#*points at post* I'm a girl. It's my comfort gender :)
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I HAD A REVELATION
okay so I was thinking about gender. My gender. And my feelings about being a cis girl over time.
When I was little I used to wear all kinds of dresses and wore nail polish and even occasionally makeup (but like. Sloppily as a 7 year old would lol) and how overtime I stopped wearing nail polish and stopped wearing dresses and despised make up.
I dont really remeber why I stopped with nail polish. Maybe because it flaked off too easily or maybe I was sick of the few colors we had idk. I know I gradually stopped wearing dresses and night gowns because I was sick of being told I couldnt "put my legs up [up against the wall or just straight up in the air] or that I had to sit a certain way while wearing one. So I wore more and more pants.
I think about how i used to stand in the toys aisles while my mom did grocery shopping and look at "The Boys" section and think how much cooler it was than the girls section.
And I think about how my music teacher told us one day we'd hit puberty and we'd grow and us girls would be like "[in a high pitched voice] OH MY GOSH I LOVE BOYS AND DID YOU HEAR ABOUT SO AND SO" and I looked over at my classmates and friends to see if they were also terrified of becoming annoying teenage boy-obsessed girls.
And i think about how when I was at my friend's house and we were building "tree forts" in the woods i would wish I had a penis for the convenience of being able to just go pee behind a tree, because squatting near the ground was Not Fun and I hated walking all the way back to the house.
And I think about how I hated that I'd have to wear a bra once my boobs started to come in
Now you might be thinking. Friend I think you want[ed] to be a boy. But the thing is, i dont.
I may have hated being restricted in dresses but I dont actually hate them. I've gotten a couple dresses in the last 10 years (for prom and graduation and a [not my] wedding) and how I actually did like how I looked in them and enjoyed wearing them for that time.
I think about how I was jealous of the boys selection of toys, but also how I had a ton of barbies that I massively enjoyed and how if I'd been a boy I probably wouldnt have been able to enjoy them (thanks to pressure from society) as well as a bunch of other "girly" items and shows and movies.
I think about how I'm actually Asexual and that I wasnt scared of becoming "a young woman", I just didnt understand the obsession with sex/romance/boyfriend&girlfriend stuff.
And while having a penis is more convenient for peeing I also remeber thinking that it would suck to get kicked in the balls and/or that trope of falling on soemthign between your legs that happens in so many movies (not that it feels any better with a vagina honestly). And that if I had been born a boy I'd most likely have to deal with all the toxic masculinity forced on me, and I'm glad I dont have to deal with that.
And while me and my boobs dont always get along, I remember that after getting my first cute bra, I thought. Oh well maybe this isnt so bad. And I mostly wear sports bras now because I do wish they were smaller and I HATE that so many bras (EVEN THE SPORTS BRAS) are already padded into cup shapes, and while I don't mind Having Boobs, i Do Not want to show them off. And sometimes i think that maybe i wouldn't mind chopping them off, but then i think how my figure/outline/silhouette would look with out them, and that seems worse.
And i think about the times I've accidentally been called "Sir" from tired fast food employees when wearing gender nonspecific clothing and felt happy about it. But not "oh it feels right to be called sir/he/him" , but more of "hehe I fooled you! You thought this was a dress but its pants!"
And really this is all to say. I was born a girl and grew up that way so it's what I'm used to. If I'd been born with a dick then I guess I'd be a guy. If you magically stuck me in a male body right now, would I feel like a Guy or feel like a girl in a guys body? I honestly dont know. So am I non binary? Maybe that that doesnt quite feel right either.
Being a girl is what I've grown up as and into, and it's what I'm used to and going by anything else is… odd. Maybe itd be better and maybe it wouldnt. It's like an old blanket. You've had it forever and maybe its frayed and patched maybe a little too small and it's not what people expect you to have for a blanket, and maybe you could do with a new one. But nothing feels right with out it. No other blanket feels the same. It's what you're used to and its familar. It's a comfort blanket.
And that's why being a [cis] girl is my comfort gender.
#Sorry that got LONG#This is a very personal post and I dont mind it being reblogged if anyone wants to#But dont be weird about it please. Dont tell me I'm an egg or actually trans or nb. Cause I'm not#*points at post* I'm a girl. It's my comfort gender :)#(edit: I don't mind if the 'wrong' pronouns get used. Like if someone uses he or they for me I'm not gonna be upset#I more just dont want labels put on my gender besides cis or comfort gender )#Man I need that post where it's like so many asexual people are removed from gender. Cause yeah that kinda fits#Maybe I'm agender or soemthing. But mostly I'm Chill With Being A Girl#Also feel free to also totally ignore this post#I'm just rambling about thoughts#Gender identity#Comfort gender#Its after midnight so I apologize if none of this makes sense or like. There are unfinished thoughts lol
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First Years Finding Out Your A Girl?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)
TW: Mild swearing, STRICTLY Female Reader, Discussion of Jack having a good sniffer (lol)
Info: Headcannons; Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel x Reader (platonic); Mostly for fun
🍓Hi. I'm back... sorta. I didn't have much time to write over the summer, and I honestly don't know how much I can write during school cause my schedule is... yikes. But I picked up something I wrote a while ago, edited it, and decided to post it. I'll be answering whatever's in my ask box right now, and then maybe work on some other stuff.
Ortho & Sebek
Second Years
Third Years
Dorm Leaders
-Okay so, I know we’re all wondering, how the hell do you get away with hiding your gender for so damn long?
-Firstly, those ceremonial robes do great at hiding the figure. The only tell would maybe be your hair, but feminine men aren’t unwelcome at Nightraven College, so you mostly get a few questioning stares and that’s it.
-Secondly, Crowley wants to save his own fucking ass. He already has to hide from the press that he has a MAGICLESS student from ANOTHER DIMENSION here, he doesn’t need the fact that you are a woman ALSO on his plate. So, obviously, he helps you hide your gender from others.
-Grim knows, of course, and he keeps his mouth shut for a few yummy cans of tuna (and threats of being expelled from Crowley <3)
-Even when you were just a janitor, he couldn’t have the rumor that he put a “helpless” young woman to work. (Like it wouldn’t be expected.)
-So how do you two do it?
-Baggy ass uniform. Crowley gave you at least three sizes too big.
-Your figure is completely hidden. Sure, you look completely homeless, but at least you’re hidden.
-For your voice, you simply deepen it. After some point, you blackmail Crowley into giving you a potion to help with it, since it's so taxing on your voice. (Or maybe your voice is naturally deep!)
-Sam provides you (for an unfairly pretty penny (not too different from your original world…)) any feminine hygiene products you might need.
-Honestly, you’re set for being cared for, but it’s the adjustment period that’s the hardest part.
-Truly, it’s very jarring to suddenly be thrown into both a magical world and be isolated in a man's world with nowhere to hide.
-At least in your world you had other women who could understand your struggles. Here though? You’re completely alone.
-You notice how… messy some of these guys could be. How some of them smell… really rancid. -How rough they were with you and each other.
-Honestly, it’s kinda eye-opening. The way men show affection to each other is oddly refreshing to watch and experience!
-Ace and Deuce specifically are a good��� trial run.
-That’s not what we’re here to talk about though…
-For the most part, it's incredibly easy to hide yourself for the first while on campus. Everyone on campus is so self-absorbed that they don’t bother questioning you.
-Your only real risk factor is Savannaclaw, but it's easy to avoid those guys (minus Jack, of course, but we’ll get to him).
-However, you can only hide your gender for so long… It’s mentally draining to keep up this facade all the time around people you care about.
-So… how do they find out?
FIRST-YEAR SQUAD
Ace
-He’s one of the first ones who find it out, and it’s in the very cliche anime way.
-After some point of knowing you, Ace is so comfortable that he just invites himself into ramshackle.
-It’s never been an issue or anything. You’re thick as thieves now, you’ve survived death together a handful of times. If you ask Ace, that’s about as close as you can get with someone.
-Normally, you and Grim are just sitting around in the living area, but this time you aren’t. However, he does hear voices coming from your room. His curiosity is peaked.
-So, slippery guy that he is, he sneaks up to your room and his curiosity only grows when he hears a woman’s voice. Prefect getting lucky? And he didn’t tell him? Ace thought you guys were friends.
-He creeps up to your room, slides open your door, and!!! Holy shit it’s you. It’s you in a towel. It’s you and you’ve got tits?!?!
-His first reaction is to… well… scream.
-“You’re a girl?!?”
“Why are you in my room???”
“You’ve got- boobs!”
“Get out Ace!”
-Bro sits very politely and very quietly on your couch after that. Deep behind his blank stare, he is seething. You were a girl this whole time, and you didn’t tell him! He thought you guys were friends!
-He definitely fights you about it once you’re down and dressed. He’s just salty, he’ll get over it.
-Swears up and down he won’t tell anyone.
-Immediately tells Deuce.
-That's it though! Deuce is part of the main quartet, he deserves to know! (You scold him for this too, but you figured it would happen one way or another).
-From him finding out, he doesn’t really treat you differently. You’re still a person, why should he act differently cause you’ve got different body parts than him.
-Though, and he won’t admit this, he’s a bit more… watchful of the others around you. Yeah, you can hold your own and he respects you… but guys like Azul exist, and he’s seen firsthand the torture Azul is capable of.
Deuce
-As stated before, Ace outs you to Deuce almost immediately after finding out.
-Deuce, in all his awkward glory, completely shuts down. Disconnects from this plane of existence. He cannot believe the news he was just told.
-You, one of his best friends in all of twisted wonderland. You, the person who survived multiple overblots alongside him. You, who have seen him at his most vulnerable… are a girl.
-It isn’t even the fact that you’re a girl, it’s the fact that you kept this a secret from him for so long. You guys are… bros… how could you possibly hide something so important from him. Did you not trust him?
-Yeah… he overthinks things quite a bit.
-He also ambushes you the very next day with a million questions (very loudly (very in public)), to which you calm him down and reassure him that “No, Deuce, I don’t suddenly hate you. I wasn’t hiding it from you maliciously. I was going to tell you at some point, I just hadn’t had a good time to.”
-Deuce’s behavior definitely… changes… in some ways.
-Deep down he knows you’re a kick-ass bitch and you don’t need to be cared for, but he can’t help but want to.
-It’s definitely his mommy issues in play here.
-He just becomes more… protective and aware around you. Not in a creepy obsessive way, just in the same way a guard dog would.
-Like Ace, he’s more than aware of what the people on this campus are capable of, and you’re completely magicless on top of being more feminine. Some guys at NRC would hop on an opportunity like that like nothing.
-He just doesn’t want to see his friends getting hurt okay :(
-It’s like you gained an overprotective older brother who also sometimes barks!
Jack
-Out of everyone, Jack was the first to find out.
-I don’t wanna be the cliche writer but… he’s got a sniffer on him.
-He definitely could smell that something was up, but he didn’t want to assume!
-You could be trans, you could be genderfluid, you could be anything other than a woman! It’s not his place to judge, and smell isn’t always the end all be all. You could just really smell feminine and that's how guys come in your world.
-Mr. Respectful would never want to assume anything… but he’s a little curious he won’t lie.
-Jack REALLY found out shortly after Ace, Deuce and Grim got their asses in trouble with Azul.
-He’d never been given a reason to spend any more than a few minutes around you at a time. However, since he got pulled into this mess, he’s spent a lot more time with you.
-It happened when he was forced to hide under the desk in his office.
-You were so close and you just… smelled like a girl.
-He is so polite and so upstanding, he would NEVER ask you directly. But the suspense of not knowing really does take a number on him.
-By the end of Azul’s overblotting he is so awkward and nervous around you, that you absolutely have to say something.
-At this point, you figured most of the beastmen had an idea of you being feminine, however, you had no real confirmation of that.
-Jack is such a “let's not bother other people” kind of guy, that you knew he wouldn’t want to say anything to you if you knew… so you decided to take the plunge.
-At the museum, you pull him aside and you have to ask.
_”Jack?”
“Hm?”
“You know, don’t you?”
“…”
“I figured as much. Don’t tell anyone, m’kay? I want to tell my friends on my terms.”
-It makes Jack respect you more than he already did. Not only did you have the confidence to confront him, but you did it calmly and you were understanding of his position.
-And honestly? Not much changes between the two of you.
-He just respects you a little more. He’s not particularly protective around most other students, he talks to you the same, and he doesn’t act like you’re special. You’re just… a friend.
-The only thing that he may be different about is other beastmen. He does his best to shield you from them if he feels they might be a threat to your well-being.
Epel
-Epel, being a more feminine-looking man himself… doesn’t think much of you.
-At this point, you’re well acclimated to things at nightraven college, and are very good at being “one of the boys.”
-His ONLY implication is how… differently Rook and Kalim treat you.
-At this point, Kalim has found out via the previous chapter, and Rook knows because of course he does. (We won’t be getting into that today though)
-They both are more… delicate with you? Rook whips out the charm times ten when you’re around. Kalim, although friendly with everyone, seems to be even MORE friendly when you’re around. Like he wants you to like him.
-Even Deuce and Ace have a few… odd tells.
-They both pointedly ensure Jamil is at least five feet away from you at all times. Glare at Rook when he’s a little too charming.
-Other than that, nothing really gives it away.
-Epel is completely and totally in the dark because you’re really good at hiding that you’re a woman.
-He does, however, eventually find out because… Deuce slips up. He’s there giving his big speech on the beach, hyping Epel up, and somehow he manages, “And the prefect is a woman, but she never lets that get in her way!”
-Epel: Shocked, confused, in awe… says nothing. He lets the information ruminate.
-He lets it ruminate for a very long time.
-So long, in fact, that he doesn’t raise his suspicions until the two of you are on a broom heading off to save Vil’s life.
-The silence was killing him, so he had to ask.
-“Prefect, are you a girl?”
“You didn’t know?”
“I couldn’t be sure, I look like a girl too, so you never know.”
“Yes, Epel, I’m a girl.”
“…Cool.”
-Honestly, he’s kind of jealous of you. You passed better than him, and you had to try harder.
-It doesn’t change how he treats you, honestly. He’s not that kind of country bumpkin, but he won’t lie and say he doesn’t have a little resentment held against you.
-He thinks you’re cool as hell, and you help redefine what femininity can look like to him much better than what Vil does.
-He, however, does actively become more protective of you.
-Not because he thinks you can’t fend for yourself, but because he kinda wants to show off a little.
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#ace trappola#ace tr#deuce spade#deuce spade x reader#jack howl#jack howl x reader#epel felmier#epel felmier x reader#x reader#bunni's treats 🧁
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going to format this like a reddit post because it’s the only way. i (transmasc) don’t know if i’m sexually attracted to the girl (transfem) im having sex with. i’ve known for a while that i’m asexual and fuck for fun, and when i see my friend who i’m fucking, i don’t have any immediate overwhelming desire to have sex with her, unless we’re like, in the moment yknow? like i totally forget that it’s even an option bc i could just sit there and talk to her for hours as my friend bc i love (platonic) her dearly and we have a lot of stuff in common. my only quip is that like, is that sexual attraction ???? being in her bed and having our hands on each other and kinda feeling it then? but not at other times? is sexual attraction constant?? maybe im bisexual and aromantic. or maybe i’m regular bisexual and i just dont like romantic relationships. makenzie why are human minds so goddamn difficult to parse the emotions of? i want to be her friend but im confused by my emotions towards her. how am i consistently having sex with someone im not literally sexually attracted to? and liking it? i mean that kinda has to be sexual attraction right? idk. help girl (gender neutral)
hi anon,
have a seat. drink some water. take a deep breath. we're wildly overthinking this.
what you call yourself - asexual, aro bi, bi but not into romance, whatever - that doesn't actually matter.
here are the things I'm worried about here: are you feeling at all pressured or coerced here? given the choice would you want to stop having sex with this person? do you feel comfortable setting boundaries and saying no when you have sex? you don't need to be overcome with raw sexual yearning for your sexual buddy, but do you enjoy and look forward to having sex with her? is this a positive experience for you?
it's fine to have sex even if you don't walk around thinking about it drooling like a horny cartoon wolf, whether it's because you're asexual or just allosexual without a particularly vigorous sex drive. (the line between those things can be pretty blurry and is pretty up to you to define, by the way.) sex can be fun and feel great; it's fine to want to do that even if you don't have a longing in your loins for it.
think of it this way? I don't particularly like most vegetables, but I like how my body will feel when I eat them, so I make a point of doing that as much as I can. and when I cook them they'll usually come out pretty tasty, and I'll enjoy or at least fell neutral about them. and still doesn't mean I like vegetables, or at least I don't particularly identify as someone who likes vegetables, but I did. eat those vegetables.
the sex is vegetables.
I can't tell you if this is sexual attraction. but also it doesn't matter very much as long as you're being safe and having fun.
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since we're being semi soft today.... do u have any fluffy thoughts on any of the marley boys ?
🙊 i'm answering this out of order from the requests in my inbox because i was HOPING someone would ask this after i posted the fluffy thoughts on the other boys -- so thank you for this 🥰
╰┈➤ fluffy headcanons pt. 2 - aot.
ft. colt, reiner, porco, zeke.
cw. gender neutral reader
⋙ colt grice.
colt coaches falco's soccer team. he gets up early in the morning, dressed in a fleece half-zip with some gloves to set up pylons on the field for the kids' drills. he knows every kid by name and doesn't give any special attention to falco just because he's his brother -- parents love him. doesn't notice that some of the younger moms are hitting on him until you point it out, and then he gets awkward and flustered every time he sees them.
please just picture this man with little pink-flushed cheeks from the early september chill, blowing steam into his hands to keep them warm. he's calling out encouragements to all the kids as they run back and forth on the field -- always praise, because they're just kids and this is only for fun. he looks back at stands and just beams at you, excited that you were willing to get up so early just to watch him coach a bunch of little kids
idk why, but in my head, colt is not funny 💀 like he just doesn't understand comedic timing and isn't quite a quick or sharp as some of the other boys, but he appreciates every single one of your jokes!! he absolutely kills himself laughing every time you make a joke and he gets so excited about them that he'll tell other people your jokes (poorly 😭) but be laughing so hard they don't even understand him
ALWAYS kisses you and tells you that he loves you when he says goodbye. it's something that he does with falco already (that falco hates, btw), and one day it just slipped with you like "mwah! love you, bye!" and he goes beet red in embarrassment when he realizes, but you quickly kiss him back and now you do it every day 🥺
⋙ reiner braun.
this man only knows angst i think reiner really cherishes quiet moments of intimacy with you. like driving in the car with your hand laced in his, or having a nice meal at home that the two of you cooked together. it means a lot more to him if you show him that you love him through small gestures, instead of telling him.
he looooooooves head massages. he'll sit on the floor between your legs on the couch while the two of you watch tv so you can run your fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp. guy is vocal about it too, groaning and moaning when you rub his temples. 💀 and his knees go absolutely weak whenever you scratch his head
he has a really hard time falling asleep when he's alone 🥺 he gets really anxious at night sometimes, so if the two of you are apart he hardly gets any sleep at all -- but when you're in bed with him, this guy falls asleep the second his head hits the pillow. he feels so safe and comfortable with you that it helps ease some of his worries just knowing that you're beside him.
if you roll away from him in bed when the two of you are sleeping together, guaranteed in a sleepy haze, this man is grabbing at the bed trying to find you again. the second his hand rests on your body, he hooks his arm around your waist and pulls you tight against his chest -- sighing into your shoulder and sleepily kissing your neck. when you tell him about it the next day, he says he doesn't even remember doing it 😭
⋙ porco galliard.
porco is perpetually grumpy and bratty, except for when it comes to you. this man literally will talk to you in a baby voice when the two of you are alone together 💀 if you've ever seen those tiktoks where the girl calls her bf and makes him do the baby voice when he's with their friends -- that's porco.
like "babyyyy, i'm weawy hungee, can you make me a snack?" and he's looking up at you with big dumb eyes and a little pout while he rubs his belly. lowkey kinda cringe but the shift between his baby voice when he's alone with you and his normal voice when he's with the boys is just too funny 💀
also -- loves snacks. has a stash of chips and cookies and treats in the cupboard because he's always munching on something. if you're cooking dinner for him, he'll take a snack tax and munch on one of the foods you're prepping for dinner. you always tell him he's going to spoil his appetite, but he hasn't yet!
LOVES GOSSIP!! when the two of you are out with your friends and one of them says some out-of-pocket shit, you see porco in the corner of your eye looking at you like 👀 and you just KNOW he's going to talk about it on the car on the way home. in fact -- when the two of you go on road trips together, you don't even listen to any music. you just spend the entire time filling each other in with drama at work/school/etc. and gossiping about how other people's relationships aren't as good as yours 💀
⋙ zeke jaeger.
zeke is in his early thirties but he acts like an old man. whenever he gets up from sitting down he's pushing himself up with his hands and groaning. cracking his back with a loud moan. sighing heavily and collapsing into the couch like 💀
really into grilling? like spent a bunch of money on a fancy grill and now will take any excuse to have people over for a barbeque. he's got an apron that says something dumb like "women love me, fish fear me". you guys will be having a bbq and he's standing by the grill, watching the meat, with a pair of dark rayban sunglasses and a beer in his hand.
loves feeding you. like physically feeding you. like, if he wants you to try something that he cooked, he'll hold it in his fingers and get you to open his mouth for him 💀 he sets a little piece of cookie down on your tongue or between your teeth, and watch you expectantly as you chew it and tell him your opinion
loves building things, too. like you'll mention offhand that you think it'd be nice to have a garden and the next weekend he's coming home with planks of wood and building you raised garden beds 🥺 you don't even have to ask, he's just like "she wants a garden? ok, i'm on it!" and he immediately gets to work.
#reiner#porco#zeke#colt#zeke jaeger#colt grice#porco galliard#reiner braun#zeke jaeger x reader#colt grice x reader#porco galliard x reader#reiner braun x reader#aot headcanons#i really struggled w zeke#because in my head he's a major asshole#but assholes can be fluffy and cute too#sometimes#tiff.fic#tiff.ask#moot.kreideprinzstudies#colt.hc#reiner.hc#porco.hc#zeke.hc
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a love letter to trans romance
because i can't be normal about media and i'm making it y'all's problems
hi hello and welcome to my mildly unhinged ramblings about love and gender. this post comes to you in three sections, enjoy <3
--
t4t romance novels made me believe in love again
the first romance book i ever read was The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver. TFOFIL is a t4t (trans for trans) romance that follows a teenage trans boy, Neil Kearney, and a figuring-out-their-gender teen, Wyatt Fowler, as they get themselves wrapped up in peak YA romcom shenaniganary and eventually fall in love. cute, right? just a fun little romcom, not much more to it?
yeah well that's what i thought going in, but coming out of that book i was in tears. tears because i'd never read a story about trans love before. tears because at that point in my life i'd never allowed myself to fully claim the word "trans." tears because Wyatt made me feel so seen and so real.
there's this one scene where Wyatt is talking to Neil and they describe themself as being the kind of person who sometimes wants to wear makeup and dresses, but other times they like their body hair and scruffy beard. and i just remember nodding along and then absolutely melting because Neil takes it in stride, he comforts Wyatt and let's them know that they don't need to have it figured out just yet. Neil makes it clear that he's there, and that Wyatt doesn't need to come out to anyone unless they're ready.
Mason Deaver has another t4t romance, Okay, Cupid. and that similarly had me in my feels because there is something so special about finding people who embrace you for all that you are.
every t4t romance I've read has one thing in common, the fact that the love interests do not love each despite the other's transness. their transness is not an obstacle to love or to attraction or to adoration, it is an object of it. their transness is something to be admired and to be loved and to be cared for. it is not something the other has to "get over."
reading The Feeling of Falling in Love was the first time i ever thought to myself "maybe, just maybe, i can call myself trans and still be loved." because up until that point i hadn't let myself accept that i was some flavor of trans. up until that point i'd said "not cis" without ever saying trans because i was so scared my being trans would make me unlovable. t4t romance books showed me how wrong i was. they showed me that my ability to be loved was not dependent on my girlhood.
ha you thought i could write something this long on tumblr and NOT mention good omens? think again bestie
i have held a trans reading of crowley since i read the book and the show only solidified it for me. crowley canonically plays with gender.
he's dressed femme during the crucifixion scene, his modern look is a mix of men's and women's pieces, his hair is a Whole Thing in and of itself. i could go on but i digress.
but it's not just the way he plays with gender that informs my trans reading of him. it's also how his character arc can very easily be read as an allegory for transness.
an angel who falls (a girl who isn't a girl anymore)
a fallen angel turned demon (a girl who is a boy now)
a demon who isn't really a demon anymore (a used to be girl, a thought to be boy, is now nonbinary)
girl = angel and boy = demon is entirely arbitrary in this please don't read into it
now, you may be thinking "A how in god's name does this apply to trans romance?" to which i say, aziraphale falls in love with every version of crowley. aziraphale beams heart eyes at angel!crowley before the beginning and loves crowley as a demon for millennia and is so deeply and unabashedly in love with crowley in his not-quite-demon form of s2.
aziraphale loves all the versions of crowley because crowley's angel or demon-ness (gender) is not the reason aziraphale loves crowley. aziraphale doesn't love crowley because he's a demon or because he used to be an angel, aziraphale loves crowley because it's crowley. crowley in whatever clothes he chooses to where, crowley with whatever hairstyle he's fancying at the moment, crowley as he inhabits the shades of grey just a little more.
to me, that is so easy to read as a trans love story. you could argue it's t4t depending on how you read aziraphale, but to me, it's at the very least a love story between a mostly-demon who gets down to some gender fuckery and an angel who loves him very much.
fuck it let's talk about fanfiction
i don't think i could make this post without mentioning @ineffabildaddy's fic I'm Beginning to See the Light.
i have a complicated relationship with my body. i don't plan to ever medically transition because i don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. but there are days where all i want is to have a flat chest and hips that are flush with the rest of my body but instead i'm stuck with tits and an hourglass figure cis people always seem to focus on.
i don't hate my body, but the idea that anyone could look at it and not just see A Woman is beyond me. i walk through life being perceived as a very feminine woman even on the days that i feel the most androgynous. the idea that a lover could look at my body and still see me for who i am feels like a dream that could never happen.
and IBTSTL slapped me (lovingly) across the face with the message that, actually, i can be loved as my whole self and that there are people out there who don't look at me and see A Woman and those people don't love me any less. IBTSTL made me feel safe in my trans body because it said "you are worthy of love and adoration because your transness is not something to get past it is something to admire. it is something to love."
--
i think the point i'm trying to make here is this: trans love stories are so special to me. they've been so vital in my own journey to love and accept myself. they're the reason i can imagine myself maybe having romantic love in the future.
representation matters, it can quite literally change your life.
#well wasn't that fun?#now excuse me while i go hide from the internet because my feelings are being perceived#anyway#trans love everything!#good omens#trans books#t4t romance#trans
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Spotify ask game for writers you say? Alright: 16, 27, and 48
Thank you :3
16. Opinions - Blind Channel
Okay I have a few ideas sooo... Could maybe be about bullying and then set in a high school/college/university setting bc yk people having opinions about one of the guys and yeah kinda dragging him down with that
Drama because maybe two of the guys are in a relationship and either they make it public because they're tired of keeping it a secret but things don't go as planned at all and they get a lot of criticism and hate from newspapers and stuff OR it's a secret relationship and people start rumors about it and share their opinions on it without being asked OR there is no relationship going on but because they are the way they are and super comfortable around each other people start to talk and one thing leads to another
27. Emo girl - mgk
Honestly this is super hard because it already has a "gender" in the title and it's not the one I'd usually go for when writing bc 😅
Maybe genderbent with one of the bc guys and it's probably rather set in a teenage situation and they are going through their "phase" and have to deal with the reactions people have about you as soon as you look a certain way and whatnot but maybe then they meet one of the other guys (probably with their "normal" gender) at a concert or something and idk...i guess realize they aren't alone and there are others around that are the same and feel the same??
48. Fever - Blind Channel
Could go with a classic sick fic of course 😌
Alternatively to quote Shakespeare: “my love is as a fever (longing still)” and it could maybe be an unhealthy lovestory where one of the guys involved gets too caught up in it (and the other doesn't care as much) or maybe it's this almost obsessive love (not healthy either ofc) which could lead to different kinds of drama and/or angst 🤔 i think you get the point without me going into further detail ^^"
I feel like all of these are terrible and I'm sorry :') I'm in a bit of a rush because I accidentally posted this before it was finished and now I need to finish it asap and while I'm at it I'm also coughing up my lung which is... Fun 🙃😅
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What do you think of the trio's post-canon careers? Because recently, something that has really captured my imagination has been the idea of healer Ron.
The profession, of course, most often crops up in Dramione fic where Hermione has taken up at St. Mungo's (laughable-- this is a girl who needed Harry to unstopper the dittany because her hands were shaking so bad, and frankly, I shudder to think of her bedside manner) but it is predictably absent when veering off the canon course with Ron. This is such a shame because his willow wand is outright good for healing magic (and it is a fairly uncommon combination that he has! The only other person with a willow and unicorn wand, fascinatingly enough, is Lily Potter.)
Ron is also the only person who's canonically interested in healing as a profession (he's immersed in the leaflet for it at breakfast.) He remembers the spattergroit incident from OOTP and then uses it as a cover story in DH. In Half-blood Prince, he takes the exact same classes Harry does, which means he has the grades required to go into auror training, yes, but they are coincidentally the same requirements a student needs to meet in order to apply to be a healer. (On that note: Ron and Harry were clearly high academic achievers and the fanon assertion otherwise needs to be beat back with hammers.)
But the reason why I think healer ron would've been a cracker of a route to go down is just how refreshing it would've been. The Girl of the team, the gang, the trio, being the Healer and Caretaker is such a TRITE trope at this point. DADA Professor Harry is a classic, but this is my case for Healer Ron deserving to be up there. Send his ass back to Hogwarts again if you have to (Hermione will definitely be pleased). Have him intern with Madam Pomfrey for a year and then grumble behind Neville while he takes notes on medicinal herbs. Healer Weasley, who's a big hit in the paediatrics ward because he makes the kids laugh. Who flirts with the oldies and plays chess with the curmudgeons. Who just cares, more than anything, and will bring you a cup of tea no matter the hour, no questions asked. I really do think he's got the disposition for it. What do you reckon?
thank you very much for the ask, anon!
i am immediately compelled by the concept of ron-versus-wizarding-medicine. because, certainly, i never see him as someone who stays in the auror office long-term - i think it makes sense for him immediately post-war, especially when he will undoubtedly just want to keep busy and hunt down baddies as a reaction to fred's death, but i think he only stays in the role after this initial burst of vengeance until he feels comfortably leaving harry in a high-risk situation on his own.
because, of course, ron's vibe with everything he touches in canon is influenced by the fact that he's someone predisposed to being caring [right down, as you say, to his wand]. the bit in prisoner of azkaban when he offers to make a cup of tea while hagrid's in hysterics about buckbeak's death sentence is something i find genuinely lovely, for example, and i do think - as you note - that there's something really striking about ron occupying that caring role within the trio which a fanon deviation to trite gender dynamics in which men are stupid and women are nurturing undermines in a supremely tedious way.
i'm not sure, though, that i would back ron in any specialism of healing that could be classed as emergency medicine - he has the vibe of, and i mean this with great affection, the sort of surgeon who habitually leaves sponges behind in patients - but i would back him in specialisms which need to be a bit more holistic or slower in pace. his chess skills - and his good intuition - suggest to me that he'd be a pretty effective diagnostician, and i obviously think he'd have a great bedside manner.
healer ron, then, is going to be at his best, absolutely, in something like paediatrics, which means that i'm going to take your suggestion about him interning with madam pomfrey and run with it to say that ron as hogwarts matron [or whatever the non-gendered version of that term would be] is his ideal career.
think about it! the work's varied and sometimes complicated, but it's not too high-pressure because really serious cases will be sent to st mungo's. the work will frequently relate to things that ron is interested in, like quidditch. and the work will frequently require ron's key talent - being sound - to shine. this is a man who would do an excellent job, i think, of handling mishaps caused by teenagers trying to hex their own acne off, or offering tea and sympathy to the homesick or the recently dumped. i think he'd do a great sex-ed presentation, would manage to charm honeydukes into giving the school its medicinal chocolate at a huge discount, and would be considered a huge legend by the student body for always being willing to certify to the teachers that someone who used a puking pastille to get out of class was actually sick.
as for the other two, i much prefer hermione as a barrister than as a civil-servant - not just because of her temperament but because i think the change she wants to bring to wizarding society is going to be won primarily by her slapping on a wig and gown and being condescending to witnesses.
as for harry, i like to stick to him as an auror. while i have some exceptions, i'm actually really not fond at all of professor potter as a trope - and, even more controversially, i really don't like the concept of professor riddle - largely because teaching is far too sedate for someone who runs on adrenaline as much as harry does.
and - i must be honest - i think the idea of harry as a teacher [or a healer or a quidditch player] often hangs on people feeling uncomfortable with the idea of him as, to all intents and purposes, a police officer. but i quite like taking that in the opposite direction, and playing with harry's canonically black-and-white morality and capacity for self-righteousness to have him - while not a corrupt or sadistic auror - a complacent one. i like the idea of him as someone who thinks that he always applies the law justly and so the law is therefore just, and so on - and the fact that this would allow him to overlook his own childhood lawbreaking is part of that...
#asks answered#asenora meta#golden trio#ron weasley#harry potter#hermione granger#ron would be beloved by all nurses and that tells you all you need to know
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Macaque x Reader - Silly Vallentine
Promotional Disclaimer: This chapter is being posted here to promote the whole work on AO3! To read more chapters, go to the AO3 link, in fact, the new chapters will be posted there first!
✐ 1 Chapter summary: Overcome by boredom, Macaque goes for a walk on Valentine's Day and finds you.
An event that turns out to be more amusing than expected.
✐ Category: Fluff; Hurt/Comfort; Cute; Slow Burn; Slow Romance; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Reader-Insert; Touch-Starved; Cuddling & Snuggling; Foreign Reader; Gender-Neutral Pronouns; Humor; Mythology References; Not Beta Read.
Trigger Warning (for the whole work, not this chapter in particular): Angst; Blood and Violence; Trust Issues; Self-Esteem Issues; Self-Worth Issues; lots of issues; Xenophobia; Trauma; Swearing; Emotional Baggage; Emotional Hurt.
-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-✐-☾-
Chapter 1 - Valentine
This kind of celebration usually doesn't matter much to warriors dedicated only to fighting and revenge, there's no time to meet new people and to love if you're busy going after a hated acquaintance.
But that doesn't mean boredom can't knock on these people's doors.
A powerful monkey demon walks through a large city disguised as an ordinary human. The monotony of his hiding place had ended up irritating him, resulting in a stroll during "lovers day".
The tedium was enormous to make someone so reclusive go out on a day like this. Streets are full of commemorative decorations, mainly pink heart-shaped ornaments, and serenades with sweet music can be heard everywhere, even the sky looked rosier than usual, however what occupies the surroundings more than the color pink are couples laughing.
Couples that make you want to throw up for being so clingy, many of them look like exaggerated caricatures of what a happy pair would look like. The demon even rolled his eyes when he heard some phrases from the loose lovebirds, sometimes having a good hearing is a nightmare.
"I'm scared, honey, what if I don't like the people at the party?" - A short girl passes by the monkey.
"Calm down, if you get nervous, we'll just get out of there. Trust me, we're in this together." - The other girl takes one of her partner's shoulders and speaks in a sweet, calm voice.
He stops in place, for a brief moment.
... Yeah, even though the concept of clingy couples was a little annoying, there was a part of him that held a certain... Interest.
The idea of having someone who cares about your emotional and physical state, the idea of being appreciated, someone to give you attention and affection, someone to trust, all of this was somehow pleasant to imagine. A part of him really craved someone he could actually count on, someone that would actually choose to stay with him.
The warrior shook his head to get that unimportant feeling out of there. Is the holiday making him emotional? This is so pathetic. Like, come on, he had more fun things to do than that!
The biggest fun of being on the streets today is watching couples break up. Or to see people rejecting each other. Dramatic love situations filled with people with broken hearts, looking like over-the-top soap operas in real life. That was pure entertainment.
A rattling bell and the sound of hard material hitting the wall shows that someone has opened a door not far away with incredible brute force, the door in question being the door of a luxuriant restaurant.
"Wait! Come back! What did I do wrong, my little pudding?!" - A man cried while trying to reach a woman in a fancy dress.
"I've already made it clear to you that I hate it when you call me that. What were you thinking, showing up dressed like that in front of my entire family?" - She pointed with her index finger at the clown nose the man had on his face.
"I-I wanted to make your family have fun."
"You made everyone laugh at me! Laugh at us. You made me look like an idiot!"
Ooh, this was a good drama, an argument for a ridiculous reason. This gives a bunch of inspiration to an artist, stupid story scenarios becomes the perfect reference to fun scenes. The beauty and the clown, yeah, this could be the theme of a shadow play, a funny one. A few laughs escaped the demon's lips, so much suffering for such a stupid reason was a special comedy to watch.
Unfortunately for him, the pairing didn't take long to reconcile, returning to the restaurant's interior happily and holding hands.
He rolled his eyes at the scene, boredom returned and, so did his quest for entertainment. Maybe looking for fun outside the hideout wasn't such a good idea at all.
He looked at the restaurant through the front window, taking off his hood of his head, so it wouldn't get in the way of the view, inside there were several couples eating fancy dishes that looked delicious...
Ah yes, the second reason to go out today, the food.
The dishes had too many heart decorations for the Six Eared Macaque's taste, however, that didn't change how tasty they looked. Main courses full of meats and spices, a big variety of drinks and sugary desserts filled the space in every busy table.
If he sneaks into the shadows the right way, it won't be hard to get some good meals.
His belly growled.
"AaaAh! That was loud!" - He looked to the side and saw... You. - "Gosh, you scared me!"
Macaque jumped startled, he hadn't seen that a human had approached to look in the window too. A loud noise came from your belly almost as if it was competing with his stomach.
"Oh... You must be hungry. You also don't have a partner to eat a Valentine's Day food?" - Your hunger had reminded you of that scary noise that came from his tummy.
Macaque was starting to consider fleeing away from there, all he needs less now is boring small talk in the midst of invasion plans.
"Today there are various places offering special dishes for couples, but only for couples." - You keep talking even without hearing an answer from him. - "I'm alone too, so I understand the feeling of walking around without a partner, it makes us think about all the good food we're missing. I only left my house today to see everything decorated and pink, you know. I wanted to see the city transformed."
/ Does this human get chatty when hungry, or are they just naturally annoying? /
After that thought, the belly of the two rumbled together, a synchronized noise, it sounded like a were a rehearsed trick.
"Argh! Those foods look so delicious! I would even pay someone to accompany me, pretending to be my partner."
/ Wait a minute, what did they just say? /
"Would you really pay someone to do something like that?" - An interest appeared behind the question.
"Of course, I really want the couples discounts and stuff." - You answered honestly without even thinking twice, it's a habit of yours that ends up putting you in complicated situations all the time.
A mischievous grin broke out on his face.
He turned around and put a hand on your shoulder to have your attention just for him, you look into the eyes of the man who was holding you. - "Well, today is your lucky day! I am completely willing to cooperate with you in exchange for a good payment."
Now the human eyes stared at the man, the owner of those eyes carrying a certain nervousness within them. We all know that you shouldn't make deals with strangers, you know that very well yourself, but this is an opportunity to eat the exclusive foods that will only be available for today...
You took a good look at his figure to study his details, checking out the sparkle in his eyes, the charming smile, the beard that added the final touch to his attractive face. He wears clothes in nice colors that match each other, specifically dark red and black, his dark hair wasn't super tidy but wasn't tossed around either. The strands look very soft too, a strange urge to stroke the locks of hair haunted your head, but you held back. A man full of charisma stood before you.
You had to admit, he is hot. He is really hot, and he probably knows that (right?), so how expensive would that service be?
"... And how much would be a good payment in your opinion?"
He moved closer to your ear (a thing that made your whole body heat up and shiver) and using a seductive, soft voice, he whispered the value. Your brain melted hearing the voice while collapsed, listening to the number being said. God. The company of pretty men really was expensive.
He seemed to be delighted to see you shudder, to see you making such a shocked expression at the answer, a smug and satisfied smile graced his face. And honestly, this attitude only made you feel more silly feelings in your chest.
"My lord! This much just because you're handsome?!"
"Nice try, but flattering me isn't going to make me change the price I set."
"W-Wait! Let's talk a few things before accepting any price! Like, what places do you allow us to go? What couple things I can do with you? What are your personal boundaries? It wouldn't be fair to charge a specific amount without considering certain things."
The man stares at you intently for a few seconds like someone trying to see through dark glass, arms crossed defensively as he "scans" you up and down. He seemed to be searching for lies through the aura of your soul, or something like this.
"... Like a spoken contract? A kind of sacred agreement between us?" - You nodded with your head.
After thinking some more, Macaque started to say his limitations: No kisses. No hugs. No pet names. You're only allowed to walk holding hands (so you don't end up getting lost).
On your turn to speak, you negotiate the places to visit: an elegant restaurant, a chocolate fondue stand and a cute cafe. These places had great deals for couples and unique Valentine's Day dishes.
/ Isn't that too much food for just one person? /
He had no idea how much food would fit in your stomach, but he could eat a lot himself, so he was getting a big prize. Caring for you was the least of his worries, so your final state at the end of the tour doesn't matter as long as he's well paid and well-fed.
Being so demanding and limiting turned out to affect the final price of the deal, you would have to pay less to the fake boyfriend, but it was still a hefty price.
With everything settled, it was time to pay.
You looked in your wallet with a sad expression. - "Goodbye sweet money, I will never forget you."
When you were about to hand over the payment, you remembered a basic socialization step.
"Wait a minute! I don't know your name." - You held your money close to your chest, hesitating.
The monkey blinked in disbelief, processing the moment, of all suspicious things was it the lack of name that made you hesitate?
A light chuckle escaped from him. - "You can call me Mac. What about you?"
After revealing your name, you glared at the man as you slowly handed over the money, taking your time to say goodbye to the lost fortune. When he took the money from your hands, you made a thin little noise of suffering. Honestly, you're so exaggerated.
We can say that you're dumb too! Knowing each other's names isn't going to stop one from running off with the payment. Lucky for you, Macaque was starting to be entertained by the human innocence. Or would it be better to say stupidity instead of innocence?
Well, it doesn't matter, a fake date has begun.
#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk x reader#lego monkie kid x reader#lmk macaque x reader#macaque x reader#lmk fanfiction
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The thing is, i am scared to publicly post pictures of my hoarde after the encounter with cohost.
It's insane because it's gotten into racism and transandrophobic territory where trans men are blamed because I loudly expressed how you should not be transandrophobic. I even made an entire secondary blog dedicated to strictly talking about transandrophobia and how it hurts groups of people. I made a list of transmasc/nonbinary mascs who were killed in 2024, I posted resources, uplifted transmasc voices, and continued to focus on that focal point of it. It was never about someone else, it was always about people being targeted for being transmasc, and how transandrophobia shaped queer communities into anti-transmasculinity to favor feminine people because queer to a cishetnormative society means feminine. It means anything that ""threatens"" the "female state". To queerphobes, queer means anything that threatens what they think a female is. (which in this case no longer is just being "feminine" bc if ur masc and a "female", u still have to prove yourself.)
I'm still around family that calls women, "females". But that ""luxury"" is not given to men. It is not trans men vs trans women, it has always been how cishetnormative standards never had true femininity. Feminine people do not exist in cishetnormative society. You are either masculine or submissive. And you want to know who that hurts? Those who are ""threat"" to the "female state" or "cismasculinity".
That includes trans men for being ""gender traitors"" for being ""woman hypnotized into men"", that includes trans women for being ""predators"" for being ""men dressing as little girls"", and everyone in between like nonbinary people and intersex folks trying to retain their rights to bodily autonomy. ALL of them are harmed by the idea that feminine means queer, and let's admit - A LOT of queer people have adopted the idea that queer means feminine. They have forgotten that the reason they associate it like that is BECAUSE of cishetnormative society dressing the label that way and denoting any gay man as feminine, and now queers that have picked it up - they're excepting femininity from all trans mascs. When a trans masc doesn't present that and reinforces that they would like more masculine representation, people complain that they want to be referred as masculine. "tell me you're not comfortable with your masculinity without telling me !1!1!" kind of posts all over Twitter recently.
in cishetnormative society, it's either cismasculinity or submissiveness. and they categorize anything feminine as queer because it could ""threaten"" the basis of which these two operate on. They hate trans men for being "fake men who should be submissive", and they hate trans women for being "fake women who should be cismasculine."
and we're still trying to avoid pointing attention to how bad every queer person is handling it by refocusing on tme/tma language. (if we do what we did before but harsher, it'll go away again.)
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I don't think I made enough of a point of how problematic it is to only like skinny people to the point of only dating, respecting, and rebloging them. I got mad and kept it mostly focused on the white aspect in my previous posts. (As in, only liking WHITE thin people and only rb white skinny femmes is weird as hell) Very sorry about that! I just felt the racism issue needed to be addressed first and then I missed the opportunity to also talk about body size as well because sometimes this goes hand in hand, let's be real.
If you only like butches and femmes when they are thin, especially only if they are thin and white, then maybe you don't like them.
Why do larger bodies make you uncomfortable? No matter if you have a tummy or not, if your thighs touch, your belly is large and prominent, or if you have rolls when standing, sitting, or existing, maybe you even have everything I listed at once but it's all beautiful and wonderful and natural. Someone's body shouldn't stop you from loving them. Someone's size shouldn't make you lose interest in them, that is just pathetic. Your love and respect for butches and femmes shouldn't depend on if they are thin or not.
ESPECIALLY for femmes, this is an issue I am seeing when trying to interact with some of the butches here. You either like us all, or you don't like any of us. You can't only like and respect people when they are thin (and white).
We all come in many different shapes and sizes, if you can only be attracted to those who are thin then you need to unpack that. Why do bodies that are not thin repulse you so much? (fatphobia is real please work on yourselves) Just because someone is fat it doesn't mean they are any less of a person. I am just as deserving of love and respect as my thinner femme sisters/siblings.
Personally as a femme, I love me some butch/stud tummy. Give me a butch with a big tummy, big arms, big legs and thighs, and I'm gonna be the happiest girl in the world. Big thighs so I can sit comfortably in their lap, big arms so I can hold onto them when we are walking together, a soft tummy that moves when they laugh and when they fuck into me. Like!!! Fat butches and fat studs, skinny, mid size, and any studs and any butches anywhere in between, you are wonderful! If you have stretch marks, scars, visible double chins, disabilities, acne, you are wonderful! regardless of your race or gender identity you are all wonderful and handsome and strong! thank you for existing. the lesbian community, especially within butch/femme dynamics is incredibly lucky to have you in it. You make me feel so safe and loved. Thank you
Femmes, femmes who are fat, femmes who have stretch marks, femmes who have big bellies, arms, and thighs. Femmes who have visible double chins, femmes who have big cheeks and fingers!! You are gorgeous to me. Femmes with stretch marks, acne, scars, disabilities, femmes who are fat, thin, mid size, or anywhere in between, regardless of your gender or race, you are all beautiful and wonderful and lesbian. There is no size requirement to be femme, it's a mindset. Thank you femmes for making the lesbian community so wonderful, especially within the butch/femme community. I love and appreciate you all 🩷
It's okay to have preferences, but it becomes an issue when your preferences are causing harm and stem from racism or fatphobia or anything else. When you are only respecting those you find attractive, when you are only holding space in your heart for those with smaller bodies, when you only value the opinions of those whose skin is pale, you are way less likely to be a safe space for others. You are less likely to care about the others in your community, less likely to treat those in larger bodies with respect and dignity. Society already treats fat people as something disgusting and something to be laughed at and looked down upon, and we don't need this in the lesbian community when this is supposed to be a space for us to exist freely in. The lesbian community is already pretty small, we don't need to bring even more hardship onto those in our community, those who are different than us deserve love and care too. We need to uplift and support each other, we are all we have at the end of the day. Let's make our space a place we can all sit comfortably in, regardless of how we physically look 🦇🖤
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also no hate full love to my fellow transmascs but the amount of them on that post going "this is why i'm trans/nonbinary bc i don't relate to women" THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT WOMEN DO NOT HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS......
i am not telling u ur still a woman or something ridiculous but what i am telling u is there are answers deeper than "well i don't shave my legs or like pink or relate to femininity" as to why ur trans/nonbinary and reducing womanhood down to those things and positing urself as intrinsically Not a woman bc you don't do those things is some internalized misogyny you have gotta look into baby boy
like it's a very scary realization to have i know but if you are a trans man know that there are women out there who look and act the exact same way you do and are still women. and that is okay. you do not have to have the same label on your gender as them. and them existing is not a threat to your existence as a trans man. but what we are Not going to do is deny them their womanhood or revert to gender essentialism.
you do not have a boy brain. you have a person brain. no one on earth has a boy brain or a girl brain. u have gotta reflect and find some deeper more fulfilling answers bc i promise u u will feel like 1000x more secure in ur own gender and gender presentation when you do and stop just going "i'm a boy bc i played with trucks as a kid". you're a man but WHY are you a man? the answer may surprise and comfort you!
#this one may be controversial but i feel like i have to say smth bc the FLOOD of comments abt how thats why this person isnt a girl.........#listen. i am also not a girl. but it's not bc i don't wear pink or think abt the roman empire or some inane bullshit lmaoooo
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my problem with postcanon jade was that it said she was a cis girl before fusing with bec. i took it as the same "true in a transmisogynist way" troll as transmasc roxy
like, truly, i miss transfeminine roxy every day, and my house is fairly glass when it comes to things here considering i'm writing The Butch Lesbian Jane Comic, but like. the way homestuck fans exert ownership over the text of homestuck is fundamentally what the homestuck epilogues and post-canon are about. act 7 is about the dead calliope saying "fuck canon" and making her own, and she does not know how to care for the characters in question. i genuinely believe reconciling these facts, that what homestuck wants to be and what fans want homestuck to be are tangibly, ideologically opposed, is what post-canon is about
"fans read this character as X identity" is fine and good but that's paratext at best, and making demands of a text that has no obligation to respect them at worst. the epilogues are cashing in that desire to not respect them. homestuck has always been shaking off its readers who exert too much ownership, feel too comfortable with it. this goes way back as far as act 5 act 2 - the author commentary describes switching between walkaround sprites and hussnasty mode in such close proximity as a means of saying "if you always get what you expect, you will become complacent and that's no way for a reader to be", the "come in, go away" routine of homestuck is so repetitive now that i'm surprised basically nobody's caught on - homestuck is always doing insane flips to try and shake people off of it.
and now homestuck is doing that with your headcanons. like, this is a thing i see genuinely, all the fucking time in fandom over the past 15 years or so, people hype themselves up on paratexts and pretend the paratext is the source. the worst i ever saw of it was people having full blown self-harm threatening panic attacks because klance was not endgame in voltron legendary defenders. genuinely, i remember this so well - i think there were still two more seasons of the show after that event too, but i didn't watch it.
i only looked on from afar because what i saw of season 1 wasn't especially novel. castiel was never gay, no matter how many times he was caught leaking omegamusk in walmart or whatever, i'm stealing valor with this joke i was never a superwholock omegaverse girlie. there's so many fandoms i'm not a part of, it's unreal.
anyway, my point is people get really invested in their reads on characters and pretend it's real for the same reason a normie's sports team is gonna go the distance this season. and when they don't, they riot. this is literally just sports fandom 101. we may as well be talking about fucking inflategate here. i also don't go to sports. it's basically just homestuck for me these days.
i imagine this is what it's like to run my little pony before bronies came along: the show was negligible in relevance beyond its capacity to show off the new toys to play with. but the difference is that my little pony is about the toys, it's about encouraging that kind of play, it's fundamentally a set of toys they made a show about, as opposed to homestuck, which was always niche art for webcomics weirdos that caught on, quite literally, with the brony audience. i remember the first time i ever saw dave strider was on fucking ponychan, chronologically it would have been mid-act 5 act 2. it was an image of dave ransacking the lohac stock exchange, which is an a5a2 thing, it was before season 2 started, etc etc.
this is one hell of a tangent to say as far as the text of mspaintadventures is concerned, problem sleuth characters have gender signifiers that are more similar in nature to drag and performance of gender roles than any actual sexual dimorphism. homestuck characters are built atop the gender expression of problem sleuth. jade was a 13/16-year old girl, and that's the only information there was. over time, this changed.
this was an explicit change, too - it's in the change to act 6, passing through the fourth wall, that these characters, who fundamentally are game pieces, that homestuck starts to contend with the fact that people are emotionally invested in them as people. people don't like dave or vriska in the same way that people care about problem sleuth or nervous broad, and this comes out in the text. we get a lot of the best stuff in homestuck out of that change, too, like. the retcon only works because of that emotional investment, and i go so hard for the retcon. the retcon is the coolest thing ever.
and with that change, now, in 2024, she is explicitly a 39 (? i think she's 39.) year old woman with a penis. she didn't go from "cis woman" to "trans woman", she went from game piece to human person. there is no "cis jade" to be overwritten. you're assuming a "cis is default" worldview of a team of transgender and/or nonbinary people and thats just like. its not ideal, really
#really letting these posts get away from me here.#i write really nonlinearly and got distracted to go post resources on the mspfa discord so if theres a sentence fragment in there: idgaf
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I don't make my own posts often, but I feel like I need to write this down for myself. I don't know what to say my gender is. I, for the past few years, have found myself comfortable going by any pronouns because my gender doesn't really concern me much and it feels nice when people sometimes refer to me as they or he. I'm generally just quite chill with how people refer to me.
But something I also realised about myself while learning more about the different sexualities and idk, queerness in general, is that growing up as a child, it felt strange to refer to myself as a girl and sometimes I thought I felt more boy-ish. It wasn't something that I felt all the time though, but I did feel that way a fair bit. Never mentioned it to anyone cause I thought that it was normal, but I realise now it wasn't quite what I thought.
And now, some days I'll be getting undressed to have a shower and I'll look at myself in the mirror and see myself and feel comfortable and confident about the way my body looks, but then some days it feels wrong; I can't stand looking at the shape of my body for too long. Some days I feel like embracing the way I look, no problem wearing some feminine things, because I look good in that fashion, but sometimes I have this need to put on my tightest sports bra and wear clothing more masculine (though just as stylish). Sometimes I'd like to wear a bit of dark makeup, sometimes I'd rather rub dirt on my face; Sometimes I wear my hair messy going just past my shoulders, sometimes I tie it back to make it look shorter; Sometimes I wear slightly tighter fitting clothes that outline my body and make me feel a bit sexy, sometimes I wear long jackets that hide my hips and sometimes it's a mix of all these things.
And I'm really beginning to wonder just what am I? Who am I? Does it really matter? Do I have to put a label to it? I don't know, but these past few months I've really wondered about it. "Maybe I'm trans?" "Am I agender? Or perhaps nonbinary?" "I might be genderfluid..." I know I don't have to put any label to it, I know it wouldn't change much, I know I'm only a teenager and I still have PLENTY of time to figure it out... But I do still wonder.
Maybe I am genderfluid. That's what I'm thinking right now. It seems to fit. Is there any point to this post? Not really, but sometimes writing out my thoughts helps to figure stuff out, and who the hell knows. Maybe some other person will find this helpful. It's a tricky thing sometimes, figuring out how to define yourself, but I know who I am regardless of any labels. I'm wicked, sharp, stylish and sarcastic and nobody, not a single person, can tell me who I am other than myself.
For anyone else struggling with similar problems in figuring out their identity, just know that whoever you are, you are loved an appreciated. Never stop being yourself.
#genderfluid#genderqueer#nonbinary#enby#agender#bigender#trans#transgender#genderflux#pangender#demiboy#demigirl#genderfuck#androgynous#gender#queer youth#queer#lgbtqia#lgbtqia+#lgbtq+#queer pride
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CASSIE been followsing you for like 8 years by this point congrats on the girlfriend and the gender!!! as a butch it feels great seeing your journey <3 <3 love you youre the funniest person ever
THANK YOU SO MUCH you really have stuck around for so long, my friend!! This was such a lovely message to receive and it absolutely made my night ♡ I know I'm not posting as much at the moment but it's for sure a good thing as my social life is pretty active, i have a stable job that I love, and have the most caring, handsome, attractive, and FUNNY butch gf a girl could ask for.
And butch for sure has only felt more and more comfortable to me as a gender identity as well as a form of self expression ♡♡ it makes me really happy to read all the support everyone has shown me and the joy they feel for me <:,-] Thanks ♡
Some recent pics!
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DC characters i think have tgirl swag:
1.All the Wonderfam girls.Pretty self-explanatory,they're literally ancient greek women
2.Lian.Idc that we were introduced to her since she was a baby,she's my stepdaughter so i know her better than DC.Hope that helps👍🏼Also obligatory blue hair and pronouns joke
3.KORY Everything about her screams femme trans woman from her personality to her looks and relathionships and she gets extra swag for being a darkskinned black one
4.Batgirl is an inherently transfem mantle just like Robin is an inherently trans one in general
5.Meloni.Trans milf rights and she's a badass sweetheart who's super funny just like all irl trans women
6.Rose.No cis woman could be that cool and her relathionship with Slade gains even more depth with a trans woman narrative
7.Onto egg headcanons,Bart and Thad but in opposite directions!!Bart is a pastel 'kiddy' soft uwu girl who gets gender euphoria from looking exactly like her mom and Thad finds freedom and comfort in the 'edgier'(meaning alt)types of girlhood and her mental health improves greatly after she realizes she's trans.The Bart one was partially inspired by a Konbart post i saw paralleling them to Peter Pan and Wendy because of Kon's canon Peter Pan motif so they're transmasc4transfem!!
8.Dick!!@chadfarsight told me that she headcanons her as a trans woman because DC tries so hard to force stereotypical cishet masculinity on her that it comes across as ooc and is also heavily disrepectful to her original writing like her romance with Kory and friendships with the other Titans(and Roy is also included in romances imo and i can point to some Dickroy and Jaderoy parallels pretty easily).That and the fandom makes babygirl-coded and eldest daughter syndrome about her so often and keeps making her apperance,mannerisms and gender presentation more feminine than in canon so at this point i'm like *Shrugs*'Well,if you guys say she's a woman,who am i to deny her the right to be a girlboss?'And the idea of the first superhero kid sidekick growing up to be a trans woman is just very pog
9.Maya,Maps and Kathy aka the Damian Teen Titans generation girls we deserved.Maya is giving the cool older girl variant,Maps' personality and gender presentation is very younger trans girl energy to me as someone who's meet many of them and Kathy is simply a trans dorkgirl
10.Every Superfam girl except Mia(who has transmasc girl swag).I'm a Superfam member so trust me on this,it's canon
#dc#diana prince#nubia#donna troy#yara flor#artemis grace#cassie sandsmark#lian harper#koriand'r#barbara gordon#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#nell little#meloni thawne#rose wilson#bart allen#thaddeus thawne#dick grayson#maya ducard#maps mizoguchi#kathy branden#lois lane#martha kent#kara danvers#mae kent#karen starr#lana lang#natasha irons#trans women#letters from summer
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Fuck it, I'm trying out a new label.
Bigender
Lately, I've been fantasizing about wearing skirts and thigh-highs, but at the same time I've been really happy with my (short) hairstyle and my facial hair. At first, I thought this was just me finding out I was gender non-conforming. I rationalized it as me finding thigh-highs sexually attractive, and enjoying the sex-positivity of rocking them for myself.
But that made me wonder what that meant for me. Did that make me a femboy or something? My attachment to my more masculine features made that a really confusing question. Eventually, I turned my thoughts to gender identity. Either it could answer my questions, or it could at the very least rule out a lot of possibilities and make things easier to figure out. I thought about it long and hard. The process was infuriatingly fruitless, since I felt something when I considered identifying as a girl, but I hated the idea of committing to it fully. And at the same time, I was very comfortable with identifying as male, but it still felt like something was wrong. In the end, I gave up and went back to considering myself gender non-conforming, maybe something like a femboy.
But the uncertainty was agonizing. My mind kept wandering back to this topic, never any less confused. Finally, when fantasizing about presenting femininely at one point, the word "she" happened to flash in my mind. Before then, I didn't mind she/her pronouns, but I never identified with them. It never felt like they were referring to me. But in that moment, the word "she" just felt so natural, so right. I realized that the reason I never truly identified with she/her pronouns was because I had never explored my femininity like this. I also realized that she/her pronouns didn't feel right in many cases because I associate my name with he/him so strongly. So I thought up a variant of my name, similar enough that I could easily identify with it, but much more feminine. It immediately felt good when I tried out switching back and forth between my two names. (Even saying "my two names" just now felt nice.) Pairing the names with the corresponding pronouns, I could finally identify properly with both identities without dissonance. I still have some doubts about a couple things, but I feel like I've finally figured out enough to give the label a proper trial run.
Also, thank you @sonia-wah-wah for bringing bigender concepts to my attention. Some posts you made a while back put the idea in my head and are probably what planted the seeds for all this. Good luck with your own questioning, if you still have anything to figure out.
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