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atlafan · 3 years

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Burning Love - Part Three

a/n: the third and final part of this little series is here! I hope you enjoy! Feedback and reblogs are helpful! Support me here if you’re able! (not proofread)

Warnings: cocky!Harry flirting, a tiny bit of angst, fluff, and smut!

Words: 8K

Pairing: Harry x OC (kindergarten teacher Danielle Robinson)

Masterpost

Having a firefighter as a boyfriend was anything but boring. Sometimes Harry was called away in the middle of the night for backup, sometimes he had to straight up sleep at the fire house if someone was on vacation, and sometimes he was cooking up a storm so the guys coming back from a fire had plenty to eat. Danielle would sometimes help cook as well. The guys really liked her turkey chili.

Danielle’s classroom knew who her boyfriend was too, and they loved it when Harry would come by for a visit. He’d bring them little coloring books, or sometimes he’d get Doodle to come for an even better surprise visit.

When they were together three months, Harry made sure no one was in the fire house so she could come to his office, and he gave her a little strip tease. She had practically been begging him to play the part of the sexy fire fighter and he was finally doing it for her. The only condition was that he got to bend her over his desk and fuck her. She even let him hit it raw, it was the greatest mutual gift in the world. Also hearing her moan out, “You’re hitting it so good, don’t stop, Harry!” over and over was pretty nice too.

Yup, things had been going pretty well for the new couple. Even though they were still in the puppy-love phase, it wasn’t all sex all the time. Harry would sometimes come over and help her late into the night as she was crafting activities for her class the next day, or he’d go to the art supply store with her because Danielle never made a list and she would often forget at least one thing she needed for class. Harry always remembered what she’d forget. Danielle was also a big help with the fire department’s fundraising efforts. She made the best hash browns anyone had ever had at the monthly pancake breakfasts. The deputy fire chief even got them a matching set of aprons. Things were going so well that she even started to let him call her Dani.

One Sunday afternoon they were walking through the grocery store together. Harry liked pushing the cart for Danielle as she mumbled to herself about what she needed for the week. She liked that he joined her because he could pick out the snacks he wanted to leave at her place, and vice versa. They were walking down the coffee aisle, Harry liked Hazelnut and Danielle liked French Vanilla.

“Dani?”

Danielle looks over in the direction of the deep voice that said her name. Her eyes widen when she realizes it’s her ex, Oliver.

“O-Oliver?”

“Oh my god, it’s so good to see you!” He exclaims, throwing his arms around her. She doesn’t reciprocate. “It’s been what, three years?”

“Something like that.” She swallows, and hooks her arm around Harry’s waist. “This is my boyfriend, Harry.”

“Hi.” Oliver shakes Harry’s hand. “You shop here a lot?”

“Yeah…this is the grocery store closest to my apartment, why?”

“This is my first time as this specific store. My fiancé lives in the area, and we’re choosing to buy a house here so her son won’t have to switch elementary schools.”

“Her…her son?” Danielle wanted to smack him.

“Yeah, guess he’s like my son now too.”

“Olly? Did you find the decaf tea?” A woman long blond hair, and a slightly swollen belly comes rolling her cart down the aisle with a little boy sitting in it. “Oh…Danielle…hi.”

“Hi, Rory.”

“Miss Robinson!” The boy exclaims.

“Hello, Joey.” She tries to say with a smile. Danielle wasn’t sure how she could have been so stupid. Joey took the bus to and from school, and she had only ever spoken with his father. She also didn’t make a second glance at his mother’s name on his contact list since it was under Lorelei.

“Joey raves about you all the time.” Rory says, trying to cut some of the tension.

“Mumma, it’s Chief Harry!”

“Aw, nice of you to remember me, buddy.” Harry says. “Um, we’ve got frozen stuff in the cart, so we should probably get going, right, darling?” He says, looking at Danielle, and she feels thankful for him finding a way out of all this.

“He’s right, we should really get going.”

“Guess we’ll be seeing more of each other, huh, Dani?” Oliver says with a soft smile.

“So it would seem.” She looks at Joey. “See you tomorrow morning in class, Joey.”

Harry pushes the cart as they walk away. She was beyond mortified. They get in line and pay for their things. She had driven there, but she has Harry drive back to her place. She was quiet until they got inside her apartment to put the food away.

“He, uh, seemed a little delusional there, no?” Harry says.

“He’s always lived with his head in the sand.” She scoffs. “Rose colored glasses, you know?”

“Did you not know that-“

“No, I didn’t realize that Rory, the person he cheated on me with, had a son. I knew that she was a married woman. They got divorced because of Oliver.” She shakes her head. “Joey’s father is such a sweet man, I can’t believe I never put the pieces together.”

“How exactly did they meet?”

“The first school I worked at was a K-5 a few towns over. Rory was the principal’s secretary, she still is, I think. I brought Oliver with me to a holiday party, and they got to talking. She’s a couple of years older than he and I are. I don’t exactly know how things progressed from there, but apparently she’s pregnant with his kid, they’re engaged, and they’ve bought a house! Isn’t that just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic?”

“Remind me to never watch Friends reruns with you again.” He chuckles. “I can’t believe he had the nerve to hug you like that?”

“He hugged me like that because he’s still in love with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Until I blocked him on literally every platform that I could, he would send me these messages about how he fucked up and that he’d do anything to win me back. He’s in a loveless relationship. He’s made his bed and now he has to lay in it.”

“Does Rory know it’s a loveless relationship?”

“I doubt it. If I had to guess they probably got engaged after they found out she was pregnant. It was probably her way of trapping him.” Danielle rolls her eyes. “You know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater.”

“Well,” he comes around her to hold her from behind, kissing her cheek, “you don’t have to worry about that or pay it any more thoughts, alright?”

“Yeah.” She smiles and turns to kiss him. “I just hope I don’t start running into them all the time now.”

“We could always go to the market near my place, or we could do the online order thing.” He shrugs. “Whatever you wanna do. I just don’t want that idiot making my baby upset.” He pouts at her and she pouts back.

“I love that I get to be your baby.” She sighs as she nuzzles into his chest.

“Me too…I…I love you, Dani.” He kisses her forehead before she looks up at him.

“You do?”

“Mhm.” He smiles. “Guess there’s no perfect time to really say it, but that’s how I feel.”

“Oh, Harry, I love you too.” She kisses him, and blinks some tears away. “Like, a lot.”

“Let’s get these groceries put away, hm? Then I’ll fuck you on the counter. Would you like that, sweetheart?”

“I would, very much so.” She chuckles.

It was the last day of school, so Danielle had both of her groups in the morning. There was a small ceremony for the kindergarteners to commemorate them being able to move on to the first grade. They each got a personalized certificate with some type of achievement they earned in Miss Robinson’s class. She spent two weeks working on them. Once it was over, Danielle had to clean up her classroom for the summer.

“Happy last day of school, babe.” Harry says as he walks in, holding a small bouquet of flowers.

“I think you should ask for a separate office here with how often you come to visit.” She jokes as she takes the flowers. “Not that I’m upset, but what are these for?” She smiles.

“You made it through another year with a group of five-year-olds, thought you should have something nice for it.”

“Well, that’s very thoughtful, thank you.” She kisses his cheek. “I’m just finishing up here and then we can grab lunch.”

Harry nods as he waits for her, helping her take a few boxes out to her car. He thought she looked gorgeous today in her light blue sundress. They enjoy their lunch together before Harry has to go back to work.

“Wanna come to my place tonight?” She asks before they part ways.

“Sure.” He pecks her lips. “Want me to bring dinner?”

“No, I can cook. I’ve got stuff to make a taco salad.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.” They kiss again and off they go.

Things had gotten quite domestic with one another, and Harry was really starting to like it. He also really liked that she was about to be off for the entire summer. Sure, Harry had bonfires, lawn mowers, grills, and other things of that nature to worry about, but his group of volunteer fire fighters would be coming on once again, so it freed up a little more time for himself. He’d be able to take a vacation with Danielle if she wanted. Or he could just take a ton of long weekends so he could spend some time with her. He wasn’t exactly sure what she did over the summer, but he figures they’ll talk about it soon.

When Harry gets to her apartment later that night, he realizes soon means tonight. Danielle was running around her apartment in a tank top and shorts boxing things up and packing.

“Hey, uh, what are you doing?” He says, startling her.

“Oh! I didn’t even hear you come in!” She gasps and clutches at her chest. “Sorry, I’m just trying to get my shit together. I always save this stuff for the last minute.”

“Are you moving?” He asks, almost frantic.

“What? No.” She chuckles. “But I do need a lot of my things with me for when I go up to Seabrook.”

“Seabrook?”

“To my parents’ summer house. I told you they had one, they’re snowbirds, remember?”

“Yeah, you mentioned that…” He swallows. “Are you going for a long weekend?”

“No, I’m going for the majority of the summer. I was actually sort of hoping you’d be able to water some of my plants, but if you can’t I can ask the neighbor again.” She goes over to him and gives him a kiss. “Come on, I set dinner up in the kitchen for us.”

They both go into the kitchen and sit down with their taco salads.

“You’re sort of blindsiding me a bit, babe. I mean, you’ve known you were going to New Hampshire all this time and didn’t think to tell me?”

“I figured I’d come back on weekends.” She shrugs. “You’re going to be working all day, so I figured you wouldn’t really mind if I wasn’t around as much.” She takes a bite of her food. “I also thought maybe you could come up and visit…you know, meet my family.”

“It’s gonna be torturing not being able to come over and see you after work.” He pouts. “But of course I’d love to meet your family.”

“I know…that’s sort of why I was keeping it to myself. I’ll miss you just the same, I hope you know that. This is just really precious family time that I wait all year for.”

“I get it.” He sighs. “What weekend would you want me to come meet them?”

“I’ll have to ask my parents what weekend would work best for them. The first couple of weeks are spent catching up with their friends, and whatnot. The house is in a fifty-five and over community.”

“And you won’t mind driving back on weekends?”

“Not at all.” She shakes her head. “All of the traffic will be going the other way, and the beaches are always so crowded on the weekends. It’ll be perfect.” She smiles at him and leans in a bit. “Plus, I’ll be coming back to you with sun kissed skin. I’ll have lots of tan lines to show you.” She winks and it makes him chuckle.

“Alright, alright. I get to use more time off in the summer, so I’ll be able to take lots of long weekends. We have more of a crew because a lot of our volunteers are teachers, so they have more time to help out.”

“That’s good! I’m so happy the school year is over with. Did you see I put the flowers you got me in a vase?” She points over to the vase in her kitchen window.

“I did.” He nods, a smile growing on his lips. “M’glad you liked them.”

“I loved them.” She kisses his cheek. “You’re so sweet to me, Harry.”

“You’ve turned me into a total mush ball.” He sighs. “But I suppose that’s not a bad thing.”

“You were a mush ball the second you walked into my classroom for the first time.” She smirks.

“And you were a flustered little thing.” He smirks as her face falls. “Ah, she can dish it out, but she can’t take it.” He kisses her temple and takes their now empty plates to the sink. “When are you heading up?”

“A couple of days.” She sighs. “I hate packing so much, it’s the worst.” She groans. “I just keep telling myself I’ll be relaxing on a screened in porch soaking in the ocean breeze with a book in my hand before I know it.” She flops down onto her sofa and Harry sits next to her, rubbing her back. “At least I’ll see my niece and nephew soon too. I love getting to spend so much time with them.”

“Tell me about them, I wanna know as much about your family as I can before I meet them.”

“Really?” She sits up to look at them.

“Mhm.” He puts a pillow on his lap. “Come lay one me. I’ll play with your hair while you talk.”

“If I didn’t love you before.” She giggles, and rests her head in his lap. He starts scratching at her scalp and she sighs. “Okay, so, my dad…”

They both fell asleep on the couch that night talking. Harry told Danielle a lot about his family as well. In the wee hours of the morning, Harry carried her to the bed, and they both snuggled up while they got a few more hours of sleep.

“Danielle, it’s the middle of the night! Where are you going?!” Her brother Clark asks her in a panic. “Shit, are you crying?”

“I…I just got a call.” She sniffles as she throws her hoody on. “I have to get home.”

“Why, what’s happening.”

“H-Harry’s deputy chief called me…there was a really big fire a few hours ago, and a wall collapsed on him, and now he’s in the hospital.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks. “I have to get home to him, Clark, I need to be there when he wakes up.”

“You’re in no condition to drive, especially not for two hours. I’ll go with you. Let me just go to Isabelle.”

“You don’t have to do that, I’m fine.” She wipes her eyes. “I’ll let you know when I get there. I’ll be back in a few days, I’m sure of it.”

She rushes out of the house and gets into the car. She had the radio practically silent, and she was sucking down an iced coffee. Caffeine put her anxiety into hyper drive, but she needed to stay awake somehow. Harry wasn’t even supposed to be at that fire. He got called in as backup, but he wasn’t supposed to go inside. He went in looking for the family’s new puppy.

Once she gets to the hospital, probably looking like a mad woman in her pajama pants and oversized hoody, she checks in and asks where Harry’s being kept.

“Please, I’m his girlfriend, I need to-“

“Dani!” The deputy chief, Ralph, comes rushing towards her. “He just woke up, come with me.” He yanks her by the wrist before the nurse at the desk can say anything.

“Is he okay?”

“He will be.” Ralph nods. “Here we are, go ahead in. Take your time with him.” Ralph smiles, and Danielle returns it.

“Harry?” She says just above a whisper.

“Hey, baby.” He gives her a soft smile. “What are you doing here?”

“I hopped in my car a second after Ralph called me. I was so worried.” She sits on the edge of his hospital bed.

“I’m okay, sweetheart, just a few scrapes and bruises.”

“Harry…your arm’s in a sling.”

“Just a sprained wrist, it’ll heal up real soon.”

“How can you be so calm about this?” She asks as she curls up next to him. He throws his arm around her and sighs.

“Because if I let every little accident scare me, I wouldn’t be able to do my job properly. This is what I signed up for, babe.”

“Did you at least find the puppy?”

“I did, shielded the poor thing from the wall that collapsed on me. M’gonna have to go on light duty for a while.”

“Which means what exactly?”

“Lots of administrative work…that I can do remotely. So, I was thinking…maybe I could come up to Seabrook with you for a little longer than a weekend.”

“I’d love that! We can drive back up together. Everyone’s excited to meet you.”

“I’m excited to meet them too.”

After Harry rested up for a few days at home, with Danielle doting on him even though he told her she didn’t need to, the two drive up north together.

“Auntie Dani’s back!” Sarah exclaims as she bursts out of the porch.

“Sarah!” Isabelle yells after her. “We don’t run out of the house, no matter how excited we are to see Auntie.” She picks her daughter up. “Sorry, Dani.” Isabelle chuckles.

“No worries.” Danielle laughs. “This is my boyfriend, Harry. Harry, this is my sister-in-law Isabelle.”

“Hi.” Harry says, and Isabelle gasps when she sees his arm in a sling. “Just a sprained wrist, m’fine.” “It’s nice to meet you. This must be Sarah, yeah?”

“Hello.” The little girl smiles.

“Come on, everyone’s inside getting ready to head down to the beach.” Isabelle says.

Harry and Danielle follow inside. She takes him into the kitchen where her parents, Robert and Donna were finishing up their coffee.

“Dani!” Donna smiles. “How was the ride back up?”

“Fine, not a lot of traffic once we were out of the city.” She smiles. “This is Harry.”

“The hero that saved the puppy!” Robert says.

“I’m no hero, just did my job. It’s nice to meet you both. Thank you for inviting me to your home.” He shakes both of their hands.

“Are you kidding? We were over the moon when Dani said she’d be bringing a boyfriend with her.” Donna says. “Honey, why don’t you help Harry get settled and then meet us down at the beach?”

“Okay.” Danielle nods.

The two bring their things inside while everyone else makes their way to the beach. Danielle helps Harry put his clothes away in the dresser.

“So…are we alone right now?” Harry asks casually after putting his things away in the bathroom.

“Um, yeah. Everyone went down to set up at the beach, why?”

“Well…” He sits down on the bed and tugs her to sit on his lap, straddling her. “I haven’t been able to do much the last few days, and I’d like to make up for it.”

“Harry.” Her face flushes. “I can’t just fuck you here.”

“In the privacy of a bedroom? Here I was thinking this would be the perfect place.” He rolls his eyes.

“I just…” She bites her bottom lip. Before she can say anything when she opens her mouth again, he’s kissing her. “Fuck, okay, but we have to be quick. And no leaving marks, I don’t need to feel like a teenager at the age of twenty-seven.”

“How about no marks in any visible places?”

“Harry, I’m gonna be wearing a two piece, a lot is going to be visible.”

“Your ass?”

She whimpers softly and kisses him again. They both fall back on the bed, careful not to hurt his wrist. Danielle ended up riding his dick since he couldn’t really prop himself up with hands at the moment, but neither of them minded. It was a much-needed release for the both of them. Once they’re both cleaned up, they change into their bathing suits and go down to the beach to join her family.

“Auntie Dani, do you wanna dig a moat with me?” Ryan asks her the second she sets her things down.

“Sure! Just let me get some sunscreen on, okay?”

“You’re already looking a little red.” Clark remarks, and she glares at him. “Nice to meet you, Harry.”

“Same to you.” Harry says as he sits down in his beach chair.

Danielle peels her coverup off, and lathers up in sunscreen before grabbing a sand toy to help Ryan dig a moat. Isabelle was down by the water with Sarah.

“Harry, do you like seafood?” Donna asks him.

“I do.” He nods.

“Wonderful, I thought it would be nice to go out to eat since you’re here with us now. Celebrate having a full house and whatnot.”

“Oh, well…that sounds nice, thanks.” Harry smiles at her.

“I hope you won’t be too miserable working from inside the house…there’s no central air or anything.” Robert says.

“Oh, it’s not a problem. Heat doesn’t exactly bother me.” He smirks, and Danielle flicks some sand at him. “Oi, what was that for?!”

“No fire fighter jokes or puns.” She points a finger at him warningly. “We’re on vacation.”

“Come on, that was a good one, admit it.”

“I will do no such thing.” She looks at her parents who were chuckling at the exchange. “Don’t encourage him, it’ll only make it worse.”

“Anyways,” he side eyes her and then looks back at her parents, “I’ll probably just set up on the porch when I need to hop onto email. My deputy chief is taking on a bit more for me for the next couple of weeks.”

Harry never really saw himself being a dad someday, but as the day went on, and he watched Danielle interact with Sarah and Ryan, he suddenly understood why women would get baby fever seeing a man hold a baby. He may have only been with Danielle for five months, but fuck…he wanted to be the father of her kids. Yes, he got to spend an entire week with her and her classroom, but it’s not like he got to witness her loving on any of the kids. The way she cradled four-year-old Sarah to her chest as she napped, or splashed around in the water with Ryan, well, if he had ovaries they’d be bursting.

Seeing her help them at dinner was just as cute too. Sarah insisted that her booster chair be places next to Danielle, and Danielle ended up helping cut up Sarah’s chicken fingers. Then Harry got to witness Danielle tucking Sarah and Ryan in for the night to give Clark and Isabelle a break.

The two decide to turn in a bit early since it had been a long day. Danielle was sitting up in bed reading her romance novel. Harry was reading the same one. They had formed a little book club with another once they found out they liked the same genre of fiction.

“Dani?” He says to her.

“Hm?” She says without looking at him.

“Do you think you wanna have kids of your own one day? Or are your kindergartners enough kids for you?”

She immediately closes her book and looks at him. She was a little shocked.

“I…I always thought if I met the right person then I’d want to have kids. Like, turning that love into something physical, you know? What’s got you asking me about kids all of a sudden?”

“In all honesty…watching you with Ryan and Sarah today sort of sparked my interest. You’re so good with them in so many different ways. I…I mean I never really thought twice about having kids, but if you and I decide this is a long term thing…I’d love to be the person you have kids with.”

“Thought you didn’t like playing the what if game.” She leans in and pecks his lips.

“I don’t.”

“Okay, so, it’s not an if with us, Harry, it’s a when.”

He smiles and kisses her tenderly.

“You’re the love of my life, you know that?” He says against her lips before kissing her again.

The school year was just about to start again. Classes would begin just after Labor Day. How were Harry and Danielle spending their long weekend? Well, she was currently bouncing up and down on his dick reverse-cowgirl on her couch while he sucked a nasty bruise into her neck, rubbing her clit with one hand, and kneading one of her breasts with the other. She felt like she was drooling from how good everything felt. The two of them had both tanned nicely over the summer, and now they Danielle was fully back in her apartment, Harry was taking full advantage.

“Fuck, fuck!” She pants. Harry was thrusting up into her, pounding against her g-spot.

It was how she liked it, she didn’t care if she was sore later, and he was happy to give it to her like this. She turns her head slightly and she licks into his mouth to suck on his tongue. He replaces his tongue in her mouth with two of his fingers, which she was happy to suck on while his fingers continued to work her clit. They had been together for a while now, and sometimes when you were a little older, time didn’t make much of a difference when you were trying to check off certain boxes with the person you loved most. So, Harry just blurts out what he’s thinking.

“I think we should move in together.” He grunts, and she gasps around his fingers.

“Wh-what?” She says, whining because she’s so very close. This wasn’t the type of talk she enjoyed during sex. “Harry, please, I’m almost there, can we talk about this after?” She tugs at his hair, making him groan.

He grips her hips, helping her rock faster on him, and she goes to rub her own clit. He was fucking so hard and deep that she thought her spine was going to crack in half, but she didn’t fucking care. She wanted it. He hits it just right again, and her eyes roll into the back of her head as her back arches, her body molding into his as she rides it out. His come shoots up inside her a moment after, and he presses his lips to her temple. She tries to move off him, but he wraps his arms around her tummy to keep here there.

“Can we talk now?” He breathes, his breath hot on the shell of her ear and she whimpers. “I really think we should live together.”

“And whose place do you want to live at, hm? We’re both pack rats, Har. We both need home offices, we both-“

“Just answer the question: do you want to live together?”

“Yes.” She looks over her shoulder at him. “I do.”

“Okay, then.” He smiles and gently lifts her off of him. “Right when we started dating, I got pre-approved for a home loan.” He wraps her up in the blanket she has on the couch and carries her into the bedroom so they can both lay down before cleaning themselves up. “I put the house hunting on hold, obviously…I’d need to get pre-approved again since the three-month window they gave me lapsed, but…I can afford a pretty decent house.” He smiles fondly at Danielle. She had that after sex glow to her, and it always made him melt.

“You…you can afford a house?”

“I can.” He nods. “Been saving up for a while. I was sort of hoping…well…we could look at houses together. I could buy it, and then we could split the mortgage payments, or I could just pay the mortgage and you could take care of the utilities and other bills. Whatever makes more sense.” He shrugs. She blinks a few times and then licks her lips.

“I just…wow, I can’t believe you wanna do something so huge with me. Buying a house with someone is a pretty big deal.”

“I feel like it makes more sense to buy the house first, and then save back up for a wedding later, but that’s just me.” He gives her a smug look and her eyes widen. “I think that’s why the divorce rate is too high, not enough people live together before they get married.” A grin starts to form on her lips. “Don’t look at me like that, we’ve talked about long-term stuff before.”

“We’ve talked about hypothetical babies, not buying a house. Do you already have a realtor?”

“No, and we don’t really need one. We can just look up the houses we wanna see and contact the realtor that’s selling the home. A friend of mine did that and they said it was a way better experience.”

“I can’t believe this.” She shakes her and then giggles, throwing her arms around his neck. “You wanna be us a house! I wish I could help with the down payment, but my student loans have prevented me from putting a lot into my savings…”

“It’s no problem. You’re able to afford this place on your own, so I figured you’d be able to help with bills and stuff.”

“I definitely will be able to.” She kisses his cheek. “Let’s go take a shower and then we can start looking on realtor.”

“Eager.” He smirks as she tugs him up from the bed.

“Now’s the time to buy! All of the snowbirds who are looking to make the big plunge to warm weather full time will be looking to get rid of their houses, and with the school year starting we don’t really have to worry about competing with families. It’s perfect, Harry!”

It was, it really was.

By the beginning of October, the two were moved into a stunning home with four bedrooms, and four baths. They got just about everything on their wish list, and anything they didn’t, Harry said he could make happen. Danielle was able to pass out candy for Halloween to the kids in the neighborhood, which delighted her to no end because a few of her new and previous students stopped by. And when it came time for Thanksgiving, even though they weren’t full unpacked, Danielle was able to host a fabulous dinner for her family.

It wasn’t always perfect, they disagreed on paint colors, furniture, curtains, and rugs. They usually found some way to compromise, though. Sometimes Danielle had trouble checking her attitude at the door. There was one evening she got home a little later than usual, so Harry got dinner started. A nice gesture on his part, which she thanked him for. However, when it came time to clean up, she wouldn’t stop huffing while she loaded the dishwasher.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” He finally asks. “Why are you reorganizing everything?”

“Because you never put anything in here right.” She snaps. “Bowls and cups go on the top rack. Look at this! You put one of the little plates up here, how the fuck is that supposed to get cleaned properly?” She says as she moves the small plate to the bottom rack. “You also don’t load the silverware correctly. Did you want me to stab myself?! I’m usually the one that has to unload it.” She huffs again after throwing a pod in and turning the dishwasher on. She crosses her arms and looks at him. “I’m your girlfriend, not your mother.”

“I never said you were.” He crosses his arms as well, astonished at her tone.

“Yeah? So, did you think that your dirty socks and underwear just magically picked themselves up and put themselves into your hamper? Did you think that the bed magically gets made? Did you think that the broom and dustpan do a little fucking dance and that’s how the shmutz on the floor gets cleaned up?!”

“You’re making it seem like I don’t do anything to help out around here. I’m the one that rakes the leaves and mows the lawn, I’m the one that has to stop what I’m doing to come kill a bug every time you yelp, I’m the one that takes care of all the trash in the house-“

“Only when I say something about it overflowing. I have to tell you to do everything!”

“Look, I’m sorry I don’t load the dishwasher in the way that you’d prefer, but the dishes get clean, so-“

“No, they don’t. I either have to run it again, or I wash the stuff by hand. We’re gonna have kids someday, Harry, I don’t want them picking up on your bad habits.”

“My bad habits?!” Okay, now he was getting angry. “I have to ask you to clean your hair out of the shower drain. In fact, your hair is fucking everywhere! You never wipe off the mirror after you pop a pimple, which you know you shouldn’t be doing anyway.” He rolls his eyes. Her face falls into a deep frown. “Not so much fun when someone’s pointing out your flaws, is it?”

“Fuck off.” She turns on her heel and makes her way out of the kitchen.

“Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be. You’re going to start an argument with me, but you’re not going to finish it?” He says as he follows her out to the staircase.

“You asked me what was wrong, and I told you.” She states.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to be such a bitch about it.” Her eyes widen with anger at that, and her nails press into her palms. She starts stomping her way upstairs. “Dani.” He sighs. “Shit, I didn’t mean to say that.” He follows her up the stairs.

“But you did.” She goes into the bedroom and almost shuts the door in his face, but he catches it, making his way in. “You men are all the same, you know that? Any time a woman calls you out on some crap, she’s a bitch.”

“You got upset over something as insignificant as loading a dishwasher. You know we’re lucky to even have one? There are people who don’t have the luxury.”

“Yeah, I know! And I’d probably be the one to always be washing the dishes.”

“If it bothered you that much, then why didn’t you say something to me before?”

“Because I didn’t want to come off as naggy! I don’t want to be one of those women that’s always telling their partner what to do and how to do it, but holy fuck, who actually raised you?! I mean, some of the things you do, I just don’t understand.” She shakes her head.

“We were obviously raised differently.” He sighs. “You know if you just told me-“

“But I don’t want to have to tell you! I don’t want to have to ask because I shouldn’t have to.”

“I’m not a mind reader, Dani!”

“I’m not asking you to be! But when the sink is full of dishes, do you think you could take care of it without me having to mention it? Do you think that when the trash is full you could just bag it up and take it and put a new bag in? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally thrown something out without a bag being in the barrel. It drives me bananas!”

“Okay, I’ll…I’ll try to be better about those things. I don’t want you to feel like you’re having to pick up after me.” He runs a hand through his hair.

“And…I’ll try to not just explode on you when something’s been bothering me.” She sits on the bed and lays back. “Ugh, I just had a long day. Kids are starting to get colds, and the meeting I had after school just wouldn’t end, I’m supposed to get my period in a couple of days so I feel bloated and gross.” Harry sits down next to her and rubs her thigh. He looks down at her with a soft smile. “Listen to me.” She sighs. “Here I am complaining about stupid things when you literally put your life at risk every time you go to work.”

“Don’t compare us, babe. You’re allowed to feel annoyed and stressed.”

“How do you always stay so calm?” She tugs him down to lay with her.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to stay upset when I have such a cute girlfriend.” He kisses her cheek and she giggles.

“I’m sorry I got so mad.”

“It’s okay, baby.” He kisses her cheek again. “We’re bound to have an argument once in a while. The most important thing is that we always make up afterwards.” He starts kissing on her neck and she bites her bottom lip.

“Harry, I just told you that I feel bloated and gross, and-“

“So, let me make you feel not gross.” He says as he moves on top of her. “Let me love on you, darling, it’ll help you destress.” He moves her up the bed until he’s situated between her legs. He undoes her pants and drags them down her legs. “Are you wearing boxer-briefs?” He questions.

“Y-yeah? I started buying them a little while ago. They’re more comfortable, and they breathe better. Plus, no panty lines.”

“How did I not notice this?” He blinks.

“Because I usually change when I get home into something a little sexier.” She chuckles.

“Actually…” He tugs on the band and lets it snap back against her skin. “You look pretty sexy in these.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He tugs them off of her and kisses on her tummy. He parts he legs and licks around her folds. She sighs and lets her body rest into the mattress.

“I really feel like I don’t deserve this since I was so nasty to you.” She says as she cards her finger through his hair.

“You can make it up to me by letting me fuck your mouth afterwards. Seems like you could use a break from running it, hm?” He sucks on her clit, making her groan, and she nods.

“Yeah, seems fair to me.” She gasps as he licks into her warm center, and uses his thumb on her clit. “Would you make me come a few times, though, at least?”

Her gives her a devilish smirk, which she takes as a yes while he continues to work his tongue in and out of her. He gave her four orgasms before crawling up her body and stuffing his throbbing down her throat. Feeling her nails dig into his hips as he thrusted in and out of her was everything he needed. They didn’t do stuff like this often. He didn’t want to be one of those couples where certain types of sex or positions were used as punishments. But he knew Danielle genuinely enjoyed feeling a little bit of pain, not that they’d ever talked about it. He didn’t want to embarrass her by bringing up one of her very obvious kinks. Whenever he did fuck her throat, though, she always moaned around him, and she’d end up drenched between her legs all over again, so he knew she enjoyed it. He also made sure to love on her right afterwards, praising her, telling her how good she did for him, and he’d get a glass of water for her to sip on while he cleaned her up. They had good, healthy relationship in many aspects. He loved her, he really fucking loved her, and he never wanted to be without her.

“Dani, fuck, I love you, I love you so much, shit!” He cries out as he comes down her throat. He pulls away from her carefully and she smiles up at him after swallowing. He wipes a few stray tears away from her cheek.

“I love you too.” She says, voice hoarse, but still there.

“Do you feel like taking a bath tonight? I could rub your shoulders for you.”

“I’d like that, yeah, thanks.”

A couple of months later, and it was fire safety week once again. They made it through their first holiday season together, and his thirty-third birthday. Now they had been together an entire year, owned a home together, and were looking into potentially getting a dog. Harry had told her all about the senior dogs at the shelter, and Danielle sort of liked the idea of not having to train a puppy, even if they were undeniably cute.

All of the kids in both of Danielle’s groups knew that Chief Styles was Miss Robinson’s very special friend because she had a picture of the two of them on her desk, and one of him as her desktop wallpaper. It was no surprise that some of the kids teased them a bit, and asked some personal questions, but other than that the week was going well as it usually did. When Friday rolled around, it was time for the kids to put on their performance for the fire department. It was an assembly all of the grades came to, along with the other teachers. Once the four songs, and a skit, are over, Harry goes up to give his thanks just as he did last year.

“Thank you all so much for another fantastic week. Fire safety is extremely important to learn at a young age. I know we had a lot of fun together, but remember, when you’re missing Chief Styles, don’t call 911 to talk to him. Have your parent or guardian come down to the fire house, and we can say hello there, alright?” That was usually where the assembly would end, but today things were going to go a little differently. “If I could have all of the kids back up on stage for a moment? Parents, I promise this won’t take more than a couple of minutes.”

Danielle was visibly confused because she hadn’t planned anything else with the students, and Harry hadn’t mentioned adding anything special today. So, she sat in her seat in the front row and watched. She leaned over next to one of her colleagues.

“Do you know what’s going on?” She asks.

“Just watch, Dani.” Her colleague says, and Danielle sits up straight in her seat again.

All of the kids were holding a piece of paper in their hands. It was facing blank towards the audience. Some of them were giggling as Harry and the other fire fighters placed them in certain spots. Ralph gives Harry a thumbs up, and he starts speaking into the microphone again.

“Not a lot of people know this, or maybe they do, I don’t really know, but last year was my first year getting to host fire safety week with the lovely Miss Robinson, and over this last year she’s managed to steal my heart, giving me the great privilege of calling her my girlfriend.” The kids behind him snicker and giggle. “You said you’d all be cool, come on.” He looks over at Danielle, who still really had no idea what the fuck was going on. “Miss Robinson, could you come here for a moment?”

She nods, and gets up slowly, walking over to him. He takes one of his hands in hers.

“What are you doing?” She whispers.

“You’ll see.” He winks. “Miss Robinson has taught her kids how to spell lots of interesting words already this year. She teaches them how to sound things out, and all that good stuff. I had a chance to teach them something this week and they’ve been dying to show you.” He tugs her to the side so the whole audience will be able to see. “Alright, kids, flip your papers over to show Miss Robinson.”

She gasps when she sees it, cupping a hand over her mouth as her eyes start to well up. All of the papers spelled out: M I S S – R O B I N S O N – W I L L – Y O U – M A R R Y – M E ? She looks at Harry, who was now down on one knee, holding up a gorgeous ring in a little black, velvet box.

“It says, Miss Robinson, will you marry me?” He says to her with a beaming smile.

“I can see that.” She says, wiping some tears from her cheeks.

“Will you?”

“Yes! Oh my god, yes.” Everyone in the room cheers as Harry slips the ring on her finger. He stands up, and kisses her, not to vulgarly because there were kids around, but enough to show how happy he was that she said yes. “When did you have the time to plan all of this with them?”

“Got their parents’ emails from one of the other teachers.” He smirks. “Are you surprised?”

“I’m shocked!” She turns to her students. “You all kept such a big secret from me!” They crowd around her to hug her as she opens her arms for them.

A ton of the teachers, parents, and fire fighters all come up to the congratulate the pair. Once all of the fuss is over, and the cafeteria is cleared, Harry and Danielle go back to her classroom so she can pack up her things for the day.

“Do you like the ring?” He asks nervously.

“Are you kidding, I love it! It’s so beautiful, baby.” She pecks his lips. “I can’t wait to call my parents, I’m buzzing! Think of how cute Sarah’s going to be as a flower girl. Oh, and they’ll start calling you Uncle Harry, how sweet!”

“Gonna have to let Ryan be a groomsman, or I think he’ll try to kill me.” Harry chuckles. “He’s quite protective over his Auntie Dani.”

“And don’t you forget it.” She presses her finger to his chest. He leans in and kisses her tenderly. Normally, Danielle didn’t like getting so lovey dovey in her classroom, but she figured she had a good excuse in case anyone walked in. “I still can’t believe you planned all of that and pulled it off. Those kids usually can’t keep a secret.”

“I promised them all a ride in one of the fire trucks if they kept their mouths shut.”

“Damn, that was really smart.” She chuckles.

“I’d say so.” He smirks. “Do you feel like going out to eat tonight to celebrate? Ralph and his husband were hoping to treat us.”

“Sure.” She nods. “I’ll just need to cancel my yoga classes really quick.”

“You can still teach your classes if you want. I can just tell him we won’t be ready until later.”

“No, see, I wanna go home, and stay there for a bit.” She tugs on the suspenders that were keeping his fire pants up. “I’d like to celebrate with you privately first, Chief Styles.” She takes his hat off and puts it on her own head before catching his bottom lip between her teeth and sucking on it. He groans into the kiss, and she lets his lip snap back. He had inadvertently put her into one of her ‘Chief Styles/Miss Robinson’ moods, which he wasn’t upset about in the least. “How’s that sound?”

“Well, Miss Robinson, I’d say it sounds like you’re trying to seduce me.” He smirks, and she rolls her eyes. It was her least favorite joke.

“I can’t wait to be Danielle Robinson Styles so that you can’t make that stupid fucking joke anymore. I’m not a forty-year-old woman seducing a recent college grad!” His face softens immensely. “What?”

“Nothing.” He puts his hands on her hips and gives her a squeeze. “I just…I didn’t think you’d want to change your name, is all.”

“Harry, I’d be proud to be called Mrs. Styles. Think of how cute it’ll be after we get married and I have a new class, and then when you come in for fire safety week, I’ll be able to say my husband, Chief Styles.” She pouts at him.

“Alright, it’s time we get you home before my stiffy pops through my pants.”

She giggles as she grabs her bag, and they both rush out of her classroom, and out to the car. They held hands the while way home, not wanting to be apart from one another’s touch for even a second.

#burning love #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles au #harry styles series #harry styles x oc #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #firefighter!harry #firefighterry

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everybodyscupoftea · 3 years

Text

santa doesn’t squat

pike jj x reader

christmas tree farm shenanigans

(warnings: cursing, zero editing even a little)

“Guys,” Cody pulled a piece of paper out of his booksack, “I found the coolest thing.”

You glanced up from your ethics book, eyebrows raised, “What’s that?”

“Christmas tree farm, but for families!”

JJ sat up where he had slumped down on his desk, “Bro, we can’t get a tree.”

“No, I know. It’s stupid, they should let us get one for the house, but whatever.”

You snapped to get his attention, “Focus up, bud. I got a test tomorrow, when do you wanna go to this?”

“The weekend after finals. I just don’t want anyone to go home before we get to go.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” JJ hummed, “so I’m in.”

“Same,” you added.

Cody beamed, “Sweet, I can’t wait! Going to find Tyler, see you guys.”

Finals week came and went, and you kind of forgot about the whole Christmas tree farm thing. Until you and JJ woke up early Saturday morning to a loud banging on your apartment door. Jolting upright, you looked around wildly, trying to figure out what was wrong.

JJ was a little slower, but once he processed, got out of bed and walked slowly to the door, grabbing your baseball bat on the way. You watched, peeking out your room cautiously, as he looked through the peephole.

He relaxed and yanked the door open, “What the fuck, asshole?”

Cody’s voice responded, “Rise and shine, friends, we’re getting breakfast before the Christmas tree farm.”

Your shoulders sagged with relief, and you fully stepped out of your room, “You couldn’t have, I don’t know, called us?”

He shrugged, “Nah, this was way more effective. Now, I’m going to sit on the couch until you two are ready to go.” Cody shoved his way past JJ and plopped down, reaching for your TV remote, “Hurry up, folks. Breakfast reservation in 45 minutes.”

JJ rolled his eyes and trudged to your bathroom, and you turned back to your room to start getting dressed.

Much to Cody’s happiness, the two of you were ready in about 20 minutes. He sighed in relief, “Thank god, Tyler bet we’d be late, so I should be winning $20 thanks to you guys.”

You and JJ chose to not respond as you followed Cody out of the apartment to his car. Cody put on his Christmas playlist as soon as he cranked up the car and pulled out of the parking lot, headed toward the breakfast place you and JJ frequently went on Sunday mornings.

“Holy shit,” JJ muttered, “this place is packed on Saturdays.”

“Hence the reservation,” Cody sassed.

“Bitch,” JJ started.

You stepped in between them, “Boys, please. Cody, don’t antagonize JJ before he’s had coffee. JJ don’t let Cody get to you, you know he’s a morning person.”

“It’s unnatural,” JJ muttered, but listened to you anyway.

Tyler was already inside at a booth and waved when the three of you walked in. He had three mugs of coffee on the table, and JJ slid in opposite of him, immediately reaching for it. Cody rolled his eyes, “Dramatic.”

“Let me drink it in peace or I’ll bully you all day.”

“Bully me? What are we, in high school?”

“I’ll whack you so hard you’ll go back in time.”

You sighed, “Pack it up Biff, and drink your fucking coffee.”

“I’m choosing to not try and figure out what you’re referencing,” JJ sniffed.

“It’s Back to the Future,” Tyler volunteered, and you nodded.

Just like normal, they were quick to get you in and out, much to Cody’s happiness. You’d never seen him so excited about something in months, which you were a bit curious about. Eventually, after he had to stop for the third time to let the rest of you catch up, you asked, “What’s got you so excited, bud?”

“I haven’t done anything like this since I left Michigan, haven’t even thought to look really, but I saw the flier in Dunkin so I grabbed it.”

“Let’s do it then,” JJ told him, squeezing his shoulder.

It was busy as fuck, which to be fair, should’ve been expected since it was early on a Saturday. Cody grabbed you by the hand, “Let’s go do ornaments.”

The ornaments station was clearly for children and not four, exhausted college seniors, but the lady in charge didn’t give a fuck and let you all sit down.

“Have crayons always been this small?” Tyler mused, picking through them to find the color he wanted for his reindeer.

“You trying to flex big hands?” JJ asked, more focused on his angel than Tyler’s answer.

Tyler smirked, “Let’s just say I’m having a harder time than you are with the crayons.”

You swooned, “Oversized hands? Why am I with JJ?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. I made my moves.”

JJ paused, “You leaving me?”

“No,” you sighed, “I’m just a little too attached.”

Cody focused on coloring his Christmas tree. He was going into great detail, adding ornaments and lights. His tongue was sticking out the corner of his mouth as he colored in the star on top, and you had to take a picture.

He pouted when you all finished, “I don’t have a bag and now we have to carry these.”

“Let me put them in my pocket,” Tyler offered.

“They’ll bend.”

“They might rip or get dirty if I don’t.”

With a sigh, he relented, “Fine. But let’s go to the petting zoo next.”

“Petting zoo?” you asked incredulously, looking around.

“They have reindeers and shit.”

Sure enough, a small petting zoo was located a little further in with a chair for Santa nearby. Cody looked at the three of you, standing by one of the reindeer, “So, guys. What if we took a picture with Santa.”

“We definitely should,” JJ agreed immediately.

“You gonna tell him you’ve been a good boy?” Tyler asked.

Cody winked, “Maaaybe.”

And clearly, the four of you had been talking too loudly, because Santa was staring. You shoved Cody in his direction, “Go sit on his lap.”

The guy shook his head, “Sorry my guy, too big for my lap.”

JJ answered, “Make sure you’re hitting legs at the gym too, Santa.”

He squinted at JJ, “Coming from you huh?”

You snorted, hiding your laugh with a cough before speaking, “Come on, guys, we gotta get a picture and keep moving.”

A lady dressed as an elf who looked entirely too happy to be dealing with so many people took your phone eagerly to take a picture. Once Cody was happy with it, you moved on, ready to leave.

“Wait,” Cody hesitated, “can we at least go look at the trees?”

Tyler narrowed his eyes, “Dude, we can’t buy one.”

“I know,” he sighed, “but I want to look.”

You interrupted before anyone else could answer, “Let’s go look at a few rows.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Cody, we literally can’t.”

“But it’s so small and cute, look at it!”

“Cody,” you reasoned, “who is going to water it?”

“Me!”

“You literally won’t,” Tyler told him, “I’ll be watering it within a week.”

“I’m a successful plant mom.”

“Yeah, small plants.”

“This is technically small.”

JJ rolled his eyes, “Smaller than a normal tree but not small.”

You thought back to the apron you’d picked out for Cody’s gift and sighed, “You know what, let’s just get it.”

“What?” JJ yelped, turning to face you, betrayed.

“I know, I know. But he needs it.”

Tyler’s jaw dropped, “He so doesn’t.”

“Okay,” Cody rubbed his hands together, “let’s fucking go.”

He took the axe he’d grabbed from one of the workers and started working on the trunk of the small tree. It didn’t take more than a few hacks before it fell into Tyler’s open arms.

“I’m not fucking carrying it. Cody come get your shit.”

You laughed, “You got a tree stand at home?”

Cody scoffed, “Who do you think I am? Of course I have a tree stand.”

“What about ornaments?”

He paused, “I have lights, not sure about ornaments.”

Tyler patted his pocket, “You have at least four.”

“And that’s all I need.”

Cody and JJ went to the car with the tree while you and Tyler stayed behind to pay and get any last minute instructions. The lady taking payments smiled at Tyler’s muttered, “I can’t believe we’re letting him get a tree.”

“He had a rough semester, we’ll give it to him.”

“I had a rough semester, what do I get?”

If we go to a basketball game, will you chill?”

Tyler paused, “Actually yes.”

“Okay fine, get tickets and we’ll go.”

“Bet!” he answered, walking away, already looking down at his phone.

The worker laughed, handing your card back, “A handful, huh?”

“Yes. Both hands.”

“Good luck with that. And Happy Holidays.”

You bid her goodbye and followed the boys out.

day 13 of @obxmermaid‘s holiday challenge: christmas tree farm

#pike!jj #cody and tyler #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fic #outer banks #outer banks fic #obxmermaidholiday #frat!jj

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taleasnewastime · 4 years

Text

Work

Namjoon x reader genre: fluff word count: 1.4k

a/n: I constantly stress about life, comparing myself to friends or people I see on social media, it’s hard not to. So I wanted to write this for myself as well as other people who feel the same. I hope you enjoy.

“Diana got a promotion at her work today,” you say it happily but can’t help the slight pout that comes to your face.

“That’s amazing, good for her,” Namjoon says and you have to turn away from him to hide your obvious jealousy.

You are so proud of your friend and only have happiness about the fact that she is doing so well in her career but you can’t help the bad feelings that come to you when you reflect on your own life and job. Yes you were in an industry that you wanted to be in, but you weren’t in the job you wanted. Watching your friends progress felt amazing as you were so happy for them and loved watching them strive in life, but it also made you feel like you were falling behind, like you should be further in your career than you are, like you are slightly failing in life.

“We’re going out for drinks next week to celebrate,” you say, back still to Namjoon, pretending to be busy doing something on the counter.

“You should get her some flowers or something as a well done,” you finally turn around to face the man, a smile on your face at his suggestion.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” you say lightly as you head to where he is sat on the sofa.

You sit down next to the man and look at the TV that was playing a show that you’d never seen before. Getting lost in your thoughts you zone out slightly and don’t notice when Namjoon turns to look at you. Jumping slightly when his hand lightly touches your face to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

“What’s up love?” He was always good at noticing when something was playing on your mind.

“I don’t want to sound like a bitch, and I truly am happy for Diana and am so proud of her, and this is nothing to do with the fact that she’s got a promotion” you start, pausing.

“But...” Namjoon says.

“But,” you sigh and look at him. “What am I doing with my life? I feel like I’m stuck in a job that I don’t really like when everyone else is doing amazingly.”

“You are doing amazingly. You’ll get your dream job one day baby,” he says.

“What if I get the job I’ve been dreaming of getting and when I start I hate it? What if it’s nothing that I wanted it to be?”

“But what if it’s everything you ever dreamed it would be?” He shoots back.

You hum in recognition but Namjoon can tell that you don’t really believe his words.

“You know I always dreamed of being a rapper, of creating my own music. And I get to do that every day and I love it. But there are parts I hate, parts I wish I didn’t have to do, that I don’t enjoy,” you look at him, he had never openly admitted this to you, sure he complained to you about aspects of his work but he had never said it so bluntly as this. “I wouldn’t change my job for the world, I love it, but there are some days where I hate it, where I wish it wasn’t my job. Maybe you’ll get the job you dreamed you’d have and maybe you’ll hate it, but then you’ll know and you’ll be able to figure out what you actually want to do. But what if you get it and it’s even better than you could have imagined. It may be scary, but that shouldn’t stop you trying to achieve everything you want in life.”

Why is it that he always knows exactly what to say? You think.

“I guess you’re right,” you say, unease still in your voice.

“You shouldn’t let fear stop you from trying to achieve your dreams.”

You nod your head at his words, taking them in, trying to make them stick so that in the future whenever you start having doubts again you can think back to this.

“I know whatever you choose to do you’ll be amazing at it. Anyone will be lucky to have you work for them.”

You smile at him thankful for the compliment. “I know you shouldn’t compare yourself to people, that people move at different speeds and are on different courses in life, but it’s hard not to compare yourself. Especially with social media showing you what everyone is doing 24/7. Everyone paints their life to look perfect, and I know that it’s all a show, that they have their problems too, but it still doesn’t help in making me feel any better about my life.”

“But I bet if you actually spoke to them they would feel exactly how you feel. Like you said, who doesn’t have problems? Who really knows what they want to do in life? Who doesn’t look at people and friends and compare where they are in life?” He chuckles at his own words.

“But surely you’re happy and content? You’re at the top of your career, literally no one is doing as well as you guys at the moment,” you say.

“Is that what you think?” He raises his eyebrows in surprise at you. You’d never had this in depth a conversation with him about work before, all previous conversations being about what you’d done at work, whether you were complaining and bitching about what someone had done, or excited about something that had happened. “Don’t get me wrong I’m so happy, and I feel so lucky to be doing what I do and to have the success that we’ve had. Sometimes I look at my life and my career and wonder what I did to deserve everything I have achieved, it’s more than I could have ever of dreamed of or imagined. But I worry about the future, we won’t be this big and successful forever and what am I supposed to do then? When I make a new song I worry whether people will like it whether it will live up to what we’ve done in the past. People always expect bigger and better, but what if I can’t do that? I want to do more solo work, maybe release another mixtape, but that takes time that I don’t really have. And then I look at my friends, friends that aren’t in this industry and they are settled down and in good careers and they can go off and do what they want on weekends and have holidays and not worry about being recognised. Part of me would kill for that. I look at other people in my industry and listen to their music and wish that I could make music like them. I compare myself to others all the time, just like you. And I have my insecurities too.”

“You never told me that,” you say, eyes focused on him as he opens up to you.

He shrugs lightly and you can now see the invisible weight pressing down on his shoulders. “You never told me you felt so bad about work either,” he retorts.

You nod your head in agreement. Though you had never spoken this in depth on the topic before, you both knew how the other felt about work. You knew each other too well to be oblivious to the feelings, but it was nice to finally open up on the topic and lay all your feelings on the table.

“Someone else’s progress doesn’t make yours any less,” Namjoon says. “You’ll get there in your own time. And even if you don’t reach your goals or dreams, that doesn’t mean you haven’t achieved great things.”

“Thanks Joon,” you give him a small smile. “I think I needed to hear that.”

“Feeling better?” He asks.

Not giving a verbal response. Instead you lean forward so that you can wrap your arms around the man. After a second he follows your lead and wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer into him.

“Why are you so amazing?” You say into his shoulder.

You feel his body vibrate as a laugh leaves his mouth. No response offered to your question.

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xgoldxnhour · 3 years

Note

Ship meme for El and Sam (any verse)

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General: Modern/TWD - I couldn't choose

How long will they last? - Well, both until their death obviously, but modern is a few decades (THANK GOD) and TWD is roughly 18-19 years.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Modern - they've been smitten for awhile, if not the whole time, but we like to torture ourselves with that slow burn best friends to lovers 10K words fanfic. TWD - literally weeks and only knew by each other's voices. It literally breaks me.

How was their first kiss? - MAGICAL. 10/10. Desperation. Chef's Kiss.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Sammy boy

Who is the best man/men? - Modern - hmmmm maybe one of his closest coworkers? His dad?

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - I don't know if she'd have any. Her brother is definitely up there with her

Who did the most planning? - I think El did a lot of the organizing of things, but they did it all together

Who stressed the most? - El, but she just stresses in general. They stressed about different things maybe. I think she stressed most in the beginning and he did getting closer to the wedding.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big. - TWD - But I mean. It might've been tiny, but the church was BEAUTIFUL. Modern - Big, barn-like wedding or maybe at the cabin for that woodsy feel. AH. Beautiful.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Uh....cannibals?

Sex:

Who is on top? - Both, but maybe more Sam xD

Who is the one to instigate things? - Both are guilty in all verses.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head - I mean. RDR. That's all I gotta say.

How long do they normally last? - Depends on how much time they got haha. They're both sprinters and endurance runners hahahaha

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes, but I also don't think they're trying to think about it much.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. - Basically no in between lmao

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children: Modern

How many children will they have naturally? - One - their own personal Aurora Borealis

How many children will they adopt? - Well, they technically adopt a lot of fur babies in Modern haha

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - El, but she doesn't mind. Sam is so good about waking up at night though.

Who is the stricter parent? - I think they both have their moments, but maybe El?

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Hm. HM. Depends on the stunt lol. But probably El. Sam is probably the instigator lol.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - El writes her little notes and makes shapes out of her food. It's basically arts and crafts for lunch.

Who is the more loved parent? - Aurora is such a daddy's girl, but mommy gives the best cuddles.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? I think during the day, it's maybe El since she works at the school or in the area. But, Sam will try if he can get the time off.

Who cried the most at graduation? - They both definitely wiped some tears, El probably wept on the car ride home though. Proud parents.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - I mean. Her dad IS the law. So xD

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Depends. Sam is an incredible cook, and they love cooking together. But, if he's working late, she comes and brings him his favorite or whatever she was experimenting that day.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - I think they're actually both pretty adventurous in their palette. Plus, they literally can't be picky in TWD lol.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Mainly El if it's during the week, but they go together on the weekend or she'll text him to pick up something specific after work.

How often do they bake desserts? - Constantly. Once a week if not more.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Both. Maybe Sam's more of a meat eater, but El is definitely an omnivore.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Equally.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Hm. Depends. When do these two leave their house unless they need to haha. For milestone anniversaries and birthdays, they sometimes travel and road trip to the Redwoods or the beach.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - El, but both can get slightly distracted sometimes when they're cooking.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - El. Blast some music and she'll go at it for hours.

Who is really against chores? - No one is against cleaning per say, but maybe they both would rather stay in bed all day instead.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Sam

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Both have their moments.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - El. Everything has to be perfect or she'll go bezerk.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - I don't know why, I feel like Sam would just be that lucky. But, El would be so excited like she's won the lottery about it.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? -El. Sam is the master of the quick shower, but not when El's around lol.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Sam did! But, when then they made it a habit to take Seamus on a walk together. Pumpkin obviously comes and goes on their own accord.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Every. Single. One. El goes overboard for holiday decorations and projects like that. Every season. All the decor. Probably has a HomeGoods credit card for those coupons.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Perseverance. Intimacy. Never go to bed angry. Communication. To love without effort and love even more when it needs effort.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - EL aka the night owl since she's so used to working late nights. Definitely not a morning person. Sam is fluent in her groans in the morning.

Who plays the most pranks? - Both do definitely in Modern. Maybe even more so when they have Aurora who likes to tag team.

@mettleborn

#mettleborn #sam: tell me the story of how the sun fell in love with the moon #[sam & eloise: desert flowers and dandelions]#would literally die for them

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apeironaxiomaton · 3 years

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2020 in review

tagged by @7rc --thank you, I love doing these kinds of things. and since i always write too much for them, the list is under the cut.

Top 5 movies I saw this year:

Emma. (last film I saw in a theater!)

Roman Holiday (hOW did it take me this long to watch this. how is roman holiday not more embedded as a fanfic au plot trope? a pure delight.)

The Host (went through all the Bong Joon Ho movies I could find after seeing Parasite and this one was my favorite. B-movie but make it art!)

Naussica of the Valley of the Wind / The Castle of Cagliostro / Porco Rosso (As of this year, I’ve watched every Miyazaki movie! all three of the ones I caught up with are great, and I can’t bring myself to choose between them.)

The Hateful Eight (we hooked our laptop up to our stereo to watch this after Liminal Election Week and it was so cathartic to live in a world with different, more visceral problems and to see people in lockdown for a different reason)

Top 5 TV shows I watched this year:

Halt and Catch Fire (I didn’t post much about this show at all when I watched it in June because it was so good that I watched all four seasons in one weekend. Stick with it thru the first season where it’s still just “diet 80s Mad Men and Lee Pace and MacKenzie Davis are there” and you’ll get a show that’s also a stunning mediation on how people you’ve grown apart from can still be part of you even after time changes both of you several times over and what it means to be able to forgive and be forgiven. you’ll feel like you lived a lifetime after finishing this.)

The Simpsons (first nine seasons! this is what I watched over the summer when packing up the apartment I’d lived in for four years)

What We Do in the Shadows (the first season was a great time, but somewhere around the Jackie Daytona episode was when I realized I was watching a masterclass sitcom)

Derry Girls (this was the perfect stress-barricading watch for the first week of quarantine! absolutely sublime.)

Simone Giertz’s youtube channel (loved the consistent experience of being able to watch a cute, talented woman follow the inscrutable exhortations of her soul, especially when those exhortations were things like “make a coffee table out of matches and then light those matches,” “build a robot deer I can hunt with a compound bow” and “build a scissor lamp.” her whole spirit of “yeah, fuck it, I’m just gonna manifest this thing because I want to” is infectious and brought a lot of joy back into covid summer)

Top 5 Songs:

Choose literally any Fiona Apple - Fetch the Bolt Cutters track and insert it here

Fleetwood Mac - “Angel”

Throwing Muses - “Not Too Soon”

Adrienne Lenker - “Anything”

Haim - “Don’t Wanna”

Top 5 Books I Read This Year:

The first four Earthsea books by Ursula Le Guin, with special mentions to The Tombs of Atuan and Tehanu which both gave me the delightful “I am spending a week just living in this book and lapping it down as if it’s water” experience. #tenarhive.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. I was going to describe this novel where pretentious students form a Greek cult and then murder the weak link of the squad as “fun” which seems a little incongruous but like...it’s a taut, perfectly paced thriller and I got to understand the Greek allusions in it and there was some delicious dramatic irony in how the book’s narrated. so yeah, i did have fun with it. it’s fun.

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin. Baldwin can write epigrammatically and that’s how I first encountered him, as a quotation. But the reason he gets quoted is because he makes sure to never simplify his ideas or reduce the world to something less complex than it really is, even when he’s also going for pith and wit. And of course, like all writers, he improves all the more with context. As a Christian, I found his critique of how the church has let itself be used as a tool of white supremacy particularly lucid and helpful.

Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. “Fictional oral history” is such a fun and breezy conceit for a novel and I tore through this one in a day during the first week of quarantine. a lovely little pastiche of some very familiar tropes if you happen to love the archetypes and mythology of popular music and/or are a boomer. this is what is responsible for the Fleetwood Mac.

Pyrrhus and Cineas by Simone de Beauvoir. I leaned on this little essay A LOT for the honors thesis I spent this year writing and reread it three times. It’s such a clever and intriguing discussion of why we bother doing anything at all or why we should choose one goal over another when it all just ends in us dying anyway, which are themes that really hit this year. The last paragraph of the first part always gives me chills.

Top 5 positive things that happened to me in 2020:

this was back in the part of 2020 that isn’t part of 2020, but I had one really fantastic 48 hours back in February where I helped host the speakers my job invited to a philosophy of religion conference, went to two really nice dinners, talked about so many interesting things, and then went on a impromptu outing with an art history major to see a pop art exhibit.

I participated in several different classes and reading groups, mostly organized by two of our professors, that gave me something to do over the year other than doomscroll and vegetate. I read Kafka, Nietzsche, Toni Morrison, Camus, Philip K. Dick, and Foucault for the first time over the course of these and it was a precious gift to have a built-in venue for social interaction when I was stuck in an apartment by myself.

I moved to an apartment in another city with one of my best friends to ride out quarantine together and that decision has been such a boon for my mental health in the back half of this year. finding the place was a nightmare, but it’s in a nice neighborhood that has a beautiful park and a sculpture garden in walking distance and it was wonderful to put up art and make the place our own. it was a refreshing and much needed change in a year when change was hard to come by.

I used online school to go home for thanksgiving for the first time since I moved away and then just stayed for the rest of the holidays. I usually only get three weeks down here on winter break, so it was nice to have a month and a half instead.

I graduated from college! and one silver lining of having no idea what 2021 is going to look like is that I’m forced to take at least a semester break to heal from the burn out instead of automatically starting the application cycle for grad school (although the “oh I have no idea what I’m going to do about grad school” is dawning on me and figuring that out will be a huge part of whatever happens next year).

i feel weird tagging people to think back about this last year now that we’re safely out of it? like don’t go back into 2020, that’s where the 2020 is! but, if you want to, i’m tagging @justthatspiffy @aahsoka @theraisincouncil @cosm-i @letsoulswander and you, if you also wanna revisit this kind of stuff.

#asks #2020

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quarantinebreakup412081121 · 3 years

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Snapchat Response Option 2: This one got lengthy and would definitely not have worked as a snap reply. *shrug*

What an interesting way to say "I know what I'm about to do is hurtful and it's the worst timing possible, and I could put it off a week so that you can enjoy the holidays with your family, but I'm actively choosing to go ahead and do it right now, because I haven't yet quite hurt your feelings enough for my satisfaction, so why not do it again because I'm curious to see how many new and creative ways I can find to hurt you and make you feel worthless. And I want to make sure that you know that despite your years of trying, of putting up with everything I did and being forgiving beyond what I deserved, that I never thought you were worth any effort on my part and that I actively chose not to be better toward you or to try to work on us- even after recent conversations- but I will immediately be a better man for someone else-- who I'm talking to now- even though I fought against communicating with you for the last 4 years. And I want to make sure that I throw it in your face."

Message received, ------, loud and clear. If you had just put 10% of the effort into our relationship that you did into treating me the way you have and are right now... I don't even know. I feel like I've been super understanding with you for the last 6 years and let you slide on pretty much everything. I tried to accommodate anything and everything you wanted to do or say. I tried not to come off as complainy or naggy so I rarely asked you to explain things or tried to broach uncomfortable topics with you- I just suffered silently, got past it on my own, and told myself “that’s how he is, so it’s alright... I love him and there’s a lot of good in this, so it’ll be fine.” I did my best to handle our breakup with some level of grace and didn’t want things to end badly between us, but you could not let it be. And at this point you have pushed me on so many levels and I don’t think you even understand why or how this is hurtful- you probably just see this as “well, I guess she’ll be jealous and a little pissed that I’m seeing someone new already.” That’s actually not it. Well, it is a little bit. I am jealous that this girl is getting respect, attention, and (I assume) some level of kindness. That’s what I wanted- and what I virtually had to beg for for years without receiving much of it- so yeah, I’m jealous and pissed about that.

But the most hurtful part is that I let you walk all over me for years and I took it and I was forgiving and I worked through it. When I did get upset, you got annoyed with me for not being talkative or being available to entertain you when you needed interaction. When I was feeling something or I’d bring something up, you’d usually dismiss me as being dramatic about it. So I stopped. But I still had to process all of those things myself- I just didn’t get to say anything to you about it because it wouldn’t make a difference. When we broke up- you didn’t even show me enough respect to bring to my attention what was bothering you- which doesn’t make sense because I’ve never shut you down the way you shut me down. You just let it sit there and eat at you until you decided you were done. I did the same thing so many times, except I just made myself get past it and then we’d go back to normal. You went through it one time and thought, it’s been 5 years, but she doesn’t get to be upset with me and not reply to my messages in a timely manner (like I do to her all the fucking time)- BREAKUP VIA TEXT. You told me that you weren’t used to being in a relationship and you had lived alone and done things alone for so long and that’s why you weren’t as communicative or affectionate or able to be better about those boyfriend/relationship type things. I accepted that and thought that it would change over time as our relationship developed. I was expecting you to make some type of compromise and show me that you did want to talk to me and that you did care about me as a person and that you liked my personality enough to want to communicate with me regularly- whether on the phone or through text or video chat. It didn’t get better-- as you mention, our communication degraded, a lot. I tried, ------, I really tried-- I would text you all the time, I’d try to find things to talk about with you, but you didn’t want to talk about shows or movies beyond a couple minutes (remember the time that I made a reference to Mean Girls one day and then a couple days later something happened and I made another Mean Girls joke and you basically told me I needed to cool it with the mean girls stuff because that’s all I talk about? Yeah, I made Mean Girls references four times total in probably 3 years, but thanks for shutting me down and making me feel small,) you said you didn’t want to talk about work, when I’d talk about my work, you’d listen sometimes, but there would be very little reaction, so I’d always feel like I was telling a story to someone who didn’t care and was just staying on the line until I finished. For a little while, I thought I’d call you on my way home from work- my commute was taking about twice as long due to detours, so that would be a great time to talk, and you wouldn’t be working during that time, so you’d be available to chat. I’d hoped it would be a better way to connect for us than through text; it might improve our communication and then you’d want to talk to me and text me every day- or at least I’d hoped you would. It was fun at first, but lost its novelty quickly. It frustrated me that you wanted me to be the one to carry the conversations, but you never acted like you wanted to hear about the things I had to say. I was never more self conscious or unsure about myself than I have been during our time together. And even though I put myself through all of that because I cared about you, it wasn’t enough for you.

You couldn’t stand to have regular conversations and communication, but you wanted me to drop everything and move to Charlotte the moment you moved back to NC. Let’s explore this for a minute. You were living in another state, and I saw you one time during the year that you were there. You flew me out and I was so happy to be able to see you after 10 months of being apart. it was for a long weekend, so we only had a few days together. In the airport, as my flight was delayed, I was getting upset that these stupid delays were cutting our time together shorter. Luckily I was able to make it in the same night, not too much later, and I was just so elated to be together again. We made the most of our time together until the last day, when you informed me that you were going into work. I know my flight wasn’t a super late flight- it was sometime in the afternoon- but we would have still had time together in the morning. But you couldn’t take that one additional day from work to spend time with me when this was the only time we would be physically together for well over a year. You drove me out to work with you and I sat in your truck and tried to occupy myself, then when you were there with me, it just felt like we were getting through the next few hours so you could drop me off at the airport. I don’t know how I managed to get you to take so many selfies with me when we were sitting in the truck- using all of those silly snap filters- but I just thought, if we’re limited in what we can do, I want to make as many tangible memories as I can to look at when I get home- to think about us together. I cried when you dropped me off at the airport, you didn’t seem sad to see me go, but you may have been, you were always hard to read.

At the airport, you said “I love you.” That was the second time you ever said it to me. The first time was a couple nights before, in the shower when we were doing... things... As soon as I heard you say it, I wished you hadn’t. Not then, not there. I said it back and hated myself for it and I felt dirty and like the “I love you” was a direct result of physical intimacy- not just from YOU for ME. People get to tell their friends cute stories about the first time they said they loved each other... and I don’t care about the story- even if our ILYs were 10 months apart (though I found out later that you actually knew you loved me a couple months before I said it to you and just didn’t want to say it back for whatever reason...) I don’t have to tell anyone about it to know how I feel, but I could never think back to that without feeling like it was just an “in the moment” thing that you spat out. That may not have been your intention, but I really only ever felt truly wanted by you or attractive to you when we were in, or about to be in, those intimate situations. Anyway- I missed you as soon as I left and wanted to see you again so I started checking into other long weekends and looking up flights so I could get a ticket and come see you again since you’d flown me out the first time. I remember asking you about it a couple of times, and you side stepped it and said you couldn’t get time off or it wouldn’t be doable. I asked if you just didn’t want me to come because it would be too soon for you to want to see me again and you snapped back “why would you ask such a disgusting question?” but never actually answered me. I stopped making attempts to come visit you after that.

So some months pass and it’s the end of the year and you tell me you’re moving back to NC. I literally heard nothing from you about a potential job, or an interview, or you thinking about moving back. Nope. Just that you’re moving back at the end of the year (I think my timeline is right on that) and almost as soon as you moved back, you expected me to drop everything and move out to Charlotte to be there with you. You blindsided me with the recruiter stuff (I would never have done anything like that without speaking to you first) and I spoke to him a couple of times, but at the time, there wasn’t much that would have been a good fit- and I was secretly thankful for that. I didn’t want to be forced into leaving everything I know to move to a new city to be with my boyfriend who could barely bring himself to communicate with me or show interest or love or affection when we were apart. What kind of life would I be stepping into? I’d get to spend my days at a job that may or may not be something I wanted, I’d get home in the evening and maybe you’d be there and maybe you’d be working, I’d spend my weekends with you if you weren’t working or all by myself if you were working. And as much as you worked, even if you were off, we’d probably just end up napping. You work all the time but don’t want to talk to me about work. We watched movies and TV together but couldn’t really hold a conversation about those; you wouldn’t even finish watching the series we started so we could talk about it. I asked you probably ten times and then stopped. I was doing my best to provide you with an easy conversation topic. I hadn’t yet found something that I could talk to you about that you’d truly want to engage with and actually show interest in. So I thought, you’re closer now, let’s keep up the talking, let’s see if you can work your way out of “being alone and not knowing how to be in a relationship” and if I see that you can show me that you care, or you’re making an effort at least, then I’ll know it’s safe for me to make plans to move closer to you because I will have support from you and we can really be our own little family unit. But you didn’t. I came to visit you and brought you a cookware set because when we’d tried to cook something before, you didn’t have much to work with so I thought this would be something useful for you that we could open up and use to cook together when I visited. You put it aside and when I asked about it, you laughed and said there was no point in opening it because you were just going to save it for when you moved again. You were here for less than a month, you were closer to me for less than a month, I was there with you, and you were already planning to leave me again? Months later and the cookware set sat there unpacked, along with most of your apartment. Visiting you at your apartment was pleasant in that I got to see you, but very unpleasant constantly having it shoved in my face that you were going to be gone again at any moment and I wouldn’t find out until it was already done and you were in the process of actually moving. That stressed me out and I did what I could to enjoy what time we did have together. I wasn’t making any plans to move because you couldn’t stay in one place long enough for me to. Charlotte ended up lasting quite a while- and had I known you wouldn’t be skipping off somewhere else within the next few months, it may have been different. But for me, when a few months passed, I was just waiting to see if the next few months would bring a new job or a move. And that’s how I saw it. No boxes ever unpacked, no cookware ever used, no plan to even think about settling down, so at any moment, I’d get another “I’m moving to *****” text from you.

And then later on down the line, you tell me you’re moving back home because as much as you travel for work, it’s not worth paying rent in Charlotte if you’re rarely there. I just said okay. I just said okay because I didn’t know how to react or what to say or what I should say or what I COULD say or what might upset you or what you might want to hear. But I wanted to say that even though we hadn’t seen each other a lot lately, at least we were in the same state and something about that was comforting, and I knew that if work ever slowed down for you, I could make trips out to see you more, but now that would be an impossibility. I wanted to say that now with your new job being one that allowed you to live anywhere in the world as long as you were close enough to an airport, I was hoping that you’d stick with Charlotte- if it was a job you saw yourself in for the long term- because that would mean I finally had a little bit of the certainty I was looking for with you. I didn’t say any of this to you because you’d made your decision and told me about it in a very matter of fact way and it was done. I went home and cried knowing that it was very, very likely that when you parked in front of my mailbox and I kissed you goodbye before you drove off- that’s the last time I’d ever see you again. And now I know that it was.

The last time we went to the beach together, we had lunch with one of your old work friends. I always enjoyed meeting up with him and his girlfriend because they both seemed really nice. The last time it was just us and him. It was still alright, but I could have probably skipped out and nobody would have known the difference. You guys talked the whole time, which was great, you needed to catch up, but everything you were saying was new to me. There was something about (I think) a certification you had to get or renew and some sketchiness that was going on with it and I just thought- this is interesting, this is a big deal, this was a whole thing- why did you never bring this up? Why did you never talk to me about it? I know that I don’t understand the exact ins and outs of your job to talk to you in a way that would be truly meaningful, but big picture stuff like this is definitely something conversation worthy. I listened because I knew this was one of the times I’d hear you talk the most and while it was good to hear you tell your story, it just fucking sucked to see you chat away so easily with someone else in a way that you couldn’t bring yourself to talk with me.

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I dealt with a boyfriend who rarely communicated with me because he said he didn't like to talk. I let him ignore me through written and verbal communication. I told myself it was okay if he snarked back with something condescending or a look of disgust because I just needed to watch what I was saying- maybe what I was saying was stupid? I let him brush me off as "ridiculous" too many times to count. I let him treat my anxiety like something that was an overreaction and that could be quick fixed with a dog snuggle. He made me feel embarrassed about my anxiety/depression. And he's probably seeing the d-word in this context for the first time because during 5 years together I never felt safe enough with him to be honest about that- and because I figured he'd probably just tell me not to be dramatic and to watch a comedy and it'd be fine. He never asked me what I needed or if he could do anything for me when I was feeling down. I went out of my comfort zone for him because I wanted to do activities that he enjoyed and do things to make him happy; he rarely reciprocated. He never kissed me hello- ever- not in 5 years. I don't think he actually liked kissing me- like really enjoyed it... we only really kissed when we were doing other things... coming from him, it felt (to an extent) more like an obligatory part he was just doing to humor me... so I chalked it up to not being good at it- or at least not bringing him enjoyment. He rarely said he loved me-- he said that I'd have to “earn it.” He literally said those words. Clearly the "I love yous" weren't genuine expressions of affection and I learned that long ago. But I still told myself it was okay. Love looks different for everyone, right? I heard him use a fucking racial slur right in front of me in our third month of dating- I was horrified but pretended I didn't hear it because we'd only just returned from a trip to Disney- which had been about 75% positive (see previous Animal Kingdom post for examples) so I kept it to myself and buried that memory deep because I was so embarrassed that I was ignoring one of my top deal breakers- for any relationship in life. I remember exactly where it happened (sometimes it still pops into my mind when I switch lanes in that intersection on my way home from grocery shopping) and thank god that the driver he yelled it at didn't hear him. To this day, even months after our breakup, I've never told anyone about that because I'm so horribly ashamed of myself for not immediately condemning that behavior and exiting the relationship at that moment- or at the very least, called him on his shit, then maybe he would have recognized that what he did was wrong? I didn’t call him on anything- ever. During the last year, I jokingly tried to point out when he was being evasive or obtuse or condescending, but it all blew over as solely a joke and nothing changed. These are the types of things that degraded my feelings of self worth and of confidence in myself, and had me bending to his whim a lot of the time because it was easier and it seemed like the only way to sustain things. That was over 5 years ago. One year ago, one of the last times I saw him, he actively got out of his car and bitched at two older women who were backing out from a parking space but didn't realize he was there. As they continued to back out, he could have stopped, or easily backed up a little himself, to give them room because they clearly weren't aware of us being there- maybe they were distracted- but it wasn't intentional. I told him to wait. Nope, he continued to ease up and was going to let them hit him if they continued to back up. Then when they saw him, they stopped and got out of their car to make sure no contact was made between their car and his his truck and he immediately went off at them. I heard him say "get the fuck out of here" to them and I immediately wanted to disappear. What incredibly disrespectful behaviour. If a collision had happened and cops got involved, I don't even know what I would have done. It was easily avoidable, and he lacked passion in every other area, but he was ready to go off in that moment over, what? A couple ladies who made an honest mistake? About an hour after that, he thought it would be funny to ditch me in the bookstore and not tell me where he was when I texted him to meet back up. After twenty minutes of him knowing where I was and intentionally having me walk around looking for him like an idiot, my frustration and anxiety prompted me to leave and go into another store. He had driven us there and I was in the process of texting my brother to come pick me up, but then he showed up with a smile on his face. At this moment, I'm realizing that I don't think I saw him genuinely smile/laugh like that very often. But I guess embarrassing and stressing me out is one of the things that did the trick for him, so that might explain things... we were supposed to go shopping around a bit just as something to do, but after that we just headed back to the room and watched TV and napped. That was most of our time together, dark room, tv, nap. When we started dating, I remember both of us staying up late to talk- until 3 or 4 in the morning. We'd both go into work tired, but it was worth it. I don't know when the novelty of our relationship wore off for him. But considering that we spent so little time together, it didn't take long at all.

I made a lot of allowances for his behavior that I shouldn't have. But I never brought any of it up because he would have just shut me down and nothing would have been accomplished. And we did have some good times, so why rock the boat? When we did go out, he usually paid for our meals; I paid a small handful of times throughout the years, but had stopped offering pretty early on because I knew he loved money and I thought that if he was willing to part with money for me, it somehow meant that he cared about me in a way that he wasn't showing. One day we went to ihop for breakfast on our way home from the beach and when he didn't like an answer I gave- or rather my avoidance in answering something he was asking about, he sat back and had me pay the check. I had no issue with paying- after all, he paid all the time- but this wasn't a, "you got this, babe?" This was an intentional, "If you're going to be like this, I'm not buying this breakfast." I'd happily pay for every meal with no complaint, but when it's thrust on me with that undertone- no. And yet, I paid, acted like I wasn't bothered at all, and we drove home (roughly couple hours) in mostly silence-- even though we hadn't seen each other in months and we'd only been together a few days. The question he asked was about me moving. He rarely spoke to me, we only communicated through text when we did talk (which was not even every day- sometimes I'd go days without a reply) and he decided he was bored with living alone and wanted me to be in the area so that when he wanted to see me, I'd be readily available. I'd have to drop everything and everyone I know to go there to be there for him- but only when he wasn't traveling for work or when he felt like seeing me. I can't be the only person who doesn't see this as a fair exchange. But because I was hesitant about moving before I saw that he could be committed to me in a more serious and affectionate way, he was annoyed.

There were times when he's seemingly out of nowhere want to chat a lot or expect fast and frequent responses from me, which typically was the way I communicated- frequent and wordy chatting, but not with him anymore. These usually correlated with times when he was traveling for work and he was working with other guys who would talk about their wives or families. Then for a brief time, I'd seemingly matter as much to him as me mattered to me. I knew what he was doing, I'm not stupid, but I let it slide. I remember bringing up that I didn't get good morning or goodnight texts from him. I used to... During our first month of dating... But he said something to the effect of him not having time and only wanting to text when he actually wanted to- so why would I want a text like that if it's just for the sake of sending a text and not genuine? That was the day he let me know that greeting his girlfriend in the morning and wanting to be at least one of the last people she hears from/thinks about at night is something he consciously did not want to do. I've never known a good morning text, that would brighten someone else's day, to take more than half a minute-- even for a slow typer. But yeah he never had time for me-- and by time- I mean maybe 15 minutes per day- less if something out of the ordinary is happening. I wanted it to be a half and half thing- and he managed it for a few days then I kept it up, then I couldn't keep doing it feeling like I was saying good morning to a person who read it with uncaring eyes. He'd drop off of a conversation and I'd come back in to say "sleep well!" or "have a good night- talk in the morning?" and after a handful of times it just becomes emotionally draining and embarrassing. Embarrassing because I'm actively trying and he's actively doing the opposite. But the moment he wanted to talk- for whatever reason, the few times it did happen- I was expected to drop everything and talk to him until he got his fill. He never said this in words- but his reactions were always very telling.

I wonder why he tried so hard when we first met. We went on a date and I was going to call it quits after that. But he was persistent beyond persistent. We went on a second date and I was still in "I don't think I care to date" mode. But he still persisted. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend and I pretended I didn’t hear him the first time. Then later that day he asked again and I don’t even know how I brushed it off. He pushed and I thought, he's nice- he's being nice and he seems like a nice guy- so why am I resisting? So I did it, I said yes. And maybe it was the chase that made me appealing to him... And then as soon as he locked down the relationship status... And other things that I'd always promised I wouldn't do until I was in love and with someone who loved me... I was old news... Just another girl in the series of girls who he'd been involved with romantically. Right now that's exactly what I am. Just another girl. Just a girl. Just a girl who gave everything of herself while receiving a sliver of him in return. Just a girl who got too invested and put too much faith in him and allowed herself to love him and foolishly think that he could really be there for her and would care about her and her feelings and well being. Just a girl whose multiple passions in life were all seen as insignificant and silly and childish. Just a girl who he obliterated emotionally and walked away without a second thought.

No- that's not true... He did apologize, and start communicating in the way I wished he had always done, and I thought, wow, maybe it really just took some time and now things will be better. Maybe if this communication keeps up, we can both be more open with each other and have a real, healthy friendship. And then down the road, maybe things will be mended enough and there may be a shot of doing the relationship thing right if things align for both of us-- or not, but at least we’ll be on good terms. But then I find out that he's talking to someone. And everything falls into place. The improved communication- residual from what he's doing for her. The new found lol's and haha's and emojis and overall more pleasant demeanor- residual from what he's doing for her. None of it was for me, none of it was ever for me or ever intended to make me feel better. It was a way for him to shake off some of the microscopic guilt he's feeling so he can drop me and still feel good about himself despite everything he did to me. He gets to crush me again and again and then walk away feeling like the good guy in all of this. The (recent) conversations where he sometimes got flirty and asked me about the things we did together that I liked and didn't like-- all research for what to do with the new girl. The new interest he seemed to show in me as a person, as a friend who he had a deep history with, like he cared... I don't know what to attribute that to. Probably easier to do that than to have to switch between being the charming guy routine with whoever he's talking to and then going back to being the person he truly wants to be toward me

But he made sure he crushed me in the most malicious and way possible one last time- and he threw the words at me as apathetically as ever. God forbid we actually work things out and resolve the issues we had to get some substantial closure. Why he had such a problem with me, I'll never be able to understand. I did my best and I felt like we were compatible- or at least could continue to be compatible if both of us were trying-- and wanted to try. I wanted to try... I always wanted to try, and I think, to an extent, recently, I still wanted to try until I got that message. Glutton for punishment, I guess.

Anyway here's a fun list since this is what’s on my mind now and I’m beyond the point of no return so let’s go.

Things I can list off the top of my head that I'm either certain or fairly certain he didn't/doesn't like about me or doing with me based on his behavior:

-my love for Disney

-when I wear black nail polish

-the jewelry I wear (too much, apparently)

-the movies I like

-the shows I like

-the fact that I own a lot of purses (they're my favorite accessory)

-that I'm too nice to people (and I guess a pushover who doesn't stand up for myself according to him... and this is true about me not being able to stand up to him, but I don’t think that’s how he meant it)

-that I care about dates like Christmas, my birthday, our anniversary, and Valentine's Day and that I think they should be acknowledged (I’m not even an “expensive presents” type of girl- I just want to see that some thought was put into things)

-my size (there have been subtle comments and opting for no dessert with dinner or telling me that I should order the appetizer version instead of the entree version of things... So whether or not he was doing it intentionally, his feelings were made known through those occurrences. I get it, I’m not skinny minnie, like a lot of girls, I struggle with getting the perfect body, but I’m not like freaking obese or anything- although my self conscious meter for this is always off the charts so I don’t need any help with it!)

-my hair when it is shorter (the shortest I ever had it was maybe shoulder length... but he preferred it long while I like it better a bit shorter. He had told me that his last gf wouldn’t “let him” cut his hair... I never had any intention of telling him what he could or couldn’t do with his hair or anything else- but he made it clear that he was going to do whatever he wanted with his hair-- cool, no big deal. But then he’d slip in the jokey-but-not-so-jokey comments about how I shouldn’t cut my hair, or he’d avoid responding when I’d send a pic of my new haircuts. He said he liked my hair ONE time. It was in the last year of our relationship when I had started to check out emotionally because he had just been pushing me and pushing me and when I got to a point where I was almost broken, he started being uncharacteristically nice and sweet toward me because I’m sure he could sense me shutting down.)

-the way my bangs parted (minus just a few other times, the only time he ever touched my hair was to shift my bangs because he said they made me look like I had a unibrow. Though, in fairness, he only did this once, I think... the rest of the times, he just told me to move my hair, like, it was legitimately bothering him. It felt so warm and fuzzy to know he couldn’t stand sitting across from me at dinner with me looking so hideously disgusting...

-my culture (he never ate food my family cooked- or wanted to try it. He did eat turkey burgers that my mom made one time and didn't like that... He untagged himself from photos of us at a temple that we visited once- as tourists- not even in a religious capacity, and when I was going to buy an icee type drink from the little Indian shop nearby, he said I shouldn't get one- “at least not from there.” He said that he untagged it because there were so many pictures of us together already... message received, too much of me on your facebook page is no good... but there were multiples of us at the baseball game he took me to and he could have untagged one of those *shrug*)

-that I take too many photos (I like to have tangible ways of holding onto memories. When my uncle passed away when we were first dating, I regretted the lack of photos we had together. They were all I had left of him and it hurt my heart that I didn’t have much to look back on. The same thing happened a few years later when another close family friend- whom we also called Uncle- passed away unexpectedly. I hunted and managed to find about ten photos of him and the dogs, but that’s all I have. Oh, and also his empathy is seriously lacking- I got more heartfelt messages from acquaintances when those events happened. And I just wanted little pieces of us to have with me all the time, because I fucking loved him and missed him when we weren’t together.)

-that I want to take photos with him (he would reluctantly let me, but he didn't like taking pics with me and it was very apparent)

-skyping me (he bought a laptop to Skype me when he moved and I think we chatted four times or so and within fifteen minutes each time he was already losing interest and only half paying attention- even though I was doing the thing he wanted me to do- talking enough for the both of us)

-my enthusiasm for pretty much anything (he never said the words, but my excitement or enthusiasm for things was almost always looked down on and I ended up stifling a lot of that because I got embarrassed that I was behaving in a way I shouldn't)

-texting me (I can’t even.)

-talking to me on the phone

Okay so maybe the list isn't very fun after all.

#quarantine #quarantine breakup #breakup #love #loss #mourning #breakup text #heartbreak #heartache

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dansnaturepictures · 4 years

Photo

My photos that I’ve chosen to go on my 2021 wildlife calendar: Cover & January-September with some thoughts on each of the photos

Just over a month ago I tweeted the lineup of photos that I’ve taken that I’ve chosen to go on my 2021 wildlife photos calendar. To those who don’t know I make two calendars for personal use and as my Christmas present each year, one from my wildlife photos another from my landscape and other outdoor photos. I make the calendars in August or September each year and leave it up to my family after that to order the calendars via the website we use, wrap up at the appropriate time etc. Its evolved that I finalise and reveal on social media the lineups for these between late April and June. There are many reasons for this and a key one being the hot, busy and long evenings/weekend mornings of summer are not a great time to be sat at my laptop choosing photos and looking at quality comparisons between photos I’ve taken. I wouldn’t want to be in a position of choosing them in September as I’d just worry if certain things come up I may not be able to get the calendars chosen in the right time frame for them to be made in time for Christmas. With other things happening in the build up to Christmas for me and the time between September and Christmas flying by every year it seems it just makes sense to get the calendar line up choosing done and dusted in the spring for them to be made in late summer/autumn and ordered in time to be my Christmas presents.

That does then mean the photos I have chose from are any I took within about a year from spring to spring. So for example, the photos in contention for my 2021 calendars were ones I took from spring 2019 until spring 2020. I now operate a system of variety quotas of what types of pictures I want within the 13 pictures (cover and one for each month) of mine making the calendar. As part of that, using the example of my 2021 calendars, five photos on each calendar must have been taken in 2019 and five photos on each calendar must have been taken in 2020. This just makes it fair to ensure both years’ worth of photos that have fed into my selection process are represented on the calendar. So below are my Cover and January-September photos on this calendar, ordered in appearance in this photoset by their month. Below I shall say what and where each one is, when it was taken and a little bit about why I was happy to take it/its journey onto my calendar.

I must confess I wrote this up the day after I finalised this calendar line up in late April (the choosing was sped up a little by the lockdown this year and the time I had on my hands because of that and with the amount of photos I take really increasing in 2019 and 2020 to previous years I had much higher amounts of photos to choose from so felt I had to really progress my choosing a lot in April to get it all done in time)

Cover: One of my favourite birds the Guillemot on Staple Island, Farne Islands, Northumberland, taken June 2019

Another reason I chose the calendar final lineups about now is because often in June we have our main holiday for the year which very often involves many photos with lots of wildlife up close and top views so for both calendars I don’t want them to be swamped by one holiday’s photos to give lots of photos at local and further afield places a chance. That can easily happen if when doing the final choosing I am still within the buzz of the many holiday photos not long after they were taken, so photos from a holiday in June 2019 say having to wait until the year after next for their chances to be on a calendar allows me to refine the choices and identify what was my strongest photos from that trip. That being said, six photos from my Northumberland holiday for the Farne Islands last June have made this calendar. This is because it was one of my greatest photography weeks ever, and this picture of a Guillemot sums up the sorts of once in a blue moon opportunities I had to take these types of close up and intimate photos with my very favourite creatures. I like how this one looks good in the sun bringing out the Guillemot’s brilliant colours. Its not only a Guillemot but a bridled one too with the ring and mark around the eye not something too common on coasts down here but there were many in Northumberland’s colonies so I was proud I could capture this in this way. When deciding my cover if felt natural to put a Northumberland one there with many of them on the calendar only one could actually represent the month they were taken in June and this felt like a natural photo to be the face of this calendar for me.

January: Bewick’s Swan, WWT Slimbridge in Gloucestershire taken in January 2020

The Slimbridge trip away to start this year also features multiple times on this calendar, this Bewick’s Swan photo taken on my birthday was one I was so proud of and brings a great closeup but not really needing sun to make it memorable vibe.

February: Woodpigeon, WWT Slimbridge, taken January 2020

Features of the calendars I’ve made for wildlife the last couple of years have been handing places to photos of species that have never featured on my calendars before; Fox, Arctic Tern and Green Hairstreak among this year’s examples. But so also is Woodpigeon, a species I’ve photographed so much over the last couple of years and this one was such a memorable one for me I really like the colours especially the purple chest feathers and I think this one will look good printed. Common species can make what I feel are strong photos too.

March: Robin, Blashford Lakes, Hampshire, taken in March 2020

An obvious choice for the calendar. At the time of writing this its without doubt the most pleasing photo in my view that I’ve taken with my new camera so far that I got in January. I’ve rarely taken photos like this for detail and it captures such an intimate moment with an iconic species. It was literally the first photo on the calendar that was taken in 2020 when the time was right to start to selections I knew it was going on.

April: Green Hairstreak, Magdalen Hill, Hampshire, taken April 2020

This photo is a week old as I write this and its taken me by storm to reach this calendar within seven days of being taken. Yes the timing was good with me into the very final stages of getting this lineup at this point, but I had to be happy enough with it for it to make it. Its one of the best butterfly pictures I’ve ever taken I think, like the Robin without doubt right now the best butterfly photo or photo all together that I’ve taken with my new macro lens that I also got in January. It sums up perfectly the detail I can get with this macro lens and type of picture I want to take with it. It displaced provisionally qualified photos to get on this calendar which shows how much I love it.

May: Another of my favourite birds the Razorbill on the Farne Islands, Northumberland taken June 2019

This was a dark horse as one of the unsung photos of my big Northumberland seabird trip. However in the selecting at all the stages I just appreciated how much I liked this photo and it just seemed to look stronger and stronger to me every time I looked at it, a personal choice I was glad I could make.

June: Arctic Tern, Inner Farne, Farne Islands, Northumberland from June 2019

Compared to trips to Skomer Island and Bempton Cliffs which have had many photos get onto the calendars they fed into in previous years the Farnes had something different, the terns. These Arctic Terns the standout bit of the trip walking through the colony and having them divebomb you so I just really wanted to include an Arctic Tern photo from that trip in this calendar if I could as I knew many of the photos from that time away would be candidates. This one got there on quality merit regardless of its species I feel. But it was another dark horse, at the time of the trip I did not pick this out as my favourite Arctic Tern photo of the trip of the lovely extensive set I took of this a new bird for me at the time on two visits to Inner Farne where the colony is. It soon became apparent it was though as I chose it for my “4 of my favourite ....” (pictures in categories tweets) on my Twitter Dans_Pictures in 2019 in December in a special unqique feature of the year category about the seabirds on that trip and I still loved it enough to carry it onto the calendar for next year.

July: Brown Argus butterfly, Lakeside Country Park, Hampshire, taken in July 2019

One of my quotas as a big chunk of my wildlife photography is I must have at least one butterfly on the calendar. I am proud this one remained, despite very nearly missing out once the Green Hairstreak was on the scene (another early 2020 butterfly picture had to make way in the end), to represent my butterfly pictures of 2019 which were taken during my greatest ever butterfly year with more species seen than I ever did etc. This is another new species for one of my calendars this lovely butterfly I am getting to really like the last few years. It was one of a batch of my very favourite butterfly pictures taken last year in terms of quality and symbolised one of my best butterfly moments of 2019 as I saw it during a booming ‘Big Butterfly Count’ survey for Butterfly Conservation one Saturday morning. This photo holds so many memories of that summer day which is perfect for a calendar for me I feel. The lockdown has led to many of my strongest photos being so locally to me taken and this is an example of one I took locally under normal circumstances last year.

August: Another of my favourite birds the Kittiwake at Seahouses, Northumberland from June 2019

This is a second calendar of mine in a row for wildlife to include a Kittiwake after a Bempton Cliffs one taken in 2018 made my 2020 wildlife calendar (It got June as its month so today I turned over the calendar to see it in fact!). But this Kittiwake picture had to be on my calendar for one simple reason beyond everything else, of the photos I took between spring 2019 and spring 2020 this was what I felt was the best one of a bird in flight out of a strong field I must say. I like flying bird photos so much I say at least one must appear on the calendar. So sometimes putting aside species that appeared here and there on past calendars of mine it really is that simple to pick pictures. This photo shows an integral part of the journey I am on really getting to love and know this favourite bird of mine more and more over the last few years. It couldn’t be on the month for the one it was taken as the Arctic Tern took June but I just had to have it for August with that blue sky even if you might not see one that month as its so summery.

September: Fox at Titchfield Haven in Hampshire taken in September 2019

Another easy choice for the calendar. This was one of my most magical moments in wildlife watching and photography and the photo was that photo of the species that I might never match again. I just longed for a photo and a chance to be so close to this species I scrambled to get the right lens on to get the photo when the moment came my first Fox of 2019 in fact with the Fox looking right in at us in the hide such an intimate moment with a wonderful species and I managed it, on a variable day for weather that patch of early autumnal sun just came out at the right moment to set this picture up well. With this one I admit there are shortcomings maybe bits of the photo that could have been done better but its one of those I get that I overlook them and I just get them on the lineup this was among the first few photos I chose to go on because I want to see it printed.

In half an hour I do a post with the photos on this calendar for October, November and December and introduce five reserve photos that didn’t quite make the calendar in case I need them.

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eottoghe · 5 years

Text

Little Boxes - Thirteen

A Jeonghceol Domestic AU where they live in suburbia with their six year old son Chan. Jeonghan is an active member of the PTA, a soccer dad and chauffeur, and a supportive parent all around. His loving husband cares deeply for his passions and will follow him to the end of the world if it keeps him and his family happy. Follow their journey as they get caught up in fun and zany adventures when they fall outside of the guide lines of your average neighbor. Don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I want to see how many different domestic prompts I can get out of this AU before I run out of steam.

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

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It’s Monday. Chan usually doesn’t like Mondays all that much because they mean having to restart his routine of waking up too early and sitting through reading time for what seems like foreeeever. There’s no Saturday morning cartoons on Mondays and no Seungcheol-appa to cuddle with on the couch while they eat Cocoa Pebbles. But today is a special Monday. Why?

Because he is officially turning seven years old today!

He doesn't feel any different. Not yet anyway. But he's excited, nonetheless. He likes holidays. All kinds of holidays because most of them only come once a year. And this is the one time a year he gets a holiday all to himself.

At school, Jeonghan shows up right before lunch time with two rectangular boxes nestled close to his chest and a red tote bag hanging off his shoulder. The classroom instantly goes mum at the spectacle before them, thrilled whispers and inconspicuous glances being passed around the room. They know the drill.

They’re all getting really good at math so they can easily spot the solution to this equation. If they sang Happy Birthday to Chan at the start of the class and his parent comes to the classroom during lunch time, then the boxes in his hands must be cupcakes! It happens often enough for them to know, but the excitement never really wears off.

“I can help you, Mr. Choi!”

“No, me!”

“I can get the napkins!”

The kids jump at the opportunity to help hand out the goodies. It’s a great feeling because Jeonghan knows in a few years, it’ll be torture just asking for a simple chore to get done. For now, he revels in the kindness that they exude and smiles the same gentle smile that won them over during the first fundraiser event he’d helped with.

Chan gets out of his seat, running to his dad. He hugs his thighs and Jeonghan has to re-balance himself to make sure the cupcakes don’t go flying due to the sheer magnitude of the impact. Chan showing public affection? He’s put aside his childhood bravado just for this sweet moment and Jeonghan couldn’t be more soft for it.

“Please stay in your seats. I’ll choose a couple of you to hand out napkins and Mr. Choi and I will pass out the cupcakes.” Their teacher calls out to the class. Chan is reluctant to pull away but thinks about getting a red sticker on his birthday. He would hate hate hate getting a red sticker any day for not listening and even more if its on this day so he scurries off to his table and plops back down in his mustard yellow, plastic seat. He is beaming at his dad with rose dusted cheeks as his classmates say happy birthday to him and high five him from where they sit. He loves the attention even if he still gets shy sometimes.

Once they’re back settled and the two designated helpers pass out all of the napkins to each kid, Jeonghan and the teacher divide and conquer. Jeonghan was smart and decided to purchase cupcakes that were as uniform as possible. He knows how picky kids can be and wanted to avoid arguments over who got what.

Chan gets first pick though and his table is glad to have the birthday boy in their assigned group because that means they get next pick. Jeonghan and the teacher go table by table, weaving between the chattering children bouncing in their chairs. The chirped thank you’s rang out in high pitched squeals as they dug into the sugary sweet cupcakes, blue frosting staining their tongues. (Probably the best kind of treats are ones that can be shown off by their visual residue).

As they eat and talk amongst themselves, Chan’s teacher starts up a conversation with Jeonghan standing shoulder to shoulder, looking out across the classroom. “Thank you for coming in today. The kids just seem to adore you, Mr. Choi.” The teacher is a bit new and exultant in her teaching methods. She hasn’t been beaten down by the hardships that come along with the job yet so every moment she sees the kids smile is a win in her book.

“I do my best. I love kids. In another life, I could see myself as a teacher at a school like this one.” He laughs to himself thinking about how completely exhausted he’d be with small aged children filling up every corner of his life. It’s not much different from now only he doesn’t have to deal with the responsibility that accompanies teaching at a public school.

“I could see that too. Chan is always talking about you and your partner like you’re the best things that ever happened to him. We’re so lucky to have Chan and you both as his supporters. He’s got lots of friends here and he’s such a cheerful kid.”

Jeonghan, try as he may, is unable to stop the proud smile from spreading across his reddening face. He feels his ears tingle, looking at the ground to avoid the eyes of the grateful woman.

“Thank you. I feel secure with him in your care.” He nods his head in mutual appreciation. He definitely doesn’t pop in to the classroom nearly as much as he did in the beginning of the year when he couldn’t trust any teacher to govern over his one and only child for such a significant portion of the day. He thinks she’s done well.

She reminds the class that they should RSVP to Chan’s birthday party by tomorrow after Jeonghan mentions it in their casual talk. She also gives her thanks to Jeonghan for giving an invite to every kid as feeling left out in this age is such a saddening thing to see on a child’s face. Invitations were handed out a week ago and Chan was happy to report that everyone seemed eager.

They close out the mini celebration with Chan being wished happy birthday one more time in a cacophonous harmony. Jeonghan kneels and gives him a quick kiss on his forehead before the now seven-year-old decides it’s too embarrassing. The extra cupcakes are left for the other teachers Chan might want to share with and Jeonghan hands over some extra hand sanitizer bottles and tissues he bought for the classroom. The teacher thanks him once more and he’s off.

Chan still has a couple hours left of school so he decides to stop by a Michael’s craft store to avoid the drive back home just to turn around and fight traffic back. There’s still shopping to do for the vast decorations he has yet to gather. He was so inspired, he even made a moodboard from various Pinterest posts he’d come across. Chan wanted a Jurassic Park theme and it allowed Jeonghan to let his creativity set sail.

He’d picked up the plates, cups, and utensils all in a convenient party pack from Party City along with table cloths and enough supplies to craft some pretty kick ass goodie bags. What he’s most excited about though is the zookeeper outfits they’d come across. It took lots of asking around, but they’d found some. The adult size was definitely going to fit Seungcheol better than himself (He was biased. He thought Seungcheol was smoking in everything he wore), but it worked out well enough that when they all stood together, they looked like they were off on an expedition, slashing through vines and palm fronds deep in the jungle. Chan loved it (He was biased. He loved everything).

He’d also already ordered the “party hats”. Of course, they weren’t any regular party hats. If Jeonghan had been any regular person or a part of any regular family then maybe he would have done the regular thing. BUT he’s Yoon Jeonghan and decided that the “party hats” would in fact be Safari hats and made sure to order them in bulk early.

So now he’s pushing a cart through the crowded aisles of Michael’s with Jisoo balanced between his head and his shoulder, speaking animatedly through his cell phone.

“You invited the entire class and the soccer team?” Josh stresses. He wishes Jeonghan would have mentioned the number of expected guests before he signed on for this project.

“It’s not that bad. Not everyone will show up. You know how these things go.” Jeonghan shrugs his shoulder as if the other can see him, brushing off his questioning tone. He’s cutting his eyes back and forth between two very different styles of leaves. Leaves larger than his head surround him in the plastic flowers section. He picks up a handful of both under the guise that the jungle has many different types of plants. He doesn’t have to be climatically accurate. These children won’t be able to tell the difference when they’re maxed out on sugar.

“It’s Valentine’s weekend. Literally everyone is coming because parents are going to dump them for a few hours of alone time.”

“Oh… I forgot to get Valentine cards for the class. Thanx for the reminder.” Jeonghan answers, his mind drifting a few aisles down to where he remembers inflated, pink balloons and mega stuffed teddy bears. He considers getting one for Seungcheol. Seungcheol’s a lot softer than he looks.

“Hannie… This is going to be really expensive… Seungcheol does know all that you’ve planned right?”

“Yah! Stop scolding me. I’m a grown man.” Jeonghan feigns exasperation, but he bursts into a fit of giggles before he can finish. “It’s fine. I’ve been saving up. And don’t try and turn my husband against me. He’s very much so on board with me…” He mumbles after, “…sort of.”

“So on top of helping you set up, you’re calling me in to babysit too.”

“It’ll be fun. Your daughter and Chan can have a play date while we get ready and she’ll pretty much babysit herself at the party. It’ll be great.”

~~~~

Great is an understatement.

From the front of their home, much isn’t revealed to the expectant children being dropped off. In fact, the house is still difficult to find due to the 50 other ones built with the exact same model. What sets it apart are the shiny apple red and onyx black balloons tied to the mailbox and the sign hanging on the door saying, “Welcome to Jurassic Park”.

The kids are met at the door by Jeonghan (the responsible one who is actually paying attention to the doorbell) and are led through the simple living room, hopping along plastic dinosaur tracks that are set out. The sliding door leading to the backyard is opaque, covered in a dark backdrop, obscuring the view to the party happening just on the other side. But they can hear music and laughter and the anticipation balls up and rolls through their tummies.

When the door finally draws opens, it attracts them in like a beacon, beckoning forth the tiny adventurers into the wonderful world of dinosaurs. Joshua stands at the entryway with safari hats to hand out. It’s such a funny thing to see the kids blank, sensory spasms making it hard to decide what to avert their attention to first.

There’s greenery everywhere and it truly feels like their own little contained jungle. Wooden planks jut out on display with caution tape strategically draped over them; the fraying at the tips looks like they’d been ripped through. Beware posters tie in the setting.

A table is filled with snacks and foods all made to fit the theme. White chocolate covered pretzels transform into dinosaur bones, doughnut holes dusted with sugar mimic unhatched eggs. Pudding cups with dirt-like, cookie crumbles sprout miniscule palm trees and the tiniest dinosaur figurines. And there’s chicken nuggets! There’s a tyrannosaurus and brachiosaurus and some other saurus they still can’t pronounce. Seungcheol has the grill going and the smoke makes it look like a volcano has erupted in the background.

And is that… a bounce house? In the backyard?!?!

(Jeonghan may or may not have rented that one without Seungcheol’s knowledge but when the crew came knocking to set it up, there was little he could do to argue about it.)

And yes, Jeonghan will admit he outdid himself this time, but he was damn proud of his work. They all were impressed. “You should consider party planning. This looks great!”, his husband said in awe when he’d seen the finish product of Jeonghan’s creation. But with great power comes great responsibility. And responsibility brought big headaches.

The night before, he got the minimum amount of sleep preparing. Everyone helped, but once it got late, he coerced them into bed while his hyperactive, perfectionist mind fussed over the most minute details. He’d ended up finishing the goodie bags, creating labels for the food and pre-made all the snacks he could get away with. He’d hit the bed at around 4 a.m. and woke up hours later to get the backyard ready. On top of mild sleep deprivation, the inevitable over protective side of him resurfaced as the children ran freely, playing make believe. He was stressed™.

“You look like you need a nap.” Joshua sidles up next to him, poking his cheek.

“I just want everything to be perfect.” He admits with a sigh and a tired smile.

Joshua pans over the immaculate scene of their movie-set-ready layout. Seungcheol cooking on the grill as he nods along to the music, the kids—Chan cheesing so hard, letting forth such an innocent, unbridled laugh that breaks the heavens open to let pure sunlight spill down upon them.

Joshua thinks this is perfect. The party. Their family.

“You’re doing amazing. Everyone is enjoying themselves. You should too.” Joshua rubs his hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. “I’m listening out for the door, go talk to Seungcheol and grab something to eat. Relax.”

Jeonghan takes his advice.

He opens his mouth to say something and instead gets it filled with a piece of meat hot off the grill.

“I just finished up. How’s it taste?” Seungcheol already knows the answer but asks anyway with a knowing smirk.

“It’s haa… Whew. It’s hot.” Jeonghan speaks around the beef burning his tongue. The flavor is savory, but when he says hot off the grill he means it in its entirety. “Yummy.”

Seungcheol kisses him on the cheek, pulling him into a side hug with one arm loosely around his waist.

“I can’t believe I’m really going to do this.” Seungcheol speaks after a minute of watching the kids play.

“It’s really adorable what you’re doing. They’re going to love it.”

“Sure hope so.”

“Hurry up and go! I wanna cut the cake.” He honestly doesn’t mind what time the cake gets cut. The younger brunette is finally starting to relax and knows that this portion of his day will be the most iconic. Although Jeonghan had planned the majority of this party, Seungcheol planned something of his own. And this one was a surprise.

“Oh no! Kids watch out!” Jeonghan shouts a warning to the crowd playing in the patch of grass. They all look up, startled and Jeonghan makes sure he has the camera rolling.

In less than a second, their attention focuses in on the person(?) standing by the sliding door. It’s…

A dinosaur?

They don’t move or speak for a second.

And then they hear a roar. The dinosaur darts out toward their huddle. They scatter, screaming like they’re being chased by an actual creature and not a grown man in an inflatable dinosaur suit. Screams melt into giggles and the laughter builds as the kids continue to run away from who they’ve now realized is just some clumsy person fumbling around in a costume.

Chan doesn’t know who it is until the dinosaur trips over its own feet, landing ungracefully in the grass. His yelp is distinguishable even between the screams and laughs and music.

“Daddy!” Chan runs up to the dinosaur, any possibility of him being afraid flying out the window. By the time Seungcheol finds his way back up, Chan runs into his legs with a tight hold. It sends the dinosaur back to the ground and soon all the kids are piling up on the lump of dino dad roaring unconvincingly.

Joshua and Jeonghan stand by each other, every single second of it caught on video. They’re holding their stomachs with how hard they’re laughing. He imagines this being one of those clips that end up on AFV.

It takes a while to get everyone to calm down. Eventually, they make it to the table to eat and sing happy birthday and share slices of cake. Pictures were taken. So many pictures. And the night ends with children slowly being picked up while they cuddle around the couch and watch the latest Jurassic World movie.

Right before Chan falls asleep, he pulls both of his dads in for a hug, an arm around the neck of each.

“Thank you for the best day ever.” He yawns with the same smile he’s adorned all day. Truly, it hasn’t left his face once.

Jeonghan thinks he can finally rest now. A successful weekend it was.

~~~

Finally got to posting the birthday chapter on here. Tumblr has... changed? There’s not a function to add a line to separate things anymore??? Oof. I’m on twitter now :) @eottoghe

#jeongcheol #seungcheol #jeonghan #coupshan #seunghan #dino #lee chan #fanfic #seventeen

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alexwinfield-blog1 · 5 years

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Digital Footprints: Put YOUR stamp on it.

It’s Monday morning. A new day. Another week of school. You turn off your alarm and head straight over to Twitter. “Monday already !!!!!!! (Crying emoji X10) Can’t w8 to get back into bed”. Your phone pings. It’s Lizzie. Your BFF. She never lets you down. Except not today it seems. “Soz bbe. Sooooo ill. Grab any hw sheets for me plzzzz (blowing kiss emoji) xxxx”. Mum shouts up the stairs “Are you getting up at any point today? The dog needs walking and you need to take your brother to school!” You slam your phone into the duvet, roll your eyes and take a deep breath. You’re annoyed and the day has only just begun. Toast in one hand and dragging your brother out the door by the other, you smile at the postman. “Morning”, you say. Knowing full well he loses your packages ALL THE TIME. Be nice mum always tells you. Manners cost nothing.

You get to school. The mean girls stare you down as you walk to your English lesson. You try to look cool. You tell yourself that one day they’ll take you in as one of their own, but maybe today just isn’t that day. You find your seat, unpack your books, your pencil case, tucking your phone under your hideous plaid skirt. Silly really. Illuminating skirts aren’t exactly the school uniform market’s latest innovation. You’re top of your class. You know you shouldn’t be scrolling through Instagram in a lesson, but everyone else does, and you for sure don’t want to stick out any more than what you already do. You get A’s in nearly every assignment and you compete in nearly every extra-curriculum sport in the school, but you can’t help but fantasise about that Instagram #gymbod. Your parents are immensely proud, and your teachers? You can’t do enough to please them. You love school. Never too shy to raise your hand in class, never too eager to stand in front of the WHOLE of year 11 to deliver a speech about the school’s litter policy, and never too embarrassed to admit to your friends that you’ve not even kissed a boy.

It’s lunchtime. You and your best friends of 12 years gather around the canteen table.They tell you about their exciting weekends. How their heart throb boyfriends distracted them from getting any work done. How they got ridiculously drunk at a family party and how their mum grounded them for coming home at 10:33 – 3 minutes later than expected. And you? You just listen. For the most part, you spend your break and lunch times talking in the hockey team WhatsApp group chat. They’re a laugh. Sometimes you tell the girls about your boring weekend, or even fluff it up slightly by telling them you actually got out of your pyjamas. They would never believe you. You’re well and truly the plain Jane out of the bunch. The new boy in your year asks if the seat next to you is taken. The girls think he’s a nerd but you think he’s quite cute. You say no. The girls sigh as if to say “you’re such a loser”, but you don’t care. You have to pretend you don’t know his name, that you don’t have an unhealthy obsession with checking his Facebook. You know his cat goes by the name of Clive, but you pretend you don’t know that. You know he plays for the local rugby team, but you’re not supposed to know that either. You don’t know that his birthday is the 6th of June, and most importantly, you must NOT show any bitterness towards his girlfriend of 3 years.

Home time at last. You’re loosening your tie as you get closer to the front door, eager to jump straight back into bed. PING. It’s the girls group chat. “House (girl dancing emoji) Sat nite. 8.30. B there or b (square emoji)”. NOOO. You promised mum you’d have a film night with her. Saturday night rolls around. You’ve been plotting all week how you could get away with this one, but she’s a mum. They find out everything. Not this time. You divert from the party situation. It’s now a revision sleepover situation with the girls. You ask to go and of course you’re allowed. School first, partying second. It’s 10pm. You’re having the best time but you assured mum updates on the revision sesh. So, as promised, you load up Instagram stories. On your second Instagram account, obviously. By second, you mean the only Instagram account your mum thinks exists, right? You locate the photo album named “revision”. You browse this until you find the most colourful, most mind-map-ful, most hard working-esque photo you can find. And voila! A little later, in comes a text from mum. “Wonderful stuff. Looks like you’re really working hard. See you in the morning :)” . Little does she know, over on what might as well scream @yourerliar101, several stories and photos were posted of your amazing night with your besties. In the morning it seems the party was a huge success. Tweets and Instagrams raving about the night – “Can’t believe Josh taught every1 to do the (worm emoji) (cry laughing emoji)”. “Had the best nite EVAAAAAA (tongue out emoji)”. “Me and the gals last night!!!!!!! (cocktail emoji) (heart eye emoji) #lovethem”.

Sound familiar? Well, this may not be too dissimilar to a day in the life of your late teenage years. (Millennials, this one is for you!) Through this artificial account, we learn that in just 24 hours, you are likely to perform a variety of different roles. You’re a reliable friend and a caring sibling. You’re also studious, a potential lover and occasionally a liar. But sometimes it’s for the best, right? So, quite literally, how can these personalities become transparent online?

Just like this teenager, the average social media user, whatever you may define this to be, can be traced online. Social media can speak volumes about a person. Not just what they get up to on the weekend, but the finer details. For example, they’re obsession with their house rabbits, how much they can’t stand their boss, and more recently, how they’ve jumped on-board Facebook’s latest bandwagon, “rate my meal”.

Social media, such as Instagram and Twitter allow me to present the most favourable, or sometimes least favourable, versions of myself. If you were to rewind to old school Alex on Twitter, you would definitely find tweets containing homophones, such as “u”, with my favourite acronym, still to this day, being “lol” – only used sarcastically of course. As well as this, I was a sucker for, and admittedly still am, a cluster of exaggerated punctuation, but mostly “!!!!!!!”. Although Crystal (2008) claims that young users of social media, especially in SMS, will use abbreviations such as “GTGMIW” (Got to go, mum is watching), this wasn’t necessarily the case when I was growing up with social media. Nowadays, it’s all about filtering what you put online. This screening allows you to hide your online activity, for example by disguising your wild Friday night shenanigans by deselecting your mum from viewing your Snapchat story. Or, creating a separate Instagram just for your friends’ entertainment. You can be as embarrassing as you like and you won’t have 800 followers judging you.

Goffman (1974) refers to this online social interaction as “audience segregation”. We ultimately filter aspects of our lives from certain people in order to curate and maintain a multitude of personalities depending on the context we are in. So, for me, this means presenting a sensible, family-friendly Alex on Facebook, an interesting and good-humoured Alex on Twitter, and an exciting, adventurous Alex on Instagram. Let’s take a look…

So, 2017 A-Level Results day. Here, we’ve got a definite exaggerated use of punctuation and excitable capitalisation. Not only this, I clearly thought the use of the extreme smiley emoji X2 wasn’t enough, resulting in going the extra mile with a #. What am I doing here? Looking back on this, this for sure could have been Facebook worthy. This could have bagged me a gushing army of comments from overjoyed family members bursting with pride. But why Twitter? My friends would see this. People I know, but don’t really know, would see this. Those 23 likes - those 23 people thought this was worthy of a tweet and that’s all that mattered. In this moment, I. Was. Clever.

Evidently, over the years, I desired to either be desperately funny or desperately embarrassing. You decide this one.

Would I have found any of these tweets to be bland if I weren’t to use homophones? Or exaggerated punctuation? Or hashtags? Were these attempts for me to moan about how busy my life was? Did I want sympathy or just someone to relate to?

Here’s Instagram Alex. Holidaying in the Dominican Republic, Lanzarote and Greece. Eating Wagamamas at least once a week. Being overly obsessed with a French Bulldog, attending fancy-dress parties and the occasional festival. This is what I choose to share online. Not very exciting, but a fairly accurate representation of me. You can guarantee nearly every other caption incorporates an excessive use of emoticons, sarcasm and most definitely a little too much of this “!!!!!”.

What do these linguistic features allow me to achieve?

If I asked a complete stranger to read my Twitter, browse my Facebook and scroll through my Instagram, they would probably argue that my presence across these social media platforms doesn’t really differ that greatly. You could say that for the most part, I present the most authentic version of myself online. I’m not one to shy away from no-make up selfies, or tell the world about how groggy I feel after waking up from that 3- hour nap, or in fact how much I moan about going to my 20 hours a week part-time kitchen job.

However, for some people, this is not the case. Without audience segregation there would be a context collapse. Employees would start saying “lmao” when their boss asks for a coffee. Students would use inappropriate emoticons to sign of their “sorry I can’t make it to the lecture today, I’m ill” email. Parents would text, or even worse, tag you in their FB status announcing “#DINNERISREADY” instead of actually calling you down for dinner, and we definitely don’t want to live in a world full of parents who hashtag EVERYTHING.

So, what can we learn from this?

For both professional and personal matters, it’s important to present yourself online in a way that is consistent. You don’t want people to think you have 25 different personalities. Keep this for the real-life stuff. No one likes a catfish. After all, if 70% of employers screen candidates’ social media before they consider hiring, it’s important to avoid branding yourself as a fool online. Keep those drunken night out videos OFFLINE and maybe consider deleting those 2012 “Like for a rate <3” cringey Facebook statuses. However, don’t go erasing yourself offline completely in fear that you’ll never get a decent job. After all, 47% of employers argue that having an online presence allows them to learn a bit about who they’re hiring. So, be open, but not TOO open. Be YOU. However, if “you” means writing Facebook statuses about how much you love playing Angry Birds at work, or how you’re easily persuaded to go clubbing on a Monday night, maybe it’s best you don’t share the real you online. Be mindful about the digital footprint trail you’re leaving behind.

References:

Driver, S. (2018, October, 7). Keep It Clean: Social Media Screenings Gain In Popularity. Retrieved from: https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/2377-social-media-hiring.html

Jones, R. H., & Hafner. C. A. (2012). Undersatnding Digital Literacies. London: Routledge.

#week5

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atlafan · 4 years

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Take it Slow - Part Eighty-Nine

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

You floated through the halls at work the next day. No, not because of the wonderful 3AM sex you had with Harry last night. It was because this Saturday would be one year since your first date, the date that the two of you were choosing to be your anniversary, instead of when you made things official in October.

“What do you two have planned this weekend?” Niall asks you at lunch. Buster was with Harry today.

“We’re going to a spa for massages and to get our nails done.” You swoon. “And I think we’re going to the tapas place.”

“That’ll be great!”

“I still can’t believe it’s been almost a year since you convinced me to go out with a complete stranger.”

“I know! I spent so much time talkin’ him up to yeh, and you never showed any interest. No choice but to be blunt.”

“Alright, you talk about this girl all the time. You’ve talked about her for almost two bloody years! Ask her the fuck out already!” Harry slurs over drinks with Niall at their favorite bar.

“S’not like that, mate. Don’t want her in that way. She’s just my good friend…although…I think maybe she’d fancy you.”

“Lots of girls fancy me.” He smirks.

“You’re annoyin’.” Harry bursts out laughing.

“Okay, okay…why do you think she’d fancy me?”

“I don’t know exactly, you just seem like her type.” He shrugs. “I can’t really explain it, Harr, I could just see it.”

“Will yeh finally show me a picture of her? I’m not doin’ another blind date.”

“Alright, fine, why not?” Niall took his phone out to show Harry some pictures of you. “Here’s a selfie we took when we went out to the beach a week or so ago.” Niall handed Harry his phone.

Harry’s eyes popped out of his head. You were smiling big, and you could really see your freckles. Your arm was around Niall’s shoulders and you could just see the cleavage from your bathing suit top.

“Holy shit…” Harry looks back up at Niall. “And you’ve seriously never hooked up with her?”

“Nope. She’s literally just my friend.”

“Her smile is…beautiful.” He looks back down at the photo and smiles. “Do you have one of just her?”

“Let me look on her Facebook.” Niall takes his phone back. “Oh! Here’s one from our company party a few months ago.” He hands him back his phone.

You were wearing a strapless blue dress with your hair in a nice bun. Yup, he thought you were breathtaking.

“Tell me again, why have you never brought her around?”

“She’s been at my holiday party the last two years…you just never noticed.”

“Or you just never introduced us.”

“You still just sort of hook up with girls, I didn’t wanna bring up you two meeting until I knew you were sort of over that…you seem like you are, so…” He takes a sip of his drink. “I’m sort of protective of her too…”

“I get it, I know I can be an asshole.” He smirks. “I swear I’m over all that…” He scrolls past some other photos. “When was this?”

“Oh! Her best friend got married, she didn’t wanna go stag, so she asked me to go with her. It was a lot of fun.”

“She’s so…pretty.”

“Yeah. Plus it doesn’t hurt that she has a nice personality too. She’s really smart, funny, all things you’d want…she’s an incredible friend. She’d drop anything to help, and half the time you don’t even have to ask.”

“Alright, can I have her number?” Harry starts to scroll through Niall’s contacts, but Niall snatches his phone back.

“I can’t just give some random dude her number.”

“But I’m not just some random dude.”

“To me…but to her…look, I haven’t even talked about you to her…let me see if she’d be into it, okay?”

“Sure, but I’m gonna keep buggin’ yeh until you make it happen.” He smirks.

****

You and Niall were hanging out at his place, getting ready to watch Bachelor in Paradise. He hands you a bowl of popcorn, and you snuggle up next to him.

“So, who do you think is going to hook up tonight, I think-“

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“When was the last time you went on a real date?” Your face falls. That was sort of a loaded question. “Was it…Jake?”

“I’ve been out a few times, but obviously no second dates. Why?” Your eyes grow wide and you inch away from him. “Wait, you’re not like asking me out are you?”

“What?! No!” He laughs. “Not that, that would be funny, I bet you’re super fun to date.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I just mean, we’re friends, and I like being just friends.”

“Me too.”

“Okay.”

“Anyways, have I ever mentioned my mate Harry to you?”

“Maybe a few times. I know you hung out with him over the weekend.”

“Yeah! We had drinks for the first time in a while.”

“Cool.”

“So…he’s a really great guy. I think you’d like him. He’s single, and so are you-“

“No.”

“Come on, Y/N.”

“I don’t wanna do a blind date. My parents met on a blind date, and look at how well that worked out.” Niall can’t help but laugh.

“Harry is nothin’ like your dad. He’s really nice, a true sweetheart.”

“I don’t know…”

“Well, he said he’d go out with you.”

“He did?!”

“I talk about you enough.” He blushes. “He said he was interested.”

“I’ll have to think about it…is that okay?”

“Sure.” He shrugs and throws an arm around you.

***

Over the next several weeks, Niall kept dropping hints that Harry wanted to meet you. Harry couldn’t stop thinking about you, and he hadn’t even met you yet. He really wanted to get to know the beautiful girl that was in his friend’s life.

“Niall,” You sigh. “Why are you bringing up Harry all of a sudden? I mean, I’ve known you for almost two years.”

“Well, after your last break up, I honestly didn’t think you’d ever want to look at another man.” He shyly told you in the break room one day.

“Will you at least show me a picture of him?”

“Nope, want this to be a true blind date.”

“You’re annoying.”

“I’ll set everything up for the both of ya, and if it goes well then you can both take it from there.”

“That’s if I even agree.”

***

“Ask her if she’s free this Saturday.” Harry says to Niall on Tuesday night as they play video games. “I feel like she’s gettin’ closer to sayin’ yes.”

“What exactly do you want to do with her?”

“I’d just like to take her to a nice dinner.” He shrugs. “Think she’d like that?”

“She’d love it!”

“Figured that would be a chill way to meet, you know?”

“Yeah, takes a little of the pressure off.”

“I’ll ask her at work tomorrow.”

***

“What are you doing this Saturday night?” He asked you Wednesday morning, handing you a coffee. You each took turns buying coffee for the other. Today was his turn.

“Um, I think I was just going to binge watch something on Netflix. Why?”

“Harry was wondering if you’d be interested in dinner.”

“Oh he was?” You raise an eyebrow, and take a sip of your coffee.

“Yes, well I nudged him a little, but I’ve told him a lot about you and he’s very interested.” You blush at the thought.

“Well, I’m definitely free for dinner. Where was he thinking?”

“Well, obviously I’m glad I agreed.” You giggle.

“Didja get him anythin’ or is the spa day part if it?”

“It’s our gift to each other. He’s spent so much on me for my birthday, so I told him I didn’t want anything else. Was he always like that? So extravagant?”

“Not really.” Niall tries to think about it. “I mean, he loves surprisin’ people…and he really likes makin’ people smile. Never seen him do it all for a girlfriend before.” Niall takes a sip of his water. “Y/N, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to put a smile on your face. I feel like I’ve been sayin’ this from the beginning, but I’ve never seen him like this before. You’ve really changed his entire life, all for the better.”

“He’s changed mine too. I never thought I’d be lucky enough to be this happy.”

Saturday morning you woke up far too excited for the day ahead, but you couldn’t help it. This was the longest relationship you had ever been in. An entire year with the perfect guy. You look at him, he looks so peaceful while he sleeps. You shift to straddle him and you kiss him all over his face. He smiles without opening his eyes. His hands move up to grip your hips.

“Good morning.” You coo.

“Mornin’, angel.”

“Wanna see the video I made you? Well, for us, but it’s mostly for you.”

“I’d love to.” His eyes flutter open.

“If you’re still too tired we can wait…”

“Nope, wanna see it now.”

He sits up and you grab your phone. He throws his arm around you and you pull the video up.

“I haven’t posted this anywhere yet, it’s just for the two of us…”

“Alright.” He kisses your temple.

You hit play, and You’ve Made Me So Very Happy by Blood Sweat & Tears starts playing in the background. Harry tries to play it cool, but he was internally screaming. You pause it quick.

“I feel like this is sort of our song…we listened to it on the way up to get Buster. We both really liked it…”

“It’s great, it’s, uh, definitely our song.” He smiles and taps play again.

Throughout the song there’s pictures and videos of the two of you over the last year. There were so many good memories. You both giggled at some of the things, especially the pictures from Halloween. When it ends, you look up at Harry whose eyes are glossy.

“That was…really somethin’.” He chuckles and wipes his eyes. “You’re really good at making those.” He cups your cheek. “Happy one year.”

“Happy one year.” You lean up and kiss him. “I couldn’t wait to show you, I’ve been putting it together for awhile. I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Can we watch it again?”

“Mhm.” You beam at him as happy tears come to your eyes. “I’m gonna go make us a big breakfast. I got that vegan bacon we both like.” You kiss him quick and get out of bed.

You throw on one of his t-shirts, and a clean pair of his boxers, and head out to the kitchen. Buster yips at you, and you throw your sneakers on to take him out quick. Harry gets up and finds you in the kitchen making his favorite banana pancakes.

“You know, this day is for the both of us, not just me.” He chuckles.

“I know, but I wanted to do this for you, and we haven’t made this for breakfast in forever.” You flip a pancake over.

Harry grabs the pure maple syrup from the fridge and sets it on the counter. He looks you up down. He wasn’t sure what it was about you wearing his boxers that always turned him on so much. Maybe it was the way they sort of bunched up around the tops of your thighs so he could really see the curve of your ass. He opens the syrup bottle and dips his finger in to have a taste. He loved real maple syrup.

“Give me some.” You open your mouth and smirks as he puts more on his finger. You suck the syrup off. “Mm, that’s so good.”

“You know where I’d really like to put this?”

“All over your pancakes?” You put the last pancake on the plate and turn the burner off.

“No…well, yes eventually, but not right this second.”

“But they’ll get cold…”

Harry sighs and turns the ‘Keep Warm’ burner on, and sticks the plate on top of it, along with the bacon.

“Take your shirt off.”

“What?”

“Actually, that’s my shirt, so take it off.”

You swallow hard and take the shirt off, resting it on the island. Harry grins and grabs the bottle of syrup. Your nipples were already pebbled from the cool air in the room. He dips his finger back into the syrup and spreads it onto both of your nipples.

“Now I’m all sticky.” You pout playfully.

“Let’s see how we can fix that, hm?”

Harry lifts you up onto the island, and he stands between your legs. His lips wrap around one of your nipples and sucks on it. Your breath hitches as you hear him moan.

“Mm, so sweet.” He mumbles as he moves to the other one. He sucks it off with a pop and look at you. “Let’s make a mess.”

“What do you mean?” You giggle.

“I mean, I’m going to get this all over you and lay you down on the island, and then I’m gonna fuck you.”

“Oh.” You nod. “Alright then.”

You and Harry end up on the floor in the kitchen, naked, covered in sticky syrup, and giggling. You had brought the pancakes and bacon down to the floor with you.

“Mm, you did a great job with these.” Harry says, biting into the pancake.

“You certainly worked up quite the appetite.” You feed him a piece of bacon and he nips at the pad of your thumb.

“What time do we need to be at the spa?”

“At eleven, we’re getting massages first, and then our nails.” He hums his response.

“What time is it now?”

“Around nine.”

“Jesus, why did we get up so early?” He chuckles.

“Because we just couldn’t wait to love on each other.” You both giggle.

Buster comes over and you both have to sit up so he doesn’t lick at any extra syrup on either of you.

“This really was a good breakfast, thank you.” He gives you a bacon filled kiss, and stands up. He reaches his hand out and helps you up. “Come on, we need to shower before getting over there.”

“Oh, you didn’t want oil all mixed up with sticky syrup?” You ask sarcastically.

“Don’t think that’s the move.” He chuckles.

You both get into the shower, and wash each other up. You throw some leggings and a tank top on, and Harry gets dressed in some shorts and a t-shirt.

“Be a good boy Buster. Mummy and Daddy will be back later.” You say to him, and out the two of you go.

You and Harry check in to the spa and wait to be called in. You’re given robes and slippers. You get called in and you both are given a minute to undress.

“Shit…”

“What?”

“I really fucked up your back this morning.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry…you would think after all this time I would’ve learned to-“

“It’s fine, babe. I’m sure they’ve seen stuff like this before.”

You give him a reassuring smile and get under the blanket on the massage table. It was so relaxing, and something you both really needed. You had both talked about getting massages again pretty much right after you had gotten them the first time. When it’s done you both sit in a light room and wait to be called in for your pedicures.

“You enjoyed it?” He asks you.

“Mhm, it was wonderful.”

“I wanna give you a massage like that sometime.”

“Maybe I wanna give you one.”

“We could take turns.”

“Deal.” You lean on his shoulder.

“Would love to get you all oiled up like that, bur completely naked.”

“Oh, Harry.” You nudge him.

You get called in for your pedicures. You loved doing these things with him. It was so special and intimate. He held your hand the whole time, and you end up choosing the same color for your toes. It was a nice pastel pink that you both loved.

For your manicure, you go for a nice blue with a silver-glittery accent nail on your ring fingers. You made sure to get the shellac so it would last longer. Harry got a light yellow.

“Let’s make an appointment for you and your Nan for when she comes.” He says as you’re both paying.

“Oh, she’d like that. And two weeks from now would be a good time to get these redone, especially my toes.”

You make an appointment for the Friday evening she would be getting there. You figure after work it would be nice to get your nails done and go to dinner with her. Harry would be picking her up from the airport.

Harry knew how important it was to a lot of girls to make sure they had their nails done after they were engaged so when they posted pictures of the rings, everything would look nice. He didn’t know if you’d care that much, but he thought it would be nice for you to have fresh polish on for when it happens.

You pull your little black dress out that you wore on your first date after you’ve done your hair and makeup.

“Harry!”

He was out in the living room waiting for you. He looked so handsome. He had a blue silk shirt on with some tan slacks. He goes into the bedroom and he stops short.

“Need some help zipping this up.” You look over your shoulder at him smile.

He grins and comes in to zip it up. He lingers for a moment. He knew this dress all too well. You turn around to look at him and he wraps his arms around you.

“You look so beautiful.”

“Thanks, so do you.” You smile and kiss him.

“I fed Buster and took him out, so he should be good to go.”

“Alright, let’s hit it.”

You get to the tapas place and are seated after giving your reservation name. This time around you split some chickpea fries, cauliflower fritters, and a couple of other small items. You also each order a seltzer with a lime.

“A whole year.” You say as you clink your glass with his.

“Best year of my life, honestly.”

“Mine too.” He holds your hand across the table and squeezes it.

All of your food gets brought over, and you dig in. It’s delicious, you two really need to come here more often.

“Can I ask, what made you wanna bring me here for our first date?”

“I just thought it was a nice, yet chill place. Thought it would be a little more intimate sharin’ dishes. It would give us somethin’ to talk about in case things were…awkward at first.” He smirks.

“Could you imagine if we literally had nothing to talk about other than food?” You laugh. “So boring.”

“I’m very glad you had a personality.” He laughs too. “I remember I was excited to finally be meetin’ yeh. When Niall finally told me you said yes, I was thrilled. I needed to meet the pretty girl from the photos I was shown.”

“Ahh, so it was all about looks for you.” You smirk.

“And Niall told me about how great you were. Needed to see it for myself, really.”

The waiter brings over a small cake made for two people, and a single candle in it. You both blow it out at the same time.

“Mm, I love lemon.” You say as you bite into it.

“I know.” He smiles. “Think it’s one of the few sweets we agree on.”

“Would you kill me if I got you somethin’?” Harry asks as you drive home.

“Harry…”

“I just couldn’t help myself…I saw this perfume at the mall and thought you might like it.” He lists the center console and grabs a small box from it. “Here, see if you like it.”

“You always do this.” You smile. “And because I knew you would, I got you a little something too.” You open the box and give it a smell. “Oh! Apples.”

“It reminded me of your shampoo a bit.”

“Mm, definitely.” You lean across and kiss him on the cheek. “I love it, thank you.” You spritz some onto your wrists and rub them together. You reach into your purse and pull out a card. “You’ll want to make sure the car is parked.”

He nods and gets the both of you home. He turns the car off and taps the light so it’s bright enough for him to see. He takes the card from you. His jaw drops when two tickets slide out.

“How…when…are you serious?!” He was in complete and udder shock.

“You’ll need to close the studio for the time you’re away. And before you say anything, I’m not the one going with you.”

“Who else would I go see the Packers with?”

“Louis.”

“What?”

“I spoke with him about all this, he thinks it would be great for the two of you.”

“I can’t believe you got me tickets to see a real Packers game! I mean, I’ve only been able to see them on TV….” He smiles and then furrows his brows at you. “This is way more expensive than-“

“And I got you a plane ticket already. You’ll need to pack extra warm. That game is at the beginning of November, and it’ll be even colder in Wisconsin.”

“Y/N.”

“You got me practically front row seats to see one of my favorite artists for my birthday, and then proceeded to buy my grandmother a round-trip ticket for her to come up here. The game tickets themselves weren’t that expensive, especially since I got them so early. And I got a pretty decent fare for the flight.”

“But…this isn’t something we can even do together, I mean-“

“Harry.” You put your hand on his shoulder. “Happy anniversary.”

“Thank you.”

He opens up the glove compartment and sticks the card inside for safe keeping.

“I can’t believe…I mean…this is one of the most thoughtful things anyone’s ever done for me.” He smiles.

“I’d do anything to see that smile on your face.”

You both get out of the car, and head upstairs. Buster yips at the two of you.

“I know, we weren’t home a lot today, baby, I’m sorry.”

You both rub his belly before sending him off to his bed. Harry gets his hands on you and unzips your dress. You giggle as it falls to the floor. You unbutton the few buttons he actually used on the shirt and push it off his shoulders.

He cups your cheeks and kisses you. He swipes his tongue over your bottom lip, and you open up for him. He needed to taste you. Your tongue molds to his. You undo his pants and he steps out of them. He walks you back to the bed and you both fall onto it.

“God, I can’t wait to fuck you.” He says against your lips and you smile.

“You fucked me twice this morning.”

“Wasn’t enough.”

He kisses on your neck and dips his hand inside your panties. He runs his fingers up and down your slit to get you wet. You reach behind yourself to unhook your bra. He tugs it away for you. He leaves wet kisses between your two breasts.

“Paying a lot of attention to the girls today.” You giggle.

“The girls?” He laughs.

“The girls, the twins…a lot of people refer to their boobs like that.”

“Well, that’s just what I’ll call ‘em from now on. I can come home from work and ask how my girls are.”

He starts kneading both of them and you moan softly. He tweaks your nipple piercings and you let out a louder groan. He tugs your panties all the way off you and opens your legs up. Two of his fingers slip inside while he sucks on your clit. Your head rolls back against the pillow as your hips buck up towards him. He was knuckles deep and making the come here motion over and over.

“Just like that babe, so good.” You moan.

He sucks on your clit harder while he pumps in and out of you. You grip his hair causing him to groan against against you. Your legs start shaking and he uses his other hand to keep them open. You release on his fingers, and he sucks them into his mouth after he retracts them.

“Wanna ride you.”

“Yeah? Wanna bounce up and down on my dick?”

“So bad.”

He sits up against the headboard and you straddle him. You line yourself up and sink down on him. His hands slide down to the globes of your ass and he starts to move you on him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and sink your nails into his skin. Your mouth finds his and his tongue slips into your mouth. You both had a great rhythm going. He loved when you would almost lift all the way off and slam back down on him while he thrusts up into you. He nips at your jaw, then to your neck, sucking where he pleases. One of your hand slides to his neck, and you wrap it around his throat lightly. He groans as you apply a little pressure.

You use your other hand to rub your clit as he continues to thrust up into you. You both were very close. His thrusts were getting sloppier. As your release comes you loosen your grip on his throat, and hide your face in the crook of his neck. Your teeth sink into his skin as he takes full control.

I can’t wait to have this for the rest of my life. He thinks to himself. That thought alone was enough to have his come shooting up inside you. You groan as you feel him fill you up. He rests his forehead against yours as you both catch your breaths. He cups your cheek with one his hands and kisses you.

“I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Harry. Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary.”

You hug for a few minutes and then you get off of him. You both go through your nightly routines.

“Harry…”

“Yeah?”

“What if Buster slept with us tonight? Just for tonight…we were barely with him all day, and-“

“Buster!” Harry calls for him and he comes trotting into the bedroom. “Wanna sleep with mummy and daddy tonight? Haven’t loved yeh enough today, have we?” He yips and jumps up on the bed.

You giggle and get into bed with Harry. Buster lays at the both of your feet and Harry throws an arm around you. You loved your life so much. You had no idea so much could change in a year, and you were incredibly grateful. This was the first relationship you ever had like this. Not only had you never lived with a guy before, but you had never been in a relationship this long. You were with the person you were supposed to be with, and you couldn’t happier. You wondered what the next year with Harry would hold.

#take it slow #harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles y/n #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic #fluff #smut #happy sunday!#sorry for the wait i got busy last night #enjoy!

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noona-clock · 6 years

Text

A Prince for Christmas 👑🎄

Genre: AU/Fluff

Pairing: Yunhyeong x You

By Admin B

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

“You’re really not mad he’s making you go right before Christmas?” your co-worker, Emily, asked after your boss left the conference room.

You had just been selected from your team to travel to a town a few hours away to take over a local bakery there, buying it out and turning it into one of the franchises your company owned.

“No,” you answered, pursing your lips slightly. “You know how I feel about Christmas.”

“As in... you don’t.”

“Exactly.”

Growing up, your parents had owned a year-round Christmas store, and it had barely taken you a decade to become jaded with the festive holiday. You’d suffered through it while you were still living with them, and once you moved out after you graduated college, you barely even acknowledged the day.

“But, you don’t even go to visit your family or anything?” Emily asked as you both made your way back to your desks, the sound of typing and copying and phones ringing permeating the office.

“Every time I visit them is like Christmas,” you explained with a roll of your eyes. “They still own that damn store.”

“You’ll never get away, I guess,” Emily chuckled.

You made a quick pit stop at the coffee maker, allowing you two just a bit more time to gossip before getting started on your work again.

“What are your plans?” you asked as you ran your finger over the selection of coffee pods, trying to decide which one you were in the mood for this afternoon.

“For Christmas?”

You hummed positively in response, choosing one of your favorites and dropping it into the coffee maker, setting your mug underneath.

“Oh, y’know,” Emily shrugged. “The usual, I guess. Although... I’m bringing Sungjin home with me.”

“Ooh, you are?” you smirked, raising your eyebrows knowingly at her. “It’s really getting serious with that one.”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” she blushed, holding back a bashful smile. “He’s coming over for a Christmas movie marathon tomorrow while you’re leaving for your business trip.”

“Oh, god, speaking of,” you chuckled. “My roommate was watching one of those really cheesy Christmas TV movies last night. I was making dinner in the kitchen, and I mean, I couldn’t help but watch some of it. Have you ever seen one?”

“What, like the ones where it magically starts snowing and they fall in love?”

“Yes! This one was about a writer who went to this little town to find inspiration or whatever. Of course, the town was all decked out for Christmas, and she met this single dad and they went ice skating together and they made Christmas cookies and she ended up finishing her novel and it became a bestseller, but she moved there to be with him even though she was all famous now because of her bestselling book. It was so corny!”

“My mom watches those,” Emily told you with a little snort as she switched places with you to make her own cup of coffee. “I’ve watched some with her, and just... Yeah.”

You leaned back against the counter in the break room, sipping at your hazelnut flavored coffee. And then a really amusing thought popped into your head.

“Hey,” you began, a far too giddy smile pulling at your lips. “If I were in one of those movies, the town I’m going to for this business trip would be one of those little towns who’s super into Christmas. Y’know, because I’m not? All the lights and wreaths and caroling and joy would inject the Christmas spirit back into me.”

“Ooh, yeah,” Emily agreed, her eyes widening slightly. “And the guy who owns that bakery would be really good-looking.”

“Exactly. And instead of buying the bakery from him, I would fall in love with him, and I would tell our boss I can’t do it because that bakery is his life’s work and his biggest accomplishment and how can we do that to him on Christmas? And then I would quit my job and move there to be with him.”

“And then, in the end, it turns out he’s a Prince from some microscopic European country,” Emily added with a definitive nod.

“Oh, my god, we could totally write one of those dumb movies,” you laughed before taking another sip of your beverage. You were fairly sure you could turn on the television right now and find a movie with almost the exact plot you’d just laid out.

You spent the rest of your workday messaging back and forth with Emily, coming up with even more ideas for this “fake but could totally be real” Christmas television movie. There would be a romantic Christmas tree lighting, most likely. And it would start snowing just before you shared a tender first kiss with the bakery owner.

Emily brought up the idea your flight would get canceled so you would have to stay longer, but you reminded her you were driving, not flying. You’d been terrified of flying your whole life, and the fact you would be saving your boss some money had propelled him to agree to let you drive there by yourself.

Thankfully, the clock hit 5 before she could suggest your car would break down because that would honestly be taking it too far. That could legitimately happen, and it was a situation in which you did not want to find yourself at the end of next week.

“Have a good time,” Emily said in a somewhat sing-song, teasing tone as you both walked out the front door of your office building.

“I will,” you chuckled. “I’ll text you updates. And you have a good time movie marathoning with your man.”

You saw Emily’s cheeks get pink before you went your separate ways in the parking deck, she to go home to prepare for a weekend-long date, and you to go home to pack for your business trip.

How exciting.

The drive to this town, a place named Spruce (of all things), only took about five hours; you were so used to driving everywhere, five hours was a drop in the ocean for you now. You’d gotten solo road trips down to a science, and before you knew it, your GPS had announced you’d arrived at your destination.

This afternoon, your destination was a quaint Bed & Breakfast situated just on the outside of town. The pastel yellow Victorian home was extremely inviting, and you had to admit to yourself as you lugged your suitcase down the front walkway - you were pretty hyped to stay here.

You didn’t really get out that much. Your job kept you busy enough, and your aforementioned fear of flying prevented you from going any place too far away. So getting to stay in a cozy, homey, adorable little Bed & Breakfast was definitely out of the ordinary and actually kind of exciting.

The smell of gingerbread cookies greeted you as you managed to open the door with your hands full of luggage, though a middle-aged man wasn’t too far behind.

“Hello, there!” he grinned, taking your larger suitcase from you and closing the door to keep the cold air out. “You must be Y/N.”

...Apparently, you were the only guest here.

“I am,” you replied, trying not to make it obvious you were a bit taken aback by his personalized greeting.

“Welcome to our humble abode. I’m Nick.” He held one hand out for you, giving you a friendly wink as you shook it.

“Nice to meet you, Nick,” you nodded.

Nick proceeded to give you a tour of the downstairs before showing you upstairs to your room. He confirmed your earlier thought of being the only guest currently, and he informed you the best room in the place was all yours.

When he opened the large, oak door to what was presumably your room for the next week, your breath got just slightly caught in your throat.

It was absolutely gorgeous, and you knew instantly you would have to convince yourself to actually get out of bed every morning.

“Wow, thank you,” you murmured absently as you gazed around, your eyes taking in the simple but beautiful wallpaper, the crown molding, the plush four-poster bed, the embroidered sheer curtains, and the nice-sized en-suite bathroom.

“Sure, no sweat, young lady. Take your time settling in,” Nick ordered. “The misses and I will be downstairs if you need anything.”

You shot him one last smile before he closed the door behind him, leaving you alone to unpack and send some quick pictures to Emily. She probably wouldn’t be all that jealous because she was currently cuddled on her couch with her extremely handsome boyfriend, but... she might still be interested to see where you’re staying.

Once you’d hung up all your clothes in the ornate wardrobe, you slipped out of your room and tiptoed downstairs. You weren’t sure why you felt like you had to tiptoe; probably because the house was so quiet and old.

You only had to search a few rooms before you found Nick and his wife, a very charming woman who introduced herself as Holly.

Nick and Holly.

Now you thought about it... Hadn’t those been the names of the two main characters in that corny movie your roommate had been watching?

...Huh. Interesting.

“Would you mind giving me some directions?” you asked, trying to push your strange realization out of your head.

“Of course, not!” Holly chuckled. “We’re only here to help, dear.”

“I’m looking for a bakery,” you explained, reaching into your back pocket to slip out the piece of paper with all the store’s information. “It’s called --”

“Song’s Sweet Escape,” Nick interrupted. “The only bakery in town.”

Oh, god, this place was smaller than you thought. They only had one bakery?

“You can drive if you’d like, but it’s a very nice walk if you can take the cold for about twenty minutes.”

“I brought my heavy coat, just in case,” you assured Nick with a somewhat awkward chuckle.

He provided you with walking directions (which were literally just ‘take a left and walk about a mile and boom you’re there’), and you were off as soon as you’d bundled up in your coat, hat, scarf, and gloves.

As you strolled down the sidewalk, you couldn’t help but notice how pretty this little town was. There were definitely a lot of spruce trees, so your curiosity about the town’s name was now satiated. The snow was incredibly white and powdery, nothing like the gray slush back in the city. The houses were all different but beautiful in their architecture, the facades decked out in festive decorations.

Okay, well, now you mentioned it... Every house seemed to be decked out in festive decorations. There were lights and garlands strung up on just about every available surface, public lampposts included.

And as you got farther into town, you saw all the shops and stores were decorated, too. There was even a town square with a very enormous Christmas tree.

This place looked like a scene out of a Christmas-themed picture book.

Or even one of those cheesy TV movies.

Wait, hadn’t you already thought about those cheesy movies once today?

Right, Nick and Holly. The names of your hosts and of the characters in the film your roommate had watched.

So... first, Nick and Holly. Now, a small town extravagantly decorated for Christmas?

It was obviously just a coincidence, but... it was still a little disconcerting.

You tried to shake the eerie feeling from your mind as you approached the bakery, Song’s Sweet Escape, not wanting anything clouding your mind when you met the owner for the first time. You were here on business, after all, so you wanted to remain professional.

The jingle of a bell announced your arrival as you opened the door, and the few customers already there glanced your way. They smiled, despite the fact you were a stranger, and you nodded politely in return.

“Welcome,” you heard a voice call out. “What can I do for you?”

Your eyes gazed around the attractive and picturesque, if not a little old-fashioned, bakery. The pastel blue walls with white paneling on the bottom half. The retro knick-knacks cluttering the shelves. The marble counters and rounded display cases filled with the most scrumptious-looking desserts you’d ever seen.

Eclairs, cupcakes, petit fours, tarts, pies - you name it.

And every single one of them looked and smelled absolutely drool-worthy.

Your eyes finally made it to the source of the voice, and you were a bit taken aback to see...

Well, an extremely good-looking man.

He was leaning against the display case from the other side of the counter, his smile dazzling and his eyes possessing a somewhat dreamy quality.

“Hi,” you breathed, trying to remember to remain professional. “I’m... looking for the owner?”

The man’s smile only grew before he held out his hand to you.

“Yunhyeong’s the name, baking is my game.”

...Hold the phone.

This guy was the owner?

Like, the actual owner of the bakery? This bakery? The one you were supposed to buy and take over?

Now, wait just a gol-darn, cotton-pickin’ minute.

First, Nick and Holly.

Second, a small town (named after a common Christmas tree, mind you) which was overly decorated for the holidays.

And now, a very attractive man who just so happened to own the bakery you were here to usurp and turn into a franchise?!

Had you not just joked about this with Emily YESTERDAY?

Was this... was this some kind of dream or something? It sure didn’t seem like one, but... if it wasn’t...

Then what the actual hell was going on?!

Part 2

Tagging my fellow Yunhyeong stans @zhangjingyou and @hahasunqwoonz as well as @cramelot to let them know this has been posted! Readers, let me know if you would like to be tagged so you know when the next part of this series is up! Thank you!

-Admin B

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

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folkloreguk · 7 years

Text

Pick Me Up (optional bias smut)

(yes I did use ioi’s song as a title for my smut pls don’t fight me)

warnings: smut, horrible pick-up lines

pairing: reader (fem) x optional bias (male)

A/N: I thought about Ilhoon from BTOB when I wrote this but you can literally imagine anyone! I didn’t proof read this bc it’s late and I wanted to post it, but I’ll do that tomorrow. I hope you won’t find mistakes and even if you do, enjoy reading!! x

(H/N means “his name”)

[I wish I could tag my masterlist here, but if I do this post won’t show up for you guys anymore, but I havea link in my description!]

You were convinced. He was the most annoying fuckboy you had ever met. There were at least 10 other girls in your class, that were just as good looking as you. But for some reason he had chosen you. You didn’t understand why, but ever since he had first seen you, he hadn’t stopped trying to get with you. The amount of times he had asked you for your number was out of control. Not that you were going to give it to him any time soon.

You had to admit, he was smooth. He never seemed to run out of energy when it came to making up pick-up lines and asking you about your previous boyfriend. You had broken up with him after he had cheated on you. It turned out he had only been in it for the sex, and it prompted you to have lost all trust in boys. Otherwise, mr. fuckboy was the annoying but smart kid in class, who every teacher wanted to hate. They simply couldn’t, though, because no matter how many silly remarks he made, he always made up for them with just as many clever ones. He did manage to make you laugh too, at times when you weren’t busy being annoyed at him. All he seemed to think about was sex. And you.

The worst part about hating his acting though, was, by far, his handsomeness. Of course you would never admit it in his presence, but you didn’t exactly think he was ugly. But being attractive wasn’t all it took to make you open up to him. A boy. Boys, of whom you knew you shouldn’t trust them ever again. Sometimes you felt yourself doubting your devotion when you stared at him. When he grinned slyly after having made a smooth remark towards you before he turned around in his seat, facing the teacher who had probably warned him about interrupting the lesson already. But you were strong-willed.

“Shut up,” you muttered at him under your breath, glancing at the clock in the corner of the class room. 5 minutes to go. You can do this. He grinned, not fazed by your comment. He had just showed you an actual screw he had brought from home. “Wanna screw?” had his exact words been. You had never been this done with anyone. Lucky for him, your teacher had no interest in warning his students for interrupting. Especially because no one was listening anymore when there were only 4 minutes of the lesson left.

“I admit, not my best one. Here’s another one,” he said. Oh boy, here we go again. “If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?”

You wished in that exact moment you could slap his smirk off his face. Why did he have to sit in front of you? 3 minutes left.

“Your chances are smaller than zero, how many times do I have to tell you?” you muttered.

“Actually, my chances would be 50%. But I guess you- Ow!” he let out, as you had smacked his arm playfully. “You know you’ll say yes one day.”

“In your dreams,” you laughed ironically. “Can’t you just behave like any other normal student for a minute?”

And so he did. For the last minute, he turned around and shut up. You were almost impressed. Now and then you caught him taking a glimpse at the clock on the wall, eager to leave just like anyone else in the room. At the same time, you caught yourself staring at him. Black skinny jeans, deep blue sweater, some sneakers. Nothing out of the ordinary. His hair looked a little messy from where he ran his hand through it earlier (Not that you had noticed that, too). Then, the bell rang. Finally. Voices bubbled up and chairs scratched over the floor. You packed your bag just as he stood up, placing his own bag on his table. Rummaging through it, he pulled his phone out, checking the screen. A second later, his face darkened in concern.

“Crap. There’s something wrong with my phone,” he cursed. You were 900% ready to get out of this classroom, but being the good person you were, you worried at his genuinely stressed expression. When he was being normal for a minute, you couldn’t help but be polite.

“What is it?” you asked. He looked at you for a moment, then sighed.

“Your number isn’t in it,” he said, sounding completely serious. Was he for real?

“And that’s the way it should be,” you caught yourself. “I need my break from you when I’m at home.”

And with that, you left him standing. If you just had his determination and used it for school work, you’d have heavenly grades. You dragged your body home, feeling unusually tired. You didn’t have a big appetite, which was unusual, and couldn’t focus on anything.

The next day you were sick. You were sure it was nothing serious, but decided to stay at home either way. At least in your bed you would be left alone. No pick-up lines for a day seemed like a week of holidays to you. It was a Thursday filled with coughing, sipping hot tea and watching your favorite TV show. You felt better in the evening, but not exactly healthy.

The next day you walked into the kitchen. It was morning and you were ready to leave for school again. The second your mother heard the ugly cough leave your throat, though, she sent you straight back to bed. Fine, you thought. Even though you didn’t feel sick anymore, another day in bed surely wouldn’t hurt. It was Friday anyway, allowing you to be excited about the weekend already.

Around noon you decided to check your phone for messages from your friends. You were sure you had missed homework and other school stuff you didn’t exactly feel like dealing with. To your surprise, none of your friends had messaged you about homework. Instead, you found a text from an unknown number.

unknown number: hey

you: who is this??

unknown number: if you were a Pokemon, I’d choose you

you: how the hell did u get my number???????

unknown number: we got paired up for a project

you: what u talking abt???

unknown number: mr. smiths made us a pair for the history projects so ur friend had to give me ur number. its due to monday

you: what the hell????

unknown number: I didn’t come up with the dead line

unknown number: btw what’s with all the question marks

you: it’s called confusion

you: so when do we meet up?

unknown number: tomorrow? my place

You knew your parents wouldn’t be at home all day, and praying that his would be, you said yes. So there was still a small chance you wouldn’t have to spend an entire afternoon in a house alone with him.

On Saturday afternoon you had thrown on a random sweater with some pants, your sneakers and left your house. When you pulled up in his driveway you instantly noticed the lack of cars. He’s not getting into my pants, you told yourself. Why did you even have to remind yourself? For some reason, you felt nervous.

He ripped the door open around two seconds after you had rang the bell. In surprise, you flinched. The way he leaned against the door frame and grinned smugly made you frustrated. And you hadn’t even entered the house.

“Come in,” he made a dramatic gesture behind him, waving you inside. It almost made you laugh. Almost.

“Okay, first of all, rules.” You entered the house and looked around.

“Rules? What is this? BDSM?” he asked. You rolled your eyes. He nodded his head towards the stairs and you followed him.

“Focus,” you said, making him chuckle even more. “No pick-up lines. We need to get stuff done if this needs to be finished by Monday. I really need a good grade on this. Smiths already hates me for no reason.”

“Do I really distract you that badly?” he asked, smirking and turning around to you. His hair was messy, but in a good-looking way. His collar bones peeked out from under his shirt. You guessed he did distract you a little.

“See? That’s what I meant. Keep those comments in. At least until we’re back at school,” you said, entering his room after him. It looked cozy, and like he had just cleaned up. You hadn’t expected him to be messy, but not this clean either.

“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s literally my character, if you haven’t noticed yet, sweetheart,” he said, sitting down at his table, smirking again.

“Sweetheart?” you asked in disbelief. You realized that he wouldn’t stop with his comments until you did. And because fighting wouldn’t get you anywhere, you decided to shut up and start working. Your topic was the most boring subject you had ever heard about, making it even more bothersome to research it. It had been at least three hours. He had kept quite calm throughout it all, but you still seemed to struggle to make progress. You had taken your space on the floor, leaning against his bed. Around you, pens and papers were sprawled across the floor while you bit your lip trying to figure out a structure for your presentation.

“I need a break,” he murmured quietly from his desk. You only hummed, your thoughts focused on the presentation. Your hand ran through your hair, sighing in stress. He cleared his throat, making you jump.

“Looks like you could need a break too,” he laughed. “I’m gonna get a glass of water. Do you want one as well?”

Still in concentration, you snapped out of your trance slowly. You got up while nodding, deciding he was right, for once.

You watched the back of his head as he walked. The work had made you sleepy and dizzy, a little as if you were drunk. Crazy thoughts flooded your brain all of a sudden. Your fingertips tickled at the thought of running your hands through his hair, down the nape of his neck. You had always loved his neck, you just never had admitted it. Shaking your head, you asked yourself what had suddenly gotten into you. All you hoped for was for the water to wake you up and let you focus again. You entered the kitchen.

You thanked him when he handed you a glass of cold water. After you had downed it, you still didn’t think clearer.

“I don’t think we’ll get to finish this today. My mom wants me to be home by eight for dinner,” you admitted. It was already half eight. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

For a moment he blinked at you, then he grinned. You already knew what that expression meant.

“I mean…hopefully you…,” he mumbled. When you playfully lifted your hand as if to smack him, he held up both hands in surrender and giggled. “Okay! I don’t have plans, alright?”

“That’s literally all you had to say,” you let out, shaking your head at him.

“Y/N. Be honest for once. You like my pick-up lines,” he urged you. You laughed ironically. “Deep down, you do.”

“You drive me insane,” you said.

“That wasn’t a no!” he yelled in success, putting down his glass. “Come on. What’s so bad about me? What wrong have I ever done to you?”

You were taken aback by his sudden question. What wrong had he done to you? He had never been rude, only his goofy, sex-obsessed self. You glanced at his face. His eyes were waiting for an answer, hands crossed above his chest.

“I’m just not very fond of boys after my ex cheated-” you began.

“Seriously? You compare me to your ex-boyfriend?” he asked, genuinely offended. It was true, he was nothing like your ex. Much funnier, to begin with.

“I’m not comparing you! I guess I just don’t want to get involved with a guy any time soon,” you admitted.

“It’s not like I want to get married to you!” he argued.

“Wow, thanks,” you laughed at his defensiveness. “What do you want, then?”

He tilted his head at your question as if saying “Are you serious?”. Suddenly, he took a step towards you, startling you. Your body backed up against the counter, hands gripping the hard material as he studied your face.

“You know exactly what I want,” he breathed out. His face was so close to yours, you could feel the air from his lungs on your skin. It made your heart beat restlessly. His hand went under your chin, as if telling you. It was you, he wanted. You waited for his lips, but they never touched yours. He was waiting for your reaction. You realized he wasn’t going to kiss you without your consent. The boy wasn’t just determined, he also had one hell lot of self-control. Unlike you.

You closed the space between the two of you, lips colliding. Kissing him felt like triggering an avalanche of built-up frustration and emotions that had only been waiting to break free. His hands grabbed your sides roughly. He finally had what he wanted. In agreement, he let out a low sound when you pushed your body against his, chests touching. His tongue swiped over your lip, and you opened your mouth instantly. He tasted of bubble gum and smelled of cologne. His hands were even more eager than his mind, exploring your hips and waist, tugging at your clothes impatiently. You felt as if a ton-heavy weight was slowly lifting off you as you relaxed against his controlling touch and dominant kisses. He was right. Sex wouldn’t hurt your feelings. Not like your ex-boyfriend had. But your thoughts of him washed away in a blink when the boy in front of you pulled away and turned his attention to your neck. Your breath was shaky when he kissed you roughly, his teeth scraping against your skin. For a moment you let your head hang back, closing your eyes. His lips were soft but so passionate at the same time.

When your eyes opened, they fell onto the clock above the fridge. It was five to eight. Your eyes widened in shock.

“Wait, hold on,” you mumbled, softly tugging at his shirt. The look he gave you resembled a puppy whose food had been taken away. “I gotta get home, or else my mom kills me. She wants to have a family dinner. I’m sorry.”

He pouted, but nodded hesitantly. You wished you could’ve just been that rebel that ignored their parents for once. But that’s not who you were.

“But you’ll come over again tomorrow, right?” he asked, hope in his look as he showed you the way to the door.

“Yeah. To finish the project,” you emphasized.

“Sure,” he grinned, rolling his eyes. For the first time, you couldn’t blame him for thinking about sex now.

“I mean it! We’re not even halfway through, especially the presentation is not even close to finishing. We still need to write the entire text and draw the map. It’ll never work out,” you suddenly started to worry. Tomorrow was your last day and you had to spend it working with a boy that was sexually frustrated because of you. Which you, by the way, were as well.

“I’ll work on it tonight, maybe I get to finish it,” he said, completely calm.

“If you finish the project tonight I’m the princess of China,” you joked.

“And you’d let me have what I want?” he asked, unfazed. Let him have what he wanted. You laughed at him. There was no way he could finish the project by himself, in that short time. But a boy can dream.

“Yeah, sure,” you said, already out the door. “Bye. See you tomorrow.”

The next day at 3 you left your house, your bag full of pens, books and paper. You remembered the way to his house perfectly, and pulled up in front of it 10 minutes later. You chewed on your lip nervously whilst waiting for the door to swing open. You had thought the feeling would’ve gone away by now. But no way. The second you laid eyes on him when he opened up, you wanted him even more than yesterday. His hair looked freshly done but you wished you could mess it up. His lips were parted slightly as his gaze ran over your figure. You hadn’t worn anything special, just casual clothes. Yet he eyed you as if he never wanted to look at anyone else. When his look met yours, you looked away shyly.

“Come on in,” he said, completely relaxed. Without words you followed him to his room. The half which had the bed looked practically untouched. The other half, however, was a tornado-like chaos. Various pens sprawled across all surfaces and paper with messy notes covered every surface.

“Told you,” he grinned proudly. You lifted your eyebrows when he carefully stepped over the paper maze and grabbed a stack of them. Proudly, he handed it to you. You couldn’t believe your eyes. While he watched you, your eyes scanned the text quickly, making sure it made sense. You had known he was smart, but not this smart. Suddenly you wished you could do all of your projects with him.

“You did this by yourself? Last night?” you asked, still surprised. He chuckled.

“Indeed. It took me until three in the morning, but it’s done now,” he said. “Not a big deal.”

“Why didn’t you work that hard yesterday when I was over?” you asked.

“Honestly? I wanted you to stay over longer,” he admitted. His determination was definitely out of control.

“And now you asked me to meet again. If you were finished anyway you didn’t need me to come over,” you noticed. Then you remembered his words from last evening. He wanted his reward. You caught him licking his lips and your stomach flipped. Quickly, you looked over the text in your hands again.

“Is this how badly you want to get into my pants?” you joked, gesturing to the paper.

„Actually I think I just discovered my love for the history of the Medieval and Modern Africa,“ he explained matter-of-factly. You laughed out, and at the sound his eyes crinkled up too.

“Oh, of course, I’m sure of it,” you played along. “You know I could still say no now, and you’d have to accept it, right?”

He thought for a second.

„Sure, you could and I would. That sounds a lot like you’re saying yes, though,” he commented, smirking his famous, way too confident smile. He had never been more right and you knew it.

“Look. This one time, I’ll let you get away with it. But for the record, you can’t buy me with work. I’m only agreeing because I wa-” you started, holding up your finger. Suddenly, he walked over to you, grabbed your sides and attacked your mouth with his. You let out a surprised sound and stumbled backwards. You didn’t fall, though, because his grip on you was tight and after three chaotic steps your back hit the wall. There was no way for you to leave now, (not that you wanted to anyway) as his hands lay flat against the wall on your sides and he kissed you like his life depended on it.

He wasn’t doing anything particularly dominant, but the way he had you caged between the wall and his body and controlled the way you kissed him made your knees feel weak. Your previous boyfriend had made you feel good, but in a very sweet way. The boy that was all over you right now, however, seemed to not have the word vanilla in his vocabulary. You had no problem with him being rough. When you thought about it you let out a low whimper, to which he responded with a low growl.

“I’ve waited for so long, I thought I was gonna go insane,” he breathed against your lips as your chest heaved at the intensity of his kisses. You didn’t know how to speak anymore. Instead, you grabbed his neck and pulled him against you again. The way his tongue moved over yours made you wonder what else it could do to you. Involuntarily, your legs pressed together.

His hands were pulling your hair softly before moving downwards. Almost innocently they wandered over your chest, but you instantly arched your back, wanting more. They continued over your sides, holding you firmly by your hips. Then, they began lifting your top eagerly. You didn’t hesitate. It landed on the floor and meanwhile, he took off his own. You eyes barely had any time to admire his toned upper body, before they closed when his lips attacked your neck fiercely. His hands grabbed your ass and you moaned slightly. The way his lips played with your senses made you feel like melting underneath his teasing touch. They were rough and biting, and a second later soft and soothing. Your head leaned against the wall as he skillfully opened your bra, letting you toss it to the side carelessly. You whimpered at the sudden contact when his lips closed around one of your nipples, his hand playing with the other. His teeth grazed over your skin repeatedly, surely leaving purple marks. At least no one would see them there.

When he pressed his body against yours, you felt the bulge in his pants had grown. That didn’t take long, you thought proudly. On the other hand, you weren’t surprised. He was basically begging you to let him fuck you on a daily basis. You laughed quietly. While he was playing with the waistband of your pants, almost dragging them down, he reacted.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, confused but amused. You blushed, helping him to get rid off your pants, his following afterward.

“I was just thinking about how happy you must be now,” you explained, teasing him.

“I’m in heaven,” he didn’t hesitate to say. You were busy laughing as he took your arm and lead you to his comfortable looking bed. Turns out it didn’t just look the way. First, you admired his soft sheets, but then your focus diverted to him. To his mouth, to be exact. He kissed down your chest teasingly, but you felt how eager he was to get to your lower region. His hands stroking over your hips so tenderly were a massive contrast to his mouth. He licked and bit your skin until he reached the material of your underwear.

“You’re sure about this, right?” he asked. You wondered about his sudden hesitation.

“Of course I am,” you assured him, begging him to continue with your look.

“And you’ve done this before, right?” he asked. You were taken aback.

“What made you think I haven’t?” you asked, getting really impatient by the second.

“I just thought…, maybe you didn’t react to my pick up lines and jokes because you had never-” he explained. You laughed out. He looked puzzled.

“The problem wasn’t that I hadn’t had sex before, which I have, by the way. Your pick-up lines are just really, really bad,” you joked, grinning at him. He was playfully outraged.

“Okay, wait, you’ll love this one. Why do-,” he began, but was cut off by your voice.

“I am laying on your bed, half-naked and you’re trying to impress me with a pick-up line? You can do better than that,” you scolded him, chuckling. The tension between your legs became more unbearable with every passing second of him not touching you, and you couldn’t handle it.

“You’re right. I’ll show you how to be truly impressed, don’t worry,” he was back to being his cocky self. You were almost glad, because finally he pulled down your underwear. You lifted yourself up on your forearms, watching him as he breathed hot air against your wet center. Gently, his arms wrapped around your bent legs, laying on your lower stomach.

“Please, hurry,” you begged. He smirked, and you almost regretted saying it. Then you sucked in a breath when he licked a stripe over your folds, teasing you endlessly. He chuckled lowly when you let out a mix between a whimper and a groan, only leaving you more eager. His tongue was way too gentle on you. Forcingly, he pushed your legs apart further, giving him better access. When his tongue went over your clit, he suddenly stopped the game. While his finger nails dug into your stomach’s skin, he sucked on your clit, first hard, then softly and so on. He hadn’t been lying. Your throat left a breathy moan when he continued with licking, this time stronger than at first. As time went on, his muscle became faster and you felt yourself become weaker. You had to admit, he looked extra good laying between your thighs. You smiled in bliss, forgetting everything else around you.

“You’re so damn good at this,” you said, but the last part ended in a whimper when he payed extra attention to your sweet spot, making you see stars for a second.

“Told you,” he mumbled, barely pulling away. The vibrations his voice sent through you made you grip the bedsheets tightly. “If you would’ve only realized it sooner.”

He smirked up at you, not stopping his actions. Your stomach twisted in pleasure and anticipation. At this point, holding yourself up was no point anymore. You let your upper body fall backwards, the soft sheets catching you as you closed your eyes. You felt like you wanted to get even closer, although his face was basically buried between your legs. You squirmed under his grip when you felt yourself near your release.

“Stay still for me,” he ordered. There was only a little dominance in his voice, yet it made you want to behave. Even though you knew you couldn’t.

“But I’m so close,” you whimpered. He only took your words as a motivation. Faintly, you wondered how he had gotten so good with his mouth. His hands made you shiver even though they were gripping your body with roughness, keeping you in place. As you felt yourself get closer and closer to your release, your hands went to his hair. He slowed down for a second, but then he realized you didn’t want him to stop. The short break seemed to have left you even more sensitive. When he began sucking your sweet spot again, you almost couldn’t take it. His tongue leaped at your clit quickly. All you could do was close your eyes and attempt to control your moans. Within seconds you were coming, squirming underneath his touch while pulling his hair. Your back arched off the mattress and you moaned his name, no one else on your mind. He slowed down his actions and you shook slightly when he licked your over-sensitive clit one last time before pulling away.

For a few seconds you caught your breath, feeling his arms loosening their grip and his hands stroking over your skin soothingly. You stared at the ceiling for a while as your chest heaved, eyes blinking slowly. For some reason, you didn’t have enough of him yet. When you looked down, he was already staring up at you, grinning proudly at your expression. He gave you no signs of being eager, even though you were pretty sure he was. He was simply admiring you. It made you feel slightly weird.

“Are you not gonna take your pants off?” you asked. He laughed at your comment, shaking his head out of his focused state. Then, he got up and did just that. His boner was prominent and looked almost painful. He made a move towards the bed, almost as if he was going to climb on top of you. Then, he stopped in his tracks.

“Wait-” you began. Use protection, kids.

“Condom, I know,” he said, digging through his dressing table. When he finally scrambled onto the bed, he seemed to have lost all patience. Your hands went around his neck while he pumped his shaft a few times, squinting his eyebrows at the built up tension.

“Ready?” he asked you. You nodded before he had even finished the word. He entered you slowly, but wasted no time in picking up pace. At first, you whimpered at how he filled you up and how sensitive you were. Then, you got lost in the way he bit his lip and how his jaw flexed under his skin. His moans sounded like music to your ears. He was holding himself up on his arms while your legs bent a little, making him slam into you at a perfect angle. You cried out when he almost pulled out fully, only to thrust back into you until his hips met yours, his skin hot against yours. Your hands were playing with his soft hair by the nape of his neck, while he lowered his head a little. He wasn’t kissing you, but your lips were touching slightly, your unsteady breaths becoming one. He repeated your name a few times, as if praising you. His arms flexed under his weight, his veins standing out.

His member brushed over your sweet spot over and over, making you clench around him. He grunted at the sensation, only leading you to do it again. You loved seeing the way he shut his eyes tightly, concentrating on the pleasure. His thrusts were quick, but seemed less controlled than in the beginning, meaning he must have been close. Curses left his mouth, while you moaned softly. His motion became even quicker as he buried his head in the crook of your neck, lips hovering over your skin. His name slipped past your lips when he messily kissed you there, not slowing down his thrusts. When you clenched your walls around him again, he was sent over the edge.

He groaned, his arms giving out and he fell onto his forearms, basically laying on top of you now. His skin was hot and his breaths uncontrolled, face still in your neck. When he looked up at you he looked thoroughly content. You grinned tiredly. He pulled out carefully, making you whimper. For a few seconds you stayed that way, catching your breaths. It was quiet in the room, and you felt energetic and at the same time completely exhausted. Of course he was the first to speak.

“Don’t you wanna hear my pick-up line from earlier?” he asked. You almost smacked him. Then, you laughed.

“Okay, tell me,” you said, leaving him surprised. He was going to tell you anyway.

“People call me H/N, but you can call me tomorrow.”

#optional bias smut #kpop smut #bts smut #exo smut #seventeen smut #ikon smut #winner smut #pentagon smut #vixx smut #nct smut #btob smut

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aseriesofthrills · 3 years

Text

Suzie Is Back

Suzie is back, and so are long, overly emotional, rambling posts.

I matched with Suzie mid-October 2020. Caileigh and I had broken up earlier that summer after 3.5 years together, and my plan was to take some time off dating to “figure myself out.” Caileigh was the first person I ever dated, so I thought being single and out at the same time - for the first time - was a necessary step in figuring out my identity as an individual. Well, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but there’s this big thing called a Global Pandemic going on that’s forcing us all to choose between our physical health and a social life. Put simply, I was lonelier than America’s Dad Tom Hanks on a deserted island before he found Wilson. Or maybe even lonelier than America’s Dad Tom Hanks after he struck up a friendship with Wilson, because after all, Wilson was a volleyball. I wanted to find my Wilson.

And boy did I find a lot of Wilsons. Unfortunately for me, I found a lot of off-brand Wilsons that were the wrong color, didn’t hold air well, or came out of the box with fabric missing. This is not to say these Wilsons are undesirable. I’m sure any of them would provide solid companionship to the next unfortunate soul whose fallen plane renders them a castaway. They were just not for me.

There was Emily, someone who I had strong feelings for and made me realize I’d really like to date someone who’s also Jewish. I was wowed by her philanthropic agenda of making candles and donating half the proceeds, until she did a very gay thing™ and got back with her ex, which was when I began to wish I instead had simply donated that $100 directly to charity and didn’t have to stare at her Tender Flame (more like Tinder Flame, amirite) candles sprinkled around my house. Looking back, we really were not compatible. Emily taught me that just because you have good banter with someone and a shared belief system, it doesn’t mean you wont clink teeth when you make out for the first time. It might even mean she will be extremely silent while you go down on her for what feels like hours, then not reciprocate because she is… probably thinking about getting back with her ex.

Then there was MK, someone who I’d actually met once before at a Hollywood Ladies Drinks Night Before The World Shut Down We Used To Have It So Good Oh My God. I remember wondering that night if she might be queer, but my gaydar couldn’t figure her out and I was in a relationship so it was a moot point anyway. I was hesitant to send her a “like” on Hinge because what if she didn’t feel the same way and then I ran into her at a work thing in 2023 and she KNOWS I liked HER but we BOTH know SHE didn’t like me BACK and -

It took me 3 seconds to get over that existential crisis because I remembered that thousands of people were dying every day and nothing actually mattered. So I liked one of her photos, and she matched with me in literally 4 minutes. I normally like to talk to someone for at least a few weeks - pandemic or not - before meeting in person, but she almost immediately suggested getting together the following weekend. Maybe that’s just her, or maybe she felt confident that I’m most likely not a serial killer since we have mutual friends, but she went for it and I agreed because I hadn’t yet figured out how to assert my own boundaries. But also, why not. It was just a picnic.

It was not just a picnic. It was a picnic conveniently a few blocks from her apartment. It was a picnic and then it was dinner and sex. I enjoyed spending time together at first, but the more we talked and hung out the more my feelings dissipated. In the middle stretch I thought for a second that I had perhaps cracked the mythical Friends With Benefits code, but after a few more dates I realized the code was far more complicated than I’d originally anticipated and what I thought was the treasure map key was actually just meaningless hieroglyphics and OK I will stop this metaphor now. It was time to take the high road and be honest, which for me manifested in telling her I was going to quarantine the next 2 weeks before flying home so this would be the last time I saw her before 2021 and we should check in when we’re back in LA in January - and then I texted her once I got to Florida to say lets just be friends. Not my proudest moment, but we’re learning.

There were a few other short-lived dalliances, but we all have places to go and people to see (from a distance). Just know I somehow managed to make the Pandemic Year my own personal Slut Year. And we’re using the term slut lovingly, simply to describe that 2020 was the year I managed to sleep with more people than any year prior. Tell me I can’t do something, then watch me work.

If you pay attention to detail, as I’m sure my 2 consistent followers do, you’ll remember Suzie and I matched mid-October which was in the midst of my MK chronicles. I am not exaggerating when I say that I was lovestruck by Suzie just from her Hinge profile and pictures. I don’t mean like, “Oh, she’s pretty, I hope she likes me back.” I mean like, something happened to my brain immediately that can only be described as some version of virtual pheromones invading my bloodstream. It felt uncontrollable and biological. And if we learned anything from Dr. Fauci this year, it’s that science knows best. The first real conversation we had - meaning that sweet sweet moment someone on a dating app finally admits that they, too, were looking at the app at the very same moment you messaged them - felt engaging and electric and right. At the end of the conversation I gave her my number and she immediately texted me “Talk to you tomorrow *kissy emoji*,” which probably made me precum.

What ensued was months of talking every day. I’ll drone on for paragraphs if I let myself, so I’m not going to let myself. I’ll just say for a while it felt amazing. I liked her so deeply. It took us a good stretch of time before we broached the subject of seeing each other in person, but then a combination of her horrific time management skills (her words), a potential Covid exposure, and a highly contentious presidential election got in the way and lead us down a windy path ultimately culminating in a Zoom first date… a week and a half before I was supposed to fly home for 2 months. The Zoom date was everything I hoped it would be and more. I’d never felt more sad to click “End Meeting For All” but was too giddy to notice. She asked me about my holiday plans, so I told her about my impending travel, and then she more or less said we should have sex before I go. So we did. And it was the best sex of my life. And then I left the state of California, our mutual residence, for 2 months.

Things were somewhat fine at first - we were still talking every day, with a few more Zooms sprinkled in - but then she went home to New Jersey, and suddenly we weren’t talking every day. It was more like every 3-4 days and rarely in actual conversational form. It was more like me waiting for her to reply, then waiting to respond since she’d waited so long, then we’d do it all over again. I felt anxious and tortured and dejected and had no appetite and my mom asked me on more than one occasion if I was ok. I was not ok. But I told myself to bE cHiLL, something that is often diametrically opposed to my natural state of being. I reminded myself that, despite the fact that we had spoken every day for 2 months - which is practically one step away from engagement in LesbianLand - we had only had one in-person date. I was careful to not make It seem more serious than It was, so instead I workshopped a lot of dramatic WHAT ARE WE? texts that I sent to all of my friends and never to Suzie.

We had mutually agreed upon “See you in January,” so I told myself I’d just ask her to hang out when we got back. Then she postponed her flight to LA for 2 more weeks because our Covid numbers were at a scary peak, the worst it had been since the beginning of the Pandemi Lovato. Finally she told me she’d rebooked her flight for the 15th, and I optimistically thought to myself, “You simply don’t tell someone the exact day you’re getting back into town if you don’t plan on seeing them! Right?” Wrong. I shot my shot, and she shot me down. She replied with a long series of texts explaining that her mental health wasn’t in a good place, and she couldn’t be accountable for communicating effectively. She sprinkled in some compliments for good measure, making sure to take a pit stop in “I think you are so wonderful so please don’t think this has anything to do with you” Town, which was reassuring but did not override my brain’s instinct to rethink everything I’d done and said the past few months. But I felt connected to her on a human level, and I didn’t want to lose that simply because she didn’t want to bump butts anymore, so I suggested we be friends and she enthusiastically agreed. End of conversation.

Until later that night, when she texted me Greetings after landing at LAX. I was confused, but I assumed that just meant she was taking me at my word, and this friendship started n.o.w. What followed was some of the most perplexing behavior I’ve witnessed as a living person and hands down the most confounding I’ve ever experienced in my dating career. She’d text me about a new vibrator she bought, or send me a song link then simply “heart” my response and be done with the exchange. It felt like she was just reminding me she existed, as if my small brain could forget. Sometimes she’d ask me how I was doing and we’d have semblances of a real friendship, but other times she’d tell me that I’m SO HOT or send me DMs of a sexy Phoebe Bridgers photo or a Normal People instagram post of Connell telling Marianne she’s pretty. Somewhere in the middle of all that my patient friend Caroline finally hit me with some tough love and told me I needed to block Suzie’s number and hide her on social media. For all intents and purposes, Suzie couldn’t exist anymore. Caroline was right, but I couldn’t do it, so I compromised that for the next week I wouldn’t reach out to Suzie first. Caroline told me “Alcoholics have to quit cold turkey, they don’t get to say well I drink on the weekends” but I decided I was simply not able to do anything more drastic than not text this freshly 25 year old girl who was slowly unraveling my emotional stability first for a week.

You will not believe this but I survived the week and actually felt better, so I did it again the next week. And the next. And the next. Until it had been a month and I hadn’t reached out to Suzie first. She was still texting and DMing me, but I felt my feelings finally waning! Gone were the days of finding her high school ex-boyfriend’s blog in the depths of the internet or looking her up on Venmo to see who she’d gotten Chipotle with the night before. I absolutely still liked her - those fucking pheromones are relentless - but it felt less fresh, so I started to formulate a plan. Once I felt FULLY (lol) over her, I’d text her the next time I was horny. Best case scenario she’d come over, worst case scenario she’d be so disgusted or insulted that she’d never want to talk to me again and I’d actually get over her, not pretend-get-over-her-so-I-could-trick-myself-into-safely-bootycalling-her. But then she sent me potentially the most flirtatious message yet, and I took my opening at 12:53p on a Wednesday and simply said “when are you going to fuck me.” She fucked me that Saturday night.

So. Suzie is back, and Saturday night (and Sunday morning, *wink* she slept over) was great. But now it’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad again, to borrow some words from Judith Viorst.

How we left things this time is that she does want to see me again, but it can’t be a talk-everyday-thing because she’s ~bUsY* and moving to NYC this summer anyway for grad school (did I forget to mention that? Oops!) and for whatever other reasons that exist that are preventing her from being obsessed with me. She asked what my boundaries and needs are too, and both her actions and words that night really felt clear that she still liked me. I asked if she thought she’d ever see me again. There are some things you really can only ask while cuddling post-sex, and that’s one of them. She paused and said yes. She explained the context around her poor communication and that she never wanted to stop talking to or seeing me, and the way she was holding me felt like she was feeling just as connected to me as I was to her. You can tell when someone just isn’t there with you, and this was not that. We were both right there.

But we were also right back to there being a power imbalance between us. There’s no escaping the fact that this is really on her terms in its present configuration. Our best plan was to promise to be honest moving forward, which felt like it had a lot of potential at the time, but it turns out being honest is hard. Things sort of reverted back to how they were, except with all of my feelings and expectations that I’d worked hard to push down rushing back to take their place on the frontlines of my brain.

It’s been almost 2 weeks, and we’ve talked a few times every 2-4 days. I’m fighting the urge to memorialize exactly what’s transpired, but there’s simply no use in holding onto the details. What finally made all of these not-at-all latent emotions bubble up to the surface and inspired this Intense Feelings Word Vomit is two pronged. First, because I love to torture myself, sometimes I look at Suzie’s Hinge profile to see if she’s changed anything. For some reason, if it stays the same, I feel safe that she’s not seeking out anyone else but me. Which is somewhat logical but also farcical in this particular situation, and I fully understand that. I guess I was really wanting to invite some pain into my life tonight, because even after she texted me yesterday and then proceeded to stretch a very short conversation into something that still is in limbo, I decided it would be fruitful to check her Hinge profile. I’m here to report that all 3 of her prompt questions & answers were different. And readers, I had previously checked it recently enough to know this was a very fresh edit.

The second thing that pushed my feelings over the top, out of my mouth, and directly onto my keyboard is that when she finally texted me back at like 11:30pm, she seemed to entirely brush over two clear attempts, in my opinion, at relaying that I’d like to see her again. And that feels not good. My instinct is to tell myself that maybe my comments weren’t as overt as I first believed them to be, but I think that’s a thinly veiled excuse and a defense mechanism. If someone wants to see you, they will.

I’m almost certain (I am certain) all of my friends - ALL of them! I have A LOT! - are up to their eyeballs in Suzie-flavored-shit, so before writing this I must admit I did the loneliest thing of all: instead of being honest and sharing my feelings directly with her, I texted them… to myself. Raw, unedited emotions that I hope to never re-read one day but probably will and when I do I sure hope I’m in a healthier place and can laugh about it and think about How Far I’ve Come.

The truth is, I’m sitting here all over again picturing the dates I could take her on (the Carlsbad Flower Fields), what restaurants she should experience before leaving LA (Pace), and what fun at-home activities I could plan for us before the world fully returns to a post-Covid society (the DIY pottery kit I bought for myself, fully aware she loves to make clay art). Dare I admit I even daydream about the cross-country road trip that I’ll offer to accompany her on when she moves back East. I look at the contents in my fridge and think, “Maybe I wont use that ingredient tonight in case I need it to make us dinner next time she comes over.” I was ready to plan trying to get vaccinated this weekend around her availability, which is actually insane. You look up simp in the dictionary, and there I am. I took the crumb she gave me and turned it into a huge fucking Mrs. Fields birthday cookie cake that serves 20. No wonder I feel sick.

Unless I’m entirely miscalculating, which I can safely say I am not, Suzie is not sitting in her home thinking the same about me. I think she does like me - I have to allow myself to believe she does, because she said she does, and if I don’t believe it now I never will - but I also have to admit that 6 months into this game of Suzie Mental Gymnastics, I can recognize that all signs are pointing directly to the fact that I like her far more than she likes me. I don’t say that as a form of self-flagellation; it’s just a fact that I need to finally accept. Not just accept, but also let go of the possibility that it’s going to change. That’s the hardest part. I naively thought we were getting back on the ride again, and I buckled up for what turned out to be just a detour.

It can feel nearly impossible to pull yourself away from someone, especially when it feels like their claws are deeply embedded in your brain and your heart. That sounds wildly dramatic, but it is genuinely how I feel. What’s doubly hard is being able to trust my own instincts. I can get attached very quickly, and then it’s almost indecipherable whether someone is actually mistreating me or if my unrealistic expectations don’t allow the other person a chance to actually meet them. This whole essay could potentially be described as an overreaction, but the more I think about it, the more confident I feel in the validity of my feelings. Even if part of the issue is setting my expectations too high, the bigger issue is how I’m being treated. Suzie and I did agree on a low-pressure situation, but it doesn’t take much more than the bare minimum effort to consider another person’s feelings. And I don’t think my feelings are being considered all too much.

Not that Suzie ever really left my life in a real way, but I’m starting to think she came “back” for me to get a second chance at prioritizing my boundaries, my feelings, myself. I don’t want to overreact and call a party foul too soon, but perhaps I need to readjust my idea of what constitutes too soon. After all, maybe it was a mistake to not have asked for clarity sooner the first time. It would have probably allowed me to enjoy my time at home with family more and saved my brain a heck of a lot of overtime I am still saving up to pay. A not-no doesn’t mean a yes, and waiting does not change the outcome. It’s a natural reaction to hold on tighter to someone while loosening your grip on your own needs when you feel them pulling away, but it’s often something you can’t stop from happening. And that’s a tough pill to swallow. Sometimes you have to assert your needs when they’re not being met and watch things fall apart, not because you have those needs but in spite of them. You start again. I will start again.

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johnboothus · 3 years

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EOD Drinks: Peggy Noe Stevens

In this episode of “End of Day Drinks,” Peggy Noe Stevens discusses her organization Bourbon Women and what the bourbon industry needs to do to promote inclusion. After becoming the world’s first female master bourbon taster, Stevens used her expertise to create Bourbon Women. There, other women can learn more about the spirit through workshops and what she calls “edu-tainment.” While some events revolve around bourbon food pairing and education, Bourbon Women has also debunked industry-wide myths that women prefer weaker bourbon. In fact, after holding a series of blind tastings, Stevens’ team found women actually prefer stronger, spicier, higher-proof, and more robust whiskies.

Here, Stevens shares what a master bourbon taster does day to day and some of the bourbon pairing advice from her new book, “Which Fork Do I Use with My Bourbon?”

She also discusses some of the issues in the bourbon industry and what steps retailers and trade show pros can make to take women seriously in the whiskey world. She insists that producers don’t have to “pinkify” a product, and should instead ensure they’re making space for more women to ask questions about different products.

Bourbon Women will celebrate its 10th anniversary this year, with thousands of women now in its ranks. Since Covid, the team has shifted to virtual events that have increased access to bourbon education for hundreds of women, including past “Sip-posiums” and an upcoming Toast to the Tenth Celebration.

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Or Check out the conversation here

Adam: From VinePair’s New York City headquarters, this is “End of Day Drinks,” where we sit down with the movers and shakers in the beverage industry. So pour yourself a glass and listen along with us. Let’s start the show. On today’s episode of “EOD Drinks,” we’re talking with Peggy Noe Stevens, the first female master bourbon taster and the founder of Bourbon Women.

Bourbon Women is an organization for women who are passionate about bourbon culture, women, and the promise of adventure when the two are combined. It’s an independent forum that brings women of all walks of life together over a glass of bourbon with a focus on initiating, cultivating, and inspiring deep and meaningful relationships; encouraging the development of women personally, professionally, and courageously; and supporting members in their journey to become the best versions of themselves in the world of bourbon. Additionally, they provide a safe, inclusive environment for fun, discovery, and learning. This was an interview that we recorded with Peggy right before the holidays. So she also gives us a little bit of information on pairing bourbon with some of her favorite dishes. All right, Katie and team, take it away.

Katie: Hello and welcome to VinePair’s “End of Day Drinks” podcast. I’m Katie, I’m the editorial associate here at VinePair. And I’m lucky enough today to be here with Peggy Noe Stevens. Peggy, thank you for joining us.

Peggy: Oh, my pleasure. Happy holidays to you.

K: You, too. Peggy is the world’s first female master bourbon taster and the founder of Bourbon Women, which is the first women’s consumer organization in the beverage industry, so we’re really lucky to have her on. I’m also joined by some of my fellow editorial team. So Adam Teeter, VinePair’s co-founder. Hey, Adam.

A: Hey Katie, what’s up?

K: And then Cat Wolinski, who is VinePair’s senior editor.

Cat: Hey, everyone, and hello, Peggy. So exciting to have you on.

P: Thank you.

K: So, Peggy, we’re so excited to have you, especially right before the holidays, and talk about everybody’s favorite fall and winter drink — that is bourbon. And we all brought a bourbon drink today. Right? So I’m curious what everyone decided to mix up.

P: I got to tell you, I’m even more curious on what y’all gravitated towards. So I’m all ears. I’m all ears.

A: I’m drinking bourbon the way I normally drink it, which is straight.

K: And what bourbon did you choose?

A: What am I drinking?

K: Yeah.

A: I mean, Peggy, are you gonna get mad at me if I tell you — I’m drinking Evan Williams single barrel.

P: Why would I be mad about that? In fact, I think I’m a little jealous, actually.

A: I just find it to be like, an amazing bourbon for the money.

P: Absolutely.

K: Cat, what about you?

C: So I also usually sip my bourbon neat, but in the festivity of the podcast, I tried to make a cocktail really quickly. I was going for a Hot Toddy because that’s sort of my thing the past couple of weeks. But I didn’t really have time to make it hot. So I basically just tried to mix in a drop or two of honey into a couple of ounces of Rare Breed. And I expressed some fresh mint leaves and dropped them in there, and mixed it up with an ice cube. The honey did not dissolve, which is probably not surprising, but it’s actually really tasty.

K: That’s quite fancy for a last-minute cocktail.

P: I’m impressed, actually.

C: We got creative in all that time working from home. You know, it’s like this is my chance to have some fun and do something weird.

K: Totally. What about you, Peggy?

P: Well, I have been doing some blind tastings today because I’m a whiskey reviewer for American Whiskey Magazine. So when I do that and I’m just tasting straight, I always want a real cocktail after I do that. And so it was perfect timing for your podcast. And I made a black Manhattan. And what I love about those, it’s your typical add your bourbon, but I also put a little bit of bitters, some cherry syrup, and then I put some amaro and that’s why they call it a black Manhattan, because you just put enough to change the color of the cocktail to a darker color.

K: That sounds delicious.

C: I don’t think I’ve ever put amaro in my whiskey like that.

P: And that’s the thing. It’s so funny because I find out that so many people don’t because they do vermouth instead. But I was turned on to this, oh gosh, probably five years ago. It was actually another bourbon woman that taught me about it. And once I did, I was hooked. And it’s kind of my go-to cocktail these days.

K: That’s awesome. Well, I’m drinking some apple cider that I heated up and I just put a little bit of Maker’s Mark in there. It’s really delicious. There’s a place right near by me that smells like fresh cider. So I’ve been drinking it a lot, spiked and not, throughout the days here because it’s really cold. I’m in Colorado, Peggy. So it’s been snowing, and it just feels like the perfect winter drink.

P: That sounds delicious. Absolutely. I hear a lot of Toddies, of course, and I just wrote an article about warm winter drinks. So you all are right in line.

K: We’re on trend. That’s good to know.

A: Always good to know.

K: So, Peggy, can you talk a little bit about Bourbon Women? I know that bourbon is obviously a very male-dominated industry, so I’ve just been curious what it’s like for you to lead a bunch of women in that space. And how have you seen things change over the course of your time working in bourbon?

P: Oh, wow. Well, it’s been an evolution, and the best way I can say it is when I was young in the industry and I worked for major spirits company, I was a master taster, female master taster, and I would travel around and conduct tastings and largely 90 percent, if not 98 percent in the audience were male. And if there were any kind of trickle of women, it would be just a couple. But I’d never hear from them during the seminar. They would always come up after the seminar and I was really understanding their loyalty to bourbon, how they loved it, how engaged they were during the seminar, but they just never raised their hand. And so fast-forward to when I started my own company and the industry still really wasn’t having what I call a conversation with women. They were out there. So I conducted a bunch of focus groups throughout Kentucky and asked women, what do you want? You know, if there was an organization or a way that the industry would talk to you about bourbon, what would that be? And would you like it? And it was just overwhelmingly unanimous. And so Bourbon Women Organization was born right after that. And that has been literally 10 years ago. And I’m happy to say that we now have thousands of women across the U.S., some international, we’re celebrating our 10-year anniversary. We’re calling it a Toast to the Tenth in 2021. I’m glad it wasn’t in 2020. And we’re having a two-day virtual where we celebrate 10 cities with distilleries and we have formal branches in, a little bit over 10 now, like New York, California, etc. And I’m just so excited about the enthusiasm that these women have shown because we’ve conducted well over 250 events across the nation in that period of time. All lifestyle events, whether it’s cooking with bourbon, bourbon tastings, whiskey comparisons, we’ve had distillery speakers, master distillers come in and the women just love it. And virtually where we thought we were so disappointed that we couldn’t do our annual sip-posium. That’s “Sip-posium” in 2020 because usually about 350 women come in for an entire weekend for bourbon excursions and culinary dinners at distilleries and all of these things. It was OK because we ended up doing a three-day virtual conference back in August and our reach through that virtual conference — there’s always a silver lining to 2020 — really extended it to more women. So we don’t know what to expect at our next conference in 2021 because we had just so many women reaching out saying, what’s this about? How do we join? They just loved it. So I could not be more pleased with how the industry has supported us, helped fund us at these different events, and how the women have responded.

K: That’s awesome. And so you said that you’ve been kind of conducting that virtually, which I think is really cool because obviously it does help gain access for people who might not have been able to go travel. So I think that’s really awesome. I’m curious, as a master bourbon taster, first of all, if you could talk about — what does a master bourbon taster do, and how does that work during this virtual world that we’re currently living in during Covid?

P: Right. Well, first of all, I became a master bourbon taster. I was the first female master bourbon taster in the world, if you can believe it. That was back in the ’90s. And I remember almost taking a pause when they said, do you realize you’re the first one ever given this title as a female? And I thought that was, as excited as I was, and honored that I was, it was almost odd to me. Right, because I couldn’t believe that in the 1990s that we were that far behind. But what a master taster does, it can be different from distillery to distillery because that’s how we roll in our industry. And there’s master blenders, master distillers, and we each kind of do our own thing. The master taster is usually quality control, it is usually identifying flavor profiles within the whiskey to have the consumers understand what they’re drinking. And I would conduct tastings. I served as an ambassador for a particular brand for quite some time, and then in my own company, it became truly part of my business. Business being sourcing whiskey for different companies that wanted to start a distillery. I mentioned just a minute ago that I was doing some blind tasting. I do whiskey reviews. I’m a spirits judge and invited to many spirit competitions to really kind of profile different whiskeys and judge the quality of them. So a master taster can really envelop quite a few areas within the industry. And it’s been tons of fun. It has been something that I purely enjoy and have truly parlayed my love for a whiskey palate into food pairings with bourbon. And so that’s another passion of mine. And so I just came out with a book along with my good friend Susan Reigler, who’s also a spirits writer. It’s called “Which Fork Do I Use with my Bourbon?” Because people are almost gun shy. They think wine is the only thing that could ever go with food. And that is certainly not the case because bourbon is so complex. So we not only teach in the book the tricks of the trade, but how to conduct a tasting, what to look for in a bourbon, how to food pairing, how to entertain in your home using bourbon. So we kind of took everything that I’ve ever learned, I think, in bourbon and entertaining, and put it in the book so that a consumer could enjoy it in their own home.

A: So, Peggy, you’ve been around bourbon for a very long time, obviously very famous family connection to bourbon. I’m curious to really dig in here and talk about what the bourbon industry needs to do, and I think the whiskey industry, in general, to make itself more welcoming to women, because there are so many people that talk to us, readers who say, “I’m a massive whiskey drinker, but I just don’t feel like the industry ever talks to me. I don’t feel like the brands talk to me. They always assume that it’s just something that men drink.” And so what does the industry need to do better? And what do we as a publication need to do better in order to ensure that we are talking to women equally when it comes to talking about whiskey?

P: Well, I simply love that you’ve identified that and have asked that big, bold question. And there’s quite a bit that can be done. One of the premises, too, of the Bourbon Women Organization was not just to start a conversation with women and give what I call edu-tainment to women, but it was also to debunk the myth that the industry had. They thought that a woman, in order to drink bourbon, that they would have to dumb it down and make it sweeter and lighter proof and not so robust. And it was quite the opposite. So one of the things that we really dug into was research. And we conducted, again, blind tastings. We conducted tasting profiles based on a woman’s palate. And what we found hands down is that women across the board, this is no coincidence, liked stronger, spicier, higher-proof, and more robust whiskies. And so when we deliver that information, we kind of what I said, debunked the myth that’s out there to let spirits companies know, don’t dumb it down, you don’t have to “pinkify” it just for a woman to enjoy it, to make it more welcoming for a woman. And I’ll just take a quick example. Take your whiskey trade show. I have attended so many of those across the country and scores of men will come in, women will come in. And I have noticed that the representatives sometimes behind the table that are pouring the whiskey, they really pay attention to the men. And they’re pouring the whiskey and they’re talking to the men. And the women almost have to beg for a glass or say, “Hey, I’m over here.” And they need to identify with women when they are approached by a woman. To talk to them, to welcome them, to give them that glass, ask them if they have questions. Because what we have found is these women are no whiskey 101 people. They know their stuff. They are researchers, they’re educated, they’re working women. They study just like men do. Another area that I think is really important, too, is in the retail stores, especially when you go to a liquor store and a woman is going down the aisle looking at bourbons, to ask her if she needs any assistance and let her ask questions. That’s another area that I think is really important. Some of the events that we hold, we just did one, for example, with Four Roses. We call it the Sip and Stream. And we did a hand-selected barrel pick with Four Roses and bottled it and sold it in the liquor stores and it was specified to a women’s palate. We did another one with Maker’s Mark this holiday season. It sold out in two hours, a whole barrel of bourbon sold out in two hours by the women buying it because that shows passion. So I think the more we show the love that females can have with this industry and with a product, it’s quite profitable for the industry because we’re the other half of the population.

A: Exactly.

C: More than half, in most cases. I was going to ask, Peggy, what you think about the cross-collaboration with other beverage industries? Because today, we actually just published our 50 Best Beers of the year, and one of them was the Brooklyn Brewery Black Ops 2019 Vintage, which was aged in Four Roses barrels. And that was a really special treat for us to try and ended up in our top 50. And something we see a lot in beer, like bourbon-barrel-aging products, and we see it everywhere now, I mean, what’s your opinion on, is bourbon reaching beer drinkers that way, or is beer reaching bourbon drinkers? And then finally, what about bourbon-barrel-aged wines?

P: Well, I have to tell you, I think you struck a really hot trend right now, and first and foremost, I shall say I’m an equal opportunity drinker. I will have a beer, I will drink wine, I will drink my bourbon. So that’s good because we can all play together and we can play together very well between all the different industries. What’s a very hot trend right now are what is called “finishes” or barrel-aged products. In fact, I just wrote another article called “The Final Finish,” where a lot of bourbons are traditionally making their bourbon as they normally do, but they are sourcing different barrels. They might be an Armagnac barrel. It might be a Calvados barrel, it may be a rum barrel. And they’re doing a finish by letting the bourbon, some of the bourbon rest in that secondary barrel. And that is called technically a barrel-finished product. So with beer, using the interior of a barrel, we can only use in our industry a barrel one time. That’s according to our bourbon definition, white charred oak barrel, one time use. And then we sell it to people like wineries and tequila will buy bourbon barrels, the Scotch industry, etc. But what everybody needs to know is that usually up to 85 percent of the flavors, the best flavors of that barrel are given to bourbon. And then the used barrel you can still, of course, get great-quality flavor. It just takes a little bit longer. And because bourbon is complex and adds so many great congeners to beer, wine, etc., that’s why you’re seeing such a trend, because of our complexity. And there are some really great bourbons that are Cabernet-finished that I have tasted. There are really great beers that are bourbon-barrel finished. So I think it’s really insightful. I think it’s innovative, and I think we need to keep playing with each other.

K: So going back to something that you mentioned a bit ago, you were talking about how a lot of people think that wine is the only thing that you can pair with food, and that you completely disagree. You think bourbon can pair really well with food. Can you talk a little bit about some of your favorite bourbon and food pairings?

P: Oh, sure. It depends, of course. I love to pair bourbon throughout the course of the meal, so when I entertain in my home and have groups of people over that are bourbon fanatics, we don’t serve wine. I pair a different bourbon with each course and also with the appetizers. So we have a ton of fun doing that. But I would say appetizers to me are the most fun to pair because you can really get layers and layers of flavor. One in particular that I’m making for Christmas, it’s a Christmas holiday, one that I favor, it is a mushroom cap and I take country ham and Boursin cheese, which is kind of an herbed cheese, and I blend those together. I stuff the mushroom, brush it all with olive oil, and then I bake them until the cheese is kind of bubbly. And I serve that with a barrel-strength whiskey, because it is a very earthy flavor with between the country ham, very savory, and earthy again with the mushrooms. And then that herb cheese with the olive oil — it is just phenomenal how it harmonizes with that salty country ham. So you almost need, because it is so rich, you almost need a barrel-strength bourbon to almost cut through some of that savoriness. And what it brings to the table is this overlay of caramel note and vanilla note. So think about all the flavors that I just spoke of coming together and taking a bite of that.

C: That sounds delicious.

A: Yeah, you’re making me really hungry.

P: You know, that’s why I just love dissecting an appetizer and kind of breaking down all the flavors and then, you know, what to pair it with.

A: So you’ve obviously seen the bourbon industry evolve over the past few decades. What do you think is to explain for two things? One, just it’s explosive growth in general. And two, the recent sort of explosion of these certain bottles that become collector’s items and then the prices just become insane. So I’m thinking, obviously we all know Pappy Van Winkle, but, you know now it’s basically anything that comes out of Sazerac, right? It’s all of these different producers that I remember for example, I used to be able to buy some of these for 30 bucks, you know, five, six years ago. And now I can’t even find some of these producers on the shelves. What do you think is explaining all of that fervor around bourbon?

P: Well, I will tell you, going back, let’s say, to the mid-’90s bourbon, actually, I’ll go back to the ’80s, bourbon actually had a decline in the ’80s, and we weren’t doing a great job of marketing across the world. Globally, Scotch was kicking our butts, if you will. And so I think what happened in the ’90s, we started to see a resurgence and it was a myriad of things. It was the cocktail culture. For example, bartenders were starting to bring back some retro cocktails like the Manhattans, the Old Fashioneds, Highballs that demanded use of bourbon. And so I think cocktails really helped people gravitate back to bourbon. I think pop culture had a huge hand, like “Mad Men,” if you watched that, they drank a lot of bourbon.

K: Totally.

P: And so with all these influences happening, we became better marketers. We launched the Kentucky Bourbon Trail, which, it’s a bucket list thing to do now, where you can travel around to the different distilleries throughout Kentucky, I think we now have over 60 distilleries in Kentucky. So we just started to do a better job globally as well, breaking into markets, having other destinations. Japan especially fell in love with bourbon. So globally, we developed a better footprint in reach. And so that’s really — it didn’t happen overnight. And we’ve seen a trajectory. I think the Kentucky Distillers Association, about five or six years ago, did a 20-year trajectory that our growth would continue. And so far it has, so knock on wood. Now, the other side of the coin I think that you spoke about was limited expressions and exclusivity. That seems to be right now anyway, the name of the game. I think that scarcity of product like Blanton’s for example, you mentioned Sazerac. It’s really difficult to find right now and where once I could buy a case at the local liquor store.

A: Me, too!

P: And its fervor, as I call it, or fever, I should call it, of consumers who, it’s all kind of word of mouth. “Oh, this you’ve got to try this. They’re running out of that.” And also the distilleries now jumping on that bandwagon of limited expression. You see Woodford Reserve doing a bit of that, just saying we even put this in a smaller bottle because there’s only a limited amount. The more exclusive, the more people want. And that is my distinct impression. And there are, believe me, some bourbons out there that I just think are incredible that are worth the price of purchase. Peerless is making a beautiful rye right now. Colonel Taylor, I can’t even find myself.

A: I can’t either. I love Colonel Taylor, too. And I can’t find it anywhere.

P: Right. It’s exceptional, but it’s so darn hard to find. So even though those have become what I call “cult products,” you just wonder, though, when people kind of give up and say, we’re just going to have to start drinking something else because we can never find it. So when does the pendulum swing?

A: Well, and just as a follow-up there, that’s what I’m wondering. Because that’s what we’re hearing on the editorial side from Irish whiskey producers, from Scotch, again, who are starting to say, well, we’re producing liquids with age that is sometimes older than a lot of these 10-year-old bourbons people are going crazy for. And you can find us and we’re also 35 bucks. And is this our opportunity? And I think what you’re talking about here is really interesting, because the fact that you’re recognizing that that could be a problem, that that’s a threat for bourbon, that the scarcity that everyone’s obsessed with now could possibly hurt the category is really interesting to me.

K: Yeah, definitely.

P: Well, it’s my perspective, and they’ve proven me wrong many times, I’m sure. But my perspective is I think it’s really cool that people are excited about bourbon and exclusivity. I think it’s really exciting. It’s just at what threshold will a consumer stand back and say, we’ll wait for that whiskey to come out or we’ll wait for that — you know, I just don’t know that answer. It’s all in the eyes of the beholder. And I described it recently to somebody as an analogy of art. You know, I know that if I look at an art piece, it might touch me personally, but it might not touch my husband personally because he thinks it’s ugly. And so bourbon is kind of in the eye of the beholder, just like art is.

A: I like that.

C: So, Peggy, I actually have a question that’s taking the opposite perspective from long loved-legacy bottles. In the Bourbon Women group, how many people are you seeing who are aspiring entrepreneurs, who are looking to start their own bourbon brands or whiskey brands or launch another kind of business in this industry?

P: Many. Now, we are a consumer group — we just happen to have industry people that like us and join as well — but we are truly a consumer group. However, within that consumer environment, I know there’s a woman right now who actually retired from her first industry love because she fell in greater love with bourbon. And now she has a job in the bourbon industry. And we see a lot of that, that people have fallen in love with the culture. They had no idea that it could be a career. So we try to network women as much as possible. That’s part of our mission with Bourbon Women is to create a great networking resource for those young females. I was on the phone just the other day with another young individual millennial that is in a totally different industry, but she worked during the summers at a distillery, really wants to start a career in that. So she sent me a resume. I’m circulating her resume. We have those kinds of connections and we can’t do it, of course, for everybody. But as many as we can touch that are female, we do.

K: That’s awesome. Well, Peggy, thank you so much for coming today and talking to us about all things bourbon: Bourbon Women, bourbon pairings. You are clearly super knowledgeable about the subject and we were very excited to have you come. So we really appreciate it.

P: Well, I loved it. And if anybody is interested in joining Bourbon Women just go to BourbonWomen.org. You will see our February event Toast to the 10th on Feb. 25 and 26. And I hope everybody joins us. You’ll see what we’re about.

K: Great. Well, congratulations on 10 years, that’s so exciting.

P: Thank you.

A: Thank you so much.

C: Thank you, Peggy. It’s been a pleasure.

P: All right. Bye bye.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of “EOD Drinks.” If you’ve enjoyed this program, please leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts. It really helps other people discover the show. And tell your friends. We want as many people as possible listening to this amazing program.

And now for the credits. “End of Day Drinks” is recorded live in New York City at VinePair’s headquarters. And it is produced, edited, and engineered by VinePair tastings director, yes, he wears a lot of hats, Keith Beavers. I also want to give a special thanks to VinePair’s co-founder, Josh Malin, to the executive editor Joanna Sciarrino, to our senior editor, Cat Wolinski, senior staff writer Tim McKirdy, and our associate editor Katie Brown. And a special shout-out to Danielle Grinberg, VinePair’s art director who designed the sick logo for this program. The music for “End of Day Drinks” was produced, written and recorded by Darby Cici. I’m VinePair co-founder Adam Teeter, and we’ll see you next week. Thanks a lot.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article EOD Drinks: Peggy Noe Stevens appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/eod-drinks-peggy-noe-stevens/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/eod-drinks-peggy-noe-stevens

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mymemoirs · 3 years

Text

Unrecorded Memories and Missing Taiwan #4

I’m back again with the continuation from my previous posts! Although I need to admit that it does get boring that I have to write the same topic over and over again while personally wanting to write a different post (literally been itching to write something new), but I don’t like the idea of not finishing this post series till the end (just because it looks great to have 1, 2, 3, and so on side by side without having something unrelated in between).

If I have to describe my last two weeks in Taiwan, I would say that it’s just like a holiday rather than a summer exchange program.

Me and My Roommates: Karen, Vincy, and Iris (from left to right) in Gaomei Wetlands

12) I have never mentioned my dorm roommates in my previous posts, that’s because they just moved in when I’m on my last week of AI program. I was actually quite busy with the AI studies (yes, when I get back to my dorm, I do try to revise what the professors have taught us) and trying to blend in with the students in my class that I didn’t have any time to hang out with my roommates. I feel bad for always rejecting them whenever they ask me out. They were really kind to even include me in most of their outings.

Since I lived in a room for 4 people, I have three roommates and they were from Hong Kong. Their names are Vincy, Karen and Iris. The three of them join the same summer program class and they’re also from the same university. Although they said that they didn’t know each other yet before this program, they were so close together. Maybe having a lot of similarities help them bond. Vincy and Karen were from the same major which is social work, while Iris came from journalism major. Among the four of us, Vincy was the oldest as she is a senior (class of 2015) while the rest of us were juniors (class of 2016).

13) I think I started going out with them after my AI summer class ends. Every time we didn’t have any class trip on the weekend, we would plan our trip around the city. My friend, Iris, were like the tour guide among us because she was always the one who plan out our day (researching the best routes and where we should go)

I also get to befriend Singaporean friends, Jasmine and Hui En, who also took the same class as my roommates. They came with us during one of our trips and that was the time I were introduced to both of them.

14) Our first trip, if my memory still serves me well, is going to various places during the weekend. We went to Taichung Old Train Station, which is a heritage building and the trains are still operating in there! I forgot if we went there by bus or taxi, but I think it’s more likely by bus.

Taichung Old Train Station can be seen together with modern buildings.

Since the EasyCard/ Youyou Card that is used in public transportation allows a free 10 Km of ride by bus, we didn’t spend a lot. In fact, when I was there for a month, after buying the card for 100 NTD and depositing another 100 NTD (I think?), I had never recharge the card again. Some people say, they can even not recharge it for a year or so if you just make use of the 10 Km free ride (if you know what I mean).

15) After that, we went to ride the bus to our next destination which is the Miyahara Ice Cream Shop. When we get there, there was a long queue line and it was packed with people. The shop is one of the tourist spot in Taichung and besides selling ice cream (duh), they also sell souvenirs and other delicacies like traditional cakes and so on. The shop is quite big and if we go further inside beyond the ice cream display, we can see a souvenir shop like below. The interior of the shop also gives off a Harry Potter vibe which is really cool and could also serves as a potential photo spots (although it would be hard with the place being packed with tourists).

Inside Miyahara Ice Cream Shop where they sell their various souvenirs

It was a good experience overall. You would think that a long queue would mean waiting long but since I came with my friends, time flies so fast. We were also given a menu to choose and tick off while waiting in our queue, so we were really busy debating what flavor we would want to try. Pst, by the way, they also give out unique toppings for the ice cream. I have to admit that the ice cream is quite expensive but worth it for the size and taste. I especially love ice creams so when we arrived there, I was really excited (hahahaha!).

16) For our lunch, we went to a mall to find a place for us to eat together and ended up with an Italian themed restaurant, which is one of the most expensive meal I had in Taiwan. Fortunately, we split it among the six of us and shared various menus ranging from main dish to dessert. I think it’s also the main reason it’s expensive, we ate 6 different dishes with 3 of them in large servings. For those who’s interested, the name of the Italian restaurant is called Miacucina located in Shin Kong Mitsukoshi Taichung. However, I don’t recommend eating here if you want to eat on budget.

The Ice Cream Waffle shared between six people

17) Another destination for our Saturday Adventures is the Gaomei Wetlands in Taichung. We went there using taxi because we didn’t want to run late especially since we wanted to be there before the sunset. Aside from wetlands, there’s also a Wind Turbine. In fact, one of the bus station near Gaomei Wetlands is called Wind Turbine No. 18, which is also around the location where we alight. I remembered walking through the bridge, but I think to get to Gaomei Wetlands, we need to take a shuttle bus or walk more to get there.

We took a photo on the bridge viewing the Wind Turbine (Strong Wind!)

After arriving at the Gaomei Wetlands, we need to cross a wooden jetty to actually accessed the wetlands (wet feet here I come!). This is because below the jetty there were baby crabs and we were not allowed to walk there for fear of crushing those precious lives. There were even staffs who’s guarding it, sometimes blowing his whistle when he spots someone trespassing. We were there for a limited time because we need to beware of the high tide after certain hours.

When we get to the end of the jetty, there were a lot of shoes left there because we all wanted to get into the wetlands and it would be a no go if your shoes get wet too. This is where I think I made a mistake on my choice of outfit that day, because as you can see I was wearing long black jeans. So, I had to roll my jeans up but thankfully because of the low tide, our feet didn’t get too submerged into the water. I took a lot of pictures and videos that day because of the unique experience. TBH, I rarely took pictures of my activities but I just had to that day because it was an all new experiences for me.

You can even bring your dog there, because I’ve seen one or two dogs walked by their owners. We even had the chance to actually take pictures with the cute dog and it was taken by the owner who later send us the pictures.

This is one of the pictures I took when I reached the wetlands. Most of my picture were backlighted so this is the best one among the others.

18) After watching the sunset for a while, we went to our last destination. I think we took a taxi to the night market. I forgot which night market it is but I think it should be Yi Zhong Night Market. We had our dinner there by indulging ourselves from one stall to another. I also tried Xing Fu Tang, my first brown sugar bubble tea, upon my friend’s recommendation and it was only around 50 NTD (which is much cheaper then the Xing Fu Tang on my country). The first time I tasted the bubble tea, I came to love it so much for its rich and surprising taste. It was sweet warm caramel at the top and cold milk tea at the bottom, it was mixed together but in a good way. However, when the franchise is available on my country, it wasn’t as good as the first time I tasted it. I wonder why.

Pedestrians @ Yi Zhong Night Market

19) So that’s it for our Saturday adventure! After walking for a few hours tasting snacks and delicacies we found on the night market, we went back to our dormitory by bus. It was exhausting to walk all day outside, but I really enjoy going out with them because there were a lot of places I wouldn’t go if it weren’t for them and they were fun to converse with. I also am not confident enough yet, to go solo travelling in a country foreign to me so I was really grateful.

That night, we took a late night bath and I for one were taught on an early age not to take a bath late at night because it was not good for our health but because of our activities, I had to. Fortunately, the dormitories in Taiwan provide water heater (All hail water heater!).

While we’re on the topic of ‘bathing’, I just realized this after observing my roommates for a few days, they tend to take a bath late at night before they went to sleep and they didn’t take a bath early in the morning before they go out. They just wash their face and did their makeup. I was actually very surprised with this since all three of them did it. So, I was intrigued to ask them about it and they explained that since they took a bath last night and going out will get them dirty, so why bother take a bath before going outside? Instead, they would take a bath before hitting the hay because that way the bed won’t get dirty. I thought to myself that their reasoning makes complete sense to me too apart from my own reasons to take a bath twice a day. It was trivial but I think these small things shapes our cultural behavior and it was actually interesting for me know that people from different country have different ‘normal’ too. While I think taking a bath twice a day was normal, it was not the case for my roommates.

I guess I’ll continue my ‘Sunday Adventure’ with my roommates in the next post because I think this post has been too long. There were a lot of places we visited that eventful Saturday and I had fun reminiscing about my trip. Since today’s Saturday, I think it’s the perfect time to actually post this! So, enjoy~!

PS. It has been so long since I write and this post have been on my draft since forever! I had been busy trying to find jobs (but not lucky yet) and tried to make my time more meaningful by studying online.

#Taiwan #Taichung #Summer Exchange

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