my urge to kill myself is increasing by every second

maybe life is so hard because I wasn't supposed to be here at this age and god just tries to finally get rid of me

The slightest inconvenience makes me want to kill myself so bad,

I don't think most people understand how violent it is

Tw: svicide, hospital...

I have discovered something recently and I wanted to share it! It's more a theory than a discovery but it doesn't matter.

There is two types of svicidal people:

The first type are truely suffering at the moment, they need help and they generally WANT help. Sometimes they do things like calling an ambulance after a sewicide attempt to "be saved" and/or go to the psych ward or telling someone they're about to do it. The thing is that they generally don't truely want to die but to heal from mental health problems. {It's like the theory that if you could have another life without your actual problems you would be okay to live.} In my opinion, they really can get better but they need to be protected from themselves sometimes.

The second ones are what I call "chronically svicidal". They generally hide their problems, don't talk about it and the most important part: THEY DON'T WANT TO BE SAVED! They may accept help but inside their brain, they are absolutely sure that they'll end up killing themselves; even if they need to wait 5 or 10 years to do it, they could never imagine living a long life (and don't even thing about a "happy" life cuz they can't imagine it 😶) I believe they don't suffer from the fact they are svicidal but from life in general. If you use the same example than before, these people would still be svicidal in a "perfect world" where they don't have any problems in their lives.

! Reminder that it's just a theory !

If you could tell me if you think you are apart of one of these categories it would be perfect ^^

Have a nice day sweeties <3

How do I fail my sui attempts 4 times-

How can I lit suck at that too 💀

Guys the person Im talking to thinks im fat I wanna off myself :[

i hate them

give me back my razors

i need to see my fucking blood

the feminine urge to smoke a cig and then just kms idc

i was clean for at least two weeks before yesterday. i relapsed really badly. the sh itself isn't that bad, but i have a feeling that it will get worse. i had thought that i was over this. but now i realize that i will never be.

why should i live a life full of misery and loneliness when i can end it all? why should i continue torturing myself and disappointing the people who have expectations from me any longer? why should i live a life where no matter how hard i try, i'm never going to be enough? why should i continue living a life where the beauty of happiness turns into guilt the second i start to enjoy it? why should i continue living this horrible life in a broken body with an even broken mind?

i need to go. i want to go. i have to go.

tw ed, sh, si

i don’t want to be Lia. i don’t want red ladders or a bone corset; but part of me always will. i want white ladders, but i don’t want to make the red ones first. i want collarbones, but i don’t want to lie for them. i want to be institutionalised, but i don’t want to tell them. i want to jump, but i don’t want to stop breathing. i want to swallow them all, but i don’t want to drink the souls of the artists. i want to be dead, but i want to watch them know i’m gone. i don’t want to pull a disappearing act, but i don’t see anyone in the future playing dress-ups with my skin.

It's when the truck coming at you sounds like a relief that you need to start to worry again

Me literally not even five minutes after:

People: "life is precious!🥺"

Me: "life can go fuck itself, im tired. 😀"

I want to heal but at the same time I want to destroy myself as much as I can

i'd die a long time ago, but something's still stopping me. i can't leave my best friend and my parents. even tho i'm trying to get them out of my mind, i just can't imagine their pain after i'll be gone. it's so hard, i don't want them to feel like this but I DON'T want to feel like this either. living for others is fucked up, maybe i should just be an egoist and stop fucking caring so much.