#she has to shove herself to the side in order for the relationship to happen
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ur agents in particular FASCINATE me so so much i love your interpretations of them. could u tell us more about them and their stories? particularly 8, theyre so interesting!!! why do they hate marina? what happened between them and 3? what’s their relationship like with 4? anything you wanna say abt them, i’d love the infodump
omgosh....😇
a few days ago i wrote a thing that like. detailed stuff about major events with 8. i'll paste them here
agent 8 during the entire course of Octo Expansion was extremely shaken up. they couldn't think straight at all, leaving them vulnerable. sanitized cap3 wasn't much different too, she still had some control over herself and she never wanted to fight 8, making the battle between them long and confusing. eventually 8 gave up and walked up to her, ripping the sanitized goop right off her head (which, to cap3, felt like shoving a screwdriver into her eye)
during the inner agent 3 fight, was unconscious, so this was more like a a made-up battle. this 3 (dubbed enigma3) was formed out of cap3's repressed traits of herself and how 8 sees her, rather than being the 3 that 8 saw fight octavio. she's quiet, cold, confusing, and only wants to play mind games with 8. she never really left 8's conscience, but only appears when agent 8 is deathly worried about cap3
after the events of Octo Expansion, 8 absolutely adored marina. they were still a little shy though, so when marina wanted to talk to them they would kind of freak out. marina didn't mind though, and they were able to get to know each other somewhat, with 8 adapting some of marina's traits and behaviors. 8 had nowhere else to go other than sleeping behind crusty sean's food truck and park benches, so pearl let them stay with him and marina for 2 months. after those two months, pearl got in touch with agent 4 via marie (making him fawn all over meeting off the hook) and asked 4 if he could let 8 stay over (since pearl felt like they were watching him in his sleep) and fortunately, 4 said yes
after 8's mind finally clears up they start to question what's wrong with them and feel the weight of overthinking, which sends them spiraling down for the years to come (presumably the effects of tartar messing with their brain). 8 relentlessly questions cap3, rarely leaving her alone, and in turn it affects their relationship with cap3 in a negative way. when asked why they're so curious, 8 goes silent and refuses to answer
(small bit about cap3) cap3 feels like she's at fault for how 8 turned out since they started breaking after OE. she tries to make it up for them but she thinks she's only ruining them. her expectations for herself are set higher and higher, yet nothing she does is good enough. she won't give herself a break, beating herself up over every little detail and being highly critical to the point where she's stuck in a loop of self-destruction and loathing
8 slowly loses their trust in things and those they love, becoming scared and paranoid. it wasn't until side order that this was more prevalent.
in side order (AU), 8 has lost most of their memories, and the moments with the other agents and idols still remain but just barely. 8 is afraid of marina and has a deep dislike for her, but this was due to them not thinking for themself, instead listening to their gut. their brain fog is back more than ever, and whenever they try to walk for prolonged amounts of time they end up stumbling to their knees.
they can no longer tell the difference between reality and fiction. it's all a blur to them. they can feel marina's eyes everywhere. they can barely remember if who or what meant something, anything, to them. though having a deep dislike for marina, they want to be held by her. to be loved like a child. they never ask her of anything, instead just letting it burn into their brain until it breaks them completely. they want attention but they fear they'll be seen as needy and annoying. they want to apologize for everything and be forgiven. 8 doesn't know who is who, they've been copied so much they're just deemed a blank slate to be imprinted on. they watch everything disappear from their hands, unable to do anything about it. from being excited about what's to come in the near future, to being scared about losing the present and wanting to go back to the past
and then here's another little bit about 8 in side order: represents a crumbling mental state, begging for reassurance, desperately trying to hold on to fleeting memories. their trust is lost in everything but they want it all to return to normal, struggling to accept the fact that it never will
then about marina: represents a mother figure somewhat, but even she still fails to live up to that role fully. she distances herself from 8 who is always going after her just to be comforted, yet she denies it for them. she has the same goals as 8, clinging on to the present and never embracing change, but doing so only harms her and others and this behavior continues on and on
+ marina doesn't want to interact with 8 because she sees her younger self in them, she refuses to go back to that era of her life and 8 keeps promising her they'll be what she wanted to be. anything for them to be accepted, to be held in loving arms again. the lack of communication between them makes their relationship even more strained. but clearly marina still cares about 8, they were the only one to be let out of her mind control. she wanted to check on them and make sure they're okay, but what she got in return was someone that hated her
^^ their relationship is basically like this. constantly wanting to communicate with the other but being pushed away, they never fill each other's voids
onto agent 4 and 8... they have a relatively healthy relationship. 4 is 8 (and cap3)'s shoulder to cry on, he always tries his best to help them with whatever. since him and 8 both like off the hook, they'd talk about them non stop. 8 likes to give 4 details about how oth are off-stage since 8 frequently hangs out with them and stuff
4 appears as parallel canon in side order, but instead of other copies of himself, the other robots resemble agent 8 and cap3. they all circle 8 and mock them for forgetting everything about themself and their significant others, much like inner agent 3
nd i don't think i got anything else to say about those 3......that's all^_^ i'm soooo normal i'm normal
#I'M NOT NORMAL#splatoon#agent 8#captain 3#spingly (4)#agent 24#agent 32#agent 96#splatagents#side order#side order au#inbox q
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Hiii!
I don't know if your requests are open, but...
Can I request an very angst fic with bakugou (or Hawks) where reader dies violently? She is latina :)
Thank you for your time 💕
hi babe, i'll write something more detailed than this later. For now, I've got a headcanon that I hope is to your liking. 💟 For this prompt though, I'm bringing barbarian!katsuki out of hiatus || (dungeons & dragons!au)
barbarian!katsuki and his half-elf cleric join a party that they've crossed passed with often for a raid that snowballs into facing off against a dragon and a sorcerer with a malicious agenda
the entire time, his half-elf cleric is struggling with her magic and holy connection. As a result of barbarian!katsuki's influence over her (but doesn't regret following him), racked with guilt and mourning her strained relationship with her goddess
barbarian!katsuki is frustrated they can never find themselves alone – not how they used to be. he's constantly irritated by the friends they travel with, and he refuses to expose the vulnerable side he reserves for her, so barbarian!katsuki misses every opportunity to check on his sensitive half-elf cleric until it's too late.
in their confrontation against the sorcerer and hoards of goblins, his half-elf cleric's spells are taking too long to cast, and every hit she takes when barbarian!katsuki's cornered on the other end of the field makes it harder for her to summon energy.
but before long, barbarian!katsuki flies to her aid, taking on two hoards while yelling at his half-elf cleric at the center,
"The fuck are you stalling for? Quit fucking around, and get us out of here!"
barbarian!katsuki is fueled by frustration and deep concern as he throws his massive blade around to create distance from the mass enemy. he orders the rest of the party to return to their position, and the others find their way back in the next few moments.
"Now! Cast it!"
his half-elf cleric's eyes glow bright, and their party is surrounded by magic as the scene around them shifts to their next destination. an archer outside the barrier finds an opening, and it flies straight through the field, just over barbarian!katsuki's shoulder and into his half-elf cleric's outstretched arm.
barbarian!katsuki's focus on their escape is wholly overridden by her cry of pain, and he turns his back on the enemy to reach her.
but his half-elf cleric hasn't forgotten where they are or who they're against, and she throws her body into his side to shove him away – taking a wide knife into her back.
barbarian!katsuki isn't processing what's happening fast enough, but his half-elf cleric has tears in her eyes and a flash of panic when she feels herself tugged back by the chain at the hilt of the blade.
his half-elf cleric's lovely magic aura washes over her eyes, and she sputters a quick "I love yo-" before the enemy pulls their end and yank you out of the enchanted circle, out of his arms.
and the next moment, the wall of magic is gone, and they're in a bright field. Flowers and birds are chirping, a stark contrast to the gory battle they just escaped.
but they're missing a member, and her absence is deafening. barbarian!katsuki doesn't make a sound, and the rest of the party is in shock, not understanding where it all went wrong.
he can't go back right now, barbarian!katsuki keeps telling himself. it would be suicide, for him and their party, and he's blinded by rage and overwhelming grief that he won't give his life right now after his half-elf cleric had done it for him.
not exactly 'violent', but the subtext is there; hope this is okay for now, respectfully lmk your opinions in the comments ty <3
#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katuski x reader#barbarian bakugo x reader#barbarian bakugou#katsuki angst#bakugou angst
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Ghost and Doc (Personalities/Character Sheet)
(Y/n) (L/n):
Someone who you’d have a good Friday night with.
Short as fuck in some cases. We’re talking 5’2”
Could also be called the ‘mom’ of any group due to her medical abilities as well as motherly personality. (She places the blame on her daughter, Kennedy)
Normally, she’s a bold person with her feelings, but if she senses something that is unwarranted, she backs off. Has feelings for Ghost but won’t say shit because of how closed off he is--
Former alcoholic. If (Y/n) were to spiral into a depression, the want for it would return. Is currently two years sober thanks to a friend, Gary “Roach” Sanderson, who helped her through it.
Approaches any sort of romantic relationship as if it were a ticking time bomb. Doesn’t trust many people after her last marriage ended due to her job and not being around.
Loves children. They’re her weak spot in missions. Like, if she were to see a child die on her watch during a mission, she’d blame it on herself. Not even Soap could talk her out of placing the blame like that.
Simon “Ghost” Riley
Stone cold. Doesn’t like going out unless it’s for celebratory reasons or absolutely necessary. Borderline introvert. And his mask is not wanted in most places he goes to, so he just tells Gaz or Soap to go to the store instead.
He’s a tall man, 6’4”, appreciates smaller women- but doesn’t mind someone around his height. Not that he would admit this to anyone else
Takes charge in a lot of situations, unless Price is there.
Won’t talk about feelings to anyone. Not even his supposed bestie, Soap. He’s a very closed-off individual and wants to keep it that way. Even drunk, when feelings usually come out, his mouth remains shut. He’s been closed off for twelve years and he plans to keep it that way.
Romance? No way. The 141 comes first. There’s no room or time for any romance in his line of work. Not even if he wants--
It’s not that he doesn’t like children or anything, it has to do with his past. He sees a child and the ghost of his nephew’s face crosses over the kid’s. And he hates that happening. Ghost would rather not get involved in such things.
Has nightmares about his past daily--
Simon Riley
Ghost’s shut down side of himself. Only comes out when it matters or during situations when the old Simon would react. Happens a lot during sensitive times. Unfortunately, Ghost shoves Simon down and 98% of the time- it’s Ghost’s reaction and not Simon’s.
Still introverted, but contains an extroverted part of himself. More conversative, reacts to things more- probably wouldn’t wear the mask too.
Feelings? Definitely talk about them. Simon tries his best to insert himself in situations that Ghost doesn’t do too well in. Like when you had a bottle in your hand and were struggling because of your daughter? Simon pushed something out to help Ghost. Later, he was put back in his place.
Romance would be nice, but this man has been through a lot of hurt. He sees a lot in women, but knows that what he feels won’t matter considering he’s not the one driving this car anymore. Simon does, however, do his best when it comes to you. He adds little sprinkles of feelings when Ghost is around you, it’s not much- but it’ll have to do for now. Ghost reminds him of rank--
Comes out more when talking to Soap, Gaz, Alejandro and Price. It hurts when Ghost puts him to the side.
John “Soap” MacTavish
The man who would join you on a Friday night, just so he can watch drink intake.
Wishes he was taller than Ghost, even though he’s only two inches shorter than the man.
Knows the difference between Ghost and Simon. Likes both of them, mostly because they both have banger dad jokes. Is 100% by Ghost’s side when Simon takes over to be overly emotional. Is also there for nightmares, because no one should be alone during that.
Your and Ghost’s bestie
Has a thing for disobeying small orders, doesn’t understand why he’s getting chewed out for it- for some reason.
This man could talk about his feelings for days. Soap always has a lot on his mind, not only about himself but about others as well. Some would consider him the dad of the group when Price isn't around, but it sounds weird since you’re the mom- so whoever says that earns a “Shut the fuck up” in response.
Does Soap like-like anyone? (Yes, I said it like that- fight me.) He’d rather not dabble in relationships with coworkers, but will 100% help others do so. It’s why he’s so pokey about your apparent crush on Ghost. Rank be damned, just keep it a secret, right?
Would have loved to meet Kennedy. Doesn’t like other kids because of this new generation- they fucking suck.
Kyle “Gaz” Garrick
Will drink everyone under the table, mostly because he’s the only one drinking a lot. Will accept shots from women around the bar, because they’re free drinks… duh.
Considers himself of average height. Anyone else is too tall or too short.
Tries not to get involved in everyone's stuff. But sometimes he can’t help it, mostly because whoever it is ends up dragging everyone by accident.
Calls Price dad sometimes (Price laughs and appreciates the gesture)
After playing MineCraft at your house, he totally convinced Alejandro to get it on their laptops so they could continue playing.
Relationships? What are those? Gaz moves on his own, doesn’t have any romantic attachments.
Children are iffy. Like the others, would’ve loved to meet Kennedy.
Alejandro Varges
Drinks with Gaz, and Soap when he wants to get wasted. Unlike the stereotypes, doesn’t really like tequila all that much. He’s a dark drink kind of guy.
Doesn’t see an issue with his height. Doesn’t want to be taller or shorter though.
Involvement in matters that are not his own tend to lead him away. But with the 141? They’re his brothers, he’ll help as much as he can without overstepping.
Considering relationships… he’s bisexual. Formerly with Valeria, but now with Rudy. He can’t say that out loud though, because he’s mostly afraid of what will happen. Would totally reassure you considering rank if he knew about it
Loves children. Has totally talked to Rudy about adopting once they retire. Sad and empathetic when Kennedy passed away. Wished he could’ve stayed longer to comfort you.
Captain John Price
Goes out for drinks with the others, to enjoy the taste of the alcohol- not get wasted from it. Will keep an eye on everyone’s intake as well.
Doesn’t give a shit about his height or other’s. He’s the captain.
He’d rather not be involved because of his status/rank and what he would have to pull. So, he tries to keep to himself unless things go haywire. It isn’t his business until it is, you know?
Relationships: Classified.
Doesn’t like children much, too much to keep up with generation after generation. And the 141 occasionally acts like a bunch of 5 year olds… so he already has to take care of that. He does have two little girls at home though, but that's classified information.
Gary “Roach” Sanderson
Doesn’t have time for drinks. Is almost always out on an assignment or deployed in general. When he’s not, he’s relaxing at home- asleep.
No issue with his height, standing at 6’1”. When you two were younger, he loved leaning on your shoulder. Found it hilarious. Totally makes fun of your height.
Likes to take charge outside of work. Not in the sexual sense- or maybe in the sexual sense, idk. He has this sense of authority around him. It’s why he's a good help when you’re at your worst, because Roach can keep you above the line.
Roach can’t help but get involved. He’s like your personal therapist, but still a friend. He hears everything and can only give reassuring words. He tried not to say much when Ghost was mentioned
Oh yeah. He has clear beef with Ghost. They were on an assignment years ago together, and a fire was involved. Roach was knocked out in the flames and Ghost assumed him dead. But clearly, he’s alive… and bitter about it. Your team member leaving you isn’t exactly excellent news. Has burn scars all over his body because of it.
Also- most of the jokes that Ghost says? Got them from Roach. It’s funny, isn’t it?
Relationships: Doesn't bother with them. He thinks no one will take him as he is. And the one person that will does not have romantic feelings for him. So why try?
Only loves one child: Kennedy. The little girl was nice to be around when he could be around her. Does that mean he’ll ever bring a child into his life? Nope.
Taglist: @redpool, @calicokitkat, @abbiesxox, @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore, @tescomealdeals-blog, @judachoo, @cabreezer0117, @reiya-djarin, @cutiecusp, @m0chac0ffee, @cassie-vizsla, @seasaltt99, @lazy-kari202, @comedinewithmeyeah, @somnibats, @badpvn, @peachy-is-obsessed, @bookoffracturedghosts, @dorck26, @adeptusnunya, @wonusbitch, @m00vp, @user1727381919
#john soap mactavish#ghost mw2#mwii#kyle gaz garrick#ghost x female reader#ghost x you#simon ghost riley#ghost and doc#female reader#captain price#alejandro vargas#author#character chart#gary roach sanderson
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Pairing: Ash (self-insert)/Balthus
Word Count: About 1.7k
Warnings: Swearing, vague descriptions of injuries and blood, some slightly suggestive lines, Ash is very much emotionally constipated.
Synopsis: After a late-night run-in with some mercenaries, Balthus stumbles back to Abyss bloody and bruised. The only person awake to heal him is the woman he always felt drawn to, Ash. Ash isn't used to having people in her life that she cared for, so why did the thought of him make her feel so... weak? Pre-relationship.
Having lived underground for years, the King of Grappling has little sense of day and night.
As he wipes some blood from his chest, he thinks to himself that clearly, neither did the men his stepmother sent after him.
I'm never coming back. What's it gonna take for that witch to realize that?!
Bloody and bruised, Balthus stumbles his way through the lush green grass of the Monastery to the dark and dusty walls of Abyss. The cold bricks and the horrible, sewer smell are little more of a comfort than the chill of the air outside, but he didn't hate it. A prison to others, a home to him.
Ash is disturbed from her late-night reading by the faint sound of heavy footsteps on the stone stairs leading down to this hell. It was typically dead silent at this hour, so to hear someone... Were they being attacked? But by only one man?
She looks around, and slowly steps out of the Shadow Library to see Abysskeeper on-guard as always. He gives her a look of acknowledgement. To that, Ash gives him a glare.
"I'll take care of it."
Her voice is deep and rough, just like how it always was. Abysskeeper took orders from no one, not even the Garreg Mach keeper whom he found to be more charming than he'd like to admit. And yet, he steps aside at Ash's word. Who was to deny one of Abyss' guardians herself?
... Especially since she'd probably stab him if he didn't.
Ash steps closer to the stairs as the footsteps get louder. A hand resting on the blade by her side, which served as a constant reminder of her being trapped in this world of fighting. There was no escape. Any blood spilled with repayed for more. A horrible cycle, and she was stuck in the middle of it, stuck in her past, stuck in Abyss, stuck in her feelings, stuck in a war, horrified and scared and-
Balthus.
Covered in bruises and cuts, Balthus wipes some of the blood from his cheek with the back of his hand. Ash's hand relaxes, falling back to her side.
"Balthus."
"Ash! Always a pleasure."
And Balthus flashes her a bloody, toothy grin. Ash just rolls her eyes, which Balthus seems to enjoy, judging by the way he threw his head back and laughed.
"Heartless as ever! You wound me, my lady."
Heartless...
Balthus thinks to himself,
She's far from it. I caught her teaching the kids how to read the other day.
Ash ignores the comment and just looks at him blanky. If she was concerned, she didn't show it. If only he knew the way she worried about him, having not come back until so late. What if something happened to him?!
"What happened to you?"
Balthus' expression hardens for a moment before resuming to his usual, easy smirk,
"Oh, you know how it goes, pal. One drink too many, a lost bet, and-"
"Predictable as ever. Pathetic."
But Ash couldn't just let him stand there all beat up. She couldn't bear the sight of him hurt, and she hated to admit it. Why did she care about him so much?
She reaches a hand out to his and grabs his wrist, pulling him into the Shadow Library.
"Woah there- Pal! What are you doing?"
"You're so... so stupid!"
"Jeez, you're mean... Now who's predictable?"
Ash shoves him down onto the table, and Balthus can't help but think that he likes it when she's that harsh with him. The way that her grip hurt so damn good, the way her hair fell in her face as her moved... She was intoxicating. Absolutely fucking intoxicating.
Ash takes off her own long coat and sets it down onto another table. Balthus notices that even through her sleeves, her arms look strong. And Balthus gladly drinks in the sight of her muscles, the healed scars on her forearms from a life of too much war.
"Didn't realize it was going to be this kind of encounter, but I don't mind."
"Shut up. Take off your jacket."
"Ooh, I like it when you talk to me like that, pal. Wanted to see me strip that bad, yeah?"
Ash's breath hitches in her throat. Fuck.
"That's not what I meant and you know it. You're injured and I wanna see-"
"You're not one to waste time... Of course you wanna see! Who'd pass up an opportunity to see the King of Grappling's iron bod?"
Ash groans,
"Can't you just shut up?! Let me heal you, you idiot! You think I'm not worried about you?!"
Ash crosses her arms over her chest. She hopes her yelling didn't wake any of the Abyssians.
Balthus' brown eyes go wide, but he quickly gathers himself and smiles as he takes off his jacket. Slow and steady, making it a show for her. She hates how much it affects her. Balthus was, without a doubt, the most muscular man she had ever seen. And he had a love for walking around shirtless, too. The way he moved...
Ash leans in and runs her fingers over his bare skin, over the defined muscles of his chest, over the bruises all over him. Her touch was light, too light. Balthus wanted more.
"That was one hell of a bar fight.."
Ash's voice is a quiet whisper as she feels his injuries. Feels him.
"I'm going to heal you."
And before Balthus can protest (not that he'd want to), Ash presses a hand to each of his injuries and casts her healing spells.
She casts her spells again and again, and Balthus can feel the pain start to fade away. To distract himself from the burning sting of his bruises fading, he looks at her. Watches her. The way her brown eyes narrowed in concentration...
Ash steps back after she completes her round of healing spells. Even after all her work, some blood remained.
Balthus shifts uncomfortably on the wooden table of the Shadow Library, glancing over at his arm. They cut him, too.
"I'll get bandages."
He's never heard Ash's voice so soft. Even with the healing spells, he couldn't deny that he was getting a little drowsy.
Ash comes back a minute or two later with the best supplies she could manage to get in a place like this. Perhaps she'd pay a visit to the surface soon, steal some new ones. And even if she did get caught, she'd make sure there wasn't a single person left alive to tell the tale.
Slowly but surely, Ash cleans Balthus' wounds. Balthus winces at the sting, but through gritted teeth, he can't resist being cheeky.
"Bet you like this, yeah? Hearing me squirm under your touch."
The best Ash offers him is a racing heart and a scoff,
"That's cute."
Ash presses down extra hard on his cuts, and Balthus yelps.
She looks into his eyes, her eyes just as hard as always, but her lips twitched up in a smirk,
"That's a good boy. Now shut up."
"Ouch... Bit of a sadistic one, aren't you?"
"Only sometimes."
Ash leans in close to see the injuries on his face. Goodness, she was so beautiful up close. Her hair, always a little messy fell into her face. She places a hand on his bare chest.
"Your heart is racing, Balthus. Don't tell me you like having me like this."
Balthus meets her gaze directly,
"One more word from you, pal, and I'll flip you onto this table. Show you who's King around here."
Ash chuckles,
"In this state, I'd like to see you try."
She leans in close to his ear, her voice a dark whisper,
"And who's to say I don't like it better when it's like this?"
Balthus chuckles, and Ash grabs for the bandages, carefully wrapping him up.
Her words were harsh, but her touch was gentle on his skin. Like she didn't want to hurt him even more.
They fall into a silence. Not quite awkward, not quite comfortable. The tension in the air made it hard for them to feel much of anything other than each other.
Inspecting her work, Ash steps away.
"You..."
Ash's voice trembles,
"You can't keep doing this... All you ever do is get beat up."
"It's what I do best, pal!"
"You're an idiot! I can't bear the sight of you like this."
"It's starting to sound to me like you care about my wellbeing."
Ash hesitates, and it takes her a second to respond, thinking about every single word. She couldn't let him know how she really felt. A woman like her didn't do love.
"You're important to the people in Abyss. So don't you dare get yourself killed."
She spends a moment with a hand on his chest, looking so deeply into his eyes. The moment feels like an eternity... But then she rips her gaze away and pulls back, and her touch seems to linger on his skin.
"I'm going to bed, Balthus. Goodnight."
Balthus straightens up on the table,
"Don't want company?"
"You'd wake Constance up. Then you'd be dead for real."
"How about my bed?"
"Then we'd wake Yuri up and never hear the end of it."
"Guess you're right about that, pal."*
Ash yawns before she can get another smart response out, and Balthus finds the gesture oddly cute. She couldn't be much older than him, and she looked so... soft. Sweet. Like there was more to her than he knew.
Ash picks up her coat and begins to walk away. Ash shoots him one last look before she leaves the library. Ash was always an enigma of sorts, and Balthus didn't put too much thought into understanding her. But there was something about that look that he couldn't quite decipher. He felt... odd.
And so, there Balthus is. Half-naked at the dead of night in the middle of the Shadow Library, left to deal with the dulling pain of his wounds (she was a great healer!) and the weird flutter in his chest all alone.
Great.
#I DID IT!!! I WROTE SOMETHING!!!!!!!!#heres a pre-relationship ash/b.althus thing :D#ash rambles 💚#selfship#selfship writing#f/o community#f/o x s/i#self insert#uhhh what else do i tag this as#you know what? i think that's fine#enjoy :D!!!#feel free to rb if you want#me x the boys#ash writes 💚✌️#oh and. i am indian so..#bipoc selfship 2023
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saw this on pinterest and i thought, why not do this for my main oc alma? so here’s a huge info dump about alma forrest :>
★彡
1. Alma is 16, and she has two sisters. An older sister who is 25 (Kisaiya) and a twin younger sister (Remi). Both Alma and Remi are estranged from Kisaiya, who left them for complicated reasons. Both Alma and Remi hold grudges against Kisaiya. Alma holds a deep grudge that she just can't get over, but she hides her anger pretty well. Remi lashes out when people mention Kisaiya, but when they are reunited, she forgives her pretty quickly while Alma never quite gets over Kisaiya's abandonment. Alma and Remi were very close as children, even more so after Kisaiya left them. They developed a co-dependent relationship (they were 9 years old for stars' sake). However, they slowly drifted apart due to many reasons. Nowadays, their relationship is complicated, but they've been working through stuff. But out of the two sisters, Alma is definitely closer to Remi.
2. Alma (and Remi) were raised by Kisaiya on the streets ever since she was 4 years old, both she and Remi can't remember their life before that. Therefore, she doesn't have a relationship with her mother (she doesn't know who her mother is). When Alma and Remi were younger, they asked Kisaiya about their parents, which always upset Kisaiya and resulted in her snapping at the two. So they don't ask her about their parents anymore. Sometimes, however, she wonders what her mother would be like.
3. Same with the reply to 2, Alma doesn't know who her father is.
4. Yes, when Kisaiya left Alma, she was forced to quickly shove down her own tumultuous emotions to take up the role of a reliable older sister between herself and Remi. This is because Remi has always been impulsive and hot-headed, which gets her in a lot of trouble on the streets. This made Alma a lot more responsible and her childhood was basically cut short. She became a very paranoid person after this, always cautious of what harm could come her and her sister's way. To ensure that they can survive on the rough streets of Dragonmiles (the city they live in), she becomes more selfish in order to provide for the two. Kisaiya's abandonment had resulted in Alma developing some issues regarding interpersonal relationships. Her abandonment issues and trust issues were debilitating for the first year or so after what happened with Kisaiya. Although she tried hard to work through her problems in the following years, she was never quite the same person as before after that.
5. A pocket knife (for self-defence) and sweets (for my other oc, Cassidy, who burns away calories way too quickly due to her powers). If the story took place in our world, it would probably be a taser/pepper spray and sweets.
6. Alma doesn't dream often, but when she does, it's usually random stuff that doesn't make sense.
7. Like what I answered in 6, Alma doesn't dream often. Sometimes when she does have nightmares, they are typically about the people she cares about dying in front of her/leaving her/betraying her etc.
8. No, she hasn't. The only way for her to get a gun in her situation is to interact with the shadier side of Dragonmiles, which she purposefully stays away from. Even though she committed petty crimes and robbery in her early days of surviving on the streets without Kisaiya to sustain herself and Remi, Alma doesn't want to dip her hands in the criminal underbelly of the city (in fear of bringing negative attention and harm to herself and the people she cares about).
9. Sort of?? She doesn't squat in abandoned houses anymore, which is a huge improvement. She currently lives with her chosen family of three other girls (my other main ocs). She has somewhat of a parental figure whom she apprentices under (he is an ex-military medic and was seen as the medical genius of his time before things happened, and he was disgraced). At least now she doesn't live on the streets anymore, so that's a huge improvement
10. No preference. Although she does like the feeling of longer sleeves and longer shorts/pants.
★彡

thank you for reading this awfully long ramble jsjxnxnd
i love my ocs sm they are what’s on my mind 24/7
#oc#oc rambles#oc ramble#original characters#original character#original character rambles#oc brainrot#oc brainrot moment#oc lore#original character lore#worldbuilding#worldbuilding project#bamboooo#bambooverse
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CN and LB not being equal isn't a feminism thing to me, as that's not really the point of why it sucks that they aren't?
It's because they built up this partnership, this equal share, yin and yang, push and pull and then... Just abandoned it. They ignored Adrien and Chat Noir more and more, tried to insert Marinette into a plot where he only relevance is "I love him" and then gave a bunch of plot points to another blond boy with a dead parent that should have been given to Adrien.
Adrien just gets shoved out of his own story, denied his support system and left more and more and more alone and it's treated not as the horrifying, unbelievable tragedy it is and as just... A thing that's happening. Not important compared to Ladybug. Marinettes the protag, but don't set up a deuteragonist if he's never gonna be that. If Adriens a side character, keep him that. Don't get up anybody's hopes he'll ever be more than that.
To be fair with Felix, he plays a VERY different role in the story from Adrien, so I don't think he's really encroaching on him in that way. Felix is solidly an antagonist, and while he's had a bunch of plot points thrown at him, it was to use in antagonistic ways, not to replace Adrien's role in them.
I do agree on the issue with it being presented as an equal partnership by the show, and then not showing it as much. That being said, part of the message of the whole Ladynoir Conflict in season 4 seemed to be that them being that imbalanced was a BAD thing, and that they need to have more even roles, in order to truly be at their best. That while Ladybug may be the strategist who mainly comes up with plans, she still needs to listen to Chat Noir and involve him in them.
I wouldn't say the story's ignoring Adrien though. Hell, I'd say that season 4 paid more attention to him than ever before, digging into his thoughts and feelings and his relationships evolving. I do think he should have gotten more screentime to delve into those aspects more - especially since there were, like you said, a few points where Marinette was inserted when she had little relevance. As much as I enjoyed Marc and Nathaniel's drawings and the whole "Marinette pretending to be a waiter" plotline in "Gabriel Agreste", that time should really have gone to the Adrigami reconciliation, for instance.
But even with all that, I'd say Adrien was the real star of season 4 (though Alya also did very well for herself). He may not have gotten as much screentime as Marinette did, but a lot of the most important scenes, the ones with the highest emotional stakes, centered around his feelings and development.
I do agree on the horror of Adrien's support system weakening, though it's still around at least. I wish that the story would really acknowledge what that lack of support means, that he really doesn't have a lot of people he depends on outside of Marinette, Ladybug, and Plagg. Marinette goes through some tough times, but she has a ton of support when she needs it.
I think that Adrien IS, in fact, a deuteragonist. It just feels like he isn't as prominent as he should be, because well... he's got all the plot connections and the most interesting backstory, and the angstiest, most emotional plotline. It's less that he doesn't get the amount of focus that a deuteragonist should have, and more that the amount of focus he gets is far less than you'd expect, relative to how interesting and emotional his plotline is.
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i think rhaenyra is to alicent what viserys is to daemon.
i want to start by defining what viserys is to daemon. he's the older brother the thwarted brother husband the one whose side daemon wants to be at always. he wants to be his attack dog and hand of the king and protector (of the realm!!!!!! rhaenyra becomes the realm when viserys won't take that mantle). alicent is similar to him in a lot of ways -- she's always begging for rhaenyra to Look at her and See her, the way daemon does to viserys. but while daemon does this by acting out, alicent pleads silently but so loudly, always looking to rhaenyra, always prioritizing her behind the scenes, touching her hand, trying to help her. daemon shoves himself in viserys' face, and while rhaenyra can see something of herself/what she wants in that, viserys just sees the petulant 16 year old boy he sent away. making a mess and smashing his toys because he was asked to put them away.
while alicent doesn't (or can't) show herself to rhaenyra. she is trapped behind her role as queen and discomfited by rhaenyra's rejection and doesn't know that if she just screamed and yelled and said i hate this, rhaenyra would understand. but what could she even say? as she says in 1.09, she didn't even know how to want anything, or who she really is. she wants rhaenyra but she didn't know that in any articulable way. and she can't know to want to break free of her position and grace open in order to show rhaenyra that the girl she knew is still in there. it takes her literally a decade to be able to act out and show her hurt to rhaenyra, but by the time that happens there are already children involved and it's no longer about just them. so rhaenyra doesn't see alicent, just the way viserys doesn't see daemon. (i think the page is a moment where rhaenyra DOES and that is why i’ll defend it to my last breath). alicent also taking the role of protector for rhaenyra (pleading on her behalf to viserys, defending her claim) but in a much quieter and more limited way than daemon. he will go full dragon and viserys thinks that's too much. vs alicent can't go dragon and rhaenyra thinks it isn't enough.
and then we have the key difference that what daemon wants from viserys he is able to get in many (but not all) ways from rhaenyra. he can be her visenya. he can act out and she’ll interpret it correctly (see 1.10). but who does alicent have? there is no one who gives her what she wanted from rhaenyra. there is no one who sees her but rhaenyra, there is no one who she wants to Look other than rhaenyra. (criston DOES NOT count). long story short it isn’t a one to one but they share that this is the defining relationship of their lives and all that comes after. everything they do is because that one relationship was lost to them. daemon gets to soothe his loneliness with rhaenyra. alicent has no one.
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Mine To Love
Summary: Every other year, you’re required to train the new SHIELD agents, but will your relationship with Natasha survive the ups and downs when a certain new recruit becomes enthralled by you?
Pairing: Natasha x Reader
Warnings: blood, cheating, torture, drugs, obsession, stalking, sexual assault
Words: 26,106
✎
♞This is a dark fic as confirmed by multiple readers. Please read at your own risk! ♞
The first time she laid eyes on you, she had thought she was still asleep. The beauty, the perfection that caught her attention was only able to be manifested in a dream, but here she was, staring at the impossible goddess as she continued to pinch herself in an attempt to wake up. She was instantly drawn to you, ignoring whoever was talking to her to marvel at you. The way your ears perked up when you smiled, how your eyes sparkled when you spoke, your tongue flicking out to lick your lips when you listened. She was on the other side of the room, but your laughter reached her ears and it was the only noise she heard in the busy lobby.
You placed a hand on Clint's elbow, bidding him a farewell before walking away. Jealousy instantly fell upon her as you left the room, eyebrows pinched together in anger as she watched Clint turn and approach the small group, ordering for attention.
"Welcome to SHIELD, agents," he called out, a smile plastered on his face. The room instantly quieted down, all eyes on Clint Barton as he greeted the new agents. She was amongst the group, a fresh face in the middle of even more fresh faces. She couldn't get her mind off of you, already knowing she wanted you. "This is officially your first day in changing the world. Does anybody have any questions before we begin?"
Her hand was in the air faster than the rest of the recruits, Clint's eyes landing on her immediately. He glanced down at the clipboard in his hands briefly before looking back up at her with a grin.
"Agent Hopkins, what's your question?"
"Who was that you were talking to?" She knew the other agents must have better questions than her, but she couldn't find it within herself to really care. That was the most important question to her: your name. She wanted to feel it come off of her lips, form on her tongue. She needed to know your name urgently.
Confusion crossed Clint's features, clearly not expecting that to be the first question. But he quickly regained himself, his small smile returning. "That was Y/N," he answered. "Some of you will be training under her. She is one of the best agents we have, so you'll all learn a lot from her. Any other questions?"
Her hand remained down this time.
Y/N. The way it felt so natural to think, even more natural than breathing, just made every concern and fear she had from her first day disappear. Her imagination can't even begin to fathom how your touch feels, how your voice sounds. She needed to hear you, only your laugh was replaying in her head. And as that was enough for now, it wouldn't be enough forever.
Clint's words blurred into the background as she let her mind wander, thinking about you, how her first meeting with you would go, how she could be a reason why you smile or, if she's lucky enough, laugh.
"There's six of you," Clint announced, dragging her attention back to his speech. She cleared her throat when she realized that she had been blushing, her face hot with red. "You're going to be put into groups of two and you're going to shadow an agent." He read off the list and she felt her heart drop when her name was attached to a Romanoff and not yours.
But it's okay. Once she's done with training, she'll have you wrapped around her finger.
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You were too busy looking down at your phone to see where you were going, rounding a corner rather sharply. You ended up running into somebody, your phone falling out of your hands at the sudden impact and you immediately looked up. You made eye contact with a doe-eyed woman, her eyes wide in shocked surprise as a small smile settled on your face. Her black hair extended past her shoulders, light and bouncy.
You don't know how many times she had apologized, bending down to pick your phone up for you, but you knew it was at least a thousand.
"Hey, it's okay," you assured. "Accidents happen. Besides, I'm pretty sure it was mostly my fault anyway." You accepted your phone from her and shoved it into your pocket, her face still frozen in shock. "You're new, aren't you? What's your name?"
"Agent Maria Hopkins." She moved her hand up to her forehead, her body straightening as she offered you a rigid salute and you laughed. There was that sound again, the laughter she had been playing inside her head all day. And now your voice was in her head, even better than she had imagined. She wanted to keep you talking.
"You don't have to do that," you told her. "Who's your trainer?" You crossed your arms over your chest and leaned your shoulder against the wall, getting into a more casual position. She enjoyed seeing you act casual, knowing you didn't need to be wary of her. Relaxed, trusting, everything she needs you to be.
"Agent Romanoff," she answered, your smile widening. She mirrored your smile, wondering what kind of inside joke you were thinking about and if she was ever going to be in on it.
"Good luck," you told her. "Nat's a bit of a hardass. And you could tell her I said that." You laughed as you pushed yourself away from the wall, holding your hand out to her. "It was nice to meet you, Maria."
The way your mouth formed around her name had her heart beating hard against her chest. She immediately got nervous, thinking you could hear her heart pick up speed, that it was that loud. And when she accepted your hand, your touch was warm and surprisingly soft. She didn't want to let go, the most amazing thing she ever felt was you. But she felt herself getting greedy, already wanting to touch more of you. Wanting to break the barrier between you and her - your clothes. When your firm grip loosened, she had to let go. She didn't want to scare you away.
"It was nice to meet you, too, Agent-"
You laughed, waving off her sentence. "Please, don't start the formalities with me. Just Y/N is fine."
"Y/N." It was the first time she said it out loud since she learned it this morning, and she loved the way it sounded coming off of her mouth. She felt herself melt as you sent her one last smile, your eyes twinkling with the stars of the night, before walking around her, bringing out your phone once more as you ventured away from her.
She watched you walk away until you disappeared around another corner.
"Watch it." You looked up, startled, as you stopped in your tracks. Natasha laughed at your expression, uncrossing her arms from over her chest as you tuck your phone away.
"You know, I was just telling a new agent about you," you said as she wrapped her arms around your neck, her hands hanging limply behind you. She hummed thoughtfully, a grin forming on your face. "Yeah, I told her that you're a huge pushover and that you should never, ever be taken seriously."
An eyebrow quirked up, a look of a challenge resting on her face. Here we go. Every other year, when the new recruits come in, always shadowing you, Natasha, and Clint, the wager is always the same. By the end of the training, you'll have each of your agents pitted against each other in a sparring match, the loser has to pay for the fanciest, most expensive dinner on the market. The rules remained the same, you can do whatever you want to the trainees, but you can't let them find out about the bet. There isn't allowed to be any influence in the finals. You've been on a losing streak, but this time you weren't going to lose. You have faith in your recruits this year.
Natasha pulled you against her, her arms still resting on your shoulders as your nose brushed against hers. "Let's spice it up this year," she offered and you pulled your face away from hers so you could look into her eyes. This time, your eyebrow raised.
"Last time you said that I ended up having to clean our bathroom for a month."
"And you did such a good job," she whispered, leaning forward to brush her lips against yours. You couldn't help but laugh, bubbles rising in your chest at her closeness. Her smile grew wider as you placed your hands on her hips, pulling her flush against you. She knows what she's doing to you.
"What is it this time? A month of laundry? Am I going to have to be your personal chef?"
"Oh, so you're welcoming a loss?" Natasha laughed when you wrapped your arms around her waist, squeezing her against you. Your cheeks burned hot under her stare, your heart beating for her touch, and the only thing you could think of was how soft her lips looked. This woman.
You couldn't help but lick your lips after sneaking a glance at hers. That motion didn't go unnoticed, Natasha raising her eyebrows in a challenging manner and a smirk resting on the lips you just needed to touch. She wants you to kiss her as much as you do, but that would mean letting her win. You didn't want to lose. "No, I didn't-"
"It seems like you are," she interrupted, smiling widely when you rolled your eyes. "It's okay, Y/N. I know I always win every time."
She was right about that. When it came down to it, it was always between you and Clint for second place. You don't know how she always manages to win, but you didn't care as long as you didn't come in third. If she was going to add another little challenge between the two of you, though, then you have to come in first this time. Or at least get her to be third place.
"I was thinking," she continued, "that we take a little vacation this year."
A vacation? The two of you hadn't taken a vacation in forever, even separately. You’ve been dating her for almost four years (friends for longer) and you haven't even vacationed together. And, boy, did you two need one. All that vacation time you have gathered has just been sitting there, growing, while you ignored it. Maybe it'll do some good to take a breather from everything.
You couldn't help but laugh. "You think that you're going to survive a vacation? You?" You knew Natasha was a sucker for the action. She wouldn't be able to sit still during a vacation, let alone be able to stay away from work.
She left you cold when she pushed away from you, a small, subtle smile resting on her lips. "I can definitely last longer than you, Y/N."
You weren't even going to argue with her on that one. As much as Natasha loves the work, you love it even more and there's no denying that. "What's the bet, Nat?" She laughed again as you pulled her back to you, her fingers resting delicately along either side of your jaw. You leaned into her touch, resting your forehead against hers as your eyes fluttered close at the feeling of her pressed against you, waiting for her to speak.
"Winner gets to choose the location," she said.
You pulled away from her to look her in the eye once more, skeptical. You could see that glint she's got going on. She already planned this out. You wouldn't be surprised if you looked at her phone to see a whole itinerary for the trip. What game is she playing right now?
"You already chose one, didn't you?" You laughed when she shrugged innocently, maintaining eye contact. "You're so cocky, you know that?"
She nodded as she dipped her head, her lips locking onto yours, but the kiss didn't last long before you heard someone clear their throat.
"Enough PDA." You broke away from Natasha to see Clint, taking a step back with your hands raised in surrender.
"I'm sorry, officer, but she made me do it," you announced. "I'm a victim here."
"And I'll do it again!" Natasha grabbed your shirt and pulled you into her, connecting your lips once more, the kiss deeper, more passionate than the last. Your cheeks ignited, hot red coloring them as you felt her push against you, desperate to get you as close to her as possible. You definitely would've dropped to your knees if she weren't holding onto your collar. It was interrupted when you started laughing, looking over at Clint to see him roll his eyes. A small part of you wanted to take Natasha out of the public eye, behind a closed door, but the bigger part told you that you had some agents to meet and you didn't want to be late. Responsibilities. You stepped away from Natasha once more but held onto her hand. You wanted to keep that physical contact for as long as you could.
"So, I showed the recruits their rooms and left them to their own devices," Clint said, crossing his arms over his chest. The one advantage Clint has in this competition is the fact that he meets them before you and Natasha. And you're pretty sure he changes the assignments, making sure he gets the best ones. But, if he does, then he doesn't do a very good job at it considering Natasha always takes the crown at the end of everything. "Hey, Y/N, if you manage to keep both of your recruits this year, I'll give you five dollars."
"You're going to eat your words, Barton," you commented. You've lost at least one of your trainees the past few years, but you've been managing with just one perfectly fine…
"You've lost last time," Clint pointed out. "And the time before that. And the time before that." …alright, maybe not. Can he read your mind right now?
"I'm trying something with morale this time," you stated. Maybe you're too harsh on the recruits. You can't see it, though, considering you've seen Natasha train and she's a bit more aggressive than you. "I'm taking my recruits out to lunch."
"Is that why you put down my offer for-"
"No, it's why I postponed it to tonight," you interrupted quickly, looking at Clint with wide eyes. Hopefully, he doesn't put two and two together. "I have a date with not one, but two people."
She rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face told you she was only joking as she said, "I'll remember this tonight."
"What's tonight?" Oh, Clint Barton, you innocent man. So clueless. His fear of missing out on things was going to be his downfall. Yet, you couldn't blame him. A lot of fun things happen around here.
You and Natasha smiled widely at him.
"I want in," he stated, looking between the two of you. The smiles on both of your faces weren't helping his case. "Come on, guys. I've been preparing for this stupid training thing for weeks. I haven't been out in so long."
"I'd love to stay and chat, but I have some recruits to meet," you expressed, slapping Clint's shoulder as you released Natasha's hand. You looked at her. "I'll leave this to you."
You walked away with a grin, letting Natasha fill Clint's mind with the things you were going to do to each other tonight. Though, you know she's not going to get too far into it before he realizes.
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When she walked out of the training room, she bumped into you once again. She was caught in a daze when you laughed, grabbing onto her shoulders instinctively to make sure she didn't fall over. When you released her, she yearned for more of your touch, but the smile on your face sedated her, calmed her. It prevented her from doing anything too rash as you were only standing less than a foot in front of her. So close, she could feel the heat radiating off of your body. Her instinct was to get closer, to push her body flush against yours, but she refrained from doing that. Instead, she blurted out a simple apology. She doesn't even know how she managed to get her mouth to form coherent words, but she did.
"It's fine, Maria," you assured her, a smile still plastered on your face. She doesn't think she ever wants to see anything but the smile, to see how happy you were was the best thing for her. "We should stop meeting like this, though." Bumping into you is the best way to meet. It gives her a good excuse for physical contact, even briefly.
"At least you didn't have your phone out this time," she commented and you laughed once more. Oh, the things your laugh did to her body. She needed to find a way to record it so she could play it on loop. For now, she's just gonna have to go by memory. "How was your training?"
"Oh." You didn't expect her, a recruit, to question the other trainees' session. It was the last thing on a recruit's mind, wondering how the others were doing when they're too busy trying not to mess up themselves. "It was fine. How was Romanoff?"
Maria blew a raspberry, your smile growing. "You weren't wrong about her being a hardass," she said. "Thanks for the warning."
"Hey, I'm just trying to keep people around," you said, casually shrugging. "I figured it's better to expect what you're stepping into. Nat was the one to train me when I first started, too, so at least I know you're in good hands."
She opened her mouth to say something, but cut herself off when she heard the training room door open behind her. She stepped to the side, opening up the rest of the doorway so whoever wanted out could leave. Maria watched as your face lit up, your eyes sparkled and the smile on your face grew even wider. She wanted you to look at her like that, like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. And she felt her stomach twist with jealous rage when Natasha stepped out of the room and brought you into a hug. When the hug ended and she peeled herself away from you, though your hand remained on her waist as she looked at Maria.
"Hey, that was great work today, Hopkins," Natasha commented. Maria plastered a smile on her face, but it wasn't as genuine as it was thirty seconds ago. "You're pretty advanced. I might have to start training you separately."
Maria felt her chest puff out at the compliment, eyeing you to see your expression, but you were no longer concerned about Maria. Your attention was all focused on Natasha, your eyes not once leaving her face. As if you were scared that you'd go blind at any moment, memorizing every single inch of skin on the redhead's face, savoring it. Maria lost her confidence, simmering down into nothing as Natasha looked at you. "Thank you, Agent Romanoff," Maria said, earning her attention, but not yours. She cleared her throat as she added, "It was nice speaking to you again, Y/N."
The sound of your name finally pulled your attention away from Natasha, your eyes finding Maria's within mere seconds. "As you." That's it? Just two simple little words? She found herself hating Natasha even more when you looked back at her, no longer giving a care about Maria anymore.
She watched, her fists clenched tightly by her sides, as you walked away, catching Natasha's hand into yours and keeping her close as you left Maria behind. She felt her jaw lock, her teeth grinding together tightly at the anger she was feeling as she watched you plant a quick kiss on Natasha's cheek, your amazing laugh mixed in with her harsh one.
She would have never thought that you and Natasha Romanoff were a thing. This would make it harder to obtain you, but not impossible.
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"You know, I don't understand if I'm being honest with you." Maria was immediately attracted to your voice, following it around the corner to see you sitting on the couch in the common room, Natasha's head rested in your lap as you absentmindedly stroked a hand through her short, red hair. Maria lingered around the corner, listening, watching in the shadows. "Fisher, one of my recruits, dropped out. It's only day three, Nat. Now I'm not going to get five dollars."
Natasha rolled over to lay on her back, looking up at you, her hand delicately tracing over your jaw to make you look down at her. The frustration on your face quickly evaporated when you made eye contact with the redhead, easing your tense shoulders just by her breathing in your direction and Maria aspired to have that effect on you someday. "Not a lot of people can handle this life, Y/N," Natasha said, her voice soft. Your hand got lost in her hair, the curls tangled around your fingers as you melted into Natasha's eyes. "They think they can handle it, but in the end, they realize they can't."
"Easy for you to say. You've never lost a recruit."
Natasha's lips quirked up into a smile as she said, "You would've been my first loss if you had gone through with it."
You remember that day, the day that seems like forever ago. During a shooting drill, you kept accidentally shooting the wooden boards that were supposed to be the victims, ultimately failing the drill on more than one occasion. Natasha must've felt the moment you decided to give up because she went to your room that night, ordering your roommate to leave so she could talk to you alone. She ignored your packed bag and sat on your bed, giving you a secret pep talk amidst a casual conversation. That was the day you realized you had feelings for your trainer, but you were too much of a coward to act on them until years later.
"Did you know that that was the moment I knew I loved you?" You smiled, your free hand placing itself against her chest, her heartbeat hammering against your palm as you leaned down closer to her face.
"What took you so long?" she whispered, your laugh fanning your breath over her face. "I knew the moment I laid eyes on you."
"You're such a liar," you declared before your lips pushed gently into hers.
Maria has seen enough, stepping out into the light and making her presence known by clearing her throat rather harshly as she approached you. Your back straightened when you saw Maria, Natasha turning her head to watch the new agent pause a few feet in front of the couch you were sitting on, her hands folding behind her back out of respect. "Agent Romanoff, I was wondering if I could take you up on the private training," she stated. "I've come to realize that the limited training I receive alongside Agent Griggs is not reaching my full potential." To her, she sounded robotic. She couldn't find it in herself to put any emotion into her words when all she was feeling was anger. Angry that you don't realize you love her yet, but you will.
She couldn't help but watch the smile grow on your face as Natasha sat up, your hand becoming free of the red tangles. She eyed Natasha's curls, not being able to imagine your hand running through her black ones. She'll have to change that.
"It looks like your cockiness is rubbing off already," you commented, leaning back into the couch with a laugh when Natasha playfully smacked your shoulder with the back of her hand. Despite the anger she was experiencing, Maria mirrored your smile, she couldn't help it. The happiness that radiated off of you affected her. "Hey, Maria, if you need any real advice from a professional, come see me."
"I might just take you up on that offer, too, Y/N." She could say your name all day, looking for any excuse to say it out loud in front of Natasha, hoping to make her as jealous as she feels, but when she glanced towards the Black Widow, her expression was only reacting to your words and not hers. "I will take all the training I can get." And all the alone time she could with you.
"Don't go stealing my recruits because you can't keep a leash on yours." Natasha laughed as your eyes widened, looking towards her as she immediately cupped your face. Maria watched with envy as she planted a kiss on your cheek, apologetic.
"Go away," you stated with a smile, waving Natasha off of you. She was still laughing as she stood up, smiling widely as she gestured for Maria to follow her when she started walking. But Maria stared at you for a moment, frozen in your beauty once again as you looked at her, an eyebrow raised in confusion at her hesitance in following Natasha. You released a breath as you said, "You'll be fine, Maria. Once you get past that hard shell, Nat is secretly a big softie."
Maria blinked, falling out of the trap that was you when you said Natasha's name. She only wanted her name coming off of your lips, nobody else's. "Of course," was the only thing she could say before nodding politely and walking away, joining a waiting Natasha to start the private training.
Maria couldn't help but wonder what Natasha had that she didn't. They were practically the same height at a glance, Natasha being just an inch taller than her, and Maria knows that she could treat you better. She would give you every single second of her attention, her hands wouldn't dare touch anybody else, even if it was just as simple as a handshake. She would be strictly yours to love, nobody would even think about it being any other way. But the obstacle that is one Natasha Romanoff was going to have to move, just an inch, just enough for Maria to slide right on through. You weren't going to look at her if Natasha was in the way.
"Excuse me, Agent-" You looked towards the voice with a raised eyebrow, seeing your last recruit, John Nolan, walking up to you slowly. His words caught in his throat as he cleared them away, shaking his head. "Apologies. Y/N," he corrected.
You stood up off the couch. "What can I do for you, John?" He seemed nervous, his hands crossed behind his back in a tight, respectable stance and he avoided eye contact. You were pretty sure you saw droplets of sweat drip down his temple as he cleared his throat once more, sucking in a deep breath and finally maintaining eye contact for more than five seconds.
"Agent Barton offered Fisher a better position in another state," he told you, looking away when he saw your eyes narrow. "That's why he left. I… thought you should know."
The last piece of the puzzle finally clicked into place, the gears in your head spinning at an impossible speed as you put two and two together. It wasn't your fault you couldn't keep a recruit under your belt. It was Clint! He doesn't have the authority to give them a better job than a level six agent. Offering them something that seems better on paper, but in reality, could quite possibly the worst job SHIELD has to offer. Why, that little-
"Y/N?"
"Did he offer you something?"
He shook his head, seeming to be a little bit more relaxed when he heard that your voice came out evenly calm, not a trace of anger in your words. "No, ma'am. I overheard him and Fisher. I don't think I was supposed to-"
"It's a good thing you did," you interrupted. "Clint probably made it sound better than it is, so you're not missing out on anything exciting." He relaxed a lot more on that, letting you know that he was jealous he wasn't the one to get the offer.
"What are you going to do?" His proper posture evaporated, his hands resting on his hips once he saw that you weren't mad at the messenger. "You're not going to tell him I told you, right?"
"Of course not," you assured. Though you really wanted to call Clint out on it, hunting him down so you could get him an instant loss and you would only have to worry about Natasha, there's a much bigger part of you that wants revenge. "Thanks for the heads up, John. You don't have to worry about Clint, I can handle him. If he goes to you with a similar offer, let me know."
John nodded and left. You knew Clint wasn't going to offer John the same job, he wasn't going to take both of your recruits. He wanted some competition, but not the tough one. You should take this as a compliment, he sees you as just enough of a threat to shoot one of your legs. But now you gotta return the favor and figure out something to do to him.
You wandered out of the common room, lost in your thoughts. You couldn't tell the recruits about the bet, that was the only rule in this thing. You had to figure out a different route, something that doesn't lead to you when it's over with.
You heard your name being called, turning around to see Clint jogging to catch up to you, a wide smile on his face. Your jaw clenched, eyes narrowed, but you plastered a smile mirroring that of his own. You had to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from calling him out on his little evil antic.
"I heard you lost another one," he said. You wanted to smack that shit-eating grin off his face. "He didn't last as long as the others. Such a shame. At least I get to keep my five dollars."
"You know what? It's not even worth five dollars," you said. "You're going to be spending a lot more than that when I beat you in this thing."
He snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "With just one recruit? I'd love to see that."
"Well, consider yourself with front row seats, Barton, because you're going down." Your arms crossed over your chest tightly. "I'm thinking the big steak. That thing costs an arm and a leg."
He patted you on the shoulder, smiling even wider. "Good luck, Y/N." He gave you a small, mock salute before walking away, his shoulders shaking with laughter. You groaned in frustration.
It was impossible to win with just one recruit. He has to fight four people to get the points you need to come in second, at least.
You had plenty of time to figure out a way to get revenge. Training is three months long, and it's only the third day. You knew John was going to be safe, so you weren't worried about it. But Fisher was a stronger agent than John and that's going to take you down a peg. Ugh, Clint, you cheating bastard.
You wonder why he doesn't go after Natasha's recruits. She's a much bigger threat than you are. Both competitively and physically. As long as he didn't come in third, it makes sense why he only sabotaged you. If he went after Natasha and she found out, Hell would be his safe space when she's through with him.
You found yourself outside the training room almost an hour later, walking in to catch Natasha taking Maria down with ease. A smile landed on your lips and everything about Clint left your mind as you watched the two spar, your posture relaxing. Maria caught a glimpse of you in that moment, her measly struggles to get out from underneath Natasha grew stronger in the desire to impress you. Natasha was saying something under her breath to her, giving her tips and advice to get out of a situation like that. Her grip loosened on Maria, giving her an easier chance to break free, and you saw the way Natasha's muscles relaxed. She was going easier on her and Maria didn't like that.
She flipped Natasha off of her, tossing her to the side in one swift movement. She sucked in a deep breath, relieved that all she wasn't breathing was Natasha anymore. You appeared above her, offering your hand to help her to her feet, which she immediately took.
"Your little private session is going well, I see," you stated, patting Maria on the back as she released your hand. She immediately relaxed under your touch, the tenseness in her muscles from having to protect herself against Natasha evaporated. She was at ease.
"I don't see her training lasting three months," Natasha said as she joined you, her hands on her hips as you crossed your arms over your chest. "She might graduate sooner if she keeps this up."
"I'm a fast learner," Maria said, shrugging casually.
Natasha smiled as she looked at you, her eyes soft, her smile genuine, her body relaxed, the same way Maria looked at you. Except you didn't notice it when Maria did it, only Natasha. And that's what made her mad.
"How about I take her for a spin?" The way your eyebrow quirked upwards would have made Maria fall to her knees and beg Natasha to say yes, but the thought of getting tangled with you on the mat made her stressed. She wanted to prove herself, show you that she can handle anything and make you proud, but she didn't want to hurt you. She didn't want to make you feel less superior. She would beg Natasha to say no.
"I don't think-"
"Ah, c'mon, Nat," you stated, playfully shadow boxing her. "I could do with some stress relief." You stepped closer to her, Maria crossing her arms across her chest as she watched the two of you closely, jealousy spreading through her as you lowered your voice to a whisper, seeing Natasha's skin prickle with goosebumps as your breath fanned over her neck. "Between you and me, John's not a very good sparring partner."
When your hand rested around her waist and pulled her closer to you, Maria had to look away, her eyes cast downward to the floor as Natasha planted a kiss on your lips. "Fine," she expressed. "For training purposes."
"Let's go, Hopkins." You clapped your hands as Natasha stepped back, giving the two of you some space.
She preferred hearing her first name come out of your mouth, but Hopkins had the same effect on her.
You squatted down to a defensive stance, the smirk playing on your lips left Maria in a daze. She blinked a few times before she managed to pull herself out of it, getting down in her own stance as she faced off against you. She didn't know if she could handle it, touching you would be too much for her, but the playful sparkle in your eye made her want to have this kind of fun with you. She knew she had to get used to this kind of playfulness. Your ability to laugh at the smallest of things is one of the many, many reasons why she loves you.
When you stepped towards her, she found herself stepping back. Was she really that scared of hurting you? This wasn't a life or death situation, she wouldn't hurt you on purpose. But it was the idea of it being an accident that distraught her. Her capability of hurting you was there and that scared her.
She tried desperately to block you, swatting your light punches away. You were going easy on her, she could tell. She hasn't seen you fight before, but Clint had said that you were one of the best and this was not something someone would do if they were among the top of the totem pole.
"Come on, Y/N," Maria declared after blocking yet another miserable attempt to kick her, drawing your foot back to the ground to maintain balance. Even though you weren't pushing her limits, she still had sweat dripping down her temple. She instinctively wiped it away. "I thought you were the best."
"I wouldn't say the best," Natasha countered. Maria had to fight herself from rolling her eyes. She had forgotten Natasha's presence, her input forcing her to remember that it wasn't just the two of you. "Maybe top, like… five? And that's being generous."
Your posture relaxed, getting out of the fighting stance you held for the past five minutes to look at Natasha, your hands resting on your hips as a smile brightened your face. You looked back at Maria. "Alright, I'll take it up a notch."
"A notch?" Maria wanted to see exactly what you were capable of. "How do you expect me to learn anything? I don't suppose the enemies in the field would take it easy on me."
You sighed, grinning. "Fair enough," you said, holding your hands out in surrender. "Just remember that you consented to this."
Maria nodded encouragingly, knowing that she'd consent to anything that has to do with you. The two of you fell back into a crouched stance, a bit closer than you were originally. And, boy, was Clint telling the truth! She barely had time to react to your punches, your kicks being strategically thrown in there to throw her off guard and it worked. When you made contact with your punches, they didn't hurt. They were light and fast, expertly so.
When Maria finally did manage to get a punch in, you easily and embarrassingly caught her wrist, tugging her close to you. She was flush against your chest, her back against you as you held her in a chokehold, and she completely lost her thoughts at the feeling of being pressed against you. She stopped fighting back, letting your warmth spread through her, but it only lasted a second before the two of you were on the ground. She was left breathless when she finally got herself to focus, seeing your face inches away from her own, both of you breathing heavily at the extended workout as you sent her a cheeky grin. You had her pinned in a much more difficult position than Natasha had her earlier, her arms trapped underneath your body as your hand squeezed her two wrists together, your other arm tight against her neck. That's why she's breathless.
You released her a few seconds later, hopping back to your feet and Maria had to take a moment to collect herself. You were so close to her. If she had just tilted her chin up a centimeter, your lips would've brushed against hers, but she was too dazed to comprehend that little tidbit of information.
She blinked and your hand was hovering above her, a temporary moment of Deja vu as you pulled her to her feet. You patted her on her shoulder as you released her, Natasha joining the two of you as she waved the imaginary white flag in surrender.
"I don't know about that early graduation, sweetheart," you said, looking at Maria but talking to Natasha. You crossed your arms over your chest. "She still needs some work."
She knew you were only joking, but she couldn't help but feel disappointed in herself for not being able to impress you. She deflated, her shoulders slouching as she scratched the back of her head, no longer paying attention to your conversation once Natasha decided to put her two senses in there. She was trying to hold on to that feeling of having more than just your hand on her. The pure serotonin, raw adrenaline. She needed that feeling again. Your entire body was against her and she could still feel you.
Your laughter dragged her out of her thoughts, as it always does. She refocused, the conversation no longer on her skills, or lack of. The two of you were talking about dinner, a date, tonight. You seemed to have forgotten about Maria as you and Natasha faced each other, obviously oblivious to the black haired recruit. She could walk away and neither of you would notice, but she didn't. She listened to the details, wanting to know what exactly was going to happen.
She got angry when Natasha stepped closer to you to whisper something in your ear, envy when you leaned into her touch, her lips brushing against your ear and goosebumps trailing down your neck. That's when she walked away.
Otherwise, she would've punched something. Preferably someone.
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You couldn't help but watch Natasha as she read over the menu. Her eyebrows slightly pinched together in concentration, trying to decide what she wanted to eat. Her tongue flicking out to lick her lips put you in a momentary state of weakness, and she must have sensed that moment because her eyes looked up at you as a smile grew on her face. She picked her head up, resting her chin in her hand as she leaned forward.
The smallest, most non-sensual things send you overboard and she knows it. She preys on that, sending your thoughts into overdrive as you fought against your pure animal instincts to take her right then and there. She eats that up, and that just pushes you over the edge.
"Why do you do this to me?"
Her chuckle made you straighten your posture, tightly locking your body in your chair otherwise you would've given in to those instincts. She casually shrugged as she went back to her menu, the smile on her face not once wavering. "I want to know what your breaking point is."
Your breaking point wouldn't exist if you didn't have any dignity. She knows that, too. "You're getting there," you assured her, listening to the music that is her laughter. "Trust me."
She placed her menu flat on the table, crossing her hands across it as she met your eye. "Then I will keep doing it."
"And when you win?" You raised an eyebrow, a smile playing on your lips. "If I give in to these dark desires?"
She leaned forward an inch, subtle. You wouldn't have caught it if her elbow didn't bump against her glass of water. "What kind of dark desires?"
You sent her a wink, holding your index finger softly to your lips as the waiter came by for your order. Her eyes flickered, showing that hint of darkness you loved for a brief moment, letting you see just how vulnerable you made her as well.
You had to look away from her otherwise you were going to get yourself in trouble. You watched the waiter walk away with your orders, disappear around a corner and that's when you saw them. Your smile was associated with humor now, looking back at Natasha to nod in their direction.
"Looks like we're not HR's only nightmare anymore," you said, looking back towards Maria and John sitting on the other side of the room. Natasha followed your stare, a smirk resting on her lips.
"I'm actually surprised," she confessed, making you look back at her. Your expression was the only thing she needed to make herself explain, "I thought she was crushing on you."
"You thought Maria was crushing on me?" You couldn't help but laugh at the thought, taking a sip of your drink. "And what makes you possibly think that?"
She rolled her eyes. You could see the strain in her eyes as she thought about it, though the smirk that remained on her lips would fool anybody into thinking she was truly nonchalant about it. "It is painfully obvious, Y/N," she stated. "Do you really not see it?"
You shook your head, pursing your lips together as you counted back all the times you interacted with Maria and nothing jumped out at you. "No," you admitted, "because I'm only thinking about you."
You laughed when she rolled her eyes again, the sound of your laughter immediately pulling Maria's attention over to you.
"So… have you seen any good movies lately?" John cleared his throat, nervous, as he watched Maria watch you. "I've seen a good one. It's…" His sentence died in the air when he saw that she was too focused on you, not giving him the time of day. He cleared his throat again as he brought his glass to his lip, taking a harsh swallow before returning it to the table. "Maria, I-"
"Don't call me that." Her head snapped in his direction. She didn't want anybody to call her by her own name, Hopkins was fine. Maria belonged to you.
"It's your name," he countered defensively. "Why did you ask me out if you're not going to put all your attention into this date?"
She scoffed, furrowing her eyebrows. "This isn't a date, Nolan." Of course, this wasn't a date. She had only invited John to not look like a sad, lonely person in the middle of a restaurant made for couples. She didn't give him the wrong idea. We should get some food. That's all she said. It was a suggestion and he didn't know what he was getting himself into.
"This is a pretty fancy restaurant for just getting some food," he stated. "I mean, I'm not even appropriately dressed." She eyed him, noticing him for the first time and he was right. He wasn't dressed nicely, his training shirt and sweats didn't necessarily pass the fancy test, but nobody bothered looking at him. The restaurant wasn't maximum fancy, nobody cared. "I just assumed we were getting Chinese or something. Maybe some hamburgers."
"Well, you assumed wrong." The waiter came over then, taking John's order. Maria made the mistake of looking back at you, not bothering with the waiter anymore and not caring when John ordered something for her. "Don't mistake this for anything," she declared once the waiter left, her eyes remaining on you. "We're not friends." Even acquaintance was a strong word. She didn't even think about John, he was just there. He was the first person she saw that she knew would go get some food under false pretenses.
He glanced in your direction, catching you feeding Natasha some of your food and laughing at her expression. "I'm pretty sure they have a bet going on."
His words caught her attention, her head slowly turning to look back at him. He made eye contact with her and cleared his throat. "What kind of bet?"
"The three of them," he explained. "Barton, Romanoff, and-"
"Y/N." You didn't like formalities.
John nodded. "Right." He sighed, clearing his throat. It was like he had something caught in it, desperate to try and get it out. "I don't know what it entails. I just know that it has something to do with us."
"How do you know this?"
"I overheard Barton and Romanoff talking about it," he answered, shrugging as he took another gulp of his drink.
Maria grinned widely, the first smile that landed on her face ever since she arrived at the restaurant. John raised an eyebrow, confused. "This is why we're friends, Nolan."
He shook his head when she turned back to you. "You know, it's never going to happen." He chuckled at the thought of Maria attempting to snatch you away from Natasha. "I heard they've been together for a long time without a hitch." He snorted, a smile growing on his lips. "You're never going to-"
"Shut up," she snapped when she heard your laughter once more, not wanting John's annoying voice to interrupt that beautiful sound. He sighed as he sat back into his chair. She wasn't even listening to his words, but on some level, she heard him and knew he was right. But all good things must come to an end. And, in this case, your "good" thing will come to an end to an even better thing.
"You look utterly ridiculous." Natasha laughed as you tuck your napkin into your shirt, letting it sit against your chest like a bib.
"This is a new shirt, Nat," you stated, "I'm not going to ruin it by getting food on it." You shook your head.
"You dropped one thing and it landed in your lap," she retorted, a hint of laughter still in her voice.
"I'm not taking any chances." You shook your head, looking at her. "This is a common thing in a place like this. It's not absurd."
"It's supposed to go in your lap, Y/N," she explained.
"Then how am I supposed to protect my shirt?" You scoffed, picking up your utensils. "I don't care about my pants."
Natasha laughed once more. "You know what?" You joined in on her laughter when she took her napkin, tucking it into her shirt as well. "I'm not going to let you look like an idiot by yourself."
"Well, thank you for joining me on this adventure, ma'am," you said, nodding your head in thanks.
She rolled her eyes as she continued picking at her food. "I look just as ridiculous as you."
"Impossible!" you expressed, slamming a fist on the table. She jumped as the table wobbled underneath your fist, dishes chiming at the impact, her eyes widening as she looked up at you and only you, not giving a care about the other patrons and their silent judgment being sent your way, and she smiled. "You look absolutely gorgeous and that will never change! Let the entire world know!"
Red colored her cheeks, looking down and away from you. She tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. You couldn't help but laugh seeing her flustered, calming down long enough for the other customers to return to their meals in peace.
"So, the bet between us…" You trailed off, watching as she picked her head back up to look at you, intrigued. "Are you going to tell me what you picked?"
She smiled. "Why would I want to ruin the surprise?"
"Well, I definitely don't want to pick the same spot you picked," you answered. "You probably picked the worst spot to vacation."
Her eyebrows went up as she crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back into her chair.
"I didn't mean that you have bad taste in vacation spots," you stated, stammering. "It's just… You… I…" You sighed, grinning. "I trust you to choose a relaxing spot, Nat, but if you even so much as think about work-"
"Y/N, I'm looking forward to this," she told you, leaning forward. She placed her hand halfway across the table, to which you met. She held onto you, her thumb rubbing the top of your hand in smooth, gentle circles. "Even if you do win, I will love it."
"I'm looking forward to this, too," you said softly, matching her grin as you squeezed her hand reassuringly. "But, do tell, what do you have planned? You have every single day planned out, don't you? Show me the itinerary."
She chuckled as she took her hand away from yours, bringing it back to her plate. "I never said I had a plan." That's fair, she didn't.
"For some reason, I really don't believe you."
Maria continued to watch from her seat, seething in pure jealous anger as she can see how undeniably cute the two of you were together. Yet, she knows that you and she would be even cuter. She was excited to be the shoulder you would cry on when your relationship doesn't work out. Not that you'd seek her out, but she'd find you.
She'll always find you.
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48 days into training
The gunshots echoed in your head, bullet after bullet launched forward and you watched as they drove through the wooden boards painted soppily to look like people. John continued to shoot until his gun clicked, and you patted him on the back as he placed the weapon down.
"Great work, John," you complimented as he looked at you with a proud grin, "but next time, we'd like to avoid the civilians." His grin faded as his head snapped forward, looking out into the cluster of boards to see that he actually did shoot a civilian. "Try again."
As he reloaded his gun, you heard someone call your name from behind you. You instinctively turned your head, watching as the black haired recruit made her way to you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as a small smile lifted your lips. John started shooting behind you as she finally reached you, placing her hands on her hips as she stared at you.
"I was wondering if I could join you," she said, nodding towards John. "Agent Romanoff cancelled all the sessions today."
Now your face was just confused. It's not like Natasha to cancel any sessions, she was always persistent when training. Never late, always early. And she didn't tell you she was cancelling today. You wonder what she was up to. "Why?"
Maria shrugged and you sighed at her cluelessness. "All the message said was to take the day off."
You pursed your lips together, thinking for a moment. Not about whether or not Maria could join your session, but about why Natasha cancelled hers. "Of course," you declared, gesturing towards John. "You can take the next turn. I'm assuming you already know how to-"
"Do this course? Yes." She nodded and walked past you, waiting patiently behind John.
You watched the recruits for a moment before anxiety bit you like a bitch, turning your back to them and pulling out your phone. You called Natasha, huffing out when it went to voicemail. You tried once more only to get the same result. You were so focused that you didn’t even hear your name being called until you felt a hand on your lower back, your heart skipping a beat as you gasped at the sudden touch. You turned your head, seeing Maria behind you as she returned her hand to her side.
“Sorry,” she said, grinning a little. You rubbed your forehead, sighing. “John’s out there changing out the boards. I was just checking to see if you’re okay.” Your eyes wandered behind her in time to see John struggle to change one of the boards, not being able to get it out of its stand. You considered helping him, but then decided that it was a learning experience.
“I’m fine,” you assured, looking back at her. “Why don’t you go help John with the boards?”
She sighed, placing her hands on her hips. “I thought the two of you have been together for a while,” she pointed out. “All I’m saying is that I wouldn’t lie to my girlfriend of four years.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, tilting your head. “It wasn’t a suggestion, Agent,” you demanded. “Go help Agent Nolan with the boards.”
Maria held her hands up in surrender, a small smirk lifting her lips as she stepped back. As fun as it was to hear her name come off your lips, she loved it even more when you took charge like that. The authority in your face sent her off the edge, her body warm and her mind fuzzy as she made her way to John, the small smirk on her face transformed to a wide smile.
Your eyes snapped to your phone when you felt it vibrate in your hands, your stomach dropping when you read the text. Maria turned to look at you, but you were gone.
Your heart hammered in your chest as you sprinted through the halls of the hospital, your mind thinking the worst despite her simple, ominous In the hospital, don’t freak out text. Your feet slammed hard against the floor as you ran, rounding the corner and nearly running into a nurse pushing a cart. You mumbled a sloppy apology as you continued forward, skidding to a stop when you reached the appropriate room number.
Natasha was lying on the bed, her head hidden in a pillow as you pushed against the door. She looked towards the sound of the door opening, picking her head up when she saw you. The door slowly closed behind you as you entered the room, immediately taking her hand when she reached for you.
There was a small skidmark on her cheek, something that’ll heal in no time, and that’s the only injury you could see right now. The look of relief on your face washed away into anger, causing her to roll her eyes and let her head fall back into the pillows.
“Don’t start, Y/N,” she said, a smile tugging the corner of her lips.
“You know how I feel about you riding that motorcycle,” you told her, starting anyway. “Especially since you seem to not like wearing helmets.”
“I’m fine,” she promised, looking back at you. She squeezed her hand, bringing it to her lips to plant a soft kiss against the top of it. You released a heavy sigh, eyebrows still furrowed in anger. “The brakes just stopped working.”
“You could’ve died, Nat,” you said.
“But I didn’t,” she told you, holding your hand against her chest. Your fingers were just close enough to her heart that you could feel it beat against the tips, the feeling sending waves of calmness through you. “It’s just a few scrapes and bruises. I’m alive.”
You released a deep breath, your shoulders relaxing at her words. The door opened behind you, but you didn’t turn to see who entered the room, already too far gone in Natasha’s eyes. It wasn’t until they cleared their throat and spoke that your view of her eyes were broken as she looked towards the interrupter.
“Ms. Natasha Romanoff,” the doctor said, flipping through a chart. You turned to look at him, squeezing her hand absentmindedly. He whistled. “You’re one lucky duckling, aren’t you? I’ve seen the motorcycle and it’s not-” He looked up to meet Natasha’s stare, seeing her shake her head urgently, but it was already too late.
Your eyes narrowed as you looked back at Natasha, raising an eyebrow and tilting your head.
The doctor cleared his throat. “I’ll come back in a minute,” he stated before rushing out of the room.
Natasha sighed as the door closed shut, leaving the two of you alone once more. “I didn’t want you to freak out.”
“I was already freaking out,” you countered. “Tell me exactly what happened, Nat.”
Your hand drew back to your side when she released you. “I was taking a drive around the city,” she started. “I approached a red light, but when I tried to brake for it, I felt the brake piston snap. I jumped off the bike when I realized what was happening.” You could picture the rest of it, her jumping off the bike as it continued forward into oncoming traffic. You didn’t need an active imagination to know what happened after that.
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” you confessed, leaning down to gently rest your forehead against hers. “And your text didn’t make me feel any better, by the way. If you had become a vegetable or something, I would’ve killed you.”
She laughed, her hand resting on the back of your neck. She pulled you down, connecting your lips to hers in a soft kiss. You felt yourself melting into her, having to use the bed to keep you somewhat on your feet. When the door opened once more, you forced yourself away from her.
"Now that everything seems to be okay," the doctor stated, clearing his throat. He lingered by the door as it swung close behind him, flipping through the chart once again. "You're fine aside from the fractured rib or two, a few scrapes and bruises, but I'd like to keep you overnight for observation," he said, shrugging casually as he held the clipboard against him. "Especially after seeing the bike's condition."
"That won't be necessary-"
"She'll stay," you declared, interrupting her. You continued to stare at the doctor with a wide smile while she turned her head to look at you, eyebrow raised. "Thank you, doctor." You offered him your hand, which he shook briefly before leaving the room. You looked at Natasha, the smile still wide on your face. "This is your punishment."
She rolled her eyes, sucking in a sharp breath. "I would've preferred a different kind of punishment."
"Oh, I bet you would," you said, laughing. "You're not that lucky." She grinned, trying not to laugh to avoid the pain. "So, why'd you cancel your sessions today?"
She sighed, laying her head back. Her eyes fluttered close as if she were suddenly exhausted, her hand searching for yours in her moment of blindness. You didn't hesitate to grab onto her, feeling her relax under your touch. "I had some errands to run."
You tilted your head, confused. Errands? During training? The least she could've done was told you, you would've loved to go on an errand run with her. To get away from all the recruits and just take a moment between the two of you. No, something else was going on here. "You're a terrible liar," you declared and she laughed, but immediately regretted it as pain shot through her ribs.
"Don't make me laugh, Y/N," she pleaded, her eyes slowly opening to look at you.
"Keep your secrets," you stated, letting go of her hand. You smiled softly at her, genuinely relieved that she was actually okay. You couldn't care where she went or what she was doing, she's safe now. And that's all that mattered to you.
You had cancelled the remaining training sessions with John to stay by Natasha. It was the least you could do after making her stay in the hospital overnight. You didn't want to leave her to suffer alone, but you had eventually drifted off to sleep somewhere around midnight. Natasha watched you for a while, a small smile on her face as you laid in what seemed to be the most uncomfortable position in the hospital brand armchair, before she dozed off as well.
But she was stirred awake when the door clicked shut, a shadowed figure venturing into the room and she almost called out to you before she noticed that, in the sliver of light provided from the parking lot outside, you were still fast asleep on the armchair.
She watched as the new presence placed a blanket over you, causing you to move a little under the added weight before you settled back into your deep slumber. The person bent over, planting a light, soft kiss on your forehead and, in that moment, Natasha saw their face pass one of the rays of light and she was instantly on guard.
"I didn't know you knew your way around a motorcycle." Natasha's voice was firm, powerful, yet quiet as to not wake you.
She tensed at her sentence, slowly straightening her form. Her eyes didn't leave your sleeping body, but she did lean towards Natasha. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Natasha stared at Maria's silhouetted figure, eyebrows slightly pinched together. "I know what you're doing."
Finally, Maria looked away from you and towards the bed, her head moving slightly to reveal her blue eyes in a sliver of light. Natasha made eye contact with her. "What's that?"
She's really playing dumb. She could deny it all she wants, Natasha knows she sabotaged her motorcycle. She couldn't connect the pieces until now, seeing her care for you while you were asleep. She did her own inspection on her motorcycle yesterday, everything was intact. Not a screw out of place. But her brake piston suddenly decided to give in? That's sabotage.
But she didn't understand why Maria would do it. Now she does. Maria's trying to get rid of the competition, which is Natasha. She wasn't going down that easily, though.
"Stay away from Y/N." It was four words, each one filled with a different threat. Normally, Maria would've been obeying Natasha's threat without hesitation, but the things she feels just by thinking about you made her defiant.
Maria said nothing as she slunked away, leaving the hospital room like nothing had happened. Natasha knew she had to be on her guard now.
She just didn't think she'd have to watch your back, too.
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The agent you had been talking to separated from you, bidding a farewell as they walked into a room while you kept walking down the hall, now being able to focus more on your surroundings. And you saw the back of a certain little redhead that should be training right now.
She was talking to one of Clint's recruits, but the conversation seemed as if it was about to end by the way the recruit took a step back. You snuck up to her, the recruit turning on their heels as they said their thanks and parted ways. You were kinda annoyed with how she was supposed to be resting when she was standing right here, not in bed. You don't really understand why she'd lie to you. Lying usually means hiding secrets. Like what exactly she was doing yesterday to end up in that accident.
When you reached her, you placed your hands on her hips, feeling her tense underneath your touch for a slight moment before instantly relaxing. "I thought you were supposed to be in bed," you said softly, your chin resting against her shoulder as your lips brushed her ear. She turned around and your hands were instantly back to your sides.
Your stomach dropped to your feet when you made eye contact with Maria, your eyes studying her new short, curly haircut that she had dyed red, her black hair no more. You took a step back, your face flushed with embarrassment as you looked around, seeing if anybody saw this devastating moment.
"You… You got a haircut," you stammered.
Maria smiled, thinking about how cute you are when you get flustered. "Yeah," she said, nodding as she ran a hand through it. You swallowed your mouthful of saliva, your hands playing with themselves nervously. "I figured it was time for a change. The long black hair just wasn't doing it for me anymore."
You chewed on your lip, still trying to wrap your head around what the hell is happening here. "I'm so sorry," you finally said, realizing that she was waiting for an uncomfortable amount of time for you to reply. "You just… You looked like my girlfriend from behind." You couldn't even remember her name in this moment of humiliation. And you didn't even realize how fast Maria lost her smile when you said girlfriend. As if the word was toxic.
"Hey, I'm not the one apologizing this time." Maria laughed it off as you hid your face in your hands. She was so nonchalant about it while you were mentally scolding yourself. You felt like you cheated on Natasha, the guilt getting to your head a lot harder than it should. You didn't do anything. You didn't kiss her. You just placed your hands on her hips, maybe got a bit too close to her ear. That's it. "Y/N?"
You removed your hands from your face, cleared your throat, and maintained your posture. "I like your haircut," you commented. "Makes your eyes... pop." You sent her a smile, though she knew it didn't reach your eyes. "I have to go. John's waiting for me." You quickly scurried away, rubbing the back of your neck as you groaned.
You decided to hide in your room, too self-conscious to be out in the world right now. Lying in the middle of a dark room, door locked, you felt at peace with yourself. You don't know how long time has passed and you were pretty sure you dozed off because you were startled by the harsh tapping at your door. You ignored it, pulling a pillow over your head and pressing it into your face as the knocking got more persistent. Couldn't they take a hint?
"Y/N, open the door. I know you're in there." The sound of Natasha's voice should've soothed you, made you feel more relaxed, but it only stressed you out more. Does she know? Does she not know? You don't know which one is worse if you're going to be real. Deep down, you knew it wasn't as big of a deal as you're making it, but it felt so wrong.
There was a break in her knocking, silence for a moment. Long enough for you to believe that she had just given up and walked away, leaving you to wallow in your self-pity, but then you heard the door lock turn and the door was pushed open, closing a moment later. The pillow on your face was yanked off of you and you blinked, surprised.
She has a key. Of course, she has a key.
You felt the bed dip down behind you when she added her weight to it, her arm snaking itself around your waist and pulling you close to her. You didn't fight her as she rested her cheek on the top of your head, the arm that was resting around your waist moved up, her hand pressing against your chest, your heart beating steadily against her palm. You know she was ignoring her pain for you.
"Do you even know what time it is?"
"No."
You both were whispering as if you were scared to disturb the darkness engulfing you in comfort. This was nice. You had thought you couldn't face her, but her holding you so tightly in her arms, you felt right. You felt like everything was right in the world as if the whole Maria thing didn't happen.
"You've been in here for the whole day." Her voice was so… calming. It melted your worries away like a hot flame. You belonged here, at this moment, in her arms. Yours to love. "I was worried about you." She released a heavy, relieved sigh, her breath skinning across your cheek. Now that she knew you were safe and not off dying in a ditch somewhere, she could relax. "I haven't heard from you at all today. And when Nolan came to my room to tell me you missed training, I just…" She sighed once again, her mind rewinding that moment John found her, that feeling of fear and terror. She spent the rest of the day searching for you, getting out of bed, fighting against the pain of her fractured ribs so she could find you, so she could hold you, feel your heartbeat under her touch.
John could use a break, anyway. You've been training him as much as possible to win this competition, so he deserves to skip a training session or two.
"I'm fine," you assured her softly, letting out a deep breath. "Just… mortified."
She hummed thoughtfully, encouraging you to say more as she pressed you tighter against her, sucking in a deep breath as she closed her eyes.
"Remember that night at dinner, you said that you thought Maria has a crush on me?" You felt her tense around you, her eyes snapping open. She couldn't stop her mind from wandering, picturing Maria advancing on you, replacing that with the feeling of her knuckles connecting to the bitch's jaw with no remorse. It could happen during training, the "accidental" injury between her and Natasha's fist. Nobody would question it. Only her.
"Yes." It was one syllable, one word, said between clenched teeth, her jaw locked tight in frustration at the thought of Maria touching you.
"I'm starting to think it's you she's crushing on."
That took an unexpected turn. You instantly felt her body relax, her jaw unlocking itself. "Why do you say that?"
"Have you not seen her at all today?"
"Y/N, I've been in bed all day, too." She shook her head with a smile as you turned to lie on your back, Natasha propping her head up with her elbow so she could see your face, her other hand resting on your stomach as you played with her fingers.
"She got a haircut," you said, sighing. "Short. Red."
She furrowed her eyebrows, turning her head so she could watch you play with her hand. "Kinda like-"
"You." You nodded, moving to hide your face behind your hands, but she was quicker and managed to catch you by your fingers. "From the back, she looks just like you."
Realization dawned on her and she… laughed. Softly, not the "in your face" kinda laugh that would make you feel even more bad. "You thought she was me."
"It was humiliating, Nat," you stated. You relived the moment in your head again and you wanted to scream. "I just sort of… blacked out. One second, I'm standing in front of a new and improved Maria. Next, I'm hearing you knocking against my door." You stared ahead, eyes wide. "It's horrifying. It doesn't go with her skin tone at all."
Natasha chuckled, her head falling back into the pillow. "And here I thought something bad actually happened."
"Something bad did happen, Nat," you expressed. "I thought it was you, so I…" You explained what you did, cheeks red with embarrassment.
Natasha gasped, picking her head up again. "You didn't."
"I did." There was a moment of silence, Natasha letting you soak in your thoughts for a second before you smacked her shoulder. "I hate you."
"Babe, you're acting like it's the end of the world," she stated. "Did you sleep with her?"
"Wha- No! Of course not! Why would that even-"
"Then everything is fine," she assured you, laying back into the pillow. And then she chuckled as she said, "At least I know you won't cheat on me."
"I could cheat on you if I wanted to," you declared stubbornly, "I just don't want to."
"You're falling apart because you grabbed another girl's waist," Natasha said, laughing. "Just imagine what would happen to you if you actually did sleep with someone."
"Oh, my- I'd just have a full-on meltdown at that point." Your stomach twisted at even the thought of sleeping with someone that isn't Natasha. "It's all you. You're the only one I want, Romanoff."
She grinned. "Prove it."
You rolled your eyes, listening to her squeal as you rolled over on top of her, pinning her arms above her head by her wrists. Your legs tangled around hers, the blanket weaving around your ankles as you moved. She lightly tugged against your grip on her wrists as you used your free hand to smooth out the indent in between her eyebrows, your face close to hers. Your finger trailed down her face, rounding her nose and swiping across her bottom lip. When her face contorted in pain, you started to pull away, but she shook her head, desperate to keep you on her. To her, the pain was worth it. But you lifted your weight off of her a little bit, relieving her from some of the pain.
"I'll prove it," you whispered, your lips brushing against her ear. Her heartbeat picked up speed underneath you, her head instinctively turning away from you to give you better access to her neck. She writhed underneath you when your lips connected to a spot on her neck, her hands pushing a bit harder against your constraint, desperate to touch you.
"Let me," she pleaded, her sentence fading into a moan as you dragged your lips lower. "Y/N. Please."
You couldn't help but laugh at her begging, your smile pressed against her skin. The second your grip loosened, her hands were immediately under your shirt, gasping at her cool fingers dancing along your back, sliding upwards and creating a trail of goosebumps behind her path.
"Stop teasing me," she whispered. "You've proven it."
You hummed against her neck for a moment before picking your head up, your nose rubbing against hers. She lifted her chin in an attempt to latch your lips onto hers, but your lips merely brushed against each other, leaving her whining underneath you.
"I am…" She made eye contact with you, her eyes begging for more of your taste, her tongue flicking out to lick her lips and you almost gave in. Almost. "...hungry."
She tried to hold onto you, but you managed to escape her and climb off the bed, laughing at her pleading groans. "I hate you so much right now."
You turned to look at her, seeing her tangled in the blankets, her hair tousled around her face, surrounding her in the perfect frame of red tangles. If she hadn't been so cocky, you would've finished what you started. And this picture of her right now would've ignited that burning desire deep down in your soul, but you made yourself walk backward, your eyes remaining on her vulnerable form as you blindly made your way to the door.
"The things I'd be doing to you right now," you told her, biting your bottom lip to prevent the smile from growing on your face. Your back bumped into the door, your hand finding the knob almost immediately. "You could be screaming my name right now."
"Y/N." She moaned your name, her hand reaching out to you, desperate for your hold. "Please."
You stepped forward, bringing the door with you as you opened it. "Maybe later." You sent her a wink before turning to leave, your heart dropping as you jumped back when you saw Maria on the other side, her hand up as she was about to knock. The gasp that left your throat was enough to make Natasha climb out of bed to join your side.
She saw it for herself, the new haircut Maria was flaunting matched that of her own. She didn't know how to handle this, the shock keeping her lips sealed as the two of you stared at her.
You were wrong. It went along well with her skin tone, but she didn't want to admit that. She knew why you said it.
"I was just… checking up on you." Maria stared between the two of you, marking the crazy hairstyle Natasha has going on, clearing her throat as she brought her arm back to her side. "We haven't bumped into each other today after this morning." She was clearly interrupting something.
"She's fine," Natasha said, finally able to find her voice while you, on the other hand, still couldn't. It was going to take a while to get used to the hairdo, knowing you're gonna have to pay close attention now that two distinct redheads are mucking about in the compound. You don't even know where to begin to comprehend how weird this could possibly be for Natasha.
Maria's eyes flickered to Natasha, blazing with annoyance. She was talking to you, not her. The look was subtle, hidden amongst a toothy grin and hopeful face.
You cleared your throat, finally snapping out of your daze. "I'm fine." You sent Maria a smile as you leaned against the door. "Thanks for checking up on me, Maria."
Her smile reached her eyes at your voice, her head tilting just slightly at your manners. You were oblivious to the tense stare Natasha was sending her; she wasn't, but she stood against it. She wasn't going to scare her away from you. "Anytime." She meant it when she said it. She'd drop anything and everything to run to you when you call. She turned to face Natasha, her eyes hardening to mirror the true redhead's glare. "I was wondering if we could postpone the training-"
"You, a rookie, are asking me to postpone your training?" Maria could see which way this was going to go. Natasha knows Maria's little secret, but what she doesn't know is the true depth of her feelings for you are. "Actually, I'm going to make it an hour earlier. I expect you to be on time." Natasha's arm extended in front of you, pushing you back slightly so she could shut the door on Maria.
"That was a bit harsh," you commented, watching Natasha run a hand through her tangled hair. You grinned, crossing your arms over your shoulder. "Are you trying to make me know that you're not returning her crush?"
Her hand froze in the middle of her hair, eyes zoning out for a moment. You don't realize Maria's affection and she's not sure if she should tell you or not. She's definitely not threatened by the likes of Maria, and if she was willing to go far enough to sabotage her motorcycle and to chop off her hair and dye it the same color as Natasha's, then her "crush" might not be just that. "I'd like to keep an eye on her," Natasha expressed. "I think you should steer clear from Maria for a bit, too. I'm worried."
You furrowed your eyebrows. "Why are you worried? Maria is harmless."
Harmless for now. Training her to become more of a threat is what's worrying her. She's gonna have to file a transfer, get Maria out of here and away from you. She's already advanced as is, with a month and a half of training under her belt.
"Baby." Your voice pulled her out of her thoughts, blinking them away. You stepped up to you, wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her close to you. "What's on your mind?" You pouted, the pout you always used to get information out of Natasha, the pout she always gave in to.
But she didn't want you to worry. Soon, Maria's just going to be a lost memory between the two of you once she gets that transfer filed. "Nothing," she said before planting a quick kiss on the tip of your nose. Your pout turned into a frown. You knew she was lying. "Let's go to bed."
"I wanna get some food first." You've been in bed all day, hiding from your humiliation. You sent her a warm smile, the tenseness in her eyes relaxing. "I'll be back." You caught her lips in a quick, soft kiss before breaking away from her, feeling a bit repetitive as you walked backward to the door. "Want something?" She crossed her arms over her chest as she shook her head, a small smile tugging her lips. She watched you leave the room.
There weren't a lot of people in the compound at this time, a few stragglers here and there, but nothing like it is during the day. It was quiet, peaceful, and the kitchen was practically empty aside from an agent or two enjoying a break.
You settled on something quick, feeling too lazy to cook actual food. You just wanted to eat and get back to Natasha as fast as possible, knowing she was waiting with an empty spot next to her just for you. You managed to get a few bites in before the chair next to you was pulled away from the table, having to do a double-take to make sure it was Maria and not Natasha.
You remembered Natasha's words and your first instinct upon seeing her sit down next to you was to run, but… you were frozen. You couldn't move.
"Hey," she said softly, a small smile lifting the corner of her lips. "Are you really okay?"
No. "Yes." How did she know where to find you?
She squinted her eyes, skeptical of your answer. There was zero thinking in the response. "Are you sure? If Agent Romanoff is hurting you-"
"Definitely not," you stated. You couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Natasha ever hurting you, shaking your head as you turned away from Maria and back to your food. "Nat would never hurt me. We’re fine.”
She released a long sigh, making you turn your head to look back at her. "I was in a relationship like that, once," she admitted, looking away from you. She rubbed her arms, shy, as a small smile lifted her lips. "We were together for so long and it was perfect. I was so in love that I didn't realize what she was doing to me. She started with little white lies, and then she told me to stay away from certain people, hiding things." And then she sighed, the reminiscing smile fading away from her face. “It wasn’t until I found out she was cheating on me that I had a wake-up call.”
You looked away again, your teeth clenching. Natasha loved you, she would never do that to you… right? "I'm sorry you had to go through that," you expressed, sending her a smile, "but this is not my relationship. We've been together for years and it's been perfect."
She pursed her lips together for a moment. "All good things come to an end," is the only thing she said. She patted you on the shoulder as she stood up, leaving you alone with your food… and thoughts.
She held a smile on her face as she walked away.
You and Natasha were fine. You couldn’t let Maria get into your head like that, turning away from her retreating form to go back to your food. You stared at the plate in front of you, eyebrows furrowed deeply in thought. Natasha wouldn’t do those things, she loved you… right?
You had suddenly lost your appetite, cleaning up your food before leaving the kitchen. You didn’t go back to the bedroom, to Natasha. Instead, you made your way to the training room and positioned yourself in front of a punching bag, wrapping tape around your fingers. You needed to think, and punching helped push your thoughts down the hill to get them rolling.
So what if she doesn’t tell you her thoughts all the time? She was worried about Maria, but why? You saw no real threat in the recruit. Really, you should be the one to be worried about Maria. Her crush on Natasha has managed to evolve into something creepy, like getting the same exact haircut. You should be concerned for Natasha’s safety, standing by her side in case Maria’s obsession takes a turn for the worse. Everything in you wanted to protect her, to hold onto her defensively. You knew Natasha could handle herself, but at the moment, it didn’t matter.
You just wanted her to be safe.
You threw a frustrated punch into the punching bag, huffing in annoyance when it ripped open underneath your fist, the pressure of the sand tearing the hole to make it bigger. You were forced to take a step back as the sand started pouring out, making a pile on the floor beneath the hanging bag.
“You must have some secret super strength or something you never told me about.” You flinched at the voice, picking your head up to see Clint walking into the room. You sighed, a bit relieved that it wasn’t a redhead, either one of them. “How come you never told me?”
“It’s an old bag,” you expressed, eyebrows furrowed in slight anger as you looked back at the hole. “It was going to give in eventually.” It just so happened to give in on your most frustrating punch.
He helped you unhook the bag from the ceiling, laying it flat so it would stop spilling its guts everywhere. You scratched the top of your head, staring at the big pile of sand in the middle of the training room. You chewed the inside of your cheek, lost in thought. So lost in thought that you hadn’t even processed that Clint was talking until he snapped his fingers in front of your face.
“What?” You blinked, looking at him.
He grinned, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you okay?”
“Why is everybody asking me that?” You huffed in annoyance, harshly unwrapping the tape from your knuckles. You avoided eye contact with him, focused on the tape. “I’m fine.”
He sighed, watching as you started having trouble removing the tape from your knuckles, the strip getting tangled in God knows what, and you threw your hands in the air. You give up, your eyes burning with tears from how agitated you were with this whole thing. Clint saw this, taking a step forward and gently grabbing onto your hand.
You watched as he removed the tape from your knuckles for you, sniffling loudly. The quiet between the two of you was welcoming, needed. You just wanted the comfort of someone who’s not judging you, who’s not questioning everything you do. He crumpled up the tape between his hands when he got it all off of you, sending you a kind smile when you looked up at him.
“If I didn’t know any better, then I’d say that you’re definitely not fine,” he stated as a matter of factly. You glared at him through your unshed tears, eyes and cheeks red. “What’s on your mind, Y/N?”
You crossed your arms over your chest, chewing the inside of your cheek once again. Maria’s words just echoed in your head and you can’t believe you were letting her play with your emotions like this. “It’s just something Maria said,” you admitted, placing a hand on your forehead and closing your eyes. You just wanted to hide in your bed again.
“What’d she say?”
You scratched the back of your head as your eyes slowly opened, releasing a hefty sigh. “She suggested that… Nat was cheating.”
You saw the second Clint lost his casual mask, anger crossing his features within the blink of an eye. His eyes narrowed, fire igniting behind his pupils at your words. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this angry before, and you’ve seen situations where he was mad. “She said that?”
“Suggested.”
“And you believe her?”
“Of course not!” You were so annoyed with yourself when you even believed it for a second. The signs, according to Maria, were all there. The small lies, the controlling. Though it wasn’t as much as she claimed it to be. It was one little lie, one moment of controlling, one day of hiding, but there’s always escalation. Once it starts, you don’t think it’ll ever end. “It’s just the thought. The possibility.”
Clint was still fuming, his arms crossed over his chest as he harshly squished the wad of tape in his hand. It didn’t matter what anybody said, Clint knows Natasha isn’t a cheater. “Maria has an... infatuation with you.”
“That’s what Nat was saying,” you said, “but it’s painstakingly obvious that Maria likes Nat.” You could even say love if you wanted, but you didn’t. Nat wasn’t Maria’s to love, she was yours.
“Seriously?” The anger in Clint’s eyes seemed to have evaporated at your obliviousness, furrowing your eyebrows together when a grin showed up on his face. He was amused. “Y/N, she did her hair to look precisely like Nat.”
“Exactly.”
“Your girlfriend.”
“My- Oh.” Your eyebrows shot up in shock. Why hasn’t that even crossed your mind? Maria dyed and cut her hair to mirror Natasha’s for you, not for her. She thinks you have a thing for redheads when, in reality, you just have a thing for Natasha. Red colored your cheeks, clearing your throat from the embarrassment that you felt. Now that you think about it, it would’ve been a bit weird for Natasha to date someone that looks like her. Talk about an ego.
Clint couldn’t help but laugh at this serious situation, seeing the realization slowly cross your features in real-time. “How have you not realized the love that girl has for you?”
You already answered this kind of question when Natasha asked it a month ago, and you gave Clint the same answer you had given her. You were way too focused on Natasha to notice anybody else. Maria was just a recruit to you, not even a competition to Natasha. “It doesn’t matter how Maria feels about me, Clint. I will choose Natasha, every single time.”
He patted you on the shoulder, clearly glad to hear you say that. “So stop doubting her,” he declared. “She’s not cheating on you. She would never cheat on you, Y/N, because she loves you too much to do that. And don’t let Hopkins get in your head.”
“You’re right.” You groaned, rubbing your face. You really needed that vacation Natasha’s mentioning. At this point, you don’t even care if she wins and picks the location. You wanted to get out of here for a bit, not even think about anything SHIELD related.
“Good.” He nodded, uncrossing his arms and tossing the wad of tape in the air, but you managed to snatch it before it fell back into his hand. He rolled his eyes as you started walking away, tossing the tape into the nearest trash before leaving the training room.
You're gonna have to apologize to maintenance about the pile of sand when you see them.
“How’s your training going?” you questioned as he walked alongside you in the halls.
He sighed. “Not good,” he confessed. “My recruits don’t seem to be into it anymore. They’re not even trying.” You had to bite back a smile, crossing your arms over your chest as you wandered around the compound with Clint by your side. Of course they were no longer trying. You had informed them that the top agent in their class would be nominated to be the director’s assistant, how it happened every few years and this was one of those years.
At first mention, it sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity, but the more you talked about assisting Nick Fury, the more it seemed like a chore. It was a made up position, obviously, so of course you had to go all out on it. The pay was absolutely horrible, they would barely get any time out in the field, and Nick Fury himself was just an absolute asshole to his assistant, not being able to keep one for more than a year. After mentioning little fake facts, you saw the look on their faces.
They didn’t want that job. The only thing that’s worse than having just one recruit is having two that don’t try.
“Looks like you’re going to be the loser this year, then,” you stated, clapping him on the back with a laugh. “Big, juicy steak with my name on it, just waiting to be paid by Clint Barton.”
“We’ll see in a month, Y/N,” he promised. “I’m going to whip these recruits into shape, even if it kills me.”
“Even if it gets you an HR visit?”
“Even then!” he confirmed and you laughed again. “I’m not a sore loser. I’m not rubbing the fact that you only have one recruit in your face.”
“Nat said something, huh."
“Yep," he confessed, laughing.
You grinned. Natasha must have told him to cool it on the teasing. You didn’t mind when he did it, but you thought it was even funnier when Natasha got on his case about it. Watching the “big man” cripple in fear underneath a petite redhead was the best thing you could ever see.
“Whatever,” he muttered.
“I didn’t even say anything!”
He rolled his eyes, slightly pushing you away from him. “Your grin says otherwise,” he countered and you laughed. “I’m going to bed.” Shaking his head, he separated from you, your laughter chasing him as he walked away.
You made your way to your own bedroom, excited to join Natasha in bed now. The door to your room came into view, your heart picking up speed at the thought of her, but you skidded to a halt when you heard the faint noise of someone crying behind a partly closed door, the maintenance closet. Everything in you told you to just ignore it, to walk away, but there was a small voice in the back of your head that told you to comfort whoever it was that was crying. The part in your brain that had the moral compass, telling you that the right thing to do in this situation is to check up on the person behind the door. And, so, you did.
You pushed the door open slowly, just enough to get into the room, the person crying in the dim light immediately halting their sobs, sniffling. You peeked around the corner and saw Maria sitting on an upside down bucket, sighing as you realized that you should’ve just kept on walking and now it was just too late to turn back now. You told yourself that Clint’s words were just not the truth, that Maria didn’t have any feelings for you. It made it easier as you entered the closet, staying a few feet away from her just in case.
“Looks like it’s my turn to ask, but are you okay?” You crossed your arms over your chest loosely, preparing to use them if need be.
Maria laughed humorlessly at your pathetic joke, nodding her head and using the back of her hand to wipe off a side of her face, though it wasn’t worth it. More tears just recovered it. “I’ll be fine.”
You sighed, taking a tentative step forward. “What happened?”
“John... broke up with me.” That’s right, she’s dating John! There was no way she’ll have feelings for other people if she’s opening herself up to dating, right? You had completely forgotten about their relationship, seeing them together for the first time a month ago in that restaurant and just not thinking about it ever again. It didn’t seem like they were dating, but you understood if they wanted to keep it on the down low. Especially since they’re both recruits.
You walked the rest of the way into the closet, kneeling down in front of her. You weren’t very good at the consoling part. It was easier with Natasha because if she was upset, all you had to do was just hold her and she was okay afterward, but you didn’t want to hold Maria. Even if she does look like Natasha.
“Hey, it’s not the end of the world,” you assured her. “Sure, it feels like it now, but that feeling doesn’t last forever. Trust me, Maria. I’ve gone through my share of breakups.” You rested a hand on her shoulder, not even thinking about the contact, not even thinking about how her jaw clenched and her eyes fluttering close underneath your touch. “He’s an idiot, anyway. You’re a great, kind person, Maria, and he’s stupid for throwing that away.”
Her eyes opened and she looked at you, tears no longer coated her eyes. A smile lifted her lips and the silence between you started to get awkward, especially since your hand was still on her shoulder. You wanted to break it, either the contact or the silence, but when you tried to pull your hand away from her, she quickly caught your wrist. Her grip was tight, refusing to let go even if you tried to lightly tug against her.
“Maria-”
“I need comfort.” You felt her pull your wrist to her, making you lose balance and fall to your knees, ultimately getting closer to her. She didn’t waste a moment, her lips finding yours the second your knees touched the floor, the second you were close to her. The kiss was rough, harsh, everything you didn’t want in a kiss. Her other hand wrapped around the back of your neck in a tight grip, pulling you into her and preventing you from pushing her away. You felt her teeth against your lips, desperately trying to get away from her. And thank God for breathing because the instant she needed to breathe, the instant she pulled herself back just a little bit to catch her breath, you managed to use your free hand to swipe up in between your faces, knocking her arm off of your neck.
You were on your feet immediately, staggering back to get as far away from her as possible. You wondered just how far she would have gone if you hadn’t managed to escape her grasp, the look of a broken hearted girl no longer on her face. She was angry, annoyed that you got away. Your hand found the door, pulling it open the rest of the way, letting the light from the hall flood the room in a brighter color.
She stood up, stepping towards you. “Y/N, I’m sorry,” she begged. “I was… just so vulnerable.” That wasn’t vulnerability. That was… something else. “Y/N, please.”
You finally got your common sense back and left the room, feeling her watch you run away. She gritted her teeth and kicked the bucket she was sitting on, wiping off the tears from her face. She had always been able to make herself cry on command, it wasn’t hard and it always works like a charm. She wasn’t dating John. And as long as you don’t bring it up, you won’t know that.
She knew you were running to Natasha and that only made her even more pissed off. She was mad at herself, too. She rushed into it too quickly, not giving you the time to process your feelings for her. She was scaring you off and she needed to pull back. But the thing is, she didn’t want to. She wanted you. She needed you. And that kiss? Oh, that was her breaking point. She had both boyfriends and girlfriends throughout her life and not a single one of them made her feel like that while kissing. She was going to get you.
And she’ll stop at nothing to get her way.
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When Natasha opened her eyes, she slowly rolled over, grunting in pain, to see you lying on your back next to her, your eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. If it wasn’t for your chest subtly rising and falling, she would’ve thought you were dead. She placed a hand on your shoulder, but immediately pulled it away when you flinched at the feeling, gasping as if you haven’t been breathing the whole time.
She saw a tear slowly crawl down your cheek and she was instantly on high alert, propping her head up with her elbow. Her eyebrows pinched together in anger, her jaw tightening as she stared at you, another tear following the trail the first one left.
“What happened, baby?” She tried to keep her voice even and calm, but there was a touch of toxicity in her tone. She couldn’t help it. Just the thought of somebody potentially hurting you to the point where you were just lying there like a statue… she wanted to kill them.
“I’m so sorry.” Your voice was quiet, cracking. Another tear slid down your face and she fought the instinct to swipe it away. “I… I…” You finally moved a limb, your hand covering your eyes as a sob escaped the back of your throat.
Natasha was scared to touch you. She didn’t want to scare you at the same time she wanted to hold you, to wrap you in her arms as tight as she possibly can and never let go. But her limbs were just as frozen as yours, anger making her rigid. Your hand still covered your eyes, refusing to let anymore tears be seen as your fingers soaked them up. She stayed quiet, letting you process.
“I’m so naïve,” you continued, your hand falling from your face. She saw you now, your red eyes, your red cheeks, your red nose. You wanted to cry so hard, but you fought against that feeling for now. “I should’ve listened to you and Clint. I should’ve… I should’ve walked away. She...” Your sentence cut off in a sob.
“What did she do?” Natasha instantly knew who you were talking about, her jaw clenching so tight that she could crack a walnut between her teeth. Her free hand balled into a fist, her nails digging into her palm. You weren't looking at her to see the anger and she was thankful for that.
In between your sobbing and tears, you told her what had happened in that maintenance closet with Maria, even the moment in the kitchen, Natasha listening closely. Her eyes narrowed as your story was coming to an end, her blood boiling with pure rage, but the feeling quickly melted away when you covered your face with both of your hands, crying into your palms. As much as she wanted to go seek Maria and show her exactly what the consequences of doing this to you were, she wanted to console you even more.
She gently placed a hand on one of your elbows. The second she touched you, you rolled over into her arms, your hands leaving your face as you cried into her. She held onto you tightly, rubbing your back as you half sobbed, half apologized.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't feel angry with you in her arms. She wanted to imagine what she was going to do to Maria, but she couldn't. She could only think of you, holding onto her so tightly as if you were afraid to let go.
She planted her lips on the top of your head and stayed there, shushing you soothingly as you continued to cry.
It didn't take long for you to fall asleep. Your sleeping schedule was all wrong now that you had slept the day away yesterday. And you would've stayed asleep, too, but when you reached for Natasha, your hand caught the mattress and not her body, pulling you out of your slumber. It was early, she must be trying to train. You wondered if it would go well with her injury. She doesn't necessarily need to be physical to train, but it's easier.
Your eyes opened, brain foggy. You instinctively wiped your face, feeling the dried tear stains and you were reminded of what had happened. Guilt ate at you as you sat up, rubbing your eyes with your palms as you sucked in a shaky breath. The urge to stay in bed all day again was strong, you even went as far as to pull the covers over your head.
A groan came from underneath the covers and you threw them off your head, looking over at the empty spot and furrowing your eyebrows when you saw that Natasha's phone still sat on the nightstand. She usually takes her phone with her, it's a part of the job. You sucked on your bottom lip for a moment before climbing out of the bed with another groan, getting to your feet and putting on some fresh clothes before leaving the room.
You checked the kitchen when you didn't find her in the training room, spotting one of her recruits, Stephen Griggs, sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal. You walked up to him and he greeted you with a smile, a mouthful of cereal behind it. Milk dribbled down his chin as he quickly swallowed the cereal to greet you with a "good morning", wiping the milk off of his chin.
"Aren't you supposed to be training?"
He shrugged. "Agent Romanoff never showed up," he stated. "I just figured she was still training Hopkins."
You couldn't help but wince at the name, your posture straightening defensively. "They're not in the training room."
"No, they wouldn't be," he assured. "Romanoff thought it'd be better to train outside today because of the weather. They should be-"
"I know. Thanks." You waved him off as you walked away.
You knew Natasha was professional enough not to let what happened last night affect training Maria. The quicker she gets Maria out of the training program, the sooner neither of you have to see her ever again.
After checking outside to see that she wasn't out there, you were starting to get a bit worried. You soon found yourself in front of Maria's door, a shared room with one of Clint's recruits, who was no doubtedly training right now. And if Natasha wasn't outside or in the training room with Maria, then Maria had to be in here.
Hesitantly, you knocked on the door. As much as you didn't want to, you had to face Maria to question her about Natasha. You had to put the humiliation on hold for a moment to find out where your girlfriend was… if the door ever opened, which it didn't. You turned away to leave, but froze when you heard a floorboard creak from behind the closed door. You could be hearing things, desperation can lead to you hearing what you want to hear, so you tried to open the door.
It was locked, but that didn't stop you from knocking on it again.
"Maria?" You leaned against the door, raising your voice so that she would hear you no matter where she was in the room. You cleared your throat, glancing over your shoulder. "Maria, I'm just… I'm trying to find Nat. Have you seen her?"
Silence. Maybe you were just hearing things, sighing after a moment before ultimately leaving.
You made it back to your room, having to get dressed and ready for John's next training session despite Natasha being the only thing on your mind. You weren't going to be a very good teacher today, but John has been handling himself well. The only thing he needs help with is the same exact thing you had trouble with when you were training - the shooting range. Other than that, he was perfect.
He actually has a chance at placing second.
You were pulling your shoes on when Natasha's phone released a vibration, the nightstand enhancing the sound. You ignored it at first, not giving it a second thought. You tied your shoes and stood up, the phone flickering on a moment later with another text.
You caught a glimpse of it, the word baby catching your interest. You were just going to ignore it again, but now you were just curious.
You swiped the phone off the nightstand, unplugging it from the charger and unlocking her phone - your birthday was her passcode, isn't that adorable? - to look at the texts.
Baby, I'm pretty sure I left my bra in your room. That text alone should've ripped your heart to pieces, but the messages kept coming, new, sent moments ago.
Nat, are you there?
I'll stop by in a moment to get my bra. We don't need Y/N finding out.
Are we still on for tonight? I can do that new thing that Y/N doesn't want. You know, the position where you- You stopped reading, not finishing the sentence.
The phone fell from your hand and landed on the ground with a thud as you raced to the bathroom, dropping to your knees in front of the toilet to empty out whatever is in your stomach.
The more you pictured Natasha in bed with someone else, the more you puked. "All good things come to an end," thought in Maria's condescending, bone-chilling voice. You gagged into the toilet, but there was nothing left in your stomach. You had emptied it, just like Natasha has emptied your heart.
You stood to your feet and washed your mouth out with water from the sink, tears blurring your vision for a brief moment before using the stream of water to rinse your face off. You felt as if you needed to vomit again, the urge to return to the toilet strong, but you walked away. You left the bathroom, your room, and made your way to Natasha's. You had to see for yourself.
The door was unlocked, which was a good thing for you considering you had left your copy of the key back in your room and you didn't feel like doubling back. You entered the room, still a bit hopeful that all of this was some sort of sick joke. You dug through her room, and she made it easy with how she always kept it clean. A highly trained assassin never leaves behind a mess, or a bra you found stuffed underneath the bed.
Not one of Natasha's.
Not one of yours.
You didn't touch the mysterious bra, turning away from it to try and get the image of it out of your memory, but it was too late. It was permanently engraved, just like picturing Natasha with someone else in this exact bed.
"She would never cheat on you, Y/N, because she loves you too much to do that." Okay, Clint, whatever you say.
You practically ran out of the room, closing the door behind you and leaning against it to regain your posture. This was how your "perfect" four year relationship was going to end? By catching her going behind your back? And don't even have an idea as to where she is to confront her about it! She's probably off with her side whore right now!
You felt sick again, your stomach twisting in a bunch of different ways. You bent over in an attempt to get your stomach to settle before you pissed off maintenance even more by throwing up in the middle of the hallway, your hands using your knees as support.
"Y/N?"
You shot up, your back a rigid pole as you looked towards the source of your name, relief flooding through you when you watched John stroll up to you. You cleared your throat, instinctively wiping your face only to realize that you had tears running down your cheeks.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," you said. You sucked in a deep breath and stepped away from Natasha's room. "What's up?"
"Training started half an hour ago." Geez, you must seem like a really crappy teacher at this point, constantly missing sessions with your only recruit. "But it seems like you're not doing okay-"
"I said I'm fine," you stated, annoyed. "Let's hit the shooting range." You allowed him to take the lead, following him outside in silence. He didn't dare speak, accepting the gun from your hand when you pulled it out of the locker. "If you shoot a civilian, restart." He nodded as he started shooting the gun.
You watched him, trying your damned hardest not to think about Natasha or the mystery woman she's cheating on you with, but it was so hard not to let your mind wander back in that general direction. Your heart hurt, along with other parts of your body. All this time and effort in the last four years for one relationship, down the drain. You thought she was the one you were going to spend forever with. Now she's the one to give you trust issues.
John finished the shooting range on his second try flawlessly, not a single civilian hit. He reloaded the gun as you told him to do it again. Each gunshot echoed in your head, dulling your senses. You wanted to scream, to cry. You wanted to just… be in Natasha's arms.
What do you do when the person you want comfort from the most is the one who caused your pain?
"Again," you commanded John when he looked at you for guidance, his third time just as perfect as the second. You seemed to be in a vicious cycle with John right now, telling him to do it over and over again as if the results were going to change, as if the last ten times in a row he's done it 100% were just flukes, just lies. He had run out of bullets an hour later, his hands sore and calloused from shooting for sixty minutes straight.
He looked at you, his eyes wide with fear as you stared at the gun, it's empty clips resting to the side, stance tense and muscles locked. He cleared his throat, glancing over his shoulder, before stepping forward. "Y/N?"
You blinked, tearing your eyes away from the bare gun to look at him. You breathed out, your eyes fluttering close to prevent the tears you feel threatening to escape as you sucked in a deep breath. "You're dismissed, John," you said as you breathed out again, listening to John's fading footsteps.
You opened your eyes and found that you were alone. You weren't going to cry. You told yourself you weren't going to cry for a cheater. So, you gathered the vacant gun and moved to the locker, taking out a box of bullets.
You heard someone approach you from behind, but you continued filling the clips for the gun, for the next users.
"How long have you been out here for?" It was Clint. Your jaw clenched as you loaded a full clip into the locker before taking the next empty one.
"An hour." Your answer was curt, hoping he'd take the hint and leave you alone, but he walked closer to you and knew he wasn't getting the clue. Or he was just ignoring it. Either way, it was clear that he wasn't leaving you alone just yet.
"You're not okay." You only managed to load one bullet into the next clip before you slammed it down against the locker at his words, your eyes squeezing shut. Your jaw tightened. "What is it?"
"You lied to me." Your eyes flew open and you turned to look at him. He released a soft breath when he saw your face, your eyes just wanting to let the tears out. "You lied!"
"Y/N, what-"
"You said…" You ran a hand over the top of your head, grabbing onto the back of your neck. You couldn't get the words out, knowing you'll just break if you say them. But the confused, concerned look on Clint right now made you say, "You said that she would never cheat on me, Clint. You said because she loves me too much to do that!" You were right, you broke. You fell to your knees, Clint immediately crouched down, his hand resting on your shoulder in an attempt to console you.
"It's not a lie, Y/N," he said.
You shook your head, looking up at him. "She's cheating on me, Clint! I saw the- the texts! The evi- evidence!" You were crying so bad, you were hiccupping. You moved to sit on your butt, bringing your knees to your chest as his hand slid off your shoulder.
"No, that doesn't make sense," he argued. He cleared his throat, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He moved to be in front of you, resting his arms against his knees. "Nat wouldn't do that, Y/N."
"There's hard evidence, Clint!" You shoved him away, desperate to have space so you could just breathe. He sat down a few feet away from you, holding his arms around his knees and watched you. You were quiet for a long while, your eyes staring at an empty spot in the grass.
He waited patiently, letting you work through your thoughts, hoping you'd see that she would never do this to you. The longer you sat in silence, the more calmed you became. Your sobbing stopped and your hiccups stilled. He sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly, feeling pain for you.
"I… don't know how long it's been going on." When you spoke, your voice was soft. He wanted to comfort you, but he didn't know how. He stayed his distance either way. "I don't even know where she is to… confront her about it."
The last time Clint saw her was sometime yesterday, but only because she was searching for you. He wouldn't be able to help you find her. He has to start training soon, and he wouldn't even know where to begin. If Natasha is nowhere to be found, is it a possibility that you're right? Clint still can't find it within himself to believe that.
"I need… a drink." You climbed to your feet, Clint following your lead
"Y/N-"
"Clint, don't." He sighed as you marched past him, placing his hands on his hips as he watched you leave over his shoulder. He'll let you drink, let you numb your thoughts to stop thinking about this situation for a moment, but after… he's going to make you talk about it.
Your face was clean by the time you walked into the living area, immediately making your way to the bar and snagging the closest bottle of alcohol you could reach. Your arms snaked over the bar, digging underneath and grabbing the first glass your fingers touched. You didn't even finish pouring the drink by the time you were swallowing the liquid. Whiskey, what a way to start off.
You were semi aware of someone sliding into the chair next to you, but you had already taken your fifth shot by then and weren't looking too well. You turned your whole body to see who joined you, your heart freezing when you made eye contact with Natasha. "Oh, look," you stated, "the cheater returns."
"Y/N." Even in your drunken state, that voice didn't belong to Natasha. "Maybe you should slow down."
"Maybe you should just leave me alone, Hopkins." You waved her off as you turned back to your drink, refilling the cup and swallowing it within five seconds. "I'm superior. You don't get to tell me what to do, recruit."
She sighed. She wanted you to stop, but she wasn't doing anything to prevent you from continuing hiding your feelings in that bottle of whiskey. If you weren't drunk, you would've questioned that. But you were, so you didn't even acknowledge that.
"My life is ruined," you continued, filling up your cup once more. You brought the glass to your lips, breathing in the amber liquid swirling around the glass. "The love of my life, Natasha Romanoff, has been cheating on me… for god knows how long." You swallowed the liquid, sucking your teeth as it burned its way down your throat. You breathed out, your shoulders slumping. "How can I want so desperately for her to wrap me up in her arms when she didn't even hesitate to rip my heart out and step on it?" As if your heart was a lit cigarette being squashed underneath a shoe.
Maria sighed, leaning forward. "Hey," she said, gaining your attention, "it's not the end of the world." You rolled your eyes, looking away from her to pour yourself another shot. "I know it feels like that now, but that feeling doesn't last."
You swallowed another shot, slamming the glass into the table and moving to pour one more, but Maria finally decided to intervene. She grabbed the whiskey bottle from you, sliding it away and out of your reach. You leaned forward, arm stretched, and your body rubbed against hers. In the feeling of contact, Maria froze for a moment, feeling that warmth spread through her at your touch. And then she came back to her senses.
If you weren't drunk, you would've seen her add something to the bottle. If you weren't desperately trying to drown your feelings in the dark golden liquid, you would've noticed how quickly she gave in to giving you the bottle back. If you weren't absolutely heart broken, you wouldn't have just taken a shot straight from the bottle.
It didn't take long for whatever drug she used to kick in. The last thing you saw before you passed out was Maria's smiling face.
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Maybe it was the fact that you couldn't move your hands, or the fact that your nose was being filled with an unfamiliar smell. It didn't matter. Either way, you woke up to unknown surroundings.
It seemed to have been a bedroom in an old apartment building. The floral wallpaper was peeling off in some parts, revealing the nasty green sitting underneath. There was a door to the left of you and a wooden bi-fold door to the right, a closet. At least the floor was a bit clean, save for… your clothes scattered on the floor, the ones you were wearing last night. Your stomach twisted as you looked down, slightly relieved that you were only wearing a set of pajamas (that weren't yours) but still freaked out at the fact that someone changed you while you were sleeping.
You looked up to see your hands tied to the iron headboard behind you, the knots tight enough to leave burns along your wrist. The room was lit up by the window, no blinds to prevent the room from being in the dark. You opened your mouth to call out for someone, but the door swung open and a smiling Maria entered the room. Her red hair is always going to throw you off, despite the multiple times you said it'll be okay.
"Maria?" You furrowed your eyebrows, more confused now. "What's going on? Did we…" You didn't feel as if you did, but you just wanted to be sure.
"No," she quickly assured, bringing a glass of water to you. "I love you, Y/N, so I won't do anything to hurt you majorly." She sat down next to you on the bed, moving the glass to your lips. "Drink," she ordered before tipping the cup, forcing you to take a sip. The flavor of the water was not right, the metallic taste left in your tongue after you swallowed it made you cough.
She offered you a big, kind smile as she placed the glass onto the nightstand. It was as if she was doing nothing wrong, like keeping you tied to a bed in the middle of some room was just another day of the week. Terror is the only thing preventing you from screaming. She had the upper hand here and you didn't know what she'd do with it if you misbehaved.
You watched as she placed the glass onto the nightstand and turned back to look at you, her fingers delicately swiping your forehead and it took every power within you not to pull away from her.
"What are you doing?" you asked gently, watching as her lips were pursed together in thought, a soft humming coming from the back of her throat. Her eyes were kind, like she was true to her word and she wouldn't do anything to hurt you, yet you were scared. "Why am I-"
"Shh," she whispered, moving her hand down your face to place a finger against your lips. You were instantly quiet, trying not to let the fear you're feeling show on your face. "I'm going to make you forget." Forget? Forget what?
But you didn't ask. Even when she removed her finger from your lips, standing up off the bed and making her way towards the closet door. She pulled open the bi-fold, blindly reaching in there and your face contorted to pure horror when she pulled Natasha out.
She was still in the same clothes she wore last night, her black, thin strapped tank top and her black shorts. Sweat covered her face, telling you she must've been in that small, hot room for a while. She was silenced by a rag cutting into her mouth, her hands tied behind her back, and blood stained her clothes. You tugged against your restraints as Maria forced Natasha onto her knees, her head barely able to stay upright. Your instinct to make sure Natasha's okay was strong.
"What did you do?"
"What did I do?" Maria rolled her eyes, a daze Natasha obedient at her feet. "I warned you, Y/N. I warned you, but you didn't believe me! And now you're heartbroken because this bitch cheated on you!"
You stared, wide eyed, at Natasha. She seemed so exhausted, like she had just given up. And it killed you to see that. "It's fine," you quickly assured. "I forgive you, Nat. I still love you."
You flinched when Maria banged a fist against the wall, your eyes flashing to her to see the anger on her face. "That's not why we're here, Y/N," she declared. She was struggling to keep her voice even, calm. She clearly didn't want to scare you but it wasn't working.
"It'll always be Nat," you stated and immediately regretted saying it.
Maria released her hold on the weak Natasha, whipping the back of her hand across your face and you screamed as she fell over, limp. Maria wiped her mouth with the same hand she used to smack Natasha as she stepped towards you. "It's time for you to move on, Y/N." She held her arms out, smiling widely at you, a tense smile. "I have done everything to be the one you need. I will show you the love that she could never show you, the loyalty that she doesn't have! You're mine to love!"
You gripped onto the iron bars of the headboard to prevent the ropes from destroying the skin around your wrists even more, one of your hands pulling away when you felt a sharp pain jolt through your nerves. It seemed like one of the iron bars was deformed, split in the back to create a knife-like edge and an idea started forming in the back of your mind.
Maria sighed, clearly irritated with your silence. "You're going to feel the same," Maria promised. "It's her you want, isn't it?" She scoffed pathetically as she forced Natasha back onto her knees, drawing out a knife from her back. She gripped Natasha's hair roughly, pulling back to make her look up as she placed the tip of the blade against Natasha's jaw, a dribble of blood running down where the knife was digging into. "Why did you even think you love her? Is it her looks? I took her hair, I can take her face."
"No, wait!" Maria froze at your words, her head snapping towards you. Natasha made eye contact with you as you sucked in a shaky breath and released it. "You're right, Maria. I… I love you."
"You're lying," she sneered.
You quickly shook your head. "No, no. I'm not." You swallowed a mouthful of saliva, nervous. If you got this wrong, there's no telling what she'd do. "Ever since… Ever since I laid eyes on you on your very first day, in the lobby, I was in love with you. But I was a fool because I thought I was in love with Nat, so I didn't act on the feelings."
Maria released Natasha, the blade withdrawing from her face and you felt relieved. She gripped the knife tightly in her hand as she looked at you, pondering your words. The only thing she wanted was to believe them. She knew the feelings were there, that you loved her as much as she loved you, she just had to force them out of you.
"But there's no reason for you to hurt Nat," you continued, her eyes narrowing at your new words. You licked your lips. "Nobody deserves to die, Maria. You and I, we could just leave her here. We can walk out those doors together and never look back."
"Say it," Maria demanded, pointing the tip of the blade at Natasha again. "I want to hear you say it to her."
You looked at Natasha, your face stoic. "I don't love you, Nat." It pained you to say it, your stomach twisting at the look in her eye. You cleared your throat, and said it again. "I never loved you. I… I love Maria."
Maria breathed out in relief, satisfied that everything was coming together as planned. She should've figured that you wouldn't want her to kill Natasha despite what she has done because of your big heart. She tucked her knife away, Natasha's posture relaxing a bit next to her. She was happy, excited to have your love. The thing she had spent the last two months yearning. She sighed, heavenly, as she clasped her hands together.
"Where do you want to go?" she questioned. "We have the entire world at our fingertips, baby."
She crossed the room and lay down next to you on the bed, leaning down to plant a kiss on your lips, one you had to make yourself to kiss back. It was just like the one in the maintenance closet, rough, forced. It wasn't intimate, but she didn't feel that. She felt like she was in heaven, the warmth of your touch spreading through her skin like a wildfire. And she was ecstatic to know that she could do this any time she wants to now.
She pulled away from you, her eyes still closed and her heart just losing itself in her chest. Her lips formed a big smile on her face as she slowly opened her eyes, looking at you with love, affection, and a bit of a darkness in there that kind of scared you, but you maintained your face.
"I have something for you," she whispered. "I was going to wait until we left this place, but I just can't wait any longer. Stay here." She booped you on the nose before rolling out of the bed, stepping around Natasha's weak form to leave the room. The second the door closed, you slid the rope against the sharp piece of iron, sawing at it.
Natasha was having trouble staying up, her eyes closing for a long moment before she snapped them open. You wanted to tell her that it's going to be okay, that the words you had said weren't at all true, but you didn't want to risk Maria hearing you.
You felt the rope snap underneath you just as Maria entered the room, your hand stilling as if the rope were still intact. You watched as she held up a small box towards you, making her way to you. Her laugh sent chills up and down your spine and not in a good way, sitting on the bed next to you once again and presented you with the small box, a ring box.
She pulled it open and your mouth parted open slightly at the ring sitting inside the velvet cushion, an engagement ring. "This was what Natasha was doing on that day of her unfortunate accident." She was buying an engagement ring, something she couldn't tell you because proposals are always a surprise. "She was going to leave you and propose to her side piece! But I saved you, Y/N. I sabotaged her bike, I tried to help you sooner! But it's better late than never."
It was all clicking into place now. Even with Maria's contradicting words, you saw the truth. The vacation Natasha wanted to go on was where she was going to propose to you. And although she did have a plan in place, if you had won the bet, she would've made it work. Clint knew, that's why he was in such denial that Natasha was cheating on you. Oh, you're an idiot! She wasn't cheating on you!
The ring box snapping shut pulled you out of your thoughts, back to the horrifying present. She tossed it over her shoulder, watching it bounce off the wall, losing it when it skittered across the floor. Maria leaned close to you, a bright smile on her face. "I love you, Y/N."
You stared at her, dazed. You had completely forgotten about your role, still thinking about Natasha's proposal. You didn't realize Maria was losing her smile even though you were looking right at her, clenching her fists tightly together.
"Say it back."
"I love you, too," you instantly said, the smile returning to her lips. You leaned towards her and, not being able to help herself, she met you halfway, her lips connecting to yours in a softer kiss than earlier, but it still twisted your stomach.
Her eyes were closed, using this opportunity to snake your free hand around her waist, under her shirt, and you gripped the handle of the knife tucked in her waistband. The next few moments seemed to happen in slow motion, knowing you had to react fast in order to do this.
You slid the knife out from behind her and drove the blade through her abdomen. She seemed to have known it was coming, feeling the moment the knife was sliding out of her pants and only having a moment to react, moving to the side when you stabbed her to prevent anything major inside of her from getting damaged. It didn't matter, you had injured her, slowed her down.
You pushed her away and she stumbled back, immediately focusing your attention on the hand that was still tied to the headboard. She groaned in pain as she slowly pulled the blade out of her, rushing to untie your restraint to be free. And you had just managed to undo the complicated knot before Maria came back to her senses.
You tried to climb out of the bed, but you felt a hand wrap around your ankle and pull you back to her, dragging you across the bed and flipping you into your back, pinning you to the mattress by laying over you, your hands trapped between your bodies as she held the bloody knife to your throat. You swallowed as she stared into your eyes, her bright blues wild, a fire in there that ignited the pain she was feeling, the anger and betrayal.
"I don't want to hurt you," she expressed through a locked jaw, pushing the blade against your throat. Not hard enough to pierce the skin, but hard enough to keep you from disobeying again. "Please, baby, don't make me hurt you." She ran her free hand across your forehead again.
You gritted your teeth, your hands squirming in between your bodies until you felt the warm, sticky liquid coat your skin, finding exactly where her fresh wound was by the feeling of the blood in your hands. You pushed up against her wound and she screamed out in pain, pushing herself away from you.
You quickly got to your feet, kicking her knees out when she bent down to coddle her wound. She fell to the ground, the knife dropping from her hand. The overexertion caused you to stumble forward, having to use the bed as support as you rounded it to make your way to Natasha. You ungagged her, your hands hovering over her face, wanting to touch her but not wanting to wipe Maria's blood on her.
"Are you okay?"
She breathed out when the rag was removed from her mouth, instantly relaxing under at your words as you moved behind her to untie her hands. The second her hands were free, she rested them on your cheeks. "I love you," she whispered, her hands not being able to stay still. "I would never-"
"I know," you interrupted softly, holding onto her wrists. "I'm so sorry I believed it. I should've known that you wouldn't do that to me." You helped each other stand to your feet, your head feeling warm and fuzzy now that Natasha was back in your arms.
She pulled you out of the way at the last moment, blocking the incoming attack from Maria sneaking up behind you. Natasha, although tired, still managed to block Maria's attempt to stab her, grabbing onto her wrist and pushing her armed hand away from her stomach. You stepped forward, the room seeming to grow into a hallway as you did, but you continued anyway, tracking Maria to the ground.
The knife flew from her hand, sliding under the bed as you landed on top of her. Your knee pushed into her abdomen.
"Nat, go," you pleaded through Maria's screams, but you felt her arms wrap around you, tugging you off the psycho.
"Not without you." She pulled you to your feet, assisting each other out of the bedroom and into what looked like to be a living room, though old age and vacancy made the apartment seem unlivable.
You released Natasha as you stumbled ahead, your hands scrambling to unlock the front door upon reaching it and the wet blood on your hands wasn't making it any easier. You pulled open the door, turning around to reach for Natasha, but freezing when you saw two redheads instead of just the one. You blinked, still having that fuzzy feeling in your head. Were you seeing double?
It took you a moment to realize that no, you weren't seeing double and it was just Maria sneaking up on Natasha. It was definitely the knife raised in the air that made you realize.
"Nat!" The fear in your voice alerted Natasha instantly, spinning around in time to prevent Maria from stabbing the knife in her brain by catching her falling arm. The two redheads struggled as you staggered forward, your vision blurring the women together as they fought.
Natasha managed to throw Maria over her shoulder, letting out a pained sigh as the perpetrator flew into the coffee table. You finally reached Natasha, grabbing onto her wrist and tugging her back to the door.
The door slammed shut behind you as you exited into the hall, looking both ways, trying to decide where to go.
"We need… We need to…" You breathed out as you almost fell forward. You would've fell to the ground if Natasha wasn't there to catch you, but how she managed to stay on her feet with her injuries was beyond you.
"Y/N?"
You had thought you were feeling all warm and fuzzy inside because you had Natasha back, but that wasn't the case entirely. The metallic taste of that water Maria made you drink was still on your tongue. She had drugged you once again. Not to be unconscious, but to be obedient. You wondered how well that worked out for her.
"I'm fine," you said, your words slurring together. You held onto Natasha tightly, but when you heard the door start to open behind you, the two of you hurried down a random direction in the hall.
You managed to round the corner before she stepped out of the room.
"She's mine, Romanoff!" Maria's voice echoed through the abandoned building as the two of you hid around the corner, taking an extra breather.
"Come on," you whispered, shaking the blurry edges away from your vision as you looked at Natasha. "Nat."
She lifted her arm up to grab you, her tank top riding up a little to let you see a sliver of her skin, red covering her stomach. You were quick despite the drugs in your system, lifting up the shirt higher to get a view of a fresh wound. Maria must have gotten a good swing on Natasha during that fight.
"You're bleeding," you whispered.
She grabbed your wrist and tore it away from her shirt, letting it fall back down to cover her stomach. "We'll deal with it later," she said. "Let's go."
You wrapped her arm around her neck and guided her down the hall, both of you stumbling and using the walls as an extra crutch. You were both tired, beaten. And you felt as if you would've just given up if Natasha wasn't here, giving you something to fight for. You could hear Maria calling out for you, her “love", from behind you. And when Natasha stumbled forward without you, she fell to the floor.
Maria was close on your heels, you knew that with how slow the two of you were walking, but when Natasha struggled to get back to her feet, you could hear her voice getting closer and closer as she continued to call out to you.
Natasha waved you off, not even having enough strength to tell you to leave her. Not like you would've done it anyway. And if you couldn't get her to her feet, you had to get her out of the open. The good thing about an abandoned apartment building is that none of the rooms would be locked, pushing open the nearest door and dragging Natasha's body through it.
The door softly closed shut by the time Maria rounded the corner.
You leaned Natasha against the wall beside the door, lifting her shirt once more to eye the knife wound. You had to stop the bleeding.
You looked up at her to see her eyes closed, using a hand to cup her face - getting blood on her was no longer a concern - and shaking her awake. "Keep your eyes opened, baby," you whispered, her green eyes melting into you when her eyes shot open. "Come on, Nat. Stay with me."
She tried to breathe in, faltering with pain, as she said, "I'm not… going anywhere." She sent you a small, weak smile, her eyes sliding close once more until the sound of Maria kicking open doors startled her awake. How did she know you had taken a moment to hide?
You took Natasha's hands and placed them above the wound, forcing her to push down to stop the bleeding. You covered her mouth quickly with your hand to stop her from screaming out. You knew she wasn't going to hold on for long, but it was giving her something to do for now so she wouldn't close her eyes.
You wobbled your way into the kitchen, using the counter as support as you pulled open drawers, searched through the cabinets, desperate to find something to help Natasha all while staying quiet. You whispered under your breath, begging to find anything that could stop her bleeding. You lost your balance, falling to your knees in front of the sink. You pulled open the cabinet in a last ditch effort, feeling a little bit of hope when you saw an old box of trash bags.
You grabbed them, returning to Natasha and ripping one out of the box. Her eyes opened when she felt your presence, moving her hands away and wrapping the trash bag around her, tightening it. It wasn't much, but at least it'd slow the bleeding.
You stood up, preparing to bring Natasha to her feet, but you were thrown back when the door was kicked in right in front of you. Pain shot through your shoulder, making you seethe as you quickly climbed back to your feet. You looked up in time to see Maria march into the room, making a beeline right for you. You tried lifting your arm, but the pain that jolted through your body prevented you from using it, leaving only one arm to fend with.
Maria was swinging her knife in large arches as she neared you, anger behind every swing. "I told you not to make me hurt you, Y/N," she said, her voice surprisingly disappointed for someone who seems so angry. “I don’t want to hurt you!”
She continued toward you, causing you to walk back to avoid getting hit by the blade she was swinging around. You tripped over something, the pain in your shoulder ripping through your body as you fell to the floor, the back of your head greeting it with a thud. You groaned in pain, unable to fight her off of you as she sat on your chest, your breath catching in your throat as she unintentionally put pressure against your shoulder.
"I can't believe you're making me do this to you," she said, sad. Her eyes were coated with unshed tears and you were having a hard time figuring out if they were sad or angry tears. "But you must learn your lesson. You have to know your place, Y/N."
She pulled down the collar of your shirt, pressing the blade against your collarbone. She looked upset as she dug the tip of the knife last your skin, causing you to wince. This was okay. As long as her attention wasn't on Natasha, this was okay.
Blood dripped down your skin as she drew the knife across, leaving a long mark on your chest. It wouldn't leave a scar, it wasn't that deep, but in the moment, it felt like she was marking her territory.
"I'm doing this because I love you," she said soothingly. Your vision blacked out around the edges as she picked up the knife and moved to another location, drawing a second line into your skin. "I'm doing this because I want to protect you."
Tears silently rolled down your cheeks as she continued her torture, the pain in your shoulder and her pinning your arms to your sides left you unable to fight back.
"I'm going to give you a mark for each time you denied your feelings for me." That's going to be a lot of marks. "But don't worry, baby," she said, lightly dragging the blade against your cheek as she shushed you softly, "I won't let them be permanent." She moved the knife back down to your chest, adding a third mark.
You were suddenly able to breathe, Maria being pulled off of you when a trash bag was wrapped around her throat, yanking her back. You fell into a coughing fit, fighting against the pain so you could see Maria tangled in Natasha's legs, pulling the trash bag around her throat as tight as she possibly could. You fell forward when you started walking, using your hands to catch yourself. You made your way to the women, catching Maria's hand in time to prevent her from stabbing Natasha with the knife. You pried the weapon from her hand.
"You might… as well kill… me," she struggled to say through her choking. Natasha eased the strangulation, her legs holding her tightly prisoner. Maria desperately caught her breath, her pink face returning to normal color. "I'm never going to stop until I get you, Y/N," she promised.
You pointed the blade at her as Natasha unwrapped her legs. "Get up," you ordered, but she continued to lay there.
Maria smiled at you. "That drug still in your system?"
You ignored her, Natasha climbing to her own feet and forcing Maria to stand. You blinked, but it seemed like forever for your eyes to reopen. You sighed as Natasha searched her pockets, pulling out a cellphone.
In the moment it took her to pick up the trash bag intended to be used as restraints, Maria ran forward. You didn't have time to react as she ran at you, the knife plunging deep into her stomach when she made it to you.
Her blue eyes slowly dimmed, a smile crossing her features to reveal the blood-stained teeth, a drop of blood falling out of her mouth and down her chin. Your eyebrows pinched together in confusion, your hand leaving the blade of the knife as she leaned forward. "Why?" She didn't have to die.
"I told… you," she breathed, her inhales raspy. "You might as… well kill me. Years without... you is like… death anyway."
She fell to her knees, a smile still on her face as you stumbled back, falling to the ground as she fell forward. The light faded from her eyes, tears streaming down your face. Natasha fell down on her way to you, reaching out to you, but the smile Maria was sending you, even in death, would forever haunt your nightmares.
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17 days after training
The sun hit your skin, warmth flooding through you as the pelicans squawked somewhere in the skies above you. The waves crashed down, people around you enjoying themselves - children making sandcastles, parents too busy taking pictures of the ocean to focus on their spawns, surfers trying to hit the gnarly waves - but the only person that mattered to you, in this moment, just joined you on the blanket.
She planted a kiss on your cheek as she handed you a bottle of water, but you turned your face so you could catch her lips in a kiss, her smile breaking it. She grabbed onto your left hand, bringing it up so she could marvel at the ring resting on your ring finger. You laughed, tugging your hand away from her so you could open your water.
"Why do you keep looking at it, Nat?" you questioned, grinning as you shook your head.
"Because you said yes and it feels like a dream." You laughed again as she crawled to you, locking in another kiss and only pulling a part when you heard a couple children express their disgust at your PDA, causing the two of you to laugh.
The remainder of your recruits graduated training seventeen days ago. Clint came in last, even with both of his recruits, and you had to confess your little lie you had fed his recruits. When he tried to get you disqualified, you used John's information against him and called him out for sabotaging you for years. Natasha came in first, but only because you told John to let Griggs win. You wanted to go on her vacation, see what she had planned.
She proposed a couple nights ago, right in front of the Eiffel Tower, and the two of you enjoyed the engagement phase by spending the nights in between in your hotel room together, tangled limbs in bed. Now, you had decided to greet the outside world once again and enjoy a day on the beach.
After the Maria incident, which took place over a month ago, you took yourself off as a trainer. John Nolan will be your last ever trainee in your SHIELD career. You were strictly sticking to operations. And Natasha grew her hair out, went as far to dye it blonde. You told her she didn't have to, but you were secretly relieved when she came out of the bathroom one day with long, blonde hair over her short, red hair, which is forever ruined thanks to Maria. She couldn't stand looking at herself in the mirror with her old hairdo, not being able to see anybody but Maria.
You still get nightmares about it, though not as much. So does Natasha. Sometimes, you even wake up screaming, but it didn't matter because she was always there when it got bad. Just like you were always there for her. It was hard to get that smiling face out of your head, and you would have gone absolutely nuts if Natasha wasn't here to share the pain with you. She was patient, walking with you every step of the way to recovery. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“What’re you thinking about?” Her voice pulled you out of her thoughts, slowly blinking as you refocused on her face. A small smile rested on her lips, but the look in her eyes told you that she had some sort of idea what was playing on your mind right now. Like a broken record. It was hard not to think about it, the traumatizing moment. You had almost died, she had almost died. You don’t know what you would’ve done if she had died, the doctors at the time didn’t even know how she managed to stay alive after everything was all said and done. She was a fighter and she has the scars to prove it.
“I was just thinking,” you started, pulling her against you and laying down on the blanket, melting into the sand, “about what to get for lunch.”
She rested her head against your shoulder as you held her, staring up into the sky as your fingers played with her blonde strands of hair, your muscles relaxing underneath her weight. She sighed peacefully, content. The love between the two of you is stronger and indestructible. Impenetrable. And you had made a mental promise to yourself that when Natasha says someone has a crush on you, no matter how small, that you were going to steer clear from them. Because you were hers to love, just as much as she was yours.
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha#natasha x reader#Romanoff#romanoff x reader#Black Widow#black widow x reader#clint barton#hawkeye
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Hi, Adrien is handed things on a silver platter whereas Marinette has to work for them.
First thing’s first is just the concept of the love square. Chat Noir gets to interact with Ladybug no matter what because they’re heroes. Ladybug - who carries the weight and responsibility of heroism without getting benefited from it - is required to go to every battle due to her purification ability, and Chat Noir of course is going to show up because he loves both flirting with Ladybug and the freedom of being a superhero.
In addition, Adrien got his miraculous by helping Master Fu up (something that would be expected out of any semi-decent person; by the way, yes, I know the “””significance””” of the action, and it’s silly), whereas Marinette saved him from being hit by a car.
Adrien was allowed back in school with still no explanation from Gabriel (especially since he’s Hawk Moth) as to why he thought it was a good idea to send his son to a school where the very first akumatization had happened. It was Adrien’s goal for the episode alongside making friends, and Nino offered him friendship out of pity when Adrien sulked about how Chloe was the closest thing to a friend he had.
Chat crushes on Ladybug because she stood up to Hawk Moth in a speech dripping with confidence, caught what seemed like hundreds of akuma, and came up with a plan quick enough to save Mylene and Ivan from falling to their deaths from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Marinette (who Chat fell in love with one side of first, mind you, so already this is to his benefit), meanwhile, crushes on Adrien because the narrative gave her a falsehood about him never having any friends (i.e: no Chloe) and he gave her an umbrella while he was ten meters away from his actual ride (like with Fu, again, any decent person--).
Chat’s crush on Ladybug makes things harder for her because it causes him to throw tantrums mid-battle, get distracted and distract her because he’s busy flirting, all of which make her feel guilty for not returning his feelings. Marinette’s crush on Adrien makes things hard for her again because it causes her to embarrass herself while virtually everyone who knows teases/mocks her for it, their opinions of her even being dragged down due to the crush (see Alya with the Lila situation).
Chat is shipped with Ladybug by Parisians everywhere and Alya delighted in taking a picture of them kissing (that got posted on the Ladyblog without Ladybug’s consent). Likewise, the other LadyNoir kiss (that Ladybug had to do to free Chat from Dark Cupid’s control) was shown on live TV for all watching to see. Marinette’s kisses with Adrien, however, were either wiped from the timeline (in which Adrien got to keep a secret from her so he could date “””Ladybug”””) or used to humiliate her because Adrien was attempting a prank.
Ladybug realizes that Chat is in serious about her, not because he told her himself, but because he relayed it to Marinette who happened to be Ladybug. Marinette, on the other hand, has spent 3+ seasons attempting to confess her feelings to Adrien or make advances on him, all of which ended in some form of failure and some of which through no fault of her own.
Chloe shoved her in “Bubbler” (Adrien didn’t even check on her) and then Nathalie crushed the note she’d written on a scarf that Marinette put tons of time and effort into, leading to Adrien thinking it was from his dad.
“Copycat” was accidental and came on too strong, requiring its deletion.
She got distracted by Alya and forgot to write her name in “Dark Cupid,” her letter only further solidifying Chat’s crush on Ladybug.
She kept getting interrupted in “Gamer” after Alya chided her for using the event to get with Adrien (despite Alya doing the same thing for Marinette during the film in “Horrificator” while Mylene was MIA).
She wasn’t able to tell Adrien about Lila’s thievery in “Volpina” because the grimoire had to remain a secret.
The hat in “A Christmas Special” got given away within minutes and then not even brought back on-screen by Miraculous Ladybug (Adrien never even thanked Marinette personally for it).
Kagami came out of nowhere to take the fencing spot in “Riposte.”
Deciding not to make schemes only led to her embarrassment in “Gigantitan.”
She got made fun of and the notes all conveniently looked the same in “Backwarder,” leading to her mixing them up.
The macaron for Adrien (that Marinette would prepare every week) never got eaten by him and ended up causing the akuma after Chloe had emotionally manipulated Marinette into scheming with her.
Practicing on a statue (as per Tikki’s advice) in “The Puppeteer 2″ humiliated her when Adrien revealed himself as the statue.
She was embarrassed during the party in “Party Crasher” because she was pressured into dancing without her consent.
The timeline had to be reset in “Chat Blanc” and she had to lie to her friends that she hadn’t given Adrien the gift even though she’d actually succeeded, while the hat she made just for Adrien got written off as a gift from a random fan (which is an even worse fate than the scarf).
The confession in “Felix” was deleted by Felix himself before Adrien could see it.
And Adrien, meanwhile? Ohhhh boy, lemme tell you about Adrien.
He gets put into suggestive/close positions with Ladybug on many, many occasions, all for “free.”
He got a kiss from Ladybug in “Dark Cupid” that, remember, got photographed and put on live TV.
He got to goad the audience without consequence about he and Ladybug potentially being in a relationship eventually - gaining the knowledge that all of Paris was invested in LadyNoir to thoroughly stroke his ego - and then Ladybug had to act like they were a couple in “Prime Queen” to the point of holding Chat’s hand and saying that they were in love.
Likewise, “Glaciator” featured Ladybug having to act like a couple with him again, now to the point of kissing his cheek, and then Chat got a blush from her after he’d spent a good chunk of the akuma battle pouting that Ladybug didn’t come to the date he set up (that she hadn’t even known was a date because he purposefully withheld that information) despite her telling him that she’d have to see about it because she had plans.
He was reassured in “Anansi” on being “irreplaceable” after he made an unnecessary comment about being replaced by a turtle (Carapace).
He got to carry Ladybug around bridal style and also save her in “Sandboy” and “Reverser” respectively because she was rendered essentially useless without him, then got to save her again in “Frozer” after giving her the cold shoulder for rejecting his feelings.
He’s the one who got told by Marinette’s own parent not to apologize for how he feels in “Weredad” (note that Marinette herself never got this talk from Sabine, nor Tom, which very much could’ve prevented “Crocoduel”).
He got a cheek kiss from Ladybug in “Desperada” after getting to undo the very-much-against-the-rules identity reveal he made to her via Second Chance.
He got to look good in “Gamer 2.0″ when Ladybug was seeking advice from him despite the fact that her and Chat’s situations hero-wise are absolutely, completely, 100% different and he didn’t even try to take that into account.
He got Ladybug resting her head on his shoulder because of what she saw in a deleted time in which he - unbeknownst to her - lied by omission.
A fake Ladybug tried to kiss him on two separate occasions, “The Puppeteer 2″ and “Ladybug,” much to his delight (something to note is that the fake Adrien who went after Ladybug in both “Chameleon” and “Felix” tried to force themselves on her).
He got the “jealousy” moment from Ladybug in “Heart Hunter” and then a hug from Aquabug in “Miracle Queen.”
He received no repercussions for taking Ladybug out on a date (that she wasn’t aware was going to be a date) in “Gang of Secrets,” at best having to apologize for her behavior to the people around them.
He got reassured that Ladybug “couldn’t do this without him” in “Guiltrip,” even to the point of being told that she “probably doesn’t tell him enough.”
He got told by Ladybug that she would never abandon him in “Hack-San” because he was guilting her sulking about how his not knowing her identity would mean that he’d never see her again if she left him somehow.
And before you think this only extends to the romantic aspects of love square, let me tell you now that it definitely doesn’t.
Marinette entered the bowler hat competition and had to defend her own work to the judge.
She ran for class representative and had to earn the trust and faith of her class in “Darkblade” when put up against Chloe’s bribery.
She did whatever she could to make sure Juleka got her picture taken in “Reflekta.”
She had to actually craft a pair of glasses suitable for Jagged Stone in “Pixelator” and then make a gorgeous album cover for him in “Guitar Villain.” (note that this partially led to “Troublemaker” where she was just happily wanting to advertise her parents’ business, and the writers multiplied her Adrien pictures for the sake humiliating her when it was caught on live TV)
She had to work to get ungrounded by improving her attendance in “Simon Says,” because she had been busy being a hero.
She worked to try and get Nathaniel and Marc to get together on a project, knowing it would be good for both of them.
She set up an entire celebration for her bully to try and make said bully feel good about herself in “Malediktator.”
She did Kitty Section’s designs and costumes in “Silencer” and then had to go protect them from being stolen, along with her friends’ music.
She had to wear multiple miraculouses in “Kwamibuster” in order to go against Kwamibuster and get back both the ladybug earrings and the cat ring.
“Gamer 2.0.” Just... “Gamer 2.0.″
She made a whole complex lockbox to protect the Miracle Box in “Gang of Secrets.”
She worked to reach out to Zoe in “Sole Crusher” even after Zoe trashed her in front of the school, going as far as to try and comfort Zoe’s akumatized form.
She had to stand up for the movie to be fixed in “Queen Banana” because no one else would.
She has to work each and every akuma battle as Ladybug, figuring out Lucky Charms that can range from simple to complicated, while simultaneously dealing with a partner who relies heavily on her plans and will occasionally make things harder by either throwing tantrums mid-battle or distracting her.
And meanwhile...
Chat Noir got to throw the blame onto Ladybug for Theo’s akumatization in “Copycat.”
Marinette covered for him in “The Collector” when he was the one who recklessly lost the grimoire by not being careful with it.
He got handed Fu’s identity in “Syren” after whining to Ladybug, throwing blame on her and trying to bribe Plagg so they’d tell him, threatening to quit while Paris was underwater, and all of this while Marinette herself only got to meet Fu because she had the grimoire on her.
He was given the moral high ground in “Malediktator” despite not having to actually care about Chloe enough to call/check on her.
He got to sit back in “Chameleon” and not concern himself with judgment or comment on the situation with Lila, even going into “Ladybug” where he continues to inform no one about Lila (including Marinette, who briefly believed that Lila came to her senses and was willing to make amends) after Lila got Marinette expelled, despite the complete lack of risk on his part considering who his father is and how harshly Lila would be dragged through the mud if she dared to trash his reputation.
He clumsily trips in “Captain Hardrock” in a fashion that reveals an instrument he happens to play, leading to him getting invited to join Kitty Section within seconds of being on the Liberty. (so when Adrien is clumsy, it’s to his benefit, and when Marinette is clumsy, it’s to her detriment)
He never got called out for distracting Ladybug and digging for details that could relate to her identity in “Kwamibuster” (which, again, forced Marinette to do all the work to fix things).
He got a party thrown for him in “Party Crasher” by Nino, and also guys that Adrien had never put forth effort into interacting with or befriending (Marinette had also been through more with all of them sans Nino).
He got to force Ladybug’s favorite traits of his out of her in “Truth” because she was under the influence of Truth’s powers.
He got off the hook for sacrificing himself in “Lies” by flirting about Ladybug’s “irresistible angry little pout,” and also never got repercussions for flirting with another girl while dating Kagami.
He never had to face consequences for smashing a chimney in “Sentibubbler,” even as he was dismissing the gesture because he knew Miraculous Ladybug would fix it.
He didn’t have to apologize for his behavior in “Hack-San,” whereas Ladybug "had to” for telling someone else her identity (the details of why - i.e: that she was having a mental breakdown and needed a release from it - being completely left out) and not telling him that she was leaving (when she literally hadn’t had time to tell him anything; do note as well that Adrien didn’t have to do the same in either “Backwarder” or “Startrain”).
He received no consequences and was in fact rewarded for allowing the akuma in “Wishmaker” to hit him, a choice that Viperion has to live with because it caused him to see both Ladybug and Chat’s identities (meaning now Luka - someone who, like the guys in “Party Crasher” - Adrien has done virtually nothing for - can support Adrien since he knows).
And I could go on, I really could, but my point is that Adrien is given all of the sympathy and sad points while Marinette basically never is. Just like how he was born swimming in money, fame, and adoring fans, the show hands out praises and all the things he’s ever wanted because he’s sad.
He doesn’t have to try. He can whine and complain and vent to Plagg about how “replaceable” he is because the show will mollycoddle him to the moon and back. They’ll put his crush on Ladybug’s shoulders to make her feel guilty while Marinette is over here having to bust her butt just for a chance at Adrien recognizing any semblance of her feelings, and he goes on being blissfully ignorant of them so he doesn’t have to suffer like Ladybug does.
In addition, Marinette has to either be “““making mistakes”““ or embarrassing herself in order to get screen time because the burden of lessons fails upon her, whereas Adrien can be name-dropped without even doing anything.
It’s not just the love square that’s unbalanced, it’s everything between these two. Ladybug is scolded and punished for the slightest act of selfishness while Adrien is encouraged and rewarded for being selfish and demanding things. Marinette has to work to be noticed (and sometimes won’t even get that much) while all Adrien has to do is put on his best sad face and the show will bend over backwards to either give him exactly what he wants or make him the sympathetic one through the narrative.
Even if Adrien had known about Marinette’s crush at the time that Ladybug knew about Chat’s, it wouldn’t matter, because the tipped scales in how they’re treated would still make it so Marinette is the one at fault for “dumping her feelings onto Adrien” while Ladybug is still forced to interact with Chat even if his advances make her uncomfortable.
#((It's a good day to choose violence.))#category: salt#salt: adrien agreste#salt: chat noir#salt: love square#((I probably should've done this in video format.))
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- KINKTOBER DAY 5 - Personal rules are made to be broken, too - [JIN/MC SMUT]
Rating: E
Word count: 894
Relationship: F/M; Jin Grandet/MC (Emma)
Tags: Accidental Stimulation; Sex on Furniture; Size Difference; Making Out; Vaginal sex; Creampie
Check my masterlist here! You can also find all my works on AO3 under user xsycamore. In my profile you can find my Ko-fi if you would like to support me!
Written for my Visions of Temptation Kinktober 2021 challenge. [DAY 1] [DAY 2] [DAY 3] [DAY 4]
DAY 5 - Accidental stimulation + “I suggest you take tomorrow off after what we’re about to do tonight.”
By the third night Emma and Jin call off their duty hours with a drink, she considers changing her overview of the otherwise unhealthy habit.
Being a hardworker should always come with knowing how to blow off the steam - or so Jin says. The cramped Internal Affairs office room has become even livelier with the palace's Belle taking a portion of their paperwork upon herself, in order to have a more in-depth view of their politics. Now, Jin wouldn't exactly call himself a hardworker. He prays that no little birdie would tell on him, about how he suddenly prefers the cramped office over his favorite pub. Although taking the job of being Emma's supervisor would say enough.
"Good work today too, Emma. This calls for a toast."
Jin is already reaching in the cupboard that Yves entitles the only scrap of order amidst the mess and he hopes he won't get on the blonde's nerves for displacing some of the glasses. Nevermind that, Jin prompts conversation on a more casual topic as he pours both of them a whiskey.
It could be that Emma got a sudden thought interrupting as her lips twitch while taking a sip. Jin tries to follow what she's saying, but instead all he can follow is the rivulet of alcohol that escapes the edge of the glass to follow the valley of her chin. Emma chuckles shyly realizing what just happened, and hurries to wipe it away in the back of her hand, no matter how unladylike it would be in the situation. Unfortunately for her, a single drop manages to escape her ministrations and slides down her nape, aimed for the crack in her cleavage.
And Jin is still staring. If he already had to deal with having the hots for Emma ever since she laid a foot in the palace, getting into such an erotic scenario with her definitely doesn't make it any easier for him.
Why it has to be her chest? Out of anything, why his weakest spot?
"Jin, you're staring…"
He knew those words would come, already a handful of things to say are on the tip of his tongue, when he finds a smile on her face.
"I'm- I couldn't help yourself. You're sexy, Emma."
"I'm glad to hear that you think that, Jin." Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she meets his intense gaze.
At this point her own fascination with him must be obvious, Emma thinks, as she wonders if she is imagining the distance between them cutting shorter. She is not. Her eyes fall close as she accepts a long-anticipated kiss by none other but the man she's had her eyes on all this time.
It all goes naturally from there as one thing leads to another but none cares about moving to the bedroom. Even if Jin has to shove a dozen piles of paperwork to the side, making most of them fly across the room in the process, having a clean corner amidst the mess all for Emma and himself is worth it, and more importantly, it's all they need.
“I suggest you take tomorrow off after what we’re about to do tonight.”
There is a certain guilt that comes with liking the thought of that. Emma bites into Jin's shoulder as his shirt falls loose off it. The playful act is one part meant to provoke him, one part meant to help her muffle her moans, because Jin's cock is stretching her out a little too much. Each second he's not busy kissing her to madness Jin spends in ogling every inch of her body that is presented for his eyes - from her blissful expressions, to her breasts bouncing with the impact of his thrusts, down to the place where they're connected. Emma is taking him so good.
"That's it, good girl. Don't tense up, let it go. God, you're so tight, Emma…"
"Nnghh!!" Her world goes white behind tightly shut eyelids as she all but tries not to shout out the name of the man that makes her feel this good. Breathing in deeply as soon as she gets a grip on her senses, she readjusts her hold around Jin's neck as to bring him down closer to her mouth.
"I've been dreaming about this for so long, ahh, Jin! Right there!"
Hearing that flips a switch inside his mind, as he picks up the speed of his hips, pinning her down completely to the desk. Watching her reach her peak triggers his own orgasm, as he makes sure to keep hitting that same spot inside her through it all.
It ends with a kiss as passionate as the one that started their tryst in the first place. Jin's tongue is awfully curious about exploring all there is of Emma's hot mouth, as if wishing put his knowledge to use over and over again. And it's not much different for the rest of her body, as his hands roam upon it restlessly.
All of this is terribly alien to him. Somewhere deep in his mind, Jin remembers about his personal rule that forbids from sleeping with the same woman twice. Meeting her dazed eyes paired with that same shy smile from before, he knows that this rule would be broken the exact moment he wakes up naked by her side the next morning.
Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @leonardoism @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran @thehappycat123 @pumpumnnnp @thesirenwashere @theuwuisunreal @ravenarld @kyokirigiri-22 @kimmy-banana @btarinana @animeworldsposts @randomanimatedhusbandoseeker @galaxyprison @trishtori @sadshaxk @starshards26 @pro-cat-stination @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @judgemental-seal @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @keen19thcenturygoatsstudent @lordsister @ikemen-banshou @toxiicmoron @ikemenlover24 @themysticalbeing @canaria-blackwell Please let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!
#Ikemen Prince#IkePri#Ikemen Prince Jin#IkePri Jin#Jin Grandet#IkePri smut#IkePri fanfiction#VISIONSOFTEMPTATION2021#ikemen prince#ikepri#ikepri jin#jin grandet
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Revamped Rhapsody
double update? who is she? HAHAHA but for real i wanted to release these two at the same time to sort of compensate for being gone for a week. i hope you all enjoy this one too!
im nayeon x idol!reader
disclaimer/s : i had fun writing some good good angst
Words were important to you, it was a part of your passion and your work. Language was something that you'd adored since you were younger but the premise that you always found it a little odd how words could be twisted to mean or imply different things, just on tone and situation alone.
You wouldn't know or understand it was when you were permitted to write your own songs in your company. The blend of different meanings and people made you find a deeper understanding for the words and lyrics of songs. Then when you met Im Nayeon, the only person who could fill your mind and heart with a rhythm that followed the way you fell in love with her.
It began when you met after you entered the practice room she reserved by mistake.
You tapped away at your phone, your bag hanging lazily over your shoulder as you pushed in the door of the practice room. A familiar song that wasn't yours blasted through the speakers. Your head slowly raised as you saw the eldest member of TWICE staring intently at herself as she danced. You'd watched live performances and met once or twice backstage very briefly, but it was a different sensation to see her in her zone. No cameras and no expectations.
'She has a good form...' You thought to yourself, in an awestruck daze. Just as you were about to retreat to find the right room, a sharp thud and a small squeal sliced right past the blaring music from the speakers. You hastily turned around to see the vocalist on the floor, holding her leg.
"Oh gosh, are you okay?" You asked dropping your bag and sliding to her side. When she got over the initial shock, she recognized you. Her celebrity crush. The vocalist blushed and nodded quickly. The sparkle in her eyes as she gave you her iconic bunny smile made your stomach turn in the best way. "Y-Yeah, I'm good!"
A smile graced your lips as you saw the usually confident extrovert awkwardly fidget with her fingers. "You wanna get up or is this whole floor thing a part of your routine?" You joked to which she laughed, shoving your shoulder gently.
"Oh gee thanks, jerk!" You chuckled before getting up and offering your hand to the shorter woman. Once she took it, you pulled her up slowly, making sure she wouldn't tumble over. "Is your leg okay?" Nayeon nodded quickly.
For a second, there's a silence and a pause. You two just staring at each other like you had for years. Like you knew each other in a much deeper way than just idols who shared the same company. There's a point where she thinks that you might just lean in but nothing comes of the inkling.
"Uh, well I should go. Leave you to it..." You rushed as you took your bag from the ground. Turning to face Nayeon then the door then back to Nayeon. "Uh, I'll see you around?" You asked, readjusting the strap on your shoulder.
"I'll be counting on it." You grinned as you left, the lead vocalist running through your head the entire time you were practicing for your latest comeback.
Brushing past each other in the hallway of the company building became more frequent, on some occasion you both even ate lunch together rather than with her group and your managers or other friends. You both became a little more than smitten with each other and wound up dating a couple months after you first met.
Im Nayeon became your inspiration for working hard, to build to become the person you know she deserves. Of course, she thinks you're pretty great. She was your muse, she just hadn't put all the pieces together yet.
When your latest song dropped, of course she listened to it immediately. Then as she listened to the lyrics that you wrote, the way you described the perfect girl for you, how you began to fall in love with this girl, it clicked in her head. Nayeon rushed out of the TWICE's practice room, making the girls look at her with either a smirk or a look of genuine concern.
She sprinted across the building to reach you in your practice room. As the door flung open, your body shifted to the side, immediately smiling as you saw your girlfriend. "Nayeonie, hey what's u—" She pressed her lips to yours, cutting you off in a passionate meeting much to the dismay of your managers who sat behind you both.
Jumping into your arms, you placed your hands under her thighs as you pulled away. The dopey yet confused smile on your face made her giggle again as she placed a series of kisses over your face.
"You wrote a song for me..." You smiled even wider and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Of course I did, Nayeonie..." You paused for a second before adding, "I love you."
The smile on her face mirrored your wide and bright one as she kissed you again. Deeper and overflowing with an intense amount of love. "I love you too, dummy..." She whispered against your lips.
Despite how much you loved each other though, two years into the relationship both of you became extremely busy. Busier than you'd ever been since you were breaking into the international market and as was TWICE. Coming home to each other tired and grouchy. You'd tried to push it further but with one last fight after a long day of taking orders, you called it quits and left her dorm.
Your break-up was the toughest time for both of you, since you'd never gone public, you both had to maintain the happy facade for both your fans. It was particularly rough on you since a lot of the songs you'd been set to sing all the time were about and for her.
She anticipated every one of your songs since it was the only way she could hear your voice. Hearing how you forced yourself to be bouncy and in love with someone. At least she hoped you were forcing yourself.
On the day of your Sponsored Events, the day your latest song was to be performed during the event. The vocalist watched and saw the visible tiredness under your eyes but you still performed your heart out. Then a familiar melody played. One that Nayeon listened to all the time.
It was the first song you wrote about her. Except the lyrics were different. They were sadder, depicting your break-up rather than how you were beginning to fall in love with her. The lively guitar sound of the original was traded in for a softer and more delicate piano instrumental. As she looked at your face and heard the words that fell from your lips, it all came back to her in a wave, making her heart shatter all over again.
The rest of the girls came in after a while to check in on her and opted to stay with her to offer her some sort of comfort.
Nayeon watched your face intently, the ‘idol’ smile that was plastered onto your lips. You didn’t want to be there. She knew that. The interviewer went through a series of questions about your career and finally about the song. Your song for her, both versions. The smile on your face grew tighter, uncomfortably so.
“So two years ago, you released a song that you revamped and performed for us.” The interviewer asked you and you nodded, a dry chuckle falling from your lips. “And you said before that that song was written for a very special girl. What’s the story behind that one?” He pried making your jaw evidently clench. The girls sitting next to Nayeon eyed her carefully as she stared at your tense form. Silently anticipating what you were going to say.
For a moment, you collect yourself. The sadness swirling in your chest again from rewriting the song that you wrote for her. Having to channel all those emotions without crying on national television. You took a deep breath, releasing it with a pathetically winded laugh. “Short of it is that sometimes you need to let go of things to keep them whole. Uh…” You cleared your throat softly. The smile on your face fell a little, a sad and wistful grin left in its place. “Some things just need to happen to make way for better things, I guess.” You finished, the interviewer stunned.
A silence hung over the live feed for a moment. Nayeon and the rest of TWICE waited patiently to see what would happen next. The man leaned forward, propping his elbow onto his knee as he looked at you and asked, “If you could change the circumstances, Y/n…Would you choose to stay with her?” A somber smile on his face as your head upturned a little, eyes red and watery. Without a second thought, you nodded slowly.
Nayeon’s held tears trickled slowly down her cheeks as she held back a soft sob. “If I could…” You took a deep breath, lifting your hand to fan the tears out of your eyes, laughing softly at yourself before continuing. “I would leave everything behind to be with her.” The vocalist’s members had their arms around Nayeon as you spoke. She had pretty much bawled her eyes out as the unspoken confessions left your mouth.
“But I could never do that to her, not after all her sacrifices. I can’t.” Your voice finally cracked as the feed finally cut. The room echoed the eldest’s soft sobs while you did the same on the other side of the city.
okay, so this one was a little wobbly because i was not sober when i wrote this. had a bottle of soju and i'm feeling good HAAHAHH
anyway, i hope you all enjoyed this and remember that requests are open and comments and criticism is completely welcomed! keep safe everyone and i will see you all very soon 😊😁
#twice#twice x reader#twice imagines#twice fluff#twice angst#twice reactions#im nayeon#twice nayeon#nayeon x reader#nayeon imagines#nayeon reactions#nayeon angst#nayeon fluff#girl group x reader#girl group imagines#girl group fluff#girl group angst#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#kpop reactions#kpop idol x reader#kpop angst#kpop#gxg
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Dirty ABCs | Namjoon and Vixen
Pairing: Namjoon x Vixen (OC)
Wordcount: 2.1k
Genre: headcanons
Rating: 18+. Minors, do not interact.
This just me having a little bit of fun in between collabs and commissions with an NSFW alphabet, so I can also get to know my characters better (yes, they're just characters. Do not assume the boys like/dislike any of the things I mention). A new drabble should be out soon, but just in case you missed it, here's Jimin's post-Soowoozoo smut! Please, read the trigger warnings carefully 🥺💖
Here's my masterlist! enjoy!!!! 💜✨
Trigger warnings: cumshots, cumeating, creampie, marking, unprotected sex, switch!vixen, switch!joon, daddy!joon, DDLG, lapdance, stripping, masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, roleplay, homework within a professorxstudent roleplay, positions (doggy, missionary, reverse cowgirl, bend over), intimacy kink (?), bondage (hands tied, gags), impact play, oral sex, oral fixation, biting, casual mention of foot fetish, food play, choking kink, erotic massage, jealousy (kink), sapiosexuality, size kink, mention of infidelity and sharing partners, mention of outdoor sex, sex toys (dildo, vibrator, manacles, cockring, paddle, buttplug), edging, orgasm denial, orgasm control, overstimulation, BDSM club, uhm...bicuriosity ig?, thickdick!Namjoon, bubblebutt!Vixen impressive sex drive (?)
Aftercare: Namjoon is the kind of guy who’d gladly collapse in bed after some good, nasty fucking. He puts plenty of energy in it and he isn’t content until he’s barely alive before calling it a night. Yes, both him and Vixen need to force the other into heading to the bathroom and cleaning up before falling asleep. When he goes especially hard on her, aftercare becomes a way to relax for both of them: he needs to pamper her to even things out, and she in return likes spoiling him, giving him cuddles, letting him fall asleep with his head on her chest while she strokes his hair. Yes, his favourite cuddle is her touching his hair and chatting about how they felt during sex.
Body part: He most definitely has a thing for legs, hips and ass. Vixen is all about his chest and arms — but, truth is she’s absolutely crazy about his neck.
Cum: He either cums inside or on Vixen’s ass. No other alternatives for him. He hates cumming in her mouth, mostly because her cunt is soooo much better to him; and then again, that means he can eat her out right after — or mark her up and shove his cum back inside. Vixen is a fan of him cumming inside, she’s pretty much traditional about this.
Dirty secret: Namjoon loves when Vixen doms him. He’d never admit that out loud but he’s praying for her to tie him up and strip for him before performing a lapdance and fucking herself with that glass dildo he bought her… He’ll just wait… hopefully… Vixen wants Namjoon to give her homework on some impossible topic and then punish her for every mistake she makes while he’s dressed in a suit and glasses.
Experience: We know all about Joon’s and Vixen’s bodycount. Joon had four, possibly five partners, one of which broke his heart. He wasn’t entirely vanilla with them, but Vixen is most definitely the spiciest he’s been with — and the most rewarding. Vixen had two partners before Namjoon and her first boyfriend was way more experienced than Namjoon is, but that is not an issue to her. She knows if she ever asked him, they could try out pretty much anything.
Favourite position: Namjoon is mostly about doggy and missionary. Doggy for enthusiastic fucking with that teenage eagerness that characterises them both. Missionary when he needs to make love to her slow and steady — though he admits Vixen on top of him in reverse cowgirl is also a hot topic for him. Vixen likes good old missionary since she likes Namjoon’s body shielding hers. She also enjoys bending over for him — especially on the back of the sofa.
Goofy: neither of them is that goofy when it comes to sex. For them is a moment to get rid of tension and gain more intimacy. It’s a moment of communication and connection, and a very spiritual one at that. There might be little giggles and laughs here and there when they’re in a playful mood, but even then they’re more happy than goofy.
Hair: Namjoon trims his hair slightly, just to keep things neat and tidy. Vixen used to shave at the beginning of their relationship. She waxed a few times, to try something different and to feel Namjoon’s tongue better when he goes down on her. She switched to trimming when she found out Namjoon enjoyed a more natural look.
Intimacy: Nothing isn’t intimate between these two. Brushing their teeth together before going to bed? Religion. Getting dinner ready? A ritual. Making love? Therapy. Fucking like gorillas? Relief. These two share one single soul. They’re each other’s temple, and their bedroom is their church.
Jack off: These two? Masturbation galore. They’re the literal proof that being in a relationship should never stop you from taking care of yourself. They masturbate together while they watch porn, they masturbate to the sight of the other one doing it or just watching them. Namjoon is a huge fan of watching Vixen touch herself. He can do it with his hands tied, untied, or stroking his cock. He really doesn’t care as long as he can watch. Plus the fact that the wall dividing his bedroom from the shower is made of glass really gives him the best view when he has morning wood and Vixen is washing herself. And that goes both ways. She likes watching him while she showers, putting on a bit of a show. Vixen also likes watching Namjoon masturbate, though she prefers putting her hands on him. And Namjoon prefers her hands to his own, especially since she’s so fucking good at that.
Kink: We all know these two are the resident DDLG freaks. Other than that Namjoon suffers from a pretty severe case of voyeurism. On the side, all giving, we have oral fixation, impact play, marking, biting, cumplay and cumeating, and a very mild, very experimental foot fetish. He’s also into roleplay, especially regarding school/university environments. To that, we need to add on Vixen’s end exhibitionism and food play, and then, all giving, choking kink, exhibitionism, bondage and gags, erotic massage.
Location: these two need someplace private, since they can’t get in the mood unless they’re 200% sure they can take their time and relax and be as loud as possible. Namjoon would never stand the idea of them getting caught: he needs to protect Vixen. And Vixen would never try something in public. She knows he’d be too focused on the possible dangers to properly enjoy the experience. That doesn’t mean that they don’t tease each other in public. Vixen likes when they talk dirty in public so once they get home Namjoon rips her clothes off her.
Motivation: Namjoon gets turned on whenever Vixen looks incredibly refined and elegant, completely out of his league. Pair that up with someone flirting with her and he goes out of his way to remind her why she got his ring on her finger ten months after they first met. He also gets hot under the collar when he’s reminded of how fucking smart she is; that makes him both proud and horny. On a baser level, she just needs to grind against his thigh, rub her ass on his crotch, kiss his neck or suck his fingers to make him instantly hard. Vixen gets horny very easily when she sees him exercise power — which happens pretty often with him being the leader. Also watching him tower over someone who isn’t her makes her a little volatile — that’s her daddy, he’s her protector.
No: easy. Sharing. Even simply her moans being overheard by someone would make him nervous. Once he used to share everything about his sex life with his friends, but after he and Vixen got engaged, everything involving her without clothes on became a 100% restricted topic. He still happens to talk about sex with his friends, but he must be in need of desperate help in order to share details. Vixen agrees on sharing being a hard no. She also thinks doing stuff in public is absolutely a hard no: she’s far too attached to her job to risk a scandal ruining it. And of course she would never stand Namjoon’s career and reputation going downhill.
Oral: Both fans, Namjoon both on the giving and receiving side, though he prefers giving by far. Vixen is also a fan of receiving. If Namjoon weren’t so damn intimidating, she would enjoy giving more, too.
Pace: depends on the mood. Playful or angry? Then he’s fucking her like she’s nothing but a cocksleeve, straight up jackhammering his way in. Loving and emotional? Then they’re going slow and steady so they can feel every inch of their flesh meeting and parting and squeezing and squelching and sliding.
Quickie: yes, but not excessively. Vixen can only consider a quickie as a form of foreplay. There’s no way to satisfy her unless at least two rounds are involved. Namjoon is more than happy to take his time with her. If they don’t have that much time, they prefer masturbating together — quick, efficient, delectable.
Risk: No? The only risk he would take would be fucking her out in the open, but someplace where the possibility of getting caught is lower than 0.1%. He’d book super secluded villas for their holidays and fuck her until she’s begging him to give her a break.
Stamina: Namjoon hasn’t got too much stamina and Vixen doesn’t either, they just deprive and tease each other when they want to make it super special, otherwise they would be lazy and take naps in between a round and another. And they can truly deal with that brilliantly since they are great at foreplay and that makes up for their rather weak stamina.
Toy: These two are shameless about their toys. Vixen has a thing for dildos, and Namjoon loves spoiling her with those. She has a couple vibrators too, but she’s not that much of a fan: she has a practical one, when she needs things done quick and easy and another one that looked way too cute for her not to have it. In addition to that, they have manacles, a cockring, a paddle and a quite interesting plug.
Unfair: Being with Namjoon is all about the pleasure. He’d much rather overstimulate Vixen rather than deny her. Also because he has very poor control over his instincts and he can’t deny himself. He would tease, edge or deny Vixen only to punish her and make sure that she actually reads that as a punishment and not as some sick way for her to get exactly what she wants (aka spanks). Vixen is more on the teasing side, and she enjoys controlling Namjoon’s orgasms, but she’s very fair. They like to play dirty, but they make sure everyone gets what they need.
Volume: Namjoon is all about low and deep. His moans, groans, growls and grunts all come in a very quiet, although very eloquent way. He prefers keeping it quiet so it feels more intimate. Vixen on the other hand is very vocal, especially when Namjoon goes down on her or is trying to overstimulate her. She’s still considerate about the people living next door, but at the same time, she has a thing for doing it in the studio so she can be as loud as she wants, much to Namjoon’s — and his private tracks’ — chagrin.
Wild card: if it weren’t for his jealousy and his position, Namjoon would love to fuck Vixen in a room full of strangers, just to show how good he can make her feel, and to enjoy just how deranged she would get once adrenaline started kicking in. Claiming her in a semi-public context would help him sate his possessiveness for a good while. Vixen instead would love to go to a BDSM club with Namjoon and watch scenes from other people — maybe, potentially, join? — she most definitely wishes she had done stuff with a girl before getting with Namjoon.
X-Ray: Namjoon is packed. Length is not exceedingly more than average. But match that with more than impressive girth? That’s a wild ride. It most definitely takes a stretch. Vixen has rather small boobs — but she’s more than stubborn to make up with a full, round bubble butt.
Yearning: at the beginning they go pretty wild. Vixen is used to getting at least an orgasm before falling asleep — every night. Of course that tones down once she gets with Namjoon, especially since she learns to prefer quality over quantity and he refuses to get stuff done in ten minutes. She easily slips into a two to three times a week regimen, but deprive her for longer than ten days and she’ll feel neglected. Of course she’d take care of herself, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t start drifting away as she’d feel emotionally neglected too. Namjoon considers himself happy as long as he can have a full weekend of fucking: he tends to cram all the sex in days where he can relax since during the week he’s often too tense to initiate anything sexual. But he wouldn’t deny it if the fancy struck him.
Zzz: He falls asleep like a bear. He goes positively lethargic the moment he hits the bed after cleaning up. Vixen finds it extremely endearing. She usually takes longer, but not too much. She likes cuddling him while he’s sleeping.
#Namjoon x vixen#namjoon headcanons#namjoon x reader#namjoon smut#namjoon alphabet#kim namjoon smut#kim namjoon scenarios#namjoon x yn#bts headcanons#bts headcanon
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What would be the best time in the books for the Jasper/Bella path to happen? Is there a particular moment in the books that you have in mind that with a couple of changes, could lead to the timeline where Jasper/Bella happens? Any particular moment where Edward's being his worst, Edwardiest (lol) self with Bella, and the change could be Jasper happening upon this and realizing that hey, something isn't right here?
Thoughts on Jasper/Bella.
Well, anon, you're almost asking me to write a fic here. The answer is with enough elbow grease and prose, a good author can convince their readers of almost anything, including the validity of Bella/Jasper wherever they see fit. So, I think this would be up to the individual author.
But if you're asking my opinion then I suppose I can put on my outlining hat and see what comes out.
Note that here I assume I'm not playing dirty and that we're going with canon as how I interpret it. So, no changing Bella on the side or Jasper on the side to make this work.
Muffin Chooses a Point of Canon Divergence
There's a couple places more obvious than others to me.
New Moon
Edward leaves, abandoning Bella, and she becomes an utter ruin who has to build herself up from the ground up without Edward's help. By the end of the novel, right after she jumps off the cliff, she comes to realize Edward will never come back and she has to move forward (coincidentally, Alice comes back right at that moment and Bella can shove that thought out the window).
In canon, it's Jacob's friendship that helps Bella build up the pieces. But their relationship had its very rocky moments as well, notably the period where Jacob also appears to abandon her.
This is where Jasper could come in.
I do think Jasper would leave. He has no reason to stay and given his overwhelming guilt over what happened, he wouldn't want to. Any attempt to force that would just be OOC ridiculousness.
However, there is the question of "What about Victoria?" In canon, Jasper ends Twilight thinking she'll be out for revenge and that they should not have let her get away. They're going to regret that. However, I imagine he thinks she'd be after the coven rather than Bella, especially after they leave Bella, and it's not really his business.
And he wants to go with Alice, especially as she's on this journey of personal discovery that is bound to be extremely painful. He didn't abandon her in the middle of that in canon.
However, here's where we can diverge. Jasper and Alice's relationship is an utter disaster, and more Jasper is wracked with guilt over what happened. He could hear from Edward that Edward lost track of Victoria and is now bumming around uselessly in Rio. Jasper might consider it his personal responsibility to take out Victoria, as a means of making amends not only to an unwitting Bella but to Edward whose love life he ruined.
Alice approves, as this might help improve Jasper and Edward's relationship and she feels awful over Bella as well, and tells him to get gone. She can do this self-discovery thing on her own. Jasper's not exactly happy about that but he goes and lo and behold, his search brings him back to Forks.
Where he happens to show up right around the point where Jacob has been ordered to cut all ties with Bella. If the fates are really with us, Jasper's the one who murders Laurent.
Bella's overjoyed to see him, tells him what Laurent just told her, and Jasper realizes that "Oh shit, Victoria's after Bella." Well, he can't interrupt Alice's journey and he doesn't want her in harm's way, so he has to call up the other family members to keep an eye on Bella while he goes hunting.
Bella nearly vomits in terror at the idea of having to face the Cullens after their rejection and Jasper realizes this girl has some deep, personal, trauma to work through.
Trauma is worked through, dirty secrets of Edward's are slowly revealed, Alice's dirty secrets are also slowly revealed (in just how much she knew/how much she enabled comes out), the newborn army thing probably happens and the Volturi show up and also turn Bella as Jasper's excuse was that he personally couldn't do it, Edward eventually shows up scary as hell which Alice enables, and Jasper realizes Alice wasn't what he thought she was while Bella realizes the same with Edward.
Betrayal is the word of the day here but eventually this could lead to Jasper and Bella finding solace in each other.
Breaking Dawn
Bella is pregannant and has her first terrifying disagreement with Edward where she actually has to protect herself and her child from him. If anything was close to breaking Bella out of her romantic fantasy: it was Edward in Breaking Dawn.
Now, in Breaking Dawn, Bella turns to Rosalie due to her knowledge of Rosalie's past. Had she not heard Rosalie's story, she would have had to turn somewhere else and I doubt Rosalie would be her first thought.
She might choose Jasper due to having protected her in Phoenix that one time and being a very competent and scary fighter. If she does, Jasper is faced with the heady responsibility of having to protect this pregnant woman from her husband while knowing that he may have to very well murder her child when it's born.
He's going to be an utter mess.
However, he'll pull through and have to make increasingly awful calls as tension keeps wracking up. Something has to be done about Edward, about Jacob, about the wolves in general, about Bella's health conditions, about the Volturi who are watching for any slip.
Due to this new position of responsibility, and due to how much Edward loathes Jasper, Edward probably won't be in the picture when Renesmee is born. Bella is devastated as her husband has left her, even when their daughter turns out to be beautiful. Then, of course, there's the Irina disaster. In canon, Jasper and Alice leave to go on a quest to find Nahuel (though also, perhaps, to get out of dodge on the off chance they don't find a miracle in South America). In this world, Jasper sees Bella who is utterly broken, and he can't do it. He can't leave with Alice.
This breaks them apart as I imagine Alice has a Drusilla type vision in which she dumps Jasper before he can dump her. It's an utter mess.
Bella/Jasper can be made to happen though.
#twilight#twilight meta#twilight headcanon#twilight shipping#twilight renaissance#bella swan#jasper whitlock#bella/jasper#meta#headcanon#opinion#shipping#ludicrousloopylozza
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And Dusk
A/N: Just a heads up, the sensitive content in this chapter will be marked "<<<<<<" as the beginning and ">>>>>>" to signify the end. The racial slurs used in this chapter were targeted towards African Americans (and still are) and I chose these because I, myself, am African American and used them as a sort of “default” for any POC readers. ⚠️Please, never use these towards anyone. Whether it be in a “joking” manner or not. They are hurtful and were created to be that way⚠️ I wrote this chapter the way I did to bring awareness. Proceed with caution. Much love ❤️
Warnings: ⚠️racial slurs⚠️, violence, mentions of guns and dying/death
Word Count: 3707
—————————————
Chapter 3: The Frankel Footage
Shaking himself out of his shock, Five stood from his seat and hurried after his brother, grabbing onto his arm and stopping his strides. “The hell is wrong with you, Luther? I just told you the world’s gonna end in ten days!”
“Yeah, well, you’re always saying that.” Luther nonchalantly spoke before moving away, but Five intervened yet again.
“And so far, I’ve been right.” He hissed as Luther sighed and shook his head.
“Look, you want to go save the world? Knock yourself out, alright? I already got a job.”
“Wait, you work in this shithole?” The boy furrowed his brows.
“Yeah. Well, my boss owns the place,” Luther only received a nod from his brother, so he clarified. “I’m his body man.”
But this only made Five even more confused. “What’s that? Like, a masseuse or something?”
“Okay, you can make fun all you want, but I take good care of Mr Ruby.”
“Wait, Ruby. The Jack Ruby? The gangster who shot Oswald.”
Despite Five’s concern, Luther proudly smiled a smug smile as he glanced over at his boss. “Yeah. The one and only.”
“Well, it finally happened,” Five sighed. “That gorilla DNA has finally taken over your mind-”
“Hey, watch it, alright? Jack’s a good friend-”
“And you’re Number One. Numero Uno. Remember?”
Luther clenched his jaw and shook his head. “There is no Number One. Not anymore. Not in 1963,” When Five stared at him in disbelief, Luther sighed again. “Look, I’ve been stranded here alone for a year. What did you expect?”
Five scoffed. “I get it, alright? You watched Pogo die, the world exploded, and I marooned your big dumb ass in time. I’m sorry, okay? But I’m asking for your help, Luther. The Umbrella Academy needs you.”
“It doesn’t need me,” He slowly spoke to draw out his words. “It never did.”
“Luther, honey,” The waitress from earlier approached the two. “Jack’s about to lose it on some half-wit. A little help?”
“Ah, shit,” He groaned and began walking away. When Five tried yet again to stop him, he whirled on him, his lips pulled into a thin line. “Listen. You’re the genius who said we should jump, right? You’re the one who got us stuck here. And you’re the one who brought Vanya. So, if there is a doomsday coming, she’s probably the cause. And if I was gonna do something about it, it sure as hell is not gonna be with you. That’s (Y/N)’s job, being dragged around into your messes-”
“I don’t drag her into anything.” Five swallowed, blinking rapidly.
“Yeah? Well, she wasn’t stuck as a thirteen-year-old and constantly worrying about her kids until you showed up. I’m surprised she isn’t sick of you yet.” And with that, he stomped away to his boss. This time, Five let him go, his words sending a pang through his chest as he thought back on it. Grabbing his drink, he sighed and shook his head.
“Dad should’ve left him on the moon…” He muttered, taking a sip of his drink before moving to leave his seat. When he felt his jacket snag on something, he looked down to see an object in his pocket. Taking out the tape, he frowned and turned it over.
Date: 11/22/63
Subject: FRANKEL FOOTAGE
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
This world was unfamiliar to (Y/N). She knew she had to have been somewhere in America, but she didn’t know where. The cars, fashion and stores bringing the street she walked to life told her she had to have been in the sixties. But she didn’t want to believe it. Surely Five hadn’t time travelled that far? She had to have been dropped during some type of sixties-theme festival. But the voices suddenly beside her quickly prove her doubts wrong.
“What do we have here?”
“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a lost little colored girl.”
Tensing, (Y/N) continued her way down the sidewalk, slightly speeding up her pace, but the men fell into step beside her with ease, flanking her sides.
“You’re on the wrong side of town, girl.”
“Yeah, we don’t like coons around here.” One of them hissed right in her ear. Her eyes welled up with tears before the other shoved her forward.
“Gon now, get!” He ordered as if she were a dog. She realized that’s how they had seen her. An animal. Nothing more. Tripping on a crack in the sidewalk, she fell to the ground, smacking her face on the concrete. She choked out a sob as the two men cackled. And to make matters even worse, she felt the pitter patter of raindrops start to freeze her skin.
(Y/N) gasped out in shock when the men spit two wads of saliva in her face. She knew she must’ve looked a mess with spit and tears sliding down her cheeks and blood oozing from her nose. She hiccupped on her sobs and began to stand, much too tired from her previous fight with Vanya and literally being dropped from the sky to successfully do so. The men backed her up against a wall and one fisted the front of her vest before a voice called out.
“Take your hands off of my child!” Whipping around, the men were half expecting to find another target, but (Y/N) coughed and sputtered nonsense upon the person her gaze fell upon.
“M-Mom…?”
Before her was Grace, but… she wasn’t robotic in any sense. She could tell by the raw anger etched into her features. She took a brave step forward. “I said. Take your hands. Off my child.”
And that was another thing: her accent. (Y/N) was immediately comforted by the stern southern accent the woman shared with her attackers. It was a voice she never thought she needed. The two looked between Grace and (Y/N) with smirks. “You mean this lil ol’ jigaboo-”
“Is my daughter. Now you let her go before I call the police.”
“Woman, I don’t care if you call the police-”
Grace took it upon herself to step closer and grab the child by her arms, yanking her into her warm embrace. (Y/N) immediately latched onto her, quivering in her hold. The men scoffed and shook their heads, beginning to walk away. “Make sure to keep that thing on a leash if you’re gonna have it out, ma’am.”
“Oh, fuck off.” She growled before turning and walking back in the direction the girl came from. As they walked past the alleyway, Grace took out a handkerchief and began wiping the girl’s face clean of what the raindrops hadn’t already washed away. “It’s alright, hun, they aren’t gonna hurt you anymore.”
“T-Thank you.” (Y/N) sobbed and gently held her nose in pain. Grace crouched in front of her and gently held her face in between her hands.
“Don’t thank me, darlin’, it’s how everyone should be treatin’ you ‘round here… Where are your parents? I could take you to ‘em.”
(Y/N) thought for a long moment, watching as the rain soaked Grace’s hair and clothing. The woman didn’t seem to mind as she watched the girl before her swallowing thickly. (Y/N) skimmed over her current choices. She didn’t have any choice.
“I don’t have parents. I-I don’t remember them…”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
“I’m tellin’ you, Reggie, she’s highly intelligent for a child her age.” Grace proudly presented (Y/N) to the man she had grown fond of over their time working together. (Y/N), however, was frozen in her spot. Sir Reginald Hargreeves. The man whose death she had wished upon for years, whose death had finally graced her existence, was back in her life. She flinched at the disapproving look on his face, much too acquainted with it by this point in her life. “And she’s very respectful. Talented, too, this girl can speak several languages.”
“You seem rather fond of this child.” The man observed as Grace squeezed her into her side.
“She’s my pride and joy.”
“And you cannot remember anything of your past, child?”
“N-No,” (Y/N) shook her head and stared down. “Not a lot. J-Just my name and birthday.”
Reginald hummed and stared her down with an unreadable expression. When she met his eyes again, he was crouched down to her level, his monocle clutched in his fist. “(Y/N), was it?”
“Yes.”
“It would be an honor to have your presence within my home, along with your mother.”
“O-Oh, that’s okay-”
“I insist. Besides, you have been living with her for almost half a year, correct? It is highly unlikely that she will share a home without you.”
“He’s right about that, hun,” (Y/N) glanced up at Grace, who was smiling warmly at her. “I’m not leavin’ you.”
(Y/N) could have cried.
And she did.
One year later, (Y/N) had been living quite the comfortable life with Grace and Reginald. She had been introduced to the ape, Pogo, for the second time since Grace first started working with him. As much as she loved being around the chimp, it brought back so many memories. She almost felt silly, looking after him sometimes knowing he had done the same for her in the original timeline.
Her relationship with Reginald was nothing she ever expected. He was gentle, well as gentle as Reginald Hargreeves could get, he cared for her, spoiled her, even. She wouldn’t have to ask for anything half the time. If he were to overhear a conversation between her and Grace about a dress she oh-so wanted, it would suddenly be laid out on her bed the next day. She usually had a say in dinner meals every Thursday and Sunday and Reginald listened intently whenever she would voice any discomfort or concerns with her living conditions. (Y/N) never had a real father, but she assumed this is what it was like to have one. She never wanted to let go of it.
For her birthday in 1963, she was surprised that he had actually gotten her a present. As she entered the parlor, she was met with the tiniest bark and an even tinier golden retriever, bounding up to her. She gasped and stopped low, letting him jump into her arms. She let him lick her face and giggled in the joy it brought her.
“Your mother said you would like it. Though I would never allow dogs in my house, I have come to understand that there are rules I must bend for you, my child.”
(Y/N) turned to her father. Yes, father. Reginald, also growing quite fond of their father-daughter bond formed between them, decided to adopt the girl. As much as his beliefs and his deep distaste for children protested. There was just something about this child. Or perhaps it was Grace’s insisting, reassuring him that he would make a wonderful father. (Y/N) was very hesitant at first for her own reasons she never shared, but eventually came around to the idea of being his daughter again.
This was the same Reginald Hargreeves who locked her in a dark room for five days straight, but also an entirely different man. Perhaps it was her fascination with the differences, or maybe she just wanted a real father for once.
“Thank you, Dad.” She softly smiled, the man nodding in response.
“But this is your pet, (Y/N). It is your responsibility. I will not find it in my study, in my bedroom, you are to train it yourself-”
“Can you-”
“And no, I will not help you pick out its name.”
The girl softly groaned and looked back down at her new puppy. Looking into its eyes, she smiled softly at a distant memory as a small child.
“Welcome to the family, Mr Pennycrumb.”
-------------------------------------------------
(Y/N) groaned when she felt the sunbeams of the early morning sunrise hit her eyelids, coloring her black vision with the stinging fire of orange. Rolling onto her other side, she stretched her blanket over her head. They were yanked away the next second, causing a whine to leave her lips. “Mom… Five more minutes.”
“I let you sleep in long enough, hun, it’s time to get up. You have a date with Preston this afternoon.” Grace gently pulled her daughter to sit up, giggling quietly at her look of disgust.
“Preston? Seriously?”
“Yes, seriously, let’s get goin’.” Grace patted her leg and walked to her door, waiting patiently. (Y/N) sighed and rubbed her face, letting her feet slide into her slippers. As they descended the stairs to the kitchen for breakfast, Reginald could hear his daughter’s sleepy complaining from his place at the table.
Setting his utensils down, he turned his head in their direction. “My child, how many times throughout each week must we have to repeat this conversation?”
“Until it starts making sense.” (Y/N) stepped into the dining room, now in her robe, and crossed her arms over her chest. Reginald sighed and stood from his chair at the table.
“You are one of my greatest accomplishments,” He began towards her. “There is no doubt in my mind that you would make a fine successor. I do not believe you will need a husband. In fact, you would be better off without another individual holding you back from what you are truly capable of.”
“But?” She raised a brow.
“But… I have grown to know you more than I expected… and I know that you would need someone to help manage your finances you inherit once I am gone. Preston is a fine young man who was born into this life, made into this life. He will take good care of you.”
(Y/N) knew there was only one person in this world who would truly take good care of her. But he wasn’t here, and she needed to play the part as the amnesiac adopted daughter, so she huffed and nodded. “Fine… I’ll go…”
“Thank you-”
“But only if Mr Pennycrumb can go, too.”
“Very well, but you will not be gifted another animal if you lose it.”
The outing wasn’t entirely bad. (Y/N) didn’t mind the picnic or the art museum, it was the company that made her blood boil. Preston is anything she would have expected out of him. This had been their seventh date, tenth of the ones he planned. (Y/N) sought out any opportunity she could to cancel on him to save herself from the unbearable three hours she would have to spend with the kid. He was arrogant, smug, selfish, narcissistic, and overbearing. Of course, this was not the Preston he presented to her parents. No, to them, Preston was ‘a fine man with a bright future ahead of him’, or as Grace would put it, ‘a delight to have around’. He laughed like a drunk, talked like a husband, and smelled like a man. All at the age of fifteen. (Y/N) had to remind herself on several occasions that she was mentally the older out of the two and to not stoop to his level when he got under her skin.
“Don’t you think, (Y/N)?” The voice brought her attention back to the boy beside her. She looked up from the grass they had been strolling through. When she hummed in question, he amusedly scoffed and side-step closer to her. “Never mind. I should have known you wouldn’t have been interested in politics.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” The girl raised a brow. At her confusion, he laughed and gently tapped the side of his head.
“You’ve always got that head of yours in the clouds. Or turned behind you- like right now.”
(Y/N) turned her head away from where she had been looking over her shoulder. “What? Sorry, Preston, I’m a little preoccupied today.”
“With what, exactly? You don’t seem to be the type of girl to have very many issues. Nothing to worry about.”
“And you wonder why I don’t listen to you.” She sighed as her puppy ran in between her legs, rolling in the grass once he was a few paces in front of them. Preston frowned in distaste and shook his head.
“You should really keep that thing on a leash, sweetheart.”
She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, clenching her teeth as she folded her hands behind her back. “Really now?”
“Really. You know, I’m not very fond of dogs, so I’m not sure how it’ll work out once we’re married. I think we should get one after we have kids, you know? Just so the kids could grow up with it.”
(Y/N) quickly turned her head to the left, pointing out across the street. “Preston, would you look at that?”
“Look at what?” He gullibly looked in the direction, (Y/N) quickly checking the area before almost silently singing her tune. From her shadow, her clone formed and robotically walked behind the two. She quickly switched spots with it and ordered the clone to walk with Preston before scooping her puppy into her arms and rushing off in the opposite direction. Once she was behind a diner far away from their date location, she let out a sigh and gently patted her dog on the head.
“Were you sick of it, too?” She chuckled. Resting the back of her head against the brick wall she leaned on, she let out a slow breath and began to relax. The sound of guns cocking had her head snapping up so fast, she swore she could have dislocated it. Just down the end of the line of stores were three white-haired men, one in a milkman uniform, training their guns on her. (Y/N) didn’t waste a second tucking her dog in front of her and spinning around, charging down the opposite direction as bullets whizzed past her. She dodged them the best she could, jumping a few feet in the air at the ones that threatened to take their place in her feet. It was like a dance; the twisting, spinning and jumping, and she was to perform this dance until one of those bullets killed her if she didn’t find a way out soon. Sliding to the side of a clothing store for cover, she gently shushed her pet as she caught her breath.
The three sets of footsteps eventually found their destination and rounded the corner with skilled quickness, shooting at the girl until she was nothing more than a bloodied corpse on the ground, bullet holes lodged in almost every inch of her body. The three men nodded to each other and turned around, making their way out from behind the stores.
(Y/N) had already been down the street from her house by the time her attackers found the clone in her place. She couldn’t have been bothered to check herself for any wounds, too worried about Mr Pennycrumb’s potential bullet wounds. But the pup was perfectly, happily nuzzling into her arms and wagging his tail. This left (Y/N) to ponder.
Who the hell were those men?
-------------------------------------------------
“Is it on?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know? There’s an ‘on’ button. Just- There’s something over- that jigga-ma-thing, whatever.”
“I hit the jigga-ma-thing!”
“Okay, well, just- Give it to me. I know how to do this.”
“Alright, here, here. Hurry up.”
“Okay, alright, let’s see…”
Lila didn’t look up from her task of painting poor Elliott’s toenails, his bindings he received after threatening the trio with a gun preventing him from moving too much. Which was beneficial to her, as it kept her from ruining the paint job. She softly smiled as she listened to the argument between the elderly couple on the film Five and Diego were intently watching. “They’re so cute,” She commented. “I love old couples. I’m always so proud of them for not murdering each other.”
Ignoring her, Diego turned to his brother from his seat on Elliott’s counter. “Why are we watching this?”
“Shush.” Five replied, eyes trained on the film before him, searching for any clue to the approaching apocalypse, brows furrowed in concentration.
“Yeah, I… I’m Dan Frankel. And…”
“I’m Edna Frankel.”
“...Edna Frankel. We are in Dallas, Texas, to see the president. Today’s date is November 22, 1963.”
Five nodded as everyone’s attention was brought to the projected screen before them.
“That’s six days from now.” Lila spoke as Elliott thrashed about more against his bindings. Diego sat forward in interest.
“Holy shit. This is it. The grassy knoll. Kennedy’s about to get shot. How do you have this?”
“Hazel died to get me this footage,” Five answered. “It must be the key to stopping doomsday.”
“Hazel…?” Diego frowned, remembering the man he spent hours searching for and planning to kill to avenge the death of Eudora Patch.
“Long story.”
“What’s doomsday?” Lila looked up at the boy.
“Longer story.”
“What exactly did he say to you?” Diego asked as Lila turned her head back to the film.
Five shrugged. “Well, he was killed before he could explain. But whatever he wanted us to see, it’s on this film.”
“This is very exciting.” The old man smiled before the sound of gunshots and screaming could be heard, the camera moving around in blurs due to the shock of the old woman filming.
“Oh, my god!”
“Oswald…” Diego whispered, setting his knife down as Five leaned in closer.
“The president!”
When the camera was steadied to record across the street, Five and Diego both stiffened in their spots at what their eyes caught. “Oh, no…” Five breathed and moved behind the projector, rewinding the film and scooting the cart backwards to zoom in closer. The room was silent as Diego stood to his feet and Five rounded the cart before standing beside his brother, directly in front of the film. “This can’t be…”
“Okay, you gonna fill me in now, boys?” Lila glanced between the two. “What the hell is this shit we’re watching?”
But she was ignored yet again.
“No, that’s impossible…”
“Clearly, it’s not.”
“What… What is it?” Elliott muffled past the gag in his mouth.
A beat of silence went by before the two Hargreeves whispered in unison,
“Dad.”
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Taglist: @unfortu-nate-ly @sapphicsyn @m00n-sh @starcurrent @alexander-hamilhoe @youcandalekmyballs @wonderlandfandomkingdom @yrdadjstcallsmekatya @sm0kingcrack @a-t-h-r-e-e-n-a @moatsnow @bubblegumflamingos @starstormssymphony @meowiemari @magicalgothpandamaker @simping-4-fictional-men @hehehehannahthings @harrystylescherrie @rhain3 @himikaphoo @zerocanonlywriteshit @xxeiraxx @camerondiaz48104 @isawachickeninatree
#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#umbrella academy x reader#tua#tua x reader#tua fanfic#tua five#five hargreeves#five hargreeves x reader#number five#number five x reader#five x reader#of starlight#and dusk
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plant-flwrs masterlist!
updated immediately after a new fic is posted.
requests are temporarily closed
some guidelines:
pronouns
no incest/george x fred x reader
no professor x student pairings
i write for just about any character in the hp universe, but if you’d like to make sure, just send an ask!
smut is marked with an asterisk (*)
HARRY POTTER - golden trio era
Fred Weasley:
House Unity: Dating a Ravenclaw would be a great stride in house unity, wouldn’t it?
Smiling Kisses: (requested) Your flirtatious friendship with Fred is taken to the next level after he tries to kiss you at breakfast.
Roller Skates: (requested) The American transfer student draws attention to herself with her accent, but Fred is drawn to something else about her.
The Missing Piece: (requested) Fred with a bookworm, introverted reader
Rivalries As Old As Time: (requested) Fred and George are usually united on everything, but Fred’s crush on Draco Malfoy’s sister is definitely something they disagree on.
Heart Of Glass: (requested) Fred broke up with you just before the war, and when he couldn’t find you after the battle cleared he thought you died. You’re alive and well, living as a celebrity among the muggle world. One night reunites you two, and neither of you can deny the feelings that spark.
Never Too Old For Fun: (requested) Fred is caught in your snowball fight, and he can’t stop thinking about you afterwards.
Insecurities: (requested) You and Fred are hopelessly in love with each other, but you don’t believe him when he finally admits it.
The Bookshop: (requested) Fred discovers a quaint little bookshop with a gorgeous owner, who happens to be a Longbottom.
Bets Off: (requested) Fred makes a bet with George that entails fake dating you for at least a month. He never expected to fall in love with you.
Weasley Family Christmas Photos: You’re included on the traditional Weasley family Christmas pictures.
The Map’s Findings: (requested) Harry and Ron think they’ve discovered a secret relationship between you and Fred. Little do they know, they’ve just been clueless to the obvious romance all around them.
Undetachable: (requested) Fred protects you during Bill and Fleur’s wedding
Lacquer: Fred asks you to paint his nails
Ruined Parties: Draco is a relentlessly overprotective brother who ruins all romantic opportunities for you.
Romeo and Juliet: Fred reads Romeo and Juliet and can’t help but fall in love.
George Weasley:
Sweet Treats: (requested) Stumbling into the kitchens late at night, thinking he wasn’t looking for anything in particular, he came across you. George realized you were exactly what he had been looking for.
Budding Romance: (requested) George needs a tutor for Herbology, but has no plans on learning.
The Yule Ball: (requested) “You didn’t want anything to do with this ball if George wasn’t with you, hell you didn’t want anything to do with life if George wasn’t with you.”
Drama: (requested) You and Cho Chang never got along, and when push comes to shove, George gets to see just how angry you can get.
Studying: (requested) Exams are stressing you out, but George always seems to be there to help you relax.
Mischief: (requested) George falls for the mischievous pureblood Slytherin who couldn’t care less about blood status.
Family Is Complicated: (requested) The Weasley’s have never liked George’s girlfriend, and one snide remark makes George finally lose it.
Similar Shadows: (requested) Living in the Malfoy shadow conditioned you to behave a certain way, avoid certain things. But, once your able to use the Quidditch pitch to finally prove you are something different than your last name, everything seems to fall into place. You even catch a certain Weasley’s eye.
Flushed: (requested) George’s girlfriend never blushes, and it’s all he wants to see.
Essays Can Wait: (requested) George is just too cute to ignore, even if he’s trying to distract you from two huge essays.
Coward: (requested) George asks Alicia to the ball when he really wanted to ask you, but he makes it up to you.
Cat Person: (requested) You tell George you’re an animagus
*Late Night Rendezvous: You and George sneak off to the library for some privacy *
A Secret Santa Proposal: George gets you the perfect secret Santa gift
Hedonism in High School: George Weasley joins your study group, even though he doesn’t need the studying.
Draco Malfoy:
Cologne: You smell Draco’s cologne in your Amortentia, and he notices your reaction.
Three’s a Crowd: sequel to Cologne! Cedric Diggory takes notice when Draco hasn’t officially asked you to the Yule Ball. Cedric only wants to make sure you don’t go alone ;)
Peachy: Draco has always liked you, he just didn’t realize how much until you turned up to class with a hickey he didn’t give you.
Drunk: (requested) You and Draco are enemies until one drunken night leads to a confession of secret feelings.
Christmas Parties: You help Draco through his nerves about one of his parents’ Christmas parties.
Ruined Parties: Older brother Draco! (not romantic) Draco is a relentlessly overprotective brother who ruins all romantic opportunities for you.
Ginny Weasley:
Sun: Six years of being in love with Ginny Weasley. Watching her date boys and capture the attention of Harry Potter. Eventually, confessions are the only things left.
Luna Lovegood:
Picnic: Luna surprises you with a picnic.
Exploration: (requested) Luna helps you explore your feminine side.
Hermione Granger:
Library Confessions: (requested) Hermione overhears you confessing your feelings about her.
Neville Longbottom:
Secret Admirer: (requested) Your secret admirer also turns out to be your Herbology tutor.
Misc:
The Teenage Girl at 12 Grimmauld Place: Sirius has an overdramatic daughter who can’t help but interrupt The Order’s meeting.
Hermione Granger/Ginny Weasley:
Dreams Come True: Hermione felt like her feelings for Ginny wouldn't be a problem. She could manage. Until she had to spend the summer at the burrow.
HARRY POTTER - marauders era
Remus Lupin:
Under The Mistletoe: (requested) Staying at Hogwarts for the holidays seemed like the best way to avoid distractions, but with the Marauders there, distractions are guaranteed. Especially when your crush on Remus proves to be incredibly distracting.
Wolfstar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black):
Will The World Burn?: Remus and Sirius and their blissful life surrounded by books, tea, rain, crumpled bedsheets, and each other.
Eternal Spring (Series Masterlist): Remus was fine being alone until a mysterious and loud man crashes his motorbike into Remus’ life.
Misc:
New Years Eve at The Order of the Phoenix Headquarters: The Order of The Phoenix celebrates the new year.
Puppy Dog Eyes: James uses Padfoot in a failed attempt at flirting with you.
#masterlist#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter fic#fred weasley#fred weasley fic#fred weasley fanfiction#george weasley#george weasley fic#george weasley fanfiction#draco malfoy#draco malfoy fanfic#draco malfoy fanfiction#neville longbottom#neville longbottom fic#draco malfoy fic#neville longbottom fanfiction#harry potter masterlist#luna lovegood fic#luna lovegood#hermione granger#hermione#hermione granger fic#hermione fic#hermione granger fanfiction#hermione fanfiction#hermione imagine#hermione granger imagine#harry potter imagines#harry potter imagine
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Can you trust me? | knj
⇢ pairing: namjoon x reader (idol! Namjoon)
⇢ genre: Angst because Namjoon may or may not be an asshole about important things but also fluff because of sweet-talking
⇢ word count: 3k
⇢ warnings: Arguements but honestly thats it because the rest if fluff lmao.
⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken
⇢ Summary: Namjoon keeps making excuses of not meeting up with you and given that you guys have been having fall outs recently, things are about to be put on the line. Will you guys break up? Or will you stay together? Can you trust him..
You have reached the voice mailbox of-
You shake your head lightly as tears feel the brim of your eyes. This is the third time today. You knew that in this relationship with Namjoon would mean that he wouldn’t always have time for you. But for him to not even give you a quick text or just even answer his phone is absurd. You’ve been talking about this meet-up for the past two weeks. Although he is mostly busy majority of the times, a dinner for one night surely wouldn’t affect his schedule right?
Especially with all the things going on between you and him. This date tonight would of approached everything that has been happening. The arguments you guys have are just nerve wracking. Especially when he argued with you for being clumsy because you had spilled fruit juice in his studio.. on the wooden floor. You just didn’t get how it would be a big deal as it was not carpet so an easy clean up. At the end of the day, you guys knew how to get on each others bad side and that’s not good at all.
So here you are now, dressed in an elegant black dress with that Swarovski crystal bracelet he gave you for your 1 year annivesary. Atleast, that’s when he actually gave a fuck about the relationship. Actually, you can’t even count the amount of excuses he’s made within the past months to not spend time with you. The last time it was because he was washing clothes and didn’t have any to wear right now. In which you had called bullshit because he has more clothes than anybody could ever.
Needless to say, you had ignored his calls and texts for two days to give him a piece of your mind. Namjoon wasn’t the type to over-react on such things so it wasn’t a win situation for you. Instead he sent you some of your favorite chocolates and flowers as an apology as you weren’t speaking to him. Yes, you gave in because who wouldn’t over the dozen of roses and Switzerland made chocolate?
This time is something different though.
The waitress returns with a bottle of champagne with a bucket of ice in her hands, and while she sets it down, you quickly wipe the stray tears away and force a smile. You didn’t even notice they were there before.
‘‘ It seems as though my significant other..” You take the napkin from your lap and throw it on the table. “ Will not be joining me today. I’m sorry to keep you waiting.”
The poor waitress had been waiting for you to order your food for an hour now. You’d kept insisting to wait because Namjoon would’ve been there any minute. Turns out you were very wrong.
She smiles softly, popping the cork off the bottle and pouring a glass for you. ‘‘Shall I give you the bill then?’‘
As if you would be the one paying for this, when he had broke his promise for you. Broken promises are a thing you hated and he knew that. Putting this on his tab wouldn’t bother him with your petty little antics. The boy is a millionaire, something like this doesn’t even make a dent. Somehow though, you wanted to pay him back for not even showing up.
‘‘Put it on Kim Namjoon’s tab. He’ll be the one paying for this.’‘ You mumble to the young girl. The girl nods her head and pulls out the tab and hands it to you.
You sign your signature on it, and place a good thousand dollar tip on it. The feeling of satisfaction soothes you. He’d surely be paying for his time away, and wasting this waitress’ time. You hand it back to her, waiting for her reaction to the amount. Sure enough she doubled back to you when she realized how much was on the tab.
“ Ma’m? You added two extra zer-”
“ My date wasted your time love. He’s deeply sorry for it. Do something good with the money yeah?” As if the sinister smirk to yourself wasn’t enough, you quickly get up from the table and thank her again before heading to the exit.
The taste of the sweet yet tangy wine soothes the emotions flowing through you right now. Kim Namjoon. A guy who cancels dates a lot. A guy who does not keep his promise.
The only place you knew he would be at rather than his apartment would be at the BigHit building in his studio. He’s always there rather it be snowing or sunny outside he’s just.. there. It always astonishes you how one can just lock himself in a room for hours. What is it about him and doing that? Last time you paid a visit here Namjoon was eating the dinner he ordered in the room, instead of coming over to your house as he promised.
You punch in the code to the brand new building and a charming sound lets you know you may enter. You smile at the two security guards who give a slight smile then back to the blank expression towards the outside world.
Your heels click against the cold tile making your way over to the receptionist. The air smells fresh, as if someone had just cleaned the room again. The receptionist politely stands up quickly and greets you with a smile and a slight bow of her head.
“ Miss Yn, how may I assist you today?” Her eyes are warm and bright, along with her small smile at you. You wish you could feel happy in this current situation right now.
“Is Namjoon in his studio again.”
‘‘ Yes Ma’m should I tell him that you are coming in?’‘ She says, smoothing her skirt out before sitting back down about to grab the phone.
You immediately shake your head no. Since he doesn’t like showing up and canceling dates he doesn’t need to know anything at all.
You force a fake smile upon yourself to please her. ‘‘No. It’s a surprise since we have not had the time to see each other in a while.’‘ Oh yes, a surpise it will be.
She nods her head, ‘‘ Yes ma’m. Have a nice night with him.’‘
You say your goodbyes to each other and you go your separate way down the hallway of studios. Each door standing out in it’s own way makes you smile.
Mang Gae Deok Room
Hope world
Golden Closet
Genius Lab
And finally, Mon Studio.
You fluff your hair a little bit before turning the corner to the secluded area. But something takes you by surprise, it makes you tense up. Eyes watering and a little whimper chokes out of you. So this is what he’s been doing. This is what he’s been up to for the past weeks.
Its as if almost you feel your heart stop beating for a mere second. As if the blood in your veins went cold. As if what you’re seeing right now is only your imagination but in reality it is not.
There he is, sitting in his chair while a female takes it upon herself to casually take a seat on his desk, smiling and laughing and all. The pain in your heart makes it hard for you to keep looking. Sure, you guys argue, but ditching plans to do whatever it is with a girl is a low blow. That’s all you can take. That’s all you can manage to see right before he turns to look at you in complete and utter shock. There is no stopping the flow of the tears coming down your warm cheeks.
You look down at the boxed up food you had bought him and the bottle of wine that you had taken then back up at the door. Raising the box in the air, you throw it against the window making the food splatter everywhere leaving a mess. The two inside jump at your actions, but you ignore them and just walk away with utter disbelief.
Foot steps and yelling are heard behind you but you don’t stop. You continue walking, but then speeding up your pace passing the receptionist, who is confused yet concerned, and pass the two security guards with no expression.
Running to the open, vacant elevator you quickly wipe your tears and repeatedly abuse the close button to keep Namjoon from joining you. The image of him you get just before the door closes, is him running attempting to get the elevator door to open. You make sure to make eye contact with him just so he can see your pain.
You sniffle heavily while hanging your head low walking to your apartment. You could understand if it was one of the boys in the recording room. It doesn’t look like a great situation, but the girl did seem comfortable enough with him to sit on his desk. So that only leads you to think about how long has she been around him. The thoughts barricade your mind and before you know it you are face to face with someone standing directly on your doormat.
You dont bother to look up already knowing that body structure. Instead you try and shove past him to unlock your home, but there’s no use because next thing you know you’re being held by your upper arms standing in-front of him.
‘‘ Namjoon I don’t want to fucking talk about it.’’ You grumble, shoveling yourself out his arms quick enough to unlock your apartment enough for you to slide through and slam shut.
Knocks are loud on your door to cause some neighbors to wonder. Let them wonder they can scold him themselves for causing so much of a scene.
‘‘ Yn im coming in.’‘ He yells through the door.
You roll your eyes and stand a few feet from the door with your arms crossed on your chest. The door gives a charm letting him know the pin-code was correct. He shuffles in lightly through the door and closes it gently behind him. You stand there waiting for his explanation as you slowly walk towards him.
‘‘ Yn-’‘
Smack!
It felt good for your hand to connect with his cheek. How dare he disrespect the relationship of you two like this?
Namjoon holds his now sore, red cheek and gives you a serious look, ‘’ That was unnecessary. Let me fuckin expl-’’
Smack!.
Your nose flared in and out as you breathe heavily with your eyebrows furrowed in anger. ‘’ Another woman Kim Namjoon? You didn’t show up to our date because you were doing god knows what with another woman?”
Namjoon bites his lip hard as his eyes narrow, ‘’ Stop fucking smacking me. Let me got damn explain you brat!’’ He yells, pushing you to against the wall.
Your strength towards him was no match. You try to run away but he pins you back onto the wall. You were useless at this point.
‘‘ What’s your problem! Calm down!’‘ He semi-yells, grabbing your face to make you look at him. You look at him, you look him dead straight in the eyes with anger all over you.
‘‘ Shut up. Shut the fuck up Namjoon. I planned the date to talk about everything happening but you don’t show up? Instead you were chatting it up with another girl.” You pause, ripping your arms away from him. “ That’s not a good look for you.”
Namjoon steps back, scoffing in disbelief. That only pisses you off even more, but you decide that it had been enough smacking him for the night. ‘‘ I wasn’t cheating if you think that. You and I both know I wouldn’t do that, right?”
You glare at him, ‘’I don’t know you fucking tell me.’’
That one single sentence sets him off. Trust is something you two really try to have with each-other but lately that’s been all over the place. Questioning his loyalty to him is like a stab in the back with a sharp, piercing knife. Namjoon puts his hands on his head in shock while walking towards the kitchen. You follow him because the last thing he was going to do to you, is ignore the entire fucking conversation.
The silence is rough. You sit yourself down on one of the island chairs as you watch him pour himself a glass of wine. The one you had bought from the restaurant. The way his jaw locks with a serious pout on his face lets you know, he has some choice words to say. That sharp tongue is just holding it in.
But did you over-react? Perhaps you did? Either way, it wasn’t a great scene to walk in on. Your man and another woman alone in his studio. You can’t help but to have reacted that way. Wouldn’t any other person would? It’s not that she was there, it was the way she was very comfortable around Namjoon to the point of doing what she did. She was also a person you had never met.
Namjoon puts the tip of the glass to his lips, making direct eye contact with you as he takes a long sip of wine. You roll your eyes at his dramatic action.
He clears his throat, ‘‘ Im still young. I have female friends and I have male friends. I would love to have time with them before you start barking up my ass.”
Barking up his ass?
‘‘ So you’re saying that all you were doing was having fun with her cause you’re still got damn young huh? Is that what i’m hearing Namjoon?’‘ That rage begins in your stomach again. Simmering in you like boiling water.
You continue, “ It’s like you just don’t care you left me at the fucking restaurant looking stupid right?”
‘‘ No I wasn’t having fun with her. You ran out without letting me explain, instead you were all dramatic throwing fucking food at my windows.” The sound of the glass clinking against the counter-top is sharp. You wince at the sound of it.
Maybe you did over-react. But in your defense, you still had no idea who the girl was.
“Yn, how childish can you be right now? Did you ever think that me, one of the members of a worldwide known boy-group will be busy? Hmm? Yes, I should of told you that I couldn’t make it beforehand. I honestly thought I would be able to join you, but I overlooked my schedule wrong. That is my fault. The girl came because she was scheduled to work on our collaboration tonight with me.”
Oh gosh. The guilt takes over your body all at once. This was the last thing you wanted to happen. You really outdid yourself now. During all your rage and tantrum about this situation, you had failed to realize that you had indeed signed up to live this type of relationship with him. Of course he’d be busy, he’s an idol. Not once did you take his feelings and thoughts into consideration this entire time.
“ I don’t know Yn, I don’t know if we can continue our relationship together. You and I seem to be clashing a lot now-a-days. You questioning my loyalty really hurt me. We should think about taking a break, or ending things.”
Tears well in your eyes but you just let them fall. Those words you never wanted to hear ever. Sure couples clash with each-other, but isn’t that what makes them stronger? It’d be One year and a half down the drain if things were to go south now. Namjoon is a sweet guy, but your recent over-reacting scenes is becoming too much for him.
There goes that silence again. You two just sit there, not saying a word. The tension is thick as wood. This isn’t right. This won’t be right. Th emotions in you are running high. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Things were only said in the heat of the moment. You were tired of him always canceling and didn’t even bother to let him explain. This could of been handled better.
“ I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve been wanting to spend time with you and you keep canceling on me Namjoon..”
He sighs, placing his now finished glass of wine in the sink. He runs his hands in his hair shaking his head again. “ I’m sorry for that. I should do a better job at telling you my schedule.”
It still hurts though. The way he said those words without hesitation. “ Do you.. still want us to take a break after this?”
“ I think that now that we understand each other a little more, we can work on being better together and not seperate.”
You’re happy to hear those words. Namjoon comes from behind the counter straight towards you where you were now standing beside the chair you were once sitting in. His arms snake around you and pull you into his chest, hugging you tightly. You sink into him, nuzzling your head into him with a small sigh.
“ I don’t like when we fight like this. You know I love you right? So much. So, so, much.” He whispers down to you. You nod your head in agreement. It’s something about being in his arms that soothe you.
You feel so complete with just the presence of him. He makes you happy, as you do him. Namjoon is understanding, caring, kind, and so much more to you. He was there for you on your worst days, and was there on your best days.
He plants a small kiss on your forehead, “ Let’s become better together yn. I want big plans for us in the future, and I don’t want to lose you.”
“ I want that for us too. I love you so much Namjoon. Even when things are bad for us, I care a lot about you.”
The butterflies in your stomach settle. Being in Namjoons arms is what home feels like to you. You’re secure and safe.
‘‘ Can you trust me next time? I promise from now on I will tell you in advance if I cannot participate instead of just leaving you wondering.‘
You nod your head, not caring about what he said but only caring about his embrace right now. The only thing you care about att he moment is him and his understanding.
‘‘ Can you trust me?’‘
#kim namjoon#namjoon#knj oneshot#knj#namjoon fanfic#namjoon angst#namjoon fluff#namjoon smut#namjoon x reader#namjoon x you#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst#namjoon reaction#namjoon fanfiction#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts reaction#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#park jimin#jeon jungkook#bts
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