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#toa has no power over me i do as i please
ukelele-boy · 5 months
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The long overdue why TOA Apollo is an enfp analysis for @fearlessinger
(I'm going to preemptively say: If anyone has a different opinion please make a new post instead of in my comments XD )
I'm going to explain using the functions. There are eight functions total: Fi, Fe, Ti, Te, Ni, Ne, Si, Se.
And each mbti type will use 4 of these 8 functions. The order the functions are in determines their type. The first function(dominant function) is used the most, the second is also commonly used, the third is more subconsciously used and the fourth is inferior function which is not as developed and tend to be used in times of crisis as a last resort.
Functions are basically types of thought processes and associated behaviors. And it's only possible to have one of each type of F, T, S, N with extroversion or introversion classification. 
Hence it would be impossible for a person to have both Fi and Fe. 
I won't go into too much detail on this so if you guys are interested you can look at the link at the end of this post for more details.
But anyways, here we will take a look at the functions and decide what Apollo is. 
How much the traits of each function show through depends on their ranking in the 4 stack. Higher ranked functions tend to be used more etc etc. 
Lets start: Te vs Fe. 
Fe people tend to value the group and the emotional wellbeing of others. They also care about fitting in and belonging to the group. "how does the group feel about this?" 
Te people value the group but from a productivity and practical wellbeing standpoint. They care about getting things done effectively. 
A very basic example, if deciding if the population should be waiting at a traffic light for a time or have the option to speed past it but crying and sobbing for 1 minute. A Fe person might lean towards letting everyone wait but the Te person might lean towards letting everyone speed through. This is because Fe is considering the emotional state while Te is considering the time wasted from the person's life. 
You might be inclined to say then Apollo should be Fe! He cares about his friends! But I'll actually argue he does not have Fe. Recall that a person can only have either Fi or Fe.
Fi people tend to have a  personal moral system that is very tied to their sense of self, and a desire to figure out who they are and what they believe in, and where they belong. You can argue that all people do this, but I'll say Fi havers definitely does this way more than average. Especially if the Fi is first or second in the function stack. Fe sees identity as something that is part of you, "I am what I am". 
They will never have the thought of "oh i did xyz but that's not really me" Fe will consider that since they did it, it is them. 
Apollo is a strong Fi. He values his identity a lot. During TOA, he struggles with his identity after losing what he thinks makes him, well, him. Hence you can see his original concept of his identity was tied to what he could do as a god, and his beauty and powers. Once he lost that, he lost his sense of self. This is devastating for a Fi because their identity is heavily tied with their moral system. Fi make decisions based on their moral compass that they created over their lifetime. This allows them to quickly make decisions based on it in times of crisis. They may say "I FEEL xyz" but the feeling they speak of is generated through their moral system. 
Outside input -> Moral system + identity -> feeling - > decision - > action. 
An older, experienced Fi user will be able to sense what they are feeling and make quick decisions based on it, and leave the analysis part to their databank of past judgements. However, on the outside this can look rash and like they are making decisions based on emotions (which is true. But there's more to it!) 
Apollo lost his sense of self and had to start from scratch. This makes him begin to doubt his morals and past judgements, because they were all part of his old self, and that's now gone. Now how can he make the "right" decision? He no longer knows what is right. He has deluded himself that his choices were right for so long, that once his self is shattered and he is rebuilding his identity from scratch, his entire world tilts. Key word here is delude, he probably already had a sense he was doing something wrong but he ignored it and kept using the old pathways of thought he made to arrive at conclusions. Now that its like this:
Outside input -> ?????? -> feeling - > decision - > action.
 
It leaves him in constant doubt about his present and past self. 
So yeah, Fi. 
And Fi users must have Te, so Te as well. But I argue his Te is lower than Fi and not that noticable. 
Now, we move to Ne vs Ni. 
Ne and Ni are two different ways of thinking and connecting things.
Ne connects thoughts in a spiderweb like pattern and hence has seemingly random jumps and connections. (The grass is green, my shirt is green too and oh, my shirt is from california, and I think california has great icecream and now we are talking about icecream.) Ne tend to derail conversations with their explorations. 
Meanwhile, Ni tend to think more linearly on one topic and discuss it to the end. Their thoughts are more like a graph form where they explore along the line. (the grass is green and it is very lush and beautiful. It grows well in the summer etc etc) Notice we are still talking about grass
Apollo's narration is a classic Ne style narration where you see him talk about traveling with Meg and the next thing he's telling you what happened in Egypt 50 A.D.
So now we know he has, Ne, Fi, Te. 
We just need to figure out whether he has Si or Se. 
Si is focused on memories and familiar things. They like consistency and patterns.
Se is focused on experiences and physical sensation. They like to explore new things and go out. 
However since these aren't as obvious, I will first narrow down the possible types. 
Mbti with Fi, Ne, Te are: 
ESTJ, ISTJ
ENFP, INFP
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And since these types don't have Se, we know he has Si. 
We can rule out ESTJ and ISTJ because Fi is not as prominent , and are more Te based (see image). 
Apollo bases his decisions on his heart (Fi) more than rules and traditions (Si) or productivity (Te).
This means his Fi is either first or second. Which means he's either INFP or ENFP. 
And now it's an easy choice because INFP is an introvert. 
And Apollo is just… extroverted, he loves being around people, he gains energy around them. He loves meeting new folks. (I can promise you as an INFP, I do not feel this ajjfjsksksk) 
Hence. 
Apollo is ENFP! A type who follows their heart, is passionate about their interests, loves learning and exploring new things, and curious.
As well, in regards to his Si as his last function (also called the inferior function) . When people are in times of extreme stress, they can sometimes fall back and unhealthily overuse their last function. For example, for Enfps they will go into "Si grip" and begin to have tunnel vision and overanalyze their past mistakes, try to make little detail perfect, project previous bad experiences onto the future, become isolated and withdrawn… 
Does this sound familiar and like a certain sun god during TOA…? 
Other enfps in fiction, that kinda have traits similar to Apollo: c!Tommy, Steven Universe. (I know ppl say steven is ESFJ but I'll maintain he's enfp based on functions) 
And if you want a well written, deeper read into Enfp functions:
Go here
Also these images:
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apollosgiftofprophecy · 11 months
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From Dusk to Dawn, Light at the End of the Tunnel, Apollo and Aphrodite bonding, and (I can't remember if this was already answered) A Titan's Demise 👀
From Dusk to Dawn
This particular fic takes place during The Titan's Curse!!! Basically, Apollo sneaking around and helping the questers save Artemis behind Zeus's back.
Apollo shenanigans galore lmao
There's Always Light At the End of the Tunnel
okay, I can't/won't say mcuh about this because 👀 i have plans but...i will say it's Apollo dropping by the Hunt post-ToA
....you know what i think i'll also do something with him dropping by the Hunt pre-PJO for poetry's sake :)
Apollo n Aphrodite bond over "not changing much" in the Greek-Roman thing
okay okay, here's the thing.
Aphrodite herself says that she didn't really change all that much when Rome surprise adopted Greece. She casually flicks between Aphrodite and Venus without much trouble because "love is universal" (like chocolate).
And in this fandom, we all will go down with the "Apollo isn't affected by the schism" theory so...bonding! :D
howmever. there is that Reyna business between Venus and Apollo. I don't know what the common consensus is on how Venus basically humiliated Apollo in front of the entire council is, but here's my two cents: She shouldn't have done that. No matter what it was about Reyna's love life that made her sad (probably that she wouldn't find romantic love but who needs that when u have platonic love eh?), she had no right to tear into Apollo like that. Especially in front of the entire Council. Who proceeded to laugh at him.
😳
Apollo may have a reputation with his relationships, but he didn't even say - or think - he was interested in Reyna. He just asked who she was and remarked she was pretty. It was in the same fashion as Hazel describing Percy as a god - sure, in Tyrant's Tomb Apollo clearly offers to be Reyna's boyfriend if she was interested but took it rather well when she laughed it off.
So yeah. whew. there's my two cents on that. don't shoot if i said something controversial. constructive criticism only please.
Anyway, going back to Aphrodite V Venus. I think the one major difference between them is that Venus may be a little more hardcore - remember, the Greek gods were taken and made more "disciplined" and "warlike". So I think Venus, while she isn't all that different from her Greek counterpart, has that little extra spice to her, a little more vindictiveness (which also adds into the topic above)
their relationship is fascinating to me and i wanna put them under a microscope. I imagine they were good friends because people often stereotype them as "dumb" and "mediocre" (probably because of the whole hot person=stupid person stereotype. and the domains they have [i.e. love, beauty, music, poetry, ooo so scary said some very dumb people who likely met their end either by a tiger they somehow found attractive or a deadly, plague-infested arrow]) and that's something they would vent about to each other. Also, shopping trips. Because I say so. Aphrodite says Apollo's the only other Olympian with any sense of style (Dionysus, she also says, also has style, but that leopard print...it's just too much sometimes. RIP)
oh yeah. and this fic immediately proceeds one other fic - but I'm not telling <3
let's just say that Venus ma~y have had an impact on the next person Apollo dated 👀
A Titan's Demise
i am caps, you are italics.
WHO WANT'S MORE APOLLO & HELIOS? ME!
WHO WANT'S ANCIENT ROME? ME!
WHO WANTS ANGST? ME-wait.
hahaha...this is all about how Apollo & Helios's relationship went sour during the Roman Empire, Helios just...disappearing one day, and Apollo inherited the domain and powers of the Sun.
Enjoy their fluff while you can.
Because I plan to go pain pain pain with this one :)
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mongoose-bite · 28 days
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Not a full liveblog; just some things.
This is Sardax, stormblooded sorcerer and charlatan, seen here after completely failing to use his sorcerous charisma to open a book, getting mad and smacking it open despite his -1 strength with a nat 20. Is he reading it? No, he's just gloating about it.
Act 1
He helps people out of mild contempt; his attitude is very much 'aren't you lucky I'm here and decided to help.' Thus he expects rewards and is prepared to turn on a dime. Lies a lot.
I let Asterion kill him when he bit him, but then reloaded because you don't get a long rest if you're dead and I was out of spell slots. I'll save that interaction for Dyce.
He gets on pretty well with Asterion; fellow liars and all that, but did not wish to share his evil book with him so he didn't. It's actually not helping me like Asterion any better; I think they bring out the worst in each other
Between Asterion, Laz'ael, taking up Volo's offer and getting Loviatar's Blessing, I think this guy is a top with a pain kink of the 'I demand you hurt me' variety. I love emergent storytelling.
Asterion pointed out power in exchange for a wretch we don't know is a good deal and Sardax was pretty much 'yeah, you're right,' and he traded Marina away without a backwards glance. And he'll happily murder the hag later if it's in his interest.
I'm taking my time and getting so much more dialogue out of some people, especially Gale for some reason?
I forgot I wasn't a strength-based human and managed to over-encumber myself by taking all the meat from the goblin camp. See him staggering back to camp laden with pig's heads like an idiot.
Watching Laz'ael go from 'ugh gross lizard' to 'let me lick you' pleased him no end, and he batted away Asterion twice to stick with her. He thinks he has no deeper feelings for her.
I got the owlbear cub I love him ;_; I then failed every single skill check when it had a nightmare, so no approval boost for me.
Even using the wiki I struggled to find the Kua-toa. I told them to raise an army for me.
Didn't bother rescuing the gnome slaves. I feel terrible, Sardax is indifferent. Word to the wise, don't pay him in advance.
Handed the lady an owlbear egg; didn't bother looking for a real one.
Sardax doesn't take it personally when people lie to him; he does the same to others, it's just business. But I think he's angry at what Vlaakith did to Laz'ael.
Act 2
Went to the Shadowlands via the Underdark just to see what difference it made and found some guy with a crow. I missed so much the first time through.
It's actually more relaxing to play a character who doesn't care about saving everyone they come across. By this point Faye was overwhelmed and exhausted by all the things she felt she needed to do. Sardax is merely poking his nose in.
He likes Moll a lot. I wouldn't say he's father material, but he's keeping a genial eye on her. Raphael best watch himself.
We got Minthara! She's got a lovely voice. *sighs and starts brainstorming for another run*
She took over Halsin's spot completely! And stole his child. This feels kinda dirty tbh, I might recruit her the evil way next time.
As charlatans, Sardax and Asterion walked out of Moonrise dripping with inspiration. I think they're actually friends. They both know they keep things from each other and egg each other on. Sardax is definitely considering Asterion's 'let's run the cult' plan as a distinct possibility.
Sardax finally turned on Balthazar at the Nightsong, and Karlach killed him eventually by picking up a pile of bones she'd just murdered and throwing them at him; which was both hilarious and poetic justice.
I found Zevlor this time! And I now understand why people like him so much. I just beelined for Mizora the first time I played and didn't even notice him...
Act 3
Met best NPC again. I love Popper. Got extra dialogue for being a dragonborn. Sent Gale up on stage and felt bad about it. Jahira approved.
As one manipulative arsehole to another, Sardax doesn't have a problem with the Emperor, but, dude, his girlfriend's a githyanki. There ain't no way he's messing with tadpoles.
Mamzell was hilariously off-base with Faye, but when she suggested a short lady with a whip to Sardax, I was just, hoo boy, she's got your number, buddy. I'm unsurprised Laz'ael doesn't share though; she's worked too hard for this.
YOU CAN STAY AT THE ELFSONG??!! Faye was too busy to bother with chatting to innkeepers, and it honestly never occurred to me...
Orin took Halsin this time and her decoy was heartbreaking. Faye would have been so upset (weird she stole the other tav's love interest each time though.) Even Sardax was discomforted.
Faye missed like half of the mage's tower? So much good caster loot! Sardax feels appropriately geared.
Sardax couldn't be bothered helping the Gondians, so no Iron Throne. Faye dashed in, dropped the bomb and ran, but Sardax stayed to kill the steel watch titan, which for a storm sorcerer was not a challenge, also Us kept that 6 int robot stunned for half the fight. That lil brain is so useful.
found a house with a cool dead guy in it who had also read the evil book but sardax hadn't bothered to buy the artist off the guild so they had nothing to talk about :(
ascended Asterion. No one (except Asterion) liked that, apparently. The game keeps giving you options to back out, but like, it's not like fucking a bear or anything.
Sardax is also happy to support Wyll in becoming Duke. Like it'll matter which mortal is in  charge once he has the crown, but he supports his friends in their little ambitions.
Sardax wanted to duel Orin so badly, but she didn't give him the option and it was just a normal fight, even though he killed Gortash for it. Disappointing!
Talking to more NPCs in the House of Hope this time. Gortash is still not my favourite, but it feels a little poetic that the grenades you pick up when you go to kill him are so useful against Raphael.
Sardax was more sympathetic to the Emperor than Faye was; she was taken in by the dream vision and felt angry and foolish, Sardax looked at the Emperor and thought he would have done exactly the same thing all along the line. Oh well.
Ascended Asterion's 'creatures of the night' summons for the final battles are kind of hilarious. Where did he get them?
THE OWLBEAR CUB ;_;
Asterion was all 'take over the brain and rule the world' so I *saved* and did so. And two minutes later he was a blank-faced thrall. Congrats, Fang Features, you played yourself. Also that weird pink throne is...eugh. Disconcerting.
Sardax's canon ending is at the last minute he realises he can't do that to Laz'el. And he gets the coolest ending instead
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Gale is god of self-help and motivational speakers? Kinda cringe tbh.
Halsin spent most of act 3 in Orin's basement (sorry buddy) so he didn't actually get the chance to make a play for Sardax, but like, talking to him at the party, he clearly liked him regardless. I love him. Sardax only has room in his heart for one person.
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kate1028 · 1 year
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❗️Spoilers for Tsats❗️
Okay so I’ve seen a few reviews on tsats now and I wanted to give my opinion about it now. First of all: I absolutely loved it, like I immediately started rereading it after I finished it. Nevertheless I have some things I want to point out and talk about:
Will not bringing a weapon with him: That’s a point that actually annoys me because Wtf? I really see him being the person, who brings as the last one a weapon with him if they go to a field trip or mortal world quest but into Tartarus? No, I really think that he would bring a weapon with him. Besides it made him seem helpless most of the time, which isn’t right.
Nyx describing the cocoa puffs as their children: Like ewww no that weirded me out so much, please no stop that. That really bothered me.
The writing is different to the other books: Yeah obviously that was going to happen, because Rick didn’t write that book alone and honestly it’s not really bothering me by now, it’s just different and we’ll see wether it will bother me at some point (I don’t think so)
Percabeth and dam: Okay yeah maybe it’s rather unusual for the characters in the book to use these words/ that joke but I still love that it was in there. It’s just something from the fandom in the book and I couldn’t care less that it’s maybe not that logical.
Will’s character: So about this there seems to be a lot of contradicting opinions but I admit I didn’t think he was out of character (yeah the part that he was so helpless most of the annoyed me too a bit but I think that’s mostly because he didn’t had any weapons, which I already mentioned earlier) Apart from that I really think that he would freak out in the underworld, and maybe it also seems really extreme because he’s down there with the literal opposite of him, when it comes to this. Like, Nico’s second home is the underworld and he likes the darkness and has no problem with death. Will on the other hand is a child of Apollo (btw Apollo already mentioned his concerns about Will being in the underworld in ToA 5) and can’t deal with darkness that easily like Nico does, and even prefers the light over the darkness, which is completely valid. Furthermore he is a healer, his fatal flaw is probably not being able to accept that sometimes you just can’t heal and help people, so obviously he’s weirded out by being in the underworld, surrounded by death. And he also can’t accept it that easily, because for him, as a healer, death is not really an option, therefore I can understand his struggle and the tension that grows between Nico and Will, because Nico on the other hand isn’t a healer and has been surrounded by death for ages. But I think Will does a good job in learning and understanding that you can’t difference death and darkness that easily from life and light, because it’s a circle. But he needs time to understand and adapt, being in the worst place to ever exist while that doesn’t help much either btw. And for my last point: No, Will was never the pure happy sunshine character, maybe we just saw that side of him, but think about it: We know now, that he’s been in Camp already, when Nico came in Camp. Means he’s been there (and maybe had already a closer connection to Lee) when Lee, one of his siblings and cabin counsellor, died, he also seemed to have a rather close connection to Micheal, who died a year later with half of the rest of the Apollo cabin, Will’s other siblings, and all the while he couldn’t do anything, couldn’t heal them. And then suddenly he was the cabin counsellor, a figure role and needed to be brave and couldn’t show too much weakness to encourage the other ones, while still grieving. I think that leaves some trauma too, not as bad as Nico’s but enough to get scared and suspicious of several things. Oh and can we please talk about Will having plague powers?!?! 🥰
Reyna: I wished that we would’ve seen more of Reyna, I’d’ve loved that but that would probably be rather complicated to include especially after she joined the hunters, so I can understand why they kept her out.
Friendship between Piper and Nico: I loved to see them in the end and talking to each other. I think it could really help them to get over Jason’s death. If they would get Leo in now too that would be the best, because I feel like those were the closest people to Jason (and Thalia and Reyna) and then they could get together and help each other.
Hazel: I also hoped she would appear more often but it’s still just one book and you can’t include every single PJ character because you just don’t have the time and space (same applies for Reyna)
My last point: The whole book felt a bit disconnected from the rest of the books of that universe. But there are probably a few reasons why: First, like already mentioned, it was co-written, means another author included their ideas and writing style, so obviously the book will get a different vibe as the previous ones. And obviously you notice that, even if you maybe can’t really name it, because you read fifteen! Fifteen books, who weren’t co-authored, in that world before tsats, which is a lot. Second of all it’s just one book. A stand-alone. Rick never wrote a stand-alone in that world, always five books. Now he wrote one, co-authored. This could be the reason why so much feels fast paced and maybe even pressed into the story, because he had ideas and wanted to put them in there, maybe even needed them, but couldn’t unravel them completely because it’s just one book, not five like he’s used to. A lot needed to happen and happened in that book, so it was fast paced and felt at some point even forced. After reading the book, I think it would’ve been better to make a Duology out of that. Then you would’ve been able to explore things slowly and take your time. Those two things are probably the reason why I felt that this book was a bit disconnected to the rest. Much was missing (like characters: Hazel, Reyna etc), there wasn’t any time to take things slow and explain, like what I’m used to.
As a conclusion there are some things in that book that I don’t like and could’ve been made better but in the end I still love it and it kind of healed something inside me that I didn’t even know was broken. It just felt so sweet and somewhat healing. ❗️That’s just my opinion on that book, and I can completely understand that others think differently as well as respect that, so please also respect mine.❗️
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shinonometrash · 2 years
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Un-magical Altercations - Lance Ira
Court of Darkness Fan Fiction - Special Story
Part 1
Rating: General
Significant characters: MC, Lance Ira, Guy Avari, Toa Qelsum
Guy lost his magic...and you’re the only thing that could help?! Yikes! This isn’t going to end well...
| >>Part 1<< | Part 2 | Part 3 | Other Works/Content |
The moment of impact is accompanied by a cracking noise and I wince.
Guy stands there for a minute, seeming to be in shock trying to process what just happened.
We all watch to see what he does next.
Guy: How dare you have the nerve to punch ME? I am the Prince of Avari!
You see, this all started a few days back...
~
Lou: -but not to worry. Your magical abilities should return to normal after about a week, two at most.
Guy: Hmph.
Fenn: Whoa, a whole week or two without any magic?? Will you survive, Guy?
Roy: Master Guy, please let me know what I can do to help. I would like to assist in any way possible.
Lynt: Mmn…it’ll go by quickly, just take lots of naps…
Lou: Master Akedia, if you would please refrain from napping in my office while we are having an active meeting...
Toa: Is this all you called us here to say? If so, I will be taking my leave. I have lessons to prepare.
Lou: Please do not be so hasty, Master Qelsum.
The S-ranks and I have been summoned to a meeting in the headmaster’s office.
A few days ago, Guy returned from Avari after being sent there to investigate some magic ruins. At the time, everything seemed normal.
However, a day after he returned, he found himself suddenly unable to use magic.
The headmaster believes that something Guy encountered in the ruins was likely the cause.
While he says that whatever caused looks to be harmless, it’s still a major inconvenience for somebody who regularly uses magic on a daily basis.
To make matters worse, Jasper had to stay back in Avari to help with documentation of their discoveries–which means that Guy is not only magic-less but he’s also valet-less at the same time.
Unsure why I was called to be part of this meeting, I’m listening quietly in the corner as everybody discusses the situation.
Roy: Headmaster, are you certain that there is nothing that can be done to accelerate the return of his powers?
Lou: Hmm…there is a possibility that, should MC choose to share her powers with Master Avari, it may return sooner. However, I believe it would require her to share a significant amount of power.
I freeze at the headmaster’s words as everyone’s attention is suddenly focused on me.
(Sharing my power?)
That would entail…
Making out with Guy.
(Yeah, no thanks.)
MC: Ahaha, um, I’d...I’d rather not...sorry...
Lou: That is perfectly alright, we would never force you to use your powers if you are uncomfortable.
Lou: Isn’t that right, Master Avari?
He smiles at Guy, who is wearing a very unpleased expression at the moment.
Guy: Tch.
Lou: MC, you may leave now. That is all the information I wished to tell you.
MC: Okay, bye guys…
I awkwardly walk towards the door as the headmaster turns to the remaining S-ranks.
Lou: Now then, I would like for you all to take over teaching all of Master Avari’s magic lessons…
~
That evening–
I’m sitting on the couch in Lance’s room as I tell him about my day while he listens intently.
It’s a normal routine of ours at this point, to try to meet daily and tell each other about our days.
He always gives me his full attention as he listens, even if it’s just about mundane or boring stuff.
The truth is, we’ve been dating for a month or so, but nobody else knows.
We’re not exactly trying to keep it secret, per se, but more like we’ve got no reason to go out of our way to tell anyone.
MC: -and then the headmaster basically asked me in front of everybody to make out with Guy!
Lance: And? What was your answer?
MC: Oh, come on! Is that really even a question?!
Lance snorts in amusement at my offended reaction.
MC: …well obviously I said yes!
Lance: …huh?
MC: Making out with Guy has always been an absolutely huge, deep, secret dream of mine. Like, total life goal. You didn’t know that??
Shock and confusion play across his face momentarily before he fully processes the sarcasm in my statement.
Lance: Oi, you-
I laugh and squirm away as he reaches out to tickle me.
I grab a pillow and hold it up between us like a shield, but it doesn’t do much after he’s got me on my back at the edge of the couch.
MC: Ahh, okay, okay!! I surrender!
Lance: Good.
He grabs the pillow and throws it to the side before leaning over and giving me a passionate, sweet kiss.
MC: Mn?!
Using my surprise to his advantage, he deepens the kiss and continues kissing me until my lungs are burning for air.
(This is nice but...can’t breathe!)
I’m about to hit him on the chest to release me when he finally pulls away with a smug smile.
Lance: There. That was your punishment.
MC: O-Oh…then…maybe I should do it again…
Lance: You…
He shakes his head at my comment before his expression turns serious.
Lance: You need to be extra careful around Avari until he gets his magic back.
MC: Huh?
Lance: If he thinks you’re the answer to getting his magic back sooner, who knows what he might do. I don’t trust that man not to try and do something to you.
Lance: I’m going to walk you to and between classes for now.
(That doesn’t sound too bad, but…)
MC: Aren’t you working on rehabilitating some injured animals right now?
Lance: I am…
MC: Are they going to be alright if you aren’t able to work with them for a week?
Lance goes silent and breaks eye contact.
The conflict in his expression makes it clear what the answer is to that question.
MC: It makes me happy that you’re worried about me, but you don’t need to become my constant bodyguard because Guy lost his powers temporarily. Especially if it’s going to be detrimental to the animals you’ve been putting so much care into.
MC: Sure, he’s definitely a huge dick, but I don’t think he’d do anything to hurt me in order to get his magic back a few days earlier.
Lance doesn’t look convinced.
(Hm…)
I don’t want to make it seem like I’m just brushing off his concern, but I also don’t want him to have to sacrifice something important to him.
MC: Oh! How about this? I’ll make sure to always walk with Rio or Sherry during the day, and I’ll also have Robin to stay nearby in case anything happens. And then you can come get me after classes are over.
MC: I’ll be extra careful, I promise.
He seems hesitant to agree to my suggestion, but ends up nodding reluctantly.
Happy that we reached some sort of compromise, I wrap my arms around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.
To be continued...
>>Part 2
| >>Part 1<< | Part 2 | Part 3 | Other Works/Content |
I’ll come back and add screenshots to this eventually...
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deithe · 3 years
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the bones (2,847 words) (1/1)
(an introspective on jason grace. kind of?)
read here on ao3 or read below the cut!
jason falls in love with the human equivalent of a forest fire
(his mother fell in love with the sky itself)
jason grace grew up being told that his destiny was very, very simple.
his first and most important mission, handed down to him from lady juno and mother lupa, was that jason was destined to save rome. that his destiny lay with new rome and camp jupiter, a new romulus to lead the pack to greatness. he would spill so much blood in new rome’s name that the little tiber would overflow and the gods would crown him with a golden laurel made from monster ichor.
he would be everything everyone else needed.
a spear for the senate, a shield for new rome, a standard to replace the one that had been lost, a sword for the gods to wield, and another pack member for lupa. he would be the perfect soldier, a demigod fashioned by two god-mothers for the simple act of being a weapon.
his second duty was that jason was to be nothing like his father.
his father, evil, unpredictable, selfish and cruel, was to be jason’s antithesis. lady juno stressed this, as did the senate, as did his praetors (though praetor saville jason eventually killed in battle, so jason doesn’t take her words to heart anymore). jason was never, ever to be like his father. all sons of jupiter before him were either driven insane or were killed, and jason’s great destiny could not afford for him to do either of those things.
‘hubris’ lady juno once told him, while going through his latin lessons in the damp cold of the den (or wolf house, as she called it), ‘is the thing that kills sons of jupiter’.
so jason was to never be prideful, but at the same time, never to believe he was inferior. he was to be subservient but never meek, he was to be a capable fighter but never violent. he was to be kind but not a pushover. open but not flirtatious.
he was to be perfect. he could not afford anything else.
then he, in the span of a few months, murdered his prateor after finding out she was a traitor, watched his friend be assaulted by a family legacy of prophetic visions which turned him into a paranoid asshole, watched his other friend assume a leadership role, one which he tried to refuse, and fought an army, killed a titan and toppled kronos’ black throne.
he also became praetor and then was promptly kidnapped by lady juno, leaving said other friend with all the responsibility.
then any and all plans the gods had for him were ruined by a daughter of aphrodite with eyes like the earth and a son of hephaestus with a smile like war.
how could jason be the perfect soldier when his loyalties no longer lay with new rome? he loved his home, he loved his siblings-in-arms, he loved the legion-
he loved leo and piper more than the breath in his lungs, than the sky and earth and more than his destiny. he loved them enough to try and find whatever scraps of himself he had. to create something they could love too.
(heracles killed himself after accidentally killing his family. love killed him in the end)
and so, jason failed in his first mission. he could no longer put new rome above them, above camp half-blood.
jason doesn’t think becoming his father is an option for him, however. his father is prideful and arrogant and his father's likeness, he will eventually learn, belongs only to his prodigal sister.
and so, jason grace finds his last name, a family he never knew, friends he could die for and an empty cabin that seemed less lonely with leo or piper in it.
then they went on a quest, leo built a ship and they all set sail to stop gaia from rising.
then jason lost leo, then jason lost everything, then jason lost himself and then lost piper-
and, in the middle of winter, leo valdez came crashing down on a metal dragon with eyes like a nuclear explosion and teeth made for tearing meat from bone, or tearing jason’s heart from his chest.
and then jason found himself again in the space between the junction between leo valdez's fourth and fifth ribs.
leo valdez is a lot of things. he’s a son of hephaestus and a complete asshole. he’s the first child of hephaestus to be born with the ability to create and control fire in over 400 years. he’s a 5’4ft guy who wears platformed boots to make himself seem taller. he’s so powerful that he obliterated gaia. he’s a genius. he thinks spraying axe bodyspray on himself is the same as a shower. he overworks himself even when he doesn’t have to. he can fight gods and go toe-to-toe with any big three kid and hold his own. he likes to survive on a diet of mango monster energy and takis. he's obnoxious. he's thoughtful. he makes mean-spirited jokes at other people's expense. he's the best person jason's ever met
he’s-
currently late for their date.
It’s not that jason minds, per se, but leo has a nasty habit of getting so completely lost in his work that he can plan a date for the next day, and jason won’t see him for at least three days. it’s one of the downsides of being the trophy boyfriend of a genius.
jason sighs and rocks back on his heels, eyes darting up to the grey, overcast sky. he can almost hear leo in his head, asking if he could pretty please make it less goddamn cold? and his pout when jason refuses to change the weather for him.
it's not that jason won't. it's just that he can't. it makes aeolus snappy.
sometimes he still does it. manipulates the air currents just enough to warm the air around them and leo smiles, a real one, small and soft. like it wasn't meant to be seen. a secret thing, just for jason.
jason doesn't see leo smile like that often.
it's mid-february in new york and jason is kicking around central park in the grey mid-day light. it's quiet, this part of the park, with barely anyone passing jason as he leans against a tree, wet dew dripping into his unstyled hair. it's cold, but not cold enough for a freeze or snow. just the right amount of cold to turn your hands numb and purple from cold
which. if you've never seen leo 'was raised in texas and has fire powers' valdez in new york snow, jason fully believes you've never lived.
he spends another 30 minutes splitting his time from staring into space and wandering around the meeting spot they've arranged. it's peaceful here. jason can even hear some birds twittering and chirping in the trees above. the cold even stops bothering him. jason likes being alone sometimes.
it reminds him of the lupercal and lupa. long days and nights in the loneliness of the redwood forest. just him and the wolves and the stars.
though now jason has sturdy boots and a wool jacket, so not exactly the same.
he's in the middle of trying to coax a timid sparrow onto the hand, crouched on the balls of his feet when he feels a presence beside him. he goes stiff when he realises and then, like all the tension has been zapped out of him, goes relaxed again.
"that," leo whispers, also crouched beside jason, "is one fat fucking bird"
jason represses a grin, "don't say that. he's probably barely eaten all winter," and leo snorts, moving closer to jason so their shoulders brush. the bird regards leo with some caution but his black, beady eyes seem to acknowledge that jason would keep him safe.
"he looks better fed than me, jace. do you care more about this bird than your own poor boyfriend?" leo says, faux-sadness in his voice, "how cruel, jason grace. how cruel".
jason turns in time to see leo shake his head, black curls wild around his face as they shudder like leaves in the wind. his eyes are dark brown, watching the bird watch leo. a staring contest.
leo says his name like no one else does. like it's a name. like it's good. like it's something familiar and warm. he does not say 'jason' and imagine a great hero or a wolf-boy with no past. he does not say 'grace' like a joke, like grasp for power, like it carries too much weight for his tongue to bare.
he says it like it belongs to jason. he says it like it's important. not too fast, but not too slow.
leo turns his head to find jason staring at him.
"jason" he calls, lips quirking up at the edge, pulling out the 'o' like toffee, "i know i'm pretty irresistible but please, keep your longing stares for the bedroom"
jason shoves up against leo's shoulder, blush bursting across his already red-cold face.
he pushes just slightly too hard and leo goes spilling across the wet grass, yelping in surprise.
"jason!" he yells, looking up at jason half shocked and half in amusement. "what the fuck, dude!"
jason can't help himself.
leo is wearing jason's hoodie, the black one mrs.blofis picked out for jason which leo claimed as his own even before they started dating. his new denim, fur-lined jacket (from the hide of the nemean lion they killed last year) is just slightly too big and he's wearing black jeans. he looks like the college freshman he is. he looks mortal.
he looks human. he has leaves in his hair and his cheeks are flushed from the cold, teeth showing through the toothy smile he's giving and-
it's uncanny, sometimes, how well they can pass for normal. you almost can't tell leo's died and come back to life. you almost can't tell he's more powerful than any living mortal.
almost.
jason falls on top of leo in the wet grass, which causes leo to yelp, again, and knee jason in the stomach.
jason groans "dude, what the hades was that for?" and he rolls of leo, onto the wet grass beside him, arms protectively covering his bruised stomach.
"you fell directly on top of me, you big lug," and leo sits up, picking a leaf out of his curls absentmindedly, "if you haven't noticed, you're like a bean-pole with muscle mass. that shit hurts!"
jason pouts up at leo, who manages to look both unimpressed and fond. he rolls his eyes and offers his hand to jason, who accepts and leo hauls him into a sitting position in front of him
"hi, leo" jason says finally, "you're late"
"i'm not late, loser, you're just a nerd and get places earlier than normal people. its super weird," leo tells him, matter-of-factly, scooting closer to him as they sit on the ground. "you should really get it checked. might be terminal nerdiness. the glasses are just the first sign"
jason raises an eyebrow, curviving over said glasses. "i didn't know it could be terminal. oh well, guess i'll just wither away and die from being punctual. what an injust life i lead. how the sorrows never end"
leo pouts, eyes sparking with enough warmth to keep out the cold for decades to come, "don't be so down about it, I hear being a nerd has perks,"
jason moves closer, so his knees are half-pulled up to his chest and he's balancing his weight on his hand. leo fits perfectly in the bracket of his arms.
"oh? do tell?" he asks, and leo is close enough that jason can see the faint freckles on his cheeks. they're fading from how far away leo has been from the sun, but jason loves them anyways.
"yup," leo says, popping the p and smiling like the cat who got the cream. "do you know that all nerds get super hot and funny and sexy boyfriends? as compensation for being such nerds, of course"
jason pulls back his head a bit, just as leo laces his arms around his shoulders, "really?" and his voice is soft, but the smile won't disappear from his lips, "wow, didn't know that. guess I'm lucky that you're such a huge nerd or-"
leo kisses him like coming home. and in a way it is.
jason has known many homes. he's known the small apartment with his mother that smelt like spilt wine and smoke and mold. he's known the lupercal and the redwood forests around it. he's known the barracks at camp jupiter and the feeling of purpose in his chest. he's known cabin 1 and cabin 9 and bunker 9 and on the back of festus and on the argo. he's known the feeling of reyna laughing as he tells her wild stories and of the fifth cohort raising him on their shields. he's known lying in leo's private room with piper and leo, listening to low music and feeling safe with just them.
but the one person who jason has felt like home since they met was leo. his high ground through the tsunami. his parachute during a plane crash. the one point of home. like the north-star.
jason smiles into the kiss, his free hand tangling itself in the rough fabric of leo's dark blue denim jacket. it's soft and chaste, more a press of warm lips than anything. it's comforting. it's familiar. it's everything he wants.
leo pulls back a bit, just far enough to speak but still close enough that his breath brushes up against jason's cold face. "hi," he says, brushing his nose against his, "missed you, bro".
jason snorts, "i missed you too, leo, how's MIT treating you?"
"like i'm it's bitch is how it's treating me," leo tells him, slumping slightly into jason, forehead against jason's. "can we not talk about college? i think if we talk about college I might start crying and then our date will be ruined"
jason pulls back a bit to look at leo. he does look more tired than usual, eye-bags darker and lips bitten from nervousness. he frowns, using his free hand to cup his face. "are you okay? we can just go back to your dorm if you're too tired-"
"ugh, no way" leo groans, "fuck that. i just wanna spend time with you, okay? i wanna be mushy and all that gay shit. i want bad food and to kiss you again and again and do more than kissing-"
jason rolls his eyes.
"-and then go back to mrs.blofis apartment and watch really bad movies you like for some reason and then i'll go to sleep beside you and it'll be gay and shit"
"gay and shit?"
"gay and shit, you better believe it grace. but first-"
and leo untangles himself from jason and stands up, brushing the dirt from his knees leaving jason frowning on the floor.
he offers out his hand, brown skin calloused from work, long, thin fingers curled slightly as the palm faced upwards.
"c'mon, super, treat your louis lane to some greasy new york food before he decides batman has better pay"
jason is so, so lucky he got leo valdez. that the fates decides to make sure that his destiny crosses leo's. that he convinced leo valdez to let down his walls, to stay, that jason wouldn't leave him like the others, or hurt him or betray him.
that jason was in it for as long as leo wanted him to be. that jason only wanted leo to say his name, wanted to give it to leo because leo's the only one who's mouth jason trusts with it. that jason wanted to give leo his past. wanted to show him and tell him where he got each scar.
he trusts leo with this. he trusts leo's hands to not burn it all to ash. because he knows that if leo wanted to, he could. he could burn jason alive with a thought. turn him to ash and glass with a flick of his hand.
jason has fallen in love with a nuclear bomb, with a supernova of a boy and jason doesn't care if it kills him, because he has spent so long pretending to be what everyone else needed, that now he was going to be who he wanted to be. even if it got him killed. even if it burned him alive.
jason grace has fallen in love with the human version of a forest fire. he should be afraid of it, of leo. he is not. he never will be.
beryl grace fell in love with the sky itself. wanted all the stars in heaven and didn't care what happened to her. as long as she knew she had the stars attention. as long as she knew the sky loved her back.
as long as he knew the fire loved him back.
he takes his hand.
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sodamnbored · 3 years
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Jason and Juno
I just want to talk about them. I have so many feelings and I can’t find anyone else that cares about them. But, like, why not?
Because Rick ignored Jason in HoO and I still haven’t got my Roman prequels, that’s why.
I freaking love Jason anyway and I always have. And I admit, reading original PJO, I wasn’t the biggest fan of Hera, but we weren’t really supposed to be I don’t think. But Juno? Nah man, Juno is cool.
Everybody seems to write her off because she’s Hera and we all know Hera sucks, and obviously Percy and Annabeth don’t like Hera so makes sense that we kinda subconsciously take their lead. But Juno is cool - and I will absolutely fight that corner forever. It’s like, Ares was kinda a dick in many regards, but Mars was a good dad to Frank, Mars was cool too.
Juno was one of the only gods interested in actively helping demigods, particularly her favoured ones, sure, but she still tried to help. And she obviously cared about them too. Not just Jason, it was very evident she liked Leo a lot too (and I love that too). And we know - at least from ToA - that she had a soft spot for Frank too (and honestly who can blame her).
But yeah, so I actually dig Juno in HoO. She helped out, she was awesome, she was actively nice at least to Jason.
So that’s the first thing to get over. Hate Hera if you want to - but let me convince you that Juno is better. Re-read the books and look for her being nice and cool. Because it’s there.
On top of that though, the relationship between Juno and Jason just makes me so happy and warm. I love it so much, even though I haven’t seen anyone else that seems to care.
Jupiter was at least as much of a dick as Zeus was - that’s something everyone agrees on I think. And I think a lot of us if not everyone can agree that he was a worse dad to Jason than he was to Thalia. And maybe that’s because he washed his hands of responsibility for him after he gifted Jason to Juno. (Dick move btw.) but either way, he basically ignored Jason his entire life and throughout HoO. He was hands down one of the most distant godly parents of the seven and of a lot of main heroes we’ve followed in the series’. So Jason couldn’t really depend on him for help or guidance an awful lot and basically felt like he didn’t have a father. But at least he had Juno.
Juno was a good patron to him. She helped him where she could. She actively and genuinely cared about him. She tried to make herself available for chats when he needed them as much as she could. Gave him presents (his gladius) and praise when he did well, pep talks for what was ahead. As pseudo foster mothers go, she really wasn’t bad. Closest thing Jason had to a parent, and yeah, he could’ve had worse. He did have worse with his alcoholic slightly off the rails actual mother who gave him away, and had worse in a dad who never spoke to him or saw him or lifted a finger to help him until the very last second and who also gave him away. I kinda gotta figure after that kind of treatment from both your actual parents, getting what he got from his patron was probably very appreciated.
And Juno/Hera is the goddess of marriage and family among other things. Throughout the series it’s pretty much her biggest hang up. And obviously she wasn’t always the best mother (poor Hephaestus) to her actual kids, but she kinda held Olympus together. Stopped them all tearing each other apart. Family was important to her and something she valued. Obviously she hated when her husband cheated on her and had someone else’s kids. Honestly? That’s pretty reasonable to be unhappy about. But she watched the rest of her family, literally forever, having kids willy nilly when they wanted to. Obviously Artemis didn’t, but she didn’t want kids and she had the hunters so that’s fine. For someone that loves family so much, it’s very possible she could’ve been a little envious of everyone else having huge families. She still had her Olympian family, but maybe she would’ve liked to have some demigods of her own, if it didn’t involve cheating which she just won’t do. She favoured original Jason and was his patron too, so she was happy enough to adopt them, but it still wasn’t something she did often. So she didn’t get a lot of mortal kids and might’ve felt like she was missing out. But at least she had Jason.
So, being given another little adopted demigod, hell yeah she probably loved mothering him. He was totally her kid. He didn’t have any parent or family to be there for him, she didn’t have any demigod kids of her own and knew she never will. That’s hella cute that they can adopt each other.
Everyone loves found families lately - well this is basically that. Kinda forced at first but doesn’t mean they wouldn’t grow to love each other. They helped each other, could depend on each other. Juno is literally the patron of Rome as well. So even if Jason hadn’t known from the off that he’d been given to Juno, he’d have still had the sense that she had his back along with the rest of Rome, so he might’ve asked for a little help or guidance before HoO, maybe while he was Praetor too. And Juno being New Rome’s patron would’ve probably kept an eye over Camp Jupiter and especially when Jason rose to Praetor she could’ve been paying more attention to him from then. Watched out for him during the Titan War.
I want to know more about them. Especially if Jason was fully aware that she was his patron the whole time before HoO. I want them to have had some sort of relationship. I want them to like each other at least a little. Nico and Hades got closer eventually. Percy and Poseidon (and honestly a bunch of the gods) got on well. Mars adored Frank. Aphrodite seems pretty cuddly with her kids in general. I don’t think it’d be a terrible stretch for Juno and Jason to have each other’s backs.
I want to know if Jason ever made offerings for her along with Jupiter. Burnt food at CHB for her as well as his dad.
I want to know if Juno ever helped him out on earlier quests at all, whether he knew it or not. If she ever gave him and maybe Reyna too, sort of a Praetor deal, counsel.
I want to see Juno fully lean into having Jason as her favourite, as her chosen hero. I want to see her lend some power to him when he needs it. I want to see Jason with the Blessing of Juno. How many demigods would’ve ever gotten that? That’s unheard of. I want it for him. I want to see him marching on Mount Othrys to take down Krios and topple the throne, not with the blessing of Jupiter (although I would also love to see him with that, that would be so cool!) but with the blessing of Juno, patron of Rome. I wanna see him monologuing Krios into intimidation like he did to the giants: I'm the son of Jupiter, I'm a child of Rome, consul to demigods, praetor of the First Legion. I slew the Trojan sea monster, I have the blessing of Juno: Patron of Rome. And she also happens to be my stepmom, dick.
I talked about it in another post before, him getting her blessing. Supposedly with her Roman counterpart she’s supposed to be militaristic, strategic, etc. A blessing from his dad would be like an explosion of power, don’t get me wrong. It’d be like Thor in Infinity War. Magnificent. He could totally burst into the palace and fry Krios and destroy the throne. But I think it’d also be pretty damn awesome if he got zapped with her blessing and became like the ultimate military leader (kind of like Frank with Mars’ blessing I suppose, but more strategic instead of hitting the protein shakes), leading the troops in the invasion and being a total Praetor before he even became Praetor.
Side note: It’s probably not possible but can you imagine if he got blessings from both of them?? I doubt you can have two at a time, but that would be spectacular if he did. Especially from Jupiter and Juno. He would be incredibly powerful, no wonder the Legion made a big deal out of him in the early part of the series. Always was a little disappointed we never got to see cool Roman Jason. I love Jason, I do, but he wasn’t exactly what we heard about in The Lost Hero and Son of Neptune. It never felt like we saw his full potential. So I’m just gonna sit in my corner and dream it up instead lol.
Anyway, this was purely for me because I have a lot of feelings about these two and I couldn’t find anything about them at all or not anything positive. But if anyone else likes them or has ideas or there is stuff you can point me to, please do, I want to get involved in it and find people that are into this so bad!
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How I’d rate the Gods/Goddesses(riordanverse)
This is my rating based off the way Rick Riordan portrayed them in the Riordanverse. The traditional myths have been taken into account but do not make up my entire opinion. 
Hestia:
10/10 would give my life for this goddess. In all aspects of the word, this goddess is a goddess. I want a novella of her watching over the hearth and watching out for her family and the heroes. I imagine her being a very comforting presence and warm like a hug, and maybe this is me projecting my mummy issues but I just want her to hug me. 
Dionysus:
A solid 7.35/10 for Mr D. Naturally he was a bit annoying, but we were never under the pretence that he he was meant to be anything more than what he provided and I respect that. Him caring about his kids at camp, and staying relatively loyal to his wife is always a plus. And I like his relatively humble beginnings being a hero and becoming a god and then not causing that much trouble in the series. Unlike some other pieces of shit. 
Hermes:
4/10. Mans had no right blaming Luke’s thirst for mass genocide on 16 year old Annabeth. Not cool man. Not cool. He gets the points he got because he did genuinely care about Maia, and Luke, but he lost the rest of them by having a blatant favourite (who literally caused so much destruction). However I do still like his line about family in sea of monsters and never giving up on them. Nice meaning. But he was still a shitty father and only intervened out of self interest most of the time. 
Aphrodite:
2/10. I hate how low I have to rank her. But my god did Rick do her dirty in his depiction. Just the misogyny, the lack of depth, and the untouched potential she has as a character, as a goddess, THE OLDEST GOD/GODDESS and Rick really made her throw rose petals around the battle fields on one of (what was meant to be) the biggest fights of the riordanverse. Absolute robbery. If I’m not mistaken as well, she was a huge contributor to the issues and obstacles percabeth went through and we do not Stan. HOWEVER, I love her as a goddess normally, and what she could represent if she’s written properly. 
Hephaestus:
8/10. I have no qualms with this man. I too prefer the company of inanimate objects to people and get stressed about social interaction. And I too have mummy issues. So me and Hephaestus are on the same page. Let this man tinker away in his little bunker. He never went out of his way to make things harder for demigods, and was helpful when they came to him for help which I can also respect. (Point deduction because it was on his land that Bianca died…if I’m not mistaken). 
Ares:
-12/10. This man was introduced as a bully, and gives off the vibes of every phobic, known to humanity. I do not vibe. I do not agree. I do not stan. ALSO his motorbike seat is apparently made from "Caucasian human skin”!!!!!!???? We as children never questioned this? We just went sure aight move on?! Please this man has the biggest small dick energy if I ever saw it and I despite him so much. Mans was also never helpful. Ever. I don’t think. I think Mars was better than him though so I’ll give him that. 
Artemis:
9.99/10 all hail queen of the lesbians. Mad respect to this woman. In what she stands for, who she protects and in her actions. She’s what I embody when I stand up for myself in fights and when I speak to have my voice heard. I like Rick’s depiction of her and I love seeing her and her hunters pop up in his books. Would love a couple books on the hunters and their adventures. Also I love archery. And I’m biased to the moon because I love the night so she gets extra points for all of that too. 
Apollo:
Prior to Trials of Apollo 7/10, after TOA 9.90/10. Yes it’s a big jump but my god did Lester grow on me. Prior to TOA he was pretty average. He was funny, always provided a good laugh to the plot and was always helping the demigods which I loved. But I know he’s an asshole full of himself so I can’t give him any higher than that until he had some character development, which we got in TOA (specifically after Burning Maze). And I really like who he is now and the type of character Rick shaped him out to be. In the myths he’s a big creep, and I still stand by that idea, hence why he doesn’t get a full 10. 
Athena:
3.5/10…ughhh I hate to say this. But part of it is the same reasoning I gave about Aphrodite. I just have so many issues with the way she’s portrayed and it’s not accurate to what I believe in my heart she should represent. And as a child of Athena, I feel like Rick then did her entire legacy dirty. She has her moments, but since I can’t even fully recall one right now, it just proves my point. As a goddess as a whole though, what she represents is everything I aspire to be in life. She’s my entire aesthetic of hard work, creativity, and strength and grit, without taking away of being a powerful female. Zeus’ lead strategist like shit, Rick could have done so much. But he did not. And I am thus sad about it. 
Demeter:
6/10. I have no issues with Demeter. Kinda boring. I think that’s what most of the fandom thinks as well. She just didn’t get enough screen time or development. I have no attachment to her. I think the powers that she has, and has passed on to her kids is cool though so there’s that. But in the series as well she doesn’t do much. She also (initially) doesn’t fight in the battle of Manhattan so maybe I’m slightly bitter there. But yeah, i’m indifferent. 
Hades:
8.99/10 Okay so hear me out I know this man gets so much bad rep in the myths and that’s part of why he doesn’t get a full 9. But I really really love the way he’s depicted in the riordanverse, especially with his entire arc with his kids/specially with Nico. Like literally one of my favourite quotes In the entire series is “my children are so rarely happy, I would like to see you be the exception.” Out of the gods listed here (and excluding Dionysus), he acts like a genuine parent to his kids and tries. And like there’s issues, sure, but he works on them. And since so much of the first series is about how the gods are neglectful, seeing him change and seeing him fight for Nico is my everything. 
Poseidon:
7.1/10. Honestly this feels too high considering mans was nearly If not just as bad as Zeus in keeping it in his dam pants. His points come from treating Sally like the queen she is, and trying with Percy (albeit too little too late but I can see the minimal effort). That being said, he’s really shitty in the myths so I can’t really give him anything higher than this. He’s barely a dad, and sees Percy more as an ally than an actual son or human being that needs attention. I like him more in Fanon and the way that I write him lmao because I humanise him. But I won’t lie he’s dilf material, and I still like rick’s depiction of him. 
Hera:
3/10 I’m surprising myself with this rating because tbh I might even push her to 4.5 just because she’s so consistent in her own goals and agenda, and that perseverance is very admirable even if it was at the cost of some of my favourite characters. She was very much two faced though and fucked around stuff that she should have stayed out of. Her hatred for literal children though is a bit problematic. I have no attachment to her but I admire how much she just wants a family. However she just really needs to assess how she approaches that since it’s a bit messed up.  
Zeus:
-5/10 I really don’t Zeus, his character, him in the myths, everything about him. He gives off the vibes of a man who abuses the power that he was given. And I don’t like that. It makes me uncomfortable and I don’t like him at all. His treatment of his children, of the demigods, and the way he governs Olympus. Not a fan. I could rule Olympus better and I’m a mentally unstable, serotonin deficient 20 year old with a hyper fixation on greek mythology and Minecraft. However despite not liking his character, I think Rick does a great job at depicting him accurately to how he was in the myths. 
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taags-old-account · 3 years
Text
Punk Boy Beats The Shit Out Of A God
Did I finish the last paragraphs of the Oneshot? IN UNDER 10 MINUTES? It's a miracle! So, this is an MCU and TOA crossover oneshot that I did. The writing is horrible but the concept is fun. Read my horrible writing... if you dare!
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“Kneel before me.” said the gold and green dressed person, standing over the scrambling crowd. The people were trying to get away, Douxie couldn’t blame them, he saw the lunatic put that device in that scientist’s eye.
Upon the rooftops of a nearby building stood a 920-year-old master wizard; Hisirdoux (preferably Douxie) Casperan. Former apprentice of Merlin Ambrosius, part of the rock band Ash Dispersal Pattern, Guardian of Arcadia, Repairer Of Excalibur (although Nimue did that), Protector of Nari of The Eternal Forest, and Protector of this Realm.
On Douxie’s shoulders stood his familiar: Archibald (preferably Archie). “Seems to be the very annoying type,” said Archie, shifting slightly then licking his paw. The armored person had used their magic to create several copies of themselves, boxing in the civilians. “I said KNEEL.” they roared. Simple-ish magic to Douxie, illusions.
“Agreed. Very annoying.” Douxie replied, scratching his nose before scrolling through the runes of his gauntlet. “Should I do a dramatic entrance?” he asked his familiar, doing jazz hands and beginning to prepare himself. Douxie didn’t have to see Archie’s eyes to know that he was rolling them. “If you must.”
Illusion Person had started their Villain Monologue, “Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.”
Douxie’s eye twitched, the Illusion Person was about to get their ass kicked. But to the Rooftop Duo’s surprise, an old man had stood up and faced Illusion Person. “Not to men like you.”
Summoning his Spellcaster Guitar (‘Darling’), Douxie could already tell where this was going. “There are no men like me,” replied Illusion Person with a smirk.
“There are always men like you.” growled the old man. Douxie gave the guy instant credibility for the guts he had to face Illusion Person. Archie, still on Douxie’s shoulder, had switched over to his dragon form with a gold flash.
The Illusion Person decided to hold up their Glowstick Of Destiny at the man. Knowing what was coming Douxie prepared his shield spell to defend.
Up above in a Quinjet, Captain America was preparing himself to jump out. Piloting was Black Widow. “Look to your elder, people. Let him be an example.” Illusion Person’s Glowstick Of Destiny glowed bright blue before shooting at the old man.
Only for the man to be protected by a blue shield. And it wasn’t a World War II soldier’s, it was a magic shield. Jumping down came Hisirdoux Casperan, Spellcaster Guitar in hand and Archie snarling on his shoulders.
“You know, I have faced a lot of Buttsnacks like you, I’ve beaten the shit out of a lot of them too. You are no exception,” said Douxie twirling his guitar.
“A Wizard-” Illusion Person started, clearly knowing (somewhat) who he was facing. Though he was cut off,
“Master Wizard. Hisirdoux Casperan not at your service,” smirked Douxie raising a finger, turning his guitar back into his blue gemmed staff.
Suddenly a man with a different blue shield drops down. Captain America, “And you know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing.”
“A Soldier, a man out of time.” said the Illusion Person. HA! Definitely not the only one here.
“I'm not the one who's out of time.” he replied, Captain America then turned to Douxie “You should get out of here kid.”
Douxie just laughed in response “You’d be surprised to hear that I am older than you.”
“By several centuries.” continued Archie. Captain America was shocked to his core that okay, the dragon talks. From the Captain’s Perspective, Loki had just raised an eyebrow. From Douxie’s perspective, he saw Illusion Person put together some pieces about Douxie, not that he cared, but Douxie still saw it.
From above a jet had come close and was aiming its large rifles at Illusion Person. “Loki, drop the weapon and stand down.” said a woman’s voice, probably the person who was piloting.
Douxie raised an eyebrow, from the outside he looked slightly puzzled. Inside though his thoughts were running wild. What’s horse-fucker doing here on earth? I thought that Loki would stay on Asgard. Wasn’t there that thing about the Destroyer coming down to- OH! Goddammit. Stupid Fucking Gods. Go Home!
As fast as Zoe’s lightning, Loki had shot a beam of blue at the jet. The pilot maneuvers it just in time, meanwhile Douxie had yelled out “Tenebris Ellilium!” and shoots his hand forward, the whip wraps around Loki’s staff as Douxie pulls hard. The staff flew out of his hand and into the courtyard where people were scrambling to get away from the fight.
Douxie had now charged forward and was now clashing with Loki, Captain America not far behind him.
Douxie had summoned his staff while running and was prepared to swing at Loki, full-on in the head. But when Douxie swung, Loki had already rolled away and had grabbed his doomstick of destiny. Aiming it at Douxie before letting out a blast.
But Douxie was prepared, his staff turned back into his spellcaster guitar and Douxie strummed a note. Creating a blast of magic powerful enough to knock Loki back.
“How?-” Loki struggled to get back up. “-Who are you. How can you wield such powerful raw magic?”
But that was when Captain America threw his shield at Loki, but Loki knocked it away easily.
Douxie smirked, played a riff, then said; “My name is Douxie Casperan, Master Wizard, Successor to Merlin Ambrosius, Guardian of Arcadia, Protector of Nari of the Eternal Forest, and Protector of this Realm!”
Douxie walked forward, “and you. Are. Very. Stupid. For coming here. When I had. My day off.” Douxie knocked the staff away again easily from Loki again and basically shoved him to the ground with the end of his guitar.
After a moment of astonished silence from Loki, another sound played in the background. Shoot to Thrill by AC/DC Douxie immediately recognized.
Only a moment after the song began to play a man encased in red and gold armor landed down in front of Douxie and Loki. Douxie moved out of the way, guessing that Iron Man was probably going to aim his weapons at Loki.
Douxie’s assumption was correct. Because Iron Man did exactly that, “Make your move Reindeer Games”
Loki, logically stook his hands up in the air.
Captain America walked up and looked over at Iron Man “Mr. Stark.”
“Captain.” The Metal face moved over to Douxie who was petting Archie on his shoulders, now back in cat form. “Magic Rocker Child.”
Douxie grinned, “Iron Man.”
Douxie was probably going to have a lot on his hands. Including breaking the Mischief God’s mind control.
Please, Douxie isn’t a fool. He knows mind control when he sees it.
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Ok, I did really enjoy Douxie's rant about the gods. I feel like Douxie would have this eternal monologue full of swears and sarcastic responses, he just doesn't use them out loud because that's mean.
I know Loki is genderfluid, but I made him male for this one... so... I guess I'm sorry if I accidentally offended you? Also, Douxie would be well versed in Mythology so, yes, he knows about the horse thing.
Uh, either way, I hope whoever reads this enjoys it? It's just a concept, but if somebody considers this a prompt of sorts then go ahead and write a cool MCU and TOA crossover story! I am already writing my own. So uh... yeah.
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rikalovesrice · 3 years
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My Thoughts on Trollhunters : Rise of the Titans
WARNING : ALL THE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW
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Mmmmm. Okay. So I just finished the movie. I’m fatigued as always so this’ll be a bit of a mess lol. Gotta spew the thoughts while they’re still fresh, y’all know how it is.
Right out the gate, I definitely want to talk about the things I loved.
The animation was, of course, phenomenal and gorgeous!
Voice acting was incredible as always
MUSIC SLAPPED
Douxie. I just loved seeing Douxie again and honestly kept my eyes trained on him for most the of movie lol
OK DOUXIE AND NARI SWITCHING?? BODIES??? Definitely didn’t see that coming and I legit started screaming lol
Nari in Douxie’s body is the most precious, chaotic, and wholesome thing like holy cow that was so adorable LOOKIT DOUXIE CROUCHING AND CRAWLING AROUND ON ALL FOURS WITH THOSE NOODLE LIMBS OF HIS I CAN’T --
We called Nari’s mind control and Douxie trying to reason with her!
In the very few scenes they were together, Douxie’s love and affection for Nari really came through. You could really feel how much he cared about her. ALSO THAT TENDER HUG AND NARI’S LITTLE HAPPY SQUEAK MY HEART NO--
Loved Barbara. Always love Barbara.
Walter and Barbara getting engaged
Nomura back in action
Claire being the powerful sorceress she’s become
Loved seeing Aja, Krel, and Varvatos all together again.
NARI VS SKRAEL WAS ALL SORTS OF EPIC AND CRUSHING EMOTIONS.
The way Douxie yelled Nari’s name and ran to her after she died and the remnants of her magic falling all around him, like she was saying goodbye, just *UGLY CRYING*
It was so cool to see Charlie out of his den and flying about like the mighty dragon he is
Loved the Guardians of Arcadia pulling Excaliber out together.
All the gang all going after Bellroc together
YES JIM MY BOOOOOOY
BLINKY DIDN’T DIE
Aarrgh I love you so much
Stuart, what a bro!
We saw a hint of mercy in Bellroc towards the end.
Toby’s death... That was a huge curveball. Jim might as well have cut my heart out with Excaliber as he sobbed over his best friend.
Uh.....um....and.....Er...what else........ .___.
..........Alright so.......It’s about to get a bit brutal from here on out as I talk about the things I didn’t like at all. And the really sad thing is, at least to me, the cons far outweigh the pros in this movie. Because I’m actually having difficulty picking out things I enjoyed, they were so few and far between...which really sucks.
So here we go.
Gosh, where to begin... I guess I’ll go ahead and say this : I’m really disappointed. 
Like as I’m here typing this, I’m just thinking, “...That was it? That was the movie?? The big finale???”
So much of this movie just felt....unnecessary. I hate to say almost like filler. The entire intro re-caping the series really wasn’t needed. And then Toby went and restated it all again when he was being interrogated. The pacing, oh my gosh...Guys, the pacing in this movie was not good. The action started and it never seemed to stop. There wasn’t a single moment of rest, of levity, of our characters just being themselves, getting to know each other, being friends outside of the battle. No Reckless Club Segment. No fun, just... I mean Claire and Aja didn’t speak to each other at all. Douxie and Toby hardly interacted. Steve was turned into a gross male pregnancy joke. Jim and Krel barely spoke. Douxie and Aja had nothing to say to each other. Even Aja and Krel didn’t have any moments together. The list goes on. The whole movie was just go, go, go. And it’s so frustrating because there was time for it but it was poorly executed.
Like was the whole break-in to the Chinese Trollmarket really necessary?? Guys, I really found myself not caring. I didn’t care to see this random side quest involving an insignificant new troll character and a Trollmarket that had little to no bearing on the plot. Did I love seeing Charlie, Archie, Blinky, and Claire? Of course! But these scenes were so pointless. So needless. They could’ve written other ways for all our heroes to go after the chronosphere (Maybe we could’ve had Zoe for crying out loud). But instead this vital artifact was the hands of a character we don’t know and don’t care about in a place that turned out to have basically nothing to do with anything.
Deaths. The deaths in this movie. Because of the pacing in this movie, there wasn’t nearly enough time for the emotional impacts to sink in. Nomura? Gone and the only ones mourning her are Aaarrgh and Douxie, who barely knew her. Walter’s death was handled better since we got to see Jim and Barbara actually having a moment to mourn him. The weight of Nari’s death was singlehandedly carried by Douxie, but even that was over before it started. The immense gravity of Toby’s death, which really got to me, was also short-lived to make way for an ending that...I don’t know. 
ALSO DOUXIE JUST??? BEING OKAY WITH HIS FAMILIAR, THE ONE WHO RAISED HIM AND WENT THROUGH SO MUCH WITH HIM FOR CENTURIES, LEAVING HIM FOREVER TO BE TRAPPED IN THAT DUMB TROLLMARKET WITH CHARLIE LIKE???
“I hope he’s happy.”
WHAT. THE. EVERLASTING. FRICK. 
Douxie’s reaction objectively doesn’t make a shred of sense. Geez, it’s almost like Douxie was expecting Archie to up and leave him someday to be with Charlegmane. Just...what???
What also frustrates me so much is how this movie undid so much characterization and development that happened in Wizards. Or more like all that development didn’t even matter.
What was the point of Steve’s arc in Wizards if he was just going to be reduced to...this?
I was so excited to see Douxie really being a Master Wizard. To see him lead the Guardians of Arcadia alongside Jim. To see him in action as Successor to Merlin and Protector of this Realm.
But no.
Douxie, who had such an incredible arc in Wizards and a character who’s come to mean so much to me in my life, was nerfed and sidelined.
And then time restarts and I can’t help but wonder why any of this mattered at all. What the heck was the freaking point of the suffering, the loss, the pain, the growth, enduring and overcoming so much, the friendships and family spanning across three shows... All gone. Starting all over. Undoing everything, except what Jim went through. As much as I love Jim, I didn’t think he’d be the only character I’d be getting closure for at the grand finale of this entire franchise. But that’s what happened and I really hate it.
Just...all in all, this movie wasn’t satisfying. Not to me. It had its��good moments. But not nearly enough. The comedy was misplaced and fell flat. The climax was sorely anticlimactic and didn’t hold a candle to Eternal Knight. The writing, the direction, characterization...For some reason it was all lost and confused and none of it felt right and so much didn’t make sense.
I’m not at all upset with the writers, though, because they still pulled through and did what they could. When the movie did something right, it was beautiful. The things I loved about it I truly adored. No, I’m not upset in the least bit with any of the creative team.
I’m upset with Netflix. I’m upset that Wizards was robbed of the seasons it should’ve had. I’m upset with big cooperations stifling creators. I’m upset that this’ll be it. This is the ending we got and nothing can be done about it.
Aaron did say there’s every possibility for the franchise to continue in some capacity, and I’m hoping for that someday. Because so much, too much, has been left unanswered. So much left to be explored that couldn’t. But until then....I guess this is it. This is what we get.
Now, I want to remind everyone that this is my own personal experience with the movie. These are all my opinions. If you enjoyed every second the movie, that’s wonderful! And who knows how my thoughts will change upon another viewing. But in the meantime, Rise of the Titans really missed the mark for me. I wanted found family badassery and fluff. But nope. Just fighting and heaviness and no payoff. It’s such a letdown...a real shame. 
But yeah...Thanks to any and everyone who read to the end of this haha
I still love Tales of Arcadia. It’s a series that has blessed and inspired me so much as an artist, writer, and as a person in general. I do want to keep making ToA content for a while. Cause this movie isn’t the end. Not my ending, at least.
I’ll continue to hope for more Tales of Arcadia in the future (a Douxie spin-off series please Lord pleaaase). We shall see. Until then, fics and fanart fixing this mess galore haha
Until next time everyone! God bless!
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Text
If You Want Attention
Tumblr media
Fandom: Court of Darkness 
Rating: NSFW
Pairing:  Toa x MC 
Warnings: spanking, light bondage, overstimulation, toys, fingering
Prompt: Do you think you deserved to be punished?” “You take my fingers so well don’t you?”
 WC: 1591
Asked for by: Anon 
I knew I messed up as soon as the music room door closed behind us. Toa doesn't even turn to face me as he walks to his desk. 
"Toa '' I softly call his name, trying to gauge his mood. 
"What were you talking about?" He asks bluntly, turning to take my face in his fingers. Displeasure heavy in his icy eyes. 
"Toa it was about class" I try to explain but his frown deepens. 
"Did he have to touch you for your conversation about 'class'?" His eyes are darkening and his voice is growing more husky, I was in trouble. I flinch away a little backing up from him. He follows me, backing me into the wall, jealousy and lust are swirling in his eyes, his lips inches from mine.
"Do you think you deserved to be punished?” I can't focus on anything other than how close his lips are to mine. Toa's icy eyes narrow when I don't answer, his fingers come up to grip my chin. I part my lips, not able to find the words I needed. 
"Toa" I breathily moan, wanting to feel his lips in mine. I see a sinister smirk cross his face as he steps back, sitting on the sofa and yanks me down over his knees. 
"Since you don't want to talk, I'll make the decision for you" Toa’s voice sounds bored as I feel him bring my skirt up my back, exposing  my panties and ass to the coolness of the room. I let out a whimper, pressing my hands to the floor and waiting for the smack I  know is about to come. 
Smack. Smack. I moan at the stinging in my ass, wiggling back a little so I rest more comfortably. 
"Count them" Toa's voice is commanding as he rubs my ass, smoothing out the previous stings. Smack.
"One." Smack. "Two." Smack. "Three." Toa's hand starts rubbing against my skin, easing the stings. I can tell he is using his magic to keep his hand a little on the cool side to help. I whimper as I feel his hand drift toward my underwear, pulling them down and off in one fluent motion. 
"Toa, please" I moan, rubbing my thighs together. I feel his run up and down my slit, slowly teasing me. 
"You're  enjoying this aren’t you? Look at how soaking wet you are" he accuses as he plunges his fingers into me. I whimper at the accusations and clench around his fingers. A feel his hand leave my hip and rub against my ass cheek. I quickly try to recall the last number he was on. Smack. 
"Four" I moan, feeling stars form behind my eyes and the coil in my stomach threatening to break. 
"Toa, I'm so close, please don't stop" I beg, whimpering every time his fingers grazed my g-spot. I hear him snort, and add his thumb to my clit, adding more sensations shuddering through me. 
"Toa, fucking hell" I moan as the coil snaps and I am sent wave after wave of pleasure, feeling my legs shake. I whimper through my orgasm as Toa keeps thrusting his fingers, curling them up into my G-spot and his thumb keeps attacking my clit, the overstimulation  is almost too much. 
"Toa" I protest, trying to wiggle away from him, but his arms wrap tight around me, anchoring me on his lap. 
"Stop moving. Since you want attention so badly, I'm going to give it to you." he declares, sending shivers of anticipation through my body. I feel his hand rest back on my ass. Smack.
"Five." Smack. "Six." Smack. "Seven." My toes curl at the pleasure erupting in my body. Toa's fingers are unrelenting in my core and at some point he added a third finger. I whimper and moan as he once again starts rubbing my clit, my second orgasm fast approaching. I clench down on his fingers, riding his hand and letting my cum drip down his fingers. 
"Toa, I can't, it's too much" I moan, the over stimulation is too much on my clit, my legs are still shaking as I try to catch my breath but am unable to do so.  
"You can take more, I'm not done yet" Even though his voice hasn't lost its cold edge, the way his hand stays cold as it rubs my stinging ass shows his affection. I know if it was truly too much, Toa would stop,  but the feeling of his fingers in me is just so addictive. Toa keeps his arms around my waist steadying me as I clench around his fingers, I whimper as he brings his mouth close to my ear. 
"You take my fingers so well don’t you?” Toa praises, his voice forms goosebumps along my neck and spine.  I whimper softly at his words, feeling heat rush through my body. Smack. I struggle briefly to remember the number.
"Eight" I silently hope it's the right one. Smack. "Nine." I continue counting the relentless spankings across my ass. Smack. " Ten" I moan, as his hand comes down again, every slap sends pleasure rushing to my core. The heat flowing through my body is hardly quenched by his cool reassuring hands afterwards. I rest my head against his legs, I am so close to cumming again, I just need a little more. 
"Toa please, please I'm so close" I whimper, wiggling against his hand. 
"Oh I thought it was too much?" Toa taunts me, running his thumb over my clit quickly causing me to jerk. 
"TOA!" I cry again, tears start spilling down my cheeks, I need that last little push.
 "Please, please, please" I start begging and I finally feel his thumb back on my clit. "Thank you, thank you" I moan as I feel my orgasm quickly approaching again. I fall over the edge, thank you's and cries of his name falling from my lips as I ride my orgasm out on his hand. 
"Don't thank me yet, I'm not quite done with you" Toa stands me up and carries me over to his desk, using magic to remove the rest of my clothes. He sits me on the desk, stepping between my legs and suddenly I feel binds on my legs and hands, forcing my legs open and my arms away from my body. 
"Toa?" I ask, watching him open his drawer and pull out a small toy. I can't see what it is, he conceals it in his palm. 
"A little gift I got. I am going to make you cum until my name is the only one you think about." His promise settles in my stomach as he leans down, capturing my nipple with his mouth and sucking harshly. 
I hear a buzzing sound and jump when something starts vibrating against my clit, I moan as I feel him press the object into my core, keeping it there with his fingers. The vibrations are a new sensation that quickly brings me back up to the edge. I feel Toa uses magic again as he cools down his hands and mouth, freezing my nipples as he sucks and pinches them.
 I cry out, my body is so sensitive from my past three orgasms that it takes no time for me to orgasm again. I throw my head back, resting against the wall, screams and cries falling from my mouth at the overwhelming pleasure. 
"You're  mine, do you understand. No one else will ever see you like this. No one else will ever be able to do this to you. You fall apart  so beautifully." Toa growls against my skin. I cry his name as another orgasm bursts with me.
I have lost count of how many orgasms  I've had. I know I am talking about something, but I don't know what I'm saying, all I can see are stars. Toa is saying something, but I can't focus on the words, I just feel the vibrations. I scream in pleasure as I feel the coil tighten before snapping. 
I don't know about anything right now, but at some point the vibrations stopped, and at some point my hands and legs were free. I have no idea how long has passed, but a warm cloth is  being rubbed between my legs, cleaning up my core. I moan at the sensation, closing my legs. My legs are gently pried open, a hand massaging my thighs and I feel my head get pressed against a solid chest. I hold on tight to the body and feel myself slip into darkness, exhaustion tugging at my brain. 
I open my eyes to see I am wrapped in Toa's cloak, while we lay on the bed. His hand is tracing soothing circles on my hip and he is reading a book. He lays the book down when he notices me staring, leaning down  to place a kiss on my lips. He reduces a glass of water from the nightstand and I drink it, suddenly realizing how sore my throat is from screaming. I am happy the music room is soundproof, I don't want to know how loud I was. Toa pulls a bowl of soup over to me, giving me plenty of kisses and I feel the transfer of power. 
"I love you" Toa presses his lips to mine and I quickly allow him to deepen the kiss, affection pouring through his actions. 
"I love you to Toa" I whisper back, allowing him to feed me and snuggle up with him the rest of the night. 
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arcadialedger · 3 years
Text
Please note that I am most likely leaving this platform. I am done being abused. But first? We need to have a discussion. A discussion about hate and bullying in fandom.
All online-- I encourage you to read my story below. Reblog and spread awareness. The Dragon Prince fandom especially -- I implore you read my words, every single one of them. The short of it is that I am done. 
This all began with losing and being blocked by a friend because I shared something they disagreed with. I don’t care what you feel about my initial reaction to this (which I’ll explain below) -- I’ve apologized for not handling the situation correctly. But I will not be shamed for speaking my mind and standing up for myself.
Because no human being deserves to go through what I have endured since last summer.
Following the “callout” post made about me by one of, if not the largest blogs in this fandom, I received hundreds of threats, harassment messages, and death threats. Messages and posts telling me to kill myself were also prominent, on a multiple times a week basis for awhile.
Messages from people who were well aware I have struggled with being suicidal. Due to one of their favorite Dragon Prince blogs speaking out against me, they thought it was okay to suicide bait me.
And it worked. I already struggle with hating myself, am already insecure, and being flooded with these comments which, while I made mistakes, did nothing to deserve, drove me to try and take my own life after years of progress in my mental health.  
Mind you, this is like a 200 follower to 4k follower power dynamic. Which yes, plays a role-- because when you have a large following and influence, you have power. Yet the person behind this had the gall to claim Tumblr clout isn’t real.
People blocking and condemning others instantly at your word? Is power. If people read your words and are influenced, or have their minds changed, or buy or don’t buy something, etc.-- you are an influencer. You have power. And when you’re one of the largest blogs in a fandom, you have a LOT of power.
So take responsibility. 
I was hurt because I lost a friend who I had chatted with for months, did a podcast with, and was generally not only one of my favorite blogs but the center of my experience in the Dragon Prince. I may not have been perfect in my words, but when I was asked why I was quiet/ inactive, I explained how I was hurting, anonymously. I was understandably in pain and upset. I had been cut off for just having a different opinion on a matter, for thinking differently. Even though it was within their rights to block and do so, it felt wrong and it weighed on me.
Is that such a crime?
The callout post and previously described abuse followed, lasting for months until later in the year (this began in June, or around then). It also included screenshots of tweets, when this user does not have Tumblr, and they have stated to have screenshots stored up on their computer of my various posts and interactions. This is creepy behavior, and freaked me out. I felt like I was being stalked, “evidence” being filed away for the very purpose of being used against me. 
I eventually talked things out with the blog per recommendation of my therapist, and thought all would be fine. For a little while, it was. I largely stayed off of Tumblr to heal. Once in awhile I would have a rough, tearful night because something reminded me of what I lost, but I would make it through. Overall, I was making progress.
Then? My Twitter got hacked by one of the people sending me hate. For what had turned out to be much. And after they tweeted some purposefully incriminating and bigoted things to make me look bad, I came home from a weekend in the mountains to a shitstorm.
Twitter has a love hate relationship for me and I barely opened the app unless actively chatting with a friend. So when I saw 700+ notifications, I was surprised. It had never happened before.
I began to scroll through, and when I saw what had happened, I ran to the bathroom and threw up.
I had lost over half of my followers and a solid 60% of previous Twitter mutuals had blocked me. But worst of all, I had hundreds of hate tweets directed at me replying to the hackers tweets. Messages had been sent in DMs and accounts blocked, followed, and unfollowed as well.
If you have never felt that loss of agency-- that sickening feeling of words you never said next to your profile-- be glad. Because it is traumatic. I value my words. I value what I have to say. And having that taken from me was worse than anything I had been through here on Tumblr, outside of the suicide baiting (the most direct attack to me and my emotions/ insecurities throughout this entire ordeal). Further, this hacker had clearly stalked my tweets based on some of their comments. 
Hundreds of tweets bashing me, calling me aphobic slurs (knowing I am asexual mind you, as it was in my bio), making fun of my appearance and targeting all of the insecurities which lead to my first suicide attempt in high school, and taking/ editing images of my face and mocking them. This all culminated in a doxing threat-- a doxing threat which made me feel unsafe on a campus I had already been sexually assaulted on. I was once again, after starting the healing process, thrusted back into the darkest time of my life and spiraled into anxiety and depression. I cried a lot overwhelmed by it all, had difficulty sleeping, and felt sick. I started fall semester and couldn’t concentrate on school. I was a mess.
I had once again been condemned, this time for something I had no part in. I tried to example what happened but nobody listened. I had been hung without trial. People were understandably confused, and my entire reputation on the platform, and my page, became a mess of lies, misunderstandings, and more.
If you don’t know the feeling of already hating yourself and being insecure, and having these beliefs reinforced and spread by hundreds publicly across the internet? Of already feeling lonely and unwanted and having the one space you thought you had taken from you? Consider yourself lucky. 
I had a lot of voice actors and creators following me-- accounts I interacted and greatly cherished my mutual with. A handful of them unfollowed, understandably. This online hate mob was sending messages to people demanding they unfollow me, including some of these creators. They had no idea what to make of this mess or what was real and true and just didn’t want to deal with it. Most of the others just stopped interacting with me. @aaronwaltke (tagging so those who don’t follow already click and do so, because he is absolutely fantastic-- he’s a writer for ToA)  who had followed me on the platform, graciously wished me peace with the entire situation after I checked to make sure he had not been subjected to messages or hate, either from my hacker or other accounts. His was the greatest compassion I got on Twitter, before I ultimately ended up just having to delete.
I lost podcast deals because of this with Adrian Petriw, Aaron Ehasz, and Justin Richmond. I do not blame them one bit and would have done the same in the confusion not wanting to get dragged into anything. 
Only to have one of the friends I lost who helped start this interview these very people on their own podcasts. A slap in the face. A zine I had bought to support them came to my door, with the front page proclaiming to “spread a narrative of love.”
I was never granted that chance. That compassion. I had the vultures sent after me with no mercy. And anyone who has been through online abuse and systemic harassment knows just how much it feels like they’re slowly but surely picking at your flesh ( a metaphor I used in one of my old, since deleted posts discussing the situation, and still find accurate), wearing you down until you have no strength left.
Make no mistake, my story is not a one off situation. Many share the same tale of abuse and being driven off of platforms that once gave them great joy. These attacks are coordinated, systemic, and common hobby for these people-- who largely claim to be loving and accepting of all. They are a cyberbullying phenomenon which has risen with the presence of fandom on the internet. And I want to make clear, with current discussions of “cancel culture”, I mean nothing political in that statement. Some might call my experience cancel culture, but I don’t.
It’s just bullying. It’s just hate. These people get off on ruining people’s lives.
And my life was greatly set back and ruined. I had a stain on my past in fandom I could never be rid of. I had to shut down my podcast, took time off of all social media, and most of what I had built, most of my growth, was taken from me while those who incited and/ or spread hate thrived and continued to grow and find success. That was the greatest sting of all. 
I asked the one previous friend who hadn’t blocked me, but had just stopped interacting with me (which I understood and respected, and also greatly respected her perspective, help, and support though this situation in which she largely unfortunately ended up in the middle) for help after explaining everything, and got nothing. They didn’t seem to care, and just blocked me on all platforms. Once in awhile, I would find I was cut off from yet another old friend, or a blog that I had never interacted with before but clicked into, interested. It hurt being cut off, unable to fully interact with the fandom, but I could move on.
That pain would never go away, but I made clear I did not blame them for the actions of those who abused, harassed, and threatened me. I also made it clear they did not owe me anything, including unblocking. 
I just wanted to move on peacefully, but those with the power to enable that did not wish to help. I slowly, when I felt ready, began to be more active on Tumblr again, and once again the hate started up. 
Sometimes when I was hurting, I expressed my pain and loss to my followers just to reach out, because I was sad. I had no idea how to rebuild from all that had happened. This got me more hate an accusations of emotional manipulation and gaslighting. I had no idea what to do, and got trapped in a cycle of needing to talk about it, and getting hate and backlash, but not knowing where else I could turn. 
My doxer came back into my asks, ultimately making me switch schools, and refueled the drama. Speaking up about this got me more backlash-- mostly accounts reblogging (one with tags saying “fuck you”, despite not knowing the full story, and commenting and then blocking me so I could do nothing to respond or get it off of my page. I deleted all posts of the matter, as requested by these people (who validly pointed out they were in the main fandom tags, which I hadn’t thought of and understood), and hoped to move on.
But it hasn’t stopped. I have been beaten down and emotionally bruised for months. I have had my life and safety threatened, my education and by extension life path altered, and lost work (podcast) opportunities due to this-- alongside the irreversible emotional damage from trauma and abuse. My mental health issues and insecurities-- which I have been very open about to destigmatize the subjects and encourage conversation-- were actively targeted to inflict the most pain possible. 
And I can’t even talk about it, without enduring more hate and accusations of “playing the victim”.
Death threats, suicide baiting, doxing, months of bullying and harassment to the most vile degree, which a lot of these people don’t know about because they don’t even bother to read my words. Yet I’m playing the victim. 
And the accusations of bigotry and being hateful hurt, because it couldn’t be further from what is in my heart. I believing in love and acceptance of all. I don’t know how many are religious here, but I found God after my first suicide attempt and that is what his word has taught me. 
I’ve been through too much in life to tolerate this, for lack of a more eloquent term, bullshit. I know what abuse and victim blaming looks like when I see it. And in my 20 years of life, I have gone through too much: constant ridicule and bullying, suicide attempts, sexual assault, major spinal surgery, to just be stomped over and not stand up for my right to basis human decency. 
I refuse to put up with this, so unless I get an apology and some semblance of justice for everything I have been through, I am leaving. I will not participate in a space run by hate and toxicity. I will never claim to be perfect, and I have apologized for my mistakes and wrongdoings. Now, hold those who did this accountable. If you’re reading this you know very well who it was, and I am not naming them for those who don’t. Because at the end of the day I still send nothing but love and wish no ill will towards them.
But I’ll be damned if I don’t expect accountability of one of the greatest influencers in the fandom for their complacency in abuse, threats, suicide baiting, and and absolute ruining of my life and online experience. They enabled this and were well aware they had the power to stop it-- to ask their followers to stop-- and did nothing. They didn’t care-- about a human’s life and well being. 
@dragonprinceofficial, are you aware that this is what many of the fans of your show, which preaches love and an end to the cycle of vengeance, do to others? That this is happening in your space? If you stand at all by the values you preach, condemn it. @staffTumblr/ @supportTumblr-- shame on you for allowing this abuse to happen and ignoring my reports. Shame on you for permitting these people to operate in your platform and for being okay with hosting hate. People have been driven to suicide on your website-- I am one of the lucky ones. 
If you care at all about humanity and stand against this behavior, reblog and spread awareness. Share my story so I may not happen to anyone else. Tag @dragonprinceofficial until they notice and speak out. 
This is my story, and so many others. Make sure it doesn’t happen ever again. No human being deserves to be treated how I was. Everyone deserves compassion, decency, and respect. And everyone deserves a place in fandom. Do better. If you want to reach out to me DMs are open, as well as my email, which is attached to my account. Until this change happens and I am given the support/ help needed to safely function on this platform, this blog will not be active outside of that. 
Thank you all of the many accounts who have supported me, and I am working on getting back to all who have reached out! Your love means the world. You know who you are, and I don’t want to tag in case people come after you for showing me kindness. I am sorry if this is goodbye, to all that have enjoyed my blog. I enjoyed it for a long time  too. I loved sharing my passion for stories, culture, having a space where I could analyze and discuss my favorite things.  I loved getting to share what I had to offer with the world, having fun and posting jokes with my unique sense of humor. I loved interacting with intelligent people/ fellow fans and discussing my favorite stories, offering each other new insights and growing together. I loved the many, many kind and wonderful people who reached out to me in a variety of ways and provided support and friendship.
In the end, it just isn’t worth all of this pain and trauma, and I know when to put my foot down. I don’t want pity, I don’t want apologizes, and I’m not a martyr. I just want my story to make a difference-- to spur positive change in fandom culture/ spaces.  I will be tagging all fandoms in which I have seen this kind of abuse present as well, to reach as many as possible. 
Be safe, and be kind.
- The Arcadia Ledger/ Ryn/ Katie, signing off.
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percabeth4life · 3 years
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What do you think about solanglo? I have heard some people calling it toxic because Will some point in TOA victims blames Nico or something like that.
Oh dear anon you must be new.
I am not a fan of Solangelo. At all.
For one yes Will does blame Nico for being ostracized, says it’s him who pushed everyone away and they all wanted to be friends with him. This isn’t really why I don’t like it, I have other reasons for that. But this wasn’t okay and the fact that Rick had this happen with Nico having some massive out of nowhere crush on Will is??? That’s not okay Rick?? Nico would not react well to that? And you just had him all gushy and lovey dovey over Will?
‘I don’t want a place in their camp,’ Nico snarled. ‘Or in yours. When this war is over, I’m leaving both camps for good.’
Will Solace made a sound like he’d been punched. ‘Why would you do that?’
Nico scowled. ‘It’s none of your business, but I don’t belong. That’s obvious. No one wants me. I’m a child of –’
‘Oh, please.’ Will sounded unusually angry. ‘Nobody at Camp Half-Blood ever pushed you away. You have friends – or at least people who would like to be your friend. You pushed yourself away. If you’d get your head out of that brooding cloud of yours for once –’ (Blood of Olympus page 279)
Yeah, this is not at all okay and blames Nico for how he was treated, and in fact denies he was treated that way at all. And after that Will got all mad at him for not coming to visit him in the infirmary as if this wasn’t their literal only interaction previously.
There are 2 main reasons I don’t like Solangelo.
1. Age gap
I do not accept changing ages mid book. Nico was 12 in TLO, and 13 in HOO. He turned 14 before the last book of TOA. Rick has confirmed that Will at least was 15. He also changed Nico’s age. This age change happened in HOO, he made Nico 14 instead of 13. I never accept his mid book changes (Walt went from 14 to 16 and Hazel went from 14 to 13) so for me Nico is 13 when he starts this relationship with a 15 year old.
I know for some people this age gap is okay, but my little sister was in one such relationship at the same age and we almost filed a restraining order against the older boy. That age gap at that age is not okay for me. At all. Not until both parties are 15/16.
So for one, the age gap that exists. Rick should not be changing ages to make ships happen (2/3 times it makes the ship worse actually??) so I don’t acknowledge those changes. Other’s have different opinions on that, that’s their right. On the age gap area I concede easily that we have different opinions.
But the second point is not one that can be reasoned with difference of opinion
2. Doctor/patient relationship
Will is canonically Nico’s doctor. It’s played as a joke at times but it is canonical and recognized by everyone at the camp. Nico has doctor’s notes from Will to get him special privileges and Will gives him doctor’s orders fairly often.
First off ethically this is not okay. As in it’s literally against the doctor code of ethics.
Romantic or sexual interactions between physicians and patients that occur concurrently with the patient physician relationship are unethical. Such interactions detract from the goals of the patient-physician relationship and may exploit the vulnerability of the patient, compromise the physician’s ability to make objective judgments about the patient’s health care, and ultimately be detrimental to the patient’s well-being.
A physician must terminate the patient-physician relationship before initiating a dating, romantic, or sexual relationship with a patient.
Likewise, sexual or romantic relationships between a physician and a former patient may be unduly influenced by the previous physician-patient relationship. Sexual or romantic relationships with former patients are unethical if the physician uses or exploits trust, knowledge, emotions, or influence derived from the previous professional relationship, or if a romantic relationship would otherwise foreseeably harm the individual. (Source)
Doctor/patient relationships are forbidden by the AMA (their policy is above). Even getting into a relationship with a previous patient is frowned upon.
I am not in any way comfortable with how Rick wrote their relationship, it has far too much power in Will’s hands and makes Nico rely on Will way too much. Their relationship is not ethically sound at all and I am not okay with it. This relationship is heavily imbalanced and the fact that I see people say that it’s because Will is Nico’s doctor that the relationship is good is horrifying to me. Knowing anything about the doctors code of ethics would tell you it’s the exact opposite.
I don’t care what people ship personally, ship and let ship is my policy, but I have never and will never ship solangelo in any fashion.
So that’s what I think of Solangelo anon <3
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whiteheartlight · 3 years
Text
Wrote a bit of an intro for my au where the Toa Mata are made into Toa Hagah for different Makuta. don't know if I'll go anywhere with it but figured I'd type it up. Krika-centric. enjoy
.
In the time before time...
That's how Matoran start their stories, right?
Gathered friends, listen again. In the time before time...
What? What was there? A Great Spirit? A Toa?
All their stories sound the same, in his opinion. Toa-heroes and Matoran-heroes and the Great Spirit watching, benevolent, over all of it.
Those are not how his stories go. In the time before time... he wonders when the Great Spirit stopped watching. It must have been recently, he supposes, but then again he thinks this bitterness has been festering in Teridax's heart for a long time.
The stories, after all, are not about Makuta. The stories are about Toa. Or at least the ones that Matoran tell.
Then again, who really gives a fuck?
(All of them do. That's the big secret. Krika, for all he speaks of unknowable destinies, is pretty sure that this could all have been avoided if Teridax was a little bit less glory-hungry. But ah, well. What does he know?)
“He won't really try anything,” he tells Antroz, on a day where they are out on the sea, and the ship rocks beneath their steady feet, and they know each other as brothers. “He wouldn't really challenge Miserix or whisper about plots against the Great Spirit. He's all talk.”
Antroz just looks at him. His eyes are deeply crimson. Fire is life and destruction. He shrugs.
“I think he will, Krika,” Antroz answers. “I think he will, in fact, try something.”
That is all it takes. Hearing it from Antroz's mouth, Krika knows it to be true.
“Well,” he says. “I guess we start finding our place in the new order.”
Antroz snorts.
“What?” says Krika.
“By the Spirits,” says Antroz, with a voice that says he is well aware of his own irony. “I tell you a coup is coming and your first instinct is to start re-assessing your political standing?”
“Well, are you going to do anything about it?” Krika returns, standing straighter, turning his whole body towards him.
Antroz says nothing. He is devouring a pear. It turns grey beneath his claws. He drops it overboard and watches it fall into the water and disappear from view.
“Yes, a new order is coming,” says Krika, turning back to the horizon. “But both Teridax and Miserix are foes with whom I have no desire to be involved. I'll keep my mouth shut, and if you're wise, you'll do the same. All I want is to be left on my island to build my Rahi in piece. I do not wish to be either a pawn to Teridax or protective fodder for Miserix's already over-developed sense of power. Let them fight things out on their own. We will still be standing, my brother, as we always have been.”
Antroz squints out at the sun. “And if it doesn't end up like that?”
“How else could it end up?”
Antroz shrugs again.
“I just think,” he says, “that someday – well. Someday we might be called upon to fight battles we would not otherwise have fought. And on that day, Krika, I wonder if you won't wish you had chosen a side you believed in.”
Krika gazes at him. Antroz look out at the sky. The birds are circling overhead.
“You're so full of shit,” says Krika abruptly, and it makes Antroz laugh.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He rolls his eyes and turns around to pick up another pear, digging his claws into the ripe body of the fruit and letting the juice run out. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
“Hey, what's this about Teridax finding those Toa Mata that are meant to guard the Spirit?” adds Antroz, almost thoughtlessly.
“Don't know,” answers Krika, shrugging his shoulders. “Apparently they're waiting for the day he needs them. But you know Teridax. Probably has his own plans.”
“Yeah,” laughs Antroz. “Yeah, probably does. Oh, look, Tarakava! They're new in this part of the world – that's how you know they're a hardy species, migrating to new places...”
Those short sentences are all they speak of the Toa Mata at that time and, what's more, all they bother to think of them. They don't much care. They were not, then, enemies of the Great Spirit. And Kopaka, Tahu, Gali, Lewa, Onua, and Pohatu – the names meant nothing to them.
But they would.
That's how the stories go, right? That's what they're about. Toa.
Krika will watch it happen. He does not intend, at the time, to be a part of the story.
The rope of his destiny, however, is already closing around his white throat.
--------------
Krika hears the news of Miserix's death two weeks later. He knows then that he was wrong. Teridax was not all bark and no bite. Teridax bit.
Krika says nothing. Miserix is not the only Makuta who dies that week. He suspects that the ones who join him are the ones who asked too loudly: “Who did this?”
He knows. They all know.
But these are days of survival for the Makuta, and Krika is a survivor, so he keeps his goddamn mouth shut, and rises quietly through the ranks of Teridax's Brotherhood.
And when the calls for better protection come, Teridax offers one solution to his five closest allies, and suddenly those names - Tahu, Gali, Onua, Lewa, Pohatu, and Kopaka - mean something.
----------------
“I don't want one,” says Krika, and, at the time, he expects that to be the end of the matter.
Antroz looks up at him. His eyes are irritated. Krika crosses his arms over his chest and looks right back.
“Krika,” Antroz begins.
“It's stupid,” says Krika. “What the hell do I need a single Toa for? Maybe it made sense when Miserix and Teridax took teams. At least they might be able to actually take out a couple threats to them - not that Miserix's little team did him any good in the end. But one lone Toa? It's not going to be able to protect me from anything I can't already protect myself from.”
“Krika, I'm quite busy here,” says Antroz, turning back to his latest creation. “Can't you just do what you're told for once? You should be pleased. My pair is already entertaining. They spar all day and the red one yells every time he speaks.”
“I don't want one,” repeats Krika, feeling the small, feathery protrusions on the back of his spine raise with irritation. “I don't need one. It's asinine. I'm going home to my work and I wish to be left alone.”
Antroz looks up at him again. In these days, he is a sight to behold. Clean red colors with sweeping black lines, his mask painted with soft, noble markings, his body strong and tall and sure of itself.
Back in these days, they have nothing to fear. The present is thousands of years away. Today, they are young, and the Swamp has not changed them. And hatred and cruelty and despair – well. These are things that have only begun to change them.
Antroz turns back to his Rahi, stroking its stomach as he takes a sample from its side. “Krika, let's not pretend to be fools. Not you and I. We both know that this is not about protection. They are status symbols. You are rising in the ranks of the Makuta, my brother. Now that you have inherited your new country, you are almost as powerful and respected as I. And so, while Miserix and Teridax take six each for themselves, I take two, and you, like some of our other siblings – ”
“Fools the lot of them,” snarls Krika.
“Take one,” says Antroz coolly. “Take one like you were told. Because with each Toa we make into a Hagah, the more the Matoran come to see us as greater than the Toa. We are becoming, Krika, the most powerful species in creation. And these Toa are special. That is why Teridax had them dug from the ocean. Take one. Just the one. Command a legend and watch as the Matoran transfer their love for the Toa to their love for you.”
“I don't care,” says Krika, “about the love of the goddamn Matoran.”
“Then you are not playing the game right today, brother,” answers Antroz quietly, tinkering with his Rahi, his eyes already distracted by his passion for his creation. “That's not like you. Don't be foolish. Go. I've had enough of you... and I am technically in charge of you, aren't I, Krika?”
He digs his claws into the wall for a second, aching to say more. Aching to protest. He doesn't take orders from anyone but Miserix himself. Or Teridax now, he supposes.
But Antroz is right.
Krika is someone who is learning how to play these games right.
So he does what he always does: he takes what comes at him and he lies in wait.
Just for now. Just for now. He lies in wait.
“Fine,” he says, stalking out of the room. “But I don't want one. I'm not going to be nice to it.”
“Noted,” answers Antroz, already forgetting what they were talking about as he loses himself in his experimentation and building. Ah, he is a creature of passion in these days, and he does not know the taste of real fear.
Krika wanders into the other room, where silver canisters await him in silence, still as dead things.
He brushes condensation from the surface of the one closest at hand. The sleeping face of a Toa Mata looks back at him.
No, check that.
Not a Toa Mata. Not now. Not anymore.
“Looks like you and I are stuck with each other,” murmurs Krika, releasing the lid of the tomb where this Toa has slept for thousands of years, disturbed only by Teridax's command. “Wake up, then, Toa Hagah.”
And Mata Kopaka opens his eyes.
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annabethisterrified · 4 years
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Book Review: THE TOWER OF NERO (The Trials of Apollo #5)
***No spoilers until you go under the cut!***
After months in the human form of Lester Papadopoulos, the former god Apollo is nearing the end of his trials alongside the young Meg McCaffrey. All their adventures and misfortunes have landed them back in the place it started-- New York. Meg and Apollo must defeat the final, most powerful emperor of the Triumvirate, who also happens to be Meg’s manipulative stepfather. Meanwhile, Nico, Will, and Rachel have important roles to play as the final battle looms. Even if they can defeat Nero, a more terrible enemy awaits in the form of Python, Apollo’s nemesis. Still, if they can succeed, Apollo will finally be restored to godhood. But after everything he’s been through, going back to the way things were doesn’t sound so great anymore. Apollo and his friends will have to find a new way to make all the sacrifices and pain they’ve experienced and witnessed worth it. That is, if they can survive their final trial.
As both the culmination of The Trials of Apollo series and the Camp Half-Blood Chronicles, The Tower of Nero excels at bringing the complicated, moving themes of the saga into final, meaningful reckonings. Nero proves to be a chilling and impressive enemy who forces Apollo and Meg to put everything they’ve learned through their journey together to the ultimate test. New and old characters combine to see the story to its end, and long-time readers are rewarded with actualized development and a bittersweet farewell. The Tower of Nero is a fitting and robust conclusion that shines with all the heart, humor, and growth that makes this saga a worthy frontrunner in children’s literature.
SPOILER SECTIONS BELOW
Welcome!!!!!!!!! Y’all. Y’ALL. I am REELING. If you’ve been around here a while, you probably know I’ve been online here since 2012 (?????!!!!!) where I subjected by followers to weird takes and frantic excitement about the upcoming installments of Heroes of Olympus, then Trials of Apollo. Since I was ten years old, this story has been such a huge part of my life. Now I’m 22 (?????!!!!). So. How am I feeling? I’m feeling like I need to flip over every piece of furniture in my house. In a good way. Look. I gotta break this down into three parts because I’m the worst!
I. TRIALS & TRIBULATION
The Trials of Apollo, to me, felt like the inevitable conclusion to Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Heroes of Olympus. We went through two series where we intimately followed the lives of young demigods growing up through two brutal wars, dangerous quests, and personal reckonings. Gods certainly made appearances, and some were more helpful than others, but the message was always clear-- the demigods were on their own. Two wars fought, two wars won, and at what cost? For what change?
Bringing a god down to earth (both literally and metaphorically) is really the only way a story like this could be rounded out. Especially when the god in question is Apollo. He’s the son of Zeus, who punishes him by turning him mortal. This family set-up already has enormous implications in reference to the previous chain of mythological events: Zeus killed his father Kronos, Kronos killed his father Ouranos, etc. 
Prophecy is also the scaffolding of this entire saga. Everything is dictated by it-- every quest relies on it, most of the demigods we meet are led by it, and the whole Greek/Roman world seems to build their lives around it. My point is, Apollo was a great character to use as the mouthpiece of this last series. He’s been present throughout the previous two series, and he’s relatively unaffected by the Greek/Roman divide. The enemy, the Triumvirate, is also an exciting antagonist-- they’ve fueled and funded the previous two wars, and their obsession with becoming “gods” is loaded with implications as Apollo races to return to his own status as a god.
Apollo himself is also a completely terrible being. From the first pages through his perspective, there’s certainly little sympathy or commiseration with our narrator. Apollo is many things: spoiled, petulant, selfish, and arrogant. He is not good, and now, he is no longer a god. Still, his voice and struggle remained compelling and engaging throughout the series. 
His bond with Meg McCaffrey is, without a doubt, the emotional heart of the whole series. I think they both see aspects of themselves in each other, and it was a genius move to make her the stepdaughter of the enemy. Nero literally sent Meg to be Apollo’s controller and thought that she would easily bring him down; the fact that both these very troubled people cling to each other in the face of such manipulation and frightening circumstances-- and then repeatedly choose to fight their ways back to each other time and again-- is really what makes this series work so well.
With Meg and Apollo at the forefront, after The Hidden Oracle the series takes on something of a “tour” format. We discover new places and revisit old characters across the country, which was definitely exciting for long-time readers to see familiar faces undergo even more development. (This might just be me, but I don’t think ToA can really stand on its own without the worldbuilding/establishment of the first two series-- that’s not a knock on it, but so much of it picks up where the previous series left off, which might make it a disorienting read for someone new to the world.)
Of course, the obvious midpoint reversal of the series is the death of Jason Grace in The Burning Maze. A flip switches completely-- not just for Apollo, but for the whole cast. This is not an incident that just “happens” and is swept aside. In the final two installments, Jason is threaded throughout the story, showing how grief is never truly over. But his sacrifice saved everyone he loved, and had profound impacts on everyone he knew. As brutal as it was, I appreciated how Jason really changed everything through his choice. 
By the time Apollo and Meg return to New York in The Tower of Nero, they are better, stronger versions of themselves. The things they once wanted-- godhood restored, or a father’s approval-- are no longer appealing. Their development (both individually and as friends) is utterly believable and hard-won. We see characters from The Hidden Oracle return changed, too. Losing Jason has dredged up dark feelings within Nico, Rachel is warding off the influence of Python in her mind, and Will’s healer heart is put to the test in yet another final battle. (Listen, this kid played instrumental roles in The Last Olympian, The Blood of Olympus, AND The Tower of Nero. The fate of the world really is in his capable, glow-in-the-dark hands.)
Together, Apollo and team venture into Manhattan for a very intense, exciting, and profound final reckoning with Nero. (CHAPTER 20, ANYONE????) Both Apollo and Meg, once and for all, come into their own and reclaim their power and independence. The pay-off is immaculate, and it’s jarring to remember the Apollo we once knew-- the easygoing one from The Titan’s Curse, the snobbish one from The Blood of Olympus, and the self-pitying one from The Hidden Oracle. His development throughout ToA is seamless and incredibly moving, and we’re left with a protagonist that we can truly, unequivocally root for and love.
II. HAVE YOU LEARNED?
When Nero is defeated, the real enemy still lurks. Apollo’s age-old nemesis, Python, has long haunted him. Their final reckoning is one-on-one, and after everything Apollo’s learned and been through, he goes into his last battle not necessarily caring whether he lives or dies-- he just knows Python must be defeated, no matter the cost. Don’t get me STARTED on his last conversation with Meg!!!!?????? (”Just come back to me, dummy.” I LOVE THEM) 
So, yeah, I’m already crying at that point. Apollo (slowly regaining his godhood) goes into this completely by himself, assuming all risk and responsibility. He’s forced to sacrifice the Arrow of Dodona, and eventually chooses to sacrifice himself by flinging them both down to Tartarus. But we don’t stop there! Oh, no, we go all the way down to Chaos. The primordial soup of all the pantheons, all of existence. Python crumbles, and Apollo clings to the edge-- he clings to life.
This is it. This is the literal rock-bottom moment of the saga, and I’m completely unsure of how he’s getting out of this one. Who’s going to rescue him? What can he even do at this point? Genuinely, I had no idea where this was going-- and I never would have guessed that it would be the goddess Styx who shows up. She’s played an important, but also very minor, role in ToA. I was baffled at first-- I thought, what does she have to do with any of this? But then it ended up playing out in like the most breathtaking, moving way possible. It’s one of the most defining scenes of the entire 15 books to me. 
She only asks him: “Have you learned?”
This is the goddess of promises and oaths. Since The Lightning Thief, we’ve seen how oaths are tossed around like confetti. Percy’s very existence (not to mention Thalia and Jason’s) is because of a broken promise. An oath to keep with a final breath is one of the revisited elements throughout the Heroes of Olympus series. Apollo makes willy-nilly promises in The Hidden Oracle, which he later regrets. 
Then, at the end of everything, Styx only asks Apollo if he’s learned. All the talk of promises and oaths in this story doesn’t actually have anything to do with “keeping promises”-- certainly, so many promises are broken we can’t keep track. It all boils down to whether we learn from what we experience and use that to become better people moving forward. It’s about making sure we mean what we say and what we do. It’s about commitment and devotion to the people we love and the things we care about. Promises don’t matter. Only action does. 
I can’t understate how thoroughly pleased I was that this was the final reckoning of the saga. It was an unexpected and completely profound moment, and such an important scene to use as the emotional climax of the book.
III. WHERE WE GO FROM HERE
After 15 years and 15 books, The Tower of Nero had to find a way to bring the saga to a close without nailing the coffin shut. More standalone novels are surely on the horizon (I’m looking at you, Nico and Will), but as a whole, this saga did need to come to a satisfying end. 
Let’s pick up after Apollo is restored to godhood. He wakes up to his sister Artemis, and the very first thing he does? After finally returning to his true form, the thing he’s relentlessly yearned for the whole series? He just breaks down sobbing. He’s miserable. There’s no relief or joy in the realization that he’s once again an Olympian. 
I’m always a sucker for the trope of “Character does everything possible to reach Goal only to realize that Goal isn’t actually what they want or need at all”, so of course, I was moved to see Apollo learn that he doesn’t actually care much about whether he’s a god or a human anymore. (In fact, he later remarks that he envies Lu’s new ability to grow old and age alongside Meg and her foster siblings.)
I was doubly-moved that Apollo’s restoration to godhood was not an action on Zeus’s part. From what little context we get (a lot happens “off screen” and even Apollo isn’t sure), it appears that Apollo either reclaimed his own godhood through sheer force of will to return from Chaos and reunite with his friends, and/or Styx aided him. But it seems obvious Zeus wasn’t involved, which has HUGE implications for the power structure of the Olympians moving forward.
A lot of us, myself included, had certain expectations for how Apollo’s inevitable reunion with Zeus and the rest of the Olympians would go. I, for one, was excited to see Apollo either tell off his father, or possibly assume a position as the new Camp Half-Blood director or New Rome’s pontifex maximus. Instead, we got a somewhat quiet, but incredibly tense interaction between all the Olympians. The closest thing to an outburst is actually between Hera and Zeus, as she tells him off for not mourning his son Jason, as Apollo did. (Dare I say....I liked Hera for a moment?) (ALSO, I’m fully on-board with the theory that Zeus did not intervene in Jason’s death as a punishment for Jason publicly calling him “unwise” in The Blood of Olympus.)
The whole scene reads as a powder keg. Already, it’s established that Apollo, Artemis, and Dionysus (and possibly even Athena and Hera) have no illusions of Zeus’s grandeur. They do not view him as family, or even as a leader. He’s simply just the one with enough power to punish the rest of them when they get “out of line”. 
Apollo began naming Zeus as his abuser fairly early on in the series. Perhaps witnessing the way Meg thinks and speaks about her stepfather Nero made this clear for him. In either case, he begins to explicitly mirror the very same advice he gives Meg in dealing with her abuser: distance yourself from the abusive person/situation, and accept that tyrants do not change and it is not your responsibility to attempt to make them “see the light”. Thus, Apollo makes no appeal or argument to Zeus– he understands by then that it’d be fruitless. Instead, he’s concentrating his energy on doing everything he can do with what he has; he’s committed to being a protector and friend of demigods, and he sees that other gods are beginning to (if not already) see Zeus’s wrongness. (More on this here.)
Was it what I expected going into the book? Nope. But I have to admit that it was really exciting to see Zeus try to hide the very real fear of realizing that his son Apollo is no longer afraid of him, and is quite possibly more powerful than him, too. Apollo switches gears entirely away from Zeus, and focuses his energy back on the friends he’s made and the children he has. It’s a refreshing reminder that it’s often more productive to concentrate on helping others instead of harming those who harm us. 
That being said, I would have liked a few paragraphs or pages discussing what practical differences there will be for the lives of young demigods in the wake of this change. I understand that might not have worked given the very condensed timeline post-returning-to-godhood (the story ends literally the same day or day after), but I do hope and believe that Apollo’s transformation is going to change the way demigods perceive gods-- and what they will expect of gods in the future. Just look at how Apollo is received by the campers at CHB. They’re ecstatic to see him. They think of him as a hero. Apollo is coming back just to help and spend time with his kids, his friends, and the campers, and he’s going to keep coming back. The other gods are certainly going to feel some pressure to follow suit. 
Speaking of Apollo’s reunions...shall we?
I loved that we got to see all the main-players one last time. Mimicking the “tour format” of the series, we get to watch Apollo catch up with his loved ones, who helped him learn how to be a better person throughout his trials.
It was sad, but reassuring, to watch Nico come to terms with Jason’s death. I like how he outlined the differences between Hazel’s and Jason’s deaths, and why he isn’t interfering out of respect for Jason. Watching Jason appear to Apollo (ambiguously as a ghost or as a figment of Apollo’s dream-imagination) was another moving reminder of the stark differences in the ways that different demigods prioritize and think about what it is to be a hero. Jason’s idea and Percy’s idea, for instance, are super different because of the way they were raised. Percy would put anything on the line for his family and friends; so would Jason, of course, but he also has a much broader view of what’s worth sacrificing your life for...which is admirable in ways, but also painfully sad, since a lot has to change in order for Jason’s death to carry weight. Over the course of the last two books, I think it’s very safe to say Jason’s death did change just about everything for the people who knew and loved him, and even those who didn’t. 
Whew. Okay, back to Camp Half-Blood. Nico and Will are clearly now very comfortable with each other, and it’s refreshing to see how they both watch out for each other and bring out the best in one another. I’m excited for their inevitable solo book, but regardless, it’s good to see Nico getting the help he needs (from his own experiences, from Dionysus, Will, etc), and for Rachel to get some distance from her terrible parents by living out her art student dreams in Paris. 
Then, we drop by the Waystation. I simply cannot get over the fact that Calypso is at BAND CAMP. Anyway, it’s unsurprising to find out that she and Leo are still “complicated”, but I’m glad she’s experiencing the highs and lows of mortal life, and that Leo is working on helping out vulnerable youth (and has two mom figures in his life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Glad we get to see Thalia and Reyna both happy and healthy, too.
Next up, Camp Jupiter and New Rome. LOVE that Hazel and Frank have both reclaimed the curses that haunted them since The Son of Neptune. They really both did just...like...basically die to bring down the Big Bad and then come back better than ever. (Side note: I still obviously have issues with the fact that Hazel is SO YOUNG! There was no reason for her not to be 15/16 like the rest of the Argo 2 crew! Ugh.)
Anyway, then we say goodbye to Percy and Annabeth. Except for the annoying continuity error in terms of the timeline of them learning about Jason, I really really really loved this parting moment with them. I know some readers wanted Percy and Annabeth to stay in New York, but it always felt very natural and meaningful for me that they’d want to relocate to New Rome. That was always the Big Dream for most of Heroes of Olympus, and it makes sense to me that they’d choose to live somewhere designed for demigods to actually live and grow old and raise families. Besides, I’m quite certain they’ll frequently be visiting New York. I digress. 
It was super bittersweet to see these two finally off on their own (and basically living together, as Apollo teasingly implies) going to college! Definitely a huge sigh of relief and satisfaction after following all their exploits since they were twelve. I’m so glad we get to see them (all things considered) happy and excited for their new life together. They certainly stepped back in this series, as they deserved. But they still lose Jason, and that’s something that weighs heavily on them and likely always will. Apollo calls Jason “the best of us”, and I don’t think that use of “us” is lost on Percy, Annabeth, or anyone-- Apollo’s identity and alignment is with them now, which will hopefully lead to positive change.
Then, simultaneously the saddest and happiest (?) reunion-- with Piper. This was obviously really heavy, since the last time Apollo sees her is in the wake of Jason’s death. For me, I’m very proud and excited by the fact that Piper is the only character who basically forges a whole new life (outside of the sphere of the Olympians) for herself. She’s far from other demigods and gods, and is committed to reconnecting with her mortal family and making a beautiful life. She has a new friend, too, which is absolutely awesome. (I mean, we all KNEW, right? But it’s really great to see this confirmed on-page.) When Piper told Apollo that he did right by Jason, I definitely lost it. And I also just really loved the final beat with her-- Apollo’s stammering a goodbye, but Piper’s already turned around to walk back to her new friend and her new life.
The final farewell, of course, went to Meg McCaffrey. She’s reclaimed Aeithales, and is now foster-sibling-extraordinaire by rescuing Nero’s other adopted demigods and giving them a new chance. Meg’s really matured and grown into such a kind and strong leader, but it was super bittersweet to see how much she still values Apollo. Their reunion just about broke me. They share a bond that no one else will ever understand, and they brought each other out of darkness that nearly ended them both. I literally can’t think of a better final dialogue than what they share:
You’ll come back?
Always. The sun always comes back. 
I’m fine!!! 
Anyway, this brings me to the closing lines of the story. Just as Percy opens The Lightning Thief by directly addressing the reader, Apollo closes The Tower of Nero by bidding farewell to us. 
Call on me. I will be there for you. 
On so many levels, this line works really well as the ending. For me, and I imagine for you too if you’re reading this, these 15 books are a pillar of our childhoods. We grew up alongside these characters, and found enormous excitement and identity and magic in these pages. The story may have come to a close, but it lives on within us-- it’s something we can return to time and again for enjoyment and understanding.
More than anything, this story pulled off something I didn’t really know was possible: it makes me feel genuinely and enthusiastically glad to be human, no matter how strange or hard it gets.
____________
My fifth-grade teacher assigned The Lightning Thief as mandatory reading when I was ten years old. I picked it up reluctantly, but from the first lines, I just completely fell into this story. Twelve years since that assignment, I’m now a traditionally-published author myself...writing about what else but mythology, of course. These books saw me from elementary school all the way to post-college life. It’s hard to imagine where I’d be without them-- certainly, I’d never have achieved my lifelong dream of becoming an author, nor would I have found such an incredible online community like the one I’ve found here. I consider myself extremely lucky to have grown up alongside these characters and their incredible story. 
I know we’ve likely got more standalones in this world to come, but this is still the end of the saga. I’m sad to see it come to a close, but I’m so ecstatic with the send-off we got, and I’m excited to let the story settle and become a part of me-- something that will always affect how I see the world, something that reminds me of why I write, and something that’s always there to welcome me home.
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shinonometrash · 3 years
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Jasper Lane’s Main Story: English vs Japanese version, full summary, comparisons & thoughts. Part 1 of 3. (TW: rape, sexual assault, drugging)
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So! Jasper’s route has finally been released in English as of August 31st, 2021. It seems that Voltage is following the same release order for consorts and events as how items were released in the Japanese version. I spent wayyy too much money to binge the entire route in a day...and get all the premium content...(honestly the hardest part about binging a route isn’t the love passes, it’s getting all the spirit points. Ugh.) I took note of a lot of different things in this and wanted to make a post going over all this information. Sorry this post took me so long to make, I had to go back and reread a lot of Jasper’s story in Japanese to refresh my memory as well as make sure I didn’t miss any big details since I had read it first back in May, and my Japanese has improved a lot (I think) since then. It was unfortunate and I didn’t really want to, lol. But! Now it’s his birthday (9/11)! I get to post this on his birthday! Happy birthday, asshole! This post is why you and your route suck! I’m probably only going to be able to post this first part today though, because honestly this post is taking much more time than I expected.
The biggest thing is going to be that 
Jasper’s English (Court of Darkness) route does NOT contain any major triggering content. You’ll probably still want to punch him, though.
So, if you’re looking to find out about that, there you go. Anyways.
I’ve broken this into four posts, three that contain summaries of each chapter, regardless of changes, and one that only contains the changes. 
(As of the date of posting, 9/11/2021, I have not completed all the posts yet. Please check back later and I will add the links to the rest of  them as they are posted.)
This post is part one including the summaries. Part two in currently progress. Part three in currently progress. Post with ONLY comparisons and thoughts currently in progress. 
Since I had contacted Voltage about the triggering content in Jasper’s route (and made a very lengthy Tumblr post about it) and they told me they prefer to remove potentially triggering content from stories in the localization process, rather than simply adding trigger warnings, I was more or less expecting this. Although...I didn’t really expect it to be to this extent, nor did I realize how I was actually going to feel about it...! Of course, the CoD did a fabulous job with the content they were given and what they were told to do, as always, and I completely understand why they changed what they did. Like. Seriously. They did the best they could do with the absolute mess of a route they were given. But, like, the route was an absolute mess to begin with. So there’s only so much that can be done to fix it...💀 Anyways, please know that any of my complaining is not directed at the CoD team because they’re wonderful!! Support them by buying in game content if you’re able to!! They recently released a special VIP pack that’s honestly an AMAZING deal. This is just a criticism of the route itself and my thoughts on it, not on the CoD team.
Now, onto the main point of the post...the English and Japanese versions of this route are very different. 
Warning: This post contains major spoilers about Jasper’s main story as well as potentially triggering content including but not limited to rape, sexual assault, and drugging.
In addition, I am not including any CGs in this post as I’m not trying to break Voltage’s policy.
Please click under the read more to continue.
Okay, so first off this is probably going to sound incredibly self centered of me, but I sort of get the feeling that my post about his Japanese route had some sort of influence on the changes in his route...? Not sure how big of tabs Voltage keeps on Tumblr...but it seems like nearly all of the main points I was specifically really mad about got changed--and I’m sure they must have definitely seen my post...? Also, this too probably sounds silly, but I was kinda happy reading some of the dialogue that was nearly the same as the way I had translated it. Part of me was still afraid that I had no idea what I was talking about and just looked stupid writing a long post with misinterpretations of lines💀
Pre-notes: 1. For those who named their cat something else, Robin = MC’s cat.  2. In the direct quotes, anytime you see “---” it’s just me cutting out a part in the dialogue that I deem unnecessary for comparison purposes. 3. I bolded whether there’s differences in the chapters or not in each chapter summary, in case you only want to read the summaries for the chapters with the differences. It’s pretty much going to be the same as reading my other post, then, but I explain more of the chapter here, usually.
Chapter 1-3
Literally so dull. Nothing really of note. Pretty much the same between the English and Japanese. Jasper asks about her hands and she’s like “omg he’s so nice he was worried about my hands!!”, she meets Sherry and they become friends, the headmaster tells her she has to learn magic if she wants a chance at going back home. They go to the runes and learn about the history of Saligia. Guy grabs her again, she escapes.
Chapter 4
It starts to get a little bit more interesting here. Overall, nothing seems too different between the two stories yet. Jasper invites her to the rooftop for a tea party. Jasper is desperately trying to get MC to interact (in a positive manner) with Guy, she asks Jasper to have tea with her instead. Sherry and Rio mention a ball. Toa and Guy get into a glaring match. Toa leaves. You know, the usual. Jasper whispers something in Guy’s ear and they leave, and everybody follows them because...you know. They discover that Guy’s room has been trashed. Toa walks in and asks what’s going on, and then falls silent when he sees Guy’s room. Guy is like “Toa, you left before me, did you not?” and Toa is like “What are you trying to imply?” then they glare at each other until Lynt is like “Are you trying to say that Toa is the culprit? He would never.” Fenn agrees. Roy says they should investigate, and Toa says he will also investigate, since he is the dorm prefect after all. Afterwards, Jasper asks Guy if he thinks Toa did it, Guy says “No, Qelsum isn’t that stupid.” Guy says they need information. He sends Jasper out to investigate, tells Jasper to be sure not to be seen. Fenn, Violet, and MC go out for food or something, and MC runs into Sirius, literally. Fenn is like “what are you doing?” and MC says she ran into somebody but turns around and there’s nobody there. I guess it’s trying to imply that Jasper is stealthy and can hide away into the night or something?? But then that’s it.
Chapter 5-6
No overall noticeable changes. It’s time for the ball! Sherry lends MC a dress and they head to the ball. She sees Jasper in the hallway closely inspecting wine, without Guy. She calls his name and he startles. He tells her he’s selecting a wine for Guy because Guy is very selective and will not consume anything that Jasper has not prepared. Jasper essentially says that Guy is his reason for living. Then they go into the dance hall. And Guy is all like “why did you come in together?” then they say they ran into each other by chance. Guy goes to take a sip of the wine, looks  startled, and then ends up spitting it out into a handkerchief. He claims he choked on the wine. She finds Jasper in the hallway again, looking at the wine, and calls out. Again, he startles. She wonders why. She tries to ask, but then he dodges the question by telling MC that the dress looks good on her. He invites her to dance and says he’ll teach her. They head back to the ballroom, she asks him some various questions and they all basically end with him saying that he serves Guy or whatever, and she’s thinking all like “work, again...?”. Jasper then tries to make her dance with Guy instead of himself, and when she says she’s going to leave he grabs her arm. There’s a few choices you can make, but one of them is “Please let go of me.” And then! And then! This man literally looks at her and asks “Why?” Yikes!! And she asks why he’s asking why, and he says he doesn’t want her to go, so she agrees to stay a little longer. (Mistake #1) Then he shoves her off onto Guy again. After dancing with Guy she goes out to the balcony and runs into Aquia, and Aquia pricks his finger and it starts bleeding. She tries to look at it and it somehow brushes her lips and at that moment Guy and Jasper come out and ask what’s going on. Aquia apologizes (he did nothing wrong!! >:(  ) They then discover that Aquia’s wound has magically healed somehow. Then here’s the scene with  Guy: “That girl, I want to know everything about her.” Jasper: “Oh my, have you fallen in love?” Guy: “Something like that” Jasper: “Congratulations! We must celebrate this wonderful occasion!” Guy: “That’s enough now. Investigate that woman’s power.”
Chapter 7
No major changes between versions. But...Ughhhhhhhh. We’re gonna meet Sirius in this chapter. But first some humor. They go to the S rank lounge, I believe after the ball. Jasper offers to make coffee. Literally ALL the valets suddenly RUSH to Jasper’s side to ask him to teach them how to brew coffee. So there sitting in the S rank lounge with Jasper brewing coffee while all the other valets are like 👀👀👀👀 lmaoooo. Aight and so the humorous part ends there, sorry! That’s it! Now we must move on.  Fenn says he wants to go out drinking and asks Jasper if he’d like to join, Jasper declines saying he has other matters to attend to. We learn that Hawke, Jasper, and Lance are all drinking buddies. MC is all like “oh thank god, that means he does get time off!” -_- So then Toa laughs and comments how close Jasper and MC are, and is like “wow imagine using your valet for something like that” and then tells her that she’ll be a tool for Avari if she sticks with them, and that it’s not too late to switch to Qelsum’s side instead. (She does not switch. Mistake #2. Arguably her biggest mistake in this entire route, if you ask me.) Guy interjects and tells Toa that MC is his, and Toa is like “lmaooo then why does she seem closer with your valet than you?” and then they glare at each other. MC gets annoyed and leaves. Jasper asks where she’s going. She says she’s going back to her room to see Robin. For some reason, Jasper seems disappointed about this? Afterwards, she goes to her room for a bit but then decides to go explore the town with Robin. Uh oh! Robin goes missing.
She starts looking for Robin and runs into this sketch looking dude. He asks her where’s she’s going, she says she’s looking for her cat. He’s like “oh that flying thing?” and she’s like “Yeah!” and then is like “could you just tell me which way he was headed? I can get there myself.” but the guy insists that she should follow him instead, because the streets are dangerous and she might run into dangerous men. The man is then like “I’m Sirius.” (which, when I first read the Japanese, I thought he was saying “I’m serious” lmaoo) and then he frickin grabs her hand and drags her off!!! Yikes! 
Chapter 8, 1st Interlude, and Chapter 9 
Okay so we’ve got the most significant changes in these chapters. Like. A LOT. This is what the majority of my previous post focused on: the drugging, sexual assault, and morning after.  They basically did their best to make this consensual. It went very similar to what I had predicted, although played up a bit more cringe-y than I had expected...or maybe I just hadn’t thought about how cringe-y it would be. There’s literally so many changes that it’d be a bit of a pain to summarize all of them between the versions, I’m just going to put the actual dialogue/stuff from the stories for a lot of this so you can see the differences more directly. (The Japanese will be roughly translated by me, of course.)
Chapter 8
So Sirius starts walking and walking and walking and she asks where they’re going but he keeps insisting it’ll only be just a little longer or that it’s a shortcut and stuff. Ughhhhh...Then she’s like. This man clearly has no idea what he’s doing, I’m going to run away after all. But then he suddenly tells her they’re going to take a “break”. He drags her into the bar before she can protest or try to run. She tries to say no to a drink, but then he asks if she does drink and she’s like “well I do, but...” and you start seeing the differences here. In English she makes a comment of “Ugh, if only he wasn’t so charming.” Sirius further insists only one drink, even though MC tries to say she needs to go find Robin. He then just straight up orders drinks for them, despite her protesting. She then agrees, and then mentally apologizes to Robin. (Mistake #3) And we start seeing the biggest differences about right here...
For this chapter, let’s play a guessing game on which one is the Japanese version and which one is the English version, shall we? :)
Away from the table, Sirius plants a palm on the counter. Two of the usual are set out before him, bubbles frothing over the top. Sirius glances back and finds MC staring at the patterns in the wood grain. Sirius: Much obliged. Tavern Keeper: Mm-hmm. Scooping up the fizzing, popping tumblers, he tosses a wink at the tavern keeper. Then, he strolls back to spend time with his new friend. - Away from the table, Sirius plants a palm on the counter. Immediately two of the usual shot glasses are set out in front of him. Just to make sure, he looks back at MC, who is staring at the table. Sirius: Ah, thanks. Tavern Keeper: Mhm. Sirius skillfully drops the tablet he had hidden between his fingers into the shot glass of the opposite hand. Then, feigning a nonchalant look, he returns back to the table.
Did you guess which one was which in this part? :) And yes, my friends. In the fucking CANON MAIN ROUTE, it deadass has a line saying that our love interest puts a drug in our drinks. And yet...the Japanese fans still love him! Ugh. Also, that “skillfully” bit really concerns me. That kinda implies that he’s done it multiple times before, does it not??? Honestly I’m not really sure why it says it was a shot glass in the Japanese, though. I thought they were drinking like cocktails, not taking a shot. Maybe that’s why they changed that bit...? Now the stories are the same again for a tiny bit. Some time has passed that they’ve been in the bar/tavern and MC chugs her drink and slams it down on the table. She seems drunk. She’s rambling about Guy and Jasper. Like “I’m not an object!!” “and he’s like “Yes, yes, you aren’t an object.” then like “Who goes around saying stuff like “you are mine” and “give me your power”?? Like seriously! Who says that sort of stuff! It’s so messed up!” and he just listens along, amused. He then says that it’s good to drink sometimes, and she agrees, and then he asks what she wants to do. She notes how she’s only had one drink, yet her head feels a bit fuzzy already, and how it made her very talkative. She says she wants to go home. She reveals that her family died, and that she has a hair clip in her hair from her mom that’s very important to her. She mentions how there are still good people in this world, though.  Sirius tries to order her another drink, and here’s where stuff deviates again.
Sirius: Another of the same, if you please. MC: What, no! I’m fine MC: So hey, you’ve been fantastic company but I really need to go find Robin. (Man I got way too into that conversation.) (Robin must be out there looking for me.) MC: Thanks for the drink, though. You’re a really good listener. And also...really, really pretty. MC: It’s been great meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime? MC: Like...when I’m not looking for my cat. That’d be...nice.” (I have no filter. No filter whatsoever.) MC: Right, so...Bye... He stands up right as I do. The rickety old table wobbles between us and I pitch into his arms. Sirius: Steady on. Sirius: I might almost think you’ve fallen for me. (Fallen for him? But I’ve only just met the man.) Sirius holds me steady as I smile up at him, feeling silly but bold. He’s even more handsome up close. MC: Like I said, very attractive but...gotta go. Sirius: Hold fast. MC: Haha. Did you just pick me up?! Sirius hefts me into his arms like I weigh nothing, and for a moment I feel like I’m being carried off into the sunset. An electrifying thrill runs through me as I sway against him, adn then I realize we’re moving. MC: Where are we going? Sirius: ... MC: The look he gives me then makes my eyebrows shoot up. I nod and let him carry on. (English version, Mistake #4) When I next open my eyes, I’m being placed down on something fluffy. (I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I should leave well enough alone but there’s something about him...) I peer at the unfamiliar ceiling overhead while Sirius stares down in my eyes. Sirius: No need to hurry. Sirius: The night’s just begun, after all. (Wait a second, aren’t you...?) The seductive smile on his face comes closer. For a split second he reminds me of someone, but it must be my imagination. - Sirius: Bartender, another of the same. MC: Ah, no, I’m good! MC: I really need to go find Robin. (Yikes, I got totally absorbed in that conversation.) (Surely Robin is looking for me, too) MC: Thanks...for talking with me...and listening... MC: Thanks to that I’ll be sure to...remember this... MC: From now on, I’m going...to study...more seriously...for sure.... (Wha...I’m so dizzy...) MC: Sorry...I’m...leaving now... Sirius: Whoa, hold on. MC: Ah... Unsteady on my feet, Sirius picks me up and holds me in his arms. I feel swaying and I open my eyes slightly. I’m being carried somewhere. MC: Where...are we going...? Sirius: ... Strangely, it feels like the ceiling has gotten awfully high... The next thing I’m aware of when I open my eyes is being placed down on something fluffy. (Where am I...?) I gaze at the ceiling above me and Sirius looks into my eyes. Sirius: Let’s take it slowly. Sirius: The night has just begun, no? (Huh...?) Laughing mysteriously, the man’s face comes closer. For a second, I think he looks similar to someone. But it’s just my imagination, right...?
I’m sure you can guess which one is which. One is extremely alarming, the other is cringe. It’s clear they did the most they could to try and make it consensual between them, and ended up doing exactly what I thought with having her make several comments about how attractive he is and then add some playful flirting between them. 😖 Alright! Ready for the next part? 
1st Interlude
I just read the normal first interlude in Japanese before typing out this post and...god, I thought the premium interlude was bad. So, one more time, trigger warning for sexual assault. Damn I really don’t want to write this part, I’m so tired from writing the rest TT (I saved this for last, unfortunately.) I’m not translating all of these so I’ll do a mix of translating exact lines and summarization. In all the stories, first she calls out Jasper’s name at first, confused, and then Sirius looks shocked. And she’s like, how weird, why would I call him that...he’s clearly Sirius...and then they all start to deviate. ><
Normal Interlude
Japanese version (this is the worst one): MC: I’m sorry...I must’ve gotten drunk, sorry for the trouble... Sirius: So you’re apologizing in this situation. (This...situation...?) He kisses her. (Wha...I’m being...kissed...) I’m aware of it, but my body feels so heavy, I can’t resist it. With my arms pinned to the bed, I’m forced to accept the kiss. He says “what is this power?” and then she sees an aura flare up around him. She asks if it’s magic, and he says that it’s interesting, and then asks if it has to do with the length of time or the type of physical contact. -- Sirius: Is it only your lips, or...? His finger runs along my knee, tickling it. With his other hand, he skillfully slips his hand into my shirt. Sirius: No need to be alarmed. Sirius: I simply wish to confirm. (Confirm...?) Sirius: So soft and smooth, you feel nice to touch. Sirius: But, I don’t feel anything from just touching you... Sirius: Is it different depending on where I touch? The sensation of him stroking my skin falsely spreads through my whole body while his fingertips make their way down to my lower limbs. I move my shoulders to try to tell him “I don’t want you to touch me!”, but it doesn’t matter as his fingertips continue to try to uncover something. MC: St...stop it... Yelling out makes him stop--at least, that’s what I had thought. However,  the thing that stops him isn’t my voice. He removes his hand that was feeling around in my shirt and then starts to think about something. (Is he...searching for something...?) Sirius: ...so it can’t be transferred through the skin, hm. (W-what...?) It’s finally over--is what I thought, at least. This time, he drops kisses on my ears and collarbone. When he puts his hands on my thighs again, I want to run away immediately. (Why...? Why is this happening...?) MC: Is this...is this a dream...? Sirius: Yes. It’s a dream. So, goodnight. Sirius: You’re about to reach the limit, aren’t you? (Limit? What is he talking about?) Even if I wanted to think about it, my head is too fuzzy and I can’t think of anything. I don’t like it, but...what is it I don’t like? Surely it was something important, but I can’t remember. Before I could say “I’m sorry, I’m really sleepy” my consciousness blacks out. She passes out and Sirius says something about how interesting it is, and that he must report his findings to Guy.
English version: MC: Sorry, I can’t believe I called you by the wrong name. Sirius: Is this the time for apologies? (I guess not...?) He kisses her. (We’re kissing. I’m kissing Sirius...) He’s certainly attractive enough. I’m not attached to anyone here, and yet...Why is it that I keep thinking of Jasper? He says “what is this power?” and then she sees an aura flare up around him. She asks if it’s magic, and he says that it’s interesting, and then asks if it has to do with the length of time or the type of physical contact. -- Sirius: Is it only your lips, or...? His fingers walk along my knee, tickling me. I shiver and grin as he gives me a considering look, then slips his hand inside my shirt. -- Sirius: I only wish to see what you’re capable of. (Strangest bedroom talk ever.) Sirius: You’re exquisite. Soft, smooth, perfect to the touch... Sirius: But I seek other responses. Sirius: Tell me, is this where you want to be touched? He peers down at me expectantly, hands petting along my skin as if to encourage me to speak. I squeeze my thighs together, hoping he’ll continue without the need for words. He raises an eyebrow. MC: Sirius, I need... At first I think the sound of my voice has given him pause. Then I realize something else has happened. He tidies my open shirt a little and frowns thoughtfully. (What is he doing? What is it he’s looking for?) Sirius: Hm, no transfer from the skin. (Uh, what?) My mouth falls open. Has the moment been ruined somehow? If so, what’d I do? But then he plants tiny kisses over my ears, neck, and cheeks. His hands sweep over me once more, but far more soothingly. Still, I can’t get the image of Jasper out of my mind. (I can’t be doing this. It’s not fair to be thinking of one man when I’m with another. I need to sort my head out.) MC: Sirius, I can’t do this. I’m...I think I’m developing feelings for someone else, so it wouldn’t be fair to you to do this... Sirius: Well, well. There’s an unexpected turn. ...All right. We’ll think of this as nothing more than a passing dream. Sirius: This never happened then. Good night, MC. (Good night? But we’ve only just...) Suddenly I feel very drowsy. A second ago I wanted nothing more than a crazy, one-night romp with a man who has crystalline red eyes. Now I can’t think of anything but how comfortable this bed is. She passes out and Sirius says something about how interesting it is, and that he must report his findings to Guy. --
Yikes!!!!! I was so shocked when I read the normal interlude!! Especially the Japanese version!! Now for the other one...
Premium Interlude
Japanese version:
MC: I’m sorry...I must’ve gotten drunk, sorry for the trouble... Sirius: So you’re apologizing in this situation. (This...situation...?) His voice is close.  But besides that, I don’t understand the situation very well. Sirius: Is it hard to open your eyes? MC: Yes... Sirius: I’ll make you feel better right now. (Feel better...?) She sees him put in eyedrops. She tries to ask but her voice is really quiet and her throat is dry. MC: Excuse me, could...could I have some water?”  Sirius: I’ll give you some right now I felt something cold touch my lips and water poured down my throat. MC: ...nng (No...it’s something else. I’m...being kissed...) I understand that, but, but I feel too drowsy to be able to resist.  With my arms pinned to the bed, I’m forced to accept the kiss. He says “what is this power?” and then she sees an aura flare up around him. She asks if it’s magic, and he says that it’s interesting, and then asks if it has to do with the length of time or the type of physical contact. (What...this kiss...) It’s a kiss that makes me feel as if I’ll be swallowed by the torrent of pleasure. (I’ve never experienced something like this...) Sirius: Ha...ahh... MC: ...mm, Sirius... His lips pull away with a wet sound and I sigh. Sirius: It’s as I thought... MC: Stop...it...already... Sirius: Shhh... Sirius: Be quiet. I’m going to make you feel better. He wipes his finger along my wet lips and pushes it inside my mouth. My shoulders jump and I shiver and inhale sharply, feeling like I’m being bitten on the neck by Sirius. MC: Mnn... Sirius: Suck... He moves his finger around my mouth and I move my tongue as I’m told. Sirius: That’s it good girl... Sirius: ...so it can’t be transferred through the skin, hm. (What...is he talking about...?) Sirius: How about...here? He removes his finger from my mouth and strokes my knee. MC asks if it’s a dream, and the rest of the interlude ends the same way as the normal Japanese interlude ends.
English version:
MC: Sorry, I can’t believe I called you by the wrong name. Sirius: Is this the time for apologies? (I guess not...?) I can almost feel his voice vibrate against my skin. Shivering at the sensation, I let my head fall against the pillows. Sirius: Would you rather keep your eyes closed at the moment? MC: Mm. yeah. I like the sound of your voice. It...reminds me of someone... Sirius: Then keep them closed. Sirius tells her to hold on a minute and puts in eyedrops. MC says her throat is dry and asks for some water. He gives her water, but she realizes that it’s not a cup but rather him giving her water from his lips. -- They kiss. (Who taught him to kiss like this?) It’s like some dam has burst within me and a tide of pleasure is threatening to sweet me away. (I’ve never experienced anything like this. Is this magic, too, or just him?) Sirius: Mm..Yes... MC: Ah...Sirius... A wanton moan escapes me as he gives me space to breathe. The thing is, in my mind’s eye I keep seeing someone else. Sirius: Quite as I suspected. MC: That was incredible. What was-- Sirius: Shh. Hush now. I’ll fufill that yearning of yours. He rubs his thumb against my dampened bottom lip then slips it inside my mouth. My shoulders jump as he moves his lips and teeth over my neck. Sirius: Suck. I obediently swirl my tongue over his thumb, taking it in further. Sirius: Good girl. -- Then she says she can’t do it because of having feelings for someone else, just like in the normal English and the rest of the interlude continues the exact same way.
I can’t believe Voltage was really like “hey, pay us and we’ll make the content less rape-y for you! :)” Big yikes lol. I’d only read the premium at the time of my original post, and I thought that was bad enough to write a post about it. That normal interlude though? YIKES. Like...gahhh I know I already said this same thing like three times earlier but I’m just so grossed out!!
Also, a quick note. The CG for this has Sirius laying on top of her while she has her eyes closed. This is because she’s UNCONSCIOUS in the Japanese version. I was wondering how they were gonna get around it, but like not long before it came out I was like “oh they can just have him comment telling her to close her eyes or something” and I guess that’s more or less what they did...?
Chapter 9
Okay so I realize I did make a slight translation error in my original post about the ninth chapter. She does indeed say “I don’t have a headache” rather than what I had thought it said which was “My head hurts, but it can’t be a hangover.”  which is what they went with in the English. “My head doesn’t hurt, though, which suggests I don’t have a hangover.” The rest seems about right, though. Anyways, so this chapter starts the morning after the events of the first interlude with MC waking up in the strange bedroom. While not technically as big of change as in Chapter 8 and the first interlude, this is also one of the most changed chapters between versions. 
The Japanese version:
(Where am I?) I open my eyes and am unable to move at first. ---- (Robin and I got separated in town...so I was searching for him) (And then...ah, yeah, I met Sirius) (He was showing me the way...and then there was that bar on the dark street where I was only going to drink one drink, and then...) .... ....... .......... “Shit, I can’t remember anything...” I’m not sure how I got to this room or what happened after I blacked out. My head doesn’t hurt, so it’s not a hangover.  I only had one drink, that’s the one thing I CAN remember. “No way...” Nervously, I run my hands down my body.  The hem of my shirt was untucked, all the buttons completely undone, and my skirt was rolled up past my thighs.  (I want to think it’s just from how I slept...I really want to think that, but...)  Being drunk can make you roll around and do that. I can’t hide how anxious I am about this unexpected situation. My heart thumps painfully in my chest and my legs shake. ---- (Huh? A tattoo?) I see Sirius taking a shower in the other room, with a tattoo spread across his back. (That would mean Sirius and I...) Looking at the bed with disheveled sheets, I wrap my arms around my body and hug myself tightly. “Maybe...maybe we just slept, that’s all...” (It’s a pitiful excuse, I know.) (Oh my god!! I need to go find Robin!!) Remembering something very important, she runs out of the room. ---- Sirius: “Ha, she ran away.”
English version:
Where am I? I open my eyes and stay perfectly still for the first few minutes. ---- (I got separated from Robin in town and while I was looking for him I, ended up lost.) (And then...Oh right, I met Sirius. Man, he was attractive.) (He was showing me the way, then we paused for a drink, and then...) Then...Hmm. What did happen? I’m drawing a blank here. “What the? I have no memory of last night.” I have no idea where this is or the events that led to me waking up here. There are flashes of groans and sighs, but that’s all. My head doesn’t hurt, though, which suggests I don’t have a hangover. Not that I’d expect to have one over a single drink, but I remember that drink being similar to a potion. “Uh-oh. Did I hook up with someone?” I carefully pat myself down. My shirt’s untucked, the buttons are undone, and my skirt’s hiked up around my thighs. (Then again, I could’ve just slept weird. Here’s hoping.) I’ve definitely rolled around in my sleep while drunk before. Still, I never thought I’d have to do a walk of shame in another realm. My heart pounds as I look around, trying to figure out who I spent the night with. (Did I somehow manage to book a room for myself? With what coin?) (It’s like everything that happened since I got here caught up to me all at once. What did I do...?) ---- “What was that?” (A tattoo? It was a gorgeous one, if so.) (The question is, how acquainted did I become with that tattoo last night?) The rumbled bedding comes back into view as I put my head in my hands. “Maybe we just crashed here together after our drink.” “...” (Pitiful excuse, but I’ll take it for now.) (Wait, Robin! Oh god. I have to go find him.) I run out of the room as soon as I remember. Given how little of the situation I remember, it’s probably better if we put that night behind us. ---- Sirius: “Alas. She has absconded.”
Then after she leaves, it goes about the same in both versions. She finds Robin at the gates, is rushing to Toa’s class, gets stopped by Jasper. His voice reminds her of Sirius. He then teases her for being late and is like “You said you were going to go back to your room last night, but it seems like you went out and had fun instead.” and she snaps at him and says she didn’t. He acts surprised. She apologizes and walks off, embarrassed. He laughs.
So. Yeah. One of them, MC wakes up confused after being drugged and raped and is trying to process that and then remembers Robin, runs back to the dorms, and has to deal with Jasper teasing her saying she went out and had “fun” which triggers extremely fresh, bad memories. While the other one...MC is like. Did I hook up with someone?? Whoopsies! Hm, I wonder how I did that. Oh but that Sirius guy was SO hot. Oh shit! I have a cat that’s missing! Gotta go. And then Jasper teases her but she just gets upset because she feels embarrassed about hooking up with someone. Neat. Also, what is with Voltage and their obsession with using “abscond”???
----
Are you feeling uncomfortable right now? A little horrified that Voltage would write a story like that, and romanticize it? Awesome! Me too! Let’s take a break here before moving on. Thankfully, the next parts won’t contain anything near as triggering as the first interlude and chapter 9. 
(Next post currently in progress, will add link as soon as possible! This is taking much longer than I thought it would to write;;;)
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