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halaboyz · 4 days

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2:07 am, eric

gn! reader; angst; tipsy characters; 457 words

you were always a second choice. it wasn't any different when it came to best friend, eric, who knew you liked him a lot. he didn't mean to leave you hanging without any answer to your confession, but you knew. deep inside, you do- that no answer, is an answer.

but even so, you liked that eric's lips lightly graze your earlobe as he whispers sweet nothings as sweet as honey. or when his hand meets your back unconsciously when he guides you through the sea of unknown faces chugging their hearts down.

what you least liked, is that goddamn smile on his face when he unexpectedly meets someone he immediately clicked with in the sea of those faces one day, and the ghost of him is what remained with you. the warmth of his breath under your ear, or his hand on your back.

and that continued to happen, over and over again.

"i'm leaving." you collect your things and stand up, leaving your friends confused and staring at you as you stride away. you hear eric quickly bid a goodbye to his so-called friend he had been meeting with for the past few weeks and to the others, tailing you.

"hey, party's not over. are you not feeling well?" and started with eric's hand on your back again, lips an inch away from your ears again. you leave him with no answer, letting him lead you out the doors of the bar.

"party's not over, like you said. you should head back." you sigh, facing him.

"are you okay? it's not like you to leave mid."

"eric. i'm not." you finally snap, "i'm not okay. i haven't been for the past few weeks and i know you know why."

"is this about her? come on... we've only just met last month and i've been bringing her so that we could be friends all together. once you get to know her it'll be fine-,"

"tell me you don't love her, then." you softly plead, waiting for him to answer. "tell me you don't love her." you wait. and wait. but when eric frowns at you, you chuckle bitterly. "see."

"y/n," he tries to reach for your arm, but you step away.

"right. asking you to tell me you don't love her is like asking you to tell me you love me. so fucking obvious." you let a tear fall before you turn your back on him, and like what you had always let happen, you hope he runs after you and ask you to understand.

but when you reach the end of the road with nothing but loneliness, you've also gotten your answer. the answer you shouldn't have chosen to ignore in the first place.

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halaboyz · 5 days

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2:07 am, eric

gn! reader; angst; tipsy characters; 457 words

and that continued to happen, over and over again.

"party's not over, like you said. you should head back." you sigh, facing him.

"are you okay? it's not like you to leave mid."

"eric. i'm not." you finally snap, "i'm not okay. i haven't been for the past few weeks and i know you know why."

"is this about her? come on... we've only just met last month and i've been bringing her so that we could be friends all together. once you get to know her it'll be fine-,"

"tell me you don't love her, then." you softly plead, waiting for him to answer. "tell me you don't love her." you wait. and wait. but when eric frowns at you, you chuckle bitterly. "see."

"y/n," he tries to reach for your arm, but you step away.

but when you reach the end of the road with nothing but loneliness, you've also gotten your answer. the answer you shouldn't have chosen to ignore in the first place.

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halaboyz · 1 month

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DAYNS?!/$:&:$:88:$3$3$3$: UR BACK?/!8:&:&: OMG HOW ARE YOU??? I MISSED YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭😭💗💗💗

JADE? !?!?!?!? HI ))): I MISSED U SM !!! and im not :''') I GO BACK WHEN I CAN AND WRITE WHEN I CAN THO !!!! pls pls pls leave me ur ig on my inbox i would LOVE u to be on my (personal) ig so that i can stay connected :''') I MISSED U MORE

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halaboyz · 2 months

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still of serendipity, yunho

ateez bf (ex)! yunho x gn! reader angst angst angst angst ; break-up fic! wc: 1.1k warnings: idk what i should put it as but reader starts to list things that can be considered as self-hate(?); swearing a/n: jeong yunho is just the PERFECT character for playing angst and the way he holds always holds a spot whenever i think of angst is ... this is light angst though! at least for me ^^

It was way past afternoon, yet sometime before night. It was neither dusk or night, you didn't know— with the way the dark clouds uniformly enclosed the bright blue sky maybe minutes ago, dropping hundreds and thousands and millions of rain that formed a rather calming sound in the background.

What you knew though, was that you were still sitting in silence as you stare out the window, hearing yet another sigh coming out of the man's lips in front of you.

"y/n," He calls out, and you look down to heave a breath to hold your tears.

"Yunho, the rain's pretty."

"We've been dragging this out by so long already, y/n. Don't you think it's already time?" Yunho whispers, ever so softly. He scoots closer to you to lean his elbows on the table.

You look at him emotionlessly, yet pleadingly. You were one to expect this was already to come, yet it still hits you like a truck.

"Yunho... I really can't do this right now." It was true. You have a lot on your plate; your job currently thinking whether resigning with you is a good idea or terminating your contract with how you were so idea-less these past few months, your family borderline cutting all connections with each other, friends unable to be contacted— Yunho was the only one you're now holding onto. "I really, really can't. Can't we... wait this out? I really really need you by my side right now and I... can't."

"Do you just need me, y/n?" Yunho stares at you hopelessly, the rhetorical question wanting to be said out loud for weeks already.

It makes you silent, though. Did you really just need him? Did you make him feel like that, that you only needed him? Did it seem like that?

Because you knew for sure you'd travel space and back to prove your love for this man.

So when he asked that, made it seem like you only used him for your benefit— or whatever he meant, that's how you understood it anyway, no point in arguing on an ending fight— you knew it was really a waste of more energy to try and prove something to him.

"If it seemed like that to you, take it like that." The disappointment was still evident in your voice, laced with anything the like of a venom that slowly killed the both of you.

"You know what I mean, y/n. You know how much I love you, and I still do. But... things are just not going too well that even love can't make me stay. I'm not the problem, you're not the prob—,"

"Stop telling me that there's no problem with me, Yunho. I need you to fucking say anything to make me please, fucking hate you." You finally sob, looking around the cafe with no other customers but the both of you, and the barista standing awkwardly behind the cashier, feigning ignorance.

You couldn't care less, though. You messily wipe your tears away but you sob yet again. It just keeps coming. When you said arguing was a waste of energy, crying isn't, that's certain.

"y/n."

"No, Yunho. I need you to spit out every fucking insult you could. Am I fat? Am I too ugly? Short? Do I not have dreams? Passions? Hobbies that don't align with yours? Boastful? Hard-headed? A pain in your fucking ass? Do tell, Yunho. 'Cause I'm about to lose my mind."

"Y/n..."

"I need any! Any fucking reason why you're breaking up with me and giving up on me, Yunho. I'd take on anything you're going to say and believe it and go on with my fucked up life because if not, Yunho..." You sigh, all the emotions mixing as you burst out crying. If it weren't for the raindrops in the background, and the low volume of jazz playing against the four walls of the cafe, you would've been all over the place to prove Yunho a point. "Even if my life turns upside down and you have shitty timing trying to break up with me, Yunho, I'd wait. If you don't say anything right now, I'd wait until the world fucking blows up."

Yunho only looks at you with so much he can give— guilt, a hint of regret, and a lot of sympathy you didn't need.

What you needed was him, his presence, even if he only stood still beside you all throughout, you knew you'd cope.

He was your lifeline, after all.

"Because I love you like that, Yunho. I don't know about you but I know myself and what I gave and what more I can give. So for you to give up on me just because I'm a fucking mess right now and I don't know about you is... shit."

Yunho stays like that, staring at you. Without an ounce of hope for the both of you, obviously.

Eyes of the one who had already long given up on the both of you. Eyes of the one who held nothing of love toward the lady wo cried a river in front of him, who begged him to stay during the lowest part of her life.

"I'm sorry, y/n." Yet he can't bear to hurt you more than you were already hurting. Even if he says every single insult in his vocabulary, he knows you know he wouldn't mean it. He knows that you know he just, as it is, purely, gave up on the both of you because it wasn't working at all between the both of you, right now, an untimely case.

He stands up unhesitatingly, leaving you an umbrella at the side of the table. He mumbles another apology as he takes a step back from your crying figure, finally accepting your fate as you stare out the window rather than seeing him off.

"I wish you well, y/n. I really do. I'm sorry that I can't be... the one." Yunho is a fucking coward. He just is— as he turns his back towards you, with tears finally, without a shame, pour out of his eyes. He can't let you see that side of him as he scurries out of the cafe, to his car in front of the window you longingly stared at.

When he looks back, you were sobbing your life out covered in your hands, and that's when the excruciating pain hit him. He had to clutch his chest to try and lessen the pain.

The pain he had caused. All he wanted to do was run back and engulf you in his arms, but... here we are. The cowardly Jeong Yunho.

Because he left, after all.

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halaboyz · 3 months

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to yours, jongho

ateez busker! jongho x gn! reader fluff, angst wc: 1.8k warnings: injured reader (wheelchair-user and is said, described a few times) a/n: another inspired by one episode in the kdrama called 'tomorrow'; song has no connection to the storyline! only this song was used for the plot in the kdrama itself, and it's good! + lyrics used in the fic are from random songs, i will input it after the fic. thank you!

"How was everyone's day today? It's almost time to finally rest our eyes and end the day. There is a saying by Talmud, that rather regretting things that happened, regret the things that have yet to happen and haven't done yet. The last song for today is..."

The lady behind the radio solemnly introduces the song but it quickly fades as the bus zooms away, leaving you alone under the heavy drops of the pouring rain.

Just there. Sitting on the your wheelchair beside the bus stop, letting yourself get rained on, hopeless, tears mixing with the drops of rain in your cheeks. It was almost midnight and not even going home was on your mind, nor finding a shelter to be under in.

It felt like it was you against the world. The only thing that made you happy, dancing, was now impossible and out of reach just because of a single injury.

You glance at your casted foot and braced knee, prompting more tears to flow out of your eyes. You thought you've ran out of tears when you got your injury, your eyes seemed to always prove you wrong.

Your thoughts come to a stop when someone reaches out an umbrella over you, letting the rain fall on his back. You reluctantly and emotionlessly face the person, quietly asking him what he needed.

Surely, he's not a thief- if he wasn't dumb enough to see you still on your hospital dress.

"I'm busking near Han River tomorrow night, same time. Do you want to come?" He tries to be cheerful as he offered, his voice soft.

"Sorry. I don't have time for that." You turn, ignoring his presence again and facing in front.

"You have a whole day to decide, you shouldn't give me an answer now. It feels like you're not interested and it hurts. Do I look like I'm not a good singer?" He jokes around, but your face doesn't even budge for a small smile. He awkwardly coughs, regaining his composure. "Come on, I'll give you a VIP spot, just for you!"

"I told you I don't have tim-,"

"If you go around the corner of the convenience store there, you'll find me. Not if it's raining this hard, though! I'll have to cancel and move it to the next night. I'm a pretty famous busker there, so make sure you go early! I'm expecting you!" He blabbers, almost not making you understand.

He quickly hands you his umbrella and runs through the rain, crossing the road safely as your eyes only follow him.

When he's out of sight, your eyes trail to his umbrella, yellow brightly lighting under the lamp post.

Tomorrow's another day. Written on one side of the umbrella, with a drawing of a sun plastered beside the words, you sigh.

"Right. Another day."

It felt like it was just a blink. Did you even sleep? You rise on your hospital bed, finally zoning back in reality.

"Good you're awake. I just finished your discharge papers. Secretary Jeong will be outside after you've changed. I need to go to my office for more paperworks. Make sure you're not a pain in the ass like last night." Your mom only carelessly caresses your hair before leaving, leaving you on your bed.

Your eyes trail outside the window, sun brightly beaming its last hour.

You sigh, calling a nurse to help you around to change your clothes instead. When you were done, you were assisted out of the ward in a wheelchair, getting passed onto your family's secretary.

By the time you got home, there was nothing to do but to stare outside the window. Doors locked, eyes were on you 24/7. The sun sets in front of your eyes and it makes you dread the incoming day once again, the moon isn't even up yet.

You hear a knock outside your door, but you didn't bother even answering, knowing all too well that it didn't matter if you did. They'll force their way in, anyway.

"It's Secretary Jeong, y/n, it's late and you haven't taken any meals for today." The second you glance at the clock, it was already eight in the evening. Your eyes go back to the window, and the moon was already up. Although you swore you just saw the sun setting a minute ago. "Do you want anything?"

The secretary doesn't even expect any answer from you, but stays behind you anyway.

"Fresh air. Outside." You simply say, not even glancing at the secretary.

"You know I can't do that."

"Then try not asking next time." The oh-so-sweet attitude of yours was now long gone. As you glared at the window after being ticked-off, Secretary Jeong sighs.

"Fine. As long as this doesn't reach your mom, okay? And please, no wheeling away."

You and Jeong, as you like to call him, drive to the nearest park in your house, which is coincidentally the Han river park.

He takes you around to get the fresh air you've been wanting, holding your wheelchair tightly at all times. You do nothing and plan nothing but to admire the night view, trying to cheer yourself up.

"..Mic check, mic check..." A loud and clear voice followed by numerous cheers perk your interest in one corner of the park, and you let out a small chuckle. Jeong double checks if he hears right, furrowing his brows.

Your eyes wander around and you see the convenience store in another corner, and a forming crowd in another side.

"Right. Can I watch?" You go back to having a poker face, glancing at him. He reluctantly nods and pushes your wheelchair on a side where the crowd can't trample on you, but the singer is visible anyway.

"Then, I'll start now. Please look and listen to us prettily," He smiles and points at the people behind him having cajon and a piano on the side. He looks around first with the goal of finding someone before sighing and prepping.

A rose blossoming among the concrete Please be alive Thrive and grow, don’t snap A blanket of thorns How tough it must’ve been Thank you for standing strong

He starts off solemn, cheery. He gains a few more people to listen and interestingly look at him, singing along and waving along. The lyrics hit you like a brick, making you sigh. You enjoy the way the words flow out of his lips melodically, like it was so easy to do in real life.

“I didn’t want any of this” I can say I can hate but nothing will change Looking back now I see the me with eyes forward Standing strong getting’ by moment to moment Didn’t think much just believed in me ... I’m a rose among the concrete Until this bleak city becomes filled with color I’ll keep my head up, stand my ground until the very end Until they get drunk off of my scent and smile

When he finished the song, he gained a loud cheer and applause, making him shyly succumb behind the thin mic stand while muttering continuous thank you's.

"Okay. That was our first song," He smiles, eyes still looking around. When he finally sees someone sat on a wheelchair just behind the crowd, he finally heaves a sigh of relief and smiles at you. "It's not the end of the world. You can bloom even in the smallest things, unexpected places. You can cry, you can take a break. As long as you don't give up, the world will be a better place."

He doesn't break eye contact as he says everything, smiling at you and then back to the crowd as if he didn't do anything such as change your life by helping you.

"Okay, next song!"

Jeong takes a good look at you, because finally, after weeks, there was a smile on your face and as much as his phone was getting bombarded by your mother's calls, he couldn't care a second.

"Let me finish another song and then we'll wrap up for today. Again, tonight too, it has been Choi Jongho, everybody. Thank you!" All that mattered was his name. He still introduced the ones that came with him, though. You just didn't care.

Though a permanent scar May be the price of holding you I'll give my all to you, to you ... So you won't get any scars, I'll hold you Even when I'm hurt, I'll guard you No need to worry, I'm here for you Look at my smile, it's my all for you When all lights fade When I sink to the ground When I drown in despair I'll still hold you close

"Did you enjoy? I thought you didn't have time?" Jongho, after fixing his things and bidding goodbye to his group, has come and smile brightly at you. "I told you I had a place for you. If you came a it earlier and where I can see you, I would've placed you there beside us."

Jeong only walks a few steps away in confusion for your privacy, still keeping his eyes on you.

"Who did you come with? Who's he?" Jongho curiously looks at the man, and Jeong only looks back. When he gets no answer, he takes his eyes back on you. "Are you that starstruck?"

"Thank you." You smile, "I actually didn't remember until awhile ago, when I was already here and you were already starting. I'm glad I wanted fresh air. I'm glad I was taken here. I'm glad to hear you sing. But most importantly, I'm glad that you had the most melodic voice I ever heard." You joke around, chuckling. He also laughs wholeheartedly, smiling at you.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it too, then."

"Those songs too... Thank you. I'm not saying you sang it for me, but it definitely did its part for me. So thank you, Mister Choi Jongho." He gives you a small smile and extends his hand for you to shake.

"I believe I deserve an incentive." He sharply inhales and glares jokingly at you.

"Oh. Right. I don't have anything on me, but Jeong will." You were about to signal for Jeong when he takes your hand, shaking it.

"I was joking. Your name will do. So let's start again. Hi, I'm Choi Jongho and you're...?" Jongho smiles expectantly, waiting for you.

As your name slips out of your lips, he shakes your hand mumbles a nice to meet you.

"Don't you think you owe me another one for my umbrella?" He shakes his head, looking down on his feet. You chuckle, asking him what he wanted.

"Is it finally money because I can call Jeong,"

"Your number and maybe a few dates?" He mumbles, looking wherever except your eyes.

It takes you a few seconds before you break into a genuine smile, reaching for his phone in his hand.

"There." You give it back to him and he squeals internally, giddily on his toes and checking his phone.

"Okay, maybe that umbrella- I just found it on the lost and found area. But it served great purpose!" You gasp at the confession, finally laughing at your heart's content.

Because finally, even when you thought your world has just been broken down to pieces, an angel has come and saved you.

h1key - rose blossom young k - guard you

*i got all english lyrics from genius!

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halaboyz · 3 months

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to each's, csb

pairing: non-idol! choi soobin x gn! reader genre: angst wc: 614 warnings: pool notes: inspired by a scene in crazy little thing called love (iykyk)

"Oh hey, y/n... You asked for me?" Of course he'd be confused. You just had 3 full conversations with him, all academic-related this whole school year.

You smile, turning to hide the flower you've been hiding. "It's graduation day! I want to congratulate you for surviving high school." You giggle, and Soobin does the same, congratulating you back. "I called you here alone because I needed to tell you something."

"That is?" Soobin cranes his neck, cheeks turning red at the sudden seriousness of your voice.

"From elementary, silly puppy crushes- to puberty, wanting to be prettier, more elegant, and more presentable in front of... you." You meet his eyes, shy as you try to make your smile smaller. "I've done this and that just for you to notice me, Soobin. Maybe it wasn't really enough, but it was okay." Soobin doesn't reply, even make a noise, which prompts you to chuckle. "What I'm trying to say is, Choi Soobin... I like you. Ever since we were first graders, to high school, to now." You finally hand him the flower you've been tightly holding on to, smiling.

Soobin was dumbfounded and red. He doesn't know how to react, nor what to say. He's been fiddling with his fingers, heaving a sigh of relief. Just as he was about to take the flower from your hands, your classmate, Beomgyu, barges inside the gates to the pool area. "Hey Soobin! Your girlfriend's been finding you every... where... Oops..." His voice trailed off when he saw the scene, and you're the one who's speechless now. Beomgyu quietly leaves with a guilty mouth, smacking his head in the process.

"You... had a girlfriend?" You're the one who's speechless now.

"Look, y/n..." Soobin has no idea what to say. His shyness was taking over him at the wrong time, seeing your eyes get watery. He has a lot to say, and a whole damn lot of smacks reserved just for Beomgyu, but nothing escapes out of his lips.

"Oh, no! It's okay, Soobin!" You sniff, plastering a wide smile on your face. "It's fine, oh my god, I'm so sorry." You quickly wipe your tears away and retract your arm, messily throwing the flower with no care inside your bag as you got your things.

"Y/n, no..." He tries to reach for your arm but you softly decline, turning to see him.

"It's fine, Soobin. Just a stupid crush anyway," You start walking backwards, smile not fading one second and tears continuously flowing anyway.

Just another fucking step and you step into liquid, feeling yourself drown for a second before straightening your knees and regathering your senses.

What a fucking embarrassment.

"Y/n, oh my god, are you okay?" While you were wiping your face along with your tears, you see a glance of Soobin attempting to jump into the pool to check on you. You extend your arm to stop him, waving your hands in front of your face to hide from him.

All those pampering throughout the years for this?

"I'm okay, Soobin." You give him a chuckle, to convince him and probably yourself too, that you were fine. You are going to be. You will be, right?

As you made your way out of the area, Soobin stops himself from going after you even though he was very worried about you. He figures how you must've felt, not getting a single word from him and getting in that situation.

He was fuming towards his friend. But more importantly, he regrets.

He regrets not saying a thing despite feeling the same way towards you. Now, he might have just lost his last chance.

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halaboyz · 4 months

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Hi. I just read your Seat filler and A fight for love fic. Will there be a sequel? I really want them to end up together!! 😭

hello!! i am GRATEFUL that you've been stoked for the two fics (everybody ever since it's release has been asking for another sequel) but since i am still working on my slump, which is taking quite a while (it's almost two years? i think) and im slowly getting to write little by little, a sequel is .... last on my list )': also, i've written those fics years ago so a sequel might not just give u the best of ur expectations ): the second one was also just a request of many so i made it like that ,,

but fearnot !! there's still a chance (if i recover from this slump) that i may also go for a not-so-sequel (another can-be stand-alone fic) for those sunwoo fics, just not now nor sooner )):

BUT AGAIN THANK YOU !! <33

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halaboyz · 4 months

Text

backburner, sunwoo

the boyz sunwoo x gn! reader angst wc: 2k warnings: drinking a/n: ...hello

One, two, three.

You don't know when you started counting, but it felt like it's only been a day.

It's been weeks.

It's been weeks- two, to be specific, when he last messaged you. Not that it matters; you only wanted to know whether he's dead or alive.

Right?

That's how it has always been.

"Can you..." Sua begrudgingly turns your phone facing the table, incoherently swearing, "...please stop looking at your phone?! It's been weeks, for heaven's sake!"

"Sorry." And it's been a waterfall of apologies for your friend. "I'm just worried."

"That's the problem! You're always worried about him, but the fuck does he even do for you?" Sua sighs, getting ready for the hundredth talk about your situationship. "He messages you when it's convenient for him. Meanwhile you, you're ready to drop even the biggest things just for him! Is a screw gone loose in your head?"

"Sua, I know. Believe me... I know. I just... I don't know." You could only sigh back, not having any words to explain the right feeling. But you swore you know, you just don't know how to explain it.

"The fuck are you saying? Hey, look. I'm sorry for the choice of words but... aren't you a bit sorry for yourself? One, you missed a project deadline because he wanted you to pick him up from a bar because he was dead drunk, what is he, a kid? Two, you missed four plates from, let me emphasize, one subject- a major one that is! Just because he was crying and only wanted you to have to talk some sense to him, about another person! And three, and I hope it is the last, you managed to fail a minor subject because you didn't get to pass the only activity you've been nonstop doing for weeks, just because when the day of the deadline hit, your Sunwoo was borderline dead because of his flu. Again, what is he, a kid?!"

Sua was indeed fuming. Besides the fact that she just rambled, she was red in anger. Yet you stayed quiet because... she was right.

Nothing she said was wrong, everything she said was on point.

Yet why... why does it feel like you can and will do it all over again, when it came to Sunwoo?

While you calmed her down with a stroke in the hand, mumbling continuous apologies, you bring her a glass of water and assist her to the bed.

"I get it, I get it. Come on, it's our pajama night in months, let's just not talk about it." You coo, trying to get her back to her good mood.

Well, not until your phone vibrated.

You jumped off the bed in a flash, checking your phone.

sw: asjkdlalkklj

The single message was all it took before you rang his phone, took your coat and wore your running shoes, shouting an apology to your friend and getting your keys in an instant.

"Hello?" An unfamiliar voice picks the phone up, "This is the bar's manager. We've only got to open his phone right now, but it has been an hour since we've been trying to get mister to go home. We're letting this off the hook since he's a regular." The manager doesn't even give you a second before he drops the bar's details, and hanging up the phone.

You sigh, starting your car's engines and chuckling when you see Sua peeking out of your window and throwing you a middle finger, before you drove off.

You immediately, shamefully bow your head to apologize at the staff while you scram your way to Sunwoo, who had his head down at the counter and lips smacking continuously as if still savoring the bitter taste of the alcohol he had just been drinking.

You sigh, it all felt like deja vu.

"Sunwoo." You shake his shoulders, careful not too much in case he vomits on your car like the first time. "Come on, I'll get you home. I just need you to wake up for a minute."

"No!" He swats your hand away with his eyes closed, facing the other way. "Not going... until y/n's here..."

You sigh again. You thought, is it even going to be the same person you're finding when you're sober?

Swallowing the lump on your throat, you ease up a smile and lower your back to his level.

"I'm here. It's y/n." You pat his back and he gets his one eye open to peek at you. He inevitably bursts into the biggest smile and jumps at you.

"It's y/n! y/n is here!" He sing-sang and you finally get ahold of him, bowing once again for the man as you assist him back to your car. "I missed you."

Sure he did. When he's drunk.

"Sunwoo, here, drink some water first." You hand him a newly opened bottle of water, tugging on his jacket as he tightly hugs the seatbelt.

"I don't want to," He whines, keeping his arms away from you.

"Please?" With a coo, Sunwoo finally takes the bottle and gulps it at once, giving you the empty bottle back as he succumbs to the warmth of your carseat.

You sigh. Again. The things you're willing to do for a man who only needs you.

Sunwoo stirs on his sit, eyes squinting everywhere.

"Sober?" You put your phone back to your pocket after writing Sua a long paragraph apologizing.

"Oh, y/n." He giggles, moving in his seat to face you. "Hi."

"Can I drive now? I don't want you vomiting all over the place because of your motion sickness."

"How long have you been waiting?" You hand him another bottle of water, finally starting the engine.

"Almost an hour."

"That long? I'm sorry," Sunwoo coos, reaching for your resting arm. He caresses it sweetly and you don't give an effort to avoid it. "How's my y/n been doing?"

"Bad. I've been missing you." You reply with no hesitation, eyes not leaving the road. You've always been this honest with him, it wasn't something new you spoke your feelings.

"Oh. Sorry about that. Just busy," Sunwoo gives you a small smile, retracting his warm hand. It didn't make sense that every time Sunwoo made an excuse of ghosting you, you still believe him.

Why?

Because the moment he gets drunk, he thinks of you.

At least, he thinks of you.

"Can I stay at yours for the night? I don't feel like staying alone tonight." Sunwoo changes the topic while you stop at a red light, raising your brows at him. "Please?" His playful whine makes you chuckle, giving in.

Times like this he didn't need to give you an explanation.

No- actually, if it came to Sunwoo, you didn't need anything. Explanation, excuses, reasons, anything. If it was Sunwoo, you'd drop everything for him.

Because who were you kidding? This is Sunwoo we're talking about.

"Hey, we're here." You shake his shoulder lightly after turning the engine off, smiling at him. "Can you walk?"

"Of course, you're talking to Sunwoo." He chuckles, removing the seatbelt.

He can't. He was too drowsy to eve take a step out. So you had to assist him by the arm until you're inside the flat, making him lay on the bed.

You prepare a warm water and a towel to wipe Sunwoo's face when you notice a note stuck by the magnet on the refrigerator, written by your lovely friend.

Next time I see you get ready for an ice cold bath from yours truly, in hopes of trying to get you in touch with reality.

PS: schedule another pajama night or you're dead !!!

You chuckle as you hide the note behind another bigger note, getting what you came for in the kitchen and another glass of water and his medicine to take when he wakes up.

You gently place the warm-wet towel on his forehead, waiting for any reaction to get nothing so you continue to wipe his face, and next his hands.

When you were done, getting up from beside him, you felt him swiftly tug your middle finger.

"You're going to sleep beside me, right?"

"Huh?" Sunwoo's eyes open for a second and close again, as if only to confirm it was you beside him.

"Your curtain's scary. Please sleep beside me. The couch is uncomfortable to sleep on, too."

"I sleep there all the time, Sunwoo. It's fine,"

"Not you. Me. You're not letting me sleep there, and I'm not letting you sleep there. So let's stay here together." Sunwoo's nonchalance is breaking you to pieces.

If it wasn't the nth time did this to you, you yourself know that if it was the past you, you would be feeling all over the place and giddy, above all that.

But no. This time around, it was breaking you to pieces.

Because this time, realizations come to mind.

Like how it wasn't all a big deal for him. This. All of this. Like it was all normal between... friends. Or are you even friends? Borderline lovers?

Whatever you two are- it was clear. He didn't feel the same way you do. He doesn't look at you the same way you do.

"Okay." But you're fine with it. "I will." You will always be fine with it.

And that's the problem with you.

When it came to Sunwoo, you will always fold.

"Okay. Let me get some sleep first okay? Make sure you come sleep beside me!" He giddily makes himself comfortable inside the blanket, going to dreamland with a smile.

Leaving you with a forced one.

You only sigh as you clean yourself up, washing your face with cold water and looking at yourself in the mirror. "You're pathetic." You whisper, feeling disappointed of yourself.

The people around you took good care of you fondly up until now, and you let yourself be pathetic over one guy who only contacts you when it's convenient for him? You remember Sua's words perfectly, because that's where it hit home.

You grew up with so much love and care, yet you fail to see your worth over one guy.

You heave another heavy sigh, opening your eyes to trace Sunwoo's facial features with your eyes.

"How come it had to be you?" You whisper, stopping your tears before it even dropped.

And just like that, the night continued.

Sunwoo wakes up at around 6 in the morning because of his phone continuously vibrating inside his jacket, grabbing it with his free hand to take the call.

Before he answers, he takes a good look at you and chucked. Sunwoo ended up hogging the whole blanket (you rather gave everything to him) so you were snuggling beside him, making his other arm your personal pillow.

He carefully places you down to the pillow and covers you with a blanket, letting the ring end and going outside the bedroom to call back.

After the phone call, he sneaks back in the bedroom to see you soundly sleeping, taking his things and leaving a note on your bedside table.

He takes a while as he stares at you, giving you a small smile.

He knows what he's done, what he's been doing- yet he can't stop. He loves the thrill, he loves the feeling that someone is willing to do everything for him. That's it.

But that doesn't mean he didn't feel sorry for you, for what he has been doing with you. And it doesn't mean he doesn't feel sorry that he can't return your feelings.

He knows, of course. Only a rock wouldn't know how you felt towards him.

"I'm sorry this time too, y/n." He caresses your cheeks before leaving, making sure to lock your door.

After a few minutes, you sniff your tears away right in the morning.

"Sorry, huh." You chuckle bittersweetly, looking at the note he left for you.

I'm going out with Chanyi today, she asked me to breakfast! Thank you y/n, sorry I had to leave early, you were sleeping cutely~

I'll contact you!

And with that, your getaway was done.

Your bed was left empty, your apartment empty,

and you, empty.

But you knew you'd do it all over again.