spring is coming. Spring IS COMING. You will stand on soft grass again, and feel the sun kiss your cheeks and shoulders. you will eat of the same berries as the animals returned from their hibernation. you will hear the air alive with your collective breathing.

Monday, November 27.

Holiday Blues 2023.

It's not just November, nay, it's nearly December. The mornings are getting darker. The evenings are, too, and it's only getting chillier. The holidays approach, as the holidays are wont to do. And we know that this is not good news for everybody. In fact, the seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.) struggle is real, and if you're finding these first days of winter difficult, you're not alone. Far from it, in fact.

Well, fancy that. If you suffer from holiday blues, we've got one or two things that might be of help to you. It's Holiday Blues, from @postitforward, and it's back for 2023.

As the seasons change and the days get shorter, remember to take a little extra care of yourself and your loved ones. If you find yourself struggling more than usual or sad suddenly, remember that there’s a perfectly good reason to be. Make a warm cup of soup. Sit in the sunlight when it’s there. Accept help from those around you. Be patient with yourself. The sun will rise again.

somebody tell bella swan that her depression wasn’t even about edward that’s just what autumn and early winter months in washington are like. bitch you don’t need a boyfriend you need a sun lamp and a pamphlet about seasonal affective disorder.

⚠️TW SH⚠️ My seasonal depression has been hitting really hard this year. I’ve really been struggling with everything really, but also my SH urges. So naturally my comfort character gets the good hurt/comfort. Gettin patched up by your bro

It's the "Holiday Season" and I've been told I don't have the... spirit...

What was really being communicated to me was that my pain was an inconvenience; I did not go out of my way to make people comfortable, and I let myself feel my feelings even if that meant others had to begrudgingly acknowledge me too.

Give yourself this. Trust me, you deserve it. You do not owe people a watered down version of you or some facade with a fake smile plastered on your face so that you are easy to deal with.

A little important PSA about my seasonal affective disorder experiences with some help from the NHS.

Random personal nonsense, venting in a safe place where nobody I know in real life will see.

It’s been 3 years pretty much to the day since I last did this but have finally had to admit I’m not managing The Dark Months without chemical assistance this time around. So have sent an E-consult to the GP and hopefully they will take my word for it and re-prescribe the ADs as before rather than have to have a phonecall to trawl through symptoms. The side effects suck for me but they do work and the balance has shifted such that it is better to deal with those than keep going feeling like I do.

This is a good thing. It is.

It’s unacceptable to spend 50% of my energy each day focussing on *not* crying and *not* overreacting to every perceived slight or non-positive comment or event and reminding myself why I deserve to exist. I’m missing out on enjoying my life which is actually objectively great right now and I am dragging my family down unnecessarily with being… meh all the time. And with everything going on in the world and all the people who have genuine reasons to feel depressed, it’s really daft to do so if I don’t have to.

And yet… it feels like a failure - I didn’t work hard enough on making sure I was getting outside, I missed the high dose Vit D a few days, I haven’t been disciplined enough with sitting in front of the lamp etc etc. If I’d got that right maybe…? The downside of making managing the last couple of winters in my own strength a success to celebrate, is that this time I haven’t so it’s… something else isn’t it?

But there is no shame in it, as I will tell other people over and over they wouldn’t not take their insulin if they were diabetic.

And yet… pfffffft.

me: *stays in bed all day because there's no reason to wake up, the winter months are a living death, a deep cold that radiates from the soil, to sleep is to lie in solidarity with the earth*

also me: *hears unusual bird call, gets out of bed so fast i literally almost pass out*

The Opposite of S.A.D.?

Hooray! Summer.

Oh, fuck me, not again.

Jesus fucking Christ. Why can't summer be something you only have to get over with once in your life? Seems like more than enough.

I mean, why should the classes be accelerated, why should they be any different than the rest of the year? It's not as if I'm needed at home to help with the fucking harvest. And fucking daylight savings. God. Fuck.

It's far, far too hot. Torns mi brien too soop.

Two summers ago, I stopped with the fucking hazmat suit wardrobe in 90 degree weather. Since then, it's been all thin cotton skirts and sleeveless halters. I'm able to do it now, but it's still so fucking hard. I hate the idea of forcing anyone, even a stranger, to look at this body. It's wrong. I feel offensive just stepping outside my door, like I'm hurting people with my existence.

Is there such a thing as reverse seasonal affective disorder? Winter and fall, cold weather and early sunset comfort me, make me feel safer and less exposed. I hate spring and summer, when the sun rises before I can wake up so I feel like I've failed and I'm behind as soon as I start my day. Hot weather and early sunrise add to my stress. Does this have a name?

Deciding Embers Vol.4, 12.8.23 “Be Stone”

Nausea from the nerves Paranoia from the press Stress from the suicides that I observe Cannot think or look towards the light Nor clean the room, the piles, and mess Clothes, and close my eyes; twisted foresight Weigh anchor in my intestines, miles long and deep No Father, no sins of mine I’ve come to confess The world, grown wicked and I long for sleep Press from the prophets, predicting the profits Headlines, head rolls, roll lines to impress Practice makes perfect, and perfection is a a lie Nonsense past November Stop the presses, seasons, flower impress Shun the sunlight, some light, limelight – remember This too shall pass And so do kidney stones and illness Breathe deep the filling air, the mountain will outlast

@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @mynamemeanscloud

Did you know it's unhealthy to mask your autism? Probably, right? But in certain times, to some degree, most all of us have to mask to function, right? There is probably at least one place in your life where you have to mask, thereby hurting yourself and making your own condition worse by leading towards burnout, shutdown, or a meltdown, right?

That's why even for people with low support needs, autism is a disability. You may not see your autism as disabling, but part of the criteria for a disability is that if it causes you considerable harm to work, attend school, and/or function in society, then it is a disability.

Some of you are really, really not giving yourself enough credit for how much you are worsening your own health just to "act normal" on a daily basis.

I guarantee that the majority of the "autism is not a disability" crowd are the same people who are masking 40+ hours a week and either haven't recognized the effects are caused by autism yet, or are misdiagnosed with seasonal depression because for a few months of the year you burn out from exhaustion related to masking.

Think about it, Seasonal Affective Disorder is specifically common in the part of the year that is worse on autistic people due to requiring more layers (increased chance of a bad texture/something being too tight/bad seam/other sensory ick), exacerbating the autistic inability to regulate temperature, requiring significantly more social interactions particularly with people you don't know well that are difficult to impossible to script for, and WORST OF ALL making your breathing feel like it is stabbing you in the lungs bc of the sensory hell of icy air.

(Not in any way saying seasonal affective disorder doesn't exist or can't be comorbid with autism, but I do think there is a high chance that many over-masking autistics, especially ones who may not know they are autistic, are misdiagnosed with it and are just burning out every so often)

I hate this time of year because why do I suddenly need to sleep for 12+ hours? Where has my motivation gone? SAD, when I get my hands on you...

it’s winter season for a lot of people

lack of sunlight is gonna cause some serotonin drops

Don’t forget to hydrate and take breaks everyone, get a sun lamp if you can, try to go out and hangout with the people you care about. and if you can’t, it’s okay too. If all you can do is make it to the next day than that’s okay, you’ve done your best.

I’m such a seasonally depressed b*tch that I walked by a blooming bush of lilac buzzing with bees and it healed me