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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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secret demon canon: tummy out
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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Hi! I was reading your tags and I was curious what you meant by fake dating uno reverse (I loooove hearing peoples theories!!!)
ALRIGHT ima fucking bullet point these and you can mark it like a bloody pop quiz idk
•Bunnies This one has me laughing because it’s almost a mirror of your one shot where Solomon brings asmo to his cottage and shows him bunnies, one of which was named after him, right? It’s also just hit me writing this now the link of fertility and lust, I guess writing things out helps huh?
•Stain glass windows This one may be more far fetched, but isn’t there stained glass windows in the intro video to the game? There’s only seven there though as they’re in hell, so the eight in Arcadia, including Lilith? Not to mention the obvious connotations to Christianity which has sparked some thoughts about the death of their father and the celestial war
•Scorpion Jewellery Ok so this was an obvious one pointing at asmos demon form, the bejewelled gold scorpion, but the whole ‚false appearances‘ with demon forms and Lilith (who I am so certain is Asmo but I’ll get to that) The whole enchantment thing is very cool tho!!
•Deceased King So ima make a jump and overlay cannon in that the king would be god, which pokes another theory but the fact that he’s dead?? D a m n like I’ve said it once I’ll say it again, wasn’t expecting that. There’s a few thoughts on this one
–He was killed, an inside job. This would line up with the last chapter in which lucifer displayed his disapproval of some of his fathers thoughts about ‚Lilith‘. If it’d been the brothers turned against the king (with azazel possibly) in attempt to over throw/ take over yknow?
–It had nothing to do with the brothers and it was just Azazel. No solid evidence here, he’s just shady. Him and sol r either gonna be best buddies or they are gonna try kill eachother, I can feel it in my bones. Oh wait one evidence, Lucifers emphasis on taking threats seriously. If it wasn’t lucifer then he would probably be suspicious and be desperate to find the rat so to speak
–ITS FAKE. Fake fake dating? Faked d e a t h. Not hard to believe. Not sure what he would be doing if this was the case, but I need to mention it so I can say that I thought so all along.
•Lilith I couldn’t not mention this ofc, but I’m so sure it’s asmo, the Focus on eye for Beauty, the bunnies, the perfumes, the jewellery, everyone’s uncertainty of wether their name is really Lilith. Not to mention the fun little Solomon: fertility :) ‘Lilith’: aha you want kids 0-0
–How did lilith die was it just a fun natural death that the royals didn’t want to admit to? Was it perhaps an accidental murder? Or, my favourite, did Lilith run away. I have the most evidence for the last one of course, I mean the family would want to cover it up, forcing asmo to take her place, in OM canon she runs away so it’s not as if it’s a baseless idea, plus it’d explain the anxiety with the wedding being pushed forward, perhaps they had hoped Lilith would return before the wedding?
–I am very obsessed with this idea of asmo pretending to be Lilith tho, like there’s so much potential with it and I just KNOW you’re going to do an awesome job and I’m gonna be shocked no matter what. The little ‚Will I not be sleeping with my future wife?‘ ‚No >:(‚ has me in stitches
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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Thrones are Built on Lies Chapter 2: Welcome to Arcadia
AO3
Ship: ???
Word Count
Warnings: None
A/N: Here’s chapter 2! I know it’s a little late, but I have it for you! I’m really excited to have more of this AU out and I hope you guys like it!
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2
Keep reading
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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Thrones are Built on Lies Chapter 1: Making Deals with the Devil
AO3
Ship: ???
Word Count: 3012
Warnings: None
A/N: Welcome to the start of my next chapter fic! I’m not sure if I’ll be able to update this one as regularly, but I’ll try! I hope you guys enjoy it! (I’ll also still try to post stuff in between chapter updates!)
Keep reading
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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06052021//waiting for the farmer
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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talk to me about your om fave and i'll try and guess it [uquiz]
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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What a pain the ass hng
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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please. stop praying for my grandpa!!! you are making him too strong
og design./ @waltnut
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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Okay so I have some thoughts...If he was never a child, can he change his appearance like age? Based on some trivia on his wiki page- cannot confirm if this is legit or not but it’s a fun concept.
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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•Only Lucifer knows how to make doctors appointments
I can’t be bothered to draw all these headcanons but here are some obey me headcanons that maybe ONE DAY I will draw <3
-barbatos cuts his own hair in the mirror at 3 am because he’s stressed out all the time so when he gets time to himself he just finds things to do and cutting his hair is relaxing because it’s his hair he’s fuckinf up so he doesn’t mind it looking bad (I LOVE BARBS HAIR BTW ITS SO STRANGE)
- beel is black,,,that’s the headcanon beel is black lol and so is belphie
- Satan is aroace and is out to his family and asmo bought him a pride flag <3
-Levi has acne and is really self conscious about it so he likes to cover his face a lot with his sleeve when he’s in public
-Levi and Luke are autistic
-diavolo has a Italian accent but like a New York Italian accent! I headcanon he’s mixed race :]
-I also headcanon barb mixed race! Japanese-Chinese
-mammon is trans <3 and also has a little belly fat that slightly hangs over his pants (happy trail too)
- barbatos love jewelry and keeps a huge collection of jewelry in his room near his bed and gets really upset if someone touches it
-Lucifer takes his brothers to the doctors/dentist or whatever because he did that when they were young and refuses to let them grow up and do it themselves that’s like his one thing that he loves doing with them even if he acts like he hates it
- NOW THIS ONE IS SO SELF- INDULGENT BUT barbatos is adopted <3 I have no proof or evidence just believe me guys he told me himself
- beel cuts his own hair and offers to cut belphies too and belphie always says yes because he refuses to leave the house to have someone else do it
-Satan gave mammon a stick and poke tattoo because Satan was reading about it online and mammon said he wanted one,,, the result was,,,, uh. Not great but mammon still shows it off because he loves his brother
- beel pierced his own ears. They got infected.
I’ll make more later!!!
I’ll probably make more later <3
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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Eh... Ah... Eh... Um... Eh... Err... Eh... Eh... Eh... Eh... Eh... Eh... Eh... Eh... Ehhhhh... Ehhhhhhhh... Ehhh... Ehhhhhhhhhh... Ehhhhh... Ehh... Ehhhhhhhh...
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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I'm not sure if you got my first ask or not (bc tumblr been eating them) but thank you so much for your tags and for being so kind! I super appreciate it! -RueWrites
EEEEE I DID AND IM ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT I WAS SIMPLY HOARDING IT LIKE MY OWN LITTLE GEM! I forget well don’t forget but it kinda doesn’t sink in that people see my tags and so they’re more of a ramble of how something makes me feel yknow? I like reblogging stuff that I want to be able to find over and over and that means a lot? Or that I really enjoy? So getting a nice little message was like when you buy something online and it comes with a little notecard and a little Lollypop or smth and it just makes your day yknow??
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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spy barb in white leather
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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Barbatos: Out of all of us here, I’m the most ideal husband.
The brothers: …
Diavolo: …
Simeon: …
Luke: …
Solomon: …
Michael: *raises an eyebrow* And why?
Barbatos: I can cook. I can clean. I have manners. I am a switch. I’m sexy. I can visit timelines. And MC is drooling whenever I pass by.
MC: *guilty* 
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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bestie can we get some solodeus angst
The Next Step
AO3
WBT
Ship: Solomon/Asmo
Word Count: 3087
Warnings: None
A/N: Hey Anon! So I struggled with this request for a bit. So I decided to write a little oneshot for WBT. I hope you like it and I hope this may be what you had in mind for some angst (with a happy ending)!
“So do you wanna do something this week? We could go check out that movie  we thought might be bad. Frankenzilla’s Aquatic Monstrocity Two?” he tried to make his voice sound as tempting as possible. The semester was coming to a close  and Asmo missed his boyfriend. It felt like he hadn’t seen him outside of the one class they had together and even then their only greeting was a quick kiss before running to the next place. 
Sure they had coffee trips still, but both of them were too exhausted to usually say much and then classes interrupted any other time they might have. 
Solomon sighed on the other end of the line. The soft tapping of his keyboard reached Asmo on the other end of the line. Was it another application or course work this time? Perhaps he was responding to another email from the staff at one of the schools he applied to. There were many options, and each one twisted a knot in his stomach.
“I can’t tonight. I’m overloaded right now. You know, assignments destined to kill me and all. If not the assignments, the applications.” Despite the chuckle tinting his voice, Asmo could hear how tired Solomon was.  He could practically picture the piles of empty or lukewarm coffee cups surrounding him. It was a familiar sight, and one that Asmo would often see when trying to coax him to bed to relax and get some sleep. That was another thing Asmo had been missing: cuddling. The way Solomon’s arms would wrap around his waist, or when Asmo would commandeer Solomon’s chest as his own personal pillow. 
Quality time was something Asmo desperately needed, especially before the next step came… And graduation was rapidly approaching.
“Well, we don’t have to see the movie!” Asmo’s voice was coming out quickly, and he hated it.
“Asmo-”
“We can go walk in the park-”
“I really ca-”
“Or we could go to our favorite cafe! The one off campus. Would it be-”
“Asmodeus.” 
Asmo’s words died on his tongue. Solomon snapped at him. Solomon never snapped at him. Not once in the entire year they’d been together as a couple. When they were younger maybe, but not in their more recent history. It made Asmo sick to his stomach.
 A small whimper left his throat and his fingers gripped his phone a little tighter. 
“Fuck,” Asmo swore he heard Solomon slump back onto the couch, “Asmo, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Asmodeus I-”
“It’s fine,” Asmo was fighting back tears, “It’s fine really-”
“No. No it’s not I shouldn’t talk to you like that, sleep deprived or not. I know you Asmodeus, I know it’s not just fine,” Solomon finally let exhaustion overtake him, his voice was dripping with it, “And I really am sorry, I can’t hang out right now. I want to, I really really do. Honest.”
“It’s fine,” the words came out softer this time before silence stretched over the line. 
Solomon was the first one to break it, “I love you and I miss you.”
“I love you too.” Asmo was just barely keeping himself together, and he had no doubt that Solomon knew this. Solomon knew him too well.
“I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can. I promise. I love you, so very much Asmodeus. Goodnight, I’ll see you in class tomorrow if I’m still alive.”
Asmo didn’t even crack a smile at Solomon’s attempt at a joke when he heard the familiar click signaling the end of their call.
They were seniors. They didn’t have much left. What was the next step?
At the news that Mammon could pull some strings to get Asmo some sort of job in the fashion world, he’d been elated. He’d talked about it days upon days on ends with Solomon, and Solomon had been so happy for him. Meanwhile Solomon had been pacing back and forth, waiting for some sort of response from a master’s program. He’d said he’d be happy getting into any school, lucky even, but Asmo knew him. Solomon had his favorite, his ambitious Solomon aimed for the stars and Asmo had no doubt in his mind that he’d end up right where he wanted to be.
But that scared him.
It made him feel terrible. He should be supportive of and happy for Solomon, yet something was holding him back. At this rate, they would only have the summer together, and that wasn’t enough time. The summer would fly by before Asmo knew it and then he’d maybe have to help Solomon move into some fancy dorm somewhere far away from him and his love. 
At one point he’d been excited about the next step in his life, but now graduation just seemed like a looming storm overhead.
His mind was wandering and he couldn’t stop it.
He’d had breakups over less. Expecting Solomon to stay with him after they graduated was selfish, and yet he dared to hope for it. The best he could hope for was that Solomon asked for a break. Was it any better? No. But at least Asmo would have the illusion of hope. People broke up with Asmo over him deciding to dress down or for being too clingy. Then again, he knew he’d dated shallow people in the past and Solomon wasn’t shallow.
But it was still selfish for him to want what he did.
But a part of him didn’t care.
Asmo wasn’t stupid. He knew Solomon was the best he’d ever had. He was attentive, remembered when Asmo said little things, made him feel good in more ways than one, and was nothing short of wonderful. There was no way Asmo was going to let himself lose him and yet-
“He’s going to break up with me.”
“You don’t know that.”
One of the cats of the cafe rubbed against his side. Perhaps she could feel his sorrow. Asmo had just finished sobbing in his room before texting Satan. His pillow had become completely damp with tears and his eyes were red and puffy and looked as if they were made out of glass. Satan could keep his thoughts level and talk Asmo out of whatever negativity currently plagued his thoughts.
“But he hasn’t been spending time with me! Our normal hang out times have been completely run over!” Asmo sniffled, half-heartedly bringing his tea closer to his lips, “This is how breaking up normally starts.”
Satan shook his head, “You really think he went to all that work to get with you only to break up with you? Didn’t he get a tattoo to represent your relationship or something like that when the two of you had barely been dating for a month?”
“Three months. He wanted to get it a month in, but it took me three months to the day of our anniversary to finish the sketch.” Asmo’s fingertips lightly traced the rim of the cup, eyes fixed on his reflection inside. He’d wanted that tattoo to be perfect. So many scrapped ideas had flown around in his head before he was finally happy with one, that and he’d been nervous about Solomon getting a tattoo dedicated to them. They’d gone to every appointment together. Asmo said he wanted to make sure the art was good, what he meant was that he wanted to make sure Solomon didn’t change his mind. 
Had it really all been for nothing?
Suddenly his phone buzzed.
💖Honey Dearest💖: Hey
💖Honey Dearest💖: Look I feel really bad
💖Honey Dearest💖: And I’m very sorry
💖Honey Dearest💖: Incredibly sorry
💖Honey Dearest💖: You deserve so much Asmo, and my time for you has been taken up by other things
💖Honey Dearest💖: But I’ll have free time this weekend and I can make reservations for us
💖Honey Dearest💖: I need to talk to you about something
💖Honey Dearest💖: Something that’s been on my mind
Asmo’s heart stopped. With shaking hands he shot up, startling the poor kitty next to him. He shoved his phone into Satan’s face, “See? See??? He wants to talk so he can let me down easy! Oh I’m going to lose him!”
“Asmo hush. You’re startling the cats,” Satan’s brow furrowed as he looked over the text messages, “He’s not saying anything about breaking up with you. It actually seems like he’s putting effort in to see you.”
“You don’t know that! I’ve been here before. I know this isn’t good I- I-”
Oh he was the definition of a mess right now.
“And you don’t know that he’s going to break up with you. You’re not the only one who’s  dated people Asmo,” Satan pushed the phone back into his hands and went to pick the forgotten, luckily unspilled, cup up. “Send him a text and at least hear him out. I think you're reading too much into this.” 
Asmo had drowned Satan out. He vaguely saw him go behind the counter to start remaking his drink again, but other than that Asmo didn’t process a thing. 
Keeping Solomon was his main goal. He needed to figure out how to convince him that they were good for each other, that they could make this work. If he did leave him, Asmo knew that was it. He knew Solomon was the best he could get, and he wasn’t about to lose his chance at a happy future.
After texting Solomon an agreement to the meetup and deciding on a place, the rest of Asmo’s days leading up to the weekend were consumed with worry. In the end he’d made a list of reasons as to why they should stay together and how they could make everything work. If he was being honest with himself, he knew this list was more for him. He wanted to remember his reasons for when the time came. The last thing he wanted was to be left blubbering in public.
He’d made himself up nice. If Solomon was planning to break up with him, he wanted to assure he looked fine as hell and make him second guess the decision. It’d been a while since he’d done himself up this well, maybe he should do it more often. He used to do this all the time with partners because he wanted to make sure they loved him. But Solomon had loved him so matter what. He loved looking at Asmo first thing in the morning before he did himself up and when he was still in one of Solomon’s shirts. 
Asmo had never felt this comfortable in a relationship before. He’d never felt so safe before.
He was going to miss that so much…
The feeling of being safe.
Being wanted.
Being adored.
Despite his worries, the whistle that left Solomon’s lips sent a blush to his cheeks. 
“You really look nice.”
Solomon’s hair was slicked back the way Asmo liked it. Why did he also have to put effort into his appearance? Asmo felt even more anxious now, looking at him in the doorway. Solomon was the only one who’d ever made his heart flip like this. It had been impossible to calm himself all the way over  to the restaurant.
Solomon had always been good at picking up when something was off, and Asmo had to wonder what he was thinking. Then again, even though Asmo was being uncharacteristically quiet, Solomon seemed uncharacteristically chatting. Asmo knew he could get that way about things he enjoyed, but this wasn’t one of those moments. Instead Solomon was tripping over his words as he discussed… nothing really. The sinking feeling in his stomach continued as they took their food and left once again to a little secluded place in the park. Solomon has suggested it, he mentioned that it might be best if they could be alone for a bit.
It didn’t make Asmo feel better.
Eating didn’t really seem possible. Instead, Asmo was pushing the food around inside his box. He’d take a bite eventually, as soon as he was sure it’d go down alright. 
“I heard back from the program I applied too,” Solomon started, “I got in.”
“Oh? I’m so happy for you! Solomon that’s wonderful!” Asmo hoped his cheeriness didn’t sound forced.
Are you going to leave? 
“Yeah! It’s a huge relief. One less thing I have to worry about.” Solomon went silent now. The inches between them felt like miles to Asmo. He should feel happier for his boyfriend’s dreams were coming true, he knew Solomon had wanted this program more than anything. Why couldn’t he be happy for him?
The soft shutting of Solomon’s to go box brought Asmo’s attention back. Their shoulders brushed and Solomon kept the contact.
“I’m happy I can have this with you,” he murmured, “I know I haven’t been around much this half of the semester, and I do mean it when I say I’m sorry about that. You deserve only good things Asmodeus. You do.”
Asmo stiffened.
“The past year has been nothing but amazing, you’ve been nothing but amazing.”
He was tripping over his words. He’d heard this phrasing before.
“I mean every moment I’ve known you has been a pleasure, but having you close like this, it’s been… wonderful.”
Now. He should say it now. Say how he’d give up an easy in to his dream and follow Solomon wherever he went if it meant they could stay together. The past year had been a dream and Asmo wasn’t ready to wake up and let go yet. He’d go to the ends of the world for Solomon, he’d give up his life for him. The future seemed so blank without Solomon, and Asmo was scared to enter it without him.
“So, what do you say Asmodeus Morningstar? Do you want to take the next step together?” 
Wait.
What?
“Do you want to take the next step together? With me?”
Asmo hadn’t realized his eyes were closed. Kneeling in front of him, with the most gorgeous ring Asmo had ever seen, was Solomon. He looked so hopeful yet nervous. There was only one thing Asmo knew, and that was that he wasn’t a pretty crier.
Through blurry eyes he watched as panic overtook his boyfriend as he scrambled to stand up, “Hey hey hey. It’s okay.  We don’t have to-”
Asmo wanted to say something more, wanted to say something profound and loving to Solomon. Instead what came out was unintelligible blubbering for his boyfriend to decipher.
“What do I mean by that?” Solomon asked, “Well I don’t want to force you to marry me. I just thought it would be nice to ask before graduation, and I know I haven’t been able to see you and-”
As Asmo wiped the tears from his eyes, Solomon took in a breath and slowly let it out, “I love you, and even if I couldn’t see you I’ve had a lot of time to think about this.”
Asmo wrapped his arms around Solomon’s neck as he sniffled, and for the first time since their last talk on the phone he found himself smiling. This isn’t what he thought their proposal would look like at all. “I’d like to get married.”
“You would?”
“Yes,” looking into Solomon’s eyes and Asmo almost choked on his words again, “Yes.”
Kissing Solomon had always been a heavenly experience, but Asmo couldn’t help but laugh as his fiance left his lips to cover every inch of his skin in love. Asmo also didn’t miss the way his hands shook when he put that ring on his finger. 
After all of his anxieties, this was definitely a breath of fresh air.
Although, he wouldn’t be telling Satan about how right he’d been.
***
“You suuuuure we can’t get a house?”
“Asmo we won’t be living there forever, we can rent out an apartment and then go house shopping.”
“Mmh, I still like the idea of having a house.”
Asmo sat in between his fiance’s legs, Solomon’s chin resting on his shoulder as the two of them looked over their options. There were a few nice places between Solomon’s grad school and where Asmo would have to drive for his new employer. He’d made sure Mammon knew where the school was so he had a radius to look at. Luckily, Mammon seemed to know a guy. 
This whole situation had been lucky. Asmo wanted to follow Solomon so badly, talking on the phone or video chatting simply just wouldn’t be enough! Solomon’s only condition had been if Asmo could also pursue his dreams as well. No way was he going to let him  not take an opportunity if something was offered to him! 
But it worked out, it always did. It always would one way or another.
“One day we’ll get a nice house, make it all our own,” Solomon mouthed against his neck, “As soon as we get married.”
Giggles let Asmo’s mouth as Solomon’s mouthing turned into tiny butterfly kisses, “I’d like that. But now that you mention it, we never got to celebrate our engagement did we?” 
Solomon paused and looked up at Asmo with a quirked brow. “Celebrate?” his arms tightened around Asmo’s waist, “What did you have in mind?”
Oh Asmo loved that wicked smirk.
“I wanna ceeelebraaate,” he giggled, leaning further into Solomon’s chest.
“I heard you, but that doesn’t tell me what you want.”
Asmo was about to go further when Simeon cleared his throat. He stared at the couple from the archway leading to the kitchen, “Mindful. Someone will be arriving home soon. Don’t make me banish you from the living room.”
“Ah, sorry Simeon, don’t worry, we’ll be mindful.”
“You better, I already have to think about looking for a new roommate because of  you.”
The tone between them was playful, they’d become relatively good friends since Solomon started living there from what Asmo could see. 
“I’m sure I could help,” Asmo chirped, “Maybe one of my brothers or someone else we know might be interested.”
“Thank you Asmodeus, I appreciate that. Now behave, both of you.”
When Simeon disappeared, Solomon leaned close to Asmo’s ear, “We’ll celebrate as soon as we move into the new apartment.”
“Oooh I like that! I guess that means we should pick one out then yes?”
“Oh my smart fiance is very incredibly right.”
Solomon leaned in for a kiss and Asmo gladly obliged. 
While the future was still uncertain to a point, they had each other, and they’d be taking their next steps together.
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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one of the first drawings i did of them and i hated it so much i never posted it lmao. now that time has passed i dont remember what mistakes i made in it so im cool with showing it haha
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thirdhandidiot · 3 years
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HHHH thank thank thank!!
Last Song: Cartes Postales by Yves Montand
Last movie: Dead Apple (Bungo Stray Dogs)
Currently watching: Way of the Househusband (im blatantly pirating it)
Currently reading: The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Currently craving: To go back to bed (Or egg fried rice from the restaurant near where I grew up.. the Lady there was so nice and helped me with a school project, but I’ve never been able to recreate the food)
rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better!
thank you grace @master0fthewicket for the tag!!
last song: heart shaped box - nirvana
last movie: i just watched twitches lol
currently watching: i am watching lucifer as i type this but also parks and rec when i want to avoid doing my essays
currently reading: ………
currently craving: sunshine and warmth! i’m sick of the cold and snow! this time next year i’ll be in orlando but why can’t i be that warm now!
no pressure tags @voluntaryvictim @mx-sinisterr @mxchinescrew @saint-frerardus @setting-in-a-honeymoon @gui1ttripping +anyone else but only if u want to!!
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