I have no one I can talk to.
No one to bare my inner soul to.
No one to hide behind when I'm scared.
Of all these people that say they love me.
There's not one I can reach out to.
Not one who sees that I'm drowning.
No one who'll try and save me.
Will they at least mourn me?
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Borderline
Definition: (adj.) barely acceptable in quality or as belonging to a category; on the borderline.
I do not know the difference
between dark and light;
war and peace;
or absent and present.
There is no gray area
for someone like me.
Because I, myself,
am the borderline.
I am either
content and euphoric
or paranoid and depressed.
Never in the middle.
I do not choose my emotions,
but I choose how I react.
I will never take my anger out
on a friend or stranger.
I will never let my sadness
affect those around me.
Instead, I will let these emotions
eat me from the inside out.
They will burn in my chest
and cause stabbing headaches.
Yet I still ensure
that my suffering is silent.
But I will share
my happiness and hobbies
with the people I love.
I will put on a mask
and make sure that they are okay;
because that is how I was raised.
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I have no place in this home.
Voices traveling through the walls.
No one talks to me.
Hidden in this room alone.
Alone, alone, always alone.
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I JUST NOTICED THIS IN THE ENDING!! 😪
Please bring Akutagawa back to life so Dazai can tell him He is Worthy.
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Honestly, this song is so powerful. Making peace with our truma that's carried us this far but held us back so much farther.
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Feeling down, lost, confused, angry, jealous are all parts of the human condition.
Don't fight them.
Understand them.
Accept them.
Love them and go beyond them.💗
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Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.
It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.
Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.
It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.
This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.
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