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a-shared-experience · 6 months

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It’s said that in life there are no coincidences. What is a coincidence? The dictionary will usually define it as two or more events coming together in a surprising, unexpected way without an obvious causal explanation. Regardless if one is more scientifically minded or more spiritual it does seem strange the way things work out sometimes.

In the morning I drag myself to the office and pop some Advil to try and crush my headache and body aches. The RN im paired with tells me she’s exhausted and jokingly says she’s not sure she’s ready to handle a shift with me. The ongoing office joke is that I attract chaos. I scoff back. I tell her I hope to see the boy with the anchor tattoo and show her a photo of his atrocious wound from an encampment fire. “Oh my god that’s horrible” she says as she cringes. I pack extra wound care just in case . We are meant to be a team of three and after waiting 25 minutes for the girl to show I step out to call her. I’m team lead this weekend and she’s slept through her alarm. After a quick chat I take her off the schedule and we head out. At our first station we do a bunch of wellness checks and leave snacks beside the sleeping bodies. If I see the chest rise I don’t wake them because sleep deprivation is so insanely harmful on the human body- a thing I know all too well. The houseless community rarely has opportunity to sleep even if they make it into the shelters because inside those establishments are many severely mentally ill people with a high degree of trauma.

We find out that all of the inner city lrt stations are closed for some reason and experiencing delays between stops north and south. I nearly always start my day off at the Nait campus and work backwards but the schedule is totally messed up and forcing us to go to Churchill. The cops are on scene kicking everyone out and there’s an altercation so I dip into one of the stairwells and find the boy with the anchor tattoo. He smiles when he sees me and I can’t help but notice how clammy and grey his skin is.. Do you need wound care ? I ask. Yeah… badly , he replies.

“ bro have you been taking your antibiotics “

Nah I got rinsed

When?

When I saw you last.

“I saw you over a week ago because I’ve been home sick with the flu. “I say in horror.

He takes off his work boot and I smell infection. As he lifts his pant leg he reveals bandages that are completely soiled.

“ when did you have that last changed” the nurse asks him and he tells her when he saw me last.

“ oh my gosh ok , let’s do this” she has to soak the bandages which are half embedded in the wound. The wound being about 11 inches long, 5 inches wide and severely infected.

I put on a medical mask to try and hide that I’m about to throw up. Wooossssh. It’s so bad.

“ can I call ems for you bro, you need antibiotics it’s really serious and I care about you”.

He shakes his head no. they will just treat him like absolute garbage and kick him out the second he goes outside to get high. It’s not easy to convince a person addicted to opioids and speed to go into withdrawal especially with such a painful injury and for possibly a 12-20 hour ER wait to see a doctor.

His friend hands him some shards and they fall onto the floor. I pick them up and throw them in a dime bag and hand them back.

“ look at me bro, if I find you a doctor to get a script will you go”

“ yea I don’t feel good”.

While the nurse is cleaning and bandaging his leg I start calling around to try and find a doctor. It’s not easy because we are in a stairwell with a schizophrenic girl who is screaming at us in psychosis , only stopping to light her bat. Peace officers come to kick everyone out and I yell back that I’m doing wound care. They give me attitude and I flash my badge. “ oh sorry mam” one of them mutters. I glare a little and turn back to the boy. “ I secretly love the power trip when it comes to cops, not gonna lie” . he laughs.

“ you could be like me bro, smoke dope and be a shithead for most of your life and then get into medicine and boss them around. It’s not a bad flex if you hate authority”.

He’s wincing in pain which is pretty bad considering he’s already on one of the strongest opioids on the market.

“Boyle McCauley Health Centre, how can I help you?”

I end up ordering an Uber to come get us and help my street pal into the back seat. We go together to the health centre where I get him checked in and give him a new bag full of stuff since everything I gave him last time got stolen.

When he’s next in line to see the doctor he turns to me and says , “ thank you. I love you ya know”

“ I love ya too fucker , I’m going out east, promise you’ll trust my team ok, they will help you. “

“ are you coming back” “ of course dude but please , you gotta keep your antibiotics in your pocket not your bag, you gotta come to the burn clinic every day, not once a week. “

He hugs me and I hug him back. I care about him , no one else does out here. On our way out the nurse at the clinic asks us to do a wellness check across the street and I end up bringing the guy back to see the doctor for frostbite.

We walk back to the station and I see some old faces from the drop in centre that closed down. “ it’s so good to see your face” the old man says while extending his arm from the walker handle to fist bump me. It’s adorable and the security guards smile like children. I think we teach a lot of people how to be kind.

I get cleaned out of narcan and snacks so we have to go back for a restock and since it’s cold and windy I decide to take the pedways through the mall, epcor tower and Roger’s arena. The nurse says she’s never even been through this area and oddly enough we open the door to find a man face planting the floor grates. We throw the monitor on and his oxygen is in the 70’s. Security guards approach us and ask if we need Ems. No not yet, I have a registered nurse. I load the 3 doses and we go through the motions. When he wakes up he gets up immediately and asks where his backpack is.. sorry dude… someone stole it.

Restock and we have to take city buses to the southside since the trains are down. It’s a quiet little break from the chaos for a minute. We arrive at u of a and there’s a fight on the platform. We observe and I tell the nurse we are getting on the train with the girl who just got punched in the face even though we haven’t cleared the station. She’s agitated and with a man so we sit a few seats away. Everything seems fine until it isn’t. I was daydreaming and looking out the window when he jumped up in a panic and yells, “ where is the fucking emergency button”.

I jump up and ask what’s wrong and I see his girl unconscious. Oxygen is tanking so I load the first shot and inject into the left thigh. The nurse and man move her onto the floor in laying position. Second shot, right thigh. “ heart rate is too high, call Ems” the nurse says to me.

The train has halted and the driver steps into our car and asks whats happening.

911 what’s your emergency.

I need an ambulance to McKernon Belgravia platform. I’m on the lrt southbound with a female not responsive to physical or verbal stimuli, not responsive to light with pinpoint pupils and deviated right eye. I’ve administered 2 shots intramuscular narcan 0.4 mg.

I am trying to hold my phone and load the third shot but I drop the needle and have to rip open a new syringe. It’s nerve wracking having a train full of commuters staring at you in horror. I can’t help but notice the small children looking at us and want to yell at their parents for not protecting them from witnessing such a thing. There’s no time. Third shot , left arm. No response. The man is freaking out so I’m trying to calm him down, listen as the nurse reads off stats, direct peace officers to flag fire and ems and load the 4th shot.

I notice an empty 2litre bottle of vodka and instruct them to place the female in recovery position as we inject into the right arm.

We are 5 shots deep before fire gets there and do a hand off for transport to hospital.

She never wakes up. The train is emptied for medical emergency and we walk off the platform to vape and chart. Jesus…

So much for a chill day. At 5 pm I notice how shaky I am from not eating or having a break and dismiss the team for the day. “ you know I haven’t had an overdose in a month and 1 shift with you and we get two intense ones” the nurse tells me.

- diary of an outreach worker

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restapesta · 3 years

Note

hi emina! happy last week of no school ♥♥

15. “Finally. Missed you so much.” but make it sort of in front of other people??🙏🙏🙏 if u want. it's okay if not, too!

MONDAY

---

ian (1:11 AM): it's hot as fuck here. can't sleep.

ian (1:12 AM): also, lip snores

mickey (1:12 AM): that's what you get for leaving me

ian (1:13 AM): drama queen, i only left this morning. be back in just a week.

ian (1:13 AM): why are YOU awake?

mickey (1:14 AM): fuck you, just a week. 🖕🖕🖕

ian (1:14 AM): 🙄

ian (1:14 AM): go to sleep

mickey (1:15 AM): you woke me up???

ian (1:15 AM): doesn't matter. just go to sleep.

mickey (1:15 AM): probably not

ian (1:16 AM): ???

mickey (1:17 AM): can't sleep without you

incoming call from ian (1:17 AM)

---

TUESDAY

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mickey (11:22 AM): college bitch still pissed at us for waking him up?

ian (11:25 AM): isn't speaking to me. bitched about it to fiona the entire morning.

ian (11:25 AM): "can't go a night without him." blah blah

mickey (11:25 AM): fuck him. wyd right now?

ian (11:27 AM): helping Fi with the moving shit.

ian (11:27 AM): you?

mickey (11:28 AM): lunch with tami. bitching about lip.

ian (11:29 AM): 😌

ian (11.29 AM): that same lip is currently screaming my ear off to get off the phone.

ian (11:29 AM): keep bitching, my love

mickey (11:30 AM): tell him to fuck off.

mickey (11:30 AM): also, call me when you're done

ian (11:31 AM): 😘

mickey (11:31 AM): 🙄🖤

(12:57 PM) incoming call from ian

(16:44 PM): incoming call from mickey

(21:44 PM) incoming call from ian

---

WEDNESDAY

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mickey (09:06 AM): come back home, im bored.

mickey (09:06 AM): Fiona doesn't need you for an entire fucking week.

ian (09:10 AM): 😬 just five more days

ian (09:10 AM): Fiona says hi!

mickey (09:11 AM): I'm horny, this is stupid.

ian (09:12 AM): handy-dandy hand 😁

mickey (09:12 AM): 🖕🖕🖕🖕

mickey (09:13 AM): ...something to work with?

ian sent a link (09:14 AM)

mickey (09:15 AM): you did not just send me the benefits of a cold shower, you bitch.

ian (09:16 AM): loveeeeee youuuuuu

mickey (09:16 AM): 🙂🔪

incoming call from ian (12:33 PM)

incoming call from ian (17:29 PM)

incoming call from mickey (00:12 AM)

---

THURSDAY

---

ian (08:12 AM): I'm horny.

ian (08:13 AM): mickey

ian (08:13 AM): MICKEY

ian (08:14 AM): babyyyyyy

ian (08:14 AM): pleaseeeeee come on, you're not sleeping rn

mickey sent a link (08:16 AM)

ian (08:16 AM): i deserved that.

mickey (08:17 AM): handy-dandy 🤛

ian (08:17 AM): hate myself at this moment 🙂

mickey (08:17 AM): 🤭😘

ian (09:44 AM): coffee on facetime?

incoming call from mickey (09:45 AM)

---

FRIDAY

---

ian (14:22 PM): sorry for the ghosting

ian (14:22 PM): Fiona's been killing me with the whole apartment cleaning shit

ian (14:23 PM): And Lip's hiding from her so he's always with me.

ian (14:23 PM): i know it's been a day.

mickey (14:25 PM): well, well, look who decided to text their husband finally

mickey (14:25 PM): it's been a whole day, ian.

mickey (14:26 PM): we are no longer on speaking terms.

ian (14:26 PM): 😲😨

ian (14:26 PM): i'm sorry.

ian (14:26 PM): i miss having breakfast with you.

ian (14:27 PM): i miss sleeping with you

ian (14:27 PM): i miss kissing you

ian (14:28 PM): and doing other things with you 😏

ian (14:28 PM): miss you so fucking much.

ian (14:28 PM): mick?

mickey (14:30 PM): ugh fine, you sap

mickey (14:30 PM): call me

incoming call from ian (14:31 PM)

---

SATURDAY

---

incoming call from mickey (18:55 PM)

ian (19:24 PM): phone sex is cool, but we should try sexting 😳

mickey (19:26 PM): i don't need a reminder of your disgusting ass dick anywhere on my phone.

ian (19:26 PM): hm? 🤔 not what you were saying ten minutes ago.

ian (19:27 PM): you sure you ain't ready for round two? 😏

ian (19:27 PM): bet facetime sex is even better.

incoming call from mickey (19:28 PM)

ian (02:22 AM): i miss you. i really fucking miss you.

---

SUNDAY

---

ian (08:02 AM): flight is at 10

mickey (08:04 AM): i'll be waiting for you when you land.

---

It had only been a week. A week filled with phone calls and text messages and a whole bunch of facetime—but, fuck, it had been a week.

Did Ian really have to go on and visit Fiona alone with Lip? Was it really that necessary for him to travel all the way to the alligator land just so they could help Fiona switch apartments? Mickey didn't see the point of the long-ass trip to Florida just so Ian could complain about how humid it was and how it was a blessing he didn't share a room with Lip anymore.

Mickey missed him. He missed him a lot more than he thought he would, and he really should've considered the fact that he and Ian spent most of their time together. They may have been apart before for long periods of time, but it was hard to tear them away from each other nowadays.

So maybe it wasn't that much of a surprise he'd had a hard time adjusting to the empty space of their apartment and the coldness of their bed. The lack of dad jokes during their long rides at work and the unmistakable scent of Ian that had been slowly fading and was almost gone now.

That was Mickey's excuse for not doing laundry. He didn't wanna lose Ian's smell from their home. The sappy excuse would probably work with Ian, he thought.

And even if it didn't, Mickey could distract him from his annoyance in other ways.

Airports sucked.

Being in an airport, waiting on Ian and Lip with their family of twenty thousand—or six, whatever—sucked even more.

But the plane had already landed and it would be just another couple minutes before Mickey saw his husband for the first time in a week. Before he wrapped his arms around him in a bone-crushing hug. He didn't even give a shit if anybody saw him and thought how big of a fag he was.

Husband. That was the only thing on his mind currently.

"They should be here already," Tami said, bouncing Fred up on her hip.

Debbie shrugged from beside Mickey, one hand tightly holding onto the redheaded girl between them. She was fisting the fabric of Mickey's jacket, and it made Mickey smile. It eased the anticipation a little.

Who was he kidding? There were swarms of bees in his stomach, poking and stinging. He felt slightly nauseous.

"I think I see Lip!" It was Liam who exclaimed.

Mickey didn't see Lip.

But he did see the redhead trailing right behind him, a suitcase in his right hand, recently bought for the trip. His hair was ruffled, and his eyes were sleepy, the jet lag probably hitting him in full swing.

Still, the green orbs Mickey missed so much lit up the moment he noticed Mickey, the corners of his mouth twisting up into a wide smile.

Mickey wasn't any better. He could feel the grin stretching across his face involuntary, yet he did nothing to hide it. Nothing to stop it from spreading. He didn't care to hide the excitement he was feeling upon seeing Ian for the first time in a week.

A week.

His legs moved on their own accord, and in what felt like no time at all, he was engulfed into a hug, Ian's long arms circling him—it was familiar; comfortable, and warm.

"Fucking finally," Ian choked out against Mickey's hair, his lips pressed to the top of his head, cradling his body gently. "I missed you so much."

Mickey tilted his chin up and their lips connected in a brief kiss. Just a peck that turned into a couple more, all loud on the pullback, their limbs still wrapped up in each other.

"Missed you more."

They stared into each other's eyes longingly for a couple of moments—it was probably too soft and sappy for them, but who gave a shit? They hadn't seen each other in a week.

What interrupted them eventually were a few short coughs, as if somebody was clearing their throat.

Mickey glared at Lip, practically forcing himself to tear his eyes away from the man he was holding.

"We done with the reunion or you guys wanna continue making out in the middle of the airport...?"

Ian was the one who flipped him off, finally disentangling himself from Mickey so he could greet his siblings properly and pick Franny up into a long hug. It made Mickey frown, the loss of contact. He forced himself to endure it, though—half an hour of a ride longer and they'd be home alone, free to do whatever the fuck.

Still, as soon as they were done with the obligated reunions and the questions about Florida and Fiona, Ian found himself next to Mickey again, gripping Mickey's palm and intertwining the fingers with his own.

Who gave a shit if anybody was looking? Who gave a shit if Lip was rolling his eyes at the obvious display of affection or if Carl was making obnoxious kissy faces at them as if they haven't been married for a while now—Mickey saw none of that shit.

All Mickey saw was Ian.

#gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #ian and mickey #shameless #shameless us #fanfic #*ficlet #AHHH THIS WAS DIFFERENT?#i liked writing it #I HAVE A LOT OF ASKS RN #so the content will keep coming :)#also thank you for the ask ❤️❤️❤️

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crybabyddl · 3 years

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I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO REITERATE SOMETHING

Yes, let’s circle back to the beautiful performance of Edge of Great. More specifically the BODY LANGUAGE, particularly Julie and Luke’s, which I will be analyzing with gifs.

Exhibit A

Jealous Luke looks over at Julie and Reggie vibing

Julie is aware that she’s avoiding Luke, which she is doing so bc she realized her feelings for him thanks to Flynn earlier in the episode.

Since Julie has put the task of ignoring Luke upon herself even though she has no obligation to, she ends up failing her own mission. She sees Luke’s reaction to the lack of her attention.

She literally FREEZES. She’s emotionally worried to confront what she’s feeling and it’s beginning to manifest physically.

Exhibit B

It gets better y’all. After Luke finally has even a crumb of Julie’s attention, he beckons her over with his signature head tilt. This is important bc he did this with his longtime bandmate during the soundcheck of what would’ve been their biggest performance. If he feels comfortable enough using that body language with a girl he’s only known for, what, a week and a half(?) then you know this puppy boy’s got it BAD.

Julie is well aware that Luke is getting jealous. But in classic Julie fashion, she will try to tune it out instead of addressing it. Our wicked beauty doesn’t like confrontation and would rather just deny and avoid than potentially make things awkward, especially when she knows Luke would ask her about it at a later time.

The look on Julie’s face. Her eyes widen and the classic tight-lipped awkward smile is present. She’s literally saying “ok enough of that let’s get back to work doo doo doo” with her face. The way her body SWINGS back into performance mode as she faces the audience again. It may have been a split second, but when you’re deliberately trying to avoid looking into the dreamy (dead) eyes of someone you shouldn’t be crushing on, any amount of time feels too long. Plus, she knows Flynn is watching and doesn’t want her to lecture her (but she does anyway bc Flynn is observant and knows her bestie too well to let any action slip past her).

Exhibit C

Keep in mind; NONE OF THE GUYS KNOW WHY JULIE IS AVOIDING LUKE. Flynn, Alex, and Reggie have noticed the Juke chemistry, but it’s still too soon for them to get past the “we like each other but we’re too clueless to notice that we reciprocate” phase, so even though their respective besties know, they are still denying. Besides, Reg, Alex, and Flynn know better than to keep pestering if they want to keep their kneecaps. In reality they’re both smart enough to tell by this point, but for the sake of the plot and to make everything more adorably frustrating, Flynn has the collective brain cell under lock and key, leaving Juke to be like *dog tilting its head and making that “a-roo?” noise*

Anyway, Reggie notices Luke being snubbed after realizing that his extra dose of Julie time was slightly out of the ordinary. Luke is clearly concerned (look at his eyebrows and how his eyes travel from Reggie, to Julie, then to the audience to trying and get his mind off it and bring his focus back to the main goal; the performance.) If he can’t have the moment of connection with Julie that he so desperately craves, he’s gonna fill that void as best he can by connecting with the audience. >:’)

But Reggie’s trying to help Luke brush it off by conveying his reaction as ‘look at julie coming into her own! i told you she was a star! and you thought you were the lead singer? think again buddy this girl’s got you beat!’

But since Reggie isnt a master at hiding his feelings yet, especially around Luke, —who was able to get under his skin earlier (“girls, am i right?”)—Luke was easily able to see through that and interpreted what Reggie was saying as “look at julie go, she all in the zone. you’re literally making heart eyes at her get a grip you’re slacking lmao” (hence luke’s right eyebrow quirking at reggie like ‘dude seriously gimme a break u know i need attention like tinkerbell’) even though Reggie’s true message was a bit less harsh and more lovingly teasing, but it’s Luke, he sees things through his eyes and at his intensity, regardless of who it’s coming from. (This is one of the reasons why Luke comes off as selfish at times.)

Exhibit D

Poor Lukey boi can’t seem to catch a break today! Not only does Julie ignore him, then has a cute lil (platonic but it’s luke so it still makes him jealous >:P) moment, but now she has the AUDACITY to interact with Alex? The guy who was out learning Ghost 101 with this Willie guy instead of rehearsing with the band? What gives?! What’s he got that your moody ghost bf doesn’t? >:’(

He literally just watches, and even glances back in a way that, to me, screams ‘did i see that right? did i just see what i just saw with my own dreamy (but dead) eyes? say sike rn.’ \_(*_*)_/

Meanwhile, Alex pays no mind. I like to think that Alex is fully aware that Luke is an angry boy rn, but has learned to ignore it, especially this bc literally NOTHING happened. Either that or Alex has no clue and just truly thinks nothing of it and is having too much fun to think about Luke’s moody and childish behavior. Either way, Alex is just straight chilling and we love to see it *^_^*

Notice how Reggie is right there vibing with Julie and Alex. Luke feels a bit betrayed like ‘not you too! i know you were the first to turn on me but i figured since you’re such a golden retriever you’d be loyal and come back to my side!😠🥲’

Also; Luke approaches the rest of the group, wanting to be included in at least SOME of the vibing, but when Julie starts dancing and smiling with her buddy Alex, he backs up like

“you know what? nope. nevermind. not doin’ it.”

and the group’s like “i mean hey it’s your loss, but luke we want you to-”

“no, bc you chose to piss me off right in front of my face so no luke time for any of you! no cuddles, no hugs, no nothing! you made your bed, now lie in it and perish.”

Exhibit E & F: This is where it gets a bit interesting and theorized hehe...

Now we all know that this moment is just fucking ICONIC

WEOWH NEOW NEOW!!! WEOW NEHR NEHR NER-NER-NER NEHR NEHR NEOWHR!!! (wer nehr-nehr-ner-ner-nehr-nehr!!) WUEHNER-NEUHNER-NEHR-NEEOW-NEOWH! DLOOLOODDUH-DOODLAH-HOOBLUEH-NEOWHR-NEUEHR-NEEEEEEUOWRH!!!!

But hear me out– HEAR ME OUT!

What if... now don’t shoot the messenger who just so happens to also be the theorist... but what if...

WHAT IF!!! Luke didn’t!! plan this?!!!

Listen i know you’re probably thinking:

“Well uh Nicole, isn’t that kinda the whole point? It literally wasn’t planned until Charlie realized Madi was gonna be standing on the piano so he suggested the idea for the guitar solo to Kenny.”

And you’re right! But here’s the kicker:

What if Luke THE CHARACTER, just decided to do this as an “Alright that’s it! You wanna be like that? Well what if I just hit you with my super awesome radical totally cool wowza guitar skills & make a moment between us? Huh? What do you think about that? Hmm? HMMM???!!!”

He licks his lips & that to me read** like he was nervous (**read rhyming with bed just to clarify) so that means it could’ve been a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment thing.

In the second gif, you can see that Julie’s head is tilted, as if she’s a bit confused, but she’s also delightfully surprised.

Julie is quick to smile and scrunch her nose at Luke, something she does often. It tells Luke his impulsive action garnered a positive response from his favorite girl. Julie also starts to shake her head, but doesn’t go through the motion in full, which means she’s still a bit nervous to let her guard down. This is probably because she doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he will do next. The lopsided smile mixed with the suave, gliding steps towards her probably brought her back to her daydream lol.

Luke’s happy bc Julie’s no longer ignoring him. He smiles like a GOOBER bc this chump is simping HARD for our Julie. So cute! :’)

Exhibit G

And hear me when I offer this:

What if Luke poofed the guys out???

I know, I know. It’s a bold claim to make. But the boys are special, considering they are a threat to Caleb (3 gay-variant himbos vs. a gay magician that could’ve been on broadway but decided to make some sort of deal with a devil so he just entertains capitalists who most likely sold their souls to get into the hgc which i will probably elaborate on in a future theory so dont do that bc im gonna lmao idc we all have big brains) So it’s not too crazy to think that they could share some ghost powers.

We know Caleb transported the guys during You Got Nothing to Lose. And the guys have left a place at the exact same time on more than one occasion.

And you may be thinking “well what if the guys poofed out to give juke a moment alone together?” And to that I say...

Look at Reggie. He isn’t looking back at Alex like “dude let’s give them some space.”

The timing of him turning around, at least to me, makes me think Reggie was surprised by Luke approaching the piano. (But also he lowkey was waiting for Luke to prove him wrong by doing something to get Julie’s attention so Reggie isn’t mad. Neither is Alex but he doesn’t like being told how or WHEN to ghost) Luke doesn’t even give his bandmates a warning eyebrow quirk, a hand signal, nothing. Reggie turns to Alex like ‘dude what is he DOING?’ And before he can even really convey that, they go *POOF*

This man had a plan and he was gonna do it, so he did. Whether it’s the power of love, they stopped performing, or Reggie and Alex actually poofed out, the odds worked in Luke’s favor so he and Julie could have a super special moment, a moment special enough to make an actual living person (Nick) wonder if a “hologram” has a better chance at connecting with Julie than he does.

Again, regardless of who made them poof or how they poofed, they mf poofed so Luke’s a happy hamster. (Idk it just sounded fitting instead of happy camper lol wait what if someone had 3 pet hamsters and named them alex reggie and luke🥺 someone buy some hamsters and let me be their godmother or their aunt and i’ll love them from afar.) Anyway, Luke’s thriving, flourishing, his crops are going to grow in time for the harvest.

You can see Julie lean back as she turns to see Luke. It’s... almost as if... She. Wasn’t. Expecting. Him. To. Be. There..??

Honey badger Luke bc he DGAF <|:) Bitch, it’s Luke mf Patterson and he’s gonna,, GET! IN! YOUR! FAAAACE!!!

You CANNOT tell me he’s not doing the absolute MOST to try and seduce Miss Juliana Mariposa Rose Molina.

Yes I’m making a headcanon that Julie has TWO middle names and that one of them is the spanish word for butterfly and that the other is her mother’s name. Also yes, I believe (i believe that we’re just one dream away from who we’re– oh, that’s not what we’re doing? okay, sorry!) that Juliana is Julie’s full name.

In this house we love and respect Juliana Mariposa (Dahlia)** Rose Molina

**I’m just putting Dahlia there for fun bc I can. :) Whether I’d consider it a possible middle name of hers depends. Anyway I just thought it was a cute thing to add bc it goes along with the other middle names I gave her *^_^* Also, I feel like I made a post giving a bunch of the characters middle names lemme see if I can find it later)

Ok i’m done this took me basically all day from like 10am until 4:08. I obviously took breaks in between, but not long ones...😶

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madfantasy · 3 years

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I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

#ask #text #diary #personal #my art #miss

64 notes · View notes

another-fantasy-world · 3 years

Note

Hi! Can I request a part 2 to your Valkyrae imagine?

GIF isn’t mine. Credits to the owner!

Title: Idol’s Inspiration Part 2

Pairing: Valkyrae || Rae x Fem! Reader

Summary: A collection of moments involving an idol and a streamer

Warnings: Cursing?. Just pure fluffiness

Word Count: 3,043 words

I had way too much ideas on this one so this is going to be a collection of said ideas. Have fun!

Actually, I saw someone on my dashboard asking for Rae x Reader imagines, so hi to that person!

You can read Part 1 Here

➽───────────────❥

You took a couple of days before you gathered the courage to actually message Rae, you also spent those couple of days staring at the paper containing her number and your phone, which also has her number punched in.

“Okay. I just have to press send...” Your fingers hovered over the icon as you chewed your lips in nervousness.

“Oh damn it.” Luna groaned before snatching your phone and pressing send, barely giving you time to retaliate

“Hey!” You complained, staring at her in disbelief

“You were taking too long” She shrugged, sipping on her milkshake as she tossed your phone back to you

You only had time to roll your eyes before phone vibrated.

‘About time you texted me, I was beginning to think you forgot. Oh and totally, I could make a lobby for you rn’

‘Sounds good! I’m free this Friday!’

You smiled, well, looks like you’re playing with your favorite streamer group this Friday then.

Your bandmate Jace actually owns a gaming pc, to which you borrowed to play among us, which ended you up here, in his room, on a private discord call with Rae, her helping you set up for tomorrow.

“So is this your first time, ya know? Playing among us?” Rae asks as the download bar for the proximity chat

“Oh no. Uhm, My bandmates and I play all the time, sometimes on public lobbies and sometimes we drag our crew to play, especially while on the tour bus. Plus, I watch you scream and play all the time so you don’t have to worry about me Rachel” You explain, smiling softly at the memories, trying to ignore the feeling of content and satisfaction at how easy her name rolled out of your tongue

“That’s cool.” She replies, about to say something when a bark interrupts her

“Mika! Hi! Hi baby~” You hear her coo, your smile widening

“Raeeee! Tell Mika I said hi!” You chuckled

“Y/N says hi!” She says, running her hand through Mika’s fur, the white furball now sitting in her lap

“Awee~ You’re both so cute~” You coo, laughing when Rae hid herself behind Mika

You spent the night talking about random stuff, setting up for the game and running a test run with her, but then laughing when you realized you can’t play with just the both of you, ultimately deciding to start early tomorrow for a test run. Her also adding you to their discord before sleeping.

“My new favorite seafood!” You furrowed your brows when you heard Sykkuno’s voice fill your ears when you joined the discord call

“Shrimp.” Brooke giggled

“OOOOOHHH. So that’s why they were saying shrimp for Rae. I was like, what does that even mean?” Rae’s sentence caught you off guard, especially since you just tweeted that exact same phrase before logging in.

“shit.” You mumbled, having dropped the lid of the water jug you were drinking from.

“Y/N! HI HI HI HI” Rae greeted

“Hello.” You replied, a little overwhelmed at being the center of attention.

“Pfft- My chat is saying shrimp for Y/N now” Sykkuno announces

“Mine too” Brooke agrees, soon followed by the rest of the lobby, making you laugh

“I’m Sorry, Sorry! Actually, I may know why that’s happening. Fun fact! I actually gave people permission to shrimp for me on an interview, since I found it funny, especially since I’m also shrimping for someone.” You explained

“Oh yeah! I saw that clip.” Rae mumbles, trying to decide which color she should be in and what hat she should wear

“I wonder who Y/N is simping for. Hmmmm. Who could that be? Hmmmm.” Toast teases

“Yeaaah. I wonder who that could be.” Poki replies, her teasing tone much more evident

It had been a couple weeks now since you first played with Rae and her friends, her friends who are now also your friends. You were pressured to stream on YouTube by your fans and also Rae, who you now have late night talks with.

“Y/N! Hiiiiii!” You hear Rae as you rounded, soon followed my Corpse’s voice

“Choke me-” Corpse started

“LIKE U HEYT MEH BAT U LAB MEH-” Rae continued, mispronouncing words that made you chuckle

“Lowkey wanna date me when you hmm me.” You sang, connecting the wires

“NEW SONG! NEW SONG! Corpse and Coldify! C and C!” Rae exclaimed, her little red bean circling you and Corpse

“Oh yeah, definitely, Corpse? You up to it?” You ask, doing a little wiggle to show your excitement

“Hell yeah! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” he does that deep voice thing that made you flinch

“I can’t stand it. I can’t stand the sound of my voice.” Rae exclaims, talking to chat you assume.

You rolled your eyes, finding Rae’s voice beautiful. You jumped out of the vent, knowing that no one was around, making her scream

“Hi! Just wanted to pop in and let you know that your voice is actually beautiful and I would love to sing with you some time. That’s all, I’ll go back to killing now, Oh! you might want to check vitals, love.” You say, hopping back into the vent, laughing silently. Then abruptly stopping when you realized you called Rae “love”, glancing at the chat, who were now spamming your ship name with Rae

Seeing Lily alone, humming a tune, you quickly popped out of the vent, sliced him in half before a meeting was called, Ludwig finding Toast’s body.

“Before we start. I just want to say, to the person who called me “love”... You don’t get to call me that then run away!” She exclaims

“Sorry! I got embarrassed!” You pouted. You wiggled your eyebrows at your chat, smirking slightly

“Uh-huh. Oops, Sorry Lud. Carry On” Rae says, letting Lud explain his “Different Universe” theories about how Toast died.

“Heeeey...” Rae trailed out, her cornering you in storage

“Hiiii?” You smiled nervously. You don’t know what was happening in her mind

“Soooo... Babuska?” You immediately got what she was implying, nodding frantically, before realizing she couldn’t see you

“Yeah. Yeah let’s do this!” You both walked out, Rae on the lead while your white character trails after her

“OH LOOK! There’s Corpse! And Sykkuno! Hiiiiiii!” She greeted cheerily, somehow you could see the evil smile on her face

“oh- Oh. Hi Rae! We’re just shooting some space rocks here!” Sykkuno says, her green character circling Rae

“I see. I see... Babushka.” Rae states, you wait a couple of seconds letting Sykkuno and Corpse panic first, before slicing Corpse in half.

“OH JESUS! You killed Corpse! You killed him! You really kil-” He was cut off when Ash creeped behind him, biting his head off

“Thanks Ash.” You say, laughing as Rae gasped and laughed as well

“Rae~ Oh Rae~” You chuckled, looking for the brunette

“What?!” She exclaimed from her spot behind the seismic reactors

“Oh uhm, are you streaming right now?” You asked her, preparing yourself for what you are about to say.

“Uh yes? Duh?”

“Ohkay... well, hypothetically, If I were to ask you out, is it okay if I do it on stream orrr?”

“Well, hypothetically, I would be fine with it either way, yes.”

“Oh okay!” You clear your throat

“Ms. Valkyrae, The Valkyrae, Rae, would you please grace me with your presence on this coming friday night and allow me to buy you dinner, m’lady?” You say in your best posh voice

“...Yes” She says in a small voice

“Great! I’ll pick you up at 7!” You say

“Great! Okay”

“Great. I’ll kill you now.” you say

“Wait what?!” she exclaims, her scream perfectly cut when the victory sign flashes on your screen.

“THE AUDACITY! HOW DARE YOU! I- I CAN’T EVEN” She rages

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You apologized, laughing your ass off

“I’m on Y/N Protection Services! She’s been dying a lot lately!” Rae exclaims, you rolling your eyes at her dramatics, both of you were impostors.

“Well, thank you m’lady” You replied, faking gas

“Ooooooh! I have speci, come.” Rae says, her red character slicing toast nonchalantly when you passed him doing telescope

“Uhm-”

“Shh.”

And suddenly, when the decontamination doors open, Poki emerged from it, panicking you killed her.

“Oh shit! No! Wait! I’m sorry! Pokiii!” You whined, following Rae into decontam

Finding Janet in Speci, You go to say hi, only to be interrupted by the body being found.

“OH NO! TOAST! He was just with me! OH JESUS!” Sykkuno exclaims, making you bite your lip to avoid laughing

“Where’s the body?” Jack asks

“Medbay, by the telescope” Brooke answers

“It has to be Y/N! She’s the only one who could’ve killed Toast!” Janet accused

“Hey! What?! Why me?!” you complained,

“You came from upper decontam! Toast’s body is in medbay, That’s sus.” Janet says, you were about to defend yourself when Rae chimed in

“There is a possibility that Y/N is the impostor.” She states

“Wha?! RAE?! You- You were with me in speci!”

“What? No I wasn’t! You’re lying! I lost you when I was doing gas! I was looking for you everywhere!” Rae says making you look at chat with a pout

“I didn’t see her there either...” Janet backed her up

“Wha?! Guys?! Come on, let’s skip! There’s barely enough evidence!” You desperately say, trying to save yourself

In the end, 7 heads voted for you.

“...Y/N will remember this.” You state before being thrown off the ship, welcomed by Poki and Toast’s laughter

“Yeah. Yeah. Hmmpf.” you huffed at Poki and Toast

“My girlfriend just betrayed me. Rae betrayed me chat, she just, she pushed me off the plank. She just, watched as I burned in the lava. She kicks me out of her bed for Mika, and now she betrays me, then pushes me off the plank. Ohhh the pain” you dramatically say as you followed Rae, her returning to specimen

“Listen, chat, Y/N if you’re listening... That was payback for that one time you killed me behind reactor right after you asked me on a date! Okay!” You rolled your eyes and looked at your camera with an annoyed look in your face

But your smile slowly returns as Rae goes on a mass massacre making you both win without meetings, making you bounce in your seat, clapping

“Good Job Rae! That was so good! You successfully scared me, I might not sleep in your room now.” You teased her, making her gasp

“Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Hello everyone and welcome to the streeaam! Part 2. We are starting the playthrough of little nightmares 2- Hold on, Y/N’s calling.”

“Love?” Your voice rings out through Rae’s phone

“Hiii Baby! You’re on speaker” Rae states while looking at the game settings

“Oh. Well Hi chat! Anyways, Mcdonalds? I’m 5 minutes away, don’t start little nightmares yet, come on.” You whined

“Oh you big baby, I wasn’t starting without you.” Rae laughs

“Liar, I was watching your stream.” You deadpanned

“Pshh. Pshh! But yeah, Mcdonald’s fine. And hurry up! I wanna play!”

“Okay, okay sheesh, I’ll be there with your chimkin nuggies”

“Baby?” You knocked on her door, even after all the months that you have been together, you always knocked on her door before entering, incase she was doing something.

“Come in love! Perfect timing.” You open the door to see your girlfriend playing with Mika, Little Nightmares 2 plastered on the screen. You approached her and kissed her forehead

“Hi Babe. Hi chat! How are you guys doing? Hold on, let me set this down.” You say, arranging the food on Rae’s desk, careful not to spill anything

“Are we ready? Baby, grab your chair. Are we ready? Are we ready? I’m so excited!” The excitement in her eyes is making you smile

“Oh she’s excited alright, she wouldn’t shut up about it chat. Trust me” You chuckled.

“Will there be a lot of screaming? Rae?” You read chat

“Uhm. Hopefully not, I don’t know dude. Can’t control my screams.”

“A Shoe!” Rae gasps

“Baby, there’s literally hanging kids dangling in a net and the first thing you notice is the shoe?” You looked at her in disbelief

“Oh. What happened to you guys? Stinkyy. Oooooh. Physics!” You bit your lip and shook your head at your girlfriend’s antics

“Y/N, I feel comfort when I hold this shoe.”

“Ouch. Are you saying I’m not comforting you? Rude.”

“Stop trolling!” She says, turning to you as you held up a fry

She raises her eyebrows before biting the whole fry, along with your finger.

“Ouch! Damn it Rae! You’re like a chihuahua”

“Owa Owa.”

“I’m sorry. OUWGHH?! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, PALAMPARAMPARAMPARAMPALAMPRAMPRAMPRAM! SHE’S COMING!”

“RAE! RUN! RAE! RAE! RAE! HOOOOLY SHIT! RAE! RAE! RACHEL RUN! RACHEL! RUUUN!” You panic, gripping her thigh as the teacher neck elongated, following your little character into the vents

“SHE DOESN’T CARE! SHE DOESN’T CARE! PLEASE?!”

A moment of silence pass the both of you as the character Rae’s controlling gets to safety. Rae slowly turns to meet your eyes, and bursts out laughing.

“You should’ve seen your face!” You laugh at her

“OH OKAY? Like you weren’t screaming for me to run.” She says then proceeds to repeat what you said while in a panic, making you laugh harder

“Sorry for screaming, it’s just really gross and unexpected.” She says sheepishly to her chat, which was now spamming ‘HAHAHA’ and ‘Damn how long is that neck’

“So, this question is directed to Ms. Y/N.” The interviewer moves his body to face you.

“Yes?” You smiled, guessing that this must be about you and Rae

“How are you feeling about your pictures trending on Twitter worldwide?” he asks, a smile on his face as the pictures flashed on the large screen behind you

“Ahm, it’s really great. A lot of hard work was put into that photoshoot, mostly because my girlfriend, Rae refused to put on the dress and was attached to the suit she’s wearing right there. God, she looks so beautiful. Uhm, but anyways, it took a lot of effort to get her out of that suit. ” You grinned

“Ahh. I recognize that look, Makes me remember about my wife and I. You’re so smitten. Can I just say that I ship you guys so hard.” The interviewer says

“Ah- Thank you. Hehe.” You say, embarrassed but proud

“While were on this topic of trending pictures, Can you guys explain whatever these pictures are? I’m pretty sure your fans already know what these are. But an explanation would be nice” The interviewer now addressed your whole group

“Well, considering that Y/N is dating Rae, Luna is dating Sykkuno and Jace is dating Imane, or Poki, Okay, so there’s this AU that’s around their community where they are mafia’s and we’re all members now. We all joked about being apart of their mafia, to which they agreed. So now Rae and Y/N are now the assassin duo, Poki and Jace are their supervisors and Luna, Sykkuno and Corpse are the deadly trio” Sebastian explains

“Their community is so creative I swear. And combined with our fandom, the fanarts and fanfictions are the best.” Luna says, a smile present on her face

“And yes, we all do read fanfiction, in multiple platforms.” You laughed, the live audience gasping in surprise

“None of you are safe.” Jace says in a playful intimidating voice

“Okay, I’m gonna get off. Thank you for watching. I’ll see you guys later, thanks for watching, I hope you guys enjoyed the stream. Uhmm. Appreciate you guys. Byeee!” you hear Rae end her stream from your spot in her bed.

“Hunter x Hunter? or AOT?” you ask her as you put your phone in silent and set it aside, opening your arms for her.

She crawls into your side, cuddling you while groaning lightly.

“Do you wanna take a bath first? Or do you wanna eat dinner? Maybe take a nap first? You’ve been streaming for 13 hours baby, your eyes are probably tired now.” You say, running your free hand through her hair

“Naps and cuddles please.” she mumbles, her head buried in the crook of your neck

“Okay baby, I’ll just put AOT on, oh wait. Hmm, Jujutsu Kaisen sounds great right now. No, wait even better, Ouran Highschool Host Club.” You go to turn your head to ask Rae, but you see her asleep.

You chuckle quietly, knowing Rae, she can overwork herself, sit on a chair for 13 hours, playing various video games, while you really can’t see yourself play videogames for 13 hours straight, you admire that she has the patience and energy to do that.

Smiling, you lower the volume of the Anime that you’re watching, slowly pull the blankets up as Rae shifts closer to you, clinging like a koala. Mika jumps up and settles in between the two of you, Your smile widens at the feel of things, the calmness, the silence, the tranquility and the sense of home, something that only Rae can provide. Something that you have been looking for ever since your career took off. The constant trips to the studio, the paparazzi, the world tours, the concerts, the interviews, everything, everything was worth it when you know you’re coming home to her.

You didn’t even know how you got to where you are now, cuddled into Rae, the comfort streamer you never thought you would meet, even when you mostly stayed where she stayed... Dating her was a dream, you didn’t believe it at first, she quickly proved that dream theory wrong when she kissed you, under the rain. As cliché as it seems, that was the day you both silently agreed to never let go of each other and take care of each other even if the other is half way across the world.

Even if dating her means also dating her room mates and her chat...

You would never trade it for anything.

Even if you knew she would scream her ears off once she knows that you have a whole album that’s inspired and dedicated to her.

#valkyrae #valkyrae imagines #valkyrae imagine #valkyrae x reader #valkyrae fanfiction #valkyrae x fem reader #valkyrae x female reader #fluff #im soft #rae x reader

303 notes · View notes

hatsukeii · 4 years

Note

One where y/n has been obviously in love with Tsuki since they were kids and not afraid to show it, but he’s always been lowkey mean to her and thinks she’s annoying and then finally years later she decides he’s not a nice guy and let’s him know she’s fine with all that crap and then he realizes he’s falling for her and does something really sweet for her and they fall in love? 😭😭🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ty in advance. Sorry if this is too long or specific, if it is, feel free to ignore

I genuinely hope you didn’t think I would actually ignore this<33

IM SORRY IM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR ILY ALL AND YOU ALL DESERVE AN APOLOGY FROM ME

Dear diary//Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k+

Warnings: Cursing

Genre: Angst??? I guess???

Summary: He’s an ass, but you still love him to bits, and it’s killing you.

July 16, 2008

Dear Diary,

I got to play with Tsukki again! He had his dino with him, it was super cute! He told me his front teeth came off last night, and there’s a big hole in his teeth, but it’s okay, because he said it will grow back. I tried to hold his hand while going down the twin slides but he said it was sweaty, so next time I’ll wear gloves!

You flip through the hot pink diary, cringing at your young infatuation. Your diary entries were cringey as fuck, but they always rekindle something within you whenever you read them. You can’t even remember when you stopped writing in the book. Was it when you turned 10? Maybe 12? You don’t have a single clue.

April 30, 2011

Dear Diary,

Tsukki refused to marry me in the playground at break:(( I’ve known him for so long though, aren’t we supposed to get married? I just wanna hold his hand and hug him and give him a biiiiig kiss<33

Chuckling at the memory, you recalled the event from that entry clearly. You were seven years old only, still an immature kid. You still thought that getting married in a middle school playground was a huge milestone in life, almost as crucial as a legal marriage.

May 29, 2016

Dear Diary,

Love how Tsukki didn’t even remember my birthday:,) Must be nice getting made fun of. Half the students in my class felt my second hand embarrassment from when he completely forgot about it. God, why am I even in love with this asshole? I’m gonna have to go to school tomorrow and deal with all my classmates making fun of me for being hopeless. Brb, currently digging a hole for myself:)

Frowning at the memory, you think back to when you were twelve. He was an asshole then, still is an asshole to this day. And yet not an ounce of your unconditional love and support for him has faded. Grabbing a tissue, you wipe the remaining tears from your eyes, ignoring the dried tear stains on your cheek. Your hand slams onto the bedside table, lazily feeling for your phone. Tilting it towards your face, you sigh at the empty lock screen, accepting defeat. Flicking through the rest of the book, you are welcomed by pages and pages of white. “So that’s when I gave up on this diary...” you mutter to yourself as you lift yourself up from your bed. Heading towards your desk, you absentmindedly grab yourself a pen, notebook in hand. Slamming the diary down, you open it up to the next entry page after your last one, gently placing the tip of your pen on the first line. You grab your hair out of frustration, the ink bleeding into the thin paper. “What to do, what to do...?” You mumble, starting to form sentences in your notebook.

July 17, 2020

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while hasn’t it? Holy shit, all my entries were about Tsukki weren’t they? Jesus, of course they were. At least I was able to get it off my chest this afternoon. Telling him that I’ve been in love with him for years, that was fucking terrifying. Telling him that although I know he’s an ass, an animatronic dick complete with ballsack, that won’t stop me from falling harder, it was gut wrenching, but also relieving to a certain degree. I’m still waiting for some form of response, although I’m not sure I’m gonna get one anytime soon. I can’t decide whether telling him was the dumbest or bravest decision I’ve made. Maybe it was both. Just wait until I look back on this entry like a decade later and still cry about it lmao. Tbh he’s a genuinely nice person at heart. I know that all too well. He may be an ass most the time, and he may think I’m annoying, but despite how hard he tries to push me away, I’ll never abandon him. Jesus Christ, I sound like a yandere here, but it’s not that. It’s that I care for him a lot. Maybe even a bit too much. It’s ridiculous how absolute and utter shit a crush can make you feel.

Throwing the pen down, you flop back onto your bed, huffing into the thick blankets. You stay silent, not sure of what to think of the situation. “I’ll just deal with it all tomorrow, I’m tired of this shit.”

On the other side of the incident, Tsukishima is currently going through a mental crisis.

The blond sits at his desk, eyes unwavering, but focusing on nothing. It feels as if he hasn’t blinked in what seemed to be hours. Just hours of staring at his wall that led to nothing. Your confession plays in his head nonstop, like a broken record that refused to run out of battery.

“The thing is I like you. I’m pretty sure I always have. And I know that you’re such an asshole and all that, you won’t treat me as well as people would expect, but it’s fine. I’m fine with all that. All the dumb, stupid, careless insults you’ll throw at me, the side eyes and sneers, telling me to shut up and go away, I’m fine with it. I know you’re a good person, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Well shit what the fuck do you want me to say?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

Maybe he should have let you down slowly.

But as he stares at his wall, the photos of the two of you framed and balanced on his floating shelves, he starts to reconsider his feelings.

The way your expression faltered then as you hastily took your bag and rushed away without a single word, the way you avoided him in the halls, the way you stopped talking to him throughout the day, it drove him crazy. He couldn’t handle the realisation that he hurt you so incredibly badly, so now all he can do is stare at his empty, blank wall. Did he know why he felt that way? No. He didn’t and still doesn’t. He’s Tsukishima fucking Kei, the emotionless, provoking, unlikeable king, yet a mere girl is somehow able to mess with his mind so badly, that all he can do is wallow in regret and confusion? What is this weird feeling? His throat itches, his heart is beating like crazy, sweat starting to gather around his temples. He clamps his two hands together, slamming his forehead onto them and squeezing his eyes shut.

How could I have been so dense?

How was he unable to see that you were absolutely in love with him? Even with the bento boxes, birthday gifts, constant compliments, he still only ever thought you liked him as a friend. However he never did. He likes you more than that. Way more. Yes, he thought, and still thinks you can be annoying at times, especially when you nag at him about not eating enough or being rude, but it was undeniable that there was something else he felt. But his stupid ass shitty ego would never let him admit it. And now that you finally confessed, he freaked out and fucked up. Even then, he didn’t think it would affect him to this extent.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you (Y/N).”

He says that over and over again, desperate to cloud out the disagreeing thoughts in his head that scream otherwise.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

The guilt didn’t go away.

In fact, now that he’s said all that, he feels even worse. Oh how much he wants to find you right this second, wrap you in his arms, tell you how incredibly sorry he is, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to do that. His heart is begging for him to just get out of the house and run to yours as fast as he could, but his body won’t move. He wants to cry. Scream. Shout. Throw something. Shatter something. But most of all, he wants to get another chance.

Picking up his phone, he hesitates, before typing in your contact, the cleared out, empty chatroom showing up on his screen. Going as fast as his fingers could, he typed out the one sentence he’s been dying to let out.

“It was a middle school crush, but I’m still into you. I always have been.”

Is it just me, or is this bad-

Idk man it seems like all my fics are pretty much the same and I hate it😌

Tags:

@sunshines-and-tatertots @izzyphantomgamer @justachillgirl @trashcanweeb @just-another-bored-writer @poppirocks @majorfangirl37 @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @tiger1719 @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu @skyeackermans @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @shoutsukii @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @kuroo-thought-of-a-better-un @sneezefiction @bokutokoutarou @thirstyvolleyballhoe @iwaixiumi @iwaigroomi @inlwlevi

Feel free to comment or pm to be added to taglist!

I’m back to writing lmao I’m bored in two week quarantine rn

Edit: cue me realising I was half asleep and missed something in the request don’t be surprised if I repost this💀💀💀💀

Btw the hq manga just ended time to cry

💕💕💕💕

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

Text

𝐼 𝑊𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑁𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑀𝑜𝑟𝑒

𝐵𝑜𝑘𝑢𝑡𝑜 𝐾𝑜𝑢𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑜 𝑋 𝐺𝑁!𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

So we spin the wheel of HQ misfortune (yes, I actually have an app with all the characters I feel comfortable writing rn and spin it when I’m out of ideas) (yes it works this is how you guys get your content) and I decided Y’know what. I’m gonna make my friend happy so I made @sugasfanfics a wheel and bam it landed on Bokuto so here you go bro love u hope you like this

This is half self-indulgent half for u Em lol sorry

Remember not only are your problems valid but the way you deal with them is, too (as long as it’s not hurting yourself or anyone else, please don’t do that—). Even if it’s a fictional boy you love, remember that someone always cares about you. I promise.

Kinda half edited lol bad grammar & spelling mistakes.

CW//light swearing

Word Count: 876

Reader Info: GN!Reader, fukurodani third year student

Ao3 link

Masterlist

You’d been on edge the entire day. Who knew how it started, you just felt like hell the whole day and everything got on your nerves. Whether it was kids in class or the volleyball that collided with your shoulder while you were trying to do homework, everything seemed to want to set you off today.

“Dammit,” you curse under your breath, rubbing your shoulder. You hit the ball back to one of the boys, who gladly picked it up with a quick “sorry!” and ran back on the court.

You were at Bokuto’s practice—the two of you were supposed to hang out afterward, but really, you were ready to go home and sleep for several hours. You felt bad canceling, though, so just tried to keep your cool long enough to get through the rest of your evening.

Soon enough, they broke for water and Bokuto came running over to you with a smile on his face. “(Y/N), baby, did you see that AWESOME spike? Didn't I look cool? Akaashi said I look cool!”

“I just said it was good, Bokuto.” Akaashi walked past, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Eh, same difference.” He shrugged. “Did ya see it, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah, it was great, Bokuto.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his proud drop to a pout. You could have sworn his hair started drooping too. Rarely did you ever call him by his full name—when you did, it usually meant you were mad at him for something.

He sat down next to you, his lower lip sticking out like a child’s. “Baby, did I...do something?” he asked, running his hand through his hair.

“You’re fine,” you sigh. “It’s just...been a long day, alright? Not your fault.”

He nodded solemnly, offering his hand for yours. When you gave it to him, he kissed each of your knuckles, “let me make it up to you when we get to my place, okay? Parents aren’t home tonight, we can cuddle and watch a movie, yeah?”

“Alright,” you reply as he kissed your hand again. “Quit worrying about me and go be my big, strong Ace of Fukurodani, hm?”

Bokuto grinned and nodded. He took a sip of water before running back onto the court, leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

The walk home was less enthusiastic than usual, almost like Bokuto didn’t know what to say. You let him talk as much as he wanted, but he stayed quiet for the most part, watching you intently as you walked.

The two of you walked into his house and took off your shoes. Bokuto offered some food, but you declined, your irritation from earlier sinking into melancholia.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” he asked, setting his school bag down. You opened your mouth to protest—he had homework to do—but he interrupted. “Homework can wait. I’m worried about you, sweetheart. Wanna talk?”

He held your shoulders, checking your face for any sign of what was wrong. He was still more droopy than normal—not his usual excited, eccentric self—and you could tell by his worried expression.

“There isn’t much to say,” you sigh, putting your hand over one of his. “Just...long day, I guess. Burnt out.”

“Do you want a hug?”

“I wouldn’t complain about one.”

He pulled you in close, dropping his arms to wrap around your waist. You laid your forehead on his shoulder, content to stay like that for a long time.

Just as you’d gotten comfy, he started moving, inching you backward until your legs hit the edge of his mattress. He pulled away long enough to crawl in and drag you with him. You laid your head on his chest, feeling his thumb draw shapes into your side.

“What’s really on your mind, love?” he asked, kissing the top of your head. “I get worried when you don’t talk to me. So please do.”

“There’s not even anything specifically right now, I just...I feel like hell. For no reason. I didn’t wanna tell you because I didn’t want you worrying—“

You stopped as he tilted his head up towards you. The look he gave you made you freeze, unsure what else to say. He traced your features, smiling in encouragement. “I am always going to worry about you. That’s my job. I’m your forever-caring, amazing, loving boyfriend and I’m always going to care for you. I want you to talk to me when you feel like hell, even if it’s because you want to scream into oblivion for a while. If that’s the case, I’ll scream with you. Alright?”

“Alright,” you mumble, burying your face in his chest again. “I’ll keep it in mind. Do you want to just...I dunno, lay here? Just for now?”

“I would want nothing more.”

He kissed your head again, the small circles he drew on your arm soothing your cluttered mind. You knew you needed to talk one day—even if it was just the recent stuff without getting into in-depth character analysis of yourself—but for the time being, you knew you had someone there to help you face whatever demons you needed to. Because he always would be.

Your precious, forever-caring, amazing, loving boyfriend, Bokuto Kotaro.

Alright you guys are welcome to scroll through this part just a little rant/apology from me

My brain has not been doing so hot lately so I can’t guarantee a constant posting schedule. I tried posting like 1-2 times a week but this is the first full thing I’ve written in several weeks and I’m sorry about that. It’s like 1:30 am when I’m writing this so this is probably gonna be jumbled up a lot but just.

Brain hates me and I hate brain rn and it says I have No Motivation to do Anything. Only reason I got this out was bc of @sugasfanfics which she doesn’t even know I wrote this till I post it lol

Also this was supposed to be for her but like I said it kinda turned into I’m depressed and need comfort so. Yeah. Bokuto.

I hope you guys enjoyed & I’m sorry about not writing as much as I should be. Thank you for bearing with me and for all the reblogs I can’t tell you how happy they make me.

Sending love to you all <3

~𝑆𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑟

#bokuto kotaro #bokuto #akaashi #akaashi keiji #bokuto x reader #bokuto x gn reader #I decided to write this at 1 am rather than sleeping #fml #anyway i hope its good #i hope im not forgetting tags lol #hurt/comfort #angst #angsty fluff #bittersweet #hes a good boyfriend okay #i love this man a lot #//ᴏʀɪɢɴᴀʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ #//ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ

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masc-reader-insertss · 4 years

Text

Comfort- kyle spencer

i'm rewatching coven rn and i've been thinking about writing this for so loooong. reader is a warlock staying at the academy, and he and kyle have been dating for over a year when kyle dies. after his boyfriends death he completely shuts down, until he finds out that he has been resurrected by zoe and madison. reader runs to kyle's house to see him, only to find him covered in blood, terrified and confused.

TW!! mentions of death, sexual abuse, dysphoria, suicidal thoughts and self harm

——

y/n had seen a lot of death in his life. at only five, he's been the sole survivor of the brutal murders in his home. the event had traumatised him, and left affected him how whole life. after his parents murder, he had been taken in by his grandmother, and she became the one he was closest too. she taught him everything he knew about witchcraft, he'd been raised on tradition, just like his grandmother had, and when his powers began to show when he'd turned sixteen she had been there to guide him. he was a psychic, only able to see the past at first. as soon as he made contact with someone, he could see into their past. not long after his powers first manifested, he was overwhelmed with death again. his grandmother had fallen gravely ill, a brain tumour was the diagnosis. she's only lasted another week, and y/n was destroyed. on the day of his grandmother's funeral, already so emotionally drained from loosing his only other parental figure, he'd been told that his powers were becoming too strong to go without proper guidance anymore, and since his grandmother had passed, he'd be forced to attend an academy. he was supposed to be sent off to one of the most prestigious warlock academies in the country, but it was clear he would never be able to afford such a place, his grandmother hadn't had much money at all, and it was not anywhere near enough to pay for such a school like that. luckily for him, his grandmother was a very well known, and prized ex student of the robichaux academy, and though there had never been an exception like this before, due to his grandmother status, and the most unfortunate circumstances, cordelia had been willing to help him.

y/n had always been quiet after all he'd been through. he kept to himself most of the time. he'd only been at the party where he'd met kyle because he'd forced himself to try to and finally make friends. he'd already wanted leave only ten minuets into the party, it was all too loud for him, and the smell of alcohol was overwhelming. y/n was sat down on the stairs outside, holding an untouched drink in his hands and staring down at it. "you're new around here, right?" y/n was startled at the sudden voice next to him, and he looked over to the source. a boy his age, with curly blonde hair and the prettiest brown eyes that y/n had ever seen. "yeah.. never been to a party before" he gave a small smile before he spoke up again. "too many drunk people.. not my crowd" kyle laughed, shaking his head a little and holding his hand out for y/n's cup. "i can get you some water, if you want" he offered, and y/n felt his smile widen as he handed the alcohol to the other teen. "thank you.." he gave a small hum, and looked back at his lap, playing with his hands. it seemed like this party wasn't so bad after all.

that night was the first of many that they spent together. kyle was the only person y/n ever fully opened up to after loosing his grandmother. not even a month after they first started talking they developed feelings for each other. any free time they had they spent together, y/n always felt happy with him, and every time they touched, even if y/n always had to keep his hands covered due to his powers, his face would flush red, and he didn't miss the way kyle would look away, as if he were trying to hide his own blush. surprisingly, y/n had been the one to make the first move. they were both curled up on kyle's bed watching a movie when y/n spoke up. "i got something i need to tell you" y/n looked over at kyle, his nerves growing as he waited for a response. kyle hummed quietly and reached for the remote to pause the movie. y/n was different to anyone else kyle had met before, he felt more comfortable with him than he'd felt with anyone else. he was the first person that he hadn't grown up around that he'd come out to, and of course y/n accepted him, in fact he was the only person to know who didn't see him any differently afterwards. "what's up" he smiled, tilting his head a little while he listened to y/n

y/n hesitated before he continued to speak, biting his lip a little. "i- i like you kyle, like.. really like you" he spoke so quietly kyle almost couldn't hear him. "and i know you probably don't feel the same way but i just- i needed to tell you and.." before y/n could even think he leant in to kiss kyle, and as soon as their lips touched y/n knew that kyle felt the same way, he could see it. when they both pulled back they both grinned at each other, and kyle took y/n's gloved hands, holding them gently. "i like you too" he leant in to kiss y/n again, at least he attempted to, but all he could do was smile against his lips, and y/n did the same, letting out a giggle. after everything he'd had to deal with in his life, y/n was finally finding happiness.

y/n was always there for kyle no matter what, there were countless nights spent with y/n holding kyle close and comforting him while he cried in his arms, overcome with dysphoria. y/n would always kiss away his tears and gently run his hands through his hair to soothe him while he reassured him that he was the most handsome man he’d ever seen, and it would always end with kyle falling asleep curled up against him. y/n had never know. what true love felt like till he met kyle, and kyle always told him that he felt the same. the two were so madly in love with each other, there was no denying it.

the night of the party y/n had a feeling something was going to go wrong. it was a gut feeling that he had, and he just couldn't shake it. kyle could tell that something was wrong the moment he'd walked through the door, and when he came up behind y/n to wrap his arms around him he'd flinched. kyle had never seen him flinch before. "hey, what's wrong?" he frowned gently as he leant in to press a kiss to y/n's cheek, and y/n signed quietly, placing his hands over top of kyle's hands. "i just.. feel weird.. like something's off" he mumbled, turning his head to kiss kyle for a moment. "if you don't wanna be here, we can go hang out in the frat's bus till the party's over" he offered, but y/n just shook his head. "i'm sure it's nothing.. i'll be fine" he forced a smile and looked up at kyle. he didn't want to ruin the party for his boyfriend, whatever it was, it couldn't have been anything severe. he would have been able to see whatever it was if he needed to, he was sure of it, but when he'd seen kyle run off frantically after the rest of his frat brothers not even half way into the party though, he began to wonder if he'd been wrong.

y/n began follow after his boyfriend till he was joined by zoe. "those sick fucks- they hurt madison!" she yelled, and y/n frowned in confusion, following zoe out of the house as they chased after the group. "kyle was chasing after them, like he was pissed at them or something.." he mumbled. before they even had a chance of catching up with any of the guys from the frat though, the bus was already speeding off down the road. "they can't get away with this.." zoe whispered as they both watched the bus. "whatever they did.. kyle won't let them get away with it" y/n looked over at madison as she joined them silently, and he pulled off one of his gloves to gently place his hand on her arm, and what he saw made him want to be sick. he knew now why kyle had been so frantic as he left.

y/n wrapped his arms around himself as he looked back at the bus. "how could anyone-" y/n was cut off when he watched the bus his boyfriend was in go flying through the air, and in that moment he could feel his heart stop. the bus tumbled down the road, and y/n brought his hands up to his mouth in a silent scream, dropping to his knees. the world around him seemed to fall silent as he hit the pavement below him, he could only hear a distant screaming, and he soon realised it was his own as he curled over on the ground, sobs of pain radiating through him. the bus had come to a stop now, and y/n scrambled to get up, his shaking legs giving out each time he tried to stand. "kyle- oh god" he whimpered, looking over at the bus that lay still only a few yards down the road. the love of his life was in that bus right now, and y/n already knew he was dead. he understood now what that feeling deep down inside was now, and kyle was dead because he hadn't listen to that feeling.

y/n shut himself off after that night. he had barley slept, every time he closed his eyes he saw kyle's lifeless eyes staring back at him, and he would break out into hysterical sobs, clawing at himself till he bled. nothing anyone could say would bring him any comfort, and he spent almost all of him days curled up in his bed staring at the wall till he would inevitably pass out from sleep deprivation, and even then, the nightmares would wake him up not long after. it was always the same one, the morgue, kyle's mutilated body laying on the examination table, and he'd always wake up screaming again. all he wanted was to be wrapped up in his arms again, without kyle it felt like a part of him was missing, and he'd never feel whole again.

"y/n.. you have to talk to us" zoe sat outside the door to y/n's room, leaning her head against the door. y/n hadn't spoken a word to anyone since the night kyle died, and they were all worried about him. they could all see just how much y/n and kyle loved each other, any time they were around each other it was obvious, it was the only time y/n ever truly smiled, and so they all knew just how much it killed him when he died. that was why when madison had suggested the absolutely insane idea of bringing kyle back to life, she had agreed. it was risky, they barley knew what they were doing, and it was even more risky when they decided to give him a new body, it didn't feel right to bring him back in the body that had caused him so much pain before he died. they weren't even sure if it would actually work, but when it did, it was obvious that it hadn't worked the way they intended it to. kyle was alive, but he didn't seem at all human.

zoe wanted to tell y/n that kyle was alive, but she felt like seeing him this way would only hurt him even more. they'd tried everything they could to fix him, but nothing worked. it was a last ditch attempt, the only thing she could think of that might help fix him would be to take him back home. there was a small click, the sound of y/n turning the lock, and then the door slid open, y/n slowly peaking out from the open door. "i miss him" was all he said, and he sounded so broken that zoe just had to tell him. "he's alive.. we brought him back but- but he's not.. him" zoe looked over at y/n, and his eyes widened at her words. "where is he?" y/n whispered, his mind raced as he tried to process what he'd just heard. "he's at his house, i wasn't gonna tell you yet because something went wrong.." y/n leapt forward and threw his arms around zoe, hugging her as tight as he could. "thank you" his eyes brimmed with tears, but for the first time since that night, they were tears of happiness. kyle was alive, and he was going to see him again.

no matter how many times zoe tried to warn him, y/n didn't listen. the only thought on his mind was seeing his love again. as y/n arrived at kyle's house, he could immediately sense something was wrong. the door was already open when he went to knock, and when he called out, there was silence. slowly he made his way through the eerily silent house, and when he reached kyle's room, he let out a gasp at the gruesome sight in front of him. kyle's mother lay dead on the floor, her head wide open. y/n stumbled back in shock, spinning around when he backed into something. it was kyle, he was standing right in front of him, covered in blood. y/n was silent for a moment as he looked up at him, tears rolling down his face when he finally spoke "what did you do kyle.." he whispered as he slipped off his gloves and reached up to cup kyle's face, flinching when his wrists were grabbed. "i'm not gonna hurt you" he spoke gently, looking up into kyle's terrified and confused eyes, and when kyle slowly released his grip y/n reached up to hold his face, his eyes widening while he let out a sob at everything that flashed through his mind. "oh god.. i'm so sorry" he cried as he pulled his hand back, throwing his arms around kyle. kyle let out a grunt, leaning against y/n as his arms hung limply at his sides. y/n could see now what zoe meant. kyle was here, but he was different, in a bad way.

y/n pulled back and looked up at kyle, reaching a hand up to brush his hair out of his face. "you're covered in blood.. let's get you cleaned up" he spoke softly, taking kyle's hands to gently lead him to the bathroom. he could see the scar around his neck under his shirt collar, and it made his heart hurt to think about just what he looked like before he'd been sewn back together. kyle could only let out groans and grunts as y/n set him down on the edge of the bath. y/n hesitantly reached his hands forward to begin to unbutton his shirt, his eyes widening as he slipped it off of him. "they didn't tell me they did this.." he whispered as he ran a hand over kyle's chest, looking up at him. kyle stared back at him blankly, and y/n knew he probably couldn't understand a word he said. it was like he wasn't even human anymore.

y/n helped kyle into the bath kneeling down to run his hand through his hair. "i'm so sorry.. i should have known something was gonna go wrong that night.. i could have stopped this" y/n watched kyle with tears in his eyes as he stared back blankly at him. "i wish you would just talk to me" kyle reached a hand out shakily and slowly placed it on y/n's cheek, and y/n leant into his touch, closing his eyes for a moment. it didn't feel right, this wasn't kyle. not really. he was only a shell, barely even living. y/n pulled back from kyle's touch to start washing the blood from him. kyle would flinch every few moments, and y/n pulled away after a few minuets with a quiet sigh. "you're making this much more difficult than it needs to be" he mumbled and shook his head, reaching for a towel. he turned around, holding his arms out for kyle to come towards him.

before y/n had even realised his mistake it was too late. kyle shot up from the bath in panic, and y/n stepped back, looking up at him. "i'm sorry kyle, i didn't mean to-" kyle let out a yell, swinging his arms out at y/n, who fell back with a yelp as he was hit in the chest. nothing he could say would calm kyle down, all he could do was cower against the wall as kyle yelled and screamed and stomped around. "i'm sorry.." he whimpered, pulling his knees to his chest as he watched kyle. kyle tugged at his hair as he stomped around. he could hear y/n trying to talk to him, and he wanted to talk back so bad, but he just /couldn't/. he didn't know how. no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't get the words out, and it made him so frustrated that all he could do was scream. he didn't want to hurt anyone, but he couldn't control himself. he was scared, so scared, he didn't understand what was wrong with him. he could see y/n, and he was scared, terrified, of /him/. kyle dropped down to his knees in front of y/n, tugging at his hair with a quiet sob. all he wanted was to be normal again, he was sick of being this monster.

y/n hesitantly moved forward to wrap his arms around kyle, and this time kyle hugged him back, burying his face in y/n's neck as he let out another broken sob, mumbling incoherently. y/n held kyle close, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, just like he’d done so many other nights, before all of this had torn their lives apart. "it's gonna be okay, i've got you.. i promise i'll take care of you this time" y/n whispered, stroking kyle's hair gently as he clung to him. y/n didn't know what he was going to do, but he knew that he had to fix kyle, he had to be there for him, he /wouldn't/ fail him this time.

#kyle spencer x male reader #kyle #kyle spencer #ahs #ahs coven #male reader #mlm reader #mlm #achillian #achillian reader #gay fiction #lgbt

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snickiebear · 3 years

Note

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you.

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them.

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD.

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL.

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A.

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH.

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about.

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay.

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time.

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps.

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing.

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.”

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic.

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

#silly things from silly friends

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nolongerwrites · 4 years

Text

Lemme just repost this because my dumbass deleted it by accident a couple of weeks ago 💀

I know the lyrics are misplaced I’m too lazy to fix it rn

How to disappear

“Cuts on his face 'cause he fought too hard”

“I know he's in over his head”

“But I love that man like nobody can”

“He moves mountains and pounds them to ground again”

“I watched the guys getting high as they fight For the things that they hold dear”

“To forget the things they fearThis is how to disappear...”

It had been almost 4-5 years since you’d last seen him. Last you’d Seen the way he’d smile at you when you would walk in the room. The way you would wrap your arms around him from behind when you thought he least expected it, the way you’d cuddle up against him at night like it was the only way you could sleep, the addictive kisses you’d share when no one was watching.

Dazai and you were inseparable. Everyone in the port mafia knew you two were basically connected at the hip. They would talk about the way you two would sneak off and do god knows what when you were supposed to be working. But that was a long time ago. When he disappeared leaving only a note on what had happened and why he needed to leave, it felt as if your whole heart had been torn up to pieces and set on fire.

You were mad. Upset. Confused. Why didn’t he take you with him? Had everything you’d done together and the time spent with each other meant nothing?

You knew odasaku was his best friend but weren’t you also? It may have been selfish of you to think that way but After Dazai’s disappearance you fell into a deep state of depression. You became a completely different person from the way you carried yourself to the lack of sympathy for others. Everyone in the mafia stood clear of you even on assignments and in the halls of the mafias headquarters.

You killed without a second thought unlike before and It didn’t matter who it was you were interrogating, if they didn’t speak up the first time you tortured them until they spilt the info you were looking for only for you to kill them off brutally.

You had become one of the most dangerous and ruthless executives the mafia had, even chuuya wouldn’t try and mess with you.

“Cry on his shoulder 'cause life is hard”

“The waves came in over my head”

“What you been up to, my baby?”

“I haven't seen you 'round here lately “

Fast forward those painful years and here you were now, On your way to inspect a wear house down at the port that supposedly had some suspicious looking figures lurking around it.

Mori had assigned you to just take a look at take out anyone who didn’t look like his men. But

halfway there, as you were driving in one of the cars belonging to the mafia, you had gotten a call from chuuya.

You picked up your phone and answered it hoping it was just another assignment so you could go home and sleep. You were awfully exhausted.

“What’s up” you stated blankly as you turned a corner. “You might wanna come back. Mori specifically asked for you..” chuuya sounded like he was nervous to talk to you. More than normal. “I’m already half way there can’t he wait-“ you were cut off as chuuya called your name sternly.

“ we have a prisoner that needs to be interrogated, a former mafia member..” there was a pause on your end that racked his nerves to the core, yet he continued on.

“... you can probably take a guess who it is...” the car had stopped before he could even finish that sentence. Your grip on the steering wheel was insanely tight, you were surprised you hadn’t broke it already. Blank clouded eyes stared on into the empty road in front of you and as a few minutes past, you could hear chuuya clear his throat which prompted to snap you out of your daze.

“I’ll be right there.” Was all you said as you hung up and turned your car around. Something inside you said you knew exactly who it was

“All of the guys tell me lies, but you don't”

“You just crack another beer”

“And pretend that you're still here”

“This is how to disappear”

Your footsteps echoed through the hall with every slow step you took. You were full of every kind of emotion you could possibly feel. Your ability felt like it was going to erupt like a bird set free from its cage. With every new step you took, your body was telling you to go back. You wouldn’t be able to handle it. But this was the job you’ve devoted yourself to, and you weren’t going to back out now. Chuuya had warned everyone in the building before you got there so the halls were practically empty.

They’d heard the rumors about you and they didn’t dare cross your path in a situation like this. Before you knew it you were in front of the door to the dark, empty brick room used to interrogate.

You took a deep breath a few times in an attempt to calm the beast inside you. You counted to three before slowly opening the door to the room..Dazai stood there chained to the wall by his wrists, waiting for someone to walk in. Of course being dazai, he was singing some song about a double suicide. It had been a while since anyone had come down here. Worst case scenario, that short asshole Chuuya would come down and maybe give him a punch or two (or more likely try and kill him).

What he didn’t expect however, was to see your silhouette standing at the top of the stairs. The second he saw you standing there, in your black, ankle long skirt and grey ruffled blouse that slid off your shoulders exposing the skin of your collar bones and neck which was covered in black cloth like a choker, dazai felt his whole body freeze.

“This is how to disappear”

His eyes were wide with shock as you stepped foot by foot down the stairs. The black heels you were wearing clicked and echoed through the musty room. Before he knew it you were only about 3 feet in front of him.

You never lost eye contact with dazai even as you stopped directly in front of him. Nothing was said. The silence was deafening. It wasn’t until he let out a shaky breath and looked to the floor, that his smile from before returned. When he looked back up to you he could see the pain and mixed emotions behind those empty eyes.

The same eyes that would look at him lovingly the nights the both of them spent in his bed together. The same eyes that told him countless times that they’d loved him more than words could describe. The same eyes that had touched his heart like no other person could. It hurt him to see that they were so empty and clouded now. A distant gaze that would have him dead if looks could kill.

“Its been a while hasn’t it? You’ve gotten taller..” but before he could continue on about the things that had changed about you, His cheek felt like it was on fire. You were standing directly in front of him in a split second, hand colliding with his face as dark purple serpent created of smoke and poison manifested behind you standing almost 12 feet tall.

but it only stood there unmoving no matter how many times you commanded it to attack. Your hand colliding with his cheek again in a fit of rage.

Before he could even react, your knee reached his abdomen in a striking kick to the gut. Hit after hit, you kept going until you could no longer hold onto the pure raw emotion that was going through your head. And for the first time in years, Your grunting turned into sobs, and sobs into screams.

You hit him until your last punch was nothing more that a slight push. You felt weak. Tears had been streaming down onto your shirt and they wouldn’t stop. Dazai spit some blood on the floor before turning his gaze to you again. You were facing the floor as your body shook and trembled with every sob that wracked through you.

“‘it’s been a while’? ‘ITS BEEN A WHILE’??! Really dazai?! That’s ALL you have to say? After what you put me through after you left!? After everything we did?? That’s all you have to say..?!?”.

Dazais heart felt like it was shattering. When you looked back up to him he saw your puffy red eyes and face. The pain from your assaults were nothing compared to the look you were giving him as salty tears rolled down your cheeks. He said nothing.

Even as the blood from his head dripped onto the floor between you both. In almost a second, the chains and cuffed that kept him against the wall were broken and before you knew what had happened he enveloped you in what was literally was a bone crushing embrace.

You screamed and hit at him in an attempt to push him off you which only made him hold onto you tighter. The serpent faded away with his touch and disappeared into the air. You eventually stopped hitting him as your knees felt too weak to hold your body up.

You both dropped to the floor. Dazai did not once letting his grip slack, even as he carried all your weight. He buried his face into your hair as he rocked you back and forth with each cry you let out.

It wasn’t until you slowly put your hands on his back did you feel his own tears fall onto your shoulder. “I’m so sorry... I’m so so sorry...” dazais voice was barely a whisper in your ear. “I loved you so much dazai... I loved you more than anything... why didn’t you take me with you...?” you gripped his coat as you continued to cry in his arms.

“I’m sorry...”

“The California sun and the movie stars”

“I watched the skies getting light as I write As I think about those years”

“As I whisper in your ear”

“I'm always going to be right here”

“No one's going anywhere..”

#bsd dazai #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #angst #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #BSD #bungou stray dogs #im retarded okay #idek how i deleted it #Spotify #it was one of my first works on here ik its bad

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peachbearies · 3 years

Note

omg ion know if ur taking. Requests rn but I was wondering just a cute lil imagine bout zion in which the reader and him are dating and it's they're one yr aniversary or sum idk lol but just zion being a cutie and telling how much he loves her and shiii (because we all know that his ass acts all big and bad but he is a 6'4 teddy bear irl) yaa ik that was supper cringey but shehej yee okay byee (ur an amazing writer btw I've read all ur work and may I saY I stan 💖)

Promise: Z.kuwonu

Requested

›› Synopsis: it’s your first anniversary with Zion, around this trademark period it makes you apprehensive but Zion reminds you how much

›› Genre: Fluff

›› Paring: Female Reader x Zion Kuwonu

›› Warnings: Slightly hinted nsfw, lots of cursing (I mean it Zion so…), a little glimpse of toxic behavior.

›› A/N: what?! This is not cringe at all baby! I admire cheesy romantic headcanons/ imagines like this. My likes and drafts are filled with fluffs or angst to fluff🤧. I’m sorry this is a tad bit delinquent And thank you for reading my work that means a lot I’ve been exploring a lot of vocabulary words to scrutinize my writing, this may be a long one I apologize I got too into it.

The marvels of what a year could do. From going through a hurricane of songster roaring at each other, the strikes of austere comments leading up to the thunderstorm of a anguish. Your ex-fiancé cheated on, with considerable women before you found out. The ring on your finger was nothing but a reflector and leverage for him, he wanted to appear a saint to the kingdom, but a devil in the moonlight. Apologizing and buttering you up like a slice of bread, didn’t make you dawdle.

Your lucidity and rectitude were more caliber than staying, so you moved out of your shared apartment a week later, during the rotation of moving haphazardly you’ve incoherent yourself from the boys' realm, nor have your inner circle heard of you. You dissipated from the earth. And if you had to be adequate, you relished it that way, what was anyone overlooking anyways? but you were silently asking for space, you would give your leg for it.

Zion stirring in disgruntle, pushing profanities in between his gritted teeth. Don’t get mistaken he wasn’t mad you were ignoring him, just by the way your handling things on your own, he knew it had to be really fucked up if you couldn’t come to him. The veins crawling up his proffered hands outstretched for the keys. The boys jumping up in fear he may do something reckless, Brandon putting his hand in front of the boys to halt them. “Listen—even if we stop him, say anything to him or follow him, he will remotely do exactly what you think he’s going to do, you know how much he cares about (y/n), all we can do is have faith in him” Brandon confirms, but deep inside that rickety heart of his fear was kicking his ass too. They all discern Zion, once the peak of anger overflows his eyes only opines vermilion.

Zion parked in the lot, not noticing your car ghosting its rightful place. His mind was set on figuring what was wrong with you. Climbing the flight of stairs, he knocks on your door, his foot tapping the pallid base. When the door swung open it was ex-fiance, their eyes met in pique just burning to throw punches and a few sparks of curse words. “What do you want?” Your ex tempts him.

For your sake, Zion never snapped in front of him the way he should’ve. “Not you that’s for sure” commenting on his current attire, which was shirtless and some sweatpants. “Where’s (y/n)?” He queries, a scruffy ‘tsk’ pass through his lips. “Not here, that bitch moved out after she broke up with me”

Zion looked at his watch the time read 9:35 pm. “Cool, all I need is nine minutes of your time” Zion tranquility explains to him. Swinging and docking him in the throat; the girl that was staying with him bolting into the living room finding the source of the thump. She screams for Zion to get off him, after give or take six punches, Zion walks away not giving him or her the slightest sight. “If I catch you or her around y/n, better make sure you have good health care insurance and dental”

The next day he waited outside your classroom leaning his foot up against the wall; few girls noticed him but that wasn’t on his mind. When your silhouette appeared, he excused himself in a rush to catch you. “Pretty rich seeing a smile from a ghost” your heart dropped; the voice you were scared to dump your problems on.

What lie could you conjure? “Hey Zion” you breathe, turning in his direction. “That’s my fault I’m sorry, dealing with classes and moving I lost track of time” which was half correct, but it wasn’t the biggest factor. Zion tilted his head, signature hand in hoodie pocket. Closing your eyes with a heavy sigh, you knew he didn’t believe you nor did he want to push you. “Zion—“ he groped your wrist pulling you to the parking lot, he leaned on his car's hood without saying a drop of words, he wants for you to stream all your worries.

“Well, that’s half the reason. Okay, I didn't mean to go completely ghost, life just wasn't easy for me lately, I didn't want to add more dead weight to your shoulder. Sorry” zion scoffs pushing himself away from the car with no hands. But they followed the path to your jawline. ”burden on my shoulder or not, they're made for you to cry on. Stop going through things on your own alright?, as long as I'm here you don't have to sink”

Ever since you and zion grew close, a year later and he still gazes at you like a diamond. Even after a year, the astonishment gets the better of you. The insecurities start raging in, fighting in a war of love and hate. Your phone was laid upon the cherry wooden table, the vibrations frightening you, the goosebumps crawling up your arms. The name it read was “Love🤍”

“Hello?” You answer still shaken up; Zion lets out a soft scoff that vibrates through your body “you’re still in bed mamas? you should be awake beautiful” rubbing your eyes slightly, the clock flashed the numbers ‘ 2:30 pm’ your groan only makes him smile bigger.

“Goddamn I love you, look how ravishing you are in the morning” Zion's eyes shimmering in adoration. Those eyes always reflected his emotions, deep down you knew Zion loved you wholeheartedly, but the fear of having something good taken from you. That is what kept you hesitant. “No, I don’t stop lying” you stroke his ego.

“Me? Lie? Babygirl, I can’t and won’t lie to you stop playing” Zion said in a low octave, your stomach stirred in feelings “do me a favor baby” “Which is?” You reply, Zion looks over on his nightstand smiling. “Why are you smiling? Are you being mischievous again?”

“Who me? Nah” Zion shrugs off. The ringing of the doorbell distracted you from his spreading grin “answer that” sighing you walk towards the door, propping your phone on the counter, Zion moans out loud. “Maybe I should’ve slept over last night! Who told you to look that good mamas?” Ignoring his flirty antics you open the door, glimpsing at fresh bouquets of your favorite flower and a self-care basket. “Baby!!!” You screech, Zion simpers at the brightest smile on your face. The sun doesn’t shine as bright as you did at the moment.

“Why?, why are you so loving to me” you start to happy cry “Nah baby none of that, I love you too damn much for you to self-deprecate” Zion shuts your negativity down. Flipping the card over you read the message. ‘You thought I’d forget the day you changed my life? I’ve always loved you and I’ll continue to love you, but it’s not your love that I adore the most, it’s those gorgeous eyes that look back at me. Like I’m some type of angel when we all know that’s you, it’s the way you’re compassionate about others, I love your free spirit baby you’re a dove to me, even though I get under your nerves, I wouldn’t want anyone else to deal with me or my problems happy one year’

You look up at Zion, his eyes were already glossing by admiring your figure. Oh, how you wish jumping through a screen wasn’t just a cartoon thing. “Fuck” you whisper covering your face “angel, you are beautiful” Zion reminds you “stop!!! I’m in my feelings!!” You Jokingly spat at him. “What you wanna do for our anniversary it’s up to you” Zion smiles.

“Can we go to a petting zoo then get tacos?” Your eyes sparkling as your lips turn into a pout, Zion looking up towards the ceiling as his Adam’s apple points at the camera. “Yes, how could I say no” twenty minutes later Zion was at your house, complimenting you the whole car ride. Protectively and passionately rubbing circles on your knees being careful not to raise his hand any further.

“Look! Rabbits” Zion follows your finger pulling you in that direction, you sit on the bench holding the rabbit in your lap feeding it the food. Zion takes pictures of you getting the best angles, falling in love with your beauty, even more, the way the golden light bounced off your skin. It made him think twice if you were real or just a lucid dream. Feeding the monkeys were the best part, they hugged you and Zion; even gave you two kisses. The giraffes were the most exciting to you, joking to your boyfriend “wow look something taller than you”. Walking into a blue-lit aquarium a class of fish surrounded the both of you. Your finger softly touching the fish that was pressed against the glass, it followed your every move. Never realizing Zion detached his hand from yours, it hasn’t hit you until a ring was slid on your finger.

“Not an engagement ring, but soon don’t worry this is a promise ring, and I promise that you’ll feel nothing but comfort and love with me” his fingers gripped into your waist “with a side of pleasure too” you smack his shoulder while smiling ear for ear. “You promise?” “Of course I do, I wholeheartedly promise, I will never hurt or disrespect you baby, you mean too much to me”

Once you were back to the apartment your body couldn’t even make it to the bed, but Zion helped you to the bathroom. To wash off the dirt and sweat, even helped you with your skin routine. His fingers padding over every inch of your back, your soft snores in the crook of his neck. “I’m so glad to be the girlfriend of your dreams” you whisper “oh lord she’s finally figured it out!!” Zion pushes your buttons “should I send you back home?” You test him, “you wouldn’t dare, you need me tonight” Zion teases his swollen lips attacking your neck upwards your jawline, a low gruffly growl trickles down your spine.

“So is this the side of pleasure?” You press your teeth into your lower lip “if that’s what you want”

“Well, you did make a promise” wasting no time Zion straddles you, your legs wrapped around his waist, giggling at how he fumbled to remove his shirt.

“You damn right I made a promise, and I’ll show you how serious this promise is” Zion kisses up your stomach “I love you”

Your hands cupping his jaw the breathing becoming erratic “I love you too”

#prettymuch #zion kuwonu #prettymuch zion

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magic-number-3 · 3 years

Text

okay so i actually did watch a few episodes of 911 this week without liveblogging them but i did take notes as if i was liveblogging and then just,,, didnt lmao so in case anyone cares about my thoughts im going to share them anyway asdlfkjsdl mostly i think they’ll just be fun to look at later

2x02

CHRISTOPHER CAN BE ON SCREEN FOR 2 SECONDS AND I LITERALLY LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Eddie Diaz is soooooo fuckin dreamy i stgggggg

“I cant order you guys to go inside that building and im not gonna judge you if you decide not to” “Hen, you got a kid, so...” “Yeah. And I’d hope if someone whose job it was to save him they’d do it. No matter what.” QUEEN SHIT 😤😤😤

Marvin you on thin ice but you right; you a king

IM GOOD COACH HEART OF A CHAMPION WHY AM I CRYING

HEART OF CHAMP I AM CRYING AND THEY ALL KEEP SAYING IT BACK TO HIM IM- IM FRAGILE RN. LITERALLY WHY DID EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS ARC MAKE ME SO EMO

NOT HENRIETTA. FUCK

2x03

MADDIE I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU GOT THIS QUEEN

“They could really use a miracle today” “I might just have a few of those left. I see them.” ALSKFKGKS crying why is the dialogue so good in this show???

FUCK. RUSS ITS YOUR DAY OFF

Russ gonna die im calling it. They saved the athlete and they’ll probably save the little girl?? So hes not gonna make it. At least hen is okay

“Even i couldnt save me. You dont know me, but im good.” “Oh yeah? Well maybe im better”

FUCK. I called it but it still hurts

CLOSE CALL WITH THAT ELEVATOR OMGGG

ALL OF THAT ENDING??? WE CAN BE HEROES SLAPS AND IK WE BEEN KNEW BUT ALDJFKFKSKJ everything about the end to that episode is so 👌👌👌 i wanna cry

EDDIE RUNNING TO HIS BOYYYYYYYY IM

ATHENA AND BOBBY HELL YEAHHHHH the husband is a straight g pullin thru for him like that

2x04

OMG CHRISTOPHER AND EDDIE IM 🥺🥺🥺

Also Christopher is such. Lil cutie

THEIR LITTLE FAMILY!! THE ABUELA?

“These fire guys are totally hot” LAKJDFKAL I MEAN YOURE RIGHT

AKJDKLASDJ YOU LIVE IN YOUR INVISIBLE GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE AND YOURE TELLING ME ABOUT WEAK EXCUSES. THAT SMUG LOOK ON EDDIES FACE IM ASLKFJSAL

Oh sheet Eddies abuela 😞

Every interaction between Eddie and Christopher got me like 🥺🥺🥺

Okay how are you not supposed to ship Buddie they’re talking about being single together and then his aunt telling buck about how ‘he’s a saint’ and all that??? THATS SUCH ROMANTIC INTEREST SHIT. WHEN DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER GUSHING TO A MAIN CHARACTER AND THAT CHARACTER ISNT THE LOVE INTEREST????

HE BROUGHT CHRISTOPHER TO WORK AWWWWW!! THEYRE GOING ON A MISSION TOGETHER

Oooh I love this song STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

“Now I feel kind of lame” “BECAUSE YOU ARE” LMAO HEN

Ooooh yeah why do you call him chim???

BOBBY AND CHRISTOPHER. CHIM AND CHRISTOPHER. THIS IS SO CUTE

AWE EDDIE AND CAP

BOY CRUSH ON EDDIE ADLSJFLDKS

Awe good for Maddie omg 🥺🥺🥺

CHIMNEY IS A MODERN MEDICAL MIRACLE???? I mean good for him bro figured lol but for it to be said out loud shittttttt

AKSFJALSDK TATIANA SHES FUCKING MARRIED YOURE KIDDING ME HOW QUICKLY DID YOU GET MARRIED AFTER BREAKING UP WITH CHIM

alkjsdskla im losing it over Tatiana

Awww now this is sad :( chim’s got noboddddddy

Sdkljfas Buck you have GOT to move out of Abby’s place dude

‘I had a life-altering trauma and her life got altered. All I got was the trauma.’ THATS SUCH A GOOD LINE SPEAK YOUR TRUTH CHIM

YOURE MY FRIEND SHES YOUR EX. YOU GET TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON I GET TO HOLD A GRUDGE UNTIL THE DAY I DIE ALSKFDSDA

Chim 🥺 awe. “Wakes me up in the middle of the night”. Buddy :( CAPS GOT YA

CARLAAAAAAAAAA HELL YEA

“BESIDES THAT PERFECT BONE STRUCTURE” SDKAFSJA

like. Fuck Tatiana. But also good for her. And Chim gets to start to move on!! That was a really sweet scene

Aw Bobby gets Athena ^-^

This was such a good fucking episode yo. Like the way the idea of being stuck had to do with the 911s lives while also all of the calls they went one were being physically stuck and the way the proposal instigated Chim’s breakdown to allow him to finally move on…. just. Excellent television!!!!

So proud of Maddie!!!! So proud of everybody this episode :)

Buck yeah you gotta move out buddy

2x05

ASKFJHASJLAD this has gotta be fake im sdlfkjsaldk

LMAOOOO THIS BITCH she’s gonna end up actually getting hurt

OMFGGGGGGGG this bitch had it coming

DONT WE KNOW YOUUUUUUUUU THE PORCH PIRATE?? ASLDKJFALKSS

What is this girls fucking problem with Maddie lmaaooooooo fuck off

Awe this lady with the muffin or whatever is so sweet. This places Celine dion 😂😂😂 queen

Lmao wait why is she actually horrible 😂😭😭

BUCKETTE LMAOOOOO

Omg Maddie and Athena are so fun

THEYRE PROTESTING HOMOSEXUALITY??? WHAT THE FUCK

HES A FUCKING RACIST TOO???

I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE SWEDISH HALF BUT I DONT KNOW WHICH HALF THAT IS SLKDFJASLK EDDIE

I love Maddie and Athena so much alsdkfj

WHATS HER FACE? EVA? STRAIGHT UP BITCH JFC

Gloria im sorry but you’re getting what you deserve.

LKAJSDALKS. “People who yell and scream and cry and expect you to do something for them” GIRL YOU ARE LITERALLY A 911 RESPONDER THAT IS YOUR GOT DAMN JOB???

“Do they ever think of anything but themselves and what they need?” THEY ARE USUALLY DYING GLORIA

“SNITCHES GET STITCHES” JEEZ WOMAN

I feel so bad for Hen and Karen :( Eva can fuck off dude. Can’t they get sharing rights with the dad? I mean yeah it sucks that Eva is just doing this to fuck em over but like.. the dad still deserves to get to know his son if he wants to. Though Eva would probably try to stay with him just to turn Denny against Hen and Karen… UGHHHHHH

Lil denny :( aw Hen. I love her sm

Hen what u doing girl…. Cant it make the case more difficult if you keep interacting with Eva?

I love Karen and Hen sm 🥺

WHAT YOU DOING HEN. ARE YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE HER???

YOURE FINGERPRINTS ARE ON HER NOW DUDE. GO BACK

Ugh I hate that she lived but it was the right thing to do….

“I save awful people every day its my job�� Hell yeah girl

SHES GOING BACK TO JAIL HELL YEAH

Dont love cheering for her going back tho jail can be terrible…. But at least she’ll be out of Karen and hens lives. we’re not meant to think too deeply about this is.

LOVE MADDIE AND ATHENA

GLORIA IS THE FUCKING WORST

oh…. gloria… damn.

Cant you just share custody?? :( I mean it sucks but like… just talk to him.

“Yeah people can be awful… but not everyone is awful… but you’ll never know what kind of person someone is unless you give them the chance to show you” :(

WOW THE DAD IS THE FUCKING BEST?? HELL YEAH

ATHENA AND BOOBBY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE

Wow the last shot of the episode thats like the long shot at the dinner table with the narration was real fucking good :( im emo.

2x06

ADSLFJLK;ALSD. BUCK THOUGHT SHE WAS CALLING EDDIE CUTE BUT SHE MEANT CHIMNEY

listen. I do know what happens between those two and I am very excited.

Oh no maddies so anxiousssss

Buck fangirling over this reporter lady im asldkjflksad

“But the way they cared for me, thats what kept me alive” :( Hen :(

Omg are Athenas kids like the same age as Bobbys :(

SOMEONE SENT THEM EDIBLES????? OMFGGGGGG

OH NO CHIM IS THE ONLY ONE THATS SOBER

THIS WOMAN HAS A HIGH HEEL STICKING OUT OF HER FACE EWWWW ITS SO GROSS

DID THESE BEAUTY QUEENS SHRINK OR ARE WE SUDDENLY GIANTS ALKDSJFLKAKL

TEEN TINY THE WAY HIS VOICE FUCKING CRACKED

SDKFJSKDA THEYRE ALL FUCKING HIGH IM

HIGH BOBBY IS SO FUCKIN FUNNY

Oh no eddies upsetttttt 😂

This is fucking HILARIOUS

Oh no bobbyyyyyyyy :((((((

Awe the news piece was so nice

CHIMNEY AND MADDIEEEEEEE

Oh shes got a fucking POPCORN MAKER IM SO JEALOUS

Wow Taylor was really going to use the footage :/

“Just get a room already” BUCK NOOOO DUDE

The way bobby always fist bumps Athenas son whenever they say hello/goodbye. So fun 🥺good content right there

DONT TELL ME THEYRE GONNA ASK HIM TO BE IN THE PIC????

OMGGGGG BOBBYYYYYYY IM CRYINGGGGGG

AWE AND THE FUCKING SONG; WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU MAKE ROOM YOU PROBABLY NEVER LOVED SOMEONE LIKE I DO

#LONG POST #LONG ASS POST #lol #ellie liveblogs #911 #my posts

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anarchyduck · 3 years

Text

Axe, Sweat, and Cigarettes pt. 2

Part 1

Also read on ao3.

ALERT: There are some behaviors that can be seen as forms of self harm. There is also some chatter alluding to child abuse/molestation but nothing graphic.

-------

Ned has been around Peter Parker long enough to pick up on the tell tell signs of when something is bothering him. He fidgets more than usual and spaces out a lot. He jumps every time Ned touches his shoulder, which Ned wouldn’t have to do but Peter stops responding to his questions and is staring off into space.

Peter also bites his nails when something is eating at him. And after he has bitten his nails down to the quick, he picks at the skin around his cuticles. He does it absentmindedly; Peter himself doesn’t seem to notice until he’s bleeding.

At first, Ned thinks it’s Spider-Man related. The superhero gig - no matter how awesome and cool it is - takes a toll on Peter. When asked, Peter denies anything is wrong.

“Just stressing about midterms.”

Ned finds that hard to believe. Peter is one of the smartest (if not the smartest, in Ned’s humble opinion) guy at Midtown. He lets it go with the lingering reminder that Peter can always talk to him. Peter just smiles and they move on to talk about something else.

Michelle notices too.

“What’s up with Peter?” she asks Ned one day during lunch. Peter is conveniently absent with the unofficial ‘I’m sick’ story. The real one, or so he texted to Ned that morning, is him being stuck at home dealing with a sensory overload migraine.

“What do you mean?” Ned asks. “He’s sick.”

“I mean what’s up with him lately.” Michelle clarifies. “He’s been acting weirder than usual.”

Ned bites the inside of his cheek. Sure, Michelle is cool in her own blunt kind of way, but she doesn’t know anything about Spider-Man or the real reason Peter isn’t at school. While it is awesome no one else knows except for him, Ned sometimes wishes someone like Michelle did know.

“I… don’t know.” Ned says truthfully.

MJ raises a brow. “Aren’t you two like, best friends or whatever?” she asks.

Ned frowns a little because, yeah, he knows she isn’t being malicious, but it does hurt a little. Peter is his best friend and if anyone should know what’s wrong with him, it should be Ned. And Ned doesn’t know.

“I heard he ran out of the boy’s locker room yesterday.” Michelle continues as she peels off the sticker on her apple. “Knocked Flash down on his way out.”

Ned remembers that. It was so weird. One second, Peter is fine, just finishing dressing out, and the next he is bolting out of the locker room like it was on fire. Flash was the unfortunate victim (Ned uses that term lightly) when Peter shoulder checked him on his dash out. Flash bitched and complained the entire time until someone told him to shut up. Ned didn’t see Peter again until lunch. By that point, he seemed fine again.

“He also spent third period in the nurse's office.” Michelle takes a bite of her apple.

Now that is something Ned didn’t know about. “It’s just stress,” he says. “You know, about midterms.”

“Midterms. Sure.” she scoffs and takes another bite, chews on it, and says, “You better talk to him. You losers shouldn’t have secrets between you.”

It sticks with Ned for the rest of the day.

On the way home from school, he sends Peter a text message.

Ned: How are you feeling? Any better?

Peter doesn’t respond immediately, and Ned tries to not worry about it and rationalizes that Peter has his phone muted. Maybe his migraine isn’t totally gone.

Ned’s phone chirps with a reply.

Peter: Little. Out rn

K. Want to hang out later? Ned sends the message off as he steps off the train to head home. His stomach twists, knowing the answer but hopes for a different outcome.

Peter: Sorry dude have to study

Yeah. He should have known better. Ned sighs and types out k see you later! He is about to put his phone away when he decides to send one more text.

Ned: If you need me let me know

The only response Ned gets from Peter is a thumbs up emoji and smiley face.

It doesn’t make him feel any better and he makes a mental note to check Twitter for Spider-Man news later. If Peter won’t fill him in on anything, he has other ways of keeping tabs on him.

Which brings him back to his conversation with MJ earlier. Peter has been acting weird and Ned feels like he should know why. The more he thinks about it, the more his mind keeps going back to that day at the bodega. Peter had been off for the rest of the day. Nothing alarming, just distracted.

Now that Ned thinks about it, Peter has been distracted nearly every day since then. It could all just be coincidence, but Ned doubts that very much. Something happened and he missed it.

The scene at the bodega replays over and over in his mind even after Ned walks through his front door. The apartment is empty, except for his sister’s tabby cat Speckles. The feline trills at him from her lounging spot on the back of the couch, tilts her head up as Ned pets her as he passes by to drop his school bag in his room.

He turns on his computer and, while waiting for it to boot up, wanders into the kitchen for a snack. Afterwards, he unloads the dishwasher (more of an oversized drying rack since it broke) and washes up the remaining dishes left in the sink. Both his parents won’t be home until after dark and his sister is staying over at her girlfriend’s apartment closer to Queensborough Community College. It leaves Ned to his own devices for at least a few more hours.

He checks Twitter for any Spider-Man sightings. He still thinks it would be cool to set up an official Spider-Man account to have a place where people could post messages or whatever. Peter was on board with the idea until Tony Stark caught wind of it and quickly shut it down, citing how much of a bad idea it would be. Ned thinks it is because Stark doesn’t understand how social media works.

Nothing new shows up in the tags except for a new Daily Bugle article ranting about the dangers of neighborhood vigilantes. Ned frowns and decides to close out the tab before he ends up reading it. He decides to open a program to practice coding with hopes it will be enough to distract him.

And it works.

Then his phone rings.

Ned knows it’s Peter just from the ringtone (the ever-iconic Wilhelm scream) and pauses his music as he answers, “Hey Peter, what’s up?”

“Hey.” Peter replies. Ned thinks he hears the wind blowing in the background and wonders if Peter is swinging while on the phone again. “Nothing much, uh… What are you up to?”

“Nothing much, just working on coding.” Ned puts the phone between his shoulder and ear as he puts both hands on the keyboard again. “There’s that coding competition coming up, you know, and I thought about entering. There’s a sweet prize of like a thousand dollars. Think of the Lego sets we could buy with that.”

Peter gives a noncommittal response. “That would be cool.”

Ned waits a beat for Peter to say something else. In the background, he thinks he hears traffic moving. Or maybe it’s the wind again. The silence stretches out a little longer than Ned’s comfortable with and he starts, “Are you feeling any better? Because MJ was asking about you and-”

“Do you think I’m a bad person?”

Ned’s fingers freeze on the keyboard. Where the hell did that come from? “No, of course I don’t think that.” he assures.

“But what if…” Peter breathes heavily against the phone. “But what if I did something bad?”

“Like what?” Ned asks carefully, treading light even as his heart rate picks up. “Peter, what happened?”

“N-Nothing, just uhm…” his friend trails off and Ned’s concern only grows as the silence once again lengthens. He can hear Peter breathing, can hear the wind, and the distant sound of cars honking.

“Peter?” his chair squeaks as Ned turns, taking both hands off the keyboard completely. “You’re starting to freak me out, dude. Say something.”

Through the phone, he can hear Peter’s breath hitch and catch. “Uhm…” he clears his throat and there is an odd strain in his voice as he says, “I’m thinking of doing something really stupid and I…” - he takes a shuddered breath - “I’m scared.”

Ned straightens in his chair. A million thoughts fly through his head, one right after another and none of them are good. He thinks about calling May or reaching out to Happy or, hell, even Mr. Stark. But Peter didn’t call them; he called Ned.

“Come over.” he says.

“Dude, I can’t. I-”

Ned cuts him off. “Peter. Come over right now. Just stop whatever you’re doing or about to do. Come over and hang out with me.” He tries to keep the worry out of his words. The underlying plea of please come over so I don’t have to worry about what you’re about to do. If you’re here, you can’t do anything stupid. Please please please

“... Okay.” Peter sniffles on his end of the line. “Okay, I-I’ll come over.”

Ned sags into his chair with relief.

----

It’s half an hour later when he hears a familiar rhythmic knock at his window. Ned crosses the room from his desk to unlock his window and let his friend inside. The most out of place thing is realizing Peter isn’t in his Spider-Man suit. His clothes are dark though and he’s even wearing a black mask with goggles that look an awful lot like the ones from his old costume.

“Why do you look like a bank robber, dude?” Ned asks before he can stop himself.

Peter takes off the mask and runs his hand through his hair. “Oh, it’s like a stealth suit.” he says, as if that answers everything.

“Why do you need a stealth suit?” Ned asks as he closes his window. “And how come you’re not wearing your regular one?”

“Because Mr. Stark has a bunch of stupid surveillance equipment in that one.” Peter replies. “He doesn’t have to see everything I do.”

Ned returns to his chair as Peter flops down onto his bed, arms outstretched beside him. A hundred questions come up all at once (what don’t you want Tony Stark to see? Why do you need a stealth suit? Why have you been asking so weird the past couple of weeks? What were you doing?).

Instead, he asks, “What’s up?” Ned immediately cringes at how painfully casual it sounds. Good job, Leeds.

Peter exhales a sigh as he stares up at the ceiling. He picks at his fingers and shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know, man.” he huffs a bitter laugh and brings his hands up to cover his face.

Ned bites the inside of his cheek. He wants to say something to break the silence, to push whatever is eating Peter inside out. “Where were you?” he asks finally.

“Out.” Peter replies, voice muffled by his hands that remain on his face.

“Yeah, but where?” Ned presses and, when Peter doesn’t answer, adds, “You’ve been acting weird, and I’m just worried about you. MJ is too. She asked about you today.”

“She did?” Peter asks in surprise. He uncovers his face as he sits up, a move Ned considers progress.

“Yeah.” Ned nods. “She wanted to know where you were today and why you’ve been acting… weird lately.”

Peter breaks eye contact as he fidgets with the black fingerless gloves. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you guys.” he quietens for a moment. He picks at the skin around his fingers and Ned wants nothing more than to reach over and grab them, to stop him. “I uh… I’ve just had a lot going on. W-With the internship and…” Peter trails off, not willing to finish what Ned knows is a lie. “Do you remember that guy who used to babysit me when I was little?”

Ned grimaces but nods. “Yeah.”

“I saw him.”

Ned’s eyes widen. “What? Where?”

“At the bodega, a couple weeks ago.”

Oh.

In an instant, everything clicked into place and Ned could see that moment when he caught Peter just standing in the middle of the shop’s aisle, staring off. How pale and out of it he looked, as if he was going to pass out any second. But he doesn’t remember that guy being there.

“And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him and the more I think about it, the more it freaks me out.” Peter rubs the corner of his right eye and sniffs. His leg keeps bouncing. “Now it’s like, every little thing just sets me off.”

“So,” Ned draws out, pieces falling into place. “That day, when you ran out of the gym locker rooms, something set you off?”

Peter nods. “I can’t really stand the smell of Axe body spray.” he says. “And someone was spraying it and it just… I just freaked out.”

“Is that why you skipped class and stayed in the nurse's office?” Ned asks. If Peter is surprised by him knowing this, he doesn’t show it. He just nods and continues fidgeting. “Peter, you could have told me.”

“Told you what? That I was being stupid? That I can’t handle smelling that stuff without thinking about him?”

“I don’t think you’re stupid. What he did was awful. It’s not-” Ned says but Peter cuts him off.

“Not my fault. Yeah, I got it.” Peter laughs bitterly as he gets to his feet to pace. “Logically, I know it’s not my fault. I know. But that doesn’t stop the dreams or, or the memories from coming back up. I should be over this by now. I mean it’s not like Skip” - Peter’s voice catches on the name - “did anything serious. It was just touching.”

“That still doesn’t make it okay!” Ned raises his voice a little higher, hoping it drives the point across through Peter's thick skull. “He still hurt you!"

“I found out where he lives.”

The sudden statement is enough to nearly give Ned a whiplash.

“He’s here. In Queens.” Peter continues in a rush without giving Ned a chance to recover. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I looked him up and found his address.”

An uncomfortable chill rolls over Ned. What does that even mean? “Dude don’t tell me you went to his house.” he says gravely. Peter’s refusal to make eye contact and nervous nail biting is enough to confirm it. “Oh my God, dude.”

“I’ve been watching him, and I thought, you know, I wasn’t strong enough back to stop him but now I’ve got all these powers. And what if he was hurting some other little kid? I couldn’t let that happen, Ned!”

“Yeah, but you can’t just…” Ned trails off because yeah, if he could stop a bus with his bare hands, he would probably think about doing the same thing. He tries imagining his friend staking out Westcott’s house and then the phone calls springs back into mind. “Is that where you were tonight?” A grim thought comes to mind and he looks at Peter with alarm. “Peter, don’t tell me you-”

But Peter shakes his head. “No. But I was going to do it. I was going to sneak into his house and confront him. I was just so… angry.” he runs his hand through his hair and finally, finally, looks at Ned. Eyes shining with unshed tears and his hands are still shaking, breath coming out a little quicker. “I wanted to hurt him so bad, it’s all I could think about. What if I did do it? What if I killed him? A-and then May would find out and Mr. Stark would find out and and they would lock me up and May would be all alone and-”

Ned is on his feet before he realizes it, crossing the space between them and catches Peter’s trembling hands. There are specks of dried blood beside his bitten down nails, the spots where Peter was picking already healed. Ned holds his friend’s hands firmly and looks at him to catch eye contact. “Dude breath.”

Peter blinks, eyes red-rimmed, and he does exactly that. Breathes in through his nose and exhales through his mouth. Ned nods encouragingly, remaining quiet as he gives Peter’s hand a light squeeze. It takes a moment for Peter to squeeze him back.

There are several things on Ned’s mind. The biggest being how Peter tracked down that asshole Westcott and planned a confrontation with him. If he had, well, Ned doesn’t want to think what could have happened. Going off just the videos on YouTube alone, he knows Peter could have seriously hurt Westcott, even killed him if he didn’t hold back. Ned thinks the guy would deserve it (he does, 100%) but it wouldn’t do Peter any good.

“So…” Ned begins, trying to find the right words. “You found the jerk, but you didn’t confront him. Which is good! The guy totally deserves to have his ass kicked, but I don’t want to lose my best friend to prison. Plus, I don’t think you’d survive prison.”

Peter chuckles lightly and sniffles. “Prison would suck.” he lets go of one of Ned’s hands to wipe the tears from his cheek.

“Plus, I want to call first dibs on kicking his ass.” Ned adds and gives Peter an earnest look. “For hurting my best friend.”

Peter ducks his head, bottom lip trembling until he bites it. He sniffles and takes another calming breath. “Thanks, man. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Ned shrugs, “Probably fail history class and become less cool.” he says easily and smiles when Peter laughs again.

They stay like that for a while longer until Peter’s stomach growls obnoxiously loud. They laugh and decide frozen pizza rolls and ice cream are excellent ways to recover from draining emotional situations. Peter sends May a message to let her know where he is, and Ned talks him into spending the night.

Ned may not have super strength or be able to climb walls, but if he can help make his friend feel better, then it is enough.

#peter parker #ned leeds #spiderman #spider-man #marvel #mcu #duckie's writing #it's so much longer than the first part lmao

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renaer-is-allegedly-hot · 3 years

Text

session 19

Session 19 Sunday, April 25, 2021 7:47 PM

- I'm cold :[ the window is open - Last week on dnd: we went to a place mirt tipped us abt; activity around stone in castle ward o Explored a bunch of rooms and snuck around o Got to arena w prisoners made to fight, came across vats filled w dead beholders o Cel theo and adam discover the kitchenso Asyna and aerana went upstairs hearing commotion not knowing from where - Adam was instructed to head down the hallway to the left and go upstairs, pass through the meeting room and go through first door to right o Currently on lower level, heading towards noisy area - Adam kachunk kachunk kachunks up the stairs o Cel is slightly concerned abt adam's trolley driving ability, theo is holding onto the trolley for dear life bc adam cannot push this cart - Confronted w wall of noise, music o Passes through open door and sees two mess tables, full of diverse set of ppl generally looking shabby/down on their luck o They look mean and shifty but they're having a good time rn o Someone in corner sees adam with the cart ■ "looks at you and says" *dom waves, not saying a word* ■ Adam goes toward person and sees staircase ■ It is a human w a shaved head and an eye tattoo on the back of his head like the motifs in the dungeon ■ "when's my order coming sir" □ "sorry sir we're a little backlogged rn and I'm not your waiter if u tell me who ur waiter is I can find them n give u an update" □ Man sighs n grumbles bc they're v hungry ◆ Adam offers one appetizer to them; one big whole crab ◆ The ppl lean back and look at adam ◆ "just don't tell the chef," adam says, then trolleys away, full steam ahead - Confronted w sheer staircase, no ramp o Adam is gonna try to pull it up, strength check ■ Rolls a 7 ■ Halflings must make stealth check □ Pass without a trace thing is still active ◆ Theo rolls 21 ◆ Cel rolls 34 o Adam can get them up a couple of steps, but after a bit of trying some of the ppl at the party r just . Looking at adam■ "is there a . Strong dude . Just sitting down anywhere"□ "that dude and a couple of the guys" the crab ppl□ They stand up and start heading over to adam◆ "hello friends ! Did you like the crab?"◊ Human guy, half-orc woman, two dwarves w pleated beards► Human : " you want a . Hand ?"- Adam says he's feeding royaltyo The four of them get around the cart and hoist it up the stairs

o Cel's internal screaming gets loudero "I'd just like to thank you guys so much for helping me out"■ Adam winks at one of the dwarves, but why?- Top of the stairs, 150 feet hallway that starts to curve towards endo In front and to right, set of double doors followed by another doorwayo Also a set of double doors to far left and one perpendicular from thato Tl;dr: Facing three doors and one at the end of the hallo Adam is going to follow the directions, sees a passageway as he walkso Lots of ornate carving in the door, door carved to look like a piece of funguso Adam rolls perception, 6■ Doesn't see any other door but hears talking behind this one■ Hears ppl clapping and cheering; otherwise just hears deep booming voice that's difficult to make out- Adam bends down to cart and pokes head insideo "so we're here" adamo "thank god" theoo Left are snails, whole turkey, blueberry pie on carto Plan is to go inside, give them food, grab lord silgaro Cel asks if adam wants fake lord silgar now or later■ Adam puts fake lord silgar on head and pulls chef's hat over■ Except nvm■ He can't do that so uses empty crab dish instead□ Remembers where he puts it to avoid giving fake lord silgar out- Adam opens door and starts wheeling cart ino Theo n cel holding hands- Meanwhile !!- Asyna and aerana just finished going up spiraling staircase stealthilyo Poke heads around corner, notice passageway moving forward {straight) and one offshoot to right, further down there are two more branching pathso Aerana rolls 19 perception■ Can hear some ppl chatting■ Aerana can understand undercommon□ Ppl arguing, that there's no ghost "you're a moron if you think you saw a ghost" "no I'm not gonna check"□ They sound wet, dom says, and lillian and marguerite stare me down :{■ One thinks they saw the ghost, hear them to our righto Naya turns in circles then walks into wall■ Goes behind■ 17 investigation check□ No buttons on wall□ Nothing on the floor□ Nothing on the ceiling, no eye things; down 50ish feet can see an ornately carved door, looks drow-related w spider motifso Not sure if guards would see us if we went down hallway■ We poke our heads in and go OOP did u see the ghost in undercommon■ See big chamber■ Three doorways in diff sections of the room, in between two of the doors, a wider portcullis that's been lowered■ A bunch of fish looking bipedal creatures w spears digging into food, they're called kuo-toa■ One of them turns around and stands up, eating tough cured meat■ "do you know where it went ? I'm scared"□ Deception, 7

□ Short thingy but has a long whip in his hand□ Stares us down "you two aren't authorized to be here"□ "but she's a chef, so" asyna "we're lost"□ Asyna asks what they're up to◆ One of the fishy guys says he saw the ghost go a certain way, pointed towards a hallway leading off to the right in the room□ The main guy staring at us cracks his whip and says "we're busy"■ We back out and head into area we were first in- We go back to kitchen to grab food, off in distance we here loud banging crash from behind us- Adam wheels out the carto The floor drops bc there are stairs; a dozen or so cheering warriors in a wide chambero Make acrobatics checks■ "stairs have been the ultimate enemy in this session" jacob, 2021■ 16 for theo, 7 for celo Adam pushes cart out, and as it leans down, it's a little too heavy and turns to sideo Platters clatter open, except for the one containing the fish {stays upside down)■ Two dishes splatter onto floor, along with a halfling■ Theo stays inside the cart■ Cel tumbles outo Everyone looking at them■ "did anyone order a halfling and blueberry pie?"- Adam must make performance checko 14o Everyone in the room draws their weapono Floating creature descends and hisses, drow gathering energyo Sylvia has an idea■ Adam is telling everyone to calm down bc he has a pieo Cel stands up, hand on dust of disappearance subtlyo But they hear low rumbling sound- Adam yells "WAIT ! I know this looks bad ! But there is a much more pressing manner" as he pulls out the fish foodo Grumbling turning into laughter■ Really creepy uncomfy laughtero "halfling pie" ahahahahao Adam starts laughingo Cel halfheartedly laughso Can't see anything but can hearo Looking at ceiling just see large circle bowl attached to ceiling- Adam "I have been informed - praise xanathar by the way - I've been informed by ot to feed lord silgar his daily sustenance and if I don't get this to him soon things aren't going to b looking too hot for the xanathar guild"o Everyone kinda chuckling to themselves■ Cel makes 21, adam makes 13 or smth for insight check; theo rolls 3o The ppl don't think the joke is funny but they're laughing anywayso Voice echoes "v mysterious . ot went missing"■ "well he hasn't been to work in awhile" adam says□ Adam makes persuasion check□ Adam rolls nat 1◆ Hears deep imposing resonance◆ "deliver your food and then be gone from this ?? Space -- if you should trifle, then perhaps we shall enjoy the new employee with the pie"□ Adam tells cel to wait here and cel Is like :I◆ Adam casts message and tells cel that if things go south to find aerana and

asyna◆ Adam takes theo with him□ Cel messages back for adam to keep an eye on the plushie◆ Cel standing by door, adam wheeling cart with one hand, sets pie on table by buff guys and keeps going◆ Cel looking around room and doesn't see anything that doesn't look humanoid, sees two other doors not including one she came from- Human woman tells cel that she better leaveo "I think you should leave before he changes his mind"o Cel tries the door she came in from, it's unlockedo Adam is going for door closest to him firsto Cel leaves room going back way she came■ Right as she goes to leave, booming voice says "wait. You there . Halfling . Tell us a story . And you tiefling fellow . If you encounter ot, give him my best wishes . And then come back . say . Which door is ot behind, my friend?"■ Jacob: "I'm gonna roll a d2"□ "is this a test ?? I still just started this job" adamo Cel tries to leave, makes acrobatics check 18■ Human woman rolls nat 20 and cel cannot leaveo Jacob rolls 24 to ask for a hint■ "it is not the door on your left !!"■ Adam insight checks, 15; voice is odd and adam can't tell what's going on■ Adam says he loves the voice and opens the door right next to him■ Cold rush fills adam's body, just fear□ "give my regards to ot! You passed :)"■ Adam feels push and door shuts behind him, without theo■ Adam has darkvision, sees gigantic 20x20 fish bowl with aquatic plants and gravel inside and a miniature castle + sizable treasure chest at bottom of bowl■ Inside is a familiar looking dwarf with a strange helmet on□ Turns around and yells◆ "OT"◆ Adam goes over and puts two hands on his shoulders◆ Ot is holding smaller fishbowl with a goldfish◆ "I need that goldfish"- Back to asyna and aeranao We go get food from the kitchen, two souffleso We hear more argument back at stairs, sounds like ringleader from before in undercommon saying "well no sir according to my observation did not see any ghost . Well I should hope not but we can investigate for you if you desire"o We walk down left hallway, see tall pillars■ Passageway to left back in direction we came□ Door, passageway, passageway that goes sort of back way we cameo We keep going down passageway■ 17 perception check at ornate door■ We can hear cel talking and occasionally a deep booming interjecting voice■ We listen by other door, can hear fish people talking through there■ 18 perception down other passageway, looking down catches glimpse of a halfling being dragged off□ Halfling doesn't look like someone we recognize- 28 stealth check to pull open door a little bito See big group of ppl, knocked over cart that looks like one adam was pushing, cel- Back to cel, cel telling a storyo "have you ever heard the story of the yawning portal"

o "no . I've heard it's a terrible place"o "yeah it's an awful place with mystery that I want to explore"o Cel relays things durnan has told about typ, rolls performanceo 11 performance check■ Is talking for awhileo Aerana and asyna can hear clearly- Theo still inside fallen carto Is close to door adam went througho Everyone is watching celo Door adam went through is probably unlocked■ Stealth check, 17 w pass without a trace- Theo makes it through unscathedo Sees ot and adam chatting- Back to adamo "OT I need that fish"o adam slaps himo Adam makes strength check of 5o Theo has sneak attack and is gonna bonk ot on the head■ 13 to hit, stun attack and ot drops bowl□ Adam makes dex check, 14, catches bowl□ Looks like the fish adam saw in that painting but also looks p mundaneo Theo has other fish, other fish kinda looks like lord silgaro Adam gets lord silgar and puts him underneath chef's hato Fake fish named filgar■ See passageway leading out and sloping up {like a ramp) + locked double door against wallo Ot says "we spoke of the stone"■ Ot begging for fish, adam says give stone ot says I don't know where stone is■ Adam rolls 18 for insight, but ot blocking big bowl■ No fish in the bowl just a rocky sandy bottom, faux treasure chest, faux castle- Adam walks up to bowl, tips it overo Adam mage hands down into fish bowl, opens chest, sees oval, uses mage hand to grab rocko Ot starts crying bc he doesn't want to fail at his jobo Adam gives him filgar and brings ot close■ "you saw nothing"- Adam puts rock in pocketo Jk adam hands stone to theo and tells her to get out, adam is gonna go get celo Adam tells theo to meet at kitcheno Jk we'll meet outside the guildo Theo just needs to book it- Adam and theo high five, adam walks back out and claps "he ate"o "very good" booming voice sayso Says they're gonna finish eating the halfling but adam offers his entertainment skills■ Cel dips out, sees asyna and aerana and we hand her the souffles■ Keep door pried open- Theo follows passageway as far out as she can go- Adam starts storyo "there once was a young man in a fallen city . This city had many factions . This young boy was the leader of the smallest . His faction was growing smaller and weaker until one day he made a deal with a devil . Devil asks for an heir, man agrees, came at cost of best friend, but man receives great power and influence in city; one morning realizes consequences and at his doorstep were two baby twin tieflingso One crying one laughing

o Man takes it upon self to raise tieflings in secret, can't kill tieflings bc agreement- Theo running down hallway, sees heavily armed fish folk and head to double doors, walk through; four of us now togethero As adam giving speech, is casually inching towards door he came from, preparing darknesso Voice is just listening to storyo "Man raises two tieflings in secret, one void of powers other great sorcerer; tutor hired to teach lesser tiefling . Tutor was kind and only friend of younger tiefling and realized younger tiefling needed to escape; when younger tiefling turned 17, led tiefling out of city; older tiefling told father of plano Adam's voice cracks :{o "tutor was killed but the younger one got away"o "you know the younger one should've been stronger" voice sayso Adam's voice cracks, stops movements■ Looks at tentacle monster, cross and a little angry, hands shaking behind backo Is close to door

• We ALL run■ "and with that story that has ended with no happy ending, I will bid you adieu" calls darkness, YEETS away■ Adam running

- Naya pokes head out of wall, we run and cel recasts pass without a traceo 13 celo 20 aeranao 19 adamo 11 theoo 10 asyna- Running down hallway back towards kitchenso Behind can hear someone shouting "there you are" from behind us■ Adam casts hypnotic pattern on stairs for next minute■ Aerana launches bow, 6 damage on the jailer dwarf who was immediately chasing us

□- We keep runningDwarf is incapacitated and stands still on stairs

o Following pathway we came through

o Dex saves bc adam's pyrotechnics doesn't work

■ Aerana rolls nat 1

■ Adam nat 20

■ Theo 23

■ Cel 19???

■ Asyna 12

□ Everyone takes 5 damage, except aerana who takes 10

- Adam casts healing words to take aerana to 6 hp

o Adam casts hellish rebuke, 20 fire damage

o Aerana hits 15 damage and yeets out of room

o Asyna rolls 6 dex save, as running out asyna feels incredible slowness; can make door but still slow

■ Halved speed

- We round corner and go up the stairs

o "rat might actually work because rat is rat"

- Aerana turns into squirrel, speed returns

- We get to sewer we entered from and for the moment it looks as we've escaped

o We have lord silgar and the stone

#sn #19 #dnd #d&d #5e

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