A typically absent parent finally being around to help when the whumpee's sick/hurt, quietly (or not so quietly) growing to resent the fact that Caretaker seems to know their kid better than they do

on resentment over abandonment; i am still filled with anger and it fuels me; i will choose my anger over my grief everyday. it is easier to feel

Definitely

Lloyd Schwartz, from The Handbook of Heartbreak: 101 Poems of Lost Love and Sorrow; “Who's on first?”

[Text ID: "Do you love me?" / "Of course—; but I resent it."]

had an emotion the other day. not a nice one.

Trying to heal the fact that you're rarely felt seen and heard constantly from the outside and that you were often abandoned, can be a very long and stressful journey. Everything may trigger you: from having people taking all they can and giving you nothing or crumbs, not paying attention to/forgetting what you say or talking over you, misinterpreting you, leaving you suddenly or ghosting you, not asking how you do even though you do with them, remembering all the people that suddenly left you because they didn't had time for you anymore or didn't feel like including you and worrying if it's all that is gonna happen in your life...

It's pretty saddening and heartbreaking. And it may make you wonder if, by standing your ground and not accepting this but asking for respect, you're being too much/exaggerating it all or not. But you're very likely not exaggerating, you're just trying to learn to receive what you deserve. You're making yourself feel heard and seen by those who don't or aren't aware that they're not considering you (at times it's a matter of different sensitivity, of different points of view). And that's just you trying to balance things out. Keep working on this as at first your resentment may ring a bell even when it's not strictly necessary (you may get triggered also by behaviours that can be coincidental but they sum up to your past experiences, hence yes you may be exaggerating at times but you need to be too much too in order to find a balance); keep healing your heart: people won't always take a part of you and leave, nor you will have to leave them cause they hurt you. Find your true voice and let it be heard and respected.

Grudges are a terribly heavy burden to carry through your life. -- Michael Lipsey

ill never forget just how bad i was treated by the same people who i sacrificed my hours of time and energy for.

me in 30 years when all the therapy's paid off

old wounds, like hidden ghosts by wordsonpage

old wounds, like hidden ghosts

by wordsonpage (@ronniexian)

T, 2k, Wangxian

Summary: "Wei Ying, Wei Ying, you are a menace." "Oh, yeah," Wei Wuxian plays along. "And what are you gonna do about it, Hanguang-jun?" "Perhaps I should leave you." - Lan Wangji is possessed by a vengeful spirit during a night hunt. It takes Wei Wuxian a long, painful moment to notice. (my accidental darkji threadfic, cleaned) Kay's comments: This one completely destroyed me. The resentful spirit that posessed Lan Wangji knew not only what words to use to completely wreck Wei Wuxian, but also myself. Absolutely exquisite angst! Excerpt: "Lan Zhan, stop." He tries, doing his best to summon a grin, though it probably comes out as more of a grimace. "I don't think I can do that kind of play, gege. You can pretend you're subduing the Yilling Laozu, that he finally—" "Did you know my scars still hurt?" Wei Wuxian freezes. Now, if Wei Wuxian was in a better state of mind, he'd find it strange that Lan Wangji just interrupted him, that Lan Wangji complained about something at all, but these are Wei Wuxian's deepest fears coming to life right in front of him in this small room of a shabby inn, and so he's completely paralyzed. Lan Wangji sits up calmly, resting his head against the headboard as he folds his hands neatly on his lap. “They do,” he goes on. “In the winter, during the coldest nights. They sting, and I remember.” Feeling sick to his stomach, Wei Wuxian takes a shaky breath. “I… I didn’t know, you never said—”

pov wei wuxian, post-canon, established relationship, married lan wangji/wei wuxian, angst with a happy ending, hurt wei wuxian, resentment, ghosts, revenge, spirits, emotional hurt/comfort, angst

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

on leaving & liberation. in some fleeting moments, i hated you as i held your hand. but i don’t hate you anymore. i want you to come back, but mostly, i just wish the good times never ended.