I’m fine

The millennial litmus test for sexuality was 100% Pirates of the Caribbean. I was 13 when the first movie came out. Literally everyone walked into that movie having been lured there by the attractiveness of Orlando Bloom in LOTR. The truly straight girls had been drawn in by his entry-level attractiveness and walked out lusting over the significantly older and manlier Jack Sparrow. The others had been unconsciously drawn in by Legolas's femininity and walked out with their eyes opened and lusting over Keira Knightley.

I love goalie fights it’s like you guys have been standing 200 ft apart this entire time how could you possibly have beef

its always scary to me how you can just do anything like i could spend the last of my money right now to ride a train for 3 hours and then just be stuck out there and walk around until i die of exhaustion

did this last night

Babe, listen

Your fic isn’t a flop, it’s a cult classic. Only the coolest freaks like it, don’t worry about it, it’s great.

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

from the bottom of my fucking heart. how are we supposed to live under these conditions.

"menstruation is punishment for original sin" is a fairly common doctrine (altho in my experience it's usually more implicit than just baldly stated like that)

anyway this implies that of all the animal kingdom, humans are not UNIQUE in sinning, but are joined by bats, the elephant shrew, and the spiny mouse species Acomys cahirinus. (according to my 5 seconds on wikipedia at least)

can someone baby me please for the love of god

i’m like if a guy was whelmed, overly so

humbled

can you believe that we have fanfiction. that we have websites dedicated to fanfiction. that there is a place that you can go and read tens, hundreds, thousands and thousands of pieces of writing that strangers have made. people who are not "writers". people who come home at the end of the day and have feelings and say, i am going to put that into words. i am going to share those words. short, long, sweet, sad, horny, funny, wonderful words. we are all just human and we all love to make and remake and share that with others. can you believe that.

fanfic is wild bc why are these silly little people out here posting the most transformative and emotionally nuanced pieces of literature of the modern day under titles that are just stolen fall out boy lyrics

this would have got 100k notes as a tumblr post in 2018