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shotorozu · 3 years

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encountering a ‘pick me’ girl

character(s) : kirishima eijirou, todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki (bnha)

warning : PICK ME GIRL, misogyny (?) pick me girl makes an off handed comment about your body but it’s not detailed at all

PART TWO — PART THREE

legend : [Y/N = your name] afab! reader, but they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, angst if you squint

note(s) : i made 2 versions of this post so,, if you’re reading this— then i probably decided that i liked this one more than the other one i made,, anyways, i used real life examples 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

kirishima eijirou

i’d imagine that eijirou would have an idea of what a pick me girl is— i mean, there were probably 2 of those girls in middle school

but has he experienced it first hand? nahh.

though, eijirou didn’t think he’d encounter one when he was already in a healthy and committed relationship!

eijirou is practically friends with everyone— and yeah, even the most unexpected. so, he’s bound to accidentally befriend a pick me girl

him, being the nicest one out of all of the characters in this list, will still be nice to said pick me girl, despite wanting to snob them to the core

because really— you can’t really fight fire with fire in some cases

but, he can be everything but lenient when the pick me girl starts insulting you for doing certain things, and for absurd reasons too

like,, how you laugh, and how you take care of yourself (for example— if you wear makeup, or how you style your hair)

which is odd! everything about you is everything but the things the pick me girl has stated so.. he cannot stand by.

SCENARIO

the girl giggles to herself after that snide comment leaves her lip gloss coated lips. eijirou shifts uncomfortably— honestly taken aback by the anything but subtle insult that was thrown at you

“like.. seriously! it’s honestly quite superficial if you look at it like that. who the hell would put that much effort infront of your boyfriend? i’d assume they’d see everything AND everything but.. i guess not.”

you blink. superficial? now that’s a new one. the girl infront of you has been babbling insults sugarcoated in boasts the entire time, and you’re just wondering if it’s about time you guys leave but—

“well that’s unfair,” your boyfriend laughs, “i put the same amount of effort as this cutie right here,” eijirou pokes at your cheek, earning a quick laugh from you— which he can only thank the heavens for that

“but that’s different. it actually looks put together when you’re doing it, eiji.” the certain glint in her smile makes you want to wipe it right off with a dirty mop, “it’s impossible to look put together with expensive clothes, but being built like a—”

the sound of the sliding of a chair is quicker than your actions, and it easily cuts her off.

“i’m sorry, but we gotta go, it’s totally not cool of you to say those things about Y/N!”

“what? but i mean.. it’s true, right? i’m looking out for them! they’re literally out here l—”

“bye!” eijirou waves her goodbye with your hand, dismissing the sour expression on her face— as he dashes off with you

you’d question how he’s just so nice to people like that, but when he turns around, you could see the distaste in his eyes

“so that’s what a pick me girl’s like,” shaking his head, his expression lights up with such a quick manner “i’ll never make friends that are like that again!”

safe to say, eijirou’s friend list has been a a person shorter ever since that incident

bakugou katsuki

oh, so that girl’s bold bold.

if she thinks she could get away with being a not so subtle pick me girl infront of bakugou katsuki, then she couldn’t be more wrong.

it’s absolutely revolting— i mean, he hasn’t displayed any romantic feelings towards ANYONE that isn’t you.

also, they’re quite gutsy if you ask me. so congrats for having guts??

i don’t think he’d be friends with a pick me girl. he’s very selective of who he’s befriending, so it’s probably your friend that’s the pick me girl in this case

he wouldn’t know what a pick me girl would be, but he’d probably know the description of one.

over some time, he’d grow some resistance to insults directed at him, but when someone insults his s/o

oh boy. that’s not good. remember when i said that katsuki was almost like your scary and intimidating dog

this is what i mean

knows he can’t make a scene, so his first option is to be dismissive asf— but if said pick me girl literally can’t get it, he won’t be afraid of shoving some explosions into her face

because his hands are rated e for everyone

SCENARIO

“so you wanna be picked or something, is that it?” he hates how you literally have the resistance of a rock— which is something he always liked, but in this case hated. if it weren’t for you— he would’ve blasted explosions into her sorry excuse of a face until it’s beyond recognition (that wouldn’t be hero like, is what you’ve said in the past, but he disagrees.)

but seriously? ugh. he just wants to leave this horrid place, and make some dinner with you in the comfort of his home. why are you even friends with her anyway? she’s not even trying to be slick at this point.

“p-picked? i’m not understanding, katsu.”

“it’s bakugou.”

“right,” her laughter is like nails on chalkboard, “i’m just watching out for Y/N, y’know? there’s no point in wearing all of that.. on their face.” and she’s obviously referring to your obviously very well done makeup

“it’ll make your skin terrible in the long run! and really— i couldn’t really understand on why someone would wear that much, when you could survive with i dunno.. lip gloss at most?”

you would’ve actually said something as a rebuttal, but your boyfriend is quicker, and a lot more direct than anyone else in the area.

“just say you can’t do makeup and fucking scram,” katsuki’s ice cold glare finally breaks out of the act he’s been trying to hold together for you

“their makeup is fucking bomb as hell, compared to your ridiculous spider lashes, lady. come back when you’ve watched james charles’ entire fucking channel.” he harshly states in similar bakugou fashion, despite the lack of screaming.

and if you squinted hard enough, you could see tears welling up in her eyes. but katsuki tugs your hand before anything else could be said

“let’s fucking go, you need better friends.”

he makes you cut ties with all of them, and he practically scolds your terrible choice of friends— but he goes quiet when you tell him that you’ve been friends with her since middle school

“good fucking riddance. next time, i’ll punch them as soon as they say something outta line, got that?” and next time (hopefully, there won’t be a next time) you’ll actually lash out— or maybe,, you’ll let him loose for once.

todoroki shouto

now shouto might be,, socially unaware sometimes. but he can tell whenever someone’s trying to insult his s/o

like,, right away.

now— you both run into this person after a pleasant date, and she eagerly presented herself as your friend

so, her attitude catches him off guard because who’d have anything rude to say about you and towards shouto’s face? especially when it’s about something normal.

like,, wasn’t she your friend?? why is she even like this?

his hostility is very well known, so they should be scared.

he gets detached from the conversation, and he’ll immediately go cold— and shouto would probably go as far as walking away with your hand in his

doesn’t matter if he properly says goodbye or not— if a girl’s being rude to his s/o, they obviously don’t deserve his usually polite attitude. nope, that’s a luxury.

oh— and what more when they’re seeking for his validation. newsflash! said pick me girl won’t be get any from him.

SCENARIO

shouto couldn’t stop the bitterness bleeding into his mouth, when the girl in front of him continued to babble and take up the valuable time he had left with his s/o

initially, she presented herself as your friend from middle school— but as of now? she seems to be more interested in him more than you, despite knowing you first.

she’d ask him a string of obvious questions with very obvious answers, like ‘is she treating you well?’ ‘is she acting correctly?’ and questions of the sort

“oh, sorry! i’d hate to cut this conversation short, but—” you finally decide that it was about time to leave, while shouto looks pretty,, deadpanned right now, you could tell that he was gradually starting to get irritated by your friend’s words.

“wait. thats.. kind of controlling, don’t you think? do you ever let shou make decisions?”

“uh.. controlling? since when??” you question at the accusation. this girl knows nothing about your relationship dynamic, and she’s already jumping the gun and making conclusions.

your gaze snaps back to shouto, who looks just as surprised as he could possibly be.

“yeah! it clearly looks like he still wants to talk” which is an obvious lie, shouto just wants it out of here “i wonder how you managed to snag such a guy like him,” she comments with a smile that looked anything above suspicion (yet, it makes your stomach churn)

you could see the way her hand gets gradually closer to him— and frankly, you’re not sure about what she was planning to do next, “you wouldn’t need to dress all expensive and fancy, if you’re with a girl with an already classy appear—”

“i think this conversation is over,” shouto grip is firm on the wrist that was attempting to grab his shoulder, shouto makes no attempt to even look at the girl infront of him “i don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not humorous. at all.”

“what?” she stammers, drawing her hand back “i-it’s obvious they don’t know how to take a joke! this is why there are barely any good w—”

shouto’s next actions knocks her speechless, his hand rests at the small of your back, before gently guiding you forward— “love, what movie are we watching later?” he says, making an effort to press a quick, yet intense kiss on your lips

“oh,” you breathe out, surprised by this action. “don’t be so tense, love.” shouto comments on how tense your shoulders have looked, ever since she started running her mouth, “now.. what movie do you want to watch tonight? comedy? thriller?”

“you pick,” you laugh at the quick shift of topic. and when you look behind you, you could see shame and defeat welling up on her face. shouto finally feels like he could smile again, the bitterness dissipating from his mouth

after shouto questions you if that was what a pick me girl was, he makes sure that you guys won’t ever encounter such thing again

“you.. don’t have more friends like that, right? if you do— we could always do another friend list cleansing.” this statement makes you laugh but shouto is anything but joking

but being reminded of his reaction to that ‘pick me’ girl does puts a smile on your face.

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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ddarker-dreams · 3 years

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Crash and Burn. Yan Diluc x Reader

Warnings: Yandere themes, mild NOT SFW implications, unhealthy relationships, kidnapping and isolation. Word count: 1k.

“… Would it really hurt you to speak to me?”

Yes, it very much would, you think without bothering to hide your grimace.

It matters little that you’re covered in pricey garments from head to toe, because even with clothes on, you feel pitifully bare beneath Diluc’s unrelenting stare. He doesn’t need to verbally point out how well he can read your various mannerisms, you already know it. Unfortunately, it’s far from a mutual understanding. There was a time you were able to interpret his body language without trouble. Those days have long passed, to the point you sometimes question if they ever occurred at all.

Master Crepus’ death changed more than you could ever fathom.

Diluc sighs, a quiet and exhausted sound. “I brought you some gifts.”

He pauses for a response that never comes. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, much less willingly engage in friendly conversation; not after all he’s done. He busies himself by setting various trinkets upon your wooden vanity. It comes to mind that everything in this space has been tainted by Diluc in some regard. No detail too small is spared from your cynical judgment.

Take the bergère chairs, for instance. An initial viewing would lead one to the conclusion that it’s innocent. That is, until you look closer, and think in the same paranoid manner Diluc does. The legs of the chair have been screwed to the wooden floor. This riddle plagued your mind during your first days here but later became a morbid game of sorts. Your current theory is that he was concerned you’d try to break the window by throwing the chair at it, though you have no way of validating this notion.

There’s a story and reasoning behind each piece of furniture and decoration in this grandiose room.

“I’ve heard this book is popular in Inazuma,” he places said book down alongside the rest he’s gotten you. “And this perfume is your favorite, isn’t it? I’ll put it here.”

Diluc contents himself with straightening out your various belongings. It makes for an unusual sight, the most notable of Mondstadt’s nobility worrying over such inane things. Maybe it’s a way to dispel the guilt by pampering you. Whatever the case, you can’t manage even an ounce of sympathy. Your gaze falls to your lap when he looks your way once more.

“If there’s anything else you’d like, let me know, and I’ll see it done,” Diluc comes to sit by you on the loveseat, thigh to thigh. You don’t bother fending him off like you used to. His strength lingers in territories of uncanny, without your equipment you’re bound to lose, even if he is holding back. Bastard. An idea you’ve been entertaining for a while comes to mind and you decide to give it a go. Hopefully, he won’t consider your change in demeanor suspicious, not that you’re expecting to get very far. There’s not much left for you to lose at this point anyways.

“Diluc,” you call, your voice as gentle as a spring breeze, the aforementioned male stiffening at your unexpected attention. “There is one thing I want.”

Your eyes meet. He’s quick to recompose himself, face no longer betraying his emotions. You can still tell he’s excited at the prospect of you speaking to him. That’s just how it’s always been, you realize, even when you were both kids. What’s changed is the purity behind his attentions as the years have gone by.

“And that is?” When he speaks, you can feel his warm breath against your face, and it’s just now realizing how close you two are. This is undoubtedly catching him off guard. To further your ploy, you move your face closer, your lips but a hair’s width from his own. Diluc’s adam’s apple bobs as he swallows thickly, practically basking in the ethereal glow of your presence. You lean forward, giving him a considerate view of your chest, his eyes flickering down and back up again. He is but a man.

“It feels like a part of me is missing,” your words are from the heart, further assisting your cause, as he furrows his eyebrows at the thought of your plight. “I’d do anything to have it back.”

You take a strand of his scarlet hair in between your fingers and twirl it. “Please… please let me have my Vision back.”

Diluc’s breath hitches and he frowns deeply. It was a longshot — you were keenly aware of that — but he’s nothing if not eager to please. Taking that into account, you intend on whittling him down. This will be the first of many such attempts. From how his shoulder’s slump ever so slightly, it’s likely you’re starting to get to him. Good. Let him suffer as you have.

“I can’t do that,” he takes your hand into his gloved one, stopping you from your previous ministrations. For whatever reason, he doesn’t let go, instead holding it tighter. “There are horrors beyond what you could ever imagine outside these walls. And you… you’ve always been under my protection, whether you knew it or not.”

The implications aren’t lost on you. It was no mere coincidence that when you were free to roam Mondstadt at your leisure, your life had been mysteriously taken care of by some unknown force. From bills getting being paid for, to gifts at your doorstep, or never once being harassed by the Fatui. He’s trying to tell you that without him, none of that would’ve been possible. A sigh leaves your lips at yet another unsuccessful attempt. You’ll have to refine your technique for next time.

“I know it hurts and I know you miss how things were. But now you’re never at risk of being harmed, you can wake every day and allow me to take care of everything.” Diluc squeezes your hand before releasing his grip. Without wasting time, you slink back, no longer having a reason to stand being near him.

You give a lifeless, bitter smile. “As long as you think that way, I can never return your love.”

He closes his eyes.

“I accepted that long ago.”

#diluc x reader #yandere diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact #genshin impact #genshin impact imagine #diluc ragnvindr x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #diluc #diluc genshin impact #my stuff

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genshin-impact-writings · 3 years

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Hi there! I’m one of the many silent readers that enjoys your writing but rarely interacts with anything (I’m shy!) Speaking up this time to let you know that your efforts are 💯% appreciated!!!

Saw your reqs are open for Thoma and Baal but don’t have to do it if you don’t want to: welcome tour with Thoma but it’s an actual tour instead of some hidden agenda to try to recruit you into the resistance 🙃

Heya! Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate your support! <3 And thank you for your request. I got a bit carried away while writing this and it doesn't fit your original idea perfectly but I hope you'll like it nevertheless. Have a great day/night and take care, dear! :)

Welcome to Inazuma – Thoma x gn!reader

Your palms felt a bit sweaty when you entered Inazuma City, immediately surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the area that was much more crowded and noisier than Ritou where you had arrived a couple of days ago. There were soldiers everywhere, and although you knew that you had a valid travel permit, the sight still made you nervous.

You didn’t know much about the things that had happened in Inazuma recently but judging from everything the Adventurer’s Guild had told you before they sent you here, the situation was still quite tense. Surely, it would be best to avoid any unnecessary attention until you had spoken to your new superiors, and so you took a deep breath and bowed your head as you continued to make your way through the city.

Finding the local branch of the Guild luckily wasn’t too difficult, and by the time you had arrived there, your nervousness had already started to subside. “Hello Katheryne,” you greeted the familiar receptionist before handing over your papers. “I’m (Y/N), from Mondstadt.”

“Welcome to Inazuma,” she replied with the same polite smile you had already seen so many times. “The local adventurers have anticipated your arrival but unfortunately, they are quite busy with their commissions today, so they can’t welcome you right now. But perhaps you would like to take a walk through the city in the meantime? There’s a lot to see and it’s surely more interesting than sitting around and waiting for the others to return.”

And that is how it came that you were wandering around the city for the second time on that day, trying to process all the new impressions that besieged you. There were various restaurants and food stalls, smaller and larger shops that sold all kinds of things, and you couldn’t deny that the whole situation was quite overwhelming, especially compared to your home town Mondstadt where everything was a bit more leisurely and relaxed. But at the same time, it made you incredibly happy to be able to explore a place like this.

“Excuse me but – are you (Y/N)? The adventurer from Mondstadt?” a voice behind you asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. When you turned around, you saw a tall, blonde man standing behind you, dressed in dark red and black clothes and, as you noticed almost immediately, with a Pyro vision attached to his belt. But what really caught your attention were his friendly, bright green eyes.

“Um,” you hesitated with your answer. “Yes.”

“Oh, great!” His lips curled into a delighted smile, and he quickly grabbed your hand to shake it. “I’m Thoma! Miss Kamisato told me you’d arrive today and asked me to show you around.”

“Miss Kamisato?” you repeated. Of course, you had heard of the Kamisato Clan and their role in the recent events but you weren’t too sure why they were so well informed about your arrival in Inazuma.

Still smiling, Thoma nodded. “Most of your future commissions actually come from the Kamisato Clan. As you may or may not have guessed already, things are a bit complicated in Inazuma right now and we all could need another helping hand to deal with some of these inconveniences. That’s why the local Adventurer’s Guild asked Mondstadt and Liyue for help, you see.”

You hummed in response. His explanations made sense, and he seemed to be a sociable and friendly companion, so there was really no reason to dismiss his offer to show you around the city. In the end, you thought to yourself, it could only be of advantage to explore the area together with a local.

“Okay,” you finally replied and hesitatingly returned his smile. “Where should we go first?”

“And here we have the Yae Publishing House,” your companion explained a couple of hours later, gesturing towards the building complex in front of you. It was an unobtrusive, yet fairy large building, compared to the others, but the stall right in front of it was all the more interesting. The shelves bent under dozens of books in various shapes and sizes, organized in a classification system you couldn’t figure out at first glance.

“If you ever need something to read, this is the place to go,” the man by your side continued, and you turned your head to look at him. “I don’t think I’ll have a lot of time to read in between my commissions.”

Thoma laughed, a contagious, joyful laugh that you found more attractive than you wanted to admit. “I’ll have to make sure that you don’t overwork yourself, then.”

“I can take care of myself just fine, thank you,” you replied and grimaced at him when he only laughed more at your words. “No doubt, dear adventurer. But everyone needs someone to look after them sometimes, don’t you agree?”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Is that so? We’ve spent almost the entire day with each other.”

You rolled your eyes but it was nearly impossible to fight back the smile that tugged at the corners of your mouth now. “You must be insane if you think that a few hours are enough to get to know me properly.”

He winked at you. “Thankfully, the day isn’t over yet. We still have plenty of time to chat. So, how about we take a break and grab something to eat before we continue our little tour? I know some great restaurants that are just around the corner. It’s my treat, of course.”

“That sounds like a really good idea,” you said, letting out a quiet shriek when he linked arms with you and dragged you along before you could even finish your sentence. “A bit impatient, aren’t we?”

An apologetic smile and an almost innocent look were his only answer at first. Then, with an overdramatic sigh, he added, “What can I say? Food is my weak point.”

“Then we should definitely hurry – who’s going to show me where I can watch the sunset if you’re going to pass out from malnutrition?”

He grinned. “Well, luckily I know the perfect spot to do that. Once we’ve finished our meal, I’ll take you there, dear adventurer.”

“Now, would you look at that,” Thoma said quietly, pointing towards the horizon where the sky was painted in the most gorgeous shades of orange, red and purple as the day slowly came to an end. The rippling surface of the ocean reflected the light of the setting sun in a way you had never seen before, and for a few seconds, you could only stare at the spectacle of nature that happened right in front of you.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered then, your eyes still glued to the sky. Next to you, Thoma couldn’t help but smile; a soft, genuine smile that would have made your face heat up if you had seen it.

“Very beautiful, indeed,” he agreed, his voice barely audible, but he wasn’t watching the sunset anymore. Instead, he was looking at you from the corner of his eye. In the warm light of the sun, your skin had an ethereal glow, and your hair that framed your face almost looked like a halo from his perspective. “A sight to behold, one might say.”

You blinked at him, unable to hide your embarrassment when you finally realized that he wasn’t talking about the sunset anymore. He chuckled quietly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fluster you. It’s just – you’re stunning, you know?”

“You’re quite handsome yourself, Thoma,” you replied, a sheepish grin spreading on your face as his eyes widened at the unexpected compliment before he quickly turned his head away to hide the soft, rosy colored blush that creeped up his neck. “Um, thanks, I guess.”

“I mean it.”

Silence fell between the two of you then as you continued to watch the sky getting darker and darker until the sun had almost disappeared over the horizon. You could already see the stars, countless bright dots scattered over the dark blue sky. The quiet rushing of the ocean perfected the peaceful scenery, and for a few moments, you found yourself wondering if you could perhaps stay in Inazuma for a bit longer than originally planned. Surely, the Adventurer’s Guild wouldn’t mind. You could spend more time with exploring the Nation of Eternity – and you could spend more time with Thoma, too. Although you had only known him for barely a day, you couldn’t deny that he had made an impression on you, and you really wanted to get to know him better.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, snapping you out of your thoughts. “You impressed me, too.”

It was only then when you realize that you had wondered out loud about your stay in Inazuma and, more importantly, about him. Oh no. You felt your cheeks heating up in embarrassment and opened your mouth to explain yourself but when you noticed the soft expression in his eyes, you decided to remain silent instead before you’d say even more awkward things.

For a few seconds, neither of you spoke as you kept staring at each other, trying to figure out your next move.

“Would it be too bold of me to kiss you right now?” Thoma finally broke the silence, his voice barely louder as a whisper and his breath softly brushing against your face as he spoke. When you shook your head, leaning in ever so slightly to signalize that you wouldn’t mind it at all, he let his hand trail to the back of your neck to guide you forward before finally closing the gap between the two of you and pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. Your eyes fluttered closed, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as you felt him melt under your touch.

You were both out of breath when he pulled away. A soft smile played around his mouth as he brushed a strand of hair from your face. Leaning in again, he rested his forehead against yours, looking at you with shining, green eyes that were filled with so much honest adoration that it sent a shiver down your spine. “Welcome to Inazuma, my dear adventurer.”

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it please consider reblogging. I would really appreciate the support! <3

Taglist: @blissmal, @aimicoos, @childe-support, @rim0na,@the-gayest-sky-kid, @aphrodicts-imagination

#thoma x reader #thoma genshin x reader #thoma x you #thoma genshin x you #thoma x gn!reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin fluff #gender neutral reader #gn!reader #reader insert #thoma x y/n

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septembercfawkes · 3 years

Text

The Backbone of Cliffhangers & 4 Types

I've heard a lot of audience members say that they hate cliffhangers. But do you want to know a secret? I kinda love a good cliffhanger (along with everything else I'm not supposed to love, like *cough cough* prologues *cough cough* teasers).

So today we are going to talk about cliffhangers: why we should use them, mistakes people make with them, and four different types. I'll probably be bringing up some points you hadn't thought of before, so even if you don't much like cliffhangers, you might want to stick around. Who knows, maybe you'll have more respect for them by the end.

And in case you need a little refresher, a cliffhanger is when the narrative suddenly cuts away from showing or revealing something important to the audience. This creates suspense by leaving a critical issue unresolved. It lacks closure.

Why Use Cliffhangers?

If people say they hate cliffhangers, why use them?

The answer you will hear most often is that by delaying information, we get the audience to stick around longer. We get them to turn the next page, start the next episode, or buy the next book.

While that is a valid reason, I admit it sounds shallow. I think there is more to them than that.

Cliffhangers are great for another reason: They get the audience to participate in the story.

One of the best things about cliffhangers is the fact they cut away from an intense moment. This often forces the audience to pause and think.

If a murderer is about to be unmasked, this gives the audience a moment to pause and think who they think the murderer is. It may give them a second to change their guess as to who the murderer is.

If something shocking just happened, it gives the audience a moment to consider the ramifications of that.

If a confrontation is about to take place, a cliffhanger gives the audience a second to anticipate how that is going to play out.

In some cases, a cliffhanger may simply get the audience to participate by asking "What would you do?"

Other than that, cliffhangers are great at emphasizing tense situations. By abruptly cutting away, we force the audience to sit with shock, worry, wonder, or what have you, a little longer.

It can make the moment feel a little more dramatic.

As an audience member, I often love cliffhangers for the second reason: I am asked to pause and think. If a cliffhanger comes at the end of an installment in a series, it gives me time to talk with others about what I think might happen next or what I think the cliffhanger means.

However, not all cliffhangers function the same, and not all ask for much participation.

Nonetheless, cliffhangers aren't always about torturing the audience. Sometimes there is a method to all the madness. 😉

Cliffhanger Mistakes (& Rule Breaking)

While cliffhangers can work well to keep an audience interested in a story, they can't replace other elements of a good story.

Sometimes newer writers will throw in a cliffhanger to try to make the story interesting.

But really, ideally, no story should need cliffhangers to be interesting (more on this in a sec). No story should need cliffhangers to keep the audience reading. A strong story should be able to do that without them.

Cliffhangers are a tool that, when properly used, enhance what is already there.

They aren't meant to create tension and suspense over nothing. (Usually--all rules can be broken).

Another problem that can come up is when a writer uses cliffhangers and then doesn't deliver on what's promised. This makes the moment anticlimactic.

For example, say the protagonist runs into a room to find his loved one bleeding, then we cut away. This is the cliffhanger. When the story cuts back to the scene, the blood turns out to actually be ketchup. This will probably be a disappointment to the audience because they expected something serious.

In other words, it undercuts the tension the story has built up.

It tried to make something out of nothing.

If a writer does this repeatedly, the story loses power and can begin to drag, or worse, become annoying.

However, like everything, this is not to say you can never undercut the build-up effectively. A writer may want to undercut the tension and then surprise the audience with something worse.

So maybe the blood is actually ketchup--the protagonist relaxes, the loved one laughs, the audience breathes a sigh of relief (and maybe even gives an eye roll)--and then BAM! A burglar breaks into the house!

Okay, that may be a little dramatic, but you get the idea. The point is to undercut the tension only to surprise the audience soon after. In this sense, the writer arguably still delivers on the promise of danger, but in an unexpected (though still satisfying) way.

Sometimes undercutting tension can be useful in playing with the audience's expectations. I'm sure we've all seen scary movies like this: a babysitter walks down a long dark hall while creepy music crescendoes--only to have her phone ring innocently and make us jump. Later in the story, something actually scary may happen instead. This can make it difficult for the audience to anticipate the emotional outcome. It can also help set the tone of the piece.

So it's not always bad to break the rules--which in this case would mean, they aren't really "mistakes" since they are done intentionally.

The main thing is not to write cliffhangers that are ultimately going to be a disappointment or to write a story that relies only on cliffhangers to get the audience to keep reading.

Understanding the Backbone of Cliffhangers

For the next bit, I'm going to talk a little about story structure, and then relate it back to cliffhangers, so stay with me.

As we've talked about before, in a well-structured story, everything makes this shape--whether it's a scene, sequence, act, or whole story. And it can even fit in smaller pieces inside a scene. It's essentially like a nesting doll or a fractal.

The climactic moment is sometimes called a turning point because it "turns" the direction of the story.

This moment can only be one of two things (well, or both of them): a revelation, or an action.

These are the only two ways to turn a story.

This is most obvious in the overall plot level because that is what we are most familiar with. THEE climactic moment will either be a revelation or an action and often it's both.

It might be a revelation that leads to an action. Or it might be an action that leads to a revelation.

For example, the protagonist may have an epiphany (a revelation, and often a thematic one) that informs him how to defeat the antagonist, so the protagonist takes that action. Alternatively, the protagonist takes an action to defeat the antagonist, and the result leads to a realization. (Generally speaking.)

Whatever it is, and in whatever it is (scene, sequence, act, or whole plot), that's the turning point.

If you are working with a unit smaller than the whole plot, this shape then repeats itself, for example:

This means that in a great story, you will have plenty of turning points--it's just that a turning point of a scene may be smaller and less dramatic than the climactic turning point of the whole plot, but it's nonetheless significant.

For example, the climactic moment of a murder mystery may be unmasking the serial killer.

But the climactic moment of the opening scene may be discovering the dead body of his first victim.

This means, that ideally, you will be having lots and lots of turning points throughout a story. If every scene has a turning point, that means you'll have at least one turning point in each scene (yeah, I know, that sounds redundant, but bear with me).

This innately creates a story that keeps readers interested because the situation is constantly changing and evolving.

If the structure of your story is solid, then creating a cliffhanger isn't so much about asking "How do I come up with a great cliffhanger?" but instead, "Where do I cut away to make a great cliffhanger?"

In short, this means you use the cliffhanger to enhance the story that already exists. You don't use it to substitute an element.

Now, with that said, it's possible to brainstorm a cliffhanger on a whim and then work it in as an important component of a story. The creative process can become a chicken vs. egg experience.

The idea is not to rely on cliffhangers to make a story compelling.

So next we will talk about four types of cliffhangers based on the basic structure, then I will use an example to show multiple places that would work well to create a cliffhanger.

The four types of cliffhangers for this post are called: Pre-point Cliffhanger, Climactic Cliffhanger, Post-point Cliffhanger, and Post-hook Cliffhanger.

They don't really have official names, so that's me making them up.

Let's dig in!

1. Pre-point Cliffhanger

In the Pre-point Cliffhanger, the narrative is cut just before the turning point. It might cut to a different plotline or it might be the end of the chapter or what have you. But the cliffhanger works by building up to the point with a rising action and then making the audience wait for the climactic moment.

If you are a cliffhanger-hater, this is probably the type you hate most 😆. The story builds up to a critical moment, only to have it interrupted.

As an example of a Pre-point Cliffhanger, say we are following the Mystery Gang as they investigate something supernatural. Just as they are about to unmask the ghost/zombie/banshee/whatever, the show cuts to a commercial. That's what this cliffhanger is like.

Another example may be a detective who's just about to put all the clues together, when the chapter ends and the text switches to another plotline.

In some cases, the character may actually reach that turning point, but the audience doesn't. For example, we could show and imply that the detective has solved the case, but not share with the audience what her realization is.

Or alternatively, we could show Fred from the Mystery Gang unmask the ghost, but not show who the ghost actually is.

All of these examples relate to a turning point based on a revelation, but you can do this with an action turning point as well.

You may have the antagonist whip out a gun to shoot the protagonist's best friend and cut away just before he pulls the trigger.

In a Pre-point Cliffhanger, the audience is usually anticipating an outcome or result.

2. Climactic Cliffhanger

In a Climactic Cliffhanger, the story cuts away mid-turning point. I could just as well call it a "Mid-point Cliffhanger" except that that creates ambiguity, since "midpoint" is already an existing writing term.

Some climactic moments have more than one turn. Remember how I gave an example earlier, about a climax that utilizes both a revelation and an action? Sometimes you can cut away between the two to create a great cliffhanger.

The protagonist may have a massive realization that begs immediate action. Get to the realization, make sure it implies a necessary action, and then cut away. That will keep the audience wanting to come back for more (or give them time to react or think).

It is not necessary that the turns be opposite types. You can sever two revelations, or you can sever two actions.

For example, you may set up a climactic moment that implies, if so-and-so does this, the protagonist will have to do that. If the antagonist aims at the protagonist's friend and pulls the trigger, the protagonist will have to jump in front of the speeding bullet because the friend is necessary to save the world and he is not. You can cut away after the trigger is pulled and before the protagonist jumps out.

Obviously what works and what doesn't depends on the setup and rising action, and in order to do this cliffhanger, the climactic moment must have multiple turns.

3. Post-point Cliffhanger

A Post-point Cliffhanger happens (you guessed it,) after the turning point.

This may not work in all situations.

But often just after a turning point, the audience is left wondering, Now what will they do? Or perhaps they will be looking for meaning, But why did that happen?

Let's look back at the Mystery Gang.

Fred unmasks the ghost.

It's George the electrician!

The next question that innately comes up is, why? Why did George do this? What is his motive?

The show creates a cliffhanger by cutting to a commercial, so we have time to wonder about George.

This is a revelation example. Let's consider an action.

The antagonist shoots the protagonist's friend, but the protagonist jumps in front and gets hit instead. Another ally quickly subdues the antagonist, but the protagonist lies bleeding out.

The next question that comes up is, will the protagonist be okay? What will happen now?

I'll tell you what--it's time to cut away and create a Post-point Cliffhanger!

In a Post-point Cliffhanger, the audience is anticipating meaning and explanation (why?), and wondering what the new direction or goal will be (now what?).

(To some extent, as a lot of these concepts overlap.)

4. Post-hook Cliffhanger

Basic story structure is a repeating shape. This means after the falling action, we will begin a new rising action. Often this starts with a hook or an incident that disrupts the characters' course. You can create a great cliffhanger by cutting away just after that hook or disruption.

A great place you will see this sort of thing used a lot is in a series. We have the climax of the plot, the falling action, and then there is a subtle new rising action--the promise of future problems--which can be developed into a cliffhanger.

For example, perhaps our protagonist defeats a supernatural villain. She goes home as we have the falling action. All seems safe. But in the last chapter, we show that the supernatural villain is actually still alive, and his apparent "defeat" is actually part of a bigger master plan. He releases something deadly that will strike the protagonist's loved ones. Then the book ends.

That is what this cliffhanger looks like.

But it can happen on a smaller scale, too. We could have the falling action of a scene, then the beginning of the next scene, then bam, something that gets us to fear or dread or wonder about what happens next, before we cut away to something else.

The Post-hook Cliffhanger usually occurs after something unexpected or after laying out the stakes. This begins to build the next rising action.

A word to the wise: The reason I mentioned this cliffhanger last is because it's pretty much impossible to open a brand-new story with a cliffhanger. And a cliffhanger is only really a cliffhanger after the audience has gotten invested in the story.

I mean, you can't really start a story with a cliffhanger, because there is no build-up yet. What you can do is build up to the very first turning point and create a cliffhanger. But the very first hook can't really be a cliffhanger--at least not very easily. I mean, it'd be way too early to cut away!

Placing the Cliffhanger (Example of all 4 Types)

As I said earlier, if your story is structured well, it will have a lot of turning points (and hooks), so the question becomes, where do we sever the story to create a great cliffhanger? Not how do we throw in a great cliffhanger? (Generally speaking.)

Not every placement will work for every scene. For example, sometimes it's impossible to do a Climactic Cliffhanger because the climactic moment only has one turn, which you can't split in half.

Let's look at an example where we could choose any one of them.

Now, I usually try not to use examples from my own work for several reasons, but since it's fresh on my mind and proves the point (and I can offer insight into my thought process), I'm gonna pull from a scene I've been playing around with.

One of the plotlines of one of my manuscripts is a murder mystery (though it's not the primary plotline). The scene I've been working on is the obligatory find-the-dead-body scene. But because I'm working with fantasy, the situation is a little different.

The setup is this: The viewpoint character, Scott, knows that an acquaintance, Allie, is dead somewhere in the forest (this information was obtained through a magic system). Assuming she must have fallen off a ledge, Scott thinks he knows the whereabouts of her body. A small search party is formed, and Scott breaks away to search on his own.

Scott's goal is to find the dead body. So the discovery of the body is the climactic moment of the scene.

However, there are several turns:

- At the end of the rising action (the search), Scott catches sight of what he thinks is a body.

- But as he draws near, he realizes it isn't Allie. It's Allie's best friend, Kinsley.

- As he arrives at the body, he sees she didn't die from an accident or predator. This was murder.

- Knowing that this will cause major problems for him (it would take too long to explain, but it relates to the magic system), Scott begins altering the site and messing up the evidence.

- While doing this, he hears another search party member approaching and knows this is gonna look real bad if he's caught red-handed.

That's the basic shape of the scene.

Pre-point Cliffhanger: If I cut away when Scott thinks he sees a body, this creates a Pre-point Cliffhanger. The audience is left wondering if he finally found Allie. They're anticipating a specific outcome.

Climactic Cliffhanger: If I cut away when Scott realizes it's Kinsley, this creates a Climactic Cliffhanger. This is because the climax--finding the dead body (action)--has other turns: It's not Allie (revelation). And it's murder (revelation). So I can sever the turns.

Post-point Cliffhanger: If I cut away after Scott realizes it's murder, this creates a Post-point Cliffhanger. Why? Because the climax is finding (and learning) about the dead body. We've done that. The questions the reader now innately has is, Now what? And Why? He or she searches for explanations and meaning.

Post-hook Cliffhanger: Now that the body has been discovered, we begin a falling action. How do we address and tie up this situation? Well, Scott decides you do that by altering the site and evidence. But then someone starts coming toward him--will he get caught? This is a hook to a new climb. The rising action will deal with possibly being caught. So I can create a cliffhanger by cutting away after the hook.

Each of these options has a slightly different effect. I don't find the Pre-point Cliffhanger as powerful as the others--possibly seeing a body, isn't as big of a deal as finding the wrong body or a murdered body. I could cut in or near-after the point, but in this case, I think leaving the reader with more to think about, rather than less, is most effective.

Also, worth taking into account, is that I have multiple viewpoint characters and plotlines, so it's going to be a while before I get back to Scott. I don't want to cut near the point and force the audience to wait a couple chapters. The longer they wait, the more the suspense drops off, and the more they need to be reminded of what happened when they come back. So in this situation, I think the Post-hook Cliffhanger is the most effective. The audience has plenty to digest and wonder about, and when I pick the plotline back up later, it will be easy to remind them where we were, especially with a situation that demands immediate attention.

Things Worth Knowing

You can totally categorize cliffhangers in other ways. For example, I could talk about physical cliffhangers (taking a bullet for your friend) or emotional cliffhangers (discovering a spouse's infidelity) or shocking cliffhangers (a burglar just broke in!)--but ultimately, if you have plenty of turning points in your plot and you have appropriate structure, cliffhangers get down to knowing when to cut away to something else.

All that other stuff about what the cliffhanger is, gets back to plot. Have a great plot, and you'll have plenty of moments for cliffhangers. (You'll also likely avoid making those cliffhanger mistakes.)

Some may wonder, can you create a cliffhanger during rising action? Yes . . . and no.

The basic story structure is a repeating structure. It also works as a nesting doll or fractal. This means that in some sense, yes, you can have a successful cliffhanger during rising action--because obviously a book can have cliffhangers prior to the climax of the whole plot. However, in a sense no, because what is actually happening is that the writer is working with a smaller version of the structure. Even within a scene, this structure may be present.

For example, in my Scott-finds-the-dead-body scene, this shape is present within it, as a smaller segment. Partway through his search, Scott begins messing around with a magic system. In the overarching story, he has a goal of figuring out how a certain element of it works. Deep in the forest, he starts working on this; however, in the process, he realizes he's been going about it all wrong. Everything he has been doing is wrong. This is a mini-turning point--a revelation that changes the direction of that plotline. But it happens within the rising action of the scene.

This means that I could create a mini-cliffhanger by cutting around that turning point. . . . I may indeed insert a chapter break there because Scott-finds-the-dead-body is too long to be one chapter. This would create a lesser cliffhanger that would pull the reader into the next chapter.

Likewise, this shape may exist within a falling action of a bigger structure. Or run through smaller structures. But let's end that idea here, for today. The main thing is that a cliffhanger will be around a turning point or just after a hook--if it's going to be a legit cliffhanger.

The other thing I could talk about is the actual writing of the cliffhanger. The best thing to say here is that effective cliffhangers are typically slim and fast-paced. They're abrupt. So say enough for the reader to get it, but don't wax strong in long sentences and descriptions. (Of course, though, you can always break the rules.)

And that's pretty much what you need to know about cliffhangers.

They are not as evil as you thought, are they?

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writeblr #cliffhangers #writing reference #writing advice #writing help

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luna--reading · 3 years

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[PICK A CARD] WHAT IS THE NEXT UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS COMING IN FOR YOU?

Hello lovelies~ ♡

This is a pick a card reading for “what is the next unexpected blessings coming in for you”. This is a timeless reading and you’re meant to see this right now! Please do find peace if it doesn’t resonate with you~ ♡

So take a few minutes to mediate on these 4 piles:

Left to right: 1 - 4

Once you’re ready, just scroll below to find the reading that you have chosen!

You can always leave a comment or simply like the post if it resonates with you, thank you so much~ ♡♡♡

Pile 1:

Tarot: The Star, The Fool

Oracle: A YEAR FROM NOW // FEELINGS – Emotions want to be felt. You really can’t surrender something until you deeply feel it. Allow me, dear Divine, to offer all emotions to You, feeling them fully so they no longer hold me captive! // TRUE LOLVE – Your wholeness and safety lie within, not from a partner. But this sovereignty actually leads to the deepest intimacy for you to stop using others. Let me stand on my own feet, dear Lord, and know True Love!

Okay, darling, I feel like this blessing or in fact, these blessings, that I see is going to come in continuously. It’s a continuous effort, I feel and I do feel that it’s going to be consistently flowing in for you within this one year. I do feel that there is a very strong love message here, so especially for those who are worried that you are not going to find a partner, or someone who is going to love you, the angels want you to know that yes, darling, you will get into a relationship. And I do see for most of you, it’s going to happen over the next 1 year. I do feel that this is someone that you’ve been manifesting, or it’s a wish fulfilment and I do feel that this new journey it’s going to be exciting and one that you’ve always been looking forward. The angels want you to know that you’ve been working on yourself, and they want to reward you with this major wish fulfilment, especially if love has been significantly on your mind. I do feel that this person is a true love and I do see a long-term commitment with this person. Be more patient, darling, is what I’m hearing. Over the next 1 year, you’ll start to see all of your manifestations coming together and that is because the angels are rewarding you for your hard work, so please continue working on yourself!

For another group of you, I’m also seeing a message of self-love. I feel like if right now, love is not something that you are looking for, then this blessing is that over the course of the next year, you’ll soon start to heal from past wounds and traumas, and love yourself again. Healing is going to take place over the next 1 year and I feel like you’ll find yourself back again so that you can start on this new journey. I do feel that you are asked to really get in touch with your own emotions and understand why you are feeling in a particular way. Only by understanding your true emotions, can you then allow yourself to heal from all of these past hurts and traumas. You are your greatest supporter, darling, and only by loving yourself first can you then attract the same energy back to you. Please start loving yourself more, darling, the angels have got your back and they are always here to protect and guide you!

Pile 2:

Tarot: King of Wands, Ace of Swords

Oracle: IF YOU BELIEVE // CREATIVE BLOCKS – If you are an artist of any kind, you can offer all work to the Divine, making it God’s alone. I offer this for the Highest Good to benefit the planet. Release me from any blocks and restrictions. May this serve all who need!

Okay, this is definitely my creative pile here! Darling, I feel like this blessing that is coming in for you is the surge of confidence in your own talents and gifts. Some of you may be an actual artist, a dancer, or just in any forms of creative fields. I’m also hearing motivational speakers for some reason. And I feel like maybe you feel like you’ve hit a road block recently, or just your talents and gifts don’t seem to flow as much as you would like it to. The angels want you to know that you have to have trust and faith in your own talents and gifts. I do feel that there is going to be an opportunity for you to shine again on stage, or in public, or just somewhere for you to allow your creative energy to flow again. But firstly, you have to regain that confidence again. You have to tell yourself that you belong on stage, in public, or even just through your daily work. You have to tell yourself that you are as talented and as gifted as others and you can definitely achieve your goals and dreams. I see you having that boost in confidence and allowing yourself to believe in yourself again. Darling, challenges and blockages are compulsory on our journey, but it’s how we overcome them to take in those important lessons. That energy is always within you, darling, but you’ve been fearful of allowing them to flow because of these challenges and blockages. Release those fears, darling, you are talented and gifted and everything will start to flow once you start believing in yourself!

Pile 3:

Tarot: 8 of Swords, 2 of Cups

Oracle: IT’S UP TO YOU // IMPATIENCE – My life is unfolding in Divine timing. All delays are beneficial. I’m always at the right place at the right time.

Now, darling, I feel like you might have been isolating yourself, or just wanting to be all alone recently, or even currently. There is this sense of you withdrawing from your social connections and just simply wanting to be alone. And I feel like this could be because of certain experiences that has resulted in you feeling like, you are being isolated from the rest. And it’s kind of like the energy of “I’ll isolate myself first before you can, so that it’s less hurtful to me that way”. You get what I’m trying to say? I feel like there’s a lot of unwanted thoughts that is causing you to create this barrier between you and your social connections and I feel like that could be due to anxiety or certain overthinking. Now, your thoughts and feelings are all valid, but I do feel that sometimes, you might be very stuck in your own thoughts and it’s just a downward spiral, resulting in this negativity that is around you right now. I do feel that you actually do have a lot of supportive, caring and loving relationships, connections around you, darling. But you aren’t seeing them, are you? I feel like if certain things didn’t unfold the way that you wanted it to (especially when it comes to social connections), you feel like people just don’t feel the same way as you do. So, this can be maybe a romantic interest and you thought that maybe that person doesn’t like you the way that you do. Or this can be a friend who maybe has rejected you on something and you feel like this person doesn’t treat this friendship the way that you do. But I feel like a lot of such rejections does have a story behind them. Maybe it’s not the right time, maybe this person doesn’t have the capability to do so, and so on. I feel like a lot of times, you tend to look at things from your perspective, because to you, you would do the same for others even if it isn’t the right time, or even if you don’t have the capability to do so. But darling, that is not healthy because firstly, you are not setting healthy boundaries for yourself and secondly, you should always put yourself first and not others. I feel like this period of “rejection” kinds of comes in as a lesson for you that you should always know how to set those healthy boundaries, and that only when you set those healthy boundaries, you can then attract the same energy back to you as well. You are not alone, darling, you do have a lot of people who are willing to support you. They love and care for you and those “rejections” from previously, they are here to protect you. Some things are not meant to happen, and maybe this is the angels’ way of telling you, you don’t have that capacity and capability to help everyone, it’s time to take a break. It’s time to free yourself from your negative thoughts and I feel like your blessing is that you’ll soon realise that you do have these people around you, but it’s really up to you if you’d accept this as a blessing into your life!

Pile 4:

PTarot: Knight of Pentacles, The High Priestess

Oracle: GET MORE INFORMATION // COMPANIONSHIP – When you fully bless and embrace your aloneness, you’re ready for the ones who are meant to be with you. May I welcome this solitude knowing it will open the way for all healthy relationships. // EMPOWERMENT – When you ask the Divine to take over, you get pulled into your own authentic power. It’s a force of inner love that WANTS your wholeness and magnificence. Unfold my true and radiant self, dear Lord!

Darling, I feel like there is some message or news that you’ve been waiting for and the blessing that is coming in for you will be this! I do feel that you’ve been working on something. This can be in regards to a work project, or an opportunity in the financial sector, or maybe even in regards to love and self-love. There is something that you’ve been putting in the work and effort and that I feel like as much as you trust the process, you might just feel that there is something that is still not revealed to you. Or you just feel that there is still certain information that is being hidden. I do feel that the angels want you to know that certain information that is being hidden from you now is to protect you and it’s just not the right time. And while there isn’t a clear timing of when this information is coming in for you, I do feel that it’s going to come in at the right time. And the angels want you to simply just trust in the process right now and continue working on this thing that you’ve been working on for so long. It’s really trusting that your angels have your back and that they are always here to protect and guide you.

I do feel that there is also this message of boosting of your self-confidence as a blessing for you. I feel like maybe you aren’t exactly seeing clear results or the results that you wanted in something that you’ve been working on and you are wondering if this is eventually going to work out. Angels want you to know that yes everything is going to work out and you have to trust in yourself. And empower yourself so that you can continue working on this thing that you’ve been working on for so long. These results are coming in slow but they are the most grounded and stable energies. Information, news, messages are all going to flow in for you soon darling, and most importantly, I see you taking back your power. Throwing away all fears and doubts, I see you being confident and empowered soon, darling!

#pick a card #pick a card reading #tarot reading #tarot #love reading #love #career reading #career #blessings

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whatifxwereyou · 3 years

Text

The Oncoming Storm Part 23: Flesh and Bone

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

You find the springs- and it exceeds your expectations but perhaps not in the way you had hoped it would. Something wicked is unfolding.

A/N: I'm going out of town tomorrow but I will do my best to get back to replies as often as I can! Your feedback gives me life <3 I'll be back on Tuesday. You guys probably won't even notice I'm gone, since I've somehow managed to miraculously write enough to cover the space where I won't be around! I'm going to see my family for the first time since the pandemic ;___; !!

Part 22 Part 24 Chapter Index

You drew closer to the wave of clouds above you, and it wasn’t long until you were engulfed by them. It was like the most intense fog you’d ever been in. You had scoured the cliffside for caves along the way but found nothing of note. You stopped walking once you were completely surrounded by the clouds and had long since let go of Liu Kang’s hand.

There was that feeling again. As though you had been lost in this fog before and yet you had never been there. It made you dizzy and you lost sight of Liu in the fog. You could see that man from your vision, walking in front of you, then to the left of you, then to the right. Your head spun and when you closed your eyes, you felt lost. But you weren’t. You knew this place even if you’d never been there. The vision in your head knew it.

You turned and the clouds felt misty on your skin. It was as if you had lost your body and were watching yourself walk through the fog blindly in search of something you weren’t sure that you wanted to find. Then suddenly, very suddenly, as if you were being pulled out of a dream, Liu Kang stood in front of you. Your body was yours again. His right hand was bathed in fire and the shadows it cast on his face were haunting and beautiful.

“Wake up, Y/N.”

He urged his hand to your arm and forced you to look at him. You gasped, your lungs having once again forbidden you air. You closed your eyes tight to shake off the feeling and then searched around you. It was too foggy to tell how far you’d gone but you had the distinct feeling that it hadn’t been very far at all. Liu’s relief was palpable and with a wave of his hand the fire was gone, leaving you in the cold mist of the clouds.

His grip was tight on your arm, as if he were worried that you would walk off again. You caught your breath, chest aching with the lack of it, and knit your brow. “How… how did you know?”

“I just knew.” The concern on his face was valid but the admiration was unexpected. “You’re like flickering lamplight, Y/N. The shadows cast by my flame. I know when you’re not there.” Your tongue was suddenly far too big for your mouth and your heart hurt. You should have kissed him. That was the most romantic thing you had ever heard in your whole damn life. But your chest was aching and your hands were trembling with the fear of losing control of your body. “Do you think that you could lead us using your vision? If it’s taking control of you like that then it clearly wants us to go somewhere.”

“I’m… I can try but I’m afraid.” You were still struggling with air and words. “I don’t know if it’s a good thing it’s leading us. I walked off on Kung Lao and nearly drowned myself yesterday when my vision took over.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. I won’t let go of your hand.” He let his hand move from your arm and down to your fingertips. He leaned closer and whispered. “Trust yourself as much as you trust me.” He stepped back, still holding your hand. You had to try. He was right. If you trusted your gut and it went horribly wrong then Liu would make sure you didn’t jump off a cliff. He was staring back at you, completely relaxed. He trusted you. You could feel it. How could you have ever doubted that? You weren’t sure where to begin but you started with turning off your inner critic. You were unsteady on your feet, unsure of yourself.

“Are you okay?” You couldn’t help but ask. He took both of your hands and walked backwards in front of you which you felt like was a mistake.

“Keep going, Y/N. I trust you. Close your eyes and follow your vision. I will make sure that we’re safe.”

“I…”

“Trust yourself, Y/N.”

You didn’t, that was clear to you both. With a deep exhale, you closed your eyes and then walked. When you walked, Liu walked. You led him blindly along the path through the clouds. The more you walked without plummeting to your deaths, the more confident you felt. And you were in control, which was nice. You walked until he stopped suddenly in front of you, as if he’d run into something. You stumbled into him, letting go of one of his hands to catch the stone behind him, body pressed against his. Eyes fluttering open, Liu let go of your other hand and instead rested both against the sides of your neck. Despite their warmth, they gave you chills.

His thumb brushed over the bruised skin on your neck, other hand gently caressing its way up to your cheek, thumb just beneath your eye. His hands were callused and strong, still somehow soft, controlled just like the rest of him. He had this way of drinking you in, of making you feel like you were something precious and special. You got goosebumps. The pitter-patter of your heart was betraying you, pressed against him like this and it was warranted for more reasons than you could count. The most important of those reasons was Liu Kang.

“You did it,” he whispered but his eyes were on your lips.

“I found it.” You smiled in realization and got the chills. That was a wonderful feeling. It was the first time in ages where you’d trusted your gut and it hadn’t wound up in a complete mess. Without thinking you buried yourself against Liu’s chest, hands gripping at his shirt. You closed your eyes tight and took deep calming breaths.

Don’t get upset.

Don’t cry in front of Liu Kang even if they were happy tears. It had been so long since you’d felt that good.

“What? What is it?” He could sense that you were trying not to get upset and he tucked your hair behind your ear, fixing the flower that had come loose.

“Nothing. I’m just happy.”

“Okay…?”

You lifted yourself from his chest and straightened your posture, but you were hopelessly pressed against him. “So much of these last few weeks with healing and my arcana and the visions… it’s felt like such failure. I’m trying so damn hard and still it seems impossible. One thing after another keeps going wrong and I’m just so grateful to have something work out.”

“Y/N, just because it doesn’t work out how you expect it to, doesn’t mean it’s a failure. You’re learning. Please… be kind to yourself. The shadow hanging over you isn’t any fault of yours. From where I’m standing? You’re doing well.”

God, he was the cutest. So damn sweet. “Thank you, Liu. Thank you for grounding me too. I needed it.”

“Don’t credit me with that. You grounded yourself, Y/N. I just reminded you how to breathe.” He gently took one of your hands from where it was balled up in his shirt and held it in his.

“It’s funny. Sometimes I feel like my brain is such swirling chaos that I’m going to float away, like a leaf on the wind. You have this way of bringing me back and keeping me firmly rooted to the branch.”

“I’m happy to make sure that you don’t float too far for too long if you need me to.” Liu let go of your hand and turned his gaze to his left. His smile faded.

“What? What is it?” You touched his face this time, fingers gently brushing over his cheekbones that curved so perfectly when he smiled. You’d never done that before. He was so handsome that it felt forbidden to touch him.

“Now is not the time. Later. I promise. We have things to do.”

“Yeah. The cave.” You nodded to your right. You hadn’t seen the cavern yet but you knew it was there. He offered a nod to agree.

“Raiden theorizes that these places are protected and changed by the magic that the man from your vision used. He considered that the artifacts could be toxic. The dotaku you found was probably tainted with evil intent in some way.”

“Great, because I had that thing pressed all up against me for way too long.” You frowned. “The monks there said something about it being cursed, too.”

“You seem fine other than the bruises. And the anxiety but I don’t know if that’s related.”

“Tangentially so.” You smiled but then frowned. Kung Lao had been pale that morning. You hoped that he was taking care of himself. “Let’s get this over with.” You stepped away from him, realizing you had essentially pinned him to the wall. He reached into his pockets and pulled out two keychain sized flashlights. He offered one to you and you took it with a smile. “I’m glad one of us was prepared to go into a cave.”

“It was a last-minute purchase.” He admitted with a shrug. The cavern opening, now that you saw it, was not inviting. You never would have found it without your vision. It was less like a cave mouth and more like a fissure. You’d have to stand sideways and scoot inside which was incredibly unappealing. You had to do it though, you reminded yourself.

So, against every instinct in your body, you pressed yourself between the stone walls and scooted. It was uncomfortably tight and you’d had to adjust several times to make it through. If you’d told yourself months ago that you would be doing this then you would have never believed yourself. Liu was right behind you and you helped each other through difficult spaces. Finally, the fissure opened up and you gasped at what lay beyond the tight opening. The air was so humid it was difficult to breathe and there were pools of water glimmering with bioluminescent light. Usually, you would have thought it was beautiful but there was something inherently sinister about it.

The air was foreboding. Liu joined you at your side as you studied the cave that went back into the darkness far beyond your tiny flashlights.

“It’s like the exact opposite of the springs back in the temple.”

“Something dark has corrupted it.” He frowned then walked right into the water like it was nothing. At its deepest point it was up to his thighs.

“You just jump right into that probably cursed water, huh?”

“Yes, and you should join me. I have a feeling that it’s going to be quite a walk and the only way through is in the water.”

“You’re probably right. Is this the opposite of holy water, you think?” You joined him and he offered a shake of his head at your bad joke. You trudged together through the water, following the only path there was to take. You lit your way with the tiny flashlights but even combined it didn’t do much for you. The bioluminescent plant life growing in the pools helped you at least find your path and you were sure if you needed to then Liu would use his fire. It was eerie. In the distance, there was the sound of falling water and it grew ever louder as you approached.

You finally pinpointed what the bad feeling was. It was like you weren’t supposed to be there, and the cave wanted you out. You knew that this was where you were meant to be and whatever wanted you out was that artifact.

“Careful.” You gestured to another fissure in front of you but this one was half full of water. It went on longer than the first one had, and you’d briefly panicked halfway through. Liu had helped you and then you had helped him when he’d gotten stuck at the end. It didn’t get any better after that. The next fissure was lower, and the water was up to his shoulders which meant you had to swim and squeeze your way through.

“Just hold your breath.” He encouraged and you looked to him skeptically but did your best. The water got down your throat a few times as it splashed around your face, but you managed your way through it. Liu continued right behind you, and it was made much more difficult when the path shrunk at the end. He’d nearly gotten stuck. That would have been a disaster. That cavern was low, and the water was so high you had to swim. The sound of water falling was no longer distant but very close. You searched the small corridor with your flashlight, but it was flickering after being submerged in the water. “Where do we go?” He searched above the water but there was barely any space above you.

“You’re going to hate it.” You pointed with an unhappy groan at the cavern beneath the water, completely submerged. This was a nightmare.

“You’re right, I do.” He shook out his wet hair. You ducked beneath the water, allowed your eyes to adjust to the warmth of it and cringed. It was uncomfortable. The springs in your vision had been small and modest. It was like they’d spread like cancer throughout the cavern thanks to that man and whatever artifact he’d hidden there. Then you came back up and turned to him. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck, Y/N.”

You ducked beneath the water again, held your breath, and then made your way through the tunnel as quickly and carefully as your body would allow. Just as you thought your lungs would give out, you found a space at the very top of the tunnel that was above the water. It was barely enough for you to tilt your head up and regain your breath but it was more than you needed.

Then you ducked under again and were grateful when the cave opened up and you could bring your head above water into a much, much larger space. The water was way deeper there too and you gasped greedily for breath. Then you turned and waited for Liu Kang to follow you. Seconds later, he popped up next to you, also gasping for breath.

The cavern was huge and you found the source of the rushing water. It poured from an opening above that led to the mountain outside. You caught a glimpse of a tree beyond, but just barely. Water poured from a river from the precipice and down onto two other ledges in between before ultimately falling into the pool that you and Liu had emerged in. There was dry land on either side of the deep pool and you were looking forward to it. Never again if you could avoid it.

Liu reached for your hair to push it back and looked disappointed to find that the flower had gone. You searched the water for it and sighed. You’d forgotten it was there. “Sorry.” You pouted and he smiled anyway. The air in the chamber was heavy and you were set on edge, like something terrible could happen at any moment. Liu was moving toward the shallower water and talking but you couldn’t hear him. There was a high-pitched squeal in your ears.

Liu called to you, but his voice was distant and fading. You couldn’t quite remember why he would be with you or where you were or what you were doing. You turned in search of him, but he was gone.

You were alone and made your way to the shallower water, crawling out just enough so it was up to your thighs. When you turned back, there was a man standing before you. It was him. The creature from your vision and you saw him plain as day. His skin was gray and mysterious patterns shifted beneath the surface, his white eyes surrounded by red flesh, as if he had never slept a day in his life. He wore a hat that fit to the form of his head and curved up into horns. When you blinked, he was standing uncomfortably close in front of you, and you stumbled back. He sneered and the flesh melted from his face, revealing the fanged skull beneath it.

“Who are…” You tried to ask but you choked on your words as his hand plunged into your chest, tearing at your flesh like it was nothing. Pain radiated through your shoulders, down your stomach, and you were blinded by it. You would have collapsed if he had not been holding you in his death grip. His cold fingers wrapped around your heart and you saw your blood ooze down his arm and drench your shirt.

He was killing you.

You were dying.

When you looked back up at him, he was gone but the pain remained. You collapsed into the water, the ground disappearing from beneath your feet as though you had never step foot upon it. You couldn’t breathe.

But you could hear again. The ringing had stopped, and you could hear combat above the water. Through it, you could see the light of Liu’s arcana as he fought off many creatures you couldn’t make out from there. He was trying to get to you but the shapes were overwhelming him. You watched, as if in slow motion, as one of those shapes burned up. Then he was thrown back into the water with a splash and the fire was doused with a hiss of steam.

You panic-swam to the surface. Liu was being held beneath the water by skeletal creatures in tattered robes and tarnished jewelry. They were pulling him further into the deep pool. You grasped at your chest suddenly and discovered there was no wound. It had been an illusion or a vision or something.

There was no time. You had to get to Liu.

You bashed the creature aside that had been pushing him under but there were others pulling him further and further. Taking a deep breath, you dove into the water and willed your ink into your jian. You hadn’t been certain it would work under the water but were pleased to find that it was solid. You slashed one of the creatures to pieces and swam out of the way of another. Then you knocked the one holding Liu away.

He was struggling to keep his breath, hand grasped over his mouth. You pushed his hand aside and pressed your lips to his, offering him the little breath you had left. Then you urged your arm under his and helped kick to the surface. You both gasped for breath, and he coughed up water. You urged him back behind you, defending you both with the jian so he had a chance to regain himself and get to dry land.

The moment he had his footing, he grasped at the natural energy around him and bathed his fists in fire. He twisted and threw the flames and several of the skeletal creatures stumbling toward you burned up. But they didn’t stay down for long. Either they rebuilt themselves or there were tons of them. You twisted with your jian, ducking, and slicing at them as they drew closer, finishing them off when Liu’s fire didn’t.

“This isn’t working!” He coughed as more of them crawled out of the water toward you.

“There’s too many.” You backed up to join him on the small shoreline. If these things kept crawling back to life, then you would be at this until you were exhausted and one of you slipped up. You had to do something drastic. You’d mimicked Kung Lao in Japan but you hadn’t been sure how you’d done it. Could you mimic other things? “You thought that my arcana could mimic things, right?”

“Yeah, you mimicked my hand when you first showed me. Haven’t had much time to train, have we?”

“Could you keep me safe while I try something?”

“Of course.” Liu stepped in front of you and, fists still engulfed in flame, and went after the creatures as they came close. Watching him fight was amazing. It was almost like a dance. Stepping back to offer him more space to fight, you worked with your ink magic. You’d been able to draw with it when you’d been fighting against the tar creature in Japan so why not try that?

Bracing yourself for the energy it would take, you focused on the creatures as they fell beneath Liu’s skilled hands. He stepped back from them and bounced in ready position, extinguishing his fire. You focused only on the space and your ink, your will to make it. Your mind cleared of all other thoughts. Liu stepped back in surprise as you drew solid walls around the creatures, and they filled with ink. Then you slammed your hands together and the walls crushed the creatures trapped within. You felt the crash of those walls rattle through your arms and into your shoulders.

“Damn.” Liu turned to you with admiration. You relaxed your posture but didn’t get to do so for long. Water exploded in a fountain and rained down over you. A huge creature made of bones and skulls rose from the water. It hissed and creaked awkwardly. Its many arms wielded old, rusted weaponry. You summoned your jian back into your hand and stepped up next to Liu who turned back into his stance, hands bathed in fire again.

You waited for the creature to strike. It raised its arms and swung down toward you. You leapt away from the blows. Liu ducked under another and set the arm ablaze and then kicked another back. You leapt over the one he’d kicked and sliced it at the arm and then cut another that was grasping for Liu. You ducked low, rolled back and then knocked the weapon out of another’s grasp. You were always aware of where Liu Kang was. It was unlike any other fight you’d ever been in. It was almost like you’d choreographed it before you’d started. You were so in tune with each other’s energy that you could sense what he was about to do before he did it. You stepped back to allow Liu to keep the creature at bay and with the jian as a pen, you created a heavy chain with ink that attached to the shore. It dripped and then crystallized into form, wrapping around the creature.

Liu rolled over the chain and then knocked the creature back as it pulled, trying to free itself with wild thrashing. Liu flipped backwards and threw fire at the creature that then swatted at him, howling in agony. You leapt atop the chain and ran closer to the creature. You flipped atop the mass that held its many arms. It swung at you wildly and you leapt to the other side of its many heads. With a flourish you drew another chain to wrap around the creature but before you could finish, you were grabbed and thrown back toward the shore.

Liu leapt and caught you, and then gracefully set you down. You bounced to your feet, and you finished the chain and then spun low to the ground, smacking your hand against the stone so that it locked next to the first one. The monster couldn’t move far now but you had to finish it off before you ran out of steam, or it found a way to escape.

Liu nodded toward the creature that thrashed at the chains. They groaned beneath the force. It wouldn’t be held much longer. You threw your jian and it faded into ink and then you mimicked the water, and a wave of ink coated the creature. Ink was flammable. It would smell horrible, but you hoped it would work. “Now, Liu!”

He stepped back, braced his footing and his hand was engulfed in flame, so much so that his flesh seemed to glow orange and crack with bright light. Ducking low, he swung upward and from the water behind the creature, a massive dragon made of fire and lava rose high above it. With a low crouch and a spin of his arms, he slammed his hand to the ground and the dragon opened its great maw and attacked the creature. The ink caught fire just as you had hoped and the creature howled, consumed by flame. Then it stopped thrashing and began to fall toward you with the last bit of its strength.

The shore wasn’t wide enough for you to stay on it, so you grabbed Liu’s arm and you ran from the creature that swept toward you, ablaze, and leapt into the water together. The creature fell after you, its bones scorching and disintegrating as it did. You dove deep beneath the water but as you made your way to the opposite shore, it grabbed your ankle and pulled. You choked and your breath escaped, and you got a mouthful of water and had to resist the urge to breathe and swallow. You fought against the creature’s fading grasp but your lungs were aching so badly that you could do little but kick and flail upward and hope it got you there.

But then Liu’s arm was around you and he pulled you free of its grasp and dragged you above the water. You choked and spat out water, but your lungs were in agony. He pushed your hair back and held you above the water. “Breathe! Breathe, Y/N!”

“Trying.” You croaked and water sputtered past your lips. It was burning at your throat and your lungs, but he had gotten to you before it had gotten worse. You dragged each other to the opposite shore and then Liu urged you to lay back so you could focus on breathing. Then he collapsed on his back next to you to do the same.

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xpeachesncream · 3 years

Text

acquainted | thirteen

> series masterlist | series playlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.0k

warnings: cussing/mature language, lots of crying, overthinking, insecurities, questioning feelings/thoughts, your bestfriends are your ride or dies!

notes: happy valentine’s day my loves! 💗

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead@bluesharksandfish@photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1 @thebeebi @brightcolorsoffendme (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

Class comes by quick and you're dreading it. You're dreading it so much you consider skipping out. But, you don't; Simply because you don't want to show that this has defeated you. That Jin has gotten to the best of you. Although right now, you'd probably slap that shit out of him.

You stray clear from any spots you think Jin would find you at, parking at a completely different lot on the opposite end of campus. Jin also isn't in the best of moods, being that his parents came down for an unexpected visit just to give him an earful while getting ready to head to the office to prepare for another business review coming up. Not to add that Grace's mom texted him a very long, unfriendly message last night. He expected it, but he just didn't wanna deal. He sounded like a broken record telling everyone they just didn't work anymore, and that he wasn't going to force himself into something he didn't see himself in.

Yes, he's sorry for the way that he acted. Yes, he fucked up for not doing this the right way. Yes, he fucking gets it. Leave me the hell alone.

After all, all he wanted was you. And it killed him that you hadn't returned his calls, or answered his texts. He just wanted to hear if you were okay. He just wanted to see you and reassure you. Apologize for not owning up to your relationship, because it does matter to him. It's the one thing that truly does.

You walk into campus once your friends have texted that they've arrived. The four of you make your way into the classroom, your head hung low. The rest of the three greeted Jin just for common courtesy, but he knew he wasn't going to hear anything from you. He looked at you, noticed how tired and sad you had looked and his heart instantly broke. He wanted to hug you right then and there, kiss you. Let you know you two would be okay. If that was still something you even wanted.

Jin does his best to get through class, but he's not sure if he could do this anymore if this is how things were going to be. You barely looked at him. You didn't send any of those cute, small smiles his way. You didn't giggle. You didn't do anything besides stare at the paper beneath your hands and write.

When class ends, he waits to see if you'd say anything. You don't, even though you're still one of the last to leave. He watches as you hold onto your books tightly, Ryujin waiting for you to catch up at the door. It's not like you hated him or anything - you could never see yourself hating Seokjin. You could almost say you loved him, you had fallen in love with him. And that's what sucks the most because now what? What do you do with those feelings right now? After everything? God, you wanted him. But there were so many questions racing through your mind, the most important being if you were worth sticking around for. If he would actually be in this with you and stick around.

You and your friends head over to the library to get some work done, but you excuse yourself to buy a cup of hot chocolate and a snack at the campus coffee shop a bit of a walk away. There was a line, surprisingly, but it wasn't too bad and you ultimately decided this was worth waiting in line for. Once you had ordered and gotten your food, you stepped outside to take a sip & enjoy how good it felt to have hot cocoa on a cold evening. You begin to slowly walk back, the walk being a little dark and lonely being most students had already left campus for today.

"Y/N." You hear behind you. You know that voice all too well. You turn behind you to see Jin trying to catch up with you.

"Not doing this here." You say as you try to walk away, but he gently grabs your wrist and turns you around. It hadn't been long but you missed looking at his face this way. You missed his touch. You missed him.

"Can we please just talk for a minute?" He asks softly, letting you go before anyone sees.

"We don't have anything to talk about right now."

"Yes, we do." You shook your head.

"I don't wanna do this right now. Please, I just need some time."

"Y/N, I care about you a lot, you know that right?" You feel your tears welling up because you wanted so badly to just throw yourself on this man right now, and hug him tightly and tell him you love him. But, you just needed your space. You needed to give him space.

"Not now." Is all you say. "Look, we can talk when the time is right. Just not now."

"When is that going to be? I miss you." He says almost at a whisper. "You know it's you."

"Jin—" You say, shaking your head and placing a hand out in front of you before stepping backwards.

"Hey, did you grab what you needed? We have to go." You hear Taehyung say as he grabs your arm. You knew he was just pulling you out of the situation with a lie and honestly, you couldn't thank him enough because you weren't sure how else you could handle Jin right now. Not without breaking down.

"Yeah." Jin stares at both you and Taehyung. "I'm good."

"Cool." Taehyung swings his arm over your shoulder before turning on his heel to walk away with you. "Night Mr. Kim." He throws up the peace sign as he leads you back to the library.

"Thank you." You say, leaning into his body.

"No problem." Taehyung gently caresses your arm as you both walk back to the library. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just not ready to talk to him yet."

"Maybe you should at least hear what he has to say."

"I don't know, Tae." He shrugged.

"Look, things are kind of messy right now, but I have to say, he looks like he's still focused on you throughout this mess. I think that should at least mean something."

"I guess." Is all you can say. Taehyung doesn't say anything else as you approach Jimin and Ryujin. You and your friends stay until the library closes, getting a lot of work done together.

"You sure you don't need any of us to stay with you tonight?" Jimin asks before you all split ways to get to your cars.

"I'll be fine."

He nods silently. "Let us know if you need anything." Ryujin and Taehyung nod reassuringly behind him.

The ride home is quiet, besides the random downpour of rain that begins to fall as you near your apartment building. The rain was soothing to you, and all you wanted was to be in bed, listening to the rain pound against your window. As you start tidying up your apartment and getting ready for bed, your phone starts to vibrate on the bathroom counter.

Seokjin.

After tonight, you're still not sure why he's calling, but you're afraid something might have happened to him in this rain since the call ends, but another one comes through right after.

"Jin."

"Let me come see you. Hear me out, please." His voice slightly cracks. It sounds like he had been crying, or at the very least, trying really hard to keep his emotions in check. You feel terrible, and the last thing you want is for him to do anything irrational in this weather.

"Okay." Is all you say.

"I'll come pick you up in 20 minutes?"

"Sure." And the call ends. You're nervous and you feel your heart beating pretty quickly. You're not sure what to expect, or what to even say at this point. Is it even valid for you to feel upset for what happened? You weren't in Grace's shoes, nor did you end up getting the short end of the stick [besides the fact that Jin wasn't up front about your relationship]. You didn't really have a reason to be this way. However, you weren't sure where to go from here. You loved him, but how could you both just continue on like shit never went down? Like things are all fine and dandy when there's people angry and hurt? It seems like that would be fueling the fire even more. You both may never be able to rest. But part of you really wanted to keep being selfish, and you had no idea what exactly it was about this man that was making you like this. But, you wanted him in every way and it was frustrating. You just wanna tell people to leave you both the fuck alone and let it be.

He wants me, and I want him. So be it. I'm sorry.

You lazily throw on some clothes, hopping into matching grey sweats, grey hoodie and an added layer of a bomber jacket to go over it. He gets there a little earlier than the estimated 20 minutes in a hoodie, jacket and ripped jeans, his hair slightly dampened from the rain, making strands fall messily above his forehead.

God, this is unfair. Jin's duality is fucking crazy.

He simply looks at you before extending out his hand, asking for permission to hold yours before he drives off. You gently intertwine your fingers with his, his cold hands gripping tightly as he caresses the top of your hand with his thumb. The ride is quiet, and you find yourself overlooking the skyview of SF once again. He parks his car in the same spot he parked when he had asked you to come to LA with him, but he sits in his seat looking out quietly.

"What's on your mind?" You softly ask, breaking the silence.

"I miss you." He pauses while he tilts his head to look at you. "It hasn't even been long, but I miss you and I just want to be with you, Y/N."

"Do you really think this is a good idea? Us?" You turn in your position to fully face him. "Look at all the people that are hurt and angry at us. How can we just let it be?"

"I don't care. I really and truly do not care."

"Seokjin." You shake your head. "Don't say that."

"I don't. What else do you want me to say?" He shrugs. "The only person that matters to me is you."

"Your parents—"

"It's my life, they can't do anything about it." He sighs. "Y/N, what's going on?"

"I'm just scared. I— I know it's a little late for this but I'm scared. I don't wanna hurt anyone else, I don't wanna make anyone else upset." The tears began to pool against your bottom lid. "Jungkook—" He sharply turns to look at you once more. "Jungkook came to my house the other day and I felt terrible."

"He's not talking to me."

"See." You begin to cry. "I don't wanna ruin your relationship with him any further. He's your brother."

"He'll be fine."

"And how do you know that? How do you know things will be okay between the both of you? You had such a strong relationship with him. I shouldn't be getting in between."

"Stop." He says, gently wiping your tears from his seat. "He'll need some time but I know we'll be okay. Y/N, please just listen to me. I don't—" He sighs again before he looks down at his jeans. His head continues to hang low as he begins to speak softly, his voice slightly cracking. "I don't want you to throw us away because of everything that happened. That's the one thing I've been terrified about."

"Are you genuinely terrified of losing me, or of being alone?"

"What? How could you ask me that? Of course I'm terrified of losing you." Silence. "I love you, Y/N. I don't think you understand how deep my feelings run for you." You almost gasp at the statement, but you simply look at him. You only questioned how he felt because you were certain you had fallen in love with him. You were certain that you had gone past those boundaries and that you loved Seokjin. But you weren't sure if that was the case for him. He had never said it until this moment, even though he had beat around the bush, telling you how much you meant to him and how much he wanted to be with you. But he had never said he loved you until now. You were beginning to think you were just the excuse - the excuse to get out of a failed engagement. He lifts his head once again, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Please don't tell me I'm the only one who feels this way." You begin to cry a little more, seeing the look on his face when he says what he says.

"I think we should sleep this off." Is what you respond with, even though it's not what you actually want to say. You want to tell him yes, you love him too. Yes, you want to be with him. Yes, fuck everyone else.

But it's not that easy, for whatever reason.

He doesn't object though, he doesn't try and argue. He doesn't try to act all crazy and make you feel a certain way or say a certain thing. He just nods, even though he can't really look at you.

"Just know that I've meant everything that I've said up until this point. I love you so much, Y/N. It's insane how quickly I've fallen for you and what you do to me. I wouldn't want it any other way, and I don't want it if it's not with you." You look out the window, pursing your lips into a fine line to prevent yourself from loudly breaking down next to him. The tears won't stop coming down but you don't want to let him hear you. At this point, he doesn't say anything else as he starts up his car and begins to drive back to your place. His hand is resting on your thigh, gently caressing it up and down as if he knows you were silently crying in your seat. You couldn't get past the events that have transpired the past couple of days, and you just needed a breather.

Some time to be away, some time to be in peace. Some time to sit on your thoughts. Some time to just be.

You can't help but think about what things would be like if you and Jin continued on. You couldn't help it, that's just who you were. You'd imagine his parents looking down on you for messing with both of the siblings to a certain a extent. Jungkook ultimately just hating you for life. Jin's friends probably also questioning you.

The real question was whether or not your feelings for Jin would overcome that fear, that uncertainty, that anxiety. Even though you knew where you stood with him - was this really something you could get over? Was this something you could live on with? Knowing how you and Seokjin had come to be, hurting people along the way just to be selfish and be together.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when Jin stops his car in front of your building, leaning over to turn his hazard lights on. The rain is pounding incredibly hard right at this moment, and you're torn between going back upstairs or going back home with Jin.

It's fucking annoying. Your thoughts.

"Come here." He says, gently tugging on your jacket. You turn to face him, the tears still streaming down your cheeks. He clicks his teeth as he wipes your tears away, hating the fact that he's seeing you hurt right now. He couldn't stand it. "You know I'm always gonna be here right? Whenever you're ready." You nod. He leans in to kiss you on the lips, his hand resting behind your head and fingers tangled in your hair. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours, keep his eyes locked on you before completely pulling back to let you go.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" You say, almost at a whisper. He simply nods, watching you grab the door handle and dash into your building. You run upstairs and into your apartment, only to crash against the wall and cry out every emotion you were feeling.

"Y/N?" Jimin calls out softly, popping into your apartment after you had called him to come over. His jacket is soaking wet, and you feel terrible that he probably had to park a bit further from your building due to no guest spots being available at this time of night. He instantly drops his bag to the ground when he finds you curled up on the couch and wraps his arms around you. "What happened?"

"I don't know why this is so fucking difficult for me." You mumble into his chest. Honestly, Jimin knew the answer already. It was obvious that your feelings had gotten deeper than you had expected, you didn't have to tell Jimin that.

What was difficult was the fact that you hadn't been looking for love, nor were you trying to fall in love after Chance had passed. He knew the moment you did find something other than Chance, that's when things would get difficult. You had been longing for someone to touch you, to feel you, to want you, to care and love you, to bring about those feelings Chance once had brought. Seokjin might have been the closest thing to it and you didn't wanna let that go, not after you unexpectedly lost it the first time. No matter how much you tried to fight it off.

"Y/N." He says softly. "I think you fighting this off is just making it worse. You need to start being honest with yourself, no matter what that looks like."

"It's wrong, isn't it?" He shrugs.

"I mean, regardless of how it came about, I think what matters is how you feel about him and what he's starting to mean to you. Especially after all the shit you've been through with Chance's passing." He responds forwardly. "If you love him, then you do. There's really no hiding from it anymore. You both are here now."

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theloneliestshipper · 3 years

Text

I don't always do collaborations but when I do it's an utterly self-indulgent crossover of two Star Wars properties that have absolutely no reason to overlap and a potential audience of about five people. Also I do it with @nyelung.

AO3 Link

And never kick the ball! Rated T

“... Hutts don’t have feet!” The final words of Baroness Deathmark echo through the arena. Having heard the introduction a few dozen times or more in the last year alone, Boba could say it with her if he were in the mood. He’s not.

They’ve changed the arena up for the season. There’s only so many ways that the Nar Shaddaa Huttball arena can be changed but apparently they went all out this time and rearranged a significant portion of the walkways and traps. He can make out something that looks suspiciously like a series of trapdoors surrounding the mag-ball’s centre spot, undoubtedly hiding some nasty surprises. Well, since Fennec managed to draw Djarin in as the team captain he’s not too worried that one of their team will find out what’s beneath those trapdoors the hard way.

Two minutes into the game Boba is scowling inside his helmet - not an unusual occurrence if the Quesh Rotworms were to be asked. He came aboard as a coach last year, when there were children’s teams on Tatooine who could play better so they had seen it a lot.

“It’s nice that for once it’s not our players getting maimed,” Fennec comments. “It was getting hard to find new ones.

Huttball is one of the most brutal semi-legal sports in the galaxy and even though all players are fully armoured - part of the reason why the sport is so popular in the Mandalorian sector - and killing during the game has been forbidden since the Cold War, injuries or even crippledom aren’t uncommon because the players are also armed to the teeth. That’s what the Frogdog wearing the number seven just found out the hard way when Djarin and Aelto perfectly executed a manoeuvre to take the ball from him.

Baroness Deathmark on the other hand should avoid dark alleys tonight since the ban on killing did not apply to the way she verbally tore Frogdog Seven apart with her remarks. The handsigns he throws in the direction of the commentator box are basically a promise to hunt her down and kill her slowly and painfully. At least that’s what they mean in Mandalorian space and that’s what has Boba scowling. Why promise the commentator utterly brutal torture when it was Djarin and Aelto who maimed him?

It’s not his problem, Boba reminds himself and concentrates on giving Djarin reports on the Frogdog team’s movements. If Baroness Deathmark earns another deathmark to her name, it’s nothing he has to worry about.

In the end, Boba doesn’t have to feel too bad about the Rotworm’s performance even though they took quite the beating and lost by two points against the Frogdogs. Baroness Deathmark’s final comment is just as cutting as the spikes Tika fell on in the second half. They’re still stitching all the muscles and tendons back together in the med-area but Tika will probably never play again.

Still, just one player permanently out of commission and eight points scored versus ten lost is much better than the Rotworms have managed in decades. Overall Boba is quite content. “Do you think they serve Spotchka here?”

Fennec raises one brow. “Do you mean: Do they serve affordable Spotchka here that’s not actually engine grease? No idea, let’s find out.”

___

The commentator booth is quiet now. Leia takes a second to let her head fall back and to roll the stiffness out of her neck. When she turns her chair around, the event producer Lando Calrissian is standing in the doorway, his headset still on. “Nice work today,” he says, covering the mic with his hand. “You really live up to your name.”

“Let them try it,” Leia scoffs as she picks up her satchel and jacket. “If I had a credit for every huttballer who threatened to kill me I could retire yesterday. And anyway, I didn’t say anything that wasn’t blatantly obvious to every being in the stands.”

“Still, I’d watch your back while you’re on Nar Shaddaa. And listen, my buddy Han is in town this weekend. Why don’t you let me set you up?”

“I’m busy next weekend.”

“Sure you are. Where are you going now? Home to your tooka and the latest episode of Sith Mansions?”

“For your information I’m going to a cantina. To meet someone.”

The fact that she doesn’t yet know who she’s going to meet doesn’t seem important. She might be a farm girl from Anchorhead, but she’s never had any trouble getting someone to pay for her drinks. Maybe she’ll get really lucky and it’ll even be someone who isn’t a spicer, slicer, smuggler or assassin. That would be a nice change of pace.

The Slippery Slope cantina is crowded with fans. Some of the Frogdog and Rotworm players are there for their contract-mandated mingling. As usual the Mandalorian players keep their distinctive helmets on for the personal holos their fans will want and to protect their privacy.

She passes by a knot of fans in Frogdog colors, several different languages conversing in varying tones of outrage. She hears “the Baroness” and smiles to herself as she finds a seat at the bar. She doesn’t need a helmet to keep people from recognizing her face. It’s her voice they know...and sometimes despise.

There’s a man two seats down wearing Mandalorian armor, but it’s not painted with team colors. He’s a fan, maybe. His helmet is resting out of sight beneath the bar while he nurses a glass of Spotchka. Spotchka sounds pretty good, actually.

He glances in her direction, but there’s no shift in body language, no smile. Shame. He’s a good-looking man and probably has a very nice smile. Leia signals the bartender and nods in his direction. “I’ll have whatever he’s having.”

That catches his attention, if briefly. He lifts his glass in a silent salute, one eyebrow slightly raised. Still no offer. Maybe he’s partnered. She lets her eyes drift down over his armor, applying what she’s learned from interviews with the Mandalorian huttball players. It looks like beskar to her.

The bartender delivers her Spotchka and her attention strays from the Mandalorian to any other likely candidates at the bar. Everyone is talking about the match.

“She’s dead,” a heated voice rises behind her, but not addressed to her. “Who does she think she is? That play was bullshit. You know it, I know it. There was nothing he could have done.”

Leia doesn’t have to turn around to know that the person speaking is wearing Frogdog yellow. They can whine about it all they want, but their player had at least two opportunities to pass before the Rotworms took him out.

Some players want all the glory. That’s not her fault.

“She had no right to tear into him like that. No wonder everyone hates her.”

“It’s her fucking job.” The unexpected defense comes from the Mandalorian sitting two seats down. He’s turned his chair to face the yellow-clad group, and there’s an unmistakable challenge in his low tone. “If your player did his, you wouldn’t have lost him two minutes in.”

The man who was speaking turned a startling shade of purple. Almost Rotworm purple. “Who asked you?”

“It’s a public place. If you want to have a private conversation I suggest you go home.” It’s not a suggestion. The Mandalorian makes that clear by standing up.

“You can go to hell! You and that fucking bitch-”

“Did someone say my name?” Suddenly there’s a woman standing between them, and Leia recognizes her instantly. Fennec Shand. Her iconic steely gaze is now fixed on the outraged fan. “You want to go home.”

In spite of the clamor around them there’s a silence and stillness that makes the threat implicit. The fan bares his teeth in a snarl before turning to go. Some of his friends leave with him and the rest drift away.

Fennec’s head tips toward the bartender. “Her drink is on me.” She winks at Leia before walking away. Maybe she’s more recognizable than she thought.

“Well. That was exciting,” she says, more to herself, but the Mandalorian nods as he reclaims his seat.

“You know Fennec?”

“Just by reputation.” She takes a quick sip of her paid-for drink. “That’s definitely the first time a huttball coach has bought me a drink.”

“Your lucky night.” The corner of his mouth curves up just enough to make Leia feel validated. A very nice smile indeed.

“And she’s a legend, obviously. It’s a shame she’s stuck holding up the Rotworms by herself.”

His smile hardens, just a little. “Is it?”

“There’s gotta be a dozen better teams who would be delighted to have her. And the Rotworms might be better than they were a year ago, but their offense is still half-awake at best and I heard her defense coach only got the job because his daddy rules Mandalore.”

“You believe everything you hear?”

“No, but I kind of have to keep my ear to the ground. Like you said, it’s my fucking job.”

“You’re Baroness Deathmark.” He says it with disbelief. “That’s why-” He directs a look of annoyance at the place where Fennec Shand vanished into the crowd.

“My friends call me ‘Leia.’” She leans forward, resting her chin on her hand. “I don’t think I got your name.”

For a moment the Mandalorian hesitates. Then there’s a shift in his posture, a slight relaxing of his shoulders and Leia’s willing to bet that that twitch in his face could become an actual playful smile. “Why don’t you tell me? Since it’s your job to know everything.”

It’s a challenge that makes her sit up. He’s someone connected, then. A promoter or a staff member. That explains how he knows Fennec. “Okay,” she says, intrigued. This could be fun. “Where did you grow up?”

“Kamino. What about you?”

She’s never heard of it. No help there. “Tatooine. My local team was the Anchorhead Womp Rats.”

“Did you play?”

“I’m supposed to be the one asking the questions,” she reminds him. “Did you play?”

“Yes. For the Skullhunters of Mandalore.”

“Fenn Shysa’s team?”

His head tilts to one side. “How do you know Fenn?”

“Everyone knows Fenn. Are you single?”

“You think that will help you figure it out?”

She raises her eyebrows. “Maybe I just want to know.”

“Yes. I’m single. You?”

“Yes.” She pauses to take a sip of Spotchka. “I wanted to play, but Uncle Owen wouldn’t let me. Too violent. I tried telling him that it wasn’t like the old days where entire teams could be massacred in a match, but for some reason he didn’t find that convincing.”

He nods in agreement. “It used to be a rite of passage in Mando culture. Now it’s just sports.”

“You don’t sound too enthusiastic for someone hanging out with Fennec Shand.” For a short moment Leia entertains the question whether he resents the no-killing-part or Huttball itself.

He shrugs. “There’s better sports.”

She hates to admit it, but she’s stumped. He knows the game but doesn’t particularly seem to like it. He can handle himself in a confrontation but it’s not as if the legendary Fennec Shand needs a bodyguard. Is it possible that someone actually hired a Mandalorian to take out Baroness Deathmark? But no, his surprise about her identity had been genuine. “Okay, final question. Why are you here?”

“Don’t quote me on this… nah, forget it.”

Oh, so it’s a story. “Come on. Entertain a lady.”

It’s clear that he’s tempted, calculating loss of face versus the chance to win her over for wherever this flirtation is going. Leia’s got a few suggestions already lined up in her mind. With an inaudible sigh he comes to a decision. “Dad kept nagging me to make connections beyond bounty hunting and Huttball is a lucrative enough business. It could be worse.”

Now there’s a hint. “So your father is…?”

“Some might say he rules Mandalore.” He gives her a quick smirk before finishing off his drink.

It all adds up quickly in her head, his history as a player on Mandalore, his knowledge of the game and his connection to Fennec Shand. She sets her glass down hastily in case she needs to make a very quick exit.

“You asked for my name,” he says, drawing it out with the ruthlessness of a professional Huttball defensive coach. “It’s Boba Fett. And for the record, that’s not how I got the job.”

As he speaks he stands and removes his helmet from the shelf under the bar and Leia recognizes it immediately. For one thing, it has the Rotworm logo painted on the side. She couldn’t say a word now even if she tried, but when Boba Fett turns to face her, it’s with a smile.

“I’m sure you have more opinions on what my team did wrong. Maybe you’d like to tell them to me over dinner.”

“I do,” she manages. “Especially about your team’s inability to follow through.” Feeling a little bit daring, Leia leans in to make her intentions perfectly clear. “What about dinner at my place?”

#boba fett/princess leia #rebelbounty #star wars: the old republic #swtor #star wars fanfiction #the Huttball AU no one saw coming #with good reason #my fic

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idreamofplaid · 3 years

Text

A Merry Little Christmas

Summary: Christmas can be, above all, a season of hope. Dean reminds the reader of that.

Characters: Dean x Reader; Marla & Ted (OCs)

Word Count: 2821

Warnings: Oral (female receiving)

A/N: This is for @firefly-in-darkness written as part of @negans-lucille-tblr ‘s fic exchange. I hope you like it. It’s inspired by the song “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”.

The bar was empty with the exception of some of the hardcore regulars. It was the week before Christmas, and that changed the clientele somewhat, but not entirely. Some of the fortunate had places to be, loved ones to draw near, and celebrations to bring to life the joyful intent of the season. For others, it was the same routine, December 25th was just another day on the calendar.

Marla Henderson had her usual seat at the end of the bar wearing something tight fitting and low cut to see whose eye she might catch. She’d been doing it ever since her husband left in a desperate grab at feeling wanted, desired, and validated again. Watching her always made Y/N feel a hollow, nagging sadness in the pit of her stomach. She could be Marla in a few years, only without the husband.

That thought filled her with melancholy, and the music from the jukebox wasn’t helping. The Carpenters could always make her feel wistful even when the song was about roasting chestnuts and meant to be festive. The garland that was hanging in swags around the room was also having the opposite of the desired effect on her. It looked out of place, like a poor attempt at a pretense of merriment.

Ted Markham was also here tonight, slinging back the whiskeys. The holidays hadn’t changed anything for him, or about him. He was always on the prowl, looking to get lucky, and far too often he was looking to get lucky with her; tonight was no different. “Hey, darlin’, how about another one?”

She poured another shot in his glass and asked a little more cynically than she should with a customer, “Don’t you ever have a limit, Ted?”

He put his hand over hers suggestively. “Not too often, gorgeous.”

She pulled her hand away and put the bottle back on the shelf. He just wasn’t getting the hint tonight. “Y/N, why don’t you come over here and sit on this stool next to me? It’s a slow night. Nobody’s gonna mind.”

He was right about one thing. It was a slow night. Couples seemed to have already paired up for the holidays to bask in the warmth of true love or enjoy a fleeting whatever to help get them through the season. After a string of disappointing boyfriends and too many dashed dreams of holiday romance, Y/N had basically given up. “Sounds tempting, Ted, but I’m gonna pass.”

He wasn’t usually a belligerent drunk, but maybe something in the tone of her voice had set him off. “Now is that any way to talk to your best customer?”

Y/N had been in her share of tight spots thanks to her chosen line of work over the years, but this time she found herself getting really uncomfortable and just wishing she could sink beneath the bar and hide.

She was struggling for a comeback and starting to get flustered when a tall, powerfully built stranger with broad shoulders and the face of a Calvin Klein model confidently strode up to the bar. He made a point of standing in Ted’s space and flashed Y/N an easy smile. She got lost in his deep green eyes for a minute and almost missed what he said. “Sorry I’m late, sweetheart.”

He gave a cursory glance over his shoulder at Ted. That was all he needed to do. This man had an air about him that anyone with an ounce of sense or self preservation would know not to challenge. Ted made a lame excuse about it being late and hastily left.

The unknown, handsome guy took a seat on the barstool Ted had vacated. Marla was already giving him her best sultry look. Y/N recovered from her earlier discomfort. There was something about being in this guy’s presence that made her feel safe. She couldn’t think of anything clever to say so she went with, “Thanks for rescuing me. Can I offer you a drink on the house?”

He smiled again, and she felt her Grinch like shrunken heart start to glow a little bit. “Sure. I’m Dean.” He extended his hand. When she accepted his hand to shake it, it was warm, solid, and strong. Y/N could get used to the feeling of that hand.

Dean stayed until closing time, and after a couple shots of whiskey he had switched to beer. It was a small gesture but one that didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N. He wasn’t interested in getting drunk.

Y/N wasn’t sure why he was alone in a bar tonight. Maybe he didn’t have anywhere to go? Maybe he was alone too? That was hard to believe; look at him. And for the first time since she’d noticed Dean, she did. She really looked at him.

There was a depth in his eyes that it was easy to miss at first, probably because he kept it hidden; he didn’t want anyone to see it. It was a type of softness wrapped up and hidden by the hard glint he’d most likely put in his eyes because sometimes he needed that to survive.

Y/N was fascinated by Dean and spent the rest of her shift getting to know him. Marla gave up after about forty-five minutes and left when Dean hadn’t so much as tossed a look in her direction. Y/N’s questions weren’t too probing, just the getting to know you kind of stuff. “I’ve never seen you around before. What brings you to town?”

Dean took a slow drag from his beer, and the way his full lips circled around the opening of that bottle was more than a little distracting. He gave a mirthless chuckle and sighed. “Business is kind of slow for once. Don’t have much family, just my brother. He’s got a new girlfriend. They’ve been dancing around each other for a couple of years now. Finally took the plunge, and I’d just be the third wheel. So, I hit the open road to see where it’d take me.” He took another drink of his beer and appraised her with his eyes. They stopped their downward movement at her neck, which she also appreciated. “What about you? How’d you end up in this bar?”

This was a story Y/N didn’t tell often. She preferred to keep it pushed back as far as she could get it, covered in dust, on a high shelf where no one ever looked. She wanted to tell him, and poured herself a drink to reinforce her courage. “I needed a new start. Life didn’t turn out at all like I had expected or hoped, and I thought a change in geography might magically fix it.” She put her whiskey glass down on the bar after only taking one sip. “I was wrong.”

Dean didn’t say anything, instead waiting for her to go on when she was ready. “I didn’t have the happiest childhood. For awhile I thought I’d escaped all that. Met a guy. We even had a little house together, but then he cheated on me. End of fairytale.”

Dean leaned forward, resting his forearms on the bar. His voice was quiet, reflective. He looked into her eyes, and she knew he actually saw her. “Bastard. You deserved better.”

Y/N laughed, the way she sometimes did when she didn’t know how to process her feelings. “How do you know? You just met me.”

Dean paused, and there was a heaviness in his words when he answered, “I know how to read people.”

Y/N laughed again. “Do you think you could teach me how to do that? I always pick the wrong guy. Did it three more times after him.” She downed the remaining whiskey in her glass.

Wanting to change the subject, Y/N looked around the bar to see if someone needed a refill. She’d been so engrossed in her conversation with Dean that she hadn’t noticed the place had completely emptied out, and it was only 1 am. Christmas. People and their places to go, or worse their utter despair at having nowhere to go. Dean looked around and assessed the situation too. He turned back to her, “Hey, why don’t you close up? I’ll wait and take you home.”

She welcomed his offer; she didn’t want to be alone in this place tonight. The sadness, desperation, and discontent just seemed to hang in the air. Y/N made quick work of wiping down all the tables and securing the stockroom, including the safe. Dean was waiting for her when she reemerged.

He pulled his keys from his pocket; the jingle was loud, but not unpleasant in the empty bar. “My car’s outside.” Y/N nodded. She’d call someone to get a ride to work tomorrow; her car would be okay here. Right now, she just wanted someone to take care of her, even if all that meant was a ride home.

His car matched the man. Rare. Powerful. Something you didn’t see everyday, and completely beautiful. Dean opened the very large and shiny black passenger door for her. He had an unexpected side too. Guys this tough usually didn’t act so gentlemanly.

Her tiny bungalow wasn’t far, and the ride ended too soon for Y/N. Sticking to his chivalrous ways, Dean walked her to the front door. It almost felt like the end of a date, and she found herself wanting to kiss him. Snow started to fall, and she pulled her coat around her more tightly

Y/N tilted her head up and one of the big fluffy flakes landed on her cheek. For a minute, she remembered how giddy the sight of snow had made her when she was a girl. It was still a symbol of beauty and hope for her. She saw the flakes start to collect in Dean’s hair. Without thinking, she reached up and brushed her fingers over his hair, but resisted the urge to run her fingers through it. His eyes caught hers for a minute as the snow fell between them before he leaned down and kissed her with a touch as light as the snow that fell on her face.

She opened her eyes slowly. It was quiet with the kind of peace that only a snowfall can bring. The heat was radiating off his body. It warmed her, and she didn’t want to let that warmth,or him, go. “Do you want to come inside?”

They both knew what that meant. Something had passed between them during that kiss. Dean licked his lips and seemed to be thinking. His eyes lingered on hers for a minute before he answered, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

As soon as they were inside, Y/N took off her coat and hung it up. Then she turned to Dean and started to push his jacket from his shoulders. “Let’s get you out of this.” She hung it on a peg next to her coat. When she turned back to him, he pulled her into a close embrace and kissed her with purpose. It was slow, deep, and doing everything he meant it to do. HIs tongue circled hers, and her arousal grew. If his kiss alone could do this to her, she was in for a memorable night.

Dean’s hands made their way down her back until one stopped on her waist while the other snaked lower down to cup her ass and give it a light squeeze. She was starting to breathe heavier into his mouth. She pulled away from the kiss and took his hand. “Bedroom’s this way.”

The rooms in her house were tiny, too tiny to accommodate big beds. Right now the coziness of her full size bed seemed perfect. Dean immediately began to strip off his layers of shirts. She watched his naked shoulders and back while he bent over to take off his boots. His body was toned and had just the right amount of muscle. Y/N imagined her fingernails digging into his back.

She was dragged from her fantasy back to the glory of reality when Dean started to unbutton the black shirt she wore for bartending duties. Underneath that functional shirt she was wearing the kind of bra that makes a girl feel pretty, and the way Dean was looking at it made her feel more than that. His look told her just how much he desired her.

He took off his jeans before he laid her down on the bed and turned his attention to her lace covered breasts. He laved at her nipples, sucking and kissing them through the fabric. He took one of her taut nubs between his teeth and pulled at it. She moaned beneath him. “Dean, please.”

He slid further down her body, dragging his hands down her sides, kissing all the way down to her pants that were in the way of what she wanted. Dean removed that barrier, taking her panties off at the same time. He parted her thighs and settled between her legs. He made a long swipe with his tongue through her folds, stopping at her clit to lap at before settling his lips around it to suck.

The way he’d kissed her didn’t lie; he knew what to do with his mouth. She was whimpering and pleading with him for more. He pushed at her entrance with one finger, gently exploring. Then he added another and started scissoring them to open her up. She came on his mouth while he stroked her g spot with his fingers.

Her fingers were buried in his hair, and her fists were closed around handfuls of it. Dean whispered against her core, “You’re beautiful, sweetheart.” He kissed her inner thighs while she came down from her orgasm.

When her breath evened out, she sat up; Dean rose up on his knees to face her. She reached behind her to unhook her bra and let it fall. Then she reached for the waistband of Dean’s boxer briefs to push them down and release his erect cock to stand thick against his stomach. He finished taking them off while she fumbled to open her bedside drawer and get a condom. She handed it to him, he sheathed himself, then laid her back down on the bed, kissing her as they went.

He buried his face into her neck and kissed that sensitive spot beneath her ear. She put her arms around him and whispered, “Now, Dean. I’m ready for you.”

He entered her with a smooth, swift motion. She inhaled sharply, and he pushed deeply inside her. She moved her body with his, feeling every drag of his cock over her sweet spot and push of it against her cervix. Just like she’d imagined, she dug her fingers into his back when she came and felt him throb inside her, coming just seconds after she did.

Dean said her name as he let go, and she clenched around him; her orgasm revived by his, by the pleasure she could hear she was giving him. They lay motionless for a sweet moment before Dean moved to take care of the condom. When he returned, easing the covers back and slipping into bed she asked him, “What are you doing?”

He motioned for her to get under the warm blankets with him. She settled in beside him, and he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m holding you.”

The snow was still falling outside, and she watched it fall through the window, not sure what to say. It was Dean who spoke again. “Is that okay? Do you want me to go?”

She let herself relax and lay her hand on his chest. “No, I don’t want you to go. I guess I just thought you would. That’s the way this usually goes.”

Dean kissed the top of her head. “Well, that’s not how it should go. You should be held, kissed some more, and told just how beautiful you are. A man would be crazy not to know how lucky he is to have a woman like you in his arms.”

Y/N got very quiet. She felt tears in her eyes, and for once they weren’t tears of sadness. She closed her eyes and just let herself feel what it was like to be so close to him and to hear a man say these kinds of things to her. She trusted him. She trusted what he was saying, and she trusted that this could be something that lasted beyond tonight. Was this even possible? Could it be possible that there was such a thing as a Christmas miracle? She had believed in them back when snow meant hope to her. Dean tightened his hold around her, making her feel secure, and she felt him kiss her forehead. Yes, they could be real.

Everything: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @onethirstyunicorn @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @ledzeppelinsbonzo @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @tumbler-tidbits @67-chevy-baby @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @heycasbutt @jules-1999 @mrsdeannafuckingwinchester @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @mrs-meghan-winchester @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @becs-bunker @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @lonewolf471 @sea040561 @dawnie1988 @maddiepants @volleyballer519 @outcastedangel @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @daisymoder72 @sorenmarie87 @oldfreakything @winchesterxfamilybusiness @deansotherotherblog

Dean/Jensen: @deansyahtzee @flamencodiva @deanwinchesterswitch @feelmyroarrrr @sammit-janet @focusonspn @akshi8278 @ladywinchester1967 @sgarrett49 @wingedcatninja @coffee-obsessed-writer @adoptdontshoppets @ellewritesfix05

#spnsecretsantaficexchange #dean smut #fluffy dean smut #dean angst #dean fluff #dean oneshot #dean x reader #spn christmas

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starlight-starwrites · 4 years

Text

agent whiskey

character headcanons

note: did a rewatch of kingsman golden circle, so...how could i resist? i really started out with ‘this is fun!’ and then things got real. again, i like to think most of what is here is inspired straight from what we see in the movie, and some go a little beyond bc if we’re honest, those writers did our jack dirty.

- Has a known streak for being an asshole, but he doesn’t usually even realize it.

- He thinks he’s funny (he is, but only sometimes).

- The man loves the high life. Country livin’ is fine by him, but high country living. He was sent to work in New York for a reason.

- He is great at mixing his attitude and his manners. He’s usually always polite, but his impatience will get the better of him. He’ll be the one at the store giving lip to the manager, yet still saying please and thank you the whole time.

- Loves playing the seniority card. He’s good at what he does, no doubt there, but he still thinks he’s tough shit He gives himself more importance than he should. If someone he likes tells him off, he will drop down so many pegs, it is incredible. Will go quiet and embarrassed if scolded.

- Actually has pretty good taste in fashion. He pays attention. It’s a bit of a preening thing, a bit of a wanting to seem valid thing.

- He will giggle at a sex joke if he wasn’t expecting it (if he’s flirting, it’s a different story).

- He is great at hiding his nerves. Will overcompensate with the cockiness sometimes if he feels out of place, and definitely likes his liquid courage when talking to women.

- He feels like he has to have a pick up line. He has to impress. His track record of relationships (or lack thereof) isn’t something he likes to think about. Whether it’s because he’s hung up on his late wife, or they don’t like him beyond a quick lay, or he finds he can’t connect with them, he isn’t always sure. He’ll do it for work, or if he really, really wants to, but beyond that, he finds himself distracted by other things.

- Whiskey is his go-to drink. What came first—his preference or the code name? No one is sure, but he is definitely dedicated it. He may hate drugs, but he’s quick to drown his sorrows in alcohol.

- He can cook. Maybe he's not a gourmet chef, but everything turns out fairly decent, and he's even got a couple of special recipes that turn out incredible. His homemade chili is immaculate.

- He doesn’t have any close friends. When he was younger he had some, he knows what it’s like to have a friend. But when he goes out, sees just a group of guys who mess around, genuinely like each other, he feels like he’s missing something. It almost makes him uncomfortable at the thought of having such a support group.

- Despite his propensity to come off as a bit of an asshole, he pales in comparison to actual assholes. Does not tolerate them. If someone is harassing or being a general nuisance, he wont hesitate to step in if necessary.

- If it’s not necessary, he is shameless and will absolutely stay for the show. He finds the drama amusing, and if it comes to action, all the better.

- The man knows what he’s doing (most of the time). He’s a good agent. A good fighter. When things sometimes go south, something unexpected happens, part of him lives for the thrill of it, hoping for a time to shine. It keeps him on his feet. He’d rather focus on not dying during those times, then focus on trying to live when things are quiet.

- He likes working with other agents, it makes him feel less alone. But he is a stickler about who he works with. He’d, of course, prefer to be in charge, and he doesn’t like incompetence. Shit happens, but if you’re not good at back-up, Whiskey’s got no use for you.

- He trains and practices a lot. A lot, a lot. You can’t get that good with a whip, a lasso, and guns, without honing his skills. He likes to try out new moves too, but he won’t do it in front of people. He’s broken quite a few things in his own home practicing moves, but in the end, it really pays off.

- He’s fiercely protective of the people he cares about. If he loved someone, he would likely save the one at the cost of the world.

- Holds grudges like no other. Will seek revenge whenever the mood strikes him. And he has a knack for it too. Not always confrontational, but if you wrong him, and he feels its personal? He’ll make sure you’re ruined one way or another.

- He doesn’t always want to take the lead, but if there’s ever a pause, someone hesitates to do something, he automatically thinks ‘fine, I’ll do it myself’.

- He lives to be a showoff. He likes to be the center of attention. Its stems from his feeling of not being good enough, of not being able to do things right in the past. He doesn’t care what sort of attention he gathers, and if someone negatively reacts to his skills (with jealousy, criticism, any of the sort) he still counts it as a win. Afterall, why would someone be paying so much attention to him if he isn’t worth it?

- He’s a risk taker. Has been all his life. Some risks didn’t pay out and left him with insecurities he likes to pretend don’t exist. Some do pay off, and it’s the best high he feels.

- He’s gambled before and would again if the opportunity were to present itself. He’s tried to stop, but he knows he’ll go back. When he was young, he liked the idea of a high roller’s table. With his job and how much he makes, he’s closer to getting to that fantasy. He doesn’t talk about it, but his dream mission is at a casino, playing on the Statesman bill, with a finely dressed woman on his arm.

- Yes. His biggest fantasy is to be an American cowboy James Bond. Sorry. No I’m not.

- When he was young, he was seriously in love. It was that first love, the one you think you could never have again, yet somehow is still only a surface love. It felt deep at the time, but if he were to love again, really love, it would be a true love that he doesn’t even believe exists. It’s the knowing someone as much as you know yourself, the sort of support that is unbelievable yet impossible to live without, and being able to share the fears and doubts of past trauma and uncertain futures and be met with trust and loyalty that could only be found in fiction.

- He’s become a serial flirt to hide that desire for true love. He loved his late wife, but they hadn’t had the time, and they’d still been practically kids. He’s afraid to let any relationship go beyond that.

-He is a man of devotion. Devoted to his work, to his principles, to his wife. Sometimes the way he expresses it is extreme, but no one can deny he cares.

- He likes to have nice things. He’s got a nice apartment, filled with any comforts and random assortments that spark joy. If Marie Kondo went through his stuff, there would be very little he’d agree to let go. Everything seems to have a story behind it.

- “Now that hat? Been with me through too much. Couldn’t wear it til I was eighteen, tried to ride my first horse with that one, and I damn near lost it. See these bullet holes? Mission up North went South, and had I moved any slower, I’d’ve been brought back in a pretty wooden box and dropped six feet under.”

- He may try to support the Statesman brand but…his name is Jack Daniels. You can bet he’s got every brand of whiskey in his own personal collection.

- At his place in new York, he always keeps extra stuff ‘for company’. He very rarely ever gets a chance to use it.

- He loves gadgets, tech, the best vehicles. He tries to make sure he can do it all because it makes him feel like Bond, but he sticks to what he knows best. The whip and the lasso make him unique.

- The man is really kinky. He doesn’t let it out unless he is completely comfortable, but…he really is.

- This man is a mama’s boy. We all know it.

- He wants to have a family. He really does. Part of him refuses to believe he ever will, that he doesn’t deserve it. The other part thinks that it’s the only thing that will fill the hole in his heart.

#agent whiskey #jack daniels #agent whiskey headcanons #jack daniels headcanons #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels x reader #kingsman the golden circle

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schrijverr · 3 years

Text

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 7 out of 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: mentions of grief

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 7: Betony Means ‘Surprise’

Alex and Thomas had gone on two more dates together when April rolled around. Nothing had been made official yet, but the kisses had become more heated, their text messages more familiar, with Thomas staying over after movie nights.

However, Alex now had a problem.

He stopped Angelica as she exited her office: “Hey, Angelica, Angie, one of my favorite sisters, how are you?”

“What do you need, Alex?” he wasn’t all that subtle and she saw right through him.

“I am having a minor crisis and I need you to tell me what to do, but I can’t have Thomas overhear. Can we please go into your office?” he pleaded.

“Having love life issues?” her eyes lit up and he felt a small betrayal at her glee about his crisis, but he was also just happy she was listening.

“Yes,” he sighed, “Can we go now?”

“Of course,” she opened the door and ushered him in, asking, “So, what’s up? Tell me everything.”

“Did you know Thomas’s birthday is the 13th??” he whisper yelled at her.

“Yeah, I’ve been friends with him for a while, it’s always been that date,” Angelica shouldn’t sound so amused in Alex’s not so humble opinion.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I don’t know what you’re so upset about, Thomas has been the birthday boy before, ‘Lexi.” she teased him.

“Yeah, but when he was the birthday boy before,we weren’t in this weird limbo where we’re not dating dating, but it’s also not friendship and when it was my birthday we were just beginning to be friends, so I have no clue what he’ll expect from me and I’m really freaking out and you need to help me. Now. Preferably.”

Apparently the panic in his eyes was enough for Angelica to drop the teasing and say: “Hey, no reason to stress, take a breath for a moment,” Alex did so, “Good. So, what is the main stressor right now?”

“I can fulfill expectations except I do not know what the expectations are and I will mess up,” Alex told her.

“That’s valid, but you’re also a dumbass,” this is why he loved Angelica, just because she knew him well enough to call him out on his bullshit, even if the bullshit was coming from his own brain.

“Just tell me what to do,” Alex said tiredly, he had been stressing so much about this that he just wanted to give up at this point.

“Well, me and Thomas are friends, you know this, but his birthday- let’s say he’s not big on it and I never really mentioned it to him, so I don’t really know.”

“Then what-”

She cut him off: “But, he and James are much closer. You can ask him.”

“I don’t want to ask him.”

“Why not, don’t be whiny about this.”

“Because it’s embarrassing,” Alex most definitely whined.

“Then you just have to suck it up or keep stressing,” Angelica shrugged.

Alex bit his lip as he thought about it. He and James had worked together on a project, before James moved to a different branch. It was around the time John had died and Alex wasn’t a pleasant person back then, so when Thomas came back they had definitively grown apart. Alex hadn’t talked to James in forever.

But he also wanted to be a good maybe-boyfriend to Thomas and he didn’t want to disappoint or hurt the other man when it had been going so well so far.

He sighed: “Do you know where his office is?”

Angelica smiled and told him, before giving him a cookie from the jar she had on her desk, because she was ‘a grown woman who could do whatever she wanted, you judgmental asshole.’

“I’ll be off then.”

“Good luck, ‘Lexi,” Angelica waved cheerily as she went the other way to the printer room, while Alex felt as if he approached the doors of the Hell even though it was just the lift.

Getting off two floors below, he walked over to James’ office and knocked, waiting for a beat until the other called out: “Come in.”

He slowly opened the door and in the most awkward way possible he greeted: “Heeey.”

“Alexander, what a pleasant surprise,” he wasn’t sure how much James meant that, but he was hoping for sincerity.

“Yeah, good to see you too, it’s been a while, sorry. I, uhm, I’m not that good with keeping up with people,” he said, before adding, “Especially back then, sorry for that.”

James looked him over carefully, then said: “I understand. You must forgive him, but Thomas gave me some context.”

“Ah, yeah, well, can’t say I didn’t do the same,” Alex replied, “Though, I should have reached out again after I processed a bit more, I kinda took it out on you and that wasn’t okay.”

“No, it wasn’t,” James acknowledged, then the subject was apparently done in his eyes, since he swiftly moved on: “I suppose you have a reason for coming here now.”

“Yeah, can I come in?”

James gestured for him to enter so he closed the door behind him and sat down in one of the chairs across from James as he began: “Now, I know this is not your thing, but I need your advise about something.”

“Is it about Thomas?” James stopped him before he could continue.

“It’s about Thomas,” Alex confirmed.

“What stupid thing are you planning now?” James asked with a sigh.

“Nothing,” James didn’t believe him, so he went on, “Well, nothing yet. It’s- His birthday is coming up – I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you know that – but it’s coming up and I don’t know if I should do something or if he wants to be left alone, just- what are the expectations? Do you know what Thomas expects? From me.”

James paused at the word vomit and mulled over his words, before asking: “You really care about this, don’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s- it’s been really good and I don’t wanna mess it up,” Alex said, he decided to put all cards on the table in the hope that James would see he was honest and help him not fuck up the best thing that had happened to him since Philip was born.

“Hmm,” James hummed thoughtfully for a moment, then slowly and carefully he began, “Thomas does not like his birthday, he’s not a party man. He usually lets the date go by uncelebrated, so that’s something to keep in mind.”

“Okay, okay,” Alex nodded, “Is there anything I could do? Like, would he appreciate me showing up with take out and a movie or something? Like as a surprise? Is that something he would like?”

“I’m sorry, aren’tyou the one texting him every single day?” James said, “I have to listen to Thomas talk about you so much, I almost feel like I know you too well for the amount of interactions we’ve had and you really think me – the aroace – is the one to go for for dating advice?”

“Why is this so hard,” Alex groaned, “Ugh.”

James raised a brow at this.

“You weren’t the first I asked,” Alex told him, “I asked Angelica and she said to go to you. SoI hoped that you, as Thomas’s best friend, would be willing to help little old me.”

After a beat James said: “I think he would appreciate it, but bring a gift as well.”

“Thanks, you’re literally the best. What-”

“No, I’m not giving you gift ideas,” James cut him off, “Thomas is hard enough to buy something for and I came up with one idea and you’re not getting it.”

Alex chuckled at that, deciding that James had done enough for him to stop harassing the man about his own relationship issues. He smiled: “Alright, I’ll go now. Again, thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” James called out to him as he left and Alex did a small lazy salute to him as he left the office feeling a bit better about how to go about it.

As he walked back to his office he mentally made a plan of action, nodding satisfied to himself as he did. It felt good to know what the game was, so that he could find a way to play. Knowing his surroundings had always given him comfort.

It was Wednesday and Laf was picking Philip up from school, claiming the babysitters spot after saying that he hadn’t seen his favorite neveuin forever. This worked in Alex’s favor.

He was let up into the apartment and was immediately greeted by Philip, jumping into his arms as he rambled about cars and a monster and French.

Alex listened and waited until he was done talking, before saying: “Wow, that sounds very cool, buddy. Seems you had a productive afternoon. How was school? Learn anything fun?”

“We talked about shapes!” Philip told him, before explaining why a square was a rectangle, but a rectangle not always a square, “Isn’t that super mega cool?”

“That is super mega cool, buddy,” Alex agreed.

Before he could say more, Laf interrupted: “Wow, just ignored in my own home, I feel personally attacked, mon ami.”

“Ah, sorry,” Alex was the only one of his friends with kids, of course Eliza and Maria had the orphanage, but it wasn’t the same. It was supposed to be him and John together, but now he was mostly on his own and he still felt awkward about it sometimes, like he was too young and had made a mistake, even though Philip was the best thing in his life and completely planned.

“Don’t worry about it, it was a joke,” Laf smiled, easing his anxiety slightly.

Alex smiled back, then asked Philip: “Have you been nice for your Uncle Laf? Didn’t tear the place down, I hope.”

Philip shook his head: “I was very good.”

“We’ll see,” Alex winked, before raised a questioning brow at Laf.

“Mon petit neveustill takes after his best Uncle and is an absolute star,” he said, “You did well with him Alex.”

“Good to hear,” Alex replied, ruffling Philip’s hair, “Maybe you’ll get an extra story tonight, buddy. You can play a little more now, I have to ask your Uncle Laf something for a moment, okay?”

At that Philip cheered as he raced off to his cars, dropping to his knees and getting immersed in his little world once more.

Alex followed him with fond eyes, before Lafayette said: “So, have to ask Uncle Laf something, I am curious.”

“Ah, yeah, uhm, don’t tease me, okay?”

“You’re onlymaking me more curious, Alexandre. What is it?”

“I don’t know what to get Thomas for his birthday.”

Lafayette gasped and jumped a bit, grin splitting his face: “I will help you find the perfect gift!”

“Really?” Alex was relieved, “Thank you so much.”

“It’s not problem, I need this sort of entertainment in my life,” Laf clapped him on the back, “So, what is the vibe?”

“Well, I’m planning to come over to his house with take out and just watching a movie together,” Alex explained, “James said he’s not big on huge birthday parties and we’re not dating dating so I don’t want to make it too big of a deal, but still a deal, if that makes sense?”

“Good insight, I once threw him a huge birthday party and he did not appreciate it.”

“Oof.”

“Yeah, it happens, mon ami, not everyone can see my great party planning skills for what they’re worth,” Laf lamented, “But a gift, he likes books, poetry, music – especially classics – and, uhm, fashion, but I don’t think you’re the man for that.”

“I would protest that, because he literally wears magenta suits, but he also said that I dress – and I quote – ‘like the pits of fashion,’ so he would agree more with you in that,” Alex shrugged.

“Good,” Lafayette nodded, “Now, music, I don’t know how much you overlap in music, so maybe stay out of that one unless you’re sure, so that leaves books and poetry, which you have a lot in common in, so maybe do that.”

Alex nodded, but couldn't say anything before Laf gasped: “Buy him love poetry.”

“That’s kinda corny don’t you think?”Alex asked.

Lafayette thought of that one time Thomas had told him Martha had written him a love song and he had cried, before he shook his head: “No, Thomas loves corny, it’s a good gift.”

“Okay, thank you, you are my knight in shining armor,” Alex told him.

“Live to please,” Lafayette winked, “Hey, do you and Pip want to stay over for dinner, I feel like we hardly get to talk with all the adult responsibilities.”

“Yeah sure, that sounds great actually, though it’s not my fault you’re in France most of the time,” Alex ribbed him slightly.

“Oh please, you would too if you had a real job.”

“How dare you,” they fell into familiar squabbling grown out of many years as young drunk college students making bad choices together.

As they wined and dined Alex mulled over Lafayette’s suggestion. It was a good suggestion, but Alex worried it might be too much, but then again he wasn’t doing much organization-wise, so maybe it would just have to be the gift that was a bit more.

He did want to show up as a surprise, but he didn’t want to be too unexpected or make it seem like he had forgotten or something.

While the night progressed, the idea became more solid in his head and by the time he was tucking Philip in, he knew what he was going to do.

By the time the 13thof April arrived Alex was kinda nervous as he came into the office. He put his stuff down in his office and took a deep breath before going to the break room to make two cups of coffee and wait at Thomas’s office.

He had timed it pretty well and not a minute later Thomas came sauntering over to his office, stopping when he saw Alex. Alex attempted a wave, but was stopped by his full hands, so he just said: “Uhm, happy birthday.”

Thomas blinked for a moment, the smiled and shook his head: “You didn’t have to do that, but thanks.”

“I know you don’t like to celebrate, so I didn’t want to do anything big, but I did want to do something, it would feel weird to just let it go by, so uhm, here,” he held out the flowers he had with him and the coffee, “I checked your office vase yesterday and there was nothing, so I hope that’s still the case.”

“It is. Thank you, they’re beautiful,” Thomas took the purple flowers, “What are they?”

“They’re betonies,” Alex replied, knowing why Thomas was asking. They had been doing this thing with flowers for a while now, both trying to find flowers that suited the occasion or the other person, which was why he had picked them.

“I love them,” Thomas smiled, opening his office and asking, “Wanna drink this coffee in my office before we start?”

“Hell yeah.”

They drank they coffee talking about nothing and everything as they started up slowly. Before Alex and Thomas starting drinking coffee in the morning, Alex would rush through drinking his coffee to get to his office as fast as he could, but he was starting to see the joys of taking his time in the morning.

Thomas loved how he got Alex to calm down a bit. He loved the other’s ambitions and quick wit along with his concentrated face when he was typing a mile a minute, but this more mellow version of Alex was also nice to witness from time to time.

After a whileAlex finally stood up, stretching as he said: “Alright, I should probably go to work now. See you at lunch? I’m buying.”

“I’m not saying no to free food. See ya, then,” Thomas waved as Alex left.

Whenthe door hadclosed, he got out his phone and quickly Googled the meaning of betonies. Frowning when he saw that they meant surprise, was it because the flowers were a surprise or because Alex had something else up his sleeve?

He started on his work as he mulled over the possibilities.

An hour into the day, Angelica knocked on his door and came in with a smile: “Hi, birthday boy, you feeling old yet?”

“And hello to you too, Angie,” Thomas deadpanned.

“Ahw, come on, Tommy, it’s all in good faith,” she smirked, entering his office and handing him a card.

With slight apprehension he took the card and sighed when he saw that it was a black and white picture of an old lady on a skateboard that read ‘OLD BUT STILL COOL!’ He looked at it then up to Angelica tiredly: “Why are you like this?”

“You love it,” she grinned, then added: “Old man.”

“Just because you’re two years younger, doesn’t mean you’re funny,” he told her, “I’m not even forty yet, so fuck off.”

“Well, you live in your world, I’ll live in mine,” she turned and commented, “Nice flowers.”

Thomas blushed and mumbled: “Yeah, Alex got them for me.”

“Ahw, how sweet,” Angelica cooed, “You two are so cute. If I wasn’t so glad being single, I would be jealous.”

“Shut up.”

“Are you blushing?”

“I don’t like how much it sounds like you’re enjoying my pain, Angelica,” he said, “And since it’s my birthday, you’re not allowed to.”

Angelica laughed: “What are you? Five?”

“No, according to this card I’m fifty, thanks for that.”

“You’re not actually hurt, are you, Tommy?”

“Give me a cookie from your cookie stash and I won’t be.”

“Come on, you big loser, it’s coffee break time anyway.”

He happily got up and followed her out of his office to hers, going back to hang out in the break room for a moment afterwards and catch up on life.

Lunch came around and Alex got a small cupcake, which he gave to him with a shrug: “I wanted to put a candle in there, but fire safety AKA Washington, was lame andwouldn’t allow it.”

“Life happens,” Thomas grinned, picturing Alex whining while Washington refused to let him burn the office down by accident.

“Yeah, it does,” Alex grinned back, “Okay day so far?”

Thomas nodded: “Yeah, got a cookie from Angie and been enjoying my flowers.”

“Glad you like them,” and then Alex gave him a mysterious smirk that Thomas couldn't decipher and he wanted to ask what it was about, but he also wanted to figure it out on his own. So, instead he asked about Alex’s work and let the conversation flow easily between them.

When Alex left to go back to work, he planted a peck on Thomas’s forehead then his nose when he saw the blush, commenting that it was still cute, which didn’t help the blush at all.

With Alex’s departure, he was thinking about the flowers again and he had no clue what to think.

He was still intently staring at them when James entered his office. His friend had already called him in the morning, but had come to congratulate him in person as well: “Thomas, congrats on being thirty-eight, almost not a youngling anymore.”

“Ugh, are you and Angelica teaming up?” Thomas asked, “I swear the only whose been nice about the whole age thing is Alex and that’s just cause he wants to be nice on my birthday, he’ll join you tomorrow, probably.”

“You’re being dramatic, Thomas,” James told him, no pity there, “Ah, flowers, how lovely.”

Aha, he could ask James what he thought they meant. He smiled: “They are. They’re betonies, they mean surprise, what do you think he meant with that?”

“I think he thought: ‘Oh purple, Thomas likes purple, these flowers are pretty, I’ll get them,’” James informed him.

“That’s not what he sounds like,” Thomas protested.

“It’s kind of what he sounds like, with the run on sentences. I swear that man doesn’t know a dot when it hits him in the face,” James complained.

“I always forget you two worked together,” Thomas mused, “Anyway, not the point. The point is that the flowers mean surprise and I need to know why.”

“And I already told you.”

“You’re missing the point, Jemmy. Me and Alex do this thing with the flowers,” Thomas explained, “He asked me out with cornflowers, it was fucking cute, alright. The flowers mean surprise for a reason and I need to figure it out. It’s probably a clue.”

“I think you’re blowing this out of proportion,” James said, twisting his handkerchief around his fingers.

“Oh- you- the- I think you’re lying.”

“What?”

“You’re twisting the handkerchief, you do that when you’re lying,” Thomas accused, “You know something.”

“No, I don’t and I don’t twist my handkerchief when I’m lying,” James protested.

“Yes, you do. You did it when Laf threw me the surprise party- oh God, he’s not throwing me a surprise party is he?”

“He’s not, Thomas, calm down.”

“So you do know something?”

“I can’t believe I’m still friends with you,” James avoided the question.

“I can,” Thomas replied, “Now, tell me what you know.”

James sighed and rubbed his forehead: “I’m not telling you anything.”

“Why not, Jemmy, please,” Thomas whined.

“Because the flowers mean surprise,” James told him bluntly, “I thought you were big on their meaning.”

“You’re so mean to me, Jemmy.”

“And you mostly deserve it,” James said, “Now, have your sisters called you, yet? Or your mom?”

“Yeah, I missed Ma and Mary, I think Jane just left a message though. Why can’t they send a text like Randy, that’s at leasteasy.”

“Oh, jikes.”

“I know, I’m gonna hear about that,” Thomas sighed, “But I don’t want to talk to them yet, because this thing with Alex is just really starting and I don’t want them nosing around – and I know they will – and I just don’t want them to ruin it. You know I can’t keep my mouth shut around them.”

“You’re going to have to tell them eventually,” James said kindly.

“I know, I know, but I want to at least know how to describe Alex when I finally do,” Thomas sighed.

James gave him a look: “You can talk to Alex about it.”

Thomas hid under his arms: “Yeah, but that’s scary, cause what if he doesn’t like me that much? What if he thinks it’s too fast?”

“Thomas, you’ve been on four, in your words, amazing dates, you’ve seen him cry in front of his late husband’s grave, you cried in his arms, I don’t think it’s too fast,” James said, “Now, I know, I might not have the best grip on this, but from what I heard from him, you’re good.”

“You talked to him? What did he say?”

“He said it was really good,” James decided it couldn't hurt to boost Thomas’s confidence, “Look, you don’t have to talk about it today or anything, but you’re going to at some point. I think you both want this, so go for it.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” Thomas whined.

“Then you hate me most of the time,” James smirked.

“I hate you.”

“You just said.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’d rather you don’t.”

“James, you assh- you know what? Never mind, that one never gets old.”

“Thank you, I try.”

Thomas stretched, popping his back, before making a face: “God, soon these old man comments are going to be true.”

James just laughed at his pain, then they chatted a bit more, before James bid him farewell and told him to enjoy the rest of his birthday. Thomas rolled his eyes at that, he was just going to sit on his couch with wine or something, James knew that.

He finished up his work early and said goodbye to Alex, who was still typing away on his laptop. He waved back absentmindedly, hair in a messy bun as he mouthed some words. The picture made Thomas pause, smiling softly.

At home, he kicked off his shoes and got dressed in black sweat pants and a tank top. He stopped at the picture of Martha on his bedside table. It was his favorite picture of her, she was wearing a yellow sundress and sitting in a field under a tree, holding her guitar and smiling.

He smiled at it and whispered: “I wish you could see me now, sweetheart. You’d be so proud of me.”

The picture stayed silent, but it’s presence was still comforting, so Thomas picked it up and looked at it for a moment.

Then he went downstairs and put on some classical music with a book, determined to enjoy his birthday surrounded by soft pillows.

His stomach started rumbling about an hour later, but before he could do something about it, his phone started ringing. Glancing at the contact, he saw it was Lafayette. He knew he couldn't just ignore the man, because he would show up at his door, so he picked up: “Hi, Laf.”

“Mon ami, bonjour, bonjour,” Lafayette greeted him excitedly, “Bon anniversaire! How are you on this fine day?”

“Yeah, yeah, you know, the usual,” Thomas said, “Though, Alex got me flowers, that was nice.”

“Ahw, you two are so attachante, I love you two,” Laf cooed.

Thomas just rolled his eyes at the Frenchman’s antics, he had long since gotten used to the unlimited amount of energy he seemed to have. He asked: “So, how has your day been?”

“Ugh, you would not believe, Tommy, what I’ve been through, okay,” Lafayette began, “Sometimes a day is ruined as it starts – it was a day like that. Woke up late, big line at Starbucks, didn’t have oat milk for my latte, was late at work, security were having issues and that was before I had even gotten to my office.”

“Sounds awful, Laf,” Thomas was happy to let Lafayette ramble, he liked listening to others with little expectations of his own involvement in the conversation.

“I know, right?” Lafayette agreed, “So, I get to my desk and I rememberedI left it a mess yesterday. Granted, this was my own fault, but it was another thing that just bogs you down, you know. Anyway, I get to organizing my desk then Janice came up to me.”

“Racist, homophobic Senator Janice?”

“Yes, her, the fucking bitch. And I was feeling myself, I was having my highlighter moment, got these cute dangling earrings in.”

“The ones Eliza got for you? With the little crystals?”

“Yeah, I love them – I should thank her for those again, hmm – anyway, Janice starts going off about them, like she’s not dressed like a Walmart clearance rack. Which, nothing wrong with that, but don’t come after my moment.”

Thomas just hummed, confirming he was still listening.

“I wasn’t having this, but before I could level her to the ground, Nyke saves me from slapping a Senator. I appreciate them so much, the only valid person in the entire White House, I will swear by that.”

That got a huff out of Thomas, who asked: “Not the President, but your intern?”

“Obviously, at least Nyke knows how to dress,” Laf replied, “Ugh, they were wearing a corset by the way and I am really tempted, but I’m not sure. What do you think?”

��I mean, if you want to. Why not?” Thomas shrugged, “It seems like something you could pull off. I don’t know, yolo or something?”

“Did you just say yolo?” there was a weird sort of glee and upset in Lafayette’s voice.

“Yeah, not cool anymore?”

“Not- not cool? Honey that hasn’t been cool in years.”

“It started ironic, okay.”

Lafayette cackled: “God, I know you were becoming old today, but hot damn.”

“Not you too,” Thomas whined.

“Not the first?” Lafayette asked, glee not at all hidden.

“No, James and Angie are mean to me and at this point I’m just waiting for Alex to join, but I think he’s waiting until my actual birthday is over in an attempt to be nice,” Thomas lamented.

“You know him so well.”

“I hate you.”

“Live to please.”

“Can we go back to Janice and Nyke?” Thomas pleaded.

“Of course!” Laf’s cheery voice came through the phone, “So, Nyke saved me from beating a bitch up, we drank coffee together – love having interns, it’s great – boring meetings blah, blah, blah.”

“I love that you describe your important job in the government as ‘blah, blah, blah.’”

“We all have our talents, mon ami.”

“Yeah, mine are getting insulted for being old. I’m not even forty yet, okay, I’m not that old. They’re only a few years younger than me, the assholes. I mean, Alex is thirty-three, he has no rights.”

“He hasn’t even started to, Thomas.”

“But he’s going to,” Thomas moped.

“I mean, true.”

“I hate it here.”

“It can’t have been that bad, tell me something good from today,”

“Well, Alex got me flowers, betonies, actually,” Thomas told him, “They mean surprise, know anything about that?”

“Non,” Laf was lying, Thomas knew it, but didn’t push, “Anything else fun?”

“Angie and James coming by was nice and lunch with Alex was nice too. He got me a muffin and complained Washington wouldn’t let him light a candle within the office,” Thomas smiled, “He’s a little menace.”

“Yes, he is, gave that to another scélérat.”

“Is the scoundrel in question perhaps Philip?”

“Indeed, I hear you’ve been upgraded to Uncle Thomas?” there was a bit of teasing in Lafayette’s voice, but also pride.

Thomas blushed and said: “Yeah, who said? It has to be someone from the movie night you weren’t at. Was it Alex? Or Angie?”

“Oh, non, it was mon petitPip, himself, grand tales of his bestest Uncle Thomas,” Laf most definitely teasing with that, but Thomas just blushed heavier, happy that the kid liked him so much, which had been an insecurity when he and Alex had started.

“When did you speak with him? He doing alright?”

“I would say that you get to see him more often than me, but I have him here,” Lafayette informed him, “We’re watching Beauty and the Beasttonight.”

“What? Where’s Alex?”

“Rude, I can spend time with mon neveu, Thomas,” Lafayette said.

“Lafayette, it’s almost 18:30, if Alex’s still at work I have to go drag him away from his laptop,” Thomas explained, “He should be picking Philip up by now, by a while ago, actually.”

“Non, of course not, me and Pip are having a sleepover,” Laf turned the phone away and Thomas could hear him yell: “Pip, you’re having a sleepover with your favorite Uncle, aren’t you?”

There was a faint, inaudible reply, before Laf returned to the phone and grumbled: “Thomas, you need to upgrade yourself to dad soon, I’m loosing my status.”

“What?” Thomas chocked.

“Nothing,” Laf breezed on, “My point is Alex knows where Pip is and it’s all good.”

“Then he could still be at the office, I should call him,” Thomas worried.

“No, of course not, he’s- uhm,” Laf was searching for words when the doorbell rang.

Thomas looked up and frowned, he wasn’t expecting company and he hadn’t ordered anything yet either. He told Laf: “Sorry, one sec. There’s someone at the door.”

“Oh, that’s my cue to go,” Laf sounded relieved at that. His nonsense babbling supply had run dry by now.

“What?”

“You’ll see,” and with that mysterious message, Lafayette hung up.

Thomas shook his head, before going to the front door, thinking of who the fuck it could be. When he saw the person through the window, it all clicked and he wanted to facepalm for it being so obvious.

He opened the door: “Hey, darlin’.”

Alex was dressed casually with a bag of take out in his one hand, a small present in the other. He smiled nervously: “Uhm, surprise.”

~~~~~~~~

A/N:

Disclaimer: aroace people can give good relationship advise, be in relationships if they so wish and I do not want to invalidate anyone, so sorry if it came across like that. I’m just picturing James as an aroace who doesn’t date and doesn’t want to and is tired of everyone’s allo shit.

I love James as a character, but it’s hard to get him in with so many moving parts and people, so sorry for his small role so far. I’ll see what I can do.

This actually goes for all the characters, I want to give them all the attention they deserve, but keeping the story going is also important, so balance ahhh

#RR writing #tw: grief mention #Hamilton #Hamilton AU #Alexander Hamilton #Thomas Jefferson #Angelica Schuyler #James Maddison #Lafayette #Marquis de Lafayette #Philip Hamilton #Jamilton #'Till Death Do Us Part #'Till Death Do Us Part Part 7 #'Till Death Do Us Part AU

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xfandomwritingsx · 4 years

Text

His Girl – Steve Rogers – Part 1

-gif source-

Description: You’ve always been Bucky’s girl. But Bucky’s not here anymore…

Warnings/Labels: Post Snap. Angst. Self-Hate. Pining. Daddy kink. Slightest briefest illusion to choking kink. No smut yet. A small hint of fluff if you squint.

Approx. Word Count: 7,000

A/N: This took on a mind of its own. I’m sorry. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but as it usually happens with me, I’ve written this part and am just at a standstill. So to boost my motivation, I’m posting what I’ve got. I hope you guys like it. There will be smut in the next part. Just as soon as I write it.

You hate how cliché it is. Really, you do. If you could stop it, you would. If you could stop the ache inside of you yearning for your best friend left in the galaxy and simply go back to the overwhelming sadness, the mourning for your lost boyfriend, you would do it in a heartbeat. Because at least the sadness felt right. It belonged. It was valid.

The aching flame of desire that’s been building, growing steadily inside of you is not. It’s out of place in this world and it’s just wrong. It feels like betrayal and tastes like bitter poison with the potential to destroy you.

It’s so damn clichéd to say he’s an addiction, but fuck it if you just can’t bring yourself to leave him behind. You tried once. You stopped answering his calls and his texts. You took a vacation away from everyone, but it felt like a torture just as bad as indulging in what you have to admit is much more than a crush. You’d been back in town less than twenty-four hours before he showed up at your apartment to greet you and just seeing him made you feel light and airy and you knew you were hopeless. So you stopped trying.

The worst part about all of it? You know he feels the same way about you. For most, knowing the person you want to be with also wants to be with you would be a blessing. Instead, it’s a cruel twist of the knife in the back of the man you love.

Loved?

No. Love. Loves. There are some days you need to remind yourself. Bucky is gone, but your love is not, cannot, and will not be gone. Which is why the way Steve’s watching you from across the table sends both a blush to your cheeks and drop kick to your gut.

He’s different now, hardened over the last three years since the snap. Maybe that’s why it’s only now that you’ve drawn such an attraction to him. He had been too soft for you before, too morally white and good. He’d slipped into the role of supportive friend and colleague so easily that there was no room for anything else. And when you grew close to and eventually fell head over heels for Bucky? Any chance of a spark was stomped out. With that Steve at least. But this one? This Steve opened a new door that you aren’t sure can be shut. This Steve is rough around the edges and takes what he wants. This Steve is watching you instead of the holographic conference call you’re on, propping his elbow on his armrest, two fingers resting on his cheek while he gently bites down on the tip of his ring finger and his pinky plays along his bottom lip, all with an absolutely sinful look in his eyes.

Old Steve never would have done that.

You struggle to listen to what everyone else is saying. The meeting is boring to say the least, a bi-weekly check in that didn’t really need to be done but everyone participated in our of habit. It’s just you and Steve physically in the room since Natasha had left earlier in the day to travel to a nearby town that needed aid. You wonder briefly if the rest of your colleagues notice the way he’s looking at you or the way you shift in your seat across the wide spacing circular table, but you don’t really care. You realize you’re biting your lower lip and his eyes are drawn to where your teeth sink in gently.

Someone calls your name with the tone of having already called it at least twice and you snap your eyes back up to the blue holograms in front of you. Carol is raising a single eyebrow at you and Rhodey is wearing the smallest smirk. You push down the embarrassment and sit further up in your chair, straightening your back and forcing yourself not to look at Steve who you know is chuckling at your lack of composure.

“Nothing new to report here,” you say after clearing your throat. “Nat’s on her way now to help some cleanup efforts and nothing major has come up recently. Afraid to say it, but things might actually, finally be cooling down.” You chance a look across the table and Steve has his own eyebrow raised in a much less annoyed way than Carol had. His is teasing, suggestive. Things may have been cooling down for the rest of the world, but boy is it getting hot in this room.

Fucking clichés again. It sounded ridiculous even in your own cloudy head.

The call ends quickly after that. One by one all of their images dissolve in front of you and you’re left with no one else to look at except Steve. He removes his hand from his face, thank god, and folds them both into his lap as he casually leans back.

“Plans this afternoon?” he inquires. You mirror his posture, leaning back in your own chair.

“I should do those reports,” you groan, letting your head flop backwards onto the edge of the chair’s back. You hear him chuckle lightly before he responds in an apologetic way.

“You know no one reads them anyways.” You snap your head back to squint your eyes at him.

“You used to be all about paperwork, you know. What happened to organization keeps us going like a well-oiled machine or whatever it was you spewed at us?” you tease. He cracks a smile.

“Less people makes keeping up with briefings a lot simpler.” There’s a bitter sadness behind the look on bright side undertone to his words and it threatens to ruin the mood. You tilt your head lazily and push past it.

“Did you have something else in mind?” You don’t really have many plans today. The place could use a cleaning, but that’s not exactly high up on your want-to-do list. He shrugs and locks your eyes.

“We haven’t sparred together for a while.” The suggestion sends a cold chill down your spine, a twist in your gut, and a tingling warmth between your legs, all of which leaves you feeling like you might float up out of your seat. He watches you carefully, just like always. Looking and waiting for the rejection, the polite decline on his invite.

“I’ll meet you in the gym in ten?” You’ve never said no. Like the cliché goes; it’s a fucking addiction.

Sparring has become your dirty little secret. You’d done it before, sure. But back then it was strict and with purpose and Old Steve corrected your form with precision. Now you only did it when you were alone and it was a whole different game.

It starts friendly, a light warmup and practice drills both of you could do in your sleep by now. Some friendly banter. A couple of unexpected moves to throw the other off balance. His corrections no longer have that precision they once had. Instead his hands linger on you and he presses a little closer. Your focus has now shifted from besting the great Captain America to instead figuring out if you can get him to pin you down in a way that isn’t completely obvious.

There’s times it’s slow and drawn out, a lot of dancing around and eyeing each other before a takedown. Other times it’s hard and fast with barely any warning before one of you is on top of the other. Sometimes it gets rough; a shove into a wall or a takedown that knocks your breath out completely. It was rough a lot the first year after The Snap. Neither of you ever willing to admit you needed the pain to fee alive. You’ve moved past that now and the roughness is for the sheer pleasure of it all.

And then occasionally, when you haven’t been around each other enough and there’s something pent up inside both of you, it gets dirty; innuendos whispered against the shell of an ear, his leg between yours and a slight grind of his hips when he has you against the wall, an accidental slip of your hand up the inside of his thigh. The dirty was rare and taboo, but you couldn’t help but want it more often than you got it.

No matter the type, at the end of it, you’re always breathing heavily and worn out, a mixture of aching to do it again and feeling completely satisfied coursing through you. You don’t like admitting it’s your version of sex, but it is. And the only reason you’re not slipping your hand into your panties every night after you do it is because you’re just too damn tired. Besides, you do that plenty of other nights. But that, and the overwhelming self-hate that comes with it, is a different story.

You make quick work of changing into the black leggings, sports bra, and simple tank top you’ve made a habit of keeping in your room at The Haven. The place is your second home and there are some weeks you’re here more than you are your apartment, but you’ve thinned out the wardrobe you keep in an effort to keep yourself from lingering too long. As empty as it has become, the whole building holds an air of depression that’s seeped right into the grey walls. It’s also why you all stopped calling it The Compound and renamed it The Haven. It was a nice attempt to bring a warm feeling back to the place, even if it didn’t always work.

You’re almost out of your bedroom door when you see the red sweater, his red sweater, resting on the chair in the corner. It gives you pause and that punch of guilt comes crashing over you in a wave. Leaving him in your room to go fuck his best friend.

Stop.

It’s not what you’re doing. He’s not in your room. He’s gone. Gone. And you’re not fucking anyone.

You slip backwards out the door and watch that sweater until it’s just a sliver between the door and the frame. And then it’s gone, trapped behind a heavy wood door to stop taunting you. You breathe a weighted sigh and pry your hand from the door handle. Steve is waiting for you.

---

“Feisty today, aren’t you?” he hisses after your elbow in his ribs puts some space between you. You’ve been at it for a little over twenty minutes.

“Can’t handle me?” You swipe your arm over your forehead to slick away sweat. “You’re getting slow, old man.”

“Age jokes?” There’s a smirk on his lips that should have warned you that he was about to make a move, but you’re completely unprepared. “What’s next?” he grunts as he manipulates you to twist your arm behind your back and presses his chest to your shoulder blades. His other hand ghosts around your neck, never doing more than cradling it in his palm. “You gonna start calling me Daddy?”

Your sharp gasp is audible and there’s not a chance in the entire galaxy that he didn’t feel the way you shuddered and melted back against him. There’s a small chuckle against your hair just behind your ear that confirms it.

Did he know? Had Bucky told him about your little secret kink that was rarely indulged upon? Fuck. Did he know all of your kinks? How much did they share with each other? Best friends.

“Yield?” His voice is clearer, hands already loosening around you in preparation of letting you go. You recognize the tone. Something triggered his own guilt, prompting him to step back. You can let him go or you can keep him close, continue your game and push the boundaries. You want to so badly.

You hesitate and breath catches in your throat as you fight internally with yourself before finally whispering, “Yield,” back to him. He’s gone in an instant, cold air filling the empty space behind you and you instantly regret it.

There is no right answer.

---

You have a reoccurring dream that’s somewhere between ecstasy and terror. You’re sharing a bed with Steve, in your childhood bedroom for a reason you can never figure out. It’s dark in the room and he’s pressed up behind you, a large hand over your hip and a clear hardness rubbing against your ass. Neither of you speak, but you push back into him, aching to feel that hardness between your legs.

You grind against each other, soft moans the only sounds you hear. Then it’s not enough and that ache becomes too strong. Clothes are gone, dissolved off your bodies like they were never there as he scoops his arm behind your knees, bringing them to your chest as he sits up. He keeps you on your side as he gets to his knees, one hand on your ass, the other keeping your legs together and towards your chest. He lines himself up and your body is begging him to push inside of you. You bite down on your lip so hard, you swear you could feel the pain of it in the morning when you wake. All you want is for him to press his hips forward and put his dick inside of you.

He obliges, but slowly. He eases in, just an inch at a time, slowing spreading you open for him and pleasure coursing through you. You moan and grip your pillow tighter. He feels only barely inside of you when there’s a sound outside the door, footsteps of someone coming closer.

You hope and plead that they won’t enter, but they do. Steve bunches the comforter around his waist, shielding you from the unwanted eyes of the intruder, but stays inside of you. You want the person to go away, want Steve to push all the way inside of you, to fuck you like you’ve been craving, but it doesn’t happen. Steve withdraws and in a fit of anger about the feeling of emptiness between your legs, you sit up and are faced with the betrayal in Bucky’s eyes as he stands at the foot of your bed.

You don’t remember much after that. Sometimes there is more, but when you wake you can never quite piece together the blurry memories. Sometimes you just wake up right there, unsure if you’re left horny or distraught; your constant inner turmoil. Usually, you kick the covers off yourself to cool your sweaty body and bury your face into your pillow, willing yourself back to sleep.

---

You still remember the first time you realized how you felt about Steve. It happened unexpectedly and very suddenly. You’d both been in the study of what once was the Avengers Tower, but now was more of an empty, cursed castle. It was only eight months after The Snap. It didn’t feel like that long. As you both sat there in silence, a record playing softly to fill the void, you looked down into your newly empty glass and just felt defeated.

A song started and from the very first bar, you recognized it. It was the slow, entrancing voice of Doris Day singing a song that had become very, very dear to your heart. Tears welled up, but you pushed them away with the back of your hand.

“He used to say that if we ever got married, this was the song he wanted to dance to,” you told Steve, voice surprisingly clear for how you were feeling. He looked up from his own drink. You knew the alcohol didn’t have the same effect on his body as it did you and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing for him right then. He looked at you apologetically and nodded.

“I know a thing or two about being owed a dance you’ll never get.” It may not be the same exact situation, but he understood how you felt, how just a song could send you down a path in your mind that hurt so badly. He waited for a moment before downing the rest of his glass and standing up. He walked over to the record player and with a delicate ease, started the song over. Walking over to where you sat with a confused, sad look, he held out his hand. “I’m not Bucky, but I’m not too bad of a dancer.” You couldn’t help but smile at him and his attempt to ease the sorrow.

“Well I’m not Peggy,” you said, slipping your hand into his. He gave a gentle pull to bring you to your feet. “And I will probably step on your toes,” you joke. It brought a smile to his face wider than you’d seen in a long time and it made you feel truly happy that you’d been the one to put it there.

The song itself is only about a minute and a half long so he made quick work of placing his hand politely at your hip and holding your hand out to the side, swooping you into a small, slow step. He led with a grace you didn’t quite expect and it was easy to follow him, to get lost in the sway of the simple piano in the song.

You found yourself leaning in closer, turning your head and pressed your cheek to his shoulder, eyes closed and face practically buried into the comfort of his neck. He laid his head carefully against yours and you suspect he also had closed his eyes to lose himself. You expected yourself to think of nothing but Bucky, to be imagining it was his arms you were in. Instead, you melted into Steve and the only thing you could think of, was how safe you were in his arms.

You’d leaned heavily on each other in those first few months. Tears, hugs, shoulder bumps, squeezing hands, grounding looks from across the room. Anything and everything to keep your heads above water. He’d always been one of your best friends since the moment he came into your life and now you feared he may have actually been the last person on the planet that you could trust with everything you had.

As the song faded down, you pulled away from him just enough to look him in the eyes and that’s when it hit you. Like a ton of bricks, as they say. Something came over you and you just wanted to pull him down and kiss him. There was a look you couldn’t quite place in his eyes. They were soft, an internal conflict reflected in them as he glanced down to your lips in a slow blink. His hand closed around yours, a palpable change from the gentlemanly way he had cradled it through the dance. His lips parted a fraction and your stomach started twisting in an anxious sort of pleasure.

But then a new song came on, something more upbeat and the spell was broken. You both backed away from each other and you thanked him for the dance. You chocked it up to grief and craving safety and familiarity in such desolate and chaotic times. You expected it to fade, to wither away and never come back.

But all it did was grow.

---

You’re sitting in the main office with Steve, work long since forgotten. You’re sitting at what has officially become Nat’s desk, but with her gone on another will-be dead end hunt for Clint, you’ve made yourself comfortable in her chair. Steve sits across from you and though he won’t say it, he’s relieved he’s not in charge anymore. He’s content on the other side of the desk, riding out the storm instead of trying to tame it.

It’s gotten late, the room growing dark with patches of yellow light from the lamps gently placed around the room. Everyone had silently agreed the overhead lights were too harsh for nighttime. They were too white. Too happy. Too fake. A soft, warming color from the lamps fit the air of night much better. It also helps to shadow your face after you swallow the rest of your drink. Your hair, growing a little longer than usual, provides a curtain that helps to give you courage for the question burning at the tip of your tongue. There’s been flirtations passed between you and the way his eyes roam over your body as you lean back only encourages you.

“So be honest,” You don’t look at him as you ask, but instead at the empty glass you place on the desk. “Did he tell you?” When he responds with silence, you look up through your lashes to see a genuine look of confusion. You sigh, not wanting to elaborate. “The… daddy thing.” You cringe saying it. It’s been at least a month since Steve said it, but it still lingers in your mind all the time. His look of confusion lessens, but you can tell even more elaboration is still needed. “I don’t know how much guys share about that kind of stuff. I didn’t know if Bucky ever told you… about that.” Your foggy mind can’t find a tactful way to phrase Daddy Kink, but the look of realization dawns on his features. He licks his lips quickly before literally biting back a smile while he looks down. Your cheeks are absolutely burning in a blush right now.

“Uhh,” he stutters and clears his throat. “He did not.” You let out an embarrassed groan and throw your face into your hands which draws a chuckle from him.

“I thought for sure he had to have and you were screwing with me.” Your voice is muffled through your fingers, but still clear enough to understand. “Instead I just confess a kink for no reason.” Another groan from you and another chuckle from him.

“Buck was a private guy. He didn’t share much about what went on behind closed doors.” Why did you open your mouth? Steve hadn’t brought it up. You could have continued your lives without him knowing and without tossing yourself into a pit of embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” you tell him, starting to melt your hands away from your face, but sinking down further into your chair. “You didn’t need to know that about me. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He’s still biting his lower lip, trying not to laugh at you and you’re not sure if you want to disintegrate or laugh along with him.

“If it helps,” he starts, the sly smile on his lips tempting to turn into a seductive smirk. “Even though he didn’t tell me, it was pretty clear by the way you… reacted.” You can’t help it. It’s a tortured groan that comes out as you sink as low as you possibly can, butt sliding off the chair entirely, your lower back now supporting your weight. “Hey!” he calls to you, patting his palm against the wooden desk to cut through your groan. “It’s not that bad. Get back up here.” He’s still trying not to laugh.

“Easy for you to say,” you mumble, but push yourself back up in your seat. “I need another drink.” You reach out to pour yourself another and Steve picks up his beer bottle.

“You can just count it as another thing you and I have in common.” You stop pouring. He says it so simply, takes a swig of his beer so casually and yet there’s a glimmer in his eye that reflects the dirty place he sends your mind spiraling into.

You thought he’d been teasing you, pushing your buttons. You never once thought it might be something he also liked. And if he didn’t know about your dirty little secret kink when he said it, had he said it for his own pleasure? Your stomach starts knotting inside of you and it’s getting uncomfortably warm.

“That’s… good to know.” It’s not a good response, but your mind can’t come up with anything else. The tension between you is thick and light as a fucking marshmallow and you swear it tastes just as sweet.

Neither of you speak for a time and neither of you look away. His eyes hold yours, dare you to make a move, to cross the line. You stare back, but barely seeing him as your mind runs wild imagining just how he would react if you called him Daddy and desperately trying to figure out how you can slip that into any future interactions.

He can clearly see you’re daydreaming, but he still says nothing. He just watches as your eyes come and go, enjoying the way your tongue occasionally darts out to wet your lips and the flush that’s forming near your collarbone. You take a deep, slow breath to refocus yourself and calm your heart that you didn’t realize is pounding in your chest.

He rests his fist under his chin, turns it so he can run his pinky finger over his bottom lip, making you wonder just how soft his lips would be and how roughly he’d press them to you. He looks as though he’s about to say something, but you’ll never know what because the buzzing of his phone vibrating on the desk breaks the spell. He looks at it and then regretfully back at you.

“I have to take this,” he admits. You wave your hand and shake your head a little too wildly.

“Go, go!” He swipes the phone from the desk and has it to his ear before he’s out of his chair and leaving the room. Everything comes crashing back down on you and the lustful heat just feels like sticky sweat now.

You swallow your drink in one gulp and retire to your room before he gets back.

---

Your hands are buried in the dirt, trying to dig a hole deep enough for the damned blueberry bush, but every time you think you’ve found the right spot, you hit giant rocks. Who the hell decided giant rocks should litter the ground where you would unexpectedly be trying to plant things? Try to do some good in the world you told yourself. It’ll be fun you told yourself.

“You better fucking grow after this ordeal,” you hiss at the bush. Although it wasn’t even a bush yet. It’s a stem and roots that’ll take over a year to produce berries. Stupid damn garden.

You’d started it two years ago. There was a patch of land in back of your apartment building that was getting overgrown and you were at the point where you needed a project, something to do. Growing some vegetables and herbs and flowers seemed like a good idea. Get into the dirt with your hands and make something. Grow something. Share something. Of course, you had no idea what in the hell you were doing so it took over a year for you to produce a vegetable that was larger than your finger. It’s a pain in the ass and plants are finicky as fuck, but despite your moaning and complaining, it works. It feels good.

“If you don’t grow, I’m going to rip you apart with my hands and then find a chipper to run you through,” you threaten as you pick it up to gently place it in its hole.

“I thought gardening was supposed to be soothing,” Steve’s voice comes from behind you. “Kind of like yoga or something.” You turn your head to pass him a glare.

“Maybe intimidating plants is soothing to me.” You turn back to your bush and fill the hole in with dirt before pushing up off your knees and standing. “What are you doing here?”

“What? Can’t visit my friend?” he teases. You take off your gardening gloves, hot hands feeling a rush of cool when they hit fresh air. You toss the gloves into your bag of tools on the ground and cock your hip out.

“You never come see me in the garden unless it’s important or unless you want more cucumbers,” you call him out. “And seeing as how you just got a batch of cucumbers from me, I don’t think that’s what you’re here for.” You bring your hand to your forehead to shade your eyes so you can stop squinting at the setting sun and see him a little better. He’s leaning his shoulder up against the brick wall of the building, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“I’ve got to cancel this weekend,” he says with a hint of regret. You can feel yourself start to deflate a little. “There’s an older gentleman in the support group who needs an escort upstate. I won’t be back until late Sunday.”

“You would abandon me for something noble,” you accuse in a teasing manner. Lowering your hand from your face, you take a few steps towards him.

This weekend was your annual ice cream fest, as you affectionately called it. Once a year, you gather as much ice cream as you can both handle and devour it like children at a sleepover. It had originated from early on; a drunken night in which you needed consoling. Steve thought ice cream seemed the perfect thing to help you out and it kind of just stuck. It’s something you look forward to every year now.

“When are you leaving?” you ask.

“Tonight,” he says, confirming there’s no hope for salvaging the weekend.

“Well, shit.” You manage to say it in a somewhat humorous tone, trying to make it clear you aren’t angry with him for canceling.

“We can binge next weekend,” he offers quickly. A couple more steps and you find yourself next to him, leaning your back up against the same wall, using his shadow as a shield from the sun as the rough brick scratches into your shoulders.

“I don’t know if that’s going to cut it, Rogers,” you tease. “My broken heart isn’t so easily mended.” He cracks a smile and leans in closer to you.

“What ever can I do to make it up to you?” he inquires in jest. He slips his hands out of his pockets and pushes his shoulder off the wall, coming into your personal space. You make a show of biting your lip and him-hawing as you roll your eyes upwards to look at the sky in mock thought. “You tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.” He’s using that tone suddenly; the dark and dirty one that threatens to undo you. He shifts so he’s in front of you, places each of his palms on the brick, one on each side of your waist. “Anything you want, babygirl.”

Your eyes snap back to his and that lip bite you’ve been doing loses its falsity. Your pelvis inches off the wall, gravitating to him and causing you to actively pull it back. You’re so focused on your hips that you don’t catch your hand reaching out for him and taking hold of his sweater in the middle of his chest. You play it off with a laugh and unfurl your fingers free of the fabric, instead giving him a pat.

“That’s just mean,” you chuckle. “Playing on a girl’s fantasy like that.” His lips tilt upwards and he leans ever so slightly into your touch when you don’t take it away immediately.

“Well maybe one day we won’t be just playing with it.” You catch the look of longing in his eyes as your throat closes up and nearly chokes you on air. It’s taking everything you have not to melt into a fleshy puddle at his feet. You want to say yes, fucking beg him to make good on that, but you can barely breathe let alone speak. He reaches up with one hand and twists a small bundle of your stray hair around his fingers. “I miss you when I’m gone,” he says softly, the dirty tone gliding away and making way for something softer.

“I miss you too.” Your voice is dry, a stark contrast to the way the skin on your throat is wet with sweat and heated with a blush. You swallow and try to speak a little more clearly, but he beats you to it.

“We deserve to be happy too, you know.” It’s what he tells his support groups, the same line he’s been using for at least the last year and a half in order to help people move forward. And yet, it doesn’t sound rehearsed. You slip your hand from his chest up to his shoulder.

“Do you really believe that?” There’s hesitation. A struggle. He sighs and it’s ragged. He twirls your hair a little more, distracted.

“I’m trying to,” is his honest reply. It’s such an easy thing to tell other people, but to convince yourself when you were the ones fighting the battle, when you’re the ones who lost? The ones who got your best friends, your loved ones turned to ash? Not as easy to believe. “I want to believe it.” He leans down, rests his forehead on yours. “I’m ready to try at least.”

It’s hard to focus. The setting sun is beating down on half your face, heating your skin and nearly blinding one of your eyes. The twirl of his fingers pulls so gently on your hair that it could practically lull you to sleep. At some point your hand had slipped up towards the back of his neck and you can feel the ends of the hair on the nape of his neck on your fingertips. Your hand itches to slide up over his head and pull him down to you. But when you close your eyes, you see Bucky’s disappointed face reflecting back to you.

“Do you think he’d want us to be happy?” you whisper. Do you think he’d give his blessing for us to fuck? But no, that isn’t right. It’s more than that, isn’t it? It wouldn’t be a hookup. It wouldn’t be a one-time thing. It would be real. Is that supposed to make it better? There’s a long pause before he answers.

“Does it really matter anymore?” A bitter and defeated chuckle follows his words. He’s tired. You can see it in his eyes. Tired of worrying about right and wrong. Tired of wanting and not having. Tired of not letting himself be happy. He’s so close and you want to give in, want to pull him down and press your lips to his and tell him to hell with everyone and everything. But you just can’t shake Bucky’s image from your mind.

“Steve,” you pause, voice cracking. “I-”

“I know,” he cuts you off gently and sighs pulling his head off of yours. He’s disappointed, but not surprised. “But if and when you’re ready, just know I’m here.” As he steps back, he lets his hand graze over your hip and it leaves a tingle in its wake. He leaves you with a smile and a promise to be back soon and it takes you quite a few minutes to get yourself off that brick wall and back to work.

Tears silently fall down your face tonight, every molecule of you feeling torn. He’d broached the line, held out his hand and offered for you to go with him. If you’re honest, you never actually thought the day would come. Sure, you’d dreamed of it, yearned for it, but it was always so unreachable. And now he’d just… offered it to you. Yet he did it in such a way that you could ignore it. You could pretend it never happened and just stay as you are. The question is; do you want to?

---

It’s weeks later and you’ve barely seen him. A mixture of work, personal responsibilities, and exhaustion making your schedules clash against each other. There’s been a couple phone calls, a few texts, and brief meetings with fellow teammates, but no one-on-one time appropriate to broach his proposal.

It hasn’t stopped you from thinking about it, dreaming about it and then tearing yourself apart for doing so. Honestly though, your self-depreciation is starting to feel a little forced. There’s the smallest shift from feeling guilty for wanting Steve to feeling guilty for not feeling guilty. It still leaves the black hole in your stomach in the morning, but it’s different.

You’re shuffling papers around in the office because, yes, paperwork does still matter, when Natasha comes in. You give her a smile as she sheds her jacket and comes to stand across from you, leaning her hands on the back of a chair.

“Doing okay today?” she asks tentatively. You don’t even look up from the report you’re trying to read.

“Yeah, but could someone teach Rocket some penmanship if he’s going to make notes on these?” It’s only partially a joke. You’re turning the paper in your hands and squinting your eyes trying to make sense of his chicken scratch. When you glance up, you expect to see a smile on her face, but there isn’t even a trace of one and her eyes are analyzing you. “Are you okay?” you question back.

“Yeah,” There’s a look of subtle surprise on her face with a simple raise of her eyebrows as she straightens up and crosses her arms over her chest. “I guess I’m still just tiptoeing around some things. I thought today would be hard for you.” Your brow knits together. Today? Why would today be hard? Hell, what is today? It’s Wednesday. It’s summertime. It’s… Fuck. Your face drops. “You forgot, didn’t you?” It’s gentle and nonjudgmental. “That’s actually good,” she tries to reassure. “Moving on and whatnot.”

You throw your face into your hands, dropping the reports on the table. You’re honestly not sure what you’re feeling. You forgot your anniversary. Your anniversary! You’d forgotten it plenty of times before and it wasn’t like it was your real anniversary either. You and Bucky had just picked a random date out of obligatory social construct after realizing you had no idea when you’d actually gotten together. After The Snap it hit you a little differently though with the last couple stinging you sharply and causing bad days. Not this year apparently.

“I’m an awful girlfriend,” you groan through your palms.

“Sweetie, I hate to break it to you,” Natasha offers softly, but with a small sense of humor hidden in her voice. “You’re not his girlfriend anymore.”

You take a deep breath and it shakes. When you squeeze your eyes shut behind your hands, you can feel tears make their way through you. You use the heels of your palms to rub them away. She watches it hit you; the emotions, the guilt, the tearing apart and she walks around the table to put her hand on your shoulder. It’s a small touch but it’s friendly and grounding and it makes you feel more comfortable.

“Maybe it’s time to let him go. Let them all go,” she suggests. “It’s been more than three years now.” Some days it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. You bring your hands back to the papers on the table and pretend to watch them. “No one would blame you for moving on.” She gives your shoulder a squeeze before shifting away and leaning her lower back onto the table edge next to you. There’s a brief hesitation before she speaks again. “No one would judge you for who you moved on to either.” You look up sharply at her and she averts her eyes to the floor.

“Are you implying something?” you sound a little angrier than you are. No one’s ever acknowledged this thing between you and Steve before, so the instinctive defense kicks in.

“Look, it’s not like you two are subtle with the constant flirting.” She’s doing that thing she does where she’s giving you the answers straight, but her voice is soft. It works to help dissolve the anger. “Hell, there’s a bet going around on when you’ll finally hook up.” You’re not sure if you’re more embarrassed or humored by that piece of information.

“Where’s Rocket’s bet at?” you ask, deciding to go with the humor. “I can’t let that little bastard win.” Natasha cracks a smile at you.

“He’s running the betting pool so he actually wins it all if you don’t hook up.” She chuckles as you groan and lean back in your chair.

“Well shit,” you say. “I guess I have to sleep with Steve now.” You both take a moment to laugh at the notion, letting any remaining tension about the conversation float away. When the smiles and the laughs settle, you give a small sigh. “I just feel like the worst person in the world,” you admit. “What kind of woman falls for the supposed love of her life’s best friend?”

“There are worse things that a woman could do. Trust me.” Her words are true, but don’t do much to dull your pain. “It’s not fair to hold yourself to past commitments. We’ve gone through an unprecedented event. There’s not a rule book on what’s right and wrong here.” You peek up at her with a tilt of your head.

“You sound like Steve at his support groups.” She squints her eyes and then cringes, bringing her shoulders up to her ears.

“Oh god, I do, don’t I?” You both laugh again. “Alright, take out all the sentimental therapy bullshit,” she retracts with a smile as she drops her arms and pushes herself away from the table. “Just let yourself be happy.” She walks back around the table to grab her jacket off the chair. “Besides,” she adds before leaving. “Can’t let that raccoon win.”

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers imagine #marvel #marvel imagine

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mochideleche · 4 years

Text

you can’t keep away from fate | CH1

Pairing : Percy jackson x demigod!reader

summary : The daughter of destiny- literally, along with inevitability, compulsion and necessity. Being the child of a primordial goddess doesn’t really assure you a quiet calm life but when you return to new york after five years of being shipped off to boarding school, your once mundane life says goodbye.

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A/N I’ve been wanting to write this for quite some time so here it is! this is going to be quite a long fanfic so i’ll have the parts linked in each post when they’re ready. (p.s the pov’s might change from yours to percy’s just because some parts of the story will seem better that way) enjoy!

It took about 2 weeks to convince your father to let you tag along with him to his business trip to new york. You were certain he would never comply but after you pulled your ‘puppy eyes’ and ‘it’s been 5 years’ cards, he grudgingly agreed.

So for one week only you said goodbye to your sophisticated private boarding school and you were off to america, the current central of western civilisation- in other words, the land of the gods.

Once in New york, your father had let you roam around on your own which surprised you a lot. You’d had expected him to get one of his assistants to babysit you but you both knew deep down that you were rather capable of taking care of yourself- wether that was being kidnapped or attacked by a monster, or both.

Before you left he made sure that you were wearing your mother’s bracelets, two pearl and diamond encrusted items which could extend into long elegant swords by the flick of your wrists. You didn’t use them on the regular so it felt foreign to you, the last time you had used them was when you lived with you mum.

Your mum wasn’t exactly a sore subject, yeah sure, she had sent you off to live with your father at the age of eleven and then disappeared off the face of the earth without any trace or any goodbye to anyone- which you guessed wasn’t exactly difficult for a goddess, but you knew it was for the better. She’d wanted you to live an as normal life as you could, keep you out of harms way- but that was wishful thinking. Being her daughter, you would never get a normal life.

Even though northern europe didn’t exactly host a load of monsters, unless you were near the mediterranean, and you had lived like any other mortal- you knew that was sure to end, someone or something would find you one way or another.

and by coming to new york, standing in front of the empire state building, was exactly how you’d ended it.

Your father hadn’t exactly said you were forbidden to go there, but it was an unspoken rule that didn’t exactly needed saying. It was just like your father not choosing to state you weren't allowed to commit mass murder but you knew not to do it anyway.

You stared at the building, you had an itch to go inside; maybe just to see who was manning the lobby- but you knew you wouldn’t be allowed up, would you? it would be a very bad idea to go up. You wondered if olympus still looked the same.

It sometimes made you angry that you were tossed out of there five years ago, even though there were valid reasons as to why, but you couldn’t be blamed, after all- it was where you were born.

......

It was one of those days where percy wished nothing would interrupt a lovely day with his friends. But when those friends are a satyr and a demigod you can’t really expect nothing to go wrong.

Annabeth and grover had come down from camp half blood to spend the some time with percy which was the very thing he had been looking forward to this entire week, him and his two best friends enjoying pizza at the best place in the whole city. But in the mid way of their lunch, grover paused, a look of shock painted on his face. “What is is?” Percy asked, looking around for any threats, his hand clasping on riptide in his pocket.

“It’s a demigod- i think” Grover muttered the last part, then his shocked face turned to fear.

“What, grover what is it? What do you mean you think it’s a demigod?” Annabeth questioned, but grover continued to nervously shake his head.

“And a monster” Grover started to panic, “There’s a monster, there’s obviously a monster-i could sense them from a mile away” he rambled and annabeth and percy shared a look of confusion.

Percy didn’t know why grover was in such a state of shock, he’d sensed demigods being followed by monsters all the time and never had he panicked like this- something was wrong and for about the millionth time this week, percy just wished he was normal.

“Do you know where they are?” Percy questioned, already standing up, annabeth following in suit.

Grover looked up with them with scared eyes, “uh yeah, but we aren’t following them are we?” he asked, picking up percy’s empty coke can and nervously chewing it.

“Yes we are” Annabeth and percy said in unison, and grover slumped.

“Alright then, let’s go fight a monster”

It wasn’t long till Grover had lead them down a few blocks and stopped in in the middle of the street, facing the other side with his legs shaking so hard, he could barely keep his crutches straight.

“There” he said, not pointing or giving any gesture to show who he was looking at but percy knew immediately who he meant.

There, walking hurriedly was a petite girl, with long caramel hair dressed in a thin black army jacket, jeans and a grey tube top. gods you were pretty. You practically made percy breathless and almost forget that you had a monster following you somewhere.

You glanced back quickly then turned your attention back to the road but not before your eyes landed on the three of them. You put them all in a state of shock, it was like you could tell they were watching you, it was like you knew what they were.

Percy watched you take an intake of breath like you were going to say something, but you turned your head and disappeared into the new york crowd. But before percy could think about what had happened, Grover shrieked and hid behind annabeth and percy could see exactly why.

Lumbering slowly through the crowd was a giant, with pudgy skin seeping in places and wearing nothing but a loincloth. He walked through the mortals and nobody acted like they could see him, whatever they saw the giant as through the mist, it must’ve been normal.

“What’s that thing doing here?” Annabeth hissed, and she immediately made her way to cross the street, percy followed after her and after a short pause, so did grover.

They followed the giant, which wasn’t exactly hard, through the busy flow of people. They knew they had to kill the giant but they couldn’t do so in the middle of the street filled with mortals. And just after a couple of blocks the street began to empty, leaving the three of them with a clear view of you and the giant in front of them.

But you suddenly ducked into a side road which made percy curse.

The giant would have no problem trying to kill you now.

The giant seemed to take this in too, he looked around the street just to check there weren’t any others planning to duck into the alleyway and followed you in.

The three of them ran.

Percy had already uncapped riptide, taking the lead of the chase, he couldn’t imagine what the giant would do, he had to save you- quickly.

But as he turned the corner, it seemed like you didn’t need saving.

Somehow you had thrown yourself onto the giants head, your legs chocking the giant as he aimlessly tried to swat you away like some bug that annoyed him. He dangerously swayed side to side, threatening to smash you into the narrow set walls either side of you.

“Tell me who you're working for!” you shouted, a slight accent perking your voice.

it made you all the more cuter, percy thought.

“Who sent you!” you screamed, hands pulling up on the giants ears causing it to yell out in pain.

“You shall die!” the giant bellowed but it didn’t phase you.

You rolled your eyes, you seemed bored and tired of this monsters bull crap and with one hand you made a gesture as if you were pulling a string away from the giants nose and the monster began to cough.

Then it stood still, eyes wide and then- it exploded into ashes.

And that left you sitting on nothing, so you fell towards the floor.

Percy acted before he could think and ran under you, arms spread out and in a split second, you landed in his arms.

“Oh-” you said, shocked, staring at the dark haired boy whose arms you were laying in, “hello”

His sea green eyes shifted awkwardly to the side for a second before returning back to you again, “ uhm, hi”

smooth percy, smooth.

The two of you looked at each other, faces inches apart. None of you spoke and just looking at your coffee coloured eyes made percy’s heart beat erratically, but the fact that you were there in his arms made his heart burst it’s way out of his chest.

Percy gulped, you smiled at him.

“ahem” annabeth coughed, and percy turned to see the two of his best friends with smug grins of their faces, “ sorry to bother but she was just attacked by a giant”

“More like the giant was attacked by her” grover said a sheepish smile on his face, amazed by the mystery girl’s unexpected ability.

“You can put me down now,” you said quietly, patting percy’s chest to which his awkwardly mumbled out a ‘right, sorry’ and set you down gingerly beside him.

Percy could hear the sniggers from behind him and it made him even more flustered. gods he was going to kill the both of them.

“How did you do that? I mean, you barely did anything and the giant died” Annabeth questioned, adoration and confusion lacing her voice as she approached you.

“Oh, i uhm,” you stuttered, tucking your hair behind your ear, “i made him stop breathing”

“by strangling him?” percy asked and you shook your head with a small smile.

“No, i stopped the air from entering his lungs” you replied innocently as if you were saying “i asked him if how his day was”

Percy’s mouth fell open, “you what?!”

“So you can manipulate air?” Annabeth asked and you nodded.

“Wait you’re definitely a demigod right? not some sort of sorceress or minor goddess” Grover questioned, still shocked at the fact that you had defeated that giant so easily.

You laughed, “i’m no goddess, just a demigod”

well you sure looked like a goddess, percy thought, had a laugh like one too and had the power of one, he wasn’t even sure he could defeat a 7ft giant with no weapon.

“I’m annabeth, this is grover and this is percy” Annabeth introduced, hand stretched out in greeting, you shook it and gave them a large smile.

“I’m Y/N”

The more he stared at you, the more details he seemed to take in, how your hair was actually dyed- your black roots appearing at the crown of your head, how your jacket was two sizes too big and how it draped slightly on one shoulder, how perfectly manicured your nails were.

could you be anymore attractive?

“So do you know who your godly parent is?” Annabeth asked and you nodded but you didn’t expand on the question and it was obvious to the three of them that you weren’t too keen on sharing information to 3 strangers.

“If you want, we could take you back to a safe place, it’s for demigods, it’s called camp half blood” Annabeth coaxed, and percy knew she was trying to recruit the you.

These were desperate times and camp half blood needed all the help it could get.

“Camp half blood? oh! i know that place!” you said excitedly- throwing the three of them into shock.

“You do?” percy asked, and you nodded your head.

“My father went there, he was a son of Hephaestus”

If it was possible, this put the three in even more shock.

“You’re father was a halfblood?” percy asked amazed. It was known that once demigods got older they would leave camp and try to make a life for themselves, but at that moment it seemed so impossible to even survive after 16 that percy found the idea so foreign.

“How come you didn’t go to camp half blood then?” grover asked.

“I don’t live in america” you explained, which was rather evident from your accent but now that it was stated, percy didn’t have to assume.

“Well i think chiron would really want to meet you, he might have known your dad” Annabeth said, leading you out of the alleyway as you two talked.

Percy was left staring at our back, grover stood next to him.

“you know, you could try talking to her rather than just ogling at her” Grover snickered and without a word percy punched him.

#percy jackson #heroes of olympus #percy x reader #percy jackson x reader #annabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson and the heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the gods of olympus #percy jackson imagine #percy jackson fanfiction #percy #demigod!reader

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fullmetalscullyy · 3 years

Text

the way it was - chapter 37

summary: what if riza never went to war? riza hawkeye has just married the man she loves. six months into their marriage, an unexpected surprise stops her from following roy to the military. a canon divergence au that explores what might have happened had riza been unable to join the military. there will be plenty of family fluff, angst, and royai.

rated: m | warnings: no archive warning apply

read on ao3

1915

i can only tell you how it, how it looks from here

i think you've made up your mind

Everything about this room set Riza’s nerves on edge. The glaring white walls were bright enough to give her a headache. The decaying body across from them, surrounded by pieces of smashed armour, was creating a stench strong enough to make her gag. Riza pressed a hand against her mouth and nose, stifling it as best she could. It didn’t help much. The smell still made her stomach lurch.

Aside from the foreboding atmosphere of the room, the smirking homunculus at the other end was making her skittish. That was the same one who’d tried to kidnap her earlier, probably to use her against Roy. When they’d first set eyes on Riza, Envy flashed her a smile with teeth fully on show. It was unsettling.

“Nice to see you again, Riza,” they’d sneered at her.

In response Riza lifted her gun higher, aiming down sights to settle it upon their face.

It had been a while since she’d fired a gun. Riza wasn’t sure if she had it in her to shoot to kill someone, but she would do her utmost to protect those she loved. The wounds didn’t need to kill, just hinder, and slow them down. The thought settled uncomfortably in her gut but Riza was not naïve. The homunculi wouldn’t go easy on her just because she was a civilian. When it came down to it, she had her children and her husband to fight for. She’d fight to survive for them. Growing up she’d learned how to survive from a young age and had been forced into doing what needed to be done far too soon. Now would be no different. If they threatened to kill her, kill her family, then she’d fight back. There was no question about it. The weight and consequences of any actions would be dealt with later.

After Envy’s welcome party Roy stepped up close behind her. He placed his hand gently upon her hip to garner her attention.

“Stay close,” he murmured in her ear, before moving around her, placing himself between her and Envy.

He didn’t know just how much comfort that action provided.

Even half shielded from view, Riza never relaxed. Her gun lowered so it wouldn’t be pointed at the back of Roy’s head, but her muscles were still coiled tightly and ready to react at a moment's notice. She didn’t let her guard down.

“Got your back,” Riza replied quietly.

Still facing away, Roy’s head bobbed once. Taking that as a sign he acknowledged her, Riza turned her gaze to the rest of the room. Her eyes skipped between everyone in front of her, making sure Edward was all right.

The strap of the rifle Breda had presented to her threatened to slip off her shoulder, so Riza shrugged it back into a comfortable place. She didn’t see the need for her to have two weapons however she had to admit, she did feel more comfortable with the rifle. That was what she’d grown up with and it was a comfort to know her preferred weapon wasn’t far away. Not that she wanted a weapon at all, but Riza knew these people could very easily kill her. She didn’t want to be left defenceless. Not when she had two children waiting for her to come home.

Finally, returning to the conversation, Riza turned her attention to Envy. They smirked maddeningly and Riza’s stomach twisted.

“Congratulations, Colonel Mustang. You’ve finally hunted down your culprit.”

Her stomach dropped.

Envy’s body glowed bright red, changing and morphing into -

Gracia.

They’d… They’d killed Maes… Using Gracia’s face...

The gun in Riza’s hands dipped to point at the floor with her shock. Riza didn’t even realise. She was too stuck on the revelation that this was the person who’d killed one of her dearest friends. They’d taken a loving father away from a child, left a woman widowed… Made him think his own wife had killed him -

“That’s enough.”

Bile crawled its way up Riza’s throat, but it stalled when she saw Roy move. Her head snapped to face him, seeing his whole body shaking with…

Rage.

Gloves were tightened over his hands and all Riza wanted to do was reach out, place a hand on his shoulder, and jerk him back, out of reach of Envy. Anything to break his concentration. Envy was taunting Roy, playing with him, and it caused Riza’s fear to skyrocket. Roy had already been volatile enough about this topic of conversation at home. He didn’t need to be teased further about Maes’ murderer. But Riza was frozen in place. Her brain was still trying to process that this was who’d murdered Maes Hughes.

Roy walked toward Envy so Riza lifted her gun, training it on Envy’s form now that Roy had stepped out of her line of fire. She swallowed thickly, past the lump in her throat.

“This one is mine, and mine alone.”

Her breath caught, eyes nervously shifting over to look at Roy again.

Please… Please don’t do anything reckless, she pleaded inside her head.

“Mrs. Mustang, do you really think the two of you -?”

“Edward, go.” She shifted her grip on the gun. The day was not won, and they still had a job to do. Edward still had his own goals to achieve. “You’ve got somewhere to be.”

“Are you sure?”

“She said go, Elric,” Roy snapped.

Riza frowned at the back of his head, affronted by his tone. Still, she wanted Edward out of here. Riza felt the same way about the young girl standing by Scar too. She was sure they were more than capable, but her maternal instinct was clawing its way to the surface. She could handle Roy, and they had somewhere better to be.

They walked by without incident. Envy glared as they passed but made no move to stop the group. Their tongue was still smoking after Roy had snapped earlier, burning it to stop them from talking.

“You go too -”

“She’s not getting to leave,” Envy sneered. “No,” they smirked, “I think she can stay here with you and watch how you work, Colonel.” Envy snickered to themselves and Riza’s stomach twisted uncomfortably.

Before Roy could open his mouth to reply there was a deafening crack of energy.

The pistol fell limp by her side. Riza’s mouth parted in complete shock, brain struggling to comprehend what was in front of her.

Envy had changed shape completely. The massive form of a green… She didn’t even know what to class it as. It was no beast she knew of, more a culmination of numerous beings all mashed together into one. The human bodies and faces that pressed out from the green skin almost made her vomit. It would be naïve to think they weren’t real people stuck inside there but… Riza couldn’t help but hope beyond hope. A foolish hope, but enough to keep her sane for the moment. It was enough to keep her breakfast in her stomach and stop the horror from keeping her completely frozen in place.

Her fear about running from the imposter at her front door was validated in that moment. Initially she’d been compliant so she could avoid any kind of conflict as the homunculus’ powers were unknown. Seeing this new form in front of her Riza was really damn glad she hadn’t fought it. Those massive paws could end her life in one playful swipe.

“I’ll give you the fight you’re looking for Colonel, seeing as you’ve been so relentless in your search for Hughes’ killer. However, I can’t exactly tread lightly in this body so you better -”

Envy’s eyes erupted into flames. Riza balked at the show, their howl of agony slicing through her entire body and making her shudder.

“What’s it like having the fluid inside of your eyes boil? I’d imagine it might sting a little,” Roy stated coldly.

Riza turned to look at her husband. Dread prickled over her skin, lifting the hairs on her arms, and turning her blood to ice. Horror roiled inside her chest, squeezing her heart painfully and making her break out in a cold sweat.

Enraged, Roy didn’t relent on his assault and Riza could only watch on, terrified.

This was the power she’d unleashed upon the world. These flames had ravished the desert, razing it, and destroying everything in its path. Riza was well aware of this, had discussed it with Roy years ago, but had never seen it at work.

“I think she can stay here with you and watch how you work, Colonel.”

Envy had already known of Roy’s destructive power.

Shortly after they were married, he’d playfully lit the fireplace with it, used it to light the gas on the cooker – sometimes with almost disastrous results – but after Ishval the gloves were neatly tucked away inside a drawer and were never brought out except for when he went to work. He never wore them again inside their home, taking his time to coax a fire from the coals on their hearth, or almost burn his fingers with a match.

This was the power that had torn him apart once before, it was threatening to do it again.

Riza couldn’t let that happen.

Envy’s massive form shifted, their tail swinging to hit the wall beside them. The force of it blasted rock towards Roy and Riza’s heart lifted into her throat.

“Roy!”

His hands lifted to in front of his face to try and shield it, but she lost sight of him as more stone flew by and dust filled the room. Riza crouched low, feeling grains of stone scrape gently across her hands as she covered her head. Luckily, she was out of range of Envy’s attack.

“You coward!” Roy barked.

She heard footsteps against the stone floor, running. As the dust cleared she saw her husband running towards the door Edward had walked through, and Envy was nowhere to be seen.

“Roy, wait!”

She was desperate. Riza took a step towards him. She’d heard the fury in his voice, saw the inferno of hate inside his eyes before he’d attacked Envy. In her mind she was silently begging Roy not to run headfirst into something he’d regret. But she never got a chance to voice it aloud.

“You stay here where it’s safe,” he called over his shoulder, running towards the door. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I’m going to take care of Envy myself,” he spat.

She hated hearing the fury in his voice. That wasn’t the Roy she knew. This wasn’t the doting father who laughed and cherished his children. Riza knew his time in the military hadn’t been sunshine and roses. It had been difficult and cruel, but this was something else entirely. He was changing, teetering on the edge of morphing into… into a monster. If pushed enough he just might. The realisation of it cut deep into her chest, making it ache as she exhaled.

Her shoulders slumped as she stared after his retreating form. She felt momentarily helpless –

Riza frowned. As if she would stay and let him run off to fight Envy alone. The irritation and anger she’d felt festering during their last argument about him seeking revenge and justice came hurtling back. He was losing it, but he’d already said he didn’t want to become a monster again. Riza wouldn’t let him.

The pistol was gripped tightly in her palm. Riza started moving and picked up her pace to a run. Her gun was cocked and ready.

As she walked through the tunnels she’d heard the explosions, heard Envy’s distant screams. Riza was on high alert. The blasts and the screaming eventually stopped but she wouldn’t let her guard down until she knew for certain Envy had been defeated. The sudden lack of them made her wonder if Roy had already defeated and delivered his justice to Envy, but she held onto the slim hope that maybe they’d just escaped. She clung to it desperately.

Footsteps were approaching her current position. They were in the hallway ahead, heavy but steady as they walked. Ducking, she hurried as quietly as she could to the opening where the tunnel she was in opened up into another. Gun poised and ready, she waited for whoever was approaching to come into view.

At the last second, Riza spun out and swung her gun, lifting it so it came face to face with -

Roy.

She blinked at him, surprised to have seen him so soon. Her shoulders fell with relief and realisation but paused when she saw the dark look in his eyes. His stare was hard as he looked down on her.

A seed of doubt planted itself into her mind when he remained, poised to snap at her, for a moment longer. He should have recognised her right away...

Was this…

Unless he thought she was Envy.

“I told you to stay behind, Riza.” Roy straightened his posture and lowered his hand to his side. His hand relaxed and went limp.

“I wasn’t going to let you face this alone. I already told you that.”

Riza thought he might argue with her, stating it wasn’t safe down here, but he just scoffed quietly and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Where’s Envy?” She rose to her feet and lowered her pistol but didn't loosen her grip.

“They outran me.” He turned away from her, speaking into the empty tunnel. “This place is like a labyrinth. You might as well help me kill them now that you’re here. Stay right by my side, Riza,” he ordered over his shoulder. “Don’t leave it.”

Without another word, Roy walked off, leaving her to stare after him.

That seed of doubt was putting down roots and sprouting slowly within her mind.

Riza started to walk behind him. He didn’t even acknowledge her.

“You might as well help me kill them”. That didn’t sit well with Riza at all.

I don’t want to get you involved. He’d told her that, adamant about that fact, when she’d offered to help Winry after she’d had a run in with Scar. He’d begged her to stop pushing for her own safety, as well as their unborn child’s.

I didn’t intend for this to happen. He’d been miserable as he reassured her of that on their couch after his meeting with Bradley. And it was me that put you in harm’s way.

This isn’t over, he’d vowed after seeing that Pride had hurt her. I swear my life on it.

Roy had never wanted her to get her involved in anything relating to his work. He’d even fought to share his plans for the day with her, stating the less she knew the better. However, she’d managed to wear him down and it had helped him to talk it through with someone, rather than shoulder it all by himself.

Before running off after Envy he’d even told her to stay where it was safe. That he didn’t want her to get hurt. Why would he invite her to help him kill Envy, when he knew that was the opposite of what Riza wanted him to do?

This was not her husband.

Riza lifted her pistol towards Roy’s head. She let out a quiet breath, ignoring the horrible imagery of pointing a gun at her husband, poised to kill.

He stopped, turning to half face her. His fringe was almost hiding his eyes, but his expression never changed. It was the same steely one he’d worn earlier when he didn’t lower his hand, despite realising it was her around the corner.

It was possible he was just being cautious but his command to help him kill Envy was what settled it for Riza.

Slowly, Roy turned back around and lifted his hands in surrender. “Do you know who your gun is pointed at?”

Riza scoffed. “Who? Don’t make me laugh. When we’re alone, my husband calls me by my maiden name. A throwback, to old times.”

She heard Roy gasp, then jump away in a flash. As he did so, red sparks erupted from his body as it morphed into Envy. “Maiden name?” Envy scoffed. “What kind of weird marriage do you two have -?”

“I lied.”

Riza fired, hitting Envy in the face with her bullet. They cried out in pain, hurtling backwards to crash into the ground. Her stomach lurched with the impact of that first shot, very aware that she’d fired at another ‘human being’. She knew they couldn’t be killed so easily but… It was still jarring.

Just like it had been after her first successful hunt as a child.

Fight to survive, Riza.

Red sparks erupted around Envy’s face, healing the wound she’d just made, repairing skin and muscle insanely fast. It angered Riza that they could heal and repair themself so easily while a friend couldn’t and had been left for dead in a phone booth in the middle of Central.

“It was nice of you to fall for it though, Envy. And now you can do us all the favour of dying.”

Riza fired again and again, almost emptying a clip into the homunculus.

“Ow! That hurts!” Envy yelled at her.

Something very green and sharp shot towards Riza, cutting into the skin of her shoulder faster than she could react. The arm that held her gun jerked out as she ground her teeth together against the pain. The way her body spun from the impact made the rifle strapped to her back lose its grip on her clothing and it slipped down her other arm. Riza caught it quickly, so fast that even she couldn’t believe it, but she was being fuelled by indignation and this being’s carelessness for human life, as well as adrenaline. With that combination, the rifle was caught easily.

Riza’s knees buckled with surprise and the sudden pain in her shoulder. One hit the ground painfully as she steadied herself, getting ready to fire. Despite the rough treatment and the recovery from Envy’s strike, she still managed to hit her target.

Envy’s body jerked with the hit, pushing them back a step with every single one until they dropped to their knees.

“You’re really annoying with that thing!”

Furious, another bolt of green disrupted the stones beneath her feet before shooting up and racing towards Riza. She stood sharply but it was too fast to dodge. It wrapped around her entire body, sealing her arms against her body tightly. It squeezed impossibly tight, restricting her ability to breathe. Gasping for a breath, Riza’s eyes bugged open wide as she was lifted off the ground. Knowing what was coming before it happened should have helped her prepare, but she was too caught off guard. She was still recovering from the sudden lack of oxygen and the pain lancing through her shoulder. She was slammed down into the concrete, the back of her head bouncing sickeningly off the stone. There was a crack as her hair clip broke and let her hair loose. The blonde strands tumbled down her back and over her shoulder, springing free from their restraint.

“I’ll dump you at his feet like a rag!” Envy cackled.

Gasping, Riza lay there as she tried to blink away the spots from her vision. They danced in front of her, but one thing did make its way into her pain addled mind, there was a quiet snap in the distance. It sounded so out of place that it caught her attention. Riza knew what that snap meant.

Envy screamed as Riza felt a sudden heat. Looking down her body Riza saw flames lick at the green appendage holding her still. They stopped far enough down that they wouldn’t harm her, but the sudden rush of flames made the skin of her face heat up.

“Roy,” she cried out, partly with relief and partly to get him to stop.

There was another snap and Envy was consumed by fire. Their screams drowned out Roy’s approach so Riza had no idea where he was.

“What in the hell are you doing to my wife?”

Riza’s head snapped up, blood running cold at the fury she heard in his voice. His face was like thunder as Roy stared Envy down. Glancing over at their enemy, Riza finally saw fear in Envy’s face. They were petrified. They’d made a mistake going after her and now there would be hell to pay.

“Don’t interfere, Riza.” His tone was softer as he spoke to her but that look in his eyes… His rage knew no bounds. “I told you I would deal with this, and I don’t want you to get involved.”

Before she had a chance to reply hell rained down on Envy, like fire and brimstone. Roy snapped and grunting, letting out all of his fury as he sent attack after attack at the homunculus to drain their power. It blew her hair away from her face and the intensity of the heat almost made her turn away.

All Riza could do was stare. She felt numb.

He’s going to kill them. He’s giving into that hatred.

She had to do something. She had to move.

Struggling to her feet was a great effort. Riza felt herself stagger. She was almost knocked backwards by the force of Roy’s alchemy and her head was still spinning from the hit she’d sustained after being slammed into the ground.

After one last ferocious blast Envy’s body started to disintegrate. It crumbled into a charred mess, leaving a tiny green creature in its place. Their voice turned almost child-like as they cursed Roy, crawling away from their own remains with tears in their eyes.

Roy approached and lowered his foot harshly atop Envy’s body. They were squashed underneath his boot, almost crushed completely. Any slight increase in pressure and they’d be dead.

Like hell Riza would let Roy do that to them.

“So this is your true form then?” The growl in his voice almost made Riza sick.

Stop… This isn’t you, Roy… Stop it, please.

“You’re ugly.”

Envy whined, begging for Roy not to do it, just like Riza was in her mind.

“I don’t want to die!” Envy cried desperately, tiny limbs flailing frantically.

It was too much for her to take anymore. Catching herself on the wall, Riza shoved herself so she was standing.

“I’m not giving you a choice. Now burn in hell!”

His fingers snapped together. Riza lifted her weapon, cocking and pointing it at Roy’s head, as her heart broke clean in two.

“Roy!”

Her yell echoed around the tunnel, bouncing off the walls with such clarity even she didn’t expect it. In the lull of the explosions the world sounded eerily quiet. Roy’s quiet gasp filled it once he realised what she was doing. His body stilled, his foot easing slightly on Envy’s body underneath his boot.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His tone was harsh but genuine surprise had seeped into it as well.

“Stop this,” Riza commanded, putting as much authority into her voice as she possibly could. Her gun shook in her hand, the grip slacking. No. She couldn’t let herself slip now. Not after all they’d already been through with this discussion. She wouldn’t let him talk to her like that either. The grip on the gun tightened. “I’ll deal with Envy from here on out.”

“Riza. Lower your weapon,” he ordered with the same authority she’d heard him use with his team at work.

Riza was no soldier and had to follow no such order. She was his wife, she loved him, and she’d made a promise that she’d watch his back and watch out for him always. He’d asked her to do that and she wasn’t about to let him down.

If I lost myself to all of this… That’s not the husband or father I want to be. I don’t want to be a monster again.

I choose you. I choose all three of you. There’s no contest and never has been.

He’d picked his side, that night in the darkened bedroom, and she wasn’t going to let him back out now.

“No. Put your hand down, Roy.”

He scoffed. “I won’t ask you again!” He shouted, almost startling her. He’d never used that tone with her before, never been so angry towards her like this. It didn’t even sound like her husband. The barrel of the gun quivered.

There was the sound of a transmutation and the ground beneath his foot was alchemised, disrupting their conversation. It rose up sharply to throw Roy off balance and send Envy sailing through the air. They were both startled out of their argument by the sudden appearance of Edward Elric and Scar.

Edward plucked Envy out of the air effortlessly, gripping onto them tightly with a scowl on his face.

“Fullmetal.”

Riza’s head turned sharply back to face Roy, noting how much calmer he sounded. But it was all a ruse. He hadn’t changed one bit. The fists at Roy’s side began to shake with his fury. One of his arms extended outwards towards Edward.

“I’ll be taking that.”

Edward was surprised by the request, seemingly unsure for a second. He glanced over at Riza and she shook her head the tiniest fraction.

“That is an order. Give them to me, right now!”

“No, I won’t,” Edward refused and Riza felt herself relax the tiniest amount.

With a controlled movement, Roy’s arm lowered. Alchemic energy still sparked around his gloves, a sign that he hadn’t given up the transmutation yet. He still needed to decide where to direct it.

Not at Edward and Envy, Riza pleaded. She couldn’t take it if he did.

“Elric,” Roy growled. “That thing belongs to me.”

“No they don’t!”

“Give them to me! Or I’ll burn up your hand along with it!” Roy’s hand twisted, pointed towards Edward.

“Roy!” she scolded, outraged that he’d threaten such a thing, and to Edward of all people too.

He’s almost gone, Riza. Do something!

Edward wasn’t one to give in so easily either, though. He interrupted before Riza could recover from her burst of anger. “Try it then!” he goaded, daring him.

Roy fell silent as he and Edward glared at one another in a standoff.

“Think of our children, Roy,” she commanded, trying another way to get through to him. It had worked before so she hoped it would again. Although Riza tried to keep her voice strong, one mention of them almost broke her. Her voice cracked and she was almost pleading with him as she spoke his name. “Remember what you said to me when we discussed this before. Don’t give into this,” she begged. “Remember that you’re letting go for them, as well as yourself.”

“What would Mia ask you to do?” Edward’s voice rang out in the tunnel, adding onto her point.

Roy’s shoulders stiffened and she heard him inhale sharply. “Stay out of this, Fullmetal,” he warned harshly.

“What would Maes ask, huh?” Edward continued on as if he hadn’t heard Roy speak. “What would those kids say to finding out their father gave into anger and hate and killed this homunculus!” Edward was spitting angry, furious that Roy was even considering such an act, but was desperate to get through to him as well. Riza could see it in his eyes. There was fear in them too. “If it were me I certainly wouldn’t want to look at you again!” Edward yelled. “You look like a monster!”

“I know I have no right to tell you what to do, Mustang, but they are correct.” Scar’s deep and calm timbre rolled through the air, settling over Riza, and making her loose another breath from her lungs. Hope swelled within her that maybe the three of them would be able to get through to him together. “You’re a father and you need to set an example. Do not cause any more death than you already have. End this cycle of hatred,” Scar snarled, “do it now. Break the chain. Otherwise you’re no better than a beast and those that have come before you. And I shudder to think what kind of world you will create after you become its ruler with all of that hatred burning inside of you. I dread to think what kind of father you will be.”

Roy’s body stiffened.

“Roy.” She brought his attention back to her. “This is not who you are.” Her voice was controlled as she steadied her weapon. She knew the Roy she loved was still within him but was buried underneath the tumultuous storm of emotions raging within. He had to be. Riza wouldn’t accept anything otherwise.

His shoulders tensed. “Riza… I did it,” he growled. “I finally ran them down and they’re right there. They attacked you –”

“I understand that,” she barked harshly. “I know you did, and I know what happened, but you’re about to do something you’ll regret here and I won’t let you. You’re better than this. I know you’re better. I know the man I love, and he’s not here right now.”

His shoulders jerked up towards his ears.

“This course of action benefits no one. All it will do is hurt the ones you love.” Riza took a deep breath. “This is pure hatred. And I will not let it take you. I already told you that. I already promised I wouldn’t let you do it!” Her cry rang out in the silent hallway.

He was struggling, teetering on the edge, but he was listening to her.

“Would you really shoot me with that gun, Riza?”

Her breath caught tightly in her throat, choking her. What… What was he asking her?

His tone changed completely, along with his body language. His shoulders relaxed and he let out a long breath. He sounded calmer, that edge to his voice gone. He almost sounded defeated.

He still didn't let go of the transmutation though.

“If you’re going to shoot me, shoot me.”

It was just a threat, really. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to kill her husband if he actually went through with this. She was no soldier, had taken no human life, and Riza wasn’t sure if she was emotionally stable enough to hit her target regardless of that.

But would she be able to live on with him, knowing that he’d become the monster he didn’t want to be, but had sought out that path anyway?

“Maybe not,” she admitted quietly.

She’d only been able to target Envy because she knew they wouldn’t die. That first pull of the trigger though… It was jarring, horrifying. When she’d fired a gun before it had been for food, for survival. This fight was a way to try and keep her alive, but she gained nothing from each hit. Just the sickening realisation that she was harming another living thing and gaining nothing from it.

“Maybe I can’t pull that trigger on you.” Despite the turmoil rattling her bones her voice held steady. Sorrow bled into her tone, shoulders dipping as her resolve to point the weapon at him wavered. “I couldn’t do that to you. Couldn’t do that to our children either,” she added, bile rising at the thought of taking their father away from them, regardless of their current conversation.

Memories flashed inside her mind. Roy lifted Mia high in the air, spinning her round as she giggled with glee. Maes’ happy squeals filled the room as Roy blew raspberries on their little boy’s arms, tickling him. Hayate barked happily in their garden as she, Roy, and Mia chased each other in a game of tag on the grass. Little Maes clapped his hands happily as he watched, sitting on Chris’ lap.

Riza clenched her jaw to stave off the sudden tears and keep a hold on her emotions. She wanted that Roy back. She just wanted her husband back.

“But I’m doing what you asked me to do,” Riza replied with more confidence this time. “I’m watching your back. You told me you didn’t want to be a monster again. Don’t give into it. Mia wouldn’t want you too.” Her voice wavered. She cleared her throat to try and shift the lump in it, but it was futile. “Little Maes wouldn’t want you to either. Neither would Big Maes.”

Roy’s head jerked suddenly, no doubt remembering their conversation in the dark in their bed. He’d held her close that night. She remembered pressing a kiss against his throat, feeling his pulse thrum beneath her lips.

“I…” The words stuck in her throat, halting her. They needed to be said because they were true, no matter how much it hurt to think about. She needed to get through to him and the hope that she could was dwindling second by second. “I don’t think I will be able to live on with you if you do go down this path.”

Roy flinched violently.

“I can’t follow you down it. Our family can’t. And I refuse to leave our children behind.”

He let out a choked breath. Suddenly, Roy’s hand jerked out and with a yell, the fire torpedoed down an empty hallway, filling it with heat and his anguish.

He didn’t do it.

Riza had never felt such strong relief in her life. A choked breath left her lungs, stuttering as it passed by her lips. Her knees shook and her pistol trembled in her hand. She almost lost her grip on it.

“I… I can’t afford to lose you. Or them. This madness… Scolded by a child and a man who was once my enemy.”

Roy turned to face her and Riza felt hope blossom tentatively at the look in his eyes. All his hatred was gone. A deep exhaustion had settled over his bones and it showed clearly in his expression. The features of his face drooped, eyes filled with so much regret and agony that Riza almost lost her breath. He was broken, defeated by himself, but he was Roy.

“And you.”

Tears flooded his eyes. Roy’s touch was gentle when it rested upon her gun. His hands were bare, gloves gone. Riza was unsure when that had happened, but it didn’t matter. The fact remained that he’d unequipped his weapon and taken that step away from where he was threatening to fall over the edge.

Riza watched completely mute as they both lowered the gun to her side slowly.

“It almost cost me you. I forced you to go through all of this. I pushed you away. My love,” he breathed, so quietly only she would hear. “My children. I would have lost it all.” Roy cleared his throat, dropping his gaze in shame. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispered. “I did it again. I’m such a fool,” he cursed in disgust, dropping his gaze. He turned to the side as his knees shook. He fell to the ground, finally spent, with his face hidden by his hands.

Relief made her body shudder and tremble. The pistol grew slack in Riza’s hand and dropped to the floor without her realising it. She joined him, kneeling by his side. Pain shot into her kneecaps after she fell, hitting the ground hard enough to make her wince. Her old injury with her fight with Envy flared up but Riza paid it no mind. All of her attention was focussed on the side of her husband’s head. She stared, knowing she wouldn’t be able to discern anything from it, but still looked upon those dark strands as if they would give her all the answers she sought.

Tentatively, Riza reached out. Her hand hovered before the space in between his shoulder blades. It was an action she’d done numerous times when helping him through his low points. She wasn’t sure what his mental state was. She had no way of knowing until she took the first step and made contact. Her fingertips pressed down first, lightly, before the heel of her hand kissed against his back. She watched, saddened, as his shoulders bunched up further at his ears, head dipping down. He was hiding from her.

“Roy?” Her call was apprehensive. She just wanted him to turn and look at her, give her something to go on. But he didn’t.

Shifting on her knees, Riza angled herself around him so she was kneeling by his side. Her hand naturally moved to come to rest on his shoulder. She gave it a squeeze of comfort and encouragement.

“Roy, look at me,” she prompted gently.

Unable to bring himself to, his gaze remained on his feet which were crumpled underneath his body at odd angles.

“Roy.”

It was just enough coaxing. The hand that covered his eyes moved a fraction. His eyes were desolate once they made contact and barely visible as he peeked up at her through a gap, filled with shame and sorrow.

“You didn’t do it,” she reminded him.

“I was close.” His voice was a whisper, only loud enough to reach her ears. “I - I saw you being hurt… And thought about what had happened to Hughes and –” His sigh made his whole body shudder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in a hoarse voice.

Riza gathered him close, placing her cheek against the top of his head. Her arms wrapped around his shaking frame, bringing his face against her chest to hide him from the rest of them. Just for a moment, she wanted it to be just them, to have a tiny moment to themselves so she could get him back on his feet.

“You’re all right for now. You came back to me,” she whispered into his hair, focussing on that fact at the moment. The day was not over so everything else could be left until later when they were alone.

Slowly, hands lifted to her hips and held on. His fingers dug into her sides almost painfully. Then, the arms wrapped around, squeezing her against him. Her fingers ran through his hair as relief made them shake, thankful that for now, the worst of the confrontation was over.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #royai au #the way it was #emma writes #tentatively posts #i used up all my brain cells editing this to the point where idek if its good or makes sense anymore lmaoooo #i will never be able to compete w the mastery of arakawa but i think this is a relatively decent attempt #apologies in advance my dudes

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byunbaekcult · 3 years

Text

i’d tell you i miss you (but i don’t know how)

or the one exboyfriend!calum one shot no one asked for!

CW: mentions of food, minor mentions of mental slump and loss of appetite (tagging just in case ^^)

words: 7159 words

tags: exboyfriend!au, calum hood, (sad attempt) angst

dedicated: @kouchos & ally, my supporters!

i got carried away, and i proofread this like five times at most. ENJOY. scream at me or with me on twitter tho <3 also alternative title was “ it’s time for me to admit that i’m an asshole “ yep, angst. also partly self indulgent, actually majorly sorry imma stop now-

“ Maybe one day, one day you’ll learn to treat a girl right but today is not that day. Neither am I the girl for that. “

The words ring in Calum's head since the day you walked out. It was a huge toll on his pride and ego before he even realised it himself. He was an asshole.

He can’t imagine how difficult it could have been for you to even confront him, knowing how difficult it was for you to make a decision for yourself. Always needing to consider others before your own well-being. If it weren’t for the fact that you broke up with him, he would have been so happy and proud for you. Now, he’s left with regrets and a broken heart.

He only has himself to blame. After all, he was the one who treated you badly. He was the one who took advantage of your love and kindness. It was unimaginable to Calum on how he even ended up that way, but it did happen after all.

It’s been a full year by now, wallowing in self pity and hatred was Calum’s new past time. He’d like to think you’re doing better without him. He’s always known you were strong, independent and an amazing person. He was just dead weight in your life.

You were still healing, learning how to love others more than you love Calum. Deep down though, you knew you’d always want him back. But you didn’t know where he was mentally, emotionally and physically even.

Last you’ve heard, he’d shut out from the world. Occasionally meeting his best friends but never really out and about. Sure, it hurt. It stung and crushed your very being to be the one to make the call but you knew if you didn’t, you’d both be stuck in a constant hell-loop. The toxicity was suffocating and you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore under the weight of it.

So you left.

It felt selfish, you spent several months seeking help and learning to understand your emotions are valid. Learn to stop sabotaging yourself. You’d turn to healthier coping mechanisms, try new things. You’d been apprehensive but you knew if you kept to your old habits, it would only add salt to the wound.

However, you still kept in contact with everyone except for Calum. At first, it was weird. No one really knew where the boundaries really laid but it quickly got resolved once you opened up to them fully. Of course they were sad about your breakup, but once they got the full picture they were supportive of you.

Happiness is personal and if it means going separate ways with their own best friend, they would still try to support you.

You felt fresher these days. You didn’t have to drag yourself out of bed much these days. A more relaxed expression painted your face these days. Sometimes you find yourself wondering about Calum in general. You’d hope he’s doing well, even after all the turmoil. You don’t hate him, you could never hate such an amazing soul. You were just disappointed you can’t have him the way you want to.

Life goes on, you started dating casually in the past three months. None of them really tugged on your attention, instead ending up as friends by the end of the dates.

Currently, you’re on your way to meet Andre. You met him for a date, the two of you linking up through Twitter. By the end of the date though, you two agreed you’d be better off as friends. It was a friendship you’d quickly learned to cherish, enjoying his presence and personality.

The Autumn air was always one you relished in, despite getting cold easily. You wore your favourite coat, as well as a beret. Any close friends of yours could pick you out of a crowd, knowing how attached you are to your accessories.

Apparently, so could Calum Hood.

He was hunting for coffee, needing that energy boost to help him get through the recording session. It was an area he wasn’t familiar with, hence his troubles locating a coffee shop.

It was pure coincidence when he looked up, spotting you walking down the pavement. You hadn’t noticed him though, too busy looking down at your phone, a small smile present as you mumble to yourself. In the midst of his own shock, he’d ended up staying still on his side of the pavement.

You passed him, as he eyed you, eyes widened in pure surprise and even a tinge of panic. His staring didn’t go unnoticed by you. You were already a couple steps away but you looked up, knowing someone was watching. The frown on your face was visible to Calum, only to watch it deepen when you catch the culprit staring at you.

Normally, you’d give a stranger a dirty look and a once over but this was no stranger. You stopped in your steps, seeing Calum’s body half turned as well. Confused and taken by surprise, you raised your free hand, waving at him lamely. You saw something in his eyes change, and he made his way to you, calling out your name softly.

“ Hey, “ you greeted him breathlessly.

He had tucked his hands in his front pockets, trying to play nonchalant. He pressed his lips together, taking you in. You knew he wouldn’t make the first move, so you decided to save him.

“ Change of scenery? “ He looked at you confused.

“ Uh, I’ve never ran into you around here before. So this is unexpected and new. What brings you here? “ The implied message that you moved on in your life without him didn’t go unnoticed by Calum.

Still, he pushed that thought of his mind and replied. “ Recording session down the street, needed some caffeine. “

You smiled softly, pleasantly surprised. “ Oh? That’s cool. I didn’t know there’s a studio around here. How’s it going? “

Calum hums, looking down at his shoe. “ It’s going. “

Noticing his change in behaviour, you decided it’d be best you excuse yourself. After all, you are keeping your own friend waiting. “ Uh, if you don’t mind I’ll have to get going. Good to see you Calum. “

His head shot up, looking at you in the eye for the first time. “ Wait, “ he sputtered, his right hand reaching out to your arm. Your eyes darted down to it briefly, before looking at him expectantly.

“ Uh, do you mind if we could catch up? Like some time, any time? My number’s still the same. If you still have it, if you don’t then, uh it’s understandable. If you don’t want to meet up it’s fine by me too it totally- “

You couldn’t help the fond smile from appearing, interrupting him. “ Calum, I haven’t changed my number and I’ve still got yours. I’ll text you sometime this week. I’ve got to run. “

You flashed him one last smile before turning on your heels, without waiting for his reaction. You’d miss the dazed look on his face and the gummy smile that broke out afterwards.

Staring at the screen of his phone, Calum contemplated his next move. He had already unlocked his phone to read the notification, to ensure that it really was a message from you and that it wasn't a prank. He was certain you were just being polite when you said you'd text.

He's nervous, which is stupid to him considering the fact that you two were once good friends before dating. Still, he felt slightly light headed when he decided to open the chat to type out a reply.

hey, Y/N here :] wondering if you're down for pizza at our old regular spot on friday, dinner time?

Shakily, he sent his message but not before reading it three times, once out loud and the twice in his head.

sounds great, see ya around 7 : D

It suddenly dawned on him that Friday was two days away. He ran into you on Sunday. Many thoughts were running through Calum's mind, but he needed to ground himself. Obviously, you two wouldn't be dating the moment after Friday. He knew you, and he'd like to think he still does. This means that your walls were already back up, and if anything, they’re even tougher and taller. He'd need to work his ass to gain back your trust, even as a friend.

You were the best thing that happened to Calum, if he's being completely honest. He didn't show you enough care, more often than not finding himself prioritising third parties opinions regarding himself, regarding you two. He was too focused on losing the love of the world he didn't spare a thought about losing yours. In the end, it felt like he lost everything when you walked away from him.

If he even got the chance to be back in your life as a friend, Calum was going to jump on it. The past months have been living hell for him and he hasn't felt more alive than he's been in the past year. Calum's hoping his change will pull through.

On the other hand, you were worrying slightly. You're never one to let people back into your life so easily. This was the quickest you'd try to reunite with someone you'd cut off. But if you could learn to grow into a better person, you believed Calum had taken the time to learn too.

At first, you hesitated texting him. You wondered if you should even be talking to Calum in the first place. It was kinda ridiculous though, considering the fact that you're still good friends with his bandmates. You can't even lie about how your mind would drift towards Calum in the past month before your run in with him.

Taking the run in as a sign of fate, you decide to gamble all your hope into the universe. If Calum truly had changed for the better, you know you'd be able to live with one less heartache. Losing a good friend has always been difficult for you but to lose both a lover and a friend, it got hard to cope with at times.

Realistically speaking, you'd know even a small thought of considering dating Calum again might come in at a later point in life but for now, you're just hoping to rekindle the friendship you had.

You wonder if he noticed the change in your texting style, was it obvious that you're truly a different person now? Or does it reveal your own conflicted feelings even through a simple message? Not wanting to worry anymore, you threw your phone to the side and focused on your laptop to take away your frustrations.

The pizzeria wasn't fancy, it was a hole in the wall store. It'd been a long while since your last visit, the last time you were there was not long after the break up. The burning curiosity as to whether Calum visited the pizzeria after your fallout was dizzying your mind. To your surprise, Calum was there first. He had just found a seat, eyes drifting towards the entrance to check for your arrival.

A soft expression took over his features as he admired you. You'd always been one to dress up regardless of the activity and location. Even being in an ordinary pizzeria was no exception for you. You wore your favourite pair of Docs, the one Calum gifted you for your birthday two years ago. It wasn't intentional, it was just one of your favourite shoes that was still in mint condition.

The rest of your ensemble reminded him of the long time away from each other. You wore a plaid pleated tennis skirt, with a buckle at the side. You layered it with a white turtleneck and a knitted vest, on top of it all were various necklaces. New outfits that change you, just like the time apart.

" Hey, did you just get here? " You greeted as you settled opposite him, straightening yourself out to avoid looking him in the eye.

Calum's eyes were still on you, taking in your appearance. " Uh, no I just got here too. Are you ready to order? "

You finally looked at him, taking in his appearance across of you. A band tee (The same Nine Inch Nails shirt you used to steal,) and a simple silver chain adorning his neck. His tattoos were peeking out from the short sleeves of the shirt, drawing your attention to his arms. It was buffer than you last remembered it to be, that you were sure of. Calum was looking at you, waiting for your response.

Right, you're about to have dinner with Calum in your old hang out spot with him. You nodded at him, about to get up from your seat to order when he shakes his head. " Two slices of beef pepperoni, and a side of root beer right? "

" Yeah, I- "

" It's okay, it's on me. " He quickly replies and leaves you at the table. You stare at his retreating figure in disbelief. You settle back in your seat, deciding to berate him when he returns with your orders.

Within minutes, Calum returns with your meals. " You didn't have to do that you know. " You narrow your eyes at him, automatically fixing the placings of the food on the table.

" It's okay, I insist. " He smiles, muttering a quick thanks for setting the table.

You heaved a sigh of exhaustion, shaking your head. " Alright but I'm buying us dessert later and you can't deny it. " You threatened him, the fond smile never leaving your lips as Calum laughs at your antics.

The rest of dinner carried on naturally, as if you two have always been in this pizzeria for the past one year of your lives. It was a little unnerving but it mostly felt right, like the stars had aligned. Time flew by, like it always did when the two of you were tucked in your own bubble together. Finishing up the last of your drink, you two lapsed into comfortable silence. He watched you as you downed the remains of the cup, containing melted ice cubes.

" Good to know you still have iron deficiency. "

You rolled your eyes, deciding to chew the ice cubes a little loudly. " It's an addiction, I truly can't help it. Come on, let's go. " You urged Calum, grabbing your bag and standing up. He quickly picked up his leather jacket and stood up too. You got a good look of his full outfit, surprised by the lack of Docs to be replaced by a pair of Vans instead. You watched as he pat down his pants, ensuring he got all his belongings before coming up to your side.

Once you two left the pizzeria, you took a quick glance at the street you were so used to. Wordlessly, you turned right, Calum having no other choice but to follow along. It wasn't even nine yet and it was a Friday night, so you were in no rush to go home. You'd hope your intuitions were right as it led you two towards one of your favourite book stores, the one you used to drag Calum in to hide from the rest of the world.

Calum's heart swelled, he recognised the direction they were headed towards the second you chose to turn right. He wonders if it was just as natural for you as it was for him, muscle memory to go to the book store after the pizzeria now that you're with him. It was just like the many times you've done so all those years.

It was silent between you two during the short walk to the store. Calum, ever the gentlemen opened the door for you. You thanked him, before looking back at him. The feeling of nostalgia was mutual between the two of you. Feeling brave, you stuck your hand out to him, nodding towards the endless shelves of books. " Come on. "

He gently took your hand, letting you pull him along. You automatically made a beeline towards the Young Adult section, ever the hopeless romantic you are. The thought brought a fond smile to grace Calum's lips, loving how some things will never change.

You awakened to the sun shining through your window. Days like these made you regret not getting a blackout curtain. One hand stretched over your eyes to shield you from the light. You had gone out the day before, only returning towards midnight. Calum had invited you out, taking you out for lunch and dinner which you fought to pay for, refusing to let him treat you to a meal twice in a day.

After dinner, you two went to a bowling alley that you'd never been too before. It had ended with you losing but you were the one that scored not one, but two strikes so really who's the real winner?

( " That's not how it works Y/N. " Calum rolled his eyes, causing you to giggle.

" Well, you had one strike while I had two. We haven't even gotten to the part about my spares. "

Calum just took your bowling shoes from your hold, " Whatever you say Y/N. " )

You'd been spending more and more time with Calum, meeting up with him at least once a week. The excitement and happiness that washed over you each time you texted or met never seemed to fade. It alarmed you a little, reminding yourself of the times you were crushing on Calum big time. You were confused. Sure you can't deny that you're attracted to him but you were also just really really grateful to have him back in your life.

Maybe that was a little too much gratefulness but could you really blame yourself? It was Calum freaking Hood! Who could resist such a divine being? If anyone could, please send some tips your way.

After accepting the fact that you won't be continuing your slumber, you reached out for your phone on your nightstand. As always, numerous notifications greeted you. This time however, you noticed you’d been tagged in multiple posts on Instagram, noting how they were all from fan accounts. You groaned out loud, not ready to deal with blatant haters all over again.

As if they hadn't already made your life a living hell when you were still with Calum, the first two to three months of your breakup was somehow, one of the worst. Calum had never once said a word to the fans to keep themselves in line. It was painful and harmful to live that way. His own silence was ultimately a factor leading to your downfall with him.

The rest of the band almost posted a statement to tell the fans to shove their useless hatred up their asses but you stopped them, not needing to complicate the situation of your breakup even more. Thankfully, it all ended up dying down but it wasn't something you'd like to relive in.

Going onto Twitter, you contemplated on going private. You were starting to get tagged in conversations on 5sos stan Twitter. You were quick to mute those conversations, not even sparing a single glance to read the tweets. Deciding to tone down your fear, you just double checked on your settings across Instagram and Twitter, twitching it so only people you follow can contact you directly from those accounts.

The two of you have skid past the topic of the breakup. Which was why it surprised you when you received a long message from Calum, filled with apologies.

It wasn't selfish of you to walk out from me because I was the selfish one. Seeing the commotion online has only pushed me to get this overdue apology out of me. I'm sorry you're getting this through a text, first thing when you wake up. It's been hard for us to approach this but in order for us to properly start a new chapter, we have to address the matter. I feel like I should take full responsibility for causing you unnecessary pain. I admit, the pressure of the fans and the media got to me, letting them dictate how I treat you. I'm easily one of the biggest fools you've ever known, it surprises me how you even found it in your kind soul to love me once upon a time and even, forgive me. If you don't mind, I'd like to do this right. Defend you from the fans for a start, even though we aren't dating anymore you are still my friend and a human being. You don't deserve the relentless spite from the internet, you don't need my own issues to become yours. Do know that I'm not doing this out of guilt but because I truly care for you and it's time for me to stop being a coward. If you're not comfortable, fine by me too. Just know that I won't hesitate to defend you from now forth.

You were moved by his words, knowing how he always got a way to craft words in the best ways possible. Your thumb hovered over the call icon before pressing on it. You didn't even have to wait three dials for him to answer.

" Y/N, " he answered softly.

You brought your knees to your chest, leaning against the headboard of your bed. " Calum, thank you. I don't want to stand in the way between you and your fans again. Do what you think is right for your own well-being as much as mine. "

" No offence Y/N, but it was hard back then not really realising how much backlash you'd receive just by existing around me. You don't have to suffer again by being associated with me. It irks me that I just stupidly stood by you, oblivious to the hate you got. Maybe worse things did happen and you didn't tell me. I don't want that to go on anymore. I want you to know that I'm fully here now. "

You cringed at his words, remembering how crude those remarks could get. Even when you were alone in public and a hater recognised you, they'd send you a dirty look and mutter a nasty remark for you to hear. Sometimes some fans would use the crowd as an opportunity to hit you more roughly than you'd expect. Those experiences made you stop showing up to huge events and surprising Calum.

It was unfair to Calum, that you didn't tell him about the other happenings but it would break your heart to break his heart about his fans. You knew how far his loyalty for the fans stood. For him to genuinely offer you proper protection was really a shocking change. You were silent for a moment; taking in the gravity of his words.

" Alright, " you nodded. " But if this ruins your reputation- "

" I don't care about that anymore, I care about you Y/N. "

You pressed your lips together. " I've got to go back to the studio, I'll talk to you later. Bye. "

Later that evening, Calum sent out a tweet that couldn't even be replied by anyone but him, calling out fans to watch their own words regarding the band and their loved ones. You simply liked and retweeted it before exiting the app to send a quick text to Calum, expressing your gratitude before choosing to ignore the world for the rest of the night.

Normally, Calum wouldn't be worried as he knew you well enough to know that sometimes you needed space. Sometimes you'd fall into a mental slump and just needed to slack throughout the days. But he hasn't heard from you in almost a week now, he was really starting to grow concerned about your well-being. You never had much friends, he knew that you prefer a tight knit circle of friends. After checking in on your social media accounts to track your online activities, he decided to pay you a surprise visit.

You'd told him before on how you moved into a new apartment, on a completely different side of town away from him. A fresh start for you. He input your address in the gps of his car, letting it lead him towards your apartment.

He double checked your building before driving towards the security post. He was under the guise of dropping off delivery for you, easily slipping past security. After they jotted down his name in the log book, they let him enter the car park. He found an empty space, luckily and made his way to the lift lobby.

He only had his memory to help him, previously having mentioned what level and unit number you lived in when you shared about your new life to him. Calum also remembered how you loved living in a high rise building. Calum was alone in the lift, riding up to the sixteenth floor. When he got out, he noticed there were only five units on this floor.

Carefully, he examined the exterior and read the different unit numbers of the apartments. Reaching outside the furthest unit, he hesitates to ring it. Calum reads the unit number, seemingly ringing a memory in his mind about the same numbers plastered on the door before him. With a deep breath, he presses on the doorbell of the apartment and awaits for your arrival.

" Calum? " He had been staring at the ground, hoping to calm his nerves.

His head shot up, once again looking at you, feeling relieved. " Thank god I got the correct unit. Surprise? "

You stepped aside to let him in, " Right uh, sorry I look like a mess right now. " You smiled sheepishly, tucking your stray hair behind your ears to look somewhat presentable. You'd been lounging in an oversized tee and some cotton shorts, not even wearing a bra underneath.

" I brought us some food, if you don't mind. " Calum raises the paper bag from McDonald's. Your stomach starts to churn slightly at the sight of fast food.

" I'll be right back but make yourself comfortable on my couch. Turn Netflix on, or Disney+ or whatever makes you comfortable. " You quickly headed for your room, putting on your most comfortable bra. Sure, he'd seen you naked on multiple occasions but this was different. You quickly fixed your appearance, grabbing your glasses, hair tie, as well as your blanket, head pillows and jacket.

By the time you returned, Calum had already laid out the food on the coffee table. You didn't have the heart to tell him that you didn't have much appetite to eat, despite being attracted to the food presented to you.

" Thanks Calum, " you mumbled softly, settling on the end of the couch. He settles down gently beside you, leaving a small gap between the two of you. You opted to look at the television instead, refusing to open up. Calum was waiting on your every move, so you had to be fine. You wanted to be fine.

He took one last look at you before his eyes adverted to the screen, pressing play on the film he's chosen. You tried to relax as the Disney introduction clip rolled through, only to jump slightly in surprise when your favourite film introduction came on afterwards.

You couldn't help the smile from forming, peeking to look at Calum only to find him already grinning at you. You blushed, shyly looking away and reached out for the packet of fries he laid out on the table for you. You absentmindedly offered Calum some fries, holding it in between the two of you to munch on.

Calum was still worried about you. Sure you were eating the food you brought over but you weren't fully enjoying the moment. You didn't sing your heart out like you normally would. Instead, you were muttering some lyrics under your breath. He knew when the next song sequence would come up, deciding to take action from there.

You were surprised when you heard Calum singing along to the film, looking at you earnestly. It was always the other way around, being the Disney fanatic that you are. You didn't think he'd notice your subtlety today, but he did. It was almost the end of the first verse, and you were quite tempted. Maybe it showed on your face because Calum was inching closer, singing louder.

As the pre chorus kicked in, you finally gave in, singing a little louder than you had all day. Calum harmonised with you, encouraging you to take the lead. You rolled your eyes, but it held no threat as you smiled widely, feeling your burdens slightly lifted off your chest.

By the end of the song, you were breathless, leaning close into Calum and laughing. His one arm instinctively wrapped around you, pulling you close. It's the first intimate contact you two have initiated in a long while, but you didn't care. You felt him tense up, before Calum pulled away feeling shocked and apologised.

" It's okay, " you assured him and snuggled into him. His once tense body relaxed in a matter of seconds, giving into your needs. The comfortable silence returned, but this time you truly felt calm as Calum ran his fingers through your hair as you leant against him.

Since his visit, you decided you were ready to go back to socialising. You were sure to express your gratitude multiple times towards Calum, forgetting how safe and sound it was like to be by his side. However, you were positively sure those feelings were all on the platonic side. It only made sense right? Ignoring the facts, Calum was being a great friend and you seeking comfort in him can be purely platonic. (Even when your heart is trying to convince you otherwise.)

You went about your week as per usual, going to work, coming home, talking to your friends and meeting up with them. It was a rare day for you, as you had ended work earlier than usual. You were getting ready to meet your best friends when Calum randomly rang you up on FaceTime.

" Hello? " You answered, pausing to stand in front of your phone where you had balanced against your makeup brush holder.

" Oh hey, sorry am I disturbing you? " You noticed he had his bass clutched on his one hand, probably using his laptop to FaceTime you as his phone was on his lap. You got a clear view of Calum on his couch.

" Uh, no not really? I mean I can get ready while talking to you. Not like I've never done it before. What's up? " You settled down in your chair, mindlessly moving things around to make it easier for you to get ready while sitting down.

Calum curses, " Oh you're going out today. Sorry I forgot I'll just, I'll just call someone else or something. "

This made you stop your movements, glaring at Calum as best as you can through your screen. " Calum Thomas Hood, you called me, I stayed until now. What makes you so sure I don't wanna listen to whatever song you magically conjured up? "

" How'd you know it's a song? "

" From the way you're set up. Quick, I wanna hear it! "

He looks at his phone then back at you. " Okay, I just need some new perspective okay? Be brutally honest if you have to, " Calum trials off.

You sat back in your seat, making sure all your attention was on him and only him. He cleared his throat once before strumming the bass. He was singing loud enough for the two of you to hear, singing the melodies at some parts he was unsure of. After a minute or so, he stopped and looked at you for approval. Even through the small screen of your phone, you could see the eagerness to be praised and showered with love. Writing can get vulnerable and it made you wonder how he'd come up with such a beautiful song.

" I love it, I really do. " You smiled sweetly, hoping all your appreciation towards him are being expressed. " It's an amazing song, Calum that bass line is really really good too. That's so genius! " He looks at you with his doe eyes, smiling in disbelief.

" You trust me right? "

His face harderns, " Of course. "

" Then believe me when I say that your song is on its way to be one of the most amazing songs ever! I'm a music snob, you know I take music to heart. " You tried to lighten the atmosphere, succeeding in doing so when Calum broke into a smile.

The two of you stayed on the line, Calum working hard on shaping his song while you worked on your face. Even when you were driving, you made him stay connected despite his protests.

( " That's so fucking dangerous, I'm not sure if we should. "

" I'm wounded, I'll be fine! " )

Much to Calum's relief that his prayers regarding your safety were answered, you made it to your designated location without a hassle. You ended off with a cheerful farewell, promising to talk later that day.

Being around you was both the best and worst time of Calum's life. He loves you, he really does but it kills him not knowing where the two of you stand. He's aware that he's already pushed his luck with you, getting a chance of reconciliation which is rare especially coming from you. Calum doesn't want to fuck things up with his own feelings becoming a potential problem but he's sure at times, you feel the same.

You however, were still in denial of your own feelings. To be fair, you denied the first time you thought you liked Calum beyond the friendship zone. To be there again, for the second time in your life was something you're struggling coming to terms with.

Maybe it's the nostalgia getting to you. Maybe he really is charming. Maybe he is the love of your life. You're not sure. No living soul could tell you the truth and it's tearing you apart. If only feelings weren't so complex, especially when Calum's the subject of the topic.

As the days go by, your feelings grow stronger and stronger, making you realise many things. Wanting to kiss your very good friend isn't platonic, at all. Wanting to wake up to your friend every day and to fall in bed with your friend every night isn't platonic. Needing to see his face and hear his voice when you're at your lowest low isn't platonic in the slightest. You are still in love with Calum Hood, but the feelings just felt more vigorous.

As it comes to be, you grew even more in love with him as the times went by. It was scary, the familiar feelings coming back at fuller force. It was like speeding without brakes because you didn't know how to stop. You never learnt but you don't really know if you wanted to. He made you feel so much and none at the same time. Being him felt like being at the top of the world but also feels natural, meant to be. How seamless it was to be back in each other's lives. It should seem like a huge deal but it's Calum, it felt all too natural to you.

It was weird, once you started thinking hard about it. What are you to do now? If you acted differently, it'll probably be noticeable and he'd ask you about your feelings but how do you control yourself around Calum to be more friendly? It seems like life's a never ending struggle when Calum's involved in the equation.

The day of your routine meet up with Calum had arrived, and you were trying to stay as nonchalant as possible. Surely Calum could distract from, well himself in your own mind. He was dropping by your house today, opting to cook you your favourite pasta dish. You were whining about how you lack the time to travel to your favourite Italian restaurant, which only transpired into a banter between the two of you. Calum insisted to cook for you, in the comfort of your home. Who were you to deny free food, let alone his company?

It started out fine, you helped Calum prepare some ingredients from your pantry, setting it aside for him. The natural playful attitude came out easily when you’re around Calum. He shooed you away right before he started cooking, urging you to relax. After sending him one last half hearted threat, you complied and retreated to your room.

Getting lost in your thoughts was easy, especially as you laid on your bed with your music playing beside you. The very thought that Calum was in your kitchen, preparing dinner right now for only the two of you sends your head spinning. It feels like a fever dream, having him regularly back in your life. Your thoughts almost made you nauseous from clogging up your senses. You’re only brought back to earth when Calum comes knocking on your door, calling you.

He cautiously pushes the door open, widening the small gap you had left behind. From your spot on the bed, you look at him and you nearly swoon. It’s like every moment that happened before today blends into your mind, rendering you speechless over such a simple sight. He truly looks like he belongs in your space all along, as if he never left. It’s scary, yet you fucking loved it.

“ Hey, you good? “ His forehead creases with concern, taking a tentative step forward.

You flash a small, tired smile. “ I’m fine, sorry. Just spaced out there. “

Calum stares at you, before his body language swiftly relaxes. “ Well, don’t keep our food waiting. “ He smiles teasingly at you, an effort in lifting your atmosphere. One, you recognise and still feel grateful for.

He watches you as you slowly rise from your bed, sauntering towards him. His lips quirk up as he leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms. “ Last one to the table is a loser! “ You exclaim, pushing him lightly and running out of your room. Your laughter fills your apartment, shortly accompanied by Calum’s groan. Obviously you reached first, appreciative of the fact that Calum had set the table up. As you take your seat, Calum finally makes it to the dining room.

“ You know you’re dirty right. “ A smile plays on your lips as you shrug, looking away from him.

“ Sounds like a loser is saying something. “ You joked, getting up to wash your hands.

Calum grumbles to himself, but his eyes are full of mirth. “ Whatever, you’re lucky I love you. “

You stared at him, hands hanging by your side. He stares back in disbelief, a look of conflict flickers across his face. “ Yeah, “ he lamely concludes, eyes drifting away from yours.

Now or never.

“ I love you, so you’re lucky too. “ You see his ears perk up, shoulders risen again. When he looks at you, he’s frowning, a little sad even. Calum shakes his head, smiling sadly. “ No, don’t say that. “ He weakly protests.

It makes you frown, causes your own hope to vanish. “ Why? “

Calum breaks eye contact again, staring down on the ground. “ Don’t say it like you mean it. Or worse, like you feel obligated. “ Your frown only creases deeper, feeling hurt by his own assumptions.

“ That’s rude. “ You find your voice, despite feeling the growing pain in your throat. You want him to look up, to see if he could see your anguish on full display right now, all triggered by him. “ I’m in love with you Calum Hood. I never stopped and I don’t think I ever will. It would take the entire universe for me to fall for someone else. “

The sound of your own heart was deafening for you, beating loudly in your ear. You want to get out so badly but you didn’t want to leave Calum, nor did you want him to leave you. You don’t think you could handle it. “ Are you sure? “ Calum gulps, braving himself to look you in the eye.

The exasperation in your voice makes you cringe inwardly but you can’t find it in you to care all that much. This could be your only chance. “ Yes, I am very sure. “ He stares hard at you, his face void of emotions but you can tell his mind is making many contemplations. It was up to him now, you can only hope. It’s kinda humorous, you’d never imagine yourself confessing your feelings to him again. This time, it feels much more surreal but it was Calum. He’s always going to make you feel this way, you knew that deep in your bones.

“ I’m speechless, “ is all he could come up with.

“ I can tell. “

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. His composure breaks, shoulders slumped forward. “ You’re all I ever wanted, and even more than what I deserve. Don’t, you know it’s true. It’s a miracle you even forgave me and reconciled with me. I didn’t treat you right the first time, Our love may not be perfect, but I hope it’s enough for both you and I. I’m sorry that it took time apart for me to finally change, but I know you believe in the fates. If the fates are signalling that we’re the endgame, then I’ll trudge through every hardship by your side, not up ahead without you. That is, if you’ll have me. “

You approached him, taking every step closer as a chance for him to break away but he didn’t. Calum stood his ground, straightened up as he looked right into your soul. If he was looking hard enough, you’re sure he could even see the red string that pulls you two close, tugging you back to him. He reaches out, hands fitting back into place on your hips, closing the gap between you two. The adoring smile on your face calms Calum down, indulging in the feel of having your arms wrapped around his neck once again. Your foreheads meet, inhaling the electric feel of finally having your worlds return into one.

Your eyes flutter open, staring deep into Calum’s. Instantly, you both leaned forward, finally getting rid of all the space between you. The kiss was igniting, the blazing feeling was pretty much mutual as you felt Calum smile into the kiss. It was a little desperate, but still fulfilling the yearning that had accumulated in the past year. You’re left feeling hazy, laughing as you pulled away gently. Calum laughs too, out of giddiness. His right hand leaves your hips, coming up to cup your cheek. Once you look up, you catch his signature gummy smile directed at you. Your mind should be in overload but instead, it’s peaceful, the silence comforting you. It’s like a missing puzzle piece has been recovered in your life. In that moment forth, you knew love was truly everlasting.

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