The way I could be skinny AND rich if I’d stop eating

tw ed, sh, si

i don’t want to be Lia. i don’t want red ladders or a bone corset; but part of me always will. i want white ladders, but i don’t want to make the red ones first. i want collarbones, but i don’t want to lie for them. i want to be institutionalised, but i don’t want to tell them. i want to jump, but i don’t want to stop breathing. i want to swallow them all, but i don’t want to drink the souls of the artists. i want to be dead, but i want to watch them know i’m gone. i don’t want to pull a disappearing act, but i don’t see anyone in the future playing dress-ups with my skin.

I don’t deserve to eat.

tip for not passing out?

when feeling light head, weak, etc. what can i take to help suppress that?

Nothing more embarrassing than being anorexic and overweight at the same time

i also really need help on getting my stomach to stop grumbling when i’m not eating. at home it’s fine but at school it’s super embarrassing.

I will be skinny. I’m not hungry. I will not binge. Food doesn’t control me. I won’t be weak. I will be skinny. I’m not hungry. I will not binge. Food doesn’t control me. I won’t be weak. I will be skinny. I’m not hungry. I will not binge. Food doesn’t control me. I won’t be weak. I will be skinny. I’m not hungry. I will not binge. Food doesn’t control me. I won’t be weak. I will be skinny. I’m not hungry. I will not binge. Food doesn’t control me. I won’t be weak. I will be skinny. I’m not hungry. I will not binge. Food doesn’t control me. I won’t be weak. I will be skinny. I’m not hungry. I will not binge. Food doesn’t control me. I won’t be weak.

Feeling like fat trash today...

So inner me was like: "Wear something pretty to make yourself feel better."

So I changed into something cute...

Other inner me: "Great! Now you look like trash with glitter on it." ☆ ～('▽^人)

Cutest trash bag with mental illness alive.

｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

Another month another failure. July is so hard with family vacations and my birthday. Majorly fucked up at my capstone clinical this week and I’m trying to get into their nursing program after I graduate and I made two stupid mistakes on one day and it’s just devastated me. What if my school fails me? What if I don’t get hired? I’m trying to think about using it as a way to learn and move forward but I’m so mad at myself and just can’t even think straight. I’m waiting on the email next week so praying that I can redeem myself at my next shifts and really use the rest of the time to prove myself. I swear this all goes down I won’t even see a point in trying.

I would reach out for help but people would just say "did you look at yourself?" and laugh

My biggest motivation is that my boyfriends MOM is skinnier than me by like 20lbs :( She says she’s full off an orange

Petite

I have a lovely coworker, she is very petite, and just looking at her gives me body dysmorphia. Not her fault but I can't look at how small she is without my brain telling me to stop eating again.

Shout out to how much more pretty I’ve gotten since ⭐️ving myself

The fact that am too embarrassed to post my weight on here— 🤦‍♀️

Ate breakfast lunch and dinner like a normal person today and I can’t breathe I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE

The struggle between wanting to be thinner to the point where everyone is concerned about your health and going into recovery for the millionth time to try to save urself from this shithole is real.