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stevie-petey · 4 months

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episode three: the pollywog

Steve looks over at you, not necessarily amused, but flattered nonetheless. “You know my class schedule?” A blush spreads across your face as you look away from him, but Steve still sees it and something flutters in his chest. He’s always thought you were pretty when you blushed, but you’re even prettier when he’s the reason why. “I pay attention,” you dodge.

Summary: you lecture jonathan about daddy issues and then have an intellectual debate about healthy relationships, you play Mr. Love Dr with Steve, nancy and jonathan go on a sick side quest (and actually inform you this time !), meanwhile: you're about to put a leash on your damn brother.

Rating: general, some curing

Warnings: use of y/n, fem!reader, cursing, slight reference to billy being mean and trauma

Words: 6.7k

Before you swing in: hello ! my first day of spring semester is tomorrow, so here's a quick lil chapter for yall :) i wont have a lot of time to update as frequently anymore, but i promise i will continue to update as much as i can <3 in the meantime, enjoy this chapter n have a lovely day my dears !!

Like most mornings, you’re up and ready before Dustin has even woken up.

“Dustin! C’mon, wake up! Jonathan will be here soon and–” You try to open your brother’s door, but it’s locked. “What the–? Dustin! Hello?”

You begin pounding on his door, trying and failing to get in, and right as you’re about to break the door down, your mom comes in from the kitchen. “Y/N, Dusty has already left.”

“Left? Like, he went to school already?” No way in hell that kid has just decided to get up and ready for school any earlier than he needed to. That kid could sleep thirty hours if given the chance.

“Yup! He left pretty early this morning, said he had a test to study for.” Your mom says as she wanders back towards the kitchen to make her usual cup of coffee.

“Huh,” you’re starting to worry that maybe Dustin is hiding something. First he blocked the door from you last night, now he’s supposedly leaving early for some test? He’s hiding something, you know he is. What worries you, though, is that Dustin hasn’t felt the need to hide anything from you since the whole El fiasco.

Which hadn’t ended well.

As you’re lost in thought, mentally going through Dustin’s actions these last few days, Jonathan walks through your front door, keys in hand.

“Hey, bug. Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you shake your head to clear any more thoughts. You’ll interrogate Dustin later. “Let me grab my bag, one sec.”

Jonathan nods before he’s attacked by your mom, who pulls him into a hug squeals. “Jonathan!”

“You saw me last night, Mrs. Henderson.” He pats her back awkwardly, mouthing “help me” towards you, but you only laugh and grab your bag from your room.

As soon as you have your stuff, you and Jonathan head out. You sneak some glances at him while he drives, memories from last night crashing back. The party… Well, who could’ve seen any of that coming? Considering how shitty the night turned out, Jonathan looks better at least. However, the bruises on his knuckles make you frown.

“I’m sorry about Billy,” you say, grabbing the bruised hand. His skin is rough against yours, but familiar all the same.

Jonathan gives you an incredulous look. “You’re sorry?”

“Yes…?”

“Bug, no. We aren’t doing this.” He shakes his head, pulling his hand away to run it through his hair. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Billy was being a piece of shit, you needed my help, so I did what any sane person would do.”

You’re silent, not used to having such aggression from Jonathan aimed at you. He’s not necessarily mad at you, but you and him have had some issues in the past about stuff like this. You’ve always apologized for other people’s actions, as if you getting hurt is somehow always your fault. He hates that you do it.

You hate that you always do it. But you can’t help it, it’s almost second nature at this point.

Jonathan, reading your mind, sighs. His anger dissipates and he grabs your hand now, kissing your knuckles softly. “I’m sorry for yelling. I just… You mean the world to me, Y/N. I love you, I will always be there for you. I’d punch Billy a million more times if I needed to, without you ever having to ask me.”

“I know, but–”

“If you feel guilty I will pull this car over and shake your pretty little head until I finally knock some sense into it.”

Finally, you laugh. “Now that’s just dramatic.”

“Do I need to pull over?”

“No,” you raise your hands up in surrender. “I’ll shut up now.”

Jonathan nods his head. “Good, just the way I like it.”

You smack his chest, and he fake screams in pain. He makes a show of it, hunching himself over while he drives and clutches at his chest, which you giggle at. He’s laughing as well, and it’s one of your “normal” moments that have become so few and far between. Just you and Jonathan, giggling in his car early in the morning as you drive to school, your laughter is just enough to keep the two of you warm.

Jonathan’s ladybug ring catches the morning light and the bee wrapped around your neck buzzes against your skin.

But “normal” never lasts long anymore, and you remember Nancy’s drunken eyes from last night and Steve’s loneliness in his voice when he asked you why everyone keeps leaving him. The memories cause your giggles to fade off, the small moment of joy now gone.

Jonathan sees your mood change and, because he’s always on the same page as you, purses his lips. “So… It’s now tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, remembering telling him last you’d talk about Steve and Nancy tomorrow. “It’s now tomorrow.”

“Why’d you insist on driving Steve home?”

The question is innocent enough, but you sense that how you answer it could change things. “He was upset.”

“Sure, but you almost bit my head off when I last asked about that guy. Then you wanted to drive him home?” Jonathan keeps his eyes on the road ahead of him, though he clenches his jaw ever so slightly. But you see it. You always see it.

“Bee… I had to, okay? Please, can we just leave it at that?” You don’t want to talk about your fucking feelings with the first boy you’ve ever loved, the boy who doesn’t love you back.

Jonathan swallows, takes another deep breath, and then nods. “I took Nancy home, like Steve asked. She was… Very drunk. Had to carry her into bed.”

“I’m sorry about that, too.”

“You didn’t shove alcohol down her throat.”

“No, but I did encourage her to go to that stupid party while she was fighting with Steve.”

“Steve and Nancy have been fighting?”

Shit. You forgot that Jonathan didn’t know.

“Okay, yes” you say, but right as Jonathan’s eyes light up, you’re quick to backtrack. “But if I tell you anything else, you have to swear to keep it between us. Got it?”

“I won’t say a word.”

You sigh, really hoping you aren’t breaking Nancy’s trust. Technically, she hadn’t asked you to keep your conversation from yesterday private, but… It feels wrong telling Jonathan about it. “Nancy and Steve have been fighting, yes, but not in the way you’d think.”

You’ve arrived at school, so Jonathan quickly parks the car before motioning for you to keep talking. “Go on, I’m curious now.”

“God, you’re a worse gossip than I am. Anyways, she’s mad at Steve for brushing off Barb’s death, in a sense. But also, like… Steve isn’t really brushing off Barb’s death? I think he just wants to help Nancy, those are his intentions, but he doesn’t know how. He thinks dinner dates, going to parties, and spending a lot of time together will get her mind off of things.”

Jonathan scoffs. “Well, babying Nancy won’t help.”

“I know, and you’re right, but Nancy should have expressed this to Steve better, don’t you think? I mean, we don’t know what happened last night, but it seems like she tried drinking away her anger towards him rather than actually talking to him.”

“And how can we know Steve wouldn’t just run away or something? Actually be up for it, be proactive rather than retroactive. It seems like Nancy needs to do something about Barb’s death.”

Frustration builds within you. “And what good does assuming something actually do? Assuming that Steve wouldn’t listen is wholly unfair and honestly, a bit rude. He’s her boyfriend, she can’t just assume he wouldn’t care. Steve has done everything he can to show he cares, that he loves her, so I think Nancy should be the one to voice her feelings and let him know what she needs. What she wants.”

Jonathan looks away. “And what should Nancy want, bug?”

You’re silent.

Somehow, you and Jonathan aren’t fighting about Steve and Nancy anymore.

“I… I don’t know.” You look out the window, watching as students pass by.

After a tense silence, Jonathan tries to crack a joke. “Oh, you’ll laugh at this! Caught Bob sneaking out the house like some shameful teenage boy this morning.”

You turn towards him now. “Why would I laugh at that? I think it’s sweet, your mom seems happy.”

“Sure, but…” Jonathan’s smile falters, not expecting you to be so stoic as a reaction. “He’s kinda a loser, you gotta admit.”

“Jonathan Byers, I literally had to save you from bullies, five times my size, as a girl, when we were twelve.”

“Okay, I didn’t mean it like that–”

“You should be nicer about Bob. He’s a good guy, he actually cares about you, Will, and your mom. After the hell you guys went through with Lonnie, you should be appreciative of Bob.” You’re so angry now, your fists shake with rage. “You have a healthy father figure in your life now, which I would kill to give Dustin, and even if you don’t like him, you’re luckier for it.”

Jonathan is quiet. He’s staring down at his steering wheel in shame, and you feel bad for snapping so suddenly. You aren’t sorry for your anger towards him, his attitude towards Bob has been bothering you for a while. However, it doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch about it just because of your own issues surrounding shitty dads.

“I’m sorry, bee. You have a right to feel uncomfortable about the change, but I just think you should give Bob a chance. I like the guy.” You offer, looking over at your friend tentatively.

“No, you’re right. I know you are, it just takes some getting used to, I guess.” He grabs your hand, gives it a squeeze as if to tell you it’s all good now, and you squeeze his hand back.

“Great drive to school today,” you quip.

Jonathan laughs. “God, I think I had about five heart attacks during those conversations.”

The tension leaves the car. Then, slowly, the warmth creeps back in as you and Jonathan once again start laughing. You’re not sure why you’re even laughing, but you’re happy that you are.

–

Jonathan walks you to your locker, as he always does, and before he turns to head to his, you notice how quiet it is in the hallway. You look over at Nancy’s locker, which somehow always manages to be near yours every year, and frown when you don’t see her.

“There’s a suspicious lack of Nancy and Steve making out against her locker this morning.” You tell Jonathan.

He looks around and notices you’re right. The two of you share a concerned glance, knowing that their absence can’t mean anything good for the couple.

“Should we go look for them?” He asks, but you’re already heading towards the parking lot to find Steve. “Y/N!”

“Go find Nancy!” You call behind you, speeding up. “I’ll meet you at first period!”

Steve’s car is hard to miss in the parking lot. Hawkins isn’t necessarily a flashy town. No one else besides the Harringtons owns a fancy BMW. You approach the car and spot Steve sitting in the front, his head ducked down as if no one can see his massive red car and easily identify him.

Idiot.

Steve is having a rough week, so he’s spent the last five minutes in his car debating on whether or not he can afford to skip his first class. Reasonably speaking, his dad would kill him. He already has shit grades and he’s missed three college application deadlines. All he has left is Tech. However, his girlfriend told him last night she doesn’t love him and Billy embarrassed him in front of everyone last night.

Plus Nancy left with Jonathan, which everyone saw.

He told him to take her, but still.

Pretty embarrassing.

Yup. Alright. He’s going home.

Steve reaches over for his keys to turn the car on, but before he can, a knock on his window stops him. He looks up, scared Billy will be there, but instead he sees you and he’s not sure if his day just got better or worse.

“Let me in, dingus.” Your voice is light, but still stern, and yeah. Steve’s day just got better.

He unlocks the door and you silently get into the passenger seat. As you get settled in, he thinks about the first time he ever had you in his car. It feels like a lifetime ago, Steve’s heart had been beating wildly taking the risk of offering you a ride.

It had been the start of something, he could feel it.

But then you left him that summer without another word, as if nothing had happened between the two of you. As if Steve hadn’t slowly come to find himself opening up to someone, trusting that you’d let him be whoever he wanted; he could just be Steve around you, not King Steve or even perfect boyfriend Steve.

Now Steve’s hiding out in his car, no longer King Steve or even good fucking boyfriend Steve, and instead of his girlfriend seeking him out to comfort him, it’s you. Because of course it’s you.

“Hey,” you say.

“Hi.”

“You know that senior study hall is inside the school, right?”

Steve looks over at you, not necessarily amused, but flattered nonetheless. “You know my class schedule?”

A blush spreads across your face as you look away from him, but Steve still sees it and something flutters in his chest. He’s always thought you were pretty when you blushed, but you’re even prettier when he’s the reason why.

“I pay attention,” you dodge.

Steve wants to tease you some more, play into the banter he missed the most when the two of you weren’t talking, but his heart isn’t in it. Nancy’s words kept him up all night. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could hear was her telling him that she didn’t love him. After he did everything he possibly could’ve done right, it still hadn’t been enough.

“Did Nancy get home okay?”

You give him a small smile. “Yeah, I just talked to Jonathan about it.”

Relief floods through Steve. At least that’s one thing he hadn’t fucked up last night. “Good… I’m glad then.”

He awkwardly clears his throat and looks away again. He doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore. He feels lost, floating through his morning. Nothing has felt real since yesterday in the library with Nancy, when she had been looking up at him with those eyes he’s always been weak for.

“Any particular reason you’re hiding out in your car?”

Steve lets out a bitter laugh. “You were there last night. You know what happened.”

“Actually, I don’t.” You see the disbelief on Steve’s face and quickly correct yourself. “I mean, I remember you saying something about Nancy but… I don’t want to assume, so…”

Now you’re the one looking away in shame, and Steve watches as you nervously fiddle with your fingers and bite your lip. You’re trying. Though Steve still isn’t sure how to feel about you, how much to test this new compromise between you two, this “friendship”, Steve knows he has to at least try as well.

He takes a deep breath. “Nancy… She isn’t in love with me.”

A beat of silence passes.

“Steve, I mean, are you sure–”

“Pretty fucking sure, Y/N. Unless you think someone telling their boyfriend ‘like we’re in love’ means she’s madly in love with him.”

Another beat of silence passes. Steve can see the pity in your eyes, and he hates it. He fucking hates this, feeling so pathetic and small.

Then, your hand slowly intertwines with his and the anger in Steve’s chest lessens a bit. “I know my words don’t mean anything, but… Nancy not being in love with you has nothing to do with you as a person.”

Something untangles in Steve’s chest; you’ve reassured him of something he hadn’t even known had been his fear. How do you always seem to decipher what he’s feeling before he can?

“How do you know?” Steve has never felt so small before.

You shrug, but there’s a calculated nonchalance to it that he can easily see. “Because I know you. You’re frustratingly charming, Harrington.”

Steve laughs, something he didn’t even know he was able to do anymore. “That’s your takeaway here?”

“Mhm,” you squeeze his hand and Steve has never felt this grounded before by such a small action. “I say you need to talk to Nancy, I mean really talk to her. No more half truths and appeasements. I think she does love you, in her own way, but the circumstances aren’t on your guys’ side. I mean, she went through hell and back last year, Barb’s death anniversary is soon.”

You pause for a moment and frown, which Steve has come to learn means you’re carefully choosing which words to say next. “I want you to know, no, I need you to know, that this has nothing to do with you. Okay?”

Steve wants to believe you, god he really wants to, but even he can see the blaring irony of you telling him that Nancy’s lack of love for him has nothing to do with him personally. You, the girl he came to trust more than anyone else in this awful town, ditched him in the same manner. Steve’s the common denominator there. He’s always the one left behind.

“Look, I appreciate what you’re saying, but the words don’t mean a whole lot coming from you right now,” Steve tells you, and he hates the way your eyes darken, as if guarding yourself from him. “I know we agreed on being friends again, but I just… I need some time.”

You nod, as if you expected something like that from Steve, and he almost wants to just drive away with you in the car and pretend that nothing else exists. Instead, he clears his throat, his tongue feels heavy and his throat threatens to close up, but he forces himself to get the words out. “I want to be alone, please.”

He really doesn’t want to be alone, but his brain is swimming in confusion and you’re still holding his hand and Steve just needs a moment to himself to just breathe.

“Of course,” you tell him, because of course you listen and understand. “You know where to find me, yeah?”

Steve nods. He does.

“Bye, Y/N.”

You give him a small wave in response, close the car door, and then make your way back to the high school.

Steve watches you fade into the distance.

He’s alone again.

–

Jonathan makes it to first period with only seconds to spare. He throws himself into his seat next to you with panting breaths. Your history teacher, Mrs. Kent, drones through attendance without having noticed anything.

“I couldn’t find Nancy.” Jonathan whispers, before his name is called and he quickly raises his hand and says, “Here.”

You glance at the chalkboard and then flip your textbook to the page scrawled on it. “I found Steve wallowing in his car, alone. Guess he didn’t drive Nancy to school?”

“Seems a bit harsh.”

“May I remind you of the time you threw a jacket at my face and then screamed at me that we aren’t family? All because you felt guilty about taking naked photos of Nancy?”

Jonathan drops his head onto the desk, letting out a groan. “I’m never living that down, am I?”

You keep your eyes on the board, taking a few notes. “Nope.”

Class starts up now, so the topic is left alone. The school day passes on, you and Jonathan separating for your own classes after history is done. The day drags on for a while, though you hear a few whispers in the hall about how Jonathan had taken home a drunk Nancy.

“God, it’s like she loves the attention.” One girl giggles with her friend while you’re at your locker.

Her friend rolls her eyes. “Please, as if anyone would choose Byers over Steve Harrington.”

“I’m more of a Wheeler fan myself,” you tell the girls, not even sparing them a glance. “Now, why don’t we all just shut up and move away from my locker?”

The girls scurry away, fear in their eyes, and you simply shake your head at them. Why is Nancy always the one those girls gossip about? Objectively speaking, Steve has done much more heinous things than getting a ride home from a friend while drunk.

Jonathan kisses your cheek as he walks up from behind you, breaking you from your thoughts. “Hey, bug. Lunch at my car today?”

“Ugh, it’s such a nice day today, I’d love to.” You grab your lunch from your locker. Once you have it, you link your arm through Jonathan’s. “Guide the way, good sir.”

“Yes ma’am.”

–

Nancy is leaning against Jonathan’s car when you walk outside.

Her shoulders are slouched and you can see the unease on her face. She looks tired, too. A few people walk by her and stare, whispering as they go, and you really hate high schoolers sometimes.

When you make it to Jonathan’s car, Nancy holds her lunch bag up awkwardly. “Can I join you guys?”

“I’m sure we can make some room.” You tell her, which she smiles at.

It takes some adjusting, but eventually the three of you manage to fit on the front of the car. You sit on the roof, your legs dangling off of the side, while Nancy and Jonathan take the front. The early November sun beats down on you three, but the cool breeze makes the sting less painful. It’s a lovely day, all things considered.

You’re nibbling on your sandwich when Nancy exhales deeply and turns to you. “Y/N, you’d always tell me the truth, right?”

“Depends,” you take another bite out of your food. “What is this in reference to?”

“Last night… I don’t remember what I did.”

There’s a certain shame in her eyes that tells you she encountered Steve before retreating to Jonathan’s car. “You spoke to Steve this morning, I take it?”

She looks at you, surprised. “How did you–”

“We talked to him last night.” Jonathan cuts her off, looking between you and Nancy nervously. He’s not sure where you, her, and Steve all fall in regards to each other.

“So, he asked you to take me home?” Nancy faces him now, and you go back to eating.

“Yeah. Yeah, I mean he was upset…” He glances at you briefly before looking back at Nancy. “I mean, he was really upset.”

“I don’t blame him.” You cut in, mouth full of chips you stole from Jonathan.

He sends you glare and keeps talking. “But he was still worried about you, Nance.”

Nancy drops her head down and a part of you feels bad for the quip. She really does look ashamed, but you distinctly remember warning her about this exact thing last year in the school’s shed. She had tried telling you there wasn’t anything between her and Jonathan, and all you could tell her was that Steve didn’t deserve to be lied to or cheated on.

Guess she only kept one end of that bargain.

Jonathan sees that she’s upset and he softens his voice, scooting closer to her. “Hey, you need to cut yourself some slack, okay? People say stupid things when they’re wasted. Things they don’t mean.”

You bite your tongue. Hard. If you allow yourself to speak, you won’t be able to guarantee it’ll be anything nice. Sure, being drunk can influence some words to slip out, but cruelly telling your boyfriend of over a year that you don’t love him is something you can’t defend. Not when Nancy had other chances to tell Steve.

Nancy whips her head up. “Yeah, but that’s the thing. What if I did mean it? All this time, I’ve been trying so hard to pretend like everything’s fine, but it’s not.”

You and Jonathan share a look. He seems more curious, you can feel the anger burning through your eyes.

“No offense, Nance.” You wipe your hands on a napkin and force the girl to look at you. “But this is really something that you should be talking to Steve about. Remember our conversation from last year?”

Nancy looks down again in shame. “You’re right, I know you are, but… I don’t know. I feel like there’s this…” She pauses, trying to figure out how to explain her thoughts, but Jonathan finishes for her.

“Like there’s this weight you’re carrying around with you. All the time. I feel it, too.” He says, then he flicks your leg. “Y/N does as well. She tries to hide it, but I know she feels it as much as I do.”

Now it’s you who turns away, embarrassed and ashamed. Clearly you haven’t been so good at hiding your neverending guilt over Will.

“Yeah, but it’s different for you guys. Will came home.” Nancy says.

You open your mouth to speak, to correct the girl’s horrible viewpoint, but Jonathan surprises you by correcting her himself. “Yeah, he did. But he’s not the same. I try to be there for him, you know, to help him, but… I don’t know.”

“Dustin still has nightmares.” You admit, which Jonathan hadn’t known.

“I thought those went away, bug.”

You shake your head at him. “No… If anything, they’ve only gotten worse. Some nights he sleeps in my bed, says I calm him down, but I just… I feel horrible, knowing I left them alone that night at the middle school. The things he saw… god.”

Nancy and Jonathan sigh, understanding how painful the weight of guilt can feel.

A silence follows your confession.

Then, because you hate when there’s silence, you try to go back to the previous topic. “Anyways, Nancy, what we’re trying to say is that we understand. And I’m sure Steve will, too. He was also there that night, at Jonathan’s. You should talk to him, explain the weight within you. Steve, he…”

You find yourself pausing, unsure if what you’re about to tell Nancy is something Steve would want you to keep between you two, but he misses her. He loves her, so you try to fix whatever you can between them. “He thinks he did something wrong, that he’s unlovable. It isn’t fair to make someone feel that way.”

Nancy sighs. “I didn’t know that.”

“I know, but now that you do, you should probably do something about it. You guys can still go back to how things were.”

Jonathan frowns. “What if things can’t go back to the way they were? I mean, Will still thinks he’s in the Upside Down sometimes. I’ve seen the way Dustin gets scared when he hears a loud noise.”

A phantom pain shoots through your ankle. It’s long since healed, but sometimes memories from last year still sting. As you’re absentmindedly rubbing at it, Nancy notices and starts to get upset.

“Doesn’t that make you mad?”

“Mad?” You and Jonathan ask at the same time.

Nancy seems to almost come back to life, her anger now bringing energy back into her. “Yeah, that those… Those people who did this, who ruined so many lives, they just get away with it.”

“The people responsible for this, they’re dead.” Jonathan gently reminds her.

Nancy leans in close, bitterness in her voice as she narrows her eyes. “Do you really believe that?”

Jonathan frowns again and you do the same. If you’re being honest, you were also pretty skeptical about the whole evil scientists at Hawkin’s Lab all dying. Seemed like a pretty convenient thing to happen. But what else are you supposed to believe?

Nancy looks between you and Jonathan and sighs again. You know she’s upset by your unwillingness to look further, to question everything, but then you watch as her eyes drift towards some kid with his headphones and his walkman. Something shifts in her gaze and you know immediately that she’s thought of something.

You scoot closer in a hurry. “Nancy, whatever it is–”

“Your mom’s boyfriend,” she looks over at Jonathan. “He works at RadioShack, right?”

“Yeah… Why?” Jonathan looks over at you as if you have any possible explanation, and you just shrug at him. “What are you thinking?”

“Do you wanna skip fourth period?”

Immediately you hop down from the car. “No. Nope. Not happening. We aren’t doing this again.”

Nancy groans at you. “Y/N, I haven’t even explained my plan to you yet.”

“Okay, go on. Explain it, so I can then say no.”

Nancy does as she’s told, and it’s a fucking brilliant plan. You know it’ll work, and that’s why you can’t do it. Buying a tape recorder, planting a fake meetup with Barb’s mom to con the Hawkin’s Lab people into taking them in, and then recording whatever they confess to take it to the detective Barb’s parents hired.

It’s a genius plan, but you can’t leave the kids behind for that long.

“I can’t go.”

Jonathan looks disappointed. “Bug, don’t you want to make those assholes pay?”

“I do,” you reassure him. “But I can’t afford to leave the kids behind for two whole days. I mean, last time I did they opened a portal to another dimension. And Dustin has been acting weird lately, and Will’s been having those episodes more and more and I just… What if it’s happening again?”

Your voice shakes a bit with fear, and Jonathan pulls you into him. “We don’t know that.”

“But what if it is? Who would be there for them? We can’t just leave them to suffer the consequences alone while we’re trying to avenge them.”

While you’re still wrapped in Jonathan’s arms, Nancy rests her own hand against your shoulder. “I would feel better knowing the kids are in good hands. You’ve always been their biggest advocate.”

You thank the girl, but Jonathan still seems unsure about leaving you behind. “What about you? Who’s gonna be there for you if something happens?”

There, hidden underneath his words, you know he’s really asking how can I protect you if you aren’t within arm’s reach?

You bury your face into his chest, and Nancy seems to get the message and looks away. When you have some privacy, you look up at Jonathan. “I’ll be okay, bee. I promise. We can call every day you’re away, nothing will go uncommunicated this time. No secrets. You’ll be home in no time and I’ll be right here, safe and sound.”

He kisses your head. “Promise me you’ll be safe.”

“I should be telling you that.”

“Y/N…” he isn’t laughing, and you can hear how fast his heart is pounding. He’s terrified to leave you behind, but you know that this is what you have to do.

“I love you, and I’ll be right here. Come home to me, alright?”

“I will.” He promises, and you look into his eyes and see all the warmth and sincerity that you’ve come to love so much, and you believe him.

After a few moments, you finally pull away from him. You clear your throat and turn towards Nancy. “Okay, now that we’ve got that settled, I’m assuming I’m covering for y’all?”

She nods. “If you wouldn’t mind, can I tell my mom I’m at your place?”

“Duh, and Jonathan,” you flick his forehead, breaking the remaining tension away. “I’ll tell your mom you’ll be at my place as well. Sound good?”

He nods as well, though his eyes linger on you longer than they should.

“Well!” You clap your hands and stand between Nancy and Jonathan. “Great team meeting, gang. Let’s reconvene in two day’s time.”

Nancy laughs and pulls you into her own hug.

“I’ll keep him safe,” she whispers into your ear, and you exhale shakily. The weight of everything has finally settled in. You can’t believe you’re doing this. A part of you feels like you’ve just solidified something horrible, not agreeing to come along, but the other part of you, maybe even the larger part, is secretly relieved.

You’re not sure what to make of it.

“Thank you.” You whisper back, squeezing her tightly.

When you break apart, you pull Jonathan into yet another hug. “Stay safe, bee.”

“I will.”

“Good,” you pull away and give the two teens a thumbs up. “Break a leg, go expose some weird government agency!”

–

True to your word, you cover for Jonathan and Nancy the rest of the day. Teachers ask where they are and you simply tell them they both had a family emergency. Thankfully, due to living in such a small and rundown town, they don’t question it.

After school, you head over across the street to the middle school to go pick up Will and Dustin. Since Jonathan drove you to school and took his car with Nancy, you’ll have to hitch a ride on your brother’s bike pegs to work.

When you reach the school you walk towards the bike rack, expecting to see the boys all standing there about to leave, but you stop when you realize that they aren’t.

Huh. Odd.

You wander around. It’s been years since you’ve been inside the middle school, and the hallways are filled with memories. You walk towards the AV room, figuring they’re probably there to discuss whatever new project they’re working on. As you round the corner, you hear pounding and a girl’s voice demanding to be let in.

Speeding up, you spot Max with her angry fists. “Guys! What’s going on? C’mon!”

You watch for a moment, curious as to who this girl is. Dustin spoke highly of her, yet her brother is the worst person you’ve met in your life. She has an anger in her, that much is obvious, but then she grabs something from her bag and begins to pick at the lock.

Hm, she’s smart.

“Need some help?” You ask her.

She looks up at you and frowns. “And who are you?”

“Y/N Henderson. Unfortunately, the idiot that I’m assuming is locked inside the room is my brother.”

“You know how to pick a lock?” Max asks, eyeing you up and down.

Shrugging, you say, “can’t be too hard.”

Max seems to accept that as an answer and slides over, making room for you to crouch down next to her. You help her jimmy the paperclip into the door. Then, you hear some muffled yelling from the other side. What the fuck has your brother gotten up to this time?

“I’m gonna put a leash on that kid,” you mumble, and Max laughs.

“Do they do this a lot?”

You blow a piece of hair out of your face. “Yeah. They’re weird, honestly–”

The lock clicks, the door flings open, and suddenly a tiny, slimy creature comes scampering out the room. You hear the boys curse and before you can get up and out of their way, they come crashing into you and Max on the ground.

“Shit!” Dustin knees your forearm and you groan.

“Y/N!” His eyes widen when he sees you. He’s been caught.

Max gets up. “What was that?”

Lucas ignores her. “He’s getting away!”

“Who is getting away?” You’re finally up as well, watching as the boys start to scramble around in a panic.

Mike, seemingly unsurprised by your sudden appearance, turns to you. “Dart!” Then, in annoyance, he turns towards Max. “You let him escape!”

“What the fuck is a Dart?” You’re freaking out now. Lucas, hearing your confusion, can only shrug his shoulders at you.

Then, Dustin angrily advances towards Mike and starts yelling in his face. “Why did you attack him?”

Mike doesn’t say a word, he just starts to run down the hall. Dustin, even more in a panic, screams at him, “Don’t hurt him! Don’t you hurt him!”

You grab at your brother’s jacket and fling him back, now incredibly fucking angry. “Dustin Henderson, you have three seconds to explain what the fuck is happening.”

Lucas, Max, and Will stand back, frightened by your anger. Dustin, the only one who ever seems to face this anger, gulps. “I can explain.”

“Start. Talking.”

And he does. He explains how he had found Dart last night, thinking it had been some new lizard breed previously undiscovered. That’s why he hadn’t let you into his room. Then, to prove he was some scientific prodigy and, which he doesn’t tell you but you suspect, to impress Max.

“I was about to show Mr. Clark before Mike came in and took Dart. According to Will…” Dustin looks over at Max, lowers his voice, and whispers to you, “he’s from the Upside Down.”

And there it is.

There, the dread that has been creeping up on you ever since you saved Will, comes crawling up. You knew this would happen eventually. It’s happening again. You were right.

God, it’s happening again.

Thank fuck you stayed behind with the kids.

You want to throw up, crawl into a ball and pretend nothing else exists anymore, but Dustin is looking at you with fear in his eyes and you know you have to be strong for him. For all the kids, now. “Okay, let’s split up and find Dart.”

Dustin nods and sends Will southbound, Lucas westbound, and Max towards the gymnasium. You go with him, both because he’s your brother and because you have a few choice words you’d like to say to him. Everyone takes a walkie and splits up.

Mike is already long gone, which you’re not surprised by.

After everyone leaves, you snap at Dustin. “Thanks so much for telling me about Dart, by the way.”

“Y/N…”

“What exactly did you think you’d do with that thing hidden in our house?”

“Continue to hide it from you–ow!” Dustin rubs the back of his head.

You continue to walk. “You deserved that.”

“I did.”

You laugh, but then you feel a sense of static behind you. You turn around, but there’s no one there. But the static had felt like the same electricity that had accompanied El’s powers last year, but… No. She’s gone. You know she is.

Brushing it off as paranoia, you continue to keep an eye out for Dart. “So, what does Max think about all this?”

“Mike won’t let us tell her.” Dustin says, annoyance in his voice.

This doesn’t shock you. “I get why. I mean, we all almost died last year.”

“Yeah, but she’s different. She’s cool, I think she could be good for the party.”

Dustin seems so eager, and you feel bad for denying the boy. “She’s too young. You’re all too young for this. We can’t rope her any further into the Upside Down. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

Your brother sighs. “I mean, I guess… but–”

Will’s voice suddenly comes through the walkie. “Guys, I found him.”

“Where?” Dustin fumbles with the walkie, almost dropping it in his frantic rush to answer.

“In the bathroom by Mr. Salerno’s.”

“Copy that.” Mike says.

You look over at Dustin. “Race you to the bathroom?”

“You’re on.”

The two of you start to run, and at first you’re winning. But then you forget that you haven’t been in the school for at least three years now and you take a wrong turn, misremembering where Mr. Salerno’s room is. “Shit!”

You backtrack, but Dustin is long gone now.

By the time you get your bearings back, Lucas, Mike, and Max have all run down the hallway towards the bathroom. You join them as you all run inside. Dustin is standing in the middle of the bathroom, which you find strange.

Mike looks around. “Where’s Dart?”

“I don’t know. Not here.” You eye your brother, but he averts your gaze.

“Will said he was here.” You remind him, but Dustin doesn’t respond.

Mike curses and starts checking all the stalls.

“Maybe Will has him?” Dustin says, but you keep an eye on him. Something isn’t right.

You’re about to call Dustin’s bluff, accuse him of lying, when Mike suddenly freezes. He looks around, then turns to you. “Where’s Will?”

You turn around and finally notice that yeah, Will isn’t here. But he had just radioed from the bathroom.

“I… I don’t know.” Fear settles in you now, and you have an awful feeling that something bad is about to happen. After his episode from the night before…

You run out the bathroom, the first to start looking for Will.

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hiramaris · 5 months

Text

Kiss It Off Me

CHAPTER 4

Chapter Summary:

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.” “No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Pairings: Haley x Fem!farmer

Disclaimer: I do not own Stardew Valley or any of the related characters. Stardew Valley is created by and owned by ConcernedApe. This fanfiction is intended for entertainment only. I am not making any profit from this story. All rights of the original Stardew Valley story belong to ConcernedApe.

Warning: Swearing, mentions of neglect

Y/n, I’m not really good at writing a note or apologizing in general. I just… feel bad about how our introduction to one another went downhill which I know is my fault. I know it's kind of rude, too to take someone's photo without their consent so, here you go. It's not the best photo but it's not, like, the worse either. And you look like you're in one with nature so the photographer in me couldn't help but to take the shot. Anyway, if you have time away from your farm, you can drop by at 2 Willow Lane in the morning or whatever so I can make it up to you somehow. It’s cool if you don’t want to if you’re, like, really mad still. P.S I don’t wake up until 8. Need my beauty sleep! - Haley <3

Spring 9

"Earlier, I was getting my mail."

Haley's chewing came to a halt as George began to speak. How odd. George wasn’t one to talk during meals. She knew this because there was never a time she missed mandatory weekly meals with the Mullners.

Nonetheless, she leaned a bit closer to hear him.

"I couldn't because of my...” he trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid. “Anyway, Pam's kid tried to help me, and I ended up shouting at her." "My goodness, George!” Gran Evelyn gasped softly, placing a hand over her heart. “Why did you do that to poor Penny?" "I— she pushed my wheelchair and touched my mail.” He averted his gaze, looking everywhere but at the three pairs of eyes focused on him. If Haley didn’t know him any better, he almost looked embarrassed rather than angry. “I... I didn't like it when people act like I'm so nimble." Granny shook her head in sympathy. "Still, honey... She's just trying to help." "I know, I know," George grumbled, stabbing his fork into a fried mushroom. "The new farmer even pointed it out to me." He looked up, his eyes boring into his wife. "I apologized anyway. It was just a bad day, and I happened to project my anger onto her."

At the mention of the new farmer, Haley perked up. Not to sound obsessed or anything or like she has been counting at all, but it has been two days since she had caught a whiff of that familiar scent of dirt and freshly cut grass that you seemed to radiate even from a mile away. If Emily’s going to twist her arm behind her back, then maybe she’ll be able to get Haley to admit that she’s the one doing the avoiding right now.

The fact that it was Haley herself who wrote a note for you to come by to make up for her rude behavior, and then when you did drop by immediately a day after, Haley would make sure she had plenty of excuses to not meet you at the door and have Emily answer on her behalf. It’s been days and she’s running out of reasons to tell Emily why she couldn’t meet her visitor, and it wouldn’t take a genius to know who’s avoiding whom.

How could she not though?

How can someone recover from a situation like that which was probably scraped off from a romantic script of a movie because it’s too predictable, and cringe?

How can you look at someone ever again knowing you had seen that face in mere inches, breath tingling the cheeks and then act like you weren’t fazed by it all?

Most importantly, how do you act after that? Apparently, it didn’t seem like a problem for you as you were so busy hustling and bustling in and out of the farm and into the town. And if you weren't busy doing your chores, then you were always dragged down by Sam’s little brother to their little class arrangement with Penny and often found you hanging out with them by the big tree just outside Haley’s home which is why she knows not because she’s actively searching for you, duh.

Okay, maybe you did try to come to her, and Haley's the one acting like you and she had a one-night stand for the way she avoids you like a plague.

Still.

She shook her head when she realized she’d been zoning out longer than she warranted. Evelyn is still giving George a piece of her mind for what he did. Haley’s so sure he’s regretting his decision by now opening this topic to his wife.

However, it was clear to Haley who was in the wrong here.

"If I may put in my two cents...?" she interjected, unable to hold back.

Alex raised a curious brow at her but remained silent. Granny, on the other hand, nodded encouragingly. "Go ahead, deary."

"I think George's reaction was valid," Haley began slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Penny touched your wheelchair and mail without consent, regardless of her good intentions, Mr. Mullner." And as an afterthought, she added, a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice, "And the new farmer agreed with her? She should have known better."

"Look at you, Hay. Queen of consent!" Alex teased, a smirk playing on his lips. "I love a girl who knows her boundaries."

Of course, the doofus would choose this time to speak.

"Haha," she rolled her eyes at a smirking Alex. He sure knows what buttons to push. "Asking consent is a bare minimum, you goof. You should practice it more often." "Hey!" "Hng," George grumbled inaudibly. "Little Miss Farmer did say that."

"Say what, dear?" "That Pam's kid should have asked me first.” George clarified. “But I should have handled it a little better, too. Can't say that she's wrong."

Despite his use of tone, he didn’t sound too upset. More like he’s in between of unable to believe that someone has the courage to stand up to him and tell him he’s wrong and still respect him as an elder, or being mad at this new farmer for sticking up her nose somewhere it doesn’t belong.

Either way, a George that isn’t grumpy is a win-win. So, they all will probably take it as it is.

"I'm glad you thought so too, dear." See? Even Granny thinks so, too. It’s better to have a plate full of her infamous cookies (and leek if you’re George) than to have a grumpy George on your plate. "Here, have some sauté leek."

George's face brightens up considerably. "I thought we don't have anymore from the pantry?"

"Miss Y/n dropped some earlier. Said to help cook your favorite dish. Isn’t she a sweetheart?”

"Hmm... I guess she's really something else then."

"I told you so, dear."

"Agree!" Alex raises a thumbs up. "She even knows how to play grid ball! She's new yet she's already better than the men here combined."

"That's lovely, deary. I hope she also influences you to read those books I gave you. I heard she's infatuated with books as Miss Penny does." "Yes, granny," Alex grumbled against his spoon.

Spring 10

She didn’t expect to see you so soon.

It’s not like she wants to avoid you forever. Ugh.

Why is this so difficult?

Her whole Spring routine is now in shambles because of you and your inability to dress nice, spreading your nasty farmer smell and being all happy smiles around children, elders, and women like some sort of Casanova and it’s infuriating!

“Hay?” Emily’s voice calling out from the kitchen stops her from her silent stewing. Haley was about to get up from her seat when Emily's voice continued, "did you clean the cushions like I told you yesterday?"

Her expression immediately turned sour, “I just cleaned them last week!”

The clanging from the kitchen stops, and the thudding of footsteps came closer. In an instant, Emily was standing in front of her with her spatula in hand.

“Yes, that’s last week. What about this week then?”

Haley rose to her feet, indignant. No freaking way she’s cleaning them again. “I always clean under the cushions and you damn well know it!" She jutted a perfectly manicured finger in Emily's direction. "It's YOUR turn this week!"

Emily scoffed at that. “You’re being childish, Haley. I do the vast majority of work in this house, and you know it.”

Haley rolled her eyes, feeling frustrated that Emily always played the responsible one. Just because she had a job outside the house, she acted like she was the only one doing anything. Haley does, too! She cooks, washes the dishes, does her own laundry, and cleans the house! But of course, Emily isn’t around enough to see all that because she has work and she’s busy thinking Haley’s lazy ass is just lounging in the house doing nothing all day!

“But that’s not the point!” Haley crossed her arms, a flash of irritation on her face. She wasn't going to let Emily get away with this. “We agreed to have schedules specifically for this and you’re not following it!”

Emily's eyes flickered with frustration. “Would it kill you to do them now? I had a rough shift yesterday.”

"You can't just pass off your responsibilities onto me every time you had a tough day at work. We made a schedule for a reason."

"I know, I know. But I just need a break today." Emily sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping.

The truth sets out then. She had a rough night and she passes the job onto Haley and made her feel guilty for it. Never mind that they agreed to have alternate schedules to do this specific job to avoid arguments yet here they are.

“Absolutely no—”

“Hello?”

Of fucking course, the farmer chooses that time to knock on their door.

Emily must have noticed the alarmed look written clearly on her face, making her smirk.

Oh, boy.

“Come in, Y/n/n! Haley’s up already.”

“Good mor—” You did a double take seeing a clearly upset Haley and an equally pissed Emily. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes,” Haley admitted bluntly, crossing her arms. A flash of recognition passed her eyes when she thought of an idea. A good one that’s for sure. “Since you’re a hard worker and all, I bet you’ll understand my point of view here.”

“Haley,” Emily warned. Haley ignores her, deciding to shift her attention to the newcomer.

You tilt your head in confusion. “What’s going on?”

Emily sighs in exasperation, before offering you a kind smile. “I’m really sorry to involve you in this, Y/n/n. Haley,” she shot her a dirty look, “is complaining because I asked her to clean the cushions—”

“— which you should be doing because it’s your schedule, not mine yet you’re shifting the blame to me.” Haley finishes for her. She turns to you, further proving her point. “It’s important to mention that I already cleaned them last week.”

“Haley…”

“Shut it, Em. I want to hear what she has to say. What’s the verdict?”

Haley may seem cool outside but she’s actually hoping for you to side her on this one. She knew she was on the right side. If you were to side with Emily, then that’s like a double edge of crap in some way and Haley refuses to bleed in front of you two.

You were silent for a good second, chewing your lips, deep in thought. Your eyes flicked back and forth between the sisters.

“Haley,” you prompted, voice slow and measured. Haley already knew at this point whom you sided with. “Why not have this be your one weekly job?”

Not that it’s important but it stings.

Haley turns to retreat to her room, but you must have noticed the look of utter disappointment on her face. You grabbed Haley's hand in panic, halting her in her tracks. The blonde couldn't help but freeze at the sudden touch. "W-wait. I’m not siding on anyone," You quickly clarified, hoping to diffuse the tension.

Haley raised a skeptical eyebrow, not entirely convinced. "Sure," she replied flatly.

“I just thought it would be the best course of action, so you don’t have to argue over it again. If you took this job, Emily won’t bother you again with cleaning the bathroom every two days. Isn’t that right, Em?”

“Yeah!” Emily agrees immediately. “Wait, what?”

Haley turns and finds you smiling down at her, clearly amused at Emily’s reaction. “doesn’t that sound more appealing?”

It does. She hates cleaning the bathroom with great passion, more so than cleaning under the cushions. If this also means it could possibly reduce Emily’s daily nagging, then your idea doesn’t seem the worst plan ever.

“Alright, you win.” Haley tried so hard to keep a straight face when she saw that stupid smile emerging again. “I guess this can be my job every week. Then there won’t be any reason to argue over it.”

Emily eyes her a bit at her sudden compliance with everything before turning back to you with an almost appreciative look. “Thanks, Y/n/n. That was a great solution.”

“Heh,” you must have noticed Haley’s eyes burning at your conjoined hands. With a timid chuckle, you retreated your hand back as you scratched your nape almost shyly. “It’s no problem, really.”

“Why don’t you stay for breakfast?” Emily suggested. “I’m almost finished cooking anyway.”

“It’s okay, thanks! But I don’t really want to impose.”

“Nonsense! I’m sure my sister won’t mind you joining us. Right, Hay?” Emily raises an equally blue eyebrow at her sister, who seemed to be in a daze.

“Your hands are rough and warm.”

“Huh?”

Your confusion snapped her out of her trance. She meets your eyes for a brief moment before glancing away. “I mean— what I meant to say was,” she sputtered pathetically. “Yeah, you can join us for breakfast.” She forces out a smile, hoping Yoba will answer her prayer one more time.

“Good!” Emily beamed. “Then I’ll get on with it. Haley, please keep our guest occupied.”

“You sure?” You asked one more time, probably noticing the grimace obviously etched on her face.

“Of course.”

“Hmm. Okay, then how about we clean these cushions now? So, you won’t have to clean them later?”

“Eh? It’s fine. I can do that later.”

“I insist. Two pairs of hands are better than one, y’know?”

“Ugh. Of course, you’ll say some dorky crap like that. Yoba, fine you can help.”

You can only laugh at her antics before moving to lift the couch.

Spring 14

She used to like her birthdays.

At least that’s what she likes to think.

What she allows herself to think.

And what she likes others to think.

It’s easier to blend into the stereotypes rather than oppose them and still get judged after.

Haley’s been called names already, all too many to even mention.

Spoiled.

Arrogant.

Self-centered and conceited.

If they are harsh enough, sometimes they’ll call her a dumb bitch.

As harsh as they are, Haley learned over the years to desensitize herself to them. Why allow yourself to be hurt by the same thing over and over again?

Her parents raised her and Emily in this big house back in Zuzu City. It was big, enormous even but empty. Can you call it home when no one cares enough to stick around? When all there ever was were big parties, and holidays spent with strangers she barely talked to, raised like the perfect little girl that she is, given with just as empty praises and gifts just as thoughtless.

Haley is practically the epitome of class and luxury. The living embodiment of perfection. Perfect face, perfect body, and oh-so-perfect stats. She’s smart (street smart or preferably photography smart if there’s one or whatever), rich and famous. Most importantly, she’s popular and has a reputation to protect. Everything that Emily probably isn’t. Yet she’s the one happier.

She’s the one who moved on while Haley remains still where their parents left them.

How could they be gone though if, in the first place, they were never present? Where were they when Haley won her first photography contest? Did they know the photo was Emily sewing her first design? Haley doesn’t think so.

They are not abusive though. In terms of needs, they never wasted seconds to tend them in the most grandiose and luxurious ways as possible— the newest phone, latest camera, expensive make-up, and all available seasonal designer clothes. Good but not great either. Haley can say they are just plainly emotionally unavailable. They weren’t ready at all to be parents. They were too young when they had Emily.

Early twenties were not even that young, but it was a stage of exploring the world and what it could still possibly offer them. They can’t have all that with children in tow. So, when the opportunity arises, they took it without hesitations. After all, both their children are fully capable on their own.

But Haley needed someone. She needed a father. She needed her mother. Hell, she needed her sister. She needed someone warm, a nicer, wiser person. Someone to cry to, to talk to, to laugh to.

She calls out but the house is empty.

So, tell me. How can I be childish when I’m forced to grow up because everyone already is?

Haley hated them with passion. The crumpled piece of letter in her hand was obvious enough to what extent she does.

Another birthday card.

No hugs and kisses.

No cake.

No parents.

Some birthday this is.

She lets out a dry chuckle. It seems Emily had forgotten about her day. She had taken off at dawn's first light without even a second thought. While Alex? She doesn’t expect him to remember. At least not until later than noon. The idiot, really.

“Thought I’d find you here.” Haley didn’t have to look up to see who it was, but she did anyway. There you are with your blinding smile again. Beads of sweat can be seen forming on the side of your forehead just below a small cut that seemed to be healing well already. Your clothes are lightly butchered, a sign you were up and about on your farm yet the sight of you lifted her spirit a little.

“Done with your chores?” she asked as you sat down next to her. Weirdly enough, the smell of dirt doesn't seem sore on the nose anymore, and Haley starts to wonder why.

It was a pleasantly warm Sunday. Usually, the kids will be playing here and Haley's glad she get to enjoy a quiet time in the park even for a little time.

You hummed. “Woke up extra early to finish them all.”

“Why? You have plans?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Naw, had to run some errands so I can give you this,” You turned to your rucksack that Haley failed to notice once again. It was bulging. Haley could only catch sight of the color brown before you successfully hid it behind your back. “Give me your hands.”

Haley narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to prank me, are you?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Is it a bug? You know I hate them.”

“Just do it, Hay.”

Surprised at the sudden usage of the nickname, Haley finally complied. She desperately hopes the sunlight would hide the tinge of redness starting to form on her cheeks.

Carefully, you placed a coconut on her open palms. It was plump and perfectly shaped as if it had been carefully chosen just for her. It was even wrapped poorly with a red ribbon that is a bit wrinkly and crinkled on the edges which must be because of how it was forcefully shoved in her bag. But Haley didn't find it in herself to mind. Not when you're looking at her like that as you hold your gift.

“Happy birthday, Haley,” you greeted warmly.

Haley blinked, her eyes started to water, her insides warming up in all ways possible. But she didn’t dare cry.

"I... I love coconuts." Haley looked up. Her own lips betrayed her as they curled up in the widest grin she ever had. “How did you know?”

“Well...” You scratched the back of your head, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “Remember when you treated my cut the other day? You made me choose between a sunflower band-aid or a coconut one. So, I kinda assumed they were your favorites.”

“B-but how? You can’t possibly summon a coconut tree at will, or even had the time to go to Calico desert.”

You laughed at that. “It was pure luck, Hay. I just talked to the traveling merchant the other day and she said she had a couple of ones in stock. But she warned me I had to buy one early today or else she’ll run out just before noon.”

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.”

“No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Happiness looks good on you, too.

****

A/n: I hoped I did Haley's heart event justice because she deserved soooo much better. I refuse to believe her mean girl façade is because she's plain mean. My girl is better than that.

Anyway, sorry for the super late update. You know, the usual, due to school stuff and it just so happens senior year is the busiest year of all. Had to make sure I'm complying with all the needed requirements so I can graduate this year.

Thank you, guys, for your patience. Love y'all but I love my wife more <3

#stardew valley #stardew haley #stardew farmer #stardew fanfic #haley x reader #haley x farmer

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crownprincecody · 8 months

Text

WIP Wednesday

It's been months since I've written anything at all, let alone for the ship that I adore. But, today I woke up with inspiration and - to prove I've returned from my hermit like existence in a deep cave somewhere - I thought I'd share a little something.

So, without further ado, I present a small rough snippet of an upcoming fic in my original Senator Obi-Wan series.

"How can you be so calm?" Padmé hissed out of the corner of her mouth, eyes following the team of bounty hunters holding them hostage.

"I've been kidnapped eight times," Obi-Wan replied softly, standing in the midst of his fellow hostages as serenely as anyone ever had.

If anyone had a right to serenity amidst abduction it was Obi-Wan. He held the record for the most kidnappings - attempted or otherwise - among the cohort of Republic Senators - past and present. Yes, it was true that four of his kidnappings technically didn't count, as the would-be kidnappers were thwarted in their efforts before they left Coruscant and once before the kidnapper had so much as said halt. But the principle remained nonetheless.

He had been the victim of so many attempted kidnappings that it was practically routine to him now.

Distantly, Obi-Wan realised that ought to worry him more than it did. But, there were more pressing matters to concern him. Like the squad of heavily armed mercenaries currently keeping them hostage. And the severe glare Commander Fox would give him when he realised how much danger Obi-Wan had found himself in this time.

Somehow, he felt that maintaining that this was demonstrably not his fault was not going to buy him any favours with the crotchety commander.

"This isn't a kidnapping," Bail whispered, moving ever so slightly closer to them. "We're being held hostage."

Obi-Wan inclined his head fractionally, conceding his point. "Which makes this distinctly easier for our rescuers. They already know where we are."

Riyo Chuchi sidled closer to them, her eyes impossibly wide as she took in the scene unfolding in the Senate building atrium. "And the squad of heavily armed mercenaries between us and rescue?"

Obi-Wan hummed softly, understanding Senator Chuchi's point. Still, he smiled; heavily armed mercenaries were nothing in the face of what was coming for them. "Padmé has friends in the Jedi Order. I was a part of the Jedi Order, and-" Obi-Wan's tone softened impossibly, fully aware how besotted he was. "Cody's here on leave."

And his dear Commander was going to be very displeased when he realised Obi-Wan was being held hostage.

Obi-Wan pitied the unfortunate lifeforms who made the mistake of accepting this job.

"Two Jedi with reputations for insanity, one marshall commander who has a reputation for being prepared to destroy Coruscant to find you, and as many of his brothers as the Commander can rustle up," Chuchi shuddered elegantly, a smile hiding about her lips. "How much chaos can one Senate building contain?"

"It doesn't have to contain it," Obi-Wan murmured, watching the nearest mercenary with wary eyes. "Not for long, at any rate. With Anakin and Cody both involved, we should be free in time for the next debate."

Bail's mouth pulled down in an unhappy frown. "Maybe we can hold out a little longer."

Obi-Wan bit back a chuckle. He hadn't particularly been looking forward to the upcoming Senate debate either.

"No talking!"

Obi-Wan favoured the masked mercenary with a baleful glare. "We're politicians," he reminded him, as if that pertinent fact could have slipped his mind. "All we do is talk. You'll have to forgive us for following our natural inclinations."

Bail sighed, quietly despairing. "Obi-Wan, I don't want to explain to Cody why it was necessary for the mercenaries to shoot you."

#codywan #obi wan kenobi #star wars #fanfic #Bluebellstar's writing #Sorry for being gone so long I think I had burnout

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king-bumis-armpit · 9 days

Note

Hey! I’m just reaching out to say that I would be really interested in reading the continuation for the “how Zuko finds out Mai and Kei Lo broke up” fic.

I love your fics! Thank you for giving us Maiko content!

Put a Ring on It, Part 2

Find part 1 here

Summary: Mai goes out on a date, and comes back to find her ex-boyfriend loitering in her Aunt’s shop.

Author’s note: Thank you so much to everyone who showed interest in a part 2!! It makes me so happy you all enjoy my silly little stories ^^ And big thank you to @ninolovers. I love your page so much!!

This one got… a little less silly and a little more angsty. And my hand slipped, so I added more sappiness than intended. It’s perhaps a tad ooc, but I hope you all enjoy!!

Also, I’m still taking fic ideas, but I will probably be slow in writing them. Thank you to everyone who’s given me ideas so far <3

Cross posted on AO3 and Tumblr

TW: Canonical violence and more kissing than I normally write.

WC: 3349

“Um… so… what do you like to do for fun?” Kage asked.

Mai held back a sigh. The awkwardness was palpable, but the young man in front of her was trying his hardest to make conversation. Mai knew she should make an effort as well. “I like throwing knives, sharpening my knives, and collecting rare knives.”

Kage ran a hand through his hair. “That’s cool.”

Silence descended once more as the pair focused on their lunch. Ty Lee owed Mai so many cups of tea for this.

She had recently started dating Kaori, one of her fellow Kyoshi Warriors. Of course Mai was happy for her, she liked Kaori well enough and it was nice to see her friend even more bubbly than usual. However, when Kaori’s brother came to the Fire Nation for a visit, Ty Lee not-so-subtly began pushing for a double date. Mai, wanting to be a good friend, agreed. Big mistake. When she arrived at the garden restaurant, it was just Kage. The girls had “urgent warrior business to attend to,” which Mai assumed involved making out in the sparring rooms of the palace.

Nonetheless, Ty Lee had chosen a great spot for a date. The restaurant was outside of the Caldera proper and built on one of the smaller hills overlooking the harbor. The owner of the establishment had turned the surrounding grounds into a large outdoor garden, and installed large picture windows on every wall. Even in the rain, the view was striking.

Mai was trying very hard to keep her irritation at bay. It wasn’t this guy’s fault that Ty Lee had ditched her. And Ty Lee herself was probably trying to help. After Mai’s break up with Kei Lo, Ty Lee had encouraged her to either talk to Zuko or start making a serious effort to move on. This was clearly a ploy to get her out in the dating game again after so many months of refusing. Unless… unless there really was urgent warrior business that involved Zuko’s security.

A bolt of anxiety coursed through Mai’s chest, and she forced herself to tamp it down. That was not a possibility. Zuko was safe. She needed to think about anything else. “I met your sister in prison!” It was a rather inelegant attempt at human interaction. Mai was normally much better at this, and Zuko was the one who floundered.

“Oh, yes. She told me. You and her girlfriend were part of the resistance to Ozai’s rule, right?”

Mai feared that Kage had been told a nicer version of events, but she did not have the mental energy to figure out what was safe to say. If there were rules, then Ty Lee should have come to enforce them. “We were eventually, but first we actually helped Fire Nation conquer Ba Sing Se by pretending to be the Kyoshi Warriors. It was really ironic when Ty Lee became one for real.”

Kage frowned. “So when did you join our side and get arrested?”

Mai stiffened. “That’s a long story. We actually broke my ex-boyfriend out of a different Fire Nation prison.”

“Are you all known for your prisons or something?”

He had no idea. “Umm… some of them. The one my ex-boyfriend was being held in is called the Boiling Rock. My uncle is actually the Warden there.”

Kage smiled, “That’s good! He must have helped you.”

“Uh…” Mai did not know how the conversation had blown up so quickly. “He kind of hated my ex. He threatened to end him for breaking up with me in a letter. But my ex’s friend took him hostage…” Kage was staring blankly at his plate. “Um… anyway, what did Kaori tell you about Ty Lee?” That would have been a much safer place to start.

Kage looked up. “She told me about the aura-reading thing. Ty Lee said my aura was vibrant orange. What about you?”

“She says it's gray.”

He looked sympathetic. “That’s not very nice of her. I’m sorry.”

Mai raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think it’s so bad.” Personally she thought orange was hideous, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. “I like gray. It goes with the steel of my knives.”

Kage pursed his lips. “Right. Your knives.” Mai would’ve thought he’d be used to female knife wielders, being related to a Kyoshi Warrior and all. But she acknowledged that her life story made for a rather unsettling lunch topic.

She searched her mind for a mundane question to ask: “So… how has your visit to the Fire Nation been so far, Kage?”

“It’s been really nice. The scenery is so beautiful here,” he gestured around them meaningfully, to the stormy gardens.

“Are you staying in the capital for the week?” Mai asked.

“Yes. And then my sister and I are taking a trip to Ember Island for a few days. Have you ever been?”

“Many times. I used to go there as a child.” Mai thought back to those sunny days playing with Zuko and Azula in the sand. Then her mind turned to her most recent visit.

— —

After wrecking Chan’s house, Azula declared a tactical retreat before the authorities showed up. The four friends made their way back to the sea-shell cottage, but Mai was too wired to sleep. Azula marched confidently inside with Ty Lee hanging off her arm. Zuko followed, but paused at the threshold, noticing that Mai had stopped.

“I think I need to decompress. I’m going to go for a walk.”

Zuko let the door close. “I’ll come with you.”

Mai pursed her lips. He had said a lot around that campfire earlier, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it all. She had forgiven him, but it still stung.

Sensing her hesitation, he walked over and took and took her hand. “I'm sorry for earlier. I promise I’ll be quiet if you want me to. Just don't go alone.”

She leaned into his side. “It's fine. I have an idea.”

She led him across the beach in the opposite direction of Chan’s house. They reached a rockier stretch of shore and Mai knew they were in the right place. She guided him through the rocks until she found what she was looking for. A large tide pool lay at their feet.

Zuko gasped, “This is just like when we were kids. Do you remember? We would search for urchin-crabs!”

Mai smiled, “I remember. Why do you think I brought us here? Can you give us some light?”

Zuko created a small flame in his palm and the pair crouched down to peer in the water.

“There!” Sure enough a deep purple spiny shell scuttled across the bottom. Zuko laughed, “I loved coming here because Azula was afraid of the crabs. It was the only time we could play together without her.”

Mai smiled at the memory. “Yeah. But come to think of it, that was probably good for her. It gave her a chance to be alone with your mom.”

“Hmm. I guess that’s true. I hadn’t thought about it before. It’s… hard to think about those times. I know I keep saying this, but everything feels different.”

Zuko stood, and Mai followed with a frown. Ever since Zuko returned, he kept talking about how everything felt off. She knew that he was referring to deeper issues, his relationships with his family and feelings about affairs of state, but it was hard not to take it personally. When he left, she was a shy little girl and now she was a moody teenager.

Mai sighed. “It’s been a long time since you’ve been home, and even longer since you’ve been here. It’s natural that things have changed.” She put a hand on his back. “If you need time to figure out why you’re so upset and so angry, then you can have it.”

Zuko had the nerve to pout. “You normally tell me that not everything’s changed and that I don’t have to worry.”

Mai rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well it doesn’t seem to be helping.” She dropped her arm. “I’m saying that if you need… if you need to be on your own, and reassess what we thought the future would be, you can do that. Just let me know sooner rather than later.”

Zuko furrowed his brow. He was about to speak, and then it clicked. “Are you breaking up with me? Again?! Mai–” her name sounded like a strangled prayer.

“Calm down! I’m not breaking up with you. I just– I don’t know how to help! I thought maybe I was part of the problem.” Mai abruptly sat back down at the edge of the tidepool and brought her knees to her chest. She felt tears prick her eyes and so she hid her face.

Zuko sat slowly behind her. “Mai, you are the only person I have never doubted. When you kissed me in Ba Sing Se, it was literally a dream come true. The only reason I didn’t jump for joy was… uncle. But I really like how you are now.” Zuko wrapped an arm around her.

“I thought I was a big blah.”

Zuko winced, but he didn’t retract his arm. “No. You’re not. I was just frustrated because I can never tell what you’re thinking. I really thought you liked Ruon Jian for a second there.”

Mai unburied her face to glare at her boyfriend. “But why? I hardly spoke to him! He came up and talked to me for like two seconds before you tossed him across the room.”

Zuko chuckled. “That felt good.” Mai narrowed her eyes, and Zuko pulled her in closer. “Seriously though, I think the fact that I’m relying on you so much is part of the problem. I mean it when I say you’re the only thing that hasn’t changed for me. If you found someone else, I would be all alone. And I know that isn’t an excuse to be awful, but I want you to know it’s not like I don’t trust you or anything. I was just scared.”

Mai could relate. Even in his banishment, when Mai pictured her future, Zuko was by her side. For him to return so unsettled in his own vision of the future… it was affecting her more than she’d realized.

Mai tucked her legs under her and put her arms around Zuko’s neck. “Honestly, I’d already forgiven you. Now, tell me more about the feelings that haven’t changed.”

Zuko was smiling broadly now in the moonlight. “First of all, I love you. I trust you. I want to be the person who makes you smile the most.”

Mai blushed fiercely, glad for the cover of darkness, “Okay–”

But Zuko continued, “I’ve always wanted to undo your hair and run my fingers through it.” He moved his hand from her shoulder to the back of her head and took out one of her buns, and her hair cascaded down her back.

Mai laughed, but protested, “Hey!”

“And I want to kiss you.” Zuko buried her fingers in her hair. Mai closed her eyes. They both leaned in. She could almost feel the touch of his lips when–

Sploosh! Something in the tide pool made a noise and Zuko let out a rather unmanly squeal, as they sprang apart. He called the fire back to his palm. Another urchin-crab had joined the first, ostensibly by utilizing the belly-flop method.

Mai cackled, “Looks like Azula isn’t the only one who’s afraid. Don’t worry, my sweet prince, I’ll protect you.”

Zuko smirked. “Please do.” At long last, they shared their kiss. Zuko pulled back to look into her eyes. “For real, Mai, keep protecting me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Mai held him close. “I promise. I’ll always be by your side, as long as you want me.” And she was, until she wasn’t.

— —

“Umm… Mai, I asked what you did? On the island?”

Oh, right. She was on a date. With Kage. It appeared she had frozen with her chopsticks halfway to her mouth. Her mother would have some choice words about the propriety of such an incident.

“I always enjoyed searching the tide pools for urchin-crabs. You can also collect shells on the beach if you’re…” She really shouldn’t say stupid, “into that kinda thing. Or you could play beach volleyball.” He seemed unimpressed. Maybe she should try for a joke? “Oh! I had one friend who was really into arson and destroying private property, but I wouldn’t recommend it for your first visit.”

“Right. Well… this has been really great but I just remembered that I wanted to take a walk around the gardens. Alone. So, I’ll just…” Kage stood. “Thank you for your time.” He sprinted into the rain as thunder cracked in the sky above.

Mai had officially been ditched for the second time in one day. Third, if you counted Kaori’s ditching separately from Ty Lee’s. And now Mai was left to foot the bill of both meals, after which she would have the pleasure of walking home alone in the rain. Yippee.

— —

For some reason, Auntie had hung the closed sign on the door. Not that Mai minded, she was most certainly not in the mood for small talk and, in this weather, they probably weren’t getting any customers anyway.

She stomped in and began shaking off her coat. “How was your outing, dear?” her aunt asked. Her tone was weirdly formal, but Mai was too preoccupied to think too deeply about it.

“It was awful!” She whipped her coat in the air, and it made a satisfying crack. “I never–” crack– “want to see–” crack– “another man again!” crack!

Satisfied with the state of her coat, she hung it on one of the hooks by the door and turned to face her aunt. And, standing beside her, was the Fire Lord, ruler of the nation and her ex-boyfriend. Mai said a silent prayer to Agni, letting him know that now would be a good time to engulf the world in a sea of flames.

Auntie Mura broke the uncomfortable silence. “Well, I’ll leave you two to it, then.” With that, she disappeared into one of the many back rooms.

“H-hi.” Zuko looked terrified. He was white as a ghost, and he was holding his hands behind his back in a poor attempt to conceal something. She remembered Ty Lee’s urgent business, and she knew her aunt’s shop was registered as a secure escape location when they were dating. What if there was an attack and his hands were injured?

Mai made her way through the plants in the shop to stand before him. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“What?” Zuko asked. “I’m fine. Why?”

“You look shaken. And Ty Lee said… Ugh, never mind. She was probably lying to make out with her girlfriend.”

Zuko chuckled. “You mean Kaori? Yeah, I’ve had to talk to them about PDA on duty. Suki tried but she couldn’t get through.”

Mai allowed herself a small smile. “Good luck.”

Zuko bit his lip. “Mai… the truth is, I am nervous. I ran into Kei Lo earlier while he was engagement ring shopping.”

“What?!” Mai was astonished. They’d only broken a few months ago, right? She didn’t like him romantically anymore, but it hurt to realize he’d outpaced her. Especially with how her date earlier had gone.

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” Zuko seemed very uncomfortable now. “I didn’t think you would care.” She could hear his temper sneaking into his voice.

“I don’t!” It didn’t sound convincing even to her. “I mean, I don’t care that he’s moved on, but now I feel… like I lost a race.’

Zuko snorted, “That’s not how it works–”

“Yeah, I know. Get on with your story.”

“Right,” Zuko continued. “I thought he was going to propose to you and I might… have gotten just a bit jealous.”

Mai’s head was spinning. “If you’re proposing now, I can’t.”

Zuko shook his head. “Not yet.” Her heart fluttered. “But I did get you something.” He brought his hands in between them and offered her a long jewelry case. She opened the lid. Inside rested a beautiful silver necklace. The charm was a plum blossom, her namesake flower, and in the center sat a garnet, her favorite gem.

“I don’t know what to say. It’s gorgeous, and it’s exactly my taste, but why?”

Zuko delicately took the necklace back and moved behind her to clasp it around her neck. “When I was in that shop, I realized that I would never be happy if I didn’t try to fix things again and remind you of how I feel. I know it’s been a long time since our breakup, but consider this an apology and a vow to do better.” His fingers grazed her nape as moved her hair back in place over the necklace.

Mai crossed her arms. “And do you know why you have to apologize? You can’t just throw jewelry at me.”

Zuko walked back around and grasped her upper arms. “I never should have stopped talking to you. I never should have hidden things from you. Mai, I was afraid you would realize how bad of a screw-up I was and leave. But, in the end, I drove you away on my own. I am so sorry. Please–” his voice broke, and a tear rolled down his cheek. “Please come back.”

“Okay,” Mai’s own voice was quivering and her vision was blurry. She embraced him tightly. They stood like that for a few minutes listening to the rain fall.

Mai realized that she still had that same old fear of heartbreak and future rejection. It was temporarily sated, but she could sense it beneath the surface. Perhaps it was part of her, and nothing to do with Zuko at all. She held onto him with all of her strength. She had always known the reason he brought out that emotion was because she loved him in a way that she hadn't loved anyone else before or since. It was so worth it, there was no one else for her. Now, it was her turn to trust him to protect her in the future. And she found that she did.

“This is the best day of my life,” Zuko whispered into her hair.

“And it's all because of Kei Lo?” she asked teasingly.

“Honestly yes. I wouldn't have had the courage to talk to you without him.” He pulled away slightly to frown at her. “Especially since your Aunt told me you were on a date.”

Mai laughed. “Don't worry, you heard how that went.”

Zuko remained unmoved. “Was that guy rude or creepy to you?” He moved his hands to her waist and brought her close again. “I can and will have him exiled if he–”

“No, no, no.” Mai assured him. “I think I was the weirdo. Besides, he’s Kaori’s brother so he's returning to Earth Kingdom soon anyway.”

“Good riddance.”

“Zuko, you don’t even know him.”

“I don’t need to!” he insisted. “At least you were happy with Kei Lo.”

Mai rolled her eyes. “Kei Lo was my boyfriend, and Kage was a blind date. There’s a difference there.”

“Well I don’t like him! I wish I knew the second you and Kei Lo broke up. I would have been here in a heartbeat.”

Mai caressed his cheeks. “You could have visited sooner, as my friend.”

“I’m not proud of this, but I don’t know if I could have handled that.” Zuko was right. They both had a lot of progress to make.

“I understand… I probably would have turned you away. I’ve still been figuring things out too.”

Zuko smiled, “Can we figure them out together?”

Mai smiled back at him. “Honestly, I would love that.”

They leaned in, and, as their lips met, the sun appeared from behind the clouds. Even through the windows of the shop, it reflected the gold of his crown and the silver of her necklace in a brilliant array.

#atla maiko #avatar the last airbender #atla #zuko #mai #atla mai #atla zuko #maiko #mai x zuko #zumai #atla fanfic

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yuikomorii · 9 months

Note

Hey Admin, I read your Reiji opinion and I was wondering if you’d like telling us about Subaru too? He’s my best boy and it’s been a while since I’ve read something about him. I’m not forcing you tho, you can answer it just if you want. Have a great day, bye!^^

// Subaru is definitely in my top 5 Diaboys! He’s precisely on the 4th place and he would have been on the 3rd one if only he didn’t “fight” with Laito for that spot, who keeps winning me over every time I hear his voice. :”)

I appreciate how he may appear frightening and rude, yet he has a really kind heart and he's simply so pure when he talks about his interests! The only thing that bothers me about him is that he almost never acts when someone is in danger unless he is personally involved in the situation, but I can't entirely blame him because he is most likely terrified, so he minds his own business. That may not be particularly heroic of him, but it doesn't make him a bad person anyway.

Aside from that, it’s not his fault here but I’m convinced the writers have something against him because his routes are all less entertaining compared to the rest. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him in HDB, he hit different there and I understand that he can’t suddenly start being confident with the power of love, however it’s such a turn off how all his main game routes revolve around him feeling unloved, insecure and thinking that everyone hates him when it was proved IN EVERY ROUTE that everyone actually CARES about him and IS there for him. It’s like everything starts all over again for what?

I feel bad for Subaru but I also feel bad for Yui for having to reassure him each and every time that he matters, he’s beautiful, he’s not like his father, everyone loves him and so on. He’s really likeable to me but they sometimes do him way too dirty. ;w;

And don’t even get me started on why Christa was even included in his DF route. She seemed more normal in MB, whereas in DF she was straight up crazy and it didn’t even give her a proper redemption arc like they did with Cordelia.

Moreover, whoever wrote LE had beef with Subaru and you can’t tell me otherwise. Not only did the writer make him try to romance Yui in Kou’s route, which resulted in him being slapped by her —I mean, I understand Yui’s reaction because she loved Kou there, but it's still a trashy situation— but on top of getting rejected, he also, as far as I recall, accidently ended off his own mother?? 😭😭

Last but not least, I’m pretty sure every time Seiji appeared in LE in his brothers’ routes, Yui was like “Idc father, I’m siding with my man” on the spot but when it came to Subaru’s route, she actually debated which one to choose between him and her dad——? It’s obvious that Subaru is extremely dependent on her and he got such a low self-esteem, so why would you pull that on him out of all characters? It’s even worse when you remember his brute ending… (ಢ_ಢ)

I tried to make this quite detailed, keeping in mind that you stated missing reading something about him. As for my final thoughts, I doubt they'll make a new game, but if they do, I truly hope they will develop his character and his relationships with Yui, Kou, and his brothers better. Nonetheless, his tsuntsun side is adorable, and he's generally chill (well… when not enraged, lol). Bonus points for liking animals; I recall him telling the MMV cat, "Don't leave my side," which may sound dramatic, but l found that sweet~! xD

#admin

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akiyamastar · 11 months

Text

Okay, here we go. Lingering thoughts I had about the Hands of Time season, and a character analysis of Nya and Kai Smith that accidentally happened in the process.

I was excited to watch season 7, considering Kai and Nya's backstories could potentially be brought to light, and they're my top two favorites. I was speculating on what we'd see in the season. Perhaps we'd see how the two managed on their own. We'd learn the truth behind their parents' backstories, where they've been, and their potential stance in the war 40 years ago with the Time Twins.

Nonetheless, while the season does introduce these elements, it doesn't dive deep enough with them. In a previous post, I talked about how they could have made the war more nuanced in nature so the Time Twins would have a better motive, leading to others having a reason for helping the "bad side" (hence, their parents being "traitors" for a good reason). It would've been an intriguing concept.

The tension in the scene when Kai confronts Ray was really good and one of my favorite parts of the season: it could've continued a running idea of conflict between the weight of what one believes in versus carrying on the legacy of one's parents.

However, the "traitor" concept was immediately thrown out over the course of a few minutes, which I found disappointing due to the suspense and build-up throughout the course of the entire season.

It left me wondering what the point of setting up such a plot point was. However, I do understand them not wanting to add too much complexity and simply making it a misunderstanding.

What bothered me more about the season was not this, though, but the lack of exploration of the impact of their parents not being there on Nya and Kai.

If you think about it more. The fact that Kai had to raise Nya alone is fucked, for lack of better words. They confirm they're teenagers in season 8, so they were extremely young when having to take care of the blacksmith shop and live on their own, and the two Smiths are close in age. The idea of Kai easily letting all this go without any confrontation, even if he's now realized that his parents were forced into blacksmithing for the enemy, feels uncharacteristic of him: they were never there when their two children needed them most. I was wondering why that emotion wasn't explored more in Hands of Time.

It is true that it's not their parents' fault that they could not support them -- they were threatened and forced to work for the Time Twins at the risk of their children being endangered. However, this doesn't negate the fact that they had to manage everything alone at an abnormally young age.

Additionally, while Nya is more cool-headed than her brother, she still has the same sense of frustration toward similar things, even if she tries to dial it back. The whole thing with Samurai X was bothering her during the season, leading to her being more distracted by that. Still, she does have a tendency to enjoy picking things apart, and I feel like she would normally have been invested in figuring out the logo on the helmet. She’s also someone who has strong beliefs, and I honestly thought she’d react more too, just like Kai did.

In general, I can’t imagine the two siblings not feeling inwardly torn about how they feel seeing their parents again after so long, even when confirming they’re not traitors, considering the psychological effects of being estranged from them for so long.

From how long they were on their own, it’s also no wonder the two siblings have developed the same tendency to be hard on themselves, wanting nothing more than to be strong and self-reliant. Consequently, they’ve developed an abnormal vigor toward self-improvement.

For Kai, this is expressed more outwardly with his anger towards not being "powerful" or "good enough". There's also his stubbornness in wanting to be the “chosen one”, although this is more present in earlier seasons when the green ninja was undecided. While he's gotten better, this internalized envy does come back to bite him. In current seasons, Kai’s main issue stems from his powers making him either feel too confident or not confident at all. When he doesn’t have his elemental powers, he falls into a slump and is worried about being weak.

For Nya, her need for strength is somewhat expressed more inwardly, with her wanting to build up her strength and not rely on anyone. This is shown by her reluctance to let Jay into her heart due to the fear of being undermined, the way she secretly builds up Samurai X’s persona and trains on her own, and generally her hesitance in being part of the ninja versus standing confidently alone, preferring to be independent. Especially considering she was once kidnapped by Garmadon, I bet that event was traumatizing for her and may have made her feel that she can’t afford to be a “liability” ever again. She does try to act more rational than Kai, but it's clear that she has the same impulsive, "I need to be strong" nature.

I was expecting more feelings of inner turmoil towards seeing their parents again, and maybe even anger, because where had they been all their lives? Why weren't they present as parental figures to the point that they didn't even know if they were alive or not? I did want to see the emotional clash drawn out better.

In the end, I also felt that we're still left with many unanswered questions that make the Nya and Kai focus season, which could've had a lot of potential, appear weaker when addressing the core elements of their backstory.

I love both of them a lot and I enjoyed the season regardless. Even then, the topic of their parents does make me speculate about the details of their childhood, and the lasting effects their separation had on the two siblings, only having each other as family.

#ninjago #character analysis #kai smith #nya smith #Me when I write a dissertation over a kids show #hands of time #kai ninjago #nya ninjago

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soullikethesea · 2 months

Text

More parts stuff

I woke up still feeling connected to Fox, and with a book in mind. Remembered that Fox really loved that book. The theme of the book is grief and wondering about being bad.

"Why am I made the way I am? Why do I care about all the wrong things, and nothing at all for the right ones? Or, to tip it another way: how can I see clearly that everything I love or care about is illusion, and yet – for me, anyway – all that’s worth living for lies in that charm

A great sorrow, and one that I am only beginning to understand: we don't get to choose our own hearts. We can't make ourselves want what's good for us or what's good for other people. We don't get to choose the people we are.

...

A self one does not want. A heart one cannot help."

(From The Goldfinch, by Donna Tart).

It connects to Fox, but to younger parts as well. I felt that conflict so strongly, that who I was was bad. And that, at the same time, there was no escaping it. I could try and try and try, control as much as I possibly could, but my real self would still shine through. I still cared too much, cried too much, loved too much. The best I could do was hide it, but I could never change it - no matter how much it disgusted me.

Fox carries that sense of being unable to escape it and being rejected by adults. Longing for people to please, please care. Please be kind. Please love me. Please welcome me with open arms. Please tolerate me.

I was lucky that my sister tried to help me when she got older. I could feel that she felt sorry for me, that she realized something unjust was going on. She was constantly nauseous, which later turned out to be psychosomatic. She must have been super stressed out from how unsafe things were. My brother was too small too understand. He was very much in his own world.

When I feel connected to Fox, I feel connected to those heavy feelings of badness. It is a responsibility that does not belong to me. It does not belong to you, dear Fox. You don't have to make yourself as small as possible in the hopes of not being offensive. Yes, you are a teenager and teenagers can be difficult to connect with for adults. But perhaps you can think of your sister - she saw something in you that was worth helping? And our mom's new boyfriend, he also connected to you, didn't he?

He must have seen *something* in you, right? And was it hard to connect with him? No, it wasn't. So were you *really* that hard to connect with? What did it take? It only took him showing you where constant snacks were available, that he had a very shy cat that he still loved nonetheless, that he had a gay daughter who was still more than welcome, that he asked questions and read a book you mentioned, that he asked you if you wanted to join for activities. Those things felt threateningly nice. Heart-meltingly, devastatingly, terribly nice. It still makes me cry to think of it. *Someone* saw you and didn't think you were terrible, too much, needed to be reduced. Most adults in your life, Fox, they were overwhelmed. They had no space in their hearts to connect - and that was not your fault. You could have been much happier in different circumstances and much more loved. I'm with you in this shame and grief that was not your fault. I'm with you in the anger about how much it still holds you back. I wish I could scoop you up and save you. You're not too old to be saved, darling. I think you might like to read another book. It's called "A Closed and Common Orbit".

A quote:

"In that moment, she could feel a bridge stretching between her as she was right then – giggling and gasping in a spaceship kitchen – to her at four years old, sucking algae gunk from her nails in the dark. She felt as though she could reach out to that little girl and pull her through the years. Look, she’d say. Look who you’re gonna be. Look where you’re gonna go."

I'm not saying that life is perfect now, but we are more comfortable now. More accepted. Less scared. And you are welcome here as well, Fox. You don't have to carry the pain and bury it along with yourself. I'm sending cozy blankets and hot chocolates and hugs and caring looks and peace and quiet. I'm sending the message along that in this moment, right now, things are alright.

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bluefiresstuff · 1 year

Text

Okay imagine being leona's little sibling not a child but like 15-16 years old

How is your life going to be like?

Okay when you were first born leona didn't care that much about you he was like 'ugh another one..' he was fine with just Farena but you came and he wasn't having it

When his brother would ask him to come and play with her would just brushe him off he didn't want to play he wanted to sleep

And that's how it was until you became 5 and leona was 9

"Oh my god did you see the youngest kingscholar?"

"Yeah they couldn't get on their broom or make basic magic spells"

"They are such a disgrace to the family"

For god sake you were 5 so it was normal for you not to be able to do this stuff first try but unlike leona you didn't ignore the gossip about you and thought that it was YOUR fault

So you kept trying all night until

=======================

"Oi [ name ] what are you doing?"

" oh hi leona i was uh trying this training i couldn't do it so i am trying to do it.."

You were dusty you there was scratches all over your body from falling of the broom your ears are flopped downward and it seems like you were crying

"...come let's go to bed"

"But leona i still don't know how to do this"

"How about this you come to sleep with me tonight and tomorrow I will teach you is that fair"

"....promise?"

"Promise"

======================

That night you and leona slept while cuddling and leona didn't make one promise but he made two

"No matter how hard it is no matter how far you are i will always protect with my own life and i would do anything to see you smile"

--------------------

Let's time skip now to when leona left to NRC

"Big brother promise you will send letters or texts everyday?"

"Promise don't miss me too much" he said with that smug face of his

You playfully hit his shoulder which he chuckled at and the you hugged him which shocked him

" i will miss you "

'....i will miss you too'

Maybe one day he will be able to tell you that

================

Okay today is day the famous NRC ceremony yay..

You were excited to see your brother you really were but you couldn't help but be a little scared but nonetheless excited

When it was you turn you went to mirror and got your dorm if you didn't join savanaclaw leona will be a little sad but it won't matter that much

When yuu and grim entered and made a lot of chaos he pulled you to corner so you wouldn't get hurt and you two were talking about anything to distract eachother from the mess

---------------

When you noticed leona wasn't attending his classes you were a little sad (but then you understood why the teachers were surprised to see you answering and attending classes) and weren't having it so you talked to him

------------

"Hi leo"

Leona looked at you and the 'continued' his nap

You sat beside him trying to think of words so you could tell him to attend his classes

"Hey leo...can you please do me a favor?"

With how your voice sounded he got worked so looked at you so fast his neck got a whiplash he looked at you waiting for you to continue

"Can you please attend your classes?"

Silence

"I want to see the person i love the most in my life to know that even if no one noticed his improvement i will please don't think that by not at all it will make you feel better it won't believe me"

Then you left

You might think that this didn't work but leona started most of his classes maybe not all of them but it was improvement and you were willing to praise him for it

===============

When the spelldrive incident happened heartslabyul came to you with ramshackle prefect and their cat since one of the team members on [ dorm name ]

"Hey there you guys!" You waved at them and then cater waved back and faced his group and was telling them something you couldn't exactly hear because of your headphones

"Okay guys this is leona's sibling they are one of the [ defense/attack ] players on [ dorm name ]" cater whispered not wanting you to hear anything " they are on the list of being hurt"

"You mean to tell me that this is leona's sibling they are much energetic than him" riddle said clearly not believing "if anything the only thing in common is that they both are hybrid lions that's all"

"You are right about that but i asure you they are indeed his sibling" cater reashured riddle "okay let's go grim-GRIM? WHERE ARE YOU?!" yuu panicked not finding his companion "uh oh" ace said while pointing at the raccoon that was running at you "huh grim stop!" Deuce yuu and ace ran after grim leaving cater smiling nervously and riddle sighing"let's go" riddle said "after you dormleader"

They asked you if anything unusual happened recently but you said that nothing unusual happened lately they told you there plan of catching the guilty person but you said that aren't as weak as you look jokingly and that you are going to be fine

"I still don't believe this is his sibling, are you sure cater?" Riddle asked again "yes their name is [ name ] kingscholar

=================

You were looking for leona to tell him good luck on the spelldrive torment but what you saw was unbelievable.... leona w ad using his unique magic on ruggie

"Leona!! What are you doing?!!"

Leona looked at you you weren't suppose to see this

-----

Lilia started degrading leona you wanted to yell at lilia you wanted to tell him he was wrong but you were still stunned from what he did to ruggie you knew he was jealous of malleus but didn't think he would take it this far

.....then he overbloted

You wanted to save your brother riddle kept on telling you to back away but you couldn't your brother was infront of you hurting and you didn't do anything

After leona's overblot you were the first to go to his side amd the first thing he saw

"You idiot don't scare me like that again" you hugged him hard or was his body weak?eh whatever it was it was nice

--------------

You and leona played against eachother and played well and after the tournament you two would nap together

......or that's what you planned

"Uncle leona!! Uncle/auntie [ name ]"

Yeah you will nap with leona after cheka leaves after asking your dormleader of course

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst leona #leona kingscholar #platonic #riddle rosehearts #cater diamond #twst riddle #twst cater #deuce spade #twst deuce #ace trappola #twst ace #twst yuu

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knowlesian · 2 years

Text

i’ve been having some fascinating talks about implicit bias and fandom lately (and implicit bias in fandom) and i only see this stuff really discussed in certain circles where the facts don’t need to be laid out, so i wanted to sort of break it down for anybody who hasn't already seen somebody do this.

okay, so: to start.

to be flippant, implicit bias is when you Do A Bigotry and you don’t even know it.

i’m gonna focus in on race here because i’ve got the perfect example, but for reference implicit bias covers a wide array of biases and assumptions made about any given group of people, usually thanks to cultural cues or training, etc.

back when falcon and the winter soldier first aired, something fucking fascinating happened.

because one of the things i will say the show did pretty well, especially early in the season, was portray a constant stream of microaggressions and instances of implicit bias aimed sam’s way. it was one of the reasons i broke a years long marvel break and actually bothered to check it out.

in the first episode, there's a scene where sam and his sister sarah visit a bank and attempt to get a loan. the white teller recognizes sam but assumes it must be because he used to play college ball at lsu, when sam says he’s the falcon and turns on the shine to try and get this done the guy just goes ahead and takes a selfie without asking, there's some pretty realistically uncomfortable ‘ah yes, my brother, i too am down!’ bullshit, he talks over sam a bunch and won't let him talk about his plan for the business that would be a reason to give them a loan, then he acts like it’s sam’s fault being an avenger didn’t come with a paycheck and talks down to him about it in a million ways, acts like sam is a charity case and not a fuckin hero, and then is like well it’s just you see. you did not exist for five years, and you did not earn money during that time, and even though you qualify for a loan by the ‘old terms’ there are just so many more people now, sooooooo they just don't seem like good candidates for the loan. not gonna happen.

sarah says she knows it’s about their race; the teller is REAL FUCKIN OFFENDED. he says ‘whoa, easy there, i’m on your side’ in a tone of voice i don’t think i need to describe much, because when a white guy tells a black woman anything that starts with ‘whoa, easy there’ (especially because she was like, okay well that’s racist though) it’s kinda obvious how he said it.

and then, because why not: he asks sam for another selfie, this time with sam posed differently because apparently that first one he took without asking permission was not good enough.

so: i went well jesus. that’s pretty blatant. woof, with the flood of racism. that was like a neon sign.

and then i went online. and to be clear: some people talked about the racism! but it was not a majority of fans.

there was one major category of response i found... somewhat frustrating, but very understandable nonetheless: a flood of canon-based ‘um, ACTUALLY’s about how tony (or pepper) would never forget to support the avengers, or how could tony what a dick, etc etc etc.

almost none of that seemed to mention the racism busting through every seam.

and, look: i’m a pedantic little fucker. back when i consumed comics i was an x-men kid, so this was not my canon rodeo enough to even start being pedantic, but i really do understand that urge.

however, that response missed the entire point of the scene— that sam and sarah live through the endless indignities of racism, that the teller rejected their offer despite the fact that their family had been using that bank for ‘generations’ and the teller knew it, and though he did not know it consciously, he did it because they were black.

which leads me to the second school of thought, and the one that is still pissing me off to this day, a little bit.

fans arguing: okay, but that wasn’t racist! he just denied the loan because there is so much going on. why would you say he was racist? he didn’t say anything racist.

this was so mainstream an opinion the creator of the show had to clarify on twitter: no, folks. that guy Did A Racism.

and i still see people arguing the point sometimes and saying he’s wrong! still! even though he created the show and wrote that fictional man into being!

to this day, there are an odd amount of people who want to argue it’s not racism unless it’s on purpose, and it’s also not really racism until somebody uses a racial slur.

which is... you know, just sort of empirically wrong, but also stealthily loops back around to reinforcing white supremacy.

because, okay, if racism only exists in the most horrible margins and we accept that definition, who does it benefit? who wins and who is actually in control, when we decide that until the hate is so blatant those who set cultural standards go: yep, they did a racism. i see it now, it doesn’t count?

the exact wording on who wins i will leave tactfully in subtext, but i will say this: implicit bias is one zillion percent racism, and part of the reason that kind of subtle racism is so hard to even start to talk about is because people can lean into ‘well maybe they didn’t MEAN that’ or ‘i just think you're reading into it’ or ‘it’s not THAT bad’ or ‘it was just a mistake!’ etc etc etc into forever.

basically: white supremacy’s second best tool right after violence is silence. that’s why ‘silence is violence’ is such a handy phrase. it’s snappy and it’s true.

#honestly it's been great to break this shit down in messages #fandom spaces are lovely and also have their problems #getting to talk it out has been Part of This Too

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reginarubie · 1 year

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Girl, Rhaenyra doesn't even have an idea how those hands were *used* some time ago 🤡 I'm sorry princess but your precious flawless kiddo maimed his uncle and the latter suffers from chronic pains let alone he lost an eye!

Rhae is all ✨uncle rights ✨only when it comes to Daemon.

Hi @wildfieldz!

I think therein lays Rhaenyra biggest flaw. She is blind to her children's flaws. If they wanted me to feel sympathetic for them and supporting of her, I would've wanted to be shown a scene in which Rhaenyra sat down her sons and gave them an earful for what they had done.

As I kid I inadvertently once, pushed another child and he broke his ankle, though I had not done it on purpose, as we were merely playing my parents gave me the earful of my life. And not because it was my fault and I had meant to do it, but because I had been careless and someone had gotten hurt. They told me I had to be more careful and not engage in those physic plays — we were pushing each other around, I was bit wild in my youth since I lived in a little town with mostly boys my age and only another girl — where people risked to get hurt.

Imagine if I had purposefully got into a scuffle — four to one, nonetheless — and purposefully hurt somebody else. I tell you I would have been made apologize, understand my mistake and grounded for the rest of my childhood, to the very least.

What they did was cruelty. They picked on Aemond continuously because he had no dragon, the bullied him and whilst it had never turned actually physical by what we've seen, when Aemond actually proved he was above their bullying, when he showed them their bullying had only made him bolder and stronger they ganged up on him again.

And whilst I could excuse Baela and Rhaena as they were grieving for their mother and her dragon was the only last they had to her, beyond each other and I can understand their rage, especially since they lived him claiming Vhagar as him “stealing” their mother's dragon, a good parent would've sat them down, held them through their grief and told them violence is not the answer.

Jacaerys and Lucerys do not hold the excuse of having just lost their mother. They don't show us if they were close with Laena, what they show us is two bullies who see their victim finally becoming virtually untouchable — they could only bully him because he was the only one without a dragon and now not only he commands a dragon but he also has claimed the oldest, largest and strongest dragon alive — and are rageful because as of now they've lost their pride and the victim they could pick on.

The confidence boost Aemond received by proving everyone wrong — remember in the books it says that Aemond was spurned even further to try and claim Vhagar because his own father taunted him about not having a dragon and try to have the backbone to try and claim one if he managed, which is even worse, but I digress — and claiming Vhagar (and be claimed in return, because girl is a big ass dragoness who can make her choices) also helps him stand up to his bullies.

Yeah, he could've been gentler to the girls because they had just lost their mother, but it's not his responsibility to teach his cousins/nephews how to control their own rage. And yeah they fight and children fight, even thought they ganged up on him four-to-one, kicking him and attacking him whilst he was down and still Aemond got the upper hand. And still, despite that, despite them ganging up on him in such a cruel way, he says hurtful things (the truth), but he stops. Even when he can actually harm them — when he has the rock in his hand and the upper hand — he stops. He's reluctant to actually harm them beyond the scuffle.

Does that stops them? No. Jace — who brought a knife to a fists fight — waits for his little brother to take the knife to momentarily blind Aemond with sand and attack him.

They wanted to wound him in the same way he had hurt their pride by claiming Vhagar and standing up to them.

If I had done something remotely similar I would have been grounded to the next life. My parents would've had a very stern talk with me and you better believe I would have to apologize to the dude I had harmed.

Instead Rhaenyra defends them, and that's fine, that's right, but then she is never shown as reprimanding her sons for what they did. She never teaches them that's not the way one ought to act, what her sons did was her responsibility (not only because she put them in that situation herself, but because she was not looking after her kids as she ought to have but was busying herself with her own uncle — but ehi!, ✨uncle rights✨, right? — and she failed as a parent since her children acted that way to begin with. What is worse she doesn't even address this failure, but lets things going stale and the hatred to cement even further).

Aemond was permanently disabled because of what Lucerys and Jacaerys did purposefully even after he had showed he was not a real threat, by always hesitating before harming them, though he could have. And Rhaenyra never actually addressed it.

How do we know she hasn't? Because if she had, at the dinner scene after her children her saw her toast to her enemy — Alicent — and be graceful, had they been taught what they had done was wrong they would have tried to do something similar. Would it have served something? Maybe not, but it would've shown Rhaenyra actually is a good leader, because a good leader knows how to unite people and how to guide them to do the right thing.

That boy had been permanently disabled, and people at the time could die of the loss of an eye, because of all kinds of infections. Her sons got what? Some bruises and a broken nose? And not the stern earful of their life they should have received.

Uncle rights works like women rights for Rhaenyra. Only as long as it advantages her.

Passo e chiudo.

Thank you for dropping by! Sending all my love ~G.

#anti rhaenyra targaryen #anti rhaenyra #firesteel #aemond targaryen

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shallowseeker · 10 months

Note

It's not Sam's fault that Lucifer got out of the cage in season 11. It's Castiel's.

I mean, yes? I'm not here to assign blame solely to one person. What I'm saying is that Sam's rousing "I'm not your bitch," speech is sometimes held up as proof that Sam would never have given into Lucifer in this moment, and my reading is this: that's clearly not the case. Even if he hadn't given in, when you back up a sec and look at the actual situation in 11x10 The Devil is in the Details, it's Sam who's backed them into a corner (and Sam is cognizant of that):

(Image from Mikael)

==My brother will protect me==

One, Sam feels confident in part because he has an older brother/parent figure he thinks will come rushing in to protect him. This support fills him with resolve and bravado. Sam knows that even if he screws up? His family will be a soft place to fall, to borrow a modern parenting term. It's the hope speaking:

SAM: Yeah. You’ll taunt me and you’ll, ah, torture me, and I’ll say no. And eventually, sooner than you think, my brother’s gonna walk through that door and kick your ass. LUCIFER (laughing): Dean? You’re betting on Dean? SAM: I always have.

Is it nice that he has faith in the support of his brother? Absolutely. I mean, it feels nice. But let's look at the facts, Sam went off on his own and put himself in a dangerous position. He was manipulated by Rowena, so it's not like he did this on purpose.

But the consequence of his risky play is that his family now feels the pressure to step in to protect him, because they love him. This is an eloquent nod to the theme of, "You're free to make your own choices, but the reality is that your choices don't affect just you." Every member of TFW makes that mistake. Hell, nearly every major character makes that mistake!

///

==Dean and Cas aren't in any shape to fight==

As Sam rushes to try to solve the issue on his own, Dean is reeling from grace poisoning, and he's been suffering from his uncomfortable link to The Darkness. And Cas certainly was not ready to fight.

Back in 11x06 Our Little World, Dean voices his concern about Cas, and Sam said it would be, quote, "insane" to leave such a strong fighter on the bench.

Sam’s impatient. Just like he needs Dean to process quick and get off the bench, he also wants needs this from Cas:

DEAN: Well... finding her victims is still the best shot we got at finding her. SAM: Not actually true. (Sam and Dean look at each other across the hood of the Impala. Sam raises his eyebrows and looks at Dean expectantly) DEAN: Oh, what? You think he's ready? He's had a pretty rough go of it lately. SAM: Which one of us hasn't? Seems insane to leave our one and only angel friend on the bench. DEAN: (Resigned) I'll call him.

…

(The scene switches back and forth between Castiel sitting in the bunker and Dean pacing back and forth in front of the Impala as they talk. Sam is waiting in the background)

Dean knows Cas is not ready, but he calls him anyway. Although Cas is stealing Sam's room, Cas is Dean's spouse partner friend. Dean shoulders the decision, and Sam comfortably can be backseat driver in order to sidestep any consequences if this is a bad leadership move.

Now, could Dean and Cas have said no? Yes, they're responsible for their own decisions, sure. But the pressure to support despite floundering mental health is a tough familial dynamic nonetheless.

(Castiel sighs as Dean hangs up. Dean looks at his phone, shakes his head, and walks toward Sam who is on his phone.)

///

==Then, Sam goes for Lucifer's bait==

Sam falls for Lucifer's "God talking to you," shtick, and Rowena double-crosses them. Lucifer yanks Sam into the cage. Again, it's not about fault. But he and Dean had a conversation about this, and Dean is uneasy and warns him under no circumstances is he to go to the Cage:

DEAN: Can we focus on the big picture here okay? Can Sam meet with Lucifer or not? SAM: In the Cage. DEAN: No, not in the Cage. That’s not going to happen. SAM: Okay, then I don’t meet with Lucifer. Dean, we can’t let him out.

Sam takes Rowena to the bunker to research safe ways to chat the Cage from a safe distance, and Dean goes out to investigate Amara's massacres. Rowena puts pressure and pokes at Sam's impatience, luring him directly to the cage under the promise that it's safe: "It's now or never, Sam."

///

Then, Dean gets wind of the situation going sideways and calls Cas, because Cas is a critical component of Dean's support system:

DEAN: Hey Cas, I know you’re fighting the good fight right now, but, ah, I need you at Third and Pine, Kenesaw, Nebraska, because, ah, I’m going to Hell. Dean knocks on the door of a building and a slot window opens.

///

The rest is history. Sam goes to the cage, Lucifer yanks him inside, and after that, Sam, rather admirably, stands up to Lucifer. It's bright, it's quirky, it... doesn't change the reality of the situation.

SAM: Is it? Really? 'Cause this is what I think, I think that whoever wins, you or the Darkness, everyone else loses. So, no. My answer is no. This isn't because of Dean, or the past, this is about me having faith in my friends, having faith in my family. We will find a way. I'm ready to die and I'm ready to watch people I love die, but I'm not ready to be your bitch. LUCIFER: Okay, plan B. Lucifer punches Sam, who cries out and falls to the ground. His cries are heard in the adjacent room, where Rowena is still working on the spell. DEAN: Sam! Dean and Castiel run out of the room, heading to Sam’s aid.

///

==At Sam's anguished, cry, here comes the fam==

At first glance, Sam does not give into the time-honored SPN trap of, "I and I alone can fix this." On second look, it's clear that he already has. In believing he was God's chosen, and in acting impatiently at the behest of Rowena, Sam's already inside a sprung trap.

No amount of "brave Sammy talk" will change that.

This leaves Dean and Cas scrambling to get to Hell to save him, and when Lucifer hurts Sam, here they come barreling in. Because psychologically, this is how we work. To us, our families and loved ones are our little world, and that's what we work to protect:

Lucifer punches Sam in the face twice and he falls heavily against the bars of the cell, raising his hands to defend himself from more blows. CAS: Hey, ass-butt! Lucifer turns to face Dean and Castiel. LUCIFER: Dean, ah, the other one. (Lucifer snaps his fingers and they are all in the cell.) Welcome to the party. Sam gasps and chokes on his blood. Lucifer faces off with Dean and Castiel. LUCIFER: Scared? DEAN: Not even a little. Castiel gets out his angel blade, preparing to fight.

And right after his rousing speech, Sam actually loses his gutsy spirit. Now, he's pretty shook, because his family is suddenly in danger, too.

DEAN: Are you okay? SAM: Yeah. Lucifer and Castiel are still struggling. LUCIFER: You know I’m right Castiel. You know it? (Castiel continues to struggle.) You wanna play that way? (Lucifer punches Castiel.) SAM (despairing): We can’t win. DEAN: We don’t have to win. We’ve just gotta last a few minutes. Lucifer continues to punch Castiel.

///

==Then, Lucifer plays dirty==

In the cell, Dean and Sam rush to Castiel's aid, punching Lucifer, trying to hold out until Rowena performs the spell. Lucifer is restrained by Sam, while Dean punches him. LUCIFER (mocking): You hit like a human. Lucifer kicks Dean across the cell, and then turns to punch Sam. Both go down. Castiel joins in but Lucifer puts him down too. Sam gets to his feet, only to get an elbow to the face from Lucifer. Dean tries again, but he goes back down. Lucifer kicks Sam in the stomach. Dean bounces back up, but Lucifer grabs him around the neck and slams him against the bars on the cell. Dean grimaces, as Lucifer lifts him off the ground. Dean is choking. Lucifer looks around at Sam, who is in pain, lying on the floor, covered in blood. LUCIFER: Alright Sam, I’m gonna make this real easy for you. You say the magic word or your brother dies... and we both know you won’t let that happen.

And JUST as Sam is about to have to reckon with that choice? This happens:

In the cell, Castiel charges at Lucifer, allowing Dean to get out of his clutches. Lucifer punches Castiel repeatedly, as Rowena continues on the spell. Castiel falls to the ground and Lucifer stands over him, putting his foot on top of Castiel’s angel blade. Rowena says the incantation: Anan avar karvak! LUCIFER (to Castiel): So, last words...

I'm not a gambling man, but given Sam's doubt in the very next scene and Dean's mortal dilemma, I'm at least 95% sure he was about to say yes. And even if he wasn't, he's still culpable for this plan gone wrong! And if Cas hadn't been there, one of them would very likely be a vessel, or one or both or all three of them would be dead. That's an important context to this whole situation.

Quick note: Crowley feels responsible for this, too, which is why he works to help in season 12.

///

==The "choice" was not clear-cut==

Here's Sam, some minutes later, still second-guessing his choice. (Also, I'm bolding his cute half-salute, because Sam, for once, seems very, very aware of how much Cas just made the difference in them getting out alive):

DEAN [to CAS] (softly): You alright? CAS: I think so. I will be. DEAN: You want me to give you a lift? CAS: No, you two go on ahead. I’ll catch up. DEAN: Okay. Dean walks to the impala. Castiel watches him go, with a half-smile. Sam gives him a half-salute goodbye. Sam and Dean get inside the impala. SAM: Is he alright? DEAN: Tough day. SAM: Yeah. Tell me about it. DEAN: You good? SAM: I don’t know. I mean what if Lucifer was telling the truth, you know, what if he’s the only...

Later, Sam is actually pretty decently supportive letting of Lucifer and Cas try against Amara. It’s “the smart choice.” I’d wager Sam is pragmatically relieved that he gets to give Lucifer a shot, without running his own personal risk.

///

I guess all I'm saying is, it's not so simple as "brave Sammy mouthed off to Lucifer and was a hero that never gave in!" I'm just saying, don't put so much stock in Sam's feisty lil' speech that it blinds you to the actual situation: Sam made a bad gamble.

Dean got caught in a chokehold, and a mentally unstable/psychologically wounded Cas stepped in to shield them both. Thus began a domino effect of bad TFW decisions.

(Aside// Later, Sam says he's respecting Cas's sacrifice, but I'd wager a tiny, pragmatic voice in the back of his head hopes Lucifer will beat the Darkness--that he'll win without Sam having to bear the brunt of the consequences! It's only human to hope for that.)

///

And to be fair to Sam... Post-season 11, he doesn't shrug off this responsibility. When subsequently talking about Lucifer, he labels it a shared responsibility (in order to muster stronger peer support and better in-group mental health). I don't always agree with Sam making things a group sin, but in this case, I think he's right that it's not all Castiel's fault.

It's the fans that want it to be a cookie-cutter, black-and-white, solely Castiel's fault kinda deal, and I think it's just...myopic.

#sam stuff #tfw + fighting for each other #tfw + decisions #tfw + war #sam + leadership #cas + possession #tfw + sacrifice

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biohazard-inevitable · 8 months

Text

New Recruit

Chronologically, this is part 16 Of The Dragon and The Fox Overwatch self insert fanfiction, though this is technically the beginning of season 2 so I will be calling it S2P1 and so forth, but…

Hello~ we’re BACK BABYYYYYYYY!!!!~~~~~ new adventures and new chaos waiting to unfold!!!!! And this is all of course @emile-hides ‘s fault, so you can thank him for the junkenstein revival of this series!!!

Oh also, link to part 1 here

“All-righty cyborgs and gentleman! This is your captain speaking!” Came the chipper, high voice from the cockpit of the shuttle that the two Shimada’s sat in, soft smiles plastered upon their faces as they indulged the whims of their pilot. “We are about to land at the Gibraltar base, the temperature is a lovely 21°C with delightful sunny weather!”

“You ready, Ibotei?” The elder asked, giving his brother’s hand a gentle, affirming squeeze.

“As I’ll ever be meeting government officals…” Zayne laughed nervously, leaning on his brother’s shoulder with a soft sigh as he looked up towards where Lena was staring back at them from the cockpit, having flicked on the autopilot landing.

“You’ll do great!” She affirmed. “I just know it! Captain Morrison really isnt that scary!”

“No kidding! That privledge went to commander Reyes.” Genji snarked. “Morrison is a big softie compared to him. Though I wonder, what exactly did you do to get a criminal record?”

“Oh you’ll both find out once we get inside! Morrison has the list!” Lena chirped innocently as the shuttle finished it’s landing sequence. “There are so many bright new faces for you to meet!”

With a quick flurry of taps along a keypad, the rear ramp of the shuttle hissed open to reveal a man in a deep navy colored uniform with short, well groomed hair as blonde as sunlight and calm, prideful eyes like the rolling waves the deepest ocean.

“Genji!” He greeted with a cheerful smile. “It’s been far too long! Glad to have you back with us, and you’re looking better than ever!”

“It’s good to see you too Jack.” Genji chuckled electronically as he approached the blonde man casually to geet his firm handshake. “It has certainly been a long time since we last met, and hopefully under better circumstances this time.”

“Well you seem perfectly healthy, so not quite a trip to Angela again, and more talkative this time!” The man- Jack- jabbed with a playful elbow nudge to the cyborg’s side before glancing over at the small man still hiding in the shadows of the shuttle’s cargo dock. “And that must be the brother you told us about? The one you’re vouching for?”

“Yes, though I wasn’t aware he had a record.” Genji chuckled softly, nodding his head in a gesture for his brother to join him. “I’m awefully curious of what such a record contains, though I have my suspicions on some things. Nonetheless, he is a good man, I know it. Besides, you were willing to take Cassidy on.”

Slowly, from the shadows Zayne walked, his gaze neevously angled at his feet as he joined his brother’s side, not sure what to make of the man before them.

“Well, Reyes technically took him on, but yes, I’m sure its no problem.” Jack chuckled before extending his hand to the youngest Shimada. “Hello, I’m commander Jack Morrison. Leader of the Overwatch.”

“I’m Zayne Shimada…” He mumbled, cautiously taking the hand offered which was returned with a firm shake. “You aren’t going to arrest me, are you?”

“Honestly? We should, if only for your mild acts of terrorism, but your brother is willing to vouch for you, and I’m willing to look past it so long as you are willing to make some agreements while we have you complete some paperwork but, we’ve had worse cases then yours as members.” Jack responded with a slight chuckle. “But its nice to finally put a face to the name! You’ll fit in just fine here, I’m sure of it.”

“If you say so.” Zayne chuckled awkwardly ad he was released from the handshake and Commander Morrison began to walk off towards the main building with a wave enticing the brothers to follow.

“So when were you gonna tell me you’re technically classified as a terrorist?” Genji jabbed as he skipped along after his brother with a shoulder bump.

“Mmmh, was hoping to wait about as long as you did in telling me you were still alive.” Zayne replied with a sly shrug and a smirk. “Possibly never.”

“Touchè.” Genji replied with an electronic hum. “How did it even happen anyways?”

“Lets just say back when I was working with Hanzo, we got into some… interesting situations and may have made friends with some Australians.”

“Australians???”

“I’m sure they’ll debreif you on my list of crimes once we actually get in there, and those who I committed crimes with.” Zayne sighed as he caught up to the Commander. “Though do know, the buildings I destroyed were corporations who had it coming.”

“The fucking WHAT-“

“Quite the brother you’ve got there Genji!” Lena snickered as she blinked over to catch up with the boys. “This year’s going to be a lively one for sure!”

~~~~~~~~~~

It was weird, walking through the halls of a military outpost freely, not having to sneak around camera blindspots, and strangest of all be escorted around like a guest by the head honcho! Zayne wasn’t sure if he liked it, though it was nice not to have to avoid guards like the plague for once.

Eventually, the group arrived at a small interrogation style office room, which wouldn’t be that strange if it werent for the enormous silverback gorilla sat at the other side of the desk, a pair of glasses sat newtly on his face and a bannana casually in hand. It felt like something almost out of a fever dream, and what happened next baffled the ninja even further.

“Genji!” The gorilla greeted with a toothy smile. “Good to see you again!”

“Ah Winston!” Genji responded cheerily without batting an eye. “Overwatch’s favorite monkey, how have you been?”

“Well- actually, and I hate to interrupt,” Zayne piped up, giving his brother a soft nudge. “Hes not a monkey, hes a Great ape. Very different groupings.”

“Okay nerd.” Genji sassed with a gentle smack to the back of his brother’s head.

“Oh I like this one.” The ape responded with a deep chuckle as he turned his attention over to Zayne before extending a hand to the young Shimada. “I’m Winston, a scientist here at the facility. I’m mostly here to hand you your paperwork and help walk you through it, though I admit I was also curious to meet the new recruit joining us! Oh and, Genji already informed me about your peanut allergy, and just know, I have a tendency to indulge in peanut butter from time to time, it goes very well with bannanas.”

“Well, thanks for the heads up.” Zayne chuckled softly. “Though, I’m still a bit amazed to be talking to well- a talking gorilla! How did that even..?”

“Well, I was born of brilliant minds and raised on the moon by humans! I could go into morefacinating details, but I’m afraid thats a subject for another time as its a terribly long explanation!” Winston laughed softly as he placed some paperwork in front of the young ninja. “Anyways, todays discussion is more about you and where you lay in regards to the team here at Overwatch, which, weclome welcome by the way! Its great to have you!”

“Thank you!” Zayne smiled softly, sitting down at the table. “I’m actually surprised how nice you guys all are! I was really expecting to be arrested almost immediately and locked away forever, at least until I called in some favors and busted out.”

“I’d have liked to see you try!” Winston chuckled. “But, no, no no. We’re quite the understanding group here, I mean, we’d need a bit of any talents we can get if we’re to take on the remnants of the omnic crisis! We cant really afford to be picky even if we wanted to!”

“Allright, well, this is going to be very boring!” Genji announced as he clapped his hands together. “I’m going to have Lena give me the rundown of your crimes if you’re alright being left with Winston?”

There was a subtle concern to his voice hidden amidst the playful tone as he rested his cybernetic hand on his brother’s shoulder, giving a hesitant squeeze to ask if he’d be alright. A squeeze that Zayne returned with a soft smile as he responded.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine, just meet back up with me in whatever place you guys call a mess hall around here?”

“Of course Ibotei, see you soon.”

It took a moment for Genji to remove his hand from his brother’s shoulder, ever the loyal shadow that had guarded the young ninja during his time at the Shambali monastary, now finally having to seperate so his brother could fill out tedious paperwork regarding many, many crimes he had comitted, though in his heart he knew he was in good hands. After all, these were the hands that had caught him when he fell from the Shimada clan entirely.

“Alright, lets begin!” Winston spoke, adjusting his glasses as Genji left the room.

Boy, were they in it for the long haul.

~~~~~~~~~~~

And just for fun, here are the crimes as follows:

Breaking an entering

Multiple speeding violations

Grand larceny

Grand theft auto

International terrorism

Murder-for hire

Conspiracy to commit murder

Vandalism

Arson

Extortion

Acts of non-permitted Demolition

Criminal Anarchy

S2P2 here

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