#umm if I didn’t mention a point here it is probably in another post about Tommy like the one I posted recently…
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So while I’m all for drawing the conversation away from legality, trauma, innocence, bashing c!Tommy in the name of c!Dream lol….etc. I did basically write this essay about c!Tommy first and someone asked me to share, so I shall. @poisedava this is for you. ;) <3
Here’s the thing and this is important - it does not go both ways. If c!Tommy wants to be considered an innocent ‘child’, a teenager, a minor, who is too young and naive to know that what he does is wrong and how that hurts people and has consequences then he doesn’t just get to act like an adult and start wars, serve as a government official, build nations, torture, steal, murder, enslave, commit terrorism, blackmail, assassinate…etc and face no repercussions because ‘he didn’t know better.’ If you want to act like an adult then you’ll be treated as such.
Now I don’t believe that we should view the dsmp in the realm of irl crimes, since there is no legal system or set of rules in place in the dsmp (besides the ones c!Dream set and everyone breaks of course), but if ya’ll are going to say c!Dream deserves prison because of his ‘crimes’ and write off c!Tommy’s actions as less because he is a minor then I will look at it, especially because the term ‘minor’ is connected to the legal system of our world and that is where we are deriving this perceived innocence.
On that note, there are crimes in many countries that even if you’re a minor or a child you can be tried as an adult for reasons like a severe crime (for example first degree murder) and/or if it is a repeated offense despite disciplinary actions. In this case, both apply, as many of the things listed above are repeated abhorrent offenses. Secondly, the definition of ‘minor’ and the age of becoming an adult, while typically set at 18 is not universal. In Scotland for instance, 16 is the legal age of adulthood, which is how old c!Tommy was when he joined the smp.
But looking beyond legally speaking, I for one hardly consider 16 to be a child or an innocent naive minor in the first place. At 16 I could legally drive and drove me and my sister to school. I made sure people had what they needed to keep things from falling apart, whether that’s helping with grocery shopping, making dinner, running errands, helping with homework, making lunches… etc. I hardly think someone who drives is a child unable to face consequences like speedings, drinking and driving… etc. On the topic of age I would also like to highlight that the gap is like 5 years, which all things considered is not a very big gap, not to mention one of the reasons young people are considered irresponsible and given a bit of slack is because until the age of 25 your brain is still developing, and as c!Dream was also under the age of 25 that also applies to him and a huge portion of the server.
But being young doesn’t give you a free pass to do whatever you want and then complain about the consequences. You don’t get to just run a red light and kill kids crossing the road and claim innocence because you are a new driver. Because you are young, because you were distracted, because you were just trying to change the song and didn’t see them, because you didn't mean to. You are still responsible for killing people.
And if you don't want to be responsible, if you want to be treated like a child, then stay a child. But as a child you are not considered mature enough to know what is right from wrong, which is where guidance from guardians comes in. Children (really generally speaking), don’t know better, which is why they get grounded, spanked, their mouths washed out with soap, forced to write lines, get things taken away, time out, scolding… etc - punished. They are not free and independent to do what they like. Now obviously, when it comes to the dsmp there are really no such guardians or parents in charge of the minors, but the point still stands, if you do not understand your actions are wrong then someone should teach you and (whether you or not you agree with that) that is often through punishment.
Under that guise, c!Dream taking away c!Tommy’s discs for starting wars and breaking the rules and murdering him, is a form of parenting. (You can argue with whether you consider it good parenting… but that's not really the point). Even further, Exile then could be considered a more extreme form of time out and/or grounding, which is extreme because the violations are extreme. If you steal a cookie you are forced to go to your room for a bit, if you burn down the king’s house then you get exiled from the land. In Exile, he is forced to lose items which could be considered revoking privileges and getting his belongings taken away (like if your parents ever took your phone for a week). Hell, even hitting him with the axe could be seen as a super extreme spanking for not complying with his punishment. Now am I staying that makes it justified? Am I saying those were ok things to happen? Am I saying c!Tommy deserved being treated like that? No. Not really, I am just simply pointing out that in a world where the crime isn’t spray painting a building but burning said building down in an act of terrorism it almost makes sense in a twisted way that the punishments are more severe to fit the infraction.
(I would also like to point out that c!Phil has a moment with c!Tommy where he forced him to smelt stone and then destroy it over and over again and isn’t that kinda what c!Dream was doing in Exile?… just saying, not to say the behavior is right, just something I noticed and thought was interesting.) And the reason why the act of losing items is important is because a huge part of his character arc is surrounded by the value of objects and treating people like he treats objects. It was a big moment of deliberation for him to give up the discs for c!Tubbo’s life. Do you even realize how screwed up that is? A person over an object. But the thing is, somehow in c!Tommy’s mind those two things were synonymous, he was never there for c!Tubbo when c!Tubbo needed someone to have his back. When c!Tubbo goes to get revenge for his missing child and dead husband, he teams up with his literal worst enemies the people who took his canonical lives. Where was c!Tommy?… But whenever c!Tommy needed c!Tubbo to go after c!Dream or support him even with the things c!Tubbo disagreed with, he’s there. Honestly, he’s less of a best friend and more of a sword. The dsmp completes c!Tommy’s character arc by him giving up the discs for c!Tubbo’s life and to for once listen to c!Dream. His character arc, put very very simply, was valuing and treating people as people instead of things.
So the - it’s understandable, it’s less bad than what c!Dream did because he’s young and didn’t know better - is just not reasonable to me. Exile being used as justification isn’t really valid either. Ok so for a week, yea he was abused, he lost his things, people didn’t visit him, sure some were tricked into not visiting him, c!Dream took all of his items over and over, c!Dream hurt him when he did not comply, sure c!Tommy was suicidal as a result. But ya know, when no one else could be bothered to show up, c!Dream came by everyday. Plus abuse on the server is like scuffed so I hardly hold Exile as a gold standard for trauma like y’all I don’t know if I need to make a complication of how many times on the dsmp people hit each other with axes and hurt eachother or force eachother to comply or something. Or if I need to make a list of everytime c!Tommy has done worse even before Exile, but yeeeesh. Like don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Exile was deserved, I don’t think anyone deserves abuse. Period. But on the scale of the dsmp and considering how many people he hurt and the circumstances that got him there, I find it hard to feel for him. And that’s coming from someone who (before medication) used to have panic attacks multiple times a week, who has been bullied, who has been isolated, who has been abandoned and betrayed by my best friends, who has been so so lonely, who has been suicidal, and who was a nasty person as a result of being hurt. So I get it, I really do. But to me it doesn’t really matter much, it doesn’t make him the hero, or redeemed, or innocence, or any more likable, especially when so many other characters on the dsmp have similar instances on their arcs.
And if we want to compare, c!Tommy’s ‘crimes’ to c!Dream’s because he’s ‘just as bad,’ the thing is, I’m not so sure that’s true, for many reasons. One of which is that c!Dream has really only ever reacted. Over and over he gets pushed into reacting, but usually he gives people a way out and he tries to do the better thing at first, but eventually after failing he turns towards the latter. While on the other hand, c!Tommy continues to provoke, over and over and over. Look no further than the finale where he shows up to the prison to assassinate c!Dream, after c!Dream literally hasn’t done anything to him since the prison break (unless you count c!Tommy and c!Wilbur breaking in… which again - provoke). And there really is no such transformation for c!Tommy, he doesn’t start off trying to do the right thing at all, which also brings us to motivation… which continues to baffle me, what is c!Tommy’s motivation? Because if it’s truly to have a home and be happy with his friends then why does he constantly do things that would jeopardize that?
So, you want me to feel bad for and root for someone - who often worked against their own stated motivation, who did drugs, tortured people, started wars, killed, enslaved, destroyed, used, stole, was sexist, xenophobic, disrespectful and constantly talked over people, who didn’t even have his friend’s back more importantly his best friend’s, c!Tubbo’s, back who continued to risk his life for c!Tommy’s schemes - because what? He is a minor? Because he was abused and suicidal after facing the consquences of his own actions? Because we get his pov? Because he declared himself the hero? Because c!Dream personally targeted him for no reason - because he’s so innocent and was no threat to c!Dream… after he literally KILLED HIM multiple times with much less armor, then with no armor at all (in one of the first streams)? …..…. Like heh?
Ah nah you’re so right… c!Dream definitely deserved prison - He killed c!Tommy after all!… in a war, where he was given a chance to surrender or face no mercy… in a fair dual, where he set the terms… in prison, where he provoked c!Dream, killed the cat c!Dream admitted to caring about all after c!Dream had been no doubt going insane from being isolated in prison for months already… I mean… come on, in no way do I see any of those as specifically targeting c!Tommy (don’t even get me started on the finale where he mentions Spirit just to piss c!Dream off).
And ya know, after saying all of that, I would even go as far as to say that c!Tommy is not a hero, nor even an anti-hero, since he is neither selfless, noble or full of goodness, which are some of the more fundamental qualities. In fact, Theseus, who c!Techno calls c!Tommy, is a Greek hero who in the beginning becomes infamous because he slays many savage murderers and monsters on his way to Athens. But I ask you, what savagery has c!Tommy stopped? What noble feats has he done for the sake of the safety of people?… He may be a protagonist, but honestly I don’t think he qualifies as a hero. Sure, both c!Dream and c!Techno’s reference Theseus, but they are really more highlighting the end of his life. Overall, I don’t think hero (even a flawed Greek one) is an adequate description for him. Perhaps anti-villain would be more fitting, a villain with some heroic traits?… I mean his most heroic moments are probably the duel, willing to fight in doomsday with or without help, and willing to be nuked, but like eh… the first two were over a piece of land, a country. It wasn’t about protecting people. I mean in both of those he was part of provoking the conflict in the first place, so is it heroic to help in a conflict that you helped cause? And in the last one, I mean it is the end of his arc so anti-villain technically still works for having a good selfless heroic moment at the end ;) ……
#ummm… welp don’t y’all just love me going off on Tommy XD lol… this was fun… >:) that boy is a menace lol#c!tommy#and the fact that cc!Tommy made a comment when watching the lore with Technodad about him thinking he was a good guy at the time#but now on retrospect him seeing that that wasn’t really the case is 10/10…#dsmp analysis#umm if I didn’t mention a point here it is probably in another post about Tommy like the one I posted recently…#c!dream#c!dream and c!tommy#did someone order an essay?#welp consider it delivered hope you enjoyed it#this is fine#dsmp#dream smp#dreblr#c!discduo#dsmpblr#c!tommyinnit#c!clingyduo#dsmp exile arc#dsmp finale#c!tubbo#ya know if Tommy has problems with treating people as items … that really is getting into anti social personality disorder…#probably a narcissist honestly…. yea that would probably be right… huh….#thanks to everyone who took the time read this <3 <3 <3#did I bash tommy enough?…oooof… call a medic lol XD
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Part three of the poll story; choice C!
C) Yell “Wait! You don't have to run; I won't hurt you!” in an attempt to stop him.
As the little being slides down the table, you lower yourself to your haunches and watch, slightly stunned. He wraps his tail around the pole and uses it to slide to the floor. As he hits the ground and starts running, you worriedly call out after him. “Wait! You don't have to run; I won't hurt you!” He keeps running, but pauses a foot or so from the opposite side of the table, slowly turning to face you. “You… what?” “I won’t hurt you,” you repeat, gentler than before. “But I ate your food,” the little creature says, “I thought you might be mad.”
You shrug. You lost all interest in your snack the moment you saw him. “That’s alright; you probably need it more, considering you have to steal all your food to stay fed. Keep the rest of it if you like.” His eyes go wide as you take the half-eaten pieces from atop the table and cautiously place them on the floor in front of him. “Thank you!” he gasps surprisedly, “I didn’t know there were still humans whose curiosity leads them to kindness rather than fear.” Nodding, you offer your name. “That’s me, I guess — a kind human. And… you?”
The little being gathers up the pieces of food and steps cautiously closer to you, pointed ears slowly perking upward. “My name is Ralyr. I suppose you can call me a kind satyrian.” He offers you his hand. It’s so small compared to your own; he’s barely able to fit the pad of your finger in his palm as he shakes it. Once the greeting ends, you can’t help but press another finger to the tip of your own where he touched it. The scale between the two of you is strangely fascinating. Suddenly, the tiny sound of someone clearing their throat startles you from your thoughts. Ralyr glances at you then glances away, and you realize you’d been staring at him.
“Soo…” you begin, thinking back to what he told you, “saytearian? Is that what you are?” He cringes at your awful pronunciation of the word. “Satyrian. And yes, I am.” Ralyr perks up, glancing intently around the room. “Speaking of which, you wouldn’t happen to have any larger creatures around here, would you?”
Do you:
A) Assure him there isn’t anything around that’s big enough to hurt him.
B) Cautiously mention that while there isn’t anything here, there’s something right next door. “Umm.. my neighbor has a cat…”
C) Jokingly say “I think I would be the biggest creature here.”
D) You’re curious about the type of creature he introduced himself as. “What is a satyrian? Are they all part-mouse part-human like you?”
Again, if anyone’s curious about what I had written for any of the options that weren’t chosen (both the last vote and the one before) send me an ask and I’ll post what would’ve happened!
#part 3 baby!#I’m glad people are enjoying this; I like making all the different alternate endings#g/t#giant/tiny#poll story
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Henry's reaction to finding out GF's house is haunted.
Summary: Henry’s friend invites him over to watch a horror film on Halloween, problem is he is madly in love with her.
Pairings: Henry Cavill x Unamed OFC (3rd person, no description)
Warnings: RPF, fluff, romantic goo, friends to lovers or rather idiots to lovers, brief mentions of alcohol and Henry’s green hoodie p0rn.
Words: 1.6K
A/N: So I had to take it to the “friends to lovers” lane, also I will need all the fluff after what I am about to post tomorrow :|! Divider by @firefly-graphics. Beta’d by my beautiful @agniavateira . Also FYI my house is totally haunted.
Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed.
Haunted Houses
All Hallow's Eve was Henry’s favourite time of the year. The spicy autumn air was thickly shrouded by magic. Spooky tales and plastic spiders inhabited drapes of thin cotton tendrils and fat pumpkins carved with scary faces would sit on his doorstep to welcome him home or bid him farewell on his way out.
Per tradition, he would rally close friends at midnight for a horror flick and pineapple-anchovy pizza; often a bottle of rum would be added to the party. However, this Halloween fell on a bittersweet period, as his friends grew too old for said spooky gatherings. Starting new families of their own, they had no time to indulge him.
All save for her, who just like him was still somehow single.
How bad would it be to spend the evening just the two of them... alone? Ignoring the fact that it was enough to see her name flicker on the screen of his phone for pure warmth to enkindle in his chest. He thought about her often before he fell asleep and when he woke up; and by often, he meant every single day since he met her.
Though she didn’t think much of him as anything other than a friend she loved to banter with - he presumed. And of course she loved Kal, possibly more than she cared for him. Yet, Henry did what he did best: bury his emotions into a little pit he dug in the graveyard of his mind.
"Heh!” Henry croaked as the door opened. His sapphires ensnared the veils of black that cloaked her, preserving the sight of silk laces tied tightly at her torso in what seemed like a gothic medieval gown.
“I see you took off your costume for the evening."
She narrowed her eyes but only to observe his attire carefully: that same green hoodie and a pair of worn jeans that complimented his… asset.
She wanted to etch her fingers around the thick fabric and have a whiff of this hoodie, or perhaps just steal it and wear it forever and a day.
"First of all, it is called The Witching Hour so I must dress properly. Secondly - where is your costume, Cavill?" she crossed her arms together, looking rather displeased.
“I’m dressed as a homicidal maniac, we look like everybody else does.”
Snorting, she tilted her head, unimpressed. “You totally just stole this joke from Wednesday Addams.”
Henry shrugged and pressed his lips to a thin line. One of his foolish expressive gestures. It made her feel less nervous to which she was thankful. When she suggested they’d hang out despite them being the only two, she didn’t think much of the consequences of being all alone with the man who inhabited her mind and never paid rent. Everything about Henry made her feverish, but it was always easy when others accompanied them. The awkward anxiety of having to entertain him wasn’t her job, not up till now…
Oh, god! What if they had nothing to talk about? What if their playful chemistry was always influenced by the presence of other people?
Beads of sweat began to form below her breasts when Henry shoved a bottle of rum into her hand and then leaned in to steal a casual kiss from her cheek. She smiled with a friendly huff in return, stifling the shiver that coursed through her muscles while he welcomed himself into her home.
Striding forward, he peered at the Halloween decorations she hung across the walls and inhaled deeply - the scent of maple and buttery chestnuts filled the cosy little house, a scent that he could easily get intoxicated with.
It was what she smelled like and here he was, drowning in its excess.
After a quick observation, he turned to look at her, holding his hands clasped behind his back. She smiled awkwardly in return and then averted her gaze, becoming fascinated by the bottle he brought.
‘There it is,’ Henry mused, ‘that embarrassing silence, there is so much to tell her, but she probably… no! She definitely finds me boring.’
This Halloween celebration would probably be the last and it was all sorts of disastrous.
Trying to overcome the silence, he cleared his throat and reached a hand to scratch his curly mane. “So what movie are we watching?”
“Movie?” she asked confused and then quickly corrected, “Oh yes, umm... The Exorcist.”
“Good, love me some green vomit.” his eyes followed carefully as she waltzed into the small open kitchen, placing the rum on the counter and then returning with a large bowl that made his nostrils flare.
“Green vomit goes extremely well with caramelised popcorn,” she suggested and popped a golden flake of popcorn into her mouth.
“Sweet-salty popcorn? I love you!” Henry groaned and snatched the bowl right away. It was only when his mouth was stuffed that he realised what words he just used.
But she didn’t seem to react, thankfully. Instead, she brushed a hand over her many skirts and pointed toward the living room.
Hugging the bowl, Henry strode behind her, entering the dimly lit living room. The traditional pizza was already laid on the wooden coffee table, along with a few bottles of Guinness.
Her couch was small, only fit for a couple. And Henry, being a hulking man, took most of the space. Their thighs immediately ground into one another’s, yet they both pretended as if they hadn't noticed the hot tingle running beneath the layers of clothing.
“I have to warn you about something,” she uttered, hoping that the tremor she suddenly felt in her body was not visible to him.
Henry crooked his eyebrow, looking at the ominous glare she offered.
“My house is totally haunted.”
Not waiting for his answer, she grabbed the remote and pressed play. Henry chuckled at her silly joke, waiting for her to break character but she only peered at the screen.
“Nice try, I am not scared of that stuff.” He shifted in his seat slightly, lifting his lengthy arm and spreading it on the headrest right behind her. Immediately, he regretted this semi-possessive masculine gesture, but it was too late to pull it away.
Her instincts screamed to snuggle into him yet she held back. “Don’t believe me, but I am not making this up,” she insisted, “Every night around 3 am, I hear scratching from within the walls and these thuds from the ceiling, and then one night… I woke up the door creaking.”
Henry glanced at her quietly for a long moment, watching the reflection from the screen gyrating over her glossy irises and then snorted. He leaned toward the coffee table and grabbed two beers, uncorking them with the help of his pinky ring and then offering her one of the bottles.
“I think you have rats.”
“Rats who make heavy thuds and open bedroom doors?”
“Yup, a big fat randy rat.” he teased. “We’ll take a look at your bedroom later, but I promise you, there are no such things as ghosts.”
‘We’ll take a look in your bedroom? Great…’ He berated himself. At this point, he just wanted to sigh and shake his head.
She peered at him oddly, her throat clenching a tad before she turned her head back to the movie with a mumble, “It’s not a ghost, it’s a demon.”
Within a few minutes they grew quiet, deciding to focus on the movie with the occasional dry jokes and bad puns from Henry as an attempt to overcome his anxiety. Outside the window, thunder rumbled in the distance and shy raindrops lightly kissed the glass, tinted with the many vague shades of lights coming from the street.
Now and then, Henry shifted in his seat, his meaty thigh further grinding into her leg which stirred her blood to the point of electric spasms. She lightly pushed against him, pretending it’s by accident when truthfully, she wanted to exploit every second of being in his proximity. Had she any guts, she would turn to kiss him, but the thought alone made her heart clench in fear.
She threw him a glance, and their eyes met. Henry offered a kind grin, avoiding staring at her lips. She smiled back coyly, her heartbeat accelerating with anticipation when the possessed girl in the movie made a horrifying groan that ruined the moment.
And then the room suddenly was swallowed in darkness, followed by a strong clap of thunder that tore open the sky.
In the scant moment of chaos, he heard a scream and then the light came back as if nothing happened, aside from the fact that she was now in his arms, with her legs straddling his waist, and her fingers clutching the collar of his hoodie.
Henry was unsure how and when his hand found itself latched to the small of her back, only that he didn’t want to let go. They exchanged bemused glances and swallowed the dryness parching their throats.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely, “I got scared…”
Embarrassed to the point of tears, she attempted to climb off, wanting nothing more than to run to the bathroom and cry in hiding, when Henry sent a hand to stroke her temple and gently brushed his fingers behind her ear.
“Stay,” he insisted, squeezing into her lower back as if to prevent her from escaping.
Her lips parted slowly, the same golden hue that suffused the living room split into her eyes, beaming even brighter as he continued to caress her face before bringing her closer to graze her lips with his.
Halloween was, without a doubt, his favourite.
Tagging: @the-soot-sprite @henrythickcavill because they asked to be tagged in these. <3
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erwin smith x reader bakery/library au + non-canon, post-war - part 3
cw: slight angst bc nightmare, fluff other than that / afab!reader
part 1 | part 2 | part 4
as you locked the door behind you, Erwin waited patiently at the sidewalk. as you walked side by side, you felt the need to eliminate the silence in the air.
"how long have you lived here?", you asked intently. you wanted to confirm what you already knew.
"since the war ended.", he stated. just like everyone else here, you thought. "i was a commander in the survey corps.", he went on.
this did not take you by surprise. the tall, blond man, though quiet in his interactions, looked as though he had the ability to command not only the attention of a room but an entire city if he pleased. "ah, i see. I'm sorry.", you spoke quietly. you weren't sure what to say.
"thanks."
"you probably got to see some beautiful land outside the walls before many other people did.", you replied, in an attempt to lighten the mood. "i couldn't believe all of the foliage around when i came here. i had never seen bright colors of flowers like here before, inside the walls."
"indeed, i did.", Erwin hummed. "i never gave it much thought until people started telling me things of similar sentiment. do you have a garden?"
"oh, no. i live in a loft above the newspaper printer's office.", you shrugged. "maybe one day. i'd like to supply some of my own produce for the bakery. i do have some heirloom tomatoes planted on my windowsill, though." you pointed up ahead. "there is my stop."
"i’m better with animals than plants.", he said. "i have a horse in the stables across town." he didn't want to leave you, but you had just met. it would be rude to invite myself in, he thought. how can i see her again, and soon? "do you have plans tomorrow? would you like to join me in a walk to the stables, then we could have lunch?" was that too much?
"oh, umm... sure! that works. just come up to my door, whenever you're ready." you brushed your hair behind your ears in a nervous attempt to keep your hands busy.
he smiled and nodded. "i'll see you tomorrow, Miss Y/N."
"be safe on your way, Erwin. see you tomorrow."
-
a knock on your door, just as you spread jam onto your bagel. you didn't think he would be here this early. you quickly pulled out another plate with a bagel before running to the door.
"good morning!", you exclaimed as you gestured for Erwin to come in. "i have a bagel for you, if you'd like."
"did you make it?", he pried as he followed you down the small hallway into the kitchen nook. he felt like a giant in your small living quarters.
"i did.", you laughed, looking back at him over your shoulder. "i even made the jam."
"oh! then I must. What a wonderful morning.", he jested.
your black kitty crept around the corner of the living room where he could catch a glimpse of your guest. "you have a friend?", Erwin asked.
"oh! Pepper, yes. he's a fine companion. i couldn't stand to live alone." you didn't think about what you said.
"it's not so bad...", Erwin trailed. "he is pretty, though. it does tempt me. my horse doesn't fit in my apartment, unfortunately."
you smirked at his little joke. "i've never ridden a horse before. i'm not sure I've ever even touched one."
"well, we shall change that soon enough.", he said, followed by the last bite of your offering.
you kept closer to Erwin's side today than you did on your walk home yesterday. it was about a half hour leisurely walk to the stables. he made small talk about the library, apologizing more than once about how he came into the bakery so often but never introduced himself. you could tell he was a lonely man who needed someone to be around rather than just a character in his everyday life. he needed a relationship with a solid foundation, something he could come back to, whether it be platonic or romantic. it seemed as if he had no one.
until, he mentioned someone as you neared the stable. "My friend, from the survey corps, has a horse here as well. i spoke to him early this morning. if you want to learn to ride, he doesn't mind if you ride his horse."
"you must have spoke very highly of me to this friend.", you teased.
for the first time, Erwin laughed heartily. it was a deep, loud laugh. heartwarming, in fact. "you know, maybe i did. he knows of you. he has come to your shop before. short, dark headed. big scar on his face?" you noticed Erwin's speech become less formal and more causal the longer you talked.
"oh! i know him. he likes my scones.", you realized, remembering the somber man coming into your store a few times. "short? he's taller than me!"
"Y/N, he may be taller than you, but imagine a man his size fighting in the war. i don't know if any other scouts that were of his stature." Erwin shook his head at the memory as he pushed the door of the stable open and allowed you to walk through in front of him.
the manure smell was borderline overwhelming. Erwin chuckled as the sudden neighing of a horse caused you to jump a little. "the white one is mine. the black one next door is yours for the day. mine is named Sugar. Levi's horse is named Ember." you thought it was cute that Erwin's horse was named Sugar. "here," he said as he handed you a bristle brush. "brush him to get him used to you.", he instructed, gesturing to Ember.
the horse snorted and shook its mane as you brushed its coat. You were amazed at the way it's skin rippled at your touch. "hello, Ember.", you spoke softly to the gentle giant. "i am no horse expert, but i suspect you and your friend are well taken care of."
"i come every day either before or after i leave the library. but Levi, he spends a lot of time with Ember. he probably takes care of most of these horses here more than their owners do."
"whose horses are these?", you asked.
"mostly people who had military affiliation, or something similar, like myself.", Erwin answered.
you watched intently as Erwin saddled Sugar, and then Ember. he pulled a step stool over from the outside of the stable door to help you get on the horse. "let's see here... step up here, hold onto me as you get on. i'll help you up." You weren't sure if you should feel uncomfortable or not touching his armless shoulder for support, but he didn't seem to mind so you didn't give it much thought. his hand on your back kept you steady as you swung your leg over the horse.
beside you, Erwin mounted his horse with ease. "just gently hold the reigns. Ember will know the follow me."
Erwin and Sugar guided you out in to a small pasture behind the stables, edging on the border of town. "what's say an hour or so of some light riding, then we can put them up? nothing too wild for your first time." you nodded in agreement. Sugar and Ember enjoyed munching on grass and hay, trotting lightly beside one another as Erwin guided them around the pasture. he told you about how Ember's owner, Levi, had worked with Erwin in the survey corps and now lived across the hall from him. however, they didn't hang out, per say. Erwin said there wasn't anything nice for them to talk about, but sometimes they enjoyed each other's company. "Unlike most people, he doesn't seem to want or care for having a friend.", Erwin spoke of Levi. "It worries me to some extent."
you hummed in response. "i think everyone needs a friend. i guess you are his friend, but he doesn't utilize you as he should, because what's the use in venting to someone who was there for all the bad stuff?"
"i suppose that may be the case. anyhow, i can't force anything upon him. i hope one day he comes out of his shell. maybe one day you'll have your own horse and he can come with us.", Erwin winked.
"you wouldn't let me ride with you and Sugar?", you asked teasingly.
Erwin scoffed. "that is for Sugar to decide." the snow white horse snorted, earning a giggle from both you and Erwin.
-
Erwin lead you into a familiar, quaint bistro style restaurant for lunch. you had met the owner a few times, as you had met most of the other food establishment owners through a social held at the market when the town was still new and blossoming. everyone had discussed how owning a restaurant or shop would be difficult in the first year or so of living in Harmon, as the economy had to build itself up. it was in fact rough, but you all had managed to survive the first stride as everyone found a place for themselves in this new society. the owner was a peculiar woman, with an upbeat and loud personality. you knew she ran a tight ship at her restaurant. she had high expectations of her cooks and servers.
Erwin waved at the woman as she spotted him from across the room. she excitedly came over to the table you had been seated at.
"Erwin!", she exclaimed. "and Y/N! Y/N, it's been so long since i last saw you. we need to organize another get together soon!" then she looked at Erwin. "how do you know each other?" it sounded like more of a demand than a question.
Erwin cleared his throat to speak, but you spoke before he could. "he's my most loyal customer." you smiled cheekily at Hange as she raised her eyebrows.
"oh my! well, of course! the man has always had a sweet tooth, for as long as I can remember!" she threw her hands up. "any time we came back from a mission, he always wanted to have a treat before he could have some rest. do you know how many pans of sweet bread I have made for him?"
"yes, Hange, quite a few. but, they didn't compete with anything at Honey Bear's.", Erwin raised his brows at her. "stick to the savories."
"that's why I am the best sandwich shop in Harmon." she crossed her arms. "bring basket of muffins over next week and your meals are on the house."
"you got it. If you have time, we can discuss getting together with some of the other owners soon." as Hange left your table after taking your orders, you looked to Erwin for some explanation.
"she was a captain under me in survey corps, and i named her as my successor when i lost my arm. despite her quirkiness, she is quite intelligent. Hange actually performed many of the experiments and studies that led to what we know about titans today."
"oh, wow. i had no idea. i met her just after i opened Honey Bear's. she was actually the one who invited me to the owner's guild. when the market first started running, she and i would host a table together, until i decided to stop working on mondays."
-
before meeting you, Erwin came and went as he pleased. he didn't have any set schedule or routine to follow. the more time he spent around you, he wanted to arrange his day-to-day life to maximize the time he had to spend with you. he started coming to the bakery in the morning, as you opened. you gave him whatever you had made first, telling him that now he was your "sampler." some mornings, he came into the kitchen and watched as you and your employees mixed up the first batches of the day. on one particular morning, Madeline tried to teach both of you how to pour the perfect crepe into the pan. you couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy as Erwin was instantly better at it than yourself. other days, he sat in the dining room with a book. Erwin worked at the library as you ran the bakery, and at the end of your work day, he pulled your chalkboard inside for you and watched as you wrote out tomorrow's menu before the two of you went to the stables to check on Sugar. Levi typically took Sugar and Ember out to graze earlier in the day while Erwin was at work, so every other day, you and Erwin would take Sugar out for a ride. every evening, he fell asleep thinking about the feeling of your arms around his waist, your head resting on his back as you discussed your day with one another.
Erwin knew he was in love when, after about 2 months of this routine, he awoke in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, his chest heaving. it wasn't uncommon for Erwin to suffer from nightmares inspired by the events of the war. images of titans grabbing ahold of him, teasingly licking at his flesh before devouring him, the scenes of the limbs of his soldiers everywhere he turned.
but this one was different. he walked into the bakery, but no one was there. he called your name. the door was unlocked, so you must be here, somewhere. he walked behind the counter and into the kitchen, to find a 3 meter titan crouched over your already lifeless body, slowing consuming you. it wasn't like the other dreams where Erwin couldn't defeat the titans. he quickly slashed the nape of its neck, but it didn't matter. you were gone. he was too late. he watched as your blood continued to puddle underneath his shoes, steam bathing his skin.
it was all he could think about. he couldn't go back to sleep. he knew you were fine. after all, it was just a dream. he wanted to go to your apartment right then, in the middle of the night, to see for himself. to see that you were peacefully asleep in your bed with Pepper curled at your feet.
later that morning, when Erwin met you at the bakery, you could tell he was tired. you sat with him as he ate one of the giant chocolate muffins you had made. "you look sleepy."
"i didn't sleep well last night."
"is something on your mind?", you asked.
"there's a reunion of sorts coming up, for former members of the scout regimen. it's going to be at the banquet hall next month. former scouts living on other islands have been invited as well, so i suspect it is going to be a big deal and i should make an appearance. i'd like for you to go with me." you looked up at Erwin, your mouth slightly open in surprise. "will you? i'll take you to buy a gown next week."
you shook your head. "yes, i'll go. but there's no need for you to buy a dress for me. i'm sure i have something to wear..."
"but I want to.", he smiled softly.
"okay, then... i guess it's a date."
Erwin smiled, showing you his perfect teeth. "thank you. we can go to the boutiques next monday when you're off. i'm going to have my suit tailored to be a little more one-armed man friendly."
you giggled at him. "that's what you were losing sleep over?"
#attack on titan fic#erwin smith x reader#erwin smith#aot erwin#aot fic#aot fanfic#aot series#attack on titan fanfic
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genshin month ; fifth day.
synopsis: You never gave your lovely boyfriend any reason to be jealous or angry with you. However, this cold evening the other men gave him no other choice, and he had to show to who you belong to.
# tags: scenario; current relationship; romance; mild drama; perverts; rather sfw
includes: female reader ft. bennett {genshin impact}
author’s note: bennett best boy, send post.
On this chilly, late evening, you decided to wear high woolen socks, which you received as a surprise gift some time ago from your dear friend, Amber. They were the most ordinary black thigh high socks in the world but those little red hearts on the sides of the fabric totally moved you. The most important thing about them, however, was that they were extremely comfortable, warm and really enjoyable to the touch, which is why they were perfect for this cool night and a date with Bennett who wanted to take you to the lantern festival organized in Liyue.
Personally, you were extremely excited because you had never attended an event like this before (plus, you didn’t even know it existed something like that!). But Bennett had assured you in one small talk a few days earlier that it would be something indescribably amazing and better than you then thought. And yeah, it was just as your lover said.
You two were walking in the middle of the lit sidewalk at this point, holding hands and every now and then stopping next to a food stand to buy some delicious snacks. You could even swear that you’ve never eaten such delicious, very crunchy fried radish balls and grilled tiger fish. Not to mention about juicy fruit or aromatic tea, which you have never drunk before, and yet reminded you of the warmth of your family home and wonderful moments with your dearest ones.
“We should slowly go find a good place to enjoy the lantern show.” At one point in your little city tour, Bennett decided to squeeze your delicate hand tighter, which made you swallow the last bite in your mouth and nodded, looking around you in the process. “Something happened?”
“Umm... Bathroom...” You started quietly, but after a while you pointed your index finger at the tiny bar from which you could hear calm music and feel the scent of various alcohol. “Will you wait for me? I’ll be here in literally three minutes.” You asked quietly, and the fair-haired boy agreed, but decided to escort you to the entrance of the wooden building.
While you were in the bathroom, Bennett looked around the eatery; it was small but had really sweet vibe. There was an amazing smell of wine and... cheese and sausages in it? They were probably appetizers for other high-percentage drinks that the young man didn’t think about anymore. Instead, he turned to face the bathroom again, and as soon as you closed the heavy wood, you moved at a brisk pace towards your lover. Unfortunately, you didn’t even walk four steps and your arm was caught. So you looked to the side and slightly upwards, meeting the gaze of a a bit older man and his two adult male friends. You raised an eyebrow, laughing awkwardly.
“Did something happen? I’m not a waitress, sir.” You started hesitantly, but the man just chuckled, still holding your limb.
“I was wondering if you would like to join us? We don’t see such beautiful girls here often.”
“I... I’m sorry, but I’m here with someone and we’re currently going to a lantern party, s-so...” You took your shoulder away as quickly as possible and took a step back, feeling that you hit something hard and hot. For a brief second you thought it was another stranger, but luckily it was your cute boyfriend who now seemed to be angry.
“Others haven’t taught you all not to touch women that way? You’re in a public bar and there are some rules and the requirements that say how to have good manners and respect for other customers.” He grabbed your smooth hand, pulling your body much closer to his. You immediately snuggled up against him, looking away from the three old men. “Once again I’ll see you touching my girlfriend or any woman and I’ll cut off your hands and fry them over a fire in the woods.”
Though your boyfriend was usually a really cheerful teenager and the soft boyish smile on his face hardly ever disappeared, right now, out of the corner of your eye, you could see how dark his gaze was and how low his voice sounded. You knew how this could end, so you pulled the boy by his leather, brown trouser belt and then whispered in his ear that you two should go because you would miss the best spots.
Before you left the three surprised (and even terrified) men, the blonde kissed you in front of them, stroking your soft, left cheek. It was unexpected, but you definitely didn’t mind this side of your second half. Additionally, as soon as you left the tavern and headed towards the perfect place to watch the lantern parade, Bennett’s hand slid from your waist to your hip, which he immediately squeezed lightly. So you looked at him with a precious smile, thanking him for the rescue. But the young boy only shook his head in respond.
“Well, on the one hand I’m not surprised by it, because you are really beautiful and you look perfect today, but on the other hand... Anyway, I’m glad that I have so much luck in life that despite all the other, better people around us, you still chose me that day two years ago.” He already admitted in his typical, honey-sweet voice, and you immediately stopped on the road, grabbing both his pale hands in your slightly cooler ones.
“Ben, you are the best of all and I love you more than you can imagine. And I’m glad to have you. Thanks once again for that... Now let’s go! We can’t let anything spoil our evening! This is our date after all!” You raised both hands giving the boy a thumbs up, and the green-eyed nodded, leaning forward to give you a short, but extremely sweet kiss right in the middle of your forehead.
“... Yes, let’s go, baby.”
previous day ; keqing ♡ next day ; kaeya
#— ⛩️#genshin impact month#genshin impact challenge#genshin impact#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x y/n#genshin impact bennett#bennett#bennett imagines#bennett scenarios#bennett x reader#bennett x you#bennett x y/n
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Their Aching Firsts.
I still have no excuse for my obsession with them. Not sure how I feel about this particular story, but I wanted to post something for the start of Rivusa week for the hell of it. It’s about 7k words (I apparently can’t stop writing them once I start and their works end up being endless). Oops.
Fair warning, there is a umm *spicy* scene near the end there. I don’t usually write those and I tried to keep it as vague as I could, but I thought I’d mention it anyways. Other than that, enjoy and let me know what you think!
The first times they kissed, it was fueled by anger- he grabbed, she pulled, they crashed.
The first time they talked about it, it wasn't so much a conversation of words as it was one of looks. His eyes said "I want you and it terrifies me." Her eyes said "I think I want you, too. And I think I'm finally ready to admit that."
The first time Musa realized her new favorite jacket was once his, she stares at herself in the mirror for over an hour. She misses lunch with the gang and Riven comes knocking at her door and opens it to find her standing in front of that mirror in a state of awe. She's bathed in black leather, sleeves reaching the tips of her fingertips.
"You ok?" Arms wrap around her waist as she toys with the hem of the jacket. She looks at him through the mirror and smiles.
"I just want you to know I'm never giving this back."
He huffs a laugh as he lets his head fall to her hair, breathing her in. Lavender and something sweet that he's never been able to pinpoint. "Not even if this falls apart?"
She whirls around to face him. "I don't intend on letting that happen." Her hands are on the collar of his shirt, eyes blazing with stubbornness. He knows then that her words are a promise, a commitment and not just a comment in passing.
"I don't know, Muse. You still have time to regret all this. Regret the ruin of your reputation. What will people say?" His words are teasing, but she can see right through them. She senses his vulnerability, his apprehension.
"There are a lot of things I regret in life- yelling at my mother when I was fourteen because I didn't want to clean my room, being a bit of a bitch to my suitemates at the start of the year, hiding instead of fighting because I was too scared to see what my powers could really do. The regrets are endless. But, you, Riven, are not one of them."
He frowns, blinks away the swarm of feelings within him. "Yeah?"
She bunches her hands on his collar and pulls him down to her mouth. "Yeah."
"And what if I'm the one to end this?"
"And do what? Date some other girl for the hell of it?"
"Maybe, " he grins. "I hear I'm hot on the market now that I'm on the good side." She pulls him all the way down then, kisses him hard.
"Give it a try. Whoever she is, she won't last more than a day. And she'll defiantly never have you. Not really. I have you right where I want you, Riven. You're mine and you know it." She blazes a fire in him with her words.
"Oh yeah? And how would you know that?"
"You're here, aren't you?" She's all sass as she cocks an eyebrow at his question. "And, plus, it's kinda hard to lie to an empath."
And then she's kissing him again. This time with so much passion that he can't make sense of the world around him any longer. She pulls away only to tell him, "And I bet she'll never get that reaction out of you."
"No. No, she won't."
________________________________________________________________
The first time he calls her his girlfriend, it's not exactly in the situation she had imagined.
"Girls, I need to tell you something." Musa's voice wavers slightly as it rises above the noise that is their friends' laughs and chatter.
They're on the roof of Alfea, clustered among one another on the edges of old, shabby stones. The sky above them is dark and heavy. Stars wink at students from behind perfect clouds, ones that Musa remembers seeing in old cartoon movies that she used to watch with her parents when she was younger. From up here, the rest of Alfea seems like their whole world, its students miniature figures in a dollhouse. It's a perfect night, just as it should be. Rosalind is gone, out of the school and although that's not good enough, it's something. And Headmistress Dowling is alive and back in charge of the magical boarding school, where she belongs. From her perch up here, she can make out the headmistress' perfectly done hair as she leans back and laughs at something Silva is saying. She sees Professor Harvey heading towards their table, scolding students along the way to back away from the school's boarders. She's surprised that they haven't tried to stop all the drinking that going on. It seems that even the professors have had enough of the fighting, so much so that they're no longer focusing on the minute details of teenage life. Plus, she suspects that when they called for a party to celebrate the revival of Dowling and their taking back the school, they had fully expected the drinking. In fact, Musa had even seen Silva sneaking a few drinks to the teacher's table, but she'd never tell him that.
She can still hear Terra's squeal when Dowling had announced the party. And she can feel the toll of the heels Stella had insisted she wear on her feet. It has brought everyone so much joy, this little piece of heaven that they're being allowed, and she's been so very glad to just bask in it. After months of walking around with her headphones constantly on, trying desperately and failing to block the thoughts of despair, gloom, and pain, she welcomed the change. It had taken a lot out of her, but she had even worked up the nerve to leave her headphones behind for the party. The girls had been surprised at first, but then Bloom had stepped forward, wound their arms together, and led her outside the suite. She's been getting weird looks from them all night, little side glances with small smiles and questioning eyes, asking her if she was okay or if she needed to head out for a bit, take a breather. She'd returned them all with reassuring smiles of her own, letting them know that she was fine. And she was fine, but probably not for the reason they thought. Yes, the students around her were happy and she didn’t have much negativity to deal with from them right now, and yes her powers were getting better. But the reason she was doing so well had to do nothing with the students around them or her ability to control her magic and everything to do with the specialist across from her.
Riven and her had been a bit of a dichotomy since the start of her second semester at Alfea. They were paired together for combat classes from the very beginning of Rosalind's reign at Alfea. He'd flirted, as he did with everything that had a pulse and walked his way, and she had shut it down. Odd how that had only encouraged his behavior. Odder how she'd eventually come to appreciate it.
It was a slow transition, their thing. She had been resistant to accept she liked someone so very opposite to her last boyfriend, hesitant to give herself to that natural disaster that seemed to be Riven. Honestly, it seemed like a loss for a long time. She'd lay in bed some nights, staring at her ceiling, listening to Terra's slow breaths as she slept, and just think about the fact that just a few months ago (God, it boggled her mind that it was only a few months ago… where did time go? And how did they get here, in a school run by a once presumed dead war leader and a woman that seemed to exude death from her presence alone?) she had been perfectly happy with Sam and the silence that he brought. Sure, they had eventually called it quits once she had realized she couldn't live in silence forever and he realized she needed to learn to shield herself from harm. It had been tough, but they were friends. And she had been okay being single again. Truly, she had. So how she'd come to crave noise- his noise, loud and obnoxious emotions that sent her body tingling and her mind reeling- she doesn't know. But it had happened and once she's finally just accepted it, the ball was in his court. Too bad for her though, because just as hesitant as she was, Riven was ten times more resistant to the pull that existed between the two of them. Musa remembers all the nights they'd sneak out and he'd teach her new moves with a staff and sometimes he'd let her use his swords, teasing her as she struggled under their weight. She'd head back to her suite before the sun came up, always frustrated because couldn't he see?! Couldn't he tell? Why else would she show up every single night without fail? Why else would she stick around when the training turned to teasing and taunting turned to conversations in hushed tones? Long story short, it took him being under mind control and her breaking it for him to just finally, finally kiss her. And from then on, it had been secret meetings in different corners of the school, in their rooms when no one else was around, and anywhere else they could find some privacy.
She's itching to cross the space that separates them currently and slip her arms under his jacket, an action that she'd first done on instinct but which had quickly become a habit once she had realized the effect it had on him. She's been eyeing him the whole night, fully aware of his gaze on her. There's a reason she hadn't argued with Stella when she'd been handed the lavender slip of a dress that she currently wore. She'd even managed to forgive the light fairy for the strappy silver heels she had practically forced into Musa's feet when she caught Riven staring up and down her bare legs.
"Musa? What is it? Are you ok?"
Bloom's worried tone pulls her back to reality and she forces herself to face away from Riven and toward the girls. She'd avoided this conversation for so long, but it had to come out at some point tonight and it had to happened before one of the girls found them in some shady corner with their clothes half off.
"Oh, no I'm fine! It's not that." Now, how to approach what it actually was?
Aisha's confused tone follows her reply, "Well, then, what is it?"
"Um, it's kind of a little complicated…" Musa's voice trails off and she has to physically stop herself from turning back to Riven to see if he's ok with this, with what she's about to say.
"Musa you're freaking me out a little here," Stella's eyes narrow at Musa's fidgeting her hands. Huh, she hadn't even noticed herself playing with the hem of her dress.
"Oh no! Did you actually kill that poor guy that tried to hit on you?" Terra sounds worried as Musa just groans at her words.
"Ughhh. Terra, we said we wouldn't talk about that."
"What guy?" Riven's question comes at the same moment as her whine, except his is louder and much more aggressive. All heads turn to him, and Musa curses the jealousy that she feels coursing through his veins right now. Damn it, couldn't he just keep it in long enough so she could explain to her suitemates what the hell was going on between them? His eyes are all rage and warning as he stares Terra down. And for some reason, she's all worked up at his gaze and doesn't know what to do with herself. She really shouldn't be so attracted to this side of him.
"What's it matter to you?" Aisha questions, eyebrow raising in his direction.
"It just does."
"Really, Riven? The middle school comeback? Classic."
"Stay out of it, Aisha. I wasn't talking to you."
They're bickering back and forth, and Musa can sense both their patience straining. This is not how she was hoping this would go. Finally, she steps between them, one hand on Aisha's shoulder and the other on Riven's chest. "Ok, that's enough."
Aisha glares his way one more time but steps back, Riven does not. Instead, he turns to Musa and asks her, "What guy, Musa?"
"It doesn't matter, Riven."
"It does to me."
"Well, it shouldn't. It was just some drunk dude with a bad haircut. That's it." She's trying to reassure him, to let him know that this thing they have going on isn't just something she's going to drop the first chance she gets for any guy that makes eyes her way. She knows that's one of his big insecurities. He has it in his head that he's not good enough to deserve this, something that isn't completely fucked up from the very beginning.
They're trading glances, a secret conversation of their own happening between them.
"No!"
All heads snap toward Bloom. The second she turns around, Musa knows that her redheaded roommate has figured it out. Bloom is grinning at the two of them, practically bouncing on her heels as she grabs onto Sky's arm and tugs on it. "Did you know about this?! Why didn't you tell me?!"
Sky (bless his soul) looks at his girlfriend with confusion evident in his face, "Know what?"
Except it's Stella that answers, "They're dating."
And then mayhem ensues and Musa suddenly wishes she had thought this through because she's feeling so much from so many people right now and she's not quite sure how to handle it. She tries to hide the wince that forms on her face as she tries to answer all the questions her friends are practically screaming her way, but Riven must have noticed it because he reaches for her hand and pulls her out of the circle the girls have formed around her and closer to him.
"Alight, that's enough." It's the rasp in his voice that sends her spiraling every time he speaks, and she's putty in his hands. It's pathetic, she should have more self-control than this. "Yes, we're dating. Yes, she's my girlfriend. And, Aisha, no I did not pay her or threaten her into it. Gods above!" He takes a sweep of the room, gesturing to all their friends with a hand as if to say 'you're all very welcome.'
"Any other questions?" No one speaks up. Not that Musa would have heard any of them because good gods, did she hear him right? Did he just say what she thinks he said? Is she his… girlfriend? They'd avoided so many labels for so long that it had completely slipped her mind to actually name this thing between then by the time that they had finally become something substantial. And she's been fine with that deal, with not having to name their relationship, but hearing him call her his girlfriend has send her body trembling, fire coursing through her veins and butterflies bursting in her stomach.
And then he's pulling her away, down the stairs that led them up to the roof and between hallways that blend into one another as her mind focuses on the way his hand grips hers and the lust (his? hers?) that seems to be engulfing her whole being.
She lets him lead her into his room, onto his bed, and just as he leans down to kiss her, she moves down and places a kiss on his neck instead. Looking up at him, she tests out the word that's taken over her brain since it left his lips, "Girlfriend?"
"Fuck. Is that not what this is? I, I don't know- I kind of figured- I don't know. Shit, sorry-" If she wasn't so very in love with the idea of being his girlfriend, his something (just his), she would have let his ramble continue. She didn't get to see this often, a flustered Riven, and it was a sight she found quite adorable. But, alas, she had other plans for tonight.
She bends her neck upward, uses her toes to push herself up the bed, and kisses him ever so lightly on the lips. Just enough so that he stops talking. A feather's whisper of a kiss, against which she purrs "That is exactly what this is if that's what you want it to be."
His eyes are black with want when he closes them and his hand comes up to trace the edges of her jaw. His breathing speeds up as he leans his forehead against hers, and that's how she knows he's trying to collect his thoughts, watching his words as he often does when he's scared he's about to make the wrong move, say the wrong thing. She swears she's going to get him to stop doing that around her, because she wants his thoughts, every single one of them, as raw as they are. She doesn't want the filtered version. And she can feel them, mingling into the background as his insecurity takes over. Her hands find their way to his jaw and now they're holding each other, "Tell me."
He opens his eyes, opens his mouth to tell her, just as she knew he would. He'd never deny her anything and she's learned that in the short time that they've been together. He'd collect the stars and fashion them into a necklace she could wear around her neck if she asked for the universe. He'd start and end a war if she so much as suggested it. He'd give her his soul, she thinks. All she needs to do is ask, and he breaks for her. Crack by crack. Splinter by splinter. Until he's cleaved wide open and she sees all of him.
"I do, want that. I want you." His voice is gruff, guttural. "What about you? What do you want?"
God, how does he still not get it?!
"You." A whisper, and then a kiss.
_______________________________________________________________
The first time he makes her cry, it's not because of something he said. It's because of something he did.
It had started like any other day- breakfast, classes, social gatherings at the end of the afternoon. Musa and Terra had just left botany lessons and were heading towards the specialists training grounds to meet up with Sky and Riven before they all went to grab dinner together. It had been all fun and games, Terra and her grumbling about how ravished they were and laughing along at each other's comments. But Musa had sensed the uneasiness that radiated from the training grounds the second they had rounded the corner of Alfea's large lawns. Silva was especially on edge, and the fact that he had all the upperclassmen and the best of the specialists lined up as he walked back and forth between them shouting orders could not be a good sign. And with an insane mastermind on the loose, Musa had feared the worst as anyone else would. She'd taken off running, and Terra had followed without any questions, trusting her instincts.
She only caught glimpses of Silva's orders. "… Five burned ones… Two upperclassmen faries out there already… We need to leave now- I'm going to need ten of you out ASAP. Five more will guard the school grounds… Any volunteers?"
Her heart stopped when in her peripheral vision, she saw Sky and Riven's hands go up. This would be the third one this month that they had volunteered for, and the last time they left the school grounds Riven came back with a broken foot that he's still limping along on. The word left her mouth before she could think about it, "No!"
He turned to her, surprised to find her standing among the specialists. "Musa?"
She can't be bothered to greet him, not right now, not when he's practically signing up for his own death. So, instead, she stares him straight in the eye and says it again. "No."
But Riven is as stubborn as she is, and she knows he's been itching to prove himself again, to make up for what he did under the control of Rosalind just a short while ago. His words crush her soul, "I volunteer for the outside team." He's talking to Silva, who's eyeing the two of them with an intrigued look on his face. He nods curtly at Riven's words. But Riven is looking at her, his jaw set and tilted upward with determination.
"Alright, Sky and Riven, you'll lead the charge. Get your weapons. We leave in five minute. Go!" And then he and Sky are running toward their weapons bags, Musa and Terra hot on their tracks.
She catches up to him just as he's strapping on his swords. Her hand comes to pull at his wrist, motioning for him to face her.
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" He won't look at her, won't meet her eyes. "Riven, I'm talking to you! You can't just volunteer yourself up for everything that could kill you! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Whatever you're trying to prove, stop it!"
He's reaching for his fighting boots, switching into them. Whether he's just not listening or if he just doesn't care, she can't tell. She wants to kill him. She wants to kiss him.
"Please," she can't believe she's begging. "Please, Riven. Your foot. You can't-"
"I'm doing it, Musa." She sees fury, internalizes it before her insides form it into something tangible and she can see it, feel it. It's red and blinding and raging.
"I'm asking you not to." He won't say no to her, he hasn't done it yet. She asks and he cracks for her right? Right?
Wrong.
"LET'S GO, SQUADRON 1!" She barely registers what Silva's command means until Riven is standing up.
"I'm sorry, Musa." And she knows he means it, because when his hands fall to her shoulders, quick and rushed, they're firm. He leans down to kiss her goodbye or as a form of apologizing, she's not sure, but she turns her head away from him and he ends up kissing the space between her cheek and jawline. If he won't look at her, then she won't look at him. And if he won't listen to her, then she won't give him the satisfaction of her approval. It's petty, she know that. She senses his emotions deflate at her actions, the feeling of rejection cutting into his heart like a shard of glass ripping through flesh. But she's seen this movie before, she knows how this story ends. Too many specialists have left the school's walls wounded and eager to pick a fight, only to come back on the brink of death or even worse, they haven't come back at all. And the idea of him becoming one of those statistics hurts more for her than her rejection will ever hurt him.
She doesn't turn to watch him leave, but she hears his boots beating against the pavement as he rushes to catch up with Sky… and then silence.
She's so numb by now. Numb to death, to feeling, to crying. She doesn't cry. Not when Terra comes to hug her from behind. Not when they're back in the suite and Bloom is practically sizzling with anger at the fact that they didn't think to bring her along on the mission and that Sky is being sent on yet another mission. Not when it's midnight and Dowling informs that the specialists made it back safely.
She doesn't go down to greet them when the other girls rush out the door. Terra lingers in the doorway.
"You sure you don’t want to come?"
"I'm good." She's staring outside the huge window of their living room, refusing to look down at the ground and try to make out if someone is missing in the mass of specialists standing in the courtyard.
"Musa-" She feels pity and worry coming from Terra, and she doesn't want to deal with it right now. She just wants to be numb for a little while longer.
"I said, I'm good."
Once Terra is gone, she turns away from the window and goes to sit by one of the couches. She counts the floorboards by the main doorway of the Winx suite. One, two, three, four, five, six…
She counts them three times over before the door finally barges open, it's hinges creaking from the immense force of the push just enacted upon it.
Riven's eyes frantically search the room before they finally fall on her. He walks towards her, limps actually. (She knew his foot wasn't healed, no matter how much he insisted it was.) He has blood splattered on his right side. His or someone else's, who knows? And when he finally reaches her, and falls to his knees in front of her so that they're eye level with one another, she finally cries.
He reaches for her. She pushed him off. "Fuck you, Riven. Really, fuck you."
"I'm sorry. Muse, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I-"
"Why don't you ever listen? You keep walking into wars as if they're welcoming parties. Do you want to die?! Do you have a death wish? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She's being mean, unfair. She doesn't care. If asking won't work, maybe screaming will. And she's exhausted. Exhausted of worrying about him every time he leaves. Exhausted of wishing he would listen. Exhausted of fearing he's the one that didn't make it back, because it's almost been him so many times by now.
"I had to Musa." His voice is soft, odd in comparison to the loud tone he usually takes when they argue about this topic.
"You always have to! You don't have to prove anything Riven. And you most certainly don’t have to die for no fucking reason!"
"You don't get it-"
"So explain it to me!" He sighs deeply, and closes his eyes. "No, Riven. Explain it. What don't I get?"
He finally opens his eyes, throws a string of colorful swears at the ceiling before moving his gaze back to her. "It's not just proving something. It's that if I go and… if I go, then one less specialist has to go. And that's one less person with people that care about them having to go. And that's one less tragic death, and then a whole lot less people hurt. If I go… who cares, you know? And, honestly, shouldn't it be me? A taste of my own medicine and all that. After all the shit I helped Rosalind do." She senses his bitterness, feels his anger and destitute.
He's an idiot.
"You're an idiot, you know that?"
"And you're beautiful," he quips back. She watches that smirk that she's come to love make its way onto his face.
"Flattery won't get you very far in life, Riv." Except, maybe it will. Because somehow and for some reason she's here, and she's crying over him.
It's like he can read her mind, not the other way around, "I think it's gotten me pretty far as of right now. I mean, you're here." The look he gives her has her twitching in her seat and she has to remind herself that she still has more to say to him. She can't just let him off the hook that easily. He leans up to kiss her, and she places her hands on his chest, gently pushing him away.
"I care."
"What?" He's confused by her words.
"I care. If you go, and something happens. I care." She feels the surprise bloom from within him, and then a sense of overwhelming tenderness takes up his mind, and hers along with it. Her hands reach for him, " Come here."
This time, he obeys her. And as she kisses him, he cracks for her. Splinters for her. Lets her see him while he kisses her as if he's kissing her for the first time ever, ravaged and hungry for her. She sees it all- all of him falling into her and consequentially falling into place in her mind, in her heart. His insecurities, his fears, and his wishes. She doesn't shy away from him, but kisses him harder. His thoughts are exactly what she thought they were from the very beginning- a natural disaster. But she doesn't fear falling into them anymore, and in fact she thinks she likes them. She thinks she likes the way his mind works- ten emotions at one time battling to win out over one another. And when he pulls away, she likes the way his green eyes look at her like she's the whole world and the way his hands hold her tight enough for her to know that he doesn't think she's fragile but with enough care that she feels like she is all that he owns.
"Don't you ever," he's panting as he moves to place kisses along her jaw and at her collarbone, above her shoulders, anywhere the collar of her shirt will allow him. "Don't you ever pull away from me again."
She knows he's referring to the other afternoon, when he had left for the mission and she had closed off. "Why? Did I hurt your fragile ego?"
She's teasing, he's not. His hands are in her shirt and moving up, up, up until the offending piece of clothing is off of her. He's eager to kiss down her body, hands roaming the planes and curves that he must have memorized by now. He's kissing, kissing, kissing. Kissing away her tears, kissing right above her beating heart, kissing along her waistline. Frantic, needy, and-
Oh.
Oh. She thinks she's in love.
________________________________________________________________
The first time they slow down, she feels as though she has seen heaven.
Riven's lips on her lips, steady and firm yet gentle, as his hands lay splayed over her bare sides and his thumbs dig softly into the dips of her hipbones. One of her legs is tangled in the sheets around them and her other is hiked up above his hips, her heel digging into his spine. He moves inside of her, and when she feels her hips meet his, she slides her hands over his shoulders and lets her nails graze his back. He watches her below him, eyes asking if she's ok, she smiles at him and says, "Just… stay. Don't move for a bit."
And he does, closing the small space between them to catch her bottom lip between his teeth and pull on it before he continues with his love bites down her neck, behind her ears, onto her chest. He's making his way as far down as he can in their current position, and she's melting into him and fuck, she wants him to keep going. But she also wants him to slow down because she's on cloud nine right now and from up here she can see the stars in his eyes, can catch them between the kisses of his lips. Her hands move from his back, leaving behind what she can only assume is a mass of fresh red marks. They move to his chin as she drags him back up to meet her on that very cloud and then they're eye-level with one another once more. She feels the want form within him, she always does, but it’s an odd thing to actually see it emulated in his eyes. And there's something else there too, something she can't quite place and doesn't dare to assume of. When his lips brush hers for the umpteenth time, slowly shaping her name between them, she feels herself sink farther into him, a feat she had previously deemed impossible.
And her lips part in a whimper because oh good god, how had they never done this before? They were always so rushed, pulling at each other's clothes and stumbling into bed, falling into one another in a tangled mess of limbs and lust. Perhaps it was the fact that they had kept it in for so long, refusing to admit they liked each other and once they were together, not wanting to tell others for fear of shattering whatever fragile state they were in. Their relationship had started with fighting fueled by longing, innuendos charged with so many suggestions, and eventually an aching want that Musa still couldn’t wrap her mind around. Really, she shouldn't be surprised at how touch hungry the two of them had been at the beginning of the relationship. (How touch hungry they still were.) But right here in this moment, as she opens her eyes, she regrets not slowing down and taking him all in sooner.
He is a sight to behold, with tiny and larger scrapes all over his body that somehow added to his physique instead of taking away from it. They are tens of thousands of stars and she traces them over and over, forming constellations with his imperfections. The pads of her fingers run over the features of his face, committing every bit of him to memory, and as they skim the tiny scar above his left eyebrow, the question slips from her lips before she can stop herself.
"When did you get this one?"
He pulls away from her, just slightly so that he can see her face, and his eyes are darker than she's ever seen them as he lazily responds with a "Hmm?"
She's high on want and adrenaline, but she vaguely wonders if this is something he might not want to talk about. Too late to back out now. Plus, she'd like to know. "This scar. Above your eyebrow. How did you get it?"
Riven stiffens at her answer. She can feel his insecurity downing upon him, clouded by the desire and the want that still course through his body but slowly easing its way to the forefront of the battle that is his mind.
"I have them too," Musa whispers as she braces herself against his chest and heaves her body upward, brushing her lips against that very scar in question.
She moves back down again, and pulls her left arm slowly away from under him. She turns her head slightly to her left shoulder, using her index finger to point to a sliver of skin that's more taught and whiter than the rest of her. "I got this one when I was twelve. Tried to climb a tree that was too high off the ground. Had to get six stiches. My mom freaked out."
His eyeline follows her movements, and he stares at her shoulder for a few minutes. His gaze has her squirming a little, suddenly aware that she's naked in front of a boy she's very much into and that she has just pointed out one of the many flaws on her body. But then his eyes flicker upwards and he leans down and kisses her scar, just as she had kissed his.
"You're fucking perfect, you know that right?" She could cry.
"If you're trying to get in my pants, hate to break it to you, but they're already off," she teases, her voice soft and a smile on her lips. How else was she meant to respond?
He chuckles at her words, his laugh causing her to catch her breath as it does each and every time she hears it. It's an occasion that has become more common since they got together but which is still far and few in between. The sound vibrates off his body onto hers and has her writhing under him.
"Love, I would never consider your lack of garments a disappointment." He circles his hips above her, and she groans at the pressure. "And I would most certainly never forget being the one to take them off you, especially when you insist on making those noises."
Her eyes are blown wide as she grabs onto his forearm at the side of her head, where his fingers are buried in her hair. Her chest heaves up and down, up and down, heart beating so fast she's certain its rhythms are all in her mind and that it's no longer there. She's fairly sure she lost it somewhere between meeting him and getting here, to this moment.
He stops his teasing, opting instead to arch down once more and kiss the scar on her shoulder. He kisses it over and over until she feels her heartbeat slow down and her breath return to a somewhat normal pacing.
She tugs on his locks, silently motioning for him to come back up. Up he comes, and she's glad that she's somehow convinced him to continue denying her nothing.
"Tell me."
He knows she's referring to his scar.
They're nose to nose, foreheads touching, brown eyes boring into green ones.
"About a year and a half ago. Right when things started to get messy in my life. Messier than usual, I mean. Back then I was a bit of a nerd, hung out in the greenhouse all the time-"
"Yeah, I've heard a few stories from Terra," she cuts him off, a smile playing on her lips at the idea of Riven hunched over a lab bench with pretty vines all around him. It's a sight she hopes to one day see with her own two eyes, a side of him she knows she's so very close to opening up.
"Yeah, well, I'm sure you know how much of a dick I was after I started distancing myself from them. Sky, he got real mad one day. We were in Specialism class, learning some new sword tricks. I said some shitty things and then he tried to play the Saint Sky card. I got mad, I fought dirty. Scraped his arm with the sword. He finally snapped at me, landed a good blow right above my eyebrow." He laughed a bitter laugh at the memory. "Nearly missed my eye, the wanker. He apologized for two months straight. Either way, we both ended up in the infirmary and I figured I couldn't get rid of him. He kept me around and I stayed, almost like when we were children and we fought over dumb shit like who was the taller. Only difference now is that his scar healed and mine stayed."
That last sentence was loaded with so much, and Musa wanted to ask more but she didn't want to push her luck. She smiled at him, nudging his nose with hers. "So you used to fight over who was taller? The mental image of a baby Sky and baby Riven getting angry over something like that is almost, dare I say, adorable?"
He scoffs. "We were not adorable! We were two very manly twelve-year-olds with very some very manly, very reasonable arguments."
"Mmm," she hums against his skin. "Is that what you two have to this day? Manly arguments?"
"Are we really bringing Sky into the conversation while we're in bed?" She laughs, a full on laugh that comes from within her because his words were not what she had expected. "If you must know, now we argue over who’s got the hotter girlfriend."
His eyes are all mischief when she shakes her head at him. "Glad to see you two have really grown up."
"And I'm glad that I got the hotter girlfriend, because I'm not sure how else you've managed to keep me completely turned on while bringing up my best friend in the middle of us fucking."
And then it's her turn to tease him, turning her head slightly to the side so that she can catch his earlobe between her teeth and whisper in his ear. "I'll make it up to you."
And then she's flipping them over so that she's on top and she feels his breath catch. She smirks down at him mischievously and then they're off again, finishing what they started. She makes sure to go slow, to feel every bit of him as she moves, catch every angle of him below her and store it in her mind for safekeeping.
And when it's over and he's lying on his stomach, back facing the ceiling, she moves herself on top of him once more. Only this time, she kisses every scar on his body, sometimes asking where and how he got them until he finally gets the hint and starts sharing their stories before she can even ask. There are so many of them, some tiny and some much more noticeable. All of them have stories. She vows to herself that she will one day know all of them. That she will be there to soothe the next scrape, the next trauma. With each one of her kisses, she can feel the natural disaster within him reach a rhythm, not quite silenced but at peace.
They don't sleep that night. Only once she's sure she's kissed every inch of his body does she finally worm her way back into his arms, but they're both wide awake at that point. His eyes watch her in the dark, hair loose and splayed around them like some sort of blanket. It had been in pigtails at one point in the night.
"What are you thinking about?" she asks.
"I…I just," words knot in his mouth. His eyebrows furrow at her in frustration as he tries to untangle and spell them out for her. "God, I love you."
Just for that, she kisses his body all over again. And again. And again.
________________________________________________________________
Their first times have been nothing short of unexpected. It's never how either of them imagined all these firsts would go. They're not soft and tender, though there are moments like that in-between, but neither had expected that. Their raging passions did not allow for it. But what they had expected was a lot more arguing, a lot more push and pull. Instead, they seemed to somehow fall right into each other- crash and burn style, no holding back.
Their firsts were painful lessons that needed to be learned. They were gnawing pains that needed to be had, throbbing emotions that had to be felt and delt with. They were stinging feelings, these firsts- stinging because they felt too much too soon and too fast and neither knew what to do with all of that expect for let it bubble until it exploded before them in an aching manner.
Their aching firsts.
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Asalaam alaikum.. can you advise on how to deal with anxiety?
و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته 🤍
أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم،
ٱذۡهَبۡ إِلَىٰ فِرۡعَوۡنَ إِنَّهُۥ طَغَىٰ (24) قَالَ رَبِّ ٱشۡرَحۡ لِي صَدۡرِي (25) وَيَسِّرۡ لِيٓ أَمۡرِي (26) وَٱحۡلُلۡ عُقۡدَةٗ مِّن لِّسَانِي (27) يَفۡقَهُواْ قَوۡلِي (28) وَٱجۡعَل لِّي وَزِيرٗا مِّنۡ أَهۡلِي (29) هَٰرُونَ أَخِي (30) ٱشۡدُدۡ بِهِۦٓ أَزۡرِي (31) وَأَشۡرِكۡهُ فِيٓ أَمۡرِي (32) كَيۡ نُسَبِّحَكَ كَثِيرٗا (33) وَنَذۡكُرَكَ كَثِيرًا (34) إِنَّكَ كُنتَ بِنَا بَصِيرٗا (35) قَالَ قَدْ أُوتِيتَ سُؤْلَكَ يَا مُوسَى (36)
24. Go to Pharaoh; He has transgressed.” 25. He said, “My Lord, put my heart at peace for me. 26. And ease my task for me. 27. And untie the knot from my tongue. 28. So they can understand my speech. 29. And appoint an assistant for me, from my family. 30. Aaron, my brother. 31. Strengthen me with him. 32. And have him share in my mission. 33. That we may glorify You much. 34. And remember You much. 35. You are always watching over us.” 36. [Allāh] said, "You have been granted your request, O Moses
ٱذۡهَبَآ إِلَىٰ فِرۡعَوۡنَ إِنَّهُۥ طَغَىٰ (43) فَقُولَا لَهُۥ قَوۡلٗا لَّيِّنٗا لَّعَلَّهُۥ يَتَذَكَّرُ أَوۡ يَخۡشَىٰ (44) قَالَا رَبَّنَآ إِنَّنَا نَخَافُ أَن يَفۡرُطَ عَلَيۡنَآ أَوۡ أَن يَطۡغَىٰ (45) قَالَ لَا تَخَافَآۖ إِنَّنِي مَعَكُمَآ أَسۡمَعُ وَأَرَىٰ (46)
43. Go to Pharaoh. He has tyrannized. 44. But speak to him nicely. Perhaps he will remember, or have some fear.” 45. They said, “Lord, we fear he may persecute us, or become violent.” 46. He said, “Do not fear, I am with you, I hear and I see.
Surat Ta Ha (20) - طه 🤍
Dear sister, I found myself starting with these two passages that are of my absolute favorite passages in the holy Quran in general and in Surat Ta Ha in particular because in my mind when I hear the word anxiety it always connects to surat Ta Ha or what I love to call my anti-anxiety pill. Alhamdulillah.
Now why these passages? It might not be known or talked about a lot, but these verses are a proof that prophet Musa (as) had anxiety. In these verses, Allah swt orders him to go speak to the pharaoh, arguably the most tyrannizing criminal that this earth has seen. This task spikes prophet Musa's anxiety and in the first passage he asks Allah swt to (relax his chest) put his heart at peace and ease his affairs, then he requests support from a family member, his brother Harun (as) - and it is also interpreted that prophet Musa (as) had speech impairment, he has problems in his speech? Thus the " untie the knot from my tongue " duaa he made for Allah swt, so he needed to be also backed up by his brother. Can you imagine the amount of anxiety he must have been feeling and going through? Not only the Lord of the Worlds was directly speaking to him ( a surreal supernatural experience ) but also He swt was giving him such a BIG task! I mean sis! I have a thesis I need to finish and it feels like there is a mountain sitting on my chest 24/7, even when I sleep at night I have nightmares about it. And whenever I have to make an important phone call or go into the principal's office at work, I get the whole rapid heartbeats, stomachache, joint pain, shaky voice and whatnot. You know the drill.. Anyways, back to Musa (as), so what does Allah swt say? He swt doesn't tell him that he (Musa) is crazy or delusional, He swt doesn't accuse him of lack of faith, or of being dominated by the Shaytan's waswasah (whispers) like these now Shaykhs throw at us. He swt is the all-knowing, the most just, the most fair, the most merciful and the most gracious. He swt not only acknowledges prophet Musa (as)'s fear and immediately reassures him and calms his heart : you have been granted your request! " Ya Allah.. this gets me every time wallahi.
You know what's the thing we need the most when our anxiety hits? Reassurance. Full stop. Reassurance silences all the voices inside our heads, calms us down, puts our hearts to ease. And what a better place to get reassurance from other than Allah swt?
And Allah swt does it again, further down in the Surah, when faces with the task again prophet Musa (as) voices his worries again, and Allah swt doesn't get fed up with him, doesn't accuse him of being a coward or annoying.. He swt patiently assures him that He swt is with him and with his brother, He swts hears and listens. I once heard a tafseer for this verse that compares it to a mother's love, when her child goes out to play and she will reassure them by saying she is around not far away she could see them from the window and hear them if they need anything. How comforting, sübhanallah.
With that being said and clarified, let me cut to the chase before the post gets too long.
The first step to dealing with your anxiety is to actually accept it. Never be ashamed of it. It is something that even a high-ranking prophet experienced. It is not a sin, it is not your fault, it is just the way your brain is wired. And it is something that Allah swt is testing you with. And the first step to pass your test is to actually acknowledge and accept it. For me, it felt like my whole life made sense the moment I was diagnosed with anxiety. When my therapist actually uttered the words, which wasn't a long time ago, I felt so sorry for all the girls that I have been, throughout the different stages of my life whom had to struggle and push through the pain, the dilemma, the countless anxiety attacks and made it through without actually knowing what they had, while being called crazy, gaslit, disregard, attacked, humiliated, mocked, bullied, etc.. for something that they didn't do nor did they understand. So my first advice to you is to befriend your anxiety, you win nothing by fighting it and making it your enemy. On the contrary, she (oh trust me it's a she, lmao) is a part of who you are, to the point that it could define some of your personality traits, she lives in your head rent free, she is not going anywhere anytime soon, so you better make peace with her. Rejecting, hating, attacking, blaming your anxiety will only make it worse.
Another basic advice is to actually study it, learn it, identify your triggers, be in tone with your body, pay attention to your mood changes, your heart rate, the stomach pain, or whatever symptoms you experience, and identify the act or event or task that generated and triggered those symptoms. That's how you find your triggers, and then next time when you anticipate that thing, you could go through it in your head, you could rehearse or make plans, you could take all your precautions and whatnot.
As for remedies, I am no therapist, so I am not allowed to prescribe anything, but I do take pills myself when necessary. God knows sometimes it gets too much. Breathing helps. Deep thorough breaths from the tummy, they can help calm your heartbeats.. if when you feel anxious about something you would have the time to read some Quran then please do it, it really calms you down and distracts you from the problem even momentarily. Umm, you can listen to your comfort audio (be it a quran recitation or something like I have already mentioned in the post earlier today), talk to someone who makes you comfortable, whether a parent, a partner, a sibling, a best friend... and finally, I will give you my therapist's golden tip: if it doesn't work, ASK FOR HELP.
And eventually, always go back to Allah swt, the source of all comfort, the source of all reassurance and the source of all good. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Allah said, 'I am to my slave as he thinks of Me, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him). So always try to think (after you are done freaking out 😅) that Allah swt has got you, and that probably all the bad things that you are scared of won't even come true. Allah swt is the most merciful and the most gracious, He swt is the best of planners and no one has out best interest more than the Pne who created us. Alhamdulillah.
Tbh, I could go on about this for days, but I think I have written the longest answer for an ask in the history of Tumblr. So imma stop here.
I will leave you with 3 very meaningful duaas that are supposed to be recited in the morning and evening adhkar, try to incorporate them in your daily routine, and you will soon notice the difference, bi idhn Allah :)
- بسم الله الذي لا يضر مع اسمه شيء في الأرض و لا في السماء و هو السميع العليم ×3
In the name of Allah with whose name nothing is harmed on earth nor in the heavens and He is The All-Seeing, The All-Knowing. x3
حسبي الله لا إله إلا هو عليه توكلت وهو رب العرش العظيم ×7
Allah is sufficient for me, none has the right to be worshipped except Him, upon Him I rely and He is Lord of the exalted throne. x7
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْعَافِيَةَ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالآخِرَةِ، اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْعَفْوَ وَالْعَافِيَةَ فِي دِينِي وَدُنْيَايَ وَأَهْلِي وَمَالِي، اللَّهُمَّ استُرْ عَوْرَاتي، وآمِنْ رَوْعَاتي، اللَّهمَّ احْفَظْنِي مِنْ بَينِ يَدَيَّ، ومِنْ خَلْفي، وَعن يَميني، وعن شِمالي، ومِن فَوْقِي، وأعُوذُ بِعَظَمَتِكَ أنْ أُغْتَالَ مِنْ تَحتي ×1
O Allah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in this life and the next. O Allah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in my religious and worldly affairs, and my family and my wealth. O Allah, veil my weaknesses and set at ease my dismay, and preserve me from the front and from behind and on my right and on my left and from above, and I take refuge with You lest I be swallowed up by the earth
P.s. you should know that I have written this answer for hours, taking as many breaks as my heart and my mind needed. I hope I managed to make a good enough answer for you 🤍.
May Allah swt calm your worries, and grant your heart sakinah and reassurance. Ameen.
Stay safe my dear, and don't hesitate to talk to me whenever it gets too much.
- A. Z. 🍃
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The Last of Us Headcannons
Summary: Headcannons about TLOU2 characters
A/N: I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a bit, I’ve ben stressed so I thought I’d write for my comfort characters lmao
Warnings: Slight NSFW mentions, TLOU2 spoilers
Word count: 2.4K
Ellie
-This girl is the best girlfriend i swear
-She will always tell you she loves you when she leaves or even if she goes into the other room
-She’s lost a lot of people so she’s always telling you how much she loves you just in case
-Helping her when she has nightmares, especially after joel's death
-”Please don’t leave me.”
-“Ellie, I’m not going anywhere.”
-She’s definitely a lover of old music
-80s and early 90s was definitely her favorite eras music and movies wise
-Gifting her records you found in abandoned buildings
-She draws you a lot, especially when you aren’t paying attention
-One time she couldn’t sleep so she drew you, she thought you looked peaceful asleep. That drawing is probably her favorite she’s ever done.
-You basically live with her in the garage she lives in
-Winters are always cold in the garage so y’all are basically attached to each other
-You both are cuddled up watching movies with tons of blankets on
-This girl is horny all the time, like if yall are alone she’s on top of you
-Dancing together at the dances
-This girl is so clingy omfg
-Ellie worries about the looks and comment yall get when showing affection in public so she tends to tone down her clinginess
-Joel loves you, point blank period
-When ellie tells you what joel did for her, you didn’t know if you should be happy or sad
-They were gonna take ellie away from you, you probably would've done the same
-”My life would have mattered.”
-”Your life matters to me.”
-You tried to make her feel better about it though, telling her that there would still be bad people and infected in the world
-Neck kisses from the back, my heart is melting holy shit
-She asks maria to put you on routes with her cause mama you are not going without her
-Puns, just puns all the time and you love it
-Definitely calls you babe and baby, you always make fun of her for it but she knows you loves it
-Yall make fun of each other but it’s all in good fun she will never take it too far
Joel
-You’re this mans baby idc
-No one hurts you or they will get tracked down and their knee caps will be gone
-Joel knows full well you can take care of yourself but he just gets so mad
-This man is so soft for you
-He tries to spoil you the best way he can, going out of his way to get you presents from abandon stores
-Teaches you how to play guitar
-He will have you sit in his lap and play the chords
-”Is it sounding better?”
-He just nods and kisses along your back
-He will sing you to sleep if you ask him
-This man has shown you some good ass music, yall sometimes just lay in bed and listen to old records
-He loves the way you look in his shirts, this man melts or bends you over the kitchen table
-He doesn’t cry often but this man is hurt
-The first time you saw him cry was when he broke down to you about ellie and the fireflies and what he did
-It hurt him a lot to admit it but he was so relieved that he could let go and someone be on his side for once
-Tells you all about sarah and how she would like you
-”She would’ve loved you.”
-”Yeah, casue i’m the coolest.”
-”You're a nerd.” He chuckled out
-He would happily tell you about life before the infection, what it was like to not have to look over your shoulder all the time
-He would never tell you about his time in boston
-He didn’t want to scare you, so you never asked but you had a good idea of what happened because of tommy
-Slow dancing in the kitchen while dinner is on the stove
-Forehead kisses in the morning when he has to leave for rounds and your dead to the world
-Calls you Babygirl and princess, IDK HE JUST SEEMS LIKE THE TYPE OKAY
-His voice in the morning>>>>>>
-Will watch you dance from a far while at dances
-Takes you out on little dates, he doesn’t even care about the stares yall (The age gap)
-He is prepared for anything to happen so he loves you like it’s his last day
-Talks about having kids with you but is okay if you don’t want them, i mean he’s not sure if he wants another one but hell, He said he wasn’t going to date anymore but here we are
-If you want kids he doesn't care hold old he is, he will try and try and try to give you a child
-”Damn it i got my period.”
-”Well then I reckon we gotta try again, huh baby girl.” He says with a smirk
-This man has a daddy kink and that’s all i gotta say about that umm anyways
-He is madly in love with you and he shows it, he has lost too many people and he has the mindset of “Good things don’t last forever”
Tommy
-I love this man with all my heart, he’s my baby
-He’s very caring and will hold you anytime you need to be held
-He just wants to help people and make the world a little easier for them so he overworks himself to the max trying to keep everything in jackson in order
-”Tommy, it’s 3 am and you got rounds in the morning. Come to bed.”
-”Yeah i'll be in there in a minute, i just gotta figure out the food supply situation.”
-Having to drag his ass to bed
-He loves cuddling, he loves feeling close to you
- Your the fighter of the relationship, tommy doesn’t like to fight if he doesn’t have too so he lets you deal with the violent stuff
-Although tommy loves his brother, he has a hard time forgiving him for the violence he exposed him too
-He feels very undeserving of you and everything good in his life., you have to constantly reassure him that he is a good person and is doing a great job
-He does have nightmares of being in Boston but you were always there for him, he was so thankful for you.
-He loves your cooking, like it can be the most simple thing ever and he’d be like
-”This is the best Cereal i have ever had, who taught you to cook like this?”
-He has mommy issues, like his mother wasn’t really around so he has a lot of issues with that ig
-He is the best kisser i said what i said
-He’s very passionate and possessive, it’s cute
-He gives you his jackets all the time, he thinks you look so cute in them
- This man is literally the softest i can’t
-He doesn’t cut his hair just because one time you told him you liked it long
-”Jeez honey, your hair is getting pretty long.”
-”Shoot, do I need to cut it again.”
-”No...I like it long, it flatters your face.”
-”I will literally never touch my hair again ever again now that you said that, Okay”
-You have expanded this mans music taste
-He only ever listened to country cause i mean he’s a simple man but then you came along
-You got him a walkman just so he can listen to the music you recommend him
-He tells ellie all about you and asks her for help because he doesn’t want to mess up anything
-He’s not good in relationships and he believes he’s not a very attractive man so he doesn’t really try but he sees himself marrying you
-Spoiler he asks you to marry him because he can’t see himself without you, he doesn’t want to imagine how the world would be so dark without you in it
-He’s not into cute nicknames so he’ll just call you honey
-After joel's death, he was broken and you didn’t think you can even put him back together, but your willing to try
Dina
-I think you would be dina’s first girlfriend but she would love you with all her heart
-She kissed you at the dance and everything kinda clicked from there
-She would sneak over to you house in the middle of the night
-”Jesus, i could've killed you.”
-”But you didn’t silly, come on i’m cold lemme in.”
-”You're gonna be the death of me dina.”
-Your rounds with her were never boring, it was always an adventure with her
-Making out behind building because she couldn’t wait till yall got home
-This girl will tease you until your bright read in the face
-She will definitely love kissing you, like she will just randomly kiss you
-She will try to smash you literally anywhere, when she’s wanting to do the nasty it doesn’t matter where you are she will pull you into a random room or bathroom
-She never bores you in bed too, she’s always up to do new things especially since your her first girlfriend
-When she found out she was pregnant she wanted to give this child the best life so yall decided to move out into a farmhouse
- Having a kid didn’t really change how she loves you
-She’s still crazy and wild but now she just has a kid on her hip
-You guys were co parents so you both would hunt and take care of JJ
-You guys would do almost anything to make that kid laugh even if that was dancing like lunatics for an hour straight
-You guys almost never get alone time so just laying in bed without the kid felt nice
-Yall are cottagecore lesbians idc, yall are the best parents and i said what i said
-From behind hugs and kisses, she will grab your hips and kiss your neck until you have no choice but to rip her clothes off
-Vintage records and slow dancing with JJ
-I feel like being in a relationship with dina feels like a vintage song about love
-There's lots of dancing in this relationship because dina loves dancing
-She’s always afraid that you will feel left out in the family though since your not JJs real parent but you always tell her you don’t mind and you love JJ just like how Jesse would
-She finds it so hot when your all protective parent when it comes to JJ, as soon as he falls asleep mama yall wont get any sleep
-Yall are the best parents, dina will fight anyone who hurts JJ and you make him feel loved
-When he gets older you guys try to tell him about Jesse without making you seem like the outsider of the family if that makes sense
-Taking care of the animals and plants as a family and reading books about how to while laying in bed
-Dina makes the best food and she tries to teach you but it just doesn’t add up to what she does
-Okay we don’t know much about her sister but by the picture we saw she looks hella cool and i think you would be like best friends with her
Jesse
- yall sleep on this man i swear, so this one is to all my jesse stans are there
-He’s kinky, that’s all
-He knows he’s hot and he’s super cocky about it
-He’s not much of a cuddler ngl but he will fall asleep and wake up spooning you
-Your really close to his mom, like she loves you so much
-He’s very reckless and your kinda the opposite so you kinda tone him down abit so you think that’s why his mom likes you so much
-Jesse isn’t much of a dancer and he doesn’t really listen to music but he does like to play video games
-You always pick him up video games randomly and gets so excited
-You force him to dance with you at dances and he’s so awkward about it
-”I hate this.”
-”Awe you love it.”
-Always trying to grope you while dancing, like will have his hands on your ass and theres kids behind you like sir stoppp but like keep going
-”Hey! watch those hands.”
-”I have no idea what your talking about”
-You and dina are pretty good friends like even after their weird relationship, she’s happy for the both of you
-Okay so let's pretend jesse didn’t die and he is alive and well
-When he finds out dina is pregnant he freaks out, he’s still pretty young so he’s terrified he won’t be good enough
-When the baby comes though he’s so excited, when he’s in the infirmary with dina your happy for him but you can’t help but feel an outsider
-Dina is so sweet and tries to make you feel better
-”You're gonna be the coolest step parent ever. I’m glad my son gets such a badass step mom damn.”
-Dina does move out of jackson still though so yall only get JJ every other week, that was the agreement
-He cooks in the morning for you and JJ while yall are laying in bed
-I’m sorry but he’s literally the coolest dad, his entire life changes because of that kid
-When JJ leaves to go over to his moms house Jesse won’t let you get out of bed, this mf hasn’t got any in a week
-He gets a bunch of cook books so he can better his ability to cook for little JJ
-You guys decorate JJs room together and it’s the cutest thing ever
-He takes you to romantic places in the abandon city when yall are on rounds together
-Jesse has a lot of friends but he would much rather hang out with you
-Yall call each other stupid and dumb a lot but it’s never used as an insult its just for fun
-”Damn it, why do i always get the nasty ones.”
-”Because your stupid, dummy.”
-”That’s right, i forgot.”
-Your guys bed is never made, you guys don’t even bother at this point. Like either the kid messes it up or you guys mess it up so what's the point
-He picks you up when he hugs you, literally pick you up from the waist and lift you up
!Credits to gif owners!
#The last of us#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us x reader#ellie williams#tlou ellie#ellie williams x reader#joel miller#joel miller x reader#tlou joel#Tommy miller#tommy miller x reader#tlou tommy#dina x reader#tlou dina#Tlou dina x reader#tlou jesse
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The Queen’s Lynchpin
We’re getting to part 3 of the ‘Successors of the Future”! This week has gone back to being hectic so I could only write this part here and there for only a few hours. Still, I’m happy that I could finally finish it.
And we have the names of MC’s and Yandere!Malleus children as well as his second wife and the other prince! Any piece of info from @tri3tri Second Wife AU is always fun to read! With that said, I’ll be adding their names into the 2 previous oneshots after this is posted so it’s all align. If you want to know more about this AU, please drop by at @tri3tri blog. Their content and drabbles are amazing!
Lastly, I think it’s alright if I don’t add the link and summary of the previous oneshots of this series in every new piece. The intro is just gonna be super long otherwise. But if you guys think that a link and summary it’s a good, please let me know I’ll be sure to add them in.
-
“Uh Mama? Have you been hearing... noises in the middle of the night?”
“You mean your sister talking to her mirror in her room in the dead of the night? Then yes, sweetie.”
MC smile, deeply amused, when her son let out a huge sigh of relief. “Oh, it’s just her talking to Ren.”
“I’ll tell her to keep it down if she’s talking to Renata at night, don’t worry.” MC assured him with a pat on his head.
“Thanks, Mama. Say, do you have any plans for today?” Lucien’s sudden question was a little odd to MC. The three of them have been staying in the house - only going out for a grocery run - lately, and she didn’t have any plans to change it.
“Not really. I was thinking to catch up with some leftover work from the office before Monday comes. Why? Do you want to go anywhere?” MC inquire curiously.
Lucien is quick to shake his head. “Oh, no, no. Umm... Mama, you often look so sad lately. We know that having Ren away at Twisted Wonderland has been hard on you, so I just thought maybe we could all do something to help make you feel better.” He explains with a bit of hesitance, wringing his hands. It’s clear to MC that this is one sensitive topic that he didn’t want to unintentionally hurt her with.
MC couldn’t help but smile at how thoughtful her little one is. Really, all of her children can be rowdy in their own way but at the end of the day, she always noticed that they tried so hard not to make her worry. But as the parent, it’s her honour to protect her children - not the other way around. Which is why seeing the hesitant expression on Lucien’s face tugs her heart.
“Oh, Luci. I didn’t mean to worry you and your sisters. It’s just that...” MC paused for a moment to think on how to properly express her feelings. “None of you has ever been separated from me. The issue with your father is one thing, but I can’t help but fret about your oldest sister. Is she eating well over there? Sleeping early on a school day? Oh, but then again, she does have a habit of waking up around 2 in the morning looking for a snack if she sleeps too early.” MC bit her lower lip, she should have told Renata during their last talk to keep some snacks in her room in case she gets hungry.
Ever since Renata had first contacted Sherrie and taught her the communication runes and she in return, taught her and Lucien on how to draw them on any mirror in the house, they all have been talking to Renata through the large, hanging mirror in the living room every day.
“We can ask her if she’s been waking up in the middle of night after our dinner, Mama.” Lucien assured their mother. He took her empty tea cup and pour some tea from the still hot pot and push the porcelain cup back to her. They were having tea and a light meal in the kitchen after he had woken up from his nap.
Sherrie passed on their invitation since she’s too busy livestreaming her latest game in her room. From below, they could hear her muffled voice.
MC took a sip and hums thoughtfully. “You’re right, Honey. I’ll be sure to do that. Anyway, you mentioned a family activity - what do you have in mind?” Perhaps a distraction is just what she needed to get her mind off Malleus and the inevitable danger he’ll bring.
Lucien’s eyes brighten in delight. Happy that he could do something to cheer her up.
“I found this recipe recently and I was hoping that we can all cook together? It’ll be fun I promise!” He pleaded. Among all her children, Lucien is the only one with the knack for cooking. Sherrie can make simple meals whenever she wants.
Renata, however, needs to be supervised even if she wants to boil a pot of water.
“Sure! I’d love to. So what’s this recipe you want to cook?”
Much later when it’s almost dinner time and Sherrie wrapped up her livestream, MC and Lucien are already in the kitchen preparing to cook. Curiously, she glances at the list of ingredients and steps for dinner that was left on the kitchen counter and her eyes bugged out at what they were going to make.
“I feel like there are things that mankind should never attempt lest the price be their sanity. And this? This is it!” Sherrie shrieked, flapping the flimsy paper incredulously at them. MC is preparing the dough while Lucien makes sure they got all the ingredients out and ready.
“What? Boba pizza sounds delicious!” Lucien rebuke with a small frown. “And beside, you won’t know if you like them if you haven’t try.”
Sherrie just slap her forehead at his words, as if she couldn’t believe this. “I know you’re pretty crazy for boba teas but this is ridiculous! Pizza dessert for dinner? Can’t we have something normal, Mama?” She pleaded their mother.
MC toss her a playful smile as she rolls the dough. “Well honey, it does sound pretty exciting when you said it. Pizza dessert!” When Sherrie’s face scrunched up in disgust, she tries to coax her daughter, “Aww, c’mon, honey. Look, you can order a delivery for yourself but come have fun with us! I’ll even let you toss the dough if you want.”
Sherrie folded after that. Honestly, making pizza - of any kind - is always messy process, but her children are having fun with smudges of powder on their faces and MC felt her heart lighten just hearing them laugh. Dinner might be unconventional tonight, but it was worth it to see Lucien enjoy eating his pizza and Sherrie reluctant admittance that it tasted alright, if a bit weird.
Once the kitchen is all cleaned up and their stomachs full, they settled in the living room. MC and Lucien watched as Sherrie used her old, red lipstick to draw the runes on the mirror. The surface rippled once, sinking the runes and reveal Renata in her pyjamas beaming at them.
“Good evening everyone! How are ya’ll doing?”
“Hi sweetie. We just had dinner.” MC said, glad that her eldest daughter still looks healthy and happy.
“You wouldn’t believe what we had for dinner.” Sherrie interjects dryly. The 3 of them are sitting on the couch with MC in the middle. “It’s so weird!”
“But you liked it!” Lucien countered with a smug grin before turning to his oldest sister. “We had boba pizza! It was amazing!”
“Boba pizza!? Nooo! I can’t believe you all ate them without me! I’ve been wanting to try them!” Renata whines. “I wish we can pass stuffs through the mirror. Wait - I might be able to do something about that actually.” She goes on to mutter about needing to bully the headmaster again.
The family traded what they did during the day, Renata assuring them that yes, she had a storage full of snacks in her room and that her favourite lesson so far is Flying class. Once that’s out of the way, MC asked her daughter, “How are your assignments? Is Leona-senpai’s son helping you out?”
When Renata told them that her History’s assignment partner is none other than Leona’s son, MC was a bit worried if he carries his father prejudice against Malleus towards her daughter, but Renata assured her that other than his funny attempts at posturing and warning growls, Bakari Kingscholar has been nothing but civil and helping out with researching and editing their papers.
“Yup! We’re nearly done with our homework and I think we’re friends now? He’s a bit of tsundere which makes teasing him so much fun!” Renata giggled. “You know, just today we decided to have lunch together after our assignment and when I went back to my room and check my bag, there was a candy bar inside. He must’ve slip it in when I told him that I snacked often.”
Sherrie immediately drop her phone. She was mindlessly browsing through her Twitter account while they talked, but her attention perk like a hound dog. “Whoa, whoa wait - he bought you food when you told him that you eat often? Me thinks he might like you, dude.”
MC’s eyes widen and Lucien gape. Could that be true!?
But Renata just rolled her eyes. “Oh please, I think he was thanking me for not making him do all the work. You know those tough guy acts? Yeah, it’s nothing special.”
Sherrie tilt her head, clearly not believing it, but keep it to herself for now.
“Being the only girl in a school for boys must be tough.” Lucien mused sympathetically. “I’m glad that you have a friend with you, Ren.”
“Well, Diasomnia students has mostly been friendly yet distant with me so far. Probably because of this,” Renata twirl her fingers beside her horns to emphasise her point. “But it’s cool. So far, no one tries to bully me or anything. And by the way, I’ve been staying out of trouble, Cherry. I haven’t even landed myself in detention so far.” She proudly announced.
“Yet.” Sherrie snickers.
Lucien frowns at her. “Ren has been working hard, Cherry. She’s been sticking to your plans, right? I seriously don’t think she will mess it up.”
“Nah, it’s all cool Luci. I’ve mostly been blowing off steam during Magishift. It’s super fun! I wish you guys could play too.” Renata said and then proceed to explain to her siblings what Magishift is all about.
That’s another thing that MC had picked up as Lucien grew up. Despite how close her daughters are, they do bickers as sisters tend to and Lucien usually act as the mediator and peacemaker between them when things get too heated.
MC couldn’t help wonder if her sweet boy would ever be like this if he was raised in Malleus’ castle.
The family talked a little more until it was getting late. After bidding each other goodnight and MC telling her daughter to keep herself safe, she ushered Lucien and Sherrie to their bed and tucked herself in.
That night, she dreamt of a past memory. However in her dream, all 3 of her children are laughing and free as they grow in her world.
-
Now that Lucien thinks about it - he doesn’t really know what Sherrie plan is exactly. He’s aware that they’re doing their best to help Renata avoid being discover by their father as long as they can and Mama told her to make friends with the children of her old friends since they helped her out a lot during her school life in Night Raven College but other than that? He doesn’t know what they would do once father found out about their oldest sister.
That particular though came back in his mind when he woke up from his sleep because he heard Sherrie giggling in her room. With blearily eyes, he checked the time on his phone and groan.
It’s 3.15 in the morning.
He push himself out of his warm bed with great difficulties and slowly padded towards Sherrie’s bedroom.
He knocked twice and groan, “Sherrie? It’s seriously late. Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
“Shit, Luci-chan? Sorry, did I woke you up? You can come in if you want. The door is not locked.”
With a tired grumbled, he swings open the door and zombie-walk to her sister who is sitting in front of her vanity table, talking to Renata.
“Hey Luci! Sorry that we woke you up!” Renata apologised quickly, guilty that they’ve disturbed their little brother. “I was just reporting to Cherry that I found several hidden and unmarked paths that connects to father’s castle and to the outside world of the Valley of Thorns. I thought it might come in handy so I wanted to share it with her.”
That sounds interesting to Lucien. He’s a little more awake now. “Did you use your spells to scout the area?”
“I sure did! Haven’t been caught by anyone or any bat so far.”
“What... what does father’s castle look like?” Lucien couldn’t help but asked. It’s hard to believe that he and his family are actually royalty. That his Mama and sisters used to live in a castle.
It’s still hard to accept that he’s actually a prince.
“Gloomy.” Was Renata immediate reply. All her previous good humour vanishes and her hard glare surprises him. “We hardly get any sunshine because father controls the weather with his temper tantrums.”
“Not to mention that we had to live with basically strangers.” Sherrie added. “I never really feel comfortable around the castle’s staffs. Sure we got the family wing all to ourselves but we still had to deal with them.” Both Lucien and Renata understand her unspoken words: having to deal with judgemental strangers is difficult.
“What are you going to do once father founds out you’re in Twisted Wonderland, Ren? Are you going to go hiding?” Lucien asked.
It’s Sherrie who answered him, “No. We’re going to make sure that he can’t forcefully take Mama or any of us back to the castle. I just need a little more info and we can act once the 3 of us are in Twisted Wonderland.” She explains.
“We suspect that once Cherry hits sixteen, the Ebony Carriage will also pick her up and by that time I’ll be in my second year as a student here. If that’s the case, we just need you here and then it’s the second phase.” Renata took over explaining here. “Rumours spread fast in Night Raven College, but it’s not going to reach to father. He’s in an isolated country. Well, not until he’s here.”
Lucien blink, now lost. “He? Who’s he?”
“We have a halfbrother - Victor. He’s the same age as you, Luci-chan. Looks like father didn’t waste any time getting his second wife pregnant.” Sherrie said with a smile that honestly send cold shivers up his spine. It’s sweet with a poison laced underneath. Lucien seen this smile only once. A girl from school tried to blackmailed and bullied her into doing her biddings.
He heard that the girl was transferred to another school in a different state soon after when news broke out that she was selling drugs with her boyfriend to the students.
Lucien would like to believe that the incident had nothing to with his sister, but he’s seen what she does for Renata whenever she lost her homework or to the English Literature teacher that had an issue with her.
So Lucien needed to asks this. “Are you... are you going to hurt him?” His voice is soft and careful.
Through the mirror, Renata eyed Sherrie in which his second sister leans into her chair and relaxes. “I won’t, don’t worry. After all, he’s not at fault.”
Words are Sherrie’s favourite playthings and at that moment, Lucien hopes she means it.
-
Funny enough, I’ve been calling S/N (Lucien) as Luciel because it means light and I HC that MC sees him as the unexpected light that Malleus gave her. Her daughters are a treasure but Lucien serve as MC’s light. It’s fate!
So far for Lucien, my main reference for him are two people actually. Dead Master from Black Rock Shooter and Nisha Labyrinth from Elsword!
Will expand more on them as I continue to write. Also, I’m shit when it comes to timeline and ages so here’s my rough idea so far:
Renata = 16 years old (first-year student)
Sherrie = 15 years old
Lucien = 13 yeard old
I’ll change the kids’ age if Tri reveal them on their blog.
#twisted wonderland#fanfic#twst mc#malleus draconia x mc#twst kids#Malleus and MC kids#yandere malleus draconia#Draconia Family series#Second Wive AU
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f*** being friends
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Summary: Steve is in love with his friend but he doesn't want to ruin their friendship
Warnings: mentions of copulation, making out (it gets heated), jealous steve, awkward steve, lil bit of angst, brief mentions of being bullied (verbally), mentions of game of thrones, i’m hoping for this to be really sweet and fluffy that y’all get diabetes in a healthy way, writing mistakes bby
Characters: Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, Erik Lehnsher (xmen), Cisco Ramon (the flash)
Word Count: 6.5k yikes
an: i have no idea where those characters came from but they’re there. also, hi! im posting something lmao shocker :o ctto of this picture
masterlist
The supersoldier who woke up in the wrong century would’ve been going through a whole lot of hell alone if it wasn’t for the cute scientist who was considerate and patient with him in helping him adjust to his new surroundings after the time-hopping incident. Fury took him to the tower that was owned by the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist (as he likes to be called) after he tried to run through the streets of the modernized city of New York with his bare feet and that’s where he met her.
The female scientist contrasted Tony Stark so much that it made Steve wonder how Tony even managed to get someone like her to be his assistant scientist. Steve didn’t have to wonder about how you were able to handle Tony because he was a hundred percent sure that you will be able to get along with anyone because you’re… you.
While Tony was an obnoxious guy who likes mocking him, you were nothing but sweet to him. Going out of your way to make him feel comfortable and show him how time has changed the past. You taught him everything he should know and anything he wanted to know and in return, he bestowed you stories from his time before, during, and after the war and the supersoldier serum.
When you told him embarrassing stories about Tony and confessed that you sometimes get vexed by your boss that resulted in you ‘accidentally’ making one of his suits dance crazily while he’s in it, you and Steve shared a laugh and thus, started a genuine friendship.
Tony groans dramatically when he sees Steve giggling at his assistant while they’re making something in the kitchen. He walks over to them and knocks on the counter to catch the pair’s attention before giving them a faux smile. “As much as I love seeing capsicle giggling like a halfwit, I’m gonna have to ask you to stop stealing my assistant. We’re in the middle of discovering what must be the most important information in the world and you’re out here stealing her for shits and giggles.” Tony looks at the captain with a stern look before noticing your dramatic eye roll. “Hey-” he was about to chastise you when you cut him off.
“Tony, learning how to bake chocolate chip cookies isn’t the most important thing in the world but I admire you for asking me for help for the sake of Morgan. But please, stop being so dramatic.” you chuckle at the end of your complaint. Tony bites his lip as Steve looks at you with such fondness without you even noticing it and he doesn’t know if he should feel sorry for the love-struck captain or be annoyed at how stupid and juvenile he was being. Just ask the girl out, goddammit.
You turn to look at Steve before sighing, “Well, duty calls.” you shrug and smile at Steve when he reaches a hand towards your face to fix a stray hair away from your face. You stood frozen, staring at his ocean eyes that were staring right back at you before he started blinking and looked away. “Alright. I’ll see you later?” he asks as he looks back at you and you nod at him with a smile before walking past Tony. Tony rolls his eyes at Steve before pointing at him. “You clearly have it bad for her, cap. Why don’t you do us all a favor and just ask her out?”
Steve gawks at Tony, his face tinting a tiny shade of red before shaking his head. “What are you talking about? We’re just really good friends, Stark. I don’t even want to have this conversation with you.” Steve’s jaw clenches before he too walks out of the kitchen.
Good friends my ass. Tony shakes his head in disbelief, smirking to himself. This is going to be fun.
Some members of the team were in the kitchen, elbows on the counter, and tired out of their minds. Sam has his head on the counter, Natasha was taking a bite out of her sandwich every now and then, and Clint was slurping the milk from his cereal bowl. There was a mission the day before and everyone was showing how much it took a lot out of them.
Y/N was putting whipped cream on top of the iced chocolate drink she made when Steve walked in. His face showed how tired he is but it quickly lightened up when he saw Y/N grinning at him with the iced chocolate. Steve made his way towards her and sat beside her, watching her put colorful sprinkles on the whipped cream before sliding the glass in front of him.
“There ya go! Made with love and all.” she laughs at her own joke and Steve grins at her before taking a sip, earning a mustache made of whipped cream. “So good” Steve closes his eyes as he moans dramatically, making Y/N laugh even more. When Steve looks back at Y/N, she chuckles at him before making a motion towards the space between her nose and her upper lip.
“What?” Steve smiles as he tilts his head to the side.
“Here, let me…” Y/N gets a tissue before leaning towards Steve’s face and gently wiping the whipped cream off his face. God only knows how much I want to kiss his whipped cream covered lips.
Steve stared at her face, heart fluttering at the closeness of her face and gulps when he sees her looking back at his eyes. Those eyes will be the death of me. I wonder if she’ll look at me like that when I’m giving it to her good.
He watches as her eyes flutter towards his lips and then back to his eyes before he’s leaning closer to her face, his lips almost brushing against hers. Fuck.
A bang interrupted them and they quickly pulled away from each other, awkwardly trying to compose themselves. Bucky seats beside Sam who was glaring at him. “You just have to stroll in here, you armless shithead.”
“Not cool, dude.” Clint chuckles before dumping his bowl at the sink. Natasha just sighs before taking another bite off her sandwich.
Y/N’s ears perked up when Sam’s words registered to her brain. Armless shithead.
She turns to look at Bucky before cursing under her breath. “Oh gosh, Bucky. I’m so sorry! Your arm reattachment scheduled this morning completely slipped out of my mind. Oh god. I’ll bring it up here now. Just give me a sec.” Y/N stumbles out of her chair, earning a concerned look from Steve who held his hand out just in case the fidgeting scientist falls. Y/N successfully runs out of the kitchen unharmed, leaving two supersoldiers confused.
“What’d I do?” Bucky asks Sam who just shakes his head at him. Nat did the same thing as Sam did when Bucky turned to look at her. Steve still stared at the door that Y/N left in, thinking about how he almost kissed her and realizing how stupid he was. He could have ruined their friendship right then and there. She was so jumpy and awkward right after too. She probably got spooked by his actions.
“Why the constipated face, capsicle.” As if he wasn’t suffering enough, Tony enters the kitchen with a smug smile. “Barnes ruined his chances of kissing the little scientist.” Sam scoffed as Bucky gasped. “Oh shit. Sorry, punk. I didn’t know you were making moves already. Thought you would never do it. Sorry for ruining the moment. You’ll get—” Bucky’s teasing words were cut off by Steve’s booming voice. “Will you all just stop it?! We’re just friends. Stop pushing it. I don’t see her that way so please, just stop. We’re friends and that’s that.” Just as Steve’s speech was ending, a flustered Y/N walked in with a huge box. She walks over to Bucky and starts fumbling with his arm.
Steve curses under his breath as he realized that she just heard his ‘confession’ and it’s not exactly what he wanted her to know. It’s exactly the contrary to what he’s feeling. He wants to be more than just her friend but he didn’t have the guts to do something about it. He also didn’t want to ruin the beautiful friendship that they already have. Relationships are too complicated and he couldn’t risk losing you just because of his stupid feelings.
“There! All done!” Y/N smiles at Bucky and Steve finds himself yearning for her to smile at him like that every-fucking-time. Bucky thanks her and winks at her that made Steve’s insides boil with something he didn’t have an idea about. Y/N picks the box up before walking over to Tony who was standing beside Steve. Right before she gets in front of Tony, she slips and before she knew it, her face was falling down the floor- only to be stopped mid-air as firm arms found their way to her waist and her shoulders.
She was hoisted up and was met with Steve’s face just inches away from hers. “I got you.” Steve smiles.
Y/N coughed and pulled herself away, making Steve’s smile flutter ever so slightly. “Umm, thanks. I gotta get back to work.” She smiles at him before turning towards Tony and starting a topic about their current topic about using vibranium as something he didn’t have an idea about. He sighed in disappointment as he realized how he managed to fuck up his friendship with her by trying to preserve it. How does that even happen to someone?
“Is it just me or does the supersoldier serum affect the brain badly?” Sam pipes up after Y/N leaves the room to go back to the lab. Bucky elbows his ribs in response while Tony laughs at Sam’s words.
“It’s just Steve who’s being an idiot. Don’t drag me into his lack of brain cells” Bucky muttered under his breath. Tony pats Steve on his shoulder before leaning up to his ear to whisper something.
“Just friends, huh?”
Steve was nervous that you would bail on your weekly movie nights with him in his room where the two of you will watch movies that he missed while he was frozen. His nerves were getting the best of him until you knocked on his door only to greet him with a huge smile and arms full of snacks that were almost covering your face. “Movie night?” Steve swore that your giddy voice sounded like angels singing.
Steve felt his heart flutter at the sight before shaking his head back to reality and easily grabbing the snacks out of your arms and setting it down on the foot of his bed. You skipped over to the bed and plopped yourself on it before looking at Steve with a raised eyebrow.
“So… What are we watching tonight?” The anticipation in your voice made Steve smile before scratching the back of his neck.
“Can we continue the game of thrones?” He asks and Y/N thought that him blushing was the cutest thing in the world so she couldn’t do anything but to nod. I mean, how could anyone say no to that face?
You opened up a bag of chips while Steve tinkered with the tv attached to the wall in front of the bed. As the opening song started playing, Steve hopped on the bed beside you, grabbing the bowl of popcorn before laying on his back beside you and scooched closer to you. You smiled at that and laid your head softly on his shoulder which he seemed to like because he chuckled before stealing a piece of chip in your bag. You playfully glared at him as he only booped your nose in return, laughing when some powder from the chips were left on the tip of your nose. He leaned closer to your face, pausing for a while before blowing the powder residues on your nose. You felt your heart skip for a moment before turning back to the tv as the show continued to play.
The room was dark with only the tv being the source of light but it’s enough for you to watch Steve’s every reaction to the show that you’ve already watched yet willing to rewatch it as long as it was with Steve. He was in one of the earlier episodes where Danaerys was betrothed to Khal Drogo. The tv was playing the scene where Danaerys’ handmaid was teaching her how to make love to Drogo. Your body warmed up at the scene, remembering how graphic this series can be and turned slowly to see Steve’s reaction. You expected him to be fidgety and awkward but he seemed to be really focused at the tv screen so you turned your head back towards the screen and continued to watch.
Steve was trying his best to not have a panic attack right then and there. The scene was making him flustered and the effects of it were going straight to his crotch. He saw you move your head to watch his reaction but he did his best to act nonchalant and he was so relieved when you looked away from him that he almost cried. He thanked all the gods when the scene ended but his eyes widened when the screen showed Khal Drogo entering the tent butt naked and heading straight to Danaerys. When the man started ramming into her, Steve knew that he was fucked.
Y/N nostrils flared in embarrassment as she watched the screen as it showed a very erotic scene. She turned her head sneakily to see Steve’s reaction once again but was surprised to see that he was already looking at her, their faces just an inch apart.
She looked at Steve’s eyes and was shocked to see that they were darker than usual, pupils dilated and his breathing erratic. She stared at him for a brief second before asking if he’s okay, genuinely concerned for the supersoldier.
“Steve, are you ok—” Y/N thought that she could’ve died right then and there when Steve closed the space between their lips and kissed her hungrily. Steve’s lips were so soft against her and when he plunged his tongue into her mouth, she almost came right then and there. This was how she’s deeply, madly, and hopelessly in love with the man.
Steve couldn’t explain the feeling he felt when she kissed him back. He could almost hear the wedding bells ringing when she moved her hands to caress both sides of his face. He placed the bowl of popcorn beside her head before placing his hands on her waist, easily manipulating her body so he was on top of her as he continued to kiss her lips like a starved animal.
Steve felt her hands traveling up to his hair as she arched her back. Steve’s eyes went to the back of his head when she felt her grinding against his hard-on and he was thankful that her mouth was on his so she was able to swallow his moans. He responded by grinding his hips down against hers, earning a tug on his hair and a whine from her lips that made his eyes snap open in shock. Shit.
Steve stumbled as he quickly pulled away from her, knocking the popcorn by her head off the bed and making popcorn scatter all over the floor. “Shit” Steve looks at the mess on the floor and back to you, lips plumper after his assault. “Shit” he says again. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers. “Shit, Y/N. I’m so sorry! I didn’t—” He cuts himself by cursing at himself again and again.
Y/N pushes the hurt she’s feeling at the moment. What was he about to say? That he didn’t mean any of it to happen?
She places a hand on Steve’s left cheek and it seemed to immediately calm him down. “Breathe, Steve. It’s okay. Everything’s fine.” You smile at him which he returns sadly.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean for that to happen, I was just… I don’t know what got into me.” Steve stuttered, almost crying. That’s not how he wanted it to come out.
Y/N looks at Steve with a faux smile. Ouch. Saw that one coming but it still hurt like a motherfu—
“I shouldn’t have done that.” Steve shakes his head.
Y/N gives Steve an understanding nod. And here I thought things couldn’t get uglier.
“I mean… I don’t want to ruin what we have. Our friendship, I mean. I love being friends with you and I love what we have and I don’t want to ruin that because of me.” Steve tries to explain. Keyword: tries. “I mean you’re obviously the most gorgeous person in the world but I don't want to lose what we have just because of a kiss or a ruined relationship, do you get what I’m saying?” Steve looks at you hopefully. Clearly, he’s not very good at explaining things but you nod nonetheless.
“I totally understand. I mean… I’ll be more than fine to try things out with you but I understand where you’re getting from. I wouldn’t want to lose what we have either. I guess being friends is the best idea for you.” Steve flinches at your words. Your tone was sweet but your words were hurting him and it’s his own fault too so that just frustrated him even more.
“How about we forget about what just happened and stay as good friends, deal?” Y/N gives him a friendly smile. How the hell is he supposed to just forget about what happened. That was easily the best thing that’s happened in his life and he drove the woman he loves the most to tell him to just forget about it.
“Deal.” Steve smiles. I am a fucking idiot. I managed to put myself in the ‘friendzone’.
Y/N nods and starts to head for the door before looking over her shoulder towards Steve.
“Goodnight, Steve.” And then she was gone.
Steve’s smile fell and he turned around to study the mess left behind. Popcorn all over the floor, game of thrones playing on the screen, and a very hard cock under his pants.
Fuck
That was it for Steve. He knew he fucked everything up when he barely saw you and talked to you anymore. When you no longer made him the usual iced chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles that you always made him, it broke his heart. But what really broke his heart is when you started skipping out on your movie nights with him. He’s beginning to think that you’re spending extra hours in the lab with Tony just to avoid him and it did horrible things to his heart. Y/N cursed at the turn of events. She hated how the movie night incident turned out but she was ready to make things go back to normal but of course, Tony decided to overload her with work. She didn’t blame him though. They were at the peak of their research and they’re almost done with it and Tony wouldn’t stop until they finished. Y/N stayed to help her mentor/boss until they got to finish the work. She couldn’t deny the fact that she too is excited about the outcome of the research so she kept herself busy.
She saw how it affected Steve though. She saw how his face would light up every time he would catch her taking quick snacks in the kitchen but she would watch that handsome smile disappear from his face when she waved at him to say goodbye and run back to the lab just to continue on her work. She knew that Steve being Steve, he would blame himself for it so she made a little bit of time to explain how things are currently hectic in the lab.
Steve felt a little bit of weight lifted from his shoulders when she approached him after training one afternoon. She handed him his shield as she talked about a few changes and improvements she did here and there. He was so happy that she was finally talking to him again that he couldn’t help but just admire the way her lips moved and her eyes looked at him with a glint of excitement as she talked about his shield.
“Steve?” Her smooth voice brought him back to reality and he smiled at her adoringly, patting her shoulder awkwardly before thanking her for the improvements she did on his shield. “I just want to point out that I’m not avoiding you.” Y/N bit her upper lip as she looked at Steve shyly. Steve thought that she could never be more adorable than this.
“Tony and I are working on this research and we’re both really working our asses off. We’re so hellbent on finishing the research so we’re always working on it over time. I just… I don’t want you to think that I’m avoiding you.” She finished with a breath.
Steve looked down at her, processing her words before breaking off into a grin. He leaned down to give her a hug which she gladly returned before pulling away. Steve cursed at himself for immediately missing the way she felt against him.
Steve lets out a loud sigh before smiling at her. “Thank, god. I thought I scared you away.”
“Never” she grinned before looking down at her wristwatch. “Well, I gotta head back to the lab” she gives him a smile before offering him a handshake, saying “Friends?”
Steve bit the insides of his cheeks as he remembered the position he put himself in.
He gripped her small hand with his big ones before nodding. “Friends.”
Y/N thought that the day she and Tony get to finish their research would never come but here’s Tony now, planning a party for the achievement. He’s also telling you something about introducing and showing you off to an old friend of his that he invited. Max Eisenhardt, you heard Tony say. He was a fellow scientist who specialized in magnets and Tony can’t wait to show him your research about vibranium.
Steve finds Y/N in the kitchen a few hours before the party starts, making her famous iced chocolate milk. “Do my eyes deceive me or is that my most favorite chocolate drink in the world?” Steve walks over to her, placing his elbows on top of her head before placing his chin on them. “Congratulations on finishing the research, Y/N. I’m really proud of you.” He sincerely says and he watches her duck under his arms and looks at him with a playful smile. “Thank you, Steve.” She makes a move to fix her hair before looking back at the glass. “And yes. This is your favorite drink” she winks at him.
“Well, not to be presumptuous or anything but… is it for me?” Steve bites his bottom lip as she pretends to think about it before nodding. “Of course, it is! It’s been so long since I made you one so I figured I’ll make you one before the party starts.” She grins at him before handing him the glass which he gleefully takes before drinking it, not minding the whipped cream that stained his nose and his lips.
Steve’s heart leaps in joy when he hears her laugh at him before handing him a towel. “Clean yourself up, captain. I’ll see you later at the party.” She waves at him before leaving the kitchen. Steve would’ve preferred it if she was the one wiping his face but he settled with cleaning his face on his own.
You settled on wearing black slacks, a white button-down shirt, and a pair of black flats. Tony mentioned something about introducing you to his scientist friends so you figured that a formal attire would suffice. You were barely starting on fixing your hair when Tony barged in. He took a quick look at you before smirking and dragging you out of your room and into the elevator.
“What the hell, Mr. Stark. I wasn’t done—”
“You already look amazing. Cap will definitely lose it.” Tony smirks at you and before you could even say something, the elevator door opens. He gently pushes you out of the elevator before pulling you towards a middle-aged man who smiled at you immediately when he saw Tony dragging you towards him.
“That’s Max Eisenhardt” Tony whispers to your ear before pushing you towards the guy. You stopped yourself from falling onto Max and he was nice enough to steady you by placing both of his hands on your arms. “You okay?” He gently spoke with an accent you couldn’t quite name.
Y/N cursed at Tony in her mind for putting her in this situation. She manages to give the man a smile before nodding flusteredly. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Max. I’m Y/N. Mr. Stark’s lab assistant.” Y/N offered a hand for him to shake but he quickly shook his head.
“No need for formalities. Call me Erik or Magneto.” He reached for your outstretched hand and pulled on it until you fell onto his chest. He wrapped his arms around you before chuckling and pulling away. You gave him an awkward smile before nodding and sneakily walking away when he and Tony started talking about magnets and whatnot.
Steve’s blood boiled when he watched the interaction between one of Tony’s friends who calls himself Magneto and Y/N. The way he shamelessly grabbed you and flirted with you made Steve think of horrible things on how to dismantle a man’s arm. He hated this feeling. He was so sure that he’s jealous. He knows that he’s jealous.
Tony somehow managed to push you towards Magnet—or was it Magneto? Max? Erik?— every time he would find you hiding from the guy and you managed to sneak away every time as well. He seemed like a really nice man but he could learn a thing or two about taking hints. She politely rejected him five times already and he still hasn’t given up yet. Y/N just have another guy in her mind and possibly her heart so she couldn’t be bothered by any other person. She’s got eyes on Steve and him alone.
Steve felt so proud and giddy whenever you would politely dismiss this Magneto guy’s advances on you. He would watch as you would shake your head with a smile before leaving the guy. He enjoyed watching the guy get rejected over and over again but at the same time, he hated seeing you so uncomfortable.
Steve couldn’t do anything but watch as Tony introduced you to a bunch of other threats scientists. He was doing his best to remain calm but when he saw you smiling and getting cozy with one of the younger scientists, he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t do anything and he didn’t have the right to be jealous so what the hell would he do? He also couldn’t just stay and watch as another guy wins her heart.
Steve settled on ditching the party.
“Y/N, is that you?” A familiar yet strange voice spoke up from behind her as she was ducking behind a wall, avoiding a certain scientist.
Y/N felt like the angels above blessed her when she saw a familiar face when she turned to look at where the voice came from. “Cisco?! Is that really you?” The smaller man with long hair nodded while grinning at her. He spread his arms to his sides before saying, “The one and only!”
Y/N couldn’t help but squeal and jump on her heels as she jumped into his arms, hugging him as tightly as she could. She knew Cisco from freshman year in college up until they got their own jobs in very well known industries. “Oh my god, it’s been so long!”
The two continued to talk and catch up with each other’s lives until a point where Cisco bid his friend farewell saying something about needing to be home for his family.
Y/N tries to look for the one person she wants to be with but fails to see his face at the party so she decides to look for him at the compound before a certain Magnet named scientist comes for her again.
“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Y/N groans as she closes Steve’s door. She frowned at him before asking, “Why’d you leave the party?”
Steve closed his eyes before letting out an exasperated sigh. “The atmosphere was becoming a little too much for me” he gives her a cheeky smile, patting the spot beside him on the bed. Y/N happily plops herself down beside him before nodding. “Yeah. Tony’s really good at being too much with his parties. Also, I think his friend got mad at me”
Steve frowned at that. “Magneto?” his face reddens when he sees her watching him, probably wondering how he knew the scientist. She’s probably thinking how much of a creep I am and how I was watching her the whole time.
Much to Steve’s relief, she chuckles under her breath before shaking her head. “So that’s his name! I understand why he got so annoyed now!” Y/N laughs and Steve just watches her with a smile on his face.
“Why? What happened?” Steve asks, praying to god that no asshole tried to hurt you. “I kept calling him Magnet instead of Magneto...” Y/N watches Steve as he lets out a laugh, his eyes closing, and little wrinkles forming at the sides of his eyes. Why is he so beautiful?
“Tony seemed determined to push that guy to me though…” Y/N stares off into the distance and Steve managed to get all the confidence he could get to ask. “Seems like he was trying to set you up with a lot of his scientist friends.” he chuckles but it was so dry, he was scared that she might see how annoyed he was with the idea.
Y/N tilts her head and looks at him with furrowed eyebrows and at that moment, Steve felt his heartache for not having the guts to just ask the woman in front of her out. How can she manage to make his heart feel like this every single time?
“What do you mean? Magneto’s the only guy he’s setting me up with” Y/N’s voice cuts Steve's internal battle with himself.
“What about that guy with the long hair… I think his name was Cisco?” Steve pretends to not know his name but in all honesty, he’d done every research on the guy as soon as he got to his room.
“Oh! Cisco!” Y/N’s face lights up at the mention of her friend’s name and Steve felt his heart break a little at her excitement. “He’s an old friend from college. He’s a very nice guy.” Y/N starts and Steve prepares himself for the heartbreak that’s inevitable.
“We were both freshmen and I used to get bullied by this group of guys. You would think that being in college would stop all the stereotypes and all that but no. These guys would always torment me just because they can but then Cisco, I didn’t know him yet, stood up for me. Even though he was much smaller than the guys and is completely outnumbered, he still fought them and instead of me being bullied, it was us two getting all the torment. It was the start of a beautiful friendship.” Y/N laughs at the end of her story, remembering the event in her mind.
Steve’s blood boiled at the thought of people bullying you. If there is anything that he hates the most, it was bullies. As much as he tried to hate this Cisco friend of yours, he genuinely sounds like a nice guy. Kind of reminds him of himself.
“I can’t believe how we both turned out to be. We’re both scientists now but it looks like he’s doing much better than I am.” Y/N looks down and shakes her head with a smile.
“What do you mean? If you ask me, I think you’re doing a hell of a job!” Steve’s voice cracks a little and he couldn’t help but blush as Y/N looks up at him with a smirk.
“I know. I’m working for Tony Stark, for goodness sake. It’s just Cisco is living the complete package of adulthood. Being married, having kids, and all that.” Y/N sighs, standing up from the bed before moving towards the door.
Oh… Oh!
Steve stood up from the bed as fast as he could, walking towards her with determination.
“Woah, Steve. I’m just going to get some snacks—” Y/N stops talking as Steve pulls out a small velvet box from his slacks and hands it to her.
“I uhh… Congratulations on the research, Y/N. I’m really proud of you.” he guides her hands to open the box, revealing a vintage necklace with a scarlet gemstone.
“Steve… You honestly didn’t have to.” Y/N admires the necklace before running her fingers against the red stone. Steve takes the necklace and moves to stand behind her. “May I?” He asks her to which she quickly nodded.
Steve stared at Y/N and admired how she managed to look ethereal with or without the necklace. “You know… I bought that necklace for you a few months after I met you.” This was it. Steve couldn’t keep his feelings from her anymore. He might regret it later but at least he got to tell her how he really feels.
“You did?” Y/N whispers under her breath as she looks up at Steve when he tilts her chin up with his fingers.
“When you were tasked to babysit me, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About how you were so understanding. The way you were so patient with me. The way your eyes lit up each time you would tell stories about something you’re passionate about.” Steve gulps before continuing, “I knew I was fucked when you laughed at one of my lame jokes. I remember how angelic your voice sounded and how everything seemed to disappear and all I could see was your face.”
Y/N stared at Steve with hooded eyes. It felt like she was in a dream. She watched how his eyes glossed and watched him breathe through his lips before he leaned closer to her, lips barely touching.
“What about being friends?” Y/N watches him as he bites his bottom lip.
“Fuck being friends” he breaks the distance and kisses her with determination. One of his hands finds its way to her back while the other cradles her face, pulling her closer to him as if he didn’t want any space between them.
Y/N’s hands find their way towards the back of his neck, pulling him closer with the same determination. They didn’t pull away from each other until they needed to breathe.
Steve goes back in for another kiss, guiding her back to the bed and positioning himself on top of her.
Their night was just getting started and wouldn’t end any time soon.
Steve stared at you while you peacefully slept beside him. You looked otherworldly wearing nothing but the necklace he gave to you, rays of sunshine hitting parts of your skin, and his blanket laying on top of your body. He decided then and there that he will always want to wake up to this view. He wants to wake up every day with you beside him. He smiled at the idea.
His cheeks tinted red when he remembered how you looked on top of him and how you looked under him. How you became breathless because of him and how your body squirmed under his touch. Just the thought of you makes his cock spring back to life. It doesn’t help that you’re currently staring at him with a small smile and tired eyes.
“You’re awake!” Steve breathes out, eyes widening a little.
“Good morning to you too” Y/N chuckles at Steve's reaction before turning to look at the ceiling.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Steve leans down to kiss your lips, then your nose, and then your forehead. You smile up at him before kissing his lips.
“So we’re not friends anymore?” Y/N raises an eyebrow at him before giving him a cheeky smile.
“I want to do this the right way.” Steve watches Y/N tilt her head in confusion.
“Let me take you out on a date,” Steve asks.
“I think you got your sequence a bit mixed up, Steve.” Y/N grins and Steve retorts with showering her face with kisses making her giggle under him.
“Okay! Okay! I’ll go on a date with you on one condition.” Y/N straightens up before staring at him seriously.
“Anything” Steve responds immediately.
“I’ll go on a date with you if you agree to become my boyfriend” Y/N gives him a toothy smile.
“I will gladly be your boyfriend… I guess I’m not the only one who got the sequence of dating all messed up, huh?” Steve teases her and she just laughs in return, taking Steve’s dress shirt from the floor and putting it on. It was big on her so it fell just above her knees and she rolled the huge sleeves up to her forearms.
Steve admires her in his clothes. Another view that he would always want to see. He stands from the bed only to pull her body on top of him as he lays back on the bed.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go.” Steve’s voice was deep and sincere and he loved how her body responded to his voice.
“I’ll only leave you when you no longer want me but I’ll still be there to watch over you. I’ll always be there when you need me.” Steve turned her body around so now they were chest to chest.
“I don’t think that’s possible.” Y/N watches Steve as he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
“I will never not want you. Besides, I got it bad for you just as you got it bad for me.” Y/N leans her face closer to his, pressing her forehead against his.
“How do you know that?” Steve smiles as he looks at her lips before looking back at her eyes.
“Because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go as well.” Y/N grins before pressing a kiss on his lips and him immediately responding to the kiss by pulling her body closer to his. A kiss that sealed their relationship because they were no longer just friends.
#steve rogers fluff#steve rogers smut#Steve Rogers#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers oneshot#captain america#captain america imagine#captain america fluff#captain america smut#captain america x reader#friends to lovers
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‘KIWI’ Part 2.
Pairing: Harry Styles x female reader.
Synopsis: You see Harry again. he’s still smitten and you’re horny.
Word count: 8.1K
Warnings: swearing, drinking, drugs (cocaine; mentioned in some detail), and SMUT (unprotected! Wrap it up pls), and slight pain kink. 18+
A/N: Hello! I hope you’re doing good :) here’s part two!!! Yay!! Thank you to those who liked part one. I truly am having so much fun writing this. Sorry it took me 80000 years to post this, I took a break! But it’s here and I’m so happy. Also, this is my first time writing smut! So please be nice but let me know what you think. Again, please keep in mind that this is PURE FICTION and is in no way an accurate dipiction of Harry Styles! It’s just for entertainment purposes. Also! For the purpose of the story, please pretend kiwi was not part of HS1 and instead part of his third (unwritten) album :) With that being said, i hope you love this part as much as I do xoxo
PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU LIKE IT :)
🥝 Outfits mentioned in this part 🥝
Words underlined are links !
PART 1
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September 12th 2020~
It’s nine days since Harry had met you, nine long days. For him the days since have been filled with long studio hours and sleepless nights. Every night he’d come home and wonder when he’d get the chance to meet you again, he’d think about what you were doing and if you were thinking about him as much as he’d been thinking about you. Surely you hadn’t, he thought. If you had been interested you would have given him your phone number, like all the other girls had jumped at the chance to do. He tried to stay humble, but he wasn’t oblivious to the effect he had on women. It was obvious, atleast it always had been before. They all threw themselves at him, but you didn’t. You didn’t even give him a proper excuse to why he couldn’t have your number. You showed him very little interest and yet, here he was completely infatuated after one simple meeting. Sure, meeting you gave him enough inspiration to write songs which was initially the reason he went to that party. But it only left him wanting to do whatever he could to get the chance to see you again.
The days since the party have been rather stress filled for you on the other hand. With London fashion week coming up in less than a week you had so much work to do. You had a fashion show on the seventeenth to prepare for and dozens of custom outfits for various celebrities to finalize. It was both exhausting and exhilarating. You had thought about Harry, he’d pop up in your head whenever a song of his would play in the office or in the coffee shop you went to almost everyday. You felt the spark when you two had met, of course you did. He was incredibly attractive, charming, and kind but you didn’t have time to be dating a celebrity of his stature. You have a buisness to run and the last thing you need a bunch of insanely nosey fans bullying you along with the heartbreak of the inevitable break up.
Harry was sitting in the studio with Mitch, Sarah, and Charlotte recording. The three of his band mates were in the booth recording their respective parts of a song Harry had written a few months back called “30,000 miles” while Harry was sat on one of the black leather couches just outside the booth attempting to write. Although he’s been able to write a lot about you, he’s only gotten one song even remotely close to being finished. Most of what’s he’s writin since meeting you has come out more like journal entries about how your eyes made him quiver and how when you hugged him he felt like your touch was exactly what he’d been missing thus far. It all sounded like a horny fourteen year old, Harry thought. He needed to see you again for his feelings to repourpose themselves into more coherent emotions. Harry had been wracking his brain on how to make that happen since the two of you met, and the only thing he could think of was to ask Jeff. The only problem with that, however, was that Jeff would more than likely tell you and make Harry look desperate. And even though he was bordering on desperate, he certainly didn’t want you to know that.
Harry was lost in thought (about you of course) when Mitch came out of the booth and sat in the dark blue velvet armchair directly across from Harry. “Still having trouble dude?” He asked sympathetically bringing Harry out of his little trance. Harry sighed and moved his gaze away from the small leather bound notebook he was writing in to focus on his friend.
“S’ just hard man. S’neva been this hard before.” Harry said as he closed the book.
Mitch nodded and mumbled “it’s probably because you’ve never been single while tryna write”. Harry put his palms over his face and let out deep chuckle.
“Fuck, you’ve go’ a good point” he agreed as he sat lower into the couch.
“Are you interested in anyone at all right now? I mean I don’t think I’ve seen ya single for this long in forever” Mitch pointed out as he reached for his water bottle from beside the sound board. Harry sighed deeply, ran his right hand through his curls and gave Mitch a little pout.
“Who is she dude?” Mitch asks with after letting out a loud laugh at his friend being overly dramatic.
“Y’ remember y/n? The designer fo’ KIWI?” Harry responds, leaning forward and rests his left palm under his chin.
“Fuckin hell H. Wasn’t that night the first time you met her?” Mitch says with a grin, obviously teasing Harry.
“I know, I know. S’fuckin ridiculous but I can’ stop thinking about her” Harry replied as he slouched himself back into the couch shoved his black raybans off the top of his head so they were sitting on his nose, covering his embassment.
September 13th 2020~
Today is Sunday, which means it’s Harry’s day off. He didn’t really know what to do with the day but he was still extremely happy to have time to relax and try (and fail) to not worry about everything. He woke up at ten this morning, actually allowing himself to sleep in to make up for the various all nighters he had been pulling throughout the last week. He dreamt of you but not in the way he’d want, not one of those erotic sex dreams where he could make all his needs come true. No. In his dream you were with someone else, and he kept trying to talk to you but you couldn’t hear him or you were simply ignoring him. Either way it didn’t feel good but for some ungodly reason he’d still woken up with a raging boner. “Fuckin ‘ell even the thought of her wit’ someone else gets me off” he grumbled with a groan in frustration as he rolled out of bed.
As Harry was making himself breakfast, chopping yellow grape tomatoes on the large oak cutting board that sat on the marble counter next to the stove, he heard his phone ring. He looked around to try and spot where the ringing was coming from as he’d forgotten where he’d put it. He spotted it on the island behind him and to his left. He sprinted over to it and quickly answered with his left hand, wiping the tomato juice off the fingers on his right hand off on his blue sweatpants. “Harry here” he said realizing he hadn’t checked to see who it was before answering.
“Harry! I’ve got great news for you mate” Mitch’s deep American accent rang through the phone.
“Wha’ is the good news Mitch?” Harry asked as he sat at one of the light blue quilted stools that sat at the island, suddenly feeling slightly anxious.
“I’ve just found out KIWI is doing a show for London fashion week, it’s this Thursday” Harry could practically hear the grin on Mitch’s face through his voice. A fashion show? How could he get an invite four days before the show? Would he even get the chance to see her if he did? Won’t she be busy? Won’t she think he’s weird for going? Harry’s mind was filled with questions he knew Mitch wouldn’t have the answers to.
“Dude?” Mitch’s voice snapped Harry out of his panicked thoughts.
“Gotta go man, thanks for telling me” Harry mumbled before hanging up quickly.
After a few hours of debating with himself and trying tirelessly to forget about the idea all together, Harry found himself sat at his dining table with his phone open to Jeff’s contact. He stared down at the phone resting against the mahogany wood dining table trying to convince himself this was a bad idea. However, his efforts were in vain in the end. He glanced at the time in the right hand corner and it showed 12:41AM. He pressed the call button so quickly he himself even doubted if he’d done it at all, but evidently the calling screen came up and he brought it to his ear. Letting out a huge sigh at the forth ring, figering Jeff wouldn’t even pick up at this time of night. “Hello?” Harry almost dropped the phone when he’d heard Jeff’s voice on the other end.
“Um h-hello, Jeff s’ Harry” he stuttered slightly, still not really believing he was going through with this.
“Yeah H, I know. What’s up?” Jeff chuckled loudly.
“Oh umm so you uh know y/n right?” Harry asked trying not to seem to eager.
Again, Jeff laughed a bit before saying “you like her don’t you?”. Harry groaned internally at his friends ability to gudge his feelings based on his voice alone.
“Doesn’ matter, was jus’ callin’ to see if you could get meh a seat at the KIWI show on Thursday” Harry said as more of a statement rather than a question, feeling his confidence peak its head again.
“H, that’s in four days” Jeff responded without hesitation.
“Yeh I know, I jus’ ave’ to be there alrigh’?” Harry asked as politely as he could without making it obvious he was trying desperately to avoid any further questioning.
“Alright, I’ll see what I can do”.
September 14th 2020~
Today was incredibly busy for you. There were only three days till your show and you still had so much to do to make sure it would be perfect. You were currently at the office that you rent out for KIWI. The space is nice, modern and open with a slightly acclectic feel to match your taste. There were 3 separated offices, the smallest was for your assistant Grace, another for the head of public relations for the company who’s name is Gretchen, and the largest one at the end of the hall was yours. You decorated nicely, but kept it minimal as to not cause to many distractions. You only came in when there was issues you couldn’t deal with from home or when you just felt like getting out of the house to work. You liked to keep your company small, only hiring people who you really trust for jobs you couldn’t handle yourself. Even though KIWI is incredibly successful, you were generally able to manage it with little help.
At 7:13AM you arrived, greeting Grace and heading straight to your private office telling her to follow you. Once sat in your large brown leather chair Grace started giving you the rundown of who’s called, what there is to do, shipments, etc. “Jeff Azoff called early this morning, he left a voicemail asking for your availability. I told him to call back at 11 just before you go out for lunch as that is your earliest availability today” she relayed as she stood nervously (she was pretty much always nervous, even though she’d been working for you for over two years).
“Okay, did he mention what it was about?” You asked wondering what he could possibly need that he wouldn’t just call your cell.
“No, but he did say it’s urgent” Grace responded with a small nod.
At a quarter to eleven your desk phone rang, you picked up at the first ring already sitting right next to it typing out an email on your laptop. “Mr. Azoff on line 2” Grace said on the other side.
“Great, thanks Grace” you responded before hanging up and switching to line two. “Hey Jeff” you said as you closed your laptop.
“Hi! How’s it going y/n, haven’t talked since the party” he asked seeming quite cheery.
“I’m good Jeff, why are you calling through KIWI? Why not just call my cell?” You questioned rather confused.
“Ah because you told me not to call your cell for matters concerning KIWI-” he said as if it was obvious.
“Right, but you you’ve only ever called regarding KIWI to get pieces for one of your clients and you usually go through Gretchen” you cut him off, still extremely confused.
He chuckled before saying “Well If you’d stop cutting me off I’d tell you why I’m calling. I need a front row seat for your show on Thursday”. Well, that was certainly not what you thought he’d say. He’s never asked for a seat at one of your shows, let alone a front row three days before it happens.
“What? Are you insane? It’s in three days. Why on earth would you need a front row seat?” You asked, now even more confused.
“It’s not for me, it’s for Harry. C’mon I know you can bump someone back a bit, it’ll be good publicity having him there” Jeff said calmly. You had to do a bit of a double take when he mentioned Harry’s name, why would Jeff need him to be there this last minute? He had surely already been invited to the Gucci show on the same day. You sighed
“I don’t know, the people I put in front row deserve to be there. Any of them would take it as an insult to be put in second row”. You heard hum quietly on the other side of the phone
“y/n if you put Harry upfront it’ll be good for KIWI, you know I’m right” he continued. You let out a frustrated huff, you knew he was right. The paps would have a field day with him missing the Gucci show to come to yours, but you already had so much to deal with.
“Was this your idea or his?” You asked, genuinely curious. “He asked me to, but I think it’s an incredible idea for both of you” he said confidently.
“Fine, call Grace to set up the details. I’ll have an outfit sent to Harry by Wednesday morning just email me his measurements. He can’t be showing up to my show in Gucci” you replied sternly, giving in.
Harry was at the studio when Jeff called him. He was going over some adjustments for ‘30,000 miles’ with Kid Harpoon when his phone rang. “Jeff! Any news?” He said hopefully after picking up as soon as he was Jeff’s contact.
Jeff chuckled at the boys eagerness “Mhm you’re lucky I’m so good at convincing people, you’ve got a front row seat at the KIWI fashion show this Thursday” he said proudly.
Harry stood out of the leather rolling chair instantly and yelled “Wooooo!” Slightly starting Kid and causing Jeff to laugh through the phone.
“I’m glad I could get it for ya H. They are sending over an outfit for you to wear and I’ll have a car at your place on Thursday at 6PM sharp to pick you up.” Harry smiled widely, taking in the information as he sat back down.
“Thank ya’ Jeff, y’ the best manager eva’”
September 17th 2020~
Today is the big day. Of course it’s not your first runway show but the nerves never lessen, every time it gets more intense and nerve-racking. The cloths you design are your heart and soul, your blood sweat and tears, your everything. This makes showing them off to critics and the entire world terrifying but exciting. Not to mention you’ve decided to walk as the last model for the finale, which makes the whole thing even scarier as you’ve never really walked a runway as a model.
For some reason the knowledge that Harry was going to be front row made you all the more anxious and you hated it. No man has ever made you nervous at your own damn fashion show, it’s rediculous. “I don’t even like him” you said aloud to yourself as you were in the car on the way to the venue. Luckily by now your driver knows well enough to keep his mouth shut when you talk to yourself.
Once you arrived at the venue it was half past two. You always show up hours before the show to help set up, get all the outfits in place for the respective models and make sure everything is absolutely perfect. You’d spent months designing the way you wanted the show to look, clothing aside. The catwalk is all white, ensuring that all the colors included in the collection pop as they were meant to, especially once photographed. Above the runway are large fixtures that are meant to look like clouds, giving the whole collection an airy out-of-this-world feel. Which is exactly what you had planned when designing it.
Backstage was hectic and stressful, as it always was. The models all arrived at three, giving everyone enough time to get hair and makeup done in time for the show. The makeup and hair you had chosen for this collection was simple, yet bold. Nothing to extreme to not take away from the clothes.
Harry was incredibly excited for the show, more excited than he had been for a fashion show since the first one he attended. He was there to see you, but he was also elated to get to see the collection. He’s never been disappointed by the pieces you’d designed. Even before his newfound crush on you. You were exceedingly talented and fantastic at what you do, he’s known that since long before he met you. The suit you’d sent for him was breathtaking to say the least. He absolutely adored it. It was a black suit, with gold lining and silver flower embroidery all along the jacket. It made him feel like a billion dollars.
Harry arrived just before the show started, not to seem to eager in case you came to survey the venue before it started. He found the seat with his name on it and grinned widely as he sat. His seat was right at the end of the runway where the models would turn before walking back. It was the ideal spot really, and it gave him butterflies thinking that you gave him the best spot. The venue was nothing like he’d ever seen before and he was sure you had something to do with that also, because it was breathtaking.
Time went by like a blink of the eye for you, what seemed like twenty minutes turned out to be an hour. You were ushered to the hair and makeup chair to prepare for the finale. For some reason all your nerves had dissipated, completely vanished into thin air as you sat and listened to the makeup artist compliment you on how incredible everything looked.
After forty minutes in the hair and makeup chair you were being dressed. You had chosen one of the only gowns in the collection for the finale, wanting to go out on a memorable note (even though you considered every piece in the collection to be memorable). The gown was a floor length fully hand embroidered black and gold gown. Each embroidery was done by you. It had long sleeves with the same detailing and it was sinched perfectly around your waist with a large solid gold plate. The gown was the piece that inspired the whole collection, taking almost six months to make. You were very proud of it and you felt incredibly sexy.
As your stylists were putting you in your black pumps, one of the coordinators came over and said “miss y/l/n is on in five”. You took a deep breath, attempting to mentally prepare yourself. You followed the coordinator towards the entrance to the catwalk. You felt eerily calm, you knew you should be freaking out but you weren’t. You felt incredible.
“3..2...1.. here comes y/n for the finale”
Harry was thoroughly enjoying the show, each item was completely perfect. Everything was cohesive but wildly different, anyone with working eyes could tell how much thought and attention to detail was put into everything. Even the styling was uniquely perfect, each model wore the pieces like they were made for them. Not a single thing looked out of place, everything belonged in a rabelious harmony and Harry was completely enveloped in it. The music stopped playing as the last model walked out, Harry looked around as another song started playing. Assuming this was the finale, Harry sat up straighter and grinned. Excited to see whatever you had planned. As the beat dropped in the song, all the models came walking out in two lines. One on the right and one on the left. Once the two front models came to the end of the catwalk they all stopped and slowly bowed their heads. Harry’s heart was beating so fast he thought he might actually have a heart attack. Then all of a sudden you walked around the corner and stepped onto the runway and Harry’s heart stopped completely. You were walking towards him like you had walked a million runways. You looked so powerful and sexy. The gown you wore was nothing short of breathtaking, a fine piece of art and the way it fit your body made all the blood rush towards his crotch.
As you reached the end of the catwalk you looked directly at Harry, who was sitting right night to the main camera. You gave him a quick knowing smirk, obviously seeing the pure shock on his face as you turned around and started walking back towards the entrance. God, you felt fucking incredible. Each model followed you one by one off the runway before the music stopped.
September 23rd 2020~
The last three days went by relatively fast for you. The show went exactly how you wanted it to and it was nothing short of perfection. All the press had been incredible and the critics were being positive which wasn’t always a given. There’s been a lot of buzz about the gown you wore, in fact, there’s word of the national art museum of London wanting to showcase it which is unbelievable. All your success has been skyrocketed, even from what it was at before. Having Harry at the show helped with the media buzz, they always went crazy when he was around but it did start rumours of the two of you dating. Especially after the pictures from the show were released and it was very obvious he was staring at you in such a way. You didn’t really care though, all publicity was good publicity.
It was Wednesday today, and you decided to work from home this week because you were still pretty exhausted from all the work you’d done in preparation for the show. Your day had been relitively slow, answering emails and drawing out some new designs for spring. You were sitting at your desk drawing out a coat design when your phone started ringing, you glanced at it and saw Glenne’s name pop up. You smiled lightly and picked up up.
“Hello?” You greeted her.
“Hey y/n! How are you?” She asked cheerily.
“I’m great G, just finishing some work. How are you?” You asked as you sat back in your chair.
“Great! So the reason I’m calling is because Jeff and I wanted to throw a party for you to celebrate the show. Obviously we need you here for that” she giggled, obviously excited.
“Aw of course I’ll come. What day is it?” You asked.
“It’s Friday night! It’ll be at the Hilton hotel, just give them your name. We’d like everyone to be there at nine if possible” she responded.
“Okay! I’ll be there at seven babe” you said as you stood up to look in your fridge, suddenly feeling hungry.
“Harry will be there” Glenne said knowingly, slightly drawing out the end of his name. You laughed as you shoved a slice of cheese into your mouth.
“And?” You asked.
She giggled again, “he’s been asking about you a lot lately, and we all saw him at your show. You two are obviously fucking” she said in a mocking tone.
“G! We are not. He’s just obsessed with me” you chuckled, rummaging through your fridge for more snacks.
“Oh stop, who isn’t? Plus you guys would be adorable together!” She responded loudly through the phone.
“G, he’s the relationship type and I’m so far from that, you know this” you said sternly.
“Y/N you don’t even know him, how do you know he’s the relationship type?” She asked giggling at your tendency to assume you know people immediately upon meeting them.
“I’ve heard his music, G. Anyways, I’ve got to go make something to eat before my stomach eats itself. I’ll see you Friday”.
September 25th 2020~
As soon as Jeff told Harry about the party they were throwing for you he was ecstatic, knowing he’d get a chance to actually speak to you. Since it was a celebration of you and KIWI, Harry decided to wear some of the pieces he owned that you designed. It took him about 30 minutes to decided on which of your designs he wanted to wear, hoping you would appreciate the gesture. Jeff had already assured Harry that he wouldn’t be the only one wearing KIWI at the party when he brought up the idea to him, which made Harry feel more comfortable. Eventually he decided to wear a two piece set you’d designed last season. It was Harry’s favourite. It was a long sleeve button up shirt and long perfectly fitted trousers, both made out of a beautiful sparkly blue fabric with a light contrast stitching. 
Upon arriving at the hotel Harry noticed that there were many cars parked out front and all down the street, way more than there had been at the last get together. He assumed it was because you would have invited more of your circle this time, as they were celebrating you. Harry made it up to the penthouse where the lady at the front desk had told him to go, and was greeted at the door by Jeff, quickly giving him a hug and ushering him into the large room. “Sorry I’m a little late, had some issues with m’ car” Harry apologized to Jeff with a small smile, both of them fully aware that he was indeed late because he takes so long to get ready.
“S’all good man, it’s just getting started” Jeff chuckled lowly as Harry followed him through the foyer and into the large open living room, where it seemed most of the party goers were. It was a pretty busy, around 80 people from what Harry could see. Through the crowd his eyes landed directly on you. You were talking to a small group of people, some of who Harry recognized. You were sitting on one of the big couches on the right side of the open space, you were slowly nodding while sipping from a glass of dark brown liquid. You were wearing a gold sparkly jumpsuit that hugged every inch of your torso in the most flattering way possible and flared at the from the knee down. Half of your wavy hair was effortlessly pinned back with a brown claw clip. You looked so beautiful, you stood out in the crowd of other beautiful people. Your energy and vibrancy completely overpowering the room.
As soon as Harry entered the living room with Jeff your attention was taken away from the group of friends around you. You immediately noticed that Harry was wearing one of your personal favourite designs, and you could tell he had spotted you aswell. As if he was looking for you, he smiled widely as you made eye contact. “Excuse me guys, I’m going to grab another drink” you smiled at the group before standing up and walking across the living room diagonally towards the open concept kitchen to the left of the living room. You purposefully glanced at Harry as you walked passed him with a cute innocent smile.
As soon as you entered the kitchen and bar area you felt someone behind you, you turned on your heel being met with Harry a few feet behind you. “Ello love” he greeted you with his deep English accent, “congratulations on the show, ‘t was incredible” he complimented with a genuine smile on his soft pink lips. You smiled back and slowly looked him up and down, observing his body in your design.
“Thank you, Harry. I’m glad you liked it. Lovely choice by the way” you said as you motioned towards his outfit with your hand.
“T’was hard too choose which one to wear if I’m ‘onest” he replied with a low chuckle as he stepped towards you a bit.
“You made the right choice, it’s one of my favourite designs I’ve done” you complimented as you leaned against the large marble counter, placing your almost empty drink on it “fits your body perfectly” you continued as you met your gaze with his again.
“It does doesn’t it?” He asked cheekily as he pulled at the top a bit with his ring clad hands. “Y’ look incredible, love the jumpsuit” he flattered as he moved about a foot closer, leaving only a few inches between the two of you.
You smirked “so charming” you replied as you gently touched his cheek while holding strong eye contact. You could feel his heart beating against your arm. You stared at each other for a few more seconds, almost as if you were having a conversation solely through eye contact.
“You need a drink” you smiled as you let your hand fall from his face and you spinned around as you made your way over to the bar.
Harry was completely stunned as he watched you walk over to the large bar, quickly grabbing all the ingredients for whatever drink you had decided he should drink. Being so close to you only moments before made his mind blur and his heart race. How could you just walk away when it seemed as if you were about to kiss him? Most people would jump at the chance. But he assumes most people would also jump at the chance to kiss you, he certainly would. He was taken out of his thoughts by your sweet voice. “Harry” you called for him from the bar, his name sounding like heaven coming out of your mouth like that.
“What’d ya make me love?” He asked as he walked over to you. You held out a glass filled with dark brown liquid and a single large ice cube in it.
“A Manhattan, it’s my favourite” you blinked sweetly at him, the sides of your mouth tugging up at the sides as he grabbed it mimicking your smile before taking a sip and making a face as though he’d just taken a shot. Your smile grew.
“S’very strong love, but good” he assured you.
“Mmm what’s the point of a drink if it’s not strong enough to burn” you replied, not as a question but rather a strong statement again hitting him with that beautiful stare. You picked up your own drink (the same as the one you’d made for him) and said a quick “cheers” before downing most of it. Harry was about to say something but was quickly inturrupted by a group of people entering the bar area.
The group consisted of a few people Harry knew, immediately recognizing Lizzo, ASAP Rocky, Gigi and Bella Hadid but there were a few others with them he didn’t know (or atleast didn’t recognize). The smile on your face grew into a wide grin as Bella squealed and said your name, engulfing you in a bear hug. “Bells!” You giggled lightly into her shoulder before releasing from the hug.
“The show was incredible Y/N. You’re a fucking genius” she praised as she walked behind the bar, still smiling widely.
“You walked in it love” you reminded her, giggling as you went to greet Rocky. The two of you hugged tightly before releasing, Rocky’s hands going up to cup your face.
“You killed it baby, just like you always do” he said as he kissed your nose. You could feel Harry’s eyes burning into the side of your head as he chatted along with lizzo.
“Mm thank you Rocky, you know you’re my muse” you grinned wider as you kissed both his hands in appreciation.
Harry couldn’t help but watch your interaction with Rocky, you seemed so comfortable, so intimate. Harry felt a pang of jealousy run through his stomach at you calling Rocky your “muse”. He brushed it off with a clearing of his throat as he turned his attention back to lizzo. “You good H? Uh oh. Y/N made you one of her manhattans didn’t she?” Lizzo laughed loudly looking down at the drink in his hands before hitting Harry’s shoulder playfully, the question bringing your attention to them.
“Hey! My manhattans are world renowned Mel” (Lizzo’s real name is Melissa) you said proudly as you took a few steps forward, closing the distance between you and the couple. You pulled Lizzo in for a hug “m glad you came” you said as the two of you pulled apart.
“Of course! The collection is legendary as per” she replied genuinely. You thanked her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before turning your attention to Harry.
“If you’ll excuse Harry and I, Mel. He was just about to escort me outside for a smoke” you informed her, all well making full eye contact with Harry.
“Mhmmm you two have fun, come get me for shots later”
Harry followed you outside onto the large open balcony, watching you greet people on the way, doing the same if he knew the person. As soon as the two of you stepped outside Harry watched you take a deep breath, tipping your head back slightly to take in the fresh air. It looked almost erotic, even though it was just a simple action it made all Harry’s senses tingle. “How do’ya know Rocky?” Harry asked seemingly out of nowhere, it almost shocked himself. He knew he tends to get jealous rather easily, and maybe even a little possessive but usually it only comes out with people he’s exclusive with, not a women he’s never even kissed. And yet, there it was. He tried to sound casual but worried he failed terribly. You turned your head to him with a slight smirk before licking your lower lip and chuckling slightly.
“Oh, we’ve known each other for a long time. Met him at a party when I was first starting out” you said nonchalantly before grabbing a pack of cigarettes off the small table that sat on the deck. Harry nodded, understanding that you were in no way going to give away the nature of yours and Rockys relationship.
“I listened through your album again this morning” you admitted, effortlessly changing the subject back to him while taking a long drag of the cigarette you had just lit. Harry tried his best to hide the grin appearing on his face as he stared at you,
“did ya?” He asked waiting for you to continue your thought.
“Mhm. Listened to it in the shower” you hummed, as you leaned forward against the railing in front of the two of you, taking in the view and breaking eye contact.
The thought of you listening to Harry sing while completely naked in the shower made his skin feel like it was on fire and all his blood rush down to his groin. “What’s y’ favourite song?” He asked, leaning his back against the railing right next to you and looking down at your face. You looked up at him and hummed in thought.
“She” you said with a thoughtful, almost devious smile before standing up straight and putting out your smoke.
“Let’s go do shots, yeah?” Harry nodded with an amused smile as you grabbed his hand and pulled him back into the hotel.
Four shots and two hours later Harry found himself sitting on one of the couches to the right side of the open living room, watching you dance along with your friends in the middle. You looked so free, so careless, so magical. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you, trying to listen to whatever Jeff was trying to tell him to his right. “You’re not paying attention are you man?” Harry heard Jeff ask through a laugh as he followed Harry’s eyeline straight to you. Harry pried his eyes away from you to look at Jeff
“sorry mate. I’m listenin’” Harry told him, not really trying to be convincing.
“She’s an actress y’know. Not literally, but she knows how to get what she wants, she always has. But she’s got a good heart, just be careful alright?” Jeff said to him, patting his knee before standing up and walking over to glenne who was stood at the other side of the room.
Harry sat, watching you as he went over what Jeff had said to him a few moments ago. “She’s an actress”. Did he have to be careful? You didn’t look dangerous, but you did scare him a little. Not because he thought you’d physically hurt him or anything, but he knew if he’d let you, you could dig deep into his already fragile heart. Break it, possibly like it hadn’t been before.
Harry was brought out of his thoughts by seeing you turn your body towards where he was sitting, breaking yourself out of the group of friends that surrounded you. You made eye contact with Harry and motioned for him to come to you with your perfectly manicured right hand. You weren’t smiling, but he could see a glint of something he thought was amusement in your eyes. He got up and walked over to you. “You motioned fo’ me love?” He asked as he approached, a small smirk apparently on both your lips.
“Mhm, come” you said as you offered him your hand. He took your small hand in his as you ushered him through the growing crowd.
The two of you walked all the way through the living room, and passed the kitchen before entering a smaller room to the left of the kitchen. As you entered Harry took in his surroundings, it appeared to be an office space. There was a glass table in the center of the room with a large plate decorated with multiple lines of white powder on it, along with three chairs; one blue velvet and the other two grey of the same material. There were a few other people in the room, but Harry didn’t recognize them. “Some privacy please loves” you said aloud, asking them to leave Harry and yourself alone in the space. The strangers immediately obliged when they saw you, muttering greetings as they exited. You turned around to face Harry who was standing only slightly behind you.
“do you fancy a line Harry?” You asked, your hand coming up to touch his shoulder lightly.
“S’ a party innit?” He agreed, making you smile all too innocently given what he was agreeing to was quite the opposite. You walked over to the plate of narcotics, picking up the metal straw from beside it before holding it up to your nose. You bent over the table, flipping your hair over to the right side to make sure it didn’t get in the way as you breathed in deep through your nose inhaling a thick line of the powder. Harry watched as you stood up straight, tipping your head back and inhaling through your nose to make sure you got it all. You let out a cheery giggle before holding the straw out to Harry. He took it and did the same.
Just as Harry stood up straight you gently carressed his left cheek, staring into his blown out pupils. “God, you’re somethin’ else” he spoke just below a whisper, only loud enough for you to barely hear. He brought his large ring filled hand up to your waist as your hand fell from his cheek to his neck. He applied pressure to your waist encouraging you to move so your bum was pushed against the glass table. Once you obliged he moved even closer to you so your noses were practically touching, his hand moving to smooth itself over your back to hold you in place.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked, his voice much lower and more raspy than it had been. His eyes filled with desperation and lust. Instead of responding you giggled lightly and pulled him in by his neck, connecting your lips. The kiss was slow and messy, but filled with an undying passion. Your left hand squeezed his neck slightly, egging him on as one of his hands went to cup your jaw while the other one steadied on your waist. You opened your mouth slightly, inviting him in which he immediately took advantage of, sliding his tongue into your mouth. Both your lips were slightly numb from the coke but it did nothing but intensify the feeling. He tasted like whiskey and peppermint, making your head dizzy (in the most incredible way). You let your hands drop down to his waistband, slowly untucking the button down from his trousers and beginning to undue the buttons. Your eagerness made a low groan erupt from the back of his throat, feeling his boner growing rapidly at your touch. You broke the kiss as you finished unbuttoning his shirt, both of your breathing unsteady. He watched as you ran your hands up his torso slowly before pushing his sleeves off his wide shoulders. You made eye contact with him as he went to kiss you again, you stopped him shaking your head. You bent your head down slightly and licked his chest, starting from the top of his butterfly tattoo and ending just under his jaw. The feeling driving Harry completely insane with lust, goosebumps appearing all over his body as he let out a throaty moan
“y’ drivin’ me fuckin’ crazy” he said as you came up, standing up straight.
“Sit” you spoke, pointing at the large blue velvet chair next to you, not breaking eye contact. You could still hear the booming music and people taking from the other rooms as you watched him sit. You turned around so your back was facing Harry as you undid the tie that held up the top part of your jumpsuit letting it fall down, exposing your entire torso and back.
You heard Harry mutter a low “fuck” as you turned around and positioned yourself on top of him, successfully straddling his lap.
You could feel the exceedingly large bulge through his pants pressing against your crotch as he began kissing down your neck and towards your breasts causing you to moan slightly.
“Please Harry” you said breathlessly, giving him some control as you began slowly grinding back and forth against him.
“Tell me princess. Tell me what ya want” he raspily requested as he gripped onto your hips with both his hands, guiding your movements.
“I want you to fuck me harry, I want you to use me” you said still grinding against him while looking down slightly into his eyes as he stared back up at you. Without hesitation he lifted you, firmly holding onto your bum as he stood up and set you down on the table.
“Lift up love” he ordered, you leaned back on your hands and lifted up for bum so he could pull down the remaining part of your jumpsuit. After discarding the material to the side, taking your nude pumps along with it, he took a moment to take in your practically naked body. You grinned widely at his reaction as he began to grope your boobs, once again connecting his lips with yours. You reached your hands down to undo the button of his pants, using your skilled fingers you got them down in record time. You looked back up at him to see his eyes already staring at you. You placed your hands on either side of his face while his still ran along your nude body.
“Please Harry, I need your cock” you whispered seductively causing his whole body to go into overdrive.
He quickly pulled down his already undone trousers and boxers before sliding your peach coloured thong to the side, feeling your dripping pussy with his index finger and letting out an animalistic groan. You watched as he grabbed his large dick with his left hand, lining himself up at your entrance before turning his gaze back to your face. You both held eye contact as he entered you. The feeling completely overwhelming both of you, you leaned your head back, gripping roughly onto his back as you both let out a strangled moan. “Fuck” you moaned “you’re so big”. Your words egging him on, he picked up his pace pumping in and out of you slow but rough. He kept his focus on your face, watching as you moaned his name and praised him. You looked like a complete wet dream, your eyes barely open, your head tilted back as you stared at him through your eyelashes refusing to break eye contact.
“Good girl.... y’ take me so fucking good” he moaned, his ringed fingers digging harshly into your hips as his grip tightened. You lifted your head and moved your hands to his neck pulling him in closer so that his face was not even an inch away from yours.
“Harder Harry, fuck me harder” you moaned, completely out of breath. He started pounding into faster, all the sounds of the hectic party just outside completely drowned out by the sound of his balls slapping harshly against you and your shared moans. You finally broke eye contact when you leaned your head to the side and began leaving messy wet kisses along his jaw before meeting his neck with your mouth. You bit down roughly onto the skin of his neck earning a throaty moan from him. You licked over the spot you’d just bitten, soothing the pain a bit before he pulled your head back, balling your hair into his fist so you would look at him.
“Dirty little princess y’ are... leavin’ marks on me” he growled into your mouth before rejioning your lips to his and continuing his relentless pace with his hips.
You could feel your orgasm approaching rapidly, the overwhelming tingling travelling all throughout your body, all your senses becoming increasingly clear. “Y’ gonna cum fo’ me love?” He asked as he felt your walls becoming even tighter around his shaft. You nodded rapidly.
“Such a good girl... s’ fuckin tight” he said in between breathless moans.
“Cum fo’ me princess, I wanna feel you” he repeated, moving his right hand from its place on your waist to rub your clit, matching the pace of his hips. You could feel it happening, your vision blurred, your toes curling, your legs shaking rapidly as you dig your nails deep into Harry’s black, holding on for dear life.
“Fuck, Harry. Fuck” you repeated over and over as you came hard around his thick cock.
“Fuck Y/N, y’ gonna make me cum” he moaned into your neck as you held onto his shoulders.
“Cum for me harry, please” you whispered in his ear between moans of your own. You could feel his body start to weaken as he twitched inside of you, about to cum. You wrapped your legs around his hips tightly and pulled him in closer as he let out a loud raspy moan. You felt thick ropes of cum shoot deep inside you.
Once he came down from his high he kept his head rested on your shoulder, your arms and legs still wrapped tightly around him, both of you desperately trying to catch your breath. After a few seconds you both released, your legs falling down beside his as he stood. You made eye contact and you giggled lightly making him smile boyishly. Both of your hair a complete and utter mess, breathing heavily, and completely naked. The plate of cocaine that once sat on the side of the table was now shattered on the floor. “Your insane” Harry said before he laughed looking around the room, really taking in everything that happened. You laughed with him as you hopped off the table and walked over to where he had thrown your jumpsuit and shoes.
“I’m going to assume you meant that as a compliment.” You said as you pulled your jumpsuit up over your nude body.
“F’ course love. You’re a fuckin minx” he complimented as he buttoned up his shirt.
“You’re not so bad yourself, Harry” you shot back with a quick wink as you finished putting you shoes on.
End note: Ahh thank you so much for reading!! I’m kind of nervous about posting this, so please let me know what you thought! I’d seriously appreciate it. And if you liked it please please reblog :) I know the ending is kind of abrupt but it’ll make sense in the next part. Also, there will be ANGST coming up !
#fanfic#smut#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harry styles#solo harry#harry x reader#series#fanfiction#fandom#fine line#oneshots#x reader
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Injuries
Bucky Barnes x daughter!reader
While out on a mission with Sam, you get injured and it from your dad. Several days later, you get re-injured
Word Count: 1,976
A/N: Thank you for 80 followers! I decided to celebrate by posing one of my favorite things I’ve written so far. Please keep sending in requests and my taglist is open
Warnings: mentions of blood/injury. Nothing super graphic
You begged Bucky not to take you to his meeting. You did a whole PowerPoint as to why you shouldn’t be forced to go. Bucky insisted that it wouldn’t be the end of the world and now here you are; Sitting in the corner of a conference room spinning in an office chair, listening to Nick Fury give your dad and Sam a new mission. You never really went on missions anymore. Your area of expertise was more to gather Intel. Not fighting. Of course, you had some training. Hydra trained all their weapons with at least the basics. You didn’t want to be here. You had better things to do. You recently became friends with Peter and his friends during school since Fury “gently” requested that you attend because the last time you were there was back in the 40’s.
“Since this mission is recon only, Barnes you can stay behind. We’ll only need Wilson.”
You stopped your chair with a loud thud. Fury glanced at you and back to the two men at the table. He looked back at you and then whispered something to your dad. Bucky looked at you and then nodded. Fury stood up and walked towards you. You followed him with your eyes not getting up from your seat.
“Little Barnes. Would you care to join Wilson on this mission?”
You shot up and looked from Sam to your dad; both men smiling.
“Yes absolutely!” you squealed.
It had been too long. Recently you have been itching to get out and do something. You almost ran to give Fury a hug but quickly diverted your path towards Bucky.
You and Sam were in the weapons room checking off your list.
“Suits?” you ask.
“Check. Knives and guns?”
“Check. Grenades?”
“Really Y/n?”
“What? You’ll never know. You might have blow some people up!”
Sam rolled his eyes at you. He tossed you your bag and you shoved some of your belongings into it. You weren’t too sure how long you would be gone. You and Sam headed to the jet that would be taking you to your destination. Bucky met you and Sam on the ramp leading into the jet. You went to him and hugged him. He hugged you back even tighter. You pulled away and he put his hand on the back of your head.
“Stay safe out there okay? I don’t need you getting hurt on me,” you smiled and hugged him again, “Wilson! Keep an eye on her.”
“Don’t worry I will.” Sam said. Already seated in the pilot’s seat. You waved goodbye to your dad and you and Sam took off.
Your mission almost went perfectly. You got all the Intel needed and got within feet of your exit point. Neither you or Sam were sure what happened but all of a sudden you got ambushed by guards. Both of you tried to get out as quickly as you could. You hadn’t really prepared for a full fight today. Sam managed to fight off his guys without a scratch. You? Not so lucky. Once you two ran out of the building and got far away from it, you stopped to catch your breath. You put your hand on your side and noticed something warm and sticky. You looked down at your side and saw blood seeping through your shirt and on your hand. Sam started walking towards the jet but you stopped him.
“Umm. Sam,”
He turned around to face you and you held up the hand covered in blood.
“I think I need a doctor.”
Sam rushed over to your side and lifted up your shirt to expose the wound. You had a deep gash on the left side of your stomach. You looked up at Sam waiting for his response.
“Y/n you have to go get that stitched up. Bruce could probably do it at the compound.”
You widen your eyes in alarm.
“No! I can’t go to Bruce because he’ll tell my dad and then he won’t let me do missions anymore,” you paused for a moment to think, “Take me to an E.R. They can do it there.”
“That’s not a good idea. If Bucky finds out he’ll-”
“He won’t find out because it’ll be our little secret,” you looked at him with the puppy dog eyes that always worked with Bucky.
“Fine,” Sam sighed, “but you get to do the post-mission paperwork for me.”
You gave him a thumbs up and walked quickly back to the jet. Sam had to find the nearest unoccupied field to land the jet. You quickly made your way to civilization and took a cab to the hospital. Once you got there the doctors quickly got you in a bed and stitched you up. You were glad they didn’t question why a teenage girl and grown man were at the E.R for a knife wound. You hadn’t come up with a story yet.
Sam wasn’t happy with the decision to not tell Bucky, but he knew you had encountered worse in your time with Hydra and could handle yourself.
Once you returned to the compound you bounded off the jet to go and find your dad. You found him eating some food in one of the lounge areas.
“Hey dad! I’m back,” you said.
Bucky turned in his seat and walked over to you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into a side hug. You winced quietly because of the fresh stitches in your side, but hoped your dad didn’t notice.
“I’m really tired. I think I’m going to go to bed for a bit. is that okay?” you asked your dad.
He nodded and let you go back to the apartment.
Three days later, Fury called another meeting. This time you, your dad , and Sam were needed to interfere on an arms deal. Fury was impressed with your performance on the mission with Sam so he invited you back. You wanted to decline but the hospital said you needed to rest for two weeks. But if you declined, you’d have to tell your dad what happened and that wasn’t an option. So you packed for another mission and left.
The mission was taking place in an empty warehouse. Sam was perched in the rafters, while you and your dad were in different corners on the ground. The goal was to have Sam and Redwing take out the dealers. You and Bucky were only going to engage if things got bad.
You were crouched behind a stack of pallets. You could only see through the slits in the wood, but you saw the large doors start to open. You moved slowly over near an opening in the stacks. Just in case you needed to get out of the corner. You looked up to Sam and saw him getting Redwing ready to fly. Before Sam could get himself ready to shoot, a gunshot rang through the building; followed by grunts and shouts. You saw your dad with his gun out and fighting. You popped from your hiding spot and started to help your dad. Sam flew down from his spot and joined you. At some point, the dealers tried to escape the building by using the wooden crates to try and block you guys in. you had to dive and roll to avoid it. In that process you felt popping. You just assumed it was your joints or something, the adrenaline in your body masking the pain. Bucky grabbed you by the back of your suit and dragged you over to him.
“Y/n, are you ok?” he whispered to you.
You nodded and he grabbed your hand and you made your way out of the building and met Sam at the jet. You sat down on one of the seats and took off your suit top, leaving you in a black t-shirt. You sprawled out on the row of seats and tried to relax. Your dad was talking to Sam when he glanced over at you. He smiled because to him, you looked peaceful. He walked over and sat down by your feet. You sat up and stretched your arms.
“How you feelin doll?” he asked.
“I’m good. Just tired. That fight took a lot out of me,” you said.
You readjusted yourself so your head was resting on your dad’s shoulder. Bucky looked down at you and scanned your body; checking you for any injuries. His eyes stopped when he saw a crimson red stain on your black shirt. You followed his eyes and gasped. Bucky lifted your shirt and exposed the bandage covering the injury. When you put it on this morning it was clean and white. Now it was a dark red.
“Y/n. What the hell is that!” your dad exclaimed.
Sam walked over to you two and saw what was going on. Bucky looked from you to Sam, Back and forth. Sam sighed and started looking for something to stop the bleeding.
“What aren’t you two telling me?”
Sam gave you a few pieces of gauze to hold on your wound,“I told you y/n. We should’ve told him.”
Bucky snapped his head at you and glared, "I will talk to you about this later,” he said pointing at you, “and you,” now looking at Sam, “I need to talk to now.”
Bucky dragged Sam angrily to the other side of the jet. All you heard was angry whispering.
You held the gauze to your stomach and laid back down. You knew your dad was pissed. You pushed those thoughts out of your head and focused on the pain that was now shooting through your body. The adrenaline had worn off now. You closed your eyes to try and fight the pain and thank god you were tired because you immediately fell asleep.
You woke up a few hours later in the med bay at the compound. You sat up and pulled the device off your finger and pulled out your IV. An alarm beeped and Bruce rushed into the room. He looked relieved when he saw you were awake. He walked over to the bed and grabbed the IV and put it back in your arm.
“You have to keep this in. You’re really dehydrated,” he said, “I thought I talked to you about your water intake.”
You rolled your eyes.
“I’m keeping you here overnight. Just to make sure you start healing properly.”
You nodded your head and fell back into the pillows.
Bruce went to leave but then turned back to face you, “Also you need to rest for two weeks and then ease back into your training for two more.”
You groaned.
“But that’s just my orders. You might want to talk to your dad.”
“Can you get him for me then?”
Bruce nodded and left. At this point you were mentally face palming yourself. You were stupid and now your small problem became a much bigger one. Bucky knocked on the door frame, letting you know he was there. You moved over on the bed so he could sit next to you. He took your hands in his and looked at you.
“I’m sorry,” you started, “I didn’t want to tell you because I really enjoyed being in the field. I kinda missed it and didn’t want it taken from me again.”
Bucky chuckled at your rambling. He wasn’t mad or disappointed. He moved a piece of hair behind your ear.
“I’m not mad at you. I just wanted to let you know that if you had told me, I wouldn’t have overreacted. I just want to make sure you’re safe okay?”
you nodded and he pulled you into a hug. He left to let you rest more and you never hid another injury from him again.
Taglist
@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @teenage-incompetence
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x daughter!reader#bucky barnes x teen!reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#marvel#marvel fanfiction#mcu#x daughter!reader#x teen!reader#bucky barnes daughter#bucky barnes x daughter#bucky barnes x teen
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A Hero’s Rescue (part 2)
Sanders Sides: Roman, Virgil
Blurb: After being defeated in battle, the last thing Roman expects is to have a soaking wet hero show up at his doorstep.
Fic Type: Hurt/Comfort Superhero!AU
Inspiration: This Post by @messythoughtsandscribbledplots
Overall Fic Warnings: Blood, Injuries, Drugging (mentioned), Negative Self Talk, Threats of Violence, Death Talk
Taglist in reblog.
Part 1
Roman had made his mother’s special soup over a thousand times. To the point where he could do it on pure muscle memory--a feat he discovered after a particularly unrememberable encounter with one of Brainiac’s mind ray beams that he didn’t want to experience ever again.
Still. Being able to feed himself with his mother’s soup even when his mind was completely blank of conscious thought was a good survival instinct to know he had...despite the circumstances.
And yet.
His master chefs had needed to take over the making of the soup halfway through after Roman had nearly sliced open his finger for the second time while dicing the onions because he wasn’t focused on the task at hand.
Now though, with the main preparation done, he’d sent them back to their slumber, leaving him alone to stir the soup on the stove while keeping an eye on the pot of hot chocolate simmering nearby. At least he hadn’t managed to burn either one...yet.
He supposed he could be granted a pass for being distracted though.
It wasn’t everyday he, a supervillain, had one of his nemesis’ over for a...well Roman had said kidnapping, but honestly, it was hardly that considering he’d left the kid alone to clean himself up without locking the door or even tying him up.
Roman exhaled, forcing his tense shoulders to relax as he reached up with one hand to check that his mask was still on.
Not that he’d let it or the crown he still wore to vanish. But he had to make sure.
Because he had a hero in his house.
He had a HERO in his House.
If any of the others ever discovered this--but no. He frowned. Someone had treated the young Thunderclap bad enough that he’d want to--that he’d come to Roman, no, to the Tyrant. To be--be---.
He let out another shaky breath, tilting his head to listen for the sounds of running water. For any indication that Whirlwind was still in the house.
For all he knew the young Rainspout had vanished as soon he was sure Roman had left the room.
Or...he could be sneaking around the place right now. Looking for the Tyrant’s Lair. It could all have been a trick. A trap--NO. Roman growled under his breath.
There had been no mistaking the despondency and then the disbelief in Sparky’s eyes at how he, as Tyrant, was willing to take him in and treat him like a decent person--which Roman honestly needed to figure out how that was gonna go down for the next couple of days having a guest--instead of well...killing him.
As Tyrant he was a lot of things…but an outright murderer? Hardly. Sure he could easily name a dozen other vile villains who wouldn’t have hesitated. To kill. To injure. To treat a hero, even a new one, like a punching bag. A dozen people Roman would need to check on to ensure they hadn’t mistreated Thunderclap in such a manner. Honestly, it really was a stroke of luck that the young hero had chosen to come to him first instead of--
Roman stiffened, hands going still on the pot as the hairs on the back of his neck rose.
Static Electricity.
Did Sparky realize he gave off that much energy? Probably not.
The soft coo of his dove confirmed that his new...guest? Yah. Guest was probably the best way to think about this. Had finally arrived.
“Fifteen minutes late, Whirlwind.” Roman said, fighting the urge to again check his mask to make sure it hadn’t slipped. “And here I thought heroes were supposed to be on ti--” He turned to the young hero standing awkwardly in the doorway with the dove on his shoulder, and promptly forgot to breathe as he caught sight of Sparky’s face.
His maskless face.
Roman jerked his eyes back to the soup, heart hammering in his chest as he gestured with a hand to conjure a simple silk mask, making it the same shade of purple as the pjs he’d created earlier that Sparky now wore.
He coughed awkwardly, desperately trying to forget all the little details, all the bruises, he’d seen just from the two second glance at the, oh Crofters, he’d known the hero was young, but not a freaking teenager! What was he fourteen?!
He’d better have not been fighting a child this entire time. No, Sparky had to be at least eighteen. Please let him be an adult and not a minor. Because if he wasn’t...Roman would have to rethink his fighting strategies against his favorite hero.
He clenched his jaw. And if...if the kid was actually freaking fourteen years old...then the perpetrator who’d hurt him like this would soon come to regret their actions because there was no way the Tyrant would let them get away with it.
Still looking away, he held out the mask to where he’d seen the hero standing, sending it with a flick of his fingers to hover near him in a crimson bubble. “You uh--forgot something, Thunderclap.”
Perhaps he should have taken Sparky to a hospital first if he was so addled in the head to forget something so simple as keeping his secret identity intact in front of his enemy.
There was a soft sigh and a faint tingle as static electricity brushed against Roman’s crimson glow, like a finger poking into the side of a balloon, before the mask was pulled free from his hold. “I didn’t forget.” Came the quiet response as the hero edged closer, pausing by the oak dinner table, using it as a feeble barrier between them. “Figured you wouldn’t let me keep it on long anyways if I’m your…prisoner.”
Prisoner? Roman scoffed, moving to pull cups and bowls out of the cupboard, setting them down on the counter. “Even if I intended you to be a prisoner, Whirlwind, which I don’t by the way even if you are technically kidnapped, because otherwise you’d be in a containment bubble where I wouldn’t be risking getting myself shocked senseless by one of your little lightning bolts. I still have standards. I wouldn’t unmask you like that.”
“....You wouldn’t?”
Roman glanced at him from the corner of his eye, noting the mask was definitely still in the kid’s hands as he dished up the soup. “Of course not!” It was hardly fair play. Especially for a new hero.
As the Tyrant, Roman may have enjoyed his battles with the Waterspout over the past six months, but they definitely weren’t ‘there’ yet when it came to him feeling any sort of victory from finally tearing away the hero’s mask to see the face of his enemy.
The moment he could corner that annoying army zapping Nerdy Wolverine though? Oh, that would be a sweet sweet victory he would savor for at least a year when he finally defeated Brainiac and rightfully discovered his true identity.
Roman turned, two bowls of soup held in his hands as he carefully kept his eyes directed at the kid’s bare feet, noting that even there the hero had cuts and bruises. He fought back the flare of anger, adding a couple more potential acquaintances he’d need to pay a visit to on his ever growing mental list. “If I wanted to find out who you were, Whirlwind, I would have taken your mask off outside when you were kneeling at my feet in the rain.”
He took two cautious steps closer to the young Hurricane, watching the feet as they shifted in place. He needed to tread carefully here. Go slow. His hero had been hurt and Roman needed to prove that Sparky was safe with him here.
He took a breath, holding out both bowls to give the kid the option of choosing one, conscious of how the hero had been concerned that they could be drugged. Right. Drugged. Mentally he crossed off six names and added one more. “Beyond the fact that I would very much prefer it to happen after a long hard fought battle where I soundly defeat you, at least that reveal outside would be far more dramatic and rewarding than doing so in my kitchen of all places.”
Wind whistled in his ears as Waterspout huffed a bitter sounding laugh as he tossed the mask onto the table. “Sorry to disappoint you then. But I’m done.” The lights flickered, the static electricity around them increasing. “Done with this...hero business. I can’t, Tyrant. It’s too much pressure. I’ll just fail.”
Roman shook his head, frowning as he set the bowls on the table, gesturing with his hand to float the two mugs of hot chocolate by the stove over to them. “You haven’t failed me.” He said lightly, setting them down.
Scare him? Yes. It wasn’t every day that a hero comes to your home out of the blue asking you to kill them.
Thunderclap snorted, resting his hands on the back of the chair closest to him, his fingers turning white. “Umm. Earlier today?”
“I know you can’t make every battle, Sparky. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t show.” Roman said with a shrug as he pulled out a chair at the table and sat, pushing the purple mask closer to the kid while fighting to not adjust his own or look at the hero’s face.
Sure he’d been disappointed. He always was when Thunderclap didn’t come to face him. Their battles were far more exciting, far more challenging compared to the other heroes he’d faced over the years. “You may not want to be a hero right now. But you’re injured. Exhausted. And hopefully hungry because I made you a ton of soup.” He twisted his hand, a soft red glow surrounding his fingers as two golden spoons appeared. He was careful to keep his eyes down away from the kid’s face as he twirled the spoons around his fingers. “After you eat your fill and get a good night's sleep in a big soft bed you might find you’ve changed your mind come morning.”
He could feel the static electricity continuing to build in the room until it felt like every hair on his body was standing on end. It made it difficult to not retaliate and send up a shield of defense against the lightning bolt that could be coming his way any second.
But the kid had no reason to zap him. At least he hoped he didn’t. He just had to stay calm. Stay relaxed.
Unexpectedly, the static energy vanished like an iceberg breaking apart leaving goosebumps racing up and down Roman’s arms as Sparky relaxed his grip on the chair. “You’re...not...acting how I expected you to.”
He smirked. Good. The Tyrant couldn’t be just your predictable regular run of the mill bad guy. “Oh?”
The chair scraped against the tile as Sparky cautiously sat down, his hand resting on the mask. “You...you care far too much about...” He shakily inhaled, the lights flickering above his head as he raised a hand, presumably to scrub at his eyes judging by the movement. “Me. No one ca--but you--and--and you don’t even know who--”
No one cares? If he wasn’t certain he’d be electrocuted on the spot Roman would have pulled the young hero into another hug then and there. It sure sounded like he desperately needed one.
“Kindness doesn’t need to be shown a face, Sparky.” Roman said softly, laying the spoons on the table with a quiet clink. “Just because I’m a bad guy...doesn’t mean I’m a bad guy.”
The kid huffed another shaky laugh. “Did...did you seriously just quote Wreck-it Ralph at me?”
Roman jerked his head up in surprise. “You know--”
The hero flinched back, causing the dove on his shoulder to take flight as his violet eyes half hidden by damp bangs flashed with panic while lightning crackled at his fingertips.
Wait! Face! Gah! Roman twisted in his seat, hissing under his breath, his body tensing with the expectation of getting electrocuted. Great. Of course his love of Disney would come back to bite him at a delicate moment.
This really would be much easier if the kid would just put on the mask already, so he wouldn’t have to worry--- but Roman wasn’t going to force him to do something he obviously was reluctant to do. Sparky was a guest…even if he was technically kidnapped.
“I didn’t see anything, Whirlwind” He said as evenly as he could as the dove landed on the counter nearby with a soft coo, his mind racing as he turned his head further to stare at the pot on the stove. “But...judging from your reaction...perhaps you don’t actually want me to know who you are?”
“I--I--” There was a thunk on the table as the crackling sound coming from the boy faded. “I don’t want to...be a hero right now, Tyrant.” He whispered. “I--I can’t--not now.”
But the kid couldn’t exactly use his civilian identity in front of the Tyrant either since they were enemies. A pretty pickle. Except Thunderclap seemed to be forgetting one thing. He didn’t have to be either identity.
Roman glanced towards the young hero to see his face buried in his arms, purple mask half hidden underneath them. “Last I checked, Hurricane.” He said quietly. “There’s no rule saying that because you wear purple and white as a hero...that you can only ever wear those colors.”
It would be a dead giveaway to the villains--for the smart ones at least--if the heroes did that.
Roman gestured, his hands again glowing crimson as he created a dozen more masks similar to the purple one the table, making each one a different color of the rainbow plus some boring shades like black and brown to give Raindrops a variety to choose from.
He turned away from the display as Sparky looked up. “If you don’t want to be a hero then pick a different color mask. You can be anyone you want to be under it. I can even conjure you a different set of pajamas so you can distance yourself further from your hero color scheme while you’re here. Just…” Don’t give up just yet. He shrugged. “Pick one.”
Waterspout reached out, hesitantly touching a blue mask, before shifting to hover over a green one. “...It can’t be that easy.” He whispered. “What’s the catch?”
Roman made a face. “No catch. Pick a mask and then tell me a name to go with it.” He said, watching him from the corner of his eye as the boy lowered his head, his bangs hiding his eyes. “Any name.” He coaxed. “And I’ll call you that instead while you’re here. You won’t have to be a hero. You can just...be my guest.”
“A guest. To the Tyrant.” Thunderclap said, putting an emphasis on the name.
That--the kid had a point. Roman exhaled. How could Sparky forget he was a Hero if his enemy, the Tyrant, was still around? Which meant...he would need to create his own alter identity as well.
For the seemingly simple task of taking in a young hero and giving him soup...this whole thing was becoming more and more...complicated.
“No. Not to him. To me. Your host.” He stated, raising a crimson hand to his golden mask, altering it so that it became the same size and shape as the ones on the table, his crown vanishing as Roman made minor alterations to his appearance to keep Whirlwind from guessing his own civilian identity.
He dropped his hand from the simple red mask he now wore, heart hammering in his chest at how...well naked he felt in the thing as he turned more fully to the kid, once more back in the clothes he’d been wearing while working on recreating his Knightmare Soldiers, careful to keep his attention on the masks on the table and not the hero’s bare face. No wonder Sparky was reluctant to wear this sort of thing. It hardly felt like a disguise at all.
“You can call me Pryce.” He said, spreading his hands, fighting not to fidget under the weight of Sparky’s eyes boring into him, taking in his changed appearance.
“Pryce?”
Roman nodded, watching Thunderclap’s hands twitching over his color options. “Yes.”
It was one name he knew he would answer to that couldn’t immediately be connected back to his own civilian life.
“You’re serious about this? No heroes...no villains...just…us?”
“So long as you’re here as my guest. Yes.” If Raindrops needed a break, then Roman would give him it. Anything to keep the kid from doing--from---from repeating--.
A soft sigh. “Okay.” Thunder rumbled in the distance as Sparky plucked up a plain black mask, placing it over his eyes.
Roman blinked. Wait. Black? “Sooo...what? You going all goth on me now, kid?” He asked, slowly turning more fully towards the hero--to his guest as the boy looked up, already visibly relaxing now that Roman could look at him without seeing his identity.
The corner of his lips twitching in a half smile as Sparky ran a hand through his darker hair, ensuring the bangs still half covered his eyes. “You have a problem with me wearing black?”
Roman rolled his eyes. He was a villain who wore gold for a reason. Of course he didn’t like black. “Beyond it being such a common, dull, and boring color?” He waved a hand dismissively, vanishing the other masks. “No. Not really.”
Thunderclap huffed, shaking his head. “Then...you can call me Andy.” He said, reaching for the closest bowl of soup, violet eyes flickering to him to check Roman’s reaction.
Andy.
Roman tilted his head. Not a name he would have picked for the hero. But he supposed that was kinda the point. “Andy.” He repeated. “Nice.” Not as nice or creative as Pryce, but he’d save his critiques for the boy’s lack of originality another day. “Is it short for the Mountain range?”
Spar--Andy choked on a laugh, shaking his head as he picked up a spoon. “No--not after--No.”
“Pity.” Roman said, a more natural smile appearing on his lips as he grabbed his own bowl of soup, purposely getting the spoon to his lips before his guest to prove that the soup was safe. “After the Mints then? I would be more understanding of your emolicious choice in black if that were the case.”
Andy flashed him a smile, eyes sparking. “Only if Pryce is short for Price Tag. How much you going for these days? Two bucks?” He asked, taking a cautious sip from his bowl, only to immediately go for another spoonful.
Roman nearly choked on his own soup. Price Tag? TWO BUCKS?! How dare he insult the Tyr-- Gah! Right. Not actively being the bad guy right now. But STILL. The audacity!
No wonder he loved bantering with this kid.
“You’ll come to find, Hot Topic, that I’m priceless. You can’t afford me.”
Andy hummed, nodding like a wise old sage as he picked up the bowl in both hands, tilting it to his lips. “So your name is Less now?”
Roman clicked his tongue, watching the kid gulp down his soup like there was no tomorrow. Okay...he’d walked into that one. “No.” He said, summoning the pot over from the stove, so that the kid could get more if he so desired.
“Pity.” Andy set the bowl down, glancing to the pot then to him. “Guess I can’t think of you any Less then.” He licked his lips, meeting Roman’s eyes before he could respond. “Not after--well...thanks--for letting me...crash here for a bit...Pryce.”
Roman blinked, caught off guard at the sudden change in direction. A pity. He’d had a great retort to that earlier remark too.
He took up the ladle, filling the kid’s bowl once more. “No problem, Peppermint.” He said as he also pushed the mug of hot chocolate closer to the hero, summoning a bag of marshmallows with a twitch of his fingers. He chuckled as the kid’s eyes once again lit up. “Stay as long as you need.”
#A Hero's Rescue#stillebesat#Sanders Sides#Roman#Virgil#Creativity#Anxiety#Superhero!AU#Villain!Roman#Hero!Virgil#injuries tw#drugging mention tw#negative self talk tw#threats of violence tw#death talk tw
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(I’d be) everything you need
hello beautiful people - here is a little fun story written for the @1dffchallenges quarantine challenge.
huge thank you to @booksncoffee for another stunning banner and to @yourpolaroid07 (i have no idea why i can’t tag you) for being the greatest gem and reading over it for me and correcting all my stupid mistakes.
so, here it is, hope it will make you smile because i sure did have a lot of fun writing this. if you like it, please come talk to me
(I’d be) everything you need
(Niall’s texts are in bold, Katie’s are in italics)
“Mum, I swear I’ll be fine. I’ll place an order and just get some takeaway tonight.” Katie assured, having had this discussion pretty much every time they spoke over the last few days.
“Bug, you have no idea how long an order is processed right now. It can take up to a week, if not longer. You can’t order all your meals,” her mum reasoned.
“Well, what do you want me to do?” she huffed irritated. Sure, she knew her mum had the best intentions and was probably worried, but she had just gotten off the flight. It was an especially cold and windy night in England and all she wanted was to get into her bed. Even the perspective of having to spend the next two weeks locked up in her flat, didn’t make her crave home any less.
“Just call Niall. I’m sure he’d be happy to help.”
Katie rolled her eyes, glad her mother couldn’t see her. She mentioned asking Niall for help before Katie even left the country. But she did not want to contact Niall. Her and Niall weren’t exactly friends. Sure, they’ve known each other for years, but Niall Horan was Josh’s friend, not hers. Did she have a crush on her older brother’s best friend? Well, that was a whole other story and not the point at all.
She hadn’t even seen Niall in forever. The last time they were both back home was over a year ago. And now she was just supposed to call him up and ask for help? Katie did not like asking for help, having to rely on others, owe any favours. Especially from people who weren’t her family. Or family-like.
“Okay, mum, I’m getting into the cab. Have a good night, yeah?” she said, partly because she did indeed hail a taxi, but mostly because she didn’t want to go in circles in this conversation, they’ve been over it already. Sure, Katie didn’t really have anyone close enough to rely on at times like these, she had a few colleagues, but those were mates to go to a pub with once a month or have a small chat in the break room, not burden them with groceries, because of the mandatory quarantine upon her return.
Her mum sighed, knowing she couldn’t make her daughter do anything. “You too, sweetie. Keep in touch, please. Let me know if anything is wrong,” she said, the worry evident in her voice.
“Of course, love you,” Katie replied, her irritation dissolving slightly. There wasn’t a doubt in her head that her mum’s heart was in the right place, but she hated when people worried about her like that, some part of her always felt guilty for making them feel that way.
1st day of quarantine
“Hello?” Katie answered her ringing phone, curious about who it might be. It was usual for her to get unknown calls on her work phone, but not her private one.
“Kitty Kat!” She didn’t even have to ask to know who was on the other side of the line, not only the booming happy voice was familiar, but there was only one person who called her that. And even though she spent years telling him that the nickname was awful, after not hearing it for so long, it made her smile.
“Hello Niall,” she said, setting her laptop down on the coffee table and focusing on the call.
“Heard you need some help. I did hesitate to accept though, because I was quite hurt it was Josh calling me and not you.” He sounded exactly how she remembered, his voice laced with a joking undertone, his usual easygoing attitude seeping through.
“I… I’m fine, really.” Katie was gonna kill her brother. Maybe he wanted to help, but he made her look incompetent to take care of herself, which she did not appreciate.
“Oh, so you’re not stuck at home for the next two weeks with an empty fridge?” She didn’t even have to see Niall to know he just raised a brow in mock surprise. She could just tell from his tone. But she did wonder what he looked like now. Whether his hair was still natural brown instead of the blonde he used to dye it. Whether his shoulders were even wider than the last time she had seen him. Whether he still had a very small belly from all the beer he had been drinking or maybe he had abs now.
“Umm.. No, I have some leftover takeaway from last night,” she assured, just slightly embarrassed.
He sighed. “Look, it’s no problem, I promise. Just text me the list, I have a few hours before work anyway.”
Katie hesitated for a moment, but no matter how much she hated admitting it, she really did need help. “Okay, thank you.”
“Oh and text me your address, too. How does your brother not know where you live?” He sounded surprised, which she understood, considering she had a pretty good relationship with Josh.
She chuckled. “Because he’s a little prick who hasn’t visited me yet. And surprisingly enough, he never orders me any gifts.”
Niall snickered. “He’s twice your height, I think that’s barely ‘little’. And he’s older.”
“Heeeey, he’s not that much taller than me!” She whined offended, even though he was.
He let out a laugh, a true belly laugh, one she hadn’t heard in years actually. But she’d know that laugh anytime anywhere, he just had one of those special ones. “Sure, sure. And he’s not even that tall either, you’re just tiny.”
“No, I’m not!” She disagreed, although she definitely didn’t count to the tall part of the population. But she was not that short.
“That’s okay, you’re cute.” His words made Katie blush. She was sure he thought nothing of them, the words slipping easily off his tongue, like he didn’t even have to think about them. “Oh and don’t do that thing when you’ll try and buy everything for the next two weeks, I really don’t mind doing a few more grocery runs for you. Wouldn’t want you to get sick from unfresh foods.”
She licked her lips to keep from smiling, because of how thoughtful he was. “Thank you.”
“Okay, I’m hanging up then, it’s good to talk to you again, Kitty Kat.” The whole conversation made her heart beat a teeny tiny bit faster, the warmth of hearing a familiar voice and Niall being so nice, flowing through her entire body.
“You too, Niall. And thank you, I’ll send the list in a minute.”
So she did, trying to keep it as basic as possible, only the actual necessary products. Her intercom rang a mere hour later. She buzzed Niall in and waited behind closed doors, having to restrain herself from observing him through the peephole. He knocked on her door softly to let her know he was leaving the bags. She waited a few seconds, giving him time to leave safely, after all the whole point of this was avoiding interactions with other people. She brought the bags inside and pretty much sprinted to the window, hoping he hadn’t left yet. She was lucky enough to have a window going out onto the entrance of the building.
It was a few seconds before Niall appeared outside. Katie didn’t have a clear view of him, especially not his face, but she noticed his hair was darker, long gone was the blonde he used to dye it into. He seemed taller, though that was pretty unlikely. More muscular. He looked grown up. Seeing him like this, after quite some time, she felt a slight flutter in her stomach. It made her excited. And Katie wondered whether he thought about her like that, imagining what she looked like now, whether she changed, what hairstyle was she wearing, whether she gained weight or slimmed down, what kind of makeup did she like now. Was he excited to find out?
She didn’t like admitting it, but truth be told, she always had a little crush on Niall Horan. And Katie hated it, because it was such a cliche, liking your older brother’s best friend. But she did. Niall was funny and kind. He loved bickering with her, but it wasn’t like her brother’s teasing, it made her feel special. He had a nickname just for her. Kitty Kat came to be because Josh liked calling her Kate, knowing she hated it, it not being her actual name. But Niall’s nickname didn’t make her irritated, no matter how much she pretended it did. It made her warm inside, like she was important enough to be referred to in an individual way.
But she had to stop thinking those thoughts Niall was helping her because he had a good heart. And because he was a family friend. That was it. He did not have a special place in his heart for her, no matter how much she imagined he maybe did in the past.
She moved from the window a few minutes after he disappeared and went to unpack the groceries. She was irritated there was no receipt, Niall was supposed to let her know how much she owed him, having refused when she offered to transfer some money beforehand. But there was another piece of paper. A post-it note stuck to the carton of eggs.
please let me know as soon as you need anything else. i’ll be doing some shopping for myself later in the week, so it’s no problem. happy to help, N xx
She refused to dwell on the xs. But the note as a whole was very sweet. In fact, Katie may or may not have put it on her fridge.
5th day of quarantine
Katie was trying to work through the splitting headache, but it was not going well. The last three days, she felt like the headache and burning eyes were her only constant companions. Other than that, she was feeling okay. No cough, no temperature, nothing. It was just because she was staring at the screen all day (and some nights), working and working, crunching numbers, filling and checking spreadsheets. Her eye actually started twitching yesterday, which wasn’t a good sign. Unfortunately, she ran out of ibuprofen. And magnesium. She was quite desperate, the pain making it near impossible to focus on anything.
So eventually, she gave in, sending a text to Niall.
very sorry to be a bother, but could you maybe possibly go to the pharmacy for me?
She did not expect her phone to start ringing just a second after. Since that first day, Niall hadn’t called her. He checked in on her a few times (almost every day, sometimes just sending her memes or funny things that happened to him, instead of starting the conversation with “are you alright?”), but it was always through texts. But now he was calling her and she was so shocked, it must have been at least a fourth ring when she answered.
“Hiya, sorry, it’s okay if -” she started.
He didn’t let her finish though, rushing out his questions, sounding a little bit worried. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling alright?”
“Yeah, I’m okay, just ran out of ibuprofen,” she explained.
“Do you have any symptoms?” he asked, not entirely convinced.
“No, no, it’s not that,” she assured. “Just a splitting headache from too much work and computer time. And also a magnesium deficiency, probably.”
“Are you sure?” he asked again, but this time his voice was much calmer, almost back to normal.
“Yes, I’ve been drinking a shit ton of coffee everyday to even attempt to keep up with my work and I’m just a bit wiped out.”
“Okay, I can’t really go out right now, I’m at work, but -”
This time Katie was the one who cut him off. “Oh, it’s fine, really.”
“BUT,” he continued despite the interruption, his voice a bit more stern, “I just texted my roommate, so it shouldn’t take too long.”
If only he could see her now, he would notice a look of horror that crossed her face. “No, Niall, I don’t want to bother anyone.”
“Oh stop, he’s a nice guy and he can leave his work for half an hour. He owed me a favour anyway.” Niall made it seem like the most trivial thing and she really did need the medicine, so she gave up fighting.
“Well, be sure to thank him for me,” she said instead. “Buy him a nice beer.”
He chuckled. “Okay, I will. But you’re really okay? You’d tell me if you were getting sick, right?”
“Well, it’s not like you could come take care of me anyway.” She meant it as a joke, expecting Niall to let out another of his signature chuckles, but he did quite the opposite, sounding a bit exasperated.
“Why not?”
“I can’t exactly see people at the moment, remember?” She said gently, not really sure about his mood.
Niall huffed. “Do you really think I’d care about that? Just let you be alone if you were sick?”
She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. All she wanted to ask was ‘why wouldn’t you’, but she bit her lip, too afraid, not wanting to make things weird just because she probably thought a bit too much about his words.
Katie took a breath before speaking, trying to sound lighthearted. “Well, it’s good I’m not sick, so you don’t have to risk your own health.”
“You’d let me know though, right?” He persisted.
“Yeah, I would.” She wanted to add another joke saying she’d need someone to get her medicine, but the mood was not light and funny, the atmosphere suddenly very thick.
“Alright, good.” It seemed like he finally exhaled after getting his answer. “Well, I have to go back to work, I’ll text you when Pete brings the meds.”
“Okay. Thank you,” was all Katie could muster out through her fighting thoughts.
~~
how’s the headache?
completely gone, thanks to your brilliant roommate
heeeey i’m the one who sent him on that quest!
hahahaha
i know
thank you, again
damn, i never thought i’d be saying so many thank yous to niall horan
can’t say i’m complaining
but on a more serious note, do you like pop quizzes?
hmmm yeah? i think i only did pub quiz like once or twice, but it was fun
why?
me and a few mates are doing one tomorrow, you should join
how bad is your memory? i can’t go to the pub
who’s talking about a pub?
we’re doing it on zoom
oh
it’s still staring at the screen, but it’s not work and it seems like you need some fun
yeah, i guess i kinda do. thank you, but i don’t want to impose
you won’t, i just invited you
still…
it’s just a few mates, i promise it’s all good. i actually already told them you’re joining
and they hate being blown off
oh yeah, no pressure
haha no but seriously, if you don’t want to that’s fine, but i think you’ll enjoy it
okay. thank you. you’ll send me the details?
of course
should i prepare anything?
nope, just yourself. and your brilliant mind
we’re switching, someone else preparing questions everytime, so you have to wait your turn
The mention of her becoming a part of their regular quiz made her stomach flutter slightly. She dared having this little hope of actually becoming friends with Niall, or rather maintaining some form of contact, but this was still unexpected. But also very nice to know he kind of wanted that too.
6th day of quarantine
When Katie’s phone started ringing and she noticed her brother’s face lighting up the screen, she smiled. The last time they had spoken was when she called to give him a piece of mind for calling Niall for her, but she actually loved and appreciated her brother very much. Maybe they weren’t the absolute closest, but they had a good relationship. There was this knowledge deep down that they’d jump through fire for the other, if need be.
“Hiya,” she answered, wrapping up the email she was writing (she might or might not be getting some work done on a Saturday).
“Why is Niall calling me asking about your favourite alcohol?” Josh asked right away, no hello needed. He sounded very curious, loving to pry into her life a bit.
Katie laughed, having received a text from Niall informing her of a package waiting outside her door, which turned out to be three bottles of wine and a note saying quizzes are no fun without booze.
“What can I say, he takes good care of my needs,” she replied, half-jokingly.
“I told him it’s whiskey,” her brother informed, very much knowing she did not like whiskey. The only drink she was able to swallow was whiskey sour, but it was definitely not her favourite.
“Wow, thanks for that, Jojo,” she said, her words dripping with sarcasm.
He whined at the nickname he hated, but had to endure since they were kids.
“He did call bullshit though and asked about wine. So I told him red, naturally.” Just by his tone, she could say he had a shit-eating grin on his face, very proud of himself.
Katie furrowed her brows. All three bottles that were sitting in her fridge currently were white. Either Niall knew her brother well enough to catch the lies, which he probably did after years of friendship, or he somehow knew her.
“You’re a dick,” she laughed.
“That’s what older brothers are for, Kate. But in a serious matter, I hope you’re not getting too buddy-buddy, I couldn’t stand you two ganging up on me.”
She bit her lip, deciding it was probably best to not mention her plans for tonight. It wasn’t a big deal anyway, Niall was just a nice guy, who was probably feeling sorry for her, because she had no friends here and was sitting alone for days, spending most of her time working.
“Oh we’re gonna be best friends in no time, you should be very scared.”
~~
Katie was nervous. In fact, she was nervous about a number of things. First of all, the quiz with Niall’s friends. She didn’t know any of those people and she was scared of making a fool of herself. Secondly, she was about to skype with Niall. He offered to have a little chat before the quiz, so he could introduce the group a little, explain who’s who and all that. But it was going to be the first time she’d truly see him and he, her. Well, through the screen of course, but still.
And now she was worrying she might have gone a little overboard with her look. It was nice to have a reason to dress up in something fancier than leggings and an oversized sweater, to even put some makeup on. But, because it was the first time Niall will see her in quite a bit (especially up close), she made an actual effort. (But she didn’t care about that, she was not wondering whether he’ll even pay attention to her looks, not at all).
When the music she was playing suddenly cut off, replaced with the ringtone of an incoming skype call, her throat instantly dried up. She took a sip of her wine before answering, her laptop screen taken over by Niall’s smiling face, literally brightening it up.
He was wearing a button down, it wasn’t necessarily an elegant one, but still a nice one, his hair looked styled, like he actually took the time to tame it. It seemed like he made sure to look good, like he cared. And it excited her because maybe, just maybe, he wanted to look good for her too. Or maybe he liked someone from his friend group and was dressing up for them.
“I see you’re putting the wine to good use. Did I pick a good one?” he asked, taking a sip of his beer, a proud grin on his face.
Katie smiled, her nerves slightly easing. No matter how much he might have changed and grown, he was still familiar.
“Yes, thank you. Although I am a bit worried what kind of idea you have of me based on the amount of bottles you got me,” she joked, taking another sip.
He let out a booming laugh, one that made something in her flutter. “Nah, there’s just never enough wine,” he shrugged. “Although personally I'm more of a beer guy. But you have over a week more of quarantine, you may need it.”
“I heard you sought some guidance from my brother,” she inquired with a raised brow, sly grin taking over her features.
Niall grunted, covering his face in embarrassment. To her, it was incredibly cute that he went to so much trouble just to get her something she liked. “Did he really sell me out? What an asshole.”
“Yup,” she replied, actually proud of her brother for telling her. “But, surprisingly enough, you didn’t buy red wine. Nor whiskey, thankfully.”
“Yeah, I figured he was lying, I remember how much you both loved teasing each other,” he chuckled just at the memory of many fights and banters. “Apparently, still can’t let the opportunity pass.”
“Oh, never,” she laughed along with him. “Okay, talk to me about your friends. What should I expect?”
“Wait, before we get to that, why do you actually need to quarantine? Were you on some crazy vacations?” he asked the question that’s been on his mind ever since his roommate asked him about it.
“Oh. Well, not really, I was visiting Frankie, that’s my best friend from uni. She lives in Brussels now. I was thinking of cancelling, but we spent most of the time just staying in or being really careful, you know, not taking any unnecessary risks, so I guess the worst part was the flight.” She shrugged, constantly wishing her two best friends weren’t scattered around the world.
“I see,” he nodded in understanding. “Had a good time, then?”
“Oh yeah, very! Haven’t seen her in forever. Really needed that as well. I, um…,” she tucked her hair behind her ear timidly, looking down for a second. “I don’t have many friends here, really. As you might have noticed,” she chuckled nervously.
“Finding it hard to meet people?” he asked with furrowed brows, but didn’t even wait for a response, another question coming to his mind. “Actually, how long have you lived here? I think the last I’d heard, you were in Chicago?”
“Seattle,” she corrected. “Yeah, I left like 7 months ago. I got offered a transfer here and a little promotion, I guess, a chance to prove myself, which was an amazing opportunity. I had to go to San Francisco for 4 weeks of training, before coming here though.” She explained, hoping he wouldn’t dig deeper on the subject, because it was not a conversation she wanted to have with him right now.
“That sounds amazing, congrats,” he said simply and she exhaled in relief.
“Thanks,” she chuckled. “But yeah, so I’ve been here a while, but haven’t really made friends yet.”
“I guess working from home is not really helpful, huh?” he observed.
“No, it definitely isn’t.”
“Well, I’m always around if you want to hang out. Or go out once this whole pandemic calms down,” he proposed and she smiled appreciatively. “Okay, let’s give you some dirt on my mates, then.”
~~
The quiz was actually very fun. Katie hadn’t laughed that much in a bit, it would be a very long time if she hadn’t counted her time in Belgium. She met six of Niall’s friends, two of them were friends from work, plus a girlfriend of one of them, one was a friend from his little soccer team and the last two were friends from uni, who were also a couple. Everyone was incredibly nice, making sure she felt welcomed and included, going as far as explaining most of their inside jokes.
They had this tradition of one question dedicated to each person taking part, so they gave Katie a minute to come up with her own question about herself, since they didn’t know her well enough. She panicked a bit, her mind going blank, so she went with what came to her mind first, which was who she went to prom with, the answers being her ex that she broke up with a week before, her best friend or alone. Surprisingly, no one got it right, not even Niall.
“Did you really go to prom with your ex?” he asked, when they talked right after the quiz. It just so happened that they ended up being the only two left on the call, everyone else disconnecting as soon as they were finished.
“Yup,” she laughed, filling up her wine glass. They were both pretty tipsy already, on their path to drunk. “But we were friendly! You know, we were just going to different unis and stuff, it just wasn’t that serious. And everyone else was already taken!”
“Well, you could have always asked me,” he said, shrugging nonchalantly.
“Are you kidding? You used to tease me about it whenever I saw you my senior year!”
He did, whenever he came home from uni (which was a lot during his first year) and saw her, always asking whether she had a hot date yet.
“Yeah, ‘cause I wanted to take you!” Niall exclaimed.
“What? Now that’s just lies,” she chuckled incredulously.
“Absolutely not, I had a little crush on you.” Niall’s eyes were focused on his fingers picking at the beer bottle label.
“No, you didn’t,” she shook her head, although her mind went straight back to the question about him in the quiz - who was his first crush. The answer choices were his teacher, his friend’s mum or his friend’s sister. As soon as it was asked, he whined, a blush flushing his cheeks. But when it was announced that the correct answer was his friend’s sister, she was pretty sure his eyes were trained on her, like he wanted to see her reaction. As much as a rational part of her brain didn’t want to misinterpret the whole situation and get false hope, she did wonder if there was a possibility that it might have been her.
“Excuse me, I think I know my feelings better, thank you very much,” he said, pretending to be offended. “I just hid it well. Maybe too well.” Niall added the last part as an afterthought, quietly, but not enough for her to miss it.
Maybe it was the wine, or maybe just Niall’s (virtual) presence that had her feeling brave, like he made her giddily nervous, but also brought a sense of safety and calm. Whatever it was, she was feeling brave enough to say, “funny, I had a crush on you, too. What a cliche, huh?”
He scrunched his brows in confusion. “How so?”
She shrugged, little half-smile on her face. “Liking your brother’s best friend.”
“More cliche than liking your best friend’s little sister?” He inquired, before taking a gulp of beer.
She laughed, her mind a bit too fuzzy to comprehend that they just admitted to liking each other. Once upon a time, at least. “I guess we’re just a pair of walking cliches.” Katie quirked as she hid her timid smile behind her wine glass.
10th day of quarantine
Katie was fucked, there was no other way to put it. She was usually so good with planning and thinking ahead, always trying to be prepared, but at the most unfortunate time, it slipped her mind. She forgot her period was coming, or rather she forgot she was running out of tampons. And now she was stuck in her apartment, pondering if the possible fee for violating the quarantine is worth saving her from the massive embarrassment. Even though she was actually too responsible to go out now.
If Niall was a good friend, she wouldn’t have that much of a problem asking him for it. She would have no problem asking him if he was a woman. And she would definitely have less of a problem, if she didn’t like him.
But, no matter what, she had a problem and he was pretty much the only person she could count on to help her right now. So she swallowed her pride, pulled all of her courage and rang Niall, because she felt like, no matter how embarrassing, the situation required a proper call, not a text.
He answered on the second ring. “Hey, everything good? You’re not dying, are ya?” His words were joking, but his voice had a serious undertone, he even sounded a little worried.
“A bit,” she chuckled nervously, “but not because of the obvious. You’re not going to the shop today by any chance?”
“What do you need?” he asked, instead of answering her question.
“Well, this will be awkward, but…” Katie started, but hesitated for a second, biting her lip.
“Hit me,” he encouraged.
“I got my period and I forgot I have like one tampon left.” Even though she obviously couldn’t see him, she closed her eyes, like her shame burned them, spitting out the words as fast as possible.
“Oh,” he let out a little sound of surprise, clearing his throat right after to mask it. “Alright, just send me which ones you want and I’ll get them.”
“I hate being a burden.”
“Stop it, you’re not a burden,” he reassured right away. “I was actually going to the shop anyway, need a few things. Just text me, so I don’t forget and add whatever else you want, yeah?”
Niall’s words made her smile, she wasn’t sure if he really was going shopping, or just said it to make her feel better, but she just appreciated his reaction, not making a big deal out of it, just accepting her ask and thinking nothing more of it. She knew a lot of guys who would be so lost hearing that kind of request, but Niall was nothing if not alright. And that was just another great quality of his that she needed to add to the list in her mind that was growing scarily quick.
“Okay, thank you. You’re saving my life, kinda.”
“Mmm, I’m sure we’ll figure out a way for you to pay me back, no worries,” he laughed, before ending the call.
An hour later, Katie got the text to pick up the bag from her door. There was no sign of Niall, as usual, but there was a bag with not only the tampons she asked for, but also with two different types of pads, a bag of chips, frozen pizza, some fresh fruits, four different chocolate bars and cookies n cream ice cream. There was also another note inside.
thought some of those might help make you feel better, N xx
And there he was with the xs again. It was probably just the way he signed everything. Either way, the care package was incredibly thoughtful, so Katie picked up her phone to text him.
was not expecting a package like that. that’s a lot of stuff. but thank you, that’s very sweet
just wasn’t sure what you like. El always ate pretty much sweets only, while Lil loved stuffing herself with salty snacks and fast foods
Elaine and Liliana were his older sisters, Lil was married and with a child on the way, five years older than Niall, while Elaine was just two years older than him. Maybe that was the reason why he had no problem helping her today, having grown up with sisters always made guys act a bit different, or at least that’s what her mum always said.
wasn’t sure about the ice cream flavour though, so played it a bit safe
cookies and creams is a good one
what’s your favourite?
pistachio
okay, noted
Katie couldn’t explain why, but even little comments like that made her heart beat just a tiny bit faster. It wasn’t just because he was attentive to details, but it was like he wanted to know more about her, to soak every piece of information in. And then there were comments like that, the kind that made her think about the future, not just the immediate one right after her quarantine, but the actual future. Will they just stay friendly? Become best friends? Or will one of them be brave enough to make the first step into more? Katie didn’t know if there was more in the cards. When it came to her, it wasn’t just that stupid crush from her youth that came back. The feelings grew and were constantly growing, as she got to know more and more of Niall. But she didn’t know how he was feeling. Maybe there were signs, but she was never that great at reading them. Time will tell if one of them will pluck the courage to take that leap of faith, or if she just misread the situations. A part of her was very anxious about it, but another part was excited. And all of her was hopeful.
12th day of quarantine
“Catch me up on your life. I feel like the last time I really knew what was happening with you was high school,” Niall inquired, folding his hands to rest his chin on top. He looked adorable like this.
It was a Friday night and they were skyping. Just the two of them, having drinks over video call. As it turns out, they do their pop quiz every other week and so he asked her if she wanted to hang out with him to survive her last days of solitude.
“Oh, you think you knew what was going on in my life back then?” Katie chuckled, a sly grin on her face.
“Well, I was in your house like every other day,” he reasoned.
“Please, even I didn’t know what was happening in my life at that time.” She joked, because, if she was being honest, high school was a mess.
He laughed. “Yeah, okay, point taken. But still, how was uni for you? How did you end up at the company you’re working for now?”
“Uni was fun. Stressful, most of the time, but I have some good memories. And the company was just a fluke,” she shrugged, taking a sip of her wine, the last bottle of the three Niall bought her last week.
“Was it hard leaving Seattle behind?” he asked.
“Um..” she got embarrassed, nibbling on her bottom lip, clearly thinking over her answer. “Yes and no, I guess. I mean… I had a boyfriend,” she admitted, going into the story she didn’t like retelling, but actually didn’t mind that much right now. Not only because she trusted Niall, but because she was over that whole situation, even if it still brought up some unpleasant memories. “We had been together for about two years. And he didn’t want to move here with me. Like, didn’t even consider it. Just outright told me to reject the offer, basically. And most of our friends took his side. I guess they were mostly his friends to begin with, but it still stung. So yeah, it was hard, but there also really wasn’t much left for me there.” When she finished, she shrugged again, hoping to look quite unbothered, as it really was just a thing of the past. Katie took another sip of wine, while Niall looked at her with a look that she couldn’t decipher. But thankfully, it wasn’t pitiful.
“Okay, first, I’m sorry,” he said after a second. “But second, that was such a dick move. I mean, it was a huge opportunity for you and he expected you to just give it up? Like an ultimatum? Not even ‘we can work it out’ or something?” He sounded genuinely surprised, even a little disgusted, which made Katie smile slightly, his reaction making her feel better.
“It was more like ‘if you’re even considering taking it, then fuck you’, so yeah, pretty much,” she said, her words feeling much lighter than before.
“Wow,” Niall chuckled humorlessly. “He really did not know how lucky he was to have you.”
“Stoooop,” she said, her face growing hot.
“No, I’m serious. I’d say good riddance to him.”
“I kinda see it now too, to be honest,” she admitted, a faint smile on her lips. “It did make me realise how he didn’t really love me. Noticed a bunch of not great behaviours, actually. So hey, it’s all for the better.”
“Oh for sure.”
“What about you? Any tragic love story?” Katie asked, reaching for her glass.
“Umm…” he took a big gulp of his beer, while she raised her brow, indicating it was her time to grill him. “Kinda the opposite of your story, actually,” Niall admitted.
“You’re joking,” she gasped, her eyes growing wider.
“Nope,” he shook his head, a half-smile on his lips. “I followed my girlfriend here. She got a great job, so I came with. It wasn’t far anyway, but yeah, she was the reason. I did say no to a proper job opportunity myself for that, actually. And then she dumped me four months later. Taking most of our mutual friends with her as well.”
Katie was pretty much speechless. She did hear he had a girlfriend, they moved in together here, but she hadn’t heard when it ended and definitely not how. “Wow,” a shaky laugh escaped her lips. “Bad breakup?” she asked after a second.
Niall licked his lips. “Not the worst, I mean, there wasn’t any cheating or anything, although she did get another boyfriend like two weeks later. But it did suck. We got a flat together and everything. I get that you can fall out of love with someone or whatever, but I did rearrange my life for her, so you know, if she was having doubts back then…” He let his voice linger. It’s been a while since he thought about her, even the last time they accidentally crossed paths a few months ago, he hadn’t really felt anything anymore.
“She should have said it,” Katie finished his thought and he nodded.
“Yeah. It felt a little out of the blue. But it’s been over a year now, so I’ve dealt with that. It was the most exciting story about my life, though. Other than that it’s just work, footie, pub quizzes and booze,” he chuckled, taking another gulp of his beer, as to prove his point.
“A boring life is the best kind, though,” she noticed. “I think it’s so underrated. I’d take stability over drama anyday.”
“Yes! Thank you!” Niall got excited, scooting a little closer and even pointing a finger at her through the screen. “That’s what I think too.”
“Great minds think alike,” she laughed, moving her finger between them two.
It was probably the most personal conversation she had ever had with Niall. And it felt good. Maybe not exactly because their stories were good, but because she felt like there was a certain level of understanding. He was such an easy person to talk to, no matter the subject. And this conversation, hearing his story, made her appreciate him even more, especially his character. Being willing to sacrifice himself for love was a big thing. She just hoped that he still had it in him, that the past didn’t make him close his heart off, but by his honesty and vulnerability, she didn’t think that was the case. And that really did make her happy.
They were quiet for a moment, at first just kind of looking at each other with soft eyes, feeling somehow connected, even through a computer screen. But then Katie furrowed her brows before crossing her eyes, which made Niall also pull a face, before they both burst out laughing.
“Well, I didn’t know the friends who took her side, but the ones you have now are pretty great,” she said, closing the subject. “Thanks for inviting me to the quiz last week, it was a lot of fun.”
“Thank you for joining us. And you know you’re already invited to the next one.”
Katie smiled, looking down for a second. When she raised her eyes again, Niall was giving her a weird look, like he couldn’t figure her out.
“What?” she asked.
He shrugged. “You say thank you too much.”
She chuckled, “well, I was raised right.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to say it for everything. We’re actually just hoping you won’t blow us off when your quarantine is over,” he said.
“You? Never,” she said, her words making matching grins appear on both their faces.
1 day after quarantine
To be honest, Katie didn’t know what she was doing. It was the first day of her freedom and she invited Niall for dinner. She was making a dish that was his favourite when they were younger, her mum used to always tell Josh to invite Niall around, when she was cooking it. She wanted to do something nice for him, to repay him for all the help. Another reason might have been the fact that she really wanted to see him. As nice as texting and skype was, she wanted to be face to face with him, hear his voice clearly, not slightly distorted by her laptop speakers. Maybe even touch him.
To say she was nervous would be an understatement. She went crazy yesterday, cleaning the entire flat, then ironing half of her clothes, because she couldn’t decide on one outfit she might want to wear. She eventually settled on a casual black skirt, with a slightly sheer, emerald blouse. Her hair was pinned up a bit messily, while she still hadn’t decided if she’s gonna keep it that way or let it loose, or maybe tie it up… She put some makeup on, but didn’t want to overdo it. It was just a casual dinner with a childhood friend, after all.
Just seconds after she turned off the stove, her doorbell rang. It was like the sound went to her heart instead of her ears, making it beat just a little bit faster, excited about the person waiting outside.
Katie pulled off her apron quickly and went to welcome her guest, finally.
“Hiya,” Niall said as soon as she pulled the door open. He squeezed in next to her, handing her a bottle of wine and taking off his jacket. “Oh my god, do I smell chilli?” he asked, turning to face her as soon as he hung it up.
Katie smiled, just seeing him made her happy, but his words and the excited glint in his eyes made her even happier. “Yeah. I got my mum’s recipe, so hopefully it’ll be at least half as good as hers,” she shrugged innocently, trying to check him out as discreetly as possible.
He looked good, the screen did him no justice and he looked good even then. In the flesh he looked more buff, definitely spent his lockdown working out. His hair looked softer and more fluffy and there was a slight stubble on his face. The simple t-shirt he was wearing clung beautifully to his bicep.
“That recipe is like your family’s best kept secret,” he said, eyes wide.
She laughed. “It’s really not, my mum just didn’t want yours to have it, because she loved you coming over and praising her.”
“Oh and you’re hoping for that same praise, aren’t you?” Niall asked, with a raised brow.
She chuckled again, shrugging her shoulder like she didn’t even know what he was talking about. And then he took a step closer and wrapped her in a hug.
“It’s good to finally see you properly. You look beautiful,” he said so close to her ear, she could feel his breath on her neck, raising goosebumps on its way.
It only took her a second to settle into the hug, her arms around his waist, her face nuzzled into his neck, breathing in the mixture of freshly washed clothes and his cologne. The thing was, Niall was an amazing hugger. She knew it before, but now that he was slightly bigger, he was even better. And he smelt amazing. Katie had to force herself to pull away before it became an awkwardly long embrace.
“You look good as well, it’s nice to actually hang out.”
“Thanks for inviting me.”
“Thanks for all the help. Come on, I just turned the stove off, so we should eat while it’s hot.”
She gestured for him to go first into the kitchen, creating herself an opportunity to unashamedly look at his ass, which looked pretty good in his dark grey trousers.
Katie had been stressing all day if they’d have something to talk about. They had skyped twice and texted throughout most days, they were about to run out of topics to discuss at some point, right?
Well, apparently not anytime soon. They spent the whole meal talking between bites, Niall pretty much moaning at the first taste of chilli, which made Katie laugh unattractively, covering her mouth in an attempt to keep the food from spilling out. But the conversation just flowed so naturally between them. They actually sat at the table, in front of empty plates for almost an hour, just chatting, before they ran out of wine which eventually prompted them to move. They cleared the plates, opened another bottle of wine, this time the white one Niall had brought, and moved to the sofa.
“Can I ask you something?” Niall asked, waiting a second after they settled, while she was quickly responding to a text from her mum.
“Sure,” she said, putting her phone down and twisting her body towards him, one leg bent on the couch.
He looked down for a second, then licked his lips, before meeting her eyes again carefully. “Is this a date?”
“Well…” She bit her lip. “It was meant as a thank you, but I guess…” She hesitated for a second, but then saw a small flash of light in his eyes, which gave her that little bit of courage she needed. “It could be. If you want it to be.”
“See, that’s a tricky question,” he said with a grin, which made Katie raise her brows in question. “Because yes, I would very much like to be dating you, but it’s also weird not being the one organising the date, especially the first one. I just showed up, while you planned the whole thing.”
She laughed, her heart feeling instantly lighter, looking at him with admiration. “You can always take a lead with the second one.”
“Deal.”
He brushed the hair that escaped her updo out of her face, putting it behind her ear. Katie was pretty sure he was about to kiss her, but she didn’t want to wait a second longer, his earlier words giving her enough courage to lean in and be the one to initiate the kiss.
He tasted like wine and chilli, probably exactly the same way she did, but somehow the kiss was sweet, their mouths finding their rhythm easily, almost like they were meant to work together.
When they parted, she let out a soft laugh. One of disbelief. And happiness. She just kissed Niall. And now she had a bunch of butterflies fluttering in her stomach.
“What are you laughing about? Was it that terrible?” he asked, his voice a little bit panicked.
“No, god no, it was great,” Katie rushed to assure him, in case he couldn’t tell her emotions by the huge grin on her face. “It’s just… Unexpected. I really did not think we would end up like this.”
“How so?” His arm was holding her hip, as if he was making sure she didn’t pull away.
“I mean… Well, did you ever think we’d be here?” she asked him, not really sure how to explain her thoughts.
“Um… Not really, no. I used to think we’d date at some point, but when we had both gone to uni that hope kinda died,” he admitted.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Why are ya so surprised?” He chuckled at her reaction.
“I mean…” Katie hesitated for a moment, reaching for his hand to play with the ring on his finger. “Yeah, we apparently had a crush on each other back in the day. And we’ve known each other forever, but we also didn’t know each other that well, not really.”
“Yeah,” Niall sighed in understanding, “it’s this weird feeling of knowing someone for years while also just truly learning about them now. But it’s not necessarily bad though, is it?”
“Not at all, I like learning more about you. Getting closer to you.” She gave him a gentle smile, which he returned right away,
“That feeling is very mutual.”
“Life just works in a weird way, doesn’t it? We’ve been living pretty close to each other for months without even realising. And we haven’t spoken for over a year, but now it just…”
“Something clicked,” he shrugged, flicking her palm to trace mindless patterns on the back of it.
“Yeah, it did.”
“Maybe it was meant to be.” His words were so light, but at the same time, they held so much conviction, they made Katie’s heart soar.
“I guess we’ll have to wait and see, huh?” she asked cheekily. “I think it all depends on what you’ll prepare for that second date.”
He chuckled. “Oh wow, well, that chilli is gonna be hard to beat. But I feel like all the shopping I’ve done for you should count for something, you know, like a little advance.”
“Oh great, we haven’t even started dating properly and you’re already slacking. Nice one, Horan.”
Her words made him let out a booming laugh, his head thrown back. And all she could do was look at him and admire the beautiful man beside her, thanking the universe for giving them a chance to find each other.
~~
“Do you have a morning shift tomorrow?” Katie asked, when another episode had ended. They talked some more, then kissed some more, before eventually settling down to watch some tv, enjoying the quiet moments of just holding each other, having more than enough words between them that night.
Even the small fact of him choosing a tv show to start watching together instead of a movie made her do a little mental note in her head. Because it was one more thing indicating that he wanted to do this again. If she even had any doubts still.
“Mmmm, no,” he says, rubbing at his eye sleepily. “I’m starting at two in the afternoon.”
Katie learned he had 3 possible work shifts when he texted her at midnight that he’s at the shop and they’ve run out of the cereal she wanted. He was an IT support specialist, which she found very interesting, although she didn’t understand a lot of his explanation when she asked him about his job.
“Do you wanna stay the night?” she asked. When he looked at her surprised, a flush appeared on her cheeks. “Just to watch another episode and go to sleep, I didn’t mean… like..”
“No, yeah, of course, I wouldn’t want to…” he rushed to say.
“Oh, you wouldn’t?” She looked at him with an arched brow, playful smile on her face. “So you’re not into me?”
“What? Shit, no, of course I am, come on, you should know that.” He raised his brows and both their minds went back to a moment when they were kissing earlier (well, some people would probably call it making out) and she felt his hardening dick on her tight.
She bit her lip to sustain a smile, because it was nice to feel that way, to feel wanted, but also for the other person to be open about it, not afraid to admit his feelings towards her. It’s been a while since she felt like that. Sexy, free, confident. A bit vulnerable, but safe.
“Yeah, I guess I do,” she said with a wicked smile, planting a kiss on his lips.
It was crazy how comfortable she felt with him. She didn’t hesitate to cuddle up to his body, didn’t think about going in for a kiss, even despite it being just hours since their first one. With Niall, there were just no doubts, not anymore.
“So sleep or one more episode?” he asked, his arm tucking her closer to him.
“Are you gonna fall asleep halfway through?”
“Nope, I’m pretty awake now, your proposal made me come alive again,” he chuckled, tickling her side, which made her yelp in surprise.
So they watched two more episodes before eventually getting ready to sleep. Katie took pride in being a good host, providing Niall with fresh towels and a toothbrush, before he even got the chance to ask. She also made him take the bathroom first, so she could put the blanket covering her bed and all the extra pillows away. She did a quick scroll through her socials, deliberately avoiding a text from Frankie, asking how the night had gone. She could wait until tomorrow, when Katie would call her for a proper gossip.
“Do you mind if I sleep in just my boxers?” Niall asked, walking out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped securely around his waist, his glistening chest on full display. He had definitely been working out. “I can wear a shirt too, if you want me to.”
Katie shook her head. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, I’m good with whatever,” she said, passing him with a smile to take her turn getting ready to sleep.
She tried to be as quick as possible, removing her makeup and brushing teeth. When she emerged, Niall was tucked in bed, on the left side, which was exactly the one that had always been empty, since she slept on the right.
Her pajamas were simple, consisting of cotton shorts and a simple t-shirt. After all, they still had time for something sexier, you shouldn’t play all your cards right away.
“First date and you already got me into bed,” he said watching her climb under the sheets. “Damn, woman, you’re good.”
There was a huge grin on his face, which made it impossible for her not to mirror his expression.
“You took my side,” she said, fluffing her pillow before lying down. The bedside lamp was the only source of light in the room, which bathed them both in the golden glow. Niall couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, she looked stunning.
“Oh shit, sorry, it actually looked less slept on,” he started explaining, making a move to get up. “We can switch.”
Katie laughed, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “I’m just messing with you, you got it right.”
“Uhhh I hate you,” he whined, burrowing his head in the pillow. For a second he wished he really was on the wrong side, because then the pillow would smell of Katie and not fabric softener.
“Oh but you don’t. I’m pretty sure you said you liked me, actually,” she chuckled, loving the joking atmosphere that felt so natural between them.
“You’re lucky I have a soft spot for you,” he turned his head to look at her again. She moved closer, resting her head on the edge of his pillow, before moving after a second to plant a kiss on his lips.
It was impossible to not feel how his lips stretched into a smile during the kiss. It seemed like they spent the whole night just smiling and kissing. But neither of them were complaining.
With Niall it was all so easy. Sure, at times she might be a bit nervous, especially right before seeing him or talking to him, but once she felt his presence, most of it went away. She felt free. He had seen her do so much stupid shit over the years, she just knew he wouldn’t judge or be put off. It was just that level of comfort and familiarity, that was what he brought her. And she didn’t understand how, but at the same time he made her feel giddy and excited. It was like he calmed her and made her heart beat faster at the same time. It was against her logic, but she decided not to question it. Because there was no question to her that it was a good thing. She liked that feeling. She craved that feeling.
It was crazy how unexpectedly things could happen. Two weeks ago she didn’t even want to call him, not wanting to bother him, any relationship between them vanished over more than a year ago. And now she wanted to keep in contact with him as much as possible. She wanted to talk to him everyday. Somehow, over such a short time, he became a constant part of her day, whether it was sharing memes, random thoughts or having actual deep conversations. She never even thought she’d be here, falling for someone so fast. Least of all, falling for Josh’s best friend. But that was a funny thing about life and love, it crept up on you when you least expected it. And sometimes, it did so in simply the best way.
The pandemic was a horrific thing that affected countless people’s lives, but in a surprising twist of events, it gave Katie a light in such a dark time. And that light went by the name of none other than Niall Horan.
#1dff#1dffquarantine#1dff challenge#niall horan fanfiction#niall horan oneshot#one direction fanfiction#one direction one shot#niall horan fan fiction#niall horan one shot#one direction fan fiction#one direction oneshot#eyn
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Essential Avengers: Avengers #243: Chain of Command!
May, 1984
In this issue! The Vision takes command! Scarlet Witch fights a fire! Starfox battles bandits! And Earth’s Mightiest Heroes return from the Secret Wars!
Its one of my favorite sub-genres of comic covers! ‘Here’s a bunch of stuff going on in this issue’
Vision and his new hat make a good central element for the various other happenings to happen around. It doesn’t work quite as well as the Wizard’s control panel but its still good.
Last times on Avengers: Vision walked into an invisible wall and was stuck in a healing tube for a while. His recovery was hastened by Starfox connecting him to the Titan supercomputer ISAAC. While tube-bound, Vision detected several anomalous energy surges. Leaving his tube, Vision led the Avengers to Central Park to investigate where a large structure appeared and whisked away Hawkeye, Wasp, Thor, Captain Marvel, Captain America, and She-Hulk!
Bring them back, anomalous energy surge!
This time: Vision faces the press.
Not only have many Avengers vanished, so have the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, and others. But its too early for Heroes Reborn!
Vision: “Certain irresponsible people have gone so far as to suggest a conspiracy to rob our world of its greatest heroes, to soften us up for some imagined invasion. Those are just rumors!”
Well, I didn’t think that before but I certainly am now!
Who let Vision be the person speaking to the press?
Apparently Vision did as he’s named himself the chairman in absence of Wasp.
What, Scarlet Witch doesn’t get the nod? She’s been with the team longer.
One reporter, not at all soothed by Vision’s insistence that there’s definitely no conspiracy going on, asks Vision to comment on reports of an alien invasion out of West Virginia.
Since Vision hasn’t received confirmation about the alien wraith menace, he basically tells the press ‘yeah i’ve heard of that but can’t really comment. BUT I can confirm that the Avengers are going to meet with a bunch of people from the National Security Council which I assume is going to be about the alien wraiths but who can really say!’
Watching this press conference on Air Force One, Henry Peter Gyrich says a swear.
Henry Peter Gyrich: “@#$%$ android!! Why doesn’t he give them our location and air speed while he’s at it?!”
Mr. Sikorsky points out that the meeting isn’t exactly classified and that the Washington Post reporter would have mentioned it if Vision hadn’t.
But Gyrich is still peeved because he thinks Vision should have consulted the NSA before giving a press conference.
This makes me feel gross but Gyrich actually agrees with me that Vision isn’t doing a great job of allaying people’s fears with this press conference.
Reporter: “If worse comes to worse, how do you plan to deal with the potential for civil unrest?”
Vision: “In the same way the Avengers have always dealt with it. We have always been strongly supportive of civil authority at all levels -- and we’re not about to change our position now! The public should not feel that they are unusually threatened in the current situation!”
Ironically, this press conference is being played on a tv at a bank that is currently being robbed. And there’s a bunch of hostages who probably feel unusually threatened in the current situation.
But the irony giveth and takeith away.
When TV Vision says “Never let it be said that the Avengers abandoned their responsibilities to --” Starfox shows up to punch some bank robbers.
Probably thinking ‘oh thank god, some dumb adventure finally.’ He just wants to punch people and have adventures.
And punch some bank robbers he does do, until one of them takes a woman hostage and says he’ll shoot her if Starfox doesn’t let him walk out the door.
Annnnnnnd.
Yeah. Uh.
Starfox does a thing?
His head glows pink and the bank robber’s head glows pink and he suddenly can’t stop laughing and now he’s Starfox’s best friend.
My god, he can make people drunk with his mind?? So this is his secret power!
Truly, he is the mightiest Avenger...
Anyway, Starfox turns his new best friend over to the cops, showing he’s no friend at all, and then flies off.
The giggly bank robber staying giggly as he obligingly walks into the police van, weirding out the cops.
Meanwhile, the Avengers press conference at the Avengers Mansion ends.
A reporter: “Psstt! Do you believe any of that”
Another reporter: “Suurre, just like I believed that Nixon wasn’t a crook!”
Wow, sweet politics dunk.
Geez, Vision, you got politics dunked on. You did not convince people in that press conference at all...
Vision: “It did not go as I’d hoped! It is the duty of these people to probe and question, but by the manner of their questioning, I could tell they didn’t accept my reassurances. If their reaction is a common one, my speech may have done more harm than good.
He floats up through the ceiling, giving Mockingbird a startle.
They have a talk to establish that Sue, Franklin, and Alicia from the FF books are staying with the Avengers due to the rest of the FF catching a bad case of disappearing.
Vision has invited Mockingbird to stay with the Avengers until they find out what happened to Hawkeye.
Mockingbird: “Look, Vision, don’t give me false hope just because I’m a newlywed. Level with me... Is there any chance that Hawk’s still alive?”
Vision: “This is not the first time Avengers have disappeared. There is always hope.”
He’s got a point. The Collector for one is constantly collecting the Avengers. Sure, he’s dead now but this is a superhero universe.
Vision then floats up through another ceiling, giving Mockingbird another startle.
Mockingbird: I will never... never get used to that!
Vision floats up into the communications center where Scarlet the Wanda Witch is monitoring the monitors. She tells him that there’s been no more news on the disappearances.
Vision: “Then we must draw encouragement from the fact no bad news has been received.”
Scarlet Witch: “I didn’t say no bad news had come in! Agents Gyrich and Sikorski radioed that they’ll be arriving on schedule and they want to see you right away! Gyrich didn’t sound happy.”
Hahahahahahahahah. I love that Gyrich arriving on schedule is bad news. Because he’s the worst.
Wanda also updates Vision on her progress in contacting reserve and inactive Avengers to help cover the sudden personnel shortage.
She’s contacted Black Panther, Wonder Man, the Falcon, and Black Knight who are standing by for an emergency alert. She hasn’t been able to contact Hercules or Black Widow.
Huh. Wonder what they’re up to. I was sure that the Champions book was dead by this point.
She offers to contact Quicksilver but Vision tells her to hold off.
He asks her where Starfox is and she tells Vision that he went out to handle that bank robbery thing we saw him handle.
Vision: “That’s excellent! Now more than ever, the Avengers must maintain a high level of visibility! And responding to day-to-day emergencies is an ideal way to do it! Stopping a bank robbery accomplishes more than a dozen news conferences!”
Especially one of your conferences, zing!
Sorry, Vizh! It was just really bad!
A fire alarm comes in over the monitors and Scarlet Witch runs off to handle it. Because she was handling it on the cover. It wouldn’t do to create a time paradox.
As soon as Wanda leaves, Vision slouches down into a chair in his Visiony way and consults the giant holographic head of ISAAC, the great and powerful.
There’s so many giant heads in this book lately.
ISAAC has apparently kept the link to Vision going since Starfox hooked the two of them up. Vision seems okay with the fact that a supercomputer is linked to his brain.
Vision: “That explains the greater memory capacity I’ve felt lately!”
And with the fact that its a two-way street, with Vision having access to ISAAC’s data... and vice versa.
Vision is smiling and everything seems to be looking up but this still bodes.
Anyway, the synthezoid bemoans that the disappearance of half of the Avengers has allowed him to rise to a position of authority but that it doesn’t seem to matter.
Vision: “I must lead a team of respected Avengers, if I am to meet my goals. But our most revered members are missing. A new team could be assembled -- but without Thor or Captain America behind me, the public will never accept what I have in mind.”
ISAAC: “You reason people will not fully trust an artificial man, a synthezoid such as yourself. But you need not convince all of them... only a few select individuals!”
Vision: “Of course! And in my expanded capacity, I have the means to do just that!”
Um.
Umm.
Seems shady.
Seems shadier that the ‘means to do just that’ involves intangibling to the electronics laboratory.
MEANWHILE ON THE MOON
Love saying that. Thank you, comics.
Meanwhile on the moon, Quicksilver and Crystal have a household discussion.
They decided not to expose Perfectly Human Baby Luna to the terrigen mist in The Thing #3 but none of the Inhumans have experience with human babies. And Crystal has decided that what she really needs is a “good down-to-earth nanny!”
Literally, a nanny from Earth. But one that can deal with Inhuman society.
Quicksilver muses that he may know just such a person.
It’s Bova, isn’t it? It better be Bova.
But are Inhumans really so incapable when it comes to human babies? There’s a lot of Inhumans that aren’t externally mutated at all. Wouldn’t a human baby just be easier to care for?
And do the Inhumans really expose their babies to the mists? Based on Inhumanity event, it doesn’t matter when a latent Inhuman is exposed, they’ll develop powers anyway. So why not wait until they can walk and talk?
Your society is silly, Inhumans!
Meanwhile, over at the fire, there is a fire. Right in the heart of midtown Manhattan, a place you wouldn’t generally want to be on fire.
Scarlet Witch offers to help but the fire chief on site is skeptical about what she could do to help.
She quickly confirms that there are no civilians in the building and that the firefighters caught inside are wearing oxygen masks and tells the firefighters to keep hosing down the buildings.
Then she gets to her witchy work.
Using the awesome and OP power of probability manipulation, she manipulates the probability that all the oxygen in the area will just decide to not go near the fire.
OP AF.
But its a big thing to do so she can’t do it indefinitely. So she tells the firefighters to hose the buildings to drop the temperature so it doesn’t reignite when the oxygen rushes back in.
I do love how OP probability manipulation is. Without even needing to be straight up reality alteration!
People complaining that Wanda is too powerful to write around, she can sit comfortably in the ‘can move all the gas around but it takes effort’ level!
Do Anything powers makes her a good wild card for whatever nonsense you need to happen and one of the more powerful Avengers without being so powerful that she’s difficult to write around in a team context.
Anyway, as foreshadowed, Gyrich and Sikorski arrive and Gyrich immediately gets to Gyriching, complaining that it was too easy for him to access the mansion with but a simple card swipe.
Henry Peter Gyrich: “See here, Jarvis, it’s not that I don’t appreciate courtesy, but no one should be granted entrance without a security check!”
Jarvis: “Indeed, sir! Anyone might steal your card! That is why the two of you were scanned by a dozen or more devices by the time you passed our gates. You’ll be happy to know that your identities were verified. Otherwise our defensive systems would have dropped you where you stood!”
Sikorski: “D-dropped?”
Haha, eat shit, Gyrich.
Jarvis leads the two to meet Vision in the electronics laboratory.
Vision has. Made an interesting fashion choice.
You’ve seen it on the cover and boy does it also happen in the book.
Vision explains that the hat is some testing equipment he made to check the hardware after his recent time stuck in a tube. But its all good. He’s operating in peak condition and feeling amazing.
Gyrich isn’t impressed or assuaged and asks Vision if he was trying to start a panic with his press conference.
Vision: “Admittedly, I may not be the Avengers’ best spokesman, but, given the circumstances, I was all we had! I do appreciate and understand your concern, though, and I’m glad you’re both here. As you said, we’ve got a lost to discuss!
Vizh, you’re going to get the Avengers operating out of city buses again.
Meanwhile back over at the fire, while the fire chief is thanking Wanda for her help, a big flash lights up the sky, just like when the Avengers were spirited away last issue.
Wanda commandeers a police car to drive her to Central Park. You can do that when you’re an Avenger and have A1 (steak sauce?) priority.
Starfox also spots the flash while flying around the city and Mockingbird spots it from the Mansion.
In Central Park, on the exact spot where the six Avengers vanished, five of them plus Iron Man return. Also that large structure from before reappears too.
Only one issue and several days in-universe and the Avengers are already back! Minus She-Hulk. Where the hell is She-Hulk.
Iron Man (I’m assuming Rhodey) immediately takes off to go do Iron Man stuff. I think his armor has changed but I haven't been following the Iron Man book close enough to know for sure. I just don’t think the armor usually has little shoulder antenna.
The Avengers that were headed towards the giant flash start arriving for the happy reunion. Since Mockingbird was right across the road, she arrives first and throws herself into Hawkeye’s arms.
Awww.
Scarlet Witch asks the heroes returned where the hell they were and Cap says
Captain America: “You can find out all about it in the Secret Wars limited series, on sale soon!”
Naw, just kidding.
He says he’ll Explain It All when they get back to the Mansion. Because for reasons, he’s decided its best that the public not know about the Secret War.
Probably so the event’s title makes sense? Yeah, probably.
The cops that brought Wanda to the park go uhhhh but we need to take statements about where you’ve been so Cap(tain America) flashes his Avengers card which means he can do what he wants.
Captain America: “I’m afraid that any statements we make must be submitted at the federal level first. You understand.”
And the cops go yeah that sounds legit.
BUT WHAT ABOUT SHE-HULK?
Well, she joined the Fantastic Four, of course.
Wanna know why?
Captain America: “You can find out all about it in the Secret Wars limited series, on sale soon!”
Yeah, we don’t get any more information except that she’s taking the Thing’s place on the foursome.
What happened to Ben Grimm?
Captain America: “You can find out all about it in the Secret Wars limited series, on sale soon!”
It be like that.
So this isn’t the narrative reason but here’s the doylist reason. When Stern and Byrne were collaborating on that Annihilus story, Byrne decided he liked writing She-Hulk and that he wanted her. Stern apparently was cool with this and the character was shifted from one team to the other.
A couple years later, Byrne is going to write the Sensational She-Hulk series which sets the tone for the character. But based on an FF liveblog a friend is doing, Byrne does not hit the stride with She-Hulk while she’s in that book.
I’m a bit annoyed because I was really enjoying her in Avengers.
In a bit of a sad comedic beat, cabs still don’t want to stop for the seven foot green woman, even now that she’s wearing an FF uniform.
She-Hulk returns to Avengers Mansion for the post-event debriefing meeting where she runs into Captain Marvel looking melancholic.
Monica has come to a decision after being whisked away to an event for several days.
Captain Marvel: “I called my parents to let them know I was okay... In case they wondered where i was lately... and there was no answer!”
She-Hulk: “I take it they don’t know about your life as Captain Marvel yet?”
Captain Marvel: “Not yet. And after all we went through -- in that insane Secret War, I definitely want them to know, but -- !”
She-Hulk: “You’re not sure how to tell them?”
Captain Marvel: “Yeah.”
Yeesh, I wonder how Spider-Man dealt with disappearing for several days. He’s always on the knifes edge of his life just falling apart completely.
Captain Marvel and She-Hulk join the rest in the main assembly hall. Wasp and Vision are off in a private meeting. He was handling chairmen duties and making decisions and such while she was gone so she probably needs to debrief him personally.
As Hawkeye points out, the Avengers have two chairmen now and nine members.
Minutes later, Wasp and Vision emerge from the... I dunno, sub-assembly hall? Secondary assembly broom closet? Wherever they went to have a just them talk.
Wasp calls the meeting to order.
... And then immediately steps down as chairwoman??
;___;
RIP Wasp’s Totally Sweet Time Leading the Avengers, issue #217 - #243.
T-twenty-six issues isn’t a bad run...
I guess someone else should get the chance.
Like Vision. Who Wasp nominates.
Cap’s Biggest Fan Hawkeye nominates Captain America instead but Cap defers. His civilian career (cartoonist, I think?) has been pretty hectic.
So how about second her nomination of Vision then hmmmmmm Wasp suggests.
And that’s how Big Plans Vision gets voted the new chairman.
And he’s got big plans!
First! Since Thor and She-Hulk are going to be too busy doing Thor and Fantastic Four stuff to be active Avengers but are too cool to just completely cut from the roster just because Byrne decided he gets She-Hulk now, Vision creates a new type of Avengers status.
Vision: “I propose the establishment of a special ‘detached membership’ status. You would function as active members when you were available, and reservists when you were not.”
She-Hulk: “Hey, that sounds ideal.”
Thor: “Indeed!”
Everybody’s happy! Except Hawkeye because he can count and he’s still counting to seven when the max roster is supposed to be six. And he’s got a bad feeling that he’s unlucky number seven!
But Vision’s big plans don’t stop at saying that She-Hulk and Thor can pitch in whenever they’re around.
He’s also proposing the creation of a second team on the west coast. Some kind of............. West Coast Avengers, perhaps.
Between Gyrich and Sikorski arriving for the meeting with Vision and now, Gyrich has managed to get reassigned to new duties. Somehow.
Anyway, that means his understudy Mr. “I hate the superhero genre” Sikorski is their new NSA liason.
Mr. Sikorski: “I have spoken at length this afternoon with both the Wasp and the Vision, and I am prepared to offer full governmental backing for the establishment of a West Coast branch of the Avengers. I’ve been convinced that it’s a... logical solution. Perfectly logical!”
Weird to have an ellipses but okay.
And the person Vision has chosen to lead this new team?
None other than Hawkeye!
Oh, Clint, your dream is coming true and all you had to do was be vaguely antagonistic and obnoxious in the vicinity of the Avengers off and on for years to establish yourself!
Vision: “You’ve had years of experience as an Avenger, and you’ve worked with nearly everyone who’s ever been a member. You and Mockingbird can relocate quickly...”
In fact, its imperative that he do! He do relocate and get the West Coast team up and running ASAP!
Vision: “Mr. Sikorski has shown me frightening evidence of a new threat to freedom worldwide! Unless we prepare ourselves, this planet could be overrun by an alien race known as -- THE DIRE WRAITHS!!”
Huh. I guess that journalist was onto something.
And I guess its ROM time?
No. We had a Secret Wars, remember? And while that was doled out over a year, I’m going to go a little faster.
So next time, some Secret Wars.
Although, it was just the one war actually.
Follow @essential-avengers because you think I’m a cool person. Like and reblog because you have your reasons.
#Avengers#the Vision#Scarlet Witch#the Wasp#Starfox#Mockingbird#Hawkeye#Thor#Captain America#Iron Man#James Rhodes#Captain Marvel#Monica Rambeau#She Hulk#Essential Avengers#essential marvel liveblogging
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Komahina Oneshot
Komahina ft. Trans Hajime. Another Tumblr inspired post. The tumblr account is catboymoments. Gotta give credit where credit is due.
If you didn't know that this is very gay and trans then idk how you got here but I'm happy to have ya.
But seriously, this has some pretty big trigger warnings
- Gender Dysphoria
- Complicated pregnancy
- Mentions of abortion
-PTSD
Anyways Onto the Oneshot!
Wow! I'm Pregnant! We're gunna have a happy family! Except...I'm a guy.
I feel horrible... This has been going on for about three days now. Mornings are the worst. I can't tell why. It's starting to worry Nagito and it's not like I can fake it, I tried. You can't fake puking. I can at least fake being somewhat lively.
...I need to get up. Need to get moving. Need to- Nevermind! I need to puke! Fuck... This feels disgusting. Maybe I should try and diagnose myself, or have Mikan help me. I felt a pat on my back; I knew it was Nagito but, I couldn't look at him while puking my guts out. When I finally finished desecrating the poor toilet I got up. I was sweating, pale and covered in whatever I managed to puke up on an empty stomach. I flushed the toilet and washed my face.
Nagito gave me a worried look. What was once an 'are you okay?' question turned into, "How are you feeling now?"
"I'm better," I responded. There wasn't much else to say, "I'll get this checked out soon, I'll just give it another day or two."
Nagito face turned stern, "Hajime, you need to get this thing checked out today! This has gone on for too long." He went out of the bathroom and grabbed his phone, "I'm calling Tsumiki-chan."
"Nonono! It's okay Nagito! I'll do it tomorrow! I can handle this myself!" I responded, a bit panicked. I never liked getting help from others, it didn't feel right to bother someone over something I can do myself.
"You said that yesterday. I'm calling Tsumiki-chan." He said in a more stern voice. I couldn't respond, there was no point in arguing with him when he's like this, plus; he's right. He made the call. I didn't hear Mikan's side of the call but, from what I can hear on Nagito's side, they made a time, 1 pm. He hung up and looked back at me, his glaze softened.
"Let's get you something to eat, okay?"
"Yeah," He smiles softly and gave me a small kiss on the forehead before leading me out of the house. But, while we were walking towards the cafeteria, a little voice told me something.
You know exactly what's happening.
I shook the thought away.
...
Breakfast was, mostly, fine. Only going to the bathroom once! Now, I have some time before I have to talk to Mikan. Nagito insists that I rest but I've gotten bored of doing that. I decided to just walk around the island. It was a really hot day and I was getting tired so, I couldn't walk for long. Huh, that never happens, I usually have more stamina than that... Maybe Nagito was right. Well, Nagito is usually right. Maybe I should just listen to Nagito more.
I started walking back, only taking a break to puke near a tree. Now, I'm really sweating, shaking too. I felt light-headed. Then, an unexpected helper appeared. She put my arm on her shoulder, behind her neck, her other hand supported me from my side. I didn't look up, I didn't need to. Her light orange kimono with scattered pink cherry blossoms gave away who she was.
"Hey Saionji..."
"Didn't listen to Komaeda again?" She knew it...
"Nope." I responded with as much satire I could muster.
"You're an idiot."
"Yup" Indeed I was but I could think about that a little bit more when my head wasn't spinning like crazy. Hiyoko helped me back to my cottage before leaving me to enter it myself. I opened the door and both Nagito and Mikan were sitting on the couch. I guess she came early.
"Hey guys, it seems like you were both waiting for me. Sorry about that."
"I-It's fine Hinata-san. So tell me a-about your condition. I've only seen g-glimpses of it" Mikan said.
So I explained. The morning sickness, the lack of energy and stamina. The fact that I can't even walk around the island without becoming pale and out of breath. Mikan thought about it and started checking her tablet. I assumed that she was looking up what this could mean before her eyes widen on something.
"I-I....I never knew this. Umm...I'll b-be right back." She seemed nervous as se got up and practically ran out of the house.
You know where she's going, you know what she's getting
There's that voice is again. I have no time for hallucinations or weird creepy messages.
...
Mikan returned after a few minutes with a little rectangular box in her hand.
"Welcome back, Tsumiki-chan. Now, are you going to explain why you suddenly freaked out like that and left?" Nagito said.
Mikan's gaze fell on me. Her look was almost unreadable. It's very unlike her.
"Hinata-san. Are you trans?" She asked bluntly.
"Wh-What?! What made you ask that??" I panicked. How did she know? How did she guess??
She turned her tablet to me; my profile was on it as was everyone else's. She pressed one of those special info buttons and a symbol appeared next to my profile picture.
The Female Sex Symbol...
Silence...
...Shit...
"I'm surprised that you didn't realize that this button exists. After all the creator of these tablets had a member who's entire case was solved because their sex was revealed." Mikan said. She always did have more confidence when she spoke facts. I didn't have anything to say, neither did Nagito. Mikan handed me the box; it was a pregnancy test.
"I w-won't ask. That's your b-business..." Her timidity returned. No, she won't ask because she'll get her answer depending on what I say or do. I could hand her back the test. I could lie and say I'm a virgin but, that wouldn't help me...
I got up and went to the bathroom...
...
......
...Are...Are you serious...? The test came back positive?! I...don't know how to feel about this... At least I know what's happening to me and probably why it's hitting me so hard.
...I feel too sick for this.
You knew this was coming.
'Izuru...not now. Please.'
You know you can't fully get rid of her.
'Who are you talking about?'
As if to answer my question, he materialized but not as himself. He materialized as a young girl. A girl that looks a lot like me.
'Fuck off, Izuru. You know that's not me...'
Is it not? It's who you once were.
'That was never me! She was someone else. Just a person of the past.'
And that way of thinking is what got you here. It's time for you to face the facts. You may be a boy but, you're not male. You forgetting that is why that test is positive. You took a chance, you were risky and here you are.
'We're done here.'
I was steaming. I couldn't listen to another word that fell out of that man's mouth. I needed to calm down. I took some deep breaths and left the bathroom. Mikan left but, Nagito was still there. I wasn't concerned with him knowing that I was trans, he already knew; he would have to know since he's...
"So, what happened? What did she give you? Are you okay?" he asked but, I had a feeling that he knew. I didn't want the mood to be sour. Having kids is supposed to be a good thing so, I wanted to lighten the mood with a pun.
"Well, I guess I should be invisible."
"...What? What do you mean?" He looked puzzled.
I looked at the pregnancy test. "Well, I'm a trans-parent." (Yes, I took this pun from the same tumblr user)
He looked at me, still puzzled, for a few minutes before he realized.
"...oh. Oh OH! You don't mean-" He looked happy, so happy. He gave me a hug, "Oh my god! I've always wanted to be a dad!"
He has? Great... Personally, I never wanted kids. I used to but, secondary school... changed me and showed me that really, I don't. But I can't just make a split second decision, he seem so happy...
"Yeah, but can we discuss this a bit more? I have my issues that I need to address."
His smile faded a bit "Uh sure"
We both sat on the bed of our room. I didn't know what to say. I don't know if I want to do this but, it would feel wrong just to abort with no conversation.
"So umm... Nagito. I...I don't know if I'm- we're ready to have kids. I guess I'm kind of worried?"
Tell him the actual reason, Hajime.
"I don't know what effect this might have on me and I'm scared that I might not be a great dad..."
Hajime...
"Is that the reason?" Nagito asked.
"...Yeah"
If you don't tell him, I will.
"..."
I wasn't going to say anything but, Izuru kept on his threat. I lost control of my body.
"He has gender dysphoria" Izuru said, "So this pregnancy is reminding him of his uncertainty. The place he used to live in was not the most accepting of transgendered people"
Nagito fell silent, he was stunned. Damn it Izuru... did you have to be so blunt? I got control of my body back, I couldn't even look at Nagito, I felt so ashamed, I was putting my anxieties above a life. It felt...wrong. Or is it a life? It's a clump of cells but, it can become a life. I've been around too many mixed influences. I wish I knew which decision was the good decision.
Then again..
Is there truly a 'good' decision? On one hand, I'm killing a potential life and that will haunt me but, if I'm not ready to be a parent, I'm bringing a child into a world neither it nor I'm ready for and with a current war having, it's not like adoption is an option and, like Izuru said, it forces me to accept-
"Why didn't you tell me?" Nagito asked. He didn't sound mad, he sounded sad and even a bit guilty, I didn't answer, "I'm sorry if me saying that pressured you." He gave me a hug. I felt so guilty. "I can't say that I fully understand but, no matter what you choose, I'll be in your corner."
"I'm gunna give it a week or two then I'll make my decision," I said nearly in tears, "thank you for being so supportive."
...
It's been two weeks, I thought about it everyday. I was already two week pregnant so with another two weeks, the time for abortion via safe mentions was soon ending. I hesitated and swayed back and forth on my answer. I truly didn't know for a while. But, about two days before my decision I found myself sticking to an answer. I'll stick with this pregnancy. It might help me get over my gender dysphoria, maybe not fully but, somewhat? Plus, it's quite an efficient way to tell everyone that I'm trans. And who know, maybe I'm a better parent than I think I am and with Nagito, I feel like I can take it. It's sort of strange; I'm aware of all the health risks, the mental tax, the problems and possible sadness but, I feel like I can take it. I feel calmer know that I at least, have one person- well two people with Tsumiki, in my corner.
"I'm keeping it" I said with a hug.
"Really? You sure?" Nagito asked.
"Yeah, we're gonna be a family." I smiled, it wasn't fake.
But of course, like everything else in my life, it didn't come without complication. I was already pregnancy four weeks and was just feeling more exhausted. Another week had passed and I kept feeling worse. I didn't know why. I felt exhausted and cold. I was exhausted but not tired, not sleepy. I was awake and shaky. Nagito called Mikan again when he started to notice how pale I was getting. She said it was Iron Deficiency Anemia along with Hypertension. Two things that were really common in pregnancy. She gave me medication for it and it did help but not fully.
At about 8 weeks, I told the group about me being trans and about the child. Mikan recommended to do that instead of immediately because that's when the risk of a miscarriage goes down to less than 10 percent. The group was so happy to have two children born at similar times. Yes, two! Sonia and Gundham were having a kid as well. What a coincidence! Sonia insisted that we started talking more about it.
12 weeks in and everything has been going as smoothly as it can. There's still work, there's still complications, sleeping is an issue, I have been diagnosed with Insomnia, this pregnancy has also made me more dependent on Nagito and has given me more time to think and I don't know if I like that... But, everyone's been really supportive, they haven't treated me any different and because I have a bit more time, I can hangout with them more. I've learnt a lot more about Sonia. I knew a bit about her, like that she's into witchcraft and serial killer documentaries but, she was also into slice of life novels so, this was a dream of hers. How cute.
Weeks 16 - 30 can be summed up here. They all passed the same; excited conversations, preparations, fun little talks, work, insomnia, exhaustion, etc. What was really note worthy was while Nagito went out on a mission to the main lands, Makoto brought back a fluffy white dog, a Great Pyrenees puppy. We agreed to keep and so when Nagito came home, I surprised him with the dog. At first, he was silent, then he started crying; I was scared the he didn't like the dog but, that changed when he went up and hugged the dog, he was so happy. Apparently, this was the exact breed of the dog Nagito used to have. Wow, how lucky. He sat with it for hours before being willing to pry away from it and go to sleep. We decided to call her Lucy.
Fast forward to week 37, about 3 weeks before we thought I was due. I was pulling an all-nighter on this one project to have it done by tomorrow. I knew I was pushing myself but I was almost done, I wanted to free up my schedule so I can have more time with my baby. Nagito, however, was starting to get concerned.
"Hajime, it's really late. You should rest."
"I'm almost done, okay? I just need to finish this last assignment and I'll be in bed. Just give me about an hour." I said, trying to easy his concern.
"Alright.." He didn't sound too convinced but he did leave.
I continued to work on my project and the time flew by until in the middle of my assignment, my stomach really hurt, more than usual. Do you really need to kick that hard, Future Child? I tried to continues working but the pain would just come back worse every time. Maybe I should just go to bed... I tried to get up and walk back to my bedroom but the pain sent me down the floor, everything hurts...everything hurts...I couldn't even scream, I was in so much pain...I felt something wet trickle down and I knew what it was at this point. I didn't know what to do, I was crying. Was I going to die? Was I just going to have to give birth here and now? What can I do??
Then, my savior came into the room. No not Nagito, Lucy! She took one good look and me and went sprinting out the door. I could hear her barking and soon she seem back with Nagito.
"Hajime!! Are you okay!?"
I wanted to say something to something to that question; 'yes', 'no', 'shut the fuck up and call Tsumiki' but, I couldn't let out a sound. Luckily, he took the hint and called Mikan.
"Tsumiki-chan. I'm sorry to wake you but, Hajime may be going through contractions? Please help?!"
They talked for a bit, I could barely focus. I just remember Nagito carrying me to the bathroom while talking to Mikan. I don't know if she was just fast or if I blanked out for a bit but, Mikan was there before I knew it. They both briefly conversed before they got me dressed in a cheap, long white shirt and set me down in the bath. Mikan started sticking needles in me, I don't know what for and she was still talking to Nagito. She finally looked at me and told me to count my contractions and how often they happen. After each one (Because it hurts too much to talk during contractions) I would tell her, when she decided that they were regular enough, she grasped my hand a little and told me to take a deep breathe. I did. Then she told me to push.
That's when it hit me, this was happening now! Oh my god, I was not ready for this but, I don't have much of a choice. So I pushed. Oh god it hurts! I felt like my bones were breaking. She then told me to breathe again and I did, we repeated this until the water started to turn red with blood.
Blood...blood...
Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...
Blood? Did someone die? I felt like I was somewhere else. I was watching the murders of the student council again, so much blood...like a perfect quality horror movie, I saw them all murder each other clear as day, every person, every stabbing, every slicing, every shooting, all the bloodshed, clear as the day I first saw it. I never forgot any of their faces...
Then, as if it couldn't get worse...all the murders, all the executions...all the blood, clear as day. I was just watching, unable to do anything. Nagito...Chiaki... They were gone. Was my happy life all a dream? Is this the reality I'm truly in or am I hallucinating and this is the fake reality? I can't tell, I can't tell... I want out of this nightmare! I hear voices in the distance, at first I couldn't understand what they are saying but, as the voices got louder, I could slowly understand. Were they calling me? I got my answer.
"HAJIME!" Nagito shouted, dragging me back to reality. I panicked at the different scenery. My heart was pounding, threatening to rip out of my chest. I looked around to see where I was, I was in the bathroom. I couldn't keep my vision still.
Nagito cupped my cheeks, obviously trying to calm me down. "Hajime look at me, okay?"
I tried to focus my vision on him, his eyes full of panic and worry.
"You're having a panic attack. Whatever you saw, it's just an illusion. You're okay, I'm okay, everyone is okay. Please try to calm down."
My throat was dry and hoarse but, I took a deep breath. I continued to do that until I became calmer.
He smiled down at me "Good...good."
Mikan then piped up, "Komaeda-san, I'm sorry but, we do need to c-continue with this..." Then she got an idea, "If blood is a trigger to Hinata-san then can maybe he should just look at you instead. I'll still need your attention Hinata-san but, just keep l-looking at him."
"Yeah, that's a good idea." Nagito agreed. I just nodded. So Mikan continued with her instruction and I kept my eyes on Nagito. It made the birthing a little easier to see his smile and soon enough I did my last push, I felt a weight leave me and while I was still sore, it didn't hurt nearly as much anymore. That's when the fatigue washed over me. I could feel myself passing out already.
"Hey hey...um, I know you're tired but, can you stay awake just a little longer please? Just until Tsumiki-chan says it's okay. Please?"
I didn't want to, the work should be over by now but, I could do it. Voices faded in and out, I was barely able to concentrate. Then, Nagito gave me a kiss on the forehead.
"You did it Hajime! It's okay now, you can rest." His voice was quiet and soothing.
"...Great.." I replied groggily before falling asleep almost immediately after.
I fell into a deep, very needed sleep. It was relaxing for once. No dreams, no nightmares just, floating in the darkness. But, I had to wake up.
The sun was shining through the curtains, not too much sun but, just enough to give the room a bright warm haze. I still felt sore but, it was much better than last night. I sat up and yawned.
"Oh good morning, Sleepyhead." Nagito said, playfully. He was sitting right next to me, looking at me with a warm smile. "I was wondering when you were going to wake up."
I felt a bit out of it, it seemed so peaceful right now, I just wanted to bask in it for a while. I took the time to notice things around me, like the fact that I was wearing something different; it was one of Nagito shirts and my boxers. I also noticed a little crib in the far corner of our bedroom with what looks to be a baby inside.
"Do you want to see your child?" Nagito asked.
I could only nod. He got up and went to the crib, picked up the small child and came back to the bed. Handing me the child he said,
"Meet your new baby son"
I held the child gently in my arms and at that moment, everything became worth it. He woke up and looked at me. I was expecting him to cry but, instead he just giggles grabbed my finger. Now I'm the one whose crying!
Nagito chuckled, "Don't cry on the baby!" He said playfully but, he was crying too.
He gave me a kiss, "I love you, Hajime"
I returned it, "I love you too, Nagito"
We both held our son and I knew, deep in my heart, this was the right decision.
We're a family now!
If I got something wrong, please tell me. I really tried and I wanna get it right.
#danganronpa#danganronpa2#hinakoma#komahina#Hajime Hinata#SDR2 Hajime#Nagito Komaeda#sdr2 nagito#trans hajime#family au
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