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yanderenightmare · 6 months

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I have an honest question and I don't want to sound rude or anything at all but what's so interesting about CNC. Like I see people hype it up but to me it just feels like romanticizing r4pe..I'm not really into CNC so I can't talk bad or downplay whatever they do but I'm just asking because I want to understand it better.

A question I, by no means, can answer perfectly. However, in the spirit of philosophy and amateur psychology, I will lay unto you, ye who have keen ears, my theories.

Now, I am in no way a psychiatrist. However, as I am a woman who does a great deal of fantasizing and further thinking of what I fantasize about, I thought I might assume the role of a sexologist as it is no protected title.

I’ve long wondered why we (women) fantasize about things that would appall us if manifested in reality. It makes little sense that an act so ruining in practice should make us feel fulfilled when the mere thought of it is humored.

In the vast complexities of psychology, no matter how much I drink of its depths, I can’t seem to get my fill enough to understand it. Trying to figure out female arousal is like pulling hair from a clogged gutter and trying to undo all the knots. It’s a web of contradictions.

However…

First theory – there are cultural reasons. If we accept the inbuilt instincts of old and the instincts we adopt through media while growing up – all in all, the great history of aggressive men dominating passive women – we are conditioned to accept that this is what romance looks like.

Second theory – there are the emotional reasons. The "Beauty and the Beast" motif – featuring classic co-dependency. Women submit to abuse because we have an inbuilt need to nurture others – so when we love men who require to abuse and own us in order to love us, we somehow forget to protect ourselves in favor of loving them, which in this case means allowing them to abuse and own us. It's warped.

Third theory – there are psychological reasons. In fantasies and writing or viewing, we get to reframe traumatic experiences in a positive light or rework traumatic experiences in a safe environment – a form of psychological self-defense, much like Stockholm Syndrome or a type of self-inflicted Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Fourth theory – research has also been conducted regarding physiological reasons. Here, we have another inbuilt self-defense mechanism – a seldom talked-about phenomenon – which shows that women tend to become physically aroused when they sense any possibility of sexual aggression in their environment – in order to lower their chance of injury if they are raped.

Through all this, I believe one can narrow fantasies of rough or non-consensual sex into something as paradoxical and polar as having a wish for control and a wish to relent oneself of it. And coming to this conclusion, I realized that such is the pursuit of many, even in endeavors not of the erotic kind.

Humans wish to have control just as much as humans disdain having control. This is why BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism) kinks and fetishes are found in some shape or form in nearly every romantic or sexual relationship in existence. You’ll have the dominant partner wishing to achieve control over a submissive partner wishing to relinquish control through such means of domination, humiliation, pain, and pleasure.

But it’s more complex than that, isn’t it?

Yes. Because, contradictory – a submissive partner may wish for control, and a dominant partner may wish to lose it. Human beings are an unyielding paradox where we flex across contrasting aims with no means to an end.

Yes, we wish for control, yet disdain having it. Perhaps we find the answer to this paradox in maintaining control by losing it?

Moreover… how does this relate to nonconsensual sex fantasies?

Here, we get a fifth theory containing the ego – a spin-off of a kind from the third theory. Here we find the wish for control, where, in the lustful fantasy realm, non-consensual sex bolsters a woman's feelings of seductiveness and desirability in the way it has the power to make a man lose his decency and self-control, driving him to commit crimes of passion despite ill consequences of losing his pride and honor as a man – also, ultimately, risking getting sent to prison.

Put simply, some women enjoy the idea of being irresistible enough to drive even a good man crazy. The thought of being attractive enough to make a man love-sick and the power and control that follows it is, in this case, a turn-on.

A sixth theory – another spin-off from the third theory – is that fantasies of rape allow women to reduce the distress associated with sex, as they are not, in this scenario, responsible for what occurs. Moreover, the logic here states that when one is forced into something, they’ll have a lesser need to feel guilt or shame about acting out their own sexual desires.

Put simply, some women wish to maintain their innocence despite having carnal desires only satiated by means of sinful acts.

This begs another question.

Is this a lingering feeling of guilt and shame around female sexuality?

Of course! Women are constantly met with disdain when open about their sluttiness.

So, are fantasies of nonconsensual sex a type of projection they do because of this?

In some cases, yes!

Transferring our own sexual desires unto another gives us permission to act them out without feeling guilty or dirty – because, inside this fantasy, it isn’t us committing the indecencies.

... Okay then...

Summing up theories five and six:

Control. To feel wanted, lusted for, obsessed over, and coveted by others. The power of driving someone to lovesick desire, a frenzied state, where they would do anything, even illegal, to have you. Additionally, despite such harsh cases of ego, wanting none of the responsibility for it, wanting to be free of sin, to maintain innocence and purity in light of such dark desires.

Or is there a seventh theory? One found in our idyllic construct of freedom – this aimless goal of ours to make ourselves appreciate breathing – done by balancing the electric powerline between having and losing control.

Is it this act of switching places, the attraction and pull, the stimuli and response, the attack and retaliation? In the chaos of contradictions and uncertainty, we find a thrill that occupies our otherwise hibernating minds – bored to the degree that we become machines in our daily programs.

Is it simply that we need a little extremity as a remedy for our dull lives?

Do we fall in love with illegal things simply because we are denied them? Simply because they’re illegal? Self-harm, drug use, gambling, murder, rape…

Are these things a part of us? And are we, without them, left feeling unfulfilled? Is The Purge perhaps onto something vitally important? A cure for boredom, this mediocrity that leaves us feeling so blue?

I think, if I were to find a comparison, it’s quite similar to the blind bounds of excitement others ascend to in the midst of playing violent video games. The rush of falling in and out of enemy territory, of danger and safety, from being a predator to becoming the prey, of victory and defeat, of chasing death only to be comforted by one’s remaining life – because in reality, you're safe and sound in front of a screen.

Also, in other cases - rollercoasters, horror movies, extreme sports, etc...

Yes, the wish to trip in and out of control isn’t limited to the realm of lust but is present in most aspects of life. We find it in extreme cases such as drugs, gambling, gaming, relationships, and in other subtle cases of professions and work.

If you don’t like it, that’s your business, and I wish you the best of luck in lust elsewhere.

On another note – and such another warning and disclaimer – I want you not to accept my tales of lust as love stories. Personally, I think hints of toxic displays such as jealousy, obsession, and possession in a partner are natural – but – a difference is made when such feelings become restricting to a degree you no longer feel free. I implore you to make such distinctions for yourself when regarding yourself – and, in extreme cases, when regarding others.

In said regard, I do not condone the events nor the actions of the characters in my stories – neither offender nor victim. Don’t allow yourself to fall prey to toxic partners! The signs are always there – keep a weathered eye out for them.

And no, I’m not blaming those who’ve allowed themselves to stay in toxic relationships. I, myself, am guilty of that. But I won’t excuse my poor judgment either. You know when something doesn’t feel right. We shouldn’t blur the lines of right and wrong in the name of love – or whatever else we may lend our self-control to – such as religion, culture, family, societal pressure, etc...

You are in control. Don’t forget it. And don’t allow anything else to become the case.

#nightmare rambles #discussion

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tavyliasin · 5 months

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Baldur's Date Open Creative Challenge!

Artists, Writers, Creators of All Kinds!

You are cordially invited to join a creative challenge!

You must be 18 years old or over to join, but there will be 2 categories, one for SFW works and one for NSFW works!

Accepted Submission Types

Please note all works must be your own and not made using any AI, including AI RP bots for writing.

Art

Comics

Valentine's Card

Fiction

Drabble collection (series of short fic, 1-5 paragraphs each)

Poetry

Song lyrics

Full songs/music

Podfic (With agreement from the fic writer)

Cosplay (No Nudes/NSFW/Explicit please)

Other Crafts (Puppets, embroidery, paper figure cut outs - whatever you like!)

For the Rules and More Details, please see below! Credit to Morb for the new event banner!

Welcome to the Baldur's Date Challenge!

Please be aware this event will include spoilers to characters, storylines, and endings, as well as NSFW content. Proceed with care!

The idea is to create something themed around a Date or Valentine Event. It doesn't even have to be romantic or positive, there are lots of ways to take this from Valentine's Cards from characters to slow burn romance to fully brutal heartbreak and violence. The choices are yours!

The Rules

By participating, even in the SFW version, you agree and confirm you are 18 years old or over.

All creators retain full rights to their works, subject only to the conditions of the platforms they share them on (ie, AO3)

Submissions must contain at least one named character from Baldur's Gate 3

Submissions must also be based around a date, valentine-type event, or similar

AUs, non-canon, alternate versions of characters are all WELCOME

You may choose your own prompt, or use the quiz to help you decide!

Poly Romance Welcome

Characters only, no actors or real people, other than using "Reader Insert" with 2nd person writing styles.

All works must be tagged appropriately for any CWs (please ask TavyliaSin for a list if required)

All characters must be 18 or over in the game as well as in the work you create

No characters in romantic relationships are to be related to each other.

Trans and gender-swapped characters are welcomed, unless it is only for the explicit purpose of making a canon homosexual couple into a heterosexual couple (eg, making Aylin a man so that the relationship with Isobel is straight)

Deadline is 10th Feb to allow for time to check entries

Collections will go live just before midnight on 13th Feb so they are ready to be viewed on Valentine's Day

If you would like to help with the event running, please contact TavyliaSin on Twitter, Discord, or anywhere else you can hunt her down~

Dead Dove and controversial topics, kinks, and characters are allowed but must be properly tagged to give people a choice of what they engage with. This also means there is to be no shaming - Tavylia would like to support all creative works even ones she isn't personally fond of or would avoid.

How Do I Join?

You can either send your submissions directly to the AO3 Collections, or if you don't have AO3 you can wait until 14th Feb and reblog/retweet the posts I'll make for the collections on the day to add your contributions. It's open to EVERYONE who is 18+! Join in, give it a try! Submissions on AO3 close on 10th Feb 2024 (just before midnight GMT/UTC 0) so please try to get things in on time to be on AO3 so we have a few days to accept and check submissions. The collections will go live on 14th February for Valentine's just around midnight UTC0/GMT

Select "Post to Collection" to add your work! All works will be hidden until the collection releases on 14th.

Are there any Prompts?

Yes! Aside from the general theme there are prompts for art and writing (and anything else) on the following google form. You can roll dice to decide for you as each question has numbered answers and instructions on the dice to use! But you don't have to stick to the result you get - choose what you like. You don't even have to roll dice at all if you don't want to, just take a look at the selection for some ideas and choose what's interesting in it.

You can enter as many pieces as you like, so please use this to have fun and enjoy yourselves~

If you have any questions please drop them in comments, or contact me anywhere you can find me~

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #fanfic #fanart #creative challenge #AO3 collection #open challenge #open collection #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #baldurs gate fanart #valentine challenge #valentines day collection #valentines day creative challenge #baldur's date #come and join in!#this post will be reblogged once or twice a week til the end date as a reminder~

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sanguinesky-if · 5 months

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Additional info [Q&A format] [Updated: 02.06.2024]

Q: Will there be a polyamorous/triangle route?

A: No.

Q: Are there any restrictions and requirements for a particular RO?

A: No, all the ROs are player-sexual and do not require you to make the "right" choices to develop a relationship. Some of the ROs won't be nice to your character, and I want the player to be able to respond in kind if they feel that way, while not blocking the RO's route because of that. Don't be afraid to be bad. Some characters deserve it.

Q: Does the main character have a set personality?

A: No, your character's personality will be determined by your choices with stats. Other characters will pay attention to and comment on your personality.

Q: Are there other things in the story that are predetermined in advance?

A: The first is your position as a detective. The second is your relationship with your sister. You will be able to change it later if you want to.

Q: What about the stats?

A: All stats in the game serve to change the narrative according to the decisions you make in the story. There is no "failure" mechanic in the story, and there never will be. There are no relationship stats for the ROs in the game, instead, each of them has romance and approval (friendship for L) points.

Q: How does the approval system work?

A: The approval system serves as an indicator of how closely your MC's personality and decisions align with the personality of the RO. Having a negative value doesn't imply it's bad. Example: At high approval, T: "The detective is so funny, and it's so sexy that I find it hard to control myself around them…" With low or negative approval, T: "The detective is so uptight… I have a method or two to help them relieve the tension." As you can see, both options are different, but neither one is bad. Not all of the ROs are strongly dependent on approval and not every interaction will be built on such a system, but sometimes some parts will change because of it.

Q: Is there homophobia in the world in which the story takes place?

A: No.

Q: Is this going to be a series or a standalone book?

A: The story is planned as a standalone book, but I'm open to the idea of "splitting" the story if it starts to feel too big for one book.

Q: I sent a question but didn't receive an answer. Why?

A: I may not have answered your question because: ▪ I still have unanswered questions before yours. ▪ The question wasn't relevant to my IF. ▪ I'm not sure how to answer it. ▪ I'm not comfortable answering it. ▪ The question was about future plot points. ▪ The answer to your question is already posted in the Q&A. I may take longer than usual to answer questions about the ROs reactions, as they take me much more time to respond than other messages. Thank you for your understanding!

Q: Which messages are definitely not going to be answered?

A: I won't answer questions that [in my opinion] may lead to non-story related or other controversial discussions. I just want to write my story, and I have no time or desire to prove anything to anyone. Please just enjoy the story and the romance.

This post will be updated occasionally. Latest update: 02 June 2024

#asks #if #interactive fiction #if game #if wip #dashingdon #choicescript #sanguine sky #sanguine sky if #ss general #ss about

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illegiblewords · 6 months

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SOME ILLEGIBLE RAMBLES AND REFLECTIONS: ON GALE AND MYSTRA

I've been on the fence about whether to make this analysis specifically, but after seeing a few other discussions floating around figure it's worth offering another viewpoint in case it resonates.

These analyses in particular are very subjective and offer an interpretive option more than anything. I might allude to discussions I've seen elsewhere that I have different views from, but different views don't automatically mean personal dislike for me. Life would be boring if we all thought the same way, you know? Anyway. Hugeass post ahead, proceed at your own risk lol.

One of the arguments I've seen cropping up recently is the idea that romance between gods and mortals is inherently unequal, abusive, and problematic. I am very much of the mind that Mystra abused Gale. The developers at Larian have stated that every companion in Baldur's Gate 3 is a victim of abuse in some capacity. Some of my favorite romances over the years have been between gods and mortals. Mystra/Gale is not one of those. I think blaming the divine/mortal dynamic for any abuse misses the point. Moreover, it absolves Mystra of a huge amount of personal responsibility in the abuse she committed. I think it makes the abuse focus on what she is rather than who she is, how she looks at others, and how she treats others. I reflected on the divine/mortal pairings I've enjoyed compared to the dynamic between Gale and Mystra. In every divine/mortal romance I've loved, the god found wonder and saw a kind of power they lack in their mortal partner. This power stems directly from their mortality. There are experiences and perspectives specific to being mortal that are invaluable. The god doesn't relate to those experiences and perspectives the same way. The god always needs not only humility but equal respect for their mortal partner in some capacity. Additionally, the god acknowledges that being divine does not equate to omniscience. This is not a god according to the monotheistic definition. It's closer to an immortal being who excels in a very specific area and has certain responsibilities weighing on them. The god sees the forest but may no longer see trees, while the mortal sees trees but may not see the forest. There is value in what is ephemeral and fragile, just as there is value in what is permanent. The god and mortal need to bring balance to one another in the sense that the god helps the mortal find comfort in a bigger picture while the mortal reminds the god what it feels like to be small, vulnerable, and intimately connected to the world/other lives. A healthy divine/mortal romance requires recognition of multiple forms of strength, intelligence, and value. That very, very much is not what Gale and Mystra had. Another layer to the 'divine/mortal romance is always problematic' argument ties to questions of power imbalance. I would argue that even among human beings--power imbalance always exists. Human beings are not identical or interchangeable with one another. One partner might be brilliant at math and runs finances where the other partner would be lost. The other partner might be brilliant at people and can navigate social situations the mathematician would feel helpless in. One partner may be physically larger or stronger than another. The other partner has the full weight of social/legal support in most conflicts. And this isn't touching on issues relating to mental health, physical health, economic stability, societal issues, etc. People are multifaceted. None of us excel at all things, find power in all things, or suffer all things. We each have our own pains and triumphs. We each have the ability to hurt each other if we want to. If we wanted to avoid any power imbalance in favor of 1:1 equality, the only answer we'd have would be to literally romance ourselves . And that's 1) narcissism 2) lonely 3) sad. Just ask Raphael.

But unhealthy power imbalances must exist, right? And there is a horrible power imbalance between Gale and Mystra. I would just argue it has more to do with them personally than because of Mystra being a goddess. I'd argue that we should be looking at Gale and Mystra not as mortal and god or man and woman, but as people above all else with their own experiences/motives driving choices throughout the relationship. Examine the ways they look at and treat each other versus themselves. If Mystra was the mortal and Gale was the god, if Mystra was a man and Gale was a woman, I would not change my stance regarding where abuse was committed. Imo people get too caught up trying to make sweeping generalizations instead of focusing on the individuals and how they specifically interact. This in-mind, what are some examples of unhealthy power imbalance as I define it?

A character is physically and/or mentally incapable of participating with proper awareness of the situation, as a partner with equal respect and sway within the relationship.

A character is dependent upon the prospective partner for survival and cannot refuse them without fear of retribution or withholding necessities to survival.

A character is being systematically isolated and made dependent on their partner for all socialization and self-worth.

And so on. Hopefully you get the gist. What I do want to draw attention to though is that these examples offer room to include a variety of circumstances or dynamics within their umbrella. Ex. An underage character with an adult would easily qualify for the first criteria, but an extremely, non-functioningly drunk character would also count. So lets have a look at Gale and Mystra's situation in particular again.

Gale has, by his own admission, been involved with the Weave for as long as he can remember. He sees Mystra as synonymous with the Weave, and with magic. These are things he explicitly states within the game. Gale also has notable reactions to say, saving Arabella from being killed over the idol of Silvanus or Mirkon from harpies. With Arabella especially, the idea of being treated as unforgivable or deserving death for a youthful mistake is something he talks about as if he has some experience with it. And while this is a video game with limited character models, I'm going to estimate that the tiefling kids are probably somewhere between nine and thirteen. We know Gale has been stuck largely alone in his tower with the orb for a year or so. The orb specifically is something that happened when he was an adult, but the way he talks about Arabella with implicit personal identification of facing older authority figures as a young person who didn't know better... I don't think this is the orb alone troubling him. Minsc also has a dialogue option where he talks about how in Rashemen, boys with an affinity for the Weave were hidden away and he suspects it was to keep them from being preyed on by Mystra. Not men, boys. I've seen people try to argue that Mystra would have been indisposed/dead and unable to take advantage of Gale when he was a kid due to the broader Forgotten Realms timeline. I'm inclined to say in this instance, with all evidence in the narrative pointing to a particular arc and theme for Gale and Mystra's relationship, it's more likely that the timeline was something Larian chose to fudge in the interest of storytelling opportunities. The alternative would be that none of those dialogue exchanges meant anything. The narrative is weakened if those moments are made meaningless, and the characters become flatter and less credible without them too. If it comes between trivia and the emotional core of a story, I'd argue the core wins. Gale claims to have slept with other people before Mystra, but that a romanced character is the first person he's slept with after her. I personally suspect it wasn't a lot of prior experience, and he was pretty young when his romance with Mystra began. Additionally, while it's pure conjecture on my part--given how Gale reacts to the tiefling kids it would make sense to me if Mystra started grooming him when he was between nine and thirteen years old. Other people have shared analysis pointing to evidence that Gale unknowingly dual-classed and was a storm sorcerer originally, but was told he was purely a wizard and then had all of his sorcerous abilities eaten by the orb without ever knowing they existed. I do think it makes sense for Mystra to influence Gale as a potentially very powerful sorcerer this way to 1) get him to self-limit through wizard spells so he's easier to predict and control 2) be completely dependent on and devoted to her, starting as early as possible. (For the curious, sorcerer Gale theory is here and here. Very well-done imo!) In any case, Mystra absolutely has personal motive to do what she did, that has nothing to do with Gale personally. That it turned into grooming for a sexual relationship isn't a huge leap in light of her apparent mindset either. But lets take a moment to review that.

This is a really good recap setting up Mystra's situation. Karsus too, by the by. This second video here helps explain Mystra's own situation. My understanding is like this:

Mystryl was the original goddess of magic. Mystryl was a born-goddess rather than an ascended mortal goddess, which is important to note because both exist in the Forgotten Realms. Mystryl was neutral alignment. The Weave, magic, and those casting magic all tied into her divine portfolio. Divine portfolios reflect deities' jurisdictions and callings, which empowers them through use in the world as well as mortal worship. With all this in-mind, naturally it benefited Mystryl to encourage experimentation, devotion, and arcane ambition. The more spellcasters pushed the limits of magic, the more powerful Mystryl became too. This was when the Empire of Netheril came about, with its floating cities and its magocracies. Worth noting, eleventh level spells were being used at this point in time. Cue a bunch of aberrations showing up, called phaerimm. Cosmic horror monstrosities that sort of looked like if you combined grubs and lampreys then made them way too big. On the one hand they were ridiculously powerful natural spellcasters themselves. On the other, they could straight up detect, deflect, and eat magic at will. Incidentally they were also extremely hostile to other life forms. So them existing at the same time as Netheril caused some massive problems. The wizard empire was at war, struggling, and panicking. Karsus was a prodigy and the one most people were turning to for protection at the time. Karsus decided the best way to solve the problem was to become a god himself using the first and only twelfth level spell (of his own design) then get rid of the phaerimm that way. The spell specifically required the caster to replace a god of their choice. Karsus, being a wizard, thought Mystryl was the strongest divine force of all time and chose her. The first video explained very well, but it basically sounds like as a born-goddess--maintaining the Weave was essentially an autonomic process for Mystryl. Basically required as much thought as beating your own heart. It wasn't like that for Karsus. Karsus might have been the best wizard in the sense that someone might be the best marathon runner of all time, but if you take that marathon runner and then tell them they have to pump their heart manually from now on they're not just going to lose any future races they attempt--they might just die on the spot. Which is kind of what happened to Karsus. Karsus became a god of ambition along with magic, then lost his divinity to become a Great Old One instead. These days he's a stone stained in the gore of his dead people who speaks in fountains of blood. (One of the reasons I'm not enabling Gale in his quest to become god of magic, by-the-by.) Mystryl died because of Karsus's spell. Mystryl probably hadn't considered mortals, let alone the wizards who gave her so much power as a goddess, a threat to her personally before. An incarnation of Mystra (not Gale's Mystra) was born from the ashes of Mystryl to become the new goddess of magic. One of the first things Mystra does after basically reincarnating from Mystryl is ban mortals from using magic at level ten or higher. Mystra is now aware that mortals can challenge the gods and straight up kill her personally. She still needs casters using magic at high level to empower herself as a goddess, but it's a double-edged sword that can absolutely kill her. And to make matters worse... this Mystra also gets killed later. The Mystra we have now was a mortal woman (Midnight) who kept Mystra's name to avoid confusing worshippers, who'd been chosen by Mystra previously and ascended into that role. Midnight-Mystra, from the sound of it, also got killed for a bit and had to get saved by Elminster.

Like I said before, I do think there were some timeline blips going on for Mystra with Baldur's Gate 3. As long as she's died and reincarnated twice, her psychological state is cemented. How long it took her to come back and whether there were even more deaths than that is less important. I'd argue the key ideas we're supposed to take away about Mystra from this are that she is a goddess who 1) at this point is an ascended mortal who may have certain inherited memories or experiences from born-deities 2) is hyper aware that mortals can kill her 3) has been killed and reborn multiple times, not just by mortals but the very wizards she draws power from.

This is absolutely a shitty situation. It makes sense Mystra has complexes around it. It makes sense Midnight-Mystra would feel especially afraid when it comes to wizards seeing as she herself is a former mortal, so her position likely feels even more tenuous. The way she interacts with wizards and relates to her own position as a goddess is not as someone secure in her own power, but someone who sees anyone coming close to her level as a direct threat to her life. She needs casters to be strong to fuel her portfolio, but if they're too strong they can challenge her. So she is using whatever tools at her disposal to keep them beneath her while maintaining her own strength. It's also worth remembering that Mystra has no pretense of being good-alignment. Her motive in confronting the Netherbrain wasn't to protect Toril from mindflayers, but to protect herself personally from the Crown of Karsus and protect the Weave from the Karsic Weave. If magic as a force is in danger (as per the Karsic Weave) she might try to do something, but what befalls mortals is irrelevant to her. I'd argue she's 1000% acting out of self-interest for Baldur's Gate 3. And again--it makes sense given her position. It makes sense given the track record for gods in the Forgotten Realms.

So, if we go with the in-game implications that Mystra is supposed to have been active across Gale's life and was active when Minsc was running around a century ago (referenced in his comments about Rashemen protecting boys from Mystra)... what kind of relationship has Mystra built with wizards in particular? This is heavy speculation here but I'm going off of Gale's experience, Elminster's behavior, a point of notable cattiness from Lorroakan, and Mystra's motives.

I think Mystra encourages wizards to compete for her favor, both through their arcane power and on a personal level. She encompasses their entire world and dictates everything they are capable of by holding the Weave in her portfolio. Casters are nothing without her. She is fickle in her attentions, moving between wizard paramours and chosen so they constantly feel the need to prove themselves worthy of her love. As their goddess, they have no room to question her or ask for loyalty born of personal affection. Mystra does not care. She is inherently more than they are and ever will be, and unless they have something to woo her through her portfolio specifically there is no reason for her to stick around. They're lucky she gives them the time of day. Even if she can't literally, physically, personally prevent a wizard from interacting with the Weave--she can seriously screw with them while they do. Mystra's first post-Mystryl act was to blanket-limit the spells wizards could perform, remember? And BG3 Mystra was able to pluck the orb from Gale's chest at any time, whenever she felt like it. She just didn't. Lifetimes of work, dedication, study, and innovation are not ultimately credited to the casters who built themselves through their art but to Mystra. Memorized spells, arcane gestures, the interaction of components. She can make all of that so much harder. And she takes credit for any advancement a wizard makes. Origin Gale has lines with Minthara where he struggles to see himself as capable of anything without Mystra's say-so and needs to be reminded that she can't claim everything he has ever done through magic, and she hasn't managed to stop him yet. The fact that Gale himself, as Mystra's former lover, doesn't believe this initially and needs someone who very much is not a wizard to remind him says a lot about the dynamic Mystra set up with him and (in all likelihood) other wizards. So how does all of this fit in with the grooming point? Well, magic users are going to be much easier to psychologically control if Mystra starts taking advantage of them when they're still children and don't know any better. She needs to feed off of their strength with no risk to herself, so she needs to make sure they are can't even fathom turning on her. Maximize the power difference, ingrain that shit early. And if it becomes a sexual relationship... Mystra can tell herself they're even less likely to consider turning on her because it's just one more way they depend on her for validation.

Mystra's own fear and trauma (like Cazador's) does not prevent her from becoming an abuser. And like Cazador, she's using it to fuel the abuse she commits herself.

Something else I want to highlight before I segue to focus on Gale further, is how wizards deal with each other and why policy differs toward wizards versus other casters.

Wizards are nerds with shared interests. They're fucking around to see what's possible with magic and seem genuinely excited when anyone innovates. Innovation is something they can learn from and incorporate it into their own art. But actual wizard friendships, at least in Baldur's Gate 3, seem to be rare. They undercut each other emotionally and often look for ways to elevate themselves above their peers. Gale's colleagues left him to twist alone in his tower for a year. Elminster prioritizes pleasing Mystra by passing on her message for Gale to kill himself, and defends her if the player condemns Mystra's behavior. He even gets angry for certain dialogue options.

(It bears saying, I think Elminster has been psychologically wrecked by Mystra too. He does seem to be trying in spite of that but guy's not well himself.)

Even if not all wizards look to become romantically entangled with Mystra, Mystra has definitely encouraged competition and mistrust between them. After all, if the wizards supported each other they might realize they're stronger than her and that she's been causing harm. Another potential death.

I suspect the reason Mystra focuses on wizards is because wizards are ordinary people who know they were born ordinary, and know how hard it was to build arcane power. They aren't as secure in themselves as sorcerers who use magic like a reflex. And warlocks manage to work around Mystra with patrons who aren't beholden to her. So best for Mystra to undermine, manipulate, or otherwise occupy sorcerers who are strong enough to pose threats and teach the wizards they'd be nothing without her.

... One of the other arguments I saw recently was that Gale was being disingenuous/lying to himself and the player when he claims he wanted to gift Mystra a part of herself back. That he only wants power for power's sake, is kind of a terrible person, and it would be boring if he was being genuine. I deeply disagree with this stance.

When it comes to motivation, I'd argue power is by nature a means to an end rather than the end itself. "If I'm powerful enough no one will be able to hurt me again," "If I'm powerful enough I can fix every terrible thing I feel the need to," "If I'm powerful enough I can push the boundaries of what is possible and find a sense of wonder at the results."

Power because power does not cut it as a motive. It's likewise with ambition. We're not 2-D mustache twirlers here.

Ambition includes experimenting with a project to see if you can pull off something new or particularly difficult. Finding joy in the process and challenge itself isn't evil. It isn't even unhealthy.

Competing with others isn't necessarily negative either, in the right context. Being an elite athlete at the Olympics for example, you're putting your own skills against those around you in the hopes of surpassing them. It doesn't mean you think poorly of your fellow competitors. If anything, one would hope you respect them deeply for the shared discipline and passion. (But you still want to win, course. ;P)

If you read my post about DnD's pantheon, it's pretty clear I'm not opposed to the idea of A. firing gods from positions they're neglecting or B. nominating others to oversee necessary-but-unused portfolios. There are established gods of the Forgotten Realms who need, urgently, to be sacked. Being born into divinity, set up through nepotism, or 'elected by seniority' is not enough to shield a deity from my judgment. Mystra is abusing her worshippers, and while her portfolio might be able to squeak by I'd argue she's been compromised and is committing unprofessional and detrimental behavior in her capacity as goddess of magic. ESPECIALLY knowing she's like this as an ascended mortal. Any other mortal would be well within moral bounds to replace her. She has no ethical high ground in that regard. Managing autonomic maintenance of the Weave is an issue, but if someone showed up to replace her with the argument that Mystra is unfit due to committing abuse... I don't think that person would be morally wrong. Ballsy as hell, but not wrong.

So what's going on with Gale?

Gale canonically, in dialogue, thinks he and the world might both be better off if he was dead. I'll go a step further and argue that before the game even starts Gale considers his personal self a net-negative. If he isn't offsetting that with magical skill, knowledge, achievements, material possessions, and overall usefulness--he doesn't think he has a reason to be alive. The universe is worse for his existing in it.

Gale brags because he's trying to show he has something of value to give other people when he sees nothing of value in himself. He's trying to prove he can be an asset so others will keep him around. He brags notably less as he gains a sense of self-worth, self-confidence, and general support as acts progress. The times he gets snippy with other casters are because if he isn't the only and most useful magic guy to get something done, Gale thinks he might as well be thrown away. He is replaceable. He's also terrified to admit anything about the orb in Act I because there is no way to see it as anything but a danger and a burden. When that's added to his depression, he's sure he'll get abandoned in the wilderness to explode by himself and it might even serve him right. No one will mourn him. They might even be glad to be rid of the burden he brought.

Gale wants others to like him, to see him as a good person, to see him as someone brave and smart and worthy of trust. He absolutely does not see himself that way. If he's trying to prove it to the party--he's trying to prove it to himself just as much. There's a line he can give with The Dark Urge where he comments that if people are being killed just for being annoying, he should be dead a thousand times over. If you get solid approval with him at the tiefling party, he'll admit he didn't have any friends before the game. And while I can only speak to a particular romantic route, in Act III he talks about having been told to his face at various points/in various ways that he's insufferable. He knows other people don't like him and don't believe in him. If bad things happen to him they probably think he deserves it. He might even think so too.

Gale doesn't see anything worthwhile in himself that isn't built through wizardry. It has to be because he was smart enough, worked hard enough, and showed enough character to earn his power. If it's sorcery (and this is only a standard he applies to himself) then all that effort he put in would become meaningless. He can't look at his personal self as having done anything deserving of value or respect if he's a sorcerer because magic was easier for him than other people. And if he can't provide any magic, knowledge, or resources at all then no one has reason to give him the time of day. People hate him. Mystra only paid attention for his abilities as a spellcaster. The mortal, personal aspects of him were things she put up with.

So forget power and ambition for just a moment. What does Gale as a person in that position, who feels that way about himself, actually want? I'd argue that he probably just wanted to know the person he loved most actually gave a shit about him as a person. That he wasn't disposable or only worth as much as his skills and material possessions. I'm pretty sure he'd have wanted that regardless of whether Mystra was a goddess. Mystra both being the kind of goddess she was and the kind of person she was kept telling him he should be satisfied, that he shouldn't want any more than she was giving him. He can't climb any higher than her. No one can give him more than her. She is divine, she is the world itself. Gale never felt loved in that relationship. Due to Mystra's abuse he got to a place where the idea of wanting to be loved back became sacrilegious. It meant there was something wrong with him, that he was arrogant and insatiable. How else could he feel utterly alone and unlovable with a goddess?

Gale desperately wanted to mean something to Mystra personally, so he tried to offer a gesture of love in her language. Something he thought would be valuable to her as an individual and something requiring a ton of arcane skill/strength to deliver. He wanted her to look at him like he was irreplaceable as a person. I genuinely don't think that's a power-hungry or ambitious thing to want.

Gale didn't understand the orb, and unfortunately for him he didn't understand Mystra either. She wasn't the wise and understanding goddess he thought she was. She never wanted an equal. She does not have it in her to love someone as such. The idea of equality, for Mystra, is something that must be crushed to preserve herself.

I figure that the Gale who ascends to godhood has accumulated a divine amount of stuff and power to compensate for his belief that lacking those things, he would be worthless. If Gale wasn't a wizard it might have been music, or writing, or fighting, or politics--any skill, influence, or resource could be used the same way. It’s not that ambition is inherently bad. It’s that for Gale, it’s unhealthy. The ambition isn’t for its own sake. He’s using it as a counterweight against his own sense of worthlessness. God Gale buries his problems instead of dealing with them. He will never know if a character who romances him only did so because they saw his potential and wanted to come along for the ride. He will never know if they'd have bothered to stick around if he was only Gale Dekarios, if he didn't have so much to offer them. He tells himself it's enough that they believed he could do it.

With the mortal Gale ending, we should note that Gale doesn’t need power to enjoy the study of magic if he’s healthy. His priority isn’t about pushing the limits of spells, making new ones, or making a name for himself. Given room to decide for himself, he just wants to uplift and share with others through teaching. His trends in approval and disapproval support this preference too.

For Gale, I really think ambition and power are crutches he uses to justify being alive because he doesn't see any other reason. Give him a reason and he genuinely doesn't need them. They're the means, not the end. He does not want power for the sake of power. Guy is sad and doesn't know how to live with himself. He's not a worse or less believable character with that being his motive. Stories are about people, and people don't move through the world with static 'flaws' and 'virtues' checklists that need to be balanced. There's nothing inherently deeper or more meaningful about villainous characters compared to heroic ones. People make choices and deal with situations according to their experiences moment to moment, trying to make sense of things as best they can throughout their lives. Gale fits perfectly within this. The other cast members do too.

And for the record, while I'd argue Karsus was far more ambitious in character than Gale--even for him, it wasn't just about power. The guy was trying to save his people. He fucked up in a horrible and traumatic way so he's a Netherese blood fountain now. (RIP Karsus but also someone please pact with him.)

And as one last, controversial section... what did Gale's experience with Mystra do to him when it comes to his relationship with sex?

From how Gale talks about and shows Weave-sex, I'd argue it's an extension of him feeling inadequate as a mortal. And knowing this is a controversial point + a lot of people have done and loved the Weave scene because it reflects Gale's love of magic, I offer this: Gale would not be less worthy of love if he didn't have magic. Gale does not know this about himself. He went from an archwizard with a tower and Mystra's chosen to a level one adventurer sleeping on the ground. His entire relationship with magic for much of the game is incredibly unhealthy because he sees the person left in its absence as worthless. For Gale to have a healthy arc, I'd argue he needs to learn how to look at himself as nothing but a man and know he's still precious and irreplaceable. He needs to learn that he doesn't need to prove he deserves to be alive. He isn't disappointing. He doesn't have to try to impress others all the time to have a place in their worlds. He doesn't need to bribe people with shiny things or unique abilities so they'll tolerate the rest. He can exist as no one and nothing but himself and be treasured just for that.

I think at some point Gale could potentially have sex in the Weave again as a repairing experience where he's confident that his physical body, his reactions, and his wants weren't anything to feel ashamed of. Reclaiming that from his experience with Mystra could be very powerful and sexy. But for the first time he has sex since Mystra, when he thinks he's going to need to kill himself any day now and has been struggling between terror and self-hatred, I personally think it's healthier for him to get the validation of being enough as just Gale. Not the Wizard of Waterdeep. His life isn't being advocated for because he's strong or unique in bed. Someone wants him alive as just a person.

And not for nothing... I'm saying this as a writer who can't not write. I've had to do my own share of reflection about how I look at myself if writing isn't the metric of my worth. I wouldn't think Gale needs to abandon all magic any more than I would need to abandon all writing. But it's really important to know we aren't empty trash without our callings, you know?

Before I end this post, I do want to invite readers to think back to those bullets I made before on unhealthy power imbalance.

A character is physically and/or mentally incapable of participating with proper awareness of the situation, as a partner with equal respect and sway within the relationship.

A character is dependent upon the prospective partner for survival and cannot refuse them without fear of retribution or withholding necessities to survival.

A character is being systematically isolated and made dependent on their partner for all socialization and self-worth.

If Mystra deliberately started grooming Gale from a young age, emphasized and exaggerated the power discrepancy rather than making any effort to close the gap, that's a pretty big deal. Gale definitely never had equal respect or sway in the relationship compared to her. She'd probably find the idea insulting in the face of her godhood. She didn't want a partner but a supplicant who obeyed her with no needs for himself. Mystra actively distorted Gale's sense of boundaries and magnified what she could take from him if he displeased her. His life's work, his ability to access parts of his own mind for spells, his means of functioning in the world, his ability to defend himself... but also? His health and survival, once the orb was brought into play. And socially, Gale was incredibly isolated. It sounds like he hasn't even seen his own mother in at least a year, which I have some thoughts on. He was friendless for a long time even as Mystra's chosen. And Mystra made sure other wizards knew when she abandoned him to the point that even Lorroakan was aware. Mystra's offense was something for others to look down on him for. And Gale struggles in-game with the idea that Mystra mistreated or neglected him--because how could a goddess, his goddess, do that? He's been gaslit so hard that he doesn't quite get a moment of fully realizing it wasn't his fault. In some dialogue options Mystra even tries to frame his trauma over her abuse, unaware even that he had the Karsic Weave inside him, as wallowing in self-pity.

Gale did make a mistake, but I'd argue it matters a lot that the mistake was innocent and that he's woefully misjudged Mystra's character. He's being told it couldn't have been innocent and he deserves to be punished for it. He largely believes that. Doesn't make it true.

#Gale Dekarios #Mystra #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 #bgiii #warning to readers there are strong opinions in here that I am very aware not everyone will share #it's okay if you have a different take and I tried to be careful about how I phrased things #I also didn't scour for all of the direct quotes from the game this time and for that I plead laziness lol sorry #I can try if there are specific moments people want to pick over #but yeah this is in the spirit of reflecting and discussing a character I adore + find really interesting for Gale #along with a character I find really psychologically fascinating and subtle as a villainess for Mystra #people are going to read both differently in places and I genuinely am not looking to fight about that #Just explore how I'm reading things + why in a way where other people are welcome to join if they wanna #If I mixed any lore details from outside the game apologies!

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avidabsurdist · 1 month

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Every time a new Brandon Sanderson book is released everyone updates their suggested reading order but all you need is the patience to be uninformed and enjoy the book!

But depending on your preference the best story to start with will be different.

If you want a crash course on the basics of The Cosmere's magic physics (Aka Investiture) so you can hypothesize on how other magic works I suggest the short story "The Emperor's Soul" as a starting point, it gives a solid overview of Realmic theory and covers Identity (a rather difficult idea to communicate) very effectively. (this is the start of the PhD route)

If you want something that's more like a traditional fairy tale as an intro I suggest Tress Of the Emerald Sea, which doesn't require a PhD in the shattering to understand. (though if you're going the PhD route I suggest reading this one later because if you're questioning the magic it's a far more confusing one)

Warbreaker is a good middle ground, if you're going the PhD route I suggest this second (it covers Intention which "The Emperor's Soul" doesn't), It's not a bad starting place either, it was my first book in The Cosmere and it's up for free on The Sand-Man's website. It's also all-around an excellent book.

I'm going to be (a tad) controversial and say I enjoy Elantris, it's certainly not Brando-Sando's best work but it was his first, and it's not a bad book to start with! just keep in mind that many of the issues in the book are things he improves on in later books.

Mistborn is two (soon to be 3) series, we distinguish them by 'Era' and they should be read in order if you want to make sense of what's going on.

Mistborn Era 1 (3 books) is also an excellent place to start, it's a YA-style series so you follow a teenager in a Post-(more like perpetual)-Apocalypse, but it's also an Epic high fantasy so if you like those and don't mind romance It's a good one.

"Mistborn Secret History": read this after Mistborn Era 1 if you're going the PHD route read anytime before The Lost Metal (Era 2 Book 4) for everyone else. (PhD track: if you want the most out of it I suggest also reading White Sand first)

Mistborn Era 2 (4 books) is a high fantasy Western set in the same world much later in time, 10/10 no notes, it's excellent.

The Stormlight Archive, TheBigOne™ It is planned to be a 10-book series with accompanying Novellas. I suggest reading in chronological order including the short stories, published so far that would be:

The Way of Kings

Words of Radiance

"Edgedancer" (novella)

Oathbringer

"Dawnshard" (novella)

Rhythm of War

Start with this series if you thirst for sprawling high-fantasy novels with page counts that would make grown men weep (the Audiobook for RoW was like 48 hours long)

The entirety of Arcanum Unbounded is not required reading, (unless you're on the PhD track) but it contains both "The Emperor's Soul" and "Edgedancer", you should probably read Elantris, Mistborn Era 1, Alloy Of Law (MB Era 2 Book 1), and Stormlight (up to Words of Radiance). If you enjoy Graphic Novels and dislike spoilers/rereading stuff when you haven't finished it yet I suggest skipping the White Sand excerpt.

White Sand is also not a terrible intro, it covers a theme in B-Sandy's work that isn't directly related to the cosmere but will give you a good insight into whether you'll like his work or not: the idea that skill is developed, not just inherent. if you're like me and dislike graphic novels GraphicAudio™ (actually a company not a joke) Has an Audio rendition that has some narrative differences from the Graphic novels (iirc at least one character is a different gender) But the Graphic novels also have a random boombox on a planet with no electricity so either should be fine.

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter is in a similar situation to Tress of The Emerald Sea except instead of a classic European Folktale Vibe it's got a Western Interpretation of Anime Vibe, ofc it's high fantasy like all Sandon Branderson's work so it's world is inspired by Japanese culture rather than just being Japanese.

The Sunlit Man read Shadows for Silence in the Forests of Hell (Arcanum Unbounded), and at least Oathbringer (Stormlight Archive 3) before this one, unless you like being thrown into the deep end, Mistborn Era 1 & 2 would also help.

There are other routes than Ph.D., there's also the Galactic Politics route, The Secret Society route, The Worldhopper Watcher route, The Ancient History route (Aka The Shattering route) ect

if you want specific reading route recs just tell me what you're looking for I can help!

#brandon sanderson #cosmere #reading order #cosmere reading order #technically I'd call this spoiler free #unless you consider overarching themes spoilers #which is dumb you shouldn't do that #stormlight #mistborn #sixth of dusk #tress of the emerald sea #yumi and the nightmare painter #elantris #B-sandy

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purgemarchlockdown · 6 months

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Milgram and The Rose Bride

(CWs: Child Abuse, Cults, Unhealthy Relationships, Bullying, Sexism, Discussions of Ownership in the context of Marriage, minor mentions of sexual abuse and minor mentions of sexual abuse in relation to Minors)

(Spoilers for Utena!)

Alright so, since I'm putting this on the Milgram blog, most likely most people who see this don't know what the Rose Bride is and what that means so lets answer that question.

The Rose Bride is a concept in the 90s Psychological Shoujo Anime Revolutionary Girl Utena, in which the main premise is that a bunch of highschoolers are dueling for marriage (ownership) of the Rose Bride so that they can revolutionize the world.

Now, the thing is, The Rose Bride is a Real Person, and the implications of her ownership and the environment that Allows for that to happen are explored through the series, and the reason why I'm bringing it up in relation to Milgram is this.

"In the end, all girls are the rose bride."

Let's talk about Mahiru for a bit since her being so focused on romantic love makes it a lot easier to explain what I mean by this.

In T1 we get this interrogation from Mahiru:

T1Q20: What do you think about smoking? I've never smoked before, but I might copy him if who I love smokes.

This is a deeply concerning sentence, Mahiru has just stated that she is willing to do something incredibly physical destructive to herself if the person she loves is doing the same. This connects back to her thoughts on having "matching love."

We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad This is a claim of responsibility From the two of us with matching love

Now, the Rose Bride has to anything the person who is engaged to her tells her to do. The Rose Bride is not allowed any sort of Autonomy or Agency.

(Transcript Link for Utena Scripts)

Touga: The Rose Bride, cooking? Touga: You shouldn't do such things as cooking. Touga: You should only take care of the roses here. Touga: This birdcage is your territory. Touga: And you are the beautiful little bird which lives here. Touga: I want to possess this birdcage, and everything in it.

Touga: Himemiya Anthy is the Bride of the victor of the Duel. Touga: While she was engaged to you, the Code required her to obey you.

I Love You:

What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me

Mahiru is also probably the most traditionally feminine out of the entire female cast. With her priorities being love, romance, and having children.

(Mahiru Interrogation)

T2Q1: What's your opinion on Marriage? Mahiru: It's something I really dream of.

T2Q10: Do you like children? Mahiru: Yup. I always dreamed of having the older being a girl, and the younger being a boy.

Mahiru is willing to do Anything for love, even if it gets her hurt in the process. That's what she's Supposed to want, that's what is Supposed to bring her joy, that's what is Supposed to bring everyone joy. (Mahiru T1 VD)

Es: I honestly have no interest in those matters. Mahiru: What? No, no. There’s no such thing as that. Being in love is like a landmine. It’ll explode someday, you know? The only thing that differs is whether it happens earlier or later in life. It’ll happen to you too. Even if you don’t have any interest in it now, one day it’ll explode for you as well. All because you’ll have that fateful encounter with your special someone.

Love is what Everyone Wants and if you say you Don't you just haven't found the right person.

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well. Before then, I always admired soap operas and shoujo manga because I thought that they depicted a world different from our own.

Voice: Once upon a time... Voice: ...there was a princess grieving over the deaths of her mother and father. Voice: Before this princess appeared a prince traveling upon a white horse. Voice: His appearance gallant, and his smile gentle, the prince enveloped the princess

The amatonormativity in Mahiru's worldview is clear. People are Supposed to fall in love and have the Normal Idealized Heterosexual Romance and there's Nothing Else Outside of That At All.

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well.

Anthy: But I've been engaged to you, Utena-sama. Utena: I've told you to stop mentioning stuff like "engagement" and the "Rose Bride." Anthy: Nevertheless... Utena: Look, no matter how you look at me, I'm a regular wholesome girl. Utena: I'm only interested in wholesome boys, not a bride or stuff like that.

And Mahiru does a lot to preserve a "marketable" quality to her actions and behavior. TIHTBILWY is formatted like a magazine, something that is sold and bought by consumers. Erasing the messiness of her relationship or even Romanticizing those qualities to seem appealing.

Giving you love to the point of pulling you down It's just because I still get worried, please forgive me Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual, Is because I love you

Voice: but because of the strength of her admiration for the prince, Voice: the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! Voice: But is that really good for her?

The story of the Prince in Utena is one that is a fabrication, it hides and excludes multiple Very Important parts of the story all in the favor of portraying the Ideal Fairytale Heterosexual Romance.

Unlike Utena who chooses to become a "Prince" (which is a concept I'll get into in a bit.) Mahiru is trying to make Herself the Rose Bride. She orientates her life around who she loves, she's willing to accept a lot of abuse for the sake of an Ideal Relationship, she even actively downplays her intelligence and strength! Something that is explored in detail by this post by archivalofsins you should check out.

Now that isn't to say Mahiru isn't a horrible partner. She is, and this is why. Mahiru is Expecting this sort of incredibly idealistic fairytale romance from her partner, an ideal that no person can possibly live up to without harming the people they care about and themselves!

Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you Is love

My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care!

You can't live up to this and you shouldn't want to! It's an unrealistic and unachievable ideal with a horrific power imbalance to boot! Yet Mahiru is Trying to conform to these ideals, trying to conform to the unrealistic expectations of women and relationships in society, and that's why she's here in the first place.

"He who believes friendship exists is a fool."

So these toxic and unhealthy ideals and expectations are at the core of Mahiru's character and her situation. But there ideals are perpetuated by an environment that promotes this sort of behavior, one that isn't unique to Mahiru's situation.

Muu Kusunoki is a 16 year old teenage girl who is both a victim of bullying and someone who bullies others for her own gain.

She also might of had a homoromantic relationship with her murder victim.

Let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me Postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note “I love YOU”

I wonder who that reminds me of.

I'll get into Shiori in a second, but it's important to note that Muu introduces a concept that's present in Mahiru's story but is particularly present in Muu, the concept of the cycle.

Saionji: No... I was to be the one to rescue her from the coffin this time. Saionji: No! I am the one who will save her this time. The castle said to contain eternity... Saionji: the power to revolutionize the world...

The concept of eternity and nostalgia in Utena tends to be depicted as a coffin, one you need to break out of to grow.

Touga: If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die without being born. Touga: We are the chick; the egg is the world. Touga: If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being born. Touga: Break the world's shell! Touga-Juri: For the sake of revolutionizing the world!

The duelists want the Rose Bride so that they can gain the power to revolutionize the world. Who she is does not Matter as much as what she can Give Them.

Now, this idea is particularly present in characters like Shidou and Kotoko who position themselves as saviors, not for the benefit of others but for what they Get out of that arrangement, thematically fitting the concept of the prince.

However, Muu is not the prince, she is not a savior. In fact she always positions herself as the victim, as someone pitiful and weak. (Crying B)

Muu: Hey… Prison guard, when you say “I”… Who are you talking about? Es: [breaking down] Muu: Prison guard? Es: [stumbles] Muu: Prison guard. What’s wrong? Prison guard! [shakes Es] Hey! Prison guard! Es: Shut up! Don’t touch me! Muu: [cries] You’re so cruel… I… Even though I was just worried about you… [cries again] I can’t take it anymore. I hate you, prison guard!

Es pain and breakdown is caused by something Muu said, and yet when Es very sharply tells her not to touch them because their uncomfortable with it. Muu immediately starts crying and talking about how much They got hurt because of what they did, when Es is currently unresponsive due to what she did to them, albeit unintentionally.

Muu needs to to be the victim, After Pain shows all the bad things that happened to her and not Any of the bullying she participated in. It's Not My Fault is a whole song about how everything she did was right actually and that everyone else was wrong.

Now, Muu isn't a master manipulator or anything. She's an impulsive 16 year old. If Muu was a master manipulator she wouldn't be here, would she? She'd be still in school taking the honey up as she was before Rei did whatever she did.

Muu gains power by being pitiful and weak so she'll be loved, and by its' very nature it's self-destructive. She cannot be Happy because if she Was this wouldn't work anymore. She Must be in a worse situation, she must be the victim, or else no one would pity and love her.

I am innocent as everybody desires

Juri: You're just like Shiori... Juri: ...cruelly innocent.

Muu cycles from being "weak and pitiful" to being "queenly and powerful" and tends to hurt herself in the process. This attempt at grabbing power and love through pity Harms Muu, and she seems to even be drowning in a lot of self-hatred and self-pity, and is looking for external validation to confirm that she's "good."

But I guess some of it is my faultMaybe it’s ok as it is I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

Hey, what if If I am a bad girl Don’t hate me. Don’t even try to proof from “After Pain”

And, in an attempt to gain power and control, Muu traps herself in a coffin.

Shiori: This is me, the real me! Shiori: And not the underdog that was living a miserable life in the shadow of the bright shining Juri! Shiori: The real me that surpasses the light. Shiori: Yes, this is the me that controls Juri.

But, it isn't all her fault.

Again, Muu really was bullied, horribly so if were judging by her lyrics in After Pain and the sequences we see in it.

If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed

T1Q4: Is there something you hate? Scary people and ghosts. And right now, school.

Muu isn't lying about this, and Rei isn't fully sympathetic either, she did Hurt Muu and Muu really did want to apologize to her.

T1Q9: Do you have apologetic feelings for who you killed? A: The person who did the wrong thing first should apologize.

Shiori: Juri-san was so kind to me. Shiori: But I thought she was kind to me because she looked down on me, Shiori: and that she had pity on me for being plain and useless. Shiori: That's pathetic! Shiori: So I wanted to change my relationship with Juri-san. Shiori: But what I did with him made me more miserable than before. Shiori: I should have wanted it for myself! Shiori: But now... Shiori: Now I'm on equal terms with her. No, I've won! Shiori: I always had a place in Juri-san's heart. Shiori: I'm the winner! Shiori: What shall I do? I'm so delighted to know my friend's secret I almost can't bear it! Shiori: She suffered alone, looking at my picture in secret... Shiori: That was Juri-san? Poor thing! Shiori: No good! It's still no good! Shiori: How could you look at me like that?!Shiori: Why did it all turn out this way?

The school as a whole is letting a horrible environment of bullying and toxicity be left to rot and fester. You Really Can't create a healthy friendship in a world like that, it just won't let you. If your not friends with someone because you gain something from them, you'll suffer.

Muu: Wow, poor thing,.. I’ll teach you! Friends aren’t like that, you know. Rather than using each other for something, we just get along because we’re comfortable around each other. That’s all. Es: Well, I’m sorry about that. Muu: Haruka-kun is really nice! He accepts anything I say, he listens to anything I tell him. For me, that’s really comfortable. Es: And that’s… “friendship”? Muu: What do you mean? Of course we’re friends! Haruka-kun is happy with it, so it only has benefits for both of us! Es: I, as someone who has no friends, can’t judge, of course, but isn’t that just exploitation? Muu: Exploitation…? Um, I don’t really understand, but… I do help him pick out clothes [in return], and I recently gave him a hairpin I didn’t need anymore as a hand-me-down!

Akio: But sincerity by itself changes nothing. Akio: Without power, one finds themself merely depending on others to live.

Jackalope describes this relationship as a "Master-Servant" relationship and it seems like this is the type of friendship Muu is familiar with. She's emulating how her friendships were in school, just with someone else as the servant and her as the master.

T1Q1: What is a friend? A: Someone who properly listens to what I say.

Now this doesn't completely absolve her obviously, what she did was still Very Bad and even though she Breaks the hourglass in her MVs. She doesn't really leave it.

Muu does not want to accept responsibility for her actions, she believes herself to be justified and in the right, even when she has Done Wrong.

This unwillingness to accept when something she did is wrong and the unhealthy environment of Milgram that assigns strict moral value to people's actions and has no nuance in its judgement...leads her back into the cycle she was trapped in.

“A girl who cannot become a princess is doomed to become a witch.”

Now we've tackled the gender roles and horribly toxic cycles and ideals, so, what happens when you Can't work within those confines, or even want to break out of them? Just, hypothetically, if you cannot become a princess (which is everyone because the ideal of a princess is so incredibly unrealistic that anyone who aspires to be it would destroy themselves in the process) or Don't want to be a princess, what happens?

Well.

You become something Other.

Something Evil and Unnatural.

Something that needs to be Punished and Harmed.

So, now, this is where I have to mention that Utena as a show deals with underage sexual abuse, I didn't mention this for the other sections since they were not as relevant to those discussions. However since this section deals with the abuse received by the Rose Bride it feels important to mention.

I will not be referring to it in the context of Amane's due to how we don't have information in the text pointing to Amane being a csa victim. This is for the sake of Tact, as it feels wrong to speculate about it here and I do not feel like I'm the right person to examine this.

It will, again, be mentioned and alluded to, so stay safe and do what's good for your health.

So, Amane Momose is repeatedly dehumanized throughout her story.

This is a consistent theme with her, she is treated as something subhuman and terrifying.

In Purge March, Amane is consistently depicted as scary, threatening, or otherwise evil.

There's even a section in her T2 VD where Amane calls herself "evil," though it is done in a roundabout way while she's talking about Shidou (who I will get to in a bit.)

A: Both pain and illness are trials. According to our teachings, those who run from them are the worst evil there is. That’s one of the four great principles. No matter who you are, that cannot be forgiven. E: What are you…? A: Oh – speaking of which, there is one among the prisoners right now. An evil existence that’s trying to steal people’s trials away from them.

Shadow: The witch roams this world of darkness even now. Shadow: Seeking the young and noble, to sacrifice them anew! Shadow: Surely the light presents an obstacle to the witch, to her dominion over the dark. Shadow: Beware! Beware! She is still somewhere in this world...

Not only that, but Amane is The Cat, a symbol constantly associated with sin and impurity throughout the MVs with Kazui and Yuno.

And is implied to have actually Been asked if she was human by her parents.

(Amane T1 VD)

Amane: Yes. It is only natural for a person(/human) to apologize to another for breaking a promise. Es: … Amane: Why are you looking so doubtful? Are you not human?

I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah!

Amane is not to be considered human, she's even collared and leashed in her Prisoner design, the medal and bow on her outfits in the MVs being another "collar" of sorts.

Amane Needs to be Restrained and Domesticated or else she'll bring harm to the people around her. She isn't good enough to be a "good girl" and seems to Know This.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl

It's always "I can be a better girl" or "I can be a good girl" and not "I am a good girl," and the line above implies its impossible for her to be one. It's not something she can do.

When she gets punished by her parents its to make her a "better girl," and to "change" her into a "good girl." It is love, for they are not leaving her to die as an animal.

(Amane Interrogations)

T2Q9: What does love mean to you? A: To spread mercy with no limits.

But it’s not scary at all, because it’s love I can really think it’s great. See isn’t it a great thing?

Even though these punishments keep on Almost Killing Her!

It's what she needs to go through to be good! And even if she doesn't even believe its possibly anymore what else can she do? Run? Running away from trials is a sin! One of the worst there is! She can't allow herself to be more sullied than she already is.

Plus she knows this is love, she isn't scared anymore, it's childish to be scared of it.

Akio: A child like you can't appreciate my ideals. Akio: The Rose Bride exists because of ideals you don't comprehend.

Plus there's a sort of comfort in it, she knows what happens next. She idealizes Milgram somewhat in T1, believing that it's possible for this world, that resembles her abusive environment so much, could be Good.

Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

There's a comfort in Milgram's strict forgiven/unforgiven verdict system with a (theoretical) possibility of growth! And she later takes comfort in the same religious doctrine that Harmed her when Es does declare her as unforgiven.

If your so used to a situation, even if it harms you, why would you ever want to leave it? It's scarier if you leave it, you don't know what will happen next. At least at home, Amane knows what to do so she can get off a bit longer without getting hurt.

If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening

Akio: Anthy, the sword. Akio: That's right. You're a good girl, Anthy.

Amane's suffered for twelve or so years, an eternity trapped in a coffin. A cycle of abuse and pain and horror and fear. Why would she Ever want to leave it when what she's seen of the outside world is so horrible?

Amane: In fact, there have been people who said that to me. I’ve been told things like, “You’re being deceived.” “You can still make it right now.” “You’re crazy.”

People are always positioning themselves as stronger than her, people are always positioning themselves as smarter than her, people are always positioning themselves as Her Prince.

Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…… Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead. Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

Utena: Cut it out with that "Rose Bride" or "possession" nonsense. Utena: That girl is an ordinary girl named Himemiya Anthy! Touga: Is she? Touga: Is it true that you're an ordinary girl? Utena: You don't like it, do you? Utena: Being the Rose Bride or whatever... Anthy: I... Utena: Go ahead, speak your mind! Anthy: My mind... Utena: Yeah! Utena: You hate being treated as the Rose Bride, right? Utena: Tell him clearly! Anthy: All right. Anthy: I hate being treated as the Rose Bride. Utena: What's so funny?

Amane: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy.

What she wants doesn't matter! When has it ever mattered? The people who say it does, don't like it when she acts in a manner they don't expect and her parents have made it Very Clear that what she does isn't important to them.

Any sort of happiness she could possibly get tends to come from things that are outside of her cult. And because of that, she isn't supposed to have them, and she is wrong for wanting them in the first place.

And yet...Amane cares so much about having free will and autonomy though, it's her main argument in her T1 VD and her biggest problem with her treatment.

Amane: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time? Judging these things based on someone’s age will not take you very far. Do I, at age twelve, not have my own will?

That's the thing with Amane Momose, she doesn't want to be a "princess."

T2Q13: If you could be reborn, would you still choose to be yourself? A: Obviously.

She wants to stay as her, no matter what. In spite of all of this she doesn't want to be anything else But Her. Even if it gets her hurt.

Amane helped the cat because she wanted to, she saw it hurt and couldn't look away.

Utena: Hey, save her! Utena: It's too cruel! Utena: Save her! Utena: Save her...

And in the eyes of god, she was wrong for doing so.

Dios: She can no longer be saved.

’Tis ordained, thou shall follow thine destiny

But again, Amane doesn't want to die.

T1Q12: What is the meaning of life? A: I think it is something you learn for the first time when you look behind yourself when it ends. I do not want to have regrets then, so I live on with all my might.

This was the tipping point of her, how much more is she willing to suffer? How much longer is she willing to stay here? Because she will die, it's not an if, its a when.

So, she decides, to break out of her coffin, and while it is partially due to how she was given a righteous reason to kill her mother. It is a crime that is mainly motivated by self-preservation and hatred.

Amane: Furthermore, isn’t it condescending of you to assume that just because I happen to be a child, I am incapable of hating someone enough to kill them?

Unfortunately for her, the audience isn't as willing to accept that.

I talk about it in more detail over here but we are Constantly positioned in the place of her abusers. From framing to her opinions on us, ever since we voted her guilty in T1 for the primary reason of "making her realize her mistakes." we mimic her parents.

Since she cannot become a princess, she becomes a witch, and is forced right back into that cycle she desperately tried to escape.

And Someday, Together, We'll Shine

So, that's a bit of a downer. But even so we have hope!

It's not exactly easy when the system built is so counter-productive to everyone's wellbeing and development that it often makes them worse instead of better.

But Amane has made a promise to live. Muu Does want to have genuine relationships with the people around her. And Mahiru has admitted her relationship wasn't as ideal as she initially thought.

And sometimes, you just need to see a possibility for something outside of all this to be able to get out of it.

Anthy: What will you be doing in ten years? Utena: I dunno. But... Anthy: But? Utena: But I hope we can be together like this drinking tea then. Anthy: Yes. I hope so too. Utena: I'm sure that'll be great. Utena: Let's have tea and laugh together ten years from now, okay? Utena: Promise? Anthy: Yes. Definitely.

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wings-of-ink · 2 months

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Hi!! I know you said you'll refrain from answering long asks, and this ask is pretty long but I sent it anyways cause I think the answer would be pretty short! If not, please don't feel pressured to respond! If u don't respond I'll take that the answer is longer than I thought it would be, so I've saved it on my notes app and will gladly send it again when u end chapter 3 or whenever u allow it! :)

Now to the ask,

Will it be possible to romance a RO without flirting w/ them? Is it possible to flirt w/ everyone (but this specific RO) or just like one RO and even so end up in a relationship w/ a different RO? I'm thinking of playing a mc that is really attracted physically to people like Zhan but he's been in love w/ Oswin since forever. And he thinks flirting is for when you're playing w/ someone (even tho he's probably seen his parents flirting constantly lol), but since he loves Oswin he doesn't need to play, he can just be genuine. But he still thinks he has no chance w/ Oswin, so he flirts with Zhan (without moving on 😭). But I also feel kinda sad about Zhan I don't wanna hurt their feelings😭 if we flirt w/ them and maybe hook up are they gonna be sad if we get w/ someone else?? 😞 Cause like my mc will start to genuinely care about them but won't be in love pls let's just be besties who used to have benefits🥺 Also if this whole situation is possible, how would Oswin react to it?? Poor boy must be😧🤨😳

Sorry for the long ask, the demo was gigantic and amazing!! Ty so much for your hard work <3

Hello Anon-dear! If your ask is a bit long to read-that's fine, if it's long to answer, that's where I'll need to pause for the time being. That's where I get hung up and distracted, lol. I'm still taking those too, it's still Friday somewhere, lol.

To answer your question, it will absolutely be possible to romance someone without flirting. The "flirt" options are passively tracked just so I can program certain flirty responses that will be directed back to the MC by those ROs (it's a way for me to track if it's okay with reader/MC so I'm not directing like super suggestive come-ons towards them that aren't okay).

I absolutely love how you're going to play your MC. That's part of the reason I wanted to do things this way. The way I play my MCs sometimes makes flirting almost out of character for them, but of course I'd want the romance, lol.

Your MC will be free to flirt and do some other things with Zahn (they are all kinds of okay with that, lol) and then lock-in with Oswin later - no flirting required.

Zahn will be totally fine if your MC doesn't end up with them. They and Duri are both good with physical-only and flirty relationships. Your MC will make selections as they go about how they feel about each potential suitor, and the hook-up ROs will have a selection that you can choose if this is just for fun or if it's got some feelings attached (whether your MC is fully aware or not). [Lucky for your MC, I added a light spicey scene for Zahn in chapter 3 if they so choose] :D

If Oswin is aware of relations between the MC and others, he's going to feel a little strange about it and be concerned (for MC's well-being because he cannot help himself, lol). Mainly, things like that aren't his bag, but he also knows that for many people physical and romantic relationships can be separate. He's more concerned with having his lover's heart above all else, so ultimately he will be okay with it. For MCs that have been involved with the hook-ups, particularly the ROs, Oswin may have a harder time digesting that the MC is choosing him to remain with. (He may feel that the connection between the MC and Zahn/Duri was deeper and never considered that the MC would ever go for him). It will be an interesting conversation for sure (one that the programming for is already frightening me, lol).

Thank you so much for the Ask and kind words! I really appreciate you digging into my story and having a good time with it! ^_^

#god cursed if #twine if #asks #if wip #twine wip #interactive novel #if game #interactive fiction #gc ro oswin #gc ro reactions #gc ro zahn #gc ro duri

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avelera · 1 year

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Genuinely curious, in GS what are some of the reasons Dream starts falling for Hob? In the beginning he’s more open to talking about his grief and relating to another human being, why is that? I do absolutely get the answers of this from the fic I’m just interested in hearing your thoughts 💖

Ooh, thank you, Anon, this is such an exciting question! Consider this an official "Giving Sanctuary" Behind the Scenes look!

Let me just quickly get the Doylist reason for Dream being so in love with Hob from the beginning in GS out of the way first:

I had, at that point, seen a lot of fics where Hob has the uphill battle of wooing Dream and/or Dream spent most of the fic coming around to the fact he was in love with Hob. Which makes a lot of sense! Dream is very closed off with his emotions and in denial about so many things about himself. There is a lot of evidence for a read that any relationship between Hob and Dream is going to require Hob to continue to be the emotionally open one and slowly chip away at Dream's reticence and denial of any and all emotion.

But it's been done. It's been done by really heckin' good writers so around ch. 2 of writing GS I had a discussion with my incredible beta reader @thornfield13713 (without whom this fic would simply not exist) and the outcome of the conversation was, "Hey, what if Dream did know that he's in love in this fic? And what if Dream fell head over heels with Hob in 1689 right there at the White Horse and acted upon it?"

I was so excited and amused by the idea I couldn't resist going with it! Further discussions with amazing people like @fishfingersandscarves made me even more convinced of the hilarity of a fic that extrapolated on Dream's heart eyes in 1689 when Hob says he has, "so much to live for," to full on teenage crush territory, doing the Dream equivalent of giggling and twirling his hair. Why? Because Dream is sadness-sexual and Hob is suddenly (after a bath) hot to him! He has this long romance novel cover hair, an open shirt revealing his manly chest hair, and an air of tragedy about him which was catnip for Depression of the Endless here. (Fishy did some HILARIOUS doodles while we were brainstorming this!).

And the thing is, there is evidence for this version of Dream! Dream goes from zero to a million with Nada, the whole relationship lasts about a day I think?? So there's actually plenty of evidence that once Dream knows he's in love, he's not actually that repressed! He goes for it! Even with Alianora they basically get introduced and he says more or less "if we're to be lovers, I'll give you my heart, my constancy, and my love forever". They just met!

When it comes to love, Dream in the comics is actually quite a romantic! To the point where the popular fanon that he doesn't know love feels like might be a disservice. If anything (and this appears in GS) the reason he's hesitant to be demonstrative at first with Hob is because of traumatic events in his life like Nada?

So I asked myself, what if Dream does actually have a modicum of a sense of responsibility to not repeat that mistake that he made with Nada, and so he knows he's in love with Hob but hesitant to give in until he can be 100% sure he's not going to hurt the person he loves again, and then he's hesitant because, like a self-aware adult, he realizes that Hob feels beholden to him for getting him off the street and so Dream resolves to let Hob make the first move? (Made all the more hilariously tragic because Hob decides to let Dream make the first move because of his fears of losing the friendship.)

So anyway, that was the reason I wanted to write a Dream that knows he's in love from the outset BUT, let's dive into the Watsonian, in-universe answers to your question because I adore talking about it so much!

So in the fic, Dream's original, "Oh," moment where he fell in love was the one we see, in my opinion, canonically on screen in the show when Dream gives Hob that ridiculously soft and wondering look when he says, "Death is a mug's game, I've got so much to live for."

However, the actual divergence point from canon, the reason Dream doesn't just feel the first soft stirring of An Emotion towards Hob but then still just fucks off for another hundred years, is the decision to prolong the night by going to another pub but more importantly, it's when Hob offers his sympathies about Orpheus.

But even then, when Hob offers his sympathies? Dream doesn't offer almost anything back! In fact, if you read the dialogue closely, Dream is pretty much entirely focused on himself and only himself during that entire conversation, up until the very end when he offers Hob a place to sleep for the night.

Thing is, Dream in GS is the softest I ever write him, but he's still not a great person in Ch. 1, he's actually incredibly selfish and self-centered, and there's a very deliberate reason for that! This ties into your question of exactly how and why Dream falls in love so hard and fast with Hob there. Let me explain:

It's my belief that one of the most insidious aspects of grief and depression (clinical or otherwise) is how it isolates us. But more important, how it makes us turn inward, which exacerbates the isolation. Dream has been mourning the death of his son at this point for give-or-take 2,500 years. He's marinated in that grief. He has turned inward, and selfish, and cold, and cruel because of it. The pain is real but it's a pain so intense to him that it makes him completely blind to the pain of others. It has arrested his development, his maturity, and his empathy for others entirely, so he is effectively operating at a teenage or early 20-something emotional level ever since. He sees slights everywhere, he thinks subjectively if not objectively that no one has suffered as profoundly as he has. He feels abandoned by his family and he feels like no one in his life understands his grief.

Some of this is based in fact! He is, in fact, the only Endless to have a child they care about (that I know of so that is canon to the fic) so none of his other siblings could really empathize with him or offer him more than platitudes.

Even worse, Destiny, Destruction, and Death, his three favorite siblings arguably, all directly or indirectly led to Orpheus's death, with Destruction encouraging him to go to the Underworld after Eurydice, Destiny warning Death not to offer the boon of Super Immortality, and Death abiding by Destiny's recommendation since he gives those so rarely. But not only did they not stop Orpheus they didn't warn Dream so he could take this moment more seriously and possibly intervene.

Now, would Dream have listened? Probably not! But with 20/20 hindsight, his bitterness was compounded by the (likely incorrect) belief that if he had just known everything that Destiny, Death, and Destruction knew, he could or would have prevented Orpheus's death. Or at the very least if he had known that he was about to lose his son, and there was no stopping it, he could have at least enjoyed their final days together. Of course that would have altered events significantly but it's also very unlikely Dream would have altered his own actions even with the knowledge that Orpheus was going after Eurydice. Dream's conclusions that he would have taken action if he'd known everything (except that Orpheus was doomed) are illogical thoughts based on grief, not objective reality or self-awareness, but they've compounded Dream's bitterness and isolation towards his own family before the fic begins, unlike in canon, where Orpheus still being a severed head means Dream's grief and blame is much more complicated and thus intractable.

Likewise, Calliope also officially broke ties with Dream as a result of his coldness towards Orpheus after he met Eurydice and his failure to prevent Orpheus's death (viewing Dream much the same way Dream views his siblings' lack of intervention) so Dream was truly alone and stewing with his grief for millennia.

Enter Hob Gadling, who recently lost his son. Who, counter to everything Dream expected after seeing that Hob had a son and a wife he loved in 1589, has not given up on life the way Dream has. Dream is actively wishing to die in GS as a result of Orpheus's death and only held back by the weight of his responsibilities, which I think is pretty much canonical to the comic series.

Now, I've ranged far from my point, but to swing back to it: Dream is still in a very selfish and inward-facing place in Ch. 1, even as he helps Hob. To be clear, he doesn't fall in love for Hob's sake in that moment, he falls in love very narcissistically with the projection of his own grief in another person. When Dream says, "[I'm not weeping for you] I'm weeping for myself," he's telling the truth. He sees in Hob's misery and rags and suffering the outward projection of how Dream feels every single day since Orpheus died. He sees in Hob's isolation how Dream feels after being (he feels) abandoned by Calliope and his siblings. Dream feels like he's looking in a mirror at himself right after Orpheus's death (absurd as that might from a material angle given all the power he has vs. Hob's destitution). He's not quite taking Hob out for another drink at that moment, he's taking "Dream the Day Orpheus Died" out for a drink and only slooowly over the course of the conversation begins to see Hob for his own sake, not just a reflection of himself.

Arguably he didn't invite Hob out to the Penny Whistle to help Hob but because he's having feelings for this reflection of his own pain. He's still too depressed and inward-facing to really be cognizant of Hob's grief, he only sees his own, so being with Hob is still a form of sort of wallowing at this point.

But the thesis of the story, and indeed, my own emotional thesis around grief and depression and healing, is that helping someone else begins to break down those walls. Not entirely, but it's a start. Hob's moment of selflessness, when he takes a break from his own grief to care for Dream, is the first crack in the ice that's encased Dream for millennia. Taking care of Hob over the course of the story helps Dream widen that gap and, in the course of their conversation at the Penny Whistle, just enough light breaks through the grief that has buried Dream that he begins to see that he has been buried by it.

Up until this point, Dream has just sort of... accepted that his pain and grief are just the world itself. It's just the way of things. The fact that other people like Hob (when he's enjoying life, unlike 1689) can't see that the natural state of the world is pain and darkness make Dream think those people are stupid. It makes him hate them and himself and life. This little crack of light that Hob allows in by showing Dream empathy illuminates for Dream that there is something out there besides his pain. That maybe he is wrong that there's nothing to life but misery. Maybe he is, in fact, trapped by his grief. Maybe, in fact, his grief isn't the truth, but has actually blinded him to the true state of the world around him.

That is really the moment Dream goes from fond of Hob and nominally invested in his survival to head-over-heels, Nada levels of love-at-first-sight obsessed with Hob in an instant. And it's still selfish! I'd argue his love for Nada was selfish in a similar way, falling for someone who made him feel things.

But Dream realizes he's in love! He realizes it the moment that Hob takes his hand and won't let him go and tells him he cares if Dream is there in 100 years and he cares not in any sort of transactional way other than it makes him happy to know that Dream is out there, hopefully happy as well, and that it's an entirely selfless love of Hob's or that it's selfish insofar as Dream's simple continuing existence gives Hob hope of a familiar face every century. He tells Dream, whose parents treated love as transactional at best and unwanted at worst, that Dream doesn't have to do anything for Hob to continue to wish the best for him. Nothing is expected! In fact, Dream didn't have to do anything in the first place, even be kind to Hob, to win this love. In fact he's been pretty awful to Hob, but it doesn't matter, because Hob cares about him anyway just for being himself and being alive and being there in accordance with their agreement to meet once a century.

This is incredibly revelatory for Dream, to simply be cared about and wanted by someone who isn't dependent on him (like a subject) where he can argue that they don't really care about him, they care about his function as Dream Lord. Even Jessamy and Lucienne Dream can dismiss as caring about him because of how he fulfills his function. Which, when one is in a deep depression, can overcome the obvious facts that Jessamy and Lucienne love Dream for who he is, not just for being the Dream Lord! But with Hob, even depression can't make the argument that Hob cares about the Dream Lord and not for Dream, since Hob knows nothing about Dream's function as of yet.

It's impossible to understate how revelatory this moment at the Penny Whistle is for Dream. To have someone who understands his grief about his son, who reaches out in sympathy, who basically says he will fight God for allowing Orpheus to die and says it with complete sincerity. To have someone care and be invested in Dream without any possibility that he does so for his role. To have, for the first time, someone ask Dream if he's ok now about Orpheus's death, even though it was 2,500 years ago! Unlike everyone else, even Calliope, Hob is the first one not to assume that Dream is over it yet, or that he never felt anything at all. Hob is the first fellow grieving father to see Dream and ask him, as a father, if he is still grieving his son, and if he's going to be ok, and if he's actively suicidal about it!

This beat was based on real anecdotes I've read from parents who lose a child, how the mother is often flooded with sympathy and support, but fathers are often ignored as far as their need for support after (just one more way toxic masculinity fails men). My partner said it rang true that, as a man, no one had ever really asked Dream if he was ok after Orpheus died, beyond the initial condolences, and he's not ok. In fact, he's been actively buried in the darkest despair about it ever since!

So Dream falls in love with Hob here. Yes, it's for selfish reasons at first, that Hob finally gives Dream the sympathy he's always craved. But that selfish love of Hob for comforting him is the thread that helps lead Dream out of the dark. Then, over the course of their time together in the Manor House, that hole in the walls of his despair begins to break open even wider. Dream begins to see Hob for who he is and his good qualities. He begins to see Hob's grief over Robyn and sympathize with it for Hob's sake, not just his own. He begins to want to help Hob for his own sake, not just so Hob can say more nice things to Dream, but because he realizes he wants Hob to be happy, and that Dream wants to be happy, and that together they don't need to suffer like this. He begins to look around, finally, and see how Lucienne is afraid of his anger, though she's done nothing wrong, and that Jessamy cares deeply for him and suffers discomfort on his behalf because of her motherly love for him.

The selfish love leads him to selfless love and really, that's why it's all over for Dream with regards to Hob. He has been drowning for millennia and Hob is the first breath of air he's had. He's basically high on the first positive emotions he's felt since Orpheus died, and it's thanks to Hob.

Dream's emotions are immature as a result of that arrested development, because Dream hasn't felt anything consistently good since Orpheus died. He is, in fact, effectively a teenager! He gets a crush! He's doing the Endless equivalent of giggling and twirling his hair and complimenting Hob for pointing out blindingly obvious things. Dream's body, that he's been basically ignoring except for possibly the occasional physical release of a one-night stand, suddenly springs back to life in embarrassing ways because he's not buried in misery anymore. Dream begins to feel things, physically and emotionally, because finally someone cares about him in the way he needed to be cared about. And so he falls in love, Big Love, Forever Love, with Hob for being there, being the person he needs, for loving him the way he needs. And very fortunately, Hob is over the moon ecstatic to get the chance to shower Dream with that love, because he feels the same way in return!

This is already insanely long. Obviously I have a lot of feelings about this. But it was amazing even to me how much Dream in 1689 specifically clicked with Hob the minute Hob began to share his grief and offer his sympathy to Dream in return. After that, it was amazing I could keep their hands off each other for as long as the story did! Which was, minus Destiny's intervention, one whole entire week lol.

#giving sanctuary #giving sanctuary bts #1689 fic #sandman meta #dreamling

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oraclekleo · 12 days

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How to interpret Tarot cards (or Oracle cards) in order to read sexual topics in them (kinks, turn ons, preferences, etc.)

Hello my dear followers and random visitors of my blog!

I was asked this multiple times but recently with a request to make a post on it. The question is: How can I read kinks, turn ons and other sex related details in tarot cards?

Those who follow me for some time know, that I actually have several tarot decks with 18+ imagery but I can assure you that those don’t give the spicy type of interpretation either as the guidebooks are still pretty wholesome and general so if you think you can buy a deck that will have kinks listed with each card, you might be disappointed. I haven’t seen any deck like that so far. If you did, let me know. I would be curious.

Anyway! How can anyone interpret any tarot (or oracle) deck regarding sexual topics? Let’s find out!

You must have some theoretical knowledge prior to reading! You will never see something you don’t have vocabulary for in the cards so if you want to do readings on kinks, study the topic first. Read books, scientific papers, well-sourced articles, discussions… Make sure to accumulate some knowledge on kinks because you will never see them in the cards if you don’t know them. Please! Don’t limit your research to Tumblr, Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Pornhub… Try to actually read something about the psychology of sexuality. From actual professionals with proper education and experience in the field, not from self-proclaimed ‘experts’ on TikTok. Yes, it does sound boring. But hey! You asked how I do it. And I’m an information geek.

Ask clearly and with context! If you want to see something in the cards, you need to state your question clearly enough and know some context. As you have seen, I often use tarot spreads for my readings where I have multiple questions, like my Kinky readings where actually only one question is titled Kink. Context helps! Any card can actually mean numerous kinks so you need to see the bigger picture. If the rest of the reading describes the person as vanilla and romantic, it’s not very likely for The Moon card to describe their anal sex preferences but more likely to describe romance under the moonlight or bonding through sharing hidden thoughts. Context matters.

Play the association game! Once again, a trick from psychology. The association game. It means that you are told a word and say the first thing that comes to your mind linked to it. For our purposes you can look up the keywords or guidebook interpretation of your card and simply try to associate the words with something else but following the sexual topic of your reading. For example some of the key words for The Sun card are positivity, fun, warmth, success, vitality. If you pull The Sun card for kink question, you can work with the warmth or vitality key words. For example warmth can mean sensory play kink, dripping skin safe wax on skin, it can also mean cock warming and you would surely come up with more. Vitality can mean extraordinary stamina so perhaps a tantric sex or cock warming again, as that also requires stamina and self control, or it can denote high sex drive and quickie preferences.

The imagery gives hints! Don’t just stick to the key words and look at the card, at the imagery. Look at it properly and seek for clues giving out something you could associate with the question you are asking about. Are you asking about a turn on and you pull an Ace of Wands? Typical Freud! It can mean this person finds well-endowed men attractive. Are you asking about a kink and you pull the Queen of Swords card? It can mean your person has a weakness for dominant partners and being bossed around with sharp wits but also grace and care. It really depends on how the card looks. Is there a person drinking from a cup on the card? It can mean oral sex. Is there a person leaning against the wall? You probably can guess. The imagery can be completely wholesome, even cute but you will always be able to find something you can associate with sexual topics. If you have the knowledge, of course.

Don’t be shy to discuss! Nobody is born perfect, we can only aspire towards it throughout our lives. If you are not sure or you simply need a second opinion, don’t hesitate to go and ask. If you have a friend you can discuss this with, great! If you don’t you can always come to me and I’m happy to give suggestions or brainstorm your ideas. During my practice, I often bothered my friend with naughty interpretations. I still do sometimes. She’s kinda used to it by now but we had great fun trying to guess what kind of kink this card is talking about. While tarot is a solitary hobby, you will probably need to discuss something with others from time to time. So just hit my inbox, DM or email if you are not sure and we will find the perfect interpretation together!

I hope this short introduction can help at least some of you. You can always ask me about anything, I don’t really get squeamish when it comes to this. The worst thing that can happen with me is that I will tell you I don’t know something. I don’t really judge nor shame (unless your intention is to judge, shame or hate on someone) so you can always contact me.

Thank you for this interesting inquiry.

Best of luck reading on kinks and other sexual topics!

P.S. This is my personal approach to this, it’s in no way the only one or the right one. It’s mine and I can’t teach you something I don’t practise myself.

#oracle kleo #tarot #tarotblr #tarot blog #tarot beginner #tarot cards #tarot interpretation #tarot help #spicy content #tarot deck #tarot meanings #tarot messages #oracle cards

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uquizcollector · 11 months

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What does your path lead to? by Farvel

10 single choice questions

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romanceclub-lovers · 3 months

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Interview with author Aleksandra Remy

Questions for Aleksandra

❔Question: Which of all the men you have created could you imagine as your life partner?

🗨️Answer: Killian.

❔ Question: Do you have a favorite movie or TV series?

🗨️Answer: From TV series I always highlight Game of Thrones, from cinema I am highly likely to like everything with McConaughey, my favorite films contain a lot of works by Tarantino, Guy Ritchie or Nolan.

❔Question: As the visual lead screenwriter of the Garden of Eden story, you are aware of all the nuances of the visuals, plot, and development)

Do you have any favorites in this story? If you were the player, who would you lead a thread with?

🗨️Answer: Yes, I liked the last scenes with Jin Doo-yeong so much that I decided to choose a branch with him. Switched from Castiel...

❔ Question: Is it difficult to be the author of some of the most discussed and popular stories of the Romance Club?

🗨️Answer: I don’t know how difficult it is in a general sense, but it’s definitely more difficult than people think) There are many nuances here that will morally destroy an unprepared person. We must remember that any success has a second side to the coin. But if your nerves are strong, you can... get used to a lot of things.

❔ Question: How do you feel about various fandom theories? If the hypothesis turns out to be correct, does this make you happy as the author or, on the contrary, alarming, stimulating you to add even more ornateness and unexpected moments to the plot?

🗨️Answer: It’s good if the theory is close to correct. This means that the person correctly put together the pieces of the complete picture that I scattered throughout the plot, and I really like this. In general, any creativity, it seems to me, in one way or another pushes for reflection and reasoning, and that’s why I love it.

❔Question: Aleksandra, you are an active user of social networks, you often communicate with fans (for which a huge THANK YOU). Doesn't such active interaction with the fandom tire you? Or, on the contrary, does it give you strength and desire to write?

🗨️Answer: Sometimes it’s tiring, but it’s okay, it’s difficult for me to always be at the peak of social activity. Then I simply reduce the time I spend on social networks and crawl back into my introvert hole, where I mostly work and communicate little. I gain moral strength and something else, and return later.

Questions about the novels...

❔Question: How are names for heroes chosen?

🗨️Answer: Through a search and a list of names related to the country I need + melody, so that I myself like it and suit the hero. If the plot requires it, then I also select it by meaning. Most often I can’t name the heroine precisely because her name plays a plot role.

(And because I don't like writing in first person *laughing emoji* )

❔Question: Was the character of any of the characters taken from a real person? (maybe from an acquaintance or friend)

🗨️Answer: No, the main characters are more likely to have a drop of my character traits than others, so you can feel them better. But at the same time, each hero has his own unique character, background, etc.

If we talk about friends or acquaintances, then I can take someone’s experience as a reference. For example, the situation with Eva's childhood. This happened to someone close to me, with whom I empathize on all levels, and with her permission, I transformed her feelings and my artistic vision of the situation into this plot point. And it hurts me every time I write or think about this, but I also understand that such things are worth writing about, even necessary.

❔Question: You yourself, as the author, already know the ending of the stories. Can he change? Maybe depending on the reaction of the fandom or the opinion of the author himself may change?

🗨️Answer: I don’t think it’s possible to change the ending in any way. KCD ended exactly as I had planned in the early stages of developing the story, it will be the same with Nile, and with the prequel too.

❔Question: Why is there such a low threshold for choosing oneiromancy stats in "Song of the Crimson Nile"? Does this mean that there is a balance and it is possible to save up for all elections according to different stats? In addition, it was mentioned in the story that in very rare cases, shesmu have a predisposition to both directions of dark magic...

🗨️Answer: (*mysterious silence*) :)))

❔Question: How would you characterize Amen? Is he a positive hero or a negative one?

🗨️Answer: I think I have neither positive nor negative heroes, it's too boring. Even Livius himself has one or two not the best character traits, and this is normal. The same applies to Amen, there is both good and bad in him, because the world is not black and white. It's time for people to get used to it)

❔Question: What gave you the idea of using time skipping in KFS? Do you think this was a good move? Will this happen in other stories?

🗨️Answer: I don’t see anything terrible about the timeskip; it was necessary for Kali. Firstly, because of working with a large period of time (but in general, I noticed that in all my stories I work with several points in the timeline, the present and the past, to which we return), secondly, because the heroines of the first plan were too young, I wanted to show how carefree youth slipped through their fingers, forcing them to change, become smarter and more responsible in order to enter the game.

And girls now play dice not for wishes, but for human lives.

❔Question: Will the fate of Radha be revealed in the KFS, the future formation of Indira as the head of the Basu clan? Judging by the family tree, the eldest of the twins, besides Indira, did not have any more children, nor did she have a union with any other man except Radha.

🗨️Answer: Indira’s emergence as an heiress is too far from the events described, but Radha’s fate will be known to us.

❔Question: Are there plans for hidden endings in KFS and SCN? (Such as in KCD, where independent Amala mercilessly kills Amrit even in a branch with him)

🗨️Answer: I don’t know yet. Initially, those endings were just endings, I designated them hidden when I realized that to reach them you need not just stats, but a combination of choices. This is possible in both Nile and the prequel.

Questions from subscribers...

❔Question: One point is interesting. I began to notice that in all three stories the theme of connection, purpose, and truth runs through all three stories. I really like this theme in general, and especially how it manifests itself in your short stories. I wonder how this happens? Do you intentionally put such meaning into stories and relationships with your favorites, or does it come out naturally, intuitively?

🗨️Answer: I wouldn’t say that this is on purpose, because I myself really like this trope, and I’m not the only one. But still, I understand that there are certain similarities in all three stories. However:

Amrit's fiancée, Amala, is precisely his destiny, like fate, to be his ideal partner. Set treats Eva less poetically, she paid off the debt, and she is not the only one with him. But the romantic component of this connection will also be revealed. With Ram, everything is completely different, but I can’t give you the details ahead of time, you’ll find out for yourself.

❔Question: It became interesting, will there be any explanations or hints given as to what kind of traps await Evthys from Amen and how she can avoid them?

🗨️Answer: Amen's traps are the least of Eva's problems. I think you've already noticed that the plot is moving away from the hunt, and something worse is looming on the horizon.

According to my plans, we were introduced to hunting in the first season, and then we begin another plot block. It was fun to read the guesses about the endings involving capture and hunting. I thought: "Eh, guys... hunting is just the beginning."

❔Question: Choosing for diamonds with Ash (Set) in the latest update greatly affects romantic relationships? Is it possible to take this choice simply for the sake of his protection and patronage, leading a branch with another favorite?

🗨️Answer: All elections with Set are romance. You can improve your relationship with him in order to gain his favor, but up to a certain point. You will understand which one.

❔Question: Which story is easier for you to write? KFS or SCN?

Did you encounter any difficulties while creating the plot?

🗨️Answer: Both stories feel very different, sometimes there are difficulties with one, sometimes with the other. But in any case, I find an outlet in both short stories. They are fun to write.

❔Question: What 2-3 words or phrases or aphorisms could you describe each of your stories?

🗨️Answer: Kali: "Everyone has the same end" Nile: "When trouble comes, open the gates" prequel: " What goes around comes around"

❔Question: Is there a character in your short stories that you don’t like and irritate you, but without them the story wouldn’t have worked out?

🗨️Answer: They all piss me off sometimes.

❔Question: The thread with Gabriel in KCD... Was there one? Why was he so unfairly cut off or at least not given a choice where to save his life?

🗨️Answer: The thread with Gabriel is a sad misunderstanding, of course, he deserved a better fate, and at least one ending with him alive was worth doing.

❔Question: Where does such love for the frog come from in your tg channel?? When did it arise?

🗨️Answer: This frog is funny and absurd, like me, I feel a mental unity with it. Lately people have been telling me that I look like her. I don’t know whether to be happy or... what to do...

❔Question: Do you have qualities that you consider to be your shortcomings?

🗨️Answer: Yes, and a lot. If I can’t deal with them, I turn them into my advantage. For example, I am choleric, and sometimes it’s hard for me to restrain irritation or anger, and in general this cannot be restrained, honestly, I tried. So I convert them into energy for the gym and for work, use them as a charge boost or something like that. Otherwise I turn into a true psycho.

❔Question: Do you ever plan to write a book based on "Kali. Call of Darkness" and "Kali. Flame of Samsara", combining the events of these eras in one work?

🗨️Answer: I don’t think so. I don’t yet feel the desire to return to books, but this thing is very exciting, I have no doubts.

❔Question: What basic, main, qualities or character traits of Ash, Amen, Livius and Agnia could you name?

🗨️Answer:

Amen - devotion, loyalty.

Agnia - love of freedom.

Livius - kindness, warmth towards this world.

Set - spontaneity, trust in impulse, chaos.

❔Question: Aleksandra, would you like to have another pet besides a dog?

🗨️Answer: Not yet, I am as monogamous as possible in terms of pets, I like to love one to the maximum. All love to Hermes (her dog), I'm not even ready for a second dog.

❔Question: Aleksndra, thank you for agreeing to answer our questions! If possible, in conclusion we would like to ask you to say a few words to our subscribers who love your stories and are looking forward to their continuation and new short stories by you!. Thank you!

🗨️Answer: I would like to thank everyone for their support and interest in the stories, I am happy to try and work, knowing that I am doing this for you!

Source: 50 Shades of Romance Club

#romance club #romance club game #rc writers #song of the crimson nile #rc kali flame of samsara #rc kali call of darkness

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