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hyunniesgirl · 3 months

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Bad intentions | Part 2

Pairing: Han Jisung x afab!reader

Summary: you thought you could turn Han Jisung into the perfect boyfriend material so you can get revenge on your cheating ex. Little did you know that you would end up getting much more than just a guy to show off.

Words count: 13,668(Idk don't look at me)

This content is +18 ONLY, minors do NOT interact!

It's advised to read part 1 before this one for context and better understanding of the plot.

Part 1 | Love is a mess: series masterlist

Warnings: dry humping, handjob, fingering, cursing, pet names(baby, pretty), oral(f, m receiving), unprotected piv(for the love of god don't do this irl), jealousy, angst, fluff

A/N: here I am again, procrastinating what I should be doing just so I can take this fic out of my head. Hope you guys like it ❣️

Seunghoon was never one to do acts of service, he would tell you he loved you and even though you didn't always believe that, that's what he offered and you just took it. You always thought that that was everything you deserved, better a bit of affection than no affection at all.

So you didn't expect to find Jisung waiting for you the next morning. He's outside of his car, scrolling on his phone, leaning against the vehicle.

You close your front door slowly, like he can just disappear if you make any hasty movements. As if Jisung can feel your presence, he lifts his eyes looking in your direction, smiling and waving to you.

“Fancy seeing you here”, he jokes, tilting his head when you come closer.

“In front of my… house?” You ask, smiling and he shrugs, embarrassed. He didn't really think it through, he just got into his car and when he realized, he was in front of your house.

“I just thought we could go to school together”, he kicks a rock on the ground, losing confidence, “but it's okay if you don't want to”

You step closer to him, taking his hand into yours and interlacing your fingers. That sudden electricity from before running through all your body the moment you touch him.

“Maybe you can convince me”, you tilt your head, biting on your lower lip while looking at his lips, looking extremely kissable.

“How?” His head snaps to look at you, following your gaze and understanding what you're suggesting. He feels his ears warm, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your body closer to his.

Jisung kisses you, the warmth of his touch spreading all over your body. His tongue brushes against your lips and one of his hands slides through your hair, pulling it lightly.

You open your mouth slowly, too intoxicated by his scent to think clearly, putting your hands on his hips, sliding up just to find his deliciously small waist that you could never notice with the baggy clothes he wears.

“Well, you're full of surprises, aren't you?” You say when you two finally part the kiss.

He frowns, looking at you breathless.

“Shall we?” You ask, pointing at the car and he nods, turning around and opening the door for you. Before going in, you look at him, a playful smile on your lips. “You'll get me to do a lot of things if you keep using these means of persuasion”

For the first time in your life you don't want the spotlight to be on you, you feel uncomfortable being the center of attention. You know exactly why people are staring when you arrive at school with Jisung.

You wish you were being judged by showing up with a new guy barely a month after breaking up with Seunghoon, but that's not it.

People are looking at Jisung, you know they are. You don't mind the snickering comments or the idiotic jokes directed at you, but you don't want him to go through that.

“Should we have lunch together?” He asks you, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Actually, I don't know if I'll have lunch today”, you lie. If you think logically, you should try to stay away from him at school. Maybe people won't target him if you do that.

“Do you want me to take you home after school, then?” He asks, frowning, finding your sudden change of attitude strange.

“There's no need, I have practice”, you avoid his eyes, ashamed of yourself.

You're an idiot, you shouldn't have made such hasty decisions. You should have thought about how mean people would be to him if you brought him into the spotlight with you.

Jisung feels his stomach sinking in and he can't help but take a look at himself, he never really cared about the way he dressed. He wears anything that he finds that's clean, not worried about looking good or fashionable.

He has always been the smart guy, the one who has no care in the world other than the things he has his eyes set on and that has always been his studies and music.

His family was shocked when he chose a career in music since he could do anything else. He has the brains to choose any path that had success guaranteed but he chose something as uncertain as a career in the music industry.

He did end up being successful anyway, after meeting his friends and forming 3racha, it didn't take long for them to land a contract with a big label. The three of them stayed in college though, each for a different reason.

Looking at you though, you're very different from him. You worry about your image and what people think about you. If he looks at you, from your hair to your shoes everything is matched to perfection. You're always nice with everyone, even with the people you know talk shit about you and you still keep your grades up.

So why, someone who worries so much about her image would want to be seen with someone like him?

He never worried about his clothes or being popular, but now? He's very worried about those exact things. If you end up dating him, how will people perceive you? You're the center of attention so the person who's dating you, automatically will be in that same center.

Jisung decides to wait for you after practice, he knows you told him not to, but he knows that if he stays in his head, he'll go crazy – thinking about all the worst case scenarios where you're going to dump his ass anytime now just because he's not popular enough.

You smile when you see him but it dies down a few seconds later, when a group of girls from your cheer squad walks past you, laughing about something.

“Hey”, he says when you get closer.

“You didn't have to pick me up”, you say awkwardly, hoping he didn't hear what those girls said.

“Yeah, but I thought you would be too tired to walk back home-”

“It's just a short walk”, you tell him, pressing your lips in a thin line. He stares at you for a moment, frowning, debating in his mind if he should say something about your strange behavior and knowing that if he doesn't, it will eat him alive.

“Y/N?” He starts, voice too serious, “are you embarrassed because of me?”

Jisung really doesn't want to hear your answer, it would crush him if you said yes but he has the slight hope that you will deny it.

“No! No, absolutely not”, you shake your head frantically. He feels a huge weight being lifted off his back but at the same time, he still doesn't understand why you were acting like that.

“But then why-” you cut him mid sentence, taking a deep breath. Bold of you to assume that a person as smart as him wouldn't notice how you were acting.

“People can be really mean”, you tell him, “I'm afraid you're going to go through a hard time because of me”, you pout, feeling like crying. What if he agrees with you? What if he doesn't think you're worth the trouble?

“Why would you think that?” He searches for your hands, holding them and pulling you closer.

“If you date me, people are going to talk about you and I don't want you to hear the same things I have to”, you tell him, honestly.

Popularity is great, you love the attention but it has its downsides. The amount of times you had to listen to people talking shit about you in the restroom, when they didn't know you were there, is wild. You lost count of how many times you walked in on a conversation of someone talking something bad about you and you had to pretend like you didn't know.

You don't want Jisung to experience that, he's invisible now and he enjoys that, it's not fair that you would take him out of his comfort zone just to date you.

“What about you?” He asks, making you look at him with a frown. “You don't care that I don't know how to dress and that I’m basically invisible?”

You smile. Against your better judgment you don't, you really don't.

“I mean, if you could just let me take you to a hairstylist”, you say, lifting your hand to his face and brushing his hair to the side. “I really want to be able to look at your eyes while talking to you”, you joke.

“Ouch”, he puts his hand on his heart, pretending to be hurt. “I don't care what people say about me, okay? I only care about what you think”, he informs you, as if he didn't make that clear already.

“Are you sure?” You ask once more, giving him a chance to escape, even though you don't want him to.

“I am”, he nods, pulling you even closer and wrapping his arm around your waist. “So, can I have lunch with you from now on? And take you to and back from school? Hm?”

You nod, smiling happily.

“I'd love that”

You decide to let people talk, if Jisung doesn't care about it then neither will you, and let's say that after that conversation things just got hotter between you two.

Classrooms, cars, under the bleachers, the locker rooms, there's no place where your makeout sessions didn't reach. You just can't really behave yourself in his presence, when you two are alone you just have to touch each other and after that you just can't help what comes next.

Everyday. Before, between and after classes you're all over each other. You're covered in hickeys, your hair is always a mess and lipstick just won't last on your lips for long. Jisung is no better than you, the only difference is that he can hide the love bites more easily and his flustered face is less noticeable than yours.

You are both in his car trying to get to the restaurant before one of you yields and try to touch the other, when his phone rings.

“Hey”, he says, putting on speaker while he keeps driving.

“I’m sorry to call, I know you're on a date”, you hear Chan's tired voice on the other side of the line, “but my laptop died for whatever reason and the song we prepared to send tomorrow morning was there, I didn't have time to make a backup”, he sighs.

“We lost everything?” Han asks, panic in his voice.

“No, we have the unfinished version on Changbin's laptop but we lost what we worked on yesterday”, Chan explains and Han nods, even though his friend can't see him.

“Okay, yeah, I can go there and-”, he stops mid sentence, looking at you puzzled. “You are out of the city, right?” He asks Chan.

“Yes and Changbin has a test tomorrow, he won't be able to do it”

“Can I go to the studio with you?” You ask and Han nods, confused. “Then we are going to be there soon, Chan, don't worry”, you tell.

“Thank you”, Chan sighs, giving his goodbye and hanging up.

“Are you sure?” Jisung asks, watching you pick up your phone in your purse.

“Yeah”, you shrug, “we can have dinner in a fancy restaurant another time”, you say, calling the said restaurant so you can cancel your reservation.

Jisung watches you talking calmly with the restaurant, feeling grateful, you didn't have to be so understanding.

“Should we order some fried chicken?” You ask, after hanging up, “unfortunately they won't give us a refund”

“It's okay”, Jisung chuckles, “and I'd love fried chicken”

“To tell you the truth, fancy stuff is not my cup of tea”, you tell him, “I much rather have some chicken and beer”

“Well, my lady”, he smiles at you, “luckily for you I know a great place that sell exactly those things”

You watch Jisung work, he looks so professional while doing whatever he's doing. He's focused, a few strands of hair falling slightly over his eyes. His hands work fast, mixing, going back and forth and fixing different parts.

You sit there on the couch, waiting for him to finish. One, two, three hours go by. It's one in the morning when he sighs, closing the laptop and turning his chair towards you.

“Are you done?” You ask, hopeful and Jisung nods, standing up and walking to the couch, sitting comfortably on your side, resting his head on the back of the couch. Eyes closed trying to rest his eyes. “Did you make a backup?” You tease, watching him open his eyes slowly, turning his head to look at you.

“I did”, he chuckles, “and sent the backup to Changbin and Chan too”

“That's good”, you tell him, snuggling closer.

“Sorry that we didn't have a proper date”, he says.

“Don't be sorry. I think this is great”, you shrug, “I had good food and got to see you looking hot while working, that sounds like a win win for me”

Jisung laughs, shaking his head to your antics.

“Still, if there's anything I can do to make it up to you, just let me know”, he tells you.

That's when you realize Han Jisung doesn't know you at all, this man shouldn't give someone like you an opening like that.

“Oh, in that case”, you bite your bottom lip. “I have some ideas of how you can make it up to me”

You lean closer to him, face centimeters away from his.

“You could start with this”, you give him a peck on the lips, “and then you can go down here”, you kiss his jaw, going down to his neck, “then you can use your imagination here”, you suck on the skin that already has purple ish marks fading away.

“Is that right?” Eyes darkening, his hands land on your hips, pulling you closer.

“Mmn”, you agree with a shit eating grin on your face.

“And what about this?” He grabs your hips, bringing you to his lap. Your cheeks grow hotter, he's so much more bold than when you started seeing each other. “Do you like it?” He tilts his head, brows arched and a smirk on his lips.

“Where did the guy that freaked out about the thought of receiving nudes go?” You pout, you hate that he can so easily get you flustered.

Jisung throws his head back, chuckling while looking down on you. He tightens the grip on your hips, pressing your body closer to him. You can feel something hard beneath you and that doesn't help you at all, your face growing even more red.

“I had to change my approach when I realized you like to tease”, he brings his face closer to yours, “but you have no experience with being teased”, he smiles, seeing your breathing halt. You're cute.

He kisses you, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer, rubbing your aching core on his hard on. You gasp, feeling the sudden stimulation but he keeps his lips on you, tongue brushing on yours slowly making you dizzy.

Jisung slides his hands to your thighs, pulling your skirt up so he can grab the flesh of your ass and squeeze it.

“Hannie”, you whisper, feeling his cock pressing against your clothed clit, making the knot in your lower stomach grow.

“Hm?” He asks, Jisung just loves when you use that nickname to call him. “Are you enjoying yourself, pretty?” He teases and you nod, moving your hips on your own, chasing your high.

You look at Jisung, brushing the strands of hair out of his eyes, biting on your lower lip before kissing him. You look so majestic riding him, he has no words so he tries to show you how turned on he is by kissing you with all the lust he has in himself. Hands on your hips forcing you closer to him, stimulating you more.

“I-I'm c-close”, you struggle to say, feeling all the heat spreading all over your body as you bend down and bite his shoulder to contain the loud moan you let out.

Jisung wraps his arms around your waist, snuggling his face into your neck and leaving kisses on your sweaty skin. You're kind of embarrassed, you didn't think you would be doing something like that in a place like here.

“Next time let me hear you, yeah?” He teases and you groan, slapping his arm.

“No, what if someone heard me?” You protest and he smiles, brushing your hair behind your ear.

“There's no one here at this hour”, he reassures you, “but anyone that ever heard you moaning should thank you, baby”, he gives a peck on your lips, biting your bottom lip.

“You didn't finish, right?” You sigh, closing your eyes to the feeling of his cock still hard as a rock beneath you.

“Don't worry about it”, he shrugs, “I got to make you cum, that's enough for me”, he smirks, too proud of himself but you have your own pride, no way you're going to let him see you like this and not do the same.

“Can I touch you?” You ask, getting out of his lap and comfortable by his side on the couch, waiting for his answer so you can unzip his pants.

“You don't need to feel obligated”, he says but clears his throat when you glare at him, “yeah, you can”

You waste no time, working on opening his pants and pulling his underwear down to see his painfully hard cock, he's bigger than you thought he would be. You feel your core throbbing once more, just thinking about how you're going to make him fit inside you, that won't be easy but you're sure you can manage.

You grab his length with your hand, making him jump and whine. ‘What a beautiful sound’, you think.

Your hand starts moving up and down and you watch as Jisung throws his head back, mouth open, low moans coming out and eyes closed as he approaches his orgasm. He looks so pretty like that, so you get closer, leaning over and kissing him. Jisung groans, thrusting his hips against your fist, making even more lewd noises while you just watch him, face so close you can feel his breath hitting on your skin.

When his movements start faltering, he can feel his release and in a moment later his hot cum is spreading all over your hand.

“Fuck”, he says, ears turning red instantly when he comes down of his high. “I usually take longer”, he explains nervously, making you chuckle.

“I didn't say anything”, you shrug, finding his anxious eyes too cute.

“I'm serious”, he pouts, zipping his pants back on.

“Me too”, you chuckle, “you took way longer than most guys do, there was a hot girl humping on you and you didn't cum, that's a feat in itself”, you tell him and he bites back a smile, you're such an idiot. But cute, definitely cute.

Jisung watches as you get up, looking for the bathroom so you can clean yourself and he finds himself smiling alone, thinking of you. What are you doing to him? And why does he not mind it at all?

It doesn't take long for Seunghoon to find out who's the guy you're going out with and he doesn't waste any time to come and find you, being the asshole he is.

You're having lunch with Mina and Miyeon when you feel that familiar arm on top of your shoulders, his scent is the same, so there's no mistaking it.

“You didn't tell me the guy you're seeing is Han Jisung”, Seunghoon’s snarky voice feels like a knife being thrown at you. You grab his arm, tossing away from you, his touch makes you sick.

“Didn't think I owed you a full report of who I'm dating now”, you say back, rolling your eyes.

“Well, I mean”, he sneers, “I thought your standards were higher”

You feel your face turning red, not from embarrassment, no, it's anger, the only reaction this man can get out of you now.

“Of course my standards are higher”, you take a deep breath, knowing very well that if you punch him in the face right now, he's going to win. “That's why I went for someone much better than you”, you roll your eyes.

“Please, in what world that guy is better than me?” He laughs and you can't help but chuckle.

“I sure could tell you all the things he's better than you, but I don't think people really need to know about how disappointing you are in bed and outside of it too”, you finish, standing up. “Ah”, you turn to him before you can walk away, “don't come looking for me again, Jisung can get very jealous”

Walking home you're foaming at the mouth, who does he think he is to talk about Jisung in that way? Oh, you really wish you could have beat the hell out of him, fucking bastard. Well, fuck him, you're better off without that prick and you hope you don't have to think about him ever again.

As soon as you get home, you hear voices inside your house coming to the conclusion that your parents are home, as if things couldn't get worse.

You take a deep breath before turning the knob to open the door, meeting uninterested looks when you walk by the kitchen.

“Why did you arrive so late?” Your mom asks, not really looking at you now, much more interested in her phone.

“I had practice”, you say, opening the fridge to grab an apple. You're hungry but if you have to eat with them you're sure you're gonna have indigestion.

“Shouldn't you be studying?” Your father accuses you. “Your brother is the best student in every one of his classes”

“Well if I had that many expensive tutors I would be the best too”, you mumble, receiving a raised brow from the older man. “I don't have any exams for the time being”, you sigh, excusing yourself but before you can cross the door out of the kitchen you hear your mom's voice.

“We are going to travel again tomorrow, we just came home to get some things”, you nod, that's nothing new.

Jisung is walking back and forth in the living room of his apartment, waiting anxiously for Chan and Changbin to be back from their morning workout session.

You didn't see it, but Jisung was there at the dining hall. He froze dead in his tracks the moment he saw Seunghoon sitting with you, all the worst case scenarios coming to his mind. Did you go back to him? You wouldn't, right?

It's true that you and Jisung don't have anything official yet, but it looked like you liked him, so even though his brain was having a field day telling him you never once enjoyed being with him, it's hard for him to actually believe you would put him aside just like that.

He can hear everything, Seunghoon isn't trying to be quiet and he's saying the exact things you were afraid Jisung would hear. He doesn't care about people talking shit about him, the only thing he cares about is what you think about him and the way you just straight away told off your ex’s makes Jisung proud of you, proud of being with you.

However, even though you don't mind all the talks and mean comments, he does. He doesn't want to harm your reputation or more importantly he doesn't want to hurt you. So Jisung made the decision to become someone better, he wants to be better for you. So when his friends open the front door, carrying their gym bags, they bump into a restless Jisung.

“Can you help me?” He asks, making Changbin and Chan look at each other and nod, sitting down with their youngest to talk.

It's been years since the three met each other and every once in a while they tried to convince Jisung to accept their advice so he could be more popular.

It was exhausting, really, Jisung only cared about music and finishing college. His routine was basically going from the studio to university to home. Work, study and sleep, those are the things he usually cares about. So it was nice seeing him going out, meeting you. He's been happier recently and it's nice for them to see him trying to improve himself for you even though they both doubted your intentions at first.

“What do you have in mind?” Chan asks.

“She- hm… she said my hair is too long?” He says, a bit embarrassed.

“We've been telling you this for months”, Changbin whines.

“Well, I think I should get a haircut and buy some new clothes”, Jisung huffs.

“Shouldn't you ask y/n to help you out with that? I'm sure she would love that”, Chan grins.

“I want to surprise her”, the younger one smiles sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

“Okay, then”, Chan nods, “give us time to take a shower-”

“And eat”, Changbin adds.

“And eat, then we can go”, Chan laughs, standing up and walking to his room.

Jisung didn't talk much with you for two straight days, he only answered the texts you sent him and every time you asked if he wanted to meet, he said he had other plans. You started to worry that maybe word got out about your little scene with Seunghoon that day, maybe Jisung got the wrong idea about you socializing with your ex.

You didn't think you would miss him so much, but you kept checking your phone to see if he had texted you and waited until late at night for a call but it never came.

Maybe Jisung could see right through you, under this facade you put on. Maybe he doesn't want someone as lonely as you, someone who needs his warmth to keep going.

You try distracting yourself with anything, staying after practice to train a new routine. After killing some time, you store the things you used for practice and go out.

When you're closing the gymnasium, you feel a familiar presence close to you, making you turn around with a businesslike smile on your face.

“How can I help… you?” You choke on the air you just breathe. “Jisung?” You ask, speechless.

“The one and only”, he chuckles seeing your shocked face.

“What happened?” You even struggle to speak.

He's the same, but different? His hair is shorter, fixed in a nice hairstyle and his clothes are fitting him perfectly, like they were custom made.

“Do you not like it?” He asks, worried, hands patting his body trying to understand where it went wrong.

“No, no!” You blurt out, fast. “I like it, you look really good”, you don't actually have words to describe how delicious he looks, he already had you hot and bothered before, what are you going to do now? It's impossible to not want to jump his bones right this instant.

“Then?” He waits for you to continue, taking a step towards you, making you instantly take a step back. You're not sure if you'll be able to hold yourself back if he gets too close and you don't want the first time you fuck to be in the school's locker room.

“Why did you change?” You ask, trying to think more clearly.

“I'm trying to become boyfriend material for you”, he grabs your hand, holding it with his. “I even made social media accounts”, he smiles.

“But you were already perfect”, you whisper it slowly, brows knit together. Did you make him feel like he wasn't?

He sighs.

“I heard what your ex said that day”, he says, biting his bottom lip. “I don't want you going out of your way to shield me from mean comments, I want people to envy you for dating me, the same as there are dozens of guys that hate me because I got you”, he tilts his head, waiting for you to process what he just said.

“As long as you're not uncomfortable”, you say, trying to find any sign of hesitancy on his face.

“Not at all”, he tells you, “Chan and Binnie helped me buy nice clothes that are comfortable. Also, if I become more popular, It'll help 3racha”, he shrugs.

“Okay”, you nod nervously, not really knowing what to do next.

“Are you sure I look good?” He asks, playfully, seeing the way you're avoiding his eyes. Jisung takes a step closer, making you take a step back once more just for you to bump into the closed doors of the gymnasium. “Oh? Why do I get the feeling that you are thinking about running away?”

“Pff, me?” You scoff, “of course not”, you shake your head frantically.

He tsks, reaching for your waist and wrapping his arm around you.

“You know, a strong denial is like an affirmation in some cases.” Jisung says, bending down to your height, brushing his lips on yours but before you can lose yourself on his hold, you lift your hands pressing them against his chest and pushing him away.

“Can- can you not?” You huff, you can't believe you're even stuttering, you almost gave in. Almost.

You ended up giving in and it didn't take him much to convince you. Jisung was driving and you were anxiously waiting to arrive home, a cold shower and maybe a sex toy would do the trick. Everything was alright until he put his hand on your knee, sliding it up and down on your thigh. Did he get a new personality together with the makeover? He knows exactly what he's doing because he has that damn smirk plastered on his lips.

You didn't change from your cheer uniform since you had no energy and just wanted to get home to anxiously wait for Jisung's contact and now you regret it. It feels a thousand times more painful to have his hands touching the bare skin of your thighs. Each time that his hand comes up it gets closer to your core like he's testing the waters to see where you're willing to let him go.

What he still doesn't seem to know is that you're more than willing to let him go all the way and as soon as his hand gets too close to your throbbing core, you hold your breath as if that could do anything to help.

Jisung plays with the hem of your safety shorts without a care in the world, like he doesn't have you all turned on and your panties are not soaked.

“Stop the car”, you say through gritted teeth.

He glances at you before parking, making you want to rip that shit eating grin off of his face with a punch.

“What's wrong?” He asks cynically, unfastening his seatbelt to turn to you, his hand still caressing your thigh.

“You don't want to go there, Han Jisung”, you tell him, grabbing his arm to try and force his hand to stop touching you.

“Don't I?” He smiles, biting his bottom lip. You look so sexy saying his full name like that and he gets the urge to make you moan it. “I think I do”

“I hate you”, you groan, reaching to grab his collar and pulling him to you, making your mouths crash in a hungry kiss. You missed having him so close to you, his free hand cups your face and Jisung deepens the kiss, feeling your tongue caressing his so eagerly.

His other hand is working its way into your shorts, he's desperate to feel you on his fingers and as soon as he manages to get his hands under your panties, he can already feel your wetness leaking out of your sweet pussy.

“Shit”, he groans, disconnecting his lips from yours. “Are you usually this wet? Or is it just for me?” He asks shamelessly, making your whole face turn red.

You keep silent, trying to breathe normally again. It's embarrassing, how can someone provoke this kind of reaction out of you like this?

He chuckles, a dark deep chuckle while he slides his hand to your head to pull your hair.

“Cat got your tongue, pretty?” He asks, kissing you on the cheek at the same time as he places two fingers inside you, making you whimper. He pouts, tilting his head. “I'm sorry, you are so wet I thought you could handle two”

“Oh”, you feel your breathing out of pace and Jisung starts moving his fingers in and out of you. “J-jisung”, you moan, feeling his thumb circling around your clit. His fingers work fast, in and out of your hole, feeling you clenching around them. You're so tight, he can't wait to feel you around his cock.

His hair is all disheveled, pretty pink lips half open watching you becoming undone right in front of him. You want to stop him, you don't want to give him the satisfaction of ruining you so easily, but he's so handsome, his eyes are looking at you so deeply just waiting for you to come on his fingers.

The moment your whole body trembles, you close your eyes to the pleasure spreading all over you. You glare at him, panting and dizzy, seeing him take his fingers out of you and taking them straight to his mouth, licking them like a starved man.

“You taste as sweet as you look”, he tells you, fastening his seatbelt and starting the car again, driving back to the road like nothing happened.

“What about you?” You ask, seeing his obvious hard on.

“I think we had enough fun for today”, he glances at you, winking. It makes you sink in your seat, feeling your face turning red and the butterflies in your stomach. Jisung hopes you didn't realize that he would cum with a simple touch of yours, if he had your delicate hand around him one more time he wouldn't be able to last long, even less if he could feel your sweet lips on his cock, so he chose to avoid that embarrassment.

You feel excited from the moment you wake up and as a person who doesn't like waking up early that's a very difficult thing to achieve. But when you opened your eyes, groaning and exhausted, you picked up your phone to turn off the alarm just to find a few texts from Jisung saying he would be coming to pick you up.

That definitely left you excited, so you jumped out of the bed, grabbing a towel and running to the bathroom to take a quick shower. After finishing your bath, you get your hair done and choose the cutest clothes you have in your wardrobe.

The moment you go out, you see Jisung waiting for you outside of your house. He's looking good, leaning on his car with his hands in his pockets while he waits for you to walk to him.

“It should be illegal for someone to look this nice at this hour”, you try teasing him, to see if you can make him flustered.

“I was going to say the same”, he answers, checking you out, shamelessly and you are the one with a red face in the end, so you just give him a peck on the lips, trying to hide your embarrassment while getting into the car.

The ride to school is calm, you're nervously anticipating how people are going to act when they see you two, when they see Jisung.

Everyone stops to stare at you, at the same time as you want to hide from the prying eyes, you understand. Honestly, if you saw Han Jisung walking around looking like that you would stop to stare at him too.

He holds your hand, interlacing your fingers and leading you inside, a huge grin on his face, proud that he got the reaction he wanted. This was his plan, he wants you to show him off, he wants you to feel proud to be by his side and more than anything, he wants everyone to know you're his now.

He leaves you in your classroom, giving you a goodbye kiss and promising to find you later so you can have lunch together.

“Who was that?” Mina asks, mouth agape.

“That's Jisung”, you tell her proudly.

“Well, how did you work your magic so fast?” Miyeon asks.

“Will you believe it if I tell you I didn't do a thing?”

“I guess just dating you is enough to change a person”, Mina jokes, making you roll your eyes.

“Should I take that as a compliment?” You ask playfully and she chuckles.

“I guess you'll win the bet more easily than I thought”, she says, sighing, pretending to be disappointed.

“Actually, about that I-”, you fidget with your hands, it's not easy for you to give up and after what you just went through with Seunghoon you surely don't want to admit that what you have with Jisung is more than you could anticipate, it's something special. “I want to call it off, the bet”, you finally say, making your friends exchange glances, confused. “I don't want to play games with him”, you finish, sitting by Miyeon's side.

“Well, I didn't think you would give up so easily”, Mina laughs, “you're such a softie, y/n”

You smile, remembering about Jisung's hands on you earlier this morning, trying not to blush too much.

“I'll win the captain title again fair and square”, you tell Mina, stretching a hand to her so she can shake it. “And about Seunghoon, I don't really care about him anymore”, you shrug.

Mina shakes your hand back proudly, she can see something different in you now and she's happy that maybe you're seeing in yourself all the potential she's been trying to convince you that you have for all these years.

You feel a little bit jealous. Now Jisung can barely walk more than three meters without someone greeting or hitting on him, you're pouting during lunch, playing with your food while he goes on and on about 3racha’s new track.

“Are you listening?” He asks, tilting his head while looking at you.

“I am”, you nod, even though you could barely understand what he was saying.

“You're acting weird again”, he sighs, lifting his hand to your chin and pulling your face so you can look at him. “Talk to me”

“It's nothing”, you are the one sighing now, “I'm just being stupid”

“Tell me then, I'll be the judge of that”, he pushes.

“It's just-” you can't help but sulk while talking, “Those girls were clearly hitting on you earlier and you didn't do anything about it”, you whine, “I'm being stupid because I'm not even sure what I wanted you to do in that situation, even so, I'm still feeling bad and angry”

Jisung can't hold back the big smile that grows on his lips, he leans closer to your face, supporting his elbow on the table.

“Is my baby jealous?”, he asks playfully, with a cute voice, making you pout even harder, crossing your arms.

“Stop that, I'm not”, you say, feeling your cheeks burning because of the pet name.

“If you're not jealous, then can I go and get their numbers?” He tests, making you glare at him. Jisung laughs, embracing you in a hug and kissing the top of your head. “In all seriousness, I didn't even notice they were hitting on me. I was so focused on just answering their questions so I could get the hell out of their sight, I'm sorry I made you feel bad”, he clarifies.

You sigh, wrapping your arms around him and relaxing in his embrace.

“Don't apologize, I was being ridiculous”

Jisung breaths out, pulling away from your embrace and cupping your face with his hands. He stares at you for a few seconds, trying to use the right words to speak to you.

“You should definitely stop invalidating what you feel. What you feel is not ridiculous or stupid”, he gives a peck on your lips, brushing his nose on yours. “You can always tell me about your feelings, I'll always listen to you. So don't say things like that, alright?”

You want to cry, you want to smile, you want to hug him and never let go. So you snuggle in his embrace, nodding and mumbling about how he shouldn't get too close to other girls, making him smile while he kisses the top of your head. What did you do to deserve someone like him?

After finishing your lunch you two get up, carrying your trays back to their place and talking about what ice cream you should buy since you have a free afternoon. However, when you cross the doors to the dining hall, you bump directly into Seunghoon, causing a minute of awkward silence between you three. No apologies, just your ex staring at Jisung like he's trying to win a staring contest or something like that.

“Long time no see, y/n”, Seunghoon smiles to you, as if you didn't basically tell him to fuck off a few weeks ago. “I see you're accompanied, I'm Seunghoon, a friend of y/n”, he stretches his hand to shake Jisung's.

“I know who you are”, Jisung says, shaking the other man's hand. The hostility in the atmosphere is palpable but before you can excuse yourself, Seunghoon's voice is heard once more.

“Y/N promised that she would go on a double date with me and my girlfriend”, he recalls, “now that we are acquainted I feel like we can set a date”, he smiles and if you didn't know him you'd think he's genuinely interested in having a double date with friends.

“Sure, just let me know the day and time and we'll be there”, Jisung answers before you have the chance to deny.

You watch as Seunghoon chuckles, nodding and giving his goodbye. Your stomach sinking in, you have a bad feeling about this.

“What was that about?” You ask Jisung, brows knit together in confusion.

“What was what?”

“Don't play with me, Han Jisung”, you roll your eyes, crossing your arms in front of your chest and he sighs, biting on his bottom lip.

Jisung may or may not have regretted it the moment he accepted without checking with you first, but your ex just makes him so mad. The fact that he's not at least a bit apologetic about what he did to you just doesn't sit right with Jisung, how could he break your heart and nonchalantly show up in front of you asking for a double date with the girl he cheated on you with. Fuck him.

“I'm sorry”, Jisung sighs, sulking. “I should have checked with you but I just felt so angry”

You stare at him for a moment, sighing. That sucks, it seems you can't stay mad at him for too long.

“It's fine, I'm sure he would bother us until we accepted it”, you say, grabbing his arm to force him to carry on your walk. “Shall we go shopping for some couple outfits today?” You smile at him, that's going to be his punishment.

Or at least it should have been, so why does Jisung look so excited with every piece of clothing you try on? He looks very happy to buy things for him but not nearly as much as when he's watching you.

You ended up buying a couple's pajamas and for the date — that Seunghoon didn't lose any time scheduling for Friday — you got a bracelet with a pendant that resembles a ferris wheel, the place you two kissed for the first time.

“Shall we go to the amusement park again?” He asks, raising your hand high enough for him to look at the bracelet.

He sees your eyes shine to that simple mention and he smiles when you nod frantically.

“There were so many rides we didn't get to go because it was too crowded”, you say excitedly, “We have to go on the roller coaster”

“We do?” He chuckles nervously, “that thing is kinda scary”

“Of course we do!” You stop in your tracks, making him look at you. “I'll hold your hand the whole time, so you have nothing to worry about.”

You say, confidently and oddly enough, Jisung feels really reassured with your words.

“Oh, you're my knight in shining armor”, he sighs dramatically. “What would I do without you? Hm?”

He uses the hand he's holding to pull you closer, wrapping his arm around your waist and pressing your bodies against each other. Jisung gives you a peck on the lips, smiling when he sees you blushing.

“You better always keep me close to you”, you tell him, avoiding his eyes. “So I can protect you”

“Mmn”, he agrees, snuggling his face in the crock of your neck, “I'll keep you always in arm's length”

The dreadful Friday arrives too fast, when neither you or Jisung wanted it to come. You try not to think too much about the way you're dressed, you don't want your ex to think you dressed up for him. Jisung on the other hand, wants to look his best so Seunghoon can swallow back all the things he said about you, knowing that you did in fact find someone better.

“Ready?” He asks you when you get into the car.

“Can't we just stand them up?” You ask, hopeful, while fastening your seatbelt.

“Let's just stay for thirty minutes, then I can pretend I received a call and we have to go”, he grabs your hand and kisses it, “how does that sound?”

“Sounds good”, you nod, smiling at him. But that damn feeling that something just isn't right keeps bothering you.

Jisung drives slowly, trying to avoid the unavoidable. It should be fine, nothing is gonna go wrong, it's just anxiety trying to make him paranoid.

Seunghoon chose a fancy restaurant, Jisung is only used to going to places like that when he meets someone from the label, together with Chan and Changbin. He doesn't really like fancy places, he wanted to take you there on a date because he thought that was something you would like but in the end you're not into that either.

“I should probably tell you right now that this restaurant is where Seunghoon asked me to be his girlfriend”, you tell Jisung as soon as he parks in front of the place your double date is supposed to happen.

“What?” Jisung asks, confused.

“I didn't want to believe before we actually arrived but I knew I recognized that address when you showed it to me”, you explain. “I think he just wants to brag, he'll try to get under your skin for sure. Maybe he'll try to talk about the time we dated, that would be a dick move since his girlfriend is gonna be there but he is a dick so I don't expect less from him”, you start to ramble nervously.

“It's okay, you're with me now”, he reassures you one more time, grabbing your hand and squeezing it, “we are gonna go there, hear whatever he has to say and in thirty minutes we are out and we can even go to a real date just the two of us”, Jisung tilts his head waiting for your confirmation and you nod, leaning closer and kissing him.

“That sounds great, you are great”, you tell him

Awkward, stifling, suffocating. Those are the words that better describe how the dinner began on that night. Seunghoon was late but his girlfriend was already there so you had to awkwardly sit there with the girl your ex boyfriend cheated on you with. You are a good person and you don't want to cause a scene, especially because you don't really care about your ex anymore so you feel a bit grateful to this girl who took that bomb away from you.

“I liked your stunt on the last game”, she says, sheepishly while picking on her nails.

“Ah, yes. We worked for three months to come up with that one”, you answer, sipping on your cup of water and cursing Seunghoon in your mind. Where the hell is he?

Except that when Seunghoon waltzed inside the restaurant, you knew exactly why he was late. The look of utter disappointment on his face told you everything you needed to know, he wanted you two to fight over him. You wanna laugh. Did he really expect to come in late just to find his ex and current girlfriend grabbing each other by the hair or yelling at each other? What a fucking loser.

He probably didn't expect to see Jisung's arms wrapped around your waist, leaning so close to you or the whispers and giggles that were never common in your relationship with him.

“Where have you been?” His girlfriend asks while he sits down but he doesn't even look at her, eyes fixed on you and Jisung.

“Something happened”, he brushes off, vaguely. “Let's order?”

You and Jisung exchange confused looks, nodding to him.

“Oh, this is the place where we started dating, right?” Seunghoon asks, after the waiter takes your order, pretending like he didn't know about it when he set the date there.

“Yeah”, you sigh, eyeing Jisung, already knowing where your ex was trying to go with that.

“You loved the pasta here, why didn't you order that?” He asks and you glance at his girlfriend who's glaring at him.

“I didn't like the pasta, you did”, you sigh, feeling Jisung's pulling you a little closer to him, making you look at him to see the man smiling at you. You release the air you didn't even notice you were holding and you realize how stiff your whole body is, why does Seunghoon make you so nervous? It didn't feel this way the other day when you met him by yourself. It's just that you have the feeling that he has an ulterior motive to this dinner, other than just bragging about his new relationship.

He looks mad at your answer, even more mad because of how close Jisung is to you. You used to be like that with him, grasping at the slightest bit of affection he would give you. He thought you would come back to him eventually, Seunghoon thought you would forgive him, would depend on him once more so why didn't you? Why don't you need him anymore?

“I heard something funny”, he grabs everyone's attention suddenly. “Heard that you're only dating him because of a bet?” He sneers.

Your heart stops at that moment.

“What?” You ask, immediately turning to Jisung who looks frozen, staring at Seunghoon.

“Yeah, one of my friends heard the funniest conversation in one of his classes”, he laughs, “I’m sure you already know about it, right?” He asks Jisung, raising a brow in amusement.

Jisung starts to shake, he can't look at you, not right now. But he also can't let Seunghoon win, it would be too humiliating for the both of you.

“Yeah, I knew about it”, he lies, feeling the least bit satisfied with the annoyed groan Seunghoon lets out. “I think you should start treating your girl better rather than taking care of y/n’s relationship”, he finishes, standing up. “I lost my appetite, let's go”, Jisung tells you, stretching his hand so you can hold it but his eyes don't look into yours.

Jisung doesn't say a word to you until he parks in front of your house and you were too scared to start the conversation but when he kept quiet even after ten minutes, only staring at the wheel in his hands, you couldn't take it anymore.

“I know I should have told you before, I-”

“So he was telling the truth?” He looks at you for the first time in the last hour and you wish he didn't, the hurt in his eyes makes your chest feel like someone is squeezing your heart. “You are low”, he spits.

You feel tears brimming in your eyes, you know you deserve that but at the same time you could never have imagined him treating you this way.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry”, the tears start running down your face, “it started as a bet but I called it off, I swear” you try grabbing his hand so he can look at you but he snatches himself out of your grasp, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking outside. He's afraid he'll cry if he looks at you, he's scared he'll give in if he so much as glances at you.

“I need to think”, it's the only thing he says.

“Jisung, please, hear me out”, you plead once more but he doesn't look at you.

“I don't want to hear anything right now”, he tells you, stretching his body over yours to open your door, waiting for you to get out.

You step out of the car, glancing at him over and over, expecting him to change his mind but he doesn't and you watch as the car disappears far away on the road.

You only let yourself cry after closing the door to your room, even though there's no one else home, you still feel like you need to lock yourself up so you can feel anything.

You're such an idiot, you should have told him about the bet but it was something so meaningless that it didn't even cross your mind that you should come clean to him, in your head everything that mattered was that you liked him and that you called the bet off but you didn't take into consideration that he would feel hurt about that and that's what hurts the most.

You always talk about how Seunghoon did bad things to you, that he didn't have any regard towards you, but did you have any towards Jisung? You waltzed into his life, put him in the spotlight and made him open himself to you, but you couldn't take the time to think about how hurt he would feel if he found out about the circumstances that made you like him in the first place.

You feel guilty about everything, you wish you could turn back time and change everything but you can't, you can't go back and you can't make it up to him, you have to wait for him to forgive you or in the worst case scenario, for him to dump you and that hurts too much.

Jisung knew someone like you wouldn't like someone like him just because you thought he was cute, he knew that there was something behind your sweet words and harsh moves on him but he chose to ignore every signal, every flag and every warning his mind pointed out because he wanted to believe you. Jisung wanted to let himself like you, he wanted to be the one to protect you, the one whom you would call on every minor inconvenience you run into but in the end, he should have been the one being protected from you.

He can't believe he let himself fall for you, why would you even like him? At least he thought you did, he thought you felt happy when you were with him. Lies, everything was a huge lie and he wants to punch himself for letting you make a fool out of him like that.

A week goes by without news of Jisung, you see him walking through the school's corridors but you're too scared to approach him so you just watch as he keeps his routine everyday, like nothing happened, like you were never in his life.

Mina and Miyeon are making shifts to stay with you, if they don't you won't eat properly and you only sleep when the exhaustion is so much your body can't handle it anymore. You're scared he'll end things, but you're ready to beg if he tries too, you know Jisung is worth begging for.

On one of the rare moments you find yourself alone, you try to stay away from everyone else who are not your close friends. You're hiding in the building where Jisung has his classes, in hopes that you can see at least a glimpse of his face.

“Where have you been?” You hear an annoying voice right behind you, making you sigh while you turn around to see Seunghoon with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “You disappeared after our double date, did your new boyfriend really know about your bet?” He chuckles, making you want to punch him in the face. This is all his fault, if he didn't open his filthy mouth to say those things to Jisung you could have come clean to him and maybe this whole incident could have been avoided.

“Fuck you, Seunghoon”, you lose you composure, not really caring about winning this one, you just want to curse at him. “You cheated on me and then you tried to ruin my relationship and for what? Leave me the hell alone”, you spit out, walking past him but before you can go further you feel his grasp on your wrist, forcing you to turn around.

“You used to adore me, y/n, you were supposed to forget about everything and just stay with me so why did you rebel?”

“Oh, for fucks sake, I never ‘adored’ you, I just treated you like a good girlfriend should treat her boyfriend even though you have never done the same to me”, you try shaking your arm away from him but he doesn't let go. “I'm sick and tired of you, let go of me right now”, you pull your arm again with all your strength but he's grabbing you so strongly it's starting to hurt.

“Let's start over, yeah? I'll be good to you this time”, he asks, like he didn't hear anything you said.

“I have someone I really like now, nothing you do is gonna change that’, you groan, feeling your wrist sore. “I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore, just forget about me”

“Why do you always make everything so difficult-”, he tries to drag you away from the prying eyes who are starting to watch the scene unfolding, but you feel hands on your shoulders steadying you in place. Jisung walks in front of you, pushing Seunghoon and forcing him to let go of you.

“This doesn't concern you”, your ex says through gritted teeth.

“If it concerns y/n, it concerns me”, Jisung answers.

“Just because you got a little popular you think you can come up against me?” Seunghoon scoffs, coming closer to Jisung, challenging him.

“You're an idiot if you think you can just grab someone's girlfriend like that and don't get in trouble”, Jisung says, “if you have anything to discuss with her you can talk to me first”

“Don't be ridiculous, we can talk like grown ups. Right, y/n?” Seunghoon tries to come to you, but Jisung grabs him by the collar.

“Don't even fucking try”, Jisung glares at him, “if you get close to her one more time you're not gonna be able to play your next game”, he finishes, letting go of Seunghoon and pushing him away from you.

Seunghoon huffs and puffs but he knows he can't get into trouble if he wants to stay on the football team, so he curses you for the last time before turning around and walking away.

“Are you okay?” Jisung asks, looking around.

“Yeah, I'm fine”, you say, stepping closer to him but that's when you notice he's not looking at you and he's not even trying to hide that. “Thank you for helping me”, stepping back and stroking your wrist which hurts like hell. You want to cry but it's not from the pain coming from there, it's from the immeasurable ache coming from your chest.

“It's nothing”, he sighs, “try not to stay alone for now, you should stop coming here too”, he says, nodding to you before he's gone, walking away from you. Leaving you there, feeling empty.

“Should I be worried?” Chan asks Changbin, as soon as he sees the number of empty cans thrown in the center table in the living room. Jisung is seated on the floor looking at the TV but clearly not watching, he's just staring at it with an empty gaze.

“He's been like that since yesterday”, Changbin sighs, leaning over the kitchen counter while watching his younger friend open another can of beer. “You would have know if you had come back home”

“So, on the only night I sleep in my girlfriend's house, Han turns into an alcoholic?” Chan asks, ironically.

“He's been weird for a few days, I think he fought with y/n”, Changbin says, “I knew there was something going on.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“I tried, but he won't answer my questions or just sighs randomly while I'm talking”

“I'll try talking to him”, Chan says, looking at his friend who just shrugs, going back to wash the dishes.

The older one gets closer slowly, sitting on the couch and looking at Jisung for a moment, trying to see if he'll acknowledge his presence but it doesn't happen, the younger one doesn't even move.

“Hey, are you alright?” Chan asks, but there's no answer to his question. “Look, you know you can talk to us about anything, right?” He tries again, but still receives no answer, so he snatches Jisung's beer out of his hand, receiving a frustrated grunt from his friend.

“Give it back”, Jisung finally lets out.

“Talk to me”, Chan pleads.

“There's nothing to talk about”, Jisung shrugs. He should end things with you, even if it hurts, that's what he should do, right?

“Clearly there's something going on”, Chan says, “I won't leave you alone until you talk and you know I can be really annoying when I want to”

Jisung sighs, he knows that very well.

“She only asked me out because of a bet”, Jisung says, “y/n, I mean”

Chan sucks through his teeth, that's not a nice thing to do. But he can't really judge her when he did something similar when he started seeing his girlfriend, so he'll have to play devil's advocate this time.

“She ended things with you then? Because the bet is over or something like that?” He tries to push to know a bit more.

“No, her ex told me”, Jisung says, continuing when Chan frowns in confusion, “he was trying to get under my skin so we would fight”

“What about y/n?”

“She said she called it off and that she likes me”, he chuckles, “I don't believe her”

“Why not?” Chan asks, still confused. “Look, Han, what she did is shitty, okay? That's not open for discussion, but why are you doubting that she likes you? Shouldn't she use this opportunity to get out of this relationship now that you found out about the bet? Why would she lie about it? It doesn't make sense”, Chan points out.

“Why would someone like her like someone like me? I'm no one”, Jisung cries out, he knows Chan is right but he just can't let himself fall for your trap again, he can't handle it if you break his heart a second time.

“Now you're only letting your self doubt talk, what do you mean you're no one?” Chan sighs, “you're a great friend, you're smart and you're part of 3racha, you're talented as hell, Binnie and I would be nothing without you”, Chan says.

“Yeah, but she's so wonderful”, Jisung sighs, “she's kind and smart, she's funny and cute, she's the prettiest girl I have ever got to know”

“Did she ever tell you that you weren't those things too?”

“No”, the younger one looks at Chan with puppy eyes. “But still, why would she make a bet to date me if I wasn't a loser?”

“You should ask her that yourself”, Chan shrugs. “You know I did some questionable things to date my girl and I'm not proud of that, but I love her with all my heart. In the end, maybe what's important is what's on her heart right now and not when it started”

When you receive Jisung's text telling you he wants to meet up, you feel relieved. He's finally gonna talk to you but at the same time you feel anxious, he's very vague about what you're going to talk about so you can't ignore the possibility of him ending things.

You set the date in your house, you don't want to go to a public place just to end up a crying mess in front of everyone there. So you wait patiently until Jisung arrives, you bite all your nails, clean everything that can be cleaned even though it's already impeccable, you do anything that can ease your anxiety and make you less nervous.

Three knocks on the door make you jump from the couch, running to the entrance and opening the door in a fast swing.

You missed Jisung's face, his round cheeks look smaller than the last time you saw him and the eyebags under his eyes are huge. You are no different from that, you know you lost weight since your cheer uniform is big on you and you're breaking out in pimples because of the stress.

“Hi”, you say, awkwardly, giving space for him to enter.

“Hey”, he answers, waiting for you to guide him to wherever you want to talk.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Should you have offered? It's something you always do when you have guests.

“I'm good”, he answers again. “Can we cut to the chase?” He turns to you, arms crossed in front of his chest. That doesn't sound good, he doesn't look like he forgave you.

“Yeah”, you nod, bracing yourself for what's to come.

“Was everything a lie?” Jisung asks, biting his bottom lip. “Was anything you ever said real?”

“Yes it was, almost everything”, you take a step closer to him but he takes a step back, not ready to be so close to you yet. “Everything started as a bet, I wanted to make someone better than Seunghoon so I could make him jealous”, you sigh, feeling like an idiot.

“It was your idea?” He asks, staring at you.

“No, it was not my idea but I accepted it anyway”, you shake your head. “I know it's stupid, I know it is. But I fell in love with you and when I realized I didn't want to hurt you I called the bet off”, you explain.

“And when was that?”

“Three weeks ago”

He sighs, walking around for a minute, trying to think.

“How am I supposed to trust you now?” He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to rationalize, trying to find an excuse for you, so he can forgive you.

“You are-”, a sob leaves your lips as soon as you start talking, tears running down your cheeks, you didn't even notice you were crying. “You're the first person who ever showed me what love really is”, you try to explain.

“So, do you like me or do you like the way I make you feel?” He whispers, eyes pleading for your answer to not destroy the little bit of hope he still has on you.

“I like y- I love you”, you try holding his hands once more. “I never thought I could love someone the way I love you, Jisung. I love everything about you, I sleep thinking about you and I wake up thinking about you. When I'm eating something nice I always ask myself if you already ate or if you would like what I'm having. When I'm out having fun I always wish you were there with me. Whenever we go to different classes I miss you immediately and I count every second so I can see you again”, you squeeze his hand. “I’m not asking for you to forgive me right now but please don't leave me, please stay with me”, you plead, feeling the tears running down your face.

Jisung's heart breaks from listening to your cries and sobs, he wants to save his pride and leave you for good. But he can't, Jisung is so in love with you right now that even the thought of staying away from you hurts much more than how he hurt because of what you did.

So he kisses you, his hands cup your face as usual, like nothing ever happened, like you never stayed apart. You missed his warmth, his lips, his hands on your body, everything.

“I missed you”, you tell him, wrapping your arms around his waist, ready to never let go again.

“I missed you too”, he sighs, “and I love you too”

“I'm so sorry, I swear I'll never do anything to hurt you ever again”, you grasp his shirt, bringing him even closer to you.

He knows he shouldn't feel reassured by your promise, how could he? But he does, he's just stupid but that's the effect you have on him.

You sit together and you tell him everything. Why you started a bet and why you chose him, when you started to like him and why you didn't tell him about the whole situation before.

You also talk about how terrible it was for the both of you to stay apart for so long, how you were ready to beg him to forgive you and that made him laugh, that's something he could never imagine you doing.

In the end you're both exhausted. Days without sleeping properly finally come back to bite the both of you on the ass so you invite Jisung to stay over, needing to stay close to him more than usual. You two stare at each other for a moment while laying down together, you can't even believe he forgave you and that he's there with you.

Jisung brushes off the strands of hair falling over your eyes, caressing your cheek before leaning closer to kiss you for the last time before the both of you give in to the deep slumber that's waiting.

“I love you”, he whispers when you close your eyes, making you smile like an idiot.

“I love you too”, you say back to him, letting yourself fall into unconsciousness.

When the light coming through the windows hits your eyes, you start waking up, slowly trying to look around just to see a sleepy Jisung with his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He looks pretty even when he's sleeping, pouting a bit while he breathes quietly.

You can't hold yourself, so you lean closer giving a peck on his cheek.

“Hannie, wake up”, you whisper seeing his eyes flutter and his pout grows bigger.

“Just five more minutes”, he asks, pulling you even closer to him.

You sigh, deciding to let him sleep but when you try to get up the hold he has on your waist gets stronger.

“Where are you going?” He asks, opening his eyes.

“I was going to make some breakfast”, you say, watching him shaking his head and snuggling closer to you.

“No, I don't wanna. Stay here with me”, he whines.

“But what are we gonna eat?”

“We can order something”, he kisses your cheek, trailing kisses to your mouth and then to your neck, biting and sucking on the skin making you giggle and squirm in his embrace.

Jisung chuckles, kissing you. It's a slow, familiar kiss, one of his hands cupping your face and the other holds your waist pulling you closer. You put your hand on his hip, trying to find stability because you feel dizzy with his scent and his lips on you.

He parts the kiss so you both can breathe, but he keeps landing pecks on your jaw, neck and collarbone. His hands land on the rem of your shirt, he looks at you waiting for your permission and you nod, watching as he instantly pulls the piece of fabric out of you. Jisung bites his lower lip, staring down at your breasts, you look so beautiful he thinks that maybe he died and went to heaven.

The man leans closer, licking on your hard nipples, making you suck through your teeth, feeling his hot breath hit on your cold skin.

“Fuck”, you mutter when he bites lightly on the spot. Jisung chuckles, feeling your hands grabbing on his arms and your nails gripping on his skin. He keeps going down, leaving warm and wet kisses down your stomach, finding the waistband of your pajama pants and giving a kiss on both the sides of your hips before pulling the piece of clothing down.

He stares at your panties for a moment, it has bees printed on it and that makes him laugh.

“Do you like bees that much?” He asks, pulling the fabric down while he watches you squirm in embarrassment. You didn't think you'd have sex first thing in the morning so you didn't bother changing to something more sexy. You slap the palm of your hands in front of your eyes, covering your face. “You're cute”, he says, pulling your underwear down and kissing your right knee, then the left, “and so pretty.” You take one of your hands out of your eyes just to see Jisung staring right to your core. He's getting comfortable on the bed, positioning your legs over his shoulders while he grabs your hips with his hands to keep you in place.

Jisung doesn't lose time, kissing the inside of your thighs before licking your pussy, a long and wet strand that makes you immediately want to close your legs but his hands won't let you move. He slides one of his hands in between your legs, pressing a digit over your clit and then inserting the same finger inside you. Jisung sucks on your clit, circling the bud with his tongue while you stare at him, your bottom lip stuck between your teeth with so much strength it could draw blood.

“I can't get enough of your taste”, he says, using his free hand to clean around his mouth, licking his fingers soon after. “Can you handle another finger, baby?” He asks, cockily while you throw your head back, nodding frantically.

Jisung inserts a second finger, going back to suck on your sweet pussy, he feels like he could cum just by eating you out. His hip starts moving by itself while he searches for some friction, humping on the bed.

“Sungie”, you let out, hands landing on his head while you pull it closer to your cunt. “I'm close”, you squirm, feeling his tongue working faster and his fingers reaching places you never could. The knot on your stomach keeps growing until you feel like seeing stars, your legs shake uncontrollably and you moan loudly, eyes screwed shut.

Jisung groans, satisfied, it's so good to feel you cumming in his mouth, he could stay between your legs forever.

He trails kisses back to you, kissing your lips with such hunger you're not sure where it's coming from. You can feel your taste in his mouth and that only adds to the arousal you are still feeling even after an orgasm.

You look at his swollen lips and disheveled hair, thinking he's the prettiest man you have ever seen in your entire life. Your hands go to the rem of his shirt and in a swift move, you get it out of him, staring at his upper body like someone starved. You smirk, pushing him down so you can lean over him, doing the same as he did to you and trailing kisses down his jaw and neck, chest and stomach, until you see the path to your happiness. You pull his pants down, underwear going together, his hard cock springs hitting on his stomach, the head leaking with pre-cum, making you lick your lips, salivating just with the thought of all of that in your mouth.

You look at Jisung, he's waiting patiently for you to do something, anything and you like the feeling of having him in that place, wanting to be satisfied by you. You lean over, licking at his shaft from the base to the head before putting everything inside your mouth.

You can't feet all of him, so you grab the base stroking it up and down on the parts your mouth can't reach.

“Oh my god”, you hear his whimper, smiling to yourself because you're the one provoking that reaction out of him. You keep sucking on his cock, looking at him, Jisung has his head thrown back, lips slightly apart but he struggles to keep watching you, the image of you sucking on him is just too much for him, you're just too sexy, he can't handle it.

Jisung can feel his release approaching, he taps on your shoulder trying to catch your attention while you're so concentrated in sucking him off.

“I'm gonna cum”, he manages to let out but rather than stopping, you suck him even harder and stroking his cock with more resolution. In a moment you feel his hot cum spreading all over your mouth, making you smile while you swallow everything, opening your mouth and showing your tongue to him.

You come closer to him, kissing him the same as he did to you and he can feel his taste on your tongue.

“Fuck, you're so hot”, he says as soon as he splits the kiss between the two of you.

“It's all for you”, you whisper, leaning close to his ear. Jisung smiles, you're going to make him go insane.

“Do you have any condoms?” He asks, hastily, grabbing you by the hips and making you sit on his lap. You nod, leaning over the nightstand to open the drawer, showing him the package.

“But I'm on birth control”, you tell him, blushing. You never asked to be fucked raw before, you and your ex always used protection even though he protested a lot about it. “I'm clean, I got tested after I found out about the cheating”, you complete. It would be embarrassing if Jisung refused but it doesn't hurt to ask. All you want is to feel his cock inside you.

“A-are you sure?” He asks, correcting himself when you tilt your head in confusion, brows knit together. “I mean, are you sure about not using protection?” He completes and you nod.

“I trust you”, you kiss the tip of his nose, making his heart flutter. Just the thought of fucking you raw managed to make his semi erection turns into a full hard on in a second.

“Okay”, he nods, throwing the package away while he sits down. Jisung gives a few strokes on his cock before you position yourself over him, he puts the tip on your entrance holding his breath as soon as he feels your wet walls around him. “Shit, you're so tight”, his hands land on your hips, helping you go down on his length.

It hurts a little, he's bigger than average so the burning sensation is not surprising to you, even though you were well prepared it still is an intrusion.

“You're the one who's big”, you tell him, biting on his shoulder as soon as you manage to fit all of him inside of you. You stay still for a moment, catching your breath. When your hips start moving it feels so good, it's almost indescribable, the amount of places he can reach is ridiculous, you want to have his cock inside of you all day.

Your pussy is just so good, Jisung can't help gripping your hips more tightly, encouraging you to move faster. He thrusts his hips against you, spitting on his fingers and sliding his hand down to your clit, making circles there while he watches you riding him with your eyes closed shut, feeling your high closer and closer. He's no different, your flattering walls squeezing him are too much for him, he feels like he can cum anytime now.

Jisung kisses you, feeling you moan loudly against his lips, you grip his shoulder burying your nails on his skin and that only makes him crazier. He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, going deeper inside of you. You throw your head back, not able to hold in any longer. Your moans are music to Jisung's ears, he's sure he can cum just by hearing you so it's no surprise when he reaches his orgasm, shooting his seed inside you.

“Fuck”, he groans, movements faltering. You watch as he leans on you, head resting on your chest. That's what's necessary for you to cum and you are almost not able to breathe normally after the intensity of that orgasm.

Jisung helps you lie down on the bed, getting comfortable by your side while he snuggles himself close to you.

“I love you”, that's what he says, looking at you with loving eyes and there's nothing more running through his mind other than how much he loves you.

“I love you too”, you giggle happily, giving a peck on his lips. “I'll need a whole day to recover from this, though”, you tease.

“What do you mean? You better be ready for another round”, he answers, smiling and kissing you. You better brace yourself.

[End]

———

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

Taglist: @rockstrhanji @angelsquid @feelikecinderella @realrintaro @bomi-ja @sasiiidumpling @itshannjisung @whyisaah @weareapackofstrays @kkamismom12 @soonie1010 @bberymi @minleemin @ayejaii

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howdoesagrapewrites · 10 months

Note

Hello

I really really loved your yandere poly pavitr

And I was wondering if you could write a situation where the reader noticed the crazy behaviour and try’s to escape them or they have a big fight about it and they try to get them back or comfort reader?

𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢

Cw: yandere, reader x lovesick!Pavitr Prabhakar x lovesick!Gayatri Singh, angst, hurt/comfort, arguing, unhealthy relationships

Notes: this happens after the reader tried to escape in Bound by Webs

Yellow wallpaper. Yellow wallpaper with little flowers decorating it. Yellow wallpaper with around 5,128 flowers decorating it, you couldn't settle on the exact number. Yellow wallpaper with 5,128 little flowers decorating it, and a clock that sometimes seems to be broken. You also tried to look at other details in your room, but nothing seemed as comforting as counting flowers, you didn't have to think of anything else, except keeping in mind the exact number you had until then, otherwise you'd have to start again. There was something about counting flowers in the yellow wallpaper that felt more normal, that felt better than going outside of your room to see what your life had become after that day in the alley.

You had needs, so you ate, you drank water, you interacted, but your captors didn't take rejection kindly and you didn't take kindly to being woken up from your daydreams. So of course fights broke often, mostly with Gayatri, Pavitr refused to engage with you entirely when you were trying to communicate all the distress you were in, that angered you even more. One day you just snapped and slapped him, his cheek now red and starting to swell, you wished this would wake him up from his delusions, that he would express some sort of clarity, even if it was to hurt you, you longed for the unmistakably human response of wrath, confusion, sadness, something, something that would make him see things as they are. But he just rubbed his cheek slightly, and kissed your forehead while holding your wrists.

"It's okay, you'll feel better soon, I know you didn't mean that" He left the room and closed the door, not even slamming it, you screamed in frustration, where's your boyfriend? Where's the man you feel in love with? The one that's funny, witty, sassy, charming, kind of a nerd, full of energy, he was so many beautiful things, and now he acts like a dog, he only ever wants to be close to you or Gayatri, you don't even know if he's spiderman anymore, if there's anything left of him.

You screamed and cried, but none of them came, you don't even know if that's a blessing or a curse. You understand why this is happening, it's because you tried to escape, because you deceived them, you manipulated them. You're the boy who cried wolf.

Sometimes you are numb, and all you can think about is how you should try to escape again, complete apathy to anything but survival, but there another times when guilt completely washes over you, when Gayatri's words repeat over and over, like a broken record. "If we're monsters, you are too, and you need to accept it." Gayatri did have a point, you weren't at all that normal, not after all you've experienced, and you cling to those last remainings of sanity, you tell yourself how you're supposed to react, to act, how a normal person should react in a situation like this, but it's getting tiring, and confusing. But you were too scared to let go of it, you felt like you're clinging on a tiny float at open sea, you are sure you'll be swallowed by the wild waves at any time, but prefer to have a slower, more difficult death, to fight the inevitable instead of letting go and peacefully letting the waters envelop you like a blanket. When you're not in that situation, it's easy to think you shouldn't dwell on it, you die either way, but now, it's the decision that will change the course of your life, and you can only take one route.

"I made your favorite" Pavitr placed a plate of a delicious looking dinner in front of you, you forced a smile and tried to not look at it like eating was a chore.

"love, why don't you tell me about your day?" He cheerily asked Gayatri

"Not much, I was waiting for you and doing some work stuff on my laptop" she complied with the small talk and continued the meaningless exchange, her pupils seemed heart shaped when she looked at Pavitr, she used to look at you that way too.

You were busy with your excessive chewing of the food, hoping it'd get you hungry, but at the third bite you couldn't do it anymore. "I'm sorry, I can't" you looked at Pavitr with shame, knowing that in his altered perception of reality, you just needed tender love and care so you'd "get back to health"

He nodded and tried to motivate you to eat a little more, even if it was slower, he was interrupted. "Don't you start now, Y/N. All Pav is trying to do is give us a nice dinner, and you can't stop acting like a brat" Gayatri was harsh on you now, ever since your escape attempt, she struggled to trust you again, but you knew she missed you, you heard her breathing outside the closed door of your room when you were counting flowers, and she kept preparing your chai the way you liked it, even if she always found it too sweet, Gayatri loved you and missed you, but she was hurt by you, she was defensive and wanted to send a message: she wasn't easy to manipulate, you couldn't play her for a fool again.

You felt your tears start to dampen your cheeks, Pavitr glared at his girlfriend. "I really don't want to, I don't want to act like this. I don't want to cause you any more pain, but my instincts keep telling me to run away, that this is wrong, that I'm in danger." Your voice breaks, and even with this sharp pain inside your chest, you feel relieved to voice this, you look at Gayatri, talking directly to her. "I'm not a good liar, all that time, I did enjoy every minute we were together, but all my subconscious yells to me is that I should hate you, and I don't know who to trust anymore" you look at Pavitr "I hate when you act like I'm crazy, but maybe you were right, maybe I do want to stay here, and all this running away nonsense is just that, nonsense. I-" you wanted to keep going, you could go on for hours, but you didn't have the strength, both Pavitr and Gayatri stood up from their seats and hugged you, you cried it all out, all you couldn't express, you blurted out muffled sounds of "I'm sorry", "I don't want it" but most importantly "I love you". You loved them, it so hard not to, even as you thought you were escaping, you couldn't convince yourself not to love them, you stopped crying and saw Gayatri's heart eyes, you knew you were far too deep in to escape. You would love them even as the void consumes them. The salty water of your tears tasted just like the dangerous open sea, you let go of the float and the water baptises you, rebirths you. You kissed both of them like it was the first time, and then you ate a bite of Pavitr's food. Exquisite.

#atsv x reader #atsv pavitr #gayatri singh #pavitr prabhakar #pavitr x gayatri #pavitr x reader #gayatri x reader #pavitr prabhakar x reader #spiderverse pavitr #pavitr headcanons #pavitr x you #pavitr prabhakar x you #yandere spiderverse #yandere pavitr #yandere pavitr prabhakar #yandere Pavitr Prabhakar x reader

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poisonousroxstar · 10 months

Text

Imagine:

Platonic Yandere Spider-man/Miguel O'Hara with a Mami!Spider!Reader

Plot Summery: Platonic Miguel O'hara with a spider-person that's like Mami from Madoka Magica (the TV series mainly) This Contains: ‼️MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE MADOKA MAGICA TV SERIES & ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE‼️ Major character deaths (reader death/character death), angst, yandere themes, violence. Not proofread. Note(s): Although the show focuses around magical girls, this is meant to GN!! I just loved the movies (watched them both for the first time) and had to write about it!

Miguel would be a very protective and controlling yandere. He's afraid something will happen to you, as it has many times before. You're not sure when it happened, but Miguel grew extremely attached to you. Perhaps you've been with him for an incredibly long time, or maybe your kind and friendly yet brave facade have warmed his walled heart. Either way, Miguel has become very overprotective. He refuses to let anything happen to you.

That said, your skills, magical abilities, strategic mindset, and leadership skills make you one of his best. So oftentimes, but reluctantly, he'll send you off on missions to ensure the steady flow of Canon Events in different universes, as well as other tasks. You're extremely efficient in your role, and while it does sadden you to watch it happen, you trust Miguel's judgement. He doesn't put you on missions he knows you won't be able to handle, and you're almost always guaranteed to not to encounter any other magical girls/boys on your missions.

Miguel knows you need Grief Seeds to cleanse your Soul Gem after using your magic, but that doesn't change the fact he hates when you go off to go hunt down witches. It terrifies him actually. He knows you're more then capable, but that doesn't erase the fear, so he'll oftentimes either accompany you or have someone go with you just to be safe. He will also pester you to use your Grief Seed when you need it, and probably hordes a bunch just in case.

Miguel knows about witches, how they're really magical girls/boys who had their gems corrupted. How they're just used and discarded by the incubators. And he knows how fragile your mind is. So for that, he makes sure to control the information that gets fed to you.

Miguel despises Kyubey and has tried, and failed at, getting rid of him. Not only does he know that Kyubey is using you, but he's jealous that you're so attentive and kind to it. How you care about it like a close friend. If only you knew, but Miguel won't ever dare to tell you the truth of Kyubey. He just tries to keep you away from him as much as he can.

The only peace he ever has is when you're enjoying a wonderful teatime together, preferably (almost strictly) when it's just you and him. The delicious tea, desserts, and your pleasantness is a fresh breath of air for Miguel every time. It's the only time that he's ever felt so… at peace. So content in this little bubble you both share. For just a moment, he can forget the ripping multiverse.

It's moments like these that make everything he's doing and has done worth it. You're a lonely person, so having a constant like Miguel in your life is absolutely welcomed. Miguel is also a lonely man, even if he doesn't say it aloud. You're both alone, but you have each other. And for Miguel, that's absolutely perfect.

Miguel really loves you. He absolutely does, although it can be hard at times for him to express it. Just know he loves you so much. And hopefully nothing happens to you, because Miguel wouldn't be able to handle it.

Angst Below Cut

If you do end up meeting your tragic end, however. Miguel is broken even more. He worked so hard to make sure you were happy, safe, and that your Soul Gem was clean. He did so much, but it wasn't enough to save you.

If you died, it's likely the shock at meeting a witch who actually counters you is too much of a shock for you to act in time. If Miguel is with you during this, then no doubt his instincts kick in before yours does. But it's too late, your head is in the jaw of the witch, your Soul Gem is shattered, and your body is devoured. The look of devastation on his face is heartbreaking, but it is quickly replaced with a need for revenge. He's not thinking clearly when he goes to attack the witch. All he wants is blood. And he will get it.

If you eventually learn the truth about magical girls/boys, how they're destined to be witches, and how Miguel had been withholding that knowledge to you, you break. And you go on a rampage, killing countless spider-men/women in your path in effort to save the innocent, having lost your mind to insanity. Miguel tries to calm you down, tries to reason with you, but it's no use. You're not listening, and worse yet you're trying to kill him too.it doesn't help that, while your mind is fracture, you're still a strategist. If Miguel is forced to kill you, he would never forgive himself. He'll never forget crushing your Soul Gem in his hands, and watching as your body went absolutely limp. He feels disgusted in himself.

If you become a witch, Miguel can't bring himself to kill you. He can't do it, so he locks you up in one of his cages instead. A part of him knows that you're not there anymore, that you're just a monster now. But the rest of him either denies this reality, choosing to instead believe you're still ib there, or simply can't bring itself to finish you off. He watches as your witch form behaves in such a similar kind and inviting manner, although he knows the wickedness behind its welcoming ribboney arms. It hurts.

In either of these scenarios, Miguel doesn't get a happy ending. Either situation just scars him badly, makes him colder, more irrational in his anger. He'll never be the same, not without his baby.

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lnnlove · 1 year

Text

You’re Hurt?

For Elriel Month 2023

Prompt #2 - Language of Love: acts of service, physical touch & words of affirmation

@elriel-month

Summary: Elain finds an injured Az and tends to him. Post ACOSF. Delicious Elriel angst!

Word Count: 2.2k

Author’s Note: This is my first time writing for Elriel so I hope you like it! I think that their love for each other has been shown mainly through gift giving (RIP) and quality time so far, so this is how I imagine it being communicated through the other love languages. I hope you enjoy! <3

A quiet thump wakes Elain from the shallow state of sleep she’d managed to accomplish after her previous sleepless night.

She sits up immediately with a startled gasp, looking around for the source of the noise. When she sees nothing in her room at the townhouse out of place, she deduces it must have come from outside.

Elain had been living in the townhouse for a few weeks now after feeling as if her constant presence was a burden at Feyre’s river manor and her inability to forget the painful memory of Solstice everytime she stepped foot in the living room, even now - months later.

She didn’t dare bring any fae lights to life for fear that the intruder would then know someone was there and she would lose her element of surprise. She thought of her strategy as she silently slipped out from her covers and grabbed the heavy candlestick from her bedside table.

Elain crept over to the balcony door on silent toes. Whatever was out there, she hoped to scare off or she would send an alarm through her mind to Feyre and Rhys and hope they got there in time to help her.

Elain crept quietly over to her door to the outside and listened for any further noise.

She heard nothing on her balcony, but something was stirring on the balcony to the room next door. Her stomach plummeted as fear and dread settled inside her gut.

Elain hurriedly made her way back across her room and into the hall, still stepping silently on her tiptoes as the twins had taught her.

She gathered her courage to open the door into the room and did a quick scan to see if anything had made it inside.

The room remained undisturbed, but the noise continued outside.

She could taste the fear on her tongue, but something pulled her to investigate further before calling for Feyre. She steeled herself and with a huff and crossed the room to the balcony door.

Elain rested her hand on the handle for a moment and gathered her remaining courage. She positioned the candlestick in her hand, ready to strike whatever she met on the other side of the door. She has killed a very dangerous male before after all, she reminded herself.

Before she changed her mind, Elain pulled the door open and charged onto the balcony ready to strike.

But what she found was the very last thing she expected.

“Azriel?” she breathed.

She could barely make out his form. Her biggest hint being the faint glow of cobalt siphon power spread over various places on his body.

“Elain?” he rasped.

He was hurt.

Badly.

“You’re hurt?” she questioned, dropping the candlestick and then to her knees beside him, hands reaching out to scan him for his injuries.

“I didn’t know you would be here.”

She tries very hard to not let those words affect her, but she still winces internally. The first words he had spoken to her in months and he was admitting that he had not intended to see her. He didn’t want to be here with her.

“You must come inside so I can help you.”

“No I can’t trouble you,” he says quietly. “I’ll just rest a moment and resume flying somewhere else.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Elain insists as she picks his heavy arm up and drapes it around her neck. His injury is too bad for him to go somewhere else. She needs to begin working on him now. She positions herself the way Madja taught her to lift a patient from the ground. She uses all of her weight as leverage in an attempt to push them both up, but he is quite heavy.

“I may need just a little help Azriel,” she exhales as she sinks back to the ground from the little height she was able to manage. “Can you stand?”

The sound of his name coming from her lips is almost enough to make him forget he’s injured in the first place. But the feeling passes through him and he returns to the present moment. He nods, answering her question and wincing as he begins to stand, his other hand instinctively coming to brace the worst wound on his abdomen.

Elain adjusts to the weight of him on her shoulders and snakes her arm around his waist to guide him inside. It’s the closest they’ve been in months. Since the very moment she’s been trying desperately every day to forget. She’s all but dragging him by the time she reaches her room.

“Sorry,” Elain apologizes as she clumsily drops him back down on the edge of her bed and moves to light candles.

“You’re living here?” Azriel manages to ask.

“Yes,” Elain answers from her place in the wash room, gathering the supplies she needs to begin fixing him up.

“I’m sorry to intrude, I didn’t know.”

“How could you know? You’ve been gone so very long,” she assures him, returning with an armful of things and setting them down beside Azriel before taking her place in front of him to begin cleaning his wounds.

Has she noticed my absence? Azriel thinks to himself.

Months. It had been months since she’d seen him. Five months since he was last present at a family dinner, and even then he’d avoided her altogether the entire evening. Three months since he’d left for this latest mission in the Dawn Court. Elain feels a nasty tugging in her gut at the thought that he’d been close enough to visit but choose not to.

“So your plan was to be here alone? Heal by yourself and then?”

“Call for someone if I needed it.”

“Ah,” Elain muses. “Well I’m sorry to have squandered your plan.”

Azriel breathes out a slight chuckle, the corners of his mouth ticking up just slightly. He loves this side of her, the one he feels so few are honored to see.

Elain roams her eyes over Azriel’s body, taking in all the damage done to him and determining where to begin. The gash on his abdomen is clearly the most emergent.

She brings her hands to the wound on his stomach and meet his eyes. Her fingers brush the bottom hem of his shirt and he gives her a curt nod to proceed. She lifts the fabric to remove it.

Elain winces at the damage done to his beautiful body once she sees the wound fully. She tries hard not to think too much about his naked torso under her fingertips or let her gaze linger on him for too long. The last thing she wants to do is make him uncomfortable with her unwanted attention.

“Lie back,” she tells him, a warm hand on his bare shoulder to direct him backward.

Azriel leans back, wincing at the motion, until his wings are spread flat on her bed and his legs are draped off the side. Elain steps between his spread legs to access his wound fully.

“I am not sure how this will feel,” she warns.

Azriel knits his brows in confusion. He’s been treated before. He knows exactly how cleaning and stitching will feel.

However, he is surprised at the feeling of Elain’s hands pressing firmly on either side the gash and can’t help his sharp inhale of breath as a white hot searing pain stretches across his abdomen. It feels almost like being wounded all over again, but after the initial pain comes an overwhelming sense of relief.

Azriel lifts his head enough to see the wound in his abdomen is neatly closed, no stitches in its place but new skin - a scar that should have taken weeks to form.

“Elain?” he questions, eyebrows knitted together. “How did you —“

“It first happened with a flowering bush,” she explains. “It was dying despite my best efforts. I had no idea what I was doing wrong. My frustration reached its peak and I had something of a meltdown while kneeling by the bush in the garden…” she paused, waiting for him to mock her. Nothing came. He was listening with the same reverie that he once had for her. How she had missed that look in his eye when it was trained on her. “I looked up and it was a living thing again. Thriving as it should have been.”

Azriel looks stunned. How scarcely that must happen. A slight blush began to spread across Elain’s cheeks at the thought that she’d surprised the Spymaster of the Night Court.

“I’ve been learning from Madja since then,” she finishes, sparing him the more detailed information of her new found ability. Mostly because she is still understanding it herself.

“Amazing,” he breathes, dropping his head back to the soft bed beneath him. “It seems I have missed much.”

Elain hums in response.

Elain places her hands into Azriel’s, tugging to return him into sitting position. She remains between his spread legs and tried to retain her composure as his hands came to rest on his knees, mere inches from her thighs. It was then, as Azriel’s head became level with her breasts, that Elain realized she was in her nightgown. She shutters slightly at the closeness of him.

Elain steels herself again and pushes Azriel’s dark hair back to get a better view of the gash slicing across the perfect skin of his forehead along his hairline. Azriel can’t help how his eyes flutter closed at her gentle touch.

She wrings out the cloth from the basin she brought in from the wash room and begins wiping the blood from his skin.

He thinks about how he doesn’t deserve such tenderness from her. Not after—

“Az?” she interrupts his thought, his nickname falling so sweetly from her lips.

“Hmm?”

“Weren’t you in the Dawn Court? Among the finest healers in Prythian?” Elain asks calmly.

She finishes her cleaning and uses the power running through her fingertips to close the cut.

“Yes.”

“Why weren’t you treated there?”

“I used my remaining energy to winnow as close as I could here and then flew the rest of the way. I wanted to be here in case…”

“In case of what?”

He doesn’t answer.

In case he died, it occurs to her.

Sensing her understanding, Azriel raises his eyes to gaze at her.

“Oh Azriel,” she exhales in a whisper, shaking her head and meeting his eyes. “I have implored Rhys to stop using you as if you are so expendable.”

“I am Elain, it is my duty as —“

“It is not! You are not replaceable! Not to m—“

This was a mistake, she remembers his words and corrects herself before she embarrasses herself further. She drops her gaze from his and returns to cleaning the dried blood from smaller scrapes around his face.

“To many people. Please tell me you don’t believe that about yourself.”

A loud silence falls between them. It’s all the answer she needs.

“You are irreplaceable Azriel. Please treat yourself as so.”

There are so many things he wishes he could say to her in this moment. But nothing he can think of feels like enough. How can he possibly express what those words coming from her sweet mouth mean to him?

On instinct, Azriel brings his hand to where Elain is cleaning a cut on his cheek and wraps it around her wrist. Before she can break away, he turns his face seeking her soft skin and places a kiss above her pulse. He feels it quicken underneath his lips.

It’s too much for her right now, he realizes, eyes closed as he inhales the comforting scent of her skin.

Elain gently removes her hand from his grasp, adverting her gaze and returning the cloth to the basin.

“Are there any other places you think need attention?” she asks, a slight panic evident in her tone.

“No,” Azriel assures her.

She brings her eyes to him and meets his gaze with a nod.

“I’ll draw you a bath then and find you something to eat in the kitchen. I’m sure you must be hungry.”

Starving, Azriel thinks to himself, meaning nothing of food.

“You can stay here tonight of course, you need to rest. I’ll make sure there is a bed made up for you.”

Azriel doesn’t bother telling Elain she doesn’t have to do any of this for him. He knows she needs something to distract her from remaining there with him. She’s not ready for this conversation yet.

Elain turns with her hands full and heads to the wash room.

He’s just not ready to see her go yet.

“Elain?” he calls out to her.

“Yes?” she turns on her heel and faces him once again.

Azriel lifts his head and brings his eyes to meet hers. They are swimming with such emotion, so many things left unsaid.

“Thank you,” Azriel speaks to her. “Not just for healing me. But for all of your kindness and the things you said too.”

And then the unthinkable happens. She smiles at him.

She smiles. He made her smile. After everything. After all this time. Azriel wants to freeze the moment forever.

“It’s all true,” she responds, wanting to affirm him one more time before turning back and heading into the wash room to fill the bath.

This is enough for now, Azriel thinks to himself as he hangs his head and the exhaustion finally sets into his bones.

Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing for him to accept her kindness and let her care for him just for tonight.

They can face the rest tomorrow.

#elriel #pro elriel #elriel month 2023 #elain archeron #azriel #elain x azriel #azriel x elain

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court-jobi · 1 year

Text

Want for Nothing

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x modern!OC, Tessa DeVon

Words: 6,404

Rating: Teen+ (inuendos, testing the waters--mmm) (18+ for spicy themes to be safe)

Warnings: no-angst confession, pining, LOTS of touching, kisses and grinding, lovely dirty talk, sweet, sweet romantic tension

A/N: a bit of fluff, bit of pining, and no small amount of delicious chemistry for these beloved characters who are FINALLY acting on their feelings... Much love to @fizzyxcustard in celebration of her recent trip around the sun... belated, but very much deserved! This one's for you, m'love 💞

Summary:

Take away the robes, the sword, the crown, and the weight of responsibility; these things leave Thorin as just a dwarf. A dwarf with pride, passion, and loyal to a fault-- and yet also easily the most honest and endearing man Tessa DeVon has met in this or any other realm- most notably, hers.

And does she ever crave him. The dance with death they faced on their Quest is over, and Tessa ever so wants to settle into a gentle ending with her Dwarf King.

The busier the two get, she'd do nearly anything for a moment alone, and when she happens on just such an occasion, she's thrilled-- only to doubt reading into the situation with one sided intentions. But what if these feelings were not so one-sided? How might she be rewarded when she brings her heart to the surface…

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There's a learning curve or two, for Tessa to learn in Erebor. Or three. It’s hard to keep count; it feels like there is a new one every day…

The Mountain is both familiar and not. The stories she’s heard on their cross country trek to the Erebor has painted a clear picture in her mind– and now, she’s seen it in the flesh and has the chance to have a hand in helping rebuild it. Her reinstated King has his mind set to restore the parts that should be redeemed back to their former glory, and to also sort out the plans for the things he wants to change. As the second of his royal namesake, Thorin II has the rare opportunity to make this kingdom as he sees fit– one to truly bring all the dwarf kingdoms into the fold and see Erebor and her people reach higher highs than his forefathers ever conceived.

And that’s a hell of an undertaking.

Not that he wished to micromanage, but Thorin has spent days slaving over each department’s planners and ledgers to get a solid master plan in place, with those he trusts at the top– because if his Company worked this hard to come home, too, he's going to see that they thrive in their new roles. There's bound to be missteps -trial and error- but the kindly voices of hardy dwarves around him will help him tackle the learning curve.

There is also the matter of his conscience– another, new learning curve of his own. Thorin must wrangle and settle the guilt of his failings… and thank Aule that Tessa promised to be here to see it through.

He’s told her any time she’d listen that he relies on her for that blessing– the mercy that passes his understanding.

Tessa is so proud of the whole operation, of all of them– if a little at a loss of what to do, herself. Through recovery, she was able to be of help during a most stressful time; but the first night the entire Company sat together again for a reunion meal now that they’ve all healed, the questions came to how they would divide the shares, their stations, etc. Each member, to the last dwarf, volunteered to aid Thorin however he deemed.

The journey brought them together so closely, and none could go long without seeing each other now that they’ve been through Hell and Back Again.

In the very beginning however, Tessa could not have felt more like an outsider.

Welcomed as she was and tested through trial after trial living amongst them with linked arms, living in the Lonely Mountain was a new experience entirely. She might have been given nickname after nickname by the men in her life: from playful to annoying, to something called Sanâzyun… but she was and could never forget, in every way, a stranger to this land: to the Race of Men, Elves, to the dwarven kind.

… to the very World of Middle Earth.

So while she rested her head each night under the assurance that she had a secure place here and plenty of friends who cared for her, Tessa made no mistake to try and assume she knew it all from a few stories and some history lessons around a fire.

Out of respect, she nearly excused herself in the early meetings when they talked over all this– but Thorin stopped her in her tracks each time she made to stand. In perfect grace, he’d extended an offering to her, 'naturally'. He swears she'll want for nothing if she chooses to stay,

'Celebrate your wins, yes. But please, share in this– our joys and our revelry as well– this home we've won together. This Mountain is yours to call home if you wish it so. You bled for this just as we all have. I cannot imagine a soul here would not want for you to stay, Tessa.'

So she agrees to stay… like she was going to choose anywhere else. Everyone cheered when she gave the news.

So they each set to work. 'Rome wasn't built in a day', and neither will Erebor. Tessa decided to shadow Balin and find the nooks and crannies that can be preserved. Royal Quality Control– similar enough to her old job, she reasoned. She learns the Mountain home best this way... though in doing this, she also caught a bout of 'smog sickness' from the lower mines at first– the third learning curve. She had to learn the power of hydration in the hot forges and the importance of a good, well-fitting facescarf.

But as with all new things, these stumbling blocks were all teaching lessons: Tessa’s to find her place in this world, and Thorin’s to not sweat the small stuff and to try and rest himself.

–and maybe learn to come to terms with his heart’s feelings too. Tessa’s a bit ahead of him on that front…

It's been weeks since their last talk on the subject; of their undeniable chemistry. Rather than put a name to their draw to one another, the dwarf King and his odd, other-worldly Darling with her funny flat twang of an accent have remained in a dance of sorts, ever since… and Tessa -poor thing- has never quite forgotten what's all been pushed to the side and gotten in the way.

Perhaps, she wonders as she slips on her long sweater atop the layers of embroidered dress, I can snag him aside for a little chat tonight. God knows he needs a break. Maybe I'll pay Dwalin for a good distraction, some whiskey– yeah, that'll do it.

So, with a smirk, Tessa slipped a bottle of her personal stash from her makeshift bedside table, wrapped it in a leather skein, and set out into the Hall at Fili's call for her.

Here Tessa found herself surrounded by the brashest blend of personalities in what was beginning to be actually a very relaxing moment... At dinner, the Company had all been merrymaking and having a blast of it. There's been builds, a hog tying, and something called a 'Stumpfest': which for those out along the mountainskirts, that was a success called for a celebration. Tessa will take any excuse to open this whiskey again.

Then as the evening dwindled on, the stories began; clusters of family and friends telling their tales of old, and thankfully, making an attempt to include Tessa as much as possible. It often felt like a personal storytime to her, whenever her boys took the helm of a conversation.

'Ye won't believe this next one lass, just wait till ya hear-'

Good thing Tessa brought the whiskey for the occasion- she'd need it for herself after all these gory war stories…

Across the room where Heads of House have gathered for a meal, Thorin was actively blurring the lines between work and play as they speak. His sidebars, from what Tessa could vaguely tell were ones of nostalgia which segued into his current happenings quite well. Still, she'd listen to him all day if she could.

Everyone at the table, and truly everyone in Erebor, sees their king as infallible, immovable and without any chinks in the armor– never knowing that his biggest enemy is himself. After all, his fatal flaw is never turning that brilliant mind of his off. Funny, Tessa thinks to herself, that he'd be a prime candidate for Redbull or Five Hour Energy advertisements for as much as he complains about not having the energy to get through the day. Though in the warm din of the evening fires blazing across the fire stones, he'd gained a second wind through a pint or two of his favorite ale.

Tessa snuck a glance from where she sat among a circle of master storytellers; namely her dear Bofur and Nori. Even with hilarious sources of distraction right next to her, she’s unable to part her sights from Thorin for long. He’s just– captivating. Even here - at the end of the day with his hair down and tunic untethered to the low point of the neckline. He’s irresistible. And not helping Tessa’s endless pining of him…

As the hour dragged on, she was pleased to see Thorin laugh and ease himself of those hard lines of focus he wore– and was hit with even more delight when he met her eyes with rapture and ultimate fondness, even from across the room. It was electrifying, every time, to have his focus all on her. (What she wouldn't give to have a way to speak mind to mind, because she cursed the distance between them whenever he looked at her like that.)

Sure enough though, the pull to be by his side was too strong– and he, too, beat her to the same draw.

Thorin came to her circle of conversation, where Bofur was regaling another far-fetched story Tessa assumed was toeing the line of fantasy. While he didn't react to the outbreak of laughter that ensued, Thorin spoke above them on the downbeat, begging the group to allow him to borrow Tessa– effectively excusing the pair 'for a quick review while she has the time'.

Tessa assumed this was a lovely excuse to take a walk, as they left the hall and into one of the upper corridors.

–but it wasn't. No, he's actually picking her brain and trying to find the right bit of parchment in the Mapmakers Study to show her something, and swept her away to help him look.

For a moment, Tessa did find this adorable: Thorin, flitting about mumbling a decade's worth of history as if she can hear him properly, explaining what he's doing. But it's just his way of trying to catch her up to speed, so she took their outing as a dear expression of that.

Inside this room, Tessa found a little perch beside the table she happened upon. It's ancient and caked with rubble, dust, and stacks of books. Oh, and of course, Dwarven scabbards; because who in their right mind in Erebor would find themselves without their steel at their side, even one abandoned generation ago? The mess was a funny sight. Careful of nicks and splinters, Tessa minded where she sifted through, all while Thorin dug around like he owned the place speaking only in fragments- sorting his thoughts as he did the hidden treasures laid out before him.

A comfortable quiet passed between them, leaving Tessa to a host of thoughts in her inner dialogue. When Tessa recalled the memories and stolen moments they shared like this– the ones they typically came so close to talking about, but were always interrupted for one reason or another– the flair of impatience reared up.

Thorin's promise, especially.

So, Tessa broke her waiting silence,

"You said once, 'I wouldn't want for anything'. Not while I lived here, right?"

Thorin only barely cocked his head, still on the hunt for whatever he was searching for.

"Mm, that's right," he offered blindly. "Why do you ask."

A knife's hilt caught her attention. To admire the goat's-leather handle, Tessa picked it up and leveled it on a finger– and kept her gaze from him, as aloof as she can manage,

"Well I gotta say…" she lightly sighed, "If the taste of what I had in Laketown is any indication, I'd say I'm pretty neglected."

Polite quiet was thrown out of the room– by Thorin’s hand on the table rolling something off it by accident.

The sound turned Tessa towards the clatter, and then to her lovely companion. Completely puzzled, Thorin looked up to her newly alerted. Concern coated that expression.

Tessa made a concerted effort to keep her face as neutral as possible. Really sell the blasé look to him;

"On the back porch?..." Tessa threw the memory into the open.

Tomorrow would be the blessed day that’s been over a year in the making: the day that would see the dwarves reach Erebor, and the buzz about Bard's small home couldn't be more lively. With the exception of Kili's room where he fought with sleep and the aches, the Company had trouble getting a good night's rest when the journey would be reaching its end in a matter of hours– when they'd take the boats from Laketown and see their home again. Yes, this was the night before they take on their last stretch of road, so Tessa joined Thorin on the balcony for their nightly chat– presumably their last peaceful one for a while.

He's wearing red tonight. It's a borrowed shirt and decidedly too long in the arms– and yet he pulls it off with a rugged finish. He could don any color and he'd look amazing… even though the Durin blue is the natural choice. Surely it will return after a wash day gives it new life.

Threading his arm, relaxed, Tessa keens in the cool of the night and said she'd decided to come outside to simply enjoy the view while she has it. –but as he noticed she's looking right at him when she said the words, Thorin settles into the moment's respite with her, comforted as never before- and squeezes the hand laid atop his.

Didn’t last long, this stretch of magic and attraction. When picking up the sound of Bilbo and Balin wandering out the door on the far side of the dock to talk with him, Tessa took her leave; well, not before she snuck a kiss on Thorin’s cheek before he can turn and say otherwise. But words never came in his surprise: only action.

It’s so fast– Thorin catches her wrist back, pulls the palm over where his heart beat, and gives Tessa a real kiss for the very first time: warm and firm due to how close she was.

The pair didn't notice since Tessa bluffed so well, passing them and the Company with that stolen moment with the King all to herself. Secret kept, she simply beamed in what looked like pride to the outside, after slipping inside and losing herself to drink and a buzz that had nothing to do with the wine.

A tense parting would come the next morning… As Kili's health waned, Fili stubbornly set standing by his brother’s side, the Company received an earful of even more warnings about the Mountain's curse, and poor Bilbo fluttered about more nervous than he'd ever been. Before they set out from the city, when Thorin asks Tessa to stay in Bard’s home and care, she agrees because it's obvious: she'd protect his family without question and understands Thorin to-a-tee. He worries for them both, his sister-sons, but in turn, Tessa makes him swear to be careful until they can rejoin him. He gives his word as best as possible- as the Uncle, the Leader, and something more...

Under the little half canopy, some wooden chimes blew their way in the breeze as a send-off song of their own. Nothing more to promise as she knew nothing truly was, Tessa offered Thorin as confident a smile and 'go get em' as she could manage.

But as she heads inside, Thorin catches her elbow again to make her stop. She's thrilled her brave show of affection wasn't a dream, when the dwarf cups her head and kisses her goodbye again in private where no one can see them: under tarps, caring touch, and broken bits of light above them… shedding what hope they could offer this tired, wooden corner of the world .

–And it all fell into place; each line of Thorin's confusion dissipates as he realizes just what Tessa means.

What's more is his response, interest seeping in:

"Is that what you want?"

Tessa cocks her head. All too demurely, mind you– sliding a hand back through her hair's part, the flirty act deliciously fluffed it up. She's feigning innocence, but even the smallest of moves all but scream how she's presenting herself from the chest, out.

True, Tessa wants his kiss again.. But she wanted something even deeper, felt herself wanting for more than just that one brief connection on the surface.

She yearned for every bit of Thorin: those moments of pride she’d observed in public, as well as these intimate ones here. She wanted his heart, his mind, his kindness, his righteous rage… she wanted to taste every story he’d gift her, and wrap herself up in that voice for the rest of forever.

So in short? Yes; she wanted him.

But this behavior… this is a wager. A huge limb she's leapt onto.

Whatever Thorin was looking around the desk for her to see went forgotten. Instead, he chose to close their gap.

With steady steps, he saunters close to his fairer company– dangerously eyeing her face, to her neck, to the slope of her chest, and to her eyes again. The move forced Tessa into a lean back onto the desk, pinned. Under such dazzling eyes, she just holds back Thorin's stare with a saucy, hidden smile.

"The lady wants for a bit of attention, does she?"

Thorin soothed the woman in reach as he framed her perfectly, hands bridged on the desk on either side of her.

"Just a bit, maybe," Tessa slides her hands along his lapels- not so cautiously anymore. "Not to be an inconvenience, Your Majestic-ness…"

With a careful eye, Thorin outlined her features as he looked her over, ignoring her jab and seeking the intention underneath. He's no simple-minded man- he sees everything in a word: what she says and what she means, even in her jests. Something akin to doubt crossed his face as he spoke his mind,

"I'd not been certain… Forgive me if I cast the wrong impression your way," Thorin sought her forgiveness through a tender touch of her arm, "Tessa, I've only ever– I've tried my utmost to carve away time to you, as you rightly deserve. Though I’ve not presumed or demanded so…"

A lovely flip bashed against Tessa's chest, her desire: spurring her nod of the head to placate his worry.

Thorin asked further, meekly,

"Am I to believe you– might feel as I do? Regarding that night, and… the morning that followed, and the– Mahal, what you said in the infirmary…" Thorin winced at the shared memory; indeed, reading into things too late.

Tessa bopped her head again, a subtle way to show her heart lies with him without a doubt in her mind. That it wasn't too late…not when she'd given her reason for staying, why she'd stay in Thorin's corner, and the reason she'd keep coming 'round:

'Love– present tense.'

"Feels like ages ago, but– yeah." Tessa confessed. "Kinda hoped it wouldn't be a one-time thing," A small, enticing smile tinged the side of her mouth.

"I feel a fool all the more, then," Thorin chuckled as he swept Tessa into his arms more comfortably, "I truly have been distracted, haven't I."

"I don't think a single person here would blame you, Thorin. You're more than busy– you're booked three or four times over, hon," Tessa laughed herself, sinking into his arms. "Your people's King comes first, and I know that; and I can behave myself well enough on my own between my sightings of the guy."

Thorin's look softened upon her. He clearly wasn't content with this status quo.

"And it's not like I feel ignored, not in the slightest! M'only–" Tessa trailed off, turning coy again and fixating on all these details up close; the stiching and braidwork she'd come to associate with this more illustrious form of 'Thorin', "--just finding myself craving a certain someone's attention sometimes. Just from one, particularly regal source, busy as he is…"

With his palms swept up her corseted sides, the dwarf before her teased her right back. To her delight– Thorin likes to play, too.

"And whose attention is that?” he asked lightly, “There are several dwarf lords here tonight, all from noble blood. Whose attention have you sought after, so patiently?..."

Breathless as she locks in on his lips and gives a playful little smirk, Tessa hug hims loose around the shoulders.

He's got her: snug in tight, in perfect space to nuzzle noses, close to speaking into her partially open mouth,

"Tell me, Tessa~"

His Darling swallowed. Won't take much, she'll be caving any moment now. Broken and breathy, Tessa stood stock still beside herself. Her chest heaved with the words,

"-'d like yours."

Thorin rumbled, "Louder."

"Yours." Tessa's shudder.

A happy, low moan came from Thorin in response, his forehead dropping to hers for a nuzzle. What she'd been reduced to by this man's voice…breaking eye contact from that gorgeous face to study his neck.

"Shyness, from you. Wherever did this come from, pretty thing?"

Forget shyness and patience. Tessa whines, tipping her head up for a kiss.

"Thorin, please."

The dwarves' King quiets her with a devilish hush of his lips before collecting her hair back and capturing hers in one fell swoop. But one right after another, Thorin easily lost himself in the sensation.

Just as guilty and greedy for so much more.

Breaking for labored breaths and a too-long glance, a delighted smile lit up Tessa's face, and one in equal measure to his.

Giving him attention back, Tessa's hands cupped his strong neck and jawline, fingers teasing deliciously down to his beard before seeking a path through his hair like he'd done to her. This earned a straight growl and a deliberate step forward to pin her to the table-- to the point where Tessa felt Thorin's 'presence' in every sense of the word.

She sighed his name, like she could breathe it until the end of time to sustain her. For Tessa, it was easy, and right off the tongue, to react like this at the lack of room, distracted by his press to notice him straying to lap at her neck now.

Paws cradling her to him, Tessa's stance spread to let her leg give out and lift on instinct.

Reading her moves by touch, Thorin yanked behind her knee to prop her up against the surface to fit himself to her. She was pretty sure a knife hilt and some empty scabbards laid flush against her bottom, but she barely cared.

"Thorin--" Tessa lightly sighed and swallowed for control. Her head buzzed from within, and echoed by his moans answering hers, "some--ah.. Don'-- nnng d-door?"

"I don't care." Thorin growled in a deep place in his chest. "Let them come. I've waited for you long enough."

Tessa gawked: has he??

She could chuckle now, she's that relieved– but gasped at the sensual kiss and light suck to her ear. Thorin teases the stud between his teeth. Nuzzling her back to center, he mumbled something delicious in his native language before his mouth was yanked back to meet hers again by way of slightly trembling hands.

There's no hope now; Tessa's addicted. Now locked in, she bit along Thorin's bottom lip to claim him– wordlessly crying out 'mine' to his lips.

The game of back and forth wound up with Tessa being hoisted fully onto the table, Thorin's hands petting just about any curve he could reach. Fingers long since tugged her collar down so he could worship her jewel-adorned chest, one palm braced above her as she has him locked between her legs by the waist, making out with him half atop her.

As her sights stayed fixed on every bit of his regal features, Tessa's exploration of Thorin's chest and arms' reach had him heaving heavy, excited breaths when they broke away-- each huff exerting intense restraint to not bowl her over and lose himself in her entirely. The sight thrilled her.

While she held onto his pillar of a bicep, Tessa gave Thorin's neck an extra dose of care and took advantage of the angle to whisper all sorts of nothings up to him– anything to break his damn restraint and give her some sort of pressure between her hips.

"God you're gorgeous…” Tessa sighed, the praises coming naturally. “Watching you run this place like you were always meant to... teasing with those baby blues of yours, and all I can do is watch you-- so fucking unfair."

Thorin shuddered under her tongue.

"How the hell am I supposed to focus all those days last week… stuck in that throne room, wishing I could just walk right up to that dais, n'sit on your lap... That's my spot, after all; you promised you’d keep it for me~"

"Mahal, Tessa..."

Tessa smirked,

"Part of you wouldn't even care if I did, would you? I could wear that blue dress you like on me so much. Won't be any mistaking whose I belong to then, huh~" She whispered up to his ear. "Maybe one of these days I just..might..do that."

Thorin rattled a low growly noise, something fierce and turned on.

He caught her neck in a light hold, tearing her from her niche under his curtain of hair,

"Nnng, must you say things like that..."

Tessa upped the ante on the sweetness, despite the lustful glare he gave.

"Would you rather I lie and say less, my darling Highness?"

"Lies don't become you," Thorin grit out, tugging her up flush against him, "But if you're to be so lavish and colorful in your descriptions of what you'd like me to do to you, I'd prefer it to be in a warm, lit room with a good, sturdy bed– and not in the same hour I have to turn tail and face my innermost council with my 'sword drawn'."

A chortle burst from her with a lovely giggle-- the audacity, she could imagine the faces now.

Thorin fixed a look at her laugh, straightening his waistband as subtle as possible.

"You are set on becoming the death of me, aren't you."

"I doubt you really wann’a make a deal with Death now after all this time, do you? Thought you had work to do."

"Work that you do not seem remotely interested in partaking in right now, little minx."

"I am interested, I've always been interested," Tessa sang up to the object of her affections, "Just thought maybe you deserved a break–" Tessa eyes him back with a glance... and a super slow uptick of the leg, "Just a nice, little distraction."

Thorin pressed in at that front leg advancing. He groused into her shoulder, inlaying a kiss between his thoughts.

"What was that?"

"A desperate dwarf's plea, my darling dove." Thorin moaned at the base where her neck and shoulder met. "'Have mercy on this stubborn soul.'"

"Hey~ m'not trying to embarrass you," Tessa smooths his hair back and directs him by the bearded chin to face her, "Just want you to feel the same as I do. Just as good, just as special."

"My special one, you are."

Thorin mouthed at her cheek after a sweet kiss, continuing,

"--and how I'd enjoy showing my special one just how special she is–”

Tessa sank into his arms tightening around her waist, giving in to his support.

“For Mahal as my witness,” Thorin all but sang into her ear low and clear, “I'd not show my beloved my efforts in this musty place. I'll not have her on a desk that's not been touched in who-knows-how-long when I commit every blessed inch of her to memory…”

Good God.

Thorin rakes through her hair before the poor thing could speak, could think-

“No; I shall have her on the finest bed in these Halls. Nothing in earshot but a fire raging: crackling the air around us, accompanied by that perfect sound of every sweet noise I drive out of her- filling the Mountain itself. Every last beg and moan and sigh and cry. I take my time. I do not rush, and I will not allow her to hold a drop of her sweetness back from me. And believe me, Sanâzyun, I will know."

Tessa... stopped working.

Then he promised again,

"You will want for nothing… whilst you are under my care and my house. Not now, nor until my last breath." Thorin pulled back to hold her gaze to him again, "Does that please you, my sweet, neglected One?"

The tiniest noise escaped Tessa-- not unlike steam from a teapot-- but was silenced as Thorin sealed his filthy promises with a lavish kiss to her jaw.

The rest of Tessa's neck bowed, compliant; leaving Thorin with the room and to he time he willed to carry on with adoring attention to her nape, all while massaging up her leg through her dress.

… –at least until an oaken door flung open in a crash against the wall.

Tessa flung into panic mode- what she must look like, a wanton thing; Thorin forced them both to duck, quick now, under the desk.

Once landed on her ass and tucked in by Thorin's massive, immovable arm, Tessa choked on her laugh– heaven knows why they're doing this... But Thorin simply held her: back flush against him with the unspoken swear to not move a muscle.

"Will Mahal in His Grace please give me a reason not to whack this oaf, please! I need a sound voice of reason for once, THORIN!!

"I'll show ya REASON, you ancient pair a' donkey's buttocks!!"

Tessa looks at said King over her shoulder to catch sight of it; Thorin simply rolls his eyes and firms up his mouth.

Tessa mouths, 'donkeys buttocks?' It took everything to keep her from giggling– this scene is ridiculous. Thorin however, while keeping a sharp ear on where the others were in the room, met her silent question with a cheeky wink. They listened on– praying to every spirit that their surprise company would just leave. The wandering hand cupping Tessa's waist spoke volumes as much….

Which worried her– because she could hear steps all around the backside of the table.

She can't really believe this: two grown adults were hiding from from their dearest, closest comrades and kin. 'Like randy bairns', Dori would say… Of course, he's presently debating with Gloin something fierce.

"Well surely you gotta give him the context, Dori!!" Fili chimed in to lay down the law. Tessa could imagine the hand motions he's giving to seem his most princely. "Be fair, now! Tell him who's really got the grievance."

"The lords over the Guild are making a right mess of the armory- we got one chance to do this right, and it's all gone to straight horseshit. It doesn't even take a novice to know what a mess it is- ye can't even walk straight down the Hall, there's rubbish everywhere!"

"I TAKE OFFENSE TA THAT!" Gloin fired up again, "I've given a GENEROUS allotment to see to the– bah, just as- Not asking ya to come see fer yourself like a nanny," grace reentered the Redbeard's tone, "but- Thorin, you in 'ere?"

A hand petted along Tessa's ribcage. Not a word.

"You sure he's in here, lad?"

"Saw 'em come in here myself…" Fili mused low in his chest.

Tessa bit her cheek against the pang of nerves for distracting Thorin in the first place. Then, a silent nip to the soft spot on her still-exposed shoulder changed her feelings; she became confident she needn't worry if he wasn't.

"Don't exactly got the best track record of watching where folks are going tho, are ya boy."

"That was one. time." Fili groused, never living down the 'Ponies Incident of the Spring'. "Fine. Let's go your way, Dori."

The two bickered on with an exhausted Fili following suit. But by Grace, Favour and Luck, at the sound of his nephew's grunt to close the oaken door again, Thorin let his head fall back on one of the table supports.

The sigh that left him was tired and worn.

Tessa slunk back to recline against him- more across his lap so that she could see him fully,

"Popular mister you are, huh?"

Thorin bristled at even his closest blood relative who left the room. "Only ever at the peak times I wish not to be."

Tessa chuckled at Thorin's interrupted expense, but snuggled up to him all the same. Naturally he welcomed the cuddle, and coincidentally helped her heart slow down a bit at both their rush of passion and the scare. With a shadowed curtain over them, the pair out of the low lamplight, this hiding spot did wonders for the senses and made everything feel more cozy between them– yes, even criss-crossed on the cold floor. Thank goodness for the linens over the table.

Reminded Tessa of those tarps that gave them shade in Laketown. How similar this all felt, a nighttime deja vu rather than the day...

"Suppose I might be the selfish one, after all–" Tessa stomached her guilt. "This is just this sort of thing I was trying to avoid..."

"What do you mean?"

Tessa truly felt juvenile now, cooped up and hiding from prying eyes.

"This." she sassed, "Crawling around like children, trying and almost failing to keep a secret thing going?"

Thorin gave a naughty laugh at this, one that betrayed his years, too.

"Now that you mention, who's to say this need be a secret, really..."

"You, apparently," Tessa wrenches back to look Thorin dead in the eye, "You're the one who hid us under a flippin' table!"

"Because you were nearly about to faint at my next words– and I'm not letting my nephew see either of us in this state!" Thorin laughed, incredulous. "Imagine what you'd might have cried out for the whole neighboring quarters to hear, had I carried on just so-"

And she did indeed start a poor try to smother her giggles at the sheer embarrassment. Thorin tickled the daylights out of her sides until she scooted into his lap further to gain the high ground.

While Tessa revealed in this soft spot she’d found in her dearest and most unexpected crush, the thought sunk in how quickly he did, in fact, hide away. He had said he was trying to avoid the look of losing himself, and Tessa couldn't forget that appearances - though vain- were important to him.

As much as she loved the man underneath the regalia, Thorin was the King- he and the crown were inseparable.

"Don't tease, Thorin." Tessa heaved, breathless. It was easy to disguise her pause as mirth for a moment.

But Thorin pored over the way her face must have changed with a careful regard,

"I am not teasing you."

He cupped her cheek then, keeping her close with a gentle hold, Thorin leaned in to brush their foreheads together.

"What of you, my Heart," he rumbled softly, "Would you sacrifice your happiness as I have… and wait along for a mere moment's peace with the one you seek for the rest of your days when you may have it all, freely?"

Tessa's brought to tenderness by his words.

"Well.." she managed with a Southern smile, shifting to mesh her fingers with his off her face, "When it's you, I think any chance is worth it, even if it's small. Even if…."

She glanced up, to the plans laid out on the table above them,

"... this is the only chance I get to really work up the guts to tell you just how much I would want that with you."

While she couldn't read his mind, she was no fool: Tessa saw how her words affected Thorin, as maybe he never got to hear them.

Those lovely, heavy-set brows tilted and softened.

"I'll take ya however I can getcha, yknow." Tessa tried to lighten her meaning, "I'm really not out to keep you from those who need you, hon. That list is getting longer by the day."

"And if.. I said I needed you?"

Oh how she tried not to set her hopes too high for that. And yet, she was gifted with its blessing:

" 'My people', our friends, will manage well enough on their own." Thorin brushed Tessa's bangs away lovingly, "And I for one agree with your point of view; you are right. I believe I should spare my time when I can. Indulge in that ‘self-care’ you speak of.”

The term sounded funny coming from him, and caused a smile to flicker into your lips.

“Just for a spell of rest and company every now and then can't hurt…” Thorin decided, “-if you say it really matters."

Music to Tessa's ears.

Taking that height of heart, Thorin scooped Tessa into his lap the rest of the way. Damn the cramped space, but she made herself fit anyway.

"Maralmizi, Sanâzyun." Thorin said, as solemn as a promise that would be given by a King.

But that light in his eyes- the one that shot into the soul when you looked at it… Tessa couldn't turn away if she tried. In fact, she melted into it, wrapping Thorin up in her arms.

That's the look of a lover…

…Did he just say he loves me?

"Something tells me," Tessa whispered down to him, "that I think I know that one. You just spun three words, with eight very sweet letters around in Khuzdul… M'I right?"

"A fair observation, yes," Thorin chuffed in a smile, he spiraled a lock of hair around a finger, entranced by its ombre fade of color. "Clever thing."

Tessa beamed in full joy, and nuzzled into him again.

"I may crave this sight of you all I like," he confessed, "--yet I would also see you by my side as well, Tessa. And proudly keep you there, if you wish," he gave a crooked smile, "If that will satisfy your wanting for the time being, I will make the effort to ensure you do not feel this way again."

Entranced by that smile and adoring words that came from it,

"Not just for work?"

"You'll have it all. Merely say the word, and you’ll have the world by my hand."

Tessa rested in this comfort. She didn't want the world… just him, really.

"...I'd like that."

And so, Thorin kissed his Tessa again with ultimate softness- and dare she say, love.

Perhaps they’d tell the party when they came back into the room, perhaps not just yet. Perhaps they’d keep this between them for now…

Taglist: @lathalea @sotwk @evenstaredits @heilith @asgardianhobbit98 @guardianofrivendell @middleearthpixie @absentmindeduniverse

^^If I've neglected any tags, please let me know, friends!

#majestic thorin #thorin x oc #thorin oakenshield #thorin oakenshield x ofc #thorin smut #the hobbit fanfiction #the hobbit #thorin is a softie sometimes #also spicy when he wants to be #spicy for his lady and his lady alone

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limetimo · 9 months

Text

RAB FICS I READ (June pt 1)

With a thief to the gallows by zvzam james and regulus conspire to get regulus out, james wants regulus to come too

the golden king by maladaptivewriting my god so good, regulus wakes up in 1991 as an 11 yeard old and wows to protect harry. oh and also he's pretending to be sirius' son from france

this thing was a masterpiece by mraudersmoon wolfstar with background jegulus

Of Lies and Cowards by ItsYlva

I'll keep you safe by Fenrir13 regulus gets chomped by grayback, here comes Werewolf Tutor Moony! This one is SO. GOOD.

Hogwarts Knows Better, Brother Knows Best by ItsYlva hogwarts and regulus prevent sirius suicide

Leaving And Growing Up by Engie_Ivy some fuckery gets explained and wolfstar is good to sail again

You’re Not On Your Own, Kid by rsbarelle

Mauvais jour de cheveux by Xo_flower Minnie McG can't deal with the black brothers' spats today. somebody has to, tho.

and the memories were lost long ago (but at least you have beautiful ghosts) by effing_potato (Kingdom01) ghost regulus helps remus destroy horcruxes, raise harry and clear sirius' name. very good.

Thinking Of You by aithusarosekiller regulus/remus

what is dead may never die by sisyphusss kreacher saves regulus and takes him to wolfstar

It Might Have Been A Nightmare by AQuietThinker sirius finds out about regulus' sacrifice

Nadir by Ceruleanembers regulus refuses to die

The Filth by ScreamingFae roseStarChaserKiller office sexy times

The Gryffindor Sweater by Trex_patronus in the afterlife, everyone makes fun out of REgulus for wearing Sirius' gryffindor sweater to the cave

tell them i was happy (and my heart is broken) by BlueSundayCake regulus dies for a bit but has to deal with the consequences of his own actions. unfair

Thing Like Stars in the Dark by toliveinthesky reguulus survives the cave but he's pretty chomped on and bedridden on sirus and remus' sofa. and there's also the matter of his muggleborn french girlfriend who just found out he's been using a fake name the whole time...

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by TakeSwimmingLessons pretty much your typical regulus runs away to alphard jegulus ensues fic

Nothing Fades Like the Light by Rollercoasterwords 1980s cowboys zombie outbreak jegulus wolfstar au. the angst is real and so delicious, happy ending.

Ice by soliloquy_dawn too hot for sex jegulily smut

Declared False Start by Wanderingdonut swimmer regulus

Dial Drunk by Wanderingdonut modern times brotherly angst

Maybe This Time (alternatively: once more, with feeling!) by ghostregulusfest, Wanderingdonut this is AMAZEBALLS!!!!! REGULUS BOSSES THE INFERI AND STARTS A TRAVELLING ACTING COMPANY

Pretty boy by soliloquy_dawn jegulus smut ft top reg in skirt

Dance of the Bacchantes by soliloquy_dawn aboverse sexy times

A Life Like This by ImpishTubist sirius, james and remus said bye-bye to the war and lived peacefully ever after. 23 years later they find out that Sirius' parents did the nasty and got him a much much much younger younger brother, who then nearly single-handedly ended the war and now he's here and wants to make friends. age diff Jegulus

Some Things Never Change by JBlackMalfoyRosier PWP sirius/regulus

This Spark Of Black That I Seem To Love by JBlackMalfoyRosier jegulus, rosekiller, starcahserrosekiller, sexy times and also some plot?

Aftercare by JBlackMalfoyRosier Regulus comes home from his top surgery and his bfs make him feel better

What Master Wants by odysseushatepage Kreacher/REgulus crack

Kreacher's glow-up by fr0gfairy1 Kreacher/REgulus crack

Sweet Dreams Are Made of This by Anonymous Kreacher/regulus getting married

Professor Black (WIP) by CLBoden AU where Snape is replaced with REgulus, it changes some things mostly general attitude

birch trees loom by AllLivesMatter CRYING SCREAMING LYING ON THE FLOOR Avengers/HP crossover, from Avengers 1 to Endgame, Refulus is Black Widow, Evan is captain america James is the hulk ect ect, prepate tissues and selfcare supplies before going it ♥♥♥♥♥

in the boughs of the fir-tree by AllLivesMatter more Evan's POV of the above re: his and reg's unfullfilled potential

Hurtin’ by Bunny17 sad jegulus cuddles

Regulus Black's Dating Guide for Beginners by altaiswrites fake-date your crush to real-dating, by Regulus Black, Regulus/Severus

t Runs in the Family by altaiswrites uncle alphard visiting the black brothers

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try (And if I get burned, at least we were electrified) by RegulusBlackKinnieBecauseITooFearWater remus sirus and james having consensual kinky fun with regulus PWP

beg for divinity (in my breath) by grimstars jegulus PWP

Cruel Winds by BlueSundayCake regulus recruits severus for horcrux hunting

Innocence by SkyFireForever

Crownless King by SigynNightmare this was a good one

Shattered sanctuary by Coriaria *DE mission goes wrong* Refulus and Severus: well fuck. maybe lily will save our bollocks? I think it was a good one but it's been a month

Brighten the Dark by skeptique for onbeinganangel regulus is bakk and harry has hots for him

#fic rec #regulus black #tired ill do the rest later

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adultish-momma · 2 years

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Yuu vs. Overblots

This ended up being so much longer than I thought or intended for it to be, so I stuck it under the read more so you casually scrollers can peacefully go about your business without this absurdly long ramble being in the way.

But man I just need to vent and get some ideas down on metaphorical paper.

So I've been trying to map out and solidify scenes I want to rewrite from cannon and how they would go realistically and how they would affect and shape relationships between my Yuu and the other cast characters.

And my biggest snag so far was trying to figure out how I wanted Yuu to participate in the Overblot showdowns.

I like there to be as much realism as can be applied to a fictional magic-based fantasy world, and realistically Yuu can't really do much during Overblots. Unless they have essentially a professional background in fighting (which my Yuu definitely does not), they really can't even hope to make a dent in the physical aspect of the fight. And they just don't have the emotional background with these villains to try and make a difference by talking them out of it. If the Overblotted student's friends and fellow dorm members can't just talk them out of an Overblot, there's no realistic way Yuu can. They're basically a stranger.

The way Twisted Wonderland portrays Yuu in every battle, but especially in Overblot battles, is that Yuu is standing on the sidelines, essentially coaching the others and shouting words of encouragement, all while desperately trying to survive the chaos surrounding them. And IDK, maybe it's just me, but I feel like such a high stake, high-pressure, personal situation like the Overblot fights, that approach to "participation" would be fully ignored if not (justifiably) dismissed.

So my hiccup comes from the fact that I want Yuu to matter in these fights, I want Yuu's participation to help turn the tides. So how do I do this realistically, when the base characteristic I've been given is that Yuu is essentially removed from the fight? Not even the cut scenes acknowledge Yuu's existence once a fight has begun.

And then I remembered the Mage Stones.

I might be misremembering the lore behind them, but this is essentially a rewrite AU, so the lore I'm going with is this: Mages have essentially a well for a magic core, something that if used too much at once leads to extreme risks to their health and potentially their life. Mage stones act as a pump of sorts to their magic core, providing quick and easy access to a great amount of their magic core, but still in a controlled and measurable way. Mages can access their magic core without a Mage Stone of course, but it's much harder, like using an old-fashioned bucket on a rope method. Using magic without a mage stone is doable, but the effort exerted makes the mage much weaker.

And the first part of every Overblot transformation cut scene we are provided, is watching their Mage Stone fill with ink, and then the boys change form.

So add this all together, and you come to the same conclusion Yuu does. That when the boys Overblot, the quickest and most efficient way to cure them is to break their Mage Stone. The Mage Stone fueling the chandelier broke on impact, and it became useless as a magic conduit. Breaking an Overblot's Mage Stone would force the Overblot into a more vulnerable state, having to exert more effort to cast spells.

That is my solution. That is how my Yuu becomes an integral part of the team trying to defeat each Overblot. Because like I said, everybody, Overblot included, kinda forgets that Yuu is there. This means Yuu is the one with the best shot of sneaking up on the boy-turned-monster and stealing the Mage Stone.

And such a dangerous move has to lead to some very delicious, angst-based ideas, but I think I'll save those for the actual fics. If/and when I get around to writing them. But sorry for the long ramble, I just needed to actually write all this... logic, lore, whatever you wanna call it somewhere down where other people could hold me accountable to my own cannon.

If you made it this far, thanks! I have notes and scenes and dialogues written out for all the Book 1-4 dorm members (plus Malleus because we have actual chapter interactions with him) of at least one cannon scene I wanted to rewrite. I want to get those, and possibly the Pomefiore ones now that Book 5 is fully released, out before I do any Overblot-related things.

#momma speaks #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland overblots #twst overblot #when I tell you that we will be hopping on the angst train once I get to writing OB stuff #oh so many people are going to cry #and probably scream #it will be a little graphic #but where there is angst comfort wont be far behind #rewrite lore #Mirrors are Never to be Trusted

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puffpasstea · 2 years

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Matilda

A/N: Alright, so this one's longer than previous chapters, and a tad bit different stylistically, so I'm pretty nervous about it, lol. Feedback (both positive and negative) is always encouraged! Please do let me know what you thought of it!

Warnings: very light smut, some angst, some tipsy!Harry too. Chapter 6

Seeing Harry's place in the light of day was different. Though I'd been here before after nights of working on set, it now felt like a vacation from real life. I could not believe that a place as massive and as luxurious as this actually existed in the same town as my own dingy apartment. It felt like stepping into a fantasy world for 4 days. But, I should've known better than to act like the rules of real life didn't apply around here. No matter where I go, I can never run from myself.

Day 1, 5:01 PM.

I stepped out of Christopher's car and onto Harry's cobblestoned driveway. A fountain with a statue of Adonis acted as the centerpiece of the driveway, the sound of its trickling water greeting us. Harry's main doors were left ajar and I could smell cooking.

"Hello?" I knocked, though the door was open, I was not sure if I should just enter. I doubt that he could hear any sound at all over the loud speakers playing "Rich Girl."

"Harry! Where are you?" I called out into the spacious entryway.

The music got significantly lower, but wasn't turned off all the way. He must have heard me.

"I'm just over here!" His disembodied voice called out.

I followed the low hum of Daryl Hall and John Oates's chiding voices singing "And don't you knowwwwww, don't you know/That it's wrong to take what is given you..." to find Harry standing over the Kitchen counter with a clear bag of sea salt. He looked up as he noticed me approaching and wiped his hands on his apron.

"You made it! Hi" he took me in for a tight hug.

"Smells delicious in here. What's all this?"

"Well, we always order out. Figured I'd make us some dinner for a change. Where's your boyfriend?"

My eyes widened, taken aback by his words. Christopher and I had been "dating," sure, "seeing each other," yes. But "boyfriend" sounded a bit too serious.

"O-oh. Have I struck a nerve?" Harry glanced at me from the corner of his eye while stirring something in a bowl.

"What? no. It's fine...Christopher's just getting our bags and stuff. Can I help with anything?"

Upon closer inspection, I saw that Harry was inserting some lemon slices into a fish. "whoa! What're you doing?"

He shook his head, amused at my surprise, and maybe showing off just a little bit. "Salad and appetizers' in the fridge. I'm just about done here. But if you really wanna help, you can prep some side dishes. There's a bag of potatoes over there, and some asparagus." he gestured with his elbow to the other side of the kitchen where he'd washed some vegetables.

"Yeah, I can do potatoes."

"How was the drive over?"

"Oh, you know. long. Warm."

"yeah. Sorry about that...."

"Bro, the front garden's stunning!" Christopher's voice called out from the hallway. "Hey, mate." Harry paused his delicate work on the fish to go greet his friend. " wait til I show you the river on the other side It's gorgeous..." they hugged.

Shortly after our arrival, Sienna joined us. She'd brought Harry some flowers --to which he responded with a dramatic "awww, for me?! You shouldn't have"-- and even brought her beagle puppy along, with whom we were all in love. The puppy, though, knowing what's good for her, only liked Harry. She followed his every move, and even settled between his feet at dinner.

Harry set the table out in the garden, which was, as Christopher had noted so enthusiastically, stunning. Surrounded by so much greenery at sunset, as we all gathered around to enjoy Harry's admittedly impressive culinary skills. I couldn't have been more content that evening. The moment, though perfectly mundane, made my heart full.

After dinner, and some dessert, we all decided to end the night early and recover from the long drive. Harry, ever the attentive host, had set up the guest bedrooms perfectly down to every detail. The toiletries, the bedding, bedside table decked out with everything you could possibly need. The only problem was that he'd set me and Christopher up in the same room. Sharing the same bed.

It's not Harry's fault. How was he supposed to know that Christopher and I hadn't yet spent a single night together? We hadn't slept under the same roof yet, or even had sex. I guess it's not unreasonable to assume that two people who have been seeing each other for as long as we have might be comfortable enough with one another at this point. I was not, though, and Christopher never pushed it.

He immediately recognized my unease. "Hey, we don't have to squeeze together on this bed. I'm sure there's another guest room in this palace Harry's living out of. Or...even if there isn't! I can just sleep on the couch downstairs! Really, I'm an actor. I can literally fall asleep anywhere!"

I appreciated the effort that he put into making sure I was comfortable. I took his words in for a moment. "N-no. Don't be silly. It's a big enough bed, c'mon. we're just sleeping together, though. We're not 'sleeping together.'"

He laughed in an effort to lighten the mood.

"You know what I mean." I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, of course. Sleeping in the same bed doesn't automatically imply that anything has to happen. We're on the same page. I promise."

***

Christopher had kept his word. In fact, he fell asleep almost the second that his head hit the pillow. But, even though he was entirely respectful and gave me all the space I'd asked for, I still felt weird. I'd never shared a bed with another person before. I was way too aware of his body, laying there, right next to me. I tossed and turned all night while he slept, totally oblivious.

Day 2, 1:15 AM

Eventually, I decided to get out of bed and go sit outside for a bit. I brought the hoodie that Harry had lent me and put it over my pajamas, for extra warmth and a little comfort.

The garden was peaceful, and even in the dark with the pale moonlight, looked incredible. I felt instantly lighter when a gentle breeze moved through my hair. I closed my eyes and tried enjoy it.

"pppsssstt. Over here! Hey! Matilda!" I heard someone whisper-shouting and wondered if I'd gone completely insane. Is that all it takes now? a moment of quiet and my eyes shut, and I just start imagining Harry's voice calling me 'Matilda'?

I snapped out of my dreamy state when I felt a small pebble hitting my leg. I turned to look in its direction and saw, Harry, sitting there, in the dark, on a picnic blanket, underneath a tree, holding what appears to be a bottle of wine and a half-empty glass.

"What the fuck? You scared the shit out of me!" I sprinted towards him.

"Well, I didn't wanna make a lot of noise or wake anyone up, but thanks to your voice, now they'll wake up anyway!" He patted the spot next to him gesturing for me to sit down, so I did.

"What are you doing up?" He asked.

"Couldn't sleep." I shrugged, looking up at the starry sky.

"And your boy?"

I frowned, "he's not my 'boy.' Why'd you say it like that? ....And, no, Christopher's asleep."

"How else am I supposed to say it? ya boy? your fella. Your boo. Bae." he giggled and took a giant sip of his glass. "It's better than what you call him." He took another sip.

"Harry, are you drunk?"

"No." He said a little too quickly.

I stared at him silently. It was both thrilling and amusing to see Harry like this. His inhibitions down. He's usually so composed and delicate. It felt like being let in on a special secret.

"Okay, maybe a little drunk..."

"I have a lot of catching up to do, then" I went to grab the glass out of his hand, but he swatted my hand away. "No. No way. Not this sewer water. Let's get a better bottle. Come with me."

He got up clumsily and held out his hand to help me up. I grabbed the blanket that we'd been sitting on and followed him inside, all the way to the basement where his wine collection was.

He bent down to read the label and browsed for a moment.

"Ah! yes, this'll do." he grabbed a 1982 Bordeaux. Okay, now he was definitely showing off.

"Are you insane? we can't drink this! That's expensive! Where'd you even get this all the way out here?"

"Oh shut up, Matilda." He patted me on the head and retrieved two wine glasses, seemingly out of nowhere, in one of the crevices of his basement of treasures.

"Shall we?" he dramatically offered me his arm as we made our way upstairs. Though it was totally silly and I felt sure that this was just the drinking loosening him up, I liked goofy Harry.

***

"What do I call Christopher?" I asked, setting my glass down on the coffee table and leaning back into the couch

"hmm?"

"Earlier. Out there, in the garden, you said 'it's better than what you call him.' what do I call Christopher?"

"That!" he raise his eyebrows, swallowing his drink and sitting up. "You call him exactly that. 'Christopher.' Nobody calls him that. Not even on set. Everyone just says 'Chris.' Not you though. Just sounds formal. Like he's interviewing for a job."

My face dropped as I realized that he'd inadvertently identified the issue with my romantic life.

"Oh, sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's your business. Honestly, if you guys are happy, who am I to judge?"

I took a sip out of my drink to calm myself. "What, you mean your partners don't call you Harold?"

He laughed loudly, relieved I'd decided to make a joke of it.

"That, they never call me. They do call me other things, though." He cleared his throat and shifted so he was now sitting cross-legged, getting comfortable.

"Oh? Like what?"

"hmmm... let's see...oh, umm I've been called a 'fool,' umm... 'an arrogant son of a bitch,' what else? oh I know! 'Selfish' tends to be a popular one!" his laugh stopped dead in his throat when he looked up at me and saw that I wasn't laughing.

"oh god" he squealed. "I've done the thing, haven't I?"

"what thing?"

"Oh, you know. The thing where you accidentally overshare and say something revealing about yourself thinking it's gonna land as a funny joke, but it's actually kind of tragic when said out loud." he covered the top half of his face with his hand in embarrassment.

I tried my best reassuring voice, "not at all! It's fine. I promise. I just find it hard to believe that you're any of those things. I mean, does a selfish person constantly buy his friends take out and feed the crew on set and give people rides whenever they need to go somewhere? You've practically turned this place into a hotel for us!"

"That's all very sweet, Matilda, but, umm" he looked down at his feet and swallowed his breath. "My motives aren't entirely pure."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I was dumped fairly recently. Days before I flew out here, actually." He said matter-of-factly

"God, I'm so sorry."

"I tried to tell you. It's why I wanted to talk so badly. After we, you know, kissed in the car. But anyway, I figure the less time I spend alone, the easier it is not to wallow in my pain, so I like having everyone over all the time. see? not so selfless..."

I tried to wrap my mind around what Harry had just told me. I'd assumed discussing the impulsive kiss in the car that night would be humiliating because he'd want to talk about my feelings and let me down easy. It never crossed my mind that there'd be some other reason for his hesitation. Suddenly, I felt like my heart was in the pit of my stomach.

"Hey, you okay? I haven't ruined your night, have I? Gosh, this happens when I drink; I just start babbling."

"No, no. You haven't. I'm glad you told me. I mean- are you feeling okay about it? What can I do to help?"

"Nothing! Really. Just being around you, seeing you everyday- It helps." He smiled, his eyes twinkling in the soft light of the room.

I felt my cheeks turn red. Not wanting him to see me blush, I looked away, but Harry caught my face between his thumb and index finger and turned me towards him. "I'm being serious. You're so- it's hard to be around you and not feel-"

Instead of finishing his sentences, he leaned forward and kissed me. Softly, at first, but the kiss quickly turned firm, making me moan into his mouth. I moved back into the couch, Harry hovering over me, never breaking the kiss, as his hands traveled down the sides of my body and found the bottom hem of the hoodie.

He paused a moment to catch his breath.

"Not that I don't love seeing you in my hoodie, but I really want that thing off you. Now."

I put my arms up as he peeled the hoodie off of me, revealing my pajama top. He moved his hand to the hem of the top, as if to take it off too, but surprised me when he went back to kissing. I ran my fingers through his curls, my breath getting hot and heavy as he trailed his lips down my body leaving wet kisses along my jaw line and neck. When he reached my breasts, he motioned for me to remove my top.

"Uh-Harry, wait." I sat up and crossed my arms over my chest.

He stopped his fervent touch immediately backing away, and looking up at me.

"You alright?"

"I- um. this is embarrassing, but" I felt my throat clamp up and tears sting the back of my eyes, but i was determined not to cry. Nobody likes a grown ass woman who cries during sex. BEFORE sex even happens.

"What it is, love? You can talk to me...." he rubbed a soothing hand over my knee.

"Could we- gosh, it's nothing...just- could we go s-slow, please? it's been a while since I've...oh god, I don't know why this is so hard to say. It's been a while since I've had sex. So, could we just, you know, go a bit slow?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth, i looked down and let myself shed a couple of tears before furiously wiping at my eyes with the palms of my hands hoping I hadn't opened the floodgates. I dared not look into Harry's eyes or try to figure out what he was thinking. In fact, I wished I hadn't said anything at all. I wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole.

"Wait, s-so...you and Chris haven't...?"

"No. Uh, not yet." I forced myself to look at him like an adult person having an adult conversation. I thought that I could see the concern on his face give way to a hint of, something else. Relief, perhaps, or a shred of satisfaction upon hearing that Christopher and I hadn't slept together, but that could just have been my tipsy and sleepy brain projecting a fantasy.

Harry quickly composed himself, clearing his throat and speaking reassuringly. "Listen, we don't have to do anything right now. Not that I don't want to. because believe me, I do. I'm sure if you look at what's going on beneath the....umm belt area...it's not a secret that I want you. But, I absolutely don't want to push you, if you're not comfortable."

"I want to! I am! I'm comfortable. I promise. Maybe not with just anyone. But with you, I'm comfortable."

"fuck, babe. You looking at me like that and saying those things to me... C'mere" he leaned in and kissed me passionately. I felt myself melt into the kiss, his lips soft and tasting faintly of the wine we'd been drinking. He was utterly irresistible.

He wasted no time in picking up where we had left off. going back to making his way down my body. As my breathing picked up, I felt him weave the fingers of his right hand through mine, then bring my hand up to his lips to kiss it.

"You alright ?"

"mhmm" I nodded.

"May I take your top off now?"

"yes, please, Harry."

"well, since you asked so nicely" he smiled.

His attempted humor made me realize that i'd been holding my breath in unintentionally. So I exhaled and let my body relax to his touch.

He tossed my top on the floor. I felt his eyes scanning my body with admiration. No one had ever looked at me that way before. "wow." He whispered to himself.

"Perfect" he kissed my collarbone. "You're perfect." he wrapped an arm around around me helping me lean back into the couch.

Something about the vulnerable position that I found myself in, exposed before his sharp green eyes made me feel supple and open for him.

Feeling him fiddle with the strap of my bra shook me out of that dazed feeling. "Har-umm.. could we....keep the bra on?"

"Yeah, of course." he spoke into the skin of my shoulder as he kissed and lightly grazed it.

"Sorry, I just don't feel--"

"Hey, hey, listen." He stopped, looking up at me and making a clearly conscious effort to soften his eyes. "You don't need to apologize. You don't need to explain yourself. Boundaries are to be respected. If you don't like something, just say the word. want you to be comfortable, okay?"

I nodded, hypnotized by his magnetic presence and the comforting words he spoke. Somehow, he not only knew exactly what to say, but also how to say it.

"For you too."

"what's that, honey?"

"Boundaries for you too. You should also feel comfortable letting me know what you like or don't like."

He smiled, revealing his adorable dimples. "You can count on it."

"Harry, one more thing? Just so we don't have to keep pausing...."

"what is it?"

"Do you have a condom on you?"

"embarrassingly, no, I don't. I'll go get one from upstairs."

He practically ran upstairs, skipping two steps at a time like a little kid.

I tried to relax and brace myself for what I knew was about to happen. I couldn't believe this is how my night was going. The thought of feeling Harry's skin on mine again had me tingling from head to toe and I couldn't stop smiling.

"Yeah, mate, I think she's downstairs." I heard Harry's voice from up the stair case. "I think she just couldn't sleep. I don't know."

Realizing that he wasn't alone, I scrambled to find and put my shirt back on. In the rush of it all, with my arms flailing about, trying to get dressed in time, I knocked over one of the wine glasses and spilled it everywhere. Jumping to my feet, I search furiously for a box of tissues. "fuck. fuck. fuck."

"Hey, look who I ran into upstairs." The expression on Harry's face was unreadable. I looked up to see Christopher by his side. "He was looking for you."

"Oh, Hi." I smiled at Christopher nervously.

"I woke up and you weren't around. Thought maybe you were in the bathroom or something. Where have you been?"

" Sleepless. Got antsy and.... spilled wine apparently... I'm so sorry, Harry." I wanted to say sorry for more than just the wine. I wanted to say much more to him.

Harry saw the stain on the carpet and rushed to the kitchen "I'll get that. It's- it's fine." He didn't meet my gaze or even glance my direction.

"Let's get you to bed. You get clumsy when you're sleepy." Christopher reached for my hand.

We went back upstairs leaving Harry behind to clean up the mess.

***

Day 2, 6:35 A.M.

"Good Morning!! I made pancakes!!" Harry's voice called out to us as Christopher and I descended the stairs, Sienna and her puppy trailing behind us. We'd all agreed to wake up early and go on a long hike this morning. I don't know about everyone else, but, I'd assumed that meant breakfast would be protein bars and coffee in to-go cups. Not...all this.

"When'd you wake up that you had time to do all this?" Sienna asked, her dog leaping out of her arms and whining affectionately at Harry with a sweet tail wag.

"Never went to bed." Harry replied smugly, as if an all-nighter were something to brag about. It was my fault. He was up all night because I'm an idiot. I watched as he took a piece of cheese from the amalgamation of breakfast foods that he had arranged on the counter next to the stove, and bent over giving it to the dog. He looked tired, and his hand, which held the pancake spatula, was shaky.

Christopher joined him by the stove to help. "Bro, how....how much espresso have you had?" gesturing towards the Moka pot and 6 espresso cups in the kitchen sink.

"Not sure. It all gets a bit hazy after, like, the 3rd shot i think? Which reminds me. I should make coffee!!"

"Harry you're jittery" Sienna took the pancake spatula out of his hand and took over the cooking.

"But I'm fine, I promise! Look I made hash browns. And eggs sunny side up, and there's fresh juice in the juicer!"

"You're done. Go to bed, Harry. or at least the couch." Christopher declared, pushing Harry by the shoulders and leading him away from the stove. "Hey, would you see to it that he actually makes it to his bedroom? Sienna and I will finish up here. We'll call you when breakfast's on the table."

I nodded, putting on my best motherly demeanor. "Let's go, Harry. c'mon." I put a hand on his back leading him to the bedroom while the dog followed us.

In his room, I closed the blinds and turned off all the lights explaining that he's probably overstimulated and wired from all that caffeine and that total darkness would do him good. He plopped on the bed and gestured for me to come join him.

"Don't be dumb." I rolled my eyes.

"Why not? That's not how you felt last night!" He tried to wink playfully but in his current state it could've just as easily been an eye-twitch.

"Christopher's right outside. in your kitchen." I reminded him.

"So, we're waiting til you break up with him?"

"Harry- I-"

"No. Don't. Don't say it."

"I'm not going to break up with him."

"Why the fuck not?!" He stood up, off the bed, and walked towards me. The dog pawing at his ankles, so he bent down and picked her up.

I turned towards the door and shut it carefully. "Would you lower your voice!"

"Fine, just tell me why not? What about last night?"

"Harry, don't you think it's concerning that we only gravitate towards each other when something's wrong? when we're emotional, when we're drunk? That's not how healthy relationships should start!"

"We only do that because you won't give us a real chance. Won't communicate." he gestured with his hand moving the dog around.

"Why would I, when I have a good thing going with Christopher? I like Christopher. He's kind. He's there for me. He's patient.... and please put the dog down, you're shaking her!"

"And I'm not those things?.... don't worry, she likes it." Harry reached out to put a hand on my arm, but I pulled away. "I can do slow. I can do calm. We can take this one step at a time. Any pace you want."

"No. No we can't, Harry." I shook my head, tears falling down my face.

"Why not?" He sighed, frustrated, setting the dog down.

"Because being around you makes me crazy. dizzy with all sorts of feelings. A pit burning in my stomach. Like my skin is on fire! Besides, you told me yourself, you JUST got out of a relationship. You haven't even had time to deal with it yet-"

"Oh bullshit! Don't throw that in my face. Don't you see? that dizziness, the skin on fire...that's passion. It's a GOOD thing. You know what I think? I think it scares you, you're running away and choosing the safe, boring option because-"

"I'm done. this conversation is over."

I turned on my heels, ran out the door and slammed it behind me.

***

The whole day felt like a never-ending nightmare of emotional torture. The worst part of it is, I wasn't sure if I was the victim or the perpetrator. Harry followed me with his eyes all day. Every time I reached for the fruit bowl at breakfast, or licked a drop of maple syrup off my finger, Harry was staring. On our hike, if I bent down to tie my shoes, or if Christopher held my hand, or put his arm around me, Harry was looking. I wasn't sure if he was judging, teasing, or trying to shoot lasers out of his eyes and destroy me.

That evening, as we all gather in Harry's living room, plopped on the sofa, watching some Netflix show and working our way through a couple of pizzas, I received a text from my father.

Dad (7:03 PM): We're close by. Should be in town in about 45 minutes. Wanna meet up for dinner?

I felt the air get sucked out of my lungs as I read the words that appeared on my screen. My body tensed up and my heart was racing. I'd avoided my family to the point where the distance brought them to me. If I wasn't so anxious I'd find the irony amusing. Christopher must have noticed the nauseated look on my face because he sat up and asked me if everything was alright.

"Yeah, it's just my dad." I attempted to sound reassuring, but I think everyone in the room heard the crack in my voice.

"You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, my family's in town. They wanna see me."

"Oh, that's nice." Christopher picked up on my hesitation, and, judging by Sienna's muting of the TV, and Harry putting his plate down, so did everyone else. "It's nice...right?"

"Yeah. I guess. My family's just complicated. I'm gonna get dressed and go meet them."

I walked out of the room as quickly as I could, extremely aware of their concerned gazes. While I appreciated their sympathy, I also felt embarrassed and worried that I'd burden them with my nonsense. I needed to be alone.

I ran straight into the guest bathroom and shut the door behind me sliding down the door and falling to the floor in tears. Minutes felt like hours as I sat against the door attempting (and failing) to catch my breath and stop my tears.

There was a knock on the door.

"You alright in there?" It was Harry.

I said nothing.

"Can hear you crying, you know."

I parted my lips and took a deep breath, ready to yell at him to leave me alone, but I felt tongue-tied.

"Hello? Please let me in!"

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #matilda #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #dom!harry #harry's house

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mediaevalmusereads · 6 months

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Say Yes to the Marquess. By Tessa Dare. Avon, 2014.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Series: Castles Ever After #2

Summary: After eight years of waiting for Piers Brandon, the wandering Marquess of Granville, to set a wedding date, Clio Whitmore has had enough. She's inherited a castle, scraped together some pride, and made plans to break her engagement.

Not if Rafe Brandon can help it. A ruthless prizefighter and notorious rake, Rafe is determined that Clio will marry his brother—even if he has to plan the dratted wedding himself.

So how does a hardened fighter cure a reluctant bride's cold feet?

● He starts with flowers. A wedding can't have too many flowers. Or harps. Or cakes.

● He lets her know she'll make a beautiful, desirable bride—and tries not to picture her as his.

● He doesn't kiss her.

● If he kisses her, he definitely doesn't kiss her again.

● When all else fails, he puts her in a stunning gown. And vows not to be nearby when the gown comes off.

● And no matter what—he doesn't fall in disastrous, hopeless love with the one woman he can never call his own.

***Full review below.***

Content Warnings: graphic sexual content, suggestion of suicide, disordered eating, animal death

Overview: This series isn't very long, and since I've already read books 1 and 3, I figured I might as well do book 2. Overall, I was thoroughly entertained by this book. Though it wasn't as thematically coherent as book 1, it did have some delicious narrative angst. I also really enjoyed the dynamic between the protagonists, so for those reasons, this book gets 4 stars from me.

Writing: Dare's writing is about what you'd expect of both a Dare novel and a romance. It's quick, easy to understand, and filled with the author's distinct humor. I don't have much to say about it that hasn't already been said in previous reviews; just know that I don't think the prose is bad by any means. I always find Dare rather light hearted and fun.

Plot: The plot of this book follows Clio Whitmore as she tries to convince her fiance's brother to release her from the marriage contract she made 8 years ago. Clio became engaged to Piers Brandon just as his international political career took off; after 8 years of waiting and not seeing him for more than a few days at a time, Clio is ready to call it quits. She appeals to Piers's brother, Rafe, who, as acting Marquess of Granville, has the ability to quietly dissolve the contract and thus spare Clio and Piers any public embarrassment. The trouble is, Rafe has his own reasons for wanting Clio and Piers to marry, and he does everything in his power to make her change her mind.

What I enjoyed most about this plot was the angst and the yearning between Clio and Rafe. We learn early on that Rafe has been in love with Clio for a while, and seeing her become engaged to Piers puts her out of reach. Rafe can't bring himself to betray his brother by seducing Clio himself, and releasing her from the marriage contract would not only be a blow to his brother, but would put Rafe's own future at risk. Watching the characters try to work out their attraction as well as their non-romantic desires was very satisfying, and I think Dare handled the plot with grace.

The only things that weren't satisfactory were a few things that I personally didn't like (the cake fight, for example, felt a little silly) and the ending, which felt rushed. Dare seems to have a tendency to rush her endings in this series, and while I understand a romance novel isn't typically 400+ pages long, I do think some scenes in the middle could have been cut so the scenes leading to the end could have been expanded.

Characters: Clio, our heroine, is generally easy to root for because her desire to live her own life is sympathetic. I really liked how her character arc involves deciding to be an independent woman and earn her own income, as well as deciding that she was not willing to wait around for a man to come and take care of her. I also really appreciated that Clio's flaw - not wanting to hurt Piers and offload the dirty work on Rafe - was explored, and Clio's narrative had her learning to be more assertive.

Rafe, our hero, was also fairly sympathetic in that he had a lot of angst tied up with being the imperfect second son of a powerful family. Rafe constantly feels like he can't measure up to his brother and simultaneously loathes and respects him. This combo made for a more complex emotional portrait, and watching Rafe figure out who he wanted to be was incredibly satisfying.

Clio's siblings were a nice addition, and I very much appreciated that Clio's relationship with them was complex, like Rafe's relationship with Piers. Daphne is a little judgmental and is always putting her sisters down, yet Clio makes very clear that she still loves her. Phoebe, their youngest sister, is perceived as odd because she has some traits associated with autism; I really liked how Clio navigated trying to help Phoebe exist in a world that doesn't understand her while also learning to accept her sister as she is.

Romance: The romance between Clio and Rafe is deliciously angsty. As I mentioned above, the fact that Clio is engaged to Piers means that there really isn't a clear way for the protagonists to get together without hurting someone, and watching them try was narratively very engaging.

I also enjoyed the fact that a big part of their arc as a couple involved respecting each other's unique interests and gifts. Clio wants to start her very own brewery and Rafe is set on reclaiming the championship title in prize fighting; while each tries to convince the other to give up their ambitions, over time, they become more supportive, and I liked that neither of them had to sacrifice their personal interests in order to be worthy of a romantic relationship.

TL;DR: Say Yes to the Marquess is a romance with some forbidden love, but is mostly notable for the way it navigates complex sibling relationships and characters' individual goals. While there are some moments I found a bit silly and the end does rush a bit, this is a fairly strong installment in the Castles Ever After series.

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thingummies-and-whatsits · 1 year

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Lewis Fic Recs: From the Outside

Stories told from an outsider point of view. As usual, please feel free to add fics to the list!

Initiation Rite by divingforstones

1,454 Words, James/Robbie, Rated G, No Archive Warnings Apply Gurdip pov. Gurdip warns off a new recruit from an ill-advised prank, and considers the loyalty and protectiveness between DI and bagman. This fic gives Gurdip such a strong voice of his own, and his thoughtful observations add so much poignancy to each small moment between the other two.

Band Practice by Hekate1308

1,521 Words, James/Robbie, Rated G, No Archive Warnings Apply Outsider POV. James' band members observe their guitar player over the years, and notice a thing or two when his DI starts to show up at concerts. The quiet, observant affection that they show for James is quite heartwarming, as is the affectionate banter amongst themselves.

Friendship by Barcardivodka

1,194 Words, Gen, Rated G, No Archive Warnings Apply Laura pov. While she and Robbie help James through quitting smoking, Laura muses on their friendship. There's just so much understated care in this fic, and it's interesting to see the ways in which Laura's impressions of the other two have changed over time.

Chaperone by wendymr

100 Words, James/Robbie, Rated G, No Archive Warnings Apply Laura pov. It's obvious to her, even if they still haven't figured it out yet. In which Laura is all of us.

His Other Half by greenapricot

3,119 Words, James/Robbie, background Laura/Jean, Rated T, No Archive Warnings Apply Laura pov. Five times Laura suspected there was something going on between Robbie and James. A mix of lighthearted and more serious moments, all of which are more revealing than either detective realizes. Laura has a sharp eye for the nuances of their body language, and a delightful talent for throwing them off balance. Plus her relationship with Jean is an extra treat.

Innocent Fun by wendymr

1,506 Words, James/Robbie, Rated G, No Archive Warnings Apply Laura & Jean pov. Part 2 of a series, but can be read as a standalone. Laura and Jean go out for drinks and Jean collects on a bet. The banter and friendship between them is just delicious—and dangerous once they start plotting. Robbie and James have no idea what they're in for.

Complicity by divingforstones

4,127 Words, James/Robbie, Rated G, No Archive Warnings Apply Laura & Jean pov. Angst with a happy ending. When noble intentions and self-doubt get in the way of Robbie and James' mutual feelings for each other, Laura and Jean conspire to force some sense into them. The repressed pain and emotional divide between the two detectives is heartbreaking, but all too believable.

Filling In the Blanks by wendymr

3,439 Words, Gen, Rated G, No Archive Warnings Apply Lyn pov. Lyn asks to meet with James, alone, to talk about Monkford, and begins to understand what exactly went into making his arrest. Lyn is as sharply observant as her father, and this fic does a great job adding depth to her character and exploring how she deals with her own grief at her mother's death.

Never Dull For Long by loves_books

2,288 Words, unrequited James/Robbie, Laura/Robbie, Rated T, No Archive Warnings Apply Lizzie pov. During a stakeout, Lizzie contemplates the life of a detective, and worries about her DI. Lizzie's protectiveness, and the growing friendship between her and James, are a balm against the heartbreak of watching a pining James agree to act as Robbie's best man when he marries Laura.

Unexpected Evidence by grenapricot

941 Words, James/Robbie, Rated G, No Archive Warnings Apply Lizzie pov. Lizzie overhears a quiet moment between her bosses and suddenly a great many things makes sense. Lizzie is so perceptive and observant in this, and it's heartwarming to see the level of quiet understanding and communication that has developed between her and James.

I Really Don't Understand People Sometimes by Somniare

3,338 Words, James/Robbie, Rated T, No Archive Warnings Apply Monty pov. A worried Monty has had enough. Robbie is increasingly out of sorts and working late, and James hasn’t spent an evening there in ages. But what can a cat do to fix things? Monty's voice is a perfectly catlike combination of affection and selfishness.

Cat's-Eye by Hyarrowen

1,714 Words, James/Robbie, Rated T, No Archive Warnings Apply Monty pov. Monty could never understand why James went home in the evening, when even a dog could figure out that both men wanted him to stay. Eventually, he decides to give them some encouragement. Unsurprisingly, Monty shows more emotional intelligence than his pair of oblivious humans in this fic.

#inspector lewis #itv lewis #james hathaway #robbie lewis #laura hobson #jean innocent #gurdip sohal #lewis/hathaway #LewisFicRecs

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thisbuildinghasfeelings · 1 year

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I think this is part of the storyline where the writers botched it by having Carlos keep the secret this entire time that's just not going to go over well- and Rafa did say that it was mainly Carlos not telling TK that caused him to walk into the situation unaware. Which- whatever- can't change it now. (but I wonder if carlos will reflect on that eventually)

I really think if Carlos lashes out, it'll be something that comes back in episode 4 when he's held hostage. Like, he'll be not only probably physically tortured, but mentally because he left things with TK in a rough area and he KNOWS what that would do to TK.

TK's lashed out before and they got through it. And obviously they will here too.

I'm not too worried about this. Honestly, I'm ok with Carlos lashing out a little bit. Not because I think TK deserves it...I don't think TK did anything wrong at all. But I can understand Carlos being upset that TK went to see Iris without telling him. It's not exactly fair, but people aren't always fair and rational, especially when under great pressure. I can especially understand Carlos being upset when he finds out that TK did this while he's terrified for Iris' safety without a clue of where she might be. I'm also pretty sure that Carlos is going to ultimately be blaming himself the most. Carlos is a beautiful yet flawed character, and for the first time we're really exploring those flaws. I am absolutely here for that.

Also, I think you're right about how Carlos will feel during episode 4 if he does really lash out at TK. I've seen a lot of people discussing the delicious angst potential of TK and Carlos being in a fight when Carlos goes missing, but so far I've only seen people focusing on how that will affect TK. What about Carlos? If he lashes out at the love of his life for something that becomes very clear was not TK's fault at all, how is he going to feel when he's being held captive? He might die, he would never get to see TK again, he would never get to apologize...I think the angst potential is just as great (if not greater) when it comes to Carlos!

When we get to the end of episode 4, will I be able to point out some things I wish the writers had done differently? Most likely. But I'm not going to dwell on that. I'm confident that there will be a lot more to enjoy about the next two episodes. (And when I say "enjoy" I mean destroy me with angst and then put me back together again with Ronen and Rafa's acting when TK and Carlos are reunited)

#anon ask #lone star speculation

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eywaseclipse · 2 months

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FAQ

🌱Welcome! I’m Mari. My pronouns are she/her. I’ve been a fan of the incredible Avatar universe since I was 12.

🌱I’m a 27 year old artist (and budding writer if I say so myself)

🌱I don’t want any minors on my blog

🍃Now let’s get to the good stuff🍃

Who Do I Write For?:✅

Jake

Tonowari

So’lek

Teylan

Tsu’tey

Neteyam

Lo’ak

What Do I Write?: ✅

Smut

Angst

Fluff

Breeding kinks

Age gaps (usually no bigger than 10 years)

General action/ violence

✨My favorite trope of all time is enemies to lovers which I utilize a lot in my works

✨Not to mention a delicious slow burn

What Don’t I Write?: 🛑

Dubious consent

Somnophilia

Violence used in sexual acts

Degradation play

CNC

Stepcest/ incest

Non-canon sexual orientation for characters (this does not include threesomes)

Smut for minors

Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Spider are children and I will not write explicit material for them

‼️All previous work including smut has been erased due to serious reconsideration of the questionable discourse around alien culture and age differences on Pandora

I am not comfortable justifying this furthermore and the lines are far too blurred. When I first made the blog I unfortunately felt immense pressure to write for those characters. We all seemed to have this collective delusion that alien ages were different because of them being on Pandora, or that they’re similar to animal-like years etc. So I take accountability there. I would’ve deleted my works much sooner but I was on a 7 month hiatus with my app deleted. I could not justify it anymore. Please respect my decisions. It is wrong.

There will be no aging up the characters for smut as well.

Implied romance is fine

🪐Bonus🪐

Who is My OC? :

🌱Name: Tani te Omi Peyral’ite

🌱Daughter of the mighty hunter Peyral and Taktu te Omi (character I made up)

🌱Clan: Omatikaya

🌱Age: 20’s

🌱Height: 8’8” she’s one of the tallest female na’vi for her age group

🌱Ikran: She tamed a beautiful indigo almost black female Ikran with scatters of bright bioluminescent spots named Oare which means Moon in Na’vi

(pronounced Oh-R-Ay with rolled ‘r’)

🌱Special Skills: Archery, Ikran flying, weaving and craftsmanship, spear fishing, and hand to hand combat thanks to Jake Sully’s informative combat lessons

🌱Her Favorite Food: minced hexapede meat with rice and vegetables stuffed in a smoked hand wrapped banana leaf, Dawn Fruit for its sour tangy flavor, bladder polyps for the saltiness, thistle bud for snacking

✨Trivia✨

🌱Tani was a young child when the battle of the Hallelujah Mountains took place so she stayed back with her grandmother and other children while the elders looked after them. She had an older sister named Zetey the same age as Neytiri who was killed in battle and regularly talks to her at the spirit tree

🌱Experiencing war at such a young age significantly changed her and the way she acts, many elders in the clan commend her for her stoic attitude and maturity.

🌱She leads a very hectic lifestyle serving as one of the high ranking warriors in the clan under Jake’s leadership alongside her parents

🌱She secretly wishes for a quiet life and large family dabbling into healing work and weaving goods for the clan

🌱She has an even temper and is not usually tempted to lash out, she’s very calculated and cunning

🌱Every hunting festival she makes new garments usually showcasing a significant event that occurred before the big hunt

🌱She has a large collection of beads and rocks she’s received from both Tuk and Lo’ak she keeps in a special bowl by her bedside at all times

🌱After joining union with Jake she collected a rock from the river where they had a heart to heart and strung it onto her songcord

🌱She has a soft spot for Lo’ak being the younger sibling herself and often defends him and tries to get Jake to soften his attitude

🌱She ends up having 2 more babies with Jake, a boy, and another girl

🌱She and Ronal end up becoming great friends and their babies have many play dates together

🌱Tani and Jake have matching Metkayina tattoos on their shoulders

#mine #avatar edits #avatar explore page #avatar for you #new avatar blog #avatar fics #avatar the way of water #avatar 2009 #new avatar writer #new writer #avatar writing #avatar blog #avatar writers of tumblr #avatar faq #avatar characters #avatar series #avatar oc #james cameron avatar #avatar

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thelightofthebane · 8 months

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through the good and bad and all in between

Summary: Magnus was born a warlock. Magnus became a mundane for love and by self-sacrificing tendencies. Magnus turned into a vampire after an act of spite and revenge.

A story about survival, new identities, love through adversities, and accepting changes.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s03e17 Heavenly Fire, Vampire Magnus Bane, Turned without consent, Major Character Undeath, Immortal to Mortal to Immortal, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Boyfriend Alec Lightwood, Soft Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Cat & Alec friendship, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending

Rating: E

Chapters: 10

Words: Around 23k~

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2023: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

You can read it on AO3 or the sixth chapter below ~

Chapter 6 - And this is how it's supposed to be

It looked like normal blood.

But it hidden a power greater than they could’ve imagined.

“I thought Simon became a Daylighter as some side effect of the Soul Sword’s light.” Magnus frowned, still trying to comprehend what Alexander has just told him.

That was the official version after all. Something about how being in contact with Clary’s pure blood plus the Soul Sword’s energy affected Simon and he became a rare kind of vampire – something, thus, impossible to recreate.

“I thought too, until earlier today when Jace finally told me the truth. It’s actually something pretty simple, but that could turn both my parabatai and his girlfriend into a beacon for vampires.”

Magnus nodded in understanding. Not all vampires would be polite enough to say ‘please, could you give me a bit of your blood so I won’t be burned alive under the sun?’ They would actually suck Jace and Clary dry.

“Not even Clary knows about this. It’s a secret that Jace and Simon have been keeping only between themselves. At least for serious matters those two can actually shut up and keep a secret.” Alec murmured almost grumpily, then cleared his throat. “Anyway, now we both know, too.”

“Why? If Jace is doing this out of guilt just because I lost my magic in exchange of helping him, it’s unnecessary. I made my own choice.”

“It’s not about guilt, Magnus. I think it’s his own version of thank you for, you know, saving him from Lilith. If you haven’t done that, I’d have been forced to kill him. It would have destroyed me. Not only because he is my parabatai, but it would also be my brother’s blood on my hands. He knows that. And he’s grateful for you preventing that.”

Magnus shrugged helplessly as if to say it was nothing, but Alec weren’t having none of that. Taking Magnus’ hand and kissing his knuckles, he spoke softly, almost as if it were a secret.

“Jace might not show it, but he also cares about you a lot, Magnus. You’re family, and we do everything we can for family.”

Magnus’ Adam’s apple bobbed, and he turned his gaze again to the uncapped bottle of concentrated Angel blood.

What if it didn’t work? Though his heritage was of fire and shadow, Magnus was never one to hide in darkness. He liked the light too much, and thrived on it. Being a Child of the Night damped his joy, and he could live with that.

It was just that…

He really didn’t want to.

“Well, if nothing else, I’ll already have my fill for lunch,” he joked, though there was no lightness in his eyes.

His Alexander, never to ignore his distress, kissed his forehead. “Be brave, my love.”

And what else Magnus could do? Still a little hesitant, but more resolute than before, Magnus picked the bottle and took a small sip.

He didn’t know if it was going to work or not, but oh… It was delicious.

Almost addictive.

He drank everything almost in one go, feeling the most sated since waking up to this new life. And fortunately, it was enough to fill his stomach and quench his thirst, or else he might’ve not resisted taking a taste from Alec - whose blood always smelled delicious for him.

And Magnus definitely didn’t want to go there. Yet. Or maybe never.

A thought for another day, however.

“Do you feel any different?”

Magnus shook his head, but was already heading towards the door.

“Only one way to find out.”

Before he could launch himself into the sun, though, Alec grabbed his wrist. His eyes were wide in fear and panic.

“Can’t you just…” He waved his hand. “Put only an arm outside. Just in case it didn’t work.”

“Oh my darling…” Magnus lifted his hands and held Alec’s face in between them. “You have been so afraid all this time, haven’t you? Don’t you worry, okay? I won’t do that to myself. To us.”

Alec searched all over Magnus’ face for reassurance, and seemingly finding it, released a shaking breath. Nodding, he let Magnus’ go and stepped back, giving space to his boyfriend.

Smiling in gratitude, Magnus took only one deep breath - which he didn’t need anymore but the simple action helped to center himself - and then turned, marching forward to the afternoon sun without hesitation.

The world became brighter, lighter, warmer.

~*~

They were lazily making out on a sunbed at the back yard, Magnus refusing to go inside for hours already after finding out that he really became a Daylighter. Not that Alec minded. Seeing Magnus smiling and happier was enough for the Shadowhunter.

Only after they were beyond sated and just cuddling, the day giving way for a chilly night, that Alec dared to bring out the topic that was weighing heavily in his mind.

“Have you thought about Raphael’s request?”

For a moment Magnus tensed, but soon enough he relaxed again in Alec’s arms.

“I don’t know if I’m the best as Raphael’s replacement. I may know how their politics work, but I’m fairly new as a vampire myself. How can I expect to have their trust in leading them?”

“They know you. Maybe not as a vampire, but as a Downworlder like them. An immortal, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were older than most of the clan.”

“It’s still uncharted territory.” Magnus insisted.

“Magnus, you may have changed what you are, but not who you are. Your heart is still the same, and I’m pretty sure your brain is, too. You can still give advice. You have centuries of knowledge in magic and life overall. You created the portal and so many other things. You can still create new things, if not for the Warlock community, but for the vamps. I’m certain they would appreciate that and…”

Alec started to wave his hand aimlessly in the air like he sometimes did when immersing himself at some topic and laying out all the facts to prove his point. It was endearing, actually. It was somehow soothing to have such a small thing unchangeable even when their worlds kept colliding and in the brink of destruction and spinning all the time.

“... And, and we all know how you always liked to eat, from simple things to more ostentatious ones, so don’t tell me you won’t try to indulge yourself with something that may work with blood. Like, hiring some chefs and trying together thousands of recipes while combining different types of blood. You would become their favorite leader in no time! Maybe Maia would love new ideas for Taki’s, too.”

Magnus hummed, humoring his Shadowhunter. “Yeah, that sounds like me, alright.”

“Exactly! The New York clan wouldn’t know what-” Alec’s voice trailed off when a fire message came flying suddenly. He took it from the air and read the urgent message on it.

His expression closed off almost immediately, his eyes thunderous.

“What is it?” Magnus immediately sat up, worried.

“They found Camille. In a crime scene.”

None talked for a full minute. Alec started typing furiously on his phone while Magnus’ thoughts scrambled like dandelion seeds in the wind.

Only when they suddenly crashed and Magnus blinked out of his reverie, looking up and seeing Alec already looking back at him with worry in his eyes, that he felt coherent enough to form words.

“How…” He cleared his sudden dry throat. “How bad is it?”

“A carnifice. Over a dozen of dead mundanes. Three were children. There was a toddler.”

Silence.

The kind that could suffocate.

Then, Alec sighed. “Magnus, I don’t think imprisonment is enough for her now. She committed too many crimes. She has been killing mundanes left and right. She killed you and Simon. She will certainly get the death sentence, be it from the Clave or the Warlock Council, and I don’t want to–”

“I trust you.” Magnus interrupted him. “I- I don’t want to know anything about her anymore. If I could, I’d have my memories of her completely erased. So, I trust you to make the right call.”

Alec nodded slowly, though he was still very worried about Magnus.

“I have to go back to the Institute to assemble a team. Do you want me to call Cat or Raphael to keep you company?”

Magnus shook his head. “I want to be alone.” Crossing his arms over his chest, the vampire got up from the sunbed. “Go do your job, Shadowhunter. I’ll be here when you come back.”

Without waiting for a reply, Magnus practically fled back to Ragnor’s house, the back door closing with a bitter finality.

~*~

“Wow, I haven’t seen you this murderous since Valentine and Magnus swapped bodies,” Jace commented, very unnecessarily, causing Alec’s scowl to get more pronounced. “No, really. If you glare at the screen any harder, you’ll open a hole in it.”

“Jace, shut up!” Isabelle hissed, elbowing him hard.

As for Alec, he was trying really hard to keep his head cool, or else he would forgo every protocol he knew, laws be damned. Because his only wish currently was to make Camille Belcourt pay with blood, giving her a very slow death.

He wanted to kill her. He really wanted to kill her, deliberately and painfully.

“Alec.”

Alec blinked slowly, back to reality, then turned towards the voice that called him.

“Catarina.”

She wasn’t wearing scrubs like the usual. She wasn’t even with her glamor up. Her blue skin and bright white hair were exposed to all to see at the Ops Center, and for the first time it wasn’t a healer in front of them.

It was a warlock ready to confront the one who hurt her family beyond reality.

Jace gasped, perplexed.

“You called her? We can’t-” He cut himself, then shook his head. “Alec, since when do you put a civilian at risk during a mission? You know it’s against the rules!”

In any other situation, it would’ve been amusing having Jace mentioning laws and rules as if they were something he actually cared for.

But in that moment, Alec didn’t give a single shit.

“I really don’t care, Jace. Cat wanted to come with us, and I would never stop her.” He took his bow from the table and walked past them to give the final orders to all teams assembled and ready to go where Camille was hiding.

“Try to stop me, Shadowhunter.” Cat drawled, staring pointedly at Jace, and soon following Alec.

Jace and Izzy exchanged looks.

They were terrified for their brother.

Usually, Alec was the level-headed, always keeping an eye on them, but for the first time the opposite would be necessary.

They didn’t have at all a good feeling about that mission.

Camille was ready for them.

It was a trap full of demons.

A rift for a hell realm was open.

Alec fell on it.

#shmb2023 #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #my writing #colorfulwarlock

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mysticalrambling · 3 years

Note

Hi!!!!!!! I have a request for you😋

Its something to do with the recent Chris and Lizzo interaction(no hate to her). Can you write something about their recent interaction, like chris and lizzo talking about the baby joke and the internet goes nuts. But what chris doesn't know is that his girlfriend feels hurt, that he is disregarding her feelings, like its kind of humiliating to the reader, that chris her boyfriend is talking about baby with other person when he has his own girlfriend and she is hurt by him. She confronts Chris but he just gets mad and calls her jealous and insecure, which hurts her further and she just gets mad and leaves his house. Later when Chris mom sees the news she scolds him about joking of having a baby with someone else and hurting his partner then he understands how his girlfriend must have felt and they recincile. I hope you're getting what i m saying sorry if it sounds confusing, but can you write it? 🤗

Facing Realities (C.E)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.

Chris Evans Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: You feel unimportant when Chris can easily discuss about having a child with Lizzo in public but will always dismiss you when you bring up the topic. Getting in to a fight, you leave him and he eventually realises his mistake because of his mom.

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

._._._._.

“The fans want to know about the Instagram dms between the two of you.” The reported quizzed Lizzo and Chris as they both sat in front of him on the couch.

“Well, our baby is going to be the best.” Lizzo spoke with amusement clear in her eyes.

“The world is going to have a little Captain America at their hands soon, right Lizzo?” Chris chuckled.

“Right. And how is your new movie coming along?” The interviewer started asking different questions and soon it was all over.

“Will see you soon Cap. Say hi to (Y/N) for me.” With a quick hug, she left the studio with her usual power walk. Chris just shook his head slightly when he heard all the fans asking her about the baby. They were all truly something and Lizzo just went through them without giving a response.

You didn’t have anything against Lizzo because you knew that everything between her and Chris was platonic. The fact that Chris was so open to discuss about having a baby was what bothered you. He always dismiss you when you wanted to talk about your future and extending your family. It felt like you were the only one in this world that Chris did not want to talk to regarding this topic. This made you feel worthless and pathetic.

You knew that jealousy wasn’t the right word to describe your emotions right now but that’s what it felt like. Confronting people was never your thing and you always did what they asked instead of arguing. It was much easier but you knew that you couldn’t get away with this. This was in regards to your future and so when Chris was going to come home from his interview, you were going to talk to him about it.

“Honey, I am home.” Losing his jacket on the love seat, he made his way towards the kitchen because it was dinner time and he could smell the delicious food from the hallway.

“Hi babe. I am making your favorite. Just go and freshen up.” You stated not turning back because you knew you would break the instant your eyes landed on your boyfriend.

He came to the dining table in his sweats and dived into the food immediately because he was starving. “So…” You tried starting up a conversation but backed down when you saw his questioning gaze trained on you. “Um how was the interview?”

“It was nice. Lizzo and I talked about the baby. God, I just love that woman.” The self doubt in your mind was growing by the minute because he was casually talking about a baby with another woman. He didn’t realise that he was hurting your feelings and he just kept on talking about how amazing it would be to actually have a baby with Lizzo.

“So have you ever thought about extending our family?” You finally mustered up some courage to ask him the question.

“No, I haven’t. We can talk about it another time. So what did you today?” The dismissal in his tone was enough to break your heart into tiny pieces.

“But we have too, Chris. We have been in a relationship for the past three years.”

“I do not want to discuss it today so just drop it (Y/N).” The stern look would have made you back down in a normal situation but not today.

Dropping your fork on the plate, you spoke with irritation, “You never want to have this discussion with me but you would gladly do it with Lizzo.”

“I knew it had something to do with her. Why are you so jealous?”

“I am not jealous. It’s just that you are willing to discuss about your baby with everyone except me.”

“There is nothing going on between Lizzo and I, if that’s what you mean.”

“I know that. I just want to know if you have ever thought about having kids with me or am I just a fling to you?” You we’re absolutely done with him at this point and you dreaded his answer.

“(Y/N), I have told you a million times that you are not a fling. What are you on about?”

“It just seems that I am no longer the person that you want to discuss things with. It’s just not about the whole kid thing but you didn’t even tell me that you are starting in a new movie. I had to find it from the fucking paparazzi.”

“I was going to tell you and I am just not ready for a family yet.”

“Well instead of ignoring me every chance you got, you could have told me about it.” The frustration in your eyes was clear but Chris chose to ignore it. It was as if he was totally immune to all of your emotions.

Whenever the topic of children came up, Chris didn’t tinker why he acted like a jerk. He had always thought about expanding his family but when you came in to the picture, he was so terrified of losing you that he couldn’t even think what a baby would do to your relationship.

“I am not good with all this and you need to be patient with me.”

“All I have ever been is patient for you. Not anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Sudden realization dawned upon him and he was left speechless.

“I need a break from you. Call me when you figure everything out.”

“(Y/N), you are doing this because of Lizzo. Stop acting like an insecure and jealous bit-” Stopping mid sentence, he looked at you in horror.

Tears sprang in your already damp eyes, “Why are you stopping now? Finish the sentence, Chris.”

“(Y/N), I-”

“Good bye, Chris.” Walking out of your once shared home was the most difficult thing that you had to do in this life but there was no other choice. You both were at an impasse and you needed time to sort it all out. Hailing a taxi, you went to your friend, Scarlett’s house. She was a mutual frond of you both but she had become your best friend in the past three years.

Meanwhile, Chris downed a whole bottle of scotch and sat in your shared bedroom with your picture in his hand. He didn’t want to lose you to a stupid argument but he failed to see that he was at fault. Sleeping without you proved as a heinous task and he gave up after two hours. He just sat in the bed alone and hoped to God that you will come back to him. A life without you wasn’t a life at all. However, Chris would not be the one to apologise because in his opinion, he didn’t do anything wrong.

The passing few days, you absolutely refused to get out of the house and stayed holed up in Scarlett’s guest bedroom. “(Y/N), you need to eat something.” Your friend barged in with a tray full of food and you instantly felt nauseous.

“Not in the mood, Scar.” Your eyes had been red and puffy for the last week but you didn’t care. Chris was the only one that you cared about. However, you could not be in a relationship that had no future. You deserved better than that.

“You need to eat and get out of this mood. It’s making me depressed.”

“I don’t care. Leave me alone.” Snapping at her was never your intention and you instantly regretted it. “I am sorry. I am just not in the right frame of mind.”

“It’s okay. You want to watch something.”

“Yeah, F.R.I.E.N.D.S.”

Chris was no better than you or maybe even worse. He hadn’t changed out of his sweats for the past two days and had a slight scruff covering his face. Empty bottles of alcohol laid around the whole house and rotten food was placed on the kitchen counter. The whole house was a mess and he didn’t care about anything. Except you. Everything in this house reminded him of you and he hated it. From the bedroom walls to the well groomed garden.

The phone rang for the millionth time and he picked it up from the nightstand. It was his mom. Sighing, he finally picked it up. “Christopher Robert Evans, where the hell have you been?”

“I was at home, mom.” The loose thread on your pillowcase suddenly seemed more interesting than the phone conversation.

“With (Y/N)?”

“She left me, mom.” Chris didn’t want to talk about it but he figured that his mom wouldn’t leave him alone otherwise.

“Serves you right. You left her no other choice.”

“How can you say that? I haven’t done anything.”

“I saw the interview, Chris. Have you ever talked with (Y/N) about extending your family?”

“No but I was just joking with Lizzo.”

“It doesn’t matter. She would have felt unimportant because this is a very private matter and she was not a part of it.”

“But-”

“Imagine if the roles were reversed.” Realisation dawned upon him and he quickly said goodbye to his mother because he had a girlfriend to win back. Every second spent without you was agonizing and he never wants to experience it.

“(Y/N), Chris is here to see you.” Peeking her head through the door, Scarlett informed you about your boyfriend. You quickly untangled yourself from the sheets and ran to the washroom. You wanted to look presentable but Chris could see the dark circles under your eyes and your thin figure. There was a sudden pang in his heart because he knew this was all his doing.

“I am sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have said anything. I am a fool. Please forgive me.” He started ranting as soon as Scar left the room.

“Chris, have you thought about what I said?” Your calm aura was scaring his wits so he quickly answered with a yes. “Please elaborate.”

“I have realised that I was at fault and I am going to be more open about the future of our relationship from now on.” The sincere look in his eyes was hard to miss.

“Promise?” Gone was the calm and collected exterior, and stood before him was a vulnerable young woman.

“I promise, baby. Now, will you come back home? I have missed you.”

“Yes and I missed you too.” Kissing him on the lips, you sighed because this was your heaven and you wouldn’t want to leave it for the world.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I love Chris Evansand I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Taglist: @justile

Like, comment and reblog.

._._._._.

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bakubros-boo-thang · 3 years

Text

Disrespected Devil

Wordcount: -4K

Lucifer x F!Reader

Summary: When you disrespect the demon king, Lucifer is forced to say goodbye to you.

Genre: Angst, smutt, slight fluff, but tbh just angst

A/N: So another first. Not only my first time writing for the Obey me fandom (I have a major Obey me brain rot), but also my first time writing angst and I felt depressed after finishing this (which I did a second ago). I love Diavolo, but I needed a reason for the goodbye to happen so even if his dad is the villain, he is the one to execute it... Hope you enjoy this story.

Warning: NSFW, mentioning of being paralyzed I guess.

‘’What’s with Luci today?’’ ‘’He looks more pissed of than usual…’’ ‘’He probably listened to classical music too long and forgot his homework.’’ ‘’Lucifer forgetting his homework will never happen, but if it did he would look like this.’’ Hearing all those whispers during dinner time is nothing new for you. Tonight is different though. You know why he’s mad and you know who’s the blame. But it’s not as if you don’t have a reason to be just as upset. As dinner slowly ends you know there is only a small gap to avoid a situation. ‘’Beel, how about we go bake something for later this evening?’’ You say, as you cling onto the huge redhead. You know that food is a trigger and you know that this is the way to hide from HIM. ‘’Alright, sounds delicious!’’ He doesn’t seem to notice the way you hold onto him for dear life and the same goes for the others. Clearly, they’ve gotten so used to you that it’s not even necessary to be by your side 24/7. It’s not as if they know tonight will be the last time they see you. It’s a small moment of weakness and you feel your heart clench by the thought of leaving those boys. It’s enough to make you lose your grip on Beel's arm. Enough to bend over, because it physically hurts to leave them behind and enough for Lucifer to finally notice you and come to your aid. ‘’Beel, I think she ate something wrong. No cake tonight, I will see her to her room.’’

And with that, he scoops you up and takes you upstairs. Of course, your room is not an option. It’s way too close to the other rooms. No place to yell. No, Lucifer’s room is soundproof. Made for his nights spent with loud classical music and also made for the occasional screaming match with one of his brothers. As he enters the room, he carefully puts you down on his bed. ‘’Are you feeling alright, Y/n?’’ He says as he lays his palm against your forehead. The feeling of sadness is gone, already replaced by nerves. You know what’s coming. You know you won’t hold back. Will this be your last fight with Lucifer? The question never makes it to the surface, because the moment you nod your head in ensurement, Lucifer opens his mouth. ‘’Good, because you have no idea how foolish you acted today.’’ As mentioned before this room reminds you of the occasional screaming matches he must’ve had with his brothers, but never with you. Pissing Lucifer off is easy. You’ve done that plenty of times. Even made him show his true form, but making him scream, that is something you never achieved. Still, it is worth the try. Tonight is your last chance. As you get up you take a look at his face. What faces you is the cold expression he usually shows when he’s done with someone’s bullshit. The expression you have already mirrored back to him. ‘’So you are going to ignore me?’’ I’m not going to answer him. ‘’Are you serious?’’ I am not going to say a word. ‘’Should I spell out what you did?’’ Don’t say a thing. ‘’You just signed your death certificate.’’ His voice cracks and even though it’s far from the scream you aimed for. It’s still the first sign of emotion from the man you care about so much. ‘’Diavolo didn’t seem upset by what I said?!’’ You can’t help but talk louder. especially after being silent for the past few minutes. ‘’ As if he is going to kill me? ME?! And ruin the bonds that are being formed with the humans?’’

You can feel the tears in your eyes, this fight might’ve been about you being disrespectful in some way, but for you it was different. All this time getting closer with all the brothers. All this time loving them. All this time being there for them. It made you realize that the only one who made it difficult was him. With every step getting closer to each other; there were always a few steps back. An obsession with keeping up appearance, an obsession over a promise he would keep no matter what, an obsession with being a stuck-up asshole; That was Lucifer in a nutshell for you. And still, you couldn’t help being drawn to him. As a moth drawn to a flame. Even when the flame could easily kill the moth. Just as easily Lucifer could kill you. And it’s not as if he hadn’t tried that before. ‘’Y/n, You disrespected his father. I had to bargain for you to even leave the castle. The first time I trusted you enough to take you with me alone. And this is how you behave? You know what he wanted to do to Belphegor…’’ You know this story is his weakness. The reason he ended up becoming the lapdog of his so-called best friend. Still, it only makes you more upset to hear him say it. Even when you can hear the slightest hint of emotion in his voice; his eyes stay just as cold as usual. ‘’He is your best friend, isn’t he? He is my friend too, right? You always do this Lucifer! You always get mad over things and it never solves anything. You get mad at me for having fun. You get mad at me for trying to help. You get mad at me for trying to get closer to you. You don’t share things with me! Maybe Diavolo should’ve locked me up. Might as well get myself killed; it’s not as if you never tried to kill me…’’ Your voice is loud as you speak, but his silence is louder. He just stares at you and then it happens.

It’s not that you’re scared you’ve seen his true form before. It’s just as beautiful as him, but it’s also something that happens when he’s full of rage, just as that one time he tried to kill you. You can feel yourself freeze under his gaze. You can feel yourself moving away from him until you reach the headboard of his bed. Still, he moves closer. Until his lips are inches away from your ears. No screams, only whispers; what a way to say goodbye. ‘’DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!’’ You are so shocked by the volume of his voice, the bass it carries, that it takes some time to realize he has more to say. Your ear is beeping as he moves his lips away and locks his gaze onto you. ‘’DIAVOLO IS NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM, Y/N, HIS DAD IS. YOU INSULTED THE KING OF DEVILDOM IN FRONT OF HIS SON AND MULTIPLE WITNESSES. DIAVOLO CAN’T DO SHIT ABOUT THAT.’’ Only now do you notice the way his hands are gripping your arms; The way his expression has changed from cold to almost desperate. ‘’That guy has only been able to do what his dad wanted. Our friendship is real, but if his father told him to kill me, he would do it without hesitation. Do you really think he would think twice about killing you? IF HE WOULD KILL ME -HIS BEST FRIEND- IN AN INSTANT?” You notice the tears in his eyes. Lucifer is screaming and crying, but this isn’t a win. Before your heart breaks again, his arms are around you and his face is hidden in your neck, but that doesn’t stop the words. ‘’I had to send you away. I had to be cold. They know I care about you, but not to this extent. I had to pretend it was for the sake of the bonds. After you left I had to beg on my knees for your survival. I had to beg. The avatar of pride begged someone on his knees. It was all Lillith over again…’’

There is nothing you can say to fix this. It might’ve slipped your mind while you were there. But you were surrounded by royalty. What might’ve seemed innocent for you, was clearly a lot for them and now you had to leave everyone you loved behind. You can feel the tears fall from your eyes. “I’m sorry Luci, I truly am.” It won’t help, but it’s the least you can say as you look up into his eyes. He is still in his true form, but even with his wings all spread out, he has never looked more vulnerable. There is a sad smile on his lips as he caresses your cheek. “I know you are, you fool.” He says with no trace of the rage he had before. “ I don't want to leave you all…I don't want to leave you!” You know that you sound like a small child that already knows he lost and that’s exactly what you feel like. “It’s too late for that now, Y/n. Diavolo gave me tonight to say my goodbyes.” You try to distract yourself by focusing on his raven colored wings. “So that means I can’t say goodbye to the rest…” The pain is back. Never being a fool with Mammon, never dressing up with Levi, doing make-up with Asmo, reading books with Satan, eating with Beel or sleeping with Belphie. You can’t help but grab your chest again. “Are you okay?” Lucifer is supporting you within seconds as he asks the question. “No I’m not, but atleast I get to say goodbye to you.” And as you look up he leans in and gives you a tiny peck on the lips. “I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time.” He lets out. You can’t help but smile as you pull him back towards you. “Let's make it a proper goodbye then.” You whisper as you pull him back to your lips.

It’s not like it’s your first kiss with Lucifer, but it’s the last and that’s what makes it so much more special. It’s the combination of mutual sadness and desperation, the hint of rage still brewing somewhere deep inside the both of you. He knows your body, the way it will arch when he pushes you all the way down onto the bed. The tiny gasps when he starts kissing your neck. The way you look away when he starts kissing all the way down your body. ‘’Please keep looking at me, dear. I want you to see how much I am going to miss you.’’ It’s enough to make your heart flutter, the way he starts to attack your core with his tongue right away. It’s obvious he is in a hurry, but even with all the sadness, it’s the best way there is. You can’t help your moans; You’re lucky his room is soundproof. He’s fast, maybe too fast, but with everything that’s going on, it’s the best you can get. And that’s what it is. The best, because within a few minutes you can feel yourself starting to reach that point. The knot in your stomach tightens. your hands end up in his hair and with one loud moan, you erupt around him.

‘’I know that Mammon claims he was your first… in multiple ways… and not to discredit my brother, but I intend to be your last in all of them.’’ He says as he looks at you while he licks his lips. Him saying those words, the way he just made you lose your mind. It feels good, after all the fighting, teasing, kisses and losses , you’re with the man you love. You don’t want to ruin the mood. You’re really trying, but the moment you hear yourself thinking about loving him, about leaving him, about leaving his brothers, you just break. The tears start to form in your eyes and as you try to wipe them away you feel something on your arms. Lucifer. His eyes are cold again as he moves up to face you. ‘’Don’t hide your tears. I am just as sad.’’ He takes a long look at you, lets out a sign, and lays next to you as he caresses your back. ‘’I don’t want to play the ‘’Who has it worse’’ game, truly, I don’t want to, but in all the years I’ve been in heaven and hell, you’re the first human to have ever make my blood boil. Both from nerves and anger nonetheless, but losing you. Losing the one that made my family whole, the one that makes me feel all these emotions, the one that I love, hurts.’’ You can’t help but raise your brow. when he notices your expression he lets out a laugh.

You feel his hand grab your chin and suddenly your lips are only inches apart. ‘’I know you love me, Y/n. I’ve always known. Falling for you, was what surprised me.’’ You can’t help, but roll your eyes at him. Trying to ignore the way his hand feels on your back. The way it slowly moves it’s way to your hips. ‘’You know I do love all your brothers quite a lot too…’’ You say with all the confidence you have left. ‘’I know you do, but still I am the one that has you laying here. Practically begging for more.’’ He let’s out a chuckle as he pulls you closer. ‘’Let’s end this conversation, there’s not enough time.’’ And with that he’s on top of you. You know there isn’t much time, but when he starts to unbotton his shirt it’s as if time slows down. Of course he notices your looks and can’t help to give you a sly smirk. ‘’Don’t worry your next.’’ Is all he says as he takes his shirt off and starts tugging on yours. After your shirt is taken off he takes a look at your body and all you see is adoration on his face. ‘’I want to see all of you.’’ It makes your body flutter. ‘’You’re absolutely breathtaking.’’ He whispers. All this praise makes you feel weak. You try to grab his face, but as you put your arms up they fall down. You feel weak. Not because of his words, but something else. You see Lucifers expression change, the adorations is switched to concern, then back to concentration and before you know it he scoops you in his arms and makes you straddle him.

He’s looking at you, but not really. Obviously talking to himself. ‘’He wanted to be sure…’’ And as he says it he’s back. Back to giving you a sad smile. ‘’What’s going on?’’ Is all you let out. Is all you can let out, as you feel your body weighing more and more. He notices you getting weaker, making sure your settled between him and the headboard of the bed, before he speaks again. ‘’I think it’s time… Barbatos must’ve cast a spell… something that gave us a time limit. The probably knew it would be hard saying my goodbyes to you. Now I’m forced to make haste, just to make sure you’re safe.’’ You can’t even respond. You can move, but barely and all you can do is watch as Lucifer grabs his shirt. As he moves away from you, you’re sure of it. No this is not the way we’re going to say our goodbyes. It needs to be on our terms. Of course those words never leave your lips, but with all the power you have you reach out to him and as he looks back you let out a: ‘’No...not like this.’’ And maybe it’s the few words you’ve spoken, or the way your arm is trembling from all the power it takes to hold on to him, but he crawls back to you. His face is right above yours and if it’s not your eyes making it obvious what you want, you’re mouth will do. ‘’Take me…’’ It’s not a lot of words, but with the face you’re making and the fact that you guys were just in the middle of it, it doesn’t take much guessing. You can see that he’s thinking about it, obviously worried for you, but you can see his eyes change the moment it clicks.

His wings ar still there and you wished you could touch them, feel them one last time, but you should be lucky by what you can still get.’’I used to be a rebel, so why not know.’’ He laughs quietly before he lays you flat on your back. ‘’I’m going to take care of you my love, promise me to let me know when it’s too much or when you want to stop.’’ You nod your head and you know that your eyes tell him all he needs to know. How bad you want him, how even when you were able to just talk normally, you would want this goodbye to be said only in silence. His body is hovering over yours, his hand touching your neck, giving you goosebumps. ‘’Does this feel nice?’’ he whispers as his hands move towards your breasts. You can only let out a tiny gasp and that tells him enough. ‘’I wish we had more time…’’ Is all he says as his finger enters your core. The moan that escapes you is loader then the both of you would’ve expected. As he continues to stretch you out with one hand, his other starts to prep his cock. ‘’Wish I could… do that for you.’’ You manage to say. You can’t keep your eyes from him. The way he’s hovering over you. His finger inside of you and the way you can’t do anything except for your stares, moans and gasps. ‘’All I want is to feel you right now, my love.’’

And with that he places the tip right in front of your entrance. He makes sure your faces are only inches apart and as he slowly slides into you, his arms make there way to your sides. He’s holding you as he bottoms out in you and the only thing you can do is let out a long moan. He starts moving slowly, tender, putting all his love in every trust. He’s the only one speaking from time to time. ‘’I love you’s’’ and ‘’You feel so good’ s’’ are filling the room. All that praise, all the love in his eyes. The fact that he’s not only literally hitting all your spots, but also the spots in your mind, is what does it for you. You feel yourself unravel under him. You’re so close, that you start to tear up. Your eyes are filled with tears, mostly because of how good this feels, the fact that you’re making love on stolen time, but also because the time is probably running out soon. Lucifer never increases his speed. When he notices your tears he quickly wipes them away and as his hand caresses your swollen cheek he whispers: Don’t cry, my love, let us enjoy these last moments.’’ And just as he is about to give you a kiss on the lips you whisper a soft ‘’Love you Lucifer.’’ You notice his eyes being red as well and it’s devastating, but it feels so good. the way he keeps a steady pace has you reaching your peak and these final ‘’I love you’s’’, the final kisses is all you need to feel yourself tightening around him. He’s close too, because the moment he feels you tighten around his cock he gives you one firmer stroke and that’s all he needs to cum inside of you. He falls next to you and quickly takes you in his arms. ‘’I wish we could stay like this forever. I would sell my soul… but I guess in some way my soul has already been sold.’’ And all you can do is give him a sad smile before your eyes close.

Lucifer knew that it was time. You were starting to feel cold, too cold. After putting on some clothes and making sure you were fully clothed, he grabbed the coin Barbatos had given him. ‘’Use this before the time runs out.’’ So he had warned him for the curse. He knew he couldn’t be mad at his friends. He couldn’t be mad at you, he could only blame himself. He had shown his weakness by loving you. But you loved his brothers, loved him, despite all he stood for, without any shame. And even with the way it felt like he was going to lose you forever, it still meant the world he had the honor of getting to know you. The moment the coin was thrown a portal started to form and as he grabbed your cold body the darkness swallowed the two of you. As he opened his eyes he saw nothing, but darkness. It took a few minutes to notice that he was in a room. It must’ve been yours, because he noticed a picture of you next to a bed. He was going to take the picture, he was a rebel after all. As he tucked you in, he was at a loss for words. So all he could do was give you one last kiss on the forehead. Not being able to stop the tears falling from his eyes. ‘’Goodbye, my love…’’ and as the darkness was about to swallow him, he couldn’t help but leave one more thing behind. A raven feather, just for good measure. Returning to the Devildom was going to be almost as hard as leaving you here. He was once again going to be the villain in yet another story… the story of how he lost you.

You wake up to sunlight. Too much of it. Why aren’t your curtains closed? Wait, you have to get out of bed, it’s your turn to cook for everyone. Everyone? You live by yourself… right? It feels like you had a weird dream, but you can’t remember it. All you feel is sadness. As if you’ve lost something or someone important. The pain hits you so hard that the moment you try to stand your legs give out and you lay on the ground as tears fill your eyes. It hurts, but you don’t know why. As your hands try to find some grip to get up, you feel something soft. A feather. A raven black feather. It’s weird, but it feels comforting. Before you can help yourself, your lips are already on it and even when you should be grossed out by it, you plan to cherish the little trinket...

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