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fumekara · 3 months

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ALL THE THINGS I HAVE DONE (Part 2)

SatoSugu x Gn reader

Plot: Your relationship with the strongest sorcerers in Japan was falling apart after they yelled at you and broke your heart.

n/a: English is not my first language, there will be a final part of this writing experiment, I am not very satisfied with how it came out.

Tw: A lot of angst, season 2 spoilers, mention of sex, polyamorous relationship, mention of the death of one's pet, the reader has a cat, in this version Geto is a sorcerer.

If you are sensitive to mourning for your pets, do not interact with this fic.

WC: 1.9K

Click here for part 1

You had lain down and held Nuko in your arms the night you found him under the bed in the guest room and, without your noticing, you had fallen asleep, but no one seemed to care, Sutoru and Suguru had not come to wake you up to join them.

You were sure they were still angry with you for what had happened the night before and you didn't want to think about it, since you now had another problem to deal with, Nuko's.

He wasn't well, not at all, you could see it from the way he was lying on himself, the way he avoided moving and the way he occasionally meowed as if to warn you that he was still alive, for now.

You stroked his back and he let you, after all he couldn't do much.

Suddenly you heard the sound of approaching footsteps in your room. Immediately you rolled onto your back and pretended to be asleep.

When Suguru and Satoru entered your room, trying to make as little noise as possible, Nuko lifted his head as if to find out who was interrupting your fake sleep.

You felt their weight sink into the bed when they sat beside you and then you felt a hand gently stroking your back.

"Y/N?" Satoru called you in a low voice. You didn't answer hoping that would be enough to convince them to leave you alone.

"We know you're not sleeping," Suguru said as he approached you from the other side of the bed, being careful not to crush Nuko with his weight.

"How did you know?" you asked resigned by the fact that it was now useless to pretend.

"Your breathing was too irregular, that's not what you do when you sleep. We know better by now after so long sleeping together." you heard Sato chuckle as he rested his head on your shoulder. He was uncertain of the movement because he was afraid you would reject him because of what happened yesterday, but when you didn't he kept to your side.

Suguru who was in front of you removed a lock of hair from your face very gently, as if you were made of glass, the same gesture you had made to him yesterday, and it broke his heart when he thought back to how badly he had treated you after you had given him a taste of your love.

You reached out your hand again, but not to return the affection of the two men beside you, but to stroke your cat again, who was taking quick, heavy breaths.

"He's sick" you broke the silence.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Satoru looking at Nuko.

"I don't know, but he doesn't eat, breathes poorly and sleeps all day." You rolled onto your back and the white-haired man pulled away from you to give you space.

"Is that why you didn't sleep with us last night? Or even because of what happened yesterday?" asked Suguru worriedly, but you had a hunch he was using it as an excuse to criticise you.

"What do you mean, that I use my cat being sick as an excuse not to sleep with you?" you asked without hiding your irritation.

"I didn't mean that, we're just worried."

"Really?, so why didn't you come to wake me up if you care so much?" you sat up and so did they. "Don't pretend you care so much, I know you don't" you spat, by now you had a feeling you didn't care what they thought anymore, not after the words they said to you last time.

"Y/N, we do care about you. We came here to apologize to you," Satoru told you, trying to find the right words to keep you from getting angry.

"We went too far yesterday, Y/N, we shouldn't have treated you that way" Suguru picked you up and made you rest your head on his chest and shortly afterwards Satoru joined in the hug "We are sincerely sorry for what happened".

You felt the strong urge to cry and let them wrap their arms around you, but part of you did not believe their words. By now it seemed to you that they were only pretending to really love you. All you had been thinking about for weeks was how you felt like the third wheel in your relationship, as if they were only with you for convenience, because you were fun for them and not because they cared about you.

The way they talked to each other, cuddled and had fun without you had started to make you feel insecure about your role in the relationship with Suguru and Satoru, even though those moments made you suspect that they didn't really need you, it still remained an assumption. But you also suspected that they were more aloof and impatient with you in a different way than between the two of them, and yesterday's discussion and the fact that they didn't want you with them in bed seemed to have awakened in you the confirmation of your worries.

"How many times do we have to go through this again?" you said trying to hide the urge to cry "Now you apologize, but I know it will happen again in the future."

They looked at each other not believing your words.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" asked Suguru.

Then you confessed: "I am not part of this relationship.".

"Yes, you're part of it, we love you Y/N," Satoru told her by taking her chin mat so she could look straight into your blue eyes "I know what we said to you was mean, but you mustn't think we don't love you just because we had a fight once. We..."

"It's not just that" you interrupt him "I watch how you treat each other and you don't do it the same way you treat me. It's not the first time you've made me feel clingy, when you often do things as if I'm not there, when you change the subject as soon as I butt into the conversation or when you get nervous about the smallest things I do." you continued "I feel like that all the time, when we're together, when we talk to each other, even when we make love I feel like I'm just a fun for you, not someone you love."

After you opened up to them, your boyfriends stared at you, not believing what you had just told them. They were not sure what had made you doubt the love they both had for each other, but they thought back to the fact that the two of them had known each other longer than you, worked together and always together had faced so many problems and dark pasts that, although they had hurt them deeply, they had learnt to face them together and, no matter how hard you had tried to support them, as they had supported each other in the darkest moments of their lives. You were not to blame, they were simply part of a world of which you were not and could not be a part.

Together they faced the death of Haibara and Riko and both shared the scars that had been inflicted on them by Toji Fushiguro. For years they supported each other and loved each other unconditionally, sharing everything with each other, everything they loved most, including you.

They loved you, really loved you, but they knew that they had both shared something in their experience as sorcerers that had allowed them to strengthen their bond and their love, but they had left you behind.

They both did not know what to say because they knew that was the truth. The only thing they felt able to do was to hold you in their arms again, this time with more strength, with more affection, as if they did not want to let you go. Their faces were buried in you, Suguru in your back and Satoru's in your shoulder, and you heard them crying.

"I have to take Nuko to the vet. But I think there's not much to do with him," you said, letting a silent tear slide down your cheek.

"Let us take you," Satoru told you, holding you tightly, rubbing his head in the crook of your neck.

"No, I need to be alone," your voice broke. By now you knew you had lost the boys you had fallen in love with and you just wanted to run away.

By now you could no longer contain the tears that fell uninterruptedly from your eyes, they let you go, and as you left the room carrying Nuko with you, you heard their sobs and your heart broke.

______________

And now here you were, in the driveway of your backyard sitting on the seat of your car holding Nuko's yellow collar.

You had been there for fifteen minutes already, but you hadn't yet made up your mind to get out and go into the house; you didn't know how you would face Satoru and Suguru. You were afraid that after all you had confessed to them before you left them alone in tears it would be the final turning point that would end your relationship. You didn't want to hurt them, just the thought of making them cry made you feel bad, you loved them, you loved them so much and you would probably separate.

You took a couple of deep breaths and got out of the car.

After entering the house you closed the door and took off your shoes still holding the collar.

You had been out of the house all day and by now everyone must have gone to sleep. The house was silent and shrouded completely in darkness except for a light coming from the kitchen.

As you silently entered you saw Suguru and Satoru sitting on either side of the dining table who, as soon as they noticed your presence, although you could glimpse tiredness and sadness in their eyes, tried to show you their best smile.

They had been waiting for you.

They both extinguished their smiles when you approached them pointing out the traces of crying on your face, and only then did they realize that you had returned alone.

You sat by Suguru's side with Satoru facing you and placed Nuko's collar on the table, letting them know that your cat was gone forever. Suddenly you felt tears fill your eyes again.

"Oh love, come here," Suguru hugged you, while Satoru got up from his chair to join you and do the same. You stayed like that for you don't know how long, despite everything that had happened, they were there for you at that moment, just as you were always there for them when they needed you. They let you cry and vent, hugging you as if to protect you from all the evil in the world.

At one point you felt your body lift off the ground, you didn't know if it was Satoru or Suguru holding you, but you buried your tearful face in his neck as he carried you to the bedroom.

They laid you in the middle of the bed and held you close all night, even when you all fell asleep together.

Perhaps there was still hope between you, perhaps all was not lost.

Click here for the final part

Tag: @tatahungry

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anachilles · 1 month

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hi :)) "you'll always be safe with me" for clegan from the prompts list, please?

helloooo! and thank you; hope you enjoy! 🫶 prompt lists i'm currently accepting requests from: [ x ] [ x ]

In the rare moments of stillness in the days following Gale's capture and transport to Stalag Luft III, when he wasn't being poked, prodded, provoked, frogmarched, interrogated, shoved on a train, or barked at by smug, self-satisfied looking German officers, he'd strenuously willed himself not to give into the very basest, most selfish instincts he possessed and wish that John was there. He didn't wish that, not on John, not on anyone, of course he didn't.

He willed himself not even to wish, more abstractly, that they were at least still together wherever that happened to be, somewhere he could keep John in his sights and be secure in the knowledge that he knew where he was and that he was okay. Even that would be tempting fate.

Nowhere was truly safe in this whole bloody affair, not with the job they'd undertaken, but Thorpe Abbotts sure beat a Nazi POW camp, thousands of miles from home.

Those days were some of the loneliest Gale had ever felt though, and the more the adrenaline wore off, the further his usually rock-hard resolve started to weaken. Suppressed, unbidden thoughts of home and comfort and familiarity sprang up like weeds between cracks in the concrete sidewalk, and really there was only one way that line of thinking was going to go.

Savouring the mixture of pain and pleasure, the way they intermingled, fed each other and drove the other forward, had always been more John's thing than his own. Gale, however, had no choice but to appreciate the burn as he watched John half-stumble into camp a few days after his own arrival, a niggling twinge in the back of his mind that somehow he'd willed it himself, damned him to whatever bleak, listless version of life awaited them there.

For a moment though, that was rendered undetectable by the force of John's smile as their eyes finally met, by the way it lit up Gale's chest and made warm what had been for days left barren and cold.

With John in such bad shape physically, Gale's stomach turning every time he looked too long at what the makeshift camp doctor had surmised was an orbital fracture, and infection having been given the chance to set in on his journey there, he was confined to a newly commandeered bunk soon after his arrival.

For the whole first day, Gale didn't leave his side. The other boys said nothing about it, their deferential fondness shining in all the water bowl refills, errand running, and fortifying shoulder squeezes that allowed him to do so. Through tending to his fevered brow with a wet rag, and in between the passages of a novel Gale would try to read when John once again slipped out of lucidity, he was plagued by churning thoughts of just what the hell the other man had to have went through to have gotten there as banged up as he was; what untold horrors he must have seen, or had to have endured himself. John had been in no rush to tell him, not that Gale could blame him, but the chasm of the unknown left opportunity aplenty for worry to fester.

When it periodically threatened to overflow, Gale's free hand would find its way to John's chest, his breaths coming easier at the steady, if shallow, rising and falling under his palm.

He was still in that position on the floor at John's beside, backside numb and limbs stiff and sore, when one of the camp guards stuck their head in, ordering lights out. He couldn't bring himself to get up right away though, John having managed to fall into another uneasy sleep, but with his hand laid resting on Gale's arm.

Though the thought of leaving him unwatched to the mercy of the night was repellent, resigned, Gale first tried to pull himself up into a crouch without having to move his arm, give the poor man's peace another couple of seconds before risking disturbing him. But with even with the mere twitch of a movement, with surprisingly quick reflexes for a man as sick as he was, John's hand, bruised and calloused, shot out and caught Gale by the wrist. His left eye fluttered open, though was was hazy and barely seemed to register Gale with any precise focus, a pained, decidedly discontented "hm" of disapproval escaping escaping from his lungs, a glaringly uncharacteristic, vulnerable little sound that went straight to Gale's chest and dropped right on target.

It wasn't quite close enough to deep winter for the plausible deniability that it was too cold to sleep alone, but if any of the men felt at odds with the way Major Cleven slipped into Bucky's bunk that night, no one vocalised it.

The night grew into the small hours and all the others were long asleep, but Gale found it illusive, not that he was trying overly hard. A tentative hand to John's forehead came away roasted, he was still slipping in and out of consciousness, and he just couldn't bare the thought of John waking up in any way alone.

It left the door open for his mind to let in errant, sentimental thoughts, soaked in concern and set alight by his own exhaustion, and Gale shimmied a little tighter into the line of John's side, splayed his fingers against John's side and let himself be what he hoped to be a brace for the other man to lean on, rest his weariness on and let Gale take some from him.

He was there. Use him; take what he needed from him, because there was nothing Gale wouldn't give him to get him even one step further, to undo even some of the hurt that had come to him.

Gale swallowed hard. When he spoke, he hadn't even stopped to consider the words before they'd demanded to be said.

"You'll always be safe with me," Gale softly murmured but resolutely into the inch of space between his lips and John's cheek, not quite brave enough to chase the promise with a kiss, but lowering his face down into the dip of John's shoulder all the same.

He wasn't quite sure if he believed them all the way, the oppressive recognition of where they were bearing down upon him, but that didn't mean that he meant them any less.

#clegan #buck x bucky #''short little thing'' me: writes nearly 1000 words lol #i'll try and be briefer with the rest of these #but also i'm just riffing lol #my writing

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blackopals-world · 9 months

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Pen to Paper

Writer!femYuu and NRC students

(+Grampa Trein)

Yuu didn't have much to offer this world. There wasn't much she was good at. All she had were loose stories she vaguely remembered from her old world. She just wanted to remember that world. (Bare with me. I'm trying to convey this as best as I can with a kind of meta subject)

Trein made his assignment easy for the week. Just write about an interesting event from their homeland.

But Yuu didn't know much about this world and while it might have been interesting stories within it she could help that she had no connection to it. She felt it when she thought about her world. Or worlds to be exact.

She had asked Trein to help her due to her lack of knowledge.

"I simply asked for you to write about the lands you come from. If you come from another world it's all the more reason to write about it." rein said gently. He could probably see how much the assignment troubled her.

Yuu wondered what her classmate would think about her home and her old life. Still, she decided to write.

It was hard to explain but she started where she began.

In a land, in a kingdom, in a city, in the heavens. This was where she was born. In the land of gates, Halos.

The floating city was the center of the many realms that bordered it, it was also called the Nexus. It was a given that it's people were called "Travelers", those who dedicate their lives to seeing worlds unknown.

The young girl loved her home and never wished to leave. Even though she watched her friends come and go, she couldn't bear to.

But staying had a cost. Unlike the others, she never gained abilities bestowed on them as rewards for journeying into the unknown. She didn't even have wings to fly like the others.

One day she was given no choice but to leave. Life in Halos was becoming dangerous. To escape she was forced to jump through a gate and sent to another realm.

Trein skimmed the pages again. Was that it? That's not even a full story.

"Miss Yuu. You put alot of thought into this I'm sure but this isn't even a complete story." Trein only glared skeptical when Yuu smiled meekly.

"Well that's the thing. This story is called "The unfinished ballad" it's one of the first stories of my people. It's also the first story children learn." Yuu shyly rubbed the back of her head as she spoke. She knew this story the most considering how popular it was.

"It's supposed to be unfinished then? What kind of story is that? Not to be rude but I've never heard of something like that." Trein had seen many things but never heard of a culture like that. It certainly sounded like another world.

"Yeah, some stories are left unfished for a reason. One, to remind people that not everything has a conclusion, and two, so that we can write our own endings. For thousands of years, my people have rewritten and remained the story and what happened next. Everyone has their own version." Yuu reasoned. She had never thought of it as strange. This world was different so they had different ideas.

Trein while he understood still wasn't satisfied. He let it go regardless but encouraged Yuu to tell her stories regardless.

Though he wondered if her story was true or a fairy tale.

"And Molly turned to the giant after she crossed the bridge the wight of a single hair and yelled. Oh, and Molly could yell!" Yuu took in a deep breath. "Never more churl, I'll come to Spain! I've come and I've bested you thrice."

All the children cheered as Yuu waved her hands around.

"The giant still angry at the little thief shook his fat fist and yelled, 'I'll get you Molly Whoopy! Never you terry here again or I swear I'll eat you from tips to toes'!" The children jeered and laughed at Yuu giant voice.

A little later story time was over and the kids had left the library. Yuu dusted off the chalkboard that had read "Tales from the Other World: Damsels causing Distress." It was her biweekly presentation of stories from her homeland.

As she cleaned up her props she heard a shifting behind her. When she looked up it was a few of her classmates "Rook, Kalim, and Cater" an unexpected but understandable combination. They hung out apparently. The strange part was why they were here. They weren't exactly library types nor had kids to take here.

"You didn't think I'd find you here huh freashie?" Cater teased holding up his phone to show her the library's magicam promotional post with her in the picture.

"How did you manage to find this place?" Yuu asked sheepishly.

"I'm very good at finding you." Rook smiled wryly.

"I just tagged along," Kalim added.

"And now that I posted your adorable little show everyone will know!" Cater teased holding his phone up to show her.

Yuu flushed in embarrassment. Everyone would see her talking in silly voices and waving puppets around.

"Carter you should ask to post stuff like that." Yuu's nose crinkled in frustration.

"That's not fair. The library has videos of all your shows, why can't I?" Carter argued.

"That's different, it's for the kids who can't come to all the shows. Besides no one at school could find them unless they already knew about it but everyone knows your socials." Yuu crossed her arms.

"Yuu. It's time to go." A voice interrupted.

Trein stood behind the group with Lucius trotting behind him. He had been the one to help Yuu set up the show with the library after Yuu expressed an interest in telling stories. It was after she started staying with Trein and babysitting for his granddaughters.

"Oh, sorry. I need to grab my props and I'll be right there."yuu said before waving goodbye. "Can we stop at Ana's bakery before we get home?"

"Only if you don't give any to Lucius. Even if he begs." Trein warned.

The video circulated over the weekend. Almost everyone in school had seen at least one of the storytime videos. Everyone wanted to hear more about this world with stories they had never heard. Each story had a preface about the region and the history of its origin and even if unintentional it was educational.

Next week's show was "Over the Hills and Through the Woods"

Yuu held her breath when she realized how big the crowd was with families faces watching.

She pretended not to notice Ortho sitting up front with the kids who sat criss-cross applesauce on the colorful paymat.

Riddle also sat close to the front since the rules stated that the shortest goes to the first. The parent usually hung back at the tables so no to get in the way.

Even Leona was present though he appeared to not really care along with Ruggie. Jack on the other hand was laser-focused on Yuu as she moved her props. Perhaps he knew that the first story was "The Wolf".

"Gather around children and listen to my tale, of a little girl who walked through the woods," Yuu said mysteriously as the lights dimmed on queue. "Stories about children getting in trouble then they wonder beyond their yard are common across the world and it's no different in mine. But today's tale comes from a storyteller I once met."

Yuu tapped a button and suddenly music began to play.

The music was light and festive like a carnival.

"It was the folktale festival held in town and everyone young and old was there to share and tell their tales. From encounters with kings to meeting the fea everyone had a story." At the fea line the dragon and bat fea perked up a bit.

"I was eager to hear a certain teller and was running late because I just had to get the last turkey leg before anyone else got it. Unfortunately the crowd was so big and not even a mouse could squeeze by." She emphasized the word by squishing her cheeks.

The teens in the crowd wouldn't admit it but one of the reasons they were there was seeing how cute Yuu was when she acted for the show. From the funny voices to exaggerated movements.

"There was only one path that cut through the grass but the sign said no walking on the grass. And well I didn't walk. I dashed. But soon enough I learned how important rules are. Just like someone else in our first story." With that Yuu picked up a small basket and inside was a a red scarf. She wrapped it on her head and began .

"Once there was a girl from a village of people who only wore fine red clothes. Scarfs, hats, coats and hoods. The little girl was packing her bag to visit her grandmother who lived in the woods but her mother pulled her by her hood. The mother wore a beautiful scarlet scarf that she never removed and told her daughter. Don't travel in the woods after dark. The wolf will snatch you by the head and nothing will be left. But Red shook her head. I won't mom I promise. It's still light and I will be quick." Yuu clicked her tongue and the crowd knew what to expect next.

"You see Red didn't believe in the wolf. A wolf hadn't attacked in many years and certainly not during the girl's lifetime. So she had no fear but she didn't want to worry her mother. And off she was. Over the hill and through the woods to grandmother's house she went, but as she went further the woods got darker and quieter. Until she could only hear the sound of blood in her ears and her own heartbeat. As if time had chosen to spite her and rush forward the sun was setting faster. And faster. " the story had begun to take a darker turn and everyone was on edge. "But the night was lovely. She smelled moonlit flowers and hopped over bubbling streams. The air was crisp. Fireflies dotted the air. She wondered why her family hated the night so. What beauty it held."

"The shadows grew longer and the moon had taken the sun's place. And yet she heard nothing. Not even the snap of a twig. The bath grew longer and twisted unfamiliarly. Yet the girl was enchanted. What fun! What adventure! Then she heard it. Breathing. Like puffs of air on her neck. Hot like the lick of flames. Red didn't stop walking knowing that hesitation meant death." Yuu paused.

The audience stared in breathless expectation. Trying to figure out what comes next. Does the girl die? Does she live?

" Then it was gone. The air was cool and all was calm. Then she saw the hazy light of a little cottage in the woods and she ran to the door that opened to a kind old woman in a red scarf. She called to her grandmother and they hugged. They ate dinner and Red washed up for the night. And as she lay and bed she spoke. What a night I had. I traveled through the woods at night and there was no wolf this time. I knew that it was nothing. But as she turned to sleep a shadow in her window spoke. It's red piercing eyes gaping maw open in a sneer." Yuu held a breath before continuing in a deep voice "Oh, but you must travel through those woods again and again... said a shadow at the window... and you must be lucky to avoid the wolf every time... But the wolf... the wolf only needs enough luck to find you once."

The room was silent. The children looked on in shock, fear and amazement. Parents nodded along in amusement knowing a good scare could stop their child from doing something wrong.

Jack liked that story, alot. In fact the Savanaclaws found the story to be something worth hearing and hilarious. Leona would have liked it better if the girl got eaten.

Riddle liked the lesson most.

Floyd and Jade also liked it and compared it to the "Wolf eel" a mer version of the tale. It was far more bloody.

"That's why you must listen to rules my dears. Something I learned as well. When I tried to cross the grass as I dashed and scampered. But every step didn't get me any closer to the tent I wanted to go to. It was as if I was going in circles as I heard the singing from the music tent I felt like I had just passed. Suddenly I saw myself walking toward a different tent a bright red one with yellow trim, green ropes, and blue stakes in the ground that was on the grass. I didn't realize it at first but as I sat down for the show everyone else in the tent was not people like me. They had bright colorful hair, hooves, horns, wings, and other non-human traits. I was in fact among the fae. Not totally uncommon in my realm but usually the stuff of storytellers only. Hardly unusual here but the fae of my realm are different from yours plus that's hardly the most unusual people I've met. I once got invited to a banquet of demons and angels just to settle an argument but that's another tale. I stayed and listened to their stories as they welcomed me. We laughed, danced, and shared more tales still. When it was time to leave I said my goodbyes and left the tent. And the festival grounds were empty even though it would be three more days until was over. I should have known better than to party with the fae when I had plans. I never got to listen to the storyteller I wanted to meet. That's another reason we follow the rules." Yuu said finishing the first round of stories.

The crowd laughed seeing that Yuu was more concerned about missing an event then being trapped with the fae.

Another reason to come to these shows is Yuu's personal stories were so wild. No one knew if they were true or not. If you asked she'd say the same thing "Truth is stranger then fiction."

(I finally freed it from my drafts after months. And I swear my dyslexia is getting worse.)

#writer!yuu #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu #mozus trein #twst trein #twst jack #jack howl x reader #jack howl #cater diamond #twst cater #twst kalim #kalim al asim #twst leona #leona kingscholar #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #rook hunt #twst rook

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alectoperdita · 1 month

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For the ficlets request, 'meeting upon the threshold' more in that universe of DSOD Kaiba realizing what the could have had and now he fucked up or just jealous DSOD Kaiba . (hope all is well with you sending all the good internet vibes)

Oh anon, I hope you were ready to receive a full-ass sequel chapter. Hope this satisfies your prompt(s). 🥺 They gave me a lot to think about (lol obviously, based on how much I wrote), and it's driving me more insane with yet more to consider. For now, I yeet this for peace of mind.

Read "Meeting upon the threshold" on AO3

word count: 4281 rating: M tags: post-DSOD, Kaiba being an asshole, one-night stand, open ending, mild sexual content, anal sex, unprotected sex

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The forbidden fruit of knowledge sat with him—day after day, then week after week, festering with the sickeningly sweet scent of onsetting rot.

He should've discarded it. As soon as Isono, knitted brows visible above the lip of his sunglasses, handed him the dossier he'd requested, he should've ordered it disposed of. Kaiba recognized his employee's confusion, even concern. He even felt a bit of it toward himself. It had been years since he'd shown any interest in someone on the mortal plane who wasn't an active security risk, much less in Yugi's ilk.

Kaiba lost track of Yugi years ago when he retired from dueling.

But that was what made it confusing. Kaiba hadn't requested information on Yugi, but Jounouchi fucking Katsuya.

As much as Kaiba refused to admit it, his meeting with an alternate version of himself, one engaged to Jounouchi, haunted him. He spent more time than warranted replaying the encounter again and again in his head, searching for any hint of disharmony simmering beneath the surface. They might be blissfully happy or lying to themselves in a sham of a relationship. But Kaiba couldn't tell because he didn't know them.

Not anymore than he knew or understood the Jounouchi of his universe, no matter how much dirt Isono and the security team dug up on the man.

The files sat in a drawer in his office, the digital copy in his email. Against his better judgment, he'd pull it up and review the content every few days. After the first week, he practically had it memorized.

By the end of the second week, its luster grew too bright, too deceptively tempting, to ignore.

Call it a capitulation to curiosity; a momentary weakness. Either way, he counted on it finally purging his fixation.

Kaiba was ready to forget the unfortunate detour and move on. Put everything he saw of the other Seto and his fiance and bury it in a mental compartment never to be unearthed again.

Again, Isono demonstrated mute surprise not only because Kaiba left the office early in the evening, but the slight lift of his eyebrows said he recognized the address Kaiba requested to be driven to.

His bodyguard knew better than to say anything, though. If he hadn't made a peep when Mokuba divested from the company and moved to America, why would he start now?

Jounouchi, the other Jounouchi's words rose unbidden in his mind: "You already pushed everyone away, haven't you?"

Kaiba shoved the memory aside.

Traffic was light as they made their way to the old commercial district. Thanks to stubborn neighborhood associations, new development had stalled in this area compared to the rest of the city. The businesses here were family-owned and run by old timers more concerned with nostalgia than progress.

Time was on Kaiba's side. He could wait them out.

Really, he wasn't surprised Jounouchi opened his establishment here. If only so he could be another thorn in his side.

The first time he saw it in Jounouchi's files, he'd laughed. The sound resonated through his office. Never in a million years would Kaiba have pictured Jounouchi as a small business owner, especially given his rather spotty employment history. But a death in the family, and not the one everyone would've guessed, had gifted the man an unexpected windfall.

The restaurant license was legitimate. Kaiba checked twice.

Removed from the city's more vibrant business and entertainment districts, the neighborhood resembled a slice of time crystalized in amber. Its vibes were positively sleepy, and its streets were devoid of pedestrians. Hardly bustling. Kaiba doubted any business in the area qualified as booming.

He sneered. Appropriate—a third-rate restaurant in a deadbeat part of town, run by a deadbeat.

"Stay here," he ordered Isono when they stopped at the curb. "I'll call if I need anything."

Isono nodded. "Understood, Seto-sama."

Jounouchi's little restaurant was located down a narrow side street, on the ground floor of a similarly narrow two-story building with a slatted wooden roof. The place was little more than a hole-in-the-wall, with only enough seating to serve maybe half a dozen people. Perfect for a one-man operation.

Kaiba didn't hesitate before ducking under the entrance curtain. Red and patterned, it was surprisingly traditional.

"Welcome!" rang through the small shop. The lone figure behind the counter dipped into a deep bow. His voice was immediately familiar to Kaiba, almost instantly transporting him back more than a decade.

The shop's proprietor, Jounouchi, straightened. Something jangled against his chest, a long necklace slipping out of his collar. Kaiba's blood pressure spiked before he realized they were dog tags hanging from it.

Not a ring on a chain.

Slowly, Kaiba uncurled his fists, one finger at a time.

Clearly, Jounouchi remembered him too. Of course he did. Kaiba's presence in Domino was not one that could be ignored. His face was frequently plastered on billboards and featured in local and national media. Yet Jounouchi gawked, nonetheless.

It was amusing to watch the myriad of emotions flashing across Jounouchi's face—the shock, the confusion, and finally the outrage. Satisfaction welled inside Kaiba.

"Get lost," barked Jounouchi once he recovered, reaching for a knife before thinking better of it.

Kaiba did not. He crossed the threshold and took a seat at the empty serving counter directly in front of Jounouchi.

Up close, he scrutinized the other man in return. Seeing Jounouchi in real life didn't compare to the covert surveillance shots. The dark bandana around his head kept his blond hair under control. Navy chef's jacket and a white apron; he at least dressed for the job. His face was the same, more or less, yet his jaw cut sharper, the underside of his eyes darker, and his brown eyes less mirthful.

There were faint remnants of his once youthful boyish charms, but he was undeniably older now.

As was Kaiba.

But some things never changed between them.

"Is that any way to greet your customers?" he drawled, a familiar smirk lifting the corner of his lips. It was almost comforting, like slipping into a well-worn sweater.

Jounouchi clenched his jaw, the muscles jumped visibly. "I'm doing the neighborhood a favor and running off the vermin."

Kaiba's gaze darted upward. As he saw from the surveillance photos, Jounouchi indeed boosted an eyebrow piercing, two red studs framing the top and bottom of his left brow. Combined with his pierced earlobes and the short ponytail, he hadn't made a clean break with his delinquent past.

But maybe Jounouchi's lady friends appreciated the vaguely thuggish look. Or his boyfriends, if this universe's Jounouchi had similar tastes as his counterpart.

Seto couldn't be sure. The dossier reported next to nothing about Jounouchi's romantic relationships beyond his current singlehood.

As he met Jounouchi's gaze, his smirk widened, displaying every tooth possible. "Funny, that's what I figured you served in a shitty establishment like this, grilled vermin."

To his surprise, and perhaps even disappointment, Jounouchi didn't rise to the bait. Instead, he calmly gestured to the wooden plaques hanging over him. "I'm sure a smart guy like you can read."

Kaiba scanned the offerings. He didn't frequent establishments like this, as he preferred Western cuisine. The menu boasted the usual assortment of grilled meats, seafood, and vegetables, along with some ready-to-serve appetizers. The rest was a limited alcohol menu. When his gaze darted back to Jounouchi, he folded his hands on the counter and said, "Chef's choice."

For a second, Jounouchi didn't move, barely twitched as he took a shallow breath. Then, his expression steeled itself in preparation to meet Kaiba's unspoken challenge, and he burst into a flurry of movement. For a moment, he disappeared behind another curtain divider and emerged on the other side of the counter with a tray.

"Your otoshi," Jounouchi grumbled when he set a trio of small plates, a sake cup, and pourer down in front of Kaiba. He leveled one last glare before returning behind the counter.

Kaiba tried not to snort. Picking up his chopsticks, he poked at one appetizer, strips of braised burdock root and carrots. It looked correct and smelled fine. The texture crunched as he sank his teeth in, while the flavor was both sweet and savory. Out of the corner of his eyes, he spotted Jounouchi pausing in his other preparations to watch him chew.

Kaiba swallowed without comment, and poured sake into the serving cup. Well aware of Jounouchi's lingering gaze, he threw it back in one gulp.

The sake was nothing special, nothing to write home about, but its crisp taste complemented the braised vegetables' flavor.

Their eyes locked as Kaiba lowered his cup. Jounouchi broke eye contact almost immediately, brows knitted as he concentrated on his knife and cutting board. He wielded the blade with confidence and ease, making straight cuts that sliced cleanly through a small horse mackerel. There was already other food cooking on the grill. Kaiba could smell it from across the counter that separated them.

If anyone walked in on them, an outsider might think they were nothing more than a cook and his sole customer. Despite the casual air Kaiba affected, he watched his every move. Jounouchi wasn't the sort to poison his food. Probably. Jounouchi didn't lower his guard, either, carrying his tension in shoulders and jaws despite his smooth and controlled movements.

The image of the other Jounouchi came to mind unbidden. Kaiba wondered what he did, if he even worked or if he mooched off the other Seto's good grace. It was hard to imagine Jounouchi, any Jounouchi, as a kept man, simply because he shouldn't have that sort of appeal. Compared to the other Jounouchi with his bright eyes and well-fitted clothes, the one native to his home dimension was rougher around the edges. Not just in how he kept his appearance, but also in his mannerisms. Like Kaiba, Jounouchi had also filled out since their teen years, namely in the chest and arms. The muscles in his forearms flexed as he worked his knife and grill.

After several long moments of silence, Kaiba couldn't hold his tongue any longer. "It figures this is the kind of cooking you took to—grilling meat on a stick. Positively caveman."

Jounouchi stiffened. He bristled, red creeping into his cheeks. He bit his tongue and said nothing, though. Instead, he plucked two skewers of seared meat and delicately placed them on a serving plate. He didn't touch the prawn and fish still on the grill.

Balanced on a wooden paddle, Jounouchi presented the dish to him across the counter. "Chicken hearts," he said gruffly.

Kaiba arched an eyebrow. Did Jounouchi mean to imply something by his choice of meat? But he took the plate with a neutral expression and, as much as he hated to admit it, the smell had him salivating.

He'd skipped lunch. It was the only reason the deadbeat's cooking seemed even remotely appetizing.

This time, Jounouchi made no effort to hide his staring, studying Kaiba as he ate.

Whatever Kaiba's usual culinary preferences, well-seasoned and well-cooked meat had universal appeal. The food settled heavy in his belly, warmed by sake. The otoshi and the alcohol had served their purpose, whetting his dormant appetite.

There was nothing to criticize. Not the flavor. Not the presentation. Not without lying outright or, worse, nitpicking. They both knew it, too.

Most infuriatingly, he wanted seconds.

Chair legs screeched as he stood. Without counting, he threw a handful of notes on the counter, easily three or four times what the modest meal was worth. Jounouchi made no moves to stop him, but his eyes drilled into Kaiba's back as he stalked out of the restaurant.

***

He should've thrown the files into the shredder the next day. He didn't look at them again, but their presence weighed upon him.

Later the same week, he ducked under the curtain to enter Jounouchi's robatayaki shop again. Two older diners, neighborhood retirees, were already seated at the far end of the counter, making friendly conversation with Jounouchi as he cooked for them. Jounouchi was nothing but smiles and laughs for them, beaming as if Yugi sat across from him.

Like leaden weight, the mirth dropped almost instantly from his face when he spun to greet Kaiba.

"Welcome," Jounouchi said flatly, drawing curious glances from his current customers.

Ignoring the pricking sensation, Kaiba sat at the opposite end of the counter. Jounouchi took his sweet time before suddenly appearing at his side and serving him a trio of compulsory appetizers and sake, like last time. To add insult to injury, he went straight back to his other diners without even trying to take Kaiba's order.

Frowning, Kaiba picked at the otoshi. Today's selection included chilled mung bean sprouts, kimchi, and potato salad, and the sake was warm. Same as last time, the food was palatable, probably even tasty to more pedestrian taste buds.

Every so often, a burst of laughter disturbed Kaiba, causing him to shoot daggers in Jounouchi's direction before he caught himself and forced his eyes back to his food. By the time the deadbeat acknowledged him again, Kaiba's sake had cooled entirely.

"Whaddaya want?" asked Jounouchi, voice flat and without mincing words.

They both knew he wasn't asking about what Kaiba wanted to eat. What did Kaiba want with Jounouchi? Why was he bothering him again?

Kaiba had no sane answer to give him.

To spite him, he ordered one of every item on the menu. His stomach churned unhappily at the prospect of so much food, but he refused to allow Jounouchi to intimidate him.

The chef boggled at him for a second before snapping out of it. "Your funeral," he said with a shrug before walking away.

Plate after plate, the food kept coming. By the third one, Kaiba felt ready to vomit. Instead, he left the food untouched as it piled up next to him, focusing on the alcohol instead. Time simultaneously rushed past in a torrent and crawled like molasses. It lost all meaning, reminding Kaiba of the limbo he crossed to and from Aaru. The only constant was Jounouchi, hovering right on the edge of his perceptions but otherwise refusing to engage with Kaiba more than strictly necessary.

Not unless Kaiba called to him, and he refused. People tripped over themselves to serve Kaiba, not the other way around.

Eventually, Isono came to investigate when he failed to respond to his texts. Slamming his palms down on the counter, Kaiba knocked over his chair when he shot to his feet and stormed out, leaving Isono to settle the bill.

He swore he'd never go back.

The same night, he dreamed of the heat blasting out of the charcoal grill, the dots of sweat running down Jounouchi's neck when he hunched over the fire, and large hands wrapped around the handle of gleaming knives skimming Kaiba's underbelly.

***

"Seriously, why are you here?" groaned Jounouchi. "Why are you haunting me like an evil spirit?"

Kaiba could ask the same of himself. Why did Jounouchi, first the other Seto's smooth-faced fiance with his soft hair and softer mouth, and now this rough but sure-handed Jounouchi occupy so much of Kaiba's thoughts?

Kaiba had lost count of how many times he'd been a patron of Jounouchi's restaurant. Their interactions may have thawed somewhat, but they were, by no means, friendly. At first Kaiba lingered after closing time for petty reasons, forcing Jounouchi to close and clean around him. Last time, Jounouchi plopped down next to him with a can of beer instead, complaining and insulting Kaiba the entire time. More sake bore Kaiba through the experience. Plus, it was nothing Kaiba hadn't heard before.

Tonight, Jounouchi had deflated. His face was almost haggard under the warm yellow light, nooks and crevices exaggerated by the shadows within them.

Kaiba felt as tired as Jounouchi looked. In the end, they were nothing more than two browbeaten men.

"Well?" Jounouchi demanded when Kaiba didn't respond. "Usually, you can't shut the fuck up, but now nothing? Not a damn peep?"

Kaiba hummed and sipped his sake. His tongue lapped the last drops from the cup. He licked his lips absently, noting how numb his tongue felt.

Jounouchi stared, his eyes as scorching hot as burning coal.

Kaiba did it again, and Jounouchi's eyes narrowed in anger? Suspicion?

Lifting his chin high, he smirked. It was always satisfying to needle the other man. "I don't have to explain myself to the likes of you. But it's certainly not for the pleasure of your sparkling company."

Jounouchi swore and lumbered to his feet. Kaiba watched, a passenger in his own body, as the other man stepped behind him and loomed over him, bracing the counter's edge to cage him in. "You're a shitty liar," he accused, so close Kaiba could smell the malt on his breath. "I dunno exactly why, but you're here because of me."

"You think too highly of yourself. You're a nobody."

Kaiba's head spun. Must be the sake he drank.

Jounouchi didn't back down. Kaiba wondered if tonight might end in a brawl. He could break Jounouchi's nose and give him a taste of the iron Kaiba found in the hearts and gizzards he served up. Jounouchi could turn his knife skills on a target capable of fighting back. And if they could walk away afterward, they could never see each other again.

Warm fingers nudged his chin, tilting his face up to allow Jounouchi to scrutinize him. Up close, his eyes resembled whisky, dark and honeyed. Blond fringes, dark pierced eyebrows, crooked nose, full mouth—when considered as a package, even Kaiba admitted it was not unappealing.

But Kaiba had better tastes in food and style. Better standards for people and the partners he kept in his life than Seto.

Jounouchi was fit enough to fuck, nothing more.

"Is this how you bewitched him?" he snarled, unable to stop himself from canting toward the other man.

Jounouchi blinked, then laughed, incredulously. "I can't believe it. There's no way we share an ex. There's no way that's why you started coming here outta nowhere. You're drunk, Kaiba. Call Isono so he can take you home."

He rolled back on the heels of his feet, preparing to draw away. To leave. To dismiss him.

Fueled by impulse—insanity, Kaiba spun in his seat, chasing him. His hands moved without his command, fingers closing around Jounouchi's chin in an iron grip and yanking him down to him. Their teeth knocked before their lips met. But Kaiba didn't release him, squeezing Jounouchi's jaw hard enough his own ached in sympathy.

A sharp inhale, and Kaiba instinctively tensed. This Jounouchi wouldn't hesitate to lay into him or perhaps gut him for an unwanted advance. But when he unfroze, he didn't shove Kaiba away, instead meeting him head on with surprising fervor. Kaiba hissed, both from the counter now digging into his back and the stinging nip of Jounouchi's bite.

The kiss he stole from the other Jounouchi remained fresh on his mind, as if it happened yesterday; mint-flavored, supple yet soft lips, and a hint of crisp aftershave, faded though it might've been.

Sweat and smoke clung to Jounouchi, and he tasted of beer. His lips were slightly chapped. Fingertips fluttered across Kaiba's cheeks, ears, hair, and neck, never settling on any spot for more than a second before soaring off. His hands were everywhere, roaming over Kaiba's body as if he was entitled to do so.

It made Kaiba light-headed. Good thing he was already sitting.

Heat. Spit. Teeth. The hint of copper on their busted lips and warring tongues. The unforgiving plains, peaks, and valleys of their bodies grinding against each other, like the catastrophic collision between tectonic plates, upending worlds and locking together for minutes that felt like hours and days.

They didn't so much kiss as fight to devour the other.

They broke apart, wild-eyed and chest heaving. They remained physically connected; Jounouchi's hands were now on his hips and Kaiba clasping his strong jawline, absently caressing the rough grain of his late-night stubble. Jounouchi licked his lips, and Kaiba mirrored him, causing the other man's eyes to darken further.

After a beat of hesitation, as if he was waiting for Kaiba to deny him, Jounouchi leaned in for another kiss. It was softer, reminding Kaiba of another mint-flavored one. But he kindled the embers of Kaiba's want as deftly as he fanned the flame in his cooking.

Something roiled deep in his gut, something familiar as he often felt it when he saw Jounouchi these days.

"I'm hungry," Kaiba muttered against the other man's warm mouth. "Why else would I bother coming here?"

They both knew he wasn't referring to food, though.

Jounouchi shivered. "Got it. Let's take this somewhere private."

***

They didn't need to go far. Jounouchi lived right above his humble shop, a fact Kaiba already knew from his background check. He didn't get to see much of it as they stumbled in the dark from one room to the next, hands clawing at each other and mouths biting one another. They fell in a similarly tangled heap into Jounouchi's futon, already spread open on the bedroom floor.

The slob must've never put it away after getting up in the morning.

But in this case, it was convenient. Kaiba didn't want this encounter to last longer than strictly necessary. So he was secretly glad when Jounouchi went down on him without asking. In the dark, he concentrated on the warmth and suction enveloping his cock. He could almost forget, forgive, it was Jounouchi Katsuya blowing him.

Jounouchi turned out to be quite talented at fellatio. Perhaps this was the reason the other Seto wanted to marry his Jounouchi.

A cackle bubbled in his throat; more madness. He swallowed it and slammed into Jounouchi's spasming throat, drawing a choked groan from the other man. The other sounds he made, the slurping and slobbering, were disgusting, but they made Kaiba even harder. They drove him to the brink of madness and back again.

Want, lust, want—they pounded on the back of his skull and throbbed in the base of his spine.

Grabbing hold of Jounouchi's ponytail, he yanked him off his cock. The hair tie came loose, spilling soft strands over Kaiba's fingers. He wove his digits through them and pulled again. Jounouchi moaned, low and wanting, going limp in his grip.

"Degenerate," Kaiba growled while his heart raced in his ears. "Do you want me to fuck you, Jounouchi?"

He felt, rather than saw, Jounouchi nod.

This was a mistake.

The words blared repeatedly in his brain like klaxons, but he ignored them. Just as he ignored his better sense protesting the lack of condoms and Jounouchi's pained grimace as he pushed into his achingly tight hole for the first time. Kaiba was clean, and if Jounouchi dared to give him anything other than an orgasm, he'd destroy him.

"Kaiba, move!" groaned Jounouchi, writhing under him. "C'mon, I ain't gonna break!"

Gritting his teeth, Kaiba shut out the rest of his thoughts and focused on the only thing that mattered at this moment: fucking Jounouchi. There was little tenderness to their coupling, though. No honeyed words or promises exchanged as he imagined their other selves might, their limbs twined together and sharing the same breath.

The pleasure was still real. It was enough. He lost himself in the other man's heat and tightness, gorging himself on his wanton moans and the flavor of his lips and tongue.

Soon, it was over, a flash in the pan, with semen cooling between their clammy stomachs and leaking from Jounouchi's ass when he pulled out.

He sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, held it—dreading the change in the world; in himself to come—and released it before he dared to look down.

A diagonal slash of moonlight illuminated Jounouchi's eyelashes, his crooked nose, and his kiss-bruised lips. His eyes were squeezed firmly shut, peaceful if not for the furrow between his brow. As Kaiba counted the rise and fall of Jounouchi's shoulders while he caught his breath, however, nothing stirred within him—no newfound affection blossoming within his ribcage, no epiphany on how any version of himself could care about this man enough to want to marry him. No hate or disgust, none of the previous passion and hunger either.

Everything evaporated. The air between them hung stale and still, reeking of old cigarette smoke and poor decisions.

Instead, the hollowness in his chest was vacuous, and a bone-deep fatigue flooded the empty cavern.

Stupid, idiotic, he scolded himself.

Why would sex with Jounouchi change anything?

Rolling away, Kaiba grabbed the nearby discarded cover and cleaned himself wordlessly. It'd have to do until he got home. He didn't look at Jounouchi while he tucked himself away and fixed his appearance, even if he was within arm's reach.

The floor creaked as he stood, and he bit his tongue to keep from swearing. But Jounouchi didn't shift—never spoke to stop him as he beat a hasty retreat to the exit.

Pausing at the threshold, he glanced backward at the shadowed lump of the half-naked Jounouchi curled on the futon, with his back facing the door. They both knew he was still awake. But what was there left to say to each other? Nothing of consequence. Nothing which changed who they were and weren't to one another, two strangers who were barely acquaintances, hardly lovers. Kaiba showed himself out without a word of goodbye, only a faint snick as the door swung closed behind him.

---

Notes: An otoshi is a "compulsory" appetizer, which mainly means it's not free like you would see in some Western restaurants where they serve you bread and butter or even banchan in Korean meals. They are usually smaller dishes prepared ahead of service, like edamame or kimchi. Customers are billed for the otoshi. It is treated almost like a cover charge to ensure the customer doesn't occupy a seat for a long time after ordering one drink. Jounouchi gave it to Kaiba on purpose, so he's obligated to pay for something even if he doesn't order any food.

While this is basically a second chapter, I wonder if I should publish it on AO3 as a second chapter or as a separate fic. But maybe Meeting upon the threshold is better off without being attached to this sense of non-resolution? I'm curious to hear people's thoughts! <3

#fic: Meeting upon the threshold #yugioh #puppyshipping #violetshipping #kaijou #my fanfiction #replies #anonymous #writing prompts #pray the other ones don't turn out this long #but also don't be surprised if i keep futzing with this and fleshing it a bit more before it's posted to AO3 #but i needed to get something out just so this would stop eating my brain and i could work on other things

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wistfulwatcher · 1 year

Text

"at least natalie's death was narratively satisfyin—"

no. it wasn't. they gave us a character who has struggled with addiction her whole life. struggled with self-harm in a variety of forms. who has felt lost and guilty for the last twenty-five years. a character who has been suicidal multiple times in the past, a character who was literally suicidal a week ago.

and you killed her a day after she started to actually, truly try to heal.

yes, this show has always been dark. yes, from the first moment of the entire series we knew these girls committed unspeakable violence on one another, and did so ritually. yes, we knew that the adult versions of these characters spent the last twenty-five years struggling with their guilt and shame and trauma, and were doing it very, very poorly.

all of this just shows that the story has been in their struggle. this has been—or at least it was initially sold as—a show about women and their trauma. a show about women who don’t know how to examine their trauma, don’t know how to process it. who can’t take more than small glances at what happened, but who can also never, ever forget that it’s there. this has been a show about women who are coping, most times poorly, but very, very realistically.

and there was so much hope in that, despite (or because) this is such a dark show. these women can screw up and struggle and be real people—which women never get to be on television—and still maybe, they can heal bit by bit. there was always an inherent hope in this story, because they were all still, as adults, trying to make a life for themselves even if they were muddling through it.

in season two, natalie starts to heal at the retreat. (apparently—i personally found her 180 between "qui" and "burial" highly suspect and very poorly executed, but that's a moot point now.) she spends most of the season struggling against lottie, but finally accepts lottie's therapy (thanks to lisa) and beginning with "burial" she keeps trying to get the girls to talk about what happened. she figures out what she needs to move forward—to finally, truly address what happened in the wilderness by talking about it. that becomes her goal, and her focus with the others.

but natalie doesn't get to talk about anything. the girls want to drink instead of talk in "burial". and in "it chooses," the second nat suggests they talk, lottie shuts her down and suggests they drink poison instead. natalie is sober, and trying to do what she thinks she is supposed to do by confronting her trauma. she has made all of the "right" choices to actually heal from her pain, but she never gets to.

natalie’s entire story line, set up in her very introduction in the pilot, is to find her purpose. she talks about her self-destructive behaviors being due to her lack of one, and makes it clear that she intends to find that purpose once she leaves therapy. thus, for natalie’s story to be narratively satisfying, her story needs to end with her finding that purpose, right? which means that, if we are to treat this as a narratively satisfying ending, then natalie physically sacrificing her life for lisa is supposed to be that purpose.

but death is not a purpose. and, to portray it as such for a character who has tried to commit suicide is, honestly, disgusting to me. especially for a character who was saved—again, a week ago—from her attempt by the very woman who then encourages her to drink poison that is used to "put animals out of their misery". who is then told in her death vision to “let the wilderness in” (when "the wilderness" has been a pretty clear metaphor for trauma!!!). they spent all season telling a suicidal character to suddenly let go and give in and stop resisting in a narrative that leads to her “””finding purpose””” in her fucking death. not to mention letting that death be recorded as "an overdose" after she has been explicitly sober as part of her growth!!

a far, far more narratively satisfying path for natalie is for her to actually find a purpose that is consistent with the hunter-protector she’s always been described as. in “no compass” tai says that natalie is the reason they all made it out of the wilderness. (again, wilderness as a metaphor for trauma!) so why, on earth would the better story line, the more consistent story line, the more satisfying story line—especially when this show is all about parallels and cycles repeating—not be natalie leading them all out of “the wilderness” by helping them process the trauma? by getting them all to talk about it?

(i didn’t necessarily need or expect yellowjackets to give a truly “good” message or resolution—bittersweet would be plenty for me—but can you imagine the beauty of that story? the character who has felt nothing but pain and guilt, who has been alone for the majority of her life, who has never felt good and stable love, being the one to break through the trauma first? the one who finally learns to heal first, and protects them all once again by leading them through the wilderness? a story of a woman supporting women through trauma that only they can understand?)

instead natalie's story goes from struggling with her pain and guilt, to trying to find some purpose in her life, to losing that purpose and attempting suicide, to being saved and actually starting to address her trauma head-on. and then dying before she can. i'm sure there are some people who believe that this is character growth (the briefest moment of addressing her trauma), but it wasn't; her growth is blunted by her death.

and this makes her death both tragic and unsatisfying. a character who struggles so hard and so long, who finally, finally sees a light, and the moment she reaches for it, is shifted back to where she was a week ago, having never gotten to actually grow.

so no, just because i am personally devastated by nat's death does not mean that i am blind to the narrative; quite the opposite. i am furious both as a fan of the character and a fan of the story. i feel deceived, disappointed, and insulted by every single part of this story. i feel like we were all cheated out of what could have been a beautiful exploration of a complex and fascinating character. and on top of all that i am very, very hurt.

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets meta #natalie scatorccio #anti yellowjackets #yellowjackets critical #i'm so sad and mad right now i'm shaking tbh #mine #wordles #~#suicide cw #addiction cw #I AM FUCKING FURIOUS

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rock-and-roll-hell · 11 months

Text

July 25, 1980

Unmasked Tour

Palladium - New York City, NY

Eric Carr's live debut with KIϟϟ wearing the first version of his "Fox" makeup. While heavily featuring the 1979 and 1980 studio albums, it is somewhat strange to consider that the set included three covers: "2,000 Man," originally recorded by the Rolling Stones; "New York Groove," originally recorded by Hello; and "King of the Night Time World," originally performed by the Hollywood Stars (though never commercially released). "Is That You?" while not written by the band had also not been commercially released by the writer or other artists. The only United States "Unmasked" era concert and contemporary performance of material from that album. This show marked the live debut of three songs from "Unmasked" including "Is That You?," "Talk To Me," and "You're All That I Want." The Palladium was the renamed Academy of Music, where KIϟϟ had made their industry debut in December 1973. KIϟϟ spun their appearance at a smaller venue: "It was a night of nostalgia for Ace, Paul and Gene. And a dream come true for Eric Carr. KIϟϟ planned a special performance at the Palladium in New York to introduce Eric to its staunchest home town fans. There was very little publicity. The one-night-only show was mostly a word of mouth affair. Although small for KIϟϟ today, the hall was chosen for sentimental reasons. Most of the fans, as well as the band, were remembering the historic night KIϟϟ played its first important New York performance on that very stage... the show was a resounding success".

From local press: "KIϟϟ performed at the Palladium on Friday night, which was unusual; the group usually plays venues the size of Madison Square Garden. Slipping popularity may account for the Palladium date to some extent, but KIϟϟ could certainly have filled the theater several nights running and chose not to do so. The show's primary purpose seems to have been the introduction of Eric Carr, the new drummer, to the band's hard-core fans. A few diehards yelled for the departed Peter Criss, but not for long. This listener kept trying to remember what Mr. Criss used to sound like, but the effort proved fruitless. Before long, he became accustomed to Mr. Carr, who played a somewhat elaborate drum kit and was sometimes a little floppy but kicked the music along nicely. The band had installed its flashy stage set and resorted to a number of its tried and true visual gimmicks, but with the scale of the event reduced, one tended to focus more on the music. It wasn't bad. It was heavy-handed, macho to an almost comical degree, rife with bombast and excess, everything one expects heavy metal to be, but the playing was tight -- much tighter than the last time the reviewer heard KIϟϟ, at the Garden -- and most of the songs weren't padded with unnecessary solo noodling. Whether KIϟϟ fans will take to Mr. Carr remains to be seen; one would think they'd be satisfied with Gene Simmons's tongue-wagging and fire-breathing and Ace Frehley's flaming guitar. In any event, and for what it's worth, Mr. Carr's addition to the band seems to have been a positive step, though it isn't likely to make KIϟϟ' music 'genuinely important to life'" (New York Times, 7/27/80).

Another: "Carr proved to be a capable drummer but no Peter Criss. The show wasn't quite the visual extravaganza I'd anticipated, nor was it the Sodom and Gomorrah meets 'The Night of the Living Dead' I'd feared. Instead, it seemed like the 'Wizard of Oz' gone awry" (Aquarian).

From a mainstream review: "It was apparent from the appearance and playing of Carr that KIϟϟ one of the most successful rock acts of all times, was not taking any chances with the music or the formula now that original drummer Peter Criss has departed for a solo career... So it was almost the typical KIϟϟ show. But with the new drummer now more in the background, the focus was more on the front three... And although performing on a smaller stage than usual, the show was basically the same" (Billboard, 8/9/80).

From a regional review: "KIϟϟ concerts are a little like Christmas. The anticipation is half the fun, and everyone was up for this one... KIϟ�� crashed through their 20-song set with the delicacy of a chain gang" (London, CT, The Day, 8/1/80).

#kisstory #kiss #1980 #unmasked #eric carr #ace frehley #paul stanley #gene simmons #kiss band #kiss army #the fox #the spaceman #the starchild #the demon

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34saveme34 · 3 days

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Okay so, Thing I realised today

buckle up, it's gonna be something

classic smg34, right?

what do you think of when you remember classic smg34? Angst? Enemies to lovers? Hate so strong could only be love or whatever the name of the trope is? Wrong!

Obsession.

Like, I think he still is, and even the first time we see him, as in 3, his fucking debut episode, albeit he's not that far gone there yet but the beginning of it is right there

he loved 4's content so much, in reality he was trying to make his content so much like 4's as a love letter

no- not that way

like how FNF is a love letter to Newgrounds

except he fuckin sucked at it and it just turned into copying

but like think about it, after that happened, he got obsessed with 4 so much, not just out of hate and to be better than him and all that enemies bullshit but also because he still really admired him and I think he still found it fun to be around him, he just didn't want to admit it (him feeling nice around 4 can also be another thing of their link if we include modern34 as well) because- that's admitting defeat. he's also like, a loner of sorts or at least before all of it, he didn't really have like, a friend to JUST have a friend

even with Bowser, they were kind of friends out of working at the same job so like- and also the dynamics there I bet he wasn't satisfied with

like I bet even beside Bowser he felt lonely, and definitely partly because he way too obsessed with 4 to realise that he actually had people in his life

like lowkey his life kinda crumbled out of his grasp then because he let his obsession with 4 get this much to his head, to the point of doing things without planning even- I mean, I bet he didn't plan to EAT the god damn youtube remote

and like you can kinda see the same thing with his heist gang who were replacing the others in Youtube arc, he didn't care to be a good leader, all he wanted is to satisfy his obsession with 4, which is probably why that crew like, didn't get to grow a stronger dynamic, HE was the weak link in all of this and made the team like that

And now you might be asking, what does this has to do with Trash Friends?

You see, before genesis kicked off and like the whole 10 year anniversary

like AGAIN, AUGh AGAIANNNANANANANANanAN

I mentioned this before and I still hold to it, 3 got to redeem himself not because of suffering, but because of finding an outlet for himself- that ISN'T 4!! He didn't take over the Graveyard to take revenge on 4, he took it over because 1, it was kinda his destiny and 2 because he had to survive somehow and he found purpose in it

And now, shit mellowed out BECAUSE he wasn't so obsessed with 4 anymore, at least not like that

which meant he wasn't in 4's shadows anymore

even though the universe paired them up (in more than one way :3) he wasn't just 4's obsessed kind of stalker anymore

AND NOW- why oh WHY is Trash Friends so significant? Because 3 is fearful and lives in the past

"You are just a worse version of me" it's like he's recalling the past, he doesn't want to go back to that, to go back to the old ways when 4 didn't consider him a friend, he's so so scared of fucking that up and like- like like like- if we go further on this, isn't it so obvious? They're both like, anxiously cling onto the past, even though they've grown now, they keep regressing because of the fear

and I think- I think Trash Friends started to remedy it

BECAUSE it broke the cycle. 3 opened up, 4 realised how he's been thinking in the past too and probably felt awful for it

I don't think it SOLVED it persay but it definitely started to

like I do wish we saw a little more of that with the 2 like, even if just for a tiny scene, taking their time to communicate

because I'm prrretty sure that was what Trash Friends was supposed to be starting

and not gonna lie, probably why we get the silly videos with them working together

but I do wish wish wish we saw a little more of them talking about it

But I can definitely say, there's still things they need to discuss, things to fully get over and to get stronger together, especially pointing at SMG4 simulator with 3 seemingly being an epic rare special catch of sorts and YET still being negative points and also the timer skipping 34, like 4 is trying to push aside his feeling for 3

which is why I think if they do it right with the right things, smg34 becoming canon could be one of the most natural processes of SMG4 history

And thank you for reading! Hope I got you convinced :33

#smg4 #smg34 #nicc-thinks

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coldfanbou · 10 months

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Contract (Fem Reader Version)

To the person that wanted it. Here's your fem reader version of the first contract part. It's a little bit longer than the original. I tried my best.

Sana x F reader

Length 2K

You were saddened by the news of your father's sudden passing. Most of the funeral planning was done without you as you traveled back home. The long flights and delays kept you for far too long. The day of the funeral came, and you're set to be seated next to a young woman you don't know. As you greet the other guests, she comes up to join you in doing so. You look her up and down, and while she is beautiful, she’s still a stranger. You ask her a question when there's a break in the guests. "Who are you?"

"Minatozaki Sana. Your father's widow. So I take it you’re his daughter?" She says with a satisfied smirk.

You're taken aback at Sana's claims of being your father's wife; he had always said he would never remarry. After a second, you respond, "Yes, I am. I wasn't aware he remarried."

"We got married a couple of months ago." She says before more guests arrive. Your conversation ends on that note as you continue to greet the incoming guests. You can feel her gaze on you; it rarely leaves you. When you glance to the side, you note how she doesn't look sad at your father's passing. As she returns to side eyeing you, you catch a hungry look in her eyes. It sends shivers down your spine. You refrain from speaking another word to Sana during the rest of the ceremony. The funeral goes on without a problem, though Sana does bring some attention as it seems no one else knew that your father had married before his death. The guests give their condolences to you as they leave. In the end, it's just you and Sana. She remained seated the entire time. It's only now that everyone is gone that she moves from that spot. She comes up behind you and whispers softly into your ear, "You're going to inherit everything your father had…including me." Your ears perk up, and a shiver runs down your spine at her words. You start to turn around, but Sana takes your hand and holds it as she leads you out.

You arrive back home for the first time in over three years. The space is much like how you remember it. Sana stands behind you and takes off your coat, putting it on a coat rack before coming back to you and massaging your shoulders. You return to your senses for a second and ask her what she meant. "What did you mean by I'll be inheriting you?"

"It’s in the contract. You'll be inheriting me as your wife." Sana continues to massage your shoulders, "You've had such a stressful day, honey. I'll go run you a bath." Sana begins to leave the room when you put your hand on her shoulder and turn her around.

"No, hold on just a moment. This doesn't make any sense. What do you mean it's in the contract? What contract?"

Sana slowly lifts her hand and cups your cheek. "I'm sorry, Honey. I can't say anymore." Sana tries to kiss you, but you pull your head back. She giggles, "It’s nice to have such a beautiful young woman.” Sana keeps her hand on your cheek, staring into your eyes. You can feel something drawing you to her. “ I'll go run your bath." Sana leaves you alone as she starts the bath. The muffled sounds of running water start up. You're left wondering what kind of deal was made. You think to yourself that your father must have left something behind. You head into his study and start searching for any sort of document that would give you an inkling of what’s going on. Drawer after drawer, nothing of the sort turns up, and you leave the room before Sana can catch onto you. You enter the living room and sit down, but not a moment later, Sana walks in. She's clad in only a towel, her long smooth legs out in the open. "Come on, Honey; the bath is ready. I'll wash your back." You want to argue against her joining, but at the same time, you want to keep her in your line of sight. Something telling you it would be worse if she could freely walk around the house.

"Fine." You respond. Sana hooks her arm around yours and leads you to the bathroom, where she helps strip you out of your clothes. Sana never takes her eyes off you, her hands lingering on your body as she takes each piece of clothing off you. Adjusting her towel, she looks at you before dropping it to the floor. Her modest chest, topped with light pink nubs, toned abs, and nether regions, are in full view. You’re amazed by her seemingly perfect body, feeling slightly jealous as you look at yourself. Sana turns and leans over, dipping a finger in the water, letting you stare at her ass before she steps into the large bath. Sana has her back against the tub’s wall, forcing you to sit in front of her. As she settles in, she looks at you expectantly. You step into the bath and sit in front of her. Though you can't see her expression, you know she's smirking. Sana leans forward, pressing her breasts against your back. Her small nubs are hard as they rub against your back.

"Isn't this nice?" She asks. When you don't respond, Sana wraps her arms around you. "Honey, do be so quiet. There's no need to be embarrassed." You can't tell if she's playing dumb, but your train of thought is broken when you feel her hands cup your breasts. She traps your nipple between her index and middle finger, pinching and pulling them lightly. "I'll get rid of all your stress and worries from today. You can let it all out…" She whispers into your ear. Sana moves her right hand down your body to your cunt, using her index and ring finger to separate your lips before sliding her middle finger along your slit. You try to hold your moans in, Sana's hand doing wonders for you. You feel Sana’s breath on your neck; she kisses your nape before getting by your ear and nibbling it. Unable to contain yourself anymore, your voice breaks through your lips, and you moan in the quiet bathroom. It's a slow and smooth circular motion. You become putty in her hands as she takes complete control. Waves of pleasure course through your body, and you feel yourself quickly coming to your climax.

"Ah, fuck."

"It’s okay, Honey. I can already feel you getting close. Let it all out, cum for me. Cum for mommy." Sana giggles for a second. "Oops, I mean your wife, but I can be your mommy in this way if you want." Sana kisses the back of your ears while she continues to finger you. Your body begins to jerk as you near your orgasm. "Just let it all out for me. Cum for me." Sana repeats as she bites your earlobe. You can't hold on much longer and cum on her hand. Your nectar mixes with the bath water as you struggle to catch your breath. Sana continues to finger you after you've orgasmed, slowly coming to a stop. You don’t want Sana to stop; you enjoy the feeling of her finger pushing deep inside you. "That felt good, didn't it?" Sana says calmly. "Cumming onto my hand felt nice, didn’t it? But I think you’re still a little stressed." She kneads your breast, drawing another moan from you. "Why don't we continue in the master bedroom?"

You nod in agreement with Sana and step out of the bath. At the moment, you aren't thinking straight; having fallen under Sana's spell, you follow her wishes. Water drips from your bodies as you make the walk over. Watching Sana's hips sway from side to side makes you want her more. Unable to contain yourself any longer, you push Sana to the side, forcing her against the wall. "Ah! Can't wait to fuck me?” She says with a smirk. “What a naughty girl." Your hand rushes to Sana’s pussy; pressing it against her, you push two fingers inside and feel her walls wrap tightly around you. She moans, feeling your fingers dive deep into her body. Your other hand moves to her modest chest, and you feel her soft mounds melt into your grasp. "Ah, Fuck!" She yells, enjoying the sudden roughness. You feel Sana's lower lips stretch around your fingers as you add a third. Her soft ass presses against you as her body thrashes from the pleasure.

You pull your hands away from her body for a moment as you get on your knees. You spread Sana’s cheeks and stare at her cunt. Noticing her nectar has steadily dripped down her thighs; you take small licks of the sweet substance before diving into the star attraction."Do you like my pussy? It's all yours." Sana moans as she turns her head to the side. Your tongue pushes past her folds as you give into Sana. Your hands desperately gripped her body. Her moans become high-pitched as she edges closer to her orgasm. Sana fishes around for the back of your head and pushes you into her cunt.

Though you struggle to breathe, you continue to eat her out. You can’t get enough of her sweet nectar. Sana’s hands grip anything they can reach for as she looks for something to hold onto for dear life as you use her. Her whines reach their apex as she cums. Sana's pussy squeezes your tongue, and her nectar sprays into your mouth, running down your chest as you try and fail to drink it all. It feels incredible. Sana lets you go, and you fall back, resting on your side. She slowly turns around to face you, her hand coming closer until she cups your cheek. The enchanting woman shares a deep kiss with you. After a moment, she rests her head on your chest, kissing your breast and staring at them, debating whether to suck on them. You feel her grind against you. Her wet cunt stains your thigh with her juices. "You've got so much energy. I think we'll be a good match." Sana runs her hand down your body until she reaches your pussy. "I'm sure you have a lot more to give, don't you?" Silently, you kiss Sana. Your hands run over her body as you start to learn it.

The next morning you wake up in the master bedroom with Sana lying between your legs. Your hips rise off the mattress as Sana’s tongue explores your insides. “Good morning, Honey. I’m sorry to wake you, but I was thirsty and thought you could give me a nice drink.” You wrap your legs around the beautiful woman’s head and press her forward with your hand. Sana, unable to speak, continues to eat you out. You feel every slight movement of her tongue, from the long slow drags across your walls to the quick flicks across your clit when she moves back. You loudly whine as you near your orgasm, your voice going higher.

“Oh god! I’m going to cum!” You yell as your body starts to grind against Sana’s face instinctively. You feel a tightness in your core like you’re being wound up.

“Cum for me, Honey,” Sana says in a low tone. Her fingers play with your clit as she attaches her mouth to your cunt. Your head shoots back; you grimace as you climax and begin to give Sana her well-deserved treat. Sana eagerly laps it all up. When your legs grow weak and loosen, Sana crawls forward, up your body until she’s face to face with you. She holds your chin and tilts your head down as she kisses you. You taste yourself on her tongue and are powerless to refuse. She takes her time exploring your mouth before finally breaking off the kiss.”Thank you for the drink, Honey.” Sana climbs off you and leaves the room, heading in the direction of the bathroom.

You remain on the bed, your chest heaving as you recover from your morning orgasm. In the quietness of this morning, your head becomes clear now that Sana is gone. You suddenly remember what you were doing before you had sex with Sana—trying to find out more about that contract.

#kpop smut #twice smut #f reader #female reader #sana smut

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r1-jw-lover · 4 months

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Caine as John Wick's Mirror: Part 2

Part two?! Really?

Actually, I was quite satisfied with the analysis I previously wrote on Caine, but then I just rewatched the first John Wick movie and now I have even more thoughts to add on the subject matter.

So buckle up because this is going to be another long post.

Tagging @evren-sadwrn, @chaoticgardenbread and @jotunvali02 again. <3

In my last analysis, I have already compared Caine with Cassian due to how similar they function in relation to John within the John Wick universe. This time, let us compare Caine with the next most similar character to him in the John Wick franchise: Marcus.

On the surface level, Caine and Marcus have similar arcs within the movie they appeared in. They are both friends of John Wick who were recruited by the villain to hunt and kill the Baba Yaga but deep down were secretly on John Wick's side.

While Marcus agreed to Viggo's contract out of his own free will whereas Caine was blackmailed and threatened by the Marquis, they would eventually forsake the job given to them and choose to give John a helping hand in a moment of crisis, a decision they were willing to die for.

(The sad and tragic part of it is that only one survived and got to live out his happy ending and the other was punished for it and died.)

The more I think about it though, the more I feel this is where the similarities end.

For one, Marcus looked way older than John, likely closer to Viggo in age. Even so, he hadn't retired from the business, and was living quite comfortably in a large apartment in New York alone. (It's almost as if Marcus is an alternate version of John if he didn't choose to marry Helen and had continued to live on his life as an assassin.)

By comparison, John was retired, and while he had a large bungalow in the New York suburbs to live in, the large wide empty spaces of his home seemed to amplify how lonely John felt after losing Helen.

Marcus: How're you holding up? John: I kept asking why her. Marcus: There's no rhyme or reason to this life. It's days like today scattered among the rest.

As much as his comforting words were sound, Marcus was content with his own life, and John clearly wasn't. On top of the implication that Marcus didn't have any family whatsoever, you can see why John immediately questioned Marcus about his intentions of visiting him after Helen's funeral right after the quoted dialogue above.

John was too drowned in his grieving for his wife's passing at the time that no one's condolences, not even Marcus (the person who Viggo claimed John was close with), could truly comfort him.

Because John wasn't done grieving while he was alive, when Iosef killed Daisy, John went on a rampage to avenge his dog. When Santino burned down his house, John shot him on Continental grounds, the supposedly safest haven in the criminal underworld. When John sacrificed his ring finger to the Elder, he rebelled against the High Table's forces head on alongside the New York Continental.

You know what finally made John Wick stop running, accept his death and find his peace?

It was when Caine comes into the picture.

For the first time in a long time, John had found someone who's similar in age as him and in a position similar to him mentally and emotionally-speaking, more so than anyone else in the franchise.

Just like John, Caine was also retired. He was discontent with his life, and he was lonely, due to the sheer fact that Caine wasn't allowed to get close to his daughter.

Despite being on opposite sides, John and Caine were equally caged by a strong sense of helplessness internally. (Where John acted upon it with defiant rage, Caine responded with palpable fear.) That's why we're rooting for both of them to get their unconditional freedom, and why the sunrise duel is so important not just for plot reasons.

Unlike Marcus, Caine had an innocent family member at stake, and because John intimately knew how it felt to lose a loved one, he ultimately sacrificed his life so to prevent Caine from having to experience the same grief John had painstakingly gone through for four entire films.

And that's something John was finally willing to die for.

(It's unfortunate that within the same movie John had unknowingly created another John Wick in Akira, but that is an entirely different story altogether.)

#john wick #jw4 #john wick 4 #john wick chapter 4 #caine #caine jw #caine john wick #marcus jw #marcus john wick #john wick analysis #character analysis #keanu reeves #donnie yen #long post

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gamebunny-advance · 2 months

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Doodle Dump: Misc. Edition

Time for misc. doodles~

Notes under the cut.

1: "Ikigusare Idols". Like many people, "Injection Girl" randomly appeared in my Youtube feed, and I was admittedly charmed by them. It's like they're from a bygone era, but they just put out another music video last month. Currently, my favorite song is "スーパーZ指定ガール". (Content warning for mass violence in the lyrics.)

2-4: "Clown Doll Redesign". So, since I've started doll customizing as a hobby, I tend to lurk on the Dolls and CustomDolls subreddits on the lookout for inspo and info. Not too long ago, someone posted asking for advice/critique on their doll ideas. So I sketched these (and some notes on the original design, which are not included here) as a response. In the end, I never did reply because I don't actually have a reddit account, and I thought it would be weird to make one solely to criticize someone, so I'm just posting them here.

My main critiques were that there wasn't a lot of contrast in their color choices and that the blue and red hair seemed random when the rest of the design was pink/green. So, my main goal was to increase the contrast between the pink and green, so the different patterns would stick out more and to unify the pallet a bit more. The skintones differ from the reference because the doll they said they were going to use was a G3 Frankie Stein, who has bluish skin and a prosthetic left leg, so I'm not really sure why their sketch uses the original green skin or why the silver leg is on the wrong side, but it is what it is.

The first 2 are straight pallet swaps, but the 3rd is based on a second design that the OP made. They originally asked for users to pick between the two. Most people said they preferred the blue and yellow design because it was more cohesive, but the OP replied that they really wanted to make the pink and green one work somehow, so that's why I focused on using that one as the base, but I still included a version with the alternate pallet and patterns.

Here's a link to the original thread since I'm kinda reposting their art by including it with sketch. Just maybe avoid linking back to me >_<;

5-8: "Music Junkie Soundwave". In a similar vein, there was another user on the subreddit that wanted opinions on a potential Transformers fashion doll line, citing a video that one of their friends made on the idea.

Now despite having a limited knowledge of Transformers, and I'm still pretty green to the fashion doll world, I wrote a whole-ass dissertation on the idea because magical girl/boy robot dolls are totally something I'd be into.

But, for a similar reason to the clown doll, I didn't want to make a reddit account just to critique someone (though I still have the original response in my drafts).

When I finished writing that response, I decided to sketch how I would go about the idea as it'd been proposed, and created this Soundwave doll idea. Admittedly, he's very inspired by Giacomo from Pokemon Scarlet/Violet (never played it, but I do like some of the character designs in it). I dunno if the overalls are a little dorky, but I couldn't think of another way to represent his chest-deck in a meaningful way.

9-10: "Kingsley and Mamuta". I tried to make some human? designs for them, but it's not going great. I really wanted Mamuta to still be monstrous, but designs like that aren't my strong-suit... Kingsley I'm just not satisfied with yet.

11: "OC Line-Up". Just a few OCs of mine. From left to right: Carol, The Prince Formerly Known As Frog, Shapeshifter, and Fizz.

12: "Rival". An idea for a rival to Kun3h0, ala Shadow the Hedgehog and Wario. I made another sketch recently that goes in a very different direction, but I kinda want to finish that so I haven't included it in this dump.

#gbunny draws #cw: body horror #ikigusare #clowns #transformers #soundwave #pikmin #kingsley #mamuta #OCs #carol #the prince formerly known as frog #shapeshifter #fizz #actually i can't remember if that's his name #he's been through a few renames #i think his name is actually 'Floats'#unnamed rival

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queer-ragnelle · 2 months

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Hi there, you don't have to post this on the blog, but I wanted to thank you for your earlier post with regard to different interpretations and iterations of Arthuriana. I really admire your work in/thoughts on all things Arthurian, and seeing you say "Each iteration is it's own self-contained world and anything is possible within that framework" was such a freeing thing. I'm currently writing an Arthurian thing where Lancelot falls for/ends up with someone who isn't Guinevere, and I often wrestle with the doubt of "if he isn't in love with Guinevere, am I really being true to the stories and the canon?" But each iteration is its own self-contained world, and I can honor the stories in other ways while still doing my own thing in this particular story/world. Anyway, all this to say, I'm sure it wasn't your intention, but I appreciate your insight and the encouragement it brings. Take care!

Hi there! Sorry for the delay in responding, but I wanted to think about this a bit beforehand. In writing my own Arthurian series, as well as reading and watching absolutely everything I can get ahold of, historical, medieval, and modern, I’ve developed a whole philosophy about it. So my reply got long hehe. Here’s what I think…

In the ask you referenced, I talked about how Arthurian legend lacks a true "canon," and how the stories all build off each other. The inconsistency from text to text and even chapter to chapter within the same story affords us endless opportunities for creative reinterpretation. I can basically be sold on any concept. I’ve read a lot of retellings at this point and I’m not married to any specific “canon.” If the writer can convince me that, in this version of the story, things played out differently, then I’m happy to get invested. For example, in Exiled From Camelot by Cherith Baldry, she develops Lyonors, Gareth’s wife, and makes her into a likable character the reader can easily ship with Gareth. On the other hand, I definitely see why people prefer Lynette with Gareth, as Tennyson did, and the majority of other retellings follow suit. Even so, I think Lynette and Gaheris made an adorable pair in Squire’s Tales #3, and it was a satisfying reveal in Squire’s Tales #7 that the pov character was their daughter, Lunette. It’s indicated through context clues who her parents are when they arrive at the end referring to each other by pet names. In the same vein, while I favor Ragnelle, Gawain can have any number of partners so long as the author writes the chemistry well. And while I still firmly believe Agravaine is gay in essentially every retelling, I do love Sarah Zettel’s romance Camelot’s Blood that she wrote between him and Laurel. I’m an Orkney Wives fan first and an Orkney Bros fan second haha!

That being said, Orkney Bros have always been inconsistent, so changing their love interests isn’t actually that drastic. In the case of Lancelot and Guinevere, severing their romantic connection is a huge departure from the norm. Undoubtedly, some people won’t “get it” or say it’s out of character. But the thing to remember is, there is no singular source for Arthuriana, so how can they ever be out of character? Let’s get into it.

Firstly, you don’t need to rationalize your narrative choices. To anybody. So long as you’re writing something for the sake of authenticity and good storytelling (rather than simply to be contrarian or edgy or quirky etc) it will resonate with your audience. That said, there’s medieval precedence for your concept. In Alliterative Morte Arthure, Lancelot is listed many times as one of Arthur’s knights. He’s there. Yet it is Mordred who adulterously marries Guinevere. In the romance retelling Lancelot by Gwen Rowley, Guinevere is not the love interest, but Elaine. Another similar angle is explored in Port Eternity by CJ Cherryh, which takes place entirely from Elaine’s point of view. Guinevere isn’t even truly in it and her stand in doesn’t fulfill the same role. In The Adventures of Sir Lancelot (1956), Lancelot definitely has A Thing with both the King and Queen, but a potential affair is not explored or even hinted at. He’s their bestie, their confidant, their most trusted person apart from each other. The key here is Lancelot still loves Guinevere (or her stand in), however that manifests. There’s no active dislike or hatred between them. In that circumstance, I don’t think the character would feel like Lancelot anymore. But changing the nature of his love for Guinevere from romantic to something else does not diminish its narrative value, as the above examples prove. Their friendship is the core of their relationship, as the Vulgate proves, and maintaining that is important.

It’s not so much about asking yourself, “Is [narrative choice] true to the ‘canon?’” as asking, “How do I tell a good story containing [narrative choice]?” There are examples of this done poorly, in my opinion. I’ve elaborated many many many times about David Lowery’s fumbling of The Green Knight (2021) and how that particular iteration falls short of a true adaptation (which I don’t think he set out to do anyway, to be fair) but also proved an unsuccessful reimagining of the poem due to mismanaged references and motifs. I didn’t like Once & Future by Cori McCarthy and Amy Rose Capetta or The Winter Knight by Jes Battis for the same reasons—both books felt like shallow, meandering stories lacking narrative integrity with a veneer of Arthuriana over it. Reincarnation AUs are not an excuse to flanderaize characters. Battis writes Wayne (Gawain) acknowledging how drastically he differs from his medieval counterpart, but awareness of it doesn’t negate the facts: the story suffers for it. On the contrary, Camelot 3000 gives an entire character arc surrounding this premise to Tristan, who has reincarnated AFAB and struggles with his gender identity and with accepting Isolde’s love for him, changed though he is. First Knight (1995) really screws up by making Lancelot a misogynistic creeper who relentlessly pursues Guinevere and even forces a kiss on her. King Arthur: Legend of The Sword (2017) is insultingly bad by showcasing just how stupid it thinks its audience is, brutalizing and killing women left and right, giving unnecessary screen time to obnoxious OCs, and bastardizing every aspect of the legend it drew from. Meanwhile the Fate Grand Order anime cuts out Guinevere entirely. Her role exists as a void. It makes no sense, then, that Lancelot and Agravaine clash as “fellow traitors,” because the woman at the center of the conflict is literally never present. Seven Deadly Sins anime has finally gotten around to Lancelot and Guinevere meeting, and she’s a clingy girl Lancelot is disinterested in, trying to flip the script on their roles, and only exacerbating the misogyny problem in shounen in the process.

Fear not! Loving Arthurian legend automatically enshrines anything you create in a glittering anti-garbage shield! So many versions exist that draw on the elements just because they can with no respect for the material nor their audience. You literally can’t do worse than what’s already out there and there are no original ideas! Published retellings love crackships, they love mixing it up, changing the expected, surprising us! So long as Guinevere isn’t made worse to make Lancelot’s alternative love interest better, and Lancelot himself isn’t turned inside out until he’s unrecognizable, you’re golden. Follow your gut and write something you would enjoy, develop it well within your own universe, and there will be an audience for it. I’m certainly among them!

Thanks for the ask. Have a lovely day! :^)

#arthurian legend #arthuriana #arthurian legends #arthurian mythology #arthurian literature #lancelot #sir lancelot #lancelot du lac #guinevere #queen guinevere #guinevere pendragon #writing #ask #usedtobeaduchess

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stoukadraws · 11 months

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Happy 3rd Anniversary Chromatale, and Goodnight.

So its about time I say this: I won't be making any content about this AU anymore, so that unfortunately puts it into the discontinued undertale comics category xd

I just really lost the spark I had 2 years ago when making it, so the "little hiatus" that I thought was only going to be a few months turned into more than a year.

I'm sorry to those who were waiting and wanted to see more, but there is another reason why I'm doing this-

It's not gonna be an AU anymore, it's going to be an original story.

I really thought about it for a while and I decided that making it into an original story would give me more creative freedom and I wouldn't have to always stick to one storyline, I wanted to expand the world more as well as the characters, but since its all based on a game with a pretty much solid story, it was hard for me to insert some things that would be out of place or wouldn't make sense.

So, I hope you understand, this AU was truly a learning experience for both my art and my writing since I made it when I was really young and not very experienced, but I'm glad I was able to improve along the way.

Thank you for supporting this AU since the beginning and stuck around!

I plan to make more works surrounding this new story later on, so I look forward to it! And I hope some of you are excited for what's to come. (*^▽^*)

More in-depth explanation + some questions (near the end) :

This is gonna be a bit long so if you really wanna read this whole thing be prepared xd

This whole thing doesn't mean I'm quitting Undertale altogether, I'm still continuing the Strays Au, and I want that AU to be my main Undertale AU now since I've always intended on making it Undertale related and I'm already satisfied with it right now, so I don't intend on making it original or anything.

When I started Chromatale I was still a kid-ish, and I was at the toilet with my phone and idk how it started but I decided to doodle a Sans on my phone and thought "I can make an Undertale AU!".

And so I did. Chromatale back then was reallyyy different, it was a post-genocide story with Sans and Frisk trying to bring everyone back -yeah real original younger me

There was a comic I did on my phone but now its lost in time unfortunately, it went though like 2 rewrites until I decided to make it a full AU with my own story. And so some brainstorming later and the comic you all know today was made!

Again, I was still new to the whole comic making thing and my writing was pretty sloppy, I'm still surprised it got a lot of attention- I was full of passion and really worked my butt off to make each pages, even with school going on (it was online so it wasn't much of a hassle tho) I was determined to finish it and already had a lot of the comic planned.

That is until I felt a bit worn out, my motivation was getting lower until I could barely produce a page, so that's when I decided to put the comic on hiatus, I initially planned for it to only be a few months but then time went on and I still didn't feel motivated to continue it.

During that time I was just doing my own thing, making some OC art and different stories, making another Undertale AU, going back to school and a shit ton of projects to do- I felt like a little weight was lifted from my back, the comic had turned into labor for me and constantly doing updates wasn't very healthy, since during some updates I had to force myself to finish it.

The story was also changing in the middle of it, I had to rewrite chapter 3 since the first version was literally full of "fanservice" that I only noticed when I re-read the chapter a few months later.

I just wasn't satisfied with it, the story that my younger self had in mind didn't fit what I wanted now since I had grown more mature as time went on, the whole AU really taught me what to do and what not to do.

Initially I actually wanted to reboot Chromatale again and focus more on the concepts and solidifying the plot before engaging in a comic, but after some thinking I thought it would be better to transition it into an original story. I really wanted to expand the story more and again gain more creative freedom than being limited to a pretty much complete-ish story.

I wanted to do what I wanted instead of forcing it to fit with the fandom's liking and preference.

Although its going to be an original story some things will sorta be the same but I won't go into too much detail about it.

I won't promise a comic though, mini comics sure but not anything official. Maybe in the far distant future, but I doubt, I still got a lot of other stories I wanna make into comics >>

Now some things I would like to clarify:

"Now that you're discontinuing Chromatale can it be mine?"

-Unfortunately as much as you want to claim it, no. Chromatale still belongs to me. Even if its going to be original now there's still a lot about it during its UTAU days. I still own it, but I don't want to be heavily associated with it. I'd rather have others focus on the new version than the AU version, and I don't want all my other works to be overshadowed by it. I hope you understand.

"Can I still make fanart?"

-Feel free to still make fanart, I won't restrict anyone from still making any. But I'd still like to see fanart of the new version 👀

"Can I still dub the comic?"

-Sure, make sure to still credit me but please specify to viewers that the comic is now discontinued and its become an original story, I don't wanna give the viewers false hope. If your dubbing for fun then go ahead!

Any dub of the comic that has been published has my permission to still be up in public, I won't force anyone to take it down. But please don't use it for any profiting or income.

Now that's been settled, I'm planning on posting some concepts from the AU that I still have since I don't think I'll use some anymore and now that its ok to show now that I discontinued the comic xd

Again, thank you for following me along this journey! See you in the next post ✨

#undertale #undertale au #chromatale #chroma!tale #frisk #chroma!frisk #eve #digital art #digital illustration #digital painting #my art #stoukaart

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amageish · 8 months

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So, Nico Minoru's in Spider-Man Freshman Year... Let's talk about it.

About a year ago, Marvel spilled some details about the upcoming animated Spider-Man series, Spider-Man Freshman Year. There was a lot of discussion about it, what it was, what it wasn't, and whether what it is is better or worse then what people wanted it to be.

A couple weeks ago, a trademark filing indicated that the show was scheduled for Winter 2024. In an era where companies are killing announced and nearly-finished projects, I was honestly thinking the show was on thin ice... but since it seems to still exist, I want to talk about something that I feel has gotten surprisingly little discussion in all the discourse about the show: the inclusion of Nico Minoru, of the Runaways, as Peter Parker's best friend.

Now, from a Peter-centered perspective, I think this choice makes sense in a very specific way? If you flash back to the original 60s Spider-Man comics, which the show seems to be trying to invoke aesthetically from the little we've seen, Peter Parker had a female close friend who was representative of 1960s youth counter-culture: Mary Jane.

The degree to which Stan Lee's own values undercut MJ's counter-culturism is something that people could/do entire academic essays about, but suffice it to say that she was meant to appeal to the zeitgeist of the era and the character's spirit certainly got through to viewers. Like, there is a reason that she the OTP for Peter for so many people, even if Lee at the time had intended to keep the focus on Peter's more traditionally conservative romance with Gwen Stacy.

Nico Minoru slots into this classic pre-MJ-as-the-love-interest MJ role very well, in my opinion at least? In her 2000s comics, she was cast as a edgy goth social outcast who made her own clothes and did her own thing... In her 2010s MCU show, she was cast again as an outcast, but with a certain amount of doomerpilled depression that she outgrows as the show goes on... In the 2020s game Midnight Suns, Nico is still a devoted goth, but also draws from queer youth culture and has a certain semi-ironic peppiness to her (she calls the player "friendo" constantly - she's just like me fr).

So, honestly, I think picking Nico Minoru for Spider-Man's best friend is a really clever move that slots her into this historical role of the foil to Peter Parker - fun choice!

However, from a Nico-centered perspective, I have a lot of questions about what this version of the character will be like practically... The biggest one being: Why is Nico in New York? One of the core concepts of the Runaways as a team is that they are a response to the oft-asked question "Why is New York always under threat? Why are there no superheroes having to save LA?". While the West Coast Avengers do, y'know, exist, the Runaways introduces another answer to this question: Supervillains cannot operate in LA without permission of the Pride, a LA-based supervillain mafia who made a pact with a demon from Limbo and require a cut of all crime committed in the city. The titular Runaways are the children of these villains, who choose to reject their parent's lifestyle and go on the run rather then be complicit in their villainy.

So... How did Nico get in New York and end up enrolling in a New York high school? That's a big change for her and I hope the explanation is satisfying.

Nico and her team also don't usually appear as traditional costumed heroes with secret identities, at least not for prolonged periods of time. They've used several codenames and several costumes, but it's always bit a touch comedic - Nico goes by "Sister Grimm" because they decide they need nicknames to be superheroes as somewhat-cringy-teens while she later uses "The Gloom" partially at the encouragement of her girlfriend, but she's still largely just... Nico. It's worth noting that both Midnight Suns and Marvel Snap break naming conventions to call her by her first/last name instead of an alias - something Snap mostly does with big-deal characters like Jean Grey and Kitty Pryde, with even other characters more known by their real name like Emma Frost and Danielle Moonstar being called by their hero names instead...

So, I'm curious if Nico will be using her powers to fight crime and, if she is, what codename/costume she has... On top of that, I wonder if Peter Parker will know that Nico is a blood witch and if Nico will know that Peter Parker is Spider-Man - or if they mutually uncover that across the events of the series... Doctor Strange is also set to be in this show - will he be a mentor for her as a budding witch, perhaps even more then he is a mentor for Peter? There's a lot of possibilities there too.

Finally, there's the big question of Nico Minoru's queerness. Now, there's basically two lists of Marvel queers - the characters written as queer by the writers and artists at Marvel and the characters Marvel corporate have actually approved as being queer and stamped with a big rainbow stamp of approval. This is what separates your "did a gay kiss once" characters from your "paraded out every June" characters...

Nico is in the latter category and is potentially one of the most corporate-approved queer characters there are. This girl is BISEXUAL and Marvel is uncharacteristically interested in making sure you know it. She got a Pride variant cover kissing her girlfriend when Pearlmutter was still at the company. Her MCU show is full of gay kisses and has not one but TWO fantasy gay wedding sequences (it also got removed from Disney+ earlier this year, funny that).

Now, uh, America Chavez is basically the face of Sapphic Marvel in the comics and her queerness got reduced to a Pride pin in her movie, so I'm not sure if Nico's bisexuality will be acknowledged in the show given that precedent... but I sure hope it does!!! It'd be cute if Karolina pops in too, helping her girlfriend out with whatever antics she gets into... She wasn't in the initial revealed character line-up, but I could also see them waiting to reveal her and hoping to get hype specifically from shippers who haven't thought about the pairing in a few years since the Runaways TV show ended.

ANYWAY. That was a lot of thoughts, but I'm just very curious what's going to happen here... I love Nico and am eager to see her in this show, but it also just feels like such an unconventional choice... to the point where I am apparently thinking about it this hard a year later.

#spiderman freshman year #nico minoru #deanoru #the runaways

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