#sorry for being gone it will happen again
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TO FEEL WHOLE AGAIN — BOOTHILL
synopsis: getting pregnant and left by yourself wasn’t in your plans in life at all, but you end up meeting a man who becomes more than just a friend who’s willing to help.
❥- pairings : boothill x fem!reader
❥- note : so sorry for any inactivity !! life has just been a wreck, but i’m here with a little idea I came up with the other night. i hope you all enjoy <3 reblogs are appreciated !!
content warnings : sfw, fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, pregnancy, abandonment, heavy angst, breakups, mentions of abortion (reader does not have one), mentions of alcohol, human!boothill, angst with happy ending, use of pet names (darling + lovely), fluff, very fluffy things.
You can recall the day you met Boothill like it was the back of your hand.
It was the day your life had begun a completely new journey, but also, the same day that your life had completely fallen apart within just twenty four hours. Every memory was ingrained in your brain like it was never meant to go away. How could things end up going right, but so wrong at the same time?
About seven months prior, you found yourself sitting inside of a bar with tears still staining your cheeks from the incident that had occurred just hours beforehand. Your heart had gleamed, but shattered just minutes after. You questioned why something like this had happened to you. You never wronged anybody. Sure, you weren’t the most perfect person to exist, but as humans, it’s in their nature to make mistakes. Yet, god had different plans for you and they weren’t exactly the most pleasing ones.
Just two days before that day, you had found out you were pregnant.
It came by total surprise. You and your boyfriend weren’t exactly trying for kids, but you both had been together for four years at that point. You noticed something was off about you when your period suddenly missed its usual day, and you were experiencing some very odd symptoms that were unusual. After some convincing from your friends, you decided to go out and purchase a pregnancy test which came back positive. You didn’t know what to feel. You were excited, nervous, emotional, but most of all, anxious. You didn’t know how to break the news to your boyfriend and you weren’t sure whether or not you wanted to keep it.
For a few days, you didn’t say anything to him. You weren’t the best with words and you didn’t want to dump something so sudden onto him either, but he eventually figured it out when he found you one morning throwing up your breakfast into the toilet.
He wasn’t angry or upset, but you knew something wasn’t right with him after he found out. He started to become somewhat distant and he avoided any conversation about the baby growing inside you. Then, that same day you ended up at the bar, you had woken up to him gone. All of his items and personal belongings had been cleaned out, and when you tried to get a hold of him, he just completely ghosted you. You didn’t understand. Was it you? Was it the baby? Why did he just up and leave you like that with zero hesitation? It was like your heart had been shattered into pieces and you didn’t know what to do. He left you alone and pregnant with his child.
Completely brokenhearted and confused, that’s how you ended up in the bar. No, you weren’t drinking any alcohol, but there was a part of you that wanted to head to the clinic and terminate the pregnancy all together. You couldn’t raise a baby on your own. You had seen many stories of mothers defying the odds and managing, but would you be able to? You loved your now ex boyfriend more than life itself. You didn’t think you could fall in love again, and what man would want a single mother as a girlfriend? Most of them would scurry away the second it’s brought up. It wasn’t their job to shame you for whatever choices you made.
The bar's atmosphere was buzzing with people chatting amongst themselves. Despite being around people, you still felt completely isolated inside of it. You kept thinking of the choices in your brain over and over again. It was consuming you, and you didn’t think you were in the right state of mind to make that decision right now.
You were brought out of your thoughts when the bartender placed a glass in front of you. It was filled with some kind of alcohol that looked like it could be a margarita or a martini. Your brows furrowed at the sight of the beverage. You didn’t order it. “U-Um.. sir, I didn’t order this.” you pushed the glass towards the man behind the bar who was cleaning some cups used earlier.
“I know, but that man over there did.” he pointed towards the other end of the bar.
You turned your attention to where he was motioning his hand. Your eyes widened a little at the sight of the man who sat a few seats away from you. He had a cowboy hat on top of his head, and very long hair that stretched past his chair. He was wearing a white button up shirt that exposed his chest just a little. He noticed you were staring at him and winked at you, then waved a little. It didn’t seem creepy or strange, but you didn’t know how to react. Despite feeling the way you did, you couldn’t help but think how handsome he was. He had a cunning smile and seemed like one of those cowboys you would have heard of in stories you heard when you were younger, but you knew you couldn’t accept his drink.
Soon enough, you turned away and just pushed your drink from your reach. You didn’t want to do anything stupid. If it came off as rude, then so be it. You weren’t about to fight with another man this evening.
You decided to check your phone. There was a small bit of hope that was in your heart. You hoped that maybe your ex reached out to you to fix things or maybe had something to say, but unfortunately, there was nothing. You had a few random notifications from friends, but otherwise, it was silence on the other end. God, you felt like an idiot. He was gone for good. Men who do that shit typically fall off the face of the earth and never come back again.
“Hey, sweetheart, mind if I take this spot next to ya?”
You practically jumped out of your skin at the sudden voice that spoke beside you. Your head snapped towards the sound, and you were a bit surprised to see that man who was sitting across the bar now standing next to you. His cologne filled your nose. It smelled of deep wood with a mix of pine.
Your words got caught in your throat. Was he doing this to make you uncomfortable? Part of you wanted to ignore him, but he wasn’t necessarily doing anything wrong. “N-No! Go ahead.. it’s empty anyway..” you replied, trying to avoid his eyes that were boring holes into your face.
The man plopped beside you, taking a swig of his glass that seemed to be filled with some kind of whisky. He was quiet, at first. You weren’t sure if striking up a conversation was in your cards tonight. You were honestly too lost in your thoughts, and somewhat a little nauseated. “So, uh, do ya come around here often? You’re quite the peach if I say so myself.” he placed his cheek against his fist which was resting against the table beside him.
“I don’t..” you replied, dryly.
He seemed a little discouraged by your sudden lack of enthusiasm. It wasn’t your intention, but really, you weren’t interested. “I see.. my name’s Boothill.” he said. “Yours?”
Your eyes flickered towards him then back at the soda can that your hand was wrapped around. This was starting to feel awkward or almost like a forced conversation. You didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but you wanted him to take the hint. “(Y/N)..” you looked at your cell phone to try and avoid him. “Look.. I-I appreciate the drink, but I’m not really interested in a relationship. I just don’t.. I..”
Before you were even able to finish your sentence, tears began to trickle down your cheeks. You didn’t even know you were holding them in until they began to slip from your eyes.
Boothill was taken back by your sudden tears. He immediately felt guilt wash over him. He didn’t mean to come off as a weirdo or forceful towards you. That’s the last thing he would ever do. “Hey.. I’m sorry, shit, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I-I can totally take the drink back and get out of your hair.” he stood up out of his chair to leave the bar.
You started to wipe your cheeks of any liquid that was on them. “N-No, it’s alright, it’s not you..” you shook your head. “I’ve just had a rough couple of hours.. believe me, it’s not you at all.”
The man was unsure of what to reply with. Regardless, he felt very bad for you. Not many people come into bars to weep. Most of the time, they come to do the opposite and use the drinks to numb any negative feelings they have. He didn’t want to pry by any means. “I see.. I’m still sorry, darlin’ I had no idea..” he paused for a moment thinking of what to say next. “If you wanna talk, I’m willing to listen, can’t guarantee I’m any good at advice, but I can be an open ear.”
You weren’t sure if venting your feelings to a complete stranger would make any difference in how you felt. It's not like he would care much anyway. He would probably look at you with that same look every other person had given you when you told them what your ex did.
However, you were completely wrong.
That day you told Boothill everything that had happened to you. He was completely blown away when you confessed that you were pregnant. He kept apologizing for the drink and was somewhat worried that you felt disrespected, but you didn’t take any offense. It’s not like he knew, nor were you even showing at that point.
Although he didn’t know you, he had a lot of sympathy for you. He told you that your boyfriend wasn’t a man, but a young boy who couldn’t take responsibility for his actions and he didn’t deserve you by any means. Boothill felt as if abandoning a woman and her child was the sickest thing you could ever do in this life, and you couldn’t help but agree. Especially after spending many years together.
It felt kind of nice to have someone listen. Even if he was some random person you didn’t know, there was at least somebody out there who was willing to give you the time of day.
You felt a little dull when you realized you would probably never see Boothill again, but you thanked him many times for his patience. He was even sweet enough to walk you back to your apartment which wasn’t very far from the bar at all. Typically, you weren’t so trusting when it came to men in general, but Boothill’s energy felt secure for some reason. You didn’t feel fear or unease around him. Your body would always give you signs someone wasn’t good, but you were calm and didn’t have a single issue.
For a little while, you wondered if keeping the child was the right option, but after a lot of conversations with your friends and family, and oddly enough, Boothill, you decided to go forward with the pregnancy.
You thought you would have to do it alone, but that changed almost instantly when you started receiving random items at your doorstep one morning.
You had a stable job, but you knew babies weren’t a walk in the park financially. Your parents offered to help pay for whatever was necessary, but you felt bad for making them do such a thing. It all started to shift when you discovered a package outside your apartment door. You had a box of different supplies. Baby shampoo, baby bottles, wipes, lotions. It was basic necessities for an infant and you were a bit confused how they showed up there. You questioned your parents but they denied ordering anything of the sorts, so you wondered who gifted it to you.
Your friends were also clueless. They had gifts in mind but they weren’t planning on purchasing anything that early on in your pregnancy. You hadn’t even planned on a baby shower or anything of the sorts.
It didn’t take long for more things to arrive. One morning, you saw that you had been given some baby toys. They were small and quite cute, but you still had yet to discover who was the one leaving them at your doorstep. You wondered if it was potentially your ex trying to somehow compensate you for deserting you, but would he really? He left you alone with the baby. It was clear enough that he wasn’t interested in helping to raise it, so why put in the effort to accommodate you? He could care less about you.
It all changed when you were leaving your apartment one afternoon. You had an appointment at the doctor’s office to check on how the baby was doing, and standing right beside your front door was not your ex, but Boothill.
At first, you didn’t notice him holding a box of items in his hand, but the realization soon took over that he was the one buying the gifts. You were taken by complete surprise. The two of you had hardly interacted much during that time period, so it did confuse you why he was helping you. He wasn’t obligated to just because you informed him of what your ex did. It wasn’t like you were begging him for money or assistance either. Boothill was just as surprised to see you there too. He usually would stop by when he knew you wouldn’t be around, but he knew sooner or later the truth would come out.
With a flushed face, Boothill began to explain himself.
He told you that he just couldn’t let you go on that journey alone. He knew it wasn’t his responsibility to be buying you things or even being involved in your life like that, but at the same time, he couldn’t sleep at night knowing that you were all alone and there wasn’t anybody else to be there for you. He did apologize if it made you uncomfortable and he wouldn’t come around again if that was the case.
However, you told him the opposite. You were very thankful for what he had been doing for you. Not many men would step up and just go out of their way to buy things for a baby that wasn’t theirs. You told him you were very appreciative of what he had done, and he could come around as often as he liked. It was kind of lonely being by yourself all of the time. Your friends weren’t always the most available, and you lived on your own. It felt nice to know that somebody wanted to spend time with you. He was relieved that you weren’t weirded out or upset with his actions. He wanted to do the right thing.
Much to his surprise, you invited him to come to your ultrasound that day, and he was thrilled.
Your interactions grew over the course of a few months. You started seeing him everyday and he came around whenever you needed something. Boothill didn’t mind spending his days with you. It was a joy to watch your belly grow and to see your baby begin to become larger than it was before. His favorite moments were when he’d feel a small kick or movement. He loved kids. It was a guilty pleasure of his, and he honestly couldn’t wait to meet your baby girl. He made so many bets that it was going to be a girl and you thought he would somehow be wrong, but he was right the entire time.
Along with the baby's growth, there were also feelings between you and Boothill too. He was the first man in your life since your ex and he treated you so much better. He did everything for you, and the baby wasn’t even his. He would spend time helping you tidy up your house, holding your hair away from your face when you had morning sickness, making you tea, giving you massages whenever your body felt sore. Boothill did everything. He even offered at one point to do the entire nursery for you when your due date came closer, but you assured him that it wasn’t his duty to do so.
But, he planned on doing it anyway.
All of your friends told you to go for it. They said that Boothill was what you needed and they could tell he was into you too, but you were still unsure. If anything, he could be doing all of this just to somehow hurt you in the end or claim you “owed” him a relationship for doing everything for the baby. You knew that probably wasn’t the case, but you were still on the fence.
But, was he?
-
That afternoon, you had woken up from a nap to a knocking coming from your front door. You weren’t expecting any guests, but you had already assumed it was Boothill who was there to do his usual drop by to check in on you.
You unlocked the front door, pulling it open so he could enter. He was dressed in his usual outfit. A white button shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and those cowboy boots that you had made fun of a few times. Boothill was used to just entering your place at that point. “Afternoon, darlin’” he said, shutting the door behind him.
Your hair was a bit messy from your nap and you weren’t really dressed up. You wore an oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts that sat just below your belly. It was a lot more comfortable than the regular pajamas you were used to wearing months ago, but alas, the growth of your body had made those a lot less comfortable these days. Boothill still thought you were gorgeous despite the messy look. “Hi..” you yawned. “Sorry, I’m fresh from a nap. I didn’t hear my alarm..”
“Not a problem, I was just stopping by to drop something off for you.” he replied, handing you a box that had your name on top of it.
Your eyes flickered from the box to the man who was staring down at you. You were used to him giving you random things for the baby here and there, so you were expecting something that was a necessity. “I’m curious, let me see.” you then began opening at the box to see what was inside of it.
After a few seconds, you pulled out a small blanket, but it wasn’t one that was from the store. It was actually homemade, and right in the center was the baby name you had picked out stitched into the fabric with baby pink lace. It was probably the most adorable thing you had ever received from him. It was so soft and you could already picture yourself swaddling your little girl in the blanket itself. The fact that it was homemade as well made it even more special than it already was.
You weren’t sure if it was the pregnancy emotions or not, but you could feel warm tears burning your eyes. It was truthfully making you feel so happy for this pregnancy, but most of all for Boothill. You couldn’t be more blessed with a man like him. “I-I.. I love it..” you sniffled, trying to hide your tears. “It’s so cute..”
Boothill was concerned with your sudden emotions. He didn’t mean to make you cry. If anything, he wanted to do something special for you since you were a special person in his life. “Ahh.. shit, I’m sorry, lovely, is it too much?” he asked, nodding his head.
You shook your head, laughing in the process to try and halt the tears slipping through your eyes. It was the furthest thing from too much. You adored it. You didn’t care if the stitching was a little crooked or if the pink was somewhat bright, it was cute. It had to be one of the best gifts you had ever gotten. “N-No! I love it! It’s something I wouldn’t have imagined you’d give me! Did you do it all on your own?” you looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Haha.. yeah, that’s why it might seem a little messy. I got the idea though and figured why not? You need something to swaddle that little monster with!” he smiled, which made you smile as well.
Boothill was taken back when he suddenly felt your arms wrap around him. This was the first time you had ever initiated any sort of physical contact with him, and he wasn’t sure how to react to it. Your body felt warm and your belly was against his own abdomen. He could smell the scent of your shampoo lingering in your hair, and it almost intoxicated him from how delicious it smelled. He hesitated for a brief moment, then settled his own arms around your waist. It just felt.. so right to be hugging you. He had yearned for quite a while to feel your touch, and now that he had it, he wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip through his fingers.
Your cheeks felt hot at the realization that you two were so close. There was so much going through your mind at the moment, and all you craved was him. His presence, his touch, his warmth, anything. It was all you wanted. “Boothill.. I want you there when she’s born..” you spoke, softly. “I want you by my side.. you deserve that more than anybody else.”
His eyes grew wide at your words. Sure, he knew he was going to visit when your baby was finally born, but in the room? During the birth? Oh, he could faint right about now. “Of course I’ll be there, sugar. You know I wouldn’t miss it.” he replied, smiling at the thought of your birth.
Boothill then crouched down to meet your belly. He hadn’t ever done that before while being with you. You felt his hands touch your stomach, seemingly searching for your little girl who was somewhere in there. It felt so natural for him to be doing this. You didn’t feel off or weirded out. You loved the way his fingers explored your skin, touching and grazing at the stretch marks that had formed within time, but what you loved the most, was him.
“Can’t wait to meet your little one.. she’ll be a peach, I know it.” he looked up at you with a grin.
“Our.. little one.”
Boothill paused when the words slipped from your lips. He thought he had misheard you for a second. “W-What..?” his brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
You felt a little bashful having to repeat yourself. You weren’t sure what his reaction might be to you saying such a thing, but you couldn’t keep quiet anymore about your feelings. You wanted him involved in your daughter’s life so badly. It would kill you inside if that wasn’t the case. “O-Our.. baby, Boothill.” you said, avoiding his gaze that was fixed on you.
He stood up, still staring at your face with a serious expression. It was like his heart had completely blown up inside of his chest. It was like he was falling in love with you all over again at that very moment. He couldn’t feel more honored that you thought of him that way. “You’re serious..?” he questioned, looking into your eyes.
“Y-Yes.. god, yes, Boothill. I don’t care if she’s not technically yours.. in the end, I want you in her life, and mine too. I can’t imagine a life without you..” you whispered, intertwining your fingers with his.
He couldn’t hide his wide smile at your confession. All of the love he had swallowed down was now completely overflowing, and he didn’t mind whatsoever. You were so beautiful. He adored you so much, and he was more than happy to call you his girlfriend. He was also thrilled to have a daughter. He could care less if people would judge him for raising a child that wasn’t his. He was more of a father to her than any other man would be.
He suddenly pulled you close to him, pressing a kiss onto your lips. It was so passionate and loving. He couldn’t stop himself. It was like he was finally able to have what he wanted, and it felt amazing. “I love you so much, darling, you don’t even know how deep my love runs for you..” he pressed his forehead against your own. “I’d die for you and our little angel..”
A grin appeared on your face. This was all you ever wanted to hear. You didn’t think you would ever have the opportunity to hear him say such things, but you couldn’t be happier it was coming true. “I love you more, Boothill.” you then placed his hand on your belly. “And I know she does too..”
The both of you couldn’t be more excited at that moment. It was all perfect. You had everything you ever wanted. Neither of you imagined that this life would be in front of you now, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
© NXUVILLETTE ┆ all rights reserved, do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.
#·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ official work !#boothill x reader#boothill x you#boothill x y/n#boothill fluff#boothill fanfiction#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#star rail x reader#star rail x you#hsr x reader#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#hsr fluff#star rail fluff#honkai star rail fluff#honkai star rail fanfiction#hsr fanfic
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I Didn't Want This Either
l Luke Hughes l masterlist l part 1 l
* warning: death *
"Can we talk?" Jack knocked on the window of Luke's car. He didn't like what he was going to ask Luke, but he needed to get the conversation over with.
"What's up?" Luke watched as Jack fiddled with the sleeve of his jacket.
Jack took a deep breath in, counted to five, before let out the inhaled air.
"I know this is never probably going to happen, but I just want to be prepared just in case. because you never know what could happen. and Addie agrees with me, for once, I know it's crazy.
"Jack spit it out."
"Now that I have two kids. I've been thinking more about what happens to them if something happens to us. And I think I want you to raise them if we can't." The older brother asked of the younger one.
"Jack, I don't know." Luke contemplated what he was being asked, which was really nothing, but he knew. "Isn't there anyone better for the job? Mom? Quinn?"
"No, Luke. Quinn and Liv have enough going on and Mom and Dad don't need to raising two little kids after the raised us." Jack explained. "Plus you're great with them and they love you so much. Please Lukey."
"Fine"
"Great! I'll add you to daycare pick up." Jack reached over to give his brother an awkward hug before they went on with their separate ways.
--
"You're pretty." Jack chanced a glanced over at his beautiful wife. They had just dropped the kids off at daycare and were on their way to the rock.
"You're not too bad yourself Mr. Hughes" Addie said scrunching her nose at the man next to her.
"I'll talk to Luke or Nico today, maybe one of them can take the kids and we can have tonight." He kept looking back and forth from the road to his wife.
"Jack watch the road please." She clenched her jaw. There was traffic all around them, making her feel a bit nervous.
"What Ads? It's fine." Jack's eyes left the road again to look at his wife.
"Jack!"
Jack never saw the car until it was too late.
--
"Shit. Shit. Shit." Luke jumped out of bed. He scrambled to get ready for practice when the brain fog cleared and he saw it was after 10 am already.
He was so late. His alarms must not have gone off or something, because he was never late for practice. And here he was going to be late for the first time in forever.
Luke chose to forgo his usual morning routine and caffeinated beverage, thinking it might give a chance to get to the practice facility faster.
He was almost there when the traffic started to picked up. There must have been an accident. All sorts of emergency vehicles were surrounding the area.
As Luke got closer to the heart of the situation he noticed a two crumpled up cars. A silver one and a very familiar looking green one.
Luke got a good long look at the wreck as he passed it. Two white sheets littered the ground, the car accident must have been that bad that people died.
That's why there was so much commotion.
He felt bad for the family that was going learn the news that they lost people they loved. Little did he know his phone was blowing up at the moment, messages and phone calls from his parents and brother, family members, teammates, and close friends with that specific news.
The now super late hockey player got to his destination only an hour later than he was supposed to be there. He thought it was a bit odd how the normally packed parking garage was near empty. Where was everyone?
"Luke what are you doing here?" Nico frowned at the defensemen who was trying to get ice ready as fast as he could.
"I know I'm late. I didn't set my alarm and then there was some big accident. I'll do extra of whatever you want. I'm sorry." Luke finishing up lacing his skates up. If he had been looking at Nico eye's went wide at the mention of the accident.
"Practice was cancelled a couple of hours ago."
"Why would they do that we have a game tomorrow?"
"The league is thinking of postponing it"
"Why?" he stopped what he was doing to look up at his captain. There was a feeling in the room, there was something seriously wrong.
Luke finally glanced around the empty locker room, it held the same odd feeling that the lot had.
"Um. Have you looked at your phone lately?" The older man scratched the back of his head nervously.
Luke furrowed his brows at the question. No, he hadn't looked at his phone, he had been a little busy trying to get there as quickly as he could, the action didn't feel necessary at the time.
But now a bad sinking feeling was telling him that maybe he should.
He had a total of 19 missed calls from him Mom, Dad, and Quinn alone. Not to mention the other various voicemails that completely filled the digital voicemail box was completely filled. On top of that there were over a hundred txt messages from a variety of people.
There was even a message from Jack, a simple heart emoji followed by an 'i luv ya bro,' that was timestamped hours before everything else.
"Nico, what's going on?" His voice hitched after he read a txt from Trevor that read 'i just heard about j. i'm so sorry.' When Luke looked up from the device he took note that Nico was now accompanied by their new coach and a few devils' personal.
"Luke you should call your parents back" The captain picked at the skin around his fingers.
"No just tell me. What's going on?" He thumbed through his device trying to decipher the
"Let's take this somewhere a little more private. Yeah?" The group of higher ups attempted to usher then to a different room a little more quiet and appropriate to have this conversation. Luke shook them off, wanting them to just spit it out.
"Say it Nico" Luke shook them off. He wanted Nico to just spit it out. He was tired of this go around and the hesitation
Nico sighed heavily. He didn't want to be the one to tell his friend the news, it would be better if it were coming from a family member, but they were all on there way to New Jersey at moment. So he had to do his best.
"There was an accident" Nico began to say. Luke felt his heart beat faster, and a pit forming in his stomach as he realized what Nico was telling him. Maybe this would have been better coming from his mom or dad, hell even Quinn.
"Jack and Addie were in the car-" Nico continued. That green car that look familiar. Jack had a green car.
"No no no no no no no." He covered his ears in an attempted to block out what Nico was telling him. This wasn't happening.
"they didn't make it." Nico finished. He put his hand on Luke's shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. The kind gesture didn't help anyeay as Luke grabbed the nearest garbage pail and emptied the contents of his stomach in it.
It was true. It couldn't be true. Jack wasn't dead. This was all just some sort of prank, a sick joke. Jack was going to walk around the corner and say sike.
He need to get out of there. Anywhere but there. He had this pain in chest, and it was hard to breath anytime he thought of his brother.
He got in his car and drove without a destination in mind. He drove and drove until he found himself in a deserted mall parking lot, not another car or person in sight.
Luke sat in his perfectly fine car and screamed. There wasn't anyone around, so no one would be able to judge him. Not that he cared. He needed to get his emotions out.
Why Jack? Why couldn't have been him? If only he had been on time today, maybe it would have been him in that accident and Jack would still be alive.
He had been receiving texts all day. Luke ignored all of them. A few people called, he ignored those too. Ellen had been calling him at least once every hour, but he still refused to talk to her.
There was one number that had been persistently calling him, even more than his mother had. Maybe she had gotten a hold of a phone and was calling from that. He didn't know, but he finally decided to answer the call.
"Hello, this is Kiya over at Happy Times nursery, am I speaking to Luke?" The very peppy and friendly lady ask.
"Yeah, I've been a little busy, what is this pertaining too?" He mumbled his reply confirming it was him.
"Good, good. We've been trying to reach Jack or Addie for a couple of hours now seein that it is well past pick up time for Lucy and Felix. We were just wondering if someone was on their way to retrieve them. They are our last kids for the night and we would like to go home."
Shit
Let me know what you guys think!
#luke hughes#jack hughes#luke hughes imagine#jack hughes imagine#luke hughes fic#nhl imagine#nhl blurb#nhl fic#Luke Hughes x reader
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Did I cross the line?
➼Author: orshii
➼Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader
➼Word count: 4 k
➼Summary: On Valentine's Day in Paris, a romantic trip with your boyfriend, takes a painful turn when unresolved feelings about his ex-girlfriend, who was once your best friend, resurface. Despite the love between you, the past threatens to tear you apart. Through heartfelt conversations, you confront your insecurities and reaffirm your commitment, realizing that to move forward, you must leave the past behind.
➼A/N: Well...here I am again with a Hongjoong drabble, and this little something was born because of Billie Eilish's new song. And it was completely inspired by it, so please please, listen to the song and pay attention to the lyrics so you will understand the story more. I just love it, it's such a beautiful song and I can't get it out of my mind...just as well Hongjoong haha...Anyway, I am not sure this is what I wanted, but this happened so enjoy! Byee...--also, sorry for any mistakes :'(... (divider)
Things fall apart, and time breaks your heart, but it also heals your soul, allowing you to feel like a normal human on this chaotic Earth. It's much harder when you're alone, but if you find someone who is always by your side and supports you unconditionally, you become unstoppable. Nothing can come your way when they are next to you and cheering for you on the side to chase your dreams. When you find the mate of your soul, you think nothing can stop you from now on.
Except... sometimes, despite everything, you grow farther apart because of a tiny reason, turning what was once promising into something that couldn’t bloom or burn with passion.
This is the reason why I am crying in a hotel room in Paris, the city of love on Valentine’s Day, with my heart broken into thousands of pieces. How ironic life can be. It's the day of love and I'm in the city of love, yet I never felt more disappointed in love ever. The broken pieces of my heart are cutting me from the inside, I want to scream from the pain, but I have never been quieter in my life, my voice got lost between the sharp pieces of my heart.
Our trip to the city of love started like a cliché straight from a romantic movie. We decided with my boyfriend, Hongjoong, that we were going to travel to Paris for a little break, as we both needed it, we were overwhelmed with work, and we barely saw each other. And Valentine's Day was a perfect excuse for both of us, to celebrate our love, that just started to bloom. Our relationship began six months ago, and it was a maze until we finally understood each other and found our way through the dark, complicated labyrinth of each other's hearts.
We wandered around the city with our hands interlaced, never letting go for even a minute. We felt locked together, forever. Throughout the day we visited a lot of museums and the typical sights of Paris, that being the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower. When the both of us were on top of the Eiffel Tower, the wind was so strong up there, that we could barely see the city down there. The air was chilly, as it was mid-winter. The clouds were gone, and the snow had already melted away, leaving behind only the cold.
I stared at Hongjoong, my hair in my face, giggling as he took pictures of me. The photos came out blurry but full of happiness. The sun that slowly approached its lowest spread an orange blanket over the city, lighting it with all shades of orange. I looked next to me, where Hongjoong was smiling. I saw him in slow-motion, as he was looking down at the orange city, the sun's beams lighting his beautifully shaped face, his jawline sharp, his cheekbones high, his eyes in the shape of a crescent moon as he was smiling. The wind blew very slightly on his brown hair alongside his elegant black clothes.
And his smile... that was why I fell in love with him so deeply that I couldn't escape. His smile was so perfect and wide, full of humanity, with sincerity that immediately caught me off-guard because I didn't believe in the fact, that perfect humans on this Earth existed. But as soon as I saw him, I knew it was just a lie, because with time every human being finds their perfect mate for their soul, no matter if someone sees them as imperfect. For you, they are always going to be perfect.
After coming down from the tower, we wanted to do one last thing: put a padlock on the famous bridge where people place padlocks to symbolize their love, as the saying goes, 'Lasts until forever'. And as it was Valentine's Day and we were in the city of love, to make it cheesier we bought a red padlock to put it on the bridge.
"So did you enjoy yourself today?" Hongjoong asked looking at me with his adoringly beautiful smile, as we were walking towards the bridge.
"This was the happiest day of my life Hongjoong." I looked at him with loving eyes, tears almost appearing in my eyes as I was very overwhelmed by the fact of how much I loved him. "Thank you."
"Come here, my little bun." He pulled me by my hand that was interlaced with his and hugged me strongly I felt like he might break my bones, as we were at the end of the bridge. He pecked the top of my head and slowly separated from me, leaving little distance between us, just to cup my face into his warm hand. Chills ran through my body as I felt his warm hand on my cold and red face, he immediately warmed me up with only one slight touch.
"I love to see you happy." He said his voice a little childish as he was saying it adorably. He tugged my hair behind my air. "I'm happy if you are too."
"You are too cheesy, what happened to you?" I looked at him suspiciously.
He chuckled at that. "You happened; I can't help it." He slowly leaned closer to me and slightly pecked my lips with his. Then he looked at me and smiled like I was the only human being on Earth.
"So, it's my fault?" I whispered onto his lips, that still hovered over mine.
"Yes, it is." His eyes were on my lips, as he whispered the words sweetly.
Then he closed the distance again between our lips and kissed me more passionately, putting his heart into the kiss, giving it to me so I could keep it safely in my imaginary safe made out of unbreakable metal, but sometimes that metal can get infected and it can crack and that hurts. As I kissed him back my lips slowly moving against his, the world was gone around us, and I did the same with my heart, giving it to him, so he could keep my heart wherever he wanted to. I hoped our hearts belonged to the other and no one else.
"Let's put that silly padlock on." He said as we separated from the kiss, caressing my cold cheeks.
I just nodded and took his hand to lead him through the bridge's middle.
"It's nice to be back in here." He said as we were looking around, observing the padlocks people already left there.
"Have you been here before?" I asked him surprised with a frown.
Suddenly his expression changed, as we stopped in the middle of the bridge, people around us walking and smiling, the sky had already gone dark, and only the street lights showed the way.
"Well…yes." He scratched the back of his head, averting my eyes.
"I didn't know, when?" He acted strange all of a sudden and I didn’t know why.
"Last year—with… Hana." He slowly looked up, to see my reaction.
I gulped and my heart started to race quickly as I heard her name. I really wanted to stay calm it wasn't the time to argue again as he knew it was an uncomfortable topic between us.
I nodded barely visible. "I see…" I looked down on my hands. "And did you like—were here?" My voice came out strange, it lost its power as I pointed at the padlocks.
"Y—yes," Hongjoong said noticing as my expression changed very quickly. He stepped closer to me to hold my hands. I just looked down at our hands and then at the padlocks. "But it was in the past and you know it, Y/N. I want to do this with you." He reached his hands towards my face, but before he could touch it, I stopped him.
"Well, I don't want to anymore." My voice came out serious, my face looked hurt and disappointed. I stepped back, putting distance between us.
"C'mon, Y/N. You can't be serious." He stepped closer to me and I stepped back again on that. He scoffed at that. "Why can't you put it all behind you? It was a long time ago."
"Because she's everywhere I go, Hongjoong, anything I do with you has to do something with her." Tears started to well up in my eyes.
"It's not, you just made it up here," He pointed at his temple."…because you can't get over it, Y/N." He seemed upset as his voice got more serious.
I scoffed at that in disbelief. "So, now you think I'm crazy?"
It is very unpredictable how everything can change from heaven to hell.
"No, you are not crazy, but you definitely can't let go of the past and be in the present…with me." Hongjoong said running his fingers through his brown short hair.
"What can I do, when all the time I see her face, everywhere." I lifted my arms helplessly. "In our daily life, in our home…in your eyes." One tear slowly escaped my left eye.
"When will you understand she is nothing to me now?" He stepped closer to me, disappointment showing on his face. "When will you understand you are my everything? That I love you and no one else." His voice got lower, weaker.
"I know that you love me, you don't need to remind me like it's an obligation." I looked at him already feeling so far away from him.
Hongjoong scoffed at that. "What are you talking about?"
"You always sound like you have to assure me you love me." I looked down at the ground, where our shadows melted into each other. I just wanted to hide from him. "I am sure you love me. But…it's just a feeling I can't shake."
"You have no idea what are you talking about. Can't you get that you are my fucking world Y/N?" I felt as he stared at me with deadly eyes, growing more furious.
Stressed, I ran my fingers through my hair, tears streaming down my face. "But you aren't mine," I barely said out loud, knowing he could hear me.
I couldn't see his expression as he stood there in silence for a moment.
"You think so?" he asked, his voice calmer.
I just nodded, unable to look up.
He chuckled and came closer to me, his breath close to my face. "So, let's make it fair, then. Shall we?" His voice was like a threat. Then he grabbed the padlock from my hand and threw it away into the water. I stared at him, my eyes wide in shock. "I wanted to make you happy, to do cheesy things like this. But if you can't understand, let's just stop."
"I never wanted to fight," I mumbled.
"But we always do, Y/N." He lifted his eyebrows as he looked at me, disappointed. "It wasn't like this before."
"What do you mean?" I asked him, confused.
"I mean, when we started, it was nice. We were happy, no arguing. But you kept looking into my past and everything changed." He looked into my eyes, tired of the arguments.
"Because she was always there in the back of my mind." I sniffled and wiped away a tear.
"She isn't now. But you can't see it." He shook his head slightly.
"Honestly…I don't know if I can be with someone who can't let go of the past…" I snapped my head up at that, his face was nothing but serious without any emotions. My heart started to race more quickly than before.
"Hongjoong…" I stepped closer to him with regret on my face.
"No." Now he was the one who stepped back, and my heart started to crack. "I am tired of this, you have to let go of our past and be present completely, not only with half of your heart." He said those words like it was venom and it flew right into my lungs poisoning it so I couldn't breathe anymore.
"We will talk when you finally manage to do that." He put his hands into his pockets and just passed by me like we suddenly became two strangers, leaving me there on the bridge where we could've locked our love forever, he left me with a heart suddenly broken into millions of pieces.
Did I cross the line?
The thing is Hana was Hongjoong's ex-girlfriend and my best friend.
My best friend and Hongjoong got together three years ago and broke up last summer. And it wasn't particularly because of me, well I played a little part in that as well, but they just always argued about little annoying things and I was the one who reconciled them. I'm not sure when it happened, but the more I was hanging out with my best friend and her boyfriend the more I felt something wasn't right. I started to feel something towards Hongjoong and I knew it wasn’t right so I quickly buried it deep down into my soul, so no one would know it.
I watched them through these years when they were arguing and when they hated each other, but they always made up at the end of the day and everyone was happy.
Not until one day, Hongjoong found out Hana cheated on him. That day was a disaster because the more time I spent with Hongjoong, the closer I grew to him. I considered him a friend and liked him. I could talk about things with him, that I didn’t even tell my best friend. It was hard to take sides, to be honest, it was cruel of my best friend but at the same time she was my best friend and I needed to be by her side. She was crying on my shoulder even though she fucked all of this up. Slowly, Hongjoong walked out of our lives, and it didn't feel right for some reason. Not seeing him every day, not knowing what he was doing, made my heart ache for some reason and I was so confused.
Not until July.
We accidentally ended up at the same event connected to our work and started talking. We talked, but like we just met, like we didn't know each other before like Hana didn't even exist. I felt guilty of course but sometimes people have to be selfish, for their own sake. We had a deep connection with Hongjoong and I didn't want to let it go. I just couldn't.
From then on, we grew closer to each other, and got to know each other. And one night, Hana saw us, of course, I didn't tell her about Hongjoong, that we were talking. And of course, the universe loved us and Hana saw us exactly that summer night when Hongjoong kissed me for the first time. When he kissed me, I felt like I was finally complete, like I found the missing piece of my lost soul. But when I saw Hana's face, my soul immediately burnt into specks of dust.
Until then, all I could see was her face when he saw us, the hatred in her eyes, that I could understand. I haven't see her since then, but she lives in my head rent-free. I hated myself because this was the cruelest thing a best friend could do. But I stayed selfish and chose Hongjoong because he made me happy and made me feel alive.
And now I fucked up everything because I can't get through our past. What happened is happened, but when he touches me all I can think of is how she felt, I always compare myself to her.
As I was standing on the bridge and trying to somehow organize my thoughts, I just started to walk in the city that was full of couples and happy people. The city was alive, restaurants were open, and people were celebrating, and laughing together. Yet, I was there walking past them with my eyes crying out, slowly losing myself in the dark. When I passed by a lucky charm seller, the old lady beckoned me to go there. I frowned as I slowly approached her.
"My daughter, you look sad, did somebody break your heart?" She asked me putting his hands on my shoulders.
I nodded tears appearing in my eyes again. "But… it was my fault…so I deserve it." My voice came out weak.
"No one deserves a broken heart, sweet girl." She slowly wiped off my tears. "These lucky charms will tell you what to do, I am sure." She pointed at the little papers with green trefoils on them.
I just shrugged, I didn't believe in these things, but at least I could make someone happy by buying one. I chose one randomly and paid for it, thanking the lady.
"And don’t forget, sometimes before loving someone else, we have to learn how to love and how to receive it." She smiled at me and let me keep going.
I put the lucky charm in my pocket, not even bothering to read it, and walked forward without any destination. All I could think about was Hongjoong and how much I fucked up. It was a perfect day…why did I have to fuck it up? As I walked next to the river my palm was itching in my pocket so I stopped to read the paper. I slowly opened the decorated paper.
"I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn't love myself.
And then you realize it was all real."
I read the lines with my heart slowly warming up and pumping quicker. I never believed in things like these, but these lines hit me hard in the chest just so I could realize how stupid I was, how stupid I was to think Hongjoong didn't love me. I mentally face-palmed myself and tried to stop myself from jumping straight into the cold river and turned around just to run back to our hotel, hoping Hongjoong was going to be there.
Hongjoong wasn't there and he will never come back. He will never come back, because I made myself believe he had anything to do with Hana and that he always compared me to her. But the truth is I compared myself to her and it made my brain a fool, so I believed every cruel thing it whispered to me.
I collapsed on the bed, hugged myself and here I was, crying my soul out with a broken heart, on Valentine's Day, in the city of love.
Hours or just minutes passed by, and I lost track of time when I heard the door closing. I opened my eyes quickly; I was facing the door to our room laying on my right side. Hongjoong slowly stepped inside and took off his winter coat his eyes on me the whole time. I couldn't tell what was he thinking.
I sat up as he approached me and sat on the bed, just to cup my cried-out face into his, now cold, hands.
He leaned his forehead against mine as he whispered. "Oh, my little bun. You make my heart break, seeing you like this."
Probably I looked like hell, my eyes red, my cheeks puffy, my make-up smashed from crying.
I slowly held his wrists that cupped my face. "Hongjoong I—" Tears found their way out again; I didn't understand how I hadn't dried out by now. I started to sob.
"I'm sorry, my love, I shouldn't have talked to you like that." He hugged me, his fingers running through my hair, trying to calm me down.
I slowly lifted my head from his chest. "No, you were right, Hongjoong." Words could finally leave my mouth. "I was living in the past, that hurt me, but at the same time healed me…you healed me. I was so broken, but you managed to glue together the pieces of me. But this Hana thing just hunted me and I couldn't run away it’s like she cursed me just so I could feel his revenge." I looked down at my hands sniffing.
Then I looked into his eyes and the mate of my soul looked at me like I was the most vulnerable creature on Earth. And that was the moment I got reassured about everything.
"I'm so sorry for making you feel like it was all your fault when it was just my fucked-up mind. You are my everything Hongjoong, and I couldn't spend even a minute without you in my life. Please, don't leave me…" My tears flew down my cheeks endlessly.
He sighed and slowly reached for my hands, holding them like a treasure. "You are a fool if you think it is an obligation for me to say I love you. I say it because I mean it with all my heart, and to let you know that Hana is in the past you know I never really loved her. Not like I love you. You are my partner in life, my future and I never want to let you go." He wiped my tears away as his eyes watered and a little teardrop escaped his eye. I immediately wiped it away, not wanting to see him cry because of me. Ever.
"I love you so-so much!" I whispered weakly as I cupped his face.
"I love you endlessly, bun." He smiled at me adoringly, his smile that cured everything inside me and his lips on mine that slowly put the broken pieces of my heart into its place, my heart being whole again, in one piece, just so I could give it to him, into his hands to do whatever he wanted to it, because I just belonged to him and he belonged to me.
He kissed me slowly, like never before, his soft lips moving along mine leaving a sweet taste behind. I slowly crawled into his lap, straddling his thighs. His hands found their place on my waist like they belonged there and squeezed it like he never wanted to let me go. Our kiss got more hotter as I parted my lips letting his tongue inside, discovering every hidden place of my mouth, like he wanted to taste every inch of me. My hands crawled into his hair squeezing it as a moan left his mouth. His hands slowly got their way under my clothes, running his fingers up and down my back, like he couldn't get enough of me.
"You are so beautiful, Y/N." He whispered onto my lips between hot kisses. He looked at me like he couldn't believe his eyes. "You are my beautiful girl." His lips traced over mine as he firmly bit my lower lip.
I chuckled at that, as he quickly flipped us over and he hovered above me, supporting himself with his hands on both sides of my head and he just looked at me. I got impatient and quickly lifted my head so I could kiss him, but he pushed me back to the bed and kissed me harshly, my body felt hot, and I felt like I could burn alive.
Everywhere he touched me burned my skin down to my bones. But I didn’t care because I knew he was the love of my life, that one person who was always beside me and supported me no matter what. The past needs to be locked in the past and the present needs to be lived just so I can build a strong future alongside the emotions I feel, alongside Hongjoong, now, on Valentine's Day and in the city of love, Paris.
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Beautiful Liar
After you boyfriend Randy is tragically murdered, Billy is determined to be the shoulder you cry on.
A/N: Been sitting on this idea for a while. Please read the tags, and minors DNI!
Word count: 3.6K
Tags: SMUT / DUB-CON / Dacryphilia / Manipulation / Grief / Unprotected sex / Creampies / Loss of virginity / Corruption kink / Gaslighting / Misogyny / Reader has a vagina / Fingering
Randy Meeks was dead, and there was no way to change that.
He’d been murdered, brutally; his body in tatters, bloody mess left on the stockroom floor of the video store he’d worked at. Police had said it was a homicide, just another in a series of attacks by the infamous masked ‘Ghostface’ killer that had been running around Woodsboro. The whole town, your friend group included, had been speculating the person – or people’s - identity, wondering if they were male or female, old or young, insider or outsider...either way, the sole question was why. Why Woodsboro? Why now? Why your friends?
The simple answer – in Randy’s case at least – was that you were living in a classic horror movie, in which none of you would get out of alive unless you followed the rules, (which was the sole reason why you hadn’t slept with him during your relationship) but that particular answer was far from satisfying to you. First Sidney’s mother had disappeared, next was Casey and her boyfriend, soon followed by Sidney’s father, Tatum, Randy and Sidney herself, leaving only you to remain. You were, as Randy would dub it, ‘the final girl’.
And you hated it. Randy painted these women as strong, brave, heroic, even, but you were far from it; instead worn down and shattered by the massacre of those closest to you over the past six months. There was a reason that the term was only reserved for the movies; it was too difficult, maybe even downright impossible to be able to fight back in real life, especially when it had happened so constantly and so close to home. There were few words you had to speak anymore, and when you did you found that they were only able to materialise around Billy Loomis.
Billy, and his friend Stu Macher were the only of those that remained. Randy would’ve chalked it down to it being intentional, but the only pattern you could see was that they were killing ‘boy-girl-boy-girl’, which meant either of the two could’ve been next.
So, imagine your shock – and horror – when Stu had gone missing, leaving nothing but a bloodied shoe in his wake. It was the only death of your friends that you hadn’t been to; no morgue visits or ceremonies, with Billy choosing to spend the day with you after he claimed that the Macher’s had just wanted family at his funeral. You would’ve been hurt, but considering you’d spent the past few months feeling like a curse, you were rather happy to keep your distance.
“Thanks for staying with me…” you sighed, rubbing your red eyes. You’d been crying over Randy again, and although Billy wasn’t someone who liked dealing with emotions, he’d been a shoulder to cry on – literally – his silence giving you space to vent. “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess…”
“I think you’re taking this too hard,” he said simply, watching you intently as you tried to compose yourself. “None of this is your fault. There are psychos everywhere.”
“Yeah, but why us? How am I still here?” you gasped, the question blatantly rhetorical.
“Luck. And skill. You’ve been in the right place at the right time,” he sniffed. “Maybe the killer doesn’t want you dead...”
“Oh, that’s comforting.” You scoffed, dabbing at your nose with a tissue. He didn’t reply, but he tapped his finger impatiently along the edge of the sofa as his eyes roamed your body.
You used to be such a sweet little thing; always dolled up in your signature clothes and makeup, but now you were timid, a recluse, even, walking around in Randy’s old shirts and running on two hours of sleep (if that). He couldn’t argue – solely because he’d been the one to cause this - but in time he’d get you back to the way you were. In fact, he might’ve even enjoyed this broken version of you even more; with swollen lips, a melancholy glow, and a psyche that was desperate for affection that only your former boyfriend could’ve given to you.
Killing Randy had been exhilarating. It’d been all too easy, the boy practically boasted about his job (and therefore his schedule), and then it had been down to hiding in the stock room on his late shift, only to lunge at him from the shadows, pointed blade digging in and ravaging his pale flesh, all the while he screamed – even cried – your name. That was your knight in shining armour, a guy who’d failed to follow the rules he swore to live by. Pathetic.
He’d shown him his face right before he died, remembering the way his eyes, though dull and rubber like a fish, had seemingly shone with recognition. He’d put the pieces together, simply far too late.
“Don’t worry, Randy,” he’d said. “I’ll take good care of your little girlfriend.”
Even in his moribund state, the nerd had known what he’d meant, his eyes flickering with worry just as the life had snapped out of him, the whole situation comically cinematic. All that was next was to kill Sidney, the girl that Randy adored before you’d even transferred to Woodsboro. It was simple; Sidney was collateral, and you were a spoil of war. And there was no one left to save you.
“I think you should go outside,” Billy said bluntly. “Being inside all day isn’t good for your head.”
You sighed and wiped your face, glancing around your living room. Truthfully, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d opened the curtains; much less when was the last time you’d gotten off the couch. The television was always on, and you’d done nothing but aimlessly flick through the channels, both avoiding yet drawing yourself to the news, hoping there’d be an update on the killer. It struck you as odd that it had all gone silent.
“Like...Where?” you said incredulously, and Billy resisted the urge to sigh.
“We could go to the movies,” he suggested. “It’ll be on me. I’ll even let you watch those terrible romance ones with the sappy endings.”
You seemed to perk up at this, glancing over at the time on the clock across the room. It was 6:15, and if you showered quick enough (and found some clean, unwrinkled clothes) you could make it to a random seven o’clock screening. It was kind enough that Billy was here with you, but offering to take you to a romance film took selfishness out of the question – he was a true friend, treating you in the same way he had Sidney.
You, like many others, had joked about how perfect he was, often wishing that Randy had been the same way. He’d been nice, without a doubt, but sometimes he was erratic and clingy (some would say annoying), whereas Billy was far more level-headed and relaxed, evident through his constant support. It was time for you to smile, even if it would be temporary.
“Okay...” You whispered with a weak smile, standing to your feet. “Give me a minute, I’m just gonna freshen up.”
Billy’s deep brown eyes followed your figure as you walked past him and disappeared up the stairs. Sitting for a moment, he stared at the blaring screen of the television before shutting it off. Considering your state, he’d been surprised that it had been that easy, but apparently all it took for a girl to come around was the promise of a free outing and cliche love stories. The silence was telling – your parents weren’t around – and he pondered your reaction to his arrival in your bedroom...for company, of course.
Pushing himself up from the couch, he followed you, his shoes barely making a noise as he made his way up the steps before stopping at your bedroom door, being a gentleman and taking his shoes off before he entered. A crack of light from the doorway of the bathroom told him that it was occupied, and so he took it as a signal to enter your threshold, wasting no time in rummaging through your drawers.
He ran his lithe fingers over the outlines of your bra, following the soft cotton and curved shape as he imagined holding your tits in his hands, groping and tugging on them as you rode his cock, screaming and moaning his name so loudly that you forgot all about your idiot boyfriend.
It was the same with your panties, except he wanted to cut them off you, to watch as your legs trembled from trying to avoid the blade; only to get nipped, ruby rivulets trickling down your thighs. He’d rub it, smear the substance across your skin as he tried to soothe you, your fluids coating his skin and fingernails, only to been mixed with the translucent l cream of your orgasm – over and over and over again.
Sitting down on the edge of your bed, he waited for you to come in, raising his brows at your squeal upon seeing him. You were only in a dressing gown, with your bra peeking out of the sides of the fluffy material. If he wasn’t already hard, he certainly was now.
“Billy!” You gasped. “I told you to wait downstairs!”
“I got bored,” he shrugged. “I wanted to see more of you.”
You gave him a pointed look as you scraped your earrings off the dresser, clipping them on as you paced around the room in search of an outfit.
“You know me,” you chuckled. “We’ve been friends for a year.”
“Yeah, but do you ever really know someone?” He said softly, his gaze locked on your own as he cocked his head, blinking slowly at your confused expression. There was something unsettling about his tone, and you couldn’t help but think back to one of Randy’s many pained rants: “Never trust anyone. Everyone’s a suspect, even the love interest!” Did he know something you didn’t, or was he just being his typical, elusive self?
“I mean, come on now, Y/N. Look around. There’s no one left…just us. I think it’s time we got to know each-other.”
Pulling on some pants under your gown, you frowned.
“What’re you saying?”
“We should be closer than we are,” he said softly, reaching out a hand to fiddle with the strap of your gown leisurely, his eye contact fleeting, but coy. “How else are we going to get through this?”
Your eyes widened, and you gave Billy a once over as you contemplated the implications of his words. He’d never really been that much of the touchy type up until now, and it couldn’t be coincidental that all of a sudden he’d become so close to you. Perhaps it was the stress; the trauma of losing his friends that made him feel like he needed to fill the void. Or maybe it was genuine, that he wanted to stick through this real-life tragedy with you. Why else would he stay the long nights and weekends, watching TV with you or offering you his snacks?
“Y-You’re a good friend,” you stammered. “Really. But I just don’t know if I can let anyone close to me anymore. What if you get killed!?” You choked, and Billy pulled you to the side of him, pressing your head into the crook of his neck as you sobbed. Tracing small circles on your back, he let you fix yourself before he pulled away, staring into your eyes as he spoke.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said softly. “I promise. And you know why?”
You shook your head.
“I spoke to Randy a few days before he died. He was paranoid – you know how he was – I guess you could say that he had a sense he was going to die…” Billy paused, eyes flickering with recognition before he swallowed and continued. “…He said that if anything were to happen to him, that I should be the one to take care of you. He knew how close you were with Sidney, and she’d have wanted the same.”
Shakily, your lips parted as you took a breath. Sidney, like many others, had always gushed about how sweet Billy was – particularly how patient he’d been when it’d come to having sex. It would only be logical for them to say that, given the fact that Stu was the only other candidate. No one else would’ve stuck beside you, putting up with your weeks of moping and incessant crying. It was only right that you started giving him some thanks. After all, he was all you had left.
“O-okay,” you smiled softly before wrinkling your nose. You were so close to Billy that strands of his hair was grazing against your face, and you could smell the faint scent of his cologne – icy, yet comforting. “I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I guess I got so wrapped up in thinking about Randy that I haven’t really been grateful to you. Come on, let’s go out —“
“This isn’t about the movies.” Billy interjected, his brows slightly wrinkled. “This is about you. You’re a girl, and you have needs.”
You froze, always worried it would come to this.
“I can’t let you do that,” you said affirmatively. “You were with Sidney, she was my friend —“
“She’s gone now,” he said, zero inklings of emotion detected within his voice. “Just like Randy’s gone. I have needs too, you know. You’re not really being a good friend by ignoring them.”
“Billy…”
“You mean a lot to me,” he continued, placing a hand on your thigh, rubbing it in a slow but enticing manner. “I think about you a lot. I want to do more to help you…but you’re not letting me.”
You knew it was wrong to go there, but part of you knew that he had a point. There was no use in festering in misery; Randy, Sidney and the rest of your friends were gone for good, and there was ultimately nothing that would change that. All you could do was focus on what you had now, and that was Billy; patient, willing, and ready to carry out the wishes of your deceased friends. You just had to let him in.
Silently, you nodded, and he took that as confirmation to kiss you. His lips were warm and wanting, but certainly felt unfamiliar, and you found that it took you a while to find a suitable rhythm. Billy wasted no time in pushing you back onto the bed, kissing down your neck as he straddled you, the faint outline of his hardening cock brushing against your covered leg. His hands lingered on the tie of your robe, glancing down at it with a smirk before pulling it undone, exposing your semi-nude torso to the cool air of the bedroom.
Your heart leapt out of your chest; not because what you were doing was taboo, but because you’d never done it before. You were about to lose your virginity to your dead friend’s boyfriend – something that your cloudy mind couldn’t comprehend.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, leaving love bits on your chest as his fingers slipped under your bra and pinching and rubbing at the surrounding skin and sensitive nipples. “Randy didn’t know what he had…”
Letting out a moan, you allowed yourself to be consumed by him, pushing off his open button-up so that he was left in his white shirt. He didn’t look much, but his arms were surprisingly muscular, and you found yourself tracing along the outlines of his skin, inadvertently pulling him closer.
Billy pulled away, a smirk visible on his face as he unzipped his pants, sliding his trousers to his ankles before readjusting himself on the bed. Taking your hand, he guided you off the bed and brought you to your feet.
“Strip for me,” he lulled, watching you intently for a reaction. “I want to see how pretty you are…”
Nervously, you peeled the robe off your body, dropping it to the floor at the edge of your bed before undoing your pants, all under the watchful, jaded eyes of Billy Loomis. As cliched as it sounded, you felt like a bride on her wedding night, nerves released by Billy’s soothing coos and gentle touch. He patted the bed – yours, which you seemed to forget – and you laid down, taking laboured breaths as his brown locks disappeared between your thighs, skin breaking into goosebumps as he slid your panties down your legs.
“You’re wet...” he hummed, placing his index and middle together before rubbing your hood in small, deliberate circles. “I think you wanted me more than you let on.”
“B-Billy...” you gasped, shutting your eyes at the pleasurable sensation. “I-I’ve never...”
“Shh, I know, I know...” he whispered, his touch becoming rougher as he prodded and spread your lips apart, admiring your insides like some sort of fucked-up doctor. “ ‘M gonna make you feel good, but you need a little practise first...”
Billy began to finger you, withdrawing his digits every so often to admire the way the slickness of your arousal coated his skin, glossy and translucent, the feeling second only to the blood of his victims on his skin. As he curled his fingers within you, he found that you began to shake and clench; your orgasm abruptly evident.
As much as he wanted to indulge in it, he wanted to savour you – and so pulled his fingers out, earning a breathy whine from you. Hastily, he lowered his boxers, his erect cock jutting out like a weapon as he stalked you, pushing your body deep into the pillows as he straddled you.
“D-Do you have protection...?” you whispered meekly, and Billy could’ve came right there and then at the sight of you, lips parted and begging to be kissed as you gazed at him through your lashes.
“No...” he replied, watching the fear wash over your face. “But it’s ok. I was safe with Sidney, and you’ve never had sex, right? That means you’re good.”
Biting your lip, you debated protesting, but found it wasn't worth it. You wanted him – needed this – and you were already sinning by fucking your dead friends’ boyfriend. What did unprotected sex have on that?
“You’re right,” you said with a small smile, puffing your cheeks as you prepared for him to enter you. “Be gentle...”
“I wouldn’t dream of hurting you,” he said firmly, eyes unblinking as he adjusted himself at your entrance, the edge of his cock grazing against your folds. “We’re in this together, remember?”
You knew he meant it when he kissed you upon his penetration, his lips swallowing your whine as he entered you. He wasn’t by any means a stallion – simply averaged sized – but he filled you almost instantly, a dull ache forming around your walls as he began to thrust his hips up into you. If this was what sex was like; rhythmic, passionate, if not a little sharp-edged, then you were partially sad that you hadn’t got to experience it with Randy...the remaining deeply selfish part of you glad that it was with Billy.
He seemed to know every part of you, where to kiss, where to rub, where to hold – when to slow down and when to quicken, all adorned with his sweet nothings that he spoke into your neck, ever so occasionally peering up at you through his lashes, his exact thoughts elusive to you. He cared, right? Why else would he hold you so close to him, kiss your collarbone, rub and soothe your thighs as he rolled his hips deeper, your pelvises slapping against each other in the heat of the moment?
“You’re so tight,” he moaned as your lips gripped his bare shaft. “So good to me...Taking me so well...”
You whined, the sound getting lost under the slight creaking of the bed and the rustle of your bedsheets, tightening your arms around his neck as you drew him closer into you and running a hand through his hair. Billy was thankful, thankful that you couldn’t see his shit-eating smirk from this position onto of you, but much more for Randy; as if he hadn’t had been such a paranoid nerd, he wouldn’t have had the opportunity to imprint himself on you forever.
His strokes were deep and fulfilling, the head of his cock beginning to buck up into your g-spot, pleasure made more overwhelming as he reached down again to rub at your clit. It was dark, somewhat twisted, but it was perfect; and you could actually feel your anxieties disappear entirely. Who was Randy? Had you ever really loved him?
Even amongst your white haze as you got closer to the heat of your orgasm, you were able to make out the sound of a lock opening. Your eyes shot open, trying to piece together footsteps and visible signs of entry – Billy had been the only one to come in, perhaps he’d forgotten to lock the door? Or maybe it was your parents, home early from their outing? Worse, maybe it was the killer, dead on arrival like the Grim Reaper as soon as you’d gone against the rules and had sex.
“Billy —“ you gasped, squeezing your eyes shut as his cock hit your sensitive spot. “The door…I-I think someone’s here…”
“Shh, you’re okay…” he murmured into your ear. “I didn’t hear anything…”
A plunging, shaking feeling consumed you as you came, half-lidded eyes making out the shape of a gloved hand and knife creeping from behind the door. Instinctively, you opened your mouth to scream, but nothing came from it. All you could do was lie there, throat parched and the air knocked out of your lungs as you watched the figure enter the room; not hooded, masked or even bloody – but taking the shape and form of a tall, lanky boy with blonde hair.
Stu was alive, and Billy had lied to you.
#florence writes!!#billy loomis x reader#billy loomis smut#ghostface x reader#scream 1996 imagine#scream imagine#scream x reader#billy loomis imagine
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Ok, i totally understand that you get a lot of requests but i literally couldn’t live without asking…Could you do a part two to the spencer reid loml fic where he goes to san francisco and makes up with the reader? Tysm 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
(btw so high school is my fav fic ever i love it sm)
Hi love!! Thank you so so so much for your kind words; I hope this is to your liking, because I wanted to keep the angsty mood long enough to answer the questions from the first part; but ending with a little fluff
Btw, I have a pendidng Hotch request I'm currently working on, so I wanted to remind you that requests are always open🥰
y/n – your name
Warnings: A little angst, bad words and just Sad Boy Spence with a sprinkle of fluff at the end
Word count: 6,395 (is bc there are emojis)
My Masterlist
Almost a month had gone by since you left the BAU in Quantico; and even if you tried to see the bright side of things, since Spencer had called off your engagement, life felt like walking around with a hole pierced where your heart used to be. Although, it is important to note, things for Spencer weren’t much better on the other side of the country.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, Reid, but I think you should really consider taking some time off work” Emily told Spencer as they were exiting the jet recently landed jet
“I’m alright Prentiss, what happened in the field won’t happen ever again” Spencer scoffed, almost sounding petulant, and exhausted after days with little to no sleep and a complicated case that took an enormous toll on him
“This is not a question Reid, you put your life, the victim’s and your team’s life on the line for what? Because you had a hunch? I’m sorry but in this line of work you can’t just risk it all just because you think so, and you should know that, specially by now” Emily replied, this time with a firm tone that send a shiver trough Spencer’s back; he knew Emily was right, but he really couldn’t admit it, even to himself, that the past month had been hell on earth without you
“I… I’m sorry, I was so sure I could catch the unsub” Spencer tried arguing, but he knew no matter what he said, Emily was right, his head wasn’t in the right place and he ended up jeopardizing the case, and almost letting the unsub walk freely
“I’ll take advantage of the gunshot you received to have you on medical leave for at least two weeks, and hopefully when you come back, your head is clear and you’ll stop doing rookie mistakes” Emily said, trying her best to gift Spencer a compassionate smile
“Alright boss, see you in a fortnight” Spencer said, with a forced smile carrying his go bag, ready to go home; except that, home wasn’t home anymore. “Home” was room 313 of a crappy hotel; even if the mortgage payments for the apartment you two used to share were currently being taken off his bank account. Spencer Reid did not have the heart to step into the apartment he had impulsively bought hoping you’d come back to him.
When Spencer thought about coming home, all he could think about was coming back to you. Your soft embrace, your sparkling eyes, and the way you had to make life better just by being present. Until this day, Spencer could not understand, nor explain, the effect you had on people: you were like a ray of sunlight after a week of rain; whenever he thought of you, he got the same excitement you get when the first flowers of the spring start blooming. Even if he wanted to be stubborn and hold on to his decision of breaking off the engagement, it took every fiber of his being to not drive his car all the way to San Francisco to get you back. But then again, his logical side kicked in and reminded him of all the reasons you couldn’t be together:
He was way older than you, Spencer Reid was convinced that the eight-year difference would take a toll on the relationship, sooner or later
He knew schizophrenia was almost likely to be hereditary, and he didn’t want to put you thought the hell he lived with his mom when he was younger
Your career was just taking off at the FBI, while his was somehow was marked permanently by his time in prison and more than a couple of disciplinary issues; and he wanted nothing to do with your reputation being stained by associating with him
While you were a hell of a profiler, after years at the BAU he knew what the job could do to you, and he did not want to risk you losing your spark with all the trauma the job inflicted
Every single person he has ever loved ended up either death, kidnapped or extremely harmed by being close to him. This was a particularly painful reason, especially because he is not a man of faith, but sometimes, late at night Doctor Spencer Reid wonders if he’s somehow the victim of a prophecy, or a cruel joke of fate considering every single person he has ever loved suffers when they’re around him; and of course, he could not let you suffer, nor put you in any danger because of his ill luck
Sure, whenever he thought of these reasons he called bullshit on himself, but at the end of the day, the decision was made, and you were perfectly safe from him (and his curse) at the other side of the country.
Since the day he called off the engagement, Spencer felt that he was living his life in autopilot. Most of the time, he wasn’t even present at the moment because he was too immersed into his own head, spinning and replaying the dreadful day he broke your heart; which ended up with him making huge mistakes at work, and disappointing René Descartes: as he was not thinking.
Without even noticing, he arrived into his hotel room, sighted, and decided he was too tired to even eat, so he just went to bed.
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After a couple of days of bed rotting, Spencer received an unexpected knock on his hotel door, and it was his dear friend Penelope Garcia.
“How are we doing, boy genius?” the bubbly blonde asked as she came into the messy hotel room. Spencer was known to be a pretty organized person, some would even dare to say he had a small OCD, but from the state of this hotel room, Penelope was both perplexed and alarmed
“I guess you heard about my medical leave” Spencer said taking a seat on the bed with a voice that almost sounded like a grunt
“Yeah… I was pretty surprised when you didn’t show up to the jet, I mean, I knew the injury of the bullet you took in Arkansas wasn’t that devastating” she said, clearly nervous about the topic
“The bullet just grazed my shoulder, I really didn’t need the medical leave” Spencer scoffed rolling his eyes, “So why are you here? Prentiss send you to check up on me?” the young Doctor said facing his friend
“I was just… worried about you… I know… I know things have been difficult since y/n left Virginia” Penelope said, almost rambling, and worried that her words would shake up Spencer.
Everyone at the BAU, knew Spencer Reid was a yapper, nonetheless and since he came back from prison, it was like something inside Spencer died. He was still a genius who held on his mind almost every single piece of information he has ever read, or learn, but something was totally different. He stopped his rambles, he became more reserved, and he built these walls around him and his personal life. Of course, some of this changed when he was with you, once again he had opened up his heart to trust, and his old friends like García, Rossi, JJ, and Prentiss sometimes even felt like they could catch a glimpse of the old Spencer Reid. Unfortunately, Spencer went back to his avoiding and reserved ways once you left the BAU; it almost seemed like you left, and took his heart with you.
“I’m alright, the wound is healing properly, and soon I’ll be back on the field” Spencer rushed to answer, avoiding commenting on you
“What’s wrong with you, Spence?” Penelope dared to ask directly seeing how avoidant he had been lately
“Nothing’s wrong, okay? Prentiss is just exaggerating, and that’s why she made me leave” Spencer said, rolling his eyes at his concerned friend
“You are one of my closest friends, I even dare to call you family Spence, and I know when something is wrong with my family” Penelope said taking a step closer to Spencer “I’ve been giving you your space with the whole y/n situation, I even refrained from asking the juicy details, but something is seriously wrong if you are running toward the unsubs, taking bullets just because, and pushing away the people who care about you” Penelope said, and Spencer realized how much of an ass he was being to his friends, but of course, he knew this was nowhere close to how much of an ass he had been towards you
“I fucked up” Spencer said with a strain of voice, as his eyes were covered by a soft mist of tears
“I know you did Spence, but you can make things better” Penelope said holding her friend in her arms as he silently cried over her shoulder
“y/n hates me… I… I screwed thing up and there’s no coming back from there” Spencer cried as Penelope streaked his hair reassuringly
“I’m sure y/n doesn’t hate you” she said after a pause “Whatever happened between the two of you was probably a misunderstanding that can be resolved” Penelope added with a string of hope on her voice. Nobody knew exactly what had gone on between the two of you; one day you were happily engaged, and the next Monday you had asked for your transfer to the other side of the country, with no explanation or goodbyes
“I… I got scared… I just love y/n so much I didn’t want to drag her down with me. I know I’m screwed up, and complicated to deal with… Also… It may sound stupid, but you know how every single person I’ve loved either dies or leaves? I was so scared out of my mind that something horrible would happen to her, I decided to end the engagement right there on the spot” Spencer admitted put loud for the first time, as tears rolled down his cheeks “You know the worst part? When y/n left town I even bought our apartment, just in case that she wanted to come back, but as days go back, I guess her decision was final, and she’s not coming back” Spencer continued his rant
“I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but I’ve kept tabs on her, since she left Virginia” Penelope said and Spencer’s eyes lit up at the possibility of learning something about you and your whereabouts
“Is she okay? Is she happy? How’s she doing in San Francisco?” Spencer rushed to ask, eager with anticipation
“She’s okay, she’s mostly working with children victims of human trafficking, so he’s been really busy, but overall her performance is alright” Penelope said, debating internally of she should give Spencer the envelope with your information she was caring on her purse
“y/n always enjoyed working with children” Spencer said with a small smile forming into his lips as the image of you popped on his head. He could see you, smiling brightly after solving the pieces that made the cases, the way you’d sight in relief after catching an unsub, and how dedicated you were to your work, he was so proud of you that the thought of you killing it on your new job made his heart flutter with excitement, but ache because the prospect of you coming back, somehow became even more distant
“I… there’s something else… she’s seen somebody new” Penelope said, and Spencer’s heart shattered at the idea of you with someone else. He could barely manage to stand, as his knees grew weak and his throat suddenly got dry “She’s dating an Assistant District Attorney, it’s something fairly new but I thought you should know” the blonde added, deciding she was going to facilitate Spencer all the information she had on you
“I hope he treats her right” Spencer said with a strain of voice as Penelope handed him the envelope she retrieved from her purse
“This is all the info I’ve gathered on y/n, I don’t know what you should do, but I… I hate seeing you like this, and honestly, the two of you were so happy together. I don’t know what happened or of it’s salvageable, but I know in my heart you love her, and she loves you, even if she’s forcing herself to move on, so just… follow your heart Reid, I know it’s hard and scary, but I promise you it’s worth it” Penelope said, cupping her friend’s cheek on her hand
“I don’t know what to say, I mean, of course I love her, but because I love her I have to let her go, I’m dangerous for her” Spencer said, with his eyes lingering from the envelope to his friend
“If that’s your final say, it’s okay, I brought this here for you, so I’m leaving it whether you want it or not, but please Spencer, I need you back, the whole team needs you” Penelope said cupping her friend’s cheek as she left the hotel room, leaving Reid with a messy web of thoughts that revolved around you.
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Another couple of days went by since Penelope’s visit, Spencer still hadn’t peaked through the envelope, but he was burning with anticipation to do so.
Spencer decided that he would make the best of this time off, and he could visit his mother. He bought a plane ticked for that same day, packed a bag with the envelope Penelope had left behind, and without letting anyone know, he left for Las Vegas, to see the only human being who could understand what he was going through.
“Hi mom” Spencer said entering the common room of the sanatorium Diana was on
“Spencer! How are you my honey” Diana greeted him with a warm hug, which he gladly accepted
“It’s been quite a while, but I’m alright” Spencer said, trying to hide the sadness on his eyes with a forced smile
“You should know better than to lie to your mother” Diana said, reading right through Spencer’s expression
“Everything’s messy mom, I… I broke off the engagement with y/n” Spencer spilled embarrassed of the whole situation, but confident his mom would have something wise to say
“You remember Mr. Knightley’s love confession to Emma?” Diana asked with a furrowed brow after a long pause, to take in her son’s words
“I cannot make speeches, Emma...If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.” Spencer recited by heart; after all, he had read that novel at least ten times as it was your favorite. You didn’t know this, but the reason Spencer kept rereading the novel was to take inspiration and make references only for you and a handful of Jane Austen fans could catch in your wedding vows
“That’s right my brilliant boy, you want to know why those simple words have so much impact?” Diana said, getting ready to lecture her son in both literature, and love “Because when you love someone so much, it doesn’t matter how many layers and walls they build, at the end you know the right way to unfold them. As well, loving someone isn’t just loving when it’s easy, or when it seems right, it also means holding on through tick, thin, fears, complications and messiness. May I add, words are unnecesary when there is so much love in between” Diana said offering her son a kind smile
“I don’t think she can forgive me, mom, I really screwed up this time… I’m sure she thinks I don’t love her, damn, I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks I never loved her in the first place” Spencer rambles exasperated by the whole situation his insecurities caused
“I’m sure she knows its bullshit, at the end of the day you love her; she’s a smart girl, she’ll figure it out just as I could tell you were trying to lie to my face” Diana said with a chuckle
“I’m sure she’s over me, she’s already dating a hot shot lawyer in San Francisco” Spencer said biting his lower lip
“It takes a lifetime to forget a great love, and lucky for you, that’s what you had; I’m sure you can get her back if you let go of your fears and put your heart on the line” Diana added cupping her son’s cheek
“I wouldn’t bet on it mom, I mean, I’ve put her through hell” Spencer said biting nervously the inside of his cheek
“Then bring her back from hell, just like Orpheus was supposed to bring Eurydice back” Diana said encouraging her son to follow his heart
“Do you believe I’m hard to love?” Spencer asked his mother in a serious tone, in hope she could calm down all his fears, and put to rest the voices in his head telling him it was not worth it
“I believe you are extraordinary, and that loving you is one of the greatest pleasure in life, of course, life comes with its ups and downs, but love is worth every single bump you encounter on the way” Diana said, convincing Spencer that he should fight for the one he loved, even if he was scared to death of doing so
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Spencer took another plane, this time it was bound to San Francisco; and he spent the whole plane ride studying obsessively the envelope Garcia had put together of you and your life in Frisco, as she had previously referred.
The transition made a toll on you, and you seemed to be putting on extra hours in the field just for the sake of it, but Spencer couldn’t shake away the feeling of pride that fluttered all around his chest as he reviewed your accomplishments. You seemed to be living on the bay area, and Spencer couldn’t stop the butterflies from fluttering as the pilot announced they were about to land in the airport. Suddenly, everything seemed real: the losing you, the never-ending love he still harvest on his heart for you, how much he had screwed up, the anxiety building over as the chance of rejection became a possibility. Sure, Spencer had come out of jail a changed man, but right now, he felt as anxious and vulnerable as the lanky Doctor with glasses he used to be when he first entered the BAU. What was he even supposed to do? Spencer Reid wasn’t used to winging things, but for the first time in his life, he boarded a plane without having an actual plan of what to do when he landed, and that was freaking scary.
He decided it would be creepy to just show up at your door, considering he knew your address by the information Penelope had given him when she visited, and he did not want to freak you out. Maybe he could hang nearby where you lived, until he either worked up the courage to talk to you, or he came up with an excuse that wasn’t pathetic to explain why he was so many miles away from home. A hotel! Suddenly Spencer thought he also needed to book a hotel or at least, find a place where he could spend the night. After reading a more than a couple of yelp reviews, the young Doctor found a hotel close enough to your home that he could get there by walking, but with enough distance to be considered respectful, or at least he thought so.
“For fucks sake, Spencer, you really need to come up with a hell of an excuse to be in San Francisco” Spencer muttered to himself as he was getting installed into the hotel room. After a couple of hours of pacing around in the room thinking, crafting, and tossing at the trash at least fifty excuses for him being in California, he decided it was about time to get something to eat.
He settled on a Thai place that was a couple of blocks away from his hotel, and as he was devouring his Tom Yum Goong, and suddenly he felt like he was about to choke on his soup: he heard your laugh. The same laugh that had been haunting his dreams for the past month, that one laugh he could recognize in a room full of noise, the laugh he would trade his lat breath of air, just to be able to hear at least one more time. The room started spinning and Spencer, a known rambler, suddenly was at a loss of words.
“Spencer?” he heard you calling him from the other side of the room, and for a second, Spencer Reid knew exactly why sailors found their death as soon as they heard the mermaid’s lullabies; but while he was thinking about drowning on the dulcet sound of your voice, a naughty piece of shrimp decided to block his airways and he started coughing
“Oh my god! Spencer, are you okay?” you rushed over to his side trying to help him, oblivious that your presence only made it harder for him to breath
“Excuse me, honey, let me handle this” Dylan, your new… situationship (?) said, holding Spencer and practicing the Heimlich Maneuver on the Doctor
If Spencer was struggling to find a good excuse for being in San Francisco, he better come up with something good, because this was deficiently the most embarrassing moment of his life; it was official, he has reached a new low point and he couldn’t wait for the earth to shatter under his feet and just swallow him.
“Hello y/n” Spencer said with a raspy voice as soon as he could breath
“Spencer! Hi, hello” you said, completely confused and shaken up by the situation that you just witnessed
“Are you okay, bro?” Dylan intervened, taking you out of the trance of what was going on in front of you
“Yes, I’m alright, thank you…” Spencer said, with his eyes glued to you
“I’m Dylan, Dylan Brown” Dylan said offering his hand to Spencer
“Spencer doesn’t…” you started speaking when you were interrupted
“I don’t shake hands, with the amount of pathogens you could get from a handshake is actually safer to jut kiss” Spencer cut you off “I’m Doctor Spencer Reid, nice to meet you” he said holding his hand up and waving a little
“Oh… I didn’t know we were in official business” Dylan said with a chuckle “District Attorney Dylan Brown, at your service” he continued flashing his winning smile, giving Spencer a weird feeling, maybe… jealousy? Whatever it was, definitely was the reason Spencer couldn’t spare a laugh for the person who pretty much just saved his life
“What are you… Why’re you here? I mean… Are you here on a case or something?” you asked, noticing how uncomfortable both Dylan and Spencer where with the situation
“I… I’m here to… yes! Actually I’m here consulting on a case” Spencer decided to lie, in order to preserve his last shred of dignity, little did he know…
“Oh really? That’s so weird, considering you’re on medical leave” you said cutting through his bullshit, okay, he didn’t know was it was possible, but somehow Spencer Reid started from the bottom, just to somehow sink even deeper
“How did you? How do you even know about the medical leave?” Spencer said, taking you off from the higher horse you pretended to be
“I didn’t… I mean… Garcia happened to mention something” you stuttered, as you refused to admit you had been checking up with Penelope, just to know how Spencer was doing
“Honey, we should go back to our table” Dylan once more intervened the staring contest that was going down between Spencer and you
“You should join me, actually, let me invite the two of you dinner, after all, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Dylan’s amazing technique of the Heimlich Maneuver” Spencer said with a hint of sarcasm, and you knew this night was bound to end in disaster
“We don’t want to impose” you rushed to reply
“Please, I insist, I’m just so shaken up by everything that went down” Spencer decided to play the victim, and you knew you were screwed
“Come on y/n, we can’t leave him all alone after his brush with death” Dylan said, unknowingly sealing the night’s fate, as he was taking a seat
“Thank you so much, to the both of you” Spencer started speaking, with his eyes piercing fierily into your own
“So you guys know each other?” Dylan tried to make sense of the situation
“Oh, yes, we used to work together, back in Virginia” you rapidly intervened to avoid Spencer giving away too much information
The dinner proceeded uneventful, but you couldn’t put your finger quite on it. There was something off with Spencer; the vibes weren’t vibing, and as much as you wanted to focus on Dylan, there was something magnetic pulling you towards Spencer, or maybe it was those damn profiler skills you couldn’t just push to the back or your mind, either way, you knew you had to stop it.
“I’m sorry for cutting this short, but I was just called into the office, apparently there’s an emergency” Dylan said checking his phone after ordering dessert
“Oh, let me come with you, maybe I can help” you said, thanking God, the universe or something for the way out
“Please don’t, you guys should really catch up, but I’ll text you when I get to the office, just so you don’t worry” Dylan said placing a kiss on the top of your head, making Spencer’s stomach flip “It was lovely to meet you Spencer, I hope this isn´t the last we see of each other” he added taking his coat, gifting the doctor a kind smile and walking away from the table
“What the hell are you doing here?” you asked angrily as soon as Dylan went through the door
“I needed to talk to you” Spencer replied with a calm tone that was making your blood boil
“What do you want to talk about Reid? I think enough was said in Virginia” you scoffed
Spencer was a man of many words, unfortunately, at this very moment his brain was a mush and even if he wanted to, he was unable to string two sentences together. Seeing you made quite a number on him: his hands were sweaty, his head was spinning, his back was shivering, his pupils couldn’t focus, his stomach was in knots, and he was almost certain this is what a stroke feels like.
“So? Why are you really here?” you asked once more with an exasperated expression
“I…I…” he was choking again, this time just tripping with his own words
“Whatever you are playing, I want no part on it, I already lost enough with you” you said with a sober tone
“I’m in love with you, I fucked up, but I’m here to promise I’ll do everything in my power, actually I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you” Spencer rambled and you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation
“You’re a madman if you think you can just come here out of the blue, say that you love me and everything will be forgiven” you said, this time taking your own coat and leaving Spencer alone in the restaurant
💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫
What the hell was wrong with Spencer Reid
That sentence was all you could think of on your way back home.
Did he really think he could show up in San Francisco, declare his love to you and what? You were supposed to come back to him? Even if your heart lowkey fluttered when your eyes first met his at the restaurant, he was being a complet ass and it was totally unacceptable. As you were getting ready to go to bed, your head was spinning, thinking about Spencer was not an option, but somehow the whole encounter kept poping into your head.
You tossed and turned on your bed, untill the clock on your bedside marked 2:20 am, and you knew there was only one person in the whole world who could help apeace your mind; the very same person that was the reason of your sleepless night.
“Hey, it’s me” you whispered as soon as Spencer picked up the phone
“Hello y/n, having a rough time sleeping?” you could hear Spencer’s husky voice on the other side of the line
“I think I’m ready to talk, and I’m guessing you already know where I live, so please come” you said, hanging up the call without giving him enough time to give you an answer
Fifteen minutes after the short phone call, Spencer was buzzing on the intercom of your apartment bulding; and no more than five minutes after that he was already knocking on your door.
“Please come in” you said, opening the door for him
“Thank you so much for having me over, I really need to talk to you” Spencer rambled as he was closely inspecting your apartment. There was something about the place, that somehow made it all feel like home even if it was on the opposite end of the country, althought deep down, he knew it wasn’t something, it was someone
“Please take a sit, and you better have a hell of an explanation to be here in San Francisco, because I’m not buying the idea that you’re here because you love me” you said, sitting on the couch across from where Spencer was standing
“I made a mistake, when we were in Quantico” Spencer started and you couldn’t help but cut him off with a sour smile, as your eyes starterd to accumulate tears. Sure, you had done everything in your power to just shove down the feelings to the bottom of your heart, and somewhow you were succedeing, but having the man you once loved, speaking about the most painful day of your life wasn’t easy
“If you’ve come here to state the obvious, you can just save your breath” you scoffed, trying to avoid his gaze
“I need you to hear me out, please” Spencer pleaded, and your heart couldn’t help but shatter a little with the amount of hurt that was accumulated both in his eyes, and his voice
“Alright, you got the floor to speak, but you can’t blame me for thinking this is riddiculous Spencer, you broke me, you had me all for yourself, and you decided to just… leave me” you said, feeling the tears roll down your eyes
“I got scared” Spencer said quietly, almost as a whisper
“Why were you afraid? I loved you with everything in me and more! There was no reason for you to doubt me!” you said, feeling both the pain and the anger building up in your throat
“I never doubted you! I was just… I was so afraid of something terrible happening to you… I just thought it’d be best to keep you away from me” Spencer replied, lowering his gaze
“What are you even talking about? You were afraid of something terrible happening to me? That’s why you decided it would be a good idea to just break my heart? Shatter all my dreams? Destroy the life we had planeed together?” you asked and Spencer couldn’t help but run his hands trough his hair in exasperation
“I don’t know how to explain this to you without sounding like a madman, or a religious freak; specially because I’m a man of science, but, please undertand me, statistically, all the people that I’ve loved either end up dead or terribly hurt” Spencer said and a chukle left your mouth before you could even realize
“Are you kidding me Spencer? Are you seriously telling me that you left me because you were somehow scared that you are cursed?” you asked in disbelief
“I’m not saying that I’m cursed! All I’m saying is that… I don’t know what I’m saying but I was trying to protect you! I love you so much, I’d hate myself if something happens to you because of me” Spencer pleaded. Sure, you knew it was wrong to laugh about people’s fears, and that everyone copes individually as they can, but this was just riddiculous to you
“Spencer, I work on the FBI with children and human traficking, I’m aware, actually, I’m certain that my name figures in more than one hit list, but that doesn’t stop me from living my life” you said, and you couldn’t help but feel that maybe if Spencer had the guts to talk about his feelings and fears out loud before, you wouldn’t be in this messy situation, hell, you’d probably even still be engaged
“I… I know that, and I’m so proud of you, and of your work but I… I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to you, and just not being able to protect you” Spencer added
“Let me get this straigth, you were so afraid of losing me, you decided to just leave me?” you asked with an ironic tone as another laugh scaped your lips
“I mean… if you put it like that, I guess I did” he said, with a small chuckle
“Besides, how dare you think is romantic leaving me safe and stranded? Do you have any idea how much I cried over you? How many days I couldn’t sleep just wondering where did we go wrong? My God, Spencer! We almost had it all, I love you with everything in me and you just… let me go” you added with a bitter tone, as you tried to comprehend the Doctor’s train of thought
“I genuenly believed I was doing what was best for you” Spencer said without meeting your eyes
“Spence, you can’t live with the constant fear that something terrible is just going to happen, I understand that with our line of work sometimes even existing is complicated, but, you have to be brave” you said with a softer tone, trying to get Spencer to understand how out of pocket hhis fears were
“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, if I could just somehow take it back, I would, I… I guess my anxiety got the best of me” Spencer said, this time with an embarrased tone
“Yeah, I imagine, but, as you know, that’s just not possible you” you added with a small smile, almost a pitty smile, because you counldn’t believe how unserious Spencer’s reason to call off the engagement was
“If you let me, I’ll make it up to you for the rest of my life, I don’t care how much time I have to wait, I don’t even care if I have to move to San Francisco just to be with you! I’ll do anything, I’ll even marry you right here, right now, but please, give me another chance. Not a day goes by that I don’t love you! Hell, I even think I love you more today than I loved you yesterday, altough it’s not gonna be as much as I’ll love you tomorrow of the day after that” Spencer rambled, and you could feel your heart ache, for a whole month all you wanted, all you wished for was Spencer saying those words to you, but hearing them, now you were scared out of your mind
“I… I don’t think I can do this again, Spence” you said with a low voice
“Please y/n, I’ll do anything, I know deep down you still love me, maybe not as much as I love you, but it’s okay because I have so much love, I’ll just love you for the two of us” Spencer said with his eyes filling with tears
“I’m scared Spencer, how do I know you won’t jump ship again as easily as you did it last time?” you asked almost with a whispered. You figured out that if you were going to break his heart, at least you’d be straighfordward and honest
“I understand that you don’t trust me, or that’s scary, but you just told me that I can’t let my fears control my life… please, take a leap of faith with me” Spencer said stepping closer to the couch were you were sitting
“I don’t… I don’t know how, I already gave you my all once” you said, curling up on your couch like a wounded puppy
“Then let me prove to you that I mean it when I say I’ll give you my all, let me show you how serious I’m about spending the rest of my life with you” Spencer pleaded, taking your hand into his “I love you so much, I vow I won’t let anything come between us again, I don’t care if I have to fight a curse, a thousand unsubs, hitmen or whatever life throws at our way, I promise I’ll always stand by you… If you need to cry, I’ll be your shoulder, if you need protection, I’ll be your shelter, if you need to lean on, I’ll be your rock, but please, let me be everything and anyrthing you need” he added with teary eyes
“You get one chance, and we have a shit ton of things to figure out, but I swear if you screw up one more time, I’ll personally make sure to destroy you” you said with a teassing smile, and Spencer coulnd’t help but chuckle and plant a swee kiss on your lips
“I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure I don’t screw up again” he said, and you gave hijm another kiss
You knew it would be messy, and even a little embarrasing to anounce, but your heart somehow intertwined perfectly with Spencer’s. You knew you loved him with everything in you and somehow, you were convinced by his words aboout how much he loved you. At the end of the day, love is a bet, and you knew Spencer Reid was banned from every casino in Vegas because he was an expert on statistics, so maybe, with his head and your gut, the two of you’d find a way for your love to work out.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid
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♕ No Matter What - Part 7 | Lena Luthor ♕
Pairing: Lena Luthor x reader
Warnings: mentions of some shooting, throwing up, blood and death
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8
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I get up with shaking hands, watching Lena as she begins pacing.
“Who is he?” she snaps. “Your boyfriend?!”
I flinch and take a step back. Not only am I completely taken aback by her sudden lack of trust, I’m also fragile because of the reminder of what day it is tomorrow.
“Lena— What? No! He’s not my boyfriend,” I defend quietly, my voice wavering. I swallow to get rid of the growing lump in my throat, but it just makes it worse.
Lena whips around and stares me down with a harsh glare. “No? Then who is he and why did you try to hide it when his name popped up on your phone?”
I open my mouth to reply, but the words get stuck in my throat. What has gotten into her? She has no right to attack me like this. Not when I haven’t given her a single reason not to trust me.
Scoffing when I don’t answered, she aggressively runs a hand through her hair. “That’s what I thought. My God, I should have never listened to Sam. You’re just like everyone else. A lying, cheating—“
“He’s my brother!” I blurt out weakly, every word she just said breaking my heart. My knees are weak and it’s taking everything in me not to break down crying right now.
Lena pauses and raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “Nice try. You told me you don’t have any siblings. Honestly, I don’t know how I let this whole thing between us get this far.”
I feel my bottom lip tremble and avert my eyes to the ground. Why is she being so cruel? I clench my fists and work my jaw as Lena goes on berating me.
“And to make up a brother. . . You really are something else. You know, if it weren’t for your contract I’d fire you on the spot.”
A tear rolls down my cheek and I lift a trembling hand to wipe it away. I don’t say anything and just stare at the floor, waiting for Lena to continue.
She doesn’t go on however and when I dare to glance at her I find her watching me incredulously.
“Why are you cry—?”
“I am not making him up,” I say sternly which seems to surprise her. She opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off again. “And I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t have any siblings because he’s dead.”
Lena’s eyes widen.
“It’s the anniversary of his death tomorrow and I was planning on leaving some flowers on his grave, hence the reminder. And I didn’t want you to see because I’m not ready to talk about what happened yet.” I grab my bag from next to the couch and sling it over my shoulder, too hurt to even acknowledge the regret on Lena’s face. “Now, I know you can’t fire me, but I can quit, so don’t worry. You’ll have my letter of resignation on your desk by tomorrow morning.“
“Y/N, that’s not what I— I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. . . Please don’t—“
I hold up a hand and shake my head with a stray tear rolling down my cheek. “No, don’t worry about it, Ms. Luthor. I should probably get going now if I am to accompany you to the office later.”
Lena looks close to tears as well now, but I don’t give her a chance to say anything else as I brush past her, leaving without turning back.
How everything could go this wrong this quickly is a mystery to me.
It makes my heart ache and part of me is screaming at me to turn back and forgive Lena for jumping to conclusions. The other part however, the one that is irreversibly hurt by what just happened, is telling me to leave, which is what I ultimately do.
Maybe Lena was right. Things shouldn’t have gone as far as they did between us. I am, after all, just her bodyguard.
A year ago– Somewhere overseas. . .
“Christ I’m sweating like a pig,” Noah grumbles, pulling at the collar of his uniform.
We’re standing outside in the blazing sun, guarding the locals as they unload the truck of supplies we brought them. It’s a day like any other and for weeks now nothing out of the ordinary has happened.
“Yeah? Well, stop fretting, you’re only making it worse,” I scold lightheartedly as I shift the gun in my arms. It is hot, yes, but Noah is being a baby about it.
Harper snickers beside me and Noah sends her a dirty look. “You two are unbelievable,” he says with an eye roll, however when he turns his attention back to the locals I see a faint smile on his lips.
Harper beams and shoves me playfully. I smile and return the gesture.
That’s when one of the locals approaches me. “We’ve finished unloading the truck. Thank you again for all your help.” He stretched out his hand and I shake it with a polite nod.
“You’re welcome. Is there anything else we can—?”
The sound of screeching breaks makes me whip my head around and my eyes widen at the sight of an old truck that has come to a stop in a cloud of dust.
Several men, armed with guns jump off the back of it and before I can call out any orders, they open fire on me and my squad.
“Get down!” I shout, pulling the local behind a stack of rice bags. “Miller, radio for help!”
Harper and Noah join me while the rest of the squad finds shelter behind our truck.
Bullets whiz past us everywhere and the panicked screams of the locals make my stomach flip.
Stay calm! I remind myself, gripping my gun until my knuckles are white. Panic will get you killed.
“Miller?” I shout again as I peak over the bags, returning some of the fire before ducking back down. “Miller, where are you? Jones? Martinez!”
There’s no answer and knowing what that means, I clench my jaw and force away the burning feeling behind my eyes.
“What do we do?” Harper shouts next to me as she reloads her gun. “We’re trapped.”
Miller was the only one in the squad with a radio because for weeks now everything’s been calm and some superiors decided the extra radios should go to the squad’s that actually fight the rebels, not the ones doing supply runs.
“There’s a radio in the truck!” I remember, but the chances of getting to it without being hit are slim to none.
I have to do something though, so I grab Noah by the collar and pull him closer so he can hear me over the gunfire. “You two, cover me!” I shout, ignoring the way his and Harper’s eyes widen in terror.
“No! You can’t—!” he begins to protests but I tighten my grip on his uniform which shuts him up.
“I can and I will! I’m your superior officer and I’m not losing anyone else today, you hear me?!”
Noah has tears in his eyes, but he nods nonetheless. I turn to Harper to find her with the same, horror filled eyes.
“Do you hear me?” I ask again, swallowing the fear that’s bubbling up in the back of my throat.
“Yes, Sergeant!” They reply in unison and I take a deep breath before counting down.
“Alright, on three. One, two, three!” I jump up, gun at the ready, and move to leap over the bags of rice.
As soon as I get to my feet though, I’m knocked back by something hitting my shoulder. I cry out in pain and fall back down, clutching at where I’ve been hit.
One of the rebels must have waited for one of us to show themselves…
“Y/N!” Harper screeches, pressing her hand down on my chest a little below my shoulder. “Fuck!”
The local who’s frozen in place, pales at the sight of my blood and throws up right in his lap and if it weren’t for our current circumstances I would have gagged at the sight.
This can’t be how it ends!
I grit my teeth and shove Harper’s hand away. “I’m fine. We have to try again. We need to get to that radio!”
I try to get a hold of my gun again but as soon as I move, a jolt of pain shoots through me and I fall back with a pained whimper.
It’s enough for Harper to press her hand against my shoulder again, pinning me down with a warning look. “You can’t do this. You’re losing to much blood. We’ll have to think of something else.”
I shake my head and fidget with the clasp of my helmet. It feels like the strap is strangling me, but I know better than to take it off.
“There’s no time, Harper! Just let me—!”
“I’ll do it.”
I turn my head to find Noah watching us with a blank stare. I’ve never seen him like this and I know whatever he’s thinking can’t be good.
“I’ll do it,” he says again and that’s when I realize what he means.
“You will do no such thing!” I say sternly as he goes to return some of the fire before ducking back down.
“But we need backup!” he argues and I watch as a bead of sweat drips from the tip of his nose.
It really is hot today, isn’t it?
“You’re not going out there, Private. That is an order!” I wince when Harper applies more pressure to my shoulder.
“I can’t just let you die!” Noah screams and he reloads his gun with newfound determination. “I’m going to get that radio and call for backup!”
I grab his arm and yank him back down just as he’s about to get up. “No, you are not! You’re staying right here. We’ll think of something else.”
Noah’s eyes meet mine and for a moment the gunfire around us is muted. He smiles apologetically and takes the hand I have on his arms into his own.
I’m sorry, he mouths and before I can stop him again he’s escaped my grasp.
“Noah!”
Present– National City. . .
After showering and getting ready for the day, I make my way back to Lena’s apartment building where I wait for her by the front desk after shoving my bike into the janitors closet.
Ann tries to strike up a conversation as soon as her eyes land on me, but when my replies come out somewhat clipped, she lets it go.
I honestly don’t know what I’m feeling right now. Earlier I was hurt and angry, but now I’m not really feeling anything.
I will do my job as professionally as I can and have my resignation letter on Lena’s desk by tomorrow morning, just like she wanted.
I am still worried about Lex coming after her, but she’s made it clear what she thinks of me and I can’t do my job if she doesn’t trust me.
When the elevator doors open and Lena steps out, her eyes dart around until they land on me. She relaxes visibly and approaches quickly with regret and worry written all over her face.
“Y/N, I’m sorry about earlier. I should have never said what I said and I don’t want you to—“
I shake my head and square my shoulders, trying my best to sound professional when I say, “Don’t apologize, Ms. Luthor. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’m just here to do my job.”
Lena deflates and she frowns sorrowfully. “Y/N, please. . . I didn’t mean—“
I check my watch and clear my throat, cutting her off once again. “We should get going if you don’t want to be late for your interview with Ms. Danvers.”
Lena’s bottom lip trembles and I have to dig my nails into the palm of my hand to stop myself from rushing forward to comfort her.
Her words cut unimaginably deep earlier and I can’t forgive her for it just yet. Or ever. I haven’t made my mind up about it yet because all I can think about is Noah and Harper who tried calling me again just before I got here.
“Alright then,” Lena gives in with a dejected sigh.
We go outside where Alfred is already waiting in the car. I open the rear–passenger door and wait until Lena gets in. Then I close it, ignoring the hurt in her eyes when I opt to sit in front with Alfred, rather than in the back with her like I normally do.
The interview with Kara had gone well, as far as I could tell when Lena hugged the blonde goodbye with a genuine smile. That smile, however, faded when her eyes met mine briefly and she quickly disappeared into her office again, leaving me outside with Jess who was busy at her computer.
And that’s where I’m still at right now, reading a news article on my phone while Lena’s in her office with Sam who decided to show up ten minutes ago.
Upon seeing me, she instantly knew something was wrong, but I just waved her off when I could feel Lena watching us from the doorway to her office.
She didn’t say anything but sent me a look that made it clear we were going to talk about what was going on as soon as we were alone.
“You did what?!”
Sam’s shriek makes me flinch and I can’t help but move a little closer to the closed office door. Jess isn’t at her desk because she went out to get coffee, so I don’t have to worry about getting caught eavesdropping.
“I know, I messed up pretty badly.” Lenas muffled voice sounds like she’s genuinely sorry and I know for a fact that they’re talking about what happened this morning.
“You think?” Sam retorts sarcastically. “God, Lena. . . What is wrong with you?“
“I don’t know, Sam!” Lena sounds desperate and it makes my heart ache involuntarily. “I just— I’ve been burned so many times before and Jack—“
“Y/N is not Jack though,” Sam cuts in and it’s quiet for a moment.
Then Lena mumbles what sounds like, “I know. . .” followed by a “What am I supposed to do now?”
I sigh and move away from the door again. What they’re talking about is none of my business even though they’re taking about me.
It also doesn’t help that I wouldn’t be able to answer that question myself. What could Lena possibly do to undo what she did this morning?
I honestly don’t know and before I can lend that question any more thought, my phone starts ringing.
I glance at the screen to see that it’s Harper again.
I roll my eyes with half a mind to decline the call, but then I think better of it and reluctantly answer with a strained, “What do you want, Harper?”
________________________________________________
I’m not all too happy with how this part turned out, but I’m not in the mood to rewrite it. Proofreading (like always) will be done over the course of the next couple of days.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that I love your comments and that I read every single one of them even though I don’t reply to all of them <3
Tag list: @nuianced-tck-enby @autorasexy
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For Slick Sunday: I've read (and re-read!) watch it all burn, and I've always been curious what you think might have happened if Robin and Steve hadn't been kidnapped. Would Eddie have at some point gone back for Steve? Or would Steve move away? I love love love the way things played out in the actual story, I've just always been curious!
oh man. it’s kind of hard to untangle the kidnapping plot from the rest of the fic because eddie’s hackles were raised by the rumors of something bad happening and that’s the primary reason he pushed steve away.
i guess if eddie had shut it all down before steve and robin were kidnapped, that would be a different story for sure!
robin was absolutely planning on helping him regardless. she would realize he was being tailed and start trying to get steve a place of his own where eddie would have no control over him.
and as soon as things were safe again? eddie probably would’ve come calling and be met with the omega he left and an infant daughter he knew nothing about.
i dare say that steve would be a lot less forgiving if he went through his entire pregnancy and birth without his alpha. i think initially he’d allow eddie to see their baby (once he felt confident he wouldn’t the taking her away from him)
then it would be time for ass-kissing. eddie would be working for months. bringing presents, showing steve that he meant it when he said he was sorry, making sure his omega knows that steve and dove are his entire world.
robin would be protective the entire time, supervising their visits and not allowing steve to forgive too easily. she and chrissy are almost as bitter as steve is and eddie’s entire organization almost falls apart in the process of trying to win his heart back.
eventually they’d get there. it would just be taking the long way around i suppose!
#slick sunday#steddie#steddie omegaverse#omega steve harrington#alpha eddie munson#watch it all burn#the bunny and the wolf#my asks#anon asks#a/b/o#omegaverse#mpreg#cw mpreg#tw mpreg
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Jaune walked through the halls of the Vacuo hospital building with flowers in his hand and stopped at a door, the number 115. He knocked on the door and was met by the one person he had hoped not to run into first, Mr.Pelondina.
"What do you want, Jaune?" Pietro asked, gripping the handles of his wheelchair with suppressed anger.
"I wanted to check on Penny, see how she's holding u-" Jaune began to explain before he was cut off.
"Did you think of that before or after you chose to stab her huh?!" Peitro yelled before coughing and looking up at Jaune.
"Mr.Pelondina you have to understand tha-" Jaune tried to speak only to be cut off again.
"No, YOU need to understand that I don't want you around MY DAUGHTER anymore!" Peitro said, pressing the call button as a nurse came over.
"Yes? How can I help?" She asked.
"I want him gone and to not be allowed to see my daughter" Peitro said as the Nurse nodded and turned to Jaune and led him from the room.
"I'm sorry, sir, but her father has expressed not wanting you here. Please leave and have a nice day." The nurse says as Jaune nods and leaves with his head down in defeat.
Back at the camp area, Jaune comes back, setting the flowers down, before sitting in front of the campfire and curling up into a ball and placing his head on his knees and tried to fight the tears that were forming until he felt a hand on his shoulder as he looked up and saw Qrow.
"Hey ki- well I guess kid doesn't want anymore considering what you've been through in the ever after, come on let's talk a walk" Qrow says helping Jaune off his feet as the two walked through Vacuo seeing how everyone was doing.
While they walked, Jaune told Qrow about what happened at the hospital and in the crossroads.
"That's alot to take in, I'm surprised you haven't gone insane." Qrow says before speaking once again. "I know you want to see her but maybe give him and Penny some space. Winter told me that she saw a stab wound that matched your sword and put two and two together but what threw us both off was the fact the wound was healed" Qrow says.
"I figured out that I could use my Semblance on objects and use them as a connection, so when I stabbed Penny I had used my Semblance and had it course through me sword and into the stab wound. I never wanted to kill Penny, I had already lost Pyrrha to Cinder and I wasn't about to lose Penny too Qrow" Jaune says looking at Qrow.
"I understand, come on Willow is helping Klien cook up some shrimp gumbo and it hits the spot. I'm sure you'll feel better after it" Qrow says as Willow runs over and plants a kiss on Qrow's cheek.
"Hello my dark knight, hello Jaune" Willow says with a smile.
"Hello love, I hope you don't kind if I invited Jaune to dinner" Qrow says as Willow shook her head.
"Of course not. He looks like he could use some friendly company," Willow says, leading Qrow and Jaune to the massive cookout where everyone was including Peitro and Penny, who was being wheeled around by Winter.
Winter noices Jaune and walks over while wheeling Penny over with her.
"Greetings Jaune, how have you been" Winter asked.
"I've...I could be better" He says not making eye contact before he felt Penny's hand intertwine with his.
"Salutations boyfriend Jaune" Penny says with a smile and tears in her eyes as she let his hand go and opened her arms for a hug as Jaune teared up and dropped to his knees and hugged Penny not letting her.
While Penny brushed his blonde hair with her hand and began to softy sing a calming tune to make Jaune calm down.
"I want to see you smile, Jaune, not cry," Penny says as all of his ffiened surround him and join in the hug.
#jaune arc#penny polendina#rwby#jaune x penny#rwby angst#qrow branwen#pietro polendina#Qrow x Willow#ruby rose#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#winter schnee#willow schnee
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hey baby i was wondering if you dream of your sister? bc i dream of my dad so regularly that its disorienting waking up, but its actually kinda nice too. so i was wondering if its like a thing that happens to people who’ve lost a loved one? i love you, youre doing amazing xxx
i do dream of her, though these days she's just kind of casually in my dreams rather than playing like a pivotal role. when she first died she was in them all the time. a lot of the dreams i have are about trying to get in touch with her and begging her to come back, but in the dream she has only moved away, she isn't dead, and our phone connection is always bad so i cant speak to her properly. or we've swapped places and in the dream im dead and she's trying to contact me which is always a proper mindfuck. i think it's normal when grieving to experience lost loved one in dreams, but i know that doesn't make it any easier to handle. i was scared to go to sleep for a long time after she died because i knew dreaming that she was alive and waking up to her being dead would be like finding out she was gone all over again - and it was, but at the same time there's nothing i could do about it. so ive tried to just take them as they come and ground myself when i wake up. breathing exercises, crying, meditation, putting water on my face etc. sometimes it's nice to see them again even if it's not real, but it's definitely super disorienting and i still haven't fully come to terms with the dreams even 3 years later. yeah, i think it's super common and just another part of grief that you have to learn to navigate through (awful) experience. im so sorry about your dad and i truly hope you can find a way to carry on his memory and his presence, even if it's just by living out your own life and being who you are. also thank you sm for being sweet and for the lovely words - i love you too, please keep on taking it one minute at a time. XXX
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Not much to recommend about America but shout out to me being born American for the fact that I was disgusted when I found out that in British they're legally required to drill religion into little kids in schools and the majority of that "religious education" has to be Christian
#i went to elementary school in British#and they made us sit in the nasty ass cafeteria once or twice a DAY and sing bible songs#and they'd have this preacher come in and these bible re-enactoes#and if you were good sometimes you got to be a character in the bible re-enactments#i got to be a rainbow once they made me hold one end of a rainbow ribbon and that was just it#that's ironic#they would put tea towels on our heads#not chuck e cheese#sorry for being gone it will happen again
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you dream of devouring your friends whole
#the 'it' and 'that' sif is referring to is the act 3 loop hangout but i enjoy being vague in dialogue it feels natural. tee hee.#serious time means everyone gets noses btw. sorry about the slow metamorphasis back into my usual style from my mimicry#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat act 5 spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat siffrin#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#sifloop#YES IM TAGGING THE SHIP. THUMBS UP. READ INTO THAT HOW YOU WILL BECAUSE IT WAS ON MY MIND WHEN DRAWING IT AT THE LEAST#aaaaaanyway. my personal reading of loop is. how do you say... flowey-esque. to invoke a fellow antagonistic timelooper. since imo#they do seem even fuuurther gone than sasasap sif was when we saw them. and BOY DOES LATEGAME ISAT SIF HAVE SOME INTRUSTIVE THOUGHTS#so uh. who's to say what happened in there. since we know start again isnt quite congruent as loop never beat the king.#i wouldn't blame them for going maybe a little mad. just a lil#it is important to me that loop is. perhaps a bit haunted. AND THAT THEY GET THROUGH IT!!! but they are haunted#lucabyteart#anyway uhhh. probably should put a cw for implied cannibalism??#cannibalism mention
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what if disneyland…!!!! some scenarios
+ self indulgent applejuice
#recently took my kalim nui to disneyland so ideas have been running thru my mind#ARJFJH I LOVE POP MUSIC CLUB SM#AND APPLEJUICE#AND I DONT EXPRESS IT WNOUGH BUT SEBEK IS A RLLY FUNNY GUY TOO THEYRE ALL SO AWESOME#sebek would NEVER let malleus out of his sight but malleus would probably magically end up lost when sebek blinks#sorry for being gone for like two weeks hopefully it wont happen again LOL#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst art#twisted wonderland fanart#disney twst#twst fanart#kalim al asim#lilia vanrouge#cater diamond#twst pop music club#sebek zigvolt#malleus draconia#deuce spade#epel felmier#epeldeuce#aka applejuice#see you in hell you stupid fruit
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today's mood
#horrortale papyrus#i wrote a long post but you know. maybe i should try that thing#where you don't vomit words and feelings all over the place#that's what everybody else does#but i love being me and i like throwing tantrums in the open. why hide it#look at me I'm sad. except i always feel better after writing it out#hi. sorry i said I'd be gone and then i came back. it will happen again.#still haven't decided about August though. i an getting conflicting advice about internet situation.#this wasn't today's mood but actually a different day's mood. just clarifying
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Stelle loves it when lipstick marks get left on her! She makes the most smug and lovesick looks after getting a few kisses from you. She especially loves it when you leave a deep red lipstick stain on her forehead. Nothing better than pulling back her bangs and a loving surprise showing up as she looks in the mirror.
#sorry for being gone for so long#most likely will happen again but not any time soon#also ive been obsessed with lipstick marks#something abt them make me go feral#x gn reader#x female reader#x fem!reader#hsr stelle#hsr x reader#hsr#honkai star rail#star rail#hsr stelle x reader#honkai star rail imagines#honkai stelle#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail stelle#honkai star rail stelle x reader#men and non sapphics dni
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NOW I HEAR YOUR VOICE EVERYTIME THAT I THINK I’M NOT ENOUGH
#but literally like#that’s exactly what happens now#AND I FANTASIZE ABOUT A TIME YOU’RE A LITTLE FUCKING SORRY#LIKE???? is there NO guilt?!?! i have to live with the grief and you get to be fucking happy#‘i deserved to move on’ ‘you think it was easy to move on’ IDGAF you still moved on??????#YOU ONCE CALLED ME FOREVER NOW YOU STILL CAN’T CALL ME BACK#the FUCK happened to loving me always????????? through thick and thin???? i never stopped fucking loving you despite what i was going thru!!#all i feel now is fucking shame and disgust for myself because didn’t i fucking say?????? didn’t i fucking say you were gonna leave me again#and you swore you never would again!! then wtf happened!!!#you couldn’t handle my trust issues with you and i just know you hated me for not getting over them#i literally can never trust anyone ever again i am never trusting anybody with my fucking heart again EVER i can’t do it anymore#AND I JUST CANT IMAGINE HOW YOU COULD BE SO OKAY NOW THAT IM GONE#literally you’re fucking okay and in fucking LOVE with SOMEONE ELSE i am literally fucking NOTHING to you anymore#you always have and will ALWAYS find love in and with someone else and i never will again#the possibility of being with someone again literally disgusts me i am not doing it ever again#‘you’ll find someone else eventually’ i am NOT like YOU who always finds someone else i literally have NEVER found anyone else since you#i am literally and have never been enough and you don’t care#v#belle speaks
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Ok… I fully accept that he may very well not be naked/half naked here but imagination is a wonderful thing
Plus I love this episode- and the fact that he slept in the bath…
I mean what??
Side point.. I wonder if Evans does sleep naked.. Hmm I may need to muse on that point a little more
You know.. for science
#shaun evans#itv endeavour#endeavour morse#half naked wednesdays#hnw#aka the wednesday special#I accept he may not be naked here#but just use your imagination#lol I know you already have#you don’t need my guidance here#he’s sleeping in the bath#that kills me evey time#I mean. the bath#out of everywhere you could sleep#surely they could just have shared the bed#I mean I’d happily share a bed with him#although not if I had to stay away from him#that would be ridiculous#and impossible#and what happens if Shirley needs the toilet in the night#and other musings that I have#whilst watching this show#he didn’t really think that through did he#how do you even sleep in a bath#and isn’t it a bit like sleeping on the wet patch#sorry this has all gone a bit awry#my tags are writing themselves again#it’s all Evans fault#for being too damn hot#hot damn evans
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