Only thing that had Tonowari hesitating from claiming Spider is Ronal as his mate hates humans, but she'll take one long look at Spider before turning to her husband, "If he is our son, he needs a Metkayina name."

Like Spider will assume this woman hates him like Neytiri does only to be very confused (and a little scared) when Ronal just picks him up like a fucking toddler and walks away with him to her family's Marui pod.

She'll next to nothing as she scrubs off his old blue stripes and paints new ones in Metkayina patterns and in a colour more similar to her skin tone that the Omaticayas.

Tonowari won't say he disapproves of jakes parenting style of the boy, but he will think it, and Ronal knows, oh does she know. He's always checking on the little human, going out of his way to find foods he can safely eat, showing him shows of affection and care she doubts the boy even understands (he does and it's breaking him), and the glares he sends at jake and the family (he gets it, they're hurting, it's not their faults that the sky people did what they did them, but it's not spider either).

honestly, she even starts to look at the boy herself, and he makes her sad, not angry. he tries so hard to be one of them, to be na'vi., he tries so hard to not be like his kin. she see's his desperation to bond with an ikran or ilu, how he swims around the spirit tree focusing as if he can feel the great mother, she sees how he wears the blue paint like a second skin, or how he hides from who he should consider his mother (who she considered his mother till she saw the fear on the boys face whenever she's around), and it makes her feel the need to protect him from the world, just like she wishes to protect her own children.

so when she sees tonowari biting his tongue around her whenever the boy is brought up she agrees, she doesn't even say to what, she knows her mate will know exactly what she means.

"I will not call him spider, not for very long at least, he gets a new name... and new hair, he needs no ties to that past life of pain." is all she says before she goes about her day.

tonowari is more then pleased.

Aabshrn vent post warning for transphobiaaaaa

I love being the only openly out to everyone trans person (that I know of) at my school! I love micro and macro aggressions! I love overhearing people across from me in computer class say

" heard she thinks she has a dick. Shes like, delusional or something!" I Love hearing kids at the table in front of me in shop talk about how im a "quiet kid" (referring to the school shooter stereotype thing) while referring to me as "Spedy Eddy" (that is a real thing they thought was funny.) I love people yelling my government/dead name down the hall at me trying to get my attention just so they can say "see! It is your name! You responded to it" I love it when my English teacher tells me that she is not going to call me Eddy because "that just goes against my morals." I love being constantly asked what genitals I have and what bathroom I use and "do

I really haaaave to use he/him on you?" and "how can you use he/him when you dress like that???" I love being told that if you have a shlong you're a boy and if you have vava you're a girl and that i should repent because god made me a girl and he doesn't make mistakes! I love it when people ask me constantly EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. "DiD yOu NaMe YoUrSeLf AfTeR eDdle MuNsOn?!?1?1?'(that's not against me being trans I think it's just annoying) I love popular kids randomly sitting by me and calling me their friend and talking to me and about me like I'm their

"bestie" for about a week before inevitably dropping me because they no longer get any clout from being friends with the weird shy transgender kid. (I'm not even shy, I just keep to myself when there's no one there worth talking to, which is most of the time at my school.)I love being used as a jester for entertainment by kids who wouldn't care if I lived or died. I love being scared to piss! I love kids using me as a database for transgender information they could easily google, so I have to stop doing my work and paying attention so I can explain how hormones work or else they could possibly never find correct information and could keep on believing transphobic things for the rest of forever. I love being afraid that I could get beat up just for walking down the hallway to class. I love living in fear everyday that Texas could pass a bill saying it's illegal for me to exist! I love living in fear that the current law they have about trans youth could affect me and I could be ripped from my not really expecting of me but still okay i guess family and put in an openly and aggressivly transphobic foster family! My life is great! Everything is great! I'm great! Why wouldn't I be!?

•My thoughts on VAT7K•

-So What's VAT7K?

It's basicly just a Concept idea of a graphic novel for Varian from Tangled, it was rejected by disney.(Now i whouldn't even known about it if Isaac Carlson hasn't done a video about so yey ig)

-The new Characters

•Ulla

•Nuru

•Hugo

•Donella

•Yong

•Cyrus

(now i don't like Hugo's hair + he looks very modern but That's just me, but i will say i do like Nuru's design tho, and Yong is forgettable as heck)

-The storyline

So what i got from this is that Donella and Ulla where reserch partners or something then Donella "killed" Ulla by traping her in a library or whatever and Varian some how finds her and She tried to possess his body and at the end dies anyway///and along the way he meets 3 people from other Kingdoms (even tho there are 7kingdoms) Anyway Hugo was supposed to be like Eugene (even tho i don't think so but i'l get to that later) Like first a thief and then Varian's love interest. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

-My opinion on the story

I don't like Varian's mum. Why? Well mainly because i do not care about her, really nothing in the series Made me care about her, just let her stay dead (or just explain what happend) + i do not think that Varian needs a spin off or novel•(ofc if it actualy makes sense then I'm fine with that)• i mean he got his Happily ever after, and i whould like to see a Cassandra spin off.

-Varigo

Personally i do not like Hugo. The ship is based on stereotypes, "UwU smol bean" and "Alpha Bad boy". It's pretty toxic. And in fanfics Varian is usually potrayed as innocent and Hugo aggressivly flirting with him and calling him "Sweetcheeks"...yeah pretty gross if you ask me. He gives some fans predator vibes. And Hugo Also is apparently "smarter" even tho not backing Up that claim.

-Not canon

I think a lot of fans of this novel forget that it is not canon (yes not even the name "Ulla" is Canon.) If you write a fanfiction even using the name "Ulla" please tag it as #VAT7K because it is an Au. Infact if you ship Varigo you are basicly shipping Varian with an OC. It's The same as Varian and Lashanie. And fans Also spread a lot of misinformation.

-Will VAT7K ever be Canon?

No. No it won't. There was too much spoiled for that. (But i mean if you like it there is still fanfiction)

-My finale thoughts.

Lets just say i am more Mad about the 5 missing episodes from Season 3 then this novel getting rejected. It's much better as just an AU in my opinion.

|Btw if you come after me saying "why don't you block the tag if you don't like it" then yes i have the tag blocked. But i Can still see it cuz of improper taging.|

So what do you think about VAT7K? Like it? Hate it?

sunrise_pjh

order 043, @yogurteume : large honey milk tea with regular tapioca pearls for trsr Jihoon

warnings: mentions of insomnia

barista 🥛's 💌: i don't really explain how Jihoon and y/n met here so you, the reader can decide <3 college besties? work friends ?! neighbours? it's up to you!! also, sunrise by Mino just makes me feel things :") do y'all remember Jihoon imitating Mino's runaway? it kills me every time i think about it >_<

sunrise_MINO.mp3

with the darkness comes thoughts, many thoughts that swirl around your head and leave you tangled within them. you're used to it now, though. always just waiting for it to pass.

with the sunrise, you finally fall asleep. the light drowns out your thoughts, your head too heavy and fuzzy from lack of sleep.

you call yourself a night owl, but really you just have insomnia quite often. or, you did... until you met Jihoon.

after becoming friends, you've been inseparable. every night he calls you until you fall asleep, and every night, you fall asleep a little earlier.

"the sun is rising, y/n. you're still up?" he asked you the first time you called into the night.

"mhm. now it's up, i can sleep," you muttered, dozing off.

Jihoon found your sleeping schedule strange, but didn't say anything. he just listened to your soft, deep breaths through the phone until he had the heart to hang up.

=♡=♡=♡=

"y/n? ... y/n? are you asleep?" Jihoon whispers loudly into his phone. he's met with silence and he checks the time.

3:04am.

he smiles to himself. it's such an improvement from 6:30am, when the sun rises and when you usually feel sleepy. he doesn't want to wake you with his rustling, so he hangs up and decides to tell you tomorrow about how early you fell asleep.

=♡=♡=♡=

"y/n! guess what?" Jihoon yells into the phone.

you jump and hit your arm on the wall while you're changing to leave for the day.

"Jihoon! just say it!!" you almost yell, in pain from hurting yourself.

"you... fell asleep at 3am last night!"

you can hear the smile in his voice and it makes you smile, too.

"i... did?"

"yeah!!"

a moment of silence passes as you try to remember how you fell asleep so early. all you can remember is Jihoon telling you about his day. he'd been to an theme park with his friend, Hyunsuk, and had a hard time deciding what he wanted from the souvenir shop.

"you've been falling asleep way before the sunrise these days, y/n. what's up with that?"

you're my sunrise, Jihoon.

that's your first thought, but you don't dare say it. even jokingly, you don't want to risk your friendship in any way.

"i don't know, Jihoon. maybe your voice is just so boring that it puts me to sleep," you joke, putting a shirt on.

(don't worry, it's always voice calls with Jihoon. he can't see you ♡)

"oh, har har. at least you're sleeping more healthily now!" Jihoon says.

you hum in response.

"got a busy day ahead?" the boy asks you, yawning.

"yeah, but you clearly don't. are you still in bed?" you ask, wishing you were there to aggressivly rustle his hair.

"yeah.. and what about it, loser?! you jealous?"

you can visualize him sticking his tongue out at the phone.

"maerong!" he says.

(maerong - 메롱 - sticking your tongue out, teasing someone)

"you idiot," you say, trying not to laugh.

"i'm your idiot, though," he mumbles.

you go stiff. Jihoon flirts with you a lot, but you never know how to respond. is it a joke? is he for real?

"i won't bother you anymore. go get ready!" Jihoon says.

"nooo... don't hang up yet," you whine.

"how are you not sick of me?" Jihoon asks.

you already know what's coming.

"i'm just that great, aren't i?"

"we're still meeting on friday, right?" you ask, ignoring him and his bloated ego.

"yeah... 'cause you're in love with me," he teases, again.

i am, Jihoon. completely in love.

again, you don't say it.

instead, you continue getting ready while Jihoon brags about himself and you shake your head at him, even though he can't see you.

=♡=♡=♡=

friday comes and with it come the butterflies. seeing Jihoon in person is always exciting!

you try to pick out an outfit that looks good but isn't too tryhard, yet you're stunned when Jihoon shows up in a hoodie and jeans and still looks that good.

he greets you with a hug and the scent of his perfume makes you dizzy. you want to wrap yourself in it..

"well, y/n, shall we?" he asks, inviting you to walk beside him.

Jihoon can't stop smiling when he's with you, his eyes constantly hidden behind his cheeks. you don't even have to say or do anything and you'll have him melting into a pool at your feet. he keeps checking that you're still walking beside him, winking at you every time your eyes meet his like the silly flirt he is.

Jihoon wanted to take you somewhere today and he's kept it a secret. as he walks you there, you whine and pull on his arm to tell you where he's taking you.

"Jihooooon where are we going?!"

"shh y/n you'll see."

eventually, you find yourself away from the city and on a nature trail. you shuffle closer to Jihoon, still holding onto his arm and feeling a little scared surrounded by all the trees, now.

"everything okay?" he asks, smiling at you.

you nod and he pats your head.

eventually, after some time of walking, you hear Jihoon say, "we're here!"

you didn't realize you were looking at the ground this whole time until Jihoon speaks and you look up. you're at a clearing with grass, trees scattered far enough around for there to be room for the picnic blanket on the floor, a basket and a few other things. the clearing is just before a cliff, safely far away from it for you to not feel any fear, but close enough for you to see the pretty mountains below.

"Jihoon.. what is this where are we ?!" you exclaim, running to the picnic blanket.

"Hyunsuk-hyung showed me this place and i've always wanted to bring you here. do you like it?" Jihoon asks.

he seems a little nervous as he shifts from foot to foot, but when you gently touch his arm as you tell him how beautiful it is, he feels a return to calm again.

"i'm so glad you like it.. we can watch the sunset from here together! you know how much the sun means to us... let's sit."

when you get seated and Jihoon opens the basket, letting you have some of the fruits and snacks, you feel some tension in the air. Jihoon doesn't seem like himself.

"Jihoon.. is everything okay today? you seem so anxious," you say.

"yeah i just.. ah i was going to tell you this when the sun was all pretty setting against the sky but.."

you watch Jihoon shift so he's properly facing you and not the mountains. he takes hold of your hands, stroking them with his thumbs. it feels like your heart is also being caressed with the amount of butterflies you feel.

"y/n.. i know we've started as friends and have been friends but i think.. somewhere along the way i started feeling something more for you and i can't keep it to myself anymore. y/n.. i like you," he says.

you can see his cheeks dusted with red and you grin before pressing a quick kiss to the tip of his nose.

"Jihoon... i like you, too. you're.. you're my sunrise. i've been sleeping so well with you in my life," you tell him.

he's reeling from the kiss you gave him and now your words, and he hangs his head as he chuckles, still holding onto your hands.

when he looks up, he brings a hand to your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb while smiling.

"i'll be your sunrise, y/n. and i can promise you that i won't ever set."

Hey I love your page and the fact you write my boys Super Junior ♡ I was wondering if I could get an Eunhyuk fluff where they are secretly dating and the boys walk in on them will doing some live stream or something and accidently reveal it. I dont know why but I like those types of concepts.

HIHI WE ARE SOSOSO SORRY THIS IS LATE! LIKE RIDICULOUSLY!! But we hope you enjoy it and hopefully worth the wait <3

Watch What Happens Live - Lee Eunhyuck

Super Junior was in the practice room getting ready for their comeback, as Donghae, Eunhyuk and Siwon practice the choreography, Yesung walked in with coffee and a coat on. He was late it was nothing out of the ordinary but Eunhyuk let out an exasperated sigh and playfully complained. As he walked over to him going on about how they were supposed to get here on time and coffee isn’t that important Yesung put his coffee down and went after him, which he ran behind you, his girlfriend, it wasn’t much of a hide since you were shorter than him and he's standing at a whopping 174cm he couldn’t hide.

“Your lucky.” Yesung said as he went back to get his coffee.

Eunhyuk turned you around and hugged you, he asked you to help him stretch, confused you agreed, as he stretched out, you sat cross-legged on the ground in front of him he squats and started stretching out his back and shoulders. As he went down lower, he kissed you, again and again.

Around this time the group decided to do an Instagram live, on Siwon’s account, when you got the notification, you turned it on to see them acting up, looking over you didn’t know Eunhyuk bent down to look on your phone.

As Donghae walked up to the camera he waved and introduced himself, as he wiped his face with the bottom of his shirt, his abs were showing and Yesung lifted more to show everyone, he went to lift up Siwon’s shirt when he reacted, causing the phone camera to pan over to Eunhyuk, who at this time was holding her face kissing her. As they didn’t know the camera went back on them, Yesung was laughing fixing his hair, as Siwon said that the fan wants to know who was in the back, as they look around, they noticed Eunhyuk standing up crossing his arms.

He started arguing that they showed the fans everything that was going on behind them, Donghae started laughing as he begs to be freed from him, Yesung took a picture to save the moment, and sent it on his Lysn account.

Eunhyuk was going on in an aggressivly fun way, Leeteuk came in and started calling them to end it, as he and Shindong walked around Eunhyuk was telling them what’s going on, Eunhyuk chased Donghae around the practice room they both ran into Siwon who dropped his phone. As they went on it was said that the camera caught the girlfriend. Siwon picked up his phone and saw that the live was still on and fans was going off about someone in Super Junior has a girlfriend and didn’t say anything, while some was congratulating on who ever was the member. But there was some who was being very rude and disgusting, coming to realize on why Eunhyuk kept this quite blocking the camera he ended the live awkwardly.

Sleeping Together (Part Two) // Undateables

Masterlist | Part One

When / How did you move in ?

The first thing Diavolo said after you two started dating (for real) was an order to Barbatos to go and seek for all of your stuff back in your room in the House of Lamentations and bring them all back to the castle and more specifically in his room, or should he say... your room. 

Not truly knowing what had just happened you asked for Diavolo to slow down a second which earned you a very sad look from him as he fainlty asked : “What’s wrong my love don’t you want to move inside the castle with me?”. 

And how could you ever say no to that adorable face. Of course it’s not like you were ever going to say no since the thought of falling asleep inside your man’s arms was more than pleasing to your mind but still Diavolo has very convincing puppy eyes for the Prince of Hell.

Cuddles and Blanket ? How Do you Fall asleep ?

Diavolo is the cuddle monster. He loves being so close to you that you can barely breathe anymore. There is not a night that passes by where he doesn’t hold you close to him for well-deserved cuddles.

In fact he refuses to sleep with you next to him. You have to sleep on his chest, curled almost completely into a ball, as he holds you tight, one of his arms sneaked under your knees, his hand softly cupping your ass while the other arm is wrapped around your back, his hand carressing your stomach. Position that at first wasn’t really comfortable but you grew used to it. 

There are no blankets on your bed, you’re already so close to one another and Diavolo is naturally warm, not to mention that he loves skin-to-skin contact (if you’re okay with it of course) so it’s no wonder that the blanket is completely thrown off the bed before you even have time to realize it was there in the first place.

Who falls asleep first ? Who wakes up first ?

Diavolo normally falls asleep last as he is often working in his study until very late at night. When he comes back into the room he gently lifts you up from the bed careful as to wake you before slipping in it himself and lay you back on his chest.

You wake up first. Since he started dating you Diavolo has found out that Barbatos let him more time before he comes knocking on the door for breakfast and your boyfriend is definitely using this as an advantage to sleep in a bit more. Poor man gets so tired during the day that he is getting all the sleep he can get in the morning. You normally just lay there on his chest doodling something on his chest with your finger until he finally wakes up.

When / How did you move in ?

You wanted to share a bed with your boyfriend at night, you truly did and while Barbatos was not vocally complaining about it you knew for a fact that he was feeling the same as you. But your situation was complicated. He was the Demon’s Lord butler, one of the closest person to him, he swore loyalty and servitude to Diavolo at any hour of the day or the night so you knew that Barbatos couldn’t possibly leave the Castle and it was not like you, a human, could casually come in and lay down your bags in the hall as if it was your new home. 

Thankfully for you two, Diavolo, who knew about your romantic involvment while not actually taking full notice of your actual problem, asked to the both of you why had you not moved into the Demon’s Lord Castle yet. Turns out that the future King would be more than happy to have someone like you to lighten the place a little. A bed was installed as well as some useful door locks for all of his doors leading to other dimensions were installed the same night. 

Cuddles and blanket ? How do you fall asleep ?

Barbatos was never a really tactile man. With him, in public, it was mostly light touches such as a hand on your lower back or a thumb softly rubbing your cheek or a kiss on the back of your hand or at best a peck on the lips when you truly asked for it but it was never big showcase of affection such as hugs, deep passionate kisses etc.

In private it wasn’t much different. Unless you directly ask for them or he realizes that you’re feeling a bit under the weather, in which case he won’t shy away from that affection that you crave, then he won’t truly cuddle. But he’ll give you his hand before you fall asleep every night just will maybe just stroke your face for a bit. 

During the night Barbatos normally sleeps on his back well tucked inside the covers while you sleep close to him on your side facing him a leg out in the fresh while the other is still tucked in. He might have one of his arm oustretched for you lay your head on or he might just give you his hand as usual so you can hold onto it with yours during the night. Either way you’ll get a way to be close to him.

Who falls asleep first ? Who wakes up first ?

Unless he has an important task for Diavolo that he needs to fulfill making come back late, Barbatos normally falls asleep first. Unlike many he spends his entire days working so it’s no wonder that when he comes to bed he falls asleep first.

Unsurprisingly Barbatos is also the first one to wake up as he has duties he needs to attend to before Diavolo wakes up as well. So you normally wake up alone in bed it might feels lonely like that but you know that Barbatos never fails to leave a kiss on your forehead before he goes and he certainly doesn’t forget about leaving you the usual handwritten note on his pillow that says “Good morning my love”.

When / How did you move in ?

When you first started dating a +1000 years old angel you honestly didn’t expect him to ask you to move into the Purgatory Hall with him immediately. Sure Simeon was way bolder than what you imagined an angel would ever be so it wasn’t that weird to think that he had asked you to move in in his room. But even so you thought that maybe Luke would like to have a word to say in this since he seemed to be less “loose” over what an angel should and shouldn’t do. And an angel sharing a room with his human lover, well to the eyes of an immature “ten” years old angel it would certainly be something an angel shouldn’t ever do.

But surprisingly enough Luke seemed pretty adamant to have you leave the House of Lamentations for good and come to live with them. You suspected that he would much rather have you all alone with Simeon than with a bunch of demons which is why he basically held your bags all the way from one house to another while you walked behind him holding hands with your boyfriend, both silently chuckling as your watched the small angel boy running towards the Purgatory Hall.

Cuddles and Blanket ? How Do you Fall asleep ?

Simeon is the best cuddle provider you’ll ever find. While he could and would normally sleep without them he wouldn’t really mind giving some if you asked for them, plus it was not like he didn’t enjoy some soft cuddles with his lover before falling asleep as well.

You normally fall asleep during the said cuddles, well tucked inside your bed sheets. Him mostly on his back, only slightly turning your way as he hold you in his arms and you snuggling in his side, your hand laying on his stomach soflty carressing his bellybutton with your thumb.

Who falls asleep first ? Who wakes up first ?

Both of your sleeping schedules are pretty synchronized since you’re normally the first one to fall asleep but only by a few minutes or so. It’s normally when he doesn’t feel your thumb rubbing the skin of his stomach that he decides it’s time for him to truly settle on his pillow and fall alseep as well.

In the morning you are normally the first one to wake up as well but only by a few seconds as Simeon’s normally stirrs awake as soon as he senses you gazing at his face. 

When / How did you move in ?

The look on the demon brothers’s faces when Solomon arrived at the House of Lamentations to help you gather your stuff and bring it all back to the Purgatory Hall was absolutely priceless in your boyfriend’s mind. The seven demons looked at you with such disbelief as if they could not even process what was happening. 

I mean sure you never said it outward to them that you and Solomon were dating for a bit of time now. But it wasn’t really strange for you to have thought that they had noticed it by now with all the time Solomon actively spent stealing kisses from you in plain sight. After all Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon and even Luke who were all considerably less close to you than the brothers had it figured out a few days before you actually started going out. But to be true the brothers always seemed kind of oblivious about anything that might connect you to romance without including them in it. Something that Solomon had noticed and had no shame playing around with. 

The brothers tried to stop you from going with the one more than half of them deemed to be nothing but shady. They truly did. Lucifer tried to use his "scary” voice. Levi and Mammon were clinging onto your legs. Asmodeus was trying to smuggle his way into that love affair you had going on. Satan and Belphegor considered murder and Beelzebub just stood there saying he won’t allow it. It all failed. Of course. And you and Solomon were still laughing about it in bed that night.

Cuddles and Blanket ? How Do you Fall asleep ?

Funnily enough Solomon is quite the cuddler. Sure most of the time the two of you are cuddling it ends up with his hand aggressivly tickling your sides until you start crying but still he does like to give you some cuddles in bed.

Finding position to sleep was a bit complicated at first since Solomon likes to work a bit at night and often gets up in the middle of it. So you two had to find a way for him to get up and slip back into bed with really waking you up. Which is why you found peace with the very comfortable yet unoriginal “spooning”. You sleep your back to the door while Solomon sunnugles you from behind until you fall asleep. When he comes back into bed he goes back to where he was earlier that night, passing his arms around your waist waking you up just enough for you to notice he’s here before immediately falling back to sleep.

You’re both blankets hoggers, the difference being you don’t notice when you do it whereas Solomon is totally aware. Sometimes he just decides to steal the blanket just enough for you to stirr awake before faking to sleep. 

So much for trying not to wake you up.

Who falls asleep first ? Who wakes up first ?

Solomon always has a million things to do and he find himself more productive at nightime so it isn’t unusual for him to just get up from bed after you have fallen asleep making sure that he doesn’t wake you up while doing so to work for a few hours. 

Even though he normally falls asleep really late Solomon always seem to wake up a bit before you do. Which leaves him all the time in the world to tease and tickle you awake. You normally open your eyes soon after and before you even have time to realize what is happening to you, Solomon’s lips are on and off your nose for a good morning kiss and he’s off to start his day leaving you in bed to fully wake up.

Lol my blood sugar is low so I'm just gonna say this: imagine Ranboo being scared and teleporting onto someone. Like if someone's standing next to them. Lanky boi scream and then teleport and cling to their head. like a cat or smth, Anyways get some fucking food and water or someting love you

You have aggressivly reminded me i havent are today i will go eat and bask in the glory that is catboo

OK so one day the team is having game night picture every pillow and couch cushion and blanket in the floor and them on top of it aggressivly playing monopoly. Nicky and Joe team up obviously so andy and Nile complain for a while until they decide to team up to destroy the boys there's a laughing and competitive game playing just having a really good time popcorn candy and snacks...... and then the phone rings

Without their knowledge Booker has been captured by kozac (they only knocked out the doctor) for the last year and a half he tries to get himself out but each time he fails. Evsnthally he kills a gaurd but there are no keys, he's in the same spot but with a dead body and probably a minute till more gaurds come. But he just CANT be here any longer So he takes the phone off the dead body and calls his family hoping against hope that they pickup and will listen, knowing he betrayed them only ten years ago and he's still in exile, they probably hate him. It goes something like this

"how did you get this number??"

"PLEASE DONT HANG UP IM BEGGING YOU"

"Booker??"

"please I know you hate me but please listen I'm begging you"

"you have three minutes"

"OK I know you hate me and for good reason, I hate myself too. I wouldn't ask if i werent desparate, I'm so so sorry to call and I hope that you won't extend my sentence but I understand if you do just please for the love of god help me-"

"book! Get to the point"

"right, I'm so sorry to bother you, and to bring up painful memories but kozac, she kidnapped me....... I'm not sure how long but she took me (month and year that's a year and a half before present) I know I'm useless and should be able to get out on my own but I've been trying to for so long and the farthest I've gotten is getting a phone. I understand if you think it's fitting to leave me here but please---" the phone clatters to the ground and they here Booker screaming, thumps like someone hitting/kicking someone, and insults/curses being screamed at Booker.

The team look at each other in shock for five seconds before scrambling off the nest they made and into battle outfits, grabbing weapons and such. Then Joe pauses and asks what if it's a trap what is this is the second try to get us experiments done by kozac and even if it isn't isn't this what he wanted????

Andy hits him on the back of the head "we'll be careful, but no man left behind"

-A

I don’t have the mental capacity to word a proper response to this but YES!

Hyung Line! Reaction to you being their Soulmate

Note: The Maknae Line Reaction is already up on my page!

Requests are open!

Kim Seokjin

You had a timer on your wrist and at the young age of 12 those numbers seemed to go on forever

Even when you became older it still felt like you would only meet him when you're 56

While you didn't like it, other people were jealous of you knowing when exactly you would see your s/o

,,You don't get it. I wish I could have the whole surprise moment..."

It was also kind of sad going out and knowing that nothing would happen while all of your friends were excited of it maybe 'finally being the day'

Over the years you started to pay less and less attention to the numbers counting down

If you were also good at math you could have realised that one faithful morning you were hours away from meeting your soulmate

But of course you didn't

After not finding any milk and or cereal, you knew you had to go grocery shopping

You were grumpy af, because you didn't get to eat any breakfast

Oh well

Just as you were rounding another aisle, you crashed against something or rather someone hard

You were ready to feel the impact of your fall, but it never came

Mr.worldwidehandsome reacted with precise skills and caught you

His eyes met yours and for a few seconds the world seemed to stand still...-until both of you realised how akward the position you were in was

,,Thank you for uhm...saving me. I will try to pay attention the next time." You hung your head in shame. The blinking of zeroes brought you out of your embarassment though.

,,Yes you really should...but I'm glad that both of us didn't pay attention today" the handsome man showed you his wrist, that displayed the same number of zeroes on his skin.

,,I'm Kim Seokjin."

Kim Namjoon

The first time you noticed your soulmate connection was when you woke up with blonde/brown/black hair (whatever you don't have now)

It was shocking but you honestly didn't mind, because it didn't look bad

You were also happy to know that your soulmate existed

But that happiness ceased very quickly when you realised that the chance of actually finding that person was pretty low

Like, there are a ton of people with that hair color?!

Well anyway

One fateful day your stupid boss just fired you without a chance to explain yourself...Like, you didn't mean to set the kitchen on fire, okay?

You obviously had to go and find a new job after that

Lucky for you, it only took you 30 min of searching through the internet, to find a open spot as a make up artist at a company called Bighit

Not thinking too much about it you sent your application and one day later you had an interview

It went really good

They called you 2 hours later and told you that you got the job

Of course you did your personal happy-dance that looked more like a bird trying to fly for the first time than an actual dance whoops

At least your neighbours didn't see you

Yeah uhmmm

One week later you had your first day at work

You were nevous as fuck and everyone could see it

But they understood what you were going through so it was fine

Your new chef introduced you to Kim Namjoon, a very attractive idol that you would take care of...make up wise ofc.

Thinking about being close to him made you even more nervous and when it was time to do his make up you were shaking

Namjoon didn't even blink an eye at that. He was completely calm and just told you to breath in and out slowly

On the inside he was freaking out about how beautiful you were though

About two months later you and Namjoon were a great team and even the other members started shipping you (*cue Joonie being a blushing mess*)

Since Bighit was pretty chill about their employees having special hair colours or tatoos, you decided that you needed a change

The fact that your soulmate also shared that connection with you may have affected your choice just a liiiittle bit

You were also tired of being single so you picked a colour that would be easy to recognize and let's just say...Namjoon was not too excited about waking up with purple hair...

But at least you both instantly knew that you were soulmates, sooo yay?

+ his grumpy additude disappeared the second he saw the smile on your face. Even the teasing of his best friends couldn't tear his new mood down.

Jung Hoseok

You were a fan of BTS for about 4 months

But somehow you managed to read almost every single fanfic about Hoseok in that time

Your favorite is the one where you have that special moment during a concert

Like: your eyes met, the lights dimmed..the crowd around you got silent and all that other shit

Just basic soulmate stuff that you would never ever experience...

Hah. Joke's on you.

Okay time skip for another two months

BTS announced a Tour in your city and of course you were freaking out

Thank god you tried to save some money for a vacation...that could wait anyway.

After aggressivly typing and scrolling on your computer you actually managed to get a ticket

You may have screamed a little bit too loud but whatever, right?

The only sad thing was that you would have to go alone

Brushing that thought away, you started to think about what you would wear and need

When the day of the concert came you were r e a d y.

So ready that your dumbass somehow made it through the line and got a place in the front row

Congrats to you

You didn't realise how close you were to the stage until the boys actually stood there

Like holy shit wow omg what

The first 30 min were a mixture of happiness, crying and (let's be honest) a little bit sexual frustration

Fucking Jung Hoseok and his black clothes. Ugh.

When 'so what' came on though...Hobi stopped right infront of your corner

Obviously everyone started screaming and calling his name

But you were too lost in the moment to actually react

Maybe that's why he noticed you...

Wait what?

The crowd around you seemed to fade, the music was barely recognizable and his eyes held a unspoken story in them that you would like to explore...

At least that's what you tell everyone when they ask you about the moment you met your soulmate

But deep inside you know that no words in the world could ever describe the way you felt when his eyes met yours...because it was almost magical (at least that's what Hoseok always said)

Well anyway

After getting out of whatever trance you were stuck in, Hobi talked to the security guards

They managed to get you out of the crowd (where at least 30 girls were watching you with a jealous death stare) and get you backstage

That's where you met your sunshine loving boyfriend for the first time

Min Yoongi

You were a music producer masking your identity under the name 'saltea' (lmao you know I had to)

At first your music barely got any recognition

20 views were the maximum for you and even though it may seem like a small number to some people, you were so proud

,,Mom! It just got 23 views! That's almost a whole class!"

Big uwu energy

You obviously continued to follow your dream, even when some of your 'friends' told you that nobody would really care about your music

Well screw them because your new music video got 50 views hah!

It went on like that for another 3 years until you were 21 years old

You somehow got the offer to collab with Selena Gomez after a particular song you posted

That was when your career did a whole 360 and went 📈

People started to follow you, like your music and ask to work together (Guys I'm so sorry but tumblr says I reached a limit??!?🤡 so you'll have to deal with pics now UGHHHH WTF SEND HELP :(

first dph trip

trip report.

I've been looking into dph for a while now and finally decided to give it a shot last night. Keep in mind that I am just under 100lbs (approx 96lbs) and do not have any prior experience with any other hallucinogen/deliriant. Spoiler alert: I fucking loved the trip and will definitely try it again soon at a higher dose. This trip is a memory that I will cherish and hold onto for the rest of my life and I am so glad I did it. I want to go back to that world.

Ok, now for the actual trip:

26/9/19

3:30pm - Initial dose: 150mg

I decided to start off with a low dose because of my weight and then increase as the day went on. I didn't feel different until after about an hour and a half, which is when I started to feel kind of drunk and dizzy (pretty sure it took that long because I had just eaten a lot of food). It took some effort to walk completely straight and I was getting really drowsy. I started seeing little movements in the corners of my eyes and faint shadows that weren't there.

When I would stare at the wall it started shifting and moving around; it looked almost like it was breathing. After a few seconds of staring, I started seeing little creatures in the wall (they kind of blended into the wall but were definitely discernable). At first, I saw a tiny dancing skeleton (it was dancing very aggressivly, like flailing its arms quickly), and then I saw a bull trying to ram itself into the wall repeatedly; it looked angry and like it wanted to attack me. I came to the conclusion that I was looking into an alternate dimension (the wall dimension) and that the creatures I was seeing were trying to escape it and get through the wall.

After this I decided to take a walk to try and get less tired. It was pretty uneventful. All I saw were little shadows on the ground and I kept seeing a fluorescent blue dot (like an orb) flying around in front of me. At some point during the walk I started seeing floaters VERY visibly everywhere I looked, and I could control where they moved with my eyes. I moved a floater next to me and pretended that it was my ghost friend and that we were taking a walk together.

(Floaters):

After this I went back home and just chilled out. I saw a few rainbows which was pretty cool but I was just really drowsy and I was starting to get a little bored/disappointed at my trip.

Forgot to mention that throughout this whole thing I felt butterflies in my stomach and very nervous, but I'm really used to paranoia and just ignored it.

7:00pm - Added 100mg (total dose - 250mg)

I took an extra 100mg and waited for about an hour and a half. While I was waiting for this dose to kick in I took my dog on a walk. At some point during the walk I looked at the sky and saw a bat flying around and then disappearing. I saw this around 3 times and everytime I would try to follow it but it would just disappear into the mist. I'm not sure if this was a hallucination or not but I could see the "bat" outline very clearly and proportionately if it was real it would have been a huge bat, so I'm pretty certain it wasn't real. Otherwise, the walk was pretty boring.

When I got home I decided to try and eat dinner. My parents had bought sushi. I tried eating it but my appetite was completely gone and I had to go outside to spit it out. Swallowing felt very weird since it felt like my mouth was completely numb.

10:00pm(ish??) (at this point I really wasn't paying attention to the time)

Now I just felt really drowsy and like the force of gravity was ten times stronger, very similar to being on xanax. I didn't really feel anything kicking in so I decided to go outside and listen to music. While I was outside I took two hits off a wax pen and got very high (felt like being cross-faded, I usually dont get that faded off two hits). I felt like it had gone away in a few minutes however and I started to feel very clearheaded/lightheaded. This is when the visual and audio hallucinations REALLY started kicking in. The first thing I saw was a lamp shift into a little person, but it turned back into a lamp when I blinked (I was still outside at this point). Then, on a wall, I saw hatman. I had been reading about hatman earlier so I think my mind was predisposed to the idea of seeing him. His face was completely black, as was his hat, and I wasn't really scared (moreso interested) because I kept telling myself in my head that it was just a hallucination.

I started walking around my backyard and slowly things began appearing. It got to a point where I just saw random people laying down/sitting on the ground just chilling. The first actual entity I saw was a skeleton. It was sticking out of the ground and only its upper body was visible. It was moving its arms around really fast like it was trying to dance. It kind of spooked me but I thought it was cool. After this I approached a plant and saw a plant creature. This actually terrified me. I walked toward it and it slowly turned its head to look at me, to which I responded by turning around and noping the fuck out. After that I just kept telling myself "It's just a hallucination it's just a hallucination" over and over again in my head which really calmed me down. Even if I was kind of scared (and the paranoia started up again) I was honestly having a good time because I thought the hallucinations were really cool.

I saw a little girl and I got a strange feeling that she might be a demon. It reminded me of the little demon boy from The Conjuring that was just happily running around the house. She was sitting down and I tried talking to her. She turned her head toward me then disappeared.

After this I kept walking around and in between two plants I saw hatman again. I only saw his head, which was now a skull, and his hat was still all black. The more I stared at him the more real he looked. At first I just saw his head floating but after a few minutes his whole body had manifested in front of me and it looked so real, like an actual being was just standing in front of me. He was wearing a really big jacket and black pants. He was very tall. I asked him questions like "Why are you here" and we began having a conversation. When I turned around and looked back at him his head was now that of a human boy (not a skeleton), so I just said "Oh, so you're a shapeshifter then," and he began explaining that he was from another dimension and had many forms. I said "so this is your human form," to which he just shook his head no. We talked for a little longer and he actually turned out to be a really nice guy. I hope I see him again the next time I trip.

I went over to the plant creature I saw earlier (I'll just call her plant girl) and decided to try and talk to her. She didn't really respond but looked really sad, so I asked her if she was being held captive (I don't know why). I don't remember her response but I remember seeing a tiny pitch black wolf with glowy red eyes right behind her and looking very angry with me, so I assumed she was being kept by him. I walked off.

Throughout this whole time I had been seeing a large fluffy duck walking around my backyard, but when I tried getting close to it it disappeared, and eventually it turned into a young boy laying in the grass (who eerily looked like me). I went back to see hatman and he was still there, so I had another short conversation with him but I don't recall what we said.

Then I saw a pitch black figure with a black hat (it wasn't hatman though) and this is the only hallucination I actually got scared of and thought was evil. It was just standing there looking at me and was very unsettling, even if I knew it was just a hallucination.

I saw a few more things, like when I looked over the fence into my neighbor's backyard, I saw a white man in a white suit and white hat (and white hair) looking at me and then slowly walk into their house. I just remember flipping him off. I knew it wasn't anyone that lived there because the people living in that house are an Indian couple. At some point I was near the back door to my house, and when I looked at it I saw 3 fingers reaching in from the other side of the door, but they suddenly pulled away and I didn't see them again.

Oh yeah, I also saw a bunch of insects. Mostly what looked like mosquitos or flies or just little dots flying around, but no spiders.

12:00am(ish)

After a while the visions kind of subsided, so I decided to go back inside. When I got to my room I got into bed and watched The Office for a little while before trying to sleep. I heard a few voices calling out and my mom saying my name but nothing too extreme. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep at around 1am.

Thou shalt not kill

The night sky hung over Corona, with stars glistening like a million diamonds. It had to have been towards the end of the night maybe early morning.  Corona’s finest soldiers had just returned from battle and many were still recuperating themselves within the barracks. Many were injured and some did not return from battle, unfortunately. The Medics worked tirelessly on the wounded.  every once in a while a soldier would groan or let out a shriek of pain. For Pete the guard it was nothing new.  He'd become used to this routine after a battle.  The shrieks of pain that had once disturbed him when he was merely a private no longer bothered him.  The soldier was now well on in his years but had the heart of an ox, and the body of a bull despite him looking quite tall and lanky. Taking off his brass helmet Pete set it down on the bench next to him. His armor clinked and shifted as he took a rag and began to clean the smears of blood and filth off of him. Blood used to bother him quite badly when he was first joining the ranks but once again years of having to deal with it seemed to have dulled his senses. The iron metallic smell no longer bothered him or made him nauseous. In fact, he hardly ever noticed it anymore.  Once he was sure that his armor was clean he unsheathed his sword from its hold on his waist. With a sigh, he numbly stared at it. Brownish red covered the cold steel of the blade. The blood had significantly dried from the time it was in battle.  Pete took a deep breath and wet his cloth before running it over his sword, Cleaning off the crusty splatters. The once white cloth began to turn a sickening brown, And once the sword was clean he put the cloth back into the bucket of water. Placing his sword back in its hold Pete leaned his head back against the wall. Just as the same with any other battle, many thoughts began to run through his head and none of them were pleasant. With a grunt, the older man raised himself upon his boots and made his way over to the drinking pail. His feet clicked against the cobblestone floor and the sound was almost comforting in a way.  after you'd been in battle for as long as he had it reminded you that you were home and alive. Taking the metal Ladle from the water pail, Pete raised it to his lips and began to gulp down the cool refreshing liquid. The water was cold and eased his hoarse and burning throat. Once he had his fill he dropped the ladle back into the pail letting it clang harshly against the sides. Suddenly and without warning a loud crash was heard as well as several disgusting retching sounds. It came from around the corner and several soldiers began to move away from that area.  Pete then began to notice something. Where on earth was his Apprentice?  In all of the chaos of battle, he had forgotten that this was Isaiah's first.  Worry began to seep into his heart while he looked for the young man. Pete then turned the corner where the retching sounds had come from and sure enough there he was.  Isaiah had fallen on all fours and his stomach lurched more bile onto the ground. His sweat made his blondish brown hair stick to his flushed face. With a sigh Pete walked over and bent down, proceeding to rub the young man's back. “ well, better out than in I suppose.”  he said in an effort to comfort him. Isaiah did not respond.  he only panted and shivered, trying to keep himself from passing out.  Next to him was his sword completely drenched in blood or rather dried blood.  The thought then hit Pete like a ton of bricks.  has Isaiah ever killed anyone before? And if not...how many did he kill tonight!? Pete was broken from his thoughts as Isaiah arched his back while another gag tour through him. The older man's expression softened significantly feeling nothing but pity for the young Soldier.  He remembered how hard it was for him when he first took a life. Isaiah coughed and sputtered and then began to sit back on his legs. “I-I’m...Sorry..sir…” He choked out between coughs. “Hey don't worry about it pal... the first one is always the worst.” he soothed cracking a smile.  Isaiah tried to make his way to his feet shivering all the while. Pete attempted to help him but Isaiah aggressivly yanked his arm away and stared shell shocked at his mentor. “I...I need some air..”  with that Isaiah turned on his heels and began to hastily make his way to the exit.  Pete frowned knowing all too well what his young pupil was going through. “U-um could we get someone over here to clean this up?  I'll be back.”  he called out through the barracks before turning to leave as well.  His pace was quick as he tried to keep up with Isaiah.  his shoes loudly clacking against the cobblestone floor. “ Isaiah?” he called out as he made his way through the corridor.  As he walked over to the heavy wooden door he took in a deep breath preparing for the inevitable emotional rollercoaster that was about to take place.  the door creaked as he pushed it open and immediately the cool night air was the first thing to greet him. “ Isaiah? are you okay?”  what a stupid question.  Isaiah stood on the balcony looking out at the Kingdom. His hair swished about in an almost rhythmic fashion and his folded over arms rested comfortably on the ledge. “I’m... I'm fine..”  he responded his voice cracking a bit.  Pete only sighed and walked over to his apprentice. There was an awkward silence for a minute or two until Pete broke the tension by clearing his throat. “ it's a lovely night out tonight... clear skies, not too cold, not too hot.  Perfection really.”  he said trying to bring up a subject to talk about. “Yep.”  Isaiah responded. “so... you want to tell me what that was all about?”  Pete said trying to get directly to the point. “What was all of what?”  the annoyance in Isaiah's voice barely there but still noticeable. “don't try and hide it, boy.  I've been a soldier for a long time and I've seen many things. Tell me what's wrong.”  his voice was stern yet comforting.  Isaiah began to shiver again slightly and he silently prayed that his mentor had not noticed.  he clenched his fists, the black leather of his combat gloves squeaking ever-so-slightly. “Isaiah…” Pete said again a little more sternly this time. Isaiah bit his quivering lip it looked away trying not to look weak in front of his mentor.  placing his gloved hand upon his apprentice’s shoulder Pete attempted to make Isaiah look him in the eye. “ Isaiah…. look at me…”  doing as he was told Isaiah turned around and looked up at his mentor with tear-filled eyes.  he tried to blink away the tears but it was obvious they were still there.  Pete's face was filled with an understanding look as he gazed into Isaiah’s eyes.  that look was all the confirmation that Isaiah needed.  Within a split second, Isaiah broke. The blonde soldier hung his head and his shoulders began to heave. He rested his head on his mentor’s chest and his shivering became more intense. To Isaiah's surprise, Pete wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer as he cried.  This action alone only made him cry more. With his sobs now audible he began to hiccup and grip onto his mentor as if for dear life. “Se-Ser Pete...I...I saw..Saw the life...drain from their eyes.” he sobbed out.  Pete remained silent letting Isaiah continue. “I...I was taught my w-whole life...that ki..lling..was wr-wrong...and I just...killed so many good men...w-who probably had families!” Pete felt his heart tense at the pain in his voice “Isaiah you weren't the only one doing The Killing they were going to kill you if you had not killed them.  a battle is a life-or-death situation you can't afford to think of their families or what they're leaving behind! you need to see them as the enemy and nothing more. I know it sounds cruel but that's how it has to be.”  Pete said trying to comfort him as best as possible. “ yes killing is wrong.  I wish there was a better way to solve Kingdom issues but sometimes war is the only option.” Isaiah let out a muffled sob into his mentor’s chest. “I've committed one of the worst acts today... I killed a man... Multiple Men... their blood is on my hands. How can I say I'm a good and just man when the blood of so many is on my hands!?”  he cried out. Pete suddenly got a very stern look and cupped Isaiah's chin forcing him to look up. “ I'll not be hearing any of that.  you are a good man Isaiah.  the fact that you're crying for these men and for their families proves that.  you would never kill anyone in cold blood you had a reason. you were fighting for your country! for your family!  I understand that killing is wrong but sometimes it's our only option.  it's unfortunate and it's sad.  I truly wish the world was different for you so that you wouldn't be forced to do this.  but you took an oath and you knew what you were getting into.  I wish I could tell you it gets easier but it never does.  I'm not going to stand here and sugarcoat it for you. it never gets any easier.” Isaiah looked up at his mentor with shocked tear-filled eyes. Pete's face softened. “ those men knew what they were getting into as well. death is always a possibility when a soldier.  Those men died honourably. just as our men died honorably tonight. There is no glory in killing.  killing is a grave sin no matter what angle you look at it from. but as I said before sometimes it's our only choice.” Isaiah looked down at the ground.  Pete thought for a moment trying to figure out something to say. getting an idea he flashed a sad smile at his apprentice. “ hey…”  Isaiah looked up. “ if there's one thing I know for sure you are fine Soldier and you're a good man. I couldn't have asked for a better Apprentice.”  Isaiah’s face beamed with a quivering lip he pulled his mentor into a tight hug.  Pete was surprised at first not used to such shows of affection by the other soldiers. However, Pete had to admit even if he was in his older years he was still a softie at heart and returned the hug gratefully.  “By the way…” Pete started. “ I happen to see on the battlefield that a few soldiers were caught in a sticky purple substance... that wouldn't have been you're doing right?”  he asked with a smirk.  Isaiah smirked right back at him. “ you tell no one…”  he chuckled.  Pete shook his head and snickered. “ come on let's go get some stew before the rest of the recruits eat all of it.”  he said beginning to walk back towards the door. “ yeah okay...and Ser Pete?” “hmm?” “Thanks…”

Ketchup Saga

@warrioroflondonbelow

“This looks like the island from Jurassic Park” *off tune singing the theme song* “mmmm fuck yes” *when Cillian has his Irish accent* “This woman looks like a Kate” “I don’t care if he’s a murderer, He’s a nine man!” “That is a serial killer house if I ever saw one. The Sin Shack” *Aggressivly chef’s kissing* “That is a sad jumper” “When he’s running he has raptor hands” *Sings the Goosebumps theme* “He’s so cute he just wants his Fucking biscuits!” “Just Cillian Murphy’s raptor hands* “He’s wearing the sad jumper. Whats wrong boy?” “He’s wearing a jumper and his arms are showing. Oh my goodness.” “Why is he sorry?!” “It’s my first and my second husband meeting” *ees Jamie Bell *snorts at my your mum jokes* “My first husband has a gyn” *both rambling *right into microphone* “hELLO?!” “When you see the booty!” *as Jamie falls over* “My first husband was an idiot as you can see” “Can we keep Cillian even if he has Rabies?” “he’s flexing the Gore-Tex” “Where is he going? is that an inflatable pool? Does he want to swim?” *Chris is turned on by her first husband choking her second husband* “They brought boardgames how nice.” “Hey Jamie can you please wipe off your blood off your face.” “Why are there candles? Who needs that many candles.” *mocking me* “Is this a small town in Australia? Cause Yeeaaaaas!” “This is his Hobby, boarding up windows.” *Chris thorsts over jumpers* “This sounds like Corona. I’m telling you.” “He can help with the hello kitty inflatable pool” “That’s how the movie ends, axe to the face.” “My husband thows axes. Now you know why I had to divorce him, he was too much.” “This is the sin shack.” *both goes “whaaaaar? Noooooo” from The Happening.” “He’s a sweet puppy boy, who will probably die but we still love him.” “What the fuck why did he give him the gun.” “Our mums would band together. Mine with the slipper and yours would yell.” “Oh I forgot how good his arms are” *Jamies arm* “Let me see my sweet boy” “AWWWW!” “Whar are those tattoos?!” “Its fake,  *both shout HE STOLE HIS SHIRT AT THE SAME TIME!” “I thought he was gonna shoot the carrots like  POW POW!” *Both shout OH NOOOOO when Cillian cries* *Chris laughs at my childhood trauma* “Hes rude, no manners, misogynistic. We don’t like this.” “Don’t put your gun in your pussy pocket.” “THEY ARE GOING TO FUQ!” *Both quoting The Shining* *Rambling while I scream* “FUCK NOOOOO!” “Fuck you Jamie! And your fucking elf ears” “Is he a doomdays prepper” *Both shouting Spahettiiiiiiii* *singing a Spanish Christmas song* “He’s dead on a fucking rock” *sings* “LOOK AT THOSE ARMS. AH! FUCK!” *both singing Feliz Navidad really loudly* *both screaming* *Chris laughing at my singing* *microphone cracks and her voice becomes demonic* “Those asthma sounds is me when I see him” “The turns and tabled” “Why don’t he just shoot him?” “THEA WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!” “I wanna see him die” “EW IT’S BITS!”  “It’s still gross” “Oh the carrot is dead.” “It’s the ketchup saga!” “he’s a strong boy he's gonna live” *denies me when I say he’s gonna die” “Oh there he is. oh fuck! oh fuck! no!” *Both screaming NO! NO! AS HE DIES* “Oh no! it’s flying everywhere! NO NO NO NO NO NO!” *Chris is confused while I scream put him out of his misery” “Come on shoot him, shoot my first husband. Nasty elf boy” “Here. Listen to my soundcloud.” *mumbles into the microphone*  "Dobby was surrounded by friends.” *sees Cillian’s body in a wheelbarrow* “Me being taken home after too much to drink* “Oh great! That was sad” “Imagine being Cillian in a wheelbarrow just pretending to be dead” “Told you he was a good boy!”

Cashew was the cutest this morning. he came and gave me little nose kisses and aggressivly nudged his face into mine and was purring so loud. i love my baby boy

picture this, lightings new aryan toy aggressivly rips off his new paint job. yaaaaaaaaaaaaas she screams. oooooooooooooooo hiooooooooiooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oh you minxy devil car. r. my thirst for blood oil extendst to vensuela love as he playfully whips her. girls too, or something, the hastag, you know. too. oh. go see a star war sweetheart me and the boys have some distraction politics to do about wether or not the existence of this face is real in cannon or irl or concept and if blue is really the new black or im just white, oh politics ok oreo sleeves alright yea,.. ok

Anonymous ask: do you have any pets? What are their names? Why do you keep them? What got you into keeping them? Do you have any future pet plans? 💖💖

Ok anon do u really wanna get into this convo? Itll take a while.

Okay so im at college so rn the only pets with me are my fishb a male halfmoon plakat named Cosmos Florence the second, a nerite snail named Nertb and a black mystery named Onyx. I keep them because god man i just. I just love em so much ya know? Its like. I have this little ball of hate and rage in my dorm who has such a beautiful personality and then to complement that i have these chill snaild who r just trying really hard. Back home we have even more pets and oh man oh man i love them?? They are what love and joy looks like?? We have my dogs, cat, turtle, lizards, birds, hairless guinea pigs, fish, and chickens.

The chickens are named Short Bread and Oreo bevause of how they looked when they were younger. Oreo is a little spunkyer that Short bread while i think short bread is a little…. Confused? Yeah just generally confused by everything.

We have Mr. T, our full grown, healthy red ear slider who lives in a small pond in the back yard with a few feeder fish he never ate. Those fish have grown to be his pals and he just. Hase never eaten them.

Then we have the birds, Able, who likes to tell at you if u look at her to long. Her hobbys are chewing through toys as she is hanging from them and being suprised when she falls. We then have Birbank, named after the airport my dad found him at, who lives very closely with his bf Ruby. Birbank is a grey and white cockatiel and Ruby is a green Indian Ringneck. They had being more than 2 feet apart for longer than 2 seconds and often u will find Ruby yelling when Birbank flys somewhere he cant go (ruby doesnt know how to fly) and birbank screaming when he realises the mistake he made. Ruby likes to give people kisses and is a lover, not a fighter. Birbank likes to hiss at peanuts and ignore everything besides Ruby. Next we have our Canary, Mango whos fav food is blue berrys and kale. He likes to sing when he hears trumpets and my flute. He has a club foot so when we adopted him the bird rescue we got him from was relived because no one else would take him. He is the most graceful flying bird i have ever seen! Finally we have the zebra finch named Shimmy. When we first adopted him he had a super bad plucking problem and was almost completly bald but hes doing much better now, aggressivly peeping when he hears the canary.

Okay now we have 2 lizards, a leopard gecko named Romeo and a crested gecko named Gargoyle. Romeo is a sweet boi with a chubby tail who loves his crickets fast and his meal worms slow. He has one of those reptile hammocks but he prefers climding his cave more. Gargoyle is a sweet girl who will only eat her food when it starts to harden again for some reason. We dont know why but she does and shes kinda a butt. But ya gotta love her!

Our cat’s name is Figaro and she’s currently bald. She had to get shaved, the vet said shes getting up in her years so when she stopped grooming for a month and got matts in her long fur they said she had basicly cat arthritis. Shes doing good and her hobbies are (well atleast when i was home) meowing in my mouth at 3 am to tell me she ate all her food and wanted more.

Wr have 5 dogs so just get ready for that. All our dogs but 1 is a rescue. Coal is a chow/black lab mix. She was adopted as a pup from a local animal rescue and she kniws the mist tricks. Shes a good girl who likes hugs, treats, and when u massage her face. Her favorite toy is a yellow stick that she will bring to you when asked. Shes the second youngest! Lily is the youngest, i sometiems call her satan but only because she is a trickster! You will turn around and shell be on the table eating food, stealing anything from coal, and trying to think up world domination. She and Coal are super close, when we got her Coal went all MaMa dog and now they are inseparable. What makes it better is that Lily is a half Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix so shes tiny next to Coal. Our third youngest is Scarlet, wr think shes the product of a long hair Chihuahua and a deer head Chihuahua. Shes a primadonna who enjoys her alone time and pets. She also like to be held, mainly like a baby so u can hold her and tub her tum. She also REALLY LIKES CAR RIDES like man even going to the vet shes jazzed. Second oldest is Vinnie, a pug my bro ham adopted. Hes super sweet and good he likes face squishes and whrn he naps his tail uncurles. He stands very proper like hes a gentleman and likes to sit on ur feat. He has a grain allergy so he eats special grain free food. Next we have the oldest of our dogs MY SWEET BABY GIRL GIGI. shes my sun and moon. We got gigi when i was 8 and when i was 10 my sister went to college, leaving her for me to takr care of. And well, shes literally the most important thing in the world to me. My sister got her from a breader (which i dont like cus dogs in shelters need homes) but shes a Brussels Griffon so the breader croped her ears and tail. I DO NOT CONDONE THE PRACTICE OF CROPPING AND PART OF A DOG UNLESS SUGGESTED BY A VET, SOME DOGS GET THEIR TAILS CROPPED BECAUS ETHEY BREAK BONES IN THEM AND THAT IS THE ONLY CROPPING I CONDONE. Her ears were cropped lopsidedb and improperly which brought many problems to her later on. She developed many ear infections that have caused her to scratch her ears until they bleed, has had medication for 3 different ear infections, and has almost no ear canal left. Her vet has told us she is almost deef. Also as she got older she got chronic dry eye and takes medicated eye drops for it but shes fine as long as she has those. She needs loud or sharp sounds to get her attention so i trained her to respond to clapping, whistling (which i do very loudly) and snapping fingers. She is a sweet heartb adn a super velcro dog! I cried for three days after i had to go to college and they drive her up to visit me. When im home she goes looking for me if im out of site for 2 minutes, will wait at the bathroom door for me, stare up the stairs when i go to shower, and press her face against closed doors she knows i went through. Whne she does the last thing i have to drum my fingers on the door so she knows to move back before i open it. I miss her horribly and i skype her almost every day, she gets super excited! The first few days i was gone she actually wouldnt stop barking at night. Shes also a cuddle baby and she doesnt sleep unless she is touching me ao it was probably rough for her. I miss her but ill be able to see her in october when i go to my sisters wedding.

The fish! Okay so my mother has a 75 gallon gold fish aquarium and a 30 gallon in the garage with nithing in it yet (shes thinking tetras). The gold fish tank has 2 butter fly tails and some bristle nose plecos. It also has many a snail rn! A friend of ours dismantled a large aquarium of his own ( he is going through a very hard time financially and im hoping everything works out for him) and gave us the plecos and snails. The snails are 3 rabbit snailsb one nerite (he gave us 2 but the other is with my betta) a few black mysteries, and a golden apple who i named Big Mama.

Lemme tell u about big mama real fast. I call her this because, first of all shes a full grown golden appleb second of all because shes a mama. He had a live planted tank thich included a moss ball he has been taking care of for 5 year, its the size of my head and when we put it in the 75 gallon it because the main pice of the tank. What we found out later was that Big Mama had made her family in ut and we have abou 20 BABY GOLDEN APPLES IN THERE ALONE!! He also gave us an anibius fern which i put in my betta’s tank and after getting to college and living hear for a few weeks i found out there were eggs on it because I KNOW HAVE MANY A BABY GOLDEN APPLE. these ones tho r much smaller than the moss ball ones, mine being hatchlings and those being the size of a finger nail. But anyway they have grown large enough where i can tell they r not pest snails and i will be rehoming them to other fish keepers in my dorms once they get a little bigger.

My mom has 3 hairless guinea pigs. Did you know that at petco people tend to walk in and drop off pets they “just dont want any more”? Well it hapoens a lot and my mom fell in love with them instantly. We have Billy, the oldest, Piggy, the middle in age, and sweet baby Bear who is small and young. They are all good boys and are doing very well so far in their new home! My mom had already owned billy and was looking into getting him friends, (guinea pigs live friends! They actually should be kept in atleast pairs but we were not aware at first, now we know better) all three of them are being slowly introduced! Bear and Piggy already live together but we dont want to rush this process and put billy right into the mix, that would probably be the worst think. They are slowly beibg acclimated to eachother.

I guess you could say i love pets because they are sweet and wonderful. I keep most of them because i know i can care for them, that i have the space, and the resources. I have the time and the will to foster a loving home for all my pets, and so does my family. Animals are a big part of my life and i love all of them with all my heart.

My future plans? Well nothing soon! Im in a dorm so Cosmos and his snail friends are all ivr got planed rn. But i hope to, onece in the distante future, get a tank with a school of danionella dracula in it, they are tiny fishb only getting half an inch in side. But id need a good tank for them since they school about 12 and id like to do the whome thing live plants (i also want one of those rimless aquatiums hnnnnnnnngh) i hope to upgrade cosmos to a larger aquarium b currently hes in a 2.5 which is enough for a betta, sure, but id rather he be in a 5 gallon. But really? I just wanna go home n be with GiGi more than anything.

Thank you for the ask!