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urrockstar-xe · 5 months

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happy birthday - j.m x fem!reader

posted nov 27th, 2023 9:50pm

anon asked: could you do bestfriend jj asking reader out on a date for her birthday present and he tells her he’s been in love with her for years🩷🤭

so sorry for the wait!! for the sake of this, pretend reader and jj kissed before finding the gold instead of jj and kie i also don't know HOW THE FUCK but i forgot abt the love confession I'm sorry :( okay muah. it's def way past ur birthday but happy birthday! my grandma used the sing the beatles song to us on our birthdays! i hope u like it :)

masterlist

wordcount: 1.2k

Loud cheers and “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”s rang through your ears the second you were within eyeshot of your friends all out back of the chateau. The smile on your face only got bigger when Sarah and Kie tackled you in a hug, all three of you going down in a fit of giggles and more “Happy birthday!”s

Helping each other stand up, you all made your way closer to the rest of your friends all of whom shared your cheerful smiles. John B was the next to pull you into a hug, “Happy birthday,” he smiled. “Thanks, JB.” You smiled, pushing him off you as he messed up your hair, earning a laugh in response. Cleo nodded at you with a smile from where she sat, “Happy birthday, Y/n/n” you thanked her, before being pulled into another hug by Pope and JJ this time, earning another round of laughs from the group as they nearly crushed you in between them both happily singing The Beatles birthday song, You laughed again, smiling when JJ threw his arm around your shoulder and kept it there even after the hug had ended. “Thank you guys, that was sweet” You spoke, your cheeks warm from all the affection.

“So birthday girl, what do you want to do today?” John B asked, rubbing his hands together eagerly awaiting your answer.

“I actually just wanna hang out, with everything that’s happened these last few months, we haven’t really had the chance so!” You announced, smiling nervously as if for whatever reason they’d reject the idea. Instead, it was met with nods of understanding and excited high-fives from the boys.

John B gave JJ a pat on the back and a wink before moving back to sit with Sarah, giving you a weirdly suspicious smile before JJ spoke up, “Although, we-” Pope forced a cough and cleared his throat to cut JJ off, giggles coming from the girls. “I had an idea in mind for tonight though, not the whole day just a few hours tonight” JJ shrugged, grinning at you and dropping his arm from your shoulder to fully turn to you.

You smiled back, “Alright, bring it on, Maybank” You laughed through your words, expecting this surprise of his to be something illegal or some last-minute party at the point, but as more cheers for the long-awaited normal day came from the pogues your thoughts were practically wiped clean with matched excitement.

And so you had your usual summer day on the water, with your usual playlist and John B pushing Sarah in the water, Pope in charge of steering the boat with newfound company in Cleo, and JJ shaking cold water droplets from his hair onto you and Kie’s laps like a dog. Kiara had snagged food from her parents and nobody asked how but JJ and John B showed up with beer.

Now as the sun set and a breeze hit your shoulders you found solace and warmth in JJ’s thin but discarded button-up, Pope was taking the boat back to land for whatever JJ had planned and everyone was calmly chatting amongst themselves, not including Kie and JJ who were bickering over what time was best to get high.

As the Chateau came into sight you felt JJ's head fall onto your lap, looking down to see him already smiling up at you.

“Sup pretty lady,” he said, his sunglasses falling perfectly on his nose and his hair just slightly damp and cold on your thighs. “What’s up, J” You smiled back as always, ruffling his hair but leaving your fingers entangled in it.

“Ready for your surprise?” JJ was evidently eager about his plans but when was he not, even the bad ones had JJ shaking with excitement.

Actually, especially the bad ones.

You nodded, growing impatient when you were suddenly hit with the realization of not really knowing what this surprise was.

JJ stayed like this the rest of the time left on the boat, starting up mindless conversations with you and asking dumb questions when the conversations would seemingly end, it made it feel like you hit land a little too soon, suddenly missing the feeling of him being so intimately close as he stood up and hopped off.

The boys helped the girls off, JJ grabbed your hand once Sarah was safely secured and on her way to the old hammock. Although when he helped you he held onto your hand longer than necessary turning to the rest of your friends and announcing you’d both be on your way to Pope’s place to pick up the dinner Mrs Heyward so graciously offered to make for your birthday.

John B sent JJ another wink before waving you guys off. Your friends all watched as you guys got on JJ’s bike and headed off, all giggling and chatting about whatever this surprise was.

“Thank you so much! I owe you, Miss Heyward!” JJ yelled as he ran back from the door to his bike, you waved and blew Pope’s mom a kiss as she called out a happy birthday before JJ handed you the box of food and promised to go slow while starting his bike back up.

He actually kept his promise and after what felt like forever you stopped not too far from the docks where you grew up watching the boys fish and as JJ ever so graciously took the box of food from your hands you began approaching it.

And there it was, an old blanket you recognized from John B’s couch laid out on the old wood, with a rock on each corner to hold it down and a single candle set in the middle, the melted wax signaling it had been lit but the wind had blown it out and as you watched JJ set down the box and turn to you with a nervous smile, clapping his hands together, you realized what this all was.

“So uh, I couldn’t think of anything to get you, and you said it yourself this morning! With everything going on the last few months, it’s been a lot for us and we never got a chance to really establish what this” he motioned between you two with his hands, “what we were, so what better than to have our first date?” You pouted as he finished, ignoring his worried questions at the pout as you got closer to JJ and wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling at how fast his hands landed on either side of your waist.

“JJ, this is so sweet, you are so sweet” You whispered, close enough to feel his breath. JJ smiled, his worry instantly fading as he sighed. “God, you scared me” he laughed, earning a laugh from you as well.

“Happy birthday, baby” JJ whispered back, a soft look in his eyes as they flickered from your own and your lips.

And for the first time since just before finding the gold, you felt confident in leaning up and closing the small gap, pressing a long overdue kiss to JJ’s lips, laughing breathlessly as his lips chased yours when you pulled away.

best birthday ever

#jj maybank x pogue!reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj mayback imagine #outer banks x you #outer banks imagines #obx imagine #obx fanfiction #Spotify

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betterthanyalls · 5 months

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Wssppp this is like uhh day 5 or 6? I really REALLY love this one. I am obsessed with Sammy i love him so much. He is so hot, I will go on a rant of him. My irl friends are annoyed with how much I talk abt him. Neways onwards!!!🫶🫶🫶🫶

Sammy Lawrence x Reader

Smell of pines

Published: 12-9-2023

Words: 674

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The ringing of the bell signaled someone entering the shop. Or two someones, should I say.

Chatting away, Y/n and her boyfriend, Sammy, walked into a local plant shop. It was Christmas season and Y/n had begged Sammy to come with her shopping for decor. And even though they have been together for what seemed like forever, which was only 3 years; Sammy still got flustered from her(Though he would never admit it).

When a break hit their conversation, Y/n took a deep breath of the floral life around her. Exhaling with a smile, she turned to Sammy.

“Do you smell that?”

Sammy inhaled through his nose for a second before exhaling immediately after. “Yeah, what about it?”

“What’s it smell like to you?” Y/n asked curiously, she always had a knack for wanting to know everything. And that knack of hers was multiplied tenfold when she started dating Sammy, she wanted to know everything about him. At first, this weirded Sammy out; but now it’s a second nature to tell Y/n anything she wanted to know. He loved that goofy smile she’d get when she learned something new.

So, putting on a teasing smile, Sammy said, “It smells like employees hating their lives.”

Y/n gave him the most impassive look she could muster.

“I was talking about the smell of pine trees.”

Sammy just shrugged and walked away from her, knowing she’d follow. “Same difference.”

“Wha- No it’s not! Pine is a much more nostalgic and happy smell rather than whatever ‘Employees hating their lives.’ smells like!” Y/n chased after her boyfriend.

Once she found him, the two went back to the most random topics that came along the way. After shopping for a bit, Y/n picked out a nice looking wreath. Whereas, unbeknownst to Y/n, Sammy bought a mistletoe and had a plan.

Finally leaving the store, the two got into their shared car; with Y/n in the passenger and Sammy driving, he didn’t trust her driving skills after she almost ran off the road and then accidently whipped the car with people behind them.

Sammy began to drive to their shared apartment. On the way, Y/n turned on the radio and Christmas music flooded the car. As the previous song ended, one of Y/n and Sammy’s favorites came on and the two immediately began to sing along to the duet.

“I really can’t stay…”

“Baby it’s cold outside.”

“I’ve got to go away…”

“Baby it’s cold outside.”

“This evening has been…”

“Hoping that you’d drop by.”

“So…very nice.”

“I’ll take your hands, they're just like ice.”

The two sang on and on until the song ended, arriving home right on time too. Sammy drove the car to the apartment parking lot and put it in park.

While Y/n was turned in her seat to get the wreath from the back seats, Sammy hung the mistletoe on the rearview mirror.

When Y/n turned back, she saw the mistletoe hanging up. She looked over to Sammy, about to ask where the mistletoe came from. But before she could, she was cut off by a pair of warm, soft lips meeting her cold, chapped ones.

Even though they have kissed countless times before, Y/n couldn’t help but become flustered and thoughtless each time Sammy kissed her. Even a small forehead peck could get her to smile and giggle like a schoolgirl.

Slowly, the kiss broke, giving the two lovebirds some air. Sammy leaned away from her, watching for her reaction. She always made him smile with her reactions to his kisses.

Y/n’s face was firetruck red, she was burning up so much that she thought she had a fever.

Not being able to form words, she simply looked away from Sammy and stared at the windshield in front of her.

Sammy merely laughed at her flustered expression.

Little did they know, the universe had intertwined Sammy and Y/n’s hearts so that they may be together forever.

#x reader #fluff #reader x sammy lawrence #sammy lawrence #batim x reader

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keeznutzx · 1 year

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My Yuugen Romantica HC's That No One Asked for!! :)

Hifumi :

- watches whatev he want (hecc even he doesn't care abt what genre of anime he watched lmao, depends on MC if they want to watch it together).

- listens to RnB musics, or nostalgic ones. Or whatev as long as it had a beat to it.

- when he first saw the MC, he actually dosen't understand how love worked. But after hanawo explained EVERYTHING, he starts to understand and well...he is him now, lol.

- he always watches vine comp with utashiro. They did the 'i can't forget you' vine and hanawo laughs his butt off.

- Probs love to take selfies (from his official pic where he do the peace ✌🏻 sign). In every chara's phone, you will see pics of them with Hifumi on it/or them taking a selfie with Hifumi.

- He had a sweet appetite, like- not only crepes. He probs likes cakes, pudding, candy. Those things.

- Saves everyones phone numbers w/ his own nicknames

Ex. : Utashiro is "prankster bff" Zakuro is "tsundere" or Hanawo is "Hanamom".

- Problem Child #2 in the Youkai Gang

Utashiro :

- he loves pranks because he is easily bored, and if he doesn't do it. Then he sleeps.

- He is the type of people who dosen't really ate much because they think 'it's enough' so he always left a lot of food and it's always hifumi who ate the leftovers.

- nightmares are delicacy for him, if the MC had nightmares. He'll ready to maul those like a lion catching the prey.

- music-wise, he loves slowed songs, literally opposite of hifumi who likes pop-upbeat musics. Orchesterals and calm Anisongs (like 'Your Lie in April's Opening) would be the thing that he listens to in spotify.

- he actually would be a akatsuki stan (from ensemble stars) he would follow their dance moves, and will straight up sing the songs out loud.

He would be biased towards keito, because he is very cool in his opinion

- he eats whatever, for him, human food are good as dreams that he has ate.

- He actually had a different tactic for pranking the MC. But he changed it anyway after hanawo explained why he shouldn't played pranks too much on a Girl like MC.

- Problem Child #1 in the Yokai Gang because of his pranks.

Zakuro :

- he thought that humans are pathethic creatures at first because of how he thinks living immortality is better than living mortality.

- he is easily embarassed if there is something flirtious. This includes seduction ofc.

- he will probably blasts My Chemical Romance songs secretly because he is been through a lot of things that made his mentality go low.

- or maybe like : maneskin, cigarettes after sex, metallica, or maybe some hollywood undead since he be vibin to the rock vibe that they have.

- somewhere in the room : TEENAGERS SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME!.

- hates his tail because it's kind of blocking his way whenever he walks. And it disturbs his sleeps too.

- rather calm while eating. But still, if you bothered him, he'll go mad lol.

- he likes learning about chemicals. And he is also interested on theories too.

Iriya :

- He likes having a chill time beside a pond/lake. It's just the sound of the waters that kept him calm.

- he loves to pray on people and paralyze them. He always see the paralyzed people being his succeeds.

- hifumi saved his number as "sadist paralyzer"

- but you know, that sadistic personality is tiresome for him. He just want to relax, okay?

- really likes drinks A LOT : like, Soda, Cocktails, Sparkling water? Yeah this dude is quite a beverage lover. And he is a cola person, so yeah.

- ever got dragged by toneri to watch a H genre Anime. (And he dosen't know why tf he was dragged)

- Really likes ✨seductive✨ songs. Like you know "Careless Whisper" or any song with Sax included? That is his thing.

- he even used that song for an idea to tease zakuro lol.

- Make sure your house had an air conditioner since he hates heat.

Merry :

- likes softcore and elegant aesthethics. Esspecially if it has a beige colour because it's his vibe.

- he creates the group chat and named it "Yokai Gang".

- he likes physical touch eventhough he is shy. He is a huge cuddlebug to MC.

- he is rather shy about sensual things, which is why him and toneri's interactions are wacky as hecc.

- he'd use some emojis like : 😉, 🤗, 🥰, 😳, 😅 based on his reactons.

- music-wise, he listens to idol songs. Like Perfume, Poppin' Party, Happy Around!. Just these because he founds out about idol franchises in accident.

- cue dancing with toneri until toneri changes the song into a flirty song.

- "Toneri, why do you changed the song?" Merry Says, "Well because i'm not a huge idol fan so i decided to changed it!" Toneri said w/ a grin.

- he is always seen buying hamburger skewers in festivals.

- he does like woman's curves in the back. But he hates it when her undergarment would shown.

Arahagi :

- likes kittens so much, would even hold it in his hands and nuzzle the kitten.

- probably had tiktok and twt. He be like . "hey everyone, it's arahagi and it's just another day that toneri and zakuro argued".

- would painted his nails ✨beautifully✨.

- listens to material gworl. Like srsly, i bet he would be memeing about it to others.

- listens to cupcakke for fun and memes.

- feisty shortie.

- gets crazy if he saw a ball. Or a wool.

- loves thicc thighs, for him, it's a good lap for a pillow.

- hates water because he is a cat himself.

Toneri :

- does anything to make the MC happy.

- he is dependent on things that the MC wants. Sensuality? He'll do it, Romantic? He'll do it.

- Watches H Animes and Animes w/ Fanservice. he is really into busty girls so much that he actually would dream of having it with MC.

- Listens to Dirty Musics. Like any music that is sussy, that's his alley.

- Would watch AnimeFesta bullcrap. (If you know 'sweet punishment' you'll know what i am talking about rn) and would even drag someone to watch it (either MC because he thought it was a good idea liking someone like that, Iriya because of him being 'adult-like', and lastly hifumi because he doesn't care lol).

- because of this, hanawo lecture him so much that it was TOTALLY WRONG to love someone like that way.

- Him and Zakuro often argues a lot on situations/disscussions about sensual shit.

- would join tiktok trends with arahagi. And most of it are pretty good.

- He dislikes all vegetables in general.

- he is the one who recommended Holywood Undead to Zakuro. He probably listened to 'Everywhere i Go' many times.

Hanawo :

- Sassy Boy Material.

- The Mom of the Group. Even Hifumi calls him "Hanamom".

- Would do tiktok trends with arahagi. Mostly about beauty or cosmetics though.

- he would vibe along with toneri. Like srsly, he doesn't mind the song being sussy at all at least it's a bop.

- also listens to cupcakke for meme shit.

- the one who is pretty experienced when it comes to relationship. He would gave dating tips to others so they could love MC in the Correct Way.

- he would even search it in the internet for that lol.

- a clean freak. If there's anything dirty, he would probs call others to help him cleaning smth (Reference to one of his line stickers).

- Listens to idol hell songs like merry, but he likes western artists too. He loves Sam Smith, Katy Perry, or any other artist/rappers with Bop-y songs.

- "You've been falling in love, oh oh oh oh. CALIFORNIA GIRLS WERE UNFORGETTABLE DAISY DUKES BIKINIS ON TOP SUN KISS SKIN SO HOT WILL MELT YOUR POPSICLE-"

- others will joined the callifornia girls dance meme. Especially Hifumi, Utashiro, or Toneri.

- he will go like "m'lady" and straight up throws rose petals dramatically for his entrance. And has done it when MC came into his place.

#yuugen romantica

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ladyeliot · 3 years

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Dance with me

Request: Anonymous: Hi saw your post for the Valentine’s Day request and that’s really cause that’s my birthday too so yay 😀 anyway how abt a tony x reader exes angstfluff thanks

Pairing: Tony Stark x Fem!Reader

Summary: As is customary on Valentine's Day, a charity gala is held by your company to raise funds, but this year you'll have to face it alone - your ex-boyfriend won't be with you, or maybe he will?

Warnings: Angst and a bit fluff.

Word count: 2712

A/N: Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Valentine’s Day (Prompts)

Your company's annual fundraising party couldn't be more ill-timed. You still didn't understand why it had to be held on 14 February, well you had a pretty good idea. Year after year the upper echelons of New York City and its environs gathered together, more than for a charitable cause, to find the next gossip that would be the most talked about for months to come.

In years past, the only thing that had saved you from the suffering and discomfort you felt every time you walked through the door was your companion, your partner, but that year you had to face all those vipers on your own. The relationship with Tony Stark had come to an end after four years, more than mutually, you took a big part in that decision. Things were becoming difficult for you, it was hard to overcome all the events he was involved in day by day, as well as his constant attempts to save himself from death. You couldn't cope.

It was arguably the most complicated decision you had ever made in your life, there was a long and complex history, your relationship was by no means simple, nor was it easy to begin with, so obviously it wasn't easy to end. You had to endure news that reported Iron Man's disappearance, that he was badly injured and some had even given him up for dead, then everything was solved, but you didn't want to see the day when he really was, you couldn't bear it. It wasn't easy for him either, he was afraid that his actions would put you in danger, so he understood what you were telling him, he accepted your decision and accepted it in the end. You also accepted his decision to go on with his life as a superhero, you could never ask him to do otherwise.

The Frick Collection art museum on Manhattan's Upper East Side was the selected venue for the charity event. It had been ranked for two consecutive years as "one of the most memorable parties of the year" by the New York Times, but your viewpoint was far from those words. Unlike the vast majority of those present you made a rather discreet entrance, you had made the decision to stay calm and leave as soon as possible, so you would have a few drinks, chat with the guests and put the day behind you as soon as possible. After all, it was your duty to get your company's guests to donate as much money as possible to charity.

You could not deny that the atmosphere was not pleasant, visually you found yourself enveloped by numerous pieces of art accompanied by the sweet melody of an orchestra that filled the atmosphere. The architectural elements of the place also generated an escape from the outside world. Generally the conversations were banal, related to work, art, politics or social life, nothing you couldn't cope with, plus the glass of champagne you were holding in your right hand helped with that.

The problem came when they began to notice that you were not accompanied by Mr. Stark on this occasion. Time after time it was your turn to report that the two of you had decided to go your separate ways, and time after time you had to listen to the lamentations, looks of pity, and on several occasions critical remarks about him. What you didn't know was that in the crowd there was a pair of curious eyes watching you.

Your limit was coming to an end, so you decided to escape the atmosphere for a few minutes to get some fresh air, you needed a breather if you were to last a couple of hours in this place. The gardens were just as engrossing as the interior. There was not a single leaf protruding from the vegetation, and the singing of the fountain water professed a relationship in your body, no one could tell you were in the middle of the island of Manhattan.

"Have you given up already?" you closed your eyes as you heard that tone of voice behind you. "I was surprised to see you talking so long with Mrs. Fox, at one point I even thought you were going to spill the champagne on her dress."

Without turning around you smiled at his words, for more than once you had thought of throwing your glass of champagne at them and leaving the place.

"You look beautiful tonight," you felt her voice grow closer. "You've always known I love that dress."

Her body was so close to you that you felt her jacket brush lightly against her bare back. At no time had it crossed your mind that Tony would show up there that night, on the contrary, you thought he would be anywhere else but New York. Taking a breath of air into your lungs, giving yourself strength, you decided to turn around and face him face to face. You hadn't seen each other for months and the last time you did, things didn't go so well, so you hadn't spoken to each other again.

"What are you doing here, Tony?" you asked in a serious tone, which didn't surprise him.

"Assuming this is a benefit party," he began holding out his hands, "I'm guessing drinking several dry martinis, Scotch, champagne, putting up with comments I don't care about and letting them praise me to get my money's worth."

"I thought you hated these kinds of parties," you expounded somewhat uncomfortably at the situation.

"And I do," he stated bluntly, taking a sip of his martini. "But you have to think about charity too, don't you?"

You knew him well enough to differentiate his tones in conversations, you knew when he was using his ironic tone, when he was lying, when he was insecure or when he was speaking from within. On this occasion his words contained extra information that he wasn't telling you, so you opted to give up on him, you had to deal with the people inside that building, you couldn't start a war with Tony right now.

"In that case," you started to walk away towards the inside of the museum, "I hope you enjoy your evening, Tony".

You had left Tony and his dry martini behind, now all you had to do was get through a couple more hours without incident and the day could be over. You picked up another glass of champagne from the tray of one of the waiters and before you could look for a target you were already inside a group of investors of your company showing the best of your smiles.

You kept the thought of him being there from your mind, but it was practically unavoidable for you. You didn't want to destabilise yourself, but it was more than evident that you still felt something towards Tony, feelings don't go away overnight and even more so towards a person you had loved with all your being. He knew it, he had an advantage in that sense, you weren't as good as him at hiding feelings, that's why you chose to stay as far away as possible from your ex-partner. But it wasn't possible.

"Mr. Herbert, Mr. Johnson," as if out of nowhere he joined the group you were conversing with. "Oh, Mrs. Johnson, you look splendid tonight."

Tony's compliments fell on Mrs. Johnson, who blushed when she heard them. Who didn't blush when someone like him told you how beautiful you were? He had a superhuman power over people, and he played it really well.

"Would you allow me to steal Miss Y/L/N from you?" he asked flashing a smile on his face.

"Please," they offered.

"Excuse me," you said with little escape. "I won't be long."

As if you didn't have a word in the matter Tony tackled you, walking a couple of feet away from the group with whom you were getting to close a big deal for the future of the company.

"Tony was about to-"

"Dance with me," he said curtly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"What?" you asked a little puzzled.

His brown eyes stared into yours. You began to get a little nervous at the intensity of his gaze, so you looked around.

"Dance with me."

"I... I don't have time to dance with you," you explained, gesturing with your hands. "I'm here working, you know that better than anyone."

"I know," he nodded his head without taking his eyes off you. "That's why I'm asking you to dance with me. You know I'm the biggest benefactor of the night. So... dance with me." Tony lowered the tone of his voice, more seductive, one you knew perfectly well.

"Are you... blackmailing me? Or, worse, are you buying me with money?" you asked with a somewhat surly frown.

"I wasn't the one who said you were working," he defended himself. "But looking at it that way... there's no one else here who would get the money out of me."

"I thought you were doing this for charity," you attacked him.

"And I am," he said with all the confidence in the world. "But I need you to give your hand out to please me, too."

Tony offered you his hand along with a slight smile slanted across his face. You were playing with fire, you really would be if you decided to take his hand and surrender at his feet. The night would turn around completely, but what you feared most was how it would end. Inside you two opposing parts were fighting to select the best decision, on the one hand your brain was literally telling you to reject him and get out of there as soon as possible, on the other hand your emotions were screaming at you to take his hand and let yourself go. Whatever you did, you were likely to regret it later, so you chose to regret doing it.

You took a breath and released him by placing your hand on his, which amplified his smile even more. Without a second thought, he led you to the dance floor, where the melody coming from a group of musicians could be heard with more effusiveness. It was relaxed, soothing, inviting you to dance in pairs. Tony gently pulled you to his body and placed the palm of his hand on your bare back, too far south for your liking, on the contrary, you placed it on his shoulder.

"Relax," he whispered inches from your face. "We've done this many times."

"I'm relaxed," you lied in a way he couldn't quite believe, so you tried to justify yourself. "I'm just thinking that I should go with Mr. Johnson to-"

"Oh, you're thinking about another man while you're dancing with me?" he asked cutting you off with mock indignation. "Very nice."

You ducked your face with a small smile, which he himself returned along with an intense stare.

"Did I tell you that you look amazing tonight?" he asked, searching your gaze.

"I think you commented on it when we met in the garden," you said, trying not to fall for his charms.

"Then I'll reaffirm it again," his martini breath reached you. "You look beautiful. Plus you're wearing the perfume I gave you."

Discomfort at his words came back to you, and though you avoided showing it your unconscious inspections of your surroundings, avoiding eye contact gave you away.

"Look at me," he demanded.

As you complied with his request, you realised that you didn't know if you would be able to go through with it. The proximity you were having created an intimate situation that was causing numerous memories and feelings to come to your mind and body. For Tony it might have been easy, but for you it wasn't, mostly because you knew that when it was over you were going to go home, to face the reality that he was no longer present. You were not as strong as he was. You hadn't seen him for months, since you broke up, and you knew that it was going to end up hurting you, so you decided to put an end to that dream.

"I think..." you dropped your hand from his shoulder. "I can't go on."

With a calm step you walked away from him, leaving him alone among the other dancing couples, forced a small smile to dedicate it to those people who waved at you as you passed them and headed back outside, finding a place under the night to regain lost strength, praying that Tony wouldn't show up there again. But he wasn't giving up so easily.

"Are you okay?" his figure appeared behind you.

A lump took over your throat as you heard his voice again. You took a deep breath and told yourself to be as nonchalant as possible about the situation.

"Yeah, I just needed to get some air," you commented impassively.

"Okay, I thought you looked a little uncomfortable," he commented, moving to your left side. "You know, it was just a dance."

"Are you kidding me, just a dance?" you said somewhat offended that he barely noticed. "Okay, fine, maybe it's just a dance for you, but it wasn't for me." You had already started to blurt out everything you were thinking, so now you decided not to stop. "These last few months have been horrible, but I was finally starting to take charge of my life completely, and this is a step backwards, I don't want to fall."

"Fall?" Tony cocked his head to one side, clicking his tongue a little. "Do you...do you think these past few months have been easy for me? Because I reckon you think it has been, that I've been 'enjoying the freedom', as you called it."

Tony reminded you of some of the words that came out of your mouth the last time you met at his house, when you went to pick up your things, a fact that embarrassed you greatly.

"I don't think that," you defended yourself by turning away.

"It seems so," his words were firm, as was the step he took towards you. "Listen, I think you know me better than anyone, and just because I don't have the facility you do to show how I feel doesn't mean I'm not affected by things. In case you're interested to know, I haven't left the lab in five months."

The expression on Tony's face had hardened, as had his words.

"I came here with the sole intention of seeing you, of feeling something again," he clenched his jaw.

"And what position does that put me in?" you asked raising your tone as he did and boring your eyes into his. "You come here, you see me, you feel something and you disappear..."

"Who said anything about disappearing?" he frowned lifting his chin.

"Tony, I don't know with what intention you came here tonight or what you expected to happen," you said, feeling more vulnerable, with a tone of sadness, "but what is clear is that we made a decision and no matter how hard it is, we must accept it. It is clear that there are still feelings, at least on my part, but let's put the past behind us," you paused under his watchful gaze. "I'd better get going."

Saying those words and checking the stiffness in Tony's countenance you opted to continue on your way.

"Wait," Tony stopped your steps by grabbing your arm. "You think I can let you go after what you just said?"

"Enjoy your night, Tony."

That's how for the first time you were brave enough to take back the reins of your life, closing the door to the past and opening a window to the future.

Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

#tony stark x reader #tony stark #tony stark x you #y/n #prompts #drabbles #valentine's prompts #valentine's day #tony stark imagine #imagines #iron man #iron man x reader #marvel fan fiction #fan fiction #fanfic #ff #angst #fluff

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lunartearrose · 2 years

Note

Ayo random as FUCK ship for the ship meme but I've been thinking about em recently, thoughts on doublemega?

Bing! Interesting! I feel like the two have big "protect Vintage at all cost" vibes especially post arcs

They listen to avenge sevenfold together and sing along together while attempting to make sense of the xblood livingspace and omega finds rock music in the bg just kind of sways double to do whatever she wants like a puppy recieving positive enforcement. As long as hes having a good time he does stuff good (but i mean thats true for me too. Im pubby)

I also think the punk vibes about them work well! They are both the punk/goth saving kittens in the rain. They turn to notice each other and know their teammates have no power to stop them both if they find enough catfish

Vintage may be rank king but he may be easily overthrown by their might

Also *swings* m/f ships in coroika are valid af i know its not that major but like. Bisexuals and aromantics/asexuals exist and i value a wide range of hcs for these charas bc p r o j e c t i n g and also like. I could say more on my views abt characters but ill just say headcanons are fluid and ive hc'd charas multiple conflicting genders and sexualities and like. Its all for fun! Blorbos!

My bees nest aside i also believe they have a chat between each other thats just "mild food enjoyers" and when vintage breaks in its them sending bowls of ramen and going "man i am glad this isnt spiced to oblivion imagine being like that" and double asding pepper or something to a dish like "omg omega im living dangerously" and shes like "too spicy for chat" and its just a lot of them making a joke out of their weak spice constitution (also if omega has spicy spice it gives her an upset tum so she avoids it. Fite me)

#doublemega

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angelthebedsheet · 4 years

Text

a/n: @tom-hlover i hope this was to your liking! it was a lil hard but i do love tom holland’s spidey so here it is! i just assumed that it was a romantic relationship too !!

lets get it!

——————————————————————————-

okay so first things first?

yall are ATTACHED at the hip

ned and mj clown peter for this all the fucking TIME

like he always walks you to class and sits next to you in class

peter we get it you want this melanin dial it back

and you are a superhero FIEND

anyone who knows you knows you go feral for superheroes and spiderman specifically

mj knows this, ned knows this, peter definitely knows this

mj always just gotta give peter a look like

whenever you start gushing about whatever spidey did that night

“peter did you see him last night?! he looked so amazing!”

“ah yeah n/n i saw!”

internal SCREAMING

like his beautiful amazing talented spectacular crush and best friend is fawning over him ???

mind boggling brothers

i mean your lockscreen is one of those press hold ones that move? so at first it’s a group picture of you, peter, mj and ned then you hold and boom its spidey swinging

peter found this out by accident and simply lost his mind in his room

you would do ANYTHING to see spidey in action and anYTHING TO HELP

bbg just wanna be a hero too 🤪

this day peter couldn’t come over to your house this time bc of his internship and had to leave early

aka code word for spidey shit to do lmao

and you’re a lil bummed

“but petey it’s wednesday and we were supposed watch mean girls and legally blonde.”

“i-i know i’m sorry n/n i’ll make it up to you”

mj and ned heard that and LOST IT

you frowned watching peter book it outta there like the lights were out

i mean my mans usain bolted it

mj and ned couldnt go home with you either so that sucked

you didnt usually walk home by yourself and honestly you really didn’t want to

it mf queens man. it’s not the safest place in the world

you started walking home and decided to buy some snacks n shit bc you saw them glazed donuts lookin real SCRUMPTIOUS AND FRESH in that packet

now you got the snacks secured in your bag and ready to go

you’re walking down the sidewalk when you hear some grunts and scrapping sounds?

you look down the alleyway and literally see your idol spiderman cornered

nuh uh not on your watch

you dropped your bookbag and tied ya braids/locks/afro back and took a running start

just as spidey was about to get punched you KICKED that mf straight in the cheek

spidey is like ????

“get got bitch!”

y/n???? awSHIT

its YOU

on one hand that was badass and two WHY ARE YOU HERE AND NOT HOME???

you grabbed a random pipe laying around and went ham on that bitch

peter is like confused and panicking as he stands up

you are handling your shit you aint need no mf powers

you got the black nasties on that was powerful enough

you are deadass yelling BITCH each time you hit them

peter snaps outta it and pulls you back

bc damn they knocked out alr you were bashing that hoe IN

you drop the pipe and turn to spidey with that big ol smile

peter felt his knees buckle

“you okay spidey? you looked like you needed some help?”

holy shit?

“u-uh t-thank you y–miss”

he had to speak from the belly with that

(i can hear my chorus teacher going SING FROM YOUR DIAPHRAGM)

while yall chatting it up another villain swooped in and threw some shit at yall?

idk how to describe it but it damn near almost impaled you but thankfully peter’s spidey sense kicked in and he pulled you out of the way

even though now you’re in fucking DANGER you’re losing your mind bc you are pressed up against peter’s chest

like damn spidey you really built like that?

peter on the other hand is like shit

cant let the loml aka crush slash bestfriend get hurt but i gotta fight these mfs....

he’s like fuck it man we gon dip just this once and picks you up

“hold onto me real quick?”

“o-oh okay????”

you’re living the fuckin DREAM and wrap your arms around his neck

peter’s trying to stay professional but ... girl you smell good asf and you basically intoxicating babyboy

then he just tHWIPS it outta there and hooks his foot onto your bookbag

shit was sexc even tho that didnt make much sense

yall SWINGING thru the streets with a lil funk and soul

you’re fully living the dream now baby!

he kinda just kicks his foot up and you catch your bookbag before wrapping your arms around his neck again

he swings yall onto a building roof top and you’re in awe

you’ve never seen queens like this before

he lets you go

“woah....”

“beautiful right? one of the benefits of being able to swing around”

“i know thats right...”

he’s just admiring you now

lil did we know tony stark PEEPED that shit thaNKS KAREN

you noticed spidey just staring at you and you lwk feel your cheeks heat up (bc black people don’t blush ❤️)

spidey you deadass left two CRIMINALS out in the open like hurry up

“h-hey can we take a picture together? i wanna show my petey that i met you!”

MY PETEY?????

“o-oh uh sure? also who’s.... who’s petey?”

“oh he’s my best friend! technically his name is peter but i love giving him nicknames.”

bitch oh???

you turned on your phone and show him your lockscreen pointing at peter

“isnt he just adorable?”

palms are sweaty knees weak arms are heavy

“ah. do you. do you like him?”

you kinda just unlock your phone while looking away

“y-yeah i mean who wouldn’t? he’s perfect... 👉🏽👈🏽”

PETER INTERNALLY WENT

bro HE’S ASCENDING

YOU LIKE HIM????

PETER PARKER???

HIMS???

THIS WHITE BOY FROM QUEENS?????

“you like peter?”

“yes.”

“peter parker?”

“yes?”

“oh thank god”

“i beg your pardon?”

PETER....

“oh i um i said that b-because i know him and im pretty sure he likes you back”

“oh???”

“y-yeah. he talks alot about you”

my mans are you really... snitching on yourself?

he really being his own wingman...

“really?”

“yup. i get it too. you’re. you’re beautiful.”

you went

😳

🕶🤏🏾

are my eyes deceiving me or is spiderman calling me BEAUTIFUL???

now yall both flustered

you’re thankful for your beautiful melaninated skin

peter’s thankful for that mf mask

“t-the picture”

“o-oh right”

cue tony PLOTTING like a mf

yall take two cute lil selfies together before spidey realizes he on the fuckin JOB

“ah i have to go let me take you home. where do you live?”

and you tell him your address even tho he already had it memorized by heart

he swang you to your doorstep and waved you goodnight before going back to handle those criminals

after that peter’s finally on his way home when tony pipes up

“was that the girl you always talk about”

“m-mr. stark??? you saw that??”

“all of it. she’s badass i want her on our team.”

“?!”

that night you got an email from tony stark and you RANG UP PETER SO QUICKLY TO LOSE YOUR SHIT ABT NOT ONLY TONY BUT SPIDEY TOO

“PETER OMFG BRO LOOOKKKKK I GOT AN EMAIL FROM TONY AND I ALSO MET SPIDERMAN TODAY. HAVE THE GODS FINALLY CHOSEN ME AS THEIR FAVORITE FOR TODAY????? JAJDJSJDNSKDNXN”

“t-that’s amazing n/n!”

the next day at school you absolutely GLOMPED him and mj

you are BUZZING with energy

mj’s kinda like?? did peter dick you down or some shit why you this hyped in the morning???

peter alr knows and is internally screaming into the void bc you like him back????

you’re already showing mj the pictures like “BRO LOOK HE EVEN HELD MY WAIST YESTERDAY!!”

ned is like 😏

mj is like 😌

they giving peter the LOOK

bc bro.... cmon now peter.

mj and ned dip leaving you to gush to peter alone

“do you think i can really be a hero petey?”

“d-definitely n/n i mean you did save spiderman yesterday”

“you’re right!”

peter has lost his shit too many times

“also petey. i like you alot.”

cheek kiss and dip

petey boy is stunned standing there in the halls like 😳

then he revives himself like ik this pretty bitch didnt just kiss and dip me like that

now he chasing you

alls good

mj and ned got blackmail too

#spiderman x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x black!reader #spiderman x black!reader #tom holland #tom holland’s spiderman #ned leeds #mj watson #x black reader #x female reader #spiderman headcanon

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phanlight · 3 years

Text

Imagine Living Like A King Someday

prompt: Southview Boarding School isn’t a castle and Phil Lester isn’t royalty, but he has everything. His father owns the school, he’s popular, has the best room, gets all the best treatment – there are very few things that aren’t handed to him on a platter. Dan is a cleaner/Phil’s personal maid there, and he isn’t as lucky. Everyone seems to take an aversion to the outsider, including Phil (at first).

[CHAPTER MASTERPOST]

theres something so funny to me abt having written all of this over a matter of months and then picking it up 4 entire years later like nothing happened

still thinking of the enormous steaming mess past left future me to clear up in terms of plot but i think we're finally there THANKS 2016 SHELLEY

[AO3 LINK]

Twenty-Three (fINALLY)

By far the best thing about this job, Dan decides, is the Thursday afternoons. They allow for a lull in the week, a window wherein Phil is enveloped in a research project and Noah equally as swallowed up in rehearsals. December being only a breath away had made for a sudden increase in workload for both of them; it seems leaving the holiday season for an actual holiday is far too big an ask for the education system. Dan feels sorry for them. He remembers his burning resentment toward academic responsibilities; how much he’d loathed being made to study while the sky loses its light. He’d taken pity on the pair of them and stocked up on various study supplies – all edible and a few drinkable, much to their delight. He’d left them with all the Kit-Kats, Doritos and Jaffa Cakes they’d possibly be able to cram into a four-hour session. He’s becoming something of a mother figure, he giggles when he tells Lawrence.

There’s something about conversations with someone as wise as the head caretaker, the nicest boss he’s ever had, that jolts everything back into perspective again. Sometimes, when anxiety gnaws and every breath feels uneasy, the only thing that helps is a few words of wisdom. Of true compassion. And as caring and as gentle as Phil is, sometimes it’s worth listening to someone over triple his age; with triple his life experience.

And way over triple his collection of mugs. They stand in rows in a cabinet next to the desk, a glass door keeping them on proud display (there’s no way he doesn’t polish that regularly). He can’t count the teas they’ve had together, but he’s never had the same mug twice. It makes the overall experience just that little bit more enjoyable; a guaranteed smile no matter how bleak the day.

“Wallace, or Gromit?” is the first thing Lawrence says when Dan creaks open the door.

He frowns. Bit of an odd way to say hello, but he’s had weirder.

“Sorry?”

“If you had to pick?”

Dan chuckles, his frown melting away. Months of this place has made him warmly familiar with Lawrence’s eccentricities and quick-fire questions upon entering. The only one who works here with a personality, Phil often calls him, before quickly adding Below fifty, of course.

“Gromit,” he says decidedly. “He’s cute.”

“Gromit it is,” he whips around, presenting Dan with a steaming ceramic version of the dog, his left ear protruding into a handle.

“How did I not see that coming?” Dan chuckles, taking the mug and nearly burning his fingertips. “Thanks,” he sips a little too quickly. “Let me guess; you have a Wallace one too?”

“A-ha!” Lawrence spins around again holding with an identically sized mug, the other character still grinning despite having a head full of boiling hot liquid.

“You never cease to amaze me,” Dan grins, shaking his head in disbelief. He plops himself down on Lawrence’s enormous armchair, shifting a jacket off of the seat. Despite his repeated insistence that he really doesn’t mind and the stool looks really comfy, actually; Lawrence insists he takes his chair every single time he comes over.

‘It’s just lovely to have a chat with you, kid,’ he’d say. ‘I don’t get many visitors.’

The whole thing swamps Dan’s small frame, the upholstery devouring most of him, but the comfort is unbeatable. He could fall asleep here.

“Look at his nose! His- look at that! Hey- you’re missing it!”

Dan’s eyes dart around the room. “Wait- what?”

“The mug!” he urges.

Dan frowns, peering at the steaming Wallace. His grin looks like the taste of Brie.

“It’s-…” he squints. “Big?”

“Not mine you daft thing- yours!” he points.

“Mine?” Dan looks down. Gromit stares forward, his black button now a cherry red. “Oh!”

“Clever, that, ain’t it?” Lawrence enthuses, his eyes shimmering. “Must be a heat detector! I don’t know how they do it, these things,” he beams. “It’s like they’re finding something new every day.”

Dan’s heart glows. It would come as no surprise if he’d been waiting all week to show him that.

“I’ll keep an eye out for it next time,” Dan smiles, looking down. “I used to have a Pac-Man mug that did a similar thing, actually.”

“Pac-Man, eh?” Lawrence says as if it’s the eleventh Grand Theft Auto. “What used to happen? Did he do his little routine?”

“Not quite,” Dan giggles, assuming his ‘little routine’ constituted flying around a maze uncontrollably. “The ghosts just appeared. Nothing moved, though.”

“That’ll be the next step, I tell you,” Lawrence says. “Goodness knows what they’ll be able to do even one year from now. Come next Christmas you’ll be buying me a mug that can sing.”

Dan’s grin doesn’t stop. How someone so many times his age can still bear such child-like enthusiasm for the small things really is something treasurable. The gem of Southview, he decides as he takes another sip and studies the bottle opener collection beside him. Lawrence makes this job bearable. Worthwhile.

He doesn’t tell him such mugs actually exist; doesn’t let on the Cherusker stein is a particular favourite of his. The cabinet full of them was in fact possibly the only tolerable aspect of the May Fair experience; – he’d forever spend lounge duty dusting them, lifting every one and smiling as gentle lullabies spilled out until barked at to ‘stop wasting time’. He makes a mental note to make another addition to his Christmas shopping list. He’s certain Lawrence is aware of their existence, but he’s sure he wouldn’t be expecting to unwrap one only three weeks from now. Seeing those eyes crinkle with joy under years of laughter lines is a gift in itself.

He only realizes he’s smiling when Lawrence matches his grin.

“You’re at a funny age,” he sighs, clinking the spoon against the china. He places it on an Abbey Road coaster. “That’s what my mother used to say,” he pauses, forehead lined with thought. “Mind you, she’s been saying that at every age I’ve been,” there’s a silence. “Even now.”

Dan grins, imagining a woman twenty-odd years older but about a metre shorter. It warms his heart to hear she’s still with him, with them. Here.

“What does that say, eh?” he continues. “There’s never an age you’re going to look back and everything around you will have fallen into place. Never a moment you’ll dust off your hands and think ‘well, that was easy’. Because that isn’t life.”

The final sentence resounds all around the hemisphere of his consciousness. What absolute truth there is to be found in that.

This is precisely what he loves about his conversations with Lawrence. It isn’t just the tea. Not even the comfort both physical and emotional alike; the guarantee that whatever he confesses to doing won’t go any further than the office walls. It isn’t even the advice- which he’d go so far as to admit is more beneficial than Phil’s, at certain times (there’s just something about hearing it from someone who’s double their combined age).

It’s the lack of judgement. The listening ear. The only person he can truly guarantee is without a single trace of bias or underlying ulterior motive. The ‘I’ve experienced, lived, truly knocked down but bounced back every time’ tone that resonates through every pebble of advice, each wise word he gifts away.

And he feels safe, talking to him. He feels comfortable. It’s everything every single past job wasn’t, and even now, when Dan drags a scalding sip to his lips and listens to Lawrence’s stories, his pellets of wisdom and anecdote after anecdote involving life in the Sixties, he realizes he’s truly safe here. Happy, almost.

“How old is she? Your mother?” The question escapes his lips before he can exercise any control over what he’s asking. Shit, he hopes that wasn’t too personal. Not a lot of things are off-limits when it comes to conversations with Lawrence, but boundaries are still unclear.

Lawrence remains unfazed, his expression still thoughtfully soft.

“She’ll be ninety-eight this June.”

“Eighty-eight?” Dan frowns. He must have heard that wrong.

Lawrence points a finger to the ceiling. “Up ten.”

His jaw drops.

“Wow.”

“Yep,” Lawrence contradicts with a warm head nod. “She’s lived through a lot, has our Maggie.”

“I can imagine,” Dan breathes, leaning against the desk. His respective lifespan has already thrown enough in his direction. He can’t imagine what four times that would be.

“Lived through two world wars, bless her,” he sighs, his eyes studying the windowsill. “Lord alone knows what the woman must have witnessed,” his eyes flicker to Dan. “Then bringing up three kids on top of that,” he shakes his head, slurping the steam. “I don’t know how she does it. Still going strong, mind. She’s an angel.”

“Truly,” Dan sighs, his gaze leaning further and further out of the window. A crow comes to a soaring descent onto one of the branches, leaving a flutter of yellow leaves in its wake. If he narrows his eyes he can make out the very outline of a nest somewhere further in. “You’re lucky to have her,” he says before his thoughts can catch up.

Lawrence huffs out a chuckle. “You sound almost as old as I do, kid,” he hesitates. “Though you’re right. I am. I love her.” There’s a silence. “And I make sure I tell her every single day.”

Something tightens in the back of Dan’s throat. He blinks a couple of times, sipping carefully. “That’s lovely,” he mumbles into the mug, masking the crack he knew was going to appear in his voice.

“It’s important to say it as often as you can, you know,” he says, tearing open a box of Leibniz and giving Dan the first pick. They’re orange – his favourite. Last week’s rant over the white chocolate ones had clearly been taken on board. “However you say it. In whichever respect you mean it. You have to tell them how much they mean to you. You have to tell them you love them.”

A crumb goes down the wrong way.

“Careful, kid,” Lawrence gives him a firm thump on the back. Dan erupts into coughs, pausing to choke on his own breath a handful of times.

“You okay?”

It’s an amusing question given he’s a shade of scarlet and can only gasp in response, but he nods anyway, reaching for the tea.

All good, he mouths.

A couple of scalding sips later his lungs finally begin to recalibrate.

“Fuck-…” he huffs out a sigh. “I don’t know where that came from- I-…” he chokes again. “You’re right, though, about the-” another cough interrupts him.

“You’re meant to eat it, not inhale it,” Lawrence chuckles. “You donut. Here-“ he pulls out a drawer, scrabbling through loose sheets of kitchen roll and various CDs (without cases, much to Dan’s anxiety) before thrusting a half-opened packet of Soothers into his hand. “Finish them off, kid.”

“Oh, Lawrence,” Dan’s heart all but melts. “Thank you.”

He only takes one, but Lawrence insists he keeps them.

“Just in case you inhale your dinner tonight,” he chuckles, before adding, “Don’t you go choking on that, for God’s sake.”

“The irony of choking on a Soother,” Dan giggles. his speech a little indistinct. They’re a little on the sticky side but they still taste good. The peach ones have always been his favourite.

“Remember what I said,” he reminds him as Dan chews.

“Thank you,” he says again.

“Not at all, pet,” he smiles. “They need eating up.”

Dan chuckles. “I meant for the-…” he trails off when he spots the gleam in the older man’s eye. He doesn’t even need to finish his sentence to know he knows.

“It’s my pleasure. As long as I can be useful for something,” he raises his chipped mug to his lips as if it’s a champagne glass. “Always remember to give your energy to the right things. And the right people.”

Dan smiles, twining a loose thread around his pinkie. Another pellet of wisdom to come back to when he feels his mind darkening.

“I never used to be much good at that,” he admits. “The right people were always the wrong.”

“Ah, but never forget how far you’ve come,” Lawrence says. “You’re telling me things you wouldn’t have even been able to even think about months ago.”

Dan looks up. “Seriously?” Shit, he hadn’t even noticed.

“Would I be joking?” Lawrence simply says, furrowing a large silver eyebrow. Dan looks down at his tea, sipping carefully. It’s reached a perfect temperature, the liquid hugging his lips. “You tend not to be able to see your own progress, but others can. Others do,” he insists, grey eyes promising.

Dan feels like he’s going to cry.

“Thank you,” he breathes, disguising his mouth with the mug again.

“You don’t need to thank me, kid,” he chuckles.

“It’s unbelievably hard not to,” Dan admits, chuckling too. His eyes threaten tears but he can’t stop grinning.

“If anything, I should be thanking you,” he says.

Dan stares at him.

“Me? What for?”

“Oh, kid,” Lawrence sighs, his eyes glittering. “You have no idea how much I appreciate you. We’ve had some real characters in and out of here, I’m telling you – between you and me, and don’t even let this get to Phil, but-…” he shakes his head, his eyes following another crow headed in the same direction. He’s probably watching the same tree; Dan briefly thinks before he continues. “Some were okay,” he says almost as if to convince himself if anyone. “Mary, she was lovely. But some,” he closes his eyes, shaking his head. “Look- I really shouldn’t be telling you this- Lord alone knows how unprofessional it is to be-“

“I wouldn’t worry,” Dan interjects, immediately apologizing for interrupting. “Workplaces harbor all manner of dark secrets. I’m sure a little venting about a couple of difficult colleagues doesn’t even come close.”

Lawrence chuckles, dusting biscuit crumbs off of the desk. “That I can’t argue with, kid,” he continues wiping, as if to process his next thought. “I’m not one to speak ill of people- of anyone, but-…’ he shakes his head. ‘You have no idea how much easier a time you give me, kid. It’s a joy to have you here,” he lowers his voice. “Some of them didn’t even turn up.”

Dan feels his face burn a little. Something warm floods through his veins. Shit, he’s never been told anything like that before. Never anything even remotely close. There’s also something particularly wholesome about Lawrence giving a recount of lousy employees like it’s a business-shattering affair, all hushed tones and closed doors.

“It’s great to be here,” he says quickly, his heart thumping. “It really is. It-…” he stops himself, interrupted by the abundance of possible phrases. Saved me, is the only one that adheres.

“I know,” Lawrence says before he can even open his mouth. He reaches forward and gives his knee a quick pat, and Dan wonders how such a small motion can harbour such reassurance. He doesn’t even need to finish his sentences he’s this understanding. “You’re a delight of an employee, I hope you realize,” he grins. “Everything you do is so appreciated here, kid. I ought to tell you that more often,” he pauses. “Sometimes the advice we give is advice we need to take ourselves, eh?

“And vice-versa,” Dan smiles, before hesitating. “Maybe I ought to express myself more.”

“Oh, you already do, kid,” Lawrence says. “We know.”

Dan’s grinning at his tea when he catches the end of his sentence.

“Especially Phil, did you say?”

“Oh, tell me about it. He can’t speak too highly of you, can our Phil. He can’t stop talking about you altogether, mind. ‘The Dan Button’, we call it.”

This conversation isn’t doing Dan’s sensitive blush reflex any favours whatsoever, but he’s past caring. He’s something of an open book to Lawrence anyway.

He stares at the row of vintage Cadbury mugs lining the top shelf of the cabinet (the 1970s Caramel edition is his favourite – there’s just something about the golden writing) as he continues. He wonders if he has a Phil Button. Does he talk about him a lot? Fuck, he hasn’t even thought about it. Usually there’s so much to say; whether it be an anecdote from the passing day or a conversation they’d had or something they’d watched or witnessed or read. It’s difficult to keep track of his own train of thought whenever anyone mentions him. The topic usually leads itself, his own mouth merely a guide. He’ll have to ask Noah if it’s getting excessive.

His eyes stay with the branch. The two crows huddle around the nest-like cluster. By the time this conversation is over the tree will probably be completely leaf-less, he notices as more fall.

“I don’t have a Phil Button, do I?” he says before he can stop himself. Fuck. He just couldn’t resist.

Lawrence only smiles. An eyebrow thinks about twitching upward.

Dan smirks at the silence. Okay. Enough said.

“You kids,” he sighs, swallowing the remains of his tea. “Look out for each other, won’t you? Remember what I said. Tell people how much they mean to you. They aren’t mind-readers.”

Dan smiles, and promises.

“Always.”

Lawrence grins. “I’m glad you ended up here. Doctor Lester is particularly fond of you, y’know.”

Dan stares at him. Surely not. He’s never even seen the man talk, let alone crack anything close to a smile. Any communication between the two had always been by proxy – usually through Lawrence but Phil a lot of the time too. It’s eerily easy to forget they’re even related at all, let alone father and son.

“Oh yes,” he continues, reading his expression. “I shan’t embarrass you with the details, but he says it’s simply a delight to have you on board.”

Dan stares out of the window. Another crow had joined whom he had presumed to be the mother (how can you even tell with birds like that?), both fluttering close to their respective nest. More leaves fall with every judder.

“Well, that-…” he giggles, already feeling his face flush again. He’s going to have to invest in some makeup at this point. “That means a lot. To say the very least, I guess,” he widens his eyes, staring into space. “Wow. God, that’s-…” disbelief silences him. He shakes his head. “That’s the first time like-…” his eyes flicker wider. “Ever.”

“Yeah,” Lawrence remains tactfully quiet. Any allusions toward past jobs are always met with nothing other than gentle sympathy – never questions, never any further comments. Dan can’t thank him enough for that – the past is to be referred to, not relived. If its only reflective purpose is to one day be used as a comparison, something highlighting the incline of quality of life thereafter, then so be it. “You’re appreciated here, kid. By all of us,” he leans forward. “Between you and me, I think he can see how happy you’re making Phil. Y’didn’t hear that from me though, alright?” he nudges his foot with his own and throws him a quick wink.

Dan goes from pink to peony. He makes sure to chew his biscuit properly this time, dunking it in the remains of the tea. Another choking fit at his point would probably send him head-first into the recovery position. He doesn’t reckon being carried out of Mr. Headforth’s office on a stretcher would be his finest hour. Not when he’s finally made it onto the good side of the school, of the staff and communities therein; unusually tight-knit for such a vast population.

He looks up. He smiles.

“No, I didn’t.”

Lawrence’s eyes flicker down to his cheeks. He doesn’t need to say anything.

And I make sure I tell her every single day.

It resides with him for the rest of the afternoon, the phrase burning itself into his consciousness like a tattoo behind the eyes. He can’t let it go, not when he’s studying that pineapple streak the sunset left behind, Phil a breezy nuzzle to the cheek. Not when they’re pacing through the corridors somewhere in the evening, somewhere between the fall of the sun and the rise of the moon. Not even when their hair becomes a confusion of two shades and every breath is shared.

However you say it. In whichever respect you mean it.

He wonders how Lawrence tells her; his mother. When. Where. Does it depend on the day? The hour? Circumstance? He knows there are more than eight letters involved in the action, more than three words to its weight. Does the meaning bleed through his everyday phrases? When he asks her about her day? Whether she’s eaten?

He gulps, his heart thudding.

“Have you had lunch?” was how he’d greeted Phil this noon. “I have loads of pasta in the fridge. I made too much again.”

He stares at the ceiling.

“Text me when you get there,” was how he’d said goodbye this evening. It had started as a joke between the three of them – the campus, although spanning acre-upon-acre of land is still nothing but a speck when compared to the rest of the outside world – but had quickly become something of a tradition (to the extent Dan would often find himself receiving ‘i’m ok <3’ texts from someone in the next room as him).

“Take care,” is how he punctuates most ending conversations with the other boy in hindsight. Still eight letters. A different combination of such, albeit, but a mirrored meaning.

Oh god. He’s fucked.

You’re at a funny age, grey eyes remind him.

Every cell in his body agrees with that, and apparently it’s something they’ll have to get used to. It looks like that’ll never stop, not even after ninety-eight trips around the Sun.

Remember what I said.

Dan does.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan au #dan and phil #mywriting #writing #chaptered #im still refamiliarising myself w this so it might take a couple chapters to properly settle in #but i hope this is ok omg

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funky-boat-zone · 3 years

Text

the lighthouse chronicles: part 10/10

big birthday bash

how often do sapient vehicles celebrate their birthdays anyway? depending on how they process time, having their birthday/build date celebration every year could get excessive/tiring.

in one episode, there’s a really loud audio glitch that scared the shit out of me the first time i heard it. the problem is that i can’t remember what episode it was, just that it happened in a scene involving zorran (because of course it did)

top hat’s voice sounds really off fsr

ffs otis, you’re a grown adult. quit being so pouty to the literal child who gave away the surprise by accident.

never thought i’d say this, but i genuinely feel really bad for ten cents here. he’s just a kid who just made a mistake, and what do top hat and otis (adults) do? top hat rats him out to sunshine, and otis acts all passive aggressive towards him.

and even sunshine gets mad at him and says that they may as well just cancel the party!

“it’s okay, you can throw me a surprise party another time” or you could at least pretend to be surprised and try to enjoy the party because it’s the mature thing to do, otis?

“what do you want me to do, sink myself?” “not a bad idea” hey sunshine, what the fuck

the other tugs (seemingly) only forgive him because captain star told them to

and so the party happens and all is well except for the fact that no one apologizes to ten cents for being so awful to him over an honest mistake

stop the music

it’s a whole episode of singing. help

and yes, this is the episode where zorran raps

i am going to outlaw the snugboat harbor song fest

grampus sinking into the water and going “blblblblbl” is a mood

zorran no. zorran please don’t do it, i know you’re evil or sth but-

i thought you were better than this, zorran

“do you want to be famous?” “you mean i’m not already?”

unfortunately, this episode is where i got my headcanon that top hat can sing. i sincerely apologize

grampus dismisses top hat’s singing when he’s the only boat who can remotely carry a tune

sunshine’s voice is at its absolute most grating in this scene jfc

“i’ll never be ready for the song fest :(” (triumphant music playing in the bg)

hooray, “work together” or something, no moral is worth a whole episode of singing

let’s wing it

oh no, vegetable puns

zak’s voice is almost as cursed as zip’s

i never want to hear zorran say “mayonnaise” in any context for any reason ever again

why do the boats know what salad dressing is?

big stack, quit singing

“wish i could help” i appreciate the sentiment izzy, but you are a steam tramper, not a tug, and your dream of helping with the ocean liner can never be

and so we end on a vegetable pun

no strings attached

another music-themed episode?? oh no

another log jam?

are tugboats an instrument?

no patrick, tugboats are not an instrument

coast guard boats are not an instrument either

top hat using his horn/whistle to play the first few notes of the theme song implies that he’s aware of the fourth wall

ten cents, don’t bother cappy. he has important coast guard stuff to do

dammit ten cents, you pulled a coast guard vessel away from his job. people could die

love how ten cents talks abt cappy’s whistle and cappy is represented by a completely different boat.

the rhyming brings up memories of miller-era thomas. and that’s not a compliment

the song sounds like sth out of an obscure 16-bit game that’s only remembered for one song and only because that song was used in a meme

guilty gull

how rich are salty’s parents to get him a working, driveable toy car for his birthday?

you know an episode’s gonna be interesting when it starts with zug getting blamed for something he says he didn’t do

again with the fire barge! i’m banning zip and zug from having any contact with fire barges unless it’s an emergency

do you think billy’s aware that the tugs only really talk to him when they need him for arson?

i think he is, and he’s cool about it. billy, you deserve better. get some friends who see you for more than your skill at arson

f in the chat for zug, the snugboat harbor scapegoat

i know that it’s just tradition to refer to ships as she/her, but in the context of this show it sounds like the stuck tanker is sapient and the tugs are going to destroy her anyway

sl!zug deserves better 2k21

bivalve blues

sunshine’s voice sounds really strained fsr

“wanna hear my new riddle?” “not now. bye” same, ten cents. same

sad boat hours

honestly ten cents has every right to be sad and upset after the events of “big birthday bash”

that’s not why he’s sad though, he’s upset bc he feels unappreciated or sth

a fire?? that escalated quickly, holy shit

love how bluenose is just sitting in the background with no one noticing/acknowledging him as ten cents takes the fuel barge

also that split second of bluenose twitching/shaking at the end

honestly i’m more interested in whatever the hell’s going on with him

i’m sad because they had to incorporate and re-dub that emotional ending scene from “munitions”

ten cents gets cheered up, the other tugs appreciate him, sunshine finally tells him her riddle, and bluenose is presumably scarred for life because this the last episode and we never see him again after this.

#the lighthouse chronicles #shitpost #ask to tag #reaction tag

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therem-harth · 3 years

Note

h h hewwo owoo 22 / 23 / 29 / 31 / 34 / 50 / 58 / 61 / 88 in any order, and u can also just. pick only those that u want :3

hhhh-ewwwo? I did say I wanted to chat and I desperately do not want to do work or studies so buckle in for a long post (derogatory). 22. role model? Oh man, I don’t think I have any, like, specific ones for entire things, though I do fall in my hero-worship phaes and then fall out of them like everyone else. I think that taking an entire person and being like I wanna be like them is... not for me though. But I do look up to some people for specific things - I look up to, weirdly enough, Abigail Phylosohpytube who I didn’t watch before her coming out for her graceful coming out video though she admits that the experience wasn’t obviously as smooth. I look up to lots and lots of people for their ability to create and their art (not gonna tag my fav artists bc am tiny and do not want people to look at me, but i do be reblogging). I look up to people like ConcernedApe Stardewvalley and Supergiantgames Hades for their ability to put so much soul in their work, smth I aspire to do. I look up to @not-poignant for, among other things, their idk how to say it best, wisdom in understanding and communicating with others and with myself? I’ve learned a lot by just sort of being in their periphery and seeing how they articulate their thoughts and choose to be kind and witness other’s pain. Hell, I look up to twitch streamers and youtubers sometimes (the recent nice trait I’d like to have if I ever went into bigger content production is how ibxtoycat deals with parasocial relationship realities). 23. strange habits? Hm. I don’t think drinking tea whenever I need a pick-me-up is strange, that’s just probably forcefully assigning a British nationality to me. I think my insistence on misspelling words in a way I think is lowkey funny might be one, I say thamks bc it feels softer, or thank bc it’s funny, I say sleeb, I say finkers or tryink or otherwise replace g with k for lulz. I also don’t know if it counts as a habit but I have a small leather band around my wrist that’s been there for a year soon. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I probs have like, stranger habits but I can’t recall rn. 29. best way to bond with you? Hmm. Well, if you show initiative and are explicit about wanting to spend time with me, that’s already a big chance of me spending time with you. And then if our interests match and I don’t think that you’re like, young in a way that automatically puts me in a position where I don’t feel comfortable really being myself around you bc in my head I have to look out for you (it has happened with two of my friends, sigh), and we regularly spend time together, voila, friend acquired. It simultaneously doesn’t take much and takes a bit to be my friend and bond with me - it’s easy af to become a casual friend cuz I’m always open to new people, but there has to be a level of trust to become like, a close friend. Respecting my boundaries, talking shit with me, being explicitly committal about wanting to bond with me are big steps that way. 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Uh, I don’t do neither, but a current fave that is reasonably badass is my black tshirt with like, a ritual circle and a deer skull. V edgy, 10/10. I also used to have like a real edgy tshirt with a jester and some dice that said the game of life, but I threw it out bc dysphoria. or maybe I put it at the back of my closet along with one other shirt In Case I Get Top Surgery so I can wear them then. 34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? Many, such is the nature of advertising, alas. I have managed to avoid most of it tbh though, so the only place I am forced to sit through ads so they stick is my scrabble capitalist nightmare app where I play and always beat haha my coursemate. And they have adds for those shitty apps where you have to solve a puzzle that ends up failing in the add and like, drenching a man in green goo. I find those kinda fascinating tbh. Who plays these games? Who plays these shitty shitty games whose ad has to be “prove your IQ“ to make you want to prove yourself to play them? Oh and also, the insidious nature of ads in media I consume - the mcelroys have gotten me informed about many many things bc they do it in a funny way. Have you heard about squarespace? What about meundies? I also literally installed honey yesterday that I knew abt bc of the relentless adds and I wanted to save, uh, 2.50 from my minecraft server purchase (and then spent some time googling how they make money before giving up. just say u sell my data, that’s easier than not knowing what part of this makes you money). I was tired and in a weird mood, ok. 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? It’s always the stupidest jokes, what matters more is laughing together with someone and getting caught in a laughing loop. I still remember laughing with my siblings until our stomachs really really hurt bc I think one of us said a rug was vomit-colored and it was funny in the moment. How many times have I laughed like that with you too, vit. I know that Laura’s one is nostrilatu, right? :D :D It’s just something that catches you off guard, I think.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Oh shid. Hm. 1) My ability to analyze data and understand the basic building blocks of something. Makes me cool at studying and sexy at explaining things to my course-mates. 2) Not a talent more like a skill that I’ve worked hard on through therapy - but my inner positive voice/healthy parent is very strong and automatic (something I was sure would never happen). A good example is me going out for a walk, my phone dying so I can’t listen to music, when I went in my head “well I can always make music in my head. do-do-do *drum sound*“ and I could feel the wave of self-reprimand cresting but before I could actually hear any negative comments the positive voice said with a light of a thousand suns NO THAT IS ACTUALLY CUTE AND SEXY and just haaaaaaah. 3) I sing good. Need to sing more. 4) I think I’m good at making conversation. Even with people I don’t necessarily like or want to talk to. More of a skill again but whatever. 61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Do not come to me and ask for favorites, witch. Uh, I have some quotes in my notes app, like 7 from Pia’s writing :D. But imma go with “It’s a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world“ by Mary Oliver. It counts, ok. Or, wait, something I will for real one day either crosstitch of commission shitpostcalligrapher: “t’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. “What are we holding onto Sam?” “There’s good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.“” 88. your greatest wish? Hrm. Right now? To have like a couple days with no responsibilities and without the outside world bearing on me as heavily, to be tiny tiny tiny so I’m invisible and can drink tiny tea on a tiny leaf. Uh, in general? My recently formulated wish or a goal is stability/peace. Then everything else becomes ok because you can bounce back to stable ground between feeling shit or everything happening so much. And I’ve sort of reached that. Also like, half a million euros would be nice too so I can get a house and a car and go on a few trips abroad. :D // there’s two ask memes in my blog recently, go wild

#long post #derogatory #personal #i think the wish to be tiny was there more last week #now i just wanna have nice things and fun and a bit of rest but am otherwise less overwhelmed #also hey. talks #chats

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achieveandhunt · 4 years

Text

live typing extra life 2019

warning: this a fucking LONG post. if you plan on reading it all, godspeed.

i typed all of this as it was happening on stream so this gets progressively less coherent as i grow more sleep deprived. prepare yourselves. i may or may not go off topic at some points

larry vehemently vomiting pure malic acid. we’re off to a great start

what the fuck the soggy ass popcorn in that ranch jesus christ

lindsay in the song from AH the musical. i love her so much

jeremy going YAAAAAAY after someone eats a cursed oreo

matt getting AGGRESSIVELY kissed by larry

“this kiss this kiss” before geoff and jack kiss

geoff “i’m from alabama” ramsey

THIS FUCKING RANCH SEGMENT HAS ME GAGGING

jeremy “the alcohol demon the whiskey goblin” dooley

alfredo “you wont believe what the white people did today” diaz

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS GET THAT DICK ESSENCE

wait why does it sound like wonderwall

they look like characters from the matrix

the speaking parts. make my teeth hurt

in conclusion: they weren’t kidding abt the tight pants

okay everyone get ready for eric soundboard spamming YEAH BABEY

“hi i’m from broadcast and i don’t want to be here” they represent themselves well

also, let’s take a second to appreciate broadcast here!! they have a really tough job and don’t get a ton of credit. lots of love to all of broadcast!!! you guys are awesome

i am: foreseeing problems with this eric sound board

which one is eric?? will the real eric please stand up?? was the real eric the one we found along the way??

“i’m... just really worried that i won’t ever find love-” “i really don’t care”

WHY DO THEY HAVE THAT ON THE SOUNDBOARD (what does that apply to? whatever it is you’re thinking of, but mostly “daddy wants some”)

ooh someone’s about to get a fReE tongue piercing from a pineapple

god dammit i went to the bathroom for thirty seconds and now they’re eating chad’s chest hair

owie the shock collar and belly slap look painful, but drinking natty light from a shoe? that’s a true punishment

“and this roast was brought to you by meundies”

ah yes what better way is there to end a segment than people throwing up

“man action” oh no

THROBERT MULVEINY

K A R B is blind in T W O of her eyes

“my last name is cottagecheese”

I HAVE A PIECE OF METAL SHOVED UP MY A S S

chris has somehow managed to lose 23 years of age and roughly 412 pounds

“just open throat like baby bird” who the fuck is writing this and why is it jeremy

jon. jon you’re breathing in adam’s ass fumes

a summary of this segment: ass and cottage cheese

BARB IS HERE I REPEAT BARB IS HERE

“to fitness” -starts choking-

final fitness coach: tad, here to workout your issues so they can beat you into submission

“will you buy my wet” well i don’t see that on the raffle items

we’re back folks & i’m loving this walk around segment

moonball wall and gavin&michael will soon be reunited can we get an F in the chat

jeremy getting a borderlands tattoo is very on brand

what’s extra life without a little satan

“starvation army, putting lead back into paint, increasing childhood obesity” people in chat: TAKE MY MONEY

chris “i’m doing a different hole” demarais

ah yes. the game we all play in hell: twister

nobody edit chris getting mustard shot down his throat. i’m scarred enough from the original clip

oh fuck. oh god. the mayo. oh god what the fuck is up with the misuse of condiments this year

this just in: a human soul costs roughly $12,700

D̷̯͑̆̈́͝Õ̸̲͎̥̬͈̬̙͕̲G̸̢̧̠͉͚̙̲̙̓̔̀̇S̷̥̀́͆̈́̇̀ ̶̣̞̗͚̬̭̖̦͇̈́̎̈́̿̓̈́͆̒̋D̷̙̟̩̫͉̺̐̊̚Ö̶̥́̋́̓ͅĜ̵̞̌͋̏̉̌̕͝͝S̵̤̹̣̫̮̻͛̍̑̕͝͝ ̷̧̨̞̙̥̟̜͍̉̍̑̏̇̀̾D̴̻̮̩̯͓͉̖͎̘͐̒͋̓̉͝ͅỎ̶̰͓̳̥͑̅͛͊̒͐͊͘̚G̵̩̻̦̥̠̃̔Ş̶̹͚̩̱͖̀͆͘ ̸̢̢͇̻͔̗̺̼͖̱̏̾̔̚D̴̨̨̫̙̃̾̋̾̆̓̓Ớ̷̡͓͎͊G̶̱̣̣̰̝̖̰̗̓͐̐̊͋̀͊̀̕͝Ş̷̩̺̬̖͙̺̟͗̈́͒͗̀̑́́̕͠ ̷̡͈̼̲͈̳̫̺̝̈́̋͌͗̒ͅD̸̨̬̞̪̗̘̄̑͆̿̈́͘͠͝O̸̡̡͇͕̻͎͍͉̅̌͗̄͌̑̉̔͂̎Ḡ̸͙̟̪̞̬̬͕͐̈̏S̶̝̪̼̮̠̜̭̳͖̘̑

urine: to help with aerodynamics

jon: maya, speak! maya: *the smallest arwoo*

today’s mvp: any dog. pick one. no matter which you pick, you’re right

how the fuck did blaine change back from satan so quickly

barb as a cat is... my new sleep paralysis demon

blaine: barbara speak! barbara: climate change is real

#dogsforkids

this just in: extra life killed my wifi

we’re back & kdin is in the business of killing people with spice. she is the spice queen

queue six thousand well-timed 1337 donations

HOLY SHIT THAT’S COLIN FROM WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY

hmm “questionable liquids” is very... questionable

trevor: oh there’s four of them! we all get to join in the Fuckkkk

“what’s your favorite kind of candy” “any meat”

i like pickles and i would rather rip my eyebrows off than drink the juice so i feel for trevor

the only thing worse than drinking apple cider vinegar is shooting it out of your nose

“can you feel the love tonight” “i used to and that’s the problem”

“flubs every word man” damn, really missed the chance to say captain hair

jeremy not being able to intentionally flub his words is so fucking funny

OK BOOMER

wow i can feel my blood pressure spike just watching these shots

Xavier Woods is here and he wants to know if it’s Christmas

miles doesn’t know what a question is

WHERE’S YOUR HAIR

oh no. oh no helping hands is next. everyone clear a splash zone

CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

miles bossing around chef mike is priceless

“you leave that fucking dough on the floor”

“you wanna slam your hands down on the table” *pizza sauce goes flying everywhere*

HOEDOWN HOEDOWN HOEDOWN jesus why do i keep doing that

“If Colin Mochrie is listening, I’ll see you here next year” OH FUCK YEAH

--- this is when i take a break so my soul can return to my body (aka i have work to turn in. college will never not be a pain in my ass) ---

oh god dammit i missed all of Always Open. fuck college who needs a medical degree

so... we have some very interesting things happening in family feud and i’m not sure if i like any of them

hmm. is now the time to get drunk

oily twist feels very... ominous

what do you mean you don’t remember gandalf having a taser in lord of the rings?

someone in the chat said “big stupid sleeping thing is what my parents called me in high school”

i think i’m blacking out what’s going on i don’t remember the past two hours

ah yes. voldemort and snape having a talk show together sounds exactly like something J.K. Rowling would make a spinoff book or show or porno of

can we just talk about how much shit chris has been doing this year? what a guy. what a dude

“coldy with voldy” actually means getting knocked the fuck out cold because you only got three hours of sleep last night and you don’t want to miss chef mike and lindsay cooking

this snape poem is summarized by one phrase: “that was terrible sit the fuck down” (sorry chris)

“let’s destroy a weasley” enter chad

fucking called it

“you smell poor” i need a caffeine drip

heh the wheel spins are at 69 heh nice

i’m a grown ass woman

welcome to a section called: we torture chad for your entertainment

“who wants us to kill weasley?” *massive cheers from the audience*

“wait weasley step away from the wideshot so i can masturbate to this later”

“i’m not gonna rub my eye mom”

oh they’re really gonna kill chad on stream huh

i felt that chest slap in my soul

i think i felt my own ribs crack

oh fucking

tumblr deleted my thoughts on the fanfic section

alright. fine. brief summary: my teeth are burning

my mom lindsay is on next and i’m so excited but i’m nearing the point of loopiness so things will go downhill dramatically from here

this is my fucking fourth extra life, you would think i’d be smart enough to sleep the night before

LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY THAT’S MY MOM

JEREMY JEREMY JERE- wait a second... did jeremy get taller

oH CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

i hope Xavier comes back next year because he’s funny as fuck

m y a t t

oh god the mcdonald’s shade i’m rolling

lindsay “who’s the chef here” jones

chef mike mentioned mayo and i involuntarily gagged

chef mike clowning the big mac. i’m crying

he made the right choice with ryan bc i’ve seen his cooking stream(s) and it’s nothing if not great content

i heARD A MICHAEL JONES

“lindsay you haven’t done anything but warm up cookies so far” “yeah and?? you’re welcome”

you know that classic snack. slightly warm oreos

JEREMY THE LIQUOR GOBLIN DOOLEY IS BACK

oh god him screeching across set is making me cry laughing

why does it remind me of trevor’s voice cracks in the one minecraft ep where they’re singing the lion king

the biggest spoon for the smallest shot glass

i just realized we’re not even halfway through yet and i’m scared for the length of this list i’m gonna end up falling asleep involuntarily at some point

lindsay no your teeth are going to errode from that shot in your mouth

well timed leet donation #1829495

this gorden ramsey bit is so fucking good

jack: what do you think of the arugala? matt: i don’t even know what you said

iT’s NoT jUsT tWo CoOkIeS miCHeAL

jeremy and michael just chillin amidst the choas is exactly my demeanor at any party i’ve ever been to

lindsay scores: ryan = 7 because diet coke, matt = still eating lindsay’s meal so it’s a 10, xavier = also still eating it so it’s an 8. total: 25

“deep fry everything but a remote control”

chef mike scores: ryan = 9 for no death, matt = greens are present, words were said, score is 8. xavier = Gourmet Mcdonald’s, food is edible, score is 8. total: 25

oh fuck it’s a tie

now they fight to the death. death = doing as many shots as possible

i think we’re all going to need liver transplants after tonight

no jesus please don’t vomit oh goD oh fUc k please- oh thank god

okay i’m making a part two this is too much

#extra life 2019 #i’m going for full 24 hours this year #rooster teeth #achievement hunter #jeremy dooley #michael jones #lindsay jones #jack pattillo #geoff ramsey #gavin free #ryan haywood #matt bragg #alfredo diaz #trevor collins #fiona nova #i regret everything in my life that has led to this moment

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astheravensighs · 4 years

Text

honestly??? i KNOW chuuya would be into jazz. and me being a jazz singer oh boy,,, i think that’d be like. dream come true for that classy bastard i mean come on. i just. I’ve had this big dumb sexy jazzy fantasy in my head for DAYS now and I’m absolutely living for it u guys ok:

i wanna be the singer for a shady underground prohibition era styled bar that the mafia frequents. red dress, all sequiny with a slit up the side that shows off my legs (in this fantasy i have nice legs ok shut up let me have this lol). n then one day chuuya comes walking in and i immediately know he’s one of the big five port mafia executives. from the way he holds himself to the way the other patrons part for him like the red sea. he’s not wearin his usual getup, but instead his black suit with the dark red collared shirt and oh my god those fancy shiny shoes rly do it for me and i cannot explain it at ALL,,, anyway he has two holsters on either side of his chest in that x-shaped chest harness thing (🥵) and a knife strapped to his thigh in a leg harness (🥵🥵🥵)

and of COURSE i fuckin short circuit the second i see him bc oh my GOD... is that. is that THE chuuya. the one i hear the low level grunts talk about all the time?? the one that obliterates entire organizations in a second?? the one that can do things with a knife that would make your head spin (before he sliced it off at least)??? THE chuuya???!!! no one told me he was SO FUCKING HOT WHAT THE FUCK,

anyway he goes straight to the bar and says “the usual”, and despite not having been there in the year or so I’d worked there, the bartender remembers his usual- whatever’s the most expensive wine they have. he looks bored as hell and lights up a cigarette but it messes with the taste of his wine so he puts it out all annoyed n turns to the stage hoping for some entertainment.

n he sees me n almost chokes. like. oh fuck. oh Fuck. jesus christ. what the hell am i doing up there all... all HOT, like who gave me the RIGHT???? n i see him blush n I’m like. oh my fucking god is he really- no way. holy shit. no fucking way is he looking at ME????????

n so i gesture to my little band that we’re gonna do a different song than is on the chart- something slow and a little seductive. and as soon as i start singing he completely forgets abt the drink in his hand.

he’d just stare, tapping his foot and mouthing some of the words, but his eyes never leave me. I’d show off and bat my eyelashes at him and give him bedroom eyes the whole time, and when i hit a high note he’d lean back and laugh quietly and do that thing where he claps his hands together in disbelief n goes “whoo! damn!” he’s just so impressed.

then when the song ended i’d tell the band to play some instrumentals, solo over some chord progressions for a little while, and I’d go chat with him at the bar. he can’t keep his eyes from wandering. i can’t either to be fair tho. i order a cranberry juice bc I’m a wimp and he thinks it’s cute seeing someone drink juice at a bar... for the first time. usually he’d be like go to a fuckin mcdonalds if u don’t wanna drink alcohol but if it’s me he’s like. good choice darling, taking care of that beautiful voice of yours. n I’m like. well it is good for the throat ;) n he coughs n splutters into his wine glass fhskdh

and at some point we’d both head to the back room where the illicit gambling usually takes place and he’d absolutely destroy me over a pool table n call me darlin and sweet thing and vixen and aaaaaaaaaaaaaa hddgklgzhk

#gray’s writing #gray’s original #spicy #otp: double dark and darker #tw knife #tw gun #tw smoking #tw alcohol #god i just want to impress him 🥺#and my voice is the one thing I’m confident in beyond a doubt #and i am. if i do say so myself. a very good jazz singer #wanna dance to that song lost in the rhythm with him aaaaa #anyway I’m yearning and fantasizing tonight folks #long post #ish

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jan-uinely · 4 years

Text

hot takes continued

here we go. season 12 episode 12.

so. it’s time to chit chat about drag race. if u dont like my opinions sry.

this is gonna get bigger than one episode or one season. this is meta drag race.

but first i guess the episode. right. so. obviously it was a “musical” so obviously i wanted to see jan sing and obviously she did not. I do think that this challenge [not necessarily placed in this episode] would have been a great time to do a like returning queens. but i digress.

i think that it was a little muddled. like it wasn't like any of the “girl group” numbers where it’s just the verse and chorus. all of the verses were placed in different spots throughout the show. I also think it’s ironic that this whole episode is to promote this live vegas show which is obviously not happening right now. but alas.

i agree with bob in that i liked jackie’s verse the best.

i did not love gigi’s outfit in the challenge. you couldn't make out the heart as easily bc the red was all the same color. I also think the material used was too chunky- it was quilted. i would have rather had the heart be quilted, not have a corset underneath it, and have the rest of the top part not be quilted. i thought it was a good concept but i would have preferred different #choices. i also would have rather the hair been straight instead of curled.

i did not have a huge issue w crystal’s orange and green outfit. i also appreciated the callback stars and stripes hair. though maybe not together?

jaida was good as per usual. i want her to win, but we will get to that later.

also let us note the basketball wives hair that made a comeback [gigi, jackie]

runway time.

crystal and ******’s outfits did not fit the way i wanted them too, and the problems were both in the hips. when i saw them i thought the hips should be exaggerated, but instead they both looked weirdly deflated. and crystal’s torso section could have been brought in. [i did see on instagram that the person who made crystal’s look [casey caldwell who is a nyc based designer, works w a lot of neoprene/thick materials- just look up on instagram caseyyalater] actually made it for dragcon and crystal bought it right there, so it wasn’t tailored]

in the dior v dior battle, i thought gigi won. jackie’s dress was just i think a little too large [not in terms of tailoring, in terms of diameter] but it was very jackie

gigi said that her outfit was quintessential gigi, which i think it interesting bc if you look up showgirls performances, it very much is. however in terms of the character portrayed on drag race i didn’t think it was. it was very well made, etc. but it just didn’t fit the “perfectionist trope” of the show.

jaida is once again wearing a gown with a presequinned fabric, which i am not mad at. it is quintessential jaida.

critiques.

again ooh we have to nitpick bc we accidentally cast too many winners on this season blah blah blah. i was not a fan of when they said oh well we will have to look at report cards. as if they didnt intentionally load up gigi and ****** with wins at the start of the show.

and then it’s like oh well jackie and crystal have to lip sync blah blah blah. and you know that jackie is going home. bc the judges absolutely love crystal, all because of that mullet.

to quote bob “I used to be really upset at queens who won the judges with their personality” and that is still mostly true for me. i don’t think her placement is unjust or whatever, but like if ru didn’t like the mullet, she would not have been given the confidence boost to turn her trajectory around, compared to jackie and widow and jan, who did most things right but just were not rupaul’s fave, and must have had a much more difficult time mentally on the show.

and FWIW heidi falls into this category as well. race chaser i think said it - all of her success comes from ru’s ideas. and being naturally funny and charismatic and having ru like you as a person is a huge gift and huge talent, but the inability to wrangle it... that being said i think she deserves the world and will grow [and has already grown] from this experience.

and the thing is that crystal also keeps going back to the same stuff which could have been funny if the episodes were more than one apart or if she didn't do it twice in one episode but. idk.

now, who will win, who should win, hmm hmm hmm. tbh i don’t think it will be crystal. they just crowned the oddball and they like to mix it up, or at least try to. also why looking at the history of dusted or busted scores [and s/o to jan for coming in @ 4 [after the disqualification]] crystal is at a 2, and bebe won with the lowest score at a 3 [w 2nd and 3rd place at 4 and 5], and that was in season 1, which was a whole other ballgame. leaving us with jaida and gigi. i am team jaida. i think that she is much more developed as an artist and performer than gigi, and I think that she will bring us something new.

[here comes the meta part]

the title is america’s next drag superstar. and i think in the beginning of the show, they decided that that had to mean something new and exciting, something that pushed the boundaries of what drag could be [which is rly ironic coming from them but]. which has developed this culture of what is the formula to be successful on drag race. and some people were more overt about this [jan] and some people were more subtle about this [gigi and jackie].

but for some reason, the [Black] pageant queens will make it to the top and then never win. - and they’ve had overt conversations regarding pageants and pageant culture on the show before - but balls and pageants were like the building blocks of drag culture in the us [from what i understand]. so inherently that means it’s no longer “new” and exciting. but the thing is that so many of these fashion [/nyc] queens work so exclusively with these high end designers to produce these looks [i think bob said it can cost like 10K to prep all your stuff for drag race] and with that the ability to design and sew falls away.

and i think that is reflected in the challenges and how they have changed. this season there was one design challenge. and that is just so disappointing to me bc i think the design challenges really separate who has a full understanding of their persona and who does not.

and with fewer and fewer design challenges, you have more and more designer items, and the ability to create something has fallen to the wayside. personally [and i will probably make another post about this later] i want to bring back the design challenges in one of two ways. 1. have an all designers season. where drag designers work to make elaborate costumes based on a prompt and given certain materials. bc on the show designers are not credited as much [that part comes on instagram]. 2. i want to have a drag race blank slate competition. where contestants audition and are given a list of prompts but cannot bring anything except like a notebook. no prepared outfits. you can sketch designs to the prompts, but all the materials are provided. contestants still have a main challenge and a runway, but rather than 2 days, they are given a full week to execute the challenge and the outfit. this would totally change the game in my mind. like one you wouldn't have to have money or take out loans to compete, you could just come and show who you are. and two the audience could see more of what goes into this stuff. AND if drag race really wants to feed us, they could do like a wed. ep and a friday ep. to spread things out.

my favorite challenges are design challenges, and while i think the first challenge this season gave us a better introduction to who the contestants are, the design challenge is a really good thing to have at the front.

i do think that if they had not had the debate that there would have been another design challenge in the mix, but bc it was an election year.

anyways, i want jaida to win bc she’s excellent at what she does. and at this point there is something new and exciting about making all your own clothes and being polished and knowing who you are. and tbh gigi doesn’t bring anything new to the table. sure the ability to sew and design is good, but compared to aquaria and violet the designs were not as diverse or inventive. on top of that, the fact that gigi is outwardly apolitical [and doesn’t understand the connotation of “privilege” in today’s times] is just not a good look. I also think that it is interesting that gigi came in as the look queen but actually did better in the acting challenges.

idk my main takeaway is that gigi is really really good at playing other people, and with that comes a lack of self awareness. striving so hard to be perfect can come at the cost of not knowing who you are as an artist. like gigi’s brand is literally “im that bitch/bitch” which again, just isn’t what i want in a winner.

and tbh the gigi bug bit early but ended when ru gave her the win on the madonna episode. [i will say that jackie could have won snatch game but tbh i was annoyed w her for being a little dickish to the safe girls that week [though what she said was totally understandable] and also i <3 jackie cox [and chelsea piers we stan chelsea piers in this house] i think there is something so gr8 abt being a nerd and being prepared and being on brand about it. also jackie is always the one to hop on the dolls’ lives and comment their venmo. hashtag cool aunt jackie. [though that here for cox t-shirt and the promo photos make me uncomfy though i get it]]

re jackie coming back to complete the top 4... IDK it’s nice and all but they've already established that they don’t want her to win- otherwise she would not have been eliminated.

also in my mind there are only 12 places so jan actually came in 7, widow 6, heidi 5, jackie 4.

anyways these are my thoughts. as usual, raw and unedited.

#i guess what i'm saying is that i would love to produce drag race #but i hate la so i guess that's off the table #drag race #hot takes #rpdr s12 #this is very long #so be prepared #i would like to think that it is high quality content #but we shall see #if u want more hot takes my ask box is always open #as u know i have no life #i just rotate between instagram twitter and tumblr #drag race season 12 episode 12 #im a ramblin gal #so enjoy my thoughts on this fine satur day

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markblush · 6 years

Note

can you ship your mutuals with members?

anon i AM SO SO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG i wanted to make this so cute that you’d all cringe at this tooth rottingly fluffy content ok sO H E R E W E G O also sorry bc this is literally just a BUNCH of blurbs

@renjunchokingnct - renjun

OK FIRST OF ALL NOTHING CAN GET SOFTER THAN THIS n o t h i n g o k i can see you guys doing such cute stuff together like EVEN THE CHEESIEST STUFF LIKE YOU GUYS FROLICKING IN MEADOWS N SHIT and then one warm summer day you guys are just sitting in a field full of daisies and your head is in his lap and he’s adorning your hair with flowers and gently brushing his fingers through your hair and he’s quietly singing to you too n he’s also wearing his cute sun hat from we young era AWWW AND THEN ON OTHER DAYS YOU’LL BE LIKE RENJUN LETS GO FUCKIGN PAINTBALLING AND HE’S LIKE KELLY OK IT’S ON and then he gets super riled up and the compETITION IS toUgh buDDY

@dreamteamn - doyoung

!!!!!!cutest!!!! i can see you guys playfully bickering and teasing each other and having tickle fights and stuff like that and i juSt!!!!!!im gone I CAN ALSO SEE HIM PUTTING HIS FLANNEL SHIRTS N JACKETS OVER YOUR SHOULDERS WHEN IT’S A BIT WINDY AND CHILLY OUT AHHh ALSO u guys having dates out in the city and going on cool ferris wheels and doING LOTS OF SCENIC ACTIVITIES lots of photo taking involved 👌

@neo–city - jungwoo

the👏warmest👏couple👏in👏the👏whole👏world ok. RAINY DAY MOVIE DATES W HOT COCOA!!!!!!! ghibli marathons!!!!!! n like sometimes y’all will go on movie theater dates and y’all will get popcorn and you’ll try to shoot it in each others mouths and sometimes it’ll be spot on but other times it’ll miss badLY AND MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY ONE OF THE PIECES OF POPCORN HITS THE BACK OF SOME DUDES HEAD n so y’all FREAK OUT and try to stay put and be as still as possible n jungwoo’s clutching at your hand n u and him both feel ur hearts racing at 34587mph n he ends uP BURSTING UP IN TEARS N HE TELLS U Y’ALL SHOULD BOOK IT SO U DO n then U JUST RUN AWAY TOGETHER HAND IN HAND LAUGHING AW

@sunnyhyuck - haechan

NUMBER 1 SUNSHINE COUPLE💛 i can see so maNY SCENARIOS FOR YOU GUYS i can see you guys roasting each other every morning but then in the afternoon i see cute picnic dates and kite flying and cooing over cool dogs you see at the park!!! AhhH!! n one day hyuck rings your doorbell out of the blue and he’s like paige. let’s get a fucking PET TOGETHER. and so u guys go to the pet store and look at all the cute animals and cats and all that. and y’all are laughing bc when you get to the hamsters u point to one and tell him he looks just like it n he punches u rlly gently bUT U CAN SEE HIM SMILING TO THE SIDE and then at the end of the day y’all end up getting a fish and u name it chris

@heartaus - taeyong

oKOK HERE ME OUT ON THIS YOU HAVE A WRITING BLOG AND FIRST OF ALL THAT’S SO CUTE and it’s clear that you have a passion for writing and literature and the person i think of first when i think abt someone who’s passionate IT’S TAEYONG. i feel like he would APPRECIATE YOU SO SO MUCH and he would love to be the first person to read whatever it is you had come up with that day whether it be a poem you’re proud of or a 6-page essay for history class HE’D BE SO HAPPY TO READ IT. and i can see you guys going for cute study dates at the library or at a small cafe down the road and he’d being wearing some cUTE DORKY GLASSES dhfkj ((I COULD REALLY GO ON BUT I SHOULD STOP OH YG OD))) (p.s. you’re so, so talented!!! your prince!jaemin post had me feeling all sorts of soft :((()

@xiulumos - taeil

CUTE CUTE CUTE >:((((( the first thing i thought of was you guys just chilling and hanging out at home and having a baking day! n so you guys are both wearing super cute aprons and you decide to bake some cinnamon rolls together from scratch and you guys end up getting flour all over the place and i can see you booping his nose w some flour and he boops ur nose back and it’s just a fit of cute giggles and he kISSES UR CHEEK AWERGHJHDFJSHDF IM GO N E

@miracyeols - jaehyun kun

we all kno that he’s ur real bias jung jeffery who tf

@sohnshine - jeno

OK this is so cute all i see just lots of reALLY REALLY BIG SMILES??? like y’know one day jeno asks you to hang out n idk say you just go for a walk in the park or smthn n you’re just chatting abt his cats or whatever n LIKE YOU’RE JUST SMILING REALLY BIG THE WHOLE TIME AND ((JENO’S ALREADY SMILING BC HE JUST ALWAYS IS AND HE ENJOYS YOUR COMPANY SO MUCH)) WHEN HE SEES YOU SMILE HIS SMILE GETS EVEN BIGGER AND HIS EYES DO THAT CUTE THING AND I JUST ???@?@??@ AAHh

@suhpls - johnny

i imagine u gUYS BEING SO CHILL TOGTHER and just having each other over at each others houses and just talking abt your day and stuff and i can see you guys just end up cuddling and having cute naps together and all the sort and awW WwW wW i can see him also just cracking up really randOM JOKES and u guys just laughing together a whole lot!

@yungkbri - mark

uwuwu i can see you guys being the CHILLEST COUPLE like going out to eat dinner every couple days ((ok let’s be honest thAT’S WHAT ALL THE COUPLES IN VANCOUVER DO BC THERE’S JUST SO MANY PLACES TO EAT IT’S SO WILD)) and finding cool new ice cream places to check out :’) and then during the summer time you guys go out to watch fireworks on the beach n ajkhfdKJF CUTE

THIS IS SO CRINGY IM SO SORRY GUYS

#THIS IS SO SO LONG IM SO SORRY #im sorry that i didnt include every mutual!! i only included mutuals that i've talked with :'(#replies #anonymous

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tastyjin · 6 years

Text

Happy Accidents

In a world where soulmates can feel what the other feels, Hoseok meets Yoongi on Club Penguin, not knowing that 1. they possibly know each other IRL and 2. are soulmates. After an incident in class, Yoongi finds out who jdope23 really is.

Title: Happy Accidents

Word count: 3.7k+

Pairing: Yoongi x Hoseok

Type: soulmate au, club penguin au, college au

Genre: not really fluff but no smut so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Warnings: minor swearing. Mentions of poop. You might overdose because of how much crack this fic is on.

Author’s note: this is my first ever fic so pls don’t come for me if it’s bad, I’m not the best writer lmao. This fic is in no way making fun of writers or anything; I genuinely had a fun time writing this and hope you enjoy it. Sorry if there’s spelling errors, I’m only human.

Requests are open!

Club penguin was a “free” multiplayer online game where people, 6 years old and up, could enter a virtual world. There you could play as a cartoon penguin, taking part in missions and games to earn coins and buy super cool merchandise, ranging from clothes to furniture, in order to complete your feng shui goals in your very own igloo!

However to be considered the hippest penguin on the slopes, you had to have a paid membership. With this membership came unlimited perks such as: being able to take part in every penguin activity on the server and even buying up to 75 Puffles— small furry pets that had no limbs and only ate Puffle-Os (whatever that is).

When you were not joining in on events and missions you could waddle around and make friends! Club penguin offered many places where penguins could chat and chill (haha get it). Were you tired from sliding down the ski slopes and in need of something scrumptious to eat? Say no more! You could head to the pizza parlor where you could relax, eat pizza, and connect with your penguin pals! Besides the parlor, there were many other places you could use the ultimate safe chat or the regular safe chat to talk to other players (let’s be honest though the ultimate safe chat was only created for 5 year olds who didn’t know how to type in the first place).

That’s how Min Yoongi (aka sugasweet66) met Jung Hoseok (aka jdope23) on one cool Monday afternoon at the pizza parlor.

Min Yoongi was a music major with a bad case of sleeping for 12+ hours a day. He had started playing club penguin at the ripe age of 17, during his senior year of high school. At first it was just a joke between his friends but it soon become much more than that.

“Hyung have you heard of this new online game that was just released a few years ago?” Namjoon asked as him, Yoongi, and Jin sat at the computer section of the library. Yoongi didn’t care enough to answer him so instead he just turned his gaze from the music video he was watching (promiscuous by nelly furtado ft timbaland) to Namjoon’s computer screen.

On it was the intro screen to a game he vaguely made out to be called club penfin or something to that extent. Yoongi’s English was not perfect.

“What is that?” Jin sat back in his chair in slight disgust, was he really spending his only study period watching Namjoon play some game where his avatar was a fat ugly penguin? I mean who chooses yellow for a skin color?

“It’s called club penguin, it’s an online multiplayer game where you’re a penguin and do missions and shit. Look I just put a table in my igloo!” Namjoon pointed excitedly at his screen, where there in his white barren igloo sat a brown wooden coffee table.

Jin scoffed as he continued to watch Namjoon mess around with his igloo. After a couple seconds of seeing Namjoon have a mini heart attack because he thought he had accidentally bought the membership, Yoongi looked back at his screen curious. The game, although probably a complete joke, looked mildly entertaining.

Therefore that same day Yoongi went home and loaded up his computer, typing www.clubpenguin.com into the url tab.

Ever since then Yoongi would come home from school and religiously play club penguin. He became very invested in the game, even going so far as to buying the membership. Over the years, Yoongi cultivated an image of being one of the coolest penguins on the server. Or should I say, sugasweet66 became known as the it penguin.

Everyone admired and wanted to be sugasweet66. Of course most people playing were 10 year olds but that didn’t stop Yoongi, a 24 year old college student, from adoring the praise and compliments given to his penguin on a daily basis.

On the other hand, Jung Hoseok was far from popular in the virtual world of club penguin. Similar to Yoongi, Hoseok was a dance major who had stumbled upon the online game one day while sitting in a gaming café with his three best friends: Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung.

JustinSeagull97 has created a group chat

JustinSeagull97: hey hyungs clck the lnk I’m abt 2 snd

Mochiboy: are you having a seizure? What’s wrong with your typing?

Taetae95: ^^^^

JustinSeagull97: it’s quickr ths way

JustinSeagull97 shared a link with the group chat

Jdope23: what’s the link?

Mochiboy: is that the link to that game you’re playing right now?

Taetae95: oh is that club penguin?!

Jdope23: club what?

JustinSeagull97: it’s an adventre gme where u ply as a pnguin n it’s rlly fun pls ply w me

Jdope23: can someone kick Jungkook off the gc if he continues typing like that??

Mochiboy: yeah I got it hyung dw

JustinSeagull97: no pls dnt kck me out ffs

Taetae95: kookie did you just swear???

Jdope23: jimin you know what to do

JustinSeagull97: lol he wnt do it

Mochiboy has kicked JustinSeagull97 from the chat

Taetae95: now can we play some CP?

Jdope23: sure ig

Mochiboy: ^^^^

From that day on Hoseok and his friends met at the gaming café almost everyday to play club penguin together. Although only Jungkook bought the membership, the four still had immense fun playing the online game. That’s why Hoseok continued to play even after he entered college.

Of course Hoseok would still meet occasionally with his bffs to play, he was usually only ever able to play the game in the dorms because being a dance major meant dedicating many hours to practicing.

It was right before Hoseok left for college when he met Yoongi on Club Penguin.

Hoseok had just finished packing for college when he decided to play a bit of his favorite game. He sat down at his computer desk with a content sigh; his back was beginning to kill him and he felt sympathy for whoever his soulmate was.

Living in a world where your soulmate feels whatever you feel was particularly hard for Hoseok. Of course being a dancer meant that one was prone to getting injuries and aches, but Hoseok felt immense guilt every time he twisted an ankle or missed a step while dancing and bruised his knees. Hoseok didn’t want to inflict pain onto his soulmate, whether it be purposely or not. That’s why he dedicated himself to perfecting every dance move in order to ensure that his soulmate would not be receiving pain from his doing.

Smiling to himself at the thought, Hoseok entered his username and password and was soon logged on to the club penguin server. He debated calling his best friends and telling them to get on as well; on one hand he’d have people to play with but on the other, Taehyung would most likely make Hoseok spend all his coins on stupid shit.

Deciding against it, Hoseok clicked on the map icon on his screen and soon his green colored penguin was standing in the pizza parlor. There were only a handful of penguins there but Hoseok didn’t mind at all.

A small smile spread across his lips as he began to type on his light up keyboard he had spent all summer saving up for.

Jdope23: hello everyone!

Hoseok clicked on a button and watched as his penguin did a circular motion with its hips and arms. He laughed as a few penguins around him copied his ministrations and greeted him.

He then made his penguin sit down at one of the table in the pizzeria, striking up a conversation with a pink penguin with a super cool fedora on.

UssySleigher: hello fellow penguin have you heard the news? It’s karaoke night tonight!

Jdope23: seriously?? How does that work...

UssySleigher: you just stand on the stage and sing... have you never done karaoke before?

Jdope23: I know that it’s just.. never mind. When’s it starting?

UssySleigher: right now.

Hoseok raised a brow as he leaned in to watch as a black penguin with brown spiked hair, wearing a teal shirt with dark stripes, waddled up to the stage. He nearly choked when he read the penguin’s username: sugasweet66.

“What does that even mean?” Hoseok thought as the mysterious penguin took the stage.

Sugasweet66: hello everyone it’s d boy here to use my tongue technology to spit some sick beats

Hoseok watched as no penguin except the one with the fedora replied to sugasweet66’s words.

UssySleigher: let’s get it!

Hoseok shook his head and watched as the black penguin on stage began to breakdance. He couldn’t help but laugh as the penguin began his “performance”.

Sugasweet66: I love it when you call me big poppa

Sugasweet66: Throw your hands in the air, if you'se a true player

Sugasweet66: To the honies gettin' money playin' dudes like dummies

Sugasweet66’s performance went on for another 3 minutes as he rapped the entire big poppa song. At the end of it, Hoseok was in tears and didn’t hesitate to make his penguin clap. He even laughed so hard that he fell off his chair a bit and bumped his knee on the desk.

“Ow god damn.” Hoseok hissed, rubbing his knee. He glanced back at the screen to see other penguins clapping and even dancing in response to sugasweet66’s performance.

Sugasweet66: DAEGUUUUUUUU

And with that last line the black penguin waved and made its way off the stage. Hoseok immediately grabbed his mouse and clicked next to sugasweet66, watching as his penguin waddled towards them. For some odd reason, Hoseok wanted to be friends with this intriguing penguin. Not only was their rap game strong but he was genuinely curious about them. He typed furiously on his keyboard as sugasweet66 made their way over to the counter of the pizza parlor.

Jdope23: That was an awesome performance!

At first the penguin he was now next to didn’t answer but after a couple seconds of waiting, Hoseok got a reply.

Sugasweet66: you want an autograph or smth?

Hoseok snorted. He couldn’t believe that was what sugasweet66 took a full minute to come up with.

Jdope23: sure

Sugasweet66: i don’t have a pen... or fingers

Jdope23: maybe next time then

Hoseok found himself smiling at his screen for the second time today, his hand went to his mouse and in a few seconds Hoseok had added the strange penguin. Now all he had to do was wait for sugasweet66 to accept his request.

Sugasweet66: why did you send me a friend request

Jdope23: I want to break into your igloo

Sugasweet66: ok

Hoseok’s computer made a ding sound notifying him that someone had accepted his friend request and he knew exactly who that was.

Sugasweet66.

And that’s how their friendship started. After that fateful night, sugasweet66 and Jdope23 began meeting up almost everyday on the server. They’d usually hang out at Yoongi’s igloo because he was a member, meaning his igloo was a lot more decorous than Hoseok’s.

The two would go on missions and do almost everything together. Basically they were conjoined at the pixelated penguin hip. They learned a lot about each other over the course of the two years they had played together, for example: what their favorite colors were and how many nipples they had. Although somehow they had never thought to share their real names with each other, possibly because that sort of topic was not usually discussed during their super cool hangouts at, as Yoongi called it, the genius lab.

Even after Yoongi’s penguin started gaining traction did they still hang out as if they were both just two lame dudes playing club penguin (because I mean, they were). Yoongi would still meet up with Hoseok everyday in the game and Hoseok would continuously beg Yoongi to buy him stuff with his membership perks. It was a pleasant cycle that occurred daily until one fateful afternoon, it halted.

It was a particularly warm spring morning when Yoongi was sitting in the back rows of the lecture hall, listening to his music theory teacher drone on about god knows what. It was his last day of classes before spring break and to say he was relieved was an understatement.

Yoongi was feeling exhausted with his workload lately. Balancing a job at the café, his schoolwork, and his fame on club penguin was strenuous and took a toll on him. He was more than ready to just sleep off the stress he had been feeling for the entirety of the break.

Propping his elbow on his desk and placing his head in his hand, Yoongi kept his gaze trained on the board where his teacher was currently writing notes. He was absentmindedly jotting them down when he became uncomfortably warm. He moved to take off his leather jacket quietly and after a few seconds he had succeeded, placing the article of clothing on the empty seat next to him.

However he still couldn’t seem to cool down. If anything, taking off his jacket only made him hotter (and not in the way that he would’ve liked).

Yoongi began to shift in his seat, sitting up straight for a second to find that his black shirt was now stuck to his back due to his body’s perspiration.

“What the hell is happening?” Yoongi began to panic, “Is this what menopause feels like?”

He began to look around the room, making sure none of his classmates were witnessing his potential loss of his menstrual cycle.

“Wait... don’t only women menstruate?” Yoongi soon became confused but luckily, the lecture hall was mostly empty today and those who were here were not paying any attention to his breakdown.

“Okay okay so if I’m not entering menopause then what is going on?” Yoongi, no longer paying attention to today’s lesson, was now using his kumumon folder to fan himself. The heat didn’t seem to subside as a strong wave of pain hit his abdomen. Holding back a groan, he grabbed his stomach in agony and began to rub it, hoping the notion would somehow soothe the now aching organ.

“This must be what giving birth feels like.” Yoongi thought, pulling out his iPhone 4s to webMD his symptoms and see if he was about to meet the face of the grim reaper. However before he could even put his folder down and reach into the pocket of his black skinny jeans, another wave of pain washed over him, stronger than the last.

Unlike last time, Yoongi was unable to hold back his groans. It was like someone had just stabbed his abdomen with a knife and proceeded to shove a dildo in the wound to stop the bleeding. He closed his eyes momentarily and began to try and control his uneven breathing.

A few students began to send confused looks Yoongi’s way however the teacher didn’t seem to notice or if he did, he really didn’t seem to care enough to say anything.

Yoongi continued to keep his eyes closed, his breathing returning to a somewhat normal pace. His stomach was still in pain though and his sweating didn’t seem to ease up. Yoongi glanced at the clock to see how much time was left until class would end and he could sprint to the bathroom, not sure what was going on with his body but knowing the bathroom seemed like the right place to be right about now. The pain began to crescendo and he squeezed his eyes shut when it became unbearable; he abruptly stood up when he felt an all too familiar feeling hit him. He couldn’t wait to run to the bathroom, he had to go now.

Ignoring the stares he was getting from both his teacher and his classmates, he began to climb down the stairs, cursing at himself that he picked today of all days to sit all the way in the back. He was simultaneously rubbing his stomach with one hand as the other held his belongings. The teacher was saying something to him but at this point all sound became muffled to him. All Yoongi was worried about was making it to the restroom in time before-

Oh no.

It was too late.

Just as he had reached the last step his butt cheeks unclenched and a whoosh of unrestrained air, that crackled and snapped like unbounded thunder, echoed throughout the hall. At first, Yoongi was relieved because he began to feel better immensely. Maybe all he needed was to break a little wind. However, it seemed that that was only the calm before the storm, or should Yoongi say, the hurricane.

The room remained silent as it seemed everyone was frozen in time. Some students mouths were agape and others were in utter disgust.

Yoongi had made the grave mistake of trusting that one single fart because all of a sudden, as if Noah had just parted the Red Sea that was Yoongi’s ass cheeks, shit had began to leak out of his booty. It was like the dam had broke and shit was flooding Yoongi’s boxer briefs. Shrieks and profanities originating from the students rang out into the room. Yoongi felt his face heat up, knowing at this point he must be as red as Ronald McDonald’s wig. He couldn’t move nor could he make himself say something, anything to mend the situation. Because in all honestly, there was no coming back from this.

The smell coming from his bottom was deadly and many of the students, suddenly coming in contact with the horrid scent, began to evacuate the room. Even his teacher, who just shot Yoongi a less than amused look, pinched his nose and ran out of the room. Everyone was gagging, even Yoongi because this was one shit that he didn’t enjoy the smell of.

Yoongi was the only one left in the room when he finally stopped shitting himself (literally and figuratively). It wasn’t like he could move anyways, his pants were so full of crap he couldn’t move one inch without it sliding down his legs and making more of a mess than he already was. He couldn’t believe this had happened to him today; he should’ve known not to eat the gas station gimbap his roommate had brought home last night.

Yoongi could stew on that topic later however, right now he needed to come up with a solution on how the hell he was going to get back to his dorm without trailing diarrhea behind him. ——— After the whole “shit and get” fiasco, Yoongi had managed to make it home. Currently he was sitting at his laptop, staring at the club penguin log in screen. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to waddle around the server after what had happened. Although he soon came to the conclusion that if there was anything that could make him feel better, it was club penguin. So Yoongi logged onto the server and was met with his decked out igloo. A small smile appeared on his face when he saw that his bestie, jdope23, was also online. He didn’t hesitate to send a quick message to them, telling them to come to his igloo ASAP. Already Yoongi was starting to be in better spirits, almost forgetting the events that occurred today. Almost.

Within the span of a few minutes jdope23 had appeared in the genius lab, waddling around and messing with yoongi’s things. Yoongi just rolled his eyes, a silly grin plastered on his face as he watched the green penguin start to break dance on the mini dance floor Yoongi had in his igloo.

Sugasweet66: hey wassup nerd

Jdope23: nothing much

Yoongi began to type back a response when another chat bubble appeared on his screen.

Jdope23: Lmao sumthin funny happen today tho

Yoongi furrowed his brows as he typed back.

Sugasweet66: wut

Jdope23: literally best day eva

He sighed at this, it definitely wasn’t the best day ever for him.

Sugasweet66: u gonna tell me or

Jdope23: someone shattered their pants in class HA

Yoongi choked. He literally choked on the saliva forming in his mouth. He couldn’t be? No there was no way on God’s green earth that jdope23 was talking about what had happened to him today in class.

Sugasweet66: LOL I dnt believe u

Jdope23: no 4 rEAL! It happen in my music theory class

Jdope23: this dood let it all go right before the bell rang and it smelled like someone opened a 50 year old tub of mayo

Yoongi thought he would drop dead right then and there. His palms were sweaty and his stomach began to ache at the memories of today. Not only was jdope23 a person in his class but he had witnessed Yoongi’s shitdown!

Sugasweet66: That me

Sugasweet66: I the one who crapped his pants

Jdope23: Lmao wut

Sugasweet66: I pooped my pants today in class!! You witnessed me let the floodgates of my a$$ break free

Jdope23: oh

Jdope23: OH

At this moment in time Hoseok was sitting in his dorm room, staring at his computer screen in complete and utter shock. The person he had been playing club penguin with for over 2 years now, sugasweet66, was actually someone he knew in real life. Someone who, not only was in his music theory class, but was his potential soulmate.

To Hoseok it sounded crazy but it all oddly made sense. The reason why Hoseok felt like he was going to shit himself today was because the boy who actually did shit himself in his class was actually his soulmate! He had always had an infatuation with said boy but never was able to get the courage to introduce himself.

Now he had multiple reasons to strike up a conversation.

The fact that sugasweet66 turned out to be the shitty boy in his class, who was also his soulmate, was merely coincidence but Hoseok felt like it was fate. It was fate that the owner of sugasweet66 shat himself in their music theory class, it was fate that the two had become penguin besties on the most amazing online game (and dating website) to ever exist.

Hoseok was overjoyed to say the least.

Jdope23: I think we’re soulmates

Sugasweet66 was temporarily banned from club penguin for using the phrase “what the actual flying fuck you talking about egghead”.

The end?

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cauldronoflove · 7 years

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Ok so this is really obscure, but I've had this idea for a while now, and I'd love to see you work with it? Headcanons for a time travel AU in which Peter Parker is messing with Stark Tech and gets sent back to the 1940s? He could work with Peggy Carter in the SSR to solve the case and pretend to be her little brother. Plus in 2017 Tony and Steve working together to get him back. If you think it's weird or want to skip it no worries! If not, then thank you so much, I love your headcanons!!

i love this concept so much you dont even know?? but also okay i realized abt halfway through these 2.5k+ words that this wasnt exactly what you asked for and i feel kinda bad about that but i hope you still like it all the same!! also i wanna say thank you for thinking of me for this prompt im super flattered????

- peter wasnt technically supposed to be in the 4th basement of stark tower

- technically he was on his lunch break and was supposed to be using said time to both eat and work on his spanish homework

- but he'd heard these whispers from a couple of the older interns about some of the old stuff that mr. stark had thrown down there because he never had time to finish them and peter had an idea

- see, he's been wanting to move up a bit, have mr. stark trust him a little more, and what's better then maybe taking one of his old designs and making it better and making it work

- so thats why he's in the fourth basement of stark tower, trying to remember if he's had his tetanus shot because some of this stuff is seriously Old

- and then he stumbles onto this little pyramid shaped....doohickey

- its the only thing in 4 floors of Things that doesnt have a label or a file or a crude drawing taped to the front of it so now peter is Officially Curious

- he kinda fiddles with it for a few minutes until his phone beeps with his 'hey pete youre gonna be super late getting back to work again' alarm and he about drops this thing on the floor because like everyday the alarm scares him to death

- but because hes clumsy and because hes pete he actually does drop it and everything goes black

- but everything's fine because he wakes right back up and he's pretty sure that he electrocuted himself but thats happened dozens of times so he picks himself up and brushes himself off and realizes that he may have been out longer than he thought because theres fewer boxes in the room than before and geez his head hurts

- "are you quite alright?"

- oh god he mustve hit his head harder than he thought because that looks like

- "m-miss carter, no sorry, ma'am? oh, oh god i'm so sorry that was so rude, agent? agent ma'am?"

- "this is howard's fault isnt it"

- "howard? as in....oh god oh god"

- "do you know where you are?"

- peter parker loved a lot of things and one of those things was museums and one of those museums in particular had an exhibit on a certain mr. rogers and adjacent to that exhibit was a small plaque about the woman standing in front of him and oh god he was going to hyperventilate and throw up in front of a literal legend and hero at the same time

- "remind me to kill him later. right now lets get you something warm to drink, yes? maybe some new clothes, youre looking a little singed"

- flash forward half an hour and he's sitting in front of the agent carter sipping at some terribly bitter coffee while she pursed and unpursed her lips a few times

- (annnnd time skip back to present day)

- friday: mr stark theres a woman downstairs beating on the door asking for youtony, 47 names going through his head: ...go on

- enter may parker, in her pjs, fire in her eyes, carrying on the legacy of brunette women ready to end a stark's life

- "it is ten o'clock on a school night, i've talked to ned, i've talked to mj and liz, i've talked to every corner sub shop owner, i even had a nice long chat with pepper, yet no one could tell me anything so you better have answers as to where my nephew is anthony"

- and in that moment, tony stark's life flashed before his eyes

- "hey, friday, where is the kid?"

- "peter's vitals havent been detected since 1:32pm on floor D"

- tony: fu-

- (back to pete and peggy)

- so he's quickly caught her up on the gist of whats going on (aka he told her he's from 2017 ny and hed really just like to go home) and she's taking it surprisingly well, all nodding and hmm-ing and cursing howard stark under her breath, kinda how may is when tony does like.. anything

- but now shes leading him through their super secret base and he's trying not to stare because, has he mentioned, hes literally standing next to peggy carter

- "right, well, here's your cot. if you need anything, dugan can help you. he's that one, there, with the cigar. you get some rest and i'll find howard and see if we cant get your...issue squared away. oh, and whatever you do, dont accept anything dernier tries to give you, you've already blown up once today, i dont think you can afford another"

- present day

- tony's been working through the night, a marginally-more-than-slightly disgruntled may beside him, and an even-more-than-marginally-more-than-slightly peeved happy beside her

- ("how do you lose a teenage boy, tony" happy moans to his phone when he wakes up and sees all the missed calls and texts he has)

- good news: it only took like 2 1/2 hours and three shots of espresson for tony to figure out what happened to peter

- bad news: it wasnt even a Tony Stark Exclusive Design, it was a Howard Stark One-Time Use That Was Actually A Malfunction Design, he'd had several more coffees that werent even close to being strong enough, and he had a growing black eye from the punch may landed before happy could pull her away and calm her down (maybe that last part should be in the good news column)

- "so he's just stuck in the 40s alone, then" may surmises, rubbing at the tension headache in her temples

- tony doesnt respond because at this point he needs his other eye for miracle working and depth perception

- "well, probably not alone," happy begins. "i catalogued everything in that level, and that stuff came from one of howard's london facilities, so it was probably calibrated for that time, so he's probably with-"

- tony: "hap, please dont finish that sentence"

- may: "1940s london. so he's with steve, then, safe. with captain america. okay, i can handle that."

- tony: "no, ah, a little later than capsicle, probably"

- may: "so not safe with captain america"

- happy: "safe with agent carter, more likely"

- pete and peggy

- good news: pete made it through the night without being blown up by the howling commandoes

- bad news: once howard was finally located and sobered up, he explained that he hadnt built that particular device yet, so peter was kinda stuck

- peter wasnt coping well

- "i have a spanish test tomorrow! and a trig test on friday! and i'm supposed to hang out with ned on saturday, and then may's gonna kill me when i dont show up for sunday dinner, and shes gonna kill me in general because i never checked in because holy shit i never checked in!"

- howard: peggy he's crying what do i do

- peggy: do i have to do everything myself

- she advances on peter and takes his chin in her hand, locking eyes with him: peter, you know who i am, dont you?

- he nods as best as he can

- "then you must know that i'm going to do everything in my power and then some to get you back home, dont you?"

- "yes ma'am"

- "good. go take a walk while i talk to howard, and if anyone asks, youre my american brother in for a short visit." and then she pats him on the cheek and his soul kinda ascends then and there because agent carter just patted him on the cheek AND gave him permission to tell people he's her brother

- so he goes to take his walk but the thing is when he gets anxious, he likes to fiddle with the loose legos he keeps under his bed, building and rebuilding tiny structures to help ease his nerves

- needless to say, he's an Absolute Nervous Wreck while he waits for some kind of something from peggy or howard and there arent any legos to keep him busy

- so he kind of takes that walk right on down to the lab and starts poking around because even if he is a certified nervous wreck he's also thr most inquisitive little shit that ever did walk the earth

- peggy finds him two hours later with a pair of loose fitting goggles on his forehead, his sweater sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and some . substance on his hands

- "please dont tell me youre somehow howard's long lost son too," she says, taking his appearance in

- he shakes his head as the beakers in front of him emit a puff of green smoke directly into his already scrunched up face "no ma'am; it's just that mr. stark kinda has me on desk duty and never lets me get my hands dirty so i like to take every oppurtunity i can get"

- she nods, "good, because howard needs you to describe what you remember of the device, and then you and i are going to begin the slog through the logistics of it all"

- "ooooookay"

- which is how peter parker ends up sitting across from peggy carter, the both of them scribbling extremely advanced mathematics onto yellowing sheets of paper as howard stark tinkered with some spare parts he had lying around as he tried to construct a crude rendering of the device

- peggy mostly doesnt talk, actually, she hasnt spoken since explaining that shed picked her math skills up on an assignment shed once had where she learned she actually loved numbers and then howard had been letting her do calculations for him in her free time

- peter was too impressed to respond bc from what he gathered she'd only been on that mission for six months and she didnt have much free time which meant she'd had to pick it all up FAST

- anyway, they got at that for hours, until peter cant keep his eyes open and even howard is dwindling; peggy waves them both off to bed but stays and keeps scribbling away

- they repeat that routine for 3 days

- on the 5th night, after she waves them off, peter goes to his cot and he tosses and turns for hours, listening to the commandoes play poker and crack jokes, but he cant sleep

- finally he gets up and just starts walking, anywhere his feet take him

- coincidentally, his feet take him past what he quickly realizes is peggy's room

- "peter why are you still up? is everything all right?" she asks, pulling off these big hulking glasses that made him incredibly homesick because she reminds him so much of may in that moment, big glasses on, hunched over a book in her lap, hair pulled back out of her face

- and he apologizes, but she Knows something's terribly wrong, so she gets up and ushers him away from her doorway, and leads him down a hall or two and then theyre standing in an open space, and she's looking at him like shes trying to solve one of her equations

- "do you know how to throw a punch, peter"

- " whatever youre thinking i dont think its a good idea we dont have any gear and i dont want to get hurt-"

- she shakes her head and asks again, and he finally answers with a kinda

- "'kinda' will get you hurt; watch me" and she begins to demonstrate a few slow punches and he follows her movements and tries to copy them but hes a little sloppy but its ok because she corrects him and finally theyre just standing beside one another counting out punches when she asks "whats on your mind"

- and he doesnt even hesitate he just lets loose everything, how much he misses may and how terrible he feels that he cant get in touch with her, how much he misses ned and mj and liz, how much he misses his fire escape and the deli on the corner and the buildings and then he's crying again, but she gracefully doesnt point it out

- once he's done spitting out everything thats bothering him she gets this kind of sad smile and says, "you remind me of a man i knew. he cared so much about his friends, sometimes to the point of not even worrying about himself, whuch meant he was always in some sort of trouble, as you can imagine. but he always found his way out of a problem, even if he was the one who created it." she laughs slightly then. "i guess what i'm getting at is even if i cant get you back home, even if howard cant, i believe that youll figure it out."

- "are you comparing me to captain anerica right now because i'm already crying and i dont think i can take much more" he says through sniffles, his arms slack by his sides now

- she smiles and nods, keeping her stance, and peter feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this amazing woman who immediately helped him without much of a pause and who's made sure he was okay for the past 5 days and who's up at god knows what time showing him how to throw a punch and being his borderline therapist and he just wants to give her something in return

- "im not sure if im supposed to do this, because for all i know it could tear a hole in the fabric of time and space but i really want to show you this," he begins, pulling his wallet put of his pocket.

- he flicks the little photo holders out and theres may, and theres ned and mj and liz, and theres that cat he found that one time, and theres him and tony, and there, at the bottom, is the time he officially met steve after the whole fight thing and all

- "this was taken a couple months ago; well, a couple months for me, it's decades from now, but here," and he holds out his wallet for her to see and she looks over the photo curiously before she understands and a tear slips down her cheek and she smiles the most grand smile

- "thank you, peter" and she passes the wallet back and puts her hand on his shoulder and says "i promise i'll have you home in time for sunday dinner"

- and she does

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