Midnight Pals: hummingbird
TC Parker: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the homophobic protests in front of a school
Parker: i know that sounds like a real downer
Parker: but just wait there's gonna be a twist
Parker: actually about 4 of them
Parker: ok so what if when a homophobic bigot tried to give you shit
Parker: what if you just killed them?
Parker: what if you totally just merc'd them?
King: but TC that would just make you as bad as them
Barker: shut the fuck up steve
Barker: you know that would be good as hell
TC Parker: what if you killed that bigot
Parker: and then you skinned them
Parker: and then made their bloody flayed body into a big gory art noveu project
Barker: ha ha
Barker: now i don't know art
Barker: but i know what i like
Parker: what if the homophobic protests were actually orchestrated by the devil?
Barker: wait wait that doesn't make sense
Barker: the devil loves gay shit
King: gosh clive that's a little dodgy to say
Barker: the devil is absolutely gay as all hell
Barker: i think i would know
Parker: not only is the devil there, but there's also werewolves involved
Parker: and zombies!
Parker: and what the heck there's a wizard there too
Parker: it's a regular monster mash!
Parker: maybe even a graveyard smash
Parker: actually they're not really werewolves
Parker: more like werefoxes
Lafcadio Hearn: EXCUSE ME!!!!
Hearn: they're called kitsunes Hearn: [dropping pocky in indignation] and they're beautiful!!
I fucking hate twitter with the fire of ten thousand suns and am only on it for work, but it was worth being on it today just to watch Elon Musk beg Stephen King for $8.
Midnight Pals: Goncharov tear down that wall
Stephen King: hey neil did you hear that tumblr made up a fake scorcese movie?
King: Joe told me about it
Gaiman: haha! how delightfully whimsical! how droll!
Gaiman: will the limitless vista of the human imagination ever fail to delight?
Poe: neil did you hear about goronovich?
Gaiman: haha! the fake movie! how droll!
Lovecraft: hey neil did you hear about gorbochov?
Gaiman: haha! the fake movie! how droll!
Koontz: hey neil did you hear about goobooboo?
Gaiman: haha. the fake movie. how droll.
Barker: hey neil
King: neil everyone wants to hear your opinion on goaijiruchev
Gaiman: please steve stop
Gaiman: for days, i have been buffeted upon the tides of whimsy
Gaiman: until i must scream, like odysseus tied to the mast, NO MORE
Gaiman: NO MORE
King: so what's your opinion
Gaiman: confound that infernal fiction!
Gaiman: only in this late hour do i realize my folly
Gaiman: recognizing that the unbounded human imagination can be twisted for evil
Gaiman: sweet merciful gilgamesh, let us banish this wretched tulpa back to the distant caves of memory!
Koontz: hey neil what do you think about girugamesh
Gaiman: i think that cursed palimpsest should sink into the darkest depths of the river lethe!!
Gaiman: oh no dean
Gaiman: please no
Gaiman: dry your tears, good dean
Gaiman: my anger was not for you
King: Gorbavaich! Gogoogamoo!
Koontz: haha this is fun! Gabagoo! Gargamel!
Gaiman: i must amend my long-stated position on imagination
Gaiman: i now believe that it's bad
Gaiman: please stop
Gaiman: i hate whimsy now
Gaiman: gods it hurts
In conclusion, tumblr is a land of contrasts and also BUY MY BOOK:
richie tozier is so nuts to me. biggest fear was clowns and he became a comedian. called an eldritch horror a sloppy bitch to its face. saw his own missing poster everywhere because he was afraid he was going to be hate crimed. made your mom jokes before and after they were popular. killed a man and immediately threw up about it. the most canonically queer of the gay finn wolfhard trifecta. his two childhood crushes were a guy who beat him at a video game once and his closest best friend. instigated a rock fight and immediately got decimated. one of the two characters who looked into the deadlights and therefore witnessed horrors beyond comprehension. prompted the whole internet to thirst for bill hader. what is going on with that guy put him under a microscope.