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amourdivine · 7 months

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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 🤍 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒.𝐏. 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 & 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔?

Hello, lovelies! This was a suggested reading from a dear anonymous. It had a more romantic subtext, but I hope you take out what resonates & leave what doesn’t! If you have any more suggestions, so let me know! Feedback is always welcome. If you liked this reading, please consider booking a paid reading or tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo. ♡

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how to choose your pile. take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

♡ ♡ ♡ pick a card masterlist & information

disclaimer. this is a general reading for entertainment purposes. tarot is a divination tool & is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

PILE ONE 💜

what do they think about you? ten of swords • eight of pentacles • six of cups.

I just heard Coldplay’s “The Scientist”, specifically the bit in which he sings “take me back to the start”. I wonder if you two had a fight, some sort of falling out or heavy disagreement. They think they’ve lost you - this is weighing heavy on their mind. They wish they could go back to when things were simpler, when things weren’t so difficult and anxiety-inducing. I think they feel a lot of shame and blame as well (I heard “blame game”) and I’m not going to lie, pile one, this person may be overthinking this connection, especially the way they see it. It feels heavy, like my chest and my throat are holding so much energy but nothing comes out. They’re not thinking clearly, despite thinking so much, it’s really difficult for them to “think” a way out of this situation you’re in. However, they do wish to work towards a peaceful resolution with you. They want to find a way to make things feel lighthearted and happy for the two of you again. This person could also be listening to a lot of heavy/sad songs, because so many of them are coming through to me. They’re experiencing a lot of self-hatred and very difficult emotions are going through them. They’re mourning some kind of happy ending, but they’re still willing to salvage the relationship if that's something you also desire.

how do they feel towards you? the empress • ace of swords • page of pentacles.

Gosh, there’s so much love here. They not only miss you, but they want to talk to you… to ask you how to work this out. They just want it to work it out between you two, pile one. Even if it’s difficult, like I mentioned in the previous section, they only want you. They don’t see anyone else for them. They don’t want to let you go, to lose you. It’s why their mind is so foggy and so clouded with poor judgment, they feel a lot of despair over the thought of losing the love you two have and shared. If your connection ended, they’re still not over it - they’re refusing to move on, simply because in their heart, they’ve decided it’s you. And I don’t think they’ve fully voiced it out just how much they want you, but they intend to do so. No matter how painful this situation has become, they hold some sort of hope that you’ll want to work things out with them too. They love you in a pure, devoted way and know how unique, how beautiful this connection is.

channeled messages: “i hate myself for what i did to you”, “i can’t forget you”, “you’re beautiful”, runaway, empty roads, highways, road trips, memories, polaroid pictures, “i wish things were easier”, “you betrayed me”, burning bridges, “do you still love me?”, deja vu.

channeled song: ghostin’ by Ariana Grande.

PILE TWO 🩷

what do they think about you? the magician • the lovers • the world

I couldn’t name a more beautiful spread. They put you on a pedestal, sort of - this person sees all that you are and they’re amazed. They admire you, they love you and they can’t see anyone else but you. This person’s got heart eyes when they look at you, maybe their eyes sparkle - pay attention next time you speak to them in person. Although they may wonder if they’re good enough for you, this person truly, deeply is inspired by you. It’s possible this is a friend of yours who’s crushing on you and vice-versa, but neither one of you is willing to admit it yet. This is a dreamy vibe, even, I feel like I’m immersed in Piscean energy. Maybe one of you is Neptune dominant or has Pisces in 1st. It’s the feeling of a high school crush, the intense, beautiful and almost soul-crushing one, but the kind of connection that has a lasting impact. Even if you haven’t known this person for a long time, they are eager to know more about you, all the little things that you do and say are stuck in the back of their mind. They don’t take it for granted. You’re extremely important to them, regardless of the nature of this relationship, you’re someone they want around.

how do they feel towards you? three of cups • five of wands • nine of swords.

They’re anxious, because they’ve got some heavy competition. Even if they see all these positive qualities in you, this person is afraid they’ll ruin the friendship by risking it. So many people are interested in you, that they’re afraid of rejection, afraid of all the people vying for your attention and sometimes, they just wish they could get rid of these feelings already. It’s possible there’s a 3rd party situation going on - either you or them could be in a committed relationship and there’s a lot of guilt and anxiety involved. You’re this person’s wish come true, but they don’t know what to do. They’re stuck in their head about it, fantasizing about coming towards you, talking to you and not feeling so insecure or jealous when they see you with someone else. I got the vivid imagery of someone seeing their crush talking to someone else at a party and being almost soul crushed by the fact that they’re so afraid of approaching the other. It’s giving me fanfiction vibes (in the best way possible, I promise). I’m almost sorry for this person because they’re so blindsided by their pessimism that they can’t fully see a way into being with you, no matter how much they want to. They know they need to make a move before they lose you for good, though.

channeled messages: “i’m so sick of love songs”, “i just want to talk to you”, instagram, DM’s, subtle flirting, “are you alone tonight?”, crush, “i feel invisible”, insecurity, jealousy, bonfire party, college life, “give me back my jacket”, inside jokes.

channeled song: Are You Bored Yet? by Wallows ft. Clairo.

PILE THREE 💖

what do they think about you? eight of cups • six of cups • the devil.

“Gone for good”, I just heard that. My playlist started playing sad breakup songs too, it’s honestly a little heartbreaking and quite bittersweet. This person thinks, well, they know you’ve left them behind and you seem done with them. You left them and they’re triggered. They’ve got so much going on in their head, always filled with “what ifs”. Your connection has turned sour and they think you wanted to pursue something better for yourself, something that didn’t trigger the both of you so much. I feel like this connection may have turned toxic, so they know you needed to leave, but nonetheless, they’re grieving, they’re sour and bitter. I don’t know if this person was heavily immature towards you or even disrespectful, but you left them on a chokehold because they didn’t expect you to simply walk away so easily. I don’t think it’s been easy for either one of you. I’m more so feeling a situationship or a friendship kind of vibe here, not a full, official commitment. Everything they see in you is almost a projection of their worst fears. All your worst traits mirror back to them, calling them to do some soul deep healing. I saw the Death card in the back of my mind, so I think this person knows it’s time to move on, to let you go, but they’re still obsessing over this ending you’ve had and it’s possible they lurk on your social media. It’s not an evil or malicious energy, but they’re not in a good headspace to talk or see you right now.

how do they feel towards you? two of swords • knight of cups • ten of wands.

Sometimes they love you, they miss you. Sometimes they just hate everything that came to be about the two of you. They’re tired, overburdened by their feelings, so sick of feeling so much and nothing at the same time. This person can’t really pinpoint exactly what they feel for you, but I got nauseous and almost sick to my stomach? I think they just wish they could erase this pain forever, but sometimes, they wish they could get some closure from you as well. It’s possible they wish they could give you some closure as well. All these messy feelings are taking their time in this person’s heart and body, but I think this connection, as triggering as it may have been, has brought up a lot of things back into the surface. Regardless of how they feel about you, it all ties back to their wounds, their feelings and themselves. I got some heavy Scorpio feelings in the last section and now I’m getting some Libra - I feel like those were significant energies and placements for your pile. This person’s not only heartbroken but almost… burnt out by everything that went down. They’re slowly trying to heal, to let go and forgive, but they’re not having the easiest time. I don’t think they’re “evil eyeing” you in any way, but I also think some distance will do the both of you some good. I feel like Spirit wants to emphasize how good this ending will be for you.

channeled messages: “you deserve better”, “i want to go back to who i was, mental health, physical health, “get over it”, 777, friends with benefits, messing around, fuck around and find out, taylor swift, moved on, finally, second chances, “i was a second option”, simply unrequited.

channeled song: Berenstein by The Band CAMINO | extra: Favourite Song by Tim Chadwick.

PILE FOUR 🩵

what do they think about you? the magician • ace of cups • six of swords.

You’re so nurturing, healing and magical. This person sees you as some sort of fairy, a beautiful, wholesome person who’s got so much love to give and to receive. Even the song that started playing is one of my favorites, a very healing and soft one. They see you as a safe person, an Earth angel, someone who’s almost like their lucky charm. The vibes here aren’t only romantic - they fit for friendships and familial relationships too. They’ve got a lot of fond memories and stories of you. I see someone going through a photo album and laughing to themselves in joy. This person sees a lot of good things in you and you’ve given them some sort of renewed faith in connections and humanity. They know you’ve been through a lot - they see you’re still healing. Every now and then, they catch glimpses of moments when you’re not feeling so good, but they still see your potential and growth nonetheless. I think your words and presence calm this person down. They value your advice immensely, all your words of wisdom and encouragement. I feel like Gemini and Leo are significant placements for this pile - I got the Strength card in the back of my mind, with the woman caressing the lion in the card. You bring calm and softness to this person’s life.

how do they feel towards you? queen of pentacles • ace of pentacles • two of wands.

I heard “wife you up”, lol. If this is a romantic connection, this person wants to offer you a deeper form of commitment - in whatever way that means for your connection. I feel like this person is smitten by you, even if you’re friends, you’re their closest, most prized friend. They’re making plans for something bigger, something greater between the two of you. This person views you as someone they could have ultimate success in every way, someone trustworthy and someone they intend on making accommodations for to fit in their life. It’s so soft and sweet, I see a woman arranging and rearranging pillows in a soft-looking bedroom to make sure her guests will be comfortable during their stay. I think they’re making room for you in their heart and mind, even their home as well. Maybe they haven’t told you, but they’re giddy to have met you and to spend more time with you. If this person proposes to you soon, please don’t tell them I told you! I’m not trying to ruin their plans, but let me say your connection has some really sweet, lovely surprises along the way. If you get engaged though, let me know, pile four. I’m really happy for you!

channeled messages: “fight for you”, “let me love you”, acts of service, bouquets, rainy days, “put your head on my shoulder”, “it’s okay to cry”, “i want to be there for you”, “you don’t have to pretend with me”, cupping someone’s face in your hands, comfort food, hugs, ice cream, care bears, pisces, cancer, healing, therapy, inner child.

channeled song: Room Service by Holly Humberstone | extra: Break For You by Valley.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2023 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

514 notes · View notes

koolades-world · 7 months

Note

Hello, I'm looking for some angst.

I would like to order an extra harsh reality of

"The brothers will pick their sister over Mc if given a chance"

And some side dish of "The undertables having to fight for Mc"

Thanksiiee!!

hi!! Sorry I took so long to get to this but I was so looking forward to writing this when I got it! slight mentions at nsfw but nothing is described or really directly talked about. also spoilers for lesson 16 and also also long!! much longer than I anticipated

everything I write turns into Satan pieces somehow lol

Took inspo from Harry Potter, specifically Tom Riddle’s diary in the Chamber of Secrets (don't @ me used to be a huge hp fan)

update: part two is out and can be found here :)

the dance of the haunted (part one)

It all started with a simple trip to the second hand bookstore. Satan always invited Mc, so they were together. He needed a hand carrying back his purchases sometimes and they always went someone to eat afterwards, Satan’s treat as he could never imagine asking Mc to pay.

They bookstore they visited today was a usual for them. It was close enough to walk, but far enough to avoid running into his brothers. Satan knew Mc really enjoyed old cookbooks and worn fantasy books. They also often searched for children’s books to read to local demon children as part of a school club. While he was initially concerned with them coming into contact with a cursed book, he grew more comfortable after seeing their magical ability and that they always carried an enchanted talisman that Solomon gifted them for that purpose.

Mc was over in the nature section, flipping through a book about creatures in the 3rd ring of hell. Satan found himself in the tomes section again. He, as usual, found himself rooting through the very back trying to uncover hidden gems. He was about to pick up a book he thought Mc might like to flip through it, when he froze. Just a sliver of this book was in his vision, but he already felt the magic oozing from it. It's a wonder he didn't sense it sooner. He put the other book in a hurry and pulled out the book from the back.

It was unlabeled, with a faded green cover and a golden ribbon attached to the spine. It marked a page close to the beginning. The magic radiating from it didn't seem bad in any way. It actually seemed quite positive. He was able to place it quickly after he felt the ribbon sticking out the bottom of the book.

This was most certainly a book infused with an angelic blessing at the very least, but how in the world had this ended up in a second hand book store in the Devildom, of all places. He flipped it over, looking for anything to go off of, but found nothing but a cursive golden letter L etched on the bottom right corner. He was a little afraid to open it, giving that it was in the hands of an angel at some point. After thinking it over, if anything happened to him, Mc would help him as soon as they noticed something amiss. Thanks to the pact, it would be almost instantly.

With the thought of Mc, he slowly opened the book. On the first page and on the inside of the front cover was handwriting that seemed oddly familiar. He struggled to read the words on the page at first due to the sense of familiarity. He suddenly got deja vu, as if he had held this book before. He closed his eyes for a moment to stop the world from spinning. When he reopened them, he felt like crying, and yet, he still wasn't sure why. Once he finally read what was written, he understood why.

On the inside cover, it read "Property of Lilith Morningstar" and near the bottom in large writing was a messy scrawl he recognized as Mammon's handwriting. It said "mammon waz here" with a little drawing of himself sticking his tongue out. A heart in a different color of ink enclosed the message and drawing. On the first page was a note seemingly from Lucifer. Satan would recognize his handwriting anywhere. It was a heartfelt message from Lucifer to Lilith, saying that he hoped the gift reached her well, and that he missed and loved her.

He closed the book for a second and suddenly felt faint. He sat on the floor, holding his head in his hands. He thought about what he had just read for a moment. The book that he had somehow found, maybe by chance or fate, belonged to his brother's late sister. It was a gift from Lucifer to Lilith while he was away. He realized that's probably why he felt his emotions raging. The Lucifer in him recognized the book, since he had seemingly picked it out himself to give to his sister. How had this ended up in a second hand bookstore? He theorized maybe it had been made in the Devildom and Lucifer had purchased it during one of his trips. But, angel Lucifer would have never done that. He was disgusted by the mere thought of even having to go down at the time, so the thought of him browsing shops was out of the question. Deciding to come back to that thought later, he decided to quickly flip through it, just to see what it was.

As he reopened the book, new waves of magic hit him. He didn't recognize them, but they felt as familiar as his brothers. He guessed their magic was also somehow within this book. But since it was all angelic magic, everything having to do with this book happened before the fall, before he even existed. Much to his dismay, everything beyond the first page was blank. He closed and opened it a few times, but nothing happened. He guessed it might be locked by magic in some way. The thought of trying to magically pry it open scared him again. He was a demon through and through, and since this was blessed by angels, he had no clue what might happen to him if he tried. He was certain whoever blessed this book did not accommodate for whatever he was, but he thought it to be unwise to test the limits.

"Satan. What are you doing on the floor?" Mc walked up to him, holding a few books in their arms.

"Oh, just looking at book on the bottom shelf. I got tired of crouching." He quickly placed the green book down on top of a stack of his other books.

"I get that. Just wanted to let you know I'm ready to be done when you are. Don't rush for me." They turned to walk away, but Satan stopped them.

"I'm done too. I was finishing up." He moved to get up. Mc turned back around to look at him.

"I made great timing then! Here, I'll carry some of these for you." They grabbed the first few books off his stack. He felt his stomach lurch when they touched the green book. He couldn't help but feel nervous with them handling the book, although he wasn't sure why. He didn't want to say anything about it to them, and again, he didn't know why. For now, maybe it was best he kept this to himself anyways. Mc’s expression didn't change and they continued to pile on the books until the green one was in the middle. There was nothing special about that book to them.

"Thank you." Satan made himself say. He picked up the remaining books and they proceeded to the check out together. Today, an older demon worked the register. She was familiar with the pair and had a soft spot for Mc.

"Is that everything for today?" She asked them as she counted the books. Between the two of them, they had thirteen books. Satan handed the demon the needed amount of grim, and waved them on their way. Satan insisted on carrying the bag of books home, since this time there wasn’t too many.

"Let's stop at a café on our way home. I'm dying for something warm to drink right now." Mc grabbed Satan's hand and pulled him in the direction they wanted to go in. He smiled and allowed himself to be dragged off. While they were enjoying coffee together, he was able to temporally forget about the book he had discovered. All of his thoughts were about Mc for the time being.

When they arrived home together, Mc loudly announced that they were there. Mammon came running to greet them. "Mc! I got somethin' for ya! Ya gotta come with me right now!" He grabbed both of the hands and began to pull them away.

"Thank you for the coffee and books, Satan. Tell me about what you bought at dinner tonight." They looked back at him before looking at Mammon again.

"I will. I'll drop off your books in your room. I had a great time." He lifted a hand at them, as a goodbye.

"Mc!" Mammon began to whine.

"Yes, yes. Let's go now." Mammon took off with Mc in tow, leaving Satan stewing in his thoughts again. He went back to his room with all of the books. The other books he had picked out were no longer interesting compared to the Lilith book. However, he didn't want to mess with it while his brothers were awake. The last thing he wanted was them finding out. While he felt bad keeping it from them, something in him was telling him not to show it to them yet. He had promised Mc he would tell them about the books he picked out. The only one he wanted to read was the one about cats. He could easily talk about it to Mc anyways, without having to worry about the Lilith book crossing his mind.

He read until it was time for dinner. Today, it was Asmo’s turn to cook. He was actually a pretty good cook, probably the best in the house. It always turned out well and was plated gorgeous on top of that. He came to the dinner table with the book he hand been reading, still reading. He took his seat across from Mc, not looking up just yet.

“Hey, is that one of the new books?” Satan looked over his book and saw Mc peering at him.

“Yes, actually. It’s a cat book! Cats are the best.” He happily pointed to the picture of a cat on the front. As they ate, the conversation began to drift away from books, and onto something that Satan thought was irrelevant. He tried to go back to reading, but found himself reading the same lines over and over again. His thoughts had reverted to the little green book sitting in a pile of books on his bed. He has buried it, just in case someone happened to walk in.

As Mc mediated yet another argument between Levi and Mammon, he couldn’t find it in himself to silently seethe and glare at his brothers as he usually did. He blankly stared at his book, picking at his food. He was stuck wondering why the book didn’t say anything. He planned what he would do once he got back to his room. He knew he had a book of protective spells somewhere in the house that he might use to protect himself before attempting to interact with the book more.

“Satan. Is everything alright?” Lucifer placed a hand on his shoulder, catching him off guard. The table was basically empty now, much to his surprise. It was only Beel, Belphie and himself still seated. Beel was still eating and Belphie was passed out next to him.

“Nothing is wrong.” Satan snapped back after a moment.

“Alright. Please don’t forget do the dishes.” Lucifer retraced his hand, and with one final, unreadable look at Satan, left the room. He was unsure about how to feel about Lucifer noticing something was amiss. He snapped his book shut. He wasn’t really reading it in the first place. He put the book down on the kitchen counter and began absentmindedly doing the dishes. He was lost in though about the book currently buried underneath about twenty other books on his bed.

He finished in record time. He grabbed his cat book, figuring Beel could wash his own dish once he was done. He retreated to his room. He was released to find everything just as he left it. He dug up the green book from his pile, placing all the other books on the floor for the time being. He sat at his desk, running his hands over the cover. Under his little desk lamp, it seemed to sparkle in a way that he hasn’t previously noticed. Once he opened it, he was greeted with what he has seen earlier that day. But, to his surprise, there was more beyond that.

Most of the pages in the front of the book curled from usage. At the top of each page, was a note of the date. Below this, was a diary entry of sorts. Sometimes, it was just a to-do list, or a recipe. Others, he found Lilith’s accounts of her day to day life. He decided to start at the beginning, reading the first ever entry. He hoped to gain a little context of what exactly this journal was and how it worked.

Lilith had written on the first page after the note from Lucifer about how he has sent her this journal while on a trip to the Devildom, stating it was made by a human according to the tag on the outside of the journal. He enchanted it himself to only allow her to see the contents of this journal.

Satan paused his reading for a moment. If it has been enchanted to only allow Lilith to read the journal, how was he able to read it just now? He wasn’t close to her. They never knew each other. As he flipped to the next page to hopefully skim it for context of any kind, the words in front of him began to fade. The ink retracted into the page, from the last letter she had written, to the first. He wasn’t sure what he could do to prevent this, so he just quickly read what he could. The next page was something about how Belphie had wanted to take a look at it and something about Beel. Once he got there, the words has begun to erase themselves. He watched helplessly as everything disappeared. Soon, he was just stuck with the plain book he had discovered that afternoon, and the cover no longer shimmered.

He sighed, flipping through it again. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for. He was about to check out the back cover again when he heard his door being pushed open.

“Satan! Thought I would find you here.” Mc greeted him.

“It’s my room. What did you expect?” He shut the book in a hurry.

“Well, I can just as often find you in the library.” They approached him, touching his face. They outlined his jaw and smoothed his cheeks with their thumbs. He reached for their wrists, touching them with an imploring look.

“What’s the matter?” He petted their hair. They sat down in his lap and placed their head on his shoulder. He couldn’t help but worry that the journal was right in their view now, but he hugged them close nonetheless.

“I just feel lonely.” They sighed and buried their face in his neck.

“Really? After all that time you spent with Mammon?” He laughed a little at their predicament.

“Don’t laugh! It’s not the same as when I’m with you.” They pouted and puffed their cheeks out. He chuckled a little more at the cute face they made at him.

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop. What can I do for you, my beloved?” He could get lost in their eyes.

“Give me affection! Just kisses will do.” They pointed to their forehead. Satan smiled at them, amused.

“As you wish.” He began to pepper their face in kisses. As Mc grew more needy, the more he satisfied them. One thing led to another, as they ended up in Satan’s bed. They stayed together for the rest of the night, the journal long forgotten.

Early the next morning, after their night of passion, Satan awoke abruptly. He looked around. He was in his own room, but his clothes were scattered around the room. A shirt was hanging by a thread off a tall pile of books. Mc was asleep next to him, their arms wrapped around him. His lamp light was still on. He reached over as far as he could to reach the off switch. Before he could hit it, he saw the journal. He glanced back at Mc. He didn’t want to wake them, but he felt the urge to open it. He reached out to touch it, and as soon as he did, he noticed it began to shimmer like it had before. He was amazed. He quickly flipped as best as he could to a random page with one hand. He could see lots of writing. He shut it again, taking his hands off of it. It remained shimmery.

He decided not to flip through it now, since he wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind to at the moment. Instead, he noted the time; 4:03 am. Once he woke up, he would check it again to get a rough idea of how long it would stay open for since earlier, he wasn’t sure how long it had been open for. He finally shut the lamp off and let the book flutter closed. He took his mind off the book, and laid back down. He tucked an arm around Mc as best he could without waking them, and drifted back to sleep.

He awoke for the second time that day. Everything was essentially the same as it was earlier except for the time and the noise outside his door. Mc was still asleep next to him, griping him tightly. It was 8:24 am now, and he could hear Lucifer pacing around past his door in the hall. He didn't make any noise. The last thing he wanted was to see his ugly mug first thing in the morning. Because of this, he decided not to leave him room just yet, but he also didn't want to open the journal either. He would, however, check if it was still "open" or readable. He flickered on his little desk lamp again, and was greeted with the shimmery cover. He didn't want to touch it, because he was almost certain he was able to set it off that morning. Once he was able to think clearer, he would revisit that.

Instead, he grabbed the first book he could get his hands on and began to read. He wasn't sure how long he was there, just reading, but eventually he felt Mc begin to stir. “Good morning, sleepyhead.” Satan greeted the bleary eyed person snuggled into his side.

“Good morning love. How long was I asleep?” They yawned, making no move to sit up. Neither of them were dressed at the moment anyways.

“A decent amount. Longer than I did anyways.” He shrugged, placing the book facedown on his desk, over the journal.

“Thanks for not waking me. You wouldn’t guess how many times Mammon or Asmo have woken me up way too early. Granted, it’s usually on accident. Asmo with his skincare and Mammon with… I don’t actually know.” Mc rolled on to their side to look at Satan better, throwing one of their arms over his torso. He felt himself growing shy under their sleepy gaze. He knew he wasn't the only one graced with that privilege, but the way they looked at him made him feel so special. He would give them every star in the sky if they asked.

“That makes me all the more grateful that they don’t dare enter my room. Makes it quite the sanctuary, don’t you think?” Satan chuckled.

“Mmm, yes.” They yawned again.

“What do you want to eat for breakfast, sweetheart? Or is it too soon to think about that?” He asked.

“Give me a few more minutes and then I’ll find an answer for you.” Mc closed their eyes again, potentially going back to sleep. He used that time to reflect. His thoughts grew a little grim as he let them wander. That journal kept finding it's way into his mind. How had he been able to find that? What were the chances of that happening? Maybe it would have made a little more sense if one of his brothers had found the book instead, since part of them seemed to linger between the lines. He was a different story, though. The magic within must had been much more powerful than he anticipated.

Even as he turned his head to the side to look at the book again, he saw the pages glimmer in the light that didn't exist. Something seemed... wrong. He hadn't noticed it before, maybe due to the excitement of simply finding it. The circumstances of which he found it in too was bizarre. As a powerful demon, he should have noticed the angelic energy as soon as he entered the book store. He dwelled on this idea. Perhaps last night's activities had had an affect on it. He coughed a little, covering up his embarrassment from the invisible audience. As he thought more, it really made no sense that he just happened to find it. Had it been planted there for him specifically, or was it the journal itself? Just what did this book know? He did consider himself exceptional, but not nearly as much as his brothers. Their story was far more interesting than his own. He was just the consequence of their actions. Whatever the case with this book, he felt the urge to get to the bottom of it, despite the creeping dread in his gut.

He spent the next few days of his reading time picking though every page of the journal. He was able to learn so much about his brothers' days in the Celestial Realm, far more than they had ever bothered to tell him. Perhaps they thought speaking about it might bother him. Whatever the case, he found it strange to refer to them as angels. Lilith wrote lots about the twins and Asmo. She wrote less about the older brothers but it was clear they were just as important to her. He had know Asmo was the Jewel of the Heavens, but the way Lilith described him made him sound like the most amazing thing the world had ever seen. The more and more he read, the more he saw the similarities between himself and her. He too considered Asmo a trusted confidant, and a close friend of his. He too found himself sneaking off with Belphie for mischievous reasons, or spending time with Beel for his quiet, comforting presence. He began to realize how difficult losing her might have been for them. In the past, he knew it was a sore subject, especially among the youngest, but now he could really feel their pain as Lilith wrote about their daily misadventures. What they missed. Would they exchange him for her if given the chance? He shook this thought off, not liking the implications it might have.

Her innocence was painted clearly for him on each page, yet, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. He checked the book again and again for traces of demonic magic but found nothing. The strangest part was that he couldn't even find his own. There was traces of various angels, most of which he didn't recognize, likely from the far gone past. The journal continued to puzzle him.

As time passed, the entries grew more and more chaotic. From her new lover, to the growing tensions between Lucifer and their father. They grew shorter and less carefree. Even her handwriting differed. She seemed to understand the gravity of what she had done. He knew this is when the Celestial War was about to begin. Her last entry was about her lover, again about how enchanting she found them, and how one day she hoped to spend the rest of her life with him, no matter what. He paused for a moment, realizing this entry was written likely days, or even hours before he was born. After that entry, the pages were blank. There were some pages with stray pen marks, but that's all he was able to uncover. He knew the ending to this story. The silence told it all. He sat for a while, reflecting again about everything he had seen. As he was thinking, words began to appear on the page in front of him, in the same handwriting and ink color as he had seen in the entire journal. It was Lilith's. Satan paused. He could tell the journal held magical properties, but this was not something he expected to happen.

"Hello? Anyone there?" The words appeared suddenly. He continued staring at the page until more words appeared. "You can say something you know. Ink will do." Satan began to look around for a writing utensil at these words. Once he found one, he began to pen a response.

"Hello. Are you Lilith?" He wrote down underneath the previous words. He got his own response quickly.

"Yes, I am! How'd you know that?" Satan paused again, about to write more, but was cut off as Lilith began to write more. "Haha! Just kidding. This is my journal. My name is in it. It would be weird if this wasn't me. Who are you, by the way? I don't think I've ever had a visitor." Right away, Satan thought Lilith reminded him of Asmo. He was probably like this when he was an angel.

He stopped before bringing his pen down to the page again. He was unsure on how to introduce himself. During his visit to the past, he went by Sully, which was the stupidest name in his opinion. But, he also didn't want to lie to her. Would it be wrong to tell her his story, and what happened after the war? "My name is Satan. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too! That's a pretty cool name. Interesting for sure." She wrote.

"I don't want to scare you away, but I want to make this clear as to not deceive you." He wanted to tell her the truth. He felt like she deserved to know. After all, he had always felt like she was supposed to be in his place. She even wrote in green.

"Oh, tell away then. I'm all ears. I won't judge, unless you're about to confess some sort of sin to me!" She wrote, most likely jokingly. That made him a little nervous at first, but he continued with the original plan anyways. Maybe this was his way of healing, somehow. He felt better after getting everything out. He told her almost everything. He omitted the part where Belphie murdered Mc. He didn't want to be the one to tell her, anyways. It felt wrong to tell her that her death had driven him to such an extreme. She stayed mostly silent, chiming in with a few questions and stray blots of ink on the pages near his writing, as if she was resting her pen on the page.

"I hope that wasn't too much to take in at once. Much has happened." Satan was still a nervous. He really hoped she wouldn't hate him. He was just the messenger. After all, without her, he wouldn't even exist.

"I won't lie, it was overwhelming at first. But, I'm happy to hear my brothers are doing well without me. It's comforting to know that they have you and Mc now." Lilith drew a little heart next to her message.

"Glad to hear. Sorry to leave so abruptly, but I agreed to meet Mc for an outing shortly, so I will see myself out." He wasn't lying. He had agreed to meet Mc, but it wasn't for another two hour.

"Alright. Have fun! Talk to you later." With that, everything she had said sunk into the page and left no trace behind.

"Goodbye." His words also disappeared. Just like that, their entire conversation was gone. He shut the book. He was glad she didn't object. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to leave early. He felt a little bad leaving her to stew in the information dump, if she actually existed beyond the book being open. Everything about the book confused him. Looking back at it, maybe he made a rash decision. Maybe he shouldn't have info dumped to her like that.

He decided to forget that for now to enjoy his time with Mc. They had an event to attend, and he had to get ready anyways. Later that night, he came back to the journal in order to study it. He opted not to talk to Lilith just yet. The sick feeling in his stomach had returned. Something was wrong with this journal, very wrong. It made no sense, even after chatting to her. She seemed sweet enough, but that wasn't enough to dispel that gross, nauseating feeling. He just couldn't place his finger on what. He felt as if he was losing his mind checking over and over again, for something, anything. But, he found absolutely nothing.

Eventually he got to the point where he was determining if he should burn it or not. He regretted even talking to her in the first place. He wasn't sure why, but he grew uneasy even having Mc in the same house as the journal. Somehow, it felt as if he was talking to someone else, as in not the Lilith who made the original entries. He placed the journal back on his desk, underneath his latest book finds, leaving to find Mc. He eventually found them by the door, putting their shoes on.

"Hey Satan. Good to see you!" They looked up at him.

"Hi, Mc. Where are you going?" He was relieved they were leaving the house.

"Purgatory Hall. I was invited over to play some games. Sol's idea." They began searching for their jacket. Satan noticed it hidden behind Lucifer's big overcoat. He grabbed it, and helped them put it on, thinking hard. "Aww thank you. You didn't have to do that." They beamed at him.

"I wanted to, it's no trouble." He paused for a moment, then continued. "Hey, do you think it's possible that I could come with you. I don't even have to play these games if that's an issue, I just want to be with you." He would feel even better if he was able to be with them, and get away from that journal for a while.

"Oh, of course! I'm sure they would love to have you. Besides, I've basically always got one of you brothers attached to me, they might find it weird if I showed up without one." Mc laughed. "I thought you were planning to read tonight, since I've been taking up almost all of your nights for the past week. Did something happen?" They seemed concerned, looking into his eyes.

"Thank you. Really, I can put off reading again. All time spent with you is precious. It's hard to be away from you, you should know. You're simply enchanting." He took their hand and spun them into his arms.

"Alright, if you say so! We should get going if we want to be on time. I can let them know if you need a little time to get ready?" Mc giggled, buying his excuse. They might have seen though him, but was glad they chose not to say anything.

"I just need my shoes and coat as well. I wouldn't want to hold you up, anyways." He only let Mc go in favor of getting ready. "You know, I'm honestly surprised you aren't already bringing Mammon or Asmo." He told them.

"Me too, actually. Asmo was busy, and Mammon was too distracted with his car repairs to pay attention to what I was saying earlier. I was almost held back by Belphie too. But, I'm here now and I get to spend this time with you." They stood beside him as he tied his shoes and shrugged on his jacket. As the two of them made their way to Purgatory Hall, Mc held his hand so tightly and gazed at him so tenderly, he was almost convinced they were the only thing in the world.

When they arrived, they had plenty of fun. Solomon had arranged a collection of games to play as a group that were randomly decided by drawing slips of paper. To nobody's surprise, Solomon and Mc ended up winning most of them because they were human games. Satan forgot all about the journal. That is, until, he received a phone call in the middle of one of their games. Mc was draped over him with their arms around his neck, also curious about who might be calling them at a time like this. It was Lucifer.

"I told them we were heading out. What could he need?" Mc reached for the phone but Satan stopped them.

"If the call is for me, it's probably to yell at me or something. I don't want you to be on the receiving end of that." Satan rolled his eyes, and brought the phone to his ear, planning to brush off anything he said. He was really only answering because Simeon was in the room, who would answer it for him.

"Come home. Now. You have explaining to do." Lucifer growled through the phone. At first, Satan wasn't worried. He got ominous calls from his older brother like this all the time.

"What is it?" He sighed. Mc laughed a little, causing him to smile. The others began to chat among themselves while he was on the phone. This was normal.

"You know exactly what this is about. On your desk in your room. Underneath three books. Your keys on the left. The pen you used on the right." Satan froze. The smile left his face. Lucifer always sounded serious, but this was one of the few times he sounded like he was about to rip his throat out. He had found the journal. Mc didn't hear what he said, somehow, but noticed his change in demeanor.

"What's the matter, 'Tan?" Mc brushed some hair off his forehead.

"Nothing, my love. Don't worry about it. It's the usual nonsense." He moved the phone away from his ear for the moment, and then back once he was done speaking.

"Let me speak to Mc. I want them home too. Now." The tone Lucifer used to dangerous. Satan knew that was unwise. He didn't know what his plan was, but he didn't trust him at all.

"No. I will come home, but I'm not bringing Mc. I will not needlessly involve them. This will stay between us." Satan began to grow angry. He couldn't help it. Typical Lucifer, complicating matters.

"If you don't come right now, I'll drag you both back personally." Satan knew he wasn't kidding. None of his threats were empty.

"Fine. Have it your way. We'll be home shortly." Satan hung up before Lucifer could respond. By now, the entire room was staring at him. He looked totally different than he had before. He was tense, his rage obvious.

"Are we leaving? What's the matter? Did something happen?" Mc looked at him, concerned.

"I'm heading home to take care of something, but you're staying here. I promise it's nothing serious." He lied through his teeth. He didn't know why Lucifer wanted Mc there, but he knew it couldn't be good. The journal was bad news, and they were involved in no way.

"Are you sure? Lucifer said he wanted me there, right? You know how good I am at sorting out issues in your family. I really don't mind, if that's the issues." They squeezed him a little. They were so caring. Too caring.

"I'm sure. I won't act out or anything. He's probably mad about chores or something. I wonder if Mammon sold his underwear while it was my turn to do laundry again." Satan smiled. They cracked a small smile back.

"Alright. Keep me updated. I'll be waiting for you." Mc pressed a kiss to his forehead before climbing off of him.

"Simeon, before I go, can I have a quick word?" Simeon, who was comforting Luke, turned at the sound of his name.

"Of course." Simeon stood up, gesturing for Mc to take his seat next to Solomon. Luke was seated on the floor between them. Mc looked worried, but moved regardless. Solomon looked around the room, studying everyone's expressions. Simeon walked with Satan to the entry way. "What's the matter?" He asked, holding out Satan's coat for him.

"I want you to place a blessing on this building. Do not let any demon in under any circumstance. Including me. I don't care what they say. I don't have time to explain, but something is very wrong at the House of Lamentation and I don't want a single one of my brothers near Mc." He shoved his shoes on as he spoke. He hastily put on his jacket and turned to look at Simeon one last time.

"I don't know what could be wrong, but I trust you. Mc is safe in mine and Solomon's hands." Simeon let his hands fall to his sides, opening the door for Satan. He watched as he took off running in the opposite direction of the House of Lamentation. He could only stare and wait for him to be a good distance away, before shutting the door. He went back to the living room to find Mc hugging Luke, Solomon with a hand on Luke's shoulder.

"Solomon." Simeon said the sorcerer's name. He stood up and walked over to him. "Satan didn't tell me what the matter was, but I need you to do a quick check of the house to make sure nobody but us is in here. Satan requested I bless the house to keep his brothers out." The expression on both of their faces was grim.

"Of course." Solomon shut his eyes and waved his hand. Once he reopened them, Simeon knew he had completed the check. "Nobody but the four of us are here."

"Thank you. Normally I would ask Luke to help me perform the blessing, but I would prefer to leave him alone for now. Will you accompany me?" Solomon nodded. Simeon led him away, leaving the room together, leaving Mc and Luke along together on the sofa in the once full room.

"What's wrong, Mc?" Luke asked them. For once, they had no clue how to respond to the boy.

"I'm not sure. Simeon might know more, but for now, we just have to wait. In the meantime, do you wanna play some more of the games?" Mc hoped to take his mind of the ordeal.

"I don't really feel like it, sorry." He sighed, worried. He had always had concerns about Mc living with demons and them seemed to be coming to fruition.

"That's alright. Do you want to watching something maybe? Simeon made cookies that are cooling in the kitchen, right? We can get those." Mc tried again to get him in better spirits.

"Let's wait for Simeon and Solomon to get back. They might be worried if they return and we're gone." Luke admitted.

"Good point. I'll turn on a movie for now. What do you want to watch?" Mc got up, leaving Luke in their spot.

"Anything." He usually had more to say. Mc could tell Luke was very worried.

"Alright." Mc went through the various dvds Solomon had stored away near the tv. After finding one they liked, they put it on. The two of them watched this movie together since there was nothing better to do. Eventually, Simeon and Solomon returned with said cookies. Rather than sit on the free couch, they all sat together. They could all tell Luke was worried. The desserts remained untouched.

"I have a surprise that I think you'll like, Luke." Solomon spoke up. Luke picked up his head. "I was told that Mc could stay the night, so we can have a big sleepover together. Does that sound good?" Luke perked up.

"Oh, good. That sounds great! I don't want to send Mc back to those icky demons. Where are we sleeping?" Luke sounded excited, making the rest of the room smile.

“We can stay in my room.” Solomon watched as the little angel jumped out of the cuddle pile and ran to gather pillows and blankets.

“It’s nice to see him happy again. I honestly think he might be more concerned than me.” Mc sighed, reaching for a cookie.

“If we knew what was wrong, we would tell you. I just know Satan asked me to place a blessing on the house.” Simeon explains.

"I figured. It's fine. We just need to hope for the best..." Mc stares at the cookie, thinking about Satan and what he might be doing right now. They just hoped he was safe.

ty for putting up with me and not putting out anything for so long... and sorry for the cliffhanger lol. really wanted this out but a. not sure how much longer it will take and b. not sure what I want the ending to be yet! lol

part two soon hopefully sorry to anon for taking so long!!!!

568 notes · View notes

uplatterme · 1 year

Text

Through Each Other

cw: sub!dottore, younger segment!dottore, virgin!dottore, dom!reader, reader has a cock, cumming untouched, cum eating, stomach bulge, dacryphilia, overstimulation

summary: once dottore told you that he could somehow feel everything his segments go through, you decided to take things the dottore way and do a little experimenting.

a/n: takes place before current plotline cause y'know, there are like no segments left that we know of. currently on a huge dottore brainrot so feel free to share any headcanons with me

Despite the rumors surrounding him, no one really knew Dottore like the way you did. After all, they never got the experience of having Dottore fall for them. They never knew how the doctor would turn beet red if you got closer to him without warning or the way he would whine as you trailed kisses from his neck down to his chest.

But perhaps one of the rarest things about Dottore that you doubted anyone knew at all where certain pieces of information regarding his segments

It was just a hypothesis of yours, of course. You never knew if it would work exactly as you intended.

Still, there was nothing to lose if you experimented just this once.

So you found yourself in Sumeru, not used to the high temperature since you mostly frequented Snezhnaya.

“You? What the hell are you doing here?” Dottore snapped, frantically waving his hands as he told you to get out of him even if you kept ignoring him as you took a look at his surroundings.

The man who was in front of you was Dottore, but not your Dottore. This segment was one of his earliest, he looked young and his brash personality was something you’d heard of only from Pierro when Dottore was first recruited.

You took in the difference between the two. While your Dottore was a wreck for you who would do anything for your praises, this one seemed like he needed to be tamed first.

“Listen, I know you and him have a thing going on but don’t involve me in your shit.”

You hummed, once again ignoring everything he was saying.

“You know I haven’t seen Dottore recently, he’s been out on a mission and I’ve been, oh so lonely.” You told him, sitting on his couch without his permission.

“So? I’m not him, remember? Why’d he attach himself to someone as dumb as you?” He said, continuing to sputter insults about how you were interrupting his work.

“Hey, do you know why your creator treats me as if I’m the center of his world?” You asked.

“No, and I don’t give a shit so just shut your mouth and get out of here.”

You laughed at his antics. The difference between his personality and your Dottore was fascinating. You couldn’t help but find it cute how he continued to berate you without actually being able to do anything since he knew about the connection between you and his creator. Smart, just like any other of his clones.

“How about you? What do you think about me?” You questioned him, leaving him stunned for answers as he tried to sneakily eye you up and down. There was a slight blush on his cheeks when he saw that you caught him staring.

“Annoying, obviously.” He answered boldly.

You wondered what your Dottore would do if he saw how rudely you were being treated right now, by one of his creations too.

“Let’s just cut to the chase.” You started, standing up and stepping towards him. “You see, Dottore told me something about him, or you segments specifically.”

He scrunched up his nose, not sure if there was something that he hadn’t been told. His face looked adorable, and while his personality was a little bit off-putting, his mannerisms were the same. The way he put his finger on his chin while he thought deeply, You felt a sense of deja vu.

“Has something strange been happening to you these past few months?” You asked.

“Hah?”

You chuckled. “What I mean is, has there ever been a time when you felt an out-of-body experience?”

Dottore stilled, biting his tongue before spitting out, “No? What the hell are you talking about?”

You observed the way his expressions changed as if his thoughts seemed to explode in his head. He was obviously lying, which you understood since he didn’t know you all that well.

“I think you’re forgetting something sweetheart, I know everything there is to know about you even if this is the first time I’m meeting you.” You stated.

“Lying is futile. So, are you going to admit it or do I have to force it out your throat?” Your words contrasted your face, you were smiling and yet Dottore knew that you weren’t joking. If he even made a small wrong move, there was no doubt that there would be consequences.

The normal reaction was to feel scared. That was why Dottore didn’t get it as he stood in front of you. Why was his heart beating this fast?

“Tch, get out of my place–”

The scientist gasped as he felt his back smashed against the wall. You were stronger than he anticipated. There was no way you’d actually get rid of him, right?

Did Dottore trust you that much to the point he’d allow something like this? Even if he knew that he would feel it himself?

Your hand gripped his shoulder tightly to the point he was sure that it would bruise. What’s worse was the fact that you were still smiling during the whole ordeal.

“Fuck… Go ahead then, you piece of shit.” He taunted, grinning.

He was testing you, seeing if you would take the bait. You sighed, spending all your time with Dottore has made it so predictable on what the person in front of you would do.

“You’re not going to be able to stab me, if that’s what you’re thinking.” You said.

Dottore’s face turned from scheming to pure despair. There was no way out,

“I’m not going to kill you,” You scratched your head, “You may be another Dottore but you all just like forming the worst conclusions, huh?”

“Then, why did you do that?” Dottore was confused, his back had left a mark on the wall and you’re saying that you did that just because? He was sure that you were lying.

“Ah, I just wanted to see how you’d react. You were stepping out of line. Dottore wouldn’t even swear at me, but here you are!” You smiled as you said that, striking a nerve from the scientist.

“I’m not meaning to offend you. It’s just that…you’re so fascinating.”

Dottore swallowed, feeling his pounding chest that was triggered by only your words. It was strange, so strange to the point that he wanted to rip it out.

“Yes,” He finally admitted, despite the shaking in his voice. “There had been times where I felt things, it started happening a year ago.”

You clasped your hands together in glee. “I knew my hypothesis was right!”

“Your hypothesis?”

“Dottore told me a few months ago about how if one of his segments were to be killed without his permission, he would feel it. So, I wondered. Would it be possible for him to feel other things?” You explained.

Dottore finished your thoughts for you. “The reason why you’re here…is to see if your suspicions were right.”

“Exactly. Are you going to help me out, sweetheart?”

Being stuck in this mission had Dottore hungry for you. It’s actually incredible how you’ve made him this way.

“Uh, sir? They’re moving east.” One of his underlings said before quickly escaping his room as fast as he could.

It was all calm and quiet until there’s a sudden pull on his shoulder. He cursed, wondering what it would be this time. Dottore unbuttoned his top to reveal a marking, one’s hand that he knew fairly well.

Dottore chuckled so loud to the point that people from the other rooms heard it. Not that it mattered, since they were used to his eccentricness and were far too scared to do anything about it either way.

“Oh, you’ve outdone yourself.” He said to himself.

He could feel your hands feeling him up, touching his chest even if you weren’t there. The fact that you were doing this with someone else honestly pissed him off but he would be lying if he wasn’t enjoying this new experience.

His back arched on his chair as he felt his cock being touched. He bit his own lip, blood dripping onto the floor.

All he could do was stay there, to enjoy the sensations that he was feeling since he was unable to stop it.

“Hnn!--ah, fuck!” He moaned, he could sense your finger going up his walls but to have nothing actually there as he clenched had him whining desperately alone.

He wanted you, god. He needed you inside him so badly.

Dottore shivered, his own cock starting to leak precum. His vision was starting to blur, his breath making the room feel twice as hot.

And as he could feel another finger slip in, he heard a knock on his door. He had to physically hold himself in surprise, his thighs quivering by the pleasure.

“I don’t care what information you have right now. If you don’t leave in three seconds, I will kill you.” He ordered, before hearing the rushing of footsteps from the outside.

Dottore whimpered, moaning your name continuously. The way he had no idea what you were going to do next brought a new sense of thrill that he wanted more of. But despite his begging, he knew that it was all useless since you wouldn’t be able to hear the wonderful noises he was making right now.

He refused to touch himself despite the desperation. If he was going to cum like this, then he wanted it to happen because of you.

“Hah–Mhm! I need you.” He stuttered.

“Hmph!” Dottore suddenly squirted out some of his cum when he felt a spank on his ass. Whichever it was that was currently experiencing this first-hand, he was going to get rid of him when he got home.

He stared at his own release on the floor, too enamored from the pleasure that’s going on in his head. He imagined what you would have said if you were here right now. “R-Right–I-I need to lick it clean.”

Dottore mewled when he felt himself nearing his climax. His cock was starting to ache and you still haven’t penetrated him.

You were currently stroking his cock, your nails tracing his veins. His head launched backward, he couldn’t hold it any longer.

“Fuck! I can’t–Hah!” Dottore yelped as he finally felt your cock inside him, his nipples hard from the intense pleasure.

It had him writhing on the floor, forced to take your pounding even if you weren’t there. He choked on his sobs, cumming all over the floor.

He was finished, but you didn’t know that. He felt you continue to stimulate his prostate even if he’d already been milked dry, Dottore gasped for air, holding onto the carpet as he laid down on the floor, wanting you to stop from being too overstimulated already.

He screamed for your name, unable to think of anything but you. He could imagine your face, your smile, and your warmth as he held on.

Dottore trembled as he had cum dry, his legs trembling and waiting if you were going to go for another round. His heart thumped in anticipation as he admired the hickeys you’ve decorated him with that he didn’t even notice were there.

“There’s no fucking way I’m doing that.” Dottore argued, his face as red as a tomato.

“You don’t even have to do anything, all you have to do is lay down like a good boy.” If it were even possible, he became even more flustered from the nickname.

“I thought when you meant experimenting, you were going to cut me up or something. Not–not this!”

“Knife Play, huh? Sure, we could do that next time, if you want.” You grinned, knowing that wasn’t what he was implying.

“You’re fucking crazy. If you want to have sex then I’ll be on top.” He said proudly, pointing at himself.

You tried your best not to burst out laughing, although it didn’t last long.

“Sweetheart, please. You’re making me tear up from laughing.”

You grabbed his arm, pulling him towards you. You pushed him down the couch, your face just above his.

There’s a lingering thought in Dottore which wanted you to kiss him.

You unzipped his pants, ready to face more complaints but Dottore faced you away instead, his face being covered by the back of his hand.

You gently touch his cock, he was new to this so it was better to be cautious and make sure this night was one that he would never forget. “Keep your legs down, Dottore.”

He whined in his hand as he let you stroke him, his cock twitching. It was much smaller than Dottore’s but you didn’t mind it. You liked to think it suited his big personality.

“Mmph–”

You took the slick coming out of his hole, coating your fingers with it. “W-What do you need that for?”

“To think you’d act like this with the way you insulted me earlier.” You said.

You slipped a finger inside his already gaping hole, which looked like it was lubricated before you even came here.

“You don’t need to lie to me, Dottore. And I‘ll make sure you’ll never need to.”

Dottore covered his face again which made you giggle. “I don’t think I’ve ever even seen my Dottore blush this much, I see you’re bringing something new to the table.”

His back instinctively arched as you played with his walls, his tiny cock starting to leak some of his seed. It was a cute and adorable view you’d never forget.

You slipped in another finger.

“Wah-Wait!” He moaned, legs shaking from underneath yours. Dottore sniffed, crying while also moaning at the same time.

“Is it good?”

He nodded.

You lightly smacked the side of his ass and some of his cum splattered onto the couch. “Answer me, sweetheart.”

“Y-Yes…It’s ahn–good.” He admitted, tears all over his cheeks.

“I see, we’ll move on then.”

Dottore protested. “I-I won’t be able to handle it…”

“You’ll be fine. Just trust me on this, okay?” You reassured him with a quick peck on the cheek.

His mouth was left wide open as you penetrated his insides. You started off slowly, thrusting into him at a slow pace but making sure to fill him up, your cock showing through his stomach. Dottore’s teeth were gritting through one another, unsure of how he was able to take your size.

Eventually, you quicken your pace. This had Dottore whimpering sweet noises in your ear, continuing to sob with pleasure. You trailed down kisses on his chest as you thrust into him, making sure you hit his prostate each time.

Dottore shook his head, which caught your attention.

“What’s wrong?” You questioned.

“I-It’s coming out–ah!’

“Let it happen. Show me the face you’ll make.”

Dottore came with his eyes rolled, his cum splattering on the both of you as his cock lay flat. You finished on his stomach, your cum all over his lower half. He tried to sit up, only to fail, needing your assistance.

“Don’t overdo it.” You warned.

“W-What about Him?” He asked.

“Hm?”

“Won’t he get mad?”

You laughed. “He will,”

You saw the horrified look on his face when you answered. “It’ll be fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry. Besides, he knows.”

“He knew you were going to do this?”

“Ah, no, not that part. Just lay down on me, he’ll be here in a few.” You grinned, knowing he’d be here any minute.

#plattered writings #sub genshin #sub genshin impact #dom reader #sub dottore #dottore x reader #sub!dottore #genshin impact x reader

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oneofthetorturedpoets · 29 days

Text

505

based on 505 by the arctic monkeys.

(not proofread)

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

you walk down a darkened street, only thing to light up the sidewalk you walked on, is one flickering street light. you look to your left, across the road.

how'd you end up here? out of all places, what lead to here? you knew what it was. it was your thoughts. too busy thinking too notice were your mind was taking you.

you turn to look both ways before running across the street. you look up at the opened sign before opening the door. the classic ding, ringing in your ear.

"you need a room?" the man at the desks asks as he sits up.

"uh yeah... for the week" you step closer to the counter.

"any specific floor?"

"yeah actually, do you have room 505 open?" he clicks around on his computer, you tap your foot, impatiently.

"we do, can I get your name and your payment?" you dig in your front pocket for your wallet.

"y/n y/ln" you toss your cash on the counter. he inputs your info into the computer before taking the cash.

"alright, you're all set, here's your room key and the wifi password. enjoy your stay."

you walk down the parking lot, like deja-vu, you look up to see '505' printed on the door. you insert the key, opening the door. the smell of the room bringing you back to your thoughts from earlier. you look towards the bed and could almost see Natasha laying there on her side. you blink and the image is gone. you should've known she was going to haunt you.

"here's the key, our room is 505. i'll grab the bags" Natasha says before jogging to the stolen car. you sigh before walking down the parking lot, reading each door as you pass. you find the room and open the door just as she's shutting the car door. you hold the door open for her as she slips in, dropping your bags to the floor.

"it's nice" you try, she nods shortly.

"yeah, hopefully we don't get bored of it." she walks over to the bathroom area, taking off her jacket at the same time. you follow, grabbing the jacket before she tosses it to the floor. she smiles shyly at you. you look down at her blood-stained white tank top. she goes to pull it off but flinches. you urgently step forward.

"let me, nat" you lead her arms through the holes and slowly pull it over her head, revealing the dirty gauze on her side. you reach for it, pulling it off as gently as you could. "it looks infected." you comment. you lead her into the small toilet area and push her to sit down on the lid. you grab the motel towel and get it damp before starting to clean her wound. you try to ignore her staring.

"you think they followed us?" you shake your head.

"no, I saw them crash."

"how long do we have to stay here?" nat questions as she paces back and forth, her phone close to her ear. "are you serious? what about food and the payment for the motel?" she sighs "alright, ill talk to you soon, bye" she throws her phone on the bed, she sits by it.

"how long are we staying?" you lean on her, she lightly rubs your head.

"5-7 months."

"as long as its with you" she smiles tiredly.

you lay facing Natasha as she sleeps, trying to memorize every detail of her face. its been two months into your hideout, you've fallen for her. you both had no other choice but to get to know each other, going from strictly co-workers to something that has to be more than friends, you're not sure.

Natasha begins to stir, knocking you out of your thoughts, she opens her eyes, smiling she meets your stare.

"goodmoring, detka." she mumbles, before stretching out her arms. she goes to get up but you pull her back down. she inches away, close enough to kiss. her eyes flash to your lips, back up to your eyes. she leans in, laying her lips on yours. you lean into her, putting as much passion you could into the kiss. she melts into, kissing back harder. she climbs on top of me, one hand on my check, they other on my waist. she lightly pulls my hair, then pulls away.

“i’ve been wanting to do that for so long” she laughs as she talks.

“so have i” she just stares at you for a while, running her hand along your check, laying kisses on your neck.

weeks after your first kiss, you were confused by the situation. you guys didn’t mention the kiss, it was like it never happened.

Natasha sits at the desk, typing on her computer. you watch as she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, focusing on what she was writing.

"Natasha" you call out, she doesn't respond. "nat" she peaks over her shoulder. "can we talk?" she nods and closes her laptop. you watch her walk over to you, sitting next to you.

"what's wrong, baby?" you turn to face her.

"what are we?" her eyebrows pinch in confusion.

"what do you mean?" you shake your head.

"you know what I mean, nat... you kissed me and its like you forgot about it. I just want to know if it meant something to you." she grabs your hands, gently squeezing them.

"it did mean something, im sorry for not clarifying my feelings for you. I've been in love with you since the start of this mission, I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else. If you would take me, I want to be yours." you can't help the smile that spreads on your face.

now five months into your mission, Natasha is getting antsy.

"I don't think I can be in this room any longer, I feel like I don't have any space away from you." Natasha said exasperatedly.

you knew what she was saying because you felt it too. every time you too disagreed, there was no where for you to cool down. you both felt trapped. "Natasha-"

she interrupts your sentence. "shut up. I can't stand to hear you talk. just- let me use you for tonight." she walks up to you, pulling you into an mind-breaking kiss.

that's how most of your nights ended. her using you for her own pleasure. not that you minded, necessarily.

"you two are good to leave, please make your way back to the compound as soon as possible." both you and Natasha sigh in relief.

after you two pack up the little things that you had, Natasha grabs both of your hands. "I promise to be better to you when we are out of here. I know I haven't been what you deserve but when we are able to have our own normal lives, things will get better."

you smiled gently at her. "I know, my love." you kiss her, trying to show that you forgive everything.

"I just need space for a few more days, baby. I swear it's nothing you did, it's just- the whole hotel and all of the time we spent together nonstop, I just want to have a few nights for myself to recuperate." Natasha said as she shut the door to her room.

you two went from spending every waking second together to only seeing each other passing in the hallway. it didn't feel like you two were a couple anymore. you couldn't even remember the last time you two had kissed. it felt like 5 months you two were dating, didn't mean anything to her.

you show up at her room door, you knock a few times. "Natasha, it's me. we need to talk." the door slowly swings open, revealing Natasha in a white robe, looking as beautiful as ever. her curled red hair laying just below her shoulders, her green eyes holding your world. this is going to hurt worse than you thought.

"hey, y/n. come in." she moved over, creating space for you to walk past her. when you did, her perfume took over your senses. "is everything okay?"

you shook your head. "no, nothing is okay. why do I feel like I'm losing you? I mean I get that the months we had in the hotel were rough, I felt it too, but why does it feel like you don't even want to try to have a normal relationship? it feels like we're back to were we started." Natasha grabs your hand.

"i'm so sorry I'm hurting you, y/n. I just- I don't think I can do the whole relationship thing. the time we shared together was amazing but I think I realized I can't do it. commitment scares me and I don't want to do anything to hurt you more." with every word she says, it feels like your heart is being ripped from your chest.

after the break up, the team took Natasha's side. you had obviously expected that, they were closer to her than they were to you. what you never expected was the way they treated you.

every time you entered the kitchen and they were there, you got at least one dirty look, almost as if you did something wrong. Tony took everything he has given you away, including your dresser, night stand and bed frame. Steve has gone ten times hard on you during your sparing sessions. Bruce has refused to fix the hole in your suit, causing many malfunctions during battle. Clint has outright cussed you out, yelling at you for 'hurting' Natasha. Thor was the only one who was nice enough to ignore you.

you weren't sure what hurt you the most, the fact that none of them ever asked what happened, they just assumed you hurt Natasha and deserved to be punished or the fact that Natasha never corrected them.

it's now been a year since Natasha broke it off with you and you're still haunted of her. as you sit in the same hotel room that changed your life. since the break up, you have since quit the avengers, you felt more like a prisoner than a friend to all of them. you have been on the run from them for a few months now, since they declared you a fugitive.

you're not sure why you're back here. you thought you had moved on from Natasha. the whole in your heart half way patched up. as you sit in the old chair that was sat in the corner of the room, you stare out the window, watching as the rain starts to pick up. you see a figure just outside, in the middle of the parking lot. you slowly stand up, peeking out of the blinds as you watch it walk forwards. as it inches closer, you recognize her curves, the same ones you spent every night studying. you open your door, the wind slightly catching you off guard. Natasha finally close enough for you to see her face.

"what are you doing here?" Natasha says, you scoff.

shaking your head. "I could ask you the same thing... how did you find me?"

she chuckled. "I didn't mean to. I think we are here for the same reason. I'm running from the law now too." hearing her voice hurt more than you thought it would. "do you mind if I stay with you? I don't have any more money for a room, I figured id just break into one and stay for a night... but if you don't mind, I think it would be easier?"

you contemplate for a minute, your gut is telling you not to let her in, but you do anyways, slowly moving over for her to come in. she walks in, sighing at the warmth. she takes her jacket off, about to throw it on the floor but you take it from her before she can. the deja-vu making your stomach turn. she smiles at you, innocently.

"you know... I've missed you. I really have. when I found out you left, I felt like I really lost you." you roll your eyes at her statement.

"you lost me a while ago, Natasha." her eyebrows raise at your hostile tone.

she looks down at her feet, almost nervously. "I know, and I regret that night everyday. I was stupid to let you go."

she steps closer to you, clearly holding herself back from reaching out to you. "Natasha" her name came out more pathetic than you wanted, as you hold back tears.

"detka, I am really sorry for the way that I was. I swear I took this time to reflect on how everything played out and I am embarrassed for how I treated you." you turn around, not wanting her to see you cry. you brought the sleeve of your long sleeved shirt, up to your eyes, trying to stop your tears from falling. Natasha turned you back around, gently grabbing your hands, holding them. "you deserve so much better than how I was... I know I never said it before but I love you. with every inch of me, I love you. you have set my world on fire and I stomped it out because I was scared of how much I loved you. please, let me make it up to you." all of your tears seemed to fall at once as you practically fell into Natashas chest, looking for the comfort you never had.

taglist: @natashamaximoff-69 @allamanamedearl @ricejucie @marvels--slut

to join the taglist, send in an ask!

#fanfic #fem!reader #my fic #wlw fiction #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha x you #black widow #marvel #avengers #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #civil war #captain america civil war

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halaboyz · 4 months

Text

backburner, sunwoo

the boyz sunwoo x gn! reader angst wc: 2k warnings: drinking a/n: ...hello

One, two, three.

You don't know when you started counting, but it felt like it's only been a day.

It's been weeks.

It's been weeks- two, to be specific, when he last messaged you. Not that it matters; you only wanted to know whether he's dead or alive.

Right?

That's how it has always been.

"Can you..." Sua begrudgingly turns your phone facing the table, incoherently swearing, "...please stop looking at your phone?! It's been weeks, for heaven's sake!"

"Sorry." And it's been a waterfall of apologies for your friend. "I'm just worried."

"That's the problem! You're always worried about him, but the fuck does he even do for you?" Sua sighs, getting ready for the hundredth talk about your situationship. "He messages you when it's convenient for him. Meanwhile you, you're ready to drop even the biggest things just for him! Is a screw gone loose in your head?"

"Sua, I know. Believe me... I know. I just... I don't know." You could only sigh back, not having any words to explain the right feeling. But you swore you know, you just don't know how to explain it.

"The fuck are you saying? Hey, look. I'm sorry for the choice of words but... aren't you a bit sorry for yourself? One, you missed a project deadline because he wanted you to pick him up from a bar because he was dead drunk, what is he, a kid? Two, you missed four plates from, let me emphasize, one subject- a major one that is! Just because he was crying and only wanted you to have to talk some sense to him, about another person! And three, and I hope it is the last, you managed to fail a minor subject because you didn't get to pass the only activity you've been nonstop doing for weeks, just because when the day of the deadline hit, your Sunwoo was borderline dead because of his flu. Again, what is he, a kid?!"

Sua was indeed fuming. Besides the fact that she just rambled, she was red in anger. Yet you stayed quiet because... she was right.

Nothing she said was wrong, everything she said was on point.

Yet why... why does it feel like you can and will do it all over again, when it came to Sunwoo?

While you calmed her down with a stroke in the hand, mumbling continuous apologies, you bring her a glass of water and assist her to the bed.

"I get it, I get it. Come on, it's our pajama night in months, let's just not talk about it." You coo, trying to get her back to her good mood.

Well, not until your phone vibrated.

You jumped off the bed in a flash, checking your phone.

sw: asjkdlalkklj

The single message was all it took before you rang his phone, took your coat and wore your running shoes, shouting an apology to your friend and getting your keys in an instant.

"Hello?" An unfamiliar voice picks the phone up, "This is the bar's manager. We've only got to open his phone right now, but it has been an hour since we've been trying to get mister to go home. We're letting this off the hook since he's a regular." The manager doesn't even give you a second before he drops the bar's details, and hanging up the phone.

You sigh, starting your car's engines and chuckling when you see Sua peeking out of your window and throwing you a middle finger, before you drove off.

You immediately, shamefully bow your head to apologize at the staff while you scram your way to Sunwoo, who had his head down at the counter and lips smacking continuously as if still savoring the bitter taste of the alcohol he had just been drinking.

You sigh, it all felt like deja vu.

"Sunwoo." You shake his shoulders, careful not too much in case he vomits on your car like the first time. "Come on, I'll get you home. I just need you to wake up for a minute."

"No!" He swats your hand away with his eyes closed, facing the other way. "Not going... until y/n's here..."

You sigh again. You thought, is it even going to be the same person you're finding when you're sober?

Swallowing the lump on your throat, you ease up a smile and lower your back to his level.

"I'm here. It's y/n." You pat his back and he gets his one eye open to peek at you. He inevitably bursts into the biggest smile and jumps at you.

"It's y/n! y/n is here!" He sing-sang and you finally get ahold of him, bowing once again for the man as you assist him back to your car. "I missed you."

Sure he did. When he's drunk.

"Sunwoo, here, drink some water first." You hand him a newly opened bottle of water, tugging on his jacket as he tightly hugs the seatbelt.

"I don't want to," He whines, keeping his arms away from you.

"Please?" With a coo, Sunwoo finally takes the bottle and gulps it at once, giving you the empty bottle back as he succumbs to the warmth of your carseat.

You sigh. Again. The things you're willing to do for a man who only needs you.

Sunwoo stirs on his sit, eyes squinting everywhere.

"Sober?" You put your phone back to your pocket after writing Sua a long paragraph apologizing.

"Oh, y/n." He giggles, moving in his seat to face you. "Hi."

"Can I drive now? I don't want you vomiting all over the place because of your motion sickness."

"How long have you been waiting?" You hand him another bottle of water, finally starting the engine.

"Almost an hour."

"That long? I'm sorry," Sunwoo coos, reaching for your resting arm. He caresses it sweetly and you don't give an effort to avoid it. "How's my y/n been doing?"

"Bad. I've been missing you." You reply with no hesitation, eyes not leaving the road. You've always been this honest with him, it wasn't something new you spoke your feelings.

"Oh. Sorry about that. Just busy," Sunwoo gives you a small smile, retracting his warm hand. It didn't make sense that every time Sunwoo made an excuse of ghosting you, you still believe him.

Why?

Because the moment he gets drunk, he thinks of you.

At least, he thinks of you.

"Can I stay at yours for the night? I don't feel like staying alone tonight." Sunwoo changes the topic while you stop at a red light, raising your brows at him. "Please?" His playful whine makes you chuckle, giving in.

Times like this he didn't need to give you an explanation.

No- actually, if it came to Sunwoo, you didn't need anything. Explanation, excuses, reasons, anything. If it was Sunwoo, you'd drop everything for him.

Because who were you kidding? This is Sunwoo we're talking about.

"Hey, we're here." You shake his shoulder lightly after turning the engine off, smiling at him. "Can you walk?"

"Of course, you're talking to Sunwoo." He chuckles, removing the seatbelt.

He can't. He was too drowsy to eve take a step out. So you had to assist him by the arm until you're inside the flat, making him lay on the bed.

You prepare a warm water and a towel to wipe Sunwoo's face when you notice a note stuck by the magnet on the refrigerator, written by your lovely friend.

Next time I see you get ready for an ice cold bath from yours truly, in hopes of trying to get you in touch with reality.

PS: schedule another pajama night or you're dead !!!

You chuckle as you hide the note behind another bigger note, getting what you came for in the kitchen and another glass of water and his medicine to take when he wakes up.

You gently place the warm-wet towel on his forehead, waiting for any reaction to get nothing so you continue to wipe his face, and next his hands.

When you were done, getting up from beside him, you felt him swiftly tug your middle finger.

"You're going to sleep beside me, right?"

"Huh?" Sunwoo's eyes open for a second and close again, as if only to confirm it was you beside him.

"Your curtain's scary. Please sleep beside me. The couch is uncomfortable to sleep on, too."

"I sleep there all the time, Sunwoo. It's fine,"

"Not you. Me. You're not letting me sleep there, and I'm not letting you sleep there. So let's stay here together." Sunwoo's nonchalance is breaking you to pieces.

If it wasn't the nth time did this to you, you yourself know that if it was the past you, you would be feeling all over the place and giddy, above all that.

But no. This time around, it was breaking you to pieces.

Because this time, realizations come to mind.

Like how it wasn't all a big deal for him. This. All of this. Like it was all normal between... friends. Or are you even friends? Borderline lovers?

Whatever you two are- it was clear. He didn't feel the same way you do. He doesn't look at you the same way you do.

"Okay." But you're fine with it. "I will." You will always be fine with it.

And that's the problem with you.

When it came to Sunwoo, you will always fold.

"Okay. Let me get some sleep first okay? Make sure you come sleep beside me!" He giddily makes himself comfortable inside the blanket, going to dreamland with a smile.

Leaving you with a forced one.

You only sigh as you clean yourself up, washing your face with cold water and looking at yourself in the mirror. "You're pathetic." You whisper, feeling disappointed of yourself.

The people around you took good care of you fondly up until now, and you let yourself be pathetic over one guy who only contacts you when it's convenient for him? You remember Sua's words perfectly, because that's where it hit home.

You grew up with so much love and care, yet you fail to see your worth over one guy.

You heave another heavy sigh, opening your eyes to trace Sunwoo's facial features with your eyes.

"How come it had to be you?" You whisper, stopping your tears before it even dropped.

And just like that, the night continued.

Sunwoo wakes up at around 6 in the morning because of his phone continuously vibrating inside his jacket, grabbing it with his free hand to take the call.

Before he answers, he takes a good look at you and chucked. Sunwoo ended up hogging the whole blanket (you rather gave everything to him) so you were snuggling beside him, making his other arm your personal pillow.

He carefully places you down to the pillow and covers you with a blanket, letting the ring end and going outside the bedroom to call back.

After the phone call, he sneaks back in the bedroom to see you soundly sleeping, taking his things and leaving a note on your bedside table.

He takes a while as he stares at you, giving you a small smile.

He knows what he's done, what he's been doing- yet he can't stop. He loves the thrill, he loves the feeling that someone is willing to do everything for him. That's it.

But that doesn't mean he didn't feel sorry for you, for what he has been doing with you. And it doesn't mean he doesn't feel sorry that he can't return your feelings.

He knows, of course. Only a rock wouldn't know how you felt towards him.

"I'm sorry this time too, y/n." He caresses your cheeks before leaving, making sure to lock your door.

After a few minutes, you sniff your tears away right in the morning.

"Sorry, huh." You chuckle bittersweetly, looking at the note he left for you.

I'm going out with Chanyi today, she asked me to breakfast! Thank you y/n, sorry I had to leave early, you were sleeping cutely~

I'll contact you!

And with that, your getaway was done.

Your bed was left empty, your apartment empty,

and you, empty.

But you knew you'd do it all over again.

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myfairkatiecat · 1 month

Text

KOTLC Songs

(ft. a lot of Olivia Rodrigo, but there are some other artists)

@iggydancebreak since you mentioned living these sorts of things!

(Feel free to add onto the list)

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS! Fitz’s Olivia Rodrigo breakup music with Sophie!

Traitor (“you talked to her when we were together” and “guess you didn’t cheat but you’re still a traitor” and “remember I brought her up and you told me I was paranoid” and “I wish you would have thought this through before I went and fell in love with you”

Happier (“I hope you’re happy but not like how you were with me, I’m selfish I know, I can’t let you go, so find someone great but don’t find no one better, I hope you’re happy but don’t be happier” tell me that’s not his reaction to Sophie and Keefe)

Drivers License (“and you’re probably with that blonde guy who always made me doubt”)

Deja Vu (different lyrics but basically about how Keefe gives her gifts and chats with Sophie telepathically but that was Fitz and Sophie’s thing first)

OK NOW THAT FITZ HAS GOTTEN TO SING HIS ANGSTY BREAKUP MUSIC

Next up, Keefe Sencen’s complicated everything feelings!!

You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift (specifically in the early books!!) (“can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you, been here all along so why can’t you see, you belong with me” also that song talks all about being with that person who is perfect on paper but isn’t the right person)

That’s what makes you beautiful by One Direction is just objectively a Sokeefe song! (“You’re insecure, don’t know what for, you’re turning heads when you walk through the door” and “Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you” and “you don’t know you’re beautiful, that’s what makes you beautiful”)

Enough for You by Olivia Rodrigo is Keefe to his parents, all you have to do is change the early lyrics about dating !! (“You say I’m never satisfied but I don’t think that’s true, you say I’m never satisfied but that’s not me it’s you, cause all I ever wanted was to be enough, but I don’t think anything could ever be enough, for you”)

The Grudge by Olivia Rodrigo is Keefe singing to his mother (“the trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers, you took everything I loved and crushed it in between youre fingers” and “I hear your voice every time that I think I’m not enough” and “I try to be tough but I want to scream how could anybody do the things you did so easily” and “I say that I’m fine, but you know I can’t let it go, I’ve tried I’ve tried I’ve tried” and “I try to understand how you could do this all to me” and “I know in my heart hurt people hurt people, we both drew blood, but man those cuts were never equal” and “do you think I deserved it all, your flowers filled with vitriol”) just ahdkfhskahddk

ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID!!! I cannot stress how KEEFE this song is. But specifically the bridge: “mother looking at me, tell me what do you see? Yes I’ve lost my mind… daddy looking at me, will I ever be free? Have I crossed the line? All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head, running through my head…” especially with “have I crossed the line” being the betrayal and “all the things she said” being his mother talking about Keefe’s legacy, embracing the change……… IT’S HIM.

Family Line by Conan Gray I have already mentioned before, but just. “All that I did to try to undo it, all of my pain and all youre excuses, I was a kid but I wasn’t clueless, someone who loves you wouldn’t do this” I’m gonna cry it’s him and I’m gonna cry

And now onto random Olivia Rodrigo songs that make me think of kotlc!

Lacy is Stina singing about Sophie. (“Lacy oh lacy, skin like puff pastry, aren’t you the sweetest thing on this side of hell. Lacy oh lacy, eyes wide as daisies, did I ever tell you that I’m not doing well” and “I care I care I care” and “you’ve got the one thing that I want” “aren’t you the greatest thing to ever exist” and “Lacy oh lacy, it’s like you’re out to get me, you poison every little thing that I do”) IS THAT NOT PROVIDING SO MUCH PERSPECTIVE. IS THAT NOT HOW STINA FEELS

Can’t Catch me Now is Jolie haunting Brant. (“There’s blood on the side of the mountain, there’s writing all over the wall, shadows of us are still dancing, in every room in every hall” and “all of the messes you made, yeah you think that you got away” and “I’m in the trees, I’m in the breeze, my footsteps on the ground, you’ll see my face in every place, but you can’t catch me now” and “you think I’m gone cause I left” and “you can’t, you can’t catch me now, I’m coming like a storm into your town, you can’t, you can’t catch me now, I’m higher than the hopes that you brought down” and “sometimes the fire you founded don’t burn the way you you’d expect, oh you thought that this was the end”) SCREAMING CRYING IS THAT NOT RUEDACTED IN A SONG

I WANT TO HEAR EVERYBODY’S THOUGHTS

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #olivia rodrigo #taylor swift #conan gray #stina heks #sophie foster #keefe sencen #fitz vacker #jolie ruewen #kotlc brant #ruedacted #Sokeefe #Sophitz

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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 24 days

Text

Bonded Pair (Pt.2) - OCxGhost Backstory.

|| [<- Part One] || [Part Three ->] ||

pairing: COD OC!Victoria "Whiskey" Callahan x Simon "Ghost" Riley words: 0.9K~ cw: canon Ghost backstory (torture, injuries), OC backstory (injury)

Soap got airlifted out in the middle of the night, after having walked a few miles in pitch darkness until the exfil location.

And although Ghost didn't hear it, he knows Laswell reamed out Whiskey for sending Soap packing.

Without Soap around, however, it meant they could get better sleeping shifts working.

As she woke up at 0200 on Day 5, she turned on her PTT. “I'm up…” She announced while rubbing her eyes.

Ghost had had nothing but time to think while she slept.

When she wasn't dealing with Soap, Whiskey seemed like a good soldier. Smart, observant, professional, her head was always cool, her words calm and collected.

She was a strange one. He got some type of feeling of deja vu as they worked. Like looking in a mirror.

He had even called out to Laswell and asked for a bit more info on her, when, normally, he never would for anyone else.

“Morning, Sleepin’ Beauty.” He greeted.

“It's not morning yet. And don't call me Sleeping Beauty, or else I'll call you Grim Reaper.” She replied. Her voice was a bit raspy now that she had just woken up.

“It's morning enough…” Ghost retorted. He moved his binoculars in the direction of her camp, noticing her moving about in the dark through the night vision settings.

“Any movement?”

“Neg. Been peaceful.”

“Okay… Well, let me know when you want to sleep.”

“Rog.” There was a pause. Then, Ghost spoke again. “You seem much more relaxed without Soap here.”

“I'm not a talker.”

“I've noticed.”

“You aren't either.”

“No, I'm not.”

“Then, this will make this mission easier. We can just stay quiet for the next two and a half weeks.”

“That we can.”

Day 5: 1800

Other than what they had to, to do their jobs, they stayed true to their word. They didn't speak again…

For a total of 12 hours.

But then there was some type of… itch in Simon. He wanted to talk. He wanted to hear her.

“So what are you eating?” Ghost found himself asking while his plastic fork stirred his MRE.

“It's a… Mexican-style MRE. Has beans and cheddar cheese or something.” Whiskey replied. “It's the only one I actually don't mind eating. The others are disgusting.”

Through his binoculars, he could see her. And she could see him, if she peeked through hers He wondered if she was looking at him too or still focused on the job.

“You don't eat them for the taste-”

“I know you don't. I'm just saying.”

“Sounds better than mine, though.”

“What’s yours?”

“Some type of pasta thing.”

“Not bad.”

Day 5: 2000

“So, you and Johnny's girl…”

“Yep.”

“How long have you been friends?”

“Five years now.”

“Not bad.”

“That feels like a dig at my social skills.”

“It was. But I'm the same way. No offence.”

“None taken.”

“So, you didn't meet Johnny until now?”

“Nope. But heard plenty about him.”

“So what did he do?”

“Can't tell you.”

Day 6: 1300

“How long have you served?”

“9 years now. You?”

“15.”

“15? How fucking old are you?”

“31.”

“You joined at………. 16?”

“Affirm.”

“Interesting. Didn't know the UK let kids do that.”

“With parental permission.”

“I figured as much.”

“How old are you?”

“28, 29 this year.”

Day 8: 0200

“How was your sleep?”

“Decent.”

“As in… bad?”

“Yup.”

“Good to know.”

“Any changes?”

“None so far.”

“I don't like how quiet it is.”

“Neither do I.”

Day 11: 1200

“How'd you meet Laswell?”

“Being the only female Navy SEAL brings a lot of attention to me. You?”

“My Captain.”

“Right. Price?”

“You met him?”

“Worked with him last year.”

“What’d you think of him?”

“Eh… He was efficient. All in all have worked with less capable officers.”

“Don't trust him?”

“Don't distrust him. But that means nothing to me.”

“Same here.”

“He's your Captain, though.”

“And? People you know can hurt you the most.”

Day 14: 1630

“Where are you from?”

“North of England.”

“More specific?”

“Manchester. You?”

“Tennessee.”

“Explains the accent.”

Day 15: 0930

“Why the Navy?”

“It was either that or the Marines… and didn't get accepted into the Marines.”

“Why not?”

“My father was one. Pulled strings.”

“Trying to protect you?”

“Probably. Either way, I've been swimming since I was a girl. Navy made sense too.”

“I see.”

“Why the Army?”

“It was either that or construction.”

“Ah… not a lot of prospects.”

Day 17: 0045

“Why the mask?”

“Same as you. Bad job, bad people. Don't want to bare it out.”

“Yeah, but a skull? A real one at that?”

“You know it's real?”

“Of course I do.”

“Memory of a past life.”

“I see. Well, it looks terrifying.”

“Thank you. ‘s what I was going for.”

Day 19: 0350

“What's the worse scar I've got? I don't know. Have ‘em all over.”

“Gotta have a particularly nasty one, c'mon.”

“On my ribs, then. Big ugly fucker.”

“That's what I'm talking about. I’ve got a bad scar across the face. But my legs are worse.”

“Your legs?”

“Took a napalm bath.”

“Fuckin’ hell. And I thought mine were bad.”

“Yours?”

“Hung from a meat hook by the ribs.”

“Ouch. Are your organs okay?”

“They are now. Are your legs okay?”

“They are now.”

It was on Day 23, that stuff picked up the pace. The target was suddenly on the move and Ghost's voice rang out through the PTT to wake Whiskey up.

They contacted Watcher, packed up their nests and took off on foot to the helo to trail the HVT and intercept him.

Then, they split ways. Ghost reconvened with TF141 for the next part of the mission, and Whiskey took off to Algeria for her next assignment.

They parted ways with a look, the first of many to come, and a light fist bump.

#about ikea 💚#cod oc #cod fanfic #oc: victoria “whiskey” callahan #ghost x whiskey #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x oc #ghost x oc #oc backstory

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ooshu · 1 year

Text

mark lee / angst prompt requested by @emvrd [see notes below!] 🎧 inspired by out like a light the honeysticks, ricky montgometry

“mark?”

“mmh?” he hummed.

“why’d you have to make it so difficult?”

mark slowly stopped eating his truffle. he put the fork down and grabbed the napkin. he wiped his mouth and reached for the glass. he may have mistaken the sauvignon blanc as water, but sure as hell he drowned it in one go.

“what do you mean?” he asked. you can see he’s pretending to be dumbfounded. you, on the other hand, could no longer pretend to keep up with his games.

“this, mark.” you pointed at the extravagant cuisines sitting in front of you.

all for you, mark thought. only for you.

“why? is it wrong to take an old friend out?” mark titled his chin a bit to the side, almost sounding so condescendingly. “just like old times?”

you stared at him, speechless. you looked straight into his eyes, searching for more answers. but he tears his gaze away, anywhere but at your face.

then mark poured your glass another drink, just the adequate amount. you reached for yours and waited for him to fill his. then much to your surprise, he poured his glass almost to the brim. chuckling, he carefully lifted the glass and took a sip, then a gulp, releasing an “ah!”; ever so satisfied with how the wine plays with his defenses.

silenced filled your table, only the people chatting around are audible in this fancy restaurant. he texted you earlier “the usual?”. and when it took you long enough to respond, he followed up:

unknown | 3:45pm

i’ll be waiting.

please?

and so you showed up where he first took you out on a date, and then the next, and the next appointments that kind of failed because he was not able to confirm the reservation but still, he managed to pull it through by tipping the waiter largely just to be the next person to be sitting on your usual table. now, everything feels like deja vu.

“you know what day it is today?” you broke the painful silence. neither one of you has barely talked during the course of the meal. you felt that both of you were carefully watching each other, on how you would react to this soiree mark had in mind.

and your question abruptly dropped earlier has made mark bite his lips; too careful on his next words until he decided that no longer speaking could do its best for now.

“lost track of time.” he mumbled.

“it’s the fourteenth.”

“really?” mark’s voice pretended to be shocked, but his face say otherwise. he kept twirling his truffle. every movement he makes your leg twitch. you felt nervous, almost suffocating.

you tapped your fingers on the table. mark looked unfazed. you did not notice that the once fully poured glass is now empty. just how much did he drink for only twenty minutes? why were you here? why specifically during this day-

you couldn’t handle it any longer.

so you hurriedly reached for your bag and brought out your wallet. you opened yours and mark saw bills landing at the center of the table. he watched your next move with wide eyes open.

“my share.” you said while standing up from your seat. “thanks for tonight, mark.”

“you…” you almost choked at your words, trying to suppress the tears that were about to fall down. “you take care of yourself for me, please?” you smiled. “i mean it, mark.” a chuckle left your lips. “don’t hurt yourself any longer, okay?”

and just like that, mark watched you leave him for the hundredth time.

you exited the restaurant.

you wait just in front. but fuck, it was fucking freezing.

needless to say the rain griefs with you. and you took it as a sign to cry and let your once whimpers be roaring cries as the thunders sing with you. but nothing could help you from aimlessly calling for cabs, only turned out to be occupied. you bit your fingernails to come back to your senses; you need a little touch to get you back on the ground.

just when you’re slowly going back to reality, you saw the door behind you open, and there he was, a bit stumbling yet standing beside you, staring at the rain that isn’t stopping at any time.

you watched mark open his palm and catch the raindrops with his hand. it lasted for a good couple of seconds. then he asked,

“you showed up.”

you didn’t answer.

“but i knew you weren’t going to show up”, he continued, almost faintly. “and fuck, i desperately hoped you weren’t.”

you were confused.

“then why the fuck did you text me?”

“because i was just going to prove to myself that you weren’t coming back.”

you looked at mark. he was wiping his tears away. “so don’t ask me why i’m the one who’s making it difficult.”

“oh, this is bullshit.” you sneered.

“i know.”

“but i’ll always show up for you, mark.”

“fuck.” mark ran his hand through his now damp hair. “see?!”

you chuckled. you don’t know why you find this amusing. he stared at you, trying to pick up what was going on.

“that’s what you get for fucking it up big time, markie.”

“guess i deserved that.”

“yeah…”

time slipped a little slowly. you enjoyed a familiar warmth standing beside you. it was just like one of those days where the two of you would sit on the porch of his grandmother’s house and just stare at the moon and wish for some little sparks to slip in between your daily mundanes. and while you stare at the rain, painting the entrance of skyscrapers with dampness, mark looked at you intently. he was holding himself back from saying that he still loves you. too early, he realized. and if he had to take these little steps for you to still show up, he would take the bit of demise;

you’re worth the wait and pain, after all.

then finally, a cab stopped for you. the rain slowly starting to die down.

“that’s me.”

you greeted the cab driver and told your whereabouts. but just when you opened the door, you heard mark saying “wait!” from behind.

you turned around, you eyes landed at his, waiting for his next words.

“i’ll see you again, right?” mark asked carefully. his eyes glimmered again with hope, but with so much concern. if he could dig the depths of the world to find answers on how he could take you back, he would. because a part of his will always be yours, even though by the time you’ve already decided to walk away from what he has done and what he will do—just anything to make you his love wholly again.

“i’ll see you again.” he repeated. but this time, with only much firmness. and he’s more than willing to tip off a large sum just to get you back seated on the table you and mark both shared; just like on this gloomy, yet supposed-to-be special day.

and you nodded.

but you were not sure if you did it obviously or if it was just all in your head. nevertheless, you said:

“happy anniversary, markie.”

- thank you, @emvrd, for requesting this! i enjoy writing about lingering old feelings. glad you're in the same department! i hope this is what you're going for. all the love!

prompt/request reveal by @emvrd!

Hello! You probably got tons of request but if you have the time.. please write something about "you're not mine anymore but im still a little bit yours" kinda trope with mark or hyuck hahaha i heard the lyrics in a song and i immediately remembered ur angst fics haha! Looking forward to it 😘

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emelinstriker · 4 months

Note

I love how all the asks just blew up with Azure's release, this is funny to me. Meanwhile, I'm still planning my wedding to Wukong and Macaque-

Now, because you're focusing so much on Azure, I don't expect a response to this right away, but here's more brain dump about the wedding details.

So I looked more into polyamorous weddings and found out that they are not legal. It's not legal in many places! Of course, not legal in many places does not mean all places, and therefore I discovered that a man can marry multiple women but a woman can't marry multiple men. However, with further research, I discovered that Africa and Asia are both places where it is legal to marry any type of polyamory and given Wukong and Macaque are technically Chinese, it works! Therefore, if we aren't already in China, We need to jump on the Mink Express and yes, I will have Mink turn into a train for this. Why Mink and why a train, you ask? ... ... Anyways, if we go to China then everything's legal and right and such. But what if we want to marry somewhere specific? That would mean we can only legally marry one with works anyways and I would marry Macaque first so he would legally be our husband. The marriage with Wukong would not be legal and would just be a ceremony announcing the next step of our relationship.

But after all that research, I remembered that the Champions and by extent the Readers care not for the legalities so ignore literally everything I just said. Let's get to the fun stuff, little situations I imagined!:

The cake wouldn't be a normal wedding cake, but fruit cake to better appease to the monkeys taste buds! I imagine it would look like a normal cake but have, like chunks of peach in it or even slices of peach on each layer. I feel like Nezha would convince Red Son to add certain designs and just overall help with the design of the cake. Still don't know how to epxplain my thought process there though......

With the release of Azure, I decided that he would try to take most of the planning off of our shoulders, orchestrating the whole thing according to whatever we wanted. If there was something we wanted and couldn't have for some reason, never fear! He'll fix that up with a stern talking to which might result in him bringing home lunch for the other Champions, if you know what I mean. He would also definitely walk the Reader down the aisle with his little bottom fanged smile!

For you, #1 Oracle Fan Anon, we'll invite the Oracle to the wedding and they'll chill in the back with his colleagues/friends. (sorry if I got any of the wrong, I haven't looked to deep into the Oracle's lore) The Oracle would probably leave as soon as possible unless convinced otherwise by this colleagues/friends.

We would also invite the Wukong, Macaque, and MK (and Red Son?) from the neighboring AU, "The King and his Cub" by theweepingegg. TKC Macaque would be bitter about the whole thing, but I think TKC Wukong would also be another man of honor with ESAU MK. And TKC MK would pull some wacky hijinks with TKC Red Son.

And Mink, how could I have almost forgotten him?! (I think it's because I secretly hold a grudge against him for being too Jax-core. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I don't really like Jax for being Sans-core so this is all giving me major deja-vu) Mink would do the minimal amount of effort into helping but he would get us a gift. A colander in particular. Nothing else. When we open it, he would hold up a finger, signalling to give him a moment, sit in the colander for a brief period of time, then melt out of it and disappear of the rest of the night. Again, I can't explain my thought process here.

The fact that this meme works in not just in a literal, but also a metaphorical sense tho-

But yasss I love those ideas fhgnfhgffghfngh I find it funny though how you did research on poly marriages and just threw it right out the window cuz we ain't goin' with standard weddings up in here fhgnfhgnhfg

#eternal servants au #esau qna #esau x reader #esau memes

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randomfoggytiger · 6 months

Text

Dreams, Alternate Realities, and Agency

In Mulder's dreams or nightmares-come-to-life, he is stripped of his agency: "I had one chance," he grieves in Herrenvolk, "and I let it slip away." His obsessive pursuit for answers is directly correlated to his helplessness during his sister's abduction; and continues to haunt him as he battles against the Consortium.

"She's crying out for help-- but I can't help her. I can't move."

"I dreamt I was swimming this pool, and I could see my father underwater. But when I dove down, the water stung my eyes.... And I had to leave. I couldn't find my father."

"I'm beginning to wonder if... if that ever even happened."

"Well, I've often felt that dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask."

"We do what we can to battle the evil that would otherwise destroy us. But if a man's character is his faith, this fight is not a choice, but a calling."

"At times, I almost dream."

"Fox, help me! Help me!"

"Mulder, make her stop. I can't help myself."

"You have to help me! You have to get me out of here! Please! You have to help me. Help me-- please help me."

"...the deja vu phenomenon could be repressed memories escaping the unconscious that represents the desire to, uh, have a second chance."

"Scully, I was like you once. I didn't know who to trust.... The end of my world was unrecognizable and upside down. There was one thing that remained the same: you were my friend, and you told me the truth."

"Stay where you are!"

"Did I say that? I didn't say that!"

His quest, his fight, is why he can't stop and live "a normal life"-- not until that part of himself is reclaimed.

It's why moments where Mulder actively chooses to "remain with you" (via The Blessing Way and Amor Fati) are so important to his character: he can choose, often aided by Scully's belief in him.

Scully is a pivotal piece to his life because Mulder depends on her capability and support-- to take care of herself and to trust in him-- in order to do his work; but more specifically, to soothe his own worries that he'll fail her, too (which is why he kept nearly falling apart whenever she was in danger.) And he continually rewards that faith by accomplishing Herculean tasks to get back to her side.

In Scully's dreams, she fails despite her agency. While Mulder is "called" to his mission, called to answer those questions that he can't escape even in his sleep, Scully is forced to confront them-- and herself-- when pulled in by prophecies, divinations, and cries for help.

It's why the events of Irresistible, Emily, and Orison hit her hard: they were, she considered, a self-fulfilling cycle of success and failure.

"I'll believe you... if you let me... let me talk to him."

"I'm fine, Mulder."

"There are hits and there are misses. And then there are misses."

"Well, see, it just makes me afraid.... Afraid that God is speaking... but that no one's listening."

"Facing a truth I can no longer deny. Alone, as ever."

"Mommy, let me go. Mommy, please, let me go."

"He cornered me today and told me my life's story. He was kind of frightening, actually."

"The only reason why you're alive is because I asked the judge for life!"

Mulder's quest makes her afraid: Scully is reminded of her human frailty, of the fallible nature of her beliefs, of the losses-- personally and professionally-- she takes because of the truth. Yet her partner's strength keeps her there: she leans on it when her father dies, when she is returned in a coma, when she battles cancer, and when she must confront any number of unexplainable realities on a daily basis.

Of course, dreams and nightmares and alternate realities are incapable of holding back Mulder or Scully for long; and the two find a way to keep fighting alongside each other, hoping to bring about a better, happier reality together.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #Dreams Alternate Realities and Agency #meta #xf meta #xfiles #x-files #the x files #mine #thoughts #dreams and agency #Mulder #Scully

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pureiceblue · 11 months

Text

Queer Gaming History- Caper in the Castro

We are thankfully in an era where there are more openly LGBT characters in video games than ever before. Just looking at the list of known queer video game characters on Wikipedia shows how much progress we've made with the early days being organized by decade and recent times being organized by individual year.

Since it's Pride Month, I'd like to talk about one of the earliest pieces of LGBT representation within video games and just why it was created.

This is 1989's Caper in the Castro. You can now play it for free here.

Just as a warning, the language used within the game is very much dated to the 80s. I don't mean this with just 80s slang, I mean that you're gonna see words that are considered slurs nowadays.

Caper in the Castro was developed and released during the height of the AIDS epidemic. While it was released for free, it was considered a piece of software known as charityware. Unlike other freeware, charityware is distributed as a method of encouraging downloaders to donate money to a certain cause. In this case, Caper in the Castro was made to raise money for those suffering from the AIDS epidemic.

We'll get more into how the AIDS epidemic influences the game in a bit. I think I should also show you guys what the game's about.

The above screenshot sets the scene pretty well. It's a short point and click adventure game where you have to save your friend, Tessy, from the evil Straightman. It's about a fifteen minute playthrough with a few fun ways to get yourself killed or arrested (as is the adventure game tradition).

You're limited to the few buildings on the city streets, but you can mostly tackle them in any order you want. You don't have to pick up specific items, just notes which last even if you die. The death screen is pretty iconic by the way.

Deja Vu? Who is she? There is no Ace Harding, just Tracker McDyke.

Tracker McDyke is wonderful by the way. Yes you can pick locks, but you're gonna solve most of your lock problems by just shooting them. Gunshots are just background noise in this neighborhood, nobody gives a shit and neither should you.

You can also look at a lady showering and she'll say a happy "hey~" to you!

There's no reason for this. Sometimes it's just nice for Detective McDyke to look at a sideboob and butt.

It's not all butts and boob however. While the story is short, the surroundings tell a true reflection of what the queer community went through during that time (and sadly still does on a different scale).

We're going back to talking about the AIDS crisis now, because the very idea of the game was based on the cruel reality C.M. Ralph experienced. It was normal for many in the queer community to just have friends disappear and never be found. Many families wouldn't claim those who were found and same sex partners weren't given spousal rights.

In Caper in the Castro though, you can save your friend.

Tessy is found unharmed toward the end of the game and it's easy to free her. You get to be a badass and shoot her chains off before burning the whole place down.

As I type this, I think about what a lovely role you get to play in this game. You play as a gun toting lesbian that takes down the evil Straightman, save your missing drag queen friend, then burn down all of Straightman's supplies.

If this game came out today, people would say it's inciting violence against straight people- Wait a minute! There was a censored release!

C.M. Ralph did put out a commercial release for Caper in the Castro called Murder on Main Street! It takes out everything queer in order to appeal to a publisher. I can't be mad though because you do what you have to in order to get that bag and let's be real.

There's no way in hell a publisher would've taken this.

Caper in the Castro itself is named after San Francisco's historically gay neighborhood, the Castro. While many have found a community among their queer peers, many places within were under threats and violent acts.

The scenario presented within the game can only be solved by members of the community. The police can't help you, only a lesbian with a gun can. We as a community need to support each other, especially with how things have been going in 2023.

I wanted to talk about this game for pride month not just because it's an important part of gaming history. To me, it represents the reason we celebrate pride.

Because there's a scene in the game where you walk into a diner and see two gay couples just having a comfortable late night meal.

And I think about how we deserve this comfortable happiness for many decades to come.

...and this game also gives us the "fantasy" of burning down the establishments of those who want to kill us.

Happy pride everyone. I hope you're all safe and surrounded by people you love and also love you in return.

#Game History #Caper in the castro #Retro Games #Pride Month #1989

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saltwater-and-woodsmoke · 2 years

Text

Twenty Six Letters || JJ Maybank

Warnings and authors note: This is sad, like so sad, my friends say it rips their hearts out. I’m sorry. Title credit to black butterflies and deja vu by the maine (the lyric is “there’s only twenty six letters I can use just to tell you I won’t let go”)

This specific story is an alternate ending to another fic I wrote, but I haven’t got that one transferred here yet, I am in the process of moving all of my works to this blog from my main.

Word Count: 2,350

July 17

Y/N,

The doctors came out and told me they tried everything, but they couldn’t save you. They’re transferring Charlie to the mainland where they have a NICU, they’re life lining her. The amount of police that had to hold me back from hurting that doctor, I’m embarrassed. This was supposed to be our dream, our family. I needed to write my thoughts down, I know you can’t read this, it’s ridiculous. I can’t lose both of you. I love you so much.

July 19

Y/N,

Charlie weighs a whopping 1 pound, 2 ounces. She’s the tiniest thing I have ever laid eyes on. I’m staying on the mainland until she gets to come home, thanks to the community, really. Sarah started a fundraiser for Charlie’s medical care, your funeral, and the community really showed their support. No word on who did this to you, but I will find out. Charlotte Rose Maybank is a fighter, just like her mother. I love you.

July 21

Y/N,

Today we laid you to rest. Even though your parents didn’t like me that well, they both put that aside today. John B and Pope had to practically hold me up at the cemetery. We were supposed to grow old and gray together, but today I had to put you six feet under at twenty three. It hit me that I am a widower at twenty-five. I am a single father of a four day old “micro preemie”. I’m at the hospital now. I’m not supposed to be in the NICU this late, but the night nurse knows what happened and can understand my need to be close to the last thing I have of you. I love you more than you will ever know,

PS: I did as you wished and made JB and Sarah her godparents. They’re coming tomorrow to see her for the first time.

July 25

Y/N,

I spent the night in jail last night. You see, they finally figured out who the pick up belonged to. I hadn’t seen him since we got married two years ago, but I was so pissed off when I went into the jail to talk to Shoupe. I asked him for five minutes with him, which was granted. I was yelling, and I’m not embarrassed about that actually. I told him I was going to make sure he went away for a very long time. That he killed the love of my life, that because of him his fucking granddaughter is fighting for her life right now all because he felt like it was okay to drive drunk. That motherfucker showed no remorse whatsoever. He fucking smirked at me Y/N, so I punched him. Square in the jaw. Of course, I was promptly booked for it, but I was told this morning that they weren’t going to actually press charges because in Shoupe’s eyes he deserved it. They put it on the books as a purely cooling down period. I came back to the hospital, and Charlie is stable. They said if she keeps improving like she is, I might get to hold her for the first time soon. I’m trying to be strong for her, for you, but I miss you so much. You should still be here, she should still be safe and growing inside you. But it wasn’t meant to be. I love you more than the moon and stars,

August 9

Y/N,

So I haven’t written in a while and that’s because we have a pretty rocking kid, you know? I got to hold her for the first time last week. It was an emotional affair, I was sobbing the moment they placed her on my chest. She’s still so tiny, but she’s gaining weight and is starting to look more like an actual human instead of an alien. I made sure the nurse took a picture when I held her because I want to remember how small she was the first time I held her, even with all the wires and tubes. I may be writing less frequently but I’m gonna keep writing. It makes me feel better. Like, I’m still close to you with this notebook. I love you, I love you, I love you.

September 17

Y/N,

Happy two months Lottie Rose. I know we were going to call her Charlie, but the new night nurse started calling her Lottie, and I’ve kind of fallen in love with it. It just fits her. She’s almost three pounds now! I’m so proud of her. It’s wild to me that she would be due in almost six weeks. The doctor expects her to be home by her due date, and I promptly will be taking her to your grave. She’s always going to know how much you loved her, Y/N. I made sure your mom put “Mother of Charlotte” on your headstone. When she’s older I’m gonna take her to our favorite spots. I want her to know who you were, because I know that the person you were, is why she’s here. I love you more than I can count.

October 31st

Y/N,

Happy Due Date Lottie Rose Maybank! We’re going home today, Y/N. Lottie weighs a whopping 6 pounds now. I’m so proud of her. She is tiny, but she’s gonna catch up fast. She passed her car seat test with flying colors. She can eat from a bottle, but the nurse noticed that she wasn’t as responsive to sound as most of the other babies when they’re ready to go home. She suggested she might just be desensitized to the noise of the hospital, but they wanted to recheck her hearing before we leave, so I am writing this while I wait for them to finish that. I just signed all of her release paperwork. Last night, I was contacted by the local news to do an interview about how Lottie is, and how everything has affected me. I think I should do it, John B and Sarah said they would watch Lottie while I go to the station.

Okay so they brought Lottie back, she didn’t pass her hearing test so we have to set up an appointment for a hearing specialist. Honestly, if she needs hearing aids it isn’t the biggest deal in the world. I’m not going to love her any less. She’s our kid, she can handle anything that's thrown in her way. I love you bunches,

December 24

Y/N,

This single dad thing is hard. Tomorrow is Lottie’s first Christmas, and we are going to church with your parents. I know you always liked to go on Christmas and Easter at least, so I thought that could be one tradition I kept with Lottie. I’m also keeping the tradition of buying a personalized ornament every year for the Christmas tree. It’s wild to think that at this time last year, we had just agreed to try for a baby, and this year everything is different. You’re not here, we have a five month old daughter who is the size of a three month old. I’ve got to tell you, losing your wife brings things into perspective. I want Lottie to have a set of grandparents that love her unconditionally. I’ve spent a lot of time with your mom and sister the last month or so, and I know your mom will love her no matter what. No matter how we get along, Lottie comes first. She’s our priority. Merry Christmas, Baby, I love you.

July 17

Y/N,

One year. You have been gone one long year. This time one year ago, I was working on Pope’s dad’s truck. It seemed like every single siren in the town went out, and I remember thinking “That must be a bad accident.” If only I knew then. If only I knew that in an hour, you would be gone, that I’d be standing in the waiting room of the hospital while they worked on you until they couldn’t anymore. I remember the anger, Shoupe and another officer holding me back before I just buckled in my own grief. I remember your mom and dad coming, having rushed over from the mainland. Your mom knew, as soon she walked in the waiting room where I was a mess on the floor, JB on one side of me, Pope on the other, she knew. We sobbed together, we became numb together. I vaguely remember telling her they were lifelining Lottie to Raleigh. I remember her looking at me and telling me, “John James, you listen to me. You get to Raleigh, your daughter needs you. Do you hear me? She needs you.” It was the only time in my life I didn’t mind hearing my full name. I didn’t get to see her until she was already two days old. Today we have a happy, healthy, one year old. She’s catching up with kids her age, which kind of shocks the doctors. She’s growing on track, she’s hitting milestones. She just started crawling, but she can already get wherever her little heart desires. I’ve made a conscious effort to not be sad in front of her today. We are having a big party for her, she’s going to love it. I miss you, sweetheart. I love you

August 10

Y/N

Time flies, you know? It seems like yesterday I was bringing Lottie home from the hospital. Where has five years gone? Today, I dropped her off for her first day of kindergarten. We had a long conversation about how if anyone was mean about her hearing aids, to tell her teacher and how it wasn’t a bad thing to ask for help. I want her to have a better school experience than I had, I want her to like school. That didn’t stop me from sobbing like a baby the whole way to work. Of course, my boss knew I’d been crying and just patted my shoulder and told me “if you think this is the only first day that you’ll cry, I have news for you.” I told him Lottie is an only child, I’m probably going to cry at every first day of school. It’s strange to think that if you were still here we’d probably have another little Maybank running around. It’s okay though, your sister had twins two years ago and JB and Sarah are having their first soon, so she’s got cousins to play with. I love you sweetheart.

July 17

Y/N.

Uh, we have a teenager? Like a full ass practically fully grown human in our house. Thirteen years and it still feels like yesterday. We got the news yesterday that Luke Maybank died in jail over the weekend. Y/N, I have to tell you, our daughter cracks me up. I told her that her grandfather passed away, and she told me she hopes you take a trip down to hell and kick the shit out of him. I told her that I beat the shit out of him thirteen years ago when she was barely a week old. She found the news articles about the accident, and asked me to talk to her about it. I did, but it was hard. I’ve never shut up about you so she knew who you were. She also asked me why I never remarried. It’s simple, really. Half my heart was buried with you 13 years ago, and the other half divided to recover and love our daughter just as fiercely as we loved each other. I love you honey.

May 31

Y/N,

Okay, we’re old. It’s fine. Charlotte Rose Maybank, you know our pretty rockin’ kid? Yeah, she graduated high school today, as valedictorian. She’ll be 18 in July, Y/N, and then in August she’s going to the mainland for college. She wants to be a doctor. Watching her walk across that stage, in her cap and gown, I was sobbing. I was an absolute mess. JB had to take pictures for me because I couldn’t stop shaking. You’d be so proud of her. I know I sure am. I love you more than I can breathe,

October 25

Y/N,

Our baby girl got married today. Of course, I could go my entire life without knowing that JB and I are going share grandkids someday, but really Alexander is a great kid, and he loves Lottie. I know that someday, she’s going to find all these notebooks and read them and I hope she laughs that I shared every milestone with you like you could read these. She’s got one more semester of school left, then she will officially be Charlotte Rose Maybank-Routledge, MD. I personally think the hyphenating of her last name is really complicated, but that’s what she wants. She looks absolutely stunning in her dress, I hope you can see her. I love you, gorgeous,

November 13

Y/N,

We became grandparents today. It’s wild to think that 27 years ago, I was holding our daughter in the same hospital where Carter Jonathan Maybank-Routledge arrived early this morning. The Maybank genes are still strong in this one, Carter looks so much like Lottie it’s not funny. I told JB maybe the next one will look like his side, ha. Okay sweetheart, I love you. JJ

March 6

Mom,

I had absolutely no idea that Dad wrote you a letter every week, sometimes every day, for 36 years. He fought the cancer for a very long time, Mom, because he simply didn’t want to leave me and the boys. I found the notebooks, I’ve spent the last week reading them. He loved you so much, he loved me so much. He wrote to you up until the last day. That’s beautiful. I know you are back together now. You’ve got 36 years to catch up on. Tell him we’ll be fine.

I love you both,

Lottie.

#obx fic #jj maybank x reader #JJ maybank #obx #outer banks fic #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks #JJ maybank fic #jj maybank fanfiction #JJ maybank angst #obx angst #obx fanfiction #dad!jj maybank

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cherienymphe · 1 month

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Not in the sense of talent or anything but more so that she's 34 and her musical competitor is Olivia Rodrigo 🧍🏾‍♀️ I for the life of me cannot understand how people got it into their heads that it's Beyoncé when they are catering to two different demographics. More often than not, people who listen to beyonce like that are not listening to Taylor and vice versa. It's more likely to be Olivia Rodrigo because Olivia and Taylor are catering to the same demographic and are making the same kind of music

The thing is that even Taylor knows Olivia is her main competitor 😭 she wouldn’t have sued her for deja vu otherwise. And so many ppl try to say that Olivia’s team gave her credits but I don’t buy it. Taylor (or her team, it doesn’t rlly matter) absolutely asked for them. Like the proof that they have beef is literally right there 💀 she and conan were used to promote fearless tv and then a year-and-a-half later when Conan was asked if he had listened to midnights he said he “hadn’t gotten around to it.” People want to use the excuse that Olivia is trying to form her own brand and distance herself from the mega Swiftie she was acting like in the beginning of her career when their lack of interaction at awards shows is brought up. Also don’t even get me started on the fact that Taylor asked Olivia’s best friend and her boyfriend’s ex to open for her on tour 😭 it obviously wasn’t done with the intention of hurting Olivia but it had to have been tough to see that as a lifelong fan

Idk if you saw the tiktok from that one Canadian marketing graduate but he basically made a video about why Taylor’s brand isn’t gonna be sustainable forever. Not expecting you to watch it because it’s nine minutes long but I’m just gonna put it here anyways:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLFpn3eQ/

At the beginning of the video he brings up the two categories of pop stars which are 1. The untouchables and 2. The relatables. Taylor falls under the second category meanwhile Beyoncé falls under the first which is just one of the many reasons she is far from being Taylor’s competitor.

Also ppl getting upset that Olivia’s concert isn’t suitable for kids unlike Taylor’s is sending me. Like what did u expect? Olivia is twenty-one years old and not only that but did u not listen to the album before taking your kid to her concert? It’s so obviously too mature for children 💀 she’s had this stereotype since sour came out that she’s for thirteen year olds and that just couldn’t be farther from the truth. Also idk if Taylor’s concerts bring suitable for kids is necessarily a flex on Taylor’s part…

When you remember that Adele is only one year older than Taylor it kinda puts things into perspective… their music is just so different and I’m not talking abt the sound. It’s the maturity aspect of it

The thing about the untouchable vs the relatable is very true. Love her or hate her, Beyoncé definitely has gained this divine like aura over the years. People don't even care about being able to relate to beyonce. She's quite literally worshipped it's insane 😭 whereas Taylor does push this narrative of her being just like the other girls who deal with all the things you do and she's like your best friend who understands you and she wrote this specifically for you

I'm not too versed in the Olivia and Taylor "beef" but I did catch wind of it and I will say it has to suck to basically have a "never meet your idols" moment. As for their shows, Olivia's not being as kid appropriate checks out. Yes I do think both makes music for teenagers and young adults but Olivia's very much gives female rage and teenage angst and not caring about being the dutiful daughter but instead just letting your emotions go wild and not letting yourself be controlled. To me her music is like a teenager who is angry about being a teenager and dealing with teenage bullshit and teenage heartbreak. That makes sense to me because she's 20 and literally living it/just lived it.

And yes ever since someone pointed out the age difference between Taylor and Adele (or lack thereof) it blew my mind 🧍🏾‍♀️the gap in their music could not be more stark

#asks

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nobodywritingao3 · 10 months

Text

Your Love (Deja Vu) [ch 3]

masterpost | previous | rickroll

Phil stores his sons during a fight, revealing his true nature to them. Caught up in the moment, he doesn't get a chance to explain to them and falls asleep. When he wakes up, they're inconsolable.

CW: - gore - minor character death - Phil eats people - hard vore - soft vore

title taken from 'Your Love (Deja Vu)' by Glass Animals but specifically the stripped back version because that makes me cry

word count: 1.7k 💔 read it on AO3

The kids will be in Technoblade's room. They always go there when they're upset.

Phil's already brushed his teeth, scraped his tongue, flossed, rinsed with mouthwash, and even brushed his teeth a second time out of nervousness. His gums are bleeding, and after popping a mint into his mouth for good measure, they also sting a little bit. He showered off the grime and blood and he's dressed in his most comfortable 'dad clothes,' as Wilbur has taken to calling them. When he looks at his reflection, he almost feels like himself again.

He walks down the hallway, careful to make his footsteps steady and audible as he approaches the door. There are hushed whispers from the room, but as he nears the sounds die into tense silence. He comes to rest outside the room and knocks a gentle rhythm he's used with the kids since he took them in.

"Hey mate, can I come in?" He asks softly, voice still dry and raspy.

There's no answer.

He wants to turn around and flee. He isn't strong enough to do this, he isn't strong enough to be their father; he's already proven that he's a fuck-up parent and he should really just do them all the favor of leaving.

"If you don't answer me, I'm going to open the door," Phil continues, practically forcing the words out of his mouth. "You know the house rules; I need to make sure you're safe."

There's still no answer, so with his stomach churning in anxiety, he twists the handle and slowly pushes the door in.

The three of them are standing around with packed bags, ready to go, the window hanging open. Wilbur has a deer-in-the-headlights, blank expression on his face, holding Tommy up to the windowsill and looking ready to toss him outside. He and Phil stare at each other. He awkwardly lowers his little brother to the floor.

Phil just stands there, taking in the scene, before he's pulled from his thoughts as Techno drops a backpack on the floor with a thump.

He flinches away from Phil's gaze as soon as it lands on him. "Please just - just let us go," he says quietly.

"No. No, no you can't," he plainly responds, too shocked to elaborate. His eyes dart between each of their faces.

"We won't tell anyone," Wilbur pleads. "We're not even..." he trails off, searching for the words. He can't find them and simply begs,"please."

Phil shakes his head, backing away from the door. "Wilbur, you're thirteen. Techno is barely fourteen, and Tommy is eight. You're too young to be alone," he reasons desperately, trying to keep the hurt from his voice. "It's better if you stay here."

They stare at him. That's obviously not what the conversation is about, and at a better time, it's the kind of thing they would have pointed out and teased him for.

"Please stay."

Techno shuffles his feet like he's picking up the nerve to retort, and Wilbur's eyes widen. He shoots out a hand and grabs his brother by the arm, giving him a panicked, warning look.

"No, Wil." Techno's voice is hard, and he shrugs his hand off. "I want to talk about this."

He turns to Phil with a defiant set in his jaw. "If you're not going to kill us - " Phil flinches at the accusation, " - then just let us go - what was the point of pretending to love us anyway?"

Phil stumbles over his words, his desperation palatable. "I do love you. I love you so much, you're my boys and I never want to hurt you." It comes out as more of a beg than a statement. A beg to be believed, a beg for them to stop looking at him like he'll snap at any moment and start tearing into them the way he tore into the soldiers.

"You ate us," Wilbur protests. He doesn't sound angry or rebellious - it would be better if he did - he just sounds horrified. Shocked and vaguely hurt.

Phil's heart aches. "I didn't - I didn't eat you." It sounds weak, even to him. "I'd never digest you, I love you - that was my brooding pouch, like a kangaroo - I would never send you to my stomach. If you were in my stomach, you would have seen - " he cuts himself off, not wanting to remind them of what he'd done to the army, but judging from their faces, it's too late for that.

Techno won't even look at him. "You could have sent us to your stomach. On accident." The implication in his words slams into Phil like a tidal wave, leaving him gasping for air.

"What? I - no, Tech - "

"We saw how you ate Wilbur," Tommy softly chimes in, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and staring at the ground.

He's so quiet, and so matter of fact, and Phil just doesn't have a response. All he can do is stare and feel his guilt prickle across his back.

Tommy continues, "You were so... hungry. What if you'd eaten him for real?"

Phil shakes his head hard and fast. "No. No, no, no, no. I didn't - you don't know my anatomy, Toms," he pleads. His throat and voice still aches, but he doesn't care. He talks through the pain. "My storage - I imprinted on you years ago. My nervous system wired itself to identify you as my babies, my brood. Even if I was trying - and I would never, ever try - I wouldn't be able to send you to my stomach." He resists the urge to cry. He just wants them to believe him. "It's instinct. My body would send you to my brood pouch on instinct."

He can tell from their faces that they don't believe him.

Tears gather in the corner of his eyes.

"Guys, please - " he begs again. He starts forward but immediately stops, seeing them withdraw away from him. "You can't - you can't go." He tries to speak authoritatively, but it comes out too earnest and urgent. "I won't allow it."

"Why not?" Wilbur asks, aggravated. "We're not - we're humans, and you eat - "

"I haven't in years," he cuts in pathetically. "Yesterday was a fluke."

"We were managing just fine without you," he continues harshly. "We don't fucking need you - don't you get that?!" His voice raises to a yell. "You are just like everyone else. Every other adult who took us in, and promised they'd love us and protect us - as soon as we're inconvenient, none of that matters anymore. Maybe you even believe what you're saying to us, but you are a fucking liar. We'll fuck up: we'll break a dish or argue too loudly or come home drunk and you'll get mad, and then you'll eat us. You don't love us, and clearly you never did, because if you had then you wouldn't have lied!"

He's breathing hard, his face red, and his eyes glossy. He angrily scrubs at his face. Techno and Tommy look at him in horror, eyes flitting between Wilbur and Phil in dread.

"Wilbur..." Phil starts softly. He resists the urge to reach out and pull the boy close. "You're wrong, of course I love you. What those people did to you was horrible, and I would never - have I ever hurt you? Even yesterday, when I was out of my mind, I was just - I was trying my best for you. You're my son."

Wilbur's voice shakes hard in a mixture of heartbreak and anger. "You were out of control! It's dumb fucking luck that you saw as your kids instead of - instead of prey - if we're even to believe you! So what about next time?!"

Phil shakes his head vehemently. "There won't be a next time. And even if there is, I won't digest you because I can't - because my body recognizes that you don't belong in my stomach. You belong in my storage, mate, because I love you."

Techno steps forward, his hand coming up and pushing Wilbur and Tommy slightly behind him. "That doesn't matter, 'cause we don't even know if you're telling the truth. We want to go, let us go."

He hates everything about this conversation. They went from terrified of crossing him to unearthing deep rooted childhood trauma to - to this and it's not - this is worse. Something inside of him breaks.

He doesn't want to lose them, why can't they see that? If they just listened to him -

"I don't care if you're afraid of me right now, Tech, this is for your own good." There's a steely quality in his voice that doesn't match how he feels.

Techno glowers at him. "We are leaving."

"No. No, you're not. I'm sorry, but despite how you feel about me right now, you are children. And more than that, you are my children. If you leave this house, I'll just - I'll just track you down and bring you back. As your father - "

"You're not our dad!" Techno spits out.

Anger curls tightly around Phil's heart. Of course he is, of course he's their - they're just being immature right now. They aren't seeing -

"And you can't make us stay," he says through grit teeth. "We will run the fuck out of here, and never come back."

He clenches his jaw. "If you try that, I will eat you again and keep you there until you're in your thirties."

Oh, shit - FUCK - he slaps a hand over his mouth, breathing hard.

He didn't mean to say that. He didn't mean to say that at all. It just - it just came out of his mouth before he even realized what it was.

They'll misunderstand him, they'll think he's saying that -

Oh fuck.

Phil's heartbeat picks up. This is the exact opposite of what he wanted.

He doesn't mean it, of course he doesn't mean it. He loves them. He loves them, he loves them, he loves them.

But they don't know that ( - they don't know that anymore - ) and the effect his words has is instantaneous. In a second, they've gone from righteous and rebellious to terrified.

He lowers his hand from his face. "I - I didn't mean it like that," he whispers.

Techno shifts backward next to Wilbur. Tommy has tears flowing down his cheeks.

"I didn't - I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he's babbling again but he knows there's nothing to say.

He grasps the doorknob and swings the door shut before he can do more damage.

~ ~ ~

TAGLIST: @gracideaviolet @i-am-beckyu let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist

ho o ooo ookaayyyyyy how we feeling about this chapter fellas

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