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My stomach is full.
It’s filled with those hurtful words they said.
All the times they acted like it never happened and that it was all In my head.
All those hurtful words I swallowed for their sake.
All the truths I never told because I knew it wouldn’t change a thing.
I swallowed it all until it consumed me.
Until it started to leak from my eyes.
Until I had to cut it out of my skin.
So I stopped eating.
Because I was already full.
Full of all the truths I never said and the hurtful words they told me.
“Forgive and forget” they’d say.
Maybe if I forgive and forget I can ignore all the hurtful words they said and truths I swallowed.
Maybe the pit In my stomach would disappear and I can feel light enough to chew again.
But I can’t forget and I don’t know how to forgive.
So I stopped eating to make room for all the pain.
All the pain I can’t seem to cut out of my skin.
Maybe I’ll learn how to forgive and forget once I learn how to float.
Maybe then I’ll be able to chew again.
But my stomach is full.
And if I stop swimming I may sink.
-wintergirl
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It's snowing outside so I'm wrapped up in blankets with tea and a book 🌨️
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Read Wintergirls it’s basically a how-to-be-ana guide!!! Found it fr3e online thank me later
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"She offered herself to the big bad wolf and didn't scream when he took the first bite."
-Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson
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This girl shivers and crawls under the covers with all her clothes on and falls into an overdue library book, a faerie story with rats and marrow and burning curses. The sentences build a fence around her, a Times Roman 10-point barricade, to keep the thorny voices in her head from getting too close.
Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls
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