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hyunniesgirl · 23 hours
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Well, now I know how Victorian men felt when they saw ankles 🥵
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— I'm barking.
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hyunniesgirl · 4 days
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Hello my dears!! I would like to let everyone know that I'll be using @changbinlov3r for my writings from now on.
When I created this blog I didn't know a sideblog had so many restrictions when it comes to functionalities so before I get more followers here, I'm going to make my other blog the one I post my writings.
@hyunniesgirl will keep existing as an archive and for reblogs, I won't be reposting my stories on the other blog so I'll just let the already posted stories here and leave the link there so other people can read my "old" stuff.
Another love will be continued there and all the requests I have on queue are also going to be answered there(I'll answer the request here and put the link to the post so the anons know where to find their requests)
If you read it until here, please leave a like or interact in any way so I'll be able to know who has seen this message.
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hyunniesgirl · 4 days
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Honestly Han Jisung, fuck off
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© IVANOVSSA | do not edit and/or crop logo
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hyunniesgirl · 7 days
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just letting all stays know that charlie puth is a zionist and you should maybe reconsider your support for this new song with stray kids
cr.
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hyunniesgirl · 9 days
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If I ask nicely will people reblog this and tell me what their most common breakfast is? Not your favorite necessarily, just what you have for breakfast most frequently? 🙏🏽
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hyunniesgirl · 16 days
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Hello my dears!! I would like to let everyone know that I'll be using @changbinlov3r for my writings from now on.
When I created this blog I didn't know a sideblog had so many restrictions when it comes to functionalities so before I get more followers here, I'm going to make my other blog the one I post my writings.
@hyunniesgirl will keep existing as an archive and for reblogs, I won't be reposting my stories on the other blog so I'll just let the already posted stories here and leave the link there so other people can read my "old" stuff.
Another love will be continued there and all the requests I have on queue are also going to be answered there(I'll answer the request here and put the link to the post so the anons know where to find their requests)
If you read it until here, please leave a like or interact in any way so I'll be able to know who has seen this message.
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hyunniesgirl · 17 days
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THIS IS GOLD
you're my baby, say it to me
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MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY | ☕
warnings: mentions of menstruation, panty grinding, aftercare <33
a/n: I just needed a soft chan for when I am going through it during that time of the month. This is purely self indulgent :((
Soft Channie who sings your favorite songs while you rest. The strumming of the guitar like soft kisses. Soft Channie who makes your favorite drink, perfect amount of cream and sugar, to ease your cramps.
Soft Channie who massages your feet while you talk about your latest TV show, all the drama happening between your favorite characters. Soft Channie who listens intently, pressing his palms into the palm of your feet, telling you how cute you look when you talk about your interests.
Soft Channie who cautiously grinds on top of your panties, knowing even the slightest stimulation will help your menstrual pain. Holding his shirt between his teeth, he slowly thrusts his hips into your soft, clothes cunt.
Soft Channie who lets small, pathetic whimpers leave his lips, careful not to push you too far or thrust too quickly. Soft Channie who is desperate to cum, his tip swollen and red against your fabric. Your clit poking through ever so slightly, to brush against it.
Soft Channie with impatient beads of cum forming at the tip. The shaft of his cock pulsating faster. You grab his face and force him to make eye contact, knowing it will be the end of him
Soft Channie who pours himself on top of you. Covering and coating you entirely. Soft Channie who apologizes again and again for making such a mess, kissing and cleaning you profusely.
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hyunniesgirl · 18 days
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THE DAY HAN JISUNG CUTS HIS HAIR IS GONNA BE THE DAY THE WORLD ENDS TO ME!!!!!!!!
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DESTROY ALL THE SCISSORS IN THE WORLD!!!
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hyunniesgirl · 19 days
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Style | Y.J.
Pairing: Jeongin x afab!reader
Summary: you always wanted to do something crazy, something different from what your family expects you to. Who would have guessed that you'd meet Yang Jeongin, the guy who has the worst reputation around town and the one who's ready to deviate you from god's path.
Words count: 7,037
THIS ONE AND ALL MY CONTENTS ARE +18, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!
Warnings: badboy!Jeongin, churchgirl!reader, exaggerated description of conservative/religious families, dirty talk, protected piv, oral(f. receiving), degradation(very little), praise(even less), biting(I think that's all, let me know if I forgot something)
A/N: inspired by TS' song Style, one of my favs.
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You have been the pride and joy of your family since your birth, their perfect little daughter who is obedient and never goes against their word. You are a straight A’s student, the main singer of the church's choir, you’re never harsh and never vulgar, you're never free. That makes you mad, you have never enjoyed your life, like truly enjoyed it, you have been living for others this whole time and you’re tired of it.
“You know what?” Soyeon, your newest friend says, “we should go out”
“To go where?” You ask, confused. You two are seated together in your social studies class, she’s different from all your other friends and your parents would definitely kill you if they ever found out that you befriended someone like her. In your eyes, you know there’s nothing wrong with her but you know they would never agree with this friendship the moment they laid eyes on Soyeon.
She has tattoos all over her body and her hair is pink, she wears strong makeup and clothes that show too much skin, nothing like you. You had to beg your parents to let you wear jeans when you got into college, telling them the long dresses would make you stand out too much and at the same time that they gave you an earful because you were giving in to the sins of the world, they agreed that it wouldn’t be a good idea for their pristine daughter to get too much attention.
Your circle of friends in college is basically the same as the one you had in high school, mostly people from the church, people just like your parents, who judge others based on looks so it was shocking for you when Soyeon approached you first and it was even more shocking when you realized how much you both have in common. She also comes from a conservative family, but unlike you, she decided to rebel at a young age, she chose to be free.
“There’s a new club in the city, I think you’re going to like it”, she tells you, looking the place up on the internet to show it to you.
“I don’t think my parents would let me go”, you chuckle looking at the pictures and at the people in the pictures, you’d definitely stand out in there.
“And who's talking about asking for permission?” She giggles, watching your horrified face.
“I could never”, you shake your head frantically, anxiety growing in your chest just by thinking about it.
“Y/N, you’re always telling me how much you wanted to be brave and do something impulsive, this is your chance”, she pushes, seeing you bite on your bottom lip, wondering if it would be okay to do that just this once.
“But how am I going to explain to them the reason I’m going out at night?”
Soyeon chuckles, amused.
“Have you ever heard of lying?” She asks, sarcastically, making you blush.
“Stop”, you pout, making her laugh loudly.
“Just tell them you are going to have a sleepover with your righteous friends or whatever, I don’t think they are going to doubt you”, Soyeon suggests.
“Fine, yeah, I can do that”, you say, trying not to shiver at the simple thought of lying. You don’t think you have ever lied to your parents, too afraid of what would happen if you were caught, scared that you’d lose the little bit of freedom you have but maybe it’s worth it this time, maybe you’re going to find a whole new world.
You don’t know why Soyeon asked to meet so much earlier than the actual time of the party. Everything goes well with your parents, you never gave them reason to distrust you so they don’t even think too much of it, telling you to come back first thing in the morning for your prayers.
You go to Soyeon’s house, her parents love you, hoping that you’re going to bring their daughter back to the righteous path, little do they know that she’s the one who’s trying to deviate you from that very path.
Since she’s with you, they believe in everything she says about how you two are going to watch a movie in the theater and then she’s gonna sleep at your house. And you do go to the theater, or better, to the restroom there.
“What are we doing here?” You ask, confused, when she locks you both in the tiny space.
“What do you mean?” She seems as confused as you, looking for something in her bag and then she looks at you, realizing something and laughing. “Girl, bold of you to think I’d let you go dressed like that”, she says, staring at you up and down.
“What’s wrong with my clothes?” You ask, looking at yourself.
“Hm, there’s nothing wrong if you were really going to the theater”, she says, pulling out a few clothes out of her bag, “you’re going to a club, you need to look hot.
“Why?” You inquire again, tilting your head.
“Just because”, she loses her patience, handing you the clothes, “now put this on, I’ll do your makeup after you finish dressing.
“I don’t think this is right”, you tell her from inside the booth, opening the door to find Soyeon frowning.
“What is not right?” She asks, and you look down.
“Is this supposed to be a skirt?” You ask, pulling down the small piece of fabric that’s barely covering your ass.
“That’s how people dress, you’re the one who’s always covering yourself”, she explains, coming close to you. “Now, I’m gonna do your makeup, don’t worry, I’m going to take it easy this time”
“This time?” You murmur, making her chuckle, ignoring your question while she pulls her makeup accessories out of the bag.
You can barely recognize yourself when you look in the mirror, but strangely that doesn’t bother you. You are used to always feeling plain and boring but right in this moment, you feel interesting for the first time in your life. Soyeon really didn’t exaggerate on your makeup, she just put on some mascara on your eyes and a red lipstick on your lips. The silk tank top you’re wearing suits you best if you go braless and the skirt is still too short for your taste but anything over knee length is too short for you.
The club is crowded, you don’t think you ever went to a place so full of people and so full of life. People are laughing, kissing each other, dancing, enjoying themselves and that’s something so rare to see in your everyday life, it's delightful to you.
“Do you wanna drink something?” Soyeon asks, loud enough for you to hear.
“I think just water for now”, you tell her and she nods, your friend is not one to pressure you to do something you don’t want.
“I’m going to the bar, okay? I’ll be back in a minute”, she says, as soon as you both reach a booth.
You nod, watching as she struggles to squeeze herself in between the people dancing, you’re not sure if she’s going to be able to arrive safe and sound to the bar.
You look around, you think you know a few people from your school but you hope they don’t recognize you. However, there is a pair of eyes that catch your attention, making you stop to stare at him for a whole minute before he smirks, giving a step in your direction until you realize that he’s coming to you.
You know him, you know him so well. That’s the guy all your friends told you to stay away from, even your parents warned you about him. Yang Jeongin, the city heartthrob.
Jeongin is a known rake, he goes around causing trouble and breaking hearts and that’s something you don’t want anything to do with. Then, why can’t you move? Why does it feel like he’s pulling you like a magnet, like you can’t get up while he has his eyes on you.
You look around, trying to see if Soyeon is close by to save you from him but she’s nowhere to be seen and in an instant he arrives at your table, tilting his head and looking at you up and down. Jeongin raises a brow, watching as you fidget on your seat.
“I don’t think we have met”, he says, sitting down.
“We haven’t”, you say, drily.
“But I think you know me”, he smirks, “And I know you — I mean, the other version of you”
“Well, if you know me, you should also know that there’s nothing for you here”, you tell him, feeling nervous, a strange heat spreading around your lower belly.
He chuckles, sliding in the booth to sit right by your side, slipping his arm around your shoulder.
“Any knowledge I had about you went down the drain the moment you stepped in this party wearing this tiny piece of fabric you call a skirt”, he murmurs too closely, eyes fixed on yours, making your heart beat faster. You should definitely tell him to leave since you have the slight idea about where this is going but at the same time you don't want him to leave. God forbid anyone knows that you ever let this man touch you but you sure want him to. You can't even blame the alcohol since you didn't drink any but you can blame Soyeon for leaving you alone in a place where Jeongin is. Having him so close to you is making your head hurt, you feel your whole body turning hot, the throbbing on your upper body making you dizzy.
Something takes control over you, making you turn your upper body over to him, clicking your tongue next and smirking.
“Shall we get to know each other, then?” You hear your voice but don't know where that courage came from.
“I'd like that”, he squeezes his body even closer to you. Jeongin leans over the table, resting his chin on his hand while he rests his elbow on the metal surface. “You look stunning tonight by the way, very different from the way you look on the daily basis”
“So you really know who I am”, you ask, surprised.
“Of course, you're the college's model for good behavior”, he chuckles, “the amount of times I heard professors bringing you up as an example is crazy”
“Well, it's the opposite with you”, you shrug.
“Ouch”, he pouts, “why does it sounds like you don't like me”
“It's ‘cause I don't”
“I'm sure I can change your mind”, he leans in closer once more.
“Oh, pray tell, how are you going to do that?” You scoff, amused. There's no way this guy has gam-
“Have you ever had your pussy eaten?”
You almost choke on the air you just breathed.
“Wh-what?” You gulp, trying to recompose yourself.
“I'm sure you're gonna like me after I eat you out”, he smirks.
You roll your eyes, scoffing at him, trying to hide your embarrassment and how hot you're feeling.
“Do you say that to all the girls you try to sleep with?” You ask, crossing your arms in front of your chest, making your boobs go up, something that makes Jeongin's eyes go down to stare at your breasts, the smirk growing bigger in his lips.
“Only to the special one's”, he tells you, nonchalantly, raising a brow. Before you can retort, you see Soyeon coming in your direction with drinks in both hands.
“Sorry, it took ages for someone to get my order”, she says, tilting her head in confusion when she looks at Jeongin. “Am I interrupting something?”
“Not at all”, Jeongin is the one to say, “I was just about to leave, it's nice to see you by the way”, he smiles at Soyeon while getting up. “If you change your mind, feel free to come find me”, he says, winking at you before turning around and disappearing into the crowd.
Soyeon sets the drinks on the table, sitting by your side with a puzzled face.
“What was that about?” She asks.
“Nothing”, you sigh, fanning yourself to try and calm down and ease your hot face.
“Well, by the way you are reacting it doesn't look like nothing”
“He was hitting on me”, you say, feeling embarrassed again. “I told him I'm not interested”
“Why?” Soyeon asks, more confused than before.
“What do you mean ‘why’? He's Yang Jeongin, the guy who everyone warns us about”, you answer like it's obvious.
“Nope, he's the guy the people from your church warned you about”, she chuckles, “I know him and he's not that bad, but it's true that he can't keep it in his pants”
“Even if it's not as bad as people painted him to be…”, you lean closer to her so you can talk lower, “... I never did anything, I don't know if it's okay for me to do it here”
“And who's the person who's going to tell you if it's okay or not?” Soyeon asks, “you should do what you feel like doing, don't think about your parents or your church, just think about what you wanna do”
You stare at Soyeon for a moment, biting on your bottom lip. You know she's right, you do, but are you brave enough to take the risk?
“Do you have a con…dom?” You ask, feeling your cheeks hot and a big smile grows on your friend's face.
“I sure do”, she answers, opening her bag and looking for it inside, grabbing two packages and giving it to you. “Don't feel like you have to do this, you can just try and see what happens. I have known Jeongin for quite a while and I know he wouldn't do anything you're not up to”, Soyeon assures you.
You nod, getting up. There's nothing wrong with trying, right? Your parents will never know and it's not like he's going to tell anyone too.
You walk in the direction Jeongin went, squeezing yourself in the middle of the crowd, looking around to find the man. There are so many different people, but you're sure you can spot him without issue if he's nearby.
You do come across him, eyes meeting his back while you watch as he whispers something in another girl's ear. There's an ache in your chest as you watch how she laughs about what he's saying like he's so funny. Well, stupid of you to think he would be waiting for you. You sigh, maybe this is a sign that you should just call it a night and go home.
As if the universe hears what's going through your mind, Jeongin turns around like he could feel your gaze and your eyes meet for a split of a second before you turn to look anywhere else, just to find someone you know. Fuck, it's a girl from your church, her family is really close to yours, what's she doing here?
You spin on your heels, deciding to run to the restroom for now, it's your best option. She's known to be a snitch, if she sees you there's no way she's gonna keep quiet about it to your parents and after that your life is over.
Miraculously, you manage to find an empty bathroom, going in and locking the door. You watch yourself in the mirror, your red lipstick is still intact. You wet your hands, throwing drops of water at your face but not enough to mess your makeup.
You're fine, you're alright, you can just sneak out of this club and get home safely without anyone knowing. You nod, turning around to open the door. And when you get out, you're going to forget any strange ideas you had about-
“Jeongin?” You ask, seeing the man standing in front of the bathroom door. “What are you doing here?”
“This is a public restroom”, he jokes.
“Ah, yeah”, you nod, stepping aside so he can go in and you can walk away.
“I was kidding”, he explains, “I thought I saw you looking for me”, he smiles, crossing his arms in front of his chest while he leans on the door frame
“Was I?” You pretend. You had just decided that you wouldn't let these impulsive feelings control you so why is every fiber of your body telling you to just grab this man by the collar and kiss him.
“Should I come in?” He asks, ignoring your cynical retort. “If you tell me to go in, I'll understand that you're interested in going further in this little game but if you're still not interested, you can just tell me to leave”
You take a few deep breaths, thinking about what you really wanna do, just like Soyeon said.
“Fuck it”, you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside, locking the door after.
Jeongin watches you with that damn smirk on his face.
“I won't do anything I'm not comfortable with”, you inform him, making him chuckle as he takes a step closer to you.
“Wouldn't want it any other way”, he says, wrapping his arm around your waist and pressing your body against his. Jeongin leans closer slowly, taking his time enjoying how you lick on your lips anxiously and watch him with big eyes. Then he kisses you, his lips gently press against yours, so much more delicate than you thought he could be. His tongue brushes past your lips, going into your mouth and exploring every corner, dancing with yours as he shows you what to do. You kissed someone before but it was nothing like this, you never knew you could feel this hot with a kiss. Your belly feels like it's on fire, warmth spreading everywhere.
Jeongin's hands slide down to your thighs, brushing your skin slightly and making you shiver as his hands goes up, beneath your skirt.
“Is this okay?” He asks, squeezing your ass only covered by your panties and you feel dizzy, nodding frantically. Jeongin smiles, he's not usually so careful but he can guess that you're not very experienced, and the last thing he wants is for any partner to have a bad experience with him.
Jeongin lifts you up, carrying you to the sink and making you sit there, sliding his hands down to your legs to spread them open for him. Your skirt rides up and he can see your baby blue panties and the wet spot between your folds.
“Are you already this wet, baby?” He asks, sliding your underwear to the side as he brushes his fingers slightly in your entrance. Jeongin looks at you, looking for any hesitancy but you're looking at him with expectant eyes, waiting patiently for him to fingerfuck you. He inserts one finger inside you, “Who knew a good girl like you would let someone like me fuck her in the restroom of a club?” He teases, watching as you squirm in embarrassment but also how your walls flutter around his finger. “Hmm, do you enjoy hearing how much of a whore you are?” He thrusts in and out, feeling your pussy sucking his finger more and more as he degrades you, making him add one more.
“Don't say that”, you whine, grabbing him by the shoulders and digging your nails on his jacket, trying to contain the moans that try to escape your lips.
“Oh, but I think you like it”, Jeongin smirks, using his thumb to tease your clit while his other hand wanders beneath your crop top, grabbing one of your breasts, kneading and squeezing the flesh.
“Ah!” You whine, closing your eyes to the feeling. You never thought it would be so good to feel someone else's hands touching you like that, it makes you wonder why it took you so long to try.
As if Jeongin can hear your thoughts and want to torture you, he takes his fingers out of you, make you whimper to the loss of his touch.
“Shh, pretty girl. I'm going to make you feel good real soon”, he kisses you one more time before sliding his jacket down his arms, dropping it on the floor. He's wearing a tank top that looks painfully tight on his body, hugging every bit of his muscles and showing his toned arms.
You gasp when he takes the piece off, showing you his muscular chest, making you gulp and try to close your legs to rub them together to ease the tight knot growing on your lower stomach but being prevented by Jeongin's hips.
“Do you like what you see?” He asks, condescendingly. But contrary to his expectations, you nod frantically, probably not thinking straight anymore. Jeongin chuckles, leaning closer, biting on your earlobe. “After you come in my mouth I'm gonna show you something you're going to like even more”
Before you can ask questions, the man is getting on his knees in between your legs. He pulls your panties, sliding it down your legs, licking his lips to the sight of your glistening cunt. You can feel his hot breath reaching your sensitive spot, Jeongin kisses your inner thighs slowly, making you whine for him to do something, anything to help you feel any sort of relief.
Finally he dives in on your pussy, sticking his tongue between your wet folds and licking a huge strand until he reaches your clit. Jeongin sucks on the hardened bud, circling it with his tongue, digging his fingers on your hips as he pulls your pussy closer to his face, leading your legs over his shoulders. You taste delicious, sweet and wet, he feels like he could stay with his face between your legs forever. When he feels your hips bucking in against his mouth, he groans, eyes fixed on your pleasured drunk face.
Your hands fly to his head, pressing him against your cunt without even realizing, his nose poking on your clit just makes it worse and when he inserts two fingers in your hole at once, you feel your whole body shaking. Your toes curl and a loud moan escapes your lips as Jeongin slows down the movements on your sensitive spot, enjoying seeing you coming down from your high.
“How are you feeling?” He asks, standing up. You open your eyes to stare at him, his face glistening with your juices and you have the inexplicable urge to kiss him, so you grab Jeongin by the neck and crash your lips on his.
He groans in between your sloppy kiss, feeling his painfully hard cock throb even more while listening to your sweet sighs. He feels like he's about to explode when he feels your hand touching the buttons of his jeans, pulling away to look at what you're doing.
“I wanna touch you”, you explain, feeling your cheeks hot but too drunk in pleasure to even feel embarrassed.
“Oh, pretty”, he smirks, your hands freeing his cock in a simple move, making Jeongin bite on his bottom lip to hold on the moan about to come out when he feels your fingers grabbing on his cock.
“I don't know what to do”, you whine, looking at him with expectant eyes, he really wanna curse right now but he doesn't want you to think he's angry.
“Here”, he covers your hand with his, leading yours up and down his shaft. “Like this”, he closes his eyes, leaning on your shoulder and letting you work alone.
“Do you like it, Innie?” You ask, softly. Your movements on his cock makes him whimper, he hates being called that but why does it sound so sweet coming out of your mouth?
Jeongin lifts his head, looking at you. You have your bottom lip stuck between your lips, your eyes are glossy, your red lipstick is all smeared and your breathing is erratic.
“Fuck, you're hot”, he answers, making you giggle, putting more pressure on the caresses you're giving his length. “Can I fuck you, pretty girl?” He asks, making you halt your movements. His hands cup your face and he kisses you, smiling once he pulls away. “We don't have to”, he assures you, “you said you won't do anything you're not comfortable with and I agreed”
“I want to”, you say, feeling your face hot. “It's just that- I never did this before, so I don't know what to do”, you tell the truth. You're having mixed feelings about this whole thing, you really want to do this but you can't shake the thought that something bad is going to happen if you do something to displease your parents.
“We can go slowly, okay?” He asks, pulling you out of your deep overthinking. You nod, giving him the condom that you had stored in the pocket of your skirt. “Oh my, you're dirtier than I thought”, he chuckles, opening the packaging and putting on the protection.
He positions his cock in your entrance, checking once more with you if everything is okay.
“If it hurts too much, I'm going to stop”, he tells you and you nod, feeling him sliding inside you slowly. You gasp, the stretch is rougher than you thought and when he reaches a certain point it starts hurting too much. He stops when he sees the tears running down your face, making him frown in worry. “Are you okay?” He asks, you look at him and nod.
“It just hurts a bit but I can take it”, you assure him, seeing him smile. Jeongin leans closer to you, trying not to move his hips for the time being.
“You're so good, baby”, he praises you, kissing below your eyes, on your tears stained cheeks.
He kisses your lips, feeling you relaxing on his hold and that's when he moves, his cock going all the way in as you whimper in his mouth. “Does it hurt a lot?” He asks, but you shake your head.
“It's good now, I think I'm good”, you whisper, “can you move?” Jeongin nods, thrusting in and out slowly, letting you get used to his cock. Your moans make him believe that you're enjoying yourself. “Oh Innie, Innie, that's so good”, you mumble, feeling like you can see stars.
“Shit, y/n, fuck”, Jeongin groans, feeling his orgasm approaching. “I'm not going to last, baby, I'm gonna come”, he groans, leaning on your shoulder once more and biting on the soft skin, making you cry out.
“Me too, oh- oh”, you moan loudly feeling your release, the faltering thrusts of the man inside you and his low moans tell you he just came too.
You two stay silent for a whole minute, trying to process what just happened. You can't believe you just had sex in the restroom of a club and with Jeongin of all people, but even though you know no one other than Soyeon is going to be excited about that, you can't stop the big smile that grows in your lips.
Three knocks on the door make the both of you come back to reality, you jump from the sink, trying to fix yourself to look presentable outside and before you two can talk about what just happened Soyeon’s voice comes out.
“Y/N? Are you in there?” She sighs.
“Yeah”, you answer while you try to fix your lipstick that's all over your face.
“We have to hurry, a girl from your church saw me and it's just a question of time before she finds you too”, she tells you, making you look at Jeongin.
“I gotta go”, you inform, even though he hears what Soyeon just said.
“Yeah”, it's the only thing he says and that makes you disappointed. You shouldn't have expected much of someone who just fucked you in the restroom of a club but you thought you felt something different, guess you were wrong.
When you walk out of the restroom, Jeongin comes down from his gaze. Fuck, he can't believe he let you go just like that but he was too shocked about the things he felt a few minutes ago. Why did it feel so different this time?
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You can't stop thinking about Jeongin, the way he held you that night is stuck into your mind and the way he kissed you made you want more but you can't have him not now and not ever. While you have been torturing yourself and overthinking, Jeongin kept living his life to the fullest like that night never happened, like you never happened.
“That Jeongin guy is so vulgar, I heard he’s got girls left and right, doing God knows what with him”, one of the girls of your church says. You feel your cheeks hot, you know exactly what they are doing with him because you were one of those girls.
“I don’t think we should be talking about that”, you murmur, biting on the insides of your cheek.
“Ah, you’re right”, she nods, smiling empathetically to you, “we shouldn’t talk about such worldly things”, the girl grabs your hand, looking around to the other people and smiling gently. “Shall we talk about the song we will be presenting on Sunday?”
You nod with the others, but you pay no attention to whatever she’s saying or anyone for that matter. Your thoughts traveling far to those ungodly sensations Jeongin caused you.
In your lunch break you don’t really want to be with your church friends, you know that at some point, something about sins is going to come up in the conversation and you’ll have to hear how you were a slut, even though they don’t know that they’re talking about you. So you go to the opposite side of heading to the bathroom, it’s not the most hygienic place to eat but at least you’ll be left alone.
That was your idea, until you feel someone grab you by the wrist and drag you to an empty room. You were ready to curse at the person when your back is pressed against the wall and you have the chance to look at the culprit’s face.
“Jeongin?” You ask confusedly, looking at his sharp eyes.
“The one and only”, he smirks, making you roll your eyes.
“What do you want?”
“Aw, baby”, he pouts, “why does it sound like you didn’t miss me?” He asks, taking a step closer to you — if that’s even possible, since you two are already glued.
“Because I didn’t”, you lie, avoiding his gaze, trying to push him away from you but getting your wrists held by his hands the moment they land on his chest. “And by the way, are you crazy? How can you just drag a girl to an empty place like this?”
“I’m sorry, are we still at that time where men and women can’t even be left alone to talk without being forced to marry?” He asks sarcastically, “we already did so much worse than just talk though”
“Just tell me what you want and leave me alone”, you huff, trying to control yourself. His body so close to yours does things to you, thoughts you don’t know if you’ll be able to control.
“Well, even if you didn’t miss me, I missed you”, he suddenly looks too serious, not a bit of sarcasm in his voice.
“Well, I heard that you’ve been out and about with some other girl”, you scoff, trying to hide your bitterness about the subject.
He sighs, biting on his bottom lip.
“What you heard is true, but I can’t stop thinking about that night, about you”, he confesses, making your heart melt for a moment. So he wasn’t as alright as you thought he would be and that gives you some peace of mind, to know that you weren’t just another notch in his belt. However, reality comes crashing in soon after, as you remember that you two could never be together.
“And what do you want me to do about it?” You ask, even though your sentence sounds hostile, you really want an answer.
“We can try and be a thing, I don’t know anything about couple’s shit but I can try if it’s with you”, he scratches the back of his neck, awkwardly and that confession would sound a bit cute if you didn’t know better.
“Jeongin, we can’t be together”, you clear things out, feeling a sudden pain in your chest.
“Why not?” He looks at you like you’re saying something unbelievable and that makes you chuckle.
“Because, we come from two different worlds. You wouldn’t have ever looked at me if it wasn’t for that party”, you bite on your bottom lip. “It’s that girl you’re interested in, the bold and pretty girl who takes risky decisions”, you manage to push him away this time, he’s too shocked by what you’re saying to even try to prevent you. “You’re probably just enchanted with the idea of me and in a few days you’re going to get tired and even though for you I’ll be just another ex-girlfriend, for me… Unfortunately, I can’t recover after you”
You grab your bag that had fallen on the ground, continuing to speak.
“Until I get out of my parents' home, I have to follow their rules and they would never agree with me dating someone like you. My whole life will be a mess after you leave, but yours is going to be as normal as it was before you met me”, you smile sadly to him, waiting for a moment while he stares at you with a scowl in his face before you nod, turning around and leaving him behind.
You feel like throwing up. If he never came after you at least you could pretend that night never happened, that it was just as insignificant to you as it was to him. Why did he have to come after you and make things so complicated? That makes everything so much worse, it’s so much more painful to think about what you two could have been.
You try distracting yourself with your classes and the church choir, trying to get more tasks so you won’t be able to think about Jeongin. You need to stop thinking about him. There’s a point where you even think you might be going crazy, when you see someone just like him at your church on Sunday but there’s no way he’s there, Jeongin would never step foot in a place like that and you’re sure the other people that attend wouldn’t like him there either.
You help get the lunch ready at home, your parents are acting strange and treating you so nicely that you think one of them might be dying and they are trying to sooth you before telling the truth. That’s when you hear the sound of the doorbell, frowning, you didn’t know you were expecting visits.
“Can you get the door, honey?” Your mother asks and you nod, walking to the entrance and opening the door just to find someone who looks exactly like Jeongin, but there’s no way that’s him.
“Good afternoon, y/n”, he greets you, what happened to him? He’s wearing khaki pants and a light blue sweater over a white dress shirt. His hair is styled slipped to the side, not a strand out of place. You close the door fast, in panic.
“What are you doing here?” You ask, holding the knob of the door so your parents won’t open it before he goes away.
“I was invited”, he says nonchalantly, like it’s something he’s used to doing.
“Aren’t you going to invite our guest to come in?” You hear your father’s voice, looking at Jeongin like he’s an alien. He smiles at you, tilting his head while you open the door, suspiciously.
Your parents greet him with a big smile, something you never thought you’d see them doing towards Jeongin.
“Did you have trouble finding the house?” Your mother asks, as she puts some rice on a plate for him.
“Not at all”, he answers politely, “you have a beautiful home”, he smiles charmingly, making the older woman giggle.
“I’m sorry, but can you explain how you know each other?” You ask, confused with their interaction.
“Honey, Jeongin found us at the church earlier and we have never been more proud of you”, she smiles as your father nods.
“Proud of what?” You feel your head spinning, the only thing Jeongin could have told them was about the night you spent together and you’d probably be homeless right now if your parents ever found out about that.
“Now now, don’t be so modest my dear”, your mother smiles. “Jeongin told us how you have been unstoppable about your mission on bringing his soul back to our lord”
You blink once, twice…
“I did what?” You ask, frowning, Jeongin’s hand sneaks right to your thigh, squeezing the flesh, almost making you squeal.
“He told us everything”, you father stops eating, “how you searched for him while he was lost and guided his soul back to our God’s path”
“I told your parents how I became a new man because of you, y/n”, Jeongin says, smiling kindly to your family, “and I asked them if it would be okay if we got to know each other with the intention of marriage in the future”, he says like its nothing, making you choke on the air you just breath.
“Marriage?” You almost yell.
“Only after I’m done with all my studies and when your parents consider me a man worthy of you, of course”, he looks so genuine, you would surely believe him if you didn’t see the corner of his lips slightly upturned.
“And of course we agreed”, your mother says, “someone who got lost once has more chances to get lost again, so who better than you to be by his side, helping him get through the worldly desires without deviating from the right path?”
You nod, not really understanding what's happening but going with the flow.
“May I take y/n for a walk after we eat?” He asks your parents, they look at each other and nod, telling him to go ahead.
The rest of the lunch is unbelievable, Jeongin even quotes the bible, making your family impressed. After everyone eats, he helps your mom collect the dishes and after a few minutes he comes back from the kitchen, smiling kindly at you and offering his hand to you so you can hold and get up. You walk together for a couple of minutes, you’re still too into your own head to ask him anything, everything about this whole situation doesn’t seem real.
“You are insane”, is the only thing you say when you see his car at the end of the road, you look at him just to find his piercing eyes watching you.
“I’m just someone very determined”, he shrugs.
“So what now, you’re going to pretend to be a good boy forever?” You walk straight to his car without even realizing it.
“Not forever, just until you get out of your parents house”, you spin on your heels, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
“Why are you doing this?” You ask, confused. “You could have anyone you wanted”
“Not you”, he tells you, simply. “And I want you”, he takes a step closer and when you step back, you feel your back press on the door of his car, making him grin, walking even closer to you and pressing his body against yours.
You don’t want to reject him, you never wanted to in the first place and to think that he managed to find a way so you two can be together, it makes you flustered.
“I want you too”, you murmur, feeling your cheeks grow hot.
Jeongin smiles, leaning in to kiss you but stopping before his lips could touch yours, sliding his hand behind your back to pull the handle of the door.
“That’s good, ‘cause you have no idea about how much I’ve been wanting to taste you since I saw you this morning at the mass”, he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you close enough to be able to swing the door open, pushing you inside of the back seat of his car.
You’re wearing the long dress you always use to go to the church and it makes Jeongin even crazier to see you dressed like this than it did when you wore those tiny little pieces at the club. This way no one else can see you the way he does, everything about you is for him to see, you're all his.
“Innie, we shouldn't do this here”, you whimper when he rides your skirt up, revealing the wet spot in your panties.
“That's not what your pussy is telling me”, he chuckles, pulling the piece of fabric aside and brushing his fingers between your folds. “Fuck, you're soaked”, he groans, leaning down to lick your clit, making your hips thrust involuntarily to feel his mouth in your needy hole.
Jeongin digs his fingers on your hips, preventing you from moving while he licks and sucks on your core. The wetness of your cunt is too much for him, it's overwhelming and your smell makes him go crazy.
“Can't we go to your house?” You whimper, looking around, trying hard to keep your eyes open even though your body is forcing you to close them to enjoy the pleasure.
“Nope, I promised your parents I would have you back home in thirty minutes, we are running out of time”, he raises his brow to you, daring you to protest more but you just give in, enjoying his hot tongue on your cunt and letting yourself come on his mouth.
On the way back to your home, Jeongin promises to keep appearances for your parents but he tells you that what he wants more than anything is to take you out of the righteous path. He says that with that damn smirk on his lips and you're sure he's gonna succeed.
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A/N: if you enjoy my work, don't forget to give me some feedback. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated and are the things that keep me motivated to write. You can also buy me a coffee ☕
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hyunniesgirl · 22 days
Text
Another Love | Part 6
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Genre: angst, smut, fluff
Words count: 8,416
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Warnings: angst, hickeys, unprotected piv(don't do this at home), dirty talk(I think that's it)
A/N: I'm finally here with the last part of Another Love. This fic means the whole world to me, it's the story that made me grow a lot as a writer and was the first story that I thought "woah this is really good" when I finished the first part. I hope you all like this last part, I poured my whole heart in this and I really want you all to feel what I tried to convey with my words. Thank you for all the comments, reblogs and feedback, that's what made me motivated to finish this fic.
Also, I wanna thank my best friend @baby-yongbok for bearing my whines and rumbles about this story. Thank you baby for helping me through the difficult times 🫶🏻
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You may have regretted telling Han that you would give him a chance. How soon? As soon as the sentence left your mouth. Why? Because now, you are going to have to face all the demons you kept inside of you for all these years.
While having an unrequited love, you had a motto: if you don’t get too delusional, it's going to hurt less. So every single time, when your mind started wandering through those dirty thoughts, you made sure to stop yourself. However, now it’s not a one sided love anymore and you’re honestly afraid of what that means. The furthest thing you thought about doing with Jisung, was a kiss and even that left you hot and bothered. Now, you are thinking about other things, like having sex and that’s something you never did before for the sake of your sanity.
It doesn’t help that Jisung is a menace and surprisingly you didn't know about it. 15 years of friendship and just about now did you find out that this man has no shame.
Things were going pretty normal, he had been treating you like always so things didn't seem to have changed much and that gave you some peace of mind, afterall, he was always affectionate to you.
However, little by little, you started noticing some things. Like, walking around the house shirtless like he wants you to look and unsurprisingly that’s exactly what you do. Every fucking time, you feel like you'll explode and in your defense, it's really, really hard not to look. He shows up wearing nothing but sweatpants and you try with all your willpower to look anywhere but him but in the end you can't help but look. Honestly, it's impossible and you know he's doing it on purpose because you get glimpses of his condescending smile whenever he catches you watching. You wish you could punch him in the face but then he’ll know he has won and you can’t let that happen.
Jisung is trying to prove a point, is it risky? Yes, but he's not entirely confident about winning you over. Even though you said you would give him a chance, every time he tries to get close to you it seems like you push him away and that scares him, he’s afraid you will change your mind and he can’t have that. So he’s trying to show you that he’s the full package.
He's good to you and funny but that you already knew, you have been friends for a long time. So he wants to show you a new side of him, something you only get to see from a boyfriend.
After days of hesitation, one night he finally makes his move. You’re in the kitchen, trying to get something on the top shelf but you can't seem to reach it. Jisung sees that and a brilliant idea pops on his head, you can only hear his footsteps coming behind you and in the split of a second, you feel the warmth of his body almost touching yours when he leans over you to get the bowls you wanted.
That’s the moment you lose your mind, years of restraint ending in a simple touch of his. Actually, the fact that he’s not even touching you makes everything worse.
“What do you think you’re doing?” You ask, not turning around to look at him.
“Helping you, what else?” He answers, voice shaking a bit with the proximity. You can feel his breathing on the top of your head.
“I didn’t ask for help”, you clarify, not to sound rude but just trying to control yourself.
Unexpectedly, you feel his hands lightly holding your hips and in a quick move he turns you around, caging you against the kitchen cabinet and you release a shaky breath, heart beating like a hammer on your chest.
“You’re pushing me away”, he points out, “I won’t be able to win you over if you don’t let me”
You stare at him for a minute, he’s looking at you with puppy eyes, making you sigh.
“I’m sorry, I just have to get used to it”, you say, “I thought you would never like me so this change is kinda overwhelming”, you clarify.
“Shall we go on a date, then?” He proposes, taking a step back, looking at you hopefully. You nod, earning a big smile from him. “Okay, be ready tomorrow at 8 am”, he tells you, making you frown.
“What are we gonna do so early in the morning?” You ask, confused, making him shrug.
“It's a surprise”, he says, “but I can tell you that you should dress comfortably”
That's all he says, turning around and leaving you alone in the kitchen. Why does it seem like you just fell right into his trap? Like he already had everything planned and you acted exactly how he wanted you to?
There's nothing much you can do now since you already accepted the date, so you forget about what you wanted to do in the kitchen and go to your room, preparing a handbag with anything you'll possibly need.
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He's up before you, waiting with breakfast and a warm cup of coffee. While you two eat you just know he's dying to tell you where you're going but he also doesn't want to ruin the surprise.
You realize it's going to be a trip when he drives out of the city, giving you the task of taking care of the playlist. You scroll through his songs, some from the boys, some from the artists he likes, you add some that you like, until you see the seaside.
“Are we going to the beach?” You ask, eyes sparkling. You missed this place so much.
“We are”, he smiles, stretching his hand to grab yours, interlacing your fingers. You feel your face hot, sure that you're blushing but you glance at him, seeing Jisung stare at the road with that shit eating grin on his lips.
“Don’t you think you're being too much?” You ask, trying to hide the smile that's trying to escape your lips.
“Not really”, he shrugs.
You and Jisung would always come to the beach when you were younger, it would be usually on your vacation but when you two were feeling down or something upsetting happened, you'd catch a bus and come here. You'd just sit in the sand, watching as the waves came and went, as the ocean reflected the color of the sky. It didn’t matter if it was winter or summer, that was always the place to make you feel better.
Jisung parks in front of a restaurant, inviting you to come out to eat and you look around, seeing how much it has changed since the last time you went there. When you moved to Seoul for school, you stopped traveling farther than your parents house. Even though you didn’t really need to save money because your family always supported you, you like to have savings for an emergency, so you had to give up on luxuries like traveling too far. Also, as you got older it became more difficult to stay close to your best friend in a place that was meant for just the two of you, every time you would go to the beach with him, you’d feel the urge to confess and that couldn’t happen, you were not ready yet. So you spent the last few years avoiding coming to your favorite place.
You were planning to come alone one day, when you had gotten over Jisung but life seems to be playing with you and now you’re there with the man you love and he’s the one holding himself not to confess to you right then and there. Not because it’s a secret, but because he doesn’t want to pressure you more than he already feels like he’s doing.
“I can’t believe we came all this way to eat spicy fried chicken”, he tells you as soon as you order your favorite.
“Stop”, you pout, “you know this place has the best chicken wings in the entire planet”
“Have you ever tried all the chicken wings on the planet?” He teases, making you roll your eyes.
“I don’t need to, I just know this one is the best”, you argue back, crossing your arms.
He stares at you with an idiotic smile, biting on his bottom lip trying not to laugh at you.
“Maybe on our next tour you can come with us?” he says, feeling his face warming up, “I’ll accept your opinion only after you try the fried chicken from two other countries”
Jisung looks around, trying to hide his blushing or his pout, anxiously waiting for your answer but you can see his ears as red as tomatoes.
“Maybe”, that’s the only thing you say, holding yourself from giggling.
You and Jisung take a walk when you finish your food, needing some exercise after eating too much. You take your sneakers off, feeling the sand hugging your feet and the cold water making you shiver when the waves finally get to you.
“Remember when I had to go on tour for the first time?” Jisung asks, glancing at you and you nod. “You got so upset that I would go away for an entire month, that you disappeared, your mom wanted to kill you”, he chuckles and you sigh, remembering that time.
You were 20 and had barely settled down in Seoul when he had to go away. You were upset that you would have to stay all by yourself since classes had already started but you pretended like everything was alright.
“I didn’t really disappear, that’s an exaggeration”, you scoff, “I just forgot to mention that I wouldn’t come home that night”
“Well, that sounds like disappearing to me”, he argues back, “and it did to our parents too”
“The point?” You try changing the subject, not really wanting to admit that you were in the wrong.
“The point is, that I found you seated on that rock right there”, he points to the place you were walking to. “You were a mess, you cried and were already sick because you didn’t bring a coat and it was already night”, he scolds you, making you roll your eyes.
“And?” You push again, starting to feel guilty again about that day.
“I should have realized your feelings for me sooner”, Jisung bites on his bottom lip, fidgeting with his hands. “Everyone but me knew and you had to struggle on your own. I’m sorry”
You feel tears brimming on your eyes, you don’t want him to pity you.
“I never wanted an apology from you”, you explain, “I was always aware that you didn’t have to like me back. It was not fair of me to expect you to feel something you didn’t. That’s why I never told you… I mean, until I couldn’t hold it back anymore”, you chuckle awkwardly. “Even if you had never liked me back, I wouldn’t want you to apologize to me”
Jisung pouts, nodding in agreement.
“But I’m not apologizing for not liking you back”, he say, “I’m apologizing because you struggled because of me and if I had realized it sooner maybe you wouldn’t have had to-”
“And maybe you wouldn’t have fallen in love with me too”, you blurt out, hand flying to your mouth as soon as the sentence left your mouth, making a big smile show up in his lips.
“Am I hearing this correctly?” He teases, seeing you blush. “Did you just admit that you are satisfied that I’m the one in love now?”
“Why, of course”, you bite back a smile. “You deserve a bit of a punishment for dating so much in your life”, you shake your head in disapproval.
“There’s nothing wrong with falling in love”, he teases, laughing when you roll your eyes.
He’s right, you were in love with him for a long time and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, for some reason, that makes your heart ache and an awful thought appears in your mind, making you stop on your tracks, glancing at him and staring for a whole minute before speaking up again.
“For how long are you going to be in love with me though?” You ask, letting your insecurities speak but you can’t help but think about that. “Your relationships didn’t last that long, are you sure you won’t just fall out of love with me in a bit?”
That makes his smile disappear, his brows knit together in a frown, pure confusion on his complexion.
“I- you’re different”, he says like it is the simplest thing in the world.
“What’s so different about me?” You push, trying to understand him, trying to look for some reassurance.
“I don’t think I ever felt like this for anyone before”, he explains. “I was never the jealous type, but when I saw you with Jeongho I wanted to explode and my chest hurt so much. I think of you every minute of the day, I was never like this before. I want to show you places, I want to take you to eat different foods and see your reaction when you taste them. You know you’re just like Hyunjin right? You do that face when you eat something delicious”, he smiles, “I want to be the one to make you smile and I want to be the one who’s there when you need to cry. I want to be your best friend, but I don’t want to be just your best friend, I want to have it all. All of you”
You feel like all the air from your body just decided to come out, you can’t breathe and at the same time you feel like you’re breathing too much — too fast, but when you see his dark eyes watching you, waiting for you to say something — anything, its like your body move on its on and in the split of a second your lips are on his.
You always dreamed about kissing Jisung. You always imagined how it would be to kiss him. But not even your greatest dreams came close to reality. His lips are soft just like cotton and warm like the hot chocolate you drink on a cold day. His body pressed against yours is something you never thought you needed but now that you have it it's something you don’t think you can let go.
His hands cup your face, fingers digging on your skin like you’re going to run away if he holds you with less strength. He’s shy, just pressing his lips against yours, until it's too much for him to handle and his tongue comes into your mouth, making you sigh. Jisung's hands trail gentle caresses down your arms, leaving a trail of warmth behind and sliding around your waist and pressing himself more against you.
You are completely lost in his lips, not sure what to do next, it's like it's your first time kissing someone. You grab his shirt, trying to get a hold on something, trying not to fall because your legs are almost giving out and your chest feels like exploding. When you two need to breathe, he pulls away from you, looking at you breathlessly, waiting for you to explain yourself or at least give him another kiss. But when he sees doubt in your eyes, he hugs you, squeezing you against him again.
“Please, don’t run away now”, he pleads. “I don’t think I can handle it, not after this”
“Jisung, I-”, you hesitate, trying to say the right thing.
“You don’t have to give me an answer right now”, he assures you. “I won’t expect anything from you until you are sure about your decision, so don’t worry about it”, he says.
“Okay”, you nod.
The fact that it seems like your feelings didn’t change at all, scares you. How could you try so hard to get over him but still feel the same? If he hadn’t come around to like you, would you have struggled your whole life with your unrequited love? It didn’t happen but the ‘what if’ is haunting you and you can’t give him an answer until this feeling goes away.
The trip back home is quiet, not as awkward as you thought it would be but Jisung seems lost in thoughts and you are not very different. You don’t know why you keep letting all these intrusive thoughts win over your mind, if it was before your confession, you’d jump in his arms at the mere mention of him liking you back, so why is it so different now? Why are you so hesitant?
“Do you want pizza?” He asks, as soon as you enter Seoul again.
“Yeah”, you nod, looking at him.
Jisung changed too, he’s treating you the same as he always did but it seems different somehow, you just can’t quite grasp what changed. He looks more mature, like something switched inside of him and that makes you a bit nervous. You’re not so familiar with this Jisung, you can’t predict what he’s gonna do next or what he’s thinking. Your best friend doesn’t look just like your best friend anymore and maybe that’s the whole point. If things stayed the same would it feel like you were dating? Would you understand that you don’t have to hide your feelings anymore? That you can kiss him and be jealous of him? If things stayed the same, would you let yourself love him freely?
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“So she kissed you”, Chan points out, eyes squeezed, trying to make sense of the situation, “and she hasn’t talked about it since?”
“Yeah”, Jisung pouts, “but in her defense, I told her I didn’t need an answer immediately”
“And that was your mistake”, Hyunjin says, “you have anxiety, you always need answers immediately”
“Well, you’re not wrong”, Jisung sighs, “but I didn’t want her to feel pressured. Especially since it looked like she was about to run away if I said anything abrupt”.
“I guess she’s just confused”, Chan tries to help, “but the fact that she kissed you is a good sign”
“You think so?” Jisung looks at his older friend with puppy eyes, hopeful.
“Yeah, of course”, Chan chuckles.
“You know what?” Changbin comes in from the kitchen, he’s been listening to the whole story but didn’t say a thing until now. “You should do something romantic for her”
“Like what?” Jisung asks.
“Think about something that would be touching, something that has to do with your story together”, Chan advises, making the youngest think.
Jisung frowns, there's something that comes to mind but would you like that? Until now, he has tried to be subtle in his ways of approaching you. He wakes up earlier than you everyday and makes you eat before you go to class. He's always home when you come back at night, waiting with snacks and a movie for you two to watch together. You have been discovering a new side of him, even though you thought you knew everything about your best friend, but now Jisung watches you with heart eyes.
Would you like it if he was more romantic? He’s not even sure if you’re into that kind of thing, the boyfriends you had never made big gestures like that and you didn’t seem to care. Would you like it if it's him doing it? Well, it doesn’t hurt to try.
“Okay, I think I know what to do”, Jisung decides.
You still haven't given an answer to Jisung and that's making you feel bad, what's holding you right now? You know he likes you, but what if things don't work out, will you be able to keep being friends after all that?
To take your mind out of that for a bit, you finally graduate, after what it felt like ages. You poured all your blood, sweat and tears in the years that you spent in college, now you're finally free.
Jisung's parents and yours came to the city for your graduation celebration. You organized a dinner in a good restaurant and the night was so much fun, you laughed till your stomach hurt and your friends brought up all your embarrassing stories through all the years you spent in college.
The morning after you had trouble even opening your eyes, any light was too much and your eyes refused to open. You hear a few knocks on the door of your room, making you groan, telling the person — Jisung probably, to enter.
“You should get ready”, he says, making you frown, eyes still closed. “Don't pretend that you're still sleeping, it's afternoon”, he whines.
“I'm not pretending, my eyes can't take this much light”, you explain, you shouldn't have drank so much.
Jisung walks past you, going to the window and closing the blinds.
“Now you have no excuses”, he teases, watching as you flutter your eyes open slowly.
“Why do I need to get ready, though?” You ask, sitting down.
“We are going out”
“We are?”
“Yes, so get ready”, he informs you, walking past you in the direction of the door and leaving with no further explanation. What's this guy planning now?
You get up, grab a towel and a change of clothes and go to take a shower, knowing that arguing won't take you anywhere.
Jisung is waiting for you in the car, a cup of coffee and a sandwich waiting for you.
“Shall we?” He asks, turning on the engine when you enter the car and close the door.
“Couldn't we have had breakfast inside?” You ask, biting on the sandwich.
“It's not a breakfast if it's already afternoon”, he rolls his eyes, “I ate a long time ago and we are already late”
“Late for what?” You enquiry, sipping on the coffee.
“It's a surprise”, he grins, eyes focused on the road.
You sigh, knowing that he won't tell you, so you just finish eating while watching the scenario change, buildings turning into threes and farms.
“Don't you know how to plan dates in the city?” You ask, making him laugh.
“I do, but I wanted to do something specific on this date and I had a bit of trouble finding it”, he tells you.
The sun is already starting to set when Jisung parks in front of a school, making you from, what kind of date is this? You ask, trying to understand, until you see a crowd.
You get out, walking by yourself while Jisung locks the car, hearing his footsteps after you a few seconds later.
“What's this?” You ask, when you see the booths spread around the campus and the families and students walking around.
“A school festival”, he smiles, watching as you turn to look at him, confusion in your face. “A little bird told me that you found out about your feelings for me right around the time I took Haneul to the school festival on elementary school”, he bites on his bottom lip, “and you were there to witness my first date, even though you liked me”, he sighs, “so I thought that maybe I could make it up for that time by bringing you to a school festival, just me and you”, he explains, making your heart skip a bit. You never thought Jisung could be this romantic, you never knew you liked this kind of romantic stuff either, but the way your heart is beating makes you think that you do.
“I- Jisung I-”, you try to say but you can't form a coherent sentence, making him smile.
“Let's go, I got a lot of prizes to win for you”, he informs, stretching his hand in your direction so you can hold it and you do, you hold his hand without a second thought, ignoring his red ears and how hot your cheeks are.
You walk around the place, going to every booth, watching the performances and eating to your heart's content. Jisung is giving you food like his life depends on it, it's a mission of his to make you eat everything you set your eyes on and when you can't finish he does it for you, but he wants you to try everything.
“How are we supposed to carry all this?” You ask, arms full of the plushies he earned you.
“Like we are doing right now”, he answers, as if he has not been dropping the ones he's carrying all the time.
“You know the children must hate you, right?”
“It's not my fault if I have the power of love to help me win the big prizes”, he winks at you, making you feel your cheeks hot.
“Let's go, it's already late”, you tell him, walking faster in the direction of the car so Jisung won't notice how flustered you got.
You stuff the plushies in the backseat, feeling a few drops of rain fall on your face when you close the door, making you run to the passenger seat to escape. Jisung comes right after you, starting the car and driving back to the road.
“Can you check the forecast? I did it in the morning and there was nothing about rain”, he asks, the rain outside getting stronger.
“Sure”, you take your phone out of your pocket, searching for news about the weather. “It seems like it's one of those rains that start out of nowhere”, you explain, “and it's not going to stop any time soon”, you watch the dark road, little to no lighting.
“Should we look for a hotel, then?” Jisung asks, making you turn to him with wide eyes. “Hey! Don't get any weird ideas, we are going to separate rooms”, he informs you, covering his chest like you have the dirtiest mind.
“I didn't say anything”, you retort, crossing your arms.
“Hmph, but you thought”, he murmurs. “Can you look for a place nearby?” He asks but you were already doing that.
There's a nice hotel a few minutes from where you are and when you call them, they tell you there are rooms available but when you get there things are different.
“So… they only have a room”, you say, fidgeting.
“It's fine, I can sleep on the floor”, he shrugs, pressing for the elevator to come to you.
“Actually there are separate beds, so there's no need”, you chuckle, seeing his ears turning red.
“Great, that's great. My back appreciates it”, he rumbles, flustered like an idiot making you laugh.
The rain seems to get worse outside, now adding thunder and lightning to the chaos. The room is comfortable and clean, there's a bathroom and a minibar so you can eat something.
You take your coat, throwing it in one of the beds and walk to the window, closing the blinds and shivering watching the lightning outside. Jisung opens the fridge, looking inside to see if there’s anything interesting to eat and grabbing a bottle of water.
“Do you want it?” He asks, making you turn to look at him and nod, waiting as he walks to you, handing you the bottle.
“I think we should get to sleep soon, so we can go back early tomorrow”, you say, gulping the water and Han nods, finishing his.
You two get on your beds, it's weird to sleep in the same room as him after so long. You turn your back to him, hoping that not seeing his face is going to make it easier for you to sleep.
However, a thunder rumbles so loudly sounding like it's right by your room's window, making you jump.
“Jeez”, you squeal, covering your face with the blanket.
“Are you alright?” Jisung's voice sounds behind you, making you turn to look at him. He's staring at you, brows knit together in worry.
“I'm fine”, you tell him, even though you're not so sure.
“I know you're afraid of storms”, he sighs, biting on his bottom lip. “Do you want me to lay down with you? So you won't be so scared?”
You feel heat spreading all over you just by thinking about sleeping in the same bed as Jisung. You slept together a hundred times before so it shouldn't be so embarrassing to do it once more, but you're not sure if you're going to be able to behave if you go there.
“There's no need”, you tell him, closing your eyes and trying to fall asleep when another thunder sounds out there, seeming so much louder than before and making you jump again. “You know what? I think I'll accept your offer”, you say, watching as Jisung sits down, grabbing his pillow and blanket, standing up to move to your bed. He lays down so far from you that he's almost falling from the mattress.
“I won't bite you”, you roll your eyes, turning to look at him, facing the middle of the bed.
“I wouldn't mind if you did”, he chuckles, “I just don't want to make you uncomfortable”, he says and even with the darkness of the room, you can see his cheeks reddening when he gets closer.
“You won't make me uncomfortable, it's okay”, you put your arm down your pillow and the other one on top, your hand beneath your head, watching as Jisung fidgets, trying to find a good position without touching you. “Do I make you uncomfortable?” You enquiry, seeing as his eyes widen and he shakes his head frantically.
“Not at all, you're the person whom I feel the most comfortable with”, he confesses, making your cheeks burn and something more spread through your whole body.
Maybe things need to change. What then, if things don't workout? If you were going to think that way, you should have never confessed to your best friend in the first place. You decided to risk it all when you told him about your feelings and now he's the one pouring himself to you, waiting for you to choose him once more.
“If I asked you to kiss me now, would you?” You ask, gulping down, trying to stay calm even though your heart just turned into a hammer in your chest.
“Can I?” He asks, hopeful, watching as you nod slowly. His hands cup your face and in the split of a second his lips are on yours, his fingers caress your cheeks delicately and he holds you like you're the most fragile thing in the whole world.
This kiss is so much better, kissing him while being certain about what you're feeling is delightful. His kiss is still soft and sweet, yearning and hungry as if he's been waiting for this for a long time.
You slide your hands down his shirt, going to his back and digging your nails on his skin. He sighs on your lips, letting a little groan escape his mouth. Jisung's hands go down from your face too, sliding to your waist and hips to pull you closer to him, pressing your body against his.
When you two find it too difficult to breathe, he pulls away from you, trailing kisses down your jaw and your neck, biting on your soft skin, making you moan. Your eyes widen in embarrassment but Jisung looks at you with dark eyes, licking on his lips.
“You sound so good, please don't hold back”, he pleads, going back to marking you. “Can I take it off?” He asks, grabbing the hem of your shirt, making your whole face burn as you nod, sitting down so he can pull the piece of fabric out of your body. He watches as your chest rises and falls, you lay back down, looking around extremely flustered but he can't take his eyes out of you. You're the prettiest woman he ever got to know and he's so in love with you that it feels like his heart is about to explode.
Jisung leans closer to your face, kissing you again as you let your hands wander through his body, sliding them to his hips and digging your nails on his skin, pulling him against you, feeling his length pressing on your thigh.
“You're so pretty”, he sings praises as he kisses down your collarbone, reaching your breast and his hands go to your back, undoing your bra.
“Stop staring”, you feel your cheeks burning with the way his eyes wander through your chest.
“I can't, you're too beautiful”, he answers, leaning down do suck on your hardened peaks.
“Ji-Jisung”, your hands fly to his hair as you press him against your breasts, “that's so good”, you sigh, feeling his tongue circling around your nipple.
Jisung starts humping against your clothed core, making you gasp and groan as your hands cup his face, bringing him back to kiss you. He doesn't stop the movements of his hips, rubbing his hard cock and sighing on your lips.
“Can I eat you out?” He asks, biting on your bottom lip as he pulls away from you.
His eyes are dark like you have never seen, like he's in a daze but the reality is that Jisung is too drunk on your scent and your warmth to think about how lustful he may look at that moment.
“How much do you want it?” You tease, making him sigh, looking at you with puppy eyes, his hands going to the waistband of your pants, pulling it slightly away from your hips and playing with it, wanting to pull it down but waiting for your permission.
“I want to taste you so bad, you have no idea”, he bites on his bottom lip, “I feel like I might die if I don't feel your pussy clenching around my tongue right now”, he pleads, making your hips involuntarily thrust against his shaft, making him groan, “fuck. This is torture, please let me taste you, please”, he begs.
“I like it when you beg”, you try to pretend you're not dying to have his mouth down on you, “go ahead”
In a second Jisung is pulling your pants down, your panties going with it, he has no time to waste. He rushes to fit in between your legs, setting them over his shoulders as he kisses your inner thighs, trailing kisses closer and closer to your aching cunt.
“I can feel the scent of your arousal”, he teases, taking a deep breath, “You smell so good, baby”, he completes, making you groan in embarrassment.
“What are you, a dog?” You retort, trying to ignore the burning on your face.
“Only for you”, he grins before diving in on your pussy. Jisung attaches his mouth to your clit, the warmth of his tongue spreading all over your body and you lead your hands to his hair again, pressing him against your core. His fingers dig on your thighs like he wants to mark you, putting more strength on the way his face sticks between your legs.
“Jisung- fuck, Sungie”, you whine feeling his arm moving, his finger being inserted inside your folds. He thrust them in and out, eyes closed as he enjoys your taste, the way your juices spill all over the bed sheets, he wants every bit of it in his mouth but there's just too much, he can't have it all. It's okay though, he's planning to lick you clean everyday from now on, every time he makes you come on his tongue, he's not going to let any of your juices go to waste.
He puts another finger inside you, finally opening his eyes when he feels your walls fluttering around his knuckles.
“Fuck, are you gonna cum baby?” He asks, the look of pleasure in your face is so much that he has to hump against the bed to get some relief, his cock is throbbing so much, he feels he can cum just by looking at you.
“Y-hmm”, you are unable to form a whole word, the feeling spreading all over your body is too overwhelming, it's making you dazed and you can't think properly but you nod to him, hoping Jisung can understand that he shouldn't stop, not right now.
“Shit, y/n, come for me, please, I want to taste you coming on my tongue”, he tells you, going back to licking your cunt. He can feel the moment you cum, not just because you moan so loudly he thinks the other people on that floor can hear it but because your hole gets tighter around his fingers. You arch your back, hands going to the sheets as you grab them for dear life.
As you come down from your high, you're embarrassed to open your eyes. You never thought Jisung was one to do the whole dirty talking thing but if you think about it, there are quite a couple of things you didn't know about him.
You feel his kisses coming up your stomach, forcing you to open your eyes, you prop up on your elbows, watching him sneaking closer to you.
“Was it good?” He asks and you feel your whole face burning again but you nod anyways, feeling breathless when he smiles brightly, ears turning red.
You're ready to ask something but the huge bulge in his pants makes you gulp, staring for a second until his eyes follow yours and he blushes, turning with his stomach down so he can hide that part from you.
“Can I suck you off too?” You ask, licking your lips, suddenly eager to feel him coming on your mouth.
“I- I really want you to”, he clears his throat, looking around embarrassed, “but I don't think I'm gonna last long if I feel your pretty lips around me”, he says, making a huge smile grow on your lips.
“I never thought you'd be such a sweet talker in bed”, you confess, still squirming to his words.
Jisung smiles, leaning closer to you know, his chest pressed against yours and his length brushing on your leg.
“So, did you thought about how it would feel like if I fucked you?” His eyes darken again.
“I mean, lately you have been showing too much skin, it would be impossible for me not to have any dirty thoughts”, you confess.
“Fuck”, he groans, “do you want to keep goin?” He asks, kissing your neck, going up to your jaw and then your lips, “I don't have a condom but I'm sure we can make it work without putting it in”, he stares at you expectantly.
You feel the warmth on your lower stomach spread to all your body, shouldn't you feel less turned on now that you came?
“I- I'm on the pill, so…” you start saying and his eyes widen to your suggestion.
“Are you sure, it's okay if we don't-”
“I want to”, you assure him, “I want to feel all of you inside me, you have no idea how much I want to”, you plead and Jisung breathes a laugh, he's glad to see you're as desperate as he is.
“Okay”, he nods, “but if you want to stop at any time just tell me”, he says as he gets up from the bed to take his pants and underwear off.
When Jisung cock springs out of his underwear, hitting his stomach, you can't hold the moan that escapes your lips as you watch how painfully hard he is. He crawls back to your side, letting his hand rest on your stomach as he kisses you again.
“Do you have a position you want to be in?” He asks, shyly, as if you both are not fully naked in front of each other.
“I'd like to stay on top if it's okay”, you whisper and he nods.
“Yeah, I'd love that”, he says, laying down after giving you a peck on the lips. You take a deep breath before kissing him too, mouth trailing down his jaw and neck. You mark him, giving him hickeys all around his chest.
Jisung cups your face, bringing your lips to his as you throw a leg over his hip, rubbing your wet folds on the length of his cock, that small stimulation making you moan.
“Shit, you're so hot”, he whines, biting on his bottom lip as he stares at you. You chuckle, grabbing his shaft and positioning it on your entrance, closing your eyes and sighing to the mere pressure of his head splitting your foulds in a half. You sink down on his cock, moaning loudly, feeling him stretching you out perfectly.
“Oh- oh, this is so good, fuck”, you whine, letting yourself get used to the feeling.
“You're so tight”, he groans, hands going straight to your hips, digging his fingers on the flesh. “It feels so good inside you”
Jisung closes his eyes, overwhelmed with you, it's too much, your warmth is hugging him, making him whine and groan like an animal. But he wants you to feel as good as he's feeling, so he takes one of his hands from your hip to your mouth, brushing his middle and index fingers on your lips.
“Suck on them, baby”, he asks, making you moan and do as you're told. Jisung grins, taking his hand down to your core and pressing them on your clit, making circles around the puffy bud.
“Ah- Sungie, that's- that's too much”, you whine riding him slowly, feeling your orgasm growing at each passing second. The knot on your stomach ready to burst when you feel his cock throbbing inside you, making you open your eyes to look at him.
He's stunning even coming undone beneath you, Jisung has his lips partially open, his hair stuck on his sweaty forehead and his moans are just like music to your years, the prettiest sound he ever made and it's just yours now, it's just for you to hear it.
“I'm gonna come! Y/n, I'm gonna come”, he warns you so you can get off him if you want to but you sink deeper, causing him to reach his orgasm, spilling his hot cum inside you. You follow him shortly when he puts more pressure on your clit while he's coming, making you tremble and moan as you spasm with pleasure.
You fall down on his chest, feeling Jisung's arms wrap around you as he gently lays you down by his side. He pulls the blanket to cover you and gives you a kiss on the top of your head as he watches you blinking into sleep.
Jisung wakes up to an empty bed. His hand wanders through the sheets, searching for your warm body to snuggle in as he opens his eyes but he finds nothing, just a cold space.
He sits on the bed to look around, trying to find you but you're nowhere to be seen and suddenly dread takes over him. Did you go home? Did you leave him behind? Did you regret spending the night with him?
Those thoughts break his heart, he looks around once more just to make sure he's not mistaken and you're actually there with him. He gets up, putting on sweatpants and walking to the bathroom. He knocks a few times, hoping that you're there, that you're going to tell him to wait because you're in there but no sound comes back to him and when he opens the door the space is empty.
Jisung sits down on the edge of the bathtub, he wants to cry. He shouldn't have expected you to stay with him just because you spent one night together, he should have known that, but why does it hurt so much? Why does he feel like a part of his heart was ripped out?
He sighs, guessing this is your answer to his confession. Could you still be friends after what happened last night? He can't be sure. He goes around the room, collecting the rest of his things and finishing getting dressed, couldn't you have waited for him? The keys are still on the table, so how did you go home without the car?
When he's grabbing said keys though, the room's door swings open, welcoming in a very sweaty you.
“Ah, you're up?” You pout, “I thought I would be able to come back before you woke up”, you smile. How can you smile like that when you just broke his heart? How could you have disappeared?
“You came back?” He asks, arms falling limp by his sides. He stares at you with the eyes of a wounded puppy and that's when you know you did something you shouldn't.
“Yeah? You thought I left you?” You tease, trying to be funny but when he sulks, eyes growing glossy, it sinks in. “You did”, you come to the conclusion, closing the door behind you.
You walk to Jisung, putting the bag you have in your hands on the table.
“I went to buy breakfast but it turns out there aren't many places that sell decent food around here”, you explain, “it ended up taking more time than it was supposed to, I should have left a note. I'm sorry”
“I thought you had decided that you didn't want to stay with me”, Jisung whines, “that after last night you found out that I'm not enough for you anymore. That I really ruined everything”, he cries out, a single tear running down his cheek.
“Jisung, of course I wouldn't leave you behind even if I had decided I didn't want to date you”, you tell him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, trying to give him some reassurance.
“I was even preparing a speech in my head”, he pouts, “about how even if we don't date I'd still see you the same way. I'd be by your side forever even if it's not romantically, I'd be happy to watch you live your life, even if it's with someone else as long as you were happy”, he tells you. “Your love was already something I couldn't reach so I'm grateful that you gave me the chance to show you how much I love you”
“So you're going to be happy even if I marry someone else?” You question, making him sulk even more.
“I won't be happy but if you're that's enough for me”
“But I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be happy that I'm marrying someone else”, you tell him, smiling slightly as you watch the sentence you just said sink in on him and the sparkling grow in his eyes.
“Bo-boyfriend?” He asks, hesitant.
“Of course, or did you think I'd smash then dash?” You chuckle, his cheeks turn red and he pouts pulling you closer with the hand you have holding yours.
“So you love me back, right?” He questions, making you smile, nodding.
“I do”
“‘Cause I love you so much it feels like my heart is about to burst”, he says, putting your hand on his chest, his heart beating like crazy, making you smile. “Then, do you want to be my girlfriend?”
“Ye-”, his lips are on yours before you can finish the sentence, making you sigh, just forgetting about the breakfast and also to check out, calling the reception and updating your stay for another half day.
When you show up at Jeongin’s birthday holding hands and looking lovey dovey, everyone sighs relieved and you have to hear Minho’s and Seungmin's sarcastic ass saying “finally” and “I thought I would die before you two would finally fuck”, respectively.
Your daily life with Jisung went about almost the same as before, except that now you'd basically share the same room, you'd rarely sleep in yours. You make food and take it to the company when he's too busy, sometimes you even stay there till late in the night, waiting for him to finish recording so he can come home with you and cuddle in bed until you two fall asleep.
Your parents don't make a big deal about it, you swore your father would make you move to another place after the news came out but he just sighed, telling you that he knew this would happen someday and that he's happy you are dating someone as good as Jisung.
A few months go by and your relationship is still going smoothly. Of course you have some arguments here and there but nothing that you can't fix with a conversation.
You accepted the proposal of the guys to go touring with them and that's how you ended up in their dressing room, waiting for them to get back there after their last show on the tour.
The door opens and you hear the boys' loud voices coming in, greeting them and telling how nice the show was.
“You see how hard your future husband works?” Jisung brags, walking up to you and pulling you aside. He wraps his arms around you and you feel your cheeks burn, you still feel flustered to hear him saying this kind of thing.
“Future husband?” You tease, giggling as he pouts, frowning.
“Yeah, or do you let any man do this to you?” He pulls you closer and gives you a peck on the lips.
“Maybe?” You tease, making him stare at you with his brows raised, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue.
“It seems like you need some punishment”, he sighs, looking at his hands before attaching them to your stomach, tickling you.
“Stop!” You scream, laughing and trying to get away from him.
“Say you're only mine”, he pouts, tickling you even more.
“Jisung, I'm gonna kill you”, you struggle to say between giggles.
“I'll die happily if you say I'm the only one for you”, he pushes, pressing his fingers even harder against your stomach.
“Okay, alright”, you give in, making him stop to look at you. “You are the only one for me and I'm all yours, happy?” You roll your eyes, watching his pout turning into a big smile.
“Say it one more time”, he whines.
“I love you”, you say, making Jisung stare at you for a moment, before his cheeks start turning pink.
“I'll never get tired of hearing that”, he smiles, holding your hand and bringing it to his mouth for him to kiss. “I love you”, he says, leaning in for a kiss, the sweetest you have ever shared.
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A/N: If you like my work, please don't forget to reblog, it really helps my stories reach new people so more readers can come to enjoy what I write.
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hyunniesgirl · 22 days
Text
The only bad thing about this is that it was too short 😭
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baby
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fuckboy!hyunjin. 1.6k word. cliched enemy to lovers(??) with a douchebag hyunjin.
“don’t tell me you’re scared of some fake gore,” the boy whispers over to you, followed by a mocking chuckle, “need me to protect you baby?”
“shut up.”
“baby.”
“shut-”
“can you both shut up and just watch the damn movie?” seungmin says from his sitting position on the floor, his head turning back to glare at both you and hyunjin on the couch, “i swear if i need to pause it again, i’m throwing both of you out in the cold!”
if it weren’t for the fact that your roommate was dating seungmin, you would never ever interact with someone like his best friend, hwang hyunjin, let alone let him into your apartment.
but unfortunately for you, the two were the ultimate besties which meant where one boy went, the other usually followed. that’s why it had become a norm for the four of you to hang out. like right now, a weekend movie night.
you really didn’t mind seungmin, the boy was nice and treated your roommate well but hwang hyunjin was a whole other story.
hwang hyunjin. sigh. the boy was the literal definition of a fuck boy. an obnoxious frat boy who flirted his way through every living thing in a skirt. yeah, that was a way to describe him.
at first, hanging out with him wasn’t all that bad. you actually didn’t mind him either, the boy was somewhat funny and that face of his was just absolutely breath taking. one of the many reasons why he was so popular around town.
but then he began treating you differently, for some reason. he’d go out of his way to annoy you, to insult you, to tease you. he seemed to suddenly hate you and he made sure to let you know that.
and it had been hell since.
“i’m gonna make more popcorn,” you get off the couch and head towards the kitchen, sighing at the thought of having to spend the rest of the night with hyunjin. classes had already been hell for you so the last thing you needed tonight was a screaming match with the fuck boy.
“don’t do too much thinking, your small brain might explode.”
that voice. that god awful voice.
you turn around to see the devil himself leaning against the kitchen entrance, arms crossed over and a smug grin on his stupid handsome face.
“what? cat got your tongue babe?” he makes his way over to you, cornering you in against the kitchen cabinet, “or have you finally fallen in love with me?”
“fuck off hwang,” you push at his chest but the boy doesn’t budge, only laughing at your weak move, “i’m not in the mood to deal with your shit.”
“what do you have against me anyway?” he leans in closer to you, both his hands now resting on either sides of you on the cabinet, “is it cause i’m so good looking and so popular?”
gulp.
this has to be the closest you’ve ever been to hyunjin, his face barely even an inch away from yours. the smell of his cologne is attacking you from every direction, a very clear indication that he was way into your personal space than necessary.
“no hwang. i hate you because you’re so obnoxious and so self centred!”
“oh really?”
“yes!” your hands push up against his chest again as you say so, preventing the boy from coming any closer to you, “you think everything is about you! just because all the girls on campus wants to fuck you, doesn’t mean you can be such a douchebag all the time!”
perhaps you were crazy but you swear you could see his gaze move from your eyes to your lips as you spoke, the boy clearly not paying any attention to your words. you’re not sure why he’s suddenly so quiet, why he’s not throwing insults at you but the way he’s staring is making you more nervous than ever.
you try to avoid his weird, intense gaze by moving away but the boy stays put, his arms on either sides of you seemingly sliding closer to your body instead.
“mo- move-”
“do you wanna fuck me?”
“what the fuck hyunjin?”
“you said every girl on campus wants to fuck me right? well do you wanna fuck me?”
“of course not!”
“well that’s really too bad,” he scoffs, a playful grin on his face as his hands grab onto your waist, holding you in place, “cause i wanna fuck you though.”
your mouth is frozen, your mind unable to process the words that had come out of his mouth. maybe you were just hearing things because there was no way he had just said what he said to you.
the boy who had made your life a living hell these past two months wanted to what? fuck you?
“you... what?”
“i said, i want to fuck you,” his grip on you tightens with every word, fingers now gripping so harshly into your skin that you’re certain marks will appear by tomorrow morning, “and if you don’t tell me to stop, i am going to kiss you right now.”
gulp.
“th- this isn’t funny. let go.”
you let out a squeal when he suddenly lifts you up onto the cabinet and moves to stand in between your dangling legs. his body is now comfortably pressed against yours, his arms tightly around your waist while yours are resting on his shoulders. it’s a position you wouldn’t have ever imagined you’d be in with him but here you are and you’re not pushing him away either.
“does it look like i’m trying to be funny?” his lips brushes past yours just slightly as he says so, a move you would’ve surely punched him for but at this moment, you don’t know how to react.
so many things are running through your mind, so many different potential reasons as to why he was suddenly acting this way.
“too late baby.”
and his lips were on yours before you could even respond, kissing you with so much force that your bottom lip immediately hurts. the boy is evidently desperate, wanting to taste more of you than just the surface.
his hands casually slides underneath your shirt as he continues to kiss you, causing an instant shiver through your body from his touch alone. you feel as though your body is on fire, every part of you screaming to be touched, to be pleased.
he moves away from you slightly after a bit, just enough for you to catch your breath again. he doesn’t take his eyes off of you the entire time, the intensity of his gaze only causing an embarrasing pool in between your legs. in addition to the pool that was already there during the kiss.
“if you just want to get your dick wet, well you’re not getting shit from me hwang.”
lies. you know for a fact that one more move from the boy and you’ll probably end up on your knees if he told you to.
but he didn’t need to know that.
“actually i’ve been trying for two months but you’re too fucking dense to notice,” he rolls his eyes at you, clearly annoyed, “why else would i spend every single weekend here? you think i really want to watch shitty b grade movies with the lovey dovey couple?”
“wait... what?”
“i flirt with you every single time! as if you really didn’t know!”
“being a dick is your way of flirting?” you make a disgusted face and slap his chest, “how on earth do you get girls everyday being this way?”
“well i haven’t had a girl in two months because the one i want is oblivious as fuck.”
silence.
...
more silence.
“well- well... i-”
“just shut up,” he smashes his lips onto your onces again, this time kissing you in a way that had your knees weak and your body feeling like mush. it’s a slow and sensual kiss, as if the boy is taking his time with you, wanting to feel every part of you.
you end up whimpering into the kiss when one of his hands moves to trace the thin lining of your pants, his fingers teasingly slipping past the band. but to your dismay, that’s all he does.
“hyunjin...”
“yeah baby, i’m right here.”
“oh. my. god,” you and hyunjin immediately freeze at your roommate’s sudden gasp, only to see her and seungmin standing at the entrance, completely disgusted, “i knew you guys would’ve ended up fucking one day but PLEASE not in my kitchen. PLEASE.”
“i told you dude. should’ve just confessed instead of giving me a headache for the past two months,” seungmin sighs dramatically before pulling your roommate away, “whatever, we’re going out. you guys play nicely.”
and the two are gone as quick as they appeared, leaving you and hyunjin alone in the apartment. no one says anything for a while but you don’t care. all you wanted to do was hide in a hole forever after being caught by your roommate and seungmin.
with a sigh, you decide it’d be best for you to get off the cabinet but hyunjin stops you.
“ah- i’m not done with you yet,” he says sternly, holding you in place, “we have a lot to talk about.”
“talk?”
“yeah like where you want me to take you on our first date.”
“who said i’d date you?” it’s your turn to scoff now, amazed at the boy’s confidence, “you wish hwang.”
“who you trying to fool? you were about to let me fuck you right here in this kitchen babe, so i’m pretty sure you wouldn’t say no to a date.”
“hwang hyunjin!”
“yeah baby, i’m right here.”
end.
​2024 © bangchansnudes on TUMBLR. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE OR REPOST.
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hyunniesgirl · 22 days
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Thank you for rebloging ❤️
Another Love | Part 5
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Warnings for this chapter: the tiniest bit of angst
Words count: ±5,600
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
A/N: I struggled so much with writer's block + personal life issues to write this part, I'm glad it's finally out. Next part will be the last one for another love.
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The first thing you think after waking up is that it was all a dream. Of course it was, there's no way Jisung likes you in that way.
After ten minutes sitting on your bed, staring at the wall, you come to the conclusion that it couldn't have been a dream, it was too realistic.
Then, you come to accept that he was drunk, there's no other reasonable possibility and that makes perfectly sense for you, he didn't mean what he said because he was intoxicated.
So after taking your sweet time getting ready for class, trying to avoid Jisung, you go out to the kitchen planning to pretend that last night's events never happened.
You didn't expect to find your best friend, wide awake, preparing coffee. Han doesn't really like waking up too early in the morning so it comes as a surprise when he's perfectly awake. He glances at you, pouring a coffee into a mug and handing it to you after wishing you a good morning.
Jisung looks tired, huge eye bags under his eyes. It looks like he didn't sleep at all.
His eyes trail carefully, analyzing your complexion, trying to guess what's your mood after his confession.
“About last night…” He starts saying, seeing your eyes dart from the dark liquid to his face.
“Don't worry about it”, you try sounding relaxed. So he remembers it, that makes you nervous. “I guessed that you were drunk and didn't mean what you said”, you shrug.
Han frowns, tilting his head to the side while staring at you.
“I was not drunk”, he says, “I meant everything I said”, he clears his throat nervously, “and I know it's too late, I don't want things to get weird again”
You feel your face warming up, you didn't expect him to tell you this kind of thing so straightforwardly. But above all else, you're mad. Mad because you went through so much to get over him, just for him to come back months later saying he likes you back? You're not having it.
“Do you think it's okay to play with people's feelings?” You put the mug on the table, crossing your arms. “You didn't give me any hope, Jisung, not a glimpse. You told me you never saw me in that way and it was pretty clear to me that you would never like me in a romantic way. So why now?”
He gulps, trying to find an answer for a question he has been asking himself since he noticed his new found feelings for you.
“I thought it would be selfish of me to give you hope at that time. I really didn't see you in that way, I don't know what changed”, he bites his bottom lip, feeling like he's ruining everything again.
“And you're not being selfish now?” You scoff, your words feel like daggers being thrown at him.
“I don't want to be”, he tells you, frowning in confusion.
“I guess it's not always the thought that counts”, you say, grabbing your bag from the couch and walking out of the door, wishing you didn't have to come back.
You're angry with Jisung for even thinking about changing his mind, but more than anything else you're angry with yourself because you felt your heart waver for a moment.
It's not easy to hear that he loves you, you have waited to hear that for so long it actually doesn't seem to be real. Sometimes you just long for something you know will never come and Jisung's love was just that, something you thought could never be yours.
You don't even know how to process it, you are not even over your relationship with Jeongho yet, you don't even know if you still like Jisung in that way. You're just confused, you should be grieving the relationship you didn't get to have and not worrying about your feelings for your best friend again.
You're just tired of all this, you wish you could just have a normal friendship with Jisung and not this mess. But that's on you, you're the one that loved him first and confessed to him, so this is just you dealing with the consequences of your own actions.
Since the moment Jisung realized he's in love with you, he's been trying to understand why now? You didn't change at all, you're still the same kind and smart girl you have always been, so why did he only fall in love with you now? After everything you went through to get over him.
He didn't really plan to tell you about his feelings, he thought that maybe it would be for the best if he kept those to himself so you could move on completely. But the thought of letting you think you were doing something wrong just broke his heart, you shouldn't think you're in the wrong when he's clearly at fault.
“Well, it could have been worse”, Chan says, smiling sympathetically to Jisung while they work on a new track.
“Worse how? She hates me now”, Jisung whines.
“It's better that she hates you for telling the truth, than her thinking she was ruining your friendship” Chan shrugs, looking back at his laptop.
“How many times can someone ruin a friendship, though?” Changbin asks, with a finger in hid chin, thinking out loud. “Are you two trying to compete or something?”
Jisung stares at Changbin for a moment, taking a deep breath, he shouldn't yell at his friend.
“Do you think you'll be able to see her moving on while you like her?” Chan asks, biting his bottom lip. “It was not easy for y/n to see you dating different people, but she's very strong. What about you?”
“I- I don't know”, Jisung answers, fidgeting with his fingers, “I'd like to have another chance, but I know it's not possible. I just want her to be happy even if it's not with me”
“Then, that's what you should do”, Chan shrugs. “Y/N is going through a hard time right now, you should just support her until her heart is fully healed and maybe, just maybe, one day you'll get another opportunity”
Jisung nods, feeling his heart sinking. It's his time now to pin over an unrequited love.
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“He what?” Hannah's voice comes out in a half scream, making the people around look at you two.
“You heard me”, you say, trying to hide yourself from the prying eyes.
“Well, he clearly has no tact”, Hannah points out. “So… hm… what did you tell him?”
“I told him that he shouldn't play with people feelings”
“But, how did you feel hearing his confession?” She asks, curiously.
“I don't know”, you sigh, “I swayed for a moment if that's what you want to know”, you play with the napkins on the table, trying not to look at Hannah because you know she's going to see right through you.
“Are you sure it was just for a moment?” She asks, looking at you sympathetically. You feel tears brimming through your eyes. “You still love him, don't you?” She asks even though she already knows your answer.
You nod, feeling a few tears running down your cheeks. It's been three days since Jisung confessed and all you could think about was him. You tried so hard to focus on other things, to think about how much he hurt you so many times, but everything just came down to how your heart couldn't stop beating so fast every time you remember him saying he's in love with you.
It's embarrassing to be crying in the middle of a restaurant, luckily it's night so the lack of lightning helps hide your red eyes.
“But I don't think I want to”, you tell Hannah, “I don't want to love him, not after all the effort I put to forget about these feelings”, you confess. Logically, you want to ignore all the reactions Jisung causes on you, you want to pretend you don't feel a single thing for him anymore.
“I don't think you'll be able to let go of these feelings if you keep being friends with him”, Hannah sighs, she really didn't want to be the person to tell you to end a 15 years long friendship, but if you really want to get over him, you're going to have to cut him off. “It was possible when he didn't like you back, but now there is this hope inside you and I just know that you'll keep holding on to it involuntarily”
“What should I do, then? Jisung is everything I ever know, I'm not sure if I'll be able to just end our friendship like that”
“Look, y/n. You have two options: end it now and move on, or you can consider accepting his feeling”, Hannah frowns, “I know it's hard, but I think it's something you have to take your time to think about”
You get back home, exhausted from the emotional turmoil. At least this whole situation took your mind out of Jeongho, you were able to go through another whole day without looking at your phone, waiting for him to contact you again. Maybe you're coming to terms with the fact that your relationship is really over.
As soon as you finish showering, you grab some ice cream from the fridge, put on some sad drama to play on TV and get cozy with a blanket on the sofa. Crying is all you wanted to do in these few weeks, having your heart broken twice in a year is no joke.
Half way through the movie you hear the sound of the door being opened. You have tears in your eyes because the story of the movie is just so sad, you didn't want Jisung to see you crying in the middle of the living room but it's inevitable.
He doesn't say anything though, walking slowly closer to you with a paper bag in his hands and pouring snacks all over the center table, opening a box of tissues and giving it to you.
“Oh, I watched this movie. It's pretty sad, right?” He asks, eyes locked on the screen.
“Yeah”, you say, whipping your tears.
Jisung gets comfortable on the sofa, crossing his arms and just stays there, watching the movie with you.
No words being said the whole time you were together, just your sniffs and the sounds from the movie being heard in the dark living room of your shared apartment. As if none of you had ever confessed being in love with one another.
Jisung thought maybe he should try and make things the same as they were before, he wants to give you the feeling of comfort you felt close to him before. Even if it hurts him, he'll try.
You fell asleep on the sofa, but woke up in your room, Jisung must have carried you there. When you finish getting ready for class, there's no one else at home and there's only a note on the table saying that Han will bring dinner later.
You thought he would bring up his confession again last night, but he just stayed with you, commenting on the movie the way you always do. It was… comfortable and you can't say you didn't like it.
You have a full schedule of tutoring today, you don't even know if you'll have time to breathe. So you take the first bus to school, stopping at the cafe to get some coffee for you and Hannah.
It's been a while since you saw Heeseung, other than seeing him in the cafe, he's taking the same class as you this semester so you eventually run into him and after a while it just stopped being awkward.
It's startling to think that you're almost graduating, it seems like it was only yesterday when you moved in with Jisung to attend university. You had so many plans, hoping that everything would go well and you'd end up dating your best friend and living your best life.
Things never go as we plan it, that's a good lesson you learned after all these years. In the end, you got Jisung to like you back, but do you still want him?
With all this turmoil of events, you almost forget that you and Jisung have to go back home to see your families, when finals start you won't have time and neither will Han with the group's new album coming out.
Things are weird between the two of you, not as normal as before you confessed but not as awful as when you were apart from each other. Even though Jisung is trying to act normal, like he never confessed to you, there's still this strange sensation that everything is out of place. Maybe it's just a matter of you two adapting to this new dynamic you have going on.
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As always, your mom and Jisung's prepare so much food for you to eat and take home too. They keep glancing suspiciously at you two the whole dinner, whispering between each other like no one's noticing how they're behaving. So the next morning when you go out with yours and Jisung's dad to buy groceries, the two ladies atack your best friend with questions.
“Did you two fight?”, your mother asks.
“You two have been so weird since the last time you came to visit”, Jisung's mom completes, “but now you can't even look at each other”
“We didn't fight”, Jisung clears his throat, looking around, making his mom sigh.
“I can see right through you”, she scolds, “you should apologize to her and ask that she forgets what you did”
“It's not something I want her to forget”, he mumbles, sulking.
“What exactly did you do?” Your mom asks, frowning.
Jisung gulps, trying to spit those difficult words out of his mouth.
“I confessed that I'm in love with her”, he mumbles, waiting for them to scold him for that but their reaction was the opposite.
“What took you so long?” His mom sighs.
He looks at them curiously but proceeds to tell them the whole story since the moment you confessed to him.
Jisung has been racking his brain for weeks now, trying to understand just how things got where they are now and the only conclusion he got is that he is the one who changed.
After looking at a future where you were nowhere to be found, Jisung realized that a life without you doesn't make any sense to him. Food lost its taste, activities didn't bring him any pleasure, coming home didn't feel the same.
Why would he want to come home to a house where you were not there? A place where you wouldn't have dinner with him and talk about your day, watch something and make little comments about the nonsensical things happening on the screen or funny curiosities about what you were watching. Jisung realized he didn't want to do those things with anyone but you, he wanted to hear you laughing of his jokes, he wanted to see you looking at him with a judgemental glare when he said something stupid, he wanted to wake up and look at your face for the rest of his life, it had to be you, it couldn't be anyone else.
It's just sad that he only realized that when it was too late.
“She rejected you?”, his mom asks and Jisung nods, biting his bottom lip.
“You're not going to give up now, right? Because of one rejection!”, your mom tells him. “We had to watch y/n’s eyes always on you for years, she didn't give up that easily so I won't accept it if you just give up on my daughter like that”, she huffs.
“What am I to do? I'm afraid I'll ruin our friendship”, he cries out.
“Don't you think she had that same fear when she confessed to you?” Jisung's mother says. “There are things in life that are worth the risk”
“You know, if you're sure you won't regret it even if the result is not what you expected, you should keep trying”, your mom says, “from what you just told us, you didn't ask her for a chance. You can't give up before asking for a chance”
He looks from your mom to his, sighing. Should he? Should he try to win you back?
The door opens and your voice is heard from the entrance, making the three of them shut up and pretend like they weren't just talking about you.
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Your schedule got full again with tutoring since you're going to stop it while you're going through your finals. The parents want you to speed things up so their children don't fall behind while you're away. That means less free time to think about your messy love life and honestly that's for the best because you're more confused than ever. So you spend most of your time at school or in your students houses, going back home late at night and going out early in the day.
Jisung misses seeing your face, when he arrives at night you're already asleep and when he wakes in the morning you're already gone. He knows it's for the best, that way you can take your time to get used to the way things are between you two now. He also needs this time to decide if he really wants to risk your friendship by asking you for a chance or if it's better for him to try and get over these feelings, however, he can't help but long for you.
Jisung knows just how hectic the last week has been with you coming home just to sleep, trying to keep up with studying and tutoring. So he asks for Minho's help to cook your favorite dish, your mom sent him the receipt saying she always cooked it for you when you were studying for the college's exam.
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After another exhausting day you arrive home, just wanting a warm bath and your bed. However, the moment you step into the house, you feel the nice familiar smell of food, making your stomach growl.
“Hey”, Han glances at you before going back to setting the table.
“Why does this smell so good?” You ask, dropping your bag on the sofa and coming closer to the table to look at whatever food has this smell.
“I was going to bring dinner but decided to cook”, he shrugs.
“Hm? How is the kitchen still intact?” You joke and he glares at you.
“Minho might or might not have been here overseeing the process so I wouldn't set the apartment on fire”, he pouts.
You nod, walking to the sink to wash your hands.
“Why didn't you invite him to have dinner with us?”, you ask.
“I did but he didn't want to stay”, he shrugs. “I think he's going to visit his cats tonight”
Well, the cats come first place to Minho, you're already used to that. So you just nod, watching Jisung finish putting the things in place while you sit down.
“How was your day?” He asks.
“Exhausting”, you say with a sigh. You have big eye bags under your eyes.
“Are you sleeping well?”
“Yeah, it's just a lot going on”, you answer truthfully.
You should have stopped tutoring some time ago, but you kept pushing it so you could have something to keep you occupied away from your break up with Jeongho and a bit to escape from the dilemma in your mind about your feelings for Jisung.
“You know”, he says slowly, trying to find the best words, “I don't want you to feel pressured by my feelings, you can even forget what I said if it's best for you”
He didn't really want you to forget, but the last thing Jisung wants is for you to feel more exhausted because of him.
“I don't know if I want to forget”, you mumble, not really thinking before speaking.
“What? What do you mean?” Jisung asks, his heartbeat getting faster, hope growing in his chest.
“I just- I don't know”, you play with your food, not wanting to look at him. “I don't know if I still like you in that way but I'm not sure if I don't like you at all anymore”, you confess.
“Wait- I”, he feels his stomach sinking in. He doesn't know what to say, this is not the time to ask you to consider giving him another chance, right? You're confused right now, he shouldn't pressure you, so he bottles everything in, struggling but restraining his feelings. “Take your time, I won't go anywhere”, he says confidently, even though he's not actually that confident.
Jisung's not sure if having hope is the right thing for his heart, he's not strong like you and knows that the moment you reject him definitely he'll fall apart. Maybe that's why he's been so afraid of asking you to give him a chance.
You nod, lost in thoughts. Maybe it would be better if he pressured you, then you would be forced to make a decision and get out of this bind you're in right now.
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Hannah started trying to convince you to go to a party. Why does she always try to drag you to a party every time you're having problems in your love life? You are afraid not even her knows the answer for that, guess that that's what friends are for.
“It's after exams, you'll need to relax”, she points out, “it's going to be good to have some fun after worrying so much about the finals”
“I just want to sleep for a whole day”, you whine, “that's how I want to relax after the exams��
You're not even sure how you found the time to meet with her, you're both between classes and she's really using your ten minute break for this.
“You need to get out there, meet new people”, she says, receiving a mean glare from you. “Not like that”, Hannah pouts, “I mean meeting new people in general, not to date”
“Well, I think I already know enough people”, you say and she sighs, crossing her arms while sulking.
“Please, it's your last party in college”, she points out, “we need to celebrate”
You take a deep breath.
“It's not my last party if I bomb on my exams”, you tell her, watching her roll her eyes and scoff.
“You're like the only person in this school who has zero chance of bombing an exam”, she says, pushing you lightly, while giving you puppy eyes. “Can we please go to the party? After we graduate we won't have time to meet each other as much and I'm going to miss you so much I might die”
You roll your eyes, chuckling.
“Why are you so dramatic?” You sigh, “okay, fine. We can go”, you give in.
“Great! Now let’s go, I'm sure we are late”, she says, making you panic looking at your watch, you could kill her right now if you were not about to miss your exam.
Han arrives and for the first time in a while you're awake, Hannah's there with you so that explains why you're still up. He greets you two, going to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
“Hey, do you want ice cream?” You ask him, pointing at the big bowl of ice cream you have in your lap.
“No, thank you”, he says, awkwardly. He missed your face so much that he takes a few more seconds to come to his senses.
“Have you heard about Ryujin's party?” Hannah asks, “I know she's friends with Hyunjin.
“I didn't”, Jisung answers, eyeing you.
“We are planning to go”, Hannah says, pretending to be clueless to his longing eyes on you.
“That's cool”, he clears his throat, “I can pick you up after the party”
“Really? That would be cool”, Hannah nods, her attention going back to you when you let out a big sigh.
“Well, I had plans for whren I finish my exams”, you sigh, “I was going to watch a list of horror movies while stuffing my face with the most unhealthy foods I can find”, you point out.
“Too bad”, Hannah mocks, chuckling at your confused face. “You already told me you are going so no take backs”
“Do I have to dress up?”, you huff, in defeat and your best friend rolls her eyes, starting to talk about all the clothes she bought that would look good on you.
Meanwhile, Jisung leans on the kitchen counter, wishing that no one notices him there so he can look at you for a minute more.
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You think you did well on your exams, each test you finished gave you a sense of relief, finally you would be out of college in a few weeks. However, that also brought you new doubts, what would you do now? You'll have to find a job and it's already time for you and Jisung to resolve the matter with your friendship, you have to decide what you're going to do.
If you decide to not give him another chance, you are going to need to move out of the apartment, that's for certain. Even if you want to move on, you can't while living with him. But if you decide to give him a chance, what then? What changes in your relationship? You never really thought about how things would work out if Jisung ever liked you back. You never even entertained the idea of having sex with him, you knew that once you let those thoughts get to you, you would be done for so you avoided them, but now those things you thought were impossible, are becoming too real and those thoughts are trying to sneak in on your mind.
Jisung is giving you space, he spends time with you but the air is almost always awkward, like he has something to say but won't spit it out.
Now that you're free from studying the whole day, you have more free time and that leads to you thinking about Jisung all the time.
The party is boring, you want to go home. You met Heeseung there with his friends and for the first time in what looks like a decade, Hannah is interested in someone so you encourage her to go do her thing and flirt with the person. She doesn't want to leave you at first but you insist and she finally goes to the dance floor, leaving you to mop silently in a corner of the room.
Heeseung and his friends keep you company and take care of you while you down your drinks, you want to relax after so much you have been going through. You just didn't expect to get dizzy and sick so easily and when you realize you're in Jisung's car, being taken home.
“Where's Hannah?” You ask, startling Jisung.
"Hyunjin is at the party, he's going to take her home later”, he answers, paying attention back to the road.
“Who told you to come?” You don't remember calling him, but to be fair you also don't remember when you stopped being aware of what was happening around you.
“I was actually calling you to check if everything was okay”, he says, “so Heeseung answered and asked me to pick you up”
Jisung actually called to know if you were enjoying the party, imagine his surprise when a man picked up. He froze at the moment, gathering courage to speak and ask him who he was and why he was picking up a call on your phone but before he could get out of his own head and ask, Heeseung was already explaining the situation.
You're so dizzy you can't even keep standing, the whole trip from the car to the apartment is just a blur. You were in the passenger seat, then in the elevator, then running to the bathroom as soon as you set foot into the house.
As you're throwing up everything you ate the whole day, you hear the hurried steps from Jisung. He puts a glass of water in the bathroom sink, kneeling on the ground right next to you. Jisung gathers every loose strand of your hair, holding it away from your face while he looks around, trying not to stare at your pathetic scene.
“It's been a while since we have been in this situation”, you point out, reaching for the glass of water, the nasty taste in your mouth making you wrinkle your nose in disgust.
“I guess you're right”, he answers. “What about a cold shower to sober up?” He jokes, tying your hair in a ponytail now that your head is still.
“No, thank you”, you watch him get up. “I think I'm already sober enough, but I'll accept a warm bath”
Jisung nods, walking to the shower and turning on the hot water to fill the bathtub.
“Are you going to be okay?” He asks, analyzing you to make sure you can take care of yourself. “You're not going to choke on your own vomit, right?” He asks, pretending to be disgusted.
“Shut up”, you tell him, rolling your eyes.
“I'll wait outside, call me if you need help”
You nod, does he think you're a child that can't take a bath? Even if you're a bit drunk, you can still function normally.
You scoff watching him leave the bathroom and close the door, trying to ignore the warmth growing on your cheeks from the simple mention of him helping you while you take a bath.
After a long time under the hot water, you finish your bath and brush your teeth, getting ready for bed, a lot less intoxicated now.
You open the door carefully, you don't have any clothes to change so you're wrapped in a towel and the last thing you need is Han catching you like that again.
Surprisingly, there's a chair by the door’s side with Jisung's clothes on top of it, a shirt and sweatpants but there's no sign of the man. So you just grab the clothes and change in the bathroom.
When you enter your room, Jisung is there, making the bed. He glances at you, he saw you in his clothes a thousand times before but it seems so different at that moment, he can't help but feel his cheeks and ears burn.
Jisung avoids looking at you, he's embarrassed about his reaction, so he keeps making the bed while talking to you.
“I didn't want to go through your wardrobe, so I left my clothes there”, he clears his throat, “I'm glad it fit”
“Of course if fit”, you chuckles. “Jisung I lost count of how many times I borrowed your clothes”
“Yeah, but-”, he mumbles, stopping himself mid sentence, giving up on what he wants to say while shaking his head but you're not having it this time, you're tired of him bottling up the things he wants to say.
“But what?” You ask.
“It's nothing”, he sighs, still not looking at you.
You walk to him, putting your hand on his shoulder to pull him, making him turn around.
“But what, Jisung?” You ask again, forcing him to look at him, noticing his red cheeks for the first time in this conversation.
“It's different now”, he says, “I feel different about you and it's nice seeing you dressed in my clothes”, he shrugs everything at once.
“Ah…” you take a step back, you didn't stop to think about that.
“Can you give me a chance?” He asks suddenly, taking you out of your thoughts, making you look at him with a frown in your face and he would be lying if he said that reaction didn't scare him, but he already gathered all his courage, he can't back down now.
“What?” You ask, confused.
“Let me prove to you why you should stay with me”, he pleads, reaching for your hands and you actually let him take them into his own. “If you fell out of love with me give me a chance to make you fall in love with me again and if you still like me but is not sure about our relationship let me show you that we are worth giving a try”
He spoke slowly this time, making sure you understood every word he said so that if you reject him, he will know that it's not a misunderstanding, you really don't want his love. But if you accept his try, he wants you to know what his purpose is.
You stare at him for a few moments, the silence growing scarier for Jisung but for you it's like time stopped. His eyes, locked on yours, full of hope making you nervous but at the same time, your heart is beating fast. Since the first sentence he spoke, the answer couldn't be other than yes.
Not yes to being in a relationship with him, you still have a lot of doubts but the thought of him trying to win you over is just enough to make your heart flutter and the butterflies on your stomach move faster.
“Do it”, you tell him, looking deeply into his eyes, “prove to me why I should give you a second chance”, you tell him and the relief that washes over his eyes makes it seem like you just told him he is free from an incurable disease.
“Are you sure?” He asks, afraid you'll change your mind but you nod. The first thing you feel is his hard chest against yours, he wraps his arms around your waist and spins you around.
“I'll show you that we are meant to be together”, he says, hugging you tightly and kissing the top of your head.
The mission to make y/n fall in love with Jisung again has officially started.
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A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing. Also, you can buy me a coffee.
Taglist(closed): in red are people I couldn't tag.
@hhwangsmoon @weareapackofstrays @shycreationdreamland @adestayskz @skizmee @ca11me3mily @realviviboss @sofix-hc7 @starsandrqindrops @itshannjisung @redstayrosie @mae-is-cute98 @blithevix @astro-doll-the-star @vlctorriaa @captainchrisstan @rag-iii @notastraykid @jisunghannie @applepie-macaroon @stayingdelulu @sundayysunshine @kidrauhlschik @wolfennracha @meloncremesoda @hanschimpmunk @realrintaro @teejisung @maexc @gyustarzzi @ivaneedssleep @chaeryred @daemon-bunny @broken-glowsticks @ch4nniebang @sleepyleeji @seukijeuxq @luvbangchan @lovesunshinefelix @hyunjins-dimples @castielsfrillywhiteknickers @armystaytiny @literallyjustwanttoread @jisunghannie @jungkookies1002 @diorggukie @channieandhisgoonsquad @mamabymychem @ladylexis @bmnyy
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hyunniesgirl · 22 days
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I'm so happy you're feeling so deeply about my story, I really am 🥺 thank you so much for giving such amazing feedback and I hope I can keep up making you feel so many different things while reading my work ❤️
Another Love | Part 4
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Words count: 6,639
Warnings for this chapter: angst(as usual)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
A/N: I'm sorry it took me a bit longer to write this part, I'm just in a weird place right now. I'm doubting a lot about my skills as a writer and that leads me to believe everything I write sucks so this was a bit harder to write, I hope you all like it though.
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Jisung has been dreaming about you lately. Going back to every little memory he has with you, watching all the signs you gave him while he was oblivious to you, to your feelings.
It's been almost a week since Han ended things with Lia. The things she said are still stuck in his head, he can't be in love with you. Not after rejecting you. Not after everything you went through to get over him. Not now, when you're happy with someone else.
Things are going back to the way they were before, except that now your roles are reversed, he's the one hanging on your every word and movement, all the little details about you look fascinating to him. He's never felt this way before.
You're not avoiding him anymore. Things fell into place slowly, you started having dinner together again, talking about your day. Then you got back to making coffee for him in the morning, waking him up with the nice scent so he wouldn't be too grumpy woking up so early.
He has a mission now: to stop these strange thoughts he's having. Even if he is indeed feeling this way about you, he lost his chance. He knows he did. Right now, he wants to focus on being a good friend to you, the same as he was before the confession happened.
Jisung just didn't expect how he would feel seeing you with Jeongho again. You invited all your friends to dinner in a nice restaurant, to officially introduce your boyfriend to everyone.
This must be how you felt seeing him with all his previous partners, you must have felt this ache in your chest, as if someone was holding your heart and squeezing it to their heart's content.
You look pretty, hair tied in a ponytail and a dress he never saw before, maybe it's a gift from your boyfriend, he wouldn't know. He avoids talking about your relationship, too selfish to handle the same pain you did for so many years.
Your friendship is getting back to what it was, even though he screwed up really badly, you were the bigger person and forgave him, so he has no right feeling this way about you.
Jisung knows it would be better for you and for him if you didn't come back to the apartment but he's too greedy, he wants you close to him.
This whole problem began because he was greedy, afterall. He didn't want to stay away from you, then he hurt you again and again trying to fix things. Now he just wants to make things right, he just wants you to be happy.
You're smiling so brightly it actually makes his heart skip a beat. He sips from his drink, trying to calm his heart a bit and watch as the others try to make small talk.
“So how did you meet y/n?” Chan asks Jeongho.
“I had the biggest crush on her in middle school but she mercilessly rejected me”, Jeongho answers, looking at you and smiling playfully.
“I thought he had lost a bet or something”, you defend yourself.
“Why would you think that?” Han asks, surprised and you stare at him for a second before shrugging. Of course Jisung was not the only reason for you to reject Jeongho, you were just learning about your feelings at that time. You just couldn't get your head around why someone older and handsome like Jeongho would want to have anything to do with you.
“Y/N was one of the prettiest girls in our school”, Han comments, not understanding why you would feel like that.
He always thought you were pretty, that's why he always complimented you and gave you clothes saying they would look good on you.
“I think teenagers are just insecure. I guess it's part of growing up”, you sip from your wine glass.
Jisung never thought you were insecure about anything by the way you carried yourself with your head high, always so sure about everything you put your mind into. Maybe there's too much he doesn't know about you.
The rest of the dinner goes well, your friends are being nice and trying to make Jeongho comfortable, you're happy about it. Everything seems to be falling into place with your best friend by your side being his normal self and your boyfriend, the guy you're falling in love with being just perfect. Your heart is finally healing, you're moving on, things are working out. You couldn't wish for anything else, you just want things to stay like this forever.
“Are you happy?” Jisung asks when you're outside the restaurant, Jeongho stepped out to take a call from work and left you and your friends alone. One by one they called it a night, saying their goodbyes and leaving you and Han alone.
You stare at him for a moment before answering.
“Yes, I am”, you're not sure why he wants to know and not even sure why you're thinking so much before answering.
Jisung smiles, a sincere and bright smile.
“I'm glad”, he says, “I want you to be happy”
You are a bit taken aback, you didn't expect him to react this way, he almost sounds like a grown up now.
“Thanks, I-”
“I'm sorry I kept you waiting”, Jeongho's voice cuts you out. He slides his arm over your shoulders pulling you closer.
“I should get going”, Jisung says, turning his gaze away from you and your boyfriend.
“Aren't you going home?” You ask and he shakes his head, he's not sure if he can stay at the same place with you two for much longer. “Oh, are you going to Lia's?”
There's not a bit of discomfort in your face, so he just nods. He's not sure if now is the best moment to tell you about his situation with Lia.
“Okay, see you tomorrow then”, you hesitate, not sure if it's appropriate, but you try not thinking too much, throwing your arms around him, squeezing him into a hug. You would never think twice about hugging him before your confession, there's no need for you to make it awkward now.
You're trying to get things back to the way they were and Jisung notices that, he's grateful. So the only thing he can do is wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you back.
Jisung didn't want to lie, but he's afraid it may be uncomfortable to you if he says he's not with Lia anymore. And he's afraid you'll be able to see right through him, see that he is giving in to the strange feelings he's trying so hard to avoid.
He ends up sleeping on Chan's couch, if he could call that ‘sleeping’. Everytime he closes his eyes, you show up in his mind, smiling, making a joke, just looking at him. Everytime he finally managed to fall asleep, you would be there, together with your boyfriend, giggling and kissing him while Jisung just watched. He would wake up sweating and stare at the ceiling for at least ten minutes before trying to sleep again.
>><<
After pondering what he wanted to do from now on, Jisung decided he should have some closure with Lia. He didn't like the way things ended with her, he really liked her until a certain point and above all, she is a good person. Even though he didn't want to, he ended up hurting her and he should apologize for that.
Awkward. That's the best word to explain the situation that Jisung finds himself in right now. Lia is on the other side of the table, glaring at him like she could kill him with the power of her mind.
“What is it that you want?” She asks, coldly.
He clears his throat, trying to gather some courage.
“I want to apologize”, he says, “I shouldn't have lead you on even though I already knew something was not right”, sighing he looks at her, biting his lower lip, “I'm just… confused, I ended up hurting you in the middle of this mess and I'm really sorry”
Lia looks at his eyes, staring deeply. She can feel his sincerity but she's not sure if only an apology is enough to make up for the pain he caused. She's not crazy, she knows people can't control how they feel most of the time. Maybe if he just admits he likes you, she'll feel at ease.
“So, have you finally accepted that you're in love with y/n?”
Jisung thinks for a bit, trying to put what he is feeling into words.
“I don't know if love is the right word”, he says, fidgeting with his fingers, “but I'm feeling some weird things around her, when she smiles or laughs, or even when she's doing nothing”, he covers his mouth with his hand in a slap, wide eyes, realizing he is talking about being in love with someone else with the girl that likes him.
Lia chuckles.
“It's alright, I'm pretty sure that's the definition of love though”, she sighs looking at Jisung. “Maybe you never felt that before”
It's not easy for her to be kind and comprehensive at the moment, but it's not like being mean is going to make him like her back. She's not actually even sure if she wants that anymore. Maybe her heart just accepted things ended, maybe she was already preparing herself for this since Han started acting differently, but the pain is not as great as she thought it would be. Maybe seeing him naively admitting his feelings made her have some sympathy for the mess he made of his relationship with you, maybe she didn't like him as much as she thought.
Since the beginning, there were too many maybes in this relationship. Lia knows she deserves better, she deserves someone who's sure about her, no maybes.
“I think I can forgive you, yeah”, she chuckles seeing Jisungs shocked face, “not now, obviously”, with a sigh, she looks deeply into his eyes, “you were always great to me before things started going wrong and I know you're not a bad person”, she stands up, “I'm actually feeling bad for you, with the mess you created I have no idea how you're going to fix it, but I'll cheer for you”, she puts her hand in his shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance. Lia leaves Jisung there, stuck in his head once more. At least that is something they both have in common, because he sure doesn't know how he's going to keep these strange feelings under control while fixing his relationship with you.
>><<
If Jisung had to rate his acting skills, he would be proud to say he deserves an award. He's succeeding at pretending not to be in love with you while maintaining a healthy friendship.
It's almost the same as it was before, except Jisung has to watch his every move. He's trying to act normal while trying to crush the onslaught of feelings in his chest everytime you laugh at one of his jokes, or when you just talk about your very normal day.
You both do your things during the day, have dinner together and talk or watch something before sleeping, that's your routine when Jeongho is not visiting.
You've been watching your phone lately, more than usual, is there something wrong? He's sure you're just waiting for Jeongho's call. Jisung has lost count of how many nights he spent listening to your laughs on the phone with your boyfriend, wishing it was him making you happy like that.
It's true, he's struggling. He's not sure how you managed to like him for so long without freaking out, because he's about to collapse and it's been just about a month since he came to terms with his feelings.
He feels bad just thinking about how much you must have suffered because of him, before and after your confession. Guilt is eating him alive, along with heartbreak.
He's been watching you for a while now, you are washing the dishes while talking about these kids you tutor and how smart they are, he's staring at you with heart eyes—you're not seeing—while he dries the dishes.
“I'm sure they can only learn so fast because it's you teaching them”, Jisung says.
You giggle to his compliment, bumping a shoulder into his.
“Should we watch a movie before going to bed?” You ask, drying your hands on your apron.
“I'm actually kinda sleepy”, Jisung laughs, he can only keep his feeling bottled for so long, he doesn't want to get careless and blurt out everything. He knows that if he gets too comfortable he'll feel at ease and you were always too good at making him tell you what's on his mind.
“Let's do it another time then”, you shrug, taking your phone out of your pocket and smiling when the screen brightens with Jeongho's name.
Han feels his chest tighten, he wants to throw up, he wants to cry, he wants to plead for you to not like someone else. But he can't do any of those things, not when you're so happy. So he won't be selfish, he'll think about you first and keep his distance.
>><<
It's been almost a month since the last time you saw Jeongho. He was not able to come by on the usual weekends because the company he works for is opening a new branch somewhere and he is involved in the project.
He's been busy, texting less and not even calling, so you start getting insecure. What if he's getting cold feet about your relationship? Maybe he met someone more interesting who's near him.
No. Jeongho wouldn't be like that. He would break up if he didn't like you anymore, you know him enough to know that.
When he calls saying he's coming to see you, you feel excited once again. You knew you were mistaken, it's not right to presume the worst just because he's a bit more busy. It must be nothing.
You just can't shake the feeling that you were going through the calm before the storm and now the bad weather is finally coming.
He's waiting for you at the restaurant of the hotel he's staying in, Jeongho is fidgeting with his fingers nervously, looking around until his eyes land on you. You smile at him, waving at him but he doesn't smile back.
“Hey”, you say, dropping your bag on the chair and sitting, “is there something wrong?”
“I received a promotion”, he says suddenly, he doesn't look happy about it.
“That's great”, you smile, taking his hand into yours to hold it, not really understanding his reaction.
He stares at your hands together, taking a deep breath before speaking again.
“Actually, the company wants me to go to Europe”, Jeongho says, fidgeting with his hands.
“Oh”, you frown, “for how long?”
“They are not sure about the exact period, but-”, he clears his throat, looking around, “they are projecting it to be between five and eight years”, he replies, feeling his breathing quickening.
“They want you to move there?” You repeat it to yourself, trying to absorb the information.
“They are trying to make an entry in the European market, so a team is needed there to develop the new branch”
“Okay, yeah”, you feel dizzy, “we can work with that, hm, I can- we can visit each other”, you nod, trying to organize your thoughts.
“Y/N-”, Jeongho starts, his voice fails and he stops for a moment before continuing. “Long distance works right now because we are a 2 hour flight away from each other, not 12 hours”
“What are you saying?” You feel all the air in your lungs escape, knowing exactly what he means but choosing not to believe it.
“I don't think we can keep doing this, I'm not sure our relationship is going to survive and-”, he sighs, running his hand through his hair, “I won't ask you to come with me”
“Why not? Why won't you ask me?” You plead, feeling tears brimming in your eyes. It's not logical what you're asking of him, but you don't want to hurt anymore, not again.
“How could I? I can't make you leave your whole life here, your family, your friends or college to go to a country where you know no one but me”, he explains, “I’ll be in charge of a large project, I'll have to stay late probably everyday and you're going to stay alone, how could I do that to you?”
“Don't you think that's for me to decide?” You ask, feeling your hands shaking. You put them in between your legs, trying not to show him the sight of your broken heart.
“I can't- I can't carry that guilt with me”, he says, “not knowing how happy you are here, if you go with me and things end up not working out I could never forgive myself”
“What if things work out? What if we are happy together forever? Did you consider it for a moment?” You ask, he's not looking at you. Jeongho is trying to hold his own tears, trying to be strong for you, “I guess this relationship is not worth you considering it”, you stand up, grabbing your bag.
He lifts his eyes to look at him, finding your quivering lips and the tears flooding from your eyes.
“Well, good luck then”, you tell him, turning around and walking out.
After walking far enough from the hotel, you let yourself crouch on the floor, scaring the people walking by. You are sobbing, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes, but they keep coming continuously.
You stand up again, walking, what are you supposed to do now? When are things going to finally get better for you? Since you confessed to Jisung things got worse over and over, you should have never told him about your feelings, maybe your life would have stayed the same.
The hurt you felt seeing him with other people was a pain you were already used to, but this? This is excruciating, it's the same all over again, the same as when Jisung rejected you. Will you ever feel complete again?
It's 3 a.m, Jisung went to the studio to work for a bit and to try to forget about everything else. His phone buzzes in his pocket, when he looks at the screen, your name is there. He doesn't think twice about answering, just to find your drunk voice on the other side of the call. He can't understand a thing you're saying just that you'll share your location with him.
He grabs the keys to his car, running to the parking lot, he drives for about thirty minutes until arriving where you are. The bar is empty, there are only employees cleaning and you're laying on the counter, unconscious.
“It's been a while since we closed, but we let her stay inside since it looks like she went through something”, the bartender tells Han when he gets closer.
“Thank you”, Jisung says, before trying to wake you up with no success. He sighs, looking around and thinking about what to do.
He slides one of your arms around his neck, putting one of his hands behind your back for support and the other underneath your knees, lifting you up.
Your face is puffy, he can see it now that he's looking so closely, you probably cried a lot but what would make you cry like that?
Jisung glances at you a few times during the ride home. You groan, whining something in your sleep, even crying a bit. That makes him even more worried.
He repeats the process of picking you up when he parks in front of your apartment, carrying you inside. You whimper all the way to the apartment, he knows you can wake up at any moment.
Han sits you on your bed, taking your coat off and helping you lay down, covering you with a blanket after taking off your shoes. Your makeup is all smeared, so he picks a wet tissue and starts rubbing your face, trying to take off everything he can.
You open your eyes slowly, seeing Jisung with a focused expression while whipping your face.
“What are you doing?” You ask, making him jump. He was so concentrated he didn't even see you waking up.
“I was trying to take your makeup off”, he says, “it's not good for you to sleep with it on your face”
“How did I come home?” You look around, stumbling a bit over your words.
“You don't remember calling me?” He asks and you shake your head. “I went to the bar to pick you up”
Jisung is still whipping your face while he talks, that's when you remember why you were in the bar in the first place and tears run out of your eyes again.
“What happened? Why are you crying like this?” He asks worriedly, helping you sit on the bed.
“I don't- everything goes wrong for me”, you say, sobbing. “Maybe I'm the problem”
Jisung sighs, pulling you into a hug and holding you tightly, feeling your tears soak his shirt. He's worried and doesn't know what to do, should he call Hannah? Or Jeongho? Jisung knows you went to meet with him earlier… wait, did that guy do this to you?
After you stop sobbing for a while, Jisung realizes you fell asleep in his embrace. He lies you on the bed, covering you with the blanket once more. He leaves a glass of water and some hangover medicine on your nightstand so you can take in the morning and prepares his bed on the floor.
You wake up to the bright sunlight coming from the window, your head hurts like crazy and you're so thirsty it seems like a thousand years since you last drank something.
You take the hangover medicine and the water, while sitting down, still a bit dizzy. When your feet touch the floor, it's not the hard ground they meet but something soft. Why is Jisung sleeping by your bedside?
He doesn't look a bit comfortable, although he seems fast asleep. You start poking him, trying to make him wake up, causing your friend to jump and hold your arm.
“Are you alright?” He asks, eyes widened.
You frown at the sight, it's been a while since you last saw Jisung this startled.
“Yeah”, you answer and he can finally let out the breath he didn't even notice was being held. “Why are you sleeping on the floor?”
He looks around for a bit as if he didn't understand why you were asking such a thing.
“Oh, I- hm- I was afraid you would need something so I stayed here just in case”, he tells you and you nod.
It's not an uncommon occurrence for you two to do this kind of thing, even when you were living with your parents. When one of you got sick, it was a tradition to stay by each other's side until the other felt better.
When you moved in with him, naturally, your drinking habits grew since you didn't have to worry about your parents anymore. Jisung was responsible for taking care of you when you came home wasted after partying with Hannah or even when you drunk with him and the boys, he made sure to stay sober enough to still be able to take you home and help you get to your room safely.
“Oh”, you answer, “thank you”
He kept staring at you, waiting for something you're not sure what is.
“Do you want to talk about the reason you got wasted last night?” He asks, awkwardly and the pain comes back all at once.
It was so nice, the period of numbness after waking up from a deep sleep, you wish you could keep feeling that way. Now, your hands are trembling again, just like last night, tears are brimming in your eyes and your lips are quivering. It's obvious to Jisung, you're trying not to cry.
He gets up, collecting the things he used to sleep, without looking at you, he doesn't want to make you any more uncomfortable.
“We don't have to talk about it”, he says, putting the blanket and pillow back in your wardrobe. “Do you want me to call Hannah?” He asks and you stare at him for a moment, nodding to his question, not really wanting to look at your phone.
You're scared Jeongho contacted you, you don't want to see him. But more than anything, you're scared he didn't try talking to you at all, because that means everything is really over.
It's pathetic, you know that break ups happen. But Jeongho was the first guy to ever make you feel the closest to what you ever felt for Jisung, no other could do that and you're scared no one ever will.
Hannah gets to your place about an hour after Jisung called her. She's huffing, hair messed up and puffy face.
“Were you sleeping?” You ask her and she takes a deep breath, seeing that you're okay.
“I'm going to kill that guy”, she yells out of the door to your room, “he made it seems like you were dying or something”
“If I was dying I'm pretty sure he would have taken me to the hospital”, you point out.
Hannah rolls her eyes, dropping her bag on the floor. Closing the door, she walks slowly to sit on your bed, she can clearly see that you cried a lot.
“So, did something happen?” She asks, you avoid her gaze, looking at anything but her face. You find your fingers much more interesting than any part of this conversation, actually. So you pay attention to them, playing on your lap.
“It's nothing”, you answer.
Hannah sighs, if you don't want to talk about it, it means it's bad.
“We don't have to talk about it right now”, she stretches her hand, taking yours and squeezing it. “But you will have to talk about it eventually”
It's your time to sigh now, she's right, you know that, but talking about it makes it real and you don't want it to be real.
“Jeongho broke up with me”, you rip the bandaid all at once.
Hannah gasps, she's speechless. How can this be? She thought he was head over heels for you, so why?
“His company is sending him to Europe and he doesn't want to do long distance”, you feel the tears brimming into your eyes again, voice cracking, “or take me with him”
It's the first time in her life Hannah doesn't know what to say. Your love life is such a mess, worse than hers, so she doesn't have any advice or any comfort to give you.
“Honey, I…”, she tries, but what is she supposed to say? ‘I am sorry?’, that's not it, ‘he is an asshole?’ nothing of the sort.
Looking from outside the situation, Jeongho is being logical, they still are in their honeymoon phase of the relationship, everything is perfect at that time. For most people, problems start to arise after some time. However, when you're in love, you don't want logical outputs, you want what your heart wants.
Hannah is saved by a knock on the door. Han's head pops inside the room and he observes for a moment trying to assess the situation.
“I bought some things you like”, he says, “I'll be going out, so you have the apartment all to yourselves”
He wants you to feel comfortable right now, he doesn't know exactly what happened but you're sad. Jisung knows just letting you enjoy your afternoon with Hannah in the apartment is not going to make things better for whatever is making you feel so down, but he knows you are going to feel livelier after some time with Hannah.
He goes out with Hyunjin, who's buying a present for his mother. It's hot, so if his friend didn't ask very nicely he wouldn't have accepted to go to the mall, since they have to wear hoods and masks. The fact that you're home, crying your eyes out for something he has no clue about, made him want to go out too. It hurts seeing you sad and it's even worse because he can't do anything about it, not when he doesn't know what's happening.
They are looking at bags, maybe he should get you something? You are not really a materialistic person, he's not sure if giving you an expensive present is going to help at all, maybe he should get you that webtoon print you've been talking about, they should definitely have it in the bookstore next door.
When Jisung turns around to tell Hyunjin they should stop at the bookstore, he sees Jeongho. He's looking at bags too, trying to figure out which one he should choose.
Is he giving you a gift too? Maybe he did something and you fought, that's why you were crying so much. Even remembering the way you cried as soon as you woke up makes his heart ache.
Jisung walks to Jeongho, not sure how to initiate a conversation but he feels like he should try and help in some way.
“Hey”, he says, watching Jeongho turn around and look at him.
“Jisung, how are you doing?” He asks, arms crossed in front of chest.
“Fine, are you choosing a gift for y/n?” He asks, awkwardly, “I don't think she likes purple”, he points out observing the bags Jeongho was looking at.
“It's actually for my mother”, he clears his throat, frowning, “didn't y/n tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Jisung asks, confused and Jeongho nods.
“So she didn't”, he sighs, “we broke up”, he struggles to say it.
Jisung's eyes dart directly to Jeongho's face, now he can see the eyebags on his face and how tired he looks.
“Why?” Jisung panics, you shouldn't have to go through another heartbreak.
“I don't think it's something you should know about, if she didn't tell you”, Jeongho shrugs.
“Well, can't you fix it? Whatever it is that is wrong?” He asks, carefully.
Jeongho sighs, he wishes there was something he could do about it, but he's a coward who's too afraid of taking such a big step in the beginning of a relationship.
“I’m afraid I can't”, he says, “take care of her”
Jisung is speechless, he has no idea what to do, so he just watches as Jeongho chooses a gift and walks tiredly out of the store.
Jisung arrives after killing some time outside, he was out for almost the entire day and hopes that you could enjoy a bit of your day with Hannah. He doesn't know if he should bring up his encounter with Jeongho or if he should talk about what your, now ex, boyfriend told him.
He shouldn't mention it, if you didn't tell him about it, it's because you're not ready for you to know and he gets that. Han is not sure about what he's feeling. It hurts his heart to see you in so much pain but he doesn't want to overstep the boundaries you're setting.
So when he enters the house, he sees you and Hannah watching a movie, he greets you both and goes to his room. You clearly cried more since he left and he won't be able to stay in your presence without trying to comfort you.
>><<
Things are difficult for you at the moment. Even though your love for Jeongho never got to its full potential, it's still love. You're mourning what you could have had with him had things been different, you wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep anymore, feeling your chest hurting and remembering it's over.
It all sank in when he didn't contact you anymore, you're sure he's hurting too but you had hoped that you two could find a solution around this cruel puzzle.
“Should we go out?” Hannah asks while you're watching a drama, burying your sorrows in ice cream.
“I'm not really in the mood”, you say. You haven't cried for some time now, you're too tired, maybe your tears finally dried up.
“I know you don't feel like it”, Hannah sighs, looking at your apathetic face, worriedly, “but I think you should have some fresh air, you have been stuck in this apartment for a week now, it's not healthy”
You sigh, she's right, you know she is, but you can't really find the strength to doll up and go out.
“We don't have to go to a party or anything crowded”, she says, seeing the resigned look on your face. “We can just go to a cafe or something, anything”, she pleads.
You nod, sighing in defeat, maybe a walk can really lift your mood a bit.
Hannah jumps out of the sofa, taking the ice cream from your hands. She talks excitedly about what kind of things you two can do but can't really follow what she's saying, your head is still numb.
You walk around for a bit, looking at clothes in the stores nearby, doing just about anything to think of anything but your break up.
It's already night when you two decide to eat something, there's this restaurant that's kinda hidden so there's not many people eating when you arrive. It's not the first time you eat there, it's a nice and cozy place so you come by when you're needing a little bit of peace.
“Y/N?” You hear a familiar voice calling you, making you turn around to find Lia. She's smiling, there's a man accompanying her. “It's been a while”, she says after telling the man to look for a place for them to sit.
“Hey, yeah it does”, you smile politely. Lia can see the huge eyebags you have and the wide eyes your friend has looking at her.
“Are you alright?” She asks, noticing you barely touched your food.
“Yeah”, you lie, “what about you?” You ask, eyeing the guy who's now looking at his phone while waiting for Lia.
“I'm okay”, she smiles shyly, “it's not easy, you know? But I'm trying to move on, meet new people”
You frown, not really understanding what she's talking about.
“I hope we can still be on friendly terms even though Jisung and I are over”, Lia says, regrets immediately when she sees your eyes widen. He didn't tell you. Shit.
“I didn't know you guys were not together anymore”, Hannah is the one to talk, stealing Lia's attention from your shocked face.
“Yeah, hm, it's been a while actually. I thought he would have already told you everything by now”, she says apologetically. “Well, Han Jisung, let's say that now we are even”, she thinks.
“I should probably go!” Lia points out to the man who's staring impatiently. She waves goodbye to you and walks towards him, afraid she'll tell you something more she's not supposed to.
You find yourself in the dark, seated at the sofa, arms crossed in front of your chest. You can't believe you had to hear from someone other than Jisung about his relationship status. You're mad at him, you were making an effort so things could go back to the way they were so why isn't he acting like he wants that too?
Before, he would tell you everything about his romantic endeavors and even though it hurted, you felt special, knowing every little thing about him. Now, you feel like you know nothing, he's spending less time with you and every time you try doing anything just the two of you, he avoids it like you would jump his bones or something if you stay alone with him for more than two hours.
You may have not gotten over him completely, but you're fine now and for years you could behave yourself, so you're not sure why he's acting like that.
You hear the door being open, Han’s voice comes out in a discussion, he's on the phone. He walks in, putting his phone in his pocket while trying to find his way in the dark. He jumps at the sight of you on the sofa, staring at him with a scowl.
“Jesus christ, y/n”, he says, putting his hand above his heart, “what the hell are you doing there in the dark?”
He turns on the light, turning back at you. You're still staring at him in silence.
“Why didn't you tell me you and Lia are not together anymore?” You stand up, waiting for his answer.
“W-what?” His standing falters and he takes a step back. “How did you know?”
“Clearly I didn't find out from my best friend”, you scoff. “Did you think I would try making a move on you if you are single?”
Jisung frowns, how the hell did you get to that conclusion?
“No, I-”
“I'm sure you already figured Jeongho and I broke up”, you point out, “but you rejected me, I'm over that already”
“I can see why you would think that”, Jisung says carefully, “considering the way I acted when you confessed, but it's not that, I can assure you”
“I'm trying to have a normal relationship with you, you know, but you're just not the same. You don't spend time with me anymore, you don't talk to me about what's on your mind, the only thing I can think is that you're scared of me”
“I'm sorry I made you feel that way, I'm trying to act normally too, it's just-” Jisung cuts himself off, not sure what to say. At the same time he doesn't know what to say to make you stop thinking like that, he's not sure things will get any better if he tells you the truth.
“What's it? Just tell me so I can fix it, please I-”
“I'm in love with you”, he blurts out, hand instantly going to his chest and clenching the place above his heart. “I'm so in love with you it hurts”
You stumble back, almost falling. Did you hear it right?
“I don't think I understand”, you say, frowning, trying to make sense of his words.
“I feel terrible, I rejected you and made you suffer just for me to feel like this now?” He scoffs, “I'm sorry I made you think you are the problem again, but you're not, I am. I'm the one who can't stay close to you because I'm afraid I'll do something that will ruin our friendship”
You get up, trying to function properly after this sudden confession. Never, in your wildest dreams did you think there would come a day when Jisung would actually love you in the way you most desperately once wanted. You fantasized about it for years but you never really thought it would happen for real.
“I can't do this right now”, you say to him, seeing his shoulders slump. The sad look in your face is what he most feared. Jisung didn't expect you to still like him, but it would be a lie to say he didn't have any hope of you telling him he still has a chance.
“I don't expect you to like me back”, he says, voice cracking a bit when he tries to say the words he least want to, “I just don't want you to think I'm avoiding you because of you, it's because of me”
You nod slowly, still not fully recovered from the shock. You walk past him, not saying anything anymore, just entering your room and closing the door silently. This was definitely unexpected.
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A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing. Also, you can buy me a coffee.
Taglist(closed):
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hyunniesgirl · 22 days
Text
Not Jeongho being a casualty 😭😭😭
Another Love | part 3
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Words count: 5,082
Warnings: do I even have to warn you guys about angst at this point?
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
A/N: this is not proofread because I'm sleepy, tomorrow I'll probably come back and fix the things that should be fixed.
I'm planning two or three more parts for this fic.
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Seungmin got home after work and awkwardly told you he found a new roommate, it's a friend from his highschool time.
“That's great”, you tell him, even though you're worried, because that means you have to go back home and you just don't know if you're ready yet.
“I asked him for two weeks, so I could settle everything, so take your time”, he says and you nod.
That is a good amount of time, Jeongho is coming to see you in two days and you're really looking forward to seeing him. You find yourself already missing the man even though it's barely two weeks since you last saw him last.
Things with Jeongho are going slowly but great, he's sweet and makes sure you're comfortable with every advance he makes. You can't deny, being the object of affection of such a handsome and interesting person is flattering.
“Do you wanna go out before I move out? We can go watch a movie or eat something nice, it's on me”, you ask while watching him walk to his room.
“That would be nice, I'll check my schedule and we can set the date”, he tells you before closing the door to his bedroom.
You're so grateful to Seungmin, if it wasn't for him you would have been forced to stay living with Jisung after he rejected you, or you would have had to rent a crap apartment on short notice so you could have a place to stay without bothering anyone.
Speaking of the devil, it's the first time in a few days you're thinking about Jisung and you realize how relieved you are. It makes you believe things are finally looking up for you.
Living in Japan, Jeongho can only come to see you on weekends when he's not working. So you basically spend two weekends a month with him, it's not perfect but at the same time you two decided to take things slowly so you're taking your time to actually develop your feelings for him. What doesn't take very long.
You're not sure if it's because you were deprived of an actual romantic relationship for quite some time or if it happens to be like that because Jeongho is such a warm person to be around, but you just know you like him.
You are at the airport, waiting for him to arrive. When people start coming out of the gate, you tiptoe trying to find him in the crowd.
He's doing the same as you, but being taller it's not so difficult for him to find you. You jump and wave with your arms even though you know he already saw you, but you're just too excited to see him.
“And here I thought it would be difficult finding you”, he stops in front of you while you throw your arms around his neck and squeeze him into your embrace.
“I missed you”, you tell him. He chuckles, bringing his hands up and cupping your face, lightly brushing his lips on yours before landing the most sweet kiss.
“I missed you too”, he tells you, connecting your foreheads. You smile brightly, feeling warm.
You really like Jeongho, and that makes you wonder how your life would have been if you had said yes to him in middle school.
“Let's go”, you say, intertwining you fingers with him, “you have to rest because I have lots of fun planned for us”
He nods, paying attention to every word you say while you tell him some of the things you want to do during the weekend.
You stay in his hotel since you can't take him to sleep on Seungmin's sofa. You two ask for room service and talk about everything—his life in Japan, his work, your major, your tutoring and how things are going now that you will have to go back to live with Jisung.
“How are you feeling about that?” He asks, while you eat.
“Honestly, I don't know”, you tell him. “But I'm pretty confident, things are different now, I even have a hot boyfriend”, you joke, making him choke on his food.
“I don't remember being asked out”, he says, raising one eyebrow.
“Well, I thought it was a giving”, you shrug, biting on your burger, “since you're down bad for me”
He laughs out loud, throwing his head back.
“I'm not saying you're wrong, but you could be a little more humble”, he tells you, grabbing a napkin and whipping the ketchup off of the corner of your lips.
“Don't you think I've been humble enough for like a decade?”
“You got a point”
You soon finish your dinner and turn on the TV so you can watch a movie. It's just comfortable being with Jeongho, he makes the storm that usually is your mind become a light rain.
The next day is packed, you wake him up at 9 a.m. knowing it's going to be difficult to take him out of bed, especially when he keeps holding you and trying to make you stay in his warm embrace.
“We have to go”, you tell him, trying to escape from his heavy arm around your waist.
“Just more five minutes”, he asks, snuggling his head in the crock of your neck.
You really do want to stay like this with him, but you can't be swayed, you two have a full schedule that must be fulfilled.
“Jeongho, we must go or we are going to lose my first surprise”, you pout.
“Surprise?” He asks, backing away to look at you.
“Yes, I prepared a lot of things for us to do this weekend”, you give him a smug smile, “I didn't tell you half of it yesterday”
“Hm, that does sound interesting”, the hold on your waist tightens, making your body press even more against his. Jeongho lands a kiss on your cheek, then on your neck, going slower, “but you'll have to give me more than that to convince me that anything you planned is better than this”, you gasp feeling his hot breath hitting on your skin.
“I-”, you're not sure if you want to go out anymore, after feeling his soft lips again. “Babe”, you whisper, almost giving up when he flinches, backing away again. He is blushing.
“Did you just call me ‘babe’?” He asks flustered and you nod, smiling sheepishly.
“I mean, if you don't like it-”
“Of course I like it”, he answers fast, sitting on the bed. “Let's go, if you keep this up I won't let you get out of this bed for the whole weekend”, he tells you, getting up.
That offer does sound tempting, you sigh, but you two really do have lots to do.
Jeongho is not your first boyfriend, you didn't spend years pining over Jisung just waiting. Trying to get over him one way or another, you had your fair share of relationships, they just quite never made you feel like it was enough.
Until now. Jeongho easily swept you off your feet, liking him is just natural.
“Say cheese”, he asks while taking a selfie of you two, you're resting in a cafe after walking for hours.
“You really do like taking pictures”, you say and he nods.
“I do, especially when I'm with the second prettiest woman in the world”, he tells you.
You chuckle.
“May I presume that the number one is your mother?”
“Of course, dear. Who else could compete with you?”, he jokes, making you roll your eyes.
Jeongho’s name is called and he excuses himself to go to the counter to get your orders. This cafe you're visiting just opened, it is pretty popular and always crowded. You were only able to secure a table for your date because Hanna has a friend who works at the cafe and they were able to reserve it for you.
You hear the noise from the bell on the door and lift your eyes out of your phone to look at it, meeting Jisung's eyes.
What is he doing here?
“I didn't want to say it, but I think the cake you make is prettier than this one”, you hear Jeongho's voice, making you turn away to look at him, praying that your best friend won't try to talk to you.
Jeongho is much more sensible than you think, he picks up on your sudden stiffness and the awkwardness on your face, looking around to find out what happened. He sees Jisung coming in your direction hand in hand with a girl.
His right hand moves fast to the hand you have on the table, and his left one lands on your back, giving you reassurance.
“Jisung, it's been a while”, Jeongho says, voice more stern than you're used to, making you look at his face again, to see him almost glaring at your friend.
“Jeongho”, Han smiles, glancing at the hand your boyfriend has over yours and noticing how close you're from each other, “I thought you lived in Japan”, he points out.
“I do, but I come often to visit my girlfriend”, Jeongho smiles pretentiously.
“Your what now?” Han asks him, but he's looking at you, “last time I checked you haven't seen each other for almost ten years”
You turn your hand around, interlacing your fingers with Jeongho.
“Well, it has been a while since you last checked”, you answer, confidently.
Jisung's stand falters and the frown in his face is just priceless but you feel bad that he had to find out this way.
“Why are you being so awkward”, Lia says, glaring at him, “you should be happy for them”
She smiles at you.
“I'm happy for you, y/n, please take good care of her”, she tells Jeongho and he smiles kindly at her. “We will be on our way, then”
You have known Lia for a few months now. She was always nice to you, going to the apartment all the time and you thought her and Jisung to be just friends until you saw him smiling when he picked up her call, the same smile you have coveted for so long, wishing you were the one in the receiving end of that smile.
But you never were.
There's no reason for you to dislike her just because she is with him, now you have your own love and you don't need to wish for the affection of someone that doesn't have it in them to give it to you.
“Well, that was awkward”, Jeongho's voice takes you out of your daze. “Are you alright?”, he asks, bending down to be closer to you.
You smile at him, giving him a peck on the lips.
“I'm good, I have you”, you tell him. The man smiles brightly, tilting his head while looking at you lovingly.
“Now I'm thinking you're the one who's down bad for me”, he scoffs playfully, standing up and sitting in front of you.
“I can't confirm nor deny”, you say, winking at him. “What I can confirm is that the cake I bake is prettier than this one”, you bring back what he told you before.
“That's what I'm telling you!” He says excitedly, forgetting about Jisung, and honestly, you do too.
Why is she laughing so much? Is he even that funny? Or is she just trying to win his favor? Those are the thoughts Jisung has in his head while waiting for his order to get ready, he can't stop stealing glances at you, he misses your smiles and your laugh, there was a time he was the main reason for that beautiful sound to come out of your mouth.
“They look good together”, Lia's voice never sounded so annoying to him, what is she even talking about? You and Jeongho don't look good at all.
He gets up when his name is called, going to the counter to pick up his order and walking outside to meet Lia after. He can't stop thinking about you, if you hadn't gone away he would be the first person to know about you and Jeongho. It's just weird for him not being the first person you tell things to, that's what is bothering him he's sure of it.
The fact that he couldn't listen to anything Lia said throughout their whole date honestly worries him, Jisung has no idea what's happening to him and why he's acting this way towards the girl he was so into a few months ago.
He tries to bury himself in work, doing everything to stop thinking. He's afraid of what he's going to find out if he dig any deeper trying to understand his feelings.
You're in front of your apartment, you know the passcode and you know Jisung is not there at that moment but you just can't move. You have your huge bag hanging on your shoulder and another one on the floor, the only thing you have to do is go inside, so why is it so terrifying? The other time you went there to pick your books and some clothes, you didn't feel this way.
Was it because you knew you were not staying? Or was it because you and your best friend were on better terms at the time? Maybe you should just rent a crap apartment and go live alone. But how are you going to explain that to your parents? You can’t run away from Jisung your whole life, he is your best friend.
“Oh dear, were you traveling?” You hear the voice of the old lady who lives right next door.
You turn around, putting the sweetest smile you have on your lips.
“Hello, Mrs. Park, I was visiting a friend”, you half lie.
“Oh, that sounds like fun”, she giggles, “are you having trouble going inside?”
“Actually, Jisung changed the password and forgot to tell me”, you smile, lying through your teeth now, “I'm waiting for him to answer my texts”
She nods.
“Oh, your generation don't like to call, right? If I were you, I would call him until he picked up”, she jokes, “would you like to come inside to wait? You're going to get tired by just standing there”
You breathe, relieved, you know it's just a temporary measure but you'll take any opportunity not to enter your apartment yet.
“I would love to”, you answer her, grabbing the bag from the floor and following her inside.
Her apartment has pretty much the same layout as yours, but the decoration couldn't be any more different. She has lots of trinkets, frames and a clock hanging on the wall. There are a lot of pictures of her children and grandchildren.
“What about your husband?” You ask, sitting on the sofa while watching her going through the kitchen and putting some water to boil.
“He's visiting his brother in the countryside”, she answers. Your eyes wander around the room, landing on a frame with a beautiful couple. The picture looks old as it has a lot of aging marks.
“Oh, it's me and my husband”, Mrs. Park says, making you flinch to hear her so close to you. She has a proud smile on her lips. “Quite a handsome couple, weren't we?” She points out and you nod.
“Yes, a very charming couple”
She sighs, putting the tray with the teacups on the table in the center of the room.
“You know, he was my best friend”, she sits on the sofa, pointing to the other side for you to do the same, “I didn't always see him as a man, you know? I was in love with someone else at the time he confessed”
You stare at her, not sure what she's trying to say.
“But that guy broke my heart and he was there to pick it up and I fell in love”, she completes, with loving eyes.
“I'm not sure if I understand”, you say, feeling strangely uncomfortable.
“I'm telling you that the person you like may take a bit of time to understand his feelings”, she smiles kindly, “but I'm sure he will come to his senses”
You drop your eyes to your hands, fidgeting with your fingers. You're sure the old lady is only telling you that so you can feel better, but you don't feel like that at all. You don't want Jisung to like you now, you are exhausted from waiting for him.
“Your story is amazing, Mrs. Park”, you tell her, “but I already have someone who's absolutely sure of his feelings for me”, you stand, “I don't think I'll have to wait for another love”
She stares at you for a moment, analyzing you, trying to guess if you're being serious. Then, she smiles, standing too.
“I'm glad you came to that conclusion, honey”, she gets closer, patting you on the back. “Did Jisung send you the password?”, she asks, seeing you collect your bags.
“Yes, I have everything I need to go back home”, you say, thanking her for the hospitality.
You take a few deep breaths before pressing the password on the lock of your door. The house is the same as it was when you last went there.
You put your things in your room, unpacking your belongings and putting everything in place. You go to the living room, opening the glass door to the balcony so some air can circulate inside, you're sure Jisung spent his days out and didn't worry about opening the house a bit.
You go to the kitchen, there's nothing in the freezer, you already knew that you'd find it empty so it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're in the middle of the vegetables section when your phone buzzes. Looking at the device, you see Jeongho's name lightening the screen.
“Hey”, you answer, smiling.
“Hello, my love”, he says, you hear heavy breathing in the back of the call.
“Is everything okay?” You ask, worried.
“Yeah, I was hitting the gym and they called me from the office saying they needed me”, he sighs, rustling at the other side of the line.
“If you're in a hurry why are you calling me?” You ask, frowning.
“Of course, it's because I told you I would call you in the afternoon”, he tells you like it's the most obvious thing in the world and you giggle, feeling the happiest at that moment, warmth growing on your chest.
“You could have just texted me”, you tell him.
“Then I wouldn't be able to hear your sweet voice”, you're sure he has that flirty playful smile on his lips while saying that.
You sigh, leaning on a shelf from the store.
“I miss you”, you tell him.
On the other side of the line Jeongho stops on his tracks, smiling to himself while fidgeting.
“Me too, I can't wait to see you next weekend”, he says, “I was thinking maybe we could have dinner with all your friends so I can be officially introduced?”
“Yeah, that would be great”, you say, “I'll talk to them”
“Okay, I have to go now but I'll text you later”
It's great having someone who actually reciprocates your feelings, much better, someone you're so into as Jeongho.
You walk out of the elevator struggling to carry the groceries, finding a feminine figure hovering over your door. When she turns around, you recognize Lia.
“Hey”, you frown, did Jisung not tell her he was out?
“Y/N, hey!” She says, smiling at you. “Here, let me help you”, she says, grabbing two bags out of your hands.
“Thank you!” You say, “Jisung is not home right now, but come inside to wait for him, I don't think he's going to take long”
You open the door, giving space for her to walk in and then close the door.
“I'm sorry about showing up unannounced”, she smiles sheepishly, putting the bags on the table in the kitchen. “I texted Jisung but he didn't see my texts, I just wanted to give this to him”, she says, taking a pot out of her bag.
“Oh, okay”, you take it from her hands and turn around, putting it in the fridge.
“You can have some, I made a lot”, she says awkwardly and you smile at her.
“Thank you, Lia. Are you sure you don't want to wait?” You ask, looking at the mirror, you're sure he will be home soon and if she stays it's less of an opportunity for you to speak to him.
“I have class”, she sighs, “can you tell him to call me?”
“Sure, I'll tell him”, you nod. She starts walking to the door and you accompany her, saying goodbye and watching her enter the elevator, waving goodbye to you while the doors are closing.
You're sure you could have been friends if things were different. You sigh, rolling up the sleeves of your shirt while going back inside.
You brought a lot of vegetables, they all need to be washed before being put in the fridge, so you start taking them out of the bags to organize everything.
You have the sink’s tap running and some music playing on your phone, so when the door is opened and a tired Jisung enters the house you don't seem to notice.
He stares at you as if you're a mirage, happiness overflowing in his chest with your presence back home. He watches as you hum to the song playing, a few strands of your hair falling on your face.
With a bowl of vegetables ready to be stored, you turn around bumping into your best friend, making you jump.
“When did you get here?” You ask, with your hand on your chest, heart beating fast, not sure if it's because of the surprise or because you're finally facing him.
“I just got here”, he lies, he can't tell you it's been minutes he's there watching you.
You nod, opening the fridge to store the vegetables, trying to avoid his gaze. Not sure of how to act now that you're back.
“Oh, Lia stopped by and left you this”, you point to the pot.
“I'm sorry, I didn't know she was going to come here”, he starts explaining and you frown.
“There's no reason for you to apologize, she's your girlfriend”, you answer nonchalantly and he steps back, feeling a sudden ache in his chest. You're not even looking at him while saying that, but why is it that you look so unbothered? Are you really over him? That's what he wanted, so why doesn't he feel relieved?
“She's not my girlfriend”, he tells you, frowning. You finally look at him, he's staring at you like he expects something from you. You don't know what he wants and you sure don't have the energy to try and find out.
“Anyway”, you say, closing the fridge, “I'm sure she'll be your girlfriend soon, you can bring her anytime you want don't mind me”
“Won't you feel uncomfortable?” He asks, fidgeting uncomfortably.
“Not at all”, you grab your phone and put it in your pocket, ready to go take a shower. “I plan on bringing my boyfriend a lot here, so it won't be fair to you if you can't do the same”
You flash him a smile before heading to your room. You're acting the same as you did before your confession, so why does it make him so miserable now?
“So, does he want to ask for your hand in marriage or something like that?” Felix asks, making you and Hannah choke on your drinks, while Hyunjin and Minho laugh at your reaction. “I'm just asking!”
“No, why would you even think that?”, you chuckle.
“It's such a formal thing to have dinner like this”, Seungmin points out, “normal people just arrange a meeting at a cafe or something like that”
“He likes y/n, he must not be right in the head”, Jeongin says and you smack him in the head, making him pout.
“I think it's cute that he wants to meet you all formally”, you say.
“I think it's nice too”, Hannah supports you, “if you guys don't wanna go just say it”
“Now, we didn't say that”, Minho says. “It's just a bit weird to finally meet a boyfriend you actually like. Especially since we all thought Hannie would fall in love with you eventually”
You nod, sighing and feeling a bit upset with his comment, but you know it's impossible for people to forget you were in love with Jisung for more than a decade.
“Yeah, I get where you're coming from, but I'm happy with Jeongho and I want you all to meet him and know how great he is”
Minho nods.
“Yeah, okay. Then, I guess I'll have to give him the ‘dad talk’”, he says seriously and everyone laughs at your terrified face.
“Please don't”, you beg him.
You get home earlier than expected, Jisung is not home yet so you have the house to yourself for a bit. A long, hot shower is everything you need to relax. It's been a long week with awkward interactions between you and Jisung, you kept trying to avoid him, at least until you feel comfortable like you used to.
You spend too much time organizing your wardrobe, when you look at the time you realize how late it is. So you grab a towel and hurry to the bathroom, trying to get back to your room before Jisung gets home.
The hot water does wonders to you, even though you have to take a quick shower, it helps a lot with your sore muscles from stress.
When you wrap yourself in the towel and your clothes are nowhere to be found, you know you fucked up. It's even worse when you hear the beeps at the door, fucking hell. Things are already awkward, if you walk out of this bathroom in only a piece of fabric, things will be even worse.
You can tell Jisung is in the kitchen because you can hear him walking around, opening the cabinets and humming to some music while setting the table. You're sure you can just run to your room and he'll never know this happened.
That would be a great plan, actually, if Han wasn't knocking on your room's door exactly when you got out of the bathroom.
He turns around, with a big smile on his face that automatically dies down the moment he sees you. Your life is so fucked up, really. You have been living together for three years, of course he had seen you in only a towel before but things were inevitably different now. Maybe he thinks you did this on purpose?
"Ahm-", you're trying to explain yourself, you can tell he's speechless, "I was trying to shower before you arrived and happened to forget to take my clothes with me", you say, smiling sheepishly.
"Oh, yeah", he answers, stepping aside so you can enter your room. "You can come eat when you're done, I brought pizza", he says and you nod, walking fast into your room and locking the door.
From now on you'll have a checklist of things you have to take to the bathroom when showering so your dumbass doesn't forget about the most important thing: clothes.
Han feels his ears getting warmer, you look somehow different, he just can't tell exactly what changed. Every other time you saw him in a towel or the other way around, you both would brush it off and laugh about it, why does he feel so embarrassed now?
"Did you change your hair?" He asks, your mouth is full so you can't answer him right away.
"No? Maybe it grew a bit"
"That must be it", he nods.
Yeah, it's definitely her hair that's different, he thinks.
"I'll do the dishes, you must be tired after practicing all day", you say, gathering the plates.
Han nods, getting up and telling you he's going to take a shower.
The image of the drops of water running from your hair through your neck and chest and disappearing in the soft fabric is the first thing that comes to Jisung's mind when the hot water hits his skin.
Where you always like that? Your skin looked so soft, he felt the urge to caress it, what would your reaction be if he touched you?
Han frowns, why the hell is he thinking about that? He must be crazy, it's the only reasonable answer.
The fact that another date with Lia went by and Jisung couldn't pay attention to a word she said makes it clear to him that things are not the same between them and that he doesn't want to keep things going as they are.
“I think we shouldn't see each other anymore”, he says, when they arrive at her apartment. Lia's hands stop before she can open the door and she turns around slowly, looking at Jisung.
“What are you talking about?” She asks, leaning on the door, staring at the guy she likes. He sighs, trying to come up with a good explanation for the reason he wants to end things.
“I just, don't feel the same anymore”, he looks at his feet, not able to look her in the eyes yet.
She is staring at him, crossed arms in front of her chest, trying to hold the tears, trying not to break.
“You have been acting indifferent to me for quite some time now”, she points out, with a bitter smile on her lips. “I should have ended things when I first noticed it, I guess I just like you that much, huh”, she completes, taking a deep breath.
“I'm sorry”, Han sighs, finally looking at her, “I didn't mean to hurt you”
“Yeah”, she scoffs, “Is it because of y/n?”
Jisung's eyes widen.
“It was always quite clear that she liked you”, she completes, before he can say anything. “I just didn't pay any mind to it because you guys have been friends for such a long time”
“It's not like that-”, he tries to argue.
“That day at the cafe you couldn't take your eyes out of her and that guy”, she points out, “she liked you for so long and right when she finds someone else you start liking her?” Lia scoffs, feeling the tears brimming in her eyes.
“I don't like her like that”, he says and the girl rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that”, she says before turning around and entering her apartment, closing the door in his face.
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A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing. Also, you can buy me a coffee.
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hyunniesgirl · 22 days
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Another Love | Part 2
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Words count: 5,302
Warnings: a bit of angst
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
>> Masterlist <<
A/N: hello!! I'm really happy about the feedback I got on the first part, I got sick and stressed because of work that's why it took me a bit long to post this part, I'll try and be faster for the next ones. Spoiler: things will get more interesting on the next part.
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Han couldn't sleep, couldn't eat or even function properly since the day you left, it was so strange not having you around. He wakes up, gets to work, the boys make him eat something, they practice, then they eat something again because they know he's going home to starve himself in his pit of misery, then he gets home, takes a shower and goes to sleep.
He's always anxious, too afraid of losing you, every time he looks at his phone he's scared that a message from you will come saying you don't want to be near him anymore, saying you are not coming back.
He really wishes he could like you back, why wouldn't he? You're pretty, smart and funny. But he just never thought about you in that way, he's not sure why. You were always just his best friend, the one person that encouraged him to do the crazy things he wanted, the one person that got his back when things didn't work out, the first one he told when he passed the audition to be a trainee.
When he saw you at the party he was happy to see you smiling with other people, he was usually the one making you laugh but it made him relieved to see you were okay even if it was not with him.
It hurt so much when you ran away from him, he was already feeling bad but that made everything worse. So he drank more and more until he wasn't feeling anything anymore.
He saw the guy you were hanging out with, he was with his friends and you were nowhere to be found and even though he knew you didn't want to talk to him he went after you.
He found you outside, seated on the floor probably getting some fresh air or waiting for Hannah.
When you saw him he wished he didn't go after you at all. Everything happened so fast that he almost didn't manage to hold you before you walked past him running away again.
Han just couldn't let you leave like that, he was that desperate. He wanted to make you stay no matter what and he hurt you once more.
Was he even a good friend at this point? How many times can you possibly hurt someone and still be called a friend? He felt like trash waking up in the morning and remembering everything.
Chan insisted on coming home with him, he was feeling too guilty and too tired to protest, so he let his friend crash on the sofa.
Since Chan was there, Jisung should have expected a full breakfast when he got to the kitchen. Eggs, bacon and toast were waiting for him, but he didn't feel like eating.
"I feel awful, do you think I should go there and apologize to her?" Han asks and Chan shakes his head.
"She needs time, that's all you can give her now"
Han sighs, his anxiety going through the ceiling. He's lost, not sure if it's possible for things to go back to the way it was.
He could tell how worried you got when you saw him at the party, he knows too well the face you make when you want to scold him for not taking care of himself. So he spent the next week trying to get back on his feet, he doesn't want you feeling bad, he wants you to think the least about him so you can get over him soon enough.
So much happened during this time you were not with him, they finished their album and were going to Japan in two weeks. He wanted to show you their music, their new concept, the outfits, you always loved to see the clothes they would wear. You probably already know all of this, since you're living with Seungmin but he wanted to be the one showing you so he could see you smile and feel your support.
>><<
The group had gone to Japan, that included Seungmin, so he asked Hannah to stay with you in his apartment while he was away. It's nice spending so much time with her, there is this boy in her communication class she is absolutely sure will match perfectly with you, even though you already told her you don't want to deceive anyone, the thing with Heeseung made you feel bad enough. You know she's insisting on it because she cares about you, but you don't want to start a new relationship already on the wrong foot.
"I'm sure he's great, but I won't be going out with other people until I feel like I'll be able to get over Jisung"
"And when is that?" She asks frustrated, "I know a lifelong crush won't go away in a month but don't you think you have to meet other people and open up?"
You sigh, you just don't want to hurt anyone during your process of healing.
"If I find someone I like, I'll go out with them, alright? But don't set me up with random people"
She huffs, nodding, that's better than nothing.
Since Han is away, you take the opportunity and go to your apartment. You need some books, you have been borrowing Hannah's in an attempt to avoid going there to pick up yours.
There's nothing different in the house, you don't know if you should feel glad or sad about that. Although your life is turned upside down, things are still the same. You are sure you just need a little more time, things will get better soon.
You know that, because it didn't hurt as much as you thought going back to your apartment, you expected it would be much worse. Maybe it's because he's not there? That could be it but you have hope that the overall pain is gone, that it's not going to be so bad when you see him again.
Of course, as Hannah said, a lifelong love won't go away in a month, nor in two or five months, you're not sure even a year is enough but you can't wait until then, he's still your best friend and you miss him like crazy.
You're going to come back home when you're sure you let go of these feelings. Yes, it's going to be hard being with him but it's harder to stay away from your best friend.
So when you feel like you're finally open to meet new people without comparing them to Jisung and not feel like you're tricking them, when you feel like you can like someone else without feeling guilty, that's when you'll know you are starting to get over Han.
You take some clothes out of your wardrobe and put them in the bag with your books. Hannah is coming to pick you up since Seungmin let you use his car while he's away.
"Are you moving, ma'am?" Hannah asks, seeing your huge bag.
"A girl needs to be prepared", you answer and she laughs.
"Do you want some coffee?", you hum in agreement while turning on the radio.
You feel like it's finally peaceful in your head.
>><<
It's been some time since you visited your family, your parents call you every week to check on you and Jisung but when the holidays come you two have to go back home.
That's how you ended up in the car with him, it's not a long trip since you're going just outside of Seoul but it's still awkward.
This is the first time you're seeing each other after the party. The whole trip it seems like Han wants to say something, but he doesn't, he keeps stealing glances at you, opening his mouth and then closing again like he just thought it better to stay in silence.
"For fucks sake, just say what you want to say", you tell him minutes before your arrival at your family’s home.
He flinches, looking at you with puppy eyes.
"I wanted to apologize, about the whole thing at the party", he clears his throat, fidgeting in his seat.
You stare at him for a few seconds. Even though it hurts, the whole situation is less painful then you thought it would be.
When you received the call from your parents telling you to come home with Han on the weekend you couldn't say no, you don't want them to know about all the drama and before you could make up some excuse about Han's schedule they told you he already had agreed to go.
You exchanged messages with him, setting up the time for him to pick you up at Seungmin's place and you dreaded every minute of every day thinking about the moment you would have to face Jisung again.
When you got into his car, you felt uncomfortable. You made some small talk and left at that, hoping he wouldn't keep trying to talk. It's been two months since you confessed, maybe your heart is already accepting the fact that you and your best friend are just that, friends.
Of course it still hurts, you're not sure how you're going to feel seeing him with a girlfriend, but you hope it'll only get easier from now on.
"It's okay", you say. "You were drunk, let's not think too much about it"
"But I hurt you, again", he sighs, looking at you with a frown on his face.
"Yeah, you did", you sigh, "but you're my best friend and you apologized, I'm not going to hold that against you"
He parks the car, but doesn't make any movement to get out. Jisung is staring at his hands, holding the wheel.
"You're too soft on me", he mumbles.
"I know", you smile sadly, "it's just how things are between us", you open your door urging him to get out. You already can imagine your mothers making a fuss about why you stayed so long inside the car instead of going inside.
Your parents come out while you're going through the gate, your mom has a bright smile on her face and is waiting to give you a hug. It's good to be in her embrace again, her warmth makes you feel like everything will be okay.
"You lost so much weight, aren't you taking care of her?" Han's mother scolds him while giving you a hug and feeling you out.
"It's my fault, school is just crazy right now", you tell her, hugging her back.
"Nonetheless, you should eat", she looks back at your mother, "let's double the side dishes we packed for them", and your mom nods, going back inside with her best friend.
You take a deep breath, receiving a sympathetic smile from Han before he goes into the house. It's going to be a long day.
The lunch is somewhat calm, other than the dozens of questions your families ask to you two. About college, about living by yourselves, about Han's trips, how you stay alone and how that's dangerous, they ask about everything like they don't talk to you every week.
"I forgot the ice cream", your father says, slapping the palm of his hand onto his forehead and you can already predict the scolding he's going to receive from your mother. So you jump on your feet, offering to go to the convenience store to buy some.
"Go with her", Han's father says and he nods.
You wish he didn't, it's suffocating being so close to your best friends while still uncertain of your circumstances, but if you say you don't want to, they are going to ask why and having to explain that is going to be worse than spending the day with Jisung.
You walk quietly, looking at the houses on the street. Everything is still the same, other than some renovations made to the old houses there's nothing new. The convenience store is a ten minute walk away from your house. It's good walking a bit after eating so much, the thing you miss the most about living with your parents is your mother's food.
"Which flavor?" Jisung asks while looking into the freezer.
"My mom likes strawberry and yours like chocolate, let's take both", he nods.
"Oh my god, y/n and Jisung?" You hear that damn voice you can't forget even after almost 10 years.
You put on your best smile and turn around slowly.
"Hi, Haneul", you say, poking Han with your elbow, he's still focused on choosing ice cream.
"Oh, hey", he nods at Haneul, closing the freezer.
She eyes you two up and down and smiles.
"Are you finally dating?" She squeals and you can tell she's just being mean.
"No", you answer before Jisung can even open his mouth, he glances at you with a frown.
"I'm sorry, y/n, it seems not every teenage crush works out", she pouts, smiling even more now that she got what she wanted.
You watch as she turns around, walking more deep into the store and you grab the ice creams from Han's hands, going to the cashier to pay for it.
Haneul hated you ever since Jisung dragged you to go on their date in middle school, it's not your fault but you always guessed she blamed you for things not working out with him.
You want to cry, not because you're sad but because you feel humiliated. It's so frustrating knowing that everyone has always known about your feelings for Han, it's even worse to think one day a lot of your school classmates are going to see his wedding pictures with you as the third wheel as always and think of how much of a loser you're.
"How did she know about that?" He asks when you get out of the store.
"I don't think I did a good job at hiding my feelings", you shrug.
Han stops on his tracks, you only realize that after giving a few steps and you look back to see him staring at you with a confused face.
"Was I the only one that didn't know?" He asks and you sigh, you're not really in the mood to have this conversation.
"Our parents probably don't know either", you say and he huffs.
"I'm not joking, y/n! Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"What difference would it make if you knew?" You yell, finally losing it. You can feel the tears brimming in your eyes, but you won't cry, you were finally feeling a bit better and you're not going to waste another tear on this one sided love.
"Things could have been different, I could have been more careful, I could have told you to-"
He stops mid sentence knowing he shouldn't finish the sentence, but it's already too late.
"Would you have told me to move on?" You scoff, looking around to avoid the tears. "It's not that easy Jisung, this is not the same love you felt in your relationships that lasted three months", you know you're just being mean now, but you can't control it, not with all the hurt you're feeling. "I've been in love with you for years, don't you think I was afraid of that? Of you telling me that years of me pining over you were worth nothing?"
You turn around, "tell our parents that I met someone from high school and I'll be back later", you don't give him time to say anything back before you walk away.
After a few minutes, you feel the tears running down your face. At least you avoided crying in front of him.
Why does it have to be so hard? Why can't you just forget about him already? This process is taking too long and too much of your energy.
You sit in the park, wiping your tears and looking at the children playing. Everything was easier when you were at that age, you had no worries other than if it would rain the day you would go play with your friends outside or which present to give your parents on their birthday.
You look at your phone, answering your messages, your mother sent you a text telling you to not stay out too late but you don't think you'll be able to go back and stay in the same room as Han right now.
"Y/n?" You hear a strangely familiar voice, you look up and see a handsome man walking towards you. You're sure you know his face, but you just can't remember who it is.
He sees your frown and laughs.
"Jeongho? From middle school", he tells you and your eyes widen.
"Oh my god, Jeongho! How are you?" You ask and he smiles, he grew up really well. He's much taller now but he's still as handsome.
"I'm doing well, what about you?" He asks, sitting by your side, "are you visiting your family?"
"I'm great", you smile and nod, "yeah, Jisung and I came to visit"
What are the odds of you meeting Haneul and Jeongho of all people right after you confessed to Han? The universe really must be playing with you.
"I heard that you are living in Japan", you continue.
"Yeah, I came here just for the holiday", he explains, "actually, I come by pretty often to Korea", he clears his throat, looking at you. "Are you and Jisung a thing now?" He asks and you smile painfully, why must you answer this question twice in a day?
"No, still just friends", you tell and he smiles.
He nods, mumbling 'ah'.
"And… by any chance are you single?" He asks and you nod, feeling embarrassed. "Well, that's good news for me", he says, receiving a confused look from you while handing you his phone, "mind giving me your number? I'd like to keep in contact with you"
"Oh", you stare at the device for a moment, trying to process what he's saying. Is he interested in you?
"It's okay if you don't want to", he chuckles, "I'm just shooting my shot, knowing you're not with Jisung"
You laugh, releasing the air you didn't even notice you were holding.
"Yeah, sure", you type your number and give it back to him.
He stares at you with a satisfied smile before getting up.
"I have to go now, my family is waiting for me, but I'll text you", he says, flashing a smile and waving goodbye to you.
That was certainly unexpected, you would have never imagined you would meet Jeongho and he would still be interested in you. That lightens up your mood a bit, maybe this time you'll make the right choice and choose the person that likes you back.
You and Han don't share a word on your trip back, you don't want to talk to him and he seems too deep in his thoughts to say anything to you.
You finally can breathe when you get to Seungmin's, he's waiting with Hannah, beer and food, all you needed after this hell of a day.
>><<
You are in a lilac long dress, your friends are all seated in the first row. The church is full of people, some you know, some you're not so sure. You're happy, feeling your heart beat fast and butterflies on your stomach. Jisung is looking directly at you, he smiles with a proud look on his face.
However, before you can step closer to him, a loud piano sound starts playing and after a few seconds you recognize the wedding march. People stand up but they are not looking at you, neither is Han, they are all looking at the church doors where a beautiful woman is entering in a long white dress, a child walks in front of her, throwing roses in her path. The familiar round full cheeks make your stomach sink, why does that child look so much like Han? He doesn't have a younger sibling.
Then, it all sinks in, you're not the bride. Of course not, he's marrying another woman, a beautiful one at that. He's building his life and forming a family and you're just there on the sidelines. The bride steps in front of him and gives you her bouquet, smiling kindly at you.
You open your eyes abruptly, your chest is going up and down at a fast pace and your breathing is heavy, you're soaked in sweat. It was all a dream, a nightmare.
You sit on the sofa, feeling sore, all your muscles are tense. You can't believe you actually dreamt about something like that, your fear of always being there watching your best friend have his own life while still in love with him is taking over, even though you're trying to get over him.
It's two in the morning and you can't go back to sleep. It's better to take a shower and maybe go for a walk to calm your nerves.
The warm bath helps make you relax, but the memories from your dream keeps coming up on your mind again and again.
You text the only person who is probably still awake at this time and your phone buzzes seconds after your message is sent.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of being contacted by my most beautiful friend?” Chan's voice sounds on the other side of the line.
You chuckle.
“I knew you would be awake”, you tell him, fidgeting with your feet while trying to explain what's happening to him without humiliating yourself.
“I had a pretty bad nightmare and wanted to take a walk, maybe eat something? I don't know”, you whisper the last part and Chan sighs, he can tell you're not feeling well.
“Sure, I wanted to take a break anyway”, he says even though he's full of work to do.
You meet at a convenience store nearby, Chan's apartment is not far from Seungmin's since they can't live far away from each other, everyone lives close. You and Jisung did too- cursed man, coming back through your mind even though you're trying to think of anything but him.
“So”, Chan says, taking you out of your thoughts, “Jisungie told me you had a bit of an argument”, he tells you carefully, resting his elbows on the table you two are seated while he holds the beer can.
You sigh, of course he would tell Chan.
“Yeah, we just met someone from middle school during our trip and it ended up like that”, you explain after swallowing a mouthful of the hot spice ramen you have in your hands.
“I know things are not easy right now, for you or for him”, he says carefully, “but you're best friends, you have to communicate and talk things through”
“I guess”, you sigh. It's not easy to talk about Jisung, more so after the dream you had. You thought the worst part was already over, that you were finally getting over him. But it turns out it's not just willingness that makes things happen.
You wake up to your phone buzzing, you look at the time it's almost noon. You look through your messages and can't help but smile, Jeongho has been messaging you everyday since the last time you saw him. It's nice having this kind of attention, he's handsome and nice, maybe it's time for you to open your heart to someone else. The nightmare you had really terrified you, just thinking about it makes your head hurt and your chest ache.
Jeongho: good morning
Jeongho: I'll be in Korea next week, maybe we could have dinner together?
You: morning
You: yeah, that would be great!
You decide to give this a chance, it's not like it is going to kill you and Jeongho is well aware about your longing feelings for Jisung.
You're dressed in a red dress, feeling a bit uncomfortable, formal attire is not your usual outfit choice, but Jeongho set the date in a really fancy restaurant that you're not used to.
Of course you went to fancy restaurants before, the boys took you out often to celebrate their awards and new comebacks but since you always insisted on paying for your meals, they usually went to fancy but still affordable places.
Jisung always offered to pay for your meals, but you never accepted. If he did, you were afraid you would look too much like a couple and your heart might make you even more delusional.
“Good evening, how can I help you?” The receptionist asks and you look around, trying to find your date.
“Hm, hi. I'm here to meet a person, Kang Jeongho?” You eye the list on the counter to try and see if his name is there.
“Yes, mr. Kang is waiting”, he tells you, “may I take your coat?” He asks, gesturing to the long cover you have over you.
“Ah, yes”, you say, taking the piece and giving it to him.
The man gestures for you to follow and you walk behind him to the second floor. Jeongho is waiting at a table close to the window, he's looking at the view that you can see now it's marvelous.
“Mr. Kang”, the receptionist says and Jeongho turns around, giving you a big bright smile while standing up.
“Thank you”, he tells the man who nods at you and walks back to the first floor. “You look beautiful”, he tells you, pulling the chair so you can sit.
“Thank you, I didn't even know there was a second floor in this restaurant”, you say while watching him take his seat.
“Yes, they only open it on special occasions”, he says and you frown, looking around.
“You mean, they opened it so we could eat here?”
He nods, chuckling to your terrified face.
“What are you, the president’s son?” You joke, nervously, suddenly feeling absolutely out of place and underdressed.
“Not at all, you know my father and he's far away from politics”, he jokes back, “I’m friends with the son of the owner, he owed me one so I just asked for a favor”, he shrugs.
You look dumbfounded, who is this guy? Surely not the same teenager that looked absolutely heartbroken when you rejected him in middle school.
“What did you do for him to go to such lengths to pay you back?” You ask, curious.
“I introduced him to his wife”, he smiles, “he's madly in love with her, so this was nothing to how grateful he is to me”
“Oh”, you nod. That must be nice, having someone madly in love with you.
The waiter interrupts your interrogation to ask for your orders, you have no idea what to choose, but Jeongho explains to you each dish, asking if you would like something more spicy, salty or sweet and telling which one he thought you'd like better based on your answers.
“You know, you were my first crush”, Jeongho blurts out after the waiter takes the plates back to the kitchen. You feel your whole face hot, looking at him with wide eyes, “I'm sorry, I just thought you should know”, he smiles and you notice he has some deep dimples in his cheeks.
“I thought you asked me out in middle school because you lost a bet or something”, you put your hands to your cheeks, trying to ease the redness.
“I think you never gave yourself enough credit”, he points out, leaning his face on his hand while watching you. “You were always too focused on Jisung to actually see that I was not the only one looking at you with heart eyes”
You smile sheepishly, you knew your crush on your best friend was going to come up in the conversation at some point, but now that it did you don't know how to talk about it.
“Well, I found out not long ago that I was not as good as I thought at hiding my feelings”, you tell him, “apparently everyone knew that I liked my best friend—except him”
“Am I right to presume that you still have those feelings?” He asks slyly, your heart is beating fast, what if you tell him the truth and he says he doesn't want to see you anymore?
“Actually-”, you sigh, “I'm trying to get over them at the moment”
It's better he knows the truth, so he can enter this aware of your standing.
“Well, that's more than I expected”, he chuckles and you look at him confused, “I thought you were still hang up on him”
“I actually confessed”, you're feeling a bit more confident after his reaction, “and I was rejected, so I don't think there's much for me to hang on anymore”
“So, I'm sorry if I'm being too straightforward- but could I be greedy and believe I have a chance?” He asks and you're sure his eyes are wavering a bit, is he nervous? Did you actually make someone feel that way because of you?
“Yes”, you tell him, biting back a smile and blushing, he smiles at you sighing in relief.
He stands up and reaches his hand out to you.
“Then, shall we take a walk? I have a long way to make you fall for me”, he bites his bottom lip, waiting for you to take his hand.
This is it, the first step for you to get over Han Jisung.
Han sees Lia's lips move but he can't actually hear what she's saying, every word you said the last time, keeps sounding on his mind like a bloody curse.
What would he have done if he had known sooner? Would he have liked you back? Surely not, after all these years he didn't feel anything romantically related towards you, but that may be because he never thought about you in that way. Would he have told you to move on?
"Are you listening?" Jisung hears Lia say and snaps out of his thoughts.
"Yes, of course", he lies, giving her a slight smile and grabbing her hand to squeeze it.
"You're just… acting strange, since you came back from your parent’s house", she frowns.
"It's nothing, I just… had an argument with y/n and now she's mad at me", he tells a half truth.
"I'm sure she's going to forgive you", Lia says, sympathetically, "you're best friends after all"
Han nods, sighing.
He had avoided telling her the whole situation with you, it could make her insecure since you two live together.
There's something different too, he just doesn't feel the same way about her anymore, the burning flame and excitement he felt when they first started going out is slowly dying down and he just doesn't know what to do anymore.
All his previous relationships ended up because he was too busy, or because his personality didn't actually match with the other person, sometimes the girl he was dating just felt uncomfortable about his friendship with you, but he couldn't end years of friendship because he was dating so he ended the relationship.
However, Lia is different. She's great and confident, she doesn't care that he lives with you because she trusts him. She's calm, her personality is nice, she's nice. So why? Why is he feeling like this suddenly? Why is he wavering when it comes to starting this new relationship?
When he gets to practice after a weekend of resting, he is still confused, however, he's trying his best to stay focused on their new album, music is the only thing he is sure of in his life right now.
It's half past the time practice should start and Seungmin is not there yet, after one more song he asks Bangchan about it, he's starting to get worried, what if something happened to you?
“Oh, don't worry about it, he's just interviewing his roommate prospect”, Chan answers.
Han freezes. Then, that means you're going back home?
------------------
A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.
Taglist(I won't be tagging people without age in their profile or blank blogs in my content)
@hhwangsmoon @weareapackofstrays @shycreationdreamland @adestayskz @skizmee @ca11me3mily @realviviboss @sofix-hc7 @seungminsapuppy @starsandrqindrops @its-hannjisung @redstayrosie @mae-is-cute98
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hyunniesgirl · 22 days
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It's so nice to wake up with this kind of feedback, it really makes me happy 🫶🏻
Another Love | part 1
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Words count: 8,539
Warnings for this part: lots of angst, drunk people, drunk Han is petty asf
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
A/N: So I made that pool asking if I should post this fic in chapters or a 20,000+ words chapter and the long ass chapter won but at the time my mind told me I would be able to finish the whole fic before posting it... Jokes on me I need validation and feedback for me to write so yeah let's do this in chapters, sorry
A/N2: I had this idea for quite some time now but got suddenly inspired listening to the song another love.
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You're done. Really, you can't take it anymore. You've known Han Jisung since elementary school, you have been basically joined at the hip since then, your parents even became best friends because of you two.
You don't know exactly when you fell in love with him, was it on your second day at school when he invited you to play with him because he noticed you were all alone? Was it when someone made an awkward joke about your messed up hair cut in second grade and he picked a fight with them? Maybe it was the very first moment you laid eyes on him, joking around with everyone and being the most popular kid in the classroom. You really can't remember, but the thing you're sure of is: Han Jisung doesn't like you back.
You've always known that, but inside you there was a tiny bit of hope that one day he would wake up and suddenly love you back.
That didn't happen though. You are now 23 and he has never ever shown the smallest amount of romantic interest in you.
"That's fine", you thought to yourself, ever since you realized your feelings for him, "I'm going to stay with him his entire life, that doesn't sound so bad"
Until it started to sound really bad. What are you gonna do? See him getting a girlfriend, then getting engaged and eventually married? Would you always be there on the sidelines listening to his lovesick whines about the woman he loves so much? Would you be the godmother to his children? By then, would you have gotten over him already? Or would you keep this up forever, marrying someone just because you can't stay alone and being in love with your best friend for the rest of your life? That was the moment you knew you had to stop, you can't keep this up.
Coincidentally Han broke up with his last girlfriend a few months ago, you thought that would be a good opportunity for you to be his rebound, yeah, pretty dignified of you.
So you dress up really pretty, hair up, a dress that always made Han compliment you and to finish it off—the necklace he gave you on your 12th birthday.
You think this is it, this is the day you're going to tell him how much you love him and maybe, just maybe he will contemplate giving you a chance.
When he arrives at your shared apartment, with two cans of beer and fried chicken, you give him a cheerful greeting, setting the table and trying to gather courage to speak.
"So, how was practice?", you begin, maybe some small talk will help you relax.
"It was good, we are almost done with the album", he says, typing something on his phone. "How was your day?", he asks, putting the device on the table and looking at you.
"Good, I had class in the morning and tutoring in the afternoon", you take a sip of your beer, "one of the mothers actually recommended me to other parents and I'm gonna start tutoring more students next week"
He smiles, "that's good, you're really smart"
You blush, bringing the back of your hands to your face to try and lessen the hot skin of your cheeks with the cold of your hands.
"Actually, I want to talk to you", you start, it's now or never.
"Sure-", Jisung stops mid sentence when his phone buzzes. "Just a minute", he looks at the screen and smiles, your heart sinks at the sight. You know that smile too well, you have seen it dozens of times. You feel your insides turning over. It's the smile meant only for the person he likes.
"Hey, Lia. Yeah, totally, I can talk right now", he picks up the call and once again asks you for a minute lifting his index finger, he walks towards the balcony and closes the glass door after going through it.
He's laughing about something, is she even that funny or is he just trying to win her favor? She's pretty, you know it. All of his girlfriends looked like models. You sigh, looking at yourself and feeling awful, suddenly you don't feel pretty anymore, you actually feel ridiculous.
Why did you think things would change just because you got brave enough to speak up? Jisung sees you as a best friend and nothing more, you have to come to terms with that.
Your mind is rushing, thinking about what you're going to do now? Can you keep being friends with him? Yeah, of course, he's your best friend, you won't end your friendship because you can't control your feelings. But you'll need time, right? You won't be able to get over this unrequited love if you keep seeing him everyday, doing everything with him and sleeping in the same house.
"So, what do you want to talk about?", he asks, sitting again. You didn't even notice he had come back inside.
You sigh, you'll tell him about it all and then you'll find the strength in you to move on.
"I like you", you say so low you're not sure he heard you. But he did, he smiles and chuckles.
"I like you too, we're best friends for a reason", he stretches his arm to take a fried chicken.
"No, I like like you", you admit, hugging yourself, feeling cold suddenly, you look around and see Han left the door to the balcony open. "I've been in love with you since I can remember", you complete.
The look on his face would be funny if it wasn't tragic, his brows are furrowed in confusion and his eyes have a very familiar look: fear. Of course, he's afraid of losing his best friend, you already guessed that much.
"Y/N I-", you notice his breathing quickening. "I'm sorry, I never knew", he says, shoulders slumping, his arms dropping to the side of his body.
"Yeah, I know you didn't", you say. He's still staring at you with so much hurt in his eyes. Jisung knows he will have to turn you down and it's going to hurt him a lot, but not as much as it will hurt you and he never ever wanted to hurt you. 
"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say", he takes a deep breath, "I never thought about you in that way, I'm really sorry, I don't feel the same"
You're not going to cry, you decided that the moment you saw fear in his eyes. It's not his fault you like him, he can't fall in love with you just because you love him. You're not going to cry and make him feel worse than you can tell he's already feeling. But listening to those words it's worse than you could have expected, you feel like the world is crumbling around you.
"I know you don't", you smile sadly.
He looks more confused now.
"Then, why did you tell me?"
"It's just… I'm done with all this", you reply, getting up from your chair.
"Done with our friendship?" Han can feel all the air leaving his body while he waits for your answer.
You chuckle, fidgeting with your foot.
"No, I don't think I could ever be done with that", you smile trying to reassure him and he feels so relieved. "I can't keep doing this, I can't continue seeing you with other people and stay hurting alone"
"I can stop bringing people to the apartment and I'll never talk about them around you", he says trying to help and your stomach sinks a lot more. Why does he have to be so sweet?
"Actually, I'll need some time", you clear your throat, "I think I'm going to stay with Seungmin for the time being, he is looking for a roommate"
Han's eyes widen and he gets up, walking towards you.
"What are you talking about? Are you going to move out?"
"It's not something definitive, I'm going to stay there until he finds a new roommate and come back after that", you take a step back, noticing how close he is to you. "Luckily by then I'll be over you, I think I just need some personal space for now, where you're not there everytime I look, or your things aren't mixed with mine or your scent isn't around every room"
"Will you still speak to me?", he asks, he wants to hug you, to hold you in his arms and say how sorry he is for not feeling the same. But he knows he can't, the best thing he can do is to keep his distance from you right now.
"I think we should keep it restricted to apartment things for now, I'll keep paying my half of the rent since my things will still be here"
"You don't have to pay if you're not here"
Ever since Jisung started making good money he insisted that you didn't have to pay for rent since you only work part time as a tutor to pay for your living expenses but you always refused. Even though he earns a lot more than you it wouldn't be fair for him to be the only one paying and honestly, you felt that if he was the only one paying for it, you would feel too much like you were a couple.
"No, I'll pay you. This arrangement doesn't change the fact that we still share the apartment"
He nods, looking down, the awkward silence making you sick.
"I'm really sorry I hurt you", he whispers and all the crying you avoided over this whole conversation threatens to come out at that exact moment.
"It's not your fault", you say, "I'm sorry I made things awkward, just give me some time and we'll be back to how things were, okay?", you give him a reassuring smile even though you're not sure things will ever go back to the way it was.
You wake up feeling like shit, you cried your eyes out the moment you stepped into Seungmin's apartment. He was so sweet to you, staying awake until you calmed down and even offered you his room for you to sleep but you refused. He was already doing you a favor by letting you stay on his couch until he found a roommate.
You sit, stretching yourself, you slept pretty comfortably but all the stress from last night left your muscles sore.
"Are you feeling better?", you hear Seungmin's voice and look at the kitchen, he's making coffee. That reminds you of all the days you woke Han up with a nice and hot coffee so he wouldn't be in a bad mood waking up so early.
"I don't think so", you answer, shaking your head like that would make your thoughts disappear. "Can you get me some of that?", you ask and he smiles.
"Already on it", you start tidying up the blanket and the pillow you used.
"What are you going to do today?", Seungmin asks while you sit at the table.
"I have some tutoring to do and class in the afternoon, maybe I'll go shopping with Hannah later"
"That's good, try to keep yourself entertained at least for the next couple of days", he hands you the mug and you nod.
All your friends knew about your crush on Han and you made all of them swear they wouldn't tell him. You were afraid things would be awkward now, since Han was their friend before you met them, but they all showed you support now that you had confessed.
Hannah had offered you to stay with her, but she has a roommate that's really strict about everything in their apartment and you don't want to cause trouble to your friend by staying there. Luckily Seungmin's last roommate had moved a couple of weeks ago and he was looking for someone new, but by the way he's picky that's not going to happen so soon.
"Since I'll be staying here and you won't accept money because I won't be using a room, the groceries will be on me and I won't accept no for an answer", you say finishing your coffee and getting up. Seungmin sighs, rolling his eyes.
"I know you're going to buy it anyway, so I'll accept it"
"Then send me a list of whatever you need and I'll buy it tonight or tomorrow", you blow him a kiss, picking your bag from the floor and heading to the bathroom.
You take a long, hot, refreshing shower and pick some comfortable clothes to go to your tutoring session.
Seungmin's already gone when you go back to the kitchen, there's a message from him on your phone.
Minnie: I left some sliced fruit in the fridge for you, eat before going out.
Minnie: I'll send you the list later btw
You smile, having someone taking care of you is nice. For a second, it makes you forget the reason why you're there to begin with.
You feel like crying again, but you can't show up to your students house with red eyes and a puffy face.
The parents that are near each other usually ask you to teach their children together in longer sessions. That strengthens the bond the kids have while strengthening the connection between the families. That usually happens when the families are wealthy, they see an opportunity in their children's friendship to get on each other's good side.
Your parents started hanging out with Jisung's parents too, not because of connections but because you two were always in each other's houses. Once, you broke your arm falling from a tree you tried to climb following Han, his mother had to call yours and calm her down on the phone the entire time your mother was driving to the hospital to meet you. That day you got scolded by both and after they finished the lecture they looked at each other and smiled, bonding over the fear of something happening to their precious child.
When they went out to buy some coffee and talk, Jisung sat by the side of your hospital bed, lips pouting and tearing up.
"I'm sorry I dared you to follow me all the way up there", he says, taking the hand of your good arm and holding it.
"It's okay, now at least I have an exciting story to tell the others", you say and he smiles, whipping his eyes.
The noise of the gate opening wakes you up from your daydream, you have to stop thinking about Han if you want to get over him.
The kids come running in your direction the moment the housekeeper opens the door.
"Miss Y/N, look I got a 9.5 on my test", the girl smiles brightly showing you the paper with the grade marked in red.
"Woah, Misu, you're so smart, I don't think you even need me anymore", you bend to her height and she pouts, sometimes she acts like a little child when she's already 12.
"Of course I need you, you're the prettiest and smartest person I know", she says and you hear someone clear their throats by the stairs. It's Misu's mother.
"If I didn't agree with her I'd be hurt", she says and you smile.
"Good morning, Mrs. Kim, I only helped a little, Misu's really smart", you say and the girl shows you her white teeth, looking at her mother and waiting for some praise.
"Of course she is", she pats the girl's head. "Eun, aren't you going to say hi to Y/N?"
The boy is a few months younger than Misu but a lot more shy. You saw him coming with her when you arrived but got so engrossed in your conversation that forgot he was there in silence.
"Hello, miss Y/N", he says, polite as ever.
"Hi, Eun, did you get a good grade like Misu?"
He nods, showing you his test with 9.8 marked in red.
"He's smarter than me", Misu pouts.
"Congratulations, Eun", you say, patting his head, making him blush and you smile. "I think you are both really smart and I'm here to help you get even smarter"
Mrs. Kim tells you to go ahead and start the lesson and invites you to stay for lunch. You were pretty lucky with the parents you met till now, all of them were nice to you and cared a great deal about their children so it's a lighthearted job to do.
The kids are indeed smart, usually you don't have to explain the same thing more than twice and they always ask a lot of questions during your time with them.
A week goes by since you last saw Jisung, fortunately he didn't try contacting you. You're sure that if he did you'd break hearing his voice and would beg for him to like you back, giving up on any pride you still have left.
You arrive at school an hour before your classes begin, you're meeting Hannah at the cafe nearby so you can talk a bit.
You look at your phone, there's a message from her saying she's on the bus but the traffic is awful so she might be a little bit late.
You choose a table by the window, contemplating if you should order already or wait till Hannah arrives.
Looking outside, you remember the moment you heard the news that you got into this university. Yours and Jisung's family were at your parents house, you both were seated on the couch when you received the message saying the college entrance results came out. You couldn't type your information, you were trembling so much Han had to do it for you.
When you read your name and the word "accepted" you actually screamed, making your mother drop the plate she had in hands. Your father and Han's came running to see what happened when Jisung showed them the screen.
Your mother and father embraced you, telling how proud they were of you and Jisung's parents did the same, like you were their own daughter.
Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, spinning you and making you burst out laughing. That moment was so good, you wanted to stay there forever.
"Earth to Y/N", you hear Hanna's voice and snap out of your thoughts, sighing. "Is everything okay?", she asks, worried.
"Yeah, I'm good", you say and she narrows her eyes, knowing you are not telling the truth.
Hannah left it at that though, you are going through a hard time and she doesn't want to push it.
Honestly, she don't expect you to be fine. Your lifelong crush had rejected you and to make things worse he is your best friend, so yeah, of course you are not okay.
"Then, I'm going to order", she drops her bag in the seat in front of you, "your usual?"
You nod, seeing her walk to the cashier. You met Hannah three years ago, when you started college. She's the total opposite of you, really outgoing and a total social butterfly, it seems those are the people you attract seeing how Han is the same.
She sat by your side on the first day, making a random joke and making you laugh, that's how she became your best friend. You didn't even have to tell her about your one sided love, she had to see only one interaction between you and Jisung to know exactly what was going on.
She is the one that urged you to tell him about your feelings and was very adamant about you moving on from him, she couldn't let you waste all your 20's being in love with someone that didn't like you back… or not the way you wanted to.
"So, I heard about a party", Hannah says, putting the pager on the table and sitting in front of you.
"There's like a hundred of those, you have to be more specific", you joke and she rolls her eyes.
"You know that guy from English literature? The one that dyed his hair pink last semester?"
"Yeah, it's kinda hard to forget about him", you laugh.
When Yunho came to school with pink hair a rumor of him becoming an idol started going around, everyone tried to be nice to him and all that shit but it turned out he just lost a bet.
"He's hosting this party in like a really big fancy place to celebrate his graduation", she finishes.
"That's nice", you say, fidgeting with your fingers under the table.
"Hmmm, are we going to go or what?", she asks and you glance at her.
"Were we invited?"
"Ahm, you're hot and I'm hot, why wouldn't we be invited?"
You laugh, knowing what she's doing. Hannah is more sensible than you give her credit for, you really thought she would ask about everything that happened on that night, but instead she has been trying to distract you for the past week and that is really nice of her.
She smiles, seeing you smile. Hannah knows you never give enough credit to yourself, you never think you're pretty enough, funny enough, cool enough or smart enough even though you're those things and much more. She approached you on your first day because there's just something about you, something bright and cheerful. When people are upset, mad or sad you always do your best to make them feel better, so Hannah felt this was her time to cheer you up.
The pager buzzes on the table and she gets up, going to the counter to get your orders.
You look at her coming back with a big grin in her lips, handing you the coffee with a note glued to the cup sleeve.
"To the girl with the yellow cardigan, I see you coming here often and I think you're cute, maybe we can hangout sometime? If you're up to it, text me: xxx xxxx-xxxx"
You blush, looking at the counter and seeing the cutest guy looking at you with flushed cheeks. He's so red you can see it from where you're seated. He smiles waving at you and you wave back.
Hannah has one eyebrow lifted looking at your interaction and you feel your cheeks even hotter.
"So, are you going to text him?", she asks, reading the note and you sigh.
"I don't think so", you say, sipping at your coffee.
"Why not?"
"I don't think it would be fair to someone if I start something with them when I'm still in love with someone else", you answer and Hannah sighs.
"Yeah, you have a point", she pouts, "but like, maybe messing around a little won't hurt? I mean, he's not in love with you or anything, you can talk with each other and see where things go"
Hannah's right and you know it. Even though it's still too soon, you should try meeting new people, you're not going to get over Han just by staying away from him.
This feelings, you have it with you for so long, it's hard to let it go. Loving Han is the only romantic feeling you have ever known, it's scary to walk off of this thing you know so well  to something completely new.
You have to, though. It's the only way for your friendship to keep existing. So you nod to Hannah, taking your phone out of your pocket and dialing the number written on the cup, seconds later you're typing a message.
You: Hey, it's the girl in the yellow cardigan, my name is Y/N btw
You send and hear a ping, you thought he would have his phone on silent mode and sudden embarrassment creeps up when you see him taking his phone out of the pocket of his apron.
Cute guy: Hey, I was afraid of making you uncomfortable, so let me apologize first. I just didn't know how to approach you
Cute guy: Ah, and I'm Heeseung
You change the name in his contact before replying.
You: it didn't make me uncomfortable and thank you for calling me cute.
Heeseung: you don't have to thank me for telling the truth.
You giggle, it's interesting to feel like this, even though you can tell it's something temporary.
You: lol, you're really smooth.
"Let's go?", Hannah says, smirking at you and you blush. You nod, picking your things up and getting up from the table, you wave goodbye to Heeseung before going out and he smiles brightly at you.
>><<
The morning after you went away, Han woke up feeling awful, all the things that happened the previous night coming back at him at the same time. He was sure the moment you walked out of the door, giving him your best smile and trying not to cry was the saddest he ever felt in his entire life. You were his best friend, you were everything to him, he felt like shit because he never noticed your feelings. He doesn't know what he would have done if he knew, but maybe he could have been better, talking less about his relationships and especially not bringing his hook ups to the apartment.
He got up, feeling like crying everytime he had to pass by your bedroom door, knowing you were not there and wouldn't be for far too long, all because of him. The bell rings and he runs to the door, hoping it's you, hoping you'll tell him everything was a joke and that you didn't actually like him. Even though he knows you wouldn't press the doorbell since you know the password and he knows the hurt in your eyes when he said he didn't feel the same as you was no joke.
So it was no surprise when he opened the door and found Chan and Changbin there. They did tell him they were going to stop by in the morning to pick him up but with all the things that happened he just forgot about it.
"Are you okay? You look like shit", Changbin says entering the house.
Chan looks at Han, worried.
"Are you sick?", he asks, "where's Y/N?" He knows you wouldn't leave Han alone if he were sick, but you would have shown up already by hearing Changbin's loud voice.
"She's gone", Han says, running his hands through his hair.
"What do you mean?", Chan asks with wide eyes.
"She- she confessed to me and I turned her down", he says, maybe he should have told you he could like you back, that way he wouldn't be feeling this way and you'd still be there with him.
"Shit", Changbin says, his lips pressed in a thin line.
Han looks at the both of them, why don't they look surprised?
"You guys knew about it?" He asks, a little louder than his usual voice and the boys exchange a look. "Woah, thanks for the heads up"
He shouldn't be mad at them, it's not their fault, but he's already too mad at himself so he doesn't know where else to put the blame.
"It was not our place to tell you", Chan says.
"Does everyone know?", Han asks and Changbin nods, "so I was the only one? Am I dumb or something?"
Chan sighs, "it's not really your fault for not knowing, you probably are used to the way Y/N looks and talks to you because you're best friends since you were children, but to the people outside it is pretty clear from the get go that she likes you"
"But where did she go? Are you not friends anymore?", Changbin asks the difficult questions and Chan glares at him.
"She said she will be staying with Seungmin till he finds a roommate and then she's going to come back"
"She probably just needs some time", Chan says, putting a hand on Han's shoulder trying to reassure him, and he really hopes that's the case.
>><<
You've been texting Heeseung for a few days now and he's pretty nice, he's a dance major and works part time at the cafe to pay for living expenses the same as you do with tutoring.
Hannah had convinced you to go to Yunho's party and get wasted, saying you need the college life experience the most now that you had your first heartbreak but you don't want to think about that, you want to forget that you ever loved Han Jisung.
So you drink a whole bottle of wine before leaving for the party, Seungmin's coming with you and Hannah will meet you there. You are looking good, or maybe it's the alcohol that makes you feel good, your hair is down, you're wearing a black lace cropped top you borrowed from Hannah, with a much lower neckline than you are used to, high waisted jeans and black boots.
The party is already crowded when you and Seungmin get there and it's really a fancy place like Hannah told you.
"Let's grab a drink", you yell to Seungmin.
"You should drink water, you're already drunk", he demands and you show your tongue to him.
"Nooooo, don't be a killjoy"
He sighs, it's hard to convince you of something when you're sober, it's even harder when you're drunk.
"You can have a drink after you drink a cup of water", he tells you and you nod, sounds like a win win for you.
After drinking a whole cup of water you show it to him, waiting for a praise and Seungmin rolls his eyes. What are you, a 10 year old?
"Good job, now you can drink", he gives you a cup with something mixed in it, "but you have to drink some water for each drink you take, okay?"
"Okay, dad", you joke, sipping your drink.
Seungmin knows a lot of people at the party and you feel left out every time someone approaches him so you're really happy when Hannah shows up, with a much taller boy accompanying her.
"Look who I found", she says pointing at him.
"Heeseung?", you scream, startling Seungmin who's close to you.
"Jesus, Y/N, calm down", he says putting his hand over his ear, "I'm a singer, I can't lose my hearing", he says and you pout, whining an apology even though you know he's not really mad.
"I didn't know you were gonna be here", Heeseung gets closer to you, side eyeing Seungmin.
"I didn't want to come, Hannah made me", you tell him, "this is Seungmin, he's my friend"
He nods at the boy by your side, relaxing to hear you call Seungmin a friend.
"Hey, Minnie, let's go dance?", Hannah says and Seungmin narrows his eyes suspiciously.
"I don't dance", he answers, crossing his arms and she sighs.
"For fucking sake, just come with me", she says and Seungmin follows her without more questions, he knows too well not to mess with her when she gets angry.
"You look really pretty", Heeseung says, bending a little to lessen the difference in your height. You blush even though it's not as good hearing him saying that as it was when Han complimented you, but you're trying to get over that, aren't you?
"Thanks, you look hot too", you hiccup, you don't have a filter when you're drunk. He smiles, turning around on the table and pouring you a cup of water.
"Drink this, it's going to help", he hands it to you.
"Thank you, you're so sweet and handsome", you yell again but he doesn't flinch like Seungmin did.
"You can't keep saying these kinds of things and not want me to kiss you", he says and you smile, sly.
"Who says I don't want that?", the moment he comprehends what you just said his face reddens, and he thought he was being bold.
"Once you sober up we can talk about that", he tells you and you pout. You wanted to kiss him now, maybe if you did all the hurt you were feeling would go away. Maybe you just needed someone to make you forget about Jisung.
"But I want it now", you cross your arms, behaving like a child that didn't get their way.
"Do you like dancing?", he changes the subject. Your face brightens with his question.
"I LOVE dancing", you show him the choreography to queencard that's playing on the dance floor and he laughs at your messy steps, he's sure you're much better at it while sober.
"Then drink this and let's dance", he hands you another cup of water.
"Seungmin told me I could have a drink after a cup of water, but this makes two cups of water and no drink", you point out and Heeseung can't help but find the drunk you really cute.
"This water will help you so you won't have a bad hangover tomorrow", he says and you nod, that's a good point.
Super by seventeen starts playing and you finish downing the water, grabbing Heeseung's hand and dragging him to the dance floor.
Being a dance major, of course he knows the steps and he's so good there are moments you just stop and watch him in a daze. Actually, he knows the steps to every song playing after that too, you dance so much you're all sweaty and your legs are tired. You're totally sober now, feeling ecstatic. It's so good being at a party having so much fun.
You're jumping and smiling until you see him.
You stop in your tracks seeing Han Jisung staring at you from the other side of the dance floor, your smile fades away as soon as your eyes lock with his.
He looks sick, he lost a lot of weight considering the short period of time you haven't seen each other and he wasn't smiling like he always did. He takes a step in your direction and you automatically step away, your stomach sinking.
You're feeling your heart beat so fast it's overlapping with the loud music, you gulp feeling your legs weaken, why the hell are you having this reaction? He's the same Han Jisung you've known since you were a child, the only difference now is that he knows how you feel about him.
You can't avoid him until you get over your feelings, that won't work and you know it, you have to get used to being near him feeling nothing other than friendship, but you can't see him at that moment, you just can't. You're having fun, there's a handsome guy with you and you want to like him and not Jisung.
You grab Heeseung's hand and pull him away from the dance floor, walking outside so you can breathe some fresh air.
"Did something happen?", he asks, looking confused and worried.
"It just felt stiff in there for a moment", you say and he nods.
You didn't want to explain to him why you were not speaking to your best friend and how messed up your relationship with Han is right now. You want to forget about it and your way of doing it is right by your side, handsome and available.
"So, about that thing you said we could do once I sobered up… I'm sober now", you say and he blushes, analyzing you for a moment to see if you are telling the truth.
The last drink you took was more than an hour ago and you drank so much water after that, it's a miracle you still don't have to use the toilet.
"I don't want to do something you'll regret later", he says and you appreciate how considerate he is. But right now you don't want someone considerate, you want someone that'll sweep you off your feet and help you forget what you so desperately want to. So you get closer, caging him against the wall and tiptoeing, trying to get closer to his face.
"If you don't want to, it's okay. But if you're holding back because you think I'm drunk, I'm not", that was his cue to kiss you. His lips crashing sloppily onto yours, hands cupping your face then moving down to your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck trying to get closer than you already are. He's good, you've kissed enough people in your life to know that, yet you feel sick.
You feel bad and like a horrible person because you just know he can't compare to Jisung even though you never kissed your best friend.
You feel bad thinking about someone else while kissing Heeseung, he's so nice and sweet and you know he's not fooling around, if you give him the chance he's going to truly like you and you're only using him.
You step away sighing, seeing his brows furrowed and the confusion in his eyes.
"Was it that bad?", he jokes but you can see he's feeling hurt. "I'm not trying to brag, but I never got a reaction like that after a kiss"
You smile apologetically, looking for words to explain yourself.
"It was great and you're great", you begin, "I think you're too sweet, that's why I can't lead you on"
"What are you talking about?" he asks, even more confused.
"I'm in love with someone else and I know it sounds awful, I did try to get over him with you but I feel like you'll really like me if we don't stop right now and I'm not sure if I'll be able to be that person for you", you look at him, seeing the disappointment in his face. "I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person and you can hate me if you want"
He stares at you for a few moments, sighing and giving you a reassuring smile after.
"I don't think you're terrible, I think you're truly brave for coming clean like that", you're relieved, you were afraid he would say something mean and even though you feel like you deserve it, you're really fragile right now. "Thank you for telling me before I got too deep into this and I don't know, maybe we can be friends?"
"Absolutely, I would love that"
"So, do you want to go back inside?", he asks and you shake your head.
"I don't think so, I should probably go home", you say, you don't want to go back there to see Han again.
"Do you want me to take you home?"
"It's okay, I'm going to text Seungmin and see where he's at but you can go inside, I'm going to stay here and get some more fresh air"
"Alright, I'll see you at the cafe"
You nod, seeing him walk away. Woah, you just let that masterpiece of a man go because you can't forget about a fucking unrequited love. You curse yourself, slapping your forehead.
After that, you text Seungmin telling where you are and asking where the hell he and Hannah went, sending the same message to her and waiting for their answer.
You sit on the grass, taking a deep breath. You feel a bit sick after seeing Jisung, you never thought you'd feel that way. Never in your worst nightmares did you think you would be afraid to talk to him, maybe you're scared of talking to him and feeling nothing, what if all of this was just in your head and you just needed some time apart to figure it out?
You hear steps close to you and pray it's not some horny couple trying to fuck near you, however, the moment you lay eyes on your best friend you actually wish it was a horny couple.
You get up in a jump, your stomach sinking and your head spinning. Why does it hurt so much suddenly? It feels like your chest is being torn apart and you can't do a thing to make it better.
Jisung looks worse up close, he has huge bags under his eyes and he's too pale.
You're worried about him, even though you can't have the luxury of that. Not when your insides are all messed up and you want to throw up. You walk past him without saying a word, you can't handle this right now, but he grabs your wrist holding you in place. You don't look at him, staring at the floor trying to get out of his grip.
"I miss you", he says and your heart drops to your stomach. Why is he doing this to you? It's not like being apart from your best friend is fun to you. "Can't you look at me?", he pleads but you can't find the courage to do that yet. "Please", but he sounds so desperate, you force yourself to do it.
You look at him, he's obviously drunk. Who the hell let him drink this much?
"What is it?", you sound more spiteful than you were planning and his eyes widen, releasing your arm from his grasp.
"Do you hate me now?", he asks and you sigh.
"Of course I don't hate you, you're my best friend", you say that but for some reason it doesn't feel right, it doesn't sound like the truth.
"Can't you come back home? I feel like shit everytime I wake up and you're not there"
"I told you I need time", you say, running your hands through your hair.
"Are you going to forget about me by fucking some random dude?", he asks and you glare at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I don't understand how that's any of your business"
"It is, because you told me you love me but you act like you never want to see my face again", he scoffs.
You feel mad, what's he trying to say? Should you keep hurting just because you love him?
"I can't sit around forever, waiting for you to look at me", you say and he steps closer to you.
"I'm looking at you right now, I- I'll be good to you, I'll like you back", the moment he finishes saying that, you can't control the tears running through your eyes.
Is that supposed to be good? He would be forced to date you so he could have you close to him?
"Why are you doing this to me?" You ask and he takes a step back startled with you tears, suddenly sobering up, "it's not easy for me to be away from you, you're my best friend, but I do have some bit of dignity left in me and I won't accept less than I deserve, even if that less is the man I love with me", you wipe your tears seeing him step closer, trying to reach your hand and you step away, "don't come close to me right now, I could never stay with you knowing you don't love me, you should know that"
You turn around trying to get away from him but stop on your tracks seeing Hannah, Seungmin, Chan and Changbin right there looking at you awkwardly. Of course, the humiliation is the cherry on the top. You pass through them feeling so embarrassed you want the earth to swallow you.
The ride home is awkward and silent. Hannah and Seungmin keep exchanging looks while you look out the window trying to figure how your life became this mess.
You really should have dated Jeongho when he asked you out in middle school, it was around that time that you realized you liked Han more than just a friend—when Haneul asked to be his date to the school festival and you wanted to punch her so hard. Maybe if you had dated that boy at that time you would have forgotten the feelings you had for your friend, maybe you would have brushed it off as some childhood crush, but no, you rejected Jeongho while Han went with Haneul to the school festival and you third wheeled the whole event earning nasty glances from her every time your best friend played two times the same game so he could win you a plush too.
Back then you still thought everything would be okay, if only you had him everything would be okay.
You start bawling without notice, crying so much you can't even breathe. Seungmin stops the car and Hannah gets to the back, hugging you and caressing your hair while whispering that everything will be fine and you really want to believe her.
You don't know how you got into Seungmin's apartment, you guess he carried you inside after dropping Hannah home but you're not sure. It's sunday so he's not up yet for you to ask and it doesn't actually matter, what matters is the absolutely pathetic scene you made at the party and in the car. You want to bury yourself into a hole and never come back, how the hell are you going to face your friends after they saw you being humiliated by Han like that?
You know he was drunk, of course he was. You know he didn't mean it, he was hurt and drunk and people act on feelings not reason when they are like that. But does he think you have no pride? Does he really think you would date him knowing he doesn't like you back?
It's different when you confessed to him, you knew he didn't like you that way. But if he told you that there was something there, that he was not going to promise you anything but someday he may like you back, that's all you needed to hear. However, that didn't happen. He told you with all the words that he doesn't like that way, that he doesn't feel the same way as you do, there was no room for interpretation, no room for what if's.
You get up, in need to distract yourself. This week is going to fly by, you have tutoring lessons using up all your free time so you just have to get through the day.
There are a lot of messages on your phone, you really don't want to read them because you know that other than Hannah's, it's awkward comforting words from your other friends.
Hannah: call me when you wake up
Hannah: let's go eat something delicious, what do you think? It's on me.
Hannah: are you still not up or are you ignoring me?
You: I just woke up, calm down girl
You: why would I ignore you though? I just have to brush my teeth and eat something then I'll call you.
Binnie: morning babes
Binnie: Hannie is such an asshole
Binnie: I'll date you if you want, you're hot it's a win win for me
You chuckle to Changbin texts, he's so sweet in the weirdest way.
You: I mean, you're hot too
You: I think we'd make an awesome couple
Chan: good morning, Y/N
Chan: we didn't hear anything last night, so please, don't be awkward or embarrassed around us.
You: good morning Channie, I know you heard
You: you should have matched your story with Changbin before texting me though
You: it's okay, alright? Of course I'll be embarrassed for the time being, but we're friends I won't be embarrassed forever.
You leave your phone on the couch and go to the bathroom. You look like shit, smeared makeup, hair disgusting and you're still wearing the same clothes. You turn on the hot water, taking your clothes off and entering the shower, the warmth embracing you as you feel more relaxed.
You put on something comfortable, it's Sunday, you're going to ask Hannah to come by and you're going to order takeout.
You call her number while eating because you know she's anxious.
"Hey babes, good morning", she picks up, cheerful as always.
"Good morning", you say, biting the toast you just made.
"So, what about going out and eating something really good?", she asks.
"Hm, I'm actually not in the mood to go out? Can't you come by, we order something and watch that movie you've been bugging me for the last month?"
"Yeah, sure. We can do that", she answers and you are happy she doesn't sound upset or disappointed. With all the shit you're pulling lately you're scared your friends are going to get tired of your bullshit and stop talking to you. You used to think no one wanted a friend that's always crying and whining, but they showed you that real friends help each other.
"So what time are you gonna come?"
"I will just take a shower and wait for the bus, so in maybe like an hour?", she guesses and you nod forgetting she can't see you.
"Okay, see you then"
You decide to clean the house while waiting, Seungmin is pretty organized and clean so there's nothing too difficult. You'll just wash the dishes and vacuum a little.
Hannah arrives later than she predicted, Seungmin is already up and cleaning his room. He scolded you because it's his day to do the dishes and you shouldn't have done it because it's not fair to you.
You think he's being extra nice to you because of what happened the night before and it's true, he was really scared when you cried in his car.
He has known you for almost five years and he never saw you cry like that, even on the night you came to his house after confessing to Han you didn't cry like that. This time was different, you had a soul crushing cry, he wanted to stop the car and go to the back to hug you the same as Hannah, but he knew you were already being comforted by the perfect person.
Han is his friend, he could never choose between you two. But he couldn't deny it, that was a dick move, how could he ever say that to someone that likes him? He basically told you that he could pretend to like you if you stayed with him.
And of course, Seungmin understands the fear of losing a friend, but doing what he did just increases the chances of you never wanting to see his face again.
You are seated on the couch, watching the movie Hannah is obsessed with at the moment. She already watched it five times alone and asks anyone she can find to watch it again with her, she even repeats some sentences together with the characters.
The pizza you ordered is almost gone, you didn't know you were so hungry until the smell hit your nose. Luckily or thanks to Seungmin and Heeseung, your hangover is not that bad and you want it to stay that way so you keep drinking lots of water.
You got through the day thanks to your friends, they kept you entertained the whole time so you wouldn't overthink or even think about Han.
You are doing that just now, looking at the ceiling in the dark room. You want it all to be a dream, maybe you would wake up tomorrow and still be in middle school, you'd take the opportunity and get over him at that time, that would have spared you of some big problems.
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A/N: So, I don't know how many parts this fic will have. If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing.
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hyunniesgirl · 23 days
Text
Cute 🥺
Their s/o is a songwriter
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Pairing: idol Ot8!skz × songwriter Gn!reader (individually)
Genre: fluff, headcanon, idol!au
Request: so what if skz finding out their partner is a song writer / composer? bonus points if the skz members also found out that they wrote their favourite song :>
Warnings: reader is implied to write for Kpop most of the time, not proofread.
A/n: as a songwriter, I appreciate this request a whole lot lmao. Thank you for requesting, I hope you like it!
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Bang Chan
Honestly, I think this is something he would find out before dating you
Man knows everyone in the whole entertainment industry
Ofc he knows who you are
If anything, the way you both got to know each other more was through working together to make a stray kids song
Overall, I think he would love to have a partner in the industry
Even if you never get to be on stage
Simply because you understand him more than other people do
You know how music is essential and demanding at the same time
Your job probably makes him feel more connected to you
He likes to joke that you're the newest member of 3Racha
Always sends you songs he made your you to listen
And wants you to do the same
You can send him an audio at 1AM and bro will listen to it right away, ready to give you his opinion and advice (and praise)
Lee Know
Poor stray kids and stay
They will be listening to the songs you worked on nonstop
He just happens to be your biggest supporter 🤷🏻‍♀️
Has a whole 10 hours playlist with all of your work
Knows every lyric even if they aren't Korean
And he also enjoys dancing to it very much
Even if the song doesn't have a choreo, he likes to make up his own by listening to what you did
Probably invented a few trends with your songs because of it lmao
He also listens to it a lot when he's on tour
Even if it's not your voice that he's listening to, it's still you somewhat
He just wants to feel close to you
Asks you to sing or play the songs you produced
Might or might not have a small compilation of audios of you singing when he's way too homesick
(And if you wrote his favourite song, he would definitely have an audio of you singing it)
Changbin
Sees you as a very big inspiration
The amount of times he listened to one of your songs so he could get out of creative block is crazy
If anything, he probably already saw you as a role model before even getting to personally know you
Imagine the seo changbin fan boying you
If you write for other K-pop groups/soloists, he's probably trying to make references of what you wrote in his own rap
Fans always think he's talking about a certain idol or something but he really is just trying to include you in his work😭
And he would beg to have at least one stray kids song cowrote by you
Like literally begging
He needs to have one small Collab with you at least once
And will get a little pouty every time you can't work with skz because you're with another group at the moment
Hyunjin
Loves to have songwriting dates with you
Usually releases the songs you both write (with your permission ofc) as a skz-recorder
Stays are starting to wonder who is that composer/songwriter who is behind every single song Hyunjin is in lmao
I remember he said that one of his goals for 2024 was to produce more
So he will 100% seek your advice and even ask for some particular lessons at times
And he is always a little bit shy when he's about to show you what he's been working on
Because he feels like you are THE songwriter
And you're also his partner so like
Your opinion is a very big deal
And he's also so excited when you let him listen to a preview of your newest work
Is always awestruck
(Any song of yours would be his favourite lmao, and the best part of it is that he means it)
Han
He would LOVE to have a partner in the industry
Or just connected to art somehow, even if it's just a hobbie
I mean, look at his lyrics
Bro inhales and exhales art
The fact that you understand this side of him and even share this interest is so what he needed
He's also very very helpful when you need to write songs
I see late night dates in the studio
Even when any of you is far away for whatever reason
It can be 2am in Korea, he will be on his phone more than willing to listen to you brainstorm
Brainstorming with Han would be very fun overall lmao
It's either going to be the most sentimental thing to ever exist or it's going to be complete nonsense lmao
Oh and he would also make a lot of references to things you wrote
And would be so so so so happy if you ever made a reference to a work of his
Felix
I remember he said once that if he wasn't an idol, he would like to be a professional songwriter
So the fact that YOU are a songwriter/producer
He kinda loves you a little bit too much
One thing he loves is to understand your thought process
If you ever let him see your notes,he will try his best to understand every little thing
Even if it's only words with no correlation all over the page
He loves to know how your mind works
And he wants to know where the inspiration comes from!
(If it's from him he will never shut up about it)
Loves to know the stories behind each one of your works
He feels like he gets to know you a little more every time he listens to something that is yours
Is always covering one of your songs on lives
Seungmin
Literally everything you could've asked for, both in the dating aspects and in professional aspects
He makes sure you never overwork but will never restrain you from your work
Like, he knows that sometimes the inspiration comes at 2AM. He won't shut off your notebook, he'll be up with you and guarantee you don't stress
And he's your most honest critic
If you need help with rhymes, structure, chords or whatever, he is there
(After dating him you rarely browse anything at Google anymore, seungmin always understands the specific vibes you want)
And if you are a songwriter/ composer who doesn't know how to sing (that's me criticising myself) he always volunteers to make the demo for your songs
As I said, everything you could've ever asked for in a partner and coworker
I.N
Now this one
The moment he discovered he was begging to see some of your work
It's crazy how many of your songs were included in the playlist he has of songs that remind him of you😭
Talk about soulmates
I also believe that he would love to help you with songs
Give him one chance and this man is already with a notebook open trying to come up with the best verse ever
But he really likes to hear you brainstorm as well
Just you in your comfort zone really makes him admire you
And he loves how he can feel closer to you
Just reading the lyrics you wrote ou listening to the beat you produced makes him feel like he is meeting you for the first time again
Always having a new impression of you
Will also sing any demos you want him to!
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Masterlist | you'll probably like: if skz wrote a song for you
Reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Taglist: @yuyubeans
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