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fallingforel · 3 months

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The G and birdie bits I have been craving I miss them

I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name | Before we grew up

A/N: Hey! Back with another addition to the George and Birdie universe since it was so well loved!! Honestly, the whole thing still surprises me and the fact that some of you wanted more of them actually made my heart hurt!! But I've missed them and writing this brought me a whole lot of joy, so I hope you enjoy! If this does well or it’s wanted I might write a few more like this sooo let me know x

Flashback moments | 'Before we grew up'.

“Okay, so when you’re ready just let go of the brake.”

I blinked, holding the steering wheel with an undeniable grip. “Right.” I murmured but didn’t make a move to follow the words.

George, whose brilliant idea this had all been, sat in the passenger seat of his dad’s Volkswagen, buckled in and attempting to exude an air of calm I really didn’t feel.

“You gonna let go?” He asked me after a long minute passed.

I swallowed thickly and removed my stare from where it’d been burning a hole in the windscreen so that I could look over at him. “How do I know when I’m ready?” I asked him and really didn’t appreciate the laugh he gave in return. I scowled. “What’s so funny about this? It’s a valid question!”

George just shook his head and exhaled breathily, obviously trying his best to dim the amused smile he now wore, “Honestly B, you’re just overthinking this and besides, you have it easy. It’s an automatic, barely have to do a thing.”

My scowl deepened. “Barely ‘ave to do a fing.” I mimicked in an accent similar to his deep drawl, it was his turn to frown then. I merely smiled sweetly.

“I’mma ignore that for now, ‘cause you’re a twat.” George retorted, “But also ‘cause I need to get the car back before dad notices it’s gone. So, can we get a move on?”

I inhaled deeply and fought off a whine that wanted to escape me- who the fuck said driving was easy?

“G, I’m being dead serious right now.”

He simply snorted, humoured by my anxieties, “I know, babe, and you’re doing so well.” I raised a brow at that and he smiled, “What? You are! You’ve turned the thing on, ain’t you?”

I took a hand off the wheel just to swat him, “Hilarious.” Before I was gripping it again once more, “Come on, just give me a count down or summat.”

G shook his head and looked towards the sky, as though anyone up there cared for the likes of us, then he sighed, “Fine, on three yeah? Then you let go of the brake and go.”

“On three.” I agreed with a nod, though it sounded breathy even to my own ears.

George reached out a hand to squeeze my thigh, probably in hopes to spur some proper motivation into me but all it did was make me think back to the previous evening when he’d had a free house. I shook my head, along with the thoughts of his hands and his lips, and settled into my seat with a newfound determination as I looked out onto the road.

It wasn’t as though it was anything too terrifying, I didn’t even have to bare left or right, just keep going straight. But still, I had the horrible feeling that this would be the thing that would seal my fate- imminently, or when George’s dad finally got home to find that his car had a barge pole sticking out of its front.

I released a shaky breath.

“Okay- one, two…”

And on three I finally let my foot slip away from the pedal, screaming a little to myself as the car began to roll.

“Yes, Birdie!” George grinned over at me, bouncing in his seat as he moved, “Now the accelerator.”

I laughed stiltedly, eyes wide as I pressed down on the other pedal, feeling the car bob at the sudden pressure.

“Easy.” George corrected but he was still smiling away, hand tapping at my leg. “Good girl. See? You’re doing it!”

And I was. I really was.

“Oh shit- break, break!” He then shouted out and I slammed on the brake pedal hard enough to have us both jerking forward in our seats, though the cat that was crossing the road continued in its languid stroll, barely even sparing us a glance.

It was after that I let go of the jittery excitement I felt, heart beating a mile a minute and my grin kilowatt. “Fuck.” I giggled, then glanced over to my left. G seemed to follow the former motion, chuckling to himself whilst we sat in the middle of a side road full of dimmed townhouses. “I wanna go again.” I told him.

He snorted, shaking his head and grinning. “Thought you were shitting yourself a second ago?”

I shrugged, not caring in the slightest how much truth his statement held. “Can we?”

G huffed another chuckle but ultimately dipped his head, “Go on then, when we get to the garages I’ll walk you through parking.”

“Alright, but only if I can do a doughnut or somethin’ first.” I countered, like I had any authority here. But George just laughed and said nothing more whilst I went to pull away from a stop once more.

–

Christmas was always a hectic time of year. No one could deny me that. But since my dad’s passing, it had become a holiday that always came too quickly and dragged on for too long. This year though, this year was gonna be different.

See, I’d been living at Matty’s since the summer after the ‘incident’ as I liked to call it- everyone else seemed to roll their eyes at the name though. And whilst staying with them I'd come to realise a few things about myself.

Firstly, I loved all kinds of food.

Sure a strange thing to find out at my age, but I had an excuse! Alright? Staying with mum I’d pretty much had to feed myself and with money so scarce we’d only ever really had enough for the basics, or at least I did. Most of mum’s boyfriends had practically kept the food they liked under lock and key, even though nine times out of ten they hadn't been the ones to buy it. And so, this meant that I hadn’t had much opportunity to branch out, to get a feel for anything that wasn't canned, bagged, or frozen.

Secondly, I had a tad bit of childhood trauma lagging behind me. Most of which I’ll spare you the intimate details from, but that had an impact on the things I did even when I felt safe. Like, I hated not knowing if there was someone new stopping at the house, made me feel all itchy in truth. And the way I went out of my way to make sure I’d locked everything was a bit much; windows, my bedroom door, the backdoor, the front door, the bathroom door, the side gate. At one point I’d been stressing over the front entrance late at night but had felt too stupid to go and make a check to see if it was in fact closed, which had resulted in me waking Matty up to help me deal with a panic attack.

And thirdly, I had no idea how normal people spent Christmas.

This came to light when I’d all but baulked at the many traditions not just Matty and his family had, but also the rest of the lads.

Ross and his lot often ate their Christmas roast at lunch time then went out for a chinese later on that night. How they had the room for it, I have no idea. Hann, on the other hand, was dragged back and forth between all of his family members on the twenty-sixth instead of the fifth, due to extended family coming to visit from all other parts of the country.

Denise had a list of things she loved to do this time of year.

She’d set up a nativity outside, alongside the rest of the lights and usual decorations for the neighbours to come see. She ordered a real fur tree and then sent the boys out to go collect it with their dad once the day came. It was humongous and dropped needles everywhere, but was oh so beautiful. They always decorated it as a family, taking turns to put the topper on and finding the best branches to place sentimental ornaments. Stockings were hung by the fireplace with initials hand stitched on. And chefs typically came to cater Christmas day.

Gifts were also a big thing.

A very BIG thing.

As in, they were all so lovely and thoughtful to the point that Matty and his younger brother would have an actual meeting over what to get their mum and dad- which had melted my fucking heart, because what?

This year, I’d been forced upon them. But instead of making me feel like an intruder, they did what they always did and made me feel like one of their own.

“Love, will you get that for us?” Denise called out to me just as the doorbell went, “It’ll only be the postman.”

I smiled and nodded, happy to be of some help whilst she sent herself into a tizzy over tinsel. There’d been many deliveries as of late, so I was pretty much used to adding to the post-pile that was going on in the downstairs office.

Wandering out of the kitchen I padded over to the front door, opening it only to find that the postman wasn't there at all.

I blinked stupidly at the sight I was met with, a bright pink cab had taken over the majority of Denise’s driveway and getting out of the backseat was only my Nana.

The door handle fell from my grasp as I stepped forward on instinct, unsure of what the hell was even happening. “Nana?”

The older woman smiled over at me, eyes twinkling with mirth. Then a voice shouted out and I spotted a head of bright red curls fly out from behind the car’s boot to greet me, “Aunt Del too, Dove!”

“What?” I muttered, still so bewildered, but then I caught sight of another familiar face, a face that I didn’t think I'd be seeing until tomorrow. “Did you do this?”

George just chuckled softly, stepping closer to help my Nana over the gravel walkway, but he wasn’t the one who replied to my question. “Came down to fetch us, din’t he?” Nana replied in his stead, stretching a hand out once she got close enough, I blinked again and hurried to take it.

“He did?” I heard myself murmur, still so in shock. Practically rocking with the explosion of it.

Nana gave a sweet laugh, wrapping me up in a much needed hug and pressing a gentle kiss to my head before she pulled away, “Phoned us up a bit ago, wanted to surprise ya, darlin’.”

“Well, God. I’m surprised, that’s for sure.”

They all laughed, probably at the expression cast over my mug, but I couldn’t find it in me to even rebuke them. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“Best believe it, doll.” Aunt Del replied, smiling over at me whilst she and George trailed the bags they’d seemingly brought with them up onto the front step. “Our Georgie here went an’ planned it all, picked him up from the train station this morning.”

I let Del tackle me into another tight hug, allowing her to pepper me with a barrel full of kisses. All the while it seemed that Denise and Matty had come out to see what all the fuss was about, only- they didn’t look shocked at all.

“Surprise?” Denise sang out when she caught my gawping, waving a hand out from where she stood in the doorway.

“Did you all know?” I asked, my mind racing to catch up with the situation at hand. “How- I- This is so mad.”

Matty snorted at my crappy attempt at a sentence but I watched as he made his way on over, his mum just behind, so that they could introduce themselves. “All G’s idea, mate. Knew you were missing them and so, yeah we made this happen.”

“I can’t- just, wow.” Then I glanced over to where the one person that currently meant so much to me stood on the outskirts simply watching on. He glanced back.

“Merry Christmas, B.” George said, grinning slightly over at me, obviously pleased with my stuttering reaction.

I released the heavy breath I hadn’t even realised I'd been holding and strode over towards him, he caught me in his arms and held me with a prominent strength I didn’t know he had.

“Thank you.” I whispered once I felt as though I could, tears threatening to fall at the sincerity of it all. Never had I ever been so surprised. “Thank you.” I repeated and pressed a light kiss to the skin of his neck that was hiding behind the collar of his shirt and other many layers.

George squeezed me a little closer, then rocked us back and forth. When I finally pulled away I peered up at him with wet eyes and the brightest smile.

“I can’t believe you got away with all this.”

He laughed, but not his typical kind, no, this one was loud and carefree. Honest.

“Is that all you really care about?” He asked me, teasing, hands now at my hips.

I grinned upwards, “‘Course, can’t believe you did all this under my nose!”

Turning back towards the crowd that had gathered by the door, George’s arm fell to a loose hold on my waist and we made our way back over. Denise was already chatting away with Aunt Del and Nana had somehow roped Matty into an explanation about the band and the few stories she’d heard through G and I during our catchup calls.

At that moment, my heart had never felt so full. In fact, I don’t know how any other Christmas could top it.

–

It had been a lovely day. The most amazing time, actually.

It still felt so unreal to look over and spot Denise in her wedding gown, all happy and glowing. In Portugal of all places, too! Matty was currently off trying to get with one of the many girls attending his mum’s reception, whilst his younger brother, Lou, tested his charm on a couple of the older folk in an attempt to make a bit of money, everyone else seemed fine to just putter about from table to table.

It had started to spit a little while ago, summer rain they’d said, and so I was the only one still standing out in the garden now, the rest of the party somewhere inside the villa or over at the gazebo. My bridesmaid dress was speckled with tiny water droplets that shimmered in the late setting sun but nothing too heavy. The rain here was almost a total contrast to that back home.

“There you are.” I heard someone say just as a pair of hands came to wind themselves around my waist, I leant back in their hold, smiling at the familiarity. “Thought you’d done a runner.”

“Nah, just enjoying the last of the sun.” I hummed, intertwining my fingers with his atop my stomach.

“As well as the rain.” George added with a light chuckle, but he didn’t seem to mind it much either. I nodded lightly, then felt him tuck my head under his chin. “Ross is sloshed.” He told me.

“Already?” I asked around a soft laugh, he hummed. “Lightweight.”

The noise from the party seemed to trickle out to greet us, but no one else seemed to want to step out into the rain. Content with the warmth inside.

“You havin’ a good time?”

I smiled at the question as well as the thumb that soothed the back of my hand. “The best.” I told him honestly, “It’s all been so lovely. Reckon I’d want something like this, you know.”

George was quiet for a long second before he spoke again, “Thought you didn’t want to be tied down. As free as a bird and all that.”

Chuckling, I shrugged a single shoulder. “Dunno. Seems cool, plus you get all that cake.”

An ugly snort escaped George at that, “Only in it for the cake then, I ‘spose.”

With a grin I tilted my head back so that he could see me, “Always!”

He narrowed his eyes down at me, eyelashes fanning the skin beneath them, then tugged me in a bit tighter, “You’re a right menace, you know that?” He murmured against the jut of my collar. I squirmed slightly in his hold, his breath tickling my neck.

“I guess it’d be nice to have a big party too.” I tacked on, if only to tease him further. And it appeared to work too, because he spun me around in his arms and I laughed at the unexpectedness of it.

The rain started to come down a little harder then, but I could hardly feel it with the weight of his gaze on me and the beam of the sun. An old Billy Idol song echoed out into the courtyard from the main room and George grinned at the sound, a favourite. “Fancy a dance?”

“What, back in there?” I wondered, not really all that up for being back amongst everyone else just yet.

George just shook his head though, as if reading my mind, and then dragged me further out onto the grass where the dampness which clung to the clipped stems soaked my feet.

He started to sway then, in time to the beat of Eyes Without A Face.

“Didn’t think you even could dance.” I murmured to him, then giggled as he spun me out, raindrops flicking up the backs of my legs before roping me back in.

“Full of surprises, me.” He quipped before dipping me into an exaggerated bend.

I gasped, unable to help myself, then shook my head, hair falling with it. “Warn me next time.”

George just grinned, eyes squinting with the power of it, then pulled me in closer, chest to chest now. His hands on my back, mine wrapped behind his neck. “Would make things boring, wouldn’t it?”

“What’s so bad about boring?” I shot back.

He huffed, the force of it fluttering my dampening hair and catching on the shell of my ear. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” He assured me and I heard more than saw his smile.

Pleased, I hummed, loosening my hold on him so that I could rest my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. The rain continued to fall on and around us, neither George nor I caring for the way it clung to every available inch of our skin.

“I love you.” I heard him mutter above me, so softly I hardly even felt it resonate in his chest.

I turned to glance up at him again at that, eyes trailing across every inch of his face, taking in every detail he had to offer. “How do you know? For sure?” I questioned him in a faint whisper even though there wasn't another soul about to hear. I was still smiling away, only it was ever so soft, so warm.

He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, “I know I love you because even on my worst days you’re all that gets through. There’s no pretending with us, you know every inch of me, the good, the bad, and still, you choose to stay. So I’ll love you today, and then tomorrow. I’ll love you til the day I die, and if there’s life after that, I'll love you then too.”

My eyes watered at the hit of his words, having expected something stupid like ‘you give good head’, or something as simple as ‘I just do’.

“You always manage to surprise me, you know that?” I chuckled quietly, fingers threading through the length of his hair.

George lifted his brows in turn and so I just smiled, humming as I coaxed him closer so that I could finally lean in for a kiss.

“I love you.” I repeated his earlier words once we parted, laughing loudly when he swept me up off my feet and around in a circle.

“You’d better.” He quipped straight back, laughing now too before he slipped on the damp grass beneath us and sent us both sailing to the ground.

“George!”

But he continued to just chuckle away, eyes bright and beaming. God, I thought, I was so, so gone.

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fallingforel · 3 months

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I also went through your prompt list and I’d love to see you write something for Sam with this 63: “I hate seeing you like this.”

Thank you so much!! 😘

THIS IS SO SO SO LATE!!! i apologise ive just been going through INSANE writers block so i think ive finally come up with something! i’ve decided to combine these and i hope your happy with it!!! I honestly had half of this written before my christmas series but I had just got around to finishing it now.

prompts 14, 17, 18, 21, 63: “That’s new.” “Are you okay?” “I’ve got you.”“Do you like it?” “i hate seeing you like this”

words: 680

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“honey, I’m home. I’ve got you something too” sam shouted up the stairs, sam and I had been together for 2 years now and it was going good, we were a well established couple, living together having just moved in to a new house together this spring. I was upstairs in bed just scrolling through my phone looking at everyone that went to the eras tour over the weekend. i missed the ticket sales though, having just moved in with sam everything was a bit hectic.

“Up here” I shouted back. Footsteps soon echoed up the stairs. and then to the door which opened up and sam popped his head round before noticing me in bed. “what you doing gorgeous?” “just scrolling on instagram. Whaddya get me?” “ahhh ever the impatient miss Y/L/N. I got you a couple things actually while I was out with mum. close yer eyes and hold out yer hands then.” I did as I was told and felt the bed dip beside me and something hook onto my fingers. “reet. this is yer first one, open them” I opened my eyes to be met with a bag from Primark. i looked through the bag to find a grey sparkly top and bottoms along with a pair of black heeled boots and a track suit bottoms with trainers. "Do you like it darling?"

“of course I do, I love it, I love anything you get me Sam, Thank you. But what’s all this for?” I ask turning my head to look at him. “reet, the tracksuit and trainers are because ye always steal mine and then I never have any left to wear but the sparkly set and boots are for something we’re going to tonight. but I can’t say until you’ve opened the rest of yer presents like.” “wowww more than one present from my boyfriend, that’s new” “shuddup, yer divvy” “i’m only kidding idiot” i say going in for a kiss but he swerves me for his cheek. “not until yer’ve opened the rest of yer presents, same position again” he says grabbing my hands and holding them over my eyes "oooh kinky" "shurrup yer divvy" he says and I hear sams bedside drawer open and i feel something being placed in my lap. "reet yer can look now" I open my eyes to find a card in my lap. "Sam are you okay? Why have you got me a card yer haven't missed an anniversary or a birthday." "Just open it will yer." he says getting impatient. I open the envelope to find a card that reads "just to say I love you" I open the card and a piece of paper falls out that has tonights date on it and eras tour. I start crying. "ohhh y/n. If I had known you would act like this I wouldn't have got you them, I hate seeing you like this darling" he says "I'm fine Sam honestly, happy tears I promise." "Okay if your sure. go and get yourself ready then darling we need to be at the train station in an hour, we're staying in london aswell" "Oh I love you sam" I say looping my hands around his neck and bringing him in for a kiss.

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2 hours later we arrived in london and had made it to check in at our hotel and dumped our stuff and walked to wembley stadium and made our way to the VIP tent.

It got closer to the evermore set and it wasn't long before marjorie started playing and I had broke down crying as I had lost my own nan who I was very close to at the start of the year. Sam saw that I had started crying so he held my phone for me and looped his free arm around my waist and nuzzled his face into my neck after whispering "I've got you darling" and placing a kiss on my cheek. It was definetely one of my favourite moments I've ever had with sam, and I will cherish it forever.

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end.

#sam fender fanfic #sam fender x reader #sam fender imagines #sam fender imagine #sam fender #sam fender fluff #sam fender concert #erastourimagine #marjorie

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fallingforel · 3 months

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George girlies it is your time to shine

(specifically for @wrongendofurcigarette, @alwaysanagelneveragod, and @grocerystorelist lol <3)

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fallingforel · 3 months

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i needed this 🙏🙏🙏

More George porn to bless your Wednesday.

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fallingforel · 3 months

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// iheart ALTer Ego, 13.01.24 //

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fallingforel · 3 months

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so whose dick do I have to suck to get what should I say on the setlist for this tour?

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fallingforel · 3 months

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So sorry i’ve been MIA.

Over new years I suddenly lost my nan and i’ve been having to help my mum sort some bits out so sorry i’ve been M.I.A. I know I promised to get the rest of the christmas prompts out but I don’t think i’ll be continuing with them. however if somebody wants them to come out/ requests them i’ll be more than happy to write them for you 🫶 I’ll be focusing on my WIP’s and the next Arabella chapter to come out soon! Love you all and don’t forget i still take requests! so please keep leaving me messages because i’ll always be floating about somewhere.

anyway lots of love el xx

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fallingforel · 4 months

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Promptmas day 7-All I want for christmas- Matty healy

A/n a very merry christmas to all those who celebrate sorry this one’s a bit of a sad one and i don’t really like it but at least it’s okay(?) love el xx

p.s i will be writing the rest by new years i promise the prompts will be done by the end of the year xx

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It was the run up to christmas and my best friend matty and I were doing our annual christmas together. it was like this every year spending christmas with mattys family since my parents had died, 4 years ago. Matty and I had been best mates since we were 14 I can still remember it as clear as day.

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20 years ago,

“what are you doing here?” I ask the curly haired boy stood in my smoking spot, i came here to clear my head on days where i wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with my peers, it wasn’t deep feeling, it was just a sense of feeling I didn’t belong.

“smoking?” he says but more questioning it. “you look like you need a fag.” he says moving his hand that held the cigarette over his eyes, suggesting my eyes which were red roar from where i had been crying over another girl who had called me a bitch and slag.

“i do. your in my spot.” i say back dryly not being bothered with tone and dealing with another person today. “am i? i didn’t realise this was a spot with your name marked on it?” he remarks quite snappily. “it is.” i move over to where he was stood moving him slightly so i could point to where my name was carved out on the wall, “y/n’s spot, huh. so it is. my bad. i’ve heard a lot of things about you, I don’t believe them by the way. I’ve seen you around, you seem like a nice lass. m’names matty by the way.” “nice to meet you. why don’t you believe the things said about me? everyone else does.” “think you’re just misunderstood, like i am, everyone in this shitty school spreads things about people. I’ve had my fair share of the comments too. so have ross and george. not adam though. he keeps to himself.” “who are adam ross and george?” “my mates they’d like you. we’re friends now by the way” he says leaning in to give me a hug.

and that was that. after we had finished our fags he introduced me to the rest of his friends and we were our own group, matty and I were the closest though. we were the most misunderstood people in that school, ross adam and george still stood by us though. I think matty was the only one who truly understood what i was going through though.

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23rd december, 2023

“are you excited, mums excited. she says she’s got lots planned for us this year. something about going out in town? she said you’d know” Matty says from the drivers seat, it was like this every year, matty would tell me what the plan was. we always drove down on the 23rd, splitting the drive we’d swap half way through. “oh yeah. she wants a girls day, we’re doing a spot of christmas shopping and coffee and after we’ve finished that we’d all go to my mum and dads grave after we’ve finished shopping. Are you coming? you don’t have to.” I say changing the radio station, it was my parents favourite christmas song. this time of year was always the hardest time for me, my parents loved christmas. but as long as i busied myself and spent it surrounded by my second family. “Yeah. we’ll all go. we always do darling. i’m not going to leave you to do that on your own am i? i’ve never left you high and dry. have i?” “apart from when you were in rehab” “apart from when I was in rehab. but apart from that never happened. has it?” “no. your right. sorry” “what you saying sorry for daft cow?” matty chuckles. “i don’t know. you know what im like this time of year.” “I do, that’s why it’s going to be a good Christmas with the healys darling, we always make it fun” he says focusing on the road now more than ever as we were closer to the northern quarter now so it was bad weather, and the wind was blowing about everywhere.

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“oh y/n I’m so glad you’re here, lincoln and louis are driving me insane, i need some girl presence in the house” she says linking our arms and dragging me away from the car, “cheers mum. just let me drag all the shit inside yeah?” “language matthew! and yes, your a big boy you can do it, if you need help you have your brother and lincoln.” she says shouting towards where mattys car sat on the drive.

“you and I are going out in town in a bit, we should definitely have a cuppa first. you must be exhausted after the drive. did he make you drive this year?” “we always say that we’ll split it but he never lets me. i thought this year would finally be the year especially with the wind, but no.” “it’s good that he does that, i would tell him off if he made you drive” “i think that’s mainly why he doesn’t you know? he doesn’t want a bollocking from his mother when you see me step out of the drivers seat” “probably, boys and their mothers hey?” she says handing me my cup of tea“yeah i know, thank you.” i say taking it from her.

“how are you coping anyway? i know this time of year is always difficult for you love.” “yeah, i’m doing okay. i mean im not completely okay. i never will be i think, but im the best i can be, you are always welcoming the lot of you. thank you for having me.” “no worries. i’ve known you for twenty years darling, your family. it’d be stupid to say no, besides you’ve been spending christmas with us for twenty years in one way or another. i’d be stupid to say no to not spending christmas with my daughter in law” i laugh “you have got to stop calling me that” i say tapping her arm “it’s bound to happen one way or another, your both besotted with eachother. he hasn’t been with anyone since gabby.” “no. i’m not in love with him” “you are, you just haven’t realised it yet my love” “denise!“ “okay! okay! i’ll stop. but you’ll realise it, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day, one day you’ll realise.”

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it had been a good day, after finishing our cups of tea, denise and i headed in to town grabbing some last minute christmas presents. we found some nice crackers in town and decided that we would put pull one and put it in the middle of my mum and dads grave so it looked like they were there with us. we were just heading in to costa after putting our bags into the car to have a coffee where we were meeting louis matty lincoln and tim before heading to my parents grave to put some flowers down. we did it every year, due to my parents being close to everyone in mattys family. so they came along with me, i think it’s also mainly because they don’t want me doing it alone though. i don’t mind the extra company though.

“merry christmas mum and dad. I love you, hope you’re spreading joy up there.” I say placing the flowers and in the middle of their graves then placing and kissing both of their headstones. “merry christmas y/m/n and y/d/n. thank you for everything you did for us. we love you.” matty says next going to kiss their headstones.

matty and i pulled the cracker and placed the joke hat and gift around it and stepped back.

we stood there for a few minutes making sure their graves were clean before leaving.

⋆｡°✩

a little bit later after dinner everyone had moved into the living room and started playing games. i excused myself to go sit out on the porch so i could have a moment to myself, i was incredibly grateful for the company. but i just need a moment from all the hustle and bustle of the healy’s to reflect on memories of christmases spent with my parents and talk to them.

i was on my second fag when i heard the door close behind me “you’ve been out here for an hour y/n. are you okay” mattys voice breaks the silence of the night. “i’m okay. i just miss my mum and dad. i wish i had them back. you know?” “Im not going to lie to you and say I understand, because i don’t. but i will say this, We all miss them very much. and i know right now you feel like a burden but i promise you’re not, you never have been y/n. you’re a healy through and through, we’ve spent 20 years being friends sweetheart, my family love you I love you.” he says while inching closer and closer towards me until my back is pressed against his chest “what are you saying matthew?” I ask turning to face him our faces coming closer than i thought they would be. “i’m saying that I love you, i always have darling. and I would like santa to give me you. that’s all i want for christmas. you.” “matty. I-“ tears roll down my face my voice coming out in choked sobs before i manage to say “I love you too matty. thank you for showing me that the whole world isn’t against me. i think it’d be nice to have each other for christmas. i haven’t got you anything anyway” i say joking before crashing my lips on to his.

⋆｡°✩

end.

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