went painting with my brother tonight… had a lot of fun. pink dino is mine and the eiffel tower is his (for his gf LOL) they still need to be Uhhhh. fired (?) ya know. since it’s a clay figurine. i’ll post pictures of what it looks like then too hehe

What Happened?

(Story Post)

“…A severe weather anomaly in the Thunder Bay area took place last night, at 11:45pm…” Dax heard the sound of the radio as he slowly woke up. He was exhausted and rather sore all over, his body feeling like a pile of bricks. “…Locals reported seeing a big bird made of light fly through the clouds while scientists are saying the lightning, in combination with Canada Day fireworks, may have appeared similar in shape to a bird…” Dax couldn't ignore that and he sat up straight, looking around for the source of the news broadcast. There was a little clock radio on the bedside table reading out 5:44am. Moments later, he realised he didn't recognise his surroundings. He wasn't at the hotel but he was in a bed. He was alone in a room with wooden walls and big glass windows. There was a closet and a dresser, with little wooden animal figures lining the top. Outside, he could see over a small lake. It was awfully familiar.

The bedroom door opened and Kent stuck his head in, glaring at Dax. “So you're awake.” “What? Where am I?” Dax asked. “What happened?” “This is my room, dumbass,” Kent said. “Now get the fuck out.” “Um, how did I get here?” Dax asked. Kent narrowed his eyes. “You don’t remember flying in here like a bat out of hell?” Dax shook his head. Kent huffed. “Best you don't, then...” “Please, I... All I remember was going back to the hotel with Nathan, and then... Then...” He wracked his mind. “I don't know... I don't remember a thing.” “Again, it's best you don't. Get out.” “You don't understand!” Dax said desperately. “I never lose control like this anymore! This isn't normal for me! I need to know what happened. I can't let this happen again. It sounds like a whole city saw me!” “At least the bird's all they fucking saw...” Kent grunted. “You came falling in like a shootin' star and then barge into my house and into my bedroom.” “Really?! I'm so sorry!” Dax apologised. “Please tell me I didn't hurt you!” “Hurt me?” Kent scoffed. “Fuck no... You think you could hurt me, veggie boy? Get fucked.” “So, then... What?” Dax asked. “What did happen last night?” Kent clenched his jaw. “Nothin'. You went to sleep.” Dax blinked. “...Seriously, Kent. What happened?” Kent just set his jaw and didn't make eye contact. Dax started to panic. “...Don’t tell me... We didn't... You and I...” Kent just retreated and closed the door behind him. “Get your clothes and get the fuck out!” he called through the door. Dax dropped his head into his hands. “No... Shit, shit, we can't...” The aches of his body told him otherwise though. He got up with the blanket wrapped around his waist, and looked for his clothes. He found them on the floor and pulled on his boxers before hobbling to the door, opening it again. His eyes found Kent standing in his kitchen watching his coffee pot drip. “Kent,” Dax said getting the bear man's attention. “We need to talk about this.” “We absolutely do not,” Kent growled. “Your bags are there.” Dax looked down to find his and Nathan's overnight bags at his feet. “I need to call Nathan... Let me borrow your phone.” Kent huffed and went through his kitchen drawers before he pulled out a smartphone and tossed it to Dax. Dax wasn’t prepared and fumbled it, but his managed to catch it. “Be careful! These things are fragile and expensive...” Kent just shrugged. Dax tried to turn it on but he got nothing but an empty battery symbol. “It's dead...” “Yep.” “You have to keep it charged up,” Dax said. “Where's the charger?” Kent frowned. “Don't know.” Dax groaned in frustration. “Have you ever charged it?” Kent shook his head. “Nope.” “So, I imagine you never took the charger out of the box,” Dax assumed. “Do you have the box?” Kent opened the same drawer again and pulled out the box onto the counter. Dax went over, giving the bear man wide berth, and took the box before going through it. He pulled out the phone charger and looked around for an outlet. “Hopefully this thing charges fast,” he said as he found an outlet by the light switch and plugged it in. “Although it'll be a pain if you never even set it up...” “It's set up,” Kent said. “It went off a whole lot before it crapped out.” “It just lost charge,” Dax said. “It's probably like brand new. They even provided you a case and screen protector. I wish people gave me free thousand dollar phones...” “That thing costs a thousand dollars?” Kent exclaimed. “You have to be kidding me!” “No, this looks like the latest device...” Dax said. “I can't google it right now, but these big brand ones can run you anywhere from $1000 to $1900 depending on if it's the fancy version or not.” “Shit, you ain't joking...” Kent went over and picked up the phone where it was charging. “If I'd known, I would've pawned it off immediately...” “Good thing you didn't since you're going to have to use it if you want to be in contact with your kids,” Dax said crossing his arms. Kent sneered. “I’d just buy a normal land phone.” “Um, you're off the grid. Your house literally isn't near any telephone lines. It's a miracle you have cell reception in the first place.” Kent groaned and put the phone down. “Still though... How am I supposed to use this thing anyway? There's no real buttons and my hands are too big." “No, they're not. Look, there's accessibility settings in the phone to help you out if you really need it,” Dax said, picking up the phone to see if it had enough charge to turn on. He got a happy little jingle and the logo appeared. “Yes! Alright, after I call Nathan, I'll show you how to use it.” “Don't need it,” Kent said firmly. Dax frowned. He stood up straight and looked Kent dead in the eyes. “Look, asshole. You have been nothing but rude to me this entire visit. I get it. I'm the other guy. I'm the one Nathan chose to raise his kids with. I'm the one in the way of you having a happy little family or whatever... But I'm really not your enemy. Nathan has said a lot of bad things about you, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt because I didn't know you. I even tried to convince him to bring the kids up to meet you in the first place. And now that we're here, I still think you deserve to see your kids, but you need to show me at least a tiny ounce of respect. I'm literally just trying to help you. Nathan, like everyone else in the ‘First World’, is smartphone dependent. If you can't use one, he's not going to bother trying to reach you some other way, and you're not going to see your kids. Let me show you how to use the damn phone.” Kent crossed his arms and didn't say anything. Dax sighed and just tried to figure out if he could access his contacts online through Kent's phone. When he managed to log into his own account, he found Nathan's phone number and called it. After a couple rings, Nathan picked up. “Hello?” “Nathan, it's me, Dax!” “Dax? Oh, thank god... Are you alright?” “I think so... I'm at Kent's. I'm using his phone,” Dax explained. “Yeah, I'm on my way over now. APID tracked down your location, but they insisted on me waiting until they had everything under control around here before they let me come get you... I'm really glad you're okay. You really scared me last night.” “Nathan, I'm so sorry... I honestly have no idea how I even ended up here,” Dax said. “The thunderbird took over and I...I don't understand what happened to me... It's been years since I've lost control like this, and it's never been this bad...” “It's okay, babe. What matters is you're safe and it's over. I'm coming to get you. Just relax, okay?” “Yes, alright...” “Can I talk to Kent for a moment?” “Sure.” Dax offered the phone to the bear man. Kent took it and grunted into the receiver. “Nate?” “Yeah, hey... I'm coming to get Dax and you better be nice to him. He's freaking out, and I'm kinda freaking out too, so give him a break.” “Veggie boy's fine here,” Kent said. “Don't get your knickers in a twist.” “What state was he in when he got to your place? Did he cause any damage?” Kent hesitated. “...No, he just swooped in and passed out...” “Okay... Well, we're ten or fifteen minutes away. You can tell me everything when I get there.” “There's no everything, that's it. You should be telling me what the fuck happened for sparky to come bustin' in here in the middle of the damn night.” “Aw, did he ruin your beauty sleep, big boy?” “Shut up... Come get your boy toy and y'all can get the fuck out. Go back home and get my kids for me.” “That's pretty much the plan,” Nathan said. “You just have to uphold your side of the deal.” “I already trained you some, damn dog. I earned my time with my damn kids.” “You're gonna see them. Relax.” “I better.” “Give me back to Dax.” Kent handed the phone back before going to his room and closing the door behind him. “Nathan, I want to apologise again if I hurt you at all...” Dax said. “I never wanted you to see me at my worst...” “Dax, you've had to be there at my worst countless times already. I'm willing to do the same for you. I care about you.” “...Thank you, Nathan. That means a lot.” “I'll see you in ten, okay?” “Okay. See you soon.” “See you.” Dax hung up the phone and walked it over to Kent's bedroom. He knocked on the door gently. “Hey, let me show you how to make a call before Nathan gets here... Then you can show him what you learned.” The door opened and Kent stood there, looming over Dax. “...Are you plannin' on tellin' him what transpired last night?” Dax shuddered. “...I still don't know exactly what happened last night. You still need to fill me in on the details.” Kent set his jaw. “What do you want me to say?” Dax pursed his lips. “...If I cheated on Nathan, I need to know.” Kent glared at him. “Nothin’ happened!” “I know you're lying to me,” Dax said. “I know you're scared of being gay or having feelings for men and whatever, but this isn't just about you. My relationship is at stake here!” “You think I don't fuckin' know that?” Kent growled. “Do you think Nathan would let me see my damn kids if he found out I fucked his limp dick boyfriend?!” Dax stepped back, his body feeling weak suddenly. “Oh god... So we did... We actually did...” Kent grabbed Dax's shoulder. “Listen, celery stick. Nothin' happened if no one says anythin' happened. Got it?” Dax shook his head. “But what did happen? I don't remember a thing... Did you...did you take advantage of me?” “Advantage?” Kent snarled. “Are you insane? You came on to me! You came into my fuckin' room and tried to ride me!” “Maudite château de marde...Sacrament...” Dax rubbed his temples. “But you let me?” “Don't try to fuckin' blame me,” Kent growled. “There was something wrong with you, you had all these damn pheromones reekin’ up my damn room, I didn't have any damn control. The bear had control!” “I fucked a bear?!” Dax felt like he was gonna pass out. “Well, no. I was still mostly human,” Kent said. “It ain't that time.” “If you didn't transform, you were in control!” Dax said. “You didn't fuckin' transform and you weren't in no damn control!” Kent said. “I’m not a therianthrope, the Thunderbird has different levels of control, it's all complicated!” “Well, I'm complicated too, damn it! I ain't fuckin’ no man on purpose!” “Bullshit!” Kent grabbed Dax's arms and turned them both around before shoving him against the wall beside his bedroom door. “Listen, you little bitch!” Dax gasped in pain. “You're hurting me...” “Nathan ain't going to hear about this,” Kent growled. “Nothin’ happened. Do you understand?” Dax frowned looking up at Kent. “I'm not going to lie to him.” “I will fuckin' kill you,” Kent threatened. Dax didn't back down. “And then what? Nathan will be here in minutes with agent Hanover. You'd be arrested on the spot, sent back to the US, and they will execute you for real this time. You'll never meet your children and they truly will be the kids of a murderer.” Kent just glared at him a few more seconds and then he squeezed Dax's wrist, digging his thumbs in. “Why do you want to tell Nathan? You want to lose him?” “Of course, I don't, but I...” Dax bit his lip. “I understand what it's like to be cheated on. I know how horrible it feels to be lied to and to be made to feel guilty about something someone else did. But I love Nathan, and this was a mistake. The best chance for this all to work out the best possible way is to be honest and work through it together.” “...That's hippy crap,” Kent said. “He's going to kick your ass to the curb.” “Then...so be it,” Dax said. “But I trust Nathan to be a better person than that.” Kent just let go of Dax and walked back to the kitchen in a huff. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. Dax exhaled, his heart racing faster than he wanted to let on. He rubbed his wrists and found small punctures where Kent had dug in with his sharp nails. They bled a little. “I can still show you how to use the phone...” Dax offered, trying to be the better man. “I'll need a couple Band-Aids first, though...” Kent popped the lid off his beer with the edge of the counter. “Bathroom, under the sink. But don't bother with the damn phone. Nathan’ll be here soon...” “Well, if we got started, we'll at least look like we're getting along when he gets here,” Dax said as he went to the bathroom. Kent grunted. “Fine. But get dressed.” “You don’t have to tell me twice…”

Reckless (Seth Rollins)

Seth Rollins x OC Maya Grey One Shot 

Warnings: just sad.

A/N: Soooo.... this has been in my drafts for awhile now and after some positive motivation from @royallyprincesslilly​ @thedeboniardevistation​ and @bigstrongblackheart​ I’ve just decided to post it. 

Hope you like it. 

AUGUST 23, 2015 11:27 PM

MANHATTAN, NY

DING!

The elevator comes to a halt upon the arrival of yet another floor. A robotic, yet feminine voice came over the speaker to announce:

“You have arrived at the twenty-third floor.”

The metal doors slowly open to reveal a black and gray hallway with artwork of abstract watercolor paintings hanging on the walls. Standing towards the back of the car, leaning against the safety bar, I watch as my aunt Isobel steps off the elevator. Placing one hand in front of the elevator door so it wouldn’t close she scans the hallway, looking left and then to the right, all to make sure that there was no one around.

After a few minutes, she finally turned her gaze back into the elevator towards me. A small, loving smile softly forms and she extends a hand.

“Come on cariña,” she whispers.

I nod my head and, with a heavy sigh and a push off the safety bar, I throw the thick strap of my Diva’s Championship over one shoulder and my gym over the other. I step off the elevator and into the waiting arms of my aunt and we begin our walk down the hall. 

Isobel puts one hand on the swell of my back while the other pulls her suitcase. My gaze fell to the floor as we walked, focusing on the hotel’s unusual carpet pattern while she scanned the placards on the wall looking for our room. Every so often I could feel her eyes practically burning a hole into me before quickly turning away to look back up at the placards. 

She was worried. She had every right to be. Since leaving the Barclay Center over an hour ago I had barely said a single word. Not to her, to Roman, no one. I was catatonic and numb. 

But who could blame me? After what just happened, anyone would react the exact same way if they were in my shoes.

As we made our way down the hall, I could feel my phone consistent buzzing through the thin fabric of Roman’s hoodie he had lent me back in Brooklyn. Slow at first, but quickly becoming more often with every unanswered second passing by.

Call me crazy, but it almost felt like with every step I took, my phone would go off.

Step.

Buzz.

Step.

Buzz.

Step, step.

Buzz, buzz.

Step, step, step.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Normally I would have answered it by now. But instead, I choose to ignore whoever it was and kept on. 

We reached the very end of the hall and finally stopped in front of a door marked 1127. From the corner of my eye, Isobel pulls out a key card from the pocket of her jeans and slide it into the automated lock. A few short whirring, buzzing sounds later, a green light flashes and a loud *click* signals the door had unlocked. She turns the handle, pushes the door open, and then moves to the side to usher me into the room. She follows right behind me, but not before grabbing the “Do Not Disturb” sign from behind the door and hooks it on the handle outside the room.

The door shuts and Isobel sees a small touchscreen wall panel placed by the door. She presses the button marked Lights and the overhead lights come on, revealing the room to us.

Placing my title belt on the dresser, I look around at what would be my new home for the next two nights. For the most part, the room looked like every other hotel room I’d stayed in while on the road. Granted, this was probably the most luxurious of most of them, but still pretty standard. 

There were two Queen beds each donning a fancy purple duvet with no less than eight of the fluffiest pillows I have ever seen in my life, a giant flat screen TV mounted above a black dresser, cashmere floor rugs draped across cherry hardwood floors, a cozy little reading area near the windows with a small leather loveseat, and a wet bar fully stocked with overpriced snacks and tiny bottles of alcohol. 

The only thing that did make the room stand out from all the others, however, was the incredible view. A floor-to-ceiling window panel was centered on the main wall of the room and, because of our floor being leveled with the New York skyline, displayed a near perfect image of downtown Manhattan. There was even a clear view of the Empire State building in the background, lit up in red and blue lights as night blanketed the city.

Moving over towards the beds I toss my gym bag onto the one closest to the window and sit at the foot of the bed, looking out the window. Looking out at the city I couldn’t help but think about how different my life was less than 24 hours ago. I was staying in Brooklyn with the rest of the WWE, getting ready for SummerSlam. I was in this beautiful hotel suite that overlooked the Brooklyn Bridge with the love of my life, my fiancé. My bridesmaids and I had had our final fittings for our dresses, I was getting all the final details ready for my October wedding…

But that was all before a few hours ago.

Before everything had gone to complete and utter shit.

How could this have happened? How could he do that to me? I thought to myself. 

But before I could think of some sort of explanation, the sound of boots clanking across the hardwood floor followed by the thud of Isobel’s purse landing on top of the dresser next to my title.

“Well,” she says with a satisfied sigh, “this is nice. Really nice as a matter of fact, especially with it being super last minute.”

I bring my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and placing my chin on top, never once looking away from the window. “It’s fine, I guess.” I manage to mumble out.

“Fine?” she snorts, “Maya, come on! Look at what we got. Gorgeous view, fancy sheets, free Wi-Fi, a fully stocked bar...”

I hear movement from behind me and see a light flick on through the window’s reflection. “Oh my-, Maya you’ve gotta see this bathroom! It’s got a huge shower and…” she pauses, “Oh. My. God. The floors are heated. Cariña the floors are heated!!”

But I don’t move. I don’t spring up from the bed to revel in her excitement over heated floors or whatever other fancy details the room had to offer. Instead, I just sit there in silence, holding myself as I gaze out into the city and its nightlife. 

I observe the streetlights perched on the sidewalk creating an ominous glow on the pavement. The mixture of city cars and yellow taxis, halted by ongoing traffic as they struggle to reach their destination on time. The small groups of tourists stopping every few minutes for selfies with various buildings in the background, including this very hotel.

All the while my mind replays the events from earlier. A single tear manages to escape from my eyes as my subconscious began to torture me with a play-by-play of what happened. It all still felt like a dream to me, a sick twisted nightmare that no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t wake up from. My brain searched and scanned through every single memory collected from the last three years of our life together.

It was desperate to find any little detail that I may have missed that could explain just where everything went wrong. Something that could’ve prepared me for what would eventually happen.

But I find nothing.

No hints, no little clues. 

No hidden messages or blaring warning signs.

Nothing that screamed out: “Maya don’t be alarmed, but just two months before you’re supposed to get married… you’re gonna find your fiancé half naked with another woman.”

Boy that would’ve been a great fucking warning now, wouldn’t it?

I was so lost in thought that I didn’t feel the bed dip or that Isobel was now sitting right behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin when her hand found its way into my hair, softly playing with it and twirling the ends around her fingers. Another arm wrapped itself around my stomach to embrace me. My body quickly relaxes and I lean into her embrace, my head resting just above her chin. The hand that was in my hair moves to join the one around my stomach and I feel Isobel’s lips plant a soft, motherly kiss at the base of my temple as she gently rocked me.

I knew just how much it pained Isobel to see me like this; a deflated, catatonic alien that had replaced her bubbly and vivacious niece. I’d barely said less than two sentences to her or to anyone else since we left the Barclays, just a few grunts here and there whenever somebody asked me anything. She probably had dozens of questions she wanted to ask right now; ‘are we canceling the wedding, where are you gonna stay, who does she need to call, what I actually wanted to do now,’ things of that nature. 

But rather than bombard me with things that even I had no earthly clue how to answer, she said nothing and just held me.

Though she was my aunt and nearly seven years older than me, I often viewed her as the big sister I never had and the mother figure I had so desperately yearned for. She was my protector from bullies like Angela Ferrell in sixth grade after I had come home crying one too many times for her liking. Isobel pushed Angela face-first into the mud and threatened to shave her bald if she ever messed with me again.

When I reached the preteen stage and my body began to develop, she was the one who explained to me the so-called ‘joys’ of becoming a woman and who took me to the pharmacy to buy my first box of pads. She also, in a very detailed description, broke down the basics of sex and practically scarred me for life. 

After Bryan Anderson gave me my first kiss in fifth grade, she was the best friend that I ran to her to spill all the juicy details. And when I was a junior and my first ever boyfriend Joaquin broke my heart for some varsity cheerleader, she picked me up and helped put the pieces back together with junk food and my favorite horror movies… only after we went and egged Joaquin’s truck. 

Whether it was something as simple as helping me with my calculus homework, or something big as catching a red-eye flight from London to Houston just to watch me compete in my very last high school gymnastics invitational, there was never a moment in my life that I couldn’t rely on her to be there for me whenever I needed her the most.

And tonight, tonight was one of those moments when I definitely needed her.

We stayed like this in comfortable silence for what seemed like hours, just staring out into the night as she held me close to her. I feel her chin fall gently against my shoulder and her breath tickles at the side of my neck for a few minutes before she finally speaks.

“You feel like talking about it?” her voice just above a whisper.

I say nothing but shake my head.

Her lips press themselves gently against my cheek, hugging me a bit tighter as she does. “Ok, that’s fine. We don’t gotta talk about it tonight.” 

“But,” she pauses, “What we should do right now is get some food. Cause I don’t know about you, but I am starving.” 

Once again, I am silent. Intentionally I knew what she was trying to do. First, she would pump me with some of my favorite foods, maybe even some top shelf liquor, then after a few of the cheesiest and goriest slasher films she would happen to find on demand and I appeared to be in a neutral state, she would lay on the questions. It’s been her routine since I was 13 and about 80 percent of the time it usually worked. Sadly though, It’s unlikely that this particular problem could be easily fixed with takeout and Freddy Krueger.

She was right though. I hadn’t eaten anything since this morning and just the mention of food made my stomach growl. 

“Tell you what... why don’t I order us some food, and while I do that you can take a shower and get cleaned up. ¿Suena bien?”

I thought it over for a little before eventually nodding my head in agreement.

“What do you wanna do; Chinese takeout, get a couple pizzas…?”

I look up, her brown eyes meeting mine. “Can we get both?”

A small laugh escapes her mouth, and she squeezes me again. “We can absolutely do both. I’ll even throw in a couple of those brownie sundaes I saw in that menu. While you shower, I’ll call the boys and see where they are with your stuff.”

I nod once more and with one final squeeze and forehead kiss from her, I remove myself from her embrace and slide off the bed. She follows and moves towards a conveniently placed touch screen panel near the window. I watch her press a button on the panel and, in an instant, large panels start to descend over the window panel, slightly darkening the room and hiding Manhattan away for the rest of the night. 

I grab my gym bag from off the bed and make my way inside the en-suite bathroom. Once inside, I shut the door and lock it. Just as she said earlier, this truly was an incredible bathroom. A lot nicer than some I had had before. Apart from the aforementioned heated floors there were marble countertops, super soft Egyptian cotton towels, two complimentary bathrobes with matching slippers, full-size bottles of luxury brand skincare and body products, & to top it all off, a huge glass walk-in steam shower with two large overhead rainfall showerheads and about six square wall panels placed on both the front and back walls. 

Setting the bag next to the sink I make my way over to the shower. On the outside wall was yet another touch screen panel solely for controlling the shower. I look it over for a few moments before finding an app that says ‘RAIN’ and press it. Instantly, the overhead panels come alive and water begins to rain down on the inside. I mess around with a few more buttons, adjusting the water temperature and whatnot, before finally moving away so that the water could warm up.

Back at the sink, I started to open my gym bag when I felt my phone once again start the incessant vibrating like before. But this time instead of ignoring it, I pull my phone from my jacket pocket and look at the screen.

The first thing I see is his profile picture followed by his name. It was one of my favorites of us together, taken almost a year ago at a mutual friend's Halloween party. We were dressed up as Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones, complete with three ‘dragons’ perched on my shoulders. I was looking at the camera but his eyes were fixed solely on me, a smile stretched across his face as he looked.   

I watch the call stop and my home screen reappear with the notification bar.

Over a dozen missed calls and voicemails. 

With a sigh I unlock my phone and scroll through the list of missed calls, seeing one name in particular more often than others.

Seth.

Seth.

Seth.

Renee.

Roman.

Seth.

Brie.

Nikki.

Seth.

Seth.

Seth.

Renee.

Nikki.

Seth.

Roman.

Seth.

Seth.

Seth.

Seth.

Annoyed, I tossed my phone onto the counter, not caring where it landed or if it had smashed. I open my gym bag and go to pull out the set of post-match clothes I always kept handy, so I could change quickly out of my sweaty gear after any of my matches. But when I went to pull them out… nothing. Only my workout clothes from earlier, an extra set of bra and panties, deodorant, and sneakers.

Shit.

I look down at my body, currently covered in the giant hoodie.

Shit, shit, shit.

My suitcase, my clothes, my laptop… all of that is currently on its way from Brooklyn. 

I forgot to pack my spare change of clothes. 

And as if things couldn’t get any better... I’m still in my ring gear from my match earlier. 

My eyes rolled to the back of my hand and my hand runs over my face, an annoyed chuckle escaping as I relish in my own stupidity. 

Great. I thought. Just great. Good job there Maya.

Not wasting any more time, I throw off the hoodie and angrily start to undress. Starting from the bottom, I unlace my wrestling boots and set them next to the toilet. I remove my sweatpants and shimmy my way out of the custom wrestling shorts Isobel had made specifically for tonight. The matching top was next to come off and once over my head I let it fall to the floor next to my shorts, leaving me in just my sports bra and underwear. 

The gear for tonight was all-white with intricate gold lines patterned along the sides, knees, and chest with four symbols faintly embroidered in white on each side; one was mine, the other Roman’s, then Dean’s, and finally… his.  

For months, he’d been throwing the idea around of switching up his ring gear and trying out new colors aside from his usual black attire. And once Isobel had sketched up a white and gold version of his gear, he was beyond ecstatic to showcase it for his Title for Title Match at SummerSlam. 

And when she had enough fabric left over from doing his gear she made a second set just for me. 

“It’s kind of like your wedding dress,” she said to me. “Just in gear form. Hey, if you want I’ll even attach a veil to your butt and it can be your train.”

I quickly shake the memory from my head and free myself of what was left of my clothing. Grabbing two of the white bath towels placed underneath the sink, I set one on the back of the toilet and hanging the other on the hook placed next to the shower. I grab a bottle of complimentary body wash I open the shower door, and finally step inside.

I stand directly underneath, letting the warm water hit my skin and cascade around me and down my body. The splashing against the tile echoed off the walls but it wasn’t enough to drown out my thoughts as they continued to torture me. Every kiss, every touch, every ‘I love you’ we had ever said played on an endless loop in my head as I tried to pinpoint the moment that everything changed.

Meeting for the first time at that college bar back in NXT. That first kiss backstage in NXT that caught us both off-guard. The night he had told me for the first time that he loved me, which was followed up by the night we first made love.    

I try to shake these thoughts from my mind, but it won’t work. No matter what I try to think about, no matter what other happy memory that doesn’t involve him, those memories are still all that play. A few stray tears push their way out but I quickly wipe them away.

No, I thought. You are not going to do this Maya. This isn’t happening right now. Stop it!

I reach over to grab the bottle of body wash from the shelf inside the shower...    

And that’s when I saw it. The tan line on my finger, now completely visible on my left hand that just a few hours ago bore my beautiful oval cut diamond engagement ring. 

The ring that he claimed to have been carrying around in his suitcase for months, hoping to find that right moment that never seemed to come. 

Until the night of WrestleMania, just mere seconds after winning his WWE World Heavyweight Championship, he would look over to Joey Mercury and trade him his newly won title for a small black box. He would get down on one knee and take my hand in his. And then, in front of Vince McMahon and everyone else currently occupying the Guerilla, would ask me to spend the rest of my life with him. 

Now that hand was bare. The ring was gone, given or rather thrown back to him after what had happened.

And just like that, my world came crumbling down. That false sense of reality I had created since leaving the arena had finally collided with actual reality and smacked me dead in the face.

Seth, my first love, the man I was set to marry in less than two months… had cheated on me. And I had caught him tonight. 

Three years of my life, our life together, all gone in a flash. Our plans for the future, children, traveling the world… were all just illusions and fantasies that would never come true.  

My legs carried me backward until my back hit the wall of the shower and I slid down. A wave of nausea swirls all around my empty stomach and my chest tightened like someone was stomping on it repeatedly. The first sob that left my mouth was quiet, nothing short of a small childlike whimper as the tears fell. But more and more as reality continued to sink in, they grew louder. The tears flowed more, so much so that I couldn’t tell what were tears and what was just water from the showerhead. 

My body sank more and more into the ground that before I knew it I had curled myself into a ball, crying into my chest as the water turned from warm to cold. 

But I didn’t care. My head swam with half-formed regrets. My heart felt as if my blood had turned into tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. 

I was emotionally bankrupt. There was nothing left to feel, nothing left to say, nothing left but the void that now enveloped me in swirling blackness.

And it was all because of him.  

END.   

Across The Sea

You had been in Souel for about a month now. You had taken a promotion for work that required you to move abroad for a year to project plan a new division. When you took the job, you thought you’d be staying in NYC, but a month before you were set to start, you found out that the job was actually moving you to Souel. You were absolutely terrified, but you figured you were young and unattached, plus is was only for one year.

You were settling in okay. It was difficult adjusting to the time zone and trying to still talk to your friends and family at home, and you were starting to get homesick and lonely. You knew enough Korean to get by, but you definitely weren’t fluent by any means. For work, it wasn’t too bad. Most of what you were doing was graphic designed based, so it was just a mater of making sketches, and adjusting. It was going out and having a social life that was hard. You were the youngest on your team, by around 20 years, and hanging out with 40 and 50 year old men wasn’t really your idea of fun. So during the week you worked, and on the weekends, you silently explored the city.

You set off on Saturday morning to go get a coffee from the cafe down the street from your apartment and sit along the river with your sketch pad. It was about the only way you’d been able to find comfort while half a world away from home. So you woke up around 8, showered and called your mom to talk while you were getting ready. After talking to your mom for about an hour, you said goodbye, packed up a bag with your sketchbook and pencils, then headed to the cafe. You ordered your usual, americano and a blueberry muffin, then put your headphones in, and left the cafe.

As you were heading to one of your favorite spots along the river, your phone dinged. You mom was sending you a picture of your cat cuddling with her dog. They had been fighting since you moved, and this was the first time they were getting along since your mom started taking care of you cat. You felt the tears in your eyes start to well up, completely taking your mind off the fact you were walking down a sidewalk. Suddenly, you can to an abrupt crash, your coffee going all over the front of you and phone crashing to the sidewalk.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. My mom just sent me a picture of my cat, and I’m sorry. Does you jacket need dry cleaned? Here, let me get some cash.”

The person in front of you began to laugh. “Are you okay?” A deep voice asked in the cutest accent.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. Did my coffee get on you?”

“No. I’m fine.”

The strangers face was hidden by a mask as he bent down to pick up your phone. “Uh, your screen.”

You looked at you phone, and the screen was shattered beyond use. “Great, guess there goes my off day.”

The stranger in front of you chucked again. “Let me get you a new phone. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“No, I can’t accept that. I wasn’t even looking up. It’s fine, really. I should have been paying attention. I just live up the street, so I can run home and change and get a phone this afternoon. Really, it’s fine.”

“No, really. I wasn’t paying attention. I was daydreaming and lost in my own world. Now I insist. Let me get you a phone. Plus, now I know you live on this street, I can just sit out here and wait until you let me pay for it.”

“Are you sure? Because it’s really not that big of a deal. I can-“

“You can let me get you a new drink while you go change, then meet me back here so I can buy you a phone.”

“Okay, thank you, stranger.”

“Yoongi.” A hand extended out for a handshake.

“Thank you, Yoongi.” You retuned the handshake, and it lasted a few seconds longer than it needed to as your eyes locked.

“It’s no problem, stranger. Now what do you want to drink?”

“Y/N. My names Y/N. And an iced americano, please.”

“Y/N. I like that. And you’ve got good taste. Now go change, and I’ll meet you back here in a few minutes, coffee in hand.”

You thanked the stranger, who now had a name, once more as you turned to walk back to your apartment. “Yoongi. What a unique name. And his eyes are so deep.” You thought out loud as you frantically shuffled through your closet looking for an equally as comfortable sweater and leggings combo as the one you had changed into. Thankfully, your jacket seemed to avoid the coffee, so you threw it back on, then set off back to the cafe.

You didn’t know if would still be there, so you didn’t get your hopes up, but sure enough, there he was, sitting at the little bistro table outside the cafe.

“That was quick,” He smiled as he stood up to hand you your coffee.

“Thank you. And yeah, I have to wear my business clothes during the week, so the weekends are reserved for the comfiest thing in my closet.” You let out a little nervous laugh, feeling your cheeks flush with color.

“I like your style. I called for a car while you were changing, it should be here soon.” A warm smile broke across his face. The mask he was wearing when you first collided was now tucked under his chin so he could drink his coffee.

“Really, you don’t have to be so kind. I appreciate it, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want you to feel like you owe me this or something for my clumsiness.”

He let out a deep, raspy laugh. “I can see the car coming, so it’s too late to change my mind now.” A few seconds later, a black town car pulled up to the curb, and Yoongi went out to open the door for you.

“Oh, thanks.” You were shocked at how nice this complete stranger was being to you. You’d been living here for nearly a month, and this was the first time you’d talked to someone outside of work for more than a casual greeting.

Yoongi got in the car on the other side and gave the driver the address of a store on the other side of the town. “So, you’re obviously not Korean. What brings you to the other side of the world.”

“I work for a large company doing project planning. There’s a new division opening, and I’m the designer for the new infographics and displays. It was supposed to be in New York, but got changed at the last minute. The project is only for a year, so my mom is keeping my cat, and I’m living in Souel now.”

You could feel yourself instantly regretting everything you just said. You couldn’t read Yoongi’s expression as you studied him for a response.

“So, you do art?”

“Yeah, not as much as I want to. My major in school was fine arts, but not as many companies are looking for painters.” You leg was shaking nervously. Not at anything the person next to you was saying or doing, you just felt weird talking about yourself.

“Let me know if I’m asking too much. I don’t want you to think I’m stalking you or something.” He let out a breathy laugh that made you smile.

“No! You’re fine! I’m promise. I just get nervous talking about myself. I don’t think what I do is that exciting, but it’s still doing art, it pays well and I get to travel a lot.”

“Having a job that allows you to travel is the best. I feel like I’m always going somewhere new for work.”

“What do you do?” He looked almost surprised at your question.

“Uh, well. I’m a musician.”

“That’s amazing. I love music. I always wanted to play an instrument, but that was never my artistic calling.” He laughed at your comment. “What kind of music do you make?”

“Well, a little bit of everything. I’m in a group, so technically pop music, but we definitely go for more of an R&B sound than traditional pop.”

“So you sing?”

“No way. I produce, write and rap. I wish I could sing, but that was not my destiny.”

“Well, next time you guys have a show, you’ll have to tell me.”      

“Well, if you want that, I guess you better give me you number.”

You felt you cheeks flush with color. That may have been the smoothest pickup line you’ve ever heard. “I..”

“Here.” The driver stopped outside of the phone storefront cutting your response short.          

“Hold that thought.” He quickly ran out of the car to open your door before you could even process everything that just happened.

“Thank you.” You climbed out of the car still flustered by the conversation that had just happened. You tried to relax and walk into the store, but your mind was racing.          

“Let’s get you new phone so you can read the next show flyer I send you.” Yoongi walked into the store, and you followed suit.

“Hi, how can I help you?”

“Hi, we need to get a new iPhone. Whatever the newest model is. And plenty of storage for art and music. Thanks.” Yoongi had answered everything before you could even open your mouth.

“Really, you don’t have to do this. I’m fine with just the same one I have. I’ve got my credit card. It’s fine.”

“No, I ran into you. I’m buying you a new phone. End of discussion.” He reached for his wallet out of his pocket, grabbing a black American Express card.

Who is this man? A black card?

“Did we need any cases or screen protectors today?” The sales representative set the phone on the counter.

“We should probably do the screen protector.”

“Yoongi, at least let me buy that.”

“No, my treat. Besides, you think $20 is going make a difference?” You smiled, still feeling guilty about the kindness of the man who you didn’t even know an hour ago.

“Well, I owe you.” You stepped up to the counter to finish setting up your phone. Once you were finished getting everything set up, the two of you walked back out to the car, and headed back to your apartment.

“So, now that your phone is fixed, how about you text me so I have your number. Then, we can call it even.” Yoongi reached over to grab your phone adding his name and number to your contacts. “Just send me your name so I can save it.”

“Are you sure? Really? Can I at least buy you lunch or something?” You began to send a message to him.

“Hmmm, I guess it is getting close to lunch time. Fine, your number and hot pot. Then, we’re even.” His phone buzzed with the message you sent him, and he saved your number as he asked the diver to take you to his favorite hotpot restaurant.

“I’ve been here a month, and I’ve basically been living off ramen, coffee and whatever is in stock at the 7/11 on the corner. I don’t know enough Korean to try anything else. I’m so scared of ordering something I can’t eat.”

“What?” His face was taken over by a completely shocked expression.

“I know. I know. I’m allergic to eggs, and I’m scared of getting sick. I don’t know what I would do if I got sick without my mom. I still make her come take care of me when I have a cold.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “No eggs. I’ll keep that in mind.”  

The two of you arrived at the restaurant, and walked in for lunch. You had great conversations about family, pets and favorite artist. Before you knew it 2 hours had gone by. The two of you had finished eating about an hour ago, but you were just having a great time getting to know this new person.

“Oh, is it 1:30? Shoot. I have rehearsal in 30 minutes. Let’s get you home.”

“I can call a cab, it’s fine. Really. You’ve done enough.”

“You don’t even know where you are, I’m not leaving you alone. Besides, I have a car waiting outside.”

The two of you got up and left the restaurant, heading back out to the car.          

“Well, did you like it? Better than ramen?”

You nodded you head in a laugh.

“I’ve got to get you out and eating more Korean food. Are you off every weekend?”

“Yeah. I usually spend my Saturday’s drawing by the river, and my Sundays sleeping.”

“A whole day devoted to sleeping. That’s my idea of good time.”

You both laughed, and continued to just get to know each other on for the next few minutes as the car neared your apartment.

The car came to a stop just outside the door up to your apartment.

“Seriously, thank you for everything today. You really didn’t have to, but I truly appreciate it so much. This is the best day I’ve had since I moved.”

“The pleasure was mine. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Okay.” You smiled, got out of the car, and headed toward the door to your building, pausing just before entering to wave goodbye. A soft wave met yours, as the car pulled away.

You walked into your apartment, sat on the couch , turned on the tv and tried process what had just happened over the past few hours. The next thing you knew your phone was buzzing, waking you up.

“New Message from Yoongi 🤴🏻”

“Thanks for hanging out with me this morning. It was nice to step away from life for a few hours.”

“I mean, you didn’t give me much of a choice. You did break my phone. 😉”

“Oh, I see how it is. Much braver now that you’re not with me. 🤔”

“I’m kidding! I really appreciate it so much. Next time coffee is on me. Well... not literally. I don’t need that again.”

“😂 Okay, I’ll hold you to it.”

“Pinky Promise. As long as it’s during the weekend.”

“Well, I have to check my schedule, but I’m sure I’m free the same time next week. This time, we can make it to the river, not the phone store. I can’t afford a new phone ever weekend!”

“😞😖 I’ll try.”

“Hahaha. Listen kid, I’m about to pass out. But seriously, thank you for today. I don’t get my mind off work often, so it was truly refreshing.”

“Well, I’m glad neither of us know how to pay attention when we’re walking. Talk to you soon?”

“That’s not a question, that’s a given. I’ll let you know my schedule next for next weekend soon. Goodnight.”

“Night!”

For the next few weeks, the two of you started to form a genuine friendship. You were surprised at how much the two of you had in common despite growing up on completely opposite sides of the world. Every Saturday morning, you’d meet at the cafe, get coffee and walk along the river. It just felt so good to have someone to talk to that wasn’t the same age as your mom, but your age.  

“So,  do you have any plans tonight?” Yoongi walked up to you, arm extended with a coffee in his hand.

“Well, I did have some big plans of watching Netflix and making instant ramen.”

“Well, I don’t know if I can top that, but we have a show tonight. If you weren’t busy, I was going to see if you wanted to come. It’s just a small fan fest show. You can come hang out with me and the guys backstage. I know it’s not nearly as exciting as Netflix, but we always have instant noodles.”

“Hmmm. I don’t know. Netflix is pretty exciting, and I have been spending every Saturday night at home for the last 3 months I’ve lived here. I really hate to break that streak...” You let out a laugh as you finished the sentence.

“Well, If you can break up with your couch, I can have a car here at 7?”

“7? Let’s see, it’s 12:30 now. That gives me at least 4 hours to nap. I think I can do that.”

“Really? You’ll come?”

“Don’t act so shocked. We’re friends, or at least I think we are. And I’m getting a little bored with Netflix. I gotta tell you, there’s only so many sitcoms you can watch before they all start to seem the same.”

“I’m just excited for you to meet the guys. They all want to meet you. We usually go get food and drinks after the smaller shows like this, you can join us for that if you want, too.”

“That sounds great. I’m a little nervous about meeting everyone, but I think I need more than one friend.” You laughed as Yoongi rolled his eyes.

The two of you continued on with your Saturday morning walk for another half hour before you made it back to the entrance to your apartment.

“I’ll give the driver your number so he can message you when he’s here?” Yoongi looked at you with pure excitement in his eyes.

“Yeah! That works. 7, right?”

“Yep. And don’t worry, I’m the most intimating one, seriously. The other six are puppies.”

“Okay,” you could let help but giggle. “I’ll see you in a little bit then. Do I need to wear anything fancy?”

“You’re so cute. No, it’s just a small concert. Wear whatever you’re comfortable in.” He chucked at your question.

“I don’t know. You’re draped in mystery. Maybe.. I don’t know.” You laughed together for quick second before Yoongi pulled you in for a hug.

“I have to get to sound check, then get ready. The car will drop you off backstage.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then.” His driver was now staring at the two of you, clearly getting impatient.

“I think you better go, or he may not come pick me up later.”

“You’re probably right. See you later.” And with a soft laugh, he climbed into the car, and took off.

You walked into your apartment tried to process everything that just happened. In the time the two of you had spent together, that was the first time he’d called you cute or hugged you. I mean, it’s not like you mined it, but you also couldn’t help but overthink the situation. You figured a shower and quick nap would help calm you down, so you did just that.

You woke up around 4:30, giving you more than enough time to change. You threw on an oversized sweater and swapped your leggings for some skinny jeans, threw your hair up in a bun, did some soft and natural makeup and topped the outfit off with your favorite doc martens. You still had about 20 minutes to kill, so you walked down to the cafe for a coffee, then sat outside waiting for the car.

7 pm on the dot, a black town car turned the corner. You stood up to start walking down to where he was going to pick you up, but he stopped in-front of the cafe.

You slid into the back of the car, said thank you, and headed off to the venue. You never really talked to the driver much the few times you had met him, plus you didn’t even know if he spoke any english, so you sat in the back reading the book you kept in your bag. It wasn’t long until you were being escorted from the car to the backstage area. Everything was starting to feel like a blur and a rush. Was this really happening? A guy you had known for maybe two months was inviting you to his concert?

You walked in, and suddenly felt underdressed and incredibly nervous. There was a room full of people all just staring at you, and you didn’t know a single face looking back at you.

Suddenly you heard a familiar voice coming up beside you, “Hey, kid.” It was Yoongi, looking completely different than how he did when you last saw him, or really from how you ever saw him. You were used to him in sweats and oversized t-shirt’s, beanies and usually a mask tucked below his chin. This Yoongi was in a suit, hair and makeup done, looking like a casual model.

“Hi. I’m.. Uh.. Sorry I’m not dressed better. I’m used to just, like, small bands and house shows. Like 200-300 people. And you said small show, so I figured, and—“

He cut you off with a hug. You don’t know why he chose to pick up that habit today, but you were complaining. He laughed as he felt you take a deep break into his chest. “Come on, I want you to meet the guys before we have to go out.”

He grabbed your hand and drug you over to a side of the room you didn’t notice when you walked in. There, sitting across 3 separate couches, were 4 other guys, all dressed similar to Yoongi, and all looking like they, too, were part time models.

Before you could even introduce yourself, a warm voice greeted you, “So you must be the famous y/n our hyung won’t shut up about. I’m Jimin.” A sweet hand reached out to greet you.

“Uh, yeah, I guess that’s me.” You nervously smiled as you felt color rush to your face. What did he tell them about you? How clumsy you were? How he felt bad you didn’t have any friends?

You thought was cut short. “Come sit down, we have around a half hour before we need to go out. We’ll see if your all you’re cracked up to be.” The comment was immediately followed by a laugh and a slap on the knee.

Yoongi leaned in to whisper in your ear, “Please don’t take Jin seriously. He thinks he’s funny.” His warm breath and deep voice sent chills down your spine. You were still in shock, so you just smiled, nodded and sat down.

“I have to say, I’ve known Yoongi for 5 years now. I’ve never seen him want to bring someone around us other than his family. You must be pretty special.”

“And that’s Namjoon. You’d think with an IQ of 148, he’d be a little smarter.” You could tell Yoongi was nervous, and you kind of liked seeing this side of him. He always seems so cool and collected on your walks, it was nice to know he was still a human under his cool exterior.

“Hi, uh. I’m y/n.” You waved for some reason, and instantly regretted it. You must have looked so dumb, here you are, clearly out of place and from the other side of the world, waving to people in the same room as you introduced yourself. You could feel your cheeks start to turn red. Suddenly you felt a hand caress your back, and you looked over to see Yoongi raise his eyebrows and mouth “You good?” You nodded.

“Okay, guys. I didn’t bring her here for an interrogation.  She’s new to Korea, and if I weren’t such a klutz, she’d still be alone in Korea.” You could hear him hold back his laugh at the bad joke he just made. “Now, let’s show her an actual good time, and not make her more nervous?” His hand still resting on your back, not low enough to make you uncomfortable but not high enough to be just friendly. Maybe you were just over reading the situation. Maybe he was just trying to make you comfortable. You mind was racing trying to process everything that had happened over the course of the last 12 hours.

Thankfully, another voice broke your racing mind. “Well any friend of Suga-hyung is a friend of me.” You couldn’t help but smile at the sweet smile from the man sitting across from you, before turning to Yoongi for clarification on who the hell Suga was.

“Suga?”

“Wait, you didn’t tell her that?” The same sweet smiling face from earlier, no rounded in surprise.

“Yeah, I guess it never came up. I don’t really introduce myself as Suga when I’m alone. Not all of us have the same name on and off the stage.”

“I do. I’m Jungkook!”

You smiled and said hi, then realized there were still two people sitting in chairs getting their hair finished. “Wait, how many are in the band?”

“Seven. Tae and Hobi are still getting their hair done, so you may not meet  them until after. They only look intermediating, they’re actually big softies.”

“I think I’m noticing a trend.”

“Boys, it’s time to go.” Namjoon quickly gathered everyone up.

“If you go over there, the stylist will take you to the side stage. They’re all super sweet, and I told them you were coming. Don’t believe any of the stories they tell you.” Yoongi smiled before removing his hand from your back and standing up to go off with the group and get ready for stage.

You walked over to a group of 3 women, obviously nervous, but as Yoongi promised, they were all super sweet. You all introduced yourself before walking over to an area labeled “staff”. There you were giving a giant sticker that said “VISITOR” before being allowed into the area. What you were told was a small show, was actually a small theater of about 800 people. “This is a small show?” You turned to the stylist.

“Yeah, they usually do arenas.”

Your mind was back to that racing place, and this time you felt your stomach drop. Who was your new friend? Everything had been so casual and just fun. You never even fathomed that he was an actual celebrity. Was that why he always had on a mask and hat? Was that why he came over to the cafe on your side of town? Because it was mostly older people and business people? You tried not to panic, but your mind was racing. You wanted to get out your phone and google “Suga” but you also didn’t want to get caught by the stylist. You tried to enjoy the show, but you were visibly shaken.

“He didn’t tell you about any of this?” His stylist leaned over during a break in the show without music.

You shook your head no.

“That’s so typical of him.” She laughed, easing your worry slightly. “They’re a lot bigger here in Korea than they are over seas, so any of the guys have trouble meeting people who don’t gawk over them. When you came in, and I saw you were foreign, I figured you didn’t know.”

“Yeah, he told me a show, I figured like a small band. That’s what I’m used to seeing in New York. A couple hundred people, max.” You we’re still nervous, but somehow calmed by the stylist words.

“They tend to be pretty tight knit, Yoongi is probably the most closed off to the outside out of all of them. Honestly, he’s the last one I would have figured for a plus one. But you got to know Yoongi, not Suga, so don’t let all of this cloud that for you.”

“No, definitely not. I mean, it’s a shock for sure. But The man on that stage is like watching a different person from the one I’ve been spending time with over the last few weeks. It’s nice to know he’s a real person outside of all of this, and know that side of him first.”

“He really is one of the best people I know. All seven of them are, truly, but Yoongi just has this calming attitude about him. I’ve been with them since pretty much the beginning, before they even had a show or an album, and you’re one the first people outside of family or pre-fame friends they’ve let into this world. He must see something pretty special in you.”

Before you could respond, there was a loud base thump, and the show started back up. There were only a few more song, and you were relieved because your stomach was growling.          As the boys all lined up for the final bow, you followed the rest of the staff back to the backstage area and waited for the boys.

“Hey! Just let me shower off and change, then we’ll go get some food. Just go back over to the couches, I’m sure Hobi and Jimin will be over there soon. They always like they sit for minute and cool before that change.”

You nodded your head and went back over the the couches, still kind of shaken by everything that just happened. You sat down, and before you could get your book out of you back, a hand reached out to shake yours.

“Hi. I’m Hoseok, but Yoongi probably called me J Hope or Hobi.”

You reached out to shake the hand, and look up to see one of the nicest and sweetest smiles you had ever seen in your life. “Hi, I’m y/n”

“I know. Suga has been talking about you for the last few weeks now.”

“Oh, I—“

“Don’t worry! It’s all good. He said you make really good art and tell funny jokes without trying. And you bought him hot pot.”

“He... He talked about that? I figured it was all embarrassing things.”

“Suga? Never. The only people he ever makes fun of are Jin and Jimin.”

“Oh.” You felt a smile taking over your face, completely out of your control. “I’ve really had a great time getting to know him, so I’m glad to hear he hasn’t been spending time with me just because he feels sorry for me.”

Hobi laughed and the two of you had light conversation for the next few minutes until Yoongi emerged back in the typical uniform you were used to seeing him in.

“You ready?”

“Yeah. Do we need to wait for the rest of the guys?” You remembered he said they usually all would go out after shows like this.

“No, I think it’s just the two of us tonight. Unless you’re too tired, I can take you home.”

“No! Not at all I’m starving!”

“Good, me too. Let’s go. My car is on the other side.”

“You drive?” You we’re shocked, all this time you’d only seen him with a driver.

“Yeah, I don’t like to that often, but I gave Hank the night off”

“Wait Hank. Your drivers name is Hank? I feel so bad! I didn’t say anything earlier, I just read my book on the way here. I didn't know if he spoke english, and I just...”

Yoongi could tell you were worried you’d upset the driver, and couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t worry. Hank doesn’t talk much. He was probably so relieved when you pulled out your book.”

“Okay. Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He couldn’t help but smile at you. “You’re so caring. It’s so cute.”

You felt a warm rush back to your cheeks again. There was that word again. I mean, this time he wasn’t directly calling you cute, but still. This was a whole different side than you’d been seeing. You didn’t mind it, it wasn’t like he wasn’t an attractive man, you just didn’t know if it was just how he talked or if you should read more into it. You tried to not let the thought consume you as you walked to his car with him. He opened the door for you before he walked over and got in the drivers seat.

“So, what sounds good?”

“I really liked the hotpot restaurant you took me when we first met. If you want that-“

“Say no more. I’m always in the mood for hotpot.”

You laughed at his eager response as he shifted the car into reverse to pull out of the parking garage.

“So, did you like the show?”

“Yeah, It was amazing. I guess I just wasn’t expecting something that big. You’re, like, really popular. And you’re all so talented.”

“Sorry I didn’t tell you about that sooner. I just didn’t want you to freak out and not come or something.”

“No! Don’t apologize. I had a really good talk with your stylist during the break.”

You could see his hand tighten on the gear shift, obviously nervous at what you may say next. “Hopefully all good?”

“Better than good.” You rested your hand on his on the gear shift. You figured you might as well shoot your shot. Try and figure out if he was flirting or just flirty. You tried not to smile when you saw him visibly gulp out of the corner of your eye.

“Since it’s Saturday night, they’re probably busy. Don’t worry, we can go in the back. I know the owner, and he always has a few private rooms ready upstairs.”

You nodded your head and he turned into an ally, pulling up to the back of what you assumed was a restaurant. “You’re lucky I trust you, or I would be a lot more suspicious about where we are right now.” Although it was dark, you could see his stoic face break into a warm smile.

“You don’t know, maybe I have a third name, and that one is a criminal.”

You both laughed out loud at the suggestion, and he shifted the car into park. You both got out of the car, and Yoongi draped an arm around your shoulders. “I would have opened your door, you know.”

“Maybe I wanted to get out and open yours this time.”

He smiled down at you before the two of you walked in through the back entrance of the restaurant into a storage room.

“Are you sure-“

Suddenly an older man greeted Yoongi with a warm embrace speaking only in Korean. The two of them exchanged a few words, of which you understood hello and table, then the two of you were lead upstairs to a much more intimate setting than the main dinning room you knew. You sat down in room clearly meant to seat no more than 7 or 8 people, as the older man bowed and left the room.

“That’s the owner. I’ve been coming here since I first moved to Souel. It’s the best hotpot in the city, seriously. I’ve tried them all.”

You smiled looking at the clean face you were more familiar with and smiled. You could tell he was nervous, but you weren’t sure what to say to make him relax.

“So that’s a small show, huh?” You instantly regretted it, but It was honestly just the first thing that came out of your mouth.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I just didn’t want you to get nervous or think something different of me. A lot of people who meet me, well any of us, tend to treat us different. I didn’t want you to look me up or not come after you found out what I really did. It was just...”

“It’s fine! Yoongi. I don’t care.” You reached out and grabbed his hand. This time, he took your hand between both of his, softly caressing the top of your hand with his thumb. “Your stylist explained a little bit, and after going to the show, I see  why you didn’t want to tell me. I probably wouldn’t have come if i knew Suga or BTS before. I would have been so terrified. I’m glad I know Yoongi.”

You could see his body relaxing as you talked. “You’re the first person I’ve met in the last two years who only knew me as Yoongi. It was just nice to have that again. No pressure to live up to a certain image.”He was still holding you hand, his eyes focused on his thumb making small circles on the top of it.

“Yoongi, the person I know, the person who I bumped into, the person who bought me a phone, the person who has talked about anything and everything with me, never been more than second late on Saturday mornings, that’s the person I’ve grown fond of. That’s the person I look forward to seeing every weekend, and that the person I came to support tonight.”

His eyes met yours with a soft gaze. “I have a confession.” You could feel your heart start to pound. What was he going to say? Was this Yoongi thing all an act? We he done spending time with me? “The guys all wanted to come tonight, but I told them the couldn’t.”

“Wh-what? Why?”

“I don’t... I haven’t... I...” You could tell he was struggling for the words, something you’d never see him do. He was usually so calm and collected. “I just needed to tell you something, and I didn’t think all the guys should be here. I mean they know, and they know why I wanted to bring you here. I just... I just haven’t done this since I was a kid.” He took a deep breath, and you could feel heart pounding so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. “I like you. Genuinely, 100%, haven’t felt this way about a person since I was kid type of feelings. After we started getting famous, I didn’t think I would ever be able to form just a genuine bond with someone like this again. And these last few weeks, between the coffee and the walks and the messages, I feel like I’m in school again. I just, I’m sorry to spring this all on you, I know it’s a lot. And if you don’t feel the same...”

You cut off his words by leaning over to give him a soft kiss on the cheek.

“How could I not share those feeling with you? In the short time we’ve known each other, you’ve treated me better than most of my friends, let alone any boyfriend I’ve ever had. I just didn’t want to say something, and have you think I was over reading your kindness. But the conversations we’ve had, we can talk about anything. It feels like I’ve known you for years.”

“Really?” His face lit up, leaning in for a more passionate peck this time. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Your moment was cut short by the food coming in.

“You remembered I cant have eggs.” You smiled as everything was sat down and there wasn’t even a smaller dish with eggs for him.

“Of corse. I can’t have you sick on our first date.”

“D-Date?” The word ignited a warmth in your stomach.

“Sorry, was that too forward? I know it’s not a proper date, and a little weird, but I just though...”

“No. I like it. Our first date.” You couldn’t help but smile. The rest of the meal was just the same conversation you’d always had, hobbies, family, favorite tv shows, everything. Nothing ever felt forced in conversation, the two of you just genuinely liked learning more about the other.

You finished up dinner, the stood up to leave. Before you left, Yoongi looked down at you and smiled.

“Do I have something on my face?” You started to lift you hand up to wipe your face when he let out a soft laugh.

“No, I’m just happy I can finally just study every part of your face without you thinking I’m weird.”

Your cheeks filled with color, as he smiled, grabbed your hand and led you back out to his car. He went to open the door for you, stopped to steal on more kiss before he did. “Seriously, You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted to do that.” He smiled as his face lingered in front of yours for a minute before he finally opened the door for you. You’re whole body was taken over with a warm glow, and you stomach filled with butterflies. Everything was starting to feel like a movie.

Once you got back out to the road, he started to head back to your apartment. You laced your fingers with his, and he pulled you hand up for a kiss before placing your laced fingers gently to rest on you lap. You just stared at him, watching the way his eyes lowered as he drove, the way they slightly squinted when he read a road sign.

“Do I have something on my face?” He asked with a smile, his eyes not leaving the road.

“No, I’m just happy I can finally just study every part of your face without you thinking I’m weird.”

“Ah, stealing my line, huh?” He smiled as his eyes still focused on the road.

“Maybe.” You both let out a soft laugh as the car turned on the your street. “You, if you want to I mean, You can come up for a glass of wine.”

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.” He parked the car along the street, before turning it off and leaning in for one more soft kiss before you both got out of the car and walked up to your front door.

You entered you apartment and immediately felt the urge to apologize for its lack luster appearance. “Sorry, it’s small and kind of plain. I really just have some pictures of my mom and my cat.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s perfect.”

You felt you cheeks begin to flush with color again. “Um, you can go sit on the couch, I’ll get the wine. Red or white?”

“Red. Unless you want white.”

“Red it is.”

You watched Yoongi walk over to the couch, and nervously rub his hands up and down his thighs. It was cute and also comforting to know you both were nervous as hell about this night that was turning into your first date.

You walked over with a bottle of wine and two wine glasses, setting them in the coffee table. “I’m going to go take off my makeup real quick. You can put on a movie or something.”

He smiled and nodded at you as he reached for the wine bottle and began to pour wine in both glasses.

You came back out, and he looked at you, taking in every inch of you before you sat down on the couch. “You wear glasses?”

“Oh, yeah. I, uh, I usually wear contacts, but my eyes were hurting so I took them out.”

“I like the glasses. They’re cute.”

Your face once again flushed with color, Yoongi was good at making you blush. You sat down on the couch next to him, and he pulled you in closer with his arm wrapped over your shoulder.

“Oh, I forgot I was watching this earlier. We don’t have to watch it.” You we’re suddenly embarrassed at your favorite movie, Terminator 2, playing on the tv.

“Nope, I love this movie. I was shocked to see it paused when I turned in the TV. I didn’t take you for the action movie type.”

“Yeah, I pretty much only watch action and horror movies. This is my favorite movie.” You instantly regret the words you just said, feeling like a total nerd.

Yoongi smiled, placed a kissed on you head then rested his head on yours, softly combing his fingers through your hair. “I love it.”

You must have been more tired than you realized because suddenly you felt the sun peaking through your window onto your face. Your eyes fluttered open to realize that you and Yoongi had both fallen asleep watching the movie. You looked up and smiled at his sleeping face, then bushed his hair off his face, leading to a low hum from the chest you laying on.

“Good morning, beautiful.” His low and soft morning voice sounded so warm in your ears.

“Good morning, handsome. I hope you don’t get the wrong idea about me.” You let out small giggle as Yoongi’s hand rubbed you back softly. “I’ve never had a boy spend the night that wasn’t my boyfriend.”

“Hmmm. Boyfriend. Are you asking me to make things official” His sleep voice vibrated in his chest below your ear.

“I just mean... I’m not...” He cut you off with a laugh and a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“No, I like the sound of it. You being my girlfriend, no one else’s.” His hand still rubbing your back. “I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I really don’t want to loose you to someone else. So, do you want to make this official? Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

—————————

“I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I really don’t want to loose you to someone else. So, do you want to make this official? Do you want to be my girlfriend?”                

It’d been over five years since you said yes to that question, and you’d been happy you did everyday. By no means was it easy, and there were times you wanted to just give up, but Yoongi was the best thing that had ever happened to you.                

Over the last few years BTS had exploded, and they  couldn’t go anywhere without being noticed by people. Every year the comeback grew bigger, so the tours grew bigger and the time apart became longer and longer. You loved and respected your boyfriends work ethic, but it was also making it harder to spend time together.                

The two of you had certainly survived more than most relationships. When your contract in Seoul was over, you moved back to New York, and the long distance was so hard. long distance in the same country is hard enough, but you were on opposite sides of the world? Miserable. Trying to find time to talk between you both working constantly was hard, but you made it work. The boys also came to New York a few times for different events, and you took 2 trips to Korea during the year.                

Around a year and half after you started dating, while you were in Korea for the new year, Yoongi suggested you moved in with him while laying in bed.                

“I know it’s so far away for you, but I can’t keep doing this. It kills me not being able to kiss you or hold you when I want to. I love you so much, it’s killing me only seeing you for a week or two at a time.”                

“Yoongi, what about work? I don’t have a job lined up here. There’s nothing more I want than to spend the rest of my life with you, but it’s just so sudden.”                

“You don’t need a job, let me take care of you. You can stay home and do your art. Make the guest room into an art studio. Please, I don’t need anything from you other than you.” He was getting emotional at the idea of you leaving in two days back to New York.                

“Yoongi... I ca—“              

“Don’t say you can’t because you know I can support you and take care of you. Make art on your own terms and sell it on your own terms. You don’t need to depend on your art to survive, and you don’t need to make art you don’t love ever again. I love you. I love you more than I thought I could ever love someone. Please, just think about it. Please.”                

You pulled your boyfriend to your chest in a tight hug as he tried to hold back tears. It wouldn’t be hard to move to Korea, really. You’d lived away from your family since you were in college, only seeing them on holidays for the last 6 years. You had more friends in Korea at this point than in New York. But it wasn’t that idea that scared you. You’d love nothing more than spending everyday like this, melted into one person with your boyfriend. But the idea of not working and just becoming dependent on someone, regardless of how minor it was for him, it wasn’t something you were used to. You’d lived alone and supported yourself since you were 18. That was the last 8 years of your life. And now you have this man wanting to give you the world, and you were considering saying no?                

You must have contemplated the decision longer than you thought because you went to tell him you wanted to move, and he was asleep on your chest. In a weird way, you were happy he was asleep and you couldn’t tell him. This moment just confirmed that he was your person, and this was where you were supposed to be.                

The morning after he suggested you move to Korea, you woke up to an empty bed. You were slightly confused, you didn’t remember him saying he had to go to the studio, but you also wouldn’t be surprised if he forgot.                

You walked out to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and there he was, making you breakfast. He’d even gotten vegan eggs for you.                

“So, are you going to make me breakfast every morning when I move in, or is this just you trying to butter me up?                

He turned around to tell you good morning, but then he suddenly realized what you had just said. “Wait... are you serious?”                

“Yeah. I wanted to tell you last night, but you were already asleep. I hurts too much to leave, I can’t keep doing it. You’re my now and my future. It’s going to take some adjustments, but like you said, I can make art and sell it. That’s what I’ve want to do since i was a kid. So to not only have the love of my life want me to spend everyday with him, but to have him support me and encourage me to do what I love? You’re almost too good to be true sometimes.”                

He left the food on the oven, and wrapped you up in a tight embrace. “I just wanted to make you breakfast because it was your last morning with me. But if you want breakfast in bed every morning, I will make you breakfast until I can’t stand up anymore. What ever you want, for the rest of your life, I will give it to you.” He covered your face with soft kisses.                

“All I want forever is you.” You leaned into a kiss, this time feeling a little sweeter than usual. “I’ll start figuring everything out once I get back to New York.”                

“Are you sure? Because I know this is what I want. I would have asked you to move in before you even moved back to New York when we started dating if I didn’t think it would have freaked you out.”                

You laughed at the idea. “Yeah, you’re right. I definitely would have freaked out. But there’s nothing more I want in life now.”                

He continued to kiss you, your cheeks, your forehead, your neck, your fingers, you hands, just showering you in the sweetest and softest moments of pure joy. “I think I can move somethings around and come back with you to the city. Help you pack, get documents, tell your boss you quit. Whatever.”                

“I don’t think I can get this handled in just a week. The visa process alone can be like 90 days.”                

“Well, at least turn in your resignation when you get back. So you can start moving things until your visa gets approved. I’ll get you added on my bank account and credit cards before you leave. You can use them to pay for everything.”                

“Are you sure? I have money. I have enough in my saving to live for six months without working.”                

“Then keep it there. Or invest it. Please, this was my idea, you’re moving half way around the world for me. Let me take care of everything.” His face was so soft and sweet, you couldn’t believe this was the man that was in love with you. That wanted to be with you. That would do anything for you.                

It took 6 months to get everything finalized for the move. And man, did those six months feel like forever. By some weird twist of fate, the paper work came through and the everything was finished on your two year anniversary. Yoongi was in New York with you for a few days to celebrate.                

You’d spent weeks trying to find the perfect gift, and somehow, fate led to it falling into your lap. So that morning, you snuck out while he was still sleeping to go get a card and print off the email to put inside. When you got home, he was just starting to stir in bed.                

“Come back.” His morning voice always made you smile.                

“Give me 2 minutes. I’ve got something for you.”                

“Mmm. I don’t need anything but you. Come back, I’m cold.”                

“Trust me, you’ll want this.” You quickly folded up the printed email, signed the card and stuffed everything into the envelope, before crawling back into your boyfriends arms. “Here.”

He rubbed his eyes, before taking the card and giving you a nearly missed sleepy kiss. “What’s this?”                

“Just open it.”                

He shifted his weight to sit up a little more, and opened the card. He chuckled at the stupid little card you got him. The two of you had a history of getting the dumbest cards you could find, and this was no different. But it wasn’t about the card, it was about that piece of paper in the card. He unfolded it, and as he read it, his eyes tripled in size. “Wait, is this... Is this real? Everything is done? You can move?”                

You nodded your head as Yoongi buried his face into you neck and began to cry.                 “Why are you crying? I thought you would be happy?”

“These last six months have been the hardest. From all the struggles and the long distance, and just waiting for you to come be with me. And now it’s happening. This gets to be my everyday. Forever.”                

You felt the tears starting to swell in your eyes as you listened to his words. It had been hard being apart for so long, but to know it would soon be over, that was the best feeling in the world. You combed your fingers through your boyfriends hair, and the tears slowly turned to kisses.                

“So this is real? We’re really doing this?” You knew it’s would make Yoongi laugh, and he quickly flipped you over, pouncing like a cat pounces on its prey.                

“You’re stuck with me now, kid.” That morning quickly became afternoon, and you missed your dinner reservations that night.                

So, now, here you were. Dating a member of the most popular Boy Group in the world. You’d been living together for nearly 3 years now, and the bliss never seemed to end.                

Everyone told you the honeymoon phase would end, or how hard it would be dating someone with his job, but it just worked for the two of you. You had a mutual understanding of each other’s limits and needs, and he truly was your best friend and your boyfriend.                

You both were so comfortable with each other, you could just sit in the same room and say nothing, but be happy. And you did that a lot. He’d watch you paint, and you’d watch him mix music. You’d lay on the couch together and read books the other picked out. Even just laying in bed together, scrolling through your phones together, it was all just comfortable and felt right.                

So now, you laid in bed with your boyfriend of over 5 years, just paying with his hair as he lay asleep beside you. You loved these little moments with him more than anything. Life had become so hectic over the last few years, but moments like this reminded you why you feel in love with him. Whenever he started to stir awake, he would always pull you in closer to his body, and today was no acceptation.                

“Mmmmm.” Am arm reached out and wrapped around your waist, pulling you in closer to his chest.

You let out a soft giggle as you rested your head on his chest. “We can’t stay here forever, kid.”

“Shhhh. Just five more minutes.” He nestled his head on top of yours.

“But it’s Saturday. You know what that means.” Somehow, through all the chaos and the fame, the two of you always took a Saturday morning walk. No matter the city, no matter the schedule, even if it was walking to the hotel lobby to get a coffee and walk back to the room, the only time you’d missed a Saturday was when you lived apart.

“The side walk will still be there in fine minutes. I just want this for five more minutes.” His hands softly rubbing your back as you drew shapes on his stomach with you finger.

“Fine. But any longer, and you’re buying coffee this week.”

“I’ll buy the coffee shop if that means we can stay here forever.” He somehow hugged you even tighter, still sending that same rush through your body that you got the first time he kissed you.

Five minutes came and past, but you’d both managed to fall back asleep for another hour. This time, you were woken up by a cold nose pressing your face.

“Okay, the kids need to go out. It’s time to get up.” You sat up and gave the two dogs laying beside you good morning kisses. When you moved to Korea, you brought your cat, Yoongi already had Holly, and after months of torture, the two of you adopted a second dog. Of course, that led to a second cat about 6 months later because your cat couldn’t be without a friend, and your bed now being occupied by 4 pets you both referred to as your children.

“Fine, Fine. Let’s go. But walk, then coffee today? I’ll make it.” Yoongi sat up, hair a mess and eyes still closed, but still just as perfect as ever.

“Okay, I’ll get the kids ready for their walk, you get the water?” You leaned over to kiss his cheek, leading to a soft hum and eyes slightly opened.

“One more?” You kissed his other cheek, opening his eyes a little more. “Okay, now one more?” You gave him one more kiss as you laughed, then stood up.

“Okay, kid. Let’s go. We can stay right here, just go around the building a few times. Then you’re making coffee.” You walked out to then entry room to get harnesses and leashes on the dogs, put on your shoes and wait for your boyfriend to get his. “Yoongs? You moving?”

“I’m here, I’m here. I had to get water.” He shuffled into the entry, eyes still half closed and water bottles in both hands. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Slip on some shoes, or you're making coffee and cleaning up the accident.”

He let out a groan that made you laugh out loud, slipped on some sandals, and followed behind you as you led the dogs out the door.

You’re walks weren’t nearly as talkative as the used to be, but you still loved them just as much. It usually consisted of going to the dog park outside your building, you chasing the dogs for 30 minutes and him laughing and recording it. Today, even the dogs seems extra sleepy, so you just took a little longer of a walk, then all headed back home.

You walked back in, and while Yoongi made coffee and a light breakfast, you got breakfast ready for your babies.

“So you know what today is?” Yoongi sat down a coffee and bowl of oatmeal in front of you.

“Hmmmm. Saturday?” You pretended like you didn’t know what today way, but you were fully aware. It was 2000 days since he asked you out. You’d managed to hide a card in the front pocket of your hoodie, and had it waiting for him when he sat down.

“And here I thought you forgot. You always amaze me, kid.” He opened the card and laughed at the stupid joke the bear on the front made. Inside was a picture of a painting you’d been working on of the two of you. “How’d you keep this hidden from me?” He studied the image before leaning in to a deep kiss.

“I have my ways. And Kookie is also a hopeless romantic with a half empty apartment, so he let me steal a room for a few weeks. We can go over and get it when ever you want.”

He leaned in for one more sweet kiss, “It’s so beautiful. I know just the place for it in my studio. Thank you. You’re amazing.” He kissed you one more time before he stood up. “Now wait here. I have something for you.”

He walked down the hallway and turned into the guest room. You had no idea what he was hiding or planning. Suddenly, he reappeared, holding what looked like a dvd case in wrapping paper. “Here.”

“You took the gift and unwrapped it to reveal it was a Terminator Two dvd. You couldn’t help but laugh. “We don’t even have a dvd player, plus we have it downloaded to the tv.”

“Just open it.”

“What?”

“Open it.”

You looked at your boyfriend confused, but followed his instructions. There, inside the case in place of a dvd, was a ring. Not just any ring, it was an absolutely beautiful opal ring, set by two diamonds on either side.

“Well, kid? Let’s make it official.” You looked up from the ring to see your boyfriend now kneeling in front of you on one knee.

The tears were filling your eyes, and you couldn’t even get any words out. You just nodded your head. He then slipped the ring on you finger, stood up and pulled you into the tightest huh you’d ever shared. You could feel him start to cry on you shoulder as the two of you just stood there, holding each other so tight you may just become one person.

After a few minutes, you both got two a point of where you could talk same, and the first thing he did was ask you if you were sure.

“Are you sure? Because I don’t want you to feel any pressure or anything. I know we’ve both said were fine with not getting married, and this doe-“

You cut him off with a kiss that made him melt into you. “Have you ever known me to mix words?” You took his face in you hand, “Do you think I would move to the other side of the world, bring my child, adopt two more babies with you and put up with your schedule if I didn’t want this? If I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with you? I always told you I just wanted you. That’s it, for the rest of my life. This is just the perfect reminder of that. But I want you. Everything could end tomorrow, we could go back to working 9-5 jobs, and I’d still want nothing but you.”

He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in for a deep and long kiss. He then just studied your face for a minute before he said anything. “You know, I’ve spent 2000 studying this face, and Instill find things to love. I’ve spent 2000 days with your heart and your mind and your soul, and I never run out of things to love about you. From the freckles on your forehead, to the scar on your pinky. The mole on your shoulder, the way your knees turn in when you stand. The scar on your knee from falling in first grade, the way your left pinky is crooked from breaking it when you were 6. The way your hair curls when it rains, the color your eyes turn during golden hour. The way you know the constellations and drag me out of the city to see meteor showers. I even love when you crack you toes. The way you hum as you’re falling asleep, and you ears raise when you smile. How one dimple is deeper than the other, I know you think you only have one, but the second one just hides until you have a full body laugh. When you’re painting, you always forget you have paint on you hands and fix your hair, getting paint on your face and in your hair. I could fill encyclopedias about the things I love about you. I want to spend this life, and every other life with you.”

You’re eyes filled with tears again listening to everything he said. He truly knew you better than you knew yourself. “You’re so amazing and perfect. How’d I get so lucky?” You snuck in about her kiss before sitting back down to study your ring.

“Well, thankfully, you’re a pretty clumsy person.” He sat back down talking your left hand with both of his, studying the ring on our finger. “But I want to tell you about the ring. Because this has been a few months in the making.”

“What?” You looked up at him with rounded eyes, confused by the statement.

“Well, I wasn’t about to let you wear a ring someone else my have. Everything about this is custom. Even the stones. Remember when I took that trip to LA for recording?”

You nodded your head, still confused about what he was talking about.

“Well, I went to the US, but I didn’t go to California. I went to Ohio. The diamonds are from your  Grandma’s original wedding ring. And the chrysoprase, I know you’re not into diamond, so I wasn’t about to get you a big Diamond. But your mom said you loved it and she said it was your dad’s grandmothers necklace. That it was the only piece of jewelry she had when the immigrated during the war.”

Your eyes filled with tears all over again, you knew the ring and necklace he was talking about. Your mom had them in her safe at her house along with some other small things that had been passed down to you. “You really did all of this for me?”

“I know i could have bought you a ring, or even made some big fancy ring with a jeweler, but I know  that’s not you. I started talking to you mom about it a year ago, asking what she thought, and she told me there was some old family jewelry if I wanted to look thought it. I saw the necklace, and I knew it was perfect. She suggested the diamonds from your grandmas ring, that you loved that ring. She also told me if you were going to wear it everyday, it couldn’t be too big, or you’d go crazy. I wanted to do some big date, or some special vacation, but that’s not us. I’ve had the ring for a few months, just trying to figure out what to do and last night it hit me. I couldn’t just keep it forever. I watched you sleep, with all of the kids down at our feet, and this is the family and the life I want for the rest of my life. Then I thought I would do it at dinner tonight, or I could sneak out and get flowers, or I’d take you on some romantic moon lit walk, but watching you kiss the dogs. Then seeing that painting. I think if I waiting any longer, I would explode. Sorry it wasn’t some big grand gesture, but I didn’t want a box. And I knew the movie would throw you off.” You could tell he was getting emotional talking about everything, so you cut him off.

“I love you so much it should be illegal.” Your eyes still filled with tears, over flowing on to your cheeks. “Now let’s call my mom and tell her.”

“Hold on. One last thing.” He stood up and took your hand, leading you over to the couch. “Let’s just enjoy this one little moment, just us.” He sat down, pulling you on to his lap. He studied your face for a minute before saying anything again. “I just want to study the face of my fiancé.”

Legacy - Chapter 9

Legacy: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x  F!Reader

Word Count:  2185

Rating:  E

Square filled:   @clintbartonbingo - Free Space

Warnings:  Pregnancy, domestic abuse, post-endgame, angst, developing-relationship, hurt/comfort, smut, Laura and Clint have broken up.  Comic Clint/MCU Clint mix.

Synopsis: Nothing is the same after the events of Endgame.  When Clint has trouble returning to a life where his family hasn’t changed but he has lost everything, he moves back to the city and tries to move on as a single parent. When Nate finds you bruised and pregnant in the stairwell of his building, he decides that there might be another way that he can make Nat’s sacrifice worth something.

Chapter 9

You had fallen asleep not long after you’d been moved to your maternity room.  It was a nice room.  Clint putting you on his health insurance meant you got the best.  No point risking your life all the time if there weren’t some perks.  It had a queen-sized bed.  A proper bed too.  Not just one of those uncomfortable hospital ones with the wheels.  There was a comfortable chair specially designed for breastfeeding.  A couch for visitors.  A big screen tv.  There was a private bathroom that even had a spa, though Clint didn’t quite understand who would want to actually stew in a pool of still water after they’d given birth.

After they’d brought you back to the room you’d fretted about the baby for a while and then passed out exhausted.  He’d napped with you, curled around you protectively.  It had been a long day and he was exhausted after everything.

He didn’t sleep deeply and woke just a few hours later.  He wasn’t sure what exactly was keeping him awake.  Perhaps he was just worried about you and wanted to be awake to take care of you if he needed it.  Maybe it was that the baby wasn’t in the room with you both.  When Laura had given birth Nate he’d just been left with them.  Now he had a new baby and they just weren't here.

He got up and went to the hall.  It was busier out there with nursing staff moving around, babies crying, people taking little walks, flowers and teddy bears being delivered, and visitors coming to take a look at the new member of their family.  Clint made a few phone calls.  He called Laura first to check she made it to the kids okay and to let her know the baby was here. He spoke to the kids and told them about their new sister.  Then he called Kate to let her know too.  Finally, he rang Pepper.  You technically weren’t supposed to start your maternity leave for another week and while Pepper was way, way up the chain for who would actually be affected by you not showing up, he thought she might like to hear about the new baby Avenger.  He then texted some of the others to let them know too.  As soon as he did his phone began to buzz with congratulations.

It was touching that they cared really.  That even though the new baby wasn’t technically his, they were all on board with the idea that this baby was his.  That after all the death in the world they’d had to mourn, now they had a new life to celebrate.

After he’d made the calls he went for a short walk.  First to check on the baby.  She was so tiny and fragile looking as she slept in her incubator.  With what he knew about the Universe he hoped he was strong enough to protector her.  Or at least strong enough to know that sometimes you couldn’t and she’d have to live her own life too.  He ran his hand down her back and felt the small rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

“You get big and strong, little one.  We want to take you home as soon as we can.”  He whispered.

After visiting with her he went for a walk to the cafeteria, grabbing himself a coffee and a danish.  He wanted to bring you back something too but was worried you might not be allowed to drink coffee yet and he also didn’t want to wake you.  So he grabbed a bottle of Snapple and a danish for you too before heading back upstairs.

There was a large edible arrangement sitting at the door with a big pink plush duck sitting on top.  He looked at the card and saw it was from Pepper.  He was glad that he’d organized those few playdates with Pepper.  It was good seeing Morgan and Nate playing together and he wanted to keep that bond with Pepper now that Tony was gone.  It was too easy to put those things off until the people in your life you considered your family were just a bunch of strangers you tell people are your friends.  They’d all been through too much and lost too much to let that happen.  He and Pepper had lost more than anyone.

He scooped it up and carried it inside the room, finding you sitting up in bed looking at your phone.  “There you are.  I was about to text you.”  You said.

“Sorry,”  Clint said sheepishly.  “Didn’t mean to worry you.  Just thought I’d check on the baby.”

“Who’s that from?”  You asked indicating to the bouquet made from chocolates.

“Pepper sent it.  Cool, huh?”  He said putting it on the ledge behind the bed.  “Got you a drink and a danish too.”  He added plopping both in your lap and kissing you on the top of your head.

“It’s awesome.”  You said.  “How’s bubs?”

“She seems fine.  Tiny but some of the babies in there are hooked up to a bunch of things, she’s not.  So I take that as a good sign.”  He said.

You smiled and took a swig from the bottle before dragging over a pile of paperwork.  “Nurse dropped this off while you were gone. It’s the birth certificate stuff.  You sure you want to go on this.  I can keep the name blank.”

“Will you stop that?”  Clint said.  “I don’t want her to think my involvement in her life comes with conditions.  Okay?  I’m her dad.”

You curled into his side and grabbed a pen, writing in Clinton Francis Barton under father.  You let out a breath when you did and turned your head up to look at him.  He leaned in and kissed you deeply, his thumb caressing your neck as his lips moved with yours.

You pulled back and tapped your pen on the form.  “So just the name then.”

“You didn’t have any names you’d talked about before?”  He asked.

“I never talked to Richard about them.  When I was a kid I guess I had some favorites.”  You said.  “I just… is it weird that I want to pay tribute to your friends?  Natasha particularly.  It feels like she’s the reason why we’re together.”

Clint let out a soft breath, tears pricking his eyes.  “Nat was always setting me up with people.”  He said.  “Still doing it, huh?”

You smiled and nuzzled into him.  “Feels that way.”  You said.  “The problem is having a Nat and a Nate would be a little confusing.”

“Her middle name was Alianova,”  Clint said.  “Maybe we could do something with that?”

You pulled out your phone and started typing into it.  “Huh.  This says that means her dad’s name was Alian.”

Clint furrowed his brow.  “That’s weird.  Red Skull said it was Ivan.”  He shook his head like he was trying to clear it.  He hated thinking about that moment.  Where he’d gone from being excited about flying an actual spaceship with his best friend, on his way to get his kids back to having to watch her die.  It didn’t matter what her father’s name was anyway.  She never knew who it was.

“Ali could be nice.”  You said.

“That’s normally short for something though.  What would it be short for?”  He said.

“It doesn’t have to be.  There’s a kid in New Zealand named ‘Number 16 Bus Shelter’.  I don’t think there’s anything stopping us from just calling her just Ali.”  You said.

Clint choked.  “That can’t be true.”

“It is!  So… what do you think?”   You said.

“About the name ‘Number 16 Bus Shelter’?  It’s a bit long.”  Clint teased.

You laughed and elbowed him.  “No.”

“If we’re just gonna give her a shortened name, why not Tasha?”  Clint said.

You looked back up at him and smiled.  “Tasha is good.  Works better with Antonia as a middle name too.”

Clint pulled you tight and kissed you again, holding you close.  He pulled back and looked down at you.  “I love you so fucking much, you know?”

“I love you too.”  You said, resting your head on his shoulder.  “So that’s what it is?  Tasha Antonia Barton?”

“Barton too?”  He said.

You pulled back from him pulling the papers closer.  “Shit.  Sorry.  I went too far, didn’t I?  It can be my name.”

Clint put his hand on yours.  It was scary really, but for some reason, he wasn’t second-guessing this at all.  “No.  I’d love for her to be a Barton.”

You kissed his cheek and filled in the name.  “Alright, you just gotta sign it and then we send it off.  Then that’s it.  She’ll have her name and you’re officially her dad.”

“Good,”  Clint said.  “We should do that right away then.”

There was a knock at the door and Laura peeked her head in.  “You up for visitors?”

“Sure.”  You said and she pushed the door open more letting in Cooper, Lila and Nate.

“We just finished naming her,”  Clint said as Nate climbed up into his lap.

“What did you choose?”  Lila asked as she put the large bouquet of sunflowers next to the edible one from Pepper.

“Tasha Antonia Barton,”  Clint said.  He noticed a look from Laura but he wasn’t quite sure what it was.  Surprise maybe.  She didn’t say anything though and he didn’t want to chase it.

“Where is she, daddy?”  Nate asked.

“She is very little and needs a bit of extra care so the doctors have her in a special room.  Do you want to go see her?”   Clint asked.

“Yes please, dad,”  Lila said.

Clint got up, lifting Nate onto his hip and pulling Lila into a headlock and kissing the top of her head.  “Alright, come on.  Are you coming to, hun?”

You got up out of the bed and pulled a robe on.  “Yes.  I might see if I can feed her.”

Your little group made your way down to the NICU.  When you got there the kids were looked over by a nurse, made to wash their hands and you were all led in.  “Here’s your little sister, Tasha,”  Clint said when they got to the incubator.

“What’s the fings for, daddy?”  Nate asked pointing at the wires that were attached to her.

“Just keeping track of her heart because she’s so small,”  Clint said.

“She’s really beautiful.  Congratulations.”  Laura said giving you a rub on the back.

“Thank you, Laura.”  You replied.

“Can we touch her?”  Lila asked.

“Yes, but gently just on her back,”  Clint said.

Each of the kids took turns putting a hand on her back and then Clint, Laura, and the kids were led out while you stayed behind and they put her against your chest to attempt breastfeeding.

Clint and Laura stood watching from the viewing window as you had Tasha tucked in under your shirt.  Laura sent the kids down to the vending machine in an attempt to stop them from getting bored.

“Did I tell you how proud I am of you?”  Laura said putting his arm around Clint’s waist.

Clint put his arm around her shoulder and she tucked herself into his side.  Something she had done a million times before.  “Yeah?”  He said.

“Yeah.  You've really stepped up.  You've always been such a good dad.  This is gonna be no different.”  She said.  “Nat would be proud of you too.”

“I hope so.”  He said, keeping his eyes trained on you.

“When Damien was killed, I didn't think I'd ever fall in love again.  Especially not with another SHIELD agent.  Then Nat pushed you at me, and you were such a huge dork but so good.  Not perfect but good.  You never pushed me faster than I could go.  You were always worried about us getting hurt.  Not just me, but the kids too.  I fell in love with you, and the kids did too in their own way.  When they asked if you'd adopt them you didn't even hesitate when you said yes.”  Laura said, wiping her eyes.

Clint felt his heart stutter a little and guilt start to creep in, guilt for everything that went wrong that meant he was not the man that could hold that together anymore.  His arm tightened around her shoulders.  She patted his stomach reassuringly and looked up at him.  “No one predicted the blip.  It's not your fault we couldn't last it.  I'm really happy you've found love again though.  You deserve it.  It gives me hope too, that I might get it again too.  Things can be found after what happened.”

Clint turned and looked at her, frowning slightly.  “Of course you can.  You're amazing, Laur.  You'll get someone who deserves you.  Someone who will actually be around.”

“I hope so.”  She said and leaned up and kissed him. “Congratulations, Clint.  She's beautiful.  You are going to be really happy”

Clint looked back in at you, and for the first time in a long time, he didn't doubt that at all.

// NEXT

iPhone 12 Pro Max - impressions

New Post has been published on https://kiari.com/2020/11/iphone-12-pro-max-impressions/

iPhone 12 Pro Max - impressions

Yes, I have a new phone! At this writing, I’ve had it for about a week and boy, do I have some things to say about it.

First off, I LOVE IT. Second, it’s MASSIVE. Third, it’s expensive. Fourth, the PHOTOS ARE AMAZING. Fifth, read on for my regular person, non-expert review.

IPHONE 12 PRO MAX REVIEW

Specs on mine model: iPhone 12 Pro Max color: Pacific Blue storage: 512 GB

more info: https://www.apple.com/iphone-12-pro/specs/

iPhone 12 Pro Max, just opened

first impressions After rocking the smaller iPhone XS, it’s been a little strange going back to a larger phone. The 12 Pro Max is the biggest iPhone ever made and it’s taking me a bit of time to adjust. But oh, I’m adjusting. I waited the whole day on Friday the 13th for my phone to arrive and I was not disappointed.

I ordered the 512 GB Pacific Blue version and it’s GORGEOUS. Oh, and MASSIVE. The screen is so easy on the eyes and I’m finding that I don’t need my readers as much while using the phone (yes, getting old sucks). The phone is very responsive and my apps work as they should, maybe (probably) with a tad more zip.

I still had my XS on hand so I was able to basically clone my apps and many of my settings to the new phone. So I have a phone that is new and fast but also familiar with the placement of the apps and such. I’ll probably change things around when I’ve figured out more stuff but for now, having the familiar layout makes it easier to compare to the older phone.

camera I was TEMPTED by the iPhone 12 Pro but I wanted the best camera and the larger display. When the phones were announced, I told myself I could wait wait even as people I knew were buying the iPhone 12 Pro. I watched the tech reviews and asked myself if it was necessary to buy the biggest (and consequently most expensive phone). For me, the answer was yes. And I am very glad I waited.

The camera takes AMAZING photos. Coming from the XS, there’s a substantial leap when it comes to the camera and photo quality. The XS takes fantastic pictures but the 12 Pro Max shots are rather glorious. I really dig the ultra wide and the 2.5x zoom, which I did not have on the XS. It bums me a little that I didn’t have this phone when we went camping but I’ll get over it.

1.0 zoom

0.5x ultra wide zoom

2.5 x zoom

portrait mode, main camera

portrait mode, main camera 2.5x

battery I am going to try not to stress out about the battery, as I have in the past. I’m the kind who likes it at 100% for as long as possible but I know that’s not healthy for the phone. Or so I’ve read. I think I’ll just charge it here and there during the work day but not to take it to 100%. (Though it doesn’t look like I could take it to 100% if I wanted by plugging in to the computer. I think charging that way must be super slow.) Ideally, I wouldn’t charge it and maybe I can get myself trained to not micromanage the battery life. We shall see.

So far I went through one work day without charging it but the rest of the time, I’ve charged it for a couple of hours after lunch.

other stuff With my previous phone, I used an Otterbox case with a Popsocket on the back. I loved the convenience of that Popsocket but right now, I am just rocking an ESR case. After watching a scratch test, I went ahead and installed the screen protector that came with my case. So far, so good! But I do miss the Popsocket just a bit. I’m thinking of getting the Otterbox case with the Popsocket integrated into it. There’s a clear case so I can still show off the pretty Pacific Blue of my phone. For now, I think I’ll save the money and just use my ESR case and see how it goes without the Popsocket.

my phone in the ESR case… for now…

The Pro Max is a 5G enabled phone but good luck finding 5G! At this rate, 5G in your device is more about future proofing than actual practical use. That said, I did see that 5G on my phone when we were in Walnut Creek, coincidentally at the Apple Store. The speeds were all right, nothing too fancy. LTE works fast enough right now and unless you live in those cities that have actual 5G and your carrier has it enabled, I wouldn’t recommend buying a phone just because of 5G.

The Pro Max is expensive, especially in the configuration I purchased, but if you play your cards right (have a device to trade, find a deal), you can figure out a way to buy it. Is the extra money worth the bigger screen and better camera? For me, yes, absolutely. For you? Maybe not. But here’s some advice I heard from somewhere– when it’s time to buy a phone (or whatever device), buy the best one you can buy. To me, this means the newest and best equipped for my needs. I can justify the cost but maybe you can’t and that is cool. To each their own.

the iPhone 12 line up

I’ve held the iPhone 12 Pro and the iPhone 12 Mini and those two phones are pretty sweet. I love that there are so many choices in the iPhone line up and if you like iPhones, you can have whatever size you want. You really can’t go wrong with any of the iPhone 12 lineup (unless of course you just don’t like iPhones).

the iPhone 12 Mini does fit rather nicely in the hand

I should mention that I was also very seriously tempted by both the Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 5G and the Samsung Galaxy Z Fold2 5G. I was especially tempted by the Galaxy Z Fold2 5G after touching it at Best Buy. I really would have loved that phone but I think the technology and hardware are still too new for me to plunk down so much money. Maybe in two or three years, I will consider a switch back to Android. Then again, maybe in two or three years, Apple will have tried their hand at foldables.

parting words The iPhone 12 Pro Max is a huge phone and not for the faint of heart. If I didn’t care so much for having the best camera– however a small improvement over the next model– I would have probably gotten the iPhone 12 Pro. The 12 Pro Max is not for everyone but it’s definitely for me. I’m actually glad to be back on a large phone but I need to re-learn how to hold it so that I don’t drop it. So far, so good. (Fingers crossed!)

I can’t say I’ll miss the iPhone XS but I will say that we made some great memories. It was a great phone, the one I called “Your Grace.” We had great adventures, exchanged messages with lovely people, and took so many pictures and videos. Maybe I’ll miss the smaller feel of the device?

Thanks for the memories, iPhone XS

I recommend the iPhone 12 Pro Max if you like larger phones and iOS in general. For me, the phone is a definite upgrade from the XS so if you have that phone or older, the iPhone 12 line is certainly one to consider if you’re thinking of upgrading. The camera is amazing and the OS is zippy

Now I will post a few too many photos to show off the loveliness of the camera of the iPhone 12 Pro Max.

Can’t go wrong with Guinness…

portrait mode in the evening – WEAR YOUR MASK!

loving that ultra wide

stuff on my desk

autumn colors, using that ultra wide…

If you’d like to read my other regular person, non-expert reviews, you can find them as follows:

iPhone 5 review – https://kiari.com/2012/09/iphone-5-first-impressions/ iPhone 6 Plus review – https://kiari.com/2015/02/do-you-think-its-easy/ (bits and pieces) iPhone 7 Plus review – https://kiari.com/2017/03/twitl-week-ten-iphone-7-plus/ iPhone XS review – https://kiari.com/2018/10/twitl-week-forty-two-rockin-the-iphone-xs/

"You wake up crying in the night

And you feel this pain inside

You feel so lonely feel so weak

And you have no words to speak"

BlutEngel: Wonderland

...

“We are almost complete with the process we spoke of several days ago. You still wish to purchase a clone to serve as your daughter’s bodyguard?”

“That is exactly what I am saying.”

The Kaminoan was ready to decline such a request until they realized who they were talking to. Zora Atlantia, a man of the rare Melodie species. This senator was a powerful one as well as a good ally to have. He knew Padme Amidala well. He explained his daughter being a female Melodie as well as his daughter was often a target. She was trained in hand to hand combat but she was very easily distracted by trivial things and small matters. The fact that she was easy to trust, was a weakness that would easily get her into trouble. After an incident with a slaver, Zora was going to make sure she was protected. He groaned at the thought of his daughter becoming a slave and being sold to the highest bidder. It was enough to make him sick.

“One of our troopers was injured in battle after an incident with General Krell. Technically, he died for a moment before he was brought to us. We managed to bring him back. He is no longer able to go into actual combat but he would be perfect for a bodyguard position. He is still fit enough to fight and protect now that he is completely healed”

Zora nodded, “He would be perfect, if he is willing to take the job. But I must ask for his control chip to be removed. I need his full focus on the job at hand. I will pay extra for it to be done.”

"That can be arranged. We will speak with him and, if he agrees, we will remove the chip and send him your way if that is what you desire."

"Thank you for this."

The Kaminoan left the room, leaving Zora with the Jedi known as Obi-Wan Kenobi. The man was hard to read as he stood there studying the senator. The man's constant gaze was unnerving and Zora eventually turned his own attention to the extreme weather outside the window. The raindrops were so large, he swore the glass would break at times upon impact. Other than the current weather, Kamino wasn't a bad place.

At last, after two hours of silence the Jedi spoke, “You claim to be against slavery but you are buying a living being.”

“I know it is horrible, Master Jedi but I am willing to go to great lengths to protect my remaining daughter.” Zora sighed, “She wasn’t very thrilled with the idea of me buying a person either. But I want this clone to be free of what binds him to this war so he can fully focus on protecting her. He will not be mistreated in any way, you have my word.”

The energy the Jedi gave off relaxed after he said this. Zora Atlantia was true to his word, he always had been. Obi-Wan knew the man had to be desperate in order to come to Kamino and rearrange such a meeting on purchasing a clone. The news had shocked him at first but this man was paying a lot of credits and donating to the war efforts. Zora's people were allied with the Kaminoans, the two races had always stood together.

“As long as he is not mistreated, I suppose I will be content with it.” The two men made small talk for a few more hours until the door opened and Zora saw the chosen clone walk into the room. Obi-Wan motion to him with his hand, “Zora Atlantia, this is the one we call Waxer. He led a platoon of the 212th’s troopers before he was injured.”

Zora smiled, eagerly reaching out to shake Waxer’s hand. The clone seemed a bit uncomfortable at first but took it in a quick greeting before standing back at attention.

“Waxer, no need to be so formal. Not with me.” Zora chuckled, “It is so nice to meet you.”

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir.” Waxer spoke from behind his helmet.

The clone’s energy was positive and strong. He would do perfectly protecting his daughter, he could already tell. He had a good feeling about this one.

"After the chip is removed, how long will it take for him to recover?" Zora asked.

"Not long at all."

"Good, good. Waxer will you be ready to leave within the hour?"

Waxer nodded, "I'm ready when you are, sir."

…

The flight to the senator’s home was surprisingly pleasant. After he had been told he was being sold and all of his rights were being transferred to a senator, he expected the absolute worst. The Kaminoans never seemed to be for slavery but Obi-Wan explained that this man was a trustworthy one. He had gone through several long meetings and signed more than enough documents for Waxer to cut ties with the clone army and become much needed security for his daughter. Waxer supposed it was easy deciding to give up a clone who was no longer capable of going into combat, not to mention the chip being removed from his brain. Others in his position did not have such luck with their fates after being injured in a fight. He trusted Obi-Wan when he said he would be treated well, that he would be happy with the senator and his daughter. He watched the senator and studied him. His long brown hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. It was easy to see the man was strong as his muscles could be seen through the mesh sleeves of his clothing. Most politicians he had seen were rather scrawny so this was a change. He was very friendly and comfortable to be around just as Obi-Wan had promised.

The planet he was to live on from now on was a coastal, tropical one. The whole planet was covered in islands but was mostly ocean. The security in the perimeters of the homes were incredibly advanced. The weather was nice and the salty sea air smelled fresh. Everything about it was beautiful and, best of all, hidden. Zora had explained that his daughter had been refusing to leave her room for the past few weeks since the incident with the slaver on their trip to Coruscant. She was upset that her empathetic ways had almost forced her away from her father. Waxer was happy to meet the girl and become her protector after hearing about her.

“Did I mention she was twenty one?” Zora stopped before opening the door to the home.

Waxer had been expecting to become a babysitter for a child. Hearing the daughter was an adult threw him for a loop. Thank the force he wouldn't be dealing with an angry hormonal teenager, “Ah, no sir. You did not.”

“Forgive me. You probably thought I was going to have you being a nanny to a youngling or something. Though she can get into the headspace of one when under a lot of stress.” He chuckled, “But no, she is old enough to make her own decisions which is why I wanted someone to protect her. Our species has become… Endangered, if you will. I made a promise to have her protected at all costs after her two sisters passed on.”

Endangered, now the advanced security made sense. Waxer was led through the large mansion of a home while the senator spoke to him, “Can I ask how they passed away, sir?”

“They were victims of slavers. They both ended their lives when they realized there was no escape.” The senator stopped the tour of their home, his eyes looking down at the floor, “They always said they would be no one’s prisoners. I just never thought it would end with them being taken. That is why Marina is so upset she almost trusted the wrong person. She did trust the wrong person but came for help before it was too late. I hate to admit she has a short attention span quite often. She refuses to use her song as a weapon against anyone. It is her greatest strength yet she refuses to use it out of fear that someone may take it and use it through recordings.”

The emotions Waxer could feel radiating off the man were all of sadness and anxiety for his daughter, Marina. He could tell Zora loved his family and he would do anything to keep his remaining daughter safe from all harm. Waxer knew very little of the Melodie people but he did know the females had different songs that could be used to heal or hurt others. He also knew they had the ability to change shape in water.

“I swear on my life she will be protected, sir.” Waxer had never even met the woman but he felt this powerful urge to protect her after hearing everything that the family had been through. He just prayed she wasn’t the typical bratty rich daughter, he wasn’t sure he could deal with that sort of person. If she was anything like her father, she would be a very nice person to be around.

They made it to a locked door and Zora knocked on it before hitting a button on the screen beside the door, “Marina? Can I come in? I want to introduce you to your bodyguard.”

“I told you I didn’t agree with you buying someone like a slave.” Her melodic voice was heard from the speaker.

Zora almost looked defeated, “Please, Marina. I spoke to him and he would like to help. I wouldn’t have forced him to come here if he truly didn’t want to come.”

It was true, Waxer was ready for another adventure which was why he jumped at the chance when the opportunity was thrown his way. He knew if he stayed there after being injured, it wouldn’t be long before he was thrown to the side and left to die after being deemed useless to the clone army.

Waxer put a hand on Zora’s shoulder, “If I may, sir?”

“If you think you can convince her, you can try.”

He tapped the button and spoke, “It’s true I came here on my own after I was asked if I wanted to be the one he purchased. I would like to meet you, if that is alright.”

Silence. Then, the door opened. There stood a tall, slender woman with long brown hair and pale white skin. Her eyes were as blue as the ocean itself.

“You weren’t forced here?”

“No, ma’am.” He smiled behind his helmet, "I was asked to come and I am happy to be of service."

“Marina, this is Waxer. Your new bodyguard and protector.”

Marina gave Waxer a polite bow, “It’s nice to meet you, Waxer. I’m sorry I’m not in a very talkative mood at the moment.”

Before he could respond, she turned around and went back into her room. The door closed behind her but this time, it wasn’t locked as it was before.

Waxer was led to his own room which was located beside Marina’s. He supposed it made sense, he was her protector now. He was able to be close and get to her quickly this way. He didn’t have many belongings other than a few weapons and a photograph of him with his platoon, Boil by his side in the picture made him smile. There were fond memories with his best friend. It almost seemed unfair that he lived and Boil died. Zora had bid him farewell for the time being and Waxer sat alone on the bed, helmet in his hands after taking his armor off so he was in his blacks. So many questions ran through his head. How different would it be here? Would he eventually see this place as home? It felt like a comfortable place to call home. What if he couldn’t protect Marina in the end? Would he die protecting her? At least he had a task to focus on now.

“Um… Waxer?”

He turned to the soft voice in the doorway and saw Marina standing there, gazing at him with a pitiful expression. The helmet was placed on the bed and he stood at attention.

“No, please don’t do that.”

He relaxed and watched her walk into his room in a cautious manner. She was hesitant in her movements which was understandable. She didn’t know him yet but she seemed curious.

"Did you need something?"

“You don’t have any luggage…” She stated more to herself it seemed. When she looked up at him, he gently smiled at her, “I only have the things I need, the only things I’ve ever had.”

“But it’s hardly anything at all.” Marina’s expression morphed into one of concern, “Do they not allow you to have anything in the clone army?”

“It’s quite alright.” Waxer raised his hands in an attempt to calm her, “It’s nothing to be concerned about.”

Her eyes scanned the empty room, “Hold on one moment.”

She left in a hurry. Waxer shrugged it off and made his way to the window that overlooked the ocean. The warm water was so blue and the skies clear. The waves gently lapping at the sand were inviting. Perhaps he would be allowed to walk in the waves one day. He often wondered what long walks on the beach felt like and this place seemed perfect for such an activity.

“Here!” Waxer turned at Marina’s voice once again, seeing she had brought him a giant seashell. She placed it on the table beside the bed with a smile, “Now you have something else to call yours. This is a gift from me to you.”

This was something he had never really had before. Other than his gear and his photograph, he had never had anything that was considered a gift before. Did she have any idea how amazing this felt to receive a gift he was able to keep?

“I… Thank you, Marina.”

How was he supposed to act when receiving such a gift from someone? He never had this experience before, not something of this extent, anyway.

“You’re very welcome!”

“What’s going on here?”

Waxer turned to see Zora at the door. His first reaction was to feel anxious but he hadn’t done anything wrong.

The man had a smile on his face and looked very pleased, “Marina, this is the first time you have been out of your room in weeks! I take it you are feeling better?”

“I am a bit.” Though it was obvious she was nervous and still paranoid about everything that had happened, being around Waxer seemed to help her feel more at ease, “Can Waxer and I go for a walk?”

“Of course, dear. Just please be back before dark.”

“Mmkay.” Her hand took Waxer's and she led him through the hallways then outside, onto the sandy beach. She talked him into taking his boots off and leaving them beside hers at the dunes. Walking barefoot in the sand was new for him. It was a pleasant sensation feeling the sand on his feet and between his toes. He wasn’t so sure why Anakin hates sand so much. It was nice. Then came the waves touching his feet as he went ankle deep in the water.

“So Waxer, tell me about yourself.” She smiled.

“Hm, well. To be honest, there isn’t much to tell.” He nervously scratched the back of his head, “I was part of the clone troopers, led a platoon, and was badly injured. I had to have emergency surgery. Soon after, my best friend was killed… That’s basically it.”

“Oh, I'm so sorry."

"This is a new place and a new adventure. A new chapter, so to speak. This one promises to be a bit better."

"Weeell then. I hope you like it here, Waxer.”

“Thank you, it’s a beautiful place to be. The hot food and big soft bed will take some getting used to.” He chuckled.

Marina looked up at him, “Were the beds you slept in not comfortable?”

“Well, they were small single beds and rather hard but we were trained to sleep about anywhere without it bothering us. How about you? Tell me about yourself.”

“Well, Mom passed away after giving birth to me. I was the youngest out of the three. My two older sisters told me everything about her and Dad showed me recordings of her. I thought I was falling in love with this guy recently and after talking with him for months, we met up on Coruscant and things didn’t exactly go as planned. Dad heard me out when something about our date night plan didn’t seem right. He got help but it took forever to get him to leave me alone. After he was arrested for violating a restraining order, we were able to go back home. I’m thankful he couldn’t follow us.”

“Where is he now?”

“Gone forever, I hope. He was a terrible person. He wanted me to do harmful things to myself and refused to take no for an answer.”

Dread filled the clone’s stomach at her words, “He didn’t… Ra-”

“No. No, he didn’t. My lawyer said he had no doubt it would have led to that if I hadn’t reached out. They found out he was a slaver and all I could think was how things could have ended. He was absolutely terrifying and mentally abusive.”

“I’m sorry you went through such a thing.” He shook his head, “This seems like a terribly depressing subject for you. How about we talk about something different?”

“Mmkay!” She seemed a lot happier about changing the subject.

As they spoke to each other, Marina stopped dead in her tracks and changed the subject mid sentence. Her attention had been caught by a seashell half buried in the sand. Waxer could easily see what her father had meant when he said she was easily distracted. He didn’t see it as a problem as long as he was around to keep an eye on her. He was unable to deny how beautiful she was and he was thankful she wasn’t a spoiled rich brat as he had feared before meeting her. This woman was a breath of fresh air and wonderful to talk to. She had moments where she would seem to take on the mindset of a younger age when she was excited or anxious but he thought it was cute. He could deal with that. Though Waxer doubted anyone would get through the security perimeters to get into this place, he vowed to protect her at all costs.

The sun began to set and Waxer placed a hand on her back to lead her in turning around, "We should go back inside. Your father wanted you back in before dark."

She stood up and dusted the sand off of her light blue sundress, "Right! I almost forgot. Thank you for reminding me."

"Well, I'm here to keep you on track." He chuckled, "Let's go."

"Mmkay."

Once inside, she led Waxer to the dining room where her father had just finished making dinner with the cook who he soon learned was an elderly woman named Teresa. She was brought here long ago similar to how Waxer was. Only she had been purchased on Tatooine. Zora had brought her here to live with them. She wasn't a slave here and always had help from either him or Marina when it came to cooking. She was paid well and given a place to live in their home. Teresa had always been there since before Marina was born. Marina considered her a grandmother figure and always went to her for advice when she needed it. Whenever Marina was down, Teresa would tell her stories about her mother but after the slaver incident, even that didn't cheer her up.

"I'm so glad you came out of your room, Marina. I missed you while you were hiding yourself away." Teresa took Marina's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Marina gave a sad smile, "I'm sorry. I was just scared and felt like I needed to get my thoughts in order."

Teresa's white braided hair reached her hips and her kind green eyes sparkled when she spoke. She was pleasant to be around as well. She looked to Waxer and smiled, "You take good care of her now, you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, ma'am."

"Good, good." She looked him over, "I have seen wonderful visions of you."

"Huh?"

"Teresa can see visions of things that will happen in the future." Marina giggled, "She has seen good ones involving you."

"Good ones, indeed." Teresa stood to gather the plates but Marina jumped and grabbed them all before she could. They both went into the kitchen to wash the dishes and Zora sat with Waxer at the table.

The silence between them wasn't an uncomfortable one. It was rather nice sitting with someone he could consider a friend.

"Waxer, is everything in your quarters to your liking?"

Waxer looked up at Zora, "Oh! Yes, sir. It's very lovely here. Thank you."

"I'm glad." Zora smiled, "Feel free to come grab anything you want to eat at any time. This is your home now, you can explore the area and do as you wish as long as it's legal."

The clone chuckled, "Thank you, sir."

It was then when Marina walked out of the kitchen and gave her father a hug, "I'm going to go to bed now. I feel mentally exhausted."

"I thought you felt better?" Concern filled his eyes.

"I do. It's a good exhausted feeling." She gave him a kiss on his forehead then turned to Waxer, "Thank you for cheering me up."

"You're very welcome."

She left and Waxer felt a sort of pride at helping her mood brighten. Soon he decided to bid Zora farewell and go to his own room. Once he took his shirt off, he relaxed on the bed and closed his eyes, letting the sound of the ocean coming through the cracked window lure him to sleep.

Bad Things Come In Threes (Yut-Lung Lee x Reader)

It started that morning.

In an odd stroke of misfortune, your wedding band slipped off your finger and down the drain while you were in the shower. Your distraught cry as you desperately tried to fish it out had Yut-Lung running from the bedroom, ready to defend you with nothing but his bare hands.

When you explained what happened he simply chuckled, relieved that the problem wasn't something more serious, and said that he'd buy you a new one. At your half-hearted glare, he pulled you into him, naked, soaking, and upset, and soothed you the best he could, rubbing circles into the bare skin of your back and whispering sweet comforts in your ear.

Neither you nor he had ever been the kind of people to believe in superstition and he was quick to dismiss the occurrence, but you were obviously upset and a little unsettled. Thumb rubbing the paler, sensitive skin of your ring finger, your mind drifted at the lack of metal. Something didn't feel right and it was more than just the loss of your ring. The hairs on the back of your neck refused to lay flat and the muscles in your shoulders itched with tension.

You tried to shake it off, praying nothing else would happen that day...but the world doesn't always work the way we want it to.

"Do you have to go to work today?" you asked, as Yut-Lung slipped on his shoes and coat. "Whatever you have going on can wait, can't it?"

"I wish it could, but I have some important meetings to attend today," he sighed, bringing you into a hug. "Try not to worry too much, okay? I'll be back as soon as I can."

Before he could pull away you cupped his flawless face in your hands and kissed him hard, kissed him as if it would be the last time you kissed him. "Stay safe, okay?"

Leaning forward to press his forehead to yours, his dark eyes gazed into your own as he murmured, "I will." He took a deep breath in and out, the vulnerability on his face something he was willing to show to you alone. "I love you, (y/n)."

It took a massive amount of effort to unknit your furrowed brow and give him a smile. "I love you, too, Yut-Lung."

With a wink thrown over his shoulder, he was gone.

You stared at the door long after it had closed, pressure building in your throat and the sound of its shutting echoing through your mind. Lips barely parting, your next words escaped on a whisper.

"Come back to me..."

Your nervousness refused to abate as the day continued and you forced yourself to continue with your daily life. The slightest, most ordinary sound made you jump and you had to stop yourself from anxiously texting Yut-Lung every hour.

Maybe you were overreacting, but considering the nature of the cruel, underground world you and Yut-Lung lived in you thought your concerns were justified. If anything happened to Yut-Lung....

Your phone rang, startling you from your thoughts and almost making you drop the mug of tea in your hands. For a heartbeat you thought it was Yut-Lung, but looking at the contact you found it was a number you didn't recognize. "Hel-" Your greeting was abruptly cut off as an explosion from outside rocked the floor and made the windows bulge and crack. Tea and shards of ceramic spilled across the floor as your mug fell from the counter. Instinctively dropping low to the ground, you waited for bullets to shatter the windows, for hitmen or kidnappers to invade your home, but no further attack came.

"Are you still alive, Mrs. Lee?" a static-warped voice asked from the phone discarded on the floor nearby, its screen cracked. "There's much more of where that came from awaiting you and your vile family in the future." And the line went dead.

You did your best to appear calm as the guards rushed in, checking you over for injuries and escorting you to a safer location, but you couldn't control the shaking of your clenched fists or the trembling of your lip as the attacker's words ran through your mind.

"There's more of where that came from..."

"Notify my husband of what's happened immediately," you ordered, your firm, steady voice at odds with the mad beating of your heart.

"Yes, ma'am. Mr. Lee is being taken to a safe location as we speak."

Nodding, you faced forward, trying to calm your breathing. You desperately wished that Yut-Lung was there with you, but for now it was enough to know that he was safe.

Absentmindedly, your thumb strayed to your ring finger, rubbing the bare, vulnerable skin.

Warning bells blared in your mind. You'd been repeatedly assured that Yut-Lung had reached his destination safely and was under heavy guard, but it did nothing to quiet your growing fears. You needed to see him, to confirm with your own eyes that he was okay. Under direct orders from your husband, you weren't allowed to leave the safehouse you had been taken to, but you couldn't stand this any longer. You could feel it in your bones that something was very wrong, that the two bad occurrences that had taken place that day were about to be joined by a third.

It would be near impossible to sneak away from the guards and they had been given permission to physically restrain you if necessary, but you weren't about to let that stop you. When everything had reasonably settled down and your assigned protectors left you alone for a moment, you ducked away down a shadowed side corridor and stole a car from the garage.

What you were doing was reckless by all means, but you didn't care about the consequences right now. All you cared about was whether the love of your life was truly safe and unharmed.

Even though you were endangering yourself for the sake of a hunch, you prayed that you were wrong, prayed that everything was fine and that you were just going crazy. And as you approached the safehouse Yut-Lung was supposed to have been taken to, everything did seem fine, but you really should've known better.

A bullet hit one of your front tires just as half of the building before you exploded into flame. More bullets peppered the side of the vehicle, bouncing off of the reinforced glass as you tried to maintain control and managed to crash just behind the side of the building the wasn't currently burning. The car door opened and you recognized the Lee family's guards as you were unceremoniously dragged out of your seat and towards a side entrance. People were shouting and running around in disorder as you were practically carried down the hall. A gunshot sounded somewhere close by and your cheek stung, the guard that had been pulling you along dropping to the ground with a sickening thud.

Refusing to succumb to shock for even a heartbeat, you bolted, racing down in the hall in a mad dash for survival. You had barely rounded the corner before gunfire filled the previous hallway and you forced yourself to move faster.

Panic-filled moments went by and your heart beat painfully in your chest as you burst through the first door you saw, hoping that whoever was on the other side was a friend. Guns turned in your direction and a shout came to hold fire, but you didn't hear it over the roar in your ears, relief weakening your knees at the sight of the man before you. Blood seeped down your face from the graze on your cheek, mixing with tears, but you didn't care as you threw yourself into Yut-Lung's arms.

"(Y/n), what the hell are you doing here?!" he said harshly, his arms tight around you. You could tell he was angry, but it was an anger borne out of concern for your safety. "Why didn't you stay where it was safe?!"

"Sir! We've received word that the other safehouse has been attacked as well! And the teams that were deployed in the east wing have been overrun!"

"What?!"

A nearby explosion made the floor tremble and a protective arm wrapped around your waist as Yut-Lung pushed you behind him.

"We need to leave, now! Send word to fall back!"

"Yes, sir!"

"Goddamnit!" You heard your husband growl out from between clenched teeth as he ushered you towards the door, guards falling into formation around the two of you. The door opened and you were hustled out into the chaos, the sounds of combat and men in agony loud and relentless as the company turned a corner towards the back of the building and the bullet-proof vehicles parked there.

Men dropped, dead and dying, around you, but you forced yourself to keep moving, facing straight ahead and counting the steps until you and your loved one reached safety.

The two of you were close, oh so close, to making it out unscathed, but a third event to join the first two had yet to come and fate wouldn't have it any other way.

Guards covered you and Yut-Lung as you emerged from the safehouse and made your way towards a van. The back doors were opened and your husband's hand refused to leave yours as he pushed you in, following close behind you.

And that's when it happened.

In the heartbeat before Yut-Lung was able to fully get in the van a bullet somehow got through the barricade of guards, hitting the Chinese man directly in his side. If you had to describe what you felt in that moment, it was as if you had been shot too. Blinding emptiness and shock chased by incomparable pain, the kind that tears hearts open in an instant and drives even the most level-headed to madness. You didn't even register the scream that escaped your lips as Yut-Lung fell on top of you, his face twisted in agony. A few more guards jumped into the van, closing the doors and starting the engine. Someone was yelling something about a hospital, but you weren't listening, too focused on the life escaping your love.

What began that morning with the loss of your ring had come full circle.

A sticky warmth seeped through your fingers as you pressed them to your husband's stomach, desperately trying to staunch the blood. Your mind worked in desperate, adrenaline-driven bursts as you realized he wasn't breathing. Screaming for help, you started chest compressions, alternating between pressing on his abdomen and giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"Stay with me, Yut-Lung."

1...2...3...compressions and you pressed your mouth to his, breathing air into his lungs.

"Stay with me, my love."

1...2...3...more compressions and the process began again.

"Please, don't leave me!"

1......2......3......

A/N: I actually enjoyed writing this quite a bit. Banana Fish took my heart, lit it on fire, and threw it under a bus.XD 

I do not own Banana Fish or any of its characters. The plot, however, does belong to me.

Thank you for reading~!!!

Let’s Pretend: Three

Yoongi X Reader

Contains: Slight Angst, Comedy, Eventual Smut

Warnings: Implied Parental Bullying, Bullying, Yoongi being the sweetest (uwu!!)

Word Count: 3,543

A/N: Kinda long.

| One | Two | Three |

Yoongi held his stomach laughing, he’s going at it so hard he fell from his spot on the bed and onto the floor. We’ve been lying on his bed peacefully with me telling him about everything. All was going fine up until he heard me saying the nickname my mother had given me.

“It’s not that fun-“ Yoongi howled louder, cutting me off. I pursued my lips, fighting a smile my damn self. I’m not laughing with him, I just have this thing where I smile or laugh at someone else laughing or smiling.

His laughter turned into coughing, “See you’re gonna make yourself sick, will you stop already?”

“Somebody should have stopped your mother from giving you that nickname. Button!” He started up again.

“It’s a very common nickname!”

“On what planet?”

I threw one of his pillows at him. It didn’t phase him, he was laughing harder if that were even possible. A tomato with hair was what he had become, his face was so red. I suffered through his choking laughter for another 20 minutes. Once he was done he crawled back on the bed, still giggling to himself. “Okay, I’m done.”

“You sure?” I asked, agitated.

He nodded, a sly grin proudly plastered on his face. I rolled my eyes, “Aw don’t be mad, button.” He pinched my cheeks.

“Goodnight.” I headed for his door. He was starting up again. “No, I’m sorry!” He jumped up and barricaded himself between me and the door. “I won’t start laughing again, I’ll be good.”

“I don’t believe you, move.”

“I’m serious, I won’t. You don’t look like your family nickname would be Button. I’m was taken back a little, that’s all.”

“Well, it is,” I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back on his bed. Yoongi turned off the lights and got back on the bed with me.

“Why’d you turn the lights off?” I asked.

“It’s nearly midnight, you might as well sleep in here with me.” He laid next to me. Damn, we’ve been talking for that long? I looked over at the clock to see he was right, 11:45 his clock read. I nodded and got under the covers with him. I played with the strings on his hoodie. It was quiet for a minute until Yoongi spoke.

“I want you to know you really hurt me by not telling me about this sooner, I mean your own mother Y/N.”

“My intentions were never to hurt you Yoongi. It was a part of my life I wanted to forget, and didn’t want anyone worrying about it.”

“How’d that work out for you?” He sat up looking at me.

“Not so good. I never brought her up and to make sure no one else did so I said she was dead, I didn’t see the harm to until now. I’m really sorry. Please don’t be mad.” I pouted

“Not mad, just disappointed. I get it, after everything you told me tonight I could understand why you would choose to say she was dead, it was easier.”

“Wayyy easier.” I chuckled.

“Still a shitty thing for you to do.”

I pulled on the strings so his face would disappear behind the crumbled up hood. He still spoke, his mouth was the only thing I could see.

“What I don’t understand is how you nearly tackle me or one of the guys when we ever were having a personal issue and we show it, but when it comes to you-you don’t heed your own advice. Like you always say, we have the type of friendship where we can come to each other with anything no matter what,” He took his hood off, “or does that only apply when it’s your shoulder that’s being cried on?

He uncovered in time to see my nose twitching and I’m pretty sure he could hear my heavy breathing, stupid tears. Yoongi said no more. He gently tugged me into his warm embrace.

 I could smell the washing detergent in his clothes and the lotion he put on after his shower. It was comforting.

So comforting the urge to cry got stronger, my emotions got the best of me and before I knew it the dam broke. I was sobbing violently. Yoongi held me like new a born child, rocking me slightly.

He let me cry into his chest until I fell asleep. When he isn’t being a butthole he can be really sweet.

I woke up hours later, the sun was barely up. I didn’t need any light to let me know that Yoongi’s chest had been replaced with his face. I felt his breath tickling my nose when I woke up instead of the steady rhythm of his heart.

I took a moment to stare at his facial features, something I secretly did. I can’t help it, he resembles a sleeping princess waiting for his prince to awaken him with true loves first kiss. I gently touched one of his long eyelashes. He didn’t budge so I strummed my finger through the fine hairs, he moved when I did that.

I pulled away and waited for him to settle back down. “Note to self, go as Snow White for Halloween next years and make Yoongi be Snow White. I’ll be the Prince,” I mumbled to myself.

I got up quietly, trying not to wake him up. I crept to my room to change out of my clothes from yesterday. I settled for my Winnie The Pooh sweatshirt and some old sweats I had lying around my room. I went into the bathroom to wash my face of the dried tears and to brush my teeth. Hoesok, my co-worker would be coming by soon to pick up his phone he asked me to fix. He and his girlfriend were attempting to get a quickie in the alleyway at work one night and his phone fell from his pocket onto the pavement.

Why he doesn’t have a screen protector or phone case? Anyone’s guess is as good as mine. I made my way to the kitchen, I cut on the coffee maker and got to work.

Meanwhile...

“Are you sure everything is set up Tara, I don’t wanna get my hopes up again like last time.” Karen snared. Tara rolled her eyes, holding her phone in between her cheek and her shoulder.

She unscrewed the medicine cap off her one of pill bottles, “Trust me, everything will go as planned.”

Cordell walked in with a tray with a single glass of water sitting in the middle of it.

“Here you at madam-“ Tara snatched the water.

“Be here sooner. I hate when these things touch my tongue.” She winced, knocking half the glass of water back.

“Ugh, know go.” She shooed him away like one of the dogs.

Cordell backed out of the room. Tara closed her bedroom door, she knows how nosey Cordell can be.

Cordell shook his head, simple woman. He walked to the laundry room and pulled down the door to her laundry shoot. He could hear everything that Tara said, what kind of butler would he be if he didn’t spy?

There isn’t a single thing that goes on in the house that he doesn’t know about.

“Y/N is coming and when she does we’ll set our plan in motion.

“How do you know she’s coming?”

“Trust me, she’ll be here. Does Markus know?”

“Yes, he knows.”

“Perfect.” Tara purred.

“I’m still worried Tara. Y/N went bonkers last time her marrying Markus came up, what if-

“The only reason things went the way they did was because of your big mouth. If you allowed things to go my way we’d both have what we want, and more. Just keep your mouth shut this time and let me handle things.”

“I knew it.” Cordell mouthed to his self. He knew the witch was up to something. 

“ I have to warn Y/N.”

Cordell marched upstairs to his room to fetch your new contact information

“Where did I put that paper?” He rifled through be belongings.

********

“Get a screen protector and phone case, the next time this thing breaks and I find out it was broke during Mr. Nasty Time I’m charging you extra. “ He didn’t even get a chance to walk in before I shoved the bag with his newly fixed phone in it.

“I brought one last night. Mind putting it on for me? There’s a part on the side I don’t get how to undo.”

I grabbed the expensive looking case from his hand. “How do you know it comes a loose and it isn’t actually a piece to a custom made phone?”

“The guy at the store said it does.”

I gave him a look, “Really? You’re gonna believe a guy who charged you an arm and a leg for a phone case.”

“So you’re telling me he lied to me?” He panicked.

“Oh no it comes off,” I slid my finger under the hidden latch. “I just could have made you one for half the price you paid for this one, possibly even given you a deal.”

“Why didn’t you?” He exclaimed. “You ever heard of the phrase ‘ask and you shall receive?’ You didn’t ask so you didn’t receive.” I got up from my chair and went into the kitchen.

“Coffee?” I asked.

“Please.” He took a seat at the bar.

“It might be a little weak, I haven’t had any spare change to buy anymore,” I said over my shoulder to him.

“It’s fine. Thank you, and for fixing my phone too.”

“No prob, Bob.” I turned back around to face him, handing him his coffee. He took a sip, satisfied with the taste. “Hobi I may be going out of town this weekend.”

“Oh? Where you going?”

“To visit family.” Was all I said. Hobi is a good friend, but we’re not that close I would disclose personal information to him.

He simply nodded, “I’ll let Ellie know. She’s been wanting some days.” Ellie is Hobi’s cousin. She isn’t technically a worker seeing as we only call her in when one of wants a day off. “How long will you be gone?”

“Only for the weekend, I’ll be back Monday.”

“Okay. Are you going by yourself?”

“Nope, she’s not,” Yoongi yawned coming out the room with messy bed head. “Hey Hobi.” Yoongi waved. “Hey man.”

He tugged on my ear passing behind me to get some coffee. I shooed him off.

“Up before noon? On a day off? It’s snowing in hell.”

Yoongi made a face at me, “Hardy har har, for your information I don’t have the day off smartness. Not the full day at least, I’m going in for a couple of hours then I’m coming home to begin packing.” He sipped his coffee.

“You still working in the freezing cold at that warehouse?”

“Yup, almost every day now.”

Hobi winced. “I hate the cold.”

“Same, but it helps pay the bills.”

“Excuse me.” I held up my hand. We were just gonna skip over what Yoongi said? “Sorry to interrupt, but when did we establish you were going with me?”

“I established it last night when you were sleeping.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, serious mode activated.

Hobi finished up his coffee and grabbed his bag, “I can clearly see this is a private matter so I’ll let myself out. Call me and let me know if you need me to do anything for you while your out of town okay? Thanks again. See you Yoongi, nice hair btw.”

Yoongi flipped him off.

“Don’t be rude.” 

“He was being sarcastic. You know I hate that.” He mumbled.

I rolled my eyes, “Back to the matter at hand. How do you expect to go? We have no money set aside for things like this and if we did it’s long gone.”

“Or is it?”

Yoongi was making eye contact with me with a sneaky glint in his eyes.

“What are you up to?”

“I have the money,” he took a sip of his coffee.

“How? Where’d you get it?” I was baffled.

“Does it matter?”

“Fuck yeah, to me. So start flapping those pouty lips of yours.”

“I’m asking to get paid early and my boss said if I came in for another employee who is sick and do their shift, plus mine he’d see in to.”

I shook my head, “That’s still isn’t enough for a plane ticket. Where are you getting the rest?”

He took another sip of his coffee,”...I’m using my stash money as well. Phones ringing! I’ll get it.” I held my leg up to block his way.

“Let the answering machine get.”

”Now who’s being rude. You should never keep a person waiting, it could be important.”

“Psh! If it were then whoever is calling would call us on our cell phones, not the house phone we got for when bill collectors harass us. It can wait!”

Yoongi and I were going back and forth, although it sounded like a bunch of jumbled words. We couldn’t let the other get a thing out.

The answering machine took over, “Hi we're unable to take your call at the moment, you know what to do.” My voice sounded.

“Hello? Y/N? Are you there? Oh Y/N please pick up. I have urgent news.”

I stopped speaking at the sound of Cordell’s voice. “Cordell?” I said softly.

Yoongi was still talking. “I le-

“Shut up!” I moved him out of my way to get to the phone. “Y/N, please answer.”

“Who’s that?” Yoongi asked, coming to stand beside me.

“Cordell.

“Your butler?”

I side eyed him, “Not my butler. My friend. My first best friend, actually.”

Yoongi looked from me and the phone, “Answer it already.”

“I can’t!” I groaned.

“What-why not?”

“What if he’s mad at me. I’d be mad at me!” I fumbled with my fingers.

“Mad at you for what?”

“For leaving. I didn’t even say goodbye to him properly.” I rubbed my arm.

Yoongi gave me a sympathetic look. He reached down and grabbed the phone. “He won’t be. Not if he’s your real friend.”

I gulped as he took the phone off the receiver and brought it to my ear. “Go on.” He egged on.

“H-Hello?” I cleared my throat. “Hello?”

“Y/N? Is that you?”

My chuckle caused tears to fall down. Tears I didn’t even know were in my eyes until they fell.

“Yeah, it’s me, hi Cordell.”

Cordell exhaled heavily, “Hello my darling. My how mature your voice has gotten. You no longer sound like my little Y/N.” Cordell said.

I smiled, “Yeah well you still sound old.”

This time he laughed,” I sure hope so. I no longer have a single patch of grey hair. My entire head is gray now.”

I sat down on the couch, Yoongi followed suit and sat down with me. He watched as I chatted away with Cordell. A small smile on his lips.

“Don’t blame your grey follicles on old age. We both know why your head is so grey. You were left to fend off the dragon lady by yourself.

“Now Y/N-

“No Cordell. I felt bad about you leaving like that, still, do. I just had to get out of there.”

“Darling, I don’t resent you for anything you did. I’m proud of you.”

“You are?”

“Yes, without a doubt.“

I sighed heavily feeling a 300-pound weight lift off my shoulder. Yoongi grabbed a tissue and wiped my face. My face was dry, Yoongi continued to wipe, giving my nose extra attention.

“Stop it.” I pushed home away, his shoulders bounced as they did whenever he laughed.

“Stop what, darling?”

“Oh, not you Cordell. I’m talking to Yoongi,” I pressed the speaker on the answering machine. “Say hi, Yoongi.”

“Hi, Yoongi.” He spoke, flatly.

Cordell laughed.

I slapped his chest, “You dingus.”

“You said to say hi Yoongi.” He shrugged.

“I’m not even going there with you.”

“It’s very nice to meet you Yoongi, how long have you two been together? It sounds like I’m listening to an old married couple.”

My eyes widened, “Oh no Cordell we’re not together. Yoongi’s my best friend.”

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” He tsked

Yoongi smiled, “I like him.”

“Cordell seriously, we’re best friends.”

“Whatever you say, love.” He chuckled, “This feels like a dream, I can’t believe I’m talking to you again. Honestly, I thought you would be so mad at me you wouldn’t answer.”

Yoongi’s face had a stupid smug smile plastered on it. With narrowed eyes, I told him to, shut up.

“Cordell I was never mad you. I thought you would have been mad at me

“Never.” There was a faint chiming sound in the back. It was her third husband’s family old grandfather clock. She won it during their divorce, along with half of his net worth. I know those annoying chimes anywhere.

“Fiddle. Feeding time for the dogs. Y/N I have to go, but before I do I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?” I scooted back in the couch.

“I overheard your mother speaking with Karen about that arrangement between you and Karen’s son.”

A wave of heat generated in my chest and shot up to my ears. After all these years she’s still trying, oh my god. “Cordell please be serious with me.”

“I am. She says once you land her plan will go into motion. I wouldn’t stir you wrong, I heard what I heard.”

Unbeknownst to you, Yoongi had seen the tears you so secretly wiped away, while coughing into your arm. That was all he needed to see, he was really going now. No way you’re getting him out to stay home.

“Wow....”I sighed heavily.

“Does this mean you're not coming now? I’d understand if you didn’t.” He did a terrible job of hiding his hurt. I didn’t say anything. I don’t know what to say. I would love nothing more than to see my old friend.

“Oh, she’s coming,” Yoongi spoke into the phone. I snatched my head towards him. “

And I’ll be joining her.”

“What are you doing!” I whispered lowly.

“Helping you.” He whispered back.

“Marvelous! Shall I make arrangements for another plane ticket to be sent for you Yoongi?”

“No!” Yoongi and I said together. I’m glad there one thing he and I can agree on.

“Cordell we’ll be talking to you soon. We have much to discuss before for we get there.” Yoongi squeezed my shoulder like Cordell could see it.

“I have no idea what that means but it sounds promising. I’ll talk to you soon, great to hear your voice again Y/N.”

“Same to you old man.” I smiled. Cordell hung up the phone. I wiped the smile clean off and replaced with a glare.

“Why are you causing trouble?”

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are. You're about to jump into pool-scratch that a fucking shark tank with everything in your pockets.

Yoongi is saving up to by music equipment for the Genius Lab. He uses some software he downloaded from his computer to make music now.

I can only imagine how his gift will improve with the proper equipment. Any money he had left over from adulting goes to his stash, even his loose change. I can’t let him spend that money.

“Yoongi no.”

“You can’t tell me what to do with my money.”

I balled my hands up into a fist, a nice spot to punch on his chest was staring me in the face.

“Listen for once, I beg of you.”

“No, you listen. So what if I’m about to jump into a shark tank, as you put it, with everything in my pockets, I’m doing it for you.”

I smiled, chuckling a bit, “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew I was the reason for you not getting your music equipment.

“Exactly, equipment. Things. Materials. It all means nothing. All I am asking is to let me go with you to be your support, to help you make it through the weekend. Let’s pretend.”

“Pretend to do what?”

He shrugged, “To be together. We sounded like a couple to Cordell, I’m sure we can convince your mother. That way she’d see you're taken and it would force her to back off.”

“Back off, give up, quit, or lose isn’t in my mother’s vocabulary. She sees a challenge? She’s going to use every ounce of her power to make sure she wins. She won’t bat an eye if she steps on a few toes along the way, your toes to be exact.”

“Y/N look who you're talking to. I’ve had my toes stepped on more than enough times to know when to move my feet out of the way. I’m coming and that’s final. So you can continue to stand there and worry for nothing. I’m gonna get ready for work. The sooner I get to work the sooner I can come home. I have a lot of packing to do, babe.” He gave me a big wet slobbery kiss on the cheek and blew on it.

“Ew!” I pushed him off.

Can you please do #77 and #96 with secret service!charlie? Thank youuuuuuuuu!

AN: You’re very welcomeeeeeeee! :)

Prompt: #77 “Are you jealous?”// #96 “Well this is just great.”

Pairing: TSS!Charlie x reader

Word Count: 1386

You rolled your eyes for what had to be the thousandth time that evening. Charlie saw you, but he ignored it. He continued to talk to the young woman standing in front of him at the bar.

Her name is Emily, she has two dogs, she is a uni student, her favorite color is blue (“Oh my god, just like your eyes!”), she lives just down the road, and she always comes here Friday nights (“Though i’m usually with friends…”). She hadn’t spoken a single word to you, but now you were full of useless knowledge about her. And the way she looked at Charlie, as if he had some strange power over her?

It was nauseating.

You were supposed to be here alone, to try to relax after the busy week you had somehow survived, but Charlie insisted on tagging along, saying he could use a drink too. You didn’t have the energy to argue.

“You still doing okay?” A gentle tap on your shoulder distracted you from the display beside you. You turned to see the bartender standing there, smiling.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine thanks.” You held up your half-full drink and turned back around. Weird.

“I’ll be right back, okay? Don’t you go anywhere!” Emily giggled, setting her glass down beside Charlie’s on the bar before walking away. Charlie watched her go, an amused smile on his face.

“Oh my god, finally,” you sighed, taking a big sip of your own drink. “She’s giving me a headache.”

“Well no one told you to stay and listen, did they?” Charlie said. He wasn’t wrong, but you had gotten there first and you didn’t want to move. You’d never get your seat back. Then again, the prospect of leaving the loud bar and buying a bottle of something to take home sounded very tempting. You didn’t need to socialize with anyone-you weren’t now. Charlie hadn’t said a word to you upon arriving. Not too long after that, Emily had walked over and it had gone downhill from there.

“You don’t have to be rude,” you commented, finishing off your drink. “I’m leaving. Give Emily my regards.” You rolled your eyes again, before grabbing your bag from its place on the floor.

You rummaged through your bag for your wallet. The bartender came back, a smile on his face. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay?” You had noticed his overly-friendly behavior when you first arrived, but thought he was looking for a good tip. Maybe he still was. “What would you like? It’s on the house.” He shot you a wink and you blushed a little. He was quite attractive, you had to admit. Not really your type, but who’s looking for commitment at a bar?

Charlie scoffed and rolled his eyes. Okay, that was enough of a reason to stay.

“You know what? Surprise me.” You shrugged, putting your bag back down and taking your seat. The bartender grinned and busied himself with preparing your drink.

“He’ll probably offer you the whole bar with how much attention he’s been giving you.” Charlie said, watching the man from across the counter. He was frowning, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked completely different from only a moment ago when he was talking with Emily.

“Are you jealous, Charlie?” You teased, getting closer to him. You looked up at him, waiting for him to get mad.

“Absolutely not.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and reviewed the notifications on the screen, ignoring you.

“Okay.” You smiled, more for yourself than anything else. You had always liked Charlie, but he wasn’t interested in girls like you. You had grown to accept it. He preferred the ones he knew his parents would be impressed by. You thought being a spy was pretty impressive, but it’s not as if you could tell everyone about it.

“Here you are, miss.” The bartender returned with an elaborate concoction, and you grinned. He slid it over on a napkin which had a phone number written on the corner. “I get off at three.” He winked.

You picked up the napkin as Charlie rolled his eyes, and put it in your jacket pocket. “Thank you.” You smiled at the bartender and waited for his attention to be called elsewhere. It didn’t take long, the bar was pretty busy.

“He probably put something in that.” Charlie looked at the glass, full of different colored syrups and all sorts of alcohol. “I wouldn’t drink it.”

You picked up the glass and took a sip. “Wonderful. And don’t be ridiculous. He wouldn’t need to give me his number if he knew he’d be stuffing me into his trunk later,” you joked. Charlie stared at you until you finally raised your eyebrows. “What?”

He just turned back to his previous position, back leaned up against the bar. “Nothing.”

A few more minutes passed before he finally turned back to face you. “Are you honestly going to call him?”

You almost spat out your drink. “Charlie, are you still thinking about it? Why would that concern you?” He didn’t have an answer for you. You were about to poke fun at him again, but Emily returned.

“Hey you!” She greeted him. Charlie didn’t seem as amused now. Maybe you were just imagining it.

“Hey…you.” Charlie returned, face still in his phone. Okay, you probably weren’t imagining it.

“So, it’s kind of late…” She wanted him to suggest that they leave together. She did live just up the road. She made a point to state it multiple times. You watched this conversation, suddenly very interested.

“I hadn’t noticed.” He mumbled, still focused on his phone. She grew impatient and pulled his phone out of his hands. He reached for it, catching air. “Can you give that back, please?”

“I was thinking we could go back to mine?” She suggested, her hands behind her back. Charlie sighed. “My roommate is gone for the weekend.” She started walking her fingers up his arm but he shrugged her off.

“Sweetheart, I’m really not interested.” Her face went from hopeful to furious. “Can I have my phone back now?” He asked.

She held his phone out to him but dropped it before he could reach it. It hit the concrete floor with a sickening crunch. “Ouch,” you mumbled into your drink. Emily stormed off and you did your best to contain your laughter.

“Well this is just great.” He knelt down to pick up his phone, and you knew before he picked it up that the screen was cracked. He stayed down near the floor, sighing as he inspected the damage.

“Emily wasn’t so nice, was she?” You taunted. He didn’t seem to have the energy to argue with you anymore. He shook his phone, trying to get rid of the loose shards of glass. “You probably want to get a screen protector or something…”

He glared up at you and you burst out laughing. “It’s not funny,” he mumbled.

“You’re right, I’m sorry Charlie.” You took his phone from him and he stood up, leaning over you as you tried to turn in back on.

“So?” You were unsuccessful.

“We can go and pick you out a new one in the morning, if you want.” To your surprise, he smiled.

“Okay. I think I’ll need the moral support. There were a lot of personal things on that phone.” You studied it, wondering if you’d be able to recover anything from it.

“If you come back to my place, I can plug it up and see if there’s any way to transfer your stuff…” You knew what you were asking, and you blamed Mr. Bartender’s fancy drink. You fully expected Charlie to scoff or just say no, but he nodded.

“Yeah, sure. I’d like that.” He smiled at you. You felt your cheeks grow warm. He picked up his jacket and slid it on. You got your bag and rummaged around for your wallet again, though you kept a hold on the free drink. He eventually pulled the drink from your hand and set it down on the counter. “Don’t worry about it. It was on the house, remember?” He picked up your bag for you, pulling you along towards the exit.

You never called the bartender.

Chapter 01: Lost and Found

      From the computer to the board. From the board to the computer. The motions continued. Ms. Martin stood in front of the auditorium sized classroom, speaking on cells and DNA as the two smart boards behind her displayed everything the Professor stated. Naturally Eva found herself looking over notes, making sure every key detail was taken down. Most of this would be reviewed once labs started, so no need to stress over it. Besides, this is Eva's third year taking a science course under Professor Martin. By now the professor's antics were memorized. Hopefully, anyways.        Shifting to the right, Eva arched an eyebrow as she faced her roommate and best friend since freshmen year at New York University, Kelly Griffin, as the two clearly had different outlooks when it came to Martin's class. Leaning back in the cushion seat, Eva crossed her arms, plainly giving Kelly her attention.        "What?" Kelly whispered, but her lack of knowledge as to why Eva was looking at her, proved the point as to what the real reason was by itself.       "We will have a test in two days, Kels."       "I know. I don't need to write notes for everything she says to pass. Besides, are you going to even remember half of that shit by Friday?"       "Maybe not," Eva responded honestly, making them of both smirk. "At least I'm trying though."      False hope was more than nothing at all. At least its giving the chance to succeed. Instead of completely ignoring everything by being on Amazon searching for phone cases.  

      "Trying my ass. I rather do it my way then play with my own emotions."        It was the same petty discussion every time. They both believed in different rituals. Rituals that had served both of them over their years. Kelly has been a last-minute study person her life, while Eva believes if you continue to go over the material it has no choice, but stick to you.       "So, what? You’re going to spend damn near a hundred dollars on what? Five phone cases, a new screen protector, and.......a lightening phone charger? Really, Kels?"  "What? I need this stuff. Do you know how hard it is to do my make-up, listen to music while trying to charge my phone, which by the way, has a shortage?"        Eva couldn't master up a response. For one that was bizarre, yet expected. Kelly had no need for any of the objects in her online shopping cart, but it's what makes her happy. So, either she'll buy them now or she'll just give her doctor of a father the task of doing it later.        These two are from two different lifestyles, but that's what keeps their friendship evened out. Their differences became a balance.         Most importantly she didn't have too much time to respond because in just that short timing an Pop Quiz was being displayed on the two smart boards. Sighing, Eva closed the laptop, putting everything away and dropping her phone down by her bag. With only her notebook and pencil out, she headed her paper properly; waiting until Professor Martin flipped the screen to the quiz itself.       Kelly looked up, not an inch of surprise crossing her face. Instead she rose an eyebrow at her beloved friend and went back to her shopping. Which most did. Pop quizzes were a bare minimum of only five percent of the class overall grade; in Martin's. Eva wouldn't take her chances however. Besides, passing these quizzes is known to help Martin lighten up on the red pen during grading.        In a matter of seconds, Eva went from wanting to smack some sense into Kelly to starting with her first written response answer to an DNA cell related question of a total of five. It would take her the rest of class to finish these questions because of how much detail was expected from each student.      By the time Martin's infamous timer went off, Eva was finishing her last sentence.        "Time's up. Drop your papers off on your way out, I'll have them graded by Monday after your test. Have a nice day."        Ripping out the paper from the ridged ends of the notebook, Eva dropped it and her pencil in her book bag before getting up and following Kelly down the stairs.       Together the girls joined the crowd leaving the science related building and into the fall breeze of the October weather. The hurricanes and unbearable heat was finally over, while Eva's favorite seasons start to take over. The changing of leaves, from heat to warm and cool temperature drop lower. Meaning the chance to pull out all her favorite clothes. Sweaters, hoodies, thigh-high boots that were brought during the summer while on fifty-percent off sales, long sleeve shirts whether button or pull overs, and baseball caps even.      The weather of love and fashion.       "We should go out tonight."        Bringing herself out of her head, making up possible outfits with future shopping trips, that may not even happen; Eva looked at Kelly, who was digging in her bag like a crazy woman. Maybe for her phone. The girl wouldn't live without it if you paid her to do so. While, Eva could leave hers unattended for days if she wanted.        "I don't know, Kels."       "Why not?" Snapping her head into Eva's direction, Kelly finally stopped digging in that damn bag. "What do you honestly have to do better? Study?"      "No, sleep."        "Bitch," Eva laughed at her response, walking the path to Kelly's next lab. "How about you resend those pictures for the note packet in Steven's class and give yourself some time to rethink that decision? Its free tonight if we're there before 11. And neither of us have classes tomorrow."        Sighing, Eva went to her pockets then to her bag. Coming up short on both ends. Of course. She forgot her phone when dropping it beside her bag right before the quiz. Professor Martin would have a class in less than ten minutes and even though she had no fancy iPhone, that Note 7 would catch the eye of anyone worthy of wanting it. Including her nosy professor.      "I forgot it......"      "Really, Ev? That's like the third time you've done that."      "I know," Stopping Kelly from walking backwards, Eva held her hands up, declining the offer. "I'll go. You head to class, I'll send the notes before you get there so you can have them up before he starts."       Not wasting a second, both of them split ways and Eva retreated their steps back to the building so many of her classmates had just piled out of. It sounds different, even felt different when walking into the silent hallway. The doors of Martin, Williams, and Mr. Elza's classes were open for the next group of students, thankfully none of them stood outside waiting, attempting to start up conversations. Eva didn’t plan to stop until she was entering the class, and that’s, thankfully, how everything planned out.

     "I know what you're here for."      Sighing, she shook her head, walking into the class. Of course, Martin was a sticker for cleanliness, time, and most importantly someone paying attention. Eva should've known her fear of someone else getting her phone would be nothing compared to Martin getting her hands on it herself.        "I'm sorry," Eva mumbled, but was cut short from an intruder's voice coming from the opposite side of the room. Her phone only inches away from where the man stood.      "Good, because I don’t plan on wasting much more time." He responds, his eyes fixed on the phone and then to Martin. Conforming what Eva thought; neither of them cared that she was even here. Honestly, Eva was too caught up in the secret guest to care why she came back. Call her nosy, but it was surly interesting.       His voice was all male. Deep, masculine, raspy, and commanding all the attention in every corner of the room with each syllable oozing from those pink, plump lips.       His attention was solely on the class room, taking in every detail as if it was his first time being here. The tone of his voice betraying that thought.       Eva kept her distance, easily slipping out the doorway of the class from their visual, but definitely close enough to eavesdrop on the conversation. She's never known Martin to have such a secretive life. The woman had sense the sexy stranger before he even spoke and did so with so much ease that Eva knew this wasn't the first and if she didn't have whatever this predator wanted, it wouldn't be the last.       "I haven't gotten my hands on it yet."      "That's not what I want to hear. It’s been almost two months, Vivien."      "Yeah, well it’s not the easiest task here, East." Dropping her famous red pen, Ms. Martin looked up who Eva could now call East.      "Especially when you're not trying."      The low rumble of Rihanna's singing Consideration caught the conversation, cutting through the tension filled room. Eva sighed in relief, after a second of silence she peeked into the class. Her eyes darting in the direction of her phone once she saw the screen lightening up against the tiled floor.      "I'll be back." The next second his tattooed hand was covering the phone. Eva's eyes trailing the lengths of his arms, both filled of drawings, cartoons, words which she couldn't make out, and random things that her eyes couldn't concentrate on. East heading at her. His long legs getting him across the class, past a terrified Martin, and to Eva in seconds.      Now, she sees him. The man's arms and neck covered in tattoos also the only places she hadn't saw where the areas his black Tommy Hilfiger shirt hid. One even right above his right eye the lone word "Mugga" traced cursively. The scruffy beard and low eyes made her back into the red painted wall behind her. His height causing Eva to tilt her head up.       "Yours?" East holds out the oversize Tinker Bell phone case holding the Samsung device, his raspy voice low as if he's not interested in anyone else hearing their conversation. Maybe he isn't.       Eva looked at the phone, then to his fingers. Each finger having the letters: E A S T written on each one. The name was obviously popular.      East Harlem. The hint of an Spanish roll to his tongue.      "Mines." It was a stupid, stupid response, but the best she could come up with. There's something about a young girl when she's in the presence of a commanding, handsome, and older man that’ll make her act a fool of herself.       Grabbing the cell phone, Eva checked her screen for any scratches or cracks, fortunately for her today was the lucky day. The sound of a low chuckle caught her attention and she looked up to see East shaking his head at her, the sight of a perfect smile staring back at her.       "Be careful." And then he was gone.

     "I cannot believe I let you talk me into this bull." Eva's voice radiated through the dorm room. Her freshly painted nails tracing the leather material of her sleeveless crop top down to ripped jeans hugging her thighs and hips.       For the past two hours, she's been in and out of clothes. From one hanger to the next as each fell to the comforter on her bed. Giving into the idea of clubbing with Kelly wasn't a fight. She knew from the second she asked, they'll be going together. For one, there's the buddy system which they live by. Secondly, it was Wednesday. Fox in Brooklyn was free until whenever every Wednesday night. She wouldn't miss another weeknight outing.       "Please." Looking over at Kelly, Eva shot her a look before grabbing her make-up case and heading to the bathroom that separated their room and the girls next door. Surprisingly, neither Eva or Kelly have introduced themselves to their suite-mates. Maybe if this was their freshmen year, yeah. But now at their junior years, it's a no go. Kelly isn't everyone’s number one, anyway. From her ties with Wall Street moguls through her father, expensive taste in clothes, shoes, and even food. Plus, her loud mouth. Few chose to deal with Kelly Griffin. While Eva simply never makes time for any of it.      "Momma Reed calling you, Ev!"       Plugging in the flat iron, Eva made sure the heat was appropriate before leaving out the bathroom and back to her bed where the flashing phone laid. Luckily, Kelly answered the phone call or she would've been stuck with another river flow of missed calls and voicemail.       "Mama." She took the call back into the bathroom, leaving Nicole Reed on speaker as she parted her wavy hair into sections to straighten.       "Eva, I called you earlier after your afternoon class. Did something happen? You're okay?"       "No, momma. Everything is fine, I just got busy with some papers and a class project," And most of my day was spent thinking of a man who is has an DANGER sign nailed into his chest. "I saw your call, but I just figured I could call you later on."      “You know I worry about you, Eva. Later on isn't promise, sweetheart."      Nicole Reed is an dear woman. She loves hard and means well, but what Eva has learned over the years is her mother has dealt with many misfortunes. Situations that have left tarnished memories in her and burned her joy. Eva only knows of only one disaster that could leave a mother so hurt and scared. Her oldest brother Nick Rita disappeared during the early 2000s, not once showing any signs of worry or hurt to their mother. Eva thought the idea of her mother losing her first born would keep them settle. Just in case, Nick ever showed up again. Instead, they ran months after he disappeared and haven’t been back to Atlanta since.        From house to house, neighborhood to neighborhood, state to state, and even out of the country once where they called Europe home a year.       Nothing helped the trouble soul. Eva knew after some time her mother was going crazy. Or at least losing it. The late whispers of monsters, Nicole mumbling low words with the lone name Nick catching Eva's attention each time.      "Mom, I'm okay. You worry about me too much."     "For God's sake, Eva, you went to New York. Of course, I do. You're in danger's plate."      Monsters live.       Her favorite words.      "Ma......"        Trailing down the pieces of hair, Eva was half way finished and decided that some lipstick and a quick fresh face would be the perfect look for the night.     "I'm fine. I'm promise, but......I gotta go, ma. I'll call you tomorrow afternoon. Love you."       Pressing the red button on her screen, Eva watched the picture or herself and her mother disappeared as her phone log appeared.      "Same ol'?" Eva nodded at Kelly's question before grabbing a rubber hair tie and parting the top of her now straighten jet black tresses. Making a ponytail before fixing it into a high-top knot.       "If same ol' is another way of saying crazy? Yes, same ol'."      "Your mother is passionate, Eva. You'll be glad to have her one day." 

      Those words weren’t as effective as the first time she heard them, but, still forcing Eva to drop her arms and look at the back of her best friend as she walked out the bathroom. Not for too long, but she did dwell on the thought. Of course, death is in everyone's plans, but doesn't make it any easier to accept. Does Nicole drive her crazy? Yes, but, she's her mother. That’s what expected. Besides they do say mother knows best. 

     She stills remember telling her mother that she would be attending New York University. Being accepted mostly from graduating top ten of her high school class. Most parents would die in happiness, trying to make sure the funds would be there for the child's admission just in case FASFA caused any headaches. They'll make sure that the trip there and picking of dorms for their child or children would be an enjoyable and memorable time. Very few would be complaining and crying for the child to change their minds.       Nicole hated every second of the process. Always finding a way to make sure she was getting into Eva's mind.      So far, she's done so, just instead, Nicole is pushing her in the opposite direction. 

     "I need some of this!" Eva shouted over the music playing. She knew the song from riding with Kelly, but the artist's name wouldn't pop up for nothing.       For the past three hours, this has been their sanctuary. From forgetting about test, notes, quizzes, homework, papers, or projects. Even overprotective mothers and handsomely scary strangers. Everything that wasn't club talk was like speaking Creole to both Eva and Kelly. All they wanted for tonight was some peace. Away from the dorms of NYU and to the place of where normal teenagers relaxed and enjoyed their weekend-like Wednesday night.       "Here," Kelly handed over the cup to Eva, the sound of a sudden gasp and a frown meet Eva soon after.        Beside Kelly and Eva, there was a man. Standing at about six feet even, dressed in all black. Eva hadn't notice him before maybe because she spotted her friend across the club with a cup and with only one of them holding the fake ID to be old enough to drink; she didn't care to pay attention to anything else.        Taking a gulp of it, Eva went to hand it back, but Kelly waved her off motioning to have to have it. Nodding, she excused herself from the small moment her friend and the grim keeper were having and finished the shot within seconds.      Tossing the cup away, Eva went outside, past the bouncer who she remembers Kelly calling Devin and outside to the coolness of the late-night air. She wasn't so sure of going back in. What she expected the drink to do; cool her off, give her dehydrated body some liquids. It seems to have done the opposite. Maybe it's the fact it's Hennessy. Regardless, she needed to be away from the loudness, heat, and intoxicating scent of weed the inside of the club provided her with.       It takes all of ten minutes for Eva to realize that she was either a low tolerance person or worst and she was drugged. It couldn't be though. It just had to be that in that small shot of Hennessy, she hit her limit. Kelly wouldn't allow her to drink something drugged.      Her body was going into panic mode, but she couldn’t lift a muscle now. Everything was weary. Sliding down the brick wall of the club, Eva dropped her phone between her legs. The wallet case falling open and her debt card and driver license falling out right in front of her.     "Fuck...."     ‘Deep breaths and keep your eyes open.’       She chanted that over and over before Eva could take control of her posture. Out the corner of her eye, she saw the bouncer moving closer to her, but thankfully for her unalert body he stayed a few feet away as if he was trying to be protective of her.      "I got it." That voice.      Seconds later that same tattooed hand wrapped around her phone, picking up the cards also in the process, but paying attention closest to the license.       "Eva....look up."       The sight of the face she had just encountered hours ago meet her glazy eyes. Eva didn't know whether she should be on guard or accept the help because whatever was going on, she couldn't fight alone. But who was he to help? Some stranger.        "I need to find Kel." She finally mumbles, her tongue feeling too heavy for her mouth in the moment.       This was either happening for a reason or she was in trouble. Out of millions of people in one city how does she run into someone twice, who by the way, she doesn't know, in one day?       There was no time to dwell on her thoughts. Before her reappearing guest could answer to her request of finding her friend; everything was gone black on her.

cleaned dad’s, matt didn’t go let mom and jeff know we knew they were there when I suggested he should so they started honking the horn, got the coat on the coldest dog and left. mom made fun of me for wanting to play mario odyssey in the car even though I haven’t even gotten to open the shrink wrap yet.

we got home and left like immediately to run errands. my package from @rouvere came a couple days ago (so it was totally on time don’t worry!), but they took it back to the post office for me to pick up since I wasn’t here at the time, so we picked that up and deposited my christmas money and went to the mall so matt could look at ties (I also ended up getting baskin robbins and dragging matt to best buy across the street so I could get a screen protector immediately for my shiny new switch).

that uh. wore me out even further, of course. but I got a couple more christmas cards in the mail and remembered to thank people, and got everything put away including surprise extra craft supplies matt gave me, and I need to open my present from rou now :> then I need to catch up here, take a shower, and then I can play mario odyssey forever until I die :T

Just Friends, Chapter 53

Aaliyah

“Aight so boom, now this nigga getting dragged by the back of his collar, like a fuckin rag doll,” Jamal described, his voice carrying over the room with a lack of control. He could barely get his words out without bursting into laughter. I couldn’t help but smile in response to his energy.

Jamal lived to entertain, and part of that was the telling and retelling of ridiculous stories. Whether it left you on the edge of your seat with suspense or doubled over with tears from laughter, he was undoubtedly captivating no matter the scenario. He was a man of the people, always finding himself amongst others and as of right now, he had our core group tuned in to his every word.  

Leslie’s head was thrown back against the couch that she sat on, with her legs propped up and still in casts. A blanket covered her legs, she always ran a little colder than everyone else. With a quick glance, nothing would have appeared to be wrong with her, unless you noticed the stiff thickness underneath the red knit fabric, or a peek of the black casts that went up to mid thigh. Her body leaned against the backend, a big pillow supporting her, and a cranberry and vodka sat to her right on the stand.

Once you got Leslie’s laughter started, she was a goner, and her thick cackle would never end. I couldn’t help but laugh more at her reaction. The wide smile she sported and her hair being in two braids to the back made her look like a child. Leslie looked much more youthful than she liked to portray, and it was especially noticeable in moments like these. She wiped tears away and held her stomach, attempting to regain her composure. A little piece of me couldn’t help but wonder if her healing ribs tainted her smiles with pain, but her laughter continued, only slightly easing my fears. I knew the pain that came with overexertion, which was tough when so much of her existence boomed with her voice, her words, her movements. She hated for us to baby her, but with her ribs still healing, her body still processing… she would live with it.

We tried to be easy about everything, and this party was a sense of normalcy we hadn’t had in a really long time.

Above the fireplace, there was a picture in a frame of Leslie and myself seated on the bottom, and Byron and Lathan standing back to back above us. You couldn’t tell, but we were in front of her house. The four of us, posed to perfection, decked out in very 90’s gear, vintage now but fitting for the times. She had the same two braids in that picture. Only now, her lips were painted in a dark blue, and her eyes lined sharply and dramatically.

If you hadn’t known better, the scar on Leslie’s forehead that extended to her scalp could have been from anything, and not the car accident that maimed her frame and broke her legs. She was healing, slowly but surely, and as hard as it was to watch, her insistence upon being positive and busting her ass to rehab her body back to health made it easier on not just her. The months seemed to speed by for me with work and tending to her during my free time. Her recovery was happening right before my eyes.

Her casts would be off in just a few more months, to be replaced with soft ones that she could strap on and off. The wrapping around her core would still remain as well. She assured us all that they didn’t bother her as much, but I doubted it. It took all of the convincing in the world for her mom to leave New York and go back to Chicago, but Byron’s promises to care for her and my assurance to step in whenever I could soothed both of her parents enough to return home, with the knowledge that they’d be only a call away to make sure everything was going okay.

Byron and Thalia sat across from me, sharing one oversized loveseat. Thalia’s frame leaned against our brother’s as she sat on his lap casually. They looked so perfect together. Her large puff took her hair away from her face, giving us more access to her beauty as she sat beside her husband. They both were completely on the edge of their seats at Jamal’s story as well, Byron recalling his previous days as a bouncer with similar stories, which was how this whole conversation began.

I believe they were just excited to be around adults. While Essie had a sleepover tonight with a group of friends, the two of them would indulge, carefully of course, but nonetheless they deserved the break.

Having Leslie move in with them wasn’t even something they had to consider. In their minds, they’d be the best at taking care of her, not wanting their parents to have to shoulder the responsibility. Byron was a natural protector and would do anything for family. I respected that, and as the man who had taken his place as my own surrogate older brother, I cherished the attribute in him.

Tyler sat on one side of me on the other long couch. Her energy appeared uninterested and solely zoned into her iphone, but her appropriately timed laugher was the tell of her abilities to multitask. There was never a moment where her fingers weren’t speedily moving across her screen. Noelle was probably the only one of us truly half interested, as per usual. Her focus was more in tune to the music, as she hopped from couch to the speakers, changing songs here and there based on the mood, as well as filling up empty cups. She couldn’t help but play dj and help host with Leslie stuck in one spot.

The usual suspects were all in attendance, plus a couple others that she knew from therapy or we knew from school, and the quickly thrown together kickback ended up just what we all needed to unwind. I had had my fill of drinks and the smirk on my face and haze in my eyes told that.

A vibrating against my thigh caught my attention, only to realize that it was Jamal’s phone and not my own.

He glanced at the screen and recognized the caller instantly, a kiss of his teeth and a curt “Yeah?”

I couldn’t quite make out the voice on the other end and honestly I didn’t care to, as I checked my phone only to notice the white and red battery icon flashing on the otherwise blank screen. “Anyone have a charger? I left mine.”

“Mine should be in the kitchen, Liyah, go ahead and unplug my phone.” Thalia said motioning her head to the left. I knew this home like the back of my own hand, so further direction was unnecessary as I rose to give my phone some life.

Upon my return, Jamal was on his feet, dapping up Byron briefly and gave Thalia a light kiss on the cheek. “Imma see yall later on this week.”

“I’m heading out, niggas fucking up at work and I gotta go see whats up.” Jamal noted my confused face and I nodded in response.

“That sucks.”

He didn’t have to be gone for another hour and a half at least. I was enjoying his company. I always did.

He tapped Tyler to hug her and kissed Leslie on the forehead, bidding everyone else a farewell as he walked my way.

“Imma walk him out.” I said casually. I ignored the smile on Leslie’s face with intention as Jamal draped his arm around my shoulder and we exited the noisy living room, the closing of the door silencing majority of the sound coming from behind it.

I glanced down at my feet, the bred’s made them look especially long. Jamal’s 11’s were all black and I wanted a pair.

“You didn’t have to walk out with me.”

“Its no big deal.” I shrugged. “I do wish I had brought a jacket though.” My arms were covered by a thin nude turtleneck and the ripped jeans on my legs allowed the chilly air conditioned hallway to cover my skin in goosebumps.

Jamal’s heavy arm draped across my shoulders once more as he tugged me in toward his body for a hug, forcing me to walk backward while pressed against his chest. He was warm, and that, in combination with the spicy fragrance he wore made me feel fuzzy.

Whatchu thinkin bout?“ Jamal asked quietly, the baritone grit of his voice pulling me out from my head back into the empty hallway as we walked toward the exit. Our squeaky sneakers resounded with an echo. I smiled to myself, our steps were mostly in sync while he glanced over at me expectantly and yet… with a comforting lack of pressure and an ease that made me feel good.

Jamal was easy.

I liked it.

He had a way of pulling me out of my head and into our surroundings that didn’t make my heart race or fill me with anticipation. Our conversations were often long, full of jokes and moments of intensity that could easily be broken by a subject change or a random distraction.

Like now. I could tell him how good it felt to be around him, how easy it was to have him in my world. How I’d noticed a change in him since the time we’d spent apart and although I wouldn’t take full credit, the timing seemingly alluded to me being a cause of his shift.

I could answer his question with depth, tell him that I enjoyed his company. His presence. His friendship. I could tell him that he was regaining my trust that he wouldn’t ever disrespect me the way he had.

"I like your shoes, I might buy a pair.” I replied to him instead. I wanted to keep the ease on the table. Alcohol would rule my tongue if I kept at it and I really just wasn’t in the mood. My smile was loopy, followed by a shrug as I looked forward through a glass window toward the illuminated sign signaling the staircase we needed to take to the back entrance.

“I might buy a pair” he mimicked in a voice meant to be similar to mine but failing miserably. “You want something.”

“Excuse me?”

“Nahhhh yo. You think you slick.” He held the heavy metal door open for me walk as we bound down the sets of stairs. “Jamal, I like your shooooooes”

“You get on my damn nerves.” I rolled my eyes brazenly. He mocked me with a taken-aback look. “I don’t even sound like that.”

“I don’t even sound like that.” I rolled my eyes, considering sprinting down the stairs but knowing my clumsiness and alcohol could fail me even though I wasn’t as intoxicated as I soon would be. Jamal paused, the grey background of the stairwell looking good against his outfit.

“You trying to butter me up because you want something.” I stopped mid stair, bursting out into laughter as I walked past him.

“Boy, please.” I replied flippantly.

“What you want big daddy to do for you baby girl?” He replied teasingly while snatching me into him just as i touched the final stair at the bottom of the stairwell.

“Quit.”

“Nah tell me.” Long arms wrapped against me. I could smell the remnants of his cologne and I loved it. It was hard to hide my smile, as the curve of my lips remained rebellious. A kiss of my teeth and an eye roll was all I could give him as he pulled my body back against his. This forced me to walk much more carefully, with his weight possibly leading me to fall. Trusting him as my guide was no simple task, and very slow steps made us take our time, complete with shit talking and unnecessary stumbles while we worked our way to the doorway. .

Jamal was fun. And funny. And sweet.

Everything that I had missed from him before was back.

I couldn’t deny that I enjoyed it.

“Did I tell you you looked pretty?” He asked as we slowly continued the walk down the extensive hallway toward the door.

“You always do.” I shrugged softly.

“Lil cocky ass.” He teased more.

“Stoooop.”

“I meant yesterday. I saw the picture you put on instagram. You looked good as fuck.”

My face warmed again having to hear him compliment me, and feeling his voice resonate against his chest didn’t help matters.

After I started getting a lot of followers on my account due to the twins and other clients, I created a second one for private pictures. Some of my friends, Jamal included, followed both. Unfortunately the public one still needed to be maintained for work, it helped with business promo and whatnot. I hated it, the comments could get ridiculous, especially if someone tagged the twins and I on something, so I had to monitor closely. But it was part of the job and I was determined to not let the bullshit ruin my time.

On my personal account there were more candid, fun photos, things I felt freely about sharing with friends. I had no worries there. Nothing I had to monitor because no one save my actual friends had access. The name was so obscure that by searching you couldn’t even tell it was me.

Underneath one of the three photo’s I’d posted from last night’s work party, Jamal commented “my my my.” I laughed at the Johnny gill reference. Jamal must have slipped and mixed accounts, as he rarely made his presence known on this one. I wouldn’t complain.  

There were a couple likes on his comment that made me roll my eyes. Fan accounts, I could never be sure if they were being messy or supportive so I chose to stay silent.

The likes on the group picture where you could see Laurent with his arm draped across my shoulders near the middle of the frame did numbers. It was expected. I’d seen a zoom in on one of the more chill fan accounts of he and I with everyone else blocked out. The ‘where’s larry?!’ ‘her and larry dont have pics?’ comments were plentiful. If they only knew.

“I had to comment. Didn’t even realize which page you posted from.” Jamal knew he had maybe toed the line. Hence the comment.

“No biggie. And thank you.”

Behind me a door opened, allowing sounds and smells, as well as a hint of warm air from outside to enter into the hall and let me know we made it to our destination. “Aight mama, you gotta let me go sometime.”

I wiggled out of his grasp, making him and I both laugh when I stumbled at the motion. “Text me when you get to work, okay?”

“Ima hit you. Call me when you get home.”

I nodded, holding the door open with my body. “I’m serious, Aaliyah. Don’t hit me on no ‘I fell asleep’ shit either.”

He knew my moves too well. “I got you.”

“Take a Uber home too, I don’t want ya drunk ass on the train tonight either.” He chided, half joking but half serious. Always looking out for me. “We still on for soco tomorrow?”

“I will, and Yes. Now go, you won’t blame me for being late tonight.”

With that I closed the door. My legs felt like lead from the trek I had to make up the stairs when an elevator stopped working in my office building the day before last. I decided to take the lazy way out and make my way toward the front of the building to the main elevators.

I patted my pockets for my phone, only just realizing I left it to charge in the kitchen after its untimely death before Jamal left, but I’d be back amongst my people soon so that wouldn’t matter.

I sighed, so impatient for my journey back down various hallways and spaces. I kicked my feet, trotting along like a goofball until my entrance was finally visible. The double doors in the creamy greige colored hallways allowed me to see the familiar frames of the long lanky men I’d grown to love, and hate, and miss. Laurent’s twists were underneath a cap, and Larry’s piled atop his head. His neck was uncovered, making him look even leaner.

The timing was incredible.

I laughed to myself, watching them both scan the rows of numbers and last names, as Lau tried to pick out Byron’s faded one. Larry had his phone to his ear, looking just as confused as Lau.

Larry…

So much bullshit was between us. I would have loved nothing more to feel the pure excitement that I did to see Laurent… but alas.

I almost remained still, but something pushed me forward, past the elevators I needed to get on to get upstairs, through the doors ahead of it, and right into their space.

“Yooooooooo!” I burst through and exclaimed in my best (worst) attempt at a New York accent. “Y'all the niggas that dance with Beyoncé!”

I startled them, and while Larry put his phone down quickly, Lau chose to play along. “Hello baby, you know us?”

His voice was less silky than Larry’s but the flirtation was just the same. I almost broke character to laugh. “Yo, deadass I love y'all. You gotta be Larry, right? My friend said Larry was the cuter one.”

“No she tell you wrong” Lau replied, slinking toward me and wrapping me up in a hug. Larry kissed his teeth behind, and I briefly looked his way with a laugh, in an attempt to normalize the situation. “Yes I’m the better twin but it’s Laurent.”

There would be no bad blood at Leslie’s, not on my behalf. She was well aware of the goings on, but when she asked me if I cared that they were invited, I knew not to deny them. She wouldn’t have asked if she didn’t want them here. Nor would she if she didn’t care about my opinion.

“How long have y'all been out here?” I abandoned my character even though my laugh remained.

“Not long.” Laurent rocked me side to side in a hug still. “We call you, you not answer.”

“Yeah my phone died.” I shrugged, entering the code to unlock the main door and take us to the elevator area.

“Larry think you ignoring us.” Lau said calmly, walking on the elevator before Larry did. This allowed me to see the glance Larry gave him in addition to hearing him mumble “fuck up, bro.”

“Nope.”  I briefly glanced Larry’s way, only to quickly lock eyes with him. We weren’t doing this intensity shit either. I turned away before it could get deep. “My phone is still charging upstairs.”

Brief, easy conversation amongst us was almost unnecessary with how quickly the ride went. Once the sounds of the party filled the room hallway, the energy was much more relaxed between us. Still I felt something strong but forced myself to bury it and carry on. The scent of a heavy coconut scented candle filled my nose and I smiled, knowing Byron’s protests against them.

Laurent swiftly made his way toward the living room, loudly saying hello to everyone as I focused on grabbing another cup and checking my phone as a distraction. I leaned against the counter, noting that my battery was only at 10 percent. Movement in my peripheral caused me to glance upward, only to startle myself and almost drop my phone.

“Shit.”

“I scare you?” Larry snickered as he stood across from me, leaned up against the black refrigerator with his hands in his pockets.

He looked good.

His jeans were tight but worn in, looking like they were catered to his body. Most clothing looked like that for the twins. While his black sweatshirt was likely warm, not including the layers he for sure had underneath, I knew that his body was conditioned to comfort with them all. He didn’t look bulky or off for the weather. He just looked like… himself.

It was so familiar that it pained me a little bit. Having Larry this close this often within the past 48 hours had really done numbers on my stress levels. 

“You look good, you know that?” He said with his airy voice just above a whisper. I turned my body and focused on pouring myself a whiskey topped with ginger ale. I couldn’t hear his always light steps, but I knew that he would be behind me sooner rather than lately. All of my focus went to steadying my breathing and my shaking hands. “Last night too.”

Memories flooded my brain at how obnoxious the events had been. I felt my eyebrows furrow uncontrollably, but I maintained my otherwise blank face, bringing the cup to my mouth.

Nothing had changed, and as good as it was to see him, and as much as I longed for the way things used to be, I knew deep down that I was nothing but a fleeting thought for Larry, if even that. His shit, casually bringing up the night before as if it was nothing to him, told me everything I needed to know.

Entertaining the possibility that he had been thinking of me, that he cared, would only bring me more and more unnecessary feelings and I wasn’t up for it. Not yesterday and not tonight.

I quickly grabbed a sprite and poured some into another cup, topping it off with vodka and turning to the side, handing it to Larry, who had made his way over and now leaned against the counter beside me. His attempts to make eye contact didn’t go unnoticed, but I knew I had to maintain my cool. “Here. Go enjoy the party.”

“Aaliyah.”

“Larry, stop.”

His shoulders dropped. “Look, I not going to make you talk. I say for you last night and I say again. I just come here for tell you that you look good. And I miss you. And I happy to see you. And I-”

I sighed, taking a gulp of my drink before interrupting his moment. “You said you weren’t going to make us have this conversation.”

“I’m not.”

“Then let’s just have a good time.” I said coldly, wrapping my arms around myself. Larry’s eyes pained at my involuntary reaction.

“Okay.”

“Okay great.” I nodded, giving him my back and unlocking my phone. I opened my email’s newest messages, determined to focus on something, but Larry’s strong yet lean arms wrapped around me, dismissing any chance of maintaining my cool.

I felt him bend his torso down to plant his chin on my head, and I felt his breath as he surely inhaled my energy and the essence of the moment between us. My heart betrayed me, beating quicker and quicker and my hand reached down involuntarily and gripped his forearm.

Not to move him. It was just a touch, a gentle grasp. The only movement I would give him to let him know that I was okay with our proximity.

The only move I would allow myself to make, when a host of other things, ranging from a slap to a kiss, floated around my brain.

His nose replaced his skin, lightly touching the top of my head.

Once his arms left from wrapped around me I took a deep breath and exhaled. It was then I noticed someone standing in the doorway.

“Am I interrupting?” Noelle’s voice said as calmly as it would have normally. There was a glimmer of laughter behind her faded eyes, but her cup remained near her mouth.

“No.” I replied too quickly. “He was making a drink, and-”

“How you been Noelle?” Larry interrupted my unnecessary ramblings and walked over to her cautiously. While Noelle and Tyler were two peas in a pod like Leslie and I, Tyler’s outrage at Larry’s existence did not carry over to hers. Noelle took more of the 'if you like it, I love it’ stance, keeping her from really diving too far into anger at Larry, and moreso basing her energy on me and how I felt about the situation.

“Good, twin. Really good.” He hugged her and she reciprocated, which made a snicker almost release from my lips. She had said lots of salacious things about him initially to make me feel better.

That’s what friends were for.

“Good. You look good girl!” Larry replied, to which she gave a thank you as they crossed paths and Larry exited the kitchen, not without one final look back at me.

I was a statue. A marble statue. Frozen.

“Earth to Aaliyah.” Noelle said with a laugh, swinging the fridge open to add some lemonade to her cup.

I rolled my eyes, taking my drink to the head before preparing another one.

“So… we’re going to just act like that wasn’t a thing?”

“It wasn’t.”

“Okay…” She paused, taking a sip. “We’re definitely going to ACT like that wasn’t a thing. Great.”

“Noelle…”

“You don’t have to explain.” She shrugged, tightening the lid on the bottle of vodka. “It was cute.”

Fuck this was going to be a long night.

—-

The sun warming my face woke me up instantly. What was often my favorite part of rising in the morning now bothered me immensely, making my body warmer than I wanted it to be. I felt like I was confined in a strait jacket, and waking up without my normal freedom was disorienting along with the annoyance of being overheated. I stretched my arms out, freeing myself from this confusing mass of fabric, only to note that I had cocooned myself in a blanket like I often did at night anyway. My old grey blanket covered my body, and I could feel its softness against my bare legs, and I shook my head, at least grateful that I had removed my jeans before piling into my bed.

I couldn’t help but snicker at my foolishness. Thank God my hangover wasn’t rearing its ugly head. I wiped at my eyes, shaking my head at the black streaks that had been left on my hands from doing so. I had had a lot to drink, and now all I needed to get some sanity this morning was some water.

With heavy steps I walked into the kitchen in my shirt and underwear, stretching out and being careful not to disorient myself with any remnants of alcohol still in my system. With my eyes still closed, I grabbed the first bottle of water I touched in the fridge and took it to the head, the icy cold temperature immediately waking me up and making my body feel more balanced.

I came up for air once the sight of my kicked off shoes caught my eye. Upon further observance of my surroundings… I noticed my keys thrown on the counter… and my pants near the doorway to my room….a black sweatshirt hanging up on the door.

An unfamiliar clothing item to this place.. But extremely familiar to me.  

A nervousness made my stomach sink.

Instantly the night before filled my thoughts.

–

“Larryyyy, relax. I’m fine.” I said as I focused on walking up the stairs as carefully as I could. I rolled my eyes at Larry’s hand touching my hip unnecessarily. I wasn’t wasted, nowhere near as bad as he thought I was, so his attempts to steady me we’re really useless. My keys slipped from my fingers just as quickly as I took them out of my purse.

“FINALLY!” I exasperatedly yelled as I stepped beyond the barrier to my living room, knowing that not only was I finally home but I was home alone.

Alone, save for Larry.

This wasn’t weird. I blamed the alcohol. Instead of me being annoyed by his shit, and by shit i mean his long stares and his intense, heavy energy that only I seemed to feel. I would never admit it but I gulped down my drinks faster because I didn’t know what else to do. Ignoring him wasn’t working. Engaging normally wasn’t either.

At least, not until I had successfully gotten a buzz. Then things became funny.

I spent a lot of the night laughing. I laughed at people, with people, Laurent’s jokes were hilarious, and Larry’s awkwardness tickled me deep down in my soul. It was all just funny and even now I stifled another giggle as I kicked my shoes off and listened to them clunk against the wall.

“You so loud.” Larry said, his bunny teeth poking out of his smile. I rolled my eyes, fuck my neighbors after keeping me up the other night.

“I dont give a fuck. The niggas above me sounded like they were moving furniture at 6 am last week on a saturday.” I padded quickly in the direction of my room, desperate to take these clothes off and get comfortable in this bed. My pants were gone before I crossed the entryway into the space. “FUCKING SATURDAY, LARRY.”

Roughly, I attempted to snatch off Larry’s sweatshirt. Along the ride home I was freezing cold, Spring had notoriously chilly air in the evenings and the thin ass shirt I wore wasn’t cutting it. I struggled more and more, until somehow I lost my balance.

“What you doing in here?” Larry’s muffled voice clued me into his presence. Before I knew it, hands on my torso reached in, grabbing the sweatshirt from my body, over my head, and past the tips of my fingers. Thank God for his height.

I fell backward into my bed with a laugh, the slight dizziness I felt was more than humorous to me. To my left, on the nightstand was a bottle of water and I grabbed it, knocking over something unimportant in the process. I chugged a quick couple of gulps, not before looking up at Larry, as he stood over me, a confused smile playing on his lips.

“You crazy.” he mumbled.

I tossed the bottle toward him and rolled over with laughter. This was just fucking rich. Here I was, drunk in my room on the other side of the country.. With Larry. He was nowhere near my level of intoxication, so I knew that as cool as he was playing it, this was all just as confusing to him. Instead of dwelling, my laughter spilled from me more and more.

Looking up, our eyes met as his smile grew on his face, leading to a tiny chuckle. My dizziness was only fueling the comedy of the moment, and before I knew it, my body was in Larry’s arms and I was close to the floor.

The laughter stopped.

His arms were wrapped around my upper body as my legs awkwardly dangled. The grip he had on my body included me being pulled into his chest, and our faces were so close that I could see the tiny eyelashes that he sported.

“Lets get you back into bed.” He whispered. I nodded.

“I’m fine-” I attempted to pull myself from his grasp but he wouldn’t let me. Slowly, he placed me back on the bed, sitting me upright, before crouching in front of me and placing his hands on my thighs. I tossed my head back, frustrated because I really wasn’t that drunk. I didn’t need to be handled with kid gloves.

That, and the fact that his hands against my thighs brought back memories I couldn’t help but lust after. He looked damn good. His twists had fallen into his face, since i’d stolen his hairband. I wanted to tuck them away.

I just wanted to look at him. Purely. With nothing blocking my vision.

“You should lay down.” He bit at his cheek and I poked him in the spot.

This brought back his grin.

There were my giggles again.

“What’s so funny? You laughing all night at everything.” Larry sat on the edge of my bed, and I laid back, yawning as I sunk into my pillows.

“You.” I paused again, avoiding his eyes. “Us. All of it.”

—-

“Larry?” I called out into the apartment. My voice echoed and I glanced around. My phone was dead as a doorknob, with the charger sitting on the night stand… beside various silvered rings.

His rings.

Larry would never leave without his rings.

—

Larry

“Larry you fucking kidding me? Why you not here?!” Laurent’s voice held not a bit of sleep in it, and considering it was damn near 8 am, I answered the phone expecting a tired questioning.

I was wrong. Wrong as shit.

I sighed as I balanced the bag in my hand with my phone, all while stuffing my wallet in my pocket and listening to my twin brother’s exasperated ranting on the other end.

“Relax, Lau, relax.”

“No! You so stupid, you take Aaliyah home and you go jump into bed with that crazy bitch. If we miss us flight I gonna kill you. No… I gonna leave you and kill you when the tour over because I not get fire because of you or her.”

“Chill out okay.” I knew who he was referring to without using her name. After I came home yesterday morning I got chewed out for putting up with her shit. Laurent wasn’t one to let things go, and periodically throughout the day he’d jab here or there, around company and alone.

The only time he let up was at the party. That was out of respect for Aaliyah.

“You need to come back so we can go.”

“Look just do me a favor okay.” I said through a yawn. The smell of coffee around me weirdly helped my energy level rise significantly. “Grab my shit, it’s packed. Take it with you. I be there. Don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry? You fucking kidding me right? Larry”

Simultaneously I heard my name being called by the barista.

I heard ‘Larry’ called in the background by the barista.

“Yeah.” I said offhandedly, stepping forward with a smile as I accepted the coffee and smiled brightly at the girl behind the counter. She was a fan and I signed her phone case when she took my order. She was all of 16 or 17. She reminded me of my sister at that age. Sweet smile, big eyes, and frizzy curly hair pulled back into a ponytail.  

“Yeah you kidding me? What the fuck you on man I’m not-”

“Lau, calm down. I see you there.”

“Larry you better-” I pushed the button to end the call and slipped my phone back in my front pocket, freeing a hand for me to carry the drinks more efficiently.

I felt no need to explain the situation to Laurent. None at all. He saw us leave together and was too excited. I never responded to his messages inquiring about the night. With Karina calling me multiple times yesterday and me finally answering her right when Aaliyah walked through the door and found us, he was justified in his confusion.

But I wasn’t on that. I couldn’t be.

That shit didn’t matter. It never really had. 

Now that I had seen Aaliyah, things had changed. She was the reason I was in this Starbucks right now.

Not 48 hours ago did I find myself trudging through new york with a cloudy headache and an upset stomach, the after effects of a hangover draped over my shoulders dragging me down. I watched Aaliyah throw back drink after drink, avoiding my eyes at first, then becoming more open, more social with jokes and commentary. She was still keeping me at an arm’s length but it was less tense because her conscious mind had gone out of the window last night.

I held no complaints.

Things were easy when we weren’t fighting. They felt like before.

I missed it more than even I knew.  

This lead me to offering to ride home with her and make sure she was alright. In that same token, it created my need to wake up and grab her various items to line her stomach and ease any other hangover symptoms she might be feeling today. It was the least I could do.

She was known to enjoy herself, but I couldn’t help but assume her extra chugs were due to me.

After the work party the other night, after Karina throwing up on my pants, and all over the toilet… after apologies and tears and more apologies and dead weight passing out, I had had enough. I drank myself into oblivion. It was ironic. My response to her sloppiness was to get sloppy myself.

I fell asleep hanging off of her sofa. A headache forced me up before I needed to be, and I stumbled around the room, grabbing my shit and a cab to get back to the hotel and shower off the night’s events. I did all of this without waking her at all.

Her many phone calls throughout the day told of anger, sadness, embarrassment, and a range of other feelings from both of us.

I played everything back as best I could while the buildings floated past my face in the backseat. The strong cologne the cab driver wore threatened my gag reflex and I regretted it all.

Laurent was no help. From forcing me to wait and struggle with my room key, to blasting music and taunting my frustration… It was rough. More than rough.

I was determined to make sure Aaliyah woke up in the easiest way possible. Besides, her waking up to me would be shocking enough. I wanted to make this easy.

I wanted to talk.

We needed to, desperately, and although I didn’t really have time with my flight being in a few hours, I would do whatever it took to create a space for her comfort.

For us.

I’d fucked up. We both had misplayed this in different ways and it needed to be fixed.

I unlocked the door to her apartment as quietly and as carefully as I could. There was silence, and in the light of the day, I took a moment to look at where I was.

This was way different than our diggs in LA. Significantly smaller, for one, which was expected. There she wasn’t paying nearly as much as she had been, and I was sure this apartment was costly. Luckily, the room on the other side likely belonged to someone else.

The scented candles all around, feminine color schemes, and delicate decor put me in the mindset that her roommate was a woman. That settled me.

Quickly I worked, taking the treats from the bag and looking for a plate to put them on for her. Two plates clinked together much louder than I planned and I swore under my breath. I then dropped some spoons and forks into the sink.

Clumsiness took over me out of nowhere.  

“You need something?” Her voice was quiet. Tentative.

“Shit, sorry. Did I wake you up?” I replied, swallowing in an effort to get rid of some of my nerves.

“No, no.” She shook her head. “I woke up and took a shower and shit.”

I hadn’t noticed she was no longer in the nude turtleneck and her underwear. No wonder I felt a rush of warmth. Her face lacked the makeup she wore the night before, and although the flutter of her elongated lashes made my stomach weak, there was something about now.

I hated the stereotype of women looking good without makeup, because truly they looked good both ways. Aaliyah was the best example of this. I could stare at her face endlessly. She looked so pure. So innocent. 

Fuck. This was going to be tough.

“I wake you when I leave?”

“No Larry.” she sighed, leaning against her countertop. “You left your rings though.

She handed me my jewelry and I worked quietly as she watched, placing them in my pocket save for the one Laurent and I both have.

For a moment after, Aaliyah and I were both silent, avoiding eye contact and feeling all the tenseness that had been missing.

“Well… Welcome to my apartment I guess.” She shrugged. We both lightly chuckled, her awkward joke easing us some. “What’s all this?”

“I go to grab you coffee and some like… little food shit.” I shrugged, walking toward her with the drink in hand, it’s sweat coating my palm. “This for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“No is okay.” I bit at my cheek, watching her look at the drink before enveloping the tip of the straw on her lips. She forced her eyes away, but I couldn’t help but stare, especially at the plushness. Her tongue danced out, licking away a drop of the creamy colored liquid and she gave me those eyes again.

“Caramel Syrup?” I nodded. “You remembered that?”

“Is hard to forget, you drink that shit a lot, Liyah.” She shook her head knowingly, stifling another giggle. Luckily she had given me so many last night, I didn’t feel like I needed to force more from her. “They not have almond milk there, something about the delivery guy shit, I don’t know. I get coconut instead. I hope you like.”

“I started drinking coconut milk with my coffee a couple weeks ago.”

“No shit.” I smiled, as did she.

“Yeah.” She took another swig, this one much longer than the first. “It’s perfect. Thank you Larry. Let me venmo you-”

“You kidding me?” I scoffed, slightly offended. “I get for you. Stop it.”

She paused, nodding and then leaning back and staring off into space.

“You know…” I started, assuming this was maybe something she had considered in her first thoughts. “Nothing happen last night with us.”

She nodded again.

Nods, smiles, and a couple laughs. It was all I was getting but I wouldn’t complain. Fuck, I felt like such a pussy.

“I know.”

“Good.”

Aaliyah stepped over toward me, and grabbed a piece of the lemon loaf, chewing it slowly. I bit into a cookie, even though I wasn’t the biggest fan of desserts this cookie was damn good.

“Aaliyah… “ Her shoulders rose and fell with a sigh. She knew as well as I did that we were at the point.

“Larry, I-”

“Just give me the first words okay, I be quick.”

One nod bid me permission to proceed. “Aaliyah… I know I say we no need to talk yesterday and the day before and I mean it, because I know we gonna have time and make time for this.” I took a sip of my frappucino and placed it back on the counter.

“But now that I spend so much time for you I don’t know if I can wait much more. I need to clear this shit with us before we bury it and it rise back up again. Then we maybe lose out on us chance for make shit better.”

“You’re right.” Her agreement was quick.

“I’m sorry. Sorry for the other night and for so much shit… but we have so much to get out and I not gonna let us run from it anymore. Even if it hurt.”

She sipped a water, offering me one in the process. “Larry, there’s so much I have to say. I… don’t even know where to begin right now.”

Part of her wanted to run. I didn’t blame her. She always would want that, I think. The fact that she pushed it aside for me made me feel special. 

“I give you two options.”

“For…?” She questioned, confused.

“It can’t be right now, you say right. I have flight in two hours.” Time hadn’t been on our side as of yet. Today would be no different. “Either we talk when I get back, or me and you stay here and hash this out now.”

“You do have a flight. ” She reiterated. Deep down, I knew she would never make me choose career over her. The respect for work that we both had was something I always loved. “You won’t miss that for me.”

“Then I call uber and I leave… but not until you promise.”

I took the bottle of water from her hands and placed it next to her coffee. Her hands were damp, just like mine, as I clasped them within my own. “You have to promise me we keep us open for talking to each other.”

Her eyes showed her confusion.

“I don’t want to ever go this long without speak again. We have to promise to talk and when I get back I take you out, and we gonna sit and talk together, just me and you and lay the shit in front of us.”

Aaliyah’s breathing was heavy, and her bottom lip was embedded between her teeth as she thought, before an ‘okay’ left her lips in a whisper.

“Promise me.”

“I promise.” said only a hair higher than the whispered initial response. I’d take it.

“Then I call an uber.” I smiled. She followed my lead. My fingers tapped, unlocking my phone and opening the app, as a knock sounded off behind her door.

The best possible scenario had come to fruition. Aaliyah was willing to work things through and give us both a chance to figure shit out. I couldn’t have been happier.

“How’d you get in?” Aaliyah’s voice carried.

“Someone was coming out so I just walked in. I tried to call you.” A much deeper voice replied. My chest poked out and the hairs on my neck rose. I could feel my lips curl at the familiarity.

“My phone died.” Aaliyah walked back near me and following behind her was fucking Jamal.

“Yeah, you’re lucky you texted me last night.” he replied.

“I did?”

“Hell yeah, ya drunk ass. ‘Im home NIGGA!’, all caps. Disrespectful as shit.”

They both laughed with such an ease that it turned my stomach. Aaliyah turned to me and I tried my best to relax my irritation.

“Larry, Jamal, you two remember each other right?”

I eyed him up and down and instead of his negative response, or even him sizing me the way I did him, he put his hand out for a shake. “Wassup man.”

I seethed, but Aaliyah’s trained eyes didn’t leave mine. “What up.”

“Aye man those kicks fly as shit man.” Jamal said casually, nodding in respect. “I’ll give yall a minute.”

Just as calm, cool and collected as he was when he entered, he was even more so when he waltzed into the living room and found himself a seat at the computer facing the wall. He was so comfortable. I couldn’t stand it. 

I knew shit was too good to be true. Aaliyah wasn’t talking to me probably because of him, and here I was wasting my time.

The buzzing of my phone took me from my thoughts as I looked down at the notification that Xander the uber driver was downstairs. Right beneath it, three missed texts from Karina.

My karma. I had some nerve being that pissed at Jamal as if I wasn’t doing the same if not worse with her.

“My uber here.”

“Let me walk you out.” She replied quickly, following me to the door. Jamal bid me farewell as he continued whatever he was doing. I replied the same way, as cordially as I could manage.

SIlently we made our way down the flight of stairs, until the navy blue doorways led me to the outside. “Text me when you get to your gate.”

I took that as a peace offering, wrapping her in a tight hug and kissing her forehead. She wrapped around me as well. We would both work on this. I was determined. 

“I will. I’ll talk to you, okay?’

She nodded, smiling with a gentle wave. “Bye Bourgeouis.”

I literally have no idea what my life is???

parents went to best buy to get a new printer and i went with them to see if they had any screen protectors so i could switch out this one i messed up (they did but expensive and i didn’t wanna pay for it, anyway--)

it took me like two minutes to figure out there wasn’t a screen protector i wanted to buy so i was just wandering around the store bc i didn’t want to listen to the printer discussions

and i walked passed the apple section and the guy was like “you have any questions?” and i was like “no i’m good i have a mac and i like my mac” and then he asked me which one and then he just kept talking to me and then the next thing i know we just keep talking?? about non-best buy stuff?? like jobs and where we’d traveled??? and he was like “if i was dry interviewing you for a job i’d hire you right now you sound so smart and you have a great personality” and he kept saying he felt really comfortable around me and then he friends me on fb and follows me on ig and snapchat? and kinda? asks me out? bc he asked me what i was doing on tuesday after work? (and i made an excuse that got7′s album was coming out [which it is but on monday lololololol] bc oh my god what is happening) and all this stuff i mean he was definitely flirting with me WTF THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN then my parents were done and they rescued me i am awkward

all done while i look like shit and am wearing zero makeup and feeling like i want to curl in a ball and never come out????????

please send help what is happening

>.< I spent soooooo much money today!

I started out by purchasing a snack and some caffeine for work. I bought a bathroom and travel perfume, for work. I bought my friend her thing in exchange for my thing, and as a huge thank you, as well as some new pins for my hat. I paid off my BJDs. I bought lunch, left the breadsticks in the fridge for tomorrow. I'm going to buy tokens tomorrow. I bought dinner tonight and ate some and saved some.

Then I hopped on the gooooood ole internet to buy a toy, a nice new phone, check that my phone bill was paid, and a case and screen protector for said phone. I'm not even going to open my phone until the screen protector and case arrive. My new case is also a wallet, so I can keep all my valuable possessions in one place. I heard the best way to protect your screen protector from dust was to put it on in a steamy bathroom? I certainly do shower often enough, it wouldn't hurt to try. My problem has always been that I panic about getting dust under my screen protector. It'll be interesting with the angled screen of the S9....

It sounds like everything should arrive next week, which sounds good to me. I have another looooonnnnng week coming up, especially if my friend isn't out of the hospital. She was put under care by her general physician, which shouldn't have been necessary to spell out.

I've pretty much purchased everything I needed to get a hold of immediately. Obviously, my wardrobe could use augmentation, but goodwill is right behind where I work. I could go there either before a closing shift or if I get out of opening early enough and get a couple pieces. I'm thinking two or three more tops and one or two more covers should fill out my wardrobe and combinations/selections. I already have a couple of t-shirts that are decent enough to work under a cover, so if I get a couple more covers, at least for summer, and I can worry about winter covers later. Idk.

I'm so excited to finally have my hands on a nice phone.

Next week's paycheck is going to absolutely knock my socks off, and then most of my checks after that are going to suck rock salt. Maybe it is time to pick up at lay a couple extra hours. I've pretty much got the hang of this place, and maybe getting some more hours somewhere else will force my super to give me a more regular schedule. Like I said, I pretty much have everything I need in terms of one-time investments (I mean... long-term, maybe not so much life-long).

I dunno. All I know is, if I'm this tired now, I'm not sure there's any relief in sight for me if I go pick up more hours somewhere else.... But it'd be nice to have that van goal in mind. At the rate I'm going with this job, I could definitely be on food stamps and not have to worry about grocery shopping, which would get me on my way more efficiently. Or even if I didn't qualify with more hours, that's more time spent working at least. More money in my pocket.

The cute guy I've been talking with, he says he's not looking for anything serious right now, which is fine with me for now. I told him as much; when and if we see each other for a while, it might start to bother me - it really just depends on if we are seeing each other, and if it's for a while. I don't particularly care at first if he's considering other girls or just fooling around; but after a while, I would want him to choose. I think a while for me would honestly be a couple months. I'm not going through the same shit I just went through. I'm not going to be content taking second place forever. Or even one more time. I can't do it. I've made my interests pretty clear: I'm looking to start my family. I can maybe be flexible about him being like, okay, you focus on you, do this thing and then we can step up our relationship and I'm right here to support you. That might be a little unfair, and it would definitely test my patience.

I dunno, I think even if he and I keep talking, I'm not sure I should keep using apps to try to meet guys. I'm not sure guys using an app actually want anything serious. Or they think fucking right away is a good foundation for a relationship???

I dunno. I desperately need sleep. I wish I had my fan. I should open the window before I leave tomorrow so it's cooler in here.

Dear Friend,

May 23, 2017

Part I It’s been fourteen days since I’ve last written to you. I’m very sorry for that.  I’ve actually been really busy lately.  I’m on vacation visiting my dear friend Marie.  She’s the one that sends me letters in the mail.  It’s been lovely staying with her.  She’s made me feel at home: making me dinner, buying me gifts, and letting me do all the things I want to do.  Lately we’ve been watching a lot of tv shows and movies and reading and writing.  It’s a good feeling to be doing things you don’t usually do.  It feels productive to me.  I won’t tell you where I am, but I will tell you that I’m still in Texas.  I’m a lot more north than usual so it’s very strange to be in a town that has sixty-seven degree weather at the moment.  I’m really not used to it at all.  I just checked the weather back home - it’s eighty-nine degrees and cloudy.  I bet it’s really humid too.  I wasn’t expecting it to be so cool here, so I didn’t pack any long sleeve clothing.  It’s a wonderful feeling though, to be somewhere different and to not be in ninety degree weather for once.   I like being a little cold. I’d rather be shivering than sweating my ass off.  I’ve been here for almost a week now.  A part of me doesn’t want to go home, because for once I’m really happy. But the other part of me knows that I can’t be here for long.    I left my problems at home.  I feel so stress free, not having to worry about them.  Like the fact that my ex-boyfriend is going to Finland.  Like the fact that he hasn’t paid our car; I took it away from him and now I have to get it repossessed; It’s going to ruin my credit, but it has to be done; I want to cut all ties with him.   Like the fact that I don’t have to worry about work and seeing my case manager.  Like the fact that I don’t have to do so many things for my parents.  The only problems that traveled with me was my financial ones.  I’m running out of money and this trip probably made that worse.  I left the people who don’t care about me at home.  Like Voldemort and other people that I thought I could call my friend.  Like my friend Diana - She told my ex-boyfriend about Taylor after he and I went to Applebee’s with Josh and Sabrina one day.  She was our waitress.  She honestly had no right to do that and I don’t understand why she had to keep tabs on me for him.  I found this out because one day, when my ex and I were fighting about the car, he had the audacity to bring up Taylor.  He texted me, “Hey. Be careful with your new boy. He’s been around the block. Just because we have animosity between us doesn’t mean I want you to get hurt. Don’t let your guard down. I had class with his twin. And if you think I’m doing this to mess with you, then you obviously don’t know me at all. All I’ve ever done for you is look out for you. Have a nice life.”   This made me so upset.  Diana had obviously told him about Taylor because she is the only person that still talks to my ex.  It’s so sad that little does she not know that he did nothing but talk shit about her when she didn’t say goodbye to him before she left back to California.  Now that she’s back, I thought she and I could be friends again; not after this stunt.  My ex can have her and continue being a fake friend.  I wanted to tell him so many things that he didn’t want to hear.  I was so upset and hurt and in so much pain.  Why does he have to keep up with me? I don’t want him to keep up with me.  It’s pathetic.  I don’t give a shit about him anymore. Why can’t he just not care about me just the same as I don’t. Instead, he decides to stir the shit pot of emotions that I have locked up inside that want to come out. I just want him to leave me alone.  If he wants me to be happy, then he shouldn’t have left when I needed him the most, as a friend.  I just left… Everything. Even the people I do love and that love me back.  Like my parents, Josh, Jenna, Angel, and Aaron. That’s the only part of me that does want to go home.  I want to go home to my family and my good friends.  I miss them very much.  They are my light.  And I know I can go to them for anything.  They keep me strong.  I don’t know what I would do without them.  Part II This city I’m in - it reminds me of home.  There isn’t much to do and there’s a lot of other cities next to this one. So, if we decide to take a trip to some other town, it takes about twenty minutes.  Like I said, there isn’t much to do, but we are making the most out of my time here.  For example, just the other day, she and I decided to take a drive to a neighboring city to walk around the mall there.  I bought myself a Dragonball Z statue of Teen Gohan from GameStop.  It was an early birthday gift to myself - it’s a few weeks away.  I also bought myself a a face serum from Sephora.  We were at the mall for over an hour.  When we were done window shopping, we rode to Best Buy so I could buy a new screen protector for my phone.  I was lucky enough to find the last one there.  Then, we went to Staples so Marie could buy some blue ink for her new pen.  That’s also when I bought my first calligraphy pen.  When she saw it, she said I had to buy it because I’m a “writer” now. Am I? So I bought it.  Afterwards, we walked to a Barnes and Noble that was nearby.  That’s when I bought my first journal.  Marie said I should get it so I could write down all my thoughts.  So, I did.  Later, on our way back home, we stopped at a Panera Bread. I had never been there before and Marie really wanted me to try it.  I wanted to try something new, so I thought - why not? She parked the car and turned to me. “Do you want to take down your book so we can read when we’re done eating?” “Yeah, sure. That sounds like a good idea,” I said, smiled, and continued. “Hey. I can take my journal too. Maybe I can write about what we’ve been doing today.” “Oh my gosh. Yes. You should!” With excitement, I grabbed my newly purchased journal and a book called The Reason by Lacey Sturm and walked into Panera Bread. I’ve had the book for a good eight months now. I haven’t bothered finishing it because I get so lazy. I do hope to finish it soon.  I walked in with Marie and was a little confused with the set-up. They had kiosks on the side so people could order their food themselves.  “Do you want to use these so we can look at the whole menu?” Marie asked and pointed at the high-tech looking kiosks.  “Yeah. I know I’m probably going to take a long time deciding anyway.” That comment ended up being very true.  I didn’t know what I wanted to eat.  I also didn’t want to try something too risky.  But I also didn’t want to try something safe.  I was so indecisive.  There was so many options.  After about five minutes of thoroughly navigating the menu on this ten inch screen, I figured out what I wanted to eat.  I decided on a turkey and ham sandwich with a few vegetables and a cup of chicken noodle soup on the side.  I also ordered a papaya green tea that turned out to be very delicious.  Marie and I sat down by the window secluded from other people.  In fact, we were alone for a good twenty minutes in the section we chose to sit at until some lady and her daughter decided to dine-in a few tables away. It didn’t take long for our food to come out.  Within ten minutes, an employee brought out our meals. The sandwich waiting to be eaten by me looked so delicious and the soup was still steaming hot.  I took my first bite of my panini - God, I was right.  Delicious!  The soup was just as good.  Marie got a turkey bacon club on a croissant bread with a broccoli and cheese soup.  I didn’t try her sandwich but I did try her soup.  It was sadly better than mine.  I knew I should’ve gotten that one instead when I was being so indecisive at the kiosk.  Didn’t matter; I enjoyed my meal nevertheless.  When we finished our meals, Marie started reading a book called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller and I started writing in my journal.  I wrote about our day, which I have already mentioned to you earlier.  Then I started to read the book that has been on chapter six for the past eight months. I only read one chapter while I was there.  I would’ve read more, but we had to leave if we wanted to take a walk at the park before sunset.  So, I closed my book, took my journal with my first entry in it, and left with my best friend back to her apartment.  I guess I should start calling it home. For now… Part III I will admit that it feels a little strange to be so far away from home.  I haven’t traveled alone (without family or a boyfriend) in about six years.  The farthest I’ve driven alone was San Antonio when I wanted to visit my lesbian friend Renee.  Irregardless of the fact that this city reminds me of home, it definitely doesn’t feel like it - I’m surprised I haven’t had an anxiety attack.  As I said earlier… I miss my parents.  I miss my dog Zoey.  And I miss my friends - especially Josh.  I felt really bad that I left the day before his birthday.  So, to make it up to him, (before I left) I bought him a cute birthday card and wrote him a note.  I also wrote him a two page letter and sent him some money.  I left it in my mailbox and thankfully it was delivered to him the next day.  He was really happy and surprised to get something like that from me.  He only read the card on his birthday.  Josh said that he was scared to read the letter because he thought it said something bad, like that I was moving away for good and wasn’t going back.  Thankfully, I don’t intend on that.  I do want to go back home, eventually.  Just yesterday, two days after his birthday, he finally read the letter.  He thought it was really sweet and it made him smile a lot. His girlfriend wanted to read it too, but he didn’t let her.  She just read the card, and when she did she said to him, “Dude, I think Alex is in love with you.” He laughed and said that we are only friends.  I am in love with him… But, I know I can never be with him.  I’m just grateful to have him in my life as a wonderful friend than not at all.  I care about him too much and I don’t know what I would do without him. He’s always been there for me when I needed him.  I couldn’t ask for anyone better.  He makes me so happy, and he doesn’t even have to try. I didn’t think the card was enough. On my way over here, I stayed in San Antonio for a night because I didn’t want to drive straight here on the same day. While I was there, I stopped at a few stores at North Star Mall.  I went to this novelty shop called Think Geek.  I found a lot of Rick and Morty stuff that I got for his birthday.  I don’t plan on sending them to him, because I want to see his face when I give them to him.  I also bought him an animated movie called Princess Mononoke and had it sent to his house.  He just got it today. He was so surprised.  He texted me. “Oh my god Alex! How many things did you buy me?” I replied.  “Why?” “I got the movie. Thank you Alex. Oh my god.” He was obviously speechless.  “Aww. Do you like it? Did it make you smile? It got there quick! I just ordered it on Sunday!” “Yes. Of course! I love this movie.”  “I got you a lot more things. But I won’t send them to you. I want to see you open them.” “Oh my god. You’re insane.” “You love me.” “I do,” he confirmed. That made my heart clench.  He’s so cute.  I missed him so much that I had to ask him if he could FaceTime me.  We didn’t talk until late in the night because he was busy playing a raid on Destiny all day.  So to kill time, I started watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I with Marie.   In the middle of the movie he finally called me on FaceTime. I paused the movie, walked to the blow up mattress that was behind me, and answered him.  The phone took a while to connect us.  After a moment of looking at a black screen, I saw his face for the first time in a few days.  I know it seems pathetic of me to say that I missed it because I just saw him last week, but I can’t help but want to always see him.  He was shirtless and I could see that he got a haircut.  It looked nice and clean.  “Hey Josh,” I said with a big smile.  “Hey Alex,” he replied and mirrored my smile.  His smile is so crooked and his teeth matched it just the same.  He doesn’t like his smile, but that’s what I love the most about him. Then it’s his eyes.  He looks tired all the time, but somehow I’m attracted to that.  “Your hair looks good! I like it.”  “Oh. Thanks. The girl that was cutting my hair messed up the back. She was annoying me” I couldn’t help but giggle. “What? Why do you say that?” “Because. She wouldn’t shut up. She just kept on talking and talking. She wouldn’t shut up!” He repeated. “I literally just wanted to tell her, ‘Bitch. Shut up and just cut my fucking hair.’” I bursted out laughing! Josh was on speaker so Marie heard what he said too.  She was laughing just as hard as me.  I couldn’t catch my breath.  Then when I was just about to, I’d turn to Marie to catch her still laughing! This, of course, made me laugh even more… “Why are you laughing?” Josh asked. He laughed and then continued, “If Marie is telling you things about me then you need to tell me. What did she say? Why are you laughing?” He repeated. I took another moment to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. “She didn’t say anything. We’re just laughing at what you said! It was so funny!” My stomach started to hurt from all the shrieking giggles.  It was the good kind of hurt though.  “Alright. I guess Alex,” he said as he gave me that compelling stare of his.  The rest of the conversation was mostly about his day and mine.  Like what I’ve been doing lately while I’ve been away.  I told him that I’ve been writing a lot - physical letters.  I told him about my adventure to the neighboring city. I told him how I’ve been feeling.   And how Marie and I have been doing a lot of cute things together.  He told me his girls weren’t there which was odd because it was a Monday.  Usually, they are back by Sundays from the mom.  He also mentioned that he got written up at work because someone decided to show up two hours late to cover his shift.  The managers knew he wasn’t going in and this girl, the one that took over his shift, knew what time he had to work and decides to show up late. Then he’s the one that gets written up? I don’t see how that was fair.  A few minutes later, the conversation started to die out. We had nothing left to talk about. Coincidentally, he got a phone call from his girlfriend.  “Hey. Sabrina is calling me. I have to go.” Josh said in a rush.  “Alright Josh. I’m glad we were able to talk tonight.” “Me too Alex. I love you. I’ll talk to you later.” “Love you too. Bye-bye.” I hung up my phone with a smile.  It wouldn’t go away.  I almost forgot I was with Marie.  She was quietly watching videos on Instagram on her phone.  I got off from the air mattress and walked up to the empty chair by the bar.  I looked at Marie, gave her a smile, and she gave me one right back.  She didn’t say anything - she didn’t have to.  I hovered my hand over the computer to press play as I asked her, “Are you ready?” “Yas queen,” she said.  We both laughed. I pushed play and we continued to watch the magical world of Harry Potter until the night ended… Part IV I don’t know when I’ll be back home. When I leave here, I plan on going to visit my friends in Austin.  My good friend that would like to be referred to as Fisto Roboto said I could stay at his place for a few days.  I asked him last week if I could go visit him and stay at his apartment. He never replied, but the next day he sent me a Snap of him in a cap and gown. It was graduation day for him. I sent him a message on Snapchat. “Oh my god. You look so freaking cute! Congrats! I hope you have a wonderful day.” He replied. “Thank you so much! I hope you have a great day too!” I thought it was really strange that he sent me a photo on Snapchat, but not reply to my text the day before.  Was he ignoring me? Did he not want me visiting him? I didn’t bother asking him again because I didn’t want to be annoying.  To my surprise, a few days later, I noticed that my text never went through to him while I was at Panera Bread with Marie.  That’s when I saw that my iMessage didn’t go through and my send button turned green.  I decided to send him a message on Snapchat again. “Hey! Is your phone not working? Or do you not have an iPhone anymore?” “No iPhone,” he responded. I felt a little relieved. “Oh. No wonder. I texted you last week! I wanted to ask you something!”   “What is it?” “I’m not sure if I should ask. I don’t want to be annoying.” “Don’t be afraid to ask me something silly boy. Just say it.” I got a little nervous as I typed out the words. “Well. I texted you because I wanted to know what you’re doing the weekend of June 2nd.” “Hmm. I don’t have any plans. What’s up?” “I was hoping I could stay over for a few days if you weren’t busy. You can tell me no!” “Haha. Yeah of course! You know you’re always welcomed here. On June 2nd, I’m free after 5:00pm. Now that I’m done with school I have a lot of free time.” “Oh my gosh. Okay! That’s awesome! We can go to the arcade and go drink!” “That sounds like a lot of fun.” “Yes it does. Let me know if anything changes!” I was already getting so excited to see him.  Given our history, I’m expecting something to happen with him, but sadly, he has a girlfriend.  “Alright. I will!” The conversation ended there.  Today, we continued that conversation. I texted him. “Fisto Roboto.” “Alexxxxxxxx.” “I just wanted to tell you that I hope you have a great day today!” I like to send cute messages like that when I’m thinking about someone a lot. “I hope you have a great day too!” “Thank you!” “Alex. When are you planning on staying?” Oh no. Something must have come up. Why would he be asking me otherwise? Ugh.  I knew it was too good to be true.  “June 2nd! Why?? I can go a little before or after? My schedule is really flexible.” “June 3rd and 4th: Campfire and wedding proposal to attend.” I knew it.  I knew I wasn’t going to be able to stay. “Oh! Alright. Should I go a few days before then? Maybe the 31st of May?” “I’m saying you’re invited too, if you’d like to go. Haha.” I dropped my jaw. I was in utter shock.  I couldn’t believe he was inviting me! Why isn’t his girlfriend going? I thought.  “Oh! Okay! That sounds so fun! I’ll go!” He never replied after that. I’m honestly really curious now to know if he’s still with his girlfriend or not.  I’m anticipating so much to happen if he and I decide to go drinking and he somehow accidentally gets drunk. I also wonder where I will sleep when I stay with him.  I wonder if he’ll let me sleep on the same bed as him… I don’t want to sleep on the pull out sofa-bed in his living room. I like him a lot and think he’s so cute. I know I won’t let the opportunity go pass by if it decides to be offered to me. And by “it” I mean his body.  It’s getting me excited just thinking about it.  I want to be with him already.  I guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens when the time comes.  For now, I will continue to be stress-free. For now, I will continue to have a good time with my best friend. For now, I will continue to keep writing about my life.  All these things are too calming for me to give them up.  I need to take advantage of this moment, because I know when I get back home, all the problems that I left behind will still be there. Waiting for me...  Waiting to tear me apart again. Love always, Alex