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classypauli · 2 days

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𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬

chapter 1

pairing: tara carpenter x fem!Reader

summary: Your and Tara’s “friendship” keeps going and unexpected pairing in school project gets you more closer than you both need.

tags: enemies to lovers, slow burn, alcohol, party, curse words, mistakes

word count: 2.5k

You don’t like a lot of things, like early mornings, school, tomato soup, and slow people on stairs. But the thing you hate the most is the alarm clock. You are sure that you already have PTSD from it because everytime you hear it, your body wants to shut down. Like right now.

You whined as your ears were met with the most annoying sound on earth. After turning it off you turned your face deep into the pillow. For a couple of minutes, it stopped but you knew it would soon come back.

With a groan, your legs fell onto the cold floor. You don´t have many lessons today, just one but you still couldn´t convince your body to wake up.

Slowly doing your morning routine, grabbing things you need for your lesson and you left. As you were locking your apartment´s door you saw Tara by the elevator. Quickly putting your keys into the pocket of your jeans you started to make your way to her direction.

Every morning you and her were practically overruning to the elevator, making the other one behind to wait.

Your flats are high and the elevator is unfortunately just one. The only way to go down would be to go down the endless stairs or to swallow your dislike towards the Carpenter and go with her. And that´s exactly what you were going to do.

Sadly Tara saw you, and as you were halfway toward her the elevator door suddenly opened. This was her chance, her chance to pay back you from yesterday.

The next thing you saw was Tara quickly going to the elevator and sending you her most annoying grin you have ever seen through the elevator doors that were slowly closing right between your face.

You ran as fast as you could but your body was met with the tough metal doors. And the next thing you could hear was Tara´s echoing laugh.

„That little-“You let out a groan as you punched the closed elevator door.

Forget about the things that were said in the beginning, the thing you most hated was Tara Carpenter.

„Hey Y/N! Why so late?“

Chad asked you with a curious face. Everyone was now sitting by the cafeteria in your university. Every morning you would meet there and start your day together, then split up for lessons if you didn´t have them together.

Your eyes shot to the Carpenter who was sitting by the end of the table, far from you. She was smirking to herself, trying to hide her laugh. You knew and she knew too.

„Nothing serious Chad, just some morning issues.“ You let out as you sat opposite Chad. His twin sister looked trying to figure out the cause of it but as soon as your eyes met Tara´s she understood.

It bothers Mindy, she wants all of her close ones to get along. How come you can´t just bury the war axe and at least accept the presence of one another? If not for you then for your friends.

Mindy can´t imagine the situation of having to choose between the two of you. She doesn´t even want to think about it, the thought of splitting your group into two camps.

You have all been friends since the first years of school. You would share all your classes and after school, you came to each other's houses and played till your parents called. As you got older your hobbies and behavior changed but your friendship stayed the same. Only there was a little problem, you two.

The thing is, despite you both hate each other you are almost the same. Tara has a short temper and you have anger issues. Just a small tinke from you or her and the volcanic eruption is born.

So Mindy took the role of the mother of her two stubborn kids.

Days went by and everything was the same. You were feeling like a mummy this past week because of the schoolwork. You were working your ass off because of the finals and wanting to do as great as you could you needed to pay with your sleep.

Right now you are in civics class. You don´t hate it but you don´t like it either. It is somewhere in the middle. You took this class partly because your friends were there but also because it wasn´t so hard. Yeah you are an idiot. But hand on your heart, who has never done that?

Unfortunately one of the things the students needed to do to pass the class besides the final exam was a group project.

You didn´t like this kind of stuff, especially with someone you barely know but thank God this won’t be your case.

Sitting in a chair one hand was supporting your head and the other was playing with a pen in your hand, spinning it around. You were sitting alone in the back of the class. Mindy diagonally to your left with Chad beside her. Tara was diagonally on your right sitting also alone.

„And for the upcoming project, you will be making groups of two people. Each group will have a different topic and it will be up to you how you will elaborate on it and how you will split your work. The next thing-“

You moved your eyes to Mindy but her back was towards you. The girl was talking to her brother who was nodding at something she was saying. She wouldn´t do this to you, right? Mindy was your partner, your friend, and your only hope for this class.

The class bell rang and with that, you stood up and made your way to her. „Will you pair with me on this project?“ you asked, almost sure that she would say yes.

„Sorry Y/N I´m already with Chad.“ You kept looking at her with open eyes. Did your best friend just betray you? „But you can be with Tara.“

The both of you turned to the spot that was occupied by the brunette and your gazes met.

No no no no no.

Looking up at your roof with a softball in your hand, not paying attention to what going on but also praying it will end as soon as possible. You were currently lying on your back in your bed while throwing the ball against the ceiling.

Your teacher gave you not much time on your project despite how large it needs to be. Unfortunately, there was no other way other than to do it fast. For the sake of both.

„Human rights are fundamental rights and freedoms that all individuals are entitled to regardless of their nationality, ethnicity, religion, gender, or other factors. They are inherent to all human beings and-“ Tara stopped. „I won´t do this all just by myself.“ She said without turning her head toward you.

Since she came to your apartment you were just quiet, keeping yourself on a leash. Tara was sitting on the ground of your room with the books and notebook around her. You refused to let her use your game computer or your chair, not trusting her with it which she called you crazy.

„You know if you keep doing this it will take much longer.“

You sighed and sat up. You were pretty calm today, Tara was almost enjoying it, only almost. You took one of her books and started to look for something useful to put into your project.

Tara shook her head at your behavior and continued. „An individual rights end where the other individual rights begin-“

„Something you infringed a long time ago.“ You muttered under your breath, reacting to her words. The short girl took a deep breath in and out.

Dick.

„It can be affected in a way of violence or abuse, meaning of physical, emotional, psychological abuse-“

„Damn, they should lock you up.“ Again you let out softly barely noticeable.

„Can you shut up?!“

„You wanted me to help!“

„But not with being an absolute ass!“

You stood up from your bed and pointed your finger at her. „Listen here, little lady.“

„Oh yeah? Come on tell me.“ She stood up from the ground and made her way toward you. Your angry faces were just centimeters from one another and your hands were formed into fists. Her big brown eyes were staring right into yours with rage. How badly you just wanted to-

You were cut off by the doorbell of your apartment. Both of your faces turned from the way the sound came to each other again with a confused look. Tara pushed you by your shoulders.

„Go! It´s your house!“ she whispered yelling at you.

As you opened the door you were met with the faces of your friends. They wanted to laugh at how weird and at the same time cute it looked, how Tara was right behind you, trying to see who the new intruder was.

„What are you guys doing here?“ you asked inquisitive. Not like you didn´t want them here but it was unexpected.

„Ha! Look at them! They don´t even want us here!“ Chad laughed. „Were you two in the middle of something?“ he asked as he kept raising his eyebrows up and down.

You and Tara looked horrified at the thought of something similar. „What?!“ „No!“

„I didn´t even say what I meant!“

Mindy shook her head and punched her brother in the back of his head before coming into your apartment with the rest of the group. She had a feeling that your meeting about the school project wouldn´t end up like she wanted it to. That’s why she called Chad and Anika to your flat to hang out.

A couple of days now passed by and your focus on study was growing every day. It was not like you were good at it, you didn´t like studying but also you enjoyed learning about new topics that were interesting to you.

Your father called you, asking how you were. You plan to see him in some close time. You missed him. Since started university, he was left almost alone in your hometown. It was not like he was complaining about it, or at least he didn´t say anything about it, but you knew him.

The thought of visiting him unexpectedly made you excited and at least that was something that made you look for something. Not thinking about school only.

Your friendship with Tara was also changing, without your notice. You didn´t argue like you used to. Yeah, still there are times when you two jump into each other's hair, like every day, but not so often.

It´s like an unspoken task that has to be fulfilled. The day wouldn´t be complete if you didn´t fight at least once a day.

The only people that noticed the little changes were your friends. It was really fun for them. When Mindy told everyone about you they couldn´t believe it. So they started to observe and yeah, she was right.

There was still some bickering between you two but it just has to be there. That wouldn´t be you.

Right now you were standing at someone´s party. Your back towards the wall, cup in your hand just looking around the people in the room. You weren’t that much drunk, almost sober. Your friends were somewhere scattered around.

You came together but as the alcohol was coming down the throat more and more they went everyone on their own. You didn´t feel like babysitting your friends today.

The house also wasn´t that big, there were people from your university and they were adults so it wasn´t like something would happen to them.

You were talking with one of your friends from the class, Ethan. He was a good guy, he grew close to your heart.

Then you catch Chad lying on the couch with his drink in hand and something across his face. You squinted your eyes at him and started to come a little closer and as soon as you were beside him you broke into a fit of laughter.

„Oh my God Chad.“ You laughed at your friend who had barely opened their eyes. He saw you and smiled wide at you.

„Y/N! I´m so glad I see you.“

He had some signs drawn with markers across his face. He had big circles around his eyes like glasses and mustache. On his forehead was written, “Even a little wizard can do big magic“.

„How do you feel buddy?“ you tapped his shoulder as you were looking at him with a smile across your face. He was hilarious.

„I feel super great Y/N, will you drink with me?“ he asked as he sat up on a couch and was now trying to get some bottle of alcohol from the table.

„Nah I don´t think-“ You wanted to decline his offer but he cut you off.

„Please, just one.“ He gave you big puppy eyes and you sighed. Chad was one of the guys that when they were drunk they weren´t aggressive but affectionate. How could you say no to him?

After your shot with Chad, you saw Mindy coming to her brother to take him home. She didn´t forget to laugh at his face as she saw him.

In a moment you also saw Tara chatting with some guy. She was smiling up at him as he was flirting with her. You suddenly felt goosebumps running down your spine, you shook your body at the disgusting sigh.

You didn´t care about who was Tara with, it was her life and her body. She could do whatever she wanted. It just made you disgusted in some way. Maybe because she was in your friend group? You didn´t know.

You threw your cup into the trash can and left the party.

Tara was walking to her home. When she didn´t see anywhere her friends and was starting to get bored she also started to make her way home. The girl saw what state Chad was and she knew he wouldn´t be able to go home by himself. So that was minus Chad and Mindy with Anika. You were also there but she barely saw you so she figured you went also home.

As she was getting close to her apartment she was trying to find the key.

No. Please no.

She doesn´t have them. The brunette must forget them inside. When Tara was leaving her house Sam was still home getting ready for work, she closed the door behind her.

Tara breathed out the air from the lungs and slid down the door. Sam will surely kill her when she finds out. But what now? She can´t just sleep in a hallway. Maybe she could try to go in by the window-

Of course not, she isn´t in a movie and their apartment is high. That would be dangerous.

Her eyes fell on the apartment´s door beside her. She hated the idea, it would crush her ego and everything inside of her. Tara was already really embarrassed by the situation she put herself into. It couldn´t be worse, right?

With heavy steps and heart, she was making her way toward your door. She knocked a couple of times, it was late so it was a big possibility you were sleeping already.

Just when she wanted to go back to her door you opened it. Your hair was a bit messy and you were wearing a big white shirt with some pants. Big sleepy eyes of yours were staring at her, processing what was happening.

Tara´s words were stuck in her throat. Like she was caught doing something that was forbidden.

„Hey- I forgot my keys and- I just wanted to ask-“

The girl sighed, she didn´t know what to say. She already regretted her decision to knock on your door. This was so embarrassing.

„If you could sleep over.“ You ended her sentence with crossed arms across your chest.

Despite how you and Tara act towards each other you would never let her sleep somewhere. Maybe also because you appreciate Sam and you know how Sam loves and adores her little sister.

„Come in.“ You opened your door wider for her to come. Tara couldn´t believe you. Really? Just like that without any comebacks and mocking words? Maybe you were too sleepy for that.

You made your way to your room brought a pillow and blanked with some of your clothes that are already small on you. You threw it on a couch and gave the clothes to Tara. „Here, you can change into this.“ Was this even you?

„And you will sleep on a couch. Don’t bother me.“

Yes, it was you.

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starlostseungmin · 2 days

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prologue: look what you started ─── lee know (unedited ver.)

✰ pairing : yandere!minho x doctor!fem.reader (she/her pronouns).

✰ genre : crime au, joker x harley quinn trope with a twist, nsfw 18+, romance, toxic relationship, angst.

✰ prologue warnings : profanity, mentions of murder, interrogation room, threats, knife + more and specific warnings will be written on the actual fic MDNI.

✰ prologue word count : 1.2k

✰ notes : been planning this fic for weeks and was inspired by lee know’s gucci photoshoot with wkorea and red velvet’s psycho and chill kill. i might provide a playlist but idk this is my third repost of this prologue btw. please separate fiction from reality. COMMENTS, REBLOGS, and TAGS ARE HIGHLY ENCOURAGED. will post the actual fic either june or july!! stay tuned <33

Changbin slammed a bunch of papers on the table making you cringe at the sound. It was loud yet the fear wasn’t caused by it but what was written on them.

It was a random afternoon when Han dragged you along with him from your clinic to this godforsaken interrogation room filled with nothing but silence as you were under surveillance from the outside. Changbin stood a meter away with his hands on his waist, waiting for an acceptable answer. You heard a heavy sigh from him as he grew impatient. There was nothing to tell anyway, and you won’t say anything. Not even a word as to what happened.

“You still won’t talk?” He asked with a smirk formed on his lips. “What do you know about him?”

You took a deep breath as Changbin leaned forward the second he asked you a questionーstill nothing was coming out of your mouth. It should be a secret, you promised him that and you will never tell. But out of everyone, why you? The papers on that damn desk were his medical records, prescriptions, birth certificate, and the personal information of the people he murdered. A responsible citizen, no, a professional doctor like you would most definitely report a criminal immediately. But you didn’t.

Instead, you hid him away from everyone even though you knew about the consequences. You will go to jail, that’s for sure. You didn’t even know why you did it. Was it because you were swayed? Terrified? Threatened? Or was it because you voluntarily wanted everything to happen the way it was?

It should be simple. He was your patient before he became a lover.

“You wouldn’t turn me in, will you?” He asked pointing the tip of his knife on your neck as you stood in front of the mirrorーbody trembling.

“N-no,” Your voice cracked.

“I wouldn’t hurt you, Y/N, you know that,” He answered, pulling the sharp object away as he buried his face in your neck with his arms wrapped around your waist. “You’re precious to me. I love you,” You bit your lower lip as tears streamed down your cheeks while reaching for his hands shakilyーholding them tight.

“I love you too,” You answered staring at your messy reflection in that broken, foggy mirror. “No one will find you, I promise,”

Upon turning away from Changbin’s face, Chan suddenly entered the room and sat across from the table from where you were sitting. He was cleaning the lenses of his glasses as your eyes glued on your balled fists resting at the hem of your skirt. You didn’t know what had gotten into you and why you ended up in this mess that he started. You were not supposed to tolerate him and yet you did. Were you crazy? Or was he?

“What information did you get?” Chan asked Changbin, fogging the lenses of his glasses with his breath before proceeding to wipe them again.

Chan is known for being the best detective in the city. There’s no case he couldn’t crack and he’s too smart to be outsmarted by anyone who tries to flee from the law and Changbin being the interrogator made the situation worse. You knew he used to be friends with everyone in this room, especially Han who was outside, listening to every word. No one can escape, not even you.

There were so many questions, most specifically they were for yourself. A doctor, a foolish one indeed. Who in the right mind would hide a criminal in the countryside for the sake of love? You. Maybe you weren’t in your right mind. And Minho… you can’t just let him go away. He did so much for you already.

“She’s tight-lipped, she’s not answering any of my questions and it has been two fucking hours, Chan. Two!” You heard Changbin exclaim out of frustration with his jaw tightened. Right, two hours for nothing.

“No matter how long you want to keep your mouth shut, we won’t let you go,” Chan spokeーtaking his glasses to rest on the bridge of his nose. He was calm as the ocean water in midsummer but you knew he wouldn’t be once he started talking. “We will find him no matter what, Y/N,” There was a sudden threat and full authority in his voice that made you feel scared. He is one intimidating fucker. Even if you acted strong on the outside, the fear that they’ll find Minho anytime would kill you.

“You don’t have to do this,” You spoke. Finally.

“Then tell us what you know. You’re being brainwashed by him, Y/N!” Chan shouted as you stood up, slamming your hands on the deskーglaring at them as if your eyes would burn them.

“A doctor will never share any confidential information of their patient with someone who is not their guardian!” You arguedーnostrils flared in anger. “Don’t make a fool out of me just because you think I know everything about him and you have the authority to question me. I was brought here against my will without a fucking warrant! And you are expecting me to say something which I won’t so let me go!” It was firm, indeed but they wouldn’t listen.

“You know we can’t do that unless you say something,” Changbin shouted making you slap his cheek causing a loud noise and a tense atmosphere. The man’s eye twitched in shock. For sure he wasn’t expecting that neither did Chan and Han. A harsh sigh escaped from his lips as his hand covered his red cheek, almost cursing the shit out of you but you were just standing there, hands on the desk with your eyes still not calming that death glare.

“I said, let me go.” You answered, infuriated. They didn’t have a choice and so they did.

You didn’t even say thank you after that, and what for? There’s nothing to be thankful about.

Grabbing your bag, you headed out of their office as Han followed you outside. He kept calling your name and to your annoyance, you didn’t want to talk to him. Not with anyone involved in the authority. There’s Minho on the line. You can’t speak further of him anymore.

“Y/N, you don’t have to be this harsh,” Han said, trying to catch up to your pace. “Minho Hyung was my friend, a precious one, and still is! We just really want to know what happened,” Han pleaded, almost tears in his eyes as you stopped in your tracks to face him.

“If you want to see him, be a good friend instead of putting a price on his head,” You snapped at him. Han just stood there, breathless and confused as to why you were making a fuss about it just to save Minho’s ass from getting caught.

“He killed someone! He’s a runaway criminal and you’re the only one who knows where he is!” Han argued.

“I said I don’t!” You yelled as tears started to form in your eyes. “He’s gone, Han! You don’t know where he is, neither do I,” You said. “I wouldn’t be back here if I was with him. He’s gone, Han! So quit thinking that I know!”

However, there was a short pause between you and him as if he was suspecting you, which was indicated as obvious. Han doesn’t trust you ever since his disappearance but he is so naive, no, every one of them.

“You’re lying,” Han gasped in between his cries. “I know you did something to him,”

No, Minho did something to you.

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

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writers-potion · 2 days

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said is NOT DEAD. our brains have seen it so much that when reading dialogue, it just glosses over it. if you don't want to detract from the dialogue, USE SAID. other words might ground the reader a little too much and lose a bit of immersion.

--this comes from my old tutor who now has a phd in literature

Said Is Not Dead

Of course not! "Said" should still be your go-to speech tag, the benefit being that it flows best. I find it nice to have a larger working vocabulary when it comes to expressing speech, though, and I think many writers would agree! It's one thing to use "said" because you know it's the best word choice and another to keep using it because you can think of no alternative.

Having said that:

". . . Don't tell me your character 'excaimed,' 'stated,' or 'replied.' When in doubt, just use 'said.' That's all. Maybe they 'answered.' They certainly did not 'retort.' You can use 'said' more often than you think . . . it's one of those words that takes a while before it starts sounding repetitive." -- Ariel Gore, How to Become a Famous Writer Before You're Dead

"The best form of dialogue attribution is 'said,' as in 'he said, she said, Bill said, Monica said." -- Stephen King, On Writing

"Mr. [Robert] Ludlum . . . hates the 'he said' locution and avoids it as much as possible. Characters in The Bourne Ultimatum seldom 'say' anything. Instead, they cry, interject, interrupt, muse, state, counter, conclude, mumble, whisper (Mr. Ludlum is great on whispers), intone, roar, exclaim, fume, explode, mutter. There is one especially unforgettable tautology: '"I repeat," repeated Alex.' The book may sell in the billions, but it's still junk." -- Newgate Callender, in The New York Times Book Review

"Editors and critics often refer to melodramatic dialogue tags as 'said bookisms.' They know that these phrases give our story an amateurish look. Your readers might not know what the darn things are called, but chances are that they'll notice them, too . . . In most cases, the word 'said' would work just fine, and using said bookisms detracts from the dialogue." -- Ann M. Marble, "'Stop Using Those Said Bookisms,' the Editor Shrieked."

"[Say is] just too simple and clear and straightforward for many people. Why say something when you can declare, assert, expostulate, whine, exclaim, groan, peal, breathe, cry, explain, or asseverate it? I'm all for variety and freshness of expression, but let's not go overboard." -- Patricia T. O'Conner, Woe Is I

"In journalism circles, said is a virtue--simple, precise, and unadorned--and alternatives to it are considered frilly and silly. You don't have to agree, but be aware that lots of editors hold this view. Choose your alternatives to said with great care." --June Casagrande, It Was the Best of Sentences, It Was the Worst of Sentences

"We're all in favor of choosing exactly the right verb for the action, but when you're writing speaker attributions the right verb is nearly always 'said.' The reason those well-intentioned attempts at variety don't work is that verbs other than 'said' tend to draw attention away from the dialogue." --Renni Browne and Dave King, Self-Editing for Fiction Writers

Side Note: After a month-long hiatus while this uni writer struggled with exams, internships, interviews and multiple mental breakdowns, I am going to resume answering questions that have piled up in my inbox! Get ready to be bombarded with writing QnA!!!! :)

If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 📸

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shadowxamyweek · 1 day

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What The Fuck Do You Mean They Gave Amy Rose an Eating Disorder

Alright. I said I’d talk about why I think Amy has an eating disorder, and so here I am, ready to throw down.

Disclaimer!

Let me explicitly say- there’s nothing wrong with exercise and there’s nothing wrong with going on a diet. Not intrinsically, anyway. If you’re being smart and healthy about it, you’ve got good people supporting you or you’ve got your own good mental supports to make sure you’re not hurting yourself, that’s awesome. I am not saying these things are evil. What I am saying is there exists a very dark and obsessive undercurrent to *any* sort of health choice due to cultural expectations that, if a person is not careful about, they can get sucked into.

Trigger warnings!

This is very 'Dead Dove, Do Not Eat.' We're gonna be talking about eating disorders and self harm. It's right here on the tin. If you don't think you're gonna be okay reading this, then don't. I want you to be safe. I believe I've tagged this appropriately, but if I've missed something, please let me know.

What even is an eating disorder?

Broadly speaking, it is any behavioral condition characterized by abnormal eating habits. Some eating disorders stem from physical difficulty with eating that becomes psychological, while others originate due to psychological issues themselves. There are eating disorders that occur because people just wish to be in control of something, those that originate due to side effects of medication, those that occur due to side effects of other psychological conditions like anxiety or depression.

This is to say- not all eating disorders are due to an obsession with body image.

However, it cannot be understated just how many people develop an eating disorder because they are obsessed with body image.

I am of the opinion Amy falls into the latter category, that she is obsessed with body image and, due to that, has an eating disorder.

So what’s going on with Amy?

Let’s look at Sonic Battle (2003). It’s a PVP fighting game for the Game Boy Advance, picking up the plot directly after Sonic Heros and introducing us to Ermel (who would die and come back as Germel). Much like the previous games, you would have a singular plot that was divided into sections. We will be focusing on Amy and Cream’s chapters within the story.

Amy Rose (X)

Cream (X)

Battle is what introduces us to Amy’s boxercising. Originally, she started it to get stronger, Cream citing Amy’s desire to keep Ermel safe after briefly getting kidnapped. However, once she realizes she can lose weight via this method, she becomes obsessed. Cream talks about it, seeming visibly uncomfortable with Amy’s fixation on losing weight, but we don’t really get much in the way of details until we actually fight Amy and see this weightloss obsession in action.

In the Amy chapter of the story, she takes Ermel back to her apartment to train. They set a goal of 5 KOs, then 10. Amy feels faint, citing lightheadedness. Ermel leaves her alone in her apartment.

The next time you see her, only a few moments later, Cream is there. Turns out Amy was so lightheaded she had to go for a liedown. Cream says she’s worried about Amy. Specifically, she says she’s ‘burnt out,’ from overworking herself. Amy promptly comes back from her short break, stumbling into the room, to which Cream exclaims they can’t keep going because Amy can’t walk straight. Amy tells Cream she’s fine, and proceeds to start another goal of 10 KOs.

After that, Amy wants to keep working out, but she’s reaching her limit. She’s unable to speak more than a word or two without gasping for air. Insisting she can keep exercising, she tries to excuse herself to ‘change tactics’. When Cream follows her, it’s revealed that Amy’s been wearing excessively heavy weights on her arms and legs during this entire training spree.

Amy says to go for another goal of 10 KOs. Cream, visibly upset, says that Amy has lost her focus on training. Still, you fight her anyway.

After this, Amy collapses.

She is able to pull herself together after a second, rushing off with Ermel to keep fighting in search of the Chaos Emeralds. Cream seems relieved that Amy’s alright, saying, ‘she’s the strongest woman I know.’

The relief does not last long. After you finish Amy’s chapter, you switch to Cream’s. It opens up post boxcercise with Amy congratulating Ermel on getting strong. Cream noticeably stays very quiet during the exchange.

Then, Amy asks, ‘how much did I lose today?’

Ermel tells her that she’s burned 1000 calories during their workout session. If she wants, she can lose a kilo/2 pounds-ish per three days if she is able to keep this up, but she will have to eat only 700 calories a day max and drink 4 liters/ 1 gallon-ish of water a day. Amy gets very excited. She also says she’s going to purchase some ‘super diet-machine.’ to further her progress. She thanks Ermel for helping her get closer to her goal.

After a bit of a back and forth, Cream says to Ermel that Amy is really getting into this dieting. When Ermel asks, ‘Is getting thin good?’ Cream explains that Amy wants to be thinner so that Sonic might like her back. Ermel, understandably, doesn’t get it. Cream replies that, sometimes, a person will do anything for someone they love. Ermel stays silent, and Cream says that one day, they may eventually understand.

(I swear there’s an additional dialog option if you go back to Amy’s place to talk to her where Ermel suggests she eat nothing but lettuce leaves, but I have misplaced my own copy of the game and cannot verify this. As such, I am not going to use it as evidence, but I do ask that if anyone DOES have the game, fact-check me on this place. I’d like to know if my memory is correct or if this is just a fabrication due to… everything mentioned above.)

So okay, that’s the beats of the story. Now let’s talk about dangerous exercise and diet culture:

Exercise and Eating Disorders

Boxercise feels like a direct parallel to stuff like Jazzercise (60s-80s) or Zumba (00s-10s), which is just normal exercise with a twist of some sort that make it palatable for mass engagement/marketing. These different fun and exciting methods (and they can be- they can be fun- I’m not even gonna lie.) of workout were often sold as methods of both gaining strength and losing weight, but the losing weight often becomes their focus. This game even calls out the ‘this will make me stronger’ to ‘this will make me thin and desirable’ mental pipeline that can happen in the culture surrounding these sorts of exercise methods, unfortunately fostered despite whatever intentions their creators or individualized mentors had. There is nothing wrong with any of these styles of exercise. However, overexercise can be a hallmark of an eating disorder, and a culture of obsession that can surround fad exercises promoting extreme weightloss is dangerous. (X) (X)

It’s not new. The culture around these fad exercise methods might create a special sort of vortex, but look closely, and you'll likely pick up a few people with the same mindset at any old gym. ‘If I just keep pushing, if I just keep going, if I ignore the pain, I’ll be who I want to be.’ That’s how people get permanent injury, from Jannet going way too hard at pilates to Keith pushing far too much weight.

Speaking of weights- We are lead to believe that Amy has been wearing weights this entire time. I don’t just mean for the fight mentioned above. Think about it- she takes them off during that massive workout/fight, but when did she put them on? We don’t see it. We’ve been with her nearly the entire time. This reads to me that she has had them on the entire day, not just for her exercising.

It should be noted that wearing weights in this manner for an extended period of time can lead to damage (X) . As an aside, I have found no studies on the matter, but at least half of the people I know who have also had an eating disorder at one point or another intentionally weighed themselves down in some manner thinking they could burn more calories by doing whatever it was they were doing. This includes wearing training weights all the time, overfilling backpacks and carrying them around, and other things.

It’s not the exercise that is bad, it’s not the method that is bad, it’s not most of the community that is bad, but there is (and has always been, and will always be, unfortunately) a portion of it with this dangerous mindset that a person can get sucked into if they are not careful.

Due to the evidence above, it seems clear to me that Amy has gotten sucked into this mindset.

That’s just a part of it though. The restricted eating is where it gets really solidified for me.

Diet Culture and Eating Disorders

Now, obviously I’m going to be going off of human numbers, so if you wish to counterargue that ‘oh well they’re smaller/different species of course they’d need less calories’ that’s fine- feel free to do so- but just understand I personally don’t think the text was written with that sort of calculation in mind.

The average human body, even if it is a body largely at rest, needs about 2,000 calories a day to help maintain good health (X) (PLEASE ignore BMI it's a bullshit method of measurement). Various fad diets or crazes have come and gone across the centuries, with focuses on trying to achieve whatever body type was popular in that moment.

‘This will make you sexy. This will make you wanted. This will finally make someone love you. Before, you were unlovable. After, maybe you’ll have a real chance.’

Noticeably, in the fad diets of the 90s into today, the focus for a lot of people attempting to lose weight has been ‘restrict your caloric intake.’ That’s not a problem until you start cutting out foods with nutrients the body needs to survive and/or getting to under a 1,000 calories a day (X).

Despite what a lot of popular caloric or generalized eating restriction diets will tell you, if you keep your body from energy, it will go into protection mode. Protection mode is where your body acts like it is starving, because it is, thus slowing down its stash of burnable energy. Your average caloric burn then DROPS. This causes it to become harder and harder to lose weight the longer you starve yourself, which creates a vicious cycle.

Furthermore, if you are both working out and dieting, you need good caloric intake when working out in order to help facilitate building muscle. If you don’t eat properly while working out, you don’t build the muscle you should and, in fact, you can lose muscle or cause permanent damage since your muscles won’t have the tools/energy to repair themselves after workouts.

Crash diets/workouts like this are also not sustainable. There have been dozens of studies on how losing weight too quickly can be bad for the body, but beyond that, the mental tax of trying to maintain a non-maintainable lifestyle of limited eating/ overworkout often ends in a massive rebound (a rubber-banding if you wanna call it that) due to lethargy or mental fatigue (not helped by the lack of food.). That plus a brutalized metabolism will cause people to gain the weight they lost back, make it more difficult to lose, and might ultimately result in the person gaining more weight than they had previously. Again- vicious cycle. (X)

But the dieting industry, the diet culture doesn’t really care about that. It largely doesn’t care if its product or concept or whatever hurts you. Its job is to make money.

Because here’s the thing- Most people have a part of themselves, however small, that would love to change. Most people would like to be liked, to be needed, to be desired in some capacity. Due to this, a person's self worth is often tied up in some part of themself, often something that is visual, often something that, if given the opportunity, they’d change.

How does continued hunger relate to mood?

The concept of being ‘hangry’ is pretty well known. (X). Be hungry long enough, you get physically unwell, and you can unlock a special sort of anger that only comes with being hungry.

Not just that, but being hungry for extended periods of time can also cause issues with mental clarity (X).

It goes just beyond hangry though. Food and nutrition have long been understood to affect mood and mental well being, though not to the scientific degree able to be achieved today (X) . To summarize as simply as possible- your gut biome, which is dictated largely by your diet, directly impacts mental and physical wellbing. If your gut biome is maintained as it should be, then you overall will have a healthier mental state and overall feel better. If your gut biome is poor, due to undereating or lack of intake of needed nutrients, your biome will start to wither. This will directly impact your mental and physical wellbeing. (X)

I’m not going to dwell on this for terribly long, but I want to bring it up in correlation with the previous two sections because who amongst the Sonic crew is often labeled as being emotionally unstable and prone to moodswings?

Amy Rose.

Who is often fingered as having outbursts of volatile anger?

Amy Rose.

And who do we see starving themselves in game and working themselves past the point of exhaustion?

Amy Rose.

Listen, I confess this one is a bit of a stretch. It’s more of a continuation from the two other points that I sort of wanted to point out. If you can understand the previous arguments for her overworking and underfeeding herself, then this one feels like a natural third component in that and, as such, I felt it should be at least mentioned.

What I Personally Have Seen in Regards to Eating Disorders in Media while Growing Up.

Thank goodness so much has changed. I remember eating disorders taking up whole episodes in television series, whole issues in comics, whole books in novel series, and it has largely evaporated. The problem is still around, because of course it is, but it is far less of a joke now than it use to be.

When I was growing up, there were a lot- and I mean a lot- of stories that said, ‘Oh, if you were just a little better, someone would love you. Someone will notice you. If you were prettier, cooler, thinner, buffer, whatever- people would notice you. Someone would love you. Maybe even that specific person you wish could love you back.’

‘If you just tried a little harder, maybe it’ll happen.’

And you saw this in the real world, in the marketing, in the fashion, everywhere. Advertisements pushed that if you didn’t fit this very specific, narrow, palatable concept of beauty, then you weren’t worth anyone’s time.

When this was portrayed in media, it often manifested directly into characters doing insane things to change themselves. Sometimes it was their style of dress, or their personality. Oftentimes, it would manifest in them trying to get buff or be thin.

With a lot of stories, the character often came to the conclusion of, ‘Hey, just be you. You’re good as you- don’t do things to impress other people. Don’t be who you’re not because you feel you have to.’

But it was a coinflip as to whether or not the story would prove that to be wrong or true.

Worse still, even if the lesson was still ‘just be you,’ the whole ordeal was often portrayed as a joke.

Specifically, women- girls- working out to exhaustion, starving themselves, was portrayed as a joke.

If the goal of the story was for comedy, and the end had the character revert back to who they were previously, it can usually be put into one of two categories:

‘How could you be so stupid? How could you believe you ever needed to change? How dumb are you to fall for social pressure like that?’

or-

‘How could you be so stupid? How could you believe you could change? You’re not strong enough to change. You’re too you to ever be liked.’

On that note, let’s back up and return to Amy.

I’m the sort of person that’s got a narrow focus when it comes to Sonic properties. Specifically, if it’s not game canon, it’s not canon to me.

However, in understanding that other canons exist, other properties within the Sonic universe exist, I won’t ignore them. Even if I don’t think they’re canon, if there is a throughline within, I cannot help but to notice.

So it’s with this in mind that I ask you: Do you know of Sonic Spin and Dash?

It’s a manga. Put out in the early 00’s, it was a little series of comics that focused on Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Shadow, and Eggman having arbitrary interactions. They’re largely cute and lighthearted. I couldn’t tell you officially what the official age demographic would be for them, but I’d have to guess something fairly young.

Volume 6 is titled, ‘A Maiden's High-Tech Diet.’ In it, Amy freaks out about having gained 3 kilos/ about 7 pounds. Despite the fact that she’s a growing girl, this deeply upsets her. She asks Tails and Sonic not to eat (in front of her? At all? Unsure.) while she’s trying to diet. Eggman shows up and offers her a solution- a diet machine that will help her achieve the weight and look she wants so deeply. 3 days later, Amy approaches Sonic again.

She’s emaciated. Wobbling in from off-stage, unable to even speak a sentence without pausing, she asks Sonic if she’s looking thinner.

Let me rephrase- she’s asking if she looks ‘thin enough’.

Eggman, via his dieting ‘robot’ which really is just a mech he’s hiding inside, asks Amy and co. to perform more insane tasks to weaken them and cause them to be too exhausted to fight him. However, even during this, Amy has other ‘slimming’ products that she’s bought which she uses to defeat Eggman.

In the end, everyone exhausts Eggman, causing him to give up his scheme and leave. By the end of all of it, he himself is looking thin, having worked off much of his weight in this charade.

It’s just played off as a joke.

Alright, but that was early 00’s. How’s Sega been about Amy now?

Well, this hasn’t really come up in games again, thank goodness. I reiterate- times have changed, and I’m very glad about that. That doesn’t mean this sort of thing is entirely gone, however. This image is from Sonic Channel in 2022 (X).

The image is accompanied by this caption:

---

“Otome Straight!” Emmy is passionate about boxercise , saying it's perfect for dieting

Indoor training on rainy days is perfect! Bouncing the punching bag and working up a good sweat with Emel's support

"Mom, do your best. Ato Sukoshi."

Let's keep a healthy body with training for the rainy season !

---

Once again, we have this focus on dieting and food reduction. Again, not a bad thing- perfectly normal- but the reason I take pause is because of the crossed out icecream picture.

@mysuperlaserpiss - I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to bring up your comment on that initial post I put out.

…Yeah. Yeah, I 100% agree.

So when conversations around eating disorders comes up, one of the first things to discuss is, ‘what is your relationship to food?’ Essentially, it boils down to: do you see food as fuel and that it is a normal thing to have, or do you see it is something you have to earn/avoid? (X)

Amy beating the shit out of a punching bag sporting a crossed out picture of icecream, talking about dieting, smacks of, ‘you see food as something you have to earn/avoid,’ to me. It’s as simple as that. This appears as though she’s beating the desire for certain foods out of herself. Simply put, that’s not healthy.

Okay, so what?

Man, I don’t know.

I don’t know, alright? I don’t know.

I’m biased. I was inundated with the idea of ‘you need to be better’ from a young age from all angles. I am strong, but not appealingly buff. I am not what I'd call heavy, but I'm most certainly not appealingly slim and doctors have always bitched about my BMI (which again- terrible system to work off of). Not that long ago, I was hiding weights under my pant legs even in the dead of summer thinking the extra weight on me when I moved about my day would help me burn calories. Not that long ago, I was walking around 30km/18 miles a week on top of doing several hours of intense exercise a week, all while only taking in around only 500 cal a day. I am constantly combating the idea that i need to deserve to eat, but if I eat, I won’t be loveable. Yeah, I’m doing better- significantly so- but I am a biased, untrustworthy source to write about this and I recognize that. I am biased because I’ve been through it. I am biased because I have lived this very specific, isolating nightmare, and no matter how much better I am now, there are still days where all I can manage is a couple hard boiled eggs and maybe canned low-sodium fish.

I don’t know what to tell you. All I know is what I’ve been through, and when I look at Amy, when I look at her storylines through the games, I see a portion of me that I never would ever want to see in anyone else.

I see someone desperate to be wanted. I see someone disoriented and angry from lack of food. I see someone hurting themselves thinking it's normal to do so. I see someone trying and trying and trying so hard to fit this idea of ‘perfect’ and falling short.

There’s a lot of conversation right now around Amy’s character. How she was presented in early games vs now is significantly different, so of course it would be a subject of conversation. Sega seems to be trying to bring the characters into a new age, both in terms of the 2020’s and in terms of the characters' age themselves. There are those that say that Amy’s new presentation is due to her becoming older and more mature, while others argue that she’s become a shadow of her former self.

I can see both sides of the argument. Of course I can- I’ve been with this characters since almost the beginning. Still, when I look at the changes in Amy Rose, when I look at how happy she is, how energetic and content, my knee-jerk reaction isn’t to start wagging fingers.

It’s just, ‘Ah. Good. She’s eating.’

#amy rose #eating disorders #tw // ed #tw // eating disorder #tw // self harm #headcanon #*drags hands down face* I'm glad I finally got to write this- I've been wanting to write this for a long time- but wow I feel sick

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trippinsorrows · 1 day

Text

with me + part five

authors notes: hi! you guys are so freaking awesome and sweet and like gawww, so grateful for such kind words and support!

so i realized that i used the wwe names for jimmy, jey, naomi, etc. that was my bad. i'll be using their real names moving forward for the sake of flow and consistency.

also keep forgetting to state that current timeline is 2023. like, this chapter is fall 2023. everything, so far, post breakup for joe and reader has been 2023. i plan to follow that timeline, so make of that what you will.

i hope this chapter isn't too boring to people!

warnings: fluff, language, suggestive content

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

words: 5.7k

tags: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wonderingfashion

“So, are we just going to continue to ignore each other?”

You’re not sure how, but you sense his presence long before he even says anything. And instantly, your mood is dampened, not that you were in the best spirits to begin with. You didn’t get much sleep the night before, for reasons you cannot fathom. But, it’s annoying as hell, especially when you have an ex turned fuck buddy who can’t seem to get a fucking clue ready to confront you outside of your daughter's preschool.

Sighing heavily, you pull out your phone to play around with your lock screen, because you really don’t have anyone you need to message in this moment. But, he doesn’t need to know that. “Not now, Amir.”

“Because you’re so busy?”

“Because I don’t care.” One thing you’ve learned about yourself over the years is that once you’re annoyed with someone, there’s no filter on your mouth and you cannot be held liable for what comes out of it. “Now, please, go away.”

He just looks at you, sun shining down on his waves and chocolate complexion. It’s unfortunate outside of his looks that he’s an overall trash partner. Decent friend. Shitty boyfriend. “You always do that shit, you know? Pull and then push. It was kinda cute when we were kids. Now, it’s just annoying.”

You were standing outside of Callie’s preschool, waiting for the kids to be dismissed, waiting for your little girl to come running out with a smile on her face, request on the tip of her tongue. It’s usually something small like wanting to show you what she learned in school. Lately, it’s been the same.

Can I call Joe?

A part of you feels bad for the amount of calls he probably gets in one day just from Callie alone. She took your offer for her to call him whenever he was available to another degree, not that he minded. He took as many as he could, listening to her talk and talk about whatever happened to be on her mind in that moment. And you let her.

What kind of mother would you be if you stopped her from talking to her dad? Even if she doesn’t know that’s who he is.

It’s been almost two weeks since he left, and she clearly misses him. You often overhear her asking about when he’s coming again. You also receive those questions. It’s something you and him discuss via text but haven’t landed on a date yet.

Communicating with Joe is also something that’s still an adjustment. It’s not as difficult or uncomfortable, because it’s almost entirely about Callie, but still.

“If that’s the case, why do you bother?” You manage a less insensitive tone, even if you know good and well you’ve never led this man on. Amir has always heard and believed what he wanted to believe. That was the problem. He never listened to you.

“Because I fucking care about your annoying ass, duh.”

His delivery, the tone, and cadence. You laugh. It’s probably inappropriate at the moment, but it does bring a smile to his face as well. “Softie.”

He moves closer to you, arms crossed. “I’m serious, Y/N. You know how I feel about you. How I’ve always felt about you.”

Leaning against your car, you respond as calmly as you can, “and you know I’ve always made it clear I’m not looking for anything more. We had our time, Amir. It didn’t work out. Now we just help each other get off. I don’t know why you keep trying to make it more than what it is.”

“A date. One date,” he implores. A waste of time, because your answer is no. It’s been no and will continue to be no. “You haven’t even given ‘adult’ us a chance.”

There’s a headache in your near future, one that’s reminiscent of past ones only Amir seems to induce. It’s interesting how he went from indifferent asshole to clingy asshole. You almost miss the earlier version.

Chocolate was supposed to be good for the soul, so why was he so draining to yours?

“Amir…..” You try to pick your words carefully and be mindful of your tone. “This is getting real old. I think we need to stop messing around, because we’re clearly not on the same page.” The next part is something you probably shouldn’t share, but you call yourself trying to be open and clear. “Calista’s dad is back, and we’re trying to navigate coparenting, so—”

“What?” He stops you, shock written over his handsome face. “Are you serious? You’re letting that motherfucker back in ya’ll life?”

This time, it’s his tone that jumps, accusatory and harsh. You immediately grow defensive. “You don’t know him.”

“God, why do you defend him like this? Is it that Stockholm Syndrome shit? He left you. He left you and his kid. What kind of man does that? And you’re just letting him back in? Just gonna jump back on his dick? Letting him around Callie? She’s old enough now to remember when he decides to leave again. I don’t get how you don’t see that. You her mama. You supposed to look out for her.”

And now, you’re done trying to be nice, trying to be mindful that he’s still another human being with feelings. Because one thing you never have and never will tolerate is someone insinuating you’re not looking out for your daughter. You’re not perfect, but you know that you’re a devoted, dutiful mother.

“It’s obvious comprehension isn’t your strong suit, which I should have known based off the fact that I always had to help your dumbass do your homework back when we were in school.” All bets….off. “My baby? My life? My pussy? All my business. You don’t get to judge the decisions I make for my child nor the role that her father has in her life. That’s between me and him. Keep your nose out my fucking business. Don’t worry about me hitting you up anymore. That’s dead.”

Your rose will do just fine. Hell, there’s gotta be at least one other eligible bachelor in town you could fuck if absolutely need be. But, you know damn well you won’t be messaging Amir anymore. He comes with too much baggage. It’s not worth it. You refuse to let a nigga whose height starts with a 5 stress you out.

True to his nature, he starts gaslighting you. Typical Amir. “There you go overreacting and shit.”

“No, I’m not. You’re trying to question my parenting when you don’t know shit about shit.”

He sucks his teeth, rolling his eyes. This was why people used to say you had a temper in high school. Because of him. Because he loved to tell people what you said but never what he did. Always tried to make you feel crazy. Truth be told, you’re stupid for even opening that door with him again, even if it’s just for sex.

“Whatever, Y/N.” He turns to walk back over to his car. You really wish his damn sister would change her work schedule so she can pick up her son instead of this asshole. You’ll catch a case fucking with his dumbass. “I’ll wait for your text.”

He’ll be waiting. “Fuck you, Amir.”

You should be more mindful of your language at a damn preschool, but Amir has managed to get under your skin, something that hasn’t happened since you were in college. You know a good part of it is because you’re sleep deprived, but you also know it’s partially because of his dig at Joe.

You understand the optics seem to indicate that he’s a deadbeat, but you’ve expressed to Amir countless times that it was a complicated situation. He didn’t know the specifics, but you made it clear Joe didn’t abandon you or Callie. That’s just the narrative Amir keeps running with, and now with Joe being back in your life and especially in Callie’s life, you’re not gonna let it continue.

“Mommy!” Your head snaps to see and feel Callie run up to and hug her body against your leg. “Boo!”

Shit. Did she hear any of that? You hope not and paste on a smile that’s hopefully authentic enough to sell that everything is fine. “Callie Bear.” You lean down and pick her up, kissing her cheek. “Did you have a good day?”

She nods and starts explaining the activities while you buckle her into her carseat, trying your best to calm down and not give away your high stress levels in that moment. Callie is super perceptive, and you don’t want to ruin the obviously great day she’s had.

And sure enough, as you’re putting on your seatbelt and starting up the car, the golden question is shouted with pre-excitement.

“Can I call Joe when I get home?”

Smiling at her through the rearview mirror, you answer, “yes, you can.”

In the almost two weeks that have passed since Joe’s departure, not one day has passed that Callie doesn’t asks to call Joe or just outright helps yourself to her iPad to call him. Sometimes several times a day during the weekends. And she’ll talk to him for as long as she can, as long as he’s able to hold a conversation with her. You’ll give it to him, he’s done an exceptional job handling all of it. On some level, you wonder if you should set some restrictions or time parameters, but how do you limit how much a daughter interacts with her father?

Callie rejoices at your approval and requests for you to put on the Disney playlist you made specifically for her on Spotify.

The drive, no more than 10 minutes, consists of the two of you singing along to a few Disney tunes. It’s a bit of a tradition between you, a way to bond via your shared love of Disney. A love that ties not only you to her but to the women before you. Your mom and grandma.

Arriving to your apartment complex, you decide to leave your work bag in the car. It’s Thanksgiving break. You most likely won’t do any work until the day or two before having to return.

You do carry Callie on your hip and swing her bag around your shoulder, walking the two of you up to the second floor. Sometimes, you regret not accepting the apartment they had available on the first floor. The older you get, the less your joints like to cooperate, your almost 15 years of cheer probably taking a toll on your body.

And just age in general.

But your regret quickly turns to a level of gratitude when you reach your door.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Dropping Callie to the floor, she’s of the complete opposite reaction, gasping and smiling broadly.

“Look mommy, more boxes!”

The smile is strained but you manage to maintain it, sticking the key in the door, unlocking and pushing it open.

She walks in, and you place her bag on the floor near the door, one foot keeping it open. “What do you think it is?” She asks as you pick them up and bring them inside, kicking the door closed behind you.

You know exactly what it is. What it all is.

Gifts.

From Joe.

In his absence, you’ve had several deliveries waiting outside your door when you got home from work and picking Callie up. And all of them were for Callie, gifts of variable nature but all of them things she loves. Disney, stuffed animals, dolls. Essentially anything that could make a 4 year old feel like she’s won the lottery.

She’s literally bouncing on her toes, already with her kids scissors in her hands.

When the hell did she grab those?

“Can I open them, please? Please?”

A part of you wants to say no, save them for christmas gifts, though you’re almost entirely certain he’ll have another set of gifts for her then. And it seems almost cruel to make her wait over a month when she knows there are presents waiting for her.

“Sure, but….” You scamper into the kitchen and grab your adult size scissors, returning and showing her. “Let mommy cut them, and then you open them.”

You don’t need this child accidentally cutting herself. Again, medical bills are not in the budget, especially around the holidays. Money’s already tight to some extent.

Not that….not that it’d be much of an issue with Callie. You’d never fix your moth to ask Joe for anything, especially not financially, but if it was something involving your daughter, you’re pretty sure your tune would change. It would still bother you to ask for help, but you know he’d have zero qualms helping you out.

He’d probably pay for it in its entirety.

Your proposition pleases her. “Okay!” She places her scissors on the nearest flat surface and sits down, legs crossed, bouncing impatiently.

Chuckling, you glide your scissors across, careful not to open anything. You want to save that moment for her and your plan.

Once done, you place the scissors on the kitchen island and reach for your phone. “Wait before you open, baby.”

Immediately, she frowns and scowls, “whyyyyyy.”

Rolling your eyes, you sit on the floor too to be at her eye level and open Snapchat. “Okay, now.”

You hit record and watch intermittently through and outside of the screen as she opens the boxes, smile permanent and excitement palpable. She especially gets excited when she pulls out a freaking box of the new Little Mermaid and all of her sisters. More….dolls.

“Look, mommy!!!” She then grabs a doll who has a surprisingly similar complexion and curl pattern to hers, holding it against her face. “She looks like me!”

“She does,” you agree, realizing it’s a customized American Girl doll. Damn. Those things can run up to $200. You weren’t stupid, knowing Joe’s probably spent more money on Callie alone in two weeks than you’ve spent all year, but just how much has he spent?

It’s when she opens the final box, surrounded by nothing but toys and packaging that you’re already dreading having to stuff all this in your trash bin, “what do you say, baby?”

Callie hugs the American Doll close to her chest and directs to the camera, “thank you, Joe!” She gasps and adds on, “I miss you, but mommy said I can call you tonight!”

You hold back your giggle and agree, adding, “after she helps mommy clean up all this.”

Her smile drops, pout returning, “I hate cleaning.”

Snickering, you mutter, “you and me too, sis.”

You end the video, save it and enter Joe’s chat to attach the video, adding a message.

You: You’re spoiling her, Joe. 😫 This is the third delivery this week alone.

You’re able to clean up some of the packaging and throw it away before your phone chimes with his response. Callie has grabbed the amount you expected her to grab and discard. Her attention span is trash at the moment. She’s a child surrounded by toys. It’s expected.

Joe: She's my little girl. Of course, I’m gonna spoil her.

Joe: There should be another one by the weekend. If not, let me know.

You sigh aloud, this man is gonna have your place looking like freaking KB Toys.

You: Omg

You: ….You know I live in an APARTMENT, right? Just where the hell am I supposed to put all of this stuff?

It’s sweet he’s so keen on gifting her these things, but he also has to realize you’re not living in a mansion in Malibu. And despite having a child who leaves messes wherever she goes, you do your best to keep your place tidy.

If you didn’t know Joe, didn’t see how easily he connected with Callie, you’d maybe accuse him of trying to “buy” her love. But, you know that’s not the case, know that he clearly just wants to make her happy. You just hope he knows that he does that all by himself, no gifts needed.

Joe: She has a whole playroom.

You: Yes. Playroom, not Toys-R-Us.

Joe: 🤷🏽‍♂️

You: 🙄 You’re aggravating.

He doesn’t say anything after that, so you decide to finish cleaning because at some point your child wandered off, most likely to her playroom to add all her new stuff with her slightly new stuff. Taking advantage of the alone time, you also decide to text your mom to figure out thanksgiving plans. Specifically, what drink, dessert, and/or condiments she wants you to bring because you damn well know she won’t ask you to cook.

She still hasn’t forgiven you for that accidental fire that one year.

And it’s when you’re sitting on the sofa, also starting to think about black friday plans that your mind wanders, your anxiety grows out of nowhere.

You’ve taken the approach to not have any say in Joe’s relationship with Callie, to intervene only when absolutely necessary. And as that hasn’t hasn’t occurred, you’ve not done so. You let him and her do their thing. But a small part of you wonders if you should put some parameters around Callie. She calls him several times a day, Joe, who spends more time on the road than there are days in the year.

You know he wants to establish a relationship with her, but that can be done with boundaries. Anxiety getting the best of you, you grab your phone and shoot him a text.

You: Is it okay if she calls you today? I know it’s been a lot, and if too much, just let me know. I’ll talk to her.

His reply comes almost immediately this time around.

Joe: She can call me 100 times. I don’t care. I wanna talk to her.

And instantly, the anxiety is almost non-existent. Deep down, you know this is what he wants. He wants to have interaction with her, and incessant Facetime calls are the only option with his crazy schedule, so it’s what he takes. It’s what he wants.

Pleased and no longer stressing over an issue that was never an issue, you lock your phone and place it back at your side. A quick glance at the clock reminds you that it’s almost time for Callie’s bath.

A couple minutes later, your phone dings with a text notification. From Joe.

You open it right away.

Joe: This weekend. Don’t tell her. I wanna surprise her.

You have to read it a couple of times before it registers. He’s coming back in town. This weekend. As in less than two days. You’re excited at this, happy as well. For Callie. But also, for yourself. Why? You haven’t a clue, well, maybe there’s a slight clue, but you don’t want to acknowledge that right now.

You simply want to focus on the fact that you’re happy your daughter will be happy her dad is town.

Who cares that you will be too.

________

Joe’s just walked out the bathroom, having showered and almost entirely prepped for bed when his phone rings.

Moving over to the hotel nightstand, he’s surprised when he sees Callie’s smiling face filling his screen. A glance at the clock in the corner of his phone reads 11:06, which means it’s 9:06 her time. Well past her bedtime. What is she doing up?

Curious, and regardless, he answers the phone. It takes a second for the connection to finalize when it does, he’s instantly smiling, mostly because it’s Callie but also because of her setup.

It’s obvious she’s under a blanket, a flashlight in the corner illuminating the space, a stuffed animal in her lap.

She’s the first to speak, her voice both loud and hushed in a way only she can do. “hi!”

“Hi, sweetheart.” He can’t help but ask almost immediately, “what are you doing up?” As he told you, he’d talk to her 24/7 if he could. And even though this call is unexpected and appreciated, she’s also a 4-year-old kid who needs her sleep.

Her little shoulders lift in a shrug. “I can’t sleep.”

Nodding, he follows up with, “where’s mommy?”

“Sleeping,” she answers with a level of disappointment. “I don’t wanna wake her up. She had a bad day.”

“Really?” Joe moves around so he’s laying on the bed, on his side, phone propped on the nightstand. “How do you know?”

“Cause–cause she was yelling at Mr. Amir, and–and he was yelling at her too.”

Joe hasn’t a clue why, but that instantly upsets him. Who the fuck is this Amir person, and who the hell does he think he is to raise his voice at you? Around Callie of all people.

“Who is Mr. Amir?” Joe hates asking her all of these questions, but it’s also hard not to.

“The basketball coach at the school for big kids.” She’s caressing the fur of the stuffed animal in her lap. “Aunt Mariah said he was mommy’s boyfriend when she was a big kid.”

“Really.” It’s not really a question as much as it is a general statement. Joe doesn’t know why he’s suddenly annoyed, not with Callie, but the entire situation. And definitely this Amir person even more now. He’s an ex. He dated you. It shouldn’t make him feel any type of way, but it does, and he hates that shit.

He hates a man he’s never even met.

“I don’t like Mr. Amir,” Callie suddenly announces with a scowl. Same, kid. Same. Joe looks at her, seeing so much of you in her right now. He knows you’ve mentioned how you see a lot of him in Callie, but when she’s glowering like this, she’s 100% her mama’s daughter. “He made mommy mad today.”

“Has he ever been mean to you?” Joe has to ask, because he’s also realizing a part of him is upset at the thought of Callie being around men. You’re a grown woman and allowed to do what you want, but bringing men around Callie….that’s an absolute fucking no.

He doesn’t give a damn if he’s only been in her life for two weeks or two minutes. She’s his daughter, and outside of himself and family, who you date should be kept far away from his daughter.

Joe mentally prepares to have this conversation—potential argument—with you.

“No,” she answers, slightly calmer. “He doesn’t like Disney.” She says it like it’s a sin, like it’s almost inconceivable for anyone to not like Disney.

Playing along with this, Joe gasps, grateful for the distraction that is Callie’s intricacies. “He sucks.”

“Yeah, he sucks,” she agrees, nodding. Joe has to keep his smile to himself. “Do you say bad words?”

The randomness and topic change take him by surprise, but he’s learning that you weren’t exaggerating when you said Callie was filled with incessant, unrelated questions. “Sometimes.”

“Mommy does too,” she reveals. “Grandma says Jesus doesn’t want us to say bad words, but I heard grandma call Ms. Beverly from church a bitch.”

At that, Joe can’t help his laughter. Her delivery, the punctuation she puts on the word ‘bitch’, to how she seems to not even process that she’s just said a bad word. It’s hilarious. “Well, sometimes grown ups say things we shouldn’t, and you just make sure you’re not saying things you shouldn’t.”

“Okay,” she agrees, almost sheepishly. And then, a yawn. “I’m sleepy.”

Joe knew she was from the moment she called, but he had a feeling she just needed to get the whole Amir thing off her chest. She doesn’t seem like the child who likes to or even can hold things in, which is preferable. “You should try to go to sleep then, sweetheart.”

She wipes at her eyes, expression suddenly saddened. “When are you coming back? You’ve been gone a really long time.”

He’s torn in this moment, wanting to tell her that he’ll be there this weekend but also not wanting to get her hopes up in case something comes up. There’s few things that could come up to keep him from going to see her, wrestling be damned, but still. Life has a way of lifing. So, he goes with the safe yet disappointing answer.

“Soon, I promise.” She’s clearly indifferent to this answer and doesn’t say anything, instead shifts on her bed, moving to lay down. “You should really try to sleep, Callie.”

Eyes starting to blink, clearly her exhaustion catching up with her, she asks, softly, “will you stay with me till I fall asleep?”

Her request tugs at his heartstrings. “Of course, sweetie.”

Seemingly pleased by this answer, she closes her eyes, and he watches. He stares at this tiny human whose existence he only learned about not even a month ago yet would do anything to make happy. Joe thinks about Callie constantly, finds himself smiling at the thought of some of the Snapchat videos you’d send him of her in all of her randomness. She was so entertaining, so full of life, a genuinely happy kid. His kid.

And it’s why he’s going to find out more about this Amir guy and why Amir is having any type of interaction with his daughter.

________

Joe: You should know she called me last night.

You’re in the middle of perusing early Black Friday deals, needing to budget for that now and taking full advantage of Callie being down for a nap. However, you frown, reading his message, not understanding why he’s stating the obvious. You were there when she asked for the iPad and when she returned it after the call was finished.

You: I’m aware….

Joe: No. After that.

Your eyebrows arch together, confused.

You: What? when?

Joe: It was 11 my time, so 9 yours.

You gasp, typing away, wondering how the hell she snuck in your room and managed a whole ass Facetime call without you hearing shit. Were you really that damn exhausted?

You: What the hell was she doing up at 9? What did she say? No wonder she was crabby this morning.

Joe: She said she couldn’t sleep.

You: A bad dream?

Joe: Naw, said you got into an argument with someone named Amir earlier that day and didn’t want to bother you….I think it was bothering her.

Your stomach twists at that. You had a feeling she’d overheard the incident with Amir, but you prayed that you were wrong. Clearly, you weren’t.

Joe: Who is Amir?

You pause at Joe’s question. Why is he asking this? What business of his is Amir? Irritation washes over you, but is waned by realizing he’s probably asking because of Callie. As her father, he has a right to know if you’re with someone, because for all he knows that someone could be around his daughter.

You really are trying with this co-parenting thing.

You: A lot of things. A pain in the ass being the most recent one.

You: We dated in high school and college on and off. He’s the basketball coach at our local high school.

It’s more information than probably what’s necessary, but there’s this small, conflicting part of you that wants him to know you have no ties to Amir. That there are no feelings there and haven’t been for literal years.

That you’re not with Amir.

Joe: Are you dating him again? Why were you arguing around Callie?

The interrogating is getting old, but you’re trying to play nice. Coparent peacefully. His delivery is off, but he has valid questions.

Sorta.

You: No. We just….we fuck around from time to time. He tries to make it more than what it is. Was about that.

You: I was waiting for her to be released from pre-school, and he picks up his nephew for his sister. It just happened, and I didn’t know/mean for her to hear.

Honestly, you’re more worried and concerned about Callie and how to approach this with her without making her feel like she was in trouble. Yes, she knows damn well she shouldn’t be on the iPad that late at night, but can you really be mad at her for talking to her dad about something that upset her?

Joe: You bring him around her?

You absolutely can be mad though at her dad who’s about to make you cuss him out next too. All of the questions are becoming too much. He gets to be concerned, but he doesn’t get to micromanage and invade.

Feeling petty and recalcitrant, you type out a reply that you should probably think twice before sending.

But fuck it.

You: No. I only ride his dick at his place. 🙂

There’s a small ounce of regret for being so crude, but not a whole lot. He knows how you are, or he should, at least.

To some extent.

But your phone rings again, and you find yourself staring mouth agape at his reply.

Joe: You may ride his dick, but you had my kid. Clearly, only one of us knows how to please you.

Your face is burning hot, and you hate how you shift in your seat. Why the fuck would he say that? You want to say it’s inappropriate, but you also opened this door.

Is he entirely wrong?

Slapping away that wild ass thought, you focus on the real conversation at hand here. It takes a couple of rewrites before you ultimately decide to change the subject.

You: I’ve never bought any man around her and never will that’s not you, if that’s what you’re asking.

You’re grateful to see he’s also agreeing to change the subject.

Joe: It is. Thank you.

Rolling your eyes, you send a text back, getting back to being annoyed at his 21 Questions. This is a two-way street, and since he’s opened this door, why not?

You: You know that goes both ways though. I don’t want her around any bitches.

Joe: Seriously?

Joe: There’s no one for me to bring her around.

You…..you don’t know how to feel about that, don’t know how to feel about the bit of relief you feel at this message. Why should you feel relieved? Even if there was, that’s his business, and he’s allowed to….do whatever it is that he does.

It reminds you and brings you to your next topic.

You: What about your wife? We need to figure that out as well. She’s eventually going to need to know about Calista and will probably be around her at some point. I get she’s your wife, but I’m Callie’s mother, I need to be there whenever you wanna introduce Callie. I need to be involved in that process as well.

He doesn’t reply.

________

Joe doesn’t really get mad.

Not often at least and definitely not outwardly.

It’s always been his thing to never let anyone have access to that “button” that triggers his anger, and for the most part, it works well.

Except for when it comes to you.

You’ve always been able to trigger many things for him, anger being one of them.

He knows he should have spoken to you in person about the situation, or even over the phone. But with the craziness of his schedule and differing time zones, he just decided to message you, and while it didn’t go horribly, it didn’t go great. He knows you’re annoyed with him.

Hence your crudity.

Joe also refuses to admit that the thought of you fucking this kid pisses him the fuck off, even though you’re not together, even though he has no right to be upset.

But goddamn that doesn’t make him any less upset or annoyed at the thought of someone else touching you.

“Uce?” Jon asks, standing at the door before inventing himself in Joe’s locker room for this week’s Smackdown. “You ready to talk man?”

At that, Joe looks confused. “Talk about what?”

“Whatever it is that got you all worked up.” The twins have always been very perceptive, even back when they were all kids. Joe might be good at hiding his frustration from others but not them. The difference between Jon and Josh though has always been Josh has the wherewithal to not say anything.

Jon hasn’t caught on to that just yet.

“I’m fine,” Joe dismisses, hoping it’s enough to dead the conversation, even though he knows better.

“Lie detector determined that was a goddamn lie.” Jon can be pushy, but he means well, and truthfully, Joe doesn’t have a strong desire to outright shut down this conversation. A different perspective is always beneficial.

Usually.

So, he explains it all, starting with his call with Callie and ending with the text exchange between him and you.

“I see,” Jon nods, clearly absorbing all of this information. Finally, he concludes, “so you’re jealous.”

That’s the first thing to evoke a genuine laugh out of Joe since his exchange with Y/N. “I’m not jealous.”

“And I’m not a twin,” Jon dismisses. “Look, Uce, it’s obvious you still got feelings for ole girl. You ask me, I don’t think you ever got over her—”

“I didn’t ask you.”

“--Now you sitting up here annoyed cause she fucking Coach Carter nephew instead of doing something about it.” Joe rolls his eyes. “I mean have you even told her about you and J—”

“No,” he interrupts, swiftly. “Not yet, at least.”

Nodding, Jon speaks again after a minute of silence. “All I’m saying is ya’ll got the history, got the connection, got the kid too! Don’t see why you need to be letting Jesus Shuttlesworth steal your girl.”

At that, Joe chuckles. One thing his cousins will always be good for, especially Jon, is comedic relief. Even some sound advice from time to time.

“Thanks.”

Joe is, surprisingly, thankful for the equally surprising advice from his cousin. He’s not entirely sure if he’s really jealous or just overreacting for a reason he hasn’t quite uncovered, but he is starting to lean more on the side of he does still have some level of feelings for Y/N.

It’s not a complete shock. He had a feeling when he reacted so strongly to just seeing your picture. It was the whole Callie situation and finding out how you kept her from him that made his vision murky.

But, as his relationship with her strengthens, the clearer he can see.

The clearer his feelings are becoming. Now. it’s just a matter of figuring out what to do with said feelings.

And find out where you stand as well.

Joe remains quiet, thinking more and more how this might end up being an eventful trip.

#roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns #roman reigns fic #black writers #arisnotebook

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septembercfawkes · 3 days

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How to Fix Talking Heads in Your Story

What is "Talking Heads"?

"Talking heads" or "talking heads syndrome" is a term used in the creative writing community for a passage of dialogue where all that exists is the dialogue. To the reader, it feels as if heads are floating in space, talking. We don't get any description. We don't get any blocking. We don't get any introspection. Just talking. As an example, it shows up like this.

“Happy Birthday, Cherie!”

“Oh thanks.”

“So, you have any big plans?”

“Nothing much. Just a family thing.”

“Cool, I was thinking we could go to that escape room? It’s tiki themed.”

“My favorite.”

“It’ll be awesome.”

“Is it even solvable with two people?”

“We’ll tell them it’s your birthday.”

While the dialogue itself could maybe use some work, this passage is a problem because the reader doesn't know where the characters are, what they look like, or what they are doing.

And even if the scene did convey those things in the opening, straight dialogue like this that goes on and on, often has a weird effect on the reader, similar to that of having a blindfold on. (And simply adding dialogue tags isn't enough to fix the problem.)

Instead, it's more effective to flesh out the scene, so the audience feels as if they are there, experiencing the story for themselves.

Fixing Talking Heads

When telling a story, we use five types of lines: dialogue, description, blocking, introspection, and summary.

So the fix seems easy right?

Just add some other lines.

I mean, obviously we aren't going to fix the passage by adding more dialogue, nor does using summary make much sense. So that leaves us with description, blocking, and introspection.

Fair enough . . . but . . . if you add the wrong lines, it can create new problems.

Consider the passage with these lines added:

“Happy Birthday, Cherie!”

“Oh thanks,” I said, while a jogger ran down the street.

“So, you have any big plans?”

“Nothing much. Just a family thing.”

“Cool, I was thinking we could go to that escape room? It’s tiki themed.” Tiffany had thick, curling hair and eyes the color of pond water. A scar shaped like a bullet hole marred the bottom of her chin.

“My favorite.” I put a hand on my hip.

“It’ll be awesome.”

I wished I hadn't eaten a donut for breakfast. “Is it even solvable with two people?”

“We’ll tell them it’s your birthday.”

Tiffany sneezed. On my neighbor's doorstep sat a package.

Does this read . . . odd to you?

It should.

The jogger seems a bit random, and we get a description of Tiffany too late. And why do we need to know Cherie wished she hadn't eaten a donut, in the middle of a conversation? Why should we care about a package? Other lines, like the hand on the hip, feel like a lost opportunity to put in something more meaningful.

If the dialogue is what is driving a scene forward, then you don't want to pick lines that detract from it. You want to pick lines that support or enhance the scene--that provide context or create subtext, or that at least feel natural to your viewpoint character. Would Cherie notice a package on her neighbor's doorstep right now? Unless we've established a motive behind that prior, probably not.

When fixing talking heads, it's not enough to just insert whatever comes to mind. You need to choose lines that do the following:

- Add context

- Reveal character

- Reveal the characters' current emotions

- Create subtext

- Add emphasis

- Naturally enhance the setting (without being distracting)

And one of the best pieces of advice is to give your character something meaningful to do. Even if it's not strictly meaningful to the main plot (but bonus points if it is), it could be an activity that is meaningful to the character (which also reveals character), like tying fishing flies or training a border collie or finishing a cosplay. Try not to have too many conversations take place over meals, unless food is an important element of your particular story. Too many beginning writers grab meals for the backdrop of conversations far too often, so it can feel cliche.

Here is a better way to fix our talking heads example:

I zipped outside and beelined for my car, but Tiffany's high-pitched voice hit me before I spotted her curled mane of hair.

"Happy Birthday, Cherie!" She waved and shut her apartment door.

"Oh thanks." I flashed what I hoped was a grateful smile, then quickly dug in my purse for my keys. Why hadn't I gotten them out beforehand?

"So, you have any big plans?" Her high heels clinked closer.

I didn't make eye contact. "Nothing much. Just a family thing." I lingered on the word "family."

"Cool." Tiffany picked a hangnail. "I was thinking we could go to that escape room? It’s tiki themed."

My voice went flat. "My favorite."

"Come on, it’ll be awesome." She shook my arm at the precise moment I'd found my keys. They dropped to the cement.

"Is it even solvable with two people?"

I knew for certain, it wasn't solvable with one. This wasn't a gift. Tiffany was friendless.

"We’ll tell them it’s your birthday."

I opened my car door.

In this example, the description, blocking, and introspection add to the conversation in ways that feel natural. They provide context, reveal character (including the narrator's emotional state), and create subtext (Cherie actually doesn't want to go to the escape room with Tiffany).

So not only are they fixing the talking heads problem, but they are fixing them in ways that are meaningful to the story.

With all this said though, any writing rule can be broken. So I want to close by acknowledging that talking heads can work, if talking heads is the effect you want to create. In Ender's Game, Orson Scott Card intentionally uses talking heads at the start of many of his chapters, as Graff and Anderson discuss Ender's current situation. The instances are short and, to some degree, work as teasers, and where Graff and Anderson are exactly and what they are doing, aren't particularly important, so Card gets away with it.

#let's write #writeblr #writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writing tip #writing reference #writblr

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sarcastictissy · 2 days

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I have a lot of lovely asks and messages from people that I'm not able to respond to yet, but I just want to genuinely thank all of you for it ❤️ I was worried I was letting people down, but I'm so very thankful for everyone that reassured me otherwise. I will respond to you all. I'm not ignoring any of you, I promise.

Now onto something more serious. This is tagged as qsmp neg because I'm about to get really really angry with a certain part of this fandom.

Since Maxo unofficially confirmed qsmp is ending after the event, I've seen so many posts and reblogs along the lines of "the people upset because they had hope are in denial/ delusional/ crazy" or "the people thinking qsmp wasnt dead brought this upon themselves" which, basically, people are making fun of those who've had hope that the server will server. Now, don't get me wrong, we aren't exactly logical by having hope, and you're nit in the wrong for having a joke about people being "in denial" about the server closing.

That being said, the people blogging this only started doing it when Maxo unofficially confirmed its closure. So, technically there was still a small part of you that had hope, too, huh?

Not to mention, we are not in thr wrong for having hope or wanting to hold onto something that brought us so much joy, love, passion and creativity this past year. Leave us be. Let us be "in denial" or "delusional" or whatever you want to call us. It's fun over here. It's bright and positive and we all share the best memories of the past year. We don't WANT to look on the downside because it doesn't help us. It doesn't make sense to be consumed by all this negativity. It's very damaging to people's mental health if all they're seeing is "qsmp is dead" "quackity is cancelled" "all CCs hate qsmp" and other untrue statements.

As long as the fandom lives, qsmp lives. So why are you mocking us for seeing the qsmp in a positive and fun way? We're celebrating its life, not its death. This is a celebration, not a funeral.

I have had so many people message me, send asks, and tag me in posts to thank me for being positive about this situation even in the worst of times. And it's not that I'm saying "the admins are being mistreated? Oh well!" Because I'm not. What I'm doing and what I've done the past 3 or so months is remind people to take a breather, remind people to care for themselves and offer a place for them to vent to. I've shared my favourite moments of qsmp as a way to relive the best times whilst we go through the worst.

Can you not see that? Do you really think it's worth mocking me and others for?

If you genuinely believe I'm crazy or other insults because I see qsmp as a good thing, despite its faults, then please, unfollow me. Block me. Block the 'qsmp positivity' tag.

I will continue to spread hope about qsmp because I need it as much as others do. I owe myself to stay level headed and clear on qsmp because its done so much for me this past year. And so so many others see it the same way. I'm very grateful to be a place of positivity and safety during these trying times. I'm so thankful to everyone who has messaged me, sent me asks, followed me or even became my mutual because of this server.

I am so sorry for anyone that has been incredibly negative and doomposting excessively these past few months. It's very sad you felt the need to bring others down because you were sad too. But the there's a difference between being negative and actively ridiculing others for not being negative. And for those that have been doing the latter, stop. Stop trying to make us feel small for having hope for a server that has been our home for over a year.

If anyone feels like I'm being harsh, it's because I am.

#qsmp negativity #qsmp positivity #qsmp #qsmpblr

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twopoppies · 1 day

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Hi so I joined fandom just after fine line so I wasn't here during hamille.. I just wanted to know if it was like all the stunts after it or different? Also why do so many people believe in it and not in other stunts? Like I have been here for 2 stunts and they are so clearly pr. So what was it about hamille that made it believable or was it the same as these ones and people just hyped it up?

People didn’t believe it when it was happening. The people who really cling to it being real are people who showed up after Fine Line was released and they just bought into the promo that said the album was about their relationship and break up. But if you were there, or if you take 5 minutes to look at the facts, it’s clear as day that it was just as fake as the others.

The only thing that was different about Hamille was that it lasted longer than 2 months. Up until her, every other PR girlfriend was around for a couple of months and then gone. But, if you look at the timeline and the details of the relationship it’s painfully obvious how fake it was. It was a relationship crafted solely to create a narrative for an album. But, those of us who were here at the time knew it was just the same bullshit bearding he’s always had.

Look through my HAMILLE ages HAMILLE TIMELINE tags and you’ll see what I mean.

#hamille #stunts

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hacked-by-jake · 3 days

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Important! 💚

Tomorrow the final day arrives. Moonvale episode 1 will be released and we will go back to being an amazing detective.

I beg everyone to use spoiler warnings for your posts. At the beginning a short "Spoiler" is already enough. And you can even use the 'read more' option tumblr has.

If you click this symbol, the rest of your post will be hidden and people just need to click and can see the rest.

And you can and also should tag (hashtag) your posts with warnings.

Most of us use '#Moonvale spoiler' or 'Moonvale episode 1 spoiler'

Why you should do it? And this is very important. Because tumblr has the amazing function to block different words so you won't be able to read the posts immediately.

Where to find the function in the App and also Web: Go to settings -> account settings -> scroll a bit down until you see 'Content you see'

Here you have two options. 'Filtered tags' to hide posts based on it's tags. And also 'Filtered post content', it will filter every post that includes the word you blocked.

This is especially helpful if you're scared to get spoiled and if you can't play it right away or if you can't finish the episode right away.

And also, and I can't stress this enough, please, if you're going to send asks to blogs about Moonvale, please also include a little spoiler warning at the beginning of your ask. I love every ask I get. I love your thoughts and your theories. Everything. But it's really sad not to have a warning at the beginning. Many times I need to make a screenshot of the asks to post it with proper warning then.

Which will be a bit easier when more people use the block function. But you can never be sure about that. And we all know getting spoiled is a very shitty thing.

Let's make sure everyone's fandom experience is as wonderful as possible. 💚

Thank you for reading. 💚

#moonvale #important for moonvale #moonvale release #moonvale x duskwood #everbyte studio #moonvale game #moonvale everbyte #everbyte moonvale #everbyte game #hbj mv x dw talks #hbj mv talks #duskwood

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dnpbeats · 2 days

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emma i need to confess something any theory about dnp fucking other people pisses me off

anon i'm gonna put about twenty disclaimers on this bc i'm not trying to start discourse but i must say i agree 😭😭 TO BE CLEAR at the end of the day we don't know the ins and outs of d&p's relationship, and we never will. as dan said in BIG ppl want to know who he's fucking when he's fucking them and how long he's fucking them but that is not our business to know!! so i acknowledge that my thoughts on this are my thoughts and they come from a place of personal bias and projection! so if u disagree that’s okay!! okay anyway:

yeah lmao i get that i honestly don't think that they are in an open relationship for a variety of reasons. like logistically speaking it'd be difficult (espc before they were out) and we at least know phil doesn't like one night stands, so it's not like they're perusing grindr every day looking for someone to hook up with. but also like all the swinging jokes are what make me be like yeah they aren't doing that bc if they were i don't think they'd joke about it sm bc i think it would hit too close to home 💀😭 also, i think people read too much into some of dan's comments during WAD. like i get it, yes he likes making horny jokes, but i dont think it's that deep. like even if he wasn't with phil/was in an open relationship, he wasnt being serious when he said cute mutuals slide into my DMs yk 😭 he's always made jokes about being thirsty it's nothing new. also he himself said that all his thirst posting were jokes*! and other reasons too like how jealous dan gets 💀💀

but i also think people have only one interpretation of what he says sometimes, for example him saying things like this: "This is my hot boy autumn right now and I am very much enjoying, for the first time in my life, being free and out and in the world, being able to actually talk about things, being honest, being able to go out and have fun." which, if you want to interpret that as dan saying he's getting dicked down every night of tour, that's your prerogative! but i do not think that "being free and out in the world" has to be about sex, like there are so many layers to that! i just take it to mean like being able to live authentically and exist as a gay man in public yk?

ive said this a couple times in tags on other posts, but i think that sometimes (not all the time!!) the reason why ppl come up with open relation theories is because it's already a given that d&p are together. like in 2015 you could theorize "are they gay are they in a relationship" because it wasn't explicitly stated by them. but now that they're explicitly gay, and anyone reading between the lines can see that they're together, you can't really "speculate" on phan. so, the next progression is to speculate on the exact nature of their relationship: is it open, are they in a qpr, etc. so anyway yeah that's my two cents 😭 if someone thinks they're in an open relationship that's fine pls don't come for me 😭��

*I CANT FIND THE SOURCE FOR THIS but i know he said it bc i've referenced it before, when i eventually find it i'll put the link 🙏🏻🙏🏻

#ask #anon #d&p

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krizariel · 20 hours

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Stripper jason dating CEO Timmy :X

Big thank you to @galkyrie for indulging my midnight jaytim brainworms, helping me make sense of them and adding more to it. This is basically me putting together our convo, so not much of a fic.

FYI, for those who care about this: This AU ended up being switch because we can't help ourselves hence why I tagged both jaytim and timjay. Generally my AUs are more vague on that regard but on this one there's mention of both dynamics so figured, fair warning on this one.

They met at a small party thrown by Dickie and Kory (dating or married idk, whatever fits your fancy) for Dickie’s birthday. Tim is like a little brother to Dick and by extension, to Kory. Jay is close friends with Roy and Kory.

Somehow Tim and Jay had never crossed paths before; with Tim taking over higher responsibilities at the company because his father is ready to retire and leave it all up to him - he is proud of his son and despite whatever Tim says, Jack knows his son is more than ready - Tim has been busy and barely had time to socialize and well, have a life out of work.

They start talking, they hit it off pretty well. Somehow what they do for a living didn’t come up in their conversation because they were too busy talking about their hobbies, Star Trek, AngBang (Sauron has a ship and Jason couldn’t stop talking about it) and whether or not smore’s count as dinner.

They exchanged numbers but Tim never got to call him again until one night he saw him performing at the club. It was Tim’s birthday and as a surprise, his friend dragged him to a popular stripclub. Roy worked as a bartender there so he’d slip them free drinks every now and then.

When the show started, the room went crazy. Apparently, Jason was very popular and indeed, he was amazing. At some point Jason actually noticed him and even waved at him while he was spinning on the pole.

Steph: I’m sorry… did Mr. Beefcake actually waved at you!?

Tim: Looks like it

Steph: YOU KNOW HIM?

Tim: Well, remember that guy I told you about that I kinda liked, mayyyybe had a little crush on?...

Steph: YOUR CRUSH IS A STRIPPER?

Tim: I DIDN’T KNOW THAT PART!

Tim was a bit embarrassed and figured it was probably for the best that he never called him to ask him out, as he saw Jay work and all his audience ogling over him… he didn't know how he felt about dating a stripper. Plus, who knows if he’d even be interested… he must have many people behind him and flirting and looking like a sin incarnate is part of his job.

They met again out of work but Jay didn't even want to talk to him again because he figured Tim was just another uptight asshole who just judged Jay for his job so he didn't call him again and avoided him. Tim felt like a real asshole and figured it didn't harm to be friends... Jay was really cool and Tim enjoyed his time with him. Tim apologized for how he came through at the beginning.

Since then, they became friends, sometimes they would text or meet for coffee. It’s not dating - he tells himself- and every time he’d make a stop by the stripclub to grab a drink, hang out with Roy and Kory at the bar, ~~maybe catch a glimpse of Jay as he danced, flirted and got flirted back~~ he was always reminded of it.

Sometimes he’d get a lapdance himself. What’s the harm…nothing is gonna happen anyway. But oddly enough they’d mostly talk about their day. Tim would be the kind of guy that would sit on his hands to not touch and Jason found it really cute. He enjoyed teasing the little guy.

Other times, Tim pays for a private room/dance to give Jay an hour break from being on the floor, because he notices he is tired. Jason was surprised at first because he thought Tim was finally pulling moves on him but nope, instead he wants nothing but to give him a break and spend time with him, pulling his laptop to watch Star Trek since Jason hadn’t watched it and was interested. Jason just kept falling and falling for Tim’s little gestures. He knew Tim found him attractive, it was obvious, but he was always the proper guy, never making any advances, just making Jason feel cared… which WAS WORSE! because he was starting to imagine it was Tim instead of those men or women who’d he’d dance for. Jay just wanted Tim to fucking snap and fuck him senseless in that stupid couch from the private room. Meanwhile, Tim was starting to finally stop being in denial and was working out the courage to ask Jay on a date because he knows he caught feelings hard.

The next time Tim paid for a private dance, Jay was having none of it. He was going to put on a show and was determined to make Tim snap.

Jason, rolling his hips so his abs are almost brushing Tim's face: who'd think a CEO would be so timid … (Art here )

All the while Tim’s hands are hovering over his skin and not yet touching. Jason's kind of expecting him to get aggressive, or super eager, once he does touch him, but Tim's almost reverent when his fingertips brush along his outer thighs. Tim really -really- wanted to ask Jason out first but he is just about to lose it. And he does, eventually, snap and fuck Jason senseless on the couch. While they are cuddling Tim finally tells him he has been meaning to work up the courage to ask him out... Tim just tells him he wants to date him for real, he deserves to be dined and wined and maybe they are doing all this out of order… and Jason doesn't know how to respond because how is this man so damn cute and yet so savage. Jason asks him if he is sure… he doesn’t want this to be a on-time thing but he’d understand. Most of his previous lovers have ended quickly because they tried to pull the “savior” card, couldn’t get past what he does for a living and he doesn’t have plans to change this for anyone. But Tim is sure, he thought about what this means and he really wants to try if Jay will have him. Tim brings Jason flowers when he picks him up for the date and opens his car door for him. Just total romantic shit that Jason should be too jaded to fall for, but...it's Tim.

So it works on him, because he's already gone on Tim.

By the fourth course Jason's already daydreaming about peeling Tim out of his fancy suit and having his way with him on whatever stupid fancy couch he has at his penthouse. When they get back to Tim's place and Jason eases himself onto the couch and pats his lap like: I think it's your turn to be the one in my lap Tim: hope I don't need to dance because let me tell you already, I suck. But Jay walks him through it, gives him directions and suddenly Tim is taking orders. He finds he likes giving away control if its Jay.

For a while they were dating secretly but it was just because Tim didn't want the inevitable attention on their relationship and wanted to have privacy for them to develop their relationship first. He respected Jay’s job, he did it because he liked it and he was certainly amazing at it - but then Tim realized Jay might not be ok with Tim always introducing him as a friend even among their close friends because he thinks Tim is ashamed so he took Jay as his date to a Wayne gala. And of course people around Tim take it as a license to badmouth Jay and mock Tim by insinuating they had seen all there is to Jay (since some of them apparently went to the strip club Jay worked at). Jay was actually very charmed with Tim because unlike other boyfriends he’s had, Tim didn’t try to make him quit his job. Truly it took a lot from Tim at the beginning to get used to Jay dancing and everyone ogling over him… sometimes some men or women would recognize him while they were on a date and talk so amicably with him essentially ignoring Tim’s presence…but Tim focused on the fact that only Tim got to see how Jay sang while he cooked; how he genuinely laughed like a dork; how he screamed Tim’s name when he reached climax, how he slept like a starfish, etc, and slowly found he loved that more than any jealousy or insecurity he could feel.

and if you missed it, timjay art here

#jaytim #timjay #jason todd #tim drake #not fic

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corruptionasart · 2 days

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I followed for video game corruptions. Don't think I've seen much of those of late.

damn sorry i'll make sure you get a refund

Anyway i'm also gonna go ahead and lump this in here since it's related:

So I'll forgive people for either coming in late to the party or just not paying attention to how this blog has changed over the years but I've spoken several times in the past about how rom corruption over time has become really boring to me. That's why over the past few years I've posted less and less of it.

Back when I started doing this stuff and really committed to it back in like 2016-2018 it was great, I started this blog as an excuse to do more of it, playing retro games and breaking them was, and honestly still is a lot of fun. Unfortunately I made the mistake of running a queue which meant I needed things to fill that queue which meant I was essentially turning art into content, and over time that took its toll and I burnt out hard on it. There was a point where basically all my free time was spent on some aspect of running this blog, whether it was playing the games or going through recordings to make gifs or tagging posts etc.

Over the past couple weeks actually I've been going through all my old ShareX screenshot folders (btw i wholeheartedly endorse sharex it rules and i donate to its patreon) I've been collecting all the screenshots I've made of rom corruptions (somehow I hadn't done this before) and what I've noticed is exactly what I noticed all those years ago, it's kinda all the same.

You might disagree with that but again I've been seeing this stuff for like 8 years now and there's only so many times I feel like I could post something like that before it gets stale, the same goes with the gifs and videos. Again, I do enjoy making that stuff but I just feel like I personally feel like I need to make a change.

I'll get into the AI part of what I said this morning in a following post but I should be a bit more clear that the collage stuff I've been doing and anything else that I plan to do in the future isn't meant to be entirely about showcasing ai art or glorifying it, it's just another piece of the puzzle. I mostly made the post about ai stuff mostly because I wanted to see what the reaction would be in this community to that specifically. I wasn't expecting the "anything that isn't rom corruption is off-topic and shouldn't be posted on this blog" contingent. I may very well make another blog just about the ai stuff because I think there are things I could talk about with it with regard to pushing against the tide of garbage and making something new with it, idk yet.

THe last thing I want to say regarding rom corruptions specifically, though, is that it's interesting to me that despite the fact that I've posted the link to the corruption wiki multiple times now and people clearly do have an interest in this stuff that hardly anybody is out there posting this stuff either here or anywhere else online (at least outside of the Vinesauce community, which I feel goes for a very different vibe in what they do.)

The tools are out there, they haven't really changed all that much for years apart from being supported for more modern systems, and yet nobody's posting anything.

Maybe I should make another proper tutorial on my whole process, try to push harder to get people to make stuff.

Sorry if this response is kind of incoherent, I've been called away a lot in making this, I'll try to make the next few posts shorter

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pastelwitchling · 3 days

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The Missteps of Bridgerton Season 3

I love Bridgerton, I love Polin, and I enjoyed the first half of the season fine... but as someone who'd started watching Bridgerton only because of Polin, who'd read the book, and who had been looking forward to this particular season from the very beginning, I have to admit that I was a little disappointed by what we got. Not because it wasn't good, but because it wasn't as amazing as it could've been.

And no, I will not be tagging this as 'anti.' I've gone through the anti tag, and it's some very vile bull from people who genuinely hate the show or hate the characters (or hate other fans), and I love them. I just have some criticism of a few choices made.

So. If you can't handle any critique to the show at all, then please don't read the rest of this. Otherwise, grab some tea and a snack because I have quite a few thoughts.

I don't even know where to start.

I think the most frustrating thing for me in the beginning was how many other plotlines they tried to shove into this season. I don't want to sound mean, but I don't care about Will and Alice's business, I don't care about Benedict's boring relationship with another dArInG wOmAn WhO dEfIeS sOcIeTy'S eXpEcTaTiOnS (more on that later), I don't care about Cressida's redemption.

In fact, let's start with her. This was such a bad fucking idea. Not the redemption itself, though I don't know why some storytellers think there are no unlikable people in the world, why every woman especially has to be redeemed and forgiven. Some are just awful, they exist, it happens. It's okay to have scenes of our characters just reacting to these people and navigating kindness and forgiveness in spite of them. But anyway, working on Cressida's redemption in this kind of story doesn't freaking work. Why? Because we've seen this character put Penelope through endless shit already, and her season is not the season to work on her bully's redemption. Because Penelope already lost her best friend to this girl, and trying to redeem her now isolates Penelope even more, because instead of Eloise getting to properly realize how much she's lost in giving up Penelope as a friend, we're getting her genuinely bonding and getting closer to someone else. Most importantly, redeeming Cressida now doesn't fucking work because you have her and Penelope competing for the affections of the same guy.

You can't pit the girl we want to see win and root for against her bully for the affections of a man, and try to make us sympathetic for the bully. Are we not supposed to want Penelope to get him? Are we not supposed to root for Penelope? I get the idea of complex characters and relationships, but for the love of the gods, Penelope has been crapped on over and over and over in this series. I don't know about anybody else, but I got so excited when I saw her with Lord Debling in the promos because I thought, "Finally! We're going to see Penelope actually be pursued and cherished by someone else!" And instead? We have her embarrassing herself in cringey and awkward conversations against the bully we're also supposed to sympathize with? This was the show's chance to finally give Penelope someone who values her, but oh no, we have to show how tough things are for Cressida, so we have to make her actual competition who actually connects to Debling as well. So which is it, writers? Are we supposed to root for Penelope or Cressida? When Penelope wins, which is already unfair because she's had to bust her butt to get this guy so it's always her in pursuit, how are we supposed to be happy for her when Cressida is in the corner all sad?

Don't get me wrong, when Cressida chose not to gossip about Penelope at the ball, I was really touched. But the problem in trying to redeem her is that it works, which then creates a whole other problem when her and our heroine are then competing for the same guy!

Speaking of that guy; Lord Debling. I'm conflicted on him because I like how much he comes to learn about Penelope (arguably more than Colin does, but we'll get into that later), and I like how genuinely kind he is. But I hated seeing Penelope have to embarrass herself in front of him. I hated that we had to watch this girl who already feels like less than everyone else not even properly get this guy's attention for half the time we know him. Why did the writers think that would be fun to watch? I thought a majority of the time with him would be spent with Colin's jealousy, but even in those brief moments when Colin was jealous, it was from a distance, and we knew that in reality, those conversations Penelope was having with Debling were awkward and kind of degrading to her character.

Which brings me to my biggest pet peeve in this whole thing. The changes made to Penelope herself. Look. I'm not a stickler for accurate adaptations, okay? I don't care if the adaptation matches the source material so long as it's entertaining, which is why I enjoy the Percy Jackson movies more than the actual show. How I see it, we get two different, very fun and likable versions of a beloved story. So I didn't come into this season hoping it would be like the book, I just hoped it would be a good time. However...

Something I did appreciate in the book, and in the past two Bridgerton seasons, was Penelope's wisdom. She was hopeful with Colin, but realistic. She knew she would probably never be with him, but she was determined to be happy anyway. Lady Danbury even calls her something along the lines of the cleverest person in the room, and that's why she takes such a liking to her. Penelope is supposed to be clever, witty, amusing, and wise enough to know that even if she may not get everything she wants, she has her best friend and a guide in Lady Danbury and the small joys of being alongside the Bridgertons, and that was enough for her. Colin saw her for that wisdom and wit, saw the love and joy and pride she had in her work, saw that her priorities were the people she loved and the craft she'd perfected, and fell in love with her for it.

Here? She's the butt of every joke, she's a subject of mockery and dismissals, she's someone to be pitied, not appreciated. Yes, she was a wallflower in the book too, but she had at least a few supporting figures who she admired and helped her be happy where she was. I don't care SO much that they switched the scene of him finding out she's Whistledown, so much as the fact that they changed the meaning behind it. Her and Colin honestly spent so little time together because the show was trying to shoehorn in all these other plots, and so when he suddenly decides he's going to stop her marriage, it feels like he just does it because he's horny! In the book, he's impressed with the strong, talented, and passionate woman she is. In the show, I technically know that he wants to be married to his best friend, but the scenes I was most looking forward to with Colin and Penelope properly talking more and getting to really know each other aren't even there, so based off what friendly interaction had he suddenly learned to see her differently?

Finding out she was Whistledown was a shock to him, and it pushed him over the edge of his feelings for her. Not to mention, him finding out she was Whistledown told him so much about her as a person. Really think about it; what does Colin Bridgerton in the show know about Penelope? Nothing! Lord Debling knows more about her interests and what she enjoys better than Colin does! Knowing about Whistledown also gave him access to a secret part of her that no one else was privy to! Taking that away means that when they get married, Penelope knows everything about Colin and his travels and what he enjoys, and he knows next to NOTHING about her! So we spent the season with her being a joke to everyone, her having to compete for a guy and fail for a good long conversation, and then her ending up in a relationship with a guy who never bothered to get to know her? Fun.

In fact, why don't we talk a little more about Colin, too. Um. What the fuck was he writing? I don't care that it's sexual, but him describing Greek beaches and Scottish pubs in the book and interactions he's had with people shows exactly how grown he really is without him even knowing it. In the book, Colin hated being known for nothing but his charm. He even resented it and turned bitter when Penelope brought it up! He wanted to be more than that, he wanted to have a real purpose and be taken seriously and even be perceived more like Anthony. Writing about the landscapes he'd seen on his travels and his interactions showed that he wasn't just travelling to sleep his way through Europe, but that he was actually learning about new cultures and experiencing new worlds and lands. Here? He's just writing smut! In itself, it would be fine, except that he CLEARLY had a problem not having a purpose in his conversation with Anthony and Benedict and when Penelope praised his writing, so he does want the same thing Book Colin does, except... doesn't just writing erotica completely undermine his whole thing of wanting to be known as more than a charming flirt??

Not to mention, Book Colin ends up publishing his travel journals, so how's this version going to do that? You can tell us he's doing it at the end, but it will ring hollow because we all saw what he's been writing, so if they try to divert at the end to Book Colin's ending, it won't make any sense when we've already heard what he's written. In that time period, how the hell is he going to publish that? AND Book Colin ends up giving his stuff to Penelope to read once they're married because he wants her opinion on it! How the hell is that going to work, giving your wife your erotica with other women to test read? I know it could be done, but the charm of the book version is then gone because it feels like you've reduced a cultured man to a rake who just wants to gloat about how many foreign women he'd gotten to sleep with. Doesn't even that then undermine the whole flirty act he put on in the first episode when even Lady Whistledown could tell he was just pretending to be someone he wasn't??

I'm so tired, so I'm going to end this with a few final notes:

Why does arguably the most charming Bridgerton brother, Benedict, always get the most BORING storyline? I hate the woman he's with, there's absolutely nothing original or charming about her, and I am SICK TO DEATH of these so-called "quirky, strong women who don't care what anybody else says because they're edgy like that," it's just so cliched, and I need that archetype to die already. I thought they were going to do something with the fact that she's clearly a lot older than him, but they don't address it at all, so there goes that interesting concept.

Francesca's fickleness was getting on my last nerve, and I was so bored with her storyline until she met that guy. Their relationship is a cute and unique one, but before he shows up, nothing of what she wants is clear. She doesn't mind meeting a guy, but the second someone actually tries speaking to her, she backs off. She wants to talk about music, but when someone tries to speak to her about music, she backs off. I just couldn't get a reading on what she wanted.

I really don't care at all about Will and Alice's business. It's the same storyline every freaking season.

Eloise's whole "It's not nice when Whistledown writes about you, is it?" is very stupid because Lady Whistledown has written plenty about Penelope's family before that point (and in the book, about Penelope herself). You can't have Colin acknowledging that Whistledown outed Marina in the first episode, and then have Eloise forget that Penelope threw her own family name under the bus to protect Colin.

The carriage scene, I'm sorry, was cringey and came a little bit out of nowhere. And I really didn't like that Colin was backing away until, again, Penelope put herself forward. She's always the pursuer, and I'd hoped for something different this season. I also didn't like that she had to be dumped first. Like, yeah, let's really not give her a single break until Colin deems it time to actually do something for her.

That's all I've got that I can think of, at least in terms of negative criticism. I'm sure more will come to me later, but this was the big stuff. And I don't want to hear anything about, "But Rin, the season's not done yet!" Yeah, but half of it is. No matter what happens in the last four episodes, this was how they started. I guess when the cast said it was their most graphic season so far, they meant the most graphic for everyone but the main couple, and isn't that what you wanted to see?

#penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #bridgerton #polin #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton netflix #bridgerton 3 #colin x penelope #bridgerton rant

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