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oh-so-scenarios · 4 years

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ᴛʜᴇ sᴇʀᴇɴᴅɪᴘɪᴛʏ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪɴɢs...♠| 12

⤖ ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴀs ᴛɪᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ sᴏᴜʟᴍᴀᴛᴇs? Jᴜɴɢ Hᴏsᴇᴏᴋ ɪs ᴛᴏᴏ ʙᴜsʏ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ʜɪs ᴍᴀғɪᴀ ɴᴇᴛᴡᴏʀᴋ. Hᴇ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇʀᴇɴᴅɪᴘɪᴛʏ ᴏғ ʜɪs sᴏᴜʟᴍᴀᴛᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ʜɪᴍ…ʀɪɢʜᴛ?

⤖ Mᴀғɪᴀ Lᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ Hᴏsᴇᴏᴋ x ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ Fᴇᴍᴀʟᴇ Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, sᴏᴜʟᴍᴀᴛᴇ!ᴀᴜ

Warnings: Violence, mentions of death, blood, Smut.

This is a Hoseok POV recap chapter. Everything moves in order, it starts back at their first meeting all the way to chapter 11. A lot of time jumps.

****Please ignore any errors! (Word Count: 15.6K)

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Hoseok’s POV:

What the fuck? What the fuck? I’m certain that the disdain wasn’t visible on my face, but my injuries were the least of my problem. My eyes stayed focused on the medical degree that hung up on her wall, avoiding her curious gaze.

This week has been a shit fest and it’s gotten worse.

I let Yoongi convince me that Jungkook was able to handle a heavy mission on his own. I don’t know why I allowed myself to be swayed. I knew he couldn’t handle it. Jungkook has the muscle, but lacks the ability to hide what he's thinking. His face gives a way his emotions, and I should have known better.

We lose contact with him, only to hear some woman say she’s taking him to the hospital? Oh great. I was already trying to gather a plan to explain why this 22 year old man was shot in the side. Along with questions as to why the CEO of Jung Inc was the guardian of this man. It would all unravel as the noisy police dig into Jungkook’s past.

They’d try to find his parents, and ultimately trace it back to my father. I could see it all unfolding in my head.

We were left in the dark all night, calling different hospitals to see if that idiotic female had checked him into the ER. We called every hospital within a 60 mile radius and came up empty. I couldn’t sleep that night, worried that our youngest Jungkook had gotten himself into trouble.

I don’t underestimate women. They are capable of just as much damage as any man, they’re just sneaky about it. I've learned from experience.

At 3 in the morning, Jimin gets a call from Jungkook’s phone and it’s the same woman. She’s a surgeon. Jungkook is one lucky man. I didn’t want much contact with whoever she was. But she did save Jungkook. I decided to give her some money, since she was smart enough to ask no questions.

But the mission we entered today went left, having things get ugly. We were outnumbered and unprepared, leaving us with injuries. We’re usually prepared enough to tackle issues without violences, but since Seok’s mafia presence has been more low-key, other smaller illegal organizations are acting up.

I spoke to her for less than 30 seconds, but vaguely remember the tugging of the red string wrapped around my pinky. I groaned my eye at the thing, remembering the few times it’s done that in the past.

I don’t have time for such foolish things. Soulmate? Who could be cursed enough to be matched with them? The appearance of soulmates almost 200 years ago is explained as something wonderful. A guide from whatever power is above us. I used to believe that bullshit. When I was younger, the thought of a soulmate made my heart race.

I’d gaze at my parents with twinkling eyes, knowing that I was a product of...love. True love. I hold some resentment and disgust for my younger self. The signs were clearly there. That my mother wasn’t happy, and that my dad was sick.

I was too focused on my childish things. That was thanks to my mother. I could vomit mentioning any sort of thanks to that woman, but she was the one holding off my father’s training to take his place.

My older sister, who I haven’t spoken to in years, was sent off to leave with a distant family member. Who knows what she’s up to.

I see now that the appearance of soulmates was simply the universe’s sick attempt at regaining control over humans. I watch people hopelessly drop everything for this stranger, simply because a red string is linking them together. That won’t be me.

Why do I have to put up with a person because some unseen force decided that we are good together? The stories of meeting your soulmate, falling in love, getting married and starting a family are just that, stories. Such a thing isn’t possible for me. I can barely keep the company of real friends, who am I to keep a lover?

I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes, seeing her rushing back into the living room with a black bag. She starts laying out her tools, and despite the slight shaking of her hands, she seemed to know what she was doing.

She was afraid. As she should be. But we were desperate. We never had the need for a doctor, since we avoided getting hurt. But here we are. Our youngest Jungkook was worried, staring at his injured hyungs with wide eyes.

So when he said he knew where we could go, I should have known I would end up at the apartment of the crazy surgeon that was eager to save the injured boy she found in an alleyway.

The tugging of the red string when I spoke to her on the phone now makes sense.

I averted my gaze to the white ceiling, trying to figure out what I was going to do. She’s seen our faces, and she knows we’re criminals. I don’t want to deal with another dead body. Plus she lives in an apartment building. I don’t know how close she is with her neighbors, but with an important job such as a surgeon, her absence would be noticed quickly.

“So who is going first?” She calls out after finishing her set up. When I look at her, she’s staring at the different faces in the room. Her eyes don’t match the tremble in her voice. She looks...uninterested? And annoyed.

“You’re not going to ask any questions?” I ask. She sighs, being the one to avoid eye contact this time. She fidgets to slip gloves on, and dipping her tool in alcohol.

“I don’t have time to ask questions.” She says harshly, only meeting my gaze for a second.

Though she’s asking for little information, the guys begin to open their big mouths, giving out more information than needed. They’re digging me into a bigger hole. When it’s out that we’re criminals, the look of dread is hard to miss. I see the wheels turning in her head, and I wonder if she’s thinking of contacting the police.

She can’t be that stupid right?

Without another word, she calls Yoongi forward first and starts to tend to his wounds. I hiss quietly as the fabric of my shirt rubs against the cut on my chest. The blood had dried, but a slight movement caused a tearing pain.

I keep my eyes on her while she works. Soulmate huh? I look down at the side of my pinky and notice her initials suddenly printed there.

The universe did a trash job. A doctor of all people? It’s like a healed wound is being reopened and left to bleed. The longer I stared at her, the angrier I got. At least she’s not ugly, but a doctor? Surgeon?

I didn’t realize I was glaring at her till Jin hit my leg, making me look his way. He didn’t speak, but the question in his eyes were clear. I could only scoff, before closing my eyes to try to relax.

I heard shuffling of feet as she patched up the next person. She’d run into the kitchen with her tools, do some type of clearing process and come back with clean gloves and tools. When she leaves again, Taehyung leans towards me.

“Boss, what are you going to do about her?” He keeps his voice low.

“I say that we hire her.” Jungkook adds, making my eyes snap open. I glare at him but he only grins back.

“Hire her?” I repeat.

“That’s really smart. She could be our personal doctor? Didn’t you say that you wanted to get into black market surgeries? Now you can. That way we could keep any eye on her.” Jin added, giving Jungkook a friendly pat on the head.

Keep an eye on her? I think for a moment.

“I mean…” Jungkook trails off, “you weren’t thinking of killing her were you? She did save my life.” He stares at me with big doe eyes. I close my eyes again, leaning back to relax.

“She’s going to help you next boss, you’re the only one left.” Jimin whispers as her footsteps approach us.

~!~

I march into the headquarters with the others trailing behind me. I set my gun down on the round table and look towards the white board. The plan of our failed mission written in blue marker.

“So that went to shit.” I mutter to myself, searching for the white board eraser. I am not one to dwell on a failure like that for long. We need to move onto the next mission. As I wiped off the board, the hushed words of the guys behind me were hard to ignore.

“What? Do you have something to say?” I snap, turning around to face them. The whispers stopped as everyone stared in silence

“So...your soulmate is a doctor.” Jimin starts, the smile he was trying to hide breaking through. Another silence followed Jimin’s words before Namjoon chimed in.

“That’s ironic, but she’s cute. Good for you boss.”

My bitter chuckle doesn’t stop the onslaught of congratulations. I couldn’t tell if they were joking or not but I wasn’t in the mood.

“Were you guys not in her apartment just 30 minutes ago? You know...when I told her I didn’t want any sort of relationship with her? I made it clear that all I can offer her is work.”

For guys who looked battered up an hour ago, their humor was still intact. They knew better than expect happiness from me for something as stupid as soulmates.

“I think it’s cute,” Jimin voices, smiling widely at me.

“I don’t really care.” Yoongi said calmly, “As long as she doesn’t get in the way of work, it doesn’t matter.”

“Exactly.” I agreed with Yoongi, “I’ll just have her work for us. She’s already seen our faces and I can’t have her telling anyone about what happened tonight.”

“But boss,” Namjoon said seriously, pulling out a chair to sit at the circular table. His eyes were serious, and I crossed my arms over my chest, knowing that Namjoon was going to drill me with some serious concerns.

His brows furrowed and he looked down at the table for a moment as the others also took seats at the circular table.

“Did you hear bells?” He asked, looking at me with raised eyebrows.

I blink at the unexpected question, my mind moving too slow to process what he said.

“What?”

“Did you hear bells when you saw Y/n? They say that if you hear bells when you meet your soulmate, it’s a true love match! That the universe did it’s best work when putting you and your soulmate together.”

I don’t answer him, searching for the dry erase marker to start the plans for the next mission.

“I guess he didn’t.” Namjoon says under his breath. But as I write out the information on the board, a heavy feeling sets on my shoulders.

So I wasn’t going crazy when those bells were ringing in my ears?

True love? Gross and impossible.

~!~

“Y/n works at Seoul Sky hospital?” I exclaim, staring at the papers Namjoon set on my desk. I had Namjoon dig up some information on Y/n. She was hesitant about taking the offer I laid down, so I need some type of leverage. Maybe she has a criminal record or something she is hiding.

Of course a woman like her is squeaky clean. She comes from a pretty good family. Her mother was a doctor and her father was a successful businessman. Not crazy money but better than most people. She graduated high school early and went right into pre-med. Grades are good, the record is clean and not deep dark secrets.

But she works at Seoul Sky hospital. That poor excuse of a hospital where my father passed. It’s perfect. I could keep an eye on her from work.

“When is the next chairman’s meeting?” I ask with a smirk on my lips. Namjoon’s ears perk up and he stares back at me with wide eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair, stifling a laugh.

“You’re actually going to attend one? You said you wanted to be an anonymous investor?”

I didn’t answer Namjoon right away, plotting just what I was going to do when I got to the hospital.

“Call whoever you need to call and tell them I’m coming to visit the hospital tomorrow. They should have all preparations ready and I’d like to meet with the other directors to discuss the additional funding.” I state, trying to hide the smirk playing on my lips.

Oh this is gonna be fun!

And just like I thought, it was fun. I strolled through the hospital, ignoring the long speeches each department head was giving me. I didn’t care. I don't care about this hospital or any of the damn doctors. If I could burn this place to the ground, I would. The land could be used for something more useful.

Not a hospital that seems to hire incompetent doctors who allow emotions to cloud the work they are doing. I became a director for this hospital in hopes that my mother and that stupid man she ran off with, would return. I don’t know what I will do when they return, but it wouldn’t be a warm welcome.

We walked through the hallways, patients and nurses all staring as we walked. My instructions of a casual hospital tour were ignored, seeing as I had all the department heads following behind me. Yes, I was tuned out to whatever this man was saying.

I think his name is Dr. Lee, I could hear the soft whispers of those behind me.

“He’s handsome isn’t he?” One female doctor says.

“I know right? He seems so intense and studious. Being loved by a man like that is the best.” The other one says.

Namjoon chuckles form beside me, also hearing the nonsense that those two were saying. I throw a glare at him before bringing my attention back to Dr. Lee.

“Do you think I should try to make conversation with him?” The same doctors whisper. I roll my eyes.

God, I hope they don’t. I am not one for aimless conversation. The last thing I want to do is date a doctor. Actually I don’t want to date at all. My work has become my everything and I can’t see myself making room for anything else. But I can only speak for myself.

I wonder how the guys feel about this. If they want to get married, have a family. I haven’t heard them say anything about such things. Hell, I don’t think they’ve even had girlfriends. I don’t expect them to share such information. Years ago I told them to keep personal life things away from work. I didn’t want to hear anything about their personal lives.

I don’t want to try to rebuild the friendships we had. It’s too late. They were forced to stay by my side, so I’m sure all that’s left is animosity. They do pretty well hiding it, but I can’t say I’m integrated into their friend group.

You’d think we’d be closer with how often we are together.

My thoughts stopped short as an already familiar figure came into view. She was standing there with a co-worker of hers. Jennie. I did some digging on those close to her here in Korea. It seems that Jennie is her only friend.

Dr. Lee looked over at the two women, and back at me. The other doctors did the same, my gaze on them catching attention. I noticed Namjoon clear his throat, but my lips turned up into a smirk. I walked ahead of Dr. Lee, closer to Y/n and Jennie.

“Gossiping is more fun in person!” Jennie exclaims.

“Oh is it?” I break into their chit chat. Both women grow stiff at my voice, and turn around to bow at a 90 degree angle. I keep my eyes on Y/n who hasn’t recognized me yet.

“Gossiping is what the doctors of Seoul Sky do?” I question.

I ignore Dr. Lee’s protest to me words and watch Y/n stand straight, only to gawk at me with wide eyes. Oh, her reactions are always so fun.

She takes a small step back, bumping into Jennie who looks lost. I watch her eyes dart over my face, the concern flashing in her eyes is clear. Even at a time like this, you’re being caring? It was easy to tell that she was checking for the cuts that were on my face 5 days ago.

But with how she cared to the wounds, there shouldn’t be much scarring. A little powder covered them right up. I wasn’t going to appear in front of people looking cut up.

She looks more official in her white doctor’s coat. I could tell she was official when I saw the work she did on Jungkook, but seeing her in that white coat felt different. A bubbling in my chest made me feel angry at her. That white coat makes me even angrier.

But I kept the smile on my face, aware of the eyes watching our tense exchange.

Dr. Lee introduced the two doctors to me, and had some pointless banter with Jennie while Y/n tried her hardest to keep the glare off her face.

I stared back at her, hoping that my message was loud and clear.

You can’t run from me.

~!~

“She’s not going to call.” Namjoon said as we walked into the headquarter’s lobby.

I give him a pointed look, slipping off my green suit coat and draping it onto one of the chairs at the circle table.

Jungkook, Yoongi and Taehyung also sat at the circular table. Each person was occupied by something else. Taehyung was reading a book, Yoongi typed away on his laptop while Jungkook stared at his dimly lit phone screen.

Jungkook only looks up from his phone for a second, telling me that he’s distracted by some game. His mouth was gaping open as he concentrated.

“She’ll call. I’m sure she’s a smart girl.” I said to Namjoon, unbuttoning my cuffs and rolling up the sleeves.

“Who are you talking about?” Yoongi questioned, his tone showing little to no interest.

“Who else would he be talking about?” Taehyung jeers before snickering, “When was the last time Boss talked about a woman that wasn’t just a one night stand?” Taehyung grins at me and goes back to reading.

“He snatched her up, pulled her into an empty room and pushed her up against a wall.”

“O,” Jungkook coos, “kinky.”

I roll my eyes at the youngest’s cheeky smile.

“She’s dragging this out. I already have the operation place set up, and I’m already searching for her assistant. I gave her 2 days. If she’s smart, she’ll call. It would be a pain to get rid of her.”

Jungkook sets his phone on the table, a pout of defeat playing on his lips.

“Why don’t you just leave her be? I don’t think she’ll tell anyone. Plus you can just keep an eye on her at the hospital? There is no need to drag her into black market work.”

Everyone looks at Jungkook as he shrugged after expressing his opinion, ‘You would just be exposing her to more stuff if you bring her into work with you.”

I stared at Jungkook in silence, not sure what to say. He has a point. I could just keep an eye on her from the hospital. I know where she leaves, I know where she works and I know all her friends. She can't escape.

So...why do I need her here again?

“It’s okay if you just want her close, we won’t judge you.” Yoongi says in the same uninterested tone.

“It’s not that.” I defended myself.

Yoongi shrugs in a sluggish manner, “It’s okay if you want to keep her around. She’s your soulmate after all.”

I glare at Yoongi for a moment, “I’ve had black market surgeries on my to-do list. So I’m killing two birds with one stone.”

“There’s no urge to be near Y/n? You know that soulmate connection?” Taehyung asks, folding the page he was reading and closing the book.

I feigned some deep thought before shaking my head. Connection? I didn’t feel anything towards her. I was surprised to see that red string connect to someone else, and after that was a sense of dread and anger.

“I think I’ve had better connections with brick walls.”

The fake hisses of pain are followed by comments.

“Heartless!”

“Ouch!”

I walked around to one of the smaller desks that were across the room. I grabbed a familiar grey folder and placed it on the circle table, opening it to see what was in there.

The folder was thick, and had things I had to take care of. No matter how much work we did, I don’t think there’d ever be a day this folder would be empty.

I remember thinking why was my father always so busy? He always said he had no time, and at a certain point, I thought he was lying. I often misunderstood it being an excuse to avoid doing something with me.

My father was present in my life, and he was a kind man. Too kind. He taught me to give people chances, pertaining to things outside of work. Although my father wasn’t obvious about his work, I’d say he was more violent.

He was harsher. The slightest glimpse of weakness would be eliminated. When it came to work, he didn’t allow room for mistakes or failure. Yet, he was caring and understanding with the family, and all things outside of work. He stupidly trusted my mother 100%. Would tell me they were the world’s best example of true love.

Guess he and my other were on different pages.

I scanned over all the items that needed to be completed. The Charity Gala robbery, recapture of money from a bad trade off, some drug trades in Japan and a cop that has been snooping around asking about Seok. Those are the main focus as of now. At least those are the things that will require either my attention or the whole team.

Each one of the guys have things they do separately. Those usually go smoothly.

I groan and run my fingers through my hair, “Where is Jimin?” I ask.

“He finished that one debt collection and headed home. He said he was done for the week.” Namjoon said.

“Call him and Seokjin up. Tomorrow is gonna be a busy day. We’re gonna go take care of the Ryu deal, and if Y/n is as predictable as I think she is, she’ll call me tomorrow.”

“Or she’ll run off to a different country.” Namjoon says under his breath.

I almost chuckle at the comment, knowing Y/n couldn’t be that idiotic.

~!~

“Mr. Ryu, I really don’t want to do this!” I yelled as I tucked my gun into the waistband of my pants. I stepped over the dead and injured bodies of his men, while Jimin and Yoongi flanked me, with their guns pointed at the older man.

He stood with his back pressed against the wall of his own hideout. They’re a small organization with strong connections to Russia. I took a risk working with them, and it blew up in my face. The trade off is what landed Jungkook with a bullet grazing his side. It was supposed to be a one man hand off, but Mr. Ryu brought all his men and ran off with the money.

He had to know we’d come for him sooner or later.

We were able to take out all his men in a silent manner. He let his guard down, not truly knowing who he was messing with. He didn’t know he was dealing with Seok’s organization. It was a test of loyalty and he failed. Blood was starting to pool on the concrete floor. Harsh and shallow breaths from a few men who hadn’t died yet was all that could be heard.

“I have the money! I’ll get you the money!” His pleas echo through the warehouse, and I could hear the way it’s straining his vocal chords. His thin grey hair was unruly. Evidence of his fingers racking through it repeatedly. His suit is disheveled and stained.

I stopped my slow walk towards the man, leaving me about 5 yards from him. Yoongi and Jimin didn’t stop their slow parade with their guns up.

I sighed, “This could have been easier if you did that the first time!”

“Boss!” Someone calls from behind us. I don’t have to turn around to know it’s Namjoon.

“We found the money! It’s all there.” Mr. Ryu doesn’t leave my line of sight, but I nod in response.

“See!” Mr. Ryu rushes out desperately, “The money is there! Take it! It was never taken out of the suitcase!”

I click my teeth and fake disappointment, “I don’t leave loose ends Mr. Ryu. You’ve already seen my face.”

His body trembles in fear, his face growing red with every second, “Who are you?!”

“Why tell a dead man such important information?” I mutter taking a step forward when my phone dings. I pause for a moment, kicking myself for not silencing it.

I don’t miss the eye roll from Yoongi, “Gosh boss, you can’t silence your phone?”

“He’s been waiting for a call from his lovely Y/n,” Jimin jokes, re-gripping his gun.

I dug into my pocket to see a number I didn’t recognize texting me.

[8:34 PM] Unknown: Hello ...?

“Of course he answers it at a time like this!” Seokjin shouts. It seems he’s standing further behind us with Namjoon.

“Now is not the time!”

It has to be Y/n. This is my personal phone number, and she’s the only one who’d have it.

[?:?? PM] Hoseok: Be at this address in 20 minutes.

Due to the bad service, the text message takes it’s time sending. I shove it back into my pocket and stride towards the man.

“Let’s be quick about this old man.” I slip my fingerless leather gloves tighter on my hand.

“Please don’t!” He slides down the wall and lands on his butt so he’s sitting. I kick him in the gut, and he hunches over. I take the chance to place one hand on his forehead, and another on his chin. I swiftly made a turning motion, snapping his neck.

His body goes limp and falls over.

“Let’s go.” I call out just as my phone dings again. We start leaving the warehouse, and I dig into my pocket.

[8:43 PM] Unknown: Could we do this tomorrow?

Does she think this is a hair appointment? Does she not understand what she is getting into?

~!~

I watch Y/n move around the operation room and I think I’m seeing excitement? She giggles and let her fingers graze the tables. Her eyes are lighting up with joy. What a weird one. But this is the first time I’ve seen just an expression on her face.

“This is the type of stuff you get excited about?” I tease.

To my surprise, she smiles at me. A genuine smile. It’s like the fear from earlier was non existent. Is she not worried being alone with me? She doesn’t know anything about me! I could be an awful guy, well I am a bad guy, but I’ll never force myself on someone.

She doesn’t know that, but here she is. Leaving herself open and vulnerable to me.

“We all can’t be making big money like you, Hoseok. How can you live life if you can’t appreciate the small things?”

She wasn’t expecting a reply from me, seeing as she turned her attention back to the operation room. She starts rummaging through the cabinets.

“Fresh and new tools, all with the potential of helping and saving someone. It’s thrilling.” She mumbles.

Is it? I think.

“...to me.” She adds as if she could hear my thoughts.

“You’ll have an assistant--”

“An assistant?”

I hate when people cut me off. Let me finish my sentence.

“Yes. She isn’t a surgeon like you, however she does know about lab work and pharmaceutical things…”

I go through the rest of the details. All the things I can remember from the file Jimin handed me earlier today. I pretended I didn’t see her eyes moving from up and down my body.

It can’t be helped, I’m an attractive man.

I take this time to get a good look at her face, feeling like I haven’t really looked at her time now.

She’s not ugly, that’s for sure.

“You are a part of this team now, I will hold you to the same standard as the others. I will treat you the same as the others. Do not--” She cuts me off again.

She’s going to make this a habit.

“--expect any special treatment because you are my soul mate. You don’t have to say that every day Hoseok. I’m not stupid.”

Those puppy dog eyes she was giving me that first night we met told me otherwise. She has to be one of those girls that has a skewed preselection of her soulmate. Fairytale ending with Prince Charming. That unrealistic expectation is why people act so stupidly.

“Isn’t that how that soulmate thing works?” I retorted, “Once someone finds their soulmate they lose the ability to think straight? They throw out common sense and only make decisions based on their selfish wimps and wants pertaining to their soulmates?”

A bitter aftertaste grows on my tongue after speaking those words. She’s quiet for a while. I watch her eyebrows scrunch up in confusion before she speaks again, “W-well that’s not me!”

“Do not worry about any sort of feelings getting in the way. I am not swayed so easily.”

Sure.

~!~

Bugging Y/n at working is starting to be something I look forward to. Her reactions are too funny. The grimace on her face as she slowly stand s to her feet and bows like the rest of her co-workers, making me want to laugh.

You can always tell what she’s thinking by her facial expression. I dropped by the hospital for some paperwork, and decided to see if I could find Y/n around.

Just to mess with her of course. She’s the one that wanted me to keep my distance at her workplace, so I have to do the opposite.

“Are you still mad at me?” I say, noticing the curious looks from her co-workers.

“Hello Mr. Jung.” She replies.

“Hello, doc.” I take in her standing there in that awful white jacket, quite different from how she was dressed at headquarters.

“You really clean up nice for work.” I grin at her and manage to get a few light jabs at her before letting the cat out the bag in front of her co-workers. I know the gossip will spread around the hospital, and it’s for the best. I don’t want any of our conversations being questioned.

If people see us talking at the hospital, they’ll just see it as flirting and a quick couple’s chat.

After I took a seat, her friend Jennie was carrying most of the conversation. Y/n would just look at me with distaste and sigh, leaning back in her seat. It’s not till Jennie brings her back into the conversation that Y/n says something.

The true displeasure Y/n was showing me came off as a cute couple bantering to Jennie.

“Don’t let Y/n’s awful behavior scare you away!” Jennie exclaims. I lean in closer to Y/n, forgetting just how close out chairs were to each other.

Oh, she smells amazing. Odd thing to notice but, when I got in close enough I caught a whiff of something pleasant. I placed a hand on her knee, causing her body to tense up and her eyes to widen.

“Thankfully, I don’t scare too easily.” I joke back to Jennie.

Has...has Y/n never felt a man’s touch? She froze up like an inexperienced teenager. Oh this is too good! I move my hand up an inch and hear her let out a shaky exhale. I look at her and start to caress her thigh with my thumb. She shivers.

I announce that I’m leaving and decide to really add the cherry on top. Since half of the lunchroom was already watching, might as well give them a show. My hand smoother slides from her thigh to the small of her back. I lean in closer, bringing my lips to her ear.

Her warmth is...welcoming.

“Doc,” I whisper. I inhale softly, taking in the alluring perfume she has on.

“I’ll need you tonight.” I say a little louder. The gasps from the women listening in was exactly what I wanted. She shivers again.

“Oh wow, was that a little tremble I saw?”

She rolls her eyes and I almost want to laugh at the animated action.

“Doc, these little reactions of yours are so amusing...I can’t help but mess with you like this.” I reason.

“I can’t stand you.” She hisses back.

Oh if only she knew how that white coat of hers makes my skin crawl. I can’t stand it or her. But at least she’s proving herself useful.

I am barely out of the lunchroom when my phone buzzes in my pocket. Why does it feel like I can still smell Y/n? Like she left a lingering print on me.

I answer my phone, “Hello?”

“We have a problem!” Taehyung shouts into my ear. I wince at the volume of his voice and quickly look at my surroundings. No one is really looking my way, so I lower my voice and continue down the hallway.

“What’s up?”

“The cop! The cop that has been trying to find info on Seok! We found her!”

I raised my eyebrows, “That’s great Taehyung! What’s wrong with that?”

“She’s the one we hired as Y/n’s assistant.”

My power stride stopped immediately. Just great! Sometimes I wonder if my father made this many mistakes! How could that have gotten past me?

“We did a background check and everything. She was clean.” I said through clenched teeth.

“She took on someone else’s identity! We did all we could! But at least we sniffed it out before she met you in person. What should we do?”

I started my stroll down the hallway again, checking for anyone who may be listening in.

“Do you have her? Like in your custody?”

Taehyung is quiet, “Should we?” He drags out.

“Well she’s already seen your faces! She’s seen Namjoon! Namjoon has been seen as the bodyguard for Jung Hoseok, the CEO of Jung Funding.” I groan, pinching my nose and whispering the next order.

“You gotta get her. I don’t know how, but you have to before they connect the dots. We don’t know how many team members she has helping her. But get her and bring her to the headquarters. We’ll have to get information out of her, then tie the loose end.”

“Got it!” Taehyung says and the line goes dead.

My dumbass forgot that I also told Y/n to come to headquarters, so we were standing there later that night discussing the black market surgeries she would be performing. Her shock to the tasks was confusing. Did she think she’d just stay around and patch us up? We don’t get hurt too often! If she’s gonna be around, I’m using her to her full potential.

“Oh the others are back!” She whips around to see Jungkook poking his head in. My eyes went wide just as Jungkook’s did. Fuck! They’re bringing the cop in! I hope they knocked her out. If she starts calling for help with Y/n here, it’ll make things more difficult.

“Jungkook, is everything ok--” I reach out and spin Y/n around to face me. I pull her close to my chest. I have both hands on her shoulders and feel her tense up again. Is it that she’s never felt a man’s touch, or is it just me that she stiffens up like that.

“W-what was that about?”

I told her to keep her eyes on me and she does. The look in her eyes catches me off guard. They're not fearful, but they don’t hold her regular annoyance.

I ignore most of the questions she asks me as the guys the officer down the other hallway. I tuned her out some time ago but when I finally looked at her she said, “Oh wow.”

“You seem to forget what my line of work is.” I jeer. I remove my hands from her shoulders and step back.

“I forget just how real your job is at times.”

~!~

I strolled into the blue room, wearing some medical gloves. My eyes laid on Jiae, the undercover cop who was tied to the blue metal chair.

“I forgot that I told Y/n to drop by.” I explained, seeing the questions in their eyes.

“It’s cool, we weren’t trying to interrupt your little date.” Jimin cooed, smiling widely.

Of course the teasing begins.

“It wasn’t a date. I was giving her the procedure files. “ I say, before turning to the woman who watched my every move in terror.

Her mouth was covered with duct tape, and her eyes were bloodshot. The few moments of eye contact shook fear into her. She couldn’t have been any older 35. Her straight black hair was a mess, and sweat dewed on her forehead. Her eyes welled up with tears but it didn’t move me.

My eyes moved back to Jimin who was slipping on his own gloves. It must be scary for Jiae. Watching these men she does know calmly put on gloves while chatting. She has no idea what to expect.

“Make sure Y/n finds an assistant.” I muttered. Namjoon who was leaning against the wall scratched the back of his head.

“Why don’t we ask that Jennie friend of hers?” He suggests. I simply hum and nod, walking up to Jiae who trembled.

“You almost slipped past us!” I yelled, grinning at her. I reach forward to peel the tape off her mouth. I do it slowly, and she exhales deeply before coughing.

“Why are you looking for Seok?” I stood staring at the panting women.

“I-I can give you money if that’s what you want? Tell me what you want! Whatever it takes, I have people who can get it for you! You don’t have to protect Seok! I’m just trying to get to him!” She begs, rocking her body a bit. The ropes around her arms and legs must really burn.

“Who sent you here?” I asked another question, stepping even closer, “There is nothing you can offer us! I just want to know why you’re here and who sent you.”

She gulps, “I-I can’t tell you.” She moves her focus to the ground and I try not to snicker. This night is dragging out too long. I’m already in a bad mood, and I have more work awaiting me. I don’t have the energy to interrogate kindly.

“Why are you here?” I growled again.

“We’re just trying to find Seok! Please I won’t tell anyone.”

“Who is ‘we’?” Namjoon speaks up this time, “the FBI? CIA?”

Jiae hangs her head in defeat, “We’re just a small detectives office! It was a stupid move and we weren’t aware of who we were up against. It took months to get this close to Seok, and I know you’re just following commands.”

“Ms. Jiae,” I call sarcastically, “I don’t know if you’re aware but outsiders don’t get to see Mr. Seok and live. Do you not know that?” I cock my head, wondering if I should just let Namjoon take control. I’m at my wits end.

“I don’t even want to find him anymore! So if you could please--”

“But I’m right here.” I pout, and watch the realization grow on her face.

~!~

I walked into the lobby of headquarters to hear Jaehyun and Jennie yelling at each other. I tried my best to keep from groaning in annoyance. I knew their relationship before bringing Jennie to work with Y/n, but I was hoping they could overcome it. Jaehyun won’t be working with us for long. He’ll help us with this mission and probably with forging documents in the near future.

My eyes settled on Y/n. I could only see the back of her head as she slumped back in her seat. She wasn’t talking,only watching the couple as they threw insults back and forth.

I haven’t seen her in a few days. It seems things have gotten busy at the hospital, which is the only reason I didn’t bother to grill her for missing the meeting I called her to a few days ago.

Unfortunately, I have become quite aware of her absence. Her glares and her teasing remarks have been a part of my everyday routine. It's obvious that she’s tired, so she'll fall asleep in no time. I

I took a seat beside Y/n, and she looked at me. She still smiles at me, though it doesn’t meet her tired eyes. She beams at me, and though she looked exhausted, it was clear that she was happy to see me.

She’s...happy to see me?

“You look tired.” I said quietly. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but rather made an observation. Y/n understood, seeing as she laughed.

“Just say you missed me so we can move forward.” Her shoulders shook as she giggled, and the corner of my lips twitched, a smile threatening my lips.

I guess...I missed her?

Wait! No! I just noticed how quiet it was without her. Y/n was always bubbly and talkative compared to me. The guys love having her around. She draws out conversation and makes the gloomy atmosphere bearable.

I take a look at the files spread out on the table, and tell Jennie and Jaehyun to settle down. The upcoming mission is important, and ends everyone’s part to work. Everyone including Y/n.

I sat at home, wondering if it was smart to bring Y/n into this. I said from the beginning that I wasn’t going to involve her in anything that wasn’t black market medical work, but could it be avoided?

The whole hospital believes we are a couple, and with the Charity Gala coming up, it wouldn’t make sense to not take Y/n as a date. However, I don’t want to parade around with her on my arm, as she has no idea what is going on behind the scenes. I at least respect her to not be so rude.

Y/n shifted in her seat, leaning closer to me. She was paying attention to everything I was saying, but the expression was unreadable. Most of the meeting went well while I laid down everything in detail. I let Jin take over as he broke down more details of the mission but my attention was divided as /n moved closer and closer to me.

Her head dropped on my shoulder and glanced at her to see her eyes closed. She fell asleep. I snicker looking back down at the document in my hand. My senses were overtaken by her shampoo and the light traces of perfume. She was warm, and my shoulder was growing hot.

I stared at the printed words on the paper for a few seconds when I recognized the silence that surrounded me. Why isn’t Jin still talking?

My attention moves to the quiet people at the table. They were staring at me like I had two heads. My face scrunched up in annoyance and I glared at each person. I’m going to pretend i don’t know what’s going on.

“What?” I asked, my gaze moving to each face around the table. I noticed Jungkook who gave me a knowing smile, his cheeks lifted high as he grinned that bunny-like smile of his. The meeting went on, and soon Jennie was also asleep, her work schedule being as crazy as Y/n’s.

My eyes couldn’t help but stare at her and Jaehyun for a moment. The way Jennie naturally leaned on him, looking so comfortable and trusting of him. Jaehyun received all her affections, throwing an arm around her as she hid her face in his neck.

That’s probably the type of relationship Y/n was looking for. A person she can trust in and feel completely comfortable around.

But...I don’t think I can think of a moment in which Y/n didn’t trust me. It’s weird. Maybe she doesn’t really understand how my job is?

“Vitals.” I heard Y/n mumble in her sleep before she shifted, her hand landing itself on my thigh. I tensed at the movement, my eyes staring at her hand as if it could move it away with my gaze.

It was now Yoongi that was voicing some concerns about the mission but I couldn’t focus. Her hand was palm resting carelessly on my lower thigh near my neck. I glance at her hand again and my own hand was itching,

I wonder if…

I look back up at the papers in my hands and set it on the table as Yoongi continues to speak. I slowly brought my hand up to rest on my knee, not too far from her hand. My eyes move from Yoongi speaking to my hand.

Maybe…..

I slowly inch my hand towards her, some of my fingers brushing her hand. As if Y/n could sense what I was doing, she sighs and readjusts herself, her hand moving to fall right on top of mine. I tune back into the conversation, the guys too focused on their points and opinions that they didn’t notice my attention was else. I shifted in my seat, sitting up a bit and Y/n squeezed my hand.

She moved with me, adjusting to me and sighing. This is...warm. She is warm and not so bad.

I look over at Jaehyun and Jennie. Jennie was still knocked out and leaning on Jaehyun. I wonder if...Y/n and I look as natural as they do.

The possibility of a real meaningful relationship has felt so unneeded and out of reach but….this is nice.

But I couldn’t meet the expectations that she’d have. Plus, doctors are crooked. Doctors like to say they became doctors to help people, but oftentimes they have the worst personalities. They have the biggest egos.

~!~

“Boss, have fun!” Jungkook cooed. I rolled my eyes at him, looking over the last of the plans. I was at the HQ lobby and we all stood around dressed according to our roles in the mission. The car waited outside, but Jungkook was bouncing around me with a smile.

“This is technically a date!” He chimed.

“I doubt Y/n sees it that way.” I replied. Jungkook clasps my shoulder and grins.

“I actually agree but, I think you should enjoy yourself tonight. We have the mission under control, just worry about showing Y/n a good time. I think you’ll realize that a future with Y/n isn’t so outrageous. You like her.”

My eyes widen, “I like Y/n?” I laugh and look up at the ceiling in disbelief.

“Never that.” I added.

“It’s okay to admit it! I think you deserve to have someone for yourself! You can’t go around frowning for your whole life. The universe--”

“Don’t talk to me about the fucking universe.” I hiss. My harsh tone doesn’t phase Jungkook, he continues to speak.

“The universe doesn’t make mistakes!”

“You’re still saying that?” Namjoon chimed in as he walked towards us.

I scoffed, “Jungkook is young, so he thinks it’s that simple.”

“It is that simple!” Jungkook fussed. It was quiet for a moment as everyone moved about.

“Boss.” Jungkook called. His tone was different, the beaming smile was gone and a smirk sat on his lips. I was surprised by the change of tone from him.

I raised an eyebrow at him and he ran his fingers from his hair.

“Since you don’t like Y/n...can I ask her out?” The challenging tone had me staring at the younger man seriously. He stared back, his smirk growing wider.

“You’re not going to wait for your soulmate?” My voice was low, and undermining.

“Boss, do you not listen to me when I talk? I told you I’ve found her already, and she has a boyfriend, but that’s a different situation. You don’t like Y/n...so I can pursue her?”

The tension was staggering, and the air grew heavy as we stared at each other in silence. Jungkook didn’t back down, cocking his head to the side. He’s serious?

“Come on Kook!” Jimin laughed, putting himself between us, “Boss, I’m sure he’s joking.”

Jimin’s intrusion wasn’t enough to make us break eye contact.

“You’re joking right?” Jimin says with a bright smile. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and watching Jungkook. Jungkook has never seriously challenged me on something.

At this point, Jungkook is probably closer to Y/n than I am, so this development of feelings shouldn’t surprise me.

Jungkook breaks the staring competition and smiles that normal gummy smile of his, “Of course I’m joking!” He exclaims. A unified sigh of relief is heard in the room, but not from me. The others let out nervous chuckles, but I narrow my eyes at Jungkook who’s smile doesn’t meet his eyes.

The bunny smile is there, but the challenging look in his eyes remains.

That conversation with Jungkook was on my mind on the drive to pick up Y/n. Jaehyun trailed behind me with a different car.

“Since you don’t like Y/n...can I ask her out?”

He looked me right in the eyes and said that. I do forget that there are other men that have eyes for Y/n. That stupid Dr. Lee at the hospital has made it apparent that my presence didn’t deter him. I keep saying soulmates are a foolish notion, so when Y/n decides to move on, I’ll be okay right?

A strange discomfort is building in my chest as I think about it. A vision of Y/n’s smiling face appears in my mind and I sigh, almost defeated. I press my hand to my chest, the hammering of my heart clouding my thoughts.

“What the fuck.” I mutter to myself.

“Sir,” The driver calls, “We’ve arrived.” I look around to see that we were in front of Y/n's apartment complex.

When she makes her way out I can’t help but stare. I just knew that dress would be perfect for her. You’d think it was made for her and her alone. Her hair was styled simply and the make up was done simply.

She is...beautiful.

Fuck.

My eyes move along her body, from head to toe and once again. The slit on the dress with the draping neckline that showed just a little cleavage had me feel some type of way.

I looked back to her face and wondered how my face looked at this moment because it felt like my throat was drying up and my hands were getting sweaty.

I should tell her how good she looks. I should say ‘you look pretty’ cause saying beautiful would be too much right?

You look pretty!

Ugh, what the hell Hoseok, are you a middle school boy? It’s Y/n! Doc! Just say something before this silence gets weird.

“We’re matching!” She announces, smiling widely.

The corner of my lips twitch up, fighting a smile. When we’re in the car I’m speaking with Namjoon on the phone as he explains that things are set in place. Y/n sits beside me, not saying anything. She stares out the window unaware of my lingering gaze.

When I’m off the phone she makes some comments about my favorite color being green. She’s not wrong and It looks good on her so why not?

Strolling past the flashing cameras and into the venue, we were met by different people all turning their heads our way. My hand rested on the small of her back. I watched her eyes dart around the place at the rich people and celebrities that were about. This wasn’t her type of crowd and it was clear.

I keep her pressed against me, noticing the goosebumps on her shoulders. Her chest is rising and following quickly. Of course she’s nervous. It’s already an intimidating event but also knowing about the crime that will take place? I’m sure she’s stressed.

I smiled at her actions, as it reminded me of a nervous puppy.

“Hey, look at me for a second.” I whispered. When she looked my way, her jaw dropped open for some reason. I smiled wider at the beautiful woman staring up at me.

“Look like you’re happy to be with me.”

She beamed at me, that same smile of hers. She doesn’t have to pretend does she? Am...am I pretending?

Maybe I’m just pretending that this isn’t going to go up in flames like it did with my parents. Maybe I’m pretending like she didn’t have heart eyes for me since the beginning. I mean I am the soulmate she has always been waiting for. So when that spark is gone, would she still smile at me like this?

I take my hand off her back and she takes hold on my arm.

We weren’t left alone for long, different company executives approaching me often. Y/n listened patiently and would make small talk with jokes and puns. What was she nervous about? She’s a natural at this. I can’t even call her a social butterfly, she’s just a people person.

As I introduced her to some executives, she smiled beautifully and my arm naturally wrapped around her waist and held her close to me. We stood and spoke with quite a few people. I found myself glancing over at her every once in a while. She’d be too focused on the conversation to notice my stare, but when she did, she’d simply smile at me then tune back into the conversation.

My eyes scanned the black, catching Jimin who was in disguise. I knew everything was going smoothly since I hadn’t gotten any text messages or phone calls since we arrived.

These two women were talking my ears off while Y/n tried to hide the glare on her face. She’s been throwing looks at women who eyed me. I chuckled as I watched the women shying away as Y/n put her intimidating gaze on them.

A sigh sounded from Y/n, making the two female executives stop talking to look at Y/n. I used this time to make the women stop their ogling at me in front of Y/n.

“Are you tired already, baby?” I whispered in her ear. The name made her look at me in surprise. The close proximity of our face had to be making the female executives uncomfortable. Her lips parted and her eyes flickered down to my lips so quickly that I don’t think she knows she’s done it.

Fuuuuucccck.

The night doesn’t end in the most peaceful. Even though the mission went well, I let my anger get to me.

“For once...it felt like you didn’t hate me.” She says honestly.

We’re standing on the balcony, looking up at the dim stars in the style. Y/n is a bit drunk, and her honest thoughts start to fall out her mouth.

I’m left staring at the side of her face while she stays keyed in on the stars. The small smile on her lips did lessen the effect of her words. She sounded genuinely hurt.

“I don’t hate anyone.” I argued. And well that was a lie. I hate my mother and that stupid man. But Y/n thinks I hate her?

“Doc, I don’t hate you.”

“But you hate soulmates and doctors.” She accused me.

“Who told you that?” I snapped.

Y/n rolls her eyes, “What does it matter? I got the message.”

What the hell? She speaks like she has me figured out. I’m not the most easy going and open but to hate her? She genuinely believes that? How can she tell me about my feelings? What cause I’m not the fucking prince charming she expected.

“What about you doc?” I start “Do you really like me?”

“Yes.” She says sternly.

“You really like me? Or do you like the image of a soulmate? The idea of a soulmate is what you like. I am not the picture perfect guy you dreamed of, stop trying to put me in that box.”

She looks at me, scrutinizing my face. I watched her eyes move all across my face, taking in every facial feature of mine. Her eyes were big, and honest. I know she isn’t lying to me. What does she have to gain from me? Y/n hasn’t hidden a single thing from me.

“I do admit, I liked the idea of a soulmate. I liked the idea of meeting someone and just connecting instantly and understanding each other.” She said sternly. It’s just as I expected but I’m disappointed to hear her say it.

“My point proven.” But Y/n didn’t back down, still staring up at me.

“You were not what I expected. Your lifestyle is frightening and dangerous. You are cold, calculating, hard to read and sometimes scary. You’ve probably killed people and I’m sure committed many crimes. Hell, I sat here and played ‘couple of the year’ while the others robbed artwork.”

“Oh--” A voice said from the entryway. We both turn our attention to Jungkook who stared on with wide eyes. He wasn’t sure what he had walked in on, but he was hesitant to speak. The atmosphere was heavy and uncomfortable. Ugh, of all the times for him to walk in.

The soft and caring look in Y/n’s eyes when she saw the boy was annoying to me.

“Noona, I’ll be taking you home.” He announced, “Just let me know when you’re ready to go.” Jungkook’s eyes flickered between us, wondering what conversation had happened before he walked in.

“Thank you Jungkook,” Y/n’s voice wavered, “I’ll be right there.” She dismissed him. Jungkook gave me a pointed look and left.

Y/n sighed, pushing her body off the ledge and standing straight. She smoothed her dress, and brushed off any possible dirt.

She looked back up at me and flashed a sad smile, “Despite all those things. Your lifestyle, your crimes and your cold attitude ...I still like you.” She stared right into my eyes, that same soft and caring look she had for Jungkook before was there but...there was something else.

‘Heart eyes’ the guys have been calling it. It’s as clear as day.

“Really?” I laughed a bit to hide my discomfort. The way she gazed at me had me feeling...vulnerable.

“Truly.” She confirmed, not daring to look away from me. Y/n stepped closer to me and I watched closely, looking down as one of her hands found mine. She held my hand, stretched her head up and put her lips to my cheek.

She just….kissed me? On my cheek?

“Tonight was fun. Thank you Hoseok.” With that, she spun around and made her way back inside. Probably going to find Jungkook so she could go home.

My heart is pounding in my ears. I can’t think straight. She kissed my cheek? She really really likes me?

A person with such a sick job? I’m a fucking criminal! Did she forget? I kill people! I lie and steal!

Who the hell would want to stay with a man like me? Like my father? My mother’s harsh words to me still sting like they were yelled at me yesterday.

● ● ●

I stood by my father’s hospital bed where he laid weak and fable. As a 16 year old there is only so much I can do while my mom yells at my father. My eyes darted to the doors behind my mother’s raging figure. Where is the hospital staff?

“Mom, what are you doing? What are you talking about? I don’t understand! Why would you be leaving?”

She stared at me with tearful bloodshot eyes. Her face was red and she breathed heavily.

“Son, your mother--” My father’s words were cut off.

“I’m leaving Hoseok. If you don’t want out of this horrible way of life, then fine! I won’t subject myself to this! I found my soulmate, a normal man with a normal job.” She was yelling while fighting back tears. I stagger back, looking between her and my father.

“Y-you guys aren’t soulmates?” My voice comes out quietly and my eyes sting with ears. The sadistic laughter that left my mother’s mouth was chilling.

“I pity the woman who’s soulmate is a mafia man! This life is draining! I’m tired! In the start I thought love was enough but it just isn’t! It’s become a burden!” She threw her hands up in exhaustion.

“Hoseok, if you choose this life just know that you don’t deserve a soulmate. Don’t put someone through the torture of not knowing if their husband will come home! Or dealing with random mysterious trips! You’re better off alone in this type of work? Do you hear me Hoseok? When you find your soulmate, run the other way! For her sake!”

~!~

I sit in the hotel bed, staring up at the ceiling with my phone pressed to my ear. I am in Japan for not only underground work but investments. It’s been a pretty busy trip, and all while I’ve been here Y/n was clouding my mind.

In the meeting with Jisoo about the Japanese part of our mafia network, Y/n was dancing in the back of my mind.

I know damn well it was wrong of me to travel without telling her. It’s been a week since I’ve seen her and I’m itching to see her again. I don’t know what I'm going to do or say when I see her, so I’ll figure it out when the time comes. It’ll be another 4 days before I’m back in Korea. So when I saw the missed call from Y/n I thought something bad happened, but the simple sound of her voice made my body tingle.

Fuck my life.

What am I gonna do about this? I think I’m getting a hard on just at the thought of her laying in her bed as she speaks to me.

“Ok, cool. Umm...how much longer are you staying in Japan?” She asks softly. I joke to lighten the mood. It was probably only me who was feeling so heavy. It’s been a dry spell, and I can’t get myself to call one of my usually booty calls.

“Why?” I grin, “Do you miss me?” I chuckle knowing a swift denial from her when she speaks in a breathy voice.

“I miss you a lot.” She’s doing this on purpose, she has to be. I shift in my bed, hissing under my breath as I felt my dick getting hard.

Oh she misses me huh? She’s probably laid up in her bed, sleep still on her eyes. Still smelling good like she always does. Warm like she always is, welcoming like she always-

The whole time we were speaking, my mind was wandering and my dick was bringing me discomfort. It’s hard and I have no one to ease the discomfort. Ugh.

“Y/n?” I called out my voice strained, “Whenever you start missing me, just call me.”

Because I am definitely missing you. I hung up the phone and tossed it beside me on the bed, sitting up and seeing the imprint of the boner in my boxers.

I pushed my boxers down and spit in my hand a few times before I began to stroke my length, thoughts of Y/n in the cute outfits she wears under that white coat driving me forward. As well as the way she looked the last time I saw her, at the Charity Gala.

I think I'm losing my mind over here. What the hell is happening to me?

A breathy groan escapes my lips and moans of her name drip off my tongue. It’s a little shameful who just the sound of her voice invokes such a fire in me.

When did I get myself wrapped around her finger like this?

~!~

I look at the door for the 5th time, ignoring the yelling between those who were present. I’m finally back in Seoul after 12 days of traveling and I can’t lie to myself about the excitement of seeing Y/n again.

After jacking off to the thought of her, I wonder how I'll be able to face her. I feel...weird about it. I wouldn’t ever tell her about it, since no sexual interaction has happened between us in the slightest. But my emotions have felt intensified by 10 these days.

I also mean to talk to Jungkook about his words before the Gala. I need to make it clear that Y/n is off limits. She’s not my girlfriend or anything but, Jungkook needs to back off. I have to start driving her myself, and since Y/n says she likes me….she won’t mind.

“You missed her!” Taehyung sings from his seat, “You missed Y/n!”

I only stare at the cheesing boy, before looking to Namjoon to start explaining the information he gathered.

“Of course he missed her!” Seokjin called out, “he’s looking at the door every few minutes!”

“Boss is not in the mood to be teased,” Yoongi exclaimed before showing me a goofy smile.

“Not by us at least.” Jimin jokes.

The boys laugh collectively and I can feel my ears burning red.

“Oh, his ears are read!” Yoongi observes fighting off his laughter.

“They are!” The others chime in.

“What happened Boss, did you have a naughty dream about Y/n?”

“Did you get off to her?”

“Have you finally realized your feelings?”

They were all speaking at once and I could only keep my head down as my ears grew hot.

I must say...it’s been a long time since the boys have openly made fun of me like this.

“I’ve just been…” Their laughter trails off as I start to speak.

“I’ve been feeling a lot of things lately.” I shrug to try to move past the awkwardness that came with the words.

“Well duh!” Taehyung says, “You’ve probably just realized your feelings, and your little soulmate connection things are just now starting! Don’t worry boss, I doubt Y/n is going to care if you showed her more affection-- I’m sure she wants it.”

“L-let’s just change the subject,” I mutter, “Order some food for everyone, I’m paying.”

A cheer sounds through the room and I’m just glad the subject has changed. While Namjoon is speaking, Jin ends up calling Jungkook about what to order but my attention in tuned into Namjoon.

It’s when I hear a door opening followed by whistles from the guys that I knew Y/n was here. I kept my eyes forward, while Namjoon kept explaining what he wrote on the blackboard. We were having a discussion on this when I heard her voice.

“Hey guys.” She greeted everyone. Namjoon even greeted her in return, looking at me while I pretended to be too focused on the blackboard.

Soon she stood at my side, “Hey.” She says softly.

“Hey.” I replied before looking at her head on. Beautiful as always. My eyes drop down her body and back to her eyes. She wore a fine yellow outfit, and I hope the jump in body didn’t translate onto my face.

I sat on the table and she stood, she was almost eye level with me. After asking about how my flight was, she kisses me on the cheek. I stare at her in surprise while she smiles in return.

“I’m glad you’re back.” She said. I narrowed my eyes at her, and my eyes dropped down to her outfit again.

Damn, she has to be doing this on purpose. Even after she diverted her attention to Namjoon, I couldn’t help myself. She gave me a perfect view of her ass, I had the urge to be...close to her. Fuck I liked to have her under me screaming my na--

“Boss is looking hungry!” Taehyung sang, potentially pulling me from my train of thoughts.

“But not for food.” Jennie adds.

I look back at some files I was supposed to be reading with a small smirk on my lips. My ears grew hot as they turned red.

“Cute.” She mumbles.

~!~

“Now why did you guys go and make her cry?” I said to the guys as they sat around the circular table. I sent Jennie and Y/n home after Y/n bursted into tears after hearing the contract the guys’ parents signed to be free of debt. I didn’t want to touch this subject again, but as I watched Y/n overwhelmed with sadness on my behalf, I knew I couldn’t ignore it.

“She asked us questions and we answered it.” Yoongi said softly, throwing a concerned look to Jungkook who was crying.

“W-we don’t hate you Hoseok!” Jungkook sobbed, wiping his face with the sleeves of his shirt.

I was surprised to hear my first name from him.

“A-and I’m not pursuing Y/n. It was just a small crush.”

I almost had to laugh at the way he gargled his words while tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Guys, let’s not do this okay? We can just-”

“We don’t hate you hyung,” Jimin chimed in, shyly looking down at the table instead of looking at me.

“Guys--” I’m cut off again.

“I am sorry hyung, I was angry with my parents. You didn’t do anything and it wasn’t right for us to shut you out like we did. We should have been your family and support at the funeral but we left you all alone. It wasn’t fair to you.” Taehyung stared at me with wet eyes.

“You took care of us so well, a-and we didn’t realize the damage it caused! There is no hate for you anywhere in my heart.”

They went on like that for a while. I simply listened, taking in their words. Long monologues about how they were sorry and so on. It was nice to hear and it did ease me just a small bit. When it was silent and my turn to speak.

“I am not angry at you guys. It was lonely all these years. You guys were here but it was lonely.” Was all I could say, scratching the back of my neck. It’s uncomfortable to talk like this with them.

“Well,” Namjoon began, “We won’t let you feel lonely anymore hyung!” With those words Jungkook rose on his feet and charged towards me. I was pulled into a tight hug.

“I only like hugs from Y/n.” I joked, hoping the awkward feeling would pass. But soon I was in the middle of a huge group hug.

“Let’s take some baby steps and work up to hugs.” I muttered, resulting in a laugh from everyone else.

~!~

The music was booming and the lights were a hot red, matching the hot atmosphere of the club. The bass of music was vibrating strongly and it was adding a small shake to the glasses of drinks on the table. Y/n and Jennie went to the dance floor some time ago, and the way she looked when she approached me was printed in my mind.

She looked hot. I felt my blood growing hot and I couldn’t stop the need to get my hands on her. The urge to have Y/n close has grown intensely. I can’t say I'm a skinship person but with her, it’s different. I need her close, I want her close.

The way she came in and took a seat next to me without any hesitation. I mean, where else would she have sat? Having someone by my side is...nice. Great even.

I wonder if she’d let me drive her home. I’m tired of always having Jungkook do it. He told me his declaration to pursue Y/n was a joke, but I’m not going to let my guard down just yet

“Hyung, there are three of them. They’ve already noticed our presence so I expect one of them to approach us.” Jimin stated, “They’ll try to intimidate us. It’s the same pattern they’ve been doing at the last spots they hit.”

“I’m gonna ring up Y/n and tell her and Jennie to clear out of here soon, before things pop off.” I said reaching into my pocket to grab my phone.

“Look at you being a worried boyfriend.” Jimin cooed.

I paused my movements before giving Jimin a curious look, “Jimin...how would you ask someone out on a date?”

Jimin’s toothy grin went into a full out mouth opening smile.

“Hyung!” He yelled in excitement. I instantly regretted my question.

“Never mind,” I dismissed, shaking my head,

“Wait hyung! I’ll tell you! I’ll tell you!” He shouted. I barely heard him over the music but I simply nodded.

“I’ll tell you later, but I think with Y/n, just ask her to a movie or to dinner!She’s pretty chill.” He added. I stood up from my seat, ignoring his last words. However, I will be asking him later.

With my phone in my hands, I scrolled through my contacts to find Y/n. I walked out from the seated pit area to find Y/n. My eyes searched the club, spotting a suspicious man stand near the edge of the dance floor.

I spotted him briefly, moving my gaze off him naturally. I want him to believe I didn’t spot him. He’s clearly a part of the men we were watching.

I looked back to my phone and instead of texting Y/n, I text Taehyung who was already on high alert.

To Taehyung: Keep eyes on dude on the right. Far end of the dance floor. He’s up to something.

Just as I looked up from my phone, I saw Y/n approaching me. I couldn’t read the expression on her face, but it’s clear she was eager to get to me.

“Where’d you go? I was looking for you--” I was cut off as she slammed into me, throwing her arms around me in a tight hug. It nearly knocked the wind out of me, but the display of affection left me smiling.

“Did you miss me already?” I chuckled. It was at the moment that I heard her labored breathing in my ear. Something is...off.

“H-hoseok.” She called out weakly. Her arms dropped from around me and she was putting all of her weight onto me.

“Y/n?” I asked, shoving my phone into my pocket and wrapping my arms around her. The next thing I knew, I heard a terrifying scream, and looked up to see Jennie standing about 12 feet from us with a horrified look on her face.

Something is wrong.

“Y-y/n?” I called again. She’s not responding. She’s not talking. Her shallow breaths were all I could hear. The music was being tuned out and my heart was beating in my ears. My hands moved from her back to her hips and her side when I felt it. I froze as I realized my hands were...wet?

I glanced down at my right hand and thought I could have collapsed when I saw the bright red on my hand. My hand pressed back to her side, putting pressure on where the blood was coming from. All this happened in seconds, but it felt like hours.

“Y-you’re bleeding? Y/n? Y/n!” My voice shook as I tried to get any response from her.

“Taehyung!” My voice pierced through the music, and I turned my head to see the guys rushing towards me with Jennie walking up with tears in her eyes. She was asking me questions with her eyes but I didn’t have any answers.

“Taehyung, bring the car around to the back!” I yelled.

“Yoongi, Joon go after those bastards! They couldn’t have gone far!” I’m yelling and everyone is moving. We’ve caught the attention of some people on the dance floor, as well as those sitting in other pits, but their curious stares didn’t mean a thing to me.

“I’m...tired.” Y/n said, as if she was sobbing.

I scooped up Y/n into my arms and made my way towards the back exit of the club. We had to push our way through the staff rooms and the small kitchen but we got through with no problem. Jennie was at my side, taking a clean rag she got while we pushed through the kitchen, and pressed it to the wound.

“Please Y/n.” I whispered, holding her closer to me.

Usually such bullet wounds won’t cause all this worry, but with the amount of blood that was coming...it was scary. Even by my standards. Did the bullet hit an artery? That’s...that’s the worst thing that could happen. If an artery was hit, Y/n will die for sure.

“Y/n? Stay awake for me.” I said again, as we made it out the back exit to the alleyway where Taehyung already had the big van parked. Jimin through the sliding door open and I stepped in with Y/n still in my arms. Jennie followed in after me.

Jimin closed the door and hopped into the passenger’s seat before Taehyung took off.

Jennie was scurrying to do different things. Despite the blood on her hands, she took the towel and pressed it to the wound. She took my free hand that wasn’t wrapped around Y/n’s back, since Y/n is sitting on my lap, and placed it on the towel.

“Keep pressure on it.” She instructed, before shuffling around the van, seeing as she was practically standing in the van. She was a bit bent over as she worked.

“Call Jin and Jungkook! Tell them to have the surgery room ready. I need all the tools cleaned and disinfected. I’ve shown them how to do it.” Jennie orders. Jimin gets right on and in that moment I was thankful that Jin and Jungkook wanted to stay back for this mission.

She was checking Y/n’s pulse and breathing, at some point pressing her ear to her chest.

“How is she?” I couldn’t recognize my own voice. My voice was quiet, unsure and weak. Ugh so weak. I noticed Jimin look at me with obvious pity.

Taehyung looks at me from the rearview mirror and I wonder what my face looks like at this moment. But I look at Y/n and frown deeply. The color is draining from her face, and all I can do is stare at her.

It’s like watching the life drain from my father all over again.

“Her pulse is….slow. Dangerously slow. I don’t think an artery was hit, but I don’t know Y/n’s medical history so it’ll be tough to figure out--”

“Jimin, find a way to get Y/n’s medical records.” I order.

Jennie seems shocked, “Hoseok it’s--”

“I have my ways.” I deadpanned, before looking over at Y/n’s face again. She’s not responding to anything and the only thing keeping my string of sanity from snapping was the rising and falling of her chest.

We arrived at the headquarters and rushed in.

“What happened?” I heard Jungkook cry as we rushed in. I went with Jennie, straight to the surgery room, thankfully to see everything set up.

I set her down on the table as Jennie rushed to wash her hands, threw on spare scrubs over her outfit, and washed her hands a second time, disinfecting then throwing gloves on.

“Out.” She ordered.

“What? I--”

“Out! I got this Hoseok! I promise! She will be fine!” She stared up at me. My eyes moved back to Y/n who was laying there looking….ghostly. I looked back at Jennie and nodded before making my way out the room.The door was still open. Jungkook, Jin and Taehyung watched, all with worried eyes.

I looked at Jennie once more as she started tearing the clothes off of Y/n. To respect her privacy, we all looked away. I stepped out the room and shut the door, leaving the guys and I in a heavy silence.

My eyes are trained on the ground and my thoughts are moving rapidly.

“Hyung--” Jungkook started, his face turning red as tears bubbled in his eyes. I glanced down at my legs, the fabric sticking to my body because of the blood that had begun to dry. My hands were covered in red and the sight disgusted me.

Blood hasn’t bothered me before, but it being Y/n’s blood left me sick. What if she dies?

I can’t keep anything good in this life can I? It was careless of me to think that I could bring her along while working. What the fuck was I thinkng?

It was a stupid move on my part so I--

“Hyung!” Jimin’s voice took me out of my thoughts. I was so zoned out that I didn’t notice I was now in the middle of a circle. Jimin, Taehyung, Jin and Jungkook all stood around me in concern. Jin reached out to place a hesitant hand on my shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Jin asked. He stared at me seriously, scrutinizing my response.

“I…” I trailed off and looked towards Jungkook who held eye contact with me for all of 3 seconds before he started crying again. I could only look away from him and back to Jin.

“I’m going to go take a shower.” I answered before stepping out from the circle. I walked out from the circle and past the circle table before walking down the hallway. I stopped at the silver door and stepped into it. It was our regular clean up from. You walk in to see what looks like a huge closet. Different shirts, uniforms and more. I walk over to a small sink in the corner and wash my hands swiftly.

I actually washed my hands three times, feeling like the red wouldn’t go away.

When looking for disguises, we come here. I walk through the room, unbuttoning my shirt and throwing into the trash bin. I don’t think I could wear these clothes again. I take off my shoes, my socks, pants and boxers before grabbing a towel not too far away. I throw it over my shoulder, feeling a little weird standing in the room completely naked.

I walked towards the second door in the room which led to a bathroom with a shower. Two separate and private showers. I hung my towel up in arms reach and stepped into one of the glass shower squares. The water was cold when it hit me, but I needed it. It felt like my whole body had been on fire for the past 30 minutes.

I took both my hands and placed them on the grey tile wall as the water grew warmer. I closed my eyes and stood there for a while. The water fell onto my hair and all down my face but I was trying to steady my breathing. My heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest.

I grabbed my loofa and took a nice long shower, trying to keep my mind empty of any others. I stepped out of the shower, dried off and wrapped the towel around my waist. I looked through the closet area and found a simple black tee shirt and joggers. Got refreshed and put on the clothes and some nike slides before stepping out into the hallway.

When I stepped out to the lobby Yoongi and Namjoon had returned.

“Boss, we--”

“You weren’t able to catch them, I figured.” My tone was a bit harsh and I felt bad after saying it, but I’m sure they understand how stressed I am right now.

“I’ll catch them myself.” I muttered, looking towards the closed door of the surgery room.

The room is quiet again.

“It’ll be hours till she’s done so you guys can head home. I’ll keep you updated.” I announce and sit in a chair with my arms folded. The guys seemingly ignored my suggestion, cause I closed my eyes to think, and hear their shuffling.

About 30 minutes passed till I opened my eyes again and they were still there, also sitting with me.

I closed my eyes again, and didn’t open them till a tired Jennie stepped out from the room. I don’t know how much time had passed, but all the guys were sluggish in their movements cause they were half asleep.

I sprung up from my seat and looked directed at her. It was like the whole room was holding their breath.

“She’s stable. She’ll wake up in a day. I did everything right.” Jennie breaks out into a smile, tears welling in her eyes.

~!~

It’s day 5.

Y/n has not opened her eyes. I’ve sat there staring at her unmoving body for days. She’s not waking up, she’s responding or even giving us a hopefully foot twitch.

My angry eyes turn to Jennie who has unfortunately become the target for my anger. I feel bad, I really do but, Y/n should have been up days ago. None of the tests Jennie does shows anything wrong with her.

Yesterday I was yelling profanities at Jennie, asking her repeatedly if she’d done everything correct. I don’t know much about surgeries but I know a bullet to the hip or thigh area shouldn’t cause someone to be out this long!

I had already apologized to Jennie for the 3rd time and each time she was understanding. Everyone was worried. Jennie still had to go to work at the hospital so when she was gone, I just sat here in the hospital room, listening to the heart monitor beep.

When Jennie arrived, we exchanged a knowing look before I made my way out the room. And that’s how I ended up here.

I am at a familiar cemetery, staring at my father’s tombstone. It was on the father end of the cemetery, leaving a lot of space between it and the other tombstones.

“Jung Yunseok.” I read out my father's name. I sat down on the grass so I was facing his tombstone and like always I speak my mind.

“Dad, it’s been a while.” I say quietly. I look up at the sky for a moment. The sun is starting to set, leaving the sky a calming orange. Not too calming for me, but it’s pretty to look at.

“Work has been hectic. Y/n...has been distracting me. I don’t know if that’s how it was for you and mom-” I paused. The mention of her leaving a bittersweet taste in my mouth.

“How did you balance work and your personal life?” I chuckled to myself, “I didn’t think I’d like Y/n, so I brought her into my work world right from the start. What a stupid decision.”

“Because of my stupid decisions Y/n is laying there looking like a corpse.”

I stay quiet for a moment.

“She’s not like mom...at least I don’t think she is. If she was getting tired of me, she’d tell me. Every time she sees me, she looks at me with these bright eyes. She’s always happy to see me. No matter what. Could it style like that forever?”

“She did jump in front of a bullet for me.”

I run my fingers through my hair, “You and mom weren’t soulmates, so that plays a part into everything turning to shit but...Y/n and I are so if the universe doesn’t make mistakes like everyone says...she wouldn’t get tired of my lifestyle?”

“Would it be messed up if I took a step back? To clear my head?” I nervously rub my hands together before letting out a lengthy sigh.

“You always said when I’m confused, I should take a step back and see what my options are. But I know what they are. I can’t pretend I don’t like her, so it’s either I try this relationship thing 100% or I back off completely.”

The wind howls and the leaves rustle in the wind. I narrow my eyes as the wind causes tears to well up in them.

“I’m gonna keep my distance to gather my thoughts. No more decisions made off unsure thoughts.” I mutter.

My phone dings in my pocket and I pull it out to see a text from Jungkook.

Y/n woke up. She’s asking for you.

I read the text over and over again before locking my phone.

“Remember how I’d always say something was serendipity and you’d always say it was destiny.” I giggled at the memory.

“Well, serendipity is a good thing you’re not expecting or looking for. So meeting Y/n was serendipity for sure...I just can’t be sure if it’s really destiny.”

I stand up from my spot on the ground and brush off the dirt on my pants.

“I’ll let you know how things go dad.” I mutter, “Whether it’s good or bad.”

~!~

“We will discuss it another day Mr. Robins. For now, I will not raise the amount.” I said as I stood up from my seat at my desk. I stepped out of my office and down the hallway, wondering if I could get a few more kisses from Y/n.

Stupid work call interrupted us.

“Okay Mr. Jung. Sorry to call you past work hours and happy birthday” Mr. Robins said before the line went quiet. He hangs up just as I walk out to the lobby. Jennie, Jaehyun, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jungkook and Y/n laughing. Everyone’s attention turned to me as I walked in, Y/n’s gaze being the only one to linger a bit. She smiles at me before looking back at Jennie who was telling some story.

“So I’m standing at the check in desk, getting files from one of the nurses…” Jennie is sitting down at the table with Jaehyun sitting beside her. Everyone was seated except for Y/n and Jungkook who were standing next to each other near the table.

“He walks up and at first nothing looks wrong cause he’s his hand behind his back.” Jennie continues with her story as I walk up placing myself on Y/n’s other side. I could put my arm around her, or would that be too much?

Don’t want to look like I’m eager, but I am.

As if my internal conflict was heard, Y/n slides an arm around my waist and leans into me.

“I’ve heard this story a few times, but it’s still funny.” She whispers up at me with a smile and turns her attention to Jennie again.

“He says, ‘My hand just hurts a bit.’ So I tell him to write his name down and wait. So this guy brings up his hand that is wrapped up and is literally bleeding like crazy and I’m just staring at him like what the fuck?” Jennie going on.

“Does stuff like that happen a lot?” I whisper to Y/n.

“Oh yeah,” She whispers back, “All the time.”

“I ask him, sir, what happened to your hand? He says, in the calmest voice ever, ‘my circular saw split it in half while I was doing woodwork, and we all just stare at each other. Me, the nurse and the calmly bleeding man.”

I laugh as she explains further, “It was like a scene from ‘The Office’. I looked at the nurse, she looked at me, we both looked at the man and started shouting ‘GET A STRETCHER, I NEED NURSES ON HAND.’ It was horrifying.”

“So what happened to him?” Yoongi asked.

“We stitched up his hand and he was out of there a day later. But he was so calm, that we the doctors had to do the panicking for him,”

The conversation went on with weird topics and I just listened, laughing when someone said something funny.

“Awww,” Taehyung suddenly cooed. Oh no.

“Look how cute Hyung and Y/n look!” He put his hands to his cheeks and giggled.

“That’s my cue to leave!” I groaned, stepping out of Y/n’s hold.

“Wait Hoseok, don’t go! Let us gush over how cute you two look!” Yoongi joined in.

“I have more work to do anyways!” I yell back as I head back to the hallway.

“Y/n,” I say, realizing she isn’t following behind me, “let me know when you’re ready to go. I’ll drive you home.”

She looked surprised but nodded, “Okay.”

I waltz down the hallway and stop at the blue door, punching in the number code on the lock and opening the door enough to pop my head into the soundproof room.

I laid my eyes on the three men who sat tied to a chair, with duct tape on their mouths. Only two of them were awake, the dried blood on their face and cloths evidence of when we brought them in.

They panicked as they saw me, but I only shook my head.

“Oh don’t worry, I'm not finishing up today.” I say before looking into the hallway again to make sure Y/n isn’t coming.

“Honestly,” I start sarcastically, “I really hate the whole torture before killing thing but...you shot my girl, so I guess we all have to deal with the consequences.” I flash a smirk before stepping back and closing the door once again.

My girl.

Has a nice ring to it.

♠----♠----♠-----♠

Whew! 15k! My goodness what a long chapter! So let me know what you think! Do you think you understand Hoseok better?

Was it what you expected? And the things that were going on that Y/n, didn’t see...what did you think about that? Let me know what you think!

:))

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pls-let-me-out · 4 years

Text

Invisible String

21st of December

“Do you not like my friends?”

Will almost jumped out of his skin. Niccolò was standing just a couple of feet from him, with his hands in his pockets, and a scowl on his face. He was wearing Will’s–it was actually Niccolò’s, but Will had always worn it–scarf, and a black beanie.

Will’s lips tightened. What could he say? He did like them. They were fun to be around, and had a great sense of humor. Plus, seeing them tease Niccolò was entertaining.

“It’s not that,” Will settled for. “It’s–I don’t know.”

“You do know,” Niccolò said. “Just–nothing. We should go. Seen anything you like?”

Will shook his head. They were looking for a Christmas tree, apparently they would be shooting a little video for a Royal Family thing. When Niccolò was explaining it, Will was too busy being scared to death to listen thoroughly.

“Wait!” Will called, when Niccolò was already at the end of that tree aisles. Niccolò looked back at him with a frown, which had Will’s fingertips tickle with the need to smooth it out. “Can we get hot chocolate before we head out?”

Niccolò rolled his eyes. He didn’t say no.

“What do you mean presents?” Niccolò asked, his face turning into an even more prominent scowl. “We don’t need to get each other gifts.”

“I’m not spending money for this dumbass,” Will said, taking the cup from Niccolò’s hands to take a sip. He was immediately kicked in the shin by Niccolò, but the biggest punishment was the taste of that thing inside. “Is this death? Am I tasting death?”

“It’s coffee, you genius,” Niccolò said, taking the mug back. “Sorry I’m an adult and don’t put milk in it.”

Will just grimaced. “I see why you’re so bitter. You’re poisoning yourself.”

Niccolò opened his mouth, but Piper interrupted them before he could talk, hitting the wooden table. She sighed, exasperation clear on her face. As clear as the fact that the gifts exchanging wasn’t her and Annabeth’s idea, probably Persephone’s. Maybe even Hazel’s.

“What Annabeth and I are trying to say, is that it’s only normal you two exchange gifts. You will spend Christmas together, won’t you?”

Will turned to Niccolò. “My time and company are going to be your present.”

“Hope you kept the receipt.”

Annabeth rubbed her temples. “Guys.”

“Honestly, if you want us to have gifts so much, you should just buy them for us,” Niccolò said, looking smug in his chair. “Then we’ll give them to each other. We’d be even more surprised!”

Will sighed. “Don’t be rude, you ass. I honestly haven’t even changed my money to euros.” He grimaced. “I guess I’ve been kind of leeching off of you.”

Niccolò shrugged. “It’s my fault you’re here in the first place.”

Annabeth clasped her hands together. “Then what’s better than using the Royal Family’s money to buy each other gifts?”

“Not buying each other gifts,” Niccolò said.

“Donating the money to charity.”

Niccolò nodded, very vaguely waving his hand toward Will. “Yeah, that, too.”

“I honestly don’t even know what I could buy you,” Will said, putting his elbow on the table and his chin on his fist. “What could you possibly want? You’re already rich.”

“I’d like McDonald’s. I haven’t had it in so long.”

“We can arrange that.”

“I’m not sure there are any McDonald’s around.”

Will grimaced. “Isn’t this city a nightmare?”

“I’m not even replying to that,” Annabeth said. “C’mon guys. You’ll have to put something on social network sooner or later, it could be the two of you opening gifts. People want to see you.”

“People can see me on Google Image,” Niccolò replied. “Seriously. It’s none of their business what we’re doing.”

“You are a public figure, Nico.”

“Also,” Piper continued. “As you know there’s always been speculation about your sexuality. People are wondering whether you and this soulmate of yours will be lovers or platonic.”

“And I’m sure they’d love it,” Niccolò said.

Will couldn’t help a grimace. Up until a few decades back, courtship between two soulmates of the same sex wasn’t accepted. Will hadn’t even thought it would be an option for them. Niccolò was a prince, didn’t he need to have heirs or something?

Fuck. It only made things more complicated. Will knew himself, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop wondering, if there was even a sliver of hope for the two of them. He buried that hope thinking about his parents.

“I’m sure they’d love to see me with a boy, wouldn’t they.”

Will’s eyes snapped back up at Niccolò, and it hit him like a bucket of cold water. He had forgotten how cold the other’s face could turn. How his voice could become blank. How distant he became.

“They’d love to see me bonding with a man, wouldn’t they?” Niccolò asked, as if he the words were clawing out of his throat.

I’m bisexual! Will wanted to scream. I’m bisexual so stop saying shit like that, like it’s disgusting. He wanted to say it, instead he just pushed the chair back, and stood. What was he expecting from someone who had lived his whole life in a palace? It was only a given that Niccolò would be homophobic. In times like this, Will’s life reminded him of a staged joke.

“It’s just gifts,” he said. His voice was steadier than he thought it would be. “Let’s just take a scarf each and be done with it.”

“It would be different. You’d be soulmates,” he heard Piper say, but he was already leaving the room. He could feel eyes boring holes in his back.

Before letting them use the sleigh, Piper took at least a hundred photo. Most of them had either Nico or Will with an indignant expression on their face, as the other talked passionately. Ten minutes later, and Nico couldn’t remember what they had been bickering about.

He was half hunched over his sleigh, the cold wind in his face, on the path ahead he could see both Will and the instructor. He could see them, when his eyes weren’t forced closed by the pain in his knee.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever done,” Will said later, when they were sitting on the panoramic spot, feet dangling over the edge. A smile was spitting his face open, darkness had already began falling. He was dressed in a bright orange suit, so that the instructor wouldn’t lose him on the track. Nico had little to laugh about, since he himself was in green. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Nico managed a grimace. The huskies were panting, just a few meters away. The instructor had disappeared back into the hotel, soon Will and Nico would have to get going.

“Kayla would have loved this,” Will said, his voice softer.

Nico knew those eyes. They were the same he had in every photo with Bianca and Hazel, that love struck gaze brothers wore only when they were talking of a sister. So Nico asked about it, heart hammering in his chest. “Your sister?”

Will nodded. He never talked about his family, or at least not with Nico. He should have been a fool not to notice the strange atmosphere and gazes exchanged between Will and Piper. A part of him wondered if Will was falling for Piper. He wouldn’t be the first to do so.

“Yeah, the oldest. Kayla Knowles.” He shrugged, and took a deep breath. “Don’t you think it’s crazy, how we’ve lived alone for days, yet not talked about anything of our lives? Do we–do we actually know each other?”

Nico tightened his lips. It was not the time to talk about the mess they’d made, pain shot through his knee. “I don’t think we do.”

Will nodded. “Yeah. I thought so.”

For a moment, less than a second, Nico wished Will had fought him. He put his hands under his thighs, to avoid doing stupid things, like poking the mole under Will’s left eye, and bicker like only they did.

“This is the part where you start telling me things about yourself,” Will said. He put his chin on his bent knee, giving Nico a sidelong glance.

“Oh. Uh. Elysium. That’s my kingdom’s name. Ancient Greeks believed it was part of the Underworld, for a time. Black flowers grew on the shorelines, and it was so hard to reach them. Too many storms. I thought it was Elysium too, when I was little.”

“Isn’t your father also called Hades?”

Nico grinned. “Grandfather thought he was so funny, when he chose his sons’ names.” He cleared his throat, embarrassment darkening his cheeks even more when silence stretched. “Isn’t it your turn now?”

Nico thought Will mock him, at least a little. ‘Maybe I should tell you the story behind Texas’. Will didn’t, as if he understood how personal Elysium was to Nico, what a great thing it was to admit that, for a time, he’d been foolish enough to want the throne.

Will took a deep breath, his knuckles turned white where he was holding the railing. “I have eight siblings. Lee, Michael, Austin, Kayla, Jerry, Gracie, Yan and Victoria. Lee and Michael were older than me. Now I’m the oldest.” He sniffled, bringing his gloved hand to his nose. “When they–we didn’t live together. We saw each other during holidays, birthdays sometimes. The first year after Michael and Lee died, I didn’t know how to be the oldest. It’s different, you know? I always had them, and they were before me. If the youngers needed something, something clever, they went to them. I couldn’t bring myself to see the others, after the two of them died. I didn’t–I didn’t have anyone to go to.”

The breath was knocked out of Nico’s lungs.

Will chuckled. “I guess I overshared a bit. Sorry.”

“You didn’t,” Nico blurted, so fast Will whipped his head around. He cleared his throat, spoke with far more calm. “You didn’t overshare.”

“You sound pretty put out.”

“I was just thinking about what I wanted people to tell me, after I lost Bianca.” He tasted bitterness on his tongue, so heavy it laced through his words. “I can’t remember.”

“I don’t want you to tell me anything.”

“Yeah. Neither did I.”

Will put his head on Nico’s shoulder. His hat was cold, a bit wet with snow, his breath warm, even through all the layers. Nico leaned against him.

The others were waiting for them inside the hotel. Piper and Leo had managed to convince Jason to stay one more night, to sleep in an igloo room together. Nico had half a mind they would try seducing him. Percy and Annabeth would go to Paris, Annabeth wanted to see Notre Dame. She had never seen it in person. Nico recommended her to see the Dome of Sacré Coeur Basilica first.

“You were talking about Paris?” Will asked, sliding down next to Nico with a cup of hot chocolate in his hands.

Nico ignored that it’d been a gift from the instructor. Only for Will. With Nico standing right next to them. It seemed impossible for Will to go anywhere without having someone fall for him. It had to be the curls. Or the freckles. Maybe the eyes, always so bright and beautiful.

Nico shook his head, to get himself out of the trance.

“-there a couple of times, with my family,” Will admitted, nodding his head. He took the cup to his mouth, and grimaced at the first sip.

“Did the Hot Instructor poison you?” Nico asked. He knew it wasn’t possible, but at least then they’d have a good reason to send him to jail. Or at least never seen him again. He wasn’t so petty after all.

Will huffed. “It’s too hot.” A glint lit his eyes, as he looked at Nico through a thick layer of eyelashes. “Just like the instructor.”

Nico scoffed, crossing his arms. “Yeah, if you’re into bulky men that spend their days riding towards the sunset with huskies.”

Percy snorted. “Who isn’t into that?”

Nico bit his cheek. Annabeth caught his eyes, cocking an eyebrow. Nico sunk lower into his chair, tightening his grasp on the cup holder. Nico didn’t need to look at Will to recognize the mirth in his eyes.

“Anyway,” Leo said. “Before omo celoso here interrupted us, we were listening to a story.”

“You should really stop treating people’s lives like they exist for your entertainment,” Jason told him. Piper giggled, and Leo sent him a wink. Jason’s whole face turned as red as a tomato. Nico imprinted the memory into his head, just in case he ever needed to have something to tease Jason about.

“I was telling them about the time I went to Paris,” Will said. He grimaced. “We were on the Eiffel Tower when my Father’s girlfriend discovered he was cheating on her.”

“With whom?” Leo asked, eagerly leaning on the table.

Will and Piper both burst out laughing. “Well,” Will said, clicking his tongue. “I was eleven at the time. My parents, uh, they divorced when I was eight.”

“Just a quick note,” Piper said. “His oldest half-brother is two years younger than him.”

“Thanks,” Will said. He fixed his eyes on Nico, before dropping to the table. “Very helpful. Uh. So, we were on the Eiffel Tower, and my father’s girlfriend sees him passing the waitress his number. She goes absolutely mad, and she was right, really. My father’s a really lewd man. So she gets his phone, calls a cab for herself and orders a flight back to California. She finds the messages he had exchanged with his lovers.”

“God, that’s so disgusting,” Annabeth said.

“That’s not the worst he’s done,” Piper replied.

“Wait, how do you even know?” Percy asked her.

Piper sent Will a panicked glance, and he cleared his throat. “We were neighbors. Kind of.”

“Oh my God, isn’t that so cute?” Jason exclaimed, his eyes on Nico. As if he knew Nico was storing teasing material. As if this was his revenge. They knew each other well enough for it to be possible. “You two would have met through Piper!”

“So no one’s going to talk about the fact that we discovered it now?” Percy asked. He was ignored.

“I can’t believe we’ve been robbed of the chance of introducing them to each other!” Leo wailed loudly, gathering the attention of the other costumers. “We’d’ve held it over Nico’s head for the rest of our lives.”

“Holding something over my head?” Nico scoffed. “With your height?”

Leo hit him in the shins from under the table, making him hiss. He sent the hit right back, but hit the table.

“Jealousy’s taking your aim away, hombre,” Leo commented.

He was lucky Will’s attention was on Annabeth, or Nico would have used him to replace the table leg.

“I’m absolutely not jealous,” Nico hissed, trying to hit Leo again. He hit the table instead, a jolt of pain shot through his leg.

“You know, just because you’re prince doesn’t mean you can destroy the furniture,” Will chirped with a sickeningly sweet smile, using napkins to rub the spilled chocolate. “By the way, you now owe me a free chocolate.”

“You lost two sips at most.” Nico took a long sip of his coffee, the bitterness heaving on his words, not only his tongue. “If you want another, go back to flirting with the instructor.”

Will leaned closer, batting his eyelashes with a coy smile. “Maybe I’d rather flirt with you for another.”

Nico shoved him by the shoulder, a grin stretching on his lips. “Fuck off.”

They both laughed.

Will fell on the sofa next to Niccolò with a loud sigh. Before turning the TV on, he complained about his tiredness, his old age, the weather.. Niccolò didn’t say a single word, but his eyes were

“The house is silent again,” he said.

“Yeah.” Niccolò cleared his throat, looking away. He crossed his legs, looking like he didn’t know how to act now that they were alone. They would be for a few more days, so he’d better get used back to it. It was unnerving Will.

“I’d gotten used to having them around. Have you always been so close to your cousins?”

Niccolò grunted. “I wouldn’t say we’re close, even now.”

“You look like it.”

“Maybe we are.” He stayed silent long enough for Will to think he wouldn’t add anything. “With–with Jason. It’s more complicated with Percy. I’ve seen him much more than Jason, and we–I had–” He cleared his throat, but his hands were shaking, and Will wanted to wrap his own fingers around Niccolò’s. He knew the other wouldn’t like it, though. “He was already around when Bianca died. So. I took him out on him.” He passed a hand through his hair. It wasn’t very long, less than an inch, what with being cut short in the military.

“He looks at you like you are his little brother, though.”

“I hated it back then.” He nodded toward the television, before Will could do as much as thinking about asking more. “So, why are you on YouTube again?”

“I just realized I never got around to watching your eleven awkward moments.”

Niccolò groaned.

Niccolò was around fifteen years old. He held a scepter, or what looked like it. People all around were looking at him, cameras going off. He kept looking around, never keeping his eyes on something a second too long. Then, he mouthed at the King, and his words had been written as subtitles:

What was I supposed to do now?

The MC smiled at Niccolò. Niccolò nodded and smiled. Hazel talked, the MC responded. Niccolò looked at the crowd. Cheers and screams grew louder. Some people shouted his name. Others that they wanted to marry him. Niccolò grimaced.

Prince Niccolò: Great King of Shut the Hell Up

Niccolò got out of the car, walking toward the entrance of the hotel without paying much attention to the people screaming his name. That is, until someone shouted “Prince Neeks!”

It was a reporter. And Niccolò, disdain clear on his face, closed the button of his jacket. His lips were tilted downwards, his chin and nose all scrunched up.

“It’s Niccolò.”

Will was doubled over in laughter, half down the couch. Niccolò sat still, only a slight twitch on his mouth, not quite a smile. Not quite a frown either.

“So, how does it feel like to be the Prince?”

“Well. I’ve always been a prince, so. It feels like every other day feels.”

The reporter laughed. “Can’t say I know what that is.”

Niccolò nodded. The reporter nodded. They nodded at each other.

“God, this is such a torture.”

“You really do make everything awkward. I wish I’d filmed our first few hours together.”

Niccolò groaned from behind his hands.

“I would be a billionaire by now.”

“Nico say hi!” Came Piper’s voice from behind the camera. She was filming an Instagram story.

Nico looked up. He was sitting in front of a piano, a grimace on his face as soon as he took in the scene. He didn’t move.

Eventually, he waved. He sent a panicked glance to something behind Piper’s phone.

“Say hi!” Piper insisted.

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“But I did!”

“You should’ve said hi.”

He hesitated. Sighed. Waved again. “Hi.”

“You have a beautiful soul,” a girl told Niccolò, holding her phone in his face.

His gaze was focused on something out of the frame, a grimace on his face. “Yours, too.”

The girl’s phone fell, her gasp alerting Niccolò that something was happening in front of him. From the ground, the camera still recorded.

“Sorry. You were saying about your sauce?”

Niccolò fell asleep a little after their third video. It wasn’t even half past ten, but he snored lightly. Will lowered the TV volume, put the red blanket with reindeers on him, and leaned back into the couch.

Niccolò was beautiful. He was beautiful under the sun, when the snow glowed all around them. He was beautiful in the morning, when he always stopped mid-stairs to rub his eyes. He was beautiful as Will watched him, with the blue light of the TV, the golden one of the fireplace, shining on the little pout he always wore as he slept.

The knot enveloping Will’s stomach tightened. He took the remote again, and searched for another video. He was met with his parents’ faces in the home. They were young back then. He clicked before he even realized it.

“Before Apollo’s new auto-biographic film comes out next March, we decided to take a walk down memory-line, with the evergreen love between Apollo and Naomi. Both young when they met, they had just become part of the music world. Their first single together sold millions of copies, enough to–”

So enthralled on the old family photos, Will didn’t realize Niccolò had awoken, and his hand had sneaked around Will’s wrist.

“So you are a fan?”

Will looked away from the TV. It was so strange, hearing the woman talk (gossip) about his family, and having Niccolò in the same room. Guilt fell heavy on his chest, constricting his lungs.

I’m their son.

“I–” His breath broke.

They are my parents.

“They –”

They are the reason I can’t look at you and think we could ever work, even if we fell in love and were crazy for each other.

“A fan, yeah.”

Niccolò smiled, stretching his arms. When he stretched his legs, he grimaced. “Yeah, I thought so. You looked pretty taken with Apollo the other day.”

Will nodded. “Yeah.”

“He has a sister, you know?” He yawned, his mouth opened so much his jaw could have dislocated.

Will nodded again. He knew. He had only met her on two occasions, his brothers’ funerals. If his siblings’ funerals were the only times they would ever meet, Will hoped to never see her again.

“I don’t like her,” Niccolò mumbled. His eyes drifted closed, and a second later he was snoring again.

Less than a minute, and his cheek was on Will’s shoulder. Dark hair brushed again his nose, and he took a long breath. Pomegranate. Niccolò tasted of them.

Will turned off the TV, and closed his eyes. He wasn’t tired, but he matched Niccolò’s breath. He slept.

Spotted!

Prince Nico of Elysium and his soulmate have been spotted being cozy in Livigno. Although their stay in the Italian city was made public days ago, clear photos of them hadn’t been released yet (go to gallery). The Prince’s sexuality has been subject of speculation for many years, with Cupid’s–stage name of famous pap–confirmation that he is, indeed, homosexual. However, it isn’t known whether the Prince’s soulmate might be homosexual as well.

The Royal Family hasn’t released any statement regarding the nature of their relationship, although close sources state have stated, that ‘The Prince is quite taken with a close friend of his,’ but the name hasn’t been revealed. Who between Nameless Soulmate and Nameless Friend will win the Prince’s heart?

Stay tuned to discover!

Latest updates:

Naomi to be featured in Apollo: between glory and reality

Is Tristan McLean’s daughter Piper’s new suspected sweetheart an ex Hollywood kid?

Apollo: between glory and reality, ten reasons to watch it

#solangelo #riordanuniverse #nico di angelo #percy jackon and the olympians #will solace #percy jackson #rick riordan #riordanverse #rickriordan #apollo

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thenakedgingerwrites · 4 years

Text

The Love Potion

I had accepted that I was gay around freshman year of high school but had never come out. Now a Junior in college, the only sexual experience I had with a man was letting a guy blow me drunkenly at a random house party. Luckily none of our friends overlapped and a word of the encounter was never uttered. However, it made me crave a man that much more. All that to say, I was a convincing straight guy. Most of my friends were guys, and my closest friends were all guys from my high school football team. Most of them stayed in town to go to the local university like myself, so we stayed close. There were pros and cons to that but the major con was losing the ability to experiment and find my true sexuality without the fear of being rejected by my previous 'life.' My risk aversion was subsiding though. Partly due to the blowjob I got a couple months ago, but mainly due to Ben.

After dorms, a few of my friends got a house together near campus. It was a 5 bedroom house and worked perfectly for us. That is until one of our buddies, for a few personal reasons, dropped out and moved back home with his parents. Luckily we were able to find a couple dudes via craigslist that needed a room for the rest of the year, Ben being one of them. There was another guy that was actually the better candidate between the two, but I had pushed that we give the room to Ben. My friends didn't put up too much of a fuss or pry as to why I think he was the right choice, which I'm grateful for. I don't know how they would have taken my rationale being he was incredibly hot. When I first met Ben that day he was wearing khaki shorts that hugged his thighs and huge bubble butt and a varsity T that molded around his rounded, muscular body. Ben was short, maybe 5'8" or so. Definitely the stocky-muscle type of guy, but had maybe been drinking a little more than he should and going to the gym less. What it created was a slightly curvy but still very attractive body, from what I could tell. His face was his best quality though. Everything about him was puppy dog. He had doughy eyes, pouty lips, and an adorable button nose. Short crew cut and the hint of a shoulder tattoo later, I was lusting for him hard. After he moved in, my fantasies didn't exactly come to fruition as I had imagined. The "bump into him after a shower and his towel falls" scenario didn't happen, and he unfortunately wasn't a guy that liked to get naked for the humor factor as some of my other friends were. He did drink a lot which was maybe a gateway opportunity, but our friend circles were different. I tried to make connections but due to my hidden motives, I would always second guess myself or get too nervous. He was becoming more and more a roommate, and less and less a sex toy. And then one day, during lunch with another one of our roommates, he shared that he was super superstitious. He believed in a natural medicines too. His mom was apparently Wiccan, and although he didn't latch on to the religious side of his mother's beliefs he did believe in 'herbal magic' as he called it. We made fun of him a bit and the three of us laughed it off. The cogs had begun to wirr in my mind though. I could use this, but how? A week of googling and research led me to the idea of a love potion. There were a few different recipes or 'spells' or whatever online, and the lust was clouding my judgement as to whether this was a sound idea or not. There was a moment of doubt during the week but after Ben came in from a run, sweaty and shirtless, his round pecs and keg-abs in perfect view, I was able to wave away any hesitation. It took another week for Ben and I to be the only guys in the house for the evening, and it was now or never. I knocked on his door. There was some rustling, but opened it shortly after. He was already in 'pajamas' which consisted of loose basketball shorts and a tight t-shirt with the words "All American" written on them. "Hey, Matt. What's up?" He asked, leaning on his door frame. I was nervous, but needed to be the perfect actor tonight. "I have a.. er.. well a really random question. And it's kind of stupid." He chuckled a bit. "Okay, shoot." "You mentioned your mom the other week, and it got me curious." "Oh god," he started, rolling his eyes, "I promise I'm not a crazy person." I quickly stopped him. "No, no! That's not what I meant. See, there's this girl in my finance course that I've been crushing on hard. We've talked a few times but I don't know if she's interested. I did some googling and it looks like there's this... Wiccan love potion.." Ben's eyebrows raised, he was curious and amused. "Go on..." I felt like he was just looking for the opportunity to call me the crazy one and laugh this all off, but I continued. "Well, I'm desperate and thought I'd give it a try but could use your help. I know it's stupid, but what's a little science experiment anyway?" I laughed it off, trying to pretend I didn't really believe it would work. Which I didn't, for the record. "Well I wholly believe in that stuff, man. Herbs can be a powerful thing. They can release all sorts of chemicals in your mind to mimic emotions like love, fear, happiness, yadda yadda. Did you get a recipe for it?" I mocked a bit, "Wait, you don't have a family secret there?" We both laughed. "I do actually, and I think I have all I need but wanted you to sanity check it. See if it seems bogus." He agreed, and we went up to my room. I closed the door behind us, while unnecessary it seemed more intimate for me and try my plan. So far it was working, but the real test was yet to come. I shared the ingredients and steps I found online, and he agreed with what it was saying. Rosemary brings out this feeling, and this herb reduces inhibitions, and blah blah crazy person talk. It could have actually been a turn off, but even if I didn't believe an ounce of what was coming out of Ben's mouth he sure did know a lot about this voodoo science. And that was impressive on it's own. We worked the next 20 minutes or so creating this 'love potion.' There were a few electric moments for me like when he would help me grind an herb down and our hands would touch, or he would read out the next step and layer in his own 'professional' opinion. At one point, when he was sitting on the ground with his knees up, his shorts slid up his thigh so much that I wondered if he was even wearing underwear. The thoughts were setting me ablaze inside. When it was finally done, he explained the last steps. "So, you basically just need to add a piece of your hair to some of this, and then somehow get her to drink it." "And then what?" "I guess just wait? I'm not really sure how this concoction will work, it could affect anyone differently." Now to setup my plan. "Now I just need to find a clever way to get her to drink some random, greenish liquid. And it won't even work anyway." "Don't question the juice man, this stuff has enough herbs to turn her on to a cactus." He seemed so serious. "I just wish there was a way to test it. Well, you believe it will work so strongly how about you drink a swig. If you try and kiss me after then I'll know it's legit." Ben just laughed. "If only you could be so lucky!" I pushed it, "No really. You can prove to me that it's real. The effect is only supposed to be temporary right?" Ben got a tad more serious. "Matt, I know it will work. You're the one doubting my skills man." "Okay, you're right. I don't think this can work. I hoped it would, but this shit would be in stores everywhere if it really did." I started to ham up my disappointment. "I don't think the FDA would let it get to there. Plus most people are huge skeptics like you, so no one would buy into it." I looked into his eyes to hold a stare for a beat. "You really do believe in this stuff don't you?" "I do. Well, not all of the Wiccan stuff, but herbs and spices are just science. No need to believe anything." I got some confidence up, acting of course, and wagered with him. "Okay fine, I'll test it out." "With who?" Ben asked, admittedly he actually looked confused. Adorable. "You." He furrowed his eyebrows. "That's not funny, Matt." "No, really. No offense, I don't think I'm going to suck your face after taking a swig of this but I'm willing to take that chance." He chuckled, "that's a risky bet." "I don't think we're eye-to-eye on the odds here Ben." I chuckled back to him. He sighed. "Okay, well don't blame me when you think I'm a total hottie." "Don't worry," I sarcastically retorted, "I won't." Ben took a tiny scoop of the liquid into a measuring cup and plucked out a hair from his head. "You want me to drink your hair?!" I feigned minor disgust. "It need's some DNA. I could put some earwax in there if you'd prefer." I stuck my tongue out and agreed that the hair would suffice. "On second thought..." Ben put the cup down and stood up. He reached into his shorts, to my excitement but composed an expression of confusion, and winced a bit. Removing his hand from his crotch region, he held onto a single pube. He grinned. "Seriously dude, fuck you! I'm not eating your pube. Now I know this is a crock of shit." I didn't know how far to push my aversion but was still afraid of being outed by not having a big enough reaction. "This potion is rooted in sexual urges, and so a hair more closely rooted to sexual connotations should be more potent. You're not scared now are you?" Ben teased. "Scared of choking to death on one of your smelly pubes? Yeah." He held the hair up to his nose and took an exaggerated inhale. "It's not smelly." "Ugh." I rolled my eyes and pretended to dry heave. "You better not tell a soul about this." He mimed his other hand zipping his lips. I sighed, "fine give me your damn pube water potion." "Let me remind you this was your idea." "yeah, yeah yeah..." He added the tiny dark blonde hair into the cup and swirled it around a bit then handed it to me. "Bon appetite," he cheerfully said as he handed me the cup. I took it down in one quick gulp and followed with a few swigs of water we had nearby. It tasted like old rainwater some leaves have been decaying in. "Did it taste romantic?" Ben asked. "It tasted like dead raccoon, but that probably just your pube." We both laughed at the situation. The next minute we sat silently waiting for something to happen. I asked when I would feel this magical urge to kiss him and he shrugged. Works different on every person he said again. "Well, I don't think I find you super sexy. Sorry to ruin your night Ben." "Oh shut up, it's only been a minute. Let's play a game. Simon says." "Seriously?" he lost me. "One of the effects of the potion is that you should be willing to be persuaded by me much easier. What's one thing you would never do, even if I asked you to?" "Ben, I'm not sucking your dick. Sorry bud." Again we both laughed. He continued. "I'm not thinking anything that extreme, but good to know. Me either. Try this, stand up." I got up while acting like I was being pulled up by some ghost. "Oh my god Ben, you're a voodoo god!" "I really am," he said, amused. "Now spin around." I did as was told, still hamming it up. "Jump. Touch your toes. Blink your eyes. Pinch yourself." He had me do routine, mundane tasks for a couple minutes. I stopped pretending a ghost was manipulating me at some point and just did as I was told, kind of forgetting what was going on. Then finally he told me to take off my pants. It snapped me back to consciousness. I pushed back against the command accusing him of just wanting to see my dick and called him a perv. He said, "no, no. Just your sweatpants, you goof." Somehow this made it much more palatable and the pants dropped immediately. I stood there in my t-shirt and boxer briefs staring at Ben for my next move. He stood up, walked over to my bed and plopped down face first. He told me to give him a back massage. I no longer really knew what was me and what was the potion, but I honestly didn't care. I got up on the bed and straddled him. After a few minutes of massaging his back he told me to take off his shirt. I did, then continued the massage. His skin was so smooth and soft under my hands. My own butt resting on his was starting to pool blood to my crotch. "Massage my ass" and I did. I shifted down lower and began to knead his huge bubble butt through his shorts. A minute of this and he told me to strip him completely. He helped a little by arching his back, but the shorts quickly peeled down off his legs revealing his succulent globes just asking for my hands. The massage continued and I enjoyed every second of it. His ass was so warm to my cool hands. It was lightly dusted in dark blond hair but not really hairy like some of the guys I'd see in the locker room. It was definitely the biggest though. As I kneaded his butt, I would get more daring with my movements. I would get closer to his crack but the move away. Timid. I began to turn my kneading movements into spreading ones, exposing his hole a little more each time. My thumbs would rub inward towards his hole when I spread his cheeks. It started subtle, I think, but at some point became very deliberately sexual. I had almost touched his little dark rosebud when he said, "Yep, you're gay for me right now." Startled, I jumped off him and stammered my protest. He rolled his head over and laughed. "It's okay dude, it's the potion. I won't tell anyone." I reiterated, "I"m not gay for you dude. I was just giving you a massage, that's not gay." He looked down, "Your boner begs to differ." I followed his eyes and saw my cock stretching against the elastic of my boxer briefs, slightly peeking above the band. I covered up my shame. "I"m not gay" I said again. "I know, Matt. But for the sake of our deal, I've gotta do this." I was about to ask “do what?” but he beat me to it. He turned over to reveal his semi-hard cock and balls, nestled in a light patch of dark blonde hair. "Suck my dick." I instantly remembered that when I drank the potion this is exactly what I said I wouldn't do. However at this point Ben seemed confident that the potion was in complete control and I could finally live out my fantasy without any repercussion. I didn't hesitate. I got back on the bed and shoved my face into his crotch. I hadn't sucked a cock before, and honestly hadn't even been this close to another dick in my life. Ben wasn't fully hard yet, but I could already tell he was bigger than me. Probably only about 6 or 7 inches long like me but much thicker. His balls were larger too. I wondered how I would fit it in my mouth if it kept growing but accepted the challenge. I used one hand to guide his member into my mouth. I only took a couple inches in to wet it with saliva. He tasted so good. Slightly salty but a pretty neutral flavor overall. For some reason I had imagined a cock would taste just like what cum smelled like. I was happy to see it was far less extreme. As I whetted him fully and began to pump him while I swirled my tongue around his head, Ben began to get audible. He started with just some sighs and moans, but quickly began to give me specific directions. "Jack me harder, lick my shaft, suck my balls, swirl your tongue, deep throat me." His hands began to guide my head as well. I gladly took the direction. He had gotten fully erect by now. I came up for air to admire his cock. I was right about it's size. It may even be a bit shorter than mine, but boy was it thick. Although it realistically couldn't have been as thick as a soda can, it looked like it without a direct comparison. "Don't stop Matt!" Ben looked down at me during my break and quickly got me back on task. I sucked and pumped him but I wanted a little more. I took a creative liberty and started to trail my mouth downward. I had seen in hundreds of porn clips guys eating out another guy's ass. I'd never had it done to me to validate if it felt as good as porn made it seem, but wanted to test it out on Ben. I don't think the thought would have crossed his mind, but once I began sucking on his taint and still moved south he got the hint and silently complied. Ben arched back and raised his legs and ass up into the air. I kept one hand firmly around his cock and jacked him off as my tongue made it's fast approach to Ben's virgin asshole. The taste was unique. He had clearly showered some point in the evening, but still I thought it would taste a little like, well, shit. I was delighted to discover it didn't. It almost tasted like a sweet cologne. There was a musky quality but also a sweet aroma. I mimicked all the actions I'd seen in porn. I licked his hole, spat on it, sucked on it. Ben seemed to like just the simple lick the most, and so I focused on that. It didn't take long into this new experience for him to reach climax. His breathing began to speed up and he breathed/growled, "I'm gonna cum." I had a conflict of interest. I had never seen another guy cum in real life, and wanted to watch him erupt all over himself for my viewing pleasure. I also had never tasted another man's cum before, and the thought of taking his explosion into my mouth was incredibly hot too. It was a split second decision, but I threw his hips back down to the bed and wrapped my lips around his cock. Ben tried to push my head off him and breathed a "no, you don't have.." but I swatted him away and brought him to the point of orgasm. He went past the moan decibel and actually yelled in pleasure as he erupted into the back of my throat. The warm, sticky liquid shot ribbon after ribbon against the back of my mouth. I attempted to swallow between bursts but turns out swallowing when there's a cock in your mouth is hard or at least it was for me, so some of his seed dripped out of my mouth and down his shaft. I milked every ounce out of him, and even squeezed his cock like a toothpaste tube to get the last few drops. Ben's intensely tense, and sweaty body turned to putty after a few shudders. I sucked on his cock for another minute or so as it waned in my mouth. Finally accepting that my fun was done for the night, I let it pop out of my mouth. Ben arched up on his elbows. "You have a nice dick." I said, smiling. He chuckled, "that's the potion talking, but thanks." The potion. I had forgotten. Ben read the look but mistook it for more of a panic. He leaned up and grabbed his shorts from the floor, quickly slipping them on. Grabbing his shirt he said, "I should go take a shower. I'm really sorry about this." I tried to stop him but he was out my door and down the stairs in a blink. I just laid there on my bed staring up at the ceiling. My first time sucking a cock was amazing, and of all people it was with Ben: my ultimate fantasy man. I heard the water turn on from the shower the floor below, and took the opportunity to finally pleasure myself. I imagined Ben in the shower and replayed the last hour in my head. I came with more force and volume than I had, maybe ever. I cleaned myself and my room up, and waited to walk down and approach Ben. I finally got the courage a couple hours later but when I approached his room I could tell the lights were off and turned back. I'm not sure if I'd ever get that chance again with Ben. One thing for sure though, I was 100% addicted to dick and needed more. I had lived 21 years without it and had all that time to make up for. How I was going to get it, would be another adventure.

#magic #mind control #cmnm #aware

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ddixons-angel · 4 years

Text

Fated: Season 3

Summary: Gloria Rhee narrowly escapes Atlanta with her brother as the outbreak reaches the city. Luckily, they find a camp outside the city and together, they fend through encounters with the living and undead.

Starts a little before Season 1 and then follows the main storyline of the show.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Glenn Sister!OC

Warnings: major TWD spoilers, language, violence (the typical TWD stuff)

A/N: I can’t believe there’s only two more chapters left of Season 3! Like I said before, I’m most likely going to go back to posting once a week once we hit Season 5, unless you guys want me to keep going with twice a week? Let me know~~ Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 9

The next day after Andrea had visited the prison, offering to set up a meeting with the Governor, Rick took Michonne and Carl out on a run. He had mentioned the night previously after Andrea had left that they needed to stock up supplies, more specifically weapons, for when the Governor attacks. Glenn, Hershel, Beth, and Judith were in the cell block while Maggie and Carol were both on watch. Daryl was outside having a smoke on the picnic table outside as Merle was lounging about in the connecting hallway of Cell Block D; Maggie and Glenn didn’t want Merle always hanging around outside their block so Rick and Daryl agreed to move him to another cell block. Gloria was at the kitchen area washing some dishes from lunch. As she put the last dish away to dry, she wipes her hands on a cloth before hanging it over the sink. She’s about to walk back to the cell block when she hears a whistle emitting from where Merle was. Gloria rolls her eyes as she looks over to the man who was already looking at her through the gate.

“What?” she says, not amused.

“Listen, I jus’ wanna talk.” Merle tells her, he raises up his arms to show her that he’s not being hostile, “no tricks or nothin’.”

Gloria ponders for a moment before nodding and follows his lead to his own cell block. She knows that Merle can’t beat her in a fight, injured or not, Merle still only has one hand and Gloria was able to beat him up when he still had two. Plus, she had her daggers on her.

Once in the cell block, Merle lets out a sigh and turns around to face Gloria but is met with her fist. He stumbles back at the punch, not at all expecting it. Before he’s able to shout for her to stop, she knees him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of his lungs.

“That was for beating up Glenn and taking Maggie to the Governor!” Gloria seethes in anger, she then strikes his back with her elbow then pushes him to the ground.

Merle groans in pain, “an’ what was that for?!”

“All the times you pissed me off.” Gloria huffs then leans on the wall, crossing her arms as she looks at him.

Instead of being angry, Merle laughs at her answer then sits on the ground, leaning back on his hands and pauses a bit before he starts talking, “‘M sorry. For what I did to your brother and that farmer girl. But I do have to let ya know, if it weren’t for me, Glenn’d be dead.”

Gloria rolls her eyes and scoffs at his words, “Do you actually think I’m going to believe that you saved Glenn by beating him up? You were going to execute them! You think I’m stupid?!”

“If it were anyone else, Glenn’d be dead. They woulda killed him, I jus’ dragged it out! Had to make it look realistic or they’d jus’ shoot him straight up!” Merle defends and Gloria eyes him, not knowing whether to believe him or not, seeing this, he sighs, “look, I didn’ want Glenn to die ‘cause o’ what ya did for me on the roof. Ya stayed. Even if it was for Daryl, ya still stayed.”

Gloria’s face softens at his words, hearing the sincerity behind them, “you still threw a walker at Glenn...”

“Come on, I knew he could take it! Kid’s a ninja!” Merle exclaims causing Gloria to scoff.

“Ninjas are Japanese, Merle.” Gloria corrects him.

Merle rolls his eyes at that, “hey I’m tryin’ ‘ere, a’right? Gimme a break.”

Gloria chuckles then lets out a breath, “is this what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Nah,” he shakes his head, “I wanted to talk to ya about Daryl.”

Gloria frowns, confused. Why would he want to talk to her about his brother? She looks at him, Merle’s expression unreadable but serious as he looks back at her.

“My baby brother,” he starts, “he cares a lot ‘bout ya. I know jus’ by the way he looks at ya, I’ve never seen that look in his eye before, not wit’ anyone. But you, you’re the reason he came back to this prison.”

Gloria ponders his words, “he... did he tell you that?”

“Hell nah! He’d never admit that shit!” Merle chuckles, covering up for Daryl, “but he didn’ need to, I jus’ know, I raised him after all!”

A sense of guilt raises inside Gloria, she doesn’t know what to think. A few days ago, she had yelled at Daryl for leaving, saying that he didn’t care at all about her or the group. Sure, they were words of anger but Gloria was trying to convince herself rather than him as a sense of protection in case he ever left without a word again. Now, Merle was here vouching for Daryl, telling her that he cares a lot about her in particular.

“Jus’... take it easy on my brother, a’right?” Merle says with a heavy sigh, “he ain’ good with words an’ ain’ ever been good at relationships, hell, he doesn’ even know the love of a parent... but he’s tryin’, ya know? He’s tryin’ for you.”

Gloria looks up at him, a thoughtful look on her face, “why are you telling me all this?”

“‘Cause you’re the only broad I can see worthy o’ takin’ care o’ my brother. Ya sure can pack hell of a punch, and if ya can keep ol’ Merle in check, ya definitely can keep Daryl in check.” Merle says with a genuine smile.

Gloria’s about to respond but both of their attention is taken away from each other as they hear quick paced footsteps emitting from the hallway. They turn their heads to look at the door and Daryl and Glenn emerge with worry written on both their faces. However, their look of worry is soon replaced by looks of confusion as they survey the scene in front of them. Gloria was leaning on the wall, unscathed, while Merle was sitting on the ground with a split lip and bloody nose. Glenn and Daryl glance at each other, communicating without words on who won the fight. Daryl makes his way over to help Merle up as Glenn goes over to Gloria who pushes herself off the wall.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Glenn says, his tone full of disapproval.

“Getting revenge for you.” Gloria shrugs then follows Glenn back to their cell block.

Daryl pulls Merle up to his feet and gives him a onceover, “she beat ya up again?” he asks, trying to hide a look of amusement.

“Ya got one hell of a woman there, little brother.” Merle chuckles as he watches the blush creep up on Daryl’s face, he then places his hand on Daryl’s shoulder, making the younger look at him, “she’ll come around, and when she does, ya hold on to her. She’s a keeper, that one!”

Wanting to hide his embarrassment, Daryl scoffs and pushes Merle’s arm off him, “shut up.”

Merle laughs as he watches Daryl walk out of the cell block back to his own. He shakes his head at how flustered the younger man can get. Smiling to himself, Merle retreats to one of the many cells and rests.

---

The next day, Rick, Daryl, and Hershel had left the prison to meet with the Governor for possible negotiations. When Rick had come back from his run with Carl and Michonne, he had brought back a full artillery of weapons to fight the Governor. Andrea had told them that they were to meet up at noon the following day, but for precautions and to scope out the area, the three of them had left in the morning. Gloria and Carol were on watch together on the watch platform leaving everyone else back in either the cell block or main area.

“How’s your shoulder?” Carol asks, giving Gloria a smile.

“It’s good,” Gloria glances over at her bandaged shoulder then back at Carol, also with a smile, “doesn’t hurt anymore, so I’d say it’s healing well.”

“What about things with Daryl? Are they also healing well?” Carol asks, curious while also giving Gloria a knowing look.

Gloria blushes slightly at the question then looks away into the courtyard, “I had a chat with Merle about Daryl yesterday. He says that Daryl... he really cares about me and that I’m the reason he came back.”

“Do you believe him?” Carol questions, more for Gloria than her own curiosity.

“I don’t know... I mean, he didn’t sound like he was lying but...” Gloria lets out a sigh and looks down.

“It’s okay, give it time. I don’t think you should give up on Daryl, people and feelings are all we truly have these days. And what you have with Daryl is special,” Carol puts her hand on Gloria’s shoulder as Gloria nods, “have you forgiven him yet?”

“Honestly? I don’t even know.” Gloria purses her lips, “whenever I think about how he just left, I still feel mad, but I am glad he’s back. I’m happy he’s back with us. I just don’t know when I’ll stop being mad at him for leaving.”

Carol nods, understanding and gives Gloria’s shoulder a light pat but before she can say anything in reply, a gunshot sounds from the direction of the cell block. Both women glance at each other, exchanging looks of worry before bolting off to the cell block. Once they open the door to the prison to the main area outside of their cell block, they see Beth holding a gun aimed to the ceiling and Merle on the ground wrestling with Glenn.

“What the hell is going on here?!” Gloria shouts, gaining everyone’s attention.

“Merle wants to intrude on the meeting with the Governor,” Maggie explains while glaring at Merle, “but Glenn isn’t letting him go.”

Gloria sighs and goes down the steps, “Merle, get off of Glenn, now!”

Merle, who is still pinning Glenn down on the ground, glances up at Gloria then back at Glenn and pushes himself off the ground, freeing her brother. He takes a few steps back from the other man as Glenn gets up as well, both men eyeing each other.

“All o’ ya say ya wanna beat the damn Governor, but ya ain’t doin’ shit to beat him! We know where he is! We can ambush him and kill him there!” Merle shouts.

“Merle, you know that puts Daryl and the others in danger too, right?” Gloria asks rhetorically.

“And them three goin’ doesn’ put ‘em in danger? How do we know that the Governor didn’t bring his entire army to this meetin’?” Merle yells back, his worry evident in his voice.

“You’re right, we don’t know that. But what you’re suggesting is too big a risk to take.” Gloria takes another step down on the steps so that she’s level with the others, “think about it, Merle. Regardless of whether the Governor took his entire army, if they have a lookout and catch us trying to ambush them, Daryl, Rick, and Hershel are still with the Governor. They could turn it into a hostage situation and it puts them in even more danger. You may not care about Rick or Hershel, but I know you care about Daryl and you want to look out for him, but wanting to ambush the Governor does the complete opposite of that.”

“Yeah, that’s what we’ve all been trying to tell him but he just doesn’t get it with that thick skull of his.” Glenn says, still glaring at Merle.

His words provoke Merle as he growls, lunging at Glenn but only to be stopped as Gloria unsheathes one of her daggers and presses it to Merle’s throat, making him freeze in place.

“Keep moving and see what happens.” Gloria challenges him.

Merle glares at her but moves back, he can’t help but admit to himself that he’s quite impressed with how badass Gloria is. Still huffing in anger, he backs off from Glenn and the others.

He then looks at Gloria, “I didn’ wanna cause trouble, like ya said, I only wanted to help Daryl.”

“You can help him by shutting up and waiting for them to come back.” Gloria says as she puts her dagger back into its sheath then turns to Glenn, “and no more bitter retorts from you either.”

Glenn crosses his arms and huffs, not saying anything else as he knows he was guilty of provoking Merle. He lets out another breath before making his way to the door and going outside to get some air. Merle goes to the hallway connecting his cell block to the main area and sits along the wall. Gloria looks over at Carol and they both sigh, glad that the damage of the altercation was somewhat minimal to say the least.

---

Next Chapter

A lot of Merle in this chapter hehe so yeah I might have grown a soft spot for Merle, at first I hated him but after rewatching the show over, I grew to like him, in his own twisted way, he does care for Daryl! That and he’s also Mary Poppins hahaha sorry there wasn’t many Gloria Daryl moments, but I needed this chapter, what did you think of Merle’s interacts with Gloria though?? Let me know!!!

I hope everyone stays safe and healthy, please don’t panic, we will get through this!

And as always, I would really appreciate any comments left for me! I’ll be replying to any comments in a new post because this is a sideblog!

Taglist (please let me know if you’d list to be added/removed!):

#Daryl Dixon #Daryl Dixon Fanfic #Daryl Dixon Fanfiction #Daryl Dixon Imagine #Daryl Dixon X OC #Daryl Dixon X Original Character #TWD #TWD Fanfic #TWD Fanfiction #TWD Imagine #The Walking Dead #The Walking Dead Fanfic #The Walking Dead Fanfiction #The Walking Dead Imagine #Glenn Sister!OC #Glenn Sister!Original Character #Glenn Rhee #Fated: Season 3 #Fated: S3: Chapter 9

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hydra-collector · 4 years

Text

Whole: Chapter Five

AO3

Fic Page (all chapters listed here)

Second Fic in the Series

Chapters Finished: 6/6

Ship: Intrulogical

Characters: Logan Sanders, Remus Sanders

TW: self-harm, kissing, food, crying

Words: 1,229

Summary: Remus and Logan have a day out.

“God, we really need to go on more proper dates.”

“Preferably ones that aren’t as expensive as this restaurant,” Logan commented, studying the menu.

“There’s some cheaper places, plus places like lakes and abandoned buildings that don’t cost anything. How cool does a picnic in an abandoned building sound? Once I got a bunch of people to come with me, and my brother Roman-”

“Roman’s your brother? I fucking fell in love with one of my best friend’s brother?”

“You know him? You?”

“Since seventh grade.”

“I started dating someone who’s friends with my brother. If I learned that when we first met, I would’ve probably stopped talking to you that exact moment.”

“Well, you don’t talk about him very much.”

“...Yeah,” Remus leaned back in his seat, looking away, “he doesn’t like me very much.”

“My brother’s not much of a fan of me either. Well, he makes sure I know he loves me, but that’s mostly just his personality. I think he thinks I don’t talk about my feelings enough. No shit, Patton.”

Remus chuckled, sipping his water before glaring at it and shaking a bit of salt in it. He swished it around before noticing the look on Logan’s face.

“What? It’s supposed to help with digestion.”

“I know, but… well, if it tastes drinkable to you, I suppose it’s worth it.”

“So why are you friends with my brother?”

“I- I don’t know, Remus. Virgil liked him, and so does Patton. Although they all seem to prefer talking to my brother at this point.”

“Talk to whoever you want, then. And if Patton’s stealing your friends, you steal them right the fuck back, alright babe?”

Logan laughed, the waiter appearing from behind him, taking both of their orders. He wondered vaguely if they should’ve left by this point, considering that they were spending a good deal of their money on just the restaurant. They’d planned to go to a thrift shop afterwards, but whether it would be worth it to only be able to get a very limited amount of things, they didn’t know quite yet. Although Remus might end up changing their plans for the two of them, considering he had good reason to.

“Well, that was thoroughly disappointing.”

The meal hadn’t been worth the money, Logan decided as they exited. It hadn’t even been that expensive, Remus just hadn’t brought a lot of money and Logan didn’t have very much money to bring. He had been trying to get a proper job, not just doing odd jobs around his neighborhood and saving the little money he got for college. But he’d indulge with his boyfriend, at least once in a while.

“Next time we’ll just go to a food truck.”

“I think that’s a much better idea.”

“So, where’re we going? Unless you really wanna go to the thrift store, I think we should wait for another day. I tend to buy a lot of stuff at thrift stores. Once I found little octopus figurines. One of them broke, though.”

“...So, where else?”

Remus paused for a moment. “I realize that it also involves spending money, but we should really go to the record store.”

“I don’t think-”

“Too late, we’re going.”

Logan smiled as Remus grabbed his hand and led him down the crowded sidewalk, past shops and alleyways. The restaurant was soon far in the distance, and Logan couldn’t tell if Remus actually knew where the record shop was. Soon, though, they arrived there, stepping inside to see the stacks arranged neatly. Remus immediately began sifting through them, picking up one with a rather interesting cover and showing it to Logan.

“What do you think?”

Logan examined it more closely. “I think you don’t enjoy jazz.”

“But it looks so cool.”

Logan took it from him to put it back. “But you’re never gonna listen to it.”

“...Yeah. But most of the stuff in here I’m not gonna listen to.”

“Think a little more critically at least, though.”

Remus didn’t end up finding anything that interested him, but he did sweep up Logan in a dance to the music playing in the store. Logan tried to convince him that they were likely disturbing the other customers (especially considering that they weren’t buying anything) to which Remus replied “we’re gay, they can’t stop us.” Logan could do nothing but sigh and lean into the dance.

Before they left, though, one record did catch Logan’s eye. Remus convinced Logan to let him pay for it, likely so his boyfriend wouldn’t steal his record player again, and also so he’d have a reason to bring Logan over to his house, where Patton wouldn’t accidentally interrupt their makeout sessions.

“You wanna hang out on the docks until one of our parents calls to yell at us to come home?”

“I’d love to.”

Remus grinned, wide and excited, again pulling Logan by the hand. They steadied into a slower pace, Remus’s grip tighter than it probably should be. Logan listened to him talk endlessly about whatever came to his mind, whether it was spurred on from their surroundings or completely unrelated thoughts.

The river was quiet at this time of day. Most boaters had gone home, and few people hung around the area anyway. There was a breeze as they walked out along the wooden dock, removing their shoes to dip their feet in the water. Remus pulled his pants up to his legs, kicking around the river water. Logan hesitated.

“You don’t have to.”

Remus looked towards his boyfriend, edging his hand closer so their fingers touched. Logan stared at his bent knees, then pulled his hand away to pull them up as well. It was mostly older scars littering his legs.

“I’ve been doing better. Since I told you.”

Remus’s face immediately brightened. Most of the scars were old now, the worst ones thin strips of pink as he placed his feet in the water. Remus took Logan’s hand again, tracing the lines in his palm.

“Hey.”

Logan looked up at him, almost worried.

“I’m proud of you.”

Logan’s cheeks turned a little pink at the soft expression on Remus’s face, so genuine he could nearly believe it. Maybe he did believe it.

“And Remus?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I think I’m gonna tell her.”

They both paused for a moment, the orange light casting a glow on their faces.

“Maybe not everything, but… I’m at least going to tell her I need therapy. I’ve known I needed help for a long time and it’s… really stupid that I’ve never properly sought it out. Now, I guess… I’m ready to help myself. And that’s partially your doing.”

Remus pulled him close, holding tight to his torso. Was he crying into Logan’s shoulder? They must be happy tears, at least, for the whispered ‘I’m proud of you’s and ‘thank you’s. It was a good feeling, knowing that he’d made Remus proud, happy. It was satisfying, like Remus feeling good that Logan was going to have the chance to get help made some of his… negative feelings fade away.

“You’re really that happy?”

“Logan, you’re- you’re gonna get help, of course I’m happy.”

“If… if it makes you that happy, I’ll keep trying until I’m okay. I’m gonna make sure I’m okay for you. If not for me, for you.”

“You’re gonna be okay.”

“I’m gonna be okay.”

#intrulogical #logan angst #logan sanders #remus sanders #ts logan #ts remus #sanders sides #intrulogical fic #tw self harm #tw food #tw crying #ts fic #sanders sides fic #grays fics #whole

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theunderdogwrites · 4 years

Text

Why I’d Make A Terrible Cult Member

In case you didn’t hear NXIVM founder and Ryan Gosling look-a-like, Keith Raniere,

was sentenced to 120 years in prison after being convicted of sex trafficking, racketeering and conspiracy after testimony that he had created a harem of sexual “slaves,” branded with his initials and kept in line with blackmail. There are currently two docu-series running right now (SEDUCED: INSIDE THE NXIVM CULT and THE VOW) that give you a chilling look into this cult. Both series are palatable and will have you saying – “How the hell did these people get pulled into a cult? Because from my couch I can tell you that would never happen to me!”

There is so much information out there about the NXIVM cult that I don’t feel the need to educate you on all their dastardly deeds. Instead, I want to ramble on about how the majority of us probably feel we could never be drawn in and held captive by a cult. Plus, after that election in the United States we could all use a wee laugh.

First…

The TOP FIVE Reasons WHY I’d Make A Terrible Cult Member

5. Terrible with Crowds

Does anyone really like crowds? Hoards of people gathering is a whole lot of stupid I just don’t want anywhere near me. Cults can’t survive without people. I suppose you could be a cult of one. If that is allowed, I want that. I brain-wash myself on a daily basis as is (‘Today is going to be awesome!’ ‘You absolutely do deserve a donut!’ ‘Drinking wine from a mug is considered sophisticated!’) so I feel I could make this work. Gym clothes are required clothing but will make an exception for all-day PJ’s on the rare Friday when I ‘just can’t even’.

4. Blindly Following Directions is Not My Strongest Quality

I am not a wanton rebel but I do fail (succeed) at being a part of a collective consciousness, especially where one person places themselves in charge of everyone else. While I don’t require for you to have degrees or letters of recommendations from heads of state, I must insist that you’re not a fascistic idiot. Also, you need to be a good person. Not just on the outside where you’re putting on a show for others, but on the inside where it really counts and shines through without you having to promote your intentions. There is just no way I am able to blindly follow directions from a person who I do not respect. And typically, I don’t respect anyone who craves and NEEDS control over a group of people, no matter the size, to make themselves whole. The bottom line here is: if you are this type of person and you attempt to snare me into your cult, I promise you I will be your problem child.

3. Isolation? Yes Please!

Cults wish to isolate you from your family and friends because then it becomes easier to indoctrinate you without any outside voices cluttering up your mind. Instead of isolating me from family and friends (who, I assure you would appreciate the break) it would be much more effective to separate me from my inside voices, of which there are many. Obviously, I am more attached to those voices than my family and friends and I bet my inside voices would eat your inside voices for breakfast, so if your intention is to try and control me you better be prepared for a fight similar to that of the Game of Thrones Battle of the Bastards. But seriously, I’m begging you… please isolate me from my inside voices. I could use some peace and quiet. This is a cry for help people!

2. Refusal to Have My Food Intake Monitored

The NXIVM cult preyed on women by forcing them to go to extreme measures in order to lose weight. They often had to take pictures of their food (counted and weighed on a scale) and ask permission to eat. Right away I’d have a serious problem with this bullshit. If I want a donut. I am going to eat a fucking donut. You want a picture of it? Ok, knock yourself out:

I’m eating this no matter your opinion.

I understand that withholding / limiting food (valuable protein, nutrients etc.) makes it easier to break someone down but just how far gone do you have to be to allow someone else to monitor and approve BY TEXT MESSAGE what you eat? I guess if we want to pull at this thread we can say organizations like WW, Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem “approve of” and even provide you with what they want you to eat in order to be successful if using their programs… and if I wanted to rip into them some more I could claim they are somewhat “cult-like”, but at least they don’t require naked, compromising photos of yourself just in case you fail to lose weight and they want to keep you accountable.

Confession time: when I go to a restaurant with friends and they want to “share” plates, I am not amused. Who the hell came up with this concept of “sharable plates”? If I want to order some crab cakes (usually two to a order) what makes you think I want to give you one in exchange for some of your fries? If I want fries, I will fucking order my own fries. Now that this secret is out… sorry to my friends who have politely forced me to share my food with them.

1. I Can’t Be Any More Brain-Washed Than I Already Am

BRAINWASHING: any method of controlled systematic indoctrination, especially one based on repetition or confusion.

Here’s a thought – we brainwash ourselves.

Well, first it’s our parents. And we don’t have much control over that for a long time. In that mix of original brainwashers is television with it’s cleverly made and repetitive commercials. We are being advertised AT from an early age and it’s a process that continues for our entire life. You don’t watch TV? Doesn’t matter if you own a cell phone or surf the web or have a pair of working eyes. It’s everywhere. You’re being convinced you need stuff. Or persuaded to believe in the magical powers that alcohol will give you (which through experience is NOT charm, grace or coordination). Just last week I realized I’ve been programmed to not give a flying fuck whenever I see a Kardashian. Or Mariah Carey. Or emails from Christian Mingle (please stop contacting me, you really don’t want this).

We brainwash ourselves into believing certain untruths in exchange for temporary happiness. I believe we all fall into this trap. Let’s be real and admit that life is fucking hard. Our collective goal is to be happy and to survive. If you need to convince yourself of some untruths for a short while in order to get through, you go right ahead. Just don’t let the lie take over your reality. It’s destructive. And you’ll miss out on how beautiful life can be if you don’t pull your head out of your own shit.

These two NXIVM documentaries really had me shaking my head in disbelief over just how these seemingly intelligent men and women fell for such a gigantic load of crap. To listen to this Keith Raniere speak and think to yourself “yes, here is a stable human being I want to follow who just happens to talk about how it would feel to rape a baby (it feels like nothing apparently) and requires us to kiss him on the lips when we say hello and goodbye” seriously puts your mental health into question. Am I right? Because I don’t actually know. Am I sitting in judgement of these cult members? Maybe just a little and that is simply because I believe myself to be… not smart, but not a total moron. Now having said that, I know that everyone is searching for spaces where they can belong. Where they feel comfortable enough to be themselves. Spaces that speak to them and people who mirror their desire to be better, do better. Their tribe, if you will.

If you were brand new to this planet and I told you about this activity that millions of people took part in, in some capacity, where they used a curved stick to chase around a hard rubber object on frozen water while wearing steel blades, you might give me a curious, tilted head look. You know, the one you give someone when you’re trying to determine whether or not they’re insane. Sports teams and especially their fans could be considered cult-like. Some people will shell out big $$$$ to attend the Super Bowl dressed head to toe in their team’s colors. Soccer fans in Europe have killed referees over what they felt was a bad call.

Look at this line-up:

This was for the release of the latest iPhone (12). All these people brought together by an inanimate object with the technology to make/receive phone calls, take photos, listen to your conversations and advertise to you across all your social media platforms. Oh, and it can tell you the time.

If you dig far enough into the NXIVM cult (beyond the “ring leaders” who profited financially and at the same time fed their perverted yearning for supremacy over others) you will inevitability come across people who were at their very core – lost. Lost and looking for purpose. Lost and looking for a place where they could belong. Lost and looking for something special. I don’t know about you, but when I am feeling lost and low on hope, I don’t always make the best decisions.

Time to go eat all the donuts.

And if you’re interested in making me a member of your cult, please PM me. I come with impeccable references as long as you don’t believe a word of what they’ll say. I really am a constant fucking delight.

#nxivm #keith raniere #ryan gosling #cults #donuts #iphone #lost #found

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nightowlfandom · 5 years

Text

Kim Namjoon Imagine- Oblivious

REQUESTS ARE TEMPORARILY CLOSED.

OMG AUTHOR-CHAN WHERE DA FUQ YOU BEEN.

Places....my internet decided to die on me and be a bitch soooooooo ya. i how you doin?

Leggo!

...

"I refuse!" you spat, glaring at your father. "You can't make me do anything. I am old enough to make my own decisions!" You were a legal adult, you couldn't be controlled or manipulated into doing anything.

"Y/N this deal was set before you were born." you mother argued. " Plus, he is a very nice young man."

"Okay but what does that have to do with me?!" you stared at your mom. "You two sold out your own daughter! For what? To fuse the family companies together?" you crossed your arms.

"Y/N, please watch your tone." your dad sighed, getting up from his desk. "It isn't like that."

"Then what is? Telling me I can't date who I want. That I'm essentially being subjected to baby maker housewife to some guy who has to be told what he wants?" you rebutted. "That's not fair."

"And you spending so much time with that boy is?!." you mother spat. "Spending a mere second around that delinquent could tarnish your reputation!"

You mother was referring to Namjoon, someone who you've had more than several encounters with. He wasn't like you. Translation he was the embodiment of a stereotypical fanfiction bad boy. (Minus the smoking and motorcycle, he was a car type of guy.) Long story short, you became a little more than friendly and your parents didn't like that, to your delight.

"What you mean the only boy on this planet who cares about what I have to say?!" you spat. "Because you two sure don't seem to enjoy listening to me!"

“That’s enough! Go to you room and get ready!” your mother glared at you, which prompted you to storm off, purposefully knocking a vase over hearing it crash, but not break onto the floor. “

....

The dinner was a complete bust. COMPLETE. You hoped you never had to deal with such a travesty ever again. But these were your parents you were talking about. You’d always be in some stupid situation.

“Hey babe.” fingers snapped in your face and you looked up to see Namjoon smirking at you. “Lost you for a second.”

“Sorry, I was thinking.” You smiled straightening up. “What were you saying?” You were at his house because fuck your parents and them trying to tell you how to spend your free time. Namjoon knew who your parents were and his feelings towards them were less than pleasant.

"Well I wrote a few more verses I want you to look at.." he gave you a notepad. "Before I record them I want your opinion."

"I don't know why you enjoy hearing my opinions. Your lyrics are amazing regardless.” You replied, smiling. “I know nothing about rapping anyways.”

“Is it a crime to want to hear my girl’s opinion?” He asked, making you heat up in embarrassment. He saw you looking down and chuckled, pecking you on the lips.

“S-shush, just give me the notepad.” you pouted, taking the notebook from him. I stared down , my eyes skimming over the page. Namjoon’s lyrics were always good to you, so your opinions were kind of one and the same, not that he minded.

“Well?”

“It’s better than Expensive Girl.” You joked, causing his eye to narrow into a mock glare. “Just saying, ya shoulda kept that one fore a...rainy day.” You kept reading. “Is this about me?” You had noticed keywords that had sort of felt like they described you.

“Yeah, I gotta include my source in inspiration.” he said like it was obvious.

“You’re silly.” you giggled.

“Maybe you don’t like Expensive Girl because you’re just an innocent little girl.” he shrugged,

“I’m not-”

“Yes you are.” he poked your nose.

“Well we can’t have tons of girls all over us just for being good looking.”

“I’m not that type of guy Y/N.” Namjoon frowned a little. When you had first met him, you thought the worst of him, THE VERY WORST.

“I know you aren’t, but they way you talk leads me to believe otherwise.” you nudged him. “And the way you act too, sir.” you poked his nose referring to how he used his charm to sweet talk his way out of every little situation. “Geez you have the mouth of a sailor.”

“Okay I only said ‘If at first you don’t succeed, fix your ponytail then try again’ and it was at my friend’s wedding, so it’s not that bad. “ he laughed.

“I don’t get it?” You tilted your head to the side. Namjoon cocked a brow up at your confused face. “Where did that come from?”

“You don’t get the joke?” he asked. “You’re serious”

“Not really? What does a ponytail have to do with-” you were genuinely confused. Fix your ponytail then try agai-

Before you knew it, he had burst out laughing, holding his stomach.

“YOU ARE SO INNOCENT! Don’t tell me you’ve never had sex either!” he said, still laughing.

“Wait a second! When did this topic even come up?!” You looked up, absolutely mortified.

“Face it baby, you’re so boring, haven’t you ever been wild? And playing tennis with the rich neighbors doesn’t count.” he chuckled.

“I HAVE BEFORE!” You crossed your arms. “A long time ago.”

“A long time ago.” he repeated. “Babe, I’m sorry but you have never had fun a day in your life.”

“I mean I haven’t had time to since my parents are overbearing assholes. You’re the first real guy who has ever....”

(Flashback)...

“You haven’t flipped that page for 30 minutes.” A voice made you look up from your book. A boy with dark hair and clothes to match was smirking at you.

You had known Namjoon from the other side of town. He usually hung out at underground clubs and bars. From what your other friends told you, he was dangerously charming. You never talked to him though.

“Y-you were watching me?” you asked.

“You aren’t that hard to miss.” he chuckled. “You’re the only one dressed so proper here.”

You glanced around. He was right. Everyone else looked so cool and you?...eh

“What are ya doing here anyways?”

You were hiding from your parents who had wanted you to meet some other wealthy weirdos. Anything for status and new friends. “You’d think my reason was stupid.”

“Ha. Try me.”

“...Trying to live without my parents breathing down my neck.” I put my book down on the table.

“Hm. You’re parents some kind of-”

“Business people.” you cut him off. “Even being seen here might freak them out and then I’d get a lecture about status and upbringing.” You replied.

“Sounds tough...but that doesn’t explain why you’ve been reading off the same page for the past thirty minutes.”

“...Have you been watching me?”

“....Good point, I’m Namjoon.”

“Y/N”

(End Flashback)

That was a long time ago, and after weeks and weeks of trying to convince you, you finally went out on a date with him (which involved you having to sneak out) but still.

“I didn’t really have a life before you, y’know.” You mused, smiling a little. “Sure you got me into some things that made me wanna kill you, but...”

“But I was too handsome to say no to?” He joked, which made you smack him with his own notepad.

“No!” you rolled your eyes. “Ah you ruined the moment you jerk!” you crossed your arms.

“Oh come here.” Namjoon throw his arms around you, pulling you close. “ I’m glad I met you.” Namjoon finally said. “At first I thought you were a stick in the mud but-”

“Yeah yeah.” you mumbled. You knew where this speech was going. “But you grew to love it.” you thought he was gonna say.

“Actually I was gonna say that you actually ended up being the only girl who stayed with me, who liked me for who I was and stuck around long enough for me to show you who Kim Namjoon was...even if I got you into a bit of trouble.” he chuckled. “I love you Y/N. Not just that dumb ass I like you and you like me shit either. I love you so much that I would do everything for you, and if I couldn’t I would make it happen. I want to take care of you and give you everything you want in life...”

You looked up in shock, Namjoon had told you he loved you before but he never said it that way. Before you knew it, that same smirk returned to his face. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Ugh you really know how to ruin the moment.” you poked his cheek.

“and you love it.” he winked, crawling over to you.

“Yeah you’re lucky I do.” you mumbled. “Otherwise we woulda had some problems buddy.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes at you and kissed your lips again, gently caressing your cheek. You moved to sit on Namjoon’s on lap like he loved. You wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling his body heat against your skin. You felt his hands slip under your shirt. The feeling of his warm fingers made you jump. This made Namjoon’s movements cease.

“We don’t have do continue if you don’t want to.” he breathed heavily. “I’m sorry, I got carried away-”

“N-no,,,I want to.” you stammered. “You can keep going.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “If you say that to me, then I won’t be able to hold myself back.” he said, digging his head into your neck. “You know that, Y/N.”

“I’m sure...you can keep going..”

You were suddenly pinned down to the bed by Namjoon.

...

“FUCK” he grunted, his body rolled against yours. “Shhh, not so loud baby.” he chuckled. “Wouldn’t want to wake my neighbors.”

“N-namjoon...I’m...I’m gonna-”

“Not yet, wait for me. Please...” He brushed stray, sticky hairs from your face. “You look so cute,”

He sloppily crashed his mouth over yours, his member twitching inside of you.

“Baby, cum for me.” he whispered. Your arms had somewhat tightened around his neck, feeling him twitch even more.

It felt like things came crashing down on you as your orgasm shook and vibrated throughout your entire body.

"Run away with me." he breathed out, coming down from his high.

"What??" you looked up at him wide eyed. "Did you just ask me to-"

"Run away with me." he repeated, his breath evening out. "Come be with me...don't worry about this...this life, your family. Y/N...I love you."

You sat up in bed, looking down at him. "Namjoon-..I-"

"I want you to be happy, to be able to do what you want, when you want. I want to wake up to your face every day. I want to make you happy, I want to help you live your dreams and...not worry about being told what the fuck to do anymore."

He sat up as well.

"Yes." you cut him off. "Yes I'll run away with you."

“Yeah? For real?”

You could only nod as you felt your mouth be covered by Namjoon’s again.

“Fuck I love you so much.”

...

You could shove almost everything you owned into one large duffel bag despite the complaints of your mother.

“So you’re going to live with that gutter trash of a boy!” you mother stood by the door frame with a glare on her face. “Think of what this could do to our family’s reputation?!”

“Like basically selling your own daughter to some loser isn’t tarnishing enough!”?!?!” you scoffed. “I’m an adult, and I don’t need this, and I sure as hell don’t need you two!”

You had made sure to pack everything you had bought with your own money. Knowing them, they’d try to make you leave behind the little shit they bought you.

“Young Lady you are not to go anywhere near that boy and that is final! I’ll take away your allowance!” your father snapped.

“Go ahead, i know you and mom like to take from my bank account anyways to buy shit you don’t need.” you rolled your eyes. “Like that five hundred you guys used to buy a new vase when I needed it for my hospital bill when I broke my ankle?” you said flatly. Thank god you had your own account no one else knew about or else you’d be screwed.

“What about your marriage!”

“Call one of my cousins I’m sure they’d love to take my spot.” you began dragging the three duffels you owned. You didn’t have anything of value from your parents, anything actually useful like your laptop and other things were all purchased by other people. Just as you got to the front door, you saw Namjoon standing in front of a van.

“I bought some friends by to help.” he motioned to his friends who were getting out the car. Hoseok, Yoongi, Seokjin, and Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook.

“How did you guys all fit in that car?” you asked curiously!

“We took two cars!” Jungkook replied. “So are these the parents?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Yep.” Namjoon scoffed. He grabbed two of the bags out of your hands. “I’ll take that.” He threw them in the back seat onto the car floor.

“If you leave with those delinquents, you are no longer part of this family!” your father threatened. “You will be outcast and everyone will know it!”

“...I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.” you replied. “Now are you guys gonna let me go or-”

Your father sudden took a walking start for you, as if he was about to grab you and drag you back inside.

“GET BACK!” Hoseok stomped menacingly to your parents who jumped in fear. “I’ll take that, Y/N.” Hoseok grabbed your last duffel as Namjoon wrapped an arm around you.

“You don’t want to try that again, I wouldn’t want your driveway to be covered in blood.” Yoongi threatened. Unlike Hoseok, Yoongi wasn’t hesitant about getting in your father’s face. Before anyone could say anything else, a black car pulled up. A man in a tuxedo got out, a cellphones practically glued to his ear.

“Whose that?”

“Ah Chairman!” you heard your father bark, sending a snide smirk your at. The stranger took the sunglasses off his face. You recognized him as some big shot CEO that your father loved to suck up to. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here on business. What do you want?”

“Well I’m afraid I’m no longer in need for that favor I asked of you. It appears that my daughter is NOT the one for the job to be your intern.” you heard him say. So to add to the hatred of your parents, he was now..taking away job opportunities?

Well, you would have cared more if you knew who he was.

“And who is your daughter, and most importantly why should I ca-” his eyes fell on you. “...You must be Y/N!”

But apparently he knew you.

“Namjoon my boy!” your boyfriend walked up to the man giving him one of those dude-hugs. “This must be the girlfriend you were telling me about?”

“You know him?” I asked in surprised.

“You know him!?!?” Your father asked just as appalled mixed with disgust.

“Of course, this is my favorite nephew!” the man laughed, his now serious demeanor turning friendly. “Ah, I’ve heard so much about you, Y/N. Namjoon here tells me nothing but good things.”

Your family look just as surprised as you. Namjoon returned to your side.

“Y/N, uncle here works for (Insert dream job company here). I emailed him your resume and he’s been waiting to meet you for a while!”

“So this is your family?” he nodded his head towards your mother and father.

‘Not anymore, i’ve been outcast.” I shrugged.

“Well that’s too bad.” he shook his head holding out a business card. “Now, if you’re as talented as Namjoon says, then your father setting you up as an intern is just insulting. I’m actually looking for a new vice president.” he got a car out his back pocket. “Give me a call.”

You wordlessly took the card. “T-thank you!”

“And if you ever need anything, you just call me. Anything for t elove of my nephew’s life!”

He put his shades on and turned away. “You’re fired.” he snapped at your father as he walked away.

“You ready to go?” Namjoon asked, gently grabbing your hand. You nodded, letting him lead you to his car.

“I call front seat!” you hopped in the car before Hoseok could even reach it.

You didn’t even look back at your parent as you all laughed at Hoseok’s sulking and mumbling “Geez, she’ll fit right in.”

(So did I make myself cry writing this, maybe. But that’s my business.)

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dvp95 · 4 years

Text

quiet on widow’s peak (10)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 2.8k (this chapter), 32.4k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

They try everything. Sophie handles the cameras and phones while Phil and Chris spend way too long cleaning up files on their laptops and doing what they can to get any clear images out of the mess. It's no use. By the time PJ returns from driving Dan home, all they've accomplished is figuring out that the corruption is on their devices, not on the exported files. No matter what they do, the videos and pictures they took have the effect of being scrambled, like someone has pressed fast forward and also put a noise filter over them. The sound is no better - there's a high-pitched sort of ringing in all of the video and audio recordings that Phil can't understand the source of. Some files won't open altogether.

"How does this even happen?" Sophie mutters, bent over Chris' phone with a furrowed brow. "There's nothing left. Like, at all."

"We still have footage from the first night," says Phil. He's trying his very best to stay positive, but this is unbelievably frustrating. They experienced something last night, even if they can't agree on what it was, and they're supposed to start driving back to Brighton before it gets too dark. They don't have time for this. "With the shadow, you know."

His friends make grunts of irritated agreement. Phil knows that all of them are disappointed and a little angry about the lack of evidence for their hellish night, almost like they went through it for nothing, but he doesn't have anything comforting to say.

Phil has never been very good at comfort. He's good at distracting people and forcing optimism, but seeing such visceral emotions from his usually mild housemates makes him want to retreat into himself. He takes his glasses off to rub at his eyes, fighting off a budding headache.

"That's not really enough for a video, though, is it," says PJ. "I mean, you're not going to convince anyone with just a shadow."

"Well, we can't stay to try and get more," Chris says with a little huff.

"I can," Phil points out. He doesn't think he wants to, really, because this whole situation skeeves him out and going back alone would not help, but he needs there to be a purpose to his friends' suffering or he'll never forgive himself. He stares at his unfocused laptop screen, full of files that don't work, and wonders if they're going to bother to try and stop him. "I mean, you guys all have work tomorrow. I don't have anywhere to be. And I kind of want to see this through, so I can, like… take the train home when it's done."

There's a moment of quiet. Phil feels his shoulders tense at the possibility that he's going to have to argue his way into this. It's his job. Plus, he already knows his parents are going to have a problem with him staying longer to investigate, and fighting with yet another set of well-meaning people is more than he wants to do.

"Normally I'd be like, whatever," says PJ. "You know what you're doing and you do this sort of shit alone all the time. But, Phil, how the fuck do you think the paralysis will work if you're by yourself?"

"I won't try to sleep there," Phil decides, shoving his glasses back onto his face. "That's the only time it's happened, right? When people are already falling asleep?"

PJ's mouth twists unhappily, but he doesn't protest further. Phil wonders if he's actually won this argument or if PJ is just too tired from bickering with Dan about cryptids, or whatever they talked about on the drive. Thinking about Dan is a distraction, and not exactly a welcome one. Phil doesn't know how he feels - or even if he should be feeling anything at all - and he doesn't want to add that crisis on top of the one he's already dealing with.

"So you're just going to go there," says Chris. "Alone. And then poke around and go home?"

"That's what I do in most haunts."

"Fair play. Carry on."

It's almost funny how quickly PJ's expression nosedives into aghast. "What? That's it? You're not putting up more of a fight?"

"Why bother?" Chris asks with a little shrug. "He's a stubborn bellend."

"Hey," Phil half-heartedly protests. His friends don't deign to acknowledge it.

"You should bring a sigil with you," says Sophie. Her voice is soft and tired, but her eyes are kind in a way that PJ and Chris don't bother to be. "Why don't you bring something down that you'd have on you, and we'll all put something on it?"

"Really?" Chris asks. It's impossible to tell what he's thinking. Phil doesn't know if he thinks the idea is good or stupid, but he nods after Sophie does. "Alright, we can do that."

PJ is looking off into the distance while cogs seem to turn in his head. "Something you'll have physically on you, Philly, since we can't put it on your skin itself. Let us draw on your glasses or jacket or -"

"Knickers," Chris chimes in.

"Or your knickers," PJ agrees, far more solemnly than Phil thinks is necessary.

It doesn't seem like it'll actually help, but Phil feels so much affection and gratitude for his friends wanting to protect him in any way they can that he doesn't argue.

Phil doesn't really like the idea of going to the Wilkins place alone, either, but he's a lot more comfortable doing that than dragging his innocent friends along for the awful ride again. He thinks about Sophie's kind eyes staring up at the ceiling blankly, the way PJ gasped when he woke up, Chris trying to hide his own concern about the situation, and he feels his resolve stiffen even more.

Maybe he is a stubborn bellend. This is his responsibility, though. It's not right for him to keep asking for help. Phil lets the conversation flow to what snacks they're going to get for the drive and thinks about how he's going to break the situation to his parents.

It doesn't feel as satisfying to shut the door of his childhood bedroom, now. Maybe it's the fact that he's too mature to slam it, or maybe it's that the room itself isn't the haven it used to be. All the neutral colours and boring pieces of art are like a constant visual reminder that his life isn't here anymore.

He doesn't want it to be here. That isn't the problem. It feels stupid if he thinks about it for too long, but he grew up in this house. He's got scars from the sharp corners of the old furniture and more memories than he has in any other singular location. Sure, it makes sense that his parents are retiring and want to downsize from a big, empty house, but Phil really isn't comfortable with this level of change. He kind of assumed he'd always be able to come visit and feel at home again.

Phil sinks onto the mattress. For a long moment, he seriously considers going to sleep. It's barely past seven, but he didn't sleep well this morning. At least if he's unconscious he doesn't need to deal with the crushing weight of his parents' disappointment and worry.

The decision is made for him when his phone buzzes with a notification from Tumblr.

tell ur parents thanks for letting me stay and tell pj thanks for bringing me home and tell urself thanks for the uhhhh experience lmao its deffo not one im gonna forget anytime soon

Phil huffs a laugh and gets comfortable. You're very welcome. I'll tell them when I come out of hiding.

arent you in a very small car on your way to brighton mate… how tf do you manage to hide in there when youre huge

Oh I'm not in the car, I'm still at my parents' place. It's a long story and I hate typing a bunch on my phone. Phil grimaces at himself for the way that sounds, like he's cutting off any questions Dan might have before they ask. He sends another message. Voice call me on Skype or something if you wanna hear about my no good, very bad day.

He doesn't expect Dan to actually call him, let alone immediately, but Phil's phone starts buzzing with a Skype call before he's collected himself enough to find his headphones. He's still detangling while he answers with a sheepish, "Oh, hello!"

"Hi," says Dan. Their voice is low and amused, and Phil can't believe how nice it is to hear after only a handful of hours.

"I'm woefully unprepared, as per usual," Phil rambles, finally getting his headphones in and grinning at the bland wall in front of him. Nobody is here to judge him for it. "You, er, got home alright?"

"Obviously yes," says Dan. "So, you had a bad day?"

"'Cause you had a bad day," Phil sings back to them. The sound of Dan's giggle makes any embarrassment worth it, he thinks. "Yeah, uh, it was rough. So we wanted to look over the footage from last night to see what the camera caught, y'know, but… I don't know how, I don't have an explanation for it, but everything is corrupted. Our audio, our video, our photos. They're all beyond repair."

There's a few moments of silence, where Phil would think Skype had frozen if he couldn't still hear the faint music on Dan's end. Then, "What? You - what? We don't have anything?"

Phil likes the sound of 'we'. He probably shouldn't.

"We tried everything," Phil explains, his heart feeling heavy all over again at the reminder that they spent hours terrified for nothing. "But the corruption isn't even in the exported files, it's on our devices themselves. Chris' phone, our cameras… they're all fucked."

"If you're swearing, it must be fucking serious," says Dan. Phil wants to interrupt then, explain that his policy on bleeping out curses is more about staying monetized and keeping his parents happy than any personal morals, but Dan has already shot past the topic at the speed of light. "So basically we've got no proof we were ever there, let alone that something weird happened - which I'm not saying is some kind of fucking paranormal shit, by the way, but it was weird - and now you've got nothing to make a video with and I never should have told you about this place to begin with?"

"Dan, breathe." Phil waits until he's sure that Dan is at least trying to follow the directive. "It's okay. I'm glad you brought me here. And that's why I'm still in town - I'm going to get more footage."

"Not alone, you're not," Dan says fiercely.

"Peej and the other Scoobs already went home. I just didn't go with them."

"I don't care where your friends are," says Dan. Phil can almost see their hand waving dismissively. "You're not going back there alone. End of story."

The clear insistence in Dan's voice should be getting Phil's back up against the wall. He hates being told what to do with his own projects, needs to be in complete control whenever possible. Instead, he finds himself thinking that it's sweet of Dan to worry like that.

Christ, but he's got it bad.

"I'm still in town either way," Phil says, picking at a loose thread in his sleeve absent-mindedly. "Which my parents are, uh, not thrilled about."

"Really?" Dan sounds genuinely surprised. "They seem like they really love you, mate."

Love has never been the issue. That feels strange to think, cocky almost, but Phil has never really worried that his parents won't love him. Even with the secrets he keeps from them and their fears about the way he lives his life, the worst he's ever expected is disappointment. That just isn't the way their relationship works.

"Oh, they do," says Phil. "But they hate my job, and they think that it's stupid of me to keep investigating a place that clearly doesn't want to be investigated. They believe in ghosts and demons and all that jazz, y'know, they think I'm inviting evil into my life, so they said they'd let me stay here while I work but that we're going to have a 'serious discussion' about my life trajectory when I'm done."

"Ouch. I'd hate that conversation."

"Trust me, it's going to suck. I just got the preview today, and I already know I'm going to want to run away to Iceland."

There's a beat. Then, Dan says, "At least when you're there you can look into the hidden people. You know, the Icelandic elves or whatever that live in a parallel world. That seems up your alley."

"Your mum lives in a parallel world," Phil mutters.

Dan giggles. The sound of it is soft, like they're aware of their own volume, and Phil remembers that Dan lives in some kind of housing with a bunch of other students. He still loves the sound, so much so that he drifts into a nonsensical daydream of making Dan laugh as much as possible and almost misses Dan's voice coming through his headphones again.

"Since you're still in town," Dan is saying, and Phil makes a conscious effort to tune back in, "you should come by the shop tomorrow. I have an early class, but I'm starting work at eleven."

The prospect of seeing Dan again is such a good one that Phil doesn't even hesitate before he's agreeing. It'll be a bit of an effort to get out of bed early enough to avoid his parents and catch Dan for a good amount of time, but Phil feels like it's definitely going to be worth it. He likes Dan, likes being around them if absolutely nothing else, and the ill-advised butterflies in his stomach aren't enough to make him fall on the side of finding this a bad idea.

It isn't until after he's hung up and getting himself a sandwich so he doesn't have to eat an awkward dinner with his parents that Phil realises he's going to have Dan all to himself tomorrow. Well, to himself and to whatever patrons come into the coffee shop. The force of those warm eyes, just focused on him… it's going to test Phil in a way he's not sure he's ready for.

He turns away from the fridge and almost jumps out of his skin.

"Mum," he complains, free hand clutched to his chest. "Don't just stand there, you scared me!"

A smile tugs at Kath's lips, but her arms are crossed and her eyes are staring into Phil's very soul. He feels cornered all of a sudden, like he ought to be clawing for escape.

"Philip," she says, all warmth. There's that slight edge that he remembers so clearly from mishaps as a child, but for the most part it seems like she isn't here to lecture him. He imagines that's going to come from both of them. "This thing that you insist on doing… it's dangerous. You must know that, love."

Phil doesn't actually know that. For the most part, his career hasn't given him anything but boredom and a complex about his own creativity. It's just the odd cases, the ones like the Wilkins house, that get him squirrelly.

"I know, mum," he says anyway. It isn't worth the argument. "But this is my job."

"It doesn't need to be," she presses, and Phil realises that his assumption was very, very wrong. They're going to divide and conquer. She continues like she hasn't noticed the way his whole body is tensing up. "You have such a wonderful mind and loads of ambition, my dear. And that imagination! Gosh, you could do anything that you set your mind to."

Anything he set his mind to - if he actually tried. Phil can hear the words that she isn't saying, that his dad will have no trouble voicing later, and he feels the familiar burn in his throat like he's going to start crying.

He won't. He doesn't cry much, as a rule, but he's well-acquainted with the sensation of holding it back.

"I know that I can," says Phil quietly. He looks down at his sandwich. He isn't very hungry anymore. "Mum, I'm not - I don't do this because I - you know, I like my job."

That's not exactly the truth anymore, but Phil is also well-acquainted with the art of lying to his mother. She doesn't need to know about the doubts that plague Phil, the way that he's felt like he's slogging through videos until they catch his interest properly. That's something he can figure out on his own. He forces his eyes back up at her to drive the point home with a sincere, pleading sort of look.

Her mouth twists, unhappily this time.

"You need to grow up sometime, Phil," she says, so soft that it almost cushions the devastating blow of her words.

Almost.

#quiet on widow's peak #words words words

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write-havoc · 5 years

Text

The Glasswing Butterfly Part 18

Summary: Chuck has never thought of herself as anything special. Just an average beta living her life next door to a womanizing alpha named Negan. But her life, and Negan’s too, are turned upside down when Chuck suddenly presents as omega.

This is a non-zombie AU featuring A/B/O dynamics.

Fandom: The Walking Dead AU

Pairing: Negan/Original Female Character

Status: Ongoing

Contains: swearing, smut

Intended for readers 18+ of age only

Masterlist in my bio

“Have you thought about what we wanna do for the wedding?” Chuck asks Negan the next morning as they sit at the dining room table eating their breakfast. Chuck has her bowl of Cocoa Puffs and Negan has just finished his eggs and bacon. “My mom is getting impatient,” she explains.

Negan chuckles as he looks up from the newspaper in his hands. “I haven’t really. I thought I’d leave that shit for you to do.”

She lets out a little huff. “Gee, thanks.”

“Well, I didn’t wanna be in the fuckin’ way. It’s usually the woman that wants everything just perfect.”

“Not this woman. I’m fine with something simple, like just having it in the back yard. But when I told my mom that, she tried to convince me to do the whole church thing.”

He takes a sip of his coffee as he thinks that over. “I like the idea of doing shit here. I did the fuckin’ church thing with Lucille and I fuckin’ hated it. All pomp and circumstance. Her parents even insisted on the traditional mating ceremony, which is long and fuckin’ boring. I didn’t enjoy one minute of that shit.”

“I don’t want all that. I just want a simple thing with us and our family.”

“Fine by me. Besides,” he gives her a smirk, “the less money we spend on the wedding, the more money we can spend on the honeymoon.”

At that, she takes in a sharp excited breath. “Ooo. Honeymoon,” she draws out. “Let’s get mom to plan our wedding so we can plan the fun stuff.”

“You know it won’t be simple if we give her full reign.”

“You’re right. We’ll have to supervise, set out some parameters. But I definitely want to get our honeymoon sorted really quickly.”

“What are you thinkin’?”

She only mulls it over for a moment before she blurts out, “Hawaii!”

“Hawaii?” he repeats, not quite as enthusiastic as she was.

“Yeah, Hawaii. I’ve never been to any place tropical.” She continues to look at him, searching his face for his true thoughts. “You don’t like the idea?”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “Lounging on the beach sounds fuckin’ nice. Especially if you’re there in a skimpy ass bikini.”

She laughs. “I’ve never worn a skimpy bikini in my life.”

“There’s always time to start,” he quips with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Then you have to wear one of those Italian model speedos.”

He laughs out loud with his head thrown back. “I don’t think so.”

She shrugs a shoulder. “It’s only fair.”

He lets out a final chuckle before getting the subject back on track. “So when are we planning on doing this?”

“When do you want?”

He thinks a moment. “Sometime before the school year starts probably. Since I won’t be fuckin’ working yet. And summer will be nice weather.”

“I think I should be able to take some time off, too.”

“Sounds fuckin’ good to me.”

After a little bit more discussion, they decide on June 15 for the wedding. The honeymoon would come right after, of course. Chuck calls her mother as soon as they have the date set in stone and tells her about what she and Negan discussed. Even though Diane would rather have a more traditional wedding for her daughter in their neighborhood church, she’s still excited to go through with what Chuck and Negan want. She’s also glad that they are including her on the planning, even if they’ve specifically told her to keep things simple (and put her on a strict budget).

That night while Chuck and Negan are getting into bed, he pulls her into his chest and lets out a content sigh. “Mr. And Mrs. Negan,” he says softly, thinking about all they’ve discussed today. “I fuckin’ like the sound of that. All this wedding talk has me excited about this marriage shit.”

Chuck’s eyes go wide, then she lifts herself up to look at Negan. “Yeah... I’m excited, too. But... I, uh, was actually thinking about keeping my name, though,” she admits hesitantly.

“What?” He moves to sit up quickly, his brows furrowed in a mixture of anger and confusion. “You don’t wanna take my name?”

She straightens herself up beside him to answer. “I just... I like my name,” she says as gently as she can, since it seems like Negan isn’t very happy with this development. “And my dad was an only child. I’m the only Langdon left,” she adds.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me, Chuck?” he bites back.

She’s taken aback by his strong reaction. “Are you really that upset about it?”

He scoffs. “You think I wouldn’t be?!”

“You always said you hated your father. I didn’t think you’d really care much about passing on his name.”

“Negan was not my father’s name,” he explains with some venom in his voice. “Negan is my name. That’s the name I chose and now my mate is saying she doesn’t want it!”

Now Chuck feels a little bad. She didn’t know any of that. “I’m sorry. You never mentioned your father’s name. Or that you changed yours.”

“Well, I didn’t think it was fuckin’ important,” he spits out.

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

He throws his arms up in frustration. “What the fuck did you expect?”

“I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal!”

“Not a big deal? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? How the fuck are you still this goddamn clueless about all this shit? You’re not a stupid fuckin’ beta, Chuck. You’re an omega. My omega. And I’m the alpha. It’s time you started to fuckin’ act like it.”

She’s shocked, not only by his words, but the harsh tone he uses to spit them out. Tears start to well up in her eyes as she struggles to respond to him. Negan can see how upset she’s getting, but before he can try to fix it, she jumps out of bed and rushes out of the room.

“Chuck, wait!” he calls out, but is only met by hurried footsteps down the hall and the guest bedroom door slamming shut. “Shit,” he mutters, sobering some at her reaction. Even through is anger, he knows he’s messed up. And upsetting Chuck is the last thing he wants to do.

Once Chuck gets into the guest room, she whips back the covers on the bed and gets into it, angrily pulling the comforter up under her chin, as if she could just go to sleep after what just happened. But she’s too angry and upset about the situation, both with herself for misjudging what Negan’s reaction would be and with him for being so harsh with her.

Just a moment later, Negan’s soft voice calls out from the other side of the door, much calmer than it had been just a minute ago. “Can I come in?” he asks, not even trying the handle to see if it was locked. He figures barging in without permission wouldn’t garner him any favors at this point.

She sniffles and sits up, giving it serious thought to deny him. “Yeah,” she finally croaks as she wipes the tears from her eyes and moves to lean back on the headboard.

He walks in slowly and stops right beside the bed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have said what I fuckin’ did.”

Chuck just nods, unsure of what to say.

“You just need to understand-” he sits down on the edge of the bed to face her. “My alpha took over. All he heard was that his mate wanted nothing to do with him.”

She shakes her head. “That’s not what I meant at all.”

“I know it isn’t, but...” He lets out a heavy breath. “Please take my name, Chuck,” he says softly, almost begging. “It would be like I failed as a fuckin’ alpha if you didn’t.”

“Failed at what?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. Keeping you, I guess.”

“ Keeping me?” she questions.

“I know that sounds fuckin’ bad, but...” he rubs his his hand down his chin. “That’s the alpha instincts in me. Every time I see my mark on your neck, it makes me feel like I won the goddamn lottery. And hearing you say, ‘I’m Mrs. Negan’ will do the same fuckin’ thing. Make me feel like I’m the luckiest fuck in the world, like I’m the best fuckin’ alpha cuz I got the most beautiful, amazing omega at my side.”

Chuck’s known that Negan has a possessive streak, just like almost every other alpha, but she’s never really thought about how ingrained that is in his personality. It’s not just possessiveness, it’s tied into his sense of self worth as an alpha.

And in a way he was right about her being clueless. She has become more comfortable with herself as an omega, but she hasn’t really been too open to learning about the alpha world. She realizes that should probably change if she wants to be able to understand Negan better.

Since it means so much to him, she makes the decision to take his name, though she really doesn’t want to drop her own family name completely. “Can we compromise?” she asks hesitantly.

“Compromise how?”

“I take your name, be Mrs. Negan, but I keep mine, too. Charlotte Josephine Langdon Negan.”

“What would our kids’ names be?”

“Negan. But they would have Langdon as like a middle name. If that makes sense.”

He thinks a second. “Yeah, I’m okay with that.” He leans in to give her a kiss. “I’m really sorry for being a dick,” he says without pulling back much from her. “I fuckin’ hate to see you upset.”

“I’m sorry for not thinking about how you would feel about it. I guess I should be more considerate.”

“It’s alright.” He kisses her again. “Can we go back to our room, now? I fuckin’ hate the guest room.”

She giggles a little. “Yeah.”

Negan’s ping pong table arrives a few days later and the newly formed Alexandria High School Table Tennis Club is set to hold their first meeting. There are only six of them, all the students that had told Negan about the ping pong table in the first place plus one extra girl. So maybe people weren’t clambering to get their names on the sign up sheets like Negan had hoped, but at least there’s more than a few kids here. And it’s an even number, so there’s that.

Carl and his two friends live close by in the neighborhood, so Negan offers to drive the three boys home from school. There isn’t enough room for the three girls, too, but fortunately, one of them has a car and offers to drive the others. Once they all get to Negan’s house, he parks his car in the driveway and invites the kids inside.

As soon as the front door opens, Chuck stands from her seat on the couch to meet Negan at the door.

“Hey, baby,” he greets her with a quick kiss then gestures for the kids to enter. “Come on in.” Once they all pile in, Negan closes the door behind them. “This is Chuck, my mate,” he throws out casually as he moves across the room to the door leading to the garage. “I’m just gonna move my girl’s car to give us more fuckin’ room out there,” he throws back to the students.

With Negan now out of the room, Chuck feels a need to fill the awkward silence. “Hello,” she greets the students herself.

The kids, with the exception of Carl, just stare at her without moving, unsure of what to say. It’s awkward being in a teacher’s home to begin with, but now they’re in a mated pair’s home, which is a first for all of them.

“Hey, Chuck,” Carl says back, breaking the tension.

She gives him a warm smile, thankful to have some of the pressure off of her. “How’s your dad and Michonne?”

“They’re good,” he answers, then looks around at his classmates. “This is,” he starts to point the kids out, since they aren’t taking the initiative to introduce themselves, “Isaac, Luisa, Renee, Oliver, and Tatiana.”

“It’s very nice to meet you all.” Chuck clears her throat nervously and gestures back to the kitchen. “I, uh, I made some rice krispy treats if you guys want a snack.” She hadn’t been sure what to do to be a good host for the students. Providing finger food seemed to be like a good bet. And rice krispy treats are something she can actually make. “I have chips, too,” she adds.

That was apparently the right thing to say because the kids push their way into the kitchen and lay into the spread of snacks that Chuck had laid out for them. With the junk food loosening them up, they actually start to talk.

“How old are you?” Oliver asks Chuck suddenly as he stuffs his mouth with chips.

The girl closest to him, Renee, smacks him on the arm. “You don’t ask a woman her age.”

“What?!” he bites back, then swallows his mouthful. “She’s a lot younger than Negan.”

Chuck laughs at the exchange. “I’m twenty six.”

Isaac looks up, his curiosity piqued. “How old is Negan, then, exactly?”

Before she can answer, the man himself steps into the kitchen. “Don’t you fuckin’ answer that.” He reaches over everyone to steal a chip from the bowl on the counter.

Chuck giggles at his reaction. “You don’t want them to know that you’re twenty nine?” she jokes.

Carl jumps right in, not believing Chuck’s quip. “He’s not twenty nine . He’s my dad’s age. At least.”

“You calling me old, kid?”

Carl just shrugs his shoulder, not backing down. “I’m just sayin’. There’s no way you’re twenty nine.”

“Alright, alright. Smartass.” Negan steals another chip, stuffing it into his mouth casually. “Everyone, thank my beautiful wife for providing this shit.”

There’s an unenthusiastic chorus of “thank you, Mrs. Negan”s from the teens, which makes her chuckle.

“You’re welcome. But ‘Chuck’ is just fine.”

Negan points to the boys then gestures to the snacks. “Carry this shit out to the garage. We got work to do setting shit up.” Once all the kids’ backs are turned to go to the garage, Negan wraps his arms around Chuck and gives her a not-so-innocent kiss. “You gonna watch me kick those kids’ asses?”

She laughs and returns the hug. “I might peek my head in.”

“Alright.” He kisses her again. “Make sure to stare at my ass when you do.”

Chuck has a smile on her face as she watches him leave the room. The smile only gets bigger when she realizes that Negan had called her his wife in front of the kids. It came so easily and seemed so natural that it hadn’t even registered to her.

She giggles to herself and moves to go into the garage, too, taking Negan up on the invitation to see him in his own element instructing the students.

“Happy birthday,” Chuck whispers in Negan’s ear once she feels him finally stir awake days later.

He lets out a soft groan and smiles as he opens his eyes to see Chuck leaning over him. His voice is low and gravelly with sleep as he says, “Whatcha gonna give me?”

She giggles and bends down to give him a quick kiss. “I just said ‘happy birthday.’ Isn’t that enough?” she jokes.

Stretching out a little to wake himself up, he places his hand on her back and gently caresses her. “Bounce on my dick a little bit and we’ll call it even.” He nudges her to shift positions so that she’s straddling him.

She giggles, already figuring that he would request some sort of activity this morning. “Well, guess what?” she draws out playfully, bending her body down so that her face is close to his.

Letting his hands wander up her thighs under her nightgown, he bites his lip at the feeling of her soft skin under his fingertips. “What, dear?”

She moves to place her lips near to his ear and whispers, “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

The words no sooner leave her lips when Negan flips them both over and settles between her legs. She giggles at the impatient motion, but once she sees him pull his already hard flesh from his boxers and position himself, her eyes go wide.

“Negan, what are you doing?” she says as she leans up on her elbows.

He pauses. “I thought we were getting our fuck on.”

“We’re not ready yet. Unless you want me to get pregnant.”

“Shit.” He pauses as he realizes that in his excitement, the thought hadn’t crossed his mind. “I can be careful. I’ll fuckin’ pull out.”

“Are you sure? You can’t knot me then.”

“I got plenty of time tonight to knot you. Besides, you’re not near your fuckin’ heat right now, so even if I did cum in you, I bet we’d be safe.”

That is true, Chuck thinks. Her period is due in just a couple days. Besides, she’s been fantasizing all morning before she woke him, so she’s more than ready to go. And a little impatient herself.

“Well, then. Get on with it,” she says in a breathy whisper as she lays back down.

With a bite of his lip, Negan takes ahold of her waist with one hand and uses his other to guide him into her slowly, making sure that she’s really ready for him. He’s not met with much resistance and when he’s fully sheathed inside her, he lets out soft grunt.

“Shit, you feel so good like this,” he breathes out.

It does feel a little different to Chuck, having his skin in direct contact with her own for the first time. It feels almost like it’s even more of an intimate act. Like being able to feel all of him completely unhindered is how it should be. If only it weren’t for her condition, that’s how it could be from now on. She could take the birth control pills and they could have completely spontaneous sex without having to waste the time in getting ready with an omega condom. Not to mention that Negan wouldn’t have to go through the hassle of picking them up from the pharmacy anymore.

“Chuck?” Negan’s voice draws her out of her thoughts. “You with me?” he asks, having seen the look on her face as if she was miles away.

“Yeah,” she answers.

“If you don’t wanna do this, we can stop.”

“No, no,” she’s quick to reply. “I was just thinking that this feels good,” she fibs, not wanting too tell him the extent of what she really was thinking.

“Really?” he skeptically asks. “You looked completely lost inside your own fuckin’ head.” He bends forward a bit over her to caress your cheek. “If you’re freaked out about raw dogging it, we can slip a condom on.”

When he starts to move away, she grabs his arm to stop him. “No. I want to do this.” To punctuate her point, she starts to move her hips up to meet his, causing him to sink back into her.

“Mmm.” He moves back to sit on his knees so he can get a good look at her. “You’re so fuckin’ beautiful spread out for me.”

As he starts to thrust inside her again, she lets out a little whimper and closes her eyes. “That feels so good.”

He runs his hands up her hips to grasp her waist to give himself more leverage to go faster. “Shit. I love this pussy.”

She giggles, but it quickly turns to a moan as he starts to hit the right spot. “Ah. You’re so good to me.”

“You bet your fuckin’ ass I am.” He moves to lay on top of her, never losing rhythm. “You getting close, baby?” he asks, though he can already feel that she is.

“Keep going,” she gasps. “Don’t stop.”

He chuckles into her neck, right on the spot that holds his mark. “I wouldn’t fuckin’ dream of it.”

With her orgasm quickly approaching, she grabs onto the hair at the back of his head as she meets his thrusts. “Oh, god!”

“That’s it.” He moves his mouth close to her ear and growls, “Cum for daddy.”

That hurdles her over the edge, sending her into a powerful orgasm. Through the lustful haze, Chuck calls out, “Knot me, Alpha!” not fully aware of what she’s saying.

That itself nearly sends Negan to his end right then and there, but his rational mind somehow wins out and he manages to pull out to spill onto her stomach.

Once they both come back down and catch their breaths, Chuck sees the mess Negan made on her. “Why didn’t you knot me?”

“Because you told me you didn’t want me to before we started fucking,” he answers from his spot on the bed beside her.

“But I said you could.”

“Yeah. When you were fuckin’ cumming. I know shit gets intense between us and our bodies take over, overriding our fuckin’ brains. I wouldn’t ever want to do something to you and have you regret it when your goddamn senses come back.”

She looks over to him with a lazy smile. “I love you, Negan,” is all she can say in that moment as she thinks about how amazing he really is to her. He’s done so much already, literally saved her life even. Him not going against what they had initially agreed on just shows how much he really cares about her. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

He leans over and kisses her deeply. “I’m the fuckin’ lucky one, baby girl,” he whispers and leans back from her. “And I can’t fuckin’ wait to knot that pussy after our date tonight.

That makes her laugh. “My mate, the romantic.”

“Damn right.” He steps out of the bed and holds his hand out to her. “Let’s jump in the shower then I’ll make you some breakfast.”

She allows him to pull her out of her comfy spot on the bed. “It’s your birthday. I should be cooking for you.”

“You know I like cooking.” He leads her into the bathroom and starts the shower, dialing it in to the right temperature. “Why don’t I take you out on my bike after we eat. It’s supposed to actually be fuckin’ warm today.” He lets her step in first to stand under the water. “And you haven’t gotten to ride on it yet since I fuckin’ finished it.

She turns around, not only to answer him face to face, but to wet her hair under the stream of hot water. “That sounds really nice,” she replies, though she is a little nervous about the motorcycle. She’s only ever ridden on one the one time with Negan. It was really fun, but it’s still a little nerve racking being perched on top of an engine with wheels and no other protection around you besides a helmet.

After their breakfast (which they both actually have a hand in making), they get ready for their ride. The weather is rather mild, perfect for Chuck’s denim jacket over a light hoodie and jeans. Negan, of course, wears the black leather jacket he always does when he takes his bike out, but Chuck isn’t complaining. He always looks really good in it, whether he zips it up fully or leaves it open. And there’s also something about the red scarf he alway wraps around his neck that she really likes, though she’d never actually say that to him.

“Ready to go, baby?” he asks as he hands over her helmet to put on.

“Yup.” Once she puts the helmet on, Negan makes sure it’s buckled right and helps her onto the back of his motorcycle.

After putting on his own helmet, he hops on himself and starts the machine up. “Hold on tight.”

She giggles and cuddles up to his back as she wraps her arms around him. “I’m ready to go when you are.”

Negan kick starts the bike and pulls out of the garage, using his remote to close the door after them. As they travel the roads, Chuck watches the scenery change from the suburbs she’s used to, to places unfamiliar. Negan had specifically told her that he wouldn’t say where they were going, so she knows it’s useless to even ask.

Less than an hour later, the land turns more rural and she notices a big sign off to the right saying “Great Falls Park”. Negan continues on leisurely through the mountain roads until he gets to a small parking lot. Once the bike is stopped, he hops off and helps Chuck to do the same.

“This place is gorgeous,” Chuck comments after they both remove their helmets and hang them on the handles of the bike.

Negan takes her hand and the pair starts to walk the trail. “Rick suggested it.”

“He did?”

“I fuckin’ asked him where a good place to ride a motorcycle is and he said,” he puts on a southern accent, “‘I don’t ride motorcycles.’” He shakes his head with a little laugh. “But he said it was nice as fuck out this way.”

“It was a nice ride getting here anyway.”

“I might take Aaron out here once he gets his fuckin’ bike done. You think he’d like that?”

She laughs. “You trying to get romantic with my uncle?” she jokes.

“I wouldn’t have to try too fuckin’ hard. You know he wants my dick so bad,” he retorts without missing a beat.

“Just because he’s gay, that doesn’t mean he’ll go for just any man,” she says through her giggles.

He gestures to himself. “You don’t think he’d hop on this if I offered?”

“No!” She slaps him on the arm. “You’re not his type! And, oh yeah, you’re my boyfriend. I don’t think he’d be a home wrecker.”

Negan wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in to kiss the top of her head. “I don’t know. Still think I could hit it,” he adds, joking further.

Chuck laughs and playfully smacks his chest. “There’s this guy he’s been talking to, anyway,” she finally comments, moving past Negan’s joke. “Friend of a friend kinda thing. I think he wants to start dating him, but he feels weird about it.”

Negan nods in understanding. “Shit’s weird for a while after you lose a spouse.”

“He says this guy’s nice.” She chuckles a little. “And that everyone calls him Jesus because he... kinda looks like Jesus, I guess.”

“Jesus, huh. That’s fuckin’ funny.”

They continue to follow the signs saying “scenic overlook” for a ways. Once they get to their destination, they’re met with an amazing view of the falls that the area is named for. The water from the Potomac River rushes through the rocky gorge creating a pleasing white noise that fills the area.

“Oh shit,” Negan calls out as he leans on the railing to look at the feature. “Rick was right. This shit’s beautiful.”

Chuck can’t help but giggle at him. “It really is. This reminds me of the first time you took me out on your bike.”

He turns to shoot her a smile. “Oh yeah. I took you out to the fuckin’ boonies.”

“I was so nervous,” she admits through a laugh.

He moves to stand behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. “About being on the bike?”

“A little bit. But I was more nervous about being with you.”

He chuckles a little. “You were nervous about me?”

“Yeah.” She places her hands on his arms around her. “I was nervous about being so close to you.” The realization of how silly that sounds makes her giggle.

“Didja think I was gonna bite?” he jokes.

“More like, I thought you were gonna suddenly realize that you really didn’t want anything to do with me and abandon me somewhere.”

He scoffs. “Like that could ever fuckin’ happen.” He turns to kiss her cheek. “You now you got me wrapped around your fuckin’ finger.”

She laughs. “Well I know that now . I didn’t back then.”

He kisses her again, hoping that she truly knows how special she is to him. “So which ride was better, do you think?”

She thinks about it for a second. “This one,” she answers as she hugs his arms around her a bit more, “because I get cuddles this time.”

He laughs at her answer. What he was really asking was which bike she liked better, hoping she’d praise all the work he’s done on his Harley. But her sweet answer has him squeezing her a little bit tighter and kissing her temple.

“Fuckin’ adorable,” he says almost to himself.

After a few moments of silence, she asks, “Could we keep this up? Like take a ride every Sunday or something?”

“That sounds fuckin’ good to me. I’d love that.”

She turns back to look at him. “I would, too.”

Later on that night, Chuck and Negan get ready to go to dinner for Negan’s birthday. She had made the reservation for them at a highly rated restaurant in D.C. right on the Potomac River, though she hasn’t told Negan where they’re going. They both dress up a little, Negan in dark slacks, white button up, and a blazer, Chuck in a black and white polka dot sundress with a cardigan.

As Chuck finishes putting her hair up as she stands in front of the mirror in their room, Negan walks in. “I’m almost done,” she informs him.

He just watches her for a moment as her delicate fingers pin up her waves away from her face. “When do we gotta leave? If you’d tell me where we’re going, I’d fuckin’ know how long it’d take to get there.”

She shoots him a look. “I told you-“

“I know, I know.” He hold his hands up and walks closer to her. “It’s a surprise.”

With her hair finished, she turns to face him. “I think you’ll really like it. But we should get going now if we wanna beat D.C. traffic.”

“D.C., huh? Want me to drive?”

“No,” she draws out as she moves to pat him on the chest. “You don’t know where we’re going.”

“You could tell me...”

She laughs. “You really hate not being in control, don’t you?”

He just shrugs as she moves past him to leave the bedroom, since she’s not exactly wrong. But he decides not to push it and allows her to drive him north into the city. After they park the car, Chuck leads Negan down a busy boardwalk along the river. With the sun setting, the whole area is bathed in reds and oranges. The last sunbeams of the day bounce across the water making everything look almost surreal.

“Here it is,” Chuck finally points out as they come up to the restaurant. “It had a lot of good reviews. And they have surf and turf, so I thought-“

She doesn’t even get to finish before Negan is calling out, “Shit, I love surf and turf!”

Giggling, she admits, “That’s what I was gonna say. I thought you’d like that.”

Once they get inside and speak to the hostess, they are led to their table on the patio overlooking the water. Overhead string lights above the tables add soft lighting as the sun is almost completely below the horizon. Chuck thinks to herself that the ambiance must be good, since almost every other table is taken. She’s glad that she made the reservation in advance so they didn’t have to wait.

As Negan pulls out the chair for Chuck, she momentarily makes eye contact with the older woman at the table next to them, but her attention is quickly brought back to sitting down in the chair as Negan is waiting for her.

After they get their drink order in (a couple glasses of a nice red wine), Negan gets the chance to look around at the scenery. “Shit, this is nice.”

“It really is.”

“Hope I can afford it,” he jokes.

“I’m paying, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“I’m not gonna make you pay for all this.”

“Well, you’re really hard to shop for, so this is your birthday present from me.”

“You never have to buy me anything, sweetheart. I’m fuckin’ pleased as punch just to have you with me.”

No matter how long they’ve been together, when Negan says things like that, Chuck still blushes hard. Since she’s still a little flustered when the waitress comes over, she just quickly doubles Negan’s order of the surf and turf, though she does request the steak be well done rather than Negan’s medium rare.

Negan shakes his head at her as the waitress walks away from the table to put the order in. “You should try it not burned to fuckin’ death,” he comments with a chuckle.

She gives him a little shrug. “It’s not burned , it’s just cooked.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing.” He takes a gulp of his wine. “Am I driving home?”

“I can drive if you want another glass of wine. You know this’ll be my only one.”

“Sounds good to me.” With another gulp, he practically empties his drink.

As they wait for their meal to arrive, the waitress comes back onto the patio carrying a very fancy looking dessert. She walks over to the older couple sitting at the table beside them and sets it down.

“Happy fortieth anniversary!” the young server calls out cheerfully.

“Oh, Harold!” the woman says to her husband. “Did you tell them to make my favorite?”

Negan and Chuck watch the scene as the long married beta couple enjoy their anniversary dessert, all the while looking lovingly at one another.

“That’s so cute,” Chuck leans in to whisper to Negan. “That’s gonna be us one day.”

“Shit, I’ll be pushing ninety in forty years.”

“How long have you two been married?” the woman from the other table asks them, bringing them both out of their conversation.

Chuck feels a little embarrassed that the couple must have heard her talking about them. “Oh, uh... We’re not married, yet,” she answers.

“I’m sorry,” the woman replies. “I just assumed, since I saw your mark.”

Negan jumps in to explain. He knows that people, especially old fashioned ones, can get judgey real quick when it comes to alphas and omegas. He’s just hoping to cut the conversation short if these two betas are assholes. “The claim came first. The wedding’s in a couple months.”

The man speaks up for the first time. “Our son just got married a few weeks ago. He and his mate decided to have the traditional mating ceremony.”

“It really was beautiful,” his wife comments.

“Your son is an alpha?” Chuck asks, knowing that it’s rare for beta parents to have anything but betas as children. She herself is one of the very rare exceptions.

“We adopted him when he was two,” the woman explains. “Had no idea he would present alpha.”

“Shit,” Negan says with a little chuckle. “I bet that was quite the surprise. Dealing with a newly presented alpha is hard as it is. Throw in that you’re not ready for it...” He lets out a low whistle.

“It was hard, but he’s grown up to be an amazing man,” the woman says, her voice full of pride. “Are you doing the traditional ceremony?”

“We’re just doing something simple at home,” Chuck answers. “We’ve been mated for months now, so... it’s just going to be a family get together, really.”

“That sounds nice,” the woman comments as she spies the waitress coming out with Chuck and Negan’s food. “Good luck. And enjoy your meal.”

“Thank you,” both Chuck and Negan reply.

The couple bids their farewells as Chuck and Negan accept their orders from the server.

“They were really nice,” Chuck says as she starts to dig into her meal. There’s so much food that she knows some of it’s going to be coming home with them. But she’s sure Negan won’t mind the leftovers.

Negan, of course, cleans his plate fairly quickly without much other conversation. Chuck doesn’t mind, though, because it’s obvious he’s enjoying it. And that is the whole reason she wanted to come here.

“That was fuckin’ delicious,” he finally voices his opinion after he wipes his mouth clean. “Thanks for finding this fuckin’ place.”

“You’re welcome. The food is really good. I’m getting full, though.”

Once Chuck finally decides to throw in the towel, the waitress comes back over with a doggy bag. “Anything else tonight?” she asks.

“Just the check,” Negan answers.

The waitress gives him a smile. “That table beside you already took care of it.”

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” Negan responds in his usual way.

The young waitress is taken aback a bit by his language, but answers nonetheless. “They told me to tell you to it was a wedding present.”

Chuck is flabbergasted. “Oh my god. That was so nice of them.”

The waitress just smiles back, saying, “Have a good rest of your night,” before leaving.

Negan scratches the back of his neck. “Shit. Now I really feel like an asshole for thinking that they’d be assholes.”

“You thought they’d be assholes?”

“When they first started talking to us, I thought they’d be like those fuckin’ bigot betas that think we should live like it’s the 1800s. Do everything the traditional way and keep out of beta society.”

“Do you get that a lot?” Chuck has had a few run ins with jerks since she’s presented, but she wouldn’t exactly call it a common occurrence.

He shrugs. “I guess not. Twenty years ago, I definitely did get shit all the time just for being an alpha. Got in my fair share of fistfights with betas with an alpha complex, thinking they could take me on. But I guess shit’s changed now. At least for the most part.”

“That’s a good thing. I’m kinda glad I’m getting to live in a better time for omegas.”

“You and me both.” His face turns from his serious expression to a smirk. “I guess you dodged spending your money,” Negan jokes.

“That means I technically didn’t get you a birthday present,” she comments while scrunching up her face in an apologetic way.

“I think I know how you can fuckin’ make it up to me. With some fucking.” Negan wiggles his eyebrows. “If you get what I’m sayin’.”

Chuck laughs. “You’re so great at subtlety.”

Over the next few weeks, Negan and Chuck try to get ready for their wedding. Negan, of course, excuses himself from most of the planning, even if he tries to make a case that that’s not really what he’s doing.

“If we’re gonna be entertaining, our backyard needs some fuckin’ work,” he explains to Chuck one day. “I’m thinking... I could lay some bricks down and make a nice fuckin’ patio. Put a fire pit in.” He thinks a moment before his face lights up in excitement. “Oh fuck! I can put in a kickass grilling area. Then we can have bbqs and shit!”

“For the wedding,” Chuck comments dryly, bringing his focus back on what it should be on.

“Of course!” he says immediately. “The weather should be fuckin’ nice for the wedding. We can have a cookout for the guests instead of fuckin’ paying a caterer or whatever. We’re not gonna have that many people over anyway. I can grill burgers and shit easy.”

Chuck giggles at his reasoning. “We can do that. Though I have the sneaking suspicion that you just want to use our wedding budget so you can get a new grill.”

He just shrugs, not trying to fight her. “But it would be for the fuckin’ wedding. Technically.”

She laughs. “Okay. You can have your patio.”

“Fuck yes!”

As Negan spends his time doing that, Diane takes the reins on figuring out how they are going to decorate the back yard. Since they’re on a budget, she decides to make most of the decorations themselves. Crepe paper flowers, diy chair covers for the cheap folding chairs they have, goodwill candle holders, nothing too fancy. But Chuck thinks it’s all perfect. She doesn’t want her wedding to be about the ceremony; it’s about her and Negan along with their extended family.

One thing they don’t really have to worry about is who they’re going to get to officiate. Since it’s not really a religious ceremony, they don’t need to worry about getting a pastor or priest to marry them. And since they’re already mated in the eyes of the law, they don’t need any paperwork or anything. Their wedding is more like a celebration of their coming together, so Aaron says he will be the one to say a few words and lead the wedding.

Once it comes time to pick out the wedding dress, Diane takes Chuck to a small, secondhand dress shop in D.C. Chuck already knows that she wants something simple, not to mention, something that she won’t have to make payments on for several years.

“What about this one?” Diane says as she holds up a floor length monstrosity straight from the eighties, big puffy sleeves and all.

“Oh my god, Mom. That’s horrible.”

Diane laughs. “It’s not that bad.”

Chuck takes the garment from her and puts it back on the rack to punctuate her point. “It’s the worst.”

“Well, what are you looking for, then?” Diane asks as she continues to peruse the dresses.

“I don’t know. Maybe something with lace. I don’t really want that shiny material. It doesn’t even need to be like a wedding wedding dress. You know? Any white-ish dress could work.”

“Why don’t we just pick a bunch out and you can try them on. Maybe if you see them on you, we’ll find the one you want.”

With that suggestion, Chuck starts picking out any dress that even remotely catches her eye. Diane does, too. With their mountain of dresses, Chuck heads off to the dressing room to see if any of them stand out. Ten dresses in, Chuck still hasn’t found it.

“I liked that second one,” Diane comments once she sees the frustration on her daughter’s face.

“I don’t know,” Chuck says, dejected. “It was alright.” She happens to look off to her right to see one of the shop workers putting a dress back on a rack. She’s not sure why, but she can’t take her eyes off of the garment.

Diane follows her gaze and takes notice of the dress, too. “Want me to get that one?”

“Yeah. Might as well try it.”

Diane heads over to the rack and picks up the knee length dress. It’s white, though it’s covered with a light champagne lace that starts at the collar bones and makes up the 3/4 length sleeves as well as covering the skirt, which is built up with tulle. The dress underneath the lace has a very feminine sweetheart neckline and is cinched at the waist.

Once Chuck slips it on and takes a peek in the mirror, she instantly knows it’s the one. It may not be the traditional type of dress, but it’s perfect. She steps out of the dressing room with a big smile on her face to look to her mother. “Do you like this one?” she asks.

The older woman can’t help but tear up at the sight of her daughter. “You look so beautiful, sweetie. It’s perfect. I love it.”

“Really?” Chuck looks down as she smooths the skirt. “I think it’s the one.”

“I think it’s the one, too. Negan is going to love it.”

Luckily for Chuck, the dress is only about $200, but it’s still beautiful despite the price. It does need some alterations (that, luckily, can be done in the shop), which will add a little bit to the price tag, but Chuck is still very happy with it. As Chuck is in the back with the seamstress taking measurements, Diane sneakily goes to the counter and requests to pay for the dress. Even though Chuck was adamant about not having Diane pay for anything, her mother still wants to provide something for her only daughter. Once Chuck emerges from the back and tries to pay a little while later, she’s, of course, surprised that Diane had taken care of it. She decides not to fight her mother on it, though, since she looks so happy about it.

With the dress crossed off the list, the wedding planning is just about finished. And Negan’s hard work in the backyard has certainly paid off. With the help of Simon, Rick, and Carl on the weekends, Negan’s turned their rather plain backyard into the perfect place to entertain. His brand new grill sits on their covered porch with enough space to do his thing when he feels the need to cookout. The steps lead down to the patio/fire pit complete with seating enough for any fireside chats or storytelling they might want to do. There is, of course, an open area in the middle that will be where the actual wedding will take place, but Negan has still worked on it, making sure the ground is nice and even and the grass is lush and thick. Once Chuck sees the finished product, she’s filled with pride for Negan with how he’s transformed the area so beautifully.

It’s a few weeks before the wedding, but Negan knows Chuck’s heat will start pretty soon. That, paired with their upcoming honeymoon means that he needs to make sure he’s stocked up on protection. They’re not completely out yet, but he knows they’re going to be going through a lot of them pretty soon, especially with the fuckfest he’s planning once they’re in Hawaii. And that means Negan has to head down to the pharmacy.

As soon as Negan walks in, he sees the asshole pharmacist that refuses to fill his prescription for omega condoms on “religious grounds”. Which everyone knows is bullshit, but it’s, somehow, not illegal, even though it’s blatant discrimination. Instead of walking out right then and there, Negan waits in line on the off chance that the other pharmacist had refilled his prescription before the asshole one got there. Once he gets to the front of the line, the usual young woman cashier is at the counter.

“Should I even bother asking?” he says to her. He doesn’t hold any ill will towards the girl. She doesn’t have anything to do with the actual prescriptions. And it’s obvious that she feels bad about the hoops Negan has to jump through.

The cashier gives him a less than hopeful smile. “I can check.”

Negan waits patiently, knowing that the girl will most likely come back empty handed and he’ll have to come back tomorrow. Which is an annoying nuisance. But when she comes back with the bag in her hand, he’s pleasantly surprised.

“Here we go,” she says cheerfully, handing it to Negan.

“Was the other guy here today?” he asks as he gets his wallet out to pay.

“No. It’s been him,” she nods to the asshole pharmacist in the back, “all day.” She accepts Negan’s money and puts it in the register. “Maybe he’s changed his mind about... you know.” She points to the bag now in Negan’s hands.

“I guess.” He turns to walk away, not much caring for the reason that douche bag decided to finally get with the times. “Have a good day, darling,” he throws over his shoulder to the cashier. He’s just glad he doesn’t have to do this all over again tomorrow. Not to mention the fact that his mind is already thinking about just what bedroom activities he’s going to get up to with Chuck.

#writehavoc the Glasswing Butterfly #the glasswing butterfly #negan #negan x oc #negan / oc #negan fanfiction #negan x ofc #alpha negan #negan x original female character #negans thirst squad #negan / ofc #negan / original female character #The Walking Dead #the walking dead fanfiction #The Walking Dead AU #twd #JDM #Jeffrey Dean Morgan

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ssaalexblake · 4 years

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star wars spoilers

ros spoilers

move onnnn

like actual proper major spoilers and i’m making this intro long in case mobile decides to hate read mores today

...

Anyway like, i am a Shallow sw viewer who isn’t actually likely to kick up a fuss abt what i didn’t like in any serious way even tho i got issues, But i wanna say what i really liked b/c?? there were moments in that movie with themes i Loved and i don’t wanna be negative nancy for this franchise because i am actually incapable of taking it seriously tbh no matter how wtf or wild it is and i just Gotta;

First of all. The entire franchise was worth Rey it for calling Leia Master.

like, they added her in best as they could, which wasn’t fabulous but i can’t really say how they’d work their way around that tbh so i’m not gonna rag on abt the Leia plot But god they proper confirmed she was a Legit Jedi thank u V much.

Chewie!!! Got!!! his!!! medal!!!

they put porgs in the movie, it was my only request and i recieved. i am content.

also the effects on old palps were Incredible and Creepy and!!! props to the vis effects teams

also s/o to the choreographer who planned out rey’s fighting style to look like gymnastic tumbles but with a murderous glow stick. love it.

idk what extended sw canon now says about force powers being able to heal But the old eu book shatterpoint is one of my faves and i loved the inclusion that Rey can just like. Heal.

also lol i heard daisy ridley on the radio this morning and she was supposed to be requesting songs to air but didn’t know the names of them and i have Never related to anybody more than i did in that moment.

look ok, that rey and kylie could literally fight each other when not in the same room was Really Cool ok

tho i would have Paid to have seen the pov of an outsider while they had lightsaber battles from miles away tbh b/c that would have been Wild

i had one Horrified moment where i thought the ‘rise of skywalker’ thing was a Pun about kylie dragging his ass up from that hole and u have No Idea how thankful i was @ the Rise sequence

also i, a massive mace windu fan, was Ecstatic his voice was present in the proceedings

which were A) tacky and B) Abdolutely my favourite thing ever.

it’s a space opera ok i am allowed to Want to be here for the tacky heartwarming shit

‘is that the navy??!?!?!?!?@ ‘ no sir... it’s.. .People’ was one of the funniest yet heartwarming sequences in anything ever ngl

HORSE WARTHOGS

inexplicable lin manuel miranda cameo

rey’s temper explained due to the fact that she is related to... Vilanelle

and look ok, i Always hated the idea of Rey being related to the skywalkers and Any crap meta that she had to be family for it to Count properly. It was an insult to found family, any form of adoption etc etc and i am.. Actually very mollified by this familial turn of events lol. It has a certain symmetry. and sw is literally built on the idea that history repeats but... different.

i was’t against rey being related to anybody, i just didn’t want her to be a skywalker because like... she was gonna Be a skywalker b/c legacy isn’t about blood, and uh... least i was right. i am naturally happy abt this.

also when i watched tlj the first time i was CONVINCED at the end of the movie she’d raise luke’s x wing from the depths as yoda did for luke in esb, and was Super off put that i was wrong. I was not wrong just... my timing was off. luke rose the x wing for her. ur yoda now luke. deal with it.

the other ex storm troopers who laid down their weapons!!! all of them!!! fin is not alone, they only have power by making you think you are alone!!!

i Really loved that thematic thread btw

also richard e grant’s performance was actually kind of chilling

but i am glad that i can still happily say that every character in sw Is a total unmitigated idiot. All of them. Stupid. Idiot rights. Yes, this is a plus point.

i also liked that it’s Kind of obvious hamill and ford picked up slack for what Would have been carrie’s scenes??? Like, it’s horrible she’s not there but they obviously care to do that in her stead. it’s sad but makes you smile.

as much as i’m not a kyle fan and never will be, and as much as i am not a fan of the ship, i can’t say there there weren’t decent thematic threads around the rey and kylie plot. Her symbolically killing kylie in a fit of rage, actively actually rising to his bait, realising as luke did in the roj climax that she had let the dark side get the better of her But having the power to take that Back and heal him and Stop even after she’d done something. It’s like the originals but not. And so, kylo is dead and Solo walks again. Was this plot My thing? No. But i appreciate the symbolism of him being stabbed through the stomach like he did to Han, and i appreciate the contrast of her actions after doing that versus His after he did it. What a difference.

i said this wasn’t a complaint post but u wanna know the worst part abt the movie??? how cheap the sith dagger looked. surely u can do better than that???

anyway, 3po’s red eyed when he translated the sith was hilarious tbh.

also hilarious: sw’s response to hiring Another brown haired white lady was to Only show her eyes in a way that was Incredibly conspicuous and was therefore unintentionally hilarious.

Finn is Explicitly force sensitive now and it’s over for y’all

wedge!!!

like... the sith amphitheater??? with the ghosties of all sith past (i think??? my interpretation anyway) was Genuinely creepy???

this is a Bit of a side note, but Luke was Perfectly in tune with tlj luke??? Because tlj luke changed tune before the end of That movie when he gucci booted his astral ass to distract kylie, him Saying his fear was wrong was merely verbal confirmation of what was portrayed in tlj. really. That’s not them backing away from tlj, it’s afffirming it.

i really loved that hux just got That death. I liked that while he Was used for ridiculous comic relief, the narrative did not forget he was just straight up evil.

L A N D O

that i all. that’s the point. just lando.

sheev palpatine’s late entry for Shittiest parent/paternal figure in the sw universe Was at the eleventh hour but by god did he give it his all to win the competition.

things only relevant to cm fans: they killed kate callahan’s husband!!! :((((

critics are slamming them for like, hardly killing anybody but I for one am happy they didn’t go grimdark and just went. Fuck it, we’re gonna keep being bullheadedly optimistic and most everybody lives, deal with it.

s/o to that gay moment that lasted like 2 solid seconds but i’d have preferred it if she’d been like, making out w/ chewie tbh.

that hug!! the trio hug!! my ot3!!! that i am even more convinced would Properly work as an ot3, too btw. Poe spent the whole movie jealous finn is into Rey, while confused abt it b/c He’s also kinda into Rey in that han/leia Tension kinda way, but Finn is also into Poe but not in the Puppy way he is with Rey, in the ‘i am so in love w/ you i don’t realise it but i trust you with the world’ kinda thing and Rey also has the Tension thing w/ Poe and would do anything for Finn but she’s like... Busy. B/c like, unfortunate family reunions and the awkwardness of being a millennial Actually offered a decent job that your morals do not allow you to take and the crisis that leaves u with.

anyway what i’m saying is the ot3 is Sailing in my head. look how it ended!!! Sailing.

however, i would like it known that the lady at the end Should have heard the word skywalker and Run for the hills. missed a chance.

But also Rey Did find that family of hers Maz told her she’d get ahead of her!!! i hate how many ppl say that was dropped or forgotten. like wtf??? what are finn and poe and chewie and bb8 and 3po and all the army of droids that love her and all the resistance that does too??? Luke and Leia??? y’all obsessed with blood when it comes to sw. She’s got her family.

now i Could make a complaints post but i just... I’ll leave that to everybody else and their mothers for now bc they’d be better at it anyway. I liked This stuff. Except for that point about the dagger. that sucked.

#and once again i gotta say fuck to keep this outta tags #believe it or not the is a positive post #i... did not start watching the space opera thinking i'd get stunning cinematic achievements #so i'm not like... actually disappointed bc i expect nothing *shrug emoji*#but as listed #there were many many things i liked to the point i enjoyed watching even tho a few things i Hated #and god i hated them a lot #but also the sw can be super dumb and some of y'all takes on inconsequential parts are.. . absurd #spoilers #sw spoilers #ros spoilers #rise of skywalker spoilers

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antialiasis · 5 years

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Matilda

Matilda was one of my favorite books when I was little. I got it as a present, with a cover based on the 1996 movie, and immediately decided it looked stupid and I wasn't going to read it. Then one day I was sick with nothing to do, and I reluctantly reached for this book that I hadn't read yet, and whoops I loved it. (This was also my reaction to the first Harry Potter book, and to the Pokémon games. My actual tastes were not a great match for my stubborn contrarianness.)

So when I heard Tim Minchin was writing the songs for a musical based on the book, I thought that sounded pretty cool. I'm not sure I actually went and listened to the soundtrack until after I'd gotten into Groundhog Day, though. Either way, once I did a couple years back, the changes it implied from the book fascinated me, and I dug up my copy of the book and reread it. Later, I went on to see the musical in London, then the Icelandic production of it earlier this month, and finally the other day we watched the 1996 movie adaptation, the one piece missing from my Matilda experience before I could write a lengthy Tumblr ramble about this book and its adaptations, as one does.

It never occurred to me reading it as a child, but from an adult's perspective, and a writing perspective, I have a strong suspicion that it was written on the fly - that Roald Dahl did not know what would happen later when he was writing the earlier parts, and the draft was only minimally edited from there. I actually think that's kind of neat - it provides something of a raw window into the author's process. But it does lead to the book having some noticeable flaws that the adaptations try to fix.

Structurally, Matilda the book is split into distinct sections. It starts with a bit of an intro where the narrator vents their frustration with the way that parents are annoyingly convinced their children are perfect, adorable angels, even when they're actually total little shits - complete with hypothetical acidic reports with colorful metaphors that they'd love to give some children's parents if only they could. It's funny, and educational (this is where I first learned about cicadas), but undeniably kind of mean-spirited, and has very little to do with the rest of the book - from there, we just segue to introducing Matilda, the very opposite of these children, who is genuinely brilliant and delightful but treated with contempt and derision by her deeply unpleasant parents. She's left to fend for herself a lot of the time and becomes very independent, and she begins to visit the library to read books, starting with finishing all of the children's books and moving on from there, with the help of a kind librarian, to an extensive list of literary classics.

Here we start the first major section of the book, Matilda's efforts to strike back at her parents when they wrong her. For several chapters, we follow the Wormwoods (well, mostly Mr. Wormwood) being awful and abusive, followed by Matilda thinking up a prank to play in retaliation - the iconic superglue in the hat and bleach in the hair tonic, plus one involving borrowing a neighbor kid's parrot and stuffing its cage into a chimney that both adaptations leave out, probably wisely. Roald Dahl loves thinking up pranks and karmic punishments - this is a recurring theme in his children's books - and basically all of this section is extremely him, but doesn't have much of a sense of progression to it and isn't leading towards much of anything.

Then, we're quite abruptly off to the next section, where Matilda goes to school. She's enrolled in Miss Honey's class, Miss Honey recognizes her talents, and we follow Miss Honey's unsuccessful attempts to convince first Miss Trunchbull and then Matilda's parents that she should be moved straight up into sixth grade. Then we get back to full Roald Dahl form as for several chapters we see/learn about the various outrageous ways that Miss Trunchbull abuses students - Chokey, the hammer-throwing, the iconic Bruce Bogtrotter cake scene, lifting a boy by the ears, etc. - and how the students have tried to fight back. ...And then, as Matilda is being unfairly accused of something she didn't do, she tips over a glass with her eyes.

The story takes a sudden swerve away from being a series of inventive over-the-top pranks and punishments. Matilda confides in Miss Honey about her newly-discovered telekinetic powers, proves them to her by tipping the glass again, and comes with her to her house - which is a tiny cottage. Miss Honey reveals that she grew up with a horrifically abusive aunt after the death of her mother and later her father's suspicious apparent suicide, and that the aunt commandeers her wages, and that the aunt is Miss Trunchbull. We're the vast majority of the way through the book now and it just suddenly got real. Matilda formulates a plan; she painstakingly practices using her powers at home until she can levitate and precisely control one of her father's cigars telekinetically; and the next time Miss Trunchbull teaches their class, in the middle of her abusing the children further, Matilda telekinetically uses some chalk to write a threatening message from Miss Honey's late father on the blackboard, and Miss Trunchbull faints on the spot and is taken to the infirmary.

The next day, Miss Trunchbull gets out of town, and Miss Honey's father's will turns up unexpectedly, allowing Miss Honey to move back into her family's house. Matilda becomes a frequent guest, and reveals one day that she's no longer able to use her powers - which Miss Honey suggests might be because she's finally getting the mental stimulation that she needs. When Matilda heads home that day, though, her parents are in the process of packing everything for a move to Spain. When Matilda returns to Miss Honey, upset, Miss Honey reveals that it was well known her father was in with some shady people, selling stolen cars from all over the country, and they're probably moving to escape the police. Then they run back, Matilda asks her parents to please let her stay with Miss Honey, and they basically go "Whatever" and leave, leaving Matilda and Miss Honey to finally have found a loving family with each other.

It's a fantastic story and I love it, but there are definitely some noticeable oddities in how it plays out, likely thanks to being written on the fly, and the adaptations take a couple of different approaches to addressing these things.

First, structurally it's weird how long we spend on Matilda's library adventures and then the prank war with her parents, when the main plot turns out to revolve entirely around what happens at the school, and specifically the increasingly terrifying Miss Trunchbull, with the early stuff almost entirely irrelevant. In my Icelandic copy, we're a hundred pages in (out of 240) before we even properly begin to hear about Miss Trunchbull's atrocities. We learn late in the book that Miss Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, who abused and terrorized her to the point where she meekly agreed to let Miss Trunchbull receive all her wages and leave her with pocket change - but in the early scene where Miss Honey goes to see Miss Trunchbull, it jarringly doesn't read like she's confronting someone with that sort of control over her: Miss Honey is stated to be kind of terrified of her, but it only sounds like it's in the way that anyone would be terrified of a person like this, and she's perfectly willing to argue with and object to her until she gives up, seemingly just because Miss Trunchbull is completely unreasonable and refuses to listen. Matilda's telekinetic powers come out of nowhere two thirds into the book, with nothing foreshadowing them even in hindsight; Miss Honey's explanation of the powers as having come about simply because Matilda wasn't using enough of her brain rang false and annoyed me even as a child, when her discovery of her powers had seemingly arisen specifically out of this intense justified rage at this person who was such an awful, despicable monster; and after Matilda's father had in the first half of the book been portrayed merely as a sleazy used car salesman who sells his cars as newer than they actually are, the sudden revelation a couple of pages before the end that actually he was involved with organized crime this whole time is quite jarring and feels distinctly pulled out to get rid of Matilda's awful parents for good and let her live with Miss Honey as they both so clearly deserve (and don’t get me wrong, that’s so satisfying that it’s hard to care that it took a weird asspull for it to happen).

The 1996 movie is really quite faithful to the book, more so than I expected, but makes some reasonable modifications. Some of the early stuff about Matilda's reading and so on gets told nicely in the form of montages, it cuts the parrot prank, and instead Matilda at one point remotely shuts off the TV after being forced to sit down and watch it - foreshadowing her telekinetic abilities early. There's also a scene at a restaurant that reads as simply wacky comedy logic as it's happening but is probably also foreshadowing her telekinesis, in hindsight. The cops are after Matilda's dad from the start, with scenes added where the cops are watching their house, trying to gather information, and one where Matilda, now in control of her powers, sabotages their warrantless search of the garage and sends them fleeing. The discovery of Matilda's telekinesis and Miss Honey's backstory happens significantly earlier in the runtime, relatively speaking; a subplot is added about Matilda and Miss Honey trying to retrieve some of Miss Honey's possessions from Miss Trunchbull's house following this, and Matilda then using her powers to scare Trunchbull in her house, setting up her belief that the ghost of Miss Honey's father is haunting her. Matilda's powers, which are considerably more potent than in the book, don't disappear at the end at all - but they're also clearly established as being linked to her sense of justice, with her needing to tap into that feeling specifically to activate them. The theme of her sense of justice is emphasized in general and works pretty well to tie the story together - a scene early on where her father offhandedly says "When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson!" inspires her retaliation against her parents and then subsequently Trunchbull. And there's a really cute montage at the end where Matilda and Miss Honey goof around together and it's great because they're both basically getting to be children for the first time. Trunchbull is also more extensively humiliated before she bolts (in the book she only faints and a student dumps some water on her "to wake her up", but her real punishment is the conviction that she will be watched for the rest of her life by the vengeful ghost of the man she murdered, which I think is plenty, honestly). The tone of the film is largely pretty silly and goofy, similar to the tone of most of the book; the plummeting darkness of Miss Honey's story in the book is toned down, though we do learn in the movie that Trunchbull broke Miss Honey's arm when she was seven years old, so it’s not as if she gets off easy either.

The musical, on the other hand, has its own approach and takes more interesting liberties with the story; it allows itself more tonal range, ranging from extremely silly and over-the-top to some truly heartwrenching emotional moments, which I think may be easier to pull off in a musical than a regular movie.

The first time I listened to the musical soundtrack, I heard the first song, "Miracle", and realized that - oh, wow, they adapted the intro. In the opening number, spoiled, untalented children sing proudly of how their parents call them miracles and princes and princesses, while a hapless children's entertainer takes on the role of the book's narrator:

One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days It seems like there are millions of these one-in-a-millions these days Specialness seems de rigeur Above average is average, go figure Is it some modern miracle of calculus that such frequent miracles don't render each one unmiraculous?

Tim Minchin absolutely read the first chapter of the book and just straight-up adapted that irritated musing on how somehow every parent thinks their children are extraordinary into a song, and I love it.

What's even cooler about this, though, is that the musical actually goes on to deconstruct the mean-spiritedness of that intro. The children in this song are the same children who will end up being Matilda's classmates - where they're made likeable and sympathetic. Their parents may have pampered them, but they're just kids who don't deserve Trunchbull's abuses, and in the end they're brave and stand up for each other, in a Spartacus-like scene where every child stands up to deliberately misspell a word to force Trunchbull to punish them as well as the student who'd failed her spelling test. In "Revolting Children", their triumphant victory song after chasing Trunchbull away, we actually explicitly call back to "Miracle" and turn its cynically parodesque opening line into an empowering affirmation:

Never again will the Chokey door slam Never again will I be bullied and Never again will I doubt it when my mummy says I'm a miracle!

It's great and I think this is one of my favorite things in Matilda the musical. Maybe these children weren't as inherently special as their parents were convinced they were, but they aren't just props in Matilda's story; they're pretty cool in their own right, and maybe they actually deserve to be called miracles.

The musical's solution to the Wormwoods' sudden move to Spain is to set up throughout the show that Mr. Wormwood is specifically trying to sell a bunch of cars to these particular Russians that he's swindling, and at the end the Russians turn out to be gangsters, who are all set to beat him to a pulp when Matilda impresses them by speaking perfect Russian and pleading for her father's freedom (well, saying that she's had enough of revenge) - leading to the Russians threatening Mr. Wormwood, and thus to the Wormwoods leaving to get away somewhere they'll never encounter them again. It's a pretty funny scene, and just by making Mr. Wormwood's customers throughout the story all be this same group of Russians, it becomes clear to the viewer that they're going to come back in some way, making it all work out pretty satisfyingly.

In the musical, Trunchbull being Miss Honey's abusive aunt is absolutely telegraphed. Miss Honey's first solo song is "Pathetic", where she brutally berates herself for the sheer panic she's feeling at the thought of facing Miss Trunchbull:

Look at you trying to hide, silly Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl, it's just pathetic!

Look at you hesitating, hands shaking You should be embarrassed You're not a little girl, it's just pathetic!

Not only is she clearly terrified out of her wits about this - she's clearly a victim of emotional abuse, someone who's been told over and over that she's pathetic. It's not obvious it's Miss Trunchbull herself, of course - that'd give the game away - but in hindsight you can clearly see it, in a way you couldn't in the book, and it's heartbreaking. Miss Honey also has a bit later in the song “When I Grow Up”, echoing some lines originally sung by the children, but they take on a new meaning when you know what the creature beneath her bed actually is:

When I grow up I will be brave enough to fight the creatures that you have to fight beneath the bed each night to be a grown-up

The first time I listened to the Matilda soundtrack (the original London version, nota bene), I noticed this better setup of Miss Honey’s past, and that was the first thing to make me really interested in how this adaptation was done - and then "I'm Here" started, and it just instantly punched me in the gut emotionally. I had no idea what on earth this song was on about - Matilda was telling some story about an escapologist's daughter, which sounded suspiciously like Miss Honey's story, and why was Matilda telling that??? - but man, I felt things.

What turned out to be going on was that the musical took a whole different approach to presenting Miss Honey's story. Throughout the story, the musical solves the structural problems by interleaving the parent stuff and the library trips with the school storyline - so at several different points, Matilda goes to the library, where she tells a serial story to the librarian, Mrs. Phelps. When Mrs. Phelps asks her about her parents, Matilda always maintains they're so wonderful and loving and they probably miss her so much while she's away - and the story, though kind of silly and over-the-top, is heartbreakingly clearly also a wish-fulfillment fantasy on Matilda's part: it's about this perfect, wonderful couple, an acrobat and an escapologist, who are the most wonderful people and the greatest circus performers in history, and all they've ever wanted is a child. Only then it takes a dark turn: when they're finally expecting a child, they're forced by the acrobat's sister to perform a horribly dangerous circus act, which fatally injures the acrobat so that she only lives just long enough to deliver their daughter, and from there the acrobat's sister begins to abuse the daughter when the escapologist is away. In "I'm Here", a distraught Matilda just out of an explosive confrontation with her father retreats to her room and then abruptly, without an audience, begins to tell the final part of the story, where the escapologist manages to come home early and find his daughter crying, locked in the cellar. He breaks the door open and tells her not to cry, apologizes tearfully for leaving her behind, and promises he'll spend the rest of his life making it up to her and they'll be together forever, while giving her a scarf that her mother used to own - and then she, softly echoing the same melody, tells him not to cry and starts apologizing to him, and guh I'm a blubbering mess what did you do to me Tim Minchin. When she's asleep, though, he's filled with righteous rage and goes to confront the aunt - and he's never seen again.

Later, when Matilda first discovers her powers, we get the song "Quiet", which is also excellent - Matilda just trying to explain what is happening to her in a way that's frantic and disorganized but plainly brilliant, talking about these ideas of philosophy and physics buzzing in her head all the time, and:

But I wonder if inside my head I'm not just a bit different from some of my friends These answers that come into my mind unbidden These stories delivered to me fully written

These aren't stories at all - it's her powers. She's not just telekinetic, she's telepathic - she picked up this story of the acrobat and escapologist in some paranormal way, and a little later, in the song "My House", Miss Honey turns out to own the scarf from the story, and her parents were an acrobat and escapologist (in the book her father was a doctor and her mother's line of work is never specified, I believe, but presumably they were given more extravagant, unique professions to add flair to the story and make it more unmistakable that this is no coincidence), and Matilda realizes it's Miss Honey's story she's been telling the librarian.

There's probably still a made-up element to it - Matilda's story as she tells it, especially the first couple of parts of it, is pretty over-the-top and ridiculous and hard to take entirely seriously. But I think the point is just that it was emotionally true. They were an acrobat and an escapologist, they desperately wanted a child, maybe the circus act didn't literally involve the acrobat being on fire with dynamite in her hair but it was still pretty dangerous - and the final part of the story, told in "I'm Here", is devoid of these over-the-top elements and was probably entirely literal.

This is a pretty brilliant adaptational choice, I think. In the book, we had to hear about Miss Honey's story in a big exposition dump where she told Matilda the story - it worked pretty well there, though it was very late in the book, but I doubt it would in the theater. This way, we get to hear this story pretty innocuously, get kind of invested in it as a fairy tale sort of thing, then get this incredibly emotional song that's simultaneously a reenactment of Miss Honey's past and a fantasy sequence where Matilda finally gets to be comforted by a real parental figure who cares about her - and then all we need once Matilda gets to Miss Honey's house is to link these things together. And once we do, we realize the story has been setup for her powers and for Miss Honey's story all along, tying everything together. It's beautiful and I'm really impressed they came up with this.

In the musical, Miss Honey's proposed explanation for Matilda's powers being lost becomes that she no longer needed them. Overall, with the telepathic element added, it gains a bit more of a feel of the universe granting Matilda these powers specifically so that she could set things right with Trunchbull and Miss Honey - less apparently connected to Matilda feeling righteous rage, as in the movie, and more about the intervention of greater powers. And I'm okay with that too. One might ask why a skeptic would feel that way - and to that I say, come on, we're talking about psychic powers, we're kind of beyond the scientific. Still, though, I did think the movie actively and explicitly making it about Matilda's justified fury was pretty powerful, and though she ultimately ended up being able to use her powers casually there, if I were adapting the story myself I think I’d go with her powers being driven by righteous fury but she hasn’t been able to use them since her life became normal and happy and she stopped feeling that way.

All in all, Matilda the musical is a super-interesting adaptation and I’m quite fond of it. There are definitely bits I like less, but the good bits are really good.

(One of the bits I like less: the musical adds a curious subplot that doesn’t quite go anywhere about Matilda's mom, who is very obviously cheating on Mr. Wormwood with her "part Italian" dance partner Rodolfo. In "Miracle", there's a silly bit with Matilda's birth, where when Mr. Wormwood comes along and sees Matilda, he's completely baffled that the baby doesn't have a "thingy". It's a ridiculous gag about how ignorant he is, but also sort of implies that Mr. Wormwood just doesn't understand human reproductive anatomy at all, and along with the way that Mrs. Wormwood is clearly having sex with Rodolfo but there's no sign of intimacy between her and her husband, it may be implied (for the adults in the theater) that they've just never actually done it and Rodolfo, or someone else, is the father of her children. Possibly the idea here is that Matilda's biological father was someone significantly smarter than Mr. Wormwood. I may be reading way too much into this, and I'm kind of iffy on the implications of this if it's actually the intention, but either way I think it's kind of a weird part of the show and wonder what lay behind it.)

#matilda #matilda the musical #adaptations #ramble #review #oh boy this is long #me and my musical rambles

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