Prompt 97

Hear me out. You listening? Reading? Good. 

 Cryptid batfam, but they’re very ecto-contaminated. I mean, in some continuities they straight up have a lazarus pit in the batcave. At least five of them have died before! Everyone in Gotham is ecto-contaminated in some way or the other- there’s a reason normal poisons don’t really work or how they’re not lead poisoned despite Gotham canonically being half made in its entirety with lead mixed in. Now everyone is variously ecto-contaminated, some more than others. But the batclan, who have a lazarus pit? Who have died and returned or been born from those waters? 

Liminal. Hella liminal. That pit is exposed, there’s nothing stopping the ecto energy! There’s already another lazarus pit under Gotham itself! And curses! And several pits of hell and temples to gods! Batman canonically had a portal opened on top of him by Barbatos- hell he was the portal. Sound familiar? 

Now imagine you are a normal goon. You might have a bit of eye-shine, but that’s nothing new here in Gotham. You’re a henchman, you do the job, get paid, hope you don’t die, and go home to pay your bills. Batman? No idea what that is, you think it’s some sort of hazing. Robin? Yeah right. But you swear that light was on over there, you know you put those boxes up in the proper way, so how did it fall? That window didn’t have a crack on it, and you can feel eyes on you. And it’s not the way you’re used to, like a mugger or something, no this is something worse. 

 This is something actively hunting you, and you can’t tell where it is. 

In the Danny is Damian’s brother trope what if instead of Damian not telling the family about Danny wasn’t because of grief or shame or any of the more commonly used reasons for his silence. What if it was because he heard about how his father talked about Jason after his death, focusing and exaggerating the negative. That he was violent, angry, never listened to orders but in some iterations and popular fanon is that Jason was a cheerful and studious Robin.

What if while compiling info and researching the former robins during his tumultuous introduction he saw what kind of robin Jason was, good with kids and victims. Talking about his favorite books while on patrol and similar. Reminding Damian of his most Beloved brother.

Then he finds out about how Bruce talked about Jason after he died. Using him as an example as what not to do, erasing his good traits and just using him as a cautionary tale of what happens when you don’t follow orders. Just like what Ra’s said about Danny.

So he didn’t tell the family, not out of guilt or grief. But because his father stripped away Jason’s positive traits after death, the son he chose, adopted and loved. Who when he failed because he was a child led astray by his mother. What would he do to his brother, who loved the stars and excelled in stealth, who was quite in his kills but had no lust for killing.

Whether or not Bruce would do this to Danny’s memory doesn’t matter. B’s actions are gonna affect how Damian views his father even years after the initial actions. Because Damian will protect his brothers memory from being twisted even by their father.

Alright, since it’s no longer 2 in the morning and my head’s a bit clearer, I present to you:

Liminal Riddler

So, not everyone in the DC fandom knows about this, and I’d bet that even less people in the Phandom do, but at one point, the Riddler had cancer. Had, past-tense, because he cured it. With the Lazarus pits.

And yeah, not everyone who gets dipped in the pits has to be liminal, but one would assume that the sudden replacement of a large number of malignant cells throughout the body is gonna do something.

The Riddler already acts quite a lot like a DP ghost in some interpretations anyways. He’s got a strict gimmick that he genuinely can’t part ways with, he’s campy and fun, he’s incredibly violent, etc.

Also, the way that he would react to this whole thing would be funny as hell.

Do I think the Riddler would really care if the GiW was after him? No. This is Gotham, the government is constantly going after him anyways.

Do I think he would care if Danny was being hunted down by the same people, and his parents were involved? Somewhat. He probably wouldn’t care about Danny specifically, at least not right away, but a young boy running terrified from his own parents would definitely bring back some bad memories, and he would probably give him a hand (if for no other reason than to get back to plotting crimes instead of dealing with childhood trauma).

Do I think the Riddler, whose entire thing is being smarter than everyone else, would care if the GiW somehow let slip that they thought he didn’t have human intelligence? That they believed him to be nothing but an echo of human life?

It’s not even a question. He would be the most insufferable person in Gotham within the hour. Genuinely nothing could stop him, especially not if Danny was helping jailbreak him from Arkham every time he got caught.

Almost every major road is closed. Every warehouse on the Docks is on fire. Somehow, they managed to color the clouds and smog a bright green.

The natives of Gotham would probably get those anti-ghost laws and acts overturned faster than the Justice League, if only to make the Riddler stop. His traps and games aren’t even lethal at this point (due to Danny’s insistence), but they’re so genuinely annoying that the general population is about to beat the GiW agents to death themselves just to get the Riddler to quit it already.

Also, I think that during this whirl of chaos, the Riddler would become quite fond of Danny.

He’s a bright young boy who’s very fond of wordplay, and inventive enough to keep up with him. Aside from the inevitable crisis of “oh god I’m becoming the bat,” he’d probably be happy to take on Danny as his protégé. Even if the boy won’t let him kill anyone (rude), he’s a terrifying getaway driver and can turn the both of them invisible and intangible, making Arkham escapes a breeze.

Hell, the Riddler would probably be willing to make a false identity for the two of them, just so he could get the boy proper schooling.

(Yes, he thinks that the entire education system is a sham and that he could do much better, but Danny wants to go into aerospace engineering, and the Riddler isn’t one to squander someone’s interest in learning.)

(Also, Echo and Query would find the whole thing hilarious)

Prompt:

Dick stumbles upon Jason while he’s at his most deranged and sawing heads off people to stuff them into a duffle bag and deliver it gift wrapped to the GCPD.

Dick is sick to his stomach. How can one person be capable of something so atrocious and laugh while doing it!? He needs to get back to the cave. He needs to warn Batman and Robin. This new player isn’t just dangerous, he’s evidently trying to rival his namesake in blood and violence alone and he’s succeeding.

(If Dick hadn’t been too busy keeping his late dinner inside his stomach, he may have noticed the warning creaks of the support beam.

As it is, the chains holding the beam in place snap and Dick goes down. Tumbling straight into the gory mess giving himself a concussion to boot at the Red Hood’s feet.

Shit.)

I know I’ve had some angsty Lazarus Pit hc’s but imagine this: Clark tossing Bruce in one day and Bruce clawing his way out and spitting out all of his old dental implants and screws because the Pit healed everything, even his teeth

Quantifying Lazarus Pits again:

Tower of Babel with Thomas and Martha: Orange/Red (JLA 44)

Joker & Ra’s (sane Joker): Orange (LOTDK 142-145)

Danny Temple and Edmund Dorrance with Kobra: Green (Robin 91)

Dinah dating Ra’s: Gold (BOP 34)

Bane with Kobra: Green (Gotham Knights 49)

Nyssa’s Pit for Nora Fries: Orange (Batgirl 69, 73)

Historical Pits, initial Ra’s resurrection attempt: Green (Batman Annual 26)

Resurrection of Ra’s Al Ghul: Green (Nightwing 139)

Clone Bruce, Batwoman: Orange/Red (Batman & Robin 8-9)

I think I can say ‘to resurrect someone who is dead the Pit should be orange’, but I’m poking at this set in fascination.

Randomized Robins, names and character work

I figured out what I want everybody's superhero name to be and wrote out their explanations for why they chose their names to try to figure out how I want to write them going forward.

Steph (Spoiler, then Clue): I named myself Spoiler because I was going out to Spoil all my dad’s plans! And now I’ve named myself Clue, because after my father’s death I want the chance to turn his name into something good. Plus I’ve changed my goals for why I’m doing this whole vigilante thing. Instead of being someone who ‘spoils’ the plans of villains, I want to help people and show them the true way the world can be. It’s not enough to just stop the bad guys anymore, I want to protect people who can’t protect themselves or just need a push in the right direction.

Tim (Spoiler, then Paradox): After I was brought back, everything about me felt wrong. I was Tim, yet I had another ‘self’ crudely shoved in me…literally. I was supposed to be dead, yet I was alive. I was supposed to be a ‘good guy’, yet all I could feel was an onslaught of awful emotions (not to mention that I broke Bruce’s rule, I’m a murderer now). I was supposed to be Jack’s kid, yet whenever I pictured ‘dad’ two people who weren’t him came to mind. I was Bruce’s son and Steph’s boyfriend and Cass’s friend, yet they left me with him for so long…and I suppose I betrayed them back. I had friends who could literally hear my goddamn heartbeat and protect me from bullets and race to me from across the world, yet when I screamed until my voice was raw begging for them to help or free me from that hell or to kill me and get it over with they never showed up. *Sigh* So yeah, I was basically a walking contradiction. But Pierrot and I needed to agree. And he thought ‘contra’ was both too basic and that nobody would get it. So we compromised and now we’re Paradox. 

Pierrot (He’s just Pierrot): Ok, so I got to name MYSELF! Which is AWESOME but also a lot of pressure. I mean, I started existing 2 weeks ago and now Ra’s was asking me for a name?! Like, I just spawned, can I have a bit longer before I have to make a lifelong commitment? But he was an efficient man and wanted to initiate Tim and I into the League and he couldn’t do that if I didn’t have a name. I had 3 hours. So, I went to Talia. She had just had a kid and she named him, maybe she could name me! She wouldn’t do that, but she did give me a baby book. It was useless and I hated all of those names. I was down to the last hour when Tim suggested that I just take his middle name, which is JACKSON! And I thought, “Like I’m gonna name myself after his dad!” But then it got me thinking…what if I name myself after my dad?! The Joker TECHNICALLY wasn’t my dad, but he did make the chip and the chip made me! So I had it! I would name myself ‘Jack’ and trick Tim into thinking I did it based on his advice! The perfect plan. 

….Then once we left the league I decided that I hate my dad and also his name. So I changed my name to Pierrot. It fits into my whole ‘tragic clown’ bit and I like how it has the name first letter and amount of syllables that our ‘vigilante’ name has. Plus it makes me sound sophisticated!

…….Ok fine I also like Hatsune Miku and she had a song about a puppet clown named Pierrot and I went ‘hey I like this song! yoink’. Plus there’s also another Vocaloid song about a kid named Pierrot who kills people at the behest of their parental figure and like…hello?? That’s literally our whole thing. I thought that it would be a fun if I could use that as a reason to code Vocaloid sound-banks into the mask so I could sound like Miku whenever I felt like it. Tim is still vetoing that idea. But I think the idea of getting chased by Batsy and singing ’The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku’ while he overanalyzes the lyrics of what we’re singing and guilts himself even more would be SUPER FUNNY. It’d probably mess him up for WEEKS! I mean, we have the voice modulator and it can speed our voice up, why not use it for something besides sending coded messages to Bart! 

Dick (Spoiler, then Twist): I really don’t think that Bruce wanted any more kids. It’d been a few years since Tim died and everybody could tell that Bruce Wayne was a mess afterwards. The only times he really went out were for official appearances and to go places with Cass. He hadn’t made any new friends or even kept up with his old ones, everybody thought that any chance he had at moving on was caput. So when he adopted me after my parents died, I think even he was surprised. And I just kept surprising people, first by finding out about Batman and then by becoming Spoiler and then by being really good at it! So I guess my name kinda reflects that. It’s a way to remember my parents too. Some of my best memories of them were of us flying in the sky and having fun, twisting up and around in the air. 

Damian (Spoiler, then Hoax): When I first arrived, everybody figured that I was some ploy my grandfather had dragged my mother into. In reality she was trying to get me away from the mess that was the league, but they were all paranoid enough to run plenty of tests. To the surprise of everyone except me, and Paradox perhaps, I was as real as they come. But this did not mean they trusted me. In their defense, I probably would not have trusted me either. Mother had hidden a lot from Father, for good reasons but these were still betrayals, and everybody was already on edge after Timothy’s return. The mantle of Spoiler was withheld from me until I stole the costume and went out on my own. But everybody could tell I wasn’t quite like the other Spoilers, I was too good for a kid just starting out and far more brutal than any Spoiler ought to be. Thus, I was dubbed the ‘fake Spoiler’ until Father finally let me join him officially. My name spawned from these memories and the emotions that came along with them. And after Dr. Thompkins helped me with my ‘death’, it only became more relevant.  

Jason (He’s Spoiler! So what does the name Spoiler mean to him?): Steph picked a really funny name in retrospect. I mean, the phrase ‘No Spoilers’ took on a whole new meaning in Crime Alley after she started showing up! I’d be asking people not to tell me the endings of books and they’d think I was doing some funny business that I didn’t want the capes showing up to. We got more used to Spoiler over time and most of us kids actually started liking her. It was probably because she seemed…like us. She was a normal person, not some looming rich jerk like Batman. She could relate to us when we talked about our parents and gave us advice that came from experience, not a guy repeating the same canned advice we could find on the internet. Our feelings about the Spoilers changed depending on who had the mantle, but we always trusted Spoiler to help us out without also ruining our lives. They were kids and they understood us. So…I guess to me Spoiler is someone who understands people when Batman can’t. They’re a symbol that we can all make a difference in somebody’s life, we don’t have to be some meta-human or really rich to do what we can to help each other. …I really hope that I can live up to that.

I can share weird things that I do here right?

Anyway I filled a sketchbook (first time I’ve ever done that I’m very proud) and needed another one so I cannibalized one of my old school ones and made a Batman one. Batman is cool.

Staring at a blank page is terrifying. So I picked a color scheme and made swirls. This remind me of ectoplasm therefore, I created the next six pages as journal entries about ghosts, portals, cores, physiology, and artifacts. It’s still English just with the Ancient alphabet from Stargate.

I think it’s just the right amount of stupid and absurd. Thoughts?

got ... kind of irritated by a post that referenced the line from utrh film that goes like "is it easier for you to believe the pit turned me rabid? or is this just the real me?" bc the post said that it was jason saying the pit turned him rabid

no. he was saying the fucking opposite of that

like bruce would LOVE for that to be true and Jason knows it, thats why hes saying it, he's making a point about hard truths and harsh realities, its this whole thing. begging for a crumb of media literacy pease

Give Two-Face a Second Chance!

Vote for Two-Face to be revived in @batman-heritageposts' sexyman tournament!

Prompt 215

Danny has found himself as a cat. And there’s good news and bad news about it. The good news is that he’s a magical cat or something similar, seeing as he has two tails and can go Very Big if he wants to. Bad news? He’s pretty sure they’re in a different dimension now. 

Cute news, both Ellie and Jordan are itty bitty kittens and utterly adorable, he would murder for them. They’re so tiny! Like, yeah they got physically de-aged before all this so they could properly pass as his kids- along with part of Dan’s parole- but this? He could hold them in his hands if he still had them! 

Alright! First things first, find a shelter and avoid the destroyed buildings along with whatever destroyed them in the first place. Then he could figure out if this is an accident or some sort of forced vacation. But shelter first. 

i think about these panels every day

Me after rewatching Gotham Knights and Arkham City, plus remembering every single time Ra's Al Ghul decided that Gotham is the worst place on Earth, but actually just wants the Lazarus Pit located bellow the city:

Can we all just agree that there's like a huge pit under the city? Like... the whole extension of the city is the extension of the Lazarus Pit it has and the pools we see appear here and there are the contents erupting from a lower layer of sediments out?

My reason?

In Arkham City it's located under Arkham City's subway station and in Wonder City, which is, according to the game's NPCs part of Old Gotham.

In Gotham Knights it's under Wayne Manor, meaning slightly outside the city (12 miles away), but still considered Gotham territory.

In the comics, it has appeared pretty much everywhere from what I remember, but the locations that I remember the most are under the clocktower and under the city hall, and I think there was one time it appeared under the museum.

Like, this thing is all over the place and I truly can't keep track anymore. It's like a game of Where's Wally? but instead of a guy with a striped shirt is a pool of green goo.

Also, can anyone tell me if Gotham is over a ley line? Because there's no way this city isn't, not with the amount of shit it attracts. Metropolis can have its catastrophes and he the capital of destruction due to alien activity, but Gotham? Gotham is there competing to be the craziest of the chaotic cities in DC's universe when compared with the other main heroes' cities (Metropolis, Star City, Central City etc).

Jason Todd 🧪 also done ✨

Tim ✅

Jason ✅

That leaves us with Dick and Dami >.<

Next up: Damian 🗡️

I have a question about the Lazarus Pit. So it restores you to before the time of death, but since Ra’s seems to be dying of old age and not a disease, is it like a set Tim for how far back from dying you go? Like if he soaked in it long enough could he come back as a younger version of himself or would that go to the the pit kills healthy people?

18+ minors dni

warnings: overstimulation 🎀

★・・・★・・・★・・・★

jason todd who absolutely cannot handle jealousy. who sees red at the slightest lingering stare from a man at the bar while you’re laughing about something you heard at work. who struggles to contain his urge to maim when some asshole ogles the shape of your thighs in your mini dress. who memorises the number plate of any driver who rolls past with their window down to yell out something obscene about your body, knowing the red hood will be paying them a visit later.

it’s probably the lazarus pit talking, but he knows it would be so easy to shatter every bone in their bodies with his bare hands—and, shit, it would feel fuckin’ great. but he’s promised you he’ll save his anger for the ‘real’ bad guys in gotham, so he settles for the next best option: fucking you so good you can barely remember your own name.

one of his hands gropes at your breasts while the other rubs tight circles on your clit as he ruts into you, the obscene sound of your wetness around his cock sending a chill down his spine. he’s worked three torturous orgasms out of you already—two with his mouth, one with his fingers—and you whine desperately as you feel him going for a fourth. your hands weakly claw at the y-shaped scar on his chest as he angles your hips off the bed, so that every thrust brushes against the sensitive spot in your walls.

he looks down at you with a mixture of pride and ferocity. “what’s the matter? too much for you, ma?” he asks, his voice ragged as he fucks into you. your eyes are watery and you’re reduced to a string of incoherent moans, your walls clamping down on him hard as he speaks. jason smiles wide—that’s all the answer he needs. seeing you gasp and writhe at the sensitivity as your fourth orgasm is forced out of you is enough to confirm what the both of you already know. none of those guys could fuck you like this, baby.