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lonesome-witching · 7 months

Text

The World Can Know

I have gotten the request to write a celebrity AU by @rabbitofdeath-atcastleaarrggh based on this post by @autismbarbie (I think). And I have to say I absolutely loved that post so much that I was a little excited to write this.

You can read my previous prompts or send me some new ones.

It had all started with a drunken tweet. She shouldn’t have been drunk. It was only 2 pm and she was supposed to be working. But she had finished the last song for her album, and somebody had pulled out a bottle of champagne and now she was sipping lukewarm beers in the recording booth and scrolling through twitter.

It was then that Robin Buckley saw a picture of Nancy Wheeler. It wasn’t that she had never seen her before, she had seen Nancy everywhere. A couple of days ago, she and Steve had gone to see one of her movies. And Robin had returned the next day to watch it again. So, she knew of Nancy Wheeler. She had seen her all dolled up in movies and on red carpets. She had spent an embarrassing long time staring at her in that flowy top with her dark red lips at the Paris fashion week just a few nights ago.

The only difference was that all of those times Robin hadn’t been drunk, and therefore had been able to refrain herself from making her tiny obsession public knowledge. But this time as she noticed the picture of Nancy Wheeler in a simple blue shirt, purple cap and sunglasses walking in New York, the same streets Robin walked every single day, she was drunk.

Her fingers were typing out the words before her mind had registered them. Her thumb only hesitated a second before posting the tweet.

Literally dont FUCKIGN talk to me if u r not Nancy wheeler btw!!! dont even say hi i’ll be pissed

She regretted that tweet that same night when a text from Steve told her to check twitter. The memory of her own embarrassment came flooding back and the only reason she opened her account was with the pure intention of deleting the entire thing. That was her intention until she noticed the notification. It was a simple reply, just a simple hi with a smiley face behind it. The main reason Robin nearly went into cardiac arrest was that it was from Nancy freaking Wheeler.

Talking with Nancy had been surprisingly easy. They had hung out a few times, going for walks after dark and eating take out in Nancy’s luxurious apartment. Robin had even invited Nancy to the recording studio after a mix up with the vocals forced her to drop everything. They often talked until the early morning hours, laughing and crying like kids at their first sleepover.

Now that Robin was able to see Nancy in real life it became obvious that the pictures and movies didn’t do her justice. That she looked best when she woke up with her hair all messed up and her eyes only half open.

It also became obvious that Robin was falling in love with her. Robin had difficulty not staring or stuttering when they hung out. She would always trip over her words whenever she tried to give Nancy a genuine compliment. And when Nancy returned the favor her cheeks would heat up and turn bright red. The words ‘I’m in love with Nancy Wheeler’ might as well have been tattooed on her forehead.

As the months crawled forward Robin and Nancy hung out more and more. Even when Nancy had to go to LA for some promotion material for her newest premiere, they called every night. Robin would listen attentively to Nancy chattering about her day as she stayed up way too late talking the other girl to sleep.

It almost felt like they were dating. Almost.

Robin tried her best not to dream about that possibility. After all, she had already gotten way too lucky to have her idol in her life.

Robin checked her phone for the thousandth time, waiting for a reply from Nancy. But as her screen lit up, she saw nothing but her lock screen. It had been a mere 9 hours since she last received a text from Nancy. She could survive 9 hours without Nancy. She had to.

Robin checked her phone again when the doorbell rang out, echoing through her too empty apartment. She dropped the phone on the couch and got up, shuffling to the door. On the other side stood Nancy Wheeler, her hair wet and dripping raindrops on the floor.

“It’s raining,” she stated as her eyes stared into Robin’s face.

“Nance? What are you doing here? Come in, come here.” Robin pulled her in, nearly hugging her. “I’m going to get you a towel… And— and some dry clothes. You should shower. I thought you were in LA.”

“I just got back. I— Robin, I need to speak with you.”

Robin stopped running around, a pink towel in her hand that nearly dropped to the floor as she saw the expression on Nancy’s face. “Okay.”

“I—” Nancy frowned. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Maybe at the beginning,” Robin offered.

“I don’t know if there is a beginning. And I’m hoping this isn’t the end. I just feel like there is middle. Everything has been the middle. I can’t start at the beginning because there isn’t one. There is just you.”

“Me?”

Nancy nodded, taking a deep breath. “There is just you. And then there is me. And I’m hoping you and me could be an us.” Nancy’s teeth were digging into her bottom lip and Robin worried she’d draw blood.

“What are you—” Realization dawned on her. Nancy’s doe eyes and nervous expressions might have not been enough, but her words were clear. “Oh.”

Nancy nodded again, barely. “Do you think—”

“Yes. I like that. I’d really like to be an us.”

Nancy’s lips turned into a bright smile as she closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together.

“I wrote you a song,” Robin said about two weeks after their first kiss.

They were laying in Nancy’s bed, cuddling and kissing. It had been heavenly to be cooped up in Nancy’s flat the entire day. It had been marvelous to sink into her mattress and feel her lips all over her body. And now Robin was enjoying the warmth of her girlfriend.

“You wrote me a song?” Nancy asked with a soft voice.

“I did.”

“That is so sweet.” Robin could hear the smile in Nancy’s voice.

“I was hoping you would be in the video.”

“I would love to be in the video.”

They had agreed to keep their relationship to themselves until the video came out. Which Robin knew, logically speaking, wasn’t very long. It was supposed to be released in less than a month time so it would align with Nancy’s premiere.

But Robin was ecstatic about her new situation, and she had lasted about 3 days after they had agreed. It had at first been a slip of the thumb. She had taken this adorable picture of Nancy and couldn’t not post it. Maybe she could have used a more ambiguous caption than ‘gf reveal’ but she had slipped up. It was Nancy’s fault for being so cute.

It was only when no one believed her that she kept going, that she kept tweeting about Nancy and her dating. Not that it helped.

“They still don’t believe me. It’s insane.”

Nancy laughed softly. “At least I know it’s true.,” she said as she pulled the phone out of Robin’s hands and crawled onto her lap.

The premiere of Nancy’s movie was scheduled for Friday. The music video was going to drop Thursday. Robin smiled as she thought about it. But tonight, on this beautiful Monday evening, Nancy was curled up into her side as they watched the Late Night Show together. Nancy was on this episode and when she was announced Robin cheered at the screen, much to her girlfriend’s amusement.

“So, we have to ask, is there anyone special you are taking to the premiere on Friday?”

“Well, actually, there is,” screen Nancy answered, and Robin’s eyes widened. “I’ll be taking my girlfriend, Robin Buckley.”

Nancy’s arms tightened around Robin’s waist. “So, I may have told the world.”

“Yeah,” Robin replied, nodding at the screen, not even registering the reaction from the audience.

“You’re not mad, are you?” Nancy looked up with those soft doe eyes.

“Mad? Why would I be mad? I’m delighted. I’ve been talking about it for ages now. All I wanted was you and for the whole world to know.” She lowered her face to press a kiss on her girlfriend’s lips.

#prompts #ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #my work #stranger things #fanfic #robin x nancy #nancy x robin #ronance fic

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gretavanbear · 1 year

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eclipse ; three

[notes :

2.4k words!

hi molly have fun reading

here is the link for the playlist !!!]

thursday passed by like the speed of light, you focused on your homework and basically stayed in bed all day. you had not talked to the boys today, at all, not because you didn't want to but because you needed this homework done. it was that damn needing-to-always-be-early thing. your essay was due in five days and you were already done. in a way it was a good thing, because it made you very productive.

to treat yourself you decided to take yourself out for a little coffee. it was six pm and the sun was setting, the fall weather really coming in now. you dressed warm, with a big wool sweater and some comfortable leggings. the coffee shop was only about a seven minute walk due to being on campus, closest to your dorm.

as you step in, the smell of coffee is immediately comforting, the barista immediately recognizing you. you come here often, and it was so surprise she knew your name.

"hey, [y/n], right?" she smiles. she places her hands on the register as you walk over to her.

"yeah! hi!" you greet her with a smile. she had short hair and brown eyes, a smaller figure with a ton of energy. she was always super kind to you when you came to do some work.

"i'm alice. i don't think i ever introduced myself." she smiles, happiness pours out of her and it's so comforting. this whole place is amazing.

"so, one chai latte coming up!" she beams as she punches it into the system, the little ticket printing out as you pay for the coffee with your phone- not realizing you had an unopened text until now.

"by the way" alice begins, her voice low. you turn your attention to her as you look into hazel eyes, and she smiles softly. "there's a boy who asked what your order was earlier, i dont know you or him but it looks like he really likes you" she smiles. you gasp softly, your mind immediately drifting to jake shyly asking for your drink at the counter.

"i don't think so..." you say, as she hands you the warm mug.

"from what i saw.. definitely" she confirms and you smile softly. thanking her and sitting at a table in the back. you put on your headphones and click on your favourite playlist, as you doodle in your notebook.

jake: Hey, [y/n], have you started working on the essay?

you: yes! well, i'm done haha

jake: You're done? The whole thing?

you: yeahhh....

jake: I was going to ask if we could work on it together.

jake: But you're done

you: we can still work on it! i'll help you, we can work on it after class tomorrow?

jake: Yes, please.

and before you can actually focus on what you're drawing, you realize it's jake and josh, directing a movie together.

you woke up extra early this thursday morning, and wanted to dress super cute since fall was your favourite season. layers and comfy sweaters was your thing. you wore some tights with a skirt on top of them, a black sweater with a white turtleneck underneath. for shoes, you put your docs on with some thick socks. you had jake and josh on your mind since last night; thoughts of what they'd be wearing today, what you were going to talk about. you even did your makeup, wanting to feel extra pretty for some reason. the thought of seeing them both simply making you so giddy.

you walk into the classroom and your eyes immediately search for them, their brown eyes and soft smiles look for you as well and you quickly walk over to them. as you arrive to the row where they're sat, you realize they left an empty seat between them. you offer a soft smile as you walk closer, and your heart beat quickens.

to sit between them you need to basically pass over jake's lap, and the thought makes you incredibly nervous as you wore a pretty short skirt. you finally reach their seats and greet them, then awkwardly trip over your own feet and land on jake's lap. your whole ass is pressed up against his crotch and he gasps in response. you can't help but feel something against you and you push the thought away immediately.

"fuck- sorry- i'm clumsy" your face burns up as his hand reaches your back. you hide your face for a couple of seconds as you realize what just happened.

"are you alright?" he asks you as you stand up, embarrassed. his cheeks are red and his lips are dark. you nod slowly and sit down in your seat, wanting to hide yourself from the world. you ignore him for a couple seconds as you try not to die from embarrassment; digging through your bag as you grab your computer and pull it out, placing it on the little table attached to the seat.

"you look really pretty today" josh smiles, placing his hand on your shoulder. he wore a white long sleeve with lined grey pants and some white vans. he looked very adorable.

"thank you, josh" you smile, looking down and playing with the hem of your skirt, the feeling of your heart beating hard in your chest making you feel so embarrassed still.

you feel jake shift in his seat and clear his throat, biting his lip as he turns on his computer. your eyes drift to the post-it you left a couple days ago; and how he taped it down onto the cold material of the computer so it wouldn’t be able to move.

the feeling of shame fills you as you’ve probably made him uncomfortable, and you want to cry. your eyes begin to fill with tears as you clear your throat and your fingers shake slightly against your keyboard, typing in your password. you feel jake’s eyes on you as he raises his arm to level it with yours, his hand caressing yours for a couple of seconds.

“it’s okay” he says softly, his eyes reassuring you instantly. it's almost as if he could read your thoughts, know how you feel. you nod slowly but drift your eyes away from him, the feeling still being so present.

your class was over and you didn't speak much to either one of them, which upset you a little. the excitement you felt this morning ruined by your stupid clumsiness.

josh had another class so it was just you and jake. you said your goodbyes to josh as he left and shifted your attention to jake, who was smiling softly at you. unfortunately, the coffee shop was closed today due to their shipment not coming in and they were completely out of stock.

"we can.. go to my dorm.. if you want" you suggest hesitantly, but your crush on jake was not going away and you felt comfortable with him; but also the guilt from earlier making you really want to help him with his homework.

"are you sure, [y/n]? don't do this because of earlier" he says softly, his eyes giving you a worried look as his hand makes its way to your shoulder. you shake your head 'no'.

"it's okay. i trust you, lets go because it's getting cold" you chuckle and he smiles, following you to your dorm room on the other side of campus. he walks close to you, his arm brushing against yours a couple of times which send butterflies all inside your stomach.

as you reach the door of your dorm room, you unlock the door and let him in first; he walks past you and smiles as he sees the way you decorated and personalized the room. you had a tiny radio next to your bed, black fluffy sheets and black pillows. you had hung up fake plants and fairy lights to the ceiling; giving the dead room some life. you had a dark grey rug on the floor next to a little beanbag where you did your class assigned readings. there was a pile of books on your desk next to your bed, and a notebook with your doodles inside.

“why film?” he asks, turning to you as his eyes staring deeply into yours.

“well, i just find it so interesting. the entire process of creating a movie is fascinating to me.” you respond, a small smile creeps on your lips.

“do you want to be a director or producer?” he questions you, wanting to know everything. he sits on your bed, closest to the wall.

you sit on the other side of your bed, resting your back against the cold wall. “uhm- well, i don’t think so. those jobs make you be the boss of people and i’ve always been sort of a background character so-“

“not to me.” he smiles, opening his computer. the words that come out of his mouth causes your cheeks to burn, and you want to push his computer and kiss him, right now. but the thought that he might not feel the same way holds you back.

"are you okay if i put some music on while we work? it just helps me focus" you say shyly and he nods right away, watching you as you plug in your phone to the little radio and press your favourite playlist, then sitting next to jake as you look over his essay. he already had two paragraphs written which surprised you.

as you lean towards him, your head is inches from his shoulder while you read his work, your fingers scrolling on the trackpad of the computer placed on his lap. the fact that your hand is so close to his.. it makes you very nervous- him sucking in his breath doesn't help either. the smell of his musky cologne doesn't help, because it's so sexy. it was hard to focus on the homework as he was right there, in your room, in your bed. and you wanted him bad. but the fear held you back- the fear that he didn't think of you this way.

you decided to walk jake back to his dorm room, he had advanced himself greatly on his essay which made you really happy. you could tell it made him happy too since we already had a lot more homework from other classes. he shows you which building is his and lets you in before him.

the door opens and reveals josh working at the desk in the corner of the room. you look at how they've decorated- posters on the walls, they had matching burgundy sheets on the bed. the thing that caught your eye first though, was the electric guitar next to the desk.

"hi josh! guitar!!!!" you say excitedly. you turn to jake who is now behind you, he chuckles a little. "yours?" you ask and he nods.

"hi, [y/n]" josh smiles, turning the chair from the desk towards you. he stands up and walks over, giving you a small hug. as his arms wrap around you- the musky vanilla scent rubs off and your heart flutters at how.. comforting he feels. if you could describe josh in one word; it'd be soft. or.. sunshine?

and jake... jake was the moon, the opposite of his brother. he was soft, for sure, but dark. the darkness is what intrigued you- what you wanted to know more about.

"did you get your homework done, jakey?" josh looks up at his brother as he settles on the bed which is placed on the left of the room, jake sits on the right bed. you decide to steal josh's previous spot at their desk. you set down your keys on the desk as you sit down.

"he made a lot of progress" you smile, answering for him. jake nods and looks at his brother for approval. josh stares at his brother proudly, then writes something down on his little notebook which was on the bed. the desk was close enough for you to see what he wrote.

'i've got love in my heart, for an army apart, i am bleeding'

though you don't understand anything from what he meant by that; the action makes you smile. you wonder what inspired josh to write that; and seeing the proud look he gave his brother makes you feel all warm inside.

"i'm really happy to see the progress you made, jake" you smile and he thanks you, taking out his computer and placing it on his bed. "i'm gonna head back, i'm pretty tired" you can't help but yawn, getting up and saying your goodbyes to the pretty boys who swam your thoughts all day long. jake opens his mouth to respond but josh cuts him off.

"let me walk you out, [y/n]" he says kindly and you nod, watching him open the door and leading you down the stairs. as you reach the front glass doors of the dorm, josh grabs your hand softly. he pulls you closer to him, your back against the wall as you look up at him. you feel your heartbeat quicken as his brown orbs stare down into you.

"i like you" he says softly and you can't breathe, this can't be real.

"y-you do?" your whole body feels numb, the air is thin as he's so close, his face inches away from yours as his arms are on each side of your body. he nods slowly, leaning in...

his lips crash into yours softly, the feeling driving you wild, they're so soft, and warm. he kisses you so sweetly- almost as if he's afraid you'll break under his touch. you kiss him back, your hands making their way to the back of his neck and into his soft curly hair. he presses his body against yours, the wall making it so you can't go anywhere but closer to him.

once he pulls away, you breathe out harshly to catch your breath- in complete shock. he backs up from you as the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs startles the both of you. he bites his bottom lip nervously has his hand rubs the back of his neck- mustering up the courage to ask you something.

"[y/n], would you like to get a drink with me tomorrow night?" he asks, his voice soft and shy. you waste no second to nod, offering a small smile. he smiles back, giving you a small hug before you leave.

"[y/n]! you forgot your keys." jake runs down the stairs, handing them off to you quickly, his eyes examining you and josh who's completely flushed. he gives a puzzled expression to his brother before saying goodnight to you, offering a little wave before you walk away.

your thoughts filled with the feeling of josh's lips against yours.

{@emojakekiszka @sarakay-gvf , @positivegvfthings @milkgemini @gretavanfleas @spark-my-nature @whorefourjakekiszka @maddie-van-fleet @rachiekiszkaadmin @lo-pe-ak @lek-gvf @theweightofjake @rad-space-princess @gretavanval }

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hailthedoll · 2 years

Text

Dating Bam Margera Would Include...

babe

im jealous of you

seriously

so meeting bam probably at a party or something

you both aren’t really sure how you both started talking but you did and once you started you really couldn’t stop

after meeting each other bam would find himself constantly thinking about you which to him was sort of weird

like the dudes famous

he meets hundreds or thousands of girls

but for some reason he just couldn’t stop thinking about you

because of that he knew he had to see you again

he did

and when he did bam wasted no time asking you out on a date

it was something simple like taking you to the skate park so he could show off and then taking you somewhere he thought you would like or have fun at like a mall or getting coffee or something

and again after that date bam wasted no time asking you to be his girlfriend

he just really like the connection you guys have

and he hasn’t been with someone who complimented him so well before

you were just really fun and quickly became his best friend along with his girlfriend

the pet names

babe, baby, baby girl, dude

he likes to spend money on you

mall trips happen often and everytime you go shopping bam pays

you dont ask him to and he doesnt ask you if he can

he just hands the cashier his card before you can even get yours out

as great as it is bam is also a asshole

he loves to prank you

pick on you

tease you

he does anything to annoy you

but only him though

like if someone else picks on you bam will pick on them

if someone else pranks you and bam isn’t involved in it then bam will prank them back

clingy.

he always wants you around

and when you are he always touches you

it can something as simple as brushing your arm or gently bumping into you when you guys are walking next to each other

or he will just grab your face and full on make out with you

or anything in between

you being best friends with april

like seriously the woman loves you

i feel like she would try to have a genuine relationship with you and not just be like she’s the one dating my son

like she’ll spend time with you or just calls you to check up on you

bam tries his hardest to show off to you

whether its a skate trick or a just a skit he’s doing he makes sure you’re watching him and is kinda like “babe did you see that?” he sometimes overplays it to make it seem like it was cooler than what is actually was

he especially does this if you didn’t see that super cool thing that he did

whiny.

not in a annoying way

well not always in a annoying way

most of the time he just whines to get your attention

spends your guys days off laying around, listening to music, and skating

speaking of that if you don’t know how to skate prepare yourself for a shit ton of lessons

bam will devote full days to teach you

they become dates

he tries to teach you and when you need a break he has food prepared for you two

even if you aren’t progressing or you’re just a all-round shitty skateboarder it’s still a excuse for him to spend time with you one on one

idk what else to say i havent written in months dont judge me i forgot how to end it

umm he loves you.

#bam margera #bam margera x reader #viva la bam #jackass #jackass x reader #bam margera fanfic #jackass fanfic #cky #cky fanfic

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sunny6677 · 2 years

Text

Stars

A Tom x Matt Fanfiction

Genre: Hurt/comfort

TWS: IMPLICATIONS OF DEPRESSION, PHYSICAL TOUCH, NICKNAMES SUCH AS 'BABY'.

-----------------

Tom had been acting particularly weird today, locking himself away inside his room and barely coming out at all. In fact, he had been acting weird even before. He wouldn't come out of his room as often, and would most often seem to space out or barely talked at all. The only time he'd ever seem to come out was for his Smirnoff.

This had worried Matt and Edd respectively; they wanted to know what was wrong with their dear friend, but they didn't want to upset him either. So they attempted to leave him alone so he wouldn't get angry with them.

However, Matt grew progressively more concerned as the day went on. While Edd did remind him not to step inside Tom's room til he was better, he couldn't help but feel as if something needed to be done. So, while making sure Edd wasn't looking, he snuck out of the living room and crept on over to Tom's room.

As he walked through the corridor, he felt a heavy weight on his chest. The weight of the feeling that something was about to happen; whether it was good or not, he did not know. But he wanted to proceed anyway.

Finally seeing Tom's door, he swallowed up his spit and walked up to the door faster than he ever did before. He could hear the sound of Tom's loud blaring fan, he could smell the scent of Smirnoff wafting from deep inside his room. He shook his head from the very intensity of the smell, in shock of how powerful it was.

Still, he placed his hand on the doorknob and swallowed his spit once more in the uncomfortable aura drifting from the room. Manifesting the bravery that he could find the courage to hold, he gently twisted the knob and opened the door. Moonlight.

The door let out a lightly loud creak, making Matt flinch. The scent and sounds from inside the room were more intense now.

He peeked his head inside the room, it was drenched with shadows and only pitch black-- the only source of light coming from the slight opening in the door.

The light revealed Tom's figure laying on his bed, bottles of smirnoff were scattered across the floor and some were even on his table.

Matt gulped, and spoke; "Uh, hey, Tom!" Tom groaned in response, lifting up his head from the protection of his arms. He looked exhausted, even though he was seemingly sleeping.

"Ma.. Matt? What are you doing in here?" A red flush flared deep on his cheeks.

Matt knew instinctively that his dear friend was drunk; as there was no other explanation for his current expression. He didn't seem too drunk, only slightly tipsy.

Matt was curious as to why there were so many bottles of smirnoff in his room. He looked down and saw that some of them were closed, some of them were open-- but the liquid inside still remained and was spilt on the floor.

Matt took a step inside and tried to smile; "Um-- well, I came to check on you! A great friend like me wouldn't leave you alone after all."

He tried to exclaim, failing to maintain his usually optimistic demeanor. Tom only groaned in response; "Well-- it's no use.. I dont-- I don't need to tell you anythin'.."

Matt raised a brow, and took another step, careful not to step on any bottles incase he might trip.

"Huh? What do you mean you don't have something to tell me? If you didn't, you wouldn't be responding right now." Tom groaned once again in reply.

"Listen, Matt, can-- can you just leave me alone? I really don't want to talk right now.." Tom pleaded, burying his face back into the shield of his arms. "Huh? How come? You seemed just fine a few days ago. Has something been up lately? You don't normally seem this gloomy." Replied Matt, now inching closer to the bed.

"N.. No, just leave me alone.." Tom's attempt to respond sounded.. off. At the very last word of his tone, it sounded as if his voice was shivering.. breaking even. Matt could have sworn he could hear slight sniffles coming from deep inside his arms.

"T-- Tom.. are-- are you okay?" Asked Matt, he placed his hand upon the cushion of the bed, a flicker of concern flashed inside his eyes.

"No, no, I'm fine-- now go away!" Tom yelled from inside the protection of his arms, Matt could now definitely heat the sound of sniffles. Tom's voice was breaking, but thats not what mattered.

A realization flickered inside Matt's chest.

"Tom.. are you.. crying?"

...

Tom didn't say anything.

...

Tom was whimpering now.

Matt didn't know what to say, Tom's head flinched back from each whimper that sounded from his mouth. His shoulders rose up and down occasionally from the impact of the possible sorrow he was going through. He could only take his silence as a yes.

"No.. no.. go away, please.. I don't want.. I don't want you to see me like this-- please.." Tom barely looked up, only revealing his eyes.

His eyes; even though they were only full of the midnight sky, for a moment, Matt could have sworn he saw a slight shimmer inside them from the tears he gave out. In fact, they almost looked like stars.

It was rare; to see a midnight sky usually cloudy and dark to be filled with such a valley of stars. He wasnt expecting to see the stars tonight, so all he could do was stand in shock at the odd sight.

Humiliation helplessly guided in Tom's shimmering eyes, making Matt wince in absolute pain. He wasn't used to seeing Tom like this, and he didn't like it.

So what could he do to make the stars go away? While it was nice seeing them for once; he didn't like seeing them in such a negative state.

Matt placed himself beside Tom.

Matt looked down at Tom's red, drunken face that only depicted a starry starry night. And tried to speak as softly as one could:

"Hey, no, no.. your okay, your okay." He repeated gently, placing one of his hands on the side of Tom's cheek. He could feel the salty tears seep onto his pale skin.

"No, no, nothings okay.. its gone all wrong.." Tom whimpered.

"Whats gone all wrong, Tommy?" Matt asked, rubbing his thumb along Tom's cheeks. Tom only looked up more and more; the stars were present even more now.

"Everything, everything's gone wrong! There's no point for me to get out of bed.. why get up? Why eat? Why make music? Why do anything? I have nothing that proves of any worth. All I ever do is just make things worse!" Cried Tom, attempting to avert his gaze from Matt's own.

Matt couldn't understand what he was saying; he didn't understand why the stars were so bright now. He didn't understand his words, his pain, his sadness. But the least he could do was try and soothe him.

Matt crawled over Tom, and gently layed himself down. As gentle as he could, he wrapped his arms around Tom's waist. And burrowed his face deep into the crook of his neck. Tom began to loosen up his arms, and.. the sniffling became louder. The whimpering was louder now. But Matt did not back down.

"Its okay.."

"No.. no it's not--"

"Shhh, i know, Tommy.. I know.."

"No, no, no.."

"I know, shh, I'm here.. your okay.."

Matt placed his face directly next to Tom's ears, and embraced him slightly tighter than he ever did before. Tom's wailing and sobbing gradually became more intense, he could feel the droplets of wet tears splash upon his hands, but he did not move for a second.

"Your okay, baby, just let it all out.." Whispered Matt into Tom's ear, rubbing his thumb upon the layer of clothing that was finely placed upon Tom's skin. Tom didn't say anything, and in reply, the only thing that came were sobs and the sounds of high-pitched whimpers.

"There we go.." Softly said Matt.

Tom cried further and further, his lips quivering with the sheer sorrow of it all. He placed his hands upon Matt's, gripping it harshly and rubbing his thumb on it. Emotions spilled out of his mouth, and formed into deep sorrowful cries.

"I'm here, baby, it's okay to cry.." Assured Matt, raising his hand up to embrace the upper torso that belonged to Tom. Tom's hand still gripped harshly on Matt's hand, unable to let go and unwilling to release his hold.

Matt brought himself higher up, and brought Tom's body closer to his own. He gripped a nearby blanket and placed it over the two of them, making sure it covered every last bit of them so Tom wouldn't be cold. The blankets cozy warmth oozed all over the two of them, making Tom's body physically relax more from the tension the sorrow inside him manifested.

Tom raised up his leg, and Natt intertwined his own legs with Tom's. Before the two of them knew it, their legs were practically embracing eachother. It seemed their arms weren't the only thing capable of embracing the other. Their legs were both tangled, like a patch of branches on a huge tree.

Matt hummed softly, not a hum of music, but a hum of relief. Tom's whimpers were starting to die down, but they were not completely gone. For a moment, the whole world seemed to stop. The world didn't even feel like it was real anymore, it felt like the two of them were the only real things around. And the both of them were fine with that. They liked the others presence. More than anything.

...

"Matt."

"Yes?"

"I-- I know this might sound dumb, but can you stay in here for tonight?"

"Sure, of course I can! I wouldn't mind staying in here with you."

"You'll.. you'll really do that?"

"Of course.. I'll be here when you wake up."

"P.. Promise?"

"Promise."

"O.. Okay."

The two men layed there that night, embracing eachother softly. They had both exposed a part of eachother that night, a deep part of eachother they didn't mean to share. But what mattered most was that the stars were gone, and all that remained was a sky full of cozy moonlight.

#eddsworld #edd #matt #tom #read the tws #hurt/comfort #tom x matt #matt x tom #tommatt #matttom

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bcneheaded · 1 year

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So!! bathing/hygiene headcanons!! 🚿 this is a "me rambling endlessly" post, just as a warning !

I was in the shower earlier yes? as one does. and I was just thinking.... about like.... Artemis, yeah. But I was thinking about how, he probably doesn't have to shower or anything necessarily? Because he's not a living creature, and so, doesn't have to worry about like... everyday buildup of human-y dirtiness (idk how to phrase that but u kno).

But at the same time, especially if he's been really busy with shop cleaning/work, has had to fight/kill something/someone, or has been out and about on his 'business trips' or something etcetcetc-- like... he's gotta get dirty sometimes.. right? even with how careful he is not to, I dont think it would matter. He'd have to clean up sometime, somehow. And I suppose... like.... if he did, it would be infrequently, "bathing", whatever that entails for him (he again like... its just another one of those things he doesn't have to worry about doing often, as its not as if ?? he's gonna get stinky like a human would).

But anyway I was just thinking about bathing / cleaning headcanon for him ?? and I came up with like... two alternatives. 1... was that he could just sponge down, genuinely just take a bathtub full of water, remove necessary clothes, clean dirty area(s) and be done with it, never needing to fully submerge unless absolutely necessary or if its just easier, depending on the level of filth he somehow found himself in for some reason. 2... second one was a little different? but involves his tar and personal abilities directly! He has the ability to manipulate his tar, yes? as well as the ability to heat it up to incredible temperatures (demonic skills yea?). So if he really wanted, he could just.... burn it.. all off ?? if thats any easier. Though, because he's more inclined to be careful not to damage his bones (and although he can remove them, he would never remove the skull. so fact remains, he'd risk fracturing the bone with the heat I suppose, unless magically protected somehow ...Which is.... possible. and likely, for everyday reasons).

But say he did that for the bones, yes? Say maybe, he goes to the basement(dungeon.... its a dungeon) and goes into one of those sealed rooms no one is allowed access to-- he could have this charm that protects the bones from the heat, and because he's somewhere that yknow.... wont burn down (stone and all yeah?) he can just let er rip ?? remove clothes to be cleaned and incinerate any trace of dirt via molten tar >:] ! which is cooler an idea than the sponging off one and also entirely plausible (given it.... would potentially be more thorough and faster).

The sponge bath could have scents added to it just as an additional nice little thing... which is likely. I feel like he'd get badru or the whispers' opinion on scent choice fjdjffgdf if any fragrance at all, it'd be very.... very faint. maybe a little dab of cologne?? but unlikely.

As for turning his tar completely molten in the safety of the dungeon-- jfdjjds i can't imagine he'd smell... particularly good after that.. (but also maybe not too BAD once he cools down?), but he probably would smell some kinda way, even if just very faintly. he'd also?? probably be just a little warmer than he usually is, potentially noticeably so, for just a little while after. and the floor?? surrounding areas of where he did it would probably be nice and toasty

gjfgjfd catch someone asking Artemis if he has heated flooring tho after he does and he just ''.....no.''

+ also ?? a thought but like..... man could walk around without clothes and would not be embarrassed about it bc of ''nakedness'' necessarily. he'd be a little embarrassed to have been seen without clothes I think, if only because its like.... "indecent". yknow. his whole Old Victorian Gentleman vibe just OUT the WINDOW... he /has/ nothing to hide so it wouldn't MATTER if anyone saw him mid-change or post bath or something but he'd be BIG :(( about it LOL

#( the keeper // headcanons )#( ramblings )#( ooc )#long post #BUT YEAH LIKE #will smith pose .jpg THIS #its probably messy but i think i covered everything that was in my brain at the moment..... probably............ possibly.#potentially will add to it later / make another post ?? just to yell #bless anyone who makes it thru my self indulgent screaming gfgDFGD #artie out here like '' ...... you're thinking about me without clothes?'' SHUT UP.... NO.#yes.#.... BUT NO.

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a-hobit · 2 years

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Y’all I used to watch Danny Phantom over and over for years I loved that shit so much and so I thought “oh a trip through my nostalgia! Blorbo!”

Not as deep as I remember it being and I think my opinion on Bitch Hartman actually kind of sours a lot of my enjoyment sometimes (sexist and homophobic jokes my detested) but otherwise if anyone was thinking about rewatching it I recommend it! It’s pretty fun for most of the time and while I didn’t love a few episodes (*COUGH COUGH* IDENTITY CRISIS *COUGH COUGH*) flanderization is really apparent in DP (Skulker, Vlad, Jazz, Sam, Danny andTucker all kind of suck in their own special ways toward the end of the series) and the way that you can pick on the writing errors pretty easy is annoying it doesn’t detract from how good it is!

Other news when Danny is not out of character and horrendously down bad he is so cute I might die. Also Sam? Not as bad as I remembered her for being towards other women! She’s typically supportive but slightly judgmental rather than outright being a killjoy. It mostly frustrates me that the writing for the other women who aren’t main characters is so shallow that it makes Sam seem like the only sane one in a room often. Buuuut to be perfectly honest idk a woman born around 1995-2005 that didn’t have a not like the other girls phase sooo

But god damn does this show make me laugh! It’s so well done — so here’s a list of some of the jokes that made me actually laugh out loud!

(In no particular order)

“Dude. You are one jacked up crazy frootloop. That will never happen.”

“But back in our college days she was just Harry — Harry CHIN!? GET IT??!”

“Agh who cares about who you were in your college days? It’s who you grow into that counts. If you can be that crazy back then and turn into a super cool ghost hunter…maybe there’s hope for me yet.

Aww thanks son…but your curfew is still ten.

Awww man!”

“Does anyone want a cookie?

*shakes head no*

THEN PERISH!!!!!”

“The reason why Danny feels like you don’t relate to him is because you never talk to him about when you were younger!

Jazz—

When you went to college— had your first date —

Jazz—!”

“I know your little secret Danny.

YoU dO?!

The lying — the sweatiness — you have a girlfrie—!

ITS A LIE IM NOT A GHOST!!!”

“*in Walkers jail looking at past enemies*

Wow a table full of people who hate me…Just like high-school.”

“I’m perfectly happy Maddie—JACK FENTON DONT YOU DARE WIZZ ON MY RUBARB! Perfectly happy…”

“A party?? For me? ‘A decade of devoice’! You all remembered!!

Of course! And we even convinced your ex husband to come!”

“*Danny staring at Sam all lovesick*

Uhhh can you watch something other than me??

*pauses*

*pulls out a picture of Sam*

*continues staring lovesick*”

“*in a gaming lab with Tucker and Danny — Sam walks in*

What are you doing here? (To Danny) She can’t be here to play…

Oh because I’m a girl? And us girls are lacking in what? Opposable thumbs? One track minds? Stupid berets?

Hey!”

“*Danny Sam and Tucker walking though school (Danny with his shirt covering his mouth)*

Is anybody looking at me funny?!

Yeah…but that’s because you look like you’re trying to eat your way through your shirt.”

“Spooky hospital…ghosts guarding the joint…still no sign that Danny is in any real danger yet!

(Danny from inside the hospital about to be dissected)

Let me go!

Still…technically not a cry for help!

HELP!!

Well—not a cry for me!

TUCKER???!!?”

“*Danny Sam and Tucker are talking in the highschool about Danny pranking Dash*

He’s going to find out it’s you.

(Danny and Tucker) Have you seen his grades? Never gonna happen!

(Dash) Hey! This iS FENTON WIPE!

(Sam) ‘Never’ is karma’s doorbell! Ding dong it’s for you!”

“I’m Sam Manson and my happy princess talent is…(glances over at Dora who looks threatening)…

Goth haiku.

DESPAIR WITHOUT END Dora’s a ghost!

UTTER BLACKNESS — NOTHINGNESS! Dora’s a ghost!!

DORA. IS. A. GHOST!!!

(Pushed off stage)”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to take it upon myself to keep Danny safe and calm until you complete the task.

Me stay with you?! Forget it!

*manifests a little thunderstorm that electrocutes Vlad*

WILL YOU QUIT DOING THAT?!?

Look on the bright side Danny! Until we get back he’s going to have to cater to your every whim and desire…

Yeah! He wouldn’t want to make you angry…

(Vlad stares at them blankly)

(Danny smiles) This pleases me!”

“*Danny is manifesting himself in Tucker’s dream and is watching Tucker live out a fantasy where he’s a billionaire spending time with two girls who look like star*

(Tucker to janitor) That will be all Fenton.

(Dream Danny) Yes sir.

(Real Danny) Wait…I’m the janitor?!?

*later*

By the way Tucker? I don’t do windows”

“*Danny is being impersonated by Morpho and is chasing ‘Danny Fenton’ though the house as the alarms blare”

The ghost defenses! That means—!

*Fentons bust in guns blazing*

Bingo Maddie!! Putrid protoplasm straight ahead!!

And he’s after our boy!

(Morpho as DF) Ah—? Oh that’s right I’m your boy—Billy!!

Danny?!”

“*after being on a cooking show with Pamela Manson*

(Maddie to Sam) I can’t believe your mother said I had bad meal presentation— so I didn’t use a parsley sprig is that a crime?!!?”

Hope you all enjoy! I’m rewatching Gravity Falls next!

#danny phantom #danny fenton #show recommendations #bitch Hartman

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babymorte · 7 days

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What are some long hikes you've been on?

Any places you'd reccomend to people visiting out there?

Washington has a good variation, some here are flat and long, others can be pretty short but have a big elevation climb.

Definitely a good place to explore!

Lots of really cool hidden lakes too.

oh im lucky enough to be in the appalachia area so theres just tonnes random trails and forests everywhere to go hiking in! there's three within walking distance of my house that i go to (at least one) almost daily the second it starts getting warm out. they're basically my second home.

i think my favourite places to go are bushkill and dingmens falls. bushkill has so many great trails that are easy to walk for anyone (we went there for a school trip in grade 5 so its even great for kiddos). dingmens you do have to pay for but its so so so so so worth it. its a trek up a tonne of stairs to reach the overlook but it's so beautiful and totally worth it. the poconos in general have so many great trails and nature resorts. there actually used to be this giant abandoned love resort hidden away (you've probabtly seen photos on tumblr of it honestly cuz i have) in the mountains but they were making plans to tear it down in order to make room for office buildings or some bullshit like that which is beyond frustrating because i've wanted to go there for so so so long to explore. it gives such fallout vibes.

ricketts glenn is also a really beautiful trail that has a beautiful waterfall. its on a giant loop (literally called ricketts glen falls trail loop) which is super convenient. a lot of people go there for wedding photos though so thats kind of a bummer when you dont wanna be in the way.

there's also this place called hawk mountain which is a giant hawk conservation park that has a bunch of different trails to walk and you can also go on guided tours to learn about the different pa native flora and fauna. i know a lot of people go bird watching there for obvious reasons as well so theres random trails outside of the actual park that has so many great lookout points. you cant bring pets there though for obvious reasons since its a conservation park which sucks but its totally understandable.

you can also walk the entirety of the schukyll river and when you go to philly you can see people riding bikes off the highway which is really cool.

ridley creek state park is another really good one that has this really cool puritan style house by the main parking lot. its a bit of a workout though cuz it gets super rocky (dont ask me how many times ive busted my bum) but if you go on off the trail hikes often and are used to that sort of thing its really not that bad just dont go after it rains or you're gonna hate yourself.

im trying to think of other ones that i've been to...but im kinda drawing a blank....there's honestly so many. its pretty much the only good thing about living in pa.

ive heard nothing but great things about the trails and lakes in washington honestly. that's kind of why that's my ideal place to move to...it's enough like pa in that sense where i dont think i would be too homesick. plus i have a friend who goes to canada a lot and one who lives there and has told me that they have a tonne of great places to hike and really pretty lakes so i definitely plan to get a passport and travel there a tonne so long as i can bring chonks with. i've also heard oregon has beautiful trails and lakes as well!

im hoping next spring/summer i'll be able to make it out there for a week or so to get a lay of the land, check some places out and get a feel of it all and i'll definitely be checking out a trail or two!

#im slowly starting to learn how freaking expensive it is out there #like pa is expensive #but like i saw a little shack type house for half a mill an i'm just like WHY #its the size of the freaking evil dead cabin and didnt even have a backyard

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mayerweinreich43 · 23 days

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terinour · 10 months

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The end / La fin

The end

“I have to warn you,” said the nurse. “Your grandfather is going senile. You have to be patient with him, even if he tells you things that may seem strange to you.” “What about his exams?” “During his coma we discovered generalized cancer ... I'm sorry”

She led him to her room and nodded “Stay strong”

He watched the nurse walk away and entered. His grandfather was preparing his luggage. “But what are you doing?” asked the young man. The old man sighed “You don't say hello anymore?” “Excuse me... Hello… Do you really think they'll let you out?” “Of course, since you're going to help me.” “No, no, no don't even think about it!” “I did a lot more than think about it Kevin! By the way, do you know why your parents gave you a first name straight out of a stupid sitcom? You never wanted to sue against them?”

Kevin looked at his feet.

“Well I bet they don't know why they gave you that name either!” He added. “We are both different. We never knew what we were doing there. I can see how you've been behaving since you were a young boy. We always look lost. We don’t know what we want to do because society doesn’t offer us anything suitable for us, right? The truth is we are not really lost and failed, we do not see things like the others, that is all. So we have to act differently.”

His grandfather had always been eccentric. His words had hit the mark but Kevin still had too much inner resistance. “But there is only one here that you can be healed ...” “You would really make a poor comedian. You are not even convinced yourself by what you say. I know I have a cancer. And what will happen? I'll tell you: treatments that will turn me into a vegetable and in the end I will end up in palliative care with morphine. Is that how you see my end too?” “Nonsense!” “Help me get out of here, I don't want to die here, I want to see the sun set behind the mountains and over the ocean one last time. Is that too much to ask? These are my last wishes, I'll give you a waiver if I have to!” “I dont know” “How that you do not know? Well it's time for you to find out. I have a couple more things to do before the end. I'm not asking you much in the end, just to come with me. I inquired, it's just missing a signature. Your parents don't want to, they haven't even come to see me. Nobody cares. Everyone except you Kevin.”

Kevin looked out the window and sighed “Okay...” “Good boy!”

They walked down the hall. Kevin signed the waiver and picked up a bag of medicine and painkillers. Inside there was also a leaflet indicating the location of the area's hospitals, emergency services, morgues and funeral directors. His grandfather was waiting for him outside, his gaze raised to the sky, eyes closed. The wind caressed her face. Kevin didn't dare disturb him and went to get the car. He put the bag in the back and came up to him. It’s true that his grandfather had looked weird for some time. Perhaps because he sense death near. Kevin was lost in his thoughts and jumped when his grandfather slammed the door.

“Here we go!” “Which way ?” “Westward Ho!” “And where will we sleep?” “In fact, I must tell you my project. I bought a van to make the trip to California. I also plan to visit a few national parks on the way.”

He pointed to the horizon. “It’s waiting for me a little further in a garage. I've been preparing for a long time, since the death of your grandmother to be honest. Little by little, I set up this van myself. There are only the essentials on board plus a few memories, records and books ... And then there was my car crash and during the coma they discovered a cancer. That’s what made me decide to sell the house and get rid of the useless. This van will accompany me until the end from now on.” “You mean ... until ...” “Death, yes. Does the word scare you? Often people are afraid even of the word, as if it brings bad luck. Isn't that weird? For me this is a sign that our society is sick. In fact, it is society that makes us sick. But don't worry about me. I'm sure now that there isn't really any death, at least not in the way you mean it.” “What do you mean?” “When I came out of the coma I felt like I came back to life. However, I also lived during my coma and I continued to exist despite everything. The only thing that had disappeared during my coma was my awakened consciousness. But my deep conscience, I don't know what to call it, was still there. It's like a light bulb that you turn on or off. Whatever its state, the bulb is still there, unchanging, only the rest is changing. This is what makes me weird to people I'm trying to explain this to. Who’s right ? who's wrong ? I don't care and I'm not trying to convince anyone. I'm just asking for my freedom and I'm not hurting anyone.” “Alright ... I'll help you as long as it takes” “Thank you Kevin, I knew I could trust you”

Then they drove for many kilometers without speaking to each other. Kevin watched the scenery go by, like his certainties. The day was drawing to a close when they arrived at the garage. There was an old school bus repainted in blue parked. “There it is, park next and wait for me, I'll get the keys at the office.”

He returned with a young Indian man. “Joe was looking for a taxi to get to a reserve. As it is our direction, I offered to drop it off in passing. If we drive all night taking turns, we'll be there tomorrow morning.”

At the first light of dawn the bus stopped. Kevin saw his grandfather leaning over the steering wheel. “Is there something wrong” Kévin said. “It's just a crisis. Pass me the painkiller bag.”

Kévin turned pale. “Damn, I left it in the car” “Give me some whiskey instead, that'll do.”

The young Indian watched Kevin empty the cupboards one after the other while the old man was curled up on the floor. He walked over to him and took out a small vial. “Take this. They are plants of the desert, useful for communicating with the Great Spirit but they also relieve pain.”

Kevin returned with an amber bottle, incredulous. “Help me get him outside, you have to be in the open air. We must not lock up spirits” Joe said

Outside there was a group of stacked rocks. The slant of the sunrise made it look like a fantastic creature. Also, the rocks at the base looked like a door. “Strange, really strange to have precisely stopped here. It's a sign” The young Indian man said. “Why?” “It is a sacred place. This door leads to an ancient lake… How is your grandfather?” “He is…”

Kevin looked to the right and to the left but he saw no one. Suddenly the beginning of The End resonated. Kevin then saw his grandfather. The old man was walking into the desert. “You okay?” Kevin shouted.

This is the end

Beautiful friend

Joe took a sip from the vial and handed it to Kevin. “Grandpa John has already started the journey” He said.

Kevin hesitated and drank in his turn. After a while the shapes became unstable. The rocks looked like mirages, rippling in the orange-red light. Their heads were on fire. Their conscience …

So limitless and free

Slowly roamed the world, their fears, their follies ...

In a… desperate land

Walk, move forward, go through the door …

To the lake, the ancient lake

From there, the road looked like a snake ...

The snake is long, seven miles

A voice said ...

Get here, and we’ll do the rest

Everything was mixed, the blue bus seemed to float ...

Driver, where’re you takin’us

To a place located at the edge of our memory, to confront ancient and obscure desires and uproot even the slightest root of the ego ...

kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill,

And then...

This is the end

This is liberation ...

The end of nights we tried to die

Geometric figures went by. It was as if they were sucked into a tunnel, once in a while coming across a familiar face, an animal. The light became blinding. The sun was already high when they came to their senses. It was a new day, a renewal, a rebirth. Kevin opened his eyes. He was on top of the rock. He looked around for his grandfather and saw him on the roof of the blue bus. The young Indian was in the back. He motioned to him through the window. The men gathered at the entrance of the bus. They were silent. It was the young Indian who broke the silence. “My reserve is there.” “Did you see him in a vision?” “No on google maps”.

They laughed for a long time, as if to delay the moment to say goodbye.

“Where are you going now?” Joe said. “We will pass through the Great Smoky Mountains and then continue west to California and the ocean” “We might end up on the road.” “Maybe ... have a good trip!”

The young Indian man went off with his backpack. He thought of the Great Spirit. If He wanted to, their roads would cross again.

John and Kevin watched him go. It was then that the old man saw the half-empty vial lying on the dashboard. John took it and stowed it discreetly in the glove compartment. “Hope we see him again. I don't know what was in his mixture but I don't remember ever having experienced something like this.” John said as he starts up. “Did you see the same as me?” “With the tunnel at the end and everything, yeah. It was really crazy stuff.” “But how come we had a similar experience?” “I think we went through a trance” “How can you be so sure?”

“When I found out that I had cancer I did some research and found that a study was underway to assess the therapeutic effects of trance. Neuropsychologists have revealed that a trance is a special state of the brain and that it takes different stages to get there. These steps are universal because they are an integral part of the human nervous system. Only the meanings attributed to everything we see during trance are conditioned by our culture.” John said

“And in this study they make people take drugs?”

“Not at all. They use sound loops based on the sounds of drums and chanting chants. Everyone has access to these altered states of consciousness. That night I really felt a powerful connection with you and Joe, with nature, with the world.”

“I don't know what to think about it yet. It’s so confusing.”

“It's normal Kevin. It was only when I knew I was going to die that I started to see things differently and all of my certainties collapsed. I felt like I was moving around a setting, nothing looked real. I then focused on the one thing that seemed fixed to me when everything around everything was impermanence. All my life I have been distracted, drawn to the lights. I was like a butterfly. Now I let things come to me. It might just be sheer foolishness to believe that something will remain after I die, whatever. It makes me feel good.”

“I understand grandpa.” “But let's talk about you. Do you have any projects ?”

“I started writing a story some time ago. It is on my usb key. I had given up a bit but these days I got new ideas.”

“You can sit back there and write during the trip”

“Yes, but I hadn't planned on leaving like this. I didn't take my laptop when I came to see you. So I only have a notebook.”

“I will fix it.”

Kevin settled in and took over his project from the start. John bought back-up batteries, a laptop, a printer, additional solar panels… Kevin had set up a full office and had already done a good job when the blue bus arrived at Gatlinburg and got onto the US 441 in the direction of from Cherokee. “Here we are on the Newfound Gap Road Kévin. Lift your head from your screen and look at this landscape!”John said victoriously.

Kevin was stuck in a passage. He put on the music of the Indian flute and drums, drowning his gaze on the landscape that stretched out before him as far as the eye could see.

John parked at Morton Overlook. “Take your things, we'll stretch our legs before night falls!”

Kevin had his head elsewhere and looked for his papers. He couldn't remember where he had put his wallet. He looked everywhere and opened the glove box. This is where he saw the vial. He took it and closed the box. John suddenly arrived. “What's the matter ? You make a face!”

“I don't feel very well, maybe because of the turns in the mountains.”

“Get on the roof and get some fresh air. I take a little tour.”

John walked away with his trekking poles, grumbling about the fragile health of the young people today.

Kevin was facing the mountains, his helmet on his ears. There was no one on the horizon. He opened the vial. There wasn't much left in it. Nearby, a red-shouldered hawk screamed. They looked at each other. The rhythm of the drums quickened. He drank the rest of the vial. The bird flew away and Kevin followed it with his eyes.

Soon after his sight blurred and the mountains, benevolent giants usually still, began to dance. An emotion gripped him. He was crying. He then saw a man from behind, an Indian, playing a drum while looking at the sky. He turned and recognized Joe calling him. He then saw himself on the roof of the blue bus. He no longer recognized his hands. He saw hooves. He was a majestic stag now. Joe had changed into a hawk and was flying above him screaming.

“What the hell are you doing! I've been trying to wake you up for twenty minutes!” John said. “What happened?” “We found you in the woods. There was a hawk near you. We found you thanks to him.”

Kevin saw a woman next to his grandfather

“Who are you?” “Emma. I was lost and your grandfather accompanied me here.”

“Okay, let's get back to the bus. We're going to bring Emma back to where she parked her van. And then we'll take a little pick-me-up. It tires to save people.”

They didn't talk about what happened again. John and Emma seemed to get along very well. So much so that they had decided that Emma would follow them on the adventure. So Emma’s van remained in the rearview mirror of the blue bus. Kevin was a bit out of the way and that suited him. He needed to isolate himself in order to work. He gradually lost all sense of time, sometimes eating alone. John did not fall ill again.

Months passed and Kevin wrote the end of his novel as they passed through Canyonlands National Park, Utah. Kevin felt intense relief. He stayed the course and threw himself headlong into the search for a publisher, posting manuscripts regularly.

Kevin had to wait several more months, but when John stopped the blue bus at Muir Beach Overlook in San Francisco, he had finally found a publishing house.

“This is the perfect place to see the sunset” announced John.

“Come on I'll join you” Emma threw them out the window. She was trying to park her van.

A winding footpath overlooked the ocean. The wind lashed their faces. They stopped at a lookout to admire the view, waiting for him.

“Is it serious with Emma?” Kévin asked

John smiles:

- The word “serious” doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Almost a year ago the doctors told me that I had only a few months to live. In other words you have in front of you a living dead! I told Emma all this. She doesn't care and tells me you have to live from day to day.

Kevin nodded.

- It is better that I leave you both now. You remember that you wanted to see the mountains and the ocean. Well there we are.

- You're right, there we are. You helped me make this trip, you fulfilled your part of the deal. I free you Kévin. The old man hugged his grandson. “Thank you”

“Now I understand what you were saying.” Kévin said.

“About what ?” “Because there is no end ... There always comes the end of a journey, a novel, a season or a year, whatever. Even old Kevin is over! And yet I have never felt so alive, free and close to myself.”

“What are you going to do ?” “I found a publisher. I have an appointment with him in a few days. Then I'll try to find Joe.”

“The young Indian?” “When I took what was left of the vial to the Great Smoky Mountains I saw him in a vision. It may sound crazy, but it is true.”

“Welcome to the madmen then!”

They laughed together. “What are you going to do now?” Kevin continued.

“I'll go back the other way, with Emma.”

He handed her the keys to his blue bus. “Take them, you will need them to return to Joe's reserve” “But… and you?”

“I'm moving in Emma's van, don't worry about me.”

“Thank you, Grandpa. Will we meet on the road?”

“I'm sure son, I'm sure.”

Teri Nour

Note: I had translated my own text entitled "La fin" below in french. I apologize for this appoximative translation.

La fin

– Je dois vous prévenir, dit l’infirmière, votre grand-père est en train de devenir sénile. Il faut être patient avec lui, même s’il vous raconte des choses qui peuvent vous paraître étranges.

– Et pour ses examens ?

– Pendant son coma nous avons découvert un cancer généralisé… Je suis désolé

Elle le conduisit jusqu’à sa chambre et hocha la tête

– Courage

Il regarda l’infirmière s’éloigner et entra. Son grand-père préparait sa valise

– Mais qu’est-ce que tu fais ?

Il soupira

– Tu ne dis plus bonjour ?

– Excuses moi, bonjour… Tu penses vraiment qu’ils te laisseront sortir ?

– Bien entendu, puisque tu vas m’aider.

– Non, non, non n’y penses même pas !

– J’ai fait bien plus qu’y penser Kévin ! D’ailleurs est-ce que tu sais pourquoi tes parents t’ont affublé d’un prénom tout droit sorti d’un sitcom débile ? Tu n’as jamais eu envie de porter plainte contre eux ?

Kévin regarda ses pieds

– Eh bien je parie qu’eux non plus ne savent pas pourquoi ils t’ont affublé de ce prénom ! Ajouta-t-il. Nous sommes différents. Nous n’avons jamais su ce que nous faisions là. Je vois bien comment tu te comportes depuis que tu es tout petit. Nous avons toujours l’air toujours perdu. Nous ne savons pas ce que nous voulons faire parce que la société ne nous propose rien qui nous convienne, j’ai pas raison ? En vérité nous ne sommes pas vraiment des paumés et des ratés, nous ne voyons pas les choses comme les autres, c’est tout. Nous devons donc agir différemment.

Son grand-père avait toujours été quelqu’un d’extravaguant. Ses paroles avait fait mouche mais Kévin avait encore trop de résistances intérieures.

– Mais enfin il n’y a qu’ici qu’on peut te soigner…

– Tu ferais vraiment un mauvais comédien. Tu n’es pas même pas convaincu toi-même par ce que tu dis. Je sais bien que j’ai un cancer. Et que va-t-il se passer ? Je vais te le dire : des traitements qui vont me transformer en légume et au final je finirais en soin palliatifs sous morphine. C’est comme ça que tu vois ma fin toi aussi ?

– Ne dis pas de bêtises !

– Aide-moi à sortir d’ici, je ne veux pas crever là, je veux voir une dernière fois le soleil se coucher derrière les montagnes et sur l’océan. C’est trop demander ? Ce sont mes dernières volontés, je te signerai une décharge s’il le faut !

– Je ne sais pas

– Comment cela tu ne sais pas ? Eh bien il est temps pour toi de savoir. J’ai encore deux ou trois trucs à faire avant la fin. Je te demande pas grand chose au final, juste de m’accompagner. Je me suis renseigné, il manque juste une signature. Tes parents ne veulent pas, il ne sont même pas venus me voir. Tout le monde s’en fout. Tout le monde sauf toi Kévin.

Kévin regarda par la fenêtre et soupira :

– D’accord…

– Tu es un bon garçon

Il avançèrent le long du couloir. Kévin signa la décharge et pris un sac de médicaments et d’anti-douleurs. A l’intérieur il y avait également un prospectus qui indiquait l’emplacement des, hopitaux, services d’urgences, morgues et pompes funèbres du secteur. Son grand-père l’attendait dehors, le regard levé vers le ciel, yeux fermés. Le vent lui caressait le visage. Kévin n’osa pas le déranger et alla chercher la voiture. Il posa le sac à l’arrière et vint à sa hauteur. C’est vrai que son grand-père avait l’air bizarre depuis quelques temps. Peut-être était-ce ainsi lorsque l’on sentait la mort toute proche. Kévin se perdit dans ses pensées et sursauta lorsque son grand-père claqua la portière.

– On y va ?

– Quelle direction ?

– Vers l’ouest évidemment !

– Et où est-ce qu’on dormira?

– En fait, il faut que je te précise mon projet. J’ai acheté un van pour faire le voyage jusqu’à la Californie. Je compte aussi visiter quelques parcs nationaux sur le chemin.

Il pointa du doigt l’horizon :

– Il m’attends un peu plus loin dans un garage. Cela fait longtemps que je me prépare, depuis le décès de ta grand-mère à vrai dire. J’ai aménagé ce van moi-même, petit à petit. Il n’y a à bord que l’essentiel plus quelques souvenirs, des disques et des livres… Et puis il y a eut cet accident de voiture et le coma durant lequel ils ont découvert un cancer. C’est ce qui m’a définitivement décidé à vendre la maison et à me débarrasser du superflu. Ce van m’accompagnera jusqu’au bout désormais.

– Tu veux dire… jusqu’à la...

– Mort. Le mot te fait peur ? Souvent les gens ont peur même du mot, comme s’il portait malheur. C’est étrange tu ne trouves pas ? Pour moi c’est le signe que notre société est malade. En fait c’est la société qui nous rend malade. Mais ne t’inquiètes pas pour moi. Je suis certain maintenant qu’il n’y a pas vraiment de mort, du moins, pas au sens où on l’entend.

– Comment ça ?

– En sortant du coma j’ai eu l’impression de retourner à la vie. Pourtant je vivais aussi pendant mon coma et je continuais malgré tout à exister. La seule chose qui avait disparue pendant mon coma c’était ma conscience en éveil. Mais ma conscience profonde, je ne sais pas comment l’appeler, était toujours là. C’est comme une ampoule que l’on allume ou que l’on éteint. Quelque soit son état l’ampoule est toujours là, immuable, seul le reste est changeant. Voilà ce qui me rend bizarre aux yeux des gens à qui j’essaie d’expliquer ça. Qui a raison ? qui a tort ? Je m’en fiche et je ne cherche à convaincre personne. Je demande juste ma liberté et je ne fais de mal à personne.

– D’accord… Je t’aiderai le temps qu’il faudra

– Merci Kévin, je savais que je pouvais compter sur toi

Ils roulèrent ensuite sur de nombreux kilomètres sans se parler. Le paysage défilait, tout comme les certitudes de Kévin. La journée arrivait à son terme lorsqu’ils arrivèrent au garage. Il y avait un ancien bus scolaire repeint en bleu stationné sur le parking.

– C’est lui, gare toi à côté et attends moi, je vais chercher les clefs.

Il revint accompagné d’un jeune indien.

– Joe cherchait un taxi pour rejoindre une réserve. Comme c’est notre direction je lui ai proposé de le déposer en passant. Si on roule toute la nuit en se relayant on y sera demain matin.

Aux premières lueurs de l’aube le bus stoppa net. Kévin vit son grand-père penché sur le volant.

– Qu’est-ce qui se passe ? Ça ne va pas ?

– C’est juste une crise. Passes moi le sac d’anti-douleurs.

Kévin blémit

– Merde, je l’ai oublié dans la voiture

– Donnes moi du whisky à la place, ça fera l’affaire.

Le jeune indien regardait Kévin vider les placards les uns après les autres tandis que vieil homme était recroquevillé au sol. Il s’approcha de lui et sortit une petite fiole :

– Ce sont des plantes du désert, utiles pour communiquer avec le Grand Esprit mais elles soulagent aussi la douleur.

Kévin revint avec une bouteille ambrée, incrédule.

– Aide moi à le sortir dehors, il faut être à l’air libre. On ne doit pas enfermer les esprits

Dehors il y avait un ensemble de rochers empilés. La lumière, tombant à l’oblique, lui donnait l’apparence d’une créature fantastique. En outre, les rochers disjoints à la base ressemblaient à une porte. Le jeune indien s’immobilisa devant.

– Etrange, vraiment étrange de s’être précisément arrêté ici. C’est un signe

– Pourquoi ?

– C’est un lieu sacré. Cette porte mène à un ancien lac… Comment va ton grand-père ?

– Il est…

Kévin regarda à droite et à gauche mais il n’y avait plus personne. Seules résonnaient les premières notes de The End, des Doors. Le vieil homme s’avançait dans le désert. Kévin cria :

– ça va grand-père ?

This is the end

Beautiful friend

Le jeune indien reprit sa fiole, but une gorgée à sont tour et l’a tendit à Kévin :

– Grand-père John a déjà commencé le voyage

Kévin hésita et but à son tour. Après un moment les formes devinrent instables. Les rochers avaient l’air de mirages, ondulant dans la lumière rouge-orangée. Leurs têtes s’enflammaient. Leurs consciences...

So limitless and free

Lentement, parcouraient le monde, leurs peurs, leurs folies...

In a… desperate land

Marcher, avancer, franchir la porte...

To the lake, the ancient lake

De là haut, la route ressemblait à un serpent...

The snake is long, seven miles

Une voix disait…

Get here, and we’ll do the rest

Tout se mélangeait, le bus bleu semblait flotter…

Driver, where’re you takin’us

Vers un lieu situé aux confins de notre mémoire, pour affronter d’anciens et obscurs désirs et déraciner jusqu’à la moindre racine de l’ego…

kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill,

Et alors...

This is the end

C’est la libération…

The end of nights we tried to die

Des figures géométriques défilèrent devant leurs yeux. C’était comme s’ils étaient aspirés dans un tunnel, croisant de temps à autre un visage familier, un animal. La lumière devint aveuglante. Le soleil était déjà haut lorsqu’ils reprirent leurs esprits. C’était un nouveau jour, un renouveau, une renaissance. Kévin ouvrit les yeux. Il était au sommet du rocher. Il chercha son grand-père des yeux et le vit sur le toit du bus bleu. Le jeune indien était à l’arrière. Il lui fit un signe par la fenêtre. Les hommes se retrouvèrent à l’entrée du bus, silencieux. C’est le jeune indien qui rompit le silence :

– Ma réserve se trouve par là

– Tu l’as vue en vision ?

– Non sur google maps

Ils rirent longtemps, comme pour retarder le moment de se dire au revoir.

– Où allez-vous maintenant ?

– Nous allons passer par les Great Smoky Mountains et puis continuer vers l’ouest jusqu’à la Californie et l’océan

– On se retrouvera peut-être sur la route.

– Peut-être... bon voyage !

– Bon voyage ! Dit à son tour Kévin

Le jeune indien s’éloigna avec son sac à dos. Il pensa au Grand Esprit. S’Il le voulait leurs routes se croiseraient à nouveau.

John et Kévin le regardèrent s’en aller. C’est alors que le vieil homme vit la fiole pas tout à fait vide qui traînait sur le tableau de bord. John la prit et la rangea discrètement dans la boîte à gants. Il dit en démarrant :

– J’espère qu’on le reverra. Je ne sais pas ce qu’il y avait dans sa mixture mais je ne me souviens pas avoir déjà vécu un truc pareil.

– Est-ce que tu as vu la même chose que moi ?

– Avec le tunnel à la fin et tout le reste, ouais. C’était vraiment un truc de dingue.

– Mais comment se fait-il que nous ayons eu une expérience similaire ?

– Je crois qu’on a vécu une transe

– Comment tu peux en être aussi sûr ?

– Quand j’ai appris que j’avais un cancer j’ai fait des recherches et j’ai découvert qu’une étude est en cours pour évaluer les effets thérapeuthiques de la transe. Les neuropsychologues ont révélé qu’une transe est un état particulier du cerveau et qu’il faut passer par différents stades pour y arriver. Ces étapes sont universelles car elles font partie intégrante du système nerveux humain. Seules les significations attribuées à tout ce que nous voyons durant la transe sont conditionnées par notre culture.

– Et dans cette étude ils font prendre des substances aux gens ?

– Pas du tout. Ils utilisent des des boucles sonores basées sur des sons de tambours et de chants psalmodiés. Tout le monde a accès à ces états de conscience modifiés. Cette nuit j’ai vraiment ressenti une puissante connexion avec toi et Joe, avec la nature, le monde.

– Je ne sais pas encore quoi en penser. C’est tellement déroutant.

– C’est normal Kévin. C’est seulement quand j’ai su que j’allais mourir j’ai commencé à voir les choses différemment et que toutes mes certitudes se sont effondrées. J’avais l’impression de me déplacer dans un décor, rien ne semblait réel. Je me suis alors concentré sur la seule chose qui me paraissait fixe alors que tout autour tout n’était qu’impermanence. Toute ma vie j’ai été distrait, attiré par les lumières. J’étais comme un papillon. Maintenant je laisse les choses venir à moi. Ce n’est sans doute que pure folie de croire que quelque chose restera après ma mort, peu importe. Cela me fait du bien.

– Je comprends grand-père.

– Mais parlons un peu de toi. tu as des projets ?

– J'ai commencé à écrire une histoire il y a quelques temps. Elle est sur ma clef usb. J'avais un peu abandonné mais ces jours-ci j'ai eu nouvelles idées.

– Tu peux t’installer là-derrière et écrire pendant le voyage

– Oui mais je n'avais pas prévu de partir comme ça. Je n'ai pas pris mon ordinateur portable en venant te voir. Du coup je n'ai qu’un carnet.

– Je vais arranger ça.

Kévin s’installa et reprit son projet depuis le début. John acheta des batteries de secours, un ordinateur portable, un imprimante, des panneaux solaires supplémentaires… Kévin s’était aménagé un bureau complet et avait déjà bien travaillé lorsque le bus bleu arriva à Gatlinburg et s’engagea sur l’US 441 en direction de Cherokee. John lança sur un air victorieux :

– Voilà, nous sommes sur la Newfound Gap Road Kévin. Lève la tête de ton écran et regardes moi ce paysage ! Kévin était bloqué sur un passage. Il mis une musique de flûte et de tambours indiens, noyant son regard dans le paysage qui s’étendait devant lui à perte de vue.

John se gara à Morton Overlook :

– Prends tes affaires on va se dégourdir les jambes avant que la nuit tombe !

Kévin avait la tête ailleurs et chercha ses papiers. Il ne se rappelait plus où il avait mis son portefeuille. Il chercha partout et ouvrit la boîte à gants. C’est là qu’il vit la fiole. Il l’a prit et referma la boîte. John arriva soudainement et fit sursauter Kévin :

– Qu’est-ce qu’il y a ? Tu en fais une tête ?

– Je ne me sens pas très bien, peut-être à cause des virages

– Monte sur le toit et prends l’air. Je fais un petit tour.

John s’éloigna avec ses bâtons de marche en maugréant sur la santé fragiles des jeunes d’auhourd’hui.

Kévin s’installa face aux montagnes, son casque sur les oreilles. Il n’y avait personne à l’horizon. Il ouvrit la fiole. Il ne restait pas grand chose dedans. Un faucon à épaulettes rouges à proximité poussa un cri. Ils se regardèrent. Le rythme des tambours s’accéléra. Il but le restant de la fiole. L’oiseau s’envola et Kévin le suivit des yeux. Peu après, sa vue se brouilla et les montagnes, géants bienveillants et d’ordinaires immobiles, se mirent à danser. Une émotion l’étreignit. Il pleurait. Il vit ensuite un homme de dos, un indien, jouant du tambour en regardant le ciel. Il se tourna et reconnut Joe qui l’appelait. Il se vit alors sur le toit du bus bleu. Il ne reconnaissait plus ses mains. Il voyait des sabots. Il était un cerf majestueux maintenant. Joe s’était changé en faucon et volait au-dessus de lui en criant.

– Bon sang mais qu’est-ce que t’as foutu ! Ça fait vingt minutes que j’essaie de te réveiller !

– Qu’est ce qui s’est passé ?

– On t’a retrouvé dans les bois. Il y avait un faucon près de toi. On t’a retrouvé grâce à lui

Kévin vit une femme aux côté de son grand-père

– Qui êtes-vous ?

– Emma. J’étais perdue et votre grand-père m’a accompagné jusqu’ici

– Bon, retournons au bus. On va ramener Emma là où elle a garé son van. Et après on prendra un petit remontant. Ça fatigue de sauver des gens.

Ils ne reparlèrent pas de ce qui s’était passé. John et Emma semblait très bien s’entendre. A tel point qu’ils avaient décidé qu’Emma les suivraient dans l’aventure. Le van d’Emma restait donc dans le rétroviseur du bus bleu. Kévin était un peu à l’écart et cela lui convenait. Il avait besoin de s’isoler pour travailler. Il perdit peu à peu toute notion de temps, mangeant parfois seul. John ne fit pas d’autre crise.

Les mois passèrent et Kévin écrivit le mot fin à son roman au moment où ils traversaient le Canyonlands National Park, dans l’Utah. Kévin ressentit un soulagement intense. Il resta sur sa lancée et se jeta à corps perdu dans la recherche d’un éditeur, postant des manuscrits régulièrement.

Kévin du attendre encore plusieurs mois mais quand John stoppa le bus bleu à Muir Beach Overlook, à San Francisco, il avait enfin trouvé une maison d’édition.

– C’est l’endroit idéal pour voir le coucher du soleil annonça John

Emma, qui cherchait une place pour son van, leur lança par la fenêtre :

– Avancez je vous rejoints

Un sentier piéton sinueux surplombait l’océan. Le vent leur fouettait le visage. Ils s’arrêtèrent à un belvédère pour admirer la vue, en l’attendant. Kévin demanda :

– C’est sérieux avec Emma ?

John sourit :

– Le mot “sérieux” ne veut plus rien dire pour moi. Il y a presque un an les médecins m’ont annoncé que je n’avais plus que quelques mois à vivre. Autrement dit tu as devant toi un mort vivant ! J’ai dit tout ça à Emma. Elle s’en fiche et me dit qu’il faut vivre au jour le jour.

Kévin hocha la tête.

– Il est préférable que je vous laisse tous les deux maintenant. Tu te souviens ce que m’as dit, que tu voulais voir les montagnes et l’océan. Eh bien nous y sommes.

– Tu as raison, nous y sommes. Tu m’as aidé à faire ce voyage, tu as rempli ta part du contrat. Je te libère Kévin. Tu es libre.

Le vieil homme serra son petit-fils dans ses bras:

– Merci

– Maintenant je comprends ce que tu disais.

– A propos de quoi ?

– Du fait qu’il n’y a pas de fin… Arrive toujours la fin d’un voyage, d’un roman, d’une saison ou d’une année, peu importe. Même l’ancien Kévin c’est terminé ! Et pourtant je ne me suis jamais senti aussi vivant, libre et proche de moi-même.

– Qu’est-ce que tu vas faire ?

– J’ai trouvé un éditeur. J’ai rendez-vous avec lui dans quelques jours. Ensuite j’essaierai de retrouver Joe.

– Le jeune indien ?

– Quand j’ai pris ce qui restait de la fiole aux Great Smoky Mountains je l’ai vu en vision. Cela peut paraître fou mais c’est pourtant vrai.

– Bienvenue chez les fous alors !

Ils rirent ensemble et Kévin reprit :

– Et toi qu’est-ce que tu vas faire ?

– Je vais repartir dans l’autre sens, avec Emma.

Il lui tendit les clefs de son bus bleu :

– Prends-les, tu en auras besoin pour retrouner à la réserve de Joe

– Mais… et toi ?

– Je démenage dans le van d’Emma, ne t’en fais pas pour moi

– Merci Grand-père. On se retrouvera sur la route ?

– J’en suis sûr fils, j’en suis sûr

#short stories #writing #écriture

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