#wait until people find out there are people out there who are aroace who do sus work and are happily married- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prince-liest · 1 month

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Don't mind me getting on my soapbox for a moment... a lot of this musing is admittedly for the sake of my own processing of this topic, re: aroaceness. Read at your own peril! <3

I'm generally a very "ship and let ship" kind of person, but I think I would definitely append a little caveat of, like, "As long as you're not being actively invalidating and detrimental to others" to that. Which is a delightfully vague statement that can be interpreted practically any way, I know, hahaha.

In the case of this particular post I've just been thinking about how, like... seeing an aroace character like Alastor get written into dozens upon dozens of PWPs (including ones that don't even touch on the subject of his aceness at all) is really not something that I personally find to be hurtful or offensive. It's just smut for the sake of smut, of a character people want to see awful, sexy things done to (or doing). Valid! I vibe with you! More people should just write the PWPs they want to see in the world!

But on the other hand, I've several times seen this very particular type of art (usually it's a comic, but admittedly I haven't been reading very many Hazbin Hotel fics so maybe it's there, too) where Alastor is slotted into the "methinks the lady doth protest too much" trope. As in, he's expressing strong feelings about a character (usually Vox or Lucifer, sometimes Angel Dust) to someone, probably Rosie, and the person he's confiding to is some variant of, "Oh, silly Alastor, you're obviously in love!" And then he denies it, says that the very idea disgusts him, and the character titters to themselves about how he's so naive in the matters of romance or whatever.

And it's, like.

The "strong feelings" in question are almost always frustration/annoyance/disgust, and him being like, "Nnnno, I just hate his person" is treated like a silly and naive misunderstanding of his own feelings because obviously he's in love. Please imagine that Alastor was a female character who was established to be a lesbian. Now examine how that suddenly makes this scene feel.

(Also, Rosie being the go-to for this is a little frustrating when she's the one who, in canon, explicitly says that she wouldn't make that assumption of him.)

There's such a chasm of difference between how I see people wanting to ship Alastor for reasons of "I just want to!" vs folks who engage with him being aroace in ways that are infantilizing and invalidating. There are so many people out there - not just aro/ace people, but anyone who's not exclusively into the standard type of person they should be into at the time society deems they should be into them, which is most queer people and even many cishet folks - that have been told that exact kind of thing in real life. It reads like something out of a compulsory heterosexuality guidebook, and it actively makes it harder to leave the closet or even realize that you're in one at all.

So I guess it just feels frustrating to see it get made into a punchline, especially by folks who are shipping queer ships. I genuinely can't wait until fandom society advances to the point of consistently treating aro/acespec folks as queer instead of Queer Lite (TM), because let me tell you, ime the comphet experience and the amato/allonormativity experience are in fact nigh-identical except for how they're treated within online communities. There's a reason the pan -> gay -> ace pipeline is a thing.

But, hey! We're already doing way better than we were in 2012!

#personal #aro #ace #aroace #long post #sexuality #please don't come to this post talking about “but gray ace/demi” because I truly don't want to write the requisite 8 paragraph response #just trust me that I know and I don't think it contradicts the specific point I'm making #this is a personal musing on my personal blog because I'm too lazy to separate personal and fandom blogs unu #hazbin hotel #alastor

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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 8 days

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ace/aro-spec convexian cannibalism headcanons

this is what it says on the tin!! I'm basing this loosely off of my convexian cannibalism oneshot fic series, where the fics all sort of slot into the same "universe"

CW: discussion of sex, starvation and cannibalism ahead

SO, I think that Cub, Scar, and Grian are all ace/aro-spec (and autistic but that's not so important here) in my au universe. And I find it fun to explain so I am going to do so.

Note: I am aroace-spec, autistic, and polyam and I am projecting hard. No hate please. Don't like, don't read! ^-^

Grian

An asexual who doesn't particularly seek any kind of sex but is down for whatever if the right person (ahem. Scar) comes along

Way more into sensation-seeking than actual sex acts

His Watcher Powers (TM) make it a lot easier for him to handle pain, after the first few minutes of getting cannibalised his mind drifts off and it all becomes more about Feeling than Pain

He's also accidentally hacked his bird instincts to be kind of into the whole 'being perfect prey' thing

But he doesn't like to mix sex and cannibalism, that makes him uncomfortable - roleplaying as prey or whatever is more like a signal of trust and weird intimate comfort

He likes to 'switch off' his overactive and often stressed brain and just act as prey / food for his partners sometimes - it is a very good de-stressing technique

His Watcher instincts enjoy being the one to Do Cannibalism every so often - this is how he feeds (pretty much only on Scar)

He finds the thrill / adrenaline and sensations of The Cannibalism (TM) really fun, and a way to be intimate without sex

He is not aromantic, but he get embarrassed by most romantic acts

However he will say "I love you" to his partners as a response to them saying it... usually he's not the one to say it first

Scar

Both aro and ace-spec

He has to really really get to know someone before he starts 'falling for' them, and hates the idea of sex with someone he isn't very close to

He's known Cub for a long time and they have a Vex Bond (TM)

With Grian, Third Life really sealed the deal for Scar (though he had a bit of a crush for a while) - he would Vex Bond (TM) with Grian if he could

He's very bad at acting on his feelings, so he waits until someone else says something (usually)

He is, however, outwardly flirty and makes (sometimes unintentional) dirty jokes

He enjoys sex but doesn't require it. It's just another fun thing he can do, alongside the cannibalism. They are very similar to him in terms of enjoyment.

He's also a bit of a masochist, willing to go through a lot to make his partners happy (he has been eaten many times) (and it hurts a lot, but he kind of enjoys it)

Despite the masochism, he still respects his partners' discomfort with sex, and can usually channel the pleasure into something non-sexual if they ask. This usually manifests as vex instincts going kind of crazy

When it comes to cannibalism, Scar is a vex and therefore has to eat other players to survive. He used to starve himself until forced to attack and feed, but after Grian offered to help him, he gained a healthier relationship with feeding

His vex nature comes out when feeding, and he especially enjoys inflicting slow deaths (torture makes vex brain go brr) as well as nesting and 'storing' prey (keeping Grian in a nest for a few days before the cannibalism begins)

He's the most eager to say "I love you" and is very outwardly affectionate. He gets excited to show his love since he feels it quite rarely

Cub

Aroace and has sooo much autistic rizz (well. they all do)

He's mostly grossed out by sex and doesn't want it anywhere near him. Though he finds Scar's innuendos very funny and once in a blue moon he will be down for some messing about

It takes a very special kind of person for him to actually 'fall in love' and he doesnt tend to say "I love you" to many people

Most of the time he seems kind of dry and unemotional but on the inside hes got a lot of feelings

Those emotions show when he gets excited ("LETS GOOOOO") but usually even when happy he seems quite neutral

Grian and Scar are his special people, but even then, Cub is rather awkward with affection and finds it hard to understand his own feelings

With Scar, the Vex Bond (TM) is like a QPR, which helps Cub understand things, but after he and Scar began 'hunting' (see: asking nicely to cannibalise) Grian together things got more complicated and he was hit with an unexpected crush

Which was scary and unexpected because Cub never feels that way about anyone aside from Scar

'Vexes hunt in pairs' is a thing - it makes their instincts very happy and strengthens the Vex Bond (TM)

Cannibalism definitely also helps him get his feelings across without having to talk

Scar was a born vex but Cub was human-turned-vex, and Cub was always quite nervous about the cannibalism thing (so was Scar, but he played it off)

To keep him from starving himself, Scar offered to feed Cub, which Cub accepted reluctantly, but after Scar and Grian's arrangement was established in early season 9, Cub was quickly introduced into the fold

Cub wants to say "I love you" to Grian, even though he doesn't say it often at all

^ It must be made clear that he isn't feeling pressured into saying it, he's just very scared of the words and wants to overcome that fear (as he did with Scar) - it feels strange to admit he loves someone, because it happens so rarely and he feels very strongly about his aroace identity. But he has to come to terms with the idea that he can have love for his special people while remaining solidly aroace.

He also likes the feeling of Grian's feathers #autisticking

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antebunny · 3 months

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So there's a subgenre of fics in the Harry Potter fandom wherein a person conceived while one of their parents is under the influence of a love potion will become aroace at birth. The origin, afaik, are two insidiously awful decisions of JKR combining: 1) she reinvented date rape drugs/roofies aka love potions, without realizing it I guess, and 2) she said that Voldemort was asexual, because she's never seen a marginalized identity she didn't spit on.

Since Merope Gaunt (Voldemort's mother) used a love potion on Tom Riddle Sr. (Voldemort's dad) I guess people got the idea that what if love potions caused asexuality? And asexuality + aromanticism, of course, meant evil. Here's an excerpt from one of those fics in which Bill Weasley explains being aro/ace to Hermione:

[Image ID]

"No. I just dated because that was what you did. I never really felt anything for them. A few kisses, plenty of hand-holding. I made out in a few broom closets, and had one very uncomfortable make-out session up the top of the Astronomy Tower that I eventually ended by pretending I heard Filch coming past on a patrol. I even tried making out with a guy once in case that was it–nothing. I never told mum about that, of course. Good wizards don't shame their families like that."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay, you know."

He shrugged. "It doesn't apply to me anyway. I'm not gay. I wasn't anything, and I was trying to accept that and be content with it. It was good enough. Until I met Fleur." His eyes lit up with joy as he spoke about her.

[Second Image ID]

"Look, the point is with her allure from being part-Veela, I love her. Like I can never love anyone else. I don't want to lose that. You don't understand what it's like to go through life feeling nothing for anyone else. I've dated people I said I cared for, but I wouldn't have died for them. Well, out of logical choice I might risk my life, but not from love. But I would die for Fleur. Do you understand? She makes me a better person. I would do anything to make her happy. I'm not alone in the world anymore."

She nodded slowly. "I see." It wasn't so much him manipulating Fleur, as him permitting her to manipulate him. Into feeling. "I didn't realise it could be that bad." She still thought he should confess, but it didn't sound like he was hurting Fleur–he really did love her.

[End Image ID]

I read this fic years ago, and at the time I genuinely had not thought about my sexuality at all. I would've never called myself aro or ace. Still, reading this felt like being repeatedly punched in the face. I kept on waiting for Hermione to say something similar to what she said after Bill made a homophobic comment. After all, she went out of her way the first time, didn't she. Instead, what I got was essentially:

Bill: I don't usually feel romantic or sexual attraction. So there's something wrong with me.

Hermione: Yeah lmao. But there's nothing wrong with being gay!

I've been (reading) on Ao3 since 2016, and in all that time I've seen plenty of subtle racism, sexism, etc. But I've never seen anything as plainly stated as this. To this day I have yet to hear any aro/ace people describe the experience of being aro/ace in any of the following ways: "How could I forgive myself if we brought a child into the world to suffer the emptiness I lived with my whole existence[?]" /"You should be unable to love." / "You don't understand what it's like to go through life feeling nothing for anyone else."

I could not understand why Bill described it as "emptiness" or "feeling nothing." I still cannot find a single aro/ace person who would describe themselves as empty. The most I have ever heard is: "I wish I was normal" (meaning I wish I fit in, I wish to be accepted by other people). Historically, many aro/ace people married and had kids, conforming to societal norms, and I am sure many believed there was something wrong with them or hoped to grow out of it. I was one of them. On a very personal note, I suspect that my father is too. I am certain that he's never heard the terms asexual or aromantic in his life. But if you think I'll ever discuss his sexuality with him, you're out of your damn mind.

Now, I know it's really easy to find this fic from these quotes. I chose to include them anyways because I think it's important to show how blatant it was. My Tumblr blog isn't exactly a platform, but for the five people reading this: please, please do not go after the author. I truly believe that they had no ill-intent. In the comments of this fic, a few people bring up variations of "it sounds like Bill is just aro/ace" and the author is consistently understanding. Here are some of the author's comment on that fic:

[Image ID]

I very much understand what you're saying. It's a tricky thing for me to address, however. For the core idea I'm playing with is basically the evilness of "love potions". And part of that is exploring JKR's idea that Voldemort, being unable to love due to his mother using a love potion on his father, was a *monster* because of that. Perhaps that doesn't come across very clearly (there's a little bit more of it in the prequel), that it's one of the assumptions I'm trying to undermine. ("Love potions are funny/romantic", "Voldemort is a monster because he could not love", "Harry's power was that he could love - he's not a monster like Voldemort", "There's nothing wrong with selling love potions to teens/adults because it's not 'real' love".)

I feel like I'm already poking at the inherent problem of framing "people who cannot love" as "monsters/psychopaths" by showing Bill and Harry's struggles with self acceptance, and Bill finding a way to love (though do note he'd been making peace with the idea he wasn't attracted to anyone, prior to meeting Fleur). I really don't like the canonical take on love-redeems/love-is-the-best-power/the-loveless-are-monsters, so I'm messing with it a bit. Exploring other people than Voldemort, ones we admire, who are also dealing with being unable to love. Does that make sense? Now, that doesn't mean I'm doing a perfect job at it, but I'm trying my best to explore that theme around the edges of my Dramione story.

[End Image ID]

The author's intention was to show how other characters, made aro/ace via love potion like Voldemort, were not evil or sociopaths. I don't know why all the characters were so aro/acephobic, but sometimes fics get away from you and you don't address everything you wanted to. I don't know why the aro/ace characters had so much internalized shame and hatred when the term bachelor has been in use for centuries, but we fanfic authors love writing self-esteem issues and I would be a hypocrite to say otherwise. I don't know why the author never tagged acephobia or internalized acephobia, but no one HAS to tag anything.

I don't know if the author ended up writing that fic where Harry comes to accept his aro/asexuality. It's totally understable if they didn't; I have failed to write many fics that I really did want to write. Sometimes it's just like that. I really, truly believe that the author had the best of intentions and is not aro/acephobic, just severely misled on what that experience is like.

My beef is not with this author. I used their words to highlight a reoccurring and popular sentiment that I hate. My real beef is that this fic is popular. This is an entire subgenre of Harry Potter fics. I actually decided to write this post because some random person on the internet said, a few days ago, something along the lines of: "Remember when JKR invented a date rape drug that turned people into sociopaths? Yeah…" (And also because I was up until 3 am last night writing a dumb trash angst one-shot about it).

I'd wager that the vast, vast majority of people who write or read those fics don't feel the same way. But the condescension is baked into the very premise of that trope. "Oh poor you, it must be so hard, so lonely going through life without ever loving another person. You must feel so empty inside."

It's actually people who say similar things that make me feel isolated. Most of the time I feel free, like I've cracked this secret code, like I'm able to see things clearly that people so hung up over sex and romance can't. Other times I feel so left out I wish I was "normal." Mostly, being aro/ace is lonely, annoying, exhausting, and liberating.

It wasn't until last year that a friend told me that some people actually do have trouble speaking to someone they've never met before, just because they find that someone attractive. I thought that only happened in stories. But I don't want to get nervous meeting new people based on their looks, I don't want to treat people differently based on how much I want to have sex with them. I wish my friends in high school had never pressured me to come out as bisexual. I wish all the other similarly liberal, queer communities I've found since didn't insist on associating sex and dating with emotional comfort. I wish I could magically stop my parents from expecting me to ever get married and have kids.

But I can't.

Anyways, that's it for today. I'm not sure what the point of writing this was. I really don't want anyone to get hurt or attacked because of it. This is not a callout, or a hate brigade, or any sort of call-to-action. I don't want people to get up-in-arms about this. I'm just tired. I suppose I just wanted to put my feelings out there, and well, this is my Tumblr.

#asexuality #aromantism #aroace #acearo #aphobia #acephobia #asexual #aromantic #harry potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter fanfiction

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beaulesbian · 2 months

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some zolu valentines thoughts bc as always, they're on my mind, but today there's two ways i think about it -

one, that's almost in the typical romantic sense - the devotion and love beyond the heaven and hell, and the trust that speaks volumes in just one look they share, the promises and kisses and everything in between.

but there's also the second idea in my head, the one with more of the aroace aspect of zolu that i love so much.

if there would be a valentines or love day that they would celebrate, it'd be for the whole crew something special.

nami is the only one to keep some sort of semblance of a calendar to keep in mind what day it is, and she mentions it kinda quietly, thinking of vivi and how she misses her, but sanji hears it and immediately starts to put together a plan how to win over the hearts of those he likes. then luffy overhears when sanji mutters to himself about a dinner celebration. and because if luffy hears 'celebration', he hears a party, which means food and drinks and joy for the whole crew!

robin explains with a quiet laughter that such day has different meanings for different people, and how everyone celebrates it in their own way, and luffy would shrug at the romantic parts with 'oh, i guess thats nice for you, can i have some meat now?' but would be excited for the dinner the whole day.

zoro would pass by on his way from his training, saying 'ditto' and going to pour a drink and sit beside luffy, until something new needs their attention, like usop and franky shouting excitedly from the workshop over the sound of various experiments.

maybe without realizing, luffy's eyes wonder over to zoro most of that day.

luffy then spends the day with each of his crewmember, learning new things they've been working on and finding out how they've been doing lately, he knows they're watching him with a simple curiousity of 'why the sudden interest, captain?' but he pays it no mind, he just wants to know more about his crew, about his friends.

he listens to nami going on about her new pencils and papers for charting maps she picked up at the last harbor, and fishes for a while with chopper who needed a break from cleaning his medical supplies.

he admires usopp's painting on canvas, his new ideas and sketches for stuff luffy never heard about, and plays with franky's hair just because franky seems to have fun watching luffy being so excited about his changing hair designs.

he compliments brook's new song when he ends playing the melody on his violin - it was something new, something more mellow and soothing and sweet.

jimbei is at the helm, watching over the ship, and luffy can be really quiet around him when he needs it, they watch the sea and the clouds pass by overhead and by the time the sun starts to set, luffy's stomach grumbles, letting itself know.

luffy tries to spend more time around sanji, but he kicks him out of the kitchen after the fifth time he asks him to get some samples before the big dinner. he can wait, it shouldn't be long after.

so he leaves the galley and finds zoro watching him, knowing their eyes met over the deck of the ship throughout the whole day, full of love and calmness. there's that comfortable feeling in his chest, settling down and making him sleepy. he smiles at zoro and swing over to him, finally, and finds out it's the best time for a nap before they get called over for the special dinner.

zoro presses close to him, a warm embrace at the end of the day, keeping the chill away. he's finished with cleaning his swords for the day and they're put away close to his side, so luffy settles closer and adjusts his straw hat on his head.

there's no need for many words between them, luffy couldn't help but keep his eyes on zoro during the day, just because he loves him, and because robin and sanji did say the day is special for celebrating love. he smiles at his swordsman and knows that zoro feels the same.

#i need to sleep idk why this got longer than few sentences #the sleep i lose over them istg #one piece #zolu #ficlet #aroace zolu #happy valentines day #for my aromantics and aroaces sillies <3 #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #straw hat crew #mine #gif:zolu #gif:writing

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aghostnamedcalamity · 2 months

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Hey-hey! ✨ I read your fic The Sleep That You've Craved and it's super cool! Do you plan to develop that story in more fics? :3 For example, to tell more about the times when Mordecai got together with Millicent?

(we need MOAR :D)

Helloooo thanks so much!! Sorry for the long wait, I was hoping to draw something for this but life got in the way!

Anyways, I currently don’t have any plans to work on it, but definitely think it needs a prequel at some point!! Maybe in the future. I’d love to show how Mordecai’s relationships with Joey and Millicent started as well as his initial reactions to a tiny baby.

Millicent was just a showgirl who took a liking to picking on Mordecai since he was a male in the industry who showed very little interest in getting to know her and she was used to getting that type of attention (she’s a bit of a selfish brat). I (personally) perceive Mordecai as aroace. But out of poor judgment one day, a little bit of alcohol, and just a bit of curiosity about what all the fuss is about from Mordecai’s end, they end up with Benjamin. Neither party was thrilled. Millicent kept him for his first two months of life before dumping him on Mordecai and heading out to Hollywood to try and become famous. Mordecai was initially going to put him on the orphan trains that ran out west but was looking at his options.

This is where Joey comes in!!!. Joey ended up working some shifts at Marigold after Gracie’s small establishment went under after his sudden disappearance. Joey remembered Mordecai and thought he looked super cool and that Mordecai could probably get a lot of girls (little did he know). Joey also lacks the self preservation skills to stay away from dangerous people so he kept nagging and nagging Mordecai until he managed to worm his way into a section of his life. Then, Joey left bartending behind after a raid shook him up real good. So he was jobless for a bit and kept bothering Mordecai to let him borrow money. Being in debt to Mordecai, Mordecai made him watch Benjamin until he could find a good solution to his problem as repayment for the money Joey owed him.

One thing led to another and Benjamin ends up staying longer than planned and Mordecai gets attached to him after a while, though he will never admit it. So Millicent is technically not a part of their lives (which Mordecai is very grateful for but Benjamin resents). She comes back into Benjamin’s life when he’s 16 and there’s a lot of unresolved issues between them because of the absence but she will unfortunately pass away from lung cancer around the time he turns 18. It was sadly very common for showgirls at the time due to constant second hand smoke exposure. She never really reached the level of stardom she was seeking in her youth, but she did manage to create somewhat of a more positive relationship with her son near the end and Benjamin visits where she’s resting very often to leave fresh flowers.

Super super long answer but I hope this helps tie some loose ends in my story just in case I never get around to continuing it!! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my work, heldiggy!! 💕

#QnA

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ferris-the-wheel · 10 days

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Hello,

Thanks to your lovely input, I'd like to request a 💙 for your 100 followers event. One-sided Malleus x Kasai.

You already know about Kasai, so I'm not gonna bother explaining her personality.

I've got 2 ideas that I can't pick from, so you can do whichever one you like more. Either Malleus doesn't know Kasai is Aroace and gets rejected (so a bit of 🧡 with kasai giving comfort) Or He gets told by someone and has to try and push his feelings away and it only ends up hurting him and their friendship in the end.

(If you do decide to have him get rejected then Kasai wouldn't be mean about it because she's used to getting confessed to)

This poor dragon man finally meets another Dragon who doesn't fear him at all only to learn he can't be with her. (Delicious Angst)

You don't gotta do this if you don't want to obvi.

Posted 4/18/24

{ 100 Followers Event — Twisted Wonderland }

Included Character(s): Malleus Draconia

Setting: Inside Diasomnia for the most part

Emoji(s): 💙/🧡

Perspective: Malleus Draconia

Scenario: Second option of the request.

A/N: I love me some angst and have the perfect idea. Tysm Doodle-loo ♡♡♡ Also! Trying a new writing style as I normally write in past-tense, but consider your request a test run to see if I like present-tense <3 Also sorry it's a bit short–

Contains (TW): Heartbreak? (rip get Malleus an angst rain check)

Admittedly, Malleus is quite fond of Kasai. He values her friendship more so than most of the other people he knows. He doesn't quite know what this feeling is, only that it's different from the fatherly feeling he feels from Lilia, or the brotherly feeling from Silver.

He knows of love and has heard it described by many, but it felt different to him than how he'd heard it. He doesn't know how to describe it, even now that he's experiencing it.

He realizes now that the feeling is love. He's surprised to discover that he feels that kind of attraction toward someone, not platonic, but romantic. Pleasantly surprised, though, but with this pleasant feeling came one of nervousness, which is a new thing for him to feel in this way.

What if she does not feel the same toward me? He asks himself, then decides to do as he always does when he cannot figure something out: ask Lilia for advice.

He leaves his room and travels down the long, winding corridors of Diasomnia until he reaches Lilia's door. He knocks, and upon hearing a "Hm? Come in!", he stoops to avoid hitting his horns on the doorframe and enters.

Lilia looks surprised yet amused by Malleus' presence. "Oh, Mal Mal! What do you need?" He asks with a grin. Malleus sits on the desk chair, casting a quick, curious glance at the computer before turning to face Lilia.

"Lilia. I come to you in need of assistance." Malleus replies with a somber expression. Lilia gives a giggle. "Fufufufu! What do you need?"

Malleus hesitates for a moment. "I would like to confess my feelings for Kasai." He says, waiting for Lilia's teasing response and eventual agreement. However, he is confused by Lilia's almost comedic wince.

"Ooo, um... about that, Mal Mal." Lilia says with a pained expression on his face. "Kasai is not interested in being with anyone that way."

Malleus is caught off guard and confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean she's aroace." Lilia says, causing Malleus to become even more confused. "Arrow... what?" He asks with a quizzical look to the smaller fae.

He's heartbroken. Lilia had spent a good thirty minutes explaining what aroace was to the fae prince and answering his questions. Malleus has a crestfallen look on his face as Lilia hovers by his side and gives him a pat on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, Malleus. You'll get over it eventually." Lilia says comfortingly. "You're still young. You'll find another love one day."

Perhaps not the most comforting of words, but they seemed to some effect, for the prince lifted his head, a slight pout still etched upon his lips.

Malleus teleports away from the corridor he was in, appearing in an empty one. He had seen Kasai meandering down it, chatting with someone else. His heart still hurts too much to be able to compose himself in front of her.

As Lilia had told him, he has hopes that soon his feelings will begin to fade. He misses his fellow dragon's company, but is unwilling to face her, despite knowing that she would not act any different because she does not know what he feels for her.

Until the day comes that his heart does not sink every time he sees her, he will keep himself at a distance.

Twst taglist: @edith-is-a-cat @twst-om-lover @l7k-a @lu-lul @lyle-my-beloved @xen-blank @cookiesandbiscuits @mermaidfanficlibrary @doodler17 @felixsterprankster @v-anrouge @casp1an-sea @h2llish

#ೃ⁀➷ ferris' responses #ೃ⁀➷ ferris' 100 followers event!! ♥︎#: ̗̀➛ 《 doodle✏️ 》#malleus draconia

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valeffelees · 7 months

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hey, g'morn ☀️

i really have no respect for the sanctity of the word "snippet". save for a short scene between aggie and simon, and all of the simon and baz interactions i'm hoarding, y'all've read pretty much the entire first chapter of bitverse via my wipsday posts lmfao

but that's okay, i have no regrets 👍

this'll prolly read best if you've read [this snippet] first, but you don't have to bc ngl this whole altverse is completely incomprehensible as is. and also i dunno if it's just me but Tumblr is being proper shit today and won't let me indent text? so i'm doing tags up here. i hope y'all are well and that september has been kind to you so far!

Tag, you're it! 🪄 @cutestkilla @raenestee @hushed-chorus @thewholelemon @larkral @artsyunderstudy @blackberrysummerblog @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @imagineacoolusername @ivelovedhimthroughworse @facewithoutheart @rimeswithpurple @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists @nightimedreamersworld @shrekgogurt @prettygoododds @youarenevertooold @alexalexinii @fatalfangirl @cosmicalart

cw: drinking/alcohol, funeral mention

His father stares at him through the flickering dark. A sluggish display of thin purple eyelids and sticky, tangled brown lashes. Simon wonders when that drawn, vacant expression stopped looking so out of place on him, when all the sharp triumph and dynamic bends of his father’s face gave way to the frowning slack of his cheeks, the flat weight of his brow.

Propping himself onto an elbow, his father scratches at the patchy stubble tapering down his neck. “Yeah,” he replies. Lying. Nobody’s been in the kitchen tonight. The stove light is off. And when Simon flicks it on, the only dishes in the sink are his own.

“Okay,” Simon says.

He opens the fridge. An obscene amount of food is crowded inside—tupperware container after tupperware container of hearty, home-cooked meals, loading up the shelves and crispers. (Like sardines in a can, he thinks. Like cars outside a funeral.) Maple-glazed carrots, shepherd’s pie, peameal bacon, tofu scramble, fried fiddleheads, chicken stew, hashed potatoes, whipped potatoes, scalloped potatoes, baked potatoes, cheesy potatoes—who even needs this many fucking potatoes?

Apparently this is what people do when someone dies.

Leave their shit leftovers at your door.

Simon grabs a half-empty tub of something cold and lumpy from the top shelf before closing the fridge with the side of his foot. He doesn’t remember what he had for breakfast, but the spoon in the sink looks clean enough. “Gran asked about you,” Simon says, cracking the lid off, taking a bite. He frowns at the eggy taste of potato salad. “Wants you to call her. Think she’s pissed.

(Pissed is an understatement. Simon never much understood the turn of phrase if looks could kill until today, when he walked into his mother’s funeral alone. His grandmother’s chin twisted right up when she saw him, the corners of her eyes pinching tight. He thought it to himself right then—if looks could kill.)

His father doesn’t reply.

Simon glances over his shoulder, but he can’t see the couch from here. Just the television, a bit of the coffee table, the shadow of the front door stretched between panes of rain-speckled yellow. Simon toes down the heels of his J&Ms, kicks them aside, one by one, and shuffles back into the lounge room, digging through his bowl for chunks of celery and green onion.

He turns below the archway expecting his father to be asleep again, because that is what Davy Cadwallader does these days. Sleeps in a shallow grave of body sweat and sunken cushions, buried in the wilting memory of where Lucy Salisbury used to curl her feet up watching sitcoms and reading love stories by lamplight.

But instead, Simon finds him with his head between his knees.

Clasping his mouth.

Heaving.

Choking.

Shaking.

Simon makes a strangled noise (that might have been “Wait!”) (or might have been “Dad!”) (or might have been “Fuck!”) as he rushes to the washroom to trade his potato salad for the empty Chapman’s tub behind the toilet tank.

“Don’t puke!” he shouts, and yanks open the linen cupboard. The door hits the wall and fifty-fucking-thousand plasters fall from the middle shelf like one of those shit spring-loaded snake-in-a-can gags as Simon reaches between bottles of Tylenol and Buckley’s to pry out a fresh roll of paper towel.

“Don’t puke, don’t puke!”

Simon was sixteen the first time he drank himself sick.

It was his birthday—their birthday. His and Syd’s. But the party was for Simon. The better half of their entire junior year showed up, and he wants to say it was fun, but he honestly doesn’t remember much of the party itself besides the glow of the bonfire and Snapple Spiked peach tea and Agatha’s soft mouth.

What he does remember is coming home.

The way the whole world was tilting and creaking around him; the front door, the old floors, the couch springs.

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking, his teeth wouldn’t stop shivering. He was cold and tangled on the inside, blinking full of slow, sleepy dead spots and the humid June dark, wrapped around himself on his side trying to breathe through a vicious, green nausea when his father sat down beside him in his pyjamas, still mussed with sleep.

There’s a blink in his memory—and suddenly Simon is hugging that same Chapman's tub to his stomach and curled against his father’s shoulder and Doctor Who is playing in the background and he’s drunk and embarrassed and asking, “Are you mad? Are you mad? Dad, are you mad at me?”

A hand on his head.

“Hush.” Fingers in his hair. “You'll wake your mother.”

“Are you mad?”

“I'll be mad later.”

“I’m so drunk,” Simon whined.

“I can see that. How’s it feel, hero?”

“Am I going to die?”

His father laughed. “Well, I hope not,” he said. “I’d miss you.”

#tumblr was being so fucking mean to me this morning #so i'm sorry if i ghost-tagged you like fifty times trying to figure out why the fuck my posts weren't working lmfao 💀#wip wednesday #carry on #simon snow #davy cadwallader #(unfortunately)#snowbaz #bitverse

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not-brionnne · 2 months

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NSFW. 18+. Okay. Oh God, uh. What if— like okay— hear me out— I know that people— I know that some people see Laios as aroace or some variation—fair and valid—and that Farcielle is the only valid ship to them, but God. God... What if— Modern AU!Farcielle.

Hear me out. They go to the same college. They're terribly in love. Falin dies. Marcielle is still very Consumed by Devotion. This destroys her. Laios is still very Devoted to Consumption. The death is— it is. It sure is. For awhile, Marcielle can't even stand to see his face or hear his voice. They're so similar, and God, she hates it. She hates it—at first. But God, she's clinging onto sheets and shirts and whatever she can and it's fading and it's all fading so fast and Laios is just trying to help in his own way. And it hurts. It hurts because it isn't her. And it hurts, but fuck, she's so tired. It's eating her alive, and he's right there, and maybe she hates him. Even though it's not his fault. Even though he's done nothing wrong. Even thinking about that—with his mannerisms and his voice and his face—makes her feel sick. Makes her feel disgusted. She doesn't hate him. She can't hate him. He's the only thing pulling her through. The only pillar she has left, and she leans, and leans, and leans. Tilting into the sickness rather than out. He looks so much like her, she finds herself thinking, an affectionate, frustrated smile creasing her mouth. And her eyes widen, and she's running. "I have to go!" She yells, keys jangling, voice shaking, and Laios tries. He tries to run after her. The plate she dropped digs into his foot, and he stumbles onto the door. Her door. The start of an engine. It turns over. Once. Twice. Then starts. By the time he fumbles with the knob, the telltale rev of an engine says he's too late. She disappears for a month and doesn't answer calls. He tries to look for her. He keeps calling. He keeps her couch warm until she comes back. He stress eats. He doesn't know what happened. He doesn't know why. He doesn't know how to fix it. And he waits. "Like a dog," says Marcielle. "Like a wolf," he retorts. She doesn't reply.

...

Marcielle returns and his wait is rewarded. His tail practically wags when he hears her keys jingling. He's done little else. The dish she dropped hadn't been moved. The food had. His foot has been wrapped, and the blood on both (the wrap, the dish, the floor) has clotted. Laios clears it up as best as he can now, frantic and frenzied and guilty.

Like a dog, he thinks. He dumps it in the bin and scrambles back to the couch to hide his misdeeds. Like a dog, he thinks again.

...

Marcielle unlocks the door with her head inclined; a soft open. The quietest of sighs breaks the silence. She turns on the light. Click. He shifts in place. "I missed you..."

Soft, like the door, like the sigh. Then broken. She screams. Breathes in. Places a hand over her chest and closes her eyes. She's upset. Shaken. More than that, she's angry. She doesn't know how to tell him that his face is the last one she wants to see. And yet. And yet. For a second, it happens again. She sees her. Falin. And then she's furious. She's walking over. She's pounding on his chest, and he's solid, and his arms are around her, and she's crying. She's crying for the first time in months. "I missed you, too," she sniffles, and she wants to be talking to Laios—she does, she swears she does—but she doesn't know who she's speaking to. She doesn't know if it's him or a memory. Her perception is all twisted. And she's looking up, she's checking to be sure, and it's Falin's kindness, painted there, and she's crying harder, and her hands won't stop hitting, but he's holding her softly, and she thinks for a second that it'll be okay, that their friendship will hold like this. She reaches to wipe her tears, and his hands take up this task, too.

It's awkward. It doesn't read of Falin at all. He's lumbersome and ungentle. He's never known what to do, but he does it. He tries. His finger swipes across her cheek again, and her breath stalls. It feels like a betrayal.

Everything else does, too. Every part of it. Yet she's leaning and now he's leaning, too. And it's dreadful. One of his hands still holds hers up to his chest. It feels like such a mockery of intimacy. And they're kissing and it sparks across her skin and roils in her stomach. She can't define sickness from lust. They fall together, onto the couch he kept warm. Onto the cold floor. She cries openly. And she yearns. And she misses. And she can't stop, even if she wants to. Marcielle thought she hated Laios. She knew the only thing she'd ever hated was herself.

And Laios? Laios has never been so hungry. He's never realized how deep his hunger could go. That it could be for something—someone—else. Something like this. It yawns open inside him. Tells him to take. And he's a dog again, fighting for scraps.

He licks at her tears, feels her hands tighten around his arms. Hips canting up as she sobs. It twists inside his stomach, snake-like, and he struggles. "Tell me," Laios groans. "Tell me to stop, Marci." He begs. "Please."

"Falin..." Marcielle croaks. She looks at him and doesn't see her at all. "Falin, I'm sorry..."

And he takes. He takes and takes and takes. And she gives. She allows it. Her consumption. Until there is nothing left.

...because without Falin, there isn't.

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the-official-matchmaking-office · 2 months

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So I don't know if this is a question you could help with but I didn't know who else to ask. Basically, there's this girl that I really like. She's in my grade and I'm really good friends with her. She's lesbian which is freaking awesome because well, I'm a girl. We've said 'I love you' a couple times but I'm pretty sure she means it to be entirely platonic. I don't tho. Like I really mean it when I say it. She's also said she's not interested in dating anyone right now so I don't think she even sees me as a possible crush. But...she's amazing. And kind and smart and funny. She's super observant and notices the tiny details in everything. She's in some of the same fandoms that I'm in so we get to talk about that often. We send each other pins and memes from our fandom and just random stuff to make the other laugh. I know she'll always have my back no matter what and she knows I'll always have hers. The thing is, even if she liked me back (and that's a big if) and was ok with us dating, my family is super homophobic and would never allow it. It just doesn't seem fair to her. I really want to tell her before the end of the school year tho. I know that there's no way that I'd be able to wait till after summer break. So I need help. How do I tell a super amazing, absolutely out of my league, girl that I like her? I need help really badly.

*rolls up sleeves* well i can say you have come to the entirely wrong person but i will try to help so firstly start like doing small things that people in couples tend to do for eachother but could be interpreted as platonic now i have no examples because i'm aroace and i don't give a shit about romance okay so next you're going to see what her reactions are to these little things and if she's fine with them you're going to start doing bigger gestures i.e giving her flowers or something and holding hands like stuff like that so someone who doesn't know you would assume that you two are dating but if she's comfortable with it than you should tell her that you really like her and if you're like me and have anxiety than you can find a secure place away from your family and write out each thing and her reaction and if she says that she likes you back than you can start dating but be careful if you're in public or at your house also if her parents aren't homophobic than you can tell them but say that your parents aren't accepting. oh yeah and if all goes well and she says yes send me another ask saying how it went

boom

also for your bit of information on the matchmaking office the boss we had before Councillor Alina became the boss was the ex-councillor Fitan Pyren and no one checked so legally until Alina became the boss Fitan was our boss which was fucking wild

oh yeah also while Fitan didn't technically pay me he would occasionally throw a luster or two at me and ask me to go get better coffee than the stuff we have at the office and let me keep the change

#matchmaking office lore #fintan matchmaking lore #matchmaker lore

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heraldofcrow · 5 months

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I saw your ff7 vs bb meme and now I am curious

who do you like more, Bloody crow or Sephiroth? 🤣

mother of god, if that ain’t the question of the year. um.

I’ll choose the best answer and just say Eileen the Crow because she wins and most likely wouldn’t try to kill me if she was real, so there, I’m free. Yipeeee!!!

Ok fineeeee—a specific answer just for you:

Bloody Crow wins by default because Soulsborne is just my “home” fandom forever. Besides LOTR ofc. But that fandom is too big and old for me to feel like I could find a secure space, so Soulsborne it is and has been for years. I just live here, and Crow is the only Soulsborne character besides Lady Maria, Eileen, and Ciaran that I really, really went to work for in terms of developing a backstory and complicated personality for. He is more like an original character at this point for me specifically, and so very precious. My crow boi <3

Sephiroth is weird because he feels like a character I have been looking for or “knew” for years, but it doesn’t make sense lol. I grew up surrounded by friends that loved FF7 and I never got it…I guess?

In fact, I actually didn’t like it sjdhshs. I admittedly judged by appearance, but I was like, “The characters all look like these bizarre supermodel action figures with oversized weapons!!”

Meanwhile, my hypocritical ass with Soulsborne:

“It’s peak game design.”

But I really did not like Final Fantasy or FF7. I would see Sephiroth around, specifically the shot of him surrounded by flames from Advent Children, and just think, “There’s that fucking guy again” and I ignored him. I didn’t figure out until later that the reason he pissed me off so much is because I knew, I just absolutely knew, that if I gave him my attention for longer than five seconds, he would probably take over my life. Help.

I was terrified. I even remember seeing some of the Remake trailers a few years back and actually hearing some of his lines for the first time, and I kid you not, I felt the slightest pull of, “Wait…” and then IMMEDIATELY went, “Nope, fuck you” in my head and walked away 💀

My reaction to him was always incredibly visceral, so naturally, one night I was having a chill discussion with my friend ABOUT BLOODY CROW from Bloodborne and somehow we ended up making a Sephiroth comparison of course, and then it happened.

I was like, “Oh hahaha yeah Sephiroth, that guy. Let me watch some clips to remember what he’s all about again, hahahaa.”

Hours passed and I didn’t sleep that night, like at all. I watched every available canonical cutscene video compilation of Sephiroth on the internet and read every bit of information I could find and immediately started playing the FF7 games and reading fan-fiction and listening to One-Winged Angel for entire days on repeat and talking with people on tumblr and twitter and researching for seven days without sleep until I emerged to burn down a small village and AAAAA—so yeah.

I was freaking out, like literally trying to tell myself to stop as I just kept falling down the rabbit hole. I was so mad. It took over 20 years but I finally caved and here we are. I’m not okay. This character actually makes me insane, and believe it or not, it’s not even simping. I’m aroace as hell and pretty impervious. He just gives me brain severe damage for weirdly personal reasons. Lmao.

I’m honestly shocked with my level of self-control because I want to write essays on the character but I just stay pretty quiet.

So anyway, I guess I just like characters with silver hair :)))

Much love, anon <3

#god i’m so tired #sorry anon gfdhyjus #it was a simple question but i am bursting at the seams here #see i am writing Crow myself so he is just forever special but i rarely have had an actually developed character affect me so specifically #i don’t…get to have this very often?? I guess?? like characters other people have written that i actually have a personal connection to??#it’s either that or i’m just reliving my 10 year old self’s obsession with vader/anakin skywalker again because i loved villains as a kid #who knows #anyway i’m normal #lol #asks #anonymous #bloody crow of cainhurst #sephiroth #ff7 vs bloodborne #fandom stuff

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dandelion-wings · 9 months

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I am never going to write this fic but the concept has entertained me at the barn for the last two days straight, so:

After Shadows Amidst Snowstorms, Albedo decides to 'share' his life with Subject Two, and they trade off on life in Mondstadt (giving Albedo extra time to work on Dragonspine) as Subject Two learns to socialize with human beings and exist as a person.

Just as Subject Two is starting to become comfortable interacting with people, Sucrose decides to finally act on her crush on Albedo and make some romantic overtures.

Subject Two finds himself unexpectedly, absurdly charmed to be given a custom-alchemied flower. (With a bunch of notes on its creation, care, and potential functions, because Sucrose was aware of her target audience, even if she's unaware that she hasn't reached it.) He's been avoiding Sucrose a bit up until now because he was afraid someone who worked so closely with Albedo would suss him out, but clearly he is Succeeding At Albedoing if she gave him a flower! He starts hanging out with her more often while he's in Mondstadt, and tends the flower very carefully, because it's his first ever gift from a Real Person (that didn't, uh, explode in his face, because Klee).

Sucrose is thrilled with the success of her attempt. He likes it! He likes it a lot! Time to move on to Phase 2: making scientific observations together!

Albedo, returning to his turn at Being Albedo, is not sure why Sucrose is inviting him to observe whopperflowers with her? He's sure she's competent to handle one on her own if they become hostile. But he doesn't turn her down. He just also... doesn't understand why she's leaning up against him, or putting her hand on his arm so much.

Sucrose is disappointed in this sudden coolness. Maybe she's moving too fast? He's not bringing the flower to the laboratory anymore, so clearly she was jumping the gun. :(

Except that a few days later he starts again! And when he does, he brings her a flower, too. (A knight had commented on it while he was carrying the pot around, and when he said it was from Sucrose, he'd been told he ought to give one back. Important Humaning Advice that Subject Two took immediately to heart!) It's made of stone and he explains how he alchemically crafted it and she's so glad that he seems to be coming around.

Until he isn't, again, because her next few gestures get gently turned down. :( And then he is, again, suddenly, because the week later he brings her a dessert to split and goes to dinner when she invites him, but then the week after that he asks why she's trying to hold his hand, which they had been doing the past few days, and then- it's hot-and-cold to an irrational extent, here.

Sucrose, being a scientist, starts making exhaustive notes. At first she's trying to figure out if there's some external factor--her timing, Albedo's physical condition, Klee's proximity, other knights' attention, etc. But very quickly she determines that the only relevant data is... oh. hmm. small physical irregularities. She'd been willing to put down the slightly different shade of blue to the eyes as a trick of the light, but the mark at his throat goes perceptively off-model now and then, and that's always when he's interested....

Anyway, that's why she rigs an elaborate series of traps in order to confine both of them at once and determine the exact nature of what's going on here. Wait, they're both homunculi? This is fascinating, she needs to take so many notes, have they run any tests, can she run more tests--yes, she'll let them out of the traps, she just needs to make exhaustive notes on their perceptible differences first.

Subject Two cannot understand why Albedo wouldn't want to hold this woman's hand. Fortunately, while she was initially crushing on Albedo, at this point she'd rather have the one who's been actively and enthusiastically building a romantic relationship with her. Albedo, being very aroace, is frankly relieved to cede this particular ground. (Although he does get to practice his Big Brothering and note to Sucrose that she should probably go light on the testing, as that is a bit of a sore spot.) Happy endings all around!

Including for at least one future baby Fellflower, because Subject Two knows where some dormant seeds are buried and (correctly) decides that Sucrose would love to help him raise them, and Klee, because obviously what every happy couple wants on their romantic fellflower-seed-unearthing dates is explosions in the background. :>

#shadows amidst snowstorms #like candy for alchemists

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schizowitchic · 1 month

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re: the last post i reblogged i am now going to rant about biphobia i have experienced and am experiencing! yay /s

(under a cut bc this got way too long)

so in secondary school i was in a friend group full of queer people, majority of whom were bisexual girls (at the time. a couple are now nonbinary / asexual) . and they were very big on the whole "bisexual culture is liking every woman and 2 men" thing, a lot of "ew men" jokes, and all in all general "liking women is better than liking men" "why am i dating a gross icky man i should be with a woman".

now i am more attracted to men than women, not by much, its typically fairly equal, but i definitely have a leaning towards men. and i repressed that for AGES. because it simply was "frowned upon", so to speak, from almost everyone i was close with

(for further context for the rest of this. i am not out as genderfluid. i use she/her pronouns irl and ppl know me as a cis woman. i am not really out as aromantic, when i identified as aroace i did tell a few people but i think they either completely ignored me or forgot. lol.)

nowadays, i tell my friends i am bisexual. one in particular always seems to forget, constantly calling me gay/lesbian, assuming i have no opinion or that my opinion will be "ew no" when she asks if i find a man she likes hot. (she has told me so many times "why am i asking you this you don't even like men". i have told her i am bisexual several times) (she also thinks it's funny to call me & another friend "f-slurs" . she says that not the actual word but still. i have to find it funny bc she gets so defensive if we imply she's homophobic)

(i do call myself gay bc i consider none of my attraction ever to be straight. i have no major issues with being called a lesbian apart from the fact that. yknow. im not a lesbian and have never identified as such)

i made a post a while back saying something like "help im being biseuxal erasured". because i am!! i am stuck in yet another situation with people who are either mainly attracted to women/only attracted to women/don't often talk about their attraction to me & also two cishet girls who are attracted to men in a very different way than i am (one of whom erases the fact i am attracted to men and the other who i don't like and probably assumes i'm a lesbian bc of how often everyone else says that)

also full of "ew men" jokes!!. might i add.

i literally have no space to talk about the way i experience attraction, i have to water it down and pretend i only like women, pretend i am interested in romance, pretend i feel attraction when the occasioanll bout of extreme sex-repulsion hits, take (albeit censored) homophobic slurs, sex jokes about me & another female friend that are getting uncomfortable.

and pretend like the main perpretatror of this isn't being at all queerphobic. (she also has massive racism and antisemitism issues. although my friend did throw basically a whole book at her face when she made a really bad joke). to the point where i no longer consider her a friend but i can't say that bc then im overreacting and i'll get the same bullying ostracisation treatment & my friends are still gonna hang out w her so i can't avoid it

people wonder why i am aplatonic when throughout friendships i have experienced: making fun of me to my face & behind my back, bullying, homophobia, biphobia, aphobia, ableism .

like what the fuck. im sick and fucking tired of having nowhere safe to express my sexuality bc let's be real, the internet often isn't the best space.

ive made my peace with either having to compromise my aromanticism or my allosexuality irl (ie either be out as bisexual or out as aroace) but apparently i can't even freely be bisexual without people making assumptions and at this point im just waiting it out until i can hit restart and try make new friends

#biphobia #homophobia #long post #aphobia #queerphobia #bisexual #im aware some of my wording may be misinterpreted . im struggling to explain this #as you may be able to tell from the longwindedness #having friends is exhausting and stressful #aplatonic #aromantic #personal #rant #nyxie be quiet challenge

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the-owl-house-takes · 7 months

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ngl i think its just as aphobic to hc a character as aroace because you "feel gross thinking about them in a relationship" or "cant think of anyone to ship them with" or "the guy is a virgin cus hes not married therefore hes aroace"

like. do you think ur crush not reciprocating makes them aroace too? are the people you dislike in life all aroace and gross cus u dont wanna fuck them or find their dating life uninteresting? am i gross to you? shipping isnt everything either. just cus u cant think of a ship for a character or u dont like the character that doesnt mean he HAS to be aroace. just so you wont 'have' to ship him. belos can be straight or gay or whatever without sexuality NEEDING to be related to a ship. single people exist. i mean, for belos i doubt hed want to have sex with witches. but in general just cus a character is waiting until marriage or is a virgin past the age of 20 or a religious lunatic doesnt neccessarily mean theyre aroace. and theyre certainly not evil or villains for being virgins either. good people can be virgins too and it shoudnt be shamed or something shameful everyone laughs at u for.

this is partially in response to that person earlier cus like. "hes gross i cant imagine anyone to ship him with so hes aroace" okay thanks ill make sure to take note that only gross characters who cant be shipped can be aroace. like. is lilith gross too. am i gross too. come on.

as for villains i dont care if you hc tvem as aroace or any aspec identity for as long as you dont do it BECAUSE thetre a villain. like. "dont hc evil characters as queer because theyre evil" is not something i should have to write out and explain. in 2023.

altho ngl some of is definitely amplified from other fandoms as well, it was very popular in an old fandom of mine to headcanon the frequently hced as depressed evil character and the evil zombie character as aroace. cus they couldnt think of anyone to ship them with. like. the depressed guy. cus if ur aspec ur... depressed ig. and the rotting zombie. babygirl if someone tried to fuck that his dick would fall off. come on.

the point is dont hc characters as aroace just because you wouldnt fuck them or you dont like them or theyre evil or depressed or their dick would fall off. like. cmon.

#the owl house #toh #emperor belos #philip wittebane

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archipelago-siren · 7 months

Text

I had to write my thoughts down and wanted to vent to the void. I wrote this last night after waking up at 3am from a dream that was very much *headfuck* and needed to finally format some of my processing.

I started identifying as being on the Aromantic spectrum last year, and got into a QPR just over a week after discovering what Aromanticism was. (Which in hindsight, I should have stood my ground and waited longer until doing so but nevermind)

Anyway, 2 simultaneous QPR's and a lot of trauma later I've been riding solo for over 4 months now and finally had that sexuality self evaluation that I've been wanting. Only now it's with more experience and awareness/knowledge of the Aromantic spectrum and community.

For the past year I've found comfort in my online Aro communities, specifically being AroAllo. I've found a niche little group of people who I can relate to and make me feel seen.

My evaluation and self reflection regarding my sexuality has made apparent something which hasn't taken me by surprise per say, but has definitely thrown a spanner in the works.

I realised very early on in my learning and journey that Aromantic and Asexual identities have parallel labels,

E.g. Lithromantic, Lithrosexual etc.

As I've been digging deeper into the rabbit hole that is sexuality microlabels, (because the Autism requires labels, irrelevant if I do or don't use them I needs them!) ((I just had gollum's voice in my head as I wrote that 😅)) I've unintentionally been learning a lot of specific asexual identities aswell.

Now, I've always had a complex relationship with my sexual attraction/sexuality surrounding sex, but for a long time just shoved it off as being because of growing up religious, sexual trauma, and just being wired a little bit differently.

The Asexual label never resonated with me because 1) I can experience sexual attraction and enjoy sex, and 2) my feelings on sexual attraction often change and fluctuate.

There had never been an on switch in my brain that went 'It me' and meant I compulsively had to go down a rabbit hole of finding my microlabels.

Until recently, sort of.

After a lot of self reflection I've come to realise I am somewhere on a very niche and obscure part of the Asexual spectrum. I don't know where, or exactly which labels specific to being on the Acespec I feel would fit just yet. This is causing me distress.

On the one hand I feel I will have a lot of mental stability and calm once I find my place, and a better understanding of myself going forward which will help me with, well, a lot.

On the other hand - I've grown attached to my AroAllo label and the community I have found myself in. I don't want to lose that.

Once I find my place and where it is on the Asexual spectrum I lie, I don't want to be giving up any previously established parts of my identity, and instead feel I can only claim AroAce (which I don't feel adequately represents my identity and comfortably fits me ).

My compromise/comfort term I have found regarding both my Aro and Aceness is Arohaze: a label which can be used as a middle ground for AroAllo and AroAce.

I just hope once I've finally figured my sexuality out my brain doesn't start telling me I can't co-exist between the two.

#aromantic spectrum #aroallo #arospec #Arohaze #aroace #asexual spectrum

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space-blue · 2 years

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Stupid K/DA Evelynn in Arcane Zaun idea

It's eating my brains. I'll never write it but boi would it be fun... Assuming everyone is familiar with K/DA's Evelynn? She's presumably still a demon, on top of being a K-Pop diva?

Although in the Pop/Stars video she has a lovely shimmer colouring going on!

Anyway. She's a demon. She seduces people before shattering their expectations and feeding on their despair and suffering or some shit.

I'm picturing Silco going home one day in the dead of night. 4am, that sort of boring time where the drunks are in the gutter and too early for first shift workers. Proper quiet even so close to the brothels.

Now this Silco, he would have been born and raised in a brothel. Always 20+ moms, and plenty of work for him around the place, up to knifing the more annoying Johns when he's big (and vicious) enough.

So when he stumbles on a woman who's unconscious, very skimpily clothed, wrapped in weird rope-like fabric, he's not surprised. He's seen people get violent with whores. He's seen worse than this too, because at least she's alive.

Everything is closed, calling enforcers isn't an option, and this is uncomfortably near the Last Drop. Wouldn't want to be seen by one of Vander's people. Silco has a hide-out in the area, so he picks her up—she's surprisingly light—and brings her there.

She's properly out of it, so Silco has time to unwrap her and realise this isn't a human. No humans would have scaly strips of fabric growing out of their lower back... So he stands vigil and waits for her to wake up.

When Evelynn comes around, she's very confused and very grumpy. There's this human with an interesting eye sitting by the bed, she's got a scratchy cover on... He fills her in on the situation and it's very clear that she's not anywhere she knows, and worse : she probably owes her life to this guy.

Evelynn immediately tries to charm him to get out of that debt. You can't owe anything to dead people, after all.

And then you'd get Silco just... blinking at her. Nonplussed. Absolute aroace shield. All her efforts bounce off of him. Man is NOT INTERESTED. Might even watch curiously as Evelynn tries a couple different body shapes and genders to find a sweet spot. Nothing. She isn't a Free Nation of Zaun, so he's just not into it.

Evelynn is mystified, having never failed to woo someone before. Now she's curious, and well, it's awkward too. Easier to just ask him what he wants, what she can do to make them even.

Silco, not being one to watch a gift horse in the mouth, promptly explains his situation. He's building this shimmer thing. He's keeping an eye out on Vander, this man who betrayed him and took over the city.

Evelynn is curious, so they talk and talk. It becomes clear she's talking to a truly driven, and dare I say, unhinged man. That betting on him could lead her to absolute dominance on an entire city, with plenty of meals on the way there and beyond.

So they agree on a quick pact. She kills one chembaron for her debt. Silco houses her at the cannery until she gets herself settled, and in exchange for that she helps manipulates a couple gang leaders into attacking each other.

One thing leads to another. Mostly all goes according to plan. Evelynn is just... having fun. She bonds with Singed too, taking great pleasure attending his vivisections, even helping keeping the subjects down and paralyses with her lashers.

Then Silco brings her proper flashy foreign clothes he "acquired" discreetly. Now Evelynn can move into higher society circles in Piltover, passing for a foreigner.

Things are moving, and poor Vander doesn't cotton on to *anything*. Man is confused as hell. People are dying right, left and center, but not in any way he understands. Gangs that had an agreement with him are suddenly at each other's throats. Councillors are sending enforcers into Zaun and undermining his pact with Grayson, for no apparent reason either. He's losing power and influence and he doesn't understand HOW.

Cue Evelynn and Silco cackling like little bitches together. They literally make each other worse in the most efficient manner possible. Before the end they're a great queerplatonic couple, working miracles together. It's not like Evelynn's darker needs are an issue for Silco either. Unlikely they'll run out of Pilties any time soon, and they can all suffer, as far as he's concerned.

((imagine them meeting Swain. Silco nodding at his 6 eyed crow like, yeah, it's cute, I've got a demon too. Swain looking around, confused. "Oh, no, it's her—" points to Evelynn who's like "What? Talking about me?"))

I can't imagine Evelynn would be the healthiest role model for Jinx either, if events still came to pass that puts her under Silco's care. But I bet they'd get on very well and Eve would have fun "mothering" little Jinx.

That's how you get your Free Nation of Zaun without the events of the show.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#evelynn #k/da evelynn #K/DA #arcane #silco #jinx #vander #arcane silco #fic idea #stupid silly stuff

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