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rolling-restart · 1 year

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desecration - part. 14

*** This is a NSFW fic with unhealthy relationship elements and graphic description of violence and sex. If it’s something you want to avoid or you are minor, please scroll past. ***

Status: incomplete

Tags and content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, angst, flashbacks, implied PTSD, implied mental illness, mentions of domestic abuse, difficult conversations, non-graphical description of abuse, distressing content in general.

Summary: Sebastian takes the initiative.

SINS OF DENIAL

Sebastian had a beautiful house. Daniel didn’t know what he expected but the not-so-modest size paired with pretty modest decoration somehow reflected Sebastian’s thought process throughout the years perfectly. He probably bought this house when he was still in his twenties, hungry for sparseness and luxury. With the passing of time, he became more tame, modest and simple in the best way possible. There were Mick’s belongings scattered around, too, which made the scenery much more homely. Even though Daniel had been incredibly tense, this place gave him a secondary comfort, originating from someone else’s unapologetic vulnerability of opening their house to one other.

They wrapped up the hiking trip a bit earlier than planned and went back to civilization that morning. Mick seemed disappointed when Sebastian announced that they are going to cut the trip short but didn’t protest. No one, including Daniel, had any idea what he was planning but he was herding them with a sense of urgency that no one dared to suggest otherwise.

After they made it to the house around breakfast time, Sebastian sent Mick to get breakfast for the three of them and locked himself in his office for a while. Mick was getting more and more concerned with Sebastian’s behaviour. Daniel knew those two were connected beyond comprehension but the way Mick was searching Sebastian’s face to understand what is bothering him and getting clumsier each moment without an answer somehow felt too intimate for Daniel to see.

When Mick came back from the store with breakfast ingredients, Sebastian was still at his office and Daniel was trying to busy himself by flipping the books on the TV table in the living room to pass time.

“Is he still there?”

Daniel nodded. It was obvious that Mick wasn’t used to Sebastian acting like this over anything. He looked like a kicked puppy when Sebastian slammed his office door after saying that he didn’t want to be disturbed for a while.

“You know what’s going on, don’t you?”

Daniel hesitated before answering. Mick wasn’t an idiot. He must have picked up the fact that the air changed right after Daniel spoke to Sebastian privately during the hike. He didn’t want to insult Mick’s perceptiveness but he also couldn’t answer Mick’s further questions. He already took a big risk by talking to Sebastian about it. Furthermore, the last thing he wanted to do was alter George’s image in Mick’s eyes just after they became teammates, in a way. George deserved better than his secrets being spilt in an unconstructive manner.

“I am not sure, Mick, I do but… I don’t. I know it sounds stupid.”

Mick shook his head and attempted to smile.

“Okay, it’s okay. Is there… anything I can do, at least?”

Daniel smiled genuinely for the first time in a while. Mick was confused but he could still understand the urgency and his first reaction was to offer his help. Daniel felt guilty for thinking that he and Sebastian might have wanted to hurt George in some way if they knew the truth.

“I don’t think so, mate, but thanks for offering.”

Mick nodded and started putting things away. Daniel didn’t want to watch and make him uncomfortable but he was the only moving thing in the huge living area.

Not long after Mick’s arrival, the office’s door swung open, instantly grabbing their attention.

“Daniel, you have all your belongings with you, right?”

Daniel looked at his huge hiking bag, discarded somewhere close to the doorway. He nodded.

“Great, can you please make a smaller bag, for, uhm, a two days trip? Do you have any summer clothes?”

Daniel wasn’t sure he was following.

“Summer what? Seb, what’s going on?”

Sebastian pinched his nose with impatience as if everything should’ve been obvious from what he just said.

“You and I are flying to Monaco shortly.”

Daniel didn’t know who looked more confused at Sebastian’s statement. Mick still had a piece of toast in hand, a butterknife in other and was looking at Sebastian, mouth gaped. Daniel knew he didn’t look any different.

“Seb, I don’t understand…”

“I’ll explain everything on the plane. Schatz, are you going to be okay for two days?”

Mick still looked very uncomfortable and uneasy but he nodded.

“I’ll get the dogs from your friend. We’ll be fine.”

Sebastian smiled warmly.

“I’ll explain everything when it’s time. Now we need to eat quickly, the flight is in five hours.”

—--------------------

They ended up in a small plane that somehow had a business section where they were finally alone. Daniel had been biting his nails since they took off from Switzerland. He ended up borrowing a couple of shirts and very practical-looking but equally ugly cargo shorts from Sebastian.

“I am very sorry that I planned all this without discussing it with you before, I had to think fast.”

Sebastian was sipping beer from a small bottle. He declined the offer because his stomach was already in knots with anticipation and he very much wanted to keep his breakfast down.

“It’s okay, mate, now are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?”

Sebastian took another sip while Daniel waited impatiently for an answer.

“We are going to visit some old friends.”

Daniel’s patience was running thin. His sigh must have alarmed Sebastian because he put the bottle on the drink holder on the side of his seat.

“We will pay a visit to Nico and Jenson.”

Daniel knew he demanded answers in the first place but Sebastian was leaving him with more questions every time he answered something.

“Uhm, why?”

“Okay, let’s try to start from the beginning,”

Sebastian stopped to run his hand through his beard to think. Daniel was still impatient but he was also concerned that he will end up with more questions than answers.

“Do you know why Nico retired in 2016?”

Daniel wasn’t sure if leaving himself to Sebastian’s choice of narration was a good idea but he decided to play along.

“I suppose… He got the championship, and he demanded more from the team. Mercedes declined his request to put him in the same place as Lewis. Then he said he wanted to spend some time for himself and his family. Right?”

Sebastian nodded.

“That’s what was said to the media. People even speculated that he couldn’t bear the mental pressure of challenging Lewis. But it was all a lie. I mean I don’t know if it was that stressful or not but it wasn’t why he retired.”

Daniel was confused. He knew the culture of conspiracy ran deeply in their sport but he always thought a glimpse of truth also surfaced with all those gossip. At the time, it was a big story and it didn’t seem realistic that they could get it so wrong.

“It wasn’t about Lewis?”

Sebastian shook his head.

“No, it was about Toto.”

Daniel’s confusion was suddenly tainted by the suspicion of something that he refused to chase.

“What?”

“They were together, for a long while. I think Toto chased him since he debuted in Williams. I didn’t care too much, I was fighting my own battles. But at some point, Jenson drew my attention to it. According to him, the guy was obsessed.”

Daniel opened his mouth to speak but stopped a second after. He wasn’t sure how much Sebastian wanted to reveal but he could ask clever questions to make it easier. And after all, it was Sebastian who started this wild goose chase, therefore Daniel could assume that he was willing to give some information.

“What do you mean ‘obsessed?’”

Sebastian reached for the bottle without thinking and took another sip.

“I don’t know first-hand because Nico and I were never close. I think he…He hated me for teaming up with Micheal. Their relationship was pretty tense when they were teammates and I was obviously closer to Micheal. But Jenson mentioned some things… that made me very uncomfortable. He said they had big fights very often and…”

Sebastian got closer to Daniel. Their section of the cabin was empty and he didn’t suspect someone could hear their conversation from behind the cabin crew curtain. Still, Sebastian chose to lower his voice.

“He said Toto would hurt Nico. Things that wouldn’t be seen in public. I knew he always wooed Nico and thought maybe he was exaggerating. But I saw glimpses of what he described. Some bruises here and there. Maybe some limping. Also, Nico would rarely socialise with his peers and towards the end, he got more explosive, more aggressive. Everyone attributed it to the competition between him and Lewis but I knew both of them. Lewis would never push someone over the edge with such cruelty. And they were friends once, I know he would never.”

Daniel found himself speechless. He hated to admit but the resemblances were unveiling themselves in front of his eyes one by one. George used to be best friends with Albon. Daniel would roll his eyes when he saw them together in the paddock because they had that glimpse of genuine friendship, something Daniel could only get close to with Max. Something far-fetched and dangerous for drivers of their kind. He also saw him with Lando, Nick and the youngsters in general until he did not. Everyone interpreted it as an intense focus on success with his move to Mercedes but Daniel had his doubts. Performance was a costly thing but leaving your connections with people behind was not healthy, and was possibly a sign of a self-facilitated downward spiral.

George became more aggressive towards his failures on track. He skipped parties, he skipped brunches to ‘catch up with sim data’ but Daniel wasn’t sure anymore. Completed with his aggressive behaviour towards Daniel’s help the last time he saw him, the once blurry picture was getting clearer.

“Coming to the end of his career, Nico became someone else, completely. He exercised to death and tried to lose weight and muscle obsessively. We barely saw him around the paddock and no one was hearing from him personally except for Jenson. He would always speak the half-truth about Nico but anyone could see how much it devastated him. He was drunk after one race, probably mid-2016 and he told me something I could never forget.”

Daniel held his breath. He didn’t remember when he had been this invested in a story before.

“What did he say?”

Sebastian scratched the back of his head, the heat of the conversation flushing his cheeks.

“I don’t… I’m not sure if it’s my place to tell you. But Jenson will never so I might as well.”

“Seb, please.”

It wasn’t even curiosity anymore on Daniel’s part. He was a detective, fighting for clues of this tangled mess in places that never occurred to him.

“He said… He said Toto was controlling Nico, like a puppet. Toto promised him a higher ground in the team; in return, Nico was happy to do anything he said. Even when these wishes… hurt him. Obviously, Nico believed that no one else would believe in him so he might as well take his chances. I didn’t understand at first, I thought it was some sort of sexual bribery but Jenson nearly punched me in the face when I voiced it. He was sure Toto was playing some mind games on Nico, using his insecurities and his half-mad image in the media. He claimed he hurt Nico, physically and forced him to… do things. I didn’t want to believe, because, you know, Nico was an easy-to-believe villain. Famous father, arrogant, beautiful, and rude. But then he showed some pictures on his phone.”

Daniel's mouth was dry. Suddenly, in his head, he was back at George’s place, helping him collect himself while trying not to look at his naked, battered body.

“I don’t want to give any details but it was bad, very bad. From that moment, I never suspected him. Long story short, Jenson somehow convinced Nico to leave. I don’t know how he did it. He always talked about how impossible it is to make Nico see but he managed. Nico never looked back. I don’t think he had enough fighting left in him to try and get Toto punished. And imagine, he would probably be publicly humiliated for admitting a such thing. He was never a person who would easily be regarded as a victim in people’s eyes. He just left. Jenson did too.”

Sebastian fell silent. Daniel had questions still but he needed all these to sink in first. George wasn’t Toto’s first victim. If he could do all those to someone with a considerable presence in motorsports and a legacy, Daniel didn’t want to know what he could do to George. He knew he only scratched the surface and he had to force himself to go further.

“How did you know George had something going on with Toto?”

Seb was looking at the back of the empty seat in front of him, eyes unfocused.

“Educated guess, I believe. I had an idea about what kind of a man Toto is and it wasn’t difficult to connect the dots with your ‘hypothetical’ questions. You had every right to get angry when you thought I knew what was going on with George. I am not going to say that I didn’t try to turn a blind eye to Nico’s problem but he had Jenson. And when you came to me, asking for help, I knew I couldn’t ignore it this time.

Daniel turned his eyes to the window next to him. Clouds were effortlessly flowing outside, beyond everyone’s reach. He wished he was a cloud too, somewhere nothing, no knowledge of any tragedy could touch him, maybe with George on his side.

“And what are we hoping to achieve by talking to them?”

Sebastian scoffed and turned his attention back to Daniel. It was almost like he was talking to the emptiness, confessing for the past couple of minutes. Daniel understood why it was difficult for him as well. The sin of turning a blind eye was catching up with him, with a different face.

“If we called them, Jenson would hang up on us, for sure. He has been very protective of Nico, especially since they got married. I don’t think he would be happy for us to open old wounds where Nico could hear us. Like this, if he doesn’t physically kick us out, we can make our case. Who knows, maybe Nico could even help us if he accepts to listen to us at all after we mention Toto. I thought… I thought it was worth a try.”

Daniel nodded solemnly. Nico and Jenson always intimidated him a little. His seniors while racing, behind an iron curtain of their marriage after a very small wedding he was only invited after someone cancelled. They were unknown and powerful in a covert way. Daniel didn’t want to upset anyone or trigger someone’s traumas.

But then, there was George. George with his eyes without the light of life in them, terrified George, beaten George, violated George. If there was any way Daniel could figure out how to help, he had to take the shot. And to his gratitude, Sebastian took the initiative to make it easier by feeding him the information he never hoped to get.

“Thank you, Seb, for this, for everything.”

Sebastian just nodded with a small smile and their section fell silent except for the rumble of the plane’s engines.

#desecration: gr/tw fic #nsfw.#just to be safe #sv #ms #dr #nr #jb #gr #tw: mentions of abuse #tw: mentions of sa #🚩

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luminnara · 3 years

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It’s Been a Long, Long Time | Ch 6

Summary: When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!

Part One | ... | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Tags: @kyrah-williams @oceanmermaidwitch @shawnie--jo @super-cape @ferxaniti @namjoonwatcheshentai @fandomsstolemylife00 @youngblood199456 @nightlygiggless @darlingely @ bluemoon-icecream @kaz11283 @jenjen8675309 @dollfacev8 @witchinpractice @mystical-b3ar @sukeraa

Bucky refused to leave the omega’s side while she stayed in the lab. Bruce had to stop him from trying to crawl onto the bed with her, and after about the third time, he convinced the super soldier to just pull up a chair like a civilized person and hold her hand while she drifted off to sleep again. Now that she was with her alpha, she had settled down for another nap, more interested in resting than answering any more questions so long as Bucky stayed and kept an eye on her.

Steve had to admit, it was endearing. He had never seen his friend so absolutely enraptured like this. Whenever the omega, or Ten, as Bruce was still calling her, shifted in her sleep, Bucky’s eyes were snapping over to make sure that she was okay. Whenever she let out a little whimper, he was purring and stroking her hair. Whenever she seemed like she might wake up again, his attention was completely on her.

“So...sure you don’t remember her?” Steve asked, pulling up a chair. He had left for a few hours to work out, and after a lack of updates from FRIDAY, he headed back down to check on everything. They were exactly as he had left them, which was a good sign. At least nothing was getting out of hand.

Yet.

Bucky shrugged, rubbing the back of the omega’s hand with his thumb. “I dunno. It’s...foggy.”

“Well, it seems to me like you’ve either got a history together, or she’s mistaking you for someone else.” Steve said. “Quite frankly, it’s hard to do the latter.”

“I’ve dreamt of her.” Bucky said quietly.

“...what?”

“It’s not much, but...I’ve seen her face.” Bucky looked down at her. “I think that no matter how many times HYDRA wiped my memory, she’s always been in there. Kinda like the one constant that was always around, the one thing I could always count on being in the base with me.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Steve asked.

“Never knew if she was real or not.” Bucky sighed. “I thought...maybe she was just something my mind made up to fill some of the gaps. But she smells exactly like I remember.”

Steve sat back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched his friend. Bucky wasn’t snarling anymore, most of his attention trained on the omega while she slept. Now that he was close to her, he had calmed down significantly, though he still wouldn’t let Steve within five feet of her bed.

“Just got off the phone with Tony,” Bruce announced, walking in. “He and Pepper will be back tonight. Pepper’s having some clothes and personal items delivered for our new omega friend here. They also asked about renovating a more permanent room for her, but I, uh...told them I wasn’t exactly sure what the situation would be.”

“She’s staying with me,” Bucky said immediately.

“Now hang on, hang on,” Steve leaned forward.

“Steve,” Bucky growled. “I want her with me.”

“Buck, you don’t even know her—“

Bucky interrupted him with a loud snarl, the omega in question whining and squirming in her sleep at the sound of it.

He immediately shut up, brushing a thumb over her cheek and shushing her until she was sleeping soundly again. Fuck, he felt so stupid. What was wrong with him? She could have woken up, or been scared, or upset, all because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. She needed her rest, and he needed to stay quiet.

Steve almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Oh, Buck,” he shook his head. “You’re in deep.”

—

Amoretta woke feeling well rested, and it wasn’t until she tried to stretch and felt the tug of her IV drip that she remembered where she was. Opening her eyes revealed the bright lights of the lab, and as she started to sit up, a few faces came into view.

“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty,” Bruce said. “How are you feelin’?”

She licked her lips. “Juice box. Now.”

“Way ahead of you. Had this one waiting as soon as you started waking up.” He tossed one to her and was pleased when her hand shot up to catch it. “Reflexes look good. Vitals are all reading normal. I’ll have to run another test to see what’s going on with those suppressants, but I’m willing to bet you’re metabolizing them fairly quickly now. How are you feeling?”

She pulled the little straw off the back of the carton and jammed it into the top. “Nauseous. Like usual.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Side effect of the suppressants?”

“Always has been. Other than that...I feel great, actually.”

“Well, as soon as these wear off, we can figure out something nicer and more modern for you. If you want to use them, I mean.” Bruce shrugged. “Your choice.”

She smiled. “Choice. I like that.”

“Hey, we’re all about independence here,” Steve said happily. He was glad to see she was awake, even though Bucky wasn’t.

The other alpha was still at her side, but, as of about half an hour ago, he was napping. Steve made a mental note to never let him forget the way he slept straight through the one moment he had been waiting for all day.

“What time is it?” She asked. “There’s no windows in this damn place.”

“Just after dinner,” Bruce chuckled. “You slept most of the day. Bucky hasn’t left your side.”

She looked over to her soldier, smiling warmly at the sight of him sleeping. He was even snoring softly. “I haven’t gotten to see this in forty years.”

“Did you two, uh…” Steve cleared his throat. “Spend a lot of time together?”

The omega laughed. “You always this awkward around girls?”

“That’s not—“

“Relax, I’m just giving you a hard time.” She sucked on her straw. “But...yeah, we did.”

“So...you were just kept for his ruts, or…” Steve was so awkward it was almost endearing. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I think.”

“It’s okay. I know my lot in life.” She kept her eyes trained on Bucky as she spoke. “But if I’m going to answer more questions, I want to get out of this bed. And I want real clothes. Then I’ll talk.”

And so, only several minutes later, Bruce was handing her a sweater and some shorts he had grabbed from a little stash of extra clothing, and Bucky was startled awake by Ten stepping past him. She was finally free from all the tubes and cords that had been sticking out of her during her little hospital stay, and she was all too eager now to explore the tower.

She stood on wobbly legs, almost falling onto him when she tried to take a step. Bucky was up in a flash, ready to catch her, and as she fell against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her. Despite just waking up, he felt fully alert, completely ready to tend to his omega’s every need.

His omega...he liked that train of thought.

“We can head up to the common area. It should still be quiet.” Steve said, leading the way out.

Bucky kept an arm around his omega’s waist as they followed, Bruce bringing up the rear. He wanted to be touching her at all times, constantly in contact so that he couldn’t lose track of her. His instincts were roaring to life, demanding that he do everything in his power to make sure that she was safe and in his line of sight. The elevator ride was tense and full of possessive growling, Bucky constantly shoving Ten behind him to keep her in the corner and as far away from Steve as possible, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when the doors slid open and they could step out of the cramped space again.

The common area was empty, thankfully, FRIDAY informing them that the other Avengers were all either working out or in their private quarters.

“Good,” Steve said, heading towards the couches. “No interruptions. Got it, FRIDAY?”

“Understood, Captain Rogers.”

“C’mere,” Bucky mumbled, pulling his omega down to sit on one of the couches with him. Part of him was feeling a little sheepish and self conscious of his behavior...but the rest of him didn’t give a shit. The others could stare and shake their heads all they wanted, but he’d be damned if he let Ten slip through his fingers again.

Or whatever her name was.

Steve and Bruce sat across from them, making sure that they left as much space as possible between themselves and the new omega. Neither of them had ever seen Bucky behaving quite like this--he was on guard, hyper aware of everything around him. He made sure that she was pressed up against his side, an arm draped possessively over the back of the couch so that it was unmistakable that she was with him.

Christ, what had gotten into him? He couldn’t remember ever acting this way about an omega before.

“So…” Steve cleared his throat, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees.

Bucky didn’t really like the way his posture made him lean forward towards his omega, but he could deal with it for now. “So.”

“What do you wanna know?” Ten asked, plucking at Bucky’s shirt. She seemed to be even clingier with him than he was with her, perfectly happy to be hanging off him or tucked up against his side. “You met my demands. I guess I’m an open book now.”

“I don’t want to overstep my bounds,” Steve said. “We just need to know as much as you’re willing to share.”

“Then ask a question.”

“...Alright.” he cleared his throat again. “You said HYDRA used you to help with Bucky’s ruts?”

Ten nodded, her expression remaining even and cool.

“Could you tell us more about that?” Steve glanced at Bucky. “Were there ever any other omegas, or anyone we should know about?”

“There were omegas before me.” she answered. “When I first got to the compound, there were a lot of us. They kept us all in big cells, so everyone talked. People said things about how HYDRA was grabbing omegas off the street for their super soldiers, and how the one at our base was the biggest and scariest.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at her tone. He wasn’t exactly sure what he expected her to sound like while she regaled them with her life story, but he definitely thought there would be a tad bit more apprehension in her voice. She seemed proud of herself, and more matter-of-fact than a lot of omegas would be while talking about their alpha’s previous partners. Or...whatever you called prisoners whose only purpose was to help during ruts.

“And I bet he was,” she sighed, leaning her cheek on Bucky’s chest and looking up at him adoringly.

“Well, I don’t know about that…” Bucky said, an almost shy smile on his lips. And...was he actually blushing?

Steve was going to lose his mind.

“You said the other omegas couldn’t handle it? That’s why you were given the serum?” he prompted, trying to keep them on track before he drowned in the sticky sweetness of her happy pheromones.

“Right.” she turned her attention back to Steve and Bucky let out a quiet huff. “HYDRA didn’t really like to take care of us. And the soldier--I mean, Bucky--would wear them out. So...HYDRA would just kind of let them go. Or put them down, maybe. I never saw it.”

Bucky’s expression dropped. His blush was gone, and he almost looked like he was going to be sick as he listened to her talk.

“But it wasn’t his fault,” she said quickly, glancing between him and Steve. “I don’t think it was ever on purpose, you were just...demanding.”

He gave a groan, leaning his head back against the couch. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, doll. I’d rather know what I did, at this point.”

She offered a small shrug. “I don’t really remember it being that bad, but I don’t think I ever met you before they gave me the serum.”

“That’s something, at least.” he mumbled, dragging a hand down his face.

“Why you?” Steve asked. “Did you have any prior military experience, any ties to something the others didn’t?”

“No.” she laughed. “I never even got in fights before HYDRA.”

“Then why’d they use such an important resource on you, specifically? Not trying to take a dig at you, it’s just...well, omegas don’t usually…”

“I know,” she said. “Omegas aren’t supposed to be tough, right? That’s why they only ever let alphas become super soldiers.”

“That’s not what I…” Steve trailed off and then sighed. “Sorry.”

“I told you, they gave me the serum so that I would be strong enough to hold my own. It also ensured I would always be around, no matter how many years passed.” Her fingers found Bucky’s free hand and she took it, absentmindedly playing with the smooth vibranium knuckles. “Having me as a constant meant they could stop spending so much time and effort on always having a new omega around for him. Plus…well, I wasn’t really there, but I heard something about it once…”

“What?” Bucky asked.

“They let you choose who was going to become your omega.” She said, looking up at him. “They gave you a bunch of scents, and you chose mine. I guess it was the only reason they didn’t, uh...humanely euthanize me.”

His eyes were wide. The thought of HYDRA killing his omega brought a low growl to his throat, his chest rumbling with the vibrations of it. “No.”

“Well, clearly they didn’t!” She said brightly. “My file said I was a kicker.”

“So they gave you, an already aggressive omega, the serum, but never gave you any trigger words or fished around in your brain?” Bruce shook his head. “Surprisingly sloppy, considering who they are.”

“It’s not like they ever sent me out into the world. I stayed in my cell all day, unless I was needed for a rut. Then I went and stayed in a different cell.” She sighed. “And if they ever needed to, they could just use the alpha to grab me.”

Bucky clearly didn’t like the thought of that. He made a frustrated sound, leaning his head back again. “Great.”

“It was never bad.” She let go of his hand, moving her fingers to cup his jaw. “You never hurt me. You wouldn’t. Sometimes, when I acted up, they would make you go retrieve me, because they knew you were the only one who could do it. If they didn’t send you, they would just knock me out.”

“So...that was it?” Steve asked. “Ruts, serum, cryo?”

“For thirty years!” She chirped. “The last time they froze me, they were freezing him, too. They always tried to keep us in cryo at the same time so that I could be thawed out and ready when he needed me. But...I guess they just...left me there?” She frowned.

“See, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.” Steve said. “I didn’t see any signs of a struggle at that base. I’d say they left in an orderly fashion, but the fact that they didn’t take you along makes me think they were in more of a hurry than they made it seem.”

“Natasha might have a better idea,” Bruce suggested. “We can talk to her, try to figure out—“

“FRIDAY, open the damn door or so help me God I will rewrite your entire personality.” A voice interrupted from the other side of the door.

“I’m sorry, Tony, but Captain Rogers asked me not to.” The AI said.

“Well, is it an emergency?” The man scoffed.

“No emergency measures have been executed. No security breaches have been identified.”

“Then I’m sorry, but Captain Rogers does not outrank me when it comes to my own robots. Open the door, beautiful.”

She seemed to sigh. “Very well, Mr. Stark.”

Ten perked up, leaning forward slightly. She was watching the door curiously, tilting her head a little when she heard it slide open. Bucky rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself quietly and pulling her up against his side as another alpha strode in.

“Really? Having a party without me?” the man asked, a smooth, casual air about him as he walked in and looked at everyone on the couches. When his eyes landed on the omega cuddled up next to Bucky, he stopped. “Ah, is this our new guest?”

“Go away, Stark.” Bucky growled. He didn’t like how long the other man’s gaze was lingering on his omega, not when there weren’t any scars on her neck to show who she belonged to.

“Always such a charmer, Barnes.” Tony said, flopping down next to Steve. “Lovely to see you, too. Care to introduce me to your friend? ….No, you’d rather just snarl and forget your words? I knew you were old, but I didn’t realize you were actually a caveman.”

“Tony,” Bruce groaned. “Don’t aggravate him. Please.”

“Why not?” Tony leaned back against the cushions, completely at ease and totally happy to be pressing every one of Bucky’s buttons.

“Are you Tony Stark?” Ten asked, wiggling out of Bucky’s grip to sit on the edge of their couch.

Bucky caught her around the waist before she could get very far, though, and dragged her onto his lap. He loomed over her, sneering dangerously at Tony as the other alpha flashed a smile.

“Bingo.” he said.

“I never thought I’d meet a Stark,” she admitted. “I always heard about Stark Industries, but I lived too far away from any big cities to ever get to see any of his exhibitions.”

“Ah. You’re from my father’s time. Of course.” Tony shot a pointed glare in Bucky’s direction. “Seems like Bruce left out a few teensy weensy important details on the phone today.”

“Well, it’s been, uh...an ongoing learning experience.” Bruce said sheepishly.

“Lots of developments, huh?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“You could say that.” Steve said under his breath. “We came up here so Ten could be more comfortable while we talk.”

“Oh yeah? What’re we talkin’ about?” Tony asked.

“They were asking about my time with HYDRA,” she answered, cutting in before anyone else could. “And with...Bucky.”

Saying his name felt odd. Her tongue wasn’t used to it, and her mind wanted to call him alpha, or Winter Soldier. Bucky just seemed so…casual, such a strange thing to call a deadly super soldier. When she heard herself, though, she decided that she definitely didn’t hate it.

Bucky’s heart gave a little leap at the sound of his name falling from her lips. He wanted her to say it over and over again, in whispers and in screams, for nobody else’s ears but his.

“...Buck?” Steve asked, pulling him away from his thoughts. “You, uh, kinda zoned out there.”

It wasn’t until Bucky looked at Steve that he realized his eyes had been trained on the omega in his lap. “Yeah?”

“...Is this seriously how you’ve spent the past day and a half?” Tony asked. “Steve, I’m sorry, and I’m sure you’re just trying to be as helpful as you can be, like always, but I think you should let these two get a room.”

Steve looked at him incredulously. “Tony, really? I’m trying to get to the bottom of why exactly HYDRA would abandon the omega they pumped full of super soldier serum. They can get a room later—“

“Yeah, uh, wonder boy? I don’t think your pal is gonna last much longer before he tries to rip our heads off.” Tony nodded towards a very disgruntled Bucky. “You can resume your interrogation tomorrow, Cap.”

Steve looked to Bruce for help, but he only offered a small shrug and stood, heading towards the door. “He’s right, Steve. They deserve some alone time.”

“But—hey!” Steve protested as Bucky picked his omega up, striding past the two alphas sitting on the opposite couch.

“Thanks for everything, Steve.” Bucky said over his shoulder.

Ten squirmed, peeking around Bucky’s arm as she was carried away. “Bye, Mr. Stark!”

“Don’t look at him,” Bucky growled as they walked out the door.

“Did his father really make hoverboards? I heard once that Howard was promising hoverboards—“

“No.” He said flatly.

“...oh.” She huffed, slumping against him. “Where are we going?”

“My apartment.” Bucky stepped into the elevator, his grip still tight around her.

The omega perked up. “You have a whole apartment?”

He puffed his chest out a little. “Course I do. Gotta have a nice place for you, don’t I?”

“So I can stay?” Her eyes were bright and happy. “I can stay there, with you, all the time? Not just when you rut?”

He felt a sad little pang in his heart. When he spoke again, his voice was low and soft. “Of course, sweetheart.”

Then, his eyes widened as he realized what he was saying. “I mean, uh...i-if you want to, that is. I know it’s fast and all, and maybe...would you rather have your own room? Or I can stay on the couch—“

“Bucky,” she cut him off with a laugh, a soft hand cupping his jaw. “You’ve been my alpha for seventy years. I’d say we’re actually moving pretty slow.”

His expression relaxed again, lips stretching into a small smile. “Right. Yeah. You’re right.”

They spent the rest of the elevator ride in comfortable silence, Bucky rubbing his scent glands all over her hair. He wanted to make sure that the next time they encountered anyone else, she smelled exactly like him.

Like her alpha.

When the elevator came to a gentle stop at Bucky’s floor, the doors opened, and he stepped out in front of his apartment door. It opened for him, having already scanned his biometrics, revealing a small, but cozy, living room.

He set his omega down on her feet, watching anxiously as she stepped into his quarters. Did she like it? Fuck, was it too small? It was too small. She probably hated it. Fuck, fuck, fuck...he had to salvage this somehow.

“Well, uh…” shit, he sounded too nervous. He wanted her to think he was a strong, capable alpha.

He cleared his throat for another start. “Welcome home, Omega.”

Wait. That wasn’t right. Should he be calling her that? No, probably not, it sounded too possessive, too uncaring. He wished he just knew her fucking name, or something.

“I mean…Ten?”

Shit, he sounded so stupid. He wanted to impress her, not...do whatever this was.

She just laughed, though, turning and looking at him with those eyes that sparkled like starlight. “Amoretta. My name is Amoretta.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x oc #abo #omegaverse #alpha bucky #alpha bucky barnes #it's been a long long time #avengers x reader #avengers x oc

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randomgamefan · 3 years

Text

Hello Inscryption fans it's me, an Inscryption fan!!

This fandom is still pretty new, but uh

Stupid writers gotta be stupid writers, so i have something for you all! Its the first part/chapter of a fic!

It's an AU, but real quick we just gonna say the entire games gonna be spoiled here, so if you haven't finished Inscryption, please do so before reading this.

Also might post this on a03 if y'all like it? I know my own follower base is p small but hey, uh, why not? Also, for those of you on computers, I'm sorry if the formatting is wack, I'm on mobile.

Also I'm calling this AU playtester AU for a reason you will all see later.

Currently tw for: swearing

Okay!! I'll stop rambling, here's the fic!

[Recovery process initiated]

Luke's head had never hurt this bad before. He could probably count the number of major injuries he had in his life on one hand, so there wasn't much competition, but this was definitely the worst pain he'd ever been in.

The pressure seemed to push on his eyes, somehow, like the aching pain bouncing around his skull was pushing out everything in its way of escape. He put the palm of his hands against his eyes, rubbing until the pain behind them dissipated enough to put his hand on his forehead, blinking away the static-like spots that clouded his vision, his headache fading slowly.

Which, unfortunately, brought Luke to another question - where the fuck was he? As his eyes adjusted to the low light, he could tell there were trees around him, though it wasn't a part of the forest he was familiar with. They seemed to have a pattern, a subtle rhythm to the woods that only fueled his headache. Worse than that, though, was the darkness, stretching around him.

Luke staggered to his feet, hoping to see his beloved camera around him - no dice. He was quick to turn to his pockets, but found them empty. Letting out a heavy sigh, he muttered to dead air "great, well this is just incredible. Guess I'm going to run into a bear out here and die or something."

His words, of course, garnered no response, but with enough talking to a camera, that's something you get used to. Without any idea where he was going, Luke set off, trying to search his scraps of memory to figure out how the hell he could have gotten this deep into the woods.

It had been last night he had finished Inscryption the game, watching the game files delete them in front of his face. He expected most people would call bullshit, but he had the entire thing recorded on his camera. Luke had every intention on putting the entire playthrough everywhere, as well as suing the hell out of GameFuna. There was something wrong with that game, sure, but knocking on his door day after day? Breaking into his house? What the hell kind of company does that, on top of having a game that openly controlled your computer?!? He would make sure it all went public, and..

Luke was startled out of his thoughts by the loud cracking of a stick breaking under his shoes. His head snapped upwards, and he could see the clear outline of a path in the woods. It stretched out quite far, but at the end, he could see the light shining from a small cabin. Finally, some hint of civilization, took long enough. Luke was just about ready to put a call into the police department, get home, and get something done to these fucking people at GameFuna.

The trail stretched much longer than it originally looked as he walked it, the creatures of the forest buzzing and calling in the night. The sounds felt familiar and safe, and Luke found the melody of the forest soothing him as he tried to offset the strange, building feeling that he'd seen this cabin somewhere before. And yet, the more he stared, the more Luke knew he'd never been to this part of the woods, and he'd never faced a cabin such as this himself. At least, outside of horror movies and games, it was quite stereotypical looking in that sense.

Finally, after what seemed to be far too long, he reached the front of the cabin. To the left, he could see a small river trickling through the land, a stone bridge reaching over. To the right, he could see a path leading to a lake, the moon reflecting off the watery surface.

The cabin itself wasn't much to look at, worn down wood stretching around the exterior, with old fashioned curtains blocking his view of the inside. A chimney reached into the sky, nothing billowing out of it. The door was as old and wooden as the rest of the cabin, and he worried that knocking itself might damage the old thing. However, Luke's desire to go home was greater than that of preserving an old door, so he reached his hand up to knock anyways.

...

No one replied. After a couple of seconds, he tried again, calling, "hello?" Into the night. Once again, no one responded.

Luke sighed. "Oh, shit.. come on, someone answer the door." He growled at no one, trying once again to knock. No reply to his knocks came, though. And after a few minutes, Luke knew that for the time being, at least, he was stuck out here.

"Might as well make the most of it." He muttered to dead air, heading to the small stream on the left, wondering if there could possibly be anything worth checking out in the area. However, he didn't get far before a loud growl froze him in place.

To his right, a mangy mutt glared at Luke, teeth bared. It's growl was low, full of anger and intent. Without a doubt, this thing could tear Luke apart.

"Now, now puppy.." he didn't appreciate how his voice shook, stepping backwards. "It's okay,, I'm not here to hurt you, hey.." His words only caused the hound to let out an ear splitting, guttural bark, Luke defensively raising his arms to block an attack.

"Damn gunnit you old mutt, down!" A voice called, a thud sounding not far from Luke's feet. Opening one eye, he could see the dog was now contently munching on a bone, an angry looking man with a pickaxe storming towards the pair. Luke stepped back, taking a bit of a defensive stance as this man carried something that could definitely split Luke's head open, despite the man's smaller stature.

"Now, what are ye doin' here?" The other man raised the butt his pickaxe to Luke's face. "Ye don't look like a challenger!"

Oh, this was probably the cabin owner.. that made more sense. Luke let out a small sign of relief.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to trespass, I'm just lost. Would you happen to have a phone I could use to call for some help?"

He shook his head with a chuckle. "This place ain't mine, but If I were ye, I wouldn't rely on Leshy bein' awake! Sleeps like a rock!"

Luke felt his heart skip a beat, trying to rationalize what he'd just heard. It was probably nothing, he had to be logical.

"Well, uh, do you happen to have a phone, or know a way into the cabin."

"Oh, door's unlocked!" The man replied with a chuckle. "Jus walk right in, he won't mind!"

Luke nodded. Though breaking and entering wasn't a personal passtime of his, guess you've gotta adopt new hobbies every now and again.

"I see, thank you." Luke tried to keep his tone even, despite his heart beating out of his chest. "I'll be doing that now."

The other man nodded. "If 'e complains, jus say the prospector let ya inside!" And with that, the prospector walked off.

That did not help Luke's heart rate.

The door creaked on old hinges as Luke quietly swung it open. The interior of the cabin wasn't well lit, and Luke found himself wishing once again he had woken up with a flashlight.

A small candlestick was by the door, only one candle on its two prongs lit. Luke took it in his hand, admittedly afraid of surveying the room. However, a grunting sound alerted him to the figure in the corner before he even had a chance to look around.

The candlestick slipped from Luke's fingers.

Staring back at Luke were two spiraling pupils, eyes incomplete and enticing at the same time. It felt like all time froze, Luke's feet glued in place as the candlestick fell to the floor with a loud clang, extinguishing itself.

Neither spoke for what felt like hours, until finally Luke found his voice once again.

"You aren't real." Was the only thing that came into his head. This couldn't be real, not in a million years. And yet, those familiar eyes stared back at him.

That seemed to get a laugh out of the old photographer, a bit of a broken one. "I'm quite real, as far as I'm concerned. Are you?"

Luke felt a weight on his chest seemingly lift, and he laughed. This situation was ridiculous, impossible, unfathomable. And yet, the eyes on him didn't waver, and didn't laugh along.

"I'm not sure anymore, honestly. Man, what the *fuck*?!" The answer was honest, a bit brutally so. Luke felt tears tugging at his eyes, his mind begging for a logical explanation to why he was facing a character he'd seen in the game he'd dug up in the ground, the game that took over his PC, the game that knew his name, the horrible, cursed disk.

Leshy didn't have a response to his laughter, rather, when Luke was done laughing, he spoke up with an invitation.

"Would you like to play a game?"

Luke wiped the tears forming at his eyes.

"You know, why the hell not?"

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saintshigaraki · 3 years

Text

won’t you give me your cruelest smile

↳ DARK ACADEMIA TSUKISHIMA KEI

pairing: tsukishima kei x gn!reader

word count: 1.4k

excerpt:

He makes no move to get up as he watches you pack. “You really don’t like me, do you?” He sounds far too pleased for your liking.

“No one likes you,” you snap back, stuffing the last heavy tome in your bag and shouldering it. “You’re an ass.”

a/n: @yamagucji said dark academia tsukki and my brain quite literally short circuited

tags: enemies-ish to lovers (more like academic rivals to lovers), tsukki being an annoyingly smart condescending history major, reader goes through the five stages of grief when they realize they might actually li- 🤢 like him, a reference to the classic ‘ooooh you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid’

If there is a single, minuscule, barely visible silver lining in having Tsukishima as a partner for your quarter project it is that, without a doubt, he is smart.

You have to admit, begrudgingly, that his intellect borders on genius-level which is something you use as silent proof to attest to your working theory that there is in fact, no god, or at the very least not a kind one, because if there was they wouldn’t be blessing gremlins like the one sitting across from you with a gift like that.

He’s quiet now (after about an hour of telling you all the ways your interpretation was oh so very wrong) and content to stare at you lazily, his eyes half-lidded and filled with his specific brand of cruel amusement that leaves you wanting to do nothing more than smack his black-rimmed glasses right off his smug face.

You take a deep breath and try desperately to quell the utterly unique type of rage he elicits in you, although as always, nothing you do ever quite manages to bring your boiling blood to a simmer.

He’s twirling his expensive black pen between his stupidly long fingers. Every once in a while the light catches on the onyx stone of his pinky ring which somehow manages to flash directly in your eyes every time. He notices, of course. He notices everything. Which makes you think he’s doing it on purpose just to be an ass.

Which, admittedly, is perfectly in line with everything else he does so, you come to the frustrating conclusion that he most definitely is doing it on purpose.

“You’re embarrassingly easy to rile up,” he says, interrupting your silent seething, his voice deep and smooth and absolutely dripping with condescending satisfaction.

Your eyes flash up from the book you’d been only barely processing just to be met with his own golden-brown ones. He’s smirking down at you, of course. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him wear any other sort of expression.

You want nothing more than to glare at him but that would just be proving his point so instead, you snap your book shut. It rings out loudly in the empty library.

“It’s late. Let’s start this backup tomorrow.”

He makes no move to get up as he watches you pack. “You really don’t like me, do you?” he sounds far too pleased for your liking.

“No one likes you,” you snap back, stuffing the last heavy tome in your bag and shouldering it. “You’re an ass.”

He tilts his head back, exposing his long neck, and laughs. It’s so deep you feel it in your own chest. You just barely manage to suppress a shiver, which thank fuck, because he would’ve most definitely noticed it and you don’t think you’d be able to live that down.

You make your way towards the front doors but not before he manages to slip on his wool coat and catch up to you, with ease of course, his long legs have become your number one enemy over the quarter because he always, always, catches up with you when you try to speed walk away from him.

The autumn chill immediately settles into your bones, your skin prickles unpleasantly. You can see your breath in the night air. A shitty end to a shit day.

You both head down the cobbled street in strangely comfortable silence. He’s close enough that you can feel the heat he radiates and you’re silently thankful for it.

You get to the fork in the path where he takes his way back to his dorm and you take yours but instead of peeling off left like he usually does he sticks to your side.

You stop immediately and eye him up warily. “What are you doing?”

He rolls his eyes. “Asking idiotic questions doesn’t really suit you, you know.”

You say nothing, content to narrow your eyes.

He rolls his eyes again and lets out a long-suffering sigh. “I’m walking you home, try not to be a brat about it.”

“You never walk me home,” you point out, suspiciously.

“You are rather good at pointing out the very obvious, aren’t you?” and before you can respond he already had turned on his heels and started walking. You have to half jog to catch up.

You watch him out of the corner of your eye with the intent of trying to read his motive but you get stuck on the fact that his cheeks are flushed rather prettily from the cold.

“You sure do love to stare, don’t you?” he asks rather conversationally.

You’ve never wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole more in your entire life. Your cheeks burn hot even in the frigid cold.

He notices. Of course he does. What does Tsukishima Kei not notice?

“No need to be embarrassed,” he needles cruelly. “Denial can be a brutal beast.”

You only barely manage to stop yourself from asking what exactly he means by that, what exactly he thinks you’re in denial about.

But you know he wants nothing more than for you to ask so you take a sweet sort of satisfaction in not questioning him further, at least on that front.

The rest of the walk back to your dorm is spent in less comfortable silence than before. There’s an odd sort of tension in the air, like a rope pulled so tight you can physically feel it starting to fray, getting ready to snap.

It comes to a head when, after getting to your building, instead of immediately going inside you find yourself looking down and shuffling your feet.

You know you should thank him, even if you didn’t ask him to walk you home. You guys never worked this late, you’d lost track of time (it’s scarily easy to lose track of time when arguing with Tsukishima) and you know it was nice of him to walk you home when he’d have to double back another 15 minutes in the freezing cold to get to his place.

You know you should thank him. It’s the reasonable, polite thing to do. But it’s just so fucking hard to be reasonable and polite when Tsukishima Kei and his galaxy-sized ego are involved. No one in your entire life has been able to get under your skin as he has. It’s like he was perfectly crafted to be your own personal headache.

You brave a glance up at him and find that he’s standing very, very close and staring, rather intensely, at you. A curiously amused gleam in his eye.

Your mind stutters and then stops completely, going painfully blank.

He’s so stupidly pretty.

His skin is flawless, you’ve never once seen him with even a single pimple, his hair is the nicest pale-blond you’ve ever seen and it falls in perfect tufts against his forehead, but it’s his eyes that always make you shift from foot to foot. They’re such a unique shade of golden-brown, and now, shrouded in the dark and mere inches away from your own face, you’d swear on your life they were practically glowing.

“You’ve got something on your mind?” he asks, his tone anything but sweet. He’s so close you can smell the warm spice of his cologne and the ever-clinging scent of ancient books that seems to follow him wherever he goes.

“I-” but you can’t seem to put together a coherent sentence. You don’t think you’ve ever hated someone so much in your life.

Somehow, he’s managed to push in even closer. “You know what I think?”

No, you want to say, and I don’t want to know. Your heart is beating far too fast and you can’t explain why.

(You know exactly why)

“I think you want to kiss me.”

And just like that the rope snaps and you’re viciously tugging him down by the collar of his too-nice coat so you can smash your lips against his.

The kiss is brutal. Far too mean with too much teeth. At one point you taste the sting of iron and you can’t tell if the blood is his or yours.

He backs you up against a wall without breaking the kiss. When he bites at your lip, no doubt cutting it open, you grab a fist full of his hair and tug cruelly and his responding groan tastes so sweet on your tongue.

He doesn’t pull away until your lungs are screaming for air.

He’s inches away from you, pupils blown wide, lips swollen (and a little bloody), and his hair is a mess. It’s the most out of sorts you’ve ever seen him.

If you thought he was pretty before, he’s absolutely beautiful now.

His smirk widens into a full blown smile and you understand now why he doesn’t show it often. It shows too many teeth, it’s downright wolfish. Predatory, even.

You don’t really have time to think on it though before he pulls you into another bruising kiss.

have some dark academia tsukishima headcanons while you’re here

he is without a doubt the most pretentious asshole you will ever meet and and you will HATE yourself for eventually finding him weirdly charming in any capacity

he is, of course, a history major which. if you have ever met pretentious male history majors you will know that this means he is a literal walking, talking, annoyingly tall headache

interrupts professors constantly. does it like he’s getting paid. will argue and argue and argue with them without that dumb condescending smirk ever, ever managing to slip off his face

(the worst part is, he’s honestly probably making a good point most of the time. but you’d quite literally rather die than admit that to him)

he is always walking around campus lazily flipping through leather bound books so old they’re cracked precariously at their spines, all on different ancient civilizations. you’d think that’d mean he’d be running into people but the student body collectively parts like the red sea for him which sets your teeth on edge.

he’s unbelievably arrogant and the worst part is its not baseless like you find yourself so desperately wishing it was

he IS smart, wickedly so. disgustingly, cruelly intelligent and he will use it to pick you apart piece by piece while that stupid fucking smirk stays glued on his face.

(you start to seriously question whether or not he’s even human because how can anyone keep the same, perfectly calculated expression for that long?)

always looks like he stepped straight out of some dark alternate universe vogue photoshoot with his constant rotation of black turtlenecks, long coats, and oxford loafers all tied together by the same 5 rings he’s never seen without, two of which are set with hefty onyx stones

you will be unlucky enough to be paired up with him for a project that will take all quarter long and multiple meet ups a week. when your professor announced your partner, you genuinely consider dropping the class and when you find out you wouldn’t be able to drop the class without switching majors, you genuinely consider switching majors

you don’t. and by the end of the quarter you’re really starting to question whether that was a good thing or not

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq!!#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #hq #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x you #tsukishima imagine #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenarios #tsukishima scenarios #you think thats enough tags lmaoooo #vicwrites #vicwriteshq

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curiousfindings · 3 years

Text

We are with you till the end of the line

Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan x Teen!Reader

[Warnings: Rape, Talk of sex, Swearing, OOC Chris for a bit, Arguing, Panic attacks, Hospitals]

!!This is pretty loaded so please don't read this if your not comfortable with the certain subjects, the last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable, if you need anyone to reach out to just pop me a quick message, I would never mind having a chat or you just ranting to me, i’m always there for u!!

┍━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┑

You knew they wouldn't mind, they were like brothers after all, constantly looking out for you even in the most inconvenient of times. Yet the one time, they weren't there. Its not like you needed them, but you did and you always tried to convince yourself that you were a strong female figure but there was that part of you that turned completely towards the strong male figures you had in your life. Chris, Anthony and Sebastian.

Too elaborate, you first met the triplet when you were 15, you had auditioned for the role of the teenage heroine, Erin Kelsey, a young girl who proves her courage to The Avengers with her virtuosic karate skills. They loved you and you got the part much to your dismay. You were taken under the wing of Anthony Mackie straight away, he told you that he saw something in you. Scarlett was the first cast member you met though and she will always hold a special place in your heart as the girl who made you comfortable with the whole marvel cast.

Your character was introduced in Age of Ultron as a teenage Slovakian girl who had been spotted jumping from rooftop to rooftop, it was incredibly fun to film. Then in Civil War, your character developed massively which brought you closer to the men. Not only were they like big brothers to you but they gave you the best advice in life, anything you needed help with, they were there, 24/7. You had many talks and lectures about things you already knew about but they insisted they were older and knew what was best, they also said that they didnt want you doing stupid things like they used to do, whatever that is supposed to mean.

They check up on you constantly, always asking you to message them when you get home, or back to your trailer, or the hair and makeup truck, the canteen, the toilet, anywhere they needed to know. It was their responsibility if anything happened to you, of course it wasn't actually but they made it so it was that way, knowing that you were young and needed that guidance. This was because when you started filming Civil War you were deemed old enough to do it all on your own, you were fending for yourself since you were turning 17 soon.

You attended a college near by and went there twice a week, the rest of the time you did online school in-between takes and in breaks. Your time in college introduced you to a person, I know, cliche but they were really nice. Long story short, you two started dating, their name was Alex. Your grades dropped and you stopped seeing the three men due to the amount of time you were spending with Alex but spending time with Alex was like second nature but not to your will, they told you that you had to see them everyday and call them whenever you got the chance, this was controlling if you had ever seen it.

You had plenty of time to tell them about Chris, Sebastian and Anthony and soon they had enough of you talking so highly about them and got jealous, this is when they started making advances on you, also against your will. They would start to touch you and when you would say no they would continue, you threatened to leave them but they made even bigger threats, to tell Chris, Seb and Mackie that you didn’t need them anymore, they went into detail about what they would tell them, it was graphic, things that you were doing whilst you were supposed to be hanging out with them, sexual acts...

They of course, didn't know about your partner and this was for a reason, you know they would be against the idea and you defiantly couldn't risk anything but they were adamant of working out why you were so absent.

“Can we all agree that Y/n has been distant lately?” Sebastian spoke after walking into the hair and makeup trailer to find Anthony and Chris being dolled up.

Anthony sighed, straight away knowing what he meant.

“I know man, its like she doesn't love us anymore,” He fake pouted which made Chris laugh. “Seriously though, do you know where she’s been?”

Both men stayed quiet.

“Every time I ask her where she is going she just says ‘out’” Sebastian adds with a shrug.

“And she never messages us updates anymore, it worries me frankly,” Chris frowns at the thought.

“She told me she went to the park to do some homework without distractions and came back with a new hoodie and a massive smile on her face” Anthony furrows his brows. “Like, how does that make sense? Why would you be that happy after doing homework?” He flared his harms around and huffs.

“But around us her mood has changed, have you noticed she's been so distant and cold to us?” Sebastian added.

The silence is broken by the makeup lady sniggering which immediately turned all other heads in the room.

“Whatchu laughing at lady?” Anthonys face was pure confusion, how could this matter be funny and as for Chris and Sebastian, their faces were a mix between caution and anger.

“Sounds like Y/n might have a boyfriend or girlfriend,” She stated plainly, not even looking up from Sebastians roots.

A short impetuous laugh came from Anthony’s throat in disbelief.

“Isn't it obvious? She wants to hide it from you guys” All men froze at this statement with heads overflowing with thoughts that questioned the lady. Why would she feel she had to hide it from us? Why wouldn't she tell us? Why does she have to hide it from us? That last question threw the men into gear.

“We need to ask her,” Chris finally spoke up. “If this is true, we need to see whats happening,” Chris was worried, he had a bad feeling. He stood up and left the makeup chair abruptly. All you could hear were the sound of rushed movements onto of the stoned floor outside getting quieter and quieter.

“I don’t meant to worry you guys,” The lady spoke up, now not touching Sebastian.

“No, i’m glad you said something, it makes sense now really,” Anthony said apathetically, the feeling of worry bites at his toes, he wanted to run to you.

Chris got to you first, bursting the door of your trailer open in a panting mess in full Cap uniform.

“Woah okay, erm, can I call you back later I think somethings wrong,” You say down the phone as you stand up to approach Chris.

“I will call you back later, I promise,” You console your adamant person and bid your goodbyes.

As soon as the call ends Chris is jumping down your throat, leaving you no room to question.

“Who was that?” He stares at you intently, still trying to catch his breath.

“Just a friend, it was Katie,” You can change your answer, hoping this one would be more convincing. “Why whats wrong?” Chris’s features changed, he placed his hand on his hip and cocked his eyebrows as if to question your answer.

“What?” You ask him, confusion fully lacing your voice.

“Y/n, I really hope you aren't lying to me,” His voice now evident with slight anger and dominance.

“Chris, what are you getting at,” You retaliate, who is he to question who you were on the phone too, you couldn't tell him anyway.

“Let me see your phone.” No question about it, he held his hand out and demanded. “Give me your phone Y/n” To say you were shocked was an understatement. Your face swelled with worry, worry that he might find out but you decided to mask it with anger.

“Chris, what the fuck?” You narrowed your eyebrows and Chris just raised his as if you were his child that was in trouble.

“I want to see who you last called,” His hand never once moved, you on the other hand were shaking, you had never seen Chris like this, never angry nor disappointed. Its not even like you could say it was a boy friend back home because you had already told Chris it was Katie.

“Its really none of your business who i’ve been calling,” Your mood had changed significantly since the phone call.

Chris’s eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared, he was angry. “Your lying.” He plainly stated.

“And your being irate, you obviously don’t trust me!” You flared your arms around in expression, trying to cover up anything and everything which made you angrier and angrier.

“Im only looking out for you, you know this but I cant do that if you dont tell me the truth, your only-”

“Yes, I know, im only 16 and dont know half of whats to come yet, I know im young Chris, you tell me all the time but just because im young doesn't mean I dont get my freedom and just because im young defiantly doesn't mean you get to boss me around because guess what Chris, your not my dad!” You knew it hurt him, due to an absent father you had told the men that they were like father figures to you and they took pride in that. He was taken aback by your sudden outburst and wondered how long you had been holding that in but he couldn't help what came out of his mouth next.

“Don’t ever come to me for anything again because I won't be there to help you,” This was so out of character for Chris it knocked the wind out of you, you felt like you could be sick. Tears welled in your eyes, you grabbed your keys and sprinted out of your trailer before he could see you break.

“Y/n!” Called a familiar voice, it was Anthony.

You stopped in your tracks and wiped your eyes before turning where you were confronted with two worried faces, not them as well.

“Did Chris speak to you?” Your heart sunk, did they think the same thing, you wanted to save yourself the embarrassment.

“Im going out,” You said plainly, holding back more tears.

“No you're not, we need to speak to you,” Anthony demanded again. You snapped before you could even think.

“You don’t control me! Not you! Not Sebastian and defiantly not Chris! I dont need you!” You let the tears fall, you felt like you were being dramatic but frankly you were sick of their controlling behaviour and Chris made it perfectly clear how he felt. Sadly you didnt actually feel this way, it was just what Alex had planted in your head and you couldn't risk him getting exposed otherwise you would be fucked.

“Y/n what happened?” Sebastian inched closer as you broke down.

“Y/n!” Chris called from the distance and before you could muster any sort of courage to be confronted by all three me, you ran.

“Im going out!” That dull phrase that fell from your lips every day with so much mystery behind it.

“Will you stop talking about them fucking men,” Alex seethes after just 5 minutes of you ranting, you're in an angry mood already so you snap at them.

“Alex i’m really fucking struggling right not and I would love some comfort from my significant other!” And before you know it your pinned underneath them.

“I think you forgot who you're talking to,” Alex hovered over you with your arms pinned above your head, you thrashed but they were stronger.

“Remember our little agreement sweetheart,” The pet name made your eyes clench shut and your body tense up, the dreaded nickname that was supposed to make you feel loved but made you feel on edge more than anything.

Then Alex done the unspeakable, something you thought was an empty threat, you never thought they would go there.

“You dare protest and see what happens,” Alex spat in your face as they violated all of your comfort zones and boundaries. They left you speechless, ashamed, and defiled.

You got in your car and drove, you didn’t know where, you couldn’t think straight. It was defiantly dangerous for you to drive but there was no way you were staying with them. The wheels took you back to set and your heart ached for your three men, you knew they wouldn't mind yet you couldn't bring yourself to tell them nor did you think they would care to know, they made it that clear. You ran to your trailer and jumped in the shower straight away, washing any evidence and remaining touches off your body, you looked down and discovered the marks of the abuser littered all over your shoulders, thumb marks shared along your pelvis and in between your thighs. You scrubbed and scrubbed but they wouldn't go away, only leaving a singing red hue on the surface, the rest were deeper, they penetrated your soul, no amount of scrubbing could remove those. Little did you know, Chris saw you running back to your trailer late last night but he left you alone, thinking you needed some time.

The next morning you felt the reminace of the abuse, you were supposed to be well rested since your day off yesterday yet you felt worse the you ever had but you wore a brave face and worried about the interactions between you and Chris, Seb and Anthony. Weak is how you felt, not knowing how the day would treat you.

You stepped out of your trailer with a grimace and a sharp ache in-between your legs. Normally Chris, Anthony and sometimes Sebastian would usher you from your trailer to set, you felt truly and utterly alone.

“Morning Y/n,” You took a sharp turn to see Scarlett heading straight in your direction. “No Chris this morning?” She asked with a frown.

You didn’t know how to speak, you didn't know if you could, your mind still swarming with, well, everything.

She hugged you quite roughly and you yelped out in pain with the sudden movement and pressure, she backed away immediately.

“Hey.. whats wrong kiddo?” She asked, worry evident on her face.

Quick Y/n, come up with something.

“Just my period, its quite painful today,” You covered that up quick and it was believable, you were surprised how you hadn't burst into tears yet, you didn't know how you were going to survive the whole day.

“I have some pain killers?” She offered with a sympathetic smile.

All you did was nod.

You walked to set with a slight limp and that didn't go unnoticed by the directors.

“You good Y/n?” Joe asked.

Scarlett just whispered in his ear and you already knew what she had said.

“We will go easy on you today.” He joked with a wink, normally you would find his teasing funny but all you felt was this pit of dread.

You trekked to wardrobe to get into your costume of the day; still with no sight of Anthony, Chris or Sebastian, you knew they were filming today because it was a fight scene... a fight scene which you had to do with Anthony... Luckily your costume covered all of your bruises, the only thing now was getting them past the wardrobe lady.

“Get naked my lovely,” The wardrobe lady joked. Yet again, no expression from you. “Are you okay?” She edged closer.

“Yes, i’m fine thank you,” You sent her a small smile.

“Come on then, we need to get you dressed” You just stripped your top, not even caring if she saw, you would only explain if she asked. All there was, was a gasp from her side. “Lovely...”

“I was with my partner yesterday, thats all,” You added as she helped you adjust your new layer of skin. “Please don’t tell anyone, I don’t need them teasing me about it,” You said with a small chuckle, it was getting easier.

You had greeted Anthony, Seb and Chris when you saw them, they said sorry and you said sorry back, the last thing you wanted to do was argue today. They had to go and get their hair and makeup done since they were a little late onto set.

Sebastian and Anthony were in the wardrobe truck while Chris got his hair done.

“She still seems different, I cant place my finger on it,” Anthony queried.

“Well I believe what Jo said in the makeup truck, I feel like she has a secret boyfriend,” Seb spoke back.

“Im just worried Seabass... she’s never been like this,” Before Sebastian could answer, the costume lady did.

“Are we talking about Y/n boys?” She questioned.

“Yes, do you know something?” Anthony was begging for any information he could get his hands on.

“She told me not to say anything but when she took her shirt off she had marks all over her shoulders, told me she was with a partner,” Anthony sighed and there his head back.

“See, this is what I didn't want happening, its fine that she’s having sex but I just hope its safe,” Anthony was just disappointed that you wouldn't tell him something like this, he thought you trusted him.

“I don't mean to worry you...” That same phrase. “But those marks weren't love bites, they were proper bruises,”

Sebastian and Anthony share a look of worry.

“I mean, I've had my far share of sexual partners and the only way those bruises could be that dark was if her partner was being rough, they had to be pretty recent as well.” She said nonchalantly.

There were two thoughts swimming through Anthony and Sebastian heads. Someone was being abusive or you liked rough sex and to be honest, they would have preferred the latter.

The actually acting part was going well - I mean, you got paid to do it- but when the the stunts started, thats the you felt the full effects. Your character was a master at karate so the moves were pretty intense, you hadn't warmed up either with the worry that it was going to hurt to much. You were right, it hurt tenfold when you started fighting with Anthony, you could deal with the pain but when you got thrown over Anthonys shoulder, it was endgame. A shrill sounded from the back of your throat and Anthony dropped you immediately. You doubled over with the pain and grasped your lower stomach, you felt like you would be sick.

“Y/n what's wrong?” Anthony Russo questioned.

Scarlett came running over and knelt beside you.

“Oh sweetheart,” At the sound of the nickname you burst into tears. Everything was getting too overwhelming. A couple seconds past, you didn't know if anyone was saying anything, you couldn't focus on anything at the moment. “Y/n?” Scarlett questioned. At this point you had a whole crown surrounding you, you couldn't break down, not here, not now.

“Im fine, just woman issues,”You sniffled and pointed to your stomach and peoples faces dropped and a few laughs were shared.

“Ill go easy on you,” Anthony joked and you sniffed a bit so you could get ready for the fight scene again. He could tell something was wrong, he was going to confront you when this scene was over.

It all played out fine until Anthony had to use you as a suspension tool, he put his hands on your shoulders and put all his weight onto you. He dug his fingers right into the bruises on your shoulders.

“Fuck!” You screamed out in immense pain, a couple tears fell down your cheeks.

“Y/n whats going on?” Anthony Russo asked.

“I just need a quick break please.” You begged as more tears threatened to fall.

“20 minute break everyone!” The Russo brothers called.

“Y/n!” Mackie called but you were long gone, already half way to your trailer.

“We need to go talk to her,” Sebastian told Mackie, they both had the same idea as they sprinted after you.

When you got to your trailer, the tears didn't stop, you sank down next to the door and just sobbed, it was an ugly, loud, desperate cry and you wish all this internal and external pain would just vanish.

“Y/n!” Anthony burst through the doors, throwing all caution to the wind.

“No!!” You shouted out but it was too late, Anthony and Sebastian were standing in-front of you, in your trailer, eyes wide with worry.

“Y/n please,” Anthony kneeled next to you. You just buried your head in his neck and sobbed. “Shhh, shhh its okay,” He stroked the back of your hair as you uncontrollably relieved your heart. “Breath Y/n breath,” Sebastian got on his knees and stroked your arm. Your breathing now becoming erratic. “Y/n breath,” Anthony had a look of complete worry.

He grasped your upper arms and made you look at him. “Y/n you need to breath, focus on me okay?” You nodded as your chin trembled. He had never seen you like this before. “Breath in,” You tried. “Breath out,” You tried again. You continued that until your breathing was under control.

For a second Anthony just stared at you.

“What happened girl?” You just shook your head. To test the waters Anthony put his hand on your shoulder will little force and you shouted from the pain. “Please don’t.” You squeaked, your throat raw from crying. There was an unspoken agreement, Anthony grabbed the hem of your shirt and lifted it up. The look on their faces would be ingrained in your mind for a long time yet to come. Yet again you just burst out crying. Anthony waved his hands around and Sebastian was gone and Anthony was just cradling you, he was crying into your hair. “Why wouldn't you tell me,”

Thats the last thing you heard before sleep consumed you.

You woke up to a foreign view and a foreign smell. You knew where you were instantly. You sat up and winced, your pelvis ached each time your moved. The first thing you saw was Chris, sitting there with this hands covering his mouth like he was thinking, leg bouncing up and down and just starting at you with sorrowful eyes. As soon as you locked eyes with him, you broke down again, this time is was Chris’s turn to cradle you. “Shhhh, I promise its going to be okay,” He cooed. “Im so sorry,” was all you could coo back. “Don’t speak.” He said.

You and Chris stayed like that until Sebastian and Anthony showed up, you instantly felt safe, you missed how this felt.

“Im so sorry.” Was all you could say, your mind couldn't think of anything else for once, just how sorry you were. All three men had tears in their eyes. All three men were there to support you, they weren’t going to shout or be angry, they cared.

“We love you so much.” Anthony said with a hand on your knee.

It took you a good 30 minuted to muster up the courage to tell them what happened.

They all sat and listened contently about how you met Alex.

“Then stuff started getting serious, they would... touch me without my consent,” You said.

“Did you say no?” Chris asked.

You nodded. “They said they would tell you all bad things about me if I didn't comply,” You answered. The group sighed.

“Thats why you were so distant,” Seb said.

You nodded again. “They didn't want me to be close to you guys.”

Seb put his hand on your knee and rubbed.

“The yesterday, after we had the argument, I went to their house and thats when they fully, you know,” You couldn't hold back. You put your hands up to your face and sobbed again. “We know, we know, you dont have too say it,” Sebastian rubbed your back.

“Y/n” Chris said, you looked up at him. He was fully sobbing also. “I love you so much and I am so sorry for everything that I said, I didn't mean any of it I promise,” You nodded. “Neither did I, I love all you guys, im so fucking sorry,” You sobbed some more.

After you talked some more, the boys decided it would be the right idea to take you to the hospital, just incase.

“The X-Ray shows a broken collar bone,” The doctor admitted. All three men sighed and Anthony muttered a little ‘oh gosh’. “Im so sorry Y/n,” The doctor was extremely empathetic. “We will just have to put it in a sling for a week or two and no extra circular for at least three,”

“Three weeks!!” You exclaimed, “I cant not work for three weeks!! We have shooting.” You explained.

“Y/n, its fine,” Chris explained. “The Russo’s will understand.” You just leant your head back against the hospital bed. “Can we go now, hospitals make me uneasy.” The boys were slightly more happy that you were getting more verbal again.

“With your consent, we would like to do a rape kit, just to see if there is any damage internally.” You nodded your head slowly.

The exam was uncomfortable, your whole body was tense and rigid.

“Its okay darling, relax.” The lady was so lovely and she made you feel at ease for a bit but the impending thought was about what was happening to Alex.

“Okay its all done darling, would you like your guardians to come in whilst I tell you the results so they can hear it too?” You nodded.

The men got ushered in and they stood by your side, hands on your upper arms.

“So there wasn't any internal damage but there is alot of tissue and a bit of muscle damage and some dark bruising both on the pelvis and inner and outer thighs,” You nodded. “That will take some time to heal and might get a bit painful so we will give you some pain killers for that and some cream for the bruises,” She gave you a sweet smile.

“You did so well, “ Chris cooed as he stroked your hair. You nodded at him.

“Watch thinking about girl,” Anthony butted in.

You took a breath and spilled. “Its just Alex, whats going to happen to them,” You worried.

“They are going to get what they deserve, thats what.” Sebastian butted in.

You nodded and started to tear up.

“Y/n” Chris said and you looked up at him.

“We are with you till the end of the line.”

┕━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┙

#teen!reader x marvel cast #teen!reader x chris evans #teen!reader x sebastian stan #teen!reader x anthony mackie #chris evans x reader #sebastian stan x reader #anthony mackie x reader #marvel

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missdawnandherdusk · 3 years

Text

brother’s best friend

Sirius X Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Request: @lam-ila: Sirius and a Slytherin reader

A/n: This is mostly angst and pining with a cute ending as always. It’s kinda nice to do these short drabbles not going to lie. This one’s about 3k words though... my bad. I meant to keep it shorter but ya know...

“Isn’t that your older brother?” I whispered in class.

“Yes, regrettably,” Regulus muttered.

“He’s a Gryffindor?” I was taken back. “Isn’t your whole family Slytherin?”

“You’d think that wouldn’t you?” He sounded dismayed.

“Your parents must be livid,”

“You have no idea,”

Curious blue eyes met mine from across the room before I saw a hint of disgust on his face.

“What are you doing hanging around my little brother?” His voice caught my attention in the hallway between classes.

“Hello little black sheep,” I smiled, turning from my friends to face him. He had a sneer etched into his features, but he couldn’t hide the concern from his eyes.

“Don’t call me that,” Sirius snapped. “What do you want with my brother?”

“He’s a friend? Did you think that Slytherins didn’t have friends little Gryffindor?” I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re bad news,”

“So are you,” I refuted. “And yet here we are.”

“Just stay away from him,” Sirius threatened.

“He’s my friend,” I snarled. “And how dare you think you can order me around!?”

He drew his wand, and I drew mine. Others made a circle around us, ready for the show. My eyes didn’t leave Sirius.

“Y/n? Sirius?” Regulus called pushing through the crowd. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing Reg. Just go,” Sirius ordered.

“Oh, that’s brilliant,” I snorted. “Not gonna tell him you’re threatening me, are you big brother?”

Sirius raised his wand, but Regulus was between the two of us, staring down his older sibling.

“I don’t need you to protect me,” Regulus left no room for argument.

“I’m your brother. It’s my job,” Sirius eyes didn’t leave mine.

“And Y/n is my friend. If you want to protect me find some new friends yourself,” Regulus said.

The younger Black took my hand and pulled me out of the ring and to an empty hallway.

“I’m sorry. He always does this,” Regulus eyes were fixed on the ground.

“It’s alright,” I stowed my wand away.

“I... I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore,” He mumbled.

“Because Sirius threatened me?” I laughed. “Reg, I’m not intimidated by some arrogant Gryffindor. You’re still my friend and that’s that.”

A smile played at Regulus’ lips.

“Has Sirius done this every time?” I pondered. He shrugged, giving me my confirmation. I harbored a slightly bigger grudge against the older Black.

Later that night, I found resolve to go and find Sirius and his little gang of marauders and deal a few threats of my own. He and his posse were hanging out under a tree in the yard as the sun began to settle in the Scottish mountains.

“Oi, little black sheep!” I called, stalking up to him. Sirius immediately squared up and drew his wand, his three friends flanking him.

“I told you not to call me that,” He sneered.

“I really couldn’t care less,” I snapped back. “But you need to stay away from Regulus,”

Sirius barked a laugh and was joined by his friends. It didn’t sway my determination. “Oh, yeah?” He snickered. “And why is that?”

“Because every time you threaten one of his friends, they leave him. And now he has one friend and abandonment issues,” Seething, I crossed my arms. “So, don’t you dare act all high and mighty.”

I could see him falter in his confidence at my words, as if he had no idea.

“Reg has always said he’s fine,” He argued weakly.

“He looks up to you Sirius,” My tone softened. “I don’t think he wants to disappoint you,”

“You’re lying,” I watched Sirius’ defenses go back up. “That’s all you Slytherins do,”

I flinched slightly at his accusation as I turned to leave, knowing it was a lost cause at this point. Sirius was too caught up in his own fantasy.

“Fine,” I shrugged. “Don’t believe me, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,”

Walking down the hall, back to my dorm, Sirius caught my hand, and we were alone on the staircases as the shifted in the grand room of portraits. His blue eyes met mine, a thousand questions in them, but only a few in mine that he seemed to be able to read.

“Why... why would you say that?” Sirius seemed as if he had a hard time asking the question, to bare any sort of emotion in front of me.

“Because believe it or not, I care about your brother.” I understood his hesitancy to admit his feelings because I was having a hard time finding the words myself. “I... he’s like family to me, Sirius. Surely you must understand what that’s like,”

He pursed his lips and nodded, a hand running through his long, tousled, raven hair. “Look out for him, yeah?” Sirius baited.

I nodded, and we parted ways. I paused at the bottom of the staircase and glanced over my shoulder to him. He had done the same thing I had at the top of the stairs. Our eyes meeting a brief moment broke the pull between us as we both went on our way. But it left me thinking that maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.

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“So, did you tell her off?” James asked, fidgeting with a snitch, lounging on a couch in the common room.

“Yeah,” Sirius could barely manage a smile with the lie as he headed straight to his room.

Sirius was confused. He could hear your voice taunting that it wouldn’t take much in his head. He let out a groan to clear you from his thoughts as he perched on the window seat, staring at the stars.

He hated Slytherins. He hated every Slytherin he had ever met. His family, his parents, their friends. They were all dreadful and he loathed them more than anything in the world. His only exception was Regulus. Sirius wasn’t surprised when his little brother was sorted into Slytherin. He knew it was coming. He hated every Slytherin, but Regulus.

“I care about your brother, he’s like family to me,” Your words played on an endless loop in his mind.

Surely you couldn’t be as bad as the other Slytherins if you had befriended and defended his brother. There weren’t many that would stand up to him and his friends for the sake of another. Sure, any Slytherin was proud enough to stand for themselves, but you surprised him. You stood for his little brother. Against him of all people. So maybe he hated every Slytherin but Regulus, and he could tolerate you. And your attitude. And your confidence. And your loyalty. And your honesty.

And maybe you started to smile at him in the halls. And maybe he always noticed you because you were always with Regulus. Whispered words between you and his brother that would make you flush a bright pink and shove Regulus, both of you laughing, leaving Sirius wondering what the hell had made you blush so hard. Then those smiles became waves and taunts in the halls that made him laugh and glance over his shoulder just to watch you leave.

“Not two months ago were you about to hex her to next week and now you’re flirting with her?” James demanded in the hall one afternoon. “What the hell Pads?”

“Just leave it,” Sirius snapped. “She’s friends with Reg, so I might as well be civil.”

“There’s civil then there’s whatever the hell you two have going on, mate,” Remus pointed out.

“She’s a Slytherin, mate,” James warned. “They’re all the same. Look at Snivilus, you really want to date that?”

Sirius blanched and sighed. “Look, it’s nothing okay? She’s just friendly to my brother and I don’t want to ruin that for him, that’s all. She’s nothing to me,”

Then Sirius caught your eye in the hall, but you weren’t smiling at him this time. You looked defeated and pissed. A dangerous thing. Regulus held the same look of disapproval beside you. Sirius’ hand went to his wand, ready for backlash from you, but for the first time since he’s met you, you turned your back and walked away.

Sirius panicked and took off to follow you and paused around the corner, listening to your conversation with his brother.

“He probably didn’t mean it,” Regulus tried to comfort.

“I’m fine,” You huffed. “It’s fine.”

“Y/n,” Regulus called.

“Enough!” You shouted, and Sirius flinched at your raised tone. “Don’t you get it? It was always going to end like this. It’s better that I walk away now before it’s too late,”

“Y/n,” Regulus sounded desperate. “Please don’t give up on him,”

“He gave up on me, there’s nothing I can do about that,” You sighed and there was nothing more to be heard or said. Sirius leaned up against the wall, feeling like a total prick.

“Come on, mate,” Remus said sympathetically. “We’re gonna be late,”

And Sirius walked away, trapped in his own mind by the look of betrayal on your face. He wanted to go back and say something different. He wanted you to not be there when he said those stupid things. He wanted to find you and try to explain. Nothing could be done now. He sealed his fate.

The permanent look of despondency on your features bothered him. More than he cared to admit it bothered him. You didn’t smile at him in the hall anymore. You and Regulus didn’t whisper hushed secrets any longer. There was no more banter, no more reason to laugh. Without your smile everything around him was a bit lackluster.

What really crushed him, however, was when he saw you in the halls, not with his brothers, but rather his three cousins, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda. The same air of disdain they held appeared on your face. Like they had sucked you in.

That was the line for him.

He stopped short in the middle of the hall and stalked over to you, grabbing your arm and he dragged you to an empty hallway.

You didn’t dare to meet his eyes. As if you couldn’t bear to look at him.

“Y/n,” Sirius began. “Bellatrix? Really? What the hell are you thinking?” Oh, that was so not the thing to say and he realized that very quickly.

“I’m sorry,” You snarled. “I didn’t know you cared. I’m nothing to you Sirius, so my friends are none of your concern.” It was like a slap to the face.

“I didn’t mean what I said! That day! It was stupid! I was stupid!” Sirius argued back.

“I’m glad you figured that out. But it’s too late Sirius. I know my place. I never should have acted like I belonged anywhere else.” The coldness of your words seeped under his skin. “So, thank you for the reminder,”

“And what about Reg?” Sirius asked, “Are you just going to ditch him for your new ‘friends’?”

There was a softness and moment of doubt in your features and for a moment Sirius saw the old you seep through.

“Of course not,” You words were still cold, but not as harsh. “He’s family,”

You left him there dumbfounded, more confused, and angrier at himself than he was before he had the conversation with you. It was foolish of him to think that a few words could sway you. Not after what he had said to make you so... distant.

“Still no luck?” Remus asked softly. Sirius shook his head and flopped on the couch, defeated.

“She’s a Slytherin, mate,” James tried to appease. “You don’t need her,”

Sirius’ glare became cold and unforgiving as he sat up. “It’s your bloody fault that I’m in this mess! You couldn’t just leave her alone could you!? You couldn’t just let us be!?”

“Don’t get so bent out,” James argued. “You’ll find someone else,”

“Go to hell, Potter,” Sirius muttered, stalking out of the common room and into the drafty halls of the night.

Sirius wandered with no direction. Muttering to himself and sighing, he barely heard your voice in the vast quiet and darkness.

“Leave me alone,” You threatened, sounding unsteady. “I’m not in the mood,”

“Ickle Slytherin have no fire left in her then?” Another taunted. Sirius took off running, wand drawn.

“I said leave me alone!” Your voice was more frantic as he heard the other voice cast a disarming spell and the clattering of a wand on the cold stones of the castle.

“You’re going to have to try harder than that darling,” The assailant chuckled. “Where are your little friends now? I thought Slytherins were loyal?”

Sirius rounded the corner and saw you pressed against a wall, looking defiant even still. He could see you shaking, a wand under your throat. Your attacker caressed your face gently, too close for anyone’s comfort. Your eyes flashed to his, terrified. It was just enough to distract your aggressor.

With no regrets Sirius casted a stunning spell, overtaking your attacker. You about collapsed, but Sirius was there to catch you.

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My fingers curled into the cotton of his shirt, clinging to him desperately. I couldn’t stop myself from shaking. I couldn’t stop myself from hiding my face in his shoulder. I couldn’t stop myself from crying.

He hushed me softly, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

“It’s over now,” He consoled. “It’s over, you’re safe,”

“He... I... Sirius,” I sniffled.

“I’m here,” He whispered. “I’m right here,”

“Y/n!” I knew that voice. I trusted that voice. “Sirius, what happened? What did you do?”

“Nothing, Regulus,” Sirius snapped. “She was...” He growled. “I’ll tell you later. Can you go get Slughorn and McGonagall, I need to get her to Pomfrey,”

Something must have passed between him that I didn’t see because I heard Reg’s retreating footsteps.

“Can you walk?” Sirius asked softly, and it took me a moment to realize he was speaking to me.

A long enough moment that instead of allowing me to test his question, he gathered me into his arms and began to carry me. I still clung to him, pressing my face to his shoulder, and trying to find the will to take deep breaths. With each breath I took, Sirius’ scent surrounded me. Leather, cotton, fire whiskey, fresh air... I focused on that.

“Oh dear,” I heard Pomfrey flit about, asking Sirius questions about what happened, not caring to listen for the answers.

I felt myself being set down, but the small, scared girl inside of me was not allowing that. She fought against it, gripping tighter to the familiar comfort and warmth. There was a soft chuckle from my safe haven and the motion to set me down stopped.

I dared to open my eyes and look around, and sure enough, we were in the hospital wing. Sirius held me in his lap as he stretched out into a cot, pulling a blanket around my shoulders.

“Sirius, I—”

“Drink,” He didn’t let me finish as he shoved a glass of water into my hands.

“But—” I paused after seeing the steady determination in his eyes and I began to drain the glass of chilled water. He freed my hands of the empty glass and there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

“Better?” He spoke with utmost care and softness. I nodded.

“Mr. Black!” I heard the shrill of McGonagall’s voice and flinched harder than I meant to. “I choose to let a lot of things slide, but there has to be a line somewhere!”

“Don’t yell at him,” I croaked. “He saved me,”

The professor backtracked, as Slughorn rounded her, concerned with my health.

“Are you alright my dear?” The professor asked, reaching out to check me for a fever, yet between my cringe and Sirius’ growl, he paused. “Seems like we have much to discuss,”

“Tomorrow,” Sirius affirmed. “She needs to rest,”

“Then off to bed with you Mr. Black,” McGonagall ordered.

“Best not, Minnie,” Pomfrey cautioned. “I’m afraid with the current situation, Mr. Black would do her more good here than if he left,”

McGonagall scrutinized us, then sighed, her resolve leaving her.

“Very well,”

The lights dimmed and Sirius and I were left in the quiet of the night. His hand absentmindedly ran through my hair as I tucked my head back into the crook of his shoulder.

“Thank you,” I choked out.

“You’re safe now,” He murmured.

“Sirius I—” I had no words to say.

“I’m sorry,” He found the words I wanted to say and gave them to me. “I should have defended you. I know you’re different. I know you’re not like them,”

“You were there when it counted the most,” Tears pricked my eyes. “I was so scared,”

“I know, I know,” He soothed, rubbing my arm. “It’s all over now,”

“I’m so sorry,” I cried softly.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” I felt him press his lips to the crown of my head in a gesture of comfort and safety.

A quiet moment passed between us.

“I love you, Sirius,” It was muffled and tearstained, but it was true. “

I... I love you too,”

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graysonmydarling · 4 years

Text

thin line

summary: what happens when you finally cross the thin line between hate and desire?

word count: 2.1K

warnings: swearing, smut, secret relationship

There’s a very thin line between love and hate, a line you were all too familiar with. After all, you’ve been edging the line between being enemies and lovers with Dick Grayson for years now. You weren’t even sure how this ‘feud’ between you and him had started, only knowing that you were both too stubborn and proud to admit that maybe you were wrong, besides you could hardly take back years and years of despising each other just like that. So you kept any objectionable feelings you might have developed to yourself and pretended that his face didn’t haunt your dreams at night.

A dark expression clouded Dick’s features as he went over the mission plan for what felt like the 1000th time but he was still no closer to figuring out how to get into Deathstroke’s hq without immediately alerting him. Donna sighed, bringing the team’s attention to her, “I don’t understand why you’re trying to make this harder for yourself. One phone call and we can get in and out without him ever knowing we were there.”

“Absolutely not. I’m not calling her.”

Donna scoffed, “Damn right you’re not calling her, I’m gonna call her.” She picked up her phone, hitting your contact number before he could stop her, “Hey Y/n, I’m sending you an address, we need you for this mission.” She hung up, sending him a triumphant smile.

You checked your phone for the 100th time, checking the address that Donna had texted you before sending her a message to tell her you were waiting outside. The door buzzed open and you took the lift up to where you assumed Donna would be, the doors slid open and the smile fell from your face as soon as you saw him. As much as you hated to admit it...he looked good, even if he was scowling at you with his arms crossed over his chest like a child, speaking of his arms....it felt like your brain was short-circuiting as you watched his muscles flexing. He glanced over, meeting your gaze, “I was against you coming here. Just so we know, I think we can do this without you.” And he just had to go and ruin it, didn’t he?

“Then it’s a good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion, isn’t it?”

He straightened up, taking a step towards you, “Oh you’re such a-”

“Uh uh, don’t you dare finish that sentence, Bird Boy. I told you to be nice to her.” Donna marched over to you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Maybe she shouldn’t make it so difficult to be nice to her.” Dick retorted, still glaring at you.

She gave you both an exasperated look, “Well no one else finds it difficult to at least be civil with her. Look, she’s here now so you two need to put your stupid feud aside, at least until this mission is over and then you can have a fight to death for all I care.” She grabbed your arm, pulling you out of the room with her.

“So Dick....Why do you hate her?” His jaw clenched from Kory’s question and you grinned at him.

“Yeah why do you hate me?” He didn’t answer but you could see how physically tense the question had made him, you turned to Kory with the pure intention of pissing him off further, “You know, I actually have a theory that he likes me and this is his way of showing it. You know like how little kids are mean to people they like, I guess Dickhead Grayson over here never grew out of it.”

He whipped around with a dark look in his eyes, he was furious and it was kinda hot, “Y/n….a word, in private.”

You got up and Donna called after you, “Remember no murdering each other until after the mission.”

He dragged you down the hall and into his room, locking the door before turning to you, “What the fuck was that?”

You shrugged, feigning ignorance, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Pretty Bird.”

“Don’t call me that. And you know exactly what I mean.”

“Would you prefer if I went back to calling you a dickhead?”

He let out a frustrated groan, “I’d prefer if you’d shut up for once!”

“Do you know what I think?” You continued, not caring about his response, “I think you only hate me cause I turn you on. I think I frustrate you.”

His jaw clenched, his voice so low that it sounded like a growl, “Shut up.”

“Make me.”

And then without warning, you found yourself pinned against the wall as he surveyed you with a ravenous look. His face was barely an inch away from yours, his eyes glinting as he smirked at you, “What’s wrong? Had so much to say earlier.” He caught your gaze on his lips and his smirk widened before he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you roughly as his hands slipped down to your waist, pulling you into him, your hands tangled into his hair, kissing him back. Kissing Dick felt like relief, the tension that had built up between you for years was finally broken and you wondered where you’d be now if you had only done this earlier.

Your back hit the wall and you buried your face into his neck to muffle a moan as his hips ground into yours. He abruptly pulled away from you, “I’m not gonna touch you unless you beg for it.”

You didn’t say anything and a devilish smile creeped onto his face as he slowly traced his fingers up your thigh, smirking as he heard your breath hitching, “I said beg, sweetheart.”

His fingers painfully close to where you needed him, “Dick...please.”

His fingers pressed into your thigh, a shit eating grin plastered on his face, “Please what?”

You glared at him, your fingers trailing along his chest before your hand slipped down to palm him through his jeans, “I don’t care what you do as long as you do me.”

“He picked you up, his lips on your neck as he carried you over to his bed, gently dropping you on top of the mattress. He hovered above you, after he’d helped you out of your clothes before taking off his own, his eyes burning into you before he leaned down, pulling your legs to rest over his shoulders. You frowned at him, “What’re you ohh-” You cut yourself off with an almost embarrassingly loud moan as he buried his head between your legs, your hands immediately fisting into his hair as his tongue roughly flicked against your clit. His fingers slipping into you as you whimpered his name, he moaned against you as you involuntarily tugged on his hair as his fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot.

The coil in your stomach tightened as he brought you closer to the edge, “Fuck- Dick...I’m gonna-.” You couldn’t even finish your thought before you came undone on his tongue. But he wasn’t finished with yet as he trailed kisses up your body, hitching your leg to rest around his waist, biting down on your shoulder as he pushed into you. “Such a good girl for me, aren’t you baby?”

You nodded, not trusting your voice as you prayed that the rest of the Titans were still in the kitchen so they wouldn’t hear the sounds of your moans or the bed-frame slamming against the wall as Dick thrusted into you. You felt your walls clenching around him as he moaned your name into your skin, his hand slipped down to circle your clit, “Good girl, cum for me, baby,” He murmured in the hottest voice you’d ever heard, but you’d always had a secret thing for his voice, digging your nails into his back as he guided you to your release, your name spilling out of his mouth as he came before pulling out of you and tugging you into his arms.

It was silent for a moment before Dick sighed, “You were right.” You raised an eyebrow in confusion and he continued, “I only hate you cause you frustrate me.”

You laughed and he tensed up, “I knew you liked me, but for the record? It’s definitely mutual.” You paused, “What are we gonna tell everyone else? They’re gonna ask if we’re suddenly all lovey dovey after being at each other’s throats for god knows how long.”

“What if....we just don’t say anything? We could just pretend to still hate each other and avoid an awkward interrogation from Donna.” He captured your lips in a gentle kiss, making it very hard to say no to him.

Pretending to hate Dick was proving to be a lot harder than you’d anticipated, in theory it seemed easy, you’d practically been doing it for years now but now you knew your feelings were reciprocated but you still couldn’t hold his hand in public. Your relationship consisted of dark corners and locked rooms, you knew deep down that it was probably for the best when it was still so new but you couldn’t help the way your blood boiled when you had to sit and watch Kory dancing around him like that. It wasn’t that you were jealous of Kory, more that you were jealous of her ability to openly flirt with him while you could only have a civil conversation with him behind closed doors. Thankfully no one had noticed that you had practically moved into Dick’s room, mornings with him were like your safe haven. You always woke up first, just so you could admire the way the shadows fell across his face, making him look like an angel when he finally opened his eyes.

Today was one of those mornings, he squinted at you, before his arms tightened around your waist, pulling you closer to him as a fond smile appeared on his face. “Good mornin’, darling.”

“Speak for yourself, I still can’t feel my legs!”

His smile widened, tugging you closer, “Shame, guess you’ll have to spend all day in bed with me, won’t you, sweetheart?” He rolled over, hovering above you before leaning down to kiss you lovingly. Unfortunately you were interrupted by a loud knock at the door, you moved to slip out from under him but his arms tightened around you, keeping you with him, “Just ignore it, they’ll go away.” He mumbled in your ear, burying his head in the crook of your neck. He groaned into your neck as the knocking got louder, begrudgingly letting go of you and pulling on his sweatpants before stumbling over to the door, opening it an inch so you’d remain out of sight.

You smiled as you listened to him grumbling at his younger brother, pulling your lower lip between your teeth as your eyes trailed over his back, watching how the muscles flexed as he stretched. You were so preoccupied that you didn’t notice Jason leaving until you heard the door locking and your eyes darted up to meet Dick’s gaze. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?”

“I wasn’t staring, I was admiring. Two completely different things.” A smile tugged at your lips as he crawled back into bed with you, his lips ghosting over yours. “Admiring hmm?”

You rolled over so you were looking down at him, “I’ve heard it’s rude not to admire beautiful things and you, Richard Grayson, are one of the most beautiful people in this world, no doubt about it.”

He laughed and you gave him a questioning look, “I’m sorry but two months ago, you were telling me that I was the ‘most insufferable person to plague the earth’ and now-” He trailed off and you reached over to brush the hair out of his eyes.

“And now?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat, “And now, you’re saying things that make it really hard for me to stop myself from falling in love with you.” He reached for your hand as he spoke, running his thumb over the back of your knuckles.

“You expect me to believe that my favourite boy wonder is scared of falling in love with me?” You asked in a teasing tone, not actually expecting him to respond.

“No, he’s actually terrified.” You paused, searching his face for any hint of insincerity, wondering if he could feel your heart racing. “What are you saying?”

He sat up, “I think I might be in love with you.”

You shifted so you were sitting in his lap, “Well the feeling might be mutual, Pretty Bird.”

His face scrunched up at the nickname, “Didn’t I tell you not to call me that?”

You shrugged and his hand came up to cup your cheek, pulling you into a gentle kiss.

Tagging a couple people (let me know if you wanna be removed!!): @catxsnow, @starxfires, @pricetagofficial

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its-monster-mash · 3 years

Text

Marko(Lost Boys) X Frog!Reader Imagines

Gender Neutral Reader

Content Warnings: gun, near death, brief mention of weed

• You spent most of your life on the East Coast, but you had a lot of family out west, including your beloved Grandfather. So when he passed, you dropped everything to attend the funeral

• You didn’t even recognize Edgar and Alan when you showed up at the trailer with your bag; last time you saw them Ed was just learning his first words(“Bullshit”, thanks Uncle Frog), and Al couldn’t even walk yet. Now here they are, a couple of Angsty sullen teenagers

• “You guys used to be so cute, what happened?” “We grew up.” “Oh please, what are you, 12?”

• You decided to stay for a while, help out with the comic book store while your Uncle deals with the legal stuff about your grandfather’s death. Dying sure was a pain in the ass, you guessed

• All things considered, you liked the work. You were a huge comic fan, and the store was slow enough that you had plenty of time to spend working on your own art. You hoped maybe you’d have your own comic some day, if only you could stick to one idea...

• In fact, you were so focused on your art that you forgot to lock up after closing time; so you were more than a little bit started when someone tossed a comic on your desk

• You look up to see a curly-headed blond man, with one of the most beautiful faces you had ever seen, and you can’t help but blush, he smiles at this. “New in town? I think I’d remember seeing you.”

• You notice his friends snicker as they mill around the store. So he IS flirting with you...this does nothing to help your blushing

• You try to collect yourself, ringing up his comic book as you explain your situation; about your grandfather, and how you’re staying with your uncle for a while...how you accidentally kept the shop open way late

• He seems infinitely more interested once he hears that you’re an artist, and absolutely wants to see your work. In fact, he doesn’t even wait for you to respond. “Is that your sketchbook?” Is all the warning you have before he’s snatching it off of your desk and flipping through it

• His jaw all but drops as he appreciates your work. “This is so sick!” Suddenly he’s pushing the sketchbook back to you. “Can you draw me?”

• Normally, you hate that question as much as any other artist, but you’d been dying to draw him since you saw his face, so you absolutely take him up on that

• It doesn’t take you very long to sketch him, and the second you’re finished he snatches it out of your hands, staring at it like he hasn’t seen himself in years

• While he’s busy being in awe, you snatch the sketchbook back from him, much to his surprise, and you hold up a finger to tell him to wait while you scratch your phone number onto the page. You hope he can read your terrible writing

• You tear the page out of the sketchbook, handing it to him. “Here, my phone number...you could call it sometime...if you want to.”

• Your heart flutters when he smiles, and you think you might die when his fingers brush yours when he takes the page. “I want to.”

• His spikyheaded friend nods at him, signaling it’s time for them to leave. “Name’s Marko, I’ll call you!”

• After a couple of late night phone calls, you never leave the shop open late again; Marko never failing to pick you up just after the sun goes down. You tease him about never seeing him in the daylight, like he’s one of those vampires from your cousins’ favorite comic

• “I’ve never seen you in the daylight either.” “Fair enough.”

• Unfortunately, your cousins overhear this little talk just outside of the shop; and one very early morning you notice them sneaking out of the house...you follow of course, you are the adult after all

• Following at a distance, you watch them climb into an old cave...very clearly labeled “Stay Out”. You wonder if maybe they go down there to get stoned with their friends or something...they have friends right? You consider leaving them be...but decide it would be so much funnier to bust them

• Except it isn’t funny at all. By the time you get down there, you hear your cousins’ screams. You frantically follow the sound, and much to your surprise you find Marko, his face distorted monsterously, ready to tear Edgar’s throat out

• You hardly even notice his friends, making a daring slide to pick up the stake Ed had dropped, and grabbing onto Marko. You aren’t strong enough to pry his grip off of your cousin, but the shock of seeing you here causes him to let go anyway. Ed scrambles to Al’s side, terrified under the gaze of the other vampires

• You press the point of the stake to Marko’s chest, and he looks at you with the most devastated expression. “Touch my cousins and he fucking dies.”

• Contempt and fear plays across the faces of the other vampires, guys you thought had become your friends since you started dating Marko; they didn’t know if you could kill him, but they didn’t want to take that chance. David nods for them to part so your cousins can start climbing out of the cave

• Marko...Marko looks at you with his golden eyes full of sorrow and anguish. Seeing him now for the monster he is, you know that the only reason you’re still alive is because he doesn’t want to kill you. You have a stake pressed to his chest, but you both know he could tear your throat out before you ever got the chance to use it

• “(Y/N), please, I-”

• As soon as your cousins reach the safety of daylight, you toss the stake violently to the floor, glaring into Marko’s eyes. You don’t even spare him a final word before you turn and walk away

• Every night, the phone rings; your Uncle doesn’t even bother to tell you anymore, just hanging up the second he hears Marko’s voice. If he knew the truth about what happened that night he’d be terrified, but as it stands he just thinks you had a nasty breakup; and you’re grown...so it’s not his business

• You hate yourself for it, but you miss him...you want to blame it on his Vampiric Charm, but you know in your heart that he never had to manipulate your feelings...they were real

• One night, you just can’t stand lying awake staring at the ceiling anymore. At damn near 3am, you leave quietly so not to awaken your family, and take off for your grandpa’s old shooting range

• Perhaps it was unwise to take yourself to a secluded area so far from any civilization in the dead of night, but you don’t care anymore. You load your grandfather’s old shotgun, the one he taught you to hunt with, and fire at the target

• Eventually, you hear a lone dirtbike pull up the long road behind you; you don’t even turn to look at him. “It’s four AM Marko, what are you doing here?” You fire at the target in the distance

• He walks up behind you, watching you lazily reload. “I could ask you the same thing.”

• “S’my grandpa’s range. I couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d get in some target practice.” *Ting* “You know that’s no good against Vampires, right?” “It’s not for vampires.”

• He can’t help but be frustrated with you; how could you just come out into the open like this? In the middle of the night? Were you stupid or suicidal?

• You don’t need to read minds to know what he’s thinking. He opens his mouth to speak and you cut him off. “If you wanted me dead, I never would have left that cave.”

• “So why didn’t you do it? You know what I am now, so why didn’t you drive that stake through my heart?” “Even if I could have stabbed you faster than you could have killed me, your brothers would have torn me to pieces.”

• “My brothers aren’t here now.”

• You finally turn to look at him, tears welling in your eyes at the sight of him. Your heart tenses at the sight of the sun threatening to rise on the horizon. “If you don’t leave now, I won’t even have to kill you.”

• “No (Y/N).” You can see the tears in his eyes as he shifts into his monstrous form. “No, if you really want me dead, you’re gonna see it.”

• You’re confused at first, until you see the smoke beginning to rise as the first rays of morning light threaten him. “Marko, what are you doing?”

• He lets out an agonized hiss as his skin begins to singe. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

• Tears well in your eyes as you run to him, throwing your jacket over him in an attempt to shield him from the sun. “Knock it off!” You practically drag him into the old gun shack

• He collapses to the floor once you get him inside, too weak to stand. “If I’m gonna die, I want it to be you.” He sounds so raspy and exhausted

• You shake your head, tossing an old blanket over him. “Well too bad. You’re not dying on me today.”

#Spotify #mypost #music tag #marko lost boys #the lost boys #the lost boys imagines #Marko Lost boys x reader #marko x reader #lost boys marko #lost boys Marko x reader

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cafeacademia · 3 years

Note

🔮 how an arranged marriage with draco would be like. (his reaction to finding out/the leading up to the wedding/the wedding/after lol)

Hello my darling Sierra! I’m so sorry it took me a while to answer this, I was so SO excited when this popped into my inbox, because I kinda have a little bit of a thing for this even though I’ve never written anything for an arranged marriage AU (even though I have something similar in the works at the moment ?). Also, I greatly apologise if this was a bit shitty, I’m suuuuper rubbish with angst and I’ve never written about this subject before! Anyway, life got in the way a little bit, but here it is! I hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for sending this in and for celebrating with me!! I love you!

Draco was angry when he caught wind of the plan to marry him to someone he didn’t know

But what made him even more angry was that he had learned it from someone other than his parents

Narcissa had been quite insistent on keeping it quiet until it was all sorted and her sister, Bellatrix accidentally let it slip to Draco one evening

“I don’t want you to choose for me, I’m perfectly capable of finding a girl to marry myself!” Draco argued, he was seething with anger.

Of course he played it off as feeling as if his mother felt he was unable to find a good match for himself through love

But really, he was hurt because of the lack of trust between him and his parents

That and how on earth was he supposed to marry someone he’d never met?

“Come now Draco, we’ll be holding a ball and all of the suitable candidates will be there and we can see who is the best.” Narcissa tried her best to calm his rage, but despite her efforts, Draco was relentless with his angry silence

“See, you do get a choice.” His father would add.

But Draco didn’t see it like that. He’d have to choose out of people his parents had picked for him and he couldn’t shake the hurt in his chest that he’d never be able to marry for love

That was something he began to slowly realise was what was hurting him deeply, he’d never even get to fall in love with someone and marry the love of his life

As the ball drew closer, Draco tried his best to keep his mind off things

And he decided that whoever he ended up with, he’d do his best to make their lives together as bearable and as civil as possible, he’d let whoever he ended up with date to their hearts content and they could use marriage as a guise to keep their families happy

But when the ball arrived, Draco had not taken into account that many of the people at the ball were people he knew from his days at Hogwarts

And he felt even more nervous about facing the situation he was given

The evening was grand, the Malfoy manor decorated for the occasion and he felt like Narcissa was better dressed than he was

Draco was miserable

Being pulled around his own house to meet snooty parents of possible brides

It was exhausting

And the overly falsely positive small talk was beyond boring and extremely awkward, even for someone as charismatic as Draco

No stupid amounts of champagne flutes could get him through the evening smoothly and quickly enough

So when it all got far too much, Draco slipped out of the main room for a breather, though he hadn’t expected to find someone hiding in the drawing room

“What are you doing?” He asked, mildly pissed off and sounding absolutely done with the whole event

His sour tone startled you, having thought you were alone and you jumped and looked over your shoulder to see none other than Draco Malfoy standing across the room from you

“Fuck- I’m sorry, it’s just-.”

“The ball is a drag, isn’t it?” Draco asked

“What are you doing here?” Draco questioned

“I needed some space, it’s really crowded and-.”

“I meant here, in the manor.” Draco interrupted, though he had softened his voice a lot more than his hostile tone he’d worn earlier

“Oh,” you turned to face him properly and fiddled with your hands “The same reason as everyone else.” You said awkwardly

Of course you were, why had he expected anything different?

Draco remembered you from Hogwarts, he remembered liking you, despite not knowing you well

But what he did know was that you were much more interesting and more eye catching than the other girls currently occupying the manor

“Sweetheart,” Draco sighed, crossing the drawing room floor and approaching you, your attention caught immediately at the name he used for you

“I know you want this as much as you’d want thestral dung, but you are the best out of everyone here. I’ll cut you a deal, we get married, we play house and make it look like we’re the perfect couple but the rest of the time you do and see whoever you want.” Draco proposed

He knew if he didn’t offer, that he might actually have to make it work with someone who wasn’t as agreeable and he also knew you might not run into another good opportunity

He really didn’t want to see you in a miserable relationship

And as he stood there, watching you think about it for a moment, Draco thought it was strange that he was actually scared that you might say no

“I’ll do it.” You nodded, meeting his eyes

You barely knew Draco, bar from the odd moments at school, but he had always been nice to you in your later years there together and he was certainly handsome

There were also many benefits to becoming a Malfoy and it also meant you could be away from your family who had put you up to an arranged marriage without your consent

“You will?” He almost couldn’t believe it and Draco grinned at you, if only for a moment because that was an awful lot of weight off his shoulders.

“Yes, as long as you promise to get me away from my family.” You nodded

“I will, I promise, they won’t get a chance to even come near you again if that’s what you want, love.” Draco assured you.

“Now come, might I invite you for a dance?” Draco asked. Part of him couldn’t wait to see everyone’s reaction

It had been a huge surprise to Narcissa and Lucius that Draco had picked you out of everyone there

Mainly because they’d barely seen you since you entered the manor, but of course they had no idea you’d been hiding out and avoiding another horrendous attempt at matching you with a suitor

Thankfully though, everyone bought the rouse you two put on

It was easy to say you had been sweethearts at school and everyone believed you

It was also easy to act giddy and happy, because even if your happiness was not about marriage, you were both pleased to be heading out of the boring and dreadful process of being matched with someone

It wasn’t long before the wedding was planned and only weeks later was your wedding to take place

Of course, the night Draco had asked you and struck the deal with you in the drawing room, he hadn’t expected anything from you at all

But as the weeks passed and you spent some time together, seeing you in some of your most relaxed and casual states and seeing just how sweet and lovely you were, Draco was starting to wonder if the rouse was not turning into something else now

His feelings only seemed to blossom into something intense when your wedding day came and he caught a glimpse of you in your dress

What on earth was happening? This was supposed to be the easy way out and now he was developing feelings? That was not supposed to happen

But what he didn’t realise was that the same thing was happening to you too

He had no idea you’d had a crush on him nearly all the way through Hogwarts

And he had no clue that your heart had fluttered and soared at the idea of being his wife, even though the deal he pitched to you involved no romance

But as time went on, you slowly began to fall for him too

And as you entered the hall to walk down the aisle in your beautiful wedding gown, beautiful flowing fabrics that fitted and accentuated your figure beautifully, Draco found himself in love

And so did you, setting your eyes on the ashen haired boy, dressed in his all black suit with small elements of green and silver as the accent colours

And it was perfect, because you seemed so perfectly in love with each other than it fooled absolutely everyone

The way you both looked at Draco as if he had hung the moon and stars just for you

It wasn’t until after your vows, when Draco was told he could kiss you that both of you realised you were in love

Draco held you gently, he kissed you sweetly, tentatively at first and slowly to try and make it comfortable for you, but when he felt you lean into him, your fingers trailing over the lapels of his suit jacket until they met at the back of his neck

And Draco barely made it through the party after the wedding without touching you in some way

His hand was on yours the whole time and you were nearly glued to his side too

You both wanted to just get out of there and spend some time alone and talk about your feelings and what this all meant

And you finally got a chance towards the end of the evening to slip out of the party together

“I think I’m in love with you.” You admitted quietly as he walked out into the garden with you, walking you over to a beautiful fountain

“Well that’s lucky,” He smirked. “Because I’m in love with you too.”

And it really was lucky

Because despite the situation that neither of you had wanted to be in and a chance meeting in the drawing room during the party, you and Draco were both grateful that it had happened the way it had, even though you wish it had been in better circumstances

And Draco wished whole heartedly that he’d had the time to really love you before marriage and take you on dates and really know you

So he took it upon himself after your wedding to do all of that

And he moved slowly with you, marriage serving only as a front for now as you explored your love for each other

And no one was none the wiser while you slowly fell more and more in love as time went on

And it was finally a few months into your relationship that things got really serious and Draco dedicated himself to you

“I promise darling, that I will always protect you, no matter what comes our way.” He said, kneeling in front of you as you sat on your bed

And he even gave you a ring, one that was really special, because he’d been able to pick it instead of the wedding ring that his mother had chosen

He called it a soul ring because it represented his bond to you that the wedding ring you had been given could not

Draco counted you both lucky, because there was one thing to be pushed into an arranged marriage, and there was another to go into it thinking he was striking a deal to keep both of you safe, when in reality, it was the thing that brought you both closer

And to allow something Draco had never expected, to fall in love.

#draco x reader #arranged marriage #draco malfoy x reader

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headinthestaticsky · 3 years

Text

Sanctuary with the Enthralling Moon: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 4

Authors notes: I think this is my least favorite chapter I have wrote... but, I hope you guys like it anyway.

All rights go to Stephanie Meyer, none of the characters in Twilight are mine.

“Stay afloat When it feels like it's all going nowhere And you wanna know But the tide keeps trying to pull you under Let it go You can't fight the waves, boy, it's no wonder If you wanna grow Don't fight what's natural.”

Rush by, Kali Uchis

POV: Back to Fleurs.

Today I had woken up on my own and according to my alarm clock, it was already the afternoon. I stumbled down the stairs, almost running into a wall before making my way to the kitchen. I put my head on the table, trying wake myself up. It was crazy how fast the months had gone by. November and December came by in a flash and Leah and I had been hanging out more. I had almost dosed off in the kitchen when I heard my dad speak.

“Hey Petal, Sam called... he wanted to see you today.”

“Sam? I didn’t except him to want to see me.”

“He was asking for you.”

“Okay, I’ll head down there now.”

I felt nervous on my way down there, I wondered why Sam was wanting to see me, why Bella was all of the sudden going down there. I stopped the car and sat there for a moment, collecting my nerves and unanswered questions and putting them in the back of my mind. When I got out I saw Sam, he looked pretty different from last year. His hair was cut short, he was way more buff, and he had a tattoo.

“Hey Fleur.”

“Sam.”

I sighed and then started walking toward the beach, Sam was trailing behind me.

“So... Jacob and Bella huh?” Sam started.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t heard anything about it?”

“No, Bella hasn’t had a civil conversation with me for a solid 5 months.”

“Oh... they’re apparently building dirt bikes down at Billy’s.”

“... She’s trying to kill herself... she won’t make it 5 inches without getting into some kind of accident.”

“Yeah...”

“Look... why did you call me? We haven’t talked for an entire year.”

“ I know you saw Leah yesterday, what did she say to you?.”

“We caught up, and then she told me what happened between you two. Why would you do that to her?”

“Do what?”

“Uh, break up with her after 3 years to then date and get engaged to her cousin? Someone who she was extremely close to mind you.”

“I wish I could tell you Fleur, but it’s complicated.”

“It seems to be all you do lately... You never explained to me why you didn’t want me to date Jasper so bad.”

“Because he’s a...”

“A what? Besides, I’m still dating him... I lived.”

“Of course you’re still with him. Your brain must’ve gotten fried back in Arizona.”

“Hey, don’t you dare insult my intelligence! What is with you? Why are you such a DICK all the time! Besides this isn’t about my relationship, this is about yours!”

“Don’t call me that Fleur.”

“Don’t insult me.”

“Hey, what’s going on down here?”

“Paul, stay out of this!”

“I’ll tell you whats going on, your friend here is being a complete dick!”

“Aww, did he hurt your feelings?” Paul said mockingly.

“Calling someone stupid tends to piss them off.”

“Well you don’t exactly look the intelligent type.”

I whipped my hand back and smacked him, He turned his head back around and started panting heavily. His face was red with anger and rage.

“Fleur... get back. Paul calm down.” Sam said

I slowly took a few steps back. All of the sudden Paul morphed into a wolf, I was frozen in my spot. Paul then took off, away from the beach.

“Sam... saying you turn into a wolf is not complicated... it’s pretty freaking clear. “hey Fleur... I turn into a giant ass werewolf.

“Come on, let’s head back to the house.”

“I would go with you... but I can’t move.”

Sam sighed before picking me up, he started running back down to the house.

“So... I’m going to assume being a werewolf has something to do with what happened Leah huh?”

“Yeah, it does...you see us werewolves have the ability to imprint on someone. This person could be a lover or just have a brother/sister relationship. We’re a protector to that person we imprint on.”

“So you imprinted on Emily...”

“Yeah, the second I locked eyes with her... I couldn’t stop myself from imprinting, it was as if someone else had over taken my body.”

“I get it now, you don’t really have a choice as to who it is, it chooses you.”

“Exactly.”

“Now that I got that part of the context clues it makes you seem way less of a dick...I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“So... if your tribes legend is right, you know that the Cullens are vampires.”

“Yeah we do.”

“Listen, the Cullens are not bad people, they don’t even go after humans.”

“They’re still a bunch of leeches.”

“You need to have some faith in me here Sam. Jasper’s amazing, he would do anything for me. I would do anything for him... we protect each other. Even though, he does a lot more of the protecting than me.”

He sighed

“Okay, okay... I’ll trust him... but that’s about as far as I will go on that.”

“It’s progress...”

Timeskip: A week later

It seems I was always going down to the reservation anymore after meeting Emily and having the whole imprinting thing cleaned up I was hanging around Sam a lot more. Today I was going to visit Billy and Jacob. I wanted to see if those rumors on the dirt bikes were true. Bella still wasn’t talking to me so... I would have to figure it out myself. When I got there I started walking toward an old red shed, I knocked on it, waiting for someone to answer.

“Come in!”

“Hey Jake, it’s been a while!”

“Fleur!” He ran toward me and spun me around in a hug.

“So are the rumors true? Where are the dirt bikes?”

“Yeah...what are you doing here Fleur.” Bellas voice had jumped in, venom leaked out of it.

“You haven’t talked to me in 3 months Bella. When I hear that you’re somewhere I have to investigate it... Me seeing you is a rare phenomena, it’s like it happens every 100 years.”

“Well you saw me, you can leave now.”

“Make me leave.”

“Okay you two, cool it. You can come with us if you want We plan on riding the bikes down by the beach.”

“Oh...”

“No... she will not come with us.” Bella interrupted

“No don’t worry about it... I was going down to Sam’s I thought I would stop by on the way.”

Bella scoffed.

“Of course you’d hang out with Sam, Jake has told me about him, I heard he tries to influence people too.”

“Are you trying to insinuate that I made the Cullens leave, again?”

“Glad to know your brain still works.”

“I’m not starting this with you Bella, you’re not worth it I need to go, Emily is excepting me soon. It was nice to see you again Jake.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you around.” Jake looked between us... he looked trapped, caught in the middle of our childish fight.

POV Change: Bella’s

“Can you believe her Jake? I know she’s just trying to get me in trouble with those bikes... she’s probably on her way home telling Dad right now.”

“What’s up with you and Fleur? I really don’t think she came here to find proof of you doing this just to tell your dad.”

“You don’t know her like I do, she’s a manipulator...”

“I’ve just never known Fleur to be like that...”

“You haven’t been around her long enough to know her like I do... Can we talk about something else please?”

“Sure... we need to go anyway.”

Timeskip: To Sam and Emily’s AND a POV Change: Back to Fleur

Emily was making food in the kitchen, she was excepting the rest of the pack to come over today so she had her hands full. I was peeling potatoes and carrots while talking to Emily. It was nice, it was like talking to an older sister.

“So you Bella aren’t doing so well?”

“No... it was so weird, we had been getting along a lot last year... Then all of sudden we got into a fight in Arizona and we haven’t been the same ever since...”

“I understand how you feel, It’s the same way with Leah and I. Ever since Sam and I got together... it just hasn’t been the same.”

“I might be able to help you out with this one... Let’s say that the situation with Sam was flipped. He was with you, vanished for a week, and then imprinted on Leah when he came back. It would be a lot to take in for someone... I don’t mean to make you sound like the bad guy but... if you put yourself in her shoes, you might understand her a bit better.”

“Yeah, you’re right... I couldn’t imagine how that must feel. But, what do I do?”

“Just give her sometime. I’m positive she’ll come around, the way she talks about you to me seems full of love. She just needs some time apart right now.”

‘Okay, that’s fair... I’ll give her some space... thanks Fleur.”

“No probl...”

“Fleur come quick! Bella hit her head she’s bleeding.” Jacob said, he was panting as he if he ran down here. His shirt was missing too.

“Damn it... I knew she shouldn’t of gotten on those bikes... She trips walking on a flat service with nothing in front of her.”

I ran out of the house, Jake was running quickly behind me, I could see Bella leaning against her truck, holding Jake’s shirt on her head.

“Do you need me to drive you to the hospital?” I asked.

Bella didn’t even look at me, her head was turned to the side.

“Look, you can still hold a grudge against me... we don’t have to talk the entire way. But you literally bleeding out of your head... you need patched up.”

Bella groaned in annoyance, before throwing me her keys. She opened the truck door and then slammed it shut.

“Thanks for tell me Jake, I better go,”

“No problem.”

We didn’t say one word to each other the entire trip to the hospital, nor did we talk the entire ride home. I of course, had to explain to dad why she had a patch on her head.

“She and Jake were walking on the beach, the sand was a bit too slippery and she fell and hit her head on a rock.”

A week had gone by, Bella was even more tense than usual. Jacob had stopped talking to her after an incident at the movie theater with her and Mike. At least, that’s what dad had told me. My dreams with Jasper were getting more real and intense. The last phone call I had with him seemed like the dreams were starting to get to them.

Flashback to phone call.

“I saw you again, you were following me where ever I went, but you disappear before I can talk to you.”

“That’s so strange...”

“One day I’m going to call out for you, and you’re actually going to be there.”

“I hope so, I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too.”

Flashback over

“Petal, Harry and I are going on a fishing trip. Watch out for Bella, if she goes anywhere, follow her. I don’t know how she’s doing right now since Jake is talking to her... We don’t need another woods incident.”

“Sure, no problem.”

It seemed as soon as dad had left, Bella planned on leaving, I caught her before she could reach the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Does it matter?”

“No, I was just planning on going for a walk...I thought I would invite you to go with me.”

“Really? Where did you plan on walking then?”

“To the woods.” I lied on the spot

“Fine... I’ll go with you.”

We walked in the woods for a bit, the only sound I could hear was crunching underneath my feet.

“Do you know why Jake hasn’t talked to me?”

“No.” I half lied, I thought I knew what was happening...Billy had said Jacob had mono and he couldn’t even go outside. But, I thought he was changing, that he would become a werewolf soon.

“Oh come on Fleur, I saw you two talking outside before you went to drive me to the hospital... You want me to be completely isolated from everyone.”

“Are... are you insane? Did that hit you took from the bike accident damage your brain somehow? All I did was thank him for bringing you back.”

“Whatever... this is all your fault!” Bella said, she then sprinted out in the woods, trying to lose me.”

“BELLA!” I yelled and began to chase after her. I found her quickly though, and I saw her hunched on the ground, picking at dead bits of grass. I heard rustling on the other side of the field. Bella heard it too and looked up, she then gasped.

“Laurent?”

#jasper hale x oc #jasper hale #rosalie hale #jasper hale x reader #edward cullen #alice cullen #esme cullen #emmett cullen #carlisle cullen

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colormeyondublue · 3 years

Text

Chapter 8: Trenvik

Chapter 7 Here - Chapter 9 Here

The next morning, you wake up feeling a little nervous. Yondu’s words and anxious behavior are still fresh in your mind. You wonder to yourself who these disloyal men may be. You have an idea who a few might be, but they’ve never really bothered you apart from the occasional catcall. Most of the time if you made a snide comment back, they would leave you alone. You idly get ready and fix your hair in a braid. This morning feels strange.

A knock at your cabin door breaks your train of thought. You head toward the door, putting on that silver bracelet Yondu got you. You open your door and find the most unexpected face there to greet you.

It was Trenvik.

Trenvik was a race that you had never seen or heard of before boarding the Eclector. Kraglin told you he was Chorak. Apparently, they were an isolated kind and they were not sociable. He was…odd to say the least. He has lemon yellow skin, with puke green blotches covering his neck and face. His eyes are a piercing green with yellow speckles, and he has goat-like pupils. His facial features are sharp and hollow, and he is totally hairless. Trenvik leans against the doorframe with two of his 4 arms. The other two arms are above you, all 6 fingers gripping the ledge over your head. He was tall – very tall. You would guess around 7 feet. His body was lanky and lean. You recall he has a very unnerving gait to his walk. Something about him always made you very uncomfortable. Maybe it was the croaking sound that always seemed to seep from his throat when he would pass you on the ship. It could have been the fact that you had caught him staring at you a number of times in the mess. He’s never spoken to you – until now.

“Y/n.”

“Uhh…Hi. Trenvik – right?”

“Why are you hiding – in your room?”

His words are measured and unnerving. You begin to fidget with your feet, gripping the door handle tighter.

“I’m not hiding, I was actually getting ready to get some breakfast.”

“Breakfast? My dear, it’s almost halfway through the day. You are a bit late for that.” His mouth spreads into a nauseating grin. Sharp, needle-like teeth showing beneath his thin lips. He leans in closer to you.

“Oh my gosh! It’s that late?! I had no idea! I’m sorry, Trenvik, I really need to go.” You try to push past him through the doorway and pull the door closed behind you. “It was nice speaking to you!”

“Not so fast.” He grabs you by your wrist and pushes you against the wall next to your door. “Why are you in such a hurry to get away from me?”

“I – I’m not. I’m just late. I have to get to w-work.” You stutter.

He slowly releases his grip on you. His eyes travel up and down your body, as if he is trying to decide if you’re lying or not. “Very well. We can finish this later.” He finally says.

He takes one step back and you turn to run down the walkway toward your office. Trenvik watching you as you flee.

As you reach your office, you slam the door behind you, breathing rapidly. You start to feel tears welling in your eyes when your wrist comm dings. It’s Yondu.

“Yondu?”

“Hey Darlin’, you alright? I haven’t seen ya all day.”

“Yondu! Umm…yeah. I slept through my alarm. And I’ve been dealing with some weird anxiety today. I just feel strange. On top of that, Trenvik came to my door a little while ago.”

“What did he want?” He asked with clear aggravation in his voice.

“I don’t know. He was just trying to talk to me I think, but it felt creepy – like there was something else. His whole demeanor was sketchy.”

“You in yer office?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Stay right there honey, I’m on my way.”

The comm beeped again, and Yondu was gone. You let out a heavy sigh, and sit down at your desk. Music…I need music. You reach for your holopad and pull up the music files that Kraglin got you a few days prior. You begin to find more and more American music. That was a huge comfort to you, regardless of what era the music was from. A song that came through your speakers almost broke you. “Devil’s Backbone” by The Civil Wars. You heard some of their music when you were back home, but this song was new to you.

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what have I done?

I've fallen in love with a man on the run

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I'm begging you please

Don't take that sinner from me

Oh don't take that sinner from me

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, what do I do?

I've fallen for someone who's nothing like you

He's raised on the edge of the devil's backbone

Oh I just wanna take him home...

You begin to think about the events that unfolded that morning with Trenvik. What if something does happen? What if Yondu does make me go back to Earth? I can’t leave him. He’s everything I never knew I needed. He’s brave and strong and true. Sure, he’s a criminal…but I don’t care. Sure, he’s a pirate, but I love him. I don't want to live a life without him in it. You look up at the screen of the holopad and the tears begin to fall. The last thing you want is to be the reason that Yondu runs into trouble with his crew. You don't want to be the reason someone freaks out and he gets hurt. You definitely don't want to put him in a situation where he would have to hurt someone else. He’s been through so much in his life. From being a battle slave all those years ago, being exiled by Stakar, and now he’s questioning his crew’s loyalty.

...Don't care if he's guilty, don't care if he's not

He's good and he's bad and he's all that I've got

Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I'm begging you please

Don't take that sinner from me

Oh don't take that sinner from me

What you didn’t know, is that Yondu was already in the room. He’s been silently standing inside the door listening to the music, hearing the lyrics along with your short breaths.

“Y/n?” His voice is barely above a whisper.

“Yondu!” You whip around, tears evident on your cheeks. “I didn’t hear you come in. What did you need?”

“Baby…what’s wrong? Did Trenvik bother ya?” You think his words over and absentmindedly rub your wrist where Trenvik grabbed you earlier. Yondu sees this and he raises his voice, “Did he put his hands on ya?!”

“Well…yes. He grabbed my wrist in the walkway. I’m a little scared of him, but he didn’t say anything hurtful or inappropriate. I just don't like the feeling he gives me. It’s…intrusive and creepy.”

Yondu's expression then turns angry. Eyes flashing with a seething light. Just as he is about to speak, the comm on his wrist beeps and Kraglin could be heard. “Cap’n, the crew is gathered in the mess fer the meeting.”

“Thanks, Kraglin, I’m headed yer way.” Yondu’s eyes meet yours, and he sees how worried you are. He forces his emotions to calm. “I’m gonna go talk to the crew. I’ll get this settled sweetheart, just ya wait and see.” He caresses your jaw with his hand, and places a single kiss on your lips. “Do ya wanna come with me? Ya can stand by me if that makes ya feel better ‘bout the whole thing?”

“I guess so.” You shrug.

“C’mon, darlin’.” He leads you out the doorway and toward the mess. Once there, you and Yondu walk up toward the officers table at the front. The platform you follow him to is raised and Yondu leans in close to you.

“Stay close ta me, I don’t expect much trouble, but I’d rather be safe in case anyone decides to get stupid.”

You take one small step back, but stay near Yondu’s side. The men in the mess are talking amongst themselves loudly. Kraglin approaches the Captain and murmurs, “Everyone is here sir, they’re all yers.”

Yondu clears his throat and lets out one loud, sharp whistle. His arrow flys up to his ear, and the room is immediately silent. Your heart is beating quickly, and you put your hands behind your back so you can fiddle with your fingers without being seen.

“Now…I bet ya’ll are wonderin’ why I called everyone here. It’s been brought ta my attention that some ‘a y’all think that I am keepin ya on a short leash around y/n fer no reason. It ain't fer no reason. Y/n is off limits, because she’s mine! It’s safe fer ya'll ta assume that she is my girl. I don’t want ta hear another complaint from anyone on this ship about y/n being off limits. If anyone has a problem with that, you are free to depart one of two ways: at our next port, which would be Knowhere, or out the airlock! If I get even the tiniest wind of more talk regarding y/n or this mutiny crap that’s been floating around, I will not hesitate to send this arrow straight through yer skull! Is that clear!?”

A resounding “Yes sir!” echoed through the mess.

“Not a single one ‘a ya is ta lay a hand on her. You do not speak to her in a manner she doesn’t like, and if ya do ya’ll can believe that I will know about it, and I will skin ya alive.”

The murmurs began again as Yondu turns to say something to the first mate. You scan over the crowd nervously. You catch Trenvik staring straight through you from the back of the room. His icy stare sending the worst chills down your spine. You overhear some mention of the Captain going soft, and something about you being his personal whore. The word “whore” lights your blood on fire, and you begin to see red. The murmurers start to get louder and the room is clouded with harsh laughter. The noise starts to get overwhelming. Without thinking, you yell into the room as loud and you can manage. Yondu snaps his head in your direction at the sound of your voice.

“SHUT IT!!” Your fists are clenched and your arms are shaking. Yondu can see the rage burning in your eyes. Anger is an emotion he has never seen you wear before. He isn’t sure if he should stop you, or let you continue. He keeps his eyes on you while you speak.

“Most of you in this room only know me as the Secretary – so to speak. Some of you have never spoken to me, where as some of you,” you glance in Tullk and Geff’s direction and smile softly, “talk to me on a regular basis. Yes, I am in a relationship with the Captain. Yes, I am his girl. Now, I have no authority here, but because I am his girl, I will not tolerate any mention of the Captain going soft! Some of you may have no idea what I am. Some of you might not be familiar with where I’m from. Sure, I’m Terran, but I’m more than that. I am human. We care for our own, deeply. We love, we defend and we protect. We Terrans may be small, we might be weak, and hell, we may not even be that smart by galactic standards – but back on my home planet, we have a saying: It takes a village. The meaning is simple…in order to survive, we have to work together. We have to care about each other. For thousands of years, my people have been beating the odds left and right. We’ve survived hostile environments, fierce predators, and devastating plagues. Just 4 Earth years ago, our global population reached over 7 and a half billion people! We survive because we figured out a long time ago that love is our strength, not our weakness.”

Apart from your words, the room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. You take a big breath in, and continue.

“The point is, this crew could be a whole hell of a lot better off if you guys would trash this idea that caring about someone makes you soft! It’s absolutely ridiculous! Love can bring on a strength in each and every one of you that you never knew you had. It doesn’t even have to be romantic love, it can be something as simple as friendship and respect for one another, and for your Captain. Just know that this entire crew would be so much stronger and much more resilient if you would consider my words. With this knowledge, and with Captain Udonta at the helm, this crew could do anything!”

The crew just stares back at you, with a mixture of bewilderment and confusion on their faces.

“However, Rome wasn’t built in a day. So…just think about it.” You smirk confidently, and cross your arms.

Yondu just stares at you. It’s hard to read what he’s thinking, as he remains expressionless. He looks back out over the crew. “Yer dismissed. Get back ta work!”

Kraglin discreetly says something to Yondu, and he glances at you before leaving the mess as well. Shit…I might have way overstepped my boundaries. Yondu is probably pissed. Great.

Yondu turns to you. “Yer done with yer work fer the day. Come with me.” You follow Yondu out of the mess and straight to his quarters.

#Yondu and The Secretary #Yondu Udonta #yondu x reader #marvel #fanfic #gotg #gotg fanfiction #ravager #kraglin obfonteri #kraglin #eclector

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wowsoboring · 3 years

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Deconstructing Baseless Harry Potter Arguments#2 (i) : Harmione Edition

Obviously I once again do not mean to target all Harmione shippers. I know quite a few who're very good human beings and tolerant and accepting above all. However these aren't. In this case, you might sense quite a bit of levelheadedness in the beginning, however you must not be fooled as it goes south and takes a nasty turn very quickly. Don't get your hopes up, this is some of the worst shit I've ever seen, especially the way in which it progresses through its course. Naturally, for this post I have picked my own style of writing which will match that of those redditors. Reddit is the perfect breeding ground for all these weird cults, honestly. I shall be resorting to a formal language and style of conversation, very much like a debater would to sound as pretentious as these do. These posts are found on the instagram handle toxicharmonyshippers who gather such toxic musings and sayings for Harmione shippers while respecting the ones that are nice.

Oh yes, let's use words like 'vehemently' to sound smart, why not? Of course, this little tidbit of the highly stupendous post seems more or less civil at the start. They also have the common decency to say "some Romione shippers" rather than generalizing all of us. Very nice of you, how very saint like. Let's wait till they drop the act and show us their true colors. Harkening back to the argument, I have but one question for you, "where do you find these people?". Where's the proof? Who are these radical Romione shippers who worship Ron and dislike Hermione? I haven't seen any such shippers and I am surrounded by Romione shippers on tumblr, instagram and fan fiction sites as well and haven't met the people you speak of. Some point out her flaws, yes, but no one hates her or dislikes her that much. I have seen two or three Romione shippers across hundreds and thousands who're skeptical of Hermione's perfection. Skeptical. Not hating, disliking, or anything. Of course, unlike this person, I have evidence: find these pi charts for your referral (clickable): https://imgur.com/a/QfPnQbB

you can, through these, see the amount of Hermione bashing across Harry Potter fanfiction and you can see that even in Romione fanfiction there's more Ron bashing. Hermione-bashing is a non-issue. That's what it is. Regarding the "nagging" statement, where's the lie in that? "Annoying" is somewhat subjective, I personally don't find her annoying at all. Who are these people and how often do you find them? "Mary Sue" is only reserved for Movie!Hermione. I have only seen book fans call her that. No one has ever called Book!Hermione Mary Sue. The movie does paint her as a flawless, all-rounder who's also drop-dead gorgeous. Only things she's bad at are flying and divination, all of which she denounces as useless, even though flying is like biking for wizards, divination, sure, not that important. with a teacher like Trelawney, even I would denounce it as hokum.

Remember what I said about waiting for them to show us their true colors, well here they are. Bask in the glory of their senseless arguments. Why, I am from reddit, heck I have 25 thousand karma points on there, I just left because it was too stupid for me but I can argue like them very well. And in this case I would like to say that these people are under the impression that Ron is just there in the story for the sake of existence. And he doesn't work hard. That argument is of course, wrong. Because Ron (in no particular order):

1) fights a troll when he's 11

2) is willing to sacrifice himself when he's 11

3) stands up for his friends

4) makes sure Harry feels like he belongs in the family

5) worries about Harry and rescues him from literal jail

6) stands up against Draco rather than by-standing and enabling his behavior

7) tries his level best to make sure Norbert the dragon is in safe hands and carries it out, albeit not in perfection

8) is with Harry every step of the way in his confronting the basilisk

9) sends Harry and Hermione long letters and calls them often to check up on them

10) stands up on a bitten leg to defend his best friend

11) always apologizes for any of his mistakes and is forgiving when others wrong him

12) works his way to join the Quidditch team unlike Draco who most certainly bought his way in

13) destroys at least 2 horcruxes

14) finds out how to defeat a horcrux

15) has an excellent enough memory and observation to notice Harry speaking parseltongue and also using it to his benefit which proves he's resourceful

now since I have 8 more such pictures to rebut and I do have a life, I will stop. These aren't even a twelfth of the remarkable things Ron has done though, so rest assured.

oh wait what did you say about him just existing and not working for anything? If I recall correctly, he did just as well as Harry did in school and didn't score well only in subjects he didn't care about. Which is true for most people except for Hermione who has an eidetic memory which not everyone has, understandably. Rote memorization is not the best way to get by in life, by the way.

what are the "so many reasons" behind why Harry is the best fit for Hermione? Kindly share so I can rebut those too, I'm rather free nowadays, my finals have been cancelled. You say there are so many reasons but don't even give one, yet you want me to take you seriously. I'm afraid that's impossible.

Romione shipper here, i don't dislike Hermione. I haven't met or seen many people in the book!romione fandom who dislike Hermione (except for Movie!Hermione). The question of someone you like ending up with someone you dislike doesn't particularly make sense. In Friends, Chandler ends up with Monica: now I'm not the biggest Monica fan (I don't hate her but I don't like her very much either) but they are my favorite couple because they make sense. It's about compatibility and character traits, not liking or disliking because that's just a set-up for a ghastly invitation for people to pair up hideousness. "Oh yeah, I like Harry and I also like Hagrid, they should be together. I mean it would be very very disgusting but that's my logic, now, you can't fight it. "- that's how you sound. Please read what you write. Your logic is just...abysmal. That's all I can say without breaking my resolve and berating you with colorful profanities.

This is without the doubt, the easiest one to rebut. It's a delight to see such terrible arguments at my disposal. Come on, dear Harmione shippers, write something that makes me question my choices, not things that make me scoff in disbelief.

In this case, you're essentially providing us with theories. Unproved theories and speculation of what you believe because you'd say anything you like. Where's the proof of your theory, though? Where is that crazy radical Romione shipper who does this? Kindly show me these people. Oh yes, you wanna say we objectify Hermione and disrespect her and view her as a prize. This aches me, that you believe this. No one has ever insinuated this, ever, in the history of anything. What is this winner-loser theory? How do you round off Harry Potter to "an alpha-male ends up with lead-lady" trope and still say you're a fan of the series? Harry Potter doesn't fit in with that format. Ron, Hermione and Harry are co-heroes. Similar to how there's no main character in Friends or the Heroes of Olympus series or the Avengers. We're not living in the 80s anymore. Hermione will be a hero, invariably whether she ends up with Harry, Ron or no one. She ends up with Ron and that's it. Talking about her like this doesn't make you sound any better either. Now you're calling me a misogynist because I don't support the ship of two people who describe themselves as siblings. That's very mature of you. Well here's the thing- I'm not a misogynist. It's as simple as that. I believe that women are capable of anything and everything. I believe Hermione is an amazing person and she is a hero and a different person. I believe the series would be impossible without her. I believe she is no one's prize. There's no requirement of a prize. I just think, similar to canon and the truth and her romantic interest, she will have a great relationship with Ron. There's nothing complex or deep about it, really. No personal weird-thing, no psychological complex, no internalized misogyny. There's nothing deeper than what I said. I am not sexist. I am a feminist. I am all for women empowerment. I love women with the fabric of my being. I love Hermione. I think she's amazing. You only become sexist when you ship people with unstable power dynamics, a bully-victim relation or something of the sort. Neither Romione, nor Harmione are sexist. Heck if you paired Neville with Hermione you wouldn't be sexist. And I hate talking about this so much, I can't even tell you. This talk does make it sound like I treat Hermione like an object and I assure you I respect her and I normally won't talk like this unless someone just outright calls me sexist for something that's not sexist. And this is that situation.

in the case of Romione, no one is too good for anyone. Both are amazing people who're heroes and have done amazing work. That's all I have to say. There's no league, they are romantically interested in each other. I have no intention on sounding lame, but, in love there is no league. As long as you're not putting in any effort and are extremely lazy and leech off of your partner, there is no such concept and no, Hermione is not "too good" for him. Unless of course you're talking about movie Hermione, who is too good for anyone.

5) (halftime!)

oh yes they try to pull this off and wonder why we hate them. Classic. This person likes to sound british, so let's switch up our language, yeah? At least then I won't be out of my element. Let me correct ya, Ron at his best is an amazing, loyal, friendly, brave, strategic hero. There you have it. Ron and 'git' can't be used in the same sentence. Now if you talk about Ron's achievements, I re-iterate you to point two. If it's too much work, here:

1) fights a troll when he's 11

2) is willing to sacrifice himself when he's 11

3) stands up for his friends

4) makes sure Harry feels like he belongs in the family

5) worries about Harry and rescues him from literal jail

6) stands up against Draco rather than by-standing and enabling his behavior

7) tries his level best to make sure Norbert the dragon is in safe hands and carries it out, albeit not in perfection

8) is with Harry every step of the way in his confronting the basilisk

9) sends Harry and Hermione long letters and calls them often to check up on them

10) stands up on a bitten leg to defend his best friend

11) always apologizes for any of his mistakes and is forgiving when others wrong him

12) works his way to join the Quidditch team unlike Draco who most certainly bought his way in

13) destroys at least 2 horcruxes

14) finds out how to defeat a horcrux

15) has an excellent enough memory and observation to notice Harry speaking parseltongue and also using it to his benefit which proves he's resourceful

hey, see, I like Ron and I took the time to copy-paste this instead of asking you to scroll up. And I'm a lot of bad things but I am not lazy. I stick to my deadlines like Hermione. I start my homework in library class and continue it during phys ed the day its given. And I am not exaggerating. Bloody hell, I wish I was. I'm the ceo of deadlines, mate, don't tempt me! So you can see that Ron is much more than just a "nice bloke". And being a "nice bloke" isn't a bad thing either. He's all the things I said: intuitive, strategic, helpful, loyal and on top of that he's also a nice person. Yes, I do see a bit of myself in Ron. I do. I see the insecure side. I waste my time hating myself and criticizing myself and undermining myself, telling me I'm no good. But Ron overcomes that. He inspires me to appreciate myself. Is that a bad thing? Are you going to shame me for having a low self-esteem? Do you want to worsen my low self-esteem and make me feel more like shit?

Now the person who replied to your comment saying, "he isn't a nice bloke most of time.", he is. He is not being nice twice in a span of 7 years. How often do you act rudely or with jealousy? Wasn't Harry yelling at everyone in caps lock in OOTP. Now I don't condemn him for that because he's a fucking hormonal teenager like me and that would make me a hypocrite, but by your logic why don't you condemn him? Or why not condemn Hermione for saying "I only date good Quidditch players" and shoving canaries at Ron's face because someone else kissed him, while she kept using Krum and Cormac to make him jealous. She wasn't being a nice girl, then, was she? Now, once again, i don't dislike her or hold that against her because guess what, mate, I'm a hormonal teenage girl who gets jealous most of the time and would probably react in a similar fashion in the spur of the moment (Not defending her actions here, just putting myself in her shoes.) In short, Ron is a nice bloke MOST OF THE TIME.

It would be misogynistic to think that. The thing is, NO ONE DOES my dear friend! My dear daft friend. I have never heard anyone say that! why are you so hell-bent on portraying us as misogynists when no one ever says that? Stop assuming. Just stop. You are crossing a limit here, aren't you? Yes you are. You cannot say these sort of things. We never said that or believed that, no one ever said this to be a reason to ship Romione. God what is wrong with you? Literally, stop fucking ASSUMING god damn it! Do you want me to assume things about Harmione shippers? Do you want me to go there? Because I will go there! I will go there the moment you tell me to. Just challenge me.

Ron is not a perfect best boi , the reason why so many of us like him is that he's imperfect and tries to become better through the course of time. You are once again assuming and I am once again asking you to stop.

Ron might be an ordinary wizard. He might be poor, sure, but he's a pure-blood and won't face much if he chose not to fight. But he did. He fought. Now I identify with Ron's attitude a fair bit, but I am also likely to spend my day in a library without noticing. People aren't one dimensional. Stop trying to act like you're a psychologist, i know you're not. I don't even think Hermione's overbearing at all! You just insulted someone you're a big fan of. Jesus.

Both Hermione and Ron are strategic, jealous, passionate, feisty, argumentative, intellectual...

that's like 6 similarities. They aren't polar opposites in the slightest. Their differences are just: workaholic, not workaholic. Nerd, not a nerd. Like that's fucking it, man!

being relaxed doesn't make you less independent or driven. A relaxed and levelheaded Hermione will think through things, not be impulsive, not panic etc. She doesn't need Ron. I don't understand your obsession with acting like we ever insinuated that. Then she doesn't need Harry either lol. Stop shipping her with Harry, then or like shut the fuck up. Being a bit relaxed won't stop her or anyone from hitting great strides. Just don't get relaxed to the point you're lazy and casual about everything, that's it.

What do you mean? Ron is balanced. He does finish his work on time. And even if he does procrastinate, she could also help him not and be more driven. Of course, this is an open invitation for you to call me a sexist bitch because I said that she could help him and now you'll think her goal is to help him become better yada yada yada. Fuck off. Defeating the horcrux taught him enough. He respected her. He remembered about the elves when she didn't. He begged to be tortured instead of her. He wouldn't need it because school work and jobs are different and the same person might perceive those differently. Calmness and relaxation doesn't hinder your potential. Not caring and laziness does. You can't function if you work and are stressed 24/7 with zero breaks. Period.

10)

No i do not want (nor does anyone want) Hermione to become Ron. Being slightly calmer doesn't change up your personality. I'm sure many people dislike those sort of fanfics without a doubt. I hate OOC and I don't want Hermione to lose her intellect with Ron because that makes no sense. Ron himself is intellectual and loves arguing with her. They'd boost each other, more like it.

-------

okay thats it i am exhausted as fuck. thanks for reading, i appreciate it. notes and reblogs are appreciated, this takes work.

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melancholyofeos · 3 years

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Forever and Ever (Tsukishima Kei x Reader)

A/N: This might be triggering for some audience. Reader's discretion is advised.

Forever and Ever (Tsukishima Kei x Suicidal!Fem Reader)

Word Count: 2,652

Tsukishima's Point of View

The number you have dialed cannot be reached, please try again later.

Shit! Why is she not answering her phone?! My heart beating fast, I ran towards the parking lot of our building. I knew something was off! Why did I even go to work?!

I walked towards the car, slamming the door open frantically. The moment I sat in the driver's seat, I immediately put the key in the ignition. Not bothering to put my seat belt on, I drove fast out of the parking lot to get home.

I floored the acceleration pedal and drove off into the street. The sky glowing a faint orange color, the sun started to set. The darkness slowly enveloping the sky, my car drove thread through the busy street full of passersby.

I can't help but reminisce all the time Y/N and I have spent together. It might be out of character for me to say this but our past feels like once upon a time.

I sighed. I get that having a part-time job is hard but I didn't know it would be this hectic. Who the hell let all these people in, anyway? The coffee shop is packed today, probably because it's the week before the exam.

"Miss, can I sit here?" I heard a man said on the other side of the room. He was asking the girl who's sitting by the window.

"Oh... Uhm... I'm sorry but I don't want to." She thought long hard. It looks like she doesn't want to but also didn't want to offend the guy. "What a fucking bitch. It's not like I'm asking for anything else." The man raised his voice.

Some people prefer their space, and this guy is just plainly crossing the line. I don't want to do extra work but the sight is bothering me. I went over and approached them.

"Hey, no need to raise your voice. The lady said she doesn't want to, now back off." I said, glaring at the guy. "Is this what the employees in this coffee shop do? Let me talk to the manager."

I rolled my eyes at him and replied. "Is this what shitty customers do? Go ahead and call the manager since you're already talking to him." I smirked at him and crossed my arms.

The crowd inside the coffee shop gave him dirty looks and he looked humiliated. Out of defeat, he walked through the small coffee shop and headed outside.

The girl bowed herself slightly and muttered, "Thank you."

"It's nothing," I replied and went back to my work. After I got the orders of the people in line and delivered them on the back of the cashier and the others got to work.

I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I looked to my side and saw Daichi-san giving me a thumbs up. "You did great out there." He smiled.

"Oh, I'm sorry for saying I was the manager. I just-"

"It's nothing, Tsukishima. I'm impressed. You would make a good manager." He said. Daichi-san is also a part-timer. He's older than me for two years and is graduating this year.

I gave him a firm nod and went to do other tasks like delivering the coffees to the customers' table. The girl who was harassed earlier sat quietly as she reads over her notes.

I can't help but look over her way as I pass through the tables of the coffee shop. Ugh, Kei, what are you doing?

The girl didn't leave, even when my shift's almost over. She's not the usual customers that we have here, the kind that orders one cup of coffee and stays for the whole day. She orders almost every hour, mostly snacks. But she is drinking a lot of coffee.

By the time my shift ended, she stood up and left.

Coincidentally, this happened every day. She would hang around the coffee shop for a whole day on weekends and a few hours on weekdays. Another coincidence is that she always goes home by the time my shift is over.

One day, I came in late and saw her already seated on her usual spot. This might be my imagination but her face lighted up when she saw my face. We made eye contact for a few seconds before she turned away and looked at her notes again.

This baffled me for the whole day. Was she interested in me? Or maybe my mind's just playing games? The whole day, we would lock gaze every time each one of us came into sight.

I'll be lying if I said I didn't feel nervous and my heart didn't beat faster.

By the time my shift ended that weekend, she stood up and fixed her things, and head over to the door. Before she could reach the door handle, I ran to her and caught her by the wrist.

She looked at me with her beautiful eyes. Curiously, she looked at my hand and her face grew hot. Feeling awkward, I let go and bowed.

"W-What is it?" She asked softly. I gazed at her and tried to form words but I was a stuttering mess. Kei, when did you become this way?

"I-I was thinking if maybe... we could hang out sometime?" Damn it! That's too straightforward! I should've been more civil. She might reject me because I asked this stupid question.

She looked at me with her (eye color) orbs and gave me a sweet smile.

"I would like that." And then she left.

And so we did. We hang out the day after. And then the day after, and then the day after. Being around her felt comfortable and somehow, familiar. She feels like home. I've never clicked with someone like this. The last time I found someone who felt right was when I befriended my best friend, Tadashi.

Two years later, I graduated from college. We were together for those two years. I'm older by a year and so, she's still in college. In our first year as a couple, we moved in together. It was rushed, but it felt right.

Now, I'm heading over to our apartment out of alarm because of the message she sent me a few minutes ago.

'I love you so much, Kei. I will always love you, you know that right?'

Her message felt odd. It's not a sweet letter. When I first read it, instead of sweetness, shivers went through my spine. I didn't even ask my boss if I could leave. I just straight up went to the parking lot and drove away.

I might get in trouble for this but I don't care.

Y/N felt odd today. She smiles and gives hugs and kisses just like usual but it doesn't feel right. Maybe I'm just overreacting.

I was having a hard time putting on my necktie when Y/N went over to me and took over.

"You know you were never good at this. Just ask for my help, okay?" She smiles as she fixed the mess I made. "Yes, ma'am," I replied.

"You should try smiling more. If I hadn't introduced you to our friends properly, they would've thought you're a snob." She joked and laughed lightly.

"Really? Do I look like that to you?" I asked her and glared at her.

"There, all done. Hmm... yes?" She said and ran her palms on my clothed chest. "But I can love a snob as long as he's you." She squeezed my cheek.

My face heated up. I didn't want to tell her that her teasing got through me but she knows me too well.

"S-Shut up." I muttered. She laughed loudly and smacked me in the chest. "You're such a Tsundere, Kei." I ignored her little comment.

"You should prepare now. You have classes later, right?" I asked.

"Mhmm. You should worry about yourself more. I can take care of myself." She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. I disregarded it, as I thought that maybe my eyes are just playing with me.

Y/N has always been open to me. She tells me everything, even what she's feeling. I'm the one who doesn't open up. But she figured that out already.

I left and went to work.

I shouldn't have.

I almost got into an accident because of my overspeeding but I managed to get home safely. I ran to the lobby and caught the closing elevator doors. My foot tapped impatiently as I wait for it to get onto my floor.

The moment the doors opened, I dashed out and ran. I ran, my heart beating in my ears. The adrenaline course through my body, as If I'm fighting life and death.

I swiped my card and opened the door frantically.

I was greeted by silence. I ran through the whole apartment and saw her nowhere. She isn't here.

While I was contemplating where Y/N might've been, my phone rang loudly.

It's Tadashi.

"Hello?" I asked.

"K-Kei! Did you get a message from Y/N?! She's-" He asked, panicked.

My blood ran cold. Why does it feel like there's something bad that might happen?

"What happened?! Just spit it out, Tadashi!" I asked again, scared of what he might reply.

"I... I don't know how to say this. Maybe... you should come over to the roof."

W...What's happening?

Before I can even decide to come to the roof, my feet already took over. Tadashi greeted me with tears in his eyes. He hugged me tightly, for some reason I didn't know about.

Eventually, he released me as he let out loud sobs. His eyes drifted on the other side of the roof and tears rolled down my cheek.

My Y/N.

She hanged herself.

She's lying on the ground with a coat supporting her head, probably Tadashi's. Her neck has these marks, and there's a white rope lying beside her head. I broke down, right there in front of Tadashi even though I did not want to.

My knees felt wobbly, and I fell to the ground. Tadashi was quick to assist me, as he leaned down and tried to help me up.

Why?

Why did you do it?

Realizing that I'm over here being a fucking pussy, I ran to her side and hugged her upper body.

"Call the fucking ambulance! What the hell are you doing, standing there?!" I shouted at him. Tears fell in his eyes as he replied.

"I already did. They're already coming this way but when I checked her pulse... she's... cold. There's no sign of life, Kei..."

"No! You're lying! You're such a fucking liar!" I looked down at my Y/N, her face pale. She looks peaceful.

"How... could you be at peace when you just left me? Does this make you happy, Y/N?" I asked. Tadashi put his hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down.

"Fuck! If I stayed here with you the whole day, then maybe you're still alive! No, because if I did stay here, you would definitely be alive."

"It's not your fault, Kei..." Tadashi comforted. But his words don't get through to me. They sounded stupid.

"Tell me this is just some lame-ass joke, Y/N! You better open your eyes now and tell me this is all a prank!" I shouted. I waited but she wouldn't open her eyes.

The loud sound of the wind howled in my ear. I felt a presence envelop me by the shoulder. I should be cold, but I'm not. It's almost as if... it's comforting me.

"Is that you, Y/N? Why do you have to comfort me now when you should've stayed by my side forever..."

The faint sound of sirens can be heard all the way here in the roof. After a few more minutes, the medics came to check out what happened. One medic took my Y/N away from my embrace and I really wanted to kill them but I had to let go.

If I wanted her to live... I should let go.

She was long gone before she could even reach the hospital. Tadashi was right. It's been a few hours now but it still hasn't sunk in my mind. What's her reason?

What could possibly be the reason that she wanted to die? Did I do anything wrong? Was I the reason?

They say she would stay in the hospital morgue and there's no point with me staying back. So I went home.

As I opened the door, her scent got through me. Her perfume... it's all over the place. Tears started to prickle in my eyes but I went ahead and walked inside the room.

I plopped down in our bed.

Ugh. What a day.

I looked at her side of the bed and realized that there's a letter resting on her bedside table. I hurriedly took it but was gentle enough to not destroy the envelope.

Fuck.

"Dear Kei, I'm sorry I did this. I know this is a shock to you. I know what you're thinking, 'who the hell wouldn't get shocked by this?' and I know that. I left you alone. But please hear me out, if you will. You are the best thing that ever happened in my life. That day when you rescued me in the cafe, I was thinking of killing myself. I was so stressed, I thought I might fail. By that time, dad already left us to live with her mistress. Mom said it was my fault for dad leaving because of my college tuition. It's not good for your parents to work hard for money, only for you to fail, right? But I saw you there. You were working hard, and I thought I should too. You gave me the inspiration to work harder and be the best daughter my parents ever had. Meeting you changed my life, Kei. You are so gentle, so kind. You don't like showing your emotions but I already know what goes through your mind. Again, I know what you might be thinking right now. If you made me so happy, why did I left? No, it's not your fault Kei. I felt so depressed, and I just wanted to end it. Dad tried to come back to our life, and I should be happy. But somehow, that hollow feeling inside of me never changed, even when we were together. But at least I knew how it felt like to fall in love. I figured that you would be better off with someone who isn't like me. And if I break up with you, for this reason, you wouldn't let me go. I just want to rest, Kei. Forever. God knows how much I love seeing you next to me every time I wake up but the stress from college and family gets through to me. I'm so sorry for being this weak, you deserved better. I don't know where I might end up, but I promise you we'll meet each other on the other side. I will make sure of it.

I love you so much, my beautiful Kei. Promise me you'll find another girl that you will cherish the way you cherished me. Be happy, have a wife and a family. I wish you all the best in the world. But I had to go. I put all my letters to our friends in my drawer, can you distribute them? Don't cry, okay? I would always be with you. By the way, I have other recorded messages. Play one every time your birthday comes. Visit me at least every day, okay? I want you to speak for me at the funeral. I want to show everyone how beautiful my boyfriend is.

I'm yours, eternally.

Love, Y/N"

I would never forget you, my Y/N.

I'm also yours... eternally.

Wait for me...

I'll see you on the other side.

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyu #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima oneshot #tsukishima x you #tsukishima angst #tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x Y/N #oneshot #suicidal #angst

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kashimos-hajime · 4 years

Text

dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries.

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too.

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever?

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.

More on that later. I’m tired.

God, why him?

I HATE THIS.

goodnight.

Nov. 16/20

Dear Jane,

James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.

I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.

He said he did, too.

I don’t know why I think he’s lying. No, I do.

It’s because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks she’s relevant to society.

That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.

P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.

Nov. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothing’s left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.

I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. It’s hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.

It’s 2:32AM. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen but I’m confined to bed rest so I don’t know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I don’t want to bother her.

Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.

Nov. 24/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry we haven’t caught up in a moment. Work’s been hectic and I’ve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days I’m in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.

James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.

He broke up with his girlfriend, too.

Guess that’s why he was being weird about it.

I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldn’t be for the company because when I’m in work mode, I just don’t talk and he knows that.

He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.

I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.

Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and James’ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.

I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didn’t.

Girl code.

It’ll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas season’s coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.

Yay, me.

Dec. 4/20

Dear Jane,

Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like “You boyfriend?” But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.

Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I don’t care if she’s the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.

On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said I’d think about it. Normally I’d just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.

Might just go alone. I don’t know.

Pep said I should take James, but I don’t really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said he’d find me a date if I couldn’t.

Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.

He knows me so well. I’m thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and I’ll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.

I cannot wait.

Dec. 12/20

Dear Jane,

I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.

Thoughts on black and gold?

I think it’s beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. We’re having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so that’s exciting.

James asked if we could meet up tonight.

I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.

I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like we’re fine, we’re best friends still, but something’s changed when no one was looking. He’s single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.

I don’t exactly mind but it’s not ideal either. I miss summer. It’s much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.

Summer: there’s just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.

Look, I love winter. It’s my favourite season. It’s quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and I’d rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where it’s warm and toasty.

I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.

Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.

Dec. 16/20

Dear Jane,

T-minus nine days until the party.

No date in sight.

Maybe I’ll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and he’s nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. I’ll head down tomorrow and ask.

Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.

Dec. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tony’s Christmas Party failed. Granted, it could’ve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.

I wish I meant Sam.

Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.

Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didn’t have a date either.

He doesn’t know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.

Notice how I said “didn't” have a date.

Guess who’s going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?

Me.

Yippee.

Dec. 18/20

Dear Jane,

It’s 3:42AM and I’m in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.

I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and it’s making me smile like an idiot.

Oh, shit, he knows I’m in here. He’s making milkshakes.

I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.

Goodnight, Jane.

Dec. 24/20

Dear Jane,

I’m not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.

This is a resolute promise. An early New Year’s resolution.

Dec. 25/20

Dear Jane,

Merry Christmas!

In between jovial festivities, I’ve finally found a little nook that’s quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, I’m exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.

Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said “Open When Alone” and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. It’s gold and thin and it feels wonderful. There’s a little cat paw charm on it and it’s so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.

It’s just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.

Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.

Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: we’re just friends. I’m not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. That’s just gross.

You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. It’s all very depending on how this night turns out.

Dec. 26/20

Dear Jane,

Fuck.

P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.

Dec. 27/20

Dear Jane,

I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.

I am SO GLAD we haven’t gotten called in because James doesn’t leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.

He’s a good kisser. His lips are soft.

Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.

God, this is a dream come true. He doesn’t even question it, he just

It’s like I’m a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and it’s like he’ll do anything I ask. And we act like it’s normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.

Best Christmas ever.

Dec. 28/20

Dear Jane,

I feel like I’m ignoring you but I’m also having the best sex of my life. He’s just… so fucking good and it’s a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.

Love at first meeting isn’t real.

Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.

Dec. 29/20

Dear Jane,

It isn’t just the sex, you know? It’s the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each other’s presence. It’s enough like that, you know?

Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but I’m too lazy to look it up. James’ head is in my lap and he’s just reading while I’m writing and everything seems perfect.

He doesn’t ask what I’m writing because he knows it’s private and I trust him.

This is perfect.

I think I really am IN love with him.

Jan. 1/21

You know that cliché/tradition of New Year’s kisses?

WELL THEN.

Best (and worst) New Year’s ever. I’ll explain more later. I’m too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.

See you when I’m not hungover.

Jan. 5/21

Dear Jane,

I’m finally stable enough to write.

In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Year’s Day’s events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasn’t a fight but then it became one and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.

Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.

Tony came into my room and didn’t say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I don’t know how he knows, but then again, it’s Tony.

He just said love’s tough sometimes.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I’m thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.

Jan. 6/21

Dear Jane,

James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if he’s going to come up to me. We’ll see.

I’m only writing this so it seems like I’m busy. I’m running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? What’s the point in staring like that? What’s the point?

I could ask myself the same question. What’s the point in loving someone who’ll never love you? Yeah, he’s sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like he’s allergic to intimacy.

It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.

Maybe it’s something to do with me.

I don’t know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I won’t. I’m not gonna let him win.

Jan. 6/21

He didn’t. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.

I don’t think either of them knows what’s going on, but they have a notion.

Jan. 9/21

Dear Jane,

He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.

I told him I’m going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.

It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.

Shit.

Jan. 14/21

Dear Jane,

Switzerland is lovely.

No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weather’s supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.

No other comment.

Jan. 21/21

Dear Jane,

I lasted all of a week.

Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.

I dunno. I’m over it. We don’t apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didn’t want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.

Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.

He said, and I quote, “Bucky? When did I stop being James?”

I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.

I guess if he’s still James, that must mean I’m still special.

That’s the Tony-inherited ego talking.

But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that I’m special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesn’t really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I can’t complain too much.

We’re going home in a few days.

I’ll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steve’s shield that I do.

Jan. 24/21

Dear Jane,

I get three Steve’s shields because I was right every single fucking day.

He’s like a habit I can’t quite kick and don’t really want to.

We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.

Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think we’re being mutually exclusive right now, so it’s almost dating.

I dunno. I don’t mind it anymore. It’s better than nothing.

Feb. 2/21

Dear Jane,

I’m absolutely miserable.

I’m still getting laid, but that’s not related. Correlation and causation or something.

Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?

I don’t know. Winter is ending and now it’s in that awful transition phase between seasons and it’s mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so I’m gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.

He doesn’t like the muck either. That’s not really relevant, I guess.

Feb. 14/21

Dear Jane,

I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense I’ve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.

What a wretched holiday.

Yours truly.

Feb. 18/21

Dear Jane,

Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.

Not James.

He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.

No other observations.

Feb. 25/21

Dear Jane,

It was Morgan’s birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretary’s birthday party and the team doesn’t really know what’s happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.

I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.

I’m lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.

It occurs to me that I’ve been in love for a pretty long time and I’m not even in a relationship with the guy.

Energy could’ve been devoted to so many other things and I’d hate being in love if it weren’t for the fact that it’s James.

Again, love making me sappy and all that.

Feb. 28/21

Dear Jane,

Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.

I wonder if James knew that.

Mar. 10/21

Dear Jane,

It’s James’ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. I’m excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but I’m gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.

I think, ordinarily, I’d be in knots because it’s James’ birthday and I love him and he’s my best friend, but I just don’t know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.

Mar. 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s raining and doesn’t feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because he’s not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and he’s on antibiotics. Poor boy. He’s sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think I’ll just work from my room for a bit until he’s feeling better.

Nothing much to report, which is why I didn’t write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesn’t work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isn’t the same.

April 1/21

James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasn’t though. In true April Fool’s tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where you’re so exhausted you’re wide awake.

James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.

Who am I to say no to celebrating?

He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didn’t understand anything he said at first.

He told me he loved me.

I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Don’t ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I don’t know.

I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.

It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.

Or, the sickest practical joke.

Consensus not yet reached.

April 2/21

Dear Jane,

I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.

He did not.

Sickest practical joke confirmed.

April 9/21

Dear Jane,

I’ve been avoiding writing because I’ve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and James’ confession is all I can think about. Tony’s on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.

Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.

I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this situation where I’m stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom I’m in love with. Minus the drunk part.

Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until it’s finished so we’ll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.

May 1/21

Dear Jane,

It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.

Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isn’t.

Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.

I’m going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.

Felt weird considering we aren’t a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.

The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.

May 6/21

Dear Jane,

For context, it’s 5:23AM.

Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head it’s still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like we’re the tabloid’s biggest scoop.

We weren’t even holding hands, but I guess it’s just another reason why we shouldn’t be TOGETHER together in public.

We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if he’s pursuing other options, because I’m not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I don’t ruin it. He thinks I don’t notice but how do I not notice? He’s my best friend.

I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.

I guess that means something.

May 17/21

Dear Jane,

In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragons’ new album. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it could’ve been better. Whatever.

May 22/21

Dear Jane,

Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.

I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.

That’s how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.

She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it must’ve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.

I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and that’s going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.

Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.

Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.

June 3/21

Dear Jane,

It’s starting to dry up consistently, now. It’s getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.

It’s nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesn’t have to worry about how to tell the guy she’s in love with that she loves him.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.

And Nat is scary when not listened to.

Much to brainstorm about.

June 14/21

Dear Jane,

Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought I’d preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Work’s catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. I’ve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.

Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Haven’t thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.

June 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.

So much for simplicity.

In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but he’s never a bother.

Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. There’s nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two people’s summers are going well. Bully for them.

Didn’t really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didn’t feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.

I’ll make it work somehow.

June 22/21

Dear Jane,

I got my wish and didn’t at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.

In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.

What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.

He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that “no, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.”

He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know he’s just trying to avoid me.

God, how am I so stupid?

June 25/21

Dear Jane,

I haven’t seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out he’s out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I don’t know.

I wasn’t assigned to that op so the details weren’t shared liberally. Sam just said it’d be a while during the ambassador’s entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.

I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I don’t know how he’s focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.

I love you.

Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I might’ve just irreversibly messed things up.

July 12/21

Dear Jane,

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, it’s because I am indeed crying while writing this.

James was medically evac’ed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.

There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.

Holy shit, I’m so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. It’s like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and he’s squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.

I just want to hold his hand but he’s so high risk no one’s allowed to see him right now.

The waiting room is too quiet. Steve’s holding on to Girlfriend’s hand so hard I think her bones are broken but she’s taking it like a champ. Nat’s pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who she’s carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so scared.

July 13/21

They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and he’s stable now.

It’s really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so I’m just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.

When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was “I’m an idiot.”

Granted, he’s right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.

I feel sort of guilty.

It’s partially my fault, isn’t it?

I think I’ll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.

July 14/21

Dear Jane,

James woke up today. He’s still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but he’s conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldn’t, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.

I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.

He’s so fucking romantic, even when he’s lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.

Oh, and he kissed me. I don’t think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. It’s a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.

July 18/21

Dear Jane,

We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesn’t say anything about it. We’re best friends, after all, but I think they’ve known for a long time that there’s something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.

I won’t have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.

I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s home.

He’s kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where he’s dozing, curled up underneath James’ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure he’s okay.

I’m going to go kiss him now.

Be right back.

July 21/21

Dear Jane,

It’s almost Nat’s birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and I’m helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, he’s still super banged up, so it’s better safe than sorry.

We had a really long talk about love and stuff. It’s good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.

We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when he’s bored or it’s a commercial break.

It feels very natural.

I am very much in love with him.

I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesn’t have to say it back (I tell him that there’s no pressure) and he’ll get it through his thick skull eventually that he’s now stuck with me.

July 25/21

Dear Jane,

We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didn’t run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).

While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.

He smiled a lot more after that. I guess he’s just glad I get it.

One day, I’ll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.

Until then, I’ll just keep trying.

P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.

P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.

July 26/21

Dear Jane,

In summary of today:

Happy birthday, Natasha.

James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.

He knew. “Intuition” and all that. He also said I looked “like a royal dame” in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.

I love him and that’s the only reason it works.

Back to the festivities.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

Good morning to you and to James who’s still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.

Progress. Now, back to sleep.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

It’s now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.

He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now he’s upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.

He is exceptionally cute when he’s pouting.

I think we’re officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but we’ll work out the semantics on that later. For now, it’s another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.

I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our “thing.” I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

Massive progress.

July 28/21

Dear Jane,

He told me I was the only one for him.

Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled “FINALLY” and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.

For a day: 10/10

July 31/21

Hey Jane,

I think I’m happy.

I’m sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.

James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said it’ll take the whole day so I thought I’d get this entry in the morning. I dunno. It’s really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.

Weird, but it’s a good weird.

See you in a bit.

517 notes · View notes

phobiadeficient · 3 years

Note

BLU M!Sniper and RED F!Sniper split roasting their lover M!Scout?

(warnings for roughness and mention of jealousy, possessiveness, etc)

He had to know it was a long shot, but there he was, giving her puppy eyes and trying his best to explain himself.

 It was a bold thing to ask. And he admitted as much, admitted that he knew she hated the guy, and besides that he didn’t know how fond she was of... well, sharing. She spent probably half the time she complained about things complaining about the guy being a bastard, and a shitty sniper overall, accusing him of being a prick and having a big head and being a coward first and foremost. But also, Scout just thought, y’know, maybe...

And she had a very confident ‘no’ locked and loaded, ready to go, but then she looked back over at him and saw those puppy eyes again, and the only word that she managed to say after a minute was a particularly grumpy “Bugger.”

And when she eventually said yes—with a few stipulations—he didn’t exactly need to know, that... some of the problem was the fact that after a few years, her frustration with the other team’s Sniper had gotten a bit... charged. In a few ways. And she made sure to stress that she wasn’t going to be the one putting in the leg work to try to convince the bastard of anything, but she would be calling the shots.

The speed at which Scout agreed to all of that made her a little concerned that she was somehow being played, still.

Then apparently he actually managed it, then they were meeting at a bar, and Scout tactfully placed himself between the two of them at that bar so they wouldn’t strangle each other before they could talk, and she knew him well enough to be able to tell that his smile was just slightly forced as he looked between them.

“Uh, so, Snipes,” he said, and she raised an eyebrow at him. “Uh, we figured the name thing might get confusing, so I’ll still be callin’ you Snipes, but, uh—“

“Mick,” the other Sniper cut in before he could keep rambling. “Just call me Mick.”

“Funny, rhymes with ‘prick’,” she quipped.

His jaw tightened. Scout fidgeted, hurried to cut in again.

“Uh, but, yeah, I couldn’t get into details much since I figured we could kinda figure that stuff out a little better once, uh... once we get there, y’know?” he trailed, glancing around their vicinity briefly, self-consciously.

“I get the gist of it,” Mick said. “Agreed enough to show up, at least.”

“Not worried we’re here to ambush and kill you?” she asked.

“Implying I’m scared of you,” he said, and her grip on her glass tightened, and she was about to say a few choice words when she felt Scout’s hand on her knee, squeezing lightly, and she just huffed, taking another drink.

“So, if you’ve got any, uh, questions—“ Scout tried.

“Here’s one,” Mick cut in. “What are we all telling our employers?”

And he was surprisingly civil after that while they talked briefly about the implications for their jobs, and came to the collective conclusion that if one of them was screwed over, they’d all be screwed over, so they didn’t particularly plan on being rats. Sniper then informed Mick about a few house rules, mainly that if Scout told him to stop or let up, he’d damn well stop and let up, and that he could get rough if Scout asked, and Scout flushed all the way up to his ears during the entirety of it but for the most part she considered this important enough to ignore him.

And then they were finishing off their drinks, and then they were heading to the motel, and then Scout was getting them a room key and left the two of them alone for a moment.

 She had Mick by the collar in a moment, yanked down to make up for the two or so inches of difference in their heights. “Alright, you listen here,” she growled, sunglasses pulled off for the moment. “I bloody well mean it when I say that I don’t want you trying to make this into a contest. He’s my boyfriend, end of story. No matter what happens, I had him first. Clear?”

“Too bad you apparently need to bring someone else in to help keep him pleased,” Mick smirked, grinning like a bastard, and the only thing she could think to do that would wipe that stupid fucking smile off his face better than a swift punch to the nose was to kiss him like she wanted to maim in the process, so that’s what she did.

When Scout came back not even five minutes later, he found them both flushed, hair a mess, looking borderline murderous. “So... we’re doin’ this?” he asked feebly, and was yanked bodily towards their room.

She found herself on top of Scout in bed, boxing him in and kissing him like the world was ending while Mick mucked around in the bathroom. She didn’t waste time before starting to pull him free of his shirt, of his belt, and wasn’t surprised to find him already half-hard by the time she got a hand into his pants to cup at him.

When she pulled away enough to try and get her own shirt off, she registered the surprise that seemed to be evident on Scout’s face, the vague confusion largely overshadowed by awe. And she took the opportunity to bend down, mouth finding the space just under his jaw, stopping there to nip and suck hard enough to make him jolt, groan, grip at her shoulders—not pushing or pulling, just holding on for dear life as she sucked a mark and finally pulled away to look down at him again.

“Mine,” was all she said, voice a growl, and he nodded vigorously, clearly already dizzied by the entirety of what was going on.

And then she heard the door to the bathroom opening, and she pulled back enough to glance back in the direction of it, and was only half-surprised to see Mick already shirtless. Still had the shades on, though.

“Be patient,” she murmured to Scout, pressing a brief kiss to his cheek to quiet the beginning of a complaint when she sat up and climbed off him, moving to her bag to get what she’d need.

And by the time she’d untangled the increasingly-familiar harness and gotten it most of the way on, she was distracted by the sound of a stifled groan. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that apparently Mick had taken over for her, and was two fingers deep and carefully spreading Scout open, quieting how loud Scout tended to get with a biting kiss.

She paused entirely to watch for a few seconds, surprised by how hot that visual was making her, sending a shiver clambering up her spine, and even slightly more surprised at how quickly he was working. Clearly he had some experience with this.

“Bring a lot of men around seedy motels?” she couldn’t help but quip, trying to distract herself from the heat thrumming through her.

Mick pulled away from the kiss to raise an eyebrow at her. That was when she noticed that apparently Scout had coaxed him out of his glasses. “Enough,” he admitted casually, tone entirely more level than it should have been given the way that, now without a kiss to distract him, Scout had needed to bite down on the meat of his own hand to keep quiet, a litany of pleased little noises pouring out of his mouth.

“I imagine this is just another Saturday for you, then,” she huffed, finally managing to get that one buckle that always stuck to cooperate with her.

“Nah,” Mick replied, glancing back down at Scout for a moment while he reached and took his by then straining dick in his hand, giving it a brief pump just to hear the way Scout’s voice cracked high for a second. “Have to admit, this one here’s been caught on my scope a few times besides just to shoot him. He’s good-looking.”

Scout looked like he very much wanted to reply to that somehow, but his first word was replaced by a choked noise as Mick twisted his wrist just so and squeezed around the head, thrusting his fingers once, hard. She caught Scout’s eye, saw the same awe on his face, like he wasn’t entirely sure this was really happening, then saw the hunger flit into his expression as she pushed the toy into place on the harness and finished tightening it. “You’re right on that,” she agreed, moving over and cupping at Scout’s cheek, feeling the heat of his face under her hand and grinning at the fact that he couldn’t seem to decide whether to look at the strap or at her face. “But if you think he looks good now, you should see him here in a few minutes.”

“Might not be that long,” Mick replied, glancing over at the attachment and pulling his fingers free, wiping off his hand.

“I’m, I’m good,” Scout agreed, nodding hard. “So, how are we gonna do this, are we—“

Mick shut him up with a pair of hands bodily flipping him over and promptly pulling him up onto his knees, and Scout’s shiver of pleasure at the manhandling was misread by Mick, who squeezed his hips comfortingly for a moment. “Me in front, yeah?” he asked Sniper, who nodded, Scout hurriedly stammering out in the affirmative as well.

And she was slowed down in her attempt to arrange everything how she pleased at the visual of Scout fumbling his way through trying to open Mick’s pants one-handed, just a little bit too pleased at the notion of sucking him off, taking him into his mouth with enthusiasm that was just a touch too much, made that jealous streak flare up for just a second, and she didn’t bother reining herself in as much as usual as she dug fingernails into his hips, pushing in.

That groan he always made at that initial push was muffled, then echoed by Mick as Scout sank further forward and apparently did something very right. She couldn’t tell as well from the angle she’d found herself in, and didn’t particularly care. She’d only care if those noises started sounding too strained.

“Pull his hair,” she suggested, pleased to find that at the very least, she got to be the most put-together. Mick glanced up, expression hazy. “He likes it.”

He did so without further commentary, threading a hand in through the longer hair up at the top of his head and tugging, using it for leverage to push him down further. Scout groaned his appreciation, a distinct flex in his back letting Sniper know he was honestly leaning in to it just as much as Mick was pulling.

Alright, she was coming around. He won. Scout was right. This was a good idea.

She didn’t bother warming him up into things, knowing that he’d sometimes complain about her going too slow when she did it on normal nights, and he’d be even more frustrated if she did now. She just started straight into rocking her hips in steady motions, knowing by then just the right rhythm to leave him breathless without making her get too out of breath. She could keep it up for a good, long time, and always ended up enraptured at the way Scout melted, arching into it and gasping and moaning and gorgeous.

This time, he was a little distracted by clearly putting a good amount of effort into sucking off the other man, but even then he was noisy, and that only made Mick buck into his mouth all the more often.

“Gorgeous thing,” Mick choked, petting through his hair for a moment before snaring it and using it to buck into his mouth with more intent than before, and Scout just moaned, tilting slightly to accommodate. “God. Like you’re bloody made for this.”

“You have no idea,” Sniper said, breath a bit hard but still even, rhythm speeding for a moment to make Scout squirm. “I go too long without doing this to him and he gets so needy. He’d probably beg, if I made him wait too long. The way he begged for this tells me that much.”

“He’s blushing,” Mick informed her with a breathless sort of chuckle, and she saw that his ears were indeed turning red. “Poor thing. Can’t even defend himself with his mouth full.”

Scout made a quiet noise in the back of his throat that might have had something to do with the little extra roll Sniper put on the end of her next thrust, but Mick raised an eyebrow, pulling him back from his hair.

“Somethin’ to say, there?” he asked, hand falling to tip Scout’s chin up, and Sniper heard the way he was panting and slowed down her thrusts, knowing how close he had to be if he was making that kind of noise on the exhale.

Scout panted for another few moments, and finally made a disgruntled noise, shifting his weight. Sniper had to move forward with him a little bit, and he choked on breath for a moment before he recovered enough to speak. “If you’re gonna fuck my mouth, do it already,” he said, voice harder than expected. “And, and you can pull my hair harder than that.”

Sniper chuckled at Mick’s expression, slightly taken aback but clearly thrilled by this turn of events. “Alright then, get back down here,” he rumbled, and Scout did with enthusiasm, and then the pace was shifting.

She waited until Mick found his rhythm before she matched it, stepping up a notch, moving in double-time with the thrusts into Scout’s mouth. The skin of their thighs slapped together and Scout made desperate little noises every few thrusts, clearly completely overwhelmed by the way he’d gone so lax she needed to hold up his hips some amount for him. She only stopped occasionally to try and catch her breath or to readjust, shifting to long, slow strokes aimed as best she could to drag mercilessly against his prostate, and Scout whined helplessly each time it happened, bucking for emphasis until she started back up into the speed she’d had before again.

Mick seemed to sense something she didn’t—probably aided by the fact that he could see Scout’s face, feel his moaning—and told Scout to stroke himself. He did, moaning kicking up in pitch with his desperation, and that pushed Mick over the edge, swearing and fucking more roughly into Scout’s mouth before he spilled with a hard shudder. Scout moaned his pleasure when he could get air, strokes slowing down as he focused on not choking, and then his mouth was freed and he was panting and groaning against Mick’s thigh, rocking more firmly back into Sniper’s thrusts.

“Gonna come for me?” Sniper crooned in the sweet, teasing voice that always made him shiver when he was like this. “C’mon, we wanna see.”

Mick hummed in the affirmative, petting through his hair. Scout’s head was tilted a bit now, and Sniper watched Mick’s thumb drawing across his bottom lip, watched Scout’s eyebrows screw together with it, eyes falling closed, and Sniper filed it away as something she should try on him later. She moved to those long, firm strokes again, and Scout choked on nothing, going tense, jerking under her.

“Gorgeous,” she praised, rocking once and twice more for good measure, and he unclenched his teeth enough to gasp at it, and then he was relaxing, breathing hard.

She pulled free slowly and carefully, and Scout’s grunt of vague discomfort was muffled, Mick having leaned down to kiss him, still dominating but considerably more gentle than before. She left them to it as she stood to unclasp the harness, a little out of breath herself.

She’d only gotten one leg free when a pair of arms snaked around her waist, a familiar nose pressed into her hair, a breathless little chuckle fanning against her overheated neck. “Hey, c’mon, what about you?” Scout mumbled, half teasing and half hopeful.

She scoffed, but it was hard to get much feeling behind it. Seeing him like that, and the way the strap pressed against her as she’d been fucking him, and how hot the whole situation was, it all added up to make her feel… well. A good bit more turned on than she’d thought she would be. “What about me?” she asked, kicking free the rest of the way and trying not to separate from him.

“I want you to like this, too,” he said, and she jumped a little at the feeling of fingers trailing at her inner thigh.

“You don’t need to do that, I’ll be—“ she started, and was cut off as her breath hitched, Scout having gotten bold enough to push his fingertips against her more firmly. Her exhale was shaky as he trailed his fingers against her, the slickness there under his callouses apparently taking both of them by surprise if Scout’s little gasp was any indication.

“Jesus,” Scout whispered, sounding a little awed, a little desperate. “C’mon, please? I can’t just leave you like this, I wanna—“

 His index and middle fingers found either side of her clit, rubbing with just the right amount of pressure, and her knees threatened to buckle for a moment. “Ngh,” was what she managed instead of a proper response, pulse hammering, and she gasped outright as Scout’s other hand rose to cup and squeeze at her breast, making her arch. “Christ, I, fine, just—“

He nosed her hair aside, pressing a kiss into her neck and kneading at her just so, his own breathing a little shaky.

“Wait,” she bit out, and he stopped, freezing in place.

That gave her time and brainpower to move, turning around and pushing him down onto the bed again, boxing him in with her legs before leaning down, kissing him absolutely silly. His noise of confusion morphed into a noise of contentment, hands finding her waist almost automatically. When she pulled away again a long moment, he was flushed and clearly a little dizzied, his lopsided smile on display. “That a yes?” he asked, hopeful.

She glanced him up and down. “Mostly I’m just surprised you’re still up for more,” she admitted. “Figured we’d put you through the paces already.”

“Nah,” he said, squeezing appreciatively for a moment. “You know I’m always up for more of whatever.”

“Even after getting fucked two ways in one go?” she asked, eyebrows raising.

“Especially,” he admitted, head turning for a moment to glance at the other man, who admittedly she’d almost forgotten about. Mick appeared to be about halfway through a cigarette, shamelessly ogling the two of them, making no attempt to cover himself up and grinning a little when she met his eyes.

Mick looked at her for a moment, then down at Scout, who she felt shift a little under her, clearly preening at the attention, at the heat there. Mick stretched his neck from one side to the other languidly and reached to tap out his cigarette before he looked back over at Sniper. “You’ve got rubbers, yeah?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She nodded. “How about I take back and you take front this round?”

She blinked, glancing him over, then down at Scout. She was honestly a little surprised to hear they were ready to go again already, having not expected much more than that first round and maybe an attempt to crowd into one mattress if Scout was feeling particularly needy after. But then she looked at his face, and Scout seemed to be trying his hardest to give her his best puppy eyes.

“Bugger,” she sighed, and Scout grinned.

#//sniperscout #//fem!characters #//teasing #//powerplay #//begging

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