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#where did she learn about this? a book obviously
polin-ista · 2 days
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Look i know everyone is super upset because Pen is probably not going to tell Colin about LWD straight away (I'm gonna keep this non-spoily as possible) and they feel like that's not true to Pen's character from the books.
But from reading the books I feel like she had 10 years to cultivate this business, to pursue her endeavors and after those 10 years before she even has Colin as an option, she retires of her own volition.
But ShowPen is younger, this Pen hasn't had 10 years of purpose in her LWD endeavors, this Pen is more ambitious. I feel like in this version of Pen she is more bruised by society and therefore more brutal with LWD.
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It's answering the question of what if Pen
1: didn't have 10 years to find fulfillment in LWD and pursue her writing.
2: what if she didn't have Felicity
3: what if she did this all by herself.
In changing those three integral things you've changed not who she is, but how who she is affects her choices.
I personally like this more ambitious version of Pen I find her interesting and flawed and layered and I think Debling's comment of 'how many you's are there and where do you hide them all?' I think that that's very telling for what we're going to see from Penelope in the second half.
Sneaky Pen⬇️
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Playful clever Pen ⬇️
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Resentful Pen⬇️
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Whistledown (gossip) Pen⬇️
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I think we're going to see many different sides of Penelope as a person and it's really all going to come together in the end.
As Colin learns of Penelope so will we as an audience understand her deeper motivations, we will follow Colin as he gets to know these different sides of Pen.
This is a friends to lovers trope and I feel like his perception of Pen has obviously been very one-sided in the first part, not that it's a bad perception but it is very like how Pen was viewing him in season 1 and 2.
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I think with the reveal of LWD he's going to have that perception of her cracked because he's always had her on this pedestal (whether he's realized it or not) of purity and honesty and loyalty and friendship.
I feel like that betrayal from her will allow him to see her as a fully fledged person much like she ended up seeing him in the first part of season 3.
Also headcanon that this conflict somehow leads to Pen revealing herself to the Queen (please you don't know how much i need this 😭😭😭🙏)
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wayward-banana · 21 days
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second play through going well. very serious game
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inkovert · 5 months
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something that really grinds my gears as I venture into other writing/bookish spaces is the fact that people have to apologize when stating their opinions/personal preferences when it comes to what they read or consume for fear of offending The Majority. Like there's this sudden hyper-defensive stance that fans or certain groups of people take about what they love and if someone else god forbid states (on their OWN account or a comment thread mind you, with others who agree with them) that they prefer not to consume those things or they don't love it as much as those people do then these people suddenly feel attacked??
Like. Imagine me obsessing over a show that I've binged a million times and then someone across the globe whispers the words "eh I don't really like that show, it feels overhyped and I don't get why people like it. I prefer this other show to that' and I DIVE ACROSS THE OCEAN to be like 'You're entitled to like that other show, but I don't get why you have to put down my show that I love so much in order to say that. Like that's just very rude of you to even verbalize that opinion in your own space of living and existing that's nowhere near my space of living and existing.'
Like??? People?? Do we not see how mad that is?? THAT'S what's happening in the book community rn and we're treating that like it's normal, I don't know. I get that people can cross a line when stating an opinion or make generalizations about people who consume certain things, but...I don't need someone else's validation to love what I love? If they don't like it or think I'm weird or whatever for liking it that's their problem (and their opinion)??? It doesn't say anything about me or change how I feel about the things I like? And if I'm around people who are bashing what I enjoy and I don't want to see that then maybe just...click away? delete their comment? click unfollow? follow more people who like what you love to drown it out? idk. People are entitled to not like what you love, that's what makes us all beautifully diverse. idk.
#inkoverted thoughts#maybe my first mistake was leaving Tumblr to look at other bookish/writing communities#and this wasn't even TikTok which I refuse to touch with a ten foot pole#but I just watched a YT video of a girl talking about things she hates in Web comics and it was obviously said with goodnatured humor#but she still apologized or had to clarify that like these are just her opinions and she's not bashing people who enjoy these things#and someone in the comments was like I hate that she had to do that bc people can't take a joke or respect others' opinions#and I didn't even clock it when I watched the video but I was like yeah you're right...#and then I go on Insta and I see an author being like#'in a time when spicy romantasy books are being obsessed over...I'm writing “clean” sci-fi slow burn romance#and most people in the comments were like 'yes thank you I appreciate you adding some variety to the bookish community'#or 'there are diverse readers who like all types of genres its only that the romance readers are the loudest and dominating social media'#which is a separate thing that I do think is a valid point#but then a reader from the genre that's being pushed as The Majority came into the chat like#'good for you for writing a sci-fi slow burn - that sounds interesting but you don't have to put down other books when you say that'#and I'm just blinking at the comment like 😃#whooooo? where did OP put down other books???#all they did was say they're going against the grain and writing something less popular amongst the online book community#please learn reading comprehension#and fifth of all - if this upsets you why did you feel the need to click on it and comment like???#go back to your spicy romantasy community and talk to them I don't???? what do you gain from being in this comment thread??#I'm getting frustrated for no reason but it's just so mad to me that people have to walk on eggshells now to share what they like and don't#ON THIER OWN ACCOUNTS#mad#absolutely MAD#there was a separate debate that came up about the fact that people using “clean” to describe non-smut stories implies smut is dirty#which I didn't even think that and I don't even think that's what people meant to imply when using that term#it's the same way you would use the word “clean” to describe something PG vs something rated R or M in my opinion#but that's a whole other thing I'm not gonna get into#if you want a reason to be mad 24/7 then how about getting offline and looking at what's going on in the world? 😀#better use of your anger I can *promise* you
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otogariado · 2 years
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speaking of strawberry shortcake, one of my favs is always going to be the episode where tea blossom and marzipan panda visit and she and strawberry tried so hard to bond and be friends but they both were getting major culture shocked
[proceeds to ramble about strawberry shortcake in the tags]
#lots of good episodes but i really liked the world of friends season bc all these new characters felt cool to meet#and as a kid i was obsessed with like. character names that were obviously themed so it meant even MORE names i got to list#i also rly liked coco calypso and seaberry delight#i was a big mermaid kid so i loved seaberry delight a lot#my fav character was lemon meringue but that was only cz i always had the yellow character as my fav lol#in truth i did like ginger snap and orange blossom a lot but apple dumplin' was my ultimate fav bc She Was Cute#i had the apple dumplin's day book and that was one of my most prized possessions#also makes me happy that i can remember some of the songs still even if i havent seen them in a while#some of my fav episodes where the ep where apple dumplin turns into a grown up and strawberry and the others turn into babies#and the one where they did a cooking show. it was a giant mess and kid me loved the chaos lol#and the one where they did a cinderella adaptation#did you know apparently huck finn's original VA died of a skateboarding accident...i just learned that from visiting wikipedia#when i was a kid i was so confused because in what i assumed to be the pilot episode strawberry meets custard and pupcake for the first tim#but in a different episode they had a completely different origin story about meeting each other#i remember talking to my parents about it being all confused#tiny child me: why is there no CONTINUITY in my STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE TV SHOW#op#strawberry shortcake
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hecksupremechips · 2 years
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The villain of the letter is half a genuinely sweet lady who deserved way better than she got and you just wanna give her cookies. The other half is White Woman Tears: The Character
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suzannahnatters · 1 year
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all RIGHT:
Why You're Writing Medieval (and Medieval-Coded) Women Wrong: A RANT
(Or, For the Love of God, People, Stop Pretending Victorian Style Gender Roles Applied to All of History)
This is a problem I see alllll over the place - I'll be reading a medieval-coded book and the women will be told they aren't allowed to fight or learn or work, that they are only supposed to get married, keep house and have babies, &c &c.
If I point this out ppl will be like "yes but there was misogyny back then! women were treated terribly!" and OK. Stop right there.
By & large, what we as a culture think of as misogyny & patriarchy is the expression prevalent in Victorian times - not medieval. (And NO, this is not me blaming Victorians for their theme park version of "medieval history". This is me blaming 21st century people for being ignorant & refusing to do their homework).
Yes, there was misogyny in medieval times, but 1) in many ways it was actually markedly less severe than Victorian misogyny, tyvm - and 2) it was of a quite different type. (Disclaimer: I am speaking specifically of Frankish, Western European medieval women rather than those in other parts of the world. This applies to a lesser extent in Byzantium and I am still learning about women in the medieval Islamic world.)
So, here are the 2 vital things to remember about women when writing medieval or medieval-coded societies
FIRST. Where in Victorian times the primary axes of prejudice were gender and race - so that a male labourer had more rights than a female of the higher classes, and a middle class white man would be treated with more respect than an African or Indian dignitary - In medieval times, the primary axis of prejudice was, overwhelmingly, class. Thus, Frankish crusader knights arguably felt more solidarity with their Muslim opponents of knightly status, than they did their own peasants. Faith and age were also medieval axes of prejudice - children and young people were exploited ruthlessly, sent into war or marriage at 15 (boys) or 12 (girls). Gender was less important.
What this meant was that a medieval woman could expect - indeed demand - to be treated more or less the same way the men of her class were. Where no ancient legal obstacle existed, such as Salic law, a king's daughter could and did expect to rule, even after marriage.
Women of the knightly class could & did arm & fight - something that required a MASSIVE outlay of money, which was obviously at their discretion & disposal. See: Sichelgaita, Isabel de Conches, the unnamed women fighting in armour as knights during the Third Crusade, as recorded by Muslim chroniclers.
Tolkien's Eowyn is a great example of this medieval attitude to class trumping race: complaining that she's being told not to fight, she stresses her class: "I am of the house of Eorl & not a serving woman". She claims her rights, not as a woman, but as a member of the warrior class and the ruling family. Similarly in Renaissance Venice a doge protested the practice which saw 80% of noble women locked into convents for life: if these had been men they would have been "born to command & govern the world". Their class ought to have exempted them from discrimination on the basis of sex.
So, tip #1 for writing medieval women: remember that their class always outweighed their gender. They might be subordinate to the men within their own class, but not to those below.
SECOND. Whereas Victorians saw women's highest calling as marriage & children - the "angel in the house" ennobling & improving their men on a spiritual but rarely practical level - Medievals by contrast prized virginity/celibacy above marriage, seeing it as a way for women to transcend their sex. Often as nuns, saints, mystics; sometimes as warriors, queens, & ladies; always as businesswomen & merchants, women could & did forge their own paths in life
When Elizabeth I claimed to have "the heart & stomach of a king" & adopted the persona of the virgin queen, this was the norm she appealed to. Women could do things; they just had to prove they were Not Like Other Girls. By Elizabeth's time things were already changing: it was the Reformation that switched the ideal to marriage, & the Enlightenment that divorced femininity from reason, aggression & public life.
For more on this topic, read Katherine Hager's article "Endowed With Manly Courage: Medieval Perceptions of Women in Combat" on women who transcended gender to occupy a liminal space as warrior/virgin/saint.
So, tip #2: remember that for medieval women, wife and mother wasn't the ideal, virgin saint was the ideal. By proving yourself "not like other girls" you could gain significant autonomy & freedom.
Finally a bonus tip: if writing about medieval women, be sure to read writing on women's issues from the time so as to understand the terms in which these women spoke about & defended their ambitions. Start with Christine de Pisan.
I learned all this doing the reading for WATCHERS OF OUTREMER, my series of historical fantasy novels set in the medieval crusader states, which were dominated by strong medieval women! Book 5, THE HOUSE OF MOURNING (forthcoming 2023) will focus, to a greater extent than any other novel I've ever yet read or written, on the experience of women during the crusades - as warriors, captives, and political leaders. I can't wait to share it with you all!
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ellecdc · 11 days
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mother!!!! that recent poly!marauders + lily fic had me WEAK. if you please, could you write a part two where shy!reader finds out remus is a werewolf? I could see rem really not wanting her to find out bc he doesn’t want to scare her, but maybe severus(or somebody) spills the beans thinking she already knew, or she overheard a conversation between the boys. she’d be accepting of course, but remus freaks out when she finds out. just a lot of comfort and reassurance.
hope that gives you some inspiration, also, totally don’t have to write it if you don’t want to, of course!!! ilysm 🖤💚
I took this in a bit of a different direction but the ending's just the same! thanks so much sweets <3 <3
4.6k words
poly!marauders + lily x shy!reader who learns about Remus' furry little problem
CW: miscommunication trope, insecurities, angst [with a happy ending], reader is feeling incredibly insecure in this fic, James cries, Sirius cries a little bit too but they all pretend not to notice for his sake
You felt terribly foolish; no, you felt worse. You felt absolutely humiliated and you had no one to blame but yourself.
And now that you were here - ‘here’ being rushing to the dungeons to lock yourself in the Hufflepuff dormitories for the next foreseeable future - you aren’t sure how you had convinced yourself that this was going to end any other way. 
It was a pipedream at best, thinking you had any place amongst the infamous Marauders and the princess of Gryffindor, and it was delusional at worst. 
Of course they’d grow weary of you, of course they’d find your nerves and anxiety tiresome, of course they’d wind up bored of accommodating you when they were all so much more than you. 
What had you been thinking? How did you manage to allow yourself to believe that this was anything but a phase for them - they saw you as a challenge, they beat the challenge, and now they were through with you. 
You thought that the sweet looks, the kisses, the affection, the effort all meant more than it obviously did.
At least to them.
To you, it meant the world.
To them, it was a chore.
You were a chore.
Foolish girl. 
You had been on your way to the library to meet up with the boys and Lily to study for the upcoming Herbology test. It was the first real group ‘date’ after the sketchiness that usually followed Remus about once a month that no one else seemed inclined to comment on, so neither did you.
Except…except, this time, some lingering tension seemed to follow the bout of sketchiness. 
And still, no one seemed particularly inclined to comment on it.
And you couldn’t help but feel like you were out of the loop somehow, but you chalked that up to being a newer addition to the dynamic, and not living with them in Gryffindor tower.
That is until you happened to be walking out of their view behind the stacks of books that their table was situated by when you overheard their conversation. 
“You’re going to have to say something to her, Rem. This is getting out of hand.” You heard Lily say solemnly, earning her a pained groan from Remus’ lips, causing you to pause behind the stacks so as to not interrupt their conversation.
“Can’t we just ignore this? Just for a little longer?” Remus bargained. “I mean, it can’t be that bad?”
“It’s worse, Moons.” Sirius corrected. 
“Y/N’s so sensitive though.” James added. “I mean, how would that conversation even go? How do you tell her something like that?”
“It has to come from Remus.” Lily stated matter-of-factly. 
Remus let out a long-suffering sigh. “And how do you suggest I go about this?”
“Listen.” Sirius asserted. “I don’t bloody care how we tell her, but we have to say something. I cannot keep living like this; it’s exhausting.”
Lily made a tsking sound and placed a consoling hand on Sirius’ shoulder as Remus let out another sigh.
“I know, I know; I’m sorry you guys. I thought we could ignore it but…I don’t think we can anymore.”
Lily, Sirius, and James all made a hum of acknowledgement.
“I think we ought to just rip the bandaid off and hope she understands.” Lily said.
You felt your stomach migrate to your throat as you turned on your heels and fled the library.
Is that what all the tension was about? Is that what this library study date was? Just a ruse to sit you down so they could break up with you?
Of course it was, idiot. You scolded yourself.  They were foolish to entertain the likes of you for any amount of time. 
So now you were here - ‘here’ being rushing to the dungeons to lock yourself in the Hufflepuff dormitories for the next foreseeable future - and you aren’t sure how you had convinced yourself that this was going to end any other way. 
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“Do you think I should do it tonight?” Remus asked Lily as she finally sat down. 
“I think it would be best if we did, sweetheart. I just can’t help feeling like we’re keeping her at arms length by keeping it a secret, you know?”
“I agree.” Sirius said quickly. “It feels like she’s more of a guest than actually part of the relationship whilst we’re keeping something so big from her.” 
“I just don’t want her to hate me.” Remus admitted in a whisper.
“Remmy.” James cooed from the other side of Sirius. “Our sweet little Puffle seems completely incapable of hatred. But you know we’ve got your back 110% if she’s not accepting of you, right?”
The other two nodded in agreement but Remus only grimaced. “It just feels like I’d be ruining the relationship for all of you if the only person she has a problem with is me.” 
“Impossible.” Sirius replied emphatically. “Anyone who has a problem with you has a problem with us, Moons.”
“Even if we weren’t dating, Rem, if someone didn’t respect my friend - or anyone, for that matter - because of their lycanthropy, I wouldn’t want them around anyways.” Lily agreed.
“I don’t think we’ll have a problem, though.” Sirius continued. “Like Prongs said, she’s our sweet girl; I’m sure she’ll handle this fine.”
“Where is she, anyway?” James said, flipping his wrist to check his watch. “She was supposed to meet us like twenty minutes ago.” 
The other three shared a look of bemusement. 
“Do you have the map?” Sirius asked.
James quickly pulled the map from his book bag to scan the parchment for your name. “It says she’s in the Hufflepuff common room?”
“Maybe she forgot?” Lily mused.
“I spoke to her at dinner; she said she was going to change out of her uniform and then meet us here.” Remus replied, feeling his heart rise to his throat with nerves. 
What if she knew? What if she already found out? What if she hated him? 
“Rem, it’s alright.” Lily placated, clearly seeing his concern etched onto his face. “Maybe she wasn’t feeling well, or got caught up with something else.”
“She’s never bailed on us before…” James admitted, looking just as worried as Remus was. “Maybe we should check on her?”
“Why don’t we give her tonight; I think after all the shite we put her through this week, she’s allotted one missed date.” Sirius decided, opting to keep his tone light as he teased Remus for his ‘pre-moon angstiness’ as his partners call it.   
“We’ll catch up with her tomorrow.” Lily decided; and Remus and James shared a look of concern as they relented to study for the upcoming Herbology test without you. 
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You weren’t really mad at the Gryffindor’s for their decision to end things with you; at least not at first.
People were allowed to change their minds, and you supposed that was the purpose of dating, right? To see if the person you’re interested in is someone you want to keep around indefinitely?
So, people were allowed to change their mind, and that was okay.
You also couldn’t particularly blame them; you were shy, quiet, timid, awkward in most social settings and certainly not as adventurous as them, it was only a matter of time before they grew bored of you. 
So you hadn’t been mad at them, not at first. 
But you were growing increasingly annoyed at their attempts to force themselves within your space. 
You had opted to sit at the Hufflepuff table for breakfast the next morning; there was no sense sitting at the Gryffindor table with them anymore.
But then you couldn’t handle the feeling of your heart splintering every time you heard Sirius’ bark of laughter or Lily’s giggle at something Remus said or that James did. So you quickly scarfed down your toast and grabbed a muffin to shove in your bag before fleeing from the Great Hall.
What you didn’t notice was James noticing you only as you were leaving, looking incredibly worried.
You nearly shrieked when you exited your Astronomy class that you had with the Ravenclaws and slammed into Sirius’ frame.
“There you are, dolly! We missed you this morning!” He proclaimed as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. 
You quickly collected yourself; heart racing from the scare and then quickly migrating to your throat out of embarrassment and hurt at this familiarity you had with him only to be about to lose it.
“Sorry, I had been running late.” You said quickly as you headed for the stairs; the long-haired boy quickly keeping up with your steps. 
“Were you feeling alright?” He asked you.
“How do you mean?”
Sirius tilted his head slightly as he considered you. “Well, you didn’t show up to the library last night, and then you were running late this morning; that’s not like you.”
A hot frustrated emotion burned in your chest that you weren’t completely accustomed to feeling. 
Wasn’t he the one to say he couldn’t live like this anymore?
It wasn’t fair of you to be frustrated though, which frustrated you even more; he didn’t know that you had shown up to the library last night, nor that you had gotten to the Great Hall on time.
They hadn’t even noticed you this morning. 
And that’s why they were ending things; you were forgettable, ignorable, unnoticeable. 
“I’m fine, Sirius. Thank you.” You said simply, and quickly headed for the girl’s loo in order to shake him off. 
Remus had approached you in Care of Magical Creatures as well, which somehow hurt more.
Perhaps it was because you knew he was going to be the one to tell you that things were over; though you had thought he’d be better than to break up with you in the middle of class. 
“Hey, dove.” He said as he gently nudged your arm with his elbow; watching as you groomed the puffskein on your table. 
“Hey, Remus.” You said quietly, not removing your eyes from the Beast you were working with.
“I missed you last night.” He admitted quietly. 
Did you? You thought petulantly. 
“Sorry.” You murmured instead. 
“You don’t have to be sorry.” He said as he leaned his elbows on your workbench; if it had been any other student, you’re certain Professor O’Brien would have scolded him for not handling the beasts with adequate caution, but Remus seemed to be allowed certain privileges and the puffskein “Kujo” didn’t seem to mind him much. “I just missed you is all.” 
And he was smiling that sweet, soft smile at you and he seemed like he actually meant it which only further contributed to your ire. 
What happened to ripping the bandaid off? Why keep up this affectionate act if it was only going to end?
Remus looked like he was going to say something when the Professor announced the end of class. 
“I’ll catch up with you later.” You offered quickly before you all but threw Kujo back into his pen and took off towards the castle.
The final straw had to be Herbology, though.
You shared Herbology with the Gryffindors, and because you were a new addition - your [the] four Gryffindor’s all shared a potting bench whilst you worked alongside another Hufflepuff.
Today, however, it appeared that James had other plans.
Before Sadie-Jane could take her seat beside you, James had plopped himself - rather carefully for the notoriously boisterous quidditch chaser, mind you - on the stool beside you.
“Hey, angel.”
Again, with the pet names. 
It felt torturous at this point; part of you wanted to rip the bandaid off yourself.
But you looked over at the sweet, warm, inviting face of James Potter and any resolve to tell him to shove it completely dissipated. He was all messy curls, round frames, and warm eyes.
And you might have been [must have been] mistaken, but you felt you could see anxiety and worry painted in his features.
You supposed breaking up with someone could do that to a person, though.
“Hi Jamie.” You whispered back as you opted to ready your supplies for today’s lesson.
“I was wondering if you were going to come to the game tonight?” He blurted then, looking slightly embarrassed at his outburst. 
Right…the game. The game against Slytherin. The game that would have you sitting between Remus and Lily as they cheered for James and Sirius. That game. 
“I...uhm, well…”
Rip the bandaid off. 
But it was James. 
And you were in class.
And you could see Lily and Remus trying - and failing - to not look like they were watching you and James whilst Sirius had no such qualms and was actively staring at the two of you. 
“Yeah, I’ll…I’ll see.” You offered James, mustering up what you hoped was a convincing enough smile.
You could tell by the divot that appeared in James’ brows that you were not convincing in the slightest.
Thankfully Professor Sprout appeared then, instructing everyone to take their seats for class to begin, and Sadie-Jane came to claim her seat from the Gryffindor. 
You didn’t go to the game that night.
Gryffindor lost. 
And though you didn’t know at the time, James cried, but it wasn’t about losing to Slytherin. 
“So, why are you hiding in the dorms?” Caroline asked as she rolled away from her open magazine on her bed, clearly preferring potential drama you could offer her than whatever was in this week's Witch Weekly. 
“I’m not hiding.” You muttered back, not looking up from your cross-stitch you were working on instead of, you know, dealing with your problems. 
“Right.” Caroline agreed, not sounding like she agreed with you at all. “That’s why you’ve started and quit several hobbies over the weekend and have been going to the kitchen’s to grab food instead of eating in the Great Hall like a normal person.”
You looked over at your half finished gem ‘paint-by-numbers’, the scarf you’d crocheted that looked more like the skin of a messed up snake that had a terrible time shedding, and the guitar you had borrowed from Fenwick and nearly broke in a fit of rage when you couldn’t get it to sound the way you wanted it too.
“I just…can’t face them right now.” You admitted dejectedly.
“I don’t blame you. Helga, have you seen the lot of them? If I’d known they were accepting more I would have made my shot.” She mused as she laid back on her bed.
Grief and jealousy intertwined within you as you thought about them dating anyone else but you.
But you supposed that was their prerogative; they were allowed to change their minds. 
“Yeah well, you may still have a chance.” You muttered, capturing Caroline’s attention.
“What?” She asked quickly, but you didn’t have a chance to answer before there was a knock on the door. 
“Were you expecting anyone?” She asked with a salacious wink, causing you to glare at her.
“If it’s them, I’m not here; please.” You practically begged your roommate as she rolled her eyes and moved to the door to your dorm room. 
“Oh, hello Evans.” Caroline greeted, causing you to scrunch your eyes closed from your place currently hidden from view of the door. 
“Hi! Erm, is Y/N around?” Lily asked, sounding uncharacteristically awkward.
“Uh…no, she’s not in right now. I can let her know you stopped by, though?” Caroline offered.
You heard Lily thank her before Caroline closed the door again. 
“You sure you don’t want them? ‘Cause those Gryffindor’s are fine.” She sighed as she returned to her bed.
She let out a squawk when your pillow made contact with her head. 
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Lily stepped out through the barrel to find Sirius and Remus exactly where she had left them (albeit far more tense) as James came running from down the hall where he had been pacing nervously. 
“Well?” James asked.
Lily pursed her lips. “Her roommate said she wasn’t there.”
Remus looked down at the map to the place where your name was etched beside your roommate’s in the seventh year Hufflepuff girls’ dormitory. 
Either the map was faulty [fat chance], or you were avoiding them.
It was official. 
For whatever reason, they were losing you. 
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You had somehow managed to avoid the Gryffindor’s all Monday; taking a moment to thank every deity that you only had Divination with the Gryffindor house, and none of your Gryffindor’s had opted to take it.
You wondered if you could call them your Gryffindor’s anymore…
You had run over to the kitchens - all but a hop skip and a jump from your common room - to grab dinner and were stepping back out through the portrait of the pears when you came face to face with Sirius.
“So nice to see you, Y/N; I’d almost forgotten what your face looked like.” He said; his tone taking on a harsh tone you weren’t accustomed to hearing directed at you causing you to wince.
“Pads…” Remus warned from behind him, though he was looking at you just as warily as Sirius was.
As was James and Lily.
Shit. 
“I’m glad to see you’re still eating…” Remus commented dejectedly as he nodded towards your smorgasbord of a plate that Winky had helped prepare for you that now looked horribly unappetising. 
“I…yes. Erm, what are you guys doing here?” You tried.
It had, apparently, been the wrong thing to say.
Sirius let out a derisive scoff. “Cut the bullshit, Y/N. What the hell has gotten into you?”
“Sirius.” Lily warned.
“Would you guys stop?” He barked back at them before returning his burning gaze back to you. “I’m tired of this; of running around the school looking for you, of being disappointed every time you bail on us, of having to hold James whilst he cries because you’ve let him down, of being lied to. So I’m going to ask again - what the hell has gotten into you?”
“Nothing has gotten into me…” You tried to argue, though it sounded feeble even to your own ears. 
James had cried? You made James cry…
The disappointment in Remus’ eyes, the concern in Lily’s, the anger in Sirius’, the sadness in James’... it was too much, too much, too much. 
“You’re going to stand there and lie to my sodding face?” Sirius asked incredulously.
“Sirius, stop it.” James ordered; his voice far more severe than you have ever heard from him. “Angel, please. Just…just tell us what’s wrong. Tell me what I can do to fix this.”
Any sadness that had settled in your chest bubbled into anger at his word choice.
“Fix this?” You repeated back to him. “Why? Why bother fixing anything if you’re all just going to leave me!?” 
The four Gryffindor’s stood staring at you with different levels of bemusement; Lily and Sirius at your words, Remus and James at you having raised your voice for the first time…well…ever. 
“What do you mean ‘leave you’?” Lily asked cautiously, causing you to scoff. 
“I heard you guys - in the library.”
“In the library? But…you never showed?” James asked.
“Yes, I did - and I heard you guys talking about me, so I decided to stay out of your way thinking that maybe I’d make it easier on you all. But then you’ve spent the past week absolutely torturing me; showing up at my classes, trying to sit beside me, showing up to my dorm room like you weren’t just biding your time.”
“Y/N, what exactly did you hear us say in the library?” Remus queried.
“That you couldn’t do this anymore! That someone ‘had to tell me’ because it was ‘getting out of hand’. That you couldn’t possibly live like this anymore and hopefully I’d just understand. And I do! I do understand; but what I don’t understand is what the point of chasing me around the bloody castle is if you-”
“Whoa, whoa. Okay, alright just breathe, darling, I’m sorry.” Lily attempted to placate, holding her hands up as she approached like you were some kind of feral cat.
You sort of acted like one when you swatted her hands away from you.
“No! No, it’s not fair! I’m sorry if I’m too much, or if I’m not enough; I get it, okay? I do; sometimes it doesn’t work out and that’s fair but if that’s how you feel then just leave me alone!” You shouted back, feeling the tears trailing down your neck at this point. 
“Y/N, please, listen okay? Just relax and we can talk this out.” Lily tried again as James let out a pained breath that sounded awfully close to a sob. 
“Remus, please.” He begged, turning his pooling hazel eyes to his scarred boyfriend who was looking at you in abject horror. “Please.”
“Y/N, you’ve misunderstood, dove. I-I’m sorry, It’s my fault, but what you heard…that wasn’t us talking about breaking up with you. I… It was about me.”
You wiped angrily at your face and set your now cold plate on the ground - you weren’t hungry anymore anyways. “It’s not you, it’s me?” You sneered half-heartedly.
“No, no…Merlin, Y/N I- I’m a werewolf. Okay? I have lycanthropy, I was bitten when I was four; that’s where I go once a month and why I get…weird. We were talking about the fact that I needed to tell you because it was hurting us to keep it from you. Dovey, I’m so sorry you’ve been so upset. Please, please take a breath for me.” 
You held your hands over your eyes as you tried to control your breathing.
Sketchiness…tension…disappearances… 
“You’re going to have to say something to her, Rem; this is getting out of hand”
“Can’t we just ignore this? Just for a little longer? I mean, it can’t be that bad?”
“Y/N’s so sensitive though… How do you tell her something like that?”
“It has to come from Remus.” 
“I don’t bloody care how we tell her, but we have to say something; I cannot keep living like this, it’s exhausting.”
“I’m sorry you guys. I thought we could ignore it but…I don’t think we can anymore.”
“I think we ought to just rip the bandaid off and hope she understands.”
“I’m a werewolf. I have lycanthropy…that’s where I go once a month.” 
“Please…baby, please say something. I-I’m so sorry.” You heard Sirius plead quietly; his shaky voice in stark contrast from the way he’d been barking at you just moments before. 
You pulled your wet hands away from your eyes to see all four of them looking at you with nothing but worry and heartache on their faces; though none looked quite as vulnerable as Remus did. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He whispered.
You sucked in a shuddering breath as more tears fell. “So…you don’t hate me?”
Remus let out a disbelieving laugh when you heard what sounded suspiciously like a sob from James.
“No! No, no dove, that- I’m rather quite in love with you, you know?” He pressed, daring to step closer to you. “Do you hate me?” He asked then, tone turning vulnerable once more.
“No.” You whined emphatically. 
“Oh my poor girl.” Sirius whined sympathetically. 
“Can I hug you? Please?” James all but begged, stepping in front of you with his arms open already; poised for you to say…
“Yes.”
You’re not sure he even waited for the affirmation to leave your lips before he had you encased in his arms.
You shoved your face into his chest and fisted his shirt in your hands; pulling him as close as you possibly could to your person. 
You weren’t sure how long you’d been standing there - directly in front of the kitchens and awfully close to your own common room - sniffling into James’ shirt as he sniffled into your hair, but you heard a sniffle come from beside you.
You turned to see Sirius’ grey eyes shiny and red as he looked at you imploringly. 
“I’m so sorry I yelled at you, sweetness. I’m such an arse I just…I-”
“It’s okay.” You whispered.
“No it’s not.” Sirius argued immediately. “I…I get like that sometimes; just horribly defensive and then I go on the offensive first. I didn’t even give you a chance to talk to us before I was attacking you; I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Siri.” You offered again, holding a hand out to him which he took readily. 
“I can’t believe you’ve spent this whole week believing we wanted nothing to do with you.” Lily whined from your other side. “I’m so sorry we left you feeling like that, darling girl.”
Though you were quite content in your muscled hideaway, you pulled away from James’ chest to wipe at your face again, feeling awfully self-conscious of how blotchy your face must look from your tears.
“I shouldn’t have assumed.” You admitted shamefully; voice scratchy from both the shouting and the crying.
“The way you described it, I can understand how our conversation sounded to you, babygirl.” Sirius contended. 
“So…you’re really not leaving me?” You asked again.
“I feel like I should be asking you that, dove.” Remus replied.
“Why would I be leaving you?”
Lily shared a knowing look with Sirius and James who in turn moved their gazes to Remus with expressions reading “see?”. 
“Not everyone would be accepting of a werewolf.”
You felt your eyebrows furrow as you looked at the others as if saying “are you hearing this right now?” 
“But…I love you? I…I don’t even know what else to say…I just… love you so, that’s fine.”
“I just love you so that’s fine.” Sirius repeated as he looked at Remus arrogantly. “I knew I should have placed a bet on how she’d respond; I’d have made five galleons!”
“We were not going to bet on how our girlfriend would respond to Remus’ furry little problem, Sirius.” Lily chided as she playfully swatted at his shoulder. 
“Besides,” James added, pulling you closer into his side again. “You would have lost because I don’t think any of us would have bet that she’d misinterpret our disastrous conversation as us trying to leave her and then spend the week believing we were waiting for the perfect time to break up with her only for us all to shout and cry when we realised what happened.”
“No, that's true.” Sirius agreed readily, looking back at you with sympathy. “I really am sorry, baby.”
“Me too.” Lily continued.
“Me most of all.” Remus added.
“I knew we should have gone looking for her that night.” James mused aloud mostly to himself. “Could have saved us all a lot of heartache.” 
“Yeah, yeah Prongs. You’re right again; I’m sure we’ll never live it down.” Sirius said with a playful eye roll. 
“How can we make it up to you?” Lily asked as she placed her hand at the juncture of your neck and shoulder and traced shapes along the column of your neck with her thumb.
You shook your head shyly and looked at your feet. “It’s not necessary guys.”
“Nonsense.” Sirius scoffed.
“Let’s start with some dinner, yeah? And maybe a cwtch in the boys’ dorm upstairs?” Remus offered to the group, though he seemed to be waiting for you to answer.
You nodded at him and he opened his arms in invitation which you accepted readily.
“I’m sorry, dovey.” He whispered into your hair.
“I’m sorry too, Rem.”
“Let’s never fight again.” James decided enthusiastically as Lily and Sirius stepped through the pear portrait into the kitchens.
“Sounds good to me, bubs.” Remus agreed as he bent down to press a kiss to James’ lips whilst keeping you secured to his side.
You were sure that after this week, these four wouldn’t be letting you out of their reach.
After this week, you weren’t sure you minded that at all.
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sinterblackwell · 2 years
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i would like to send a sincere apology to karla nikole because after my re-read of her second book in the lore & lust series, it has come to my attention that it is actually pretty brilliant….which wasn’t exactly my full opinion the first time around :’)
#❣️#it was the cellina & giovanni subplot#when i first read the book i remember feeling very disheartened at the idea of reading from cellina’s pov bc i just didn’t care too much#i was more invested in everything else that was going on rather than seeing cellina & giovannie reconcile#and maybe that had to do with the fact that i was jumping straight into the second book after falling in love with haru & nino#so maybe i was more invested in hearing from them (especially after what eventually happens to nino)#but like rereading this book months later i actually really appreciate what the author did?? and it baffles me because#while i did yet again skim over all those flashback scenes of cellina & giovanni— the present day scenes did hold a lot of significance#i mentioned in my initial review how objectively cellina’s pov made sense and it answered a lot of questions#to the tension that was obvious between giovanni & nino as siblings and the complicated relationship there between them both & cellina#it was interesting getting to learn more about giovanni and the secrets he held and it felt important to see him express relief when#other characters help chip in to carry that weight of all those secrets and sole responsibilities off of him#but i just didn’t…care the first time around#reading this book again—i fell in love with how the author wrote cellina’s pov#i loved learning about cellina’s career in the art world and how she & giovanni so obviously balanced each other out when it came to busines#it was pretty fascinating tbh so…i really am sorry that i couldn’t see it the first time around#this wasn’t a case of ‘second book syndrome’ where inevitably the sequel to a series typically falls flat#i was just being ignorant#so rather than being like a ‘some criticisms aside i did still really enjoy this 4.5’#my rating for ‘the vanishing’ is a strong ‘i completely praise the author for all that she put into this second book and i loved it 4.5’ <3#lore & lust chronicles#booklr
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txt-trash · 10 months
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clever girl | choi soobin
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summary: you’ve only ever viewed choi soobin as your rival in school. he was cute and sweet at times but for the most part he usually acted cold toward you—or at least tried to. out of nowhere you hear about his grades dropping and in an effort to save your only motivation to push yourself harder, you accept his persistent offer to tutor him. you quickly learn he had an ulterior motive to always get you to spend time with him and despite how mean you think you might be, Soobin loved it.
➣ college au, smüt, fluff, enemies to lovers [but it’s one-sided]
➣ academic rival!soobin x f!reader [she/her, afab]
➣ 13.8k words
warnings: smut. oc is kinda mean to soobin. soft jealousy scenes. soobin asks oc to tutor him. really clingy. super cute. the smut is… nashty lowkey. heavy on foreplay. oral [both receiving]. handjöb. oc sits on his face. virgin soobin/experienced oc. oc gets jealous at times too. oc is kinda possessive. sub/dom themes but I swear soobin is a switch. breastplay. missionary. no condom. a lot of plot. multiple orgasm. soobin got that cream im sorry. soobin is a known perv. oc got big boobs. soobin is very obviously a boob guy. oc is lowkey dom, aftercare bc soobin cries. oc calls him a perv, dirty talk. soobin is best boy but also brattiest boy.
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You never considered yourself a particularly smart person. You weren’t gifted — as teachers would say — but you weren’t dumb either. You rode the fine line of somewhere in between but you also studied your ass off to get good grades so you could get a scholarship to the college of your dreams. It’s for that reason specifically that Choi Soobin drives you absolutely insane.
You’ve known him for two years but not close enough to consider him a friend. If anything you consider him the opposite of a friend. For the past two years he’s been your number one contender in class. He’s really smart, like book smart but lately he’s been plummeting his grades and that only seems to piss you off more. He’s the reason why you would push yourself so hard to be number one but now that he’s barely trying it’s not as fun. You’re a competitive person.
So, when he approached you today asking you if you could please tutor him you seriously stopped to think about it. If you tutored him then you could possibly have your competition back but tutoring him would also mean having to help him and he did not need your help. You knew he was smart enough to learn things on his own and he’s just in some sort of stump.
“Why don’t you hire one of those expensive tutors I know you can afford?” You asked him after pondering on it for damn near two minutes. You stood just outside the library where he had practically ambushed you before you could make it inside the building.
Soobin was one of those rich guys you weren’t so fond of. He had money, he didn’t have to work hard to get good grades and he could afford to go to any school he wants to while you have to work double as hard to do anything. Or course it’s not his fault but for him to ask you to tutor him when you know for a fact he doesn’t need you to just really bothers you.
He looked a bit lost by what you said, looking a bit bored like you’re the one holding him up instead of the other way around, “I don’t know, I figured you could help me out since we’re in the same major.”
You huffed out in annoyance, “Am I going to get paid?”
His eyes widened just slightly but you couldn’t if he was in surprise or in disbelief, “I guess, however much you want, I need the help.”
A small sigh left your lips as you rolled your eyes, “No you don’t, but whatever, if you pay me, I’ll think about it.”
“Can I get your number then?” Soobin asked, already taking his phone out. You didn’t say anything as you typed in your number and before he could say anything else, you left for the library.
He watched you leave without a smile on his face, keeping up his unamused act until you turned your back to him and his lips couldn’t help but curl up in a smile. Soobin knows it’s a bit weird for him to ask you to tutor him. You’re just one year younger than him but you take most of the same classes so he figured you were his best option.
And also… maybe he dropped his grades on purpose to have an excuse to talk to you but that’s something he’ll never admit to your face.
It all started two years ago. He had already been in school for a year or so and he was just soaring by. You were right when you said he could just hire some expensive tutor to help him but he never really needed it. He was book smart even though sometimes he lacked common sense in the real world. Growing up he had it all, tutors, piano lessons, private schooling, et cetera. He was a smart kid all the way until his third year of University.
Well… he’s still smart but things are different now. He’s spent the last two years practically racing you in classes you shared to do better like that would impress you but it didn’t work. Then, he tried being cold to you like you were to him but he could never do it right. It only seemed to push you away and after a while he realized the only reason why he did it was because he wanted to get a rise out of you. You just won’t notice him no matter how hard he tries to get you to and if this is the only way he’ll get you to talk to him more then he’s going to do it.
“So, did it work?” Kai asked, walking up behind Soobin and scaring the life out of him. Soobin released a loud yell that heads turning in his direction but he barely notice as he whipped around to face his friend, “Did what work?”
“Your little scheme to get Y/n to talk to you,” Kai said as he walked toward the library with Soobin on his tail, “What scheme?”
Kai stopped and gave him that look that told Soobin the gig was up, “You’ve been working on this for weeks now, you think I wouldn’t notice? You used to tutor me and now you’re saying you need to get tutored by the one person who seems to want nothing to do with you?”
Soobin cut in front of him to reach the door first as he swung it open, “No clue what you’re talking about. I’ve been struggling in class lately, probably stress over the internship this summer.”
“Right…” Kai rolled his eyes following his friend into the library, “Or the stress of getting ignored by Y/n no matter how hard you try. It’s been two years, pack it up already.”
“How do you know Y/n ignores me?” He asked getting into the elevator with his friend to get to the next level where more computers and desks were. Kai shrugs, “I mean it’s pretty obvious.”
It took days for you to get back to him and he waited anxiously to see what you would say. He didn’t want to blow up your phone because he had a cold image to uphold but every time his phone dinged he checked if it was you. By the third day he had almost given up hope until the simple text you sent nearly made him burst into a million fireworks.
you: meet me outside the library tomorrow
He got there earlier than intended but he acted like he didn’t. He had done at least two laps around the tall building just waiting for you to arrive and when you did, you said nothing to him. You only walked into the building and headed straight to the elevators like he wasn’t even there.
“It’s raining.”
Jesus Christ.
So stupid, Soobin thought as he turned away from you. This is what happens when he tries to make small talk with someone who sort of hates him. He still doesn’t get why you don’t like him much but he assumes it has something to do with your grades. You’re both art majors and have to take similar prerequisites so you see each other a lot. You’re both also at the top of the department and practically battling for the same summer internship so he thought taking a step back might’ve made you happier but it seemed to have the opposite effect.
You looked at him for a second and when he wondered if you would say something you just looked back down at your phone like he wasn’t even there. This elevator ride felt like it would never end. He knows it’s only been a few seconds but it feels so suffocating.
“Did you change up your hair? It looks good,” he said cautiously and you finally looked at him again. He didn’t expect a thank you or anything but maybe a smile.
All he got was; “Why are you talking to me?”
“It was like this last time we talked,” you finally said and looked forward again.
The elevator dinged and he released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in until he was off. The two of you walked down the hall with you a couple paces ahead of him in complete silence.
Suddenly you turned around to face him as he stumbled back a step in surprise when you said, “I like the black hair, it’s different from the blonde.”
He absentmindedly touched his hair as a smile grew on his face, “Thank you.”
Your brows furrowed, surprised that he was even smiling at you. Usually he acts just as cold to you as you do to him and that’s why you barely acknowledge him nowadays. You knew he wasn’t a bad guy but he always had a smug face when he came out on top in class and it drove you insane. He would even laugh sometimes when you would stumble over your words during a presentation and make fun of you, not even caring if you heard or not.
Of course you didn’t know he was giggling because he found you so cute even when you made mistakes.
Soobin happily followed you to an empty table, just happy to be there and ignored the hand you had outstretched to motion for him to sit across from you just so he could sit next to you instead.
You just looked at him unamused as his smile dropped, “What? How am I supposed to see what we’re doing if I’m sitting all the way over there?”
You released a sigh, “Alright, did you bring your last exam?”
Soobin nodded his head, reaching into his huge backpack to retrieve his laptop and work. He quickly opened his laptop and got onto the school website app to find his most recent Psychology exam. He knew you were in that class too even if you took it at different times [he only signed up because of you and got the time wrong].
You looked at his laptop where a fat 65/100 score was typed in red that made you gasp, “Soobin?! How?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered, “I’ve been stressed, can’t pay attention well.”
Soobin was looking at you with soft eyes, unable to help himself from looking over what you wore today. He hasn’t seen you all day aJust as you opened your mouth to scold him, a high pitched feminine voice cut you off, “Binnie?”
You both turned in your seats, a cute brunette with hair just above her shoulders dressed in a cute coquette style smiled at him sweetly, “I thought I recognized you.”
You knew her well too, you used to call her Soobin’s little sidekick in a class you shared last semester. She always followed him around complimenting him over every little thing he did and laughing at all his jokes, even the ones that weren’t funny.
“Hi Jia,” Soobin said as he looked back down at his laptop. Jia smiled before sliding her gaze over to you, “Hi Y/n.”
“Hey.”
She cleared her throat, “So, Soobin, good thing I found you, I’ve been meaning to ask you if you’re free any time soon.”
“Um,” Soobin look at you, “For what?”
“Oh!” Jia blushed, “Um, I’ve been having software problems and I know you’re a game wizard so I figured you might know how to fix it.”
She already had her laptop out and you watched as she pulled up a chair from a different table to sit on his other side and he looked just as taken back to be sandwiched between the two of you now. Soobin didn’t say anything as he took her laptop once she showed him what’s wrong and he hurried to fix it. His lips were parted in concentration yet his dimples still showed and you couldn’t help but look at him over. You never once thought Soobin was ugly, he had to be one of the most attractive guys you’ve ever seen but you would never even think about it. If anything it’s a bit too late to imagine you and Soobin being anything more than rivals or even tutor and student. It would just be too much.
She smiled leaning into him, "Thanks, it's like you're the only one who knows how to fix it."
"Then you should probably learn how to do it yourself for when he’s not around," you responded out of the blue, flashing Jia a tight smile, "I could teach you but it's just a troubleshooting problem and it doesn’t take a brainiac to figure that out."
"I'd rather have Soobin teach me," Jia smiled looking back at Soobin who looked down at his own laptop to hide the fact that he was furiously blushing at how snappy you sounded. You smiled watching him ignore her, the jealous immature side happy he's not giving her much attention but you couldn’t understand why.
“You hear that Soobin?" You asked, nudging him with your knee, he released a breath stopping what he was doing and waiting for you to talk. Just like that, he didn't ignore you at this moment. "Jia wants you to teach her how to fix her own laptop, she’s taking advantage of your kindness, y’know."
Jia went to argue but the damage had been done. Soobin wouldn’t disagree with you, maybe you were right. He did always get bothered by all the girls who asked him to help them with something and he always felt bad saying no. In the end, half of the girls would use it to flirt with him and compliment him every chance they had and it made him uncomfortable.
Even if what you had said was a bit of a lie and probably more beneficial to you than him, Soobin was on your side — even if you sounded a bit mean, "Sorry I'm too busy but if you take it to the tech lab I'm sure they'll help you."
"He's too busy," you repeated smugly looking up at her again. You’re telling "Oh, I understand," Jia sighed, "Soobin are you doing anything? Maybe we can meet up and do some work."
You couldn’t help but scoff, Soobin immediately looked at you as you moved just a fraction away from. You looked annoyed and he knew it was once again because of him. He asked you to tutor him and yet here you are having to watch another girl try and take him away.
"Um, I don’t know, I’m kinda doing something with Y/n right now and I don’t know how long it’ll be," Soobin said mindlessly, eyes glancing in your direction like you would reward him for being blunt, he turned to you, "Can we continue?"
You stared at him in surprise. This is not how you expected this moment to go. You were almost certain that was thrilled at the idea of ending this and leaving with someone he appears to be close to. Sure, you watched him tell her he was busy but she kept pushing and you assumed he would just go with it instead. You were also being a little rude and she was his friend right, why else would they have looked so close last semester? You assumed he would’ve been annoyed by the way you responded to her and would want to end this study session before it could even start.
“I don’t know,” you said, sounding a bit more harsh than you expected, “Do you want to?”
Soobin looked genuinely caught off guard that you would even think that. Why would he not want to? He’s been thinking about this for weeks, he’s worked for this — or well stopped putting in the work so you could tutor him. Do you think he’s going to want to leave to hang out with Jia?
“Yes,” Soobin said looking all doe eyed and you’ve never seen him make that face to you. You looked to Jia, “So, can we finish studying or is there anything else you want to tell Soobin?”
She stared down at you with a glare but you didn’t budge, looking at her unimpressed and not intimidated at all. All you wanted to do was finish this study session, get paid, and go home. Why were they making this so complicated? Was it even worth all this trouble when you haven’t even gotten to reviewing his answers yet.
The more you thought about it the more you realized it was actually really annoying. Would you have to go through this every time you study in the library? Would some girl with a fat crush on Soomin come and try and take him away? Did you really want to put up with that?
Soobin practically jumped in his seat when you stood up, “It’s getting late and we haven’t even started, let’s just try this again some other time, I guess.”
“Y/n!” Soobin’s voice was a little too loud for the people in the library and a few felt perfectly fine telling him to shut up as he ran to the stairs completely forgetting Jin was standing there waiting on him.
The elevator came to a stop on the first floor and you swung your backpack onto your shoulders, head down as you caught up on your notifications. You barely made it past the elevator doors when you bumped into a very hard service. A strong arm grabbed you from the waist as you nearly stumbled back, your phone unfortunately did not have the luck of having someone grab it before it fell. Your hands clung to the shirt of the person and you finally got a good look at him, annoyed huff leaving your lips, “Soobin!?”
“What?” Play it cool, Soobin “I was coming to see where you went after ditching me up there.”
“I literally said we could do it some other day,” you released a sigh as you picked your phone up and shook his hands off your waist. Soobin loomed over your shoulder, “Damn, your screens cracked, when did that happen?”
He wasn’t thinking straight when he said that, all common sense completely left his body as he looked at your phone with pity, only snapping out of his thoughts when he felt you turn your head to look at him. It was then that he realized just how close the two of you were with him leaning down to look over your shoulder. He couldn’t help but attempt a smile noticing just how close your lips are to his and you smelled so goo—
“About two seconds ago, Soobin,” your voice was laced with sarcasm that had goosebumps raising on his skin at how annoyed you sounded, “When you bumped into me, remember?”
He blinked once in realization, feeling his cheeks heat up, “I did that?”
A tired sigh left your lips as you decided to ignore him. You weren’t sure if he was playing dumb to get on your nerves or if he actually was clueless but now you were more annoyed than before. You don’t have the money nor the time to get your screen fixed and you definitely can’t afford a new one.
“I’m going home,” you mumbled as you turned away from him, “Go find another tutor, probably Jia will help—“
“I don’t want to,” Soobin’s deep voice cut you off as he followed you out the door into the outside, “I want you to tutor me, Y/n. I’m sorry about your phone, I’ll fix it but don’t take back your word, you already agreed.”
You groaned, “Ugh, Soobin there’s so many girls who’ll tutor you and for free, you don’t need me and besides, we can’t study in the library if someone is going to interrupt.”
“Y/n it’s been one day,” Soobin said harshly, “Did Jia bother you that much?”
Soobin couldn’t help but feel hopeful and he wasn’t sure why. He knows you don’t like him so there’s no way you were jealous but to see you act just a little possessive over him made him blush. He liked it. He liked it a lot and he was determined to make you admit it any way you can. He watched you roll your eyes, expression laced with attitude, “I don’t care about Jia, Soobin, but if I’m trying to help your studies I’m not interested in others tagging along.”
He couldn’t help but bite his lip as he tilted his head to the side curiously, “So you want me to yourself?”
Once again you rolled your eyes, turning your back to him, “I’m leaving.”
“No,” Soobin grabbed at your wrist softly, “I’m kidding, come on, let’s figure something out, yeah?”
“Like?” You asked, still not sure why you’re willing to put yourself through this when you don’t even like him that much. You watched as his shoulder rose and dropped in a shrug, biting his lip in thought and you released a small sigh to let him know you were running out of patience. He looked down, “I don’t know, maybe we could go somewhere that it’s just us two.”
You could barely understand him from the way he mumbled but once you processed what he said, you just nodded, “Alright, I’ll go to your place tomorrow.”
“Really?” He asked, clearly thrilled at the idea but trying to play it off. You just nodded and he finally let you leave.
What were you getting yourself involved with him?
Soobin couldn’t sleep all night. He went to his classes looking like a complete zombie and for once he had an actual reason for not paying much attention. As much as he wanted to see you all day you made him wait till late because you had work after your last class. It only made him more anxious and he cleaned around his apartment twice, just to be sure you didn’t think he was messy even if he kind of was. The entire time this all happened, his friend watched him from the comfort of Soobin’s bed.
“So what makes you think Y/n would even want to hang out in your bedroom?” Taehyun asked as he watched his friend go crazy. Soobin was acting like he was preparing a date, he saw him put on Chanel perfume about three times, each time saying he couldn’t remember if he put any on. He even styled his hair on.y to mess it up and restyle it differently.
Soobin shrugged, “I don’t know, but my desk is here, Y/n might.”
Taehyun just nodded, not seeming fully convinced but went along with it anyway, “Wishful thinking, bin, wishful thinking, and just speak your truth, what’s the real reason why you want to be in your room instead out in the living room?”
He smirked watching the way Soobin’s face flushed red, “Privacy.”
He chuckled, “From who?”
Soobin didn’t answer him and it only made Taehyun smile in amusement, “I love you, but it’s never going to happen.”
“What are you talking about?” Soobin asked as he checked his phone, already smiling at the text you sent a few minutes ago that said you were already on your way.
soobin: ok just lmk
soobin: I’ll come down if u want
You didn’t respond but he didn’t expect you to, he only just sent the message but he still found himself waiting for those three dots to pop up on the message thread.
“I’m talking about how badly you want to hook up with Y/n,” Taehyun said, making Soobin look up at him completely shocked.
“I hate Y/n,” obviously he didn’t but he didn’t like the idea of his friends knowing he liked you without knowing how you felt and he had a reason for this. If they knew he liked you despite how mean you were to him, they would think he’s a masochist… it’s better they think he hates you too but apparently he wasn’t fooling anyone considering Kai caught on pretty quickly too.
Taehyun let out a laugh, one of those really loud and obnoxious laughs that told Soobin he was actually very amused by whatever was happening. He went as far as wiping away his cheek like a tear had fallen and said, “Good one, almost believed you there.
“I’m serious,” Soobin said as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, fixing a wrinkle in his shirt, “Y/n is mean to me, why would I like her?”
“I wanna know why too,” Taehyun said as he rolled onto his stomach only making himself more comfortable on the bed, “I mean, she’s hot, but she’s mean—wait a second, you like that she’s mean, huh?”
Taehyun was just teasing him at this point and when Soobin refused to respond, his eyes only widened, “Oh my god! You like that Y/n’s mean to you, are you a perv, Hyung?”
He was only teasing, he swears it. He doesn’t care what his friend is into, what he likes is totally up to him but it’s just fun to poke fun at him when he gets so flustered about it. He doesn’t blame Soobin for liking you, like he said, he can agree that you’re attractive, but you’ve blown Soobin off for three years. Did he really like you enough to keep up his charades and if so did he really go as far as failing his classes just to get you to talk to him? God, what will you do to Soobin once you find out?
“I’m not a perv!” Soobin yelled, a little louder than expected. He’s really not. He’s not a perv… he’s just… he just likes you. Yes, he likes that you’re a little mean to him, yes he likes when you scold him, yes he likes pushing your buttons and yes he especially liked it when you do it and he can see down your shirt or look at the squishiness of your thighs but… but he’s not a perv!
Okay, maybe he’s imagined what it’s like to feel under your shirt and has struggled to pay attention to anything but the sight of you in a short skirt but that doesn’t make him a perv, he’s just an easily distracted guy…
Before Taehyun could rebut, a loud knock was heard on the front door that had both of their eyes widening in surprise. Soobin was practically sprinting toward the door as his friend gathered his things to leave. He meant to leave before you were here but clearly time passed by way too fast and now he’s getting ready to leave just as Soobin was opening the door to you.
You looked at Taehyun curiously as he ran past you and out the door, yelling, “Hi Y/n! Bye Y/n!”
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you let yourself into Soobin’s apartment, “What’s up with him? Why’d he leave in a hurry?”
“Uh,” Soobin gave you a blank expression that sort of reminded you of a confused bunny and you watched him scratch the back of his head in thought, “You said no distractions and… and he would be a distraction, right?”
“I guess,” you took the chance to look around his apartment, it was huge, way bigger than your apartment and it was so painfully obvious that he came from money. He had a grand piano in the corner for fuck’s sake. There was even a chandelier hanging above the dining table and a fireplace by the tv. Too distracted to notice Soobin move behind you, you nearly hit him in self defense when he began to pull on your backpack to take it off your shoulders. Without bothering with a thank you, you headed toward his marble dining table waiting for him to follow but he just stood in place.
“We’re studying in my room,” Soobin said in voice that radiated confidence, completely opposite of the desperate tone he used to prove to Taehyun that he was not a perv. He had an act to play, he assumed you liked mean guys. He’s heard of some of the guys you used to talk to and they all had one thing in common… they were intimidating and Soobin didn’t feel like that at all so he had to play the part.
You didn’t even question it as you followed him into his room, eyes immediately zoning in on the white cage set on its own stand, two different levels to it and a small hedgehog inside. Soobin cleared his throat awkwardly, “That’s Odi, he’s a hood boy.”
Fuck, Soobin thought, why would he say that about a damn hedgehog?
“Cute,”you said coolly as you took the main desk chair, making him have to pull up a smaller chair next to you. You thought Odi was cute after he called him a good boy? Or did him calling Odi a good boy not affect your thoughts on the hedgehog? Oh god, his mind was completely scrambled.
Soobin didn’t have to be asked this time to show you his most recent exam. He knew it was what you were going to ask to see first and he wanted to show you that he could be a very good listener. He looked to you to see how you would react to his quick obedience but you barely even blinked as you pulled it toward you. You pursed your lips in thought and he watched your mouth closely. Your lips looked so soft, so plump and smooth with light lip balm on them.
He wondered how soft they would be in a kiss. Were you a good kisser? Would you think he’s a good kisser? How far would the two of you go or would it just be kissing? He would someday like to get to a point where he can openly adore you because there’s just so much from your pretty hair to your pretty legs and everything in between.
He had a dirty secret that’s not so much of a secret considering his thoughts from earlier but… he can’t help but always notice your breasts—after your cute annoyed face of course—he wasn’t a complete bimbo. He respects you, he can’t just immediately look at your boobs despite the fact that today you were a low cut fitted shirt. He tried paying more attention to your face as it looked like you were about to talk but his eyes couldn’t help but slowly trail down your neck to your collarbone until he saw just the smallest hint of cleavag—
“Are you listening?” He snapped his gaze back to yours looking completely red handed as he nodded his head, clearly not listening.
You released a sigh as you looked at him in thought. Soobin was smart, you knew how smart he was so why did he seem so clueless right now?it’s like he had no thoughts in that cute head of his an—did you just consider him cute?
You blinked in surprise at your own thoughts and just as you were going to ask him to repeat what you said, you saw in real time the way his gaze seem to drop once more and you finally understood what was going on.
Soobin was trying so hard not to stare and failing yet the attempt was cute, especially when he seemed to let his lower jaw go slack and lips part slightly at the sight. Normally you would immediately be disgusted but it’s Soobin… he’s annoying and a know-it-all but just look at that brain empty expression of his, not caring at all now if he gets caught.
Without thinking you dropped a hand to his thigh, squeezing slightly and making his gaze return to yours, “What did I say?”
“What?” Soobin asked, shaking his head like he was snapping out of a trance, the cold and deep voice was back. You rolled your eyes, “You said you were listening so I’m asking you to repeat what I said.”
You’ll admit this was all a bit out of character but you just had to see if you were right… was Soobin really staring at your cleavage openly, and if so, how did you feel about it?
“Um…” Soobin looked down at your hand, “Um…”
“Um?” You repeated sarcastically, “Can you focus? If not, I’m going home.”
“Yah!” Soobin whined with a low groan, “Stop saying that, you already agreed to tutor me, stop trying to back ou—“
“Then pay attention!” You said back and he practically stomped his foot in a tantrum, just wanting to argue now.
“I’m trying but you—you’re,” he groaned in frustration as the words died in his throat and with a defeated sigh, he mumbled, “I’m sorry… I wasn’t listening.”
You smiled proudly, not at all in a rush to figure out what had him so distracted, and instead said, “Good boy, don’t you feel better being honest?”
The words just slipped and you didn’t think much of them as you went back to the laptop, already writing down answers to the questions he got wrong, meanwhile Soobin is trying to calm the painful red blush in his cheeks.
There was a small sphere in the palm of your hand, it was a shade of dark blue with a white swirl on it and it matched the same one Yeonjun held in his hand. You’ve shared one class with him in the last two years and it’s in the one you’re currently in. The two of you have never spoken a single word to each other and the semester started six weeks ago. He looked just as surprised to realize his partner was chosen randomly by a stupid marble.
He released a small nervous chuckle, clearly just caught off guard by this. He’s almost a 100% certain you’re like the only person in class that he hasn’t spoken to. Now, that didn’t mean he didn’t notice you, you were pretty and never talking to you really did make you seem a bit mysterious to him. He cleared his throat, “Alright, when should we get started?”
You checked the time on your phone, you were supposed to be meeting Soobin soon to study at his place but you’ve just been completely blindsided by this sudden partner project in class. You only had about a week to turn in the research paper and you had to work a couple nights this week. You agreed to study with Soobin on days you didn’t work but now with this on the table, you seriously don't know what to do. Well, obviously you have to do the assignment but you don’t know how to tell Soobin. If you just sent him a text about it you’re pretty positive he will just blow up your phone nonstop because for some reason he desperately needs you to continue these study sessions.
“When are you free?” You asked him trying to figure out what time would work best for you to work on this. You were only getting tomorrow to do research in class and after that the two of you are basically on your own as the unit confíes on in class.
Class has just ended so the two of you walked together outside of the room trying to figure out when would work best. It was hard to ignore the looks you received from some of your other classmates and you knew why. Yeonjun was attractive, really attractive and he was popular too.
Yeonjun brought his phone out too, checking his schedule, leaning a little closer to talk to you, “Um, I could do… well I work tomorrow after class… are you free later to get started?”
Soobin had a smile on his face that he knew soon he would need to drop it, he couldn’t let you know how excited he was to see you right now. He was in a good mood, anytime someone said hi to him he was quick to say it back but if a girl tried stopping him to talk he would excuse himself saying he had to go somewhere.
His class ended a little earlier today so instead of waiting in the parking lot for you, he went to your last class.
Just as he turned the corner, his smile seemed to fall without his control anyway. Standing just a few feet away from him he found you and you looked so pretty today in a pair of jeans that hugged your curves just the way he liked it and… and you were standing with Choi Yeonjun.
He watched you smile at whatever Yeonjun said and he debated if he should just wait. He could wait, of course he can and honestly it’s what he should do. You’re just talking to another guy and it’s not like you’re flirting, right? It shouldn’t even matter to him, you’re not dating—you don’t even like him! So why does he feel bothered?
“Hey,” Soobin’s deep voice surprised you as he came up behind you, so close that you felt him press against your backpack, just looming over you with a hardened gaze. You looked back at him, “Hey.”
“Are you ready?” He asked, trying to keep his voice steady and he couldn’t help but shift his gaze toward Yeonjun, who he definitely wasn’t happy to see was just standing there.
You looked at him apologetically, “I don’t know if I can make it tonight. We just got assigned this project and we don’t have time to do it in class so…”
Your words slowly died down as you watched his facial expression change. His lips turned downward and eyes seemed to sadden, “What?”
You looked at Yeonjun, “I’ll see you in the library.”
He took the hint and left you alone with Soobin who loomed over you with his height looking like a kicked puppy. You’re not sure why this expression really bothered you and you’re feeling really guilty now even if it wasn’t completely your fault. You found yourself saying, “I’m sorry.”
“But we agreed to meet up today,” Soobin said.
“I’m sorry but we want to get at least the outline finish—“
“Then what about after?” He rushed to ask. You looked at him apologetically, “It depends on what time we get done.”
You’re not even sure why the look on his face was making you feel bad but it was. The two of you didn’t even start to get along till just a couple weeks ago and sometimes he’s just so different from the cold side you’re used to. Sometimes he gives you snippets of how desperate he might be to see you but you can’t help but always brush it off. You just can’t tell what’s the real side of him and you’re starting to be affected by his cuter clingier side even if you couldn’t understand it.
“I’ll be waiting,” Soobin said, rushing away because he didn’t know what else to do. He was leaving before you could say that you can’t keep any promises. You rolled your eyes at how pushy he was but part of you smiled, shaking your head in disbelief and clearly amused.
Soobin didn’t lie either. He waited at home playing video games and checking his phone every couple minutes. He would occasionally send you a text, just a little reminder that you can’t forget him.
soobin: what time do u think u’ll be done ☺️
you: I don’t know yet soobin
soobin: :(
*five minutes later*
soobin: almost done?
you: not yet
soobin: 🥺 well hurry
you: …
soobin: 😞
*twenty minutes later*
soobin: 😞
you: what’s wrong
soobin: nothing :)
soobin: did you forget?
you: ?
soobin: study time?
you: no, I didn’t forget
Listen, the texts were annoying. They were so annoying because you and Yeonjun were trying to finish up the rough draft for your outline but Soobin just kept sending you text after text. It was annoying but…
It was pretty fucking cute. Ugh, he was just being clingy and though you found it annoying it was also so cute and it had you hurrying up your time with Yeonjun so you could text Soobin.
you: just finished
soobin: ok 🥰hurry
That’s how you found yourself sitting across from Soobin in his overly large living room trying to talk to him but his eyes were just straying away from your eyes. It wasn’t his fault though, like he said earlier, you just looked so pretty. Your shirt was fitted today and like usual he can’t seem to get over your chest. All of you really, your pretty face, pretty voice, pretty laugh and smile… your boobs and your butt and your cold attitude, it all just turned him into mush.
“Hey,” your voice scared him out of his gaze and he looked up at you blankly and clearly caught off guard, “Can you look at me when I’m talking to you?”
“Okay,” he nodded his head obediently, “Sorry.”
“You don’t even have your backpack,” you said as he looked down at his lap, “You were blowing up my phone the entire time I was with Yeonjun and you’re not even ready to study.”
“I know,” he gulped, eyes unable to help themselves from slowly looking down to your cleavage again. “I’m sorry.”
You released an annoyed groan, grabbing his shirt suddenly and shaking him, “Are you?”
“Yes,” Soobin nodded, “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again Y/n, I’ll be good, I promise.”
“So next time I’m doing schoolwork with Yeonjun what are you going to do?” You asked.
He released a sudden huff that made it clear he was less than happy to say this but said it anyway, “I’ll wait patiently for you to finish.”
Nodding your head you turned toward the small coffee table where your laptop was, “Kay, go get your bag so we can start reviewing this.”
Soobin jumped to his feet, running away with a smile, “So you’re not mad at me?”
“No,” you said feeling him practically squeal next to you, making you only the more confused but couldn’t help yourself from saying, “It was annoying in a cute way.”
Soobin bit back the urge to smile and did as told. When he came out he had a white bag in hand that he handed you watching your eyebrows scrunch together cutely as you asked, “What’s this?”
“New phone,” Soobin said casually and your eyes widened in disbelief.
“Soobin, why would you get me—“
“Because I broke yours,” Soobin said helping you open the box, “I already called your service and asked if you would be able to add your line to it and they said yes. I can drive you if you want me to.”
You shook your head no, “This is crazy, you didn’t have to do that! I could still use my phone, it was just the screen.”
“But,” Soobin looked down, “But it’s a gift from me to you, can’t you just take it?”
“Soobin…”
“Soobin is so cute,” your friend Yuna said one night as you got to Beomgyu’s house for a party.
You’ve been filling your friends in on your past two weeks with Soobin and it was all a surprise to them. You seemed to despise Soobin for some time and suddenly you’re all about hanging out with him. Even Soobin seemed to always act cold around you so for you to tell them that he’s been surprisingly clingy is in fact very cute.
“He probably likes you,” Beomgyu said with a shrug of his shoulders that had you spitting out your drink in shock. It’s not like you hadn’t wondered the same thing but for a while you wondered if you had just been reading too much into it and then you felt stupid for even thinking about it. Beomgyu bringing it up so suddenly shocked you, maybe it wasn’t all in your head.
“You think?” You asked genuinely and Beomgyu laughed out loud.
“Are you kidding?” Beomgyu asked, “He’s been staring at you since he got here and I bet you he’s been trying to think up an excuse to talk to you.”
“I’ve known him for like three years now, there’s just no way, I’m not even nice to him,” you said as you looked around for Soobin only to find him already looking at you as he talked a
To some of his own friends. He gave you a big and energetic wave that had you lifting your hand to wave back too. You smiled a little when he did and Yuna sighed, “You like him too, huh? I mean he’s cute—“
“No! No, I don’t,” you cleared your throat awkwardly, “I mean… even if I did, would it even matter? He thinks I’m mean, right? It wouldn’t be fair to him.”
They both gave you a blank stare and just as you were going to respond, an arm came around your shoulders as a low voice said, “What are we talking about?”
You said a quick hello to him as your friends started talking, “Soobin and Y/n got a thing for each other and neither one of them will admit it.”
“That’s not tru—“
“Oh, yeah, it is,” Yeonjun said with a laugh, “You should’ve seen the look he gave me when we were talking the other day and yesterday he ignored me when I tried saying hi. I even told him he can have you back because our project was over and he just ignored me!”
Your brows furrowed in confusion, “That doesn’t mean he likes me, we’ve just been studying…”
Soobin was not a mean person, he swears it. He’s really nice and gentle and he would never dislike anyone without a reason. He’s too shy for confrontation yet right now he would really love to go up to you and just pull Yeonjun’s arm away from your shoulders. You’re done with your project so why is he s next to you and why is he touching you? Soobin hasn’t even had the chance to hold you so why does he get to? He watched closely as you talked to your friends and Beomgyu trying to make sure Yeonjun wouldn’t try anything. He let Yeonjun take your attention away from him pretty much all last week so why is he still around you? It wasn’t fair, Soobin should be the one next to you. He was such a good listener this week, after you got him in trouble and he promised to be good, he did just that. He only sent you two texts throughout your time with Yeonjun and he didn’t even bother you in class!
“Who are you staring at and are they hot?”
Soobin jumped in surprise, drink spilling down the front of his shirt as he whipped around to find Kai standing there laughing.
“What?” Soobin asked as he looked down at his wet shirt. Kai just sighed, “Nevermind, go clean your shirt.”
If Soobin was mean, he would’ve smacked the kid upside the head but he was nice and nice people only attack with pillows and there’s no pillows close enough to use. He’ll get Kai back soon, just not now, now he has to clean his shirt. He looked back to you and Yeonjun as if making sure there wasn’t any funny business and practically ran to go clean himself off.
He skipped past the line to the bathroom and walked down to the end of the hall where he knew Beomgyu’s room was. His friend was throwing the party anyway and though the room was off limits, he would understand. Soobin rummaged through his closet and went straight to his bathroom so he could at least wipe off some of the intense smell of alcohol, hurrying himself along so he can watch Yeonjun.
The music from the party was loud enough for him to hear a muffled version of it even hidden away in Beongyu’s bathroom and that made him feel nervous. While he’s in here cleaning off the stench of liquor, you were probably out there surrounded by guys hitting on yo—“Ow!”
Soobin’s head whipped back with a loud thud and his hands immediately flew to his nose as pain shot right through it. The person who pushed the door open stood there in shock, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Bin?”
A pool of red began to fill his cupped hands and he moved over the bathroom sink with a groan. You visibly cringed as he moved around you and reached for the toilet paper as you stood there shocked, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, I—oh my god.”
He finally looked over at you, heart racing as he pulled the paper towel away, blood beginning to dribble again, “Y/n?”
“Soobin, I’m sorry, I saw you come over here and I wanted to sneak up on you but,” your face cringed, “Soobin please, you’re still bleeding.”
“Oh right,” Soobin held the paper towel to his nose again.
“It’s a lot of blood,” you said apologetically, “I’m sorry, Soobin.”
“It’s fine, this happens all the time,” he waved you off with a bloody hand and you bit down on your bottom lip looking hurt, “No it doesn’t, I’m so sorry.”
You sniffled a bit as you looked at your reflection in the mirror while Soobin carefully wiped off whatever mess was left until it was all clean. You struggled to look at him and his red nose even if he was completely clean but he didn’t even notice. He was more excited that you came to see him instead of staying out there with other guys, “So you wanted to sneak up on me?”
“Well you had been staring at me all night and I was just gonna see if you would say hello. I should’ve just waited outside, this is awkward right?” You were rambling a bit but he just smiled lovingly.
He shook his head no as the two of you left the bathroom, “No, not awkward, right? I wanted to say hi but you were busy.”
“Busy?” Your brows furrowed in confusion, “What do you mean?”
You weren’t busy, you were just talking to your friends. Nothing you talked about was serious or anything you just talked about Soobin, he could’ve said hi at any time. Soobin’s smile dropped, going serious for a moment, “Yes you were, with Yeonjun, I saw.”
You blinked in thought, “We were just talking, you could’ve come over any time.”
He released a deep sigh, looking around the dark bedroom happy that it was just two despite the dozens of people out there getting drunk with loud music. Letting his gaze fall back on you, he made a small pout, “Well, how was I supposed to know that? Last time you got me in trouble for not leaving you alone when you’re with Yeonjun an—“
“Soobin, that was just when we were studying, I didn’t realize you were thinking I meant all the time,” you said apologetically. Soobin stepped closer to you, “I was just trying to be good and listen. If I knew then I would have pulled you away the second I saw Yeonjun even come close to you!”
You looked genuinely taken back by his tone, if you didn’t know any better you would say that he almost sounded jealous. Even the look in his eye made it seem like he wasn’t happy and you weren’t used to this at all. The other day when you talked to Yeonjun for the first time, Soobin stormed up to you and took you by surprise when he appeared behind you, so close that you felt his breath on your shoulder.
Now you’re starting to see that it was possibly all because of jealousy.
“Are you jealous of Yeonjun?” You asked him and he audibly scoffed.
He was not jealous of Yeonjun. He didn’t think Yeonjun was better than him, if anything he thought they were pretty much on the same level of attractiveness. Yeonjun was more extroverted than he was but Soobin wasn’t worried about that. He didn’t feel so insecure over things like that so no, he’s not jealous.
He’s possessive. Soobin knows you aren’t dating and he knows that you probably still don’t like him yet but… but you’re his. He’s already called dibs, he’s already put in so much work to make that happen. Obviously he’s not going to be happy if your attention strays away from him, he wants you looking at him and thinking about him all the time, the way he does about you.
“No,” Soobin finally said, “But… but you’re… yknow, you’re mi—“
“Why are you in my shirt?” Beomgyu asked as his bedroom door opened and he stood in the entrance. He looked between you in surprise, “Wait, am I interrupting something?”
You stood there in shock, you weren’t sure what he was about to say but part of you also felt like you had an idea. It really did seem like you had an idea. After all your friends have basically instilled it in your head that he might like you it wasn’t hard to guess what he was going to say but you just can’t bring yourself to fully believe it yet. He was so nice, you can see it now so you just felt bad to think that he might like you after you were mean to him at times. To make things worse, he seemed to be totally okay with you always snapping on him or just ignoring him and you just felt bad because you were genuinely starting to fall for him and you can admit that now.
Soobin shook his head no. He had been watching you the entire time and he can just tell you’re overwhelmed by something right now. He just smiled cutely, “I had to borrow your shirt because mine got wet, sorry?”
You looked up at him, and he smiled wider, eyes crinkling, “I think I’m gonna head home now but I’ll text you.”
Soobin said goodbye to you and Beomgyu and before you could make your leave, Beomgyu pulled you back in, “What happened? What were you guys doing? Were you making out? Ew, oh my god please don’t tell me if you did anything on my bed.”
“What are you talking about?” You asked, clearly thrown off, “No, we were just talking, if you hadn’t interrupted then I would have known what he was going to say.”
He gasped, “I didn’t interrupt, you’re in my room, remember? And why didn’t you just go with him, you like him too.”
You bit your lip, “How do I tell him? I just missed my chance.”
“I don’t know, you’ll probably just have to show him.”
When Monday came you went over to Soobin’s place for your usual study lessons. After the party the two of you have been texting but it wasn't about anything deep. It’s like you were tip toeing around a possible confession that neither of you wanted to do through text. After your last class he invited you over with the intention to just be straight forward and hope that you would want him but he’s still a little scared.
If you tell him you hate him he thinks he might cry so he’s been trying to seem cool and collected this entire time.
He fidgeted in his desk chair as he watched you take your laptop out. With a clear of his throat he stood up, “Um, do you want water? I can get us some.”
“Sure, where is your textbook? I forgot mine.”
He pointed to his backpack and let you get it as he left for the kitchen. Without a single thought, you reached for his huge backpack in search of a familiar textbook. Once you found the book you pulled it out of his overly stuffed bag accidentally bringing a few papers with it too and as you looked them over, your eyes widened.
CHOI SOOBIN
SCORE: 65
You didn’t think about it for a second, he’s been showing his assignment scores and it has been improving little by little bit as you took a closer look you could clearly see a layer of whiteout and the score 98, crossed off. It made your brows furrow in confusion and you looked at the pages finding answers erased and replaced with wrong ones crossed out in red.
It’s like he was purposely grading himself bad and as you put the papers back away you realized why. He asked you to tutor him and you never understood that. He was always smarter than you so you couldn’t wrap your head around why he asked you of all people to help him. Even when it came down to the actual study sessions, Soobin always got things right away and very rarely struggled to find an answer but then he would come to you and quickly show you his bad score and ask for your help again.
Sometimes, studying was the last thing on his agenda when he was with you and you always found him distracted and not fully listening so now you know he’s been lying to you. He lied to get you to study with him yet all you’ve seen was him stare at your boobs, get clingy, and pretend to get bad grades.
Was all this just a little scheme to get you to hang out with him? If that’s the case then did he really like you and expect you never to find out?
Sure, you’ve come to realize that you like him too but for him to go this far just for you to talk to him… well, you’re not all that happy about it. Did he expect you never to find out and now that you have what was your plan?
Soobin came in with a smile on his face, “I brought snacks.”
“Mhm,” you said, moving to sit on his bed and away from his backpack, “Let’s work on the bed today, I wanna get comfortable.”
He watched you make yourself on his bed and all he could focus on was the way your skirt fluttered around your legs exposing more of your thighs and when he looked up at you, your eyes were already on him, catching him red handed in the act of checking you out. This time around you smirked a bit now knowing that he’s been lying this whole time just to get you to hang out with him. It was cute and he was cute so you can’t be mad but at the same time, he was very bold in getting mad when you had to study with Yeonjun, made you feel guilty too. You gotta let him know you know about his lie but you’re working up a plan.
It’s not no surprise that he likes you, that has become painfully obvious and you like him too but you want to get him in trouble. He lied and he thought you would never find out. How long did he plan on keeping this up? He’s gotta get in trouble, right? Maybe a little teasing, just to see if this really was all just to study or for him to get a good look at you when you’re alone together. It’s not like you never noticed the way his eyes would trace down your body while you’re trying to do homework.
If you’re going to tell him you know about his lie, you’re going to make it fun.
“O—okay,” Soobin stuttered as he sat down with a foot of space between you, “I mean, yeah cool.”
You smiled at his awkwardness, now you can see that he’s not as cold as he wants to to think he is and it only makes him look cuter.
The two of you studied for a bit, you couldn’t come right out and tell him you knew the truth, where was the fun in that? You had to play along a bit and see how he would take it so that’s what you did.
“Soobin, you keep getting the answer wrong and I’m starting to get annoyed,” you said as you watched him hesitate over the right answer before choosing the wrong one, eyes sliding over to look at you every now and then. You were wearing a low cut top again and matched with your miniskirt it was getting hard for him to not get distracted and the two of you are alone in his bed… he just can’t focus.
“Sorry, Y/n,” his eyes lingered on your thighs a little longer than usual and you subconsciously unwrapped them a little, the small gap from where the skirt ended and what covered your underwear, slowly widened. You released a heavy sigh, “Why are you so distracted?”
At that his eyes seemed to fall toward your cleavage, catching himself in the act of staring and looked back down, “I don’t know.”
You had to bite back a smirk and without any hesitation, you moved closer to his side, “Do I need to punish you? Will that get you to pay attention?”
You were half joking but tempted to see what he would say and you could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he seemed to become mush at your words, “H-how?”
You released a deep sigh, “How? That’s the wrong answer, I shouldn’t have to punish you. You should say, ‘Okay, Y/n, I’ll pay attention.’ What are you? A perv?”
Soobin went quiet at that and for a second you thought you might’ve said the wrong thing. His face flushed red and he looked down at his lap sadly but before you could apologize for asking him that, he said, “Maybe.”
“Maybe? So you’re a perv?” Your brows raised in surprise, “You want me to punish you?”
He gave a subtle nod of his head making you grow quiet, well this just got interesting. With a huff, pretending to be annoyed, you shifted even closer taking his hand in yours and pulling it to write on his paper with yours over his, “Start writing.”
“What am I writing?”
“Write: I am a liar and a perv,” you said jokingly and he looked up at you cutely so you helped him write, “I lied to Y/n about needing help, and I can’t stop staring at her boobs.”
His hand froze up mid sentence, “Y/n, how’d you find out?”
You smiled, he didn’t even bother hiding it this time, “Because I found your exam scores, you’ve been lying to me Soobin, after telling me nonstop how good you are,” you said with a stern voice.
“Are you mad?” He asked shyly. You released a sigh, pretending to contemplate, “Maybe? Are you going to listen and pay attention from now on?”
He nodded his head, watching curiously as you moved to sit behind him, turning to stare at you but you snapped your fingers forcing him to look forward again. You scooted close until your legs were spread around his big frame with your breasts pressed against his back that had his breath hitching in surprise. They already felt squishy and your arms moved to hug his waist. Soobin sucked in a breath when your hands rested on his thighs and he immediately looked down, already feeling himself begin to fidget in excitement and nervousness.
“I want you to read the question, and tell me the answer, I know you know it,” you said, making him nod his head, throat too dry to give you a verbal response, “But since you’re a perv, I’m not going to make it easy for you, I’m gonna touch you and if you stop, I stop, got it?”
As if to further explain what you meant, your hand moved toward his groin area making him breath heavier, “Mhm.”
“Yes or no.”
“Yes,” he sighed, “I’ll listen.”
His head tilted to the side when you began to teasingly touch the zipper, slowly pulling it down and undoing the button of his jeans, “Start reading.”
Soobin swallowed dryly, unable to help himself from thinking about the fact that you’re brakes today, he could practically feel your nipples against his back and when your hand ran over the expanse of his growing length, he couldn’t find the right word. You were a little surprised to feel his immediate response to your touch, already feeling him harden before you even did anything and you smiled, “I said, start reading.”
“Mhm,” he hummed with a nod of his head, blinking to try and collect his thoughts, “First question, When a gene is expressed, it means that the protein—ohh.”
His breath hitched in surprise as your hand wrapped around his clothed cock feeling him just continue to get more erecting. You even gave it a little squeeze, “Did I say stop? No, so keep going.”
“Mhm, protein that it codes for is being made by transcription and translation…” his word slowly when your thumb circled around his tip, still not touching him under his briefs, teasing him, “Imagine two genes in a eukaryote. One is gene X. The other is gene A—Y/n, I can’t focus.”
“So did you lie to me again?” You asked, finally sneaking your hand under the waistband or his briefs, “You said you would listen and pay attention.”
Your fingers wrapped around his thick length giving him a soft and teasing stroke, feeling his dick twitch instantly as he nodded his head. The words were bef ninny to get blurry when your palm hugged the head of his cock, twisting your wrist and smearing it in his own precum, surprised that it was already leaking. Soobin licked his dry lips trying to focus again, “In the cells you are studying, gene X is being expressed, and gene A is not being expressed—oh my god.”
He stopped when he felt you lean further against him, soft lips pressing a gentle kiss against his neck, fingers brushing along the underside of his tip and he couldn’t help but buck his hips just a little. You pulled his cock out of his underwear, “You still haven’t even finished reading the first question.”
“I’m trying,” he released a moan, “But it’s so hard, Y/n.”
You glanced down at his dick over his shoulder, nearly joking and asking if he meant his dick or the action. The head was red with need and precum leaked from the tip with a thick vein nearly throbbing everytime your hand stroked him. You gave him a small squeeze hearing him moan freely, “Keep going.”
With an annoyed groan he nodded, still waiting a moment when you began to pump his length using his own excess precum to lubricate him for an easier slide. He attempted to pick up where he left off, “—and gene A is not being expressed—ngh. Which prediction below is most likely true in these cells?”
You kissed his neck again, “Now what’s the answer?”
He released a throaty moan that made you suck harshly against his neck with the vibrations of it, stroking faster, squeezing at his base and flicking your wrist around his tip, unable to ignore the way he raised his hips to fuck into your fist. You put your legs on to of his lap to keep him from bucking, holding him in place, “I’m waiting.”
His head lolled to the side, hissing in pain when you stopped, tightening your fist and looked at him expectantly. He had to use his stupid brain, “Ugh, i—it’s B. There are more activa—oh my god—activators for gene X than for gene A.”
Your tongue licked a long stripe toward his ear, sucking on his ear lobe as you said, “Good boy, Soobin, next one.”
“Mhm,” he whined, feeling his heart leap at the name, “Good boy,” he repeated to himself. Unable to help himself he turned his head to look at you, big sparkly eyes staring into yours and without much thought, you leaned forward, letting your tongue slide into his mouth, never once stopping the jerking of his cock until finally… you felt it.
It was a complete overflow of warmth, thick and creamy cum that wouldn’t stop leaking from his tip as he threw his head back with a loud moan, hips lifting up even with your legs holding him down. It felt never ending, your fist was completely covered in his cum and it drenched his jeans and boxers, you were genuinely surprised. You didn’t know someone could cum this much from a simple handjob.
Soobin released a dry groan as you finally freed yourself from the absolute puddle of cum, looking down at the white cream that coated your fingers, letting him go and watching him fall limp against you. His chest rose and fell with each heavy breath and he looked absolutely fucked out that you allowed him to lie down as you pushed the textbooks off the bed, wiping your hand against his own jeans, tugging them off, “Soobin.”
“Mm,” he hummed, looking completely zoned out but let you undress him. You clicked your tongue, climbing on top of his spent cock watching it twitch with life as you sat down, “Did I tell you to cum, bunny?”
His lip quivered as he looked at you, wordlessly shaking his head no. You released a deep sigh, “So you weren’t listening? Is that good or bad?”
“Bad,” he said sadly, “B—but I couldn’t Y/n, I—“
“You what?” You asked teaching for the end of your shirt, “You just thought to cum soon, like a dumb virgin?”
He stayed quiet, watching and feeling completely hypnotized by the sight of your bare breasts for his eyes only, finally. They were just how he imagined, big and soft with nipples he could see harden under his intense gaze. He was so lost in the sight that he absentmindedly said, “Yes.”
You seemed to stop as you flung your shirt to the floor, only wearing your small miniskirt, “Yes what?”
“Dumb virgin—“
“What?” You asked suddenly watching his face redden and you felt goosebumps raise on your skin, “Are you saying… are you a virgin?”
He nodded blankly, eyes on your boobs and nothing else, his cock coming back to life, “Mhm.”
“Oh my god,” you nearly jumped off his lap but his hands moved so fast to hold you by the waist and stop you. Your eyes widened, “Soobin, I—are you—oh my god, is this your first time getting a handjob?”
He blushed, nodding his head shyly, hands unable to stop themselves from sliding up your sides until they were just under the curves of your tits, thumbs nearly touching, “Yes and my first kiss, bu—“
“I am so sorry,” you tried to move but his hands were suddenly cupping your breasts, a blank expression on his face as he stared at them in awe, catching a feel while you tried apologizing, “Soobin, we shouldn’t. I—I—“
“I want to,” Soobin groaned, thumbs running over your nipples, “Please Y/n, I want you so fucking bad. I think about you all the time, I think about this all the time.”
You couldn’t help but grind against his naked cock at his words, “You do?”
His big hands felt good as they groped you, “All the time.”
It didn’t take you long to realize what he meant, a small smile on your face, “When you touch yourself?”
He nodded, releasing a quiet whisper as your nipples became hard pebbles that he couldn’t help but pinch, you smiled, grinding on his fat spent cock, “When you watch porn?”
Once again he nodded.
“When else?”
“Whenever you leave here,” he confessed, completely hypnotized by the bounce of your tits when you grind on his dick, “I tried using a flesh light but I’m too big, it always rips an—“
Now he was blabbing but it made you so fucking horny. He was big, too big to be a virgin and the territorial side of you was taking over. You’re the only one who’s made this big, stupid cock cum and holy shit, he came so much just from a handjob!
Feeling a bit more confident, he tilted his head cutely, looking up at you, “You’ve got big boobs, Y/n.”
“I kno—“
“Can I kiss em?”
Your eyes widened in surprise and a wicked smirk came to your face, shimmying up his torso, “No.”
His jaw dropped sadly, “Bu—“
“I got something better you can kiss,” you said seductively and he looked up at you with the cutest doe eyes you’ve ever seen. How could you ever dislike him? Just look at him.
“Really?” He looked down at the space between your legs, a thin thong right there between your folds and he could make out a wet spot. Licking his lips his big hands found your thighs, taking the honor to help you move up, “I’ve never, y’know…”
“I know, bunny,” you said even as he moved you closer and closer to your head with anticipation, “I’ll talk you through it bu—Soobin!”
A small squeal left your lips as he nearly knocked you forward, face between your legs, “Wait, I’m heavy, don’t do that unless you want me to suffocate you.”
Soobin wasn’t listening, his face was already against your pussy, nose brushing over the soaked fabric of your underwear, “Is okay, I want you to.”
He licks the wet spot on your underwear, lapping at the puddle with a moan, “Smells so good, Y/n, love it.”
You softly tugged his hair, leaning more and more of your weight onto his face and rocking, “Careful, okay? If it’s too much just tell me to stop.”
Soobin nodded his head against your clit, giving you a thumbs up before he completely yanked at your frail panties making you gasp as he tore into them. You yelled his name once more and he made a pout, “Sorry, they were in my way.”
“Slow down Binnie,” you reminded him, for a guy who’s never done it he seemed so experienced. Maybe it was all the porn he watched. You didn’t have much time to dwell on it as his tongue began lapping between your hole and your clit, sucking on it like it was a fucking lollipop, swirling his tongue around it hungrily. It’s not his fault. If you weren’t so pretty with such big boobies and a big brain and a cute laugh… he wouldn’t be so eager. He felt the moment your strength dissipated, hips no longer hovering and practically suffocated him, and he loved it.
He got sloppy, wanting to stick his tongue into your cunt as far as it could go, bunny eyes staring up as you rode his face now, losing yourself to the feeling, “Oh my god.”
Soobin began a repetitive motion with his tongue against your clit, before fucking you with it, he spread your ass with his big hands but his eyes were on the way your tit juggled with each breath you took and he imagined your clit was a nipple. His cock twitched at the thought, legs moving restless against the bed as he tried finding his own release but he jumped bucked his hips into the air.
You were so close, so so so close, moaning like a bitch in heat and accidentally tugging on his hair too hard, but he didn’t mind one bit. He liked it, it egged him on and he made out with your pussy so good that you couldn’t hold back, cum spilling into his open mouth with your thighs clenching around his head. A low moan fell from his lips and as you tried coming down from your heavy orgasm, his own cock released another stream of cum. You turned to look at it, a puddle of white coating his stomach, culling untouched.
Your jaw dropped as he let you go and before you could offer up a break, he was flipping you onto your back, head immediately going between your breasts.
“Fuck,” you breathed out as his mouth attached itself to your left tit like he wanted to swallow them whole. His mouth was covered in your cum and some drool. His cock lay perfectly between your folds and you just felt how hard he was, bringing your hands to his hair, coddling him, “You love my boobs, don’t you?”
At the feel of your hands in his hair, he groans, teeth gently nipping at the hard buds, “Mhm. Love ‘em.”
“I know, that’s why you always stare at them, naughty bunny,” you teased, feeling his shaky inhale. He kissed your tits and sucked on your nipples as his erecting cock jumped your folds, “Not naughty.”
“Really?” You asked, biting back a moan when he shook his head against your boob just soaking in the softness of them against your cheek, “Just being a perv then?”
“Mm,” Soobin moaned, “Wan’ fuck you, Y/n, baby.”
Your brows raised in surprise as the pet name fell from your lips already feeling his hand sink down toward his cock while tonguing at your sensitive nipple. You couldn’t help yourself at this point, stroking your fingers gently over his nipples, smiling as he shudders at the feel, cock slippery in his hands as you said, “Fuck me then.”
With a quick nod he lined himself up, missing your hole a few times till you offered him help and moaned. His body fell against yours, not sure what to do as the tightness of your pussy completely overwhelmed him, face between your tits, tongue trying to lick you even if he was so far away. He whined, “Y/n, Y-Y/n, help—“
His words died when you grabbed his hips, guiding them back before thrusting them into your own pussy until he got the rhythm. You didn’t even think twice about the fact that you weren’t using a condom. You were on birth control and though it wasn’t fully effective it was safer than not having anything and clearly it was too late. You didn’t expect the virgin to have condoms anyway.
“It’s okay, baby, nice and slow—fuck, Bin,” you moaned softly. Where did this new Soobin come from? He was fucking you now at a steady pace dragging his stupidly fat cock out till only his tip was in and drawing his hips forward till he impaled you. His mouth lazily kissed at your breasts before moving up your neck, humping his cock into your stretched out cunt with moans falling from his lips repeatedly.
Soobin was gasping for air and his grunts became louder and louder, slamming into you like his life depended on it, “So good.”
“Yeah?” You asked, clinging to him, “Love your first pussy?”
He kissed you nastily. Tongue down your throat and you could still taste your cum but it only made you moan. He was fucking you roughly, nails digging into your plump hips making sure you couldn’t escape his brutal thrusts even if you wanted to. It was his turn to lose control and fuck, he was so close.
It was a scene out of a porn video, it reeked of sex and his bed sheets were completely ruined. His stomach was covered in his cum that just soaked yours from the way he rutted himself against you and it was just nasty and horny. You hugged him close, legs wrapping around him, tits pressed against his chest, “I’m close, bunny, you gonna cum for me?”
“Mhm,” he whined fucking you so good you were seeing stars. His dick was just so big and the girth on it was insane, he impaled you over and over again, “Gonna cum.”
You know you should tell him to pull out. It’s the right thing to do but…
But…
Hot ropes of his creamy cum filled your cunt suddenly with a cry as his body shook against yours. Despite cumming twice already it felt never ending and you couldn’t help yourself. The stimulation was just too much, his cock still thrusting into the wet space between your thighs.
Soobin sniffled, face between your breasts, clinging to you so hard you had to practically pull at his hair, “Soobin, bunny, I know it was a lot but you have to move.”
He shook his head, you could hear his sniffles get louder, “Don’t wanna.”
You ran your fingers through his hair, pouting when you found his reddened eyes, “I need to clean up.”
He shook his head cutely but he knew better. He slowly pulled out, watching with starry eyes as globs of cum left your pussy, an urge to finger it back into you strong but he let you sit up in shock at the mess.
“Did you lie to me again?” You asked jokingly but it went right over his head even as you said, “You don’t fuck like a virgin.”
“No! I didn’t! You’re my first, I promise,” he basically followed you out of bed, “Don’t leave.”
“I’m not going to,” you assure him, “But I need to use the bathroom.”
“You’ll come back, right?”
You smiled, “I can’t just stay in there, can I? Lay down, I’ll help you clean up next.”
He nodded his head tiredly, doing just what you asked as he yawned.
Once you were done, hoping you got most of it out you opened the door to his bathroom, nearly screaming when you found him standing just on the other side of it. You gasped, “You scared me.”
“Sorry,” he sniffles and it looks like he’s been crying, “Sorry.”
“What for?” You asked, trying to lead him back to his bed feeling sad. What happened? You’re not used to Soobin like this. You laid him down and joined him, “What’s wrong?”
“Sorry for lying—I—I—I just like you so much and—and,” he struggled with words and you pulled him in for a hug, his head immediately on your chest.
“Don’t worry, it’s okay, I promise,” you said, “I like you too, why don’t you try and get some sleep? It was a lot for your first time, I’m sorry.”
“I liked it,” he said with a content sigh, “Promise you won’t leave?”
“I promise,” you said brushing his hair back but he wouldn’t budge.
“Pinky swear?” He asked hopeful that you smiled.
“I pinky swear,” you said, kissing the tip of his nose, “We’ve gotta talk anyway.”
He pouted once more, “About? Y-you don’t like me?”
“Binnie, I already told you I do,” you said softly, feeling him relax, “But we need to talk about what to do, right?”
“Mhm,” he hummed, finally relaxing against you, “Want you to be my girlfriend.”
“Aren’t I too mean, though?”
“Yes,” he said cutely, “But I like it.”
::.
ok this took me forever 😭😭sorry friends but I hope it was worth it.
taglist: @laylasbunbunny @bangchansbae
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tonkatsubowl · 1 month
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hsr penacony men reacting to the reader being a yandere
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▼ trigger warning. for alot of things.
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aventurine would most definitely keep an eye on you. he previously stated that he lost everything in life and that he had nothing else to lose anymore, but now... with your love for him, he knew that he would never try to lose you. however, your behavior got worse as the two of you got into a relationship. you became obsessive, possessive and toxic at times. you threatened others when they got too close to him, and there were times where he literally had to hold you back. aventurine liked this side a bit, but when it got triggered, he had to do everything he can to prevent you from murdering everyone in sight. he'd soothe you with words to calm you down, and there would be times where he had to physically keep you down. kisses and hugs would do the trick, but sometimes it'd take more than that.
"again?" aventurine murmured as he approached the dark alleyway of the outskirts of penacony.
the stench of blood filled his nostrils as he approached you obliterating an innocent person, your eyes wide and an insane smile adoring your veil.
"(y/n)..." he placed a hand atop of your shoulder, seizing you of your actions. you look over, your blood-covered face softening when you see your lover.
"she's dead. there's no need to make a mess now." he soothes you, stroking your hair as he began to clean you up with a handkerchief.
"she was certainly being a mess earlier," you cooed, "i had to get rid of her. she was talking about wanting to sleep with you, and—"
he hushed you by pressing his lips against yours, before pulling away. he couldn't help his popularity in penacony, but his reputation was extremely dangerous. because of you.
"it's alright, dear. remind yourself that nobody other than you will be able to have me."
"... hehehe. i just love you so much, kakavasha."
dropping the murder weapon, you embraced him, tainting his expensive clothing with the victim's blood.
"... i love you too." his gaze softens, looking at the gruesome sight before him. now he has to clean this up...
dr ratio knew that this side of you was hidden, somewhere, waiting to be summoned. he knew the moment he met you for the first time, there was something about you that wasn't... right. and now time has flown by, and the both of you were engaged in a relationship. however, he didn't calculate that this side of you would be so dark.
luckily for you, dr ratio was an introvert and only spent his time reading books and whatnot. he spends his days indoors, doing whatever a mathematical, physiological and scientific genius would do, so you didn't have to worry about him going off.
however, just one moment he walks into a public library and all hell breaks loose. a woman admiring him from afar would be declared missing, and you would obviously be the reason why.
he sighed, seeing that the woman's body was laid to rest, and you were approaching him with the murder weapon in hand.
"veritas!" you exclaimed, bouncing towards him with glee, "i missed you!"
he eyes at the gruesome sight behind you, sighing to himself as you embraced him. you impressed him, seeing that he did not calculate this dangerous side of you. but you had to be controlled. he definitely learned that questioning you of your antics and beliefs would drive you crazy and go on both a rampant and a rampage.
"...i missed you, as well. but please do not make a mess, next time. i'd rather not see you coat yourself with blood again. if anyone sees you, then—"
"or what." you threatened, your eyes widening. "let them see. let the world see! the world needs to know that you're mine. you're mine. you're mine. you're mine! you're mi—" you went off again, and he had to quiet you by placing a hand atop of your head. "i am yours," he forced himself to reassure you, "but i would much rather you not get caught. do you understand that?"
as though your demeanor changed, you became a guilty dog that was caught ripping something apart (literally). your eyes pleaded, as you look down.
"okay..."
"good. now let's clean you up."
sunday knew this side of you. considering he was also a manipulative person, he truly didn't mind that you were doing this but at the same time, he had a reputation to keep. he didn't want you to dirty the streets of penacony due to a bit of jealousy or hatred towards other people who admired sunday.
but he was given word that you were killing one of the guard dogs of the family, who spoke ill about you. well deserved, he thought, until he had to clean up after you.
the doors opened, revealing you, multiple guards watching you with horror and disgust, and the victim that could not be even seen as a victim anymore but a pile of intestines and minced meat.
he sighed, pinching his nose, before approaching you. the guards around him shook with terror as they were confused how he of all people was not affected by your actions.
"(y/n)," he calls out to you, "must you be this dirty with your actions?"
"he was talking ill about you." you say, looking towards him as you got up, happily skipping towards him, "so i got rid of him."
well deserved, sunday once again thought, but now he has a mess to clean up.
he signaled the guards to clean up the minced meat pile, before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "now i have to drag you into the bath to get you washed up."
"okay! will you join me? you have to. you need to. or else everyone here dies, and—"
"i will." sunday nods slowly, pressing his lips at corner of your lips. "do not fret."
and because of this, and all the previous other events you did, you were practically nicknamed the "dog of sunday". you were a dog to be corrected on a leash, always by sunday's side, and a threat to those who opposed the man.
loyal, and forever by his side, waiting to bite.
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kissitbttr · 2 months
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how would frat!mig be in a huge argument w his girl?? idk a part of me feels like he’d be lowk immature abt it. of course he makes up to her un the end bc i cant stand angst 👎👎🧌
oh very
“so that’s it? you’re not even going to talk to me?” miguel stares at your moving figure, who’s hastily picking up a fresh shirt from the dryer. “never realized i’m actually dating a child” he scoffs when you don’t answer to him,
before the two of you started dating, you already knew how many girls miguel had swept off their feet. the ex-girlfriends, the jealous glares, the talking in between groups. it does brings the greatest displeasure in you to witness all of that. but miguel’s top priority is to ease your worries, and he doesn’t want to lose you over something that’s not worth to be talked about.
but the thing is, miguel sometimes forget how to set boundaries. almost like he’s not even trying anymore.
like today during practice. when you were practicing your tumblings and routines whilst miguel did his football drills. your eyes fell upon a familiar blonde girl from the volleyball team making her way towards your boyfriend.
it’s not like you don’t allow miguel to talk with other girls, you’re not as insane. letting a girl touch and feel his biceps is another story. you don’t need a damn book to know what the girl’s intentions are. obviously she was being flirty. blinking her eyes up at him, subtly biting her lip though knowing he’s taken.
the girl was previously known to be acting like a total slut. not that you’re shaming her when it really is a fact. prances herself around other guys even though their taken. you and gloria shares the same mutual dislike towards her when she had told you how the blonde kept trying to get into beck’s pants. thankfully, beck knows how to handle it.
so you waited. waited and watched at how your boyfriend would respond. instead he did nothing. nothing but a smile on his face without brushing the girl’s touch. they carried on a small talk
it broke your heart. and to some, it may sound a little bit too exaggerated but they wouldn’t know for sure until their partner was being felt up by other people and them not doing anything about it.
you were about to make your way towards the two of them, wanting nothing but to rip that girl’s hair off of him but stopping when your coach calls you to inform the practice is starting soon,
your mind wasn’t at ease for one bit during practice.
“i’m a child for wanting to communicate over what happened today? yeah, sure. talk your fucking shit, o’hara” you reply to him, rolling your eyes as you furiously toss your other belongings into a bag. “a real keeper you are”
the sound of his last name falls upon your lips doesn’t feel right to him. sure, you may have called him that in a fun manner but he knows that this time you’re actually pissed.
and miguel is not an expert at expressing his feelings and emotions. he’s got a lot to learn. the only way he knows how it to use anger and frustrations, which is something that he should control. especially when he’s talking to you.
“por el amor de dios! are you serious? we’re still on about that?! get over it, muñeca. it’s not a big of a deal!” he exclaims, removing his shirt before throwing it away on the nearest chair of his room,
“not a big of a deal?!” your tone rising as you walk out of the bathroom to see him. “you let another girl felt you up, letting her get close to you and you said that it was nothing?! are you out of your mind!”
“veronica and i were just talking! am i not allowed to talk to other girls simply because i’m dating you? that’s quite ridiculous, baby” he chuckles but there’s no humor in it, almost like he’s mocking you. receiving a baffled look from you.
“stop putting words in my mouth, that’s not what i said! you missed the part where i said you were letting another girl touching you, when you already have a girlfriend!” you point at him, trying to get him to understand but it seems like it’s no use. seeing him only roll his eyes and dismissing your words with a wave of his hand. it furthers your already broken heart to more pieces,
“fucking immature little shit” you spit, going back to zip up your bag,
he laughs loudly at that, shaking his head. “look who’s talking!” he turns around to face you. “i can’t control the people that like me, sweetheart. what am i supposed to do with that?”
“you really are entitled and narcissistic” you laugh sadly, “maybe try setting up boundaries between people especially girls? ever thought of that?”
“ever thought about not being insecure and jealous all the time? may come off handy”
and that does it. the words just pierced right through your heart, making you stop your movements all together.
never thought in your life that miguel would be the one person to say all of that to you. is that how he views you as? a insecure girl?
is it wrong that you love your boyfriend so much that you want him all to himself and for him to learn how to listen to you?
“if that’s how you feel, then maybe we should just end it here” your eyes turning glossy, trying not to break down in front of him. “if you missed being flirted by other girls or flirting back to your flings, then i am not stopping you. so instead of making me feel like shit, calling me insecure, we should just see other people”
that’s not what miguel had expected you to say. his blood runs cold, face faltering at your suggestion because that is not what he wants. not at all.
hearing what he just said to you makes him want to crawl into a hole and let himself die. he didn’t mean it! he didn’t mean what he said, he’s just grown tired of this argument that he wanted nothing but to end it. yet instead of making you feel secured and listen to you, he chooses the latter.
holy fuck, o’hara what have you done?!
“wh—n-no! muñeca, I didn’t mean what i said, i did—“ he stutters, walking closer towards you only for you to step back. “baby please i wasn’t thinking—“
“exactly! you weren’t!” you yell, picking up your bag and getting ready to walk out of his room, the frat house and his life for good. “i’m giving you, your freedom card from now on”
this can’t be it, right? fuck, no, no, no
“you’re not leaving” he says while trailing you from behind, hands shaking at mind in scrambles at the thought of you walking out of him for good. “y/n please—please don’t leave me—i’m sorry—i—i cut off every girls on campus if you want me to, just stay—please” he tries to reach out to you but your pace is quicker while walking down the stairs, ignoring the looks from some of his frat brothers,
shaking your head, you try to ignore the pain in his voice. part of you wants to hug him and tell him that you won’t be going anywhere. but part of you realize that this time, you need to put yourself first. because as much as you love him, you love yourself more,
this is going to be painful.
“that’s not what i want you to do, i just— i can’t do this, miguel. at least not now” your head shaking, voice lowering to prevent the eavesdropping ears from the kitchen. “i—i need to think, for a while. competition is coming up and exams are too—everything is just so overwhelming. i think we need a break. i think you need a break”
“a break?! I don’t need a break. i need you” his voice cracking, tears welling up in his eyes as he gathers your hands quickly and pull them into his chest. “i love you, muñeca—please—i’m so sorry—i’ll do better i promise. just stay, por favor”
his eyes are pleading at you, staring intently into your eyes as his grip tighten around your smaller hands. for just one second, you almost cave in.
almost,
you smile sadly, “just give it a week or two, okay? and we’ll see after that”
but miguel doesn’t need a week or two. he doesn’t need to see after. he knows who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. he knows who he wants to marry. he knows who he wants to have his kids with.
and it’s always going to be you, no one else.
however looking at the state of you now, miguel has no right to force you to do anything. he cares too deeply about you,
so he complies,
“o-okay” he nods and agrees with a heavy heart. “if that’s what you want—i’ll give you space, but just know that you’re the only one that i want. the only girl i want to have by my side. keep that in mind, okay?”
a small smile appears on your lips, as you reach up in your tippy toes and give him a soft kiss on his cheek before you turn around and open the door. giving him one last look and walk out of the house, carrying his heart as you do.
miguel breathes out a shaky sigh, watching the door closes. his tears are rolling down his cheeks without him realizing.
without you here right now, what else is he supposed to do?
don’t worry, i’ll make these two make up :)) i just think that miguel needs to be humbled rn lmao
also, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated xx
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yumeka-sxf · 8 months
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My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 1
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I finished reading through my copy of the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." There's tons of fantastic information about the series, but I wanted to share my thoughts/commentary on parts that were the most interesting to me. Since there's so much content to cover, I'll be dividing it into a few different posts. Also, rather than go in the order of the book's sections, I decided to group the content based on topic. This first post will cover Endo's comments about the characters individually, as well as information about Garden.
Endo's Q&As and comments about the characters
Loid:
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I like that Endo provides a reason for why Loid wears a WISE logo pin as it's something more than one fan of the series has questioned! And I totally agree with Lin about his "lack of distinctive features." Compared to so many other anime characters, especially shonen main characters, Loid's design is so plain, particularly in his hair and clothes. At least in his spy outfit he has a gun to make him a little flashier, but when he's in his casual clothes, he literally just looks like "some guy," haha. But that also makes sense for his character.
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I love how Endo gave specific numbers for comparing Loid and Yor's strength (Yor: 10, Loid: 6-7)
Anya:
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I did notice what Endo is talking about how Anya's design changed over time. But that can be said for all the characters really, and it's definitely not uncommon for manga-ka's styles to evolve as they get a better feel for their characters and world.
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He mentions the classical language thing that was also brought up in chapter 42. Definitely makes me think that will somehow tie into her backstory.
Speaking of Anya's backstory, there was this little excerpt about the researchers at the lab. So one thing we can say for sure about her past is that she was not treated well there at all (which has been hinted at in the series).
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Endo also discussed the origin of Anya's pink hair (namely, there really isn't any origin, lol).
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Yor:
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Interesting that he spent the most time designing Yor, and also about the origin of her stilettoes. And his apology to the cosplayers for that bonus feature about Yor's hair, haha.
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I had to chuckle when he said they can't measure her strength because she keeps breaking the instruments! Also the fact that she hasn't learned how to make a single successful meal since the stew…Endo is such a savage sometimes, lol. But keep in mind that this book was originally published over a year ago, and obviously we know from recent chapters that her cooking is improving. I also like that he mentions that she has left witnesses to her work, like in Extra Mission 2. I wonder if that will be a bigger plot point somewhere down the line.
Like Anya having pink hair, Endo expresses some regret about making Yor an assassin (but his laugh makes it clear he's not terribly hung up about it!)
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Bond:
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I know some people are bothered by the fact that Yor is Bond's least favorite. But I think Bond's (initial) dislike for her originated from the chapter where he assumes he would have died from her cooking. Also the fact that Anya put the idea in his head that she would "murder" him if he did something she didn't like, like shun her food (which is obviously heavily exaggerated). But again, this book was published over a year ago, and the most recent chapter revealed that he definitely doesn't dislike her even if she's not his favorite. It's perfectly normal for pets to have family members they prefer over others for whatever reason.
Franky:
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I love that Franky does charity work. I hope we'll see that in a future chapter.
Fiona:
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It's interesting that he ranks Fiona's combat ability so low, especially when you consider what she did to Wheeler in the recent arc. But to me, that wasn't so much a display of combat prowess as it was totally raw, uninhibited willpower.
Yuri:
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I love his blunt answer about whether Yuri has other interests besides Yor. Also intriguing that he mentions Nightfall when discussing Yuri's combat ability…maybe those two will meet eventually?
Information about Garden
Since Garden is still such a mysterious entity in the SxF universe, I tried to gather everything about them that the book mentions.
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It's interesting that Yor sees Shopkeeper as her mentor since he taught her survival skills in her youth. The book also raises the question about how Yor found Garden in the first place…maybe something Endo will expand on in the future?
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So the information Franky gives us about Garden is exaggerated? Gah, that just makes them even more mysterious!
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The above was a cool bit of trivia...so it seems like the secret police might know more about Garden than WISE. Perhaps Yuri will find out about Yor's real identity before Twilight?
Continue to Part 2 ->
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sainamoonshine · 9 months
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Okay so I finally watched Good Omens season 2 and have tons of thoughts about it, especially how the minisodes and side-plots do so much work, thematically.
*slaps flashback segment on the roof* this bad boy contains so much subtext!!
And here’s my analysis about some of it:
The side plots are about at least three main themes that I can spot.
1. They are all, in some way, about resurrection. The children of Job. The Nazi Zombies. The resurrectionist. Miracles being rated on a scale of how many people they can bring back from the dead. Even Gabriel, in some way, arriving naked and without his memories and innocent as a babe, then finding himself again was a form of resurrection.
This, of course, has to do with foreshadowing season two, the one where the main plot point is going to be the second coming.
2. They were all about how much it’s a bad idea to mess with humans. All flashback minisodes either had someone die directly because Aziraphale and Crowley were around (Wee Morag, the guy at the magic shop), or almost die because Heaven and Hell said so (Job’s childrens). In present-day time, Aziraphale’s messing about with people during the ball is explicitely called out as creepy and wrong and Nina & Maggie have a talk with Crowley about it.
This leads to my theory that this is also going to be a major theme in the third season. We know that in the book, Adam explicitly tells heaven and hell to stop interfering. We also know that in the show, Aziraphale and to a smaller extend Crowley need to learn this lesson.
I also think that the resolution of the next season is probably going to involve Earth being marked definitely off limits to angels/demons, possibly via the same mechanism that makes the shop into a safe heaven you need to be invited in (and the same thing became true of the Bentley once Aziraphale claimed it! As pointed out here , Shax had to hitchhike to get in, instead of appearing inside as she did before). Earth needs to be claimed. I think that this will happen either by a combined miracle of incredible proportions from both Crowley and Aziraphale after they reunite, or (and this is my pet theory) by a combined miracle of incredible proportions by Adam and whoever is the new Jesus (I am a greasy Johnson truther lol). This would make Earth a place that you need to be invited in order to go there, and therefore safe haven for angels and demons who promise not to cause trouble.
3. All of the side plots and minisodes are about misdirection. Sleight of hand. Smoke and mirrors. Magic tricks. Showing one thing while something else is true.
This is shown obviously in the Job part and also in London 1941, with the party who is getting tricked being heaven and hell, respectively. Meanwhile, Gabriel and Beelzebub are trying to trick everyone. But who is tricked by the plot lines of Nina/Maggie, and Elspeth/Wee Morag?
We are. The audience is.
It has been pointed out here and here that Nina is meant to make us think she’s a parallel to Crowley when she is actually more of an Aziraphale thematically, and vice-versa.
But what about Elspeth and Wee Morag? We have one that robs graveyards, and one who tells her that is wrong and is worried about her eternal soul. That seems straightforward enough as a mirror to Crowley and Aziraphale, no? Well, let’s just look at what they’re doing and saying to each other, shall we?
“Don’t do this incredibly wrong and dangerous thing. It will have repercussions that you can’t even begin to understand right now.”
“I’m doing this for you! You deserve better than this life!”
“I don’t want the better life you’re offering. I would rather huddle with you here, homeless and poor but knowing you’re safe and that we’re together, than to know you alone out there doing horrible things you’ve convinced yourself you need to do.”
“I do need to do it. Trust me! This is going to fix everything! And if you don’t want me to be alone, then come with me. There! Problem solved!”
(Problem very much not solved.)
Doesn’t this sound, a tiny little bit, like a certain season finale to you guys? Elspeth was, in fact, Aziraphale all along. She thought she knew what was best, and she barrelled along without listening to anyone else, and then it went horribly wrong.
There is a reason why both times this season that we see Aziraphale fucking up someone else’s plan (the corpse to sell, Crowley’s contraband whiskey) because he initially reads it as a bad thing and thinks he’s doing good by destroying it, without having the full context, it backfires on him and then the situation has to be fixed. He needs to stop and understand things properly before taking actions. He needs, in short, to ask questions.
We see that the one time he did ask questions before acting was during the whole Job thing, and it worked out the best out of all the sub plots this season, right? … except that Aziraphale was convinced that he would Fall for his actions there. The way Crowley had fallen for asking questions.
And if the only person whose assessment of the situation matches Aziraphale’s is a demon, if the only one who is doing what he personally thinks is the Right Thing is a demon, then gosh… either that means that Aziraphale himself should therefore also be a demon, OR it means that Crowley shouldn’t be one, and this was all just one big misunderstanding, and maybe if I just speak to the manager…?
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kimjun · 6 months
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Package | Bat family x reader
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You never stopped to think about being a mother, you are young and it was too early to think. Well, until you meet Bruce Wayne. You met him by accident, really an accident, you ran him over with your bike and then you went out to get to know each other better.
After many meetings, the marriage proposal finally arrived. As said above, you didn't think about being a mother. But marrying Bruce Wayne came with a package.
The first package was Dick.
He was adorable, he was always around you, he bragged to everyone that he had an incredibly beautiful mother. Mom, it was a surprise when you heard that word addressed to you.
It was a Friday, you went to pick Dick up from school because Alfred was on vacation, so you went to Dick's school. You were at the gate waiting, while sending some messages to friends and Bruce, little Dick approaches along with three boys.
—I told you she was beautiful. - Dick points at you, then crosses his arms.
—Wow.- one of the boys says.
—Stop drooling over my mother. –Dick speaks naturally as he gets into the car.
On the other hand, you become paralyzed trying to absorb the new information. When you finally get in the car, Dick hands you a drawing, it's him, you and Bruce.
—You can throw it away if you want. - Dick says, putting on his belt.
You've had this drawing saved for over fifteen years. A memory of the first time you became a mother.
—It's very beautiful, my love, thank you very much.
—Is it okay if I call you mom?
—You are my son, obviously you should call me mother.
Dick is a mama's boy, even at twenty-two he still runs into her arms.
The second package was Jason.
You were already in your pajamas, the calm rain turned into a storm and Bruce was already on his way back. You just didn't expect Bruce Wayne to show up with a boy cowering from the cold.
—Honey.- Bruce looked completely embarrassed. —This is Jason.
The boy looked at you, his beautiful eyes made you sigh with love for your newest baby.
-I am __.
It was a complicated relationship at first, in fact Jason only let you get close to him. He spent time with you at the library, you created a book club that was just the two of you.
It was a trusting relationship, when Jason had nightmares you would always be with him.
—It's okay, love, I'm here.
Jason started calling you mom because Dick did that.
—Are you my mother too? - Jason asked with his mouth covered in chocolate.
—Of course, right, - replies Dick. — If you're my brother, idiot.
He starts calling you mom. And you love the fact that you have two boys. Jason is also a mama's boy. When you learned of Jason's death the world stopped, you fell into a deep depression that you had to hide because Bruce Wayne brought a surprise.
The third package was Tim.
It was a little difficult, it wasn't Tim's fault, you love him, but he came so quickly that you haven't accepted Jason's death yet. The pain is horrible. But Tim needed love and you tried.
Tim heard you lost a son and it was still hard. He saw you crying several times, even though you hid to not show how fragile you are. Then one day, Tim came into the room where you were crying. He climbed onto the bed and hugged you.
—I'm sorry, I didn't want you to feel this pain, mom. - Tim was hugging you.
-Oh my love.
You were healing, Tim was there to help you, he knew you were broken.
-Mother?
-what?
—Nothing, it's cool to call you that.
—How about making cookies? - you smile.
—And coffee?
—You are prohibited from drinking coffee.
Tim is a mama's baby, he's always by your side when you need him, you take care of him with so much love that he just wants to reciprocate.
It is Tim who breaks the news that Jason is alive.
Bruce Wayne doesn't know when to stop and you don't really care.
The fourth package was Damian.
—Are you saying you have a child with another woman?
You need time to understand the situation, when Bruce explains it you still get suspicious. A new kid in the mansion. Harder than Jason as a teenager.
—Damian, it's going to rain, take an umbrella. - you say.
Damian looks at you.
—You're not my mother, you don't command me. - he leaves in a huff, taking the umbrella.
A new member of the book club, Jason was reluctant before accepting that Damian could join the club.
You noticed Damian was slowly approaching. If you are in the kitchen, he will come up to you and ask what you are doing. If you leave, he asks if he can come along. At the market he pushes the cart for you.
-Can I have this? - Damian points to some chocolates. He sighs remembering what Thalia told him.
You pass Damian picking up several bars.
—Yes, you can, my love.
Damian never complained about you calling him baby, living by your side is peaceful because you are a different person than his mother.
Damian wrote you a letter, actually a note.
YOU WANT TO BE MINE MOTHER?
Yes ( ) or no ( )
You thought it was so cute, you squeezed Damian saying yes, you accepted being his mother.
Damian is mommy's little baby to this day, he will always come to you looking for mommy's hugs and kisses.
Bruce Wayne is a big surprise, you love him, you love his children but every time you leave you fear that he will return with another child.
—I love you, but please try to have control, we have too many children. - you laugh.
—I think it's over, don't worry.
-He is sure?
—I think so, I'm going to stop adopting for a bit.
—You need therapy. - you laugh kissing your husband.
—We should have a baby of our own. - Bruce grumbles. You laugh, getting up from the couch.
—We already have too many children. - you scream running to the kitchen.
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Bau x reader , where the reader is in an abusive relationship
Warnings: abusive relationship , blood , slightly yandere bau , gn reader , could be perceived as a poly bau
Summary: you are in an abusive relationship and when you call Hotch crying , they all rush to your side
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The people in this team are smart and their job is literally to be observing
They obviously notice your change of behavior the moment you step out of the elevator the day you had met him/her
The energy you gave of , the way you talked and even your choice of clothes made them assume you had met someone. They totally DIDNT feel jealous at all
But you seemed happy and they had no control over you
Penelope was the one to ask and learn about the charming kind man you just met.
So the was the one who informed the others
She stalked all of his accounts and pulled out his criminal records (that were clean) his financial state and everything about him
Not even two weeks after you entered the building with a new air on you
You were shining in happiness
Everyone could feel It and everyone knew
Morgan definitely did not do an extra harsh box training that evening with Enily
And Spencer obviously did not complain to Hotch about it all day
And hotch certainly didn't almost tear apart a book in frustation
Also Penelope did not cry on JJ s shoulder and neither did the opposite happen
Then , one day exactly one month later you were gloomy
The team almost held an interrogation to find out why
Turns out your boyfriend and you had just had a super intense fight that ended up in yelling
They were quick to offer you to spent the night with one of them
Or they could book a hotel room for you
You declined saying you need to solve this out
This went on for a long of time
The weather became worst day by day and you were the first one on the team to wear a long sleeved shirt
They didn't think much of it
Your mood was drastically changing , your once bubbly and happy personality disappearing
They were all extremely worried but they didn't know what could have caused it
' Do you think it's that boyfriend of theirs?'
Morgan asked once . They all appeared worried at the thought
JJ was sent to ask you about your relationship but you quite convincingly talked in excitement and contempt about it
They were obviously worried sick ,but could do nothing about it , since they had no idea what the problem was
When they were all out together , Hotch received a call by you
You were crying and stuttering your words
' Hotch' you breathed out
' y/n? Where are you?what has happened?'
He asked and all the others gazes fell on him , their faces twisting in confusion
' I -uhhh I am on my apartment. He has left but I'm hurting a lot. Please come help'
You had said. Calling Hotch was a conscious decision since he was definitely a safe person to you and the whole team.
While Morgan could beat someone up easier and Emily was a very violent person when needed , Aaron just had this energy that he gave off.
He could protect you and you knew it
They all hoped In two cars and were to your in no time.
You were lying on the floor sobbing , with blood around you
Spencer was the one to check up on you , covering your wounds
While JJ called the police
Morgan along with Penelope were frozen on the doorway
And Aaron was right by your side pushing your hair out of your face and whispering in your ear
You were badly hurt
The paramedics arrived and Spencer rode the ambulance with you.
Penelope and Aaron followed with their car while the other three remained on your apartment
They decided to clean it up, JJ bringing the chemicals to remove the blood , while Morgan angrily scrubbed the floor
' How could he? '
Whispered Emily enraged
Then they heard keys on the door
' Honey I am so sorry for what happened, but look I brought you flo-'
A man entered the apartment and appeared shocked to find your colleagues there
Morgan had risen up staring at the man with deep hatred in his eyes
Let's say that the man returned to his house with a lot of bruises , a bunch of threats and two days later his computer caught a virus
You were in the hospital, getting better
Penelope was in the chair besides your bed working something on her computer
Once you were woken up and not high, you received a lot of hugs and sweet words
When you could finally return home they all sat you down . You knew this conversation was coming
' We want you to feel comfortable telling us about things that are going wrong in your life '
Hotch had said his voice and characteristics unnaturally soft.
' Why didn't you tell us?'
JJ wondered and you had no acceptable answer
The day ended in a lot of tears and hugs.
You quickly returned to your workplace where you were greeted with a cake that had wobbly written on it ' welcome back'
Thay would always remind you to be careful in the field for at least a month.
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wintersera · 6 months
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study date? || futa!wonyoung x f!reader
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notes: first time ever writing futa and i feel like a hentai loving freak for doing so- anyways “hermaphrodite” futanari especially refers to pornographic characters in erotic manga or anime, known as hentai. basically wy has a pussy and a dick 😭 also happy belated birthday @wonysugar this was for u
cw: futanari, sub!wonyoung, dom!reader, dacryphilia, strap on (i say cock as well), overstimulation if you squint, praise(?), 100% not proofread leave me alone 😭
wc: 5k
“you know you’re about to be kicked off campus if you don’t pass right?”
“what…”
your teacher had summoned you a mere 5 minutes ago to drop the most devastating news you had ever heard in your half assed school life. obviously you knew your grades weren’t the best- they were shit.
you had joined the university to get away from your annoying ass parents, and you were very VERY lucky to have been accepted into such a prestigious one, a university that would make your parents proud. only skimming the entry requirements by a passing grade.
anyways, you couldn’t have the risk of losing the good friends you had made, so you started thinking... if you were to study hard you could stay, maybe fuck around at parties and whatnot, but then again you and studying don’t go hand in hand, unfortunately. even if you tried to sit down in the lecture hall with a notebook and your laptop on the side you’d most likely forget the content in as soon as you step out.
groaning in frustration, you throw your hands up into the air dramatically “ughhhh… okay, i’ll make it up to you somehow. please don't kick me out just yet”
stumbling into your next class like the dramatic person you are, you mumble under your breath with a displeased look on your face obviously shown by furrowed brows and your persistent frown.
“fuck this class, this is so shitttt” uttering as you take your note book from out of your bag to scribble down some barely readable half assed notes, since your teacher was rambling about some topic you didn’t quite grasp.
it was extremely obvious that you had no clue on what was being taught. instead of embarrassing yourself in front of the whole entire class by extending your arm up in the air, it was only natural for you to ask the person next to you for help. the girl next to you was known as the most intelligent person in the class, maybe the most intelligent person on campus if you say so yourself.
“…hey” whispering while poking her shoulder “what exactly are we learning?” the girl carefully placed down her pen to turn her head in your direction, her hair doing that cliche slow motion sway as she adjusts her glasses, making sure that it was tucked behind her ears. it took her a while to speak up, maybe it was nerves. people often depicted you as an outgoing ‘popular’ person, but you didn’t believe that at all- i mean who uses school hierarchy at your big age. sure, you have a couple of close friends here and there and you easily become acquainted with people, yet that doesn’t really make you popular… you think. just a few drinks and you’re already chatting to everyone at the club.. you wouldn’t call that being popular, right? or maybe she was repulsed by you instead, you dont know why, but maybe she just didn’t fuck with your vibes- your personalities clashed severely, and although you weren’t a believer of those cliche stereotypes where the nerd is absolutely terrified of the avid partygoer- those cliches almost felt too real.
her eyes widened and it seemed like all the blood had rushed up to her cheeks as she stared at your face for a few seconds, completely forgetting what you had asked her before “uh.. um… what did you ask me again?” by her body language alone, you could sense that she was tensing up. okay maybe you were a little bit intimidating, who wouldn’t think you were by the way you waltzed into the lecture hall all dramatic like that.
“i’ve been behind on everything and i’m about to get kicked out so could you maybe help… please?”
“um- well, it’s kinda impossible to learn all the content in one sitting, since our professor kinda just talks for hours on end. so… uh if you’re okay with it, do you wanna do a little studying together?”
“yes?! oh my god perfect, you’re a lifesaver. just say where and i’ll be over” immediately accepting the offer just like that. you’d think that she would be more timid considering that she was literally paralysed when you poked her, but luckily enough, she had the balls to speak to you. god bless confident ass nerds.
being too enthusiastic about studying with her, she was a little bit caught off guard by the way you beamed “w-we could do it after class. i’m not busy and no ones gonna be in my dorm today apparently…” you thought about it. even though you were fine with studying at a local cafe, or the university library, a change of environment could possibly help you “that’s if you want to of course” fiddling with her pen as she softly added the last sentence.
“sure, why not. a change of environment wouldn’t hurt- and plus i might study better with someone as smart and cute as you”
“h-huh? what?”
you felt a little pang in your heart, her confused face made your pulse race a little too fast for your liking “ah… i didn’t mean that in a flirtatious way” sureeee “i meant it more like- you know what… i'm digging myself a hole. i meant you’re very very smart and i’d love for you to help me study” flashing her a quick smile.
“uh- um yeah.. ahaha. so my place is fine?”
“sure”
after another painful hour of sitting impatiently in your seat, class finally ended with you still not understanding a single thing that came out of your professor's mouth.
“i have no idea what she was yapping about”
“it’s because you sleep at the back sometimes. you better stop taking naps or else she’s gonna kick you out for real”
“…you pay attention to me sleeping in class?” interrogating her seemed fun. she was always so quick to answer your questions with a funny flustered response. something along the lines of stuttering profusely everytime you ask her a simple question. it was like you knew her for a while, being so comfortable in her presence that you can easily toss banter around.
“NO- i mean.. it’s because you sleep so soundly and so obviously, probably because you’re partying almost every night, r-right?”
“you’re so cute when you stutter- also yes i do go out a lot but not that much” teasing her a bit more as you walk out of the lecture hall “so where’s your dorm at pretty girl?”
“oh! uh.. it’s just a 10 minute walk away”
you called her a pretty girl? out of nowhere? it was involuntary but it came out smoothly and without you thinking, plus it really messed with her head. score. what you failed to realise is that she walked a little funny, shuffling as she walked beside you. the tent in her pants being so obviously apparent that she covered it up with her bag, that was thankfully big enough.
that 10 minute walk to hers felt oddly familiar, until you realised that you lived in the same accommodation. what a shocker.
what's even more funnier is that she lived one floor above you
“wonyoung”
“y-yes?” she jumped in place as she reached for her keys in her bag, the keys almost falling out of her hands.
“it’s kind of funny how i live right below you” giggling about how silly you thought it was “how come i’ve never seen you around?”
“hmmm… too busy studying i guess”
“ah, that would make sense. anyways why are you just standing at the door, are we gonna go in or nah”
you waited as she lowkey struggled to insert the key into the door. watching her closely as she curses under her breath, she must’ve thought that she looked like a complete and utter loser. she was right. she was a mess in front of you-
“take your time babe”
“s-stop don’t call me that. you’re gonna make me mess up again” panicking as she missed the key hole.
the door finally opened and you were in. her room was, well, basically the same size as yours of course, but it was definitely much more organised in contrast to your hell hole of a room “god damn, i’m glad you didn’t offer to go to mine”
as you sat down on her bed, you scanned across her walls and other stuff, taking note of what types of posters she had on her wall just in case you felt generous one day and decided to give her a gift. not like you had any money for that though. it wasn’t surprising when you glanced over her desk to see a couple of shoujo anime figures still fresh in the box “hah wow you really are nerdy”
“s-shut up and come sit here”
“alright so that’s how you finish off this part… are you okay… you look out of it” she questions you while you slide down her conveniently placed extra chair that was placed right next to her.
“that felt like a fuck ton of cars just crashed simultaneously into my brain. wonyoung i know you’re smart, but can you dumb down the explanations plea-” you pause as she got up from her seat- your jaw swung wide open in shock laying your eyes upon something you guess wasn’t meant to be seen.
“how about we take little break. let me get you some.. um y/n? helloooo- are you good? is your brain fried?”
yeah it was. your focus was shifted onto something else. no thoughts, no words just..
cock?
you responded to her question with a nod- yeah yeah your brain was definitely fried, you even questioned if it was because the studying REALLY did fuck your head up, but my god it was as clear as day. the print in her pants was certainly real, there was no way that it was fake. her bulge being so unrealistically big that it looked like her pants were restricting all the space in there- no room for her cock to breathe at all.
“i… i uh- i don’t wanna be a creep or anything but… wonyoung i think you might have an issue down there”
“down where?” HOW did she not realise that she had a massive hard on right in front of you.
luckily she was cute, and thankfully you had a huge thing for nerds like her. you take a deep breath- praying to the skies that she doesn’t find you weird for asking this specific question.
“need help?” you breathe shakily, the sight of her cock begging for it to be released from her tight pants made you almost drool. heat spread to your face while she looked at you confused for a second until it hit her.
“ah, you meant t-that? aha i don't know how it got there um uh.. it’s definitely not because- i mean it’s like… well it seems like i have a hard on ahaha” there was an awkward silence that washed over the both of you.
“i- sorry i didn't mean to get turned on by you” shyly admitting whilst attempting to cover her hard on with her note book.
“oh, so i turned you on?” a smirk slowly appearing on your flushed face, a teasing hand brushed her cock ever so slightly as you crossed your legs.
“fuck… y-yeah you did.. sorry” she began to lose her balance as you cupped your hand around her bulge.
“no need to apologise” once again, silent washes over you- collecting your thoughts on how to approach her again “…wonyoung”
“mhm?”
“take your pants off for me” you eyed her down like a predatory animal, crossing your arms as she slowly takes her pants, then her boxers off. her cock sprung out and hit her stomach with a thud. damn, she was hung-
telling a cute girl to strip in her own dorm room wasn’t really on your to do list today, or at all, but here you were. the cute girl in question having a massive cock and what seems to be the lack of balls.
wait pause? she doesn’t have any balls? interesting- now you’re equally intrigued and horny.
“sit down on the bed for me cutie” the sudden use of a pet name made her whine aloud. you guess she was weak towards those types of words- adorable. she sat down on her bed, legs shut from embarrassment “awww” you coo at her “how cute. come on, spread your legs for me baby”
“mmm.. wait wait you’re gonna be weirded out. i-i don’t think we shouldn’t do this”
“there’s nothing to be ashamed of. be proud of your dick wonyoung, people would die to have a cock this size” lifting yourself outta the chair to kneel in front of her “nowww, i did say i was gonna help- i promise i won’t be weirded out”
even though her dick was out, and you were so ready to suck it off. clearly nervous, you placed a reassuring hand on her thigh “it’s not like i’ve never seen a dick before- you’ll be fine with me, promise”
“it really isn’t about my dick. it’s more about the um… the… okay i don't have balls”
“huh?” you sat there perplexed- she has what? what do you mean she has no balls “n…none at all? well it’s not like i care anyway, dick is dick”
“okay so um- instead it’s just… actually just look for yourself” no words could explain how embarrassed wonyoung felt, her cheeks heated up- actually no, her whole entire face lit on fire. slowly spreading her legs apart, she revealed her sopping wet cunt.
yeah whatever, you weren’t opposed to the idea of nerd girl jang wonyoung having a massive fucking cock and a pretty tight pussy at the same time- more so, it turned you on severely knowing the nasty things you could do to her “you don’t need to worry about it baby, i’ll make you feel so good that you’ll forget about being embarrassed” you say after licking a strip up from the base of her cock to the very tip
“ah.. mhm… your tongue- warm” hands extending to grab your head gently, her long fingers tangling themselves in your messily tied hair.
“first time?” looking up from in between her legs. surprisingly, she shook her head with the bite of her lip “not a virgin? okay so i can do this” swooping one strand of hair to the back of your ears, you make haste, your mouth opening wide as you let her cock slide into your mouth, and a little into your throat.
“hngh s..so deep, sorry i lied ah- i am a virgin” it makes you giddy on how she always gave such honest answers, not a single drop in this woman's body could lie. even through pleasure she was true, her hips jolting upwards and never shying whenever you did something she enjoyed. you played with her tip, attentively listening to her whines gradually increasing in volume. for funsies, you then ease one finger into her needy pussy, her head thrown back- rolling her hips shamelessly.
releasing her cock from your mouth and resting your face next to it “feeling good?” you ask, just to make sure she’s actually good. she doesn’t answer, well she does, but in a series of whimpers and squeals. her response confirmed it for you, she felt more than good.
your pulse quickened, her once tense body relaxed under your control. to be an extra tease, you flashed her a cheeky smile before you take her cock back in your mouth. she gasps again, you watching her face contort; brows furrowing, biting her lip, her eyes occasionally rolling back as you curl your fingers inside- stretching her pussy by adding a second finger just so you can see her mouth fall open.
wonyoung felt like she was crumbling over the edge with your fingers pumping in and out of her hole without any breaks, and your tongue working magic around her throbbing cock. soon enough her legs were wide open for you and in return you giggled a little. an unknown feeling building at the pit of her stomach freaked her out yet it was oddly welcomed. you knew by the way her thighs trembled that she was close to finishing.
she couldn’t help but call out your name. she really tried her best to take her cock out of mouth while she came, but you refused to move even an inch, letting her load paint your throat white as you gulp down every last drop of it. you still kept fingering her until she couldn’t take it anymore, wriggling herself out of your hold and flopping onto the bed “that… felt… too good. i-i think i need to.. catch my breath” she says while blankly staring at the ceiling.
even in a situation like this you found her endearing, unlike the many hookups you’ve had where you’d leave after a good fuck. she was different from rest; a hidden gem “sorry i got carried away, you’re too cute wonyoung” like that her dick sprung back up “really, just by me calling you cute your cock is back up?”
“it has a mind of its own, leave it be” you giggle at her silly antics. with zero hesitation, you pull off your flimsy shirt exposing your bare skin to the air. it’s a little cold
still on the bed lying down, her eyes closed, you straddle over her hips “can we do it again, i didn’t get off. or maybe no… you know i don’t mind, i just wanted to see you flustered, and of course feel good”
she sprang up- which, to be honest, caught you off guard. huffing into the crook of your neck, peppering ticklish kisses alongside. there was a minor look of desperation on her face that you weren’t familiar with when it came to her. you’d usually see her around campus all calm and collected, looking so poised and shit and yet here she was, crumbling over a simple comment you made about her and her dick.
she switched between light pecks to open mouthed kisses, definitely leaving obvious bruises all over “you’re.. so.. pretty… wanna-”
“yeah? you want that dont you baby. wanna fuck my pussy don’t you” poor girl was flustered at your words. her lips grazed your neck again and whimpered as she kissed your jaw.
“yes please” your stomach twisted. so so cute begging to fuck your pussy. you complied, quickly discarding your underwear and tossing it somewhere. a hand took her shoulder, stabling yourself as you gradually let yourself sink onto her cock.
“hnggh… fuck. wonyoung you’re so? haaa- you’re really big” you felt a little lightheaded after fitting the entire length of her inside. you weren’t expecting her to reach that deep into you, maybe to the point of you losing yourself all over her dick. it was insane to you how much you could take. really really insane how she was able to stretch your pussy out so much to the point of your eyes rolling back.
fuck, why was she that big? you started tearing up and she wasn’t even moving “won… wonyoung, please i need you to start doing something” i think you might’ve driven her past processing because tell me why she wasn’t listening at all. she could be pussy drunk for all you care, actually no she was one hundred percent drunk off of your pussy. you were wet beyond comprehension, and the feeling of your walls clenching down on her cock made her moan so loud. thank god her flatmates weren’t because if they were, they’d hear the most filthiest things through the thin ass walls.
you gave her some time to adjust herself accordingly, waiting… for… quite a long time. it really looked like she was basking in the heat of your cunt and you honestly you thought that was quite endearing, but fuck, you needed her to ram into you or at least move around. she still hasn't done that still… good lord she was gone. so taking the situation into your own hands, you lifted yourself off of her hips just a tiny bit and harshly slammed down, both of you moaning at the overwhelming feeling “ah- fuck? wait wait..” you couldn’t wait any longer, you needed to be fucked crazy.
“mhm, just- just stay still like that. let me do what i need to do” you bounced once more, watching as wonyoung threw her head backwards, her mouth agape and everything.
even though you were mid fuck, wonyoungs glasses were still on. she needed to take them off for some reason, but you didn’t let her “hey don’t- keep those glasses on, you look so… mgh.. you look so fucking good” saying all of that while you increasingly sped up. now your thighs began to ache, worth it though. with each time her cock pumped inside, the closer you felt towards coming.
shit, you felt it so much, it was much stronger than usual and you felt like you were about to explode.
“come- fuck. wonyoung baby, are you close too?”
she nodded weakly. she was about to come again after the last- and so quickly too. her head was spinning, her thighs clenched, snapping back up to wrap her arms around your torso to keep you still; and to keep you close “close.. gonna…”
“me too… me too. keep- oh my god” your movements became frantic. then, not so shortly after, wonyoung lets out a long lasting moan. a mind breaking orgasm hits her so hard, her mind blanking out yet again while her thick semen fills you up. you followed straight after, your hand gripping her shoulder tightly until your knuckles turned white. a harsh groan reverberating inside of wonyoungs head as you moan straight into her ear.
awkward and weird as it may sound, but you immediately thought about hmmm… strap. you really wanted to try it. the thought of her with her ass high up in the air, with you dicking her down and jacking her off seemed something almost so pornographic and unrealistic that it excited you beyond comprehension.
why not give her the chance to cum all over you, and then get severely embarrassed about it. something about her just made you want to tease her until she’s crying. well that did sound like an appealing thing to do.
wonyoung laid down again. out of breath “made me… come again… i’m so…”
“cute… haa.. you’re really cute” you were equally as spent as she was but you HAD to try pounding her pussy. sure, your legs weren’t able to support you standing back up, after all you did use them to fuck yourself on her, but you were UP “can i go back to my room real quick? i’ll be back, it’s a pleasant surprise, i promise”
“uh, sure?” she was confused as to why you grabbed your pants and her shirt that she took off to then sprint outside of her room. quite strange don't you think? well whatever.
you hurried to your door, searching for your keys in your back pocket “come on- come onnnn” your thighs were so sore but you had to get that damn pink strap out of your closet. it was a need to fuck her perfect pussy.
there it was in its glory, a small rectangular box that concealed your strap. alright, time to speed back up the stairs.
i guess she wasn’t even bothered to check who it was, but she immediately opened the door as soon as she heard you knock once “hey i’m back, i got you a present” you heaved as you legitimately ran up a flight of stairs not too long ago.
“a present for me?” i mean she was bewildered, you had a box in your arms. no decoration, just a plain ass box.
“yeah- fuck, let me catch my breath… okay yes i know it doesn’t look like all that, but look-“ you opened the box to reveal your unused strap on “can i use it on you?”
you cannot stress this enough, but wonyoung’s face was violently red again. given the fact that you had made her cum twice and she was still this flustered about it had you drooling at the thought of making her a mess all over again.
“y/n do you think that can fit… in me?”
“we can try. i know your pretty pussy can take me whole” and with that she was soaked again. she felt that and got hard once more.
“g-get inside, you’re in the doorway”
“oh shit yeah okay”
wonyoung fell on top of her bed, cushions and blankets were still messed up. you closed the door behind you and opened up the box, a whole eight inches just for wonyoungs pussy “it’s so cute how you’re still soaked, were you thinking about me while i was gone?”
“it was five minutes… yeah, i was thinking about you” hiding her face behind her hands.
“aww cute, lean on your hands and knees for me babe”
“o-okay” she responded obediently to your words. wonyoung got onto her hands and knees and waited patiently for your next order. her back looked way too pretty, so you got up onto the bed, planted a kiss on her lower back making her twitch in response and cooed
“aww still so sensitive?” she didn’t realise it before, but you were behind her with your strap already fitted on you. she unintentionally arched her back, feeling your presence already there “god, you’re so desperate for me aren’t you?”
“please… just- i’m ready. just hurry up and take me” you giggle as you acknowledged her insatiable craving for your cock.
“you’re dripping.. and you’re so hard, tell me how much you want it” telling her just to be a tease “beg for it”
“…please…” her voice low, almost a whisper.
“good girl” you slowly buried yourself inside her cunt, letting her familiarise herself with the new sensation. her hands gripped the sheets tightly, a fist full of cloth was keeping her from losing her control.
“oh my go- so… fuck” she cried out your name a couple of times before spilling out incoherent sentences. something like “good, so good” and a few more unintelligible words followed with high pitched moans.
a girl this cute and needy deserved more than just this. you slowly paced your thrusting, making sure that she felt comfortable, and by also not shoving the entire strap inside of her. all though you wanted to go rough and abuse her tight hole, that was for another day or maybe even in a couple of seconds actually.
“you good?”
“nnghh- s… so good” she couldn’t even form sentences. there was no need to even ask. her body alone showed how much she yearned for your touch.
oh so now you needed to fuck her till she’s dumb. what happened to that little smart brain of hers? so spent out on being fucked till she’s dry made her behave like she’s out of her mind. you started thrusting your strap in even deeper, hoping that she can take the full thing. she did. with how wet she was, it wasn’t surprising that it slid in so easily. a choked moan coming straight from her mouth as soon as you finished pushing it all in “you’re taking me in so well. i knew you could do it babe”
it was like you didn't think but you started to pump in and out of her faster and harder. each guttural moan that came out of that pretty mouth of hers, the faster you went. the more ruthless you got. oh how hard you were going, giving wonyoung no time to settle. the sounds her pussy made were nothing but filthy, the sweet sounds of her squelching pussy was like music to your ears. she loved every single thing you did to her body, although she couldn’t express it through her words.
you grabbed her hips, moving them and slamming them straight back into your cock just to make her scream out your name “you like that? want me to pound into your pretty pussy like that again?” there was a slightly mean tone to your voice.
“mhmmm… again- do it again” she begged and cried for more.
this time you pulled straight out, leaving her whining until you slammed right back into her again, but this time with a twist. you leaned over wonyoung a little, resting almost on top of her back. you slithered your hand across and grabbed her cock, teasing the tip a little before snapping your hips that made her ass push into you. she sharply inhaled as you played with her cock, moving from her sensitive tip to stroking her length gently while you ravaged her insides
“too- too much.. feels so.. haaa… mmmmm” two sensations blending into one could be described as too overwhelming and extremely overstimulating. being fucked dumb made her sob a little, feeling as if her insides were about to collapse, and feeling as if her dick was about to erupt.
shit, it felt way too good.
her entire body convulsed, her hands were balled into a fist, clutching onto the sheets desperately, she screamed profanities into her pillow. her orgasm hit her harder than it did the other two times. you could say it even made her almost pass out. poor girl was seeing stars as you kept stroking her cock to help her ride out her climax. you never knew she could scream that loud… or even cum this much. beds being completely drenched with both her juices and her cum. you’d have to help her clean up for sure…
“stop- stop.. oh god… mmm oh my god”
and maybe you could do this again. another study date.
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