invertober day 9, elephant hawk moth!!

re-reading Kabu atm and im like damn... that sounds like some good soup.... so here I am to ask if you have any soup recipe recommendations!

I feel like my toxic trait might be taking this at face value, even though I know Itachi poisons himself and eats dirt in Kabu LMAO.

Here are my soup suggestions, although I am not sure what quantities or temperatures I really use since I'm more of a home cook than a person who meticulously documents these things. There's lots of other soups to make as well. This is just what I cook at home.

roast pumpkin, garlic and onions until they're soft and then get the flesh from the skins of these veggies and process them with just enough water til they're smooth and then put it on a saucepan and add cream, salt, pepper and nutmeg to taste. then you can just heat it through on the stove so everything's the right temperature to eat.

roasting a bunch of tomatoes and garlic (keep the skin on) in the oven and then adding vegetable stock and a little cream and pureeing it on the stove top. you can add chillies to this and it works well also

chop up some brown onion, cloves of garlic, carrot(s) and celery, put them in a big pot and cook them on low with some butter and pancetta or bacon, ideally not the smoked kind. Cover it with stock and a tin of tomatoes. Add some other vegetables you like at a time relative to how long they need to cook (eg., potatoes must be earlier, but zucchini later, you know) add beans—tinned beans can go in late, dried need to go in early. I think most people serve this with conchiglie pasta, the one in shell shapes. but like. sky's the limit. use macaroni or risoni, what does it matter. if you have coeliac disease use rice.

basically any combination of onion, garlic, carrots and celery cut up very finely and cooked very low in oil or butter for a while will make a good base for. soup. bolognaise. you know. I do this often and then the next step is "add stuff I like" and "cook it until it's cooked".

onion, garlic and bacon also a great soup base. you can saute this in fats like rice bran oil or butter (or use the fat rendered from the bacon) and then just add stock, tinned pureed tomatoes and a heap of chilli and cook it down until it is thick and eat it with cheese. although. this isn't like. health food.

yesterday evening I had leek, carrot, potato, garlic and parsnip soup with lots of black pepper. you have to wash leeks after you cut them up instead of before, sometimes, to get all the dirt out of the layers. you can just saute them, add everything else, add water and a stock cube and puree this too (when everything is tender, obviously). This is a very mild soup, though. If you think potato and leek soup tastes like nothing you won't like this either.

more pureed soup: try 2 carrot, 1 leek and 1 medium potato with a lot of fresh ginger and chicken stock. The carrots are sweet so it has a nice ginger-sweet taste

I like to make sliced red onion, birds eye chillies (or similar medium-hot ones, I guess—habaneros work too), rice noodles, roughly chopped coriander leaves and 2 baby pak choy (like leeks, you have to make sure these are well cleaned because dirt gets between the leafy layers) with a broth that's 1:1 stock (any stock) and water + dash of fish sauce, little bit of vinegar, some sliced ginger. you can add rice noodles and a poached egg.

if you have a tin of coconut milk you can add some of that to the soup above with some lime zest instead of vinegar. the fish sauce kind of subs in for shrimp paste you'd usually use in that kind of coconutty soup. you need to taste it to make sure the coconut/savoury/chilli/acid is working in your favour though.

cook off some diced onion, garlic, carrot and celery in oil at very low heat with some stirring to make sure it won't catch on the bottom, then add a lamb shank, some bay leaves, 2 large potatoes cut into roughly even chunks, and a tin of tomatoes, cover all with water, salt to taste, cover pot and simmer on low until the meat falls off the bone (hours). potato chunks need to be large enough to retain some integrity by the time the meat is done, so if they're smaller or you like smaller chunks add them later. make sure you fish the bony bits and the bay leaves out before you eat it though. you can do this with cheaper, tougher cuts of other red meat that need long cooking. if they don't have the bones and joints in you can add stock

this takes ages, but if you have a slow cooker and a roast chicken or bony bits of a roast you've carved the meat off you can just add veggies for flavour, like, onions, carrots, celery, bay leaves, parsley, peppercorns or whatever other herbs you personally like, cover with water, salt, and leave it covered and plugged in while you're at work or something (obviously don't do this with your oven or a burner if you're going to be out. but that's what slow cookers are good for i guess) and then when you come back you can strain everything out with a colander and have litres your own very good broth for adding to everything so you can just slice up whatever vegetables you like and make whatever fast soup going forward. It freezes well for a few months. It's good value for getting the most out of the meats you eat, if you eat them. you can get something like this out, bring it to a boil, add thinly sliced vegetables and rice noodles and have dinner on the table in like 10 minutes.

I like going to the supermarket and seeing what pre-sliced vegetables they give you in packages. I struggle managing energy. There's a package of finely cut up veggies that my local supermarket stocks. It's 400g carrot, celery, leek, turnip, parsnip, broccoli, cauliflower and parsley. If you rinse it, dump it in a pot, cover it with water, add a stock cube and then bring it to a boil before lowering it to a simmer for, like, 10–15 minutes, you can use a stick blender and add pepper and it's easy and you didn't have to think about anything. adding cream or a chopped potato will make it more filling.

laziest option that still feels like cooking: miso paste, simmering water, rice noodles, fresh chopped chilli. I'm sure it's not how you're meant to use miso paste but they sell it to me at the grocery store anyway.

“take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while” with bucky barnes? please and thanks! i love your writing btw xoxo

i know this was sent ages ago but i needed to get mi creative juices flowing so im filling this prompt now! thank you for sending this and thank u so much for enjoying my work!!

~~~~~~~~~

Bucky appears in the doorway look grumpy, lumpy, and thoroughly confused. He stuffs his hands in his oversized hoodie and glares at you from the shadows, frown deepening as you catch his eye and grin. 

“Good morning,” you sing-song. The stormcloud in the doorway grumbles like thunder. 

“It’s two-thirty,” he says, and you just shrug. 

Natasha whacks you on the side of the head which hurts like a bitch (not that you’d tell her) and says, “Stop moving.”

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks, sounding wary. He shuffles further into the room with a deeply suspicious squint, trying to see what Natasha is doing on your head. You sit cross-legged at her feet while she works - she’s already sectioned your hair so you’re sure you look a treat with the deformed buns littered over your head. Now she’s got the clippers and is carefully shaving the hair at the nape of your neck, moving up in careful strokes. 

“Shaving my head,” you tell Bucky, gesturing to your hair wildly which earns you another slap from Nat. “Duh.” 

“Why?” Bucky asks slowly, like you’re dumb, and maybe you are but honestly you’re just so bored. Quarantine sucks, your hair sucks, you’re sick of it getting in your face and in your mouth and being a general pain in your ass. Training is a nightmare with long hair, Steve always sits on it somehow during movie night, and Sam won’t stop bitching about it clogging the drain in the gym showers. This is what’s best for everyone. 

“My hair, my choice,” you say, and Nat hums in agreement. “I wanna see what my skull looks like. Don’t you ever wonder that? What if I’ve had a weird shaped head this whole time and never knew.”

“You do have a weird shaped head,” Bucky says, “Don’t need to shave it to figure that out.”

“Rude,” you huff. Under you breath, like an actual child, you mutter, “Your mum’s got a weird shaped head.”

“My mum’s dead,” Bucky says, deadpan. Nat snorts and you grab a chunk of your hair to throw at Bucky, but it just falls uselessly at his feet. 

A few beats of silence pass, save for the low buzz of Nat’s clippers. It feels really nice, like every stroke is ten pounds off your shoulders (or scalp, you suppose) and you can’t wait for Nat to be done. She moves onto the next section, kneeling in a ring of your hair on the ground, while Bucky just stands in front of you shuffling from foot to foot like an idiot.

“Take a seat,” you say, gesturing to the floor space in front of you. “We’re gonna be here a while.”

Bucky hesitates for a second. You can hear his metal hand whirring in the pocket of his hoodie like he’s wringing his hands together, but eventually he folds himself down to sit cross-legged in front of you. You smile at him, and he smiles back but it morphs into more of a laugh. His face scrunches up all cute as he looks at you and you can’t help but poke your tongue out at him. 

“You look funny,” he says, gesturing to the weird buns Nat’s put your hair in to hold it out of her way. 

“That’s rich,” you say, gesturing to his face. He rolls his eyes but he’s still smiling, so you know he’s not really offended. But you’re looking at him now and he does look funny - dark circles under his eyes, red rimmed like he’s been crying or up all night or maybe both. He must’ve been wandering around the compound at two in the morning for a reason, and unless it was to shave his head as well, it probably wasn’t a good one. 

He seems happy enough now, sitting on your bedroom floor with you and Nat and the soft hum of the clippers. She’s done one side of your head now, and it feels weird to not have the familiar curtain of hair tucked behind your ear. You reach up to move it only to find nothing there, your fingers brushing against fresh, cropped stubble instead. It feels so different - soft but rough at the same time, scratchy under your fingertips but so good on your scalp. You feel your eyes grow wide as you run your fingers over your new hair again, ignoring Nat’s annoyed huff at your movements. 

“You like it?” Bucky asks, smiling at you stupid. A rush of giddy excitement shoots through your chest, spurring you to reach out and grab Bucky’s arm without thinking. 

“Feel it,” you say, tugging his arm until his hand leaves his pocket. He looks wildly uncomfortable for a moment before he relents, letting you manoeuvre his flesh hand onto the side of your head. 

“Do you want me to cut you?” Nat asks, but she doesn’t sound pissed. In fact, she sounds amused, and that’s never a good sign for you. But you can’t really focus on that when Bucky is now entranced with the feeling of your buzzed head under his fingertips. 

He stares wide-eyed as he rubs the side of your head, and you let your eyes flutter closed at the feeling. It’s nice, alright? Bucky’s touch tingles all over your scalp and down your spine, little lightning bolts to follow his moody thunder from before. All trace of his bad mood is gone as he scratches at your buzz, now, making you shiver. 

That seems to be the final straw for Natasha, who finishes off the last chunk and clicks the clippers off. The silence startles Bucky and he lets his hand drop, looking up almost guiltily at Nat as she says, “I’m done, I’m going to bed. Have fun, idiots.”

“Thanks Tash,” you say, but you don’t even look at her as she leaves the room. You’re too busy looking at Bucky. 

“How’s it look?” you ask, all quiet in your now silent bedroom. Bucky snaps his gaze back from the empty space Nat once took up to you, eyes widening as he takes in the full picture of your middle-of-the-night-breakdown decision. 

He swallows, but his voice still sounds hoarse when he says, “Um, good. Looks neat.”

“Neat, huh?” you say, and run your hand over your head. That’s different, for sure. Gone is the length and weight around your shoulders, and when you shake your head like a wet dog you’ve never felt so unencumbered. Bucky laughs at your antics and you grin back, almost breathless, so enamoured with the cool waft of the aircon on your nearly exposed scalp and the absolute lack of anything to get in your way. You say, “Yeah, pretty fucking neat.”

“I liked your long hair,” Bucky says, and you almost frown until he adds, “But I like this, too. Maybe more. It feels nice.”

“Like a tennis ball,” you say, nodding solemnly. 

“You’re so fucking stupid,” Bucky says with an eyeroll, but you just grin. You rise onto your knees, crawling into Bucky’s lap before he can say anything and rubbing your head in his face like a deranged cat. He squawks and tries to lean away from you without also toppling over onto his back, and you just laugh. He grips your waist to stabilise you both and you settle a bit, letting your legs loop around his hips and your hands to rest on his shoulders.

“You think it feels nice,” you say, teasing lightly. Bucky makes to shove you off but you clench your thighs and hold on tight, all two-hundred pounds of Bucky no match for your stubborn idiot-streak. “You like it.”

“Said that, didn’t I? Turn your ears on,” Bucky says, but he’s blushing so you know you’ve won. 

“You like me,” you say, and you grin, because you finally push Bucky over the line you always love to toe. Teasing Bucky is a sport and you’re the Olympic champion, the Usain Bolt - you win every time. Bucky growls and snaps a hand up to grip the back of your skull. You’re delighted to find his giant hand spans the entirety of the back of your scalp as he holds you in place. He scritches into the short hairs and you’re even more delighted at the feeling that zings down your spine to your cunt almost instantaneously. 

“And you like that,” Bucky grins, all sharp teeth and dark eyes because he’s a devil and teasing you just so happens to be his Olympic gold as well. You make a sound almost like a groan, kind of like a purr, and nudge your head back into his hand some more so he keeps touching you like that. 

“Don’t like you, though,” you say, breathless now so it doesn’t quite have the same impact. Bucky rocks you backwards, lying you flat so he can crawl on top of you despite the absolute carnage of your old hair littering the carpet and now, probably, all of your clothes. Good thing you won’t be needing those much longer.

“We’ll see about that,” Bucky says, and see about that you most definitely do. 

Hold Me Close (Park Seonghwa)

Theme; Angst & Fluff Member: Seonghwa x female reader Resquested; No Summary: You thought your love story was coming to an end but in reality Seonghwa had a surprise for you. 

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              Looking back at the memories, you would have never thought it would end in a blink of an eye. You remember when you first met, you first kiss, the first I love you’s, and the first time you gave yourself to him. You couldn’t believe that a 2-year relationship was coming to an end and you felt like there was nothing you could do to stop it from happening.

               Today was a beautiful day, the past days it has been nothing but rainy and clouding days. Today the sun was out and about, mother nature let out a nice cold breeze, dressing up in your favorite outside you packed your favorite book, headphones and a small basket of food and made your way to the park across the street from your house.

               You set the blanket down putting the basket on top, taking your book you sat on the blanket and began to read. You were so into your book you didn’t notice the dog running your way or his owner calling out for him. Next thing you knew you had a big dog sitting down next to you waiting for a treat, when you looked up you laugh at the adorable animal.

               “Well who might you be?” You said petting his head. “Where is your owner” you started looking around when you notice a tall handsome guy with black hair running up to you.

               “Buddy, I told you to stay why don’t you listen” He panted trying to catch his breath as he stopped in front of you both. The dog looked back and whimpered before paying attention to you, wiggling his tail in excitement.

               “Im guessing he ran away from you? You must of done something to scare him off like that?” You giggled playing with the dog.

               “I mean I wouldn’t say I scared him off but when he sees a beautiful girl, he can’t help it” He smiled, and you thought it was the most beautiful smile you have ever seen. This guy was drop dead gorgeous, making you blushed at his comment.

               “I don’t think it was the beautiful girl that made him come to me but the basket of treats that she has” you giggled tearing your eyes away from him feeling flustered from starring at him for too long.

               “I’ll beg a differ. Are you here with anybody?” he said looking around to make sure no angry looking guy was stalking your way to beat him up.

               “Nope, just me. Today seemed like a nice day to go out and enjoy the fresh air. Are you umm with anybody?” You smiled looking up at him still petty his dog, who had seemed to grow fond of you and laid his head down on your lap enjoying your fingers on his hair.

               “No, I also came to enjoy the day. Decided to take Buddy out on a walk but as you can tell he ran away and now is enjoy your company more than mind.” He pouted cutely before chuckling.

               “Well you are more than welcome to join me, that is if you don’t mind. I brought enough food for two people” you smiled glancing at the spot next to you.

               You saw him smile before sitting down next to you. “Seonghwa,” He said extending his hand out for you. “Hi Seonghwa, I’m (Y/N)” you smiled taking his hand and giving it a friendly shake.

               Do you remember ever reading or watching how when you touch someone, you felt the electricity run up your arm? You weren’t one to believe in love at first sight but with Seonghwa it felt different, a good different. You blushed pulling your hand away after a while before opening the basket taking out the food. This made Buddy sit up in excitement but was sad when Seonghwa told him he couldn’t have any food. And that is how your first picture with him happened, Buddy sitting between you and Seonghwa while he took a picture of you three.

               Putting the picture back in the box, picking up another picture you noticed it was a from your first date.

               You remember how nervous you felt when you were getting ready, your best friend helped you picked out the perfect outfit, did you hair and make-up. When Seonghwa picked you up he was speechless, you looked so beautiful that there were no words that could describe how beautiful you looked. Give you a bouquet of your favorite flowers he grabbed you hand walking you towards his car before opening the door for you. Seongwha was a complete gentleman that day, it was so easy to hold a conversation with him. You had a nice dinner and a small walk under the city lights, the date couldn’t have been more than perfect. It ended with a goodnight kiss and a second date for the following day.

               You giggled at the memory, remember how the next date was at the arcade and you kicked his in a few games, but you did get a cute little stuff bunny to remember how perfect the day was. Looking through the box of memories it only brought you pain because you knew that Seonghwa was planning to break up with you or at least he was giving you the signs that your relationship was coming to end.

               The past 2 weeks he has been coming home late, ignoring your texts and calls when he answers it is a short reply with, “I got to go” and him hanging up on you. Whenever you ask him about going out on small dates, he always says he is busy and leave to go hang out with the boys.

               You hear the front door open and you quickly wipe your tears and hide the box under your bed. You quickly made your way to fix your make up, tonight he asked you out to go out with him and you said yes in a heartbeat. You decided to wear Seonghwa favorite dress on you, you figure at least after you had something to remind you off him.

               “(Y/N)? Baby, where are you? Are you ready to go?” He said walking into the room taking in your appearance. “Wow baby you look beautiful as always” He said wrapping his hand around your waist pulling you closer to him. You smiled and lean into him letting out a sigh when you felt him kiss the top of you head.

               “Come on we don’t want to be late” He whispered pulling away taking your hand and walking towards the door and out the front door towards your date.

               “Where are we going?” You asked looking up at him, even with heels you had to look up at him but he always found your shortness cute.

               “That is a surprise that I cannot tell you yet” He said opening the car door for you inside you noticed the bouquet of your favorite flowers, he picked them up and handed them you. “Flowers for the most beautiful girl in my world” You couldn’t help but blushed at him taking the flowers from him and getting in the car. Closing the door behind you he took out his phone and sent a text message before getting in the car.

               “I need you to put this on you” He said taking out a blindfold. “Why?” You said confused before letting out a laugh.

               “I told you it’s a surprise and I don’t want it to get ruined” He laughed as you turn to face the window allowing him to put the blindfold on you carefully not to ruin your hair or make-up.

               “You’re not going to kill me and dump me somewhere” you joked fidgeting with the hem of your dress. He took you hand in his as he started to drive and bring your hand to his lips giving it a small kiss making you smile. After a while you felt the car come to a stop and Seonghwa getting out the car making his way towards you, hearing you door open you felt him grab you hand helping out of the car.

               “Watch your step” You heard him say, you felt the butterflies getting bigger in your stomach. You stopped walking and felt Seonghwa behind you taking the blindfold slowly, once it was off you looked around noticing the heart shape candlelight are you. You looked confused but noticed the boys with big smile on their faces sitting down a few feet away from you and Seonghwa. Looking up at him you noticed the shaky breath he let out.

               “2 years ago, I met the most beautiful girl right at this spot thanks to Buddy. Ever since I met that girl I knew she was the one, she made me feel like love at first sight existed and made me realized that everything I everything I ever wanted was right in front of my eyes. I fell in love with the girl that loves me for me and not for Seonghwa from Ateez. I can be myself around her, she makes me smile, makes my heart skip a beat every time she is near me. My love for you gets stronger and stronger every day and I can’t seem to stop myself, but I don’t want too.” At this point you were in tears but seeing him getting in one knee in front of you made your tears start coming out faster. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), I don’t want to spend the rest of my live with anybody else but you, would you make me the happiest man alive and become my partner in life, my peanut butter to my jelly, my wife?”

               You gasped hearing the words coming out of his mouth, but you nodded quickly as you couldn’t find the words at the moment. You heard the boys cheer before Seonghwa slipped a ring on your ring finger, not caring about what I looked like you pulled him into a kiss, he picked you up and kissed you back. “I love you so much Seonghwa, you don’t even know” you whispered when you pulled away from him still in his arms.

               “I honestly thought you were going to break up with me” you giggled making him look at you confused. “Why did you think that? Oh, wait don’t answer that” he said remembering the past last two weeks. “I’m sorry but I was so nervous, and you know I can’t keep a secret even if my life depend on it. But I’m sorry for making you feel like I was going to break up with you.” He said kissing your forehead.

               “Forever?”

               “And Always” He said with a smiled before the boys came and pulled you guys apart to congratulate you both.

love in a bottle | sauna

WHO: Sawyer Hudson and Fauna Hudson - @sawyer-hudson

WHEN: 14th of February 

WHERE: Hudson Apartment and the Beach

WHAT: Sawyer and Fauna do a cute valentines gift exchange

WARNINGS: too much cute

Though not their first Valentine’s Day together, Sawyer wanted their first one as as claimed couple to be as special as he could. Admittedly, he got this idea from TikTok, and fully knowing Fauna would have seen it, made sure to have a back-up surprise for her. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” He greeted her when she came back from her workout with Alexis, a peck on her lips. “Fancy walking Bingley on the beach? Show off our amazing loving family?”

Fauna had never liked Valentine’s Day before Sawyer, usually she’d just bought a Tesco’s box of chocolate coated strawberries, watched Pride and Prejudice and called it a night. But now she couldn’t help but love the cheesy movies, the heart shaped balloons and the over large stuffed animals. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” She responded happily, unable to stop herself from stealing a second peck. “I’d love to handsome, let me just change my hoodie. You mind getting our precious son ready to go?”

He laughed against her lips. "I'm sorry, who's hoodie?" He asked teasingly, pinching the familiar material momentarily, before letting go. "Of course, take your time." Sawyer said, stroking her hair and pressing a kiss against it, leaving the room to come face to face with Bingley, sitting up excitedly as if he already knew something good was happening today. "Hey buddy, c'mon, shall we go to the beach?" Sawyer asked in his 'dog-dad' voice, grinning when Bingley barked back as if to say yes. Once they were ready and waiting for Fauna, he scooped up the large dog as if he were a small puppy. "You think I can sneak you into the Valentine's Day party tonight?" He asked him, who whined in response. "Maybe dress you like a little cupid? You'll be stealing hearts if I do that."

“Oh yes.. Our hoodie.” Fauna responded with a wink. “I’m always telling you Sir, you’re more than welcome to borrow my clothes.” The little brunette teased before slipping back into their room. She ended up stripping off all of her clothes when she got through, deciding she looked like a sweaty mess. Trading them in for a fresh sports bra, his HUDSON hoodie from high school and some leggings. She leaned against the door watching him momentarily with their dog. “God you two are cute? You sure you don’t want to just spend valentines together?” She teased lightly.

“If you wanted me in a little crop top and skirt you should have dressed me that way for Switch Week,” Sawyer had teased in response. He let out a low whistle at the image of her in his high school hoodie, an affectionate grin on his face at how much she drowned in it. “I mean as amazing as a date Bingley would be,” He said, “I also think he’d get too overexcited at the chocolates being passed around campus today and we don’t want an emergency trip to the vet do we buddy?” He asked the dog who just barked in response, wiggling to indicate he wished to be released. Sawyer set him down and he raced towards Fauna, almost toppling her over with the sheer strength he had. “Hey buddy calm down we don’t walk you knocking your mom over,” He warned lightly, before reaching over to Fauna, planting a kiss on her cheek as he steadied her from being knocked off her feet by their dog.

Fauna giggled when he whistled at her as he spotted her. “If you like this you should see what I’ve got planned for later.” She told him thinking of the heart covered lingerie set and cute valentines dress she had tucked away. His affectionate worrying about Bingley made her smile even softer. “No your Mom would like to avoid taking you to the vet for anything but check ups.” She agreed, bracing herself a little as the dog raced over to her, running her fingers over his silky ears. Grateful when he steadied her. “Bingley is the only soul alive I wouldn’t be jealous of if you took them as a date.” She told him as they headed for the beach. “Otherwise it would be a trip to mermaid lagoon im afraid.”

"I can't wait to to see it," Sawyer promised her, "Honestly I'm...intrigued by this party. What can be done with a unlimited amount of money the hostess has." He didn't know Sugar all that well, but from her brief stint dating Finn, and her interactions in general, she tended to just throw money around without a care in the world, Even with his own new-found wealth, Sawyer and Fauna knew how to budget, and did their ball with a spending limit, so he was interested in what a party with no budget would look like. He let out a sigh when the hard concrete of the path turned into the soft sand these beaches were famous for, and he took a moment to appreciate how lucky he got, how amazing his life was. He laughed at Fauna's threat, pulling her in closely. "You know I wouldn't be able to stand by as you took various prospects under, so maybe be a bit more sneaky." He said with a wink.

Fauna nodded. “I’m beyond hype to go to this Sugar Motta party, girl bought a lemon farm on a whim.. I’m sorta imagining giant heart cookies like the one from bridesmaids.” She explained, squeezing his hand just a little as they reached the beach in their secret message to one another. Giggling just a little as he pulled her into his side. “Oh Sir.. you don’t think I’d be silly enough to tell you where I was going.” The little submissive smiled. “I’d take the Wendy Bird or Lad somewhere nice and quiet to drown them. Then I’d come home and tell you how handsome you were and just how much I loved you.” She declared. “Honestly though, I’m so lucky to have you and not have to share you.”

Sawyer laughed. “I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it was more of an Alice in Wonderland, Queen of Hearts situation.” He said, imagining everywhere having a love heart caricature placed on it somehow, including warped furniture shaped like it. “It’ll be nice though, and it’s good that Rory and Finn have a gig too.” He mentioned. As much as he enjoyed teasing her about her willingness to do whatever it took to keep Sawyer to herself, the Dominant knew he’d do the same for Fauna. The idea of anyone else having her saddened him, and he felt comfort that they were on similar wavelengths. “I’m so lucky not to have to share you either, we’re Fauna-and-Sawyer, there’s no want, need or space for a third party.” He squeezed her hand back. “Wanna bet who’s faster catching a frisbee, you or Bingley?” He then asked, grabbing the plastic disc out of the backpack he carefully put together late last night.

Fauna made a little hum of interest. “I mean I would like to see that, especially if they had a variety of jam filled cakes and treats. I love strawberry jam.” She said hopefully, as she pictured playing cards dangling from the ceiling and Sugar in a large gold crown. “It is good, it always makes me happy when someone gives them a gig. DFS is one of Rorys big passions and.. well... I always like to see him up and doing something he enjoys.” The little brunette replied, he probably didn’t realise just how much she enjoyed his little confirmation that he only ever wanted her. That she was more than enough. “Nope, just you and me forever oh love of mine. Besides there’s no room in the bed now that Bingley keeps trying to sleep in between us. I woke up to get a glass of water the other night and he had his paws on my shoulders.” She giggled, and then glanced at the frisbee forever competitive even with the dog. “I mean he has stronger legs.. so he has an unfair advantage.”

"Are you hinting at wanting some strawberry jam?" Sawyer asked with a large smile, "Because I'm sure there's like...an ocean-side café somewhere that does the whole British afternoon tea thing with strawberry jam and scones," He pointed out, gesturing a bit further up the beach,"and I think there could be an outdoor table if we schmooze enough on this fine day of St. Valentine." "The band's really good, and if they're wanting to take it to the next level, it's perfect exposure for them." The Dominant agreed, pouting at the dog as Fauna describe their sleeping arrangements, "He's very affectionate, but he's the laziest pup known to man, his whining when I take him out on a morning is reminiscent of having to get you up for your workouts with Alexis." He alaughed, "I think you stand a fair chance against him," Sawyer disagreed, "Even if you don't, he likes to be chased." And with that he flung the frisbee down the beach. "Fetch!" He called out with a laugh.

“I mean I wasn’t.. it was more of just a stream of consciousness.. but now that you mention it that sounds so cute Sir!” The submissive responded excitedly, skipping just a little at the thought of getting to sit in a little ocean side cafe with him having a cream tea. “I’m sure that with the power of our love and a small green tip we can make it happen. I’ll show you the proper order for putting the jam and cream on your scone.” Fauna responded excitedly, thinking that she would also insist on cutting his scones into heart shapes. “He’s just a baby, he can’t help being tired!! He needs his sleep.” The brunette defended, reaching down with a little hand to pet over their dogs head again. “Hmm. Well yes he does like to be chased.” She agreed, and then took off down the beach after the frisbee. Bingley chased enthusiastically out in front, and got there long before her.

Sawyer laughed, "I'd hope so, I wouldn't want to embarass you for eating one incorrectly," He teased. "Maybe there'll even do a puppucino for that one," He mused, "He needs to get up like everybody else." Sawyer's heart burst everytime he saw the affection for the dog in Fauna's eyes, hearing it in her voice, and he was so grateful to have her in his life. That fate brought them together, and gave them this life. Sure it wasn't perfect, it wasn't idyllic, because they were human and had to face challenges and issues. But they got thse moments, that both worked extremely hard for, and for that he would do anything to get another one, and another day with her. When she was distracted chasing Bingley, he got the other item out of his backpack, an aged bottle that was inspired by a TikTok he saw. He had placed a note in it, including writing out one of his favourite poems, aged it with a teabag, furling it over with a bracelet that had their birthstones on it, intertwined together. He also included a loveheart charm to represent the day, to be added to her collar, and a small pick 'n' mix bag of sweets Rory helped him pick out. He ran up to place it on the shore, packing wet sand around it, before running back to his usual spot, just as Bingley came racing back, bounding up to him, almost knocking him out with the frisbee he managed to collect.

Fauna leaned up on her toes and kissed the underside of his chin affectionately. "You could never embarrass me Sir, I knew what I was getting into when I chose an American as my forever." She'd stopped herself from saying boyfriend, because it always seemed a little too insignificant for what she felt for Sawyer. He was so much beyond just a boyfriend or even her Dominant, he'd showed her what it meant to be happy, how to be more healthy and helped her to find her voice and beyond loving him she was just so grateful to him for all of that. Bingley of course had gotten to the frisbee long before her, but he gave her an affectionate nudge on his way back to Sawyer as if to say. 'Come on Mom'. She chased him back, breathless by the time she returned to the tall boy. "He beat me.. obviously." The little submissive pouted. "But it wasn't a competition." She specified to herself, leaning against Sawyer. "Honestly it's good I do Alexis' hell work outs so I can keep up with our bouncy son."

Sawyer smiled fondly at Fauna’s little reminder, mostly to herself, that the chase with the dog was not a competition, and he leaned down to kiss her on the top of her head. “Well second place is still good,” He assured her, “it is just our luck we’d have the world’s most hyperactive dog but I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He thought back to how shy and timid Bingley was the day they brought him home from the shelter and how he blossomed from a nervous animal to their boisterous boy they had grown to love. He took Fauna’s hand, glancing at where the bottle was placed, wondering the best way for her to notice it without being too obvious.

Fauna decided not to disagree with Sawyer on the subject of second place still being good, mostly because she believed that her Dominants attitude was better than her own when it came to competitions. "I mean we're both energetic people, so it's good he ended up with us. It'd be sad if he was with people who didn't take him for long runs and wrestle him in the living room. But I'll be honest I canne believe you were worried he might not want to run with you." The girl giggled, petting over their dogs ears. Leaning against Sawyer as he took her hand.

"I believe in fate and destiny," Sawyer mentioned with a shrug, "I just know we were meant to end up with him." He laughed at her comment about his worries regarding him running, reaching down to give their dog a ruffle on the back of his neck, tossing the frisbee again for him to chase after, making sure to pull Fauna closer so she knew not to chase after it this time. "Hindsight is a wonderful thing," He told her, glancing over to the bottle where it had caught the sun, shimmering like a rare jewel. If she didn't notice it soon enough, he would have no choice but to pick it up himself for her, and tell her, gently, she might need her glasses prescription strengthened.

Fauna nodded. “I didn’t used to, but the longer I’ve been with you.. the longer I do.” She told him honestly, it wasn’t an entirely new sentiment. She’d described in detail to him her tween optimism that had melted into teenage nihilism after Charlotte, which somehow had come full circle back to total and utter belief since she’d found him. “It is-“ She started before she followed his eyeline and saw something glinting. “Is that for me?” She asked excitedly, before she pulled him over. Kneeling in the sand to pull the things out. Carefully brushing the sand off, and making a gentle. “Oh.” Of excitement when she saw the bracelet and note inside. “Sir this is so lovely.” She said affectionately, as she went to uncork it. Gently running her fingers over the outside.

Even though he had heard it a thousand times in a thousand different ways, Sawyer would always feel a bit of his heart break when Fauna alluded to her past. The suffering, the torture, how people didn't even treat her with basic decency and dignity. But today wasn't about recalling the bad times, it was about celebrating the good times, and the love they had shared within these past couple of years. Whatever she was about to say was lost on both of them when she noticed the gift, and he couldn't help but laugh as she dragged him over with excitement, watching her reactions carefully. "I can't take credit for the idea, but I think you like the sentiment of us living out a Tik Tok more than anything," He teased. "And don't worry, I have another bottle chilling in the fridge for you back home full of something you do like, if you're not satisfied with this one."

Fauna waved her hand when he said that he couldn't take credit for the idea, eagerly getting on her knees in the wet sand to pull out of the note and read through the poem with a little smile on her face. Rolling the bracelet onto her wrist, she held it up to let it sparkle in the light. "You made it so much better though and I do love the idea of us living out a Tik Tok. I'll totally be posting about this later" She encouraged, carefully running her finger over the bracelet now on her wrist. "These are our birthstones right?" The brunette quizzed, and then squeaked when she saw the charm for her collar. "Thank you so much Sir! You've got me so many things. I love them." Standing up, she stood on her tip toes so he knew she wanted to kiss him. "Almost as much as I love you."

Sawyer often had moments where he wished he could capture it all in a photograph, or some sort of living memory similar to the pensieve in the Harry Potter series. This was definitely one of them, watching Fauna's eyes light up in wonder as she navigated through the contents of the bottle. "I'll look forward to all the thirst traps on my Book Tok account," He teased. Sawyer had relented a while ago, and agreed to have Fauna make him a TikTok, originally just for him to post recommendations and literary memes, but had somewhat snowballed to a lot of unhinged comments, especially once they had made the connection he and Fauna were a couple. "Yes," He confirmed, "I think the colours really compliment each other well. It's as if the universe is telling us something," Sawyer winked, leaning down to kiss her at her signal. "I love you too."

Fauna carefully put the poem and the charm back into the bottle not wanting to lose them in the sand, slipping the candy into her pocket for later. "I mean you are the king of the literary thirst trap.. You should see the comments under the Darcy hand clench." She teased back happily, before kissing him long and hard. Using her new advantage to wrap her legs around his waist, and arms around his neck so that she was clinging to him like a little koala. "I'm somewhat sure that our names are written in the stars somewhere." She told him honestly, running her hand over his face. "I didn't think to bring your present to the beach, but it is wrapped up very nicely for you at home."

Sawyer could feel himself blush at the mention of the scene, thinking back to how amazed at how much his phone could blow up at just random people on TikTok thirsting over him. But he didn't care about any of that, when he had Fauna here with him. The only person he'd ever need, really, wrapped around him like he was, as certain people would say, a giant tree creature. "You know the whole 'written in the stars' phrase is a misquote," He said, before he could stop himself, "From Julius Caesar, the play, I don't know if he actually said the quote. But I agree, we were truly destined for each other. I can't wait to get us home then," He said with a chuckle, "You do have the better wrapping."

Fauna kissed both of his cheeks all along his jaw and chin for good measure and then looked at him with interest. “Oh?” She responded. “What’s the real quote then? My tutor would be super ashamed of me if I was misquoting.” The little brunette teased, whistling for Bingley who had been rolling around in the sand. “It’s the surgeon hands, they make me very precise and steady with most things.” She explained, lifting one hand from around his neck to show him. “Though I didn’t actually really wrap these gifts, I found these really cool 1960’s Valentine’s chocolate boxes online and used them instead.”

It was as if it was an automatic response, Sawyer's eyes fluttering shut in serenity whenever Fauna's lips made contact with his face. An action so soft, proving how safe he felt with her, how much he trusted her completely. "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings," He quoted, "As said by Cassius in Julius Caesar. Is it fate that drives us to do things, or a weakness within us as humans to act against our will? The phrase has been quoted and misquoted so many times, analysed to the point of exhaustion, it somehow led to 'written in the stars', which I prefer anyhow." He laughed at her explanation, watching her hands carefully, as if they'd do some sort of trick to prove they were surgeon hands. "That does sound cool, let's hope there wasn't any chocolate inside when you received them. 50 year old chocolate does not sound like the most delicious Valentine's treat."

Fauna listened to him quoting with rapt attention, Sawyer always claimed he was a terrible actor but the little brunette didn't really think that could be true. Not with the way that he read things, with such rich and deep emotion. Despite her interest in literature she'd never much cared for Shakespeare until she learned that Sawyer could quote it by heart, now she took every opportunity to hear the century old words. "I like it both ways." She confessed. "I especially like the quote about human weakness.. very earth shattering." She giggled, tapping him on the nose with the end of her finger. "There wasn't no, and someone had cleaned them well because they smell all perfumey."

He squeezed her hand as she confessed her preference for both analyses, because that's what he truly loved about literature. No one opinion was set in stone, and everything could be open to interepreation. "Me too, keeps me grounded." Sawyer admitted, often using this quote his own reminder that he didn't have to be mythologically strong to be perfect. That it was human to make mistakes sometimes. "Ah, vintage perfume. I wonder if it'll remind me of my grandma." He wondered, "You know the one, visited at Thanksgiving? Definitely where Finn's inherited such a unique train of thought." He teased.

Fauna smiled softly as he squeezed her hand, always feeling a sort of warmth low in her chest when he did so. “Of course that’s what you think of to keep yourself grounded.” She smiled fondly, wondering how she got so lucky. “Ah yes! Lovely Lady definitely gave me an insight into where Finn came from. Did not understand that I was joking about the placemats looking good enough to eat.” The submissive remembered. “You want me to walk back to the apartment or am I getting a free ride?” She asked, fluttering her lashes a little for her preferred outcome.

Sawyer laughed. "In all fairness, we all know you will eat absolutely anything, no matter what," He teased, "I believe when we first met you even referred to yourself as a raccoon?" He squeezed her hand back, feeling completely enamoured with her in this moment, maybe just slightly influenced by the love in the air this Valentine's. At her hinting, Sawyer playfully rolled his eyes. "I think I can arrange a ride for you," He said with a shrug, as if he hadn't completely given in, "Piggyback, shoulder carry, or bridal carry, Kitten?"

She giggled along with him, though she also gave his arm a playful poke. “I mean it’s true I am a racoon, and I will eat basically anything.. except I’ve discovered that I fully detest that spray cheese in a can that you have in this country.. I’m half convinced that it isn’t for human or raccoon consumption.” The little brunette responded, her thumb smoothing over the back of his hand. “Bridal, I want to be able to look into those beautiful brown eyes of yours.” She told him with a slightly love sick smile.

Sawyer laughed, the spray can of cheese a fond snack for him in his youth, he and Finn bringing disgust to the rest of the clan for how much of the stuff they could put away. “Probably not,” He agreed, “but I enjoy it.” At her request, the Dominant bowed, before sweeping her up without further warning. “Anything for you, Ms. Hudson.” He said, making sure he was supporting her correctly, before leaning down for a kiss. “I love you so much. Thank you for an excellent Valentine’s Day so far.”

Fauna wrinkled her nose in disgust. "You know it's true love when you still desire him even after he declares his love for spray cheese.." She admitted and then giggled as he swept her off her feet, Bingley barking excitedly as he did so. Accepting the kiss with a little sigh of delight. She really hoped that he would like the jacket as much as she thought that he would. "I love you more than I could ever tell you, thank you for my gorgeous presents."

He playfully nudged her for her comment, smirking a little when her smart-mouth elicited a squeal instead, trying to manoeuvre carrying her safely, and keeping Bingley from excitedly jumping up on Fauna's lap to also be carried. And though it was a moment of chaos, it was absolutely perfect all the time. "Thank you for accepting them, and even though I haven't seen mine yet, I'm sure they're amazing and I love them as well." He promised her, playing with a tendril of her hair. "Onwards?"

Fauna clung a little more tightly to her boyfriend as he moved her away from their dogs eager paws, and nodded with a peaceful and fond express. "I mean if you don't love them, I'm lucky enough to have a very talented mouth that's basically a get out of jail free card for all gift giving." She joked and then just looked at him for a moment, silently thanking whatever cosmic force had allowed him into her life. "Onwards." She agreed with a grateful sigh.

Sawyer rolled his eyes at her teasing. "That's very true, and I am very appreciative for that little mouth of yours." He promised her, whistling at Bingley to follow as he carried them away from the beach. "I hope my mouth has the same talents, as I don't think I'll be able to top it next Valentine's Day." He joked.  "Yes, Ms. Hudson." He said, with a playful eye roll, content and happy with where their life was, at this current moment.

Gods and Monsters: What’s A God To A Non-Believer?

Characters: Seungcheol x Female Reader

Genre/Warning: God AU, swearing, mobs, harassment, 

Description: You were a non believer. Gods and monsters could not bother you like they did the rest of the society. You had disappointed the town in every way in your disrespect of the gods. It lead to you being thrown in the God of Deaths tomb. But you were a non believer, and the God of Death didn’t realize how much trouble the towns people were putting him through.

~

“You’ve done your people a disgrace! You’ve angered the Gods!” The priest of the town cried in your face. He was meters away from you and behind him the townspeople watched on. Many of the people were adorned with weapons and rope, and you had no doubt from the looks on their faces that they would use it.

“You are the reason this plague is swallowing our town!” He proclaimed in a shrill voice and turned to address the townspeople, “This foul creature has disregarded our Gods! She is the reason our loved ones are being slaughtered by sickness!”

Your town nodded their heads in agreement and cheered at his words. Citizens began to raise their weapons in outcry and you stumbled back a step. The priest had accused you of something impossible, you could not have angered the Gods and caused a plague. This plague had been swallowing the town long before you had made your decision on the Gods.

“A vermin is before us!” The priest continued and you desperately looked for a way out. The townspeople were now closing in on you from all sides blocking all your chances of escape. “A foul creature such as this should be punished! Sacrificed for our patrons of the skies!”

The word sacrifice sent reality into a blur. Cries of agreement sounded throughout the town and your breathing became non existent. You were trapped in a mob of people that wanted nothing more than you gone. The townspeople lunged for you in an instant, grabbing onto you as you thrashed and cried out. It was no use to fight when you were against this many people on all sides.You were dragged along the streets with a clear view of the rabid looking townspeople watching. People you had loved and known now looked upon you with malicious intent and the slight hope you had drained out in a heartbeat.

The priest shouted again, above the roar of the crowd as they dragged you on the cobblestone, “You have done this world a sin! Disregarding the gods has caused them to become angry with humanity! There is only one place where a nonbeliever like yourself can go!”

You trashed and kicked against the people holding you down as you realized where they were taking you. The people of this world were crazy and you couldn’t believe they were doing this. You had done nothing wrong. You were a good person, a helpful civilian and now they were set on you being the cause of their sorrow all because you didn’t believe in these Gods.

“The God of Eternity will welcome your sinful spirit! To death’s doors this witch will go!” The priest cried and you were hoisted to you feet. You came to stand up straight right in front of the priest, his eyes now wide and crazed. The people just wanted a solution to this problem and he had targeted you.

The townspeople cried out in happiness, thinking their problems were about to be solved. You sneered at their complete ignorance but the sneer was slowly swiped off your face. Behind you an immense cold was radiating and you knew it to be the Tomb. A place that people only entered and never left. For centuries your town had used this Temple as a burial place for respected dead and also confinement for the to be executed. In extreme cases, it was where people were thrown in with nothing and left to the hand of the mighty God that the people believed to dwell within. You knew no God laid in there from the stories, only certain death.

“Do you have any last words, witch?” The priest grinned at your now trembling form, a sick and twisted smile that sent you into a frenzy. You broke free of the grip of the men who had been dragging you and lunged at the old man. Your hands found solace around his neck and you dug your nails in. You pulled his sagging face that was now contorted into a state of pain close to your own, enough so that his forehead touched yours. You watched his crazed haze dissolve into fear and it gave you a sick satisfaction.

“You,” Your voice came out loud and booming, seething with rage as you not only addressed the priest but the town around you, “are the reason that the Gods have left.”

The priests eyes began to bulge and he gasped for breath in your grip. It was the moment the people who had dragged you here regained their senses and you felt several hands grab onto your body. Your hands were forcefully pulled away from the man's neck and you watched as he crumpled to the ground. As you were pulled backwards towards the double doors of the tomb you watch the people who were now alive with fear. Your truthful words had sparked a doubt inside them. The frigid air of the tomb washed over you as they were forcefully pulled open. As far as you knew, this would be the first time they had been opened in a hundred years.

You took in the sky above you. This could be the last time you saw the clouds and the blue that was constantly above you. You took in a deep breath of the fresh air as the world seemed to slow down. Crisp clean air that seemed to be the opposite of the damp you were about to experience. A regretful smile made its way onto your lips and you were thrust backwards into the Tomb watching as the doors closed way the sunlight.

Your back made contact with stone first. It felt like you were broken but the pain didn’t stop there. You continued to bounce down what you presumed to be steps, hitting and bruising every inch of your body. Once you finally tumbled onto flat ground you felt as though you had broken every bone you had. A weak sob made its way out of you as your eyes roamed over your new resting place. Every inch of it was dark. You couldn’t see how many stairs there were or how long the Tomb spanned, only the dark and the occasional outline of something you didn’t want to know.

You took in a deep breath of the damp, muggy air and pushed yourself onto your elbow. Your body ached in pain but you knew it would not matter. If this was to be your end what was pain anymore. You stifled a sob and pushed yourself up fully, ignoring your throbbing body. Even a you pushed yourself into a sitting position you could understand nothing more about this place. It was cold, it was dark and it made you want to claw at yourself.

“It’s just the dark,” You muttered reassuringly, taking in a deep breath. “The dark makes it seem scarier than it is.”

The dark was the worst thing. Your eyes were beginning to play tricks on you in the pitch blackness. You could see lines, and swirls, and even two purple dots. Two purple dots that seemed to move in your direction and even disappear for seconds at a time. Your heart stopped beating in your chest as the two dots seemed to grow in size as they approached you, resembling the shape of eyes.

“The dark’s just playing tricks on me,” You whispered as you watched the two presumed eyes blink in your direction. It had to be a beast. That’s why no one had ever made their way out of this place alive. They were eaten before they even had a chance too. It would explain the claw and bite marks elders of the village remembered would appear on the arms and legs of those imprisoned in the Tomb for the night.

The purple eyes seemed to squint in a playful manner and then they vanished. It was almost like they hadn’t been there at all. You started to hyperventilate, there was no possible way something like that could have been fake. You almost would prefer starvation rather than being this animals dinner.

“Well hello there darling,” A male voice purred in your ear. Without hesitation you swung out your fist while you screamed. Your hand made contact with what felt like human skin, more specifically a humans cheek and whatever you had hit fell backwards.

“That’s a nice way of responding,” The same male voice grumbled and you turned towards the direction the noise had come from. Right behind you was the pair of glowing purple eyes, trained in an amused manner right on your face.

“What the hell.” You breathed out, scrambling backwards to get away from whatever was before you.

An amused chuckle sounded out through the Tomb, echoing along the length of it. “I’ll add an o on the end of that hell for you.”

“I’ll add a what the fuck for you too while we're at it,” You retorted already feeling tired of whoever was in front of you. You had been cast out by your town and thrown down a dark death tomb, you weren’t in the mood for jokes.

“You’re very lively for someone who was sobbing moments ago,” They stated and you watched as the eyes drew closer to you, the sound of steps now hearble.

“Im less scared of a person than an animal.” You remarked trying to keep your breathing steady as the eyes stopped three feet away from you.

“Aren’t human beings animals?”

You let out an angry breath and glared at the purple eyes that seemed to be smiling, “Who are you?”

“You don’t know?” He questioned and subconsciously you shook your head no, even though you knew he most likely couldn’t see it. “I’m a God sweetheart.”

Purple flames erupted along the walls of the Tomb.  They spanned down the dark corridors till you could only make out  the faint outline of what seemed to be a purple flame. This place was much larger and filled with alot more than you could have ever thought. Your eyes shifted from the flames to the figure in front of you. It was a man dressed in all black adorned with gold jewelry from top to bottom. His face was perfectly sculpted and his purple eyes were studying you curiously. He was easily the most handsome man you had ever seen before; rather what you expected from someone who claimed they were a God.

“Bullshit you’re a God.” You managed after a few seconds of taking in your situation, startling the man in front of you. “Nice party trick, but you’re not a God.”

“You dare tell me what I am?” He growled and you rolled your eyes. You had dealt with enough God impersonators to know one when you saw one

“Yes, because you are not a God.” You repeated and began to look around your surrounding. If he had survived in here and looks as good as he does than there must be a way to thrive down here. He might have even found a way in and out.

“I am the God of Eternity fair mortal-”

“And I am Y/N Godess of you need to shut the hell up!” You retorted and tried to push yourself against the wall. Your leg gave out and you barely managed to keep yourself upright. They didn’t need to throw you down a flight of stairs, you would’ve walked in if it meant saving you from not being able to stand up.

“You’re hurt,” The man before you noticed with concern in his features and you rolled your eyes.

“Congratulations! You have regular eyesight.” You said and tried to put more pressure on your bad leg but the pain made you collapse back onto the ground. The man was before you in an instant, catching your upper body before it made contact with the stone.

He smirked down at you as he cradled your torso, “Do I need to prove my godliness to you, Y/N?”

You blushed in the dim light at the way he said you name. His voice in general was something made of perfection, something you could listen to all day and not get bored. He took your silence as an answer and you watched as he put a hand on your knee. His brows furrowed for a moment and he took a split second to look over at you with curious eyes. You disregarded his stare and watched as a soft light shone on your knee before it vanished entirely.

“You may believe me now,” He said softly and pulled you up to your feet. His hands lingered on your waist as you put full pressure on your leg. It did not wobble or collapse underneath you. That didn’t mean that there was a God before you.

“It just means the adrenaline has kicked in.” You muttered and he scoffed. You looked up and he was smiling down at you, looking rather amused. His vibrant purple eyes watched your every move and it made you feel uneasy but there was something calming about them.

“You won’t believe me no matter what I do, will you?” He said.

You nodded slightly, feeling yourself slowly getting lost in his eyes, “You haven’t been very persuasive yet.”

His mouth dropped open at your statement and you pulled away from his grasp. Where his hands had been left you feeling warm and dizzy and you couldn’t shake the feeling from your mind. You didn’t like the effect he was having on you.

He laughed and you thought it was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard, “What could make you believe in me?”

You pursed your lips and looked around the tomb, “How about getting me out of here?”

“Do you deserve to be in here?” He questioned and you gave him an incredulous look.

“Do you think I deserve to be in here?” You retorted and sighed, “I have no idea. I was thrown in here, literally.”

A sad smile danced upon his pouty lips, “I know.”

“You know?” You glared at him, feeling a sense of anger at the man.

“I could hear the riot from in here,” He began looking at you with eyes that told you he was telling the truth. “I didn’t know what was going on…. By the time I had came to the doors of the Tomb you were being thrown down the stairs.”

“You couldn’t have caught me?”

He gave a little chuckle that you didn’t find amusing, “I can’t exactly interfere. For all my life, whoever had been thrown down here was a criminal. I am the God of death and they were only thrown in here to perish in my Tomb.”

You nodded your head, feeling uneasy at what the man had said, “So will you kill me too?”

“No,” He said immediately and your eyes widened in surprise, “You have done nothing wrong. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“So does that mean you’ll let me out of here Mr. I am a God?” You wondered and cocked your head to the side.

He chuckled at your choice of words, “Seungcheol. My name is Seungcheol.”

His name matched up with the name of the God of Eternity. It was most likely a mere coincidence. Many of the townspeople named their children after the different Gods. She had meet several Seungcheol’s, several Joshua’s, and an infinite amount of Soonyoung’s.

“And mine is Y/N,” She said after a moment of pause, “So will you get me out of here Seungcheol? Maybe proving your Godliness in the process?”

“It would be my pleasure Y/N,” He smiled and it was one of the best things you had ever seen. You could tell it was heartfelt and genuine. You decided you wanted to see his smile a lot more. He reached out and took your hand gently in his, intertwining your fingers together. The movement sent chills down your spin and a slight smile emerged on your lips.

“I’ll take you somewhere nice, I promise on my Godly self.” He said and you could feel the air around you become chiller.

You chuckled and tightened your grip on his hand, staring into his purple eyes, “That sounds like a load of bullshit.”

Around you the tomb seemed to dissolve into white but you kept your focus on Seungcheol. He promised you something better. It was either you take his word or you stayed in an area of certain death. You decided that you could take a chance on this phony God.

ITinktober Day 24 Sink

Im guessing this meant bathroom sink not opposite of float sink. Anyways...........

WARNING: CHILD DEATH

Jacob blinks rapidly in the darkness as his hand flutters around on the wall, searching for the light switch. He can feel the terror, overwhelming and animal like, threading around his spine like some scurrying rodent. He’s always hated the dark. Always felt that other presence.

____________________________

It was usually at bed time that he felt it. After his mother had kissed his forehead and tucked him in. After she had said good night. Long after the boy’s imagination painted colorful images to dance along to the bedtime stories she’d read. It was a consistent and profound fear. Completely forgotten in the morning. Rarely thought of throughout the day. Occasionally mentioned in the evenings, although rarely. Soft and distant. Yet always waiting in his closet and under his bed. Always waiting for his mother to close that door. For the light to be turned off. Simpering and chittering yet silent as death. Watching the boy frantically making sure his toes are under the covers. Making sure that every part of himself is neatly tucked inside his blanket save the top of his face. Hissing and slathering in equal silence as the whites of Jacob’s frightened eyes flit around in their sockets. Looking for It.

It is always the same game. Jacob trying to find out exactly where the monster is hiding. IS THAT THE THING??? No. It is a sweater draped over the chair in front of the little desk in the corner of his room. Only a shadow in the gloom. The twisted hunchbacked shape merely the product of average darkness. Or perhaps the monster is under Jacob’s bed. Just waiting for him to fall asleep, to kick a foot out from under his covers. Waiting to chew the boy’s toes off and nibble on the bone. Jacob has nightmares of this. In these nightmares some tiny hell beast has saliva like a bedbug. Numbing as it bites. Disguising the agony that is SUPPOSED to happen at such things so that in the morning Jacob might slowly awaken to stretch in the sunlight, throw his covers back, and discover a painless bloody stump where his foot used to be.

If Jacob is lucky, he’ll fall asleep to dreams like this. If not….. Say perhaps his mother lets him have some soda, or he manages to get a hold of a piece of sugary candy, or maybe even just that he’d played too hard after supper and was still too restless to fall asleep. If he is not lucky, he lays there pondering what the beast must look like. Tonight is one of those nights. He uses the logistical power of a child to ascertain this. No why or how. Only the pure certainty and physicality of that knowledge.

He knows It must be small to be able to flit from shadow to shadow in his room without him ever seeing It at all. He imagines something rodent like. His child’s brain conjures forth an image from his mental clay.

First a corgi. As he simply knew it’d be that size. Then, his mind twists and contorts the dog to fit the convoluted expectations of his frightened mind. Stretching the dog’s body like fresh putty. Long. Longer. Too long. Curving the back upwards and bowing It’s legs so that It is forced to scamper like an overgrown, but still very fast lizard. It’s tail hangs limply, sweeping the ground like an alligator tail as It capers thru the misshapen shadows. It’s mouth stretches impossibly wide as It’s teeth lengthen and sharpen into rows of fangs that gleam wetly and silver until they resemble actual steak knives in It’s head. The lips are pushed back until both It’s eyes and ears are swallowed by these folds of skin. It’s fur darkens and begins dripping with moisture……

The boy sits upright in bed sharply. He’s forgotten something very important yet he cannot remember just what. His heart flutters as he realizes that whatever it was is something he NEEDS to remember. Something that if he doesn’t remember…… he could DIE. Jacob doesn’t know what an anxiety attack is but he’s certainly having one.

And……… he really has to pee.

And now he is here. His heart beating so fast that it feels as if it will tear it’s way up his throat. He KNOWS something is here, just WAITING to pounce upon him and turn him into a dead body. He’s seen one of those. His grandpa’s funeral. He doesn’t want to be a dead body.

His voice bubbles out in a crackled squeak of relief as his fingers finally find the light switch and flip it. Glaring light chases any rat monsters away. Jacob does his business before going to the sink.

He takes a moment to look at his reflection. He’s a pale and sallow boy, thin and haunted looking.

He then washes his hands, quiet and business like, as any good boy should. Before turning the water off he splashes the nice warm water on his face. He does this several times, enjoying the warm comforting feel. Then, keeping his eyes closed, he reaches blindly to turn the faucet off, then grabs the hand towel next to the sink to dry his face. He enjoys the soft texture of the towel as well. As he lowers the towel he sees that the sink is clogged and full of water.

He raises an eyebrow as he sees that the water is brown and clouded. And just as suddenly the smell of rotten warm shit hits his nostrils. He stifles a gag as he realizes he must have splashed this all over his face. He leans over and retches vomit into the water in the sink.

He continues to gag and retch and dry heave for some time before simply standing there with tears in his eyes. As his eyes clear he notices something among the brown and vomitus. Or 2 somethings rather. 2 somethings that turn his blood into ice and leave him very well frozen and unable to move.

2 beady red eyes stare out at him from just underneath the surface of the shit water. Even as he registers exactly what these 2 things are, small bubbles begin to pop up in between the 2 eyes making wet plinking sounds.

Finally, Jacob is able to move, stumbling away clumsily as his feet and hands are numb with terror.

He watches as the thing from his nightmares, the twisted reptilian rat creature, crawls sloppily from the water onto the edge of the sink to sit and stare at him. Only……. It’s WORSE than his most virulent and horrifying imaginings. It’s body appears to have been stretched even further, nearly snakelike, and looks as if it has been twisted and broken many times. It’s spindly legs ropey with muscle and It’s knees are bent in the wrong direction, making the thing stand like a 4 legged spider. It’s froglike feet are tipped with razor claws. It only has tufts of hair, sodden and dripping, emitting a fetid steam. As if It’s skin is rotting.

Jacob’s knees fail and he plops on the floor, directly and painfully onto his bum. His mouth is open but only hollow wheezes come from his lungs.

He watches as the one thing he remembers exactly becomes visible. The creature slowly begins to open It’s terrible maw, the steak knife teeth framing the impossibly deep recesses of It’s gullet.

Only It’s gullet is not a deep dark hole.

Jacob can see 3 tiny lights spinning and swaying as the sound of rich and frothy screaming bombards his ears.

And suddenly………. The fear is gone.

Jacob is floating.

come around (5/6)

im back guys!!  🎉🎉

dogsitting a puppy while 3 dogs are already in the house is a STRUGGLE, let me tell you

here’s the ao3 link for those who prefer that!

-----

Crowley and Aziraphale didn’t talk about what happened at Solstice.

The week following passed normally, though, with both of them basically joined at the hip. New Year’s Eve found the two otherworldly beings once again in Aziraphale’s flat. Twin flutes of champagne clinked as the newscaster on the telly counted down to midnight along with the rest of London. Fireworks exploded in the sky, the Thames far enough away that the eruption of cheers wasn’t deafening.

Aziraphale wished he was brave enough to set their glasses on the coffee table, take Crowley’s face in his hands, and steal a kiss from the demon that he had loved for millennia. He wished he was brave enough to talk about his feelings, openly and genuinely, without the fear of being rejected. He wished he knew Crowley returned his feelings, that the demon loved him just as fiercely.

He wasn’t brave, though. At least, not brave enough to do as he wished.

Instead, the angel laced his fingers with Crowley’s free hand. He smiled at the demon’s surprised look, his eyes uncovered for once. The fireworks booming outside the window lit the sky with a kaleidoscope of color, bathing the room with light and haloing around Crowley’s copper hair.

It always hit Aziraphale at the most inopportune times, just how much he loved Crowley.

The words were on the tip of his tongue, begging to come out. The angel choked them back with a shaky breath. Rather, he raised their entwined hands and kissed the demon’s knuckles softly.

“Happy New Year, Crowley.”

Crowley was frozen where he sat, his surprised look shifting into one of astonishment before mellowing out into something softer, almost like fondness but… Different. Warmer.

“Happy New Year, angel.”

-----

Winter had eventually melted into spring, helped along by the dreary rain that London was known for. Aziraphale stood at the front window of the shop, the tea on the small table next to him long gone cold, as Crowley made a nuisance of himself. A record the demon had put on played softly from the gramophone on the counter.

“I think we should get out of here,” Aziraphale spit out suddenly, spinning to stare apprehensively at Crowley. The demon looked up, the paper tower he had constructed out of the angel’s record-keeping index cards collapsing immediately.

“Okay,” he drawled, an eyebrow raising in question as he stood up from his previously hunched position over the cards. “Where would you like to go, angel? I’m sure the Ritz can squeeze us in, since a table for two just opened up.”

Aziraphale only made a sort of frantic noise through his nose. His hands fluttered uselessly by his sides, clenching and unclenching with anxiety. “No- I-”

“Hey, alright, calm down, Aziraphale,” Crowley quickly rounded the counter to stand in front of the angel. He gripped his arms firmly, golden eyes glinting in concern over dark glasses. “What’s wrong?”

The angel sighed noisily, steeling himself to force the words out. “I think,” he choked out, his voice rough. He cleared his throat before continuing. “We should leave. London, that is.”

Crowley’s brows raised to his hairline, blinking at him over his lowered glasses. “What?”

“Oh, you heard me, Crowley! Don’t make me say it again!”

“Yes, I heard you, angel, but I’m not processing it!” The demon pushed his sunglasses up to rest on his forehead, releasing the angel and completely uncovering his bewildered eyes. “You love London, your bookshop is here, why would you want to leave?”

Aziraphale fiddled with his pocket watch, intent on not meeting Crowley’s gaze. A quick glance at the demon, though, only revealed questioning amber eyes.

“Well, it’s dangerous to live here right now, Crowley,” the angel began haltingly, eyes firmly planted on Crowley’s leather shoes. They were quite nice, though he imagined the demon had just wished them into existence instead of buying them at a shop. “Heaven and Hell know exactly where we are, because we haven’t done anything different in so long. They could come at any time, be that tomorrow or ten years from now! I-I don’t want them to hurt you again.” Aziraphale finally raised his head to smile at the demon, trying not to let this flash of bravery fizzle out too quickly. “I also recall asking you to run away with me during the Winter Solstice.”

It was silent a moment, every second making the angel’s anxiety grow, before Crowley snorted.

Aziraphale’s smile dropped, nonplussed at the demon’s amusement. His shoes really were quite fascinating, a second look wouldn’t hurt. “That’s really not necessary, Crowley. A simple ‘no’ would’ve-”

“No!” Crowley wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye. “No, angel, I very much do.”

The angel blinked. The swirl of rejection and hurt that had started to form in his heart dissipated as he met the demon’s eyes. “You do? Really?”

Crowley, his lips still twitching with amusement, shook his head at the angel’s confused expression. “Of course I do, Aziraphale. I’d go anywhere with you.”

Aziraphale felt like he was both sinking and flying at the same time, his entire being floating as his heart clenched painfully.

“The fact you thought otherwise is hurtful and, frankly, unbecoming of you,” the demon continued after a moment, dramatically placed a hand over his ‘wounded’ heart, his face a picture of over-the-top sorrow. Aziraphale grinned at his antics, his relief almost palpable.

“Well- good!” The angel sniffed, trying to hold back his smile. “It would be a pity if you had disagreed, after all. You would be missing out on some superb tea making skills.”

“I rather think I would be missing out on a lot more than that, angel.”

Aziraphale felt his cheeks heat as met Crowley’s eyes, the demon’s own expression so soft that it sent the angel’s heart into double time. He bustled off to the tea service he had set out earlier, already talking a mile a minute in an effort to hide how flustered he was.

‘He’s going to be the end of me,’ thought Aziraphale as he watched Crowley jump up to sit on the front counter, index cards fluttering into a semi-neat pile as the demon tried to convince him that a castle would be perfect instead of some lowly house. The angel could only smile into his fresh tea, the pot steaming again with only a thought, and jump into the playful debate. ‘Not a bad way to go, though, is it?’

-----

It didn’t take them long to find what they were looking for. Well, not long after Aziraphale started dropping hints with newspaper clippings of houses placed where the demon was likely to find them. Hung on the front door of the shop, taped to the windshield of the Bentley, even on the demon’s pillow in his flat. It took a pile being dropped on his face while napping on the tattered couch in the back room for Crowley to get fed up and drag the angel out to look at properties.

The cottage they had decided to look at first was beautiful. The stone walls were covered in climbing ivy and a plethora of other blooming fauna surrounding the perimeter, making it resemble something out of a fairy tale. It stood on a cliff, a sheer drop only a few dozen feet from the edge of the property’s fence that opened up to the expanse of the churning ocean around them. The sea air was brisk, but rejuvenating to Aziraphalel. It was so different to London, so new.

(Well, not new, exactly. He had lived by the Roman coast during his visit in 41 AD, if only briefly. But that was neither here nor there!)

After a moment, though, the angel started to notice little things about the cottage. It had the air of being abandoned for a long while. The front garden was overgrown, wild and forest like. The stacked stone wall that surrounded the property was covered in moss and falling apart, entire sections laying defeated on the ground. The wrought iron gate was almost completely rusted over and barely hanging on by a hinge. And that wasn’t even touching on what the situation inside might have in store for them.

“This place, angel?” Crowley turned to him, his disdain evident despite the ever present sunglasses. “It’s a dump!”

“It has… Character!” Aziraphale blustered. “Really, my dear, just give it a chance!”

The demon only groaned theaterically, drawing the attention of the real estate agent standing by the worn front door. The woman smiled genially at them as the two of them approached.

“Gentlemen!” She shook their hands in turn, her grin deepening the small wrinkles by her eyes. “I’m Danielle Rochette, the realtor for this property, but you can just call me Ellie. You must be Mr. Fell and Mr. Crowley!”

Aziraphale returned her enthusiastic handshake, already liking this human. “Yes, I’m Ezra Fell and this is-”

“Anthony Crowley,” the demon cut in smoothly. His smirk disappeared for a moment as he kissed the back of the woman’s hand, causing her to let out a dreamy little “Oh!”

Crowley yelped his own “Oh!” when Aziraphale viciously pinched the back of his arm once he released the poor woman, the angel’s polite smile still in place. Crowley could only grumble and rub the attacked spot as the other two chatted idly.

They soon entered the cottage, the air a bit stale and dusty. Aziraphale had to hold in a sneeze when the door swung shut behind them. They had entered into what was probably the living room, which then led directly into the outdated kitchen at the back of the house. A hallway to the left of the front door held three doors along the same wall and was equally covered in cobwebs. The sparse furniture left behind by the previous tenant was either worn down or broken into pieces on the floor.

It was dreary and in desperate need of a good cleaning, and Aziraphale loved it.

“Listen, I know it looks bad right now,” cautioned Ellie, her nose wrinkling a bit. “But I think it would be back in tip top shape with a bit of paint, a mop, and some new furniture!”

“Oh, that would be no problem,” Aziraphale smiled, winking at Crowley with absolutely no subtlety. The demon snorted inelegantly as the realtor looked between them with a confused smile. She cleared her throat a moment later, launching into her pitch for the house. The angel nodded along, making affirming noises at the right places, but his mind was as far as it could be from the conversation.

The cottage really was what they were looking for. Aziraphale could easily picture how the place would look if they moved in; how the floorboards would gleam when they were cleaned, the fireplace cleaned out and a log crackling happily away inside, cozy blankets and throw pillows piled on the new sofa. The both of them cooking together in the remodeled kitchen, Aziraphale sneaking tastes of whatever was on the stove while Crowley halfheartedly threatened him with a wooden spoon, soft music from the gramophone enveloping them with the sense of home.

A hand on his startled Aziraphale out of his fantasy. He blinked, seeing the cottage as it actually was again. An ache started up in the region of his unneeded heart at the loss of his daydream, as sweet as it was.

Crowley had moved closer when he wasn’t paying attention, the demon’s hand slightly cooler where it was wrapped around his own. “You alright, Aziraphale?”

“Of course, darling,” the angel sighed, patting Crowley’s hand lightly before pulling away with a wistful smile. “Absolutely tickety-boo.”

The demon only raised an eyebrow at him before turning back to Ellie. The realtor had moved on to the kitchen, still going on about various facts about the property without noticing their little aside. They moved to the hallway at the front of the house soon after, disturbing the dust as they went.

The hall itself was dim, making it feel smaller than it actually was. Granted, the two windows were covered with the climbing ivy on the front of the house, allowing in barely any light.

“Now,” Ellie stopped at the last door in the hall, grinning cheekily. “We’re going to leave the best for last, so stay with me, yeah?”

When the two of them bewilderedly nodded assent, she led them into what could only be the bedroom. The same dark flooring was continued in there, making the chipping plaster walls seem brighter with the sun shining through the large windows. It was of a decent size, obviously remodeled at some point in its history.

“This is the master suit, since this a one bedroom property, but I think it’s perfectly fine for two gents such as yourselves.” Ellie stood by the door with a smile, allowing them to take their fill of the room.

Her words caught up with Aziraphale a moment later, setting his face aflame. He hadn’t even thought of the sleeping situation, since he rarely partook in the activity. He also hadn’t thought how it would look for two men to be buying a one bedroom house together.

As he tried to nervously correct her, though, Crowley only sidled up next to him and wrap an arm around his waist. It was very effective in stopping his witless stammering, at the very least.

“Well, I think it’s perfect for what we’re going for. Don’t you, angel?” The demon’s smile was positively saccharine, his voice like candied honey. The thread of teasing amusement was hard to miss, too.

“I-I mean- Well, yes, of course-”

Ellie had a hand covering her mouth in an attempt to hide her smile, though her laughter was a bit harder to conceal. She led them out of the room, Aziraphale’s face still dreadfully warm. Crowley had released him, thankfully, as they came up to the next door in the hall.

This one opened into a terribly outdated bathroom. Salmon colored tiles covered the walls, while aquamarine tiles of a different size made up the floor. It made the small room feel even more confined. Even the angel couldn’t stop himself from grimacing as he looked in horror. The only saving grace (no pun intended) was the large white clawfoot tub that dominated the space.

“There’s no windows,” commented Crowley, his eyebrows making a break for his hairline as he looked over Aziraphale’s shoulder in disgusted awe.

Ellie, on the other hand, only grinned mischievously at them. “That’s where the best is saved for last.” She ushered them back into the hall before gesturing to the door nearest the entrance to the hall. “I know you were looking for an office to store your books, Mr. Fell. I think you’ll rather fancy this room.”

The two otherworldly beings glanced at each other, equally perplexed, before the angel turned the knob. For a few moments, he could only stare in wonder.

The room opened into a short hall spanning the length of the bathroom, floor to ceiling shelves running along the right wall. It opened up to a fairly large room, about half the size of the bedroom, with the other two walls covered in the same shelves.

The back wall, however, was almost entirely comprised of glass. A set of glass double doors at the center led out into a sunroom at the back of the house, very reminiscent of a greenhouse. The view was facing the back garden, which was closed off with more of the collapsing rock wall. After that was the cliff behind the property, with the rolling ocean right beyond it all the way to the horizon. It was breathtaking.

“Oh my,” breathed the angel, utterly overcome with emotion as he looked around at all the empty shelves. The windows let in an enormous amount of light, making the room feel open and airy and perfect.

“The current owners put that in around seven years ago,” Ellie said brightly. She opened up the glass doors to allow them into the sunroom. “Trying to make it more interesting, I reckon.”

Crowley gently led him through the sunroom and out to the back garden. The salty air hit him with the force of a blow, effectively breaking the trance the office had placed on him. The sun had finally broken free from the cloud cover, warming the small group as they stood in the overgrown grass. Aziraphale, still amazed by the view, felt something brush his hand softly. Without even thinking about it, the angel wrapped his hand around Crowley’s, trying to ignore how his heartbeat kicked up a notch at the simple touch.

“I’m going to be frank with you, if I may,” Ellie started slowly, her red painted mouth turned down. The wind whipped her chestnut hair around her face, pulling it from its previously tidy bun. “The previous owner died some time ago. Her husband had passed years before her, so she was alone when she finally followed him. Their sons live in the city and want nothing to do with the property, hence why it’s in such disrepair. I’ve been the agent for this place since I started selling real estate, probably some 10 years ago now, though no one has been keen to fix this place up like it should be.”

Aziraphale hummed. A glance at Crowley emboldened him when the demon smirked and shrugged fluidly, the creaking of his leather jacket almost lost in the wind. “Well, I think we’re very keen. Cleaning this place up shouldn’t take too much time, and our godson and his friends would love to play at the beach during the summers.” The angel smiled brightly at the woman, who mirrored his grin.

“Fantastic! Let’s see to some paperwork, shall we?”

-----

[beginning] // [previous chapter] // [next chapter]

A/N: This story was inspired by Brianna showing off her shooting skills with Jamie in The Birds and the Bees.

“I used to go barefoot all the time when I was little. Daddy—Frank—took us to the mountains every summer, to the White Mountains or the Adirondacks. After a week, the bottoms of my feet were like leather; I could have walked on hot coals and not felt a thing.”

-----------

“Daddy—Frank—taught me to shoot when I was eleven or twelve. He gave me a twenty-two when I was thirteen, and by the time I was fifteen, he was taking me to shoot clay pigeons at ranges, or to hunt doves and quail on weekends in the fall.” Roger glanced at her in interest. “I thought Jamie’d taught you; I’d no idea Frank Randall was such a sportsman.” “Well,” she said slowly. “I don’t know that he was.

The Fiery Cross (Chapter 20)

Meant to Be

by @futurelounging

It was easy, in the beginning, to hold his daughter in his heart as his own. As if his blood truly mingled with hers. Her skin was smooth and pale, freckles dusting her nose. Her tiny fingers wrapped around his thumb and squeezed. He could lift her with her fingers gripping his, hanging like a monkey from a tree. Her hair, though nothing like his own or his wife’s, was only a minor irritation, and only if remarked upon. For he found the image of her was simply her. Her face as familiar to him as his own, until the lines and shape of her no longer felt distinct from her essence.

She toddled and fell, scraped her nose, bruised her knees, drooled on his shoulder while she gnawed with her gums like a puppy. She threw her small body from chairs, trusting he’d reach out and grab her at the last second. Being a child, he thought, was about doing without consideration, letting your body learn the consequences. Being an adult inverted it, the consequences ever etched in one’s vision, until doing felt impossible.

He had not expected to think about her quite so much. When he’d imagined fatherhood before Claire had gone, he’d pictured waving goodbye to his wife and child in the morning, going about the business of his day, then later, when his work was finished, conjuring them in his mind as he ventured home. But his daughter was not so easily dismissed. She invaded his thoughts throughout his days, appearing in the bit of cereal crusted on his trouser leg, in the tiny orphaned sock he found at the bottom of his briefcase. She must have pulled it off and tossed it in there last night, he’d think. And she appeared in the corners of his mind always, as he watched the students walking with oblivious confidence, imagining her grown and barreling through these halls.

As she grew older, his fantasy of her being merely his faded. It wasn’t so much that she was physically resembling the mysterious man who shared her DNA. It was in her manner, a presence, a confidence that felt entirely different from his own or Claire’s. The tilt of her head and the hum of her thoughts as she contemplated a problem. How could blood be so strong, he wondered.

This change spurred him to pull her closer, to leave his imprint in some way. His suggestion to begin spending a week in the mountains each year might have seemed deliberate in hindsight, but in truth, it was a whim in the beginning.

“The Adirondacks?” Claire looked up from the journal she had folded over on her lap. Her hair had loosened from the pins and had begun to fall across her brow as she read. She pushed it back behind her ear with a sigh of exasperation.

“I thought perhaps you’d like some time away from the city, but if you’re too pressed with work I can go alone with Bree.” Frank pushed his glasses higher on his nose and glanced at her.

“No, I… No, that sounds wonderful! It’s been so long since I’ve gone anywhere.” The strain that normally pulled on her face began to loosen and a smile tugged at her lips.

“Work won’t be an issue?” Frank asked dubiously.

Claire’s brow furrowed, her lips pursing. “How long?”

“A week.”

“Hm. Well, I don’t know if I can do a full week at the moment, but at least a few days. Perhaps I could drive separately so you and Bree can stay a bit longer.”

He’d not expected such an enthusiastic response from her. He knew she adored nature and longed for time away, but still, time with him didn’t seem a good selling point. While he was relieved that she was receptive, he felt a pang of guilt for how pleased he was to hear that she’d not be with them the entire time. He cherished his alone time with Bree and if he were to examine his feelings a bit deeper, he’d find that he worried Claire’s presence would somehow resurrect the other man, the one who seemed intent on haunting them.

“Why would this man let us stay in his cabin, Daddy?” Bree asked as the car rattled over the bumps in the narrow road snaking through thick forest. Claire’s car followed close behind and Frank glanced in the rearview to make sure she didn’t blow a tire on the rocks.

“Why?” he laughed. “Well I daresay he considers me a friend, darling. Is it so hard to believe I might have friends who want to do nice things for me?”

Bree snickered from the seat next to him. “No! It just seems like lending someone a house is a bit more than lending someone your… power saw.”

“Well then, my dear, that is my challenge for you. Become the sort of person who is offered houses rather than… hand mixers.” He smiled widely at her, tightening his grip on the steering wheel at a particularly deep pothole.

“I’d rather be offered a power saw over a hand mixer, if those are my options.” She smirked and winked at him. Or, more accurately, blinked. She had not yet mastered the art of winking just one eye and instead blinked with a slight dip of her head, something he found utterly charming.

“Here we are,” Frank said, leaning forward to see the cabin as he pulled the car to a stop at the top of the drive.

Frank and Claire unloaded the cars and gave up trying to get Bree to help as she ran through the cabin chattering about how perfect it all was, especially the screened sleeping room off the back. She bolted out the door, leaping over a steel wash basin, her voice swallowed by the forest.

The cabin was small, but modern enough that they had running water, a wood stove for heat, and a bathroom. Frank’s shoulders relaxed as he dropped a stack of shirts in the dresser drawer. The place was a bit musty, so he pushed open a few windows and ventured back toward the kitchen where he’d left Claire to organize. He found her standing at a window, looking out through the trees, her eyes seeing something else. He hadn’t seen that distant look in a long time and felt a panic rise in him. He couldn’t let her slip away now. He couldn’t pretend what they had was ideal, but if she let herself drown in her past, she’d be lost not just to him, but to Bree as well. That fear gnawed at him.

“Shall we go for a hike? Stretch our legs and get the lay of the land? Bob said there’s a creek a half mile or so away. Good for fishing.”

“Hm?” She turned to him, eyes slowly refocusing. “Yes, let me find a basket.”

The trail to the creek was well worn, but the summer had been wet and new growth began to crowd the edges, pushing tiny branches and brambles into their path. Frank made a note to bring the hatchet next time to clear some of it away. Once settled in with their fishing rods, feet propped on smooth stones along the edge of the water, Claire began wandering, crouching now and then and dropping herbs into the basket hanging from her arm. Bree lost interest in staring at the water with Frank and joined her mother.

“What are you going to do with these, Mama? Are we eating them? They don’t look very good.”

“Ha! No, I suppose they aren’t all that appetizing. I might use some in our food this week, this thyme for instance. But some I will take back with me to the hospital.”

Bree looked at her mother as if she’d spoken another language. “Why?”

“Well, some herbs have healing properties, settling stomachs, soothing pain, all sorts of things. I like to have options.” She spoke matter-of-factly, but her smile was nervous, having been on the receiving end of suspicious looks from her colleagues when introducing herbs to her treatment plans.

“Did you learn about them in medical school?” Bree asked.

“Hmm, no. No, I had read some books before I went to medical school and… Well, I spent some time using more natural… remedies.” Claire’s voice trailed off, catching her words before they shattered the walls she’d built to keep the past at bay.

“‘Learn by doing.’ My biology teacher says that all the time.” Bree added a handful of yarrow to the basket and brushed her hands on her pant legs.

“Books cannot always prepare you for the reality of things. That is very true.” Claire leaned forward and kissed the top of her daughter’s head, pulling a leaf from her curls.

The days at the cabin were long and peaceful. The fresh air and exercise knocked them all out cold before the sun fell below the horizon. Bree woke on the fourth day and found her mother setting her bag on the front porch.

“Do you really have to go?”

Claire turned back to her daughter, a sad smile on her face. “I do. I’m sorry, dear. But I’ll see you in three days. And you will have a wonderful time with your father. Although you are in charge of extracting any splinters he gets now. Think you can manage?”

“Ugh no! I hate splinters. Daddy will have to live with them. I think I’ll pass out if I have to pull any out,” she said, half-joking.

Claire kissed her daughter goodbye and slipped away before Frank woke.

After breakfast, Brianna washed the dishes and went outside to find Frank. He wasn’t out front chopping wood where she’d expected him, but rather behind the cabin, about twenty yards into the woods. He held a rifle at his side, and Brianna’s eyes went wide.

“Bree. Come here.”

“Really?” she asked, disbelief shadowing her face.

A conspiratorial smile answered her.

“You’re going to teach me how to shoot?” she asked when she reached his side.

“Well, yes. I was thinking, Bree, about what you said in the car. That you are not the kind who will be pleased to borrow a hand mixer. You get that from your mother, I think. But you are bright and meticulous and determined, which are all good qualities for a marksman. Or markswoman, as it were. And based on your glee this week, I suspect you may find yourself living in the woods someday so this skill might come in handy.”

She grinned back at him, bright and eager, and his heart swelled with pride. So much of his life as her father was lost to the mundanity of existence, the unrecognized coming and going, the tiny steps that led to big leaps with little to remark upon if only because it was merely part of life. But in this moment he felt the gentle nudge of time, that he, and she, would look back on this memory, distinct and pivotal. That when she thought of him years from now, after he was long gone, she might think of learning to shoot with him in the woods.

It was not deliberate. He did not know when he taught her to shoot that she truly would find herself living in the woods someday. But he did consider, later when he found proof of his wife’s return to the past, that perhaps there had been some subconscious truth behind it all, that he was meant to take her shooting in the woods. That he was meant to come to America. That Claire had to go through the stones and return to him. That it all was meant to be.

Alice’s restaurant

If you haven’t heard this song, go to YouTube and listen to it.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m57gzA2JCcM

This story takes place in my Steelbridge Sixties AU ‘verse, featuring Vietnam War-era Stucky.  It’s not 100% necessary to read the novella that sets the scene, but it’s here if you’re interested.

_____

Walk into the shrink wherever you are, just walk in, say,"Shrink, you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant", and walk out

You know, if one person, just one person, does it, they may think he's really sick and they won't take him

And if two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both faggots and they won't take either of them

And if three people do it! Can you imagine three people walkin' in, singin' a bar of "Alice's Restaurant" and walkin' out? They may think it's an organization!

--Arlo Guthrie, Alice’s Restaurant, 1967

_____

Bucky wakes with his head aching.  He supposes he should be used to it by now.  He doesn’t think he’s gone a whole day without pain since before the war.  The days when he was too fucked up to be aware of his body don’t count.  And he’s supposed to be getting clean anyway.

The alarm clock on the bedside table begins to ring.  Steve reaches out of the cocoon on blankets to silence it.  Then he rolls over and grins at Bucky.  “Morning,” he says sleepily.

“Morning.”  Bucky tries arranging his face in a smile, but it feels awkward.  He isn’t sure he’s achieved the desired result. He stops worrying about it when his jaw stretches into a yawn.

“Sleep ok?” Steve asks as he sits up.

Bucky shrugs.  It’s easier to sleep in Steve’s bed.  He’s gotten used to the mattress.  It no longer feels gooey under his spine, and it’s a definite improvement from an Army-issue bedroll or a hospital cot.  It helps to have another body tucked in with him, too.  A peaceful face one pillow over to remind him of where he is in time and space.

“It’s a big day, right?”  Bucky rubs the grit from his eyes.

“Yeah.”  Steve opens the dresser drawer and starts pulling on a pair of jeans.  He tosses another pair onto the bed for Bucky.  “You remembered.  Ready to wield a serving spoon?”

“I remembered…”  Bucky echoes.  Most of the time he knows what day it is, but it’s especially important today.  It’s Thanksgiving.  A happy day.  But he doesn’t feel happy.

Bucky mulls it over as he slips out of bed.  Everything at the forefront of his mind is solid, like the surface of a frozen lake, gleaming and ready to run across.  He’s safe.  He’s home.  He and Steve have plans.  But a dark shape lurks beneath the surface, reminding him that all it takes is a single crack for things to turn dangerous.

Steve helps him through the process of getting ready.  They’ve fallen into a routine; Bucky struggles with his clothes while Steve disappears to the bathroom.  He finishes up as soon as Bucky’s ready to join him, leaving the faucet running and Bucky’s toothbrush on the counter.

Bucky wants to ask him for an aspirin.  Ideally something stronger, but he knows that won’t fly.  He hasn’t touched anything beyond weed in almost a month.  Which is a good thing, Bucky reminds himself.  He sticks his toothbrush in his mouth, cringing at the bitter tang of chemicals under the artificial mint.  Too late now.  He won’t want to swallow anything for at least half an hour.

They hold hands as they walk to the shelter.  “No one’ll see,” Steve murmurs as he interlaces his fingers with Bucky’s.  It’s a holiday, and early morning to boot.  The neighborhood is completely still, and even the main roads are devoid of traffic. There may as well only be two cars in the entire town, both parked on the curb in front of the soup kitchen.

It’s warm inside, and already full of the aroma of cooking food.  “Hey, guys!”  Scott looks up from the antenna he’s wrestling into place atop the ancient TV set.  “There’s coffee in the back.  And pie.”

“Pie?” Steve shakes his head.  “A little early for that, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, well, it ain’t just for breakfast anymore.”  Scott fiddles with the knob to change the channel, and a view of New York City appears in grainy black and white.

“Nice one, man.”  Steve claps him on the shoulder, then leads Bucky through the swinging door to the kitchen.

Sam appears to be in command, stirring a huge pot of potatoes while talking T’Challa through the turkey.  “It’s pre-cooked, man.  Stop messing with the oven or you’re gonna dry it out.”  His eyes alight on Steve and Bucky, and he greets them with an enthusiastic, “Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Most wonderful time of the year,” Steve says.  He pours himself a cup of coffee, then raises the carafe and makes eyes at Bucky.

“Sure,” Bucky mumbles.  The kitchen is comforting, both at the shelter and the house.  Like the bed, it’s not a place Bucky’s been lately, so he’s at ease there.  Mostly.  His hackles are up today, nagging at him like the throb behind his forehead, reminding him again of the fragility of his situation.  He takes one sip of the coffee, then decides he’s jittery enough and leaves the mug on the counter.

Steve won’t let him touch the knives, supposedly because his one-handedness keeps him from being able to hold steady whatever he’s cutting.  Bucky knows it’s for safety, too.  He agrees that it’s probably smart.  Sam puts him in charge of the gravy, first stirring the pot bubbling on the stove, then ladling it onto trays when the clock strikes 11 and the customers start streaming in.

Steve’s a chatterbox, too excited for his own good.  He makes conversation with every person in line as he doles out potatoes and stuffing.  Some of the scruffy men reply in kind, but most just mutter “thanks” and look at the floor.

Bucky doesn’t blame them.  He has a hard time lifting his gaze from the oily sheen of the gravy pan.  Making eye contact leaves him exposed, staring down the humanity in the other guy’s soul, just as they stare down his.  It makes it harder to act.  Harder to kill.

“Pour a little extra on here for me, will ya, boy?”

“Huh?”  Bucky blinks down at the slice of apple pie and the shaky hand holding out the dessert plate.  Then at the face behind it; the grin and the eye patch.

“Ugh, really, Nick?”  Steve laughs and wrinkles his nose.  “Gravy on potatoes, gravy on turkey…but gravy on pie?”

“Hey, I don’t comment on what you get up to,” Nick says.  “Come on.  Help a brother out.”

Bucky lifts the ladle slowly.  His heart beats hard and fast, but everything around him is too still.  The extended second of levitation before free fall.

“Who cares?  It’s just gravy.”

It’s just gravy.

I don’t care.  They’re not your rations.

He ain’t gonna eat ‘em.

He ain’t your fucking problem.

Don’t speak for ‘im.  Whadaya say, Barnes?  You gonna eat?

He isn’t hungry.  He doesn’t want to open his mouth, either.  His stomach’s in knots.  Everything in this godforsaken country smells like sweat and shit, even the food.  Even the food they shipped in specially, as if the government needed a federal holiday to give the troops abroad a sharp kick in the ass and call it thankfulness.

“Buck?  You alright?”  Steve’s hand closes over Bucky’s, stilling its quavering.  There’s gravy all over the counter, and Nick’s pie is swimming in it.

“Sorry, Nick,” Steve says.  “Scotty, you wanna grab him a fresh slice?”

“No, no, it’s ok,” Nick says with a chuckle.  “Got what I asked for, didn’t I?”  He takes his food and shuffles to a table.

“Just put it down, Buck.”  Steve murmurs.  He pries the ladle out of Bucky’s grip.  “Alright?”

Bucky’s teeth are chattering.  But he’s warm.  Too warm.  His head hurts.  And his arms.  The one that’s been stirring and scooping for the past four hours, and the one that’s not there.

Steve tucks Bucky’s hair behind his ear and presses the backs of his knuckles to his cheek.  “You feel ok?”

Bucky means to say “yeah,” but instead he mumbles, “People are gonna see…”

“It’s fine,” Steve says.  “Like he said, nobody cares what we get up to.”

Nobody cares.  Rations are rations.

Bucky takes a breath and tries again.  “I…” he starts.  “Um…”

“How ‘bout you sit down and have something to eat,” Steve suggests.  He pats Bucky’s shoulder and turns to get him a plate.

It’s the last thing Bucky wants, but he isn’t in the position to argue.  All he can do is try not to watch as Steve dishes him up.

“Here, come sit.”  Steve finds him a place at a table in the corner between Darcy and Nat.  Some deep recess of Bucky’s brain acknowledges the small miracle of veterans and protesters enjoying dinner in the same room, but the thought is impossible to hold.  It’s on top of the ice, and he’s trapped beneath it.  He’s stuck here, in his body and his memories, while the rest of the world spins without him.

Bucky picks up his fork because that seems like what Steve wants.  As soon as his blonde head bobs back into the kitchen, though, Bucky stands up again.  Somebody asks what’s wrong, but he doesn’t reply.  He can’t.

He leaves through the front door and circles around the back of the building.  A dumpster takes up most of the narrow alley, but there’s a pile of plywood and a soggy-looking mattress jammed into the corner.  Bucky makes for it, tripping over his feet and going down harder than he intends.  His knees smart, but Bucky doesn’t care.  He has to focus, to spit out the words before they turn to rocks in his pockets and pull him down.

Beds didn’t exist in Vietnam.  They did before, and they do after.  Nothing else matters.  Not food, not Thanksgiving.  Just safety.  And Steve.

“You’re…here,” Bucky grunts.  “You’re safe.”  He embeds his hand in his hair and stares at the dirty pavement between his feet.  He pulls in a half-dozen breaths that taste like garbage and winter sunshine.  It’s cold out here.  It wasn’t cold in Vietnam.

“There you are.”  It’s Steve’s voice.  Steve’s shadow approaches, and his shoes edge into Bucky’s visual field.  “Not feeling so good?”

“Hm.”  Bucky sighs.  “’M here.”

“And you’re safe,” Steve finishes.  He sits on the edge of the mattress and lays the flat of his palm between Bucky’s shoulder blades.  “Do you feel like talking about it?”

“Nah.”  Bucky searches for a sentence to capture the gist of it, but the more he thinks about it, the more nebulous the feelings become.  “Just…memories.  And…hurt.”

“What hurts?”

Bucky runs down the list.  Head, stomach, arms, ribs…  The tension in his shoulders holds an exhausting sort of pain.  He usually relaxes into Steve’s touch, but this time his muscles are locked in spasms, sending a nauseating tightness into his throat.  “My arm,” he says.  “My arms.”

“You probably used some muscles you haven’t worked in a while.”  Steve squeezes Bucky’s bicep and runs his hand over the top of his back.  He gently touches the crest of Bucky’s stump shoulder.  “Over here too?”

“Hm.”  The scars are healed now.  Nothing’s wrong with his skin, save the jagged pink marks that have yet to fade.  But something’s off on the inside, phantom pins and needles that prickle like surgical implements accidentally stitched inside. They come and go, fading for weeks then suddenly popping back to remind Bucky of how far he is from truly recovering, how any little thing can ruin him.

Like gravy.

“It’s ok, Buck.  You’re here.  You’re safe…”  Steve says something else, but Bucky doesn’t hear it.  His fingers hit the underside of Bucky’s stump, and the world turns upside down.  The tension in Bucky’s body drops, then reengages in the blink of an eye.  His entire left side tingles.  His vision erupts in stars, and a dry heave bursts from his chest.

“Whoa, ok,” Steve murmurs frantically.  “Ok.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry, Buck.”  The pressure of his hands disappears, leaving Bucky unmoored and drifting.  Bucky blinks a few times, but it does nothing for the sick vertigo playing around his ears.

“Ugh.”  Bucky wishes he could say something more definitive, something to insinuate he’s ok.  Which he isn’t, but he’s going to be, as soon as he gets his bearings again.

Steve’s breath is quick and concerned beside him.  He’s going to work himself into a tizzy if he isn’t careful.  Bucky lifts his trembling hand and drops it on Steve’s knee to reassure him, to make him feel a little better.  He thinks he feels a little better too.

Hot Mornings and Cold Nights

Genre: romance and angst

Warning: a bit of make out and sex

----

You open the curtain, letting the sun sip through. You wrap the robe tighter around your waist, it was 7 in the morning yet the room felt cold.

You turn your head and stare at the sleeping figure on the bed. You walk towards Like hot mornings and cold nights fluffy caramel hair then slowly down to every part of his face, admiring it.

You still remember the first time you saw him. Your breath hitched as soon as he walked in the room. At first you noticed how his face was perfect, he had bushy brows that matched his almond shaped eyes, his nose bridge was long and his lips had the perfect cupid bow. He had the face of a responsible and reliable boy who you'd bring home and your parents would love.

He was your bestfriend Lucas' roommate and brought him along as the plus one for the party. Lucas leads him to you and introduces him as Kun. Even his name matched his face.

He stuck out a hand and you shook it. He then gives a big smile and a deep dimple pops out. You cursed inside your head, you were a sucker for guys with dimples.

And as the night deepened you saw how Kun was, all nice and friendly. The exact guy you expected him to be.

Then beer came to the picture. He had low alcohol tolerance, yet he kept drinking, not able to refuse whatever Lucas gave him. 4 glasses and he was a mess. A cute mess. While you on the other hand, you had high tolerance but you only got yourself to 3 glasses making sure to be the sober one in the group.

The party was still on going but looking at the two boys all drunk, you decided it was time to head home. Despite their dorms being on the other side of where you lived, you still chose to bring them home.

Arriving to their dorms, you flopped Lucas on his bed and did the same with Kun. You were about to leave when a hand held your wrist. You looked back and see Kun sitting up holding your wrist.

"Ill bring you home." He slurred.

You raised an eyebrow at him. "Youre drunk."

"Nothing fresh air can fix." He replied. He lifted himself up, slightly wobbling. You reached for his hand, giving him support. He thanked you with smile. Before heading out, you fixed Lucas up and tucked him under his blanket.

You both chose to walk instead of taking the bus thinking it was better to have some fresh air. You stopped by a park and sat there for a few minutes just taking in the view of colorful bright lights hanging on th trees and the small bridges. Kun leaned his head on your head and let out a deep sigh.

After the park, you had bits of stop overs from the tiny ice cream shop to the cafe for coffee take out. Kun was drunk but he could still keep a conversation. Both you talked about the most random things from which building you thinks the tallest to favorite superheroes to how Lucas is crazy. The topics kept rolling that you didnt realize you were by your gate already. Your heart ached, you still wanted to keep talking to him. You couldnt even do the 'invite for coffee or food inside' since you already had that a while ago.

You were about to open you mouth to say something when his lips crashed into yours. You were shocked, confused and was processing what was happening. He realized you werent responding and was about to pull away, when you held his face and deepened the kiss. You werent sure what was happening, maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was something else but you wanted it to last. Kun held your waist bringing you closer to him.

You woke up to the sound of your alarm. You threw a pillow at it making it fall to the ground and probably broken. You try to roll to your side only to be constricted somewhere on your waist area. You place your hand on your waist but instead you feel a large hand. Your eyes widen. You looked down the blanket and realized you were naked. You slowly turned your head around to the side and saw Kun sleeping beside you, shirtless.

He pulled his hand away and placed it on top of his eyes, groaning. He then turned his head and gave the same reaction as you. His eyes grew wide and he started going white.

"Oh shit."

---

You chuckle remembering that incident 6 years ago that had led to this. Your lips turn to a thin line and you pull your hand away from his face.

"Why'd you do that?" A mumble said. Kun rolls to his side going nearer to you. He pulls your hand and places it back on his face. His other hand wraps around yous bum and pulls you to him. He places soft kisses on your thighs and looks up at you through his lashes. He then pulls you down, you in an uncomfortable position—your body bent down and your legs dangling on the bed. He pulls you in on a kiss and leaves soft kisses on your jaw. You climb yourself on bed and stradle him getting a soft moan from his parted lips.

After having a steamy morning sex on bed, it follows then on the shower then the kitchen. That was the routine.

Kun places you down from the bar table and grabs a handful of tissue handing them to you. You grab it and dab on the beads of sweat on your face while Kun wipes you in the lower area. You eye Kun, following his every movement. There it was again, the painful feeling in your heart.

Kun stands up and you stretch your hands out fixing his tie. You tiptoe and stroke his hair, fixing the tiny strands poking out. Kun holds your waist and stare at your eyes. You stare back at him too and he gives his dimple smile. He leans down and kisses your forehead.

He slowly pushes himself away from you. He grabs his bag and walks to the door. You tightly fist your skirt, the aching feeling back again. Kun turns around but freezes when he sees you looking panicked.

"y/n." He calls out, slowly walking to you.

"Stop." You say, voice shaking.

Kun stops on his tracks.

Youre eyes are wet and tears are pooling on your eyes. "It hurts Kun," you touch your heart. "Here." Tears already slipping out

"y/n." he calls out again.

Before he could say anything, you cut him off first. "Just go. Please." You look away. "Ill see you tomorrow at dawn as always."

Kun sighs deeply. He clenches his hands hard, his knuckles turning white. "Im sorry." He said before turning away and leaving the flat.

You fall to your knees crying. You've loved him for a long time and now here you are. This is all your fault.

---

After the incident long time ago, you two became inseparable. Casual hang outs, dates and sex here and there. Slowly without realizing it you were falling for him. You became dependent on him, you kept relying on him. It was all perfect

However, things turned upside down. After graduating college, he was introduced to a girl by his family. It was arranged marriage. When Kun told you all this, you didnt know what to do but give him the smile and comforting words he needed.

Just like that you were drifting apart, he needed to be with her, get to know her. If he wasnt with her he was busy with work. You could only hang out every once in a while. Get some coffees, trying to update each other about life then say your goodbyes.

Until that day when you were out drinking with Lucas and friends when you reached your limit. You started crying and babbling about Kun. Lucas called Kun to pick you up

When Kun arrived, Lucas said some things to him in a hard tone but you couldnt understand the language. Kun approached you, picked you up and walked you home. You probably fell asleep because next thing you know you were home, on your bed. You propped yourself up with your elbows and saw Kun walking out your room.

You panicked. You picked yourself up and ran up to him. You hugged him and begged him not to leave. Kun stood still while you cried and begged. He turned to face you asking you to stop. You screamed I Love You at him then kissed him.

You woke up and felt a cold bed beside you. You went out your room and see Kun whipping up some breakfast. He greeted you and placed the food on the bar table. He apologetically smiled at you. He was about to leave when you called him. He turned to you.

"What happened yesterday..." you trail off.

"Its fine."

"No. Its not."

Kun looked at you blankly. "y/n"

"Youre not happy with her right?" You swallowed a saliva. "But you have to be with her because of your family."

Kun raised an eyebrow. "What are you insinuating here?" He crossed his arms.

"Fuck friends." You answered quickly and confidently.

Kun froze. His eyes widen and his arms drop. "y/n, are you listening to yourself right now?" He asked in a serious tone. His eyebrows furrowed.

Disappointed flashed through your face. Yes it was desprate and stupid but you didnt want Kun to leave you. You looked down and gripped the hem of your shirt. Yes it was shameful but that didnt matter to you at that moment.

"Kun, I love you." You said softly enough for him to hear.

Kuns face softened. "y/n, dont do this."

You looked up at him desperately. "I love you. I dont want you to leave me. I—"

Kun pulled out his hand, signaling you to stop. "Give me some time." He looked at you sadly. He turned around and left.

You stood there shocked with what just happened. You were never this kind of girl. What happened? Kun happened. The whole day went on like a blurr. You werent functioning properly. You spent your whole day in the flat shutting yourself out, not answering Lucas' texts or calls.

It was 12 pm already yet there you were sitting on the sofa, staring dazely at the movie playing on tv. The ring of the doorbell startled you. You walked lazily to the door, pissed and ready to scold whoever it was. You opened the door but froze as soon as you saw who it was.

Kun pushed you in, pulled your face to his and kissed you roughly. He cornered you between the wall and placed his hands on your ass, squeezing it. You whimpered when he pulled away.

"Deal." He said panting.

You looked at him confused.

"Fuck buddies, fuck friends, whatever you call it." He said.

The sex that happened was rough. You never expected Kun to show or even have this side of him. Your sex was usually loving and soft but this time it was different. He was dominating everything.

He lay down beside you, chest heaving up and down. You turned to him, your head on his biceps. You traced little circles on his chest, staring at his face with droplets of sweat.

"Why."

Kun lookes at you. "What ya mean 'why.'"

"Why'd you say yes. This morning you gave me this disappointed face. I thought Id never see you again."

Kun looked at the ceiling. He opened his mouth but closed it again. "Theyre controlling me. Im like a puppet." He looked back at you. "But with you, I feel free."

You smiled and pecked his cheek. You cuddled close to him, both your breaths harmonizing. You looked at again him. He was already sleeping, his eyebrows furrowed. You rose up and pressed the pad of your index on the middle of his brows. It relaxed. You looked at his features and sighed sadly.

He's using you.

You pecked the middle of his brow then lay back down to the same position, slowly dozing off.

Just like that you became fuck buddies and had a schedule planned. Hed come to you at dawn and leave before lunch for work. That simple. He'd text you or call you when he couldnt come. You two would spend time occasionally with Lucas but the girl was always around.

The whole time both of you were together you never heard him reply to your I Love You's. He'd either nod, reply with a hum or he'd give that dimpled smile of his.

---

This kept going on until now. 6 years. You waking up to a hot morning and going to bed with a cold night.

---

You're still crying there, unable to recover. You want this to stop but at the same time you didnt. You let out a loud cry, loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.

Unknowingly, Kun's still outside, leaning on your door. His head raised up looking at the ceiling light. He closes his eyes, a tear falling.

End

---

I actually hesitates in posting this. I never see Kun being like this. He's more like a brotherly-mother type for me.

Also, its my first time writing with little bits of making out so, Im sorry if it kinda sucks.

Hope you enjoy it.

‘Cause No Matter How Far Away You Roam

take it all as it comes. seize the oportunities. listen to your inner voice, and if you don’t hear it, ask.  

Always: Be greatful for the happiness feelings you feel every single day.

Recognize when the right opportunity is before you and say yes. But if you dont, know the boat will come again, and know your reason for missing it.

Plans and day dreams are nice, but let them be free. Watch out for getting too attatched. We prefer general headings.

Remember watching, “How To Be Single” and feeling like this was your time to enjoy being single while in this stage of self descovery. To remember learning how to date, how to talk to people, and how to hold onto your own identify.

Find and Do No Matter Where You Are:

Play with improv people. join a theater group

Take singing lessons. join a choior

Keep making your moon calanders! Study Astrology.

Pole Play Classes. Dance classes

underground bush doof crew

Everything written here has placed a call to me, and is currently waiting, patiently on hold.

Make movies. Research bus channels. Consider yours.

Act/Perform. Read poetry, stories and speaches to people from mobile sets in character.

Sail home for Christmas

Once Home: Set Some Shit Straight:

Impact Invest! Talk to one of those guys who makes your money make money. 

Sort out your taxes, health care, and province of residing. Get GST number for a small, legit paper trail and to justify the cerb minimum income requirements.

Lazer hair removal.  

Time to Get Your Self Some Nice Things: Good quality solar powered phone charging water proof blue tooth multi speaker linkons portable speaker. 

Books: Anatomy for the artist.  A massive “learn to read the stars” astrology book, total “yoga poses” reference guide.  

go shoping and record the items, review and return later. see how they look through the camera’s eye. find the neck lines you like. thin straps. Try less reveiling necklines, they are destracting, people will look, listen and be enchancted by everything else

.Ask grandma and grandpa a hundred questions.

Watch tissue movies with mom.

Visit Royal Pizza

Organize family activities, skating, toboganing, holrac park. Snowboarding trip?  

Propose bio mobile bus/prototype build to dad  

Have a Dance in Golden and visit kyle…  

First summer with the bio-biel. Climb mountains. Serve A Vapassana.  Learn Gin Shin Do from a master. Visit the landing.

Do you still wanna train hop? this is probably a better sooner then later activity.  

Winter town! Seasonal job. Collect thousands of dollars for passing go.

My Karman Line: Learn about starting a business. Event Organizer/Project Manager. Online Careers. How to become a home care assistant.

Stationary Routine breads clarity and focus. New Places are exciting, stimulating, inspiring, and distracting.

Biofuel Home Bus:

MIDNIGHT IDEA* bus so I dont have to pay rent while going to school/studying to get the job that will allow me to work and live around the world. hense vegabonding after bussing. No roommates, no rent, no part time job money worries, small space, less mess, fewer distractions. I can work part time if I want to, not cause I have to. I can be close to school, no comute, close to my kichen, less money spent eating out. I feel the time for study is getting closer.

I like the idea of bus before boat, cause when I get land the bus is home base while I build. Then the bus is safely left on the property. The boat is a little less safe left in the water.

You’d think I would vegabond before biofuel, but i just got a craving…. then I got an incling, “maybe these arnt one time phases.” cause now i got another thought, I'm back to the vegabond route, but a more "stay-awhilebond" feelin. Like hop into communities with the intensión of staying a while, maybe better with this new "normal" places might want you to quarentine. But, boat life, Bus life, House life, Back-pack life. and they keep heluxing round and round. And there’s always new hobbies, interests, self discoveries and purposes. With constant sweet notes of good food, friendship, discovery. And never ending curiosity.

MIDNIGHT VISION: 1 am, drinkin water by the gallon…. a song comes on. I can’t hold it in. The bus bursts open and I pour my heart out down the empty street. Pirouette’s under street lamp spot lights, broken hearts to car hoods. Coming to an hour latter, looking around, ‘where am I?´ Time to choose a walking home song. A small space will be good for me. Forces me to get outta the house.

There’s no correct order, or direct timeline. Remove the 5 hinderances, and listen to what the moon says is best for you right now. Sailing also sounds better with a crew, thanks to Swell, by Liz Clark.

short cut dotted out with Kyle Button: sail the ports and archipelagos, appartment hop the interiors, build in Canada or the perfect place once it’s found.  

Recycle Sailing Fleet. Bee Bike Troup. The little book of Aquireing Knowledge series. 

Vegabond. Live, Work and Study in so many other countries.You can do this after 35 aswell. You can find amazing work oportunities that don’t require the permit, that will sponsor a permit, that wants to marry you. Or you’ll fit into the specialist or exeption section. You’re not necessarily looking for a typical, need a working vissa job anyway. Plus, some countries might not have this restriction, you never looked for your self.

We were talking with Josie the other day and we got on to the different types of lives on the security-adventure scale. For argument sake, we named 4 main ones. The people who never leave the towns they grew up in, the ones who do but settle some where, the ones who move every so often, keeping it fresh and the ones who never stop, who, say live out of a back-pack or travel the world on a bike, throwing them selves into the unknown. When she spoke of these people, my heart fluttered…..  

House sit, wwooff, work-away when the world alows open travel again. And maybe Do it by bike? As few planes as possible. LIVE in the cities of the world, get to know them, be a part of them. Know the public places, the baker on the courner, where the oldest trees and stairs are.

Entreprenuer. Have your own business. Work for your self. See one note Starters.

Homestead. Own Property out right. I will pay for everything up-front, all the money I save on interest by waiting will be trippled by keeping the money invested till there is more then enough for the propert, land and home development. Enough will be left over, and remain invested, to continue growing at a steady, live a comfortable life and travel as I wish, take what ever courses i wish rate.

Raise your kids here, with stability providing safety. Routine creating tradition that will be imprinted in them for ever, every pumpkin pie will make them feel their childhood in fall, and the excitment of starting school again. Let them grow conected to nature and their food. Atleast till 7. Then ask them what they want to do? wanna go to school in the city? wanna live in a bus and travel across the continent? Wanna live in a boat and sail around the world? Please learn another language, spanish is easy and lots of places different to us. 

Maybe kids raised in a bus or on a boat might could also be a good thing. After rocking Nera to sleep, for only less then an hour, it occured to me, a rocking boat or moving bus would be great right now.

Sail around the world with an electric assist bike and a survival libraray

Return to the nice place, with enough acres for privacy, gardens, animals, out door hot tubs, a green house, all within a food forest and be within walking distance of neighbours and a satisfying community hub. Some people watching spots and art events can be a comfortable scooter ride away. maybe this is the same place as the homestead. Maybe my parents are with my by this point.  

Bio Bus. I’ve been in the office 6 months now, and im starting to want a change. Change just might be my nature. So maybe it’s back to the bus. This time with Gatto, Pero, Pollo, bicicleta and creator machines. Traversing the continent selling soaps, teas, hot snacks wrapped in bees wax at ski hills, soaking potions, spa days at tree planter camps and tickets to movie nights.    

BLUE PRINTS:

Movement Space: soft matt 5x5, to emcompass my whole body’s reach in every angle. hand holds ancored into the floor for traction. ropes hanging from the roof for balance, suport. golf and tenis balls for massage.

Kitchen Hacks: design cooking area to be re-panted every few years cause it gets so dam dirty and change is a must. window sills for herbs to grow. sinks with water spouts that fill in the middle and swivel. counters with an over hang so you can sit. lots of different lighting options. Wooden counter top, i hate the sound of everything clanging on marble 

Ideal Community: lots of greenery, big old trees, bike and walk friendly, inviting public spaces, big enough that I want to go out and be apart of it, that i have places and people to visit and watch. A place with seasons. I don´t want to be hot and itchy all year round. A place where people steward the land, and shape it with Peter Pan’s elegant hands. No generic, shitty, fast food joints, only healthy artisian. Beautiful works of arcitecture harmanizing our day to day with nature. No junk advertisments. 

Arplis - News: Valentines Day | All on Prime

Hi friends! How was your weekend? It was our first basketball game of the season and our team won! What a great start to the season! Yesterday, after church was a birthday party for one of Jordans friends (thankfully, shes on the mend) and she had so much fun seeing her friends after missing three days of school last week!

Sunday night, I didnt feel like it, but I did all those Sunday evening things that set the week up for success clean kitchen, laundry, lunch prep, fridge clean out & making a plan for the week. To keep myself going, I just kept thinking how much Ill appreciate having those things done when Monday morning hits.

Ive been using Sunday to meal prep and plan for the rest of the week. I write out on paper my schedule for the week and the top things I need to do each day. Even though I keep a calendar on my phone, having it written out where I can see it and actually cross things off feels so good!

Next month is a big one for us! Its Valentines Day, Jordans birthday, and then my birthday all within a week!

I wanted to have Jordans party at the neighborhood park, but Houston weather is too tricky in mid-February, so I just booked a jumpy place. It was the same place we went to for her friends birthday and the kids had a blast! I was looking at Jordans face while she was bouncing so high and the JOY was incredible!

Now that my holiday storage closet is all nice and organized, Im more pumped to add some decor for each season. I didnt have much for Valentines day, but I found some really darling things on Amazon that arrived in a jiffy, thanks to PRIME! I love adding even just a little bit of festive decor around the house.

It doesnt have to be much, but I think the kids appreciate it too.

VALENTINES DAY ALL ON PRIME

Tulip Wreath Valentine Banner Corkcicle Kitchen Towels Apron Table Runner Buffalo Check Pillows Valentine Pillows Faux Fur Blanket Front Door Decor Valentine Paper Pom Decor Eyelash Mug Pink Matches

Tulip Wreath Yall already know how much Im loving my tulip wreath and Ive enjoyed seeing it in your homes too! You can always tag me on Instagram and Stories @honeywerehome and I can share! I have the darker red/pink wreaths on my front door, and bought the white/light pink for my kitchen. It looks absolutely gorgeous and I love how often I get to see it!

Valentine Banner I usually add a banner above Jordans bed for the holiday and its an easy, inexpensive way to add some Valentine decor!

Corkcickle As a gift or for yourself, a corkcickle is awesome! And pink for Valentines Day.

Triple isolated, it will keep your drink cold or hot for 9 hours. The silicone bottom is slip proof- good for putting on the bleachers at the ball fields with your drink of choice. Shhh, I wont tell!

Kitchen Towels Ive done away with paper towels over here and dont really miss them. We use kitchen towels and cloth napkins now. Having a set of each you truly like using or displaying is so nice!

Apron Ive come to enjoy putting on an apron, especially when we bake. It does help save all that flour from getting on your clothes, plus it looks absolutely adorable! The one above is only $17!

Table Runner Dang, this runner is cute! Hearts on hearts, but more styles available.

Buffalo Check Pillows &Valentine Pillows Pillows are an easy way to update your decor. I like the mix of buffalo check with the Valentines script pillows.

Faux Fur Blanket We can never have enough throw blankets around here. Not only do we cuddle up with them, they also make great decor over chairs, in baskets or folded neatly on the couch. This one is extra furry and soft.

Heart Envelope Door Decor I just bought this adorable heart exploding envelope and its the cutest thing! Its really large, so it makes a big statement and the quality is so good! Ill be happily using it year after year.

Valentine Paper Pom Decor If you really want to add some pizazz, this paper pom pom display will do the trick!

Eyelash Mug How sweet is that eyelash mug?! The detail is so cute with the gold handle.

Pink Matches Every.single.evening I light candles in the living room and one in the kitchen. The kitchen candle is my reward for cleaning up every night. The living room candles help me relax after what is usually a hustle of a day. I thought these pink matches make the cutest decor and would be a lovely gift, not to mention, useful! They come in every color.

VALENTINES DECOR IN OUR HOME

I switched out the Christmas decor for a fresh pink palette that works for Valentines Day on through Spring.

Vase Table Chairs on sale Plates on sale Buffalo Check Napkins Washable Placemats Faux Peony Bouquet

Vase Faux Peony Bouquet

How gorgeous are these faux peonies?! I put two bouquets in this vase and I love how it looks! As much as I love fresh flowers, a good set of faux flowers is great to have on hand because they last year after year without any maintenance.

Buffalo Check Napkins Washable Placemats Faux Peony Bouquet

Buffalo Check Napkins Washable Placemats

I need washable placemats since I have two messy eaters at my family table. These wipe up easily and the wood grain and pink color is really pretty in person. Before I ordered these, I read tons of reviews on placemats. These had over 500 positive reviews and only $11 for a set of six!

We do actually use the cloth napkins. Theyre nice and big, 1212. I can just throw them in the washing machine and reuse.

Tulip Wreath

Im so happy with how this tulip wreath brightened up our kitchen. I was able to easily hang it from a suction cup hook, but on regular cabinet doors, you could try using a command hook.

Three Tier Tray Rae Dunn Mug Similar Hearts

The three tier tray got a holiday makeover! I had her all dolled up for Christmas in December, then she was looking pretty bare after I took those decorations down. Adding a few felt hearts and Valentines inspired mug was all it took to brighten it up again!

Throw Blanket Similar Chair Side TableSimilar LampOttomanBraided Rug

We can never have enough throw blankets at our house. This white one is light and fluffy fuzzy goodness on one side, and cozy sherpa throw on the other. You can machine wash it and dry it on low. It has over 4,000 positive reviews on Amazon and is only $28 for the 5065 inch.

Throw Blanket

Heart Envelope Door Decor Shelf/Toy Box

This door decoration is so darling. Its a sturdy burlap material and the ribbon has a wire to hold its shape. This could easily work as a front door decor in lieu of a wreath, but Im thinking Ill be putting in in Jordans playroom.

My mom gets credit for putting that toy box together. I ordered it three weeks ago and it had been sitting in the box unopened because the thought of assembling it was daunting! But, she and Jordan got to it last week and I came in at the end when it was almost finished! Thanks Mom!!

Are you adding any Valentines decor touches to your home? Are you ready for Spring decor? I kind of have a mix of Spring and Valentines decor going on with the pink vibes and hearts here and there. But, Im liking how it brought back in some fun after taking all the Christmas decor down. The house was looking kinda bare for awhile!

I cant let today pass without paying respect to Martin Luther King, Jr. I so admire his courage and leadership and always think of how many lives he deeply touched during his time and on into today. We are better because of him.

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Adtwixt - News: Beautiful Garage Pegboard Ideas

DIY – Build a Portable Tool Caddy and surprise Dad, Grandpa or your . So let’s give these DIY garage storage ideas a try! . Garage caddy with pegboard. s 13 clever garage storage ideas from highly organized people, garages, organizing, storage ideas, Put up a pegboard. Garage Organization SystemsGarage . Martha Stewart Fall Organizing Tips Wall Shed Don’t have a shed? Store your summer yard essentials such as hoses, sprinklers and bamboo rods using . Garage Pegboard Wall (#buildit plans via @uglyducklingDIY) Organiser Un Placard, . garage workshop ideas photos pegboard ideas best pegboard garage ideas on You’ll be amazed at the space you create by keeping your belongings . Metal pegboard has 1/4-in. holes and L-shape edge flanges that create built-in standoffs. Metal pegboard strips are ideal for situations where you need a single, sturdy strip of pegboard—like in the garage for hanging long-handled tools. The strips have 1/4-in. Plastic pegboard has 1/4-in. 12 feb. 2018 – The most important thing to remember with a DIY garage pegboard is. . organizing tools of all kinds, so it shouldn’t surprise you that this isn’t . DIY – Build a Portable Tool Caddy and surprise Dad, Grandpa or your . rolling tool storage mobile pegboard cab02 Furniture Dolly, Pegboard Garage, Garage. Every hand tool in the hardware store is hanging on pegboard. . Even the pegboard hooks hang on pegboard hooks. But that should come as no surprise. Instead of being greeted by chaos and the surprise of what you might find, . These 25 garage storage ideas will make your life so much easier and you can get . . A Beautiful Mess shows us how a simple pegboard can clean up and declutter. Inspiration for Garage Storage using pegboard from The Creativity Exchange Tool Wall Storage, Spray Paint . DIY pegboard for tools, spray paint and supplies. Easy Pegboard Wall to keep the garage organized – DIY – Good . Shopnotes Pegboard Tool Cabinet Inspiration Featured On Remodelaholiccombest Box . Garage tool organization Ideas 1077618 organizing the Garage with Diy Pegboard Storage Wallthe Creativity – Inspirational Interior Design Ideas for Living . Items will be in plain sight and within reach when needed with this pegboard organizer. Use it in your garage . 8 ene. 2014 – DIY Garage Pegboard Storage Wall Using Only 5.5 inches of Depth. . Cyndy, you have inspired me beyond words – I am super excited to . Pegboard, also called perforated hardboard or perfboard, is one of the simplest and least expensive storage solutions for hanging tools and other lightweight . diameter PVC pipe and a foam swimming pool noodle for this DIY garage storage system. . Plus: Here are even more garage makeover ideas to fuel your inspiration. . Build this simple pegboard storage area in your workshop or garage. 30 jul. 2013 – Garage organization is not difficult nor is it expensive. . 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Use these EAL Pegboards for the children to see if they can copy the pattern, can . English / French – Anglais / français, English / German – Englisch / Deutsche, . Wholesale Hot Toys Surprise Games 5mm Diy Hama Perler Beads Educational Peg Board,Fuse Bead Kit , Find Complete Details about Wholesale Hot Toys . Stephen I. Deutsch’s 255 research works with 5261 citations and 913 reads, . Tests A&B, Symbol Digit Modalities Test, Purdue Pegboard Test, simple reaction time, Thus, we were surprised at its inability to potentiate MK-801’s antiseizure . 13 nov. 2018 – Try these fresh & modern DIY pegboard ideas! Pegboard organization and storage can be pretty, and be used in any room of the house! Diy peg board My house does not have a pantry, only a few kitchen shelves to fit all my non refrigerated goods. I decided that if I found a new place to house my . Explore The Ordinary Lovely’s board “Pegboard displays” on Pinterest. . The Ordinary Lovely: DIY Advent Calendar Pegboard Display, Diy Advent Calendar . 13 sept. 2018 – This peg board wall treatment is perfect for any house! Because the wooden pegs are interchangeable you can mix, match, and customize to . The beauty of these DIY pegboard organizers is that you can make them pretty much any size you want, depending on what you want to fill them with! 21 juil. 2015 – Keep everything beautifully organized on a pegboard with small hooks. Doesn’t it And speaking of DIY projects, how about building a set of . 10 avr. 2017 – They keep a craft room clutter free while adding a nice display to a wall. Applying a DIY pegboard to an empty wall that would otherwise go . 14 janv. 2018 – You can create your own DIY organization accessories, too! Pegboards look super cute. A well-organized, pretty pegboard is a sight to behold! #StorageSenseWindows10 #PegboardTest #PegboardNerds #PegboardDeutsch #PegboardKaufen

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