#they were my first dose of heartbreak | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chuluoyi · 8 months

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heartbreak hotel

- gojo satoru x reader

so you're going on a three-day-two-night getaway trip with the one and only Gojo Satoru. the catch? you two have just broken up.

genre/warnings: crack, jealousy, a dose of pettiness, hurt/comfort, fluff, zero angst i promise, suguru being a good buddy to his boyfriend best friend

notes: inspired by a very real life story :))) anyways, it takes place in an au where suguru never left and all is well with our little meow meow catoru the wonderful colored manga panel by the talented @redbluenight! this was so much fun to write (that it turned into a whopping 3k+ word, so sorry) and i even made a playlist while on it ;)

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

"He's intolerable!"

There were many things that led to the end of your relationship with Gojo Satoru, but if asked one word to sum it, then that was it.

When you started this thing with him, obviously you had never planned on how it would end―who started a relationship with that sort of mindset anyway? But if you could choose, you definitely wouldn't want it to end with dramatic shouting match that left you in tears.

Anyways, some things were just not meant to be. You refused to spend your whole life crying over that smug bastard, and so you moved on.

However, if there's one thing you've learned about plans, it is that whenever you already make a foolproof one, the world always has some funny way to mess it up.

Like this time.

"I... I remembered saving for months," you stammered dumbly, staring blankly at Shoko in front of you. The realization felt like a spiritual ascent. "I paid for that damn plane ticket and hotel with my whole saving. I can't just throw them away."

How could you possibly forget about this? This graduation trip that had been planned between your group of Satoru, Suguru, Shoko and yourself for months now. It was meant to be a getaway, a celebration of your most significant achievement after four years of barely getting by on exorcising curses and not dying in the process. This was supposed to be the ultimate milestone celebration in your life.

"Then don't," Shoko replied simply, twisting the cigarette in her mouth. "I'm still going though. No way I'm wasting that money."

"But!" you vehemently hissed. "He will be there. It means I have to see him for three days straight!"

Your cringeworthy breakup happened just barely a week ago. You had sworn in front of Gojo Satoru that you didn't want to see his face again, and yet in less than a week from now, you and him would literally share the same space―again?

"Can't I get a refund?"

"This late? Nah, it's like yay or nay at this point."

You slumped in frustration. Were the gods making you swallow your own words now? You were left with no other choice. Your frugality and tendency to get broke often compelled you to make the decision.

You were going on this trip whether he was there or not.

Meanwhile, on his end, the said smug bastard was brooding, groaning and pacing over the same predicament. Satoru had two options and had weighed them all, and somehow he still arrived at the more seemingly no-good decision.

"I'm going, duh!"

"You are?" Suguru asked with a hint of surprise in his voice. "Well, might be the first time I've seen someone agree to go on an overnight trip with his ex..."

"Hmph. I just don't like squandering money."

Suguru snorted, unimpressed. “Satoru, you have an entire fortune. The airfare is just an amount you'd donate to charity. Besides, you have wasted more than that.”

“Well, I want to enjoy my youth too! I’m going—who cares if she’ll be there!”

He was still miffed, recalling the day your argument spiraling out of control. How could you say those hurtful things to him?

“You never take things seriously—heck, I’m not even sure if you’re ever taking me seriously at all! Satoru, you’re always acting all high and mighty, but you’re just a selfish little twat!”

No way. The last time, he was left in the dust, not being able to say anything in his defense. So now, he would use this chance to be the one who had the last laugh. He was going, because he was 70% sure that you wouldn’t let your hard-earned money go to waste.

And he was right when two days later, he found you at the airport with a bitter scoff upon seeing him.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he moistened his lower lip in that obnoxious way. “Missed me?”

You walked past him, tone lacing with disdain. “Get lost, Gojo.”

He couldn’t help the prickling sensation in his chest when you dismissed him just like that. And the use of his last name—whereas you used to call him with all sort of available pet names? Now that was just low.

“Nah, you can’t get away from me that easily, Y/N,” Satoru sniggered. “You’re going to see me for the next three days, so suck it up and enjoy the sight,” and then the idiot proceeded to pump his fist in the air. “Wooo! Kyushu, here I go!”

Suguru and Shoko merely observed your icy interactions in silence, occasionally exchanging glances from time to time.

ITINERARY ::: DAY 1 — BEACH DAY @ SEASIDE HOTEL

After the three-hour flight, the four of you arrived at Karatsu, one of the main highlights in your trip—or back then, one you and Satoru handpicked yourselves.

You swore you still had your heart frozen for him, so you didn’t know what stirred it when you saw him giggling and doubling over in carefree delight, surrounded by those beach girls in skimpy bikinis.

“Hey, handsome~ is this even okay?” one of the girls in pink thong scooted closer to him, asking him with this cheap seductive grin. “Won’t your girlfriend be mad?”

At that moment, you could’ve sworn Satoru threw you a glance from the corner of his eye before replying with a triumphant bark. “What girlfriend? I’m wholly and happily single!”

The hell?

A rush of squeals grated your nerves as they swarmed your ex-boyfriend, prompting you to stalk away in irritation.

Absolutely not. You wouldn’t let this fine establishment be your heartbreak hotel any longer.

Gojo Satoru knew fully that he was petty. He let you see that on purpose just to rile you up, because frankly, he still felt like he didn’t deserve your messy breakup at all.

But when you were no longer in his eyesight, suddenly the urge to entertain these strangers dissipated, and what remained was this hollow sensation in his chest. You not paying him attention somehow made him crave it all the more.

He recalled how you pointed out that playing in the clear waters would be your ideal graduation gift. He specifically recommended this place himself and you had agreed. He remembered planning all of this, dragging Suguru and Shoko too just to make it merrier. To keep that cute smile on your face.

You were supposed to fool around with him in the clear waters of Matsubara Beach, splashing and pulling him underwater.

And yet in reality, he was toying with these questionable women and in your eyes, he was nothing but an irritable twat.

He didn’t see you again until evening, during dinner time. And the sight before him made him want to pull Suguru to the side and trap him inside his unlimited void.

"Really?" Your clear voice rang in his ears, every bit the same as when you would energetically question him with those doe eyes of yours, as you peered at Suguru. "We should go together tomorrow then!"

His eyes twitched.

What has his life come to? Reduced into seeing his ex-girlfriend possibly going on a date with his best friend?

He almost hoped that you'd stage up your pettiness level. It was worse because unlike him, you didn't make this up just to gauge his reaction.

That night, in their shared hotel room, he ignored Suguru completely, as well as silently waiting for him to divulge where he and you were going tomorrow.

"Hey Satoru—"

"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep."

It was obviously a wrong move, because Suguru apparently caught the hint and stayed quiet as a mouse throughout the night.

ITINERARY ::: DAY 2 — HOT SPRING @ KUMAMOTO

Or at least, last he remembered, that was the agenda.

Until he saw that only Shoko who was there, idling around at the hot spring area.

"Where are the others? Why is it only you here?"

She shrugged. "Geto said he's going to try the local specialties. Dunno where. As for me, I'm going to enjoy this onsen to the fullest."

Shoko noticed his irritated scowl, and a sly grin crept across her face.

"Heh, jealous much now, Gojo?"

Meanwhile, you and Suguru went to various dessert shops in town as per his invitation. Perhaps he took pity on you because you really seemed not to be having any fun at all after you stormed off from the beach area yesterday.

"Mmm! This is tasty!" you remarked, munching away the three-colored dango happily. You were so engrossed in eating today that you no longer had any room to think about anything else, which was a good thing.

Suguru smiled. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself now." However, he appeared to have something on his mind, prompting you to hum and tilt your head in curiosity.

"No, it's just... so it's really over between you and Satoru?"

You let out a snort. "Yeah. Totally. He's an ass."

"He really is miserable, you know..."

"Nah, he doesn't look like it."

Your friend sighed. "Honestly, what was the argument even about? Both of you usually didn't take it this far."

You didn't want to go back to that topic, really. But Suguru was always the one with cooler head, and after his kindness today, maybe you could spare him a detail or two.

"It's a lot of little things that have piled up, you know," you mumbled. "It's probably just how he is, and I know. But I finally reached my boiling point. Why can't he try to see things from my perspective? Everything that's important to me doesn't seem to matter to him, and relationships need two people, not just one who resigns and the other who does anything he pleases."

And until now, you doubted if Satoru even realized what he did wrong. That was what hurt you the most. Like you were so small in his eyes, like he could toy with you and get away with it.

As you expected, Suguru would understand your point. "So that's how you feel... Yeah, I think I get it."

You thought he would end it at that, but then he went on. "I'm not defending him, Y/N. I think some time away from you would do him good, but later, maybe you can talk this to him? See if he will understand?"

"I already did, so many times." You narrowed your eyes at him. "Not to offend you, but it awfully seems like you're defending him, Suguru, despite you saying otherwise."

"I'm saying this because sometimes we can forget that Satoru is different," he explained sympathetically, and to be honest, you were surprised by his statement. "He is born exalted. He has a hard time comprehending things that come to us naturally. I just think it's a pity if... you can actually fix this, but just because bad communication, you lose the chance to."

Have you properly communicated this to him? Now that you thought about it, most of the times you would just get mad and point at the little things he missed, but never actually told him how it made you feel.

Your mind was still muddled with the fact Suguru had shed light on even after you got back to ryokan where you were staying for the night. The two of you were in for a surprise though as apparently there was a festival happening there.

Everything seemed to spark with glitters. The bamboo lanterns, lights, the gentle breeze. It created an undeniably romantic ambiance, to be honest.

You didn't know when Suguru slipped away, but suddenly, you found yourself alone amidst the visitors and dim lights.

And you found yourself to be immensely lonely.

Satoru spotted you in all your solitary glory amidst the sea of people in this godforsaken place.

No, actually it was a pretty great inn and attraction, but this trip had been horrible so far, and so he just felt everything was bad.

But at that moment, bitterness no longer clouded his mind, because you were so beautiful, bathed in the glow of the lights that Shoko had forcibly dragged him to see. If it were up to him, he'd spend the last night sleeping his heartbreak away, but now that he was here, he was thankful to see the dazzling sight of you that reminded him once again just what made him hopelessly in love with you.

And why he didn't get his sorry ass back into your good graces faster.

He retraced everything had brought both of you to this point. Your last fight was about what again? Him not telling you any news when he would be back from a mission?

No matter how he thought about it, it was a trivial matter. So what made you mad? He kept thinking, and then he imagined switching places with you. What if you didn't text him at all for three days straight? How would he feel? Oh, he would be despondent, of course.

Now he was starting to understand. He had done that so many times he could no longer keep count. Granted, you would be angry.

Satoru suddenly know how to rectify this. He can make things right. He would be damned if he didn't. He just had to pull you aside, and he was going to when he lost sight you in the crowd.

Okay, now he was frantic, as the longer he didn't see you, the more his opportunity to make amends slipped away. He moved through the crowd, pushing people in the process, earning ire and questionable glares and yet he cared none for it.

He nearly cursed at how his phone kept vibrating incessantly inside his pocket. Begrudgingly, he took it out and almost gasped.

You are calling him.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

It was so incredibly stupid. You just went to pee for a bit and then somehow got yourself locked in the toilet. It might have been fine, but then the lights unexpectedly went out, scaring the shit out of you.

How could such a upscale inn experience a sudden power outage and have doors that wouldn't budge? It was worse when no matter how many times you punched the switch or banged the door, it refused to turn on or open.

You were trapped. Honestly, it took everything you had not to cry.

And so you did the next best thing aside from forcing your way out. You called your friends. First, Shoko, and then Suguru, but both of them somehow didn't pick up the call even after you had called them three times each.

That left you with one possible person left. In your frenzied mind, it didn't even register in your mind what you were doing as the line connected and the last person you'd call on the other side answered.

"Satoru," you shakily breathed out, almost crying—or were you already? You didn't know as you focused on his sharp intake of breath, most likely surprised at how rattled you sound.

"Y/N? What? What is it?"

"I—" you wheezed, hating how helpless you sounded, yet still forced the words out. "I'm locked, it's dark—and it's just so—help! Help me please! I tried getting Shoko but she didn't—"

"Okay, sweetheart, calm down. Calm down, okay?" Satoru's voice brought you some comfort and it helped to reduce your tears, missing how he slipped up by calling you with his usual pet name for you. "Tell me. Where are you?"

"The women's restroom… I think it’s in the east wing."

"I'm coming, okay? Don't panic. I'll be there. Just stay on the line."

You heard his ragged breaths as he muttered several "coming through!" and "excuse me!" from where he was. It made your heart lurch. Despite the spiteful breakup, he rushed to your aid as soon as he realized you were in some kind of trouble.

Was this okay, to let your relationship end just like that?

"I'm outside." And then you heard his voice, much to your relief. "Y/N? Are you there?"

"Yes!" you shouted over the steel door.

You then heard how he rummaged to get the door open, and faintly hear him cursing it. "It won't open."

You wanted to sob, but then Satoru told you with an absolute tone, sounding so sure and demanding that compelled you to comply. "Get away from the door. As far as possible. Take cover."

Oh God, was he going to do what you thought he might do?

...he did. The next thing you knew, the door—and much more than that—was destroyed, and a rush of cursed energy was everywhere. After the blast subsided, you instinctively made a run for it, and you didn't know how, but you ended up stumbling into him.

Satoru caught you in his firm embrace.

"It's okay. You're okay," he cooed, whispering in your ear gently, urging your shivering body to calm down. "You're safe now, Y/N... I'm here. You're safe."

There was always something about your trembling form that made him want to tear down everything and anything in his path just to make you feel secure. And there was always this sense of rightness whenever you snuggled in his arms. Both desires clashed in a contrasting need and want and Satoru could do nothing but keep you close to him, torn between the two.

He kept his hand on your spine, and you clung on him, burying your face in his broad, sturdy chest.

Nevermind the fact that you technically broke up with him. Nevermind that ever since this botched trip started, it was the first occasion in which the two of you held a proper conversation without spewing bravado or sarcasm.

Afterwards, he led you away from the site, and he figured it would be best to go somewhere quieter rather than the festival, and so here you were, at the deserted lounge.

You had calmed down for the most part, and slowly you felt heat in your cheeks. In hindsight, you could've tried using cursed energy to blast the door too, why didn't you think of that earlier?

And yet, unaware of your internal musings, Satoru's thoughts were occupied with another matter entirely, and blame it on his insensitivity—he chose this moment to drop it without hesitation.

"I want you back," he declared, void of any hesitation. "I'll be better, I promise. Those things you hate—tell me, and I'll make sure not to repeat them again."

He wasn't the sharpest when it came to picking up on your feelings, but Satoru vowed that if it bothered you that much, then he would do his best to avoid doing it.

But you... you were still trying your best to grasp the situation. Amidst the plot twist you just experienced tonight, his blatant proclamation was the last thing you expected so you only managed a "What?"

He held your gaze, eerily serious. “I don’t want to break up. It’s hell. We can—I can still fix this.”

He looked sincere, unlike the usual empty promises he’d give you after you went off on him. And suddenly, you understood.

“…really?”

“Yeah. Just give me another chance. I’ll prove it to you,” Satoru said, visibly impatient now. “I won’t give you up. This literally is the fight of my life right now.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, despite yourself. If there was anything that you had learned tonight, it was that apparently you and him were still salvageable.

“And how will you prove it?”

“Just so you wait and see, sweets. I’m gonna relight your feelings!”

It was beyond corny that he took a line from your favorite song. And both of you burst into a laughter at the sheer silliness of it.

You sighed, but this time of relief, in stark contrast to your earlier sighs that afternoon. You were giddy as a smile perched on your lips. “Fine. Let’s give this another shot.”

Satoru felt the tension in his shoulder melt with your answer. A genuine, wide smile emerged from the bottom of his heart and lit up his face.

“Now, this whole trip has been kind of terrible so far, don’t you think?” He made a brief pouty face for a moment before reverting to his mischievous grin His remarkable expressiveness—reminiscent of a child's, in your opinion—never ceased to fascinate you. “I have a pretty good idea where we should go next.”

You furrowed your brow in confusion. “What do you mean? Tomorrow’s our last day.”

“No freaking way!” he exclaimed, whipping out his phone to launch the travel agency app. “We are going to redo our graduation trip. This time just the two of us!”

There were many things that led to the end of your relationship with your dork of a boyfriend, but as you reflected on it, you realized that there were also many reasons for you to stay together, especially when he reached for your hand and held it firmly in his grasp.

You were unable to contain your excitement and bubbling with melodious giggles that he adored so much as he whisked you away from Kumamoto in favor of the last bullet train to Kyoto, where your long-awaited true vacation would begin.

Epilogue

“I told you this was a horrible idea. I fucking told you.”

"Can you blame me? Dude was about to throttle me in my sleep."

"Geto," Shoko scowled, her disbelief at his simple answer evident as she gestured wildly with both hands towards the wrecked lavatory, emphasizing her point. "Look—now that he had gone and done it, we're the ones footing the bill for the destruction of property!"

Gojo had blasted the washroom with a freaking Red. And the innkeeper promptly held both Shoko and Suguru responsible since their roommates were captured on CCTV and had vanished without a trace.

Suguru rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I genuinely thought it was a good idea. I didn't expect Satoru to go overboard though," then he threw her a stink eye. "And hey, you were complicit in this too!"

Shoko mumbled a string of curses as she pulled out her phone, snapping some pictures of the undeniable evidence of Gojo’s doing, and then made a call. Suguru frowned.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm reporting him to the headquarters!"

2K notes · View notes

redsaurrce · 1 year

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LOVE SHOT - TEASER

synopsis 💉 Where jk becomes the part of an experiment where he wasn't supposed to take the love shot but ends up taking it in high dose and gets obsessed with yn by mistake

pairing 💉 YANDERE Scientist!jeon jungkook x Scientist!fem reader

genre 💉 scientist!au , main fic contains HEAVY smut (minors DNI)

teaser word count 💉 1,580

warnings 💉 -- of the main fic-- kissing, profanity, jungkook is horny AF, cumming, overstimulation, fingering, cock warming, bathroom sex, BDSM, unhealthy obsession, hella possesive, jungkook whines like a fucking loser, he's in need of too much touch, boobplay, nippleplay, neck biting, manipulative man in da household y'all- like is it his fault?? huh??

💞Doses to be prescribed everyday

Dose 1 💉

Dose 2 💉

Dose 3 💉

Dose 4 💉

Dose 5

taglist 💉 @aajjks @effielumiere @dearsullix @canarystwin @yourslut16 @imwithurmother @perfectlyfangirling @pnibts @bloodline1632 @hopeonysus @roundedreluv12 @jub-jub @maqsxi @kooscameras @jungkooksleftbigtoe13 @thatblena @yawnyanii @viridiphile @milkxgukk @outro-kook @puppiliciouslove @mata0-0mata @pk-jimin @jungchanie @ziraspells @twisted-loved @lunaofsun @inlovewithallmusic @sassyfoxunknown @teugiie @hsaranghoe @jjhmk @mryuyux @xxoverthinkerxx @fandems @hollyverday @ohmygodddsblog @fly-on-the-wall @lookformyvoice @slutforwwh @shakashakaa @meikoo @emochicksasukeee @dearly-somber

@mymomsaid-no @madnesstaking0ver @miyoung23 @outofst1le @jiminstreble @kanvis @k3lynn @imagine-this-motherfucker @dontcallmeelle @jkbabiey @1-in-abillion @bangmechanpls @uarmyhore @devils-blackrose @hrndez2008 @azur3s @erennjim @cherryunie @vynmin @fragmentof-indifference (dm/ comment/ send an ask to be tagged)

"Divorce cases are increasing at an alarming rate among Koreans, young adults are facing heartbreak more than often. Love is no more in the air, it's the gloomy winds that are gushing past us." You stopped reading the newspaper and sighed, "See? Even my woman is feeling wary about our relationship." The man sitting on the couch in front of you commented.

"Chief, I told you that we are almost done with the formula, we are in the testing mode now." You said while folding the newspaper and keeping it aside.

"Yeah of course, you have been saying that since a month now." Your chief said with dissatisfaction. You pursed your lips, "Please don't worry, we know the project is getting delayed but chief, you know better than us how important testing before marketing is. As soon as we are ready to launch the product, you and your wife will be the very first couple to receive our sample." You said and stood up to leave after bowing. "Yeah whatever, but be quick." He waved his hand as he dismissed you from his office.

As soon as you got out from the office, you received a notification from Instagram. Ye Jun, your high school classmate had posted a pic.

When you opened it, it was a class reunion photo with your ex and his current girlfriend in the frame, you hurriedly liked it and shut close your phone. The breakup with your ex was bitter and you spent days pondering over why he would breakup with you. "It was awful dating you. Why don't you date your career instead?" Were his words.

All the times when he was busy preparing for his Civil service examinations, you stayed by his side even though he couldn't afford to give you much time, it was understandable. But when it came to your career building, why did he become a jerk then?

Even thinking about him makes your blood boil, what is the use of making artificial love doses if one's heart wants something else? You leaned against the wall, your breakup wasn't based on fading hormones due to the increase of pollution of all sorts. Then those like you, would they be able to keep their love intact with the love shots?

Maybe not. But those who are desperate to stay in love, maybe for them the love shot can grant them their wishes. You smiled slightly at the thought.

Ah! You almost forgot to check the testing that was going on in the lab so you thought of going back to the headquarters.

Meanwhile in the lab, scientist Jeon Jungkook and his assistant, Gi Shin-won were running the test.

The test include providing the subject a dose of love shot and made them look at the opposite gender or same if necessary. The shot only works under two conditions,

The first person they look at after taking the love shot will be the one they'll feel the feelings of love unravel.

Normally works better if they have feelings of infatuation or affection even in the slightest towards the person they're looking at.

for the shot to stay affective, they need to take it every fourteen days and once the relationship has been mended, they can stop taking it and their relationship will continue on the virtue of their true feelings.

As Jungkook and his assistant noted the observation, one of the female subjects raised her hand. "Yes how may I help you?" Jungkook asked.

"Uhm.. as you can see that we've already signed the contract where it says that the experiment we are taking part in, is entirely under our willingness and if anything goes wrong then you guys won't be held responsible. I know I shouldn't question this as I willfully signed the consent papers but .. still I'm kind of worried, you see?"

He nodded, "I completely understand your concern mam, the thing is the moment we are done taking the observations, we're also providing everyone with antidotes of this shot, so if you're worried about falling in love with a stranger, it will only last a few hours and then the symptoms will wear off with our antidote." He reassured.

"Uh.. I know that. Well, yesterday one of my friends took it and said that she felt hot and all, I'm actually worried because I have a child to take care of so..." She trailed off in doubt.

"Ah? So that is what was concerning you? You thought this might be fatal?" He asked with curiosity. "No no no.. I mean.." "it's okay, I get it. Wait let me then try it on, when we said that we have put our blood, sweat and tears in it, we weren't kidding." He chuckled as he sat down on the chair where the subjects for experiment were supposed to sit on.

He opened his lab coat and folded up the sleeves of his shirt exposing his forearm to take the injection, "Shin-won please inject the shot." He requested.

His assistant gulped, "But you were supposed to observe?"

"It's alright, I can just take the antidote and Y/N will be here soon so she will continue the observation along with you." He said with a confident smile as he closed his eyes.

Shin-won slowly nodded as he thought of giving in to his pleas, he connected the wires to Jungkook's scalp and then picked up a syringe and injected 5ml of the love shot in his arm. Then an attractive lady walked in front of him and Shin-won told him to open his eyes, when Jungkook looked at the said lady, he felt nothing, the brain waves also saw no change as Shin-won looked at the monitor.

Which was normal, usually when the subject shows no change in his hormones, another person is shown to them. If no real life person catches their attention then they are shown the photos of celebrities.

Because who doesnt have celebrity crushes?

So another lady appeared in front of him, still no change. This kept going until the sixth person he saw. Shin-won sighed, "Do you by-chance have any celebrity crushes or someone you have as a girlfriend slash boyfriend slash crush?" He asked.

"I don't." He gulped as he lied, he had his biggest and fattest crush on you.

But how could he take your name as his crush and practically reveal it to everyone thus blowing his chance off even before he could do anything? Shin-won was a loud mouth afterall.

He continued, "How about you increase the dose by 5 ml? It worked at 10ml in case of subject 067 right?" He asked. Shin-won raised his eyebrows, "nice memory huh? Wait then let me inject another 5ml. Close your eyes." And Jungkook closed his eyes as his assistant prepared a fresh syringe.

"There! Now open your eyes." He instructed.

In much disappointment, he still showed no hormonal changes, Shin-won clicked his tongue in frustration, "Are scientists supposed to be extra immune or what?" He gritted his teeth but just then he got an idea.

He unlocked his phone and searched for racy pics of Hollywood celebrities, "What about this?" Shin-won suddenly flashed the pic in front of Jungkook and Jungkook immediately gasped while closing his eyes in reflex, "remove that from my face you brat!"

Shin-won removed his phone with a defeated face, "at least this should have worked for you."

Jungkook opened his eyes and looked at him in disbelief, "Do you take me for a horny teenager or something? Nudes of white women? Seriously?" He raised his eyebrows, only if the wires weren't still connected he would've smacked his assistant.

Jungkook bit his lower lip, "Give me another 5ml." He commanded.

Shin-won's eyes became wide, "What? No way! No subject has ever taken this dose above 10 ml!" Jungkook shook his head, "Then let me be that subject alright? Hurry up now." He said as he shifted in his seat comfortably and closed his eyes.

"I'll be getting killed tonight by Y/N." He said while arranging a new syringe. "I'm sure she'll understand me, afterall we need to distribute to all sorts of people, who knows how much is a lot? Maybe through me, you all will find out?" He said with his eyes still closed.

"We are already 3 times above the safe limit, are you sure?" He asked Jungkook for the last time while pointing the injection towards his arm.

"Yes ofcourse, we need to also know how much antidote should be taken to counteract the effects of such a large portion of this dose." He answered.

"Fine." His assistant said and finally injected the shot.

Just then you entered the lab and got surprised as you saw Jungkook on the subject's seat, "What the hell?" You looked at them in shock. Jungkook involuntarily opened his eyes to look at you and Shin-won looked at you as well. But just when he was about to explain to you, a beep sound shifted all three of yours attention towards the screen.

The hormonal change graph was steepingly rising and Shin-won started to panic and started searching for the antidote while Jungkook started feeling hotter with each passing second. You quickly ran over towards him and disconnected all the wires. Just as you went near the monitor, you heard a large thud from behind.

Your eyes went wide as you saw Jungkook's collapsed body on the ground.

The last words he heard before going blank were his name being called repeatedly in your muffled voice slowly fading out.

--x

To be continued...

DOSE 1

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norrisleclercf1 · 7 months

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The Devil is a Fallen Angel

Pairing: Mafia!Mick x Reader

Rating: Pg-17

Words: 2.3K

Requested: Yes/No

Warnings: Kidnapped, drugging?, angst, some fluff, heartbreak, we're having fun tonight

Part 1: An Angel and A Devil

Synopsis: Mick didn't think he'd lose you, and he certainly didn't plan of losing you forever

A/N: Happy Halloween! I hope this lives up to ya'lls expectations!

There's a quote you remember from one of your literature classes. It was a brilliant quote. It comes to you as you drive through the mountains of Germany. Be careful who you trust, the Devil was once an angel.

"Hehehe, I knew I liked her for a reason." Mick groans, rolling on his garage floor as his father stands over him. "Da," "You know, never took you to get distracted by a pretty face. Then again, you are my son. Anyways, where'd she go?" Mick rolls onto his back, closing his eyes. Nausea sends him rocking, trying to ground himself as his body spins.

"Hey," Michael claps loudly, blending in with the thunder. "Where'd my pretty daughter-in-law go?" Cracking an eye open, Mick feels that familiar clamp of his throat and scurries to a trash can, heaving his stomach into the can. "This is just sad, Mick. She didn't even give you a full dose, and you're sick like a newborn." Michael shakes his head, looking around the garage.

"Pardon," Mick rolls back, lying on the ground as he sucks in the crisp, chill air. "Me for getting sick. The love of my life tricked me, drugged me, and I had to get dragged down as she took off in the damn car, leaving me here." He rasps, wiping his mouth. Sitting up, he spits, trying to rid the taste in his mouth. "Mick, you should've known she'd retaliate. You got distracted because you were thinking of," "If you finish that sentence, I don't care if you're my father. I'll kill you." Michael closes his mouth, watching the fire burning in his son's eyes.

"Mmm, we better find her. She doesn't know her way around here, and with our enemies and allies, who knows who'll get to her first." Mick stands. He rocks, but Michael steadies him, ensuring he doesn't fall. "She," Sucking in another breath, he rolls his neck, the drug slowly disappearing. "She took my car. It has a tracker in it." Michael nods, grabbing a set of keys and helping his son to the car.

"I never should've lied. If this is my punishment, I'll take it. Just don't hurt her." Michael rolls his eyes, hearing his son's whispers. "Mick, I swear if you're praying. I'm leaving you on the side of the road." Glaring, Mick shuts up as the two blondes follow the tracker. "Here, we're," Mick stopped, seeing that the tracker wasn't moving. "Stop!" Michael slams on the brake. Mick, not waiting, bolts out of the car, rain battering his body, soaking him to the bone. "No."

Rushing down the ditch, he sees the car lying in the mud and water. Broken glass, blood, footprints, and drag marks surround him as he starts to spin around. "Y/N! Y/N!" He roars. Michael slides down the ditch, studying the scene. "Mick, Mick, stop yelling." Grabbing his son by his shoulder. "Goddammit! She's not here, Mick. She's not here." Mick just stares at his father. The words sink in, sending his face grumbling as he screams loudly, Michael holding him tight.

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"You could've made it look less like a kidnapping," Shoving your foot hard, you kick the back of the driver's seat. "Ow," They groan, blue eyes meeting yours. "A thank you would've been nice, you know?" "Oh, oh, a thank you?" You snap back, growing fussy with each passing movement. "A warning would've been nice, Sebastian, but you decided to hide this fact because Mick is your godson!" Kicking his seat hard, Sebastian slams on the brakes, sending you flying into the back of it.

"Listen here," The older German turns around, facing you as the dark backcountry wood road is the only thing around you two. "I only helped you because Michael called and said you needed to leave. I never would've done this to Mick or my family. That boy loves you, Y/n. Like air, and right now, I'm ripping away the only thing he's got." Sebastian spats, furious at you for the first time ever. "And right now, I don't need some prissy, popular, no good, foul mouth, little GIRL yelling at me." Sebastian seethes, the two of you breathing hard, staring at one another.

"Drive the stupid car," You hiss, baring your teeth like an animal. "What do you think I was doing?" He snaps back, turning back around and slamming the car into gear. "You're such a brat," Sebastian whispers, you snarl kicking the back of his seat again.

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"Mick, baby, you need to eat," Corrina whispers at his door, knocking on it. "Go away," His meek voice broke through. "Corrina, leave the boy alone," Michael whispers, fingers trailing his wife's arm. "He hasn't eaten in almost 2 weeks. He can't keep doing this," She whispers, holding the simple plate of crackers and cheese.

"Corrina, he lost the girl. Let him grieve." Michael hisses, but Corrina refuses to listen. "The only reason he lost that girl is because of you." Shoving the plate into his chest, storming down the hall, and spitting off German. "What does she mean?" "Scheisse," Michael jumps, holding the plate, turning as he glares at the ghost of his boy. "Nothing, she means nothing. You know how your mother is, dramatic." Michael chuckles, the nerves getting to him as Mick glares at him.

"Papa, what did you do?" Mick is a dog with a bone, refusing to let go once he caught it. "Nothing, Mick. Jesus, all I did was tow the car and tell them to call off the search." His son's eyes widen hearing that, stepping out of the room. "Why would you do that?" Michael swallows, stepping back. "Don't question me, and eat your damn crackers and cheese. You're worrying your mother." Shoving the plate into Mick's chest, Michael follows after Corrina, begging her to talk to him.

"Dumbass," Mick whispers, closing the door and returning to his laptop. He gave you a necklace with little angel wings a while ago, but it was unknown to you that it had a tracker. Lucky enough for him, you never took it off when you ran for him. Sitting down, he bites into one of the crackers and gags. Nothing has tasted good for him in the past 2 weeks. Everything was bland with little to no taste; it was almost like everything had lost its flavor or color when you left.

Spitting out the cracker, he wipes his mouth, watching as the screen beeps and zooms in. "There you are," He smiles, leaning in as he laughs, shaking his head. "Right under my nose,"

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"Class is fine, Mama, and yes, Mick and I did break up." You huff into the phone, tired of the older woman badgering you. She didn't understand why you would break up with your perfect boyfriend. You hated asking Sebastian to bring you back here but needed normalcy. The older German is still at the University teaching his Ecosystems class, and you see him playing with his bees.

Now you know why Mick was always around him and why he only ever called him Sebastian. The older man watched you, ensuring you never told anyone Mick's secret. "Mama, I have to go, okay bye." Hanging up the phone, you groan, rubbing your eyes as you sit at the old table. The table you and Mick first met at, where you two fell in love, whispers of children and marriage. You hated and loved this table.

"I hate that I miss you," Words soft, tracing the delicate bumps of your initials carved into the table. You can still remember when Mick pulled out the little pocket knife and started to mark the pristine table. "I hate that you left me," You smile, hearing Mick's voice clear as day. Even your thoughts were starting to sound just like him. "I had to," "Did you, though?" You turn, seeing Mick standing at the end of the bookcases, sunglasses pushing his hair back.

The locks are longer, wearing baggy pants, a white tank top, and a black button-up thrown open. A chain necklace around his neck and multiple rings adorning his fingers. "Mick," You gasp, scrambling out of the chair, your back hitting the wall, leaving you utterly trapped and at his mercy. "Engel, you ran from me. You're okay." He whispers, moving closer to you. Wrists ache with the memory of the chains that kept you to him.

"Come any closer, and I scream," His eyes narrow at that threat but soften as he shakes his head. "Y/n, we both know that no one is in here. It's almost midnight, and this is the time I'd always come to study. You've been repeating our schedule." He reaches out, flinching away from his touch, which has his entire body run cold.

Not once did he ever think the love of his life would flinch when he goes to touch them, not once. But, here you are, jerking from his touch. "Engel," He whispers, dropping his hand and eyes filling with tears. "Don't, don't do that." You whisper, seeing this boy before you break. "I've hurt you," His words muffled, trying to stop his tears. "Mick, stop. Don't think your crying is going to change anything." You whisper, closing your eyes. The moment you honestly looked at him, you'd cave, and it's the end of you.

"Please, Engel, I'm sorry, forgive me." He whispers, breath warm on your cheek, able to feel the pressure of his body against your own. "Mick, no." You whisper eyes screwed shut. Mick drops his head, bending his knees. He falls to the floor, knees cracking as he hits the floor. "I'll even beg you. Please, Y/n, please, I'm begging you. Don't leave me again, please." Arms wind around your waist, a nose brushing your hip as Mick holds you tight, begging you.

"I'll die if you want me to die. I'll do it." Mick's honey voice is muffled by your stomach as he rubs his nose in your hip, having missed your warmth and smell. "Mick, I," You're at a loss for words. What do you say to the man who killed you, who lied about everything, yet you aren't angry anymore. Your soul is just yearning for him, and you hate that. "Get off me!" You scream so loud, slamming him off you. Mick flies back, landing on the ground with a groan and a gasp of air.

"Engel, please." He groans, reaching out as you wipe the salty tears streaking down your face. "Fuck you, fuck you and your family. Fuck it all, Mick, we're done." You gasp, trying to stop the shakes as you bolt off, leaving everything. "Y/n! NO!" Mick roars, and the sound of thumping feet pounds after you as you move through the empty library, heading for the doors.

Bolting out, you don't look back. Two arms reach around you as you let out a screech, almost animalistic. "Stop, stop, you're safe." Michael's voice fills your head, with you sagging into his chest. "Let me go, please. I can't do this. I love him, Michael, but I can't." You whisper as you see Mick run up to you. "Engel, please just let me explain everything. I can't lose you. It'll kill me." He whispers, caging the front of you between him and his father.

"Mick, stop manipulating the girl," Michael growls, arms tightening around you. "I'm no," Mick stops, staring at your face. "She's coming with us," Mick growls, refusing to lose you this easily. "Mick, no," Michael argues, but Mick shakes his head. "I can't lose you," He whispers, leaning in as he kisses you gently, unable to help yourself to kiss him back. "I love you, always remember that. Okay?" Still drunk off his kiss, you nod numbly, feeling Michael pull you back.

"Come on, we're going home. It's okay. We're doing this to protect you." Michael rubs a comforting hand on your back as you suck in a shaky breath. "Take me home, please." Exhaustion seeping into bones. "Shhh, it's okay." He whispers, placing you in his car as Mick climbs onto his bike behind you. "We're going home," You whisper, hating how your heart craves from the Swiss mountains, watching as Mick covers his perfect halo of hair.

"I'm sorry, I thought having Sebastian get you out would help you and Mick. Instead, I've hurt you both far more." Michael whispers, the car horror movie silent. "I didn't ask that of you. I escaped on my own." Michael smiles, remembering the state he found his son in. "That you did. I was just trying to protect you." "I don't need your fucking protection." You snap like an angry child. Michael says nothing, the same silence filling the car.

"How," Clearing your throat, almost like the words are choking you. "How do you love someone who's lied to you about everything?" The question hangs in the air, Michael chewing your words over. "You don't. You learn to love the pretty lies the boy has given you, and don't question it. If he's lying, it's not because he doesn't love or respect you. He's doing it because he's protecting what little light he's got. Now that you know, he's covered in darkness. Be that light for him; be the nieve little girl he wants you to be again. Don't ask him anything, ask me. Let me be the bad guy." Michael pleads, the love for his son endless.

"Has he killed before?" "Yes," Michael doesn't miss a beat to your question. "Why?" Michael casts a glance your way and sighs. "Last year, a guy followed you home. Mick was watching from the shadows. He killed him without a second thought. I almost killed him for that, but he didn't regret it. The only time he kills is for you." Your stomach twists and turns, hearing that Mick only kills when it comes to you.

"I don't ask him to kill anyone for me." You whisper, the air being sucked out of you. "You don't have to. He'd kill me for you if he had to. There's this old saying about the Devil," "The devil is a fallen angel." You and Michael say at the same time and stare at one another. "Be proud, angel. You've got your own Devil." Michael whispers.

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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 1 year

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Cold as ice II

a/n because why not take an opportunity to cry some more. I am so thankful for all the love honestly! You guys are the best!✨🤍

summary: what happens when Ellie stumbles upon a memorial that turns out to have both your and Joel's kids names on it. When the past pain is brought back to the daylight even the coldest of hearts finally break.

This can be read as a standalone but is written as a part two to Cold as ice.

warning: Killing, mentions of multiple death, loosing your kids, supplement use, mention of miscarriage, trauma but I think this is not as bad as the first part lol.

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"How is she?", Tommy approached Joel in a tight corridor that was filled with both sobbing people and soldiers shouting. "The same," Joel ran a hand over his face, "They are moving everyone out of here today. To a different quarantine facility." Those words instantly sparked something in Joel. "What? Shit, she's still pumped up with meds", if the process of going there was as torture as it was getting here, you barely stood a chance.

"Joel", Tommy started, but Joel was all up at his face within a heartbeat, "Tommy, if you'll tell me one more fucking time to leave her by. I will blow out your brain's myself". The tone was anything but pleasant. Joel had been wanting to rip someone to pieces for some time now. He had beaten the stranger to a pulp here after the first day. The man was standing in front of the door that led to your room. Crunched down to look through the little window. Joel didn't ask questions; he just swung a punch. Nor did he remember much besides that when Tommy pulled him away, the man was nothing but a pool of blood.

"You know that's not what…", "She lost two kids…", Joel's words cracked mid-sentence as the thought of his two angels once again swirled in his mind. His biggest and most precious little bugs were taken away like that. "So did you, man", Tommy brought Joel closer to him. Joel's arms moved to grip the material of his brother's jacket. He didn't want to cry, but the sob had come out of nowhere. The past three days have been a nightmare and then some. Now Joel was sure that he was paying for all of his sins. Paying in the most brutal ways.

Dragging you away from the field was the second hardest thing Joel ever had to do. He could only pray that his arms would not let him down as he pressed you closer to his body. Joel wasn't sure what they injected into your neck once you reached an army van and practically ripped out the eyes of the soldier who tried to help you into the vehicle, but you collapsed immediately. Joel barely managed to catch you. He pressed your unconscious body against his. Just like he had for the past hour or so. Praying and hoping that you weren't gone. Joel couldn't lose all three of you. Now you were all he had to fight for. No matter how much pain he was in himself. Joel had to drag you both out of the darkness.

Then he sat in the chair next to your bed. If you could even call it that. When they had ushered everyone underground, Joel had bribed a nurse to give you three a room and make sure that a doctor would come to check you. At that time, the price didn't matter. He needed an answer. Needed to know that you were going to wake up. High dose of sedatives - the doctor had said. "But I doubt it'll keep her out for long. After two kids… My apologies. If I'll find any medication", he had placed a supportive palm on Joel's shoulder. Something that would also end up feeling so foreign soon.

If Joel thought seeing you unconscious was difficult, it didn't compare to the heartbreak he had to endure the moment you opened your eyes. You jolted with a gasp. Eyes jumped across the room as you tried to figure out where you were. "Love…", Joel stood up, slowly approaching you. "Sarah… Malakai," you murmured as you continued to look around. "How about a glass of water, huh?", Joel asked, hoping to sway the topic. But you pushed the blanket off your body. "Sarah and Malakai," you repeated. Joel clenched his jaw. "Sarah and Malakai," "Love, stay in bed," Joel put his hands on your legs, stopping you from pushing them over the edge. "Sarah…Malakai", you said once again, eyes looking up at Joel, "They killed them. I saw… I saw," you breathed out, pressing a finger to your forehead where the bullet had pierced your son's skull. "I know, baby, I know", Joel tried to gently hold onto you, but the moment his palms touched your arms, you let out the loudest scream. Pushing him away as you turned to the other side of the bed. You dragged your feet over the cold concrete. Sinking to the floor without even being able to take a step forward. Joel rounded the bed as he kneeled in front of you.

"They are dead," you cried out, pulling at Joel's shirt, "My babies… I need to go, I need to…", you tried to pull yourself up by using Joel to brace yourself, but that only made you glance down at your hands, which were still slightly stained by the dried blood that had been on them. "Y/N, you need to calm down. Or they will come in here and", but you paid Joel no mind as you pulled your hands up so you could look at them.

"Get it off," you whispered, "Get it off," pushing your arms towards Joel as you screeched. Joel had scrubbed your unconscious body for hours. There was nothing more he could do. "Joel, get it off," you said once more, tears spilling from your eyes, and Joel couldn't bring himself to do anything. "It's everywhere, get it off", you moved your hand to rub at your skin. All you saw was blood. Blood everywhere. Rubbing turned into scratching, and soon your nails were raking over your skin. Joel quickly caught both of your wrists in his hands. Shaking you slightly as if in hopes of making your return to your senses. "Make it stop", you cried out, hallow eyes looking at Joel. "There's nothing on your hands, love", he barely managed to sound somewhat like himself. But you just shook your head at him, "There's blood all over them. Our kids' blood, Joel."

That was a day ago. Now you just lay there. Leafless. No movements. Eyes blinking once in a while. The only indication that you were still alive. Now Joel wished you would scream. The silence was torture. It was too loud. It pulled you so far away from him. Tommy clapped his brother on the back a couple of times before pulling away. "Get her ready. I'll look at how to get the best spot for you and make sure you two stay together," Joel said nothing. He hoped his eyes said enough. "You look after her. We'll get her back up on her feet," Joel could tell that even if Tommy tried to keep it somewhat positive, he didn't fully believe it himself. Didn't believe that there was any coming back from this. Nor did he believe that you would ever be the same. But Joel nodded anyway.

"Hey", Joel ran a hand over your forehead, once he stepped back into the little room, but didn't get a single movement in return. Not that he was expecting it. "We will have to get you dressed, okay? Then we'll need to go somewhere," Joel said, carefully pulling the blanket off your body before reaching for your clothes. Clothes he had washed. Wash off your kids' blood. Blood that seemed never-ending.

You were shivering. It hadn't stopped ever since you were brought in the first QZ. It had died down a bit. But there wasn't a moment when the quivering stopped. Joel pressed a kiss to your forehead as he walked through the corridor. Everyone was on high alert, and the soldiers were tired. Jumpy even. More than one person was killed here simply in the aftermath of unimaginable stress and anxiety. They only let healthy, strong people stay. Anyone with any injury, even the slightest one, was shot. You needed to stand on your own two feet. Walk through the lines of different specialists. Prove yourself worthy of surviving. And even that didn't guarantee you anything. You could have been hit by a bullet at any point.

You, however, were in no condition to stand. There was no way you could walk, much less talk. "Keep your head at the crook of my neck, love", Joel guided your head to rest there, "I will not let go of you even for a second. No one who will approach us will take you away from me," and at this point, Joel wasn't sure if he was still reassuring you or if it had turned to self-reassuring now. With the help of the doctor who assisted you just as you were brought here. They filed the documents of you having a miscarriage. Right here at the QZ. A piece of paper that had the main doctor's signature and forbade you from walking. That had high dosages of medicine marked as a fallacious move by the doctor itself. That you were more than a healthy female before that, and that you would regain that strength once the medication wore off. The only hope Joel had of getting you out of here alive was that piece of paper. And if that didn't work… Well, Joel was ready to kill anyone who stood in his way.

"Joel," Ellie's sad voice pulled the male out of the trance, "Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this." Joel rested his palms on his knees, ready to stand up, but Ellie quickly inched forward. It seemed to her that the man in front of her was no longer the same Joel she knew. "How did you… how did you get through that?", she knew the question was stupid. Joel let out a sad chuckle followed by a painful sigh, "You don't even have an idea how much strength you have until you are forced to use it. That's when you truly see your power". Joel had locked his pain away. Behind a plethora of locks, doors, and crevices. So no one could see it. No one could access it. Draped a shield of coldness on top of it. The coldness made Joel seem more like an animal than a human. He had to become a monster in order to protect the only thing that kept his heart beating. Nothing was off-limits when it came to you.

"I felt like I was failing every day. Every day that I saw her lying there," Joel shook his head at the images that haunted him. The feeling of helplessness flowed through him. Joel had found a woman who could pretend to be you for the time being. Who could take your evening shifts. Who kept the target off your back. No one was allowed to lay around in the QZ, there was too much work as it was. "Joel you were far from failing her", Ellie said putting her hand on Joel's palm, "It feels different kiddo when you see someone you love drifting away".

All the worried looks that Joel would give you made sense now. All the times he would walk up to you. Taking a hold of your hand as he looked at you. Moving to kiss your hands at the time, if not that then, Joel would just hold them in his much bigger palms. At the time, Ellie thought that by doing that, Joel was just trying to warm them up during the cold evenings, but now it had a way bigger meaning behind it. That was Joel's silent attempt to make sure that you stayed with him. That you wouldn't drift away. Like a true guard at night, standing his watch. Always ready to fight for you.

"And I felt horrible that I left him all alone", the sound of your voice made the two of them turn toward the door. "I kept on telling myself to get up. You need to do that for Joel, but…", you shrugged your shoulders. Joel reached his arm towards you, and you instantly walked close to him. Settling down on his lap. His arm snaked around your middle as Joel pressed a loving kiss to the top of your head. "I never blamed you for it," Joel whispered, looking straight into your eyes. "I know because you're an angel." You cupped his face gently. Leaning in to press your forehead to his. Brushing your fingers under Joel's eyes as you wiped away the last tears.

This man was everything. If you'd fallen for him and his sense of humor back then. The fact that there was never a dull moment with him that even the most serious moments could be turned into fits of laughter. If you had fallen for how attentive and caring he was toward your kids. The way he always put them first. The way he sat in the bathroom for hours learning how to braid Sarah's hair or how he played astronauts with Momo even after the longest shift. Putting him over his shoulder or back as he ran around the living room making all sorts of noises. Then Joel turned into a rock—a whole mountain that shielded you from the restless sea that threatened to drown you. Never moving. Never scared.

"I don't want you to feel like we've been using you as some sort of… as our kids' replacement. The love I feel towards you…" you started, but Ellie quickly shook her head. "How could I? No, Y/N never," she said quickly, and you reached for her hands. "You are a special girl, Ellie, so special," you said as you brushed your fingers over her cheek, and she leaned into your touch. Trying to savor it for as long as possible. "You both are like my parents and I've never felt that..", Ellie's bottom lip trembled. Joel reached out to her as well.

"And you are our girl," Joel said, his voice shaky, but he knew he had to say it. Had to let her know that his coldness toward her at the start was just his defensive response. His fear of the unknown. The fear of it all ending the same. But Joel knew that once his nightmare shifted and he started to see Ellie dying in Sarah's or Momo's place, he knew that she had sneaked past his guard. Ellie had managed to find that well-hidden spark inside Joel's heart. And there was nothing that could have been done about it.

Ellie wrapped her hands over both of your shoulders, pulling you both into a hug. A light cry slipped from her lips. Your hand instantly moved to rub her back in hopes of soothing her. Joel pressed a tender kiss to the crown of her head before turning his eyes to you. Your teary eyes were already looking back at him. You mouthed a silent "I love you" to him, which Joel returned straight away, followed by a light smile.

Once Ellie pulled away, you both looked at her with fondness. "Thank you for sharing this with me. You didn't have to, but you did," she said, as you rubbed away her tears the same way you had done before. "You are a part of the family now. Family doesn't have secrets," you said softly. "Plus, I think me and Y/N both needed closure", you nodded your head at Joel's words. You had told him multiple times that it was eating you alive that you were keeping this way from Ellie. You could tell that she sensed that something was wrong; she just never asked.

"Do you want to see a picture of them?", you asked, turning to Joel, who you knew had kept a picture of you four. The one he always carried around with him. Tommy had taken it on Momo's second birthday. The summer was in full swing, so you decided to have a barbecue outside. You stood there in a flowy dress, laughing at Sarah, who had a surprised look on her face since Joel had rubbed barbecue sauce on her cheek. Joel's head was thrown back as he laughed. Even Momo, who was nestled in your arms, had somewhat of a grin on his face.

"Sarah would have loved you", Ellie lifted her eyes away from the picture to the sound of Joel's voice. You hummed in agreement, "Momo would have been all over you as well you two cheeky bunch would have gotten into so much trouble". Ellie glanced back down. The image that she saw frozen in front of her seemed almost impossible compared to the two people she had met. But now she knew more than better to not judge the book by its cover. The deepest and most painful scars were always hidden the deepest.

"I would have loved to know them", Ellie said dragging her finger over their faces, "Momo, looks like a minute version of Joel". You let out a little laugh, "That's what I said. Imagine how mad I was after carrying him for nine months and he popped out looking nothing like me". Joel cracked a smile, looking down at the photograph himself. The one he barely pulled out these days.

"If we stay in Jackson, we must build them memorial stones and plant flowers all around them," Ellie said firmly. The tears picked up at the corners of your eyes as you gazed at her. "That's a really beautiful idea, Ellie bear," you said, running your fingers over her hair. Joel nudged Ellie's side playfully, making her let out a chuckle before he brought you closer to him once again. Time healed scars, even if slowly. But you two were here and now you had Ellie by your side. Your hearts, even if covered in scars, still beat for one another. Together, you were capable of anything and everything. Life has already proven that.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us imagine #the last of us x reader #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal imagine

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fleursbending · 1 year

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𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐆𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝, 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. | Neteyam Sully

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 : idk if u write pure angst but, but, but i have a request. what about a neteyam x fem!reader where whenever she is in danger he always manages to get there in time to save her? something like '2 times he's in time and 1 time he's too late' [or almost too late, if u r not in the mood for a bad ending] (?) sorry if this doesn't make sense, english is not my first language :((

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : neteyam x fem!omaticayan reader

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : hi! this request got so much love so here goes nothing. you didn't specify if you wanted the reader to be human or na'vi, so i picked what i thought would best flow with the narrative :3. i slightly deviated from what's canon in the film as well. sorry, this took so long to get out and some of the tags were not working. - once again, feedback is much appreciated. enjoy!! (also i highly suggest listening to waiting room by phoebe bridgers whilst reading this.. i would link it but they took it off spotify).

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : atwow spoilers, injuries, angst, fluff, character death, blood, some cussing, mild gore (descriptive fight scenes), neteyam sickeningly in lword, established relationship, sully family being <3333, heartbreak!!!!! reader is a badass warrior.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 8k words !1!1

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 : @eywas-library @ghoulbli @ellabellabus07 @loves1ckgirl @your-daily-dose-of-fangirl @keijikunn @nijirozzz @eywas-heir @mymelodynumber1fan @kalims @bammtoli @blahehblah @iloveyomama44 @babamiasworld @rreyysol @stomach-bugg09 @xoxo-periwinkle-skies @23victoria @mashiromochi @grierpilots @buttercake2234 @bwormie @spicycloudsalad @missdreamofendless @neteyamoa @gamorxa

𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐘 :

Thanator - or the Na'vi name Palulukan (meaning "dry mouth bringer of fear") is a carnivorous animal native to the forests of Pandora.

Yawntu - a loved one, lover, beloved person. This is commonly used as a term of endearment.

Woodsprites - or the Na'vi name Atokirina is a seed of the Tree of Souls that lives on Pandora. These seeds, according to the Na'vi, are very pure and sacred spirits.

Skxwang - a person who acts/is a moron or an idiot.

Mawey - a term equivalent to the human version of "stay calm/ be calm".

Awa'atlu - a Metkayina Clan village off the coast of the Eastern Sea.

Uturu - a Na'vi tradition stating that any refugee seeking sanctuary must be granted safe harbor.

Skimwings - or the Na'vi name: Tsurak is a Pandoran creature inhabiting the tropical oceans. The Metkayina clan and other reef clans use the Skimwing for hunting larger prey at the surface or to dive deeper. It is also used as a mount during combat.

Melìew - your mother's name in this story.

Olo'eyktan - the clan leader is one of the most important members of a Na'vi clan and is similar to a chieftain. The leader is in charge of the clan and may rule along with their mate.

Tsahìk - the spiritual leader of a Na'vi clan, and the most important member next to the clan leader. The job of the Tsahìk is to interpret the will of Eywa, guide the clan spiritually, and perform important ceremonies such as Uniltaron and, in rare cases, the consciousness transfer.

Tulkun - a large, intelligent marine species native to the oceans of Pandora. Each Metkayina member engages a lifelong bond with a tulkun early in their life, whom they call their spirit brother/sister.

Payakan - Payakan is a young tulkun who befriends Lo'ak, one of Jake Sully and Neytiri's children, after saving his life.

Neteyam and yourself were a force to reckon with. Your souls are intertwined and saved for one another. It was unspoken throughout the clan that you would be each other's mates when the right time came. An official seal, partners for a lifetime - even once your spirit settles with Eywa.

That's how it was supposed to be.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄.

𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, he had been worried that due to his father's insistent training, he would have missed the date you'd planned. As he made his way through the clearing of your "secret spot", he immediately halted. Getting into a defensive stance as he reached for his bow and arrows.

You stood still, while a few meters away from you - a Thanator crept closer and closer. Y/n had not thought to bring her bow and arrows, only a hunting knife.

For once she had not thought to bring more protection, just wanting to be at peace with her favourite person. She didn't know she would stumble into any trouble, they weren't even that far from home.

In the Omaticaya clan, you were the most sought out for your hunting skills. But nothing could prepare you for this. While hand-on-hand combat was something you continued to learn from Toruk Makto, you'd only seen a Thanator in the wild very few times. You knew to never engage, hide and calm your breathing - do not make contact.

But it was too late for that now, wasn't it?

Neteyam's heart missed a beat, but the arrow he aimed at the Thanator didn't. It pierced through one of its legs. Letting out a ferocious raw as it barred its teeth at you both. He didn't stand down, shooting another arrow - this time sinking into its other leg.

The Thanator let out a low whine, its eyes calculating. Before pivoting and disappearing back into the jungle.

It was silent for a few moments, the adrenaline still ramping itself up in both your bones. Making your way over to him you brought him into a hug, leaning your head on his chest.

It felt like leaves had been shoved down your throat as you struggled to speak from the sheer shock. "Always my savior, thank you 'Teyam."

He scoffed, smoothing down your braids and pressing his lips to your forehead not letting up. He muttered against your skin, so gently.

"That could have gone a lot worse, yawntu." His eyes flittered around your surroundings, his ears perked up and tail swooshing in high alert still.

Squeezing his shoulders, you tried to ease some of his tension. Rubbing your nose against his, before taking a step back.

"But it didn't! My warrior, the mighty Neteyam Sully! The crowd goes wild, ahhhh!" You cupped your hands around your mouth, making a show of it all.

Rolling his eyes at your childish actions, he bent down retrieving what his dad called a "picnic mat" and the basket you had hand-woven for these special occasions.

"Come on, silly. Let's head back, the Thanator could still be around for all we know."

You pouted at his words, accepting the free hand he held out for you.

"What about our date?"

"We could do it at the stream closer to home."

"Okay fine, I can get behind that."

He ruffled your hair, admiring your feline-like eyes that squinted at the gleaming sun. Your nose scrunching at the force of it all.

Yeah, he'd never get tired of this.

His soul felt electrified whenever he was in your presence. You brought out a side of him that he concealed to try to live up to the mantle of "the golden child".

You were aware of the pressure and how tiring it made him feel. The demand was ultimately too much for someone as young as him to carry on his shoulders sometimes. But he looked up to his parents, and Y/n couldn't blame him for doing so.

He's your other half, and you'll always support him and his endeavors.

That's why you loved moments like these, not including the Thanator. But you felt reassured that he'd always have your back, as you would with his. It felt like second nature to you at this point.

Loving Neteyam.

This was the way of life for you both, and while it sometimes got a little messy - you always found your personal ways back to one another. Even when duty calls, even if you only catch glimpses of each other for a few days.

He would always leave a mark on you, whether it was the multitude of armbands he would weave intricately for you. The ones he'd whine for you to wear so your clan knew of his intentions as if they didn't already. Or perhaps a searing kiss full of yearning and a lifetime of promises.

Neteyam kept to himself a lot, due to his constant strenuous training he didn't mingle like other kids his age would. Sure maybe with the elders, but he didn't exactly have a core group of friends his age - only his family.

And you, you.

His normalcy amongst the ever so often brewing chaos. A semblance of ease always coursed through him even when you'd bask in each other's presence in silence. He greatly valued anytime he had with you, and when he wasn't with you. Neteyam would always think of you and worship the ground you walked on.

Like how you felt loving him was second nature, the thought of you circling his mind came as easy to him as the action of breathing.

That's who you are to each other, always filling in the cracks. Not leaving a rock unturned, words did not have to be spoken out loud to prove your inclination to one another. It was already written in both of your dispositions.

A devotion so boundless does come with conflict though.

But you didn't ponder on that for the time being, instead, you let Neteyam guide you back home. The date had yet to even properly start.

If only you knew he'd be called back to his duties as the chief's son.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄.

This wasn't the plan. All Lo'ak had wanted to do was see some sort of wreckage that had been left behind from the war his father had led.

You were going to stay behind but Tuk insisted she wanted you to come with them, and that you had to join her. There was no way you could deny her cute pout and glassy amber eyes.

So you did just that, you accompanied them.

Time seemed to escape you all, too enthralled by what was left of the wreckage from what seemed to be a demon-flying mechanism of sorts that had been brought down. The foliage that surrounded you all as Woodsprites twinkled and fluttered with the soothing breeze.

After you all got back down from the tree and found Kiri, it was time to make the trek back home.

"We really need to head back before the Eclipse comes kiddos. Come on, move it! Let's go!" You mused, urging them to quicken their pace.

You halted as Lo'ak and Spider peered down at a large footprint.

"What is it?" Kiri insisted.

"We're always supposed to be home by eclipse", Tuk worried. Y/n patted her head in comfort as she looked down at the marking molded into the mud.

"That's way too big for a human", Lo'ak noted.

"Avatars?" Spider questioned in response.

"Maybe..." Lo'ak trailed off as he looked around him.

Lo'ak was suddenly determined to find out who they had belonged too. "They're for sure not ours."

"What are you doing?" Kiri inquired, confused as to why they were straying away from the direction that would guide them back to base.

"Shh, tracking." He controlled his steps as you all reluctantly followed him.

"This is ridiculous, I am not letting Neteyam take the blame for this one," Y/n stressed. Knowing somehow he'd try to put the baggage of this situation back on him.

Tuk mumbled Neteyam, under her breath, and smiled. Making you ease your worries and grin down at her. You loved the bond they shared.

You cursed to yourself as you crouched down behind some leaves. Staying vigilant, your grip on your bow tightened as you made sure to be hyperaware of any sudden noises surrounding you all.

Nervously you bit down on your bottom lips as you saw figures up ahead. Avatars in military gear? This isn't looking good.

Kiri sensing your worries, placed a hand on your shoulder as she looked at the Avatars as well. "We are never supposed to come here."

"Dad is going to ground you-", She continued whispering quietly

"Shhh, shhh."

"- for life!" You nodded your head in agreement as you flicked Lo'aks ear in annoyance.

"Ow!" He muttered quietly glaring at you, only to cower down at your fierce glare.

"Yo, we gotta go check this out," Lo'ak turned back around and said to Spider, nodding his head over to the infamous old shack. The place where the demon (Spider's dad) and Jake Sully had fought.

Y/n hissed at them, grabbing Lo'ak by his ear (again). He smacked her arm at the action.

"You two dipshits are really pushing it this time!" Y/n fumed, if she wasn't on edge before - she's definitely dangling over it now.

"It's going to be fine, we'll be on our own merry way before you know it! Now please, let go of my ear!" Lo'ak insisted, you rolled your eyes before letting it go.

She knew better than to put a stop to his actions because she simply couldn't. Lo'ak was an unstoppable force once he sets his mind on doing something.

Kiri groaned quietly. "Skxwang."

Your gut had a bad feeling about all this. This needs to be called in. They weren't like your people. Avatars that were carrying a lot of deadly weaponry. The ones that would come from the raids ordered by your Olo'eyktan. These people were dangerous.

Great mother, you gotta get out of here.

Keeping a close eye on Lo'ak and Spider, you whispered to Kiri and Tuk.

"Get ready to head out." They nodded at you, starting to realise the seriousness of this situation.

Lo'ak seemed to have read your mind, as they made their way back to the rest of you guys - he pressed his comms button attached to his upper neck.

He conversed with his father, telling him what he could see about the Avatars. Their location and who he was with.

You listened in with your own comms, one that Jake and Neytiri had graciously gifted to you.

Neteyam growled at the mention of your name and Tuk's.

"Y/n is there?" Neteyam asked through clenched teeth. The grip he had on his Ikran tightened turning his once blue knuckles almost stark white.

"It's going to be fine, yawntu. We're moving out." You tried your best to reassure him.

Neteyam looked at his parents, they could only nod at him to help him regain focus. Neytiri had only seen such worry cross her son's features very few times, she too knew this was a dire situation.

Neteyam closed his eyes for a short moment, processing. "Okay, we're on our way. I'm taking our shortcut."

Lo'ak looked at you in question, but you ignored it. Now is not the time.

"Hurry, let's go!" You ushered them out from the bushes, trying to head as far away from the old shack as you possibly could. You made sure to stay behind all of them, constantly turning your head to look back.

"We're all going to be in so much trouble!" Kiri spoke in a hushed tone.

Lo'ak turned to his sister. "Kiri, stop."

"Guys, come on!" Spider said.

Tuk looked back at you all. "It's almost Eclipse, come on!"

You were about to agree with Tuk before a pair of arms reached out from the hanging branches - grabbing onto her small body.

Her shrill scream immediately shifted you into the headspace you'd enter when on raids. Clasping your bow and arrow you aimed it at the unknown Na'vi. Before you could release the arrow, more of them popped out from the foliage surrounding you all.

Hissing, you put your backs against one another as they closed in on you guys.

"Put it down, put it down!" They ordered.

There was a lot of commotion, and you noted how they were speaking in English and not your native tongue. They definitely aren't from here, even if their bodies say otherwise. A lot of commotion was occurring, but your eyes never strayed from Tuks.

Lo'ak cautioned you all, "Guys. Put it down, put it down." He spoke in your language, you'll tell him how smart he is for doing so later.

You snarled but followed him. You knew there were too many of them, there was no way of getting out of this unless one of you got hurt. Trying to strategize you thought of ways to work yourself all out of this situation. But it was too late, they apprehended all of you.

"Mawey, Mawey." Kiri tried to calm Tuk down through all the yelling and sudden movements.

"Shut up, don't move!"

"What have we here?" One of them said. But he seemed different to the rest, more commandeering, and authoritative. He was the leader for sure.

It seemed Y/n's thoughts not too long ago predicted what was about to happen.

Before you knew it. You knocked your forehead into the Na'vi whose hand lingered too long on your waist and gripped tightly on your braids.

He retaliated by smacking your head with the barrel of his gun. Laughing as you fell to the ground, face being pushed further into the floor by the sole of his boot that he was wearing.

He chuckled, pressing down harder earning a grunt of pain from you. "We got ourselves a feisty one, would you look at that!" His comrades laughed and jeered at his comment.

Your friends though, oh they were livid.

"Y/n!" Tuk wailed for you, as Lo'ak did his best to not cause mayhem.

"Get up." You groaned as he anchored you up by your braids. Y/n looked at her armband through her blurry vision, reminding herself to not cause more of a scene. For she feared what she could lose.

"Mawey, Mawey, I'm alright." You choked out, continuing like Lo'ak to speak Na'vi.

"As I was gonna say before I was so rudely interrupted." The leader once again spoke. He looked at each one of you inquisitively, before one of his people showed him Kiri's hands.

These were the times you were grateful that the Sully children wanted you to learn english alongside them. You caught on to what they were assuming about Kiri. All of you did.

Y/n barred her teeth as the idiotic man once again yanked on Kiri's hair, feeling panicky as their leader approached Lo'ak.

He demanded Lo'ak to show him his fingers, only to get flipped off. You could only watch in pride, he truly was his father's son.

As he continued to nag at Lo'ak you could only ponder what they wanted from all of you, how could they know these were the children of Toruk Makto?

"No!" Y/n protested as he put a knife to Lo'aks neck. But the man holding her captive only strengthened the grip he had on her head of hair. You knew he wouldn't disclose his dads whereabouts, and they didn't need to know either that they were already on their way to help you all out.

When the leader spoke in Na'vi it took everything in your willpower to not mock him for how butchered his pronunciation was. These were definitely people from the sky.

"Get away from her!" Y/n screamed as Spider and Lo'ak joined alongside her telling him to get the hell away from Kiri.

As he spoke to Spider, your eyes met Kiri's. She worriedly glanced at your bleeding head from the gun being slammed into you. But to soothe her you simply mouthed that you were okay.

You were all going to get out of this, alive.

"Miles?"

"Nobody calls me that," Spider said in response.

Your eyes widened in realisation, as did Lo'ak and Kiri's. The man standing before you was Miles Quaritch, Spider's father who was supposed to be deceased.

The sky demon who raged war on your homeland, the one who had killed your father in battle.

You were not about to let him take away any more of your family. Y/n wanted to kill him. How dare he have a second chance at life, in a world like Pandora which he completely takes for granted?

Quaritch stands up, gazing around. "We are standing by for extract, over."

Extract? No, they aren't here yet.

Y/n struggled to fight against the tight hold on her as they started to move away from where they'd been ambushed.

"Let us go!" Kiri begged, pain evident in her voice. You could only shake your head at her, not wanting for her to receive the same brutal treatment you'd just experienced.

"Shut up!" The bald ugly one seethed. Demon trash.

As you were shoved to the ground you could only look up at the clear skies above you. Silently, Y/n prayed to Eywa in hopes they'd be rescued before it was too late.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ˳೫˚

Eclipse was nearing, and the gleaming sun was starting to fade away and rest for the night. You only wished you could do the same, but being held as a "viable prisoner" unfortunately hinders that.

But not too far from where you and the rest waited to be saved, there were three people who landed on a tree branch. Hopping off their Ikrans, they sought to do just that. To save the ones they loved most.

"You stay with the Ikrans," Jake ordered his son.

Neteyam could only shut his eyes in annoyance, his stance shifting to convey his determination. There was a fire burning in his eyes, and it wasn't going to cease any time soon.

"Dad, I'm a warrior like you. I'm supposed to fight," He urged. No, he pleaded.

He could not just stand here and tend to the Ikrans. The mere thought of doing so was agonizing enough for him. To wait for you and his siblings to return safely.

The boy could only let his fingertips brush against the choker you had made and gifted him only the night before.

"Neteyam," Neytiri understood her son's worries. But she already had more than enough on her plate.

Jake gave a slight shake of his head, "I won't say it again."

"But dad! She's-", He tried to counteract. Sway his parents somehow, his hands yearned for revenge. The anguish on the tip of his tongue, his bow weighing on his back like a ton of bricks.

"I know, son. And I will get her back too. Just, stay here." Jake sighed, placing his hand on Neteyam's shoulder for a moment.

Before Neteyam could try to rebut, his parents had already begun venturing off methodically.

"Yes sir." He muttered to himself, walking back over to his Ikran and placing a gentle hand on it.

He had to think of his own plan.

Meanwhile, the bioluminescence beginning to flourish right before your eyes made your heart stumble on itself. She didn't know who was going to arrive first anymore. Her saviors, or soon-to-be tormentors.

Your thoughts continued to remain astray as the rain pelted down on your skin. Y/n did not let it show how the water seeping into her open wound located at the side of her head had caused her immense pain. Instead, she clenched her jaw and continued to watch over her family.

Y/n's ears perked at the static coming from a set of comms, something, something. 3 minutes.

She had to resort to something else then, she has to devise her own plan.

Quaritch though, couldn't shake a feeling that something was awry.

"Watch our 6."

You tried to angle your head to try to watch over Spider and Kiri. Only to fall short at the harsh tug of your ear.

"Keep your eyes forward."

You glared into nothingness, Y/n had never felt so utterly disposable.

Neytiri could only watch on as she pressed herself further into the tree. She had a clear sight of all of you. Something untamed bubbled within her having to witness her children in such a vulnerable state.

Then you heard it, Neytiri's call. Sounding again and again. To any person it'd sound like one of the many animals dominating the jungle, but you knew otherwise.

Catching on to this, Lo'ak gave an affirmative nod to all of you.

It's time.

Kiri prayed to Eywa, hoping to assure her mother's safety in whatever was about to ensue. But you knew the cards had been dealt, now it was time for all of you to follow along.

Instantaneously a familiar arrow sunk into the head of the man who had been guarding Kiri and Spider.

"Contact made!"

Frazzled by the gunshots, you heard a faint call of Lo'aks name. Suddenly a green mist evaded your senses.

Y/n knew now was her chance to escape.

She felt it was only right to let karma be her bitch. As soon as the chamber of the gun the man who had been guarding Y/n had emptied. He maneuvered to replace it, but before he could get far enough - you played your card.

Grasping the front of the gun, ignoring the burn from the gunpowder. You slammed it into the perpetrator's chin, making him stumble backward. Closing your fist, you landed a punch to his face for good measure.

"Tuk, race. Y/n, come on!" Lo'ak yelled for you.

As you began to run towards him, a hand wrapped around your ankle making you propel onto the dirt beneath you. Groaning, you tried to crawl away far enough to push yourself up. But something had glinted in your peripheral.

Your knife. It must have dropped from whoever had them after Neytiri shot her first arrow. You'd thank Neteyam later for having polished your knife when he added new decorative beads to it.

Choking for air, your fingertips brushed against it but a sheer force pushed your arms away from it. You snarled in pain, having reached your limit with this pathetic demon.

Channeling everything you'd learned in all your training back with your clan, you ignored the searing ache. The back of your head met his face with a sharp force.

In his moment of weakness, you scrambled for your knife. This time successfully getting it in your grasp.

You crouched in a defensive stance before him, letting out a vicious hiss as you clutched onto your knife.

"You're gonna pay-", He started to say.

You gasped, both your eyes trailing down to the arrow now wedged in his chest. He could only let out a low groan, trying to advance toward you.

Only he went flying back, another arrow hitting him dead in the forehead. But they weren't from Neytiri.

Pivoting you let out something akin to a choked sob or heave, "Neteyam!"

There he stood strong and mighty as ever. Hidden amongst the nature the jungle provides.

He'd never heard you utter his name like that. The eldest son was so used to it leaving your plush lips in either a tone of endearment or humor. Always enraptured in strings of warmth and grace.

But the way you had just spoken his name, rooted him into the ground. Neteyam never heard you so debilitated, so disoriented. It made his skin crawl in agony.

The gunshots sucked him right back in. He lunged towards you, pulling you away from the mayhem.

"Na'vi!" Someone behind you hollered.

"Rot in hell!" Your scream was directed at your tormentor, you hoped he was still alive to hear those words.

Neteyam pushed you behind him, loading his bow. But before he could shoot again you both were tackled down by Jake.

"Go! Go! Go!" He shouted, pushing you two forward as gunshots rang out.

All of you found temporary solace behind a tree trunk, Jake's arm reached out checking over you both. His eyes widened at how beaten down you looked.

"Follow me! Ready? Ready!" Jake instructed you both. This time it wasn't training though, it was life or death.

Jake stepped out, firing a few bullets at the enemies.

"Move!" Jake bellowed.

You jumped into action, pumping your legs as you run. The chilled air wooshed in your ears and nipped at your cheeks. You hauled yourself over the roots of the trees engulfing you. Narrowly, missing the gunshots as you reminded yourself to not look back.

It didn't sit well with Jake how he was the one ahead and you two were behind him. "Come on!" He yelled.

Neteyam grabbed your hips, pushing you over an abnormally larger root than the rest of the others, understanding the pain you must be in right now.

He knew you were more than capable of getting over it. He just wouldn't be able to get over himself if you sustained even more injuries. It also gave him great comfort being able to see you right in front of him.

You don't know how long you ran for, only finally coming to a stop in a small clearing. Falling to your knees, you tried to catch your breath.

Neteyam had so much to say as he looked down at you, but he physically was in too much shock at the moment. So he chose to settle down beside you, bringing you into his arms carefully.

Jake brought you two once again - to a tree. There you leaned against it, waiting in silence for everyone else.

Soon the rustling of leaves grabbed your attention. Jake held a warning hand to you both, signaling you guys to stay put.

Lo'ak and Tuk made their way to you guys. Giving each other tender hugs, you graciously thanked Eywa for keeping them safe.

As Lo'ak leaned his head on your shoulder, he mumbled an apology to you.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you behind. Tuk was terrified, and I had to get her out of there."

You patted his head, allowing him to lean back and look at you.

"You did what was right, Lo'ak. I have no ill feelings toward you. I'm just grateful you're both okay." Y/n reassured him, as she kissed Tuk on the forehead.

Movement suddenly came from behind you, Jake pushed you and his children behind him - again.

Breaking out from the foliage was a worrisome Kiri and Neytiri.

"Mom!" Tuk cried, running to them. You sluggishly followed her.

Neytiri brought you, girls, into a hug as she too thanked Eywa numerous times that you were all here. She'd never had a reminder as harsh as this.

What she could have just lost.

Neteyam gravitated towards you after Jake embraced both him and Lo'ak.

He looked over at you, eyes and hands trailing.

"We need to get you patched up, grandma can help." He whispered to you, hands hovering over your bruised face.

Inwardly, Neteyam was seething. So many rhetorical questions were prodding at his brain. How you were already wounded when he first saw you? What else had they done to you?

Y/n crooned - "No, no. I'm fine, I'm okay."

"You are not!" He grunted.

His eyes looked dazed, far away. Neteyam was still in a state of terror. Not only had his siblings been put in danger, but his partner in crime as well. His person, was right in the thick of it.

He didn't want to linger on what could have happened if he and his parents came any later. He didn't want to fathom the thought of not just Spider being abducted, but all of you as well.

If his arrow had missed, if anything had gone remotely wrong...

As if you could read his mind, somehow capture his thoughts. Your thumb brushed over his cheek. Your other hand moving to cradle the back of his head as your hand sunk into his braids. Treading your fingers through it you leaned your head against his.

"I'm right here, Neteyam. We're all going to be okay."

Neteyam could only nod as he brought you into another longing embrace.

He'd do whatever it takes for you to stay by each other's sides. Whatever it takes, he will always protect you. Even when he is gone from this world, he vowed to himself right then and there - that he'd still look out for you.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄.

Awa'atlu grew on you over time. It took a while, a lot of adjusting, and taking new things in stride. But you made it this far now, and you felt like maybe this place was truly becoming your home.

It truly felt like a juxtaposition, from the forest - now to the water. Somehow it brought you comfort, Eywa constructed such beautiful places. The community around you, while hostile at first - was also beginning to warm up to all of you too.

Alongside your mother, you had followed the Sullys as you seek out a new place that would hopefully grant you Uturu.

It was truly a challenge, having to stay hidden to keep the people back in your clan safe. You knew it was the right call.

But now the tides were pulling themselves in, dread encompassing the place you were still trying to gain more understanding of.

Your luck was running thin. All you wanted to do was help Lo'ak save Payakan. To be there for your people, your new clan.

It seemed the world had other plans though.

Now you were stuck on the demon ship. Handcuffed to the rails alongside Lo'ak, Tsireya, and Tuk. Snarling you checked the restraints out, you realised you'd have to cut into it to be released. Dammit.

"Be brave," Lo'ak tried to remain optimistic.

Y/n could only hope that Neteyam had gotten back to safety far away from all this.

All your ears perked up, hearing the distinct calls of the Metkayina clan. You could see them in the distance flying on their Skimwings towards the ship.

"Na'vi inbound!" Someone yelled.

"Push left, spread out." Another commanded them.

Tuk had faith, they were all going to get out of this alive. "Dad," she called out to him.

"It's Sully."

Quaritch ripped the comms off from Lo'ak as the Metkayina came to a still in the water a few hundred yards away from you all.

"Jake, tell your friends to stand down. If you want your kids back, you'll come out alone." Quatrich asserted, grasping his gun and pressing it to the side of Lo'aks head.

Tsireya and you yelled for him to stop, whilst Tuk began to cry.

"You know better to test my result."

Y/n wished she could listen in, but she looked around for her mother instead. She noted how Neytiri and Melìew were nowhere to be seen. Must be up in the sky, hovering.

Quaritch was running out of patience, he moved the gun to your head instead.

"She took one of ours, maybe it's time to take one of yours. Like I said, do not test me!" You held your breath, trying not to make any sudden sound or movement.

Your blood ran cold, Y/n did not want to die this way. Especially not now, not when she has so much more reasons to live and experiences to fulfill.

Through gritted teeth, Quaritch challenged Jake. "Do I make myself clear?"

He stepped back, the weight of the gun easing off your head. Y/n looked on to where Jake and the Olo'eyktan and Tsahìk were having a heated discussion.

It gave you a moment to ponder on Quaritch's words from before. She hadn't killed one of the sky people. But Neteyam did.

In the midst of all the fighting, it must have looked to them like it had been her doing. Whatever, that was the least of her worries at this time being.

Quaritch once again spoke to Jake through the stolen comms. "Offers beginning to expire. What's it gonna be?"

Y/n looked to Lo'ak after hearing him curse quietly, following his eyes you saw his father pushing on - alone.

"Easy shot." One of the fake Na'vi beckoned.

"You hit him now, they attack. Wait until he's on board."

Lo'ak and yourself let out frustrated groans through harshly gritted teeth. You were defenseless.

Abruptly water shot up as a familiar looking Tulkun shot out from beneath the ocean.

"Payakan", Tuk yelled out.

Water rained down on you all as he launched himself on top of the ship. You watched in astonishment as he wreaked havoc.

"Argh!" You grunted, pushing a nearby soldier to Payakan. Lo'ak mimicked your actions as he called out for his brother.

"Yeah!" Lo'ak whooped.

"Holy shit," You gaped as Payakan deflected the harpoon and dove back into the ocean.

The sound of gunshots had your ears ringing as you watched the Metkayina charge at the sky people. Sighing in relief as you saw your mother on her Ikran flying side by side with Neytiri.

Y/n could only observe as the sky people hopped on their own Ikrans and flew upwards. While everyone fought each other you used this to your advantage, trying to break free from your restraints.

Neytiri and your mother flew over the ship, looking down at their children in horror. Both of them shot arrows into the gunships that attempted to fly into the battle.

The ship suddenly jerked, before moving at a far faster pace. Shrieking as you were suddenly suspended in the air, before knocking back down onto the ship.

Water sprayed at all of you on impact. Lo'ak let out a pained groan as he pushed himself up, kicking at the rails.

"Are you okay," he asked all of you. You all nodded, before following his motions and kicking the rail as well.

Alarms sounded all around the ship. You needed to get out of here.

Suddenly, Tuk gasped gleefully. "Neteyam!"

Your head whipped to the side, distracted by pushing at the railing.

He held a knife in his head, grinning - "Hey baby brother, you need some help?"

"You're ridiculous," Y/n mused. Her heart soared at the sight of her boyfriend unharmed.

"Shut up, come on!" Lo'ak replied, looking over his shoulders to see no one was paying attention to them.

He quickly cut Tsireya out of her restraints, and moving onto Tuk he did the same.

Now it was your turn.

He gazes into your eyes, fighting off the instinct to caress your face. Cutting you out of your restraints, he could finally breathe easier. His hands hovered over your wrists seeing the angry red marks that now tainted your deep blue skin.

He looked to Tsireya and you, "Get tuk out of here."

Nodding, you grasped onto Tuk's arm running to the edge of the ship. You turned around as Neteyam stumbled towards you, eyes squinting seeing Lo'ak had rushed the other way.

"Lo'ak!" He called for his brother, making his way back to him as the younger brother grabbed a gun. You watched them bicker back and forth, rolling your eyes at their idiotic antics.

"Tsireya go, we'll meet you there," Y/n said as she took her knife out.

"No, Y/n!" Tuk pouted at you.

Leaning down you kissed her forehead, "I'll be back soon".

Y/n nodded at Tsireya before making her way over to the two Skxwangs.

"Come on bro, we can't leave him!"

You tugged on Neteyam's arm, "What's going on?"

"We've gotta get Spider!" Lo'ak exclaimed.

Y/n tilted her head up to meet Neteyam's eyes. He look troubled, but he knew if he didn't follow - Lo'ak would venture on this mission by himself.

It's just, something felt off.

You knew in those few seconds, Neteyam had the same gut feeling you did. It wasn't that you didn't want to save Spider, but the circumstances of everything were already against you all. Y/n had a terrible feeling about this, and the last time she had this feeling was at the Old Shack.

But you weren't going to leave them behind. Looking around, you also decided to pick up a gun.

Neteyam, realising the intent of your actions fought against them weakly. "No, go with Tuk."

You stared him down. He knew you already made up your mind.

Sighing, he pushed you in front of him. Each of you crept further into the ship, jumping on a nearby wall and climbing to the ceiling.

Y/n tuned out the sounds of the people running beneath her frantically. Choosing to continue to move along.

The three of you made your way onto some sort of connecting platform. Lo'ak put a finger to his lips, before pointing down below. Neteyam and Y/n peered over the edge, seeing Spider being guarded by multiple men.

As they rounded the corner, Neteyam signed "Jump down when I do".

In a matter of seconds he leaped down, you and Lo'ak closely following behind. You pushed one of the men into the nearest wall, immediately slicing his throat.

A hand came at your shoulder and gripped it harshly, but you quickly grabbed it as you turned around. Slamming the man into the ground you leaned down, holding the man's head - you stabbed your knife in his chest.

As you got back up, Neteyam suddenly pushed you out of the way. He grabbed the man who was charging at you and threw him down the ship.

Silence. Your adrenaline had your hands shaking, but before anyone could say a word - one of the men got up grasping his gun.

Lo'ak bet him to it, firing a bunch of rounds and shooting the man down.

Your eyes widened in shock, "Bro come on", Spider called.

Neteyam put his hand in yours, examining his brother.

"Let's go."

Neteyam tugged you along, jumping down as you all tried to figure out a way to get off this ship.

Spider thanked you all, but you saw Quaritchs right-hand man in the near distance.

"No!" Neteyam shouted, aiming the gun Lo'ak was pointing at him down to the ground. Shots were fired at you all as you crouched down rushing away from the henchmen.

"Give me that," Neteyam grabbed his gun whilst you held yours. You both peeked out, as you reached a corner. Firing in the general area the bullets were coming from.

"Go, Go, Go!" You and Neteyam yelled at the two boys.

Y/n checked behind them, witnessing them successfully leaping off the ship.

"Go, Neteyam! I am right behind you." Y/n urged, continuing to shoot at the men.

A deep guttural growl escaped him.

He wanted to complain, but the sound of more gunshots cut him off before he could do so.

He headed in the same direction Lo'ak and Spider had gone. Jumping into the ocean, he waited for you.

You looked to where the men were reloading the guns. It was now or never.

Right before you moved to leap as well, someone suddenly body-slammed you. Screaming at the impact, you desperately tried to reach for the gun that got knocked out of your hands.

A soldier held you down, and the bubble gum she had been chewing - popped. Giving you a deathly glare she dug her fingernails into your skin, drawing blood.

Y/n squirmed as she tried to resist and fight her way out of her deathly grip.

"You killed a good man in the woods. Like Colonel said, you took one of ours." She spat at you.

Any response you could have uttered was cut off by your own knife being plunged into your lower chest.

Y/n wanted to scream, to do anything but succumb to the faith that had just been handed to her. But the pain was excruciating, nothing like she'd ever felt before in her entire life.

"Rot in hell." She sneered at you.

It sounded ironic. The words you had screamed in a moment of triumph, resinated bitterly now.

She rolled you, pushing you over the edge as you plummeted into the water.

Struggling to stay afloat, all you could hear was your friends and lovers muffled cheering. Y/n could only smile to herself, at least they were all okay.

Everything else began to blur from then on, you remember them realising you were wounded. How Neteyam had never looked so disoriented in his life.

Oh, how the situations have flipped.

This wasn't the plan.

How dare he jump for safety and leave you to die? It should have been him.

"N-Neteyam." You choked out, your chest rising up and down rapidly. Y/n was grappling to stay afloat as her own hand tried to cover her stab wound.

Neteyam's heart shattered at the sight of you as he held you above water. "Shhh, save your energy. You're going to be just fine."

He took you away from prying eyes, keeping a lookout as he called for his Ilu. Lo'ak, Tsireya, and Spider were right behind him.

"Bro, we can take her to that rock over there." Lo'ak pointed, not too far but enough distance to separate you all from the sinking ship.

Neteyam nodded, continuing to hold you upright and letting you lean on him.

It felt like a million years, his entire lifetime seeming like it passed before reaching the rock.

With the help of everyone else, they lifted you on it, carrying you and settling you down.

"Watch her head, watch her head," Neteyam repeated. Pushing wet hair strands away from your face that was scrunched up in discomfort

"That could have gone a lot worse, yawntu." You quietly said.

Neteyam's smile was grim, suddenly taken back to your date in the jungle that had been interrupted by that mighty Thanator and his own personal duties back at home.

"Huh, yeah. It really could have. But it didn't" Neteyam stuttered out.

His chuckles that followed his words were forced, vision going murky at the tears that threatened to burst through his facade.

He knew even as Tsireya stuffed the stab wound with moss from the rock it was too late. There was too much blood, so much blood. For the very first and last time, he was too late.

Too late to save you, and now he didn't know what to do.

Your end is near.

Before there was an opportunity to aid you. To get you to safety - to save you from harm's way. But this time there was absolutely nothing he could do. He'd never felt so openly inferior.

All he could do was let Eywa retrieve you peacefully.

Your cries of pain tore into him, tears gushing down your face as he hushed you and tried to wipe them all away.

It devastated him to know there wasn't any way for him to feel your pain. He never wanted this to ever happen to you.

He truly thought that this move away from all the danger and war had bought you both more time.

He was a fool for thinking that life would bestow that upon him.

The sudden wooshing of Ikrans wings mingled in the tense air as Neytiri and Melìew landed on the rock. Jake, hopped off his Skimwing.

"Oh great mother, no! My daughter, my daughter!" Your mother wept as she fell onto her knees by your side.

Neteyam gripped your hand, squeezing it in reassurance.

"Mom, I did it. I'm truly a warrior." You struggled, your breath seeming to escape you quicker than you thought.

"You silly girl. You always have been. You always will be." Your mother soothed you, her hands holding your face and caressing your hair.

You meekly smiled at her, looking at everyone who surrounded you. Neytiri silently cried as Jake held her in his arms. It gave you a sense of comfort, through the pair - you saw yourself and Neteyam.

Y/n glanced at Jake, "Thank you for everything."

Jake could only bend down, pressing a hand to your leg and giving it a squeeze. He had so much to say. How wonderful you are at everything you do. The way you gave every training lesson your all. And the way you treated his son. But he had a feeling you already knew.

Neytiri moved to the free space above your head, gripping onto one of your mum's hands as she pressed a tender kiss to your forehead.

You would always be her honourary daughter, and she knew she was about to lose you. All she could do now was be here and try to give you some comfort.

"Neteyam?"

"Yes, Y/n?" Neteyam peered down at you, and you returned his gaze.

"Are we going back home?" She whispered.

He could see the light he adored so much fading away from Y/n's eyes. The faint wheeze in your breathing, and your skin losing its colour.

"Yeah we are, we're gonna finish that picnic date. You gotta prepare your basket okay? Don't forget the picnic blanket." His tears were free-falling at this point, but he no longer had the willpower to care about saving face.

All he cared about at this moment was you.

Numb to the feelings consuming your body, Y/n's smile widened. “Okay 'Teyam, can we bring our Ikrans?"

Neteyam forced himself to nod, keeping his tone of voice upbeat. "You bet, Y/n. I'll even race you."

You coughed as you giggled. Neteyam's frown deepened, as he cradled your face.

For the very last time, you nuzzled into the warmth his open palm provided. Taking in his faint yet distinct scent of salt and nature.

Peace poured into your heart and soul.

"I'm gonna win. and I'm always going to love you. I love you, and your wonderful family. I love you, I see you." You rambled, truly hoping you conveyed your last words well.

"I will always see you," Neteyam murmured, taking all of you in as well.

And then the light faded.

Tsireya was the first to realise this, she looked down at your blood coating her hands as she started to cry. Lo'ak held onto her, and Neteyam - knowing damn well he was about to need it.

"Y/n? Y/n. Y/n!" Neteyam wailed out a gut-wrenching cry for help.

He couldn't believe his eyes, he couldn't come to terms that you were no longer here.

You were with the great mother now.

"No, Y/n. Please! Come back to me!" He leaned his forehead on yours, closing his eyes tight. He prayed that when he'd open them, this would all be a ruthless lie.

That you'd be able to actually go on that other date. Live on to be each other's mates in the eyes of Eywa. To be able to witness and create a family of your own.

You'd be able to grow and flourish. Together.

His hopes and dreams were crushed the moment your last breath escaped you. Anguish and rage now consumed him.

They took you away from him. Robbed him of a life that was supposed to be spent being by your side, your eternal protector.

As his eyes opened, yours stayed the same.

His fingertips flittered over them, before closing your eyes.

Neteyam could no longer bare to look at what he had lost.

His soul, now as empty as your weightless gaze.

The cries of his family and your mother echoed in his ears, yet he maintained a tight hold on your cold hand.

This couldn't have gone any worse.

But it simply had. And now you were gone.

One with the ocean, one with the sea. Neteyam liked to think and believe they had welcomed you in harmony.

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my taglist. ♡

#junie's library 📚✧.*#avatar the way of water #neteyam x reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam sully #neteyam sully x reader #atwow #avatar imagine #avatar x reader #atwow spoilers #avatar 2 #avatar fanfiction #avatar #dude i literally. cried while writing half of this. i really hope you guys enjoy this and give it a lot of love :')#୨୧ ⁓ junie's corner ⁓ ୨୧ #like u have no idea how much thought 🧠🧠 i put into this whole beast of a story..

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halcyone-of-the-sea · 1 year

Text

Right Person,

Pairing: Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x F!Reader

Synopsis: There are few things more heartbreaking than realizing the bitter truth. He was going to be absolutely extraordinary.

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Heavy angst, blood & gore, descriptions of injuries, canon typical, hurt/(no) comfort, major character death

A/N: This was a request, but I just realized the account was deactivated - sooo, I can only apologize to everyone for this lmfao.

*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*

You met him when the blood had already stained right through your uniform, flesh going crusty with dried crimson and adhered gore. The skin visible had become a mosaic of horror, and the long fog over your eyes only spoke fractions of what you had seen in the long hours you were administering what little help you could. Soldiers of all colors and backgrounds who, no matter what you happen to do, were never making it in the first place.

Spilled guts—missing legs and arms. And you were stupid. Hopelessly, foolishly, stupid for wishing they would be able to pull through.

How many times have you seen the exact same thing? Scores. How many times had the patient come back? Barely ever.

You had been the only one still awake when he had come into the medical tent, and even then you had been giving doses of dwindling morphine and checking bandages.

“Broken shoulder,” your lips had murmured numbly, jotting down notes onto the clipboard in your hand. The motionless man in the cot below you was barely even breathing, a shiver-inducing jump in his chest was the only indication of life. “Shattered clavicle and internal bleeding of the abdomen from a knife wound.”

You registered the shifting of feet near the entrance, but the lives bleeding away in front of you were far more important. There was only so much you could do with limited supplies and fellow medics that were more tired than dogs after a race. It had been days of recurring assault on camp and you weren't sure how many more people you could lose before reinforcements decided to show up.

A throat awkwardly clears and snaps you from your scribbles of desperately needed medical materials on the top of the patient report page. You blink down at the list with a stiff swallow of saliva and quivering fingers.

That…that wasn’t supposed to be written there.

Shaking your head, you put your pen into one of your vests’ many pockets before moving back towards the entrance, walking the aisle between rows of cots all occupied by the men and women in the worst condition.

“I don’t have painkillers or extra bandages to spare.” Your voice is scratchy and laced with slightly discernible unease. “If it’s not life-threatening, I can’t help beyond stitches and washing out the wound.”

Passing a large shadow that looms in the entrance, you shuffle to your desk and toss the clipboard down to your desk of metal and strewn papers. An empty coffee cup filled with syringe needles that you have yet to discard safely. Unclipping the past patient's file, you send it into the right stack only to take another from the left and set it in place.

Taking only a moment to stare down at it, you place your hands on the desk and lick your lips, breathing shallowly.

“I don’t mean to interrupt, Ma’am.” Scottish—you’d heard one barking orders on the radio over the course of the attacks; leading Marines and planting detonations on vehicles as you had run from one body to another in the background.

Even covered you once.

You remember a hand on your arm and a flash of blue eyes—a mere glance of a look before you had spotted a woman with her entire left shoulder missing from a sniper round. You’d darted off without a second thought as to the brilliant shade of blue and the concern that had lived blatantly in the dilated pupils.

The cross patch on your shoulder felt heavier that day, and every day after, but at least when you wore it you didn’t have to look at it.

You blink back to the present and turn your head slightly to the side.

He was standing a few feet into the tent, holding something in his large hands that you glance at before your gaze slides to his face. Strong jaw, an arching scar over the chin, and a brunette mohawk to go along with the stubble of his lower face. Deep-set brows that inlay with blue.

The same Scot, then.

He seems to shuffle on his feet when you stare at him in tired confusion, not spotting any injuries that would need your attention along the built form of his body. An awkward laugh pierces your heart.

“Ya missed supper,” the man starts, holding up his hand to show you the twin bags of rations he holds nonchalantly. “Had a hunch you might need it, don’t wanna be up and about without a filled stomach, aye? Far past dark, now, y’know.” A pause. “No one’s seen you for hours, Ma’am. Thought I’d check up.”

You slowly bring a hand to your nose bridge and sigh deeply, feeling the digging eyes stuck on you as they crease. Standing straight, the words exit sullenly as your gut twists.

Dark already? No, I could have sworn it was only one o'clock…Has that much time really passed?

“No time, you can have them.” Grabbing your clipboard, you rub at your neck before trying to force back your increasingly heavy limbs.

“I really think you should eat.” Someone whimpers from down the right row, and your head immediately perks in that direction—feet just beginning to carry you over when fingers hook around your upper arm. As still as stone, yet in no way digging into you.

Your head snaps up in shock.

There’s a moment of complete stillness when you're brought back to the familiar instance from days prior, staring up into bright cerulean like sapphires. You don’t know why, but as you focus on this Scot, your shoulders lose some of their tension; lungs find the refreshment of air a bit easier.

It wasn’t a hard face to look into—not covered with blood like yours or your patients’ visages, either. That at least was a blessing. A kind face.

“You dinnae look healthy, Ma’am. Please.” He levels a stare, large head tilted in sincerity with a bare-bones smile forced to his lips causing his scar to shift. You watch it mutely. His hand was warm, so much like a weighted blanket it nearly left your lashes fluttering. “Just a few wee bites is all I’m askin’.”

“I…” you trail, voice gradually seeping out its sure-fire tone and confidence to leave behind a meek resemblance. Glancing at the men and women in your care, your expression tightens. “I can’t be gone long.”

“Ten minutes.” Sighing, you allow the Scot to lightly drag you outside, holding open the fabric that serves as an entrance door before the fingers over your bicep go to rest on the small of your back.

You had yet to notice, but you hadn’t even asked the man his name.

“Here,” handing you one of the two ration packs, you carefully grab the brown object, peeking inside to spy some concoction of mush. Potatoes and veggies, maybe? A small laugh echoes from the man beside you and you turn to look.

It had been a while since you’d heard someone laugh. Your feet almost give out under you from the sound—a deep rumble of thunder. You’re met with a quirk of a lip, though your own face stays in a state stuck between shell shock and panic.

“I’d say it tastes better, Bonnie, but I’d jus’ be lyin’ to ya.”

“It's alright,” you mutter in retaliation, shaking your head before grabbing the plastic utensil sticking out of the goop. But at the moment you can’t seem to force your appetite to you, though your stomach groans to fill it with sustenance.

The both of you don’t walk far—only a few feet to a small rocky area where you sit a respectful distance away and rest your backs on the stone.

You listen to the brunette eat, ravenous, as though a wild boar was only a hand’s reach to your right. Everyone in camp was hungry. So why can’t you just eat? With your legs crossed, you look down at the portion in your lap with roving eyes.

It was all so far removed. The only thing you knew for certain was that there was blood on your hands; staining your clothes and in your hair. Even the chill of the moon didn’t stop the heat at the back of your neck, though if anyone asked you would say you were as cold as snow.

“You know,” the stocky man speaks, and your ears twitch at the sound, “I don’t think I remember what it is they all call you. Price mentioned your file, but I only had time to give it a glance over.”

You tell him and send a small smile over. It doesn’t meet your eyes.

“Ah, that’s it. Bonnie name for a Bonnie girl.” A hand meets your field of view. “Sergeant MacTavish. Soap or Johnny’s just fine as well—m’not picky, least when I know ya.”

Shaking Soap’s hand was a sullen affair. You were sure he could feel your pulse racing; how your fingers shook but for whatever reason the Scot chose not to mention it. On the other hand, simply having the option to feel living skin was a blessing.

“Price spoke of me?” Murmuring, you let your hand go back to your lap, watching the best you can as Soap sends you soft looks as if he knew talking made your throat swell up. “Haven’t seen the man in years.”

“Hm,” the Scot nodded his head, taking the last bite out of his food before folding up the package. “Said there’s not a better medic I’d want along. Figured I should take the Old Man’s word for it.” A sly look is sent your way.

Body pausing, you say nothing as your lips thin, letting a small silence settle before shifting.

Don’t feel like a good medic.

Soap stares at you, watching with increasingly tightening shoulders. He speaks lowly, “Not gonna eat, then, are you?”

A head is shaking before you can stop it, “Not hungry.” You thought you could do this, but all you can think about is the soldiers you had to mark down as KIA; the staggering number that grows and will continue to grow.

It was utter helplessness. A sense of failure in not only your job but in your humanity. Was this not your purpose? To save lives? Why…why couldn’t you?

“It’s not your fault, Hen, you know that…right?” Your breath stills as Soap’s brows pull in, though he already knew the answer to his question. A blind man could see it; his hands twitch in his lap at your numbed expression. “You’re doin’ more than anyone would have expected of ya. Most of the others here owe you their lives, Bonnie.”

Perhaps it was the way your scowl grew at that, or how Soap’s own comradery was taking a hit, but his chest ached at your swift denial of your own skill. He’d seen you work—he knew that if you weren’t here scores more would be in body bags right now. The Scot swallowed and bit at his lip as you spoke.

“Tell that to the stack of deaths that I have to record.” Blue eyes look to the ground for a moment with a clenched jaw. “Doesn’t seem like I’m doing much of anything.”

The night chill wraps around them both like a storm, neither knowing what to say and not wanting to perpetuate the electricity in the air. You take down air through your nostrils as Soap grunts, messing with his hands in his lap mutely. But the utter aloneness is clawing at your throat, and even with this brief interaction, you know the Scot would never force you to speak to him about all of it.

You glare at the ration pack strangled in your grip.

“Three more are going to die by tomorrow. We don’t have the resources.” Johnny brings a hand to his head, running it over the locks before nodding stiffly. But no one can see his heart drop.

“Who?” The words are almost lost in the breeze.

“Silas, Kara, and Edward.” Soap sucks down a long breath as you stare off into the tree line, feeling the hard rock up your spine as you slightly hunch over. “I…I don’t have enough materials to treat them all if we’re stuck here any longer…”

Your trail, but the insinuation is enough. Johnny’s jaw clenches.

“What do you think we should do?” The question isn’t malicious, but rather a genuine inquiry and a plea for an opinion. “If we leave, they’ll pick us off one by one—sure as all Hell.”

“You want the truth,” you speak slowly, seeing a bird dance in the sky to catch bugs in its tiny beak; twirling like a dancer of silver light and sharp wings. Soap grunts an affirmation. “Run.”

Eyes widened.

“...Run? Steamin’ Jesus, run where? It’s all mountains and open fields.” You shrug, shifting your hand to stare at the dried blood in the lines of your palms. It comes out in a low murmur.

“Anywhere—everywhere. Getting taken out one by one for a purpose is better than dying here for nothing.” Soap sees the look with increasing concern, hand itching at the back of his neck in a soothing motion.

“What about the wounded, Hen?” He asks you, and just as numbly, you respond after a burning starts in the back of your eyes. “We can’t leave ‘em ‘ere.”

“They’re all going to die.” Air goes still. “All of them have already gone too long without proper care. Infections are rampant.” You shake now, staring down at your hand with horror; you had always known the truth. Tried to run from it like a fool. “Internal pooling of blood. Failing organs. Necrosis. I’m not good enough too…”

Life was cruel.

“I’m just not good enough.” Your lips waivered, nose burning with smoke as your cheeks go hot with self-hatred. It wasn’t fair.

Johnny was moving before he truly knew what he could do to help, shuffling closer and grabbing at your hand. His grip totally encompassed yours, covering the blood and the sullied flesh from view.

“Hey, now,” he begins, mouth opening and closing as if not sure what to say. He can’t attest to watching over patients and seeing them all die one by one—sure he’d seen fellow soldiers fall, die slow deaths, but never had he had a wealth of skill to know exactly how to help and then see it fail. Johnny’s face pulled tight at the thought; it was horrible the things you’d had to do these last few days. “None ‘O that, ya hear?”

You feel tears dribble down your chin, pitter-pattering into the ration pack as your nose sniffles; turning to stare pathetically into Soap’s brilliant blues. At the feeling of his firm and grounding grip, the world seems to slowly come back into focus—you listen to the pulse that sings under his epidermis like it’s a lifeline.

“I can’t help them—”

“I think what you need is a bit of a rest, yeah?” Johnny smiles lightly, thumb running back and forth over your knuckles, fingers massaging your pulse point. Your eyes go buggy, arm twitching. The Sergeant lets his tone fall, covering his words with sickly care. “Let me get all that off your little face first, though. Can’t have all that covering up your skin—you’ll get sick from somethin’ no doubt.”

As your mouth quivers when it opens itself, whatever sentence you were going to say was halted when Johnny reached for the water bottle held in its pack from the strap on his belt. An already stained rag follows after, and before you can process what’s happening, a damp cloth is swiping at the swell of your cheeks.

Your skin heats, lips close, as your pulse spikes.

Soap looks incredibly focused, taking delicate swipes like a feather along the bridge of your nose as tears continue to slip past your ducts in gross betrayal. But the rag is just as quick to catch them and soft-set eyes to send you a glance. His free hand rubs circles into your shoulder, and you shiver in retaliation.

That…that feels good.

“How we doin’ then?” The Scot’s gentle care was a surprise to you; for such a man as gruff looking as him, you’d expect a comment to suck it up more than this. Johnny pauses his cleaning, face so close you can feel his breath drying the dampness of your skin. His dark brows crease. “You alright, Little Lady?”

“...I’m okay.” It’s a reflex to say it, but the Sergeant knows better.

“No, you’re not.” A tiny smile leaves you shaking again. “Talk to me. It’s just us.” Soap glances to the treeline, trying a hand at a teasing inflection. “Well, and the damned wild beasts.”

A small flex of your mouth’s corner was all he got, but any expression at all beyond agony was a step in the right direction. The Scots blinks quickly, clearing his throat and going back to wipe away the speckles on your forehead. His other hand gravitates to your chin, carefully tilting it as if you were made of glass.

Your eyes flutter shut with a sigh making its way through your nose; gathering what little semblance of yourself you can between repeating memories and the scent of charcoal from the man ahead of you. Fire and dust.

“Are we going to die here?” You ask under your breath, and the sensation of Soap’s swipes stop in an instant. In your inky blackness, the question haunts you.

The Scot gapes at you, wide eyes showing bitter whites around the rim—for once in his life, there was the sensation of a knife sinking into his heart.

“I…” He stutters, only able to respond when he’d swallowed down saliva and stared off into the trees for a moment; desperate to calm down his brain as defiance seeps in. You shouldn’t have to ask questions like that. “No, Bonnie,” Soap states so firmly that he sees your lids peel back upwards, a flash of your color showing only for him. It steels his resolve. “If it’s the last thing I do, I’m making sure every single man left is makin’ it home. ‘Specially you, yeah?”

You stare, and Johnny lowers the rag, hooking his finger on your opposite cheek and turning you fully to him. The heat under your skin makes him want to bring you even closer, but he refrains. A look is leveled, accompanied by a hard stare. Entranced by your gaze as one would be the moon. “We’re getting out of this—alright?”

“You can’t promise that, Johnny.” It’s a whisper.

“You can bet your arse I can!” He doesn’t mean to raise his voice, but the stress is throat constricting as he says your name, “...I’m getting you home, understand? That’s about as close to a fuckin’ promise as anyone can get. Don’t be talking like that!”

But you only watch with dull hope, a comforting smile pulling at your lips for him. Desperation grows.

In your mind, you knew the bitter truth, but there was something you wanted to confide in him—a sensation of utter surety at the extraordinary man touching you; comforting you.

“You’ll be a great Captain one day, y’know that?” You say the sentence like you won’t be there to witness it, and you know you won't. He knows it too. That bitter, bitter, truth.

“And you can bet your bastard self will be at the after-party, aye?” He doesn’t leave room for doubt verbally, though his jaw is tense and his heart hurting. “Won’t have it any other way.”

A hum echoes.

“Do me a favor?” Johnny is nodding immediately.

“Anything.” The look makes him want to cry—so quickly forming a bond with you and your sad eyes.

“Don’t forget me?”

You’re being corralled into a tight hug before you have an answer, hand going to sit at the back of your head with fierce force. But no more words were exchanged that night; no denials or hopeful sentiments.

But worse than that was the fact that you could have been extraordinary together, had only the Gods come down and linked your fates. If only the sky had fallen and the time stalled in that clearing of old rocks and rations. Blood-stained rags and whispered promises that hold no iron. A brief brushing of souls that had instantaneously yielded to one another only to fall back apart. Wrong time.

You were shot dead the next day.

TAGS:

@blueoorchid, @jxvipike, @revrse, @shuttlelauncher81, @bruhhvv, @kittiowolf210, @aerangi, @spikespiegell, @ghost-with-a-teacup, @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore, @uberraschungg, @neelehksttr, @shoe1412,@jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet, @pukbadger, @omeganixtra, @nanialis, @gills-lounge, @voidinfernal, @sukunas-left-nut-sack, @untoldshortsofthefandoms, @batmanunicorns523, @icepancakes, @copiasratscheese, @besas-stuff, @marytvirgin, @misfne, @halfmoth-halfman, @lothiriel9, @anna-banana27, @jade-jax, @cl0wncxre, @emerald-valkyrie, @michirulol, @330bpm-whiplash, @lora21, @bespectacledhuman, @wolfyland07, @dilfsaremyfavourite, @astronaunt2009, @shmaptin, @levietc, @kk19pls, @semieitabby, @thriving-n-jiving, @cringe-kats, @n1choles, @gaychaosgremlin, @johnpricesprincess, @haleypearce,

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atinyfeels · 30 days

Text

Breaking Up with ATEEZ

『 pairing: bf!ateez x reader ╺ requested? No ╺ genre: angst 』

warnings: heartbreak (not sure if that counts), language, arguments, sasaengs, mentions of sex but no smut

masterlist

C here with your weekly dose of heartbreak! 💕 I could’ve done a more detailed one, but I wanted something straight to the point with this one. -C

Seonghwa: “I don’t think this is working out.”

Seonghwa stared at you, trying to process your words as you tried your best to avoid making eye contact. The two of you sat on his bed, his hands grasping yours. The silence in the room felt so loud as you tried your best to ignore the regret. You hated seeing him like this; hair a mess from pushing his hands through it on too many times, his cheeks flushed and tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

“Was it something I did?” He asked, his voice barely a whisper, making your heart break more.

You quickly shake your head and cup his face with your hands. “No, my love, I promise. It’s just…neither of us have time for a relationship right now. You’re at the peak of your career and I’m just starting to figure out what I want to do with my life. I don’t want to drag you down or hold your back from what you want.”

“You don’t,” Seonghwa quickly tells you, “You will never drag me down.”

You take a deep breath and exhale, “Hwa, please don’t make this harder than it has to be. I love you. I will always be in love with you. It was just the right person at the wrong time.”

Seonghwa stays quiet as you lean forward and give him a long, sensual kiss. A kiss had never felt so heartbreaking as this one. Once you pulled away, you stood up off of the bed and grabbed your bag. You hadn’t realized you were crying until you were outside of his apartment, your cheeks puffy and wet from the tears.

Hongjoong: “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what, love? If you’re bored, we can watch a movie or maybe play a game?” Hongjoong suggested, turning around to face you as you sat in the couch in his studio. “y/n, what do you mean?” Hongjoong’s features changed when he saw the tears forming in your eyes. Panicking, he rushed over to you and pulled you into a tight hug. “It’s because I’m too busy right? Because I’m always at the studio or practicing? I know I’m really busy but I can make more time, I can come home more, plan more dates.”

“Joong,” you cried, practically begging for him to stop. He shut up and stared at you, not realizing himself that he was crying now. “I promise you when I say this, It’s not you. I thought I could handle the constant cancellations, the numerous unread text messages and the loneliness. But I can’t. I’m not strong enough to be apart from you for so long. I’m so sorry Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong swallowed and shook his head at your words, “it’s okay, I promise.”

You gently placed a hand on his cheek before giving a soft kiss on the lips. When you pulled away, Hongjoong kept his eyes closed. You swallowed hard before getting up off of the couch and leaving his studio.

Yunho: “Let’s end this.”

“W-What?” Yunho stuttered, looking at you surprised.

The two of you had just gotten back from your long awaited date but it had unfortunately been ruined by a group of sasaeng’s who refused to give Yunho space. The amount of glares and muttered profanities that were targeted towards you, made you feel so small in such an open area. Typically, you were used to the comments online and endless amount of backlash but to have it happen right in front of you. You were already feeling down on yourself, feeling as if you weren’t good enough for your widely popular idol boyfriend.

“Is this because of the date? y/n, I promise that was a once in a lifetime thing-“ you quickly cut him off, “Is it though? The last few times are dates have been cut short or interrupted because of work related things.”

Yunho furrowed his eyebrows, “I thought you understood what dating me was going to be like? That you understood that my job comes first regardless of what we’re doing.”

“I thought I did,” you tell him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Thought you did?” He repeats, clicking his tongue at the roof of his mouth. “If you can’t understand that, then you’re right we should end this.” Without saying anything else, he picked up his jacket from your couch and walking out of your apartment.

Yeosang: “I want to break up.”

Yeosang’s smile faltered as he stared at you, Wooyoung and San both looked at each other before they got up and excused themselves. As they left Yeosang’s room, you continued to stare at Yeosang. He stayed quiet as he tried to comprehend what you had just said.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, looking down at your lap. “I didn’t mean to blurt that out in front of them.”

“But you meant it?” Yeosang asked in a quiet voice, “you want to break up?”

You chewed on your bottom lip before nodding, “I’m just not happy anymore, I feel as if you and I were always better being friends.”

“Friends,” he repeated, “I don’t think I can be friends with you, y/n. I went into this relationship knowing full well I’m head over heels in love with you. I can’t hurt myself by continuing to be your friend anymore.”

“I understand, I’m really sorry Yeosang,” you tell him before getting up and leaving the apartment.

San: “I’m done! Finished! I don’t want to do this anymore!”

Neither of you meant for the argument to turn into a screaming match. It had even gotten to the point where both of you forgot what you were arguing about. Fights have been an issue for the past month now and it was starting to become exhausting even being in the same room with San.

San took a deep breath before nodding, “me too. I don’t want to fight anymore. We should separate and after we both calm down, we can talk it out.”

“No.” You plopped down on the couch and looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “I don’t want to separate and come back to it. We always do that and it doesn’t seem to work. If it did, we wouldn’t be fighting like this all the time.”

San swallowed hard, “what are you trying to say?”

“I think we should break up,” you confess, the tears now falling from your eyes. “I’m so tired of fighting with you anymore I feel like I don’t have any fight left in me. I feel like we’re not even fighting for a relationship, I feel like we’re just fighting to fight.”

“I agree,” he admits, sighing and sitting on the couch next to you. “I feel like we’re just beating each other up at this point.”

You slowly nodded, “I’m so sorry San.”

San quickly shook his head before pulling you into a hug, “for a relationship to work, everyone involved needs to try. You’re not the only one to blame for this.”

Mingi: “I’m so tired, Mingi.”

“Hm?” Mingi hummed, holding you close to him as the two of you cuddled in his bed. “Why don’t you sleep then?”

You sighed before sitting up and looking down at him. “That’s not what I mean.”

Mingi furrowed his eyebrows and sat up as well, “what do you mean then?”

“I mean with this,” you say, using your finger to indicate between the two of you, “I’m so tired of waiting for you to come home. I’m so tired of our time together being filled with naps and lazy days. I’m so tired to the point where I don’t even want to try to pick a fight to see if you see love me.”

Mingi reached up and brushed your hair behind your ear, “I understand. You deserve so much more, y/n. You deserve romantic dates, long car rides and nice weekend long getaways. And I can’t lie to you and I say you’re going to get that from me.”

“I’m so in love you with,” you confess, leaning forward and giving him a kiss.

Mingi hummed into the kiss before your lips separated for a moment, “stay one more night with me?”

“If i stay, I know I’ll never leave,” you confess, giving him one more kiss more pulling yourself out of bed and gathering your things. You looked back at Mingi once more before leaving him alone in the apartment.

Wooyoung: “Let’s face it, this was never going to work out anyways.”

Wooyoung furrowed his eyebrows, “what do you mean by that?”

“Wooyoung, we’re so different,” you say with a sigh as you run your fingers through your hair. “We hated each other before we got together. We couldn’t stand being in the same room as each other. The only thing that makes us compatible is our sex life. Us getting into a relationship after sleeping together so many times was such a bad idea.”

“I wasn’t a bad idea for me,” he tells you, “I fell in love with you y/n. I loved fighting with you and having stupid petty arguments. I loved how different we are, the different things to teach me about the things you like. I loved having make up sex with you every time we fought. I fell in love with you.”

You swallowed hard, trying to ignore your heart throbbing. “But I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Jongho: “I feel like I’m fighting for something that’s never going to happen.”

You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest. “I hate that I feel like doing this for nothing.”

“By this do you mean, us?” Jongho asked, leaning against the wall as he stared at you. “Are you breaking up with me right now?”

“I don’t want to, I really don’t want to,” you confess. “But sometimes I feel like you don’t even love me. Like I’m just there to fill in the space of someone who should be there. You don’t even treat me like a partner, you treat me like I’m your friend. Like when I go to kiss or hug you, you seem to flinch away.” You stopped for a moment, waiting to see what he would say but he didn’t say anything. “Say something.”

Jongho stared at you for a moment, unsure of what to say. You sighed, frustrated by the silence. Without saying another word, you picked up your jacket and walked out of the apartment.

(I so desperately NEED a Wooyoung enemies to lovers in my life and I needed it yesterday)

#kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #ateez #kpop angst #ateez reactions #Hongjoong #Seonghwa #Yunho #San #yeosang #Mingi #Wooyoung #Jongho

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sykestarot · 7 months

Text

what's up in love and some advice pac

i do not own any of these images

1-2-3 (left to right)

hey babes, this is my first ever collective reading post, so I hope all the messages are accurate and good lol. if you enjoy this feel free to follow or reblog! I'm gonna try to post weekly :) thanks for stopping by!

Pile 1

“Those chills that I knew, they were nothing without you” (King of Swords (rx); 8 of swords (rx); The Magician (rx); Knight of cups (rx); 5 of cups (rx); Knight of Pentacles) Okay pile one I’m sensing that you recently went through a pretty bad breakup or heartbreak. You and this person could’ve been friends in highschool or met through a mutual friend from highschool? You guys were an unlikely pair, or had many differences fundamentally and on the surface. Leading this relationship to not work. Although this was a painful break up you are doing a great job being positive about it. I hear you guys know your worth and have to keep it pushing. I see you are still trying to date casually but it's working against you and hurting you more than it should. Don't feel pressured to hook up with random people because you think that's what you should do. If that's hurting you then take time and space for you instead. When you have a better understanding of your emotional self the right person will appear. Albeit it seems that the appearance of someone new will take a while. I also kept hearing pick yourself up. The advice for you is to continue to be optimistic and playful. You also have to be loyal to things you love doing and activities that remind you of the love you have to give. I see for this group friendship will be the biggest healer. (funny since you chose the sailor moon pic lol!) Go be with friends and let them heal you as well. You’re already doing a very good job on your own but sometimes the help of others can lift you up tenfold. Signs: boats, the ocean, water, bridges, the color orange, ctas, blue eyes, communication, lotus, tattoos, highschool, shared friend group, coworkers?, fish or fishing, champagne

Pile 2

“Haven’t had a dream in a long time” (Two of swords; 10 of pentacles (rx); 5 of pentacles (rx); The High Priestess; Ace of swords (rx); Justice) Pile two, your energy isn’t as free flowing as pile one’s was. You feel confused or at a loss. I feel like maybe you got fired or quit your job recently. Perhaps because of a relationship that turned sour? I feel pain behind my eyes so maybe it was a desk or office job that you work at. I feel like you were choosing to stay stagnant because of a relationship. Either you had better opportunities and they didn’t want to move with or for you. Or you held yourself back from growing for their sake. Or maybe even someone had been leeching on you for money. Maybe you stopped practicing your spiritual or religious beliefs for this person? I see you not communicating any of your needs whether it was emotional or physical. Your energy is hard to get a straight message. I keep getting distracted, almost as if you don't want to admit these things. Maybe you’re still with this person and you know these are problems but don't want to say it outloud or admit it. I see that eventually justice will be served and the karma this person will face will be a heavy dose, however you have to choose to leave or that karma will affect you both. The advice for you is take the blindfold that you willingly have on off immediately. The only person you're hurting is yourself. I see that spirit is begging to work with you. I feel like you’ve been seeing repeating numbers a lot. Google what these numbers mean and how they fit into your life. I feel how somber your guides are that you won't hear them when you always have. It’s making my eyes water. I also see that you need to take things slowly and be in the present and not live in fantasyland anymore. You are worthy of so much more pile two. I only hope that you can at least feel the love you deserve within this message. Signs - crows, owls, bird in general, music, sea turtles, hawaii, snorkeling, planes/jets, pilots, Top Gun, traveling, military, marines, mother mary, rosary, catholic churches?, prayer, music music music, guitar or bass, M names?, 111

Pile 3

“You can drive all night, looking for the answers in the pouring rain” (The Star; 6 of swords (rx); Ace of swords; The Hermit; 7 of cups (rx); 5 of cups) Pile three, I feel you are a beautiful and necessary light in this world. You have such a big purpose in this world and I feel like you don’t see it. I’m talking about the things that you were put on this earth for will change the trajectory of things. Whether it's changing people's lives or discovering a new element. But youre so scared of starting the journey because you're afraid of the unknown. The way you speak is so eloquent and well thought out but I feel like you don’t like speaking to others very much because you feel like people misunderstand you due to lack of responses but people just love hearing you speak. You sound like the smartest person in the room when you speak. Perhaps you're an educated witty type and people find your well thought out jokes so funny, like they think about them later. But you feel without options. Perhaps you're doing things differently from your friends? And you feel behind because of that or without. However there are options that you don't even know about yet. You are so much more than what you think you are. Trust. Maybe you feel discouraged in love because no one satisfies your needs or everything falls apart. Advice for you is to remember who you are. You must find who you are first to gain a relationship worth having or to find an equal. Remember that you are spiritually protected and guided and the strength that you possess is so great. Do not give up just yet continue to move forward. Whatever ideas you have you can bring them into your physical life. I also see the more gratitude you have for things it will help you better your perspective on your own life and goals. I kept on hearing you ill get there because you're you. Signs - Rhinos, lions, lion king, 5’s, microphones, theater, stages, stage lights. Angels, the color white, full moons, lizards, sagittarius moon?, the veiled lady?, fine arts, actor/actress, science, chemistry

#pick a card reading #reading tarot #Spotify #spiritual #pick a card #channeled message #channeled song #channeled art #love reading #advice #divination #pac #pap #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick an image #pick a photo #channeling #spirituality

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ro-sham-no · 1 month

Text

Sam’s wall breaks, and he won’t stop screaming.

it's his birthday so you KNOW i had to whump my boy

It’s been two days and fifteen hours and Sam won’t stop screaming.

Blood droplets fly out of his mouth with wracking coughs as he chokes on hurried inhales, mucosal spit gumming up his trachea.

It’s been two days and sixteen hours and Sam won’t stop screaming.

The only times he’s been silent in the last two days and seventeen hours is when he’s unconscious. The first bout - four hours and twenty-three minutes of silence - Dean’d just clocked him in the jaw when it was clear Sam was going to scream himself into involuntary suffocation - diaphragm and abdominal muscles locking up from the abuse. Dean knocked him unconscious for those four hours and twenty-three minutes, after six hours of his weeping and gnashing of teeth.

By the time he had woken up, Dean had shots of sedative and they were two hours into a twenty-eight-hour drive to Bobby’s - if nothing else, Dean’s efficient. Sam didn’t take notice.

And if the sounds he won’t stop making can be described as screaming, then the sounds he makes when Dean has to touch him while he’s awake can only be described as a death wail. Wailing and scrambling to get away from Dean with a fervor that earns them both violent shades of bruises.

It’s been two days and twenty hours and Sam won’t stop screaming.

During the drive, whenever Sam’s anguish would escalate back into hair-tearing, along with beating his fists against his arms and thighs and threatening to bash his head into the windows of the Impala, Dean would pull over to force another dose of sedative into him.

The sounds he makes while Dean tries to subdue him… Well, even in the most remote location on their route, Dean was afraid the farmer whose house they could just barely see in the distance would be able to hear. It had to have been at least three miles away, with how flat the land was, and Dean was still worried that someone would hear.

Sam won’t stop screaming, and his screams are deafening- except when he’s unconscious, from the shots Dean gives him, the screaming is just in Dean’s mind. A haunting kind of tinnitus that rings in Dean’s ears, just as nauseating as the real deal, but a touch less heartbreaking.

He only allows himself to sleep for the first few hours of Sam being down for the count, despite the catatonic state that seemed to have taken over him. Dean wasn’t about to risk Sam waking up without him. They sleep together in the car, in the weeds and the bramble off of back roads, hidden from view. Baby’s paint has never been so scratched up.

It’s been two days and twenty-three hours and Sam won’t stop screaming.

They’ve been at Bobby’s for the last twenty-four of those, trying to hold back on the sedative, because god knows they can’t keep it up forever or Sam’s heart is liable to just straight up quit, so they’ve been rationing it. Walking the nerve-wracking line between acceptable amounts of incomprehensible human suffering and causing an overdose that could just kill Sam, for good this time.

On the 72nd hour - that’s two days and twenty-four hours, or three days and zero hours, or 4,230 minutes and zero seconds, or 259,200 seconds and -

It’s been three days and zero hours, and Sam is awake, but he stops screaming.

And on the third day he will be raised…

Dean rushes over to check on him, but Sam is still breathing, heart still beating, body still holding itself upright, and he’s stopped screaming.

Now, though, two lines of salty tears trail down his face. For all his hysteric shrieking over the last three days, through all the rocking and swaying and the occasional distinct syllable of “no” over and over again, he hadn’t actually shed a tear, until now.

It’s been three days and zero hours and Sam’s tears are silent.

He’s staring far off into the distance - into the wall that’s four feet in front of him - and he is silent. Even his gasps are inaudible. No sniffling, not a single huff or quiver of breath. Just tears.

It’s been three days and zero hours and two minutes and both Dean and Bobby are in the room now, staring at Sam with undisguised fear-horror-confusion.

They stare at him and he begins to shake. Lightly, at first, but it grows. It always grows. Sam is silent, and he’s shaking, and his eyes stream tears with the consistency of a downpour, and Dean moves back in front of him. He’d stepped away to yell for Bobby out the door when it looked like Sam would live after his abrupt descent into silence. Dean steps back in front of him and reaches out to touch Sammy, and now Sam’s not silent. A three-minute silence and now it’s broken by Sam scrambling backward with a gasp that’s really more of an inhaled moan of fear, hastening back so far that he pushes off of the bed he’d been sitting on.

He crashes to the floor, out of Dean’s reach even as the man leaps forward with a cry of, “Sam!”

But Sam’s flight had been too fast, so he crashed to the ground and has now fallen silent again, but Dean can’t tell if there are still tears because Sam has wedged himself into a ball in the crease between the floor and the wall, form-fitting his back and ass over the baseboards hard enough to bruise. He’s hiding his face in his knees, still trembling, but still silent, so Dean can’t tell if the tears have stopped. He isn’t sure if that would be better or worse.

Because now it’s been three days and five minutes, and Sam’s curled up in sublimation.

He’s crammed against the wall, his knees are up in front of him, spread only far enough to shove his head between them - but down quite far, uncomfortably so, contorted - but his hands aren’t curled up like the rest of him. Instead, his hands are held out around his legs, stretched around them and then upward, palms out like he’s receiving something sacred. Or like he’s giving it away.

It’s been three days and six minutes and Sam is trembling in sublimation.

The room is silent, Dean and Bobby don’t know what to do, but he isn’t hurting himself and he isn’t screaming so they wait him out.

It’s been three days and thirty minutes, by the time anything happens.

At first, Bobby thinks it’s the creaks of his house. At first, Dean thinks it’s the creaks of his soul. They’re both wrong, they realize, as the sound is actually coming from Sam, but it reverberates in such a way that it’s equally loud from every corner of the room. Dean wonders, faintly and somewhat hysterically, when Sam learned ventriloquy.

It’s a low but resounding utterance, indistinguishable at first, but becoming more distinct with every syllable, losing its eerie ambience and beginning to actually come from Sam as its focal point. Whatever Sam is saying, deep into his chest in a tone that aches, becomes clearer, but neither of the other two men can understand it.

Sam’s palms are still held up in front of his shins. His head is still shoved between his knees, and he’s still trembling. He finishes his recitation but doesn’t fall silent. Instead, he switches to a language that Dean realizes with a jolt that he can understand the words, seconds before Bobby realizes it, too.

“Pater noster, qui es in שְׁאוֹל, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in שְׁאוֹל et in terra.”

A sickening aura falls over the room as both lucid men hear the exceptions to the otherwise familiar prayer. “On earth, as it is in שְׁאוֹל,” Sam had said. Sheol, the subterranean final resting place. The pit. “The place of no return, the land of utter darkness and deep shadow.”

Hell.

Our Father who art in the pit of utter death and darkness…

It’s been three days and one hour by the time Sam finishes his contritions.

By then, he’d recited that first chant in the same unknown language twice more, alternating it with the Latin rendition of the Lord’s prayer.

Hallowed be thy name…

Dean has a gnawing, sinking feeling in his gut that he knows exactly what that other language is.

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in שְׁאוֹל, the deep shadow.

The cadence, the tone; they’re the same. Distorted by the foreign, guttural tones of the other language, but they cut through Dean with the same taste. Sam is repeating the same thing over and over again, just in alternating tongues. The familiar Latin combined with the unfamiliar, grating timbre of the other.

The repugnant language of the wretched Divine.

Those accursed, winged beasts, just like the one his brother, his Sammy has been locked up with for an earth-year. And who knows what that timeline looked like, in the depths? Nothing sears in your mind quite like the crushing realization that virtually no real time has passed when you return from it, Dean remembers. The rock constantly lodged in the base of Dean's chest, taking up space where his lungs are supposed to go, which screams out, your pain was never real.

Did time distort further the further down you went in hell? Was Dean’s 40-year stint a mere blink in the face of the time Sam had been locked up with that thing that did this to him?

The only reason Dean’s stomach isn’t on the floor in front of him is because his stomach is empty, the pervasive ache of the last few days locking it up tight. Sam has been screaming and Dean hasn't been eating, but he's never been less hungry in his life.

It’s been three days and one hour and Dean’s been crying for every single second of them.

The wailing and screaming had gouged at him, in that way little baby's cries gouge at unsuspecting figures passing by, striking that deep, maternal cord within them. The same way little toddler-Sam’s cries had always gouged at Dean. The same way, too, that not-so-little teenaged Sam’s sniffles into his pillow that he thought were muffled had always gouged at Dean.

If the screams had been gouging at him, this reverent recitation was gutting him. Viscerally, like a fish being pulled sharply off of a too-big hook that it had somehow managed to swallow down too far. Catch and release turned into a pitiful horror.

But it’s been three days and one hour, now, and Sam’s finished his latest round of the Lord’s prayer - Latin this time - and he’s fallen silent again.

His hands are still held out, despite how bad it must make his shoulders and wrists ache with the tension of his stillness. Before Dean can think to do anything, though, Sam continues, but he breaks the pattern. Instead, his voice is much shakier now, and he starts to plead, the only term applicable to the tone of voice Sam has taken on: wretched, and full of supplication. Pleading, in Latin still,

“Elohim, Messiah - Please take this temptation from me. Please, as you have so graciously promised, benevolent Savior, tempt me not with this Sin of the Flesh. I am too weak, Father. This temptation is too great and I cannot bear it.

Temptation? Father?

The formal tone rankles. The self-deprecation vexes. The use of Father to refer to the most foul being to ever walk above and below the earth seethes and horrifies. Dean is rankled. Dean is vexed. Dean seethes, and he is horrified.

“Take Him from my sight, יהוה, keep me away from His fraternal presence, please, Lord. Balm though He is to my soul, grateful though I am for this offering, I am too weak to refrain from Sin.”

Fraternal? Sin?

“I would naught but bastardize this precious gift, and thine hand wilt be forced against me, as thou shalt flay me apart; dissect me to make penance for my transgressions. I do not wish this, Father, so please: Take Him from me, do not allow my wretched Sin to pervade in thine realm.”

Just because Dean’s stomach is empty doesn’t mean it isn’t trying valiantly to make an appearance. At the word “fraternal,” Bobby had started pushing him out the door. Stunned, Dean hadn’t fought back. There’s bile on Bobby’s hardwood floor outside the bedroom Sam and Bobby were still in.

Sam spoke as if Dean’s presence was the temptation, one too great to bear. And he spoke as if to God, but Dean knew better, he knew where Sam had been. Where Dean let him go. No gods to be seen, not there. What Sin had Lucifer contrived between them, to make Sam pay penance for? What occurred between them for Sam to be… Flayed alive. Dissected.

Dean’s not stupid enough to believe that's anything but literal.

Bobby swings the door mostly-closed just in time for Sam to finish his pleas and lower his arms.

It’s been three days and one hour and ten minutes, and Sam raises his head.

Dean watches through the crack in the door, concealed in the darkness of the hallway. He’s holding his breath and he’s not sure he’ll ever forgive himself for not rushing right back to Sam's side. But something is holding him back, and he doesn’t want to name it.

(Fraternal… Sin?)

Sam raises his head but keeps his eyes scrunched shut - tears and snot are dripping down his face, which is a blotchy red but somehow still pallid with fear. He’s shaking worse than before as he straightened his back out, sitting up and letting his legs fold down so he’s cross-legged. Not relaxed, but no longer contorted. Finally, he releases a shaky breath and opens his eyes, pointing down at the floor.

Bobby shifts his weight purposefully and Sam’s eyes fly to him with a wild flinch of fear. It hangs in the air uncomfortably long before he recognizes the man in the room with him, and he lets out a sob of what Dean hopes is relief.

He quickly bows his head and shifts up onto his knees in a simple prayer position, hands pressed together in a booklet of gratitude as he sobs out, “Thank you, Messiah, Morningstar. Thank you.”

Then, with a big sigh, he allows himself to look back at Bobby, but his gaze is clinical, observing. He whispers, through his hitching, wet breaths, “He did it. I can't believe he did it. He’s gone. I don’t have to do it again, not yet.”

Sam’s face crumples as he’s hysterical with relief, and Dean’s clawing his own arms raw and bloody outside the door, desperate to get to the crying baby and soothe it, desperate to kiss toddler-Sam’s scraped knees, desperate to tell teenage-Sam that nothing will ever change the way Dean feels about him, despite whatever darkness he seems to think is inside of him. But still, he’s held back by that unspeakable Sin between them. Lucifer didn’t contrive it, Dean knows that. He holds himself back.

Bobby speaks up then, gruff and wary, “Don’t have to do what, yet?”

Sam startles before finally, really looking at Bobby like he’s a human on the same plane of existence as him, not like he’s a mildly interesting fixture on a non-existent wall.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it, Bobby. It’s good to see you,” Sam cracks a smile, and it encapsulates one thousand shades of grief.

Sam continues quieter, once again to himself, “I wish it wasn’t like this. I’m sorry. So, so sorry. But you’re not Him, so it’s fine, it’s fine…”

Bobby squints at him long and hard, eyeing his more relaxed posture and at least somewhat lucid speech - odd though it may be - before he glances at the crack in the door and gives a tiny eyebrow raise that says, get your ass in here.

Dean slowly cracks the door open and calls out to his baby brother, just as he comes into view, “Sammy?”

His reaction is violent. If Sam was pallid before, he’s now a putrid shade of green, face twisting up in horror as he shakes his head, wringing his hands and mumbling out at first, devolving quickly into yells into the aether, into the corners of the room, “No! No, no- please, you promised, no-”

He collapses into himself on the floor, half hidden behind the bed, putting it between him and Dean. The trembling returns with moans and cries incessantly pouring out of Sam’s mouth as he buries his head in his hands, gripping at his face and whatever hair is in reach with too much force, wailing out a constant stream of no, no, no!

Dean takes an involuntary step forward into the room, drawn in by that maternal wretchedness. Desperate, always desperate, to comfort his baby brother.

When his boot sounds on the carpet - muted but oh-so-loud to Sam’s ears - the cries lose their shape, hiccupping wails of no quickly becoming unintelligible and increasingly frantic, building and building until it can only be described as a howling scream.

It’s been three days and one hour and fifteen minutes, and Sam won’t stop screaming.

#2.5k+ words #lucifer wants to be jesus #religious imagery #aftermath of torture #mentally anyway #this doesn't rlly follow canon LOL whoops #(#spn #wincest #< implied/referenced #sam winchester #sam whump #happy sam winchester's birthday #to those who celebrate #)

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ashegaby · 16 days

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Haven’t been here in a while but I need to vent, whether you disagree with me or not.

The breakup was rough, unnecessary, heartbreaking. I’m not afraid to say Chenford was the reason why I started the show and the reason why it became my whole personality. I fell in love with other characters along the way, sure, but I watch the show for them.

So for the show to break them up was just so sad for me because this was my first time watching a season live.

Took me weeks to come to terms with it and once I did, I’m actually kind of okay with the fact that it happened.

I wasn’t going to stop watching the show because they broke up, or say they ruined years of character development because none of Tim’s traumas have ever been resolved. They brush over them and move on to the next plot. It was, in Tim’s twisted mind, an act of love to let her go.

That being said, what worried me the most was the way they were going to handle it. If they already took this massive risk with (lets be real) their main couple, they have to fix it in a substantial way.

Did I want a kiss, a hug, an acknowledgment that they will make their way back to each other in this episode? Sure, who didn’t.

But I actually like the way they did it.

His look of realization during the truck scene that no matter in what capacity, she’s going to show up and be his partner. The way he spoke to her in the shop, admitting that he took her advice and is going to therapy is the conversation we were hoping for. Lets not talk about “freak in the sheets” because that would take me another lengthy post to discuss.

And that final elevator scene left so much to be hopeful for. Its an apology, a raw display of emotion that he is grateful for her. That she saved him and she deserves that recognition. That he wants to make it up to her but its still leaving the ball in her court. Its her move next, her decision, her choice, in whatever small doses she will allow.

Anyways, sorry for my rant, I just feel nostalgic, because we don’t get them back for 8 months, but I’m excited to see where they take things from here.

Also if you haven’t had a chance yet, read this interview https://t.co/sqGIDyJDxb , its so hopeful and it shows how much Mel and Eric care about their characters.

#chenford #the rookie

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shadowriel · 6 months

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Every Sound Your Heart Makes

I’m so excited to share my secret Santa gift for @headcanonheadcase! This fic started with an idea for what I like to call “reverse Gilmore Girls” — with a grumpy single dad and a chatty, diner owner. So you can expect the Gwynriel we know and love in a cozy, heartfelt small town setting. I hope it’s everything you want for Christmas, and more!

Summary: It’s been six years since Azriel came back to his hometown, with his newborn daughter in tow. Six years since Gwyn moved away from whatever heartbreak she’d left behind in her previous life and opened up a diner in Starlight Grove.

Now, unable to resist the urge to help Gwyn, Azriel volunteers to design sets for their town’s Christmas musical. But what happens when the town grump and the woman he’s fallen for can no longer hold back from the inevitable?

Chapter 1: Coffee, Please

Read here on AO3

Read a snippet below:

Even steps lead him to where he finds himself most mornings for the simple reason that his days aren’t quite right without a cup of coffee… and his daily dose of Gwyn. Once he reaches her diner, he pushes the door open with a gentle shove. His gaze briefly lingers on the cursive that spells out her name against frosted glass—four simple letters he wants to trace, followed by an apostrophe and an ‘S’. Then, just as the scent of peppermint and hot cocoa washes over his senses, his attention shifts.

He sees her immediately—the owner herself flitting from table to table, pouring coffee into half-empty mugs. The sight of Gwyn alone is enough to have him transfixed. To leave him frozen right there, in the doorway.

It’s almost unnerving, how still he is, when the diner is packed with townspeople. There’s a distinct liveliness to the place, one Azriel knows is only found at Gwyn’s. He’s come here every day for years, and he has yet to find another place where the warmth of the air envelops him the same way.

It’s in the details—he knows—at least for most people, this feeling of home. As much as the shop belongs to Gwyn, it belongs to their entire town. From initials carved into tables on first dates to small tears in fabric cushions covered with scraps of tape, to the sticky residue to sweet syrup that never seems to be scrubbed away from the tiles.

For him, it’s not the details that make him love this place. Not the coffee, nor the assortment of desserts.

It’s Gwyn.

That’s precisely the reason why he stands where he is, unable to take in the diner he’s been coming to for years. Why he doesn’t even see the rest of the room.

All he sees is her.

And then, her teal eyes flicker up, and she sees him, too.

“Good morning,” he says—croaks really. His voice is rough, perhaps with the lingering effects of his interrupted sleep. The greeting is all he can find in himself to say, but it is a good morning. Very good.

The sentiment only grows when Gwyn bites back a smile.

“You’re letting out all the warm air,” she huffs, playing at being annoyed. It must be the heat of the room, but Azriel swears he sees the slopes of her cheeks flush a lovely shade of red. In response, he can only take a step forward, allowing the gravitational force between them to draw him towards her and leave the door falling closed with a soft whoosh behind him.

“What? You’re not going to say ‘good morning’ back?” He crosses his arms across the expanse of his chest, fixing Gwyn with a look. He’s always found immense pleasure in teasing her, so he continues. “That’s awfully rude. I thought we were better friends than that, Gwyn.”

Now, it’s her turn to cross her arms. She sets her pot of coffee on a nearby table before doing so, then tilts her head back to glare at him. “We are, but you’re not the one paying the electricity bill.”

“You’re worried about your electricity bill?” He almost laughs at the irony.

Purposefully, he drags his gaze from Gwyn, instead turning to study the strings of light she’d put up overnight. At least they’re not the multicoloured variety, but a soft white that makes the interior of the diner glow from where they cover nearly every available surface. Precisely three Christmas trees are decorated in a similar, maximalist fashion, and Azriel can’t help but wonder how the diner hasn’t blown a fuse since she’d put the decorations up.

He arches a brow when he looks at her again, trying to hide his amusement. “Really?”

Taglist (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @foundress0fnothing @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @trashforazriel @sv0430 @sunshinebingo @shadowsxgwynriel @thelovelymadone @damedechance

For the @acotargiftexchange

#gwynriel #gwynriel fanfiction #gwynriel supremacy #gwyn berdara #gwyneth berdara #azriel #au gwynriel #modern gwynriel #acotar fanfiction #acotar #gwynriel fanfic #acotar secret santa 2023 #acotargiftexchange #every sound your heart makes

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boizandgurlzinthehouse · 7 months

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𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?

summary: y/n didn't fell well in the last year... and she probably never will feel herself well again. word count: 2.832k trigger warning: SUICIDE, SELF-HARM (really, don't read it if it trigger you please please please), psych ward, signs of mental illnesses, heartbreak, hallucinating, screaming, farewell letter

count your fingers. breathe in, breathe out.

"are you doing this again?"

y/n sat on her bed, smoking a cigarette as she read the newest tabloids. others were watching tv in the lodge, but she preferred to out out some titles and interesting articles. the date stated 1995, may 3rd.

"you are no longer in the newspaper. they're dumb, never writing anything in these papers, fuckers."

scratching her neck, her nail broke at the end. it was weak ever since she got here, sleeping and eating was difficult also.

"but they were true about me."

she looked at him, pulling her knees to herself.

"fuck you, they weren't."

kurt sat at the leg of the bed, now the closest ever. he always stood at the door, sat by the window, or sat on the ground, facing her.

just keep counting. six, seven, eight...

"you look like you need a rest, love. dark circles doesn't fit you."

something constantly buzzed in her mind, like a radio band is always on, even if there's no music and no jokes. or the tv in the lodge at 2am, no shows were playing, she always talked with kurt at night, until the nurses didn't guide her back to her room. she was alone here, at peace, doing what she liked to do --writing her diary, reading books, painting her nails. he wanted to paint kurt's too, but he never came close to her, never let her touch him. he was distant, but in a comforting way.

"who do i need to look beauty for?" y/n asked, exhaling the smoke. kurt smiled, pointing at himself.

"for me."

"yeah, of course."

take your medicine. place a pill on your tongue, then swallow it down with a gulp of water.

the next dose of pills were laying on the plate, waiting for her to take them with a cup of water. they trusted her enough to take it alone, since she almost scratched her wrists from freaking out too many times. the clock on her nightstand ringed, it was time.

"you know i'll never disappear, even if you take those?" kurt laid back on her bed, reaching his hand to the ceiling.

brushing her hair, y/n turned away her head from him. she didn't want to hear this, and to turn to her sane sense.

"if you live only in my head, why can't i just make you go away?" she whispered, her eyes lingering on the lace of the curtain, forming an angel and a bunny.

"because you don't want to let me go."

looking at him again, the buzzing was so intense and it wasn't pleasuring. the voice wanted to tell her something, but it never could. it was a void. she was a void.

am i telling this to myself too? y/n felt tired, picking a pill, popping into her mouth. she ate more pills than actual meals, in the first two months, it was strange to even eat after only living on little pieces of medicine for so long. she looked at kurt, he was still here. ten more minutes and he'll be gone, but the pills only made her tired, they never sent him truly away. or, maybe it was easy to crawl into her mind. laying down, she used her boney arm as an extra pillow, dragging the comforter up on her body.

"when i wake up, piss off."

"can't promise, princess." kurt said, leaning on his elbow as he saw her closing her eyes.

days went like this --waking up before 10am, taking pills, skipping breakfast because the pills always caused her nausea, playing and talking with the others in the psych ward, talking with her own psychiatrist, eating lunch, taking pills, resting in the afternoon, reading the tabloids every wednesday, watching the telly or reading a book before dinner, and then, taking the day's last pills, and then sleeping all night, but she often woke up, sometimes two or three times even.

a knock woke her up from her deep slumber, making her shake. looking around, kurt was not around anymore --at least he kept his poor promise. a nurse, dorothy was standing in the door.

"good afternoon, y/n. you have a visitor."

it was strange. she broke her connections with most people, only dave and christ knew that y/n was still in here.

"who?" she asked, getting up to put on her shoes.

"his name is dave grohl. do you know him?" dorothy asked, making her nod. standing up, y/n went out on the door, seeing dave. walking up to him, dave smiled at her, but it was something uncertain in his eyes. y/n gave up for caring about other's feelings a couple months ago, since she couldn't even deal with hers.

"hello, angel! how are you?" he asked in the sound like you ask from a child, hugging her lightly.

"totally fine." really, she was in a psych ward almost a year from now on, what could she say?

"can we go for a walk? that girl... maybe dorothy? said that we can go for a little walk, i want to know what's going on with you."

stepping outside, y/n breathed fresh air only when she opened her window, and went for a short trip with the others once in three months. the air was calming, and the sun didn't shine too bright, flowers grow on the edge of the sidewalk. dave was so strange, like he also lived in her mind. but he doesn't have to know about that.

"so, what's up? hanging around, uhm..." he wanted to continue, but y/n looked at him.

"chill, dave. i know this place is a horror house. i'm pretty fine, dealing with my things and stuff... and you?"

"i'm fine also. me and jennifer talked about having kids, but i'm not feeling the time yet."

"i felt that." she and kurt had frances, y/n loved her as her own daughter, even if that crazy woman courtney fretted her for being in the baby's presence.

"i have some pictures about bean, do you wanna see them? courtney was against it, but... i thought you'd like."

"that's really nice from you, dave."

seeing the pictures, she felt like the whole universe laughed at her. the buzzing started again, she tried to smile. "how big she is!"

"yeah, well, she is just like her fath-"

dave suddenly silenced. because everybody knew. everybody knew that y/n got in here because kurt died, her mind couldn't comprehend the fact, and she began to see him. she began to hallucinate, and most of the time, she just laid on her bed and looked at the ceiling, not eating, not drinking. if she wasn't crying or screaming, she was sleeping or just being like a sack of potato. the most miserable sack of potato. almost a year, and she didn't even made the smallest progress. she clearly, medically went crazy because of her lover's death.

"look, y/n... me, jen, chris and his wife is going on a trip... you should come too. it's much warmer there in california, you could loose up a little bit, don't you?"

y/n scratched her arms, looking at the stop sign at the end of the road.

"it's a really nice idea, dave. thank you. it's just... what if kurt-"

"what? what about kurt?" dave asked, getting angry. "sorry, but what fucking about him?"

"nothing, just... nothing, really, i just don't want to go."

"because of him? y/n, i don't want to be mean, but did you look at yourself? his death caused all of us pain, but you literally got sick from it."

"what about me? what about me, what about me?" she yelled. "don't say that he's dead, because i fucking see him everyday, and i'm not gonna let it slip!"

"do you see him right now, huh? do you see him? because if yes, then you are just the same as those girls who get shocked to be normal just a little bit!"

"and what if i saw him? what if i saw him and he just could see that how big of a cock your are, fuck you, dave!"

he laughed like he doesn't believed what he just heard.

"here we fucking are again, y/n! because i'm a good friend of yours, i'm gonna tell you that nobody fucking sees him, nobody who's normal! i thought that it's just some aftermath of your depression, but..."

"but what? i am crazy? i am compulsive? i am fucking hopeless? because you know, every fucking day was a menace since things got fucked up!"

"no, you are fucking worse than you were when he died!" dave screamed, trying to reach for her arm to get her back to the psych ward, but y/n clawed at him like a cat, while from the tip of her throat, an enormous shriek came from her, and then y/n just snapped.

"HE MAY BE DEAD! AND EVEN IF HE IS, I WISH I COULD DIE EVERY DAY JUST TO FREE MYSELF FROM ALL OF THIS VOID!" her vocal cords almost teared up as she screamed, crouching on the ground, holding her head. this was the end, the waves crashed above her head, the endless sea of her depression caged her in.

like a switch finally turned down, y/n tried to collect her breath, but it didn't helped. she went too deep, and the last breath of hope was sucked out from her.

"are you okay? y/n, fuck, are you alright?" dave asked her. y/n stood up, brushing her hair from her face.

"yes, i think everything's okay." she felt her own voice static, but it didn't matter.

"okay, then... shall we go back? you must be tired."

"yeah. let's go back."

dave didn't even know that he saw her the last time alive.

"i hope you get a little rest. i think it wasn't a good idea to come, but... i care about you. we all do." he said inside, y/n pulled up the muscles of her lips.

"it's okay. it was good to see you, dave." giving him a hug, it lasted a little bit too long, but he wanted too, so it wasn't a problem. she just wanted to feel loved after so long.

"see you later, y/n."

"yeah, see you too, dave!" she waved to him from the window, dave got out his camera from his car.

"do this again! wave and say, 'hi everybody!'"

"hi, goodbye, good morning, good afternoon everybody!" she sang while faning with her hand, smiling. dave waved to her the last time, then he got in his car, riding away.

do kurt miss christ and dave just as she?

1am. 1995, may 4th.

not a soul walked on the hallways of the ward. it was peaceful, only the small droplets from the fountain harmed the silence. only one bathtub, filled with water, a hand hanging on the side of the white porcelain. little curls of steam floating in the air.

"are you sure about that?"

he was here again, with her. kurt leaned on the brim of the tub, looking at y/n as she collected the pills. she's gonna swallow all of it, with two gulps of water, and then... she didn't know what's going after this, but she couldn't handle it any longer. life was too heavy, she felt it on her shoulders, her spine, her head, it crawled it's weight into her guts from day to day, a new day, a new weight.

looking at him, she stopped in her movements.

"did it hurt?"

kurt only smiled at that, saccharine in his smile.

"did life hurt?"

"only when you weren't there." she replied, then, placing the first dose of pills into her hand. "i wrote a letter. i hope they find it. and i hope i'll find you."

because she hoped, really. she had hope, not for life, but for him. she felt dumb every time she saw lame romance movies about people can't live without each other, but it turned out that it was true. she literally died without him, and air got much more suffocating.

looking at the pills, she looked up to the cross on the wall in front of her. so this is the end.

"i'll look for you, kurt. i love you." she said, not even paying attention to the fact if he was there or not, even if he just lived in her head. downing the pills, chug, another doze of pills, chug. just a couple of minutes, and no days will be spent with agony and crying, screaming, watching shitty movies, trying to live.

somehow, it was comforting to her.

laying back in the warm water, she saw kurt coming closer to her. her vision began to get blurry, and she felt stomach churn, her heart and liver exploding, but it was only a little pain. her lover bend over her, and maybe he touched her, kissing her forehead, but she didn't felt it. there was no movie in front of her eyes, playing her whole life, there weren't any so special things from books the writers always talked about. it was just laying down and resting for awhile.

in her last moments, she felt nothing else but warmth.

dear everybody, or anybody who finds this,

i never wasted too much words about anything. maybe i should have done, but i'm not gonna change this, so please, don't judge me. it's rude to judge dead people anyway.

everyone who thinks that my actions is in connection with kurt, they're right. i don't want to brag about my mental state, let's just say, i didn't feel well in the last couple of months. people around you change you, taking you to a ride, and i guess that i wasn't ready for the end of the ride. in the end, i only want you to remember that how wonderful and gentle, unique and perfect creatures we are. i loved myself, always, i just didn't love the way i felt.

some words to the people, because i was too much of a scaredy-cat to talk with them in the last rounds: dave and chris. you two are truly wonderful, the best guys i could ever imagine. i'm sorry that you have to get to know about this in a letter, but please, never let kurt's memory die, and maybe, don't even let mine. i didn't do a lot of good things in my life, but i loved. i loved and cared, and maybe that can be valuable even for you. courtney, i know we've never been good friends, but maybe, we never could be. i just want to wish you strength and courage for the rest of your life, i've never invalidated your feelings. maybe i felt just like you, excluding the fact that i don't have a lovely supergirl. frances bean, you little star; you won't remember me, but i'll remember you. you are the most fantastic girl i've ever known, and you'll gonna rock the world, just like your father did.

i don't want you to be sad. i wasn't sad, just a little crazy. living our lives without our loved ones claims us to be strong and brave, but i'm not enough brave for it. you're gonna do it instead of me, and my gratitude will chase you forever.

never forget to love and care! i did the same.

y/n y/l/n

she opened her eyes, sun shining through her eyelids. where the hell she was? feeling something soft under her touch; she laid on sand. little rocks pressed into her palms as she sat up. she didn't know where she was, and she wasn't even certain if she did what she did. coming to her senses, the waves crashed in the ocean only a few foot apart from her. washing the shore, it almost get wet her too. it was peaceful and unusual.

but she was not the only one sitting on the beach.

a figure, 60 feet from her sat just like her in silence, looking at the ocean and the dawning sun. could it be...

standing up, she was unsure in her steps, but somehow, she managed to go closer. it was him. instead of screaming and jumping, she simply crouched beside kurt, looking at him, so she was sure that it's really him. the wind blew his hair, his lips surely were salty from the air. brushing through his hair at the back of his neck, the blonde curls felt like silk. he was an angel.

without saying a word, y/n leaned her head on his shoulder. she could touch him now, watching as the sun bleed through the sky. she felt something warm in her chest–

–sure it wasn't reality. but it didn't even needed to be.

a/n: this is my first oneshot in this genre, and to be honest... i don't want to write more. i just had a very depressed couple of weeks, and this just came into my mind. i won't write fics like this, it turned out that i like domestic comfort and fluff more. if you liked it, or want to request, write in the comments, dm me or write here

stay safe, love yourself girliez,

louisa

#kurt cobain x reader #kurt cobain #nirvana #90s #dave grohl #chris novoselic #send me requests

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redsaurrce · 11 months

Text

LOVE SHOT DOSE 5 <Do you even know what obsession is?>

synopsis 💉 Where jk becomes the part of an experiment where he wasn't supposed to take the love shot but ends up taking it in high dose and gets obsessed with yn by mistake

pairing 💉 YANDERE Scientist!jeon jungkook x Scientist!fem reader

genre 💉 scientist!au , suggestive

word count 💉 5,515

warnings 💉 kissing, mentions of sex, slapping, choking, profanity, mentions of betrayal and cheating

teaser! 1 ml! 2 ml! 3 ml! 4 ml

You opened your eyes slowly, unable to recall why and how you have lost your consciousness.

"It seems you have finally woken up, huh?"

You jolted up from the chair you were snoozing off on and snapped at the source of the voice, "Jimin?" You knitted your eyebrows. "What are you doing here?" You asked in confusion.

He sneered, "Why ofcourse? Where else should I be if not at my own house?"

You blinked and then your eyes went wide when you finally looked around. You must have sounded like a stupid just now, didn't you?

You closed your eyes and sighed in frustration, "So why the hell am I here? I remember us drinking water in my living room."

He smirked, "Do you not remember clearly? I never drank it.. did i?" He said while crossing his arms.

Your eyes went wide again while realising what possibly went down, "You! You... Did you drug me?"

Jimin hummed, "Yes, you were so adamant on kicking me out from your house so I had no choice but to bring you to mine instead. Now you can't tell me get out from my own house, right?" He flashed a cocky smile.

You gritted your teeth in rage, "precisely and so i should be the one getting out of here."

You stormed towards the door at once but he quickly blocked the door with his body in a swift movement.

"Nuh uh~ .. not before I get my answer Y/N. Tell me.. why did you warn me about Ningguang?" He asked.

You grabbed your forehead, "why are you so stuck up with what I have said years ago?!! Yes, I said that because I still loved you and I had heard how close Ganyu was to Ningguang so when Ganyu told me that Ningguang can't be trusted with matters of love .. i was concerned that you might face heartbreak because of her. Does that satisfy you? Now move aside." You said in absolute despise.

Jimin momentarily looked at you with a twisted expression and then spoke, "loved? So you don't love me anymore?" He took a step forward and you backed by one step.

"What nonsense!?? How can you be so delusional to think I'd have feelings for you after what you have done??" You were flabbergasted at his audacity to even ask such a ridiculous thing.

He took one step forward again and held you by your waist to prevent you from stepping back again.

Your eyes went wide at his absurd actions, "How dare y--

"Do you remember this fragrance, Y/N?" He said as he leaned forward to whisper in your ear.

As he had tilted his head, you could clearly smell the fragrance emitting from the crook of his neck.

This scent!!?? The scent of the perfume you had gifted him, the same perfume that had filled the entire bedroom when you both had your first sex-- wait, the bedroom!? You didn't realise up until now that both of you were in his bedroom... The same bedroom that caught both of your act.

You couldn't believe it.. was he trying to seduce you with all his tactics? You scoffed, "Enough of it, Jimin! No matter how hard you try.. you can never win me over again."

"Is that so?" He retrieved his face and looked at you directly, lips utterly close to yours.

"Then why are you not attempting to let go of my grip on your waist!?" He smirked.

WHA--!!??

"Y-you!!--

"It's no use now because i confirmed what I needed to.. you still like me, don't you Y/N-ah?" He said with hope gleaming in his eyes.

You were shocked beyond and above, "What the hell are you even-

He abruptly cut your sentence off with his forefinger rubbing your lower lip.

Even though you hated to admit it, it looks like his little actions were definitely having an effect on you- a deadly one at that. What was clouding your judgement? The scent?.. the seductive skin contact?.. or him?

"I- I need to go." You sensed danger, you felt enchanted and .. hot.

Your temperature was rising up.

"You are burning hot Y/N.. you sure you wanna go?" He said with his cold breath hitting on your hot lips.

"I said let me-

And before you could finish saying, he crashed his lips onto yours. Strangely enough, not only did you not protest his actions, you found your hands snaking around the back of his head and.. deepening the kiss .. almost as if you were hypnotized and knew nothing except for the ongoing kiss.

To your oblivion, a camera which was secretly recording from across the room had captured you and the way you both kept kissing.

But it only lasted for a few minutes until your conscience kicked in. The Fuck!??-

Whack!!!

You removed your face and punched his jaw in absolute horror. "It was the loveshot right!??" Your eyes were about to pop out at any given moment. "You're such an asshole Jimin!!" You gnawed on your lips in rage with tears pooling in your eyes.

"uh-i..i yes but i-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUCK OFF!!!" You growled in anger and stormed out of his door.

Jungkook saw nothing but red, he felt betrayed.. for the first time. He is famously known for having a heartthrob personality but ironically he has never let anyone have his own heart.. have his love.. his trust.

Perhaps you were the first person to whom he had led down the walls surrounding his heart, when Sucrose told him about the reality of his feelings.. it did confuse and frustrate him but now that you have gone missing and the picture of you kissing another guy lied in front of his eyes.. it made him see what he has never seen.

A world full of red and green.

He kept calling Jimin again and again but he never picked up- fair enough. Jungkook suddenly remembered how you had mentioned earlier that Jimin's girlfriend.. who was it again.. Ningguang? Yeah! she works in the same lab he just returned from so why not go meet with her instead?

You were back to your apartment with no sign of Jungkook anywhere. You were tired.. you needed some rest after what you had just encountered and you wished how Jungkook never gets to know about it.

You looked for your phone so that you could ask about the experiment's progress. When you unlocked your phone.. you saw Jungkook's missed call and several text messages from Sucrose.

You opened the chat and saw a thread of pictures. It was the report of the experiment.

You walked over to your sofa and sat on it to read the entire thing comfortably.

"what the hell!??" You frowned when you read the report of Jungkook after Shin-won's. "Ob-obsessed!?" You blinked in lack of words.

You quickly dialed her number, "Hey uh I saw the messages and the report.. what on earth is going on?" You bit your lip in nervousness.

She sighed, "It's just as you've read Y/N" she gulped and continued, "It seems that Jungkook has developed the feelings of obsession which is.. like.. not really ideal." She said anxiously.

"Then.. are you saying he doesn't have a cure? Any sort of antidote?" You asked in tension.

"When was the last time he had temperature fluctuations?" She asked you in return.

"uh.. I think they lasted for 3 days at most after he was discharged from hospital--" you abruptly stopped as you realised something.

"Y/N.. antidote exists for the shot, even though the report mentions that the antidote has not been successful in his case, in my opinion.. the antidote has worked well if he doesn't have abrupt fevers like before." She gritted her teeth, "You know what that means right??"

Your throat had run dry, "Do you mean to say that.. the obsession is no more because of the loveshot, instead these are his own feelings..correct?"

"Yes! You guys had promised that the loveshot only helps to accelerate and intensify the romantic feelings and when the love is restored, couples can very well stop taking the dose. Antidote was there to null the effects of loveshot but according to my speculation, Jungkook's overdose got aligned with his.. perhaps.. already existing feelings and before the antidote could null them, his system had already gone beyond the point of return."

This had to be a dream.. this is worse than any nightmare.

"For now I suggest that you act oblivious to this and meanwhile we can look for the solution because I'm afraid that if he gets to know that you are trying to get rid of him, I don't know what his obsession is capable of." She said.

"Yeah you're --

You suddenly heard a loud noise.

You hurriedly bid goodbye to Sucrose on the phone and walked towards the door only to find an outrageous Jungkook.

You felt your blood draining from your face, and when he saw you, he at once plunged at you, choking you against the wall.

You were beyond horrified.

"L-let go." You continuously kept struggling but his hold on your neck was ridiculously stiff and tight. "Explain yourself Y/N!! Didn't you say you didn't like that bastard?? WHAT WAS THE FUCKING KISS FOR???"

"K-kiss?!?" You said with your breath growing shallower.

Shoot! How did he know? Was it Jimin? You thought to yourself while tears involuntarily started flowing from your eyes due to the sheer pain.

When Jungkook saw the tears, it felt as if he was hit by a truck. He quickly let go of you as guilt stung his heart.

You fell on the ground while coughing and gasping for dear air, what kind of monstrosity was this!??

Jungkook fell on his knees and looked at you with worries in his eyes, "I-I am sorry I didn't mean to hurt you Y/N" his lips quivered, "I am very very sorry Y/N I--

"What gives you the right to hurt me then? Why would you choke me? Why on earth would you do something like this, Jungkook? Oh- did I mention that all of it was a trap? You remember giving him the loveshot right? That asshole had used that on me!" Your voice cracked as you looked in his eyes for answers.

He felt relieved when he heard you but then again he felt so idiotic and foolish- He facepalmed himself real hard, as if almost slapping himself across the face, "Jimin sent me a pic of both of you kissing, I remembered you telling me about your hatred towards him so when I saw it.. I just lost my mind- You know right, Y/N? What state am I in? This is not me, I am a good guy I promise." He said while biting his lower lip.

Not him? Hah! It seems like Jungkook really doesn't know that you know about his reality. After all Sucrose had vowed to keep today's report confidential but she broke the rule just for you to be the one to know as well. Jungkook knew you knew nothing about this just how you hoped he knew nothing about the darn kiss.

But why did Jimin do that? Why would he provoke Jungkook? Isn't he himself in a relationship? Did he have any ulterior motives? Also where had Jungkook gone off before coming to your apartment with such anger?

While you were lost in your thoughts you suddenly felt his lips on your skin. He was kissing your neck, the part where his fingers left a trace of choking.

"You don't have to do that." You said while looking the other way.

"I know I hurt you Y/N and I'd never ever do that again, please give me one more chance Y/N and I'll treat you right, please Y/N." He said in between kisses.

Don't let Jungkook know that you know about him and it would be best if you don't trigger him.. give in to him if possible Y/N.

Sucrose's words played in your head once again. You said, "Alright this is your last chance, Jungkook."

3 hours ago

When Jungkook figured out a way to find Jimin, he at once rushed to the lab where Ningguang works. After asking around people for her he finally got to see her.

"Are you Ningguang?" Jungkook asked in anticipation. The woman looked at him in confusion, "Yes, that's me.. and you are?"

"I'm Jungkook and I am here to ask for Jimin's home address." He cut to the chase.

Ningguang knitted her eyebrows, "Excuse me, what kind of request is that?"

Jungkook sighed, "Yes i know it seems absurd but I have no time to explain, perhaps I can do that in my car because what I'm about to show you.. i assume you'd want to tag along." He said.

She shrugged her shoulders, "What is it that you want to show me?"

He took his phone out and tapped on the message icon and handed it over to her. She took the phone in confusion when suddenly her eyes went wide looking at Jimin's text and especially.. the picture.

She gasped in astonishment, "What is this?" She asked Jungkook in shock.

"Well see? That girl over there.. can you recognise her?" He asked her.

Even though it pained Ningguang to look at the photo, she bit her lip and zoomed in the pic only to get utterly dumbfounded. Her heartbeat started to race, "Y-Y/N!?? Is that her??" She was unable to breathe, betrayal hit her in the most sick way possible.

"Calm down, we need answers right?" He said.

Ningguang's eyes became moist, "Alright I-I'll go."

Jimin heard a knock on his door. He smirked to himself, "Must be him." He practically ran towards his door to welcome Jungkook's angry face but he didn't expect his girlfriend too be standing at his door next to him.

Jungkook grabbed his collar at once and growled, "You bastard!! Why did you do that?! WHYYY??"

Jimin scoffed, "If you look closely at the photo then you will see that she is willingly kissing me, I didn't force anyone. Why don't you go and ask her instead of me? " He grinned for not too long as Jungkook landed a punch on his face.

Ningguang quickly came from behind and pleaded Jungkook to stop, "Enough! You should stop here, Jungkook! I'll handle him.. why don't you hurry back to Y/N?"

"Oh!? And where is she??" He asked in a mocking manner.

"She's-ah damn it hurts- she's long gone mate!" Jimin said after wincing in pain.

Jungkook gritted his teeth and threw him on the ground, "If you repeat a stunt like this ever again then I'll kill you without any hesitation." Jimin's eyes twitched at Jungkook's warning.

As soon as he left, Ningguang slapped Jimin, "So you have decided to go to your ex now? Why? Why didn't you tell me? Since when are you two together??" She screamed.

Jimin sighed, now he realized that he indeed had done something wrong after getting hit by three different people on the same day. "I'm not cheating on you Ning I promise. I'm doing this for you, trust me." He said while adjusting himself to sit straight.

"Say something that makes sense!" She said in confusion.

Jimin looked around his bedroom and pointed his forefinger towards a particular direction. "Do you see that?" Ningguang followed his gaze and spotted a red light twinkling fadely.

She knitted her eyebrows, "is.. is that a camera?"

He hummed, "Or else who would have taken the photo? But you know what?! I have actually recorded everything that has happened here ever since she was here. As for the question - how is it beneficial for you.. it's quite simple! I remember you telling me once that how the lab you work at and the lab where y/n works are practically rivals. Both of you are top of the nation and often compete to get favours from the president."

"Yeah it's mostly because of the funds." She said. Jimin added, "Yes, and so I want to prove how Y/N's invention is actually a bane to human ethics. See, i don't like Y/N and I'm pretty sure that she doesn't like me either judging by how enraged she was afterwards- BUT!! Look how she was enchanted for a while in the kiss.. it was because of her own invention - the loveshot."

Ningguang listened to him intently and after a moment of grasping the situation, she finally spoke, "So what you mean is that you recorded everything to use it against her and bring her lab down?"

Jimin clicked his fingers, "Bingo!"

A small smile crept up her face, "I get it.. I knew you wouldn't betray me.. afterall I've paid your mother's hospital bills while you were hesitant to ask Y/N for money.. I know you wouldn't betray me." She said and hugged him while Jimin's fake smile faltered.

Only if he could go back to you, even if doing something like this gave him an excuse to kiss you.. he was glad to do so before finally letting you go.

Last night after Jungkook had apologized to you, he didn't stop after that and kept kissing your neck, your face, your lips, your hands, picked you up and laid you down the bed and kept apologizing while exposing your every body part just to cover it with his fluttering kisses.

And it didn't stop there until you both eventually had steamy sexual intercourse.

Your phone's ringtone woke you up early in the morning. You rubbed your eyes and quickly took the call.

"hello Sucrose-

"Y/N WE'RE SCREWED!!!!" She screamed.

"ahh why are you screaming?" You said while removing the phone away a bit.

"i- I was in the office and when i was getting out i heard few people say that they are going to hold a press conference." She said while biting her nail in anxiety.

"oh and what's that gotta do with us getting screwed?" You asked while yawning.

"It's about loveshot!!!!!" Suddenly you felt your sleep immediately vanishing.

"WHAT!??" You exclaimed.

Jungkook who was sleeping next to you woke up at your scream. "Yes!! And apparently they are doing so to bring you down since i heard someone say about some sort of evidence."

"Evidence!? What kind of evidence!?" You frowned.

"I don't know that but do you remember doing something out of the place yesterday? I only heard them getting some important evidence yesterday." She reasoned.

"Yesterday, what happened yester--" you stopped mid sentence as you recalled the incident at Jimin's place. You gasped, was this the true intention of Jimin all along?? You couldn't believe it, no way it's for Ningguang, right?

"Is.. is Ningguang the one who's presenting the evidence?" You asked her anxiously.

"Oh how do you know her? And yeah she's the one." Sucrose clarified.

"We... Are truly screwed." You said feeling defeated.

You and your team including Sucrose had gathered together in your living room waiting for the press conference to go live on YouTube.

It finally struck 12 pm- the scheduled time and the screen started loading hinting at the conference to be finally starting.

"good afternoon everyone, we are from Minerva laboratories. I'm Ningguang, one of the head scientists of Minerva and today we have gathered here to expose the dirty truth about the loveshot- the invention that has been going viral in social media waiting for its official release, the invention stemming from the Arctic laboratories."

Ningguang turned around and switched on the projector, "The loveshot that claims to be the cupid for people's lost love.. does that really end there? They claim that whichever person you look at first after opening your eyes after taking the shot.. you'll feel a bit of attraction or rather, infatuation towards them. What if the person turns out to be a handsome serial killer, luring its prey using this shot?? If you think we are exaggerating then don't worry and look at this." She said and clicked on her remote.

A video started playing on the wall behind her. Although the faces were blurred and a voice changer was being used to protect the privacy, your eyes went wide when you realised that the people in the shown video were none other than you and Jimin.

You let out a light scoff, "Dammit!" You felt this to be so ridiculous.

You sighed and looked at Shin-won, "Prepare a press conference from our side too, it's our invention afterall and as the lead scientist here, i should take the responsibility." You got up from the sofa and went inside another room.

The three of your phones started to bombard with messages and calls from everyone from your lab including the chief but you picked no one's and advised Jungkook and Shin-won to do the same.

At 5 o'clock you had reached the venue where you were going to have the press conference.

15 minutes passed by while preparing the stage and you stood on the podium, ready with your lines running in your head. In front of you sat a number of reporters who had gathered to film your 'apology'.

Ultimately it was the views that mattered to them since your experiment became the hot topic in the entire nation. Every reporter and news agency would love to flash the exclusives.

You tapped on the mic and breathed to calm yourself down. The countdown started and in 3..2..1-

"Hello everyone, I'm Song Y/N from Arctic laboratories and the lead scientist of inventing loveshot. About the conference that you might have seen earlier today.. I would like to clarify a few things here, first, we are still in the experimental phase and not available to public yet hence there is no need to worry about serial killers going around buying loveshot and hunting their prey. Moreover we always have a fixed count of distribution of the shots so in no way we would allow anyone to use except us in order to conduct experiments on our subjects."

"Second, since I already mentioned we are still in the experimental phase.. it simply means that we are constantly trying to improve any defects or holes in our invention. About the subjects we are using for experiments, we are also providing them with antidotes for the shot."

"Which leads to number three, if all our shots are being used on people for experiments then who are those two in the video?" You paused and resumed after a second, "It's me and my ex."

You heard audible gasps in the room, everyone looked shocked at the unexpected revelation.

"Yes and it actually happened that he had taken it from me. Basically our loveshot has already scored perfect in the purpose it had to serve, that is to mend feelings with your lover. With that in mind I gave him the shot thinking that he would use it on him or his girlfriend but it turns out that I was short sighted. When I realised that the loveshot was used on me, i understood that this shot can be quite dangerous for humanity. Even though in my second point I have mentioned that we are constantly dealing and modifying any defects for which I have come up with an idea of inventing a solution to this- I think we should give up for the good."

Shin-won and Jungkook felt like the lightning had struck them.

You bowed to everyone and left the stage.

With every step that you took, your heart grew heavier as if you were crushing your dreams more and more under your feet. The crowd of reporters rushed towards you to ask you more questions yet it felt that the world only had you, you were completely deaf to the buzz that surrounded you.

Just when you were exiting the hall, someone screamed at the top of their lungs, "Y/N DON'T GIVE UP!!" Your eyes went wide as if someone snapped you out of your thoughts.

You looked at the direction to look at an unfamiliar face, "EVERYONE OPEN YOUR PHONES AND SEARCH THE CHANNEL SEVEN NEWS." The person shouted again.

You blinked blankly and just then Jungkook and Shin-won came running towards you to escort you to a less crowded area.

Everyone hurriedly switched on their gadgets and searched for the said news channel ,Jungkook who was sitting beside you did the same for the three of you to watch together.

Ganyu?? You were surprised to see her on the screen.

"Hello everyone I'm newsreporter Ganyu all the way from Seoul. The loveshot is trending on number one in Naver all across the nation, today at noon the Minerva laboratories have accused the loveshot as a bane to humanity which has left the internet divided. People on Twitter are trending the hash tag of boycottloveshot. Just 10 minutes ago the Arctic laboratories have released their statement of stopping their project but the public has different opinions. As you can already see the large crowd of people behind me, let's go and ask them for their opinions."

Ganyu walked towards an middle aged couple and spoke, "Sir, mam.. what do you think about the controversy regarding loveshot?" She forwarded her mic towards them, "Uh.. the news came out all of a sudden, to be honest we were really looking forward to the loveshot. This is my wife and we both had signed up for the beta testing of loveshot after our children had suggested us. Frankly speaking, our marriage hasn't been quite ideal since a few years, even though we were together, there was no love between us and we had constant fights to the point that we even decided to file for a divorce. Luckily after we went for the experiment we actually noticed drastic positive changes, we have felt the love that was long lost inside our hearts and ever since then we have been patiently looking forward to its official release. "

"Okay thankyou for your words sir. Now let us ask the couple over there." Ganyu took the cameraman with her towards a couple of young adults, "What are your views over the controversy that's surrounding loveshot? "

"Hi I'm Jess and this is my boyfriend Minho, we have known each other since middle school and started dating since high school but we always had an on and off relationship. Like when we are together, we feel estranged but when we break up we feel like we can't live without each other.. this push and pull was getting real tiresome so we thought of giving the loveshot a shot..ya know! And honestly this is the best decision we have ever made. Now we are happily together and even though we begged them for extra samples, they said that we will get it when it officially releases. Man I feel so bummed now!" She clicked her tongue.

Her boyfriend then spoke, "Didnt the lead scientist say that it was her in the video? And that she was even planning to resolve problems.. I just believe that since she has experienced such a horrible thing first hand.. I'm sure she will give her best to make her invention flawless so that nobody gets hurt by it."

Suddenly you felt a strange feeling stir up inside you after listening to this boy's words. The whole crowd turned towards you with expectant eyes but you kept looking at the screen.

Shin-won's mobile rang, when he picked up and answered the unknown caller he was shocked to know who had called him, he looked at you and mouthed, "It's the CEO of Signora laboratories. They want to offer their help to us."

You shook your head, " Turn them down for now, I've decided that I won't abandon this experiment, i won't let you guys down, i won't let our hard work go to waste.. I am sorry for not discussing this with you guys before." You sighed and pressed your lips in a thin line.

"It's okay Y/N, you should follow your heart and whatever you do we will support you." Jungkook said while giving your hand a light squeeze.

You nodded and stood up and made your way to the stage again.

"I'm thankful for the support from everyone, I have finally realised that i should not give up on this and I have decided to continue despite any hardships, thankyou very much everyone." You smiled and bowed again.

1 year later

You had finally come up with a brilliant solution and your team had successfully achieved what seemed impossible just a year ago.

Ever since the day of press conference, you had moved to States to work with Sucrose in secret since she didn't want to expose herself and put her and your reputation at stake since she was an official scientist at Minerva.

Jungkook and Shin-won were working from Korea and honestly this was a great excuse for you to be away from him, from the person who was obsessed with you in an unhealthy way.

Even though the days were busy, you were peaceful and calm at mind.

The invention you had come up with was a shot sensor and antipills.

At first you had thought of making something similar like loveshot but the effects would be opposite.. a hateshot so that you could get rid of the feelings Jungkook had for you.

"No that won't work, I mean yeah he might hate you for a while but everything will come back to normal again because hate is not his original feelings towards you.. right? This is just like alcohol, you have it at night and at day you're sober again." Sucrose stated her opinion.

"Then.. we can make a sensor, that senses the presence of loveshot vapours at a specific radius and after that if they feel endangered then they can take the antipills so that the loveshot wouldn't work on them.. what do you say?" You wiggled your eyebrows.

She pouted, "Not a bad idea, I'm in, it sounds fun!"

And so you guys worked day and night to make this come true.

It took you guys about one year and finally the loveshot became available for public use.

After two months your invention was nominated as the invention of the year and won several other awards for which you needed to fly back to Korea to receive them.

When you came back from the award ceremony, you thought of staying the night at your old apartment and tomorrow morning you'd fly to Sydney to take a month off for vacation and also to avoid Jungkook as much as possible.

Earlier at the ceremony the three of you received the prizes and even though you had tried to persuade Sucrose, she was hell bent on being anonymous for the sake of her career.

You even suggested that she should just change the labs but she said that she was already working on a huge project with other scientists so she can't betray her co-workers by leaving them halfway.

When you entered your apartment you were shocked to see the door was not locked, did a thief break in or something?

Your heart started beating faster and when you switched on the light, you saw Jungkook sitting on your sofa with his legs crossed. You almost flinched in horror, "Damn! When did you get here? We were together during the ceremony!"

He stood up, "Well.. you were busy chatting with your coworkers and other people, trying your best to avoid me.. isn't it? So i hurried back here."

Your eyes went wide a bit, "What are you saying? Why would I avoid you?" You nervously chuckled.

"No no no, do you take me for a fool Y/N? You ran away to US to get away from me.. I also heard that you'll be going to Sydney tomorrow for another month." He sighed and stepped towards you, "I wonder where's your next stop."

You gulped, "You are wrong..i-i only did that-

"Yeah yeah same ol' excuses and lies. Do you know how I feel about us? I feel like dying when I can't see you, what do you think I'm feeling after knowing that you will run away again?"

"Jungkook snap out of it! I'm not someone you like.. it's the loveshot. You should find someone -

"stop please stop! I know who I like and whom I don't, Y/N.. you know what?? If you leave me again then I will join the Signora laboratories and not just that- I'll also expose Sucrose as an important member during our experimentation.. not only will she lose her job, you and Arctic will lose its face too while I'll no longer be a part of Arctic." He said making his points crystal clear to you.

Your jaw dropped at his evil plan, you scoffed, "You are willing to do so much only for me to be with you!?"

"Yes! Y/N, do you even know what obsession is? For me.. it is to have you at any cost. It is to make you mine whether you like it or not. You have no other option Y/N." His lips morphed into a smirk while looking at your dumbfounded face.

"You are mine and only mine."

May you guys sleep well tonight, mwahh <33

Huhu aaaaaahhhhhh that was the end, did you guys like it? Please let me know (fun fact: I died a little everytime I felt the story was not going to end soon TvT)

BONUS: If you have any questions, send them in and I'll include them in the characters' profile+interview post (along with ur username<3)

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fizzyxcustard · 3 months

Text

Covert Eyes (23)

Masterlist of fan fiction

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x OC (Amy Holland)

Warnings: Stalking behaviour, anxiety, language, sexual references, angst, smut, heartbreak, gunshot wounds and recovery, abduction, hostage situation.

Summary: Lucas takes notice of a young woman, Amy, but his obsession and want to get to know her begin to spiral out of control. Amy is now working for MI-5, after being recruited by Ros. But will her involvement with Lucas cause even more problems and heartbreak?

When Amy's parents get involved, how will things pan out for Amy and Lucas?

Official soundtrack list: here

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Bright light burst into the room and the familiar voices of Ros and Jo broke through the shroud of silence that had formed in the room. Halos around their heads. Amy winced against the light….

As Amy lay in bed, waking, she saw Lucas’ outline, his form haloed by a bright light. He was in the doorway. Every time he stood in the doorway, the room dark, with only light from the hallway behind him, it took her back. It felt as if she were time travelling back to her time locked away with nothing by Simon Caulfield’s slimy words for company.

Lucas limped into the room. She could hear his shouts in her mind as Simon Caulfield had put a bullet in his thigh merely seconds before Ros and Jo saved them. Then once they had both been released, Amy and Lucas had been in hospital overnight. They had been given their own private room due to the nature of their reasoning for being in hospital.

Harry had given them both time off to recuperate, and offered counselling. Lucas, as he had done many times, politely rejected Harry’s offer. However, Amy knew that she would probably find herself fighting against the memories for some time.

Lucas got into bed beside Amy, and studied her for a moment. There were dark circles beneath her eyes, but gradually they had begun to fade and the light in her eyes was starting to reappear.

Amy curled her arm around his head, her fingers sifting through his short hair. He was literally her everything.

***

Richard Holland held a small package in his hand, thinking back on the postman’s words that it had been sent first class but accidentally got lost at the depot, so was a week late. He ripped open the thick envelope finding a small stack of papers inside. On the top was a note, written in capital letters.

RICHARD AND SHARON HOLLAND,

THE ENCLOSED PHOTOGRAPHS ARE PROOF THAT LUCAS NORTH IS NOT WHO HE APPEARS TO BE. YOUR DAUGHTER IS IN DANGER.

Richard felt his whole body grow cold at the sight of photos of Amy bound to a chair and blindfolded. Then further photographs showed Amy lying on the pavement in a pool of her own blood, next to another woman also shot. With Lucas standing over both of them, a gun in his hand.

***

Amy and Lucas were still off work when the phone call came. Lucas was sat on the sofa with a mug of coffee, flicking through the channels, rolling his eyes at how shit day time TV was. Amy had been cleaning the kitchen; mundane tasks were enough to take her mind away from the thoughts of Simon Caulfield. The pain in her neck and back was fading day by day, but still enough to cause her grief and keep up a steady dose of painkillers.

“Dad?” Amy asked. “Everything okay?” Amy sat down at the kitchen table and sighed, wincing at sharp stab of pain which shot through her neck.

“I’m coming to fetch you, Amy. You’re not to stay with that bastard any longer!” Richard Holland demanded. “Your mum knew there was something behind the shooter; I know she was involved with Lucas. And I know you were took hostage last week.”

A rod of ice shot down Amy’s back and her heart raced in her chest. “D…Dad….what’s happened?”

“I’m coming to London to get you. He better not be there when I come because I’ll kill the bastard!” Richard seethed.

“Dad, please, stop it.”

“No, I won’t stop it, Amy. I am not prepared to let him do this to you. It’s a good job your mum is at work and hasn’t seen the photos. I won’t let her see them.”

“Who sent you the photos?”

“It doesn’t matter who sent them. I’m coming to get you. Pack some things.”

“Dad…please….”

Lucas could hear Amy’s pleas and hobbled into the kitchen. “Aim, what’s going on?”

Richard growled down the phone line. “Trying to play the protector now, is he? He can fuck himself. He’d better not be there when I come and get you because I really will kill him…”

Amy was weeping as her father disconnected the call. She held the phone in her shaking hand, until it finally fell from her grasp and hit the floor. “Dad knows!” she sobbed. “He’s got photos of me from last week and when I was shot. He’s coming to take me back to Coventry. I can’t leave.”

Lucas’ breath caught in his throat. Everything he loved was slipping away, and for a few seconds he tried to grapple with some kind of rational thought. He knew he couldn’t fight this one; Amy’s father was right. Despite having not heard Richard’s side of the conversation, Lucas knew he was doing the right thing. Amy had to be safe.

Amy dashed at Lucas, grabbing his shirt. She could see in his face that he was admitting defeat.

“You need to go with him, Aim. They can keep you safe: I can’t,” Lucas said, his voice breaking. “I love you too much to let you keep being hurt. He’s doing this because he loves you, Amy. He fucking loves you…and so do I.” His voice finally broke. Tears fell down Lucas’ cheeks and he took Amy into his arms, holding her tight. “Go with him, angel. I can’t keep you safe anymore.”

“You can,” Amy wept, looking up at him. “I want to be with you, Lucas. More than anything. Don’t push me away.”

“I’m not pushing you away because I want to. Fuck. Can’t you see that? It’s because I love you more than anything that I’m doing this.”

“If I do go, I’ll come back,” Amy argued. “They can’t make me stay.”

Lucas smiled through the tears. “You are the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

The next two hours were crippling as Amy packed two suitcases full of clothing. Lucas watched her from the doorway, knowing that letting her go was the only way to keep her safe. Amy belonged with her family who could be the stability she needed. “I am coming back,” Amy said defiantly, stopping for a second with a pile of underclothes in her hands. “I don’t intend on staying there for long.”

“You’ll stay as long as you need to.”

“I’m only doing this to please you and Dad for now, but I’ll be coming back,” Amy countered. She approached Lucas and lifted her hand, cupping his cheek. He kissed her palm, turning into her touch. Then suddenly he kissed her hard, catching her off guard. Heat mounted so high between them and within seconds, Lucas’ lips were trailing down Amy’s throat.

They made love on the bed. It was like the very first time they had made love: intense, passionate, full of want. As Lucas came and then rested his head on her chest, he whispered, “I need to let you go.”

“Lucas, no!” Amy whimpered. “Don’t you dare!”

Lucas got up from the bed, untangling himself from her and re-buttoned his shirt, and then pulled his jeans up, re-buckling his belt.

“When we got back together, I should have known I wouldn’t be worth it,” Amy growled. “I’m never worth it, am I?”

“You are worth everything!” Lucas shot back. His eyes were wide and his whole face was contorted in anger and frustration. “How the fuck can you say you’re not worth it? I’m doing this because I love you. I should have known better than ever bring you into any of this. I should have stayed away when I first saw you.”

Amy choked as she heard those words and dropped to the bed. “You regret me….”

“I would never regret you. I only regret that I caused you so much pain. Your dad won’t be too much longer, I don’t think.” He looked at the clock; Coventry was about a three hour drive away from London. It was now just after one in the afternoon and Richard had called at eleven. “Go with your dad. You are loved so much more than you could ever imagine. By all of us.”

Lucas walked out of the room and picked up his keys in the hallway.

Amy followed on behind, calling after him.

Before Lucas left the flat, he kissed Amy hard one last time. “I adore you so much,” he choked. “Be happy, angel, but more important, be safe.”

Amy sobbed on the doorstep as Lucas left. She watched his form walk down the hallway and out the main door into the street. Pain was ripping her so raw inside and in her own mind she knew that she could never give up on Lucas North completely. No matter what happened and what evil things were thrown at them. Their love would be stronger than any of it.

***

Amy sat in her dad’s car as they drove back to Coventry. There was only silence and the gentle sway of the car as it swept along the motorway. Until Richard broke open the silence. “Fancy a coffee?”

“Okay,” Amy whispered, her voice so hoarse after sobbing. Her cheeks were still vivid red and her eyes full of unshed tears. They threatened to fall at any moment. Just her dad’s kindness and soft voice made her want to cry all over again. Of course he was only protecting her; that had never been in dispute. That was all he and Lucas were doing.

Richard slipped out of the car and headed into a Costa at a motorway service station. Rain was beginning to spit as dark clouds began to move in. Amy stared out of the window, her focus glued to the spot in front of her where a family were getting into their car. A dark haired man, accompanied by a blonde woman. A toddler and an older child, who looked to be around ten. They looked happy.

The sound of the driver door opening snapped Amy back to reality and made her jump. Richard noticed his daughter’s shock and smiled sadly at her. “Here you go, love,” he said, offering her a large latte. “Extra shot of caramel.” Then he winked.

As Richard started the engine, he sighed. “I’m sorry, Amy,” he said. “I’m only doing this for your good; you know that, don’t you? I know you love Lucas. But being with him is going to put you at risk.”

“I know, Dad,” Amy said, her voice quiet. “I know you’re doing this to help me and because you love me.”

“You might be a grown woman, but your mum and I would do anything for you, you know that. We want you safe. No matter how old your children get, your responsibility for them never stops.”

The car was still stationary as Richard glanced across at Amy’s hands in her lap, and he noticed something dark around her wrist as her jumper sleeve had ridden up her arm. “Fucking hell,” he whispered. “Your wrists.”

***

Lucas slammed the flat door as he walked back inside, knowing Amy would be gone by now. The silence was deafening, and a gasp came from the very back of his throat. She’d gone. Her room was tidy, but her diary from her bedside table was gone, along with her slippers and most of the toiletries from the bathroom. He opened her wardrobe, just to feel the pain of her departure even more. There were barely any clothes left.

In the kitchen and Lucas slumped down on the floor, feeling the cold of tiles against his backside and thighs. Pain from the bullet wound shot down his leg, but he didn’t care. The pain couldn’t compare to that of letting Amy go. He pulled his phone from his jeans pocket and looked at the photo of them on his lock screen. She was his everything. Though the pain was excruciating, her very presence in his life had helped him to feel once more. All of the emotional and mental numbness he had felt since coming home from Russia, had been burned away by Amy Holland. She made him feel happiness, contentment, love, pleasure. But also pain. Pain seemed to be a constant in his life now, a permanent friend.

***

Amy stepped into her parents’ house, feeling the wave of familiarity rush through her. The smell of a home she had left many years ago – it was still exactly the same. It hadn’t been that long since she and Lucas had been visiting for new year, but this was different. Today marked the day she would be staying for longer. Maybe until all of this blew over, and then she could be with Lucas again. So she hoped.

“Your mum isn’t home yet, but I’ve burned the photos. I can’t let her see those. What happened, Amy? The truth, please,” Richard asked, his voice was low but firm. He had never been a demanding man, instead always being gentle with his daughters. But today had shown Amy just how fierce he really could be. “You know who sent those images, don’t you?”

“It’s all secret information…”

“No, Amy! I won’t have that shit,” Richard growled. “Tell me. I don’t care if it’s top secret and a risk to national security, or whatever, you’re my daughter and I deserve to know what happened to you.”

Amy stood in the kitchen and looked up at her dad who was waiting for an answer. He had his arms folded and his face was set in a straight expression.

“The woman who shot me was Lucas’ ex and a CIA agent. She faked her death because she killed her boss and went on the run. Then she must have found out about me and Lucas, and tried to make me think he wasn’t really in love with me. And she collared us outside the café that morning and went to shoot Lucas, but I stopped her. And Lucas killed her.”

Richard sighed and held his hand to his mouth. “Fucking hell, Amy.”

“It was Sarah’s brother who took me hostage, wanting to get revenge on him. Apparently, the accomplice of Simon Caulfield was Sarah’s ex-husband; I was told that in the hospital. They went rogue together to get revenge on Lucas.”

“And you were still prepared to stay with him after all this?” Richard asked, his eyes wide.

“I love him,” Amy replied softly. Tears were falling down her cheeks again. “I’ve never loved anyone else like this, and he actually loves me back. For so long I never felt I’d ever find a man who could love me...”

“Oh, love,” Richard sighed. He took Amy into his arms and held her tight as she wept on him. Through tears, Richard looked up at the ceiling, asking in prayer for the strength to be what his daughter needed.

Once Sharon was home from work, Richard explained the whole story to his wife.

“Where are the photos, Rich?” Sharon asked. Her dark eyes were wide with shock and her hands were shaking.

Amy was sat at the other end of the table, feeling as though her whole body was closed off. She hung her head, feeling ashamed of everything that had occurred.

“It doesn’t matter about the photos. I got rid of them. I wasn’t letting you see them,” Richard replied.

Sharon walked towards her daughter. She was slow and deliberate, and her gaze was locked on her daughter’s arms. Her skin was concealed by a thick jumper. Sharon leaned down and gently pushed the sleeve up on Amy’s left arm. “Oh, God,” she gasped, seeing black and purple bruising around Amy’s wrist.

***

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katuschka · 1 month

Text

Olalla – Chapter Two

Josh Kiszka x female OC

1903 words

(This one is rather short, but that's intentional. This passage should be posted separately, because of the mood. I promise the next one will be posted very soon.)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere. Even though this chapter is rather harmless, the rest of the story won't be.

Warnings: melancholy, allusions to heartbreak, allusions to the death of a close person, alcohol consumption

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Agnieszka

“I brought some blankets.”

Even though he invited me to join him, I really wasn’t sure how to approach him. He was cute, and had been very friendly so far, but something about him almost intimidated me. I couldn’t really put my finger on it. Not many people traveled alone here, and those who did were usually seasoned climbers with one thing in mind (maybe two). This obviously wasn’t the case. He didn’t have any equipment when he arrived, not even a pair of decent boots. No lone wolf craving his daily dose of adventure; he was like a nightingale that got lost. Yet, this place seemed to be exactly where he wanted to be.

That man simply made me irrationally nervous. So I fell into the role I knew best: a caretaker. I handed him the blanket and he accepted it with a silent smile, but kept it folded in his lap while he watched his hands laying on the chequered pattern for several long seconds as if he saw them for the first time. He really wasn’t making it any easier for me.

“You were much more eloquent this afternoon.” I tried to sound as unaffected and playful as possible, but the sudden shift in his behaviour from bubbly to brooding was palpable and for a brief moment, it made me rethink my decision to join him. I felt like an idiot just standing there. It was almost dark now and the automatic lights above the veranda went on, effectively turning the perceived sky from electric to navy blue and at the same time putting out the stars that just started blinking. The artificial light still barely reached us, though, and with him facing the other side of the garden, I could only see the outlines of his profile. It was, however, enough to tell me he was troubled.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I had a rather unpleasant phone call earlier this evening.” He shifted a bit to make more room for me and threw the blanket over his shoulders. “Please, sit. I’d love to have some company.”

Would he! Was he running from something? Or someone? I wrapped myself in the other blanket and climbed on the withered wooden table next to him. “So…I hope you don’t mind me asking, but why are you travelling alone?” He smiled ruefully and looked at me for the first time. The mischievous twinkle from earlier that day was gone. He really did look sad.

I was very much aware that it was a blunt question, but still also one I asked frequently, for practical reasons, so I decided to play this card, hoping that he wouldn’t get offended. I’d have to ask anyway, sooner or later. “I don’t want to pry, really, it’s just part of my job to give you proper instructions. It’s generally not advised to go hiking alone, and if you do, the lodging provider should be notified about your daily plan, so that we could give the mountain rescue service some valuable information about your approximate location if necessary. It’s just a common policy. The weather is unpredictable here and you might easily find yourself seeking a makeshift shelter somewhere on the way…” I know, it was still pretty lame.

He only nodded. “Noted…I see I’m in good hands…and as to why, I just wanted to. I think I needed some alone time. I’m just not used to it, I guess…and it’s only harder when the ghosts won’t leave you alone.”

“So, a ghost called?”

My question made him laugh. It was genuine this time, and it sounded like sleigh bells. “Yeah, you could put it that way.” He took a sip of his drink and, remembering why he invited me in the first place, handed me the second, unopened can. I don’t really drink beer, and that wasn’t why I came, but I accepted anyway.

“Is that why you were singing?” It had been a woeful melody and judging by his current state of mind, it had been an intentional choice, too. He didn’t respond at first and I saw how his jaw clenched. My own insolence surprised me, but what was I supposed to do, ask him what he thought about the daisies in our garden? Still, I didn’t want to make it sound like I was interrogating him, so I quickly tried to turn it into mindless chatter. “That’s what I was doing when I was little. Me and my sister, actually. We would sing when we were alone in the evening, to chase away ghosts and fairies.” I regretted it immediately. Good job Olalla, now you sound like you never grew up.

He looked at me again, and the twinkle was back. He could see right through me. “You’re not the one to talk about the weather, are you. That’s ok, I like it. I’ve had enough chit chat in my life.” A car just passed by behind the garden fence and the headlights illuminated his face for a brief moment. He gave me just a side glance, so I could take a good look at his profile for the first time. A strange man, indeed. His features were symmetrical and delicate – plump lips with a slight pout, a straight nose with just a tiny bump at the bridge, and oh, those big dark eyes – but it was still masculine enough to be considered attractive, with sharp jawlines and well-tended facial hair. His haircut was strange, and he wore earrings too. Clearly a bohemian of sorts. You really couldn’t blame me for wanting to know who he was and what whim made him come here. I felt emboldened to continue.

“I just did talk about the weather,” I teased. “But you’re right. I could politely ask you where you’re from and what you’re planning to do tomorrow, or some other meaningless casual shit. But, since you don’t even have decent clothes with you, I already know your only plan so far is to go shopping. Our guests often sing tramp songs around the fireplace, but you’re the first lonely siren we’ve ever had here. So yeah, I’m curious.”

I really wouldn’t blame him if my inquiry offended him, but he just laughed again and patted my shoulder gently.

“It’s a song I wrote just recently with my brother. And yes, it’s kinda about chasing ghosts, although it was never my intention to chase them away...”

“You write songs?”

“Only when there’s nothing better to do,” he tried to laugh, but it was more like a sigh. “But enough about ghosts. Now I’m more interested in the things that are real. I’m Josh, by the way.” He offered me his hand and I took it. He didn’t shake it, just held my fingers gently, with his thumb slowly caressing my knuckles. I was so completely taken aback that I didn’t realize I was being rude again until his raised eyebrows put me back to reality.

“Umm, my name is Agnieszka, but everyone except my parents calls me Olalla now.”

“Olalla…,” he rolled the nickname slowly around on his tongue, before he gestured towards the building. “…because of this?”

“Good catch! Eulalia actually is my baptismal name. You can tell my parents really love this place,“ I snickered. “Mom also liked the meaning behind it… But no, it’s in fact just a coincidence. It’s just my favourite song. I was listening to it all the time after…a bad thing happened. It helped me to let go of an actual ghost. It may sound like a cliche, but I think music can heal. And then it kind of stuck.”

I didn’t even know why I said that. I was well known for keeping my feelings and hurts locked safely out of anyone’s reach, but something about him made me feel like I could pour my heart out and everything would be ok. It was wild. We were both complete strangers, yet both already overly familiar with each other. It felt surreal.

I looked up to see his eyes boring into me. I realized that he was still holding my hand when he lifted it to his lips in a silent nice to meet you gesture. It seemed completely natural to him, but I must have looked a bit shocked, which I was, because he quickly dropped it and apologized.

It effectively killed the conversation. There was nothing to apologize for, but I couldn’t force myself to tell him the real reason why I suddenly felt so shaken. He had nothing left to tell and I didn’t know what to say, so after a short, awkward while, he cleared his throat and suggested it was probably time to go inside.

I didn’t want the moment to end. Under any other circumstances, I would just return back to my usual professional self and let go. People come and go, sometimes you click and sometimes you screw up. But other men who came in here never behaved like this. Hikers and sportsmen and family men and someone’s else’s men. Some were more polite than others, and the sweetest or the flirtiest of those single ones sometimes warmed my bed, but their intentions were always pretty clear…and so were mine. I never behaved like this either. He just made me. This Joshua was an enigma. And, even though I didn’t want to admit it, he just ignited something in me that I thought was long gone. Maybe if I did admit it to myself, I would just return back to bed and probably tried to forget anything happened. Instead, I wanted to get to know him. The best thing I could think of was to take his hand in mine again. “I’m sorry you’re chasing ghosts, Joshua.”

“Please, it’s Josh…”

“I Like Joshua better. I think it suits you more,” I whispered, smiling, and he squeezed my hand. “And I’m sorry you were haunted,” he mumbled.

We spent another surreal moment in silence, listening to the sounds of the evening, until a particularly loud group of people returning from a pub to a nearby hotel brought us from our mutual reverie.

I finally let go of his hand, opened the can and took a healthy gulp. “Fuck ghosts, and cheers to the living then!”

We spent the rest of the evening in a lively conversation about my family and our life in Willa Eulalia, he told me about his siblings and his hometown that was some sort of a Christmas village. At least that’s how he described it. I also advised him where to go and what to see after he told me that he was rather a “valley guy” and didn’t dare to venture past the tree line. At least not yet.

It was well past eleven when we finally made our way back to our respective rooms, both already chilled to the bone and I also desperately needed to pee. My private apartment was on the second landing so we stopped by my door to say goodnight. He took both my hands in his and shook them playfully. “Thank you for the lovely evening Olalla. I can’t wait to see your lovely face again in the daylight.”

“It was beautiful, by the way.”

“What was?”

“Your singing.”

He observed me for a few long seconds, thinking. Then he placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed my cheek. “Night, lovely.”

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