#struggled so bad in math earlier today and all i could think of was how sexy changbin is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ajaxsprettyboy · 2 years

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Anniversary

Xiao x reader - fluff + smut

Waking up that day was a struggle, I smelled the coffee my mom had brewed for herself and immediately became overcome with a horrendous headache. It took sheer unadulterated willpower to not throw up dinner because of how pungent the smell was.

After nearly throwing my guts up through my esophagus, I walked downstairs and greeted my mother. She said something about what she was doing that day and honestly I wasn’t paying attention, it had nothing to do with me so I had no real reason to care.

She drove me to school and we said our goodbyes, the first day of the second semester of senior year, what a mouthful. I put on my best I’m-totally-not-falling-asleep face and walked up to Childe and Aether, Lumine was off talking to someone I wasn’t sure I knew, they had pretty brown hair though.

We walked into the school and sat in the cafeteria until the bell rang, then we could go to our lockers and first period. I had a tech class, in the nicest way possible, the absolute worst group to be with at 7 in the morning. I mean come on, Itto, please. Nobody wants to hear you screaming about your bug collection to the girl that oh so obviously has a crush on you.

But alas, what is there to do but stick with Childe. He was a popular guy, active in most sports, does lots of things around school, overall a nice guy. He’s got money though, so that’s probably why he became so popular in the first place. We’ve been friends for years though-I mean, I know his daily routine by heart.

Regardless, he’s definitely got other friends he talks to more often, but I still hold the title of ‘Best Friend’. It’s not all bad though, people tend to care about you more when you’re a popular boy’s friend. That’s cool I guess.

Anyway, we sat talking till the bell rang then off to second period, which was math, calculus to be exact. Mr. V. is a bitch so people ignore his bullshit rants and do the homework in class. Ganyu sits with me though so it’s not terrible.

Once we get to 3rd period I knew it’s time to start paying attention, more awake and aware. For…health. I already knew all the content for this class so I just doodle the class period away, soon enough it’s time for lunch.

I sit with Ayato, Ayaka, Aether, Lumine, Ningguang, and Beidou typically, but today I decided to sit with Ganyu and Keqing. Well, Ganyu, Keqing, and someone I’d never seen before, I think she said her name was Lisa. She was the girl Lumine was talking to earlier, I don’t know how she didn’t get dress coded with that top but I let it go considering it’s her first day.

The rest of the day draged on, khaenri'ahn, English, science, and so on. My mom expected me to walk home today so I was going off to a local coffee shop to study, and it started raining. Luckily, Childe was kind enough to drive me home rather than the coffee shop and stayed with me for a while. After an hour he began to leave, not without cleaning the living room before he left.

Nothing crazy happened during that hour, that was really two including the cleaning time, besides a sentence that kept crawling back in my head. “Ya’ know, my friend really likes you, he’s just to pussy to say something.” I mean there are guys who like me but one told them that I wasn’t too Interested in having a relationship at the time.

Maybe mystery man is one of them but I don’t think any of them are really close with Childe so what does he mean? Is he one of our under-classmen? That’s a possibility but I don’t understand why one of them would like me, unless it’s a hallway crush thing…

Days went by and I began getting small gifts left at my seat, or letters left in my locker. “This is so cliché I feel like I’m in a bad Hallmark movie!” I said to Lumine, knowing she’s been in stranger situations. “I don’t know there’s been worse, I mean look at Itto and his little friend.” She laughed, I won’t lie I giggled too. But honestly, this was getting weird.

He must’ve heard me speaking to her because the next lot of notes and letters were signed “X” in fancy penmanship. I know of only four people with ‘X’ names, Xiao, Xingqiu, Xiangling, and, Xinyan. Xiangling and Xinyan are both girls so that leaves Xingqiu and Xiao.

Xingqiu is years younger than us, so it must be Xiao right? I talk it over with Ganyu and Childe, who confirmed it was him, to make sure I wasn’t crazy. So maybe I had a crush on Xiao for a while and maybe he might like me back, no biggie, right?

“So how do I confront him? I’ll just ask him out! No that’s stupid…” my voice trailed off as I realized he was standing right in front of me. “Oh! Hey! Uh, would you maybe wanna, ehem, would you wanna go ou- get coffee? Tea? Coffee sometime ? “ “sure”

Sure? Sure? That’s all he said, okay uhh, “Cool! What day and time?” Shit where are we going though? “After school today if you can would be preferable.” Okay uhh, “sure, yeah, so uh, where though?” Please somewhere good please somewhere good please please please, “ just the shop down the street, meet me at the main entrance.” How is he so calm, oh my, fuck. “Okay! See you then!”

All I could think about the whole day was how stupid I sounded next to a completely stoic man, I kept decently cool though…after the whole initial bit there. It’s last period already? Fuck, fuck, fuck, what if I keep him waiting? Shit- oh.

He’s just getting out of class too? Okay good good..wait obviously it’s last period! Anyway uh get your stuff and okayyyy waiting for him and “Hey Xiao!“ “didn’t keep you waiting did i? Anyway, shall we go?” “We shall!” I follow him, his car is so nice, it smells new. Ew that’s weird don’t say that, okay uhh here we are.

The way he drives is kinda hot, the way he parks too? Okay well now maybe I’m just getting worked up because it’s my first date in a while… no he’s just hot- okay! “We’re here” “oh yeah! Sorry, was sort of daydreaming..” he chuckled and opened my door for me…he’s a gentleman too?

He’s so nice, he opened the door for me to go in before him, pulled out my chair, and pushed it in! I’ll have to pay because this is just too much to not repay. “What do you two want to get?” The waitress! God, she spooked me, I was just getting out my wallet so I could tell him to pay with my money but I guess when you sit down they come up and take your order.

“I’ll have a black iced coffee with French vanilla flavoring and a plate of almond tofu, please.” The waitress wrote down some things in scribbles I couldn’t understand much, “and for you?” I thought for a moment before answering, “I’ll have (your drink order) and… mmm maybe a chicken wrap?“ she started writing again, “will that be all?” We both nodded our heads.

We spoke with the usual small talk until our orders came, and once they did we began sipping and eating. In between bites and gulps we spoke about school and other things not as important, seeing as it’s our last year at this school it’s somewhat pointless to care as much about the sports we play or played. He spoke about baseball though, he seemed to enjoy talking about it. With my limited knowledge I asked questions here and there, which seemed to make him happy.

Once we were done we called our waitress over, “I can pay,” “No let me pay I was the one who asked you.” I watched as he continued to take out his wallet and sighed, “at least let me pay for your gas.” He nodded as he put the money in the shop’s card holder. He walked me out and pushed my seat in after me before I got the chance to do so, making me feel worse about not being able to pay.

“We still have a long time before it’ll get dark out, do you wanna do something?” I asked, hoping he had something he wanted to do. “Mm wanna go back to mine? My dad’s not gonna care, he’ll just tell you stories from when he was younger.” I nodded my head and texted my mom that I was going to a friends house, to which she replied with a gif saying ‘use protection!’ With a dancing condom. I silently groaned at my mom’s antics, before saying something about how it’s not like that.

Oh how wrong I was, once we got there I met his dad, Mr. Zhongli. We spoke to him for a while then went to Xiao’s room. He goes on to tell me about the things he has in his room, his cat named tofu, who’s a sphinx cat, and things about his friends. While he was talking I was admiring the architecture of his house and room, it was beautiful.

We spoke for hours, my phone occasionally buzzing, my friends texting me about something. I’m sure they think I’m getting laid right now, but this guy isn’t going to do anything on the first date. By the time 7:30 rolled around we laughed at their ideas of us hooking up, and then he drove me home. Unfortunately he met my mom, who doted on him a little too much.

Thankfully, though his dad had called him to get him home for dinner before it could get too bad. He left and my mom teased me until I walked away from the table. She giggled as I thanked her for dinner and cleaned my plate. Walking up to my room, I got ready for bed and fell asleep without even getting under the covers.

One date was amazing, but one turned into two, two turned into four, four into eight, eight into a couple. It’s been a month now, when I went over his house I noticed a bag on his dresser, he was on his bed, getting pillows for our pillow fort, and I asked him what was in the bag. I was just folding the blanket as I asked, it was an innocent question! “A box of condoms.” He replied, somehow unfazed. I dropped the blanket in shock, causing him to laugh.

“Don’t worry, they’re not mine, Childe asked me to get them for him, he was shopping with his little siblings when he realized he needed more, thus provoking him to ask me.” “Ohh, I mean I wasn’t worried but definitely shocked.” “They could be mine if you want them to be though,” he teased. I slapped his shoulder and carried the blanket off to the living room, making him laugh as he hopped from his bed to follow me.

Subtle hints that he’s ready to have sex with me persisted until we were close to our four month anniversary, then I made a few hints, and finally the day came. Our four month anniversary, we were at his place, considering we spent all the others at mine, and he had another box of condoms, this time for his own use.

It started off slowly, we waited till his father left for work, then he locked his door, making sure his cat wouldn’t walk in. Slow kissing, our mouths interwoven, creating a hot atmosphere. He was feeling up and down on my body, clothes mindlessly flew off layer by layer, our mouthes only disconnecting to rid ourselves of our tops and undergarments.

He opened the box and tore off a small black square from a link, setting it beside us on his bedside table. He took my left nipple in his mouth, the right being toyed with as his other had touched my sex. He played with my sex enough to prepare me for his finders going in my hole. He spit on his fingers before shoving them in, well, one at first, then two, and finally three.

He curled them inside me while also making sure to move back and forth. He then tore open the condom, rolling it down his shaft. He slowly pushed himself into me, making sure to continuously look up at me for approval, and once I told him to move it was shallow and slow thrusts. “Harder” I groaned, “fuck-yeah!”

He complied, his thrusts became rougher, he didn’t speed up though, until I told him to. The bed creaked with every thrust and he groaned, mumbled something about how good I felt around him. The feeling of his cock stroking in and out of my insides was phenomenal. This went on for hours, the room was filled with pants, groans, moans, and slurred words.

Thankfully he had a bathroom in his room making cleanup much easier, his sheets though, needed to be changed. They were stained with bodily fluids, we both got in the shower, him after me. Then we got dressed and changed his sheets, the new ones fresh out of the dryer. Tofu was cuddling me, on my chest while Xiao put his dirty sheet in the wash.

His dad didn’t come back until another hour had passed. Thankfully we were just playing with tofu while watching a movie, Major League to be exact. He came in to check on us, saying something about how he’d be making our shared favorite of his fathers dishes. He called us down for dinner an hour later. As we ate he congratulated us on four months of dating then spoke about his and our day, we lied saying we were watching movies all day.

Well, it wasn’t a complete lie. There were movies going on in the background, we just weren’t paying attention. He believed it and offered to clean our plates for us in which Xiao happily obliged before I could say anything. He laughed at my shocked face then said, “wanna build a pillow fort?”

#snow.writes #genshin impact #genshin #genshin fluff #genshin imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact xiao #genshin xiao #xiao fluff #xiao smut #modern genshin au

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wakingupclean · 18 days

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just kind of like a reminder of what i was thinking about while vacuuming earlier that i'd like to bring up to my mom at some point

the other day she was saying how she hopes my youngest sister will one day get her shit together mostly in regards to being able to keep her house clean (sister has two toddlers and works full time and is a single parent). i brought that up to my mom and she was like "oh well i managed to do that" but no she had the help of my dad when we were little. and i didn't bring up that my sister is neurodivergent and has always struggled with keeping spaces neat and organized due to her executive dysfunction (a cardinal sin in our house growing up)

and i think a lot of my mom's feelings about that do come from a lack of understanding. she and my dad truly always have just thought we kids were being purposefully, spitefully lazy when we weren't able to keep up to their standards be it with cleaning, school, or work later in life. bc they were able to have a clean house and work full time just fine

but like even putting aside neurodivergence (which-- my thinking on this today is the result of my own current introspection and self-discovery on that subject)--- i think one of the issues is that my parents look at these skills as just basic default human characteristics that if one isn't performing well, they are trying to be rebellious. when these are *skills*. not a default part of the human condition as much as capitalism wants to pretend otherwise

like it is recommended and somewhat expected for most able bodied people to get some amount of exercise and so many people do sports as children or adults. but nobody in either of these categories is expected to be an olympic athlete nor shamed for not being able to achieve that level of skill

we all have a variety of things we're skilled and not skilled with, regardless of neurodivergence or other qualities. this seems obvious especially when it comes to school- like most people will readily admit they are bad at math. but it is seen as such an almost moral failing to be bad at social interaction or worse, to not be good at meeting the demands of the ~expected~ lifestyle

idk this has always been something i've struggled with bc there are so many areas in life where ive never measured up, but as able to skate by through masking or due to my own stellar performance in other subjects. like yeah middle school ashley doesn't really have friends and misses a shit ton of school and even has SI! but she gets great grades, is gifted, and loved by teachers so those other struggles don't matter. until 20 years later when the burnout hits and the masks start to chip and everything is suddenly so, so hard. my mom keeps sending me links for jobs to apply to and i am just like 1) i am in the middle of spravato treatments which is a huge time commitment 2) mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually i dont think i could even work 10 hours a week right now!!

and that is terrifying and keeps taking me into a loop of like i feel a little better following a spravato day and then i remember that i cant support myself anymore and that my parents who were so so proud of me the past few years (finally! proud of me, the former alcoholic fuck up! doing the 9-5, having a 401k, a career, independence) are slowly starting to view me as a colossal lazy fuck up again and not caring about my current capabilities or how much pain i'm in or how many nights i pray for death... because to them, i should be pushing through it and sucking it up.

and i know that they're scared for when they're no longer around if i can't support myself then i will be even more fucked. but it's been like six months since i quit and no amounts of rest seem to be helping and id what to do.

this is so hard and i try not to think about it bc i will spiral- distraction, distraction, distraction. and today i keep remembering that i need to ask them for $200ish to pay my electricity and phone bills and i am avoiding that because i know i am just sinking further and further in their eyes. and i dont want to care so much but i do. it felt so good when they were proud of me. but that is the trick of it, that's how it felt when i was a kid too and was the golden child for a time. falling from a pedestal bruises harder each time i think

#personal #journal type post #went on a tangent

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kyloswarstars · 3 years

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ROOMMATES • Part 4

Divergent • College AU • Eric x Reader

ROOMMATES masterlist 💫 Divergent masterlist

You escaped your current living situation by moving in with your friend Christina – and five other college students. Little did you know that one of them was the guy who was your ultimate pain in the neck since your first semester. Now, you had to find a way to not strangle him in his sleep out of pure frustration. Also, you had to find a way to get rid of those weird butterfly feelings for him that slowly grew in your stomach.

Words • 2.3k

Warnings • mentions of drug use and unsettling text messages

The enemies to lovers story no one needed.

/////

In the following weeks you noticed Eric’s drive to make your life extra hard, by going against your opinions, decreased. You got along. Occasionally, your thoughts drifted back to that weird moment in the furniture store. Holding hands. And his fingers trying to intertwine with yours. If that was a deliberate action or an automatic reaction – you couldn’t say. All you knew was that the memory of it made your stomach twist and you didn’t like that.

The number of folded papers in your pockets had increased immensely. They were pulled out under the dinner table when you couldn’t endure Eric’s stares anymore. Or while waiting for the shower to be free. Or right after the ‚GN‘ knock at night when that stupid smile on your lips didn’t want to leave.

It was Friday. Friday was the weekly grocery haul day. It was your second time having to fulfil that task. The first time it had been with Tris who patiently showed you what everyone’s favorite snack was – Eric’s were those little pretzels covered in chocolate – and what kind of vegetables were an ultimate must buy.

It was Friday. And this time you had to go shopping with Eric. In the morning he told you to get read for noon. At noon he told you to get ready for five. At five he tried to push it back once more but you grew impatient.

„If we don’t go now, we don’t have to go at all today. All the fresh stuff will be gone,“ you pointed out, grabbed your backpack and didn’t leave him a choice anymore really. You put on your shoes and left the apartment. Eric was rambling something as he came rushing down the stairs after you.

„Where did you park?“

„Left.“

You walked ahead and tried to spot his car without being able. Further down the road you started to cross a street and suddenly felt a hand around your wrist. Eric nodded behind his back. „This way.“

His hand was immediately gone after telling you to change directions. Still, the spots where his fingertips had touched your skin was burning as if they had left marks. I don’t like that at all.

You were well prepared. After all you had the complete day to brace yourself for the struggle you expected. The shopping list was in your pocket, though not the only paper in there, the community money was in your backpack and you took a drag, or five, of Will’s joint earlier.

The store wasn’t that filled as you thought it would be on a Friday. Good. A lot of people made you nervous.

Eric pushed the cart and already at the first stop, fruit section, he remembered that your last discussion had been a few days ago. Too long. Time to settle for a new one.

„Take the blueberries.“ He pointed to the little containers as if you didn’t know what blueberries were.

„I want apples so I’m getting apples,“ you stated.

„Blueberries are super high on antioxidants, you know.“

„Cool but I don’t want to eat thirty tiny things. I want to eat one thing.“

„Fine. But I want blueberries.“

„Then take them yourself. You’re not decoration, Eric. You have hands to use them.“ You shook your head at how ridiculous he was. You weren’t his personal shopping assistant, this was a team work thing.

The veggie section wasn’t any better. You just tried to work your way through the shopping list and directed Eric on what else to pick. Admittedly, since living with your roommates, your eating got a lot healthier because they actually knew how to cook.

You completed the booze area, cheese heaven and dairy aisle without any further debates and turned into a new aisle. Then took a step back out of it again to look down the hallway.

„What now?“ Eric stopped the cart in time before running you over.

„I thought I saw someone I know.“ No one was there though. And if that person, you that had been there, really was there, you were glad they disappeared. Meeting ghosts from the past was under no circumstances something you wanted to happen while Eric was around.

Snack aisle. You grabbed some nuts for you and also the chocolate pretzels without thinking twice. Which caused another awkward moment when you placed them in the cart. Was life to be full of awkward moments now?

Eric looked at you bluntly, then forced a smile on his lips. You picked out the favorite snacks of your other roommates as well to show that his wasn’t the only one you remembered.

Whenever you turned into a new aisle you nervously checked if there was a ghost from the past. You never found one and were incredibly relieved when you made it through check out and had stored all the groceries in Eric’s trunk. And the backseat.

„Smartie waved at me yesterday,“ Eric said as the car rolled from the parking lot onto the street.

„Are you sure you didn’t imagine that?“

„It was close enough to be counted as a wave,“ he admitted. Though, talking about penguins broke the tense atmosphere. You hadn’t even been on the road for a minute and Eric pulled into another parking lot. He stopped at a diner drive thru window. „Milkshake?“

„Doesn’t look like I can say no now that we’re here.“

He rolled down his window and you were greeted by a waitress. She asked what she could serve you.

„Two milkshakes,“ Eric turned to you. „What flavour do you want?“

You leaned over to the window. „Strawberry, please,“ you smiled at the waitress and found yourself – too close to Eric’s face. Half leaning on his chest he mumbled a ‚for me too‘. Yep. Life would be full of awkward moments from now on.

You saved yourself to the passenger side and tried to hide the heat rising in your face by looking out the window. In fact you rolled it down to get a cool breeze. No chance, though. Chicago didn’t want to help you with that today.

„There you go!“ The waitress handed your milkshakes to Eric and you carefully made sure that this time your fingers wouldn’t touch. You sipped on your milkshake all the way back to the apartment.

The more often you took the way up and down the three flights of stairs, the more your muscles grew used to it. On moving day your legs had trembled so bad. Now, that all the groceries were up in the apartment you didn’t notice a single muscle being impressed by the stairs anymore.

Eric kneeled at the fridge, you handed him all the groceries that had to go in there. When you fished his blueberries out of the bag you couldn’t bite back a remark.

„Here, Eric. May they taste as good as my apples.“

He just shook his head and put them away. Once all the food that had to be cooled was put away, you stole away to sit on the balcony and finish your milkshake. He actually joined you.

„Why do you want to become a doctor?“ That question slipped faster than you had thought it to an end in your head.

„The obvious reason. To help people.“ He sipped as loudly on his milkshake as you did. „Why are you studying math out of all terrible things?“

„Same reason as yours,“ you bluntly stated.

„Yeah?“ Eric had stared at you ever since you sat down on the balcony. You had noticed that out of the corner of your eye. Now you looked at him as well.

„Yes.“ A smile grew on your lips. That was what you hoped you would be able to do one day.

/////

The evening atmosphere on the balcony was relaxing. Will came and joined Eric and you at some point. Then Christina got back home as well. One after the other found a spot on the balcony floor to squeeze in and contributed to a growing conversation.

It was warm instead of hot and Four provided everyone with beer. Tris suggested to head out to the beach all together soon. Everyone was all hyped for her plan and you hoped they wouldn’t notice that your excitement for that was just nonexistent. Nevertheless you enjoyed them making plans for everyone together. Christina didn’t exaggerate when she said, all those weeks ago when she suggested for you to move in, that all the roommates were like family.

Eric got out of one of the two lounge chairs. „Who wants pizza?“ And that question was the most rhetorical question he could’ve asked his roommates. Because everyone wanted pizza.

In this house pizza was made all by hand. So far the only pizza you had eaten here were takeouts someone brought home. The thought of completely self-made pizza sounded too good to be true.

Eric navigated his kitchen ‚staff‘. It seemed that when it came to pizza, he was the chef.

„Tris and Chris, you’re slicing the veggies. The guys can prep the tomato sauce.“ You waited to get a task too but so far he didn’t trust you with anything.

Eric grabbed flour from the shelf, oil and some water and yeast from the fridge. He placed it all in front of you on the countertop and fetched a bowl out of the cupboard. Balancing some sugar and salt down from the shelf, he came to stand right next to you.

„Did you ever make pizza dough yourself?“ He lowered his head a little for you to understand him better with the loud bantering about the vegetables that was going on behind your backs.

„Not really.“ You were a little overwhelmed. Not even cookie dough was within the realm of possibility for you.

„Wanna try?“ Eric’s voice sounded encouraging. He must’ve noticed the look of horror on your face.

„Don’t blame me if it’s gonna be a total mess.“

„No worries,“ he stated and he lowered his face a little more. „I’ll teach you step by step.“ His body came closer as well. It actually closed that little gap between your sides as he reached for the yeast. He crumbled it into lukewarm water and told you to add some salt and sugar. It had to set for ten minutes until you could continue with the flour. And during those ten minutes you realised that his body didn’t accidentally close that gap between your sides. Eric did it on purpose and he held it there. You sensed he gave you the chance to bring some space between you again but… you didn’t want to. You physically couldn’t, just couldn’t break the contact. It was way too intriguing, almost electrifying. And for ten minutes straight, he lowered his upper body to shield your nonchalant conversation about penguins – of course – from the others.

When the yeast-water-mix was ready, his following instructions were only whispers, so you had to keep close to him. Why was he doing that?

He added the mix to the flour, along with some oil, and dug his hands in to start kneading. The way his hands applied pressure, provided by his arms, made you… look. To say the least. To be honest, it turned into a very distracting sight. Eric kneading pizza dough? Come on. You had to give in and admit to yourself that this was something you couldn’t deny being totally sexy. The arm muscle escalation, whenever he flipped the dough and kneaded in once again set off a chain of thoughts you really didn’t want to have in a kitchen full of roommates.

„Wanna try?“ Eric asked with a brief glance in your direction, luckily unaware of your current admiration for his arms.

„Nah,“ you mumbled. In hopes to keep watching his arms. You were able to do so for a few more minutes. And were entirely embarrassed when you turned around to find Christina and Tris look at you with a mischievous grin on their lips. You deserved that.

From then on you kept a good distance between Eric and you. While the dough had to rest some. Later during making the pizzas and baking them. Only twice you met eyes with him during dinner. He probably didn’t even notice. After all, why did your brain make such a big deal about it? You were certainly not playing in Eric’s league nor was there even profound reason to think about that.

You were just roommates. Former enemies going onto maybe being some sort of friends.

And then there was a knocking on your wall again. Long, long, short. Long, short. GN. You turned to your wall and foolishly smiled at it. When you didn’t respond right away, the knocking was repeated.

Just as you wanted to knock good night as well your phone buzzed. For a second your pulse quickened, wondered if it was Eric because you didn’t respond soon enough.

You fished for your phone and unlocked it. It wasn’t Eric.

you were seen today

Your heart stopped for a second and then started beating in light speed all of a sudden. You opened the chat.

was that your new lover? already got someone new whose life you can fuck up?

or did you break up because of him?

The text messages didn’t end. Peter still understood very well how to provoke and intimidate you.

ANSWER ME

Do you think I’m just gonna let that sit???

You left the chat and threw it into your sheets. It bounced with a thud up and against the wall but you didn’t care. You searched hectically for a paper but all the clothes you grabbed were empty. The phone buzzed again. First you didn’t pick it up, scared it was Peter again. Then you rummaged around your sheets to find it because maybe it was Eric this time asking what that sound was. It wasn’t Eric. Again.

you’ll regret it. believe me y/n

/////

Taglist • @longlostinanotherworld • @dosentier • @dhunhdchrih • @coryisagee

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fqirysung · 3 years

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build me up, buttercup! l.jn

buttercup, don’t break my heart.

✿ pairing: lee jeno x popular!reader ✿ genre: just pure angst ✿ warnings: small cursing ✿ notes: gender neutral!reader, intentional lowercase, reader is referred to as they/them, the reader is also a huge bitch, mostly in jeno’s perspective ✿ word count: 1.4k ✿ rating: pg ✿ author’s note: my first non-timestamp wow, why did this take so long omg. btw i felt so bad for jeno throughout this entire thing, WHY is y/n so mean TT plz dont be a silent reader and i hope u like it!!

why do you build me up then let me down?

lee jeno had been asking this question time and time again. ever since he first asked you out on a date that summer day.

contrast to his reputation today, middle school jeno was much more reserved and quiet, very shy and not having many friends. he had developed a small crush on you ever since he was seated next to you in math class. although this had it’s pros and cons, the pro being that he could see you every day, with the con being that he could never exactly pay attention in class.

although this crush had been around for ages, jeno never exactly built up the courage to act on it until the first year of high school. by now, he had gained himself a reputation of being the school pretty boy, with his infamous eye smile and being amazing out on the field, it would be a lie to say you haven’t heard of him.

when he approached you after school, stuttering and stumbling over his words, you were a bit confused, to say the least. from what you had heard, you would expect him to be an overly confident yet cocky jock who had a new little toy every other day yet here he was, struggling to even say a sentence.

“just spit it out, jeno,” you shrugged nonchalantly, tapping your foot impatiently. your friend, gahyeon and you had plans at her house later today and you didn’t want to be late. “i don’t have all day.”

jeno took a deep breath in, exhaling out before pausing. “will you go on a date with me?” he expected a cold and harsh “no.”, scrunching his face as he braced himself for icy hard rejection.

“sure,” ‘wait what’ the boy opened his eyes, relaxing himself to the response, “i mean, why not? what’s the worst that could happen.”

his face slowly contorted into a smile, his eyes turning into small crescents as he resisted jumping up and down from excitement. “r-really? cool, uh is tomorrow, 6 pm, good?”

“sure, we can meet at the cafe near school?” jeno nodded ecstatically as your phone rang abruptly, you gave jeno a small but empty smile as you turned your back on him. you didn’t see it, but jeno began to pump his fist into the air excitedly.

the next day had come earlier than jeno expected, but the school day went just as slow. seconds felt like minutes and minutes felt like hours. throughout the day, the boy was anticipating his date, his first one in a while, actually. contrary to what many people say and talk about behind his back, jeno was never really one to go on dates, always politely declining the offers he was given.

jeno sat in maths class, his eyes darting over to the clock every second as the loud ticks filled his mind, cancelling out his teacher’s words. the final seconds ticked in as the third hand on the clock got closer and closer to the second hand.

finally, a shrill ringing echoed throughout the halls and classrooms. students quickly jumped from their seats, bolting out the door to escape the classroom as quick as possible.

as jeno ran out, he began to look through the stampede of students, his eyes darting everywhere for you. there you were, in the middle of a conversation with gahyeon. he nervously approached you two.

“uh, h-hi!” he smiled, his eyes folding into crescents. you turned your head towards the boy, “oh hi jeno, what is it?”

“about our uh,” jeno cleared his throat awkwardly, “our date, it’s still on, right?” he asked, uncertain.

although you’re untrue,

“yeah of course! i haven’t forgotten, don’t worry.” the boy breathed a sigh of relief as he nodded, “okay! i’ll see you there!”

i’m attracted to you all the more.

almost an hour had passed. you weren’t there. jeno half-heartedly smiled at the waiter as the latter handed him his coffee. “uh- are you waiting for someone, sir?” the waiter asked awkwardly, pointing to the other seat.

why do you build me up, buttercup?

“yeah but i’m not sure if they’re coming.” the waiter gave a sympathetic smile to the boy, when the former headed back to the kitchen, jeno stiffly pulled out his phone, pressing a couple buttons as it began to dial a number.

baby, just to let me down?

“what is it, jeno?”

“i think they stood me up, jaemin.”

the next day, jeno decided to confront you about it. “oh i’m so sorry! i was going to go but then things happened, the car broke down and yeah.” you lied, in all honesty, you had just forgotten about the date but jeno was a sweetheart and you didn’t want to say the truth.

“it’s fine! it happens, would you be okay with rescheduling?” you perked up, you had stood up many people in your time but never did anyone try rescheduling. with a shrug, you replied, “sure.”

jeno lit up, “would my house tomorrow, at 5 be fine?” tomorrow was a weekend so he doubted there would be any problems. “yeah, of course.”

i run to the door,

an hour and a half went by, it was around 6:37 pm now and there was no sight of you there. jeno pursed his lips, before the doorbell rang. he perked up at the sound, bolting to the door. but as he opened it, instead of you being there, there was only the pizza delivery man.

i can’t take it anymore, it’s not you,

jeno’s smile fell as he sighed, he took the pizza from the man and gave him some money before slamming the door shut. “did something happen again?” he wondered out loud, falling back on the couch as he opened the box.

you let me down again.

parts of the pizza had slid to the left side, causing it to look deformed and sad. with a small sigh, jeno took a slice, taking a bite as he chewed on it emotionlessly.

the months went by like this, jeno would ask you out on yet another date and you’d agree. he’d get all ready then wait for you but you wouldn’t show up. then you’d make up some bullshit excuse.

“sorry, my dog died and my sister got really sad so i had to comfort her.

“sorry, i lost my way and my phone battery had ran out.”

“sorry, i was really behind on some assignments and had to do them quickly, or else mr. yang would have failed me and i don’t want to disappoint my parents.”

jeno was understanding and he was always willing to try again. he was starting to get suspicious though, he was a little tired of getting stood up. this has happened way too many times for it to just be a coincidence.

many wondered why jeno was still so resilient with you, why he didn’t give up and why he didn’t ever get fed up with it. truth is, he is. but he loves you, and will keep trying however long it takes.

why do you build me up, buttercup?

today, you two had plans at 8, to head over to a small restaurant nearby. jeno had come early, as usual and was on his phone, waiting patiently.

baby, just to let me down.

time passed, the other customers left as new ones arrived but jeno was still there. jeno got nervous as he sighed, he couldn’t even keep count of how many times you had stood him up, for the number would be too high.

he had called you time and time again yet it always went straight to voicemail. “hey kid, the restaurant’s closing.” a staff member approached him, jeno apologised, taking his belongings and paying for the bill.

and mess me around,

as the boy walked outside, he felt a small cold droplet land on his head. then another one and another. before he knew it, the rain was pelting at him, he let out small shivers as the coldness engulfed him.

and then worst of all, you never call baby, when you say you will.

he tried again, dialing your number but once again, voicemail. he wanted to get angry, his patience level was dropping but he couldn’t. after all, you’re not his and you never will be.

but i love you, still.

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satansjit · 4 years

Text

Reflections on the Color of My Skin

By Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

My colleague had other encounters with the law that he shared later that night, but his first story started a chain reaction among us. One by one we each recalled multiple incidents of being stopped by the police. None of the accounts were particularly violent or life-threatening, although it was easy to extrapolate to highly publicized cases that were. One of my colleagues had been stopped for driving too slowly. He was admiring the local flora as he drove through a New England town in the autumn. Another had been stopped because he was speeding, but only by five miles per hour. He was questioned and then released without getting a ticket. Still another colleague had been stopped and questioned for jogging down the street late at night.

As for me, I had a dozen different encounters to draw from. There was the time I was stopped late at night at an underpass on an empty road in New Jersey for having changed lanes without signaling. The officer told me to get out of my car and questioned me for ten minutes around back with the headlights of his squad car brightly illuminating my face. Is this your car? Yes. Who is the woman in the passenger seat? My wife. Where are you coming from? My parent’s house. Where are you going? Home. What do you do for a living? I am an astrophysicist at Princeton University. What’s in your trunk? A spare tire, and a lot of other greasy junk. He went on to say that the “real reason” why he stopped me was because my car’s license plates were much newer and shinier than the 17-year-old Ford that I was driving. The officer was just making sure that neither the car nor the plates were stolen.

Among my other stories, I had been stopped by campus police while transporting my home supply of physics textbooks into my newly assigned office in graduate school. They had stopped me at the entrance to the physics building where they asked accusatory questions about what I was doing. It was 11:30 p.m. Open-topped boxes of graduate math and physics textbooks filled the trunk. And I was transporting them into the building, which left me wondering how often that scenario shows up in police training videos.

We went on for two more hours. But before we retired for the night we searched for common denominators among the stories. We had all driven different cars—some were old, others were new, some were undistinguished, others were high performance imports. Some police stops were in the daytime, others were at night. Taken one-by-one, each encounter with the law could be explained as an isolated incident where, in modern times, we all must forfeit some freedoms to ensure a safer society for us all. Taken collectively, however, you would think the cops had a vendetta against physicists because that was the only profile we all had in common. In this parade of automotive stop-and-frisks, one thing was for sure, the stories were not singular, novel moments playfully recounted. They were common, recurring episodes. How could this assembly of highly educated scientists, each in possession of the PhD—the highest academic degree in the land—be so vulnerable to police inquiry in their lives? Maybe the police cued on something else. Maybe it was the color of our skin. The conference I had been attending was the 23rd meeting of the National Society of Black Physicists. We were guilty not of DWI (Driving While Intoxicated), but of other violations none of us knew were on the books: DWB (Driving While Black), WWB (Walking While Black), and of course, JBB (Just Being Black).

None of us were beaten senseless. None of us were shot. But what does it take for a police encounter to turn lethal? On average, police in America kill more than 100 unarmed black people per year. Who never made it to our circle? I suspect our multi-hour conversation would be rare among most groups of law-abiding people.

As I compose this, about 10,000 chanting protestors are filing past my window in Manhattan. And because of the intermittent looting and related violence, the curfew for this evening has been pushed earlier, to 8 p.m., from 11 p.m. in the preceding days. The most common placard was “Black Lives Matter.” Many others simply displayed the name George Floyd, who was handcuffed face-down on the street with a police officer’s knee on the back of his neck, applied with a force of at least half the officer’s body weight, resulting in his death. Curious irony that NFL star Colin Kaepernick offered a simple demonstration of care and concern for the fate of black people in the custody of police officers, by taking a knee during the Star Spangled Banner before football games. (One media outlet mangled the moment by describing him as protesting the national anthem.) The outrage against his silent act of concern for a national problem persisted through the 2017 season when, as a free agent, he went unsigned by any team to continue his livelihood.

So, we went from a peaceful knee to the ground to a fatal knee to the neck.

The way peaceful protesters and the press are being shoved, maced, tear-gassed, pepper-sprayed, and tackled in the streets of our cities (when the police should have focused on arresting the looters) you would think the protestors were doing something illegal or un-American. But, of course, the U.S. Constitution has something to say about it:

Congress shall make no law … abridging the freedom … of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Which amendment was that? The First Amendment. So, the founders of this nation felt quite strongly about it, empowering one to declare that protesting for redress of grievances is one of the most American things you can do. If you are the police, pause and reflect how great is the country whose Constitution endorses peaceful protests.

What do we actually expect from our police officers? To protect the peace and arrest the bad guys, I presume. But also, to be armed with lethal force that they can use when necessary. That part clearly requires training on how and when to use (and not use) the power of your weapons. The rigorous Minneapolis Police Academy training lasts 4 months. The slightly more rigorous NYC Police Academy lasts 6 months.

Yet to become a certified pastry chef at a prestigious culinary academy requires 8 months. The perfect croissant demands it. So maybe, just maybe, police recruits could benefit from a bit more training before becoming officers.

In 1991, Rodney King (age 25) was struck dozens of times, while on the ground, by four LAPD officers, with their batons, after being tased. The grainy 1990s video of that went media-viral, inducing shock and dismay to any viewer.

But I wasn’t shocked at all.

Based on what I already knew of the world, my first thought was, “We finally got one of those on tape.” Followed by, “Maybe justice will be served this time.” Yes, that’s precisely my first thought. Why? Since childhood my parents instilled in me and my siblings, via monthly, sometimes weekly lessons, rules of conduct to avoid getting shot by the police. “Make sure that when you get stopped, the officer can always see both of your hands.” “No sudden movements.” “Don’t reach into your pockets for anything without announcing this in advance.” “When you move at all, tell the officer what you are about to do.” At the time, I am a budding scientist in middle school, just trying to learn all I can about the universe. I hardly ever think about the color of my skin—it never comes up when contemplating the universe. Yet when I exit my front door, I’m a crime suspect. Add to this the recently coined “White Caller Crime,” where scared white people call the police because they think an innocent black person is doing something non-innocent, and it’s a marvel that any of us achieve at all.

The rate of abuse? Between one and five skin-color-instigated incidents per week, for every week of my life. White people must have known explicitly if not implicitly of this struggle. Why else would the infamous phrase, “I’m free, white, and 21” even exist? Here is a compilation of that line used in films across the decades. Yes, it’s offensive. But in America, it’s also truthful. Today’s often-denied “white privilege” accusation was, back then, openly declared.

The deadly LA riots associated with the Rodney King incident are often remembered as a response to the beating. But no. Los Angeles was quiet for 13 months afterward. Everyone had confidence, as did I, that the video was just the kind of evidence needed to finally bring about a conviction in the abuse of power. But that’s not what came to pass. The riots were a response to the acquittal of the four officers in the incident, and not to the incident itself. And what is a riot if not the last act of helpless desperation.

The 1989 film by Spike Lee “Do the Right Thing,” which explored 1980s black-white-police tensions in Brooklyn, New York, ends with a dedication to the families of six people. Eleanor Bumpers (age 66), Michael Griffith (age 23), Arthur Miller (age 30), Edmund Perry (age 17), Yvonne Smallwood (age 28), and Michael Stewart (age 25). All are black. One was killed by a white mob. The rest were unarmed and shot by police or otherwise died while in police custody. All deaths occurred within the 10 years preceding film, and all occurred in New York City. None of the police-induced deaths resulted in convictions, as continues to be true for 99% of all police killings.

We know of these events because they each ended in death. But even so, back then, it was just local news. Was this just NYC’s problem? I asked myself. But for every police-related death anywhere, how many unarmed victims are shot by police and don’t die, or are wrongfully maimed or injured? Most of those cases didn’t even make the local news. But if you lived there, you knew. We all knew. For what it’s worth, NYC now has the lowest police-caused death rate per capita among the sixty largest cities in the US. Is it that extra two months training in the Police Academy?

The corrosion and ultimate erosion of our confidence in the legal system in cases such as these, even in the face of video evidence, has spawned a tsunami of protests. With sympathetic demonstrations across the United States and around the world. If the threat of prison time for this behavior does not exist—acting as a possible deterrent—then the behavior must somehow stop on its own.

Some studies show that the risk of death for an unarmed person at the hands of the police is approximately the same no matter the demographics of who gets arrested. Okay. But if your demographic gets stopped ten times more than others, then your demographic will die at ten times the rate. I suppose we first have to get the bias factor down to zero, but then there’s still the matter of police killing unarmed suspects, white people included.

I talk a lot. But I don’t talk much about any of this, or the events along this path-of-most-resistance that have shaped me. Why? Because throughout my life I’ve used these occasions as launch-points to succeed even more. Yes, I parlayed the persistent rejections of society, which today might be called micro-aggressions, into reservoirs of energy to achieve. I learned that from my father, himself active in the Civil Rights Movement during the 1950s and 1960s.

In a way, I am who I am precisely because countless people, by their actions or inactions, said I could never be what I am. But what if you don’t have this deep supply of fuel? What becomes of you? Who from historically disenfranchised communities, including women, LGBTQ+, and anybody of color, are missing—falling shy of their full potential because they ran out of energy and gave up trying.

Are things better today than yesterday? Yes. But one measure of this truth is a bit perverse. Decades ago, unarmed black people getting beaten or killed by the police barely merited the local news. But now it’s national news—even breaking news—no matter where in the country it occurs.

So how to change all this? Organizations have surely assembled demands for police departments. Here, I offer a list of my own, for policy experts to consider:

Extend police academies to include months of cultural awareness and sensitivity training that also includes how not to use lethal force.

Police officers should all be tested for any implicit bias they carry, with established thresholds of acceptance and rejection from the police academy. We all carry bias. But most of us do not hold the breathing lives of others in our hands when influenced by it.

During protests, protect property and lives. If you attack nonviolent protesters you are being un-American. And you wouldn’t need curfews if police arrested looters and not protesters.

If fellow officers are behaving in a way that is clearly unethical or excessively violent, and you witness this, please stop them. Someone will get that on video, and it will give the rest of us confidence that you can police yourselves. In these cases, our trust in you matters more to a civil society than how much you stick up for each other.

And here’s a radical idea for the Minneapolis Police Department—why not give George Floyd the kind of full-dress funeral you give each other for dying in the line of duty? And vow that such a death will never happen again.

Lastly, when you see black kids, think of what they can be rather than what you think they are.

Respectfully Submitted

Neil deGrasse Tyson — trying hard to Keep Looking Up.

#neil degrasse tyson #reflections on the color of my skin #reflections #black lives matter #justiceforfloyd #blm movement #blm #support blm #science #george floyd #justice for black lives #justice for poc #no justice no peace #know justice know peace #white silence is violence #physics #amerikkka #blacklivesmatter

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gxmonth · 4 years

Text

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Month 2020

IT’S ON!

We start on August 31! I realize this may be a bit short notice for some, so I’ll be sure to get the word out earlier next year. Just do your best, take breaks when you need to, and most importantly have fun!

Draw/write/create, it’s your choice! All creativity welcomed!

Please remember to tag you posts with #gxmonth2020. If I miss a post please let me know.

And special thanks to @crystalbeastruby for creating the awesome banner!

Day 1 (August 31): “Game on!” It’s Judai/Jaden Yuki’s birthday today! Let’s celebrate!

Day 2 (September 1): “Red, Yellow, Blue!” Ah, the tier system at Duel Academy. Which dorm is your favorite?

Day 3 (September 2): “Rule the School” These kids might be saving the world, but they’re still students with homework to do and exams to pass. Celebrate the school life today!

Day 4 (September 3): “Sometimes I Can’t Believe We’re Related” 10Join! Today is all about the iconic brother-sister pair, Fubuki Tenjoin/Atticus Rhodes and Asuka Tenjoin/Alexis Rhodes!

Day 5 (September 4): “Pass The Salt” No story is perfect. So what is something you wish you could have seen in the story of GX?

Day 6 (September 5): “Going Down With The Ships!” You know what I’m talking about. We all have an armada parked in the bay, but there’s that one ship, that one ship, that you would die for. Today is all about OTPs and OT3s!

Day 7 (September 6): “Bring the THUNDER” Ichi! Juu! Hyaku! Sen! Chazz it up! Today the world does in fact revolve around Jun Manjoume/Chazz Princeton.

Day 8 (September 7): “The Power of Friendship!” Favorite dynamic duo, two characters you think would have been friends if only they met, how friendship saves the day, or maybe a friendship fail. It’s up to you!

Day 9 (September 8): “Born to be Bad” Inherently evil, brainwashed, misguided, or misunderstood. GX boots a colorful cast of villainy. Who’s your favorite bad guy?

Day 10 (September 9): Free Day/Introductions Tell us about yourself and your GX experience! Your favorites, why you like it, how you got into it. Or leave the day open to do whatever you want!

Day 11 (September 10): “Cyber Legacy” No Yu-Gi-Oh! show is complete without a pair of brothers. Today’s stars are Sho Marufuji/Syrus Truesdale and Ryo Marufuji/Zane Truesdale!

Day 12 (September 11): “But What If We Had Bikes?” That’s right! It’s time for the GX crew to rev it up on their very own D-Wheels/Duel Runners!

Day 13 (September 12): “And You Are...?” Got a favorite OC? Or one you’ve been hiding in the closet? Introduce them to the world today!

Day 14 (September 13): “The Perfect Formula” He duels with the power math and science! Today, show the world that you still remember Daichi/Bastion Misawa!

Day 15 (September 14): “Insert pun here” It’s meme day! Recreate your favorites! Make some shitposts! Be the troll you’ve always wanted to be!

Day 16 (September 15): “Creation and Destruction” The Gentle Darkness and the Light of Destruction. The eternal struggle. And also the Darkness that tried to drown the world. Huh. Feels a little unbalanced.

Day 17 (September 16): “Putting the D in Destiny” Pro duelist by day and crime fighting vigilante by night. Today is Edo/Aster Phoenix’s day!

Day 18 (September 17): “In Another Life” It’s AU day!

Day 19 (September 18): “I Was Here Too!” GX has a vast array of unique characters, some of which we only saw once. Pick a “one shot” character and show them off!

Day 20 (September 19): Free Day 2/Support Fellow Creators Show some love for your favorite creators, or leave the day free for whatever you please!

Day 21 ( September 20): “Prehistoric Predators” The dino duelist with a fossil in his leg. Today is all about Kenzan Tyranno/Tyranno Hassleberry!

Day 22 (September 21): “Stop Blowing Holes In My Ship!” Some ships are popular and some are...not. Today is all about rare pairs and crack ships! Give those underdogs some love!

Day 23 (September 22): “And For Today’s Lesson...” The teachers at Duel Academy have their work cut out for them, but they still take care of their students. Show the DA staff some love today!

Day 24 (September 23): “Legend of the Seven Gems” Resurrect the greatest light in history today with Johan/Jesse Anderson and the Crystal Beasts!

Day 25 (September 24): “For The Glory of Academia!” We got to see Asuka/Alexis and Edo/Aster over in Fusion Dimension, but what about the rest of the cast? Show us some Fusion counterparts today! What are these dorks up to and what part do they play in the war?

Day 26 (September 25): “Dream Team From Overseas” Austin O’Brien/Axel Brody, Jim “Crocodile” Cook, and Amon/Adrian Gecko. Today is all about them!

Day 27 (September 26): “Duel Monster Spirit Day!” The world of GX is full of spirits. Do something fun to celebrate your favorite!

Day 28 (September 27): “Gold Eyes in The Darkness” Today’s all about the Supreme King! Unleash the Darkness and create your content!

Day 29 (September 28): “Don’t Forget Me!” Have an underappreciated character you wish you’d seen more of? Give them some love today!

Day 30 (September 29): Free Day 3 Share anything. Anything at all. It’s free game.

Day 31 (September 30): “Gotcha!” The series ends with Judai/Jaden running off another adventure. But where is he going? Today’s the day to share your post-GX headcanons!

#gxmonth2020 #gx #ygogx #ygo gx #yugiohgx #yugioh gx #judai yuki #yuki judai #jaden yuki #chazz princeton #jun manjoume #manjoume jun #zane truesdale #ryo marufuji #marufuji ryou #jesse anderson #johan andersen

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pixcldust · 4 years

Text

STUDY DATES

ft. akaashi keiji, oikawa tooru, tsukishima kei

with | gn! reader

warnings | some swear words

a/n | self-indulgent headcanons because school is a massive headache mwah stay safe and drink lots of water babes.

AKAASHI KEIJI

one of those fuckers who can AFFORD to continue practicing volleyball constantly bc he's been studying and paying attention the whole year

so smart. so wise and responsible and logical.

will 100% be okay with tutoring you!! tbh might even suggest it when he sees you struggling

so so so patient and will put up with all your questions

yes even ur stupid ones

don't expect any romantic or sexy times.

str8 up focused on explaining concepts to you

"y/n, let go of my arm, you don't even know the different hydrocarbons yet."

ffs

watch your grades improve tho bc this man is so damn good at explaining things

idc if you're an F student or an A* student

your grades are gonna go 📈

plus if his exams end earlier than yours that day, he'll wait outside for you

leaning on the pillar with his phone out and his glasses on

PRETTY SETTER PRESIDENT REPRESENT

the personification of the dark academia aesthetic

it doesn’t really matter whether you feel like you screwed up the exam or did well bc akaashi will be there to comfort you or celebrate with you

he’s just SUCH a sweetheart HHHHHH

need me an akaashi rn 😔✊

OIKAWA TOORU

not bad, but not a straight A* student yk

ngl he looks like he'd be just okay at studies

like yeah my man is determined and smart and hardworking but he's seriously focused on vb

but he's whipped for you so ofc it'll happen

y'all are way too easily distracted LMAO

when you suggest a study date, he's like "ehhhhhh???"

you: *trying to understand how tf integration works*

oikawa: the sky is so blue and pretty today 🥰

you: yo ur right!! we should plan a picnic!!!

here's a pro tip: don't study near a window or in a cafe on your study dates

i think you'd have to have iwaizumi with you guys to ensure both of you actually study

but when oikawa is in a determined mood tho,,,

he'd be Big Brain asf no arguments taken

if he really wants something, he can achieve it

he's ✨perfect✨ like that

so good study dates would be really productive

in a you-help-each-other way

plus he thinks you’re cute as hell when you concentrate

we stan a couple who brings out the best in each other

one of those people who always want to go out after exams

"ahh y/n let’s go eat cake to celebrate finishing the maths paper!!"

"tooru, baby, we still have exams tomorrow."

he'd be a bomb ass tutor lbr

TSUKISHIMA KEI

the OG Tutor himself

the hard part is convincing him to teach you

"hey tsukki, could you help me le–"

"🤢🥱🤨 no"

and you're like "how tf did you say that out loud??"

it takes a lot of bribery and kisses and yamaguchi's help

but if you do convince him then prepare to wORk

like you have to listen well when he’s explaining a concept or problem to you

no nonsense kinda guy

but also-

i see him as a quiet romantic (no, i don't take criticism) so maybe he'd give you a quick kiss when you get something right

but he'd be embarrassed if you asked him for more HAHAHAHHAHA nerd

the kind of guy who'd whack your head with a bottle of fruit juice when you're too stressed

"don't let this stress you out so much, idiot."

before giving it to you

oof simp 💘

if you do well in your exams, tsukki's gonna take some of the credit

"I GOT AN A"

"–because of me."

yes tsukki, okAy boo, whatever you say 🙄

jk we're all whipped for this mean boy

don’t even lie

#pixcldustwrites #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq #hq!!#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #hq headcanons #akaashi x reader #tsukishima x reader #oikawa x reader #akaashi x you #oikawa x you #tsukishima x you #— hcs ; 🥢

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icyllic · 3 years

Text

Path of Destruction | JEON JUNGKOOK

PAIRING: Jungkook x Reader

GENRE: Drama, Angst (maybe???), Thriller

WARNINGS: Stalking, obsession, swearing, a little dirty talk & thoughts

WORD COUNT: 2635

*note: ↑ i came across this video and saw this comment by boogieedits (credits to parkchimn & boogieedits for the inspiration! 😍) and felt inspired by this wonderful plot! i’m inspired by the amazing video edit too! <3 i decided to give it a try and welp- truthfully i’m having writer’s block with my Full of Stars series that i might wanna take a break from it for a while until i figured what the next episode’s plot would be. for now, let’s enjoy this oneshot! 🥰 (extra note: several changes were made in this story and yes, the nickname might be a little cringy but i couldn’t think of a better pet name, so....bear with it, i guess 😅😂 also, Y/N’s angered replies are intended to have typos. i purposely did the typos in her texts bcs she was angry af :3)

The night was feeling empty. The streets were quiet and you had no idea where you were heading. You couldn’t believe that you actually managed to get out from your best friend, Suzie’s party that was filled with a lot of her drunken friends and thank God you successfully escaped, even though right now you were feeling a little tipsy due to the amount of alcohol you consumed earlier.

“Fucking Suzie,” you mumbled as you walked home. “telling me it was just a small party and she lied! Who would lie to their own friends?!” You have the habit of talking to yourself if you feel alone and that was what you were feeling right now, so alone in the streets and you were clueless. You felt the need to cry but what’s the whole point? No one was here to save you even if you did.

You were sure you weren’t dreaming or hallucinating at all but you heard footsteps were following you. As you turned around, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, seeing as there was no one. When you turned around to walk again, the footsteps were heard. “HEY!” you yelled as you aggressively turned around. “don’t you dare follow me or I wouldn’t hesitate to call the cops!” You rolled your eyes in annoyance, mumbling to yourself again to make the uneasy feeling go away.

As you finally arrived home, you were struggling to grab the keys to unlock the door. At this very moment, the keys were tricking you; purposely tangling themselves with your pocket. “Are you kidding me?! I wanna get inside, you stupid keys!” You widened your eyes when you saw your older sister opening the door for you. How was she still awake at 2 a.m.?

“You look like a horrible mess.” Michelle commented, and you scoffed while pushing her away from the door as you went inside.

“Why are you still even awake anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” You were shaking your head while shutting your eyes to avoid that tipsy feeling.

“How can I sleep when I know my little sister wasn’t home yet? I was worried sick, you moronic bitch.” She shook her head, feeling disappointed with how you acted right now.

You were feeling sleepy and tired, so you decided to ignore her and went upstairs. Before you went to your room, you heard your sister yelling, “Yeah, go ahead and ignore me just like you always do to avoid conversations with me! I’ve had enough of babysitting you, Y/N! You’re so horrible!” You slammed the door before hearing any more of her complains.

Despite feeling so tired, you couldn’t sleep at all. You took the time to stare up at the ceiling instead, filling your head with numerous thoughts. But the thoughts stopped as you heard a Ding! on your phone. You read the texts and to your surprise, it was from an unknown number.

unknown [now]: sweet dreams, twinkle toes

unknown [now]: it took me nearly four years to pluck up the courage to text you

unknown [now]: and i can’t lie, i’m having butterflies

unknown [now]: you don’t know how many times i’ve dreamed of touching you

unknown [now]: by the way, go take a shower before you sleep 🌹

“What the hell?” You got up quick and scanned the whole area in your room, worrying that person who texted you might be in there. Hiding under your bed, maybe? You didn’t know whether to text this person back or not, or to block him but if you block him now, how would you know where he got your number from? ... or how would you know whether this person was a male or a female? So you decided to just leave it be for a while and reply this unknown person’s texts tomorrow. After this dreamland taking over your world, you were hoping that these texts were just all hallucinations due to tiredness.

••••••

....except that they were not hallucinations at all. You started to feel panic when you saw the messages were still there in your message box. Now it was your turn to build the courage to reply this person back.

you [now]: Who are you and how did you get my number?

Anxiety started to form inside you. You were supposed to run some errands today but with the situation you were facing right now, you were having doubts whether it was safe to go out there or not.

Your daydream of thoughts stopped when Michelle walked in to your room. “Y/N?” You raised your head up to look at her. “you feeling better now?”

You nodded, feeling hesitated as you knew that answer wasn’t true at all. You weren’t feeling any better, even after last night for being a little drunk but with this stalker texting you??? A whole new level of creepy started to scare you. You kept wondering how on Earth this person got your number.

“I baked you some cookies, just in case you were hungry and um,” she paused for a while. “I’m sorry for yelling at you last night. I didn’t mean to.”

These words shocked you. Her apology made you give her a look of astonishment. You and Michelle have been through it all; dramas over boys, arguing over little things and never once in your life you ever heard her saying sorry to you. This was so new, she finally apologized to you for the first time in her 25 years of living.

“I’m sorry for being an irresponsible bitch, Michelle. I didn’t mean it too.” She shook her head while smiling, walking towards you and gave you a hug to comfort you. Ding! And this person appeared again, stopping you from hugging your sister.

“Whoa, who’s texting you at an exact 8 a.m.?” Michelle teased while wiggling her eyebrows. You chuckled at her silly attitude, although this wasn’t supposed to be a happy situation at all. You were already feeling terrified as curiosity started filling itself in you, wondering what that person’s text might be.

“Probably just Suzie wanting to apologize too for being a lying turd.” You shrugged it off, chuckling alongside your sister. Michelle then walked out and you quickly locked the door, opening the stalker’s message.

unknown [3m ago]: you’ll know soon enough, twinkle toes 🥰

Twinkle toes??? Who the fuck does this person think he or she is? Calling me twinkle-fucking-toes? Your thoughts started to annoy you right now. You felt the need to slam something out of frustration, but you weren’t feeling like it anymore. You were still feeling scared because of this whole situation.

••••••

“Class dismissed!” Mr. Peterson announced when the bell rang. The whole Math class felt like a living nightmare. You were feeling sleepy the whole time but your attention was drifted off somewhere else.

When you walked outside the classroom to pack your stuff in your locker, you were stopped by Adrian. Adrian, the guy you knew had a crush on you since sophomore year. He was indeed cute; shaggy hair that really matched with his bright, green eyes and had a very nice personality that could make every girl fall in love with him. Unfortunately for Adrian, you weren’t one of those girls.

You’ve been taking the time to appreciate and love yourself for several years now. Your last relationship ended because that asshole cheated on and lied to you a lot of times, leading you to have trust issues and hence the reason why you didn’t wanna give Adrian a chance too. But Adrian, being a nice guy he was, stated that he’d wait for you no matter how long it might take.

“I brought your favorite snacks, Y/N. I hope we can eat lunch together today.” Adrian showed you your favorite snacks that were hidden in his brown bag. You softly smiled at how thoughtful Adrian really was.

“Thanks, Adrian. But um, I don’t think I wanna eat lunch today. I might just head home this afternoon. I’m not up for afternoon classes.” You felt bad for lying to him. Truthfully, you just wanted to investigate more about this stalker of yours.

His face was sad, but he seemed to understand. “Oh, okay.. are you okay, Y/N? You don’t look okay.” His voice was recognized with genuine concern.

“I’m having headache, that’s all. I need rest.” You scratched the back of your neck, feeling this conversation becoming awkward already. You were uncomfortable, your negative thoughts made you feel like this was an uncomfortable conversation to participate in.

Adrian nodded as he understood why, so he patted your back gently. You didn’t see it wrong, though. He wanted to kiss your forehead, but hesitant to do so since he knew that might be wrong. It was because he knew you didn’t feel the same for him.

••••••

{8.47 p.m. with Adrian walking in the streets alone}

Adrian was listening to music on his phone as he was on his way home from his friend’s house. But eventually stopped when he felt a sudden presence behind him. He turned around and it wasn’t there anymore. He shrugged it off, thinking it might have only been his imagination.

When he was singing along with the song he was listening to, the footsteps were closer and closer and suddenly, two strong hands grabbed Adrian’s hair and pulling him to the ground, kicking him hard and punching him numerous times.

This unknown person who punched Adrian was wearing a black mask, a black hoodie and ripped jeans that matched with a pair of motorcycle boots. Despite wearing a mask, his eyes sent deep, horrendous message. “If you ever touch Y/N again, I’ll make sure to have all of your bones broken so you can’t do anything in life anymore,” he aggressively grabbed Adrian’s collar this time. “Y/N is mine and mine alone. Don’t you fucking dare come near her.” He released it roughly, spitting on the spot of the ground next to Adrian and leaving him alone as he walked away. It was an unfortunate night for Adrian, no one was there to rescue him and call for help.

••••••

{10.11 p.m. in your room}

Ding! You groaned, knowing whose message this was from. You rolled your eyes as you read the person’s texts.

unknown [now]: i’m feeling so happy right now

unknown [now]: you have no idea how happy i really am 🥰

You shook your head and scoffed whilst reading them. Who even decided to care whether this unknown person was happy or not? Definitely not you.

you [now]: Lmao do I even care if you’re happy or not though? All I know is that you’re crazy

Ding!

unknown [now]: i am crazy indeed

unknown [now]: crazy about you

You groaned in annoyance at this unknown person’s response, not wanting to reply anymore. But then as you were about to place your phone on your side table, there was another notification from that person.

unknown [now]: i’m happy because soon enough, i’ll have you in my arms. no one’s gonna rescue you from me

“What the absolute fuck?” you got up and this time feeling so angry to the point you were having typos as you typed your words in all capital letters.

you [now]: GO FUCK YOURSELF WHOSVER YOU ARE, QUIT BUGFING

ME!!

you [now]: I’M GONNA BLOCK YOU NOW, YOU CNT DO THIS TO ME

Heaving a sigh, you grabbed a pillow and stuffed it on your face, screaming as loud as you intended.

Ding!

unknown [now]: you can try blocking me

unknown [now]: but i have a lot more phones that i’ve stolen and your number is saved in every phone i keep

unknown [now]: like i said, twinkle toes. no one’s gonna rescue you and take you away from me 😉

This time as your courage was already built, you dialed this person’s number but they quickly rejected your call. You tried again and you got the same result; your call was rejected.

you [now]: What’s the matter, huh? No balls to answer my call???

unknown [now]: i’m not going to make you hear my voice yet, princess. where’s the fun in that?

unknown [now]: i’m saving it for our date soon

you [now]: Screw you, you fucking creep

unknown [now]: damn, say that again

you [now]: FUCKING SCREW YOU!

unknown [now]: i’d love to be screwed by the one and only Y/N 😍

You were scared again. Not only this person secretly got your number, but he knew your name too! This was another whole new level of creepy!

You shut your phone off, not wanting to take this conversation further with that creeper. You closed your eyes tightly to move yourself in your dreamland, and thankfully, it was successful.

••••••

{Meanwhile at someone’s place}

He watched you through the one of the screens in his room. You had no idea about this at all, but this stalker had already placed a few cameras in your house. One specific camera he always watched was outside the window of your room so he could have a clearer and nicer view of your sleeping face.

“My God, she’s so beautiful,” he said as he attentively watched you sleeping. He was playing with his fingers as his eagerness started to bloom. He was starting to feel desperate now, wanting to touch you, wanting to hold you in his arms, wanting to kiss you until you’re unable to breathe.

“don’t worry, my Y/N. You’ll be in the arms of Jeon Jungkook’s soon.” Jungkook started to smirk with the dirty thoughts of you forming in his head. He really, really, really couldn’t wait to smother you with his kisses. ....once he catches you.

••••••

The next day at school felt so weird as you found Adrian absent. Adrian wasn’t the type of a person who’d miss a day at school, but today he decided to do that. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you looked around for him. Weird. Where is he? you thought.

Ding! “Gosh, what the fuck does he want now?!” You opened to see who the notification was from, but thankfully it was from Suzie.

suzie patootie [now]: bubs, wanna hangout tonight? mum’s having a date with her 5th boyf. house is free for us girls

you [now]: Girls night, eh? I’m on

This girls’ night was all you needed to avoid feeling scared as you were right now. Sure, you were feeling brave already to confront that person through messages but you were still scared too. What if that person was watching your every move right now and you weren’t aware of it?

••••••

You decided to head to grocery store to buy some foodies and drinks for your girls’ night. You didn’t bother to head home first to take a shower since you knew that this girls’ night would be a sleepless night for you, anyway.

As you walked out from the grocery store to head your way to Suzie’s home, the footsteps were heard again. You stopped your tracks. Oh no. What if this is that person? You were standing still and the footsteps stopped too. You didn’t care and you walked forward quickly and the footsteps got faster following you from behind.

You started running and the follower chased after you so quick until he finally caught you, locking you in his strong arms.

“Don’t run away from me, Y/N,” he whispered, placing a kiss on your earlobe and you started to cry. “didn’t I say I’d have you in my arms soon?”

Before you could scream, he covered your mouth quickly and dragged you backwards with him to an unknown place while holding you tightly.

“No one’s gonna save you. You’re all mine now, twinkle toes.”

#jungkook x you #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook oneshot #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenario #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #*written

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stones-x-bones · 3 years

Text

Promise To Bind (Pt. 1)|| Mina, Nell, Bex and Frank

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @drowningisinevitable, @nelllraiser, @inbextween SUMMARY: On her way to meet Mina for their promised date at the hot springs, Bex encounters a problem. Meanwhile, Mina tries not to freak out and Nell remembers the last time she let down someone she loved. CONTENT: Domestic abuse, Drug manipulation, Sibling death mentions

Today was going to be a good day, Bex just knew it. It was getting warmer already, and she could wear her cute dresses now, even though most of the necklines plunged low enough to show off the scars on her chest. The blue summer dress Morgan had grabbed for her out of that store was comfortable, and she tried to not let it remind her of what had happened inside. And the devastating look on Morgan’s face. It was a cute dress and it deserved a better story than that. Which was why she’d chosen to wear it today, and, well, she’d picked it out specifically for this day. Mina and her were going to the Brimstone Hot Springs today, as an official second date. It seemed a little strange to Bex that this was only their second date after everything they’d already done together, but she supposed that wasn’t really their fault. Mina had had her accident only two days after they’d made their declarations to each other and then spent the entire day in Bex’s room together. She still felt warm every time she thought about it. And every time they’d done the same thing after. And especially when they’d spent Beltane-- or a few days after-- together.

It hadn’t been too long since Bex had overexerted herself and hurt that hunter, but she was feeling much better. Really. She only got bloody noses now when she used magic, and Nell’s mom was helping heal her, so that, really, was an improvement. And nothing catastrophic had happened in, like, over a week, so that was also an improvement. She’d promised Mina that they would get a week, and then go to the springs, and, well, that was exactly what they were doing. Bex had just been downtown running some errands while Mina finished work, and then she was going to meet Mina at campus. She’d worn the dress to the store because why not? It looked good on her and she wanted to make sure she felt comfortable in it in public before going to a place where she wouldn’t be able to take it off. She was even wearing the new bathing suit Morgan had helped her pick out underneath, all ready to hop in Mina’s car and whisk off to a relaxing day.

She was just pulling out her phone to text Mina she was on her way when it happened.

Frank had been waiting for the right moment. He was under a lot of pressure. Things needed to go perfectly. If he didn’t accomplish this task, then things were going to get bad. He’d been told as much not only by his own parents, but by Odelia’s as well. It was time to stop playing around. The look in her mother’s eyes had scared Frank. Odell Ochsenstein was a frightening woman, after all. Even his own father cowered under her gaze. She was a human you knew not to fuck with. And she had given Frank explicit instructions. He was to bring Odelia home. And if he couldn’t get her home in time for the signing, then things were going to get bad, and people were going to get hurt. Not just Odelia, though, really, she was the only one he cared about.

He’d followed her downtown, to the store, and waited in the alley outside. She’d been avoiding alleys, but today she walked right by it, too preoccupied with thoughts of someone else to notice him at first. Frank slunk from the shadows and she watched her jump as he reached out and pulled her in. “Odi, it’s me! It’s me, it’s Frank.”

“Frank!?” Bex exclaimed, heaving with breath. Her heart was pounding. She couldn’t help but feel the fear rising in her bones. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to talk to you,” Frank said, and hoped the urgency in his voice would be enough for Odelia to just listen to him. “You have to come with me.”

“I-- what? No. No, I’m not going anywhere with you, Frank, you attacked my friends! You grabbed me and tried to--” But Bex stopped, because she didn’t actually know what Frank had tried to do when he’d grabbed her. She tried to pull her arm from his grasp, but it was firm, and a sudden sinking feeling fell in her stomach. “Frank...let me go.”

“I can’t do that,” Frank said.

“Frank, don’t make me hurt you,” Bex shuddered. She would do it, if she had to. She would. She could. Right? She could.

“I wouldn’t try it, if I were you,” Frank said, and there was a new chill to his voice.

Bex shivered. “Frank, please, just-- let me go. You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to--”

But Frank had other plans. He reached out and grabbed her other arm and snagged them both together before Bex could even respond. She struggled, but his grip was tight. “This is for your own good,” he said, “I’m sorry.”

Bex’s heartbeat was increasing with each second. She struggled against him but his grip was tight. Just like the hunter in the alley. And then he said he was sorry, and Bex began to really worry. But before she could do anything, ask anything, Frank was lifting something towards her face and blowing it at her and a sudden drowsiness overtook her and the world went black.

Frank caught Bex as she fell. The fairy dust always did the trick. He rifled through her purse and dumped out her phone, her wallet, her keys. Then he hefted her into his arms, and slunk to the back of the alleyway and set her in his car. He’d take her far away. Maybe they could just leave this town, together. Go somewhere better. Somewhere safe. Somewhere not even her parents and their “deals” could get her.

He started the engine and pulled away, and headed down the street that led out of town.

---

It wasn’t that the day was going poorly. All things considered, Mina didn’t think it was a bad day, at least not at first. It just seemed to drag. She had wished that she and Bex could have gotten started on their date much earlier, but she’d already offered to go to her office and help one of her colleagues with one of the assignments for their actual classes, and somehow the guy had gotten started talking about vector spaces and wouldn’t stop. Usually, she might be interested in the conversation, but she was more interested in checking her phone to wait and see if Bex would text her. She was ready for Bex to text her. Maybe Mina was supposed to text her first. Maybe she was supposed to meet her somewhere. She started picking up her stuff, telling the other grad student that she needed to go as politely as she could. He huffed out a “Bye, Fitzroy,” before turning back to his work, and she headed out, leaving the maths department with her phone in her hand.

No, it wasn’t that the day was going poorly. In fact, she only expected it to get better, and it had actually been a series of really, really good days. Sure, there were still patchy, yellowed bruises around her ribs, and sure, her wrist wasn’t completely healed, either, but things were okay. She was okay! And Bex was okay, and Bex hadn’t done anything to get herself hurt recently, and Bex hadn’t left her just because they’d had sex. Not that she’d expected her to! But Mina had really only had experiences where the day after was just a day after, and nothing happened again, and, yes, that was fine, she was really fine with that, but she hadn’t wanted that with Bex. She was glad it hadn’t been like that with Bex. Bex made her feel warm and safe and comfortable, and she wanted to feel like that all the time. She was going to tell Bex that she was Fae when they got to Brimstone Hot Springs. She’d already decided. And that way she could show her, and she had to believe that it would be okay because if it wasn’t, she was just going to sink to the bottom of the water and never come out.

Mina ended up texting Bex three times while she waited by her car, rocking a bit from foot to foot as she tried to remember if she was supposed to be doing something. Bex was just going to the store, right? That’s it? Mina gave her a call, only to get the voicemail. Could something have happened on the way? Or was this maybe Bex’s way of saying that she didn’t want to go on a date without saying that she didn’t want to go on a date? No, that wasn’t what was happening. Mina didn’t think that’s what was happening. Maybe Bex was doing witchy things, since her magic was still not the greatest. Maybe she was with Nell. Maybe Mina should call Nell. Mina decided to call Nell. “Hey, hi, sorry to bother you. Is Bex with you? I-- We’re supposed to be doing something, and I can’t get in touch with her, and she’s supposed to just be at the store before we do something, and-- You wouldn’t happen to know where she is, would you?

Today was already turning out to be better than Nell had expected. Not that she’d thought it would necessarily go poorly. Just that she’d woken to the smell of her sister cooking breakfast in a kitchen that had gone too long without Bea in it. She wasn't all that sure of how long Bea was planning on staying in White Crest— no doubt she’d return to Felix in New York soon enough, but for now she was reveling in the peace that came with having Bea at home. She’d do her best to ignore the foreboding feeling of dread, and cloud of gloom that was simply waiting to fall over her, biding its time until the eldest Vural daughter left town. The rest of the day had seen Nell lingering around the house if only to hear Bea’s voice echoing through it. It felt like years since she’d had the daily reminder that her sister was alive and well, with physical proof of such a thing standing in front of her. But eventually Bea had gone to tend to something at Illusions of Grandeur, and Nell had gone to her greenhouse to pack the spare mattress away. With Bea home, it was easier to sleep in the house. Maybe she’d even manage to get by with the Aram tonight. The memory of Montgomery always tended to fade while Bea’s spirit filled its spot.

There was no reason for Nell to be nervous when she answered her phone after seeing Mina’s name flashing on the screen, not when things felt like they were actually going decently for a moment or two. But that quickly changed as she listened to the hunter’s words with growing concern, a frown drawing her lips southwards. “When’s the last you heard from her? How long has it been? No...she’s not with me.” A familiar hand felt like it was already beginning to claw its way up Nell’s throat, the darkness of a sense of impending doom making a valiant effort to stake its claim. “When was she supposed to meet you?” It wasn’t like Bex to be late in the first place- let alone without a text of forewarning.

---

As Frank drove, he periodically checked on Odelia to make sure she was still breathing and still out cold. He’d seen her using magic with that other witch, there was no doubt she would try and use it on him if she felt threatened. He just needed to get her to a safe place and then he could explain everything. The drive felt as if it took forever. He pulled off the side of the road and quickly hopped out of the car, sweeping aside the bushes he’d used to cover the tiny back road that led to his father’s secluded cabin. It rested right on the city lines of White Crest, but would be nearly impossible to track without something extra to help. He hopped back in, drove through, then hopped back out to recover the tracks.

The further he drove in, the thicker the trees got, the darker the world got. It felt ominous. Could a demon find him here? Once they crossed White Crest lines, he knew of at least one person who would be alerted. Finally, he pulled up to the cabin and parked around back, lifting Odelia out of the car and hurrying inside. He placed her on the couch, pulled up a chair, and sat down to wait.

Bex felt herself coming to and wondered, at first, if she’d passed out again. It had happened a few times recently, but something felt different about it this time. She felt groggy, stiff, and it was difficult to move. Her eyelids felt like lead even as she forced them open. A room came into view. It wasn’t one she recognized. There were plaques on the log slatted walls, a rustic fireplace with what looked like a strange deerhead over it, and, there, in a chair staring at her with what she thought was concern, was Frank.

Bex shot up immediately, but felt her stomach heave and she fell back down, grasping at her chest. “What-- Frank-- what’s--”

“Don’t try and move too fast. The dust is still wearing off,” Frank instructed. He wanted to rise from his chair and go to her, but he knew that would be too overwhelming right now. “Just, lay down. You’re safe.”

“Safe!?” Bex exclaimed, staring at him with wide eyes. “Frank you-- you jumped me in the street and drugged me!” She wasn’t sure that’s what happened, but she remembered him grabbing her and she remembered him blowing something in her face. “What-- what even was that? What did you do?” Her head felt like a bowling ball when she tried to lift it, hands clawing at her eyes to try and scrape the drowsiness away. “Take me back, Frank. I’m supposed to meet Mina. She’s going to-- they’ll look for me. You know they will. Please, just, take me back, Frank. Please.” It was all she could do, beg. Because she didn’t want to hurt him. Because she didn’t know where they were, or how they got here, or what time it even was.

---

So, Mina was trying not to panic. She thought she was doing a pretty good job of it, presently, as she listened to Nell’s words with a heavy, sinking feeling in her stomach the more that time went on. “The last time I heard from her was this morning. She was going to the store, I had to come to the school to help someone with some work, so she said she’d text me when she was ready, but that was supposed to be a while ago, and now she hasn’t--” She was panicking, just a bit, talking way too much, and Mina had to cut herself off to try and stop that. This was nothing. It was nothing. She was worrying about nothing. But that felt like a lie, and it made her sick. She drummed her fingers against the side of her car. “She’s been letting me know, before she does things, most of the time, after everything that’s happened the last few weeks, but I thought, maybe, she’d be with you? I don’t--” She didn’t know what to do, now. She felt like this was somewhere between an overreaction and a perfectly legitimate one. She’d feel stupid, sure, if she was overreacting about this, but she didn’t want to underreact. She didn’t want to not worry enough and have something catastrophic happen all because she was being inattentive and terrible.

“Am I being--” Overbearing, insufferable, clingy, “--ridiculous?” she asked quietly, not quite sure if she wanted the answer, even if it was in the negative. If she wasn’t being ridiculous, then that meant that something was wrong. She didn’t want something to be wrong. She just wanted Bex to be okay and for them to have a nice time. That was it. She didn’t want that to be too much to ask for. “I mean, her phone could have died, right? That could be-- I’m sorry if I’m bothering you for no reason, I just--” Mina pinched at the top of the bridge of her nose and clenched her eyes shut, trying to go still. “Sorry.”

Gone was any hint of Nell’s generally jesting demeanor as she let Mina speak, brows drawing closer in concern with every word that tumbled out of the other girl’s mouth. Morning wasn’t that long off, but it was still far enough away that nearly anything could have happened in the time someone had last heard from Bex. And it wasn’t like Bex to be late without a word of warning. The young witch was always texting when she thought she might run late to a lesson, and Nell couldn’t imagine it would be any different when it came to the appointments she held with Mina. “No- no, I don’t think you’re being ridiculous.” If Mina was being ridiculous by worrying after Bex, then Nell would be too. And this was only precaution, right? It was better to be safe than sorry when it came to things like this. Nell had learned that the hard way, and she wasn’t about to let Bex of all the people she loved in her life to become the next lesson. “No! No, don’t apologize. I’m glad you called. And don’t worry- I know how to find her.”

There’d been a reason Nell had asked Bex if she could have some of the younger girl’s blood, saving it for occasions just like this. “I’ve got a tracking spell that’ll tell us where she is, alright?” Her mind was already beginning to fill with the worst of scenarios. Bex wouldn’t have gone off with Kyle alone, and without warning someone, right? Just because Nell’s relationship with the werewolf had improved, didn’t mean he wasn’t dangerous. “I’ll cast it- and let you know what direction it’s taking me, and then you can intercept the course.”

---

“I can’t,” Frank said, and his voice wavered in a way that he hadn’t been expecting. He swallowed and looked at Odelia firmly. “Take you back. I can’t. I can explain everything if you just let me.”

Bex didn’t like where this was going. Any of this. This was bad. This was really bad. She didn’t have any way to contact anyone. How had she done that, in the alley, with Kyle? Astral projected? Could she do that again, here? Go find Mina or Nell or Morgan or someone to come help her. But what would she say? Where would she tell them to go? She had no idea, she’d been unconscious the whole time. She had no idea where they were. Her heart rate was increasing with each suffocating thought. She was trapped. She was trapped. Frank had taken her and she didn’t know where to go or what to do and-- had she been wrong? Was he going to hurt her? Would he hurt her? She pushed herself up with a great effort and clutched her head. “Frank, I need to go back, please. We can-- we can talk when we get back, okay? I-- I’ll listen. I’ll listen if you take me back, but I’m supposed to meet Mina, and I promised her we’d go to--” and suddenly, the words settled in her stomach like a disease, and her body heaved.

“You what!?” Frank gasped, standing so suddenly the chair he’d been sitting in toppled over. “You promised her!?” He ran his hands through his hair, paced. This was bad. This was really bad. But if he took her back, it would be worse. He knew that. He couldn’t risk that. His eyes settled back on Odelia, pale and shivering on the couch now. “Fuck, Odi…”

“It’s Bex,” she exhaled through clenched teeth, “my name is Bexley.”

Frank didn’t know what to do anymore. This complicated things. If they didn’t get out of town soon, someone would come looking for them. Someone might already be. He hadn’t planned for this. He had planned for them to stay here for at least the night. Shaking his head, he paced away, palms flat against the fireplace. “Okay, okay,” he nodded to himself, “we have to go now, then. Stay here,” he commanded and strode towards the front of the cabin, glancing out the windows. It was quiet for now. He turned to look back at Ode-- Bexley-- and knew she wouldn’t get far right now if she tried to run. Once they were safe, he could explain. He just needed her to understand that right now. “I’ll be right back.”

Bex watched Frank head into the great room. She didn’t know what he had in there, but it couldn’t be good. Stiffly, she pushed herself up from the couch and stumbled over to the windows, using each piece of furniture as support as she did, knees knocking. Fuck. They were surrounded by trees. She saw his car, across the lawn, hidden by some bushes. Where were his keys? Maybe, if she could just find them, she could take his car and run. She knew she’d never outrun him on foot. But, maybe she could lose him in the trees, if she could only get a good enough head start. A plan was forming in her head.

She was going to get out of here.

---

“RIght, okay. Right.” Mina decided that this was a good time to do a few breathing exercises. She hoped they were panicking for no reason. She really, really hoped she was panicking for no reason. “Yeah, just cast it and I can meet you there. Just-- I mean, yeah. Text me where to go.” When they hung up, Mina didn’t really know what to do other than stare at her phone and wait for a text to come in. She must have looked like a fool, standing outside her car with her phone in her hand with a panicked expression on her face. But a watched phone doesn’t ring, so she decided to just wait inside the car, fiddling with the keys in her hands. Finally, the text came in, and Mina glanced at the location before starting the car and leaving campus in a way that would have probably impressed Nell before Mina realized that she needed to drive like a normal person. Everything was probably fine, and she was probably overreacting, and she didn’t need to go too fast and get pulled over for a speeding violation because really that would just make things take even longer, and she just needed to get to wherever Bex was and make sure that she was okay and be told that she was acting silly. She felt like she was acting silly.

Nell’s text led her to an alley, and Mina parked and jumped out of the car, looking for any signs of Bex as she started walking. She saw Nell, but no Bex. “Please tell me she’s just in one of the buildings, and everything’s fine, and that we’re worrying over nothing because I worry over most things, Nell, and I really, really like being told that I’m worrying for no reason. It makes me feel better about things.”

Casting the tracking spell was nearly as easy as breathing for Nell at this point with the frequency she used it. The magic was pivotal to her bounty hunting jobs, but it also came in handy for when young witches who had a penchant for getting into bad situations went missing. While she followed the spell through an alley, she looked up as she heard Mina’s car pull in- followed by the appearance of the hunter herself. Before the witch lay the little pinpricks of almost rodent-like feet, painted in Bex’s blood. The little paws looked sharper than a rat’s foot, but not nearly as large as something like a wolf’s. Maybe something in between? They were set longer apart than most animals. Something long, and rodent-like that had decent claws. The first thing to spring to her mind was a ferret, but she brushed the thought aside as quickly as it had come, not so much caring about what tracks there were at a time like this, so much as where they were leading.

“I’m still following the spell,” Nell replied in a tone that meant business, laser-focused despite the growing dread in her stomach. There’d been such a brief moment of peace. Didn’t they deserve a few days of unimpaired happiness before shit went south again? She tried to remind herself that it was most likely her old bias, and pessimism rising in her throat. But vigilance was what kept people alive. “It’ll be alright though, okay?” she tried her best to comfort, despite hounding after the ruby trail of tracks that kept appearing before her while she followed them through the alley. Along the way a glint of reflection caught her eye, and suddenly she wasn’t so rational when it came to hoping for the better. Bex’s phone. Wordlessly, she picked the cellphone up in her hand, nothing but her own reflection staring back in the dark and cracked screen after it had been carelessly tossed aside. A new shade of darkness had fallen over their search, Nell’s jaw clenching in growing wrath as she kept after her tracking spell. “Come on- we gotta move faster.” Faster before someone hurt Bex. Faster before she found Bex’s headless body in the middle of some clearing in the forest.

---

Frank came back into the room with two large bags under his arms. Bex turned away from the window and curled her arms behind her, concealing the candlestick she’d found on the table. Just one good swing, right? And she could knock him out. Make a run for it. His keys jangled on a clip on his belt loop. If only she’d been better at levitating spells, if only they’d practiced more, maybe she could remove them without even needing to be near him. If only her stomach didn’t feel like a raging ocean, and her head like a pounding storm. She looked up at him, shivering. “Wh-what are those for?”

Frank set the bags down and looked across the room to Bexley. “Put it down,” was all he said to her. The question wasn’t important. “You won’t get far with that.”

Bex stood frozen, wide eyed. How had he known? He-- was a hunter. He probably had known her whole plan from the beginning. The way he was looking at her made her skin crawl. She wanted out of here, away from him. She didn’t know what he was going to do. Where he was going to take her. If they got too far, would they disappear forever? Would she never be able to escape him? She dropped the candlestick, but stayed put, even as he held his hand out to her. “Frank, please,” she begged one last time, throat tight, “please just take me back. I don’t want to hurt you. O-or get you hurt.” Because if Nell found him, if Mina found him, if Morgan found him, they would tear him to shreds. She knew it. And despite her fear, despite how terrified she felt, she didn’t want him dead. He clearly was just confused. He needed to just talk to her.

“Please, we can just-- go back to your place and talk. Okay? I-- I can do that. I’ll listen to you, hear you out. We just-- we need to go back, Frank.”

Frank’s eyes turned sharp and he crossed the room quickly, grabbing her wrist tightly. “There’s no going back, Bexley,” he spat. “We leave now, and never come back, or things are just going to get worse for you. If you stay here, your only option is going to be going back to them-- your parents. Is that what you want? Because they’ll come for you, Bexley,” he said sharply, “they’ll come for you and they’ll destroy anyone in their path for it.” That’s what people with deals did, after all. They destroyed everything in order to keep their power, their pride, their safety. And Bexley’s parents were at the top of that chain. He’d seen them do it before. And they were doing it again. Bexley didn’t even realize it, all the damage they’d done so far. He was living proof of it.

He pulled on her arm and dragged her over to the bags, shouldering them both. “We’re leaving,” he said firmly, and left no room for argument as he pulled them both out the front door and towards the car.

---

Mina looked at the cracked phone in Nell’s hand and felt her stomach sink. She popped the boot of her car and grabbed a set of throwing knives to strap to her thigh along with a much longer, far more wicked looking knife to attach to her belt. If there was trouble, she wanted to be prepared. She was trying so hard not to panic, but it was there, hanging around in the back of her throat, nearly making her sick with it. No, no, she couldn’t do that. She had to be strong, she had to be okay. She had to shape up. She had to. Mina was trained to be calm under pressure, to be brave and collected in the face of danger. She wasn’t in danger, but someone that she cared about was, and that was all that mattered. She steeled herself. She was ready to fight, if need be. She looked over to Nell. “Do we need to walk or would it be faster for me to drive? Can you still track that way?”

Following suit, Nell made the hiding spaces her knives were easily accessible, shouldering her jacket off and throwing it into the back of Mina’s car. This way her summoning sigils would be a touch away as well, the tattoos dark against her skin. For good measure she summoned her own set of more delicate knives from the space where they sat in her room, the throwing knives momentarily glinting in the sun along with Mina’s. Normally she would have loved to take preference with the other girl when it came to their weapons, but now wasn’t the time. “If you can see the tracks from your car— driving’s fine.” It was part of the reason she’d always stuck to her motorcycle. The details of groundwork were much easier to follow while you were nearly on top of them. “But if you can’t…” There were always the hellhounds. But Mina hadn’t reacted all that well to them. “I could call Shaggy back.” Maybe her aversion wouldn’t matter in the long run. Maybe Bex’s safety would take priority as it did for Nell. Or maybe Mina simply had better vision and would be able to see from her car.

---

The air around was cooler than Bex thought it might be, on a supposedly warm spring day. Was it getting close to night? She squinted to try and see the sun through the trees, but the heavy fog seemed to have settled around the cabin obscured her vision and she shivered. She could feel it, the magic that coated this place.

The further that Frank pulled her from the cabin, the more sick she began to feel. She didn’t understand what was happening. Her body drooped like lead and Frank had to stop to pick her back up. Suddenly, another idea formed.

After he helped her stand back up again, she made a show to make herself look as if she were dizzy, getting sicker, letting her head loll around as he pulled her towards the car, a low groan in her throat. He looked back to check on her, about to ask her something, and that’s when she let her entire body go limp. Both of them tumbled to the ground, Frank crying out as he was yanked down by her. Just like she thought, he let go just in time to keep himself from landing on top of her and potentially crushing her with his own weight and the weight of the two bags. He was calling her name, fumbling with everything in his arms. She peeked one eye open and as soon as he turned around to set the bags down, she kicked a leg out into the back of his shins and watched him crumple to the ground.

She scrambled at the leaves and dirt and pulled herself up, feet already moving against the ground. Her shoes-- fucking sandals, of course-- flew off her feet as she fought to find more purchase on the wet, foggy ground. She bolted as fast as her stupid, jello legs would carry her, the heaving in her stomach fighting against her. For her. She needed to get back to Mina, that was all she knew. She had no idea which way to run, but she had to get away from Frank.

He was calling after her now, yelling. He sounded scared. He sounded mad. She didn’t care. She ran past bramble and brush and angry trees reaching down to claw at her, until her foot caught a root and she tumbled, head first, down the side of a hill. It felt like she had been falling forever, gasping for breath. When she finally came to a stop, splashed face first in a pool of mud and leaves, she stayed still and listened, panting. Was he close? Did he hear? Oh, fuck, her leg hurt. Her ankle. She looked down at it, but it was covered in mud. And so was her dress. Ruined. She felt stupid for letting that get to her as she backed up against the hill and hid under a fallen tree. Someone would come for her, right? Someone would come for her, like in the alley, with Kyle. She had to believe that. But, until then, she had to keep going. She had to get away.

Frank should’ve known this was going to happen. He should’ve known. She was too far under the fae’s spell. She would fight to get back to her. She was...lost. He scraped the tears from his eyes and continued his search. There, up ahead, a snapped branch. He followed it along to a hillside. She’d been through here. He slid down the hill easily, his natural athleticism giving him an advantage a normal human could never have. Her magic couldn’t save her here, he knew that much. If he could just get to her before the fae, then maybe he could help her. There wasn’t much time left. There were three competing forces searching for her, and he had to be the one to find her first.

---

“We don’t know where we’re going,” Mina murmured. The little tracks that they were supposed to be following were clear to see from her car, she could tell, but… if they ended up going through the woods, there would be absolutely no way for Mina to drive. Her car was not built for going off-road. She gave Nell a sharp nod. “Call-- call Shaggy,” What a strange name for a hellhound. “He should move faster, anyway.” She looked at Nell, who looked just as ready to go to war as she did, and she wondered just what they were about to get into. Something had clearly gone wrong. She didn’t know what, and she didn’t know how, but it had. She’d go to a hell dimension for Bex, though, and it was clear that Nell would, too. That made her an ideal hunting partner. It was always best to go into life or death scenarios with someone whose goal was aligned with your own, and she and Nell were on the same page: find and protect Bex, no matter what cost. “Whatever gets us to her fastest. That’s what we’re doing, okay?”

Nell nodded along with Mina’s decision, not having time to truly appreciate the flash of approval she felt rising in her chest. She knew Mina would protect Bex the same way she would. Besides- it would only make things easier to have the hellhounds already summoned in the first place if it came down to a firefight. “You’ll take Shaggy,” she began. The hellhound was large, but she’d never tried to put two people on him. “-and I’ll take Scooby.” The names sounded a little foolish in a setting such as this, but she wasn’t going to linger on them. Biting the scabbed bit of her thumb, she ran the blood that came out of it over one of her tattoos, speaking a quick word of Latin. In the next moment the two hellhounds had appeared before the pair of girls, tails wagging as they were eager to be of use. They knew they’d get a nice meaty and fleshy meal providing they did well. “Do you want help up, or do you got it?” Hellhounds didn’t exactly have the most obvious of handholds, and she wasn’t sure if Mina would need the confidence boost getting onto one. Her fingers fiddled with a knife impatiently as she waited for an answer, knowing every second wasted was another potential cut against Bex’s skin.

---

Exhaustion and sickness and mud were sticking to Bex’s skin, weighing her down. Her magic couldn’t help her here, not even Nell’s ready made spells could. The bracelet was snug on her wrist, but she knew she didn’t have the energy to perform them. Nell had been very adamant to let her know that they took her own energy, her own force, to complete the spell. And with how much her arms shook and her legs rattled, she knew she didn’t have the energy for them. She just needed to keep moving. She needed to keep going. Eventually, she’d find something, right? She’d never been in the forest alone before. Her parents had never let her even think about going into it. For good reason, she now knew. Their isolation had also been her protection. Feet slipped as she limped past a log, clutching onto the wood with muddy hands, leaving behind prints she barely even noticed. She wanted to cry, but that, too, would waste too much energy. She needed to find a road, a house, a river-- something. She hated these woods.

Frank was getting closer, he could tell. She wasn’t trying very hard to cover her tracks, but she was moving at a pace a lot faster than he’d thought she’d be able to. They were still within the confines of the spell on his father’s cabin, but if she went too much farther, she’d breach the edge and make it that much easier for others to find her. He picked up his pace, pulling out his knife, as he cut through bushes to get to her faster.

But, suddenly, the trail went cold. No footprints, no snapped branches. Either she’d gotten smart, or she was hiding somewhere nearby. The low hum of the woods sung in his ears and he closed his eyes, trying to hone in on any noise that wasn’t natural. Crunching leaves under a deer’s hooves, birds scraping talons against tree branches, wind whistling through bark and broken branches. He opened his eyes again, glanced in a circle, and he started on his way again. He would find her. And he would save her.

Bex was pressed as far up under the overhanging rock as possible. She felt water trickling down from above it and dripping on her shoulder into one of her cuts, but her hands stayed pressed against her mouth and nose, quieting her breathing. He was so close. She could hear his boots crunching on the leaves outside. Her eyes screwed shut and she inhaled, holding her breath. Seconds passed, and then more-- she needed to breath-- and then he was moving again, and his bootfalls got quieter and Bex let out the longest exhale she had in a long time. Tears finally pooled in her eyes as she leaned back against the rock.

Of all the horror that White Crest had shown her, this was the most terrified she’d ever been. Not even Kyle compared.

She sniffled and wiped her tears away, smearing mud on her cheeks, pushing away, out from under the rocks. Limped off in the opposite direction she’d heard Frank, when other footsteps-- heavier footsteps-- echoed through the trees. Her heartbeat raced again and she ducked behind a pile of dead trees, wishing with all her heart and all her soul, that she’d have the strength to keep going on.

---

“Shaggy, right.” Mina didn’t even have time to stare at the creatures with apprehension (she’d taken down hellhounds before, but never by herself, but she could see the weak spots-- she needed to stop that), just steadied herself even further. “I think I’ve got it.” It couldn’t be any more different than climbing without a harness, and she’d done that before. The hellhound was tall; she imagined it was probably like riding a bike, if the bike was giant and demonic and canine in nature. She grabbed a few tufts of fur and hauled herself up, patting the creature gently as she got settled, hoping he wouldn’t get upset with her and throw her off. This wasn’t bad, except for the fact that she would be absolutely terrified to be riding such a large creature that really was incredibly dangerous if she wasn’t so focused on what they were supposed to be doing. She could clearly see the tracks, even from the hellhounds back, and she looked over to Nell as the smaller girl climbed on her own hellhound. “You lead. I’ll be on the lookout in case… in case.”

Nell didn’t wait to see if Mina would second-guess her decisions, climbing on Scooby while she let Mina get situated. “Alright, guys- you know the drill,” she murmured to the pair of hellhounds who wasted in time following the blood trail that continued before them, hoping they’d get some blood for themselves at the end of it. Nell went first with Scooby, Shaggy hot on his brother’s heels as the overgrown dogs picked up the trail. Soon enough ferret footprints turned into tire marks, leading along the road until it led into the outskirts. The tire marks were enough to quell any of Nell’s Kyle-related concerns. If he’d hurt Bex it would have been wolf prints she’d be following. No— this reeked of a human crime. Or at least someone that would drive a getaway car. Heart in her throat, Nell reminded herself that Miriam was retired. Killing Bex wasn’t on the bitch’s list anymore...right? Right? Fuck- they needed to find Bex now.

The hellhounds paused for a moment at the edge of the road, the tracking spell disappearing into nothingness where the road forked. Something was keeping her magic from finishing its job, but thankfully she had something better now. Swiping a bit of Bex’s leftover blood from her vial, she held it to Scooby’s nose, letting him take a long whiff before the hound was off again. They were getting closer. Nell could feel it, almost as if she could feel Bex calling out to her. If only she could tell Bex that they were coming. To just hold on for a little longer, and let them get there.

---

If she closed her eyes and listened closely, she could hear two sets of heavy footsteps. Bex didn’t know what that meant. Did he have friends? Were they out here looking for her, too? Or was it just something else? Something else that the terrible forests of White Crest had conjured? Maybe, if she was lucky, they could run into Frank, first, and distract him. She hated that she was hoping for him to get mauled by whatever animals were stalking through this forest, but it was better him than her, right? Her chest was still heaving and her foot was in so much pain. But she needed to keep moving. She needed to keep going.

Adrenaline rushed through her veins and she pulled herself back up once the footsteps passed, crawling on her hands and knees for a moment. Wherever she was, it didn’t look any different from everywhere else she’d been. She was nearly ready to just collapse and give up. She was so tired of fighting and running. Her arms were shaking, her legs felt like chains dragging behind her, her head was throbbing, and if she’d actually eaten anything that day she was sure it would’ve been on the forest floor by now, laying in a pool with dead leaves and dried sticks and thick mud. She dug her hands in and put her forehead to the ground, muffling the sound of her sob as she let one slip out. But she couldn’t give up now, she just couldn’t. She would keep going because she had people to fight to get back to now.

And then, like a beacon through the haze, a voice. A familiar voice. A voice she’d been so longing to hear, she wondered if she might be hearing things.

“Mina…?” her own voice was small, strangled. Still afraid Frank was nearby, and that he might hear. But, no, it came again. And there was another. “Nell…?” A little louder this time. She clawed her way up using a nearby fallen tree for support. She drew in all her energy, all her breath. “Mina!?” she croaked, and heard it echo through the trees, and hoped it really was her. “Mina, I’m over--”

Frank had gotten to higher ground, having climbed a tree, surveying the lands. They had hunting pads up in most of the bigger trees around, him and his father had put most of them up while he was still just a boy. He remembered sitting in them for hours, watching creatures go by. Learning how to shoot them from afar, or drop in on them from above.

This time, he was not looking for prey, even if it felt like he was. She was running from him, and if he didn’t get to her first, this forest might. Or her parents, or that fae.

He spotted her, crawling out from under an overhang. He went to jump down when he, too, heard the footfalls of creatures. Large and hulking, running fast. Beasts. He leapt from his post to a nearby tree, moving effortlessly through it, on to the next. He was not a large man, more lean and dexterous than most other hunters. But wardens needed speed, they needed agility, over raw brute strength, and his family prized him for his.

He dropped down right behind her, scooped her up, and threw a hand over her mouth. She struggled uselessly.

It was too late, the beasts-- and rider’s atop-- had found them.

The iron knife in his hand burned. He knew what he had to do.

#chatzy #wickedswriting #chatzy: mina #chatzy: nell #promise to bind #drug manipulation tw #domestic abuse tw #sibling death tw #:----------)#just a very nice sweet soft chatzy for the afternoon #nell #mina #frank

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all1e23 · 4 years

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Lemon Pancakes [One-shot]

Summary: Mother’s Day in the Barnes house has changed over the years.

Warnings: N/A Unless you count a disgusting amount of fluff to be a warning.

A/N: Sooo... this came out of nowhere, but it’s grown-up Leo. He’s twenty-fourish (math is hard) and working as an RN. None of the kids are living at home in this one-shot.This is just Beck and Leo in this one-shot and no Bucky. Thank you to my beautiful @moonbeambucky for looking it over for me. If you have not read the series Astrophile, THERE WLL BE MAJOR SPOILERS.

Catch up on the series here!

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!*

Mother’s day 2047

It was the first Mother’s Day in, God, Y/n can’t remember how long it’s been, twenty-five years? Yeah, that sounds about right. The first Mother’s day in twenty-five years that she’s had to spend alone. Of course, the last time she spent this day alone, she didn’t have three beautiful children and a loving husband. It was merely another day amongst the rest that had seemed to blend together. Then she met Orion and Bucky. Suddenly, it was no longer ‘just another day’ and it became one of her most favorite days of the year. Still is, despite waking up to an empty house this morning.

Bucky hadn’t wanted to leave her home alone this morning. He tried everything he could to get out of work, but he couldn’t find anyone to cover his shift. On top of working the entire day leading up, they needed Bucky to fill in for someone else for half the day, and her kids?

Well, they are all grown up and have lives of their own.

Orion is in California, something they all had to get used to long before this morning. It wasn’t so bad. Flights aren’t awful and they are making use of their frequent flyer miles. Leo took it the hardest. They make it work. Whatever it takes for Orion to be happy and she’s the happiest she’s ever been. They have Theo to thank for that. So, California isn’t so bad. Since she can’t be there in person, there was a sweet text from Orion, when Y/n woke this morning and later that night they have a FaceTime date after Y/n’s Mother’s Day dinner this evening at someplace the kids picked out as a surprise. Cassie’s classes are taking a lot out of her semester, and after listening to her apologize for nearly an hour, Y/n told her daughter to stay home and get some studying in before they meet at six. Despite the agreement, Cassie made sure to shower Y/n’s social media with more posts than necessary to show her affection for her mother.

As for Leo, well, he had been tight-lipped about his plans for this morning. Y/n suspects it’s because of a pretty girl, but she would wait for Leo to come talk to her about whatever has been keeping him so busy, a girl or not. He always does.

Y/n slowly peels herself out of bed to shower and throws on an old pair of jeans and loose-fitting white scoop neck shirt. No need to dress up today. Her only plans consist of those large comfy pillows piled on the couch and one of her books. Maybe Star Lore. It’s one of her daughter’s favorites afterall. Y/n reaches the bottom of the stairs, and she comes to a halt when she spots the tall, dark-haired man standing at the stove.

This is unexpected.

Leo peeks over his shoulder when he hears the squeaky stair and grins at the sight of his mother’s shock. “Mornin’, mama. Pancakes should be ready any minute. Got you some tea, or there’s a pot of coffee ready if you want it.“

"I– Morning, baby.”

Y/n’s gaze shifts from her son to the kitchen island where her galaxy mug is resting, along with two place settings and a huge bouquet of pink star lilies. She sits down at the counter and grins at the flowers in front of her. There’s a card that she will read later because Leo can sometimes get a little shy when he’s in the spotlight like that. One thing he does not share with Cassie. Leo flicks the stove off and turns around to stack two fresh lemon pancakes on her plate, Y/n eyes her son carefully as he sits down beside her.

This has Bucky written all over it.

“Did your father put you up to this?”

Leo chuckles but shakes his head.

“No, dad mentioned he had to work till noon because of some extra shift when I talked to him yesterday, and I didn’t want you home alone. I hate when you have to sit here all alone on a normal day, so I wasn’t about to let it happen today.”

He leans over the small between them and presses a kiss to her cheek. Y/n smiles and strokes his scruff covered cheek affectionately.

“My sweet boy. Always looking out for me.“

Leo groans at the soft tone in her voice but keeps his smile. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“I won’t say a word,“ Y/n chuckles. Leo’s teasing her, and she knows that. Leo’s never minded anyone seeing his affection for her or his sisters. He loves his family and doesn’t care who knows, something he learned from watching Bucky love on his family over the years.

“So.” Y/n tests as she picks up her fork.

“So,” Leo repeats, cautiously.

“How’s work? Oliver mentioned something to Steve about some girl you’ve been gushing about non-stop.”

"Ollie is a dead man,” Leo grumbles under his breath and drops his fork to his plate, “Ma. No. She’s… I don’t– We are just friends. Let’s talk about you today. Meet anyone new? Take anyone out on a date? Do I get two Christmases? Let me be the one to break it to Cassie. She won’t handle it well.“

Y/n snorts and shakes her head. “You really want to hear about my last date? Well, we were going to go to dinner, but you know your dad. We never made it out the front door–”

With his own joke turned back around on him, Leo shudders and quickly shakes his head, regarding her with pleading eyes. “Please, no. Don’t. It’s bad enough you guys are all over each other all the time. I don’t want to hear about it.”

“That will teach you to tease your mother.”

“Trust me, it won’t happen again.”

Leo jabs his stack of lemon pancakes with his fork and tilts his head to the side, staring at the cup of coffee in front of him with a furrowed brow. Y/n lets him sit like that for a while before she steps in and ensures nothing more serious is going on.

“You okay sweetheart?”

His head jerks up at the sound of her voice, and Leo smiles, “Yeah, mama. Just thinkin’.”

“About the girl, you most certainly don’t have a crush on?”

Leo makes a face, showing a playful defeat and hangs his head.

“Yeah, I might be thinking about her.”

Y/n leans back against her chair and waits, letting him come to it in his own time. He’s a lot like Orion in that way, and they both get it from Bucky. No one can push them to say what’s in their head or on their hearts.

“If, uh, let’s just say there’s this girl. She’s smart. So smart, mama and God, is she pretty. Ballsy and has a quick wit. I’m pretty sure she only sees me as a friend, and I’ve been tryin’ to show her she’s not just some girl. I want her to be the girl. I don’t know. I get around her, and I don’t know what comes over me. Maybe I’m missin’ the mark ‘cause I don’t think she even sees me.”

Leo looks over at his mom, and she grins. His face heats up, and he clears his throat, awkwardly stuttering, “I mean, hypothetical… if that was somethin’ that was happening. To Ollie. Not to me… What, uh, what would you tell him?”

Y/n leans forward and covers Leo’s hand with her own. “Ollie? You mean the same Ollie that has been in love with Ariel Tucker since he was seven years old and proudly announced he would marry her one day? If he was struggling to admit his crush?”

He grinned sheepishly and nodded.

“Uh, Yes?”

Y/n had to hold back her laughter. Okay, if he wasn’t ready to admit she wouldn’t force him.

“I guess I would tell him… I would say don't worry about her noticing you. She sees you, sweetheart. You’ve got my eyes and your daddy’s charm. Not the mention that kind heart you wear on your sleeve and give so freely. Trust me, she sees you. Tell her how you feel. Tell her everything you told me.”

Leo’s brow furrows. “That’s it? Just tell her?”

“Surprisingly simple, isn’t it?”

Y/n grins.

“Ask her out, baby. Make sure she knows it’s a date and be very honest with her.”

“You mean Ollie ask her out?”

Y/n smiles.

“Yes, tell Oliver I said, tell her how you feel before she thinks you don’t feel anything at all.”

“That what dad did?”

Y/n snorts and gives his hand one last squeeze before letting go. “Let’s just say if we both had been more direct, you probably would have been born a few months earlier.”

Leo cringes and waves his hands back forth to stop any further talk of… this. “Gross. Please stop.”

She can’t help but laugh at her son’s unenthusiastic response. He drops his hands into his lap and stares up at the ceiling, whispering, “You, uh, you really think it will be that easy?”

“I have a feeling about this one, sweetheart. Trust me.”

He does trust her. The same way the girls do. The same way they all trust Bucky. Leo drops his gaze and meets her eyes, cracking that charming Barnes grin and asks, “I know everyone isn’t here, and Ollie’s girl trouble took up most of breakfast but is it a good Mother’s Day mornin’, mama?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. It was a perfect morning.”

#Beck and Leo #Astrophile files #Astrophile series #bucky barnes x reader #alternate universe #no longer single dad AU

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seigephoenix · 3 years

Text

Count ‘Em

Ship: Goro Takemura x Female!V Rating: E for explicit so no minors need to be interacting with this post, Trigger Warnings: spanking, slight choking Length: 1.7k A/N: I got inspired by that Anon Ask from earlier and it got me thinking about what Takemura would do if V smacked his ass. The result is. Well, V was able to sit down normally after two hours. I wanna tag @silhouette-of-a-dream and @dngrs-untld-hrshps-unnmbrd because we all thirst over this man in Discord.

V was startled awake by the sound of cursing in her kitchen. She ran a tired hand over her head as she struggled to clear the cobwebs from her mind. Goro’s voice reached her as he grumbled in Japanese, from what she could pick up it was about the state of her fridge. She sat up and stretched with a sleepy chuckle, letting the tank top strap fall off her shoulder as she threw her legs over the side of the bed.

“You really let a suit in your place?” The disgruntlement was clear from across the room as Johnny lounged in the window seat. His head leaned back against the wall with his aviators keeping his eyes hidden. V already knew what she’d see. The clear annoyance about her relationship with ‘a suit’ as Johnny loved to call him.

“And into my bed.” She taunted him as he flipped her off from his spot. “What’s the matter Johnny? You mad I fucked a suit?” He snorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

“S’long as he doesn’t betray us.” Johnny’s way of conceding that perhaps Goro wasn’t as bad as he thought. “Remember V. Once Arasaka, always Arasaka.” V didn’t share the sentiment but agreed to be cautious. They shared the same brain and body now; she would take his concerns seriously. “All I can ask.” His head turned towards the window and V turned towards the kitchen.

Goro stood in front of the stove in her kitchen, looking completely out of place. He wore his dark slacks, white button up that hung open with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He uttered a few choice words as he took the skillet off the stove. V’s eyes trailed down his back to his slim waist. The urge was there. V’s fingers itched to do it.

“Don’t do it. Bad idea V.” V jerked her head to the side to see Johnny sitting on her counter. V arched an eyebrow and Johnny tapped his temple. “Same fucking brain remember. If you want to do it, be my guest. I’m not gonna stick around to see the consequences.”

“Fine by me.” V stuck her tongue out at Johnny before he disappeared with a chuckle.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn ya V.” V turned to Takemura who was still grumbling about her lack of nutritional sustenance. At least that’s what she assumed he was saying. V crept closer and the floor creaked.

“V? Is that you?”

“Yeah. Good morning.” His smooth chuckle had V smiling at the back of his head. The urge was still there and V had a second to debate the consequences. In the end, she decided to give in. Consequences be damned. V raised her hand and swung it hard.

The crack reverberated through the room and V froze. The weight of what she’d just done hit her with the force of a cyberpsycho. Oh no. V backed up a few steps as Goro turned slowly to face her. His face remained neutral which only added to the dread growing in her stomach.

“V.” Just one syllable. Yet her stomach twisted at the dark promise in Goro’s voice. She pivoted on her heel and dashed out of the kitchen.

“I’m sorry!!!” The words followed her up the stairs to her room.

“Really V? Running up the stairs? What are you? Some dumb bimbo in a horror movie?” Johnny’s snark wasn’t lost on her and she gave him a single rude gesture before she bolted to the bedroom with Johnny’s laughter chasing her heels.

The creak of the stairs never sounded so ominous as V pressed her back against the wall by the door. She’d wait until he was in the bedroom then bolt. Her heart thundered in her ears as she heard his footsteps approach. Heat and nerves tangled together in her stomach at the thought of being hunted like this. Her body was tense and ready for anything.

“V. Do you intend to play these games today?” A heated shudder went through her body at how close his voice was. Molten desire throbbed between her legs at the thought of what he’d do. Most feared merc in Night City…

V screeched when a hand reached through the door and grabbed her arm. “I have you now.” The world tilted upside down as she was slung over a broad shoulder. Goro’s hand came down with a harsh crack over her barely covered ass cheek. Pain radiated outwards as she shrieked.

“Put me down!” V’s demand was answered with another swift smack. She let out a frustrated yowl as Goro headed straight towards the bed. He unceremoniously dumped V onto the mattress before caging her in with his body. His hand came up and gently grabbed her throat, tilting her face up towards his. His hair hung around his face as he leaned down until his nose brushed hers.

“You need to be punished for that V.” Ever the smart ass, V wasn’t going to let the dark threat in Goro’s eyes stop her this time.

“What are you going to do? Spank me?” His eyes widened but she saw the moment the idea took. Oh no. The risk I took was calculated but boy am I bad at math.

“What a fine idea. You have my thanks V.” His lips curved into a wide smirk as V shook her head in denial. He leaned back before grabbing V and yanking her off balance. Her hands reached out and stopped her from falling ungraciously to the floor as her body stretched out across his lap. Her ass was raised in the air from the angle Goro had her across his lap.

“I already said I was sorry!!! You don’t have to do this.” V turned to look up at him but she knew that look on his face. The set of his jaw, the way his eyes stared calmly down at her. There was no talking him out of this one.

His hand reached down, letting his fingers brush against her lips. His thumb pressed down on her plump bottom lip, slipping inside her mouth. “Make sure to count them V.” She knew when she was defeated. She nodded and he nodded. “Good girl.”

She braced herself but the sting still smarted when his hand came down for the first strike. V gritted her teeth but managed to count out the slap. She hissed out a breath at the second one which quickly morphed into a moan when Goro’s fingers brushed against her throbbing clit through the panties. Heat pulsed through her body as his fingers massaged the sensitive bud through thin cotton. Her thighs tensed seeking more friction before his hand slipped away and another harsh smack landed on her cheek.

“Fuck.” V hissed as his hand reached around her throat, lifting her easily until his lips brushed against the shell of her ear.

“How many was that V? If you lose count we will start over.” Her throat burned along with her slick heat.

“Three.” She managed before he released her throat. She dragged in air before his hand came down again. “Four.” Her ass was starting to go numb from the force. The sharp tingling spread down the backs of her thighs. Goro’s hand reached between her legs tugging the cotton covering her aching core aside.

“Are you a masochist V?” She protested the very idea but he slipped two fingers inside her. “Hmm.” V groaned as his fingers curled inside her body. “Are you certain in this answer?”

“Fuck.” Her back arched at the spike of heat in her body. The heat and pleasure coiled tight between her legs as his fingers played her like a master.

“Would you like to cum V?” V whined as his fingers stopped inside her body. “Answer me.” She groaned and turned to look up at him.

“Yes. Yes I wanna fucking cum.” She was so frustrated. It was a fine edge as he smirked down at her.

“Then.” Goro easily lifted V until she straddled his lap. Heat rose as his straining bulge pressed against her sopping pussy. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he reached between them and freed his cock. V groaned as he pressed the tip against her body. “You’ll do it yourself.”

“Goro.” V groaned but he merely gave her a steady look. The whining protest was on the tip of her tongue but she knew he wouldn’t accept it. V lowered her hips, slowly easing his stiff cock inside her. The burn was almost painful as she was fully seated on his lap. “Fuck.” She felt so full, her body tingled where he was buried inside her. She yelped when his hand reached up and smacked her ass.

“You’re not going to orgasm by sitting still V.” She groaned before rolling her hips against his. Each drag of his cock along her sensitive walls had the tension coiling tighter between her legs. His fingers dug into the soft curves as he guided her until the angle hit that spot inside her.

His teeth scraped across her throat as V’s hips ground against his. He soothed the sting with his tongue as he began meeting her movements. V’s soft cries bounced off the bedroom’s walls as he felt her body clenching around his cock. “You have my permission V. Go ahead and fall. I will catch you.”

The whispered words sent a heated shudder through V but it was enough. Her orgasm wasn’t a torrential wave but a slow languid flow through her body. His groan was music to her ears as she felt his cock pulse inside of her. Her nails bit into his shoulders as her body warmed with her orgasm. Goro’s lips crashed against hers as the heat slowly ebbed in her body. Her breathing was ragged when he leaned back to stare down into her eyes.

“Rest. I will bring your breakfast here.” V nodded sleepily as he shifted her back onto the bed. He leaned down and brushed a kiss across her temple, caressing the back of her head with his hand. V watched as Goro’s back disappeared around the corner.

“Oh you fucking deserved that. Ass stinging yet sweetcheeks?” V growled and threw the pillow towards Johnny.

“Shut up you smug bastard!”

#cyberpunk 2077 #takemura goro x v #goro takemura x v #takemura x v #takemura/v #johnny is such an ass in this one #but i love it

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charincharge · 4 years

Text

Cruel Summer, Part 1

cruel summer masterlist

AN: It’s here. Idk what the posting schedule will be like, I have no idea what my writing schedule will be like, but... I think it’s gonna be 25ish chapters? Maybe? Who knows. It’s gonna be fun, I think. I hope. Looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts. Alright... without further ado...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rowan Whitethorn is having a really horrible day. Not just the kind of bad that he can shrug off, but the kind that seeps through his skin and sinks into his bones, that permeates even the smallest thing, turning everything into a giant annoyance.

First, he missed his alarm, so his grumpy manager, Lorcan, has been even grumpier with him since he pulled through the gates of Ashryver Playland this morning. The amusement park job is less than ideal. Rowan hadn’t planned for his summer to be taking tickets and cleaning up melted ice cream cones from sweaty-faced teens – but it was the only place that called him back, and he doesn’t come from the type of family that can afford to pay his rent. So unless Rowan had wanted to spend the summer in his mom’s unairconditioned apartment, dodging set ups with her mahjong circle’s daughters, this was his only option.

It's nearly 3PM, and Rowan still hasn’t been able to take his lunch break. He knows that’s adding to his bad attitude. Rowan has a tendency to get hangry, or so his coworker Fenrys tells him. And because he was in a rush this morning, he forgot to pack his lunch. Which means he’ll have to spend money buying overpriced crap at the park.

Rowan’s also on trash duty today. Which means he gets to spend the whole day circling the park grounds with a giant broom and pan and pick up the fallen bits of funnel cake and popcorn and soda cups and dump them into the closest trash. Then, once those are full, he gets to haul the heavy bags of stinking trash all the way to the back of the park where the dumpsters are. It’s pretty much his worst nightmare. Though Rowan isn’t opposed to physical activity, he’s not super fond of smelling like rancid garbage. He tugs at the collar of the too tight uniform polo shirt stretching uncomfortably across his chest and frowns. After a bag split all over him earlier, Rowan was forced to go diving in the employee lost and found for another uniform. Apparently, the only person who’s missing a shirt is two times smaller than him. He sniffs himself and nearly gags. He can’t wait to get home and shower. He look at his watch … in … five more hours.

“Whitethorn,” Lorcan calls, crossing across the yard at him. “Take your thirty now. Then you’re taking over for Connall at the ferris wheel ‘til closing, yeah?”

Rowan barely contains a shudder upon hearing his new assignment. He hates trash, but working the ferris wheel is somehow worse. He didn’t realize until last week that’s where every middle schooler goes on their first make out date. He’s had to pull too many kids off the ride, feeling like their disapproving father as he pulled their clashing braces apart to make room for the next patrons in line. Frankly, he finds PDA disgusting. And the sight of thirteen-year-olds going at it is enough to scar him for life.

At least Rowan finally gets to eat something, though. The oppressive mid-day heat combined with hours of physical labor and no fuel has him feeling like he could keel over any second. He grunts his acknowledgement at Lorcan and makes his way to the closest concessions stand, which luckily has barely a line – I guess since it’s 3 fucking PM and not actually lunch time. Rowan is about to step forward when he feels tiny fingers poke against the back of his knees. He’s about to snap at whatever parent to keep their kid on a tighter leash when he realizes there is no parent, just a kid – and the kid is, in fact, trying to get his attention.

“Um, excuse me? Sir?” the little boy says. Rowan’s never been a sir before. He hates it.

“Yeah?”

“I think I lost my family,” he says resolutely, not sounding even a little bit scared. “Can you help me find them?”

Rowan’s stomach grumbles and his head pounds. He knows he has to return this child to his family, but he also knows he needs to eat immediately or he’s going to lose it.

“We can absolutely do that,” Rowan begins, “but I haven’t eaten all day. Do you think you can wait like… ten minutes?”

The little boy nods and sticks out his hand. “I’m Gavin and I’m five.”

“Hey, Gavin. I’m Rowan and I’m hungry.” Gavin giggles at that, and Rowan finally cracks a smile and shakes the boy’s hand.

Rowan steps up to order, thinking about what’s going to be the fastest, since his thirty minute break is going to include an unforeseen detour to security at the entryway of the park. “Can I get a hot dog, a pretzel, a cherry coke and…” He looks at the little boy next to him. “Anything for you?”

Gavin’s eyes widen with glee. “Cotton candy?!”

“…and a cotton candy.”

Rowan reluctantly hands over a $20, saying goodbye to three hours of hard work. But he has no choice. They get their food and make their way to the eating tent. Rowan keeps his eyes open for anyone looking panicked or in search of a child, but he doesn’t see anyone who fits the bill.

Rowan inhales his hot dog in record speed and takes a giant gulp of his cherry coke and immediately feels better. Sitting under the shade of the tent helps, too. The pair sit quietly and eat their food. Gavin swings his legs happily as he peels off pieces of his cotton candy, licking the sticky sugar from his fingers.

“So…” Rowan has no idea how to talk to a kid, but he figures he should ask him a few questions to figure out who to return him to, at least. “Who are you here with today? You said your family?”

Gavin nods excitedly, the sugar clearly starting to make its way through his tiny body. “Yup! My whole family is here today. My mom, my dad, Auntie Ae, Nana and Grandpa.”

“Wow.” Rowan’s heart tugs slightly. “That’s fun. Any special occasion?”

“Nope. We come every week,” Gavin says.

“Every week?” Rowan asks, his voice rising in pitch. He’s trying to do the math of the ticket prices. $30 for six family members. That’s $180. For every week of the summer…? Rowan’s mental math skills stop there, but he knows that’s a LOT more than he’s ever been able to casually throw down.

“Yup. Since I was a baby,” Gavin says. “It’s my family’s special place.”

“Think your family would adopt me?” Rowan jokes. He loves his mom a lot, and she did the absolute best job raising him, but they’ve never had a special place. His mom thinks adding guacamole to her Chipotle bowl is special. Not that Rowan disagrees. Guacamole is a perfect condiment.

Gavin finishes his last lick of cotton candy and holds his red hands up at Rowan. “I’m sticky.”

Rowan shoves the final bite of his pretzel into his mouth and stands up. “Me too. Let’s go wash our hands and then find your family. Sound good?”

Gavin nods, skipping next to Rowan, his little shoes lighting up as he matches the striding pace. They make their way to the row of porta-potties and outdoor sinks, which line the side of the park. As Rowan washes his hands, he notices Gavin struggling to reach the stream of water. Of course. He’s only five.

“Need a hand?” Rowan asks, and Gavin nods, holding his arms up to be lifted. Rowan’s arms burn, since he’s been picking up giant bags of trash all day, but he manages to keep Gavin mid-air until he’s finished cleaning the sugary crystals from his hands. He’s putting Gavin back on the ground when he hears a loud voice shrieking behind him –

“YOU! SIR, STEP AWAY FROM THE CHILD!”

Damn it.

Rowan sighs and turns, letting his hold on Gavin drop completely. This is so not what he needs right now.

“Gavin, honey, come here,” the voice calls again.

Rowan searches to see who the voice belongs to and is momentarily stunned. Gavin’s mom is… young. And hot. Her golden blonde hair is swept away from her face in a high ponytail, resting softly down her bare back, on display in a strappy yellow tank top. And her jean shorts show off her long, tanned legs. Rowan stares a beat too long because the next thing he hears is, “Gavin, earmuffs,” and suddenly the blonde woman is inches away from him, in his face and pushing at his chest with her pointed finger. She is mad.

“Stay away from this little boy, you pervert!” The woman’s eyes flare angrily as she pushes Rowan’s chest again forcefully with her finger, and he is not having any of that. He grabs her finger in his large fist and moves it away from him, making the woman stumble back slightly. Her mouth widens into a small circle as she looks up at the man grabbing her finger.

“I’m sorry, pervert?” He chuckles humorlessly. “This little boy asked for my help finding his irresponsible family. Who lost him. I work here.” Rowan uses his other hand to point to the stupid logo on the corner of his polo. “He happened to find me on my lunch break. Maybe if you’d been a more responsible mother you wouldn’t feel the need to get this worked up the guy who was clearly about to take your kid to security.”

“Mom?” the woman says, horrified and snatches back her finger. “Oh my god.” Her demeanor shifts entirely as she looks to Gavin and motions for him to uncover his ears. “Gavin, please tell this very rude man that I am way too young and cool to be your mom.”

Gavin frowns. “I don’t think he’s rude, Auntie Ae. He gave me cotton candy.”

The woman’s eyebrows shoot up in accusation. ‘You gave him cotton candy? You’re only proving my point.”

Rowan puffs out his chest defensively. “I’m sorry, is cotton candy a sex offender favorite? I wouldn’t know.”

“You clearly offered sweets to a child to lure him away from his family!” she says way too loudly, looking around and making a show of her statement.

“Quiet down!” Rowan snipes through gritted teeth. “I need to keep this job, for fuck’s sake.”

The woman smirks and steps closer. “I think your employer deserves to know you were luring children away from their families!” she exclaims dramatically, attracting the attention of a nearby security guard.

“No,” Rowan says, his voice increasing in volume as well. He’s had it up to here with this day, and this woman has grated his last nerve. “That’s not… Listen…” Rowan takes a deep breath. He really cannot lose this job. “I was starving and about to go on my lunch break when some poor lost kid asked for help finding his family. I told him he could order something with me, since I felt bad. Sorry. I’ll be sure never to be polite ever again.”

Rowan has gotten in “Auntie Ae’s” face, and he’s breathing hard. He’s worked up, and he knows it’s not her fault, but fuck this day.

“Is everything alright here, Ms. Ashryver?” the approaching security guard asks, and Rowan pales.

The woman steps back and takes a breath, her fury melting into a warm smile for the guard. “No, Frank, everything is fine. Just thanking one of our newest employees, who made friends with Gavin today.”

The guard chuckles. “He run off again?”

The woman’s eyes flash in warning and the guard shakes his head. “Ah, don’t be mad, Aelin. You did the same exact thing when you were his age. Running from ride to ride and driving your old man crazy.”

Rowan crosses his arms as the guard saunters off, and the woman turns back to him with a shy smile.

“Ashryver, hm?” Rowan asks, feeling a little ill as he pictures the large Ashryver sign that hangs over the entryway to the park. “So, what is this, like… hazing?”

“No! I was really only going to make the one joke and then let it go,” the woman says, biting her lip guiltily and shoving her hands into her jean shorts pockets. “But then you called me his mom and I just… got carried away. I do that sometimes. I’m Aelin. Ashryver.”

“So I heard.” Rowan rolls his eyes. “You know there’s absolutely nothing funny about calling someone a predator, right? I could be arrested if the wrong person overheard that.”

“You’re making me feel very bad,” Aelin says with a grimace.

“Good,” Rowan says resolutely. “Because now I’m also late to get back to work.” He’s more than a little annoyed at how this entire exchange has played out. And even more annoyed that he can’t stop staring at Aelin’s bright blue eyes. This is the last thing he needs. He’s about to head off when –

“You’re really not going to tell me your name?” Aelin asks, tilting her head up, trying to figure Rowan out. Rowan’s about to reply when she cuts him off, not even giving him a chance. “That’s fine. I’ll find it out. I have connections, you know.”

“I’m sure you do, princess,” Rowan says. Her lips purse at the nickname, and Rowan can’t tell if she loves it or hates it.

“See you, stranger,” she replies, dismissing him and grabbing Gavin’s hand as she walks off. Just before turning the corner, she tosses her ponytail over her shoulder and looks back. It’s only when she winks at him that Rowan realizes he’s still standing motionless, watching her go.

#aelin x rowan #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin fanfic #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass fanfic #aelin galythinius #cruel summer au #amusement park au #lorcan salvaterre #rowaelin fanfiction #charincharge writes #tog fanfic

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bowl-of-shortness · 3 years

Text

A Journal?

Overthrown AU

——————————————

Day 599

Date: X̴͉̪̓̀̿̒̄͋̎͘͠X̷̨͖̙̥͎͓̀́X̸̧͇̫͙̫̣͇̼͍̩̀̈͗X̸̛̺̦͇͙̐̃̎̅̐ (it’s scratched out)

Time: 6:00 am

Bright and early per usual, I threw on my favorite pair of boots and overalls before heading downstairs for breakfast. Mom made some hot chocolate along with pancakes this morning, a nice little treat, I having a feeling today is going to be pretty good! Pancakes and hot chocolate in the morning, yum.

Time: 7:30 am

Did some small work on the farm before the bus for school showed up, just pulled out some pesky weeds that were bothering the crops, I bet they feel a lot better now! Anyways, on my way to school. The bus ride is always a bit long since I’m all the way out into the country but I don’t mind. I just put some music on on my scroll and daydream about a characters adventure.

Today, this character is fighting an evil king that’s been terrorizing his town, by the end of the bus ride, he’s beaten the evil king and takes his place.

Time: 8:00 am

1st period started, I always struggle to keep myself awake in this class. My teacher just goes on and on and on in this monotone voice and it’s SO BORING UGH. I hate science class, at least 2nd period is fun.

Time: 9:15 am

Now THIS is one of my favorite classes, P.E. I get to run around and play stupid games with my friends, what’s not to like? We’re playing dodgeball today, and I’m gonna be the KING!

Time: 9:18 am

I think I accidentally just hit my classmate in the head. Oops... let me go make sure she’s ok.

Time: 10:00 am

Math. I’m decent at it. Nothing really to mention about it, just working on geometry.

Time: 11:30 am

WOO HOO! LUNCH TIME BABEYYYYYYY! I love this time so much because I get to eat food and talk to my friends, and also maybe daydream about what I was daydreaming about earlier. I love this time. This story is getting intense! The old rude king comes back to challenge the new king, he luckily loses and runs off with his tail tucked between his legs ha!

Time: 12:35 pm

Phew! One more class, My classes change everyday so unfortunately I won’t have P.E. Tomorrow :(. Anyways I’m in history right now, I also really love history, it’s so interesting hearing about and thinking about those time periods. I hope I get to live through a historical event some day!

Time: 1:45 pm

Sorry for not writing, I got caught up in harvesting this years corn for the farmers market. I always love the farmers market, so many things to do and buy. It’s also fun to see how much money my family and I can earn, maybe I can ask mom if we can buy a cake for pops. Ol’ pops isn’t doing so well, he got sick a while back and hasn’t been getting better, I wish I could help him...

Time: 3:30 pm

Once again, got busy. This time mom put me in charge of looking after pops, she said no to the cake. Pops seemed extra bad today, why do I have the feeling this day is gonna end terribly? Just gotta keep my head up I suppose.

Time: 6:00 pm

I’m outside right now, mom and auntie are fighting about pops. Auntie wants my mom to stop taking care of him, “he’s gonna die anyways” she says. I hate auntie, she’s a jerk. Gold digger just wants pops’ money. I think I’ll stay out here for a while longer, maybe go on a walk, there’s a nice breeze right now. At least that’s good.

Time: 7:45 pm

I’m back outside, not by my own will though. Auntie stuck me out here, said “if you like running off like that then you can stay out of the house.”. I hate her so much. Earlier I thought I heard rustling in the field, probably the wind, it’s starting to get cold and it’s picking up. I hope mom lets me in soon. This day started out so great, why did it have to go wrong?

Time: 8:00 pm

I saw something. Just now. Out in the field. It looked like a person I think, I couldn’t see it’s face cuz it had its back turned to me. Tall, all black, pointy looking things on its head (maybe a crown?), looks like it’s got a cape of some kind.

Time: 8:02 pm

Mom let me back in the house finally. She’s mad at auntie. Why do I have a pit in my stomach suddenly, like something really bad is gonna happen?

Time: 8:10 pm

That figure is still out there. I wonder what it’s doing, it’s just, standing there, and the meadow grass looks like it’s dying around it? Maybe I should close my window...

Time: 8:11 pm

It turned around and looked right at me with these bright green eyes. It’s just staring at me, I’m gonna text mom about it. This guy is creepy...

Time: ?

It smiled and laughed at me. I know. I know. I know. I need to tell mom, we need to leave now.

Time: ???

I can’t find them. I can’t find any of them, mom, pops, or even auntie. I looked back outside, the figure is gone, I feel like I’m being watched.

Time: ??!!!??!!?!!?!!???!!!?????

I heard screaming and came downstairs, they’re all ash now, I don’t want to breath. I don’t want to breath them in. He’s here. Oh gods he’s here. Inside my house. Him. Help me please. If someone reads this please help the rest of my village, please. I ran back upstairs, I heard him laughing.

Time: !

H el p—_ *the page is covered in ash and fingerprints*

#overthrown ozpin au #tw: implied death

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mcrmadness · 2 years

Text

I met with my psychiatrist, occupational therapist and therapist today, finally.

I feel that we maybe finally made some progress. Me and both the occupational therapist talked about the possible ADHD so much and apparently I still won't get tested because the doctor believes there won't be anything new anyway so "there is no point in doing that again".

He also constantly talks about how in order to get an ADHD diagnosis, there must be signs of that from the person's childhood. And he can't diagnose me with ADHD because I "never" had ADHD traits - or at least nothing that would have caused anyone to look into that more. But he promised to go through the papers one more time and see if he can find anything that would support an ADHD diagnosis.

I feel a bit more hopeful after today's meeting than what I have done after the previous ones where he was like "nope, there's nothing here, just stop thinking about adhd :)" but I can't. Until I know for sure!

Also this "there were no signs of ADHD in your childhood" is always one hell of a pit where they throw me in. That always makes me so obsessive because I'm trying my best to find proof of things that no one saw in me because it was not visible to the outside. And I only have my memories and my experiences were my reality. I cannot go back in time to being a child again only to compare my experiences to other kids' experiences. I have always had my own way of thinking and seeing the world and I often take mine as the "universal" one. Because how could I know? How could A CHILD know something they experience is not universal because they are not experienced enough to know that. The world they see, is the only existing world they know of.

Another issue is that I also was a so-called gifted kid. I did tell the doctor about it - I was always ahead of other kids of my age. I learnt things fast and earlier than what normally kids do. I was 3 or 4 years old when I was able to read, for example. Then I hit puberty and it all slowed down and I felt myself as stupid at the times cos now I was the average or sometimes worse. So, I had no learning difficulties, I liked majority of the school subjects and was really good at those I was interested in, and bad/really bad at those that I wasn't interested in.

I still am like this with my interests and disinterests and sometimes it's actually frustrating because I would WANT to understand what someone tells me but my brain just leaves the chat the second an uninteresting topic happens. It's so embarrassing to be there trying to be friendly and nice meanwhile all you have in your brain is the cricket sound, basically. I don't zone out, I do hear and see, but my brain just pushes the information out from the other ear without even trying to process it. It's like my brain would literally reject uninteresting topics.

It's just. So difficult to prove something that you have no evidence of. I only have my own memories and experiences, but it seems that they only want proper medical reports written by other professionals, as if the patient's stories would not matter because they're not a professional. Which is a bit stupid mindset because I am the professional OF MY OWN HEAD. I know what goes on in there! You'd think it matters what I feel and think, more than what maybe someone wrote on a paper when I was 8 years old.

If they still say that "sorry no adhd", I think then I'm then gonna bring my mom there with me. She can tell about my childhood, she remembers. She knows how I struggled with homework, never wanted to do them, struggled with focusing on them. My mom even asked from the school how to make me focus better, and they just told to have an empty table and my mom was like "bitch all they need is a pen and paper???" And if I had no paper? Then I drew on that table. But I always had paper - I had my school books and notebooks. She also remembers how I found it so hard to comprehend maths and how she did everything to explain it to me (I was on the 1st grade) and finally we had a breakthrough with tiny wooden sticks. I saw the numbers in a concrete form and suddenly the basics of maths opened to me. I also remember that moment, altho I still was not too good at maths. Passed, but it was never too easy for me. I still struggle with numbers, more or less.

But yeah, let's see how it goes from here. I've done my everything to find any proof from my childhood. I have obsessively gone through so many papers, ordered papers from the health care district, went through all my old school books and notebooks and papers several times, browsed through the folder my mom kept filling when I was a toddler. She wrote a "diary" of me for the first about 3,5 years of my life - and ended there because my siblings were born and she no longer had time. But still kept writing sometimes and collecting stuff (memories) there.

#mcrmadness venting #adhd stuff

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eddiemunsonssoulmate · 4 years

Text

At the end of the day I’ll walk with the heart of a lion

Summary: JJ Maybank is about as local as they come. Latest in a long line of fishing, drinking, smuggling, vendetta-holding salt-lifers who made their living off the water. Best surfer around and mild kleptomanic, probably also a future tax cheat.But what made him into the young man he is now?

Word Count: 10.320

Warnings: Domestic abuse, child abuse, drugs, alcohol, violence, angst

A/N: Okay so this one...well. It's kinda taken a life on it's own. It was supposed to be just a small OneShot about JJ's early home life, a few headcanons thrown in here and there about his mother, how his father became so shitty. Things like that. Now you've 10k for JJ's background how I imagine it. It starts with his pre-school life and goes up until the vanishing of Big John, so around a year before the show starts. I hope you enjoy!

Available On: AO3

There was a time, I used to look into my father's eyes In a happy home, I was a king I had a golden throne

“Mom, look”, the blonde boy said and came running into the house, holding a dead fish as high up in the air as he could. “I caught it all on my own!”

His mom turned around and smiled at the boy literally glowing with excitement, patting his head. “Good job, JJ”, she said and crouched down in front of him to place a kiss on his cheek.

“This is going to be a feast!”, his father exclaimed as he came up behind his son, carrying a box with fish and ice inside.

It had been the first time that his dad has taken him fishing and JJ loved every second of it. It was pretty exciting for a six year old after all. He had been nagging his father about this for weeks and today was the day he had finally agreed.

JJ had literally jumped out of bed this morning, way earlier than usual, only to crawl into the bed of his parents to wake them up with excitement in his voice.

“Mom, mom, can I help?”, he said and climbed up on the counter where his dad had placed the fish, looking inside the box.

“Are you sure you can handle such a big knife?”, his mother asked and showed him the knife she was going to use.

“I’m a big boy!” He pouted a little at his mother, he could fish so he could totally prepare dinner with it.

It took a little longer than usual but dinner was ready soon enough and he felt like he was the happiest kid on earth right now. He liked the outdoors things with his father but also really liked helping his mother around the house. Cooking, baking, cleaning, it didn’t matter to him as long as he could spend time with her.

“Can we go again soon?”, JJ asked his father, his mouth still full of food and it made his dad laugh.

“Sure we can, buddy. But first we have to fix your tree house okay?” His father smiled at the young child in front of him and JJ nodded.

They had built a treehouse together a few months ago but the last storm hadn’t been kind to it, so it needed some fixing. It was JJ’s favourite place to be when he wanted to be alone, sometimes he would even sleep there when it was warm outside. He had a pretty good view over the property and felt like a king in his home.

The boy grinned and kept eating as fast as he could as his favourite cartoon was about to start soon and missing even a second of it was not an option.

Later on he was snuggled between his parents on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, watching TV. A particular scene involved the protagonist going to school and JJ clapped his hands.

“I’m so excited for school!”, he said and snuggled closer to his mother who slowly stroked his blonde hair that he had clearly gotten from her.

After this summer the first year of school would start for the small boy and he had been talking about it for quite some time. It was probably normal for kids that age to be excited about going to school but JJ had always been so full of energy that he seemed even more excited.

“Bedtime story?”, he yawned when his show was over and his dad was carrying him to his bed.

“You know I’m not good at telling stories”, his father answered and JJ just chuckled against his neck.

“You always say that and you still tell me stories afterwards.” It had become their routine ever since JJ had asked for the first story years back and his father would always try to deny it.

Of course he got another story and, as usual, he fell asleep during that. His father gave him a kiss to his forehead before leaving the room. It might have been a small room but big enough for a kid his age, decorated with love by his parents.

When everything you do Don’t seem to matter You try but it’s no use Your world is getting blacker

School certainly hadn't been what he had expected. Actually, he hated it most of the time. He wanted to go fishing with his father, spend time with his mother, learn how to surf even though the waves would swallow him. Sitting in a cramped classroom together with other kids he didn’t get along with wasn’t his favourite activity. The learning was fun, sometimes but everything else was a nightmare for the active kid that prefered to run around instead of sitting still.

“I don’t want to go there anymore”, he said one day as he came home, throwing his backpack into a corner and falling face down onto the couch. It’s only been a few months but he was already done with it, already trying to think of a job he could get at his age already but coming up blank.

“Why’s that, sweety?”, his mother asked and walked over to him to pat his head gently.

“The other kids are mean!”, he said as he sat up, pouting at his mother. “They make fun of me because I can’t read as well as the others!”

“Oh, you’ll learn soon enough. School only just started, it just takes a while.” His mother kissed him on his forehead and sat down next to him but JJ didn’t want to hear it. His parents had always told him he was a really smart boy but right now he felt really stupid.

“But they laugh about me because I’m the only one!” He didn’t understand why it was only him that had trouble with letters and words.

His mother pulled him on her lap and into a hug. “Some are faster, some are slower. That’s okay.”

“Am I dumb?”, he suddenly asked and his mother laughed softly, shaking her head. The other kids had been calling him dumb quite often and it didn’t seem to stop, no matter how many times his teacher scolded them.

“No, you’re one of the smartest boys I know”, she said and he pulled away, grinning from ear to ear at her, a small twinkle in his eyes. If mom said that, that had to be true, right? Mom was the best, after all. The kids wouldn’t be smarter than his mother.

“Can we make a cake?” He really loved baking with his mother. He himself wasn’t very good at it but his mother was very skilled at baking all kinds of goods.

His mother agreed and they went on to the kitchen. “But don’t eat all the batter before we actually make the cake!”

JJ just giggled and nodded.

He would do it anyway.

It would only take a couple of more weeks until the young boy decided to do something against the bullying he had to endure.

“JJ, what happened?”, his mother asked as she came into the office of the principal with quick steps. They had called her and she had come as fast as she could, worried about her little boy. He just sat there on the chair that was way too big for him, swinging his feet back and forth.

“Nothing”, he mumbled and didn’t look at her, too ashamed of himself.

“Mrs. Maybank, good that you’re here”, the principal said and got up to shake her hand briefly, signing her to take a seat next to JJ’s before sitting again. “Your son broke another student’s nose today.”

“You what?”, she asked and put a hand over her mouth in shock while looking at the normally so innocent boy next to her. “Why would you do something like that?”

“He kept teasing me because I can’t read well and because I’m smaller than the others! And dad said I should stand up for myself and not take any of their shit!”, he said loudly, angry that no one seemed to understand his situation.

“JJ! Language!”, his mother rebuked him and he pouted even more. “I’m so sorry that happened, is the other child okay?”

“He will be but this is unacceptable behavior. If this keeps happening we have to suspend or even expel your son”, the principal explained and JJ’s mother ran a hand through her hair, not sure how to handle all of this.

“Yes of course. I’ll make sure it won’t happen again.” She nodded in agreement.

The principal asked JJ to leave the room for a moment and wait outside. After the boy left he leaned over on his desk, closer to the woman in front of him.

“There’s also a thing the teacher had noticed. Your son might be dyslexic. That’s probably the reason why he gets in trouble with other students. We would like to test this with him, can we make an appointment soon? If it’s confirmed he can get the support he needs to catch up.”

The blonde woman agreed and soon enough it was proven that JJ was in fact a dyslexic. They finally had an answer why he had troubles reading and writing but the bullying still didn’t stop and JJ wasn’t one to just keep taking it without a fight back.

Following weeks were full of talks with teachers and the principal as JJ was acting out even more. He didn’t hurt them bad and only defended himself when he got bullied again but he had always been the one to get in trouble the most.

Therapy was even in the talks and also extra lessons for kids who were struggling. One of many things that JJ started to hate about school. He really liked math, biology and sports but staying in school longer only because he couldn’t read so well? Ridiculous. He tried to sneak so often that his teachers had to accompany him to the extra classes.

His mom was slowly getting all over her head with him and his father...well. He was at home all the time currently after losing his job but didn’t seem to care about his family too much right now. He was dwelling in self pity and prefered to drink away his pain.

The first time JJ had come home from school and saw his father passed out on the couch he thought that he was dead, freaking out but only waking him up with it, earning a scolding for that. His dad had gotten quite loud and that was totally new for the young boy.

It wouldn’t be the last time he would find his father like that, he only didn’t say anything about it anymore, simply accepting the fact that his dad seemed to be tired a lot.

“Mom?”, he asked as she was tugging him in one day.

“Why is dad like that? He is drinking so much and sleeps a lot. Is he tired because he’s trying so hard to get a job?” He still didn’t know why he needed the alcohol for that but as his parents always had told him, alcohol is for grown ups and he shouldn’t care about it too much.

His mother sighed and tears were building up in her eyes while she shook her head. “He will be fine, I’m sure he’s trying really hard to find one in the mornings when you’re at school. And then he is so exhausted he needs to sleep.”

“But why the beer? It smells and tastes horribly”, he answered and pouted, his eyes full of wonder because he couldn’t grasp the concept of it. For him, any kind of alcohol smelled bad and every time his father let him try a tiny sip it was disgusting.

“Sleep now”, his mother simply replied and pressed her forehead against his for a second before turning the light off and leaving the room.

His father hadn’t tugged him in in weeks.

No one had told him bedtime stories ever since.

I hear her scream from down the hall Amazing she can even talk at all She cries to me go back to bed

It was at the end of the next summer that his father came home with a huge grin on his face.

“Honey, I bring good news!” The older man came into the house while his mother and JJ were baking cookies, enjoying the time together while his father was out of the house for once.

“Oh?”, she simply said and cleaned her hands to turn to her husband, JJ sitting on the desk and sneakingly putting his finger in the batter. He really had a sweet tooth.

“I found a new job at the docks!”, he said and pulled her into a hug, swirling in a circle. The little boy grinned at his parents finally looking happy again.

“That’s wonderful”, his mother said and pressed a kiss to his lips.

JJ didn’t really listen to his parents talk about boring jobs, the only thing he hoped was that his father would stop with the beer and tell him bedtime stories again.

“Would you please leave some of the batter in there?”, his mother said as she came back to him and he already had another finger of it in his mouth, grinning sheepishly at her.

When the cookies were done he went over to his father in the living room, giving him a huge plate of cookies. “For you! To celebrate the new job!”, he said and smiled at his father which caused the older man to ruffle his hair.

“Such a good boy”, he said and took one of the cookies that were still warm and JJ looked behind to his mother, beaming with pride at her but she didn’t seem to look. He tilted his head while watching her for a moment how she just stared off in the distance.

She was probably happy on the inside, that’s what he had hoped.

He would soon enough find out that he was wrong about that.

JJ returned home after a long day of school and extra courses a few months later, he was exhausted and annoyed. He was improving but only really slowly and it was annoying him that the other kids seemed so much smarter than him. He didn’t really understand that it wasn’t his fault.

Even before he opened the door he could hear yelling inside the house. The voices of his parents were clashing and he bit his bottom lip, hand still at the doorknob. They seemed really angry and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go inside right now.

When he was about to turn around and go to the treehouse instead, the door opened and his father was standing in front of him, eyes filled with anger and he was breathing heavily. He didn’t say a word, just slightly shoved the boy aside before getting to his car and driving off.

JJ watched him leave before going inside, dropping his bag immediately after seeing his mother sitting on the floor.

“Mom!”, he said and ran over to her, crouching down besides her. “Are you okay?”

Her eyes were filled with tears and she seemed hurt but she just nodded. “I’m fine, sweety”, she sand and pulled him into a hug, sobbing slightly against his shoulder. He wrapped his little arms around her and didn’t say a word.

“Where did dad go?”, he asked after a long moment and his mother shook her head.

“I don’t know. Probably to work, you know he has to work really weird hours.”

The boy nodded and grabbed his mother's hand, trying to pull her up on her feet. She smiled at him with sad eyes and got up, dusting off her clothes before going to the kitchen. It looked like she was walking a little weird.

“What were you fighting about?”, JJ asked with curiosity and her mother shook her head at him once more.

“Not now, JJ. Go to your room and make homework okay?”

His face dropped and he pouted before he went to get his backpack. He hated when they had secrets from him and for some reason he felt like there was a lot that he didn’t know.

Instead of doing his homework he looked out of the window, waiting for his father to come home but it was in vain. He was also pretty sure he could hear his mom crying and he really wanted to go and hug her but she didn’t seem to want him there right now.

Three days would pass before his father returned home, drunk and with a lot of money in his hands.

The little boy had no idea that his father’s new job involved smuggling and his mother had found out.

He hadn’t seen the first time his mother got hit by her own husband.

He would hear a lot of crying from the bedroom the following weeks.

Hey mom, hey dad When did this end? Where did you lose your happiness?

Second grade was almost over and things had changed at home. He couldn’t put a finger on it when exactly it had happened but he could feel that there was a lot of sadness in his mother and a lot of anger in his father.

He sat outside on his swing that was right under the treehouse, his parents were inside, having a grown up talk he wasn’t allowed to listen to even though he was dying out of curiosity. At first he thought about sneaking to the kitchen window that was open so maybe he could listen to them but then he was sure they were probably fighting again and he didn’t want to know that.

They had to love each other, that’s what parents did, right?

His mother didn’t smile anymore, not even when he came home with good grades or when he baked her cookies. Nothing made her smile. She tried to fake it but he could see that her eyes were still sad no matter how much she smiled.

His father on the other hand was away quite often but whenever he came home he barely talked to his mother. JJ didn’t know why and when he asked, they always said it was fine when it was clearly not fine.

No one had watched his cartoon with him for a while now and he never got to hear those bedtime stories from his father again, not even with the new job as he had hoped. Instead of this, he had to go to bed alone because his mother would lock herself into the bedroom in the evening and his father was either out at work or at home drinking. JJ didn’t like that.

“Don’t you dare to leave!”, Luke suddenly yelled angrily and JJ looked up, watching how his mother left the house with quick steps, hurrying over to the car almost as if she tried to run away.

His father caught up to her fast and grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him quite forcefully.

“Let go of me!”, she yelled right back at him and hit his arm multiple times but it was in vain. The grip was strong and there was no chance of getting away now.

JJ stopped the swing and got off it, walking over to his parents and looking at them with big eyes. They were fighting again. It seemed bad. He didn’t want it to be bad, why was this happening?

“Dad?”, he asked as he stopped next to them with a little distance. There was something about his father that scared him so he didn’t dare to go closer. “I think mom wants to go.” His voice was quiet, almost like a whisper but it was loud enough for his parents to notice and look over to him. It was an obvious fact that he was starting but for him, it seemed important to tell his father at this moment.

“None of your fucking business, kid.” The tone was harsh and it shocked JJ, his father had never talked to him in such a way. He took a step back and his bottom lip started to wobble a little. His dad had been barely angry at him and even then, it was just a mild scolding. This time, it felt like a vocal hit to the face.

“Luke!”, his mother hissed and he turned back to her, glaring into her eyes.

“What? Tell your worthless son to use his brain something in school instead of annoying grown ups! Maybe then we will get a little bit of peace and not worry about him anymore”, he growled and didn’t look at JJ again before letting go of the woman, walking inside with heavy steps, slamming the door shut behind him.

JJ just blinked at what happened, tears dwelling in his eyes when he looked at his mother. Her face fell and within a moment she was kneeling in front of him, holding his face in her hands.

“Oh sweetheart, he didn’t mean it like that. He is just really stressed from work”, she tried to explain and pulled him into a hug where the boy started to sob. Why would his father call him something like that? He normally only called small fish they didn’t need worthless. He didn’t want to be like that.

He had no idea what was going on but he didn’t like it. The fighting, the sadness, the anger, the yelling, all of it. Was it his fault?

“I don’t like his new job”, he sniffled against her shoulder and she nodded in agreement.

“Don’t tell anyone, okay? Nothing good would happen then. Promise me?”; she asked with a gentle voice as she was brushing a strand of hair out of his face and he bit his bottom lip and nodded.

JJ had no idea that the coming week would be even worse than what he had just experienced.

His mom was away a lot, would leave when he was at school and come back in the late afternoon which almost always caused a fight with his father when he was at home. It was a constant yelling of ‘Where have you been?’ and ‘Who did you visit?’ like his mother wasn’t allowed to even leave the house.

He spent an awful lot of time in the treehouse as soon as it got worse. Home didn’t feel safe anymore with all the yelling and his parents not even paying attention to him anymore. There was no fishing, no baking, no bedtime stories. He sometimes felt like a stranger in his own house.

During another warm night he had decided to sleep in the treehouse so he wouldn’t need to see his father drunk on the couch or hear his mother's cries from the bedroom. At some point he got thirsty and the sun was already gone so he figured it would be safe to go inside.

He came in from the side, tip-toeing into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water which he gulped down pretty quickly, filling up another to take it with him into the treehouse. They didn’t have water bottles anymore, the only bottles in the house were beer bottles.

JJ was almost out of the house again when he heard the sound of something breaking and his mother’s voice screaming out in pain. He blinked and walked over to the bathroom where the door stood open enough to see what was happening.

His father was towering over his mother as she was leaning against the dresser, a lamp and a few books on the ground.

The glass of water dropped to the ground and shattered into pieces as the young boy saw how his father’s fist connected with his mother’s face. It took him only a second to sprint over and jump on his father’s back.

“Dad, stop!”, he yelled and was already in tears. His appearance shocked both of his parents and made them freeze in place, especially his father.

It was long enough for his mother to slip out of him.

“I’m done with you!”, she spat at him and grabbed an already packed bag before getting out of the house.

JJ slowly let go of his father and dropped to the ground, looking up at his father with eyes full of terror.

“See what you have done!”, Luke yelled and went to run after his wife.

The young boy on the ground just looked after his father as the tears continued to roll down his face.

Was it his fault his mother had left?

That’s at least what his father kept telling him in his drunken rage the following weeks because his mother did not return home.

She never came back again and he started to blame himself too.

Because of you I'm ashamed of my life Because it's empty Because of you I am afraid

Life had been a nightmare ever since his mother had left them. He never even heard from her again. That was one of the many reasons why the boy thought that it was his fault. If it wouldn’t be, she would at least write him a letter or call, right? But she didn’t, not even for his birthday.

No one in school wished him a happy birthday because no one knew, not even the teachers. Or they didn’t care so he didn’t care much either as he just wanted to get home and into his treehouse to hide from the world.

As he came home he checked the mailbox but there was nothing. He had prayed every night that his mother would send him a birthday card but it was as empty as his stomach.

He gulped when he walked into the house only to find his father snoring on the couch, surrounded by beer bottles that hadn’t been there this morning. A sad sigh left his mouth when he was looking around. No birthday decoration, no cake on the table with candles to blow out, no gifts.

His father probably didn’t even know it was his birthday. How could his lovely father turn into that angry man in front of him was beyond the young boy. It hurt so much. He had never felt so lonely in his life.

When he went over to the fridge his stomach made some loud noises and he held it with his left hand, rubbing it a bit. He didn’t have any lunch money for school so that hadn’t been an option. Sadly, the fridge didn’t seem to be an option either as it was only filled with a couple of beer bottles.

JJ bit his bottom lip and looked over to his father. He had to ask him as he didn’t have any money to buy something.

His legs were a little shaky while he was walking over to his father, the last time he had woken him up during one of his drunken naps it ended in lots of yelling and throwing things around.

“Dad?”, he said very silently and shook his father’s shoulder slightly but the older man didn’t even move. “Dad”, he tried again this time louder and Luke finally moved a little, grumbling something under his breath. “Dad!” This time his voice was actually loud enough for his father to stir.

It took only a moment for the older man to grab the hand of his son and hold it tightly. “The fuck you want?”, he asked and groaned loudly, putting his free hand against his head, having quite the headache from drinking all night long.

“I’m hungry”, the boy said and bit his bottom lip only to get a glare from his father who let go of the small arm between his hands, sitting upright.

“So what? Make yourself some food”, he replied with anger in his voice and reached over to a full beer bottle.

“Dad, please. Stop drinking and buy food, I don’t have any money for that!”, JJ said with frustration washing over him. “If mom would be here this wouldn’t be happening at all!”

That caused his father to glare even more at him and he got up within a flash, shoving the boy to the ground into some empty beer bottles which broke, cutting JJ’s arm. He hissed in pain and looked up at his father with fearful eyes.

“It’s your fault she is gone! Get a job if you want money!”, Luke screamed at the child in front of him, throwing the full bottle at him, the impact right next to his head. The smell of alcohol reached JJ’s nose and his whole body was shaking, not sure if his father had actually aimed at the ground or just missed his head.

His father had never hurt him until today.

Deep in his bones he felt like it wasn’t going to be the last time.

Weeks passed by and he had to adapt to his father’s moods or else he would get a beating, over and over again. Whenever he said or did something wrong he would immediately feel it. Bruises were covering his body but when a teacher or another child asked what had happened he would just lie, telling them he fell while playing, things like that. After all, he had promised his mother to keep quiet about it or bad things would happen.

He was wandering the streets with an empty stomach once again, not quite sure where to go, he just didn’t want to be at home with his father, so he tended to spend as much time away from the place he used to love as possible.

At some point he reached a place where he had never been before and if he was honest, he didn’t even quite know how he got here, probably a wrong turn he took at some point. There was a house and it was a little hidden from the bushes but it had a pier and seemed quite bit.

“Hey there”, someone behind him said and when JJ turned around he looked into the eyes of a boy with fluffy hair that was longer than his own.

“Hey”, he replied, not quite sure what to make of the situation. The other boy was holding a ball in his hands and grinned. JJ felt like he had seen him around, probably at school but as he wasn’t a fan of other kinds, they probably never talked.

“I’m John B.!”, the other child said and held one of his hands out, waiting for JJ to shake it which he did.

“JJ”, he replied and smiled slightly back. Before he could say anything else his stomach was rumbling loudly and John B started to laugh.

“You hungry, JJ? My dad makes the best pasta and it should be done soon!”, the brown haired boy said and seemed totally excited for such simple food, something JJ could understand. Yesterday he had to eat moldy bread because his father didn’t get groceries again, it was a surprise he wasn’t ill yet.

“I’d love that”, JJ said and grinned, following John B. to the house where he also met the father of the other child, a nice man that took care of his son, something JJ only barely remembered.

They became friends quite quickly and soon enough, JJ was at John B’s place more than anywhere else. Not even the treehouse could compete anymore. Luke never asked where he had been anyway and Big John, John B’s father, never asked any questions as he seemed to notice the sadness inside of the blonde boy.

With them, JJ didn’t feel so lonely anymore, knowing he had a place to go when he needed food or just a hug. Big John became like a second father to him, one that was worth being called like that. He wasn’t judged here, was bullied because of being dyslexic and Big John would always help him with his homework, something Luke had never done at all.

Since JJ was coming here, the beatings almost stopped as he barely saw his own father anymore. If it was for him, the Routledge family could just adopt him but sadly that wasn’t an option.

I never noticed, until I focused On everything you did, you said You lit the fuse inside my head Thank you for reminding me Of why I'm sick inside Thank you for the venom Did you think it would paralyze?

Four years had passed with JJ living at John B’s place more than his own, four years had passed without a word from his mother. At this point, she was dead to him. It was easier to call her that instead of thinking that she is out there, maybe happy with another family.

He was a teenager now and with that, he noticed the change around him quite well. He wasn’t a little kid anymore that only got glimpses of what was going on.

His father was a smuggler and a drug dealer and the only things he ever bought with that was alcohol. JJ hated him and normally he would be happy to have Big John as his second father.

Sadly, things had changed at the Chateau. Big John had become obsessed with a ship called ‘The Royal Merchant’, some legendary ship that sunk and had a lot of gold on board. He didn’t pay as much attention to the boys as before and didn’t tolerate JJ at his home that often anymore as the boys were quite loud when playing and hanging out.

Big John still loved both of them dearly but he wasn’t good at showing it anymore, so the boys spent a lot of time outside, doing their own thing, things that mostly weren’t really legal but no one cared anyway, so why should they? Shoupe showed up sometimes to scold them but they never really did anything so bad that he needed to arrest them. Most of the time the also simply ran away and Shoupe let them go.

It was also the time where the problems with the Kooks started. As soon as Middle School started, a lot of the former ‘normal’ kids went to a private school, some kind of Academy at Figure Eight and a bunch of them went off to private schools, not good enough anymore to learn at the same place like people from the Cut.

If you seperate kids like that, making one side feel special and the other side feel worthless, it wouldn’t take long for them to drift apart. The rich kids felt superior, were arrogant and threw around with money.

JJ was just someone from the Cut who didn’t have any money, sometimes didn’t even have food and with his temper, he was easily provoked by a lot of them. That was one of the reasons why he was at the police station currently.

A few of the boys who bullied him in his early years for being dyslexic and not having the best clothes were Kooks now, well, had always been but now it was showing even more. It had ended up in a fight which he had lost as they had been five and he had been alone, John B probably at home where he should be late at night.

“JJ? Your dad is here”, Deputy Shoupe said and JJ’s clenched his hand into a fist to stop his body from starting to shake in the first place. He already knew this wouldn’t end well but there was nothing he could do about it.

“I’m so sorry that you had to put up with him. I’ll teach him a lesson”, Luke simply said and Shoupe sighed, already expecting what the home life might be as Luke had been at the station quite often himself, mostly for drunken rampage.

“Make sure he understands that law actually applies to him and he isn’t a kid anymore. He is 13 years old and should act according to that,” the deputy tried to explain as he didn’t want to bring kids here that often but sometimes he had no other choice.

He had no idea that JJ would become a regular at the station just then.

The blonde boy huffed at the words of the deputy, his body tense and clenching his jaw a couple of times. He had no desire to go home with his father only to get beat up, maybe he could run away as soon as they got out of the station, Luke wouldn’t chase him because at the end of the day, he didn’t seem to give a shit about him.

Luke nodded and grabbed his son’s arm, pulling him outside a little more forcefully than needed.

“Let go of me”, JJ hissed and tried to get his arm loose but Luke wouldn’t have any of it. He only let go as soon as they were in the car. So much for trying to run away.

“Listen you little shit, I don’t care if you’re around or not but for god's sake, don’t make me get you out of there, understood?”, Luke sounded angry but the boy next to him was more surprised that he didn’t get hit in the face already. Cramped spaces with his father couldn’t be a good thing and JJ just waited for the first right hook to hit him.

The boy didn’t say anything, simply looked out of the window while biting his bottom lip. Luke grumbled something under his breath before he started the car and drove them home.

To no one’s surprise, as soon as they got home JJ got pushed around, got yelled up, his father kicked him to the ground and gave him a couple of bruises together with a lot of insults that had burned into JJ’s mind at this point. He was used to all of this and yet it hurt so much, every single time.

It was the first time in quite a while that he had slept in his own bed, too exhausted to leave this place that had turned from home to hell. He should have run away again, to the Chateau or to the woods, somewhere where no one could hurt him but his body was giving out.

The next day he was about to get out of the house but his father saw him. “Where are you all the time anyway?”, Luke asked but didn’t sound really interested.

“Why do you care? At least I’m not drinking my life away”, JJ huffed and was about to get out of the house but stopped in his tracks, seeing his father’s wallet on the small table that was standing next to the door.

One look back in the living room to make sure his father was busy watching TV and he reached into the wallet, taking out a couple of bucks, not counting them. He simply put them in his own pockets and was out of the house.

After he was away in safe distance he counted the money and grinned when he saw that it was at least 60$. An idea was forming in the back of his head and he went downtown.

Later that evening he and JB were out with the boat. Big John taught them how to use it and only told them not to go too far. Thankfully his friend didn’t bring up his bruised face, JJ didn’t want to think about it, simply wanted to enjoy the time.

John B was quite surprised when JJ pulled out weed and alcohol.

“We gotta live a little, man. With your old man being busy and mine being an asshole, we have to look out for ourselves!”, JJ said as he stood at the bow and took the first pull on the blunt. He started to cough heavily and JB laughed loudly.

“Yeah, you’re not sounding like you’re going to survive that”, he teased and earned a glare from JJ.

It was the first time they got drunk and high and it would for sure not be the last time.

It also ended up in JJ getting beat up heavily by his father as soon as he found out that his son stole from him.

Only another reason to look for an escape from the world.

So why do good girls like bad guys? I had this question for a real long time I've been a bad boy and it's plain to see So why do good girls fall in love with me?

The past year had passed quickly enough and life wasn’t getting any better, not really. At least that’s what a sane person would say. JJ on the other hand found his life to be getting quite good, drowning his sorrows in alcohol and weed he consumed at parties at first, then also whenever he felt like it.

Deep inside he knew this wasn’t healthy and he shouldn’t do it, he might just end up like his father but he understood the power of those things to numb your feelings to a point where you didn’t care anymore. The only thing he cared about was having a good time with his best friend. No, with his brother, John B.

Now that Big John was totally drowning in his research the boys had a lot of time on their hands, skipping school more often to hang out on the boat, surfing whenever they could. JJ had become quite good at it, always claiming he was the best surfer on the island.

“Who’s that?”, JJ asked one day while they were laying on the beach, taking a break from surfing and enjoying the sun.

“Who?”, John B asked and looked into the direction where his friend was looking, seeing two girls who just came to the beach. “Oh. I don’t know, some girls?”

“Yeah, obviously, thank you for that observation. But the blonde one? Damn”, JJ said and licked his lips with a wolfish grin.

“JJ, no. Leave them be”, John B said with an edge in his voice and JJ raised his hands in defence.

“I’m just looking okay? Besides, they’re looking back.” He wiggled his eyebrows at JB and then looked back at the girls, waving a little.

“You’re embarrassing”, John said and facepalmed at his friends being way too obvious. “And you have no idea how to flirt.”

“Tsk, do you see this face?”, JJ asked and drew a circle around his face in the air. “This face doesn’t even need flirting skills, it’s totally enough. Also, I can flirt, watch me.”

With that JJ got up and sat down in the sand in front of the girls, talking to them for a while, John B watching him in horror. That was more than embarrassing now and he wished he could just bury himself in the sand.

Soon enough, JJ was waving him over and he obviously had no choice but to join them.

They had spent the whole day with the two girls and had a lot of fun with them, showing them their surfing skills and even teaching them some surfing basics. At first everything seemed like they would just be some tourists, here for the summer. Outer Banks was the paradise on earth after all.

It wasn’t the last time they had met up and soon enough JJ had to admit that he had a crush on Emma, the beautiful girl with blonde hair and green eyes. For him, she was beautiful.

“So, there’s a party tonight at the beach, you wanna come?”, Emma asked as she sat next to JJ on a fallen tree trunk on the beach and he grinned at her.

“You mean the boneyard one? I was planning to ask you that”, he exclaimed and she laughed, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“I can’t wait”, she whispered and he put an arm around her, blushing slightly while they were watching the sea. It was a calm day but he had no idea how messy it would get.

The party was already going strong when he and John B arrived later that evening and he didn’t waste a second to throw himself into it. Alcohol, weed and the girl he liked in his arms. He had a great time all night.

“I’m going to take a piss”, he said slightly drunk and Emma nodded, also quite intoxicated. She went over to another girl, probably a friend of her and JJ took another pull at his blunt again before throwing it in the sand, then going over to the woods where no one would see him.

Unknowingly to him, three boys were following him and caught him off guard while he was following nature’s call.“Hey Pogue!”, one of them said loudly and JJ jumped, pulling his pants up and buttoning it quickly.

“Damn, I know I have a pretty cock that y’all want to get a look at but don’t scare me to death. Also, not interested in boys, sorry”, he slurred in his drunken state but sobered up as soon as the first punch hit him right in the face.

Two of the boys rushed behind him to hold him while the one that spoke to him was cracking his knuckles.

“Leave the hands from my sister, alright? Dirty people like you shouldn’t touch her”, he said and hit JJ in the stomach which almost caused him to puke.

“Emma’s a Kook?”, he asked in disbelief while trying to catch his breath from the punch. He had no idea until now and it hurt more than it should. She should have told him.

“Yes, she is. That means she is better than you are, so stay away.”

The boy punched him again and again before the other two let JJ fall to the ground where he held his stomach in pain, cowering there and watching how blood was dripping from his lips.

“I already touched her a little bit so sorry about that. Guess she’s dirty now,” he coughed with a small laugh in between.

The words riled the Kook boy up and he kicked JJ in the ribs until he fell to his side, body bruised and bleeding. He spat on him before he signaled his two boys to leave.

JJ breathed heavily and felt like his whole body was falling apart right now. He had really liked that girl but the gap between Kooks and Pogues were almost a bottomless pit. Soon enough she would have left him anyway when she found out that he didn’t have any money.

Her brother had ripped the rose-colored glasses right out of JJ’s face and he sighed heavily.

His life would probably never change. He would always be that worthless piece of shit that couldn’t do anything right. He would never be worth anything.

It was only two hours later that John B found him bruised and battered, almost passed out on the ground.

For JJ, it had only felt like minutes while staring at the sky, watching the trees move in the wind.

He didn’t want a doctor so John B just took him to the Chateau, wondering why his father wasn’t there but maybe it was for the better right now. He took care of JJ’s wounds and let him rest in his bed while he slept on the couch for the night.

The next morning, JJ felt like death. His body was hurting, his head was exploding and the realization washed over him that his first crush, his first love, was gone and he had no chance of getting her back. Maybe he was over dramatic as he was only a teenager but the pain was real.

John B came in with breakfast and sat down at the bed.

“How are you feeling?”, his friend asked and JJ just scoffed.

“Exactly how I look like”, he answered and reached to get a sandwich from the plate. Even chewing hurt.

“I see.” JB said and looked at his brother. His face was bruised badly, several cuts and a blue eye and he knew there were a lot of purple bruises under the blanket. “You going to tell me what happened?”

“Emma’s a fucking Kook and her brother reminded me that I’m just a dirty pogue”, he explained after swallowing and his eyes were filled with anger.

“She’s what?! Damn, I didn’t see that coming”, John B said and took a sandwich on his own, putting the now empty plate aside. “I’m sorry, heartbreak is shitty.”

JJ huffed and clenched his jaw. “A heart can’t break when it wasn’t even whole to start with.”

Silent fell over them for a while and JJ took a deep breath. Ever since his mother had left them and his father turned into this...monster, he didn’t feel like he was whole. There was a void in his heart that no one had been able to fill. Emma had come close, giving him some kind of love that he had been missing over all those years and yet, that was gone too before it even started. He would probably never see her again and it made him so, so angry.

“Who’s her brother?”, JB asked after a while, trying to get JJ out of his head before he got deeper into any thoughts he shouldn’t think.

“I don’t know, it was dark and I had trouble seeing anything, ya know, being drunk and getting beaten up at the same time.” He didn’t want to sound so sarcastic but he couldn’t stop right now or else he would cry. It was a self mechanism kicking in, protecting him from pity and his friends from worry. “But you know what that means, right?”

“I’m not sure I like where this is going.” John B finished his sandwich and looked at JJ, whose whole body was tense now.

“It’s war. We pay those Kooks back, somehow. They’ll wish they never got that close to the Cut”, he growled and for a moment, John B could swear that his friend was changing even more.

The sweet innocent boy with the sad eyes from a few years back were gone, replaced by someone who just wanted revenge on the world.

In a way, John B could understand him. The anger, the fear, the sadness and he would stay by JJ’s side, no matter what.

There's so much more You can reclaim your crown You're in control Rid of the monsters inside your head Put all your faults to bed You can be king again

Revenge had this funny thing of never ending.

Pogues vs Kooks. Over and over again. At this point, it was mostly Rafe Cameron and his minions that was annoying them to no end. There wasn’t an exact moment where it had started but given their nature, it was easy for them to provoke people who had less than them. It was a rivalry that wouldn’t end that fast.

JJ and John B had made some more friends along the way, Pope Heyward and Kiara Carrera. The latter was actually a Kook but after a long time, JJ came to accept her into the group because he had proven herself. She was now one of them, a Pogue, something her parents and old ‘friends’ weren’t fond of.

He had found a little family within them. A family that didn’t ask many questions when they met up and he was all bruised. At this point, they all knew about his father and that they couldn’t change a thing. He was taking it in silence because he knew he had no other choice. The police wouldn’t care and given that he was at the station quite frequently, he didn’t want their help anyway.

Overall, authorities weren’t much of his thing. Too often disappointed by the police or his teacher when he was trying to get help without saying it outright because he just couldn’t. No one helped him, he was on his own, he had learned that. If you wanted something, you had to get it yourself. The only people he truly trusted were his friend and trust didn’t come easily with him.

Life had also this thing of throwing him rocks in the way. Well, this time, it was actually John B’s rock and it was quite a big one.

His father had gone on a trip to find ‘The Royal Merchant’ and never returned. The authorities didn’t take much time to declare him dead, boat in the storm, shit like that. His uncle was supposed to take care of John B now but well...he wasn’t the most reliable person on this island.

When it happened, John B had changed quite a bit, sadness and anger taking over him and the only person who was there for him was JJ. He was there all the way during the first three stages of grief and he would stay for the others too.

First came denial, neither of the boys wanted to accept the fact that Big John was dead. He could still be alive after all, just being lost somewhere. He might find his way home again, no one knew and yet, they claimed he was dead so they wouldn’t need to keep looking. JJ had almost beat up Shoupe at the news but seeing John B just sit in his living room in silence without being able to talk stopped him.

The world became meaningless for a while and JJ had to accept the fact that it was hurting him almost as much as it hurt John B. It wasn’t his own father that had gone missing but it almost hurt like it was because Big John had been quite a father figure to him all those years. The following days were filled with getting drunk and weed, trying to numb the feelings that were eating them up inside. Everything felt overwhelming at once and the boys were really happy they had Kie and Pope to keep them grounded, at least a little bit.

It didn’t take long for the denial to pass and suppression of feelings didn’t help anymore. the feelings they were trying to keep inside were coming to the surface and they were a handful.

Anger was red, anger was fire, anger was starting shit with some Kooks that ended up with the two boys being hurt pretty badly but they finally felt something other than pain on the inside. It helped them to feel alive again after all the numbness.. JJ and John B were at the Chateau, bruised and battered but damn, it had been worth it. It also got them quite the scolding from Kie.Sadly, society had always been afraid of anger but right now, it was the only anchor, especially for JJ who never really learned how to deal with his feelings with anything other than anger, his father had taught him that early on. Sometimes he wished he could control it but it never worked, his fist connecting with a face before he could even finish thinking about it.

Third was bargaining, something that JB would be doing for the next year until the truth would come out but right now, it was the only thing that kept him sane. JJ on the other hand wasn’t so sure anymore, he was already so done with being in grief. He already knew these feelings from when his mother had left and he hated all of them and yet, there was no way to stop them, they’ve tried that after all.

“I can’t believe he’s gone”, JJ said to his friend as they were laying on the pier, just chilling and watching the clouds move in peace.

“He’s not. I know he is alive, I can feel it”, John B said and sighed heavily.

JJ looked over at him and bit his bottom lip. The loss of Big John almost felt like he had lost his own father. He wasn’t sure if it was okay to feel like this because he knew that it hit John B way harder than him but Big John had always been an anchor in his life, someone he could go to when he had some real troubles even though he didn’t use this option much as he got older but it had always been there.

But now? Now every option was ripped away from him.

His mother? Off to somewhere, probably living a better life, one that she deserved. JJ understood that she had to leave because of his father being a violent bastard and her son being a worthless piece of shit. One look at him now would just prove the point. He skipped school, he got drunk and smoked weed on a regular basis, he might have a job but it was only paying enough so he could buy food and beer because his father was only buying one of those two things..

Speaking of, his father was still a bastard. After Big John’s death and John B’s uncle moving in for a while he didn’t have the chance to stay over as they needed to get their affairs in order. During that time he had to go home if he wanted to sleep in an actual bed and his father didn’t miss a chance to start beating him quite frequently again. JJ knows that he should defend himself, just punch back but at the same time, there was still that fearful child inside of him that screamed ‘No, just take it’. So he was doing just that. Maybe he would have the courage one day but right now, he was still too afraid.

Big John was out at sea, maybe dead, maybe alive, no one knew. Of course JJ would prefer it if the older man was still alive but the chances were small, he had to admit that. He wouldn’t say it outright to John B, leaving his best friend the little hope he had left.

“Let’s just hope your uncle manages to get his shit together so they don’t take you to the mainland”, JJ said and sighed heavily while sitting up to look at his feet dangling close to the water. He knew that child services would take his best friend away at some point if it wasn’t working out with his uncle and they only had foster care on the island. He wasn’t going to let that happen.

“I know he will, he’s already trying very hard”, John B said quite hopeful but one look from JJ and the blonde boy knew that his friend wasn’t so sure about that himself.

“I’ll sneak you out of here if I have to, off to Mexico or somewhere else”, JJ said and JB started to laugh a little.

“Thanks, I appreciate the effort.” John B smiled at his friend and JJ grinned back at him, giving him a thumb up.

“We’ll stay together, no matter what. Someone has to protect your dirty ass from the Kooks anyway.” JJ was pretty convinced he was the best person to protect the people from his group as he had the best right hook.

“Hey boys”, Kie said as she was arriving at the pier and both of them got up. “I bought some treats.” She held up a basket with food and beer and JJ grinned at her.

“That’s my girl”, he said and was about to reach over to grab himself a bottle of beer but she just held the basket away.

“First, not your girl. Second, these are for later”, she said and pushed him away with a hand slightly.

JJ held both of his hands over his heart. “Ouch, you wound me.”

Kie just rolled her eyes and she and John B got on the boat. They had planned to go to the marsh together today, just forgetting the world around them with a small party on their own. It had become one of their favourite places.

“Sorry, I’m late!”, Pope said and came running, breathing heavily.

“Whoa calm down there before you pass out”, JJ said and clapped his friend on the back who was bending over, hand on his knees, trying to catch a breath.

JJ and Pope got on the boat too and John B was starting the motor. They had no idea what was coming up for them during the next year.

The bargaining would soon enough become depression and acceptance with a lot of more rocks in their way.

The blonde boy was standing at the helm, steering the small boat to the marsh and smiled a little to himself.

Life wasn’t perfect but it was good enough for him. His found family was there for him if his biological family wasn’t. His father would probably never change and yet, he sometimes felt that Luke loved him, somewhere deep down between the surface, between all the anger and the drinking.

He promised to himself that he would stand up to his father one day, that he would escape the poverty he had grown up with. He never wanted to be hungry again, never wanted to steal to survive.

One day he would get out of this life and make something out of it. He may hate his mother to some degree but she always wanted something better for him.

He wanted to make her proud. He wanted to make his friends proud.

Most of all he wanted to stop feeling worthless and he would find a way to do that.

He also promised to himself he would never lose someone again that was important to him and he would do everything for his friends.

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