Going to attempt to find a suit jacket in one day (teenage boy size because I am wee)

arabella pt 1

masterlist

you meet alex turner on a night out with life long friends matty george ross and adam. what happens when the night digresses?

warnings: not too sure i think slight mention of drugs, food if I’ve missed anything off please let me know and I will add them in

"Cmon Y/N" Matty states blaring through my phone speaker, while pulling it away from my ear because of how loudly he's speaking

"No I simply won't" I said back in the same tone and loudness replying to my best friend "look Matty we've been out every night this week I simply can't, because A) i don't have the funds B) I'm turning into a little alcoholic because of you, personally I think I'm being somewhat reasonable. Look if you want to go out with everyone, go ahead, stink I won't stop you but don't drag me along."

At the current moment I hate Matty. Why you may ask? Matty was trying to get me to go out to drink with him. Don't get me wrong I love him, we love each other, but sometimes he is so awfully annoying:  right now he's trying to get me to come out, I stand my ground and somehow, somehow he always wins me over I don't understand why? but I don't mind him for it because we always have the most fun

"loooooook if you're so worried about money i'll buy you all your drinks, and so what who cares if you're turning into a little alcoholic because of me we're young we've got our whole lives ahead of us. just come out for one drink please besides George Adam and Ross all want you there. don't you guys"

a whole chorus of yeahs was heard on the other end of the phone he convinced me, I swear that boy had me wrapped around his finger. "Matty I hate you" "awwh come on you love me" "You're right I do. Catch you in 30 come pick me up yeah?" "Of course i always do, love you" "love you too" I replied and quickly hung up the phone.

30 minutes later, I was suited and booted clad in a leather coat, my snakeskin boots. My hands littered with rings and of course my red lipstick. Beeping of a car horn was soon heard outside of my flat, signalling Matty was here. I shut all of the lights off, making sure Arabella's food bowl was filled, I gave her a stroke and left my flat. Heading downstairs I saw Matty in his convertible; George Ross and Adam missing though.

"There's the lead singer of the 1975 but where's the rest of them" I say placing my hand above my eyes pretending to search for them. Matty chuckled and replied with a simple "at the club already, come on bug" I hopped in and we soon sped to the club. Turning on the radio, I soon noticed that sex was playing  "Oh my god! Matty your first radio play. I'm so happy for you!" I exclaimed giving him a side hug. "Thanks love! this is so cool wait till the boys hear about this" Matty said in reply turning his head for a split second to smile at me "I'm turning it up!" I simply said in return .

Both Singing along pulling up to the club as the songs finishing  "THEY'VE ALL GOT BACKCOMBS ANYWAY THEY ALL GOT BOYFRIENDS ANYWAY". Laughing and singing along I was happy in my own world until Matty opened the door for me bringing me back to reality "you comin' bug?" "course I am stink!"I stated back.

We were making our way to the back of the line before the bouncer stopped us.  "OI!" his yelling shocked Matty and I before we turned though Matty whispered to me "don't worry I've got this, bug" uh huh sure you have tough guy I didn't dare say it out loud though, it would just start another one of our silly bickering's.

Turning to the bouncer "yeah? what's up?" "ahh sorry didn't mean to scare you there lad, just wanted to ask if you were from that band what are they called? the 1957?" I chuckled to myself before correcting him "you mean the 1975?" "yes that's the one!" "yeah he is." "ahh nice one my daughters a massive fan can I get an autograph and a photo she wouldn't believe me if I didn't have a picture you see?" Matty turned to me looking at me as if to say "is it okay?" I mouthed "course it is" and smiled.

After pleasantries were made, the bouncer let us in skipping  the queue of course because the bouncer said "it'd be rude not to" and that his daughter would "kill me if I didn't let you in"  and Matty headed straight for the bar while I went out to seek the rest of our friends. Of course, they were in a corner sipping on their drinks where they usually are. Going to join them I shouted at them in a joking manner "You boring fucks. G I would've at least expected you to be out on the dance floor by now, Hann and Ross I understand you, G I'm very disappointed "

They just all nodded their heads at me,knowing I was joking, "ya alright Y/N/N? Where's Matty? where there's one of you the other one is never too far behind" George asked me "I'm dandy G. and Matty is at the bar getting us drinks. when he comes and joins us  will you  dance with me?" I ask him. Getting a shrug as a reply so I follow it  up with  "I came out to have fun. Not mope around in a corner all night just drinking" "OI IM HAVING FUN" Ross shouting back at me "Ross you're literally bopping your head shut up" Matty shouted back handing me my rum and coke "here you go love. Get that truth serum in you" you just laughed at him sipping on it through a straw. "come dance with me Matty these lot are being boring." "Of course I'll come dance with you bug! this song seems very fitting though"

with Dizzee rascals dance wiv me was blaring through the speakers of the club. matty and I ran down the stairs heading to the dance floor dancing with each other. "THATS WHY IM ASKING B! SO LETS PARTY B COME AND DANCE WIV ME" we shouted at each other.

After some time both our drinks were finished so I headed to the bar to get some more Matty giving me his card to get some more. "hiya love what can I get you?" the bartender shouted at me over the music "one rum and coke and one red wine bottle please" I replied "of course i'll get them sorted and i'll come back in two secs" "thank you" i replied as he was walking off.

While waiting for the bartender to come back to my drink I look around for Matty and the others: Matty was dancing with George (rude if you ask me!) Ross was still sitting at our table booping along to the songs, and Adam was in the corner necking off with some girl, good for him he deserves some action. He's been upset a lot ever since his girlfriend broke up with him a few weeks ago, turns out all he needed was a night out with us.

The bartender soon came back with our drinks, tapping Matty's card i thanked the bartender again and walked off with our drinks, joining Ross at the table. All of a sudden there was a silence followed soon by excited cheers were heard throughout the club. "What's going on?" I asked Ross nodding my head to where the commotion was happening on the dance floor. "Some indie band performing tonight. think they're quite big won't lie. not too sure though" Ross said in reply to my question.

All of a sudden, the opening chords of you look good on the dance floor were heard and I immediately screamed. "OMG! ROSS ITS THE ARCTIC MONKEYS WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING!!" "I didn't realise you liked em y/n/n" replying to my shouting in a calm manner "like em? I LOVE THEM ROSS!" soon Matty came by my side dragging me onto the dance floor.

We danced for the rest of their set. This is how I always wanted it to be, Matty and I with the rest of our mates dancing to absolute tunes. "this is the whole reason I dragged you out bug. Wanted it to be a surprise for you." Matty said to me grinning ear to ear, drunk yes but happy nonetheless. "you little fucker! stink " I simply said drunkly grinning back at him.

Granted the Arctic monkeys only played a few songs keeping their set small. It was a great set, covering the classics. I stayed out on the dance floor Matty went back to the table claiming he needed a break "feel the alcohol coming back up bug, need a breather" "okay i'll stay here". After a couple of songs, I looked around for Matty and the crew and couldn't find them anywhere, only Hann still necking off with that girl, didn't fancy staying with them on my own. Besides, it's not like Hann would show interest in me and I didn't want to interrupt either "Damnit Healy" I said grabbing my bag off the table and walking out the club going to find them probably shacked at the smoking shelter either smoking weed or cigarettes .

Once I got out of the club the cold air hit my face, sobering me up quite a bit, I walked to the smoke shelter, pulling my cigarettes and lighter out of my bag lighting one. waiting around searching for matty or anyone at this point, popping my head out and occasionally moving to keep me warm, Oh how I hated being on my own.

giving up and walking away because they weren't here anymore lighting another to keep me warm, suddenly I felt someone tap my shoulder with an "scuse me love" turning around with a "yeah can I help you?" not catching on that my favourite artist, had just tapped my shoulder "look it's just I saw you lighting your cigarette normally I wouldn't ask this but could I borrow ya lighter my mate took mine and I don't know where he or my lighter for that matter, is?" "Of course you can, here you go. My mates ditched me too I don't know where they are"

Looking up at me he noticed who i was "holy shit you're like the really hot model who stars in that 75 video" laughing to myself "yes that would be me, although i do have a name other than 'really hot model' it's Y/n. and the 75 are the friends who ditched me" "nice to meet ya y/n, the names Alex Turner" "yes I know who you are alex, I'm a big fan!" chuckling to himself I think more than to me. "that hilarious, such big fans of each other" laughing along too I said "yeah i guess so"

keeping each other company for a while talking about how demanding each of our jobs are George ran over to me shouting "There you are, y/n/n, been looking all over for you". "looking for me? I've been looking for you lot I came back from the dance floor and you were gone all of you. well apart from Hann, he was still there wasn't interested though. think he was more interested in that girls lips, was just about to give up and go home before you showed up" "haha yeah. well we went to go smoke a zoot but didn't think you'd want to come." george caught alex gawping at him, as if he had just seen the queen of Sheba.

Leaning into me george said in a whisper "is he alright?" "yeah he's fine, just a little starstruck that your in front of him, big 75 fan ya see, like I am of him, I don't show it though" nodding george understanding how big fan I was of the arctic monkeys he held a hand out and introduced himself "Hey, George nice to meet you" Alex tried to keep his cool "nice to meet you too, big 75 fan. isn't there more of you?" "yeah Matty and Ross are coming they're just having a heart to heart you see. came to find our best friend and adopted 5th member of our band y/n here. and our guitarist Adam is inside necking on with a bird, shown disinterest in all of us tonight"

Not too soon after, Matty and Ross came up and joined George Alex and I. Matty came up next to me and put a hand round my neck and kissed my temple, "there you are been looking all over for you bug" "went looking for you,dick" shoving him adding "you disappeared stink" with a pout. "sorry y/n/n drug duty calls" standing to attention like a solider in a jokey matter,

coming back to whisper in my ear while Alex and george were still talking "Isn't that Alex? as in arctic monkeys Alex?" "yeah it is. nice innit apparently he's a big 75 fan and big fan of me too" whispering back. Matty just smiled and went up to introduce himself to Alex but not before nicking on of my fags. taking his iconic 75 lighter and lighting it.

After pleasantries we're made. we all decided to take a walk, Alex joining us, leaving Hann behind deciding that he wouldn't want to come anyway being too distracted in some girl's lips, wandering around the streets aimlessly with no end goal that until our drunk cravings were shouting at us to get greasy kebabs. so that's what we did, we got them from the nearest kebab shop and took them to a local park and sat in it eating our kebabs. Alex got to know us, and we got to know him.

"And it was her foot!" Matty said finishing his story, we all laughed "still can't believe that happened, what drunken nights can do to us hey stink?" I chimed in running over to the bin throwing my rubbish away. the others soon finished theirs and we headed out together, deciding it was late and we should all probably head home.

Stupidly though I ended up inviting everyone back. Matty stating that it would've happened anyway "you just want to see Ara" "that's true I love her more than her own mother" "not true you just give into her because you think she's too cute" "okay yeah. but we love her equally"

Alex being confused chiming in with a "who's Ara" ross sighed with george adding in a "you just got yourself into a whole mess pal " giving Alex a pat on the shoulder knowing that Matty and I would get into a heated bickering about who's cat it was. Alex obviously knowing us for a night so didn't really know the whole depths of it. "so it's my cat, her names arabella, matty of course decided to adopt a cat as well not to mention it looked the exact same as ara, we introduced the cats one day because we thought it would be cute because well it would be nice to have our cats as best friends, turns out it was a stupid idea as one of the cats jumped out the window and it was never seen again. but the fight happened so fast we weren't sure which one was which because we hadn't gotten them collars yet. so Matty thinks Ara's his cat, but she's not" "she is she answers to Caroline" Matty added in "she answers to about anything mate" George chimed in before putting a hand round his neck taking him off so he could cool off before the bickering got any further to save Alex, he wasn't ready for the constant bickering yet.

With George Ross and Matty walking ahead and Alex and I walking behind we got to know each other better until the question i've been dreading all evening came up "so...are you and Matty like a thing?" "no of course not just best friends. although you wouldn't think, we argue like a married couple and are very cuddly but that's because we've been through a lot together, I think of Matty like a brother you know, besides Matty would be too high maintenance for me." "Good because I was hoping you and I could become something sometimes"

— end of pt 1

For the fantastic @fight-surrender: You are a wonderful person with a brilliant mind and a kind heart, and I am so happy to know you! I really enjoyed the prompts you suggested for the Secret Snowflake exchange this year, so to give you something fluffy and happy for your birthday I combined a few of them into one sweet and silly fic - I hope that you like it! 🖤

A big thank you goes out to @carryonvisinata for her wonderful beta work and for making this fic even better for such an incredible friend 🖤 Purr-fect Strangers

Rated: General Audiences Word Count: 3208 Chapters: 1/1 Simon

"Die Hard? Really?"

I'm struggling to make the Redbox give me my DVD. Video vending machines sounded like a good idea when I couldn't find anywhere to stream my favorite movie, but the obstinate thing in front of me and the condescending voice behind me are now making me reconsider my choices.

"What's wrong with Die Hard?" I demand, momentarily giving up on retrieving my video to take some of my frustration out on the prick watching me.

Unfortunately, when I turn around to scowl at him, I make eye contact with one of the most attractive people I've ever seen. He's tall, with dark hair escaping the bun on top of his head and falling around his face, and a perfectly tailored suit hugging every inch of his body right on down to his shiny Chelsea boots. My brain shorts out, and he sneers at me.

"There’s nothing wrong with it, per se. But you have a near unlimited assortment of cinema to choose from, and you've selected Die Hard?"

(Read the rest on ao3, or keep reading here)

I scoff.

"Look, mate, some of us don't feel the need to watch pretentious films just to feel better than other people. I like Die Hard. I'm going to watch it while eating pizza and relaxing in joggers, and I refuse to feel bad about enjoying that."

He looks a bit startled, and his cheeks take on a slightly pink tinge, but he just arches an eyebrow at me. (And manages to make that look unfairly hot too, the prat.)

"What movie are you renting?" I say it like a challenge, and he pushes past me.

He deftly removes my DVD from the stubborn machine and thrusts it at me, before turning back around to get his own. I loiter behind him, just like he did to me, ready to see what movie he thinks is better than Die Hard.

"Two Weeks Notice?" I exclaim, when I see the poster pop up on the screen. "You're ridiculing Die Hard, but getting a rom-com for yourself? Unbelievable."

He pushes past me and turns up his nose. My blood boils for so many different reasons, and it's work to hold myself still.

"This has Hugh Grant in it. My tastes are superior."

Then he swans off, and I'm left standing on the kerb.

Baz

A year into my time at university, I started treating myself to a monthly visit to Sephora. It was easily excusable then, with parties every weekend to justify each new purchase, but I've kept up the tradition since graduating. (Retail therapy and good skin care never hurt anyone. And a little eyeliner does wonders for one's self esteem.)

This month, I'm browsing for something sparkly. My eyes are grey, but with a dark, glittery liner I think they might stand out a little more. I'm just testing one of the pencils on the back of my hand when I see him.

Blond hair, plain blue eyes, and a constellation of freckles and moles across his skin. The most lovely man I have ever seen, with the worst taste in movies, and (I'm sure) a well-deserved hatred for me.

For all that I try to appear cool and confident, my facade sometimes fails me. When I get flustered, I become cruel. The man renting Die Hard was so pretty that all I could do was insult him and then curse myself for it the entire way home. I couldn't even properly enjoy Hugh Grant, as mired as I was in self-loathing. And now, whatever second chance to impress him I've been granted with has surely been ruined by my actions last time.

I keep my head down and steal glances at him through my eyelashes.

He is entirely out of his element, that much is obvious right away. I watch him ask one of the shop assistants for help, and she points him in the direction of a display. His brow furrows as he picks up different containers, and he’s ridiculously precious and hopeless as he holds a lipstick tube next to a garish eyeshadow palette and closes one eye to look at them. (What is he even doing?)

Finally, his confusion seems to win out, and he turns to look around for help, when he suddenly spots me. I've been caught out; I can't pretend now like I haven't been staring, and he scowls a little as we make eye contact. I arch an eyebrow, watch as his face grows pink in anger, and decide I hate myself enough to try talking to him again.

"That's really not your shade."

"What?" It's a simple word, horribly enunciated, and does nothing to quell the wrinkle between his eyes.

"The purple. I don't think it would flatter you. Furthermore, that lipstick clashes horribly with every color in that palette."

He turns a bright red and starts to splutter. I am hopelessly endeared.

"That's not- I, I don't- it isn't-"

"Oh, calm down, there's nothing wrong with wearing makeup," I say, flashing him the back of my hand with the eyeliner tests on it. "You just need to pick a better shade." I pluck a different palette (for blue eyes) and a lipstick in a true red from the display and hand them over. "Something like this."

He stares at them dumbly for a moment, his mouth hanging open. (Mouth breather.)

"You think I should wear this?"

"I think it would flatter you if you chose to wear makeup. That purple will do you no favors." I sneer at the garish eyeshadow still in his hand.

"It's for my friend!" he finally bursts out.

"Are you mad at her?" It's a reasonable question, that eyeshadow is truly appalling.

"No? It's her birthday next week, and she said that she wanted to have some makeup for date nights and things."

"Are you in love with her?"

"No!" No hesitation at all. "No, no way. Penny is like my sister. She's my best friend. We're not…" he trails off, and I'm strangely reassured. He still probably hates me, but at least there is one woman in the world that he’s not dating, so my odds have improved marginally.

"Don't get your pants in a twist. I just thought you might be, since that eyeshadow would certainly drive away her current boyfriend."

He sticks out his chin and seems to decide something.

"Fine. What should I get for her, then?" The “if you know so much” is left unsaid.

I'm not really an expert, despite my monthly purchases, but I'll take any excuse I can get to linger around this starburst of a boy for a few moments more.

"Does she wear makeup normally?" He shakes his head no. "Then perhaps start with something more subtle for her." I take the offending palette away and hand him a more subdued one, with a faint shimmer. "Do you think this would look nice on her?"

He thinks hard for a moment, then pulls out his phone, swiping at the lock screen and turning it to face me.

"This is her."

His home screen background is a picture of the two of them, cheeks pressed together and grinning like crazy under the summer sun. His curls are being tossed by the wind, and he looks like a bronze Adonis. I think my heart actually skips a beat at the sight.

"That palette will be fine then. This lipstick, too," I add, handing him a plum shade. "Do you need anything else?" I ask, and then cringe when I sound like I'm working instead of flirting.

He shakes his head.

"No, this is brilliant, thanks."

He still looks a bit confused, and he bites his lip as he looks down at the makeup in his hand - the makeup for his friend, and the things I picked out for him.

I don't want to go, but I can't figure out any way to prolong our conversation.

"You should get that one," he says, pointing to one of the lines on my hand. I raise an eyebrow in question. He's right, but what does this mean? Is he flirting? Does he want me to wear eyeliner? Is he just trying to repay me for helping him? "Yeah. Definitely that one."

He raps his knuckles on the counter beside us twice, and then wanders towards the check out.

It's not until I'm trying to fall asleep that I realize - he bought the makeup for himself too.

Simon

One of my foster fathers had a workshop, and I spent a happy summer watching him build a table and matching chairs for the dining room. I didn't get to stay to see it completed, because one of his biological children kept stealing money out of his mom's purse and blaming me, but I still enjoyed the time I had spent watching woodworking. I liked it so much that when Penny and I graduated and got a flat together, I saved up to buy a few tools. I don't make anything major, but I've built small shelves and a side table and a pan organizer for the flat, and I really like it.

Recently, Penny has been complaining about not being able to reach everything in the kitchen, so while she's still at work I stop by the B&Q to pick up some wood for a step stool. I'm heading to the check out when I see him - the mean makeup guy. (Although he was actually quite nice when we were talking about makeup. He was just rude when we were getting our movies.)

He's dressed casually today, in tight dark jeans and a warm grey sweater, with his hair falling in loose waves around his face. He's glaring down at two wrenches, and I hate that he still looks so good when he's glowering.

Before I even register what's happening, my feet have carried me over to him.

"D'ya need help?"

He startles, and turns lovely grey eyes up to look at me. It's work not to gasp. He’s wearing eyeliner. I'm not entirely sure, but I think it may even be the eyeliner I told him to buy.

"The sink in my kitchen is leaking. I watched a tutorial on YouTube, and it should be easy enough to fix, but I don't have the proper tools."

He goes back to glaring at the wrenches, and I lean over to take a look.

“You want that one.”

“Why? How do you know?”

“Well, it’s adjustable. You can change it within reason, so as long as your plumbing isn’t something incredibly out of the ordinary it should fit just fine.”

He looks surprised (and maybe a bit like he wants to attack me, although I try to ignore that).

“How do you know that?”

I laugh.

“Basic home maintenance, mate, I’ve had to fix a leaky sink before too, believe it or not.”

I grin at him until one corner of his mouth tips upward in response.

“Thanks,” he says, his cheeks flushing a little. “I’ll get this one then. Yes. Thank you. Have a nice evening.”

He strides off, once again leaving me feeling a bit dazed.

He looks really good in eyeliner.

Baz

When Fiona discovered I hadn’t left the apartment in a week, she called in the cavalry. Daphne showed up at my door with a casserole and some flowers, and within minutes she had the kitchen feeling like a place that was less utility space and more home.

“Basil, Fiona is worried about you.” I rolled my eyes, despite knowing it wouldn’t get me anywhere. “I’m worried about you, too. You spend so much time by yourself, and you hardly ever go out to see your friends or enjoy the city.”

“I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”

“Basil,” she had said, and that time it was a warning. “It’s not healthy for anyone to spend this much time alone.”

“What, do you expect me to get a cat?”

Daphne smiled, and I knew that I had said the wrong thing.

“Yes, actually. And,” she said, before I could object, “Fiona thought you should too. In fact, she made it a condition of your continued occupancy of this flat. We both think it might be nice for you to have someone else around to talk to.”

I arched an eyebrow.

“And you want me to talk to a cat?”

Daphne just gave me a Mona Lisa smile, handed me a plate filled with food, and told me when she left later that evening that I had forty-eight hours to send her a picture of a cat. (I asked what I should do if I didn’t like any of the cats I saw. Or if they didn’t like me. She said I had to at least prove that I tried.)

So, this morning, I made my way to the nearest RSPCA and talked to strangers for the first time in over a week. I told them that I was looking to adopt a cat, and they immediately led me to a room filled with individual cages and an assortment of felines. They said I could play with any of the cats that I wanted, and now I’m staring into the eyes of a fluffy orange tabby.

The tabby meows at me, and I swear that she’s telling me to get lost. I guess cats can tell when you’re out of your depth.

I stroll down the aisle and read the names given to each cat. It’s been years since I last had a pet and even then, the husky my family had wasn’t my sole responsibility. I was in charge of feeding him, but there was always someone else making sure that I did. And really, we only adopted him when my pediatrician suggested that an animal might help me after my mother died. Daphne is probably trying to do the same thing again now. (Is this how one becomes a crazy cat lady? Depression, anxiety, OCD, and an unwillingness to tolerate therapy?)

I keep walking slowly until I feel a tug on my sleeve. I look down, and a little orange paw ending in one very sharp claw has latched on to me. I unhook it before my sweater can snag, and then look into the kennel. There are two kittens, each only about ten weeks old according to their cards, and the orange one is peering up at me with big blue eyes. Its littermate is asleep in the corner, curled into a fluffy black puffball, but the tabby is ready to play. His tail twitches, and he pounces immediately when I wiggle a finger between the bars. He catches my fingertip in a far more gentle grasp than I would have imagined, then looks at me with what can only be described as pure adoration.

“Excuse me,” I say, moving my finger some more and feeling small claws dig in. Then again, louder, to get the attention of the woman, “Excuse me. Can I see this one?”

The woman comes over and flips the latch, then reaches in and comes out with a handful of fur and knives. The kitten opens its mouth in a fierce imitation of a vampire, then stretches it further as it lapses into a yawn. We spend the better part of an hour in a bright, cheerful room, just the kitten and I. At first it chases a string that I drag along the ground and runs after balls with bells in them, but then it calms down and curls up in my lap to sleep.

I’m petting it and cooing softly to it, trying to ignore the fact that Daphne and Fiona were both right about this whole thing, when the door to the room opens again.

“Oh. It’s you,” says the most beautiful man I have ever seen. My face flushes when I remember our last encounter and I pray he doesn’t remember my ignorance. (Of course he does. I didn’t know how to select a wrench. I am incapable of basic home repair and he knows it.)

“Do you two know each other?” The woman from before is back, this time holding the other kitten from the same cage, and looking between the two of us. “These kittens aren’t technically a bonded pair, but they are siblings, the only two remaining from their litter, and it would be lovely if they could still see each other.”

“Err…” the man says, shifting his weight.

“We’ve met in passing a few times now,” I say, trying to avoid encouraging this line of questioning.

“Great!” she says, clapping her hands brightly after handing the kitten off. “I’ll leave all of you to get better acquainted then!”

For a moment, there’s just awkward silence. Neither of us are looking at each other, both focusing on our respective kittens. Then, his kitten turns into the feline equivalent of a slinky, oozes out of his grasp, and runs over to tap my leg once before running away again. It hides behind his legs, and all I can see is a black tail winding around his ankles.

We both laugh, and the ice is broken.

“I’m Simon,” he says, and smiles at me. It’s the same radiant smile I remember from his lockscreen. It feels like looking into the sun, and I bask in it.

“Basil. Although my friends call me Baz.”

“Are you going to…” he trails off, but gestures to my cat.

“Yes,” I look down and give it a scratch under the chin. “I’m going to adopt it.”

“Same here,” Simon says, and then he blushes. “I mean, unless it rips my face off in the next few minutes, but I think this is the one.”

“Do you know which one you have?” Their names and genders were on the cage, but it didn’t specify who was who.

“No idea. I’m going to rename mine anyway though, I didn’t like either of those names.”

“I was planning on doing the same thing. If I’m going to have a pet, it needs to have a proper name befitting its personality. Not something mundane like Fluffy.” I scowl, and he laughs.

As his kitten comes over to touch its nose to my kitten, Simon clears his throat.

“So, um, like she said, they’d probably be happy to have playdates or whatever. I mean, since we’re getting them. And since we keep running into each other. It might make sense to, you know, exchange numbers?”

“Yes!” I say, far too eagerly. “I mean, that seems reasonable. It would be more convenient than waiting to happen upon you in the Waitrose choosing inferior crisps to set up a future meeting.”

He smiles. “Well, yeah, there’s that. And this way, it’ll be easier for me to ask you out, ”

Then the absolute nightmare sits down beside me and hands me his phone. He texts me immediately once I enter my contact info.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) This is Simon Snow

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) Your cat is cute.

Unknown Number (11:27 AM) So are you

Unknown Number (11:28 AM) Wanna get dinner sometime? ;)

I blush, and send him a reply.

Baz (11:29 AM) I thought you’d never ask.

Do you take prompts? Cause I'm dying to read some good Mob boss Tony who's badass with everyone else and melts down for his baby Peter! :) Thank you anyways 😊

Hello there! I’m not sure I’m gonna take prompts yet, because I’m a really slow writer and would probably get overwhelmed way too quickly, but I do love myself some Mob Boss!Tony, I just needed an excuse to write it, haha.

@roleplayangelprincess, I really do hope you like this! Thank you for reaching out. XO

Mob Boss!Tony x Precious!Peter

Word count: 5k+

Warnings: explicit, nff, 18+, mentions of blood, violence, torture and child abuse (nothing explicit), no violence between main pairing. Mafia AU. If you spot anything else that might be triggering to anyone, please let me know!

-*-

Tony’s world had always smelt of gunpowder, blood and tears, for as long as he could remember. The only lullabies he knew were the sounds of shots being fired, screams of horror and desperate begging. Howard used to say it was important that he was raised in the middle of all that, he believed it would make him a tougher man, a firmer leader. He wanted Tony to experience all those situations he usually found himself in, because one day it would all be his – his whole empire, all of New York City’s underworld would be in the palm of his hands, and the scum of the earth that lived in it would be able to smell fear, weakness and softness from three thousand miles away.

So Tony never knew softness, kindness or gentleness. He was raised on blood, tears and gunpowder, to the sounds of screams, gunshots and begging. He was groomed to be a leader as heartless and cold as Howard, to be able to pull the trigger without hesitating. Cold and calculated. He was eight when he killed for the first time, just old enough to support the weight of the gun with both hands and handle its kickback.

The man had begged and cried, looking into his eyes, and Tony didn’t feel anything, he had heard those sounds so many times by then, it did nothing to him. Howard said “do it” and he did. He pulled the trigger. The man’s blood spattered his face and arms and shirt and it was weirdly warm, like teardrops on his skin. He stood there, mesmerized for a few seconds, before Maria told him to go clean up and get ready for supper.

That episode was his life in a nutshell, the smells, the sounds, the darkness, his mother’s reaction, his father’s nod of approval. He grew used to it all, he embraced it, he craved it, and he didn’t know anything else.

Until Peter.

Peter was a ray of fucking sunshine on Tony’s cloudy, dark days, and he hated it at first. He hated that he made his world brighter, he hated that Peter made him want to bend to his every wish, hated that he made him want to protect him from the world, hated that he made him feel so fucking vulnerable, and weak, and exposed, but he loved him. He fucking loved him so much. He had no idea when it started,  but it felt like from day one, he never had a choice.

Tony had just left one of his clubs in a terrible mood, one of his most profitable deals had fallen though due to his employees’ incompetence and he had had to kill people – six, to be precise –  it was a bloodbath, there was running and screaming and just nonsense in general, as he sat there and rolled his eyes at the failed escape attempts. To top it all off, there was blood on his favorite suit. It was a three-piece, Italian cut suit and it would go to waste thanks to those idiots running around like fools. All in all, a bad day.

“Excuse me, sir! Excuse me!” And then, sunshine. That chirpy, high-pitched voice coming from behind him was slightly annoying, and if he had been just a little more pissed he would have turned and shot him on the spot, no questions asked, but as it was, he’d maybe just tell him to fuck off.

When he turned around, though, there was a young man looking back at him, clearly scared now. Tony noticed that Rogers and Barnes had their guns pointed at him, as he raised his shaky, thin arms in surrender, a black, Italian leather wallet in his hand. “Y-you, y-you dr-drop...” He couldn’t even speak, so Tony took that time to look him over. He looked young, probably in his late teens or early twenties, he was thin and short and he had a very pretty face for a boy. He wore baggy jeans and an oversized NYU hoodie, so Tony guessed he was a student. In short, a very delicious meal for such a shitty night.

“Rogers, my wallet,” Tony cut the boy off, gesturing for Steve to get his wallet from him. He almost passed out when the blonde man approached him, still holding the gun to his face.

“I don’t mean any trouble, sir, I’m so sorry, I just found the wallet on the ground, I-I swear,” He whimpered pitifully and the sound made Tony’s cock twitch. He raised an eyebrow at himself.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, looking around to maybe try to figure out where the boy had come from. They were in a deserted area, somewhere between Queens and Brooklyn, near one of his clubs and a few of his warehouses, there was nothing around there that would justify Peter’s presence, unless he had ulterior motives and the college student get-up was just a ruse.

“W-walking home from work, sir. I-I didn’t have any money left f-for the subway,” He stuttered, hands still up, he was shaking all over now, and it usually didn’t bother Tony, but he was such a pretty thing, the older man didn’t like to see those squirming for the wrong reasons, he had other uses for them. If the boy was harmless, that terrible night could still be saved.

“What’s your name, boy?” That was all Natasha needed to run a background check on him and, in that moment, he found out the name of what would come to be his greatest weakness. Peter Parker. He looked at Barnes and he nodded quietly, sending a message to Natasha to run a quick check. As soon as it came back clear, he opened a big, shark-like smile at the still trembling boy. “Well, it appears we got off on the wrong foot, sweetheart.”

In retrospect, Tony wouldn’t be able to tell what possessed him that night, what made him think that it would be a good idea to lure him into his car and offer him a ride home. He knew that the boy did things to him, he was gorgeous and innocent-looking, a personal favorite, but Tony didn’t often act on impulse. Even his one-night-stands were carefully chosen and vetted, he couldn’t afford to take any risks; but that night, for the first time – the first of many –, he made an exception for Peter Parker. He didn’t know what made the younger man come with him, either, specially after being held at gunpoint by Rogers and Barnes, but he came, probably possessed by the same entity that clouded Tony’s judgment.

The mob boss made up a story about being the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company and told him that Rogers and Barnes were his bodyguards. He wasn’t too far off from the truth, he did run a multi-billion dollar business and Barnes and Rogers were the only two people in the world he trusted with his life. He told the naive boy that he couldn’t tell him the company’s name for safety reasons, and he ate it all up like a good boy, got in the car with Tony and was easily charmed by his words.

What the older man didn’t count on, though, was that he was really charming, too, in his own way. He was smart and sharp, slightly sarcastic and sassy, and really, really sweet. The older man couldn’t quite understand why it attracted him so much when he took the boy back to his place, but it did, and when he had him sprawled on his one-thousand thread count Egyptian sheets, mouth slack and begging for more, he thought it was merely lust.

Only it didn’t go away after that first night, but Tony thought he just had to fuck him out of his system, which seemed easy enough. He invited Peter to dinner – unfortunately, he had to keep up the facade of being a nice gentleman if he wanted to have him again – and the boy was so fucking happy to hear from him when he picked up the phone. Tony could swear his room got brighter when his voice filled up the empty space.

He was just as charming and even more sassy the second time they met, a little less shy, a little bolder now that Tony knew what he looked like naked and stuffed full of his cock. He took him back home again. And again. And again. By the fifth time they got together, Tony realized – with the utmost horror – that he was beginning to care about the boy. He longed to see him, he wanted to know about his days; he was amused by his antics, he remembered the names of his friends from school, and the professors he liked and disliked. He wanted to hurt the people who made him sad for whatever reason, he was worried about his eating habits, he wanted to make all his money problems disappear. He cared about him.

So, logically, he had to kill him.

There was just no other way, Tony Stark couldn’t afford to care about anybody, it was too big of a weakness, it was gonna be his downfall and he couldn’t have it. So by the sixth night, he did what he had to do. He unwrapped the thin, pale arms from his chest, untucked the sweet-smelling head from under his chin, and got out of bed. He took his gun from the nightstand drawer and pointed it at Peter’s head.

He’d make it painless, the boy wouldn’t have to suffer, he’d die peacefully in his sleep. Tony would have to buy another bed, but other than that, it wouldn’t be much of a clean-up, the way the boy was lying almost in the center of the bed, there wouldn’t even be blood on the floor. Besides, he didn’t have any family left, he only had a couple of friends at school and two more who were away for college, so not many people to look for him. They’d think he’d moved away or something.

Tony stared at him over the barrel of his gun. As soon as he had stepped out of the bed, Peter reached for his pillow and clutched it like a doll, dreaming away, with an almost unnoticeable smile on his lips, completely unaware that he was sharing a bed with the most dangerous criminal in New York, possibly in the whole country. So innocent, and naive, and beautiful.

He was so tiny, so out of place in his cold, dark world. Peter didn’t smell like blood or gunpowder, he smelled like something sweet and edible, he never screamed or cried, he always had a bright smile for him and the most delectable laugh.

Tony faltered. No matter how hard he tried to will his finger to pull the trigger, he couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t fucking do it. He squeezed his eyes shut and lowered the gun, cursing under his breath, unable to believe he couldn’t do such a simple thing. Eight-years-old Tony hadn’t fucking blinked when Howard told him to do it. Why couldn’t he fucking do it?

“Tony? Is everything okay?” When he opened his eyes again, Peter was sitting up, and he looked worried. Tony noticed his eyes were fixed on the gun in his hand. “What’s going on?” He whispered, looking around the room, as if there was a threat out there, little did he know he was face to face with the devil himself.

“Nothing, sweetheart, I just thought I heard something. I checked, it’s nothing, go back to sleep.” He put the gun back in the drawer and the boy breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh, good. Come back to bed, then.” He reached out his arms to Tony, so open and trusting, sitting on his big bed, swallowed by all those expensive sheets, wearing one of his old t-shirts. So fucking small, and breakable, and vulnerable. Tony couldn’t keep him. As long as the boy was alive, he would be a weakness, he could be used as leverage.

So he needed to die. It was for his own good.

The next day, he called Barnes into his office, lighted up a cigar and slowly smoked it as he tried to digest the words he had to say to him. The other man stood there stoically, waiting patiently, until Tony blurted out, “I need you to kill Peter.” He didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even flinch. Professional as ever.

“When do you need it done, boss?” Barnes was the best man for the job, Steve was great, but he was a little soft, and Tony saw the way he looked at the kid, with that small, discreet smile full of fondness.

“Tonight,” he said, jaw set, eyes narrowed. It needed to be done. “He has a night shift at the diner. He gets off at eleven, I want it done by then. You know the drill, be discreet, careful not to make much of a mess, don’t leave any witnesses, yada yada.” He gestured with his cigar, feeling detached, like he was talking about anybody else but Peter.

“You got it, boss.” Barnes nodded and turned to leave, only to be stopped by Tony’s voice.

“Barnes,” Tony didn’t look at him when he turned around. “Make it quick. And painless.”

“Of course.”

So Tony waited. And that day might as well have lasted a fucking year, the way the hours dragged, he couldn’t concentrate on his meetings, couldn’t fucking eat, not even his cigars were enough to calm him down. He was snapping at his employees, killing people for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, losing money for being too fucking off his game.

Around ten that night, he sat on his favorite armchair, the one one in which he and Peter fucked when they couldn’t even make it to the bed, and waited. He drank his scotch and pretended to think of something else, anything, but his mind kept going back to Peter’s lifeless body covered in blood. Gone forever. He lighted up a cigar and, when he noticed his fingers were fucking shaking as it approached eleven o’clock, he realized he couldn’t fucking do it. At ten fifty-eight, he called Barnes.

“Barnes, what’s your status?” He asked, a lump in his throat, afraid it was too late already.

“He’s gathering up his things to leave, boss.” He answered calmly and Tony sighed in relief.

“I’m calling it off. Come back here right now, you and Rogers.”

“Yes, boss.”

As he waited for them, he poured himself a glass of scotch, weighting his options. He couldn’t kill Peter, but he couldn’t let him be a weakness either, so he needed a plan. First of all, Peter couldn’t be kept in the dark anymore, it was too dangerous. Second of all, nobody could ever know about him, the only two people who already knew he existed were Barnes and Rogers, and he would keep it that way.

“It’s your duty to make sure no one knows about him. Not a single soul. I mean it.” He stared at them intently and they looked back at him impassibly, nodding. “If anyone gets a whiff of him, if anyone tries to harm him in any way, I’m gonna choose one of you to torture and kill and let the other one watch and then lock them in the same room with the body to watch it rot, are we clear?”

“Yes, boss,” they both answered in unison, unfazed. One of the reasons Tony trusted them with his life was because they were each other’s weakness, they were easy to threaten. The second reason, of course, was because they risked their lives to rescue him when the Ten Rings gang managed to kidnap him, under Obadiah Stane’s orders, the jealous bastard. Nobody else came but them, and they took down the whole gang by themselves. He rewarded them handsomely, and they became the highest ranking people in his inner circle, followed closely by Natasha and Bruce.

“Good. Bring him to me.”

Not even an hour later, Peter walked into his office, looking frightened. As soon as he saw Tony, though, he breathed a great sigh of relief, rushing to his side to sit on his lap and hold him tight. Tony raised a brow, confused.

“I was so worried, Bucky and Steve just picked me up and they wouldn’t say anything, I thought something had happened to you.” His little arms clutched his neck tightly, desperately, and Tony’s heart swelled with emotions he didn’t even know existed. He breathed in the boy’s scent, feeling nervous all of a sudden, he wasn’t sure why.

“We need to talk, Peter.” He held his head with both hands and pushed him a little. “Maybe you’ll want to sit a little farther away from me for what I’m about to tell you.”

“I know what you’re gonna tell me. Please, don’t.” Tony froze at that, muscles going rigid, eyes wide. He stared at the kid’s face and he looked embarrassed, sad and scared.

“What do you think you know, Pete?” He asked quietly, studying the boy’s reactions. He shrugged his shoulders, avoiding Tony’s eyes.

“I think you’re not really a CEO,” he whispered, as a single tear ran down his cheek. Tony reached out to dry it immediately. “I-I think you h-hurt people… And stuff.”

“What stuff? Why do you think that?” He tucked a curl behind his ear and placed a finger on his chin to force him too look at him.

“I don’t know what stuff, just… Stuff. Illegal stuff.” More tears followed and he closed his eyes briefly, opening them a few seconds later. Tony waited patiently. “I’ve heard you on the phone a few times, I can smell gunpowder on you. And – blood. And it’s never yours.” Tony nodded slowly, watching his boy falling apart before his eyes, he looked pained. He was clearly a lot smarter then he let on and a lot sneakier, if he had been listening in on his phone calls. Weirdly, the older man wasn’t even mad.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” He questioned, trying to dry his tears again, holding the boy’s cheeks in his palms. He nodded slowly.

“It terrifies me,” he admitted quietly. “But I – I just. I can’t stay away from you.” He frowned and Tony sighed, smiling softly.

“I couldn’t hurt you if I tried, baby boy.” He wanted to laugh at how true that was.

“I know. I think I know that, just. Just don’t tell me wh– I don’t want to know. The things you do.”

“Of course, it has nothing to do with you, you’re not a part of this world. I’m just gonna need you to be more careful, ok, baby? We’ll set a few ground rules, and everything will be just fine.” He rubbed the boys arms as he nodded, but he still seemed agitated and nervous. ”Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“I – Yeah, I guess.” He tried to smile but it turned into a grimace as a few more tears escaped his eyes. “I’m really scared.”

“Peter, listen to me. You don’t ever have to be scared, do you hear me? No one can touch you, you’re under my protection. Do you understand that? No one would dare, I swear to you. I swear it.” There was a lot of confidence in his voice, but he was terrified himself, he was afraid he couldn’t keep that promise, but Peter believed him. The way his face softened and he was finally able to smile again, Tony knew he believed him.  

They took it one day at a time, slowly figuring out their own rules. After that talk, they didn’t see each other for a few weeks, just in case someone had taken notice of the fact that Peter had entered the tower seven times over the course of four months. Then, for the boy’s spring break, Tony took him to Japan for a week, where they could walk around freely, hand in hand, only taking a few precautions before traveling, like not boarding the same plane. After that, they were able to establish a weekly routine, they never met on the same day or at the same time, but they never went more than a week without seeing each other. Quickly, days turned into weeks, which turned into months, which turned into years. Two whole years, and Tony still couldn’t believe how a boy like Peter could belong with a monster like him.

“Boss, the prince is upstairs,” Barnes warned him as soon as he stepped into the tower, to Tony’s surprise. They hadn’t scheduled anything for that night and, for a few seconds, the older man panicked and it must have shown, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it. “He’s unharmed. He insisted that I brought him as a surprise, just a heads-up.” He added and the boss let out a breath slowly, nodding.

“Very well.”

Tony hurried upstairs and as soon as he stepped inside the apartment, he was gifted with the sight of his young lover sitting on his armchair. He was wearing one of the older man’s t-shirts, his favorite one, the oldest Tony owned. He didn’t seem to be wearing anything underneath it, as Tony got a glimpse of his cute little cock peeking out from under the hem of his shirt, between his parted legs. The boy was sleeping, head resting on a hand, propped on the arm of the chair.

The older man walked towards him, loosening his tie, then stopped in front of him. He knelt by his feet, stroked his calves lightly and kissed both of his knees softly. The boy’s eyes fluttered open in surprise, until they finally focused on Tony.

“My prince,” The older man greeted, kissing his way up the pale, plump legs, stopping at the hem of the t-shirt. “Did I keep you waiting?”

“Tony,” He mumbled sleepily, running his fingers through the other’s graying hair. “It’s okay, I was hoping to surprise you, actually, but I guess I fell asleep.” His hand slid towards the older man’s cheek and he leaned into it like a cat, turning a little to place a kiss on his palm.

“Good boy,” he resumed his kisses on pale, shivering thighs, and Peter sighed quietly. “What was this surprise about, baby boy?”

“Just missed you, it’s been a while,” Peter adjusted himself on the chair, sliding his lower half down the seat and spreading his legs wider, until Tony could see a sparkle between the boy’s cheeks, where his pink, tight hole should be. The young man was blushing slightly, Tony found it endearing that he still did, after all that time.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness, have I been neglecting you?” His fingers slid across Peter’s legs, thumbs drawing circles on the sensitive skin on the inside of his thighs, and the boy’s breath hitched as he got closer and closer to his balls. Tony saw his small cock flushing pink as it stood to attention, and the toy inside his hole jerked.

“It’s okay, you’re busy.” Which was absolutely true. Between Peter’s classes, Tony’s tight schedule and having to keep the boy a secret, there wasn’t a lot of time for them to meet, but Tony would correct that soon. When the boy graduated in a couple of months, he wouldn’t be such an easy target anymore, at least he wouldn’t have a predictable schedule in such a public place. He could live at the tower, where it was safe, and Barnes and Rogers could take care of him whenever he needed to go out.

“I was, little one, but I have all the time in the world for you now, let’s see this surprise of yours, shall we?” He spread Peter’s legs further, placing each of them on the arms of the chair, his boy was incredibly flexible, gorgeous to watch. He raised his shirt a little bit, just up to his stomach, but didn’t take it off. “Ah, I see. What a beautiful surprise you have there, baby boy. Thank you.” His little hole was stretched around the plug Tony had bought for him, a slick, black one, with jewels encrusted on the handle, now sticking out of him. It wasn’t too big or thick, he liked him to be tight, after all. “Did my prince come while putting this in?”

“Yes, sir… Twice,” He was already panting and Tony hadn’t even touched him where it mattered yet. He smirked and clicked his tongue, shaking his head.

“I’m so sorry, you must have been really starved for cock, right? Daddy haven’t been feeding you properly. We’re gonna correct this now.” He held the end of the plug and pushed it in a little more, moved it around a bit, only to hear his boy gasp when it brushed his sweet spot. Then he slowly started pulling it out, watching in amazement as his rim stretched to allow the thickest part of the toy to come out. Once it was completely out, his hole gaped for a few seconds, before clenching furiously around nothing.

The kneeling position was hard on his knees, but his prince deserved nothing less, so stayed there and leaned in, licking the wet, quivering hole, eliciting a desperate moan from Peter, as he held his own knees in an attempt to keep his legs spread open. Tony gripped his thin waist, fingers digging into his soft flesh, hard enough to leave marks, and tried to fuck his tongue inside him. Since it was already a little loose from the toy, it gave in and he was able to lick inside him, and the boy cried out in pleasure, rocking his hips against his mouth.

“Oh, I missed this, Tony… I missed this…” He mumbled, arching his back, and the older man kept going, tongue buried inside his hole, fucking and licking it, biting his ass cheeks carefully when the young man tried to close his thighs around his head. He tasted delicious and smelled amazing. Tony made his way up to his ball as he pressed two fingers into his hole. They went in with barely any resistance as the boy moaned desperately when Tony sucked his balls into his mouth.

Peter writhed on the chair, hands buried in the older man’s hair, trying to pull him closer, small whimpers leaving his mouth every time the man’s fingers brushed his prostate. Tony licked his way back to his hole, as he tried to fuck it with both his tongue and fingers, until he could see Peter was way too close to the edge.

He got up from the floor and undid his pants. As soon as his cock sprung free, Peter launched himself at it, grabbing it with one hand and sucking the head into his mouth, like a starving man. Tony’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he groaned, burying his fingers in his wild curls and tugging just a little, enough to prevent him from deep-throating his cock – he probably wouldn’t last long if he did, sometimes he thought he might come just from rimming him.

He held his head with both hands, setting a steady pace, and Peter obeyed happily. He licked the tip of his cock, kissed it gently, then went back to sucking as one of his hands came up to play with the older man’s heavy balls – he hadn’t come in days. He took a deep breath and allowed his boy to have his fun for a while, but then pushed him gently and lifted him from the chair, taking a seat himself.

“Come sit on your throne, my prince.” He grinned devilishly, and Peter didn’t even blink an as he placed a knee on each side of Tony’s thighs, reaching behind himself to guide his cock inside.

“Oh, fuck,” He cried, as he sank down onto his cock, mouth hanging open, head thrown back in ecstasy. Tony watched, mesmerized, as the boy took him in slowly, inch by inch, until his cock was completely sheathed inside his tight heat. Peter’s inner walls massaged him as his little hole fluttered, trying to adjust to his girth, and he made little sounds of pain and pleasure.

“You’re perfect, baby, perfect for me,” Tony held his face by the cheeks and brought him closer, licking his lips open to kiss him messily and hungrily. He’d missed him, too, his soft skin, his high-pitched voice, his tiny hands stroking his face, the bouncy, sweet-smelling curls. Peter truly belonged in another world, and although he should feel completely out of place in Tony’s arms, nothing ever felt so right in his life.

The younger man started moving after a few seconds, whimpering against Tony’s lips as he rocked his hips back and forth, up and down. His hands clutched the back of the chair as he bounced on the older man’s cock, following the pace set by Tony’s hands on his hips. The older man slapped his ass once, twice, only to see the boy coming undone, biting his lips and trying to stop himself from screaming.

“Let me hear you, baby,” he grunted, fucking up into him as he bit the younger man’s lips, holding his neck with a hand. When he slapped him a third time, Peter couldn’t hold it in anymore, he screamed the older man’s name as he came with a blinding force, arching his back and gripping his shoulders. If the sight of Peter out of his mind with pleasure wasn’t enough to push him over the edge, the way he clenched his hole on his cock would do it. The older man followed suit, as he grunted against the boy’s neck, leaving marks on his skin.

Peter went limp in his arms, completely relaxed and safe, arms wrapped around his shoulders as Tony held him close, protectively. If it were up to him, Peter would never leave the penthouse, he’d quit his job, and school, and be right there where Tony could look after him. But of course he was a feisty little one, so it wasn’t up to Tony.

“Have you eaten, little one?” He whispered, placing soft kisses on his shoulders and neck, and the boy shuddered.

“No, I was waiting for you.” He whispered back, snuggling further into his arms. “But now I’m sleepy.”

“Poor baby.” He placed a kiss on his temple. “Why don’t you take a nap while I cook you some Bucatini Carbonara, huh? Isn’t that your favorite?”

“No, I’ll cook, you always cook for me,” he mumbled against his neck and Tony could barely understand what he said.

“But you’re sleepy, baby. Besides, you’re a terrible cook on a good day.” Tony chuckled, feeling the boy laughing against his chest.

“Fine, I’ll help, then,” he compromised, pecking his lips.

“Sounds great.”

Peter carefully lifted off of his cock, then stepped out of the chair, hurrying to the bathroom. Tony watched, heart clenching, as his boy walked away. He squeezed his eyes shut for a minute, trying to rein in the feeling of dread that overtook him as he imagined Peter in danger, held captive by someone like him, someone as cruel and heartless as him, someone who would torture him, make him suffer, just to get to Tony. He opened his eyes wide, feeling helpless, as he realized there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to protect him. He’d give away his entire kingdom, he’d give his own life in exchange for his.

Peter came back to the living room, still wearing his old t-shirt, a huge grin on his face as he rambled about school. Tony smiled to himself. He was worth it.

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader and Sam x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 31

It felt like an eternity had passed before anyone had showed up. I was bouncing my knees nervously while watching out the windshield of the jet. It was Steve and James who ran into the hangar. T'challa was hot on their heels but so was Nat. I watched as Nat exchanged a few quick words with them then turned to face T'challa.

Steve and James ran onto the deck of the jet. Steve took the pilot seat next to me while James sat behind Steve. We all strapped in quickly since I already had everything ready for them. Just as Steve started to lift the jet off the ground I saw T'challa push past Nat then jump towards the jet. He must have missed because I didn't see or hear anything. Steve took off soaring quickly over the airport. I glanced to the side seeing Rhodey coming up beside us.

"Rhodey" I said aloud.

Steve glanced in my direction immediately noticing Rhodey flying next to us. He grabbed the handle shoving it upwards. The force pushed me back in my seat as we accelerated leaving Rhodey and the airport behind us.

"Where's Sam?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

Steve sighed as he glanced back to James.

"He sacrificed himself so Buck and I could make it to the jet." Steve answered quietly.

I didn't dare ask anything else. I didn't want to know. I knew Sam wasn't dead. Tony and the others would have never went that far but I didn't want to know what was going to happen to Sam, Clint, Wanda, and the new guy. I had to keep my mind clear. For now at least.

Most of the trip was silent unless James was giving some kind of directions to Steve. It wasn't until we finally reached the snow capped mountains that James sighed.

"What's gonna happen to your friends?" He asked Steve quietly.

Steve was the one to sigh this time.

"Whatever it is, I'll deal with it." Steve said simply.

I could see the hesitation in his eyes. He didn't want to say he hoped he could deal with it which was probably closer to the truth.

"I don't know if I'm worth all this, Steve." James said guilt clear all over his face.

I turned around in my seat to face him. He was looking down like he couldn't bare to look at either of us.

"What you did, all those years, it wasn't you. You didn't have a choice." Steve told him with a glance backwards.

"I know. But I did it." James practically grumbled.

"James Buchanan Barnes stop it. You can sit there and drown in guilt and self pity for everything that happened or you can man up and do something to try to make up for it." I said sternly.

James looked surprised but Steve chuckled softly. James gave me a small smirk then nodded. I knew it wouldn't be that easy but I had to try. I knew James' guilt would be much harder to fix.

Before I knew it Steve was landing the jet next to some kind of snow mobile on top of one of the snow covered mountains. As soon as the jet was on the ground we were unstrapping ourselves. James and I were the first ones up. He was quick to pull open the hidden self that was intended for Natasha. He pulled out two guns handing one to me then taking one for himself. After closing the shelf back we met Steve at the bay door. He pressed the button making the door start to open slowly.

"Remember that time we had to ride back from Rockaway Beach in the back of that freezer truck?" Steve asked with a hint of a smile.

I didn't know the memory personally but the two of them had told me about that day. I had to stay home and help with Gracie that day.

"Was that the time we used our train money to buy hot dogs?" James asked with a smirk.

Steve chuckled softly.

"You blew three bucks trying to win that stuffed bear for a redhead." Steve corrected him.

A small wave of jealously swept over me at his words as James chuckled. I shook my head. That was way before any of this happened. No need to be jealous Willow.

"What was her name, again?" James asked.

"Dolores, you called her Dot." Steve shook his head.

"She's gotta be a hundred years old right now." James said softly.

"So are we pal." I told him with a small smile.

That made both men laugh and nod. We started down the ramp onto the snow and ice. The wind was wiping around us making me shiver. I was not dressed for snow. We walked a few feet away from the jet until we could see the entrance to the bunker. The door was clearly open.

"He can't have been here more than a few hours." Steve said with a slight unsure tone.

"Long enough to wake them up." James said simply.

A chill ran down my spine both from the cold and the thought of having to fight the guys James had described. We walked forward approaching the door hesitantly. James went inside first. His gun held up ready to fire. Steve was right behind him with his shield in hand. I took the rear keeping my gun as ready as I could.

We stepped into a small room with nothing but an old metal elevator. We got into the small space. I was crammed between both men with no room to move. The elevator moved quickly to my surprise. When it stopped Steve opened the metal cage barrier.

The building we stepped into was clearly old. Bits of the walls were chipped and cracked. Every surface was covered in dust and spider webs. Just the look of the place was eerie enough. We started up a small flight of stares. James leading, I was in the middle, and Steve took the rear. Just as James reached the top step a loud thud echoed through the building. All three of us whipped around staring back towards the elevator. The door creaked loudly.

"You ready?" Steve asked as he crouched below us.

His shield was covering most of his body. My gun was raised ready to fire. James' gun was aimed right over my shoulder. The metal elevator door was slowly pried open. When I saw who it was I didn't know how to feel. Should I be relieved or even more terrified?

The full head to tow Iron Man suit stepped into the hallway. He stopped then the face mask disappeared revealing the face of Tony Stark.

"You seem a little defensive." He said in his usual sarcastic tone.

"Its been a long day." Steve sighed.

None of us moved. We each kept our weapons at the ready and our eyes trained on Stark.

"At ease, soldiers. I'm not currently here for him." Tony said gesturing to James.

"Then why are you here?" Steve asked sternly.

Tony walked forward a few steps.

"Could be your story's not so crazy. Maybe. Ross has no idea I'm here. I'd like to keep it that way. Otherwise, I gotta arrest myself." Tony explained shrugging nonchalantly.

Steve stepped towards Tony caustiously.

"Well, that sounds like a lot of paperwork." Steve told him.

Tony scoffed playfully. Steve lowered his shield. I followed Steve's lead lowering my gun but James kept his aimed over my shoulder.

"Its good to see you, Tony." Steve said softly with a nod.

"You too, Cap." Tony smiled.

Tony then turned toward James and I.

"Hey, Manchurian Candidate, you're killing me. There's a truce here. You can drop-" Before Tony could finish Steve raised his hand towards James.

James instantly lowered his gun. The four of us made our way through the dusty building trying to find the man behind all of this and hopefully not a handful of murderous winter soldiers. The further in we went the worse the place looked. It certainly seemed something had happened here. Panels of glass were broken and shattered. Some had indents of bodies. We made our way down a narrow hall which opened up into a much larger room. Lights flickered on almost immediately illuminating several chambers like the ones I had been found in. They all hissed faintly as smoke drifted out from them. As far as I could see none of the soldiers had been woken up. Not yet at least.

"If its any comfort, they died in their sleep." A voice echoed over what sounded like a speaker.

We stepped further into the room to inspect the chambers. I noticed the small bullet holes right away. One hole in the glass and another in the man's forehead. He killed them? All of them?

"Did you really think I wanted more of you?" The voice questioned.

"What the hell?" James asked under his breath.

"I'm grateful to them, though. They brought you here." The voice said.

A small light flicked on in the back of the room illuminating the face of the doctor. Steve reacted instantly throwing his shield at him. All it did was make a loud thud then come flying right back at the Captain.

"Please, Captain. The Soviets built this chamber to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets." The doctor chuckled.

We all started slowly walking towards his illuminated face.

"I'm betting I could beat that." Tony told him confidently.

"Oh, I'm sure you could, Mr. Stark. Given time. But then you'd never know why you came." He smiled sinisterly.

"You killed innocent people in Vienna just to bring us here?" Steve asked in disbelief.

Steve walked ahead of us putting himself only inches from the glass the doctor was hiding behind.

"I've thought about nothing else for over a year. I studied you. I followed you. But now that you're standing here, I just realized, there's a bit of green in the blue of your eyes." The man said coldly then chuckled.

I stood next to James with my gun raised just like his. I tried hard not to let my confusion show on my face. I didn't understand this situation at all.

"How nice to find a flaw." He added.

"You're Sokovian. Is that what this is about?" Steve asked him.

"Sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. No. I'm here because I made a promise." He sneered at the Captain.

"You lost someone?" Steve asked.

"I lost everyone. And so will you." He spat.

A screen like an old computer monitor clicked on behind Steve. We all turned to face it.

"An empire toppled by its enemy can rise again. But one which crumbles from within? That's dead. Forever." He said menacingly.

The screen was static for a moment then showed a survelliance video of an old dirt road. Tony and I stepped closer to it.

"I know that road." Tony whispered.

He turned to the doctor.

"What is this?" He shouted.

I jumped slightly as a car suddenly appeared on screen as it crashed. A second later a motorcycle came onto the screen. The rider got off the bike as the driver's door opened. The biker effortlessly pulled open the trunk of the car. The driver, an older man with silver hair fell to his knees in the dirt. He started to crawl towards the other man.

"Please, help my wife." He begged weakly then coughed.

The biker stepped over to the man grabbing him by the hair of his head then pulled his face back for the camera to see. A small gasp escaped me. That was Howard Stark. A much older Howard Stark but it was him no doubt about it. Tony's entire body went ridged next to me.

"Sergeant Barnes" Howard croaked in shock.

My heart stopped as Tony's head snapped over to James. He was standing with his head hung low. He already knew what this was.

"Howard" a woman's voice cried.

I closed my eyes turning from the screen as James began to punch Howard in the face repeatedly. I only opened my eyes again when I heard the woman scream for Howard. James put the body back in the driver's seat then made his way to the woman on the other side. I felt the tears fall down my cheeks as I watched him choke the life out of her. Then he simply shot out the camera and the video ended.

—

Step Dad

A short story

I hear thrashing and screaming, I yearned for it to end, never did. That quite sucks not gonna lie.

I'm the big one, it's like I'm the chosen one in my family, could be both good or bad. I've got to take care of my siblings, like all the time. The big responsibilities always point in my direction. It's not all bad, I do have my fair share of fun. But for that same reason, I must set a good example. I can't really act the way I wanna most of the time, usually I've make-up on my face, covering the skin before it. It's kinda complicated.

This one time, my parents came into my room, they introduced me to someone, he was a tall white man, and was fairly well clothed. He was wearing these really nice shoes, and had a suit on that looked like it cost buck. I shook his big hand, it felt soft, and a bit warming. We talked for about 30 minutes, he was a fairly nice person, and my parents seemed to like him as well.

After that time was over, my dad went to the room, and grabbed some suitcases out from the closet, as he rolled them by, I felt my heart drop. They explained everything.

Quickly, I put my make-up on, before it was too late, it was. Once I saw my little brother and sister hugging the leg of my dad, begging him to stay, I washed it off naturally. 'Who is he to take the place of my dad?' This thought lingered in my head that night, I took some sleeping pills.

I avoided the man, I didn't want to talk to him, if I saw my mother close to him, I'd turn my head, cause I know how violent I can get. There was this one time, where I walked into the kitchen to get a snack, was playing Minecraft with my siblings, and there I saw the two, hugging and kissing. I, at that moment, remembered how my dad taught me to drive, how he taught me to build a nice dog house for our pet dog, which had died upon my dad's exit. I remembered every single second I spent with my father, the amazing role model he was, and snapped.

Back in the 8th grade, one of my good friends was playing bloody knuckles with someone. He totaled him. He then turned to me, and held his fist up, I didn't last two punches. He told me to start punching the walls at home, bit by bit, so that it wouldn't hurt and my fists would become stronger. In two months' time, my knuckles along with my punches, had become stronger than most boys in my school. I beat my friend, the only time I did too, cause he trained after that as well, and became much better than me. Though, I did beat just about anyone in school at bloody knuckles.

I clenched my fist, and I dropped my phone. This man was innocent, I just hated the fact that he wanted to replace the man who could never be replaced, ever. I felt like letting him know. I had never punched anything as hard as I could, since it'd probably be the end of my fist, but boy do I gotta say his cheek was soft. He fell to the ground and hit the stove with his head, my mom started to scream and push me back, each little shove she gave me, let me know how much she liked this man. They all hurt. I hadn't seen her do that with my dad in the past year, and he gets to do it in the first week? I couldn't settle with that, I ran out the house, and went to my grandma's house, where I began punching the tree in order to not break down in tears.

She gave me some hot cocoa, and let me spend the night there. She felt like she always had, like my grandma, so I felt comfortable, silently I sobbed. The next morning I got up and took a shower, my hands had a bunch of wounds in them from punching the tree bare fisted, and they really hurt to clean. They were also shaking, 'maybe I cracked a bone or something?' I didn't really care, my adrenaline wasn't going down anytime soon.

I was taking a jog outside around the house to clear my mind, when I see a tall man, with some really nice shoes, and a bruise on his cheek come by. 'Your mother sent me to get you.' I ignored him, for his sake. He sat down in a chair, and patted next to him, signaling for me to take a seat. I was thinking it was a bad pun, was he here to mock me? His face was so infuriating, the fact that it wasn't six feet under was pissing me off. On my next lap around the house, I kicked his chair over, his suit looked expensive. He smiled and chuckled, 'kids these days are quite funny.' Why? He must be a psycho, my reaction would be to get mad, or confused at least!

He began to jog alongside me, this man was starting to tick me off big time. I stopped running, grabbed his tie, and said 'Get out, and I mean out, you lay another finger on my mom and I'll kill you!' I tripped him, and continued my jog. I'd feel guilty, but I can't for someone who got my father kicked out of the house, nobody deserves to live after screwing with my family.

I returned home later that day, still a tad hesitant because of the incidents the day prior. My mom asked me to help her cook, she was making shrimp. She gave me the basic rundown of what she had going, and started cutting vegetables off to the side, we started talking about the usual, how much I annoyed her, and how my siblings were idiots. I hear the door open, and I get ready for disappointment, 'Hello everybody!!' it's a... playful voice?

'Where's my food you peasants?' My eyes lighten up, followed by tears. I rush over to hug my dad, started to sob in his arms. He had a black bag, that had chips in it, he always brought chips back home from time to time. He lied it down on the table, and not long after, my siblings came running and crying. 'Dad why did you leave!?' My little brother cried as he hugged him, my sister on the other side. I felt a sense of family, something I haven't felt in a long time. Through the open door walked a other entity, the tall man. I then snapped back into life, and became a bit sad that I wasn't seeing my dad every day, or that he wasn't showing me something. I didn't feed him, I let him eat a microwaved frozen food, I could not give a damn about his existence. Well, that's a lie, I'd prefer if he was gone.

A couple weeks went by, I was kinda getting used to ignoring the tall man in my house. One good thing is that I never saw him getting intimate with my mom. Could've been good or bad, cause I couldn't punch him, bummer. He was always at work, your typical nine to five corporate slave. So when he was gone, I'd spend time normally with my family. I video chatted my dad every day or two, and just talked about life, sometimes he'd show me how to wood work via video chat. I could live with this.

One day, he came back with a few boxes in his hands, and a letter, or at least that's what it looked like. He opened the boxes in front of my sister and brother, as well as my mom and I. Inside the link box, there was a super high quality drawling tablet, the exact one that my sister always wanted, and cracked jokes about. She took it and ran to her room to use it. In the blue box, there was this laptop, one that my little brother was talking about gettjng for ages, and wouldn't shut up about how good it was. He said thank you and ran to his room to use it. I was pissed, he was trying to buy us into liking him, and it was seeming to be quite effective. He opened a my box, it was keys to a car, specifically the car I always told my dad I was going to get when I got money, and got us out of this house, into a nice house. He always said he was gonna buy it for me, I felt conflicted.

'I know we've had our ups and downs, but I really do want to get along with you as my child, or maybe even just a friend.' I saw my mom out of the corner of my eye, she was tearing up, of happiness. I came back to my senses, and went back to my room, slammed the door shut. I knew I had let my mother down, there were like twenty different emotions circulating through me, they were wreaking havoc. I began to punch the walls, I started screaming, it was probably audible from miles away. I felt weird, something I had never felt before. It didn't seem healthy, but I didn't care. This feeling was new to me, I felt like dying over and over, but even then, that might've not been enough to suppress the pain. I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm gonna kill him, he will die!'

That night, I asked him to come talk to me outside. He looked excited. We went outside, and I took him to the back of the house. I had an itch on my lower back. 'So, what's up?' I didn't reply. 'You're uh, quite the mysterious one aren't you?' He chuckled a bit to himself, I didn't move a muscle. He began to talk about what he had for the future, how he was gonna move us out in like a month, and buy us everything we wanted. 'That's what my dad's gonna do.' I mumbled quietly. 'I beg your pardon?' He replied. I couldn't take it anymore. 'My dad's gonna buy us a house, he's gonna move us out!' I pulled out the pocket knife from the back of my pants and stabbed him in the chest.

His blood came rushing out shortly, I began to scream and cry, 'You will never be my dad!' I stabbed him time and time again, he didn't move after a while. My dad walked up behind me and patted me on the back, along with my mother, sister, and little brother. We spit on him together, and we started to chant, it was a happy chant. We danced around his corpse. I started to sweat intensely, my family began to fade away, still chanting, it turned louder and louder. They began to float away, I dropped to my knees, and the tall man was laughing at me, he pointed and laughed. I started to laugh, with tears running down my face, I took the knife and pointed it at me, that's when I heard the voice. 'Wake up! Jesus Christ you've been sleeping all morning!'

My mom woke me up, I got up and went to the table. I got a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and began to eat. My mom walked outside and began to talk to my aunt, 'So, I was able to get this puppy sold for about $150!' I overheard some of their conversation, I wanted a puppy. My dad walked in with a bag, 'Hello my dear children! I am awesome for I have brought the goodies!' I look inside the bag, and tell him that he forgot my hot chips. He quickly runs outside. I take the bag over to my sister and brother, where they get their bag of chips, and start munching away. Once I finish my cereal, I get ready for school. I brush my teeth, and put on a sweater. My mom passes by me on the phone with her sister, talking about something, I couldn't quite catch it. As I open the door, I see my dad chasing after my baby sister, who's face is covered in mud, and laughing away. 'I'm gonna brush your hair so hard!' He yells at her, I giggle to myself. My aunt is outside my house, playing jump rope with my cousin. I wonder who's winning. My sister walks past me, and looks at me. 'Another bad dream?' she asks. 'Yea, this one was hectic.'

Occupational Hazards

Barry Berkman x Reader

Three part series: It was just another job, he doesn't even had to kill anyone, but the way she looked at him was more dangerous than the bullets.

Part I Part II Part III

Angst with a happy ending

Warnings: Violence, cursing, blood, mention of abortion, stalkers.

Part III

"Someone got lucky" Natalie said when Barry entered his apartment, she was helping Nick with his lines for an audition and since the first pictures of his relationship with Y/N had emerged she always find an excuse to be near him and ask a million annoying questions "Although is kind of tacky to come to home with the same clothes from yesterday"

"No comment" That usually make her keep her distance but since he took forever to pour himself a coffee she followed him to the kitchen.

"So we were watching the nominations this morning, anything interesting to talk about it?" Somehow even when his job consisted in sell the lie he didn't felt comfortable talking about Y/N with his friends, and specially not that morning. He gave her a deadly glare and just walk inside his room.

Barry left the untouched coffee on his desk and collapsed on his bed, he wasn't tired, and the ideas revolving in his mind would keep him up for long enough.

They have watch several romantic comedies with wine and popcorn and then when they were discussing how impractical and unrealistic they were she apologized to him for the permanent damage that the article would cause in his attempts to get back to Sally, it wasn't strange since they have come to know about each other's past over the weeks, the strange part was that he was not actually concern about it. Sally had become a simple friend and he was sure even had to talk to him more often since Y/N came into his life, but he didn't had romantic feelings towards her anymore.

However the sudden realization that those feelings were gone because of the woman that was curled next to him, screaming at Cameron Diaz to run away from her idiot fiance; made him feel uneasy, he would have prefer to leave, but she was obviously anxious about the nominations the next morning so he agreed to take the couch, but she since she couldn't sleep they open another bottle of wine and start asking questions about each other.

He got to learn that the B&H menthol were her favorite cigarettes, but she was trying to quit and she actually only have one or two every couple weeks when she was to nervous, and he make himself a mental note to buy a package just in case. He told her about his favorite music, and a thing or two about her days in Afganistan, she told her how her mom was dying and her money was not to save her just to help her live her last days in least pain.

She asked about the most terrible thing he ever did and when he couldn't answer she went first.

"Do you want to know the real reason I broke up with Richard?" She said suddenly completely serious.

"You don't have to do that Y/N..."

"I want to, I feel like you have this weight on you and that you think of yourself as a monster, so do I. I may not be the trash human everyone think I am but that doesn't excuse what I have done. I have always hhave friends many friends men and women, and I even like some of them, that doesn't mean I sleep with them but for Richard every men I even talked to was someone I was fucking behind his back" She took one large drink of wine, it was clearly a painful memory "The thing I actually loved him, and I actually saw myself sharing my life with him, he was my agent back then and I could look over her rudeness most of the time... but then I got pregnant" She gave him a sad smile and he could see where the story was going so he remained silent even when he wanted to hold her. "He obviously didn't believe it could be his, and ask me to take care of it, or my life and my career and my mother treatment would be over so I did it. And don't get me wrong I know now that it was the right choice, believing I could have a family with that pig is ridiculous, but it wasn't my choice at the time and I don't know after that I just had to run away from him, I actually sleep with my costar, that's number 3 and use the scandal to break things with Richard, and now I'm here"

He hold her close to him and not thinking he started telling her about Korengal, about Moss and about Mayrbeck, she was comfortable to hold on to, she simply nodded and asked an occasional question about the time those things happened but she didn't judge him, and he eventually closed his own eyes and pretend for a moment that she was not paying him, that there was actually one human being who would love him not only despite his past, but also because of it. Someone who would feel safe enough with him, that she could sleep like that. He wanted to tell her that Sally was nice but she would never accept his truth, and she was like a getaway car, she had been the illusion to be Barry Block and leaving all behind, but her... Y/N came looking for Barry Berkman and she wasn't scared of him, but he also couldn't say it because he knew once things were over she would go back to his life and his little bubble will pop.

And that day was closer than ever, she was nominated as Outstanding supporting actress in a limited series or TV movie, and as she had said she had absolutely no chance to win because Maverick wouldn't let her, but the amount of opportunities that would come after if she get nominated would be enough to find a new agent, and walk away from that life, so she had been waiting to hear her name for months and now that it was finally there the look on her face was enough to turn down all of his precautions and he simply kiss her.

He take her by the neck in the middle of her excitement and simply put his lips onto hers and kiss her like she was the only thing he needed to survive, and he was only recovering his common sense when Y/N hold him tighter and kissed him back with the same intensity, he was happy beyond comprehension but reality find its way to his mind and eventually he let go. Y/N opened her mouth to say something but her phone start ringing with congratulations from her friends and that allowed them to have a minute to settle down.

"Don't worry about the suit, they are probably going to offer you one" She said to him finally after answering the phone the third time.

"Yeah sure, I am so happy for you. Congratulations" He was being honest, but he needed to acknowledge the kiss somehow "I'm so sorry I shouldn't..." for some reason apologizing for something he was not sorry for is what he did.

"Please don't apologize, it was nice, is being a long time since someone kissed me like that, say it was the heat of the moment, or that you simply felt like it, but don't be sorry about it because I'm not" The look she gave him, that's when he knew he was doomed, she wanted him, for how long? who could tell, but he was much of a coward to find out, so he make up an excuse and didn't even touch her when he said goodbye, and just walked away.

Fortunately the next weeks past in a blur, a couple days later their Variety interview was the subject of an angry call from Sally for not telling her, and endless banter and teasing from his classmates wich lead to shaming him into bet on her in Jermaine Emmy's pool.

He had tell the story of how they met more times than he could remember, and there was little to no time to be alone with her, other than the choreographed PDA they had agreed beforehand, and she even had to leave for two weeks to New York for another set of endless interviews, on wich she made sure to get his name out at least once, he watched them and pretend that he was the actual loving boyfriend waiting for her return even when his mind kept reminding him he was not.

He had told her everything and she didn't judge him, and his heart was holding the hope that maybe, just maybe in the end she could be a friend since he felt undeserving of something else, and by the time he was at her place waiting for her to go to the ceremony he had already promised himself he would be there for her no matter what.

The award ceremony was magic in itself, walking next to her on the red carpet and watching her like the star she was in the elegant black gown she had chosen was more than enough for him, but there were also a lot of famous people who surprisingly treated him as if he belonged, and in the middle of that crowd he could finally found a moment of intimacy with her on the way she nervously hold his hand whenever Richard looked their way and when he got upstaged to introduce the Award Y/N was nominated in, he was attractive and charismatic but the smug on the bastard face when he read her name on the nominations and then when he finally said the winner (Zoe Saldana or someone like that) were enough to make his blood boil and mentally mark a bullet with his name on it.

***

"I just lose 300 grand" He whispered in your ear and you could smell a hint of perfume, it was perfect.

"Well next time bet against me, and listen to me when I talk" you fixed his bow tie as an excuse to touch him, he looked unrealistically hot, the tux the hair, even the incipient beard that had started to grow look fantastic on him. "I hate after parties, but Adrian says we should make an appearance and then we can get out of there"

He nodded and you could feel him trembling under your hands, he had been weird since the kiss and you can understand why, but you wanted to reassure him that you didn't give a fuck about his past, that Block or Berkman or whatever you only cared for Barry, that there was something in him that make you feel happy, that he calling out your bullshit was something you needed and that that kiss was the single most happy moment you ever had.

They drove you to the after party and you allowed the crowd to separate you from him while you mapped out in your mind how to talk to him on the way home, and then you felt it, the stench of bourbon and cigars, and a big hand pulling from her arm with strength, you paralyzed for a moment and the promise you had made yourself to kick his nuts the way Barry teach you fly away when he got in the middle of your conversation with a Mexican Director famous for not giving a crap about Hollywood who had a project on Netflix.

"Oh please don't let this man drag you tho those movies actual cinema is here in Hollywood, not paying monthly to watch on your leaving room" He smiled like a hyena and you desperately try to avoid him, but pull you closer and Alfonso simply gave you his card discreetly and walked away. "Quite the spectacle you have put on with the little soldier" he said letting go of your arm, but still blocking your way with his body. "Too bad is about to be over."

"Oh I was not aware you have a saying in when or for how long I am with someone" you spat at him desperately looking for someone to come closer so you could make an escape, but your heart broke when you saw Barry talking happily with whom you assume was his Sally Reed, and you felt alone and defeated and he must have seen that in your eyes because his poisonous tongue kept talking.

"He is good looking I give you that" he said looking in his direction and then back at you holding your chin and you fight with all your strength to not cry right there "But he is just a looser from Ohio, who was caught in the middle of all this glamour" he made a round movement with his hand and then pointed at you "And you are a drinking, smoking whore, you are not going to be the respectable wife of a soldier and retire to live in the suburban house with the white fence. Wake up from your dream Y/N, you need to be with a men who knows how to treat you and how to please you" His hand was on your waist and you felt disgusted by his touch and you cursed yourself for not screaming then and there to fuck off "Tell me little one, does your soldier know how to make you scream? Or does he bore you to death in bed" He was drunk it was obvious and you could feel his breath approaching you and could anticipate his movement, he was going to kiss you.

"Well I haven't recieved complaints" Barry's voice take you out of your trance state and you move away from Richard, he had put his hand on his shoulder and was pressing him steadily in his place, he was way taller and Richard almost look funny next to him "But we hardly ever make it to the bed do we babe?" He possessively take you by the waist and pull you away from him straight to his lips and kissed you voraciously, something that people around you actually notice because you could hear a couple of whistles.

"Are you okay?" He whispered quiet enough so only you could hear and you nodded yes "Such a pleasure to meet you finally, Barry Berkman" He offered his hand and Richard took it trying to put out his charm again.

"The famous Barry, so you are the man taking away our beautiful Y/N to make her a decent woman" He teased you again. You were no longer shaking and Barry's presence gave you courage.

"I think is the other way around" You search inside his jacket for a pack of cigarettes you saw him put there earlier an took one to your mouth "I'm trying to make this beautiful man and indecent creature" Barry quickly offered you fire and then he looked to Richard who was obviously angry at him.

"And you are succeeding honey, anyway I'm going to have to take her away for good, bye Richard" He didn't give him a chance to respond and you were already walking towards Sally, she was there as the plus one of her costar in Richard's movie and she was a lovely person, who only wanted to reassure you she and Barry were done, offered you her friendship and asking for acting advice.

"You want to get out of here?" You said once you have talked to almost everyone but this time Barry make sure to not leave your side in case Maverick come close again.

You walked outside and the car was waiting for you, and different from other times he didn't let your hand go once you were inside, instead he put his arm around you and hold you closer to him.

"I'm so sorry, I paralyzed, I was freaking out and I didn't pushing away, I feel so ashamed" you started speaking against his chest with tears finally coming from your eyes.

"Hey there, it's okay" He patted your back and kissed the top of your head, his voice was calming like a balm taking away the pain "That guy is a jerk, at least he is getting the point now, you were right. What kind of asswhole needs to see a woman with another man in order to understand she doesn't want him?"

"We hardly make it to the bed?" You said smiling "I liked that one, the look on his face"

"I couldn't think anything else, was it too much?" He clearly was nervous about kissing you but this time you were not letting him go so easily.

"Maybe, would you consider this too much?" You pull his face down to kiss him but he didn't move, he kissed you back, not as theatrical as before and his lips felt soft on yours and you could feel his hand on your neck holding you close to him and the other caressing your hair, it felt like pure electricity and little by little he started pushing his tongue inside of yours, and you were surprised by the dominant way he kissed you and the tender way he was holding you.

You were interrupted once the driver announced you were home and once you were inside you could see him burying his hands in his pockets like he didn't know what to do with them.

"We shouldn't" He said finally but his eyes meant something else "I mean I'm still working for you"

"And you say you were no prostitute" you smile at him, using him as support so you could take off your heels and tossed them somewhere in the living room "Are you coming or not?" You take his hand and point to the staircase with your head.

"Yes ma'am" he answered with a grin a followed you upstairs leaving tender kisses in your bare shoulders.

***

Barry wake up with her naked body still wrapped around him, her dress that had been almost impossible to take off was in the floor in some corner and he went to put on his boxers so he could get downstairs, it was 7:00 am and he wanted to make her breakfast, even if he couldn't figure out his way in the kitchen, but he chose to take a leak first.

He was walking out of the bathroom, with the memories of the previous night burning in the back of his head and then he listened it, the familiar sound of a gun going off and he panicked, because it wasn't in his hands, and then a stinging pain in his shoulder, an actual relief because whoever was shooting didn't knew what their were doing, he collapsed on his back next to de bed and hit his head making all blurry but he was listening.

The noise wake Y/N and Barry could hear her scream when she saw him bleeding, and his mind was only thinking in fighting back, then the lights turned on and he could see her, the figure shaking at the door holding the gun.

"Why? Why did you had to choose him?" Adrian's voice had a high pitch on it "I was the one supposed to comfort you, and to hold your hand last night Y/N!!!" She shot at her but thankfully she was terrible and she missed, barry didn't move waiting for a moment to reach for one of the guns he had hide in her room months ago, begging to not bleed out before he could.

"Leave that alone for once" Maverick voice said from the door "And you get dress" He tossed a night gown to Y/N that was covering herself with a bedsheet, he hit Adrian on the face making her fall to the ground and took the gun away from her hands.

"What the fuck Richard?" Y/N scream at him, and she put on the gown "What the fuck are you doing in my house" She attempt to run towards Barry but he stopped her.

"Oh I wouldn't do that sugar" He sounded drunk or something else, but he had enough coordination to hold the gun better than Adrian that now was a crying mess in a corner. "Sit here and don't move" He forced her to sit on the bed and went to were Barry was trying o stand with a hand holding on the bed. "Come on soldier sit with your whore"

"Adrian why did you do this?" Y/N was talking to the young girl, but she couldn't even look at them she was curled in the floor sobbing and holding herself. "I cared for you, you were like my sister, I loved you"

"Oh, did you hear that?" Richard laughed and went to pick Adrian by the hair and forced her to look at Y/N "A sister, but that's not what you wanted right? You'll see Y/N this lady here found something interesting about your prince charming here, and out of her so called love for you she came to me to help her solve your problem, tell me sweetheart have this man told you why did he came home from the war? He is a fucking murderer." His words sound poisonous and Y/N look shocked, but Barry new it was more about how he got that information than the actual fact that Barry had killed someone.

"What do you want Richard?" She said and her voice was soft, she even move apart from Barry in what he hoped was pretend disgust "What are you talking about?"

"This guy you chose killed an innocent man and walked away with it, and your lovely friend here was so worry about you that last night she was too drunk to shut up, so this morning she convinced me to came here and help her get you to safety, but oh no, we are too late" he started pacing around the room making an fake distressed face, and he ignored Barry for a moment "When I got here he had already snapped, he killed your friend..." He pointed the gun to Adrian's head an ignored Y/N pleas and simply killed her "And then I have trouble imagining what could have happened" He had a sadistic grin and took Y/N by the hair and force her to kiss him. "What do you think? He killed himself when he saw what he did?" He pointed his gun at Barry's head who was looking down with his hands behind his back "Or the coward shot you before he killed himself?" He caressed her face with the smoking gun and enjoyed the terror in her face "What is it going to be dear?" He said trying to force another kiss on her.

"Maybe think better asswhole" Barry said and out of nowhere he took the gun frrom his hand an shot him in the head under the scared face of Y/N and even when he was relieved he had saved her he could assume he had lost her forever.

***

The official version was that Richard was high on many different substances, he broke into your house and tried to kill you but Barry took that bullet and then when Adrian tried to calm him down he killed her and out of fear and his agitated mental state he end up blowing up his brains.

There was no reason to disbelief you, he had make a scene at the party the previous night when you left and the gun was registered, and in his house they found footage of your apartment entrance and some pictures taken from the front building as Barry had suspected.

After some harsh couple of months and a very well elaborated lie things were settled down and you even were about to start working on a new independent film.

Everything was perfect but you still missed him, you haven't been able to manage the initial shock and he interpreted as you being too disgusted by his lifestyle and he choose to go back to his anonymous life, to his acting class and being Barry Block, even when press won't leave him alone for days.

A year passed in a blur and you felt hurt that he didn't called you, and you were too proud to look for him, and suddenly one day, Sally walked in for a table read for the movie, and after it was over, and after impressing everyone there including you she timidly approach.

"Hi, I don't want to be awful, but do you remember meeting me?" She said and it take you by surprise the humility she showed.

"Sure you were Barry's friend right?" You said hiding the pain his name produced in your heart.

"Oh my god you remember that's so sweet of you, I just wanted to say how glad I am to work with you, you are such an inspiration" She seemed sincere but you wanted to run away from everything that could remained you of him "And I'm sorry it didn't work out for you guys, I mean he is still obviously in love with you, but he is such a non violent guy that I get why he walked away, but you are a fighter and I just wanted to say I respect you so much"

You smiled and change the subject, and praise her acting buying you enough time to process her words and a glimpse of hope start shining, maybe it was not all lost.

***

"I'm lady Macbeth, again" Natalie's voice was proud of herself, this was the third time they were doing the Shakespearean night but this time he hadn't get Macbeth like the previous year but Benedick in a scene from Much ado about nothing, a comedy since Gene thought he needed to experiment more with that genre, and he had cast Saha as Beatrice, but she didn't have the slightest interest since he had actually given her a second role as Helena in Midsummer.

By the time he was ready to come out in scene and declare his love for Beatrice the woman looking against him was clearly not Sasha but he could have known her figure in any place and so he went and started talking not sure of what to expect.

BENEDICK: I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is not that strange?

BEATRICE: As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not;

I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.

BENEDICK: By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.

BEATRICE: Do not swear, and eat it.

BENEDICK: I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.

BEATRICE: Will you not eat your word?

BENEDICK: With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee.

BEATRICE: Why, then, God forgive me!

BENEDICK: What offence, sweet Beatrice?

BEATRICE: You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest I loved you.

BENEDICK: And do it with all thy heart.

BEATRICE: I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.

BENEDICK: Come, bid me do any thing for thee.

BEATRICE: Kill Claudio.

The last line resonated in his mind for a moment, but she turned to the audience to make a bow and so did he happy to receive the applause, and she went to take his hand on hers and take one more bow before leaving the stage to Natalie.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her once they were apart from everyone.

"Playing Beatrice, Gene is an old friend of mine, I'm surprised he didn't told you, he loves to name drop, I asked him if I could read for this, I do miss theater you know?" She said finding a chair to sit on, the costume looked beautiful on her.

"That's not what I meant" He started keeping his distance.

"You never called, I went to pick you from the hospital and you leave before I got there, you avoid my calls..." Y/N was holding her hands together nervously. "

"I didn't think I should be around you, and Richard was no longer a threat" he said giving in and sitting next to her. "I do my job and walk away, that's how it works".

"Don't call it a work you didn't get paid" She said hurt by his words and he regretted immediately "We both know it wasn't that anymore that night... Barry I would not give you the crappy speech of how much I love you, but I do, I love you, with all the shitty parts that come along with you, if anything I love you more about those, am sorry I freaked out at the moment but I was sure he was going to kill you, I wasn't scared for me nor of you, for you plenty"

He remained silent for a moment and then he finally stood up, and for a moment she thought he would walk away, but he didn't.

"Do you want to get coffee?" He asked simply.

"Will you hold the mug like a normal person?" She joked.

"I'll ask for a paper cup with no handle if it's better" he said extending his hand to her. "And for what is worth, I love you too"

She took his hand and walked with him into the night, but he couldn't feel the darkness anymore, and the future looked bright for once.

The end

I liked this a lot, I hope you enjoy it

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

jungkook - water park

«an endless pool of love that’s as

deep as the ocean»

I woke up because of my alarm. I shut it off and turned around on my bed so I could fall asleep again. After what felt like a minute, my phone started to ring. Someone was calling me.

I groaned as I grabbed my phone and answered the call, without looking who was calling.

— Whoever this is, I hope you have a good excuse for waking me up — I said, mad.

— Wow [y/n], relax. It's me, Jungkook — hearing his voice made me smile, even though I was mad at him.

— And why are you calling so early? — I said while looking at the clock, 08:30.

— Did you really forget? — he laughed. Music to my ears —. I am supposed to pick you up in less than two hours. So we can go to the water park with the guys, remember?

— Fuck, I forgot — we've planned this like two months ago because we were all pretty excited for the summer. We even reserved a water park all to ourselves.

— Me, as your best friend, knew that you were going to forget about it, so I decided to call and wake you up. Now go and get ready, I'll be there soon — he hanged up without letting me protest or say anything. I sighed and got out of my bed, directing myself to the bathroom.

I fulfilled my necessities, and headed back to my bedroom to search for the perfect outfit. It was hot outside, so I thought some shorts would be just fine, along with a white top. For the bikini, I just decided myself for my favorite. I feel confident on it.

I didn't do a lot with my hair, just a ponytail. I grabbed a bag and put some important things in there, such as sun cream, sunglasses, money, a book and a phone charger. You never know.

I headed to the kitchen since I was starving. I left my bag on one of the chairs and grabbed some cereals. While I was eating, I heard the sound of a door opening. I wasn't scared because I knew it was Jungkook, since he had the key to my place.

— Hey you — he said as he walked in my direction, and sat next to me. After that he took my spoon and ate of my cereal —. Are you ready? — he said with food on his mouth. I shoved him away, and he almost fell.

— Yes, I'm ready — I said as I laughed. I washed and dried my plate.

— That's good. We still need to go to the grocery shop, since we are supposed to buy the snacks.

We left my apartment and got into Jungkook's car. On the way we listened and singed to Justin Bieber, something we always did.

I loved to hear him sing. His voice was the one of an angel, it made me feel like I was in heaven.

At the grocery shop, we had some problems. We couldn't decide what to buy, since we wanted different things. But at the end we just bought everything.

— Don't you think it is too much? — asked Jungkook while we were leaving the stuff in his car.

— Oh no, I'm sure Jin will make sure that there is nothing left at the end of the evening — we both laughed at my comment because we knew I was right.

On our way to the water park I didn't felt like singing, I was lost in my thoughts. Luckily, Jungkook didn't tried to talk to me. He was driving while humming to the songs on the radio.

I looked at him without him noticing. I was deeply in love with him. Already two years of this shit. And I still haven't found the courage to confess to him. I think I never will.

We arrived at the water park, where six boys were already waiting for us.

— Finally! What took you guys so long? — asked the smallest of them, Jimin. I rolled my eyes.

— I bet they were busy with something else — said Jin, the older one, joking. I felt my cheeks burning.

— Guys stop, we just couldn't decide what to get — said Jungkook, entering the water park along with Taehyung. I was a little upset, but i shook it off. It was obvious that he didn't felt that way about me.

The rest of us followed them inside. They all went to get change into their bathsuits and I stood there. I actually needed help to get into my bikini.

— Aren't you going to change? — I turned around to see Yoongi standing there in his bathing suit. I was really close to him since we both couldn't express our feelings well.

— I actually need help — I said, a little embarrased —. Would you mind?

— Sure, let's go — I could tell he was also a bit embarrased but I was thankful that he still wanted to help me.

I smiled at him and we went to the bathroom together. I felt some eyes on us, but I didn't care. I was sure the boys were just curious.

I entered a cabin and changed into my bikini. I got out and turned my back to Yoongi so he could tie it up. When he was ready I turned around and bowed, thanking him.

He smiled at me and we both got out of the bathroom. I could feel six pairs of eyes on me. I was actually shy since it was the first time they saw me in a bikini.

They were all shocked, but I could only focus on Jungkook. He was standing there, his mouth slightly open. He looked so cute.

— Wow — that was the only thing that came out of his mouth. But it was enough to make my face go red.

— Looking good [y/n] — said Hoseok smiling.

— You should wear that more often — said Taehyung winking at me. I rolled my eyes at his comment, smiling.

— Could you guys stop? — I said laughing and going straight to the pool. The day was just getting started.

Hours later, I found myself laying on my towel, letting the sun warm my body. Some of the boys were also on their towels, listening to music or reading, but others were still on the pool.

My eyes landed on Jungkook. He was on the pool with Taehyung and Jimin, playing some stupid games. I smiled unconsciously.

— When are you going to tell him?  — I turned around to find the owner of the voice. I sighed. It was Namjoon.

— What are you talking about?

— C'mon [y/n], you know exactly what I'm talking about — he leaned closer to me —. When are you going to tell Jungkook that you are in love with him?

— How about never? — I said, frustrated. I wasn't mad at him for talking about this, but I was mad at myself. Mad because I wasn't brave enough.

— You need to tell him.

— No, I don't — I drove a hand through my hair and sighed —. Have you seen the girls he dated? Damn Namjoon, I have no chances with him.

— That's what you think. He's looking at us right now and I would say he's jealous — I dissimulately looked at Jungkook. Yes, he was looking at us, but I didn't recognize any jealousy on his eyes.

— He just wants to know what we're talking about. You know how curious he is.

— You are too blind [y/n] — he said as he laughed —. What did he say about the date?

— I haven't told him about it... — I said as I bited my lower lip.

— I thought you already told him! I mean, he's your best friend. But instead you go and tell me about it.

— I know! I just didn't feel like it was necessary. He doesn't have to know.

— I have an idea — I looked at him with eyebrows raised. This wouldn't end up well —. Let's bring up your date while we're all together and see how he reacts.

— I don't know Namjoon, your plans aren't always the best.

— Just try it out [y/n], you won't lose anything — he looked at me and begged me with his hands. I just laughed and nodded. He was right, I needed to take a risk.

A while later we were all sitting near the pool, enjoying the rays of sunshine. Namjoon looked at me, signalizing that the plan was going to start.

— So [y/n], how was your week? — he asked. It was a simple question, so nobody could guess it was all planned.

— It was good. I actually had a date — I said shyly while looking away.

— A date? — I heard Jungkook's voice but I couldn't look at him.

— Oh my god, your first date! You need to tell us everything!! — said Hoseok super excited. I was expecting that.

— Well, his name is Jonah and he's twenty years old. He's a transfer student from Australia — everyone was looking at me. They were so noisy when it came to others' lifes —. I met him two weeks ago at the coffee shop I work and we exchanged numbers.

— When was the date? And how did it go? — asked Jimin, also very curious.

— Our little [y/n] is all grown up — said Jin, faking a tear. I laughed.

— The date was three days ago. And it was... good — I didn't sound really convincing but that was the truth —. He picked me up and then took me to a restaurant. We talked and got to know each other. But if I'm being honest with you guys, I actually didn't feel any sparks between us.

— And what are you going to do now? — Yoongi asked. He was listening to everything I had to say.

— Well... He actually asked me out again. He wants to go on a second date and I couldn't tell him no. We're meeting tomorrow.

— But, why are you going out with him again if you didn't feel anything on the first date?

— I don't know Tae. I want to give him another chance. Maybe I feel the sparks this time — honestly, I wasn't hoping for it.

When Jonah asked me out, I said yes because I wanted to see if he could change my mind about Jungkook. But, like I expected, he didn't. He was a really nice guy, but he wasn't Jungkook.

— Let her be. She's old enough to do what she wants — said Namjoon, finalizing the conversation about my date. He then looked at me, and with his eyes he told me «i was right».

And he was. Jungkook didn't talked to me for the rest of the evening. When the sun started to get down, we decided to grab our stuff and go home.

I was supposed to go with Jungkook, but I wasn't really sure if that was still going on. I hugged the boys, telling them to meet again soon.

— Are you coming? — I turned around and saw Jungkook standing right next to his car, looking at me with eyebrows raised.

— Yes — the last one I hugged was Namjoon.

— Don't forget to tell me everything — I laughed as an answer to his stupid comment.

— See you guys!

Jungkook waved to the boys and got into the car without saying anything. I smiled at them and got into the car too. The radio wasn't on during the whole drive, which made me anxious. What was going on with him? Was he really jealous? Because of me?

I shaked my head slightly to forget about my thoughts and as I looked through the window I could see that we had already passed my house.

— Jungkook, my house was a couple of streets behind.

— I know.

— Then why didn't you stop?

— I want to show you something — this was so unexpected. I was getting really nervous. Maybe I could use this chance and finally confess to him? No, forget it. My feelings will go to the grave with me.

The car stopped. I looked at the window and smiled. It was the park where we met three years ago. It was beautiful back then, but right now the sunset made it look even more pretty.

I realized Jungkook was already getting out of the car so I did the same. He started walking towards the park, so I had to run a little to catch up.

— Why didn't you tell me about the date? — and there was the question. Honestly, I didn't knew why. I guess I felt like I betrayed my feelings towards him so I didn't wanted to tell him and hurt him. But otherwise, he doesn't even know I'm in love with him.

— I don't know... I didn't think it was that important. Are you mad? — I said looking away.

— Yes. I always told you about my love life, such as dates and relationships. But then you go and have your first date and don't even tell me about it — he drove his hand through his hair. He looked so upset.

— Is that the only reason? — wait, did I said that out loud? Someone please kill me.

He didn't answer, instead he kept walking. I stand still, wondering why I had to be such an idiot. I turned around and started walking towards my house. I felt some tears coming out of my face, but I quickly wiped them away with my hand.

— [y/n]! Where are you going? — I heard his footsteps getting closer and in one second he was grabbing my arm, making me look at him —. Did you cry?

I couldn't answer, so instead I stared at him. He looked so good. My heart broke a little knowing that he'd never felt the same for me.

— No — he sighed —, that wasn't the only reason. I'm mad at you for not telling me, yes. But I'm way more angry at the thought of you having a date with someone else, someone that's not me — did he really said that? —. I know you're having another date with him tomorrow, but... Please [y/n], don't go.

He came closer to me, but I stepped away.

— Why Jungkook? Tell me, why shouldn't I go? — he bited his lip —. Give me a good reason.

— Because I'm in love with you.

— Stop joking Jungkook — I felt some tears running out of my eyes —. I'm nothing compared to the girls you use to date.

— Exactly, you're way better than them — he came closer and rested his hand on my cheek, wiping my tears —. I realized I was in love with you the day Nao broke up with me. That day, I finally realized that it was you. All the time going on dates trying to find the right girl, when she was by my side the whole time. I love you [y/n].

He caressed my cheek and as I closed my eyes, I felt his lips against mine. It was a kiss that showed all our feelings for each other, feelings that were hidden for years.

— I love you too.

Elopement || Hemslecki (Nov 01)

Chris: Vegas. The place where what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Only that proved difficult when someone as known as him walked through the airport and hotel. It was no short effort of asking fans for his privacy and that he'd take pictures with pretty much each and everyone that he could reasonably manage if they kept it off Twitter, Instagram and any other social media for at least 48 hours. He didn't need anything ruining Gen and his wedding. Especially if someone found out that could potentially try and ruin things. It seemed to take forever just to manage his way to the hotel front desk and ask for one of the private presidential suites on its own floor, wanting as much privacy as possible.

Gen: Were they moving fast? Maybe, but Gen was at the point in her life where if she wanted something she was going to do it. She had devoted her life to Jared and the kids, relocated to Austin so Jared could be in his home and now she wanted to live her life for her. She and Jared weren't poor but they certainly didn't have money like Chris seemed to. When they walked into the huge suite she walked over to the window to look at the view. "You know you don't have to spend all your money on me," she meant it too. She was a simple girl and was after love, not material things.

Chris: "Today and the next few days are special, I wanted the whole package." Once Chris set his mind to something he did it. "Annnd a little secret I've stayed here before, Chris Hemsworth spotted at this hotel at some point at the end of our trip, good publicity for them, and I get some perks out of my job." It wasn't like he got the room for free but certainly not at the price that anyone else would pay. He didn't do it often but it happened and for this occasion he'd accept it. "Enjoy it, it's our night. Whatever we want, it's ours." He smiled.

Gen: Gen felt very overwhelmed with the happiness that kept washing over her. She turned around to look at him and smiled, "I'm going to take a quick shower and change into my dress." She had packed a simple white dress for the occasion, not needing anything fancy or flashy.

Chris: Nodding he moved over to his own suitcase and dug out the simple suit he had picked out for himself. It wasn't fancy, just a navy blue jacket and pants with a simple white button up. "We have to go pick out wedding bands before. Hopefully find something nice that'll go with your ring." He said as she headed toward the bathroom.

Gen: "Something very plain and simple would be ideal for me since I have this beautiful rock already. Maybe we can find two matching rings we both like." She kept the bathroom door opened while she showered and started to dry off. She only washed her body so her hair was still dry and it only took a minute to wipe down her body. A few minutes later she was dressed and putting her shoes on. She went over hair with the flat iron and touched up her makeup. "I'm ready."

Chris: "I'm sure we can find something, Vegas jewelers have everything it seems." He said now that he was dressed. Making sure to make everything look presentable he turned to see Gen. "You look beautiful." He said pecking her cheek softly. "This is your time to back out and change your mind. If not you're stuck with me for good." He grinned teasing the brunette.

Gen: She blushed when he kissed her cheek, "I'll gladly be stuck with you for good...or until you decide to leave me like the last guy." She kept her tone light, she was trying to joke, but deep down there was a layer of heartache there. She had been a hopeless romantic all her life but when Jared left she became a little bitter and cynical. Grabbing her purse she headed toward the door, "Let's go hubby."

Chris: "Well my records pretty good, I technically didn't leave my last wife, she left me after I pushed having more children. So you know, I think I'm a pretty damn good catch. Maybe I need to watch out for you." He grabbed her hand gently. "There's one thing we have to talk about first and I don't even want to, you're not this person. But to be fair I spoke to my family, I told them I was getting married and they're happy for me, and then I talked to my lawyer." He sighed, "They think it's in our best interest to each sign a prenup..." he paused. "I said I wasn't worried at all, but they think the general bases should be what we both had before the marriage remains ours and anything after the marriage we will divide in the best sake of the children involved. I don't plan on divorcing you, and I don't think you're in this for the money. So if you don't want to, I'll take it. But I had to let you know because I don't want you to meet my attorney and him ask and it be awkward that I didn't say anything."

Gen: She was a little taken aback by his words. Not that he wanted her to sign a prenup but because he had told people what they were doing. "You told your family? I thought we were keeping it between us until we left Vegas...I didn't tell anyone except Dani and only because it was her idea." Part of her had felt like she needed to tell Jared beforehand but she had kept it to herself from everyone. She was bummed but at the same time she figured he was excited and not ashamed to be marrying her if he was broadcasting it to everyone. "I'll sign if you think it's important."

Chris: "By family I mean my parents, I love you but I am not walking into my mum and have hidden that. She raised three rowdy boys, she can still take me." He said, "Besides that Liam doesn't even know, he just knows we're engaged." He hoped she understood but his mum was one of the closest people he had, closer to her than his dad and him and his dad were close. "And they're not gonna say anything. They're just excited at the prospect of more grandchildren." He sighed, "With Elsa I had nothing when we married, I was barely in the business so we were together when I became something. Which is why the divorce was messy in the beginning. I don't think you want me for my money, i feel like you would have shown that if that was the case." He murmured, "I do...like the part that says things will be divided in the best interest of the children though. Should anything happen, I mean maybe down the road you're unhappy with me...I would never not make sure you're okay."

Gen: Gen had her own money from her days on Wildfire and the short time she had spent on Supernatural. She also had some money that she got in the divorce from Jared, not a lot, but enough to get by and now with all the sponsors she had for her blog, she was doing really well for herself. "I'm too scared to tell my parents until after we're married, but I understand you wanting to tell yours." She shook her head, "First of all, I don't ever foresee a time When I'm going to be unhappy with you and second, I'm not a materialistic person. I couldn't even buy myself a necklace a couple weeks ago, though now I wish I had, it would have looked good with this dress," she giggled. "I just want you, Chris."

Chris: "Is your father going to do the whole threaten to shoot me and make me disappear if I ever hurt you kind of thing?" he teased, "My parents and I have always told each other everything I'm not sure I could have fully agreed with this if I hadn't told them but I should have told you first. My mum is excited to meet you." He said, "I know you're not materialistic, I know you're in this for the marriage. I'm just being honest in what my lawyer is requesting." He gave a small smile, "I know it seems like it's not trusting you and I hope you do know that I do but to get the lawyer off my back what if we sign a base minimum one. Just stating what I said earlier everything we had before the marriage will remain each of ours. Your home in Austin mine in Australia." He offered. "Then anything else I don't care about because I don't foresee anything happening. I just wanna make sure everything is no bumps in the road. Just like I double checked three times the place we're going to get married to make sure they're not some half assed place and suddenly we're not actually married.

Gen: "Do you have this prenup with you? It's not much of a prenup if it's not signed before the wedding." Once they were married she could decide not to sign it, that's why it was usually done way in advance. She didn't want to sign, but if it meant she got to marry Chris she would.

Chris: "It's in an email my lawyer sent me." He said walking over to his phone and unlocking it. "I can print it and they can have a witness sign it before anything." He didn't like the idea but he understood where his lawyer was coming from and after his divorce with Elsa he understood a lot more of what went into a high profile divorce. "Unless this is going to upset you. I'm not trying to do that." He said softly.

Gen: She shrugged, "It kind of ruined the mood to be honest." She still wanted to go through with the marriage though so she finished her walk to the door. "I guess we could go find the business center and use the printer."

Chris: "We don't have to right now then, we can wait til later. I couldn't exactly ask you after we were married." Which was true and he knew that. The talk with his lawyer had only been earlier so really this had been the only time. "There's one up here, office room off the side of the hall." He said pointing.

Gen: "Might as well get it over with. Print it out and take it with us...sign it when we sign the certificate." She certainly understood where he was coming from and didn't want him to feel like she was only with him for the possibility of getting his money one day, but the conversation also erased some of the blissful high she had been feeling. She stepped into the hallway and let him lead her to the office.

Chris: He knew she was upset and he wasn't exactly happy. Pressing the wireless print from his phone that he had connected just then to the printer he lead her into the office. Closing the door behind her while it printed he pressed her body up against the door and kissed her hard. His mouth lingering on hers before biting down on her lip. His hands tangled in her hair. "This changes nothing, I want you because I love you, Gen. It's just a piece of paper. I love /you/." He breathed against her lips.

Gen: Gen wasn't expecting him to pin her against the door but she was happily surprised by it. She moaned into his mouth, feeling her panties already getting damp. "I love you too, Chris. I know it is. It's not about the paper." If they had a real wedding she would have been told about the prenup then had time to get over it before the big day but they were literally on their way to get married and she lost a bit of her smile when the legality stuff came into the mix. She didn't want to think about the legal nonsense when all she wanted was to be in his arms as his wife. "If you keep this up I'm going to have to go change my panties."

Chris: He nodded, as he pulled back and went to grab the documents and folded them up and tucked them into his coat pocket. It was just paper, for both their best interest. That's all that mattered, "Oh," he pouted, "And here I thought you'd wear nothing but a sexy lingerie bra underneath."

Gen: She smirked, "If I did that you'd have me dripping down my leg." It was crazy to her how much the man in front of her turned her on, not even Jared had brought out this level of lust within her. "But who said I'm wearing a bra at all?" She winked.

Chris: "Well I don't think they'd be a comfortable feeling for you so I guess they can stay on." He murmured. "That will work, I love everything about your body so that gives me something to look forward to tonight." Grabbing her ass he pulled her forward. "Come on, we may have all night but I wanna celebrate our night.

Gen: She giggled and kissed him lovingly. She was ready for them to leave the casino and go to where they were getting married so they could hurry back here to the room. When she pulled away she opened the door and headed back down the hall to the elevator.

Chris: It didn't take long to get down to the lobby where he had ordered a driver for them for the night. He figured they needed to have at least one or two drinks to celebrate their new marriage. Taking her hand they were ushered privately into the car wanting to keep it under wraps until the very last possible moment.

Gen: Gen sat close to him in the car, keeping her hand in his. She wasn't nervous, more excited than anything. It seemed fitting to her that they were getting married on the first of the month, start the month off right. Arriving at the place they exited the car and started walking inside. "I hope there's not a lot of people in there."

Chris: "So we have to get the marriage license, this signed, and we should be good to go. Something tells me we're not gonna have to wait long. Oh wait..." he said, "We need to stop at the jeweler inside first before anything." He had made every arrangement possible to make this smooth and under the radar as possible. "We have the store to ourselves for the hour so don't feel like you have to rush either."

Gen: "Did you buy out the whole place for while we're here so we have total privacy?" She asked curiously as they made their way into the empty jewelry store. There were a few workers but no customers. Gen's eyes scanned the room until she found the wedding bands and headed over to the case. It didn't take long before she spotted a set of platinum bands, "I like these."

Chris: "Buy out seems so...Beyonce. I just simple explained who I was and they undersood the need for privacy." He didn't want her to think he had spent an outrageous amount of money. Most people were fair to deal with him just because they wanted to help with his privacy. Following her around he moved forward seeing the different bands. Some simply just a thin band of platinum, others with a few diamonds and others and entire diamond covered band. Luckily they had men's bands to match. "Which one do you like best?"

Gen: "I like the plain one. The one with the small diamonds is pretty but this is such a huge diamond," she said motioning to her engagement ring. "I want something simple. We don't have to get matching ones if you want to pick out something more you."

Chris: "It's whatever you want." Whatever she picked out would be hers. "Don't feel like you can't get the one you want." He said. He knew himself would only go with a simple band with maybe a little something fancier than a plain band since this is all he would wear. Seeing the one ring he tapped the glass and he pulled the ring out. Luckily the man would be able to size it for them on the spot in the store thanks to paying extra.

Gen: Gen picked out her ring, it was like his but didn't have the diamonds on it. While they waited for the rings to be sized she opened her phone to play with snapchat. "I look adorable with this filter."

Chris: "You look adorable all the time." He said leaning against the counter. "My kids love when I play with the filters, though no one knows about my secret snapchat." He grinned.

Gen: She squinted her eyes at him, "You have snapchat and you haven't added me? I'm highly offended."

Chris: "It wouldn't be a secret if I just gave it out." He scoffed. As if it actually was this big deal. "Couldn't have my kids missing out on the cute filters."

Gen: "But I'm your wife," she playfully pouted at him. Finding a filter she loved she moved so she was standing partially in front of him and made sure the filter hit both of their faces before she took the picture. "This will be my favorite picture from the day we got married." She smiled.

Chris: "You're about to be my wife, not quite yet. Wait til it's official. I don't wanna go jinxing anything." He laughed. He let her move in front of him and smiled when she positioned the camera with whatever filter she had picked out. "Just this picture? They take photos at the actual ceremony too." He knew they weren't as fancy as someone having a big wedding but he figured when they had a party to celebrate maybe they could have a beach celebration back in Australia with all the kids and family, give her the true look at his life down under.

Gen: "I've thought of myself as your wife since the second you put this ring on my finger." She told him honestly. "I'm sure I'll like all the photos but this one will probably be my favorite."

Chris: Pressing a kiss to the top of her head he checked his watch and not long after the man came out carrying their rings in a bag tied with a ribbon. Chris paid before taking Gen's hand. "Just a few pieces of paper and we're getting married." He said as he escorted her out and toward the area where any documents that would need to be signed and sealed would be taken care of.

Gen: Walking into the other part of the building they signed all the paperwork that needed to be signed, the only thing that would be left to do would be sign the actual certificate once they were married. Before she knew it they were standing in front of the officiant and she was saying, "I do."

Chris: Any and all information was signed, including the prenup, and sealed ready to bring them into their new life together. he was sure once media outlets found out that this was the case it would be a different story. Still he didn't care. He heard Gen's I do and soon after he said "I do." Slipping the thin platinum band onto Gen's finger.

Gen: Because of how fast this was there was a part of her that wondered if he'd back out but hearing him say I do made all her worries disappear. She put his ring on his finger, they both said vows and then the officiant pronounced them husband and wife and Gen stood there waiting for him to kiss his bride.

Chris: Leaning in he cupped the back of Gen's head and pressed his lips firmly against hers. They were now married. It was crazy but he couldn't see anything else but their happiness as his lips caressed hers.

Gen: All she wanted was to keep on kissing him but they were in front of people and it wasn't the right time. She smiled into the kiss though, overjoyed that they were married. On their way out they signed the last document, the certificate that was basically all the marriage was. All they would have needed to do was sign this paper and they were legally married. As soon as it was signed and they made sure they had their copies of everything, they took a few pictures, had a glass of champagne and then they were back in the car. "I don't know if you had something planned for after the ceremony but I really want to go back to the hotel room."

Hi there, it's the anon who saw Gandía on the subway!

You're completely right, it had been kind of haunting me for days... My brain just travelled towards it every now and then, like "you saw Gandia in the subway, have fun dealing with that bout of knowledge". I'm glad you liked my trauma story!

Are you MAGIC? I truly am gay bike anon!!! I don't think I am why are annexes anon? But honestly, I am not sure, and I can have forgotten?? When I'll see the ask again, I'll probably know and I'll tell you whether that was me or not. I love how you realized it was me by the sheer weirdness of the asks, I love how my chaotic energy apparantly radiates even through the internet ehehehe

Your description of Gandia made me snort and then laugh so hard, I had to actually stifle my giggles so everyone in the train I was in whilst reading this wouldn't go "???" (I literally clasped my hand in front of my mouth, then realized how futile that was because of the face mask hahahaha)

So, I googled Promising Young Woman, and I directly knew who you meant, and he does look a lot like Moscow! Also, the movie looks great and I'm definitely going to watch it soon (after I finished my exams, or, y'know, to avoid having to study for those sksksk)

YOU'LL MAYBE WRITE ME A ANDRÉS X GANDÍA FIC??!!! AHHH I WOULD LOVE THAT!!!! I truly thought I was crazy when I realized that there was such weird energy between the two of them in that scene, with the way they were eyeing eachother, the way Gandía walked around Andrés, but turns out I'm not the only one who thought so :) And indeed, "gay bike anon" is not my birth given name, but I'll gladly take it as my second name/ as a nickname :)

Oh no! I hope you're okay and that you're not slowly melting away behind your computer... We've been having hot temperatures here as well, nothing close to a heatwave though, even if everyone acts like it is. (It has been around 26-27 degrees Celsius for a while, and everyone was going crazy about the national plan for heatwaves on Twitter...Like, no, just don't... For a nationality often portrayed as brutally honest and very matter-of-factly, we can get incredibly dramatic sometimes sksksk) It's colder now, though, we've had a few days with rain and now I think we're back to normal temperature for the time of the year.

I'll let you know! That is such a good idea, I'm going to practice Martín's speeches in the mirror right away, the eyepatch would make an interesting look... I'll wear my black suit and shirt with black brogues, my father probably has a dark gray tie which I can borrow. I'll just have to find a cane somewhere. Oh, and fill my bag with muffins. I'll practice my chaotic screaming (well, tbh I don't think much practice is necessary anymore) to channel my inner Martín. Maybe I'll even bring my Berlín funko pop, tell him "remember Alfredo Kesmann, you know, the risk analyst you looked at as if you were a lion and he was your prey, huh? Well, look at who he turned out to be..."

By the way, I just read you Little Mermaid AU and it was just so beautiful, so cute, whilst they still remained the assholes interesting characters they are <3 Martín thinking a fork looked like a weapon made me laugh so hard, because it definitely is a weapon to another version of Andrés sksks. Also, I was listening to MIKA on shuffle and when I was reading your Little Mermaid AU, 'Underwater' came on and ugh, the song was fitting so well for them, poetic cinema.

Gay bike anon ❤️❤️❤️ To quote some Motion City Soundtrack: It had to be you // I knew it was you. I'm happy you saw my stray ramblings @ you. Should you choose to continue talking to me (you should, I love you, gay bike anon, please continue to be my friend), I'll continue to tag them under # only love for gay bike anon. There, that is you.

I'll be surprised if you're not why are annexes anon [if you are a separate person, humble apologies, come @ me for my crimes] but I'm also going to gatekeep that ask for x number of weeks or months because prompts are hard to keep the mystery alive. I love how you say you'll maybe recognise it, if it is you. I also sometimes look at things I've said and I'm like "well it's my account so it must be me, but I could swear I am not me--" I'm so glad you're gay bike anon because it's literally your name now so if you weren't them??? It'd be like naming a child something peaceful and the child turns out to be everything but. Which almost happened to yours truly, I'll have you know. Dodge that bullet, I did. Also, if you were not gay bike anon, you'd be like "¿¿qué?? what does that even mean??". (I was so delighted by the ask that I sent a screenshot to my friend and since she didn't watch the semis, this was her reaction.) You have the perfect chaotic energy, dear friend. Recognisably so.

I love your phrasing, by the way. "My brain just travelled towards it every now and then". I can perfectly envision this scene, you're just trying to live your best life (travelling by the subway, buying cookies, that sort of thing) and your brain is just like hey guess what???? SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍA!! thanks brain, that's nice, I guess. The plot twist is that now this story also lives rent-free in my head, but I truly do appreciate it. Thank you again for sharing it.

I'm glad you also feel me re: lawyer guy in Promising Young Woman!! I'll take all the reassurance I can get that I'm not simply too LCDP-obsessed. I really do recommend the film, it was really good and so nicely filmed. Her hairstyles? The outfits? The colours and the framing??? Gorgeous. Come @ me with your thoughts once you've seen it, please. ✨ Also, bestest of best luck for your exams!! I have all the faith in you. Do your best and reward yourself accordingly afterwards, the reward part very important! Maybe you can buy yourself a tricorne. This is foreshadowing for how you're going to be a pirate, by the end of this reply. And for the record, I'll consider myself prompted to write this subway driver! Gandía fic, and some day I will absolutely consider actually writing it. Just you wait.

We had like an entire week of 30+ degrees (and I'm from Finland, you know, so that's definitely illegal temperatures here) and it was just, ugh. But it was actually raining yesterday - I'm sure it started around the time you sent me this so I'll credit it to you, thank you for the rain, dear friend - bless!! everything was so dry. I'm glad to hear your temperatures are normalising too!! Climate change can go away, thanks.

I absolutely lost all coherent thought when you said "I'll practice my chaotic screaming" hgjrfkpfjeghr yes you do that, it sounds 100% legitimate. You'll make the perfect Martín, hanging out with your totally super platonic best friend in Funko pop form. Hissing at Gandía, should he come too close. Threatening him with the Funko. Leaning on your cane but like, menacingly. You might also need a Denver to lead you around, should the eyepatch impair you depth perception.

Also, after you've had all this practice with the eyepatch, you can become a pirate. Or a privateer, first, and then through a series of unfortunate events, you can be drawn to a life of crime. The money is just so much better. And guess what? Yeah, you bet the captain of the ship is the spitting image of Arturito. Good luck, you. :) At least you can mutiny.

Ahhh I'm glad you liked the Little Mermaid thing! Martín absolutely gets that the pointy thing look exactly like a weapon, even if he's not necessarily imagining Andrés to stab someone with it for insulting his clothes. You know, one of these days I was tagged in a tag thing and I mentioned about how much I currently love Underwater?? (mandatory shout-out to @es-imposible because I'm stealing her taste in music for my own) Manifestation. Or one brain energy. Poetic cinema.

I hope you'll have a great week, gay bike anon!! Take care of yourself!! Drink lots of water, eat lots of cookies, stay safe from Gandía / any lookalikes. Best of luck for your exams for a second time! All the best, dear friend. See you around! 💌

I don't remember, nor does it matter,

If I've mentioned, because I'm mentioning and continuing down that train of thought.

So, the friend I'm living with currently, asked for my desk. I'm not particularly attached to this desk; it definitely doesn't suit my needs in the slightest. I was going to take it just to have a work surface. I need to do some serious considering of what I need for a work surface.

When I move to Oregon for the final time, I want to start eliminating the art supplies that I'm not actively using. I bought them and I wanted to use them. I wasn't sure what to do with the dolls in particular when I bought them, and I know customizing them is going to involve a whole new tool-set--I'll need doll hair and either to find water color pencils that I swear I have, or to buy some decent colored pencils, and MSC, and I'll want to make wigs, but honestly, I could probably just make a small library of wigs and maybe design characters around the wigs. I've had this one doll hair just sitting around for ages while I do everything except design even one wig. It's a lovely color palette; it'll make an incredible wig. But the damn wig won't make itself.

I stubbornly want to do stuff with the dolls that I've sunk the money into. I want to complete them and THEN sell them. I want to sell people art, not art supplies.

And then there's the polyclay. I don't think it's that I don't like sculpting anymore, I think that it's more that sculpting is time-consuming and I can't get the money back out of the time I sunk because of a market of "I don't know how to price my work" and "I'm just doing it for fun". Additionally, if it's not adding to the graphic novel that I'm working on, and I can't really make money from it, I don't really want to work in that medium while I still have to work to earn money and support myself.

But I should use what I have. I know it technically never expires, but I also know that even the best materials get harder to work with as they age. I ought to buy a few more pounds of translucent, and a pasta roller, even just a cheap one, and cut each color with at least an equal part translucent, but then I need a way to store my newly mixed clay.

So even just this far, I have a few demands of my space. I need space for a few colors of hair, and the material for making wigs, needles, adhesive. Probably a few busts to put heads onto, so I have a way to store my wigs. I think a nice slim shelf like I have right now would be nice for that, I could even sculpt my own busts, which could be fun, and mix some sinkers or buckshot into them to weigh them down. I could probably make a little containment box for sanding and filling the seams. Maybe I should just go basic. Just a table. And then add some tool drawers, some tiny little drawers for bits and bobs. I'm even seriously considering just using the little office-y drawers I have, really carefully adding my own little spacers. I could easily just use a million of those drawers, but they're only really good for like pens and stuff. Once you get to like, eyepins and paperclips, if, like me, you're only keeping a small quantity, and not a whole drawer, they aren't so good. That's why I want something....... better.

These fishing toolboxes I have are good, but if I stack them, I have to entirely unstack them to get into the box I want. I guess I could make a file/shelf for them....... But we sell these drawers at work that are meant for keeping like, screws and washers and tool bits....... and I kinda want. But I don't just want one. Believe me, I'll find a purpose for three. They'd be good for everything--doll hair, shades of polyclay, tubes of beads--I haven't even talked about that.

I bought some beads, and then made a beading pattern, and just never got around to buying the rest of the appropriate colors of beads, but I was really excited about beading this pattern, but I haven't thought about it since we moved to Arizona....... I would love to design more off-loom bead weaving patterns. I love the idea of analogue pixel art.

Then there is, of course, my embroidery thread, which I would like to be protected from UV damage and environmental grime. The less I have to touch it to find what I want or organize it, the better. I would like to do something like hang each card from some kind of hook, and have the hook on some kind of lazy Susan or a drawer slide. I'm trying not to keep a ton of extra aida just randomly on hand, so I probably don't need too much space for extra fabric.

What other kind of creative mischief will I get up to?

I can definitely use the drawers I already have for my gel pens, markers and pencils.

Maybe I could rock out and finally use that polyclay to work on that miniature, miniature Christmas village that I've had in mind.

I just get panicky right now, since I don't make money from my art, so I have to go out and work for money. I have to use my art time in the most efficient ways. I might as well work on building an easy to create and thus affordable to consume body of work. I hope, as I have for years now, that by creating work that's easy to create, and affordable to consume, I can move into some kind of community and build a network.

The dolls and the Christmas village, and hell, even lighter sleeves, dice chutes and DM/GM screens, would be fun projects, but the labor would make them costly to own, and I would still have to undersell my own labor. Maybe if I have some work I can over-sell, over time, it balances out?

1/02/2019

I woke up at 7:30 today. This isn't good, my goal is 6:00 and I'm only getting worse and worse every day. I had an epiphany, is that the word. I realised that she said that I have like one class where I'm in the same class as one of them, but since it's only one class, that means that I should only see them twice a month right? Unless I have more than one class on that day, oh god. This whole mess would've never happened if it wasn't for the choices and made and if my last name was different. Anyway, I didn't make my own breakfast today, or even eat breakfast. I guess I'll eat breakfast at school. I need the school track suit and new sport shoes. So those things I really need. So I need to separate my wish list and my need list. I saw a new method of seeing if you really need something, it's asking: would you rather be given the amount of money that something costs or would you rather have the item. It's a pretty good method.

It's now recess. So I'll talk about roll call, Gabby is in my roll call. Before school started I went to tech and I asked ms da Silva if she could separate me and Gabby. She agreed. So what happened in roll call was I sat next to Ivy, and ms da Silva separated me and Gabby by putting someone in between us. First period: it was English, I sat with Stephanie, we did some research on war poets. We didn't make a lot of jokes. But it was okay. Ema was also in English. She was also in second period.

Science was a nightmare. Ema was sitting in the row behind me, and the whole thing with Ema and when I wanted to break the friendship with her. It's exactly same thing. This time eve is the middle person and she's saying the exact same thing as Gabby that one time. The reason why I'm here now is because I told Gabby and I trusted and followed her advice. I'm not going to make the same mistake. I sitting with Olivia, Clarissa and Eve. This is only temporary, I don't consider myself part of their "group". I'm not going to make myself comfortable, because I will lose them again. Tomorrow I'm going to the library and to study. I was really scared in every subject except visual design. That's the only time I felt comfortable. Visual design is alright, we were cutting shapes to like make an abstract face, but that's pretty boring. That seems like something you would do in visual arts. I knew new people, I know Daniella, and I how know hajera. Daniella kinda looks like Irmak. I need a device in visual design that can downooad Adobe products. That's going to be an issue, I can only bring my old really clunky laptop. I don't have a laptop. I wonder if ms Papus will find it acceptable. LlWe got a code for Google classroom, I'll write code in here later. It's:

It's now after school. I'm walking home. A lot happened just then. So during lunch, in the last quarter, Eve, Clarissa and Olivia, made me talk to Ema and Ameera. They talked to me, I shook like crazy. Then I started crying, I told Ema, the reason I was like this, was not because of Ema. They asked me if I wanted to be friends with them. I said no, at this point I was already crying really hard. I told them that I didn't want this (twice) I told Ameera that I was only getting in her and Gabby's way. So that's all I told them. I told Ema that I know she can never forgive me, so it would be better if I left. I told them how I wanted to throw myself off the library every day. She said that she didn't know if she forgave me or not. I did it, I told them that I didn't want to be their friend. I'm proud. I was still crying really hard so I went to the office to ask if I could go home. Ms Maharaj saw me, and she was really concerned about me. She convinced me that I didn't need to go home. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. I accidentally spilled half my miceller water in the sink. That added to an otherwise horrible day. In visual design I was informed by Ashley that I had chewing gum on my shoe. That is the most stereotypical thing that happens when the main character has a awful day in a movie. That and getting hit by water when they're walking on a sidewalk by a car. I really wanted to do film study, but that's okay. I'm glad I didn't go home. It's better if my parents don't find out about this, especially my dad. I don't want to make them upset. I don't think anything good happened today. I don't know why I'm so unlucky, my family is all really unlucky. I want to live but just not this life. It's raining a little bit on me right now, but I don't mind. My bag is heavy, but I don't mind. I need to buy a math book and a red pen. I also need to study for three hours. If time is money, I need a loan.

It's 4:30 and me and dad are going to Officeworks right now, I need a math book.

Mac is nice, but he's not going to be one I like. I need someone who wants to take care of me, and me to them. I don't even want to date anyone until I'm 16, so I'm good. I'm glad I can talk to you, so I don't accidentally overshare my feelings.

I went to office works, we didn't get a red pen, but we got two graph books, they're both 7mm, but they don't have the spiral spine. 48 pages each.

I have poetry homework today, as well as studying for science. I also need to join the classroom for visual design.

I did English homework, or at least part of it. It's kinda hard to do, but we have the weekend to do it. I'm talking with Mac and Emma. Mac has a very bad relationship with his mom. I think his mom is mentally ill, but he really truly despises his mom. She smokes but she gets angry when anyone critiques it. I think that she's ashamed of her smoking habit but that's just my opinion. I think she really needs therapy, based on the way she treats her son. Like at the age of 14, she allowed him to get a desk. He was big hopes and he's putting in a lot of effort to work towards them. He's a good kid, I hope he succeeds in life.

Mac is such a pure boy, I hope he succeeds in life omg. I already knew this but, he was beaten up, and bullied in primary school, a lot of people backstabbed him, and that's the root of his trust issues and worries.

Oh so we got on the topic of the Dolan twins. And then I said that I liked them a little, like Y'know I like their videos. And I didn't want him to think that I was a like a crazy fan or anything so I said that their fans are crazy y'know? Girls like them because they're goofy" And he responded really negatively like "well it's working they've got you" and that sort of distrust and sudden negatively made me feel really sad and scared. And I started crying. Not really hard just like in the middle of the night that kind of crying. I'm really sensitive right now, even the smallest bit of negativity can send me into tears. Because I was so scared not to make the wrong move when I was friends with Gabby and Ameera, that really shook me up. Or maybe I'm just really fragile. I don't want my sensitivity to be an excuse for my actions.

So the annoying thing about me when I cry is that my nose becomes really really red and my eyes become bloodshot and it usually lasts for about an hour, I've also noticed that the top of my lip becomes red. I'll include a photo

I've already done my skin care in this photo so it's less red but if you turn up the contrast it's going to be accurate.

The white line is when I started crying.

You want a lot of questions?! Even numbers! All of them. Because I'm horrible ?

Right, well, first off, fuck you :)

second, this is going under a read more

third, I’m leaving out the ones I know you already know/I don’t want to answer

2: Do I have any nicknames? Ninzz3: Zodiac sign? Aquarius4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? Tomb Raider Legend. I got every achievement possible in it years ago so it’s like a comforting, familiar walk for me.5: Book/series I reread? The only one I constantly reread is Memoirs of A Geisha, which I’ve read over 25 times, but I have read 1984 and the Call of Cthulhu several times as well.6: Aliens or ghosts? If I had to pick one, aliens. Because my space parents are always dicks to me and the other ones figured out how to paralyse me7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? I don’t have one of those because I’m not a huge reader in the conventional sense and most of my favourite authors are dead.10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Awesome or nice11: Favourite song? Right now it’s Darkwave Surfer or Innsmouth, both by Aural Vampire12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? What books and movies they like. It’s always a good yardstick 14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? Yes. I could never stay angry at you for long15: Last song I listened to? Right now I’m listening to Burning For You - Blue Oyster Cult. Before that it was Jane - Jefferson Starship16: TV show I always recommend? It depends very much on what the other person is asking for, but in a more general sense? Buffy, AHS, Xena, Parks and Rec, Breaking Bad, Brooklyn 99. I’m not a huge TV watcher, I never saw any of those on TV when they were on, only on tape, DVD or streaming services. 18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? Girl Interrupted, Memoirs of A Geisha, Star Wars, Practical Magic, The Matrix. These always bring me out of a bad mood19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? My alarm is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones21: What am I most afraid of? Onryo34: Someone I always think about? You!35: Am I excited about anything? My moon phase tattoos, which I’m getting in just over a week37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Buffy has been a firm favourite for as long as I can remember. All my favourite kids shows were like... Mona the Vampire and Arthur, 38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? No, not really. I’m weird about men39: Am I superstitious? Yes41: Do I have any strange phobias? I wouldn’t say any of mine are strange. Irrational, perhaps, but not strange.42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? I love taking photographs of people, but I rarely get the chance. To be in front of the camera it would have to be a stranger paying me to do it, or someone I trust very much.44: Last book I read? Right now I’m reading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. One of my best friend’s brother recommended it to me.45: Last film I watched? In Her Shoes50: How do I destress? If I’m really stressed out I’ll just pull a fanon hux and fuck myself until I pass out. I’m too boneless and sated to care about anything else51: Do I like confrontation? A sick little part of me does take pleasure in it when it’s someone I don’t really like54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? On because I see things in the dark and it scares me55: Play any sports? No, but I enjoy swimming and gymnastics.59: Afraid of heights? As much as any sensible person is.61: What was the last concert I went to see? I’ve never been to one, not as such. I saw a live performance when I was a kid by some singer that committed suicide a few years after. 62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? No. But I could probably be vegetarian if I needed to be?63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? I wanted to be a vet.64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? Not as such, but I’ve had friendships turn so toxic that I’ve had to end them.70: Can I sing? I’ve been told I can so I guess, yes. I don’t feel I’m very good though.71: Something I wish I could do? fucking anything, lol73: Have I ever skipped school? Yes. Once I went out and smoked weed with a couple friends and went back into the school, where I then held onto a sink and had an existential crisis because it wasn’t weed, it was fucking skunk!!77: What is my current desktop picture? A picture of Rey on a speeder, half naked78: Early bird or night owl? Night owl for sure79: Sunsets or sunrise? sunset80: Can I drive? Yes81: Story behind my last kiss? I was leaving for my train home, it was a goodbye kiss.82: Earphones or headphones? Headphones84: Story behind one of my scars? I have a chickenpox scar in the middle of my forehead. And one on my left middle knuckle from trying to punch someone and hitting the wall because they moved.88: What makes me really angry? People who have lots of money asking me why I can’t just, like, buy the things I want??89: Kindle or real book? Real books, I detest kindles.90: Favourite sporty activity? If walking doesn’t count, swimming or climbing. I can’t do much of either these days because CFS92: What was my favourite subject at school? Geology. I’m a dirty rock lover94: What was the last thing I bought? A case for my new phone, because my other one got broken, oops96: Can I cook? If I follow a recipe exactly I’m great, but if I don’t... It’s pretty disastrous.97: Can I bake? Same rules as cooking.103: Sexual orientation? This is a question that perplexes me too! I have figured out that I’m gay mostly because I am unable to trust men enough to even form true friendships with them without doubting their motives. They always want sex from me, most have gone to ridiculous lengths to get it from me, and when I refuse? They force their attentions on me. 106: Last time I cried? Last week. I had a breakdown when the above finally occurred to me during therapy, among other similarly unpleasant revelations107: Guilty pleasure? ???113: Favourite accents? I dunno, I like lots of different ones.114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? Maine!117: Am I religious? Yes, I am. I consider myself pagan but I’m not sure what subset I fall into.119: Do I like the deep ocean? I suppose so, It’s interesting! There are lots of strange little creatures down there that could be my friends.121: Am I allergic to anything? No, not that I know of.122: Can I curl my tongue? Yes123: Can I wiggle my ears? No126: My current project? Your birthday gift. After that I plan to start a Star Wars tarot deck.128: Do I admit when I wrong? Yes, I try to. Sometimes I’m so stubborn that I don’t realise I’m in the wrong but the moment I do I try and apologise129: Forest or beach? I love both very much. I couldn’t choose one. 130: Favourite piece of advice? ‘Stay afraid but do it anyway’131: Am I a good liar? When it suits me. Acting like a bad liar makes it all the more convincing when you need to do it for real.133: Do I talk to myself? Literally all the time, I basically respond to my own thoughts by talking.135: Do I like gossip? I despise it136: Do I keep a journal/diary? I keep several: One for mind stuff/events/feelings, one for dreams, one for sexual fantasies, one for magical information, one for ideas, and one for general information. I also keep notes on my calendar. Whenever I go on a trip I keep a journal specifically for that and save all my ticket stubs and leaflets and photographs.137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? I must have at some point but I can’t say I remember.138: Do I believe in second chances? I’m a bad for giving people extra chances when I really shouldn’t.139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? Take the money and then put it in a lost and found.140: Do I believe people are capable of change? I suppose so. At their very core, perhaps not.141: Have I ever been underweight? Yes. Quite severely - about 90lbs146: Have I ever been overweight? Never. I’ve been more muscular but that doesn’t really count. I had an extra 20lbs of muscle a few years ago.147: Do I have any piercings? I have my ears, a labret, and the left side of my nose. I had my nipples pierced for about a year149: Do I have any tattoos? Three right now, soon to be four. runes on either wrist, and script that reads ‘destiny rules’ on my left shoulder150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? To not go to college. I would certainly have killed myself by now if I had151: Do I believe in Karma? yes 152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? glasses, contacts in this house would be a very bad idea because of all the dust and fluff155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? The friend that recommended Brave New World. I’m quite intelligent but he makes me feel very, very stupid.158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yes, many times159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains, obviously. I’ve known some very beautiful people that are just horrible.160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? No single colour, actually. I have a lot of white, blue, purple/burgundy, and black. Also earthy, light tan colours.161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? I’ve had too many to list!162: What do I hate most about myself? That I’m so jealous. Especially of people with more money than me, I think about that almost every day and it makes me boil with rage.163: What do I love most about myself? That’s a very hard question to answer without seeming narcissistic. I guess I like that I’m a loyal friend, willing to deal with a whooooole lot.165: Do I believe in fate? Of course, or I wouldn’t have that destiny rules tattoo would I166: Favourite animal? Hard to say. I like snakes, spiders, dogs, cats and all sorts170: One of my favourite quotes? Just one? Awwww. ‘We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.’ - H.P Lovecraft171: Do I hold grudges? No, I don’t. Or else I would become the very thing I fear.172: Do I trust easily? No, not at all! It takes a long time for me to trust a person, if I ever do174: Best gift I’ve ever received? Hard to say. In terms of sentimental value, these: your japor snippet, Noodle and Leia, the velvet dress, Agnetha, my tattoos, the Kylo bear... those are all I can think of right now. In terms of usefulness, these: my previous phone, drawing tablet, TV, leather coat and trousers, that sort of thing.175: Do I dream? Yes, often.176: Have I ever had a night terror? Many times thought it happened more when I was a child.177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? I remember them vividly when I do, and I remember one where I missed a train. The station was underground and all steel, grey and sterile. Someone told me to run through a tunnel that reminded me of the book tunnels in Apocrypha, in that it stretched out in front of me as I ran through and in the gaps was Holly, riding a unicorn. It was very odd.179: If I were immortal, what would I do? If it meant I didn’t have to eat anymore then great! I could do anything I wanted.180: Do I like shopping? I would, if I actually had money. 181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Murder182: What does “family” mean to me? People that love you unconditionally and are there for you when you need them185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? Sex, because then I would be able to do what I love and be boss at it186: What is my greatest failure? Boy, let me count the ways187: What is my greatest achievement? I don’t actually know. I can’t say I’ve achieved anything of note. I’ve done some cool stuff, but are they achievements? Probably not.188: Love or money? Love of money is the root of all sin, but money cannot buy love189: Love or career? Love, I couldn’t give a shit about careers194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? See you next time195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? I have done. Some, I would never choose to meet but the others I don’t mind196: A movie that scared me as a child? The Ring, thanks to that shit I have a psychological complex about onryo197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? Being spanked201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? Always the onryo, I remember every nightmare I have about them very vividly203: Do I judge a book by its cover? everybody does to some extent, right? it has to catch your eye in the first place204: Have I ever had my heart broken? I’d say so, yes. I am recovering.205: Do I like my handwriting? I guess so. It changes a lot, I never think about it206: Sweet or savoury? savoury208: Do I collect anything? I collect lots of things; bottle caps, coins, vhs tapes, etc etc209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My japor snippet and my siberian blue quartz pendant. And my various piercings. I’ve had the same earrings in for about 3 years now. 211: How do I handle anger? badly212: Was I named after anyone? Inanna, the Sumerian goddess of love, fertility, sex, and war.213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? Yeah...214: What TV character am I most like? Probably a strange mix of Andy and April from Parks and Rec215: What is the weirdest talent I have? I don’t have one, now that I think about it. I have hyperextended elbows216: Favourite fictional character? Tough one, tough one. Right now it has to be Kylo. But the most enduring would have to be Padme. I have a sticker of her on my bedroom door that I put there in 2000.