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mauvecherie-writes · 1 month

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duality: l.hamilton

pairing: lewis hamilton x black journalist!reader

summary: it’s two years on since and then a lot about your dynamic has changed. things are official and everyone is still none the wiser …

tags: 18+, MDNI, NSFW, extremely sexual content, oral sex (f receiving), protected sex, dirty talk, dom/sub elements, spit, choking, some slight edging, aftercare.

w.c: 4.5K

reading list: @queenshikongo3 @dhlfastestlap @saintslewis @serpenttines-library @hopefulromantic1 @cocobutterqwueen @bluesole16 @emjayewrites @chaneajoyyy @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @sapphireheaven @olyvoyl @lewisroscoelove @lh44adore @hellomadamebutterfly @scorpiobleue @qveenmelanink @tremendousstarlighttragedy @angelinaevans @bekindbecoolbeyou @greedyjudge2 @itsapurrfectstorm @createdbylivingclocks @samiwzx @omgsuperstarg @peyiswriting @miyuhpapayuh @blowmymbackout @purplelewlew

previous part: super soaker.

Your friends loved a good gossip session and tonight’s topic as you sat in the exclusive club ‘Lounge 418’ was who had the best dick game in Hollywood. You had very little input considering you were still reaching the heights of your popularity as a journalist and you barely paid attention to the couple of men who had tried to get some type of access to you and it was going to be denied each time.

“The athletes though.” Marie smirked as the rest of the table hummed in agreement. “The toxicity adds a little sweetness to it.” She added which caused you to giggle. Chanel turned her body to face yours.

“Aren’t they all in your DM’s anyway? A fine ass woman talking about them in detail. I know that gives them an ego boost.”

It does. they messaged you all the time, wanting to quiz your knowledge in person. An arrogance that annoyed the hell out of you so you never replied. The only one who ever caught your eye was Lewis and it worked in his favour because he approached you accordingly. You had posted a podcast episode recapping on the events of his race in Brazil in 2021. As a long time fan of his - that was the race that sparked your love for him all over again.

The way you had spoken so passionately about him and his career, defending his right to the championship. Lewis had sent you a message thanking you for your support. It was short and sweet but your crush on him drove you to give him an answer then everything snow balled from there. That one episode changed your life for the next two and a half years.

When your relationship initially began, it was strictly casual sex but things got intense pretty quickly and the NDA was scrapped when things became more official between you. However, the both of you loved and respected each other’s privacy thus no one, even your closest friends knew.

So lost within your mind, you had forgotten that you were the focus of the conversation until Lewis’s sport was mentioned, your head snapped upwards.

“What about that F1 guy you’re obsessed with?”

Your cheeks warmed as a sense of bashfulness filled you. “What about him?”

“Has he ever slid into your DM’s?”

“I mean…” You shrugged your shoulders as you sipped on your French 75. “He was pretty chill and he was thanking me for my support for him for my podcast episode.”

“And that was it?” Marie raised her eyebrow and a small smirk playing on her face.

“We spoke here and there but that was about it.” You replied, trying to keep it as vague as possible. You remembered how flirty he was and how you had gravitated towards him. Your crush did quite a chunk of heavy lifting but Lewis was a natural charmer and he invoked feelings within you that had thought were gone. He brought them out and they haven’t dissipated since.

“He just looks like an absolute sweetheart. I don’t think he’d be that freaky though - seems like the vanilla type.” Your friend Vanessa commented. “Not that there's anything wrong with Vanilla.” She added.

“Nah, I say it’s the sweethearts you need to be on the lookout for. One minute, they’re feeding your strawberries and the next, they’re eating your pussy from the back and their thumb slipping into your ass.”

“That was oddly specific Marie.” Chanel raised her eyebrow with a grimace which caused all of you to burst out laughing. You hid your face behind your glass with a smile on your face.

As the alcohol flowed so did the topics and Lewis was no longer a focus which caused you to relax. You were beginning to think about him too much even though you had been with him in the morning before he left.

Then your phone buzzed in your bag. You placed your drink down and took your phone out and a message notification was on the screen.

🏎️💨: I see you.

You looked up from your phone and tried to search the crowds in the lounge but it was too dimly lit.

You: Lol okay, Mr Creeper. Where do you see me from?

🏎️💨: I’m a few tables ahead of you to the right. I saw trying to look for me. I’m in the blue cap with the TH tracksuit.

As soon as you read the description of his appearance, you quickly spotted him and you couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself. His attempts at disguising himself in public were always terrible and him dressed top to bottom in a Tommy Hilfiger two piece was certainly not doing him any favours.

You: You are terrible at hiding yourself lol. You’re staring right at me.

You: Also, what are you doing here??? I thought you were having a quiet night until I came to your place.

🏎️💨: The boys dragged me out. They say I haven’t been out in a while. I didn’t know we were on our way here until we were outside.

🏎️💨: Come and say hi.

“Who are you texting that’s making you smile like that?” Marie as she tried to snoop, looking down at your phone. You quickly locked your screen and placed your phone back into your bag.

“Nobody.” You smiled at her as you got up. Smiling at everyone, “I just saw someone, I’m gonna say go say hi and I’ll be back.”

Your friends watched you as you walked away from your table, their eyes widening when they see the men sitting at the table.

As you drew closer, your smile could not be stopped as you saw him sitting there on top of the booth, his legs spread. You could spot his rainbow coloured pearl necklace from the top of the track jacket.

With a small wave to the other men, you made it in front of Lewis, standing in between his legs.

“You look good enough to eat.” He mumbled in your ear as you hugged him.

“You look good too.” You replied with a soft giggle. His head turned slightly into your neck and placed a kiss in the depression of your collarbone through the fabric of your top.

Your sweet spot.

You almost moaned but your will power compelled you to pull away.

“Are you allowed to hug me like that in public?” You softly asked him.

“Anything I say goes and I wanted that hug. I haven’t seen you since this morning.” He licked his lips as he let his eyes fall down to your midriff. It was like he could see himself back in your bed this morning. You tapped his thigh so he could focus on your face instead and once he held your gaze and sighed, you rolled your eyes.

“Always in the gutter.” You commented.

“You’re in there with me.” He threw back at you with a smirk. With his grip on your forearm, he pulled you closer in between his legs. Feeling his warmth had you taking a deep breath as he stared at you without word.

“So what’s on the agenda? Everyone’s looking at us, they’re gonna pick up on it.”

“It’s been two years, let them speculate.”

“You know now that I’ve seen you, I just want to leave now and my girls are gonna ask questions.”

“Tell them what you want.” He said. “In about thirty minutes, you’re gonna meet me out front and we’ll go back to my place.”

“What are we doing at your place?” You asked as you played with his zipper.

“You’ll find out when we get there but make sure you book a hair appointment soon.”

“Jesus Christ.” You breathed out as you let his words sink into your bones.

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay … Sir.”

“Good girl.”

God, the urge to kiss him was strong within you but instead you pulled away from him and got back to reality. You patted his chest before you finally withdrew and went back to your table.

“What in the hell was that?!” Chanel exclaimed. “You were trying to play coy with us but you knew that Lewis Hamilton was going to be here?!”

“Yeah, friends my ass.” Vanessa snickered

“First of all, I didn’t know he was going to be here.” You spoke as you reached for the bottle of fresh champagne on the table.

“Was he the one messaging you?” “Is this the first time you’ve seen him in a social setting?” “Girl what the hell was that? Y’all were all up on each other?!” “Yeah, what was that about?”

“What is with all these damn questions?” You tried to laugh them off and focused on drinking. All your friends narrowed their eyes at you.

“This is not over.” Maria pointed at you.

“Whatever.” You playfully smacked her hand away from your direction. And for the next thirty minutes, you had tried to focus back your attention on your friends but since talking to Lewis, your body was riddled with anticipation.

Not wanting to wait any longer, you quickly said your goodbyes, they playfully jeered you as you walked away. You rolled your eyes laughing at their remarks. When you got outside, Lewis’s bodyguard was waiting outside of his truck to open the door for you.

You greeted him softly as you slid into the truck and sat yourself beside your boyfriend, who placed a light kiss on your cheek. You melted into the side of his body as you rode from the lounge to his property.

When you got up to his penthouse, you were in awe of the interior design. You especially loved his floor to ceiling windows that gave you the most perfect view of the New York skyline. Your toes wiggled against the heated floors as you had taken your heels off the moment you entered his home.

You were standing by the window when Lewis came behind you, holding a small glass of wine.

“You always said that you’d wanted to taste one of my wines from my infamous wine fridge.”

“I always found it interesting that you’re not much of a drinker but every home you own has a wine fridge and a small bar.”

“I like the aesthetic of it.” He shrugged his shoulders. “And just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean I can’t cater to the people around me who do.”

You took a sip of the beverage and you almost moaned at the richness of the wine hitting your tastebuds. You had always been a wine snob and Lewis indulged in your tastes by buying you expensive wines that you wouldn’t even think of.

“I can’t believe you got me a bottle of Burgundy.”

“You’d been raving about it for a week when you saw that it was being auctioned. Personally I don’t see what the fuss is about.” His last comment caused you to laugh. The bottle was a Chateau Latour from 1984, matured for forty years and you had wanted it since your first big paycheck. The bottle being auctioned was a blessing in disguise but you always talked yourself out actually spending close to £500 for it.

Lewis bought it for you without a blink.

You took another sip, a larger one than the last.

“It has very intense notes. It’s herby but has a lot of fruity notes coming to the top. Black cherries and blackberries is what I taste the most but it leaves an earthy note when it’s done.”

“You sound so hot when you talk like that.” Lewis softly groaned which caused you to blush. You placed the nearly empty wine glass down as he encroached into your personal space. You tried to ignore the way that he was staring you down which was causing your heart to beat incredibly fast. You had always reacted like this to him and you honestly thought that was never going to change.

You licked your lips as he cupped your cheeks in his hands and caressed your skin with his thumbs.

“I just love hearing you talk about things you’re passionate about.” He traced your bottom lip with his thumb as he dropped one of his hands to your waist and pulled you into his body.

“Thank you.” You whispered, admiring his beauty up close. You loved the small beauty spot that sat high on his cheekbone and the double nose piercings with diamonds that caught the light from all angles. His lashes were long and curled and as he looked at you - they seemed to be touching his cheeks.

“Want a taste of the wine?” You asked with a little smirk on your lips as Lewis moved his hand to the back of your head.

“Yeah, give me a taste.” He mumbled before he leaned down and captured your mouth. Lewis moaned softly as he savoured the residue of the wine still on your lips. You couldn’t move your head much as he had moved his hands to cup your face in his palms as he controlled the kiss. You melted into his hold, silently begging for more as you held onto his wrists trying to stabilise yourself.

You nibbled on his bottom lip which caused him to growl, he walked you backwards until you were pressed into the window behind you. Finally, he moved his hands away from your face and trailed them down your body and gripped you as you wrestled with his tongue. His hands dipped into the hem of your skirt until one of his fingers hooked on your thong.

“Can we move to the bedroom?” You whispered as Lewis kissed down the length of your neck. Your fingers moved to his hair, tugging on his braids as his tongue licked on your pretty brown skin.

“No one can see you from up here.” He said as he licked on your earlobe before sucking on it.

“Maybe next time but I want you to take me on your bed.”

“You want me to fuck you into my mattress is that it?”

“Yes.” You gasped at his words and then he picked you up in his arms and began walking towards the bedroom. You capture his lips again - in a far more frantic manner as you clawed at his clothes, begging him to take them off. He threw you onto his king sized bed and then discarded his jacket and white vest.

“Take it all off.” He commanded you which caused you to whimper. You stripped out of your clothes until you were left in just your thong and before you could pull them down, Lewis pulled you towards him by your ankle, squealing as he dragged you. Your back settled down onto the bed as Lewis positioned himself in between your legs and pulled your thongs away from your cunt.

Lewis felt you tremble as he parted your folds with his fingers, teasing them as he watched you react to his touch.

“I always tell you this but you have such a pretty pussy sweetheart.”

“And you love playing with my pretty pussy.”

“Yeah I do. I’m gonna play with you and make you feel so good until I’ve had enough.” You moaned at his words and thrusted your pussy into his face. Lewis chuckled at your desperation, pressing the pad of his thumb on your clit.

“How bad do you want it?” He asked you as you took off your underwear completely.

“I want it so bad baby.” You replied as he got onto his knees and placed your legs on his shoulders. “Please.” You pleaded.

“Ugh.” Lewis groaned. “I love it when you get like this. So needy before I even touch you.” He turned his head to place kisses on the inner of your thighs.

“Because you love teasing me until I can’t take it.” He smirked at you right before he buried his head in your thighs. The first burst of your small whimpers left you as he wrapped his lips around your clit and softly sucked it into his mouth. Your hands quickly found their way into your hair, tugging on the strands as he sucked on your sensitive bud. His eyes moved upward to meet yours that were already looking down at him. Lewis’s gaze was so intense as he caught your every reaction.

Shaky breaths left you as he flicked his tongue back and forth on your nub. Your sweetness trickled into his mouth, dipping the muscle into your cunt. You squirmed in his arms as he continued giving you slow strokes of his tongue before changing the motion into a suction.

“Oh shit!” You gasped as you jerked up to your elbows and pushed the back of your heels into his muscled, tattooed back. Lewis softly groaned against you as his cock strained in his pants.

“Just like that.” You moaned as you pulled on the covers beneath you as you rolled your hips into his mouth. Just as your orgasm was on the eclipse, he pulled away from you and your sound of despair was music to his ears as he grabbed a strip of condoms from the bedside table and he threw them beside you on the bed.

“I hate it when you stop just as I’m about to cum.” You whined as you watched him cover his dick with the condom.

“I know sweetheart but tonight, I only want to feel you cumming on me.” He told you as he traced your opening with the tip of his cock as he crowded your body from above. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he hiked your legs to his waist. Lewis leaned down and pressed a searing kiss onto your lips, you hummed into his mouth as you tasted yourself on his tongue.

He slowly slid inside.

“Fuck.” The both of you sighed. You dug your nails into his shoulders as he slid further into your cunt. Your lips brushed against each other as he slowly dragged his cock in and out of you as you continued to adjust to the stretch. Two years on and you still took a little time to accommodate him.

He placed a kiss on your hairline as he whispered sweet words in your ear. “Always tight and sweet for me.” You whimpered at his words as you tried to push your hips up to encourage him to pick up speed but all he did was put his hands in the crook of your knees, pushing them down. From the new position, his chains were dangling down into your face.

“Baby.” You called him.

“Yeah baby?”

“Don’t go sweet on me. I need you.” His strokes were slow, building his momentum but hearing you say that made his jaw clench. He’d always tried to be gentle with you never really letting his mask slip but there were times before where he had given you a taste and you craved for Lewis to let go of his inhibition.

“I’ll ruin you sweetheart. I’ll ruin you for good.” He mumbled as he pecked your lips.

“I’m yours. Do what you want to me.”

Lewis let your words wash over you and they made him buckle. He dropped his forehead onto yours with his eyes closed.

“Do you know the traffic light system?” He asked you and you quickly nodded your head in response.”

“Green means go, amber is slow down and red is stop.”

“Good girl.” He hummed, giving you one more kiss. “I still want a safe word.”

“Burgundy.” You shot out an answer which caused him to smirk.

“That’s my girl.” He sat up but he was still holding you down as he angled his hips and hit your spot at a different angle. Your breath ceased, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he began to focus on that same spot - thrusting into you hard and fast. Your walls tightly clenched around him, strangling his cock as your body was swept in pleasure. Because of the previous build up, your orgasm was quickly rising.

He could feel your warmth and wetness through the sheath of the latex and for the umpteenth time, his mind wandered to how you’d feel without the barrier in between you. His knees were already buckling , he knew without the condom, he’d crumble. However, he had to focus. Your moans were calling out to him, your hand was pressing at his abdomen to try and relieve some of the pressure but he wasn’t going to let up.

He would get you right to the edge, get your legs shaking before he would stop. Edging you over and over until you were begging with tears trailing down the sides of your face.

“Please, please, please, please.” You rambled as you thrashed your head around, completely overwhelmed with your nerves being overshot by his actions and his dick pushing deeper inside of you. Your eyes were closed as you tried to regulate your breathing to focus on not climaxing.

“Open your eyes baby.” Lewis grabbed your cheeks, the pain of his blunt nails digging into your skin forced you to open your eyes. “There you go. I need you to keep looking at me as I fuck you stupid.”

He hiked up your right leg to his shoulder as he picked up his pace, pounding into you harder and faster.

“Lewis!” You exclaimed his name as your back arched off the bed, gasping for air as his hips snapped harshly against your skin. He loved the way his name fell from your lips, the best music to his ears. “Right there baby!”

“Open your mouth.” He demanded and you promptly let your mouth part. He hovered above you and let some spit drop into your mouth. You whimpered as you quickly swallowed and showed him your tongue to show him that you’d done it.

“That’s my good girl.” He smiled at you and then wiped your bottom lip, smudging the last of your lipstick. His fingers were so close and you took them into your mouth, sucking on them causing his rhythm to stutter. He pushed his fingers a little bit further into your mouth which caused you to gag a little bit and you kept sucking on his digits.

You have a thing for choking and he’d picked up on that but hadn’t really done much to play with you until now. Lewis took his fingers out of your mouth and brought them to your neck and applied just enough pressure to make your walls clamp up around him. You squeezed your eyes closed as more tears came - you couldn’t hold back anymore, our body was begging for release and Lewis continued with his teasing.

“Hold your legs up.” He told you and when your arms hooked around your trembling thighs, Lewis bent his body so that his head was closer to your chest and took a nipple into his mouth. He grazed your areola with his teeth before sucking on your nipple causing your walls to quiver around his dick.

Even without words, Lewis could feel your body crying for release. “My dirty, dirty girl. I can feel you milking my dick, just trying to take me for all my worth.” Using his weight to hold you down, one hand still around his neck and the other coming in between your bodies to pinch your clit before moving his fingers in swift and fast circles on your nub.

“This pretty pussy doesn’t want to let me go sweetheart.” He whispered into your ear before placing a kiss on your shoulder. “Squeezing me so fucking tight.”

“I need to come.” Your lips were against his ear, his cold jewellery touching your warm, flushed skin. “Please let me come, Sir. Let me come for you.”

“What if I don’t want you to? What if I just want you right on the edge? Hm? What if it brings me pleasure edging you and watching you suffer?”

“Baby…”

“You can stop it now. Just give me the word and I’ll end it all right now.”

You shook your head. “Don’t stop.”

Lewis then shifted your position yet again, this time with your knees now on each side of your head. He began fucking you harder than before which left you incoherent, begging and pleading for any and everything.

Your juices were drenching the both of you and with each thrust, the slapping of wet skin caused an echo to carry across the room.

“I’m gonna come!” You inhaled sharply as your chest heaved for air. Lewis placed a kiss onto the back of your leg.

“Come for me baby. Wanna feel you drench my dick.” His words broke the dam. Your whole body was set ablaze as your orgasm consumed your body as you called out his name in a desperate cry. Lewis dropped his head into the crook of your neck, sucking your skin into his mouth as he fucks you through the climax.

His thrusts became irregular and sloppy until he was moaning against your flesh as he erupted into the condom. You held onto each other as the both of you tried to control your breathing. Your bodies were covered in sweat and the stickiness of your fluids in between your legs.

Your body was still vibrating from the intensity of your orgasm. “I can’t feel my legs.” You mumbled in his ear causing Lewis to chuckle. He turned his head and kissed along your jawline before capturing your lips into a soft kiss.

“Did I hurt you baby?”

“In all of the best ways.” You smiled against his lips. “One of the best orgasms you’ve ever given me.”

“One of many.”

“God, I love you.” You groaned as you wrapped your arms around his neck as he began to move away from the bed and towards the bathroom. He sat you on the counter of the sink as he walked to the bathtub to fill it with water before coming back to you.

He parted your legs and grabbed a wet rag and began wiping you down. “Are you sure I didn’t hurt you baby?” The marks of his touch were beginning to show on your skin and the concern in his tone made you swoon. You placed a hand on his cheek and made him look at you.

“I’m fine baby, I swear. I still feel like you’re holding back on me.” You replied.

“It’s our first time venturing into that type of play. I don’t want to overwhelm you just yet. Things tonight were already intense so we need to be careful about that.”

“Hmmm.” You hummed as your walls clenched around nothing and your nipples began to tighten. “God, I love it when you talk to me like that.”

Lewis smirked down at you before leaning forward and kissing you once more. “I take being a dom very seriously. You’re my girl and I love you so I have to be extra cautious.”

“Are you finally going to make me yours completely?”

“You already are, sweetheart, I don’t need to dominate you to prove that.” He licked his lips before picking you up and walking you to the tub.

“No, but it would be nice.” Your answer caused him to laugh as he settled the both of you in the warm water. Your body was sore in all of the right places and here you were in the arms of the same man who brought you the sinful pleasure and now the most tender affection.

The duality of his love.

ru’s letters 💌: I cannot believe that this was sitting in my drafts for two years. I did some adjustments for it to be a sequel and instead of a prequel. Hope you loved it my angels 😘.

edit: thinking of doing a final part for this where we fully explore Lewis in a full Dom mode. Let me know what you think 🫶🏾

#mauvecherie writes #duality fic #lewis hamilton x black reader #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis x reader #lewis hamilton x yn #lewis hamilton x y/n #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton x black oc #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton fic #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton one shot #sir lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton #lh

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pagodazz · 3 months

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Emh fans when they're asked to stop sexualizing Evan Jennings and his characters because it makes him and his wife uncomfortable:

hope y'all are so happy with yourself for going against his wishes and being fucking freaks to him. You're all why he's barely online anymore. you cannot behave and you cannot be normal and you all have ruined what could be a very fun fandom.

Everyone in this fandom sees Evan as a piece of meat basically, you all only care about his character because Evan is a good looking guy. I mean!! let's be real here!!! let me quiz you on the lore!!! let me see just how fucking much you know about ALL the characters. let me see how much you ACTUALLY give a shit. Because all any of you do is post about how attractive you find Evan/habit and it's honestly so annoying.

I'm not saying you can't compliment him??? or appreciate his looks?? but drawing him in sexually compromising positions, writing in great detail about what you want him to do to you (PUBLICLY. no one gives a SHIT what you fucking do in private.) Or you're fucking mixing up habit and Evan, and just acting like you know his story when CLEARLY the most of you have watched habit compilations on YouTube and NOTHING else.

You cannot even convince me otherwise because I deal with people coming in my comments all the time asking about BASIC INFORMATION. like IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE PRINCETON TAPES ????? WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK????? YOU NEED THAT FOR THE SERIES. YOU CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HALF THE THINGS WITHOUT IT???????

This isn't saying you can't write fanfiction or shit like that this is JUST SAYING BE RESPECTFUL?????? these slenderverse actors ARE NOT A LIST CELEBRITIES. they're not like fucking Oscar Isaac or whoever people are obsessed with right now. THEY'RE NOT FAMOUS. THIS IS NICHE. THIS IS NOT POPULAR MEDIA 😭😭😭😭

Emh literally made NO money from their series, they didn't create it to gain anything like that. they created something fun and NOW YOU ALL ARE THE REASON THEY HAVE NO PART IN THIS FANDOM ANYMORE.

you robbed them of being able to love their creation and I hope you're all happy about that honestly because it seems like this fandom is only gonna get worse in this area. and I'm deeply disappointed.

edit: I would like to add one thing, Vincent caffarello had to deal with situations of extreme sexualization as well, and his got to the point to where he had to leave. Vinnie used to be very involved with the fandom, he even used to read fanfic which he had to stop doing because people would be writing characters to SEXUALLY ASSAULT HIM or others and he just couldn't continue to read things like that. He delt with minors sending him explicit photos and messages and that's literally all kinds of FUCKED UP. He did NOT want to be involved with that stuff.

It's like when Evan had someone impersonate him to try to get with minors. THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT OBJECTS FOR YOU TO SEEK OUT PLEASURE WITH. THEY ARE PEOPLE.

they are HUMAN.

if they were women?? would you be doing this as much??? or would you realize how messed up it really is.

#everymanhybrid #slenderverse #emh #marble hornets #vinny everyman #vinnie everyman #habit emh #habit #jeff emh #evan emh #evan myers #evan jennings #mlandersen0 #darkharvest00

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qqueenofhades · 2 years

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i do genuinely hesitate to ask, as i am sure i will find out more than i meant to in time, but atm my various feeds and an uninformed google are not telling me what most recently exploded about the british government, so if you have the time and the inclination i'm agog for your summary/take

HOO BOY. It has been a Things Exploding In the British Government day to the extent that in the hour-odd between my previous post and this one, I had to go back and check if anything ELSE had exploded while I wasn't looking. Everything that they are currently denying will probably be confirmed within the next 12 hours or less, though, so nobody get too comfortable.

Anyway, we all remember how Liz Truss succeeded Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, met the Queen, the Queen immediately fucking croaked which honestly was the funniest time she could possibly have done it, the country ground to a total halt for ten days, and then when it got going again, Truss and her chancellor (aka finance minister, for those of you happily ignorant of British politics), Kwasi Kwarteng, proposed a Thatcherite wet-dream economic plan of unfunded massive tax cuts for rich people, because something something Stimulate Growth. We are also generally aware that this crashed the pound through the floor, blew up people's mortgages and other mildly important bills, and did nothing to deal with the actual energy bills/cost of living crisis currently engulfing the UK. Oops.

After absolutely everybody, including the commie socialists at the Bank of England, screamed OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU MORONS DOING???, and the day after Kwarteng insisted he would absolutely remain in post and he had 100% confidence in the Plan, he... got sacked for creating this, the Plan that Truss had asked him to deliver and which had won her the Tory party members' election. This made him officially the second-shortest serving chancellor in UK history aside from the guy who literally died in office. Womp womp. That will be a pub quiz answer for you. You're welcome.

Having spent all this time hiding from the press, then giving eight-minute press conferences during which you could literally track the pound crashing in real time, and performing more U-turns than a dancing dashboard hood ornament, Liz Truss took a break from her busy schedule of conducting the Economic Disaster Waltz in the key of B Fucked to appoint Jeremy Hunt as the new chancellor. Jeremy Hunt is mostly notable for being a Tory who can put his pants on without assistance and being a genteel failure at all the previous cabinet posts he's held, which is why he is now regarded as a "safe pair of hands" in a party that has dissolved into a lot of shit-flinging coked-up gibbons who can only scream BREXIT BREXIT BREXIT and IMMIGRATION IS BAD!!! (Side note: they recently had to cancel a festival designed to "celebrate the freedoms of Brexit" due to logistics issues associated with, you guessed it, Brexit. That is not directly relevant to the current clusterfuck, but it is too funny not to include.)

To nobody's surprise, Jeremy Hunt then ripped up the entire economic plan and offered a new one, which was not measurably better than the last one but at least reversed some of the most egregious cuts, and which made everyone ask if Liz Truss had been tied up and duct-taped in the boot of a Range Rover and/or if Hunt had secretly staged a coup with the help of Larry the Downing Street Cat and taken over the government. Probably nobody in the Tory party would mind very much if he had, because they were all busy either planning how to oust Truss or publicly denying that they were indeed planning to oust Truss. One of the popular names for her successor? Boris Johnson! No, I am not making this up. Maybe this has all been a horrible dream and we're going to wake up and find that BoZo is back in charge, after massive public scandal for being a serial liar, which he had been from Day 1, finally made him resign. I repeat, what even the hell is going on here. Nobody knows. Meanwhile, Hunt is warning about even more budget austerity and "eye-watering" cuts to public services that can least afford it, because the last decade didn't result in quite enough preventable deaths for the Tories' tastes, and because they have been forced into this by a car crash completely of their own making.

....anyway. This brings us, more or less, to today. Yesterday, Truss refused to commit to protecting something called the pensions triple lock, which guarantees that old-age pensions (the UK form of social security) will rise in line with inflation, costs, or earnings. A) Inflation in the UK is now at a whopping 10.1%, and B) given as old people are literally the only demographic still willing to vote for the Tories, this miiiiiight seem like an even more unnecessarily stupid and self-sabotaging idea. Sure enough, U-Turn Number Eight Million was duly performed this morning, and Truss insisted she had always intended for the triple lock to be protected. But would Universal Credit and other welfare/benefits programs also be adjusted upward for inflation? HELL NAH! THOSE ARE FOR POOR PEOPLE! GROSS!

This, however, was only the beginning of the unpeeling of the latest idiot banana. Keir Starmer, riding high on the back of recent polls that have given Labour a 36-point lead and predicted that the Tories could be left with as few as 22 seats in Parliament if a general election was called tomorrow (leaving the SNP as the official opposition), appeared at Prime Minister's Questions and got to shoot fish in a barrel. Truss did not dissolve into a pile of goo on the floor and/or have a bucket of water thrown on her and melt into Margaret Thatcher, so that was taken as a win. Well, at least for two hours or so. Then Suella Braverman, the ex-Attorney General who had briefly run for the leadership when BoZo resigned, and who exists along with Priti Patel in order to prove that in the modern Tory party, women of color can heroically be just as much as awful xenophobic monsters as crusty old white dudes, resigned as Home Secretary. Did you even know she was Home Secretary? Neither did she. She took over Patel's job in a bid to apparently make Patel look cute and cuddly by comparison, as she is even more determined to do horrible things to migrants as much as possible. The official reason given for her resignation was that she sent an official document from her personal email account, and this had something to do with immigration and/or the Office of Budget Responsibility forecast that the Tories have, in the valiant spirit of freedom, resisted actually publishing for any of their current economic plans. CONSERVATIVES ARE GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY!! yell people on both sides of the Atlantic. Oh-kay.

Anyway, Braverman used her resignation letter to blast Truss for pretending that everything was fine and dandy, which means the BUT HER EEEEEEMAILS was absolutely just an excuse and even she wanted off this sinking ship as fast as possible. Grant Shapps is now the Home Secretary. It's not important. The point is, if more ministers start resigning, the government will probably implode just as it did when they deserted BoZo en masse. What the hell happens then? Fuck if anyone knows. Since they will, as noted, get absolutely cosmically annihilated if they call a General Election, the Tories will resist doing that with all their might (the next one isn't due until 2024, which is about 1004329 years away at the current rate that time is passing here). Truss was already elected by a tiny minority of the country (about 160,000 Tory party members). STICK RISHI SUNAK IN THERE AND CHANGE THE RULES AGAIN?? HECK, SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN! KEEP THOSE MUSICAL CHAIRS COMING, CHAPS!

(Also: we will recall the Daily Star's Lettuce Cam, where a picture of Liz Truss has been placed next to a head of lettuce to see if she is kicked out of office before it rots away. It now has a special companion, Tofu. This is because Braverman, just yesterday, gave a speech attacking the latest round of climate protesters as being spurred on by Labour, the Lib Dems, and the "Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati," which she doubtless thought was a very clever line at the time. Because British Twitter is British Twitter, the Tofu: 1, Braverman: 0 jokes have been rife.)

And since we are still not done: tonight, Labour forced a vote on a fracking ban which was being treated as a de facto confidence vote in the government. Aka if the Tories voted for it, they would be considered to be defying the government. Because Britain is a cartoon country run by clowns, the method of Parliamentary voting literally involves walking through Door A for Aye and Door B for Nay. The "whips," or the people whose job it is to assure that party members vote according to the government's position, have thus been known to physically stuff recalcitrant MPs through these doors, because Hail Britannia, or something. So we soon had reports that the anti-fracking vote was, dare I say it, a total clusterfrack, and the Tory whips were literally throwing crying Tory MPs through the Nay door so they would Vote To Support The Government. This sounds like a beginning to a Monty Python sketch, but it is just another ordinary evening in British politics in 2022! (Did Truss herself vote? Or BoZo, Patel, or any of the other Tory big beasts? Nope. Evidently she was "too distracted" with all the other crises going on, which probably means she just didn't want to show her face or she might get killed. Hard to blame her.)

So: the fracking ban was defeated, Labour MPs were like "oh my god the sheer clownery," even Tory MPs were spitting mad, we soon had more rumors that both the Tory chief whip and the deputy chief whip had resigned (currently in the Official Denial stage, so yeah, that will be confirmed before tomorrow morning), and I haven't even mentioned the part where one of Liz Truss's press aides admitted that they used to lie about various relatives of hers having just died so Truss didn't have to do interviews (actual quote: "just aunts and cousins, not any major relatives!"). We all wondered if that wasn't actually a lie but the minor members of the Truss family had voluntarily decided to die rather than have anyone know that they were related to her. Either that or she just sent MI6 after them. It's entirely possible.

#rionsanura #ask #politics for ts #uk politics #i truly cannot explain the magnitude of this clown show #truly #long post

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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months

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A MARAUDERS KAHOOT!

(Kind of)

So Kahoot would only let 40 people participate unless I paid like $100 for a year subscription, so I redid the quiz on quizizz, which is like kahoot except with powerups (yay!)

Rules:

This link is open until Sunday (4/21) noon EST so you have until then to play!

You do not need an account to play. It's free <3

Use your Tumblr name as your nickname, that way I can announce the top 5 at the end of the week!

The top five players will get to send me a request for any microfic they want! (within reason, respecting my boundaries)

First place gets a full-length oneshot! (like 2-5k words)

You're welcome to play as many times as you want because it's fun, but if you do, I'll take your lowest score for places, just to be fair. <3

All questions are based off of facts (as in, none of my personal headcanons), so if you think anything is wrong, please let me know! I used the Harry Potter Lexicon to double-check my work, but I can always make mistakes.

However, I do ask factual questions about many fanon ships (i.e. what does "starchaser" mean) so please be aware that multiple ships are mentioned. I tried to include all of the popular ones, even if they aren't my personal favorites.

Please reblog this so as many people can enjoy it as possible! I worked hard lol.

After Sunday, I'll restart the game just for fun and leave a link on my pinned post.

Let me know if you have tech issues! I am NOT tech savvy but I'll do my best to help!

UPDATE: If you don't finish because of a glitch or whatever, I won't count the score. Just finished scores.

So much love to you all! <3

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theangel-aziraphale · 5 months

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I was tagged by @ex-supreme-archangel-gabriel but it seems the post is no longer rebloggable. So I’ve decided to start a new post!

What to do:

Post the results from this quiz.

Create yourself in this picrew. (or attach a drawing of yourself instead!)

Tag some friends!

I’ll start.

So Much Fanfiction

You have so, so much fanfiction, either because you're so shippable, or because you're hot. Maybe both. Probably both. You definitely flirt with everyone, either way. Tumblr and Twitter love you and showers you with queer headcanons. Reddit keeps a safe distance.

Thank you, for the tag Gabriel! I… well. we do seem rather popular online. and have had people meddle in our personal lives affairs so much so we have finally ended up together.

@thedemon-crowley , @the-angel-muriel , @imthebentley , @bentleysbeetle , @samael-your-guardian-angel , @asmodeus-fallen-principality , and anyone else who would like to join in! There’s no obligation to join in, I simply thought it was fun!

#the angel aziraphale #// join if you like idk what nonhuman characters will do but i guess you can design a human oc or add a drawing if you like!

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vivwritesfics · 9 months

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Keep on Rolling - MV1

Chapter Three

Summary: Lando's best friend having feelings for anyone on the grid? Impossible, right? She worked with them, sharing her friendship with the grid with the world via the FormulaY/N youtube channel.

After film a video including... spicy water (alcohol), everything changes between her and a certain world champion. Good thing she hasn't had a crush on him since his F1 debut, right?

Right?

1.3K words

Shorter one because I'm moving tomorrow (and I've only just started packing and sorting my living space). Maybe no update for a few days, but I've got things planned, don't you worry.

Series Masterlist

The drunken quiz video was a success. The fans were loving it, almost as much as they loved Paddock Pals. But Y/N still hadn't seen the video. She didn't watch it after James had edited it, couldn't bring herself to. She just had to trust him and his editing skills.

If Y/N had any embarrassing moments in the video, she didn't care. It was the drivers she was looking out for. She couldn't be seen to be sullying their image, an accusation Christian Horner liked to throw around from time to time.

If she really did have any embarrassing moments, they'd be turned into a meme and posted throughout her twitter timeline. They were laughing with her, not at her, she justified.

When the video came out, Y/N had her phone turned off. She was at dinner with Lando, a regular occurrence during grand prix weekends. She couldn't see the immediate reactions of her fans. When she turned her phone on she was flooded with positive messages and screenshots of her best moments.

Nobody saw her interactions with Max as anything but innocent. That's because it wasn't anything but innocent. She'd half hoped that James had taken that part out, had worried about the consequences of them being left in, but nothing happened.

There had always been Y/NStappen shippers and they took what they could get. But the video had no consequences for her. Just the way Y/N liked it.

***

"JUST FRIENDS? WE DON'T THINK SO!"

Y/N stared at the news article in horror. No, no, no, this could not be happening. She clicked on the headline, giving in.

"Formula One driver Charles Leclerc seen out on a coffee date with a mystery woman in Miami."

Below that was a picture of Y/N and Charles. They were innocently having coffee, nothing more, nothing less.

She kept reading.

"This mystery date of his was later revealed to Y/N L/N, the popular Formula One youtube. The two have claimed to just be friends for years, but we don't think so."

Before the Miami grand prix, Charles had taken Y/N to a cafe. It was completely innocent. She was hungover and he was looking after her. As a friend. Nothing more.

In the cafe Y/N had told Charles about her slight crush on Max. Now, she was in the tabloids and rumoured to be dating Charles. What the hell was she going to do.

The YouTube channel was a two man operation - she didn't have PR team behind her to help.

Her phone buzzed several times. Texts, Instagram DMs, emails and twitter notifications. They all went off at the same time. But Y/N ignored them. She scrolled through her messages until she got to the all important person.

That made her smile. Lando always did. It was why they were best friends. But suddenly Y/N felt bad. She hadn't told Lando about the Max situation and he was her best friend. Why does Charles have more of a right to know than he does? Because he was in the right place at the right time?

There were more pressing things she had to take care of. Opening her twitter , Y/N began to type.

She had to turn her phone off after that. The notifications were too much. Instead, she turned her attention to her notebook. Monaco was the next grand prix and she wanted to do something unexpected for her YouTube video. Something she hadn't done before.

A serious interview with the drivers.

She made plans, wrote down questions she was going to ask everyone. They'd have to be pre-race interviews. There was no way she was getting a moment with anybody once the real press swarmed in.

Her phone lit up, but she ignored it. She was working, didn't need any distractions.

When she had one page of questions finished, she checked her phone. With so many notifications, Y/N went straight to the important ones. Messages from Lando, James and Charles, emails about potential sponsorships and Formula One news.

"What the hell," she whispered to herself as she looked at the Formula One news. She skipped the articles about herself and Charles (glad to seen none about herself and Max) and scrolled down to the news articles about the one, the only, Fernando Alonso.

She skipped the headlines, just reading the article.

'Secret romance? Rumours have been swirling around the internet about a potential romance between two time Formula One world champion, Fernando Alonso, and world famous popstar, Taylor Swift.'

"No way. No fucking way."

She had to say something, right? She had to put out a tweet or something, surely. This was maybe the best rumour to come out of Formula One social media.

***

Ever since the drunken quiz video, Y/N had been trying to avoid Max. She hadn't messaged him or sent him anything on social media. After he disappeared from her room without another word, Y/N hadn't tried. She didn't want to.

If Max say it as a drunken mistake, Y/N wouldn't blame him. Even if nothing happened. But that was the problem. She didn't want it to be a drunken mistake where nothing happened. She didn't even want it to be a drunken mistake.

With the Monaco grand prix coming up, Y/N knew she couldn't avoid him. It was the biggest, most spectacular grand prix. It was such a small place and it was where Max lived. It was the one grand prix Y/N was arriving late for, plane tickets booked for Friday instead of for the Monday.

Lando wasn't happy with her for that one. Who could blame him? He wanted his best friend there for the entire week. He'd even offered her somewhere to stay for the week.

On the Wednesday before the race, Lando was sick of it. He picked up his phone and called Y/N non-stop until she picked up the phone.

"No, I can't get an earlier flight," she said as soon as she picked up the phone.

Lando let out an almost childish groan. "But why not? You can come and stay at mine for the entire week."

"Lando, no. I can't. I'm working."

"Shut up, no you're not. Beside everybody wants you here. Me, Charles, Daniel, Alex and Max."

"Max want's me there?"

"Yeah, as well as Charles, Deniel and Alex. And, most importantly, me."

“Look, Lando, I’ll see what I can do. No promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Brilliant, let me know when you land and I’ll come and pick you up.”

Not giving Y/N any time to respond, Lando hung up the phone. Y/N shook her head as she went into her messages.

Ouch.

Well that told her everything she needed to know. But Max was right. What was there to tell? From his end, certainly nothing. For her, everything.

Y/N felt like crying. Why? Because some guy she spent a drunken evening with didn’t want to do it again. His focus was racing, not Y/N.

That was when she decided. She would go to Monaco early not let whatever was going on with Max ruin that for her. Well, according to him, nothing was going on. so that was it. She was going to go, she was going to have a nice time and she was going to watch some racing.

Opening her laptop she worked on changing her flight ticket for that evening, paid the fee and began packing her things.

As she packed she had Netflix open, downloading episodes of Drive to Survive. Y/N hadn't yet watched the Netflix series; she didn't need to when she was living it. Sure she'd seen things online, quotes and screenshots. When Y/N had Max in her videos, laughing and joking around, people commented about how badly the show demonized him.

As soon as her bags were packed, Y/N drove to the airport. She parked herself up, got her bags checked in and waited for her flight.

Taglist (Open): @sticksdoesart @eviethetheatrefreak @eugene-emt-roe @glai1023-blog @mqcherie @itsjustkhaos @chonkybonky @arian-directioner

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shiny-jr · 1 year

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damnation (peek I?)

Warning: Yes, this is a yandere thing. Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Ace Trappola, Trey Clover, Cater Diamond, Riddle Rosehearts.

Summary: When you commit a crime, you receive a punishment. This is especially true in your society. No matter the crime, your punishment is the same: banishment. But to where you will be sent in exile and how miserable will it be? No one knows, because no one has ever returned.

Note: So, as mentioned in previous posts, this is only a snippet of what is to come in a project I’m working on. I just wanted to do something for my followers since we have surpassed the milestone that is 4,000 hearts, which is huge. So thank you! Unfortunately, I don’t really have time for a special like I’ve done before where I accept requests since I’ve been so busy with irl stuff and the current twst quiz project. So here’s a small bit of what you can hopefully expect. Remember, I may or may not change things, so what you see now may not be the same later in the final result. That being said, I’m sorry I couldn’t provide much else besides peeks at three of the seven results. I still have a LOT more to write. Like, a ton. But I hope you all look forward of what is to come. Added: Deleted the Scarabia and Pomefiore part to create their own sneak-peeks later.

I . . . II . . . III . . . IV . . . V . . . VI . . . VII

First there will be questions you must answer. Questions that I will not reveal in this sneak-peek, but based on the answers you give to those questions, you will receive a result with a story. This post is a peek at some of those stories/results. Important things to keep in mind that you learn from the questions:

The mc is deemed a criminal in their society.

All criminals in this society are banished, no matter how insignificant or significant the crime may be.

This particular society makes a show of banishment, to make others fear this fate. Which mc recalls seeing trials on tv about past criminals.

All criminals are never seen or heard from again. No one knows for certain what happens to them, but most assume death.

Although the most popular fantastical theory is that criminals become henchmen for infamous evil-doers, and receive punishment there that may range from anywhere like a violent painful death to spending eternity in some tiny horrid prison.

THE RED QUEEN

Robes. You were wearing robes of the finest quality that weighed heavily on your shoulders. This surface you laid on felt... nice. Soft, nothing like the hard bench of the prison cell. As you sat up and recalled your current dire situation, you felt a sense of dread loom overhead like a thick blanket of gray clouds. Immediately, fearfully, you scanned your surroundings. Everything was painted red, there was so much red velvet. The floors were polished checkered black and white and the furniture, if not completely red, was crafted of finely carved wood. It was fancy here. Safe, for now. Wherever this place was.

There was something hefty on your head, only noticing its weight settling on your skull as you moved to stand up from the crimson red sheets on the king-sized mattress. As you removed the item from your head, you were perplexed to see a small golden crown and a heart-shaped staff beside the spot you had laid on. Wait just a moment... red everywhere? A fancy setting? A crown and a heart-shaped staff? Rapidly you dashed over to the mirror just beside the bed, gasping at your appearance.

You were dressed just like royalty. And not just any royalty, like a king. A king of red with a heart-shaped staff... Just like the meek king that was married to the ruthless Queen of Hearts from the fairytales. So it was true, criminals were often sent to dangerous tales where they would perish. And you... you were a criminal and you were here, but... you were the king. How did the story go again?

The Red Queen, or Queen of Hearts, ruled over Wonderland with an iron fist. She would behead anyone who got in her way, and her reign terrorized the residents of the realm. That is, until Alice fell down a hole and arrived in Wonderland. She would eventually free this land from the oppressive rein of the queen. As for the king... what happened to him again? He didn't really appear in the story. You wracked your memory for an answer, when the horrid realization came to you. The Red Queen had been so terribly jealous and suspected that her husband was cheating, that she had him beaded! His head left to rot as it floated in a river of blood, surrounded by the heads of other victims, and the king's lifeless skull still with the crown. He had died before Alice even arrived in Wonderland!

You clutched your neck, grimacing at the thought of your own detached head, crown still attached, doomed to sail in a moat of blood. It made you sick to your stomach just thinking about it. There had to be a way to prevent your death, or at least stall for time, but how? The king couldn't just up and run away! People would take notice immediately, someone would inform the queen, and you'd be a goner for sure! But then what? You couldn't kill her either, could you...? It certainly was an idea. You would be doing a favor for the rest of Wonderland too...

THUMP!

Abruptly the doors flew open, nearly causing you to shriek. But you managed to hold your tongue as you quickly placed your crown back on and clutched your staff. When your eyes focused on the door, you were surprised and almost relieved to see the figure of a short young man that had slammed the doors open. He was... rather adorable, actually. It caused you to tilt your head, endeared by his appearance.

The young man had hair that shamed the red roses, and wide gray eyes. As soon as his eyes landed on you, however, his face grew flush and his expression twisted into one of rage. Immediately he slammed the doors shut behind him, stomping up to you, his heels violently clicking against the tiled floors. When the short young man was in your face, another horrible realization dawned on you. With that crown on his head and his wondrous red garbs, this could only be the queen. Or at least, someone meant to be the red queen.

“You knave! Where have you been lurking?!”

“I…” You were at a loss for words. What were you supposed to say? What was the king even doing before you got here? Most importantly, how would you avoid the queen’s wrath?

At your lack of a response, he only seemed to grow more frustrated as he threw wild accusations, “You–– You’ve been sneaking about, seducing the men of my court, haven’t you?! I shall have your head––!”

“Wha–– N-No, I haven’t!” You blurted out. The king was originally beheaded because the queen was jealous and thought she would lose him to others. So if you could assure him that your heart belonged to him, well… survival just might be possible. Although acting wasn’t necessarily your strong point, you could only try for the sake of living another day. Nervously you smiled, throwing aside your staff as you lifted your hands to gently hold his fist he had been angrily waving near your face. Thank god he didn’t have a knife or anything of the sort, or you feared he may have tried to stab you out of raging envy. “How could I ever dare to throw my loyalty to you away…? You are amazing…! I apologize sincerely if I haven’t been able to express my love for you properly. S-Sometimes it feels like you’re really too much for my heart to handle, you in all your… glory…!” Oh god, this was going terribly. All you could do to give the messy act a bow to top it off, was lean your head down and hesitantly kiss the back of his hand.

Miraculously, that seemed to work. Almost. The queen’s face was no longer as flushed, but he gazed down at you as you lingered at his hand. Suspicion was still evident in his eyes. “How do I know?”

“H-Huh…?”

“How do I know you aren’t lying? How do I know you won’t leave me as well? How do I know that you still love me? Prove it to me.” Those gray eyes of his watched you carefully, seemingly unhappy with your lack of a response. After about five seconds of no answer, his face scrunched up and he bellowed, “Guards!! Gua–– mmph!”

Not knowing what else to do, you kissed him. He wanted a sign of devotion, right? Oh god, this was it. Your death was here and now. You had no other way to shut him up. If you covered his mouth with your hands, you were a goner. If you attacked him, you were a goner. If you tried to continue reasoning, you were still a goner! You can’t believe that this was how you died, having to kiss a stranger as your last desperate attempt to live. Well, he wanted a sign. You were ready for him to push you off and armored guards come running in to drag you to the guillotine, when the most unexpected thing happened. He froze, he didn’t fight back or scream bloody murder.

When you slowly pulled away, you were stunned. His face was flush again, but for an entirely different reason other than anger. There was a dazed look on his face, and it almost looked as if he wanted to do it again judging by how he gazed longingly at your lips. It was then you understood that your reckless decision making might’ve just saved your neck.

The red ruler frowned, but you were unsure if it was because he was unsatisfied with something or if it were for another reason entirely. This time, when he opened his mouth, he spoke softly, as if still dazed. “You scoundrel… How dare you play with my heart like this? I should still take your head for that.” You gulped, but he continued. “But… I truly didn’t want to get rid of you. So I’m glad we can avoid that now. I expect to see you well away from the noblemen.”

“Y-Yes… Your Majesty.”

At your obedient response, he smiled and patted your head. “Good.” Taking one step closer, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss against your cheek. He lingered there for a few moments, before taking one step back.

The action left you flustered, embarrassed, because not only had you kissed a stranger but they had kissed you in return. And not only that, this crimson ruler believed you were his partner, the king! Under normal circumstances, you would’ve considered yourself lucky to land in such a position since the king has so much power and wealth. But in this type of situation, you can only shudder to think of what may come next and what would’ve become of you. Because these were no ordinary circumstances, and this was no normal kind ruler.

“Come along now. I don’t want you alone, do you understand?”

“Yes… Your Majesty.”

He beckoned you towards the very doors he entered from, and when he opened them, you were met with another character. It was a tall man with glasses and short messy dark green hair. Immediately he bowed to the queen, but when his eyes landed on you, he looked as if he saw a ghost.

“Change of plans, Trey. We will not be beheading my dear today. Nor tomorrow, I think. They’ve become quite affectionate, so my doubts have been dismissed.”

“O-Of course, Your Majesty…” The glass-wearing man, Trey, glanced over at you with disbelief, but he looked a bit relieved, it’s as if he wanted to say something. But he opted to hold his tongue and instead shifted his gaze forward as he walked beside the red-haired royal. “There is still that soldier imprisoned that displeased you.”

“Ah yes, the one that claimed to see those messy blonde locks but failed to capture our lost wanderer. Bring him to me in the throne room.” Just then he glanced at you as you walked a bit behind him, “My dear, you must be there with me. This should be quite the spectacle. I will see you in a moment.”

“A-As you say, Your Majesty…” You replied stiffly.

He frowned and stopped in his tracks before grabbing your collar and bringing your face closer to his. What you half expected was a sharp knife against your throat, something that would kill you, but there was no such thing. There was only his sharp gaze and disappointed tone. “You’re supposed to respond with: my dear. Not Your Majesty, not Rosehearts, but perhaps I’ll allow Riddle for now. Do you understand, dearest?”

So his name was Riddle. Judging by Riddle’s tone, he wasn’t angry, but rather irked that all the sweetness from earlier was now gone. Proceeding, you chose your words carefully as you attempted to smile as convincingly as possible, “Y-Yes, of course, anything you say, Riddle, my darling.”

At your words his cheeks became a pink hue before he let go of you and cleared his throat, quickly turning away and proceeding forward towards the end of the hall where he had whatever duties to fulfill. So you were left with Trey, his subordinate. The calm tall man’s shoulders sagged once the royal left, all the tension seemingly evaporating from his body. When he gave you a somewhat soft smile, your worries ceased for the moment as well. “I’m glad you’re still intact. I was certain you were a goner.” He was… nice? “You need to be more careful. I don’t know what you did to change Riddle’s mind, but he was ready to behead you himself. You know how he keeps that huge battle ax under his bed. He mentioned something about using that, and I thought he was going to use it to chop your head clean off.”

Oh god. That little guy was going to do that? That stupid kiss really did save your skin. “Heh, I’m still a little shaken…” Wait, you were supposed to be acting like the king! What did the king even act like? How were you supposed to know? He never even lived long enough to make it into the story! “I, um, am very appreciative towards your concern… Trey.”

Trey appeared a bit surprised but he then smiled once more at you. “We’ll talk more later. Right now, we have a situation on our hands.”

What kind of situation? You didn’t even have time to ask when Trey led you down the checkered hall to an opening behind velvet red curtains which were the entrance directly to the large elegant throne room. There, you saw another stranger talking animatedly to the less-than-pleased-looking Rosehearts. This stranger had orange hair that brushed against his lower neck, and he had much more enthusiasm than those you had encountered thus far.

“Dear, there you are.” Instantly Riddle visibly brightened up as he gestured to the soft smaller heart-shaped throne beside his much larger grand seat. “Come, sit, we’re currently discussing the important matters at hand. Such as the dilemma with our prisoner. Cater, continue.”

When this Cater, fellow’s, green eyes trailed over to you, they became filled with surprise as he fumbled over his words, “Huh–– O-Oh! Right!” Forcing his gaze back on the red-haired royal, he began explaining, “There’s nothing really new to talk about, Your Majesty! I mean, seriously, this rookie was just the unlucky one that happened to see that blondie Ellis. According to him when I went to question him, he just said that he saw the guy in blue and when he went to confront him, Ellis escaped with some purple beastman!”

“Purple beastman…?” For a mere moment he appeared perplexed, when quickly the dots began to connect in his mind as he gasped, “Chen’ya! Why, the nerve of that––!”

When you saw his face begin to heat up again and a look of anger crossed his face, you slowly placed your hand over his arm that rested on the armrest of the throne. Then, he froze, everyone else, Trey, Cater, the few servants, the many armored guards in the room, they all were wide-eyed at what you had done. You had touched the queen when they were about to enter a fit of rage! You messed up–– Shit––

Riddle released a slow breath before placing his other hand atop your own. You felt such a massive flood of relief knowing you made the right move when he appeared much calmer as he nodded his head toward you, “Thank you, my dear. We shall discuss a proper punishment for that wretched feline later. For now…” Instantly his voice did a one-eighty as he turned his head toward the two imposing doors and shouted, “Bring him!!”

Nervously you looked over at Trey who stood tall and upright by Riddle’s side, and he remained oddly focused on the door. And that orange-haired guy, Cater, where did he go…?

“Hey…!”

Your eyes flittered over to you right where Cater was bent over a bit to whisper in your ear, while everyone else was distracted by the prisoner being escorted inside.

“I’m so happy that you’ve alive…! Don’t go dying on me so quickly, ‘kay? You wouldn’t leave me all alone here, would you?”

“Uh… no, of course not.” Huh. This Cater guy seemed pretty close to the king, or now you actually.

When you averted your eyes to the front, you listened to the clacking of armor as you watched more soldiers bring forward one of their own. Yet unlike all the others masked by metal, this soldier in shackles didn’t have a helmet. His messy red hair stuck out every which way, which made you wonder how on earth he even managed to fit that mess of hair under a helmet at all. His eyes were glued to the floor, and he wore a stiff frown as his shackles rattled with every step he took until he was right before the steps leading up to the red royal. When he refused to kneel, he was pushed down to his knees as Riddle eyed him with disdain.

Riddle wasted no time, because as soon as this prisoner was on his knees, he began his tirade of questions. “Ace Trappola, was it? We know you saw Ellis. Do you know where he is?”

The soldier’s head lolled forward a bit, his warm-colored eyes stopping on you for a moment as you gazed back at him. In a way, this Ace reminded you of… well, you. In shackles, forced to kneel, in front of a higher authority that was obviously not particularly fond of you, and likely with a sentence that could only mean your doom ahead of you. In a way, you did feel for him after hearing the basis of why he was arrested.

All was silent, only his shackles could be heard again as he slowly shrugged and snapped back, “I’d like to know that too! I mean, I’m sure wherever he is, he’s free as a bird. Meanwhile, me? Locked up for trying to do my job––!”

“Failing to do your only job.” Riddle corrected with a scoff. “I will ask you one more time. Where. Is. Ellis?”

Ace, still annoyed, continued. He must’ve been either stupid or brave for continuing. Although it might’ve been both as he mocked him. “Didn’t you hear me the first time? I. Don’t. Know.”

Under your hand you felt Riddle’s fingers dig into the armrest, his knuckles growing white as he raised his voice an octave, “What if I take off your head? Will you know then?”

“If you took my head, you wouldn’t get any answers after that.” He retorted with a slight eye roll.

Underneath your hand you could feel Roseheart’s anger growing the tighter he dug his nails into the chair. When you saw his face, you and everyone else could tell that he was fit to burst, no doubt ready to seal this soldier’s doom. Instantly you shot up from your throne, wanting to help save this prisoner. However, you very quickly began to regret it when all eyes darted over to your form, and you now became the center of attention. You couldn’t just sit back down, so with no other choice, you awkwardly cleared your throat and proceeded nervously, “My dearest, earlier when in our chambers I had an… um… epiphany! A vision! Y-Yes, I had a vision…! Ellis will slay your–– our, pet dragon jabberwocky.”

Instantly Riddle’s eyes widened. “He killed our jabberwocky?!”

“No…! No, at least not yet!”

Technically you weren’t lying. The story goes that the Red Queen had a powerful dragon, the jabberwocky, which was the main reason why she could keep such a grip on the kingdom with no rebellion ever coming close to dethroning her. At least, that is until Alice comes along and slays the jabberwocky. If you could somehow get rid of Alice, or Ellis in this case, and stay in Riddle Roseheart’s good graces, you would have it made! It was practically certain that the court back home thought you would’ve been beheaded already and your head would float in that river of blood for eternity. Yet here you were, alive, and if things went smoothly, you could live out your life in splendor here. Yes, you’d have to deal with the red royal, but if you could just stay in his good graces at all times, you would have a wonderfully lavish life! At this point you were just speeding things up, Ellis’ intentions of slaying the jabberwocky probably weren’t supposed to be revealed until much later. But, it would make a perfect excuse now.

As all eyes remained on you, you recounted your fake tale, “It all makes sense now…! In… In my vision I saw… A red-haired knight, um, clashing swords with a blonde man in blue and white!” Well, that part was a lie. There never was a red-haired knight in the stories. But this was an opportunity to potentially save Ace as well, and give him a chance to redeem himself in Riddle’s eyes. When you turned to face Ace, he was gazing at you with furrowed eyebrows, but you proceeded anyway as you gave your attention to Riddle now. “Riddle, I think–– I mean, I b-believe that knight is this one here in front of us.”

“Him?” The royal exclaimed in disbelief, looking at the soldier with something akin to disgust. To which the said soldier stuck out his tongue before a stern glare from Trey and Cater made Ace close his mouth. Riddle blinked, quiet for a moment before gazing up at you, his expression softening as he flipped over his hand so it held yours. “Is that what you were doing in our chambers alone? You were studying texts and had a vision, to save me?”

“Y…Yes…?”

His big gray eyes became fixated on you, as his voice became soft when he replied, “I’ve misjudged you, my dear… I believed you were being unfaithful, but you were working hard for me. How wrong I was.” The way he looked at you could only be described as adoringly.

It made you nervous, but you could only awkwardly smile in return. In order to ensure your own life of comfort here, you had to be sure to ruin the plot of the story. This meant that Ellis, the protagonist, could not win no matter what. Although it pained you to do such a thing, knowing that the outcome would most likely mean death by beheading him and his allies, you were more afraid of death than you were of the hero. For this, you would have to make sure the antagonist, Riddle Rosehearts in the role of the Red Queen, obtained a happy ending instead of a bad ending where he himself would be banished after being defeated by Ellis.

Clearing your throat, you hesitantly listed off the sequence of events in the way you recalled them playing out, “In my vision I saw… a blonde boy in blue, a purple feline beastmen, and a hatter, among other allies. Ellis will… will attempt to infiltrate the palace, and gain your favor under a disguise, and steal the ancient sword that can slay our Jabberwocky.” As all eyes and ears remained on you, you hesitated once again, mentally apologizing for what you were about to do. Maybe in the end, you might be able to plead with your supposed spouse to spare them. But deep down, you knew it was unlikely for the ruthless tyrant to even consider the idea. “Your Majesty, my darling, i-if I may make a suggestion…?”

Riddle nodded as he listened attentively, “Go on.”

Thankfully you had moved your hands away from his, and had them folded in your lap so he couldn’t feel the way your fingers trembled with anxiety. “I would like to suggest we allow this knight before us to carry the sword, sheathed and hidden at all times. Let this be his redemption–– um, please, if you allow it, your Majesty.” Said knight gazed up in surprise. “It would be best to keep sir Ace in our sights. So might I ask that he and another capable knight become my guards?” Guards. Smart move, especially if things get hairy later. “I-I’d also like to suggest an increase in your personal escorts too… my dear. So… so you’ll be safe. And, no one else besides those in this room, will know of what we spoke of today––”

“That way, Ellis will come here all on his own, and if he searches for the sword it will not be there.” Riddle finished, to which you nodded. He caught on quickly. “That’s brilliant!” You nearly breathed a sigh of relief as the red royal turned to glance at his two subordinates, Trey and Cater, only to gesture to the former prisoner and demand of them, “Unbind him, Trey. How can he wield a sword if his hands are bound?”

Trey slowly stepped forward as Ace was allowed to stand, and he unlocked the shackles around the knight. Ace continued to peer up at you, suddenly flashing a grateful smile. To which you only caught a glimpse of before being distracted by the redhead on the throne.

“Cater!” Cater stood upright immediately and awaited orders from the royal. “Find a suitable knight to escort my partner! I expect only the strongest and most obedient of knights! Am I understood?”

“You got it, Your Majesty! I already have a few in mind.”

“Wonderful. I will be interviewing them myself, as well as hand-picking my own escorts.” Riddle stood from his throne, tossing out more commands and orders to be followed by his remaining subordinate and the guards that had escorted the former prisoner. “You lot, I want an increase on the perimeter and another search crew to hunt down that wretched boy Ellis! Trey, go and fetch the sword. As for you, Ace Trappola,” Turning to face the knight, he warned, “You have one more chance. Should you fail a second time, there will be no do-overs. Your head will roll and your family shall pay the price for your mistakes.”

For a mere moment, disbelief and anger flashed on Ace’s face. Just as he opened his mouth, you spoke up, “T-Thank you, Your Majesty…! You really are so… merciful.” Better to be a pawn in this game than to be dead.

Riddle turned his attention to you before smiling, such a true and proud smile as he declared, “I have you to thank for this, for saving my kingdom and protecting me. Once we have Ellis and his companions captured, we will have a morning execution for him, with front row seats to the show." As his eyes drifted back to the onlookers, he commanded, "All of you shall speak nothing of what transpired in this room.”

A chorus of Yes, Your Majesty echoed in the chamber. The royal nodded, content for now, sending you one last smile before turning on his heels and walking off to elsewhere with Cater in tow. Leaving you alone with Trey and Ace as all other attendants and soldiers exited the throne room to go fulfill their duties.

Just for a moment, you wanted to talk to Ace alone. There was something about Trey, something about the way he watched you so calmly but there was something in those yellow eyes behind those glasses. Something that made it seem like he knew your secret, like he knew you were not really the king. You weren’t sure if it was your paranoia getting to you and your mind was just playing tricks on you, but you wanted to distance yourself as far away from him as possible. As the former prisoner made his way towards you, you cleared your throat and spoke quietly, but loud enough for Trey to hear. “Can–– M-May I have a word with you, sir Ace…? In private.”

“Sure, I’m free now.” He half joked, giving a bit of a grin which didn’t do much to ease your worries.

Trey stood beside the empty throne, watching as you glanced over at him and made a gesture for him to carry on with the assigned duty of retrieving the legendary sword, as dictated by His Majesty. To which he did, after he carefully observed the way you scurried behind velvet curtains with the knight not too far behind.

When you were finally out of sight with Ace, you noticed his raised eyebrow. Noticing this and the way he tapped his foot, you hesitated, unsure where you were even going with this or what you should do now. “You… You look like you have something to say.”

“Why’d you save me?” He demanded, all that cheerfulness from before gone now as things took a serious turn. Looking you up and down, he crossed his arms and continued, “You could’ve had your cute little hubby chop off my head like all the others before me. So, say it. That’s the reason you wanted to talk alone, isn’t it?”

He got you. Were you that obvious? You’d definitely have to work on being more discreet… Looking around twice to make sure no one was listening in, you huddled with him in a corner by the stained glass windows as you whispered hurriedly, in a panic, “O-Okay, whew, you’re gonna think I’m crazy, but… I’m not really the king, or queen, or whatever role I’m supposed to play here! Well, I guess I am now? Uhhh… h-here! It’s like this: I was put on trial in my homeworld, and as punishment I was banished. When I woke up, I was in Roseheart’s bed and he started talking to me like I was an unfaithful partner! I didn’t understand it, until I realized that it was all exactly like a story I read as a child. My punishment was to become the king that dies by being beheaded by his own wife! I… I got out of that somehow, and now, well…”

Ace was looking at you as if you were crazy, as if you had grown an extra head or something. His arms were crossed and he continued to stare at you. Should you have done that? Could you trust him? Well, he did owe you his life. If things really came down to it, you could have him arrested again and beheaded. Play the victim, call guards, and make up some lie that he attacked you, but you really really didn’t want it to go like that… Finally, after a few seconds, he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle, as if he couldn’t even believe it. “Hold on, let me get this straight: You’re not royalty, but you’re a criminal from another world? Did you hit your head or something?”

You knew it. He wouldn’t believe you after all.

“I mean, they keep saying this Ellis loser came from another world too… So… Maybe your story doesn’t sound too crazy after all.” His scarlet eyes focused on the floor, as if considering something. “You really weren’t lying about knowing the future. And I thought you had gone mad or something! So I’m a hero in the story?”

You could only scratch your arm nervously, a bit regretful for having to crush his sudden burst of excitement. “Ahaha… not exactly? I made that part up…”

Disappointed at the revelation that he wasn’t some badass hero wielding a legendary sword, he scoffed, “Seriously? So why save me then?”

“Look…” You took a deep breath, hiding your fidgeting fingers in your palm as best as you could. “We were both supposed to die. At least my character was mentioned in the story, but you? Y-You weren’t even mentioned at all…! You were just a nameless faceless soldier, someone not even worth mentioning––”

Offended, he snapped back, “Faceless? Rude much!”

You quickly shushed him, internally freaking out at the prospect that you may have been overheard. But when nothing else and no one else stirred, you frowned and muttered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just really nervous… I guess what I’m trying to get at here is… why don’t we both help each other survive?”

“What?” Shaking his head in disbelief. First this person called him someone not even worth mentioning then they ask for his help? Seriously, what was with them?

“T-Think about it…! I’m the second most powerful person in the entire kingdom…! I know what will happen! Kinda…”

“Well, I do want to live just as badly as you do…” It appeared he was still on the fence. Leaning his weight against the wall, he demanded, “But what do you mean you kinda know what will happen? I thought you, for sure, know.”

“Um…” Twiddling your fingers, you hesitantly explained the dilemma, “I did mention we were both supposed to die… And while that part isn’t a lie and the whole you being the destined one to stop Ellis was a lie, the other thing I didn’t lie about was Ellis gathering with his allies to infiltrate the palace and acquire the sword to kill the Jabberwocky. That will actually happen. S-So, since I told everyone that––”

“Let me guess, you told it early?”

Freezing, you gazed up at him and murmured, “H-How did you…?”

He shrugged, “I would’ve done the same thing if I were in your position. That means a higher chance of survival, right? Assuming that the blonde is the good guy and our king Rosehearts is the bad guy of the story. And considering all that, now you have no idea how the story will be affected, right?”

“R-Right…” Wait, now it just looked like you were useless! Immediately interjecting, you added, “But I can still make predictions based on what I know, like how things were originally supposed to play out…!”

“And you are still technically a royal…” Ace placed a finger to his chin, probably thinking about possible outcomes, upsides, and downsides if he agreed to work together. Finally, when his gaze flittered back to you and you stood upright, he questioned, “What if things don’t go how we–– you plan?”

You actually considered this briefly. If everything came crumbling down and all plans failed, there was but one last option to avoid any punishment. “Find Ellis and the White Queen… or is it the White King? I-It doesn’t matter…! The point is, the White Royal is very kind and merciful. If I go to them and explain that I am not really the Red King’s consort, then they’ll spare me…! If you come too and bring the sword to slay the Jabberwocky, that will assure them of our good intentions!”

“Isn’t that just running away? I don’t want to do that. And come on, the Whites? Are you for real? I thought us Reds were bad, but those pristine prissy little killjoys are no fun.”

For a second you wanted to strangle him. What kind of idiot would risk certain death by staying here if everything goes south, instead of fleeing to a good place that would grant you sanctuary? “It’s exactly running away, that’s the point…! The point is to stay alive!”

The redhead tilted his head to the side, his disappointed and serious behavior disappearing as he grinned. “What if I became king?”

Now it was your turn to look at him as if he were the insane one. Was this knight actually the mad hatter that had been driven insane by mercury poisoning?

“I do owe you one for saving my neck back there. And I won’t lie, I’ve dreamed about being king one day. And you, you’re actually way more ruthless than you seem at first. I thought you were a scared little wimp that always cowers behind their little hubby husband.” He mocked. Ouch. He thought you were a wimp…? “But turns out, I was so wrong about you. Sounds like you’re willing to do whatever it takes to live another day. Even turn on your own husband!”

He was whisper yelling, and it was starting to make you anxious that someone would overhear. So you whisper yelled back at a lower volume, “S-Stop that…! You know the truth, he’s not really my husband…”

That smirk made you think that he was going to respond in a louder voice, but thankfully he wasn’t that stupid. Just stupid enough to plan to overthrow the bloody Red King and talk about it in his own palace. But maybe you were stupid too, for talking about such delicate matters in the palace halls. Ace took your hands and performed a mock bow. “No running away, you got it? I’ll take that tiny red punk’s crown and become king, then I’ll keep you as a royal beside me, it’s the least I can do after what you did. We’ll both not only survive, but thrive. What do you say, Your Majesty~?”

#yandere #ace trappola #trey clover #cater diamond #riddle rosehearts #twisted wonderland #yandere twst #twst #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #twst writing #work in progress #damnation twst au

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oldinterneticons · 1 year

Note

You know any old nostalgic social medias that still exist? The only ones I've found so far are hi5 and Xat

Huh I didn't know hi5 was still around. Let me do some digging:

MySpace: still around (barely - looks like the front page hasn't been updated since early last year), but nothing like it was back in the day. Two clone sites that work and look the same was as old-school MySpace, SpaceHey and Friend Project exist.

LiveJournal is still up and some fan communities are still active there. It was bought by a Russian company years ago and there are some concerns about that, but it still works in the same way it used to. Still popular as a social site in Cyrillic-language countries. LJ's software was open source so there were a lot of clone sites of it. Dreamwidth is the main one in use, but DeadJournal and InsaneJournal are also still around.

Obviously DeviantArt is very much still popular for posting art, though looks very different than it used to.

Open Diary and Diaryland are still hanging in there! These ones were some of my favourites way back but not many seem to remember them, they were very early (pre-LJ, I think!) blog sites. Open Diary doesn't look nostalgic anymore but Diaryland does. I also know a lot of people from OD migrated to Prosebox, which is another neat little diary site (but looks quite modern).

Gaia Online still looks fairly active and the layout is largely stuck in the late 2000s!

ChickenSmoothie, a virtual pet site

Neopets is still going, though since so much of it was built on Flash lots of the old games etc are gone :(

Never used Quotev myself so idk how it used to be, but looks like now they are part quiz, part Wattpad-like site?

Honestly UQuiz is a nice little spiritual successor to Quizilla imo.

Still lots of old-school forums out there if you look for them, certainly not for as broad of a range of topics as there used to be but here are some directories to get started.

Looks like some country and language-specific sites that people mentioned in the notes like Skyrock, Metroflog (there's 3 of these if you Google??), Animexx and Kaskus are still active or trying to come back

MyYearbook became Meet Me

Vampire Freaks lives on as a store only

Bzoink, an old survey/quiz/forum site, is still around.

Of course, if you just want to look at old sites, the Internet Archive and Archiveteam's wiki are good places to start.

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gavisuntiedboot · 1 year

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Hey, I love your gavi fics. Could you do one where reader is very confident and flirty, always making him nervous with how straight forward she is. Loves to compliment him and kiss his hand. Maybe even him getting teased my his teammates about it.

sry this is extremely specific 😅

Forward (Gavi x reader)

This was such a cute request omg.

*************************************************

"Good morning Vogue Espana! I'm y/n, and this is Valeria, and today we'll be playing Vogue's 'Bestie Quiz'!"

You looked over at Valeria and gave her a wink, causing her to roll her eyes and laugh. The two of you made up 1/2 of Rumores, a Spanish pop group that rose to popularity through TikTok because of your relatable lyrics and how easily people could connect to the group members. You all had fun and bubbly personalities, still fimlimg vlog-style TikToks despite blowing up. Since you dropped your first album as a group, everyone was eager to get a piece of the next hot thing.

You had been contacted by an agency in Spain to get signed, and all moved into Barcelona within about a month. Since then, it had been borderline mayhem. Award shows, fashion shows, exclusive parties - the works. You were now at Vogue Espana headquarters, preparing for a group cover shoot. The editors had asked you and Valeria to pair up and make some video content, as you both had addictive personalities and bounced off each other really well. Long story short - any time you two filmed together, it got millions of views.

"Alright y/n lets start off with an easy one: what is my Starbucks order?"

You tried to cross your legs, almost falling over in the chair, causing the whole production crew to laugh.

"Ignore me almost dying. She's only asking me this question because she knows it really embarrasses me to my core to order this, especially here in Barcelona! It's a venti iced caramel macchiato, 9 pumps of caramel, extra caramel sauce on the top and bottom. Can you imagine having to say this out loud?"

The set was filled with laughter. They cut the take to get your makeup touched up, which was now melting off under the bright studio lights. You both continued to quiz each other, laughing and bantering playfully. You looked down at the cue cards with the questions, letting out a loud groan at the next question.

"Val this is rigged in your favor. How come I get all the hard questions and you get this? It's literally the easiest possible question?"

"Stop complaining because the producers think I'm cute and want life to be easy for me. Just ask the question."

"Okay okay: Who is my celebrity crush?"

"Oh wow you're right. That's so easy it's borderline cheating. Have you not seen her social media? Of course it's Pablo Gavi."

You leaned over the back of your chair dramatically, fanning your face.

"Ughhhhh Gavi! Have you ever seen a man so fine and so talented and so freaking delicious?"

Everyone in the studio had to hold back their laughter as so not have it be heard in the recording.

“She’s obsessed you guys I don’t even know how to explain.”

“I think obsessed is the wrong word.”

Valeria turned to you and gasped, getting up from her seat and running over to you, wrestling your phone from your hands. She pulled it free, walking up to the camera with it.

“Let me just make sure she has no inappropriate notifications. Not obsessed? Please look at her Lock Screen. It’s literally taking over her life.”

You hid your face in your hands as your screen lit up, revealing a picture of Gavi from the World Cup as your Lock Screen. The camera zoomed in on you, capturing your embarrassed reaction.

“Listen listen listen. I’ve been a Barça fan since forever. He’s fine and talented. How am I supposed to not fall in love with him?? I feel like that’s too much to ask for.”

Your crush on Gavi was not a secret by a long shot. It has been obvious to your audience since the World Cup qualifiers, when you posted a picture of him in the white uniform, captioning the photo “who is this and where can I find him 😍😍”. Your followers had come through, sending his handle in your DMs several thousand times. You followed him on Instagram and started fangirling in the comments of all his posts.

@uruser

“ Great job today Pablo 🥰”

“My favorite color is now pablo- I mean purple 🥵”

“The only heat in Qatar is gonna be you on the field 😘”

One day, as you did your makeup on a livestream, idly talking to your phone, you noticed the chat moving at a much faster pace than you were used to. You looked at the messages, trying to read something, but it moved so fast the letters blurred together.

"Wait wait how do I stop the chat I can't read you're all typing too quickly."

You figured out how to stop the comments flying by your face, reading the words "GAVI FOLLOWED YOU BACK".

You screamed at the top of your lungs. You started jumping in excitement, shaking the floor so much that your phone fell to the floor. Comments continued to fly in about how this was the beginning of your love story.

This was officially your in. Now that he followed you, you were able to swipe up on his Instagram stories. Every couple of days when Gavi would post, you would leave him flirty messages, never thinking he was going to respond.

"Amazing goal Gavi! You know you could score with me any day tho ;)"

This unfortunate cheesy message got a like. When you saw the small scarlet heart, you almost went into cardiac arrest. It was working. Slowly but surely you were getting him to recognize you.

Gavi hated pulling out his phone in the locker room. He would instantly hear wolf whistles and cheers from his teammates.

"Ay, Gavi, who are the messages from? The pop princess or the real princess?"

He would turn bright red, hiding his face in his shirt. He had seen your comments, and he didn't know who you were at first. He approached Pedri one day, asking him if he knew who you were.

"Gavi please be serious. You haven't heard of Rumores? They're opening for Rosalia this summer. They're super talented. And each member is hotter than the next."

"Wait," Balde chimed in, "who from Rumores is sending Gavi messages?"

"y/n"

Balde's eyes widened to the size of satellites. He grabbed the phone and started recording a voice message on the messages between you and Gavi.

"y/n my darling, this is Alejandro. Forget about this idiot Gavi and DM me your number. Let me appreciate you in a way that he cannot."

Gavi grabbed the phone back. The voice note had already sent, and you had opened the message. Shit. He was practically shaking, not knowing what to do.

"Ale! Why would you do that?" He asked, trying to look away from the three dots that indicated you were typing.

"Pablo you idiot. Do you know that she was number 5 in the "World's Hottest Women" ranking? She won best face AND best ass in Spain last year. If she wants a Barca player and you're fumbling, I am willing to step up." Gavi shoved him on the shoulder, eliciting a laugh from Pedri.

"Hermano, talk to her. She has made it more than clear that she likes you."

Gavi looked at his phone again, still confused as to what to say, when a new message popped up on the screen.

"Thanks for the offer Ale, but I'm still holding out hope that Gavi will message me back one of these days ;)"

He smiled and bit his lip, locking eyes with Pedri, who wiggled his eyebrows at Gavi suggestively. He hit the older boy on the shoulder, and they went out to his car. When they arrived at Pedri's, dragged Gavi onto the couch to show him clips of you talking about Gavi.

*y/n being in love with a spicy midfielder for 17 minutes*

"Pedri why do you have this video in your favorites?"

"Be quiet and watch."

The video started playing, and Gavi was stunned when you popped up on the screen. It was a clip of you at an award show, dresses in a gorgeous maroon two-piece that showed your midriff and lower stomach, as well as ornate stomach jewelry.

"y/n you look absolutely gorgeous this evening. We heard you were a Barcelona fan? Is this true? And if so, who is your favorite player?"

You smiled widely, causing Gavi's intestines to twist into pretzels.

"Of course I'm a Barca fan. All hot girls are Barca fans. My favorite player of all time is Messi, but on the current squad? Pablo Gavi. He's so talented and not to mention gorgeous."

Gavi brought a cushion to his chest and hugged it tightly. He was used to people calling him attractive in comments, but it was different seeing it live, hearing it from someone who the whole world thought was gorgeous. The next clip was a TikTok, in which you and Valeria danced in matching Gavi and Pedri jerseys.

"See Pablito, she already has your shirt for when she comes to the games to support you."

That comment earned Pedri a swift smack, which he was unable to dodge. Gavi continued to watch the rest of the video, borderline kicking his feet at how fuzzy he felt hearing that you thought he was hot and talented.

"Thanks for watching the Bestie Quiz! Make sure to like the video and subscribe to Vogue Espana. Bye!"

The camera switched off, and you and Valeria stepped off the chairs you were sat in. You immediately got onto Instagram live to pub the video.

"Hey everyone! We just got done filming for Vogue Espana's YouTube channel! Make sure to tune in when the video comes out. And... tomorrow we'll be touring a certain football stadium. Make sure you're following us here and on TikTok to stay up to date with all the latest from us!"

Gavi's jaw dropped. Of course he tuned into the live. He was eager to hear the sound of your voice, see your face lit up with joy. He had been thinking about you for weeks now, unable to say anything to you from embarrassment. He didn't know how to be charismatic and suave and the man that the internet portrayed him to be. He was a dork. He didn't know how talk to you. So when he heard that you were visiting a football camp, he texted the groupchat.

[Gavi]: Is that girl group coming to Camp Nou tomorrow?

[Pedri]: ah ah ah no one respond. Gavi, go ask your admirer. A good way to start a conversation.

[Ansu]: ^^^

[Alejandro]: retweet

He rolled his eyes. They were right. It was the perfect opportunity to reach out to you. But he was still nervous - what if he didn't live up to your expectations?

He typed out a simple message and hit send with his eyes closed.

@pablogavi - are you coming to el campo tomorrow?

"Valeria, remember how you told me that he would never talk to me because I was 'creepy' and a 'weirdo'? Well, eAT YOUR WORDS HE JUST MESSAGED ME!"

You flopped onto the couch, kicking your feet like a lovesick teenager.

@uruser - if I am, will you give me a special tour? xx

@pablogavi - i'll try

The next day you were positively giddy with joy. You were going to get a private tour of Camp Nou with your three closest friends. And you were going to be breathing the same air as Pablo Gavi. This was your chance to shoot your shot. You put on a black tank top and some light wash jeans that enhanced your award-winning ass. You turned on a livestream so people could watch you and Valeria do your makeup, playing Meg Thee Stallion as you got ready. You started dancing, twerking a little bit in the mirror.

"She's practicing for later when she sees Gavi."

You slap Valeria on the arm, the chat exploding at the idea. You ended the live shortly after, getting in your car to be driven over.

Gavi was a nervous wreck. He had changed his shoes three times, wondering which pair of Dunks would impress you the most. Gel or natural hair? Should he wear his classic long sleeve or just the jersey? Pedri's honking was disturbing the whole neighborhood. He ran downstairs (he picked the gray dunks), getting in Pedri's car as fast as possible.

"If Alejandro get to her first, you only have yourself to blame."

Gavi laughed lightly, but he felt like he was going to be sick.

You and the girls arrived to Camp Nou at 10am, eager to take a tour. You were greeted by several members of staff, including Sara, who worked the team's social media. She would be following you all throughout the day to get clips for the official Instagram and Twitter accounts. You walked into the office, greeted first by Xavi. You were all super excited to be in the presence of the coach and World Cup winner. He spoke with you about the history of the club, then lead you through the facilities to the locker room, where you would be meeting the players. Your group members walked in ahead of you as you grabbed a selfie with Xavi.

Gavi would never admit it, but he stood on his tiptoes to try and catch a glimpse of you. He was in jeans and a jersey, ditching the long sleeve since he wouldn't be hurting his arms (not because he saw a video of you saying that you were in love with his arms. That could never be the reason). You walk in and it was like someone had lit his veins on fire. He was so overwhelmed by your gentle laugh and your bright smile. Your eyes scanned the players and landed on Gavi, biting your lip and winking at him. He looked to the floor, hiding the satisfied look on his face from the cameras recording. You greeted all the players, and after getting past Ferran and Alejandro, you got to Gavi. He put one sweaty hand out for you to shake.

"Nice to finally meet you, Gavi. You're even better looking in person."

You shook his hand and pulled him in, giving him a kiss on each cheek. Typical for Spain, but not something you had done for the other players.

"I as well also think meeting you is good." Gavi stammered out, making absolutely no sense. You smiled at him, causing his heart to race faster. Your hand lingered on his for a moment before you moved on to Pedri.

"You're going to make a really bad impression on Xavi if you break our young talent in the middle of the season." He said to you, causing you to pull away and laugh, pretending you didn't have the faintest idea what he was talking about. At the end of the greetings, the team members pulled out the shirts that had been prepared for all of you. Sara pulled out yours and handed it to Gavi, knowing keeping you together would produce the best trending content. Fan service pays the bills. He unfolded the shirt and saw your name at the top, and under...

"Number 6?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow at you. You looked at him from your seat, patting the spot next to you. He reluctantly sat down, and held up the shirt for the photo. You placed your hand over his for the photo, and he felt like he was 12 again experiencing his first crush. When the photographers looked down to make sure the shot was clear, you leaned into Gavi's ear.

"I wanted to wear your new number. I hope it can bring you some good luck."

"You... you want me to have g-good luck?"

"Of course Pablo. When you do well you're happier, and then I'm happier."

Gavi was going to explode. What kind of woman were you? Who was this forward about their feelings? He took a deep breath and composed himself. The girls were all taking sneaky pictures, wanting to capture the moment that you and Gavi first fell in love (because they knew that you would never let him out of your sights now). His teammates were snickering, in awe of how the firecracker that they had come to love was now a pile of mush, blushing like a schoolgirl and stuttering over his words.

"Alright, we're going to film some challenges in pairs now. The rest of the team will get their pairs. Gavi and y/n, you're going to come film with me." Sara said, walking quickly outside the locker room, expecting you both to follow. Gavi got up quickly and gestured towards the door.

"Um, after you."

"Wow, you're such a gentleman." You said, giving him a gentle squeeze on the bicep before you followed Sara. What was he supposed to do now?

You walked outside into the stands and both took your seats, handed personal mics to attach to your shirts. You clipped yours on in about a minute, having done this numerous times for different shoots. Gavi, on the other hand, was struggling slightly.

"Do you want some help, Gavi? Of course that would require me to touch your chest."

He looked up at you, wire still tangled. "You're going to touch my chest?"

"Only if you want me to gorgeous." You replied with a wink. He didn't trust himself to make words, so he nodded instead. You gently grabbed the wire, threading it through his shirt, fingers lightly brushing against the toned muscle of his chest. You clipped it at the top, smoothing his shirt when you were finished.

"All done. Now we need to test them out with a sentence to make sure the staff can hear. I'll go first. Test sentence: Gavi is adorable and I'm going to ask him out before I leave today."

"You're going to do what?!" He said, eyes widened, sweat glands activated.

"It's just a gibberish test sentence. Your turn."

"Um, hello?"

"It needs to be longer than that." You said, getting comfortable in your seat.

"I don't know what to say." He said, smiling shyly and looking down.

"Try whatever comes to your mind Gavi. Literally anything."

"Okay. Ehem test sentence: I'm really nervous around y/n so I hope I don't make a fool of myself in this video."

Your cheeks heated up but you looked away, trying to play it cool. You loved that you were making him a little bit flustered, but he was gaining some confidence to respond. The camera crew stated that you were rolling, and you looked at the camera.

"Hello everyone! I'm y/n and I'm here today with Gavi, and we're going to be playing Barca's 7-second challenge!"

"Ah, my brain is too slow for this game." Gavi said, tossing is head back. The staff handed you the envelopes, and you began.

"Alright I'm going to be asking first. Name three Barca players that contributed to a goal against Real Madrid."

"Ah easy. Leo Messi, Luis Suarez, and me." He said, winking at the camera.

"Good job. You would have been my first answer." You responded. Your rizz game was insane today. You wanted to make an impression- who knows if you would ever have a chance again?

It was Gavi's turn. He opened the envelope and read the question.

"Ah this is too easy. Who are 3 Barca players that have worn the number 6?"

You smirked at the camera. "Super easy. Denis Suarez, Xavi, and the best looking in number 6, Gavi." You said, winking at him. He smiled widely, turning away from you.

"Ah lalala don't let Mister Xavi hear you say that."

After you finished filming the game, the sun had moved from the middle of the sky, making the field more pleasant. The staff informed you that the final piece of content you would be filming would be Gavi showing you how to play football. Gavi was excited. Finally something he could excel at (and maybe embarrass you for once). You both got onto the field, and you laced up the football boots you had been given by the staff. From your position on the ground you looked up.

"Should I keep one untied so I can play as well as you?"

"I- I think you should keep them tied. I'm used to falling, but I don't want you to get injured."

"Awe how cute Pablo you don't want me to break my face." You said, getting up from your spot on the ground and pinching his cheek. It was quite warm to the touch.

Once the cameras were rolling, he taught you some basics, and then he decided to show off. He started playing keep-up with the ball, moving from hit feet to his thighs to his head and shoulders. He passes the ball to you, and you tried to receive with your chest, forgetting about the extra tissue there. You bent over in pain and he came up to you, checking on you.

"Don't worry I'm fine. But if you ask nicely I'll let you kiss it better." He stood frozen with his hands on your shoulders.

"I, I, I- do you want to do something else?"

"No no, it's hot watching you play."

Gavi was at his end. He was embarrassed beyond belief. He could not believe how forward you were, and he could not believe how much he liked it. He felt special - wanted. He brought you to the front of the box, deciding to end the day by teaching you to shoot a penalty. He helped position you, and you two spent the next ten minutes making shots at the goal and joking with one another. At the end, the crew came and collected your mics, and you waiting for the other girls and players to join you.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Here, can you sign my jersey?"

You handed him the pen, turning around and lifting your hair out of the way. He bent over slightly, uncapping the pen with his teeth.

"Who should I make it out to?" He asked.

"Make it out to your future wife. Or future long-term girlfriend if you don't believe in the institution of marriage." You felt the pen meet your back, smiling to yourself.

"I have never met a girl that was as forward as you. It's a little intimidating."

You turn to him, taking your pen and sticking it into your back pocket.

"I know I've said this a million times on every platform, but I think you're cute and interesting. I'm not going to be shy about that. If I make you uncomfortable though I'll stop."

"No no. That wasn't a complaint, but I was wondering...."

"Yes, dear husband?"

"Were you serious about asking me out?"

"My God Gavi. I have made it so painfully obvious that I'm had over heels for you. I have to ask you out as well?"

"You make me shy! I can't even begin to think of where I could take you on a date. I'm just going to let you stay in the driver's seat and I'll keep being a little stupid."

"What're you going to do when I come to one of your matches? Blush and giggle in midfield?"

"You're going to come to a match? The we have to go out before then. Let me get the awkwardness out over dinner so when I'm on the field, you'll be the one blushing and swooning."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N: this is so long omg :') thank you so much to whoever requested this. It was really fun to write a super confident character. I hope this is what anon was looking for, and I'm so sorry if not. I hope y'all enjoy this one, and please leave any feedback in the comments/ send them in my asks!

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