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#...somewhat sane okay
chloeseyeliner · 10 months
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okay but my red, white and royal blue hyperfixation might be taking a dangerous road.
I saw this:
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and IMMEDIATELY thought of Catherine and Arthur.
help
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mezzmerizd · 4 months
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I am cringe but i am free :333
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look at my two favourite blondes go, aren't they just the best :3
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STRIP 1: SILENT ROADS
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aaaand the first chapter/strip is done! how do you like 'em introductions, eh? Sammy's entire Deal™ in the first two panels is that he has a TON of pressure put on him as well as REALLY HIGH EXPECTATIONS from his family due to being a Gifted and Talented kid, ESPECIALLY from his mom, and it's a constant battle against his ADHD to FUFILL those expectations. And his Floridian school's constant antics is NOT helping him out with that. Not ONE BIT.
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shararan · 6 months
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Pretty sure hades 2020 is partly to blame for destroying my thumbs. I spent soooo many hours playing it like obsessed its one of my fondest gaming experiences for sure... but man last time i played it i couldnt fight at all 😔😔😔
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cesium-sheep · 2 years
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I wonder if a service dog with alert training would be of any help for me. because part of the problem is it's always a roll of the dice as to when I'll hit the threshold and I usually don't know what exactly was the tipping point, especially now when the threshold is both low and usually delayed reaction.
cuz like, the utility of a service dog with like, retrieval training is obvious for my situation, where I am often too exhausted to even get pre-made food from 5 feet away although the necessity varies wildly along with my condition and the availability of human support. and some dogs have been trained to lead their charges home or even pull wheelchairs like sled dogs, which would make it safer for me to leave the apartment by myself (if other things weren't making it untenably unsafe regardless).
but I feel like if I'm ever going to seriously look into the possibility of getting a service dog it's somehow my job to figure out what they can do to help me, rather than like. an occupational therapist. and even with a service dog I'd still realistically need intermittent human care, but crash alerts are something a dog can potentially do that a human can't. and would probably be helpful. if the dog says to lay down, I trust the dog.
#really I should probably just get in with an occupational therapist at least once anyway#it sounds like it's their job to know all the right tools and people to have a livable disabled life#(if you don't have the means to sort it all out independently)#also I just like dogs and really want to have one around.#although my desire for a dog gets exponentially stronger the worse I feel (somewhat counterintuitively)#which does indicate they may be of benefit beyond just 'I like dogs :)'#also also even if we get to a point where arin is working sane hours and matt is living with us#they're both going to be gone for portions of the day#and if I'm too unwell to greet them the dog can let them know where in the house I am.#which I imagine would put them at ease#(plus the dog's demeanor would provide some indication of appropriate concern level if they were trained for service)#or a dog could wake them up/find them if I'm too sick to do it#I know arin is *not* a selectively-light sleeper like I am#matt's only slept over once and in a separate room so I don't know much about his sleep#but I know if one of them was sick knowing to listen for a dog bark instead of a distant thud or whatever would put me at ease.#a service dog would also be great for the type 2 episodes.#I wouldn't have to fetch stuff for myself and I wouldn't have to worry about being unable to get help if it gets out of hand#and having a living being next to me has always helped with those#okay I think maybe I need a service dog.
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zhongrin · 2 months
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a highly important proposal
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© zhongrin | 2024  ✼  no repost・translations・plagiarism of any kind・ai data mining. rebloggers get a free cup of tea ♡
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✼ characters ┈ al haitham
✼ tags ┈ unspecified pronoun & gender of reader, fluff, crack, more of a brainrot headcanon dump than a scenario
✼ a/n ┈ i just... i love him a lot your honor
ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ)  ✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ)
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thinking about al haitham & confession...
considering his personality and the whole "a parade of providence" event long ago (with him doing such in-depth research of sachin unprompted), personally i think it would be hilarious if he wrote a whole-ass thesis about the pro and cons of you and him being in a relationship together, along with several insights and visions of how of your romantic dynamics and your life plans together could be.
oh it's a proposal, alright.
quite literally.
he also provides you a questionnaire at the very end, which allows you to agree/disagree with him and if you would get into a serious relationship with him from a scale of 1-10. in the scenario that you agreed to his proposal, there would be a whole other folder with forms containing the ranked list of proposed schedule for date nights, suggestions for date spots/ideas, chores that you like/dislike.... all for you to fill in.
hey, the man needs some basic information before he embarks on the hands-on voyage for forming a more intimate relationship with you, okay? naturally, he already did his own research and hypotheses beforehand, but it's always best to hear straight from the source and be prepared for important decisions such as this one; it just shows how much important you are to him.
kindly return the questionnaires to him along with your replies, thank you. oh, and of course, if you wish to have the evaluation verbally, he's up for that too. how does tomorrow 7pm at puspa café sound?
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bonus:
he would 100% study your replies like he's reading the most interesting limited-edition book of his favorite author. which, in essence, is somewhat true. if you're into writing of any kind, he would be the boyfriend who read every single one of your works. hell, he'd absolutely love to read your journals if you let him... partly because he wishes to support you doing the things you like, but mostly just because seeing you write down mundane things or witness your thought process step-by-step is just incredibly fascinating to him.
imagine kaveh passing by and promptly double take because he's seen al haitham drafting that thesis for the past month and he's convinced that no sane person would accept such a method of confession, but?? someone actually read the whole thing and filled in all the questionnaires???? that's just. mind baffling. mind boggling. is there another al haitham in teyvat? dear gods. no. please. just one is enough.
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✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ) ┈ @abyssmal-skies | @hamdehlesmis | @sunnshineflxwer | @yuutasbabe | @queen-belial | @stygianoir | @silentmoths | @niktwazny303 | @dustofthedailylife | @marina-and-the-memes | @mixed-kester | @lordbugs | @anonymousficreader | @shizunxie | @ansy-tea | @irethepotato | @sassy-cat-in-town | @syrenkitsune | @smokipoki | @cakeboxie | @crystalflygeo | @ciexuvia | @illaasya | @celestewritestoomuch | @pams-comfortzone | @spidermanluvr444 | @ourstrawberryclouds | @ryuryuryuyurboat | @hrts4hanniehae | @fiannee | @jingyuansbird | @florapocalypses | @genshin-impacts-me | @scarasmood | @hellcatinnc
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zephyrchama · 5 days
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Asmodeus being overly expectant that MC is going to propose to him any day now for no reason.
It’s a quiet evening and the two are lazing around on the bed in Asmodeus’s room. New skin mask pouches have been opened and applied. New issues of each of the Devildom’s most popular fashion magazines lay scattered around.
MC rolls over until they bump into Asmodeus’ thigh and raise their magazine. “Hey, Asmo. What do you think of--” ”Yes.” There is no hesitation. “Yes, I think we should.”
Asmodeus throws down the magazine he was looking at to lean over and pepper MC’s face with kisses. “Let’s get engaged, right now!”
“Oh, okay, cool. I was just wondering what you thought of this top.”
“Oh... It’s kind of tacky. You’re not wearing that to our wedding, right?”
----
It’s dinnertime and, as usual, everyone is gathered around the large dining room table. MC is across the table and several seats down from Asmodeus, with most of his brothers seated between them.
MC’s plate is almost empty. They give the table a once-over look before deciding on a course of action that requires interrupting the current conversation.
“Pardon me, Asmo, will you-”
Asmodeus squeals and kicks his feet. “Yes! A thousand times, yes! Of course I’ll marry you!”
“Wait, no that’s not what--”
“What!?” Mammon shouts, much to the chagrin of Lucifer next to him.
“In your dreams, maybe,” Belphegor quips.
Leviathan looks like he’s about to start crying.
Satan and Beelzebub, sane enough to not jump to conclusions, seem to piece together the situation. Together they work to pass MC a plate of dinner rolls that had been in front of Asmodeus.
“This what you wanted?” Satan asks.
“Yes, I was just asking for these,” MC sighs. Bread will serve nicely to sop up the remaining sauce on their plate. “Thanks.”
Asmodeus responds, “we can serve them at the reception, I think that’s fine.”
Mammon tells him to “get yer head out of the clouds, Asmo, nobody’s marrying you.”
Their mutual glares practically send sparks across the table.
“Pass them back this way,” Beelzebub requests, wanting three more for himself.
----
It’s the middle of the school day. MC pops their head into a classroom. This time they've mentally prepared.
“Asmo, do you wanna-”
"Yes? Yes! I’ll marry you.” As predicted, Asmodeus runs over and winds his arms around MC’s waist. He presses his forehead against theirs and leans them back into a dip. Several students clap. “Proposing to me at school? How brazen.”
“Well, maybe this time I’ll actually think about it, but you have to take me out for lunch first. Deal?”
Asmodeus looks somewhat stunned. He parts his lips and thinks over the proposition while staring into MC’s eyes, searching for any hint of a lie.
“Wait… Really?” He pulls MC back up and takes them by the wrist. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”
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dovedewdrop · 1 month
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Scratch My Back
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Masterlist
Joel Miller x reader
word count: 889
Summary: The tide is pulling you under, just like it has plenty of times before. Your husband helps you communicate.
A/N: I’ve been struggling with my mental health & looking after myself for a long, long time and I was getting myself all psyched up to get a shower but I didn’t end up getting in and decided to write this lil thing that I’ve been thinking about for a while! I hope you enjoy it and if anyone out there is reading this and is struggling too, just know that you are not alone and that if Joel Miller were real, he would scratch your back❤️
Also thank you so much for 100 followers🥹🫶🏻 really brightened up my spirits a lil bit💓
Warnings: No Outbreak. Depiction of poor mental health. Sadness. One big loving man (it’s Joel Miller) (Not a warning but I didn’t want it to seem all doom and gloom😅) No use of Y/N.
To Joel, it was just a Wednesday, your day off. To you, the ceiling was caving in. Before he left for work you were sound asleep, your thoughts at bay, laying still against the sand, he placed a gentle kiss to your temple before rolling out of bed. Now that you were awake your thoughts were thrashing against the cliffs, the mental whiplash you were facing ultimately draining your body of all its energy.
You watch the clock on the bedside table blink from one minute to the next. You thought about all if the things you should probably be doing; showering, tidying the house, preparing that home cooked meal you’d been promising your husband for over a week but all you could do was slip in and out of sleep, that was the safe option, the one that would keep you somewhat sane until he returned. You didn’t want to bother him, didn’t want to text him those three words because you knew he would stop everything for you, everything would be put on hold so that he could soothe you and you didn’t want to add that onto the ever-growing list of things to feel bad about. So you waited.
“Honey?” His voice reverberated off the walls, the sound of his gentle tone floated up the stairs. You didn’t have the energy to shout back, the sound of his boots hitting the wooden steps told you that it wouldn’t be long until he was by your side anyway. He took in the sight of the drawn curtains, the sight of you facing them, still in your t-shirt and underwear and you felt the bed dip behind you, the warmth of his body encompassing yours, his scent filling your scenes. 
“Something happen?” A gentle kiss placed to your shoulder blade, the feeling of his lungs emptying and filling behind your back soothing you. You shook your head, allowing a silence to draw over you both as Joel’s arms wrapped around your waist, tugging you further back into the curve of his body. He was always so patient with you, so tender.
“Scratch my back.”
Scratch my back, a cry for help. A promise made between two lovers. A rule established when you’d first started dating. Joel knew that you struggled with your mental health, you’d opened up to some extent, brushing him off with a ‘I’m having a tough day but I’ll be ok x’ text in the beginning, even then he gave you your space. 
One week in spring however, everything was not okay. He hadn’t heard from you in four days, no text and definitely no phone calls. At first he thought that this was your way of letting him know you were no longer interested and selfishly, he couldn’t let it end that way. So after days of mulling it over and chewing his bottom lip raw, he drove over to your apartment and that’s where he found you, dark circles engulfing your eyes, threatening to swallowing them whole, hair unwashed, apartment flooded in gloom.
He took a bath with you, washed your hair as best he could. The spring air still had a slight chill to it so he’d made sure your new set of pyjamas were on the radiator ready for bed and he laid with you in silence until you turned into his chest and he felt the wet of your tears seep into the fabric of his shirt. 
“You don’t have to talk to me.” He pressed a kiss into your hairline. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to talk to me, I mean obviously you can, when you feel comfortable and ready to but there is something I want you to do for me baby,” another soft kiss. Your eyes travelled up his face to finally look him in his eyes, those soft brown eyes that made you fall in love with him in the first place. All you could do was give a small nod, you would do anything he asked. “I want you to come up with a word or a phrase,” he continued, “so that when things get bad and you don’t feel like you can talk about it…” he trailed off, his hands drawing shapes up and down the length of your spine.
“Like a safe word?” He let out a huff of air at that, a small smile adorning his face.
“Yeah, kinda like a safe word, so I know that you’re safe,” his palm came to rest on your cheek, thumb cupping your jaw, “up here,” and his fingers tapped gently on the side of your temple.
“Scratch my back,” It was soft, the way it came out, tears threatening to spill over, “because if you promise to scratch mine, i’ll always scratch yours.” You couldn’t stop the tears from falling then, the last thing you wanted was for Joel to see you like this and to become his burden, but the way he’d shown you such care and compassion made your head feel a little less foggy, you wanted to promise that you could do that in return, that it wouldn’t just be him constantly looking after you.
“Oh sweet angel.” Both of his hands were cupping your cheeks now, pressing a light kiss to your nose and then your lips.
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medusas-graveyard · 11 months
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"I don't understand no-cape Danny, the Waynes are literally vigilantes!"
Girl SHUT UP that's the whole point. The Batman having this insanely powerful kid that could rival god but doesn't wanna deal with the power is good. Okay? I feed on that shit.
Also he's literally the (somewhat) normal and sane kid in the family literally everyone of them are going to coddle him. Even Damian.
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thyme-in-a-bubble · 7 months
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can't fight the moonlight
kinktober, day twenty-nine
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a/n: this one was a fantasy that was so fuzzy and took a surprisingly long time to figure out, but the hazy dream of it kept me going till i solved the puzzle
summary: it didn’t matter what you did or how hard you tried, you had no way of overpowering the beast the moonlight turned him into. 
warnings: werewolf!bucky barnes x reader, smut, bucky's wolf form is very humanoid looking (think more teen wolf, less twilight), dubcon/noncon, predator/prey, established relationship, monsterfucking, little to no foreplay, dirty talk, squirting, overstimulation, cock drunk, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, forced breeding, belly bulge, size kink, size difference
word count: 2345
∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽
masterlist | join my taglist | kinktober 2023
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“…and you’ve got some water in case you get thirsty and-, oh! Do you have something to eat? A snack or something?” you blabbered tensely as you helped lock the heavy chains that your partner snaked securely around his own limbs, bolting him to the cold basement for the night, “because I could go make you-”
Letting the iron in his grasp suddenly fall to the floor in a loud clang, like a volcano he exploded, “no!” heatedly throwing his hands up as he fumed, “I don’t need a fucking snack, would you just-…” catching your wide eyes, his sudden anger thawed a bit as he finally heard his own words, “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” you clutched your hands close to your chest, the keys tight in them dug into your palms.
Head lightly tilting to the side, Bucky let out a sigh, “you’re just trying to help and I’m-”
“It’s okay, I know,” you reassured him, “it’s the moon, I get it, don’t worry, darling,” you averted your gaze, staring down at the cold concrete floor, “I’m sorry about freaking out, like I do every month, but I just wanna do something that can make this better for you, even a little bit, anything, even though I know that there isn’t anything that can, I still can’t stop trying because I hate this,” you heard your voice grow thick and tears begin to blur up your vision, “I really really hate this.”
“Y/n…” you felt his fingers gently graze your cheek, bringing your glossy gaze back up to his, “you are helping, more than you even know. Before I met you, before you moved in and started being here every full moon, I was always terrified of getting out, terrified that I couldn’t detain myself enough and someone would end up getting hurt or worse… but I’m not scared of that anymore. It hasn’t happened once since you’ve been here to bolt the chains I can’t get to on my own and lock the doors from the other side. Plus knowing that you’ll be here when the sun eventually comes up, I hold onto that, no matter how painful it gets or how much I disappear, that fact doesn’t, it stays with me, keeps me somewhat sane throughout the night.” 
Letting out a shaky breath, you blinked away the mist in your eyes, trying to be brave as you uttered, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he exhaled, gazing at you as you leaned in to seal the final padlock with a click. Getting up to your feet, you stepped towards the door, but your fingers froze on the knob as Bucky’s voice filled the cellar once more, “try and get some sleep, okay? I’ll see you in a bit.”
Glancing over your shoulder at his shackled frame, sitting against the wall, skin already glistening from the pending trauma, you promised, “okay,” even though you knew this night wouldn’t be any different from the rest. 
You could never sleep when the moon was full, never even relax enough to rest for a bit. Even though the layers of resources that encased the basement silenced Bucky’s screams of agony from the rest of the neighbourhood as well as your own ears, just the knowledge that only one floor below where you were trying to slumber, there your beloved laid in pain as every single bone in his body had to break before he could turn into a monster of the moon, that awareness kept you up better than any caffeine could. 
Locking the solid steel door behind you, so you repeated with the one atop the wonky staircase, the rest of the house suddenly feeling so cold without his presence. 
Still clad in garb you’d worn to work, you couldn’t bother to change out of it even if the dress and stockings weren’t the most comfortable clothing to do an all-nighter in, you just seized the grey cabled cardigan draped over the armchair by the fireplace and shrugged it over top.
Holding the kettle under the tap to fill it up, your weary vision locked on the ominous sphere looming in the night sky clearly visible from the kitchen window. Losing yourself to the sight, too absorbed by the troubling thoughts it brought on, you only snapped out of the trance when cold water began to flow over the side of the pot and soak your hand that clutched it. 
“Oh, shit…” you mumbled as you hurried to turn off the water and pour some of the abundances back out into the sink. 
Placing it down on the stovetop, you listened to the gentle clicking that emanated before the eventual flame as you turned the knob. The slight heat radiating beneath the kettle persuaded you to shift into the living room and with the flick of a match, light the fireplace, granting yourself more of that soothing heat to help battle the night. 
You nearly jumped out of your skin when the water came to a boil, kettle whistling like a demon to relay the message. 
With a mug of tea in your hand, you curled up in the chair by the fire and picked up the half-read book discarded on the small side table. 
This was the routine, even though you never could concentrate, you still at least tried to distract yourself. 
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A sudden bang ripped your eyes away from the page they had glazed over four times by now. Your vision instantly trained on the door to the cellar, clearly visible from where you were sitting. 
As the door then began to rattle rhythmically from an unyielding force, your body jumped at every thud, the novel in your grasp tumbling to the floor. 
Frozen in your seat, you watched as the door splintered, swiftly losing the short-lived battle and flying off its hinges.
With heavy footsteps, Bucky’s visage stepped into the light, except it wasn’t the Bucky you knew, not one you’d seen with your own eyes, but only ever heard tales about.
At first, you thought he still looked like himself, but as the firelight flickered across his form, you finally noticed just how altered he was. His natural body hair had quadrupled, fuzzing up his visage and the rippling muscles that hid beneath it, those as well seeming to have swelled up making his frame nearly unrecognisable. Though he always towered above your comparative stature, his height now was something else entirely. The sight of his eyes chilled you to the very bone, the calming blue was completely drowned out by a sea of black, with only a tiny golden flicker in the middle differentiating the obsidian. Nails long and tough like claws, broken chains still clung to his form as you watched his lip curl, a low growl rumbling throughout the room and letting you catch sight of his sharp teeth. 
Scarcely breathing at all, your hopes of him not noticing your presence began to fade as he predatorily sniffed the air. 
Your eyes suddenly grew wide as you spotted a part of him begin to swell up and come into the light. Throbbing, his unusually grand length intimidatingly curved upwards, it too haven grown just as the rest of his body had. 
Finally breaking through your terror, you sprung up and tried your best to run, though you didn’t get far as, within mere seconds, the natural hunter caught up to you and tackled you down to the ground, shredding the cosy knit you wore in the process. 
Cheek smooshed against the floorboards, you trembled beneath his beefy form as his flaming chest pressed against your back, knowing full well that if you made one wrong move, aggravated him in any sort of way, he could snap you like a twig. It didn’t matter what you did or how hard you tried, you had no way of overpowering the beast the moonlight turned him into. 
As your eyes flickered to the front door, it dawned on you that if he could break not only the chain that bound him, but also the strong basement doors, then the last barrier that kept him from the outside world wouldn’t even make him break a sweat. 
Growling directly in your ear, you felt his agitated breath fan across your face as his nose buried itself in your hair. Starved sniffs slowly travelling south, your heart nearly burst out of your chest as you felt him rip your clothes to shreds. Dress tattered and hanging off of you, your underwear swiftly disintegrated completely as only your stocking truly survived the attack, still clinging around your quivering thighs with only the smallest of tears to tell the tale. 
Grinding desperately against the curve of your form, his monstrous girth nudged against you, catching you off guard as even in this petrifying form, you still felt your body respond to him. 
“Bucky, Buck!” your voice squeaked in an attempt at breaking through to him, “it’s me! It’s me! It’s Y/n!” wildly flipping you over and roughly aligning himself with your core, you desperately tried to catch his dark eyes and try again, “Bucky, please!”
Joints locking up at the sound of your shrill cry, a flicker of reignition washed over his haunting glare, softening it slightly as you finally heard him speak, “…Y/n?” his voice was much lower than you’d ever heard it, though very much still his, “oh, fuck… I-…” a shaky breath escaped his lungs as he hovered above you, the tip of his cock nuzzled between your folds, “…I don’t think I can stop…” he grunted, his hand right beside your head digging into the floorboards and leaving splintery scratches in its wake, “I can’t fight it, I’m trying, but-”
“It's okay,” you carefully reached up and touched his cheek. You couldn’t let him run out that door and take some innocent lives. At this moment, all of his focus was aimed at you, so if it could just stay there and not stray till the sun came up, if you could distract him for only a little while longer, then the night might end without any unnecessary bloodshed. So, therefore, you gave in, “I love you, I love you so much,” your glistening eyes blinked up at him as you tried to speak with confidence, “you’re not gonna hurt me, I know you’re not. It’s okay, it’s-” 
Plunging into you, an almost animalistic noise accompanied his harsh action as the beast he’d become seized exactly what it desired. All of the air got pushed out of your lungs as he buried himself in you, stretching you out beyond belief and forcing a shuttering cry to tumble from your lips. 
Never mind the fact that he wasn’t wearing a condom, a thing the two of you had always been careful about, that detail fought to penetrate through the fog he sent you into. Stunned that you could even take it all, the sensation of him made your mind melt. You felt all of it. Every vein and every ridge, every jaw-dropping detail that decorated his monstrous cock drove you to madness.
“Fuck!” he snarled, bucking his hips so hard against yours that your whole body shook, the sloppy clapping of skin against skin filled the home as he greedily rammed against the deepest spot inside of you, “do you have any idea how long I’ve tried to break out of those chains?” leaning down closer, he inhaled deeply, “I can fucking smell you…” you shivered as his nose ghosted against yours, “all the way down in the basement, no matter where you are, I can always smell you… calling for me, begging me to come and rip you apart…”
Leaning back again, his bruising grip found your hips and plucked them up, holding them tight as the rest of you still laid melted against the floor like a puddle before him. Like a ragdoll in his grasp, he moved your body, fucking your drooling pussy like the ravenous beast he was. 
As your eyes fluttered down to where he virtually split you in two, the dull bulge that rhythmically appeared in your lower stomach at each and every one of his ruthless thrusts caught your attention, the vision making you dizzy. 
You had never felt like this, never felt anything so intense in your whole life. He was just so menacing, so magnetic, so massive. Your own enthusiasm caught you by surprise, especially as your cunt soon began to cry out around him, showing your living room floor in your want as you squirted all over his rock-hard girth. 
Usually, Bucky would slow down and give you a moment whenever you had an orgasm, but in this moment, tonight, it wasn’t your Bucky that was pounding the living hell out of you, it was someone else, something else, and that creature only seemed to get even more riled up by your lewd display as he picked up his speed till his gravelly groans grew louder and his efforts began to go sloppy. 
“Please, Buck,” you mumbly pleaded, picking up on his telltale signs through your cock drunk haze, “not inside.”
But he didn’t listen to you as he just kept on fucking you till he pumped your pussy full of his cum. 
Panting and puffing above you, he still kept up shallow thrusts, rocking you against him and pushing his load out of your overly sensitive cunt with every piercing plunge. 
“Buck?” you heard yourself uttered as you found his dark gaze, though what stared back at you was not your love anymore as there was no recognition to be found in his eyes at all. 
Slamming you back against him hard enough for it to sting, you shuttered at the possibility that he was nowhere near done satisfying his carnal desire. 
But just before he could ruin you completely, a sliver of light began to dawn on the far side wall. Glancing out the window, you barely managed to spot the morning crest over the treetops in the distance. 
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© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 
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heaven4lostgirls · 26 days
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Best Friend (R.C)
pairing: rafe cameron x reader, possibly jj maybank x reader
warning: hurt/comfort i believe? i'm not sure. rafe's an ass but also psycho but what else is new. JJ is a cutie and we love him. mentions of unrequited feelings and jealousy.
summary: being rafe's best friend used to be one of the best things in life, until it wasnt. now its time for you to make your own choices and rafe isnt too happy about that.
word count: 2.3k
a/n: as i said, my motivation is back so say hello to a new story!, not sure if i'll continue this but if you want another part, i'll be open to trying to write another piece.
Rafe and you had been friends since before you could even know what the word meant. Y/N and Rafe, Rafe, and Y/N, never one without the other, a package deal since the day you could remember. It was beautiful, truly. Having someone you could trust unconditionally; sure, you had your family and other close friends but none of them ever knew you as well as Rafe did. His ability to see not just you, but your soul was something you couldn’t imagine finding with someone else.
Which is why for the last 5 years, you’ve spent quietly trying to kill the crush you’d developed on your best friend. Every piece of attention he had ever given you, every small touch and sweet gesture just nurtured your heart faster than any of his sexual conquests and questionable habits could ever break it. You followed his figure through the party he had thrown at house, the smell of drugs, alcohol and sweaty bodies all mushed together to create the distinct atmosphere of a typical Rafe Cameron rager.
He was known for these parties; you both were actually. You and Rafe were unanimously dubbed the prince and princess of the OBX. You were once fond of that title but as time passed and you watched from the sidelines as a new girl sat of Rafe’s lap as you were left behind to do your own thing, it became a harder pill to swallow. Currently, he had his arm wrapped around a beautiful brunette who looked nothing like you, which seemed to be a recurring theme.
You watched as he sat down on one of the couches on the balcony near his friends and pulled the girl into his lap, your eyes stung but you knew better than to let your emotions get the better of you. Now was not the time to lose your cool, someone could see, and the news would spread fast to Rafe and with his inebriated state from who knows what, you weren’t willing to take the chances he was going to act in a sane way.
So, you blinked harshly, refilled your cup with your drink of choice and went back to the party, aiming to ignore Rafe and his company for the most part until  he eventually got bored and came looking for you. Fortunately for you, you spot Kiara and the rest of the Pogue’s outside near the fire pit. It’s usually very rare to see any of them  at one of these parties, more so because of Sarah’s strained relationship with her brother.
It’s comforting to meet their warm and happy gazes, you haven’t been able to spend much time with them because Rafe had monopolised most of it, he also didn’t particularly enjoy you choosing to spend your time with someone else other than him. Fortunately for you, parties like these lets you branch out and speak to new people without having to worry about Rafe breathing down your neck.
“Hey Y/N!” John B calls out and the rest of the group turns with excited and warm looks on their faces, the calm that washes over your body is immediate and you walk over to them to say hi. “Hey” you mutter shy as the girls get up to hug you as you sit in-between JJ and Sarah. “Haven’t seen you much around the island recently, you doing, okay?” Kiara asks curiously and you chew on your lip as you wonder what to tell her.
“No yeah I’m good, it’s just…Rafe you know?” you say, somewhat embarrassed that you don’t have a better excuse for the group. As you look down to your lap, you miss the look of sympathy that Kiara and Sarah share, they know just how bad it is to be caught  up with Rafe. “Hey, are you busy tomorrow?” Sarah pipes in and you look at her in surprise, this is the first time someone’s ever invited you to hang out.
“No?” you say confused and Sarah looks at the group before breaking out in a big smile before mentioning, “We’re all going to the beach tomorrow, it’s supposed to be a really good surf day” she says as she looks at you expectantly. “We’d love if you could join us” Kiara adds and the smile that lights up is almost blinding. “That sounds great! I’m not too good at surfing but I’d still like to come if you’ll have me” you say a little embarrassed and the rest of the group just voices their agreement before Pope breaks the chatter.
“John B’s teaching Sarah tomorrow how to get the bigger waves and I’ll be helping Kie fish, but JJ’s free if you want some help” he offers and the man in question looks surprised at the suggestion. You’re shocked but you look at JJ with a small smile and shrug of your shoulders. “Yeah, no worries, I don’t know how good of a teacher I’ll be, but I can try” he says, and you nod excitedly.
The night moves on swiftly with friendly chatter between 6 of you. You  surprisingly don’t feel excluded when they start sharing all their memories together, you’re happy to sit back and listen and before you know it, the party starts dying down and people start either dozing off right where they are or leaving to get home. You try to find Rafe but one sympathetic look from Topper lets you know that he’s in his room…not alone.
With no ride home and Topper wasted, you have no way home. You’re about to start walking but you see the lights of a run-down van come to a stop across the street before the door opens and JJ’s voice carries through the night. “C’mon! John B’s our DD tonight, you can get a lift bunk with us for the night.” He offers and you gladly accept, you all make your way back to the chalet and as everyone gets to their designated sleeping areas, there’s no space for you on any of the couches.
Pope offers you his space so he can sleep on the floor, but you decline, letting him know its okay. You settle in on the cold floor and try to readjust to get a comfortable spot before you feel someone shaking your arm. You  open your eyes and blink slightly to see JJ’s ruffled hair and outstretched hand, you look at him confusedly but nonetheless comply. He pulls you up and navigates the chalet like second nature, “You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the floor.” He whispers and you shake your head vehemently.
“No, I’m not taking your bed, you sleep there. I was fine on the floor” you argue, and he rolls his eyes as he pulls you into the room. “I could hear your shuffling through the door, just sleep in the bed y/n.” he says amused, your lips twitch into a smile as you look at him in the eyes. “No.” you say, and his eyes roll again as he huffs and moves to the bed to lie down on one side.
Before you can leave you see him pat the space next to him. “You coming or what?” he mumbles sleepily. You hesitate for a second before you realise that it’s better than sleeping on the floor. You get in on the other side of the bed and place the blanket over the bottom half of your body. As you doze off, you’re mildly aware of someone pulling you closer to their chest and soft breathing against your neck.
You wake up to your phone buzzing, as you pick it up you notice almost a dozen missed calls from Rafe and over fifty texts ranging from asking where you are to confusion that you’re not at his place or your own, to anger that you’re not answering him. Your heads still pounding from the alcohol last night so all you do is send him and your parents a text saying your safe and you’re spending the day with some friends at the beach.
JJ groans from behind you and you’re suddenly aware of his arm wrapped around your waist and his legs tangled with yours. “Why’re you up so early” he mumbles into your neck, and you can’t help but laugh softly. “Sorry, my phone woke me up” you mumble sheepishly. “Then put it off and let’s go back to sleep” he groans as he tightens his arms around you which makes your face heat.
 Just as you turn your phone off and place it on the side table, the door opens and John B’s voice floats through the room. “JJ, get up we’re leaving in 10-” he stops midway through as he catches you and JJ together, you go to tell him what happened, but he just shakes his head and smiles. “I’ll see you both up and ready in 10 minutes, Y/N, Sarah left you a spare bikini in  the bathroom if you need it.” He says cheerfully as he closes the door before you can finish saying thanks.
JJ groans and throws his arm over his eyes before he smirks and lets out a huff of laughter which sends you both into fits of laughter. After you all get ready and are on your way to the beach, you and JJ spend your time talking and catching up with one another, being around the same age you both knew of each other but had never been particularly close. You come to loathe that as you find out just how funny and caring JJ is as a person.
When you reach the beach, you see that JJ had packed a spare board for you. Your heart warms at the gesture as he carries both to the water. The waves aren’t particularly high right now so as you both paddle in, you’re comfortable enough to ride a few of the smaller ones. As they get higher, you let JJ catch a few before he comes back to help you. You spend around an hour letting JJ manoeuvre you to get a good position on the board and working on your technique. It takes a couple tries of you falling off the board and trusting JJ to catch you before you’re even comfortable with trying one of the waves.
Unbeknownst to you, Rafe had been stressing the fuck out after waking up without you this morning. He had spent the better part of an hour trying to find you, you weren’t at his, nor at your parents. He’d only gotten it out of topper that he saw you leaving in a car after the party ended so safe to assume he was losing his shit. Where the fuck had you possibly have gone? Who could you have gone with? You didn’t have any friends other than him, and he knows that none of the guys at the party would have tried to sleep with you when  they knew you inadvertently belonged to him.
Mind you, when you finally bothered to answer his dozen calls and texts, all you had sent was “I’m okay don’t worry, I’m spending the day at the beach with some friends, I’ll see you tomorrow!” like hell you would. Who did you think he was? He was not going to let you just flounce around anywhere when there were people that could hurt you. Also, these “friends” you spoke about just about made him angry enough to fuel the urge to kill someone. Who could you possibly be talking about? All the people you two spent your time with were either at home still or at his place which he knew could only mean you were at the beach with those dirty fucking pogues.
You were gonna do Rafe’s head in, running off from him and the party to hang out with them? He scoffed at the thought. They didn’t know you like he knew you. They wouldn’t treat you as well as he did. Thinking about that dick John B that had roped his stupid fucking sister into their plans made his blood boil at the thought that they could be doing the same to you. The thought only made him speed faster to the beach.
Once he got there, oh was his blood definitely boiling. Fucking JJ. With his scummy little hands all over your body, in one of the tiniest swimsuits he’d ever seen you in. God, you looked beautiful. It was hard to dwell on that fact when all he could see was you laughing and splashing around with JJ whilst he stood on the beach glaring daggers at the blonde boy’s figure.
“Y/N!” he bellowed across the beach, and he gloated in the horror that washed over your face as you turned to look at the beach with JJ’s stupid fucking arms still wrapped around your waist. You try to smile and wave at him, but his anger must show on his face as you drop your hand and look  at him in confusion. “Come here!” he yells again and watches as you turn to JJ to ask a question, the blonde idiot in question just shrugs and smiles up at you.
He watches as you take a deep breath before you turn to him and shake your head whilst yelling a “NO” across the beach. His jaw clenches at your statement as he continues glaring. “I’m not playing around Y/N. COME. HERE.” He yells again and watches as JJ tells you something softly that you laugh at before you turn to him deviously before yelling out, “Fuck off Rafe” with a big smile on your face.
He inhales sharply as his gaze hardens on the both of you. Fine. You wanna be like that? Okay. He’s not letting you get off that easy. He smirks at the thought as he stalks off to his car to drive off. He’ll wait you out if he has to, and when you do come out. You’lll regret ever using that tone with him.
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squirmhoney · 1 month
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WITH TIME | NAOYA ZEN'IN
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Please read all warnings carefully, my fics cover dark topic matters, that may be upsetting to certain readers. Read at your own discretion. Warnings: Dark. Arranged/Forced marriage. Non con. Dub con. Abusive relationship. Forced pregnancy Spanking. Loss of virginity. Violence against reader. Misogynistic views. Degrading views. Submissive reader. 18+ A/N: Part 4!! Please I've added a few more tags this one so please read them. My girl is going through it. one more part to go. there is a mention of a character from part 2, just in case you don't know who it is.
AS ALWAYS MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! MASTER LIST HERE
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This wasn’t love. 
You couldn’t allow yourself to believe that this wasn’t some twisted version of hell that Naoya kept you in. 
He drilled it into your brain, not through words, but through actions. Ever since he had brutally taken you in his bed two months ago, he was no longer prepared to show any restraint towards you.
What he wanted, he got. You were a means to an end to him in all respects and he made it clear as he abused your body over and over again. He would wait till you were a whimpering mess, not showing any affection towards you, until he knew you were on the brink of becoming numb, then he’d show a slither of kindness. 
You knew the game he was playing but yet everytime you caved in and you were only starting to realise why. 
It was when you found yourself swallowing down sobs, burying your face into the sheets next to him as you tried to calm yourself down, that you finally caught on. 
Naoya’s fingers were slow as they started to graze your back, running against the soft skin as he tried to hush you. He took his time with it, watching how you reacted to each of subtle touches until he managed to circle his arm around your waist, yank your body back into his with your back pressed against his chest. Then he’d pepper kisses along the side of your face, trying to calm you down in some way.
After days of no affection, him barely talking to you and degrading your self worth to nothing, he would give you the finest speck of kindness. He knew you’d be desperate for it at that point, craving anything from him to make yourself feel somewhat sane. So of course you caved, relaxing into his touch and blabbering apologies to him. 
But today you didn’t even know whether to speak, unsure if an apology was the right thing to say. Instead you just rolled over and into him, pressing your face against his chest for the smallest bit of comfort. 
“You’re okay,” Naoya hushed, fingers threading through your hair as he gently massaged your scalp. “Hmmm.” 
The feel of him pressed against you had your stomach churning again, vomit rising up your throat. You couldn’t help it as you pushed yourself off the bed, sprinting for the toilet just to make it in time. 
It's recently turned into a regular occurrence for you to vomit after sex. It was as if your body was rejecting him, or it was slowly breaking down until it no longer functioned anymore. 
You didn’t want to be sick, honestly. 
You were terrified of how it may be offending Naoya to see you in such a state. Most of the time he just seemed disgusted by it, rolling his eyes every time he saw you retreat into the bathroom. 
However, today was different as he crouched beside you, hand rubbing up and down your spine. 
“I’ve arranged an appointment for the doctor to come see you,” Naoya said, pulling the strands of hair out of your face. “Why don’t you get cleaned up and I’ll get someone to bring you some clothes to wear?”
You nodded, croaking out a small, “Thank you.” 
“Got to take care of my wife,” he insisted.
You turned to him then, trying to muster a smile but it was hard to force it as you looked up at him. 
A lazy smirk drew across his face like he knew something you didn’t. 
“I’ll wait for you downstairs.” 
All you could do was muster a nod in response. 
/
You were trembling, your hands barely holding up as it covered your tear stained face. 
The mixture of emotions you felt, were overwhelming and you struggled as you fought with yourself to keep your cries at bay. 
But as your hand hovered over your bloated stomach, unable to even graze over the skin, you sucked in a whimper again. 
You didn’t want to cry anymore. You were bored sick of crying all the time. 
There was no other reaction you could muster. 
Even as rage filled you at the thought of Naoya Zenin’s demon child growing in your stomach, you were too scared to act out on it. 
“Wife.” 
Too busy fighting with yourself to control your emotions, you hadn’t even realised Naoya creeping up behind you. Not till his breath was fanning against your ear and his hands were forcing you to turn around to face him. 
“Hiding from me?” Naoya questioned, pressing a finger under your chin to direct your attention to him. 
 “No,” you shook your head, biting on your lip as you sniffed. “It’s just a lot.” 
Naoya nodded, tension releasing from his body as he cupped your face. 
You were taken back at his thumbs wiping at your tears but didn’t fight against it. 
“It’s okay,” Naoya hummed, voice soft and a complete contradiction to his character over the last few weeks. “I get it, I do.” 
You can’t help but gaze up at him through your wet lashes, lips quivering as you allow him to comfort you. 
“I’ve been hard on you.” You swallowed at this, not sure what he was getting at. “But you’re my wife and now that you’re carrying my child-” His hand rests over your stomach “-I will do right by you.” 
His words were meant to be reassuring but as his lips pressed against your forehead, you felt anything but reassured. 
/
As time drew on, your stomach finally started to show what you were desperate to deny. 
What had taken you by surprise the most had been your reaction to it. The way you looked back at yourself in the mirror, hand running over the swelling as you stared in awe. 
Naoya appeared behind you, pressing his chest against your back, hand coming to rest on top of yours. His eyes trailed your skin, humming to himself as he grinned at the sight of you. Until his eyes caught the faded bruise wrapped around your wrist, eyes softening as his finger touched it. 
“I need to be more careful,” he whispered, as if he was speaking to himself. 
But then his gaze caught yours, eyes darkening as his lips reached down to graze yours.
“My fragile woman,” he mumbled into your lips, hands sliding down over the curves of your body. “Mine, mine, mine…” He continuously repeated, till he was gently pushing you over the sink, dick hard and wanting as it pressed into the crack of your ass cheek. 
And when he sunk into you for the first time that day, something entirely new possessed you, repeating his words back to him as you moaned into his lips, “Yours. Only yours.” 
/
You had never imagined life with Naoya to be like this. Each month of pregnant life things seemed to be getting easier and seven months in you felt like you could find some semblance of happiness in this. 
Naoya was gentle with you, treating you like a fragile vase that was one wrong move away from breaking and you liked it. 
You liked how he doted on you in the morning, pressing soft kisses over your skin to wake you before work. You liked how he called during his work day, just ready to listen to your voice as you told him the most mundane things of your day. You liked the way he pressed you into the mattress, fingers digging into your thighs as he buried himself inside of you. 
He fucked you like he wanted to impregnante you all over again. As if there wasn’t full certainty that his seed had taken, even though you were rounder than the moon underneath him. 
But you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed it. It left you with a feeling that he genuinely cared about you, that you were more than just some mare for him to breed. As if you were his wife, possibly close to his equal. 
As his fingers danced across your collarbone, fiddling with the dainty necklace he had presented you an hour ago, you felt that feeling heating your skin all over again. 
“You look beautiful,” he told you, kissing the subtle skin under your ear. “You ready?” 
“Yes,” you gleamed up at him, pressing your lips to his quickly, before wiping any residue of your gloss away. 
“I can’t wait for everyone to properly see you.” 
His fingers interlocked with yours, guiding you to all the people that had been gathered to celebrate your pregnancy. 
Naoya only took his hand from yours to place it on the curve of your back, rubbing soothing circles as many members of the clan greeted you. Most of the men and women were ecstatic to see you both, cooing at the sight of your stomach and asking a million questions. 
You separated from each other an hour or two in, your mother taking you into a corner with a few other women as they all pressed their hand against your stomach. 
“You have felt some movement?” your mother questioned, eyebrows furrowed at you. 
“Yes.” you nodded with a half-hearted smile, starting to grow tired of the attention. “I think he’s just asleep.” 
“You’d think with all these people around he wouldn’t be able to sleep,” another voice chimed in. 
You didn’t recognise the voice at first, not bothering to look either as you replied, “He is normally awake when his father is around, if I’m being honest.” You turned your head, turning to a familiar face you hadn’t seen in over a year. 
Familiar blue eyes stared back into yours, lips curving up into a smile as she waved. 
“Hana,” you gasped. 
“Congratulations.” She raised her glass at you, lips forming into a tight line after taking a sip. 
“Could I have a moment alone?” You turned to your mother, wide eyes pleading with her. 
With only a little bit of hesitation she stood up, dragging the other women with her until they were a bit of a distance away. 
“How have you been?” You went back to Hana, shifting in your seat to make room for her. 
“I think I should be asking you that.” She took the seat beside you, both of you looking at the floor in front of you. “Don’t you think?” 
“I’m sure a lot has happened to the both of us since we last saw each other,” you told her, trying to open up the conversation to a topic other than you. 
“I find it very strange seeing you like this.” There was a sadness in her voice as if she was disappointed. 
“I never imagined I’d be like this either. It’s all new to me.” 
“I imagine it’s quite odd.” 
“In a way, unfamiliar but also… it feels right. Like it’s meant to be and everything seems to be falling into place so naturally.” 
She laughed humorlessly at this. 
“What?” Your eyes glanced over at her. 
“It feels right with him,” she whispered this, clearly not wanting anyone to overhear her. 
You noticed your husband sitting to the other side of the garden, most of the clans attention on him as they chatted amongst them. As if he could feel your eyes on him, he looked up with a wide smile and a nod. 
One that had the tips of your ears burning pink, teeth biting on your lip as you answered your old friend, “Yes, it does.” 
“You’re joking right.” 
Your gaze turned back to her at this, seeing the look of disgust clearly on her face. 
“Him?” 
“It’s not been easy,” you were truthful, placing a hand against your stomach. “It was hard-” 
“You hated him,” she hissed. 
“That is in the past. We were children then.” 
“Things don’t change that quickly.” 
“It hasn’t been quick, you think I’ve always been this happy.” 
“I’m just trying to understand.” Her hand reached out for yours, holding it. “Why him?” 
Not all of us have a choice, you wanted to scream at her. 
But you knew those words would reach back to Naoya and you couldn’t risk your emotions getting the best of you now. 
“I’m sorry,” you apologised, tearing your hand away from hers. “But I am allowed to want this for myself. I’m allowed to be happy in this.” 
“I didn’t mean-” 
“Everything okay?” Your husband’s voice spoke, a scowl on his face as he looked down at the woman next to you. 
“Can you help me to the bathroom?” You asked, holding out your hand for him to take. 
“Of course.” His hand reached behind you, helping you up as he pulled you into him. 
You took one last glance behind you, Hana not even looking your way as she kicked the grass underneath her. 
“If you want me to get rid of her, all you have to do is say,” Naoya told you. 
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” you said, a hint of a giggle in your tone. “But thank you.” 
/
Naoya found you in the kitchen hours later, dressed in a robe that barely covered you. 
You had long taken off the outfit and makeup from earlier, slipping into comfort as you let your hair messily hang down your back. You were brewing some tea for the both of you, in your own world when your husband crept up behind you. 
He buried his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent with a large sniff as you tried to recover from your thumping heart from him startling you. 
“What are you doing down here?” He asked, resting his chin on your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around you. 
“Making us some tea before bed,” you told him, eyes resting as you sunk into his warm touch. 
“We have staff for a reason.” 
“I just like to do things for you.” You pouted softly, staring up at him through your lashes. 
“You’ve done plenty for me.” Hand coming to rest upon your stomach as his fingers slipped easily under the nightgown. “Wife.” 
That simple word sent your skin ablaze, goosebumps forming in the wake of his subtle touch. “Husband.” 
He hummed, hands finding your full breasts as he gave them a tight squeeze. One that had you sighing in some sort of release as your nipples leaked. 
“That feels good.” You nibbled on your bottom lip in anticipation, waiting for his next move. 
“I can make you feel even better,” he replied, ever so confident as he unwrapped the silk robe from your frame. 
It fell to the floor in a heap, leaving you bare before him, trapped in between his body and the kitchen cabinets. 
“Turn around.” 
You obeyed, watching as his gaze  fell onto you, running over every inch of skin. 
“Beautiful.” 
He matched his words with a kiss, one placed across your chest. That turned into another placed directly on your breast, hands following as they felt up the skin of your sides. His lips slid down, kisses turning wet as he licked and nipped every inch of your skin till he fell to his knees in front of you. 
“Naoya,” you questioned him, eyes fluttering as you looked down at him. “What are you-” 
Your words caught in your throat, feeling his breath against your core as he gently pried your thighs open. You tried to move with him, letting him open your legs but it was hard not wanting to push all your weight on him. 
He looked up at you, eyebrows raised as if questioning why you were being so difficult. 
“Relax,” he told you, wrapping your thigh around his shoulder. “I got you.” 
You let out a strangled breath, resting into him and letting his hands catch you. 
“There you go,” Naoyo mused, finally being face to face with your sopping cunt. 
He’s never been down there before, not like this. The only time he ever was staring at your cunt was when his fingers were playing with your clit or his dick was getting lost in your walls. Never had he been so close with his actual face and you never believed he would be. 
Disbelief filled you when his lips finally kissed you, being met with instant wetness coating his lips. 
He retreated for a second, licking the fluids on his lips as he wrinkled his nose. 
You didn’t see much of a reaction from that but he soon returned, mouth opening as it met your wetness this time. 
He took his time, using his tongue to explore the different parts in between your folds, swallowing the fluids of your cunt every now and then. He noticed the way your thighs would tighten every time his tongue grazed over your clit and eventually he found his attention drawn to it. 
You mewled when his tongue flicked at your clit, hand grabbing the countertop behind you for support. 
He chuckled at this, the vibrations of it going right through you as your walls clenched around nothing. 
You could feel his sinister smile grace his lips as you grabbed his locks, stomach tightening in knots at the foreign feeling of him sucking at your clit. 
Naoya wasn’t a man that would eat a woman out. The man had never even so much as tasted you down there and you knew for a fact he wouldn’t have done this with someone before you, he would have been disgusted at the mere thought. 
But Naoya was eating you out like a crazed man in dire need of every drip of juice your cunt would offer him. He made this clear in the way his lips detached from your clit only for his tongue to sink down, delving into your walls. 
With one hand digging into the flesh of your ass cheek, Naoya used his other hand to dip in between your thighs, thumb finding your swollen clit. 
As soon as his thumb began to rub your clit, you were dripping into his mouth, growing wetter by the second as he just drank it all in. Your eyes rolled back as 
“Have you always tasted this good?” He groaned into you, lapping up your sweet essence. “Fuck, I need to this more often.” 
Your eyes rolled back at that, fingers tightening on his locks as you felt yourself suddenly let go. 
He doesn't stop. Not even when your thighs practically trap his head between them. Not even when you drop every bit of your weight on him, falling slack into his grip. 
It’s only when you relax, coming back from your orgasm, that you're desperate to check he’s okay. 
But he’s fine- more than fine as he detaches himself from your cunt, lips covered in your honeyed slick. His chest is heaving, completely breathless like you as he stands up, towering over you. 
“You’ve made such a mess,” he tutted, shaking his head. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, still coming down from your high as you rubbed your hand to his chest. 
“How about you come make a bigger mess of me upstairs?” He hummed, already whisking you towards the direction of your bedroom.
Taglist: @xxsweetnlowxx @slashmedaddy @yktijdtmyp @4morrant @vcvoxu @paleachcobbler @checkmate-stuff (let me know if you wanted to be added)
327 notes · View notes
bonny-kookoo · 10 months
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X♡X♡ [SEVEN DAYS] Day 2
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The second day gives you a moment of reflection, and an interesting insight into his position in not only this arrangement, but the scene in general. And he also helps you use your past bad experiences go create a new one- one you'll probably never forget.
Tags/Warnings: Porn with a lot of plot basically, inexperienced!reader, Dom!Jungkook, BDSM themes and elements, discussion of past bad experiences (sexual and general relationships), bondage (tied wrists), sensual dominance, Oral (male receiving), handjob (female receiving), squirting, more of Jungkooks dirty thoughts but its pretty tame this time haha, aftercare, romantic tension is that a thing I'm making it a thing now
Length: 5.3k
There is no taglist for this fic.
-> Masterlist
A/N: Hello hi I hope this doesn't disappoint 💗
◇━━━━━━━━━━X♡X♡━━━━━━━━━━━◇
The next day, it's him who wakes up first. And for a minute or two, he's actually unsure where he is- why is he on the couch? And why does his chest feel so heavy?
And then it all bleeds back into him, fills his head with nothing but memories of what happened yesterday.
He wonders if it feels the same for you as it does to him. Do you enjoy it? Sure, it looks like it, feels like it- but what if you only pretend to not make him feel bad?
He knows what's going on with him, so he decides to be a little selfish for once. You'll understand- he's doing it to stay sane and in a good headspace after all, and that only benefits you at the end of the day.
His arms move around a bit, adjust as he carefully pulls you a little closer, just to reassure himself. You're sleeping deeply, resting comfortably, and that can only mean that he's not scary to you. You still like him, you still want to spend time with him.
You wake up slowly, stretch your limbs for a second before you yawn, eyes slowly opening to look at him. "What's wrong?" You ask, and he just shakes his head.
"Nothing." He smiles, speaks with an equally as tired voice towards you, as you to him. You don't buy his cheap lie though.
"If I need to be honest at all times, I want you to do that too." You argue sleepily. "Thats only fair."
"You're right." He sighs, running a hand through your hair. "You remember how you dropped yesterday, during your shower after I warned you what could happen?" He reminds you, and you nod, suppressing a yawn. "Well, I'm having somewhat of a similar situation. It's fine though- I'm already feeling much better." He reassures, but you move, and lean on your hands before you sit up.
"No, wait-" you shake your head. "-can I help with that? Like, you helped me, there's got to be something I can do in return." You tell him, and he can't help but lean his head back, close his eyes and laugh.
You're just too precious.
"I just need you." He says after a moment, hand reaching out for yours to take. "Thats all." He shrugs, and you watch him with suspicion, though you do take his inviting hand and lay back down close to him.
"Can you.. you don't have to if it's weird!" You instantly interrupt yourself, making him chuckle. "But.. okay so, it made sense to me that as the.. receiving one and stuff, you'd go through a drop of emotions. Like, of course, sure. But like, I don't really understand how you'd get the same feeling? You're the leader and stuff, right?" You wonder, and he nods, humming to himself as he thinks about how to properly explain it.
"People tend to think that the sub is.. some sort of 'victim' towards the dominant person." Jungkook says, while the arm you lay on is bent, hand drawing shapes on the tip of your shoulder. "In reality, it's a clear power exchange, right? I only do what you tell me I can. You're calling the shots. You make the boundaries- I only ever have as much power as you're willing to give me." He explains to you, and you nod. "And with that comes.. responsibility. Pressure. Because in order for you to be able to let yourself fall, I have to be able to hold you for that time." He continues, as your hand reaches out to let your finger follow some of the inked lines of his tattoos. "I go through just as many emotions as you do. It's why I told you aftercare is important for us both." He says, looking at where your finger is tracing his skin. "Without it, I can drop just as hard."
You adjust your position as he finishes his explanation, looking at him. "Is there.. can I do anything to make sure you.. like, don't?" You ask. "As in- what do you need to feel good afterwards too?" You wonder, and he laughs to himself, shaking his head before he pulls you a bit closer for a second.
"Like I said-" he says, stretching his arms as well. "-I just need you. As long as you make me feel wanted, I'll be fine." He offers, before he kisses you're forehead, only to get up and walk into the bathroom right after.
You're not entirely sure if you understand what he means by making him 'feel wanted'-
But you'll do everything that you can to make sure he's gonna enjoy this week just as much as you know you will.
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You're both having breakfast, simple foods on the table, and in a way, it feels almost domestic. You already don't want to ever leave his home ever again- everything's so calm and it feels almost.. surreal. You've never felt like this. Up until now, you've always been somewhat stressed about things, so much so that it's become normal to you. The pressure of work, someone ringing the doorbell even if it's just the mailman, your boss calling you into office every now and then- pressure and stress have always been there for you. So, in a way, this calm and carefree bubble you're currently in, is intimidating you.
A lot.
"Have you ever given head before?" Jungkook asks suddenly, making you choke on your glass of water, making him pat your back with a grin on his face. "Sorry, I should've waited until you were done drinking." He laughs, and you slowly catch your breath again.
"I uh- tried but it was awkward really quickly so he.. kind of told me not to.." you reply to him, your words growing quieter towards the end. He feels an odd sense of pity for you- not really in a demeaning manner, but more so in a way of empathy. After all, he's been through a bad relationship in the past too- one that had given him major insecurities from himself and his body, issues he needed time for to solve them for himself. He feels for you. You should've never had to experience those things.
But if he can do anything to help you heal, he will do it.
"Did you not like it?" He asks casually, eating the simple breakfast food he's made earlier. He's so at ease with these things that you can't help but be as well- shrugging.
"I.. don't remember." You answer honestly. "I'm not sure anymore. I think.. like, the idea of doing it with you seems a bit intimidating, but not.. unattractive, you know?" You say, carefully lifting your gaze to look at him, who's lips are slowly turning upwards at the corners as he chews his food.
"Would you like to try? After we're done eating?" He asks, and you nod. It's another sign that you're growing more comfortable with him- clear answers falling more freely from you, you're no longer as eager to make sure you keep your true intentions hidden. And while he knows you still hold back a lot, he still appreciates the steps you're taking towards him.
Because it makes him eager to finally take your hand and never let go.
"You know.." You start, slowly, and he let's you go at your own pace for a moment, not pressuring you by looking at you or anything. He knows you're easily intimidated and pushed backwards whenever you try and jump over your own shadow in any way, so he tries to keep things as comfortable as he can for now. Just like he said, he's getting to know you, after all- not only on a physical level, but an emotional one as well. He's got the unique opportunity to really look behind the scenes of your otherwise always carefree nature you put up.
He wants this simple act to become a reality with him. He wants to be able to actually make you feel relaxed, and comfortable, and not so stressed all the time. Because he felt it. In the tense muscles of your body, in your need to somehow prove to him that you can be independent, and even before he got to touch you he's known. You seem awfully terrified of relying on someone, of trusting, or simply letting someone else take the reigns. You never truly let yourself go, and while he wants to know why- this week, he's rather gonna focus on showing you that he can be a safe zone for you.
He can't erase what memories you've already made. He can't undo what's happened to you- but he can make sure that your future experiences will outweigh any bad past you're carrying around.
"How about we.. uhm.." You start, instantly gaining his attention. You seem to think deeply before you bite on your bottom lip, a nervous habit he's already noticed. He does it too, mostly with his piercings- so he's in no position to try and scold you for it. "Like, I feel like you're not.. uh.." You don't know how to say it, and it's clear to him. He wonders what you want to say. He's not- what? What do you want him to do?
"You know you can be honest with me." He chuckles. "Really. If there's anything I'm doing that's not comfortable to you, you should actually said it." he offers, and you nod, putting your cutlery down before you lean back on your hands.
"It just.." You still struggle clearly. "You're the.. dom, right?" You ask, and he nods. "But, it doesn't really feel like it?" You carefully phrase, probably because you don't want to scratch his ego in case he'd feel attacked. But he's not so fragile. He won't break from a simple observation like that.
Mostly, because you're right. And that's been a calculated move from the very start.
"I don't want to overwhelm you, simply." He shrugs. "I hardly think you would've enjoyed our first experience together if I was to push you around and bark orders at you, would you?" He jokes almost, and you nod after thinking about it.
He's right. That would've probably more or less traumatized you.
"But we can definitely increase the intensity, if you want to." Jungkook offers casually. "I go at your pace, after all."
"But is that even enjoyable to you then?" You wonder, a bit insecure. "Isn't it boring?" You ask, and he shakes his head.
"Trust me-" He smiles, collecting the empty dishes on the table. "-having sex with the person you love is never boring." He winks, before he takes your dishes too, and brings them into the kitchen to wash them.
All while you're left stunned by his words spoken so effortlessly and out in the open as if they were nothing.
You wonder when you'll be able to do that.
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It's only Tuesday, and for some reason, sex has already begun to feel.. almost natural with Jungkook.
He doesn't make it into an awkward show, or something you need to endlessly prepare for- and neither does he keep it strictly bound to one place or setting like you've known it to be in the past. Jungkook is a free spirit- and it shows in the way he approaches sex and intimacy.
It's odd, how you're already noticing that.
"Now remember, Tiger stops everything. Saying it is nothing bad, it won't make things awkward-" he recites to you, as he crawls onto the couch, already shirtless. "-well simply calm down, clean up, and talk about what made you use it. Not to put you on a pedestal-" he continues, and you nod.
"-But to communicate and learn, I know." You reassure him, and he smiles, tapping below your chin.
"Good Girl." He teases, probably accidentally making your heart jump.
Whenever he says things like this, does things like this, you feel like you're actually falling in love with him. And that's fine, right? After all, he wants to love you too.
He's just waiting for you, patiently.
"Alright. Eyes on me from now on." He demands, commanding tone making it clear that the scene has begun- and the excitement of it easily begins to bubble up in your veins, filling your bloodstream with warmth and anticipation, while he moves, buckle of his belt jingling a little as he discards his pants- and you just know, from the way he moves, that he's also stripping off the rest of his clothes.
But you stay strong, even though your eyes desperately want to wander lower, curiosity spreading as he moves to sit behind you, when you feel something cool but soft against your wrists he's holding behind your back. "Remember-" he lowly speaks. "-If you feel like you'll panic, say the word." He reminds you one last time, before he pulls his pelt tight, experienced movements of his hands binding together yours, making you unable to use them anymore.
And then, you feel his lips. Faintly, almost teasing, pecking your skin, from the spot where your wrists rest straight up your spine to the back of your neck.
You shiver, but not from the cold. He chuckles as if to answer, before he moves to sit down with his back against the headrest of the pull out couch you've slept on with him last night, reaching out to you.
His hand on your chin, thumb almost gently running over your bottom lip, before he dares to make you open your mouth, his finger on your tongue. Throughout it all, your eyes stay on him, just like he told you they should, and you can feel something happening to you you didn't know was possible.
You feel like you're reaching your peak just from this alone- the sight of him, your hands bound behind your back, the knowledge that he's entirely bare in front of you. You want to see him.
But you wait. He's in charge, after all.
"So pretty.." he chuckles with eyes dark, licking his own bottom lip until the tip of his tongue plays with his piercing a little, while he watches you struggle to stay calm. His hand leaves your face, before he seems to think-
Just for a second though. He won't go there yet- slow steps, steady progress, no rush, he reminds himself.
"Look at you, so patient." He praises, and your breathing picks up at the sound of his words, eyes sparkling. You're so cute, he thinks to himself. Dangerous, most of all. "Tell me what you want." He commands, and you swallow, before you speak.
".. you." You answer. He chuckles.
"I'm right here." He snickers, amused.
"No, like.. I want-" you say, looking down his chest, his stomach, muscle defined as you reach his belly button, before the prominent V-Line greets your vision, soon followed by his hard length fully erect.
It twitches once, and you can't look away.
"Eyes up, darling." He demands, and your gaze snaps back up, earning a pleased smile. "Good Girl." He grins. "Now, I'll ask again. What do you want?" He asks, and you have to physically force the words out of you.
"I want you inside my mouth.." you tell him, and he tilts his head to the side, faking innocence.
"You'll have to be more specific, darling." He purrs down at you, hand around your neck angling your face upwards to straighten your back, fixing your posture for you. It helps- though the simple touch around your throat makes you clench around nothing, oddly enough. It's clear that he's slowly increasing the intensity of the powerplay- no longer as easy to convince.
You've probably already leaked onto the sheets underneath you. And you couldn't care less.
Maybe it's the way he's gotten you to straighten your back in an almost confident position. Maybe it's the praise getting to your head. Or maybe you're just being consumed by your own lust. But suddenly, your words aren't so hard to say out loud any longer as you speak.
"I want to please you." You say, and it catches him off guard a little. "Please let me have it.." you plead, and in this moment, he doesn't care that you're technically still not speaking out what you want specifically. He really couldn't care less.
How could he, with a goddess Aphrodite on her knees right in front of him, asking to pleasure him?
"Go ahead, darling." He says, finally offering his permission. "Let's see what you have to offer, hm?" He teases with a low purr in his tone, and at that, you realize you've received the green light from him.
And quite honestly, suddenly you don't care anymore if you've ever given head- because after all, Jungkook will guide you. Jungkook will use you in any way he deems right.
And you don't mind one bit.
You're not to sure what you're doing, but you're going small steps at a time, threading carefully to check what works and what doesn't. It's intimidating, yes- but not in a bad way. More like, you know what you want, you got the goal right in sight of you, but the road there seems a bit tough to navigate.
But you'll figure it out. You'll earn his praise, his affection, and most of all-
The sight of his face bathed in pleasure.
You lick the very tip as if to taste first, eyes looking up at him to check if there's any change in his expression- but he just watches you for now, not much to be seen on his face yet. Only when you wrap your lips around the head of his cock does he lean his head back, eyes closed and lips parted, and you know that while yes, you're getting what you wanted-
It's not enough. You want to see more.
Your wrists struggle for a second as you're reminded that they're out of order for now- and instead of starting to panic like you thought you might, you instead think of any other way you could use your mouth on him. You don't want to be boring.
If you're boring he might just not want you.
And you want him to want you.
Rolling your tongue around his head, you notice the way the muscles in his lower stomach contract- a clear reaction, face also scrunched up in what you know must be a positive reaction-
Because he's smiling, after all.
You're taking him deeper and deeper, testing your own limits, and its really making him use up all his willpower not to grab your hair and fuck your mouth. Your lips are shiny with your saliva, you're slowly easing that tension in your bones too- you're becoming comfortable, and that alone is reward enough.
That, and your goddamn tongue running over his cock like a succubus.
You're not sure how to properly stimulate him considering you can't fit much of him in your mouth, so you occasionally let him pop out just to lick the rest of him base to tip. You like the way it makes his breath hitch.
"So good." He praises, breathes out mostly as you hold him flat on your tongue, swallowing around him.
And he gasps out at that, a moan escaping him that sounds so forbidden that it sends pleasure right down your core. You do it again, and it makes his face scrunch up, teeth biting his bottom lip as he starts to look concentrated on something.
"You can spit it out." He says, and for a second you're not sure what he's saying, having just started to play around with sucking the head slightly, when his thighs seem to struggle keeping still, a drawn out groan escaping him as his release shoots into your mouth.
You drink him up, and he can't help but laugh.
You really are dangerous, a demon in disguise.
The moment you let him go, you lick your lips, although the bitter taste makes you involuntarily cringe slightly. He can't help but chuckle in endearment at the sight, moving in his position to kiss your cheek, jaw and neck, tongue running over your skin it feels like, his kisses both incredibly dirty but sweet.
It makes you feel butterflies, and they're just as excitedly fluttering around as your body is as soon as his hand finds its way between your legs.
"So wet- desperate to get off, aren't you?" He asks, and you nod, easily falling onto your back to lift your legs as he strips off your underwear, clear strings of arousal clinging to the fabric for a moment before its discarded somewhere you don't care. "Look at that pretty cunt." He chuckles, hand easily moving, fingers dipping between your lower lips to cover themselves in your juices, every motion smoothly gliding. Two of them enter your achingly empty core, and he feels you clench around his digits already as he moves them in and out. "So soft and warm.. makes me wanna bury myself balls deep inside it." He says, and you whine at the thought of it.
You want it. No matter if you can't take it- you want it.
He takes out his fingers just for a moment to teasingly tap your clit, making you kick out your legs in frustration as he keeps on providing never enough friction or stimulation to truly get you off.
"Please-" you beg, out of breath. "-please make me cum!" You tell him, and the corners of his lips move upwards at your first true demand voiced out clearly.
"You wanna cum, huh.." he hums almost to himself, when he moves to perk your butt up on his thigh, before his hand cups your heat for a moment, as if to contemplate what to do next.
And then his fingers are back inside, curling and moving rapidly, heel of his palm finally giving you that friction you've been seeking. But it's fast, it's rough, and while you don't say the word that would stop it, you're unsure what's happening to yourself.
"Let go." He tells you, free hand grabbing one of your tits to let his thumb run over your perked up nipple. "You wanted to cum-" he almost mocks you, "so cum." He demands, and that you do.
You don't know what exactly happens, but you know that he doesn't seem to mind it, so it's probably nothing bad.
Wet sounds suddenly echo off the walls as he moves a bit slower, pushes you through your orgasm and straight into another, softer one that doesn't make you almost deaf and blind. It soothes you a little, until the sting of overstimulation makes your hips jump.
You only barely notice his palm soothingly running up and down your thigh now, having let go of your still throbbing cunt as you recover from whatever that was, sheets visibly darkened below you while his hand and forearm are glistening with liquid.
You can see him smile down at you, and that's enough. You don't need to understand anything to just enjoy his affectionate eyes on you.
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You're in the bathtub, when you inspect your wrists, his own hands carefully holding them, thumb running over the red marks left. They'll fade soon, you know that- and it makes you almost sad, looking at them.
"Leather is a bit rough." He hums in thought. "I'll use something softer next time." He offers, moving your wrists closer to his face to kiss the skin there.
"Its fine.." you say quietly, voice echoing off the tiled walls of his bathroom. "I like.. this." You say, and he chuckles.
"Me kissing you, or the marks on your skin?" He wonders, and you shrug, water moving a bit.
"Both." You say, looking up at him from over your shoulder.
"Noted." He jokes, though you can see something sparkle in his eyes. "Though, I gotta say.." he says, moving a bit as the water sloshes around, "...that was quite impressive for a first-timer." He jokes, and you roll your eyes, face turning red.
"I didn't even know what I was doing." You deny, making him laugh openly.
"Well, once you know what you're doing you're gonna send me straight to the moon then." He exaggerates playfully. "That'll be an out-of-body experience!" He tells you, and you just lean back into his chest, shrugging.
"Well, I've got five more days to work on my skills." You proudly say, and he nods quietly.
"Only five?" He teases, and you groan.
"Yeah.." you hum, looking up at him. "Tonight I just wanna.. cuddle?" You ask, and he nods softly down at you, arms wrapping around your shoulders.
"Cuddling it is then." He tells you, reaching over your shoulder to drain the tub of the soapy water.
And true to his word, the rest of the day is in fact spent mostly domestic and without any further mention of any.. adult activities, until a question begins to bother you, as you watch him scroll for something to watch on his TV. "Hey, Jungkook?" You wonder, and he raises his brows, humming a reply to you that shows his peaked interest in what you've got to say. "Isn't it.. gonna be, I don't know.." You mumble, unsure how to phrase it. "How come we haven't had.. sex yet?" You ask, and he looks confused for a moment, before he looks at you, task immediately abandoned at your words.
"I'm not sure if I follow." He jokes. "I'm pretty sure we had sex just a few hours earlier? When you squirted-" He starts but you wave him off like an annoying insect in panic, making him laugh at your shy antics.
"No no no, that's not-" You shakes your head, before you clarify. "That's not- like, proper sex. You know." You try to get him onto the right path, and he leans back into the couch, crossing his arms.
"Ah-" He hums out after a moment of contemplating what you've said, finally processing it correctly. "Okay, I get what you mean now. Though I've gotta correct you-" he says, putting down the remote to the TV for now. "-I don't have to put my dick in you to be able to call it sex." He corrects you in a gentle way, before he uncrosses his arms, turning his body more towards you. "But I have a feeling that's not entirely your point." he continues, and you shrug.
"I don't know how to explain it." You complain. "Like, even if I'm gonna like everything you do this week-" You offer, trying to convey your feelings properly. "-I'm still not gonna be able to.. have that kind of sex with you." You say, and he scrunches up his brows for a second, before he shakes his head.
"Doesn't mean we can't try." He tells you. "Is that something you'd want?" He asks, and you nod. "No, I mean- is that something you'd like to do? Don't just say yes because you think I'll need that from you to feel satisfied. I can think of numerous different ways to get myself off with your help, don't you worry about that." He chuckles, especially when you grow clearly flustered by his blunt way of talking about this entire topic.
"I already know I can't do it." You deflate, averting your eyes. "I told you- it didn't work-" You start, but he shakes his head.
"Just because it didn't work with him, doesn't mean anything." He denies. "There's tons of reasons you weren't able to take him. Maybe actual size, maybe poor preparation, maybe you were too tense, maybe all of it- we'll never truly know." He shrugs his shoulders. "Trust me when I tell you, that if you want to try, I'm gonna make sure I'll use any way I know of to make it as comfortable as I can." He offers, but you don't seem too convinced.
"But you're- like, a lot bigger than him." You say, probably unaware how that fuels Jungkook's ego in secret, as he suppresses a smirk.
"So?" He asks, unable to see your point. "I'm not like him. I actually care about my partner's pleasure together with my own. You'll just have to trust me, and I'll make sure to try any way to make it work." He offers, and after a moment or two, you nod.
"Okay." You say. "I want to.. try then. Like, not right now- but, I don't know. At some point." You nod, and he grins brightly, nodding as well.
"I'll keep it in mind."
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"You're still awake." He notes as he sits down on the edge of the pulled out sofa, having left his bedroom to grab a glass of water in the middle of the night, and you sigh, admitting it with that reaction. "What's on your mind?" He asks, and you shrug, turning towards him.
It'd be selfish to ask him to sleep in the same bed with you again, right? After all, this week is about sex, and finding out if you're.. physically compatible, so to say. Or maybe not even that. He'd just said he wants to convince you of his ways, not that he'd be with you at the end of this week. Have you lost that out of sight, already?
It's only Tuesday, and you're already somewhat regretting things. It feels weird, like that feeling of disappointment you get when thinking of a past experience or achievement you missed out on because you'd been simply stupid or selfish.
This doesn't mean anything to him. He's just so caring because that's what he's like with everyone he fucks.
"Nothing." You say, refusing to open up to him, and he doesn't know what brought that on. He's not sure what he's supposed to do now- after all, you both agreed to exploring each other on an intimate level, but you didn't actually clarify if you wanted to explore anything romantic either. He doesn't want to overstep a line for you, doesn't want to push anything you wouldn't feel comfortable with.
But at the same time, he can't help but feel like you're constantly reaching out for his heart, though careful, and unsure.
"If it keeps you up at night it's not nothing." He declines your answer, reaching out to adjust one of the pillows so it doesn't hide your face from him. "Tell me. I can't help if I don't know what's going on." He reminds you, and you stay still for a moment or two, clock on the wall of his open kitchenette ticking the only sound in the apartment for a good while.
"I think I-" You start, unable to finish that sentence how you'd like to.
I think I'm falling in love with you.
"I think I don't want to sleep alone." You instead say out loud, sounding horribly selfish in your own ears. But he just chuckles and nods, patting the blanket you're under.
"Scoot over then." He teases, making you move just like he'd requested, before he sneaks underneath the blanket where you're already warm and cozy. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asks quietly, as you look at him in the darkness of the apartment.
You nod, silently, hoping he sees.
He does- but he doesn't believe in it. There's something on your mind you're not telling him, and he knows he's gonna have to coax it out of you at some point this week, because there's this odd feeling in his chest that suspects, and maybe even hopes, that what he himself is feeling might just be what you're battling with as well.
And he wants to hear you say it.
He wants you to love him.
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liberifatalis · 8 months
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I don’t know how long this was in my inbox for, I’m assuming it’s been here for like 3 years so I’m SO sorry anon lol. I’ve been going through writers block for like years at this point and I still struggle with it. 
BUT recently I’ve gotten back intowriting kinda, and since I’ve been writing a Sephiroth fic I thought I’d finally start writing headcanons again. The FF7 writing community outside of in-game ships is dry as fuck right now, especially the headcanon/reader-insert side of fandom, so hopefully you’ll enjoy this if you’re still out there anon! I apologise again TTTT
This is a mix of SFW and NSFW headcanons as it’s been a while since I’ve posted any headcanons, and my view on Sephiroth has sort of changed since the last time I posted headcanons for him, so it might be different to my previous interpretations. But I have included more spicy headcanons, so hopefully you'll enjoy!
I would like to add that while these are my own interpretations of Sephiroth, I have also been influenced by many other interpretations/headcanons of him as well! Most of these aren’t adding anything original at all, and I’d say a lot of blogs on here say about the same kind of thing in regards to him. So if anyone disagrees, that’s okay! This is all interpretation and I’m just mainly having fun.
SFW and non-SFW below All headcanons are of CrisisCore!Sephiroth
DISCLAIMER: long post below, lots of text.
SFW
I know he’s like…technically half alien, and that’s a big reason as to why he’s always felt and kind of behaved differently, but to me, he’s very very neurodivergent coded. I don’t want to use a specific label, but he’s absolutely neurodivergent to me. He’s always felt like an outcast, he stands out, he holds himself differently, he’s aloof, stoic, doesn’t really know how to say things without coming off as intense and kinda intimidating. He barely socialises with anyone other than his friends because he doesn’t really know how to. He never seeks out friendship with anyone, and he became friends with Genesis and Angeal originally because of proximity. I’m not saying the friendship wasn’t genuine, it was and he cared for them, but he’ll never be the first to initiate a friendship or anything like that – the fact that Genesis and Angeal were in SOLDIER, therefore in proximity to Sephiroth, is what sparked the friendship. He would have never been like “hey bro, let’s be buddies”. It was more like, he had to see these people regularly, so he had no choice but to socialise with them, and then he ended up finding out that they weren’t too bad and he enjoyed their company, and friendship and a deeper bond formed after that. 
He struggles to relate to people, but grows very attached to people he can relate to. Whether that’s being an orphan, being an outcast, shared hobbies,  ANYTHING. If he can find anything to relate to someone, something you can share, it sparks his interest (platonically) and will make him feel slightlyyyy more at ease around you and want to get to know you more.
A lot of people headcanon him with anxiety or PTSD, and I completely agree. He’s very neurotic. But I think that’s quite obvious if you consider his past and how he was raised. No one could come out of that completely mentally healthy and sane. He’s prone to insomnia, night terrors, panic attacks, but it’s never shown to anyone but him. In canon, we can see that he’s almost always composed and professional, and he is constantly putting in effort to maintain that demeanor. 
Has no identity outside of SOLDIER/Shinra. Him being neurodivergent also makes him struggle a lot more with this, so he’s kind of internalised being a SOLDIER and it completely defines him. Poor boy is lost.
He likes people (platonically and/or romantically) that can “keep up with him.” Zack, Genesis and Angeal were his only friends, and it makes sense. They can, at least somewhat, keep up with him. He likes a slight challenge (physically and mentally), someone that can keep his brain moving. I think he’d be amused by someone who was a bit hot-headed or blunt, as well.
Very dry sense of humour, as we see in canon. A lot of the time people can’t tell he’s joking unless they’re close with him. 
Very very intelligent and academic. Loves to read. Lil nerd. Will read encyclopedias, dictionaries, thesauruses, history books, articles, textbooks, science books, anything non-fiction. Not only does it calm his brain and his neuroticism, but he is genuinely interested in anything where he can gain knowledge. Knowledge is power, and he needs to feel powerful. He is a fast reader too, able to finish an average 500 page book in under 6 hours.
Only listens to classical music. Literally does not understand anything else. There can’t be any vocals, just instruments. 
Horrible at expressing himself honestly and genuinely, and spontaneously. Everything is carefully thought out and spoken bluntly, as if he’s reading from a textbook. He will literally stand there silently, eyes narrowed in deep thought, for a minute if he needs that time to think of a reply, because he’s not one to fumble over words. If he’s with someone (a friend or partner) who will give him the space and patience to speak openly and awkwardly, it will still take him time to be completely vulnerable. A partner who is open and vulnerable and doesn’t shy away from being a little awkward with their feelings will involuntarily demonstrate vulnerability for him, and give him an opportunity to try it for himself, and he’ll kind of learn from them.
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^^^ Adding on to this point, there are so many scenes in my rough drafts of Flood & Flame where Sephiroth and reader are literally standing there staring at each other like this gif, and mulling over what they should say LMAO. A lot of these scenes made the cut, too. Just two neurodivergent folk falling in love, nothing else to see here!
Takes ages for him to get comfortable with someone and trust them. The process is easier if, as mentioned before, he can relate to you in any way, if you’re open with him first, or if you’re in proximity. Eg, if you work in Shinra or SOLDIER, you mention your mum died, you say you like swords, you mention you like combat, etc etc. It can be something so small, but because he’s neurodivergent and has felt alone his whole life, he’ll latch on to it and that will be the starting point of the friendship/relationship developing. He needs an opportunity to get  closer to you, or else it will be difficult and near impossible.
He needs to feel in control or else he’ll spiral. I don’t mean in a toxic way, as in “you’re my friend/partner so you can never look at anyone and can’t have friends and blah blah blah”, I mean it as in he needs to constantly upkeep his professional demeanour and look like he has his shit together, even if he hasn’t slept for two days and has barely eaten and has been having panic attacks. He will slip, sometimes, maybe being a bit more snarky or moody than usual, or saying/revealing something he didn’t mean to, but ultimately he has control over every facet of his being. This makes him a very intentional person, too. He means everything he says, and sticks to his word. 
He loves routine, it keeps him grounded. But this means that he dislikes change and has a hard time dealing with it. It can be as little as Shinra changing the ingredients to his shampoo and conditioner, or to what happened to Genesis and Angeal in Crisis Core – change on any scale is overwhelming to Sephiroth.
Definitely not a love at first sight kind of guy. Even if you’re like, strikingly beautiful, everyone just is when he first meets them. You’re just a person (and this isn’t in a condescending way lol) like everyone else. He could only develop romantic feelings and love for someone after getting to know them. Then he starts to see you as beautiful and so much more. It’s really sweet.
If he ever developed feelings for anyone, he wouldn’t even know he was developing feelings for a good chunk of it lol. He’d think he was just fascinated by them. Eventually he’d realise, oh shit, do I…love this person? He’d start catching on once he starts thinking of them more often and seeking out their company, and eventually when he had the impulsive urge to kiss them, he’d realise he was in too deep.
Touch starved and also kind of touch repulsed. He’s a contradiction sometimes, and it confuses him.  He’s more touch starved than he is touch repulsed, but when you haven’t had ANY physical affection all your life, and all you know is war and death and being tested on, you of course are going to go into a bit of a shock if anyone touches you. He’s used to combat, to having his guard up and being skeptical. So if you happen to brush your shoulder accidentally against his, or your hand accidentally touches his, it sends a wave of electricity throughout his entire body, almost burning him on the inside. He wants to reach out, but he stops himself. Unsure why he wants to, why he likes it, and Sephiroth not knowing something means not having the upper hand and not having control, and that makes him disgusted and disappointed in himself. 
Physical affection (platonic, romantic, sexual) will take time. He needs to let his guard down to accept it and embrace it. If he trusts you, it will be easier, but still tedious. Once he gets there, even just by a little bit, you’ll see him start to initiate affection, and then once he is fully comfortable being with you, he is obsessed with it. He is always wanting to be in your presence, just like a cat. Even if you’re not doing anything, just being able to see you and be near you is enough and what he needs; this is partly to do with wanting to know you’re safe and worrying that something is going to happen, that something is going to change and he’ll lose everything. Like I said, he needs to be in control, and if he’s around, he can stop something from going wrong.
He comes to love physical affection, it is so so calming to him and comforting. Loves to hold you and smother you. Loves to smell your hair or the soap you used in the shower, he just loves the presence and feeling of you. Eventually he is very clingy and touchy with physical affection, and it’s one way he shows his complete love and devotion. Is a big fan of cuddling (he never calls it that though) and holding your hands–kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand, lightly caressing and dragging his fingers over all the lines and landscape of your hands. Also really loves resting his forehead against yours.
Due to his upbringing and the way he is, love is all-consuming for him. He loves to the point of obsession and even possibly madness. It takes over him. He would happily let it consume him like a wildfire. He would kill for it. I don’t mean this is an inherently toxic way either, BUT this can become very destructive, and if he happens to be so very unlucky and ends up with a person who doesn’t have good intentions, then it could definitely be a bad thing and end up destructive. Now, in the fanfic/fiction side of things, this is obviously very compelling and fascinating to read, and a love like what I described is quite romantic if it’s in a genuine, passionate and non-toxic way. But I just wanted to add that disclaimer that it can become quite the opposite of romantic and be destructive if it’s not a relationship that is trying to be healthy and trying to grow. I don’t mean it in the way that Sephiroth will become abusive, I just mean that he is obsessive naturally, and that can turn out to be a positive or a negative, depending on the situation. He can be a flame that is burnt out, or a flame that burns others. 
MORE SFW + non-SFW
He’s a virgin. I said this before and I stand by it. Has never kissed anyone, has never been touched–the man hasn’t even been hugged, damn it! 
I do think, realistically, if I wanted to be 100000% accurate, I’d consider him asexual and aromantic, especially after Crisis Core timeline, and if you wanted to see him as some narcissistic, entitled, eldritch-horror sort of villain, which he very much is tbh. BUT he is half-human (to me), and I don’t think it’s far-fetched at all to believe he has urges like everyone else. So, for me, I see it the same way as I do with how he’d fall in love with someone. I don’t think he could ever be sexually/physically attracted to someone unless he was close with them and trusted them. Once he develops feelings for you, then he’d start to immediately be sexually attracted to you. Before all that, you were just another person, you just are–your body is a body, it is functioning, it just is. But then, when he has feelings for you (and as I mentioned before, he doesn’t even understand until much later that he has feelings for you), suddenly your body…it takes his breath away. Your shoulders. Your chest. Your everything; it paralyses him, almost. You are a walking goddess/god to him, so beautiful and bright he is transfixed and can’t look anywhere but at you. Your face looks like it was sculpted by an artist that was gifted with magic from the Cetra. A rare beauty, one that he cannot put into words as it is a beauty so special and intricate that no human words can do any justice. When you look up at him, smile at him, he loses sense of time and place, nothing else exists outside of the small moment you are sharing, and he only sees you. The man is a poet at heart.
Since he is a virgin, and is so damn enthralled by you, he doesn’t really know how to act lol. He looks confident and like he’s in control, but he’s not, especially the first time you do anything. The first time you kiss, you’ll have to lean in first, or give him a sign you’re wanting him to kiss you. Honestly, you’ll probably have to tell him it’s okay to kiss you. It’s just a soft, chaste kiss at first. He’s never done this, remember. But like everything, he’s highly skilled and intelligent, and kissing is natural, so once he’s confident again it doesn’t take him long to get the hang of things. 
He has many kinds of kisses. Soft ones that last long without breaking away, reminders that he’s there and he isn’t going anywhere. Other kisses that are quick, multiple long pecks, that are to tell you you’re beautiful and he’s thinking of you and he’s grateful. Then there are the passionate ones, the ones where he throws in every desire and intense feeling he can’t ever comprehend or describe, where he’s losing himself in you–kissing you as if it’s all he knows, changing the rhythm and speed because he’s in the moment. It’s as if he can’t get any closer to you/can’t get enough. Sephiroth’s passionate kisses are exactly how he is–intense, skillful, intentional, and overwhelming. He kisses with the same skill and intent he uses to wield Masamune. 
Sexually repressed boy. Sex is extremely vulnerable, and he doesn’t understand or know how to express his sexuality. At first he’s afraid he’s going to hurt you. 
The first time he has sex, he is in awe and is so curious. He focuses more on you, ignoring himself, wanting to know every contour of your body. His hands are all over, eyes focused on you, trying to gauge every reaction so he can store it in his memory. He always cares more about your pleasure than his own, and he is genuinely turned on when you are. He is slow and gentle, taking his time, and he needs your instructions to figure out what to do. 
Once he is familiar with your body, and his own, he’s literally insatiable. He needs you, every day. And since he’s SOLDIER and not completely human, the man has stamina. Jesus christ. He could go for multiple rounds and he’s good to go even after he came. He knows he’s built differently though, like a fucking tank, and unless you’re into overstimulation, he’s perfectly happy with whatever you want. 
I think a relationship with Sephiroth, that eventually includes sex, will include a lot of exploration for you both. But especially with Sephiroth. He’s never been this vulnerable and open before, never really understood his sexuality and urges and was kind of disgusted in them. But I think he’d discover a lot about himself, and it surprises him just how much desire he really has.
Sex with Sephiroth is not just fucking. It can’t be. He couldn’t have sex with someone he didn’t trust and have strong feelings for. Sex is an act of love, an act of devotion and adoration, an opportunity to tell you without words just how much he’d do for you and how deeply he loves you. Just like when he kisses you, it’s like he can’t get close enough, and even though you’re pressed against each other he still needs to be closer. 
He really loves the feeling of your bare chest against his. It almost makes him primal. 
I think he’d be really into edging, and he’d have a praise kink. He’d want to be worshiped but would also be worshiping you. It would be two people literally feeding each other’s egos lmao. I also think, considering how much control and power he does truly have, he’d also be happy to relinquish it from time to time, and enjoy a partner who’s a bit domineering and bossy, and one that takes control. So if you want to push him down on the bed, ravish him and boss him around, and ride him till the sun sets, he’ll be more than delighted. 
Loves giving head. Yes, everyone likes receiving it, but when he gives head, it’s like he’ll never be able to do it again. He goes down on you as if it’s his last day on the planet. Absolutely devours you like Shinra has ordered him to. His tongue and jaw never get tired, by the way. 
Not very loud but he does get more vocal the more you have sex. Grunts a lot and has a very deep, guttural moan. 
He’s very attuned to the senses. Sound, smell, and touch turn him on so much, and have a significant effect on him. The sound of your voice can send him into a frenzied state, and even if it’s the middle of the day and he happens to smell your perfume or scent on his sheets or his clothes, he starts to go crazy. 
More often than not he has to tie up his hair every time you have sex or he goes down on you. It always gets in the way, and you do NOT want to find a long strand of his hair in between anywhere. 
I can’t decide on whether he has super sperm due to Jenova’s genes or if he’s infertile. Like it’s either one or the other to me and I feel like both make sense, but still can’t quite decide on one. He’d either be the type to have sperm so strong that even birth control couldn’t stop them, or he’d be infertile and no scientific method whatsoever could help. Who knows honestly.
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screamforyani · 1 year
Text
hazy
warnings: noncon, drugging
wc. 705
requested
every wednesday night, you studied at ethan’s house. 
you weren’t particularly close, if you were telling the truth. he was your classmate in econ that you sat beside and you kept each other sane for two whole hours straight, rarely ever speaking outside of that. 
that was until you decided to start studying together, of course. ethan was smart, you were pretty smart, and together you could probably pass the exam. at least, those were your intentions. ethan’s were far more malicious.
so when you woke up thursday morning feeling entirely discombobulated, you were a little bit - or a lot bit - lost.
“ethan?” you called out, scanning the room. 
it was definitely ethan’s. you were in his bed, for one. you saw your computer and bookbag laid across his desk, along with a half-drank glsss of water that you paid no mind to. you were looking for ethan. you managed to crane your head to the right - god, you felt so sluggish - and saw him peaking through the doorway. 
he flashed his teeth in a warm, innocent smile. “good morning. you passed out after a while last night. said something about feeling really tired so i let you take my bed and i slept on the couch. i hope that’s not weird or anything.”
“no - no, of course not,” you stammered, sitting up. “it’s fine. thank you.”
it was somewhat uncomfortable to move. you didn’t remember what happened last night, but your body sure did. you felt stupidly sore, slight ache spreading throughout your bottom half like wildfire. you couldn’t put your finger on it. maybe you slept in a really awkward position.
ethan seemed to notice your grimacing, donning a worried face. “what’s wrong? are you hurt?”
“i don’t know. i just feel… weird,” you replied, eyes flickering. you felt so out of it. there wasn’t really a way to explain it that made sense.
“weird how?” ethan asked, approaching you.
you shook your head, trying to remember. you remembered jotting down notes. and you remembered completely abandoning the notes to talk about movies with ethan. the rest of your memories were pretty vague until you couldn’t recall anything else at all. “like… sore. i feel like the morning after a marathon,” you joked, trying to lighten the air.
“do you need anything?” ethan questioned, rushing to your side. you could see his eyebrows furrow with concern, like he genuinely wanted to make sure that you were okay. so you fell for it. “something to eat, something to drink?”
“just some water, please.”
“you’ve got it,” he said, jogging out of the room.
you didn’t see his worried face fall and the smirk curling onto his lips when he turned the corner, thoughts of last night returning to him. you didn’t remember, but he would never forget. with how unresponsive you were, you might as well have been dead when he slipped your panties down to your ankles and forced himself deeply inside you, fucking you rough and hard.
maybe he should have been more gentle, but his lust got the best of him. he lost control of the reins, his body taking over - taking what it wanted. besides, it wasn’t all that bad that he’d gone rough on you. not for him, at least. he got to hear you tell him the effect he had on your body, how sore he made you feel even hours later.
god, could you even walk? he would love to see you limp around, obviously hurt. 
and he did get to see you limp around. even better, he got to help you walk, putting on his sweet facade because he loved how you would never suspect him. not the boy that was kind enough to be your human crutch. 
he remembered fucking you full of cum, time and time again until he started to wear himself out. then, cleaning you up and dressing you again, putting everything back in place. so when you got sick, pregnancy was your last guess. you thought you were just under the weather.
and of course, it was ethan who got you medicine and took care of you while you fretted about your sickness that would surely pass in a few days.
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tinkerbelle05 · 8 months
Note
friends to lovers with jaime reyes please? the movie had me in my feels fr ‼️
From Friends to Something More?
Characters: Jaime Reyes x Fem!reader
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: (Requested) thanks and same, I full on cried during the movie. After you experienced a bad break up, Jaime is there to pick up the pieces. 💙
Warnings: pinning, jealousy,
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-
All you wanted to was sink into your couch and continued shoving ice cream into your mouth.
Your long time boyfriend for 5 years decided to dump you, right out of the blue. And it was a simple text, cold and distant.
“We’re done,” the message read and he blocked you on everything.
You were shocked, confused, angry. But all you could feel was numbness. I mean, you two were going through a rough patch in your relationship but it was nothing you couldn’t handle.
Well, that’s what you thought at least. So for a day, you laid in bed, self pity fulling your body when you eventually stopped being numb. You had turned off your phone the night before.
Knowing yourself, you would’ve scrolled through your texts threads looking for any and all indicating that he was going to break up with you. Reading in between the lines, dissecting the words over and over again until you could’ve recite most of the messages.
It was getting ugly and unhealthy pretty fast so you decided to unplug for a bit, within the comfortable confines of your apartment. You didn’t feel strong enough to brave the outside yet.
You and your ex lived pretty close to each other, which once was a blessing now a curse.
You didn’t know where he could be out and about so you decided to take advantage of Grubhub and Instacart. You rarely used them because of their rather high prices but you’ll make an exception.
There’s a knock on your front door and you could only assume it’s the deliver person. You chose the option no contact because you looked like a mess with red, puffy eyes and let’s not even talk about the hair.
You opened the door, expecting to see groceries but you saw Jaime and groceries.
You hastily attempted to make yourself look somewhat presentable, “What…what are you doing here?”
He lets himself in your apartment, taking off his shoes and placing the bags on the coffee table.
“You haven’t been answering my phone calls or texts.” He turned around and dragged his hand through his hair, “I…I know you said you’ll offline but I was still worried for you. You just went dark outta the blue for weeks.”
“Well as you can see I’m alive and well,” you laughed bitterly and gestured to yourself.
“Well?” He chuckled softly.
You bark out a laugh—something you haven’t done in a while—and laid on the couch while Jaime packed away your groceries.
It was nice being with someone, especially with Jaime. You could never understand why but you just felt naturally at ease whenever Jaime was around. You needed your space but now you needed comfort.
“What do you want for dinner?” He asked.
“What’s in the fridge?” You responded.
While you bought groceries, well, there wasn’t many things that you could make with them. Well, things that any sane person would eat anyway.
“Okay, so pizza then?” He suggested and flopped on to the couch next to you.
From how close you two were, you could smell the aftershave he used this morning, it smelt good.
No, no. Jaime is your friend, friend only. Nothing more, nothing less.
You broke out of your thoughts by Jaime snapping his fingers in front of you. He looked mildly concerned.
“Are you okay?” He asked and turned his whole body to get a better look at you.
“Oh..yea, yea I’m good. But yea pizza sounds great. Cheese, please?”
He didn’t seem to believe you with the way he rolled his eyes however he let it go,”But aren’t you-“
You putted your finger to his mouth to shush him.
“It’s okay, I’ll be fine. Order please so it can come soon, and I won’t have to die of starvation,” you dramatically placed your arm over your eyes, which caused Jaime to laugh.
“Okay, okay. Just don’t go crying to me when your stomach starts to hurt,” he warned.
“My stomach doesn’t hurt that bad when I eat cheese,” you confidently dismissed him, knowing you were lying through your teeth.
Soon the pizza came, and you and Jaime were half way through the Fast & Furious franchise.
“They’re coming out with a new movie,” Jaime informed you, his head resting on the palm of his hand.
You turned to him in shock, “Really? They still making movies?”
Jaime chuckled softly and it’s music to your ears, “Yea, that’s what my mom said.” After a while there’s silence then, “She misses you. They all do.”
You sighed, “Yea I miss them too.”
I missed you too.
You wanted to desperately say that, to confess. It was hard to know if these feelings were romantic or platonic but you felt them deeply. And you were just dumped so maybe these feeling weren’t real at all. Your just lonely and that’s why these thoughts keep popping up in your brain.
That’s why your heart skips a beat whenever Jaime’s hand graced your leg.
That’s why you feel tongue tied when he laughs or looks at you with those gorgeous eyes.
That’s why-
“Are you sure your okay?” He asked again, looking more concerned than last time.
You nodded, “Of course I am.”
“If your gonna lie to my face, then at least learn to lie better,” he grumbled and moved slightly away for you. It was small but noticeable, and it hurted you.
“What’s your problem?” You asked with a glare on your face.
Jaime looked like he wanted to say something, like it was on the tip of his tongue but he shook his head and stayed quiet. The silence was loud and deafening.
You scooted closer on the couch to Jaime, the light from the tv lighting up the profile of his face, “Out with it. We both know that you wanna say it, so say it.”
He turned to face you, and that’s when you noticed how close you two were. Closer than you were before, but you didn’t let that distract you. You were on a mission.
He sighed, “It’s rude.”
You tilted your head, “And when has that every stopped you before?”
“I told you so,” was that left Jaime mouth. It was short, to the point but you understood.
You sighed and leaned your head against the couch, “Yea, I know.”
“So what did you even see in him?” Jaime asked.
I was tired of being lonely.
I was tired of longing.
I was tired of wanting something I couldn’t have.
You scratched the back of your neck, “Um it’s stupid and I wanna forget about him.”
Jaime nodded and cracked a smile, “Like it’ll be easy to forget him. Everything about him is unmemorable.”
You let out a low chuckle at his snide comment. Jaime never really liked your boyfriend, though he always kept his opinions to himself (or well attempted to anyway) and didn’t start anything.
A comfortable silence had formed between the two of you as you both watched the movie. You still were stealing quick glances at Jaime, wishing you had the courage to just say what you wanted.
Before you knew it, your head was on his and you were fast asleep. You didn’t see the soft smile on Jaime’s face when he looked down at you, how much love that was in his eyes.
Maybe the feelings you have for him, aren’t completely unrequited.
-
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