hi everyone! just a little update from my side.

i've finally finished my exams, which means i am finally done with high school and therefore have no work for a little while!! i will be using this time to focus on my many pending fics (i am hoping to get the teaser for my changmin fic out very soon) and i will continue to leave my requests open for a bit so please keep sending them in <3

i do still have things to do so this unfortunately doesn't mean i will be on here always, but it will definitely be more often than i have been these past couple of months. with summer break starting in two weeks, i hope to grind out all of my fics because after i start uni this fall, i will not have as much time as i did these past couple of years to focus on my writing. however, i do not plan on leaving this blog or my writing anytime soon. just as it is now, my writing will be sporadic but still present, so please look forward to everything i will be putting out in the near future!

and lastly, thank you for the constant support on this blog <3 even if you are a silent reader or a very interactive one, i appreciate you very much and please know that your presence is the very reason i am on this website writing! thank u to all my mutuals as well, i am definitely the most awkward person on the planet and incredibly un-interactive but somehow i have friends on here that are willing to spam my inbox.

i know my posts and blog can often seem less inviting (seriously, this post was so formal and for what) and i am really sorry about that. i mention it often but i am very shy and hesitant to interact first and it's not because i don't want to, but simply because i am not that socially intelligent (aka extroverted). please please do send me asks (i prefer asks over dms but those are open too) because i do love interacting but my brain does not let me make the first move 💔 i hope writing on here more often in the next couple of months will make me a friendlier blog to interact with!

some blog updates before i end this long post: i have plans to revamp the aesthetic of my layout (not too many major changes and no theme changes, just some more details and graphics) just to make things prettier and easier to access! i also updated my carrd and rules post because it's been awhile. my tbz masterlist is huge and i will hopefully find a way to make things easier to look at but no guarantees (and maybe more masterlists for other groups i write for but i'm kind of lazy lol). also i will be making a permanent taglist soon 🤞🤞 and lastly would anyone like a word tracker for my changmin fic (yes lily im stealing this from you)

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literally never call someone with a high iq genius it makes me want to kms i’m going to commit arson

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Mercs proposing hc?? So basic but Im literally one corny mf

The TF2 Mercs proposing to their partners

WARNING: Mild gore gifts because this is the Mercs we’re talking about here.

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Scout:

- Biggest panic attack of his fucking life. Has no idea how to function like a normal human being anymore. It was that feeling of being in love with somebody all over again and needing to tell them. What’s worse about this though is that marriage is a huge commitment. One that many aren’t ready for yet. What if you reject him and he messes this relationship up?

- Goes to Spy for comfort. In all honesty he’s just a very damaged little boy on the inside and scared that he is incapable of receiving unconditional love. The other Mercs catch him behind the base crying into Spy’s shoulder on the curb while Spy holds him. He’s telling Spy how much he loves you; and how terrified he is that you cannot return that same vow. Spy knows the feeling. “Shh, mon lapin.” Boy howdy Spy’s certainly grateful that Scout’s mom didn’t teach him a word of french.

- Spy has to shove Scout into your room to actually finally get him to do it. “Your idiot boyfriend has a few words for you, and apparently I have to be present or i’m certain he’ll break down crying again.” He says to you. While poor Scout curls up into a ball on the floor.

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Soldier:

- First of all, why him? Second of all, this is the type of guy to go all out and spend half the money he earned in mercenary work to get one of those “will you marry me Y/N?” banners hooked up to a plane. Complete with the pilot being ejected and the plane crashing nose first into a rock formation. Apparently that was 100% intentional because a bunch of confetti came out of the explosion. You don’t know if you should be horrified at the audacity, or head over heels.

- Brings you an entire necklace of ears. But that’s not all! For limited time only you can get one of soldiers’ severed heads that was purposely boiled and skull cut into the shape of a helmet! Great, right? “Wow, what type of animal is this?” You ask. “A DOG. PACKAGED WITH PURE, NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, PASTEURIZED AMERICAN GLORY!” well that’s not reassuring. “OOOHH SAAAAY CAAAAN YOU SEEE—“ Soldier immediately gets hit over the head by Heavy and knocked unconscious.

- After the initial silliness dies down you see adoration as you tend to his awful head wound. Maybe Heavy knocked the stupidity out of him? No. He’s still insane. Soldier grabs your wrist as you apply alcohol to his wound and squeezes your hand. “Somebody like me doesn’t deserve somebody like you.” He says. “Bullshit, Soldier.” You say, leaning in for a kiss.

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Demoman:

- He can only achieve this when drunk off his mind. Not to mention it arrives in the most unromantic way possible. But it doesn’t make you love him any less. He holds you close to him after a New Years party at the base and pats your back. “Jus’ so you know, you’d look mighty fine with a ring on your finger.” He flirts, getting incredibly physically affectionate. He makes sure never to cross your boundaries.

- “Me mum would kill me but fuck all. y’know? Old wench’s days are numbered anywae. We could live ina nice cottage by the sea.. If ya want wee lil’ bastards I’ll actually take care of em. I’d have to stop me drinkin tho.” He says, pecking your neck. His remaining eye is pleading with you to say yes. “Pleaaase?”

- Has no recollection of these events in the morning so imagine his dumbfounded expression when one of the Mercs asks about his new fiancé. Cue the embarrassment mixed with pride and excitement.

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Engineer:

- Will 100% go to your window in the dead of night and sing a song for you on his guitar. Particularly I imagine this would be the contender. You have no idea this is even a marriage proposal. You just think he’s being incredibly sappy. Imagine the surprise while mid song he pulls out a small box and throws it up and down recklessly like a baseball. You’re slowly beginning to catch on as he opens it with his free fingers after finishing the song.

- Complete overconfident show off. He pep-talked himself before all this and rehearsed his performance repeatedly. By using the wrangler and effortlessly throwing the box up in the air and propelling it forward with a single bullet, the sentry successfully aided in getting the box up to you. You don’t even know how you managed to catch it, to be honest.

- Tips his hardhat to you. “Whadda say? Marry me?” He can barely contain his smile. Both excited and somewhat relieved he pulled that off.

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Heavy:

- “Heavy made you dead person crown..” He walks into your room one day and puts it on your head. It’s a bunch of severed ears meant to resemble a flower crown. “Hey, thanks big guy.” You’re grateful for the gift, being a crazed Merc yourself is it really any surprise? You give him a huge kiss on the cheek. Heavy looks thrilled that you accepted his gift. Which is very much unlike him. Usually he’s reserved. Maybe he’s just having a good day?

- Well.. you eventually find out why. That was apparently his way of proposing to you. Soldier nudges you the next morning and teases you for being engaged to Heavy. You’re horrified to say the least. You had no idea this meant marriage. Not that you wouldn’t marry him. But what about his gun Sasha? Wouldn’t she feel jealous? You’ve been with Heavy so long you keep referring to that damn thing as a person.

- Immediately upon seeing you; goes up to you and gives you a list of stuff he wants at this wedding. There’s even a blank page for you to write your own needs. He seems oddly motivated to plan this out months before it actually happens. There is countless mentions of Russian authors he wants to attend the wedding. As if they’d ever consider going to a stranger’s wedding. “If they won’t come then Heavy will crush them..” He says. Same goes for your guests.

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Pyro:

- Wow.. Kind of the most normal out of all of them. For the most part. If TF2 took place in modern day they’d propose with a ringpop but all they have is a bag of candy and an actual ring (That they may or may not have stolen from someone in Tuefort.)

- They get on their knees and offer the ring to you in an extremely professional manner. It’s quite surreal to see Pyro pull off something so domestic and normal when he’s always destroying stuff with fire. In fact this is a little too normal.. This is Team Fortress we’re talking about here. Shouldn’t something be wacky happening right about now? It’s like the perfect opening for slapstick. Through your cries of love and laughter you begin to feel anxious at the back of your head.

- Yup.. There it is. Pyro tells you that Scout offered to be the ‘Ring bear’ for the wedding. There’s Scout dressed up in a cutesy teddy bear costume. You’re certain that’s not how it works. “Just for the record, if you tell anybody about this, I’ll fuckin’ saw off both your knees boston sandwich style. Capeesh?” He says. You have no idea what that means so you quickly agree.

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Sniper:

- Afraid he’s going to mess it up, much like Scout. Gets incredibly physically ill as a result from stress and isolates himself in his camper van. You’re convinced he wants to tell you something but you have no idea what it is. One day on the frontlines an arrow narrowly misses your face and embeds itself into the wall next to you. You were about to turn around and bombard Sniper until you saw the note attached to it. “Pardon, Will you marry me? -Sniper.” With a very worried sad face drawn next to the note. He even bothered to draw his hat on it.

- Disbelief clouds your face at first. Sniper? Marry another Merc? You’re in shock. This isn’t something you’d ever suspect from a guy like him. But your initial thought makes way for an uncontrollable smile.

- He literally will not approach you first after this. You have to knock on his camper van because god knows he won’t be even able to face his team for months. As you jump into his arms and kiss him he immediately pulls you inside to love on you in private.

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Medic:

- WOULD RATHER SHOOT HIMSELF

- Just kidding. But he wishes he were dead right now. How could he do something so… Un-mad-sciencey? Marriage is just a concept brought upon by money hungry people. It only exists within the mind… Yet, that’s how he feels. An eternal vow to you is something he wishes to do. He’s already planned to make you a god alongside him once the time came so you could be his beloved consort forever. It reminded him of the greek story of soulmates.

- Gets a little fruitier than usual. The most feminine moan you ever heard left this man’s body as you brushed against him while trying to help him grab a syringe he dropped. This man gets unusually hornier and that’s how you know something’s up.. “Looking up my skirt, I see!” He says, as you glance up his long lab coat. There isn’t anything there but his pants so you roll your eyes. “Ah yes.. “ You respond. You decide he’s just clingy and horny as usual and carry about your assistance. You’re not in the mood for that. He never even bottoms so he’s feigning it anyway.

- “Err—Uh— Ho! Wouldn’t it be just shameful if I knew what was going on inside your head?” He asks. “Alright, i’ll bite. What are you saying, Doc?” You sigh. He fixes his glasses back up on his face thoughtfully. “One body, one mind. That would be quite intriguing don’t you think? If we were to.. Become one.” He placed an odd amount of emphasis on that, as if the thought was simply music to his ears. Lord he’s creepy. Medic grabs you and holds you close to him. “Think of the possibilities. We’d never be lonely again. I could stitch our bodies together and we could feel each other’s essence. Forever.”

- “Medic, you good?” You ask. Although his words were strangely flattering nonetheless in their own way. You smile at him. He seems to be lost in the idea. Fantasies of being with you for eternity flood his head. Particularly ones where you’re both a weird hybrid god. Weirdest marriage proposal world record goes to Medic.

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Spy:

- No, no no no no no. He can’t do this again. Marriage never worked out for him. After losing Scout’s mom and many partners that followed, he couldn’t bare hurting somebody like that again. His job always got in the way of what he truly desired but he had to live with it. This life chose him after all. His hand was forced into this position. Seeing your bright smile for the rest of his days was all he ever wanted. His urges to get up and say something to you were too strong.

- Has to metaphorically slap himself in the face and remind himself to act like a fucking adult. He wasn’t a little rambunctious teenager in Paris anymore. Yet he felt like one whenever he saw you. Such boyish feelings for an old put together gentleman like him. Spy decided to trust you and himself. But if something went wrong he wouldn’t hesitate to jump off a fucking cliff. Spy would stare at his reflection in the bathroom mirror for hours and contemplate his decision before making it.

- He proposes to you under a starry moonlit night. Not even bothering to kneel down, he slides the box across the balcony to you. “Well?” he asks, taking a long drag of his cigarette. His eyes fixated on the horizon. “Do I have to say it?” He asks. “Yes..” You tell him. Your eyes gleaming with joy. You never felt happier in your entire life. “Fine.. Will you marry m—“ He couldn’t even finish before you jump on him, ultimately knocking you both down.

Online aesthetics and the effects of social media trends

Let's talk about this.

How it can affect young teenagers

Open Tiktok or Instagram and everything on my For You Page now shows "How to achieve a Clean Girl Aesthetic"', "Old Money Aesthetic Hairstyles", "Cottagecore Hobbies", "How to be a Femme Fatale"

It never ends. Trends keep popping up left and right and it's inescapable.

As a young, impressionable teenager, I was, of course, naturally going to be influenced by these ever-changing trends. I'd constantly change my room aesthetic, buy new clothes, and I was never satisfied with my appearance. Why? Because I didn't look like the girls on screen.

News flash. You're never going to look like them. All that content they produce which gets 100k likes is done with excessive attention to detail, expensive lighting and sound equipment, and top-notch editing software. OF COURSE, you can't look like that. It's completely manufactured. It's heartbreaking to see young girls develop body image issues because of the constant bombarding of these "aesthetics" which are basically different beauty standards and stereotypes all wrapped up in a neat little package that is labelled "personality and style". I don't have anything against the concepts of aesthetics. I love how Dark and Light Academia is centred around learning, and how Cottagecore is all about relaxation and not conforming to being part of a 9-5 and just living life. I like how the Clean Girl is focused on being healthy and productive. What I don't like is how all these healthy things, which normal functioning humans should be doing are now turned into "trends" and you must "choose" between them.

Why it's so harmful

Fashion: Since aesthetics keep changing, you're going to find multiple that appeal to you. What happens when you discover you really like cottagecore, but your closet is filled with dark academia tweed? You turn to fast fashion. It's cheap and stylish. But it's horrible for the environment and that floral dress you're wearing was made by a woman in a sweatshop in Bangladesh, while fashion giants like Shein pocket the money.

Makeup: It's always there. Always. You cannot find a "how-to" post regarding aesthetics and makeup is not included. Its always how much blush to apply, why mascara is your best friend, blah blah blah. You know what I want to see? An aesthetic which promotes a clean, fresh face. I do wear makeup, not saying I'm perfect(yes, I wear lip tint and sometimes eyeliner), but it's the ridiculous notion that there's a specific makeup look for each aesthetic, and they say it's not very heavy, but really is concealer, foundation, blush, mascara and lipgloss light makeup?

Other: Then comes the things you should own, the bags, the shoes, the jewellery, the house decor. Did you notice to achieve the look, we're spending money bit by bit? Then you don't even realise it's made a dent in your savings.

Mentality: I hate this part about aesthetics so much. A while ago, I was really interested in Dark Academia and how it was centred around learning and studying. But everything was gloomy and dark and said I should be tired and bitter to achieve this. I'm not a serious person by nature in the first place, but here were blogs telling me to be "mysterious" and how I should be getting only 4 hours of sleep to be true Dark Academia? What is this dystopia? There's this weird obsession with how someone should behave if they like an aesthetic.

Online trends are all consumerism based. It's all to get you to blow your money on things that don't even benefit you.

There's a reason I never include and never will include tags like #clean girl or #pink pilates princess in my posts because it sort of reduces you to a certain aspect. Why confine yourself to these barriers? Wear what you want. Read what you like. The one "aesthetic" I believe in, is "that girl" which in reality is different for everyone, but boils down to being educated, well-mannered, and considerate. I will make a post on this. Being educated and kind is such a flex, not wearing one flowy white dress and "thinking" you're in a meadow. Break out of the pattern of being influenced by algorithms. Don't restrict your identity because of FOMO and the urge to be trendy. You've got this.

<3

why is it an important point that alan is very light sensitive and prone to migranes? other than being a disability rep for those of us who cannot function in broad daylight without sunglasses and explaining why the bright lights in aw1 are such a pain to look at (from alan's point of view) but like. it's important.

we see it in the flashback with alice where alan is hangover and seemingly has his sunglasses next to his bed already - a little weird right? and alice mentions them as well - because this is common. because he often needs them. frankly speaking from experience you don't get to the point where the sunglasses become a mandatory bedside fixture unless it's a really bad day often - which must be the case here. we also see then in 'herald of darkness' where "Dark shades could never save the day" and we see alan in shades. it's common for him. he does it often. mood! anyway mr champion of light being sensitive to light is just a funny coincidence right? wrong.

I also suspect that alan's tendency towards full outfits is also a part of this. no sane human wears that many layers in september, and alan specifically covers pretty much all the skin possible without looking weird.  also a lot of his article shots in rose'.... shrine have sunglasses and thick layers as well. this man is SENSITIVE sensitive to light and that's a coincidence I can't ignore in the remedy!verse.

alan was born (as stated in aw2) in 1977 - we don't know when, or where as he moved to new york later. his mother spent most of his childhood in psychiatric facilities, and his father is not only non existent but highly suspiously fictional (the only object we are told alan has of him is the clicker. the fucking clicker. tom zane's clicker that was definitely written into alan's life before he was born and was not a gift from his father proper. frankly we know the least about alan's childhood compared to all other remedy!verse protags - not knowing where or truly when he was born is important because it leaves options.

Light sensitive could be a coincidence - but we thought that about the nightmares too, and they turned out to be important clues. and hell-  *Scratch* is less sensitive to light than Alan is - only flashbangs and the super steong hand flares make him flinch, direct light seems fine unless super powered and normal flares are nothing. alan actively gets headaches from these things and obviously it hurts him. wtf is up with that? when the protection of the dark presence patches up your weakness you have a issue.

theory time:

we know alan is tied to this god damn lake. zane wrote it so - at very least alan was destined to fall in it at the end of aw1. but what if there is more? we also know that alan's darkness became at least the aw2 dark presence which. fine? an endless cycle of destroying yourself while under the impression that that's not yourself. we don't know if the dark presence in aw1 is also this same one, and if it isn't we now know there can be multiple dark entites (implied by Mr Scratch also). if it is then damn alan has issues.

I don't know if its just me but the fact that the small darkness within someone can be escalated out to being the whole larger dark presence at full power feels... off. that feels like it doesn't work with what we know of the entities- unless there was more darkness in alan then originally suspected fueling this presence. the strength of the dark presence born from him combined with the strength of his light sensitivity makes me very suspicious to how human he was originally, and how much of alan is just lake bullshit. if he was a creature or creation of the darkness forced into a human body (perhaps the 1976 awe the andersons fought back in brightfalls wasn't all it seemed. maybe the dark presence or something else was looking for a crack to escape through. maybe it succeeded, but was reborn as a human who was already showing signs at a young age of being light sensitive and also being a parautiltiarian, and a strong one at that.

maybe there was never a father because there was never a mother - linda wake may have found a child on the lake shore and adopted it as her own, not knowing the truth behind its origins. maybe the torchbearers who operated in brightfalls around that time were involved. maybe the reason alan and tom look identical is the dark entity needed human dna when being reborn as a human and zane was there at the right time. could be why other traits are shared, and zane foresaw and influenced the creation of the dark place to get what he wanted (after all it was borrowing from him his face and personality - at very least it could give him wiggle room to escape?)

alan always had... issues. darkness. a lot for a man. so what if its all supernatural bullshit? no one is looking too closely because there is supernatural stuff going on. I'm not sure this man is human, or at least his soul isn't and never was. some darkness wearing a human skin maybe, sensitive to the light but forced to manage it. I don't know, maybe I'm looking too much into this.

What do you think constitutes as a 'monster'? In the scary monster Halloween event mummies, vampires, werewolves, skeletons and dragons seem to be monsters but there was also the ghost pirate, so do ghosts constitute as monsters? Is 'monster' a term used for creatures that aren't part of the main four species (humans, fairies, merpeople, beastpeople)?

I honestly don't think what counts as "monster" and "non-monster" is a huge distinction to make, nor is it strongly defined in the world of Twisted Wonderland. I also don't think it's something as simple as "these specific 4 races are not monsters and anything outside of these 4 are monsters" because that's just a really arbitrary decision. The labels themselves (if this is the case) are also extremely unfair, as it implies negative things about the non-dominant species when they really haven't done anything to warrant it and can't control the population of their species to come "out" of that monster label. I think it's much more likely that what makes something a "monster" is how it compares to a human in terms of life functions. For many of the "monsters" listed (vampires, mummies, skeletons, ghosts, etc.), they have unnatural means of coming into existence. These creatures are not "born" like a normal living creature would be. Rather, they "turn" or are "made" somehow. In the case of the werewolf, they're also "unnatural" in a magical sense because people are not able to shift into different forms on their own. Even beastmen cannot just assume beast form; Jack's the exception due to his UM. Merfolk need to take a special potion to maintain their human forms, and can only shift in cases when they want to revert back to their merforms from their human forms. They'd need to take another transformation potion to gain legs again. Because a werewolf defies these constraints, that may be what makes them "monsters".

Finally, we come to dragons, which is a particularly special case. We learn that Malleus himself, being a dragon fae, has ancestors who are real dragons. We also learn that beastmen are descended from real animals, and, from this, can probably also deduce that merfolk are also descended from various sea creatures. For this reason, some fae, beastmen, and merfolk are "monstrous" in some regard. However, the label "monster" is seen as derogatory, and is meant to be clearly distinct from just "animal" (see: Malleus's reaction to Rook saying he is "more monster than animal" in Rook's PE vignette). Therefore, beastmen and merfolk are off the hook for this discussion, since their ancestors are animals and not "monsters".

I also considered intelligence being a factor for the monster/non-monster distinction, but that doesn't seem to hold up when you consider that Phantoms and Grim are also called monsters or beasts. Buuut there are cases of intelligent Phantoms, and Grim himself is capable of human speech which is incredibly remarkable. We also don't know enough details about dragons themselves to know if they are "wild" and incapable of human speech. The one thing I could say about dragons that makes them different from humans (and thus fit into my earlier proposal) is that they probably produce eggs that have to be incubated to hatch (similar to chickens, I guess??), if Malleus's birth is anything to go off of. This creates a distinction between human reproduction and dragon reproduction--and since Malleus and other dragon fae have elements of both, it supports the idea that it can be difficult to reconcile with one's humanity vs being seen as something inhuman from the start. This could explain why Malleus takes such offense when Rook comments in the vignette I indicated: it's questioning his humanity.

Welcome to the World! : A Starting Guide for Alters

This guide's purpose is to help either new formed/split, or those recently risen from dormancy, or the unregistered/unrecognized alters to get one step closer to functioning at the outside world!

It'll be one long rundown, click below to start right away, see you on the flip side.

From here on, what will be mentioned are things to assess some potential problems, questions, and self-discovery prompts. It is recommended to follow the flow of the guide, but if you necessarily need to skim to a certain section, this table of contents will help you:

table of contents

The beginning - Introduction

Things to look out for - potential problems to assess - Mobility - Gender & Species unalignment - World confusion

Starters - self discovery questions

How a system works - lite educative version

Closing - last notes + extra materials

The beginning

Nice to see you here, in the flip side! Now i know you have lots of questions on hand right now, and why you might be reading this as first thing's first; it's because i am here to help prepare yourself in many different aspects that cannot be learnt/figured out in such a short amount of time unless it is assisted with an experienced person.

If you haven't know what's going on up to this point, along with the kind of situation you're in, first off, you're a system.

Yes, thats right, system is a word for a collection of many parts within one body and you are also a part of it. This can mean you'll hear other kinds of accent inside head, and feeling + liking fully different things, as well as possessing different levels of certain skills and memory. More or less, this belongs to the qualities of a Complex Dissociative Disorder,, where there are types like DID, OSDD, Polyfragmented, etc.

This happens because of how dissociation can wall up barriers between other facets of yourself that stops some level of communication or complete it's integration when bad things happen in early years, leaving them mainly separated and self-autonomous; they're known as 'alters' but i personally love calling them as 'parts' or some might go with words like 'headmates' or 'facets' or even 'members'.

This isn't enough to explain the disorder itself, but i hope it suffices in explaining your situation! Feel free to check some extra system details if your gang has one, let's get to the next section.

Things to look out for

Just a quick warning and a reminder, if you are rather new or have not been actively out,, there is a high chance of having issues with limb coordination, control, and balancing. Other than that, the off-putting sensations you feel such as wrong type of species, height, gender, or even the world being foreign from how you perceive it can make things scary and overwhelming.

Fear not, as i also have the solutions for all these:

Handling poor mobility: First off, take a good moment to recognize your length of the arms, legs, learn the shape of your palm and fingers, and to every corners of your body. Start holding some simple objects like mugs or pens, remember how it feels to grab something with your fingers and gauge your grip strength, experimenting when you squeeze or loosen it. Then start interacting with the objects with both your hands, attempt to twirl it, or hold it in different positions and turns. You can also go for a test walk and sway all your joints to get a better picture of your movement range, practice makes perfect in easing your balance and momentum, it is normal to stub or be wobbly or clumsy at first, so take it easy okay?

To manage unalignment: It is hard to feel comfy if it is not the right height, especially for non-human aligned parts, so using props or any equipment or accessories can give you some sense of comfort (you can even walk on toes if you do need to feel a bit more tall, but don't over do this). Since fully eradicating this is impossible, doing anything in your power to lessen the discomfort is the best thing you can do,, there are also phantom limbs which basically means the extra body parts you identify with does not exist. This can be remedied by applying some gentle pressure to think that it is attached to your main body or use your imagination to satisfy that missing limb. for those not being aligned with the gender, if the body is feminine but you are masculine; try investing or search for a binder. If a binder is out of reach, wearing oversized, or baggy clothes, or hoodies will do the trick. And a boyish clothing style and short hair style if possible too. If its masculine in a feminine instead, using more girly oriented clothing style and do your nails, or any activities that affirms feminine aligned gender. I am very sure there are silicon chest pads but not in terms of where it is being sold at, so try to find them if it's available in your area. When neither and is androgynous instead, try searching for gender neutral clothes that are also neutral colored like grey/black/brown. There are many inspirations of this type of fashion so use the internet to gain inspirations on making your own androgyny look, you could even use make up to contour your shape of face. Now, for the ones who walk in hind-legs, get some platform heels/shoes/sandals/boots. You can find a flat one or the slanted one to match your needs. The idea is the slanted part of the shoe and the thick base gives an impression of canine/feline foot balance and for those who have hooves, respectively. (honestly, paw printed socks will do too, i hope) Lastly, to manage claws, or fangs, try using fake nail art of your color, or attach a fake vampire teeth guard, respectively. For symbolic means, you can even consume foods that are juicy and red, like meat cooked in medium,, or if you want the more vegan option: watermelons, or gummy that represents meat or grubs or just by being red to represent blood.

Getting used to the world Start learning how technology works--phone, laptop, kitchen tools, vehicle if any, and anything else that are often used. Make sure you practice enough to easily operate them, and learn how to use the internet and helpful plural apps or websites such as Lighthouse or start using Simply Plural. Try many foods to enhance culinary awareness, identify lots of other objects and the geography of your area to navigate and understand better. Touch many kinds of materials to train your sensory processes. You could also invest in watching shows and try a variety amount of activities to deepen your understanding of life. Explore different kinds of subject that you are particularly interested on, and lastly, never be afraid to do and try new things! This will guarantee you to seamlessly function with anything the world has to offer.

For starters - Self Discovery

Do you have a name?

do you what's your age?

What's your gender?

What are your pronouns?

Do you remember anything, and how much?

Do you seem to retain some past knowledge?

Can you describe what you look like? (Includes species)

Do you find the outside world familiar or foreign?

Can you state your bio name, family, or any important info?

Is it possible to describe yourself identity/vibe wise? (crucial part to tell apart fragments from splits and from holders that do not embody a personality)

What role could you fit as? (a host, protector, etc. Search for alter roles)

Do you like the outside world? Will you have a chance of being out more often? (to gauge how often one will front)

Have any likes and dislikes or preferences/hobbies?

For the bullet points you couldn't answer, take this as a sign to start searching! It will take some time, but you can ask help from anyone and even me when needed.

How a system works

A system works in communication (be it internal or external) and switches that also often have a specific trigger to call out someone else. Sometimes, though not a must, will have an innerworld that facilitates as a place for everyone to meet and interact.

These things are crucial for cooperation, because you'll definitely need that in order to navigate the world and adapt accordingly.

Communication

There are many kinds of communication styles, sometimes a mix of some or have all of the above,, whatever style you have, make sure to use it to the maximum. There are: via images, via abstract vibes, via emotions, or via direct (verbal) internal thoughts. Some do not have any internal communication, so external ones would be things such as keeping notes or write in a diary or any app for text editing.

Keep in mind that the clarity of communication fluctuates due to various factors, stress as one of them. So it is important to know that it will not work in a constant 100% at all times, use this awareness to strategize if, somehow, you have lost contact with the others.

Trigger & Switches

It is something that elicits a feeling that belongs to a part, which in return, can 'wake' or call one to co-con or front. There are negative and positive charged triggers, and i suggest you to explore what are your potential triggers.

The relationship with trigger and switches is, depending on how strong it is, can cause a switch to happen, where you will be swapped out by another one who got 'called' upon. This mechanism is for adapting to different kinds of situations, and these certain triggers are the key to ensuring the right part handle it's respective job as needed.

Switches can be very subtle, or slow, or obvious, or in a snap. This fully depends on how your system is made to handle problems on hand or when in stress, as sometimes it can cause rapid-switching, or the opposite, being stuck or locked in front. Sometimes, they also cause physical symptoms.

System terms - Basics

Fronting - the alter who has full control of the body, and performing tasks. Co-front - the alter, who have awareness between the outside and inside world, as well as able to control the body though not as complete as the fronter. Co-conscious - the alter who have awareness of the outside world, and spectates, and does not have any direct control of the body. Passive influence - when an alter's specific traits or likes/dislikes leaked to others and/or at front, that changes the initial reaction to be more blended with the other one. E.g. A like fries, B is there and likes spicy sauces. So now, A is craving to eat the fries with something spicy, even if A has no interest when it comes to spiciness or sauce.

For closing

Practice makes perfect, this is everything you need to know to hone your knowledge before finally stepping outside with complete freedom, where you can start anywhere you'd like, and to resume your collective's path to functionality and well-being. It's okay if things didn't go well at first try, and remember to reach out to people who you could trust as it'll help you progress faster!

I am aware that this guide still have a lot of room for improvement, so any requests or feedback will be added here for future viewers! This guide will be subjected to constant updates with even more sections being discussed on, or added touch of details. I will also add on my own posts here to serve as additional knowledge that is related to this topic:

Types of amnesia

Are you a Shard, Fragment, or Alter

Types of subsystems

Front-stuck, and how to deal with it

Physical switches

Comorbidity

Being blurry

Starters to system foundations

How comorbidity affects plurals (ADHD & Autism)

Dealing with the sense of faking

The person who needs to give their back a break, - j

1. The Roud Folk Song Index lists it as the 39th Child Ballad. Comparisons to be made to Type 425 in the Aarne-Thompson-Uther Index, under the entry “The Search for the Lost Husband.” TvTropes.com has more to say on the page titled “Shapeshifting Lover.” A story iterated upon in many forms. A young woman, almost always a woman, sometimes virginal, is wedded, or falls in love with, or is taken away by a man under some sort of curse. He is horse. Or a lindworm. Or a wolf. Sometimes only at night. Sometimes only when the fairies who cursed him make him so. He is a Beast, she must undo whatever evil makes him so, normally through a kiss, true love, wedding him, or, in some of the less sanitized versions, simply sex. 1. The first time they hooked up he cried afterwords, which she didn’t understand at the time. They were sophomores in college. It wasn’t her first time. It should have been casual. It was up until he cried in the morning. She felt so bad that she suggested they get breakfast together, when she had simply meant to leave. At breakfast he calmed, he talked about his life. Quiet, nerdy, hiding in his hoodie. There was something vulnerable there, and she liked it. She gave him her number after. 2. Later thinkers and writers have revisited this trope. Sometimes it is played straight, depicted on the screen by Disney. Sometimes this is (falsely I would argue) called Stockholm Syndrome. Sometimes this is, it must be said, simply used for purposes of sex and titillation. I think, however, that the continued persistence of this motif in media, it’s emotional resonance, demands further explication of its longevity. What about this appeals to us in the modern day, when we (ideally) can no longer ascribe to it a moral of young women being forced to accept arranged marriages? 2. They’re a few months into their time dating, after long arguments about that label, when the crying returns. This time no longer after sex, but she feels the emotion is the same. You should leave me, he says. Break up. You should do it now before I hurt you, he says. And she, not wanting to point out that she is bigger and stronger than he is, gently asks why he says something like that? In there time together he has been nothing if not careful. Thoughtful. Kind. One of the most soft and charming people she knows. He cannot explain it in any satisfying way. He simply insists that there is something dark inside him. Something he has sought to deny far too long, and will not be able to deny forever. That if she stays she will be hurt, simply as a function of loving him. He will one day lose the fight against himself. She does not know what to do but hold him. 3. I think some of the appeal of this trope can be found in reference to another motif of our pop cultural mythos. That of the werewolf. We are used to seeing werewolves depicted from the viewpoint of the hunted. But there is perpetually the question of what such a transformation looks like from the viewpoint of the animal itself. A human transforming into a beast demands of a human audience that we consider what it must be like to monster. To be capable of hurting those we love. And yet, I at least wonder, if we are capable of hurting those loved ones, do we not still hope that they will love us as we transform? As we become different, monstrous in shape and utterly unknown even to them? 3. They graduate. Together. Move into an apartment above a Taiwanese restaurant. She gets a shitty job that has health insurance for them both. He does commission from home. It’s not perfect. There is some part of him he never shares and she does her best to make peace with that. To accept that wherever his mind goes when he is watching her put on a dress, do her make up, whatever he ponders while watching the women passing by the street outside, or after they have sex, that is something he has chosen not to share. But instead they share popcorn. And bills. And shitty inside jokes. And that time they got accidentally drunk at his mothers remarriage to Craig (fucking Craig amiright?) and got found by the staff of the hotel whose ballroom she had rented, having passed out near the punch bowl. It’s a life. It’s their life. She tries to give him space within it. 4. Consider again the Ballad of Tam Lin. The idea of Janet in the woods, holding onto her lover as wicked fairies transform him. To something ice cold. To something burning hot. To a horrible slimed thing writhing in her embrace. To a snarling wolf-monster, a beast of wicked claws and gnashing teeth. Who has, at one time or another, when circumstances reveal that which we keep hidden, felt like that? 4. She gets home unexpectedly early one spring afternoon in her late twenties. Janet from accounting somehow set fire to a microwave, which set off the sprinklers, and no one could get anything done that day. A small treat, and it validates her admittedly flash-judgment of Janet. And as she unlocks the door, flowers in hand, she finds him in front of the closet they share, and understands the secret that has been kept from her for almost a decade. 5. And then of course, the tales and legends end. Normally in the curse being lifted, the lover being returned to normal. Beast is a beast no more, the Lindworm is again a prince, Tam Lin may leave the woods a man. A simple ending to a simple story. But for us living in reality? Outside of the tidy constraints of fiction? Perhaps there is no ending. Perhaps we remain a beast, remain a wolf, remain cursed, and monstrous and strange. Perhaps we endlessly transform into new, and more twisted shapes, and have only hope that our loves will hold us nonetheless. That even if we become something that may hurt them, something they may not understand, they will still love us. 5. It is hard. It would be nice to say there are not challenges. She always thought she was bi, but the label of straight was easy, and she never had to examine it when she was with him. She keeps on stealing her dresses. There are good times too. Times where she looks at this woman still becoming, someone she had loved for a decade and still barely knows, and sees how brightly she smiles, and feels so proud. But it is above all else hard. The crying does not go away. Estrogen works wonders, but cannot stop dysphoria, and hurt, and pain. It is hard to love her. But she is trying. And when the fights over labels and new boundaries and shifting emotions break out, or the dread comes, or the weeping, she does what she can. She holds her partner, no matter the form she takes.

"Feral" Tropes

For Clarity: I have written pretty much every single trope on this list at some point or another myself.

(Yes, including extremely ill-advised arson, non-verbal and illiterate Link, needs help with his hair, and spends weeks in blood-stained clothes.)

These can be funny tropes, dark tropes, ironic tropes, heartfelt tropes, and cathartic tropes.

[Art of my Minish Cap Link, by @l3ominor]

Why do people find “Feral” link so polarizing, then?

I’m gonna go over what makes a fantasy, character agency (or deliberate lack thereof), and – because I’m AO3 trash forever, and because I think it’s the most useful thing here – tagging.

It's also like 2000 words, whoops.

I’m using “feral” here to say that Link is positioned as either failing to adhere to expected social norms, or positioned as outside them. Social norms are part of civilization: a structure of rules and expectations that are positioned as the “height” of human social achievements. Meeting them makes you a good, normal person who is respectable and respected; failing them can make you anywhere from imperfect to exile to enemy.

“Civilized” is a moving target that’s defined by others. Anyone, at any time, can be constructed as a failure just because someone wants to do that. Similarly, other features – like slavery and war crimes – can be considered “civilized” because that’s just what the dominant power does. Being “civilized” isn’t inherently good; it’s also not inherently evil. Civilized social rules also include stuff like charity, hospitality, and similar social welfare stuff.

Basically both “Civilized” and “Feral” can mean whatever you want them to mean, but there are some common ways it goes wrong.

Again. I have written 90% of these in various ways. These are not inherently wrong; the frustration often arises from presentation and lack of clarity, which I’ll address below:

The first is infantilizing the character, creating them as helpless.

Wild can’t bathe himself and doesn't see the point in being clean; he doesn’t do anything with his hair. He’s so dumb he eats rocks; he'll eat too much or anything at all, and he has no objection to being treated like a child. He doesn’t know language or how to read or write. If transmale, he doesn't understand his period and thinks he's dying. He was literally raised by a wolf. He can't do anything right. It's presented as fair and just to pin him down to clean him, because he cannot do it himself.

The fact the wolf is supposedly Twilight, who should be striving to get him to other hylians is irrelevant. Real youth react to their period thinking they’re dying, but this is associated with literal children, particularly ones raised completely ignorant of their own bodies and of sex.

The second is othering them, treating them as antisocial.

Other people react badly to him; he has no manners, he smells; he never tells anyone what he's doing. He's afraid of other Hylians; he's indifferent to them, and wants nothing to do with them. He doesn't understand how to function in a group. He'll wander into a trap carelessly, and drag others with him in pursuit of something pointless.

In the case of Hyrule, he lives in a cave and this is strange, bizarre, and horrible, rather than a thing that is in the actual historical record and is a dry, temperature controlled and easily protected place to sleep.

The third is to make them dangerous, a savage thing.

He solves his problems by lighting things on fire, uncaring of the damage done. He bites and growls when upset. He'll kill a monster with his bare hands; he'll show up in town covered in blood and filth.

He's an abomination; he's literally not human at all.

IIII

Probably you read that list and had checkmarks going off in your head. I like that one; I don’t like that one. People never do that right; I’d handle this way better if only—

Good. It’s a fun list of things that can be good, if done to your taste.

A lot of these touch into disability tropes; some edge into racialization ones. A lot are dehumanizing. People have a lot of feelings about both, good and bad, and feeling your way through it by writing is normal, expected, and okay. You do not deserve to be punished for writing something “bad” while trying to understand what you like. Many of these fall under care-taking tropes: someone needs help, and they feel awkward asking so they just want someone to step in and “Fix it” without the humiliation of having to ask.

That’s fine. But if you want to change it up: let Link ask. Let him reach out. Let him initiate the help. There’s a very different feeling when someone pins Wild down to clean him, versus when Wild works up the courage to ask “Can you help me?”

Because yeah, brain damage is complicated. He could have just about any struggles you imagine, but what can be frustrating for others seeing this, over and over, is that he’s treated like a permanent child or an animal. He always will need taken care of; he always needs someone to step in. It is right and just to force him to submit to care against his will...

He never has anyone ask if they can help him, either.

How much sweeter can the care be when he’s willing? When he initiates? When he has agency in his own treatment? Because too many people who need help are not given that choice. Some readers are turned off because the force is all too real, and all too painful to see reflected in what they came to for escapism. One person’s care-taking fantasy, is another’s real life trauma.

Escaping society and it’s pressures is also a fantasy, one of independence and freedom all its own but again, a major feature here is choice. Does Wild have choice? Does Hyrule? Is this presented as of course they don’t belong, or as a reasoned decision, or as a result of being driven out by real violence from others?

All different stories. All different fantasies.

And being the agent of violence is a fantasy, too. “Burn it all down” is a valid emotion (I write variations on it myself, although not this one.) Think of “Kill Bill” and “Fury Road.”

But with an ostracized, feral Wild there is the reflection of real violence against the marginalized communities whenever they express frustration or rage at their treatment. The wrong person being dangerous can get them killed. Of course this is polarizing.

Ironically, this category includes the one trait that Wild displays in the Linked Universe comic that didn’t make the feral list: emotional dysregulation. He loses his temper; he lashes out. He gets upset and jumps the gun... but it’s not cute, it’s not pretty, it’s presented very well in canon (Warriors is frustrated with him, but not seriously angry.) But it doesn’t suit the feral take, because it’s too mild for the violent fantasies, and too adult and human for the innocent ones.

IIII

My first advice about writing this is to be more clear about your tags. Spoilers are always a thing people worry about, but some things can be improved with clarity, and conflict over “bad writing” is one of them. “Feral” Link can mean literally any combination of the above, but those are all wildly different things. Narrowing down what happens in your fic into more specific tropes will both help people who want to read what you write to find it, and help people who will be upset avoid it.

It just common courtesy. I tagged a recent fic “Drunk arguments”+ “Politics” because that argument could go a lot of ways. Someone who’ll read political nonsense may not read sex and may not read crack. It doesn’t say anything but the subject matter, and it doesn’t need to: the question of whether this will turn into politics or sex is a way to direct people in or away according to their taste.

Is this required? No. People make mistakes or have bad days or just don’t want to, and don’t deserve punishment for it. But it’s a tool at hand to filter your readership to better match you, one you shouldn’t disregard.

If you want to adjust how you write, frequently the aggravating factor is in the presence (or deliberate absence) of agency, and in evoking sympathy over pity. There’s also a way to balance traits in just like, the general sense of making the story more complex: nobody is one thing.

For an example from my own projects, I write my version of Minish Cap Link combined with the first Four Sword game. The second time he used the Four Sword changed him into something not-quite-human. But even prior to that, he was non-verbal and skittish; he bit and hissed, he has visible injuries on top of the later changes. I have two fics that present two different ways to frame much the same event: he gets upset and lashes out, and legitimately terrifies the people around him.

In one story, he is restrained. The people doing so are treated as villains for it; you see his fear and panic, and Zelda’s rage over his treatment. In the other, he is calmed by another of the Links, and even in an outside perspective it is made clear that Minish is reassured, relieved and desperate for comfort once his fear has passed – and he trusts the person who talked him down (who did not hurt him) to give it now. He doesn’t have to “behave” to be treated as human, but I also don’t have to make him act “normal” to do so: the framing of how he’s treated by others does it. He’s also clean, well-kept, polite, sweet when he’s calm, and playful.

Similarly, because I have multiple characters who are all non-verbal to varying degrees, I can get away with a lot of variety. I can make one a total bitch, and I don’t have to worry that he’s going to be “bad” representation because if people don’t want a bitchy non-verbal character to relate to, there’s two others to choose from. Balancing a “feral” trait with a mix of signals creatures a nuanced character that isn’t just a ball of Whump.

(Although again: nothing wrong with a ball of Whump if you’re in the mood for it. I have my balls of Whump fics, too.)

Some of the other weird things can be done as just misunderstandings: Is Link eating rocks because it’s polite to join the gorons? Did he realize he was weird and could eat rocks as a child and now does it to joke around? Does Hyrule get to be exasperated at the others pitying his cave? Letting the weird be weird but legitimate can be fun, or even funny: Hyrule lets the others sleep cold in tents while he’s warm inside.

Readers get tired of one-note characters no matter what they’re like. I’ve heard the same complaints about “Dad” Time as I’ve heard about “Feral” Wild, and about Twilight. The fix isn’t to throw out what you like; it’s to build it up into something more. It will never be to everyone’s taste, but you can have a dirty little gremlin who, no matter how inhuman they may seem, is still treated like a person.

Dehumanization is far too prevalent in the world right now, and a lot of us desperately need somewhere to escape it.

Now I’m gonna go write me some fluffy Wild asking for hair brushing. After spending all week chewing on this, it sounds like a fun challenge.

Hi, I was wondering if I could request Morpheus relationship headcanons with a cursed human s/o?

You were cursed. And not in the, why does this keep happening to me way. But properly fairytale cursed.

Dream first met you when he realized that you were still dreaming after far too long to be normal

Of course he investigated. And while he did enjoy the conversation the two of you shared he was worried by how he could not separate your mind from the Dreaming 

It’s not healthy for someone to live solely in dreams!

When he follows your subconscious to your body in the Waking he discovers that you cannot wake up. Trapped away from the world, and trapped inside your own body.

He decides to talk to you more while investigating how to break the curse. And slowly starts to fall in love with you.

You had been self isolating in a corner of the Dreaming, but Dream takes that time to show you around the rest of his realm. To convince you to stay at least near the place if not in it.

He delights in showing you the library, and how relaxed you are there is what convinces him to finally tell you about what he is trying to do in researching your curse

Slowly the idea of breaking the curse is less and less important to him in lue of spending time with you. The two of you quickly becoming a close couple

Before your first kiss he talks about how while he does want you to be able to return to the waking, he also doesn’t want to have you leave. He wants you to stay with him, but if you want him to continue looking into your curse he will.

You tell him it doesn’t matter to you before you press your lips against his. 

The moment you do- you wake up.

Both of you panic. Him as you are gone, fearful that you are a victim of being the mortal lover of an Endless even with your immortality as a part of your curse.

You panic as you have woken up somewhere you don’t recognize without Dream.

You cry yourself to sleep in a panic and the moment you are in the Dreaming you rush into a miserable Dreams arms in the rain.

He is shocked, his darling dreamer is returned to him.

It takes both of you some time to figure out that the curse is broken- by “true love's kiss” of all things

It’s a huge adjustment for both of you to get used to you no longer being cursed. You have no idea how to function in the Waking world, and Dream can only help you so much with that.

In the end, Dream asks Hob to help you adjust.

It takes time but once settled back into living in the Waking and only getting to be in the Dreaming when asleep the two of you go back into your close relationship as lovers.

Ok I've been thinking about this really hard and trying to understand it but I just can't wrap my head around it so maybe y'all can help.

We're told humans wanted to communicate with puppets, but didn't know how.

We're told Sophia had a special ability to communicate with puppets. So talking to puppets is not normal.

We know puppets with awakened egos can definitely understand humans, such as Pulcinella, Arlecchino, and Polendina, yet we never actually see these puppets communicating with humans directly, even those special to them. Like Polendina never actually speaks directly to Antonia, and we never see Pulcinella and Venigni having a conversation.

That being said, we also know that Pulcinella specifically has done like...research for Venigni. I think with the golden ergo? So...can they communicate freely with one another? Is it through writing? Or Venigni's decoder?? Or just like normal???

There's also puppets that were made specifically to serve humans like Polendina as a receptionist so we know humans can understand him if he chose to speak to them out of turn.

Yet all the other butler/maid/etc. puppets cannot be understood? Even though it seems to function properly as they were meant to, they would've had to have been understood by humans easily.

We know puppets can communicate with each other kind of like the internet using ergo wavelengths, this is mentioned when they talk about puppets gossiping with one another about what they hear as they were operating Krat's telephones.

There's also instances of human/puppet relationships, such as Toma and Murphy as friends, Venigni and Fuoco as coworkers, and Julian and Melody who were literally married.

P is shown to be able to talk to awakened puppets and humans, but cannot talk to puppets under the influence of the Frenzy and by extension, I'm assuming, the grand covenant, so does this mean the grand covenant specifically is blocking communication? Had it always been? Or is it just Frenzy-related?

Fuoco, Murphy, Romeo, etc., seem awakened but cannot talk to P as other awakened puppets do. Even though we're told, I think, that awakened puppets are no longer bound to the grand covenant? But Romeo confirms that he is, with a specific line of dialogue.

Oh! And Adelina says that Arlecchino trickered her by saying the opera house was a safe place for refuge. We know he was made pre-covenant. So does that mean he can talk to her because he's not under the covenant? Or because he is awakened? We know he told Venigni his name after he murdered his parents, too.

I'm just trying to understand the communication barriers, like, where the line is drawn, etc. Who can understand who? Who can communicate with who?

My general idea, I guess, is that all puppets can understand humans but maybe are stuck to using their typically operated lines of dialogue to reply back? Automatically, like computers would. And maybe when humans say things outside the usual commands--like, cook, sweep, play the piano, etc.--they simply do not understand, because they were not programmed to.

But when they are awakened, they can say anything they want. And they understand everything humans say even if it's outside their standard programming. But there seem to be exceptions to this...like Romeo.

I still don't understand why puppet language is garbled to P, though. Unless they're no longer capable of using their real voices due to the Frenzy? Maybe??? Help lol

i am winning the idgaf wars when it comes to the magnus protocol bruh.

i cannot get myself to be even remotely interested in this series. im listening out of obligation (number 1 tma fan), but i end up just waiting around for those 20 minutes to end with zero interest. for there to be a sequel to the magnus archives, a podcast with a fully rounded and complete elaborate storyline, it has to justify itself. to me, tmp doesn’t justify itself.

right now, tmp feels like someone going “oh! oh you liked THIS?? you liked THIS PART of tma??? well look at THIS!!!!! this is THAT!!!!!” and it completely flops at it every time. i won’t say its shit, i’ve liked certain episodes and i enjoy some of the characters, but side by side with tma…? come on

part of the beauty of tma is that every episode felt like you were slowly uncovering a plot with the mc. not only that, but characters were gradually introduced, and supplementals didn’t even have proper full character scenes/dialogues until s3, (a little in s2). then look at tmp. the first episode is random characters ive never heard of talking all at once, and this continues for every episode until the current one. i don’t care about any of these characters, and i feel no attachment or ‘riding along with the mc’ feeling with any of them. it feels like a random group of people sprinkled in amongst a vaguely tma-ish plot.

i also hate the attempt to INSTANTLY get into the ‘ooo big background mystery’ when there absolutely hasn’t even been enough context set for that to even matter to the listener. why do i care that gwen is getting promoted? why would any of this sinister secret plot matter to me when i barely understand the way that this institution functions normally? (which i don’t even know the name of, mind you).

you could easily say “but dan!! this will be SHORTER than tma!! its 3 seasons, not 5!!!” think about what was achieved in 3 seasons of tma. by season 3, jon was in his exploration era. he was meeting mike, jude, the monster hunters, gerry, nikola, sarah, he learned about the nature of the entities, we learnt about rituals, learnt that jon wasn’t fully human anymore, hell we even met peter, and we saw elias’ ass being sent to jail!

the pace of tmp is so fast when its plot already bears so little relevance to the listener, and it doesnt help that some of these episodes are, in complete honesty, poor. i find the writing of characters and the interactions between characters rather poor already as well.

im not trying to be harsh, but this is definitely nagging at me. ive been growing fairly irritated with tmp. feel free to disagree obviously, i can see why people would be fans. but it doesn’t hold a candle to tma. im trying reaaaally hard to give it a chance, but im growing more and more disappointed/underwhelmed by the day . pllbbttfhhh . 👎

(Oop I clicked the unfollow button instead of the ask one fnjklADfnmdlks)

Anyway!! When I'm doing A/B/O usually I'll have it where betas are obviously born as whatever sex they are and this never changes, but for afab alphas and amab omegas, I typically have them develop traits from the opposite sex during puberty. They will go into their first rut or heat respectively, which is the first initial influx of hormones, and the body only begins to change *after* that first rut/heat, hence why you can't determine their status at birth.

But that's beside the point- what I really wanted to say that I'm in love with the concept of the internal knots for afab alphas in your take on the AU. Normally I prefer afab alphas with a phallus and amab omegas with a pussy, but if I were to read anything where amab and afab omegas and alphas keep the bodies they're born with, then yours is probably the only one I would read. There's just something so delicious about Ghost being tied to Goose, who is offering him so much praise and affection and the poor guy can't get away or hide. He's probably bright red and trying to hide his face lmao.

OH ABSO- FREAKING -LUTELY

Gotta keep Ghost where he is so Goose can tell him all the wonderful things she loves about him, and rain praise down on him while he shudders and whines for her. Very good to make sure he can't go anywhere when she flips them over and grind against his lap to keep him gasping while she tells him what a good boy he is, what a perfect omega, how she's so sure he's gotten her pregnant with that last one(how she's going to take care of him and lover him for the rest of his life) while Ghost covers his eyes with his arm and avoids looking at her. Poor boy bright red in the face and incapable of doing anything but mumbling out thanks as he attempts to return just one(1) compliment.

I'm going to get a little into the politics of omegaverse, and why I structure my au the way I do under the cut.

I totally understand the appeal of afab alphas with phallus' and amab omegas with vaginas. I think my main argument(I guess) against that, is that it has always seemed to me to equate dominance/submission and societal roles with genitalia?

Now, the whole point of omegaverse originally is to have basically a built in dom/sub system in society and also mpreg. I get that, but listen. When I hear that afab alphas a "rare" or "uncommon" I cringe. It just feels very... like you're creating this world where endotype(a/b/o) matters more than gender and you're still saying afab folks are unable to fill the dominant societal role? This you is not you Grizz, it's like a general fandom you, I don't want to sound like I'm attacking you. Again I love an afab alpha with a phallus, best of both worlds in my mind. It's just something I notice.

Also with the sex characteristics reflecting endotype, it feels like a reduction of that endotype down to just the reproductive role it plays, and leaves betas with almost no defining characteristics. Beta has to have some evolutionary function or defining trait or they just wouldn't exist.

I break my understanding of omegaverse into "parts that must exist": knots, pheromones/hormones, heat/rut cycles, pack dynamics. Those are the four things that define it in my mind. The problem is that humans are so unable to stick to "being" any one thing. I cannot conceptualize a world in which every person of a certain endotype(or gender) acts the same way. I also just, as an afab person, never understood why omegas get all submissive and hazy when they're basically ovulating? Like I get aggressively horny, emphasis on aggressive. I have point blank grabbed my partner and told him "if you don't take your pants off right now-"(we had a good laugh about it afterwards don't worry). I love omegas as the dominant party, the initiators, and alphas as the worry warts that are desperately trying to keep up.

Maybe it's my gender studies minor coming out that I have so many questions about the inherent politics around omegaverse. Not the kink stuff, but just the way that authors conceptualize endotypes and leave afab alphas as this rarity or thing that must be made closer to amab alphas. I don't think it's a conscious choice to equate "alpha" with masculinity and "omega" with femininity, and I'm sure no one thinks about this as much as I do, but it's interesting to keep coming across it.

I think of a/b/o as a sliding scale of hormones similar to testosterone/estrogen. Where an excess of one hormone or another during puberty would cause certain traits to develop. An excess of the alpha hormone causes a knot to develop, an excess of the omega hormone would cause that neat little mate bite spot to develop. Betas would still have the hormone just in either a more even mix, or at lower levels. I feel like this also allows people to be trans-endotype, if you can supplement hormones for e/t why not a/o?

Also for ambiguous genitalia at birth, why not give it to betas too? Again it just always seemed weird to me that there were basically 2 species of humans: betas and Alphas/Omegas. Give everyone both parts. I want amab alphas with pussys. I want to destroy those men's cervix.

Anyway. I think the human experience is so varied and weird that endotypes would just make it even more varied and weird. And idk if anything I've said has made any sense, but if I wanted to make sense I wouldn't have destroyed my brain with fanfiction.

I know people are going "KISS HER!!! WHY DIDN'T THEY KISS!!!" about that imodna conversation, and I would have been extremely happy if they did! But I'm a little saddened because calling for that feels like it misses the explicit and incredibly queer message given by their relationship because it's looking for what's been defined in expectation to be love. It misses the power that exists in undefinition.

"It transcends words, our relationship."

"You are my strong foundation." "You're my tether."

"i love you so much." "i love you more than anything." They say this while they're hugging. They punctuate this incredibly heartfelt and world-defining love by holding onto each other tight like they'll never see each other again. Women who fight for the other and have saved each other again and again. This is love. This is a love confession.

It just doesn't end with a kiss.

There is an undeniable love and care. You cannot miss how devoted these women are to eachother. It’s simply a fact. But Laudna says it herself: their relationship is beyond definition. Beyond label. It is all encompassing, all surrounding, like being soulmates. And Laudna says it doesn't have a label, because their love just-- is. Not friendship, not dating, might not call it a QP, not a mere partnership, not anything but Laudna and Imogen. Just look at it. They don't NEED to kiss to tell you how much.

I will fully admit i'm greyroace with a tenuous understanding on love despite being in my own relationship: specifically the lines in the sand between platonic and romantic feelings and what either entail. There are SO many psychology theories on various typings that frankly the best conclusion you can come to is "love is love slashy-face :/" it's all a nebulous strange connection humans being make. Love is beyond definition because man fuck, what the hell are we talking about.

And yet, without understanding it, love is powerful. It's the connection that makes two people think about living away on a horse ranch together peacefully, the kind that makes them plunge into eachother's personal hells to lead them by the hand to sunlight. It's cuddling in the night while holding eachother's hands. And it's Laudna and Imogen's. They’ve said it outloud: they are the other's better half to a better whole, and more important than anything else. You can't deny that. And it’s so wonderful to see such an incredible relationship. It doesn’t NEED to have The Big Kiss as its overture.

A kiss is not the grand thing of a relationship; weirdly, a lot of writers tend to completely STOP the story at The Big Kiss and not be able to let the characters have a functional relationship. Laudna and Imogen are unbelievably intertwined, they LOVE EACHOTHER. There's no "will they won't they" tension or dancing around the idea of dating and being girlfrienda and the squee of hot goss (which i do still enjoy btw c2 was very fun for many reasons). They are so wholly comfortable in the other. Like the old type of love between long time married couples, the kind where it's so ingrained it's simply routine. Sometimes prone to insecurity and bumps (rocks.) but every relationship has that, and the great thing is that their other friendships are there to support them, just as important to rounding out their circles, unlike some stories that would sacrifice or flander them. for the sake of the love story. They're Imogen and Laudna, Laudna and Imogen, close with their friends but eachother most of all. Imodna IS canon. Its arc is just something that isn't about what we'd call the romance of it.

It feels like demanding they needed to kiss in order to officialize(?) their love enforces a strange binary that makes their relationship lesser and unrecognized as meaningful unless they engage in traditionally romantic gestures. It's the same societal allonormativity that places a false hierarchy on romantic versus platonic relationships, that dismisses "Do you really think we were meant for normal?" Laudna asks. Isn't that ambiguity and lack of definition what queerness is for?

If they kiss in the future I will be very very happy! If you make them fluster and awkward in ur funnie fictions go wild. But maybe I've just been recently fatigued with fan culture in general ignoring the beauty and complexity of various relationships and character stories because of this narrow idea often rooted in an overemphasis on shipping culture. Denying the value in the forest because it didn't have your specific tree.