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klintoris · 26 days

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Jschlatt x Fem!Reader Smut

When I started streaming, I never thought it would get me to where I am today. That's how everyone thinks, no one truly fathoms the huge increase in followers when collaborating with a huge streamer.

For me it was Jschlatt.

“YOU LITTLE FUCKING SHIT” Schlatt screamed over the call after I just murdered him in Minecraft again, stealing all of his things. “My bad” I cackle over the line, “toots’ you are so fucking lucky you live in another state” he threatens, “fuck does that mean???? Are you threatening me, big man?? I will clobber you.”, I hold my streaming camera and stare directly into it. there's a small silence before he speaks up, “Don't, don't look at me like that”, “Like what?” still making direct eye contact with the camera, “I’m-”. I cut him off “Anyway, while you weren't looking I blew up your dog.” I pull away from the camera.

Eventually after multiple matches of bickering, I grabbed my suitcase and made my way to the airport.

Schlatt was streaming, as planned. Ted was visiting and knew about my drop-in.

I pull up to the house in the Uber, getting anxious I look at my phone, I have the stream pulled up to see what the boys are up to. I get out, and standing near the door I message Ted that I am here, I watch as he tells Schlatt he's going to the bathroom. Soon Ted comes and lets me in. “ok so, I'm going to go back up and in like 5-10 minutes come into the room”, I nod, setting my suitcase near the door, along with my bag. Ted closes the door behind me and walks up the stairs, I follow him up through the hallway near the door of Schlatts streaming room. Ted walks in and closes the door behind him, assuming to keep jambo and soup out. Contemplating my entrance, the 10-minute mark hits and I open the door without my body in the doorway, schlatt and Ted both turn slowly to look at the door open. I walk into the doorway, as schlatt sees me and he turns to Ted speechless, “No fucking way”. he gets out of his chair, flinging it to the floor and throwing his hands on his head. “Hey, monkey man!!” I gloat and open my arms for a hug, “no no no how did you get here,” he says, obviously joking. “A plane, how else,” I say bringing my arms down, “aren't you excited??” I look at him, and he sighs “Only a little” he cracks a small smile.

“Alrighty big man, I gotta head out,” I say after we've been streaming for over 3-4 hours.

“What? Where are you going??” he questions me after ending the stream, I stretch “To my hotel?” I question his antics, “why not stay here? Why waste the money?” he says to me as he stares at my exhausted state. “Schlatt you don't have a spare room, ted isn't even staying here” I stare at him in confusion glancing at Ted, “Sleepover!” Ted says from the hallway as he prepares to leave for his hotel. Schlatt looks at Ted and then me raising his eyebrows, “You're funny schlatt but where the hell would I sleep?” I cross my arms looking down at Schlatt in his rolly chair, “I have a bed, I can sleep on the floor like a gentleman”, “That's silly I wouldn't make you sleep on the floor in your own house.” I stare closely trying to see his reaction. “Well” he pauses for a second, I can hear Ted stop moving to listen intently, “we could always share a bed, it's a king so we have our own postal codes almost” he grins leaning back with his hands behind his head. I internally scream, I find Schlatt very attractive but to sleep in the same bed would probably kill me. I stare, thinking, if I ever have a chance it would be now, “finnee” I cave. “there that's my girl!” he squeals like a little school girl, almost making me forget what he said. “Alrighty kids'm off” Ted speaking up from the doorway in a sing-songy voice pulls me away from my thoughts. “awwhh bye Uncle Ted,” I say hugging him, Schlatt gets up from his chair and says his goodbyes and looks at me “Okay where’ your bags?” schlatt turns to me, the doors shut downstairs as ted leaves, “by the door but I can get them its fine”. “Alright if you insist on lugging a suitcase up the stairs, knowing you it's probably heavy too, be my guest.” I sigh, “Fine, Mr. Schlatt, could you please carry my bags up to your room for me pretty please” I blink rapidly looking up at the tall man with my hands clasped as I swayed, “perhaps.”.

Crawling into the bed after doing all of my nightly routines, it's rather fucking cold. I shiver as I regret the choice of clothing, shorts and a t-shirt, only if I knew schlatt kept his room at arctic level cold. “Everything alright toots’?” he looks at me, realizing he's wearing the grey sweatpants girls fawn over, I groan “Nothin’”, he shrugs and climbs under the covers far away from me. I shiver as my teeth start to clatter, almost nothing is helping, not even Schlatts thick blankets. “You sure you’re alright?” he asks from across the bed, “Why is it so cold in here?” he chuckles as I feel the bed shift, as the bed creaks I feel schlatt pull me up against him, “there you can be warm now,” he says sliding a hand around my waist. Almost on cue, a shiver ran up my spine and my ass pushed into his dick, I froze in position after hearing him grunt. “what was that?” he says in a low voice, “not a clue” I manage to let out trying to sound as if I don't have a massive lady boner right now.

I try to shift to get comfortable, along with try not to push into him again, I graze his cock again. He holds my hips, “If you keep doing that I swear” Wanting to push his limit I speak out without thinking, “You will do what?”, there's a pause before I grind intentionally this time against him. He groans, he slides his hand from my hips to lower, his hand above my pussy, I breathe heavily anticipating his next move. He glides his hand down again cupping my clothed heat, I breathe in, sucking all the air in my lungs. Schlatt puts his head in the crook of my neck, he proceeds to start kissing and nipping at my neck slowly as he starts to practically massage my clothed pussy. I moan out, still lying on my side I turn to face schlatt, staring at him I look at his lips as he does the same. We pull each other into a heated kiss. He moves his hand from in between my thighs and gets on top of me. He lays in between my thighs, grabbing at my chest as his big hands roam around my body almost claiming it. I groan into the kiss as I feel his cock grind up against my covered pussy, schlatt notices this and grinds into me more, still gripping my chest.

He moves his lips from mine to my neck again, his mutton chops tickling at my neck as he sucks and bites at my sensitive area. “Fuck schlatt, please” I plead, not even sure of what I'm asking for.

“What is it princess?” he pulls away from my neck to look at me, “you want me to fuck that pussy of yours? Hm?” he taunts almost pouting at my state. Nodding eagerly he speaks up, “Use your words, what happened to that loud mouth of yours?”, “Please, please fuck, fuck me schlatt”. “That's it” he bellows as leans back as he practically rips my shorts down my legs, seeing the wet spot on my pink lace panties he teases me, not just with his words but his finger, grazing the spot as he says “she’s practically drooling for me, huh toots’”. I try to squirm away from him toying with my bud, but he grabs my hips and slowly hooks his finger on my panties pulling the skimpy article to the side leaning down and giving it a long lick.

He pulls away licking his lips, “She tastes almost as pretty as she looks” I moan in response, wanting to beg again he pulls his shirt over his head. I revel in the patch of chest hair before looking at his hands pulling his sweats off, I inhale sharply before he leans back down to kiss me, taking my shirt off during the kiss he breaks to look at my tits. “Fuck princess why were you hiding these from me”, schlatt starts to lick and suck at my right nipple while kneading the other tit, attempting to give them equal attention. At this point, I love the foreplay, though, the anticipation is killing me. I whine at the contact, “Please schlatt” I beckon pulling at his hair, he pulls away from my tits, “Fine fine”. Schlatt pulls back, taking my panties off he throws them somewhere behind him, attempting to close my legs he slaps them open. Schlatt takes his boxers off, and as his cock hits his stomach, the fear of god strikes me. It would be assumed schlatt would have a huge dick but I feel like ill be the next Mr. Hands. Schlatt resumes his position in between my thighs, moving his hands from beside my waist to guide his cock to my entrance, teasing it slowly before sticking the tip in. “shit, you're already so tight”, I moan a little in pain at the expected stretch, eager for him to put all of his cock in I buck my hips, he grabs my hips, almost enough to bruise them.

“M’ tryin' to hold back toots’ you aren't helping my case” he grumbles, “What if I do not want you to hold back?” I say not even thinking, he looks back and forth between both of my eyes for a second before shoving his whole cock in. I gasp at the stretch, and he begins to thrust at a normal pace, “f fuck schlatt” I suck in through my teeth before throwing my head back, “more please” I bring my head back looking at him. He's so focused on my reactions to him that he doesn't comprehend what I say until he pulls all the way back out and slams back in, his balls hitting the back of my ass hard.

“Holy shit,” he says before grabbing at my hips, leaning back on his feet he uses the fat from my hips to yank my body back onto his cock. “Oh my god”, I say clawing at his hands holding my hips, “he can't help you right now princess” he states after chuckling and then groaning. Schlatt slaps at my tits before grabbing at my neck, now using it as leverage along with my hip still, slamming me onto his cock.

As he pounds into me he makes eye contact with me before reaching down to my clit with the hand that was on my neck, rubbing at the bundle of nerves I go to throw my head back.

“Don't you fucking dare, I want you to look at me when you cum on my cock with that pretty pussy” he says through gritted teeth. I whimper at his words feeling white hot pleasure start to build up, “please please please please” I beg, “come on pretty girl let it out” as he fucks the spot in me that many have had trouble finding. “I'm, ah” I cum, and I cum hard, “That's it, that's my girl”, but he still keeps going. Not stopping. “Schlatt” I manage to get out between moans, “I'm not done with you yet”, flipping me onto my stomach he lifts my hips as he pushes himself back in. “oh my fucking-” I get cut off when he starts slamming into me again, slapping my ass roughly he holds the fat on my hips again, leaving bruises. “She takes me so well princess” I whine, starting to drool from over-stimulation before he yanks my head by my hair pulling me flush against his body.

He grabs my waist, and snakes a hand down back to my clit, “schlatt I can't, I can't”, “Yes you fucking can”, I clench on his cock as my second orgasm builds up. “F- fuck” he moans out, “cum with me pretty girl”. I moan at his words as I feel his cock twitch in me, clenching down I cum and fall against the bed. He whimpers noises I never thought I'd hear from his mouth, “Take all of it, good girl, gon’ fill you up s’ nice”, I feel him paint my walls white as he slows to a hilt. He pulls out as liquid gushes out of my abused hole, “gotta get you cleaned toots’” he says out of breath.

this is my first post AHHHHH!!! let me know if you guys enjoy and if you want more!!

#jschlatt smut #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt #schlatt x reader smut #jschlatt x y/n #schlatt #schlatt x reader

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writingduhh · 6 months

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Being Jschlatts S/O Includes (Hc) …

Shout out to my babe @lvrj4mie for the amazing ideas ILY POOKIE

Pairing: Schlatt x Y/n

Type: Fluff

▷ He’s very protective over you. Not in an unhealthy “you can’t leave” way, more of a “if anyone hurts you they’re dead” way.

▷ You have a drawer of your things at his place. After you began dating and practically spent every day at his house, he insisted that you keep a drawer of your belongings at his place.

▷ Receiving occasional bursts of affection from him. It's as if he can't contain his love and excitement, especially during those moments when he's feeling particularly affectionate. You could be sitting on the couch and he’ll just immediately smother you and attack your face with kisses… not that you mind.

▷ Definitely the Black Cat x Golden Retriever couple trope.

▷ Schlatt can be a chaotic and unpredictable character, but you're there to provide stability and calm in his life. You help balance his hectic lifestyle and remind him to take care of himself. You’re the calm in his storm.

▷ Despite his tough guy exterior, he's rather tender-hearted, especially when it comes to you.

▷ Spoils the shit out of you. Whatever you want he gets, even though you insist he doesn’t need to get you anything/you don’t want anything. He does it anyways.

▷ Introvert and Extrovert Balance. If Schlatt leans toward extroversion and you are more of an introvert (or vice Versa), you find a harmonious balance. He brings you out of your shell, and you provide him with moments of quiet reflection.

▷ Stealing his hoodies/shirts.

"Hey, toots, have you seen my..." Schlatt's words trailed off as he caught sight of you comfortably seated on the couch, wearing his oversized hoodie while engrossed in your game. Due to his substantial stature, his clothes practically swamped you, with sleeves rolled up twice for a better fit.

"Is that my hoodie?" he asked, a playful smirk on his face.

You nodded, a hint of mischief in your eyes. "Yeah, it is. I can take it off if you don't want me to wear it."

He shook his head, a fond smile spreading across his face. "No, no, it's okay. You look good in my clothes." He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and leaned in, planting a tender kiss on your neck.

▷ He has so many nicknames for you. Toots (obviously), sweetheart, babe, I could also definitely see him call his partner pet.

▷ Comfort in silence. Whether you’re watching him edit, gaming in the same room, or simply sitting together silently on the couch, you didn’t need words to communicate. There's a comfortable silence that speaks volumes about your connection and comfort with each other.

▷ His cats absolutely ADORE you… Maybe more than him.

▷ Late night food runs. Due to the nature of his job, Schlatt has a lot of late nights editing videos or planning future projects. On those particularly stressful nights, which is often, you like to suggest a late night food run to clear his mind. He always agrees as it’s an excuse to spend some quality time with you… and get food.

▷ You shamelessly tease him in a playful manner, fully aware that you can get away with it.

▷ Contrary to popular opinion I think he’s quite affectionate, at least behind closed doors. He’s always got a hand on your thigh, laying on your chest, or some sort of touch.

▷ You’re definitely ‘Those pet parents’ with Jambo and Burnt soup. They’re basically like your children, making you the perfect happy family.

#chuckle sandwich #chuckle sammy #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt imagines #ted nivison x reader #jschlatt fluff #jschlatt angst #jschlatt headcanons #jschlatt hcs #jschlatt imagine #jschlatt fanfic #hc #schlatt hcs #schlatt imagine #schlatt x reader #schlatt #jschlatt x you #jschlatt #chuckle sandwich x reader

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crusty-chronicles · 1 year

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Airheaded S/O Headcannons #7: Jinx (Arcane)

Starting off on a strong point, you are her everything.

She's known you since the days when Vander was still around.

You were the clumsy kid who competed with Ekko to bring her juice (Even if you always spilled it anyways)

You were the only one who managed to mess up worse than her

And as Powder, she used that to her advantage whenever someone called her a jinx

"Y/n broke five glasses yesterday by just standing, but I'm the jinx?"

But even back then it wasn't coming from a bad place, more of an understanding one.

Zaun didn't take too kindly to screw-ups, and you two were probably the biggest.

You weren't there the night everything went to shit.

So when you showed up to the bar the next day and both Benzo and Ekko were missing, you just assumed they'd quit and abandoned it.

A few days later and a man named Silco came in saying 'the bar was under new management.'

To which you replied with an 'okay!' 😃 just happy to have people again.

Then you saw Powder by his side and raced behind the counter to get her favorite juice

Only to end up faceplanting on the floor as you tripped, then proceeded to try again about 6 more times.

It resulted in Jinx smiling for the first time in days.

From then on, you're hers forever. No take backsies 😡😡😡

Whenever she wants to get away from the hallucinations voices, she'll stop by the newly renovated bar/brothel and watch you attempt to hand out drinks.

Seeing you spill it over the patrons and having them not being able to do a damn thing about it brings her so much joy.

She 100% babies you and makes Silco's henchmen do the same.

You cut yourself with glass?

Don't worry, Mama's here with a very colorful bandage and a kiss to top it off.

Having problems with the Enforcers?

Silco's paying them off (threatening them) so they leave you alone.

Inhaled too many toxic fumes and got sick?

Only soup and warm blankets for you. And cuddles. And mayhaps a bedtime story.

You are the only person allowed to call Jinx 'Powder'.

She'll kill anyone else

In Zaun, you have to be strong to survive.

And in your special case, you've punched someone harder than Vander with his gloves because they said something mean about Jinx.

The patrons at the bar all of a sudden don't wanna fight you when you make a mess.

Silco, although he despises anyone that tries to get close to his daughter, will tolerate you simply because you're too stupid to be a threat.

Although he does also like that you can hold your own if push comes to shove

He doesn't want a weakling to drag down Jinx.

It's a fact that Jinx is a brainiac when it comes to tech.

Whenever she's working on a new bomb or upgrading FishBones, she's always rambling on to you about how it works.

Even if you have no clue and stare all blank faced.

A look she adores and calls your 'thinking face'

She won't ever make fun of you for not getting things right away because you have so much more to offer than your non existent brain.

You've been there for her through everything and not once did you ever call her a jinx

Even now you don't call her by her new name.

She'll be having an episode, shouting at people who weren't there anymore, and you always wait for her to get her bearings with her favorite juice placed in front of her.

Jinx has two rules for any people that cross her path

#1 Don't bring up the Vander incident

#2 Don't call Y/n an idiot.

Anybody who tries the second is immediately shot on the spot.

No slander will be tolerated.

You two haven't officially asked the other out.

It's more of an 'I'm yours and you're mine' kinda thing.

Jinx likes to call you sunshine because you're the only light in a very dark world.

Other favorites include: sweets, baby, tough stuff, and the occasional toots

Jinx has never really had anything to call her own, so she will absolutely get jealous if someone has your attention for 1 second.

Why do you wanna even talk to anybody else? Is she not good enough anymore?

"I'm just trying to earn tips, but if you want me to take the rest of the night off I will. You're perfect, Powder."

And she's sobbing, smooshing herself against you to get as close as possible.

She's got you in a death grip saying 'she loves you so much' and 'that she's sorry' and 'wants you to keep working'.

But she makes you promise to take the next day off so she can spend the day talking your ear off while cuddling.

You're her everything, even if most of the time you're a bigger jinx than she is.

NEXT UP: Giovanni Potage

MASTERLIST

Then we start to circle back around, so stay tuned 🤞🤞🤞

#arcane #arcane netflix #jinx x y/n #jinx x reader #x reader #jinx arcane #jinx arcane x reader #stronk s/o #airhead s/o #arcane x reader

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xoxoluka · 4 days

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You comfortable with writing about reader having a semi mild belly kink towards schlatt? I just wanna feed him and take care of my tsundere teddy bear between my girlbossing times 🥰🥰💕

Only if you’re comfy ofc! ^^

yes of course! i’ve got a perfect idea for this!

"ᴛʜᴇ ᴋᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴍᴀɴ'ꜱ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ"

jschlatt x fem!reader

summary: just cooking for him, like all the time. but he absolutely loves it.

warnings: fluff, reader is possibly an influencer or streamer or something

a/n: im cooking the best i can chat its past midnight (ps i don't mind the time that you send these! i'll still see them <3)

good god, it's freezing outside. you think to yourself as you reenter your shared apartment. the warmth you're met with inside allows you to shrug off your wet, rained-on jacket and hang it up on the hook, then slip off your shoes after. two sets of paws patter towards you, jambo and [REDACTED] greeting you happily at the door by rubbing up against your legs.

"hi, my babies," you coo to them, but your thoughts are interrupted by a string of profanities ringing through the walls. Jay must be streaming tonight. might as well make something warm for dinner.

you nod and travel to the kitchen, clearing a bit of counter space and pulling out the cutting board. jambo and [REDACTED] follow close behind, and sit next to the kitchen radiator as they watch you get ready to cook.

you figure you have at least two hours, if not more, until Jay is done streaming, so that should be enough to cook a warm dinner. you first pull out chicken, and put it in a pan for the oven. as the oven preheats, you get out your pot and get chicken broth out of the cabinet to bring it to a boil.

you cut up vegetables, including carrots and celery, as well as some chopped parsley. you put it all into the pot of broth, and when the chicken is done, you cut it up into cubes and toss it in as well. it smells amazing, and you add a tiny bit of onion and minced garlic into the mixture.

overall, it took about an hour and a half to cook up, which was enough time for your boyfriend to stalk his way out of his office to greet you in the kitchen.

"what'cha cookin', toots?" he asks, startling you as he wraps his arms around your midsection and rests his head on your shoulder.

"chicken soup, my mom's recipe," you giggle and rest your head on top of his as you stir the soup.

"smells fuckin' delicious," he says, standing up straight and giving you a kiss on the cheek before walking over to grab a water bottle out of the fridge. "i've got about an hour of stream left, that good for you?"

"yep, take your time baby, i'll be here." you turn to smile at him.

later, he meets you for dinner at the kitchen island. you plated the soup nicely, the fancy soup spoon and all.

he sits at the barstool next to you, where you waited for him.

"you didn't have to wait for me," he tells you, a tiny bit of confusion in his voice.

"i wanted to," you reply, a smile on your face. "you know i love eating dinner with you."

you ate mostly in silence for the rest of the time you sat, it was comfortable and warm, just like it always was with the two of you. as much as it didn't look like it on streams, or on the podcast, or to anyone you knew, it was always like this. the apartment was never rowdy or upbeat, the two of you and your cats lived comfortably and quietly with one another.

just like now, after dinner and the dishes that Jay so kindly helped you with, where you both laid in bed with the cats curled up between your legs. you laid on top of Schlatt, your head on his stomach and your arms around his torso, with jambo and [REDACTED] both curled up with each other between your intertwined legs.

it was like a quiet, quaint, happy little family. you wouldn't trade this for the world.

"i love you," you mumble, "..so much." you nuzzle into him further, wrapping your arms around him tighter, drifting off as you listen to his breathing.

"love you too, toots." he says, one of his hands coming down to caress the back of your head.

this was absolutely everything and anything you could ever want.

pls is this bad or what

#jschlatt x reader #jschlatt fanfic #jschlatt x y/n #jschlatt x you #jschlatt #schlatt x you #schlatt x y/n #schlatt fanfic #schlatt x reader #schlatt #fluff #jschlatt fluff #schlatt fluff

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elizabarnes · 8 months

Note

Schlatt takes you on a little camping trip just the two of you. Tent sex or cabin sex happens?

Mmm yes

I think he’d get mad while trying to put up a tent.

But I’ll do the cabin

Schlatt x afab!reader

Camping

MNDI I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN

Your boyfriend, Schlatt bought a holiday cabin. This was one of those winters where you packed, got Jambo and now burnt soup, and left to go spend about a month or two in the cabin. Once you were in the cabin and everything was situated you fed and watered the cats. Now it was day four of staying in the cabin and you woke up to Schlatt sucking and biting on your neck. “J- what’re you doin’” You asked, sleep evident in your voice. “Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to wake you up.” “S’okay.” You whispered. “I’m gonna go take a shower, care to join me?” He asked you. “If you ever ask me that and I say no shoot me instantly because I must be going crazy.” You giggle as you get up. Schlatt gets up with you and grabs some clothes for the both of you, following you to the bathroom. You start the shower and undress, getting in. Schlatt does the same and once he’s in the shower he wraps his arms around your waist. You feel his hard cock on your ass as he tightens his grip on your waist. “Need help with that?” You ask as he bends you over. “Yeah, yeah I do, baby.” He says as he puts the tip to your entrance, slowly pushing forward. His thrusts start off slow and quickly pick up pace, both your moans bouncing off the walls. “F-fuck! J- I’m gonna cum!” You moan as Schlatt’s grip on your hips tightens. “Fuck- cum for me, let yourself go, baby- I’m not far behind you. Fuck- I’m so fucking close.” He groans, the warm water dripping off him, onto you. You cum on his cock and that’s what throws him off the edge, he cums in you and pulls out slowly, trying not to overstimulate you. You all finish your shower and get out, getting dressed. Schlatt opens the door and there Jambo and burnt soup are, sitting outside of the bathroom. “Awe, look, they were worried!” You giggle. “I don’t think they were worried, toots. I think they’re hungry.” He replies as Jambo gets up, walking with you all to your bed, burnt soup not far behind. You both lay down and cuddle together under the covers, the cats cuddling up on your alls intertwined legs. Schlatt turns on a movie for you all to watch and kisses the top of your head. “I love you, toots.” He says into your hair as he rubs your back.

#jschlatt #schlatt #jschlatt smut #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x reader #dsmp jschlatt #schlatt x you #dsmp schlatt #schlatt smut #schlatt x reader #afab reader

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otherloser · 4 months

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Romance Starts With The Stomach

Okay, so this is kinda my first story, like, EVER, on Tumblr, so please don't shit on me if it's bad, I am very aware of that myself, thanks 👍

Anyway, I basically came up with this story because I recently had soup (it was so good like holy crap), there's soup in BaTIM, and I remembered the line 'the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach' that Tiana says from Princess and The Frog, so yeah, I thought it would be cute :]

Fem!Reader x Ink!Bendy

Story: Y/n and Bendy have ended up accidentally making a magical contracting bond between their souls, meaning that they can't hurt each other and are sort of stuck together in the abandoned studio. They've been sort of ignoring each other for the main part up until now, but there's some bad news; Y/n is getting hungry, and she needs to eat…

~~~~

"Grooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwl..." A noise resembling much like a distant thunder strike rumbled and echoed through the corridor. A dusting of blush crept up onto my face, placing a hand on my abdomen and pressing down hard to try and muffle the complaining my stomach was making in the absence of the food it so desperately desired. This only made it worse however, appearing to instead push my middle into making even more sounds of winging and whining. The ink demon himself finally seemed to notice, his tail whipping at the air elegantly as he turned and blinked with inky and gooey eyes.

"...'S tha' you, lady?"

"Y-yeah, sorry, I haven't eaten in a while..." I mumbled apologetically, reaching into my satchel at last. "We've been running around so much, so I haven't had the chance to have a snack break."

"Figures. You humans are always hungry fo' somethin' or othah." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in a snarky tone. He'd maintained this attitude for basically the entire time. Like a fed up teenager being forced to go shopping with his mother. It was frankly pathetic, but hey, he was a demon so there wasn't much I could do, unless I wanted to be mildly inconvenienced with his unholy rage. As I rummaged around for even something small like a chocolate bar or a biscuit, my hand became more frantic, until I quickly realised. I had nothing left. My middle roared again for food.

"groooooooowl!!!"

"Uh oh.."

"W-whaddya mean 'uh-oh'?"

"I'm out. I have nothing to eat!" I explained, showing Bendy my empty bag as he leaned in and inspected it closely, grumbling to himself as seeming much more peeved with each second that my stomach called out in starvation. He brought his hand up to his face, using two fingers to massage the area between his eyes where a nose should be.

"Well that's just peachy."

"Groooooowl!"

"This is a really sticky situation 'ere."

"Grooooowwl!!"

"Bendy-"

"Seems you've gone an but the dust!"

"GROOOOWL!"

"Dude! Stop using those words, it's actually making my stomach hurt!" I exclaimed, making the demon sigh exasperated lying and lazily raise his hands up in surrender. Suddenly a very comical light bulb physically appeared above Bendy's head, taking me be surprise.

"Follow me, I know a place to grab somethin' to bite, toots!"

"Leave my toes out of this, Bendy."

~~~~

"Come on, just try it!"

"Ew! Hell no!!" I argued, using a plank of wood to keep Bendy and his suggestion away from me; In his arms he carried a really old and raw slab of meet, clearly infested with diseases I very much did not want to risk the chance of catching.

"Oh, don't be difficult, Y/n! It's just a day or two out of date" He rolled his eyes and held up the meat towards me, visibly causing me to gag and drop the plank, jumping back and hiding behind a support beam and peeking out at the ink demon cautiously.

"Yeah! 'A day or two OUT OF THE QUESTION'!" I stated, shooing him away as he grumbled to himself in cartoon speech, before chucking the meat slab to the side impatiently, to which I sighed in relief.

"I mean honestly, you mortals are so sensitive." He sassed, turning his back on me and kneeling down to inspect the drawers closely. "If you won't eat meat, you'll have to eat greens! Let's see, we have...broccoli...mushy carrots...-oh hey, an apple with a worm!"

"Gross." I whined and stuck out my tongue, watching in disgust as the inky creature scoured the cupboards for veg that was definitely as dry as wood by this point. On and on he went, listing what was there and what he liked about their staleness. I rolled my eyes, sniffing once as the air as the pangs of hunger in my stomach grew louder, only to catch a whiff of something. Something nice, veggie, meaty, brothy, edible! I sniffed the air a few more times, feeling my tummy react positively to the smell as well. All my sniffing also caught the attention of Bendy, who stood up and looked at me with a confused brow.

"Uh...are ya synisus actin' up, doll?" He asked.

"I smell something. Something..." I paused, closing my eyes and taking a long smell, before grinning brightly, "...delicious!"

And like a bullet, I was off, shooting down the corridor towards the room where the treasure was to be found. Following behind my, Bendy staggered behind, seeming to find a little trouble in keeping up with me (which was a first). Past countops and cupboards I weaved myself through the rooms, skipping down hallways until I finally came across a singular storage room that claimed host of the tempting scent. A storage room, filled with barrels, most likely filled with the most deliciously untold delicacies if it smelt this good alone! I hopped forwards and stopped in front of a barrel, opening it up hurriedly, only for my grin to drop at the sight of tin shining back up at me depressingly. Cans. A barrel full of cans. Picking up a can, I examined the label along the curve: 'Bacon Soup'.

"What'd ya find, Y/n?" Bendy asked, finally having cought up to me as I stared at the soup can, confused.

"I...what the shit is this?" I turned to him and asked, shoving the can into his gloved hands as he blinked in shock to my profanity, observing the can briefly, only to ah in realisation.

"Ah, it's bacon soup." He repeated.

"Yeah, I know what it is- why would anyone come up with it!?"

"Well, hey, I doubt there's anythin' else here, toots! You followed it's scent like a dawg, so you must like i' so SOME degree!" He defended, handing me back the can forcefully, to which I held it and opened another barrel with my free. But unfortunately, he was right, there was only more cans of bacon soup on the second barrel. I sighed in disappointment, looking back at the can in my hand, debating what to do. "...At least try i', yeah?" Bendy suggested.

"Grooooowl!" My stomach moaned. I sighed, truly defeated as I opened the can, shut my eyes tight, and took a good sip of it's contents...

...-

And within SECONDS, I was gulping down the rest of the can's delectable brothy heaven as if it were my life support! It was gorgeous, like a work of art, painted by god himself. The god of soups! I felt the smooth, syrupy texture slide down my throat and deep into my core, warming me up a pleasant amount, despite its unheated state. Finally, I removed the can from my lips and groaned loudly in pleasure to the soup's aftertaste.

"Oh my god, that's so good!" I rasped, grabbing another can and ripping the lid open, beginning to swallow the contents once more, unable to get enough! It was sooooo addictive.

"Well heeeeeelloooooooo! Y'know, I do appreciate a lady who can eat~" I heard Bendy's voice flirt with me, clearly finding my sudden addiction the the soup an amusing thing to tease me with. I couldn't give a crap though, I was just so immersed in the sanctuary that was this seductive soup.

"Ah, shut it, Satan, I'm in heaven!" I exhaled after finishing the second can, reaching for a third and sitting down on the floor with it in hand, my back pressed against the barrel surface so that I could relax. Again, I opened the can and began to wolf down the angelic and tasty substance, my life up till this point feeling almost dull compared to the very moment where I was finally rewarded with the one thing i had been missing out on this entire time: BACON SOUP! But of course, all good thinfs have to come to an end. Consuming the last of the soup from the can, I gently placed the empty tin on the floor and took a second to relax and briefly digest what saintly thing I had just experienced, my hand placed gratefully onto my belly which now remained still and silent, proving just how satisfactory the soup was in this conundrum of hunger.

"Well then, toots - are ya still hungry~?" The smirking ink demon purred, a smug grin plastered onto his face as I basked in the happiness the food had brought me, finding it impossible, for the first time ever, to even be mad with him and his teasing!

"Oh, 'hungry'? I don't recognise the meaning~" I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I enjoyed the company of the ink demon for the first time. He looked amused and happy that I was so happy after a few helpings of soup.

"Dang, tha' must've hit a reaaaaaal good spot in your stomach; you're all...smiley and stuff! Y'know, you have a nice smile, dollface~"

"Yeaaah, don't ruin it."

"Alrigh', I'll le' you have this momen' to ya'self, darlin'~"

~~~~

I mean, technically it's romantic, because Bendy's flirting the entire time? Eh, I'm counting it--

#bendy and the ink machine x reader #Food #Soup #Bendy #BaTIM #BaTDR #Bendy x Reader

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incorrectbatfam · 2 years

Note

Batfam interacting and bonding with Bernard, if it's not too much to ask?

Dick: Hey, Bernard! Tim's not here right now. Bernard: That's fine, I can come back late— Dick: *drags Bernard inside* Dick: Sorry I didn't get around to it sooner, but I've been meaning to ask, what do you do? Bernard: Huh? Dick: What do you do for a living? How do you plan on paying for that engagement ring that you'll be getting Tim in ten years? Bernard: Ten years is a long— Dick: Speaking of rings, have you seen that new Lord of the Rings show? Barbara said I should skip it, but there's something weirdly amusing about bad shows, you know? Bernard: I've heard of— Dick: *tightens his grip on Bernard's shoulder* Dick: What's your favorite bad media, Bernie? Can I call you Bernie? Bernard: Actually, I prefer— Dick: Sweet. Anyway, Bernie, lemme show you my collection of Dreamworks movies that people claim are flops but are actually cinematic masterpieces. —————

Jason: This is the kitchen. It's where we keep the knives. Bernard: *sweats* ————— Damian: You must be my brother's lover. Bernard: Yeah, I guess. Damian: Do better. ————— Bernard: Wait, so everyone in your family is a vigilante? Duke: Pretty much. Even Jarro. Bernard: Who's Jarro? Duke, whispering: We don't talk about Jarro. ————— Bernard: Let me get this straight. Cullen: I've tried. It's best not to fight it. ————— Stephanie: You must be Bernard! I'm Steph. Bernard: You're Tim's ex, right? Stephanie: Oh, yeah, but don't worry, it won't be awkward. 'Cause you know what we got in common? Bernard: What? Stephanie: We're the only two people who know about eight-year-old Tim's Honey Boo Boo parody where he puts on his mom's dress and pretends to be a pageant princess called Timmy Toot Toot. Bernard: Proof or it didn't happen. Stephanie: *pulls out her phone* ————— Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: Um, hi? Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: Can I help you? Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: Oh, you must be Cass! I'm Bernard. Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: *visibly uncomfortable* Cassandra: *stares* Bernard: I think I'll head out... ————— Bernard: Hey, sorry I'm late. Barbara, in front of her laptop: No worries, Bernard Dowd of 8255 Cypress Avenue, it's not your fault your Uber surreptitiously stopped at the Ben and Jerry's on Main Street for 11 minutes. That must have been frustrating, but at least you could use your 50% off coupon for a Cherry Garcia and only had to charge $2.65 to your MasterCard ending in 3363. ————— Harper: You know how to use a blowtorch? Bernard: No. Harper, handing him a blowtorch: You do now. ————— Carrie: Your name's Bernard? Bernard: Yep. Carrie: Why? ————— Kate: As an elder gay, I've always felt a tug of responsibility to protect my kin, and there's no baby gay more precious to me than Tim. Bernard: I'll treat him well. Kate: I know you will. But just in case, have you ever heard of the Secret Union of Toolbox Lesbians? Bernard: Can't say I have. What exactly, uh, do they do? Kate: Normally they go around fixing things. Cars, door hinges, you name it. But sometimes they'll take on... additional duties. Bernard, nervously: Like what? Kate: *squeezes his shoulder* Kate: I hear you're a fan of unsolved mysteries. Bernard: ————— Alfred: Take a seat. Master Tim will be out shortly. Bernard: Thanks. What are you cooking? It smells good? Alfred: Oh, just a traditional English soup. A diplomat once told me it was the best thing he ever had. Bernard: Really? Alfred: Indeed. Alfred, whispering: The secret is a little touch of arsenic. ————— Selina: You like cats. Bernard: Sure. Selina: This one's a keeper. ————— Bruce: You be good to Tim, or else. Bernard: I will, I promise. No need to gut me with a batarang. Bruce, confused: What are you talking about? Bernard: Nothing, don't worry about it. Bruce: I won't. Bernard: Phew. Bruce, sipping his coffee: But you should. ————— Tim: I'm so sorry about my family. Bernard: They're a lot, but it's okay. They remind me of you. Tim: Aw, I love you. Bernard: I love you too... Timmy Toot Toot.

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simpliao · 2 years

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UDBSISNDSIKF MADAM I CANNOT! STOP! SCREAMING!!! THESE FICS!!! UGGGGGHHHHHH

You are one of the few people giving me my JSchlatt fix, and I cherish every second of it. If I may be so humble as to make a request, can I suggest something involving praising and giving some lovin’ to the Big Guy himself? I feel like he’s the kind of guy to not recognize his own value and contributions, especially in a romantic relationship. Sometimes to just need to smooch, hold, pamper, and remind your boyfriend how much you love him. Thank you and bless your goddamn angelic heart🤍

hey, hey, hey lover ; (irl) schlatt x reader

summary : schlatt is adamant about breaking up, y/n sees through it. and even if he doesn't ever feel worthy, if it takes her an eternity of holding him close and assuring him; she'd do it in a heartbeat.

info : angst to fluff, feelings of unworthiness, depression, poor mental health, mentions of anger issues, reader comforting schlatt, she/her, afab reader. title sourced by the amazing song by the daughters of eve.

a/n : SO GLAD YOURE ENJOYING ANON, BLESS YOU TOO AWE ! decided to take his self deprecation to the extreme just to have some heart warming, chicken-soup-for-the-soul type fluff. Still doing my best to roll out requests!

to anyone who may relate to the way schlatt feels, even if you don't have your own y/n please do know you're not alone. people love you so please seek help if possible. you can get through this toots, we're all rooting for you. ♡

Everyone had their down days, days where everything seemed so hopeless and desperate; being that Schlatt wasn't always the most mentally healthy he would have these feelings more often than not. Never dare uttering the things his mind conjured up in the midst of his constant battle against himself. He took medication, medication that he hid in the back of drawers and never mention to his lover, sometimes he'd never find a moment alone and he wouldn't take it. He'd deal with it on his own, this was his problem, and therefore he figured it was his to deal with.

Other people had their own struggles, adding his would only hurt and stress other people. It wasn't worth mentioning, they'd only want to help him to be civil, because they were forced into it out of pity. He knew his girlfriend of so long didn't need that added stress when she's already practically worked herself to death, she didn't need him to weigh her down.

That's when real rainy days rolled in, when he wouldn't take his levothyroxine, when his lover found herself working late nights and leaving him alone at midnight with nothing but his own thoughts. Sleep would never find him, his mind too busy overthinking every decision in life, he wasn't doing enough, he wasn't enough. He'd find on those still, cloudy nights, nothing but doubt; Y/n must be working late because she can't stand me anymore. Every little distant memory finds a way to him, he wasn't the kind of guy to like PDA, she wanted to hold hands but he didn't, she must still resent him for it.

It sounds slightly exaggerated and stupid, like he was one of those alt, fifteen year old girls he oftentimes would poke fun at. But being in the right state of mind meant that he couldn't see past the fog of doubt that clouded his better judgement. She'd always kiss him goodbye, she'd always whisper the sweetest of nothings into the lobe of her ear, and repeat time and time again how much she loved him; but he was sure she did it out of pity. Who could possibly love him? His temper was short, he was by no means ever the hottest guy in the room, he told stupid jokes that he knew people only laughed at because they had to.

Y/n deserved so much better, just seeing her smile left a bittersweet ache in his chest; she would be happier with someone else. He adored her like she hung the stars and moon themselves, she was otherworldly beautiful to him, always so caring and bright. She was the light holding him together, but he was convinced he was the darkness that consumed and poisoned her life. Her insistence of her love was nothing more than sweet lies that he felt as if he just knew weren't true.

Those murmurs from within the confines of his mind reminded him of this constantly, a fake truth of his own worth and care from others. They whispered lies that would occupy his mind rent free, no one would ever truly love him because there was nothing there to love. Why was Y/n even with him? If he truly loved her he would want her to be happy, and how could she ever be happy with him? He was imperfect, he was damaged, why would she want a relationship that forced her to pick up the pieces he struggled to pick up on his own?

It all cumulating to a breaking point inside him, when Y/n confronted him about it. Her voice gentle and hesitant, she'd picked up on his behaviours for a while but marked it up to stress or just an off day. It slowly bled into his work, his relationship; becoming more closed off and distant. She wasn't entirely sure what was happening, that was until she found the pill bottle whilst cleaning up their bathroom. The original worry of some kind of addiction morphed into pain and regret once she searched up said medication's name to find out what it happened to be: anti-depressants.

She felt the realization sink into the bottom of her stomach, how could she not have known or have been there for him? She was determined to make it right on her end; be the girlfriend that she knew her boyfriend desperately needed and deserved.

"Darling, had there been something on your mind?" She didn't want to immediately jump into her findings, maybe he had an explanation for them? The last thing she wanted was to make him defensive and start a fight. She could have never anticipated the words that fell past his lips, all while never managing to hold eye contact longer than a few seconds at most.

"I..." want to hold you and have you tell me everything is okay "...want to break up." She stood before him shellshocked, mouth agape and seemingly straining to try and say even a single word. Eyebrows furrowed together with only a single thing escaping her, "what..?" Confusion evident upon her delicate features, Schlatt was breaking apart from the inside. She tried to take a step forwards, but all he did was take one back; maintaining the space between them. If she got to close, if her touch graced his skin and he'd be sucked back into his addiction of the feeling of her, he'd lose his self control and break apart. She didn't need his mess, it was his to fight alone; she deserved to fly.

"Why?" Her words were much firmer, a saddened tone lacing between them. At first came heartbreak, and slowly as she awaited for an answer to her cracked voice, she could see with the brief moments of eye contact something clouded in his eyes. He was hurting... It kind of clicked that he was pushing her away, he was trying to cope and prevent her from finding out the truth. He was still suffering, and knowing Schlatt as long as she has, it was in character.

She blinked away tears, he was ready to get into a shouting match and braced for the absolute worst. What he didn't brace for were the arms of his girlfriend to wrap around him, soothing voice never ceasing. It was a risk on her part, if he was genuinely wanting to break up and she babied him like this he would certainly blow a fuse; but she had faith in what she's learned in all their time spent together. And to her favour, rather than get upset, he melted into her embrace. "I don't..." He paused at his words, trying to bite his tongue of his words. "...I don't love you anymore." Those words did sting, no question about it, but he wasn't in his proper state of mind. Y/n promised to be with him until the end, she intended to live up to that promise, and now was not the end; just a bad day.

"I know, Schlatt. I know you're taking medication to try and help yourself." He tensed up at her words, in response she only made her grasp more reassuring and tightening her hold; letting him know she's there. "I really do love you, you know that right? I understand your belief in privacy, but you're obviously hurting; and seeing you hurt really does hurt me too." His large hands slowly came up to rest upon the back of her head and her back, head hung downward to face her. "Please don't hurt because of me." It was similar to that of a desperate plea of a disciplined child, as if he was the one at fault. "I don't hurt because of you, I hurt for you; that's because I love you."

"Then maybe you shouldn't love me." His words, spoken in a hushed manner whilst he kept his eyes glued to hers, filled with such belief of the falsehood. "I will always love you. Please, talk to me. What made you want to break up..?" He held a pause for a handful of moments, heart in a tough ache before he breathed out his confession. "Because you deserve someone better. Someone who won't hurt you, who'll make you happier." Her eyes watered at this, he'd been hurting so bad and what had she done? Seeing him like this, defeated, nothing like he should ever be, killed her a little on the inside.

"Schlatt." Her doe-like wide eyes are those that he could stare into forever, "no one will ever make me happier than you do. You're just... You're my everything. You think of me when I don't think of myself, you're secretly so damn compassionate, the most loving person I'd ever had the pleasure of meeting..." She burrowed her head into his chest, "and it kills me thinking you'll never see yourself the way I see you. You complete me, so please don't punish yourself to fight this alone. I'm here for you, and I always will be."

He practically fell into her arms at that point, gripping onto her like she'd be forever whisked away should his grip every loosen. Something in his chest alleviated, and for once he could finally breathe again. Holding her in his arms felt so natural, like they were always meant to be this close and interlocked together. For the first time a good while, he could feel the love again. She knew his feelings of self hatred and inability to handle praise wasn't just magically blown away, internally was still scarred and beaten down, he was still hurting. But at least for right now she could soothe his pain even just a little, and take the first steps towards recovery.

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wasabidottie · 8 months

Text

"Cash or Card?" (Jschlatt)

A/n: call me dj khaled cuz heres ANOTHA ONE! Thought ab this one while i was at work. it sucked the life out of me just a wee bit. hope you enjoy :))

The checkout lines at the bustling supermarket stretched ahead, a canvas of waiting customers with carts filled to the brim. Amid the beeping scanners and rustling grocery bags, you stood behind the cash register with a practiced efficiency, scanning items and exchanging pleasantries.

As you swiped a can of soup across the scanner, a voice chimed in from the other side of the counter. "Well, well, look who we have here."

You looked up to see a man with an all too familiar Yankees cap pulled low over his eyes, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "Hi there! Finding everything you need?"

He nodded, his gaze fixed on you. "Oh, I'm definitely finding something I need."

Your eyebrows raised in curiosity, his tone hinting at something more than just groceries. "Is there something specific you're looking for?"

He leaned in a little closer, his eyes twinkling with a blend of mischief and charm. "Well, toots, I'm on the hunt for a chance to take you out."

Your surprised chuckle escaped before you could hold it back. A smile tugging at your lips as you recognize this man to be your boyfriend, "Taking me out, huh? That's a new one."

He chuckled, his grin never wavering. "Hey, gotta keep things interesting, doll face."

"Oh, of course. How silly of me." You teased, "What brought this on?" you say, with one eyebrow raised

His voice lowered a touch, the words spoken only for you. "Well, you look damn good in that uniform, sweetheart."

The compliment was punctuated by a quick wink, a hint of his playful nature peeking through. Your cheeks flushed, the blush deepening when the person behind him in line cleared their throat pointedly. Schlatt sent a glare to the person behind him and leans his arm onto the counter.

"So, what do you say, doll face? Dinner and a movie, my treat."

"I'm working, Jay." You replied, suddenly brought back to the reality of your bustling work environment.

He continued to flirt with you and as the last item was scanned and the total displayed on the screen, he looked at you with a playful smirk. "So, sweetheart, how about you give me a discount?"

"Sorry, sir. We don't offer discounts." You answered with a slight shrug.

"Come on, toots. I'm sure we can work something out." He said, his tone dropping a bit, as if sharing a secret with you.

You chuckled, amused by his persistence. "I'm sorry, sir. Company policy."

His eyes twinkled with mischief. "How about your number then?"

The man waiting in line behind Schlatt gave up and walked away, shaking his head. You laughed, "Are you trying to get me fired?"

Schlatt smiled and reached out, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. His gaze softened a bit, a tenderness reserved just for you.

"Of course not, doll face."

A woman from a nearby register glanced over, clearly concerned by the conversation happening. Your co-worker was busy scanning items, her gaze focused on the conveyor belt.

Schlatt's unabashed flirtations and the exchange between you two had certainly caught the attention of those nearby. The woman from the nearby register looked over with a mixture of curiosity and concern, while your co-worker seemed to be doing her best to avoid getting involved.

Just as you were about to continue the banter, your manager, Thompson, entered the scene, his expression a mix of confusion and disapproval. He approached the counter with a stern look, clearly taken aback by the situation unfolding before him.

"Excuse me," Thompson interjected, directing his attention towards Schlatt. "Is there a problem here?"

Schlatt turned to face him, his trademark grin firmly in place. "No problem at all. Just having a friendly chat with this lovely cashier."

Your manager's stern expression deepened, and you could sense his growing discomfort. "This isn't a social gathering, sir. This is a place of business. I'm going to have to ask you to move along."

Schlatt's eyes widened in mock surprise, a playful innocence in his tone. "Oh, my apologies. I didn't realize. I was just complimenting her on how efficiently she's been handling my groceries."

Thompson's gaze shifted to you, and you could practically feel the weight of his silent inquiry. Your cheeks reddened, but you knew you had to set the record straight.

" I should explain," you began, your voice slightly embarrassed but firm. "This my boyfriend. He's just being his usual, uh, charming self."

Your manager's expression shifted from confusion to understanding, though a hint of disbelief remained. "Oh, I see. I didn't realize."

Schlatt extended his hand with a grin. "No harm done. Just thought I'd lighten the mood around here."

Your manager shook his hand, a mixture of relief and amusement on his face. "Well, you certainly accomplished that."

As your manager walked away, Schlatt turned back to you, a grin on his lips. "Looks like I made quite the impression."

You rolled your eyes, though a fond smile played at the corners of your mouth. "You always do."

As the bustling activity of the supermarket continued around you, you and Schlatt shared a moment of quiet amusement and connection. Even though his flirtatious act had caused a brief stir, you knew that beneath it all was the love and affection you shared.

"Well, doll face, I guess I'll have to find another way to sweep you off your feet," he said, his voice laced with playful determination.

You laughed, reaching out to gently push his cap up, revealing his brown hair and mischievous grin fully. "I'd expect nothing less."

As he leaned in to give you a quick kiss, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the unique and unexpected moments he brought to your life. You pulled away from the kiss and looked him dead in the eyes, "Is that going to be cash or card?"

#chuckle sammy #jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x you #schlatt #schlatt x reader #jschlatt #the soup lore continues #chuckle sandwich x reader

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crabonfire · 2 years

Text

Mercs when your sick :(

warnings: none!!

characters: all mercenaries

note: sorry if these sicknesses r badly described,,usually whenever I get sick my Asian household gives me a cup of tea to drink and oil to rub on my stomach to feel better...and it works? so I'm not very into how Americans or other people do it 😭😭

♡Scout♡

• usually, you and him would have breakfast together so you'd have time with each other before matches start. So when he waits for you to wake up and notices your still in your room, he gets a bit worried.

• he'll knock on your door waiting for an answer. When he doesn't get one, he'll force himself in. did you die??? are u good

• then when he notices your stuffy nose and irritated expression, he goes full on panic mode.

• he's never had to care for sick people before...uhh...

• "Shit, you don't look too good Y/N...uhhh fuck-"

• asks you what's wrong, lists every little thing you say and runs off to medic.

• "Ah, a common fever, a cold, nausea...alright. Just make zhem drink zhis before zhey eat anything. If zhey start to experience headaches too, give zhem zhese."

"Thanks doc, I mean it."

• he runs back to you and starts explaining, "UH so uh...the doctor said-"

• insert really poorly explained explanation

• after he's done that, he will stay by your side all the damn time until you feel better.

• "You uh...ya feelin' any better toots? ya need anything? Water? No? Okay, just checkin'."

• after he realises your okay, just a bit under the weather, he pretends like he wasn't worried as hell. But it's pretty obvious, I mean the man is clinging on to you and cuddling you in bed. The way he's holding you feels like if he let's go his whole entire world will collapse, man is he clingy.

• after a few, if your still sick he'll beg you to get better. Why? he can't kiss you. if he kisses you, he'll get sick too. He said "What? I can't kiss you??? Why not...I don't mind being sick with you." But also "...wait but if I'm sick then who's gonna take care of you?? Goddammit!"

• he will pepper your face with kisses all over your body, just not receiving any back. Will try to make soup for you and does a surprisingly decent job. Will MURDER anybody who even thinks of bothering you.

• "Get well soon okay? I miss not being able to make out with you. Its weird...but also I just don't like seein' ya sick. so get well soon okay? and-ask me for anything. Let big strong scout take care of you, got it?"

scout make out with me challenge

♡Soldier♡

• he's the first to wake up at 5 in the freakin morning and wakes everybody else up by yelling into their doors. he always goes last with you though, letting you get that 5 minutes of extra sleep.

• when he does get to your door, he knocks slightly less aggressive than with the others. "WAKE UP CADET! WE HAVE A FULL DAY AHEAD OF US. ITS TIME TO WAKE UP!"

• you groan loudly and wake up, stepping to the door. He's quite confused to be greeted by you, yet you have a stuffy red nose and you look like you slept in a dump. Oh boy, what happened?

• "CADET, YOU LOOK DREADFUL! WHAT HAPPENED? DID YOU GET ATTACKED LAST NIGHT?! TELL ME WHICH PERPETRATOR DID THIS TO YOU. I WILL HUNT THEM DOWN AND MAKE SURE THEY GO THROUGH THE ROUGHEST AND RUTHLESS TORTURE ANY MAN HAS TO EVER ENDURE."

"Solly, I think I'm sick- sneeze oh there it is sniff."

"SICK?! NOOOOOOOOO-"

• he's super dramatic about it, even more than you thought.

• carries you bridal style and runs off to Medic's medbay before Medic is even in there. He places you onto the patient bed and runs off to get Medic.

• "Soldier, did jou really have to barge into my room? I was very busy in zhe bathroom!"

"YES! IT WAS MANDATORY. NOW CURE THEM!"

"I'm afraid that's not how it works, but I will do my best."

• will not let you leave your room, he stands guard infront of your door to make sure nobody even dares to step foot near it.

• he checks in on you a lot, asks Engineer to make you some soup.

• "ARE YOU ALRIGHT NOW CADET? DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE? NO? OKAY."

• once he's sure nobody is going to bother you, he's holding you tightly and making sure you feel comfortable. it's surprisingly quiet but he doesn't want to irritate your head, from time to time he will ask how your feeling and if he needs to get more soup or medication.

• he will be very wary of you now, after you get better he will inspect what you eat and how you feel so that you don't get sick anymore.

• "WE NEED TO CHECK FOR THE GERMS IN THAT. WHAT IF IT HAS RABIES!?!? NO, I WILL EAT THAT FIRST TO CHECK."

•assure him your okay please, he will not stop this for weeks.

solly?!?!??! faints

♡Pyro♡

• you and him cannot be separated. even in matches, so when you come back looking sick he's very very worried.

• "hhudda hhuuddhaa mmddhh??" (Are you okay??)

" sniff I'm feeling a bit sick, now that you mention it."

"HHUDYDA?!?!??!" (SICK?!?!?!!)

• doesn't know what to do but first thing he does is lock you in your room, then running off to engie for help.

• " SNIFHG HENGHEE!! HHUDA HHDYYDA HUHDA HHAHD MMFHA HUDDHA HHUDA HHFHUDA HHUDA HMMH :(" ( sniff ENGIE!! Y/N IS SICK AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO :( )

"Woah easy there buddy! Calm down-calm down. Hmm..oh! We could make some soup for them? Soup helps with sickness usually. Would you like if I made them some soup?"

" HHHUDA!! :D" (YEA!! :D)

"Great, I'll start workin' on it. You go ask Medic for some medicine."

• as soon as engie says that he will RUN GALLOP FUCKING FLY OVER TO THE MEDBAY.

"Ah, hello pyro-AH-"

Pyro has both his hands on medic's shoulders, shaking him aggressively.

"HUDDHA MMFHA HUDDAHHA MHHEHUDA HHUDA MHHEEDS HHHEM!" (GIVE ME SOME MEDICINE Y/N NEEDS THEM!)

"PYRO VHAT ZHE FUCK I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU-"

• Engie overhears this and stops his cooking to give Pyro a lecture on why you should not yell and grasp your hands while you shake them aggressively, begging them for medicine. He understands and apologises, as Medic huffs and gives him the medication you need.

• when he finally unlocks the room he has a bowl of nice warm cream soup for you. He sets it aside on the table by your bed as he runs back out to get your assorted medication.

• he will spend the entire day with you, drawing cute pictures of you together and writing get well soon notes non stop.

• if your not well by tomorrow or stay sick for longer, he will leave you sweet messages while he's out on the battle field.

"Get well soon sunshine :) -pyro"

"I miss you!!! -yours truly"

"I just set 3 people on fire and all I could think about was you, love you. -pyro"

also ppl infantilize him a lot when I think he'd be a very corny partner, pyro my beloved.

♡Demoman♡

• You usually come by to check up on him every night to see if he's drinking too much or getting into trouble. Sometimes he'd get super drunk on purpose just for you to take care of him.

• but your not there, in fact now that he thinks about it he hasn't seen you all day. hmm...u good?

• he goes over to your room, half sober and notices your slumped body on the table. Your asleep? But you seem annoyed. He notices how red your face is, and presses the back of his palm gently on your forehead. My god, your burning up!

• he's been taking care of his mother for a long time, so of course he knows how to take care of an ill person.

• he'll gently carry you and place you onto your bed, then get a cold wash cloth. if you wake up in the process, he will greet you softly. this man may be half drunk right now, but he knows when he needs to sober up!

"Hiya lassie, ye slept on the bloody desk and I can tell yer burnin up! Stay in bed for a bit for me, ok?"

• he will give you a kiss on your forehead, before heading off to your bathroom and preparing you a lukewarm bath. while you both wait for the water to fill the tub, he sits on the side of the bed, placing the cool wash cloth on your forehead.

• "Heh, how could ye get sick like this? Ye must've not been takin' care of yerself eh? No worries, I'm here."

• he makes sure your super comfortable, even refusing for you to walk as he carries you into the bath. letting you undress, he waits by the tub to make sure everything feels right.

the waters not too cold right? it shouldn't be, it should be lukewarm. do you want a sponge bath instead? No? okay. that's fine.

• once you get out of the bath, he gives you everything you need. Getting you light clothing, even making you a cool drink to rid of your fever. He won't stay in bed with you, because he doesn't want to crowd your sickness. But once he knows your asleep, he will smile and leave you alone.

• if your still sick by tomorrow? he will try extra hard to make sure your feeling better, anything you want he will get. After you do feel better, he will take you out to a fancy dinner. ( some ppl keep forgetting tav is rich and I find that so funny tbh) and treat you the entire day, giving you a free day as a treat for you.

man I love tav sm

♡Heavy♡

• you two were having lunch together after a long match, you were absolutely killing it on the battlefield! though you made the mistake of not showering right after the match, making your body become drenched in sweat.

• "Ah...ACHOO!"

"...Y/N...are you ill?"

"Nah...probably just got something caught in my -ACHOO!"

• oh no!! you got a cold :(

• he gets a bit worried, but he has taken care of his entire family once when they were sick, so this is no problem.

• does not let you out of your room.

• makes you tea with some honey, and prepares you some delicious chicken noodle soup!! the best soup for colds :)

• will stay in your room with you for the day, asking you every couple of minutes if your okay. though he knows rest is important when in a cold, so he usually just stays quiet reading in your desk while he makes sure you don't wake up in the middle of the night or anything similar to that.

• honestly like...like super duper strict yet he's so sweet. if cold gets worse, he will get some medicine from Medic. Some to soothe a sore throat, some to clear a stuffy nose, all that jazz.

• "lisichka, are you feeling better? if not, Heavy is always here to help. please do not be shy to ask."

• makes sure nobody bothers you, if anybody comes to knock on your door at night all he will do is glare at them and shush them. "No, They are sick. If you do not stop bothering them I will rip your tiny head from tiny body. understand?"

• not much to say other than the fact he's not leaving your side for the day. he makes sure your 100% back in tip top shape before he even THINKS of leaving you alone while your sick.

• if you don't get better for a while, he will be extra diligent...and worried. He knows he's overreacting, he's usually someone who never does that, but what if you get sicker? a rougher disease? he wouldn't know what to do.

• though when Medic assures him its just a cold that's lasting longer than usual, he's more content with himself and tries not to worry.

• before you sleep, he will always give you goodnight forehead kisses. I can see he isn't a very romantic type of person, so moments like these is when he feels truly vulnerable with you. He blushes every time, this adorable man.

• "goodnight moya lyubov, get well soon."

I'm gonna kiss heavy💯💯💯 REAL!!!

♡Engineer ♡

• you two were relaxing in your room, he was talking about his latest invention and you were happily listening.

• but then you felt a weird feeling in your stomach, like you wanted to throw up. And...you did. You gagged and ran straight for your bathroom, throwing up in the toilet seat.

• he was quite shocked, and came after you. As you threw up, he kneeled next to you and rubbed circles on your back. "Hey hey, that's it let it all out..."

• when you finish, he's super duper worried. "Sugar-cube...are you alright? You seem a bit sick...did you eat anythin' funny?"

"Now that you mention it...Scout did give me a weird tasting can of bonk earlier."

"That scout...tell me, what do you feel?"

• he will write in his head about the things your feeling, and go straight to the doctor.

so a cold, sore throat, and slight nausea? cool cool, he's got it covered.

• "Sit tight honey, I'm gonna get some medicine for ya."

• is pretty calm honestly. he doesn't get sick a lot but when he does, he usually takes care of it so he can go straight back to work. So he's not worried or anything. he's a smart guy, of course he'd know it's best to take care of yourself.

• rest is crucial to cure a cold, so he will insist on leaving you to your room. he will check up on you every couple of hours, if your awake he'll ask if you need anything and if your feeling better.

• if you get worse, he will stay with you the entire time. leaving his work unattended just for a bit.

• very caring. each sneeze you let out or the way your tired eyes struggle to stay open makes his eart ache just a little.

"You don't need to force yourself to be awake, darlin'. I don't mind watchin' over you."

or something corny as fuck like "Even when you got that puffy red nose and those weary eyes, ya still look adorable."

• not much to say other than that honestly, just a sweet, caring and calm lover when your sick.

engie my beloved

♡Medic♡

• he knows your sick without you even telling him

• will randomly tell you to get onto the patient bed.

"Medic...what are you doing?"

"Checkup! Jou are sick mein schatz, I just need to know exactly vhat sickness it is. places gloves on now, relax. "

• checks on your eyes, mouth, all thay jazz. Once he does he asks you some normal questions.

like "How have jou been feeling lately? Any dizzyness while working?"

• after a small checkup, he writes it all on his board and gets some medication from his drawer.

"Alright, jour body temperature is unusual and from jour sore throat and lack of sleep jou may be getting a fever tomorrow or tonight. Once jou do, I want jou to take zhese. Take zhem after jou eat, three times a day, and zhis before you sleep tonight. If it does not cure by the next two days, I will give jou more to help with it. Understand?"

"Yea..thank you medic."

"Of course, take care of jourself more...and get more sleep for God's sake mein liebe."

• are you surprised he guessed your fever before it even occurs? Yeah. are you complaining? oh fuck no.

• it's amazing how he could guess, because as he said, by tomorrow morning you had been feeling terrible. As you placed your hand on your forehead, the heat it radiated was absolutely irritating.

• when you got out of the room to get yourself some food, to your surprise medic was in the kitchen...making food?

• "Ah mein schatz jour awake, guten morgen!"

"Morning medic, what'cha makin'?"

"Breakfast of course! I am making chicken noodle soup! With the help of heavy, I cannot cook haha."

outta nowhere, Heavy just appears 😭😭

"Hello."

"holyshit-hi heavy!"

Medic begins to explain your diet for the day, what to eat what to avoid, what to do and what to not do, etc.

As he does, Heavy is cutting up fruits for you. Medic says fruit is good for fevers.

Once the soup is done, Medic sits you down and let's you eat. "How is it?"

"Mmm...this is soooo good babe. You and heavy did a great job, thank you!"

"Thank you Y/N. "

"I'm glad jou like it, remember your diet, okay?"

"Yeah yeah, just leave me to eat this soup already."

With a hearty laugh, he gives you a kiss on your temple as him and heavy both go their separate ways.

• he won't really spend a lot of time with you, he doesn't want to distract you so for the entire day he let's you rest up in your room as he continues his work.

• not a very passionate man when your sick, but he really just wants you to get better, don't take it to heart.

medic cannot cook LMFAOOOOO

♡Sniper♡

• you went into his camper van already feeling a bit nauseous, but you decided to ignore it because you wanted to spend time with him.

• as he was ranting about how scout stole his kill, you very quickly felt the pressure build up and ran to the door, throwing up on the ground.

• he was very much surprised, it took him a second but he got up to check what happened.

• "Oh...uh...are you okay?"

"...mundy I just threw up-no, no I'm not."

"Sorry... uh...."

• HE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF A SICK PERSON. IS PANICKING. AS YOU CONTINUE TO FUCKING AGGRESJVELY THROW UP HE IS SHAKING SHIVERING HIS TIMBERS HES SO CONFUSED.

He's gotten sick but his parents are the ones who take care of him...HE DOESNT MMOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE!!! HES A SNIPER HE TAKES CARE OF PEOPLE BY SHOOTING THEM.

•"UH...WAIT HERE."

• runs off to medic, who is very concerned to find a distressed sniper.

"Doc...uh...Y/N...is uh...throwing up a lot. uh..."

insert awkward pause

"...JUST FOLLOW ME."

• takes him to you as you sit by the camper with the most sad face anybody has ever seen.

• "Are jou alright? What are jou feeling?"

You tell him what you feel, bla bla all that jazz. Medic nods as you do and prescribes you with nausea, and a cough. pretty basic stuff.

yet...sniper is so worried. again, it's common illness! But...he's never taken care of anybody. Even as an adult without his parents usually he'll just let the sickness pass without a thought in his head.

He's a bit ashamed to say the least. Ashamed he can't take care of a common illness his lover is going through.

• will stay with you all day and make sure you have everything you need. if you feel like throwing up again he'll get you some ginger tea to help soothe it.

• will go to medic personally while your chilling and ask for tips, and medic ends up rambling about illnesses to sniper. sniper is intrigued but weirdly interested??

"And for colds, jou want to make sure zhey are warm. BUT NOT TOO WARM! rambles on"

"Ah..." He says as he nods along.

• sniper tells medic he feels a bit ashamed not being able to take care of a simple illness, Medic comforts him and tells him it's fine and reassures him that it's nothing to be ashamed of. (this is a weird friendship ik but it's cute hehe)

• he does everything medic tells him, and does a really good job! Thanks to them, your all well now.

• mundy doesn't need to be worried because now he knows how to cure the ill!! Yayyyyy

he doesn't know how to take care of a sick person LMFAOOO LOSER (make out with me mundy)

♡Spy♡

• you hadn't left your room all day, heck he didn't even know if you were awake or not.

• feeling a bit worried, he knocked on your door.

knock knock

he waits for a bit, then the door shuffles to open revealing you. but, you look different.

the red puffy nose? those tired eyes? and the way you so loosely stood? oh your sick, doesn't take an idiot to figure that out.

"Y/N, are you sick?"

"...yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's a small flu, it'll pass Spy."

"Hm, no."

"..huh?"

• will ask if he can come in and as he does, you both sit down on the edge of your bed as he asks you tons of questions.

"Have you drunk any medication?"

"Yeah, once I woke up I felt pretty sick so I went to medics and he said it was best for me to rest."

"Good, have you eaten yet?"

"No, not yet."

"..I see."

silence falls between you two until he stands up and walks out of the room without a word.

"Spy? Uh...Spy where are you going?"

"Save your voice cherie, I'm going to make you a meal. Do not leave the room."

"Oh! Uh...okay."

• then he goes, leaving you in the room. it's a bit endearing how quickly he is to make you some food just by hearing the fact you need to eat.

• meanwhile, spy is in the kitchen making the most tasty chicken soup any man has ever laid their eyes on. oh my god just describing it is making my mouf water rn...yum

• scout and demoman walk into the kitchen, scout starts to bother him and demoman is trying to get a taste of the soup.

"Didn't know you could cook, Spy. You could've been making us food all this time but you really put Engie ta do all da work? wowwww, what a friend you are." rambles on

spy is too focused on his soup to care at the moment, chopping up vegetables to put in it

demo is drooling rn trying his best not to just take a big spoonful sip of it

In the end, spy just goes off with the soup and whatever is left he stores safely and threatens anyone that eats it a butterfly knife to the back of their heads. (He's saving it for you incase you want seconds.)

Now he's back in your room, a tray in his hands with soup and a fucking tea kettle with a cup.

He places it on your bedside table, as he hands you the soup. When you take it, he starts to gently pour some herbal tea into the cup for you.

When you take a sip of this soup, all your five senses activate and its like going through a delicious savory heaven of flavor. He's such a good cook, whyd he hide that talent?

The tea stays on the tray, as he leans by the door to watch you eat, smirking as your expression turns from tired into a happy one. He's quite proud of himself.

"Spy...this is so fucking good. What the hell...cook for me more? Oh my god...im drooling."

He chuckles, his voice low. "If you ask nicely then maybe I'll oblige, mon couer."

You almost splurt out your soup, he manages to make your cheeks heat up even when your sick. What kind of man says that sort of thing? Spy, spy is.

• will listen to you blabber and compliment his soup expertise, when you ask for seconds, he gets very giddy on the inside.

• for the entire time you get sick, he comes to you when you need a meal or when you need anything. You need tons of rest when you have a flu, he knows that. So, as much as he wants to hold you and cradle you in his arms, he has to leave you be.

• He doesn't want to get infected, if so, who will take care of you?

• though after, he will envelop you in kisses. Saying how much he missed your lips on his. Buys you a gift for being so well when your sick. Honestly, this guy is crazy with gifts.

spy 💘

THE END LMFAOO

sorry if some were longer than others!! I probably just didn't know what to add. Anyways, SORRY AGAIN for not posting much. Shit has been TOUGH man. But, I'm gonna write a ton for the next couple of weeks so leave your TF2 requests in my inbox!! I'm always up for ideas :)

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