#obviously there’s parts of my body I don’t like regardless of dysphoria | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rentumblsstuff · 2 months

Text

Back to the NPMD x Monster High AU, a couple more things:

I would like to rescind my Werecat Brenda in favor of Nighthawk Harpy Brenda. Yes, I know I made Kyle a werewolf to parallel Brenda being a werecat but I also have a better offer for Kyle too: Yeti, which is why he still holds a grudge against Max for wrecking his dad’s ski-doo.

I have so many thoughts on Vampire Grace. She was born a normie and is a recently turned vampire (maybe even a vampire hunter that failed on an outing and was turned by her prey). She’s having trouble coping with her religion now that she’s a monster and constantly wears turtlenecks like the one she wears in Perky’s Buds to cover up her bite marks. She tried still wearing her cross necklace as a show of rejecting this new form, trying to embrace the pain of having the cross so close because she thought that loving Jesus even when she’s a form of half-demon would make herself better than other Christians, but it hurt way too badly for her to handle so now she just says she wears it underneath her sweater. Jason was born a vampire and wants to help her through her dysphoria but Grace won’t accept anyone treating her like she’s a vampire (even though she is). She does like the part about eating flesh and drinking blood- it’s what Jesus says to do with himself, so in a way, she’s making everyone she eats a little more Christ-like. That’s her thought process, at least. She also still pretends to be human around her parents and normie best friend Gabe. Gabe may or may not know that she’s a vampire though and wants to seduce her so she can turn him too.

In High School is Killing Me, the lyric is now changed to “Fuck you, biteology.”

Max’s Jekyll form is human (Max), but his Hyde form looks like his ghost (The Jagerman).

Stachie is soooo canon because Richie loves swimming but as a werecat Stacy refuses to get in the water and they feel like their romance is especially forbidden because of it. If Richie didn’t love the water so much, he’d wish he was a werecat too because he also wants to be a pretty little kitty meow meow

Ethan, Lex, and Hannah also went there obviously and Ethan was a ghost á la Jonny Spirit and Lex and Hannah are both spider people. You know tf why lol

Ruth is a lot like Frankie Stein in that she flirts with a lot of people but they Do. Not. Flirt. Back. Rather than solid stripes, her sweater looks more like lightning bolts and the mushroom design is a little creepier than just an Amanita.

A lot of the smoke club are also nighthawk harpies (because they like eating the weed) (including Deb) and so a lot of people assume Brenda is also in the smoke club. She isn’t. Monster high typical speciesism mixed with Hatchetfield High typical bullying regardless of social hierarchy.

The Woodwards are flytraps and that’s why Alice doesn’t smoke- plants don’t do that to other plants. This is often a point of contention between Deb and Alice even though they try to pretend it isn’t an issue

Steph’s secretly embarrassed about her decay so she always makes sure her wraps are FRESH, but the rest of her outfit is always her jagged hand-cut crop tops and ripped jeans. Her decay spread to her scalp and forehead and everyone knows better than to say something about the wraps on her forehead or how she always wears a beanie but Pete accidentally tells her he thinks it makes her look even cooler. Swooning ensues because nobody dares address her flaws, much less say she’s cooler for having them.

Steph secretly wishes Pete had a corporeal form because her love language is physical touch and she’s sad she’ll never be able to hold him. (Kind of like how Cleo is sad she’ll never get to look Deuce in the eyes).

Sophia/Spitfire as a background character fire elemental is a MUST.

The janitor is a crazy man who lives in the catacombs under the school and is possessed by what the student body can only assume is a goat demon and Peter Geist feels weirdly like he knows him.

Rosary as Claire Rosary as Claire Rosary as Claire-

Pete has also died recently as one of The Jagerman’s attacks when he was out of control, and he’s new to the school along with Grace. He’s stuck in this dorky outfit he wore so he wouldn’t get bullied and can never change clothes, but at least he’s impossible to punch unless if another spirit tried to attack him. As opposed to Grace in life, he was very interested in the supernatural (one of his special interests) so he knows quite a bit about monster types but is always hungry to learn more about the new world he found himself un-living in

47 notes · View notes

cocogrrrl · 10 months

Note

Hi! Can you do a TransMale!reader and Kyle fic where reader feels really dysphoric and upset while the two are in public because of stares 😭

And then Kyle corrects someone when they misgender reader 😭

It would cure my dysphoria 🥺/j

-📌🎀

real men

you arent feeling the best, and when you get purposefully misgendered, you only feel worse

kyle broflovski x transmale!reader cw: transphobia, gender dysphoria wc: 1050

an: as an enby person i feel like this was more self indulgent than anything, i hope this captures what you're looking for anon 😭

Somehow, something hits you at the worst of times, and then you feel like every single wave within you is crashing, and there is no way you can stop it. The particular stare of some people, the way you overhear how others talk about you, how they refer to you. It’s a reminder that you’ll never be who you want to be.

To many people, you just escaped the person you were. You weren’t actually trying to reshape yourself into the person you’re meant to be—you were just destroying yourself. You were stupid in their eyes.

In a way, sometimes you felt like they were right.

Were the new clothes, new name, and new identity all worth it? Because at the end of the day, one wrong move and people will know or be reminded of who you once were. Sometimes you believed that it’s no use—the changes you made—because all you want is people to accept who you were, which they didn’t.

“YN? Are you okay?” Kyle’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, waving a hand in front of your face.

You two were spending time together in the back of the school during your break, and you hadn’t realized that you completely spaced out.

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine, just a little tired.” You laughed, brushing your thoughts off. You didn’t want to worry Kyle at this moment. He doesn’t deserve to hear you wallowing. He’s worth more than that.

“Are you sure?” He said, raising a brow at you. You think he knows what’s going on, but you can’t tell.

You really didn’t want to bother Kyle or your feelings in fear of opening a dam, so you did your best to swat both away. “Yeah.”

“Did you get enough sleep last night?”

“Eh, I couldn’t sleep. I think it was 3 AM, and I was still wide awake” That was true, at least. You had trouble sleeping, and Kyle knew that very well. A double dose of sleeping pills could barely get you through the night.

“How much time do you have left before your next period?”

“Uh, 20 minutes.” You said, looking at the time on your phone.

“You wanna sleep first?” He offered, patting his shoulder.

“I had coffee a while ago, so I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.” You smiled, shaking your head but still resting your body on Kyle’s side. What can you say? You’re a clingy person.

As you heard people making their way through the school grounds, getting to their next class, Kyle scrolled on his phone as you relaxed your mind and your body. Your thoughts eventually settled, and you felt a little lighter. You hadn’t realized that you were feeling better.

Until one person showed up.

“And here, you can see the covetous jew with his gay ass girlfriend,” Cartman said, waving his arm at you two from a distance like he’s some tour guide and you two are attractions at a zoo. He was showing and befriending the freshmen around since no one in his grade wanted to hang out with him.

“Dude, can you shut the fuck up?” Kyle rolled his eyes as he placed his phone down. “He’s my boyfriend, by the way.”

“I don’t get what you mean, Kyle. YN’s is so obviously a chick! She’s got tits and everything.” He spat, motioning to your parts.

“First of all, he’s a boy regardless of what you say.” He let out a frustrated sigh, closing his eyes tight as he relieved his annoyed feeling. He knew better than to start a fight right now. It’s not what any of you needed. ”Second of all, didn’t you identify as a trans woman when we were younger?”

He scoffed in reply as his jaw hung so low it was almost comical like it was saying ‘How dare you bring that up?!’ “No, I so fucking didn’t!”

“There was one time you dressed up as Britney Spears once and danced with a cardboard cutout of Justin Timberlake. Butters still has the video.”

“No, he doesn’t.” He mumbled, sounding defeated.

“Yes, he does, and I will call him if you don’t quit it.”

“Whatever, the video’s edited anyway.” He grumbled, motioning the group of freshmen to follow him as he would go on to find his next victim.

Kyle let out a deep breath once more, the tenseness in his shoulders dropping once Cartman had left the scene. “Are you alright?” He looked at you sympathetically, putting a hand on your back.

“I don’t know…” You replied, your gaze now directed on the ground.

Your thoughts of earlier had swarmed back. They couldn’t just be swatted away. There’s always something that’ll rock the hive.

You just hated how he was just spreading that fact. It means that you wouldn’t even have a chance of appearing like a boy to others now. It feels like you were always destined to be a girl because of shit like this.

“I’m sorry he did that.” You could sense a hint of frustration still lying under his voice.

“It’s out of your control. I think it’s inevitable.”

“Don’t think that way. You aren’t worth his time or his bigotry.”

“I just wish people saw me as a guy.” You exhaled, bringing your legs up to your chest as you balled your body up.

“A lot of people do. It’s because you are one.”

“Yeah? That doesn’t stop shits like Cartman telling others that I’m not a real man.”

“Real man, this real man that. Who’s to define what makes a man anyways? Definitely not him.” He laughed, hoping to ease a little bit of your stress.

“YN, you are a boy, okay? Just because you don’t fit into the construct that the fuck built in his idea of gender, it doesn’t mean that you are any less of a man. It’s his fault that he can’t seem to recognize the man you really are.”

You turned your head from buried in your lap to his view. You felt a smile creep on your lips. Even if people like Cartman would always be around, at least you had your boyfriend to be by your side despite everything. “Thanks, Kyle.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He hummed, bringing you into a hug.

#📌🎀 anon #cocogrrrl's writing #south park fanfiction #south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski x you #kyle broflovski x y/n #kyle x reader

31 notes · View notes

illuminatireject · 2 years

Text

#I wish my dysphoria wasn’t so bad #tw for like graphic body talk and whatnot. I won’t get super into detail but it could potentially trigger dysphoria.#bc like while they’re annoying my t*ts look nice. on anyone else I would like them #I mean besides dysphoria they’re in the way and I can’t really look like in normal clothes (t shirt) bc of my figure and it hurts to run #etc #but like otherwise they’re fine.#idk it’s just frustrating bc it seems like parts of my body r going to waste by being on me. I’m sure there’s someone out there who would #love to be my cup size or who really wants my hips #but it causes me so much ‘pain’ (for lack of better wording) that I can’t even appreciate it #obviously there’s parts of my body I don’t like regardless of dysphoria #but overall I look fine. sometimes I even like how I look. it just doesn’t look like me #plus I look nice in skirts!#on occasion when my dysphoria is low I like wearing them #but no. everything I wear looks awful bc I feel like shit wearing anything nice (feminine clothes)#I’m not ugly! it’s one of the few things I’m confident in but unfortunately I only look nice in womens clothing bc mens clothing doesn’t fit #can’t shop in boys bc of hips can’t shop in mens bc of height #just. idk what to do.#I like being pretty I like the confidence I like getting peoples numbers and discords and w/e but doing it makes me want to off myself.#anyway #sorry abt that #I had to ramble I’ve been feeling like shit cause we’re moving and I have to go to a different school for senior year #which is making other issues worse #don’t rb #vent #vent tw #dysphoria tw #idk #ask to tag ig #⭐️

0 notes

caatfaace · 2 years

Note

hi uh- im kinda bad at this but i was worndering if you could write for oikawa comforting a ftm reader, ive been really dysphoric lately so yeah :')

Perfect Boyfriend

•·················✮·················•

Oikawa Tooru x (Trans!Male) reader

•·················✮·················•

!!WARNINGS!! Gender Dysphoria, aches from binding but reader does not overbind

•·················✮·················•

Please DON’T read/interact if you do not identify with male/masculine terms in any way (She/her + She/They's I'm looking at you

One thing you appreciated was how much Oikawa Tooru had genuinely cared to learn about your struggles. You found yourself sneaking into his room late at night to nuzzle into his chest and you never had to say a word for him to know what was wrong. Oikawa would whisper gentle words that lulled you to sleep that consisted of anything from “My sweet boy” to “My handsome future husband”. It was lame and cheesy but it filled you with the euphoria that you needed to keep going on your journey. No matter how hard it was.

Sometimes, however, that itching discomfort wouldn’t go away. Sometimes you were stuck with that feeling for weeks and weeks with no end. Every time you went to do anything, something just didn’t feel right. As if it didn’t work right. It didn’t matter if you knew your body was natural for other people who were born with the same parts but it didn’t feel natural to you.

Oikawa, obviously, would notice the shift in your mood (that super freaky setter sense played a part in your relationship just as much as it did on the court). He noticed every tiny change in your mood, regardless of how much of a shift it even was. It was no surprise to you that he noticed it this time. At the exact moment volleyball practice was over he practically dragged you to his house. Leaving no room for argument you just went along with it. Not that you wanted to argue–in a way you were grateful he was doing this in the first place.

“Don’t forget to take off your binder, Y/N!” Oikawa chirped to you while changing into his own clothes. Another thing Oikawa did when you felt particularly bad. He avoided his usual teasing nickname of “L/N-chan” because of “chan” being a more feminine term. Not to say he didn’t love to get on your nerves, he just knew when to shut up. Surprisingly.

You grunted and flopped down face first onto his bed but only after tossing your (color) binder to his face. Your upper back and ribs ache from a long school day spent in a binder, every day for a week. Not like you overbind, you wouldn’t even get the chance to do so. Oikawa would insist you proved you took your binder off as soon as a timer he had saved on his phone went off. The alarm was set up from the moment he knew you would usually put it on and to the moment you usually got home. You had no clue how he even got the data to estimate it so perfectly. To be fair, it was helpful. Even if it's a bit annoying.

You felt your chest tighten and choked out a sob. When the tears started they didn’t stop. Dampening the pillow beneath you as your shoulders shook with each broken sob and whimper that escaped you.

Oikawa sat beside you, the mattress sinking beneath his weight. He stared at your shaking form and ran his hand down your back. You didn’t say anything in response but god it felt good for your aching bones. He was always so loving to you, but why could he ever even love you? You weren’t built in the same way most boys are. You weren’t born one. Could you be enough for him?

Oikawa gently rubbed his palms up and down the upper areas of your back. Humming a familiar tune that you could recognize but not name.

“You’re my handsome boyfriend,” Oikawa smiled, “such a handsome boyfriend.”

You hummed in acknowledgment. Feeling the feelings of gender dysphoria eb away. Not completely but enough to make you hate your existence a little less.

“We can run away to Argentina together.” he leaned down to press a kiss to the back of your neck. “They’re good when it comes to Transgender issues. At least better than Japan is. We can get you anything you want. We can make your life more comfortable.”

“That sounds nice.” You smiled into the pillow and rolled over so you were on your back and staring up at the brunette.

His eyes were so filled with love, eyes that acknowledged you as who you are. That’s what you looked up to see. All your doubts melted away like ice in the spring. They’ll return someday…but for tonight? They are nothing but water. Only thing you had to worry about right at this moment was the boy who stared right back at you.

•·················✮·················•

thank you so much for the request : ) you lovely being I hope dysphoria is getting less as bad for you and im SO sorry its a late fic

find request information here

#haikyuu x male reader #x male reader #oikawa x male reader #oikawa fluff #oikawa x reader #x reader #haikyuu x reader #oikawa x trans reader #trans reader #oikawa comfort

222 notes · View notes

libidinous-weeb · 2 years

Text

u know what? i think it’s okay to want more inclusivity in ‘x reader’ smut fanfic. i think it’s okay to be frustrated about how it’s hard to find. if you’re a writer you might be looking for ways to do that but finding it difficult or feeling unsure of a way to do so accurately. i know it can be a bit hard, especially when it’s about sex. i have also seen that some writers are worried about inaccurately representing or depicting diverse readers, especially when it comes to penetration and sex acts involving genitals. if you’re struggling with that and are looking for some ways to be more inclusive here’s some tips! (minors do not interact, obviously)

try to avoid pronouns. non-gendered nicknames and pet names are still fine! if you are concerned about your writing sounding too unnatural, go through and reread it. you’ll find that it sounds a lot more natural than you thought! if “they” still seems awkward in a sentence you can try something like “honey” or change it (if possible, depends on the dialogue) so that the character is talking TO the reader and use they!

some good gender neutral pet names: honey, love, baby, lovely, cutie, babe, master (instead of mommy, daddy, or mistress) or my liege/liege (instead of princess/prince). “good baby” or “that’s my baby” or “there’s a good baby” work instead of “good girl/boy.”

if your fic mentions people referring to the reader as a girl or woman EVEN AS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT, you NEED to mention that if you’ve stated there are no pronouns used.

avoid mentioning hair or skin. with hair that includes both the LENGTH AND THE TEXTURE! some people have hair that won’t allow anyone to run their fingers through it. “running their fingers over your hair/toying with your hair” are great alternatives. avoiding using “soft” or color descriptors when describing hair or skin is also a good idea. (not just for POC but also for people with severe acne, burn scars, people who can’t grow hair, etc.)

avoid mentioning clothing or choose gender neutral clothing. “underwear” is better than “panties.” some trans men do not wear bras and some people don’t wear lingerie. but you can still build anticipation by slowing down the removal of clothing or going into detail about the emotional (mention if the reader/love interest is feeling nervous or anxious or desired) or physical details (is the love interest kissing the reader as they slide up your shirt? are they staring with hooded eyes as more of your skin is being revealed?).

always describing the reader as wearing a dress or skirt or heels or a blouse CAN cause dysphoria esp if your fic is labeled as having a gender neutral reader or does not use pronouns. this one specifically causes me the most dysphoria. (i def agree that the idea of clothing being gendered is stupid, but when it’s mentioned in fics it’s usually prolific in people who write for afab reader and mentioned frequently, SPECIFICALLY by love interest. it’s almost always a comment about how sexy or hot the reader is in the dress, making it seem like the love interest is being turned on by the FEMINITY of the reader.)

you can still portray that the romantic/sexual interest in the fic finds the reader sexy without going into detail about what they’re wearing. try mentioning body parts more, or using pants and shirts because everyone wears them regardless of gender. also a good tip if you still want to include specific clothing in a fic: specify if the reader is feminine or masculine before hand. or if they’re cis, specify that.

for body parts try to avoid using the terms “breasts” or “tits.” instead use “chest” or “nipples” instead. sometimes mentioning how “your breasts fill his hands” or how “your breasts jiggle” can exclude not ONLY people who have had top surgery but also women with smaller breasts. use chest or nipples. having the love interest say “your nipples are so cute and sensitive” or “i love leaving marks around your nipples” or “i love kissing down your chest and making you feel good.”

specify afab or amab reader if you have genital specific penetration in it. i feel like most people are aware but that can cause a LOT of dysphoria for binary (male or female) trans people. and also, your fic can still be for a gender neutral reader if you include afab/amab. if it’s NOT for a gender neutral reader don’t put afab/amab. be aware that assigned gender at birth is something mostly used to describe someone who is transgender. if your reader is cis, don’t use afab/amab. you can also specify trans woman or trans man reader if you are writing about a binary trans reader.

afab does not mean feminine and amab does not mean masculine. as a non-binary person this is a personal frustration of me and a lot of other non-binary trans people. afab nb people are not “woman lite” and amab nb people are not “feminine men.” as a way to make things more inclusive and a good first step into writing for trans readers if you’re not trans, you can try to first write fluff/suggestive fluff with a reader that is masculine but does not use pronouns or one who is feminine but does not use pronouns. feminine does not mean female and masculine does not mean male.

trying to specify if a character is more masculine or feminine? you can do this by getting specific about clothing, (dress or suit? lingerie or silky boxers?) or general features (solid and stocky, or delicate and graceful? facial hair? make up?). but the important thing is how the other characters in the story treat and interact with the reader. a masculine reader is less likely to be fawned over and stared at by every man in the room. they are less likely to be treated like a “lady.” a feminine reader is less likely to be called strong. they’re less likely to be called “bro” and have people use crass sexual language around them (obvs in the bedroom it’s different).

okay, let’s talk about sex now: here’s some tips for writing afab smut. i know most fanfic writers are afab but i’m still gonna go into it! it’s okay to write from the love interests point of view if you are at a loss or don’t have experience with afab genitals. you can write about what actions the reader takes that feels good for them. look up the most sensitive spots on afab bodies. (not gonna super into it cause this is already long and the info is easy to find). in general pleasure is the same regardless of genitals. mentioning tightness or how wet the reader gets and how good they feel are great things to include. focusing on how good the reader feels, or how good they look like they’re feeling. if you’re really feeling unsure or uncomfortable writing afab penetration, remember that everyone likes oral and everyone has a butthole. penetration is supposed to feel good! and penetration is not the be all end all or only way to have sex!

tips for writing amab smut: gonna mention the same thing here! if you’re really not sure you can try switching the POV to the love interest’s perspective! remember that penetration is supposed to feel good, both receiving and giving. writing from the person who’s being penetrated’s perspective is also a good place to start. ever written pegging fics? try writing it the same way but change any mention of “strap” to “dick.” there you go! otherwise my tips are gonna be the same as above. pleasure isn’t gendered. what in general what feels good.

tips for writing gender neutral smut: that’s right! you can, AND you can make it just as hot without mentioning reader’s genitals. writing giving oral is going to be the same regardless of who’s giving it. you can always talk about the love interest putting their head between the reader’s thighs. mentioning licking and sucking is okay because that feels good for everyone regardless of genitals. focus on how it feels instead of what is physically happening. use those adjectives friends. hand stuff? fingering and penetration are gender neutral. we all got holes. put stuff in em. write about it. hell yeah.

stuff to use instead of describing genitals: sex (as a noun), between your thighs/legs, inside/inside of you, hole (yeah i know that one isn’t the most creative but...it’s still hot). penetrating is also gender neutral. try length, you (“you feel so good inside me, i can feel all of you, etc.”) it (it’s so big, i can’t believe it’s inside me, etc,”) describing how the penetration feels or how the person penetrating feels is also good.

a strap on is a dick. if anyone in the story is using one, try having everyone in the story call it that. i know i mentioned it earlier but i want it to have it’s own bullet point. it’s a great way to build up to becoming comfortable with keeping the right pronouns for a trans character mid smut scene, or as practice for writing a fic with a trans man that hasn’t had bottom surgery.

dom and sub and top and bottom are not the same. someone can bottom AND dom. someone can top AND sub. top is who’s penetrating and bottom is who is being penetrated. a switch is someone who likes to both dom and sub. a vers is someone who tops and bottoms. SOMETIMES people use switch instead of verse. if you use or discuss a switch please say what kind of switch. top and bottom is mostly used for gay sex. if you’re writing about a heterosexual cis couple, a cis female reader domming a cis male one, she isn’t topping him. she’s only topping IF she’s using a strap on. using top and bottom when you mean dom or sub is taking and redefining terms created by and for the gay community, so please use them correctly. (my opinion. some may disagree but it seems to be a sense of frustration for many of us.)

you can dom and bottom and you can sub and top. penetration does not determine power dynamics. size and age difference do not determine power dynamics. gender and genitals do NOT determine power dynamics.

listen to your lgbtq+ and poc readers. if you write something and you want to know if it’s inclusive enough or if it portrays lgbtq+ characters just ask and be open to what we have to say. most of us won’t try to attack you, we’ll be grateful you’re trying to write something for us at all. inclusive writing may not get as many notes either, but inclusivity is not about popularity.

if you only feeling comfortable writing for your own gender, even if you’re cis? ask yourself why. is it because thats the only kind of reader you feel comfortable writing? that’s okay. is it because you’re only comfortable writing PIV smut scenes and don’t feel you know enough about other sexual dynamics to be able to portray them well? that’s okay too. but that doesn’t mean that everyone in your story has to be cis. it’s not an excuse for not writing a trans love interest. trans people are diverse. trans men are not all masculine and trans women are not all feminine. non-binary people are not all androgynous. trans men do not all have vaginas and trans women do not all have penises either.

fic writers that only write for a POC or trans reader (or both) are doing as much as they can to bring more inclusivity and diversity among writers. asking us to ‘write more inclusively’ or ‘make the reader more vague so EVERYONE can read it’ or whatever isn’t okay. those of us that write for POC and gay/trans reader are few. a lot of the time we can’t FIND fics written that include us. sooo we create them. instead of complaining, you should reblog their fics.

it’s okay to write for a reader or about a character that is a different race or skin color from you, but you can NOT fetishize them. don’t try to use aave in your fics when you’re white. don’t CHANGE the race of characters that are POC. no mention of how beautiful their skin color is because it’s different than yours. no changing black or brown characters to white. no trying to write characters as “culturally black.” NO talking about bbc or calling physical features or languages exotic. the number one example i can think of is white bnha fans changing sero’s ethnicity to hispanic so he can use spanish bc it’s their kink. do not fetishize languages or cultures or ethnicity or race. that is not inclusivity.

you can write whatever you want, but please tag it and label it correctly. writing is supposed to be fun so do it because you want to. it’s okay to only write for yourself. i’m not trying to tell you you HAVE to write in a way that includes everyone all the time. but please tag your shit right. when you tag shit as afab/no pronouns and then use “baby girl” or promote it as gender neutral amab reader and then make them super fem you’re gonna give people dysphoria. when your fics always describe the reader as white or cis or amab/afab or fem/masc or whatever, label it.

if you like inclusivity and wished you saw more of it, you have to participate. write and reblog inclusive fics. reblog fics from lgbtq+ writers. reblog from POC writers. even if the fic isn’t written for or about you. read fics even tho they’re not. read gender neutral fics. you don’t have to read fics that are about things you don’t like, but read x reader fanfics even when you can’t self insert into them. if you want more diversity or inclusivity, if you think it’s important, YOU have to try to make that happen. instead of reblogging posts about how you support it, do something to show your support.

#smut #smut fanfic #bnha smut #x reader #self insert #writing tips and advice #minors dni obviously #afab reader #god idk what other tags to add #i just want people to read this i spent a lot of time on it #lemon #lmfao if peephole still using that one

76 notes · View notes

korodere · 2 years

Text

tw dysphoria & sexuality talk. you dont have to read this. im mental illness posting

i wish i had somewhere proper to talk abt like. the sucky bits of being trans. like idk i feel like venting about how i feel about myself just makes people tell me over and over that “ur the same as cis men/just accept urself lol”

but that doesn’t get rid of how shitty i feel over not being a cis guy. Theres obviously differences between being transmasc and being a cis guy and i have issues with that, its not as simple as “just get over it and accept urself lol”

like if im venting about the real awful dysphoria i have about my vagene the answer i dont wanna hear is “why are you viewing vagene as an inherently woman body part” that’s not what im saying. and besides that, we can wax poetic about that but it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of people do not understand gender & sex the way niche trans circles on the internet do, and is till have to contend with the fact that so long as i have a vagene i am going to be viewed as woman in some way on some level, whether in a medical context or s/exual context, i have to deal with that regardless

and my discomfort with it comes from the fact that i just can’t get over that hurdle & i’m so dysphoric about it that despite my s/exual preference i get a combo of scared, upset, depressed, nervous, etc about the idea of being touched down there because to me it does not feel like i could ever be treated like a “gay man” sexually, i can only be treated like a boy with a vagene, an “other”

that’s like genuinely upsetting to me and i don’t know how to get over it. it’s not as simple as just accepting my body. i can’t be perfect and just like myself and have no issues with my body on a whim. sometimes being trans fucking sucks and pains me

like i dont feel like i can ever have s/ex the way gay men have s/ex with each other. i dont feel like i can ever been seen as equal or as valid as cis gay men. i feel liek i am always gonna be a like, “other”, like a niche option, like i can never be wanted by another gay man because i am not man enough, and i have to settle for bi/pan people who will accept me even though i have female parts. like it just sucks

i dont feel like i can ever be seen properly as a guy lol. im always gonna be a weird fujoshi who wishes she was a gay man to people rather than seen as what i want to be seen as. im just a fetishizer and trender or whatever

the only way i feel like i can get close to the person i wish i was is by pretending i dont exist and completely throwing myself into roleplaying a gay anime boy on the internet because then its as close as ill get to being treated like a cis gay man lmao

#kota.txt #neg /

7 notes · View notes

lowkeysebastianstan · 3 years

Note

did i miss something? i j woke up why are people talking abt sebs dick?

hi! lucky, you should have stayed asleep or atleast offline :/

fortunately the ppl i follow aren't that bad, i literally only had to unfollow two ppl so far, but the gist is that all over tumblr, and twitter, ppl are mocking the size of sebastian's penis bc of a brief glimpse in monday the movie.

now i've not seen it yet, i might tonight, but from what i've seen most of these gremlins haven't either, they're basically just going off a gif without context.

obviously if you're shallow and pathetic enough to body shame a man for his junk the context doesn't matter, but it's still telling af that these are mostly haters in the first place or idiots who actually think that it matters and also don't know how a penis even fucking works.

not that that really matters bc honestly whether it's hard or flaccid or whatever, well. IT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE A CONVERSATION! idc if you fantasise abt him sexually, hell i have too, BUT THAT'S NOT HIM, THAT'S YOUR FUCKING BRAIN AND LIBIDO GOING OFF, YOU ARE NEVER EVER GONNA FUCK HIM REGARDLESS!

like, imagine if this was a woman? who was shamed for her uneven tits of whatever? like, wtf?

like, genital preference? def a thing. but that only applies to having actual sex with a person, and even then you don't mock ppls junk??? whoever they are jfc. so if this brief glimpse leaves you cold? fine. stop stanning, no problem. but to actually say that's why? like, really? so you're really that person, that if you meet the person of your dreams, you then peace out bc their dick isn't big enough. wow. just, wow. that's so brave of you.

i know a lot of ppl use his statements abt body dysphoria as a reason, and sure, it's a factor too, but as i said in my post, really that's irrelevant bc this behaviour is disgusting no matter who it is.

and lastly. to anyone that gifs that moment. wtf are you doing? like, honestly? like why on earth, what are you hoping to to accomplish? why are you obsessing over genetalia?

yes, we sexualise and objectify our crushes on here, both characters and irl people, we post steaming pics and gifs and fics and swoon and thirst collectively, along with meta and analysis and art, it's a part of fandom. hell, i've posted rpf myself, and jfc y'all went off on the eb gifs i posted. (we can get into the moral of all of this, but rn idc.) but this? this is what you do? the man even said that he hoped ppl would focus on the context and not on the display. i'm just—how old are you?

anyways! i hope that clears it up, and thank you, i had a bit more rant in me, it was good to vent! hope your day is stellar! <3<3<3

(also, if you are a literal child and you didn’t know better, i get it, but pls delete your posts abt it and stop and think.)

#sebastian stan #ask #anon #monday

33 notes · View notes

thirdhandidiot · 4 years

Text

Trans obey me hours bitches

(Main Post) If you were fortunate enough to avoid the first one, I recommend reading it first, but you don’t need to dw! guys keep hitting me up with obey me stuff in my inbox– I just wanted to finish this before I started anything else, but I love seeing your sexuality HC‘s amd can’t wait to talk Abt it!

I recon that it’s difficult for certain characters to go ‘unnoticed’ as trans for whatever reason, so here’s my thought, ask box is always open for obey me thoughts, especially if you think I’m representing anyone incorrectly or get anything wrong xx

•Lucifer would be one of the only brothers to go completely under the radar. Very few would ever imagine that he isn’t infact a cis male, and none would dare mention it to him. It’s a known fact that it’s practically impossible to catch lucifer in any state of undress, and whilst he’s unhappy with the attention thats brought towards it, he’s glad that no one has succeeded. Lucifer has scars on his chest, and whilst he’s taken good care of them to ensure optimal healing, they never completely left, the discoloured strip lighting up his already porcelain skin. Most days he’s able to completely forget about them, but occasionally he’ll see himself in the mirror and it’s stings, the reminder that hell never truly be what he considers perfect. On particularly bad days he will shut himself into his study only leaving for meal times (setting a good example to the others of course) and for classes, which isn’t too different from usually, but he shouts less, and the others can’t help but feel bad for taking advantage of Lucifers bad days, instead opting to maybe just, leave the fight for tomorrow yea?

•Mammon probably suffers pretty badly from dysphoria. His demon form requires him to expose the scars across his chest and as a result, quite a lot of people have a hunch. Anytime anyone asks he laughs it of with another story ‚attacked by huge bears!‘ ‚human witch tried ta kill me!‘ ,I battled diavolo and won!‘ but no one really believes his stories and he knows it. He appreciates that no one bothers him about it too much, but he doesn’t really like people knowing, it feels like they have something over him, like black mail, and we know how often mammon is blackmailed. Despite that he’s a successful model, having done plenty of shirtless shoots, and he’s noticed that the scars are never in the final picture, edited out in favour of flawlessly smooth skin, amd whilst he wishes he looked that way, it still feels wrong to see himself without them, especially when no ones brought it up to him.

•Levi absolutly has the worst dysphoria– due to his lungs being unlike any other demons (his demon form seems to have gills?) it’s dangerous for him to get surgery (not to mention he’s probably terrified of the prospect). As a result he just accepted a long time ago that he’d always have to bind. Considering how he’s almost always in his room, it’s not like many people know, but sometimes he’ll be in a raid and his voice will crack just one too many times when he’s mad, or he’ll get too defensive over someone else being attacked for being LGBT that there’s a few rumours online that he might be trans. He ignores them solidly in hope they go away but on bad days he can’t help but read them all– see complete strangers pick him apart and it hurts. Unable to bind for too long (for the fear of his brothers wrath) Levi often opts to wear huge clothes when in his room, which is part of the reason he makes people wait before entering, quickly changing into a binder, regardless of who’s at the door.

•Being neither Male nor female, it’s obviously impossible for Satan to go under the radar. Using they/them pronouns means that they’re often made to come out to people pretty soon after meeting them, given that they didn’t already know. Sometimes they just don’t have the energy to go through the gruelling task of listening to people stumble whilst trying to talk to them and will just leave, but being the avatar of wrath apparently has some advantages as very rarely does anyone try stop them. No one deliberately misgenders Satan twice, often meeting their timely end as they won’t hesitate to tear into anyone who has the disrespect to purposefully try hurt someone that way. Satan probably keeps an updated ‚LGBTQ+‘ book directory for any younger students, and has become something of a rolemodel completely unbeknownst to them, just for being an openly queer student (probably has a few admirers too).

•Asmo has a complicated, yet perfectly simple relationship with gender, whatever’s right is right. Usually using any pronouns, but occasionally making a request usually in the form of ‚I’m a princess tonight‘ or ‚i think I’m Daddy, don’t you?‘ and whilst the Brothers find it somewhat strange, theyre supportive and accustomed to the avatar of lusts mannerisms. Usually unbothered by strangers critiques, asmo is no stranger to being the centre of attention, be it a party, shoot or gossip blog. However this doesn’t mean that sometimes their body just feels wrong, like they can’t quite be comfortable whilst everyone’s talking to or about them, however sometimes fearing speaking up, feeling that they might be cut down for being over dramatic or fragile, which usually wouldn’t bother them, but in a more personal matter, it doesn’t always work out that way. Asmo is treated very much like any other human world celebrity that comes out as gender queer, often ignored by the press unless it’s relevant to the story

•Beel Is one of the brothers who passed stealth almost immediatly, having always been more muscular, much taller, and with a more subdued personality that no one questioned. Despite that, at first there was a fear that eating so much would cause him to gain weight on his hips or thighs, but he quickly found a love for working out that he hasn’t shaken since. Members of Beels gym are mostly aware that he’s trans, he doesn’t have a problem with people knowing, as long as they continue to show the same respect for him. He probably continues to post shirtless pics, not caring about what people think of him, and a lot of young queer people look up to him. He’s always happy to talk to anyone who comes up to him and asks for help, always willing to help others feel more comfortable, to give them that little boost.

•Belphie always struggled next to Beel. Of course they never told him that, and to this day belphie feels bad about keeping it a secret, but it’s better than upsetting Beel, right? Belphie didn’t really feel like anything. Definitely not a woman, but not a man? Non binary and gender queer never felt right, more like wearying a sticky name tag with your name spelt backwards where everyone pretends to understand it, when you know it’s wrong. Belphie took hormone replacements for a few years, wanting to remove the association with their birth assigned gender, but after a while, that started to feel wrong too, it was too much. A lot of people ask Beel ‚what Belphie is?‘ and when he told Belphie, they just told him to shrug. If Belphie doesn’t know, why would they? But a lot of people think they know, telling them ‚oh you must be agender!‘ ‚oh so youre Demi gendered?‘ but why would they know? Why do they feel entitled to their indentity? It’s draining.

109 notes · View notes

kuromichad · 3 years

Text

different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia.

because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”

and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner).

like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.

because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness.

because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”

again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.

like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.

like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.

#source on much of this: existing as a transmasc on tumblr for years and years.#i stopped identifying as any sort of 'woman-aligned' pretty much right before the ridiculous 'all afabs are dysphoric' stuff #but it sure did still make me hate myself and feel like a silly cowardly ugly little girl for wanting to transition!#and back when i WAS a she/they i definitely was falling for 'men are bad maleness is bad always inherently :)' rhetoric #not in the modern form outlined above but in the like. brainlessly parroted from 'baeddel tumblr' form #which was still like 'you can escape being a Bad Person by either becoming or admitting you are a girl :)'#and the only acknowledgment of trans men in this ideology was like. 'well i guess they feel like they have to do that :\'#'too bad for them. im not saying they shouldnt transition but you know. men suck though <3'#it was bad for me it was bad for other people so im saying from experience. Fucking cut it out! the end

15 notes · View notes

lucci0la · 3 years

Note

what do your kinshifts feel like?

LONG ASS POST WARNING‼️

Personally I tend to notice kinshifts when my behavior and interactions with people change- I feel a very particular way about certain things, or my daydreams more often than not end up having to do with those from my canons. I miss certain people more, or my feelings suddenly change about specific people from my canon. I also tend to feel a lot less strongly about my other kins, sometimes removing them from my list just to add them back later when I feel a shift. And this may sound rancid, but when I’m in a kinshift, I tend to feel very agitated or annoyed seeing others with the same kin or feeling a strong sense of (unrightful) possessiveness seeing someone from my source being close with them. Not to say that anyone sharing a kin with me is invalid (they absolutely aren’t invalid in any way and my personal beliefs enforce that), but it’s an involuntary feeling that arises in my kinshifts. Behavior wise, there’s usually a very noticeable shift in what I do or want or my emotions.

If you’re asking about specifics of my kinshifts, I’ll just tell you what I’ve noticed!

Kakyoin :

~ My dysphoria gets stronger- not in the way of wanting to be more masculine as I’m fairly feminine, but feeling upset by any hyper feminization by those in my life (and occasionally within the fandom). There’s just a strong disconnect between myself and others emotion wise.

~ I tend to feel more passive and wear my more flowy clothing or button ups and spend more time on my hygiene, actually bothering to do things like put my damn earrings in or do my hair. I also seem to be more careful with what I eat and take care to finish any tasks and chores.

~ While my motivation for things increases, so does my will to talk to people. I speak noticeably more friendly to people (read: I’ll be really friendly casually until a full on encounter occurs, in which case, I’m shaking in my boots with uncertainty) and my tone changes drastically, so that’s always a hint. With that being said though, my words come out much more naturally and I don’t sound as much like a broken record.

~ This is literally the main thing that I noticed between kinshifts in the beginning, but in my Rohan shifts I felt a strong interest in body modifications or body art- like piercings and tattoos. In my Rohan shifts I’d have a clear feeling that I’d want some sort of tattoo or get random piercings, specifically nipple piercings, and then when I would be in my Kakyoin shift, I couldn’t not notice that I just had no will or want to alter or mark my body. This was during the time where I kept shifting back and forth between my Kakyoin and Rohan shift, which would change every (this is really a guess) 3-21 days and my feelings and sense of improvement, progression, and change were super clear to me, so it couldn’t go unnoticed. What made it even clearer to me was that the back and forth interest in body modification didn’t feel like indecisiveness, it just felt more like a flipped switch that always went back and forth to the same thoughts and feelings. I remember the thought of dying my hair being a similar feeling to body modification even though my hair color is different from canon- attempting to remedy it outside of video games with customizable characters just makes me feel like I shouldn’t.

~ SUUUPER fucking lonely. I may have more motivation to talk to people, but oh my god, I’m still painfully reluctant and shy in genuine interactions.

Rohan :

~ Usually I feel a lot more upfront with everything, and unlike in my Kakyoin shifts, I’m a bit more distant from people and tend to repeat myself if I’m not in the mood to let my words come out naturally. In other words, I’m considerably more self-focused and care more to finish my school work, usually only reading on the side instead of my Kakyoin shifts where I’m actually taking the time to do anything and everything I can to take care of myself.

~ I don’t experience much dysphoria in these shifts, if any, and lean towards form-fitting or revealing clothing. Though by revealing, I mean more that if I’m alone and at home (which I usually am) I usually just end up strolling around in an unbuttoned cardigan and my underwear so it’s not like I do it in public.

~ Even though I present myself differently with people and don’t actively pursue them much in this state, I feel a notable fondness for them. It’s not like I ever stop loving my pets or family when I’m in any of my shifts, but I’ve noticed that I think about them in a kinder light when I’m in my Rohan shifts. To put it very lightly, the family I was born into that I remember from my canon though wasn’t one that I was as close as I would’ve hoped.

~ It’s a subtle change from the Kakyoin shifts, but I tend to be happier and a bit more hopeful rather that feeling like something is missing. My memories are all and all very much happier and it makes me feel a lot more at ease in many things that I do even if I’m not actively remembering them at times.

~ I’ve admittedly been very distracted from my own kins as of late and unfortunately even let myself forget my own memories- though once I read them again (as I wrote them down) I was reminded. Aside from the attachment and interest to body modification like nipple piercings or getting tattoos, I can’t remember many more differences.

Doppio :

~ These shifts are always way shorter than the others, but I notice them very easily. They stick out like a sore thumb in my eyes. My emotions aren’t passive (in the background) in the slightest during these shifts and mostly consist of like,,, pure fucking peace. Like it’s just a strong feeling you can’t ignore.

~ I procrastinate much more and act with self-indulgence, food becomes the biggest comfort, and I lose my absolute MIND over the outdoors. Scenery of any kind (even if it’s really not that good) catches my eye in an instant and I fuckin’ lose it just trying to take pictures.

~ I’ll interact and talk with those close to me, but I don’t care to do so that much with others.

~ While I like being babied (caressed, treated with endearment, etc.) I literally cannot stand not being treated like another person. Consuming kin content for this shift in particular can make me very angry very quickly unless I get it custom made- like holy shit, call me sweet all you want to, but if I see another damn aesthetic regarding frogs or phones, I will lose my shit. It feels like saying one thing at a family meeting when you’re five and then everyone holds it over your damned head into your adulthood. It’s just a bad joke.

~ I’m pretty sure this is the one kin that I had whose canon was more fem-leaning in terms of attraction because every time I’m in the doppio shift, I just— women 💞💞💞

Johnny :

~ Honestly I don’t know how I know I’m in this shift when I am, I just am. I may have not had this shift enough to know for sure, but I just do.

Aside from all that, easier hints would be

Kakyoin: Attached to Jotaro (and Dio at times) and reacts to doubles in a very jealous way- I don’t interact, obviously, but regardless.

Rohan: Attached to Josuke for the most part, but enjoys most from part 4 and reacts to doubles with a strong feeling of disgust or annoyance, obviously still not interacting.

Doppio: Attached to no one in particular despite kin memories (regardless of my care for Donatella or Trish), but reacts to doubles more out of anger. Just as I said, I just get really angry to the point of shaking and simply try to remove myself from the situation.

Johnny: Who knows tbh lmao. I haven’t done any meditations on this one.

Like I said before, these are just involuntary feelings I get from doubles, I don’t, like, bark at or harass them or anything, they’re all just as valid as I am, but these are just differences I’ve noticed between shifts.

#otherkin #fictionkin #jjba kin

9 notes · View notes

werevulvi · 3 years

Text

I wanted to write a bit about sex segregated spaces, in regards to people who pass as the opposite sex. This is not actually about trans people, as much as it is about the safety, integrity and general rights of male-passing biological women. I am not the only gender non-conforming woman who gets tossed out of female only spaces, based on the false presumption that we’re men. I do not care about validating trans women, or even trans men, for that matter. I care about real life practicality, risks and safety for ALL women, not just those who look conveniently clearly female, which starts with accepting that some women, whether they've medically transitioned or not, pass as male. And none of them should have to feminise themselves to access female only spaces. Whether that be to ensure safety from males, or to just take a leak.

The fact that I choose to keep my beard has almost nothing to do with that I'm male-passing. It may be my strongest "male" feature, but it's hardly the only one. I still pass as male with a clean shaven face, which makes shaving my beloved beard rather pointless, in my opinion. I would realistically need to go through more than just facial hair removal to pass as my own sex again. I'd probably even need facial feminisation surgery, hair transplant, voice feminisation and full body hair removal, at the very least, to even get close to passing as female again. But even then, I'd probably STILL be read as a trans woman, i.e. male. And even IF I did all that... WHY should I have to mutilate myself (a second time) by buying into harmful patriarchal beauty standards, which would worsen my dysphoria and reduce my comfort in my own skin significantly, to be allowed the safety of male-free spaces?

Does that sound feminist to you? Because to me, it's incredibly misogynistic, and strongly counterproductive. To uphold patriarchal gender roles for the safety of women... is the most insanely anti-feminist double standard I can possibly ever think of.

To lay out my argument on this topic, I'm going to use my own experiences as examples a lot. Mostly because I cannot with any conscience speak for anyone else than myself, at least not in such detail and with such harsh judgement. But I'm sure a lot of my experiences are applicable to other masculine women as well.

First off, I still consider myself gender critical, but my allegiance to radical feminism has been waning lately. This is mostly due to that although I agree with the base premise of radfem, I tend to disagree with the proposed solutions to almost all of the issues, because to me they come across as unfounded beliefs (yes, BELIEFS) that "it would just work" without much of any evidence to back up such a claim.

And when it comes to trans people, I've noticed a lot of... shall we say, willful ignorance, going on among many radfems, which does affect opinions on gender abolishion as well as sex segregated spaces to appear rather... intellectually dishonest, to be frank. Although this is not intended as a call out by any means, I merely want for people of all sides of the radfem/gender critical/pro-trans fence to stay critical and keep questioning everything, even one's own beloved ideology. Which I don't see a lot of. Instead I see almost religious defending of radfem as the ultimate/perfect ideology... oh, guess where I've seen that before? I've come to believe that "hivemindedness" is probably part of every possible ideology out there. Even radfem.

So, anyway.

One thing I come across time and time again is the belief (yes, I dare say "belief") that people never pass as the opposite sex, although it's mostly directed at trans people, this very much applies to people who are just gnc as well. Let's not forget that. And this belief seem to often lead to that transitioned/gnc people can just use the space intended for their biological sex, no problem. However, this is not the case. There is a problem. Very many trans people, and some gnc people, pass well enough to at least blend in enough to not raise much of an eyebrow among the opposite sex, and to most definitely stand out as an outsider among people of the same sex. OR they pass barely enough as either sex, and thus stand out as an outsider among both the same sex and the opposite sex, which can cause similar problems with single sex spaces.

There's also the thing that it generally is easier to pass as the opposite sex among complete strangers, compared to people who know you/your background. They tend to read you differently, depending on that.

At least in my experience, complete strangers assume I'm male and don't even as much as raise an eyebrow about how male I come across as. They accept their false assumption at face value. And why wouldn't they? 99,97% of people who "look like me" are biologically men. Then people who know I'm transitioned, but didn't know me pre-transition, tend to see me as a female who looks very convincingly male, whether that makes me a masculine woman, trans man, or any other (female) label in their eyes. They claim to be able to "see" my female nature, yet they somehow had no idea before I told them about my true sex. Then people who know about my history and saw it happen from the time before my transition (now only really my family) never quite succeeded to see me as anything other than a gnc woman. To quote my dad: "You look like a woman who's trying to look like a man." Although I'm sure my mom and sister don't have quite as harsh views about me, lol. They still seem to see me the way they always have, regardless of what name or pronouns they use for me.

This matters, because although people who know I'm transitioned and may even have witnessed my transition from the beginning, struggle to see me as a man (which I respect entirely and I'm VERY careful to not push wanting to be seen/read as anything in particular, but also, people do not want to be rude, especially irl) that does not go for people who have never even seen me before the moment I walk into... say, a public bathroom. To them I cannot possibly be anything other than a man, and it's almost impossible to change their view of me as male once their brains have registered me as such. I need to conjure up pretty fucking compelling evidence to shatter that view they have of me.

This is important, because it means I cannot feasibly use female only spaces, unless someone else (who is also female) vouches for me and explains my situation for me. This is, most likely due to people being more likely to believe an unlikely explanation when it's told by someone else, because maybe I could be lying; and only someone of the same sex as me can accompany/escort me into female only spaces, obviously. But even then, there's a ton of tension around my presentation. An air of distrust, basically. The question that hangs in the air: "Is that a trans woman?" even after they've been given a thorough explanation of my situation. It's uncomfortable for everyone involved. Imagine how it goes then if I'd just show up unannounced, and without someone to vouch for me. I just get booted on sight.

Yes, I can whine about this all day, but that is NOT my point.

My point is that I'm either directly, or implicitly, unwelcome in female only spaces, despite being biologically female, because of my transitioned appearance... despite I'm not even on testosterone anymore since 2 years ago. Sure, most gnc women (whether transitioned or not) don't seem to have turned out quite as passable as me, but clearly, it happens. So let's stop pretending that it doesn't.

So with that in mind, I don't always have access to a gender neutral space. Like for example when I travel with the ferry that goes between my island and the mainland of my country, there is only men's bathrooms and women's bathrooms. No third option. That's a 3 hour boat ride, and with my coffee drinking habit, I will need to pee at some point or another while aboard that ship, alright. And no, peeing in the ocean is not an option, as squatting over the railing would be incredibly dangerous, and most likely not even remotely allowed. Granted, I don't take the ferry often, it's just the most clear example I can think of. Because it's my only means of transportation to/from the mainland, except from flying, which is incredibly expensive, less reliable and obviously an environmental hazard. So when I do have to use that ferry, I'm kinda stuck with my choices.

So then, am I better off going with the men's or women's bathroom? I am much more likely to be left alone to do my business in the men's, so even though that is not the space I want to be in, nor do I think it's "right" for me to be there, sometimes it's even a bit scary, other times even impractical if there's only urinals and no stall, and it's absolutely not validating at all - it's the only bathroom that I can realistically use, without too much trouble. And I don't want trouble. But I also hate having to put my own safety on the backburner for the perceived safety of other women, who are not actually at any higher safety risk when left alone with me.

So, onto the more general, political aspects of this issue:

Women in male only spaces may be less of an issue in regards to safety, at least for the majority of people (men) in that space, especially if the woman in question passes as male. No one gives a fuck, generally. But problem is then that she is at far greater risk than the majority of people (women) would be with a single male, in a female only space. As I think a group of women against one male is generally less risk towards the women, when compared to a group of men against a single female, which can be extremely dangerous for her. Although I've so far never been faced with any sort of violence in a male only space, let's not pretend that my presense in a male only space is somehow LESS dangerous for me, than how dangerous the presense of ONE male in a space with a whole group of women, would be for those women. Statistically and realistically, I'm at a far greater risk than they are, and no, I do not have any more choice in the matter than they do.

Thus, this kinda skewed idea of safety and choice, becomes a question of ethics, I think.

Furthermore, I'm a person of principles, and it wouldn't sit right with me that if males should never under any circumstances be allowed in female spaces, but females could be allowed in male spaces. I refuse to be a hypocrit on purpose! No, if males should never under any circumstances be allowed in female spaces, then females should also never under any circumstances be allowed in male spaces. OR, if females CAN under some special circumstances be allowed into male spaces, then males should be allowed the same in female spaces. Both of these solutions pose serious problems, which I keep seeing being brushed under the carpet a lot, and that annoys me.

But if we go with the first idea, of barring people from using opposite sex spaces altogether, then where the fuck do I pee? Should I utilise my "right" to use female spaces, despite making everyone uncomfortable and feeling threatened by my presense, as well as risking being kicked out and forced to use the equivalent male spaces anyway, which is exactly what that idea is meant to prevent - or should I completely avoid being in places which I know does not have a gender neutral bathroom, such as the ferry? Would that not be discrimination? Which is the most reasonable option here, what is the most practical, what's wrong and what's right? Do I even have a RIGHT to use female bathrooms, and if so, how do I prove it, considering my ID still says I'm male?

Trans men aren't gonna be nearly as willing to use female only spaces, and trans women definitely not eager to use male only spaces. But aside from that validation factor, I have the exact same struggle as trans people do on this particular point. Quite often they do toss and turn at which bloody bathroom to pick, not just out of validation, but because they genuinely struggle to figure out which one is the best option for them practically. Especially if they don't quite pass as either sex, and most and foremost just wanna do their business without unneccesary drama.

Also, to clarify: barring trans people from opposite sex spaces is NOT discrimination, as they never belonged there to begin with - but leaving them with no other option than to pee themselves, is. Which means that I think it's fucked up to barr them from those spaces BEFORE having solved the problem of "if they can't go there, then where?"

Perhaps I'm the only one around here who cares about males' integrity, safety and human rights. But even if so, I should not be the only one to care about gnc females' integrity, safety and rights. Male-passing females, whether transitioned or not, whether bearded or not, are still female, and if we don't want them in female only spaces, and not in male only spaces either; why? Because they "chose" to medically transition and/or dress in men's clothing?

Yeah, well, in most cases of transitioned females, they transitioned because of dysphoria, which no one chooses to have. It's a medical condition. Barring people from spaces they'd otherwise be welcomed into, due to the visual outcome of the treatment of their medical condition... is ableism. Barring a woman from a female only space she belongs in, solely because her unusual physical appearance freaks you out... is ableism. Also, simply being gnc and being viscerally uncomfortable with presenting femininely is also not a choice. And even if it was... shouldn't it be? That's why I cannot roll with that sorta solution. I dunno if it counts as a form of discrimination by definition, but it just smells a lot like it from where I sit. That it's no more right to toss me out of, or give me trouble, in a women's bathroom, than a masculine women who also passes as male but who has not medically transitioned.

That said, however, women's safety DOES matter a lot to me. Hence my reluctance to join their spaces, despite being a woman myself. I guess, what I'd want is complete sex segregation to work in my favour, but I can't promote a rule that would discriminate against me. I'm sorry, I just can't. I desire FUNCTIONAL sex segregated spaces, but realistically they cannot function. Truth is that the only womens spaces I've been allowed into since I began passing as male, are "trans inclusionary" ones that openly allow in trans women, ironically. I care about the safety of other women, and their right to have their own spaces... but not at the expense of my own rights, as a fellow woman. To say otherwise would be a crime against myself. I really wish this could be solved in some way that would work in practice, but honestly I don't think it can anytime soon. Not without some seriously tried and proven, practical and humane methods to check what sex people entering single sex spaces actually are.

That is the reality that people have to face. And personally I'd rather focus on women's rights than trans rights, but as a woman who's medically transitioning, I'd shoot my own foot no matter which one I'd choose. That's quite a dilemma.

So where my opinion stands on this right now, is basically this: I think female only spaces should only be for biological women, but I'm reluctantly okay-ish with males who pass as female utilising female only spaces, and vice versa for females in male only spaces. However, this does not feel ideal at all. It's a compromise. Ideally, I want such spaces to be entirely sex segregated, and for even people who pass as the opposite sex (like myself) to be allowed into spaces of their biological sex. My appeal here is both realistic practicality with the reality that some people really do pass as the opposite sex, as well as the safety, rights and integrity of male-passing women.

#female only spaces #gnc women #yes some trans people pass #but not only trans people pass #radical feminism #gender critical #ok to rb #my opinions and concerns

23 notes · View notes

bumblebee-moreno · 3 years

Text

Valentine’s Day Pedro Fluff Night!

Starting 14Feb at 5pm PST (in about 15 minutes) and ending 15Feb at 10 am PST

Send in any (and as many) fluffy thoughts you want! (yes, Selkie!Tovar can be included tonight)

Rules under the cut (important points are bolded):

There are a few things I won't talk about because of gender dysphoria: pregnancy, childbirth, periods, breasts. Mentions are fine, but I won't go into explicit detail (asks containing this content will be deleted). I also want to keep this fluff night as lighthearted as possible. If you want to talk about angsty topics that's fine, but I won't be talking about abuse, discrimination, etc--if y'all want a time to talk about that, I can host an angst night, but I really need a designated time to stay positive right now.

im not taking full requests, we're just talking. Meaning, you can talk as much or as little as you want but I wont be writing any full fics.

This is an inclusive blog: racism, transphobia, homophobia, ace/aro-phobia, bi/panphobia, body-shaming, ableism, antisemitism, etc. will not be tolerated. as an addition, I will try my best not to assume anyone's physical features, religion, etc., including assigned sex at birth (if reader is not specified cis or trans I will make it applicable to both). I am willing to write for any kind of reader (gender, body type, race, disabilities/abilities--both mental and physical, etc., but I will avoid assuming--if you want any of these included in my thoughts you have to specify. I will almost never say no to a type of reader but I will add a disclaimer if I'm not super familiar with something)

you're never annoying me. And It's very hard to offend me unless you're being blatantly bigoted/discriminatory. I'm known for being obnoxiously difficult to offend/bother.

I'll talk about pretty much anything (see first point for boundaries)

Any Pedro character can be included, regardless of whether I normally write them or not. If I'm not familiar with a character I will look them up. Please no rpf. You can talk about as many or as few characters at a time as you want.

This blog is polyamory-friendly. As a poly person myself, I am comfortable talking about poly relationships if anyone is interested. (infidelity is NOT poly. all parties involved (characters or otherwise) in any discussion of poly relationships must be willingly consenting adults). note about Oberyn; I will always assume Ellaria is included in the relationship unless otherwise specified. That is the only time I will assume we're talking about a poly relationship without it being first specified by you.

if you want me to assume a platonic relationship, either specify or use this emoji: 💫. for romanic but not sexual: 💝. For sexual but not romantic: 💋

no worries if you can't come up With a coherent thought. You can send whatever ideas you come up with and I'll talk about whatever comes to mind. Any and all asks I get today (unless very obviously unrelated) will be assumed to be part of the fluff night

I mentioned this above, but I will write for any gender identity and any sex assigned at birth. Anything not specified will be kept totally neutral (gender roles are non-existent to me so discussion of anything that is "typically reserved for one gender" will not lead to assumptions about gender identity or assigned sex at birth)

For inspiration, you can find content from previous fluff nights by searching "Pedro Fluff Night" on my blog.

please signal boost! anyone can join in, you do NOT have to already be established in the fandom or be following me. this is all just for fun, positivity, and to spread some extra love 💕

Adding my taglist in case y’all wanna join, but don’t feel like you have to!

@trashbin2 @fioccodineveautunnale @pascalisthepunkest @ah-callie @spookyold-saintjm @synystersilenceinblacknwhite

#pedro pascal #Selkie!Tovar #javier pena #din djarin #the mandalorian #ezra prospect #max phillips #agent whiskey #catfish morales #frankie morales #pero tovar #marcus pike #zach wellison #maxwell lord #marcus moreno #shane dio morrissey #omar assarian #dave york #oberyn martell

10 notes · View notes

ask-whitepearl-and-steven · 4 years

Note

Hey Chekhov, I'm gonna say in advance that if this ask is too invasive and/or personal, please ignore it. I recently came out to my best friend(and myself) that I am nonbinary, and the thing that made me realize was that I had experienced pretty bad gender dysphoria when I was younger(w/o having a term to describe it). I am curious in your own experiences with dysphoria, whether you had any, how it was for you, etc.

Aight, I’m gonna put this under a cut because I’m sure no one else need to be reading through my life story (which is painfully boring):

Basically to get a few things out of the way immediately because I know there will be some people reading this looking to poke fun at me for it, so this first part is for you - to give you something to do with your time because I pity you:

I identify as agender, I consider myself to fall under the umbrella term ‘nonbinary’, and I have felt this way throughout basically... my whole life. (Granted, I also did not have words for this until I was in my late teens.)

I’ve used the word agender for myselg for about 10 years now, my views regarding my gender have not shifted - and I hate the presumption that there are ‘trans-trenders’ out there. I don’t personally believe that is a thing. I think exploring your gender feelings and your gender presentation and etc is super cool and an interesting thing to do.

I believe negotiating yourself socially with regards to your gender is actually quite healthy, so if you think it’s “just a call for attention” then we already disagree.

People want to be perceived in specific ways. That’s not a novel concept. Most people have an image of themselves they like to broadcast to the world. (Strong, smart, witty, friendly, a salesman, an artist, a feminine icon, etc.) This has been true for CENTURIES. It just so happens that now we can finally be more flexible in how we perceive gender without life threatening repercussions, so many more people are open to the idea of doing it.

I do not believe that one must have dysphoria to be trans/non-binary, although obviously many transgender people do. I believe the defining experience of identifying as trans is a GOAL of how you want to be perceived or how you want yourself to be defined in society, because - again - I believe gender is socially and culturally negotiated.

If you disagree with any of this - cool. You can send a message to my main tumblr @thechekhov and yell at me about it if that’s how you enjoy spending your time, but I cannot promise I’ll answer you because frankly I have hobbies and shit I enjoy doing, so I’ll probably be doing that instead.

And as an off-topic mention: I don’t personally identify as ‘trans’ (although many nonbinary people obviously do, and have every right to) and there’s a lot that goes into that but the bottom line is that I just don’t want to take up space in that community because I personally don’t want to ‘transition’ and that’s not a part of my identity in that big of a way.

But regardless of that:

To get to the meat of it (and get ready to be thoroughly disappointed if you’re carnivorous because I am the worst person to ask about this.)

I drew the lucky lottery ticket of genetics and scored well in two fields:

1) I’m white (bears mentioning, because people of color honestly get so much more shit for being nonbinary)

2) I’m naturally relatively slim and puberty kinda grazed me instead of hitting me head on. I never developed overt (publically visible) secondary sexual characteristics for my ‘assigned’ gender.

So by and by, I’m actually already WAY not the person to talk to about this because I got off easy and I’ve never actually had any big amounts of dysphoria. Other people had dysphoria FOR me (my grandmother lamented my androgyny on my behalf) - but I was always quite comfortable with my body.

It also has to be mentioned that I never actually actively cared about my body. I was briefly invested in fashion in high school, and through college experimented with fashion and various haircuts, but three out of the five days a week I literally do not look in the mirror before I go to work. And this has nothing to do with hating how I look - I just forget to. So... I suppose that says something about me. Not sure what. (My coworkers have never complained terribly about what I wear, so presumably I do a swell enough job of passing as a human being with functioning eyes).

That being said - when I dress to my assigned gender, I often get comments that kind of skim the borderline of “oh, finally, you’re normal for a change”. They’re always well-meant, but quite surprised, because I feel like people have come to expect me to dress a little weirdly.

And that isn’t to say I haven’t experienced disgruntlement with how I’m perceived. People often purposefully gender me at work - and that’s not a totally bad thing, and I don’t blame them for it. The country I live in has close to ZERO knowledge of non-binary identities, even WITHIN the local LGBTQA+ community, so I can’t expect others to know anything more. But I think my ability to not care about this spills over from my ability to not care about my appearance. It’s just a handy little personality trait - I am blissfully indifferent to what others think of me 90% of the time (as for the other 10%... well... we all have bad days. I’m not totally emotionless.)

Perhaps this will get me into hot water but - I’ve never once corrected a person about my own gender. I’ve been fully comfortable in it, and I am aware of it in my own head but as someone who has been in the closet about my bisexuality for over 10 years, I am not invested in risking social retaliation for the sake of something I know 90% of the people around me will not understand - or perhaps purposefully misunderstand.

If asked about it I’m rather forthright, and I make jokes about it with friends, but other than that I just kind of.... live my life. Whether or not I’m ‘clearly nonbinary’ to my peers is up for debate - I like to think I am, but like the metaphorical mirror that I avoid looking into, I never actually questioned any of my irl friends about how well I ‘pass’ or... don’t, I guess? But it’s not actually that important to me. I dress how I enjoy dressing, which is, I think, the most important thing (and it confuses the students a bit, they can’t gender me as successfully as adults can).

And that’s all I need, really.

Cheers.

#chekhov answers #nonbinary nb #enby #agender #Anonymous

538 notes · View notes

sanderssidesfanfiction · 4 years

Text

Royal Growing Pains - Chapter Eighteen

Warnings: Homophobia, transphobia, misgendering, sympathetic Deceit

Royal Growing Pains Tag

Roman and Damien continued dancing all around the ballroom until Logan saw fit to stop them, at which point Roman felt considerably better, but not better enough to do much more than just stand around and make jokes. “Should I teach the two of you some steps to other dances for more contemporary songs?” Logan asked.

“Oh, I don’t want to think about what I’m going to have to do once the first dance is over,” Roman bemoaned.

“Think of it this way, my dear: if you know how to dance more you’re less likely to have to talk to the homophobic and transphobic parts of your family,” Damien pointed out.

“You have a point, and I hate that you have a point,” Roman sulked. “Okay. I’d go through some of the steps, once I’ve gotten a break to drink some water.”

Logan held up a finger and walked over to where he had placed the stereo down, tossing Roman a bottle of water. Roman yipped and his hands smacked the bottle a few times before he finally caught it. Damien was laughing and Logan just stared blankly at him. “I should have considered you might not be a good catcher, my apologies,” Logan said. “After all, you don’t seem to catch hints, and water bottles are not that different from the hints someone in this room has been dropping.”

“Logan,” Damien growled, and Roman was stunned. He had never heard Damien growl quite like that before. “Don’t.”

“All right. I won’t,” Logan said simply. “I’ll let the two of you ponder over what I mean.”

Roman twisted the cap on the water bottle, breaking the seal and taking two large gulps of water before gasping as he spoke, “I know. Obviously, you’re talking about the treasure hunt that is undoubtedly going to happen when Damien remembers we have to have wedding bands.”

Damien turned as pale as a ghost. “Oh, god, oh no, oh shit!” Damien breathed. “The wedding bands! Roman, I need your ring size, quick!”

“I...I don’t know my ring size,” Roman said, blinking and trying to bite back his laughter.

“What are we going to do?!” Damien asked. “We need wedding bands, but we don’t have any!”

“Relax, Damien. If our mothers don’t have a plan, we can easily go into town and get them. Maybe we can go down after my fitting and take a look at different rings, find something that both of us like?” Roman offered.

“Okay...okay...” Damien breathed. “We can do this. It’ll be okay. We can take care of this and no one has to be the wiser to the internal panic.”

“Internal?” Roman asked with a smirk. “Damien, your panic seems pretty external to me.”

“Shush,” Damien said, scowling and pointing a finger at Roman, but not looking at him. “I am not debating you when I’m this stressed.”

Roman whistled and looked at Logan, who appeared just as surprised as Roman felt. “Your Highness, it’s all right,” he said hesitantly. “Everything will be fine. I’m sure that your mother has plans to find the perfect rings for the two of you. She was talking to me about jewelers the other day, in fact. Deep breaths.”

Damirn took one deep breath, then another, and then a third. “All right,” he breathed. “All right. I’ll try to remain calm. Being in a panic won’t help anyone anyway.”

Logan nodded. “Now, I do believe that Roman has his fitting in a couple minutes.” Roman’s stomach flipped. “Which means I might conclude our dance practice for now and make the two of you practice more later tonight. Damien, do you want to walk Roman to the room Remy is using?”

“Oh, uh, I can walk by myself...” Roman said weakly. “It’s not a problem, if Remy is right where he was the last time.”

Damien looked somewhat shocked. “Are you sure? I can walk you, my dear, it would be no trouble...”

“I’m sure,” Roman said with a nod and a smile. “I don’t want you to have to worry about me making any more jokes in poor taste. I can walk by myself and give you time alone to worry about the rings and the like.”

“My dear, if you’re trying to get rid of me, it won’t work,” Damien said with a slight smile. “It’s okay if you make a joke or two. I rather appreciate your kind of humor.”

“Are you sure? I mean, when I tried to make a joke about love, that definitely...fell flat,” Roman said.

“It didn’t fall flat, I simply wasn’t expecting it, my dear,” Damien said smoothly. “I did appreciate the fact that you were trying to make the best out of the situation we’re in.”

Roman’s stomach settled a fraction, but he still felt uneasy. He knew that Damien could never love him because of Roman’s body. And Damien wasn’t revealing anything about his feelings towards Roman, good or bad, so Roman had to assume that Damien merely felt neutral about their relationship. A good friend, perhaps, but nothing more. No matter how much Roman may want them to be more.

Damien offered his hand to Roman. “Come on, my dear, allow me the pleasure of walking you to Remy?”

Roman reluctantly took Damien’s hand and Damien walked him out of the ballroom and down the hallways. Roman sighed. His stomach was still flipping, and every time he looked at Damien he felt worse. Damien seemed like the picture perfect prince. Someone who didn’t mind Roman’s jokes, who didn’t mind getting dirty but was still a perfect gentleman when the time called for it. And honestly, Roman could see himself falling in love with Damien naturally, if they had met casually. But Damien could never feel the same, and it made Roman feel miserable.

Damien squeezed Roman’s hand. “I can hear the wheels turning in your head, my dear,” Damien said. “Everything will be all right, understand? We’ll get you out of your house and you can be whoever you want to be. And I have no doubt that Remy will make the suit you’re going to wear positively stunning.”

Roman offered Damien a weak smile. “Thank you,” he said.

“That’s not what you’re worried about?” Damien asked, frowning.

Damn it, Damien was perceptive. “No, not right now,” Roman admitted.

“What seems to be troubling you, my dear?” Damien asked, looking Roman over.

“The problem is that he has the hots for you and you can’t see it, babes!” Remy called from down the hallway.

Damien scoffed a, “Please,” and Roman felt ten times more miserable. That just confirmed his suspicions. Damien was disgusted at the thought of Roman being attracted to him. Roman had half a mind to cry, but he bit back his tears the best he could. Now was not the time to cry. He needed to wait until Damien was gone, or else Roman would admit that he loved Damien and Damien would have to confirm that while trying to comfort Roman. And Roman didn’t want to put either of them through that pain.

Damien sighed and turned to Roman. “I’m afraid this must be where I leave you, my dear. My parents wanted the suit to be a surprise for me,” Damien said. “But my mother is undoubtedly in the room, and we shouldn’t leave her waiting.”

Roman gave Damien another weak smile and a nod. “I’ll see you after the fitting,” he said. “We have some things to plan for the wedding, after all.”

Damien offered a strained smile and a nod. “And we’ll figure out what to do about the wedding bands,” he said.

“Yes, we will,” Roman agreed. “Deep breaths, Damien. Everything will be all right. You said so yourself.”

“Boys, stop being gay and let me get Roman in his suit!” Remy groaned.

Roman laughed and walked away from Damien, towards Remy, tossing a wave and a wink over his shoulder. Damien raised his hand up in a tiny wave and walked back down the hall. Roman groaned as he walked into the room Remy was using. “I realized something, Remy: I’m completely screwed.”

Remy sighed. “Saw it coming, babes. Everyone knows you’re hopelessly in love.”

“Well, hopeless is right,” Roman sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The Queen was in the room, standing in front of a mannequin, observing it. “Roman, everyone in this castle knows you’re in love with my son aside from my son himself. Don’t even bother arguing that you’re not in love.”

“Never said I wasn’t,” Roman said with a shrug. “Just said I’m hopeless.”

“Okay, why are you hopeless?” the Queen said, turning to glance at Roman.

Roman crossed his arms and made a noncommittal noise, hunching his shoulders. He certainly didn’t want to admit what he was thinking, regardless of how true it was. He didn’t want to paint Damien as a transphobe.

“Babes, if you’re having body issues, I guarantee I can help with some of that dysphoria with the suit I’ve put together,” Remy said.

Roman sighed. “Am I that easy to read?” he lightly groused.

“Only a little,” Remy said with a shrug. “Your Majesty, do you mind letting me show His Highness the suit?”

“Of course not,” the Queen said, backing away from the mannequin and letting Roman get a good look at the suit.

Roman couldn’t help it; he stared. The suit was a pristine white, exactly like a bride’s dress would be, but that wasn’t what was giving him pause. Across the suit’s chest was gold frill and trim, with a bright red sash cutting across it from the right shoulder to the left hip. On each side of the arms, there was Roman’s family’s crest, the castle under the sun. He grinned when he saw it. “Wow, this is great,” he said. “I love the work you put into it.”

“I’m glad, babes, but I need to know it fits you, too,” Remy said. “D’you mind putting it on before you say anything else?”

“That’s fine,” Roman said, walking over to the suit and pulling at his T-shirt to get it off without much of a second thought. He glanced at the Queen and offered her a small smile. “You don’t mind my stripping in front of you, right?”

“It’s necessary to put on the suit, so I’ll allow it in this instance,” the Queen said with a playful smile.

Roman took off his bra and put on the top of the suit, recognizing the shortness of breath he got from a binder. “Is the binder sewn into the material?” he asked.

“That it is, babes, and that was not easy, lemme tell you,” Remy said. “But I figured we should probably have it built in just in case. And I made sure to give it just enough room that if you got wet, you wouldn’t suffocate.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” Roman said with a little grin.

“Let’s get you into the rest of the suit and in front of a mirror,” Remy said.

“Okay, okay!” Roman said, holding his hands up in surrender. He changed out of the skirt he had been forced into today and changed into the suit pants. Remy walked over and dramatically flipped the mirror the mannequin had been next to, so the back of the mirror was no longer facing him, and Roman got a proper look at himself in it. His jaw dropped and he gawked, unable to help himself. “Woah,” he breathed.

His chest looked completely flat when he turned to the side. Tears were pricking his eyes and he brought a hand to his mouth, grin threatening to split his face in two. “I love it,” he said.

Remy walked around him, gently yanking on the material, smoothing this and that and looking at him from every angle. “And everything seems to be a perfect fit, which is promising,” he said. “This is good.”

“It also means that we have a good portion of the afternoon now free,” the Queen said with a grin. “Because we had to allow for the possibility of Remy taking hours to tweak. But since everything was done right the first time, we have more time before our next meeting with anyone important. Which means it’s time to look into rings at the jeweler’s.”

“Oh, yeah, Damien and I talked about that during our dance practice,” Roman said.

“I assumed as much. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, my dear, I had to talk to your mother,” the Queen said. “I’m unimpressed, and I thought higher of her than her behavior the past couple days.”

“It’s okay, she disappoints everyone sooner or later,” Roman said drily.

Remy cackled and the Queen covered her mouth, but Roman could see by her eyes she was smiling. “Get back into your day clothes, dear, we don’t want to give the game away by you walking around in your suit.”

“Oh, true,” Roman said, taking off the suit and changing back into his day clothes. Inwardly, though, he felt a wave of dysphoria building. All he could think about in a skirt was the way his body had betrayed him. He couldn’t stand being seen as female. It just didn’t feel natural to him.

The Queen put a hand around Roman’s shoulders and thanked Remy as they walked out of the room. “Feeling better, dear?” the Queen asked.

“I felt better in the suit,” Roman said. “It almost allowed me to forget.”

“Forget?” the Queen asked.

“Forget that my body doesn’t feel like mine,” Roman said.

“I know it must feel that way, dear,” the Queen sighed. “But I hope that with time you’ll find ways to identify with your body and feel like yourself when you look in the mirror.”

Roman offered her a grim smile and a small, “Maybe one day.”

They made their way to the front of the castle, and Roman was just feeling worse as he heard his mother talking in the hallway. He could hear Damien as well, but not what he was saying.

Turning down a hall, Damien said, “See? Here they are now. I told you my mother would find her.”

Her. The word hurt more than it usually did. Roman bit back tears.

His mother was giving him a once over. “Are you feeling all right, Veronica? You look ill.”

Trapped. He was trapped, nowhere to go. “Fine, Mother,” Roman said with a wave of his hand. “I’m a little tired, but fine.”

His mother nodded and promptly moved on. “Rose, are we ready to look for the rings? I think these two need to find their matches before the day is up.”

“Yes, everything went well with Remy, he won’t need to see Veronica for the rest of the day.”

Roman thought his throat might close up. He never wanted to hear that name again.

Damien was looking at him with concern, but Roman couldn’t bring himself to focus on anything except the conversation unfolding in front of him. The Queen dropped her arm from around Roman’s shoulders, and Roman felt only marginally more like he could breathe. Everything seemed too bright and too dark, too loud and too quiet at once. “Do you have anything in mind for the rings?” the Queen asked.

“No, not really,” his mother said with a shrug. “Something more feminine in style and cut might be nice, though, for Veronica. She has the fingers for it, after all.”

Roman was crying before he even realized what was going on. His entire body was trembling and he slowly backed away from the two women talking. Damien’s mouth was moving, but Roman couldn’t hear him over the use of his deadname, the wrong pronouns, the reminder that his body would never be capable of love by someone who was cisgender.

Without much thought, he turned and ran, breath heaving in gasps as he cried. He wasn’t sure if it was audible or not, he certainly couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in his ears.

Roman’s left foot got caught on his right shoelace and he toppled to the floor, palms and knees stinging at colliding with the tile, and no energy or desire to get up. He laid there, continuing to sob, the ringing fading away until he could hear how pathetic he sounded, crying over something as stupid as a comment on his hands. He didn’t bang his fists into the floor, too tired to even think about showing any signs of a tantrum.

Footsteps sounded behind him and three people skidded to a stop in the hallway. “Veronica, how many times do I have to tell you not to run away from situations you feel tired of? I know you may want to rest, but that is no excuse—”

“—Stop that!” Damien exclaimed. “Stop scolding her! Can’t you see she’s had enough already?!”

Roman didn’t respond, pretended he couldn’t hear when in actuality every use of the wrong pronoun stabbed him in the chest.

“My dear,” Damien said softly. “May we talk? I didn’t get to speak much to you this afternoon, and I would like to further our discussion privately. Maybe help you feel better?”

Roman sniffled and finally pushed himself up onto his forearms. “What’s the use?” he sobbed. “It won’t change anything. To bring up the obvious is only going to hurt me more.”

“My dear, you may think it’s obvious, but no one else here knows what’s going on,” Damien said. “Please. Let us help you. Let me help you. You don’t have to talk to all of us at once, but please at least tell me? I can pass along the message if it’s too painful for you to tell anyone else.”

“I don’t want to,” Roman said softly. “It’s too painful. I don’t want to.”

Damien helped Roman to his feet as Roman continued to cry. “Then let’s just talk about other things for a while,” Damien said. “Let’s just sit down the two of us. I’ll do everything I can to help make you feel better.”

Roman looked down at the ground, blinking as a few more tears fell. He really didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to admit to Damien why he felt so terrible. But he knew. He knew if he didn’t say something now, he’d just have to do it later. And later he might not have the promise of being alone. “Can we speak in the library? Alone?” Roman asked.

“Yes, of course,” Damien said, wrapping an arm around Roman’s shoulders and guiding him away from their mothers. “Let’s talk in the library.”

Tag List: @lunareclipse-13@sanders-sides-crofters@blushy-gigglee-mess@wannacrymetoo@kaytikitty@magicalspacepanunicorn@bootsinthesun@pricklyfish777@flowersanddinosaurs@leiasolo77@birdybabybird@enby-phoenix@luna–28@justagaygoose@the-prince-and-the-emo@fandomsandanythingelse@randommuffinyt@snekky-boi@thesoftestlittlepuffballwegot@twilight-trix@abby5577@escalatingtoofast@friendlyfacestabbing@remus-is-stinky@foggybanditdreampeanut@ghostskull300@sprinklestheditty@canvas-the-florist@askthesnake@samuel-the-gay@determination-saved@juicy-cashew@demidork84@why-should-i-tell-youu2@nerd-in-space@aphriteblack@loganpatton@lilbeanblr@kittyboof8@irish-newzealand-idian-dutch@sanders-trash-4ever@hamilspntrash@swords-and-kittens@phantomfander@narniasfinestavengingsociopath @rjmeta@ambersky0319@anni-cat-flower@idosanderssidespromptssometimes@nafsbluebery@redisawerewolf23@voidvirgil@msu82@angstyfanfiction

#roceit #sanders sides fanfiction #roman sanders #logan sanders #deceit sanders #remy sanders #royal growing pains #our creations

54 notes · View notes

nonbinaryresource · 4 years

Note

I'm figuring out that I'm nonbinary for the first time and I'm so scared. I'm also figuring out that I have dysphoria. All my life I've felt like I was incomplete like I was missing certain anatomy down there. To be more specific, one part grew out but the other didn't grow out. As an adult the dysphoria has been getting harder and it's harder to touch my own body. My question is, do you have any tips for washing your body? This really isn't meant to be sexual I'm in tears I'm so embarrassed.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling with dysphoria in this way and on top of that feeling like you’re doing something wrong that you need to be embarrassed and ashamed!

You’re certainly not doing anything wrong by experiencing dysphoria or being uncomfortable with your body.

One thing I’d certainly do is start working on CBT techniques (the free app Sanvello will help out with this) to help mentally cope with dysphoria and to help stop fighting yourself over feeling your feelings. I’ve heard from a lot of trans people with dysphoria how CBT techniques really helped give them useful tools to managing their dysphoria, so it’s really work putting the time in for this. Dysphoria sucks, but there’s no need to add more mental strain on top of that by beating yourself up for feeling something you can’t help feeling. I would also check out the other methods listed in our coping tag.

As for washing itself, I think there’s quite a few things you can try - together or separately, whatever works for you.

- Do some (guided) meditation before/during your shower. I use the free app Insight Timer, which has thousands of free meditation sessions from plain music to guided for sleep, anxiety reduction, calmness, intention setting, depression management, etc. I would suggest trying out one meant to manage anxiety or promote calmness to help your state of mind going into and during the shower.

- Play music during your shower. You could try calming/soothing music or distracting music (something that makes you feel like dancing or singing along?) or even put on a podcast to have something else to focus on besides your discomfort.

- Daydream while you wash. Just focus on anything else and let yourself clean on autopilot.

- Think about showering in the dark or in low light. It won’t stop what you feel, but you won’t have to see it as much and that might help you. It used to help me when I was so sex repulsed that I was repulsed by my own body, anyway.

- Cover the mirror or take a hot shower to fog the mirror up for when you get out.

- Shower with swim bottoms/a swim top/a shirt on. You’ll need to reach under the swim suit to clean yourself, but putting on swim clothing that make you comfortable might overall help reduce the anxiety you feel in the shower and make touching yourself for a short period of time seem more doable. You can also try showering with the right exercise clothes on. I’ve read that some exercise clothes, due to their nature of being breathable and having to be made for sweat, can actually be fine to clean yourself through them, and that would be one more layer between your hand and your body.

- What do you use to shower to wash yourself? Try mixing it up to something that requires you feel your body (or at least the parts of your body that makes you most uncomfortable) less. This could be a loofa, body scrubber, or body sponge (obviously you won’t want something too coarse if one of your big trouble areas is your sensitive bottom areas) - there’s a surprising amount of variety in products out there meant for helping to clean your body.

- Take fast showers. You do not have to spend half an hour scrubbing everything raw. Do what you can handle. If that’s a quick lather and rinse that is fine.

- Shower in the middle of a busy day so you know there’s a time limit for being in the shower and you have other things to focus on (completing your to-do list).

- Buy shampoo/conditioner/body wash/soap/bubble bath/bath bombs/shower bombs that you really like the smell/feel of. There are a few 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash products you can try. I know some people prefer these because they seem quicker. Buy these products from whatever section you prefer or go for products that don’t specifically say man/woman on them - whatever is more comfortable for you. Buy your body scrubber of choice in a color you really like if at all possible. Having things you really enjoy available in the shower/bath can help give you some positives to focus on and make bathing more enjoyable.

- Lay out the clothes you’re going to change into beforehand if being naked bothers you. (It used to bother me, and I would take my clothes to the bathroom to shove on as soon as I finished drying off.)

- Have a plan for after you wash for something fun/enjoyable/relaxing to do, even if just for 10 minutes. This might be cooking a meal, going for a run, stretching, reading, putting on a movie, eating a meal, knitting, shadow boxing, calling a friend, writing, drawing, working on your car, etc.

- If you’re having trouble scrubbing yourself up, just get in the shower, wash what you can (hair? face? neck? feet? armpits? arms?), and rinse off. Just give yourself a few minutes for water to run over your body. Something is better than nothing.

- If you’re having a string of time where you just can’t get in the shower: wash your hair in the sink or use some dry shampoo if possible, wash your face, wash your armpits (maybe a bit of your arms), and wash your feet (and maybe even your calves part of your thighs). You can use cleaning wipes or just a washcloth and some soap leaning over the tub. Maybe take some time to do some other grooming: clip your nails, shave wherever if you shave, take care of your cuticles, lotion where you can lotion. Also remember to change your underwear everyday regardless of if you wash or not. Something is better than nothing.

Above all, be sure to give yourself a break and treat yourself with kindness and patience. You’re doing what you can, and that’s enough.

[Drawing of a green frog by artist yuni hong. The frog is facing the screen with its arms linked in front of it. It has a curly, French mustache, is wearing a beret, and is holding some baguettes and a bottle of wine. Above the frog is a speech bubble with the frog saying “You’re doing great!”]

~Pluto

#mod pluto #dysphoria #showering #hygiene #bathing #washing #coping #long post #mod tera #anonymous #ask #answered #asked #nonbinary

35 notes · View notes

my-darling-boy · 4 years

Note

Hio! so I want to bind but I can’t (or am not allowed) to get a binder. Is there anything I can use in place of it? I use a sports bra but it doesn’t always work the best. Also best wishes in your pursuit of finding a place to move to ::)

Hello! I just want to say that I’ve DEFINITELY been there before and know that struggle :’) I had a much bigger chest for my size than the little one I have now and figuring out how to conceal my chest was a pain (literally!)

The sort of bad news is that there is really no other “safe” method of binding besides using a binder that was made with safety in mind for a trans/gender non-con person or using a sports bra(s).

As you probably already know, you cannot use medical bandage or duct tape when binding. There are trans people who have tried using TransTape to gauge their level of binding (which could make great for subtle binding cos unlike a binder, you could tape down more or less tightly) but with that being said, I DON’T recommend it. TransTape is—regardless of what misinfo you might hear, even if it was “made by a trans person”— KT tape (that typical black tape you see crossed over nipples) and while it has advantages over a binder, there are still some serious risks to it, more so in some cases than a binder, and causes severe skin irritation in some wearers. Not to mention, it’s just overpriced KT tape that is made to fit a chest more, but with the same danger as usual KT tape

On the flip side, I have a few much safer concealing tips that could make the chest area ambiguous or give the optical illusion the chest is smaller if you are not allowed to purchase/can’t afford a binder. They depend on chest size obviously, but you can give them a go!

1. Layering shirts

This isn’t always going to work with everyone’s dysphoria, but some people find layering shirts can help make the chest area and abdomen equate more in “thickness”/smoothness so there doesn’t appear to be stark contrast between the chest size compared to the rest of the torso

2. Sports bras

Sounds like you’ve already tried this one! Wearing a snug sports bra can help compress. Some people opt to wear two, one facing forwards, and one on top facing backwards. While the additional sports bra may help to smooth out the area, it more often than not does not create more compression as thought, but simply adds another layer of fabric to smooth out the chest area by wearing the bigger, flatter back side of the bra in the front. Be sure you aren’t wearing a sports bra that is much too tight, else you risk the same effects as wearing a tight binder

3. Wearing poofy jackets/sweaters

While this may seem counter intuitive, I personally found this tip for me to be much more helpful than the usual “Wear oversized clothing”. The advantage of wearing a poofy jacket over a big hoodie is that you don’t have to sacrifice the proper fit of an item to get the same (if not better) chest concealment. If you wear a poofy jacket, your chest will only fill up the leftover cavity inside the garment. Basically, it gives the optical illusion on the outside that the poofiness of the jacket/sweater is just the natural poof of the garment, and not because of your chest underneath.

Oversized clothing can still be a helpful tip, but I know I was made dysphoric when I saw that the hoodie/top went out as far as my chest stuck out and made that weird curtain of excess fabric hang down over my abdomen from the “shelf” created by my chest. Poofier garments can help extend outwards the area over your collar bones to create one smooth side silhouette to de-emphasise the appearance of a chest.

This is why I might also advice against turtlenecks, buttoning a shirt all the way to the top or any shirt that would help define (from the side) the space above the chest cos it could spark your dysphoria seeing that deep “swoop” from your neck to your chest

I got a poofy jacket from H&M and it is a GODSEND. Sometimes if I’m going to wear it, I don’t even bind because you can’t tell my chest is underneath. It also has poofy arms which make my shoulders appear bigger, and it cinches in at the wrists and lower abdomen to continue my V shape (or create the illusion of one of you don’t quite have one and want one). And the best part? It still looks like fitted clothing without giving up concealing my chest.

4. Balancing out other parts of the silhouette

This is a case by case basis, as there are many different parts of the body a person can feel dysphoric about, but instead of concentrating on decreasing the size of one body feature, sometimes emphasising another body feature can help make the former appear smaller.

If you can’t bind and want the chest to appear smaller, wearing things with wider shoulders or bulkier arms can help correct the balance of widths in your upper torso. Sewing a strip of interfacing or stiff fabric into the shoulder seams of flannels, button ups, sweaters, and other tops can help add more structure to the upper body and make your chest instead appear more muscular.

Part of this tip will be experimentation, as everyones bodies and how they experience dysphoria is different. You may find high waisted trousers make you feel less dysphoric or for some reason wearing This One Shirt makes you feel really good about your chest!

5. Asymmetrical or scattered shirt patterns

Striped shirts, mostly vertical but also horizontal, and squared “grid-like” patterns can sometimes create unneeded definition to any chest. When thinking of three dimensional objects, vertical and horizontal lines are there to provide depth. If our brains detect depth variations in straight lines (for instance, in a vertically striped shirt over a large chest) our brains can easily decipher shapes behind those lines because the lines define depth.

Therefore, shirts with crazy “busy” patterns, asymmetrical lines, diagonal lines, dotted shirts, or plain shirts patterned with drawings or singular objects, you can visually disrupt people’s ability—as well your own— to see the depth of your chest (i.e. how far it sticks out).

ALSO.

If you would still like to order a binder and bind only when out in public but need to buy it secretly because of parents or guardians making your life difficult, during the holidays or nearing a birthday is a GREAT time to buy. If you order the package yourself and it arrives, you can say it’s a gift for a friend.

I don’t know about other binder brands but Underworks is my go-to binder, and I know they sell through Amazon. Meaning, it’s discrete packaging just marked with the Amazon logo and no one will know you’re buying a binder. DEFINTIELY opt to do your own laundry if you don’t already or wash it in the tub/sink and let it air dry in your room so you can always make sure no one at home knows you have it.

Obviously, if you have very strict people at home, be careful or don’t do this at all; it’s just my advice to someone who knows they could successfully do something like this. If you shouldn’t risk it, don’t, and opt for the latter tips instead

And thanks for the best wishes too!

#asks #yes I write long responses sometimes #but tbh I like to be Clear abt these things #trans #binding

65 notes · View notes