#that's why i love it like it's terrifying when you see all the little details of this story and how everything ties together
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spoilers for 2.1 !!!!!!!
aventurine rant, please keep in my mind that these are my own thoughts and interpretations. im extremely sleep deprived lol so im sorry if i got anything wrong
something thats been on my mind since yesterday are these lines.
from the start to me, it was very clear aventurine had self esteem/worth issues because of how he treats his own life, but the line that says “the other hand is below the table, clutching your chips for dear life” stuck out to me.
i always assumed aventurine was so incredibly confident in his luck but in reality he is afraid. he’s terrified that he’ll lose. it’s an act. he convinces himself, he fools himself, he forces himself to act like he’s confident he’ll win, when in reality even if he does win, he’s still clutching his chips under the table for dear life because of how terrified he is of losing.
that really messed with me to be honest. i feel tricked and what’s ironic is that he tricks his opponents into thinking he’s confident, and he also tricked ME the player but really, this made my heart break in two because i had absolutely no clue up until now.
so why does he act this way
all throughout his life, aventurine has had his pride stripped away. just try to imagine being in his shoes. i myself do not think i could deal with the situations he was put in. i cannot stress this enough, aventurine has a mark on his neck that screams to him that he has once belonged to someone. he has had his pride stripped away from him countless times. but it’s ironic because aventurine is introduced as a very prideful and flashy man. you start to realize the front aventurine puts on is his own way of protecting himself. it’s how he’s able to live basically. i wanna go into more detail but i will later.
as it was said before, aventurine is an uptight person who worries. he is extremely afraid of losing and he has a massive inferiority complex. aventurine may seem like a go lucky person on the outside, but in actuality he is not. he is not happy. he has no self worth, he believes he has nothing to live for, and he has no problem with throwing his life away. aventurine believes the only good thing he brings to the table is his luck.
but this brings me to my next point.
aventurine may not realize it, but he is so much more than his luck. he has so many good qualities and he doesn’t seem to realize it. even if some of it may be an act, he’s still able to pull it off. he’s still an intelligent business man who is both charming and cunning EVEN if it may be an act, those are still amazing qualities to have in his line of work.
but more importantly, aventurine chose to live. despite witnessing his family die, being a slave, and tortured, he chose to live. he chooses to. i cannot stress this enough. this man has gone through hell and back. he truly has had an incredibly difficult life to the point where my heart hurts so so badly for him. he made the decision to stay alive.
that says more than enough about his character.
and last but not least, aventurine wants one thing, and that is to be with his family. he’s witnessed horrible things in his life that no one should ever go through. he lost everyone close to him, he lost his people. he has nothing to live for and he values his life so little to the point where he has no problem with dying. the only real thing that he wants is just to see his family.
and he will one day, but in the meantime, i genuinely hope this man can find a reason to live, and ratio already gave him one just by that note. i just truly wish aventurine happiness while he lives the rest of his life.
i guess this is a topic that really hits me hard because i know all too well that choosing to live life isn’t easy sometimes and i just love aventurine.
let’s all appreciate how truly amazing his character is.
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science class [e.w]
pairing: loser!ellie x cheerleader!reader
summary: when a new cheerleader arrives at ellie's college, face all dolled up and skirt-clad hips swaying, she all but wants to die.
warnings: smut, 18+ mdni, poc friendly, smoking, bottom!ellie, dom!fem!reader, tribbing, cunnilingus, nipple play, sorta thigh riding, overstim ‼️, ellie comes like five times
wc: 3.6k
top notes: I like accidentally made ellie sort of autistic but it's not my fault okay. also when I was writing this I was thinking abt how if this was a novel the reader would be black but I'm white so idk if I can like write that without like getting something wrong but sorry anyway
sometimes ellie wished she was blind. she wished that she couldn't see pretty girls, because maybe then she wouldn't fall in love with everybody. especially you.
she was two weeks into her sophomore year of college when you showed up. immediately blinded by your beauty, she almost tripped down the hallway as you walked past, in a short little skirt, and a white shirt. your ponytail flicked as you walked by, meeting up with someone you knew already.
she knew she was fucked.
when she arrived at her class, she was astounded to see that you were sitting in the seat next to hers, chewing gum and typing on your computer with cute blue light glasses on. like it was nothing. like her world wasn't crashing down in front of her.
standing in the corner of the lecture room, she debated moving seats. there were plenty of open ones, but you chose the one next to her? how was she supposed to survive this class with a pretty girl next to her, observing everything she does?
the answer is, she wasn't going to.
she was simply going to perish from the sight of you, from being in your presence, because she certainly didn't deserve to be and-
"ellie, would you please sit down? you're creeping me out." her teacher said, and she shifted nervously, then sped to her seat with her gaze trained at the floor. "okay, let's dive in, shall we?"
and the lecture continued. like you weren't right there. she couldn't understand why everyone in the world wasn't looking at you right now, absolutely entrancing, the way you took cute aesthetic notes and reapplied your shiny clear lip gloss.
"ellie?" you said, hoping she truly answered to that. she turned, meeting your eyes with a nervous smile and rosey red cheeks. "hi. I'm y/n. I just wanted to tell you that I like your sweatshirt."
it was a ratty old thing that joel had given her years ago, with a faded queens logo and a hole in the armpit that she had to sew back together every time she washed the poor hoodie.
"it's nice to meet you," she said quietly, tucking back a piece of hair that had fallen into her face. she realized how strange she must've looked and stopped quickly, "my dad gave it to me when I was like 11. I've had it forever."
you giggled. you just fucking.. giggled. "you aren't one of those people who just wears it because it's cool though, right?" ellie shook her head violently.
"no, I love their music. I wish I was born in the eightees so I could've listened to them live and.. yeah. I really like them." she turned away from you ever so slightly, nervously over talking and terrified that she was embarrassing herself.
"hey, you're good. I wish I was too. my favorite song is probably back chat, but keep yourself alive is a close second. how about you?" and you let this loser girl next to you talk. and talk. and talk.
ellie didn't know that you were intrigued by her demeanor in every way. from the stickers on her lap top to the patches on her backpack, every detail about her you noticed. you observed the way she warmed up to people and let you strike up a conversation with her about anything once you knew her. and it was... cute. really fucking adorable.
ellie's life only got a million times harder after that. to add to her series of neverending death sentences, she now had to see you in your perfect makeup and effortless outfits everyday. instead of just showing up to class, you insisted on talking to ellie. about everything. cheer, your friends, some dude that was hitting on you.
and on top of that? she saw you in the hallways, or on campus and you smiled. waved, even. some days you even talked to her. in public. you weren't afraid to be friends with her. and though she had jesse and dina, she still had very little social experience, and you were like a breath of fresh air.
on a chilly wednesday afternoon, ellie was walking to the building that your class had been in, and caught a glance of some other lesbian couple on campus. that settled it. she was going to ask for your number today, it wasn't like she was proposing marriage. just something simple. easy.
"can I have your number?" she interrupted you mid-sentence. and you smiled. of course you fucking smiled. she prepared herself for the notorious rejection, after hearing rumors of you rejecting everyone that came up to you and asked for your socials we. she wasn't just anyone, though.
"duh, you only took forever to ask." ellie was frozen in place. had you wanted her to ask? couldn't you have asked for hers? but before she could overthink too much, you were shoving your phone in her face and ellie was putting her number in. "anyway, as I was saying.."
ellie tuned out what you were saying, purely by accident. there were too many big events going on in her life for her poor brain to handle. the love of her life just agreed to give her their number, and she was plotting her route to dina's dorm as quickly as possible to tell her everything.
"holy shit dina," she huffed, running her hands through her hair. "I asked for her number so she gave it to me, and we talked! dina, we talked. about things. I already have our life planned out. we're gonna have two kids and a dog, she'll be a stay at home mom, because I'll do everything for her. I would kill for this girl, dina." dina was unimpressed.
"you are such a loser, els. has anyone told you that before?" she wasn't a loser, she was just incredibly and obsessively in love with you. ellie rolled her eyes. "I say make a move. you never know what could come of it."
"I can't," she sighed, trying to find words. "I can't just make a move, what if she doesn't like me? what if she thinks I'm weird?" she frowned.
"you are weird. if she doesn't like you like that, then fuck her. maybe start with being friends?" ellie nodded. she thought you guys were already friends, but technically you never hung out outside of class, and you hadn't really texted that much (she got your number today, but that hardly mattered).
"should I invite her to jesse's on friday?" dina rubbed the back of her neck. jesse was in a frat, one of the largest on campus that had absolutely wild parties on the weekends, which weren't exactly the best place for first dates. but to ellie... smoking and drinking around hot people in a random basement? amazing.
"if you think she's into that, I'm not gonna stop you." ellie was up and out of dina's apartment quickly, biking back to the dorms and planning out everything that was going to happen on friday.
- - -
in ellie's defense, she overslept. she wasn't thinking much about grabbing a jacket when she was already going to be ten minutes late, so when she stopped outside and the cool air hit her like a brick, she was less than prepared. but it hardly mattered. today was the day she was going to invite you to jesse's party, so her stupid jacket was like a blip on her radar.
"ellie, you're turning blue." you said, once ellie stumbled into her seat next to you. she was in nothing but a loose fitting tee-shirt and jeans, nothing to protect her petite figure. you hadn't noticed before how toned her arms were, but you certainly did now.
"I'm fine, it-it-it's not that cold." her teeth chattered as she stealthy tried to rub her hands over her arms to create friction.
"ellie, baby, I have an extra sweatshirt," you giggled when her eyes widened, grabbing the sweatshirt and handing it to her. "wash it and return it to me whenever." it was a bland black sweatshirt, but it matched your outfit, and you were more than happy to give it to ellie.
ellie who was most definitely going to pass out. she was probably just cold. it wasn't because she could smell your perfume on your hoodie that you just handed her. like it was nothing. she was going to fall out of her chair, onto the floor, and die.
"thanks," she pulled it over her head and sunk into it. "I'll give it back next class- what are you doing on friday?" she tried to get her thoughts straight while you looked at her with an adorable smile.
"I'm actually packing up and leaving, I dropped out," ellie's face fell, "oh ellie you're face," you laughed hard, and her expression softened. "but I'm not doing anything. why? wanna ask me out?" ellie was definitely blushing hard.
"my friend jesse is having a party at his frat on friday, do you.. do you maybe wanna go?" you tilted your head and looked away, as if you actually needed to think about it.
"hm, I guess I can fit that into my schedule." ellie released the breath she was holding and looked down at her hands for a moment before meeting your eyes again.
"uh that's great. it's kappa alpha, at nine. I would pick you up but I don't have a car,"
"how about I pick you up? what's your dorm number?" ellie texted you all the details, and it was settled. you were going on a date. together. in two days, and you were driving. ellie was on cloud nine- not even, cloud fucking ten.
- - -
"hey els," you giggled as she opened her dorm door. "oh, you look so cute! I'm definitely stealing this from you." you pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and messed with the corner of her collar, attached to a red flannel.
"oh thanks... it's yours if you want it." you knew if you asked she wouldn't ever have you give it back, maybe even give it to you right now. she stepped out of her room and shut the door, then followed you down the hallway.
"so who's this jesse kid? I hear a lot about him." you asked, turning on the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. the frat was on the other side of campus and ellie planned on walking? laughable.
"I really don't know him that well, he's dating my friend dina. he's a big stoner, but he's not super into the party scene. just goes 'cause the frat does." her eyes were trained out the window, not because she didn't want to listen to you, but because she was insatiably nervous.
"nice, nice." you paused for a moment. "are we gonna dance together or what? gonna save me a slow dance?" the tips of ellie's ears turned red.
"because I have such a roster." she joked, rolling her eyes. she would save every dance for you.
"perfect. is jesse's weed good?" she shrugged.
"it's okay. not as good as mine, and his plug is kinda shitty. whatever, it works. we're here." you pulled the car to a stop against the curb, in awe at how many people were coming in and out of the house.
ellie desperately needed to get high. maybe then she could talk to you like a normal person, not like she was trying to brush you off. when she found jesse, he was talking to dina and brushed her off. with a groan, she turned to find some other seller.
you were talking to someone, pretending not to pay attention to ellie skittering around the house talking to people she knew. maybe she wasn't as much of a loser as you thought, or maybe she was just a stoner. one of them. either way, she kept disappearing, but when you finally found her again, she was sitting on a couch, joint hanging from her lips as she talked with some friends.
"els," you fell next to her, taking the joint out of her mouth and taking a hit. "we should play beer pong." you suggested, smiling at her the way she liked.
"we were just talking about that," dina cut in, "me and jesse will play with you guys, won't we jes?" he turned back towards the three of you, dazed and a little confused. "that's a yes." ellie was burning lasers into dina, who was standing.
one of the tables was empty, and the group immediately moved to occupy it. you took your place next to ellie, teaming up with dina who was smirking at the end of the table. "you go first," you handed ellie the small white ball.
ellie was skilled, that's for sure. she made almost every single point, which had jesse drinking until he couldn't see straight. she was trying so hard not to focus on the way your bicep brushed against hers, and the way you giggled whenever you made a point. it just wasn't fair. none of this was fair.
"I definitely won." ellie said, as you made your way back inside. "you had, like, two drinks, max. I had jesse drinking for miles." you could tell she was on something now, the way she grinned and made eye contact and jokes were far from her usual character.
"don't you owe me a dance?" your hand locked with hers as you gently pulled her in the direction of where most people were dancing. you lifted her arm and spun her, pulling her back against your front by her hips.
ellie surely wasn't breathing. she was sure that she had died from alcohol consumption, or maybe someone stabbed her, and she was dead, in heaven. or a fever dream in a coma. there was no way in hell -in hell- that you were swaying your hips against her ass, cunt so fucking close to where she desperately needed you.
"this is fun, don'tcha think, ellie?" you whispered, voice low as you guided her hips with yours. her head fell back against your shoulder, alcohol wearing off as you ground her hips against your front. "I asked you a question, darlin."
"so fun," she muttered, eyes closed as she let you bring her hips back and forth with yours to the beat of the music. "wanna go upstairs?"
"ellie williams inviting me upstairs on the first date? dirty." you giggled, pulling away from her body. she was flushed, her boxers were already wet, and she had no clue what going upstairs entailed. but she needed you regardless. "lead the way, confident." she ran her sweaty hands down the front of her jeans and led you upstairs, to an empty bedroom. it was jesse's, and he wouldn't ever know.. right?
you were pulling her face against yours before she even got a chance to tell you that she didn't know what to do. you were definitely taking the lead on this one - not that ellie objected in any sense.
you nicked her bottom lip, eliciting blood at how chapped they were. you pushed your tongue into her mouth, smiling when she moaned and pulled you in by your waist. your hands traveled, brushing against her tits from beneath her tee shirt. obviously she didn't wear a bra, she was too cool and masc for that.
"you're desperate els," you sneered when you pulled away, pulling your crop top up and over your head. "take off your shirt and pants and lay down." ellie had no thoughts in her head; just you. you telling her to strip. this definitely wasn't a fever dream.
she quickly lost her shirt and pants, leaving lanky limbs and embarrassing boxers. her nipples were perked up, waiting to be sucked and slapped, and her face was red with a never ending blush.
when she laid down, you got on top of her, pushing her legs up around your waist as you sucked hickey after hickey into her neck. she was writhing and whining, begging for you to touch her further than just your hands still placed on her thighs. just from making out and hickies she was pushing her hips into you, clit hitting the fabric of your skirt as you moved to push your thigh between her legs.
"need you so bad," she whimpered when you finally diverted your attention from her neck down her chest. you left soft kisses between her tits and around them, before taking her nipple in your mouth and harshly sucking. like a false sense of security.
her hips were coming down hard and fast against your knee as you continued to mess with her tits, pulling her nipples between your fingers and grazing them with your teeth. she was just so fucking sensitive, and she barely even smoked anything.
knowing she was getting close, you moved your knee and kissed down her sternum, leaving a trail of shiny gloss as you got to the waistband of her boxers. "oh, poor baby, you've been waiting for this, haven't you?" you ran your thumb over the wet patch of her underwear.
"nghh- for so long," she moaned as her hips rutted into your palm. "I think about y- fuck- think about you when I..when I come," her eyes squeezed shut in embarrassment, knowing she was sharing far more than she needed to.
"do you now?" you teased, pulling her boxers down her pale legs. you added them to the pile of clothes and admired how absolutely drenched she was, practically leaking onto the sheets. "what do you think about, princess?" you were bringing her legs over your shoulders, looking at her expectantly.
"think about you- mh- about this," she was immediately distracted by the way you kissed her clit. "about c-cuming on your- shit shit fuck," you pressed your tongue against her clit and licked, before sucking it into your mouth and painting patterns with your tongue.
after keeping your attention directly on her clit for a few minutes, you circled her entrance with your middle finger, lubing it up before pushing it in to the first knuckle and fuck, she was tight, holding onto your finger to the point you could hardly thrust.
"ellie, you gotta relax. we can stop if you want to." she shook her head violently, unclenching her eyes and trying to breathe. her body released its tension, which made everything less tense, allowing you to push your finger the rest of the way in.
and... she came. just like that, barely a finger deep her cunt, barely doing anything.
"jesus ellie," you laughed to yourself. you didn't wait for her to finish before you started fucking your finger into her. she whined and thrashed to get away from your hand, but you added another finger and pressed down on her hip to steady her. you curled your fingers up just enough to hit that sweet spot inside of her and she almost black out.
"fuck- s'too much.. s'too much," she slurred, drunk on your fingers. the bed shook lightly against the wall at the harshness of your thrusts.
"is it really, baby?" you grinned, before taking her clit in your mouth again. her moans were practically louder than the music downstairs, and her back was arching. she attempted to get away from you, pulling her hips away, but it was no use.
tears welled in her eyes as her stomach tightened. her pussy clenched around your fingers, sucking them in deep. you pressed against her spot as she came, making her let out a broken shriek.
ellie was definitely crying now. especially when you didn't stop... again. you just kept pounding your fingers into her, adding a third. just thinking about how hard she would cum on a strap instead of your fingers had you dizzy.
her second orgasm morphed into her third before you pulled your fingers out. they were drenched in cum, which was dripping down your arm and the sheets. ellie's cheeks were puffy from crying, hips twitching as she tried to breath.
"oh sweet girl, we're not done yet." you wiped your hand on the bed and climbed off of her, stripping yourself of your remaining clothes and coming back over her, kneeling between her legs.
you pushed her leg up, straddling her for a moment. her lips were parted, breathing heavily as she waited for you to drop against her. your lips quirked up into a smirk as you pressed your cunt against hers, head falling back as your clits met.
ellie's pussy was wet, covered in cum, ready to be fucked until she couldn't say any name but yours. you thrust your hips against hers, and she was crying again, pulling and flicking her own nipples as she listened to you moan and reveled at how phenomenal your pussy felt.
she pushed her hips into yours, so you held them down, forcing her to take whatever you gave her. you came down against her pelvis hard, almost to the point where it hurt, but ellie was living for it, sobbing out your name like it was God's.
"can't come again- I can't- fuck, nnghh," you forced two fingers into ellie's mouth and she shut up, sucking them like a slut.
"yes you can." your voice changed, something deeper and more dominant ripped out of you as you got close to your orgasm. a rock in your stomach dropped, and you could feel ellie getting close as you picked up the pace, moaning at how her cunt felt.
you came at the same time, cum mixing and smearing all over both of you. ellie was still crying, back arched as she moaned over and over. you kissed her ankle softly as you came down for your high, climbing off of her after a moment and laying next to her.
"I want you to be my girlfriend," ellie croaked, voice still hoarse for all the crying. you giggled, looking over at her with a grin.
"I think I can do that."
bottom notes: this is the longest fic I've written and I actually thought I wouldn't be able to get more than 2k words.. anyway sorry about the abrupt ending I kinda wanted to be done
#ellie smut#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#tlou#maya writes#the last of us
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my bucky?
Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x f!reader (reader is little in the very beginning)
Word count: 7,390
Summary: Bucky's angel finally sees the hidden side of him.
Warnings: details of violence, kidnapping, getting shot, physical abuse by kidnappers, slapping, too much crying, angst
A/N: to all the nonnies that came to me once and asked "what if angel saw bucky beating someone up?" "what if angel gets kidnapped?", this is for you💜 i hope you have a good time with this one, loves x💜
~
Whenever he’d think of her, he’d think of jasmines. Soft, fragrant, pure-looking, fragile, beautiful jasmines. Like jasmines, she released her sweet perfume engulfed by the darkness of his night. Only he got to bask in her aroma. And like a jasmine in autumn, he’d fallen for her evergreen soul and he’d fallen hard.
Bucky knew she saw him through a pink lens. She ate up his lies like candy and although he felt bad, he knew it was for the best. He could visibly see her running out the door whenever he’d imagine someone opening her eyes to how cruel he actually was. It was selfish, but it was easier for him and safer for her this way. Better for both of them.
Luck wasn’t exactly his best friend though.
Bucky would never forget the look in her innocent, teary eyes as she watched him literally beat the life out of a man with all his might. He knew it was fairly stupid of him to do it in the back of his own garage, right next to his house where she was peacefully getting ready to call it a night. But he just couldn’t hold back when he saw the guy’s dumb face when his men brought him in.
“Miss?” She found Roseanne by the door, looking more nervous than usual.
She was shocked, no, terrified at the scene she couldn’t take her eyes away from. How and why was she even here in the first place?
~
Daddy said he’d be back for story time but he hasn’t been back yet. What was taking him so long?
She couldn’t fall asleep if his voice wasn’t lolling her to sleep. She couldn’t fall asleep if it wasn’t in his arms. Life without him just didn’t make sense anymore.
She got out of bed, slipped in her fluffy cat slippers and went on a little quest to find him. Bucky was always happy to see her so he’d forgive her for getting out of bed where he’d expected her to wait.
“Roseanne, have you seen my Bucky?” she asked with a smile.
“I think he’s busy right now, miss. You better wait in your room where it’s warm,” Roseanne tried to tempt her, using the cold as a good reason why she shouldn’t go outside where Bucky was.
The young woman looked distressed, like she was scared of something.
“What’s wrong, Roseanne? Is daddy okay?” she questioned the poor maid, her smile leaving her face.
“Yes, miss. Don’t worry. He’s just a little busy but he’ll be here soon.”
“Is he in the office?”
“I— I don’t know, miss. I think he is,” Roseanne lied.
She tilted her head suspiciously before running to the office to check it out, leaving Roseanne’s pleads for her to get back to the bedroom behind.
It seemed even more suspicious now that Bucky was nowhere to be seen in his office. It didn’t feel right and she had to find Bucky and make sure he was okay. Bucky always knew how to calm all her worries. He knew what to do and what to say.
Bucky protects her and is here for her.
But wait a minute, she didn’t hear his car leave. And if the car didn’t leave then Daddy was certainly in the house, she just missed him while looking.
She roamed the whole mansion, up and down, checking every room twice and she still couldn’t find her daddy.
Her mind was getting cloudier and she was getting more scared. Did daddy leave? Where would he go without letting her know that he’d be leaving? Why didn’t he kiss her forehead goodnight before leaving?
She made her way outside the main door and took sure steps to the large garage, once again taking no regard of Roseanne’s begging, confident in her smart train of thought.
When she arrived at the garage though, the pants she heard startled her to a halt as she ducked behind the black Range Rover.
Was that really Bucky? Her Bucky? Beating up a man to the point where his features weren’t recognizable anymore? That wasn’t possible. Her daddy was a sweetheart. He was the gentlest man she’s ever met and he wouldn’t hurt anyone like that. She knew he was feared because of his work, but he couldn’t kill anyone. Could he?
She peeked around and fell silent as a rock. The sight before her made her feel cold, leaving her poor mind perplexed.
On the first look, she couldn’t fathom what she was looking at. She wanted to look away. She did. But she couldn’t will her head to turn even just a little.
“How stupid do you have to be to think I wouldn’t know you were sent here to hurt my girl?”
A stronger pang hit her little heart when she realized this was happening because of her.
No, this was no bad dream though she’d hoped with all her heart that it was.
She’d made Daddy promise that he wouldn’t hurt anybody on her behalf. He’d promised to choose forgiveness if it was an option. It didn’t make any sense.
Was she too sleepy that she was seeing things? Did her little mind fall asleep without a story anyway and she was having a nightmare?
Sam had seen her first, wide eyes tearing up at the sight of her man smashing another’s face with his fist. He’d tried to tell Bucky, but it was too late. She’d already seen it all.
Those fingers that have ever so tenderly glided across her cheeks time and time again were hidden behind brass knuckles, covered in someone’s blood. That jaw that has only ever tensed from smiling too much around her was clenched, making him look scarier than she could’ve ever imagined him to be. His eyebrows were furrowed and his breaths heavy as he repeatedly and ruthlessly punched the man on the chair.
Her fear intensified when she’d recognized the beaten up man as their newest driver. She remembered him trying to repeatedly ask her if she wanted to go get ice cream with him when Bucky wasn’t home. She also remembered saying no like she was taught. She remembered Bucky promising to choose forgiveness if it was an option again and she saw him break his promise.
“Bucky, enough!” Sam pulled him away from the tied up guy, head nodding to the black vehicle.
Her head went dizzy when she thought of all the men she’d complained to Bucky about since they’d started their relationship. Have they all faced the same fate?
Who was this heaving, bloody-fisted beast before her? Did she ever know Bucky at all? Was he ever truthful about anything he’d told her or was it all just a big lie? How could she trust him with herself ever again? Who was her daddy really?
The walls around Bucky collapsed and he almost collapsed with them when he saw her face. She was there and she’d seen everything. His angel saw it all. His angel was scared. She was scared of him.
“Angeră?”
Her legs no longer wanted to hold her up once she heard his hoarse voice. The air was out of her lungs as she took slow steps back until she pressed herself to one of the grey walls behind her. The stuffie in her hands fell to the ground and with it her heart.
She wanted to run, but her cold body wouldn’t budge. Maybe if she could go back to the house right now, listen to Roseanne, stay in bed, and pretend this never happened, Bucky would miraculously come back with a perfectly healed, clean hand and they would peacefully have a cuddling session while his loving voice told her a story.
“Please don’t hurt me,” she begged, her voice above a whisper as she cowered away from him.
Bucky carefully walked closer, visibly watching her hands tremble. He raised his clean hand to caress her cheek like he always would when she needed him to calm her down.
He wasn’t expecting her to lean into his touch like she was used to, but it still shot daggers to his heart when she flinched, closing her eyes in fear and letting out the tiniest whimper.
“Angel, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Bucky’s broken voice had her heart clenching as she saw him trying to muster up a smile.
“Stay away from me,” she said in panic when he tried to take another step towards her.
“Angeră—”
“Please, Bucky, I’m sorry.”
She didn’t call him daddy or even her Bucky. She couldn’t.
“Baby, let me—”
She shook her head, running away from a shattered Bucky, almost tripping on her own feet.
“Go, we’ll take care of him,” Sam told him, patting his shoulder.
He watched her run as if she was escaping a wild lion, terrified and fearing for her life.
Bucky slammed his fist into the concrete wall where his love once leaned before slipping the brass knuckles off his probably broken fingers and hearing them clank on the ground. He rested both palms on the wall and let his head fall down as he breathed hard.
“Dragă, nu! Te rog, (love, no please)” Bucky begged, his hands grabbing her forearms to stop her from throwing more of her things into the suitcase.
Bucky ran like a mad man on the way to their house. He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to justify what she’d just witnessed him do.
She called him Bucky with glossed over eyes. She was bordering on little and he just gave her the trauma of her life. He had no answers to any possible question she might rightfully throw at him. Bucky only knew that he couldn’t lose her; she was the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
He busted through the front door and ran up the stairs only to be met with her frantically packing her things, fat tears soaking her face as she hiccupped out sobs.
“Please let me leave.” Her voice trembled and more tears left her eyes. His right hand had dried blood all over it and it made her skin crawl.
“Please don’t,” Bucky pleaded again, on the verge of crying himself.
“I’m really scared. Please don’t make me stay here,” she begged Bucky, trying to slip out of his grip.
“Angel, please believe me. I will never hurt you,” Bucky swore, his eyes brimming with tears.
“Angel, of course I love you! Please just stay and listen to me, baby.” Tears rolled down Bucky’s cheeks as he took a dress out of her hands before she could pack it.
“Did you ever really love me? Would you really never hurt me? Was anything you ever told me the truth?” Her voice was way too innocent as the questions left her trembling lips.
She didn’t even sound like she was blaming Bucky, she just sounded confused. Disappointed. Hurt.
“I wanna leave. Please let me leave,” she repeated, crying harder as she tried not to let herself crumble down on the floor of their bedroom.
“Angel, please don’t say that.” Bucky shook his head, holding onto her writs for dear life, “I can’t live without you, love. I can’t.”
She looked up at him and the look she gave him let him know she wasn’t little anymore.
Bucky despised himself for making her feel and think that way, “angel—”
“Why did you ever take me? Why did you bring me here?” She asked, the reproach hurting her too, “I didn’t know what love was before you. I trusted you. I trusted you with my heart, Bucky.”
She was saying everything that came to her mind, unable to keep her thoughts inside or else it felt like they might suffocate her. She was mad at herself for letting herself trust and love when she shouldn’t have.
“Are you used to doing this to people? Do you kill people, Bucky?” Her voice broke as she asked, already fearing the answer.
“Angel, please.”
“No, answer me.” Her eyebrows furrowed in sadness, anxious of the reply she was about to receive.
Bucky closed his eyes, not wanting to see her face when he told her his truth, “yes.”
“Yes.” Bucky nodded, hot tears leaving his closed eyes.
Her breath hitched at his answer, making more tears leave his eyes.
“D-Did you do this to the other guys I complained about before, too?”
“Did you kill them?” Her tone fell with her heart.
Bucky only swallowed, going dead silent at her question.
“Oh my god.” She cried, her knees almost giving out as she tried to get her arms free from his grip.
“No, no, angel, I only drove them out of town. They’re alive.” He assured her, leaving out the details about the probable permanent disabilities some of them left town with.
“Why?” She sobbed, her shoulders hurting from squirming in his grasp with no avail.
“They were bothering you.”
“So this makes it okay to kidnap them and beat them up?!” She screamed, her tears never drying up.
“I wanted to protect you,” Bucky whispered, his heart dropping at the realization of how his angel must see him now.
“Protect me from you then and let me go.” Her words shot daggers right into the mafia boss’ chest.
“I can’t believe I loved you so much.” She whispered, mostly to herself, lamenting her foolish, trusting heart.
“Angel, I can’t. You know I can’t.” He knew she was right, but he couldn’t let her leave.
She was his whole world; his life and everything good in it.
“Loved?” Bucky could hear his heart shattering.
“Loved,” she replied despite herself, knowing too well that she was lying.
Bucky finally let her arms go after her confirmation. He knew that if he tried to hold her back now she would only end up hating him. He would rather have her leave him than hate him. He wouldn’t be able to take it.
“I’ll tell the driver to get the car ready so he could take you to your grandma’s,” Bucky told her without looking up, wiping away his tears. For now.
She didn’t reply, and only continued shoving clothes into the bag.
“I just want you to know that I’ll always be here whenever you need me. I will always be yours, angel. Even if you’re no longer mine. I love you and I will love you until the day I die.”
But all of this was nothing compared to the fear that shot up her spine when she heard gunshots making contact with the car she was inside, forcing the driver to stop abruptly.
Bucky’s last words had her sobbing even harder as she fell to her knees the moment he left her alone in the room.
She didn’t want to leave him and she never saw a day like this one coming, but she knew it was only right that she did. They were different from the beginning and she was wrong to let herself live in a daydream for too long. She had no place in Bucky’s world.
~
The drive back to her grandma’s house was torture. The pain of being fooled could only be overruled by the pain of fearing the only man she’s ever loved. She couldn’t ignore the feeling that she was leaving a piece of her behind in the mansion that the car just drove away from. She knew that piece was her heart and she knew that she was most likely never going to get it back. It will forever remain with Bucky.
Her tears kept coming as she silently wept in the backseat.
Pathetic fallacy was at its highest and the skies were sobbing with her. It was cold and the roads were muddy, thunder hitting every now and then, making trees shudder where they were rooted.
She cried more knowing Bucky would no longer be there to hold her through thunderstorms.
The man and the guard next to him got out their own guns but it was too late for them to do anything as another couple of bullets were shot, going right through their heads. The driver fell lifeless, face first on the driving wheel and she felt her heart stop with his.
“Let me go for your own good,” she said, trying to keep her tone confident and her pain veiled.
Before she could even think of a route to run in, a bag was put over her head, her screams futile as she got violently dragged to another vehicle before it all went completely dark with a hit to the back of her head.
~
“I thought we were past that shit, babygirl. Three days didn’t teach you who’s in charge yet?” Lloyd Hansen, Bucky’s biggest enemy, asked her with a provocative smile.
She was in absolute agony.
She let oud a loud, pained scream, desperately trying to pull her arm from underneath his huge shoe.
They’d untied her an hour ago after she claimed she needed the bathroom, a guard on her tail as he led her through the abandoned building.
Once inside the toilet, she managed to pick up the upper part of the toilet seat. She gained the guard’s attention with a scream, going down on his head with the heavy ceramic piece as soon as he opened the door to check on her.
She managed to run as far as the hallway of the floor she was in before a very angry Lloyd grabbed her. She surprised him with a harsh slap across the face, taking the chance to run again when he froze for a second.
Lloyd got even angrier, stretching his leg and knocking one of her feet off the ground, making her fall over. He walked over her crawling body and evilly stepped on her right wrist.
“I can’t wait to kill you,” Lloyd said, not taking his foot off before he heard a snap and a loud screech from her.
Lloyd got hold of her hair, dragging her all the way back to the room where she was previously tied up.
He tied her to the same chair again, only this time one arm got the ropes while the other was left to redden and swell.
Now she was here, on the same chair, throwing empty threats as she’s almost given up hope that Bucky might find her.
“Aww, did you hear that, boys? Little slut right here is worried for our good,” Lloyd mocked her, laughter erupting and filling the room in response.
“You’re not getting out of here, babygirl,” he spat, his voice laced with venom, “this is where you die.”
“Let me go. I won’t say it again.” Her voice almost shivered with her heart at the end of her warning.
She was scared, and in so much pain, but she couldn’t let it show. She wouldn't even cry and was sweating like crazy from the ache in her dangling wrist. She was Bucky Barnes’ girl.
“You’re making the demands now? Not even a “please” to persuade me?” Lloyd moved his face closer to hers, slowly pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear with a smirk, “or do I have to heat you a bottle to get to meet your polite side?”
She felt her face go hot as her eyes filled with tears and she couldn’t stop herself from spitting in the bastard’s face, “fuck you”.
Next thing she knew was his rough hand slapping down hard on her cheek, making her go dizzy. Blood trickled out of her nose and down to her lips right after and she couldn’t hold back her tears this time.
She was tired. Terrified. She needed Bucky.
“Your filthy mouth isn’t anything short of your boyfriend’s, but don’t worry, if you don’t know how to be respectful to your masters I have ways to teach you, and believe me, I can’t wait to start your lessons.” Hansen smirked at her wrist before spitting back at her and leaving with everyone else.
She cried harder than she has ever before, tears and blood mixing. Her body was shivering and her arms aching from being tied up in the most uncomfortable position and smashed down under Lloyd’s boot.
There was no way out for here, was there?
She knew she was done for and she didn’t have any last wishes except for getting to tell Bucky that she loved him and that she will never stop loving him one last time.
She couldn’t even pay her pain or blood any attention when all she could think about was Bucky and how he would have never let anything like that happen to her.
She remembered his soft smile that only she got to meet. The way he’d lean forward to engulf her in a hug momentarily warmed her before the iciness of the empty room made her shiver again.
She didn’t dare linger on Bucky, however.
It’s been exactly 3 days and 21 hours since his angel left him and he still couldn’t believe it.
She left him. She left and now she was here in some old factory under some asshole’s mercy. She couldn’t escape the situation she was in no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t give her mind any kind of relief. There was none. Before she realized, her head was falling forward and she was getting a temporary break from reality.
~
“Bucky, are you o—” Sam cut himself off when his sight landed on his best friend’s face.
Bucky’s eyes were red with yet to be shed tears, again.
His car never reached her grandma’s because his men were murdered on the way. His angel was no where to be found and neither was Bucky’s will to live.
He kept telling himself that it wasn’t true, that she was at work; that she would eventually come back and sleep in his arms again.
However, she didn’t even call. Didn’t even look at his multiple texts. She really was missing and Bucky couldn’t face it. Between denial and heart wrenching pain, he buried himself 9 feet under.
He’s looked everywhere, asked everyone, but still couldn’t find her. It was as if she’s disappeared, turned to air.
Bucky has deserted their bedroom ever since she walked out of the mansion, the bed still as messy as she left it after she dragged the sheets down with her packed bag. Every time Bucky would enter the room he would see her leaving him, so he’d stopped. That couldn’t be his last memory of her. He slept on the couch in his office now, if at all.
And soon enough, the Bucky he used to be when she was around was dead and another angrier, more violent and very impatient Bucky had replaced him. He was always mad, at everyone and everything. And he was drinking every night, sitting on his bar for as long as he could, just to get himself hammered enough to fall in a deep unconsciousness where he didn’t have her scared eyes invading his dreams.
Sam was seriously worried for him, but there was nothing he could do; no advice he could offer. Nothing would bring that Bucky back as long as his angel was gone.
Bucky’s wallowing and Sam’s overthinking were interrupted when Bucky’s phone rang, vibrating on the ceramic floor. Bucky quickly crawled over to it, hardly believing his eyes when he saw her name in the place of the caller ID.
“Angeră?” he answered, his voice hoarse from staying silent for too long.
“Awww, you call her angel?” the voice on the other side mocked.
“Who the fuck is this?” Bucky asked, standing up slowly as his anger and worry forced him to sober up.
“You know too damn well who this is,” Lloyd answered, his smile evident in his tone as he knew he had Bucky by the throat.
“Where is she?” Bucky asked immediately.
“Tied up somewhere cold.”
“I swear on my life, if you touch her—”
“Relax, she can take a few scratches,” he replied, chuckling as if it was a joke.
“You son of a bitch!” Bucky shouted, losing his mind at the mere image of his angel being hurt.
“I’d watch my mouth if I were you, Barnes,” he snarled confidently.
“What do you want?” Bucky asked through his teeth, just wanting to get to his girl as quickly as possible.
“Let me hear her voice.”
“No,” Lloyd chuckled.
“I wanna destroy you.” Hansen laughed.
“Let her go. She has nothing to do with this.” Bucky tried his best not to sound desperate but it was obvious that he was begging for his girl’s safety.
“That’s where you’re wrong, B. She has everything to do with this.” Lloyd walked into the room where she was with a smug smile.
“Let her go.” please
“If you sound so distraught just because I’d hogged her for a couple of days, imagine how you’ll be when I erase her off the face of the earth,” Hansen said, laughing at the thought of hurting Bucky this bad.
Her face toughened up at the realization that it was Bucky on the phone.
“If you do as much as touch a hair on her head, I’m gonna kill you and everyone you know,” Bucky promised, his heart hammering in his chest as he hastily started moving.
“I might’ve broken a bone or two, but that’s only because she was a bad girl.”
“You’re dead, Hansen. Fucking dead!” Bucky promised, throwing the bottle he was drinking from across the room.
“We’ll be waiting with popcorn.” He hung up on Bucky, laughing.
“He’s gonna kill you.” She smiled once he hung up, making Lloyd grab her hair.
She hissed, trying not to show she was in pain.
“Not if I kill him first, angeră.” Lloyd spat, throwing her head forward before leaving the room.
She was horrified at the thought of anything bad happening to Bucky, but she willed her heart to trust in him. She had no time to ponder but she was actually proud of the fact that Bucky could so easily end this awful, evil man and she couldn’t wait for him to do just that.
Still, she waited for him. Something inside of her told her Bucky would never abandon her, not even to death. So she waited. Waited with the longing of all the lovers that ever were until longing had exhausted her.
~
It was like a slow motion dream. Doors being kicked down, guns being fired and her Bucky entering the room with a man’s body held in his left fist by the neck.
Instead, Bucky found Hansen and smacked him so hard with his metal hand that a tooth flew out. He slapped him again and his nose was bleeding. They made eye contact one more time and she noticed the difference for the first time. That wasn’t Bucky. It wasn’t her Bucky. His eyes still softened for her but the hint of revenge in them was more dominant.
He doesn’t even talk; doesn’t negotiate. He doesn’t even ask for her to be released. He doesn’t need to.
His men were getting everything done. His only mission was to look for her now. His eyes met hers but he didn’t start walking towards her like she’d expected he would.
She thought she would be afraid meeting Bucky again after what she’d witnessed him do, but she actually didn’t. Not even a tiny bit.
She was rather happy, the feeling that she was safe again warming up her body so much that she’d started sobbing.
It was like no matter how long they were away from each other, they were still together, never estranged from one another.
Bucky was on his 40th slap/punch on the man’s bloody face when he noticed her crying. He temporarily threw the man’s tired body on the ground and rushed to his girl.
He kneeled before her shaking body, wanting nothing but to make sure she wasn’t hurt.
And she was.
She looked up and could still see the coldness in his eyes despite hers being blurred by tears.
“I missed you. Is my Bucky okay?” She asked, her voice drained but not scared like Bucky had feared and expected.
“Let’s get you home, angeră,” he replied, saving his answer for now as he noticed the finger marks on her cheek.
She nodded desperately, her tied hand reaching for him despite being behind her back.
“Stop right there,” Lloyd said, crocking his gun at Bucky.
“Bucky,” she whimpered, eyes glued to her man, her anchor.
“E în regulă, angera meu, (it’s okay, my angel)" Bucky replied, getting closer to her and sticking to her side.
“No, it’s not. He’s lying to you. Just like he’s lied to you about everything else,” the man chuckled.
“Shut up,” she whispered, trying to calm down her breathing.
“Give it up, Hansen. I beat you. Again and for the last time. You’re done.” Bucky racked the slide of his gun.
“He never loved you. Do you even know who he is most of the time?” Lloyd continued, not willing to give up until Bucky was reduced to nothing before him.
“Shut up,” she repeated, wishing her hands were free so that she could cover her ears with them.
“Do you have any idea about the other side of this man you gave yourself to you poor little thin—”
“Shut up!” She shouted with all her might, “don’t speak about him like that.”
“Do you even know what you’re defending?” Hansen yelled at her with a crazy, bloody smile on his face.
“I know,” she answered calmly, “I know everything.”
Bucky looked at her in surprise, not believing what he just heard. There was no way she knew. How would she know? How would she choose to stay if she actually knew?
“Oh so you know about frosty over here?” Hansen smirked, pointing to his head.
“That’s enough, Hansen,” Bucky warned, barely controlling himself.
“I do,” she answered once more, her answer shocking Bucky yet again.
“Angel?”
“It’s okay, Bucky. I promise.” She sincerely promised, making it hard for Bucky not to tear up in the middle of the room.
“Aww, how sweet—” Hansen cooed and in a second 3 of Bucky’s bullets were in his head, neck and chest before he could say anything else.
She gasped, closing her eyes and turning her face away from the body as it collapsed on the floor with a thud.
She didn’t notice that Hansen had landed a shot at Bucky before he collapsed and Bucky didn’t even flinch as a bullet literally made it through his right shoulder. He didn’t feel the pain. He didn’t care about anything but his angel.
She was the only thing he could see and hear. Her wounds were his pain more than his own.
Bucky wordlessly kneeled down and untied her quickly. His gaze was glued to her wrists for a second before he rubbed the one that wasn’t swollen with his smoother thumb.
“What happened?” Bucky asked, referring to her other wrist.
“I'm gonna need a doctor to look at it.” Was all she gave him for an answer.
He silently opened his arms for her and she threw herself in them without an ounce of hesitation, crying more now that she was home.
She was so scared she wouldn’t get to feel like this again. She let herself let go. She then closed her eyes and finally succumbed to the cozy darkness now that she was safe.
Instead, Roseanne looked at her with a teary smile, “welcome back, miss.”
She lost all sense of consciousness that she didn’t hear Bucky shoot the man’s dead body a fourth and a fifth time with her in his arms as he took another look at her wrists.
~
When she opened her eyes again, she was back in Bucky’s bed, but Bucky wasn’t by her side.
“Roseanne, I missed you so much,” she replied, unable to stop her own tears.
“Thank goodness you’re okay,” Roseanne said, breaking the hug to let her rest her back.
She invited Roseanne for a hug with her good arm as she noticed the other was in what looked like a cast.
Lloyd had broken her wrist.
“Mr. Barnes is in his office,” she told her while adjusting the pillow behind her when she noticed her eyes roaming the spacious room.
“Is he mad?” she asked, more tears gathering in her tired eyes.
“At himself, maybe.” Roseanne shrugged politely.
“Please help me go to him, Roseanne.”
“One more thing though.” Roseanne chew on her lip.
“What’s wrong?”
He didn’t know what he would’ve done with himself if something had happened to her and he kept blaming himself as he sat there with his right arm in a sling.
“Mr. Barnes has been shot.”
~
Bucky didn’t care to look when the door to his office opened, not knowing that she was awake and too busy wiping his tears of regret.
He’s been like this since he got her home and in his bed again. His tears were unstoppable now that he saw the results of his lifestyle on the one girl he chose and held closest to his heart. In fact, he cried more every time he took a look at her angelic figure tiredly sleeping in his large bed as the doctor patched up her broken wrist.
She was so small, so pure and so so good for this world. Her face was fainter and the spark was gone and he was sure Lloyd didn’t feed her. The fading finger marks she had on her cheek, the rope burns around her wrists and ankles and the cast around her forearm slashed new wounds at his heart.
“Bucky,” she called out faintly, her head and body still aching a little, heart dropping when she saw him with his arm hanging, “are you okay?”
He stood up and helped her sit in his chair, not sure if it was okay for him to carry her and sit her on his desk like he usually would.
He hastily wiped his eyes with his hand to look at his baby.
“Hi, angel,” he tried to say with a smile but his voice cracked as another tear escaped down his red cheek.
She surprised him by using his chair as a step to get on top of his desk, pointing to the chair for him to sit back down.
Bucky was on eye level with the marks on her ankles as she settled her bare feet on his lap.
What was he going to say now that she was awake? And most importantly, what was she going to say?
“My Bucky,” she could recognize the difference between this man and the man who started her rescue right away.
Bucky was stunned to see she could see it despite everything. He didn’t want her to ever find out about that side of him and it killed him even more that she caught the difference. How on earth did she find something like this out?
“All yours, angel.” He tried to compose himself, for her.
She couldn’t bare seeing him like this. It was like she’s forgotten about everything that happened before this very moment and all she could do was sit up and hold his face to lovingly wipe his sorrows away with her left hand.
It was enough time away from Bucky.
“I’m okay, Bucky. I’m okay,” she tried to reassure him, only making him cry harder as the dam broke when she rubbed his shoulder.
“Iarta-ma, iubita mea. Te rog. Iarta-ma. (forgive me, my love. Please, forgive me)" He sobbed, moving his lips to the palms of her hands to leave wet kisses all over the reddened skin.
“I’m okay, I swear,” she repeated, not knowing what to do or say.
“I forgive you. Please don’t cry; we’re good,” she said it to him in the kindest tone like it was the easiest thing to say.
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you give me the chance to. Please, love,” Bucky cried like a child in her lap.
No, he couldn’t even remember a time when he cried like this as a child despite all that he’d gone through. He didn’t care though. He was going to do whatever it took for his angel’s forgiveness. He disappointed her, broke her heart and risked her life. Bucky was going to beg until the end of time if he could.
Bucky shook his head, crying harder, “no, you’re good. You’re too good to me, angel. Too good. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. Never did.”
It sent a knife to his heart that she still sincerely called him her Bucky after everything she’s been through just because he was in her life; because he was selfish enough to bring her into his without a care.
He was still beating himself up over it. And how could he not when everything terrible that’s ever happened to her had happened because of him? He traumatized her more than anyone ever could have and he’s gotten her hurt time and time again.
This girl who’s made him feel like he could stand against the whole world all by himself with no fear just because she called him her lover. This girl who taught him loyalty, kindness and love and was now teaching him forgiveness. This girl was sitting before him with a broken wrist and heart telling him not to worry about it.
“Don’t say that, please. I’m alive right now thanks to you, my Bucky.” Her own tears rolled down her cheeks before she could stop them.
She loved him more than anything and wished she could make him see that. Oh how she was dying to make him see how safe and loved he made her feel.
“You mean you were taken and hurt thanks to me.” Bucky casted his eyes down, too ashamed to even look at her marked face.
“Bucky—”
“I get it if you still wanna leave me. And I will let you. I would never make you do anything you don't want. I just want you to know that I never lied to you about my love for you. You’ve been and still are the realist thing in my life, angel. Everything I said and did was true. I adore you.”
“Bucky, I—”
“I know it’s selfish to choose to speak about this now, but I’m afraid you’d leave before I get to tell you how in love with you I really am,” he sniffled, wiping his eyes again in vain before looking up at her, “I would die without you. Your love owns me, heart and soul. But.. if leaving me is what you choose.. and if leaving me will make you safe, I will accept it. I just need you to know that I’ve never lied to you. Angel, you are my whole life. You’re my one and only. I belong to you. I’m yours and I will die yours.”
She was speechless, too taken aback to stop herself from crying harder. Bucky’s never opened up to her about his feelings before. Not like this.
“Bucky, I love you,” she managed to whisper before he cut her off again. Before she could tell him that she felt the same way, that she was all his and will forever be his, that only him ruled over her heart.
“You don’t have to say that, angel—”
“Let me speak,” she demanded, her palm cupping his wet cheek as she grabbed him a tissue from his desk.
He nodded, biting his lip and bracing himself for the harshest ‘but’, preparing to get his heart ripped out of his chest.
“I don’t wanna leave you,” was the first thing she could get herself to say, desperately wanting to soothe his thumping heart.
Bucky’s eyes filled with more tears because he knew he didn’t deserve her.
“I forgive you. I want to tolerate this dangerous life because it lets me have you; be with you, which is the only place I ever wanna be.” She took a deep breath, her own tears continuing to fall as she wiped his.
“Baby,” Bucky whispers, hating to see her tears yet again.
“I knew you weren’t the nicest guy to others and I knew your line of business wasn’t the safest either. I just— it freaked me out when I actually got to see you inside of it. I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
Bucky lowered his head in shame again.
“In my head, especially when little, you’re incapable of hurting. In my eyes, you’re safety, Bucky. You’re home.” She brought his eyes back to hers with a hand on his cheek.
“I’m sorry, love,” Bucky was quick to apologize but she shook her head in reply.
“It might take me some time to get used to everything now that I know everything. But it didn’t affect my love for you, Bucky. Not one bit. I lied. I was so scared I would die without getting to tell you that. I still loved you more than ever even in that moment with your fist against another man’s cheek, and I guess that scared me even more. Because it was unlike the me I thought I knew. But this me, right here, is madly in love with you and she doesn’t care about anything other than being by your side for ever.”
“Angel,” Bucky sobbed, holding her hand to his lips, leaving appreciative, wet kisses on her palm, “you won’t regret it, baby, I promise. This is the last time you get hurt. I would die before I let anything like this ever happen to you again.”
“I know, and I trust you, my Bucky. If you’d give me time and if you’ll have me, I wanna be with you every moment of my life, forever.” She couldn’t not throw herself inside his arms, needing the closeness to reassure her this was real.
“I love you so much,” he whispered, holding her on his lap as tight as he possibly could.
“Lucky me,” she whispered in his shoulder.
Bucky felt himself coming alive again at the smell of jasmines in her hair and the feel of her warm body in his hold. She was a piece missing from him and now that she was back, he wasn’t going to waste a second without worshiping the steps she walked.
“I know I might need a while, but that doesn’t change anything. I still love you with my whole heart, Bucky,” she reassured, squeezing him to her even more.
“Take all the time you need, angel. I’ll be right here. I’ll wait forever if I have to.”
“Promise me something though.”
“Anything.”
“No more killing people on my behalf.”
“What if they have a gun pointed at you?”
“Okay, only in that case then because it’s self-defense.”
“I promise.” Bucky smiled, sliding her hair behind her ear before kissing her forehead.
She pressed her forehead to his with a smile, “thank you.”
“We’re injury buddies now,” she joked when they pull away making Bucky laugh out loud for the first time in days.
“Does it hurt, angel?”
"Mine doesn't hurt, you?" He kissed her covered wrist gently.
"Does it hurt?"
They both asked at the same time, making each other laugh.
“Not as much anymore,” she replies, not wanting to remember how much it hurt when she was tied up in the cold room.
“Let’s eat so you could take your pain meds.” Bucky offered her his metal hand and she took it with her good one with a content smile.
~
Everything was going to be okay again. She knew it. Her hand was back in Bucky's and there was nothing their love wouldn't be able to pass. This might not be the Bucky she got in a relationship with, but it was the Bucky she wanted and was going to continue it with.
He was still and was always going to be her bucky.
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#bucky barnes fanfic#daddy bucky#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x fluff#bucky barnes angst#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#bucky x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky x y/n#bucky x f!reader#bucky x female yn#mafia!bucky barnes#mafia!bucky x reader#mafia bucky#mafia!bucky#mafia!au#bucky barnes one shot#bucky oneshot#bucky one shot#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes imagine#bucky imagine#bucky barnes x little!reader
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come over?
luke hughes x reader
summary: you and luke have a secret/not so secret relationship
a/n: no warnings really, this is cute i think and very cringey fluff tbh. not proofread.
word count: 1.3k
-
Keeping your relationship with Luke a secret from your friends was a hard enough task as it is, but having to keep it a complete secret from your family was proving to be an even more difficult task. It has been over 6 months of you and Luke being together now and everyday you just want to shout from the rooftops just how much you love him.
Although you knew being in the spotlight was 100% not what you wanted, it was so much harder than you thought to have to sneak around and pretend to be single around some of your very closest friends. And Luke knew how much it meant to the public for you to be known solely as ‘Luke Hughes’ Girlfriend’ so you had both agreed on the whole keeping-things-a-secret thing until further notice.
Because of this, It had been almost 2 weeks since you had last seen your boyfriend. Both you and him being respectively busy, and also having absolutely nowhere to spend time together as your two roommates had not been out of the house for any extended periods of time lately. And in the midst of that, Luke and Jack had a guest staying at their condo since the beginning of the month, making it nearly impossible for you to spend any time there at all.
This had you up late at night thinking about Luke for what felt like the millionth night in a row. wishing he was beside you instead of just your childhood stuffed animals. Wishing he was rubbing your back, soothing you to sleep, kissing your neck gently, tracing shapes on your skin - there were so many little ways he showed you his love and you missed every single one of them. And as much as you hated what was at risk with you sneaking him over - laying in bed dreaming about it caused absolutely no harm at all.
Pulling you out of your daydream, you hear buzzing begin to come from your phone that is left charging on your nightstand as you are trying desperately to fall asleep. You look over to see that it is Luke calling you, at almost 1:00 in the morning. You wonder if he had been up thinking about you too.
You reach over and grab your phone to answer him, “hi baby” you whisper into the phone, not wanting to wake up anyone else in your apartment.
“baby I cant sleep. I miss you so much” he says with a tired rasp in his voice. He lets out a sigh on the other end of the phone and its almost like he is right beside you. You can hear the longing in his voice and can just sense how frustrated he is with the single sigh.
“I miss you too lukey. I literally cant sleep either - ive just been up thinking about you” you say honestly.
You have always been super honest with him about everything. Weather it be you telling him every single detail about how horrible your period is that week, how you absolutely dread doing the dishes and let them pile up for days before getting to them, how you refuse to go out past 5pm by yourself because you are terrified of being kidnapped, or explaining to him word for word why you love the movie ‘love rosie’ so much and how much it means to you when he agrees to watch it with you. Luke knew you so well and you knew him just the same. Because you always communicated with each other. about everything. No matter what.
Thats why what he said next came as such a shock to you.
“Ive been thinking too..’’ he trails off, his tone quieter than before
You stay quiet on the other end of the phone, curious about what Luke is about to say and suddenly extremely aware of the fact that it is so late at night and he decided to call you without warning. After your silent thinking, you hum a quiet ‘mhm’ in response, urging him to continue.
“Ive just been thinking.. maybe I regret keeping things, with us, a secret for so long. I know I- We agreed to hold off, especially because of how it would affect your life and everything. And I know thats a really big deal. I dont want you to think im being selfish..” he begins, but waits for you to chime in with your thoughts.
Things have worked well this way for so long, that it surprised you he felt this way. Especially because Luke is a very private person in general, you assumed this is how he wanted things. It broke your heart if you made him feel like this was all your idea in the first place. You just thought it would be best for the both of you.
“Luke I dont know what to say. Honestly i thought we were on the same page so I didnt offer to change anything…”
“How long have you felt like this?” you add, trying to speak loud enough but still with your voice in a whisper.
“I mean. I dont really know?” he says almost as a question
“Luke…” you urge him, hoping he will answer your question honestly.
“Well I guess - about a month now I guess? I know i shouldve said something sooner but I just didnt want to ruin anything. I know thats kind of..shitty..” He says regretfully
Theres the honest boy you know.
“I..I didnt know” you say. Honestly you ddnt know where to go from here. You wanted to tell everyone everything about your relationship at this very moment, but werent sure if thats where Luke was going with this.
“I- What are you thinking? I understand if you want to keep things the way they are. I wanna be clear that I really dont want to force you into changing anything. I just i couldn t keep it to myself anymore”
It was so exciting to you knowing how much Luke cared about you. The way he cares for everyone around him has always been something you admire about him. He has the biggest heart in the world and you only hoped to be at least half as caring as him. Clearly this has been on his mind for a while and he cared so mch about your feelings towards it that he didnt want to let his feelings ruin what you have.
“Luke I love you, obviously as long as you know that, thats enough for me. But i do want everyone to know that too.” you say as the lump in your throat grows and tears well in your eyes.
You honestly didn't know why this was making you emotional. But the combination of missing him, hearing him so delicately approach you with this, and knowing this might be the moment you get to share your love for him with the world, is making it hard to get your words out right now.
“I love you so much. and I want everyone to know I do too” he says matter of factly and your heart melts completely.
You both sit in comfortable silence over the phone for a moment as your slight sniffles fill the quiet air.
“I dont know why im crying..” you say through quiet laughter and hear Luke share laughter in response. He was so used to you being emotional over the most random things, this not surprising him one bit.
“What can i do baby?”
You dont even have to think twice of your next response but pretend to be contemplating anyway,
“hmmmm, come over?” you respond hopefully. It thrilled you to think he might actually say yes. Even at 1:00 in the morning.
“Absolutely,” he says with a laugh and you grin ear to ear with giddy excitement,
“give me 20 minutes”
-
-
#nj devils#devils lb#nhl#new jersey devils#luke hughes#hockey blurb#hockey imagine#nhl fluff#nhl writing#nhl imagine#devils hockey#hockeyblr#luke hughes reclist#luke hughes fluff#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes imagine#nj devils imagine#fluff#fic rec#luke hughes fic
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You need some Rise!Splinter, so here we go: Splinter finds out that their boys are in a relationship (with their own s/o, of course!) Aaaand... Goes into father mode. You know: wanting to know details, giving date advices, checking if their lover is "good enough" for his boys... Expect embarassment situation😆
OHMYGOD THE POTENTIALL
RISE SLINTER WHEN HE FINDS OUT HIS BOYS ARE DATING
Leo:
Splinter knows?
Fucking how???
He did his absolute best to keep Splinter in the dark because he knew this would happen-
Splinter had pulled him aside to have a talk.
Little did he know it was THE talk.
You know the one.
Leo was mortified.
After that, Splinter demanded to know all the "Juicy details." as he put it.
Uh, yeah no.
Oh my god when Splinter meets you Leo wants to crawl into the ground and die of embarrassment.
Why couldn't he ask normal questions like, "What are your hobbies?" or "How many siblings do you have?" No he had to ask if you ever planned to marry his son.
Both you and Leo did a doubke take and grew as red as tomatoes.
Then Splinter left, smiling and laughing.
Leo is 100% sure that Splinter just want to embarrass him.
Raph:
Actually, Splinter was the first to know when you guys start dating.
Unlike Leo, Raph felt it was important for his dad to know.
He wasn't however, expecting to sit with his dad for hours, while Splinter gave him dating advice.
Then of course, "And finally, I demand to meet the person who has your love. I must make sure they are good enough for you."
Raph was nervous as all hell the day you were set to meet the fam, before he left to get you, his brothers kept complaining about his fear stink.
Splinter gave you a quick once over, smiled, then flashed Raph a thumbs up.
"Good job." he said, then spent the rest of dinner getting to know you
*relief*
Donnie:
No,
Nononono
The utter embarrassment he feels at how his father is acting.
He is positivly mortified.
No, father, you are not getting details.
Have we kissed yet?
I am not telling you.
No you cannot meet them yet.
Why?
You know why.
When he does meet you, Donnie is terrified that Splinter will embarrass him.
And he does exactly that,
When Splinter see's you, it goes exactly like this, "Are you sure? You could do so much better."
"Father, that is incredibly rude. I love them-"
"I am not talking to you, I'm talking to them."
He then grabbed your hands and pulled you down to his level, "This entire family is crazy, get out while you still have the chance."
"DAD-"
Mikey:
I'm sorry what?
His youngest is dating?
No way, he's just a baby!
Wait, he's a teenager?
Oh.
WELL STILL-
The talk is unavoidable.
And Mikey is red for DAYS afterward.
Even then, he's really excited for you to meet his dad.
When Splinter meets you,
You are instantly his new favorite, already telling Mikey how he has to marry you, leaving the both of you blushy and embarrassed.
Whenever you visit now, Splinter is always in Mikey's line of sight, attrmpting to signal advice to his youngest.
It does not work.
....................................
Anon, you are 100% right. My blog is extremely lacking in rise Splinter. So here you go!
#tmnt#tmnt x reader#x reader#leonardo x reader#donnie x reader#rottmnt#raphael x reader#normie writes#mikey x reader#rottmnt headcanons#splinter tmnt#lou jitsu#master splinter
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it's hard when i hate myself.
summary: those bad thoughts in your head get a little too loud one day, and you can't take it anymore...
pairing: jenna ortega x gn!reader
tw: self-harm, depression, suicide attempt (if any of these topics are triggering for you, please do not read)
words: 1.88k
a/n: i wrote this for @nofreakinglooseends, hope this lives up to your expectations bub...
*** if you have experience with depression or suicidal thoughts, or if you find any of the above topics triggering in any way - please do not read, these topics are written about in detail below (you have been warned) ***
No one cares.
No one likes you.
You're just a burden.
You paced the bedroom floor, hands gripping the sides of your head as you wondered why your brain hated you so much. You knew the thoughts weren’t true, your friends really did care, they had told you so themselves. Yet, it all felt like one big lie.
In the midst of your pacing, something caught your eye. You looked up only to spot yourself in the bedroom mirror. For a moment, you were caught off guard; you didn’t look like yourself anymore. Dark circles under your eyes, hair that hadn’t been brushed in days, pale skin, and lifeless eyes. You looked like a shell of your former self, barely even recognizable.
When had it gotten this bad?
The floodgates opened. The thoughts came barreling back. Too loud to ignore this time.
Stupid.
Mistake.
Failure.
No one cares.
No one gives a shit.
Better off dead…
You started pacing again, a bit faster this time, praying that the voices would all just go away.
Your mind slipped to your girlfriend. She always seemed to know how to help. What would she say right now? Your mind was blank, you couldn’t think of anything. Then again, it was impossible to think at all with the voices shouting in your head, screaming about what a burden you were.
Jenna doesn’t even care. Why would she?
She only stays with you out of pity.
She doesn't care.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” you muttered to yourself, tears beginning to slip down your face, “Just shut up already!”
Call me if you need anything. That’s what Jenna told you earlier before leaving for work. You could sense the full-blown breakdown on the horizon, just minutes away. But you shouldn’t call her, right? She doesn’t need your problems right now. She already has enough to deal with at work as it is, she doesn’t need you making things worse…
She doesn’t love you.
She probably wouldn’t even pick up the phone if you called.
Lies. It was all lies. Jenna told you she loved you every morning and every night. She was there for you all the time. Of course, she cared… right?
“Fuck it,” you grabbed your phone from the nightstand, finding her contact and hitting the call button.
You sat on the edge of the bed, knee bouncing up and down anxiously as you listened to the dial tone.
Once… Twice… Voicemail.
“Fuckkkkkk,”
You redialed the number, hoping Jenna would pick up.
She doesn’t love you.
You don’t deserve her.
She can do better.
“Come on, go faster…” you muttered, your knee bouncing faster as you waited for someone to pick up.
Voicemail. Again.
“Fuck!”
Maybe the voices were right. Maybe your mind didn't hate you, maybe it was just telling you the ugly truth… Your friends don't care about you. Your girlfriend doesn't love you. You’re just a worthless nobody.
You shot up from the bed; anger and panic flooding your mind. Not even realizing what you were doing, you threw your phone across the room. You didn’t particularly care. Your mind was on autopilot.
Tears rolled down your face and you could barely see through the blurry vision.
Maybe it would just be better if you weren’t around anymore. Maybe it would be better if you were dead.
Dead. It was terrifying how much the thought of being dead didn’t bother you. The idea was almost welcoming. You wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, just peace… Peace sounded nice.
"Fuck!" You couldn't take it anymore. The voices were too loud, you couldn't think. Everything hurt. You needed to do something.
You rushed to the bathroom, the tears running down your face made it hard to see. You yanked open the cabinet drawer, digging around for where you hid it. Your fingers brushed against the cool metal, you raced to grab it without caring how it dug into your hand, nearly drawing blood.
You sunk down to the tile floor, rolling up the edge of your shorts to see the fresh cuts. Red lines spanning an inch or so long, each one scabbed over and bruised. You eyed an untouched spot between two red lines, before you could think you pushed the blade in, dragging it across the skin.
Blood trickled down the side of your thigh and onto the tile floor below, but you didn't care. Your mind was finally at ease.
It hurt like a bitch. But at the same time, the pain was comforting. Just for a while, it distracted your mind, easing your racing thoughts.
You looked down, eyeing the cut, the long trail of blood that cascaded down the side of your thigh.
Looking at it seemed to make it hurt worse. It made the voices come back. The cut was just a looming reminder of what a failure you were. But that’s all you were anymore. A mistake. A failure. A nobody.
You eyed the razor blade in your hand. Part of you knew you shouldn’t, it was a bad idea. But the voices were so much louder, so much more convincing. Your head was spinning…
Fuck it.
You dug the knife into your wrist, dragging the blade up towards your elbow. It had to be close to three or four inches long, the blood seeping out nearly instantly. It hurt worse than the ones on your thigh, but you didn’t care. If you were lucky, you wouldn’t be able to feel it soon anyway.
You did it again, taking the blade and dragging it up the other arm. Blood was dripping all over the floor, all over yourself, but you couldn't care less.
Her stomach twisted into knots; her hands shook as they gripped the wheel. She only left her phone for like ten minutes, maybe twelve at most, and in that time, she somehow had two back-to-back missed calls from you. She tried calling you back but to no avail. That’s when the panic set in. You rarely ever called her, and you never missed her calls.
She drove like a madman trying to get home. She was definitely breaking more than one law. Other people were honking, even flipping her off as she drove past, but she paid them no mind. The only thing she could think about was you.
Jenna fumbled to unlock the door; her hands were shaking. It took her longer than she would’ve liked to admit to get the key into the lock. Her mind was a wreck, her head was spinning, and all she could think about was you.
The second she was over the threshold she was calling out for you, praying for some sign that she was crazy and that you were fine.
Unfortunately, her prayers went unanswered.
She checked the living room first; it was closest to the front door. No luck, you weren’t there.
Then she checked the bedroom. She immediately noticed the dent in the wall; your phone lying on the floor underneath it, the screen completely shattered.
Just as quickly as she found your shattered phone, she noticed the light from the bathroom. The door was wide open.
Her stomach dropped; her heart was in her throat. She just knew something was wrong.
The first thing she saw was you sitting on the bathroom floor, unconscious. Then she noticed all the blood. It was everywhere. You were practically sitting in a pool of it.
The razor blade was still lightly clutched in your hand, the cuts going up your arms were an angry shade of red. Your shorts were hiked up, showcasing a sea of white scars and a slew of new cuts.
She wanted to puke.
She knew you were struggling, but she never knew it was this bad.
She took a deep breath, swallowing down the bile in the back of her throat and suppressing the tears that threatened to break free.
Everything hurt. Your head was pounding, and the dim lights felt too bright against your eyes. The bed underneath you felt stiff and uncomfortable. All your muscles ached.
Despite the way your muscles protested, you pushed yourself up on the bed, propping yourself up on your elbows.
The first thing you noticed was that you weren’t home, you were in a hospital room. A rather small one. There was the bed you laid in, a small bathroom off to the side of the room, and a TV hanging on the wall. But most importantly, sitting in an armchair underneath the window, was Jenna.
She was lying sideways on the chair, her head draped uncomfortably over one arm of the chair while her legs dangled off the other, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Even from a distance, you could see the dark bags under her eyes, like she hadn’t slept in days.
What was more worrying to you though, was how you got here. Why the hospital? Did you get hurt? Was Jenna hurt? What happened? The last thing you could remember was going to sleep the other night, with Jenna curled up in your arms under the covers.
You looked down, trying to look for any obvious injuries. You quickly spotted the big gauze bandages covering the length of your forearms.
“Hey,”
You jumped. Your head shot up and over towards the window. You must’ve accidentally woken her up somehow.
Jenna was sitting up in the chair, looking over at you tired and worriedly. She looked exhausted.
“Hey,” Your voice was hoarse. Your throat was dry and sore, and it hurt to speak.
“How’re you feeling?”
“What happened?” You asked, dodging her question. You felt like shit, but you weren’t going to tell her that.
“You don’t remember?” Her eyebrows furrowed, confusion taking over her features.
“No…”
You had an idea of what might’ve happened. But you were hoping it wasn’t true.
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
“You came home from work. We ordered takeout for dinner and watched a movie, then we went to bed.”
Her face dropped. A bad feeling washed over you.
“Babe, that was a week ago…” Her voice was soft and quiet. You couldn’t tell if she was sad or scared, maybe both… Most likely both.
“Oh.” You weren’t sure what to even say.
Silence filled the room. It was painfully loud, nearly suffocating you in the tiny room.
You didn’t want to ask the question sitting on the tip of your tongue. You didn’t really need to; you already knew the answer.
Before you knew it, tears started streaming down your cheeks. You’d actually done it. You couldn’t believe it. You tried to kill yourself… You were at a loss for words.
You felt the bed dip next to you, Jenna sliding onto the bed next to you. She gently wrapped her arm around you, bringing you closer to her. You rested your head on her shoulder, the tears streaming silently down your face.
Jenna didn’t say anything, she just held you close while you cried. Comforting you in the only way her tired mind could think of.
Neither of you knew what was going to happen next. But Jenna was sure of one thing; whatever it was, she was going to be there for you every step of the way.
#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega x y/n#jenna ortega x gn!reader#jenna ortega x fem!reader#void-wolfie
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a very interesting (and endearing, at least to me) detail about jean's character is how he tends to fix himself during a confrontation. (long post ahead)
despite the fact he looks just fine, he does it to self-soothe more than anything, because he knows he has no control over the situation. so if he can't get through harry, at least he's in control of how he looks. and he can look BETTER, more put together than harry, so he makes sure to show him that. every time.
constantly readjusting, correcting, dusting himself off every time he's confronting his former partner because i think he has a severe inferiority complex (since harry outranks him and refuses to accept any promotion, which makes jean perpetually stuck as a satellite-officer, tied to a self-destructive man who's also good at what he does + harry has had a chance at a love that's so redeeming that he pictures her as the game's equivalent of God, a love that jean desperately yearns for so he hates harry for blowing it, and hates himself for never finding such a love despite the fact he's more put together than harry, or so he claims) that flares up every time harry's in the vicinity. i don't think jean has problems asserting himself when harry's not around, though. we've seen that here.
jean's perfectly capable of being authoritative, and has power over his colleagues, contrary to popular belief on this website. of course, provided harry's not there.
because he'll start slipping every time. his body language is also incredibly stiff, i'm assuming it's to seem like he's composed, but that falls apart when you notice how many times he struggles with his breathing, how many times he has to collect himself.
naturally, since kim also outranks him, jean behaves the same way with him although less emotional. he loses the spite, turns a little more submissive, though his pride doesn't completely disappear, like authority indicates. i also believe it's because kim didn't address him properly, therefore jean didn't feel the need to extend more than basic respect towards him.
it's very interesting to see, since he seems to have this ongoing inner conflict between his pride and his self-hatred. believing he's better than harry, yet crumbling at his presence. laying down and taking it, then suddenly revolting. being in control until the reason you're forced to take control shows up, then suddenly you're not in control anymore and you have to fix your hair and your tie and dust your suit and cough to look like you have your shit together. to prove that you're better. jean's trying to tell harry that he's BETTER than him! that's why he does all of that shit! he's terrified of ending up like that! he's even more terrified of the fact that despite being the mess he is, harry IS better than him! HELLO!
#lav thinks#he's so INTERESTING!!! i wish all jean discourse starters a very shut the fuck up#i've been seeing some shit takes abt him not having power over anyone/him never doing his job etc n it's sooooo tiring#like give it a rest idk play the game again w your eyes OPEN this time!#i love him he's so interesting.... sososo fascinating#jean vicquemare#disco elysium
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may I request a really really really smart villain. but somehow the hero manages to outsmart them, and even though villain is completely dumbfounded, they find it incredibly hot???
gl, if you wish, but im fine with anything !!
“You’re scared,” the villain whispered. “I know what that feels like. I know what it can do to a person.”
Their fingertips traced the hero’s clavicle gently, as if they attempted to calm a startled deer by stoking it.
“It’s not a pleasant emotion. It certainly isn’t one anyone should be used to. So I’m curious, do you need my help?” the villain said. Their eyes scanned the hero curiously. Almost as if they could absorb everything about them just by looking at them.
Something about the hero seemed to pull them in, something seemed to fascinate them on a grand scale and the hero couldn’t tell if they loved the challenge or the attention.
“Would you mind?” the hero asked. They nodded towards the villain’s fingers on their body and clearly, the villain received their message. They pulled away and smiled. Curiosity seemed to be their big weakness.
“I apologise, of course. I’m fond of pretty things.”
“As every crow is.”
“That’s a compliment.” The hero didn’t answer. They knew the villain was toying with them; they were fully aware of their sweet words and their kind smile.
The villain wasn’t easy to understand and that was a big problem in this whole mess. Incompetent people proposed a threat to the city because of their lack of intelligence. They weren’t easy to understand, they were unpredictable.
Usually, the hero could argue with smart people, could get into their minds and understand their motives but the villain was a complete minefield. Their unpredictability came from several unrelated plans that intertwined and altogether made up a whole picture.
They were ten steps ahead. Always.
Suddenly, a missing professor, a burning bakery, a sick child and a stolen book were parts of a chain that would make sense to the hero much, much later. Ordinary things could play huge parts in these reaction chains, something they liked to call “controlled butterfly effect”. It made the hero think of all the details, all the little crimes in the city. It made them overanalyse every little conversation they had with the villain.
Was the villain giving them clues?
Was there a way to decipher these riddles?
How could anyone be at ten different places at the same time?
How was it possible to get information you’d have to torture out of people without actually talking to anyone at all?
“I’ll have to change my address for the third time this month,” the hero said. “You should apologise for that as well.”
“It’s not my fault you make it so easy for me.” The villain looked around the hero’s living room and in some weird and strange way, the hero felt superior to them, now that everything was done. It would’ve been foolish to say they were relieved. In fact, the villain was right. They were terrified. “New choice of plants, I see. You like orchids?”
“Why exactly are you here?” the hero asked. They assumed the villain knew about yesterday. They also assumed the villain was here to talk about that. “So you can make fun of me? Humiliate me in my own home?”
“Without an audience? Please, I thought you knew me.” The villain’s eyes found the hero’s again after what they deemed to be enough observation.
“You like it more intimate. You like it when it’s just us.” Now, the villain looked intrigued.
“Touché,” they said, almost as if the hero had defeated them with a single word. The hero wished it had been that easy.
“Again. Why are you here?” The hero crossed their arms in front of their chest. It was getting quite chilly in just a shirt and underwear.
In response, the villain took in a deep breath and sat down on the hero’s couch. They lounged.
“When Hannibal crossed the Alps, do you think he was scared? I mean, all that responsibility on his shoulders? It was dangerous, he could’ve lost his entire army.”
“Is this supposed to be some metaphor for me being Hannibal and you being…what? The Roman Republic?” the hero asked. Sometimes, it was laughable where the villain’s mind went. It was hard enough to keep up with them already but the amount of knowledge the hero acquired from talking to them alone was insane.
It was the type of learning experience that required failing repeatedly to get to the answer. The hero didn’t enjoy it.
But the villain only chuckled.
“I was trying to say that being determined and scared can coexist. You did something that demands great courage.” They tilted their head. “And yet, it is a very scary thing.”
With slow steps, the hero approached them until they were close enough. They sat down on the villain’s lap. Unsurprisingly, their nemesis didn’t protest.
They weren’t proud of what had happened, they weren’t proud of what they’d done.
“How can a person obtain information no one dares to whisper?” the hero asked. “How can that person receive it within seconds?”
“You tell me,” the villain said. An invitation. It would’ve been illogical to decline.
“You had two helpers. Someone who can teleport. Someone who can turn invisible. I don’t know how you convinced them but they were heroes once.”
The villain nodded.
“The Romans had to learn the hard way how important spies are. They learnt it from the Carthaginian. Like I learnt from you years ago,” the villain said. It was difficult to imagine that all this was the hero’s fault. “Now, tell me what you did when you found out.”
The hero was quiet until the villain’s palm brushed their thigh softly. The villain seemed unfittingly euphoric.
“I knew they wouldn’t be easy to keep in a cell.”
“So?”
“So I killed them.” The villain nodded.
“You killed them,” the villain agreed. “Did you know crows wait for other predators to tear open their prey?”
The hero waited. The villain wasn’t angry. They were fascinated. It hadn’t even occurred to the hero that this was the solution up until yesterday.
And still, even though this was a major success when it came to stopping the villain, it wasn’t satisfactory. Killing two of their own people hadn’t been pretty.
“Did you know curiosity killed the cat?” the hero asked back. Behind their back, they clenched their fist to stop their hand from shaking.
Within seconds, several red laser dots pointed at the villain. With the hero on their lap, pressing them into the couch, there wasn’t anywhere to go. The sharpshooters wouldn’t let the villain move a muscle.
And behind the shocked expression, the hero saw something they weren’t sure if they loathed or liked: a certain admiration for only them.
#villain it’s a trap u stupid ahh#I am behind you I always find you I am the tiger#somehow completely managed to ignore the dumbfounded part I AM SO SORRY#I’m not even close to being able to write smart characters but I hope this is ok 👹#writing snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroxvillain snippet#heroes and villains#hero#villain#hero x villain#heroxvillain#an answer for an ask#request
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Can’t You See This Is Breaking Me? | n romanoff
Summary: Natasha isn’t quite ready to give her entire life for the woman she loves
Warnings: injuries, blood, stitches, no happy ending
wc: 5.2k
note: this idea was given to me by @katyaromanoffpetrova (love you 🤍) and she’s fuelling my love hate relationship with angst. Also, this was so hard to condense, so I’m sorry if it’s lacking detail. I tried to cram three years of a relationship into 5k words :)
-⧗-
It was no secret to anyone how little regard Natasha had for her own life. Even since her very first Shield mission, she’d been a force to be reckoned with, partly down to her pure destructive nature. She didn’t care if taking down Hydra agents meant coming away with a bullet wound or two. Or if destroying an enemy testing laboratory meant four broken ribs and a cracked collar bone. As long as the job was done, that was all she cared about.
Nick Fury was getting tired of how many lectures he had given a young, 25 year old Natasha in his office when he’d read her completed mission report. He knew why she had such a blatant disregard for her life but it didn’t make it any easier seeing one of his best agents beaten and bruised each week. The redhead barely flinched when her wounds were inspected, but to be honest she didn’t really react to anything.
She was more of a ghost really, a pale figure soundlessly walking the halls at night. If her injuries didn’t let keep her awake at night, then the nightmares gladly took their turn, drenching her entire body in a cold sweat and leaving her shivering in her tangled sheets. But if the dark circles under her eyes looked worse, her friend and mentor Clint didn’t utter a word.
The structure and routine that manifested week by week kept her grounded and focused. Wake up, train, eat, surveillance, sleep. Missions were a welcome break from the otherwise monotonous rhythm Natasha had found herself in. She much preferred working solo as opposed to in a team, but Shield was all about team work so she had to suck it up.
A lot of the time she found herself alongside Clint Barton who weirdly offered her a feeling of comfort. She liked how he never pried too much into how she was feeling, or her past, but kept a look out for her whenever they were together. Her icy demeanour slowly melted away thanks to his warmth that he never failed to show her.
He showed her how to let people in, how to not keep her heart so tightly guarded in fear of actually feeling something about someone. And as much as she would hate to admit it, he was right. It did feel better knowing people cared about her. But it also terrified her at the same time. Vulnerability wasn’t her strong suit.
Yet somehow she had managed to let her tough exterior be pushed aside just long enough for a certain someone to wiggle her way in and take up permanent residence inside the redhead’s mind.
Y/n Y/l/n wasn’t really anyone compared to Natasha. Sure, she was a shield agent, and a high ranking one at that, but that was nothing compared to an Avenger. She’d spend years in their shadow, always looking up to Natasha Romanoff. I mean, who wouldn’t? She’s pretty badass.
But the young agent thought her relationship with said Avenger would end at idolisation and daydreaming. She never expected to suddenly be living amongst them in the compound. But when an empty training room was suddenly disrupted at three in the morning, it was a sign things were to change forever.
Y/n relished the silence that the training room at night brought. Most of her colleagues preferred to train in a group at 7am, but insomnia often brought her into the gym a lot earlier. She loved it though; a way to clear her head and exhaust her body whilst maintaining peak physical fitness required in case of a last second mission.
Lost in a world of music playing through her headphones, Y/n failed to notice the door slowly open, caught up in her boxing routine on the punch bag. She should have been more aware of her surroundings, like she’d been trained, so that she didn’t nearly jump out of her skin as a voice cut through her music.
“You’re gonna get a sore back if you keep using the wrong form.”
Without having ever met in person, Y/n would recognise that voice anywhere. She whipped around and quickly pulled her headphones off around her neck, cheeks flushing as she took in the woman in front of her.
A black sports bra and navy sweatpants was all that adorned Natasha’s toned body. She stood there with a hand on her hip, the other holding a small towel, a water bottle and her own pair of headphones. Y/n desperately tore her eyes away from the widow’s toned abs, feeling her own insecurities creep upwards. She itched for her sweatshirt that lay discarded on the bench just out of reach. That was the last time she ever trained in a sports bra.
“You keep twisting your back as you punch. You need to move from your hips.” Y/n just looked at her with surprise, not fully processing that they were having a conversation at all. “Do you want me to show you?”
“Yeah, sure.” That snapped her out of her trance. Y/n took a step back and allowed Nat to place her things down before she packed a swift punch to the bag, sending it swinging slightly on its stand. Y/n couldn’t lie, she looked really good, arm muscles tensed as she threw a few more punches. Her form was impeccable, but of course it was.
“When you swing round you have to rotate your hips for momentum. Just turning from your back will cause injury.” Y/n nodded, mirroring her stance on the punching bag beside Natasha. “Unless you’re doing lots of smaller ones, then you need to keep your hips still. That just comes from your shoulders.”
Nat threw a few more punches before Y/n copied, missing the small smile that broke out on the Russian’s lips as she observed. Fast learner, she noted, nodding in approval as Y/n turned back to her.
“Very good.” She bent down to grab her things, back muscles on full show to Y/n who just could not stop staring. You’d think she was used to the sight of toned bodies after working out everyday, but there was something different about Natasha and she couldn’t quite work it out.
“Thank you. I’m Y/n, by the way. I work in-“
“I know who you are,” Natasha said casually, looking the woman up and down. “You work with Hill. She talks about you.”
Y/n’s eyes went wide. “She does?”
Nat smirked. “Yeah, why? Does she not talk about me?”
“No, she does- we do-“ what happened to calm and collected shield agent she once was? Reduced to a stuttering mess of words in front of a pretty redhead. God, Y/n cursed herself for not being able to talk to women.
“I’m joking, don’t worry.” Natasha gave her a soft smile before walking off to the weights section, her headphones shutting out the world so she could focus.
Y/n however, could not focus on anything except that brief interaction. It was probably so small in Natasha’s life, yet it would consume Y/n for at least a week, if not more. Maria was going to have a field day with this.
Except it wasn’t small in Natasha’s life. The flustered agent had left quite a mark and Natasha found herself creeping down to the gym at 3am most mornings, hoping to see the woman she’d grown to love so much. And, more often than not, Y/n was there, punching away at the bag and pausing when Nat came in.
Over a course of many weeks, both had changed their training plans to match each other. It felt nice working out with another, Natasha had to admit, and Y/n was so easy to talk to she set the redhead right at ease. They talked and laughed and Y/n noticed how the usually uptight Russian had come out of her shell a lot more since that very first night.
However, one night didn’t go so smoothly. Y/n was in the training room first, of course. She sat on the bench and adjusted her socks, keeping herself busy until Natasha arrived. The past couple of nights had been just her as the redhead had been on a mission, but Maria informed her that she would return tonight, so Y/n anxiously awaited her return. She was more worried about Natasha than she let on, but they had no relationship outside of those four walls so she bounced her knee, willing her new friend to walk through the doors.
And she did. Except this wasn’t the confident Natasha she usually knew. No, this Natasha was walking stiffly, almost as if she was in pain.
“Nat?” Y/n asked, standing hesitantly at the sight of her. Small cuts and bruises littered her face and what skin was exposed under the neck of her tactical suit. Agents always had to report to medical following their return from a mission, but by the looks of Natasha, she hadn’t done that. “Why- what are you doing here?”
“Can’t miss training with my favourite girl, now can I?” She tried to sound upbeat but it fell flat, her pain evident even in her voice.
Y/n pushed aside the butterflies that erupted in her chest at those words and sprung up to help her, guiding Natasha to the nearest bench and forcing her to sit. She took note of how Natasha’s hand tightly clutched her side and she feared the worst.
She thought for a second, feeling Natasha’s eyes all over her face. “May I…?” She gestured to the zip on Natasha’s suit and the redhead nodded, stiffly manoeuvring her arms out of her sleeves as Y/n tugged it down to her waist. The agent had switched to processional mode and ignored how close Natasha’s bra clad chest was to her face as she inspected her side.
“What happened?” She asked, crouching down with a hand gently resting on the redhead’s knee as she gently felt the skin around the wound.
“Some stupid agent snuck up on me and threw his knife. Shit aim though.” Of course she tried to make a joke, but Y/n wasn’t laughing as she looked into her eyes. The redhead almost wanted to roll her eyes, and she would have done if anyone else looked at her with pity like that, but Y/n was different. Safer.
“Why didn’t you go to medical?”
Nat looked down, averting her eyes. “I didn’t want to. I hate it there.”
Y/n knew not to push. She didn’t know much about Natasha’s past but knew enough to know that it must have been horrific to endure. She sat back on her heels and bit her lip in thought.
“Will you let me sort it? I keep a suture kit and supplies in my bathroom.” She caught Natasha’s eye and gently squeezed her knee, trying to establish enough trust between them to let her accept the help. But Natasha was stubborn, so there was truly no way of knowing which way she’d swing.
“Ok.” That was not the expected answer but Y/n was happy to hear it. She knew not to help Natasha up, the redhead probably would have punched her, so she collected her things and led them both back to her apartment, walking a bit slower than normal to help Natasha keep up.
Her room was nothing special and probably looked identical to Natasha’s as they both had Shield issued rooms. Although Natasha’s would be fancier thanks to Tony Stark and his upgrades.
There were no personal items on any of the surfaces, not even in the bedroom. Natasha looked around with a frown, not liking how bare everything seemed. Not homely, that’s for sure. Even the bedside cabinets were empty, not even a picture frame for decoration.
“Take a seat anywhere, I’ll be right out.” Natasha chose the couch by the small coffee table and sank down onto it. The couch wasn’t anything special and neither was the table, ring marks displaying its age and use on the surface. The overhead light was dim but brightened up as Y/n stepped back into the room, a medical kit tucked under her arm.
She worked in silence, only broken by a hiss of pain from Natasha as the alcohol stung her wound. Y/n muttered an apology under her breath but kept working, fingers brushing gently over the soft skin as she made light work of stitching it closed. They weren’t the neatest but they’d do the job just fine.
“Thank you for this,” Natasha spoke into the silence, her eyes fixed on her fingers that rested on her lap. “You didn’t have to.”
“Maybe not, but I wanted to. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”
Natasha stayed silent for a moment, trying to organise her thoughts. She had people who cared about her, the Avengers, but not quite like Y/n had. She didn’t care who Natasha was, or how well she could take down enemies. She just enjoyed her presence and cared for her as a human being, something she rarely felt like she was.
“Can I make this up to you?” She tentatively asked, the strong Black Widow now a weird mess of nerves. What even was this?
“No, you don’t have to-“
“Come out with me on Saturday, into the city. Can I buy you lunch?”
Y/n stifled her smile and hid her face whilst packing up her equipment. She knew Natasha was asking her out on a date, albeit in a very roundabout way. It warmed her heart though, seeing her so soft. It was a side very few people ever got to see.
“Ok, sure. I’d really like that.”
Natasha smiled. “Now I know where you sleep, I’ll come pick you up.”
Y/n scrunched her nose at the odd phrasing. “You had to make it weird.”
“You know me,” she replied with a wink.
~~~
That date was a catalyst for many more to follow, and many midnight training sessions too. It took six more months of flirting and secret meet ups before Natasha pulled her heart out and wore it on her sleeve, asking Y/n to be her girlfriend.
The agent wasn’t stupid, of course she said yes. And at first their relationship was purely in the honeymoon stages; sneaking kisses in the hallway, comforting touches underneath the table, more midnight training and also moving in together. Natasha’s apartment was bigger than Y/n could ever have imagined and she adored the bed, starfishing face down on the mattress the first time she saw it.
But that was two years ago. Sure, they were still very much in love but something had shifted between them, creating a rift that Y/n had started to notice more and more. She knew what was causing it too.
Natasha was going on missions every other week, for days at a time. And she’d fallen back into her old habits, putting the job and the result over the safety of herself. More times than not did she come battered and bruised, open wounds bleeding as she walked into the bedroom. Y/n begged her to stop, to stay home more, to reduce the amount she went on even just to one a month, but her desperate attempts were met with a slammed door and a wall in Natasha’s mind. But she still persisted, trying again the next time Natasha came home. But it was useless.
Y/n always waited up for her though, the nerves of what state Natasha would be in when she returned making sleep pretty much impossible. Whatever she imagined, somehow it was always worse. She used to quiz Natasha as she led her into the bathroom and patched her up, placing kisses on each bruise that she found.
But now they barely said a word, Y/n almost running on autopilot as she cleaned cuts on Natasha’s back for what felt like the millionth time. It was draining her, anyone could see that, and being on edge all the time had made Maria notice.
“Take a week off to clear your head,” her supervisor had ordered, not taking any protests into consideration. “I don’t want to see you in this office before next Thursday, Y/l/n.”
A week off would have been great for anyone else but her. Natasha was away, again, which left Y/n with no ways to fully distract herself like she usually did to cope. She spent the first day in bed, holding onto Natasha’s pillow as her tears soaked the pillowcase. She hated how out of control she felt when Natasha was gone. It was her job, yet Y/n often wished Nat would retire, or at least pull back from constantly being in the field. But that’s what her girlfriend loved, so she had no choice but to respect it.
But on the third day of very little sleep and increasing stress levels, Y/n hit breaking point. She stared at her ghostly reflection as she splashed her face with some water, trying desperately to snap herself out of the lie she was feeling. But under the glaring lights all she could focus on were the heavy bags under her eyes and her discoloured skin, pink blotches littering her cheeks and forehead. She’d been picking at her skin to cope, but it did nothing but make her look worse.
She remained a zombie all day, curling back under the covers at 7pm to shut out the world. There was no telling when Natasha would return but part of her didn’t want it to be yet. She didn’t want to see the state she was in, the mess that she’d have to clean up. She loved Natasha, she really did, but with no contact allowed on her missions and no updates from the team, Y/n was starting to question if their relationship was even working.
She flicked off the light and turned to face the wall, images flashing in front of her as she worried herself stupid about her girlfriend. What if she wasn’t coming home? What if she’d been kidnapped? What if-
The apartment door opened.
Y/n held her breath, pulling the covers tightly under her chin as she waited. She knew the sound of Natasha’s footsteps based on her different moods, but the assassin stepped so lightly it was hard to tell. She felt footsteps getting closer and closer and she squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to face the horrors to come. She wanted one more blissful moment, but her heart was racing in her chest and her throat was getting tight.
The bedroom door opened.
Light from the living room flooded in through the small gap as Natasha stepped through, brows furrowed at the darkness. It wasn’t that late, but maybe she’d missed something. Wasn’t like she was around much.
“Y/n?” She whispered, not wanting to turn the light on. But she didn’t need to worry about that when suddenly the room was bathed in light. Her girlfriend was sat up in bed, eyes blotchy as she stared at her with a hand on the light switch. “What happened?”
“What hurts?” Y/n asked, sliding off her side of the bed and padding over to the bathroom. “Stitches? Probably bruising too.” She was talking to herself more than Natasha, hands working to gather her supplies. But she was stopped when a pair of rough hands gathered hers inside them, tugging her away from the sink. “What are you doing?”
“I’m ok,” Natasha said, removing one of her hands to gently cup Y/n’s chin, tilting her eyes to meet her own. “Just a couple of bruised ribs, but that’s nothing.”
“At least let me look at them.” Natasha knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer so she unzipped her suit and pulled it to her waist, revealing the nasty colourful sight. It was swollen and tender and Y/n cursed under her breath. She grabbed the tiger balm and gently applied it, trying to steady her shaking fingers as they touched Natasha’s skin.
“How have you been? How’s work?”
“Its fine, thanks.” Y/n wasn’t going to admit that Maria made her take a week off. She avoided Natasha’s gaze as she worked, even though there wasn’t much she could do for bruised ribs. “I’ll get you an ice pack when you’re dressed.” That was Natasha’s dismissal cue and she took it, but not without lingering in the doorway to watch Y/n for a moment.
By the time Natasha was dressed in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, Y/n had wrapped the ice pack in a towel and handed it to her. There was an uneasy tension between them and Natasha could see something was on Y/n’s mind, just waiting to be said.
“Y/n-“
“This is your last one, right?” She couldn’t help herself but blurt out. Somehow she found the confidence with her back to Nat, sitting on her side of the bed. “Please tell me it’s your last one.”
“Of what?”
“Your missions, Natasha.” She bent one knee and tucked it beside her as she turned her body to face Natasha who was still standing in the middle of the room, ice pack pressed to her ribs. “How many times are you going to keep doing this? Coming home in a state! I never know if one day you’re just not going to come home at all.”
Natasha bit her bottom lip. She knew this was going to happen, it always did. And shutting Y/n down didn’t exactly get easier with practice. “Don’t do this again Y/n, please. You know what my answer is.”
“No, Natasha. I’m not gonna accept that anymore. I’m not asking you to quit all together. I just mean reduce the number you go on, take up desk work or surveillance, just something, anything, to get you out of the firing line.” Y/n ran her hands over her face, trying to keep herself together. But the more she spoke, the stronger her emotions got. “I can’t live like this anymore!”
Natasha had placed her ice pack on the bed, not feeling the need to hold it up right now. She couldn’t move, even though she wanted to run to Y/n. “I know you don’t like it-“
“I hate it.”
“Ok fine, you hate it,” she held her hands up in defense. “But that doesn’t mean I suddenly have to stop.”
Y/n stood up from her position, not wanting an ache in her back from turning so much. She and Natasha were now at eye level although the redhead’s stoic face was a lot more composed than her own.
“You’re not listening to anything I say. I never said you had to stop. Ever. Because that would be hypocritical coming from me.” Natasha pulled a ‘sounds about right’ face which Y/n just ignored. “I’m just asking you to reduce the amount you go on. Once a month, maybe? You can still be in the action, still do everything you love, but that way you’re safer and you’re here more. I hardly see you.”
Natasha shook her head. “Our line of work isn’t safe Y/n, even you know that surely.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She was getting defensive, having reached her limit of Natasha trying to shut her down.
Natasha was too stubborn to give up, even when she knew she fucked up. She just couldn’t let it go. “You rarely leave this place! Always stuck in the same office, the same four walls going insane every day! I don’t know how you do it! I’d rather quit than do that.”
“I do that because I can still contribute to the missions without the risk of getting blown to hell,” Y/n spat, taking full offense to Natasha talking down about her job. Sure, she didn’t go into the field as much as the other agents but she preferred to be in the chair, handling everything from above. “And you know damn well those missions you love don’t work without someone like me.”
“And that’s great, for someone like you. But I can’t do that, you have to understand me. I can’t be behind the fight, I have to be in it.”
“No one else goes on as many as you do, Natasha. Don’t you think that just once, someone else can take a mission-“
“I don’t care Y/n!” Natasha may be a passionate person but she never raised her voice. So her elevated tone made Y/n’s jaw clench, her innate response whenever someone shouted at her. “You don’t get to dictate my life! That wasn’t our agreement-“
“Agreement? What, so this is, are we some kind of, I don’t know, contract that you’re obliged to?”
Natasha scoffed, her eyes rolling back at the pure ridiculousness of her statement. This whole argument was pointless really but she entertained it, too stubborn to give in or let Y/n win. “Oh come on, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I’m just sick of lying here in fear every week wondering if you’re actually going to come home or not! I can’t keep doing this Nat.” Y/n was having a hard time keeping Natasha in her vision as tears blurred in her eyes. But she wouldn’t let them spill. Crying meant Natasha won and she was done with backing down.
“We can’t keep having this conversation, Y/n,” Natasha grunted, running her fingers through her hair and tugging out the messy braid. “You know I can’t stop. This is my life, it’s what I was made to do. I can’t live without this job!”
“And I can’t live without you!” Her voice cracked and a tear slipped down but she fought the urge to wipe it, praying Natasha didn’t see. But she did see. Of course she did. The Russian noticed everything.
Natasha went silent. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. In this line of work, relying so heavily on someone wasn’t a good idea. She knew that, it had been drilled into her since she was a child. But Y/n didn’t, and that’s where she slipped up.
“Don’t say that.” Heavy emotions and Natasha Romanoff didn’t really mix well. “You have to, one way or another. You can’t just rely on me Y/n.”
“Nat, I am in love with you but lately it feels like all you care about is your job. When is it going to feel like you actually want to be here? With me?”
“I do Y/n, I do-“
Y/n dropped her head. “I know there’s a but coming.”
Natasha looked at the defeated form of her girlfriend and winced. She never thought she’d ever be in the position where she had to choose between family and her job. But she knew what her choice would be, what it always had been. Long before she even had a family.
“This job means everything to me. I didn’t choose this life, like you did, I was forced into it. It’s part of who I am, and I can’t just stop doing that to be with you.” The second those words fell from her lips Natasha knew that was the wrong thing to say.
Y/n adjusted the collar of her shirt and started to pace. If she was sitting down her leg would have been bouncing all over the place.
“What, that’s it? You’re just gonna call this whole thing off because you can’t take a break from your job?”
“What ‘whole thing’?”
“Us, Natasha! Us!” Y/n stopped in her tracks, gesturing between them both. They were on opposite sides of the room, a clear divide in space and opinion. “Unless there isn’t an ‘us’ anymore. Maybe I’m just the girl who keeps your bed warm and stitches you up in the middle of the night, no questions asked. Occasionally gives you head if you are really in the mood-“
“Stop it Y/n.”
“Stop what? It’s the truth, isn’t it? That’s all I am to you.”
“‘No, you’re so much more.” Natasha’s fingers were fidgeting with each other and they’d stumbled across a small cut on her palm that they were now playing with, the pain trying to keep her grounded. “But you have to understand that I can’t just take a step back. I love this job more than anything because I actually get to do something good with my skills that have been used for the opposite my whole life. I just need you to understand that, please!”
“You’re not gonna stop, are you?” Natasha just stared at her, chewing on her bottom lip. “No matter what, you will keep coming back here in a mess and I will keep fixing you up and we will keep having this conversation. Is there an end to this?”
“I won’t come here then.” Natasha stated simply, eyes darting momentarily to the bathroom door. “I’ll go to medical, where I should be.”
“You hate it there.”
“You hate me here.”
Y/n sighed, her breath shaky. This was the longest they’d ever fought for, and fighting Natasha was mentally exhausting. She had an answer to everything.
“I don’t hate you here, I just wish you’d fucking listen to me for one goddamn second!” Natasha nodded, almost challenging her to speak.
“I am.”
“I didn’t want to say this, but you haven’t exactly given me much of a choice. It’s me or the job, Nat. You choose. And you know what? If you choose me, you still keep half your job! But if you choose the job, you don’t get to keep half of me.” The last part sounded stupid but Natasha knew what she meant. She only had half of Y/n right now. The half that slept in her bed and fixed her wounds. If she chose her, she’d get the other half she fell in love with back.
But she couldn’t, could she? Natasha looked down, not wanting to watch Y/n’s face respond. “I’m sorry…”
“Get out.” It was barely a whisper but Natasha heard it. “Get. Out.” Y/n didn’t want Natasha to see her cry but when their eyes met again, Y/n’s were flooded with tears. She didn’t care, how could she when the green ones staring back at her were so cold. Natasha didn’t say a word, only grabbing her sweatshirt and slipping out of the room. The faint jangle of her keys sounded as the door slammed shut and only then did Y/n allow her walls to come crumbling down.
She collapsed onto the bed, only this time hugging her own pillow close as she choked out her sobs. They echoed around the room and her gag reflex kicked in from how hard she was crying. But all she could see was Natasha’s emotionless face staring back at her, not a hint of remorse visible in her eyes.
Reaching to flick off the light, Y/n caught sight of something that made her cry harder. Her bedside table hadn’t been empty for two and a half years. A single picture frame now sat there. And it was in that moment that Y/n wished it had just stayed empty.
#natasha romanoff#fanfic#marvel#natasha romanoff x reader#black widow#natasha romanoff x female#natasha romanoff oneshot#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x female reader
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ROTTMNT x Reader
s/o on their period hcs
Rise! Leo, Raph, Donnie, Mikey x Reader
fluff :D, afab reader, romantic, mentions of blood, MENSTRUATION 🤞, swearing, Leo being stupid 🤌
Leo
- He didn’t know what menstruation was until you told him
- “Wait, wait, wait. Slow down a sec. You’re telling me you BLEED out of your...you know, for a whole week every single month? …and you don’t, like, die?”
- I’m not going to lie to you, he’s a little disgusted. Not by you, but more so the whole bleeding and shedding your uterine lining thing.
- Lowkey hates your period more than you do
- glares at your uterus /hj
- “Uuuuggghhhhh, why does it have to get in the way of everything?” “Hey, don’t blame me! Blame god for that.” “Gods a bit of a dick, if you ask me.”
- If you believe he isn’t going to make period jokes, you are SORELY mistaken
- OF COURSE he’ll come over and cuddle if you ask. He’ll use any excuse he can to see you.
- “I mean, if you really need me that bad-“ “shut the hell up, Leo.” “ok sorry.”
- most likely to piss you off (bc he’s stupid)
- massages your lower stomach and is surprisingly good at it
- watches your fav movies and shows w/ you
- tries to make you laugh so you’ll feel better if you’re not in a good mood or cramping
- agrees with everything you say when you’re ranting about something or someone (he’s scared not to)
- he doesn’t know what the hell a pad is let alone a tampon or menstrual cup
- bust out the water bottle and tampon to show him how it works and he’s gagging
- “oh my god…it gets bigger like that??? In your…oh god-“
- he’s on edge the whole time with your mood swings
- “Must be nice to be a MAN.” “How is that my fault?”
- “it’s OUR period, babe. Uter-US.”
Raph
- terrified
- he can hear you bleeding
- “what’s a uterus?” JK JK JK (maybe)
- he also didn’t know what a period is, and still doesn’t really, fully understand after you explain but still supportive nonetheless
- “you shed your uterine what now?”
- “Right, right…and you bleed out of where?…OH-“
- he just really doesn’t get how you deal with it all
- he knows you’re in pain, bleeding, and uncomfortable. that’s all he needs to know to not like it at all.
- he is SPRINTING 🏃♀️ to get you whatever you need (frantically)
- pain killers? chocolate? hot tea? a heating pad? a pad/tampon? to be held? don’t even worry, Raph’s getting it for you.
- he would reach into a pit of burning hot coal and crush them into diamonds if you asked him to
- if you have them, your mood swings are making him nervous
- “Raphael, stop staring at me like that.” “sorry.”
- will be your shoulder to cry on and just listen if you need to rant (even if you’re being unreasonable)
- offers to let you hold his teddy bears for support
- you want him to come over? he’s knocking on your window not even 5 minutes later. you want to go over? of course! you want to be alone? no problem, just let him know if you need him.
- he really just can’t stand to see you in pain or sad. (or angry)
- “I know it hurts…it’s ok, Raph’s got you.”
- asks April for advice
Donnie
- Obviously he at least knows what a period is, just not all the gory details. Who do you take him for? Leo?
- He does his research when he starts dating you so he can be prepared
- He’s really trying not to think about the fact that you bleed 24/7 for a week every month of every year. All that blood- he just can’t do it. It’s not by any means a comfortable subject for him.
- Being comforting is not his strong suit, but he tries his best (sort of)
- keeps some extra pads and tampons in his lab for you (and April) if disaster ever struck
- also has a stash of pain killers (big forehead = big headaches JK I LOVE HIM I SWEAR)
- tracks your cycle. and dreads the couple of days leading up to and of your period.
- ^ “By the way, ugh…you’re gonna start menstruating tomorrow.”
- Yes, he refers to it only as menstruation.
- “Don’t be like that, Y/N.” “Be like WHAT?” “Wait, no..that’s not what- I didn’t mean- please don’t cry-“
- he is stressing
- ^ “Y/N, I can’t know what you want unless you tell me!”
- makes hot tea for you
- claims he could come up with and invent something to “take away all your pain” but tbh I wouldn’t trust that if I were you
- pats and rubs your back for support w/ cramps
- “Donnie, it hurts so baaaaad.” “Shhh, I know it does. Just relax.”
- massages your lower stomach pt.2 not as surprisingly, he is good at it but he’s just skilled with his hands in general (NOT IN A FREAKY WAY YOU FREAKS)
- He will 100% come over and lay with you in your bed if that’s what you ask for
- Sigh. Will let you cuddle in his bed if you swear on your mother you’re not going to leak on him or his bed
- Asks April for advice (poor April)
Mikey
- BEST BF EVER <333
- Has heard of menstruation (mostly misinformation), but he’s never had to worry about it until you started dating
- will let you explain exactly what it is and why it happens
- “Wait- a whole week?! You don’t just bleed it all out at once?” my sweet, sweet boy
- very sympathetic and open about it. He can’t deny it’s a little icky, but it’s your body’s natural function and it’s not like you can help it at all so he’s very understanding
- recognizes your PMS very well. whether you get really irritable, energetic, emotional, etc.
- after the first couple cycles he sees you go through, he starts to be able to read your needs to some extent
- cooks and bakes for you 👩🍳 really anything you’re craving as long as it’s within reason
- holds you anywhere and any way you want him to
- it’s like he can feel your pain
- “Shhhhh, it’s ok. I understand.” “..no, you don’t.” “you’re right.”
- gets you pain killers if you need some
- pretty good at handling your mood swings
- If you’re a crier on your monthly (like me) he wipes away your tears :(
- “Let it out, Y/N. You’re ok, I’m right here.”
- makes care packages for you with your favorite things (snacks, drinks, feminine products, stuffed animals, heating pads, etc.)
- if he comes to your house, he’ll offer to run a warm bath for you and wait for you to be done
- not necessarily scared, but definitely a little more careful with his choice of words towards you
- actually the sweetest I love him sm
- watching movies and shows if you don’t feel like getting up. or even just laying with you if you don’t feel like do anything but sleeping
- he’s very proud of himself for taking care of you
- “you’re the best, Mikey, thank you.” “Yeah, I know.”
#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise donnie#rise leo#rottmnt x reader#tmnt#rise mikey#rise raph#rottmnt#rise donatello#donnie hamato#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt x y/n#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt x you#rise leo x reader#rise donatello x reader#rise donnie x reader#rise raph x reader#rise raphael#rise mikey x reader#rise michelangelo#rise leonardo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles x reader#tmnt x reader#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt donnie x reader
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Twice Headcanons: How They Act When They’re Jealous!
Nayeon:
on the outside, she’s completely calm. she gives off such calculated control, you’d never even know she was jealous
however on the inside, she’s having a complete downward spiral
her jealousy just validates the insecurities she already has; that she’s not pretty enough, not smart enough, not cool enough… not good enough for you.
she’ll start overanalyzing everything about her personality until she’s drowning in her own self criticism
all of this introspection makes her grow distant, which is your ONLY sign that something is wrong
the only thing that will snap her out of this is if you sit her down to her and explain in vivid detail how much you love everything about her, and how no one could ever replace her 💞
Jeongyeon:
scarily quiet
doesn’t like feeling threatened, so she gets insecure whenever someone seems to be making you happier than her
will start digging for dirt on whoever seems to be interested in you, doing a full background check
“hey Y/N, did you know they flunked out of college? no? oh, i just heard that through the grape vine.”
gives you a cold glare every time you mention their name
will protectively place a hand on your lower back the whole time you’re out with them
it’s not that she doesn’t trust you, it’s them she doesn’t trust.
if she gets pushed hard enough, she won’t hesitate to call them out on it in front of everyone
“why don’t you find your own girlfriend/boyfriend/ partner instead of chasing after mine? it’s honestly really pathetic.”
Momo:
the opposite of jeongyeon, she’s loud and fiery about her jealousy
not afraid to make a scene whatsoever
it’s kind of hot honestly
won’t hesitate to publicly humiliate someone for coming onto you
“Oh, you thought they were interested in you? That’s cute. Why would they want you when they already have me?”
would get violent if anyone put their hands on you
“get your filthy hands off of them before i break every bone in them.”
will kiss you in public if it makes people stop staring at you, and will smirk at them from across the room afterwards to rub it in their face that she’s the one who gets to kiss you
you would never even think of trying to make her jealous, she would be far too terrifying 😭
Sana:
her? jealous? no, never. jealousy is barbaric and petty, something totally beneath her!
at least… that’s what she tells you
if it’s just some average person, she wouldn’t care and just brush it off
but if it’s someone she perceives as more successful than her, she’ll start getting insecure
she doesn’t like competition, so if someone manages to shake her, she turns a little sour 😙
very passive aggressive
“why don’t you go hang out with them, since you two are so close?”
however, she’s adorable when she’s jealous, and has the cutest little pout… you can’t stop yourself from grabbing her face and kissing her, which 9 times out of 10 makes her feel better
Jihyo:
she doesn’t get jealous very often, she trusts you a lot and knows you wouldn’t run off with someone else just because they showed interest in you
she doesn’t see other people in your life as competition, she’s secure in the fact that she’s the one you chose as your partner
she would pretty much only get upset if she felt that you were blatantly disrespecting your relationship by shamelessly flirting with others
she doesn’t like to be controlling, but there are times when she’ll tell you not to associate with certain people anymore because of how they don’t honor your relationship. it’s not an ultimatum, more of a test to see how much you really care about her
but that’s only in the worst case scenario. most of the time she’s very open about her feelings. she’s not afraid to be vulnerable with you :)
Dahyun:
she doesn’t get jealous too often, but when she does, it can be intense
she doesn’t like coming off as insecure so she tends to keep it to herself
if it starts getting to her, she might start mirroring your actions
you start hanging out with your friends more than her? she can do that too. you have friends of your preferred romantic gender? she has some of those too
it will either go two ways: one, you’ll feel hurt and realize how you’ve been making her feel, and then the behavior will stop on both ends
or two, you’re perfectly fine with what she’s doing, and she realizes her jealousy was silly and lets it go
after this, she would FINALLY feel secure enough to have a talk with you about spending more time together 😑
Mina:
turns into a completely different person
she’s highly competitive, and will immediately double down and turn their little game into a death match
if you don’t seem interested in the other person, she’ll go to extreme lengths to secure your love by making extravagant public displays of affection
that person needs to know that she loves you more than they ever could
however, if you decided to play with her heart and act interested in this person? you’ll surely regret it
she has a ph.d in revenge, and will make you 10x more jealous than you made her 💋
she hates feeling replaced or forgotten, so if you start making her feel that way, she’ll immediately try and flip it back on you before it sinks in.
Chaeyoung: 
she’s highly possessive in her relationships. you belong to her, and she belongs to you. that’s the agreement you both made when you made things exclusive
and she’s not likely to stay with someone who doesn’t honor that commitment, so if you think she’ll tolerate you flirting around and playing the field, she won’t 😬
however if you’re not actively trying to make her jealous, she’s way more calm in how she handles things
she won’t lash out on you, but rather explain to you that it bothers her how this person looks at you/ talks to you. that way, if you continue to let it happen, she can’t say she didn’t set clear boundaries with you 😗
Tzuyu:
probably the least jealous member tbh
has a mindset of “if they want to, they will.”
i.e, if you want to cheat on her, you will. then she’ll leave you and move on with her life 💁🏼♀️
but obviously you don’t want to, because HELLO you’re dating chou tzuyu???
for real though, she’s super confident in herself, so she doesn’t get threatened easily
if you ever did manage to make her jealous, she’d probably just tell you straight out
and you’d apologize profusely because you’re WHIPPED for this woman as you should be
#girl group imagines#girl group fanfic#girl group scenarios#girl group x reader#twice scenarios#twice fanfic#twice reactions#twice headcanons#twice imagines#nayeon imagines#jeongyeon x reader#momo scenarios#sana x reader#jihyo x reader#dahyun x reader#mina imagines#chaeyoung x reader#tzuyu x reader#twice x reader
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dumping fuckboy leon ramblings because i need to post it somewhere.
fuckboy leon would remember all the miniscule details about your life and he'd surprise you. he'd take you out on some shitty date and act like an asshole, and then hold his arm out before you eat your food and he's like "wait, dude aren't you allergic to soy or something? i think its in that."
he'd remember your favorite flower. and he'd huff and groan over you borrowing his sweatshirts but he'd never want to take them back unless its to get them smelling like him again. he'd accidentally say some stupid shitty thing about your appearance because that's all he knows from his friends and when he sees you get upset there's gears that turn in his head like. is that...not normal? why are they mad???? should i be getting mad ????
and you'd fall asleep on him and his entire left side would fall asleep and he'd be annoyed but he wouldn't be able to bring himself to wake you up.
and he'd ruin all your fucking attempts at dating. it wouldnt read as jealousy. not at first. he'd just do some shit. see you hitting on someone and he'd walk up, wrap an arm around you and be like "hey, how's your diarrhea going?" just to skeeve out the other person and you'd get so pissed and ask him why the fuck he did that and he'd just shrug "its funny."
fuckboy leon's epiphany moment would be so cute but it would make me cry.
him realizing he's in love. and he loves you. and what that means. and the inevitable fallout of him dealing with that and all the feelings.
i know he's terrified of commitment. he would not want to go for it. he'd maybe try and say "maybe i can just do FWB for a while and it'll be okay. maybe ill be okay with that".
but it makes him feel worse.
he tries every trick in the book but his book SUCKS.
so he tries to cut you off.
goes distant.
flings himself into other women to try and forget.
it makes him feel worse.
he picks fights with you. "maybe if they hate me i'll move on."
it makes him feel worse.
him finally breaking down at 3am calling you while he's out cross faded as fuck. dumps everything on you.
he regrets it in the morning. he does. he tries to backpedal. tries to say "wow i was sooo fucked up i don't even remember".
but you remember.
and you wont let him get away with it.
he needs you to chase him a little bit. he needs you to reassure him that there's something in him worth trying for, because otherwise what's the point. you're just there to make fun of him, right?
but once he's yours he's yours.
and it'll take a long time to undo all the things he was forced to teach himself. all the ways he was forced to hate himself. ohhh it'd be infuriating but at the end of it all you'll have a soft, sad man who wants to know love and he wants to love you so intimately and he'll do anything it takes to fight for you.
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Poor sweet tooth mc she just wants to be loved but is scared of getting hurt. Speaking of could you do a Drabble where she actually gets hurt but Yoongi and maybe even Jimin just think she’s being dramatic
Yall always want angst so there you go
"Its just a bruise baby, you're not gonna die." Jimin chuckles. You know that- you're not stupid. But you also know that it feels a lot worse than a bruise- and that Jimin isn't taking you seriously, probably because Yoongi isn't, either.
"I know you don't like going outside too much but you're being a little unreasonable now." Yoongi later sighs, crossing his arms- though he leaves you be in the living room, sitting outside in the backyard garden with Jimin to eat dinner, while you stay firmly planted on the couch, not eating anything.
It's only when Jungkook comes home that you finally feel like someone actually tries to find out what the problem really is.
You've had a little accident two days earlier- a misstep on the stairs in Yoongis house, making you miss two steps from them, leading you to harshly somewhat catch yourself on the way down. You didn't really fall- but you definitely landed weirdly on your leg, and in your humble opinion, didn't actually hit anything to cause a bruise.
So why is it bruising now? Why does it hurt so much?
Jungkook inspects your leg now on his day off, carefully assessing the damage visible before he lets you explain your symptoms and what led to it in the first place. He'd noticed you visibly limping oddly towards and from the breakfast table, worrying him a little.
"Is she still whining about the bruise?" Yoongi mumbles as he sits down on the couch a little further away from you both, and Jungkook sighs a bit to himself as he leans away to sit upright.
"Yoongi, I don't think it's just a bruise. Can you text Jimin and ask him to go see a doctor later?" He suggests, and Yoongi furrows his brows as Jimin walks in.
"She just tripped, she's always been a bit huffy when-" He starts to reason, but this time Yoongi actually shakes his head at him, before he looks at his hybrid again to urge him for more details.
"I think you might've torn a muscle." Jungkook tells you, softly running a hand over your leg. "From what you said it surely sounds and looks like it. Might wanna have someone take a proper look at it." Jungkook offers, and now, Yoongi feels some guilt creep up his throat.
He trusts Jungkook in stuff like this- after all, he rehabilitates hybrids and humans with exactly such injuries constantly, so he's got an eye for it.
"Oh- y-yeah, let's go right now then-" jimin stammers, looking anxious now, as Yoongi gets up with a hand on his shoulder.
"I'll drive." He offers quietly. "You go over and get her stuff." He instructs, and Jimin does as he says, visibly upset now while you look at Jungkook.
"Are they gonna cut my leg off?" You worry at the dog hybrid, who laughs, shaking his head before he pets one of your ears in reassurance.
"Absolutely not, silly cat." He laughs, and you're glad that at least he provides some comfort and security.
"...will you stay with me?" You ask, revealing to him that you're actually terrified of hospitals and doctors without saying so, and he nods, smiling warmly.
"For as long as you want me to." He says, and at that, your eyes begin to sparkle with something he's not sure he interprets correctly.
Because that glimmer in your eyes..
It looks suspiciously like love.
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#hybrid imagine#jeon jungkook x reader#yoongi imagine#jeon jungkook imagine#jimin imagine
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LITTLE DETAILS AND PLOT POINTS I FORGOT ABOUT IN SEASON 1
From like episode 65 onwards
• The Kiki and Zane baby pendent plot line is so odd like did that actually do anything that impacts the plot? Like why would Zane have a reason to do that? I know he’s evil and all but he has goal he’s trying to reach and what does Kiki having a werewolf baby have to do with that? I’m probably just forgetting more stuff that happens later in the season to be honest.
• Plus you would think that Garroth would have been more concerned about it seeing as Leona could have potentially been his niece.
• When the group gets lost after they leave Malachi’s castle Laurance suggests that Garroth could cuddle with the horses while him and aph cuddle
• He later also clears away poison ivy for a “romantic camping spot” at Lucinda’s while Aph kills crabs
• Garroth is the one that taught Levin to call Aphmau Mama (I think it would be funny if Levin sort of had a british accent because of Garroth and says some words differently like Mum)
• Garroth actively tries to start pursuing Aphmau after the castle with Malachi (presumably because Laurance spent the whole trip getting there convincing Garroth to tell Aphmau his feelings)
• While they’re traveling Laurance seems to constantly trying to force Garroth to confess his feelings to Aphmau and straight up tells Aph that Garroth has feelings for her at nether portal at the werewolf village
• Garroth tries to confess his feelings at camp at Lucinda’s house but Laurance is listening in and only interrupts when Garroth changes the topic to Brightport
• Laurance comes up with the idea of the phoenix alliance
• For some reason Laurance knows everything and is always explaining stuff to Aphmau like he’s the human equivalent of an lore info dump like he’s the one that forces Garroth to talk about his father (Laurance is the world building of this universe)
• Neither Aphmau or Laurance ever sleep
• Dante stays up a lot too and in the beginning he likes to be alone
• Laurance is always eavesdropping on everyone’s conversations literally he is the nosiest.
• Laurance is also way too chill about knowing Gene and for some reason just never says anything to Dante??
• Also I skipped some episodes because season one is slow and I haven’t finished rewatching season 1 but Dante is really chill about Laurance being a shadow knight despite having his entire life being torn apart by his shadow knight brother
• Laurance tells the shadow knight lady and innkeeper in Pikoro to never stop loving her probably because it helps keep her human and wishes Aphmau would do the same for him.
• Laurance is more of a realist than Garroth is both are good at reading situations but Laurance tends to less optimistic than Garroth is (probably from his experiences in the nether.)
• Laurance is also just very good at reading people and understanding their weaknesses
• Laurance realizes that love is able fight against the shadow knight’s magic and that furthers it as a theme in the story
• Garroth despite having a rivalry with Laurance confides in him often and this gives Laurance an intimate look into Garroth’s thoughts
• Laurance pretends to lean in but there’s actually a ladybug on Aph’s shoulder before just telling her about the Magicks and Witchcraft war
• Garroth goes out of his way to try and to spend time with Aphmau like trying to walk her home.
• Dante asks for a combat doll from Nana and thinks he’s met her somewhere before (I don’t remember if this comes back later in the series) and I feel like it hints at a future romance pretty well as first interaction.
• Garroth catches Aphmau when she falls from the tree and Aphmau is pretty calm about the whole situation despite that being a terrifying thing to happen (plus I feel like Garroth should have been more scared and thankful he caught her time like he nearly lost the woman he’s in love with.)
• Then they play with both Levin and Malachi in the tree house like a little family
• Laurance gives Levin and Malachi a book that Zoey reads to them (in my rewrite it would be the legend/fairy tale of aphmau’s name)
• Lucinda and Nana used to have rival cat cafes! Then they have duel!
• Laurance wears gold armor for couple episodes before getting the armor upgrade
• Garroth removes his helm when Aphmau asks him to immediately where before he refused. He trusts Aphmau and presumably Laurance and Dante completely.
• Garroth designed armor when he was younger probably at guard school that somehow Katelyn got a hold of and turned into armor for the guards along coordinating colors that match their personalities
• Garroth, Dante, and Laurance are all on the jury of 9 waitlist
I’m rewatching season one and it’s so much information to sift through. Also there are millions of other things that I probably forgot. Don’t get me wrong, I love it but after season one Jess went a different direction with the storytelling and that was a great decision.
#aphmau#aphmau mcd#garmau#garrence#garroth ro'meave#mcd rewrite#minecraft diaries#larmau#laurance zvahl
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can u write jealous Jackie hcs? if u do, thanks in advance:)
you're welcome brooo. love jackie requests for sure don't even worry about it man
Jealous Jackie HC's
girl watches you like a fucking hawk whenever someone's talking to you. even if she's actively talking to someone else you'll catch her keeping an eye on the situation the whole time
walks up to you afterwards all like “so what were we talking about?? 😁😁” with a dangerous glint in her eyes. Jackie Taylor can be terrifying when she puts her mind to it. god forbid someone makes a serious move on you. she might even sic Shauna on them
Jackie will know someone's entire life story if she's jealous of them. walk into the living room to see her on her laptop looking at the layout of their house on a realtor website. be glad you left before she built it on the sims and set it in fire. it was… disturbing.
she sips at her drink to distract herself and ends up getting fucking wasted every time. accidentally throws up on your shoes and still asks if you think she's pretty afterward
Jackie gets more insecure when she sees you talking to a man (even if you're obviously not interested in them), but gets extremely jealous when she sees you talking to a woman. lives for running those girls off. walks over to talk to them and is like “hey I heard a rumor that…” until they get so uncomfortable they leave
Jackie gives shauna a play-by-play of every single event in such excruciating detail that Shauna's tapping her head against the wall hoping she somehow knocks herself out. Shauna pleads with you to never talk to anyone ever again so she doesn't have to hear about it again.
1996 Jackie taking notes from one of those teen magazine articles like “10 ways to keep your man from straying” like it's her fucking job (someone breathed in your direction). absolutely does not work for her. you ask her why she's been so fucking weird all week and she looks frustrated that you didn't fall even deeper in love with her like the article promised you would. somehow it's your fault, she knows it.
Jackie tries taping their face on a dart board because she's seen it in movies but can't get a single dart to land on the board and ends up madder than she started.
self-indulgent but thinking about Jackie knowing you're nearsighted and drunk Jackie stealing your glasses because “why would you need to see other girls further away?? 🙄🙄”
Jackie Taylor is a master of pretending to drunkenly pour her drink on whoever she's jealous about. all wide-eyed apologies and slurring her words as she looks so genuinely sorry that you even start to believe her it it wasn't for that smug look that crossed her face as they walk off to change
she's all fucking over you. climbing into your lap, arms wrapped around your shoulders, faced buried in your neck, whispering little things in your ear. imagine how close you think two people could get. not close enough. Jackie's got that beat.
doesn't like feeling jealous so she'll flirt with other people to get your attention because she wants you to be the jealous one instead. except she always makes the worst fucking choices. it's always like Shauna (which 🤷 is hot. let's be real. you're into it.) or someone she's visibly not interested in or someone visibly not interested in her. she just sees red and can't think straight I'm afraid
Jackie conspicuously reading a newspaper she doesn't realize is upside down with those mustache glasses in the corner of the restaurant while you're getting dinner with an old friend to catch up
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Can I request how Alhaitham, Cyno, and Tighnari would react if they thought the reader was cheating on them? Like maybe they overheard something out of context or walked in on reader in a compromising position with someone they've been spending a lot of time with, or anything really, and then how the reader reassures them that they would never cheat. Feel free to ignore this if it makes you uncomfortable. Have a nice day!
Ooh ok, so I read this wrong at first and thought it was that the reader was cheating and I thought that was fun, but reactions to mishearing is also fun!! thanks for the request <3
♢ Characters: Alhaitham, Cyno, Tighnari
♢ Genre: angst to fluff
♢ Extra: a little short and not too detailed, sorry about that <3
Alhaitham
Well at first, he doesn't actually believe what he's seeing. Why would you cheat? Of all people.
But you'd been spending so much time with this other friend of yours, that when he found you two on top of one another, it was hard to deny the "facts".
Alhaitham was hurt- he was already a really quiet man, but the eerie silence that followed after he found you was the worst. He didn't say anything, he barely had a physical reaction other than his eyes widening a little.
He just turns and leaves. Your friend gets off of you and you sprint to follow him, just barely managing to grab his arm which he yanks away.
The words immediately come pouring out of your mouth as you explain that your friend simply slipped and you tried to catch them, but you fell too.
As you kept explaining and talking, Alhaitham didn't say a word. He was just dead silent as he always was. Finally, you paused and stared at him.
"Ok." Was all he said. You felt the despair and fear build up inside of you, you were terrified your relationship might end over a misunderstanding.
"I-I'm sorry..." you said, shakily. Alhaitham still hadn't turned to look at you and it was really making you nervous.
"Why are you sorry? You said it was an accident. Why apologize unless you did something wrong?" He challenged, finally looking at you. Honestly, you flinched a little with the way he made eye contact.
"Well, my actions still hurt you, didn't they? Something made you think I wasn't faithful. I'm sorry for that." Alhaitham went back to being silent, making you slowly reach for his arm. That's when he sighed and wrapped that same arm around you, pulling you in for a hug.
The sudden affection brought a world of relief to you and you released a breath you didn't even realize you were holding. Your arms wrapped around his waist and you hugged him so tightly. "I swear, I would never cheat on you! I love you so much, so, so much." You said, looking up at him. Alhaitham stared into your eyes for a moment before nodding.
"I believe you... I do."
Cyno
You and Cyno spending less time together wasn't either of your faults. Cyno was just really busy and you were too sometimes. It never meant you two loved one another less, it just meant you needed to work on it a bit more.
Of course, Cyno would still get a little jealous when he thought you and your friend might've been a little too close.
You see, when he constantly saw you two with your arms around one another, it sent a wave of jealousy through him.
But he rationalized. You were always loyal- why would this time change? You never gave him a reason to doubt you before, so why now?
Here's the thing: Cyno didn't think you were just being unfaithful because. But he felt as if... maybe you two drifted apart a little and maybe... you might've found interest in this new friend of yours. And all of that was confirmed when he saw you on top of your friend in your sharred bedroom.
Cyno froze up, staring at you- on top of your friend- in HIS bed. There was just a terrifying silence. Cyno opened his mouth to speak... but just closed it and looked away. A quiet grunt came from him and he turned away.
"Cyno! Cyno, wait! It's not what you think!" You yelled as you tried to follow him. You grabbed his arm and it made him freeze. "I fell! Well, they fell and I tried to catch them!"
You kept going on, trying to explain exactly how your friend fell, exactly how you tried to catch them but tripped and fell on top of them- but Cyno just stayed quiet.
"Are we still in love?" He asked, making your eyes widen. It was the first thing he'd said and it... scared you.
"O-of course we are! Yes, I'm still in love with you!" You said confidently, making him turn to you. He didn't say anything but you could see the uncertainty and sorrow in his eyes.
Without another thought, you engulfed him into a tight hug, squeezing as much as you could.
"Cyno, I love you. I'm not sure how you feel or what made you say that, but I'm still in love with you. And if you think you're losing feelings well I'll just bring them back. But my feelings haven't changed fro you- not one bit."
"You don't like your friend more?" He asked, making you shake your head.
"That's just my friend. I love them as much as I could love any friend- but you, you are my everything." Cyno fell silent and looked away, but there was a tinge of red on his cheeks and a very, very faint smile on his face.
Tighnari
You and Tighnari had been together for almost three years. Your relationship was doing pretty good until he got busy. That wasn't anything new, people got busy all the time.
But this time, his work took him far and for a long time. Of course, in your eyes the relationship never dulled. But for Tighnari, he felt as if he began to fail as a partner.
He tried, but he found it hard to keep up with you and this new friend you'd made. He didn't have a problem at first- you could be friends with anyone.
But then he noticed how much time you two spent together. Too much time. Not only that, but your friend was so... touchy. When did you start allowing that?
Tighnari told himself over and over that you wouldn't cheat. It wasn't in your nature and you were just too good of a person. If you didn't like him, you let him know. Which sent a new wave of anxiety through him. What if you were just about to end the relationship?
Then he saw it. You on top of your friend. A thousand thoughts went through his head but only one of them stuck out. "It's time." This was probably the moment you'd end your relationship with him and it was most likely his fault. He was too busy for you. This friend kept you busy- and happy, evidently.
"I-it's fine, I know." Tighnari spoke in a sorrowful tone, looking down. "Sorry." With that, he slowly turned away and left. You were frozen where you were, but it all hit you after a moment. Your friend pushed you upwards and you sprinted after him.
"Tighnari!" You called, trying to stop him but he wasn't looking at you. He was walking fast too, maybe trying to escape. You caught up to him, grabbing his arm. "Wait- please, wait!"
"It's fine, you don't have to explain. I know. I've been busy, you're in love with your friend-"
"What?! No! No, TIghnari, that's not even close!" You said, cutting him off as you stopped in front of him. "Please, don't think like that. I love you- only you. My friend just tripped and I tried to catch them, but I slipped too." You went on to explain what had happened in detail, but Tighnari wasn't listening.
You loved him? Still? After all of this?
"Tighnari? Are you listening?" You asked, slightly waving your hand in front of his face. He looked at you, humming as if asking 'what'. You sighed and looked away, frowning. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" He asked, curious and surprised.
"Because, I made you doubt me. I didn't mean to and-"
"No, that's not it. I just assumed you and I weren't close anymore since I got so busy. It felt weird." He said, absolutely refusing to let you take the blame for this.
Your arms wrapped around his waist and you leaned into his form, eyes meeting his.
"I love you just as much as I did before. I love you so much, you're all I think about. I don't want to break up- I don't ever want to leave you. I swear." You said with a slight smile.
After a moment, Tighnari's smile began to match yours. He gave you a slow nod as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly.
#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#tighnari x reader#genshin cyno x reader#alhaitham x reader#genshin x gender neutral reader#🖊─ pocky’s writings
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