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evak-fic-rec-turtleanon · 3 years

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Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later.

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics. .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown.

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else.

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left.

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time.

******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark.

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak.

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying.

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan.

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to.

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU.

******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael.

******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

#evak fic rec #skam fic rec #pining #mutual pining #first half of the list #to be updated

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atlafan · 3 years

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Wrecked - One Shot

a/n: this is slightly inspired by the wilds because I watched that recently, but it’s in no way as messed up or sad. psychologist/therapist!Harry is detective Nikki Reese’s ex’s best friend. They end up on the same cruise, and the two end up going overboard due to a freak hurricane. What happens while they’re stranded? Well, you’ll have to read to find out! Feedback and reblogs are super helpful! I really want to know what you all think of this one!!! (not proofread) You can support me here if you’re able!

Warnings: a lot of angst, a little fluff, and some smut. TW: trauma/dealing with trauma (Nikki is an SVU detective, so some things of that nature are brought up, but not in graphic detail)

Words: 14K

Pairing: Harry x OC

It was supposed to be a cruise, a ten-day cruise around the Caribbean to help clear her head. Well, it was originally an engagement present to herself and her ex, but since they were now broken up, it was to help clear her head. Nikki never would have thought she would end up in this situation, and especially not with someone she hated just as much as her ex…his best friend. As she lays under the stars for yet another night, she can’t help but think back to how she got herself into this mess in the first place.

She was packed and ready to go, excited even. Nikki had never gone on a cruise before, and she was looking forward to meeting some new people. She was never one to be nervous to go to things alone, she knew how to take care of herself and keep herself safe. She had grown up as the mom friend, so her purse was always stalked with essentials. She had one of those ones that was like a little backpack.

Nikki got to the docks a little later than she was hoping, but there was nothing she could do about getting stuck in traffic. She gets out of her cab in her white sundress, large sunhat, and sunglasses, and rolls her suitcase up the pathway to the boat. There was a bit of a line, but she didn’t mind. For the next ten days, she had all the time in the world.

There was a large area for her to check in at, and get her room key. She was surprised she wouldn’t be able to do it over her phone, but she knew that once they set sail the WIFI may not be as strong in certain places. She brought a spare lanyard to stick it on and everything.

“Hello, Miss.” The woman at the table smiles.

“Hello, I’m Nicole Reese.” Nikki smile.

The woman nods and looks her up in the system. She takes out two room keys and hands them to Nikki, along with a couple of pamphlets that were full of activity options, and where the boat would be stopping.

“Here you are, Miss Reese. We hope you enjoy your stay with us. It’s going to be an excellent cruise. Your other party has already checked in.”

“My who?” Nikki’s heart stops.

“There’s two of you signed up for this suite. A nice gentleman checked in about twenty minutes ago.” She taps a few times on the keyboard. “A Mr. Harry Styles.” The woman smiles. “Has there been a mix up?”

“Nope.” Nikki swallows. “Everything’s fine.”

Nikki quickly makes her way to her room. The ship was pretty easy to navigate. She was enraged. Had Kyle sent Harry in his place? Why the fuck was Harry even there? Did he suddenly acquire time off from work? She scans her key card, and enters the suite.

“Jesus, fuck!” Harry shouts. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?! What are you doing here?!”

“Kyle sold me his ticket…he…he didn’t think you’d still go.” His face falls. “Why did you?”

“Because I paid for my own fucking ticket, and I wasn’t going to let him ruin my trip! I planned the god damn thing, I should get to enjoy it. You need to leave before the ship does.”

“Sorry, I paid to be here too, I’m staying.”

“Don’t be a prick, Harry.”

“M’not trying to be. I got the time off last minute, I need a vacation just like anyone else.”

“And you came here alone?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs. “Thought it would be nice to meet some new people…apparently you thought the same. Unless…oh no, did Alex come with you?” He groans.

“No, she’s not with me.” Nikki rolls her eyes. She knew it was useless to argue with Harry. “That couch should be a pullout, you can sleep on it.”

“But I’ve already started to unpack in the bedroom…you know I have a bad back, Nikki, come on.” He follows her into the bedroom. “It’s a king sixed bed, we can just share. I’ll even make a pillow divider if that makes you more comfortable.”

“I am not sharing a bed with my ex fiance’s best friend!” She looks around. “It’s bad enough we have to share a fucking bathroom.”

“Look, if I thought this boat would have any extra room, I’d go ask for one, but the woman at the desk said it was a fully booked cruise.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I know this isn’t an ideal situation…but think of this way, it’s nice to know at least one person here, right?”

“Wrong.” She shakes her head. “I came here so I could have some time to just not be reminded of Kyle for one fucking second! Now with you here…I’m gonna be reminded of him every single fucking day.” She blinks away a few tears. “You probably think I’m being stupid since it’s been three whole months since we ended things, but-“

“I don’t think it’s stupid…you two were together for three years, that’s a long time to be with someone.”

Nikki nods, and then sighs heavily.

“I think they’re going to make the safety announcements soon. Uh, let’s back out to the main deck, yeah? We can figure all of the sleeping arrangements out later.”

“Fine.”

The two silently head up to the main deck and listen to all of the announcements on how to stay safe, and other things they might need to know. There were a lot of passengers all around them. Nikki was hoping to have some type o rebound while on this trip. How the fuck was she supposed to bring someone back to her room with Harry there? Maybe he was thinking the same thing. His cruise could have easily just been ruined like hers.

“Have you told him I’m here?” She asks him as they move towards the railing to watch the boat take off.

“No.” Harry says. “My phone’s on airplane mode, I’m trying to unplug while I’m here. It’s really none of his business, Nikki.”

“That, or you just don’t want him asking questions.” She scoffs.

“Either way, I haven’t told him, and I’m not going to, okay? You can relax.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because the suite I thought I was going to have to myself has been infiltrated by a six foot, curly headed, no good moron!”

“Hey! I’m not the one who cheated on you, okay?! Don’t take it out on me. Maybe you should have been a better partner to him and he wouldn’t have felt the need to stray.”

“Fuck you, Harry.” Nikki huffs, and walks away from him.

He knew he shouldn’t have said that, but she shouldn’t have called him a moron. That was the problem with Nikki, she thought she was smarter than everyone else, but you don’t get to become an SVU detective by being stupid. It wasn’t her fault that her work was a 24-hour job. She was lucky she even had the time off for this. All activities on the boat were all inclusive, and she wasn’t going to waste it. When she gets back to the room, she starts to unpack so she can freshen up. Harry comes in shortly after. She was just getting out of the bathroom.

“Nikki, look, I-“

“The pillow divider should be fine…I’d feel bad if you hurt your back.”

“Are you serious?”

“We’re both adults, think we can share a bed without it getting weird. You were right before…it’s good to know at least one other person.”

“Nikki, I’m sorry about what I said before.”

“Don’t be. You were absolutely right. I drove him to it.”

She knew how to play the game and keep the peace with someone. It would be easier to play nice with Harry so she could enjoy her trip than it would be to fight with him the entire time. And he was right about one thing, he wasn’t the one she was truly mad at. A little resentful maybe, but she wasn’t mad at Harry.

“Do you…wanna head down to the bar?” He asks her.

“Yeah.” She smiles. “That sounds good.”

Nikki doesn’t stay with Harry for long. She finds herself talking to a cute guy that was seated next to her. Harry didn’t mind because he was talking to some other folks as well. Nikki has dinner with the cute guy, and eventually goes back to his room with him. She has her fun and goes back to her own room. Harry was there, just getting out of the shower, his towel hanging low on her hips.

“Hi.” Nikki says, blushing. “Are you done in there?”

“Yeah, it’s all yours.”

��I…I talk in my sleep sometimes…and sometimes I…punch.”

“Punch?”

“Yeah, I have, like, bad dreams because of work.”

“Oh…well, thanks for the warning. I’m sorry that happens to you.”

“I’ve learned to live with it.” She grabs something to wear to bed before going into the bathroom. She takes a shower, and then comes out. She smirks when she sees the pillows in the middle of the bed. “Thanks.”

“It’s the least I could do since I ruined your vacation.”

“You didn’t know I was coming.” She gets into the bed and turns the light off. “Just like how I didn’t know you were coming. I had a bad reaction before.” She sighs as she gets comfortable. “Nice bed.”

“Yeah, better than a hotel. Well…goodnight, Nik.”

“Night, Har.”

Harry was rustled awake around four in the morning. He looks over his shoulder and sees Nikki thrashing around. He sits up immediately and moves the pillows out of the way. She was drenched in sweat, so he rips the blankets back. She was gritting her teeth and kicking her legs.

“Nikki!” Harry grabs her shoulders to try to wake her up. “Nicole!” He straddles her hips to try to still her body. She was really strong. Her eyes burst open and she gasps for breath.

“What are you doing?!”

“You were having a bad dream!” He strokes her cheek, and moves her matted hair away from her face. Her breathing calms eventually and he gets off of her. “Do you want me to get you some water?”

“Please.” She sits up. Harry jumps out of bed and goes to fill up a glass. He comes back quickly and hands it to her, sitting on her side of the bed. She takes slow sips. “Thanks.”

“That looked pretty scary…do you remember what your dream was about?”

“Um, yeah, but I don’t want to scare you. I can’t really talk about cases.”

“If you need someone to talk to, I don’t-“

“It’s fine, Harry.” She snaps.

“Is…is this why you and Kyle never moved in together? Because you get these night terrors?”

“That…among other things. I don’t want to talk about him right now. I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Don’t be.” He puts his hand on her leg, giving her a squeeze. “Why don’t I put the TV on, hm? We can just relax for a bit, and-“

“Harry, fuck, I don’t need you to be my shrink!”

“I’m not trying to be! Jesus, you cops all think seeing a therapist makes you weak, but it’s actually the strongest fucking thing you can do.” He huffs. “I’m turning the TV on so I can get back to sleep. I need the white noise.”

He grabs the remote off the dresser and turns the TV on. He flips around the stations until he finds MTV.

“MTV?” Nikki asks.

“They show music videos early in the morning. It’s what the whole fucking station was created for in the first place.” He puts the volume on low, and gets back into bed. Neither of them bother putting the pillow barriers back.

“You don’t understand the stigma. If we see psychologists…they think we can’t do our jobs properly.”

“So you just suffer in silence? Must be fucking terrifying to have nightmares so often.”

“It’s my problem, not yours.”

“But it doesn’t have to be a problem, there are a lot of things you can do to-“

“Harry, please just drop it.” She turns away from him, sinking back into the mattress, and pulling the blankets back onto herself. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Whatever.”

They barely speak for the next couple of days, which sucks because the first couple of days are just spent on the boat until they reach the Caribbean islands. Their first stop would be in Florida, and Nikki couldn’t wait to get off the boat and explore where they were getting off at.

“Hey, uh…do you think we could grab breakfast together this morning?” Harry asks her just as she was packing her bag for the day.

“Sure.” She sighs.

He nods, gets his own backpack together, and they head to the breakfast buffet. They both had started to make other friends, but Harry thought it might be nice to explore the Florida coast with her. Luckily, Nikki hadn’t had any more night terrors since that first night. Her head was really starting to feel clearer. They’re quiet at the table they choose to sit at. Harry sighs heavily as he sips his orange juice. He notices Nikki stuffing a few apples into her bag.

“What are you doing?” He asks her.

“We’re going to be out all day today, I wanted to make sure I had snacks.”

“You need three apples?”

“For someone else…if they need one.” She mutters. “I just like being prepared, I can’t help it.”

“Well, I suppose if I get hungry later, I’ll be thankful.”

“Oh, are we wandering around together today?” She raises her eyebrows, and takes a bite of her bagel.

“I was hoping so. I don’t like that we’ve barely spoken these last couple of days. We’re friends, Nikki, why can’t we act like it?”

“I stopped being friends with you the day I found out Kyle was fucking cheating on me.” She stands up and storms off. Harry groans, but follows her. It had gotten increasingly windy out, normal stormy morning in Florida. Although, it had started to drizzle. “Stop following me, Harry!”

“No!” He grabs her wrist. They were outside on one of the lower decks. Not many people were outside due to the weather. “I didn’t know, okay?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t know Kyle was cheating on you!”

“How could you not have known, you’re his fucking roommate! And apparently, it was going on for over six months!”

“He never brought her home! Any girl that he brought over was you, and any time he was gone for the night I just assumed he was with you…if I had known…” He steps closer to her. “I would have confronted him, and told him to cut it out. I would never condone something like that.”

“But you’re still friends with him! You just sat in your room while we were fighting!”

“I’ve been friends with him since uni! I was confused, I thought it’d be better to be on his side and keep the peace. I yelled at him afterwards. I told him he was an asshole for proposing to you while having someone else on the side. And I don’t live with him anymore, alright? I moved out a month ago, got my own place. We’re still friends, yeah, but I…I couldn’t look at him every day knowing what he did to you.” He puts his hand on her shoulder. “I always liked you, Nikki. From the second he started bringing you around, I thought he hit the jack pot, and he fucked it up.”

“He told me I drove him to it. That I wasn’t around enough, that I wasn’t giving him what he needed, but he didn’t feel like he could break it off because we already invested so much time. The fact that it was with his co-worker, someone I never even really trusted.” Nikki scoffs. “I’m glad we weren’t living together, sort of made things easier.” She looks down. “I can’t help that my job keeps me busy, and that I’m not always up to fucking my boyfriend after dealing with a sexual assault case.” She looks back up at him.

“I get it.” He sighs, and grips the railing. “Somedays I come home after a rough session with a patient…like, you know when it’s so bad that when you drive home in silence and go the speed limit?” She nods at him. “It sucks sometimes…being someone that makes other people’s lives easier.”

“Right, because telling a worried mother that her child was found dead and buried in the woods totally makes things easier.” She rolls her eyes.

“That mother gets closure at least. She knows where her kid was and what happened. It helps with the grieving process.” He looks at her again. “You know I work with a lot of victims and survivors, right? I’m not out prescribing anti-depressants to a bunch of rich fucks.”

“I guess I forgot about that.” She furrows her brows at him. “You really didn’t know he was cheating on me?”

“Nikki, I swear, I had no idea.”

Just as she was about to say something else, the wind had picked up. Everything happened really fast from there. Sirens had started to go off, a hurricane was whipping up the coast. It wasn’t supposed to, it was supposed to travel out east, but it didn’t. Harry and Nikki had grabbed onto one another, but it wasn’t enough to stay grounded. They both got flipped over the side of the boat. Nikki had just grabbed at one of the life boats that was attached to the side in time. She pulled the tag, it inflated, and they landed in the water. They were dragged under at first, trying desperately to hang onto the raft. Nikki wasn’t sure how much longer she could hang on for, though. Everything around her started to fade. All she could see was her hand grasping around the rope of the raft before everything black.

Nikki’s eyes fluttered open when she felt water splashing on her face. She sits up slowly when she realizes she was drifting along the shoreline. She stands up and tries to figure out her surroundings. She remembered the storm, but she could have been blown all the way to Cuba. She looks to her left and sees the orange raft. Her backpack was next to it, thank god. She stands up slowly and goes over to the raft to flip it over. She steps back when she sees Harry laying there.

“Fuck.” She breathes and kneels down next to him. She almost forgot he was swept away with her. She checks his pulse first, he’s alive. She starts performing CPR, just the chest compressions. Before long he’s coughing up water. “Oh, thank god.”

“What…what happened?” He sits up slowly.

“We got…blown off the boat, I think. There was a big storm that wasn’t properly forecasted. I wonder if anyone else got thrown off like we did.” She looks around, but doesn’t see anyone else. “I have no idea where we are.” She opens her backpack. Everything was wet, but still useful. “My phone’s fully charges and working.”

“How?”

“I have one of those waterproof cases.” She squints at it, raising it up. “No signal.” She digs through her bag and finds a small baggie.

“What’s that?”

“Personal hot spot.” She turns it on and connects her phone. “The signal’s weak, but it’s there.” She stands up and starts walking around. “Map app won’t work.” She groans. “Fuck, I just wanna know where we are!”

“Try calling the ship director, I bet they’re taking attendance for safety measures.”

“Do you happen to know what that number is?”

“No.”

“Well, neither do I. Let me call my partner. The WIFI calling should work.” She taps the number and puts the phone on speaker.

“Aren’t you supposed to be on vacation?”

“Dan! Thank god you answered.”

“Woah, Reese, what’s wrong?”

“There was a freak storm down in Florida…I got thrown off the boat. I just woke up ashore somewhere, but I have no idea where…could be an island off the coast, or we could be in another part of Florida.”

“Can you try sending me your location?”

“The map app won’t work…”

“But you might be able to send your location over iMessage. Are you alone?”

“No…a man named Harry Styles got thrown over with me. He’s a friend of Kyle’s.”

“Gross.”

“There are worse people to be stranded with.” She smirks at Harry.

“Are either of you hurt?”

“I’m a little achy, but nothing’s sprained or broken. Harry, are you alright?”

“Yeah, m’fine.” He says as he stands up.

“Alright, I’ve got your location…shit.”

“Dan.” She sighs. “Where the fuck are we?”

“Cuba.”

“How the fuck did we end up in Cuba?!” She shouts. “The ferry here would be an overnight trip for fuck sake.”

“Don’t know. I’m looking into it now and it looks like a pretty powerful hurricane swept you guys away. It’s like it chewed you up and spit you out. You’re lucky to be alive. I have the name of the cruise ship, since you left me the contact info, I’ll alert them right away. I’m sure they’re taking stock of who might be missing. I’ll have to get special clearance to get you out of there. It could take a few days. Do you have any supplies?”

“Yeah, I’ve got my mini water purifier, and a couple of bottles, some fruit and granola bars…basic essentials.”

“Okay, stay where you are, try to make a shelter in case more rain comes. Don’t use your phone at all unless I call you. I don’t want your battery running out. I’ll get you out of there, Nik.”

“Thank you, Dan. You’re amazing.”

“I’m sorry your vacation got ruined. I’m sure Captain will give you an extended leave.”

“I’m not worried about that right now. It’ll be dark in a few hours and we need to get to building a shelter like you said. Keep me updated.”

“Will do, stay safe.”

Nikki hangs up the phone and looks around.

“What are you looking for?”

“Drift wood. We can use some and the raft to make a little shelter to huddle under. We also need to make a fire to stay warm. If we’re going to be out here for a few days, we need to think smart.”

“What if there are wild animals running around, or-“

“Harry.” She puts her hands on his shoulders. “I know this is really scary, but you can’t freak out, okay? Did you ever read Hatchet growing up?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Okay, so, that little boy got stranded in a fucking forest in Canada…in winter! We’re at least on a warm beach. We can still wash up, and I have a mini water purifier. We’ll be okay. I just need you to not freak out. I’ll need your help.”

“Okay, but after we’re rescued you better let me freak out as much as I want.��

“Deal.” She sighs and goes to her backpack. “Here, put on some sunscreen.” She hands him the sprayable can.

“What are you, the fucking grandmother from Halloween Town? Is that a bottomless bag?” He chuckles as he sprays himself with the lotion.

“No, but I’m a detective that helps people that go missing, so I’ve learned some things along the way. I never leave my house without a stocked bag.”

The two work together to move the raft back so it wasn’t near the water. They’re able to find some wood sturdy enough to prop it up for a small shelter. Next, they work on making a fire. Luckily, Nikki’s lighter was still working. Harry was able to keep things going as she checked their supplies.

“We’ll have to ration a bit. Apples are high in carbs, so they should keep us full enough. I’ve got two bottles of water in here. Once we finish them we can use the purifier. I even have two travel toothbrushes and toothpaste in here.” She smiles. “I have deodorant too, but no soap, sorry. We’ll just have to use the salt water to keep us clean.” She furrows her brows as she keeps looking at everything. “I have granola bars as well. Ugh, thank god I had my period last week. I’d be pissed if I had to deal with that too.” She takes out a couple of tampons. “Besides, these’ll be great fire starters.”

“I guess things could be a lot worse.” He sighs and sits next to her once the fire is good to go. “We’ll probably have to take turns watching it, huh?”

“Most likely.” She starts laughing.

“What could possibly be funny?” He asks.

“Nothing, just…wouldn’t it be hilarious if we were just in some rich family’s backyard?” She looks behind them. “I know we’re not, but it would be funny.”

“Yeah.” He smirks. “Well, now that most of the excitement is over, I’m gonna go take a leak.”

“Hey, if you shit, make sure you dig a hole first and cover it. We don’t need to attract animals.”

“Not that I have to do that right now, but you don’t have toilet paper in there do you?”

“I have a packet of tissues, but they need to dry out a bit. Got pads too, those could work…but I may hog them since I have more areas to wipe than you do.”

“Fair enough. Suppose I could use some leaves if need be. I’ll be right back.” He disappears into a discrete area so he can wee, and then comes back to find her rubbing lotion onto her bare arms and legs.

“I’m really glad I wore shorts today and not a dress.” He sits down next to her. “Don’t worry about your luggage back on the ship, either, Dan will make sure everything will get back to us.” She takes out a gun from her bag.

“Holy shit.” He flinches.

“Relax, it’s a flare gun. I’m saving it to use for when they come for us. No use in using it now. I don’t really feel like getting thrown into a Cuban prison.”

“Yeah, that’s not exactly on my bucket list.” Harry chuckles. “What did you do to the water bottles?”

“Oh, I used a marker to mark off how much we should drink at a time to conserve it.”

“God, if there was ever someone to get stranded with, I’m glad it’s you. You’ve thought of everything.”

“I’ve just been trained well.” She shrugs. “Wish I had some blankets or something. It’s gonna be shit sleeping on the sand.”

“We could lay our clothes out and sleep on those.”

“You know, that’s not a bad idea. We’d create more body heat if we’re almost naked.”

“Oh, so we’re cuddling?” He smirks.

“Not cuddling, surviving.” She corrects him. “We could drag out some of the larger leaves too. Make a pellet of sorts.” She stands up. “Come on, let’s go search for some.”

“Okay.” He watches as she grabs a lipstick out of her bag. “Freshening up?”

“It’s to mark the trees so we don’t get lost.” She deadpans, and he follows her into the unknown territory.

“Four days?!” Nikki shouts into her phone.

“I’m sorry, that was the quickest I could get clearance for a plane to Cuba.”

“But it’s a rescue mission, Dan!”

“Yeah, into a non U.S. territory, Nikki. I spoke with the cruise ship director, you were the only two unaccounted for. Your things are safe. I flew down to Florida today and gathered both of your things. I made sure to get you both a full refund on your tickets. I also contacted the people on your emergency contact lists so they’re informed. It’s going to be okay, you just need to survive on that beach. Can you do that?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Try to get some sleep. I’ll call you in the morning if I get any new information.”

Nikki sighs heavily and lays back under the raft. Her and Harry had made a decent enough pellet with leaves so they could keep their clothes on.

“Four days we’re going to be stuck out here.” She shakes her head. “This is all my fault.”

“What are you talking about?” Harry lays back next to her.

“If I hadn’t stormed off from breakfast, we never would’ve been swept off the ship!”

“Hey,” he turns on his side to look at her better, “don’t do that. Neither of us had any idea a hurricane was coming. At least we know someone’s coming for us. So we’ll feel a little hungry and maybe we’ll get bored. Let’s just pretend we’re on a really remote vacation.” He smiles at her.

“I have to pee.” She stands up and finds a spot to do her business before joining him back on the ground. “Let’s try to get some sleep.” She rolls away from him.

“Didn’t you say we needed to keep each other warm?”

“Yeah…I…prefer to be the little spoon.” She smutters. Harry wraps his arm around her, and gets his leg between hers. “Hold on.” She sits up and takes her bra off under shirt, then she takes her shorts off. “Need something to put under my head…and I can’t sleep with this thing on.”

“Good idea.” Harry peels his shirt off and puts it under his own head. They get back into position. She feels warmer with his bare chest against her back. “Goodnight, Nik.”

“Goodnight, Harry.”

The next morning, Harry wakes up alone. He sits up and gets his shirt back on. He squints towards the water and sees Nikki in her bra and underwear. She was about calf deep rinsing herself. She brushes her teeth and walks back towards their little campsite.

“Morning.” She says as she throws some wood on the fire. “Water’s warm. I was just cleaning off yesterday’s sunscreen.” She grabs the can and sprays her body, rubbing it in on certain spots. “What?” She noticed he was staring at her.

“N-nothing, uh, where’s that other toothbrush?”

“Here.” She tosses it to him, along with the toothpaste.

“Thanks.” He clears his throat and gets up. When he comes back, he sees that she’s put her other clothes back on. “So…how should we handle not dying today?”

“Think we need to treat it as a beach day, but in the shade. I don’t want us getting dehydrated.”

“I can’t sit around for four days, I’ll go bananas.” He sighs. “Can’t we go for a walk?”

“Sure, but we shouldn’t go too far.” She looks at her watch. “This’ll tell me when we hit a mile, how does that sound?”

“Works for me.” He shrugs. The two go for a walk. Nikki puts her phone and hotspot in her back pocket. “What’s your percentage at?”

“Eighty. I put it on airplane mode last night to conserve it. I know it won’t last a full four days, but I’m hoping Dan can get here sooner than that. Special clearance for a fucking rescue mission.” She scoffs. “This is ridiculous! Who’d you put as your emergency contact?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“Harry.”

“It’s Kyle, alright?”

“Wow, so you can barely look at the guy, but you put him down for an emergency contact.”

“I’m British, my family lives in the U.K., he’s the only person close enough to me here that I could put down. Who was yours?”

“Alex.”

“She’s so annoying, I don’t know how you stand to be friends with her.”

“I happen to love her, so it seems like a you problem.”

“She’s never been nice to me.”

“It’s because she likes you and you don’t like her back, and she’s not great with dealing with it.”

“She likes me?!”

“Yeah, she thinks you’re cute.” Nikki shrugs. “Think you were still seeing Tina when I first introduced her to you, and then you broke up and didn’t make a move, she was sort of hurt, but to be fair she didn’t make a move either.”

“She’s pretty, but she’s not my type…sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. Can’t help you like, you know? I still can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall for a lawyer, especially with the business that I’m in.”

“You know, he used to talk about you all the time. He loved how were this strong, independent woman who was just…badass. He saw you as fearless, and he really liked that. We’re both needy guys…I think the busier you got, he just didn’t know what to do with himself. I personally would have tried to talk to you about it and not my colleague, but that’s just me.”

“He’s a brilliant lawyer, but he sure is a fucking moron. Has he…mentioned me at all since we broke up?”

“I know he felt like shit at first, but…th-the woman, Katie, moved in with him when I moved out…I’m sorry.”

“Well, they’ve been together nine months, perfectly acceptable amount of time to be together before moving in. I bet she never has nightmares.” She looks down at her watch. “We should turn around.” They do, and get back to walking towards their things.

“I know you were blindsided, but…I think things happen for a reason. You two weren’t supposed to get married. I…and this is just my inner psychologist speaking, but when I’d observe you two, you just never really seemed all that compatible. Especially as time went on. Your witty banter turned into hushed arguments. I think when two people get too comfortable, they’re too scared to break it off and start all over.”

“I wanted to marry him. He was the love of my life, Harry. And he…he ripped me to shreds. In my profession, it’s pretty male dominated, or there’s a ton of lesbians, which is fine, but…sometimes I don’t always feel like a woman first. Kyle…Kyle always made me feel like a woman first, and a detective second. It made me feel special.”

“Nik…he…he learned how to treat you like that because of me. He was constantly asking me for advice on how to deal with you.”

“How to deal with me?” They get back to their camp. “Didn’t realize I needed to be dealt with.” She huffs.

“See, that’s your problem right there. You’re extremely hot headed! Are you, like, the bad cop at work? Do you get into the suspect’s face, and scream at them?”

“No, I keep my cool at work. No one gives you information when you yell at them.”

“You’re constantly jumping to conclusions, Nikki. You look down on people when they can’t figure things out right away. He wanted to be with you, but he didn’t know how. So I helped him.”

“Right, are you done pointing out my flaws now?” She rolls her eyes.

“I’m not trying to do that. I just think-“

“That’s your problem. You never stop thinking. You never do. You’re a fucking wallflower, Harry. You come off cool with your tattoos and your nail polish and your rings, but underneath it all you’re a shy little boy who never speaks up when he should.”

“And you like to push people away so much that every word you spit stings.”

“I think we should not talk until it’s time to eat later.” She says, looking away from him.

“That’s your best idea yet.” He says, and storms off. She watches him peel his cloths off, stripping to his boxers, and dive into the water.

They share an apple in the midafternoon. She was able to cut it up with her swiss-army knife. They didn’t say anything to each other. Nikki and Harry used to have a decent enough friendship. He would often watch a movie with her and Kyle, or he’d come out to the bar to hang out with their other friends. They got know each other well for the most part. She hated feeling such disdain towards him, but right now he was the only punching bag in sight, and she was abusing him for it. Around three in the afternoon, she comes over to sit with him.

“You should put more sunscreen on your face.” She hands him the can. “I just reapplied.”

“Thanks.” He spritzes it into his hands and works it into his skin. “Look, about before…I’m sorry we keep getting into these heated debates. I truly think you deserve better than Kyle, and it kills me to see you still so hurt and hung up.”

“I’m just…grieving the loss of the last three years still. I’m sorry for flipping out so much.”

“You get a pass while we’re stuck here. It’s not easy to keep your cool while you’re stranded.” He nudges her and she chuckles. “Can we just call a truce for the time being?”

“Yeah, definitely.” She smiles at him. “What do you say we go with that beach vacation idea of yours, and build some sand castles?”

“Oh, that sounds like fun.”

The two get to work on building sand castles, and laughing when they knocked them over afterwards. It was good to exert a little energy so that they could sleep that night. Just like the night before, Harry cuddled Nikki with his bare chest pressed to her covered back. They didn’t get any updates from Dan that day other than an iMessage that things were still a go for a rescue plane to come in a couple of days.

Harry woke up in the middle of the night feeling cold. When he reached for Nikki, she’s not there. He sits up in a panic. He hasn’t really panicked yet since he woke up the other day because she told him to stay calm. Without her, he wasn’t sure how to stay calm in such a stressful situation. Yes, they knew people were coming for them, but it was still their job to survive on this unknown beach. His breathing slows when he sees her laying closer to the fire, staring up at the stars. He gets up, without grabbing his shirt to put back on, and goes to lay next to her.

“Nearly gave me a heart attack.” He says, turning his head in her direction.

“Sorry, I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s alright…just got a little cold is all.” She hums her response without looking at him. “Are you looking at the constellations?”

“Not necessarily.” She sighs. “The only time I’ve ever seen the sky this dark, like, without light pollution, was when I was twenty-one. I got to go to Israel for a birthright trip with my older sister. We camped out in the desert. We all stood in this big circle and preyed and reflected on where we were. I had never seen so many stars.” She turns to look at him now. “I was so overwhelmed that I cried. It was so beautiful.” She looks back up at the night sky. “What you said earlier, about things happening for a reason…I think you’re right. Maybe it wasn’t a cruise that I needed to clear my head…maybe it was getting stranded out here with zero distractions. That’s all the cruise was, a big distraction, but now…being out here…my head’s never been more clear.” She takes a deep breath. “I think I’m done mourning that relationship. The good was good, but the bad was bad…we weren’t right for each other, and I think I’m starting to really see that now. I…I’ll never forgive him for hurting me the way he did, but I want him to be happy, and if that other woman makes him happy and can give him the things that I couldn’t, then, well, good for him.”

“That’s a very adult way of looking at things.” Harry smirks. “It’s amazing what a little unplugging can do for people? A lot of the time I tell my patients to think of a calm, happy place when I have them close their eyes. Nine times out of ten guess what they say their happy place is?”

“Where?”

“The beach. And not at a resort or anything fancy, they just see soft sand, warm water, and a place for them to just sit and breathe for a while. It’s good you were able to come to those conclusions on your own, Nikki.”

“You helped me get there.” She looks at him with a smile. “Guess I respond better to tough love than anything else.”

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many stars either, it’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, it is.” She sighs. Her lips start to quiver, and she sits up.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Harry sits up as well and gently rubs her back as she starts to cry. “You know, other than the fact that we’re stuck on an underdeveloped area of Cuba.”

Nikki chokes out a laugh, and turns to look at him.

“It’s just…I’m so lonely, Harry.” She sniffles as more tears pour from her eyes. “I love my job, and I know I have this tough exterior, but…it’s so fucking hard to meet people in my line of work. I feel like I just latched on to Kyle…and when we ended things I was like what the fuck am I gonna do now, you know?”

“You’ve got Alex…and your partner, Dan…”

“As close as I am with him, I’d never date my partner. Things get too complicated that way. Alex is my best friend, she’s not someone I can be in a relationship with. And I can’t…talk to her about everything. With Kyle, like, he understood where I was coming from sometimes with my cases.”

“You know you can always talk to me. I was sort of…sad that we lost touch when you and Kyle broke up.”

“I hated you by association.”

“Clearly.” He keeps his arm securely around her shoulders. “You and I aren’t so different, Nik. And…sometimes I need someone to talk to too. I listen and help with such heavy shit all day, it’s hard to shake it off and pretend like everything’s normal. I’d like for us to be friends again.”

“I’d like that too.” She wipes her tears and gives him a soft smile. “I’ve missed hanging out with you, you were always so much fun when we’d go grab drinks.”

“Wish we had some booze here. It would certainly take the edge off.”

“Wait!” She stands up. “I think I have a few nips in my bag! I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want us to get dehydrated while we were out in the sun. Hold on.” Nikki quickly goes over to her bag and pulls out two nips, and then goes back over to Harry. “Grapefruit vodka, it’s really good.”

“Anything sounds good right now, honestly.”

They clink the little plastic bottles, open them, and down them. Normally something of this size wouldn’t have an effect on either of them, it was just a double shot. However, with little food over the last couple of days, the alcohol went straight to their heads.

“I don’t know why people hate on grapefruit so much. It’s sweet and it’s got a kick.” Harry says.

“It’s the vodka.” Nikki says. “Vodka makes everything better.”

“Scientifically speaking, it doesn’t. It’s a depressant, and a poison, so technically-“ In an instant Nikki was straddling Harry and putting a hand over his mouth.

“Hey, shrinky-dink, shut up, yeah?” He nods his head yes. “Good.” She gets off of him and sighs as she lays back into the sand.

“Did you ever own shrinky dinks?” He asks, hugging his knees to his chest.

“What?”

“You know, those little plastic things you’d bake in the toaster, and then they’d harden into these little keychain things.”

“Oh my god! I remember the commercials for those! I always it, but my parents never bought stuff off infomercials.”

“We saw it in the store one day. I whined until my mum threw the box in the cart. Even though she was mad at me for behaving poorly, we had a blast making them together.” A few tears come to his eyes. “The first thing I’m gonna do when we get back is call her. She’s probably worried sick.” He wipes under his eyes.

“You know what I’m gonna do?”

“What?”

“Get a Big Mac from McDonald’s.” She looks up at him and they both start laughing. “Yup, gonna stuff my fucking face. Might sue the cruise company too, just to see if I can make a cool million and never have to work another day in my life.”

“Now that’s a brilliant idea. Might have to join in on that. Might just offer us a settlement so we don’t have to go through the whole court process.”

“That would be too easy. They’d say something like, ‘the hurricane was just as much of a surprise to us. We put on sirens’.” She scoffs.

“I think the sirens are the last thing I remember hearing before you woke me up. Can’t believe I only have a few scrapes and bruises.”

“I know, we’re lucky the ropes from the raft didn’t get stuck around our necks.” She sits up.

“Extremely lucky…in all sorts of ways.” He puts his hand overs and gives it a squeeze. “Come on, we should try to get back to sleep. We need to look for more wood tomorrow for the fire.”

“Yeah, alright.” She sighs and they both stand up. They head back over to the shelter and lay down. “Do you think…would it be alright if I just rest my head on your chest?”

“Sure, makes no difference to me.”

She gets comfortable, resting her head on his bare pec, her arm string across his stomach, and a leg over one of his. He puts his arm around her, keeping her close. They don’t say anything else to each other, they both just drift off, succumbing to sleep.

“God, I feel disgusting.” Nikki groans the next morning. “I wish I had a razor in here.” She mutters as she rummages through her bag.

“You’re telling me, I usually like a clean shave because my facial hair grows in all patchy.”

“Actually, a little scruff suits you.” She says without looking at him. “I wouldn’t want you with a full beard, but just a little something looks nice.”

“Nikki.” Harry chuckles. “You don’t want me at all.” Her head whips in his direction and he blushes.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

“N-nothing.” He clears his throat. “Uh, why do you think you need a razor anyways?”

“Because my pit hair is starting to grow out, and when it grows out I sweat more, and if I sweat more I’ll stink more.” She says in a quick breath. “Also, my leg hair is starting to get prickly, and I have sensitive skin so it itches like crazy.”

“You could try rubbing your legs with some of the mud and salt water…that might help.”

“Nah, it’s okay.” She sighs. “Think I’m just gonna go for a swim and clean up that way. You know how I said I was going to get a Big Mac?” Harry nods yes. “That’s now the second thing I’m going to do.”

“What’s the first?”

“Shower, in fact, washing my hair is the first on the list.” She takes out of the elastic and shakes it out. “it’s all greasy, but the salt water’s been good for it, I think.” She peels off her shirt and wiggles out of her shorts before walking down to the water.

Harry hadn’t been able to relieve himself in almost a week, and it was really starting to get to him. It especially wasn’t easy because he was around someone like Nikki. Harry always thought she was beautiful, and he thought Kyle was the luckiest bastard for scooping her up. When he saw her come into the suite that morning, he hid how overjoyed he felt. He hated fighting with her, but he was grateful for any interaction he was having with her. He missed her. In all honesty, his plan was to reach out to her another month or so from now, reconnect, tell her how he felt about her…how he really felt about her. It took him nearly a year to figure out why he liked being her friend so much, and why he was so happy for Kyle. It was because he liked Nikki…as more than a friend. But he wasn’t the type of guy to make a move on his best friend’s girl. He wanted to throttle Kyle. Harry truly had no idea he was treating on Nikki. He would have knocked him off his ass and gotten him to either stop, or just break up with Nikki before anyone had to get hurt.

He decides to get up and join her for a swim. He takes his shorts off and goes down to the water in his boxers. He dives in to submerge his body, it was incredibly refreshing. He stands up so he’s only about calf deep. They both agreed not to go too far in because there could be sharks or other predators.

“Think I’m about done with this underwear.” She says to him. “Might go commando for the rest of the time we’re here.”

“You could walk around naked for all I care.” He smirks, and she splashes him. “Oi, I was kidding!”

“Mhm, sure.” She rolls here eyes. “I’m gonna go dry off, and then we can look for more wood.”

“Okay.” He nods and watches her walk out of the water.

They’re able to find more wood later on to keep the fire going. They split a granola bar, and they both sigh once it’s gone. The sun was setting, and Nikki couldn’t help but take a picture of how beautiful it was. Just when she was going to put it down, Dan calls her.

“Hey, Dan.”

“Hey! Great news, I’ll be on the rescue plane first thing in the morning. How are you two holding up?”

“We’re…okay. Mostly just hungry. Bring lots of food.”

“I’ll try. The medic may not want to overwhelm your stomachs. We’re gonna bring you both right to the hospital to get checked out. Your bills are going to be paid by the cruise ship company. If I were you I’d threaten to sue to get some money out of them. They’ve been able to keep this story under wraps and I’m sure they’d like to keep it that way.”

“Okay. I have a flare gun, what time should I set it off so you can find us?”

“Try for around 7AM, we should be close by then.”

“Sounds good, thank you.” She hangs up and looks at Harry. “They’re coming for us bright and early.” She nearly squeals.

“That’s incredible news.” He sighs with relief. “Think we could eat some more food?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s like, you know how the night before it snows you don’t do your homework, but you don’t end up getting a snow day so you’re fucked?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’d rather not eat the food just in case something happens.”

“Fair enough.” He shrugs. “Think I’m just bored anyways.” She sits down next to him.

“Me too. We’ve already played twenty questions, never have I ever…I think if we play another game I’ll go bananas.”

“We could have ourselves a wank.”

“Very funny.”

“M’serious, Nik.” He looks at her. “I think I’ll go bananas if I don’t come soon.”

“Harry, it’s only been a few days…”

“Yeah, but I haven’t done anything in over a week because I thought it would be disrespectful while we were sharing a room on the boat.”

“Alright, so go behind a tree and jerk it.” She shrugs.

“Yeah, I could do that…or…”

“Harry Styles.” She gasps, a smile growing on her face. “Are you seriously suggesting that I stick my hand down your sandy pants, and give you a hand job?”

“I’d be getting you off at the same time so-“

“Are you kidding?! I’m all stubbly down there, and I probably smell disgusting, and-“

Just as she had done to him the night before, he was pinning her down and putt his hand over her mouth.

“Nikki, if you really don’t want to, I’ll drop it and go behind a bush and handle things myself, but I have no problem with a little bit of hair, and I’m just offering to finger you, my face doesn’t need to go anywhere near you if you don’t want it to.” He lifts his hand away from her mouth, but continues to hover over her.

“It’s just…we’re friends.”

“Friends help each other out, don’t they?” She nods her head yes. “Do you want to? Don’t let me pressure you.”

“I…I want to, I mean…getting off doesn’t sound terrible. And it could be a good time killer.”

“Right.” He smirks and moves to lay on the ground next to her. She rolls onto her side and so does he. “Can I…touch your chest?”

“Yeah, I’ll take my bra off, but I’m leaving my shirt on. I just…I feel gross, you know?”

“Whatever makes you more comfortable.” Once she’s situated, she unbuttons her shorts. “I went commando today…put my underwear in the fire.”

Harry nods and undoes his shorts. He was a little nervous.

“Can I kiss you?”

“No.”

“We’ve been brushing our teeth, what’s the big deal?”

“Kissing would make it more intimate, Harry. I don’t want this to be some big, emotional thing.”

He furrows his brows, but chooses not to speak. Instead, he reaches his hand inside her shorts and starts to rub at her folds. Her breath hitches, but she reaches him. Her hand slides inside his boxers and she starts to pump his hardening cock.

“You’re already hard.” She breathes. Their faces were only an inch or so apart.

“M’turned on.” He grunts as her thumb swipes over his tip. He feels her getting wet, and he drags it up to her clit. She bites her bottom lip and twists her hand around his cock. He slides his middle finger inside of her and her mouth falls open. “Fuck, you’re tight.”

“Haven’t done this in a while.” Her hips buck in his direction. “Feels nice. Use two.”

“Are you, ngh, sure?”

“Yes.”

He slides a second finger inside of her and uses his thumb on her clit, applying just enough pressure as he presses circles into it. A moan leaves her lips, and for the first time he was hearing because of something he was doing, and not through the walls of his old apartment. It just makes him work harder, curling his fingers up inside her.

“Fuck, that’s so good.” She mewls. “Don’t stop.”

He presses his forehead to hers and pinches his eyes closed. He was getting closer. His cock was slick with precoma, and she was pumping him perfectly.

“Shit, Nikki.” He moans, and it makes her own closed eyes pop open. She had never really heard a guy genuinely moan before, and she thought it was hot, really, really hot. His fingers were petting against her g-spot in just the right way. He opens his eyes and sees her already looking at him. “Is everything alright?”

“Y-yeah, just…say my name like that again.” Her hips were grinding against his hand. “I’m so fucking close.”

“Me too.” He pants. “Fuck, Nikki.” He moans again. He bites his bottom lip to ground himself.

“Oh my god, Harry!” She cries out as she comes around his fingers, and she feels warmth against her hand. He had also come to his release. He slowly takes his hand away, and she does the same. “Shit.” She breathes and sits up. “I, uh, I need to go pee, excuse me.”

He watches her grab some tissues, and she goes to her designated bathroom area. Harry lays back under the raft and tries to catch his breath. He could clean himself up later.

The next morning went by painfully slow. They were up at sunrise in anticipation of the plane coming for them. Nikki’s phone and hotspot had finally died. They made sure to put the fire out safely, and once 7AM hit Nikki shot the flare gun. About ten minutes after that a small plane flew over them, and a rope ladder was thrown out.

“It’s here, we’re saved!” Nikki exclaims, throwing her arms around Harry. He holds her tight for a moment. “I’ll climb up first, okay?”

Harry nods and watches as she starts moving up the ladder, her backpack slung on her back. He climbs up after her, and they’re both pulled inside. Nikki falls into Dan’s arms.

“Thought I was gonna have to go through getting a new partner.” He mutters into her hair. “I’m so happy you’re okay.”

“Me too.”

“How you holding up, Harry?” Dan asks him as the medic checks Harry over.

“I’m alright, I’m feeling really tired, though.”

“So am I.” Nikki says.

“Rest up, we’re headed to a good hospital in Florida.” Dan says, keeping Nikki close to him.

The next time Harry wakes up, he’s in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV. Kyle was sitting by his side. Harry groans as he looks over at him.

“Hey, you’re awake!” Kyle says. “I flew down here as soon as they called me, man. They said you were severely dehydrated, and you had way too much sun, even with all the sunscreen you guys were using. They want to keep you overnight for a psychological evaluation.”

“Makes sense.” Harry sighs. “We’re bound to have some shared trauma, nightmares, remembering certain parts of being thrown off a fucking cruise ship, you know, normal stuff.”

“I haven’t been able to see her yet. I guess Dan’s been in with her, trying to get more info on what happened.”

“Is she awake?”

“I think so…I’ve walked by her room a few times. Did, uh, did anything happen between you two out there?”

“Right, because being stranded is super romantic.” Harry rolls his eyes.

“M’serious, man, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know how you feel about her. The way you’d look at her sometimes…I could see it.”

“Nothing happened.” Harry swallows. “We were out there as friends, and we came back as friends.” Harry sits up a bit. “Is your girlfriend here?”

“No, she’s back at home. She was, uh, very understanding of me wanting to come down here and make sure you both we alright.” Harry nods at that. “If…if something did happen, like, if the next person she ends up being with is you…well, I’d be alright with that.”

“Oh, well, thank god for that. I was really worried about how you’d feel about her moving on.” The sarcasm wasn’t lost on Kyle. “You really fucked her up, you know that? She’s not going to be happy to see you.”

“I know what I did was wrong, but I still care about her wellbeing. I’m gonna go check if I can see her now.” He squeezes Harry’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Kyle stands up and goes down the hall to Nikki’s room. Dan was no longer sitting in there, so he figured it was now or never. He knocks on the door, and she sits up when she sees him.

“Kyle?”

“Hey.” He comes in cautiously. “When Dan called me…I got down to Florida as soon as I could.”

“Yeah? Where’s Claudia?”

“Back home…how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” Nikki sighs. “I’m not roughed up or anything, I guess we were really dehydrated, though. Must have been from all the sun because I had my water purifier…must not work as well with really salty water.”

“I was really worried about you, Nik.” Kyle starts sniffling as tears come to his eyes. “I would have never forgiven myself if you died and the last words you said to me were that you hated me.” He takes her hand in his. “I miss you so much. I hope…I hope we can find a way to be friends.”

“You can’t be serious.” She scoffs and takes her hand away. “You come here, make things about you, and then ask me to be your friend? You cheated on me for six months, Kyle, six months! And you still had the nerve to propose to me! You broke me in so many ways, and I’ve finally been able to put myself back together. Getting stuck out there was almost a blessing. It gave me a lot of the clarity that I needed.”

“I didn’t think you’d still go on the cruise…if I had, I never would have sold Harry the ticket. You must’ve been so mad when you saw him.”

“I was…but he was the perfect person to get stuck out there with.” She shrugs.

“Did anything happen between you two?” He chews on his bottom lip. “I saw him before you, and he said nothing happened, but…he’s a terrible liar. He said you went in as friends, and come out the same way, or something.”

“Well, he’s not wrong about that.” Nikki smirks. “You really wanna know what happened between us?” Kyle nods yes. “Too bad.”

“What?”

“You don’t have the right to know. I meant it when I said I hated you, Kyle. I do, I hate you. It was very nice of you to come down here and make sure we were both okay. I actually appreciate it, but I’ll never forgive you for what you did. Cheating…it’s just not something I can forgive.”

“Okay.” He nods. “Well…I…I really am glad you’re alright. Did they tell you when you’d be able to go home?”

“In a couple of days. They’re keeping us overnight, and then they’re sending in a shrink to evaluate us. Standard procedure.”

“If you need anything at all when you get home…any help suing the cruise ship company, please don’t hesitate to ask. I could help you pro bono.”

“My god, how selfless.” She rolls her eyes. “Go home to Claudia, Kyle.”

“Bye, Nikki.” He lingers for a moment, and then leaves. A few tears roll down her cheeks, but not because of him. She just…missed Harry and wanted to see how he was.

Nikki and Harry weren’t given much time together during their evaluations. They were each spoken to separately, and when they were brought into the same room, they had to speak to the psychologist directly. Nikki desperately wanted to reach out and hold his hand, but she wasn’t really given the chance. Harry was able to catch her in her room before they left the hospital. They were to go directly to the airport to head home.

“Hey.” He says to her.

“Hi.” She says as she zips up her bag. “I think I’m sitting with Dan on the plane.” She swallows.

“Right.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Um, listen, when we get home…don’t be afraid to talk to me. Like, if you have a nightmare or something, don’t be afraid to call. I won’t care what time it is.”

“That’s nice of you, thanks, but I’ll be alright. It’s no different than seeing some bad shit at a crime scene.”

“No, it’s not.” He sighs. “You might-“

“Harry, please.” She shakes her head as she grabs her bags. “I’m a big girl, I think I can handle what happened. It’s not like it was traumatic.” She scoffs.

“Yes it was, are you kidding me? A hurricane-“

“I was there, I know what happened.” She shakes her. “I appreciate you being so nice, but it happened, and it’s over now. Back to reality.”

What she said carried a lot of weight. She was coming down from her cloud, and she realized her and Harry needed to part ways here. Every time she looked at him, she saw Kyle, and she just couldn’t deal with that right now. Harry knew what she meant too. He was extremely disappointed. Even though he was the one that suggested they do what they did that night, he was feeling a lot of emotions about it, almost regret because he knew he’d never get another chance to feel her like that again.

“Captain, I swear I’m fine. I just want to get back to work.”

“I know you do, Reese, but you’ve been through a lot, and-“

“Sir, not to be disrespectful, but I disagree.”

“Nikki.” He sighs. “Take another week off, alright? Work will be waiting here until you get back. I’m happy to see you, but I’ll be happier once I know you’re home. It’s an order, Reese.”

She sighs, but does as he says. She couldn’t really argue with the captain of her precinct. She tells Dan she’ll be out for another week, and then heads home. She hadn’t spoken to Harry, but to be fair he hadn’t made an attempt to reach out to her. He wanted to give her some space, and let her come to him if she wanted to. By the third night she woke herself up screaming and in a cold sweat, she knew she had a problem. She kept having flashes of being dragged under water and not being able to breathe. She finally worked up the nerve to call him…at 3AM.

“Nikki?”

She could tell she had woken him up, but it felt so good to hear his voice.

“Hi.”

“Are you alright, love?”

“No.” She swallows. “No, I keep having nightmares.”

“So do I.” He sighs. “Do you want me to swing by?”

“No, that’s okay…I kinda just wanted to hear your voice. I’m sorry if that’s weird.”

“It’s not…it’s nice to hear yours too.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t reached out until now. I feel like I’ve been trying to pretend nothing happened.”

“A lot of people try to cope that way, but repressing shit isn’t healthy, Nik.”

“So I’ve come to realize. It’s crazy, like, I work with all of these victims, and I’ve never really understood how they couldn’t remember certain things, but I get it now.”

“Trauma’s funny like that.” He says softly. “Have you been back to work?”

“I tried, but my captain told me to take another week off. What about you?”

“I’m doing the same. I’m too distracted to properly help my patients. They’ve been very understanding.”

“That’s good.” She chews her bottom lip. “So, you’ll be home tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe I could come by in the afternoon? It would be nice to talk…maybe we’ve been having the same nightmares. I keep waking up screaming and sweaty.”

“Are you dreaming about being dragged under the water?”

“Yeah…”

“So have I.” He sighs. “Come over around two tomorrow, yeah? I’ll text you my new address.”

“Okay, that sounds good, thanks, Harry.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Well…I’ll let you get back to sleep now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Nik.”

Nikki knocked on Harry’s door promptly at 2PM. She was just in a simple quarter zip and jeans, along with her hair up in a messy bun. Harry opens the door wearing a tee shirt and joggers.

“Hi.” He says.

“Hi.” She says.

He steps aside to let her in. They look at each other for a moment, it looks like they’re both about to speak, but they both close their mouths. There was so much to be said, but neither were sure how to articulate it. Her eyes well up with tears, and she rushes towards him, throwing her arms around his neck, crashing her lips to his. He wastes no time wrapping his arms around her, and returning the kiss. Even though her mouth was preoccupied, kissing him made her feel like she could breathe for the first time in days.

“I missed you.” She says, pressing her head into his chest.

“I missed you too.” He rests his chin on the top of her head.

“I’m sorry if that was weird, I just-“

He cups her cheeks so she’ll look up at him. He gives her a soft smile.

“Nikki, I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…I was pretty jealous of Kyle for a while. I’ve always thought you were wonderful. Feel like we have a lot in common.”

“We do.” She agrees.

“We don’t have to rush into anything…I’d rather us work on ways to not have nightmares and such, but…if you’d be willing to give it a try, I’d love to take you out sometime.”

“You wouldn’t feel weird…about Kyle?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I…I don’t think he’s really someone I want around anymore. I’d rather have you around.” He kisses her tenderly, sucking on her bottom lip for just a moment. “I really fucking like you.”

“I can see that.” She swallows. “I think…I think we could have a lot of fun together.” A smirk grows on her lips. “Just don’t become my therapist, or I’ll beat the shit out of you.”

“Is that a threat or a promise.” He smirks, nuzzling his nose to hers. “Wouldn’t mind seeing how you use your handcuffs.”

“Remember when I called you a moron?” She chuckles. “I meant it.” She shoves him.

“I was kidding, relax.”

“Mhm, sure.” She rolls her eyes.

“Do you want some tea? We could sit and chat. I’ve been trying to record the dreams I’ve been having in a journal. I have my patients do it, so I figured I’d take my own advice.” He leads her into his kitchen and has her sit. “I keep having the same one: drowning.”

“I have that one, and then I have one where…where I wasn’t able to hold onto you.” She frowns as he gets his kettle going. “You know…I had less night terrors sleeping on that beach with you than I have in a long time.”

“Can I ask…would Kyle hold you at night?” Harry sets a mug in front of her before he sits down.

“Um, usually when I’d first fall asleep he’d spoon me for a bit, but he’s not a cuddly sleeper, and he’d eventually roll over. We didn’t spend a lot of nights together because I’d usually wake him up by accident. What does any of that matter?”

“I held you all night while we were on the beach.” He puckers his lips in thought. “Do you have a weighted blanket?”

“No.”

“Do me a favor, get one. You may need the extra weight at night to keep you calm. They work wonders, I have one myself, and a body pillow. I’m a cuddly sleeper.”

“I’ll, um, I’ll look into that.” She takes a careful sip of her tea. “How can I get them stop? The nightmares.”

“Well, talking about it usually helps, and doing things like getting a weighted blanket can help. I think you’ve repressed a lot, Nikki…you need to talk about the things you see and feel.”

“It’s not that simple, Harry.” She sighs. “If anyone at work found out I was seeing a therapist-“

“If it’s that big of a deal…then don’t tell them.”

“Things have a way of getting out.”

“Then…just say you’re seeing me.”

“That’s not fair, though.”

“Nikki.” Harry sighs and places his hand on top of hers. “I’m not offering to be your therapist, I’m just offering to be someone that you can come to if you need to talk about something. M’a really good listener.” He smiles.

“I know you are…thank you. I just don’t want to come to you, and dump on you when people pay you to do that all day. Why should I burden you with my problems?”

“Oh, darling.” He raises her hand to his lips and kisses it. “Nothing about you is a burden. Tons of people feel that way, and that’s why they don’t want to talk to anyone, but once you get talking it just gets easier and easier. I always liked when you’d tell work stories…you could just tell me about the not so great stuff when it’s feeling really heavy.”

“So, if I come to you and say I just spent the day searching for a kid, and we found their dead body in the trunk of a car, you’d be okay with that?”

“Probably wouldn’t wanna chat about it over dinner, but sure.” He shrugs. “Nikki, I told you, I see people who have been through shit, victims and survivors, that stuff doesn’t scare me.”

“I may not open up right away.”

“That’s alright, we don’t always have to talk about the heavy stuff.” He smiles.

“What if I don’t wanna talk at all?” She mutters.

“Well, I don’t know if you remember what happened between us that one night on the beach, but I’m pretty good at not talking too.” He smirks.

“You know, if I had known you had liked me for a while, I wouldn’t have been such a jerk about kissing and stuff that night.”

“I was too blissed out with your hand wrapped around my prick to really care.”

Nikki licks her lips and swallows, looking at his lips briefly.

“You know what would be great?”

“What?”

“A tour of your apartment.”

“How rude of me to not offer when you first came in.” He stands up and extends his hand. She takes it, and lets him lead her around. He shows her the art on the walls, and the various books in his home office.

“Do you ever see patients here?” She asks as she sits down in one of his comfy chairs.

“God, no.” He shakes his head, leaning his bum on his desk. “Sometimes patients can grow certain attachments to their therapists, it’s better for them to not know where I live.”

“Right, because you’re the hot Dr. Styles.” She smirks. “Same thing happens to me sometimes. I’m usually the one they send in undercover to seduce some sick fuck.”

“That’s because you’re incredibly skilled and talented at what you do, Detective Reese.” Nikki stands up and wraps her arms around his neck. “You’re also insanely gorgeous, but that’s besides the point.” He kisses her nose. “Would you like to stay for dinner and watch a movie?”

“Yeah, I would.”

Five months later…

“Dan…what is this?” Nikki points to the plant Dan plopped down on her desk.

“It’s a bonsai tree, they’re super easy to take care of. Consider it your first house warming gift.” He beams at her.

“Aw, you old softie, thank you.” She gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Allie can’t wait for our next game night, by the way. She was thinking we could have you two over to play Clue once you’re all moved in.”

“Yeah! That sounds great. Oh! I wrote down that recipe for that dessert I made for her.” She grabs an envelope from her desk. “That cookies and cream pudding pie.”

“God, thanks.” Dan takes the envelope. “She’s been dying to make it, but she wants to make it the way you did so she can start selling it at the bakery and call it ‘The Nikki’.” He chuckles.

“She’s too sweet, honestly. If you don’t put a ring on it, I will.”

Things had been going really well for Nikki. Thanks to Harry, she had gotten better about opening up about things. It was so slow going at first, but eventually she got to talking, and it helped her be a better detective. Being Harry’s girlfriend was amazing. It didn’t take much for her to fall head over heels in love with him. And there was no denying that he was gaga over her. That’s why after just five months of dating, they were moving into their very own town home together. It didn’t feel fast to either of them because they had known each other for years, and they slept at each other’s places all the time as it was. It just made sense to move in together. They were in love, and were a great pair. Alex had even gotten used to it, and Harry set her up with one of his friends, Ben. Their friends helped them move, and Nikki put her new bonsai tree in her kitchen bay window. Everyone left after having some pizza and beer.

“Can you believe this is all ours?” He says into her ear as he wraps his arms around her from behind.

“No.” She giggles as he nibbles on her earlobe. “But I’m really happy.”

“Me too.” He hums. He sponges kisses to her neck and sinks his teeth into her skin.

“Harry.” She whines. “We need to unpack.”

“Don’t wanna.” He mumbles into her skin.

“Can we at least do the kitchen and the upstairs bathroom? You know, the, um, essentials.” She swallows. Harry was often very affectionate with her, and she liked it. She really, really liked it.

“Fine.” He turns her around. “But when we’re done with the kitchen and the upstairs bathroom, we’re doing the bedroom.”

“Seems fair to me.” She pecks his lips.

The two work in tandem to put their essentials away. It was actually fun to organize the cabinets together. Next, they go upstairs to work on their bathroom. Actually, Harry handles the bathroom while Nikki gets some fresh sheets on their new king sized bed.

“Bathroom’s all set.” Harry says.

“I just got the foam topper and the fitted sheet on the bed, I just have to – ah!”

Harry had grabbed her and thrown her onto the bed. She squeals as he launches himself onto it, almost crushing her in the process.

“Making the bed fully would be a waste of energy.” He says into her ear as he pins her wrists down. He sucks on her supple bottom lip, and lets it go, causing her to whimper. “Don’t you think?” She nods her head yes. “Just wanna fuck my new live-in girlfriend, can I?”

“Please.” She breathes. “Need you to take care of me.” She pouts at him.

“Aw, my angel-baby-detective needs some lovin’?” He pouts back at her.

“Uh-huh.”

He grins at her and has them both sit up. He peels off her tee shirt, and lifts off her sports bra. He gropes her breasts before kissing on them. He sucks bruise after bruise into her plushy skin. He pulls her into his lap so she can grind on him while he paid attention to her breasts. She liked it when Harry left marks on her like this. She liked being his. He lays her down onto her back. He kisses down her torso, nipping where he pleases. He loved kissing on her pudgier areas because he wanted to show how much he loved every inch of her. She did the same with his love handles. He drags her yoga pants and underwear off, and tosses them to the floor.

“Look at you, so wet already.” He says as he pulls her thighs apart.

“You were already making me feel so good, Har.”

He hums his response as he laps his tongue around her center. He moans once he gets a proper taste of her. He licks his way up to her clit and sucks on it while he works two fingers inside of her. She grabs at his hair and tugs on it while her body starts to tingle.

“Fuck, just like that.” She mewls while raising her hips to meet his mouth more. She comes to her release, and she tugs him up to her. She licks into his mouth and sucks on his tongue. “Get naked, now.” She nearly growls.

Harry grins and gets his clothes off. He sits up against the headboard and waits for Nikki to swing her leg over his lap. She lines him up with her center, rubbing his tip along her clit before sinking down onto him. They both moan out, and he grabs at her hips to help her find a rhythm. She puts her hands on his shoulders and starts bouncing up and down on his cock.

“God, I love you so much.” He grunts.

“I love you too.” She kisses him and runs her hands through his hair. “Don’t know I ever survived without having your big dick inside me, fuck.”

“Yeah? M’making you feel good, baby?”

“So fucking good.” She pants. “Best I’ve ever fucking had.”

She comes again, and with the way she clenches around him he nearly loses it inside of her. He lifts her off just in time and comes on her stomach. He kisses her over and over, and they both giggle. Once they’re both cleaned up, Harry helps Nikki get the bed made, and they both climb in. She rests her head on his stomach while he reads his book.

“Harry?” She looks up at him. “Could you out your book down for a second? I have something to tell you.”

“Sure, sweetie.” He dog-ears the page he’s on and sets his book down. “What’s up? Oh, is this about me buying the Hamilton Beach food processor instead of the Cuisine Art one like you wanted?”

“No.” She chuckles.

“Are you sure? Because you cried when I brought it home. I swear, the Hamilton Beach one had better reviews, that’s the only reason why I got it.”

“I cried because I was hormonal.” She chews her bottom lip. “Harry, I’m pregnant.”

“But I came on your stomach.” He blinks, and then looks down at her.

“Yeah, tonight you did.” She sits up so she can look at him better. She kisses his shoulder and then smiles at him. “My period was late, so I took a test just for the hell of it…I’m six weeks.” She grabs her phone off the side table. “I even took a selfie with it to show you.”

“Oh my god, you’re not kidding.” He looks at the picture and then at her. “How long have you known for?”

“Only a week. I wanted to wait until the move was over to tell you. How, um, how do you feel about this? We haven’t really talked about kids or anything.”

“I know.” He hands her back her phone and throws his arm around her. “I mean, I fully intended on proposing and all that, just not for another few months. I wanted to see how living together went.” He smiles down at her. “And I was hoping you’d want kids at some point…think you’d make a great mum. I’ve seen you with kids, you’re amazing.” He kisses her temple and starts laughing. “I can’t believe I’m gonna be a father.” He shakes his head. “Thanks, Nikki!”

“You’re such a dork.” She chuckles. “You’re really not mad, or upset?”

“How could I be? I’m living with the girl I never thought I’d even get the chance to kiss, and now she’s pregnant with my baby. I’m ecstatic.” He pecks her lips. “How are you feeling about all of it?”

“I’m…actually pretty excited. I mean…I went off birth control months ago for this very reason. I didn’t think it would happen quite this fast, but this is a pretty happy accident.”

“I wonder what we were doing six weeks ago.”

“What does it matter?”

“I’d just like to know how our little fetus got conceived.”

“I, um, think it was the night, you, uh, let me lick the whip cream off you on your desk.” She swallows.

“Oh, yeah! Blew my load right up into you, didn’t I?” He smirks. “We should do that again, it was a great sensory exercise.”

“Harry!” She smacks his chest.

“You’re really okay with all this, Nik? It’s your body.” He caresses her cheek and she leans into his warm palm.

“I’m more than okay with it. Just don’t rush an engagement or anything like that, okay? I wanna marry you at some point too…but…not just because I’m pregnant.”

“So…if like four months from now I had a long weekend for us planned to go apple picking up north, and while we were settling down in the evening getting cozy in front of a fire place…you wouldn’t want me to propose?”

“You know, I hear being pregnant can make you forget all kinds of things, so I can’t wait to be surprised four months from now when you suggest going away for a long weekend to go apple picking.” She beams at him. “I think I’d really like that.”

#wrecked #harry styles #harry styes imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles x oc #thereapist!harry #psychologist!harry

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charmingyong · 3 years

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Noxious Cherry (1)

Part 1 | Part 2

Genre: criminal!Taeyong x fem!reader

Warnings: psycho, deception, theft, shootings, swearing, car explosion

Word count: 2.7k

Plot: You found a pink haired man lying on the ground and decided to check up on him when you should have run away.

A/N: I AM OBSESSED WITH TY’S GTA! This genre reminds me of @taeyongtime’s Pre: Ace of Fools so do check that out if wanting another psycho read.

Gif: mine

- ❀ -

Finally home time!

The feeling of settling into your car after the end of your night shift was a pleasant one. You relaxed your head against the headrest and let the exhaustion from having to stand hours preparing the endless coffee orders leave your body before starting your car. You drove down the empty streets, a few nonfunctioning streetlamps creating a dim lighting along the sidewalks. Mindlessly, you passed by a park where a dark figure laid still on the ground.

Reaching a red light of an intersection, you thought back to the thing you caught a glimpse of earlier and something itched in you to go back and check it out. When the lights turned green, you made a U-turn and found the figure still there, unmoving.

Walking closer to it, you realized it was a boy with pink hair, eyes closed looking unconscious, though his chest rhythmically rose up and down. You squinted to get a better look of his face under the low lighting and did not spot a single scratch on the skin to hint any signs of him being injured.

Is he okay? you thought. Should I wake him up?

Worried that he could have been bruised under his clothes, you called for him. “Hello? Are you okay?”

Hearing your voice, his eyes fluttered open and his breath hitched upon seeing a beautiful face up close. You were relieved that he was alive, but grew uneasy when he merely stared at you, not responding back to you with words.

“Um, are you okay?” you asked again, hoping he would say something about why he was on the ground in the middle of the night.

He only groaned as he shifted his weight to sit upright, rolling his neck and shoulders in circles to alleviate the tensed muscles.

“Should I call the ambula-”

“Don’t,” he cut you off with a small glare. He couldn’t afford getting caught if he were taken to the hospital, especially when he didn’t even need to go there in the first place.

You bit your lip nervously, unsure what to do next. You didn’t want to be rude and leave him alone all of a sudden, but you really wanted to go home. Should you drop him home? Get a grip, Y/N! He was a stranger, and you couldn’t tell if he was safe enough to bring him inside your car. “But are you hurt?”

“It’s not that bad,” he replied. “Just take me home.”

Shit.

Looked like you were taking him into your car.

“Where do you live?” You hoped he didn’t live somewhere too far so you could get under the covers of your cozy blankets as soon as you could.

The boy cocked his head to the side and gazed at you in amusement. “Take me to your home.”

You were thankful it wasn’t summer just yet. Otherwise, mosquitoes would have entered your jaw-dropped mouth. Was he crazy? Why would anyone in their right mind ask to be taken to a complete stranger’s home? Especially one where you lived alone. “Why my home? Don’t you have one?”

He propped his upper body up with hands resting beside him, watching you with a dark glint in his eyes that you failed to notice. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

The boy was adamant and wouldn’t take no for a response, making you pray to the Lords that nothing bad would happen when taking home the pink haired whose name you learned was Taeyong.

Your keys repeatedly failed to connect with the lock of your house. It was hard to when Taeyong’s intense gaze was fixed on your side profile. “Sorry,” you nervously chuckled. “I’m really tired from work,” you tried reasoning.

After struggling for a while, he snatched the key from your grasp and unlocked the door, pushing it open and inviting himself in. You stay rooted by the entrance, shocked that Taeyong casually opened the door and simply walked in as if it were his house.

Taeyong looked around your place, interested to see the soft-hearted person you were with various photos of your loved ones hanging on the walls.

“Do you need the first aid kit?” you asked.

He touched himself in the stomach and hissed. “Yeah.”

You nodded and went to search for the kit in the bathroom. When out of his sight, Taeyong plopped down on the sofa, letting out a long exhale and half smiled. He found it new and amusing with someone being concerned for his well-being.

With the kit in your hand, you took a moment to calm down your racing heart. Taeyong was not letting you feel comfortable for a reason that you failed to decipher. You met your gaze in the mirror and told yourself that nothing bad should happen. How could a wounded boy harm a girl?

You walked back into the living room and were relieved to see Taeyong resting on the sofa with his eyes closed. If he wanted to harm you, then he wouldn’t be lounging around like that. “I brought it.”

He hummed and opened one eye. “You can leave it there and head for bed,” he said nodding towards the small table in front of him.

“Don’t you need any help though?” What if he had any wounds on his back that he couldn’t reach?

Taeyong clicked his tongue. “I’ll be fine.”

“I have a guest bedroom. You can sleep there,” you offered.

He shook his head. “I’m fine here.”

“But the sofa isn’t-”

“I’m fine.”

You bit back your tongue, letting him decide on his own what was best for him. It was odd that he wouldn’t opt for a bed to let his body relax and heal faster. “Okay, I’ll bring you a pillow and blanket then.”

“I don’t need them. That throw will be fine.” He pointed at one draped over the armchair.

Were you being too pushy? Why was this guy refusing everything that you were kindly offering? “Okay… I’ll head up then. G’night.” With that, you hurriedly went up to your refuge and finally called it a night.

Once the coast was clear, Taeyong pulled off his denim jacket and shirt over his head, observing his skin.

Flawless skin.

Not a single wound spotted.

You’re a cute one, he thought and smirked to himself.

- ❀ -

You took Taeyong out for shopping the next day, as per his so-called request. It was more of a demand. You didn’t understand why he was staying at your place but decided to keep your mouth shut and hoped that he’d leave you soon.

While you wandered around the cosmetics section, Taeyong left your side, his eyes catching interest of the sparkling diamonds department.

“Hello, sir. What would you like to see?” the woman behind the counter asked sweetly.

Taeyong paid no mind looking at her and locked his gaze on a specific 2 carat round eternity engagement ring in 14k white gold. “How much is that?” he pointed at the ring enclosed in the display case.

“Twenty-five thousand dollars, sir.”

Taeyong let out a whistle and propped his elbow on the casing. He turned around to search for you, finding you try on a couple of samples on your skin, and his lips curled up when seeing you pleased with the products.

The man not being by your side gave you some time to calm your heart down. You didn’t know why you felt that way with Taeyong when he hadn’t done anything to harm you. Something warned you from the inside to not trust him, even though he hadn’t done anything to invade your privacy at home. You were glad that he chose to sleep downstairs and so a part of you grew fond for him despite the short time.

Then what was this feeling that you probably made a grave mistake for helping him out last night?

You put away the product testers and searched for Taeyong, spotting the pink one easily as he leisurely passed by two security guards and picked out a pistol from its holder without them knowing.

“What the…” you breathed out. What was this guy going to do with a gun?

Taeyong made his way over to the fire alarm system and pulled it down. A loud, 3-beep pattern resonated throughout the store and numerous customers panicked, dashing out the building while the guards tried to figure out what was going on. The boy walked back to the diamonds where the employee was still there, frantically locking everything up before leaving for safety.

“Give me the ring,” Taeyong ordered. His blank expression made the woman not take him seriously and ignored him. Just when she was about to leave the counter, Taeyong held up the gun at her forehead and repeated. “Give me or I’ll shoot you.”

“B-But th-there’s a fire!” she cried. She didn’t want to die from the fire, or from the gunshot, or from her boss that she gave one of the most expensive rings away for free.

“There’s no fire. Quit wasting time or I’ll shoot.”

The guards caught up on the situation. “Hey you! Put that gun down or I’ll shoot you!” one said, while the other informed the situation through his walkie talkie.

Taeyong grabbed the woman in the blink of an eye, holding her as a shield with the gun pressed against her temple. “If you come near me, she dies.”

The guards backed away and held their hands up. “Okay okay! Let her go, man.”

I will, but after I get my ring, he thought.

He pulled the worker behind the counter, keeping her in front of him, and ordered her again. She obeyed, the fear of having to die from his gun scariest than any other consequence she’d have to face later. “D-Do you want the r-ring casing?”

“Just the damn ring.”

She handed it over with shaky hands. He shoved it inside the pocket of his jeans and shot the two guards down. The woman screamed and he pushed her away.

“Chill. I won’t kill you unless you get in my way.”

He sprinted to your rooted spot where you silently watched the scene unfold. Taeyong pulled you out of your shock self when he grabbed your hand and darted for the exit, letting your feet automatically respond to his action.

“Pass me the car key,” he instructed.

You didn’t want to, not when he shot two people in front of your eyes. But you chose to trust him than get caught now that you were technically his partner in crime. You both rushed to your car with him diving into the driver’s seat while you in the passenger. The police sirens could be heard from a distance and Taeyong wasted no time and slammed on the accelerator without putting on his seatbelt.

He went over the speed limit, overtaking the slower cars in the lanes as he tried to widen the gap between him and the flashing red and blue lights. A red traffic light was fast approaching, and cars were lined up ahead. But the boy made no plans to pull the brakes.

“You need to slow down!” you screamed.

The pink haired peeked at the rearview mirror, spotting the cops not too far behind them.

“Taeyong, stop!” Right before he could touch the stopped vehicles, he swerved the car abruptly to the empty lanes.

The lanes for the opposite direction.

You pulled at your hair, close to losing your sanity. “Are you fucking trying to kill us?”

The cops took a while to decide on the next course of action before following suit. He smirked, pleased with himself. “Relax, sweetheart. I’m good at this.”

Traffic was ongoing perpendicular to your direction and you were horrified with what the psycho was planning to do next. Without slowing the speed, Taeyong sped through the intersection once spotting an opening. Cars screeched to a stop and honked at the maniac driver.

This was a nightmare.

The very nightmare that the pink haired found thrilling.

Once on a street clear of any other vehicles besides yours and the police, you shouted, “I’m feeling fucking sick!”

“Hang in there. The show’s almost over.”

Wait…

What?

He checked the rearview again and the spacing was perfect. There were only two cars after them, making it easy for his plan to work.

Taeyong slammed the brakes and turned the steering wheel all the way, spinning the car 360 degrees. You screamed and held onto the handle tightly, shutting your eyes.

“Hold the wheel,” he said.

“What?”

He grabbed your hand and placed it on the steering wheel. “Hold it,” he directed. After you did, Taeyong pushed your head below the windows, clear from his aim. He lowered the glass barriers and shot at an incoming auto, aiming perfectly at the one in front of the other which resulted it to swerve out of control. This caused the one behind it to collide and flip over onto its roof. And not too long after-

BAAM!

It exploded into flames, ending the chase.

Taeyong stepped out of your new car and you followed, slamming the door shut angrily. “Why the fuck did you do that?” Your eyes moisten from the intense anger that built up inside.

He rounded the vehicle and stopped in front of you, alarming you when he suddenly grabbed your hand.

You tried to yank your hand free, but his grip was tight. “What the hell are you doing?”

His hand dug in his pocket for the stolen ring and slid it onto your ring finger. “I got this for you,” he spoke quietly while admiring the beauty that rested on your hand.

Your rage died for a moment, puzzled that he’d do such a thing to get you a ring. “Why?” Tears fell from its place and you wailed. “Why did you do it?” You never asked for any of this, from the theft to the shootings, to him even changing your car at a dealership who he was well acquainted with.

Taeyong shrugged coolly as if it was no big deal. “Just felt like it. I saw it and I wanted to get it for you. Usually I steal cars, so be honoured that I stole a beauty like that for you.” He winked at you and walked inside your house.

You took a moment to scream your frustration out, almost kicking the car before deciding against it. Walking in, you found the boy sprawled on the sofa, eyes closed.

“If you wanted to get me it, then you should have paid for it like a normal person would!”

He peeked at you through one eye. “Do you know how much that’s worth?”

It was a no brainer that it was expensive. But exactly how much… “No.”

“Twenty-five grand.”

Talk about getting all the wind knocked out of your lungs. That was nearly how much you’d make in a year and you were not going to wear it.

Especially when it was involved in a criminal act.

You ripped it off your finger and chucked it at him. He swiftly caught it as if he expected that reaction from you.

“Get the fuck out of my house! And don’t you dare show me your face again!”

Taeyong slowly sauntered to you, a predatory look in his eyes. You backed away from him trying to keep a distance until your backside met the wall. He trapped you in his arms, resting his hands on either sides of your face and wore a smug smile. “I can. But what will happen to you?”

You blinked and attempted to gulp down the ball forming at the back of your throat. “W-What do you mean?”

He lifted one hand off and showed you the ring. “They’ll be looking for this and footage from the security cameras will show that there was a boy and a girl that left together with the ring.”

Oh crap.

“I’m an expert at running away without getting caught, sweetheart. But if you don’t want to get caught, then you’ll have to keep me around. I’ll make sure both of us will be safe.” Taeyong leaned close to your ear, whispering with a hot breath that sent a shiver down your spine, “It’s my specialty.”

#nct #nct 127 #lee taeyong #nct taeyong #taeyong x reader #taeyong imagines #taeyong scenarios #taeyong fanfic #nct fanfic #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct x reader #charm

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imaginesandinserts · 3 years

Text

Irreverent Pt. 55 - Utter Fixation

Title: Irreverent Pt. 55 - Utter Fixation

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader Rating: M Words: ~14K

A/N: This one is a doozy lols. Solnyshko is Russian for sunshine.

Men of Irreverent: Casting

Irreverent Series Masterlist

"Nice shot." You hug Spencer, his bony frame shaking just slightly as he laughs at your comment. "Bet you don't make fun of my marksmanship again, huh?" he jostles you as the two of you stand off to the side while Derek and Aaron wrap up with the SWAT team leader and ensure that both Novak and Cavanaugh are set on their way to the hospital, with appropriate protection in place while they await their CIA handler. "Yeah, that's not gonna happen," you smirk, before looping your arm through Spencer's as he leads you out to the car. As you pass by Agent Novak in a gurney, he nods at you in thanks. You offer a smile back, trudging through the field surrounding the warehouse. Spencer doesn't say much else and you know he's trying his best not to overwhelm you. You'd seemed shell shocked when Derek had gotten to you and it was only now, when the adrenaline was seeping out of your system, that you felt more capable. You lean against the car with Spencer, your mind fogging up as you careen through everything that had happened. You hadn't seen Clyde yet, so you imagine he's at Quantico. You'll have to ask Aaron about that. It's a wonder they'd managed to actually find you, but you'd never really doubted the team, no matter how much the odds had been stacked against them. Aaron had been the one to take out Ramos. He hadn't trusted any of the SWAT guys to do it. Not when it came to you. He wouldn't trust anyone else with that. Not that he had told you, but you had known even before you got to him. You see Derek and Aaron walking towards you, Derek pulling you into a quick hug before getting into the front driver's side. You expect Aaron to go around to ride shotgun, but he follows you in as you enter the back of the car, leaving Spencer to go sit up front. When you're buckled in, you look over to him. His eyes can't seem to leave you and you're struck by the thought: he'd been genuinely scared. The car rumbles to life as Derek pulls off onto the road and with one quick glance forward to ensure that neither Derek nor Spencer are paying you much mind, you close the distance between you and Aaron in the back. You press up against him and claim his mouth, a silent reassurance that you are indeed alright. He knows what you're doing and he lets you kiss him, the silent ambient noises of the car drowning out the two of you in the back. If Morgan or Reid noticed, they wisely kept their mouths shut and their eyes trained on the road in front. He can taste you – taste your apology, your regret. He feels your shoulders relax under his touch as his hand comes around to hold you to him. As you withdraw for a breath, he can't help the curve of his mouth from slipping into a small smile. "Does this mean we're back together?" he murmurs against your lips. He's not expecting a response beyond a laugh or agreement, but instead he sees confusion flicker onto your face as you move back to look at him properly. "What are you talking about?" He explains then. How Strauss had come to his office with the paperwork. How he'd seen your signature on the first page and she had expected he would sign the second. How he had indeed signed it, trusting that you had your reasons.

You feel your breath leave your lungs in utter disbelief. He'd thought…he'd thought you'd ended it. Just like that. He had signed it out of sheer faith and then gone home to Jack and pretended like nothing had happened. You can feel the pinprick tears in your eyes as you come to understand some of what he too must have gone through in the last couple weeks. You shake your head in disbelief, your mouth dry as you sniffle and clear your throat. "I – I didn't know," you tell him softly, your hand grasping his in the darkness. You'd never known he would have to sign something too. You'd only been shown that first page. You thought that would be it. That just you telling Strauss would be enough. Had you known – "Oh honey, I am so sorry." Your whispered apology is followed by your mouth on his once more, lips ghosting over his face, pressing to his skin. Physical atonement for the agitation and concern and worry you had no doubt caused him. Had you known that he too would have had to sign something, you would've spoken to him. Would've forced yourself to explain what was going on, as much as you could've. Perhaps you should've known better but back then, fresh after the day Clyde had taken you, your mind had been in disarray and you'd acted on instinct alone, doing your best to shield both him and Jack against any blowback from your assignment. You'd acted out of fear. Aaron only nods, drawing you in closer, tucked so close to him, you're practically in his lap. He's reacting to it a lot more calmly than you'd expected. No berating at you not thinking things through, because of course he would have to sign something too, and why wouldn't you just talk to him. Maybe, implicitly, he understood how much of a mess you'd been back then, trying to do whatever you could to remove the trail leading from you to him and Jack. Making sure that if anyone were to come after you, they would be safe.

You can feel his lips at your hairline as you push closer into him, running your fingers down his back, finding that pressure point that has him relaxing entirely under your touch as he holds you. The silent understanding that this – the two of you – was unshakeable. You'd left him and trusted him to find you. He'd let you go and trusted you to return. *------------* Clyde thought you were the mole. That you've been planted at the Bureau under your father's orders. Aaron and the others had filled you in on that as you'd neared Quantico, with Aaron still fretting that you needed sleep and rest before dealing with any of this. If it were up to him, he'd have you hooked up to an I.V. and put on bedrest. As it stood, it was not up to him, so now you're sat in a glass conference room, awaiting the rest of the team. The second you had arrived back at the Bureau, a couple agents had met you all in the parking garage and the four of you had been led past McKinney's office and to this room. You imagine the rest of the team will be joining you shortly, as you all had been the closest. It's really starting to sink in – Clyde thinks you're the mole, he'd talked to McKinney, you were escorted here by agents. You'd tried to protest when they'd met you in the garage, but one look from Aaron had you silent. He wants you to go along with this and not cause problems as long as possible. Buy time to figure out what was going on and what Clyde's angle was. It's only been a minute since you all were let into the room, Morgan and Reid were sat in chairs around the large table while Aaron stood leaned against it. He watches as you look out the glass walls, your eyes squinting, and he can tell you're thinking through what to do next. Aaron finds himself uncharacteristically calm regarding the situation – now that you're back, it shouldn't take much to convince McKinney just how ridiculous the entire notion of you being a mole really was. He isn't being naïve. He's aware that Easter potentially could have a case, given everything you've told him about your deal with your father. However, as it stands, he knows without a shadow of a doubt that it isn't the truth, and he can't imagine any proof that would show otherwise. "Can I borrow your phone?" Aaron starts at your sharp voice, your hand reaching out towards him almost impatiently. Brow furrowing in confusion, he's about to ask why, but the urgency on your face has him handing the device over before he can. He watches as you move away to the opposite side of the room, unable to step outside with two agents still standing guard. He shares a look with Morgan, who only shrugs as the two of them await the end of the call. With your head turned away to prevent Reid from watching, there isn't much more that they can do. You wrap up your call quickly, unsure how much time you have before Clyde and McKinney arrive, when you hear the door opening behind you. "Hey Cap." Your heart stops. No. It wasn't – You turn slowly, eyes widening as you see him standing in the doorway, a smile on his face, eyes crinkled at the corners. A soft gasp escapes you as you take him in. Then before you know it, you've barreled over to him, arms wrapped tight around his waist as his encircle your shoulders, tucking your head into his chest. Only one word comes to your mind, making its way down through you and settling against your ribs – Solnyshko. John presses a kiss to your hairline and you can feel the tears threatening to fall. Because if Aaron's arms were home, then John's were the lake house growing up. The one you think of fondly with the rose tinged glasses of nostalgia. Back to warm summers and too much sticky sweet ice cream dripping down your hands. To the thrill of jumping off the pier, scared and screaming and thrilled all at once. To the soft touches and gentle kisses shared on the patio with boys whom you would move on from but always remember. To the child you were, wide eyed and curious, wanting to have it all. He's a different kind of home. "We thought we could use an extra hand." You turn around at Aaron's deep voice coming from behind you, and there's a smile on his face that you're not sure how to interpret just yet. You can feel tears clouding your vision as you look at him, John's warmth still surrounding you, his arm still holding you near as he keeps you by his side. He'd called him. He'd called John. For you. Of course he had. Thank you, you mouth at him, catching just the hint of a second smile on his face before you're tackled by Penelope, who shoves John to the side. Behind her, you can make out Emily, JJ, and Rossi entering the room as well. "Oh my goodness, sugar! You're alright! I mean of course you are. We knew you'd be alright. We never doubted it, did we?" she asks Derek frenetically, whom you assume is behind you, but doesn't wait for a response before continuing her frenzied inspection, her hands running over your arms and hair, making sure nothing was out of place. "But you're alright, right? I mean when we saw what Easter did to you on that video – so, so awful. Who would waterboard someone? I mean, sure, you can learn anything on the internet, but that is still abhorrent. But don't you worry because I'm hunting down the other guys that were there with him, so we'll take care of them and of course the Director already knows, because Hotch showed him, and – " You break away from Penelope, trying to keep pace with her mile a minute voice, trying to understand everything she'd just said, trying to figure out what video… There's a sharp inhale that you hadn't realized was your own. Your lip quivers, eyes wide as the sinking, dreadful realization reaches you. In the background you can just barely make out John's voice asking what video she's talking about. You can't do anything but shake your head in horror. No. No. That's not. No. Aaron. No no no no no. He's looking at you and you know. He knows. No. You can't breathe. You can feel the air leaving your lungs but none seems to be making its way back in. Through the din you can make out Penelope and Derek moving towards you to make sure you're alright. John is still standing right where he'd landed when Penelope had pushed past him. Aaron. He'd seen. He knows. Oh God. Behind you, the door opens once more. You don't turn around to see who it is. Not yet. Aaron watches silently as you freeze, your shoulders tensing. He'd stopped himself from grabbing you right as the door opened, not wanting to give any visual to McKinney and Easter alluding to yours and his personal relationship. He knows better and he allows the part of him that knows the political play here, to overrule the part begging him to go to you. To seize you into his arms and draw you away from this room, this building. Take you home where none of this could touch you. No one could hurt you. Instinctively, your hands graze over your stomach, stopping momentarily before continuing up to your face and wiping away at the tears that had fallen. He sees you take a deep breath. Then another. Lips pressed tightly. Hands made into fists. It's like watching a metamorphosis in reverse – the unbridled, frantic panic and fury slip away, replaced by a cocooned version of you, held tight and wound together, guarding your soft spots within. "If everyone could please take a seat." Director McKinney enters the room after Easter who had already made himself at home near the front, a stack of folders and a tablet in his hands, his eyes curiously looking over the lot of you inside. You, still turned around and facing the other way, and every other person in that room, holding their breath and waiting for you to turn back. At the sound of McKinney's voice, you push through, forcing your mind to shut out the pieces of information that were not helpful in the moment. Aaron had already talked to you on the way up about not doing anything to get on McKinney's bad side right then, and you know that refusing to acknowledge his presence while you had a breakdown in the corner wouldn't earn you any brownie points. So, simply put, you didn't have the luxury to absorb it all. You couldn't think about the fact that they knew – that Aaron knew – about what Clyde did, why you had gone to Strauss, the baby. Your baby. His baby. Your baby. You didn't have the time to let it sink in, to take him aside, to give you both the time to fall apart. You couldn't. Not now. Later. First this. Later. With that, the steel trap clamps down, caging it all away. Turning, you grab the first chair in front of you, while everyone else who had been crowded near the doorway shuffles in. Aaron quickly settles down to your left, a brush of his hand to your shoulder and a softly muttered Later that was meant for your ears alone, but was caught by John as he claims the chair to your right. As you look up, you see Gladys trotting in after McKinney, a righteous look on her face as she carries what looks like a bundle of cloth and a mug into the room right behind her boss, and walks over to set both items down in front of you. With a quick motherly brush of your hair, she leaves as quickly as she came in, defiantly avoiding McKinney's eyes. It's quiet as everyone settles in, the shuffling of clothing and people, accompanied by the groan of government budget issued chairs. You reach out for the bunched up fabric on the table in front of you and unravel it to reveal a regulation F.B.I. crewneck. You're quick to slip out of the stiff leather jacket you still had on from a day prior, revealing a strappy top beneath, which you cover up, basking in the warmth the sweater provided. Gladys had also brought you a mug of hot chocolate from the kitchens and you reach for it gratefully, taking a quick sip, the hot liquid burning a molten streak down your throat in the best of ways.

From the corner of your eye you can see the regret in Aaron's posture as he sees you enjoy the most basic of comforts offered by someone else. Something he should've considered. You're able to offer him only the slightest of assurance with your eyes – he'd found you, that's what was truly important. *------------* "Who is this?" McKinney asks, gesturing towards John once everyone was seated and Clyde was preparing to speak at the front. You exchange a look with Aaron and John both, realizing that perhaps John's presence wasn't entirely Bureau approved. "I am exercising my right to retain private counsel," you speak up before either one of them could. "That –," McKinney begins, only to be interrupted by Spencer, " – is allowed per Section 56 Code 19 of the Employee Handbook. All agents retain the right to employ private counsel in the event of accusations levied against their person as a function of their role within the Bureau." Reid rattles it all off quickly and not for the first time, you find yourself jealous of his eidetic memory. Yours was good, but not nearly like his. You shoot Spencer a grateful smile, before meeting McKinney's eyes once more. "You're paying him?" The question comes from Clyde, eyebrow raised, in a tone so derisive that you have to wonder if he had ever liked you at all, or if the man had spent the past number of months that you two worked together, silently seething at your very existence. You don't have to look at Aaron to know that he's already pulled out his wallet, when he hands you a twenty dollar bill. You slide it across the table, over to John, never once turning away from Clyde's critical look, your own unwavering under his scrutiny. He had no idea who he was going to war with. McKinney looks between you and Clyde, before sighing and nodding his okay. "Very well." He turns towards Clyde to give him the floor. Your eyes narrow as you take a sip of the hot chocolate again, careful to not show any discomfort outwards. Beneath the table, you can feel Aaron's hand resting against your thigh, the heat of it reminding you that you aren't alone. McKinney had let you have them all here with you, likely in reaction to that video, if Aaron had indeed showed it to him. He had the kindness to not make you be alone with the man who had tortured you. If Clyde was going to be accusing you of anything, he'd have to do it front of everyone. On your other side, you feel John shift, his knee skimming against yours before settling down to be right against it, a silent pledge – he's there too, and he isn't leaving. *------------* "I believe we all know why we are here," McKinney starts, his hands interlaced together on the table, a serious set to his brow. He's doing his best to keep this entire procedure civil. You know he's doing you a favor by allowing you to be there when Clyde offers up his accusation formally. He's offering you the opportunity for rebuttal before any of it is written down and documented. Saving you, potentially, from an entire formal review. Part of you wonders who that is meant to protect however – you, Clyde, or McKinney himself? You nod to indicate that you understand, meeting McKinney's eyes. Walter McKinney – as you'd come to learn – was a fair man and his rise in the Bureau had been no fluke. He knows that the reason you'd brought in the BAU at all was because you hadn't trusted anyone – not even him. You have to believe that when the two of you do eventually speak alone, that he would understand why. Clyde clears his throat, turning everyone's attention to him and the screen. Him, you were extremely wary of. You had been immediately after he'd tortured you, of course. However, he'd managed to convince you, that for him, that had been standard operating procedure. He'd been able to use your own fear and insecurities to convince you to go along with it. Were he not sitting across a table, gearing up to accuse you of treason, you might have allowed that one act to pass – he had simply been trying to make sure you were prepared for the worst. Not anymore. "I would've preferred this meeting be held behind closed doors," he begins, tilting back in his chair and keeping one eye trained on you at all times as though he thought you'd try and pull a disappearing act, "However, no matter. I will be walking through the evidence gathered against Agent L/N, proving that she has been a plant working against the Bureau since the very beginning." His declaration is followed by silence from everyone else in the room, and were it not for the seriousness of the accusation, you might've laughed. The screen at the front of the room flickers on, and a black and white surveillance quality photo of an airstrip appears. You're disembarking with your father at your side. You're eighteen, your hair up in a ponytail, John's Columbia Law School hoodie, rumpled from far too many hours on an airplane. Beside you, you feel him tense as he too realizes exactly how old this photograph is. How young you were in that. It's from that summer, so very long ago. When he and Julian had gone on that trip, just the two of them. You'd gone with your father. There's a man standing by a car at the foot of the steps leading down from the plane. For the first time in over seven years, you set eyes on Volkov again. "For those of you who may not be aware, the man in the photo is Alexander Volkov. Volkov is wanted by many Eastern European governments, and is notoriously on the books for the Russian government, despite no official ties. If you recall the bombing in Sokovia, five years ago, you're looking at the man responsible." Easter had been part of Olympus. He hasn't confirmed it, but that was the only thing that made sense. You look around and know that at least both Aaron and Emily had reached a similar conclusion. Nothing else would explain him having surveillance photos of you from a decade ago. In the wake of Clyde's explanation, you can feel Aaron's eyes on you from your left, but you don't dare look at him. The rest of the team is taking his lead and not saying anything in response either, for fear they might say the wrong thing. Ultimately, it's John who speaks up. "She's eighteen there, practically a child. What exactly is the purpose of showing us this?" Clyde's eyes narrow as he realizes that this won't be quite as easy as anticipated. If he'd expected Aaron or the others to display any shock or revulsion at his revelation…well, he really didn't know your team that well, did he? "It sets the foundation," Clyde counters, his hand once more on the controller. "A pattern of behavior, indicative of less than honorable intentions, bad company, and plenty of opportunity." With that, he clicks a button on the remote, replacing the photo with another one. This one is of just you, exiting a building on Harvard's campus. You have to be in your second year – your hair is dyed because Matthew liked it better that way and you'd given in to his request. You're carrying books in your hand as you walk, hair whipping around in the wind. It's you, but it looks nothing like you. With a deep internal sigh, you sink in further into your chair. You had a better idea now of where this was going. "This was taken outside the Lowell Lecture Hall. You were seen entering and exiting the building the entirety of the Fall semester, right in time for the Math 55 lecture," Clyde announces, his eyes issuing a challenge at you to explain this away. Unfortunately for him, his jab doesn't quite land with the audience, as Rossi raises an eyebrow at him. "What does a Math class have anything to do with this?" However, instead of Clyde, it is Reid who answers him. "Harvard, oddly enough isn't known for its advanced math program but it is known for one particular class," Reid explains quickly, his eyes flitting over you with some curiosity. "When you're good at math - good enough to get into Harvard - you take a math class called "Math 15". When you're better than that you take "Math 25", but when you're the best, the absolute best, you take "Math 55": Honors Advanced Calculus and Linear Algebra. Graduates are immediately employed by the U.S. Government because they're too dangerous to work anywhere else. More specifically, they're employed at the NSA." Reid's spiel is met with mixed reactions. Rossi shifts back in his seat, hands crossed in front of him, an oddly smug look on his face. The rest of the team looks mildly surprised as they process what Reid had said. Aaron sits beside you, unshaken, and John of course had already known you had attended the class. Clyde clears his throat, shifting forward in his seat. "Thank you, Agent Reid," he says to Spencer in a clipped tone that has you bristling in reaction. "Doctor." He looks up at your interruption, brow quirked in question. "It's not Agent. It's Dr. Reid," you clarify, your lips pursed, jaw tight. "You took this class?" McKinney asks, finally breaking his silence since Clyde had begun. You swallow, meeting his eyes. He was still your mentor. What he thought about you, still mattered. You can feel the attitude you'd just given Clyde waning ever so slightly. "I audited it. For all anyone knows, I would've flunked out." "No, you wouldn't," McKinney replies quietly, his gaze appraising. His dark eyes holding all the knowledge on you that he'd amassed in the past year of being your closest supervisor within the Bureau. He has no doubts when it comes to your capabilities. "Why didn't you just enroll in it?" You shrug nonchalantly, the large crewneck shifting off your shoulders slightly as you do. "It's a large commitment. I didn't want to be beholden to every assignment. I already had a lot on my plate." It wasn't a lie. Not exactly anyways. McKinney looks like he doesn't quite believe you. You thrive with having too much to do. "Is that the only reason?" he digs, his eyes firmly on you, watching for anything, any sign. You let out a short breath of exasperation which you manage to disguise, deciding to just give them what they wanted. "I didn't exactly want to be on a list of people considered dangerous by the US government. I wouldn't have said yes to working for the NSA. I wanted to be a lawyer." Your eyes cut to John and he meets them, because you both know – you had wanted to be a lawyer because he was. It had been part of the plan. Your plan with him. Your justification is met with some more silence and you can tell, that for McKinney, the deck is slowly starting to stack against you. He now viewed you as intentionally deceptive regarding your abilities and usefulness to the government. As ex military, to him, that was on par with avoiding the draft. "Attending closed session classes that you weren't actually enrolled in wasn't the only thing you did in college. You also made quite a few friends, didn't you? You aren't exactly a stranger to relationships of convenience." As Clyde speaks, the screen changes once more behind him and a photo from the ill fated engagement shoot that Matthew's mother had insisted on pops up. Your hair is curled, you're wearing a long burgundy gown, standing beside Matthew in front of Lippman House, where the two of you had first met. You're smiling, both of you. On your hand sits an incredibly prominent ring, the stone shining brilliantly in the sunlight. This time, both John and Aaron tense, and your mind, unwanted, goes back to the video that he'd seen. There's a chance – if they'd caught what you said to Clyde's lackey towards the end. There's a chance that Aaron knows about Matthew. About what he'd done. You can't look at him. Instead, you look across to Derek, who's shifted forward in his chair, his fists tightly balled up on the table in front of him, his brow furrowed and body tense as he looks from the screen, to you, and then to Aaron beside you, before meeting your eyes again. He doesn't have to say it. The way his eyes go from Aaron and then you and back to Aaron, says it all. Fuck. "My personal relationships are not up for discussion," you assert slowly, the feeling of all eyes on you causing your skin to break out with goosebumps. "You don't get to decide what is and isn't relevant here," Clyde rebuts, venom in his voice. "Is this how things are done at Interpol? Because in polite society, we don't simply ambush people." John's tone might be light but his posture spoke to how much he was holding back in making just that small comment. You know, that if you gave the go ahead, he would obliterate Clyde. "Don't worry Mr. Hawthorne," Clyde smirks. "I'm certain over the course of this discussion, we will arrive at the matter of you as well. Pretty sure I saw some your face in the stack as well. Or, is your objection to the fact that you were never anything official – just used and tossed aside when it was convenient?" This bastard. The fury you feel at him talking to John in that way. For him to insinuate that he knew anything about you and John. For him to talk down to John like that. You open your mouth to tell him off, but before you can, you feel the dig of John's fingers at your thigh and you look up to see him shake his head. He knows that you wouldn't let something like that about him simply pass. He's telling you that he knows what you were, and that Clyde – well, Clyde could go fuck himself. John didn't want you tossing your cards down just for him. Hold on to them. You're going to need them. You press your lips together tight and bite your tongue, your hand reaching for his under the table, fingers intertwining with his. He squeezes your hand gently – once, twice, thrice – just how he used to, before letting go. Aaron watches the interaction between you and John, before turning his attention back to Easter, who waits for a beat more, trying to bait you into lashing out, before he moves on. The screen changes once more, to be replaced with a photograph of you with three boys. You're on what appears to be a yacht, the blue ocean spanning out endlessly behind you. You're seated on the shoulders of a tall man with short, dark hair and light brown skin, his hands wrapped around your thighs to hold you steady atop him. Your hair is back to its natural shade and it cascades past your shoulders, hitting the top of your bikini clad breasts, your white bathing suit stark against your sun-kissed skin. Beside the two of you, are two other men – one with darker hair, standing nearly as tall at the first while the other – a stocky blond – sits atop his shoulders. The four of you are grinning, smiles carefree and happy as can be. The kind of loose joy that is really only found amongst college students indulging in spring break a little too much. "You know, Clyde, just because you don't have friends of your own for show and tell, doesn't mean you can use mine." The smartass comment is out of your mouth before you could hold it back and you know you'll pay for it later as Clyde elects to ignore it in the moment. From your left you feel Aaron's eyes on you briefly before darting back to the front. Well, you were definitely going to pay for it in one way at least. "Patrick Kane," Easter's laser points to the stocky blond man, before the screen changes to reveal just a photo of him. "His father is part of the Irish mob and runs their international businesses out of Europe. He himself now owns leadership of the faction out of London." Kane was going to love that he had been part of your indictment with the Bureau. He was sure to get a particular kick out of it, considering the number of times he got in trouble because you and Ricky decided to burst into his classes and stage a kidnapping. But well, it was usually warranted. Impromptu trips to the Hamptons took precedence over Psych 101.

From the corner of your eye you can see Penelope appraising Kane with some interest and you have a feeling you're going to be talking to her about all the boys afterwards. The screen changes again to reveal Ambrose Hastings - Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome himself. However this time, the photo of him is shown only briefly before its replaced with another one that has your breath catching. Hastings is seated with you in his lap, your lips slotted against his, a large hand wrapped around your back, holding you close to him. "Ambrose Hastings and his father own the largest weapons contracts internationally, for those of you who many not know. Just friends, huh? " Clyde's taunt has your eyes flashing with rage. How on earth had he gotten this photograph?! You know for a fact that this wasn't posted anywhere. It's from the trip to Monte Carlo for your twenty first birthday. You're wearing the black dress with the deep slit up one side, a tiara sitting at the crown of your head. Ambrose's large hands splayed across your thigh and his lips keeping yours warm, as was your pattern anytime you and Matthew were on a break. John has come to the same realization as you. This is not a photograph that you or anyone in the group would've leaked. Which meant that Easter had acquired it himself. There's a grim set to his shoulders as the two of you exchange a look, before he speaks. "What did you do, pay off the waitstaff for that?" When Clyde doesn't say anything in response, you have your answer. He had. He had set up someone on the yacht to get anything they could on you. The feeling of revulsion that crawls through you at that realization – he had been watching you, even in spaces where you should have had the assumption of privacy. "This is a cheap ploy," John continues, now that he had the confirmation on exactly how far Easter had gone to gather his so-called evidence against you. "You think you can slander Agent L/N and make inappropriate digs to provoke Agent Hotchner. However all you've accomplished thus far is displaying your inappropriate invasion of privacy into the life of a young woman, which would normally be grounds for a harassment suit." The barely veiled threat is in John's words. If Clyde doesn't have anything real to share, and soon, he will bury him. Before Clyde has a chance to say anything more, there's a knock at the door, and Gladys peaks her head in to interrupt. "Excuse me," she starts, her hand against the door to hold it ajar ever so slightly, "There is a call from Director Richards." "See if I can return the call later today," McKinney tells her quickly, before turning back to the table to continue the discussion. "Actually sir, the call is for Agent L/N," she clarifies, her eyes meeting McKinney's firmly before shifting over to you. You can feel the sharpness of McKinney's gaze on you as he wonders why Richards is calling you directly. With a quick look around, you stand with a nod towards Gladys. "I'll take it outside, thank you." With that, you quickly walk around the table and out the door, following her to McKinney's office, where she's routed the call for you. In the wake of your departure, the room is quiet. John turns to Aaron, one eyebrow raised in question. "Director Richards, as in – ?" Aaron looks quickly towards McKinney, whose eyes are fixed on the door where you'd left, before he nods at John in confirmation. Director Richards, as in, the director of the CIA, had called and asked for you personally. *------------* You're gone for ten minutes which might as well have been an hour, for as long as it stretched out. Easter tried to engage McKinney into a side conversation twice, before giving up and sulking at the front. Prentiss and JJ's eyes flit from the door, to Easter, and then one another, the two of them engaged in a silent conversation he wasn't privy to. On his right, Aaron can see John and Garcia engaged in a hushed conversation as she types away at her laptop, seemingly looking up something for him. Aaron meets Rossi and Morgan's eyes, both of them carrying the same question that was in McKinney's stalwart gaze that had locked on the door you'd left through and not wavered in the ten minutes since. Why on earth was the director of the CIA calling you right now? How did he even know you? Despite your offer from the CIA, Aaron can hardly imagine that the Director himself would be involved, so even that kernel of knowledge that he has over the others doesn't offer any clarity in the moment. At just past ten minutes, you can be seen making your way back, quickly bypassing the two agents still standing guard, one of them opening the door to let you in. You're met with McKinney's pointed look as soon as you enter, demanding some sort of explanation. You clear your throat and offer a polite smile. "Both Agents Novak and Cavanaugh are recovering well," you reveal, standing demurely in front of Director McKinney, who eyes you with a guarded look, no doubt simmering at the notion of one of his peers deigning to circumvent him and go directly to one of his agents. "Director Richards asked that I pass on his gratitude for the Bureau's role in the rescue and recovery of his agents. He will be reaching out to you again, later, in order to thank you properly." McKinney nods slowly, giving you permission to return to your seat, despite knowing that that had hardly been everything Richards had spoken to you about. A thank you did not take ten minutes. A mere thank you, would not have gone to you directly. Not if you didn't have some sort of personal relationship with Richards that he wasn't privy to. There is a palpable shift in the room as you reclaim your seat, making a show of taking your time to settle back in properly, leaning forward to grab a bottle of water from the center of the table and then unhurriedly opening it, taking a delicate sip, closing it, and then setting it back on the table before shifting in your seat to where your elbow rests on the arm of the chair closest to Aaron. Your posture is slouched, where before you had been a stiff board. As you lean closer to him, deliberately tilting your head to appear that much more near him, Aaron gets a whiff of that smell that is undoubtedly you. You, without a proper shower, but still you. Yes, it is quite obvious that you and Director Richards had spoken far beyond a simple exchange of gratitude. The tides have changed. *------------* Easter attempts to continue as though nothing had transpired, resuming his position at the helm, the image of you and Hastings kissing – which Aaron had carefully avoided looking at for the past ten minutes, because far be it from to judge you on your past, no matter who it was with – replaced by one of the final boy. "Ricky Costello, part of the Costello family. Son of Frank Costello." Easter doesn't bother expanding further. There wasn't an agent on the eastern seaboard that wasn't familiar with the Costello family. So this was the kid who had punched van Doren in the face. Aaron liked this one. He liked him a fair amount more than Hastings, that was for sure. Across the way, he sees Rossi's eyebrows raise with some surprise, a glint of recognition in his eyes. He isn't entirely surprised by that. He'd always known that Rossi had ties with the Italian crime families. Easter clicks another button and a series of surveillance photos replaces Costello. They are all black and white, with the date on the corner indicating that they are all from last year. You're getting into your car, with Costello helping you in, the two of you smiling at one another. "Would you like to explain what you were doing, speaking with Ricky Costello last year? This was after you started working on Atlantis." You remain nonchalant, taking another sip of the hot chocolate that was bound to be cold by now, but you'd never deny yourself chocolate in any form. You casually smirk up at Easter's question, answering it only with a shrug. "Were you giving Costello information regarding Atlantis?" Easter probes, his frustration with your changed demeanor highly evident. He had preferred when you were at least somewhat taking this seriously. "Is a connection with the Costello family all it takes to accuse someone of treason nowadays?" you drawl, eyeing Easter from behind the rim of your mug, before leaning forward and setting it down on the table. "In that case, there might be some other people you want to have a talk with." Aaron is fully expecting you to be hinting at Rossi with that line, though why you'd throw him under the bus was a mystery. However, he watches as you stare resolutely ahead. Except, you aren't looking at Easter. You definitely aren't looking at Rossi. No, you're looking at McKinney. McKinney who, if Aaron isn't mistaken, looks just the slightest bit uncomfortable in the wake of your statement. McKinney who shifts in his chair ever so slightly, his eyes darting down and to the left imperceptibly quickly – something that might have gone unnoticed otherwise, but unfortunately for him, he happened to be seated in a room full of profilers. Huh. "Let's move on, shall we," McKinney instructs Easter, avoiding your eyes and everyone else's in the room. Easter's mouth falls open in disbelief at the turn of events. Your presence, which you'd kept buttoned up for the first half of this meeting, now permeated the room, and Aaron is reminded all over again of your interview. How he had initially sat back, waiting for you to stumble. How you'd gone one by one, getting to or through to each of them. How you'd called out even his bluff. You were commanding, charming, and serene all at once, and he'd marveled at how one person could possibly embody all those things at the same time. "You shot me!" Easter accuses, grasping for something, provoked by your calm attitude, and believing that to be his hole in one. The one thing that could not be denied. His one piece of evidence against you that couldn't be brushed aside, threatened away, or dismissed. "Yes, you got me there," you chuckle lightly, and Aaron almost feels bad for Easter. Almost. Across the way, Morgan has a smirk on his face that likely matches his own. You shift forward, placing your hands on the table in front of you, your eyes trained critically on Easter and Easter alone. "I shot you twice, actually. Once, two centimeters above the center of the heart and another to the left, one centimeter below the fifth rib. Both shots take advantage of the portions of the vest designed to be thickest and also are far enough away from any major arteries to avoid you bleeding out to death in the event that the vest isn't enough. Even if both shots had made it to their destination, you would have had at least thirty five to forty minutes, at minimum, before you were in any real danger of not recovering. If you don't believe me, I suggest you ask a doctor." With that, you lean back once more, giving both Easter and McKinney the opportunity to offer a response in opposition. After a few seconds, when neither one is forthcoming, you sit up straight once more. "Why were you dismissed from Project Olympus?" *------------* You watch, your eyes directly on Clyde as he falters under your gaze. You can tell that your question had caught McKinney by surprise as well. McKinney, who had looked at you differently ever since the call with Richards. You would have to thank the man later. His call could not have come at a more opportune time. With Clyde unable to answer the question, you decide to answer it for him. "Is it because you wasted resources and defied orders by continuing surveillance on me because you were convinced that I had something to do with my father's business?"

“How would you know that?” McKinney asks, though his eyes say that he already knows. He is merely confirming in order to have your answer on the record.

“Director Richards was on Olympus as well,” you answer. “He was highly surprised when he learned that Agent Easter was overseeing the investigation into the Atlantis disappearances.”

McKinney nods, having expected that, you’re sure. You already know he’s trying his best to piece together what little he could about your conversation with Richards. No doubt, it’s something he’ll question you about in more detail when it’s just the two of you later on.

You both turn back to Clyde expectantly, still waiting for him to chime in with an explanation. Director Richards’ word would be taken at face value and McKinney wouldn’t question it. Not for this. "Anyone who paid the slightest bit of attention – every single person on that assignment – they should've seen what I saw,” Clyde seethed, pushing up from the table and standing up, his body trembling with caged fury. “He took you along to meetings. He introduced you to his contacts. You were being initiated, tested. Of course I kept an eye on you! It would have been negligent not to." You shake your head in disbelief at exactly how unhinged he sounded. How incensed. This wasn’t a man who had proof. This was a man who had believed his theory for a long time, and was unwilling to part ways with it. "And what did you see?" you ask, crossing your arms across your chest. "I saw a girl who was making connections - with everyone. Sons of the mob, the mafia, and the cartels. Saudi princes and daughters of Russian tycoons. Up and coming Chinese heiresses. If there was a single person with even the slightest of pull on that campus, they knew your name. They considered you a friend. You're telling me that's the move of someone who wasn't establishing themselves to take over the reins?" "What can I say? I'm a friendly person."

It wasn’t clear to just you. It was clear to everyone that Clyde didn’t have proof. None to speak of. "If you'd spent even half as much time and effort into watching her father that you did into watching her, maybe you would have learned enough about him to know that he would have never made her his plant in the Bureau. A plant is someone dispensable. You don't put what is potentially your best asset in the hands of the enemy. Far too much danger of them turning," John declared, his face betraying how astonished he felt at Clyde’s obsession with you. Of all people, he’s had some experience in men who become unhealthily attached to you. It never ends well for them. "Not to mention the fact that you cannot possibly think very highly of me,” you continue from where John left off. “If you think my grand plan was to bide my time within a faction of the Bureau with minimal ties to core operations, wait four years to enter into a relationship with a Unit Chief, compared to whom, my clearance level is actually significantly higher,” you state, before turning to place a hand on Aaron’s arm. “No offense honey.”

Aaron barely conceals his amused snort at that, the smirk that had taken residence on his face ever since you flipped the tables on Easter, firmly in place. "That's true,” John agrees, and you can tell that he’s enjoying the return to your typical repartee that the two of you have always had. The one that most outsiders find intimidating to keep up with. “If you'd wanted to infiltrate the Bureau, that role in White Collar was much better suited.” "You’re right,” you nod. “And it would've taken me only a couple of months to get everything I need. Agent Barton would've been an easy mark. I'm just his type."

Aaron watches as Easter appears to regroup and the Director looks deep in thought as he works his way through the quick back and forth performance you and John had put forward. From the corner of his eye, he sees John lean in to you, hiding his mouth behind his hand as he whispers something into your ear. You lean back sharply, your face the picture of disbelief as you think through whatever it was that he’d said to you.

Clearing your throat, you nod towards Garcia. “Agent Garcia, could you please pull up the first case I ever logged? It would have been during the third month that I was a trainee.”

From the front of the room both McKinney and Easter’ brows furrow, along with the rest of theirs, wondering what you were getting at. It’s Morgan who voices what they were all thinking. “What does your first case logged have to do with this?”

Your eyes flit from Morgan to Easter, barely stopping at McKinney, before you wordlessly direct Garcia to proceed with pulling up the case. “My third month while I was a trainee, someone broke into my apartment. Nothing was taken, but I could tell that someone had been there, so I dusted for prints and logged it. I ran it against the system but it didn’t turn up with anything then. The thing is, trainees only have access to the domestic IAFIS database.”

At that, your eyes flash dangerously towards Easter and the implication of what you’re saying has Aaron’s hackles raised. Easter sits straighter, just the slightest bit tense as Garcia pulls up the case and then runs them against Easter’s fingerprints.

The blaring negative result for a match has your jaw tightening and Easter sporting a smug smile that Aaron truly can’t wait to have wiped off of his face forever.

You take a breath, knowing that running it against the entire system would take far too long. Eyes narrowed, you look towards Easter once more. “You don’t really like getting your hands dirty yourself, do you?” you muse, your voice low and contemplative as you appraise Easter’s reaction to your conjecture.

“Garcia, compare the prints against Eli Black, Harold Woodshire, and Stefan Dupont.”

Garcia starts to pull up the prints of the Interpol agents you’d provided, when McKinney jumps in. “Agent L/N, don’t you think you are perhaps being just a little paranoid?”

Garcia looks between you and McKinney, the two of you engaged in a standoff that he was unlikely to win.

“Run it,” you instruct, knowing that Garcia’s loyalty to you far outweighed anything that McKinney could say to her in that moment.

The entire room waits with bated breath as Garcia runs the prints against the names provided. It’s tense as Easter’s eyes flit nervously between the screen that Garcia had commandeered away from him, and both you and McKinney, still looking at one another, your gaze staunchly defiant.

The system blares, stopping at Eli Black – a 100% match. They all look to the screen and Aaron’s stomach clenches as they look at the face of the man who had beaten you and strapped you down in the video, his eyes just as pale and emotionless in his Interpol I.D. photograph as they’d been when he’d put his hands on you.

There’s a tight smile on your face, your eyes shifting away from McKinney’s without comment, fixed on Easter once more. “I didn’t actually go to law school, but we happen to have two lawyers in the room right now. Remind me,” you say, a quirk of your eyebrow in John’s direction, “what’s the fourth amendment, again?”

John has a dark smirk on his face as he realizes you’re finally giving him full permission to do whatever he wants to, and in that moment, Aaron can quite easily see how he had the highest conviction rate in the entire New York state D.A.’s office. “The Fourth Amendment strictly prohibits unreasonable searches and seizures,” he states, the forced calm of his voice just barely masking the thundering rage that was coming off of him in waves, his chest expanding as he sits at his full height, towering over the table.

“How much you want to bet, that wasn’t a sanctioned search?” you quip, mirroring his expression, your tone hinting that this wasn’t the first time the two of you had paired up to dress someone down in prime fashion.

“Easy enough to find out. All we’d have to do is pull up the logs on warrants,” John replies, his eyes locked on Easter, daring him to say or do anything to further paint himself into a corner.

There’s a beat while Clyde seems to process everything that had just happened. Absorb how the script had been flipped around on him. McKinney was looking at him with a great deal of concern and you know that Clyde can see it on the Director’s face as well – any credibility that Clyde might have had with him was quickly dissipating. The combination of that video and everything that had come forward, along with the lack of concrete proof and now this, had McKinney finally arriving at a decision regarding the validity of Clyde’s accusation. "Then why?” Clyde asks, sounding as though he couldn’t quite believe anything that had transpired. “Why would someone of your pedigree and connections ever deign to be a federal agent?”

You close your eyes for a moment, having put together the final piece that had always plagued you. You don’t have to guess at whether or not you’re right. You know you are.

“Because you knew. People like you, knew. You knew that he murdered Julian and you chose to look the other way. Pinning him for killing some kid didn’t matter to you. Not when you could potentially be the people to bring down him and his empire. Why settle? Because you knew, and the second he decided to turn on me, you’d let him get away with that too. Because I refused to be yet another casualty of my father’s greed.”

You can feel the tears glistening in your eyes and you’re quick to blink them away while Aaron finds your hand on the table and grasps it firmly in his, his thumb caressing your palm comfortingly. He hadn't known that you'd truly feared this level of retaliation from your father, and your desperation to get onto the team takes on a new layer of meaning for him.

You clear your throat before continuing, taking stock of every single person seated around that table that was here because of you. JJ, smiling at you kindly while throwing her dirtiest looks at Clyde. Spencer, who had chimed in repeatedly and who you knew was about to pester you about Math 55’s coursework endlessly afterwards – after all, there had been a reason you’d never told him about it. Rossi, smugly claiming you as his own, his gaze proud as can be. Penelope, who was still wordlessly apologizing for bringing up that video earlier, and who you knew was going to ruin those guys’ lives because of what they had done to you. Emily, who was glaring daggers at Clyde and likely planning out the various ways she could torture him right back. Derek, who would have your back in any situation, any circumstance, no matter what. Aaron, whose hand was warm against yours and who had let you handle this yourself because that was your guys’ agreement. At work, you were your own person and he would allow you to navigate and deal with everything by yourself, until you asked for his help. Aaron, who would go out of his way to do anything for you at home, who would go to the ends of the earth to make sure you were alright.

“Because, you’ve seen what this team does in order to protect our own. Joining them ensured that I couldn’t just disappear.”

*------------* There’s a long silence, during which all you’re really aware of is the seconds hand on the clock ticking away. Clyde isn’t looking at anyone. McKinney is switching between looking at you and Clyde both and you can feel him assessing everything said and shown. Weighing the proof or lack thereof. Thinking through the implications of Richards offering up the information on Clyde’s dismissal to you personally.

Beside you, Aaron has shifted and dragged your hand back with his, placing both in his lap so he can hold onto yours tighter. You can’t help but feel your heart tremble ever so much as his thumb drags itself back and forth over your palm, paying extra special attention to the deep indentations that have been left over the past couple of days, and especially the past half hour.

When you’d said that this team protects its own, what you’d really meant was Aaron. Of course the rest of them would protect you too, in a heartbeat. But Aaron protects differently. He does what needs to be done. Not what you ask him to do. Maybe at the time, you’d resented him for lying about Emily’s death. Over time, you’ve come to realize that he had done whatever needed to be done to make sure that she would be safe. He’d known the team would hate him for it and he’d done it anyways, because who cared if you were upset with him or not talking to him as long as it also meant that Emily was safe and alive.

To your other side, John has shifted so he’s leaning closer to you, his elbow on the arm of your chair, and you know that he – out of them all – had known how truly afraid you’d been in New York. How you’d lived in constant fear of your father finding out what you and him were doing and turning the full brunt of his fury towards you. You wouldn’t have survived that. Not then.

After a few more minutes, McKinney stands, and you know he’s arrived at a decision. “There remains the matter of the actual mole,” he states, bypassing any discussion on anything you or Clyde had said. With that one statement, he was declaring your innocence while electing to ignore everything else. You shouldn’t have expected any different from him. For him, all that mattered was ensuring the sanctity of the Bureau.

You squeeze Aaron’s hand before your hand away, back to the table, and with a nod at McKinney, turn to Clyde. “Where’s my locket?”

However, instead of Clyde, it’s Aaron who answers you. “I have it.”

You turn back towards him and watch as he shifts to bring out the chain and pendant from the inside pocket of his jacket and set it on the table in front of you gently.

Why Aaron had the locket instead of Clyde, was something you’d have to ask him later. For the time being, you focused on answering the Director’s question.

“When I was with Jansen, he revealed some details regarding the mole which were enough for me to create a preliminary profile,” you divulge, reaching and picking up the locket. “Rossi, can I see your wallet?”

Rossi gives you an odd look, but leans into his pants pocket and retrieves the wallet, tossing it to you from across the table.

You flip it open and search though, looking for the thick metal card, while everyone’s eyes are on you. When you find what you’re looking for, you fish it out.

“I just need to double check a couple of details, but if I’m not mistaken, I think I know who in the Bureau is the mole,” you say, as you latch the metal card into the bottom two prongs of the pendant, and with some leverage from the table, manage to flip them open.

Aaron looks at you and you mutter a quick Sorry, honey to him, before sliding the stone out of the setting to reveal a black memory card behind it.

Everyone watches as the memory card is taken out of the base of the pendant, having sat there behind the deep emerald stone, unbeknownst to them all. You slide it over to Garcia, who eagerly takes it off your hand.

“When we started looking at everyone on the project team for Atlantis,” you start again while Garcia is working on getting the information in the chip loaded to her computer, “we tracked financial statements primarily, to see who was receiving or had funds available to them which they shouldn’t. Additionally, I did an assessment of assets – mostly real estate and artwork – as that is often used to hide illegal assets. Most people checked out, others had some assets that were questionable but nothing that rose to the threshold that we were using for our assessment. However, during my conversation with Jansen, he told me that the mole in the Bureau was effective because he didn’t take monetary payment.”

“What kind of payment does he take?” McKinney asks curiously, now leaning in across the table. He’d seemed mildly taken aback when you’d broken the pendant to take out the microchip you’d hidden, and now that you were being forthcoming about your suspicions, seemed more than willing to listen to what you had to say.

Clyde sat sulking at the front.

You clear your throat, a grimace taking form as you recall your conversation with Jansen. “Apparently, little girls make for compelling payment.”

JJ has a sharp inhale and Garcia momentarily stops typing as your words sink in.

“Once Agent Garcia is able to fully read in the data, we can reassess the real estate holdings. We’ll be looking for property which could be used to easily conceal the presence of children.”

When Jansen had told you how his plant was paid, you’d had the bone chilling realization that your late night excursions over a month and a half ago had not been a mere coincidence. What you’d feared had come to fruition. The smell of smoke still lingers in your brain.

“Who do you think it is?” Rossi asks as you toss his wallet back to him.

“Alexander Pierce. He’s the only one that fits the profile of a child molester.”

McKinney appears beyond shocked. Pierce was at the level directly below him. He’s the favorite to take the reins of the entire Bureau in the upcoming decade. They’ve worked together for years and are at least friendly. Yet, he doesn’t question you. He doesn’t tell you that you might be wrong. Instead, he turns resolutely towards Rossi.

“Dave, due to the changed circumstances, I ask that you oversee the investigation and if warranted, subsequent arrest of Agent Pierce.”

Rossi nods, so McKinney continues as he sweeps up his files from the table and stands, buttoning his jacket as he does, effectively drawing your indictment to a close.

“Agent Easter, I will be speaking with the Interpol Director regarding your actions and composure on this assignment. I believe the three of us will have much to discuss together. Agent L/N, you have the entirety of the BAU, with Agent Rossi, to assist you in closing this out. Ideally, the two of us will sit down on Monday and discuss your role in all of this as well, beginning with the disclosure of classified information to outside parties without requisite clearance.”

You sigh internally, squeezing Aaron’s hand once more as he opens his mouth to likely speak up against McKinney still trying to read you the riot act. You’d expected as much. He wasn’t the type to let that slide – especially not with you rubbing his nose in Richards calling you directly.

"Yes sir," you nod.

Having said all he had to say, all of you watch as McKinney takes his leave with a sweep of the room, the door shutting behind him.

*------------*

In McKinney’s wake, everyone looks at Easter, who appears incredibly uncomfortable and looked to be assessing whether or not he was meant to stay. He seemed to have reached a conclusion, as he stands and makes his way towards the door.

“You know,” you speak up as Easter approaches the door, and Aaron watches as you break the man down with your gaze alone. “For someone who thinks I’m capable of any number of atrocious things, you sure didn’t seem to have a problem with pissing me off.”

Your words are said with a casual overtone as you remain seated, the perfect air of ease about you, designed to draw a rise out of Easter, who had one hand on the doorknob, having turned around at the sound of your voice.

At your words, he scoffs. “What is that supposed to be? A threat?” He raises an eyebrow at you and tilts back into his quietly assured self.

Your lips purse ever so slightly and your eyes flash, before your mouth widens into a smile. The kind of smile that would have grown men running for the hills. “No. That wasn’t a threat,” you clarify, shifting to sit up straight once again. “This is. You come near me or mine again, and you will find out exactly how much I learned from my father.”

Easter looks like he’s ready to dismiss your threats, rolling his eyes and turning around.

“Передай от меня привет Даниэлю.”

He turns sharply, his face paling at whatever you’d said to him. His eyes search yours for any doubt, any hesitation. He appears to have seen the staunch truth in them, as he only swallows, his Adam’s apple protruding, and if Aaron wasn’t mistaken there was a slight tremor in his hand as he once again opens the door, and this time, manages to exit the room.

You close your eyes, your shoulder slumping, a deep sigh workings its way through your body. When you open them, all eyes are on you.

“Pen, once the files are available, you’ll want to start with Pierce’s properties in the countryside,” you instruct softly. “Anderson is already watching him,” your eyes cut to Aaron and he realizes who that phone call you’d made earlier had been to. You had asked Anderson to go and watch Pierce while you dealt with Easter and McKinney, knowing you needed to reestablish your credibility with the Director before you could make any accusations of your own.

Garcia nods and the rest of them remain silent as you turn to Rossi. “Can I have twenty minutes?” you ask, the fullness of your voice hinting at just how exhausted you must be.

At Rossi’s nod, you push up from the table, and with a squeeze to John’s shoulder, make your way out of the room with Aaron at your heels. He knew to go with you. You didn’t have to ask. Not with him.

*------------*

As the team watches you and Hotch leave, Morgan turns to Emily, eyebrow raised. “That was Russian, wasn’t it?”

She nods, however Hawthorne also agrees with a quiet Yes.

At that, her eyebrows raised at him in some surprise. He was a New York State District Attorney. Language skills weren’t exactly a part of the job description. “You know Russian,” she asks, the lilt in her voice hinting at her surprise.

He chuckles, a smirk on his face as he looks up at her with those ocean blue eyes, amusement dancing in them. “Who do you think taught her?” All at once, Emily can entirely see how you and him had once worked so very well together. It had been clear since the moment they'd entered the room, Hawthorne wrapping you up in his arms. There was a quiet electricity to your interactions with him – a palpable connection which easily transcended everything else. There was a casual ease to your demeanor with Hawthorne that you and Hotch rarely allowed yourselves while at work, and Emily has to once again admire how well Hotch had maintained himself throughout the entirety of the meeting. He'd allowed you and Hawthorne the lead in retaliation against Clyde, knowing that drawing any additional attention to you and him wouldn't help your case. He'd bided his time, biting back any number of choice words he must've had for Clyde, letting you take the reins on it all, because it was your meeting, your case, your indictment. Anything she might have believed about Hotch when it came to him being controlling and overbearing had fallen apart, having witnessed exactly how well he took a backseat when it was important for you that he do so.

“So what did she say to Easter,” Rossi asks, drawing both of their attention away from one another.

Emily takes it upon herself, even though she had no idea what your words had actually meant. “Say hello to Daniel for me.”

“Who’s Daniel?” Morgan asks, his brow crinkling, gaze fixed on where you’d sat next to Hawthorne.

They both shrug.

“So um,” Garcia starts, shifting everyone’s attention to her as she looks hesitantly between Rossi and Morgan, who raises his appraising look at her next, compelling her to just spit it out.

“When John and I were looking into that other location – the one that burned down with the triple homicide – I saw that the same night, three kids were left outside the Philadelphia precinct. All three were young girls around eight to ten years old and they said they were being held somewhere by bad men.”

At Emily’s prompting, she continues, “The thing is, when asked how they got away, the kids said that they heard some fighting and then some lady came and got them and dropped them off near the police station. All of their descriptions of the person who saved them...they match Y/N.”

There’s a stunned silence before Morgan decides to speak up. “Baby girl, are you saying she took down three guys all by herself, snuck those kids out, and then burned the entire place down without leaving a single strand of DNA or anything else behind?”

Garcia shrugs, an uncertain expression on her face. However, they can all tell that that is exactly what she believes happened. “If anyone could…,” she trails off as they all look at one another before turning to face Rossi.

Rossi sighs, his face torn for a momentarily, before arriving at a decision. “Well, like you said, the Philadelphia police already called it a case of gang violence and shut it down. I don't suppose it is our place to go and create problems where none exist."

At his words, Emily meets Morgan and Hawthorne’s eyes, realizing that perhaps out of everyone in the world outside of herself, Hotch, and Morgan, Hawthorne was the one most likely to understand that you could and would do exactly that, and get away with it.

*------------*

You make your way down the stairs with Aaron at your side. You just needed twenty minutes. Twenty minutes. That was it. Aaron knows not to say anything. You don’t want to talk. Not then.

You make your way down to the locker rooms before you turn and speak. “You mentioned you’d brought my other bag.”

“Yeah, it’s in my locker,” he confirms, watching you with apprehensive, yet loving eyes.

There was no one else in the locker rooms owing to the lateness of the hour. With a quick look around, you begin to take off your shoes, undoing the buckles on the boots and toeing them off, before sliding the pants off of your hips and then quickly removing the sweatshirt along with the rest of your clothing.

Aaron is quick to shuck off his own clothes as you walk into the shower and turn it all the way to the left. He can already see the steam rising off of your skin when he slips in behind you, picking up the shampoo bottle from the ledge in the corner and dumping some out into his hands.

The hot water felt like baptism by fire, but it was the only thing helping you feel clean, as two days worth of dirt and grime slid off of you and swirled its way down the drain. You can feel Aaron behind you as his bare chest rubs against your back when he leans for the shampoo and then works it into suds in your hair, allowing you to simply be.

The slip and slide of his hands, as he takes soap and scrubs against your skin. His large hands gliding against your shoulders and back, down your legs, making sure to get every inch of you clean. You let him. You can feel the exhaustion seeping through you as your mind slips into a fog, leaving you aware only of the heat of the steam, the water, and him.

Once Aaron has ensured that you’re as clean as can be, he shifts so you’re fully under the stream, the last of the shampoo leaving your hair. That’s when you finally feel the weight in the pit of your stomach turn to lead.

You allow that steel trap to open ever so slightly as you lean back against him. The fact that he'd had to see you go through that, had to find out from a video of you being tortured, that you'd been pregnant and lost the baby. It was far too much for him to have gone through on his own. Your heart breaks at the thought of him sitting with the rest of them and watching that. Having them all find out at the same time as him, when he should've been the first and only one to know.

Your tears mingle with the water from the shower, your shoulders shake and your body quakes and slumps, held up by his arms alone, holding you tight across your chest and waist, tight to him as the sobs wrack your body. You can feel his lips against your shoulder as he dips his head down to slot his face against yours. He’s hard and warm and all around you, the only thing standing between you and total collapse.

*------------*

The two of you had gotten dressed slowly, taking far longer than the twenty minutes you’d asked Rossi for. Your eyes are red rimmed and glassy still, your hair falling to your shoulders in damp tendrils as you grasp his hand and the two of you make your way back upstairs using the elevators.

“There’s a chance McKinney still fires me,” you mumble, leaned against him and the back of the Elevator wall both to hold yourself up.

Aaron shakes his head, looking down at you with his warm brown eyes. “He isn’t going to fire you,” he insists, despite not fully believing it himself. He too had caught what McKinney had said to you prior to his departure.

You aren’t appeased by his words, but he hadn’t expected you to be. The elevator continues to climb back up the floors slowly. Right before it reaches its destination, you worm your way away from him and hit the emergency stop button, halting the elevator and plunging it into darkness.

“What’re you doing?” he asks, feeling his way around the elevator until he finds you again.

“If I’m getting fired on Monday,” you whisper, leaning up so your mouth is right against his ear, drawing a shiver through his entire body, “then there’s something I’ve always wanted to do.”

With that, your lips find his, insistent and soft, begging his open with your tongue running along the seam of his mouth. With a moan, he gives in, hands finding your waist and pulling you up further against him. He can feel the smile in your mouth, mixed with everything else – the fear and fury, the regret and pain undercutting everything else.

If this is what you wanted before you were potentially fired – then well, of course he’d give it to you.

*------------*

By the time the two of you make it back to the conference room, the team is well situated, with Rossi and Morgan engaged in conversation while the rest of them crowd around Garcia. John was in the corner, just getting off of a phone call and Reid had managed to find some pretzels it seemed like – or he merely always had them on him – because he was munching away, leading to Aaron becoming incredibly aware that none of them had eaten since that sandwich the day prior. Hell, he wasn’t sure when the last time you’d eaten at all. His eyes must’ve lingered on the pretzels for a while too long, because JJ had leaned into her bag and lobbed a package of chips towards him.

Aware of your return now, the team turns to you and Aaron, with John being the one to break the silence with a soft smile. “Mom says hi” he says quietly, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

Aaron can see the flash of guilt in your eyes. "I'll call her," you promise. When you'd left John, he hadn't been the only one you'd left.

He smiles and nods. "She'd like that."

With a glance around, and with no one else saying anything else, he continues, his smile morphing into a wicked grin. "So, you and Hastings, huh?" His voice teasing in that manner that only truly good old friends can get away with.

"Matthew and I were on a break," you clarify primly, shoving at his arm. His grin remains unchanged, causing your eyes to narrow, before a realization seems to hit you as you groan and slump back into your chair. “Don’t tell me you and Julian had a bet on that too,” you grumble, though Aaron can tell you aren’t really annoyed. You’re merely playing along.

“I won, if you must know,” John grins wider. “Seeing as you’re his next of kin, you owe me twenty.”

You scoff. “This better be written down somewhere. I’m not signing off twenty thousand to you just because you said so.”

Behind John, Aaron can see Morgan and Garcia’s jaws drop as they realize that twenty dollar bets were not the norm in your circles. You played for much higher stakes. Always had.

“Oh you’ll get your proof,” John winks at Prentiss, hinting at some sort of inside joke between the two of them while you and him both settle in, you stealing some chips from the bag in his hands, before swiping the bag entirely with a sweet smile that he was in no condition to refuse, ever.

“Hey,” Prentiss asks, drawing your attention away from John, “who’s Daniel?”

Aaron watches as your face turns dark ever so slightly, your eyes hardening as you meet Prentiss’s gaze, and Aaron realizes that the quietly enunciated Danielyu that he’d caught when you’d spoken to Easter in Russian had meant something more.

“Mr. Have-No-Attachments has a son,” you tell her, your jaw tight.

They’re all quiet as your revelation sinks in. You’d brought up Easter’s son while –

“You threatened his kid?” JJ asks, slight surprise on her face as she looks at you, her eyes flashing with the concern that they all always had. Their children being dragged into danger because of their line of work.

“He threatened mine.” Your retort is quick and to the point and if Aaron was being honest, he really really didn’t care that you’d threatened a child at this moment, because you were right. He had threatened yours.

When no one says anything further, you nod at Rossi and then turn to Garcia. “Let’s get to work.”

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #hotch #hotch x reader #hotch x you #aaron hotch x reader #Criminal Minds #spencer reid #irreverentseries #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x y/n

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atruththatyoudeny · 4 years

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Monthly Reads | October 2020

Happy 28th! I probably sound like a broken record already but I have to say it again: this fandom has an insane amount of talented writers! I am in awe! Every single one of you is my hero! ♥♥♥ Here are all the 23 fics I read and loved this month:

✧ Welcome to The Rivalry | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - enemies to lovers - rivalry - college - 19k “Welcome home!” Niall yelled, clapping his hands in excitement. “Isn’t it great?” Louis looked between Niall and the house, unsure how to respond. “I don’t understand,” Louis finally managed to say. “Aren’t we a little old to be living so close to campus?” Niall scoffed. “You’re only twenty-four for fuck’s sake. There is still plenty of partying left for us to do. What better place than one street over from where a car was set on fire after the Michigan game last year?” “Is there proof of that? Did the car have Michigan plates or something? Is there a photo I can send in a DM to Wolfie?” As if on cue, a Twitter notification popped up on Louis’ Apple watch. He had tweeted again. Or a reverse You’ve Got Mail au inspired by the Ohio State/Michigan rivalry. Featuring duplex neighbors, (kind of) enemies to lovers, and an anonymous Twitter feud between omega Louis and alpha Harry.

✧ Back to Seventeen | crimsontheory | teacher - soccer coach - 26k As a first grade teacher in a small town in Illinois, Harry’s life is pretty simple. He loves his job, is close with his family, and has a best friend he would go to the ends of the earth for. When a new soccer coach starts at the local high school, things start to get a bit more exciting for Harry. Because that coach just happens to be Louis Tomlinson; the guy Harry was unrequitedly in love with in high school. Or the one where Louis moves back to his hometown and Harry realizes he’s still not over his high school crush.

✧ Sigh for Sigh | logogram | historical - a/b/o - regency - miscommunication - pining - marriage of convenience - 11k When his father's sudden illness forces Harry to get married in a hurry, he's delighted that Lord Louis Tomlinson is the one who makes him an offer. Being married to Louis is just as wonderful as he imagined, except for one thing-- they haven't mated yet. Or the one where they're both idiots, Harry's afraid to say what he's thinking, and Louis's just trying to be honorable.

✧ We Can Find a Place to Feel Good | yeah_alright | 1960s - High School - school dances - 8k 14-year-old Harry is ecstatic to finally be old enough to experience the time-honored tradition of school dances. But with each year that passes and each dance he attends, he’s realizing they’re not all he used to hope they’d be. Especially when he can't actually dance with the person he most wants to. Maybe he and Louis can figure out their own ways to keep dancing, anyway.

✧ At Risk, I Fold | clare328 | canon compliant - established relationship - angst - emotional hurt/comfort - miscommunication - anxiety - implied/referenced alcohol abuse - 15k 2015 is a stream of hotel rooms and whisky on the rocks, tired glances and touching hands under tables. It’s the bears and the bees under a rainbow sky, and Harry and Louis have to figure out how to grow up together, instead of apart.

✧ Carry These Feelings | LadyLondonderry | fae Á faires - established relationship - magic - 3k Harry is one of the fae, and has to return to Court once a year to please the Queen. He makes a detour on his way home to Louis. Two weeks and I'll be home.

✧ Hung Up High in the Gallery | lovelarry10 | friends to lovers - slow burn - pining - 14k "Louis, lay still!” Louis sighed loudly, and Harry watched his chest puff out as he inhaled deeply, the breath he let out loudly making Harry’s curls shift. “I am, stop being so fussy. Can I see yet?” “Nope,” Harry remarked, smiling to himself. “I’m doing your chest next. Shit, this is going to look so good, Lou. Your tan and these colours… why haven’t we done this before?” “Because we haven’t been this drunk in a while, and it never occurred to me until tonight?” ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ When Harry’s best friend, Louis, comes to support him at his art show, he decides they need to do some celebrating afterwards. How fast do the lines between friends and lovers get blurred ... or better, get painted?

✧ Love you in the dark | Perzikje | historical - wedding night - arranged marriage - dubious consent - 10k The story of a historical wedding night: in which Louis is quite unaware as to just how clueless his brand new husband is about sex. They try their best to figure it out together.

✧ Victorian Boy | audreyhheart | historical - victorian - royalty - enemies to friends to lovers - slow burn - angst - murder mystery - 101k Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.

✧ the anticipation of knowing you | sweetrevenge | strangers to lovers - neighbors - light angst - 13k Hello Neighbor! Just wanted to let you know that you were having sex so loud and scarily I called our building manager and security officer because I thought you were hurt. P.S. I sent them away when I heard you yell ‘cock’. I’m sorry that I heard that, but I wanted you to know in case they stopped by to check on you or something. Sorry! Your neighbor Louis Tomlinson in apartment #306 After Louis overhears his next door neighbor having sex, he doesn’t really expect anything but awkward hallway encounters to come from it. Instead, he’s surprised to find himself in a whirlwind pen pal relationship with the sweet, albeit loud, baker next door.

✧ We'll Be All Right | dandelionfairies | married couple - accridents - 13k Harry is performing his one night only show in LA but there are four very important people missing.

✧ The Last Song of Your Life | reminiscingintherain | famous/not famous - Rays of Sunhsine - homophobia - 21k As Harry glanced around at all of the faces, he froze as a very familiar pair of blue eyes leapt out at him. A pair of eyes that he hadn’t seen since before the One Direction bomb exploded. A pair of eyes that he never expected to see again. ~~~~ or the famous/not famous AU, with first love, miscommunication, interfering bandmates, and adorable little sisters.

✧ Her | jaerie | a/b/o - trans character - transitioning - dysphoria - anxiety - quarantine - 7k The buttery swipe of a high quality lipstick was almost a sexual experience in and of itself. This time a deep colour with purple undertones which drew out the emphasis of long, dark lashes and perfectly contoured cheekbones. It was a look for loose and styled curls, feeling the classy formal nightclub vibes reflected back from the mirror. The silky plum coloured slip dress would be perfect to debut. The tags still needed to be cut free from the new garment that hung in the closet, but tonight was the night to set it free. When Harry gets home, she can finally be who she wants to be. Letting someone else in always feels like a distant daydream to her... until it suddently isn't.

✧ Loving You's the Antidote | lululawrence | Stylinshaw - a/b/o - touch deprivation - hospitalization - soulmates - polyamory - anxiety - friends to lovers - no smut - 11k Nick and Harry had never been an obvious match. When eighteen-year-old Harry, newly presented as an omega, came home freshly bonded to Nick, a man nine years his elder and a beta no less, Anne had been more than skeptical and Eileen had shared some harsh words of her own. That didn’t deter them, though, and their families soon realised there really was something special about the bondmates that allowed them to work together almost seamlessly. It was only a few months later that Harry started getting sick. Or the one where Harry and Nick have been able to keep Harry's disorder at bay over the course of their relationship, but when they move to London and away from their support system, they find themselves in desperate need of help.

✧ Like A Neon Sign | reminiscingintherain | canon compliant - mentions of death - fluff - 8k Harry had always been perfect to Louis, through every age, through every stage, and in all the important ways, he was proud to have been able to witness the growth that Harry had experienced first-hand.

✧ We Had Everything | lightswoodmagic (sarah_writes) | exes to lovers - getting back together - famous/not famous - 3k “You know Harry’s coming, yeah?” Louis’ fingers twitched, faltering where he was straightening the knot in his tie as he tried to ignore the false nonchalance in Zayn’s voice. He had no idea how he missed the name on the invite list, how he skipped over the initials on the small gifts, didn’t notice the elegant swirl of Harry’s name inked onto an emerald green place card. Or, Louis and Harry fell apart, and Louis' never forgiven himself. He gets a second chance at Zayn and Liam's wedding.

✧ True To Your Heart | reminiscingintherain | Mulan AU - a/b/o - 13k The world was at war with itself. In the small country of Enilenif, in a tiny, often overlooked corner of the world, young Alphas were quickly signing up to fight, desperate to protect their Omegas and their country as Aidem began to attack their borders. A few defiant Omegas tried to enlist as well, but were firmly turned away with disapproving looks by the staff in the office. Harry Styles was one such Omega, sighing heavily as he kicked at a small stone on his walk home.

✧ What the Water Gave Me | larryatendoftheday | fantasy - mermaids - long distance relationship - 29k When a mermaid crawls out of the sea to listen to Harry sing, it changes everything.

✧ it’s hard for me to go home | localopa | angst - breakup - getting back together - 5k don’t call me baby again

✧ The Prince and the Thief | jaerie | Fairy Tale - a/b/o - strangers to lovers - violence - kidnapping - threats of rape/non-con - 19k Harry is an omega prince locked in a tower and Louis is the thief sent to kidnap him. Nothing turns out as planned.

✧ Up On The Shore | wordsnnotes | Eroda AU - magic - epistolary - friends to lovers - childhood friends - emotional/psychological abuse - angst - long-distance relationship - domestic violence - 34k Magic has been outlawed on Eroda ever since President Cowell came into power, and all the magic people had to go live on the island of Stonell. Things are not looking good for Harry when he finds out he's a magician and his abilities seem more and more out of control. Thankfully, his best friend Niall's mother has the idea to put him in touch with Louis, a magician boy living on Stonell. They begin a secret correspondence and drama ensues. Or: Louis hides his feelings under sarcasm, Harry is too sweet for his own sake, everyone is a rebel, the mums are amazing, Harry's dad is a jerk, and I'm struggling to make it understandable without using normal narration.

✧ this town's just an ocean now | louistomlinsons | exes to lovers - friends to lovers - summer romance - miscommunication - childhood friends - light angst - fluff - 31k “I have really great friends. Do you remember Louis? You guys were always hanging out when you were growing up.” Harry remembers Louis. Harry remembers Louis. Suddenly, his throat feels way too dry, despite the ice cream he keeps licking at. He chokes a little on a chocolate chip before saying, “I, uh. I remember Louis.” Her face brightens. “We have dinner every Sunday. He owns the house now. His parents moved further north, and he wanted to stay here, so they just gave it over. Now if you want to worry about someone being lonely, that’s who I worry about.” inspired by watermelon sugar, featuring picnics on the beach and boys being dumb

✧ I Am the Blinking Light | dearmrsawyer | ghosts - shipwreck - 19k There is a legend of a lighthouse far out to sea. It can’t be found on any map, and those who do find it never return. They say a ghost haunts the lighthouse, and you can hear it calling out in loneliness on the ocean waves.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #my fic rec #monthly reads #completed fics #larry fics

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doing-all-write · 4 years

Text

don’t be a baby part 2

Pairing: Billy x Fem!Reader

Summary: After losing Billy, Reader doesn’t know what to do with herself. After receiving some news about a millionaire who’s been murdering people, she convinces Billy’s old Sky Walker crew to train her so she can take him down. But the mission doesn’t go as planned and suddenly, there’s a man offering her a position on an elite team...

Read part 1 HERE

Word Count: 14K

Warnings: Swearing, blood, fight sequences, needles, mentions of smut and talk of depression.

A/N: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY AND HERE IT IS!!! Part two of don’t be a baby!! Thank you all so so much for your patience, I wanted to be sure this story was perfect and I hope all love it! Once again, a HUGE thank you to @itsabenthing who is always a wonderful source of inspiration and helps to keep me on track and to @mrhoemazzello for hyping me up at all times and for letting me bounce ideas off her!! And don’t worry...there will be a third part 😉

💖💖As always, likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! 💖💖

365 days.

That's not a long time.

A year on Neptune is the equivalent of 164 years on Earth. Bowhead whales can live up to 200 years. The Methuselah tree is 4,700 years old.

365 days is nothing.

What's one lousy year in the grand scheme of things?

Compared to one day.

24 hours to have your whole world ripped out from underneath you. To believe that up is down and down is up. To feel your feet leave the earth as you pitch forward into a tunnel where time passes both far too quickly and not quickly enough.

One 30 second phone call can feel like the longest thing in the world.

To some, 365 days may not feel all that long, but to others?

365 days is far too long.

~One Month After the Funeral~

“(Y/N)? It’s me. You doing okay?” Mark winced when he realized how dumb that question was.

Setting the bags of food down on the kitchen table, he opened the fridge. His heart clenched when he saw the food he had put there a week ago sitting untouched.

It had been the worst right after the funeral. When he came over on the days following the funeral she would be in the same clothes he had last seen her in, staring at the wall or ceiling. On good days her cheeks would be dry, on bad days? The tears would soak her pillow case.

He had nicked Mary, Billy’s sister’s, number from (Y/N)’s phone. Figuring that Mary may have some professional resources she could recommend to get (Y/N) the help she desperately needed to pick herself back up.

After a few weeks of her catatonic state, she started moving more. But it was almost worse. She was like a zombie.

He’d tell her maybe she should shower or eat and in slow robotic movements she’d do what he asked, then crawl back into bed. Eyes empty. Flat.

The passivity broke his heart.

There hadn’t been a time when Mark and (Y/N) had been growing up when she wasn’t passionate about something. When that familiar light in her eyes had burned bright.

Without it, it felt like looking at a mannequin of his sister.

Sighing, he loaded the new food into her fridge. Taking the old stuff out he figured, if it wasn’t moldy, he could feed it to Jean, who was like a human garbage disposal. He claimed grief made him starving.

As Mark stood up, he faced the bedroom door and felt his shoulders slump forward. He knew what was waiting for him on the other side and he didn’t want to see it. He knew he was a coward but part of him just wanted to walk out the front door and pretend that his sister was on the other side, totally fine, she was just sleeping and he’d come back next week and she’d greet him with a smile and a hug.

Something he hadn’t seen in, well, in a month.

Feeling his shoulders creep up towards his ears as he stood outside her bedroom door, he made a conscious effort to relax them.

“Hey, (Y/N), you awake?”

Nudging the door open, he peered into her room, taking stock of it. It looked exactly the same as last time he had checked on her. The soft rise and fall of her side underneath her blanket the only movement. Taking a moment to capture how serene she looked, he quietly closed the door behind him, taking a minute to send up a plea that he would do anything, anything, for his sister if it just meant that one day he’d see her up and out of her bed.

A buzzing by her ear woke her up. Groaning, she slapped her hand around the bed, trying in vain to stay semi-unconscious. The buzzing came faster, one right after the other, reminding her of how her phone had acted the day Billy’d died. Heart dropping through the floorboards, her eyes flew open.

Sitting up and shoving the blankets back in one quick motion only caused her to hear a loud thud. Cursing, she crawled over to the edge, allowing her top half to go limp as her bottom half stayed put on her bed.

Pushing her hair back with one hand she turned her phone over to see what was happening. News alert after news alert was scrolling in. They all said the same thing,

Local Billionaire Accused of Dumping Toxic Waste in Ocean.

Her eyebrows knitted together as she read the remainder of the story. There was something tugging at her subconscious as she read. This billionaire, Chase Casewell, had a reputation for being a real prick and after using his family's money to get through business school and have his first idea fail (an app that told Influencers when the best time to post would be) he had made his millions by starting a brand that specialized in shoes, ugly beige monstrosities if she remembered correctly.

It had just come out that he had instructed the plants that made his shoes to dump the waste into the ocean. The chemicals they’d used had poisoned the water supply, causing the fish to become infected with the chemicals. Then, the local fisherman would catch the fish, take them home to their families, eat them, then the fishermen and their families would end up in the hospital.

Her hospital.

She sat bolt upright as she remembered the string of mysterious illnesses that had ended up in her ward a few weeks before she had met Billy that first time. If the victims were lucky, they ended up puking their guts out for a few days and, after being hooked up to an IV to re-hydrate, she’d send them on their way.

Others would linger for a few days then quietly slip away. The chemicals flowing through their bloodstream till their veins ran thick with poison, where it finally creeped up to their heart where the poisons would wrap themselves around their most vital organ. Suffocating it until it gave out entirely.

The one that had affected her the most was Isabella, a small girl with dark braids and a love of Frozen. The only thing that’d make her smile was when (Y/N) would come in with a stuffed Olaf and have him ask her for a warm hug. She had been holding this little girl's hand, watching Frozen when her heart just...gave out.

She had gone to the funeral but shame and guilt burned bright inside till she felt like there was a beacon surrounding her, letting everyone at the funeral know it was her fault that Isabella had passed away.

As the pieces clicked together in her mind she felt an inferno roar to life inside her. It burned away the sadness and despair she’d been wallowing in ever since Billy left only to leave behind rage and guilt. The emotions boiled in her stomach, bile climbing up her throat as she stumbled to the bathroom

Collapsing over the toilet, heaving and retching, she knew nothing was coming up but her body worked overtime to expunge the horror she felt in any way it could. Her body spasming as waves of emotions crashed through her system.

Several minutes passed till she finally felt the nausea start to ebb. Slumping against the wall, she hung her head over the toilet as she took steadying breaths, making sure that her body wasn’t going to rebel again.

When she lifted her head, she had made a decision.

"Alrigh', alrigh' I'm coming. Quite your bloody knocking you crazy-"

Jean's rant was cut short when he saw (Y/N) on the other side of the door decked out in black athletic gear, hair pulled back in a tight braid. Jean's eyes widened as he made contact with her own eyes. A fire could get started with the steely glint that was reflected back at him.

"I need you to train me."

"T-train you?" Jean's hands were instantly coated in sweat as he contemplated what she was talking about.

"Yes. Like how you trained Billy and Mark. Train me to be a Sky Walker. I can do this."

Jean rubbed a hand down his face, "(Y/N)...it's late. Maybe we should sleep on this-"

"NO." That one word leapt from her throat in a growl, causing Jean to step back, half shutting the door. Slamming her hand against the door she switched tactics, "Please Jean. There's this prick who's dumping toxic waste into the ocean. So many people were sick and at my hospital because of him." Swallowing thickly, her eyes grew unfocused, "They died...under my watch."

Jean's shoulders slumped at that admission. With Billy’s death overshadowing everything, he forgot that in her line of work she saw more sickness and death than even he had seen.

But this was the first time since the funeral that he had seen her up and moving. It was the first time that her eyes held any sort of emotion. He couldn’t bear to be the one that extinguished it. He couldn’t do that to her. Or to Mark.

Heaving a sigh he flung his hands up, "Fine. We start in the morning,” Her eyes widened and a small smile crept across her face as she stepped forward into his apartment until he held a hand out to stop her, “Now let me go back to sleep so I don't pass out on you mid training session and we both die."

~Three Months After the Funeral~

Are you ready for it?

The bass thumped through her headphones, as her fists made contact with the punching bag in front of her in time to the beat. Staying light on her toes, she bounded back and forth, jabbing, punching, upper cutting, swaying in and out as she danced around the bag.

She had been here for hours. The 24-hour gym had cleared out earlier, now it was just her and other people who couldn't sleep or worked weird hours.

As the last line of the song faded she put her hands on her hips, pacing over to her backpack.

Rooting through it, she located her water bottle, taking long pulls from it as her heart beat slowed down.

Boxing had been one of the only things that was able to take her mind off of, well, everything.

That and running. Everyone and their mother had told her to try yoga after they’d heard what happened, telling her it would help to "quiet her mind" but the more time she spent sitting still, the more she could feel Billy's hand slipping from hers as he walked out of her apartment for the last time.

She gave it up when a panic attack had taken over her system in downward dog.

Activities that let her be alone, that let her get her aggression out, were the most beneficial.

Plus, it helped with the Sky Walker training she’d been receiving from Mark and Jean.

After she’d shown up at Jean’s door that night, she arrived on his doorstep bright and early the next morning, knowing that she’d have to knock extra loud to make sure Jean actually woke up. Which is why it shocked her that before she could even knock on the door, Jean had swung it open to reveal him and Mark standing in front of her, looking for all the world like two parents ready to scold their child for staying out past curfew.

Smirking she shrugged, “Sorry I missed curfew.”

Mark’s mouth twitched and she knew that, with him at least, she was off the hook.

They had sat her down, gone over basic safety information, how they practiced moves on the ground first so they could get comfortable executing them and then took them up into the air.

Mark’s heart broke at how alert and interested she was. It was the first time in months he saw her engage with others and it killed him that this was what it was taking to bring her back from the brink.

Ever since then, she had been training with them to prepare for this mission, to learn the necessary skills she’d need to break in, to keep herself alive. She had convinced Mark and Jean that the plan she had for Chase was a one-woman job. She told them that if she couldn’t pick up on everything in six months then she would let one of them help her on this mission.

But she knew she wouldn’t need their help. When Mark and Jean taught her how to fight, how to dodge opponents, how to protect herself in a fight, her Nurse Brain kicked into high gear.

When they’d break down certain tricks she was able to picture the exact muscles, ligaments and bones that would need to be strengthened, how they would need to move to be able to complete the move perfectly.

She was even able to break down fight sequences just from observing her opponents moves. Looking at how certain muscles tensed, what foot they’d lead with, how their fist was turned, it all helped her get the upper hand in any fight.

Knowing pressure points and which joints were the weakest were an added benefit during these training sessions.

(After she almost dislocated Jean’s knee, he had limped away, bellowing about how she needed to seriously remember who the enemy was and it “bloody well isn’t me! I like the ocean! I’ve never even been to Sea World, that’s how much I like the ocean!”

All of it added up to her progressing in her training more rapidly than Mark or Jean felt comfortable with.

They couldn’t help being impressed though. She was mastering moves that had taken them years to nail down. But she took to it with a single-minded determinism that worried them, especially Jean.

Training was all (Y/N) cared or wanted to talk about. Mark told him that she’d started working out at all hours. Lifting, running and boxing being the newest activity she had added to her repertoire and while he felt it was a smart move, he couldn’t help but be worried. Every time she was training, he’d seen a fatalistic look in her eyes. It was a look he was all too familiar with, it was a common look in Sky Walkers. But those individuals were always the highest risk cases.

Those were the Sky Walkers who didn't value their own safety. They kept pushing and pushing until mortality pushed back and said, You want to keep going? Fine. You pushed too far and now I'm going to punish you.

The worst part was, in his experience, there was no use trying to tell those individuals to slow down. They inevitably sped up to spite the person who told them to slow down. Jean didn't want Mark to lose his sister too.

After a particularly intense training session, he hesitantly brought it up to Mark who only snorted,

"I already lost her."

"What do you mean?"

Mark shot him an incredulous stare, "You're kidding right? You've seen how much she's changed since Billy left. That's not my sister. I still hope like hell (Y/N)'s underneath this new exterior but...I don't know who this new woman is. And frankly, I don’t want to know who she is.”

She hadn’t told Mark but she’d heard him say that. She knew she wasn’t the same woman but this was the one thing in her life that had made her feel alive since the funeral. She didn’t want to give it up.

They’re just going to have to get used to it. She thought as she unwrapped the bright pink wraps from her hands. Rooting through her backpack, she made sure she had everything. Slinging her bag over her shoulders, she queued up her running playlist.

Striding toward the front door she gave the obligatory head nod to all the members still in the facility.

Shoving the door open, the wind that had buffeted the building all night slapped her in the face. Eyes tearing up, she adjusted the straps of her backpack, hit play and started to jog back to her apartment.

Demons!

Come on!

You've got a vision,

You're on a mission!

~~~

He almost missed her.

The all black clothing she had taken to wearing, combined with how the last vestiges of red in the sky were quickly being overrun by the inky black of the night sky made him worried she’d left without him realizing.

Seeing the door open, light spilling out and illuminating her form, he breathed a sigh of relief. Watching her jog off into the night, he leapt up from his crouched position on the building next door to the gym.

Giving (Y/N) a head start, he waited a few beats before taking off after her. Keeping her in his sight but sticking close to the shadows. Every time he saw a form approaching her, he put on a fresh burst of speed; anxiety spiking through his blood at the prospect of her getting in harm's way helping him to power through. After they passed without incident, he breathed a sigh of relief.

He had done this for a few nights now.

One had told him they wouldn't head out to HQ for a while, something about needing to wrap things up but he didn't question it. It gave him time to check on her.

Recently, he was getting nervous that she had started to...he hated sounding like a hippie but...she had started to sense his presence.

Like their souls burned too brightly together so the universe made it so they would never be lost in the dark as long as they were near each other’s light.

A few weeks ago, he had been following her to her apartment after she left Mark and Jean's. He had been wearing all black, a few feet away, on the roof of a building far above her.

She had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, tilted her head up and stared right where Billy had been standing. He’d dropped like a rock to the concrete floor of the roof, trying to stifle his breathing, which after almost passing out, realized would be insane if she could hear that.

There had been several other times where there was no possible way (Y/N) should have been able to tell where he was and yet...

She'd look up, right in the direction of where he was and every time, he sent out a plea, See me. Please. Know that I'm here. That I love you. That I never wanted to leave you. Just, please.

Please don't think I broke my promise.

~Seven Months After the Funeral~

She thought the knuckles on her hand were going to pop out of her skin.

Clenching the steering wheel, she chastised herself for making this process so exceedingly difficult.

Just let go of the wheel. She scolded herself, Release your finger. Just the pinky finger. It won't be too hard. C'mon, don't be a-

She cut that thought off quickly.

Too many memories weighed down four little words and if she wasn't careful, they would drag her into the inky blackness of depression. She couldn't risk it. Not with a mission coming up.

The breath leaving her mouth shuddered out of her like the wind through an old house. Her chest felt too tight, like each breath made her lungs smaller, not bigger.

This isn't how he'd want to see you.

Like a flash of lightning, the thought illuminated everything and for a second, the world was crystal clear. Her fingers slipped from the wheel only to land dully in her lap, where they curled in on themselves so they looked like dead bugs.

Snorting, she figured it would be appropriate they looked like dead bugs considering she was in a cemetery.

Sun shining down, the sky a cloudless blue, made it impossible to not think of his eyes and how they had looked at her in the full light of day. That one day they’d had together.

Those perfect 24 hours.

Funny how time constricts and bends so some events pass in the blink of an eye while others pass by like a train at a train crossing when you're running late to work.

Shaking her head, she bowed her head and closed her eyes. The darkness was a welcome reprieve. But not always.

Sleep had become the bogey man at the end of her bed. Sleeping wasn't a relaxing activity, it was prey she had to stalk and take down before it could get her. It wasn't that there were so many nightmares plaguing her, it was just one nightmare.

It was horrible enough that most nights, she didn't even fully fall asleep, it was more like a deep meditative state. The thought that that one nightmare could overwhelm her was enough to make her not want to sleep ever again. The first time the nightmare came to her was a week after his funeral:

Fog would be swirling around her, swallowing up everything in her path. Taking hesitant steps forward, Billy's form would become clearer as she moved forward. Her heart beat speeding up as she saw Billy peering over the edge of the building.

Suddenly, realization would crash into her like a train. This wasn't just any building. This was the building that Billy had last been seen running across. Knowing that there was nothing on the other side, she would rush forward to warn him, to pull him back, to crush his body to hers and never let him go.

She needed to warn him, to save him. But no matter how fast she pumped her legs, Billy stayed the same distance away. His legs would tense and that's when she'd start screaming. Her vocal cords stretched to their breaking point as she rushed towards him. But before she could reach him, he'd leap into the air, disappear into the fog and...

That's when she'd wake up. Face wet with tears, the last of her screams dying in her throat.

She always screamed the same thing.

Billy! Stay!

The first few times she hadn't realized she was actually screaming those words aloud until a neighbor of hers knocked on her door, asking her if she was okay.

She never knew how to answer that question.

It was such an odd one. Mark and Jean asked her that all the time. Whenever they did, she'd grit her teeth and spit out that she was fine because how else was she supposed to answer that question?

"Actually Mark, Jean, I'm so glad you asked because I'm not okay and I probably never will be again because the only man I ever loved and trusted, up and broke said trust! Oh, and did I also mention he's dead?"

That's how she wanted to answer their asinine question but by the time she felt like she could get those words out, most people had moved on from Billy. Because people always do.

But not her.

Though, it hadn't taken long for her to want to sleep with someone else. She figured it would help her heal.

At the very least provide a necessary distraction.

It was always the same.

Normally, they'd lock eyes across the bar. Raising her glass of scotch she got every time she went to the same bar with the sticky floors, burnt out bulbs and rickety chairs, she'd lift it towards him in a kind of salute. When he'd smirk back and do the same, she'd quirk an eyebrow only to throw back the drink in one go. The thud of glass on wood signaling to the bartender to pour her another.

Nine times out of ten, their eyes would immediately become hooded with lust (every now and again, one would take a drink at the same time and choke on his own drink at the action.) A smirk would play across his lips as he'd bring his own glass to his lips and drain it in one go.

Men. God forbid a woman out do them in anything. She always thought ruefully as she'd watch her next victim unfold themselves from the bar stool they were seated on to slip into the empty seat next to her.

There were rules. She refused to sleep with blondes. She had one time. She had moaned out Billy's name and immediately started crying. When the man with her had tried to comfort her she had pushed him away, screaming at him to get out of her apartment.

The other rule was, no sleepovers. Having men sleep over usually meant they overstayed their welcome and she didn't want them getting comfortable anymore than she wanted to spend the night in a bed that wasn't hers.

Once the rules had been established, it was the same shit with a slightly different dude. They'd engage in flirty banter, a well-timed arm touch, a glance up at him through her lashes, one more drink and then they'd be in the back of a Lyft, hands everywhere, and then a few hours later she'd be back in a Lyft (one time, the same Lyft driver who had dropped them off had picked her up, alone, offering a hive five as she got out of the car) to go back to her apartment.

Alone.

Most nights she wondered why she did it. Why she was constantly hunting for that same jolt of electricity that she’d had with Billy. Every time her encounters ended, she always wondered what the point of doing this was. Why did she bother when every man she interacted with came up hilariously short?

She had tried to make it work, to forget him, but the entire time some man would be kissing her, caressing her, touching her, there was always a part of her that was thinking of another man's tattooed, calloused hands on her body.

A rap on the window caused her to jump, clenching her hands back into fists as Mark waved, sheepishly, at her from the other side of the glass. The flowers grasped in his fist swayed in the breeze.

Stepping out of her car, Mark moved to hug her. Holding out her hand to stop him she growled, "I'm already on edge. Don't make it worse." Striding around him and towards the plot of land where the box that Billy was supposed to be in laid dormant under the soil.

A place holder.

Nothing more.

Mark's shoulders sank as he watched her go. Physical contact had been difficult for her since Billy had gone. It was small, but he noticed. Every time he pulled her into a hug when she showed up at training, she'd stiffen, then it turned into her barely reciprocating until she refused them altogether. It made his heart ache, she used to hug everyone no matter if they had known each forever or four minutes.

But then again, she'd just become more withdrawn in general. It broke his heart to see it. Watching her light fade and dim, it was like a star becoming a black hole.

Crunching through the sun dried grass toward the plot, she kept her head down, barreling towards her destination. Figuring that if she walked faster, she could outpace her thoughts before they could catch up with her and the realization of where she was and where she was headed could crush her.

This was the first time they were visiting Billy's grave since she’d started training to become a Sky Walker. Mark and Jean had tried to get her to go sooner but it hadn't been until Mary asked (Y/N) if she would meet her there did she finally acquiesce.

The only memory she had of Mary was after the funeral. Watching Mary and her mother walk arm in arm back to their car, their shared grief following them like a cloud.

At that moment, (Y/N) had envied them. They had each other. Their shared love for Billy would be a balm, it would help them try to heal. She only had herself and her memories. Neither of which were particularly warm or comforting at the moment.

"Whoa, easy." Two hands wrapped around her biceps, bringing her to an abrupt stop.

Looking up, she was met with the same sky blue eyes that Billy had, framed by lashes that were almost as long as Billy's. Blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, Mary smiled ruefully at her, "Just trying to get this over with huh?"

Forcing herself to swallow over the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, she nodded wordlessly. Mary's eyes took in her form, noting how her clothes seemed to hang on her, the dull, flinty look her eyes had. Mutely, she linked her arm through (Y/N)'s, pulling her into her side.

Taking a deep breath, they both turned to look at the headstone in front of them. Seeing his name carved into stone caused her heart to speed up. Scolding herself for being so silly for getting twitter-patted over his name. What was she, fourteen?

But she couldn't help it.

"It's weird."

Humming in acknowledgment, (Y/N) didn't know if Mary meant them being here together, the fact that her brother was dead or just the world in general.

"It's weird that that little line," Mary gestured toward the line in between the numbers that marked when he had been born and when he died, "is supposed to represent his whole life. Everything he said and did. Everyone he loved."

The emotional toll of hearing those words uttered by his sister caused all of the air in (Y/N)'s lungs to leave, her heart to splinter into even tinier parts. Wobbling, she grasped Mary's arm tightly as Mary wound another arm around (Y/N)'s waist to keep her upright.

“(Y/N!) Easy, you okay?"

The weight of Mark's hand on her shoulder helped ground her in reality. Her twisted reality where it wasn't Billy's hand on her shoulder. And it never would be again.

Straightening up, she tugged on the end of her coat, shaking her head, "Yeah. Yes. I'm fine. Just, it's a lot."

Mark nodded, eyes taking in his sisters appearance, trying not to seem too shocked that this was the most she had revealed her feelings to him, to anyone, in the past few weeks.

Locking eyes with Mary's blue ones over top of (Y/N)'s head, he mouthed a quick thank you in which she inclined her head to show she understood.

Mark had been in contact with Mary constantly. First it was getting names of counselors and support groups to help his sister heal, then it turned into them talking and developing a...something. They had developed a relationship that neither were sure what to call but seeing her here caused his heart to flutter.

Feeling (Y/N)’s shoulders rise and fall, he lifted his arm so she could step out from underneath them, "I'll see you guys later."

Opening his mouth, Mark tried to protest but when he felt Mary's hand land on his bicep, he closed it. (Y/N)'s all black form grew to be a small speck on the blue horizon.

He was surprised the whole ground didn't open up to swallow her at that moment. She looked like a specter of death. But he supposed what she really was was worse. She was a casualty of death, and there was no hope for that.

~Nine Months After the Funeral~

A few months of intense training later, after she had executed one of the most difficult tricks Jean and Mark had designed, Jean finally told her she was ready to go after Chase.

"Fucking finally." she groaned, wiping the sweat from her face with the bottom of her shirt, “I’m going to rinse off and change, then meet me at my apartment!” she yelled over her shoulder as she raced to the locker room.

Jean nodded and several minutes later, hair still damp, raised a fist to knock on her front door. Before he could knock, the door swung open to reveal her laptop open and her kitchen table covered with charts, maps and blueprints of Chase’s compound.

“What took you so long?”

Jean whistled as he took it all in, "When did you do this?"

"When I first read that news article about Chase. So..here's what I'm thinking." Laying out her plan, Jean couldn't help feeling impressed. It was foolproof. He was also relieved that all she wanted was to bring Chase to justice, share his personal files with the government and the entire Internet so she could expose him then get the hell out of there.

As she laid out the plan she was careful not to mention how much Chase needed to pay for all the lives he took with his negligence and selfishness. She kept emotion out of her tone, just the facts, as she walked Jean through her plan to bring Chase to justice.

But she knew justice wouldn’t be enough.

Justice was never enough for people like that. Because the rules of justice were skewed so men like that always got off scot free. In her heart of hearts, she knew it didn’t matter if she leaked every atrocious thing he’d ever done. He'd be back out in the public eye in a few years and no one would bat an eyelash because he had money, power and privilege. The three most essential ingredients to make any good villain.

She wouldn't be able to live with herself if this man was able to walk away. If she didn't do right by Isabella, she didn't know how she'd be able to continue living with herself.

"From there, I'll get the files, download them to the flash drive, hack into the mainframe, deposit them there and then get the hell out. Minimal damage, minimal casualties, maximum impact."

"That's how most people describe having sex with me."

"I don't have time to unpack how distressing all of that is right now but, what do you think? Is it doable? And will you and Mark help me?"

Jean's eyes scanned the blueprints before him. He saw how her fingers were beating an erratic beat on her thighs, how her feet constantly shifted as if she wanted to take off in a million directions at once. This was the most animated he'd seen her in weeks. He knew this may be their only chance to really get her settled, let her burn off some steam with a mission and then they could get her back to her old self.

Heaving a giant sigh, he hung his head down, "Fucking fine. We'll do it. BUT," his head snapped up and almost felt bad when he saw the smile that had slipped across her face fade. Almost. "You listen to us. Mark and I have final say in all of this. Got it? We've done this before and while you'll be the one in the field, we have markedly more experience so let us do what we do best. Got it?"

He stuck out his hand for her to shake. Her (Y/E/C) eyes flitted over his features, seeing if he'd break or if he was just pulling her leg. When she saw nothing but sincerity looking back at her, she slipped her hand into his. "Deal."

Jean almost started crying when a sparkle caught his eye, her thumb had a final bit of pink sparkly nail polish on it, making him wonder if he had made a terrible mistake.

~A Week Later~

"I'm in."

Part of her always cringed whenever she said those two words. She couldn't help but think of a shaggy haired, pre-pubescent 12-year old, huddled over their laptop, fingers clacking frantically, the glow of their computer screen the only thing illuminating the Mountain Dew bottles surrounding them.

But, it just came with the job she supposed.

Creeping along the hall, she checked over her shoulder. Feeling the familiar flutter of adrenaline spike in her stomach, she reached for the package that was hidden in her pocket. As her fingers brushed over its cylindrical shape she felt her shoulders relax. Then, she moved her hand down further to make sure the knife she’d strapped to her thigh was still firmly in place, that really helped her to relax.

She quickly sent up a thank you to Cassandra, wherever she was, for leaving her knife sharpening kit at Mark’s place. The linoleum underneath her feet reflected the dim red light that ran along the length of the hallway.

"In 20 feet you're going to reach the checkpoint. Remember, there's a big ass-"

"Grid of invisible wires, yeah yeah. I know, Jean. We went over this a million times."

"Well, with how little you pay attention during those meetings I'm surprised you can even remember the address."

"How about you shut the fuck up and let me do my damn job?" she snarled into her comms.

Blocks away, Jean ripped his headset off to shake his head at Mark who just sighed, eyes never leaving the computer screen where his sisters grainy form was seen lurking towards the wire netting, "I know, dude. I know."

"Fucking Billy. If only he hadn't-"

"Jean. Please. We all still wish he was here. Don't make it harder."

Huffing out a breath, Jean turned back to the keyboard, shoving his headphones back into place as he deactivated the alarms to the rooms (Y/N) needed to get in to.

Throwing a strand of her hair into the hallway, she nodded when it settled to the floor without getting zapped.

"You really don't trust me, do you (Y/N)?

"I trust you, I just don't trust the security protocols in this place. A fortress like this has to have backups of the backups."

"Bitch! That's why we're here!"

Snorting at how high Jean's tone had gotten, she continued prowling toward the door that led into Chase’s inner sanctum. He didn't let anyone but a select few into the room that was waiting for her at the end of the hallway. It was where he kept all of his documents, where he entertained foreign emissaries and got them to sign off on him dumping his toxic waste in the water because who cared about people's health when he could make a few more dollars?

Shaking her head to straighten her brain out, she took a deep breath as she tread closer to the intimidating mahogany door that loomed before her.

Glancing down, she saw the pad to the left of the door, they needed a retinal scan to get in. She waited as from miles away, Mark's hands were flying over the keyboard as he worked his magic. Using a close up image of Chase's eye they had captured a few weeks ago, he embedded it into the code for the lock. When it lit up green she smirked, "Thanks, big brother."

"Don't thank me yet. Expose that fucking loser and come home safely. Then we can talk."

Nudging the door open, she made a beeline for the imposing white desk in front of the picture window looking out over, ironically, the ocean. Rolling her eyes, she briskly walked over to his computer. Fingers gliding over the keys, fishing around in the pocket of her black athletic leggings, she cursed, "Why the FUCK do women's pockets always have to be so small."

"It's just another way for the patriarchy to keep you down. Hard on, sister."

Pausing in her actions, she raised her eyes up, fixing on a distant point as she opened and closed her mouth, ready to correct Jean when Mark's voice rang through her comms, "He's got the right spirit. Just let him have this."

Shrugging, she bent down to the task at hand, inserting the USB, opening up files and dumping them onto the Internet and sending them to the entire UN Embassy, every government official, Greenpeace and the whole world to condemn this monster.

As she finished uploading the last of Chase’s files to the EPA’s mainframe, she heard footsteps approaching.

And right on time.

"Uhh, (Y/N)? Don't mean to alarm you but Chase himself and four armed guards are barreling down on you. Get out the window NOW and meet at the rendezvous point."

Hearing how Mark's voice shook on the last word caused her to pause for a fraction of a second, wondering if she was making the right choice. Like a flash, she shook herself from her stupor and straightened up. Pulling the USB out of the computer she dropped it into her pocket, reaching a finger up to disconnect her comms, "I know. I planned for it. Sorry boys. I’ll see you on the other side" She clicked her comms off just as she heard Jean and Mark start to protest.

Closing her eyes, she rolled her shoulders. Reaching back into her pocket she took out the extra package she’d been carrying and set it on the desk.

Carefully, she extracted the vile and needle that was inside.

When the door burst open, all Chase saw was a woman, silhouetted by moonlight, holding a needle up to the light, tapping it a few times.

"Nice of you to join me, Chase. Won't you sit down?" she murmured.

"Who the fuck are you, you crazy bitch? I have the entire government on my ass, PETA has threatened with more than one lawsuit and the FBI, EPA and other three letter entities aren't far behind to pick me up and haul me off for the rest of my life. So," he stepped to the edge of the desk, slamming his palms down, "I'll ask one more time. Who.The. FUCK. Are. You?"

Watching the last air bubble pop, she smiled. She had never felt so calm in her life and when her eyes dragged from the needle to meet Chase’s, he was surprised to see a serene looking woman staring back at him.

"You killed people. So now I'm going to kill you."

And she lunged forward.

Her hand came down holding the needle, aiming for the largest artery in his neck. Eyes widening, he stumbled back, arms pinwheeling. Knocking the needle from her hand, she watched it twist through the air, the moon reflecting off the glass and then she lost it as it hit the plush carpet without a sound.

She didn't have too much time to think about it because all of a sudden the four men that had come in with Chase were on her.

Leaping onto the desk, she wrapped her thighs around the neck of the man closest to her. Thanking Mark for bullying her into never skipping leg day, she squeezed her legs around his neck as he spun wildly, trying to dislodge her. Hands scrambling at her thighs, he dropped to his knees where she unwound her legs from his shoulders, dropping to the ground and turning in one swift motion, she kneed him in the face, turning to the next man as the one on the floor tried in vain to stop the fountain of blood flowing from his nose.

Another one was right on her as she aimed a punch right to his midsection, hearing an “OOF” leave his mouth, she kicked his legs out from underneath him. As he landed, she raced in between his legs, located his kneecap and with a twist of her wrist, dislocated it with a sharp POP.

With a howl, he rolled around on the ground as the one with the bloody nose limped over to help. Breathing heavily she turned, only to be faced with the other two bearing down on her.

Jesus, she thought, Star Wars always led me to believe the bad guys would come at me one at a time. Not all at once.

It was the last thought she remembered having before she could only focus on trying to make it out alive.

One of the men grabbed her arm, she grabbed his wrist, finding a pressure point and bore down until his fingers loosened around her wrist. Not letting up, she snapped his wrist and kicked him in the groin.

As he slumped to the ground, the other one grabbed her ankle, yanking her leg out from underneath her causing her to face plant into the carpet. Her hands scrabbled for anything to hold onto as he dragged her body towards him. Twisting, she reached for her knife. As he reached a hand down toward her throat, she brought it up in one quick motion.

She rolled away as the man screamed in agony as he searched for his missing finger. Scrambling to her feet, she felt something collide with the back of her head. Her vision began to swim as the carpet came up to meet her face once again. She’d forgotten about the first guard who had been attending to the second man she’d taken down. Now, he stood over her, teeth bared, blood still flowing from his nose, gun cocked and aimed right in between her eyes.

"Wait!"

Chase's form became clearer as he knelt down beside her, "You don't deserve to die by a bullet do you?" He cooed as he stroked a finger down her cheek. Turning her head, she tried to snap at his finger but the quick movement caused her to retch.

Laughing softly, she heard the tap of fingernails hitting a glass vile, "You deserve to die by your own little concoction. It’s much more poetic, don't you think?"

He leaned over her, bringing his mouth to her ear as he caressed her arm, rubbing two fingers over the crook of her elbow, "Like Romeo and Juliet but, darling Juliet" she hissed as he stabbed the needle into her arm, "This time, Romeo will live. And he'll win." He pressed the release and she felt a tear leak from her eye when suddenly, the world exploded.

Glass fell over her form like stars falling from the sky as the bright lights of a stealth helicopter illuminated the room. The man with the bloody nose whipped his gun toward the window, firing rapidly but quickly crumpled as someone strode right up to him, and shot him point blank.

Chase scrambled up, hands out in front of him, "What the fuck is this? Are you CIA? FBI? Listen, I have more money than God, I can set you up for the rest of your life. You'll never have to worry-"

A gunshot was the only answer Chase got.

"More than one person can have more money than God, ass-wipe." The figure kicked Chase's body as he walked past him, his form swimming before (Y/N) as the poison leaked into her blood stream, "And besides," he knelt down by her form, fingers searching for a pulse, "I use reusable straws because baby turtles are cute as fuck."

Her head lolled to the side as she used the last bits of her strength to see who her savior was. A man with a rugged face stared back as he moved to crouch behind her, cradling her head in his hands as he yelled to someone behind him to hurry the fuck up.

A second face looked down at her as she felt her eyelids begin to close, the hushed sounds of the man holding her head offering soothing platitudes as she made peace with the fact that she was about to die.

As the second person rifled through the medical bag they had been carrying, hurriedly pulling out instruments, the last thing she heard was the man whispering into her ear, "Come on darling. Hold on for me. Hold on for him."

~Three Days Later~

Bright.

That was her first thought as her eyelids fluttered open and immediately closed upon being assaulted by blinding white light.

For a wild second she thought she had gone to heaven.

"I know what you're thinking. Is this heaven? No. It's not. Because if this were heaven I'd be smoking a fat blunt, drinking the finest gin while lying on a nude beach where no living person could bother me. People like you."

The squeal of chair legs being dragged over the floor caused her to flinch. The voice that spoke was dry, making her wonder if this man ever took anything seriously. And also if he could read minds.

"Pretty good stunts you pulled out there. You learn that shit from watching Black Widow too many times?"

Silence. She tried to keep her breath steady so maybe he would think she was still asleep.

"Sweetheart, I just saw your eyelids crack open a second ago. There's no way in hell you dropped back off to sleep that quickly."

"Shouldn't I be dead?" It felt like her vocal cords were two pieces of sandpaper rubbing together. The sound that was expunged from her throat was a dry husk.

"Should be but, like Chase, I have more money than God and a crack team of experts. One of whom happens to know exactly what was in that vial and the antidote for it. You've been stable and asleep for three days now."

He saw her eyebrows twitch, which he figured was the most reaction he would get out of her.

Keeping her eyes closed made it easier to digest the information he was throwing at her and to keep her poker face in tact. The voice sounded familiar to her, but she couldn't place where or when, she’d heard it before.

"Is he-?"

"Dead? Yeah. A half dose of poison most people can come back from, but a bullet right through the skull? Much like Humpty Dumpty, we can't exactly put that back together again."

She felt her lips twitch and scolded herself for letting any emotion show through.

"He deserved it."

"I know. And you deserve to use your skills in a better way." Her body stilled, her breath stopped for a beat and when it resumed, the monologue continued, "I have...fuck I hate sounding like Samuel L. Jackson but I have a team. And we could use someone like you."

Another scraping sound, the soft rustle of fabric moving as the voice sounded like it was coming over her, "Think about it. And I'll contact you. Don't worry. I always keep my promises."

Her hands clenched, the veins popping out as those five words washed over her like a cold shower.

The clenched hands were all the reaction he needed.

Hearing his footsteps get softer she reached a hand down and felt a piece of cardstock brush against her finger tips. When the door closed, she cracked open an eyelid to look down at it, but it was blank.

~~~

Closing the door, One leaned up against the hallway, letting his head knock against the wall of the hospital.

Four had warned him.

But this made things incredibly interesting.

Or difficult. It all depended on how he wanted to view the situation.

And what she wanted.

After the funeral, One’d kept a close eye on Four. He knew what kind of pull love could have over a man. And Four was young. The youngest on the team in age, sure, but he let his feelings get the better of him a lot of the time which made him seem even younger.

Which could be dangerous. And they were already in way too much danger as it was on a daily basis so he needed to nip it in the bud.

Closing his eyes, he thought about the first time he caught Four.

~Two Months Ago~

It had been quiet.

The wind whistled through the various holes that littered the planes, causing sand to get whipped up along with it, tornadoes forming and quickly collapsing.

One had been awake. He rarely slept but he had been in the Case Room, going over some files. Trying to decide what their next mission needed to be when he heard a noise.

Keeping his body still, he strained his ears to see if he would hear it again. When he heard the floor creak, he crept to the door, peering out to see who or what it could possibly be.

Seeing the familiar shape of Four's hoodie, he rolled his eyes. When he saw him creep into the control room, he became suspicious. He knew how tempting the draw was to check on the ones you cared about. But with how emotionally fragile Four had been since he'd joined, he didn't think this was the best idea, but he needed to confirm that’s what he was doing before he blew up on the kid.

Pushing the door open, he walked down the hallway, being careful to tread lightly so as not to alert Four to his presence till he absolutely needed to.

Using his years of training, he placed his body precisely so he could look into the room but Four wouldn't be able to see him should he look around. Which, he didn't think would be an issue. Four was engrossed by the screen in front of him, One didn't think a nuclear explosion would cause him to look up.

Taking his chances, he slunk into the room. Four had footage of an apartment pulled up on the screens. Three people, two guys, one girl, standing around a table. Four had headphones on so One couldn't hear the audio but it looked like the individuals on screen were in the middle of an intense argument.

Nibbling his thumbnail, Four's eyes were laser focused on the woman as she gesticulated wildly. Blueprints, computer screens and maps littered every available surface of the apartment and One recognized the planning stages of a mission. He got a little closer and recognized the girl on screen as the same one who had been at Four's funeral.

Four had told him his background on the trip over to HQ. One figured the other two were the ones that were left over from his original Sky Walker crew.

(He’d roasted Four about that dumbass name for weeks afterward.)

Shaking his head, One heaved a sigh and reached forward to snatch the headphones off Four's head.

"HEY! Who the bloody hell-" Four's frame twisted up and out of the chair only to come to an immediate stop when he saw who had his headphones dangling from their fingertips.

"Didn't know The Bachelorette had a new season running! Are they in the hometown segment?"

Four blinked at him, "It's really distressing you know that much about The Bachelorette."

"What's really distressing is the fact that you're checking up on her. What the fuck do you think you're doing Four?"

"Look, I'm sorry but-"

"No. There are no buts here. Even if her butt is really nice, you gotta put it behind you dude. Especially her."

"I know that, One but-"

One had started pacing back and forth as he warmed to the topic before him, "Do you know how much money is on the line here? How much is at stake? Our lives, our very existence, this could all blow up at any point and we could die. For real. Or, even worse, the government comes in, blows up our spot and we get sentenced to death. Or worse, jail. And you yourself have such fond feelings of, what did you call them? The pigs?" One shot Four a disgruntled look at that statement, noting how Four's hands were clenching and unclenching in an attempt to stay cool.

"Look, One, I just-"

Rounding on him, pointing a finger in his face One roared, "No, Four, you just. You clearly don't want to be part of this team. Clearly I made a mistake in asking you to be part of this if you can't get over the little school girl crush you have on this girl you slept with once and she sucked your dick so well that you mistook it for love-"

His air supply was cut off as Four slammed One up against the wall. The tattoos decorating his hand popped against his skin as he gripped One’s windpipe in a steel trap. For the first time since bringing Four onto the team, One was truly afraid of him and understood why he was so good at what he did.

The look in Four's eyes cowed One immediately as Four growled out the next few sentences, "You listen up right here, right now you fucking prick," Slamming his head back into the wall One saw stars, "Her name is (Y/N) and she is worth more than any person on this damn planet. She's the best person I’ve ever been with and I’m damn lucky she even deigned to give me the time of day. She’s the reason I even joined this bloody insane operation, so show some fucking respect or I'll have no problem slitting your throat and moving on with my life."

One's vision was getting black around the edges as he frantically nodded his head at Four’s words. Four let him go where he collapsed to the floor on hands and knees, coughing as Four paced around the room, scrubbing at the shaved sides of his head with his fists.

After a few seconds of coughing, One rubbed at his throat as he pushed himself up, "You're fucking crazy, dude. Really glad I recruited you. That's the kind of attitude we need out in the field."

Four shook his head as he let out a humorless laugh as One brushed his hands off, "You don't understand One. You never will."

"Cut the emo bullshit. We're not in Twilight. We're adults, just tell me what-" He stopped as Four swiftly turned to face him, eyes pleading,

"She became a Sky Walker, One. She's doing what I used to do because she doesn't think her life has any meaning and that's bullshit. She's my everything, okay? She's the reason I get up in the morning. She's the reason I do this damn job. She's the reason I keep myself alive out there. She's my guiding light. She's the sunshine on a cloudy day and-and” he waved his hands around uselessly as he tried desperately to pull another cliche from thin air, “I don’t know, man. She’s every other cliche you know about how someone makes your world better and she's putting herself at risk because of me"

One stood stock still as Four took another deep breath in, the fire in his eyes going from an inferno to embers as he stared at the screen where it showed her bending over the blueprints, tracing a line with her finger, "She's the love of my life and-" taking a shuddery breath in One felt his own eyes start to get misty, "Her light is the one thing that keeps me going in this miserable world. And if she's gone, I don't know if I'll make it." A tear made its way down One’s cheek as Four admitted this last part on a whisper.

One wasn't sure he was supposed to hear that last part but there was stillness as the room held its breath as it waited for what One would have to say,

"Alright. What do you need from me?"

Four's eyes snapped to One's. Stepping closer to One, his eyes roved over his face, trying to tell if he meant it, "You're not messing with me are you?"

"Not in this regard. Probably over something else I will but, what would make you feel better?"

Four took a second to contemplate it, "If she does seem like she's in trouble with this mission, we rescue her.” His eyes widened as he took another step closer to One, “AND, you offer her a spot on the team."

"Four-"

"One it's this or you lose me for good if she-she- '' Four's voice cracked as he turned his head away. Not even able to finish that horrible thought.

One’s heart squeezed in his chest. Christ, he thought, I’m more invested in their relationship than any bystander should be.

Groaning, One rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Fucking fine. I'm so going to regret this but...fuck it. If it seems like things are going sideways, we'll step in. I'll offer her a place on the team." Four started to smile but One stepped forward, pointing a finger in his face, "You have to meet with her before she makes her final decision though. I can offer it to her but she gets the final call if she wants to do this thing with us. With you. Got it?"

Nodding frantically, Four closed the gap between the two of them and wrapped One in a hug, "Oh, so we talk about our feelings for two minutes and all of a sudden we're into hugs? Weird."

Four let him go and with one last look at the screens, bade One goodnight.

Watching him leave, One turned to the screens, watching her analyze the blueprints, writing notes on them occasionally. Leaning on the back of the rolling chair One sighed, "Oh (Y/N), you have no idea what you've done."

~~~

Reaching into his pocket, One slide his phone out, shooting a quick text to Four,

She’s awake. And alive. Now we wait.

Heaving a sigh, he glanced down the hallway to see Seven approaching. Making eye contact with One, he raised his arms up as if to say, Well? What's happening?

"Fuck if I know. She's insane.” At Seven’s bug eyed look he quickly backpedaled, “In a good way. I don't think she's insane in, like, a psychological way. Just grieving."

"Oh good because grief is such a good emotion to grapple with in this line of work. Oh, and by the way did we mention that the man she’s grieving is actually alive and well?"

"You know, sarcasm is really ugly on you. Luckily, I'm not ugly so I can wear sarcasm well."

Snorting, Seven slumped against the wall next to One, letting his own head thud softly against the wall. Crossing his arms they both stared ahead at an unknowable future.

Seven broke the silence, "What really happens now, One. I mean, I know she's good, we all saw her in action. Taking out all four of those guards? Her entire plan was foolproof. It was impressive, no doubt but this is a tricky situation, one that none of us has ever had to deal with before."

"I know, I know." One let those four words out on a single huff of breath. Groaning he squeezed his eyes closed, "Why did I have to pick the one man on this earth who's desperately in love with a girl who so happened to be desperately in love with him and then they both went full Batman when they lost each other?"

"Because you see yourself in Four. That's why."

One's eyes slid over to Seven, "That doesn't leave this hallway."

Nodding once to show he understood, Seven pressed himself up. Twisting his body so he was facing One, his posture the only remnant to remind everyone he was once the perfect soldier, "But seriously One, what now. What can I do?"

Pressing his hands against the wall, One heaved himself up with a grunt, "Solve this for me?" The single eyebrow raise was the only answer he got, "Alright, alright. Come on. We need to go back and debrief everyone on this crazy shit. Don't know how I'm going to use small enough words to explain this to Three."

"You're on your own for that one dude." Seven laughed as they ambled down the hall, laughter dying on his lips his face fell into a serious mask, "How do you think Four's going to handle it?"

"If I knew I wouldn't be having this charming heart-to-heart with you."

"Seriously man, you're not even a little bit worried?"

"I'm freaking out dude!" Seven was brought up short as One rounded on him, gesticulating wildly, "This is no man's land! Even more so than this original idea! Four's so deep in his feelings with this girl and she's clearly heartbroken about him being gone and is on a one-woman train toward self-destruction that she's determined to meet him in death and” One’s eyes widened comically, “Ooooh my god I've Romeo and Juliet-ed them. Holy shit, I'm the Nurse. I'm too beautiful to be The Nurse!"

Gently prying One's hands from his collar, Seven looked him dead in the eye, "You have got to get a grip. You're spiraling and it's making your eyes go in two different directions."

Crushing his eyes closed, One took a deep breath in, "You're right. You're right. I need to get it together. We can handle this." Stepping back One hopped up and down on the balls of his feet, punching the air, "I need you to slap me."

The crack of Seven's palm making contact with his cheek sent One staggering back several steps.

"OW! What the fuck? No hesitation? No asking if I was sure?"

"I've been wanting to do that since the day you broke into my apartment." Seven shrugged as One glared at him, cupping his pink cheek.

"Fine, but it did help clear my head. So. Thanks. I guess."

Seven smirked.

"Alright, the plan. Let's talk to Four first. He needs to understand that for this to work, he needs to talk to her one on one. And it has to be her call. We can't influence her. If she wants in, fine but they need to work through their shit. And if she says no? Then we let her walk back to her life. And Four needs to respect that. He has to let her go."

"Easier said than done. I've seen his face when he looks at pictures of her on his phone."

"Yeah well, bet you didn't know he's also been following her? Keeping watch over her via surveillance tapes? And tracking her home?”

That brought Seven up short, "No? What the fuck?"

"I know. If it was anybody else's story I would have called the cops ages ago. As it is, it’s kind of romantic"

~A Week Later~

"We're all ghosts down here. Except, we don't float. One because gravity's intact and two because I'm not a cannibalistic clown."

"Could've fooled me."

"Didn't know I recruited fucking Tina Fey over here. Anyway, here's headquarters. Or home sweet home." One said in that same drole way he had of phrasing everything.

Walking through the punishing desert to get to the graveyard of felled planes had caused a shiver to pass through her. She did her best to suppress it but it was difficult. Passing through the giant hulking masses of steel caused her to feel like she was encroaching on the territory of ancient deities. The area felt loaded with their silence, the carnage keeping a silent watch as their footfalls disrupted the grains of sand that were being buffeted by the wind that swirled through the gaping openings in the bellies of the planes.

It had been a week since she’d been discharged from the hospital, well, not hospital, but the private sanctuary One had kept her at while she healed.

He had come into her room the day after he had left his card, shock on his face at seeing her sitting up, arms crossed.

"What the hell do you do and how do I fit into it?"

The single eyebrow she raised at One prompted him to explain, in detail, everything they did and what it would entail.

She’d been silent, eyes focused on his face, not making any sounds or moving until he finished his spiel. Then nodding, she asked one question,

"When do I start?"

He explained that her death would be easy to fake since she had technically almost died anyway. What he he hadn't told her was he hadn’t made it public just yet, he didn't want to make her brother and friend worry too much. Or give them a false alarm only for her to waltz back from the dead if she couldn’t handle being with Four.

So, here she was, following One up the stairs of the largest plane carcass. Pushing aside the plastic curtains that did their best to keep sunlight, sand and bugs out, he extended an arm in an exaggerated bow.

"I do hope it's to your liking Princess."

"Don't call me that you prick." She murmured as she breezed past him, pausing in the doorway to let her eyes adjust to the dim interior of the plane after being out in the searing sunlight.

The main room held more computer monitors than she had ever seen. She thought Mark's setup of four monitors had been impressive but the wall of screens staring back at her made her realize how rookie their operation had been.

A large silver table in the middle held a commanding presence and she knew, instinctively, that One felt most comfortable at the head of it, barking orders while still being able to hit the group in front of him with a sarcastic jab or two.

Taking a few hesitant steps forward she peered at the weapons lining the back wall. Snorting, she gestured to it lazily, turning her head to pierce One with a gaze, "You preparing for the apocalypse or do I require this much of a security detail?"

One's face broke into a fake smile as he leaned forward, placing his hands on his knees as he wheezed a few times, "Oh my god, sweetheart, oh god, please, stop, my stomach, it can't take the hilarity anymore, please, god." With that last word the smile dropped from his face and he stood up straight, crossing his arms over his chest,

"We're a group of vigilantes that have a specific subset of skills that makes us some of the most dangerous people on the planet. We go after the people that are even more dangerous than us. You think we just talk about our feelings and politely ask them to stop committing human rights atrocities?"

Brushing past her he shook his head, "Unbelievable." Muttering about new blood while he started down the hallway.

Eyes dancing over the various boards lighting up, she had the unmistakable sense that someone was watching her. One had told her there were five more that she would meet so she wondered if one of them was about to jump her as a weird sort of initiation.

But when she turned her head to the entrance, there was nothing.

Just the wind, blowing the plastic flaps back and forth. Scanning over the area she could have sworn the darkest corners contained something that was intrigued with her. Taking a hesitant step forward, One's voice jolted her out of her paranoia, "Hey, Amy Poehler, you coming to share more of your classic wit with the whole class or are you just going to dilly dick around all day? C'mon, I'm a busy man."

"Coming!" She yelled back, turning on her heel to jog down the hallway after him, turning her head one last time to make sure no ghosts were following.

Billy breathed a sigh of relief. He knew that today was the day he’d have to face her. He and One had discussed it extensively last night. One had been adamant, don't get attached to her being on the team before she explicitly says she wants to stick around, you know the rules, I know Seven changed things a little but this is getting into a whole new territory of softness and on and on while Billy had just sat there, taking it.

One finally ran out of steam (Billy wondered, not for the first time, if One had a coke addiction to get all the energy he needed) and Billy nodded his head, chewing over everything One had just said. He opened his mouth, preparing to show One how much he understood, how this was him only looking out for the team and adding a valuable asset. What came out of his mouth surprised him and One,

"I love her. I need her or else I won't make it through this life alive." He lifted his eyes to One and One took a sharp intake of breath. He had never seen Billy so open, so vulnerable. Even when he had been on the brink of dying, twice.

Searching his blue eyes, One sighed, dragging a hand over his face, squeezing his eyes shut as he scrubbed at his hair, groaning, "Fuck me, I must be getting soft in my old age. FINE. But remember. You have to talk to her. If you two can't work through your shit, she's gone. Poof. Vamoose. Got that? This is her choice. She gets to make the call if she stays, if she wants to work with you and if she leaves. Not you. Capisce?"

Billy nodded, trying his hardest to mask the eagerness he felt at the possibility of being with (Y/N) again. Being around her light, feeling that same pull into her warmth.

So, how could anyone blame him for wanting to see her as soon as she stepped foot into headquarters?

He had lurked in the shadows, pulling his hood over his hair, making sure his eyes were concealed. His eyes were her favorite part of him, she had told him during those amazing 24 hours they had shared together.

Billy couldn't believe it had been 365 days since they had seen each other. It felt like it had gone by so fast. But then again, he’d been all over the world, fighting bad guys and overthrowing dictators, (Y/N) had been living her life.

And started Sky Walker training which he was going to have to talk to her about that.

When she walked in, Billy had shrank even farther into the shadows, biting his tongue till he tasted blood, so he wouldn’t scream out her name.

It was still the same (Y/N) he’d fallen in love with, longer hair, more muscles but what really threw him was her eyes. They were the same color but the warmth that he had come to love was extinguished. Replaced with a flinty resolve that if anyone talked or looked at her, they would get their ass kicked.

It was the first time that he started to wonder if maybe this was the best idea. And let himself ponder the idea that she could potentially say no. That she wouldn't want to see him. That she would never be able to forgive him.

But he needed to know. He needed to try, he needed to show up for himself and for her. To show her that he still loved her, that he had always loved her.

Stepping out of the shadows, he pulled his hood down, making his way to the meeting room where they’d be waiting for him.

It wasn't till he brought his hand down from his hood that he realized his hands were shaking.

"Hola, Papi. Who's this lovely lady sitting here? My birthday isn't until next week." Three smirked as he pulled a chair out for himself, aiming a lazy wink at (Y/N). Her months of seducing men just like him in bars kicked in and she winked back, letting a slow smile crawl across her face.

An intimidating blonde woman kicked his chair as she sank into her own, "I meet your mother and this is the thanks I get?"

"You know I didn't mean it mi amor. I've only got eyes for you."

"And apparently any other attractive woman in a six mile radius." She extended her hand to (Y/N), "I'm Two. Nice to meet you."

Grasping Two’s hand in her own, she shook it, impressed with the strength of the woman's grip.

"Well, since you and Two are so happy together, this is my time to shine. I'm Seven." Seven grabbed her hand, pulling it up to his lips and pressed a kiss to it, holding her prone in his stare. He pulled back, winking at her and she felt a blush climb into her cheeks, "(Y/N). You have a much better chance than Three does at getting into these Nike leggings."

Seven's jaw dropped as One made a retching noise and Five stepped forward, extending her hand "I don't want to get into your leggings but I’m glad there's someone else here who's trained to keep these idiots alive."

(Y/N) shook her hand, smiling back at her, "Surprised they've lasted this long with just one doctor."

"You and me both." Rolling her eyes she turned to One, "This the one we picked up from Casewell’s joint?”

“The very same” was One’s reply as he flicked through the folder in his hands.

Five’s eyebrows rose up as a low whistle escaped her lips, “Shit. Well, I’m definitely glad you came around then. I’m assuming you’re the one who brought the vile of polonium?”

(Y/N) nodded, very aware of every eye in the room assessing her, sizing her up. It was like being in a room with Cassandra but multiplied by five.

“We saw you in action. Very impressive.” Two chimed in, crossing her arms over her chest.

Everyone else nodded as she tried her best to tamp out the flush of appreciation building in her cheeks. Snorting, she deflected, “Thanks. I guess you guys couldn’t have stepped in earlier to help, huh?”

“Sweetheart that’s not really our style. And in case you missed the chopper outside the building, we’re very particular about our style.” Flinging the folder down on the table, One braced his hands on the back of a chair, “So, now you’ve met everyone. The whole Brady Bunch of chucklefucks before you.”

(Y/N) had been mentally going over everyone's names in her head, when she furrowed her brow, "Hold on, either I’m dumber than I thought or your numbers are all out of whack. Where are Six and Four?"

Seven flicked his eyes to Two. Five shifted in her seat, opening her mouth when One cut her off, "Six is no longer with us and Four will be in shortly. I wanted you to meet the whole team first, get a feel for us, then meet Four and make your decision if you'd want to stay with us."

Cocking her head she flicked her eyes to One, "Why? Is Four like a 4Chan meninist who hates women? Why would he be the catalyst for whether I stay or go?"

Since meeting him, this was the first time she had seen One at a loss for words. It made her pulse speed up, clenching her hands into fists she tried to ignore the moisture that had started to accumulate on her palms.

One opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again, only to sigh and rub the bridge of his nose as he moved to the door of the meeting room they had been in, "It's probably easier if we just get this over with. Alright. Everyone out. C'mon hurry up." He waved his hands impatiently at the rest of the team standing around. Reluctantly they all started to move, Seven and Three grumbling about how they didn't want to miss any of the drama. Everyone stopped when her chair clattered to the floor, hands clenched at her sides as she took a step toward the door.

"What drama? One? What's going on?" She hated how shaky her voice came out but she couldn't help it. What did they mean? Was Four their muscle? Was it a weird hazing thing? Would she have to try to kill this person? Try to make it out of this room alive?

One was standing half in and half out of the doorway, hand closed over the door knob. Turning back, he locked eyes with her (Y/E/C) ones.

Her blood ran cold. He looked, sorry. Almost like he pitied her. She was pretty sure One didn't have feelings so to see this much emotion directed at her?

She was terrified.

"It'll all make sense. Just...do what you think is right. Okay? You seem like a smart kid. Trust your gut."

And with those cryptic words he left, shutting the door. Sealing her in to wait for this new threat to emerge.

One walked out of the conference room and ran right into Billy.

"Jesus, kid. Any closer to me and you'd need to buy me dinner and drinks before that shit."

Billy's eyes looked right through One, "Is she in there? What did you tell her? What's she like? What did she say?"

One held up his hands to cut off the avalanche of questions, "Yes. The bare minimum by introducing her to everyone. She's like how she was a few minutes ago when you were spying on her, don't think I didn't see you, and she hasn't said anything that I would write home to my own mother about. Oh, except she did tell Seven he could get into her Nike leggings."

Billy's eye widened and he twisted his body to where the sounds of the team were filtering back to the two of them, "I'll kill him myself if he even laid a fucking hand on her, I swear to god."

"Woah, hey kid. Easy. It was just some harmless flirting and besides, (Y/N)'s a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions. You don't get to dictate who she does and doesn't sleep with."

Billy's eyes were unfocused as he clenched and unclenched his hands. One took stock of the bundle of nerves before him and felt his shoulders droop a little.

It was times like this that really drove home young Four was. He was the most vulnerable (in terms of emotions and in how little protection he had during missions) and after hearing how he really felt about (Y/N), well, it caused One's own shriveled heart to grow two sizes too big after hearing it.

Even though sometimes when he heard her name, he could still feel Billy’s hand clamping down around his windpipe.

He didn't fault Four for it. Seeing how she reacted at the sight of Four's grave almost made him cave and push Four forward, yelling at her to stop crying.

It ripped his heart apart, especially because it made him think about the family he still had out there.

Sighing, he placed his hands on Billy's tense shoulders, feeling the muscles and sinews so tight he was surprised they didn't snap, "Hey. Hey. Look at me." Billy dragged his eyes away from the door and to One's face, "Don't go in there all freaked out. I think I already stressed her out a little bit so...be cool, okay? And remember, respect her decision. I'll give you all the space you need if she leaves but...respect her choice. That's top priority. Got it?" One gave Four's shoulders a gentle shake so he knew that Four had heard what he’d said.

Feeling Four's joints loosen as he took stock of his words, One slapped him on the back as he walked back down the hallway, "Also, just a heads up, we will be watching this whole interaction over the feeds so just keep that in mind if you two decide to start fucking."

(Y/N) had been pacing the perimeter of the room, checking for cracks, a hidden door, something so she could get out of here alive. She didn't have any weapons on her. Well, except a Swiss Army knife but that barely counted.

Running her finger tips over the walls she felt her heart clench as she looked at her busted fingernails. They were cropped short and bare. She missed her pink sparkly nail polish. She carried it with her everywhere though. She always figured that when she started feeling better she'd paint her nails again. So far, it was still unopened.

Hearing the door knob turn she inhaled sharply, whipping around so her back was pressed into the farthest corner of the room. Her fists clenched and her thighs prepared to pounce or run, whichever came first. Hearing her heart pounding in her chest she took a deep steadying breath as the door opened wider, allowing light to come spilling in, illuminating a silhouette in the doorway.

She couldn't make out any features under the hood they were wearing. The light in the room was dim and compared to the fluorescent lighting in the hallway, she had to squint to try to make out any features this individual had. Her heart beat sped up the tiniest bit when she realized the figure was built like Billy.

Then the figure cleared their throat and closed the door behind them. Taking cautious steps into the light. She opened her mouth, "Are-are you Four?" The figure stopped abruptly and nodded in response to her question. She wondered briefly if they were a mute as she ran a hand through her hair.

Billy's heart almost fell out of his chest when he saw that her hand was shaking as she pushed her hair out of her face. He so badly wanted to be the one to do that he had to plant his feet more firmly on the floor so he wouldn’t race to her.

"They, uh, they haven't assigned me a number yet and I know you all don't do names here so, I guess we gotta wait for me to really introduce myself but I'm the new recruit. It's nice to meet you." She held out her hand, stepping forward.

After a tense moment, Billy extended his.

She cocked her head to the side when she noticed Four's hand was shaking. She looked up at him but she still couldn't make out his face with the lighting and his hood. She could just see his bottom lip and she was surprised when she felt her stomach clench at the sight of how full and pink it was.

Looking down, she clasped her hand in his and felt her blood run cold.

Running along Four's fingers were tattoos.

Tattoos that were identical to the kind that Billy had.

Lifting her head up seemed to take an eternity to Billy.

He held his breath as her other hand reached up, index finger extended, shaking like a leaf in a storm as she brought it within millimeters of making contact with the tattoos she had traced so lovingly during those 24 hours.

"You bastard."

~~~

Tag List: @itsabenthing @vroboat @mrhoemazzello @gwendolyns-stacy @alliwantfromyouistomakelovetome @desperatelytryingtosavemyself @jonesyaddiction @xtrashmammalstefx @radiob-l-a-hblah @fairestkillerqueenofall

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mychemicalficrecs · 4 years

Note

May we get some sick/hurt Gerard with Frank caring for him?

I gotta admit I was surprised how many more fics there are for the reverse of this, but I did find some in the end! :)

Frank Caring For a Sick or Hurt Gerard

A Natural Reaction to Rough-housing by Bexless, 28k, Explicit. He made it to the bathroom and stood there leaning heavily on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look like a creepy sadist. But neither did Christian Bale, and that hadn’t ended well for anybody.

You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break by Solarcat, 14k, Teen And Up Audiences. Frank has high school figured out. His mom has given up arguing about the amount of time he spends in Gerard's basement, and he doesn't actually care if people think it's weird that he and Gerard hold hands in the hallways and go to the bathroom together. The only thing Frank cares about is figuring out why Gerard's suddenly avoiding him -- because what's the point of losing your virginity on Prom Night if you can't tell your best friend about it in the morning?

I never told you what I do for a living. by not0_fuckin_kay, 60k+, PG-13 to NC-17. Frank Iero, male nurse at Pete Wentz's private hospital and possibly more to one new patient he can't keep his eyes off of. When a new pateint is brought in with amnesia, just days before Christmas, and with nothing but the clothes on his back and a strange drawing, it's left to Frank to find out who he is and what happened to him. When he does, it changes Frank's life forever, as he's thrust into love and health scares he never thought would complicate his life. This is the story of how he tries to make it through, juggling his job and his love-life and just trying to make things better. With Patrick the doctor, Bob the ward supervisor, Travis the unlikely therapist, and Mikey, the sometimes wannabe homicidal geek.

it's like pemdas, right? by casualmarches, 515 words, General Audiences. "I'm not sick," Gerard says, disgruntled. "Just cold." He sneezes right after that.

Undying Love. by PunkRock13, 637 words, General Audiences. Just a short, fluffy one-shot where Gerard is sick and Frank looks after him.

103 by LadyBlitzkrieg, 11k, Not Rated. or: The one where Gerard is sick and Frank is the best boyfriend ever.

With This Fever (Yeah) by greedy_dancer, 1k, Explicit. For some inexplicable reason, Frank’s not sick, even though Gerard’s been moaning about his flu-like symptoms for the past couple of days and it usually doesn’t take much more than someone saying the word “flu” for Frank’s shitty immune system to just curl up in a corner and raise the white flag. So Frank’s enjoying playing nurse for once, getting to be the one who fetches tea and tissues and scarves instead of the one who needs to be taken care of.

sunburn by vampyrvenom, 1k, Not Rated. He slowly made his way to the entrance, which Kobra had already retreated back into. He swung the doors open, which brought more attention to him than he had been anticipating. Everyone's heads swung around to face him, instinctively looking for the source of the noise. They all seemed to notice at the same time what was off about him. Fun Ghoul was the first to speak up. “Oh my god. You’re as red as your fucking hair.” -- Poison falls asleep outside and gets sunburned

I Called You After Midnight by orphan_account, 5k, Teen And Up Audiences. Sometimes, love doesn’t mean acting on lust. Sometimes, it just means that when you’re called, you’re there, and you stay. For however long it takes, you stay.

put away the pills (come waste away with me) by endlessnighttimesky, 2k, Teen And Up Audiences. It’s three days after Osaka that Gerard’s breaks down and tells Frank everything. He thinks that maybe he should’ve done it sooner, at least the telling-Frank-everything part, but then he thinks that, perhaps, this is how it should be.

Lend Me Your Pain, Let Me Ease It by thirstingdragon, 4k, Mature. There were times that Frank wanted to just hold Gerard and make it okay. Sometimes he could, but there were some pretty key times that he couldn't.

they drew blood by endlessnighttimesky, 1k, Teen And Up Audiences. Needles just aren't Gerard's thing.

Pressing Fingers To Your Temples (To Quell The Loudness In Your Head) by action-cat (clytemnestras), 2k, Explicit. It's just that when it's so loud, he can't stop. So Ghoul stops it for him.

Ascending Floors & Descending Moods by orphan_account, 2k, Teen And Up Audiences. Gerard really doesn't like elevators. In fact, Gerard hates elevators. In fact, Gerard thinks elevators are really just floating deathboxes. And of course the one time he's forced into one something goes wrong. Good thing Frank is there, and he knows just how to calm Gerard down.

you say cut the stem, i say let's see the flower by userl4me, 1k, Teen And Up Audiences. When Gee's school forces her to cut off her hair as part of the dress code, Gee sees no other choice. That is, until her girlfriend comes to the rescue with black hair dye and kissing.

#frank/gerard #fic rec list #sickfic #hurt/comfort

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the-minyard-twins · 4 years

Text

Andreil Fic Rec

I’ve always wanted to do a fic rec so here we are! I’ve read a lot of Andreil recently and these are my top 28 favorite Andreil and AFTG fics

1. Trust Fall (And Welcoming Arms) by SpangleBangle

85k | Explicit

Life goes on after the Foxes win the championship, and for Andrew and Neil it’s uncharted territory with only each other for guides. Maybe it’s time to put away some of those hard edges, and learn how to touch more softly, and speak more honestly. And if they falter, they have their family to help them get back on their feet.

2. Learning To Feel (When You’ve Forgotten How) by thegirlwiththeprettybrowneyes

43k | Teen | No Proust AU

On the night before his first day of therapy at Easthaven, Andrew blows out his legs and decides he isn’t going to bury his feelings anymore, consequences be damned. In return, he gets a schedule change, and a very strange new therapist. /////// “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you,” Andrew finished, looking anywhere but at Neil’s face. Neil looked like he had just realized the sky was blue. “You like me,” Andrew sighed. “Yeah,” he said, resigned “Yeah, Neil, I like you,” /////// No Proust AU

3. Broken by Jeni182

34k | Explicit

Andrew attempts suicide and he and Neil try to navigate his recovery and healing together.

4. Waves by Jeni182 (sequel to Broken)

94k | Explicit

Broken Part II - Neil and Andrew try to navigate life post Andrew’s suicide attempt now that he’s in Denver and Neil’s in his last year at PSU.

5. Funky Happenings with the Fox Family by dobbypussypopper

29k | Teen | text!fic

naughtygayweedcrime: did I rlly just see neil say woke

naughtygayweedcrime: what a surreal timeline we live in

dumbfool: allison is trying to teach me how to meme so I can get hip

naughtygayweedcrime: bless your poor soul

davidwymack: sometimes I regret living

davidwymack has muted exyllent, damnwilds, + 7 others for 30 minutes

6. Something in Return by reaching _my_summit

31k | Mature

“Andrew Minyard, how will you celebrate winning your final college Exy championship?”

“I’m going to Disney World,” Andrew deadpans.

- - -

Andrew’s final year at Palmetto State comes to a close. His future is upon him and there are plans to be made. Years ago, Neil asked Andrew to stop smoking in exchange for something. Andrew finally knows what he wants in return.

7. The Unloved Kids by AlrightDarlin

35k | Not Rated

“I intend to treat them the same. I need strong athletes, not toddlers,” Wymack starts, but sits back with a sigh, running a hand over his face. “But hypothetically, if I had to look after a bunch of toddlers on the weekends…”

Betsy’s eyes crinkle with her smile. “Are you asking advice?”

“They’re screwed up enough,” Wymack says, “I’m not trying to make it worse.”

(David Wymack takes his little nightmares and does his best to corral them and love them within an inch of their lives. He can’t change what happened to them, but he can be there for them now.)

8. Turn it Off by elawless

10k | Mature

“It hurts…so much…too…much” He choked out between breaths. “I want to let go so…bad. I am so close”. He lifted his head to look at Andrew and saw no blue in his eyes and believed Andrew was real, but the rest of the pain was. It was just enough for him to trust Andrew with what he would say next.

“Stay. Give me Neil back. Don’t leave.” Andrew could no longer cover all of his desperation, his voice seemed to crack on the last word.

“Just let me turn it off. Just for today. Neil will come back. Bring him back, for the both of you.”

9. VW Actually Means “Very Weird” by exyjunkies

15k | Gen

If it was just going to be the two of us, then why bring the Volkswagen?

So that if I end up murdering you on this road trip, I’ll have enough space for clean-up.

Neil and Andrew take on the Pacific Coast Highway over the span of two and a half weeks, with a surprise for one of them at the very end.

10. Puzzle Pieces by Nikotheamazingspoonklepto

59k | Explicit | Series

Neil’s life is a puzzle, the people in it are the pieces that give everything meaning. Together they make a picture of happiness.

11. diet mountain dew by reaching_my_summit

2k | Teen

neil thinks andrew is very pretty. he tells andrew exactly that.

12. For Science by ClockworkDragon, DeyaAmaya

8k | Explicit

“Here’s what I propose: we’ll play a game, and I’ll even let you pick which one, but we’re going to set some stakes. I’m not going to let you talk big and walk away free of punishment if you lose.” Without hesitating, Kevin asked, “Fine, I choose Trivial Pursuit. What are the stakes?” Allison put a finger to her lips and tilted her head, as if she was actually thinking of a response and didn’t plan this whole thing days ago. “Hmm, did you know the spirit store recently added fox themed thigh-high socks to their stock? They’ve become quite popular amongst cheerleaders.” This statement seemed to throw Kevin off because he just stared blankly at Allison until she continued. Andrew was not, however, an idiot. He could see where this was going. “How about whoever loses has to wear the socks for an entire school day; including morning and evening practices?” “Holy shit,” Nicky whispered. “You are one devious bitch.” Allison winked.

13. ain’t no rest for the wicked by dearhappy

8k | Teen | Lucifer!AU

“You really expect me to believe that?“ Neil asks, "Especially when his girlfriend said that he’d always been worried about what you’d ask for in return, and that he called you the Devil.”

“I don’t lie,” Andrew says simply. “You can think whatever you want.”

“Why was he so worried if that was all it was?”

“He made a deal with the Devil,” Andrew says, “Tell me you wouldn’t be worried about that.”

14. Not Damsels, not Knights by my_unlikely_hero

93k | Mature

Neil is not a damsel, Andrew is not a knight, Riko is not a dragon. Nobody gets saved. Not really.

Or: Riko goes too far, and Neil is left in pieces.

15. The Continuing Adventures of the Nine-Nine by gluupor

48k | Gen | Series | Brooklyn 99!AU

A series of short, ridiculous, mostly plotless stories featuring the Foxes as the cops of the Ninety-Ninth Precinct.

16. Not Only You and Me by orphan_account (part of a series)

18k | Explicit | Porn!AU

Andrew, Neil and Kevin film Foxy’s first gay threesome porn scene.

Cue the feelings.

17. High School Science by fuzzballsheltipants

30k | Teen/Explicit (parts 1-3 are Teen and part 4 is Explicit) | Series

High School!AU

18. False Equivalence by sunrise_and_death

22k | Teen

Some part of her had known it would come back to Neil. He was the one who had cracked the twins the first time. Of anyone, he was the most likely to have a solution for this as well.

Although the events of the previous year resolved a lot of issues, Katelyn quickly discovers that not every problem has been addressed. As she attempts to map a future in which Aaron has both her and his family, she finds herself once again working with Neil Josten—to unexpected results.

19. trans andrew by aceaaronminyard, autisitcandrewminyard

30k | Explicit | trans!Andrew

a fanfic series for a tfc au where andrew minyard wasn’t registered into the system as andrew doe but as erin doe.

mostly set post-tkm. mostly porn.

20. Advice and Amusement by Autumnalhogwarts

11k | Teen

After a series of failed attempts to woo Renee, Allison turns to Andrew for help. As Renee’s best guy friend he’s in a unique position to offer advice. However, that doesn’t mean he’ll be willing to.

21. Kidnapped by Shell_Writes

21k | Explicit

Neil and Aaron get kidnapped by four deranged men while the team is on a camping trip. shit happens and they have to escape this horror house. together.

22. Return of Dad!Mack by SensationalSunburst

14k | Gen | Series

Dad!Wymack & Mom!Abby

23. For He’s A Jolly Good Felon by gluupor

4k | Teen | Felon!Neil

What’s a guy to do when he’s forced to go to his conservative, homophobic aunt and uncle’s for Thanksgiving dinner?

Why, invite along his ex-con, tattooed, argumentative roommate as his fake boyfriend, of course.

24. make my heart shake (bend and break) by WaifsandStrays

4k | Explicit

Aaron develops a fascination with Kevin’s dick, has a sexuality crisis and feelings and fails to process any of it.

25. Across the Water by transandrewminyard

13k | Teen | trans!Andreil

Perhaps several years too late, or maybe right on time, Neil Josten runs away from home and tries to dream a new life for himself. How poetic that his first night out on his own would deliver him to a stranger who seems to understand everything he’s been through, and then some?

26. Prompt: Andrew and Neil get to babysit Sophie by orphan_account

14k | Mature | part of a series

What it says on the tin, basically.

Aaron and Matt leave for a few days and ask Andrew and Neil to babysit Sophie. Baby-sized exy is involved. Also lots and lots of angst. But there is a happy ending!

27. Salt Bros and Roller Derby Vixens by moonix

14k | Teen | Series

Roller Derby!AU

28. Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by priorwalter

12k | Teen | Felon!Neil, Author!Andrew

“So,” Neil asks as he washes his paint-covered hands in the kitchen sink, “Christmas.”

Andrew glares and says nothing. This year, Neil and Andrew are spending Christmas with Andrew’s brother, Aaron Minyard. Aaron Minyard, Andrew’s twin whose existence was unknown to him until two months previous. Aaron Minyard, an orthopedic surgeon with a wife (an oncologist, naturally) and two daughters. Aaron Minyard, who grew up with a mother that chose him.

Andrew Doe has survived until age twenty-nine without any biological family, and his life turned out pretty good, considering all of the reasons it shouldn’t have. At age twenty-nine, Andrew’s book becomes a bestseller and leads his long-lost twin brother to him. Familial drama ensues.

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #andreil #aftg fic rec #fic rec

31 notes · View notes

silhouetted-beauty · 6 years

Text

“What I Wouldn’t Do For You”

Genre: Angst, Fluff, and Smut

Word Count: 14K

Warning: Cheating

A/N: It wasn’t until I watched clips from a BTS vlives that made me see a different side of our sweet little Taehyung. Of course the gears started to turn and I knew I wanted to write a story enhancing this specific characteristic but I didn’t know what... until a couple days ago! Enjoy and Happy Readings!^^ *Note* I started this one shot months ago and I’m just not finishing it! Fucking A!!!

*I do not own this picture*

For as long as you could remember, it’s always been Taehyung. The twenty-three year old sweet, caring, and goofy guy that you’d grown to love for over a decade. No matter what happened in your life, he was always there for you. From the day you first met him in grade school until now, it has always been him. Taehyung was there when you needed to talk, he let you vent out your frustrations whenever you became stressed, not to mention all the failed relationships you’d gone through, Taehyung was there to dry your tears. No matter how big or small, you ran into the arms of a single support system.

Looking back on it now, you weren’t sure what made you and Tae gravitate towards each other but you did. Meeting in eighth grade, the shy little nervous boy’s seat was assigned next to yours. You really didn’t pay attention to him until the teacher made the class sit in pairs. Even then, Taehyung still shied away from you, taking in his peers interactions instead. But the mere mention of a prize for finishing with the correct class work had you more determined than ever.

“That surprise is ours! Are you ready to kick their butts?”

Those were the first words you had ever spoken to him. Taehyung, however, just stared at you. The way he did it, was as if he was trying to reading your intentions but eventually a smile spread across his face and he nodded. Both of you working together proved to be quite a productive team. From then on, the two of you had grown to be good friends and when you both entered high school, you became even closer. Taehyung soon replaced your best friends who had become jealous of the friendship but you didn’t mind. He would defend you against their harsh criticism and anyone else that had something to say about you. Since you talked to him every day and he walked you home, it was safe to say that he was your new best friend.

Even after you made it home, you’d wait patiently for him to do the same so you could call him on the phone. Some days, he’d stay over to do homework and sometimes for dinner. Both of your parent’s adored him and it was your dad who believed that one day, you and Taehyung would get married. Of course being a kid back then, you laughed at the idea because he was your friend and you didn’t see him as anything more than that.

Throughout your high school years, you had experienced dating and so did Taehyung. The best thing about it was that it didn’t change the friendship not one bit. Your boyfriends got along with Taehyung and you found each one of his girlfriends adorable and sweet to be around. Meanwhile you and Taehyung maintained your tight bond, which was great during each painful breakup you went through. You didn’t feel like doing much but he would show up to your house with two bags full of snacks and a list of movies to watch. He would offer words of encouragement to make you feel better and let you cuddle against him during the movie.

“Tae?” He broke his eyes away from the television screen to look down at you. He lied on his back with one hand behind his head and the other wrapped around your waist. “You’re always here for me and I really appreciate it. I love you and thank you.”

He would always smile before kissing your forehead then turning his attention back to the film. “You’re my best friend, y/n. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

Thanks to Taehyung, you started to feel a lot better as the days went on. In exchange for his graciousness, you tried to be there for him when he went through the similar experience. Although you were shocked by his breakup with his girlfriend, Taehyung would rather not talk about it altogether so you were just there just in case he did.

With Taehyung by your side, your last year in high school was the best. The two of you were almost inseparable but you knew it was because you both were going to different colleges. The thought of not seeing or talking to him everyday made you emotional so you tried to prolong the inevitable and not the think about. But after getting into your choice of university, you were more so depressed than excited.

Your parent threw a congratulatory party that weekend, inviting family and friends. You were forced to grin and bear it until you spotted Taehyung arriving with his family. Unable to face him, you escaped to the emptiness of your room but much to your disappointment, he followed you there. He opened your door just as your face hit the pillow catching your tears. Taehyung didn’t say a word. He sat on the edge of your bed, rubbing your back until you had calmed down. You confided in him about how you were scared to go on to college without him and even more scared of the friendship being reduced to nothing. Taehyung simple told you that everything was going to be okay and that your friendship was never going to end because he wouldn’t let it.

“But aren’t you a little bit sad? We won’t be able to see each other for months. I don’t know if I’ll be okay without seeing you for so long.”

Taehyung reached out and held your head in the palms of his hands. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

“But-“

“Do you trust me?”

That question was enough to shut you up and stare hard at him. There was nothing you wouldn’t do for Taehyung and you knew he felt the same way. “... With my life.”

“Then trust me when I say this, I won’t leave your side, ever.”

For some reason, your eyes wandered to his lips. You had this strange urge to kiss him. It was like a burning nagging feeling and when you saw him lick his lips, it caused you to wet your own. You both sat in silence until Taehyung was the first to break away. He let go of your face and moved to stand up.

“Come on,” he groaned as he stretched his limbs then fixed his glasses on his face. “Let’s go back to the celebration. This is your day, you shouldn’t be upset. You should be proud.”

You offered a slight smile. “Could you give me a minute? I’ll join you in a little bit.”

“No problem.”

Taehyung left out of your bedroom, shutting the door behind him. The moment the coast was clear, you fell back onto the bed and put your hand on your heart. It was still beating fast which was shocking to you. You never thought of Taehyung romantically and was almost sure, he didn’t think of you as anything but a friend. But why now? Why were you now thinking of him as something more? Could it be because you were both leaving each other and you had unspoken feelings than you’ve kept hidden until now?

You’ve watch Taehyung develop into a very handsome man with a half serious half playful personality aside from the silly dorky kid you grew up with. He was really great person inside and out and any woman would be lucky to have him as a partner. Just the thought of him as your best friend was enough to make you get up and join the festivities. Your relationship with Taehyung was fine the way it was and there was no reason to ruin it with a silly crush. Besides, you wouldn’t be able to handle rejection if he didn’t feel the same.

Of course you found Taehyung downstairs talking with your father and when they noticed your presence, the conversation stopped. A smile appeared on Taehyung’s face as you walked closer but your father just watched the exchange from the corner of his eyes, slowly sipping his beer. You smiled back, grabbing his hand and leading him outside.

“I’ll talk to you later, Mr. y/l/n.” Taehyung said.

“Remember what I’ve told you.” Your father replied back.

“Yes, sir. I will.”

The rest of the party was a blast. Everyone ate and had fun but the moment the sun went down, the party was moved indoors. You and Taehyung, however, stayed outside staring up at the night’s sky and talking. You leaned your head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around your waist and stayed there. At that moment, everything felt right.

“Hey don’t cry. It’s not the end of the world.” Your dad stated, ruffling your hair. You nodded, trying to catch the tears that fell.

“I know, it’s just... I’m going to miss you guys. I’m going to miss seeing you everyday, coming home from school, having my own room.”

Your mom hugged you tightly. “Oh honey, this is just the beginning of your life. I’m sure you’ll be fine. We’ve taught you to be a strong girl.” Your dad came up and wrapped his arm around your mom’s shoulder.

“She right. Besides, once you spent some time away from here, I’m sure you’ll never want to come back.”

The three of you shared a laugh before you looked at your packed car. All of your memories flashed in your head, from going to your first day of preschool to going to prom with your best friend and graduating right next to him. You sighed at the thought as you felt your mood shift. You haven’t spoken to Taehyung for a couple days and even though you tried calling him repeatedly, he didn’t answer. It made you feel awful and as much as you felt like breaking down, you held it all in. He convinced you to remain strong because he knew it was going to be over. And what’s worse, he pampered you throughout the ordeal yet, you didn’t do the same. It was killing you and you wanted nothing more than to see him to say goodbye.

“Hey, dad. Have you seen or spoken to Tae?”

He shook his head and let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, pumpkin, but I haven’t. The last time I spoke to his father, his parent’s were driving him to college.”

“Oh.” You mumbled, feeling even more like shit.

“Not to worry. I’m sure you’ll spend plenty of time with him during your break.” Your father checked his watch. “Now, I think it’s time to get on the road.”

Your mother agreed and after watching your father climb into his truck, your mother got behind the wheel of your car and you got into the passenger seat. She followed close behind him while your attention was pulled towards the scenery for majority of the ride until you fell asleep.

The trip only took a couple hours before the car pulled on campus. After retrieving all of your information and directions to your dormitory, you and your parent began unloading your car. You had just sat one of your suitcases on the sidewalk when you heard a deep voice.

“Looks like somebody needs help.”

When you turned around to face the voice, you met a familiar box smile. Your heart dropped into your stomach as you raced to leap into his arms.

“TAE!” You held onto him tightly, afraid to let go for fear that it would just be your imagination. But after five minutes of being locked together, you knew it was real. The entire time, your parents watched on with a smile on their faces. “What are you doing here?” You asked as Taehyung lowered you to the ground.

“I told you that I wasn’t going to leave your side.” He smiled. It was then that you knew what he meant.

“You mean... you’re going to attend college here?” You could feel the tears building up in your eyes but all Taehyung did was nod silently. It was enough for you to break out in tears, covering your face. He was there just like he said he’d be, he wasn’t going to leave and you felt happy beyond words. Taehyung embraced you, holding you in his arms until you were able to calm down.

“But what about the university you got into? That was one of the top schools in the country.”

“I changed my mind.”

“But what about your future?”

“It’s not like they didn’t have my major here. Besides, I made a promise to a girl that I would always be by her side and I didn’t want to break it.”

You hugged him again, unable to believe that you wouldn’t have to go four years without him. You were even more shocked at your parents for keeping this from you but seeing the surprise look on your face was what made it all worth it.

Taehyung helped you move everything to your room where you met your roommate. You had learned that he wasn’t staying on campus and instead got a small apartment with the help of his parents. That’s where you ended up spending the night and majority of your time when classes had started. And with Taehyung by your side, college had become loads of fun.

During the days and hours you had class, Taehyung would chill at his place until you joined him then the two of you would go out. When he had class and you didn’t, you would wait for him in the nearby cafeteria until he finished. Some days, the two of you would do homework at the library but the time would end up being spent joking around.

Life for you was great and you couldn’t see it getting any better.

“Hey is someone sitting here?” A deep voice asked you.

That day, you were seated at a empty table in the cafeteria waiting on Taehyung to get out of class. When you looked up, you instantly became tongue tied at the sight of the guy. He was absolutely gorgeous that you couldn’t stop staring. To prevent an awkward moment, eventually, you torn your eyes away from him and tried to focus on your course textbook.

“No, go ahead.”

You watched from the corner of your eyes as he took a seat in front of you. He placed his backpack in the chair next to him and sat down to eat his sandwich and chips. You became mesmerized by the moving of his jaws as he ate and how his bulging veiny hands gripped his sandwich. You didn’t know why your mind was creating this exotic moment from such an everyday habit.

You were busy watching him that your heart nearly leaped into your throat when he suddenly looked up at you. Your eyes quickly went back to your book, hoping that you didn’t just get caught peeking.

“Wow, I remember when I had to take that class. It was such a pain in the ass.” He spoke. When you looked up at him, his eyes moved from the cover of your book to meet your gaze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to distract you.”

“No, it’s fine.” You stated closing your book. “How was the class when you took it?”

“I’m not going to lie, it was a bit difficult because of all the coursework the teacher gave but wouldn’t give any feedback. He would just lecture and give out homework and tests and expected us to catch on. Majority of the class failed. In fact, majority of the students that take his class fail.”

“And did you fail?” You asked lifting your eyebrow.

“Not really. I passed with a “B”.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “What was your secret?”

“I literally had to kiss his ass all semester and talk about topics I really didn’t give a shit about.” He admitted bashfully, making you both laughed. Eventually he stopped and added. “I still kept my notes from the class. If you want, I can help you out if you need it... if you want.”

You offered him a soft smile. “I would love that.”

“Cool! My name is Hoseok, by the way. Shin Hoseok.” He offered you his hand to shake.

“Y/n. Y/n y/l/n. It’s nice to meet you.”

The two of you ended up talking for a little while longer and you found out that Hoseok was only a grade ahead, majoring in public relations. He even offered to help you with other class work if you needed it. You were amazed by how kind hearted he was which was why when he offered to exchange numbers, you eagerly agreed. You were more so interested in getting to know Hoseok rather than to get help on homework.

Unfortunately for you, he had class to get to and left the cafeteria but not before saying that he’d text you later. You watched him walk away, smiling to yourself before opening back up your book to finish reading. It wasn’t long before you saw Taehyung enter with a few of his classmates. He laughed and talked with them before breaking away to come sit with you.

“So how was your time spent without me? You didn’t get into too much trouble, did you?” He asked plumping down into a nearby chair.

“Nope. I’ve been the perfect little angel while you’ve been gone.” You teased, sticking your tongue out at him. “So how was class?”

“It was alright. I have a test coming up so I have to study my ass off for that.”

“I’m sure you’ll do well, you always do.” He smiled and so did you. Truth be told, you were excited to tell Taehyung the news that you couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Guess what.”

“You got an A on your last assignment?” He asked quizzically.

“No.”

“You got free food?”

“No.” You laugh.

“I give up. What is it?”

“I met a guy!” You squealed with excitement. Taehyung froze in place as he was removing his books from his backpack. He then turned to look at you with a smile on his face.

“See what happens when I leave you by yourself? You become a magnet for guys.” He teased, causing you to smack him in the arm.

“Gimme a break, Tae. I haven’t dated in months, this is good for me. Not only is he smart but handsome too. He even offered to help me with my homework.” You gushed.

“Well as long as you’re happy, y/n, I’m happy too.”

“Thanks, Tae. You’re the best.”

From the first time you both texted each other, you and Hoseok talked nonstop. The two of you talked about every topic under the sun and were happy to find out that you guys had things in common. Besides Taehyung, nobody else knew certain things about you and it felt good to share that with someone else. You were excited to hangout with Hoseok when you weren’t in class or spending time with Taehyung. He still kept his word and helped you with your class work just like he said he would. He also planned out gatherings for you to attend when you both had free time, from going to see a movie to hanging out at a museum. Each place you shared your excitement with Taehyung who listened intently each time. It all felt unreal and this was the happiest you’ve ever been. So it came as no surprise that eventually, you and Hoseok began dating.

“The hearts are coming out of your eyes big time, when you talk about him.” Taehyung stated. “What’s his name again?”

“Hoseok.” You let out a loving sigh at the thought of him. “He’s so perfect, Tae. I really can’t believe my luck.”

“So when will I get to meet ‘Mr. Perfect’?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Whenever the two of you aren’t busy.”

“I’m not busy this weekend, how about you bring him over? Besides, there’s someone that I’d like you to meet.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

The week had come and gone and today was the day for Taehyung to meet Hoseok. You didn’t think there was a chance that they wouldn’t like each other because Taehyung got along with all of your previous boyfriends. He was just so likable and friendly that your boyfriends never saw him as a potential threat. You were excited yet nervous for what Taehyung had in store. He did say that he wanted you to meet someone as well and if you had to guess, this mystery person was his new girlfriend.

“Are you nervous?” You asked Hoseok.

“No, not really. I just hope that this even goes smoothly.”

If Hoseok was really honest with himself, he’d tell you he was a bit skeptical at the fact that a guy was your best friend. He had heard stories about male and female friendships that involved being sexually active with each other. But he figured that wasn’t the case with you. You spoke very highly of your friend and told him how the two of you grew up together. If there was a chance that feelings were there, you would have been dating Taehyung and not him.

You smiled and took his hand in yours. “Good, because you don’t have anything to worry about. Tonight will be good and afterwards... I can spend the night at your dorm.”

“I like the sound of that.” Hoseok agreed leaning down to kiss your lips.

The two of you had arrived at his apartment and were now knocking on the front door. Taehyung answered seconds later, fixing his glasses on his face. When he noticed it was you, he smiled moving aside and granted you and Hoseok entrance to his home. You walked inside, getting comfortable like you usually did when you came over.

“Tae, this is my boyfriend, Hoseok.” You stated happily, wrapping your arm around his. “And Hoseok, this is my best friend, Taehyung.” You watched them shake hands and greet each other.

“Y/n talks about you all the time. It’s nice to finally put the face with the name.” Taehyung said.

“Likewise. I’ve heard a lot about you as well.”

“I hope you guys don’t mind but I ordered take out. I’m a lousy cook and I didn’t want to ruin the evening burning the apartment.”

“Takeout sounds nice.” You stated and Hoseok agreed. “We’ll just wait on the couch until it gets here.”

You pulled Hoseok to the couch, snuggling up against him while Taehyung went into the kitchen. You had forgotten about his guest until you heard the bathroom door open. A girl emerged from the dark room, shutting the door behind her. When her eyes landed on you and Hoseok, they lit up. She immediately scurried over to meet you both.

“Hello! It’s so nice to meet you guys! I’m Sohyon. I’m Tae Tae’s-“

“She’s my girlfriend.” Taehyung finished as he came back into the room with two drinks in his hands.

He gave one to you then Hoseok before putting his arm around Sohyon. You watched the interaction from behind your glass cup. Your initial thought was that Sohyon was a very bubbly outgoing person. She smiled up at Taehyung’s tall figure brightly, squishing her curvy body against his. She made pouting adorable faces at him which, in turn, made him smile. It seems as though Sohyon made Taehyung happy which was all that mattered to you.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sohyon. I’m y/n and this is Hoseok.”

“So you’re y/n, it’s great to meet someone who absolutely adores my Tae Tae just as much as I do.”

“Yes, he is quite special.” You agreed honestly. Your eyes locked with his and you both smiled at each other.

The doorbell rung shortly after and it wasn’t long before you were all seated at his table eating and conversing, which quickly turned to laughter as Sohyon became the entertainer for the night. She was quite a character and you could see why Taehyung liked her. She told a variety of stories that included meeting him.

“So, what do you think?” You leaned over in your seat, whispering to Hoseok.

“I’m enjoying myself.” He said the moment he swallowed down his food. “They are a lively pair and I wouldn’t mind hanging out with Taehyung.”

“I think a guy’s night would be great for you two.”

You ended the private conversation and focused on the company. After dinner, Taehyung cut on a movie, sitting next to Sohyon on one couch while you and Hoseok cuddled on the other. Somewhere along the middle of the film, you noticed the pair getting a little too explicit for your eyes and decided to call it a night. You and Hoseok decided to follow pursue and give your farewells to the couple before leaving out of the door.

Catching a cab back to the dormitory, you both arrived a short time later, heading straight to Hoseok’s room. You both were relieved that his roommate wasn’t there and time spend alone, wouldn’t be interrupted. You sat on his bed with your arms spread out behind you, watching as Hoseok peeled off his shirt. You couldn’t help but bask in the glory of his chiseled torso and muscles, he was absolutely stunning. His body built like a Greek God not to mention, his personality made him one of a kind.

Hoseok smiled at how you carefully observed his body. To him, you were the stunning one. You had a beauty that captivated others and a caring nature that he wanted to protect. You were definitely the perfect girl for him; he couldn’t see himself being without you in the future. One of the ways he showed you was by leaning forward to kiss your lips.

It was a slow but passionate kiss that led to him lying between your legs on top of you. You held on to his waist while his arms rested on either side of your head. When he moved to kiss your neck, you whispered that you wanted him to take off his pants. Instead, as he moved down your body, he removed your clothing. First was your shirt and bra, kissing the valley between your breasts before taking a nipple into his mouth. His lips softly kissed down your stomach, his hands making sure to shed you out of your pants and panties next. Hoseok slowly spread your legs and softly licked your outer lips. He treated you like a porcelain doll, handling your body with extreme care. His tongue slowly licked you over, listening to your voice escalate and your fingers running through his hair.

Your back arched the moment you felt his two fingers penetrate your walls. It felt so good that you didn’t notice you were pulling his head closer to your heat. Hoseok are you for a couple more minutes before pulling his face away and stood to undress. You watched, running your hands over your skin and biting your bottom lip. He climbed back onto the bed, getting situated between your legs holding your body close to his. He guided his stiff member to your entrance and slowly eased it inside. You moaned into his shoulder as he slow fucked you. Hoseok whispered in your ear over and over about how beautiful you were and he was lucky to have you. This did nothing but make you fall even more in love with his caring nature. The night continued on this way until you both became exhausted and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The following Monday, you walked into the cafeteria looking for a specific someone. You felt refreshed after spending a relaxing day with Hoseok after the sensual night you both shared. It had you ready to tackle this week’s challenges and life, in general.

You found Taehyung sitting at a table with one of his school books open, copying notes. Happily parading over, you took a seat across from him, ready to hear about the rest of his weekend and to tell him about yours.

“So how was your time spent with Soh-“ Your voice immediately became caught in your throat at the sight of dark purple bruises on his neck. Taehyung never showed any signs of his sexual behavior with any of his girlfriends to the general public but here he was not only sporting one hickey, but two. For some odd reason, you felt your heart break in your chest.

Kissing was all you witness your best friend do but you should have known he was sleeping around, you definitely were. Maybe it was the fact that you were okay with not knowing what Taehyung was doing behind closed doors and here, the proof was all in your face. Or maybe you would have rather not known because the one who gave him those marks, wasn’t you.

The thought made your heart jump in your chest and start beating rapidly. Could it be that you were jealous? That you actually like Kim Taehyung, the boy that you had practically shared your life with? And that another girl had what you didn’t.... his heart.

“Yo, earth to y/n.” Taehyung spoke, waving a hand in your face to bring your attention back to him. “Wow, you were really spacing out. Is everything okay?”

You nodded, hoping to shake away your wild thoughts. “I’m fine.”

“What were you about to say?”

“Nothing!” You quickly rushed out, not wanting to bring up the topic of him and Sohyon. “I was just going to ask you about class.”

“Oh... it was okay. Just a regular day. Nothing special happened.” As he talked, your eyes seemed to travel down to those two spots on his skin, only to shoot back up to make eye contact when he looked your way.

“That’s good to hear.” You chuckled nervously, causing Taehyung to stare at you.

“Are you sure you’re okay, y/n? I know you like my own body so I know when something is up.”

“Don’t be silly. Everything is fine, I’m fine.” You looked down at your phone to check the time. “Oh my goodness, I forgot I had to meet with my professor!” You lied jumping up from your seat and walking out of the cafeteria. “I’ll call you later, Tae.”

You were gone before he could get another word, only watching you disappear out of sight. You slowed your walking pace to a stop, placing your hand on your heart. It was still racing, just like it had been doing the past few minutes. You felt bad for abandoning him like that but you had to get away. You couldn’t think straight especially being under him, looking at his handsome face, listening to his deep sensual voice, feeling his dark piercing eyes on you.... you let out a loud screech, hiding your face in embarrassment.

“Why is this happening?” You mumbled to yourself. “It’s only Tae.”

You paced the empty hallways until your class began. Once it started, you found yourself drifting away from class discussion and deeper into your thoughts, tapping your pen against your face. Not once did you show off or brag about your sexual escapades. There may have been times where you excitedly talked about your boyfriends to Taehyung but the conversations never went any further than that. You didn’t want to put him in an awkward situation so you avoided such talks out of respect for him. Of course the two of you talked about the topic of sex every now and then, but the questions and conversation never brought up past or current lovers.

Suddenly, your mind wandered to Sohyon. You wondered if Taehyung littered her neck with hickies just like she did him. His tongue gently licking over a specific patch of skin before puckering his lips to suck it into his mouth. Your mind created the image of him on top of her shirtless, grinding against her core as he sucked on her neck, causing her to moan out in pleasure...

When you realized your hips were slowly rotating in your seat to give your aching pussy some relief, you immediately froze in place. You were trying to get yourself off to Taehyung. Embarrassed by your behavior, you hid your face in your arms, lowering your head to the table.

“Stupid... you’re so stupid.” You chanted to yourself in a whisper.

You felt your face burning with embarrassment and became even more ashamed of who it was all over. You figured Taehyung would be so disgusted by the idea that you weren’t going to tell him what was wrong. In fact, from that day on, you began avoiding him like the plague. Ignoring his texts and not returning his phone calls. You would leave out of your dorm before he had made it over and you stayed out which made it difficult for him to find you. You made sure that you were always one step ahead so you wouldn’t face him and have to tell him that there was a chance that you loved him more than just a friend. You had even ignored Hoseok, ashamed of the fact that you had been thinking of another man. He had been nothing but a great supportive boyfriend and he didn’t deserve this.

After awhile, you thought that you had a handle on the situation, that is, until Taehyung became fed up after a week of being disregarded and decided to wait outside of your classroom until you gotten out. When you spotted him, you released a shocking gasp and was about to run but he grabbed your wrist, holding on to it tight. You struggled against his hold, trying your hardest to pry his hand away.

“No way, y/n! I’m not going to let you get away until we talk.” He stated, dragging you down the hallway and into an empty classroom. The moment you both made it inside, he let you go but stood in front of the door so you couldn’t escape. You watched him fix his glasses up on his nose, still staring a hole into your face.

“Well?...” He began.

“Well what, Tae?” You asked right back, trying not to let on how much you really missed his presence.

He scoffed with a smirk from irritation. “Let’s not play games, y/n. You know what this is about. Why have you been ignoring me? What have I done?”

You casted your gaze elsewhere, no saying a word and trying to stand your ground. Taehyung released a sigh. He pushed away his attitude and focused on what was really the matter.

“Was it something I’d said?” He continued in a softer tone. Right away he noticed your cold exterior wall break away as your arms uncrossed and you were now meeting his gaze.

“...No.” You finally stated.

“What it something I’d said?”

Once again, you became nervous and held onto yourself for support. “No.”

“Then tell me, y/n. What is the matter?”

“It was nothing you did... it was... something I did.” You admitted, turning away so that your back now faced him. You heard Taehyung approaching and quickly wiped away any tears that had built up in your eyes. His body covered yours as he embraced you from behind, wrapping his strong arms around you.

“Whatever you did, it’s not enough to make me mad at you so it’s not important. Just don’t ignore me like you did, okay?”

That was all you needed to hear, the comfort of his voice telling you that everything was going to be okay. So what if you were crushing on your best friend? You weren’t going to let it ruin the friendship and you definitely weren’t going to let it separate you and Taehyung again. And that was your secret promise to him.

“Okay.”

~~~~~

Everything pretty much went back to normal between the two of you. You continued dating Hoseok and Taehyung were still with Sohyon. Double dates became the norm and sometimes when it was over, you and Taehyung would hangout at his apartment after, playing fighting with pillows or settling down to watch a movie. Life had once again picked up and you were enjoying it all.

“So... are you still up for letting Hoseok and I have a guys night out?” Taehyung randomly asked one day as you helped him wash dishes. He playfully knocked against your shoulders earning a giggle from your lips. You bumped into him right back, focused on knocking him off balance. The game ended seconds later and you were able to answer.

“Sure, why not? Hoseok did say that he wanted to hangout with you. Maybe with the two of you gone, Sohyon and I can have a girl’s night in.”

“I don’t think she’s available. I was planning on going out this Friday.”

You thought it over. “Well that’s okay; I’ll just hangout with my roommate. There was a movie she wanted to see.”

“Sounds good.”

As you finished up the dishes, you happily turned around, leaning against the counter with the biggest smile on your face. “So... where are you guys going to go?”

“Can’t it be a guy’s night without you knowing where we are going?” Taehyung laughed. “What? You don’t trust me with your boyfriend?”

You joined in on the laughter. “Come on, Tae, it’s not like that. I wouldn’t have agreed in the first place if you were such a bad influence.”

“Good, just making sure we have an understanding.” He stated walking out of the kitchen, leaving you to follow.

“Are you not going to tell me?”

“Nope.”

“Taehyung...” You warned.

Taehyung laughed as he dodged all the pillows you threw at him.

~~~~~

Friday came and you were standing in front of your mirror checking your outfit. You had already said your goodbyes to Hoseok and Taehyung and now you were going out to the theater. You had told Hoseok to text you when he made it home and left it at that.

Taehyung and Hoseok were sitting in a restaurant, eating and drinking beer. They talked and joked around and once their stomachs were full enough, they had left that location in search for a new one. Minutes later, they walked inside of a club for no particular reason. They ordered more drinks and decided to just let loose and have fun. Shortly after, Hoseok was approached by a female partygoer.

“You’re Shin Hoseok, aren’t you?” A light voice asked him and when he nodded, she smile, speaking up even more. “I’m Hwang Eunji, we have psychology class together.”

That perked Hoseok right up as he turned his body to give her his attention. He didn’t think he’d run into one of his classmates that evening but he also didn’t mind her being there. “Really?”

“Yes, and I have to say, I really enjoyed your report on the behavioral mindset of misguided youth.”

As Eunji gave her opinions on the topic, Hoseok was relieved to have found someone he could bounce his ideas off of. The more they talked, the more Taehyung became nothing more than an observer to their conversation. Meanwhile Hoseok and Eunji ordered more drinks and talked and laugh until they became inebriated enough to lose control of the situation.

Somewhere along the line, Eunji had admitted to Hoseok that she always had a crush on him. This did nothing but boost his ego as he allowed her to flirt with him. Before they knew it, the pair were cuddled together, caught in a lip lock. Taehyung immediately thought of you and how hurt you would be if you saw this. He tried to pull Hoseok away, after all, it he wasn’t really in control of his body and if he was sober, none of this would be happening.

Hoseok felt a pull to his body and shrugged it off, pulling away from whomever it was trying to come in between him and his date for the evening. Taehyung had no choice but to physically snatch Hoseok to his feet, trying to do what he could to sober him up. Eunji crossed her arms in a huff. She was drunk and horny and didn’t appreciate Taehyung getting in the middle of what they had going on. At this rate, their guy’s night had taken the turn for the worst.

“Hhheeeyyy, Tttaaaeeehhhyyyuuunnnggg...” Hoseok drunkenly slurred his words, trying to find his balance. “Iii ttthhhiiinnnkkk iiitttsss tttiiimmmeee fffooorrr mmyyy dddate aaaannnnddd iii tttooooo caaallll iiittt aaaa nnnniiiigggghhhttt.”

He motioned for Eunji, who stood alongside him, holding onto his waist.

“But wait! Don’t do this!” Taehyung he yelled at their retreating backs. “What about y/n?!”

Hoseok only response was the wave of his hands as he escorted Eunji out of the club and to a nearby hotel.

~~~~~

You sat on your bed with your head hanging over and your legs bent at the knees. Today was one of those extremely boring days and it didn’t help that there was a severe thunderstorm outside. Everyone you knew was busy, including your roommate. Even though it was raining, she dolled herself up for the day and still went outside.

You let out a sigh as you rolled over on your stomach. Reaching for your phone, you dialed Hoseok’s number hoping that he could come over and keep you company. With the phone pressed to your ear, you listened as it rung and rung until finally, the phone went to his voicemail. Furrowing your eyebrows, you felt as though something was wasn’t right. Hoseok always answered your calls and texts so why would today be any different? You knew he wasn’t busy because he didn’t have any class today. He would have usually been at your dorm, cuddling with you or you would have been there.

You sat up on the bed, getting more upset. When you really thought about it, you hadn’t spoken or seen Hoseok since his guy’s night out with Taehyung. Come to think of it, you haven’t seen or heard from Taehyung either. Something was wrong, something had happened that night that resulted in both Hoseok and Taehyung avoiding you. Acting on adrenaline, you grabbed your jacket and keys and left the dorm. You walked across campus in an increasing pace, your heart beating a million times per second, you had finally reached Hoseok’s dorm. With each step you took to his door, you tried to reason with yourself and make excuses as to why you haven’t heard from your boyfriend.

Standing in front of his door, you sniffed, trying to get your emotions in order. You knocked hard and waited. Seconds later, the door opened to reveal a very emotionally exhausted Hoseok. The moment he saw you, his eyes widen with fear and he immediately became too tongue tied to speak, stuttering as he struggled together the words out.

“Y-Y/n... what are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see my boyfriend since it’s been awhile and he’s been avoiding me.” You stated, trying to keep your cool.

“I’ve just been busy.”

“So busy that you can’t pick up the phone and call me?” His gaze went to the floor, unable to look at you.

“Y/n listen-“

“What is going on, Hoseok?! What the hell happened that night that you can’t look me in my eyes?!” You broke down, letting your tears fall from your anxiety. You had an idea of what might of happened but you were also scared to confirm it. Seeing the tears in your eyes, Hoseok broke down as well, shedding a few tears of his own.

“I’m so sorry, y/n! I fucked up big time and did something that I’m so ashamed of.”

You felt your heart drop at his admission. “What did you do?” You weren’t even sure if you wanted to know but now you needed answers.

“Taehyung and I went to a club and I had met a classmate of mine. After a couple drinks, she and I...”

You could barely hear him due to the erratic beating of your heart. “... you what, Hoseok?”

“I... l...” Hoseok choked up. “I... had sex with her.” He cried. You looked away in disgust, trying to mask all the hurt you were feeling. “But I promise, y/n, it didn’t mean anything to me!” He hurried to tell you.

“I sobered up to this nightmare and I’m completely ashamed of myself. You were the best thing that happened to me and I didn’t know how to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt you let go of what we have.” He sighed. “I should’ve had more self control over my body and actions.”

“Hoseok..” you mumbled, trying to take in everything he was telling you. When you still weren’t moved by his words, Hoseok tried to explain his self further.

“She didn’t and doesn’t mean anything to me, I swear!”

“But she meant just enough that night to make you want to throw away your morals, your dignity and self respect, and our relationship.” You stated, wiping away fresh tears that had fallen.

“Y/n, please...”

“I’m sorry, Hoseok, but I can’t be with you.” You sniffed.

“Noo!...” He cried. “Don’t do this to us! We can get through this just don’t give up on us!”

“You give me no choice!” You lashed out, letting your hurt and anger show. “We had the perfect relationship, Hoseok! Out of all the times, I went out or went to the club or gotten drunk, not once did I think about sleeping with another man! That shows me how irresponsible you are with alcohol and not only that, I’m upset at the fact you you didn’t even want to tell me! Instead of coming to me like a man and admitting your mistakes, you coward in the face of the truth!”

You completely broke down, covering your face as you cried in your palms. Hoseok couldn’t do a thing but watch. He wanted to hold you, to comfort you like he’s always had done because he was the source of your pain but he knew you would just push him away. He didn’t want you to resent him even more so he kept his distance.

“But... even though I’m hurt and I hate you right now, a part of me still wants to be with you.” You scoffed, wiping away tears. “But how do you expect me to forgive you if there’s a chance that it will happen again if you drink?”

“It won’t! I swear I will never drink again if it means getting a second chance with you.” Hoseok replied anxiously. It was quiet between the two of you as you took in his plea.

“Hoseok?” You finally stated. “I forgive you... but I don’t want to be with you. You have broken my heart and my trust. Giving you a second chance is a risk I don’t think I’m willing to take. I’m sorry but we should end this right here.”

Hoseok nodded, accepting your words as defeat. “I understand. I will miss you, y/n.”

“I will miss you too.” You gave him a final hug which lasted for minutes until you broke away. “Goodbye, Hoseok.”

He couldn’t speak as he leaned against the wall before falling to the floor. Hoseok couldn’t do anything but watch you walk away from his life for good, thinking over and over about how lost the perfect girl.

~~~~~~

As you walked down the stairs of the dorm, your anger and hurt was still present. Not only did you feel hurt but also completely betrayed. Pulling out your phone, you dialed the number of the only person who had your back, or so you thought.

“Hey princess, what’s up? What are you up to on this rainy day?” Taehyung asked.

“You knew that Hoseok cheated on me, didn’t you? Is that why I haven’t heard from you in awhile?”

There was a slight pause before you heard him speak. “Did he tell you that?”

“It doesn’t matter how I found out! All that matters to me is why did the people I trust the most just betrayed me as I meant nothing?!” You cried out.

Taehyung immediately lowered his voice to try to ease the sudden tense conversation. “Don’t say that, y/n.”

“Why not?! It’s true! I trusted Hoseok with my heart hoping that a guy like him wouldn’t break it and I trusted you to be my loyal best friend and stand by my side.”

“I am.”

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME WHEN IT HAPPENED?!” You yelled in anger. “WHY DO I HAVE TO REACH OUT TO YOU WHEN YOU KNEW WHAT HAPPENED?! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HAVING MY BACK?!”

“It’s not like that, y/n. I knew you would be hurt by this but I didn’t want to be the one to bring you bad news. You were really happy with Hoseok and I didn’t want to be the one who came in between that. However, you are absolutely right. I should have told you, regardless, because you deserved to know. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have let my selfish thoughts override my judgment.”

You listened to Taehyung’s calm deep voice as he spoke. You knew he felt guilty about his role in the situation and knew he genuinely felt sorry but your emotions were too out of control to let it go. You were upset and hurt and wanted everyone to feel the same. Why did you have to be the only one that suffered?

“You know what Tae?... Fuck this! Fuck you! And fuck him! I don’t need anyone! I’ll be on my own! That way I will never have to experience this shit again!”

You hung up the phone and even though it was still in the middle of a storm, you walked outside and slowly across campus getting soaked in the storm. You felt broken to the core and didn’t care of the possibility that you could get sick. All you wanted was to be left alone in your misery.

When you finally made it back to your dorm, you stood by the door letting the rain water drip off of your body and clothes. Your roommate still hadn’t returned back which you didn’t mind because the last thing you needed was her asking you to recount today’s events.

You took one step and stopped at the sudden knocking of your door. As you reached for the doorknob, you hoped it wasn’t Hoseok, changing his mind and begging you to come back. You didn’t want to deal with that but you prepared yourself nonetheless. However, your eyes widen when you, instead, saw Taehyung’s dripping wet figure at your door. He dressed in all black baggy clothes, letting you know that he quickly threw on clothes. His hair dripped single drops of water below and for the first time in awhile, Taehyung wasn’t wearing his glasses. His dark eyes stared into yours as his lips slightly parted to catch his breath. He didn’t even give you a chance to speak as he stormed inside, giving you no choice but to close the door behind him.

“What are you doing here, Tae? I meant what I said about being alone.”

“Honestly, I was worried and wanted to make sure you wouldn’t do anything crazy acting on impulse.”

“Why does it matter to you what happens to me? You don’t care about my feelings.”

“Of course I do! I care about you a lot, y/n. You don’t know how scared I was at the thought of something happening to you.”

“Why?! Why are you more scared of what I may do to myself than what someone else does to me?!”

“I’m scared of ANYTHING happening to you period! You’re too special to let someone else’s behavior affect you.”

“What do you know?” You asked in sarcasm, crossing your arms in front of you.

“Do you really want to know, y/n?” He asked and the tone of his voice made your stomach drop and your heart quicken. “I know that Hoseok didn’t deserve you. Any man in a relationship with a woman he truly loves would never let another woman get close to him. All the other guys you use to date didn’t deserve you either because they didn’t know how to treat you like the princess you are. If it was me, you’d never get sad or cry and I’d never let anyone hurt you. You’d be the happiest woman alive and I would see to it personally.”

You scoffed. “I don’t believe you. This is nothing but words Kim Taehyung.”

“Believe what you want but I know how I feel about you. You mean the world to me and always did... I was just scared to tell you until now.”

The room became quiet and you stared at him until his figure became blurred by tears. Initially, Taehyung thought you were upset by his admission and felt bad, thinking he was burdening you with his true feelings. But when he went to comfort you, you pushed him away displaying a face that he couldn’t read.

“All this time I’ve remained quiet, scared to tell during those moments because I was scared of rejection or you just wanted to stay as friends.” You admitted wiping away tears and smiling. “But I’ve felt the same way ever, since high school.”

At first Taehyung thought he was hearing things. He couldn’t believe that not only did you share the same feelings but you were also worried if he didn’t feel the same. This did nothing but make his love for you grow even more.

He embraced you again and this time, holding you felt more special than it did before. You placed your head against his chest listening to his heartbeat. That day, you may have lost one love but you found something greater in the arms of your best friend: his heart. And that was all that mattered from here on out.

“Tae?” He looked down at you. “Kiss me.”

You wanted to know how it finally felt to kiss his lips. You had imagined it so many times and you got your answer when his lips touched yours. It was everything you dreamed of and more, you almost didn’t want it to stop and Taehyung agreed. He deepened the kiss, letting his tongue explore your mouth and you allowed him to, holding onto his wet clothes. Your tongue danced along side of his, wanting to taste every inch of him. The moment you both came up for air, you were breathing heavy as Taehyung held your face in his hands.

“You don’t know how long I wanted to do that.” He stated with a smirk.

“Then don’t stop.” You countered with a smile and he did just that.

He kissed you more eagerly, helping you out of your wet clothes and you did the same with him. A trail of damped clothes led to your bed where the two of you lied. Taehyung remained in his boxer briefs as you were only dressed in your undergarments. He kissed from your lips down to your neck, sucking skin between his lips and leaving a mark in its place. Before he could get to your chest, Taehyung removed your bra immediately latching on to your small hardened nipples. His tongue rolled over it while his large palm kneaded your other breast, rolling your nipple between his fingers. You moaned out, unable to believe that this was really happening. You were almost suffering from an out of body experience, watching as your best friend took you on your bed.

Taehyung moved south, playfully nibbling all over your stomach, making the both of you laugh. His seriousness took over again, licking your bellybutton and kissing your lower stomach. You didn’t even notice when he took off your panties, you only felt the cold breeze when he pulled you to the edge of the bed and spread your legs to accommodate his body. You took an inhale of breath when his warm tongue touched your lower lips. Your back arched off of the mattress and your hands instantly went to massage his scalp to brace yourself for what he had planned.

All it took was one lick for Taehyung to become addicted to your taste. He held the inside of your thighs down to the bed as he hungrily ate you out. His tongue roughly licked between your pussy before your lips surrounded his as he went to suck on your clit. He could feel the sensitive tiny ball try to escape his ministrations but he wouldn’t budge, causing you to sit through the torture. By now, your fingers had his hair wrapped around them and you were begged Taehyung not to stop. Even when you were dripping wet and on the verge of cumming, he didn’t want to stop. He wanted you sweet nectar all over his mouth and tongue. You were practically screaming and figured you would be visited by your RA later on due to the noise.

Taehyung pulled his face away for just a minute, breathing into your core as he coated two of his fingers in your juices before letting them penetrate you. He licked his lips as he carefully watched them disappear then reappear, listening to the dynamics of your voice. It wasn’t long before he reattached his mouth to your clit to bring you to another orgasm, softly licking your pussy as it died down.

Your eyes closed briefly, trying to slow your breathing and when you looked down at Taehyung, he stared into your eyes as he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean. You watched wide eyed, not thinking he could get anymore sexier. When he went to stand up, you leaned up too, helping him remove his last bit of clothing. And when you saw his hard cock standing tall in the air, your mouth watered and you wanted to repay the favor but he stopped you.

“There will be time for that later. Right now, I want to show you how much you mean to me.”

He guided you back onto the bed and climbed in between your legs, letting his cock rest against your pussy as your lips met again. He reached down and slowly eased the thick crown into your opening, your mouth softly vibrating against his as you moaned. He felt so big that when he was fully inside you walls, you felt the pressure from being so full. Taehyung started off slow and gentle, letting his hips slow grind against yours but gradually began speed up. Your arms and legs wrapped around his body, loving what he was doing to you. But then Taehyung leaned up on his hands, pinning yours to the bed as he fucked you faster and harder. He wanted to look down and witness the pleasure he brought you, capturing it all with his eyes. He watched you wiggle under him, rotating your hips to feel more, your voice begging him not to stop.

Taehyung suddenly pulled out of you, flipping you over on your stomach, and re-entering you from behind. He leaned over, covering your back as he groaned about how good you felt wrapped around him. Pulling your legs apart, Taehyung was able to sink deeper feeling the barrier of your cervix. He pulled back and slammed his hips into you repeatedly, pumping your pussy of more juices. You gripped your comforter tightly, moaning loudly into it to muffle your voice. With your hips lifted in the air, Taehyung was able to reach around and rolled your clit on the tips of his fingers. You were in complete ecstasy; never wanting it to end but your body gave up; give him your third orgasm before falling onto the bed in exhaustion. Taehyung remained energized, still fucking you, chasing after his own release. He came minutes after, letting out a deep groan before falling on top of you. He wasn’t in that position for long, rolling on his back and pulling your sweaty body on top of his.

“Wow...” you breathed out.

Taehyung chuckled. “That was just the beginning. I plan to show you what you’ve been missing out on.”

“Well if the following days end like this, I’m ready to see what you have in store.”

The room, once again, grew quiet as he held you close to him, feeling to your heartbeat against his and your small slow breaths of air slowly getting deeper and deeper. You ended up falling asleep some time later but Taehyung remained awoke. He stared down at your peaceful face, taking in your beauty. You are always so beautiful with an amazing personality and he didn’t regret meeting you for one second. In fact, he wasn’t sure if true love existed but he felt that way every time he saw and spoke to you. You were the perfect woman for him, the one who he would do anything for and anything to make you happy. You deserved the world and he was going to give it to you. Which is why Taehyung set up you getting cheated on, just to be with you.

He wasn’t sure of his feelings for you the first time he met you. He assumed that you would go back to ignoring him after being paired together was over with, seeing that you were more popular than he was. You had plenty of friends while he didn’t have any. Although he was smart and had great grades, he was still quite a lonely person keeping only to himself. Not to mention, he had just transferred from another school a couple months ago and still he didn’t meet anyone he could call “friend”. His parents had even gone so far as to move him from his prestigious expensive private school to a public school for fear that he had developed social problems.

But that one day in the classroom, changed everything. Not only did you value his opinions and hard work, but from that day on, you spoke and chatted with him every time the two of you ran into each other. Just from those simple interactions made Taehyung feel important. He felt valued amongst his peers, even though you were the only person he talked to. You gave him courage to open up and be himself. From then, Taehyung became a social butterfly. He made a few friends, had plenty of girls who wanted to be a romantic figure in his life but Taehyung never stopped thinking about you. To him, he didn’t care about anybody else except you. He wanted to be your best friend and wanted to make himself available to you whenever you needed.

In fact, Taehyung wasn’t sure when his crush for you started but if he had to make a guess, it happened a few months after meeting you. One night, he lied in bed thinking about what happened that day and all the goofy things you both talked and laughed about. Taehyung remembered just staring at you because of your smile. You seemed so happy and so carefree that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your beauty.

It was at that moment he felt his heart quicken in his chest and the heat race to his face at the memory. He tried to convince himself that he was probably just tired but when he saw you the next day, the feeling returned and wouldn’t go away. You used to tease him about how red he would get called him “Tomato” instead of his name. Taehyung knew he had to do something otherwise you’d quickly catch on to his feelings so he managed to keep them hidden away until he was alone or in the privacy of his room. He would think about you all the time while in bed. What was your nighttime wear? Did you sleep under the blanket or on top? Did you lightly snore? Taehyung always imagine lying next to you, holding you close and keeping you warm with his body heat. Of course his thoughts would turn explicit and he would imagine kissing you or sucking dark bruises into your skin. Many nights he dreamt about eating your pussy. He would grip his cock, slowly stroking it as he imagine you pulling his hair and moaning his name. He made a promise to one day see for himself how you tasted and to feel wrapped around him.

His possessive nature only increased when you both entered high school. He spoke to you everyday and his plan to have you to himself had seemed to be working. He had met your parents and they quickly grew to loved him. He fit right in with your family perfectly, just like it should be. Your father even told Taehyung that he had his blessing and how he needed to just man up if he wanted to win your heart. Although Taehyung loved the idea and had grown confidence, he still felt inadequate when it came to approaching you on the topic of love. He wasn’t sure if you felt the same way or even thought about him the same way he thought about you.

While your new friendship blossomed, your other friends were pissed about how close the two of you became but Taehyung only used it to his advantage. He comforted you when your now former friends began pestering you about being friends with him, demanding that you choose between him or them. For obvious reasons, they didn’t like Taehyung and felt he was obsessed with you and if you really thought about it, they’d been right. But you couldn’t picture Taehyung as anybody else but your sweet best friend who had your back and was there for you no matter what.

However, Taehyung’s plan slowly began to fall apart the moment other guys started to enter the picture. You had a dated few boyfriends who eventually broke your heart each time. Within those months, Taehyung had no choice but to get a girl to throw off his attraction for you. Even though each of his previous girlfriends adored him, he never felt the same way towards them. And what was even more shocking yet annoying to him was that they their feelings seem to grow faster than normal. Although he barely did a thing, they fell in love with his cold nature, wanting even more from him. The moment Taehyung found out that your relationships ended, he did the same, making sure he was available to you twenty-four/seven and no girl was going to get in the way of that. Of course they were upset over the breakup and you always assumed he was too and tried to comfort him. Other reason why he was in love with you. You were always so thoughtful, thinking of him first when he knew you were hurting more.

Taehyung thought back to the time when you wanted to get back together with a guy, Yong Seung-Woo, who had just publicly broken up with you in front of everyone and made you feel worthless inside. The rage was flowing through his blood, listening to you cry about how hurt you were and was even more upset at yourself because you still like him. Taehyung rubbed your back, comforting you because he knew you didn’t deserve that. You were the most sweetest, loving person around. So after dropping you off at home, Taehyung raced to Seung-Woo’s house and knocked on his front door. He knew that his parents were away at work and they could talk more freely.

“Hey, Taehyung! What’s up?” He asked, the moment it was open.

“I was wondering if I could have a few words with you. Can I come in?”

Seung-Woo opened the door wider, inviting Taehyung inside. He didn’t suspect that something was wrong, seeing how Taehyung was your best friend and he just broke up with you. Seung-Woo didn’t have a care in the world and that would be his own undoing.

“Where’s y/n?” He questioned, walking into the living room. “The two of you are usually combined at the hip. She didn’t have you come over here on her behalf, did she? That girl doesn’t know when to quit.” He chuckled. “She just can’t get it through her head that she was just a good time, that’s all. I mean, she’s a sweet girl but she’s no longer an interest of mine.”

Taehyung grabbed his shirt with both hands, slamming his back against a nearby wall. Seung-Woo was caught off guard, the shock was evident on his face.

“Hey, man! What the f-“

“Shut up!” Taehyung yelled, leaning his face closer. “You’re too much of a no brain idiot to appreciate someone like Y/n so I’m not the least bit surprised by your behavior but bad mouth her again and I’ll rip your fucking tongue out.”

That got Seung-Woo’s attention and he instantly became scared. “Y-Y-You’re fucking crazy...”

“That’s right I am, glad that you noticed.” He smirked before his serious face took over. “About y/n, now until the rest of your life, act like you don’t know her. Don’t even look her way. If she tries to talk to you, ignore her. Go about your life as if you didn’t just ruin hers. Okay?”

Seung-Woo eagerly nodded his head and was set free seconds later. He swallowed hard, gripping his chest and clothes in fear as he watch Taehyung walk to the door. They made eye contact one last time when Taehyung turned around to face him.

“Oh, by the way, it would be in your best interest not to mention this to anyone, got it?” He winked before walking out the door.

The next day at school, Taehyung walked along side of you as you raved about looking so good that Seung-Woo would be dying to get back together with you. Your makeup and choice of attire made you stand out from your average days and Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at how sexy you look. You made him want to admit his feeling for you at that very moment but held back for the right time.

Just as expected, Seung-Woo walked by on the opposite side of the hallway. This was the moment you waited for, for him to admit dumping you was a mistake. Taehyung watched his and your eyes meet before their eyes met. Seung-Woo quickly looked uncomfortably, not sparing you a second glance. You immediately became disappointed and it showed on your face.

“I guess he really didn’t like me.” You mumbled, slumping your shoulders.

Taehyung only smiled, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close to him. “Don’t mind that ass, y/n. Any guy would be dying to be with you if they knew what a knockout you really were.”

With you being heartbroken, it only left you in the arms of one guy and with other guys kept at bay, the rest of Taehyung’s high school years were great. There were a couple times when being with you made him want to tell the world how much he loved you. Like that evening in your room at your college celebration party. He was dying to kiss your lips and the way you stared at him, was further validation to do so but he was too chicken shit to do so. Taehyung always imagine some heartfelt romantic way of asking you to be his and he was willing to wait a little longer to do so.

It was only when you both entered college, his nightmares began. Like it always does, the semester started good until you met Hoseok. He seemed like a great person, treated you like a princess, but only Taehyung could treat you like the queen you deserved. He had to sit by and listen to how you use to gush about Hoseok, feeling his own heart break. It gave him actual nightmares in his dream state. He feared that you would leave him behind on the sidelines for Hoseok. That he would take his place in your life, not only as your lover, but as your best friend too.

As hurt as he was, he had to, once again, pursue another woman and act like he gave a damn about her. Sohyon was a great girl and had the body that most men dreamt about but Taehyung only dreamt about yours, imagining how it looked and felt naked next to his. Even though they occasionally slept together, he imagined it was you he was making love to.

That day in the cafeteria, however, left him feeling confused. He knew you were upset at the markings on his neck, it showed in your face, your body, and voice. Hell! He and Sohyon argued about it the day after it happened. She blamed him for fucking her too hard and what could he say to counter that? That night, he imagined it was you that he was fucking, punishing you for being with Hoseok and bringing him over. But in all, he hated the thought of you being hurt because of what another girl did and if it was up to him, he would have broken up with Sohyon immediately. After you left him behind, he felt compelled to go after you but his self doubt was invading his mind, planting all kinds of uncertainty. What if he was reading your feelings wrong and you really were meeting with a teacher? And if he did go after you, what was he going to say? I love you, break up withyour boyfriend?

Taehyung knew he was wrong and should have let you live comfortably dating Hoseok and he with Sohyon, but unfortunately he couldn’t. No matter how many lives were involved, none of them mattered in his life except for yours. Which was why he devised the ultimate plan to get rid of Hoseok and make you his for good.

“But why?” Sohyon cried into his chest. “Why do you want to break up? We’re good together.”

“Because my feelings for you have changed, Sohyon. You deserve someone that will give you ample amounts of genuine love and unfortunately, that person is not me.”

He broke the hold she had him to take a couple steps away. Sohyon cried even harder, slumping down on his couch and covering her face. She believed that it was fate that she met Taehyung. He wasn’t like any guy she had been with. He was smart, funny, and very thoughtful as well as captivating. He took an interest in her life when they were together and the topic of sex was never brought up. The only way they were together intimately was if she initiated it. But if she really paid close attention to their relationship, she would have noticed that his attentiveness and caring nature was sporadically given when company was around, more specifically you.

“But Tae Tae, I love you,” She sniffed. “Don’t you love me?”

“Honestly, I don’t. I can’t love you because-“

“Is it because of someone else?!” Her emotions suddenly changing to anger. “You cheated on me and now some other bitch has your love instead of me!”

Taehyung let out a sigh becoming rather annoyed at this exchange. This was one of reasons why he didn’t want to get involved with anyone else. But to keep his secrets hidden, he had no other choice otherwise you were sure to catch on. He didn’t care about anyone else’s feelings but for Sohyon’s sake, he was trying to let her down gently.

“I didn’t cheat on you but if you really want to know the truth, Yes, I am in love with someone else.”

“Who is she? Do I know her?”

“You’ve met her before.”

Sohyon thought hard on who it could be. Taehyung was very handsome so it was no secret that girls flocked to him. The real challenge was finding out which one of those girls managed to leave a lasting impression on his heart. But she the more she thought about it, the more she knew that he wasn’t easily persuaded into a relationship and whoever it was must have known him for a long time.

It was then that a lightbulb went off in her head. “Y/n...” she mumbled. “It’s y/n, isn’t it?”

The tears refilling her eyes. Sohyon knew she couldn’t compete against you. You held a special place in Taehyung’s heart, a spot she knew nobody else could fill except for you. It made since why he always talked about you or why his eyes seemed to light up with love whenever you were around. It wasn’t admiration or a close bond, it was love.

“Yes,” Taehyung finally admitted. “It’s y/n. It’s always been y/n, nobody else.”

“But does she love you, Tae Tae? Can she even return your feelings?! Y/n has a boyfriend and already seems happy in another relationship. Why take a chance on happiness when you have someone who loves and cherishes you?!”

“Because you are not her!” Taehyung lashed out, his patience finally gone. “And whether you want to hear it or not, your love will never be enough! So if I have to wait entire lifetime for her love, I will do so because her love is the only one I want.”

“But Tae Tae...”

“I’m sorry, Sohyon, but my mind is made up. It has been for years.”

She nodded, gathering all of her belongings to go. She paused, holding the doorknob in her hand. Sohyon turned around to face him one last time. “Y/n, is very lucky to have someone like you. Our love for you is a common bond that we both share; I’m sure her goes even further than mine. But in the case she doesn’t return your feelings, I’ll always be here for you.”

She smiled, walking out of the door and leaving Taehyung to himself. He scoffed, talking a seat on his couch talking to no one in particular.

“No, I’m lucky to have her.”

Now with Sohyon out of the way, Taehyung turned his attention on your relationship with Hoseok. He really needed to come up with a solid plan if he really wanted to be with you. Even thought he told Sohyon that he would wait an eternity, he didn’t plan on doing so. Taehyung felt he had waited enough and now it was time to move into action.

With your approval, he invited Hoseok out for a guy’s night on the town. At first it consisted of food and drinks at a local bar but in the course of the night, the destination to a club was added. While Hoseok waited by the bar, Taehyung searched for specific women that could help his plan unfold. Lucky for him, he found the perfect girl, standing off to the side by herself.

“Good Evening,” He greeted, earning a smile from her. “What’s a lovely girl like you standing here alone?”

“I’m waiting on my friends to come back. They went to the bathroom.”

“Ah I see... You look familiar; do you go to school around here?” Taehyung listened as she described her school’s name and located. Turns out, it was the same one he and Hoseok attended. Hwang Eunji, twenty, no boyfriend, in her sophomore year, studying psychology to be a therapist. She was the perfect girl that happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, meeting with the wrong guy to help ruin one happy couple.

Taehyung moved closer to whisper in her ear. “Do you mind if I steal you away from your friends for a bit? I promise you’ll have same amount of fun.”

“Sorry but I’m not interested.” She shot back.

“I’m not inviting you for myself,” he motioned with his hand on his chest, faking a hurt heart. “It’s for my friend. See, he’s had his eyes on you the entire night and I know he’s interested.”

“Then why doesn’t he approach me?”

“I’m afraid he’s getting over a bad break up and is scared of rejection.”

Eunji felt sympathy for him and decided to follow Taehyung to the bar. He was ecstatic to find out that Eunji was a classmate of Hoseok and had a crush on him. It seemed as though everything was working in his favor. He was more than happy to provide the drinks, making sure they were both inebriated enough not to blackout but to let their bodies take control. Now all Taehyung had to do was sit back and watch the disaster occur. He saw the drunken couple to a motel then headed home to play the concerned friend the next day.

As evil as it was, he went to bed that night with an all knowing smile on his face. His self conscience should have been eating at him. The guilt should have been overflowing through his mind, body, and soul but it wasn’t. Taehyung knew that for you to be without a care in the world, the love had to come from him.

When the time came, he expected you to be upset about the cheating but he never expected you to break down and want to be left alone. So without a second thought, he flew to your dorm to console you and also play the role of your loving best friend. He didn’t expect the conversation to take the route it did and fed off of the energy from his scared teenage years, admitting his feelings. At that moment in time, he thought back to all the talks with your father and his father as well. Both of them offered words of advice, telling him to pursue you if that was what he really wanted.

“But don’t hold on to y/n just because you’re scared to open up to someone else. I’m sure there are feelings on both sides but you two are also young. Take the time to date; there might be a special girl out there that will light up your world.” Your father always reminded him and he took his advice, exploring time with other women. But none of them held that special spark he felt when he was with you and that’s when Taehyung knew that special girl was you.

He was able to let go of all his worries and show you just how much you meant to him. When his lips finally got to touch yours, Taehyung felt fireworks go off. Everything about you, fit him perfectly like a lock and key. Making love to you for the first rebooted his love for you and he never wanted to leave your side. Now that you belonged to him, Taehyung felt a trapped in a state of euphoria that he never wanted to end. His dream had finally come true and now he was ready to show you what type of man he was.

And if he had to do it all again to make you fall in love with him, he would in a heartbeat. Nobody would understand why you had so much control over him; Taehyung didn’t even understand it himself. All he knew was that his heart chose you and that’s all that mattered in his world. But unbeknownst to you, you weren’t aware of measures and lengths Taehyung was willing to go to claim you as his and only his.

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samwell-actually · 6 years

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Holsom Fic-Rec

Although I have my all-time favorite OMGCP fic bookmarked on my Ao3 page, I wanted to compile a master list of all of my favorite OMGCP Ao3 fic to have in one place on my tumblr. And since I’m that neurotic, I thought it might also be nice to break-up each ship as well:

Two Minutes for Holding | halfabreath One-Shot, 2k Ransom is a team physician and Holster is a referee. They first meet on the ice during a particularly physical Aces v. Falcs game.

not funny | applecrumbledore One-Shot, 9k This whole thing feels so weird, like they're betraying some clause of the homosocial bro code that says it's only for fun, you can't actually be gay, like they're letting someone down. But on the other hand, being with each other is the most natural thing they've ever done. Like a chemical reaction, or two halves of something whole, or one of those hand puzzles where the two pieces of metal are all twisted around each other, or the logical and satisfying conclusion of a really good book.

Score | emmagrant01 One-Shot, 12k Ransom and Holster like to score goals for each other, and they like to take care of each other. It was probably just a matter of time before those two things became entangled.

What I Wanted Was to Fall Asleep | halfabreath One-Shot, 5k The gods are real, which everyone knows, but when they’re not fighting among themselves they’re usually partying and humans have generally learned to accept their meddling without too much complaining. Ransom just never thought he’d actually know someone who’d been god-touched and he never, ever expected that it would be Holster. Alternatively: Holster becomes a tree.

Five Things Adam Birkholtz Learns in HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships | EllyAvon Completed Multi-Chapter, 6k HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships is just the night class Holster is taking with Lardo to fulfill one of his core requirements. He doesn't expect it to drastically change his life. OR: The Weirdest Healthy Relationships PSA Ever. OR: Wholesome Holsom

In a Different Frame | sunfair One-Shot, 4k Holster is determined to become somebody's boyfriend. Too bad he's kind of an idiot. He figures it out, though.

BFFWB | emmagrant01 One-Shot, 7k Ransom's schedule this semester leaves no time for a sex life. Holster has a solution for that. (Set fall 2014)

Seasonal Drinks | rhysiana Completed Multi-Chapter, 1k An AU in which Ransom and Holster never met in college. Thank goodness for the local coffee shop.

someone as good for me as you | astrolesbian One-Shot, 7k “So tell me,” Justin’s mother says, all business, “is your boy going to propose?” “What, Jack?” Justin says, and doesn’t really think much of it, because his mother eats up the details of Jack and Bitty and JackandBitty like Holster eats up rom-coms. His mother sighs, and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “No, baby, I meant Adam.”

what is the meaning of this? | kleinergruenerkaktus Multi-Part Series, 13k Ransom has a system, and it was working just fine before Holster came along.

There Were Fireflies | Schuyler One-Shot, 3k Holster has never been weird about shit like this before. They’ve been friends for, what? Almost a decade? And Holster has never said anything bad about guys who date other guys. Hell, they lived in a house with Jack and Bits. But Ransom goes on two dates with a guy and Holster goes ballistic.

blink back to let me know | nighimpossible One-Shot, 4k Justin is a medical student in Boston and Holster is working in New York.Things were a lot easier before they became real people.

Here’s a Man in Evenin’ Clothes | halfabreath One-Shot, 5k Ransom's estimating that they've got another 3.75 hours until the last people trickle out of the Haus. 3.75 hours, 225 minutes.Holster grins, flushed and disheveled and handsome as Justin has ever seen him, and suddenly he knows he's not going to be able to wait another 225 minutes before kissing him. Or: Epikegster toga porn

Keep It | petals42_tumbler (rosepetals42) Completed Multi-Chapter, 18k At the start of their senior year, Ransom is dating March and Holster is okay. Of course he is. Except when he's not.

cabin fever | theghostofjamespotter One-Shot, 5k “Dude. You didn’t score a single goal.” He’s beaming, chin resting on Ransom’s thigh. “And you came in like, under five minutes.” or, the forfeit fifa fic no one has asked for. just bros being bros and somehow accidentally hooking up.

How to Romance a Hockey Player | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells One-Shot, 7k After Holster comes out, Ransom needs a plan. A plan to make his best friend fall in love with him. What could possibly go wrong?

the lucky ones | screamlet Completed Multi-Chapter, 17k They made the decision to drive to Myrtle Beach when Holster found the fucking sweetest cottage near the beach.

guard/hit/hammer | halfabreath One-Shot, 2k Justin Oluransi is a gold medalist, and he has no idea what he's doing. (Ransom and Holster's first kiss happens on a tiny couch on the world's biggest stage.)

first love, late spring | lehtonen One-Shot, 12k “Right.” Ransom still looks serious, but there’s a sinister glint in his eye that Holster gloomily recognises as contemplation. “What’s in it for us?”Holster whips his head round to stare at him so fast his neck twinges in three different places. “Nothing is in it for us,” he hisses sotto voce, “or did you not hear the part where we’d be dating?”

Ransom and Holster’s Guide to Shennanigans | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells One-Shot, 8k Ransom and Holster have been together since June, but they keep it low key. Maybe even a little too low key. Shenanigans ensue because, hey, it's awfully hard for the team to set them up when they've already been dating for months.

Just bros being bros | blue_eyed, growlery One-Shot, 7k Rans and Holster have a busy semester, so they start planning their bro-time. But its not like they're dating, right?

all my time is yours as is mine | halfabreath One-Shot, 1k No one knows how long Holster's been alive. No one knows how much time Ransom has left. Everyone knows about things. Not everyone has one, but everyone that does has a different word for it. Gifts. Abilities. Talents. Purpose. Superpowers. Quirks. Most things are small, but sometimes, in very rare circumstances, they’re all encompassing and terrifying. There’s a reason Ransom and Holster call them curses.

Give a Little Bit (of Your Time to Me) | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Completed Multi-Chapter, 21k In a world where Adam Birkholtz never went to Samwell, he loses a beer pong bet to Lardo and winds up refereeing a rec hockey game for one freshly broken-hearted Justin Oluransi. For once in his life, Justin is totally out of his league.

Adam Birkholtz's Foolproof Guide to the Perfect Birthday | akadiene One-Shot, 6k On March 28th, 2016, Justin Oluransi, co-captain of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team and love of Holster’s life, is turning 23. It's also the day Holster dies.

Always Halfway to Go | halfabreath Incomplete Multi-Chapter, 33k While at Samwell, Ransom gets a job at the Rec center teaching water aerobics. Generally his class is filled to the brim with old ladies and their husbands, so he’s shocked to arrive at class at the beginning of the semester and find Adam Birkholtz, ex-hockey player, who’s there to supplement his physical therapy with gentle cardio.Things only get more complicated from there.

Detachment Studies | Tiptoe39 Completed Multi-Chapter, 4k A soulmate doesn't always mean a lover. But it does mean an attachment that's hard when it breaks. Luckily, there's the field of detachment studies -- how to mitigate the cognitive damage done when one loses a soulmate. Ransom's going to become a specialist in the field and prove that there's life after detachment. And he's going to practice what he preaches -- by leaving his own soulmate behind.

Salt-Mates | orphan account One-Shot, 4k Losing is dog in the park, Adam Birkholtz is pretty sure he's about to experience his worst day. Until he finds his dog sat quietly with a gorgeous man on a bench, a Harry Potter book in his hand, giving a lecture to the animal about the tragedy that befell Remus Lupin. That's when things get a little bit...strange.

This is Why We’re Medical Proxies | SecretGeniusShittyKnight One-Shot, 4k Holster gets sick. Then he gets a hospital stay. Then he gets high. Then he gets a boyfriend.

pH balance | alcatraz One-Shot, 2k “I can’t believe you have a crush on a white boy who unironically wears cut-off sweatpants,” she says gleefully. “This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.”

Have We Been Boyfriends This Whole Time? | rhysiana One-Shot, 1k Post-college socializing is harder to organize than Ransom expected. Fortunately, his best bro is there for him. In every way.

Future Perfect | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Completed Multi-Chapter, 14k WANTED: COMMITTED MONOGAMOUS COUPLES Are you and your significant other in a committed, monogamous relationship? Have you been dating for at least six months? Are you living together? If you meet these criteria (and you are at least 18 years old), you may be eligible to participate in a COMPENSATED study (up to $300) on love and decision making. Please call 617-555-7864 or email [email protected]. The moment he sees the sign, Holster knows he's struck gold. The only problem is, he and Ransom aren't technically dating. But who are romance and technicalities to stand in the way of a business scheme that's bound to go according to plan?

Tailspinners | rhysiana One-Shot, 1k In which Holster runs a literacy non-profit, Ransom is a pediatrician new to town, and Bitty is the Youth Services librarian who brings them together.

don we now our fake romances | DizzyRedhead One-Shot, 4k Justin notices that Holster is looking a little run-down. But there's no problem that their awesome broness can't solve. Right?

wanna be your romeo | leetlebird Completed Multi-Chapter, 50k Holster's always said 'fuck the lax bros,' but when he meets Ransom, a new transfer student on the lacrosse team, Holster realizes he wants to be a gentleman and date a lax bro first. (Ransom doesn't think Holster's too bad, either.) As Ransom and Holster navigate their own secret relationship, their teams band together to get Nursey and Dex to stop fighting by any means necessary - even if that means setting them up on a date. (Romeo and Juliet AU + Much Ado about Nothing AU. Dramatic misunderstandings can only be solved with One Direction, secret make-out sessions, snickerdoodles, Jerry's dates, and - finally - some communication.)

Literary Inspirations | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Multi-Part Series, 15k The possibilities of life are infinite, but time is not. Certain things, like college years, like hockey careers, like the time for your best friend to fall in love with you, have expiration dates. Justin's just afraid he's missed his chance.

the masculinisation and romanticisation of art criticism through the framework of sports-related injuries (or, gross and beautiful) | heyfightme One-Shot, 2k ransom is a gross pre-med hockey boy. holster indulges him. art is created.

The One with All the Kissing | halfabreath One-Shot, 2k In which Holster messes up, gets way more action than he anticipates, and really is Chandler.

The New Ref | rhysiana One-Shot, 1k Ransom is the on-call emergency dentist at the Falconers' games. Holster is the new ref. Lardo and Shitty are matchmaking busybodies.

The World Still Spins | lecrivaineanonyme One-Shot, 5k Justin had first learned about the theory of paradigm shifts back in junior year during his class on the history and philosophy of science. It was just another definition for one of the short answers in the midterm exam: a fundamental change in the basic concepts of and experimental practices within a given scientific discipline. It was a benign factoid to be stored away, something to be revisited in a later essay: compare and contrast the views of Thomas Kuhn and Karl Popper on the scientific process. He hadn’t understood just how jarring such a fundamental shift could be until he broke up with Adam. (Happy ending!)

Homecoming | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells One-Shot, 10k Each December, Justin brings Holster home for Christmas. Each time, it means something new.

Division One Defense Duo To Reunite Saturday | the ghostofjamespotter One-Shot, 1k Flyers Defenseman Justin Oluransi will play against Adam Birkholtz of the Pittsburgh Penguins, for the first time since the two were college D-partners.

Bittle Birkholtz Brousins | halfabreath Multi-Part Series, 19k When Eric Bittle is 8 years old his Aunt Judy marries a Northeasterner named Jacob Birkholtz and suddenly he’s not the weirdest cousin anymore, it’s this gangly 12 year old named Adam who Did Not Want to move to Georgia and now they’re stuck in the same town together.

Bull City Blues | rhysiana Incomplete Multi-Chapter, 11k In which Ransom chooses Duke for medical school, the boys move to Durham, and Holster has to figure out what to do with his life.

One Dance | palateens Complete Multi-Chapter, 7k If he remembers any part of them making out and promptly passing out on the couch the next morning, he doesn’t mention it. Justin would rather avoid making things weird with his best friend while he’s still searching for his soulmate. She’s out there somewhere, and she’s everything he’s ever dreamed of.

The Final Rose | Tintinnabulation_of_the_Bells Incomplete Multi-Chapter, 7k Justin Oluransi quits his job and goes on the reality dating TV show The Bachelor looking to find love. It should be simple, but what he finds is nothing he (or Bachelor host Adam Birkholtz) could ever have imagined of in their wildest dreams.

#holsom #holsom fanfic #omgcp fanfic #fanfic #omgcp #omg check please #check please

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evak-fic-rec-turtleanon · 5 years

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Evak Fics - Friends to Lovers

The Friends to Lovers list. Includes tropes: Roommates, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends with Benefits. Some of these overlap. WIPs. Childhood friends fics are in a seperate list. Under a read more:

***** ROOMMATES *****

i could not want you more than i did right then by chasingflower (1.4k words) - “Isak?” Even calls, sounding faintly amused. Isak groans again in response, and he hears muffled snickering by the door frame. “Any particular reason that you’re on my bed?” Isak groans again. "I’m not moving.” Even moves and sits at the end of his bed, gaze fixed on Isak’s face. “But, as I’ve said, it’s my bed.” “My day was fucked, Even,” Isak whines, and rolls over to give Even a pout. “I’m tired and I don’t want to move. It’s my bed now.”

I'm Yours by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (1.7k words) - Another Friday night, another shitty date.

a little crazy by wyoheartsmusic (3k words) - Isak is shipped off to boarding school by his parents but he doesn't mind all that much. Maybe his new roommate has something to do with that.

Falling in Love under twinkle lights and blanket forts by Bellakitse (4.5k words) - Where Isak and Even are roommates; Isak is in love and Even is a romantic nerd who builds blanket forts.

loving you to sleep by orphan_account (5.3k words) - Even and Isak cuddle a lot, and love each other a whole lot.

Make me like you by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (7.7k words) - There are five things to know about kollektivet; 1. Eskild (thinks he) knows everything. 2. Linn steals food. 3. Even steals clothes. 4. Isak is never home. 5. Not a straight person in sight. Even would be fine with four if Isak weren’t so cute

and they were roommates! by evak1isak (8.7k words) - Isak has never been that fond of Even Bech Næsheim, although all of his friends adore him. Will being roommates change their relationship?

This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do.

Don't you let me go by shinystar66 (12k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth.

never make him (love me) by pansexuaIeven (14k words) - Isak is in love with Even. Even isn’t in love with Isak. Or so Even thinks. Includes Julian Dahl

Evoke by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (16k words) - Isak and Even are roommates attending the Norwegian Academy of Music. Isak is an enigma until their sleepless nights are no longer spent alone.

And after that and after that by Teatrolley (18k words) - It's working for them. In some sense of the word, at least, it’s working for them. They’re exes, sure, but they’re friends first, and Isak can ignore the feelings and the jealousy, too. It's working. Then Sonja and Even break up.

Guess for once i can't pretend by henriksen (19k words) - Even started to go to the gym and Isak was totally cool with it. pining. isak has a dildo

wait for me to come home by allyasavedtheday (35k words) - New Girl au

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas by Teatrolley (48k words) - Isak moves out of his parent’s house when he’s sixteen and it’s fine, really, most of the time it’s fine. It’s just Decembers. Goddamn Decembers. They’re not exactly his favourite time of the year. This time, though: this time he think there’s someone who has it worse than he does. On the first of December that year, Even moves in.

***** Fake/Pretend Relationship *****

In the Eye of the Beholder by HazyCosmicJive (2.3k words) - After weeks of Even using him as a 'muse' and refusing to let him see it Isak is attending Even's first art exhibit. And to make it all worse he's going as his fake boyfriend, which wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't hopelessly in love with him.

Family Dinner - SKAM Fic Week Day 1 by bashfulisak (2.8k words) - Isak needs a date for a family dinner and he kinda lies, telling his parents he'll bring a boyfriend. Even is his one option.

I'll Come With My Boyfriend by bashfulisak (3k words) - wedding guests. isak is kind of in love with even -- isak kind of asks even to be his pretend boyfriend

with you i'm in warm water by shadesofcool (4k words) - Even might've gotten himself into a situation where he has to pretend to be in love with Isak. It wouldn't be so difficult if he hadn't been trying to pretend like he wasn't in love with him for years.

Every Day You're Here, I'm Healing by foryouareeverywhere (4.1k words) - also roommates. Isak having a health scare causes Even to reevaluate exactly what he wants in life.

my longing drives me crazy for you by orphan_account (7.7k words) - pining. isak’s mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak

would it be a sin if i can't help falling in love with you? by cosetties (18k words) - “I mean, I already have a thing with – “ Isak waves his hand in the air. Conjuring up a girl should be way easier than this. Magnus had a girlfriend at Bakka for three months, and Isak doubts that she ever existed. All Isak has to do is make up a name, but his mouth dries up. He clears his throat. “A thing with – “ “Even,” the guy says, extending his hand for Emma to shake.

Homecoming by DickAnderton (82k words) - Even has a habit of making a mess out of things. Isak is just a little bit too idealistic. Neither of them has felt at home in a long time. Until they meet each other, jump into a fake relationship, and suddenly there's nowhere they'd rather be. demisexuality

***** Friends with Benefits *****

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4.1k words) - a Friends with benefits to Lovers AU.

It's time for us by kaleidxscope (10k words) - “What are we?” Isak asks, looking up at Even from behind his eyelashes. Even's frowning like he hasn’t heard Isak. Maybe he hasn’t with how low his voice was. “If we’re not best friends, what are we?” “So we’re just Isak and Even?” “We’re just Isak and Even.” DELETED i think :(

you're the shit and i'm knee-deep in it by cosetties (11k words) - After Even has already rejected him once, after Isak is aware of Even's reputation for meaningless one-night stands, the last thing Isak should be doing is sleeping with the guy. But it keeps happening, and there's no way Isak is getting out of this with his heart intact.

Creatures Of Habit by NeonViolet (18k words) - Even gets hurt and ends up in the hospital. pining.

Alright, hold on by nofeartina (24k words) - neighbors. 5 times Isak and Even accidentally have sex and 1 time it isn’t so accidental.

A Fucking Bet by Crazyheart (32k words) - Isak and Even are just friends. They make a bet and decide to fuck only five times and then go back to being friends again. Isak hopes that he might be able to fuck his crush out of his system, once and for all. Who knows what Even’s motives are.

if i knew it were true by smokeshop (orphan_account) (52k words) - They've both been broken. Even hates his brain and Isak hates his life, and the past is always lurking. Friends With Benefits AU where Isak loves Even and Even loves Isak, but they're afraid to make it work.

It'll never mean the same to you by Zabn (79k words) - Isak and Even became best friends within just a few weeks, they simply kind of clicked from the very first second - after Isak had embarrased himself of course. Everything goes fine between the two boys 'til three words mean suddenly more to Isak than they do to Even.

***** FRIENDS to LOVERS *****

Like A Champ by wyoheartsmusic (1k words) - Even sends Isak a link.

Sometimes Taking A Risk Will Turn Out Just Fine by isakspeach (1.3k words) - Even and Isak are best friends. he's dating Sonja but loves Isak

Slowly Starts Sinking In by bri_ness (1.4k words) - After a Christmas party, Isak and Eva consider their feelings for their friends. bonus Nooreva

powerslide by evak1isak (1.6k words) - Summer is boring and Jonas teaches Isak how to skate. And at the park, Isak meets Even.

What picking cherries will get you by nofeartina (1.7k words) - - “Do you have plans this weekend?” Isak asks. Even squints at him, isn’t really sure why he’s the one Isak’s asking when the rest of their friends are there. They’ve never really been the best of friends. Even knows why that is, knows why he’s kept Isak just out of reach. He’s pretty sure Isak isn’t doing it for the same reasons he is, though.

souls tend to go back to who feels like home by mels (1.7k words) - - Isak and Even are crushing on the same boy, trying to get his attention and win him over in various ways - and some might go to more extreme lengths than others.

Don't you see what you are finding? by kaleidxscope (2.4k words) - This is Heaven in hiding. Three times Isak gets frustated by Even and one he makes a move.

when i’m close to you (we blend into my favourite colour) by Behindthecities (2.5k words) - 5 times Isak forgets that he’s not dating Even and the 1 time he does something about it.

Schroedinger's Safety by Stria (Asia117) (2.6k words) - trans character. In the end, even if Isak has always kind of been the one setting the pace of their relationship, it’s Even to make that step.

Date? by frenc (2.7k words) - Even has a date on Sunday. And he asks his best friend Isak for help.

Please Know That I'm Yours to Keep by pressurerin (2.9k words) - Hogwarts au. "Remember how I was making amortentia for my final potions project? Well, Isak ate some. And now…” Even gestured towards the way Isak was currently trying to lick his neck.

Only You Can Feel What You Feel by dvorahbee (4.3k words) - Even has been dating Sonja for two years now and everything is great. Except they haven't had sex yet and Sonja is persistent. What if Even is not actually as in love with his girlfriend as he'd first thought? What if instead of going through having sex with her, he falls for a boy? And what if this boy makes Even realise he might not be entirely straight, after all? Alex Strangelove au

Handcuff Your Way To My Heart by sugarbeat24 (4.3k words) - Isak and Even work at Buzzfeed and are roped into doing a video together. Lots of "oh my gods" and eyerolls ensue.

underneath the shooting stars by evenskindness for starslag (4.6k words) - Even can’t exactly pinpoint the moment he fell in love with Isak Valtersen. He just knows that it happened. Somewhere between late night talks, stupid memes, walking instead of taking a tram because that way they’d have more time to chat, friendly touches, comforting each other when life sucked the most, laughing at the most ridiculous inside jokes and friendly banter, somewhere between all that, Even just fell. And boy, it just happened like it was the easiest thing Even had ever done in his life. stargazing

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Just Kids When We Fell In Love by wyoheartsmusic (5k words) - Isak and Even go to university 3000 km away from each other. Luckily, it's Christmas break and they had the brilliant idea to go on a cabin trip together.

It's just a little crush by samgreenstorm (6.5k words) - Even is not staring, he is not. Isak can talk to whoever he wants, even when the other guy looks like a model and they seem to be having the time of their lives. featuring a couple of remake characters

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted.

Just not right now by cuteandtwisted (8.1k words) - Isak settles into an unhealthy longterm relationship with his busy lawyer boyfriend and convinces himself that happiness is not for him. Enter his boyfriend's childhood friend: Even. MedicalResident!Isak and Artist!Even. no cheating

bloom by Skamtrash (8.2k words) - Isak talks too much and likes Even, Even smokes too much and likes silence. shameless flirting, defending against bullies, a lot of making out and a lot of love.

Make the Yuletide Gay by Sabeley (8.4k words) - Isak has been pining after Even for months. Jonas and Eva decide that a romantic getaway at the cabin is exactly what the two boys need to confess their feelings to each other.

5 Star Review by hannahhhunt (8.9k words) - Isak stays in Even's Airbnb, but Even accidentally comes back a day early. Banter, pining, and months of flirty texting ensue.

Merry Kiss My Ass (under the mistletoe) by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (9.8k words) - Working in retail during the holiday season is a nightmare. Especially when Isak has to work right alongside his just friend and not at all crush, Even. Among freaky customers, secret santa presents and constant reminders of his one night of passion with Even, Isak doesnt know if he'll make it to the new year. If only he could figure out who was behind all the random mistletoes he keeps finding...

finding where the sun sleeps by noeller (10k words - Isak’s heart is broken. Even thinks his brain is, too. Running away from their problems seems like the obvious solution. Road trip au

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty.

it's mostly butterflies by hippopotamus (11k words) - “I’ve told you before,” Isak says, without looking up at Even. “The modern world relies on science and technology, Even. There’s no place for magic, it’s dangerous and unnecessary.” Little does he know, Even’s a witch.

Get Rid of Her by cuteandtwisted (14k words) - "Even was angry and Emma was tugging at Isak’s sleeve demanding attention. Even had never been angry at him before, not even when he spoke recklessly of his mother’s mental health, or when he threw up on the older boy’s bed that one night he got too drunk and couldn’t make it home." Even still transfers to Nissen in his third year, but Isak and Even get introduced through their parents.

Never be the same by nofeartina (14k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex? It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying.

Dancing In The Dark by marileal (16k words) - Isak moves to Bakka and Even must be his friend. They're in love but don't admit it. Lots of study dates, kebabs and stolen kisses.

Don't Hold Your Breath by bechvaltersen (16k words) - Isak hates how he feels about Even, knows it could possibly ruin his friendship forever if he was to ever find out. But he doesn't ever wonder, what if Even feels the same?

turn my blue heart to red by allyasavedtheday (16k words) - “Did I scare you?” Even asks teasingly, waggling his eyebrows as he leans casually against the counter beside Isak. “Never,” Isak scoffs, sending a fierce scowl in Jonas’ direction when he catches him smirking at them both. Jonas is under the ridiculous impression he and Even have a crush on each other which is not true. doctor au. pining

Sliding Doors by ultimatelawrence (18k words) - In one universe Isak just misses the train, in another he just makes it on time. Who knew that a split second, a pair of sliding doors, could send his life going in such dramatically different directions. But what if there’s something that’s always meant to happen in every universe? Sliding Door au. multiverse theory. set in london. parrallel universe

something sweet (to mend your heart) by cuteandtwisted (22k words) - In which Isak becomes jaded after he gets cheated on and copes using sarcasm and humor. He's determined to end the school year without drama and avoids his ex and all his awful friends at all costs. Well, all of them except maybe half-decent Even Bech Næsheim, who's somehow determined to earn his friendship and fix his heart.

Nothing Softer Or More Flexible by colazitron (27k words) - strangers to friends to lovers. Even is suffering from writer's block. Given that he has to write and film a short film on love (Love! A subject he loves!) that's not ideal. He finds unlikely inspiration in an old essay from one Isak V.

You say good morning when it's midnight by Aceteroid (28k words) - It sucks, when your best friend is on a student exchange at the other end of the world for three months. It sucks even more, when you fall in love with the step-brother of his exchange student.

I am Yours and You are Mine by dvorahbee (28k words) - Isak's starting his second year at Nissen, his friends, Jonas, Mahdi and Even, are back from their summer holidays, everything is completely normal. Except. Even's got himself a new girlfriend. Isak doesn't know how to deal with these newborn feelings he seems to be having for Even

Fate is Just Like That by KeriJoh1515 (29k words) - Isak spends almost every day with his mom at the hospital where she is being treated, what if one day he sees a boy another patient and his life is never the same again.

Under the mistletoe by mazarin01 (29k words) - Isak (23) and Even (24) have been best friends since junior high. The holiday is upon them. Isak hates Christmas, having lots of bad memories attached to the holiday. Even on the other hand loves Christmas, but because of an appendix removal and a closed off mountain pass, he never gets home for Christmas. Being the best friend Isak is, he invites Even to celebrate Christmas with him. Circumstances have them kiss under a mistletoe and neither of them expected the kiss to feel that good...

we can hurt together by skam2607 (35k words) - Isak is an actor and Even is a director. They both worked together in a film which also launched them. They are friends but Even wants to be more than friends. Isak does too but is afraid and insecure.

This Love Has No Ceiling by photographer_of_thoughts (45k words) - On his seventeenth birthday, Isak did three things. He cut his hair, he gave himself a new name and he changed his gender from ‘female’ to ‘male.’ In his third year, Even finds himself needing his wheelchair more days than not. It’s the year his supply of optimism begins to dwindle. But it’s also the year he meets the man of his dreams: Isak Valtersen.

Can it Stay Between Us by photographer_of_thoughts (46k words) - Before Even starts his last year of high school, he moves to a farm in a small, remote town well outside the city limits of Oslo. Even's father thinks the country life will help him escape his past - the chaos of last year - but all the move has done is make him feel isolated. But then Even meets Isak, the pastor's son who lives on the next farm over, and life suddenly doesn't seem as lonely anymore.

stay a minute by grinsekaetzchen (50k words) - In which there is a tumblr fandom that is dying every time new information for said version of 'Romeo and Juliet' drops, Even is a beloved director and Isak - well, Isak would just really appreciate it if his mind would stop surprising him with memories at the worst moments possible.

Though our parts are slightly used by Teatrolley (54k words) - Isak is pining for Jonas, and Even is pining for Mikael. Jonas and Mikael are dating. Isak and Even meet.

a risk worth taking by panshambles (69k words) - Isak starts a new graduate programme after he drops out of med school, and meets other grad entry, Even. They’re colleagues but they can’t date. Right? Runner Isak. Remake characters appear - DELETED

Therefore I Am by smokeshop (orphan_account) (98k words) - The one thing Isak wants is to move on from his high school mistakes. Even spends his time pining after a boy who will never like him back. The last thing either of them expect is to wind up in bed together, but that's exactly what happens.

til slutt så er du helt alene by panshambles (112k words) - Even transfers to Nissen. He’s still friends with the balloon squad. he hasn’t been diagnosed with bipolar - DELETED

The Cuddle Snuggle App by Crazyheart (124k words) - Halfway through Even's third year, he is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. When Isak is 16, he moves away from his troubled mother. Both boys have turned their lives upside down, and their new lives are more or less lonely and touch deprived. They meet when Even downloads a cuddler app (mostly for his film project, but also because he needs the touch) and Isak becomes his professional cuddler. They are both determined to keep the cuddling friendly and platonic, but it proves to be difficult...

********** WIPs **********

Storm Before The Calm by NeonViolet (88k words) - last update Sept 2018. Coming of age story as Isak navigates what he’s been taught to believe and what he actually believes. Learning to love himself and falling in love in the process

take me to the stars by iriswests (230k words) - Isak thinks Even is pretentious and impractical. Even thinks Isak is arrogant and uptight. They’re not each other’s biggest fans, even if they do happen to have spectacular sex on a very, very drunken night. And Isak doesn’t mean to do it again, but he does, anyway, so now they’re establishing ground rules and deciding that maybe they can keep doing this, no strings attached, no commitments, no feelings, and, most importantly, no need to stop disliking each other. And then it’s not quite that simple anymore. (LOVE THIS FIC!)

#evak fic rec #skam fic rec #friends to lovers

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ayaanle-yuusuf · 3 years

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When I first got into this business gold was selling for around $300 an ounce. Gold went as high as $1900 an ounce and today gold is selling for over $1,200 an ounce and experts forecast it to go higher – much higher! I have seen forecasts by reliable writers that Gold could reach as high as $5000 an ounce in coming years.

The United States is the largest jewelry market in the world and millions of Americans have old, broken or just out-of-fashion pieces of jewelry sitting in their jewelry boxes. Just last week my wife came across a single 18K gold erring. She lost the other earring in the set about ten years ago and the remaining earring has just been sitting in her jewelry box since then. I put the earring on my gold scale and it weighed 8 grams. At today’s prices that one earring was worth over $300 –which is more than she paid for the pair ten years ago.

There is literally a fortune in gold –billions of dollars worth, sitting around collecting dust. But the high price of gold today is bringing it out of the woodwork. And all you have to do to get your piece of the pie is to ask.

You might be wondering how long this business can last. I recently spoke with the owner of a large gold refining company and I asked him how long this business could continue. He said:

“Every year all the refining companies in the US combined refine less than one percent of all the scrap gold jewelry in the country. And new jewelry sales grow over five percent a year. So there is pretty much an endless supply. We have been in this business for 33 years and we expect to be doing this for at least another 33 years.”

How much can I make buying gold?

Unscrupulous gold dealers like the ones that advertise on radio and TV ask you to mail your gold in to them. They typically pay between 10% and 20% of the value of gold. Most pawnshops pay about 30% to 35%.

Legitimate dealers pay between 40% and 65%. 40% to 65% may seem low to you, but remember, the gold you buy has to be smelted, refined, assayed and poured into ingots before it can be resold. Refiners who do this will pay you between 85% and 92% of the spot price of gold.

Lets look at a typical sale. The average person tends to bring in three or four items that altogether weigh about 2 ounces. Most items people bring me are 14K gold which is 58% pure gold and the rest is alloys to lend gold its color and hardness.

Two ounces at 58% works out to 1.16 ounces of pure gold. Lets say for example you pay that person 50%, which is typical of most legitimate gold dealers. At $1400 an ounce, that comes out to $812. Now you send the gold to a refiner who will pay you 95% of the spot price. I will let you do the math, but this works out to a very nice profit from just one transaction. Many experts predict that gold will go as high as $5000 an ounce. I don’t know if that will happen, but imagine how profitable this business will be if it does.

Do that 3 or 4 times a week and you are looking at some real money! And it’s 100% legal.

Skip McGrath’s book on gold buying is amazing. He also has extremely good one on one support. He cares about his customers. Thanks Skip! ~ Michael

Where do you find people with Gold to sell?

I live in a small town of about 12,000 people. I was driving to the supermarket on a recent Saturday and saw several signs that said: “Cash for Gold and Silver Today at the Majestic Hotel.” After I left the market, I drove over to the Majestic Hotel to see what was going on.

There was a gentleman in one of the meeting rooms off of the lobby with a table, a scale and calculator and a cash box. He was meeting with a lady while two more people waited their turn. I didn’t want to bother him, but the lady who works at the reception desk is a friend of mine, so I asked her how he was doing. She told me he has had a steady stream of customers all day. Imagine if each person brought in just one ounce of gold and he saw 20 or 30 people that day. That is a huge amount of money

There are two factors driving the gold business today:

A recovering, but still tough economy with millions of people out of work

Relatively high prices for gold and silver

The gold business has always been a good business, but nothing like it has been since 2008 when gold prices started rising as the economy began the downturn. These two facts have combined to bring millions of people out of the woodwork with gold to sell. Either they need cash, or they just want to take advantage of today’s high prices.

It is very easy to find these people. You can set up in a hotel room like the person in the example above. You can advertise in local papers or even on radio. You can also advertise for free on sites such as Craigslist. Another popular method is using door hangars. You can get them made for about 2-cents each and hire school kids to hang them for you. But none of these methods work as well as one simple, low cost advertising method I am going to show you in one of your free bonuses.

Do you like to travel? A couple of years ago I met an older gentleman and his wife who roam the country in an RV, buying gold at every town they stop in. They even have a sign on the side of their RV that they buy gold and people come up to them in the RV parks.

Gold Parties are a booming business

One of the things I show you how to do with my system is throw gold parties. You have all heard of home parties for Tupperware, cosmetics or cooking gadgets. Well at those parties people spend money. When people attend a gold party they make money! If you can get 10 people to a gold party you can buy several ounces of gold, -potential profit of up to 45% on each ounce And the hostess, who put on the party, will get 10% of what you make. Now that’s what I call a “win-win.”

My system includes complete instructions on hosting a gold party of your own and how to market gold parties to others. Besides the instructions I have also included flyers, brochures, ads and invitations. All of these are in simple Word docs, so all you have to do is add your contact information an

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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Make Money Buying And Selling Gold

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/make-money-buying-and-selling-gold/

Make Money Buying And Selling Gold

Buy Now

By: Skip McGrath, Updated November 2017 Most of you know me for my books about selling on eBay and Amazon, but I have done a lot of other things in my life too. One of them is buying and selling scrap gold.

Gold is recovering nicely – Could it go to $3000 an ounce?

You might be wondering how long this business can last. I recently spoke with the owner of a large gold refining company and I asked him how long this business could continue. He said:

How much can I make buying gold?

Do that 3 or 4 times a week and you are looking at some real money! And it’s 100% legal.

Skip McGrath’s book on gold buying is amazing. He also has extremely good one on one support. He cares about his customers. Thanks Skip! ~ Michael

Where do you find people with Gold to sell?

There are two factors driving the gold business today:

A recovering, but still tough economy with millions of people out of work

Relatively high prices for gold and silver

Gold Parties are a booming business

What kind of gold do you buy?

Here is a list of some of the gold pieces I see every day:

Outdated jewelry

Broken or bent items

Gold chains

Class rings

Bracelets

Pins

Broaches

Wedding or engagement ring from an ex-spouse

Retirement pins

Watches

Tangled bracelets and chains

Wedding bands

Items with missing stones

Single earrings

Those giant earrings from the 80’s

That promise ring from the ex-boyfriend you would like to forget about.

If you are a woman reading this, I bet you have one or more of these in your closet or jewelry box. If you are a man, just show this to your wife or girlfriend and they will tell you how common this is.

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Is this only about buying jewelry?

There is no question that jewelry is the easiest, most plentiful market to do this in. But I am also going to show you how to make money from discarded electronics including cell phones, stereos, computers, microwave ovens and more.

Last week I was donating some things to our local thrift shop. When I arrived the helper was in the process of throwing several older electronic items in the dumpster. I asked why he was doing that and he said “Well they don’t work so we can’t sell them. “ I asked if I could have them. One of the devices was a ten-year-old tower computer and the other was a cassette tape deck and amplifier.

With about 30 minutes and a screwdriver I recovered almost $200 worth of gold from just those two items. Most of you won’t want to bother with this aspect of the business because buying jewelry is so easy, but there are plenty of people who make over $1000 a week collecting and taking old electronics pieces apart and sending the parts to refiner who will pay them 80% of the spot gold price.

You can even get these items for free. Just advertise that you recycle old electronic items and people with bring them to you rather than taking them to the dump.

How much money do I need to get started in this business?

You will need a gold scale, a gold testing kit and a couple of simple tools. All of this will cost less than $30.

You will have to spend about $25 to $50 on local advertising to find your first few customers.

Lastly you will need some cash to purchase your gold. I would say you would need about $500 to buy your first few pieces. But don’t worry. If you don’t have that, I will show you two ways to get started with no cash at all and bootstrap your way to your first few sales.

Skip: What does your system include?

Here is what you get:

50 page eBook, How to Make Money Buying and Selling Gold. – My book contains everything you need to get started. Please Note: My eBooks are set to allow printing. You can print it out on your computer printer, or you can send the file to a local copy shop and they will print and bind a copy for you.

Bonus Resource – A bonus package that contains all of the ads, flyers and invitations you need to market your business. It would cost you hundreds of dollars to create these from scratch.

Bonus Resource – My personal list of refiners who will pay between 92% – 96% for your gold

Bonus Report – Tools of the Trade

Bonus Report – Sandwich Board Advertising

My No Questions Asked, 100%, 60-day Money-back guarantee!

OK– How Much does it cost?

My complete Gold Buying Training System only costs $37!

One more bonus: I am going to give you a very short, but free report that shows you a fail-safe local advertising method that will cost you $38 for every 1000 people who receive it and can generate generous returns for each dollar you spend.

0 notes

the-chubbiest-dumpling · 7 years

Text

Endings and Beginnings: Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen: Rescue

Summary: You’re just an ordinary 25-year-old photographer working in a small studio in downtown Toronto. Your life is as normal as it could possibly be, except the fact that you are given an opportunity most people only dream of.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 14 600

Warnings: Swearing, violence, torture

A/N: Tbh even though this is over 14k this is the fastest chapter I’ve written yet (4 days). I’m surprised I kept at it everyday 😅

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Epilogue

Tags: @shamvictoria11 @blazeshira

“Tony do something!” you scream, desperate for his help. But he can’t do anything. In a last ditch attempt, you go running out with your arm stretched, reaching for Maeve’s hand. But it’s too late. Snyders flies up into the air, and leaves you a parting gift as well: an upgraded flash grenade. You’re sent flying back inside, and land hardly on the floor. You yell as you push yourself up and run outside again, even if you can’t see. Snyders flies up into the sky, taking Maeve with him, leaving you standing there helpless, useless, as he takes his prize.

You can’t believe this. You cannot believe your eyes. You cannot believe that your best friend just got kidnapped by a complete lunatic in front of your own eyes and you couldn’t do anything to help her. Your chest feels heavy, and your legs weak. You feel like you’ve just let the entire world down. You kneel down on the cement, the amount of guilt physically weighing you down. You hold your face in your hand, and scream in fury. You’ve never wanted to kill somebody so badly in your entire life. Hot tears wet your cheeks as you rock back and forth, reeling with anger.

Your resolve couldn’t be more clear.

Lowering your hand, you glare at the horizon line and stand up, wiping your years away. You know you can’t just leave her in the possession of a potential mass murderer and innovator of weapons of mass destruction. He said you’d come rescue her.

That’s exactly what you’re going to do.

You turn around and storm back inside the Tower, glowering at Tony and Natasha.

“I’m going to bring her back,” you say hardly, leaving no room for discussion. “Whatever it takes. And no one’s going to stop me.”

“We weren’t planning on stopping you, _______,” Natasha says gently. “We’re going to help.”

“Who was that guy, anyway?” Tony asks curiously. You’re shocked that he’s asking such a thing after what just happened. Tony recognizes your confusion and continues. “He asked you if you knew who he was. And you did. Who was he, _______?”

“Marko Snyders,” you sigh, looking away. You cross your arms and stare at the floor. “He was the target of my solo mission. An enthusiastic fanboy of weapons of mass destruction and has a love for the black market. S.H.I.E.L.D. was supposed to have him in custody. He’s probably making those kinds of weapons by now.”

“Of course,” Tony scoffs, shaking his head. “Of course they give you the shadiest target to apprehend. Now look what’s happened.”

“I know,” you agree. “But I can’t dwell on that now. I need to get Maeve back. Is that new suit ready for a field test? And can you track that son of a bitch? We need to get a read on him right now. I have no clue where he’s going or have any idea about where he’d take her for that matter. So we need to–”

“_______,” Natasha interrupts, walking towards you slowly. “Firstly you need to get your head fixed. Then we can–“

“I don’t give a fuck about myself right now,” you snap. Natasha doesn’t flinch. “What matters right now is Maeve. And if you’re not willing to go after her this very moment, then I’ll do it myself.”

“And then what?” Tony asks harshly. You stop in your tracks as you begin to walk away. “You’re gonna go out on a limb and just start searching this entire city? The next? You need to calm down and think, _______. Like you said, you have no idea where she is or where he could be taking her.”

“Exactly! That’s why–“

“I wasn’t finished,” Tony interjects again. “I said you have no idea where she is. But I do.”

Your heart stops and for a second you want to start crying again. But you stop yourself from doing so. You give Tony an extremely sad expression, which prompts him to go on.

“Whatever he used to shut down the systems,” he says, walking towards the minibar, “–didn’t last for very long. It’s a mystery in itself how something could override my technology, but we’re going to look past that. Instead, we can track him.”

Tony presses the exact same button he did when everything was shut down, and this time, multiple projections of blue lines fill the room. You move away so you can see it in its entirety, and wonder how the hell this is supposed to help you all find Maeve. Tony reaches behind the counter for a remote, and presses another button. Red beams outline where Snyders was standing, and after pressing another button, reveals exactly what he was wearing.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., start the material makeup analysis.”

F.R.I.D.A.Y. scans the hologram of Snyders, and begins downloading and examining the data she’s been given. You stare at the image of Snyders angrily, but also a little confused. You tilt your head in Tony’s direction.

“Was this what was supposed to happen when you pushed that button the first time?” you ask coldly. Tony investigates the data as he answers.

“Yes and no,” he replies smoothly, skimming through what he’s been given.

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” You drop your arms and start waltzing your way over to him, intent on giving him a good punch if need be.

“What I mean is that this whole process,” he starts, referring to the analysis, “is what that button is meant to do. It captures an infrared image of the entire room, and breaks down what specific parts it’s made of. In this case, it’ll be Snyders’ armour. The thing you’re probably confused about is the ‘no’ part.” You nod once. “When the power is functioning, the device operates at its full capacity, and is supposed to making a loud clicking noise once it takes the image, but I didn’t hear it. And if it ever unexpectedly shuts down, it only runs on about thirteen percent. It’s better than nothing.”

You crack your knuckles in irritation. You’re glad that there’s at least one thing in the Tower that can work without sufficient power, but you’re still fuming about how little any of you did. It’s just like Steve says: you can’t save everyone. But that’s not going to dampen your determination. You’re not going to let Maeve be killed. Not on your watch.

Natasha silently stitches up your forehead as Tony calculates the exact location of Snyders’ position. The metal he was wearing is awfully generic, making it difficult for Tony to pinpoint him since it’s so common. But thankfully, there was one small detail about his armour that allows Tony to have a general location within a three-mile radius.

“I got it,” he announces. You jump off the counter of the bar and go over to Tony at his work station. He glances at you before focusing on the data again. “How’s the head?”

“’S fine,” you mumble, tracing your eyes over his work. “Where is he?”

“Not too far,” Tony says, projecting the figures in the air. “About an hour’s flight away, in St. Mary’s.” He circles to a patch of rural area in Pennsylvania. “Being the man you claim him to be, he’d need quite a lot of space for his projects. Whether this is a headquarter checkpoint or just one of his manufacturing garages, I’ve deciphered that he’ll be in this building here.” He zooms in on the side of the warehouse. “It’s labeled as a self-storage unit, and it’s off the main road. It gives him the privacy he needs. The pathetic metal he wore is quite common, but it had a small coating of rhenium on the surface. I was able to trace him using that.”

You stare at the blinking red dot on the map, thinking about Maeve. You try to push away the thoughts of her being tortured in any way, but the intrusive thoughts keep forcing their way in. You rub your temple and grit your teeth.

“Save the address,” you growl. “Let’s get going.”

You don’t wait for either of them to answer before you start to make your way to the jet platform outside. You don’t know how much time Maeve has, and you don’t want to think about it. Tony and Natasha join you on the quinjet soon after, with Natasha being the designated driver. You’re completely silent as they come into view, your only thoughts being that of getting Maeve back safely. Natasha starts it up, then flies quickly in the direction of the compound.

“Wait, what are you doing?” you ask, getting up. You know this path. “Where are you going, Natasha?”

“To the compound,” she says. “And before you object, just know that we’ll need everyone for this. Out of necessity, and because they would come anyway. We’ll get there in time, _______. Trust me.”

“You better be right,” you scoff, shaking your head as you take your seat again. Natasha looks at you over your shoulder before pushing the quinjet to it’s maximum speed.

“Hang on,” she warns. It comes too late as you go flying to the side. You grip the straps of the seat belts at the bottom of the seats to keep yourself from sliding. Tony flawlessly contacts everyone at the compound about the situation, telling them to suit up and be ready for when they arrive. Once you find your seat again, you fasten yourself in and pray that everything will be okay.

With the insane speed that Natasha was flying at, you arrive back at the compound in two hours flat. You feel faint after arriving, but you shake it off and speed-walk inside the compound and upstairs to change into your suit. As you’re in the middle of pushing your arms through, there’s a knock at the door. You don’t bother to answer, since whoever it is, they’re not going to change your mind.

“_______?” It’s Bucky. You zip up the front of your suit securely, then begin to tie your hair up. He opens the door and walks inside.

“_______?” he calls again.

“I’m not listening to any complaints about me going,” you say, grabbing a ponytail from your dresser. “She’s my friend, and I’m going to get her back. No one can tell me otherwise.”

“I know,” he says gently. “We’re all going. I’m going.”

“No,” you say, snapping your head around to look at him. “You can’t come, Bucky. As much as I want you to, it’s too much of a risk. You can’t be seen.”

“Stark said she’s being kept in the middle of nowhere,” he counters, trying to reason with you. He lowers his voice when he sees the cut in your forehead. “No one is going to see me.”

“His men will,” you remark, grabbing your mask. “And I’m pretty sure they’d know damn well what the Winter Soldier looks like.”

“You think I’m going to let you go out there by yourself?”

“But I won’t be alone, Bucky,” you argue. “I’ll have Natasha and Wanda and Steve and Tony and Sam and Vision. There’s no reason why you need to put any unnecessary danger upon yourself.”

“And the rest of them aren’t?” he scoffs. “I’d be risking the same things they’d be risking. More on me I know, but I don’t want to be sitting here for hours on end worried the hell out of my mind, wondering if you’re alive or not.”

You drop your hands from your face after putting on your mask and sigh. You don’t want to have an argument before doing this mission. It would be a major distraction for yourself. You approach Bucky, and cup his face in your hands.

“I’m going,” you say softly. You put a finger to his lips to keep him from interrupting. “And you’re coming too, since you’d probably go anyway. But you have to promise me that you’ll stay in the jet. Otherwise I’ll have to strap you down here myself.”

Bucky knows he’s not going to get a better deal. He nods, agreeing with your terms, and kisses your forehead.

“I’ll stay put,” he confirms.

“Good,” you say. “Let’s get going.”

You grab your gun and slide it into your holster before leaving your room and heading down to the hangar to meet with everyone else. You assume they’ve all been relayed the message by Tony, since he said it himself. You don’t need to speak with any of them; you know they have your back.

As you walk down the stairs to the hangar and see everyone, you notice they’ve all geared up: Steve in his Captain America uniform carrying his shield, Sam has his wings, Tony in his Iron Man suit. You put on a brave face (though it can’t be seen), and take deep breaths as you approach them. Not much needs to be said; they’ve all made their decision to help you, because that’s what a family does.

God that really sounded like Steve.

You all board the jet in silence, except for Tony as he will be flying alongside you. You hear footsteps from behind you, so you look over your shoulder and see Bucky jogging to keep up. He’s dressed in what seems like a modified Winter Soldier outfit: it’s still all black attire, but with a vest instead of the intense strapping from his old one. He’s wearing his glove as well, but that doesn’t do much to cover the entirety of his arm. You wait for him, and silence everyone’s concerns with a glare.

“He’s staying on board,” you say simply. “He’s not leaving once we get there. End of story. Vision, you watch him and make sure he doesn’t leave. I don’t want him seen by anyone. Got it?”

“Understood,” Vision says, nodding in compliance. He motions for Bucky to have a seat next to him, and he does. You take a seat by yourself, not wanting to interact for a while, and to cool down a bit. This is the most stressful experience you’ve ever been in in your entire life. There’s only a handful outcomes that you can think of when all of this is over:

1. Maeve is saved, and Snyders and his men are killed and/or captured

2. Maeve is saved, but Snyders and his men get away

3. Maeve is killed, but Snyders and his men get away

4. Maeve is killed, along with Snyders and his men

5. Maeve is saved, and Snyders and his men are killed and/or captured, and someone on the team is killed

6. Maeve is saved, but Snyders and his men get away, and someone on the team is killed

7. Maeve is killed, but Snyders and his men get away and someone on the team is killed

8. Maeve is killed, along with Snyders and his men and someone on the team

Your head hurts from thinking about all of these scenarios. You support your face in your hands and lean your elbows on your knees. You do some breathing techniques to calm yourself down, and tap your foot on the floor. Steve recognizes that you want some alone time, but him being him, he knows that even though you may not realize it, you need someone to talk with you.

He gets out of his seat and settles down next to you. You don’t say anything to him, and he was expecting that. You’re not one to usually start a conversation, which Steve also knows, so he waits a minute or two before opening his mouth.

“How’re you holding up?” he asks quietly, glancing at you.

You close your eyes and breathe deeply before giving him an answer. “About as good as you can expect,” you reply, staring down at the floor. You dig your fingernails hardly into each other, and begin bouncing your knee. Your heart is racing, and you can’t focus. You’re afraid that you’re going to compromise this mission because of your mental state, and that one member, if not everyone, will tell you to stay behind. Steve’s not going to tell you that.

But that doesn’t mean he’s not going to be realistic and cautious about this.

“I can’t tell you that everything is going to go smoothly,” he starts, treading carefully. “But if it’s any consolation, if someone can pull this off, it’s you. You have the skill, the tenacity, and most importantly, the integrity. Complications are going to arise, and there’s no way to avoid that. But this is your mission, _______. You’re calling the shots. It’s going to be rough, but we’re here with you. We’ll get her back.”

Your eyes sting with tears at Steve’s small pep talk. The one hope everyone always has is that everything is going to be okay. But that’s not the case in all scenarios. Steve is Steve, and you’re grateful for his encouraging words. You lift your head, your eyes glassy, and nod in thanks, since he won’t be able to see your smile. He smiles back anyhow, and rubs your shoulder.

“All we need to do is win,” he says.

“Easier said than done,” comes your quiet reply. “But it’s the only option. And I’m not about to let Maeve down. Or any of you down, for that matter.”

“You won’t,” he reassures you. “We’ve seen you in the field. Just get in your zone, and you’ll be unstoppable. Just do what you gotta do.”

“And the same to you guys,” you agree.

Steve continues to speak with you for most of the three-hour flight to Pennsylvania. He wants to settle your nerves, and give you some confidence. He can see in your eyes the terror you’re experiencing, and there’s nothing more nerve-wracking than a person who doesn’t feel like themselves. The pressure and anxiety of rescuing someone close to you is like trying to carry around a stone of slab that weighs a ton. Steve knows exactly how that feels.

Along with you, he’s also worried about Bucky and how he’s going to deal with this entire situation. He originally wasn’t supposed to come, but given the fact that he wouldn’t let you go without him, Steve isn’t surprised that he was allowed to come along on one condition: that he stays in the quinjet. Taking that into consideration… Steve isn’t confident that Bucky is going to stand by that order. He can’t help but want to jump in and help. Especially when your safety is in jeopardy. Whatever happens, Steve hopes that you both come out of this alive.

As you’re nearing the designated location, you stand up and stare out the windshield. All you can see is grass upon grass upon grass, with a single warehouse planted in the middle of it. You wipe your clammy palms on your legs before pulling your gloves out of your pocket. You slide them on as Natasha lands the jet a few hundred meters away from the site. The air is tense, silent, and serious. Natasha opens the door, and you all step out onto the grass. You speak with Bucky before stepping off last.

“For the love of god, please stay here,” you tell him, clutching his hand. “Forget about being killed. HYDRA could get their hands on you again and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if that happened. So please, please promise me you’ll stay in the quinjet.”

Bucky hears the pleading in your voice, but he sees it the most in your eyes. He’s never heard you sound so afraid for him before. He squeezes your hand, and nods with hesitation. He still doesn’t know if he’ll be able to keep that promise.

“I promise,” he whispers, his eyes downcast.

“Okay,” you say. You close your eyes as he places a long, gentle kiss to your forehead. You hug him tightly after, glad that he’s going to listen to you.

“I’ll see you after,” you say, pulling away. You turn to Vision now. “Watch him. Please. Don’t let him slip through your fingers.”

“No need to worry, _______,” Vision says. “He won’t be joining you until you return.”

“Thank you, Vision. We’ll see you after, as well.”

And with that, you turn your back on them and walk out of the quinjet to join the others. You stare out in the field, the warehouse being a spec in the distance. You stand at the head of the group, and lead them towards the goal. Your head and heart race together, so much that it makes you feel dizzy again. But you absolutely cannot break focus. You’re here for Maeve, and you’re going to save her.

The warehouse gets bigger and bigger the closer you get, and you wonder just how massive this place is. You clench your fists in frustration and grit your teeth.

Shut up. Calm the fuck down. Thinking too much is going to screw everything up. You gotta stop doing this or you’re going to fuck everyone over.

You walk faster and take deeper breaths as your anger intensifies. Fighting gives you energy like you’ve never experienced, and you hope to god that it’ll give you the willpower you need to get through this day.

When you come within 50 metres of the place, a voice speaks over an intercom system.

“Take out your earpiece, leave your gun, and come in alone.”

You’d recognize that voice anywhere now. The team stops in place, and you narrow your eyes at the building. If that’s the way it has to be, then you have to do it. You have to comply if you want Maeve to come out of this alive.

“And if I don’t?” you question, curious to see what he’ll say.

“It’s very simple,” he says. “Your friend dies in the most horrible way possible, and then we kill all of you. So make your decision wisely.”

Sighing, you bring your hand to your right ear, and pull out the earpiece, dropping it on the ground. You do the same with your gun, and began walking towards the entrance.

“_______, wait!” Steve calls out, taking a step forward.

“I’m gonna do as he says, Steve,” you tell him, frowning over your shoulder. “If this is the way to save Maeve, then I’m going to do it.” You continue your way forward, but Steve reaches out and grabs your forearm.

“_______,” he pleads.

You tilt your head to the side, knowing he’s going to try and let him come with you, but you shake your head.

“No, Steve,” you say. You take your arm back and turn around to face him. “I’m going in alone. And if you can’t–“

“I’m not kidding around, _______,” Steve argues, his voice firm. “I’m not–“

“Didn’t you say that I’m calling the shots here?!” you yell. He flinches in surprise. He takes a step back and sighs. You huff, and begin backing away. “I am going in alone. And if I’m not out of there within thirty minutes, follow me. But look for Maeve first. She is the top priority, not me. Do whatever you can to get her out of there. That’s an order.”

Steve reluctantly lets you go, but he nods his head in affirmation. You turn your back on them once again, and begin your journey inside. It’s what you’d expect from a typical warehouse: shiny, cement floors, rows upon rows of orange shelving, fluorescent lighting, forklifts. But there’s not a soul in sight. The lights are dimmed, and you’re prepared to light some bastards up. You proceed with caution, walking on your toes and keeping your ears open to even the smallest of sounds. You saunter down an isle, wondering where the hell Snyders is. You know he wouldn’t just let you stroll in here unarmed without a plan in mind. But just because you’re unarmed, doesn’t mean you’re not.

You put your arm up, leveling it with your face. It’s no form of protection, but you can produce flames faster than you did before. You haven’t reached full-body production, but you’re still a work in progress. As you reach the end of the isle, you tentatively look left and right for any sign of human life, but there’s no one. You don’t hear, nor see, anyone.

They all must be in a di–

You hear the sounds of guns being locked and loaded simultaneously. You freeze in place, and look up. About a dozen men come out of their hiding places on the shelves, and point their weapons at you. You lower your arm, but not your guard. Your movements are slow, but careful as you turn around, looking for Snyders.

“Braaavaaa, braaavaaa.”

You whip your head around when you hear his voice and the sound of him clapping. He appears around the corner of the isle, stepping into view.

“I didn’t think you’d do it,” he comments, giving you a once-over. You notice he’s dressed like a normal civilian instead of the armour he was wearing when he took Maeve. And it seems as though he’s found himself a pretty clever makeup artist, since the burns on his face have all but disappeared. That scar on his neck is still painfully visible, though.

“Just one simple proposal and you drop everything to come in here? That’s fantastic!”

He begins a monologue, but you’re too weirded out by his strange behaviour. The unnerving smile, speaking with his hands, and the swagger he’s carrying… it feels like a completely different Marko Snyders than the one you met at the club. But a change in personality isn’t going to divert you from your objective.

“Where is she?” you demand.

He immediately stops talking when you ask for Maeve. His smile slowly falls from his face, and he lowers his arms, tucking his hands in his pockets. He takes a step forward, and you straighten up. You’re not afraid of him. You nearly killed him once; you’re not going to let that opportunity slide again.

“Come,” he says, wrapping an arm around you. “Let’s take a walk.”

Now you’re even more suspicious. You clench and unclench your fists to keep yourself under control as he leads you away from one part of the warehouse to another. He has a look of glory on his face, like he’s just had an epiphany. And you don’t like it at all. You’d rather kick his ass early, find Maeve, and be done with it. This whole ensemble seems fishy at best.

As you walk along with him, you get looks from his men whenever you pass them. The warehouse still looks like one, but the contents in this certain area is completely different. All the shelving is gone, and instead there’s projects placed everywhere on the floor. They all have their own work station, with a handful of men tending to each one. You feel like you’re being given a tour of the entire place, but you know that’s not what’s in Marko’s plan.

He leads you to an elevator, and presses a button for the very last floor, deep underground. You can tell by the old design of the elevator door that the next room you see is not going to be pretty. The silence between you and Marko is deafening, but you suppose that minimal conversation is the best course of action.

When you reach the sub basement of the warehouse, Marko steps out first, and you follow closely behind. The air is colder, mustier, and creepier. Pipes run along the high ends of the walls, and you can see water streaming through the cracks of the brick. It’s dark, dirty, and overall eerie. It makes the perfect place to hide a secret facility.

You can’t tell which way you’re going. Everything looks so similar, yet different at the same time. You don’t even know what half of the old machines do; they look like they were made in the 40s. And they probably were. You swallow the lump in your throat as you get a chill. This place doesn’t make you feel safe at all.

After turning left and right and being lead up and down staircases and corridors, Marko finally stops in front of a big, bulky door. He takes out an ID badge from his jacket, and swipes it in a keypad attached to the wall. He enters a code, his thumbprint, and a retina scan. The power light changes from red to green, and the door opens, welcoming Marko inside. He steps through, and you hesitate before doing the same.

The design is completely different.

It’s perfectly white all around, with glass doors and windows, with the brightest lighting. The people down here dress like they’re doctors, wearing white lab coats over their slacks and dress shirts. You can’t tell what each room is for. In some there’s just people sitting at a desk, staring at a computer and writing things down. But in others, you can only guess they’re doing experiments, given the small, handheld technology they’re using.

“This is where all the magic happens.”

The sound of Marko’s voice makes you jump, and he takes notice of that as he peers at you over his shoulder.

“Didn’t mean t’ scare ya,” he apologizes, giving you that unsettling smile again. “That’s for later.” That doesn’t calm you down any, but he continues on, strolling through his lab. “I’ve always been a fan of perfection and leaving little room for error and failure. I believe it’s the only acceptable form of success. Trial and error? If at first you don’t succeed, try again? Tsk tsk. Not uh. Not in my laboratory. See, I started out big. I was young and naïve, always aiming to make the biggest, most fantastical thing out there. The bigger the better, right? But in these past months, I realized how wrong I was. The perfection is in the detail, not how gigantically I can produce something. No, no, no. It has to be something no one will expect. That no one will see coming.”

After gathering your thoughts and swallowing your nervousness, you open your mouth to see if he’ll answer your question.

“And what’s that? What did you move on to?”

He stops in his tracks again, and hangs his head. Just by looking at his back gives you the vibe that he could snap, and jump you right then and there. You shift on your feet, balancing yourself if he tries anything. He turns around completely, and gives you a smug smile.

“Now why would I tell you that?” he asks curiously, tilting his head. “It would just spoil the surprise.”

His tone is what freaks you out this time. Not much can be read by a human face when three-quarters of it is shielded, but the eyes are said to be the window to the soul. And if you didn’t know any better, you’d say that Marko knows exactly the amount of terror and fear he’s making on you, just by glancing at your eyes.

“Let’s continue the tour, shall we?”

Standing up straight, he turns on his heel and begins walking down the hallway, then takes a left. You trail behind him, that specific encounter giving you a reason to be even more cautious of him. He gestures to certain areas, and announces their designated title: Science Research Unit, Records Management, a Culture Kit room, and even generic things such as a laundry room, the lavatories, and a break room. You have no idea why he would tell you this, but you guess that it’ll all be for nothing in the end.

But only if you let him have his way.

He comes to a door that’s guarded by two men, and just by that you can tell it’s an important room. He gets out his ID badge again, enters a code, does his thumbprint and retinal scan, then enters a longer code before the door clicks open. He beckons you inside when he sees you’re not following suit. You do as you’re told, and step inside. It’s impeccably clean and white like the rest of the place. It has one table and a single chair in the middle of the room, with a small control panel off to the side and bolted to the wall. Most of the room is cut in half by a floor-to-ceiling glass window, like an observation room. You hesitantly approach the glass, and squint to see if there’s anything there besides the blackness. Marko goes to the control panel, takes out a key, and unlocks it before flipping three switches. On the other side of the glass, the lights flicker on in unison, and your eyes widen in shock at what you see.

“Maeve? Maeve!”

You slam your hands on the glass, and call her name over and over, but she can’t hear you. She’s strapped down to a standing metal table, with clasps around her wrists and ankles together. Her shirt has been removed, and you can see bruising around her hips and arms. Her end of the room is just like yours: white floors, white walls, and a door to her right. She’s completely alone in there. She’s unconscious as well, and upon closer inspection, seems to be shining. Her hair looks damp, and she shivers. Both ends are soundproof, but that doesn’t mean you can’t see one another. Marko pushes a button, and two squares of the wall open up, revealing two powerful hoses. Maeve is then drenched in a mountain of freezing cold water; she struggles against her restraints, and spits out any water that forces its way in her mouth. You watch on in horror, once again helpless that you can’t do anything to help her.

“Stop it,” you whisper, making a fist against the glass.

“I’m sorry,” Marko says annoyingly. “I didn’t quite hear that. What did you–“

“I said stop it!” you scream, glowering at him in a rage. He nods his head once, then retracts the hoses to allow Maeve to calm down. You pound your fist on the glass, but it’s too thick to be heard on the other side.

“Maeve! Maeve!”

Finally, Maeve raises her head, and when she sees you, her heart sinks. You’re glad that she’s looking at you, but her expression makes your own falter. She doesn’t look happy to see you. in fact, she wishes you were anywhere but here.

“Go,” she says, even though she knows you can’t hear her. “Go, _______! Go!” Tears sting her eyes when you don’t leave. She hangs her head, her body shaking as she weeps. She’s telling you to go not because she hates you for what’s been done to her, but because she doesn’t want the same things to happen to you. Your anger reaches a boiling point when you see Maeve so distraught.

“Let her go,” you demand, glaring at Marko again.

“Thaaat I can’t do,” he replies.

“I said: Let. Her. Go!”

You lunge at Marko, intending to give him another pretty scar to the other side of his face, but he effortlessly moves to the side. His guards come in then, and take hold of you by both your arms. You instantly light up your arms, and they both let go, but one of them quickly grabs hold of your throat and yanks you backwards. You feel a sting in the side of your neck, and the last thing you see before becoming unconscious is Marko’s haughty expression.

When it’s been more than thirty minutes, Steve starts to get restless. He can’t stop jittering, and his hands are clammy under his gloves. He has the utmost confidence in you, but when he starts doubting the situation, he can’t just stand by and wait for something terrible to happen.

“She should have been out by now,” he says more to himself than the team. He looks at the building left and right, shaking his head. “We can’t wait any longer. We need to go in.”

“Shouldn’t we wait just a little bit more?” Sam suggests, even though he’s worried as well.

“She said if she’s not out in thirty minutes to go in,” Wanda reminds him. “I say we go in.”

“Alright people here’s the plan,” Tony speaks up, pulling his mask back. “Cap and Wilson will go after _______. Nat and Wanda will find her friend. I’ll do an aerial observation and scan the warehouse to be able to find both of them. I’ll lead you all to them once I find them. And if you know what’s good for you, none of you will tell Barnes. We don’t need any more deaths than we need.”

Everyone nods their head in agreement. They accept their given task, and will do whatever they can to complete it without any fatalities on their end. Staring down the building in determination, the team braces themselves for what’s to come, and commence their operation.

You feel extremely weak when you wake up. Your neck is stiff, and your eyes sting. You hiss when you move, as well. You’re absolutely freezing. As your vision clears, you realize you’ve been strapped down to a standing table, just like Maeve. You’ve been stripped of your suit, your mask included. You’re entirely vulnerable. The only thing you can be thankful for is that you’re alive.

And wearing boyshorts.

The room you’re in is bigger than Maeve’s, leaving lots more space for Marko to do whatever he wants with you. You’re getting irritated from all the white; it’s bugging with your eyes, and you try to pull your wrist free. But the clasps won’t budge. It’s made of stainless steel, and the only way you’re going to get out of it is if you melt it. But even you’re not sure you can do that. You still try to free yourself, pulling with all your might and shaking yourself side to side. You yell in frustration, but you stop struggling when you hear someone clapping.

“I can’t believe it,” comes Marko’s surprised voice. You look up, and see him standing behind a wall of glass. You’re trapped in the room, just like Maeve is, and you can bet that Marko has some even worse things lined up for you. He dons a lab coat now, and steps in front of the glass with his hands behind his back. He flips on a switch to turn up the volume on the intercom system. “You’re quite easy to capture, you know that? You’re incredibly impulsive, which makes you clumsy and distracted by all means. I’m perplexed as to why you didn’t try harder to save your friend. After all, she is pretty important to you… or is she?”

“Of course she is!” you bellow, grinding your teeth.

“Are you sure?” he counters. “Because, from the way I see it, she’s not all that significant. Otherwise you would have tried to burn the room down to get to her. But that’s not what happened, is it? You saw her, you panicked that you couldn’t save her, and let yourself be imprisoned. It’s pathetic, really. You’re definitely not the same woman I met all those months ago. Maybe I should just let her out of her misery now and save the best devices for you instead.”

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” you scream, pulling against your restraints again. You bring flames to your arms and try to melt them off, but Marko has other ideas.

“Ah ah ah,” he scolds, unlocking another control panel in front of him. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“And why’s t–“

You yell in surprise and pain as you feel an icy cold embrace around your wrists. You pant like you’ve just been punched in the stomach. Turning your head to glance at your wrist, your eyes widen in shock as you see a large chunk of ice forming on your wrist and up your forearm. It’s the same on the other side. You try thawing it out, but it’s too cold. It has to be at least -50. It makes your entire body jolt. You glare at Marko as he gives you the most satisfied of smiles.

“Instant frostbite,” he explains, pressing another button. It freezes your ankles this time, and you swear you’ve never felt a pain like this before. It’s so sharp and severe, you’re not sure you can counter it. Your entire body is littered in goosebumps, and you can’t stop trembling. Your teeth chatter, and you can’t bring yourself to speak.

“Quite useful, don’t you think?” he goes on, switching them both off. You’re provided a small relief, but the pain sticks with you. “Against a fire-type like you, anything cold and wet is your weakness. And those things are pretty easy to come by. I just take the local water supply, and convert it into ice. Simple as that. But getting it this cold takes some patience. I could freeze you to death if I wanted. But where’s the fun in that?”

Turning off communications, he turns to speak to one of his consultants, allowing him full access to the control panel. Marko himself strolls over to the right, and your heartbeat quickens when he enters the room with you. He keeps the door open as someone else wearing a hospital mask strolls in, pushing a rolling table with a sheet overtop. You can guess what’s underneath.

“Thank you, Connell,” Marko says to the man. Connell stops when the table is directly in front of you, then nods to Marko, and leaves, closing the door tightly behind him. Marko walks to the middle of the table, grasps the ends of the sheet, and glances up at you before pulling it away. Underneath is all but a single straight back knife. He picks it up, approaches you, and gingerly taps the tip of the knife against your stomach. It’s cold and sharp, and makes you shift uncomfortably. You don’t want that thing anywhere near you.

“It’s not so fancy, I know,” he says, twirling it around in his hand. “But that doesn’t matter. This type of knife is an all-purpose blade. Because the back is not sharp, it allows you to use your hand or fingers to apply additional pressure to increase the cutting force. Overall, it’s good for slicing and chopping. A little on the heavier side, but I have enough strength to complete my tasks.”

He presses it against your stomach again, but with more pressure. You look down in fear as your skin concaves around the knife, before finally piercing you. You groan in the back of your throat, and look away as he pulls the knife down. A small trickle of blood pours from your wound, and he retracts his hand.

“Ahhh,” he sighs, tapping the knife against you. “This is going to be so much fun. And look at that!” He kneels down somewhat to gaze at your leg. “What a wonderful scar I’ve left behind. That bullet wasn’t very nice to you, was it? Packs a punch from a close range.” He becomes suddenly fascinated, and can’t help but give you a few more scratches along your abdomen and legs. You restrict your voice, not wanting him to hear how much pain you’re in. Most of it is coming from the leftover ice, but having multiple stinging sensations in your stomach and legs isn’t any more pleasant.

“I have much planned for you,” he says, watching your blood slide down his knife. “The next installment of fun should be here any moment now. Until then–“

He gives you a good scrape along the length of your collarbone, quick and clean. You hiss in surprise, and find the strength to keep your voice down. He gives you a few more nicks on your arms before amping it up a bit. He digs deeper into your side, deep enough to produce a steady flow of blood, but not enough to kill you. He does the same to your hip and thigh, and is about you go for your stomach when the door opens again. Connell rolls in a smaller table this time, still with a single sheet covering the top. Marko smiles happily, and removes the sheet once more to reveal a small, handheld device. From your angle, it looks like a pen. But it’s thicker, and has a translucent point.

“Thank you again, Connell,” Marko says as Connell makes his way out again. Marko gingerly places the knife down on the table, and picks up the new device instead. He holds it out in front of you so you can see it. “Know what it is?” Even though it’s pointless to shake your head no, you do it anyway. “You look like a visual learner. I’ll give you a demonstration.”

He clicks the top, just like a pen, and the translucent end lights up in a metallic blue haze. You can’t see it, but there’s tiny electric currents flowing through it, indicating its power. Your chest palpitates just at the sight of it. You twist your body to the side when he draws it nearer to your abdomen, adjacent to a cut. As the tip of the device touches you, you can’t stop yourself from yelling in pain. Marko smiles like the sadist he is, and gives you several more pokes in different areas of your body, your screams music to his ears.

“Similar to shock therapy,” he explains, examining it with zeal. “But more powerful. Controlled. All of its energy condensed into this tiny little contraption. Deception is key. It could be labeled as a joke, a harmless prank. Different levels for different shock value. You could either zap someone like one of those cheap buzzer toys, or give a grown man a heart attack! It’s incredible! And since I want to keep you alive, I’ll be using the lowest settings for my convenience.”

You hardly heard anything he said. The searing pain is making it difficult for you to focus on one thing. Your thoughts are all over the place, and your body jerks involuntarily. You wonder if this is how Bucky felt when HYDRA induced shocks in him to activate the Winter Soldier. If it is… you can’t imagine how how got though it all. This is unbearable.

“Why… are you doing this?” you manage to ask, your voice trembling. You weakly raise your head to look at him for when he answers you. “Is this all because… I burnt your face off?”

Marko stops fanboying over his little toy to laugh out loud. He laughs so hard that he keels over and holds his stomach.

“Ohohooo sweetheart,” he coos. “Don’t be so self-centred. You see, I used to work at S.H.I.E.L.D. in the Weapons Development Department. Not exactly Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S., but I had my fair share of intelligence. As you can guess, I was a double-agent at the time. Making weapons for this agency, while also stealing from them and selling to members of the black market. They never suspected a thing. They’re like that, as you can see. Good ole Phil Coulson asked me to do a mock mission for a youngster. A newbie. Nothing too big. Infiltration, detention, end of that. The weapons were real, I made sure of it. I tend to get into my role, so shooting you in the leg was intentional, yet not at the same time.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” you question, raising your voice. You can’t believe what you’re hearing. He could be lying about all of this. S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn’t play around like that… would they?

“It was all a façade, sweetheart,” he says. “Do I have to spell it out for you? Everyone was in on the project but you. Even agent Knox knew about it. We did all of that just to see what you were capable of. And it was a lot.” He touches his face then, grabs the corner of his forehead, and begins to peel off a facial prosthetic to reveal the scar tissue hidden underneath. “Coulson assured me that despite you not having a gun, you wouldn’t use your power to retaliate. That was the first strike. The second strike was him not reimbursing me for the favour I did for him. Broken promises and a disfigured face? Dick move there. And the third strike was being let go because my precision was slacking and I made more mistakes. Sooo, yeah. Don’t think this is all because of you, princess.”

“If it’s not all about me,” you challenge, “then why did you come after me and my friend?”

“For obvious reasons,” he says, gesturing to his face. “You think I’d let someone get away with ruining one of my best assets? I don’t think so.”

“How did you find me? How did you know where I’d be?” You try to distract him by explaining himself to gain time for yourself. Thawing through the ice is going to take a lot of heat, and it’s still too dangerous for you to start at a really high Kelvin rate. You need to built yourself up before letting it all out.

“I’m more than just a weapons developer,” he says, fiddling with the jolt inducer. You’re very much still wary of it; you don’t want to agitate him into using it again. “I wouldn’t have been working at S.H.I.E.L.D. if I wasn’t. I watched you, tracked you, determined where you’d be. You showed me your face. Do you know the kind of face-recognition hardware I own? Honestly. Finding you was easier than a needle in a haystack. All you gotta do is bring a magnet.”

“Why attack me when you did? Why wait this long to capture me?”

You can slowly feel the heat swirling around inside you, especially in your arms. The ice still has an unrelenting hold on you, but you power through the pain in order to break through it. Marko loves to talk about himself and his accomplishments. Hopefully another speech will buy you the time you need to free yourself.

“Opportunity, coincidence, I was getting tired of waiting,” he jeers, getting a little restless from all the talking. He needs to hear your screams again. “It doesn’t matter. I found you, I got you, and as a bonus, I got your friend as well. Two birds with one stone. Enough of all that. Now, I have to get back to work.”

He jolts you again before you can produce any kind of progress with your flames. You lose your concentration, along with the buildup of your combustion. You choke from being stunned in multiple places in such a quick succession. Clenching your fists, you glower at him fiercely, and when he’s close enough, you spit in his face. His initial shock makes you smirk, but the fury in his eyes makes your stomach churn. He calmly wipes away your saliva from his cheek before plunging the device into your abdomen, keeping it there for a solid ten seconds. He gives you a breather afterwards, and a sinister warning.

“Do anything like that again, and I’ll make sure the last thing your friend says before she dies is how much she loathes you.”

You purse your lips at him, but otherwise silently agree. Anything you do to him could inadvertently be affecting Maeve, or worse. You’d be damned if you let her suffer any more for your mistakes.

“Why don’t we check up on her, hmm?”

You whip your head up at the mention of seeing her again. You lick your lips apprehensively, and your heart thumps painfully hard as a screen lowers down from the ceiling. It flickers as it brings up a live-stream of Maeve’s holding cell. She looks the same from when you last saw her: dripping wet with bruises.

“Let’s see what happens when you think about testing my patience.”

He swings his finger in a circle, indicting to go ahead with whatever he has planned. You watch the feed with immense guilt; Maeve shouldn’t be here right now. She should be back in Toronto, laying on her bed with her papers strewn about. You wish you never had invited her out to the Tower today. But you can’t take that back now. The regret is still there, and there’s no getting rid of that.

A member of Marko’s organization approaches Maeve, directly inside her cell, and uses the same jolting device on her like Marko did you. You can’t hear her screams, but you can see the amount of pain she’s in. You look away in shame, but Marko orders you to look and see what you’ve done to her, not him. You watch on in humiliation. She’s shocked once, twice, three more times before the employee backs away. Maeve pants aggressively, and her body spasms. Marko swings his arm again, and the screen rises back up into the ceiling.

“You see?” he says gently, patting your cheek. “No more misdemeanours, and she won’t be punished. Understand?” You nod in compliance, and Marko takes it sincerely. “Good, good.” He catches you completely off-guard as he begins puncturing you twice as many times as Maeve was. “Because next time I won’t be so lenient.”

You scream and scream and scream, but you know no one can hear you.

Back outside in the quinjet, Bucky is pacing restlessly. He was worried when Tony notified them, he was worried before leaving, he was worried the flight here, but nothing can compare to the anxiety he’s feeling right now. He doesn’t know what to think, what to do. According to you, he’s not allowed to do anything. Not until you come back. He said he’d stay in the jet and wait, but he can’t take this excruciating mission anymore. He has to go in there. He must be able to help in some way. Making up his mind, he stops pacing, and begins to leave the jet.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Vision flies right in front of him, blocking his path. Bucky still has a hard time believing that Vision is a thing. He’s not sure he’s even spoken to him before. But that doesn’t matter right now. He can’t sit here and be a sitting duck while everyone else is in there looking for you.

“I’m going in there,” Bucky replies, walking around him.

“I believe miss _______ formally instructed you to remain here until the duration of the mission is complete,” Vision reminds him.

“That’s a promise I can’t keep,” Bucky confesses. “And you’re not going to stop me.”

“I will by any means necessary,” Vision chides. “I will not allow you to slip through my fingers, like _______ says. I believe she will be alright. Do you not?”

Bucky stops walking and sighs. He can’t be for sure what’ll happen to you, or what’s happening to you right now. He doesn’t know if you’re going to be okay. He knows you’re strong and determined to save Maeve, but carrying out a mission is anything but perfect. Something goes wrong nearly every time. And he’s not about to let anything happen to you.

“I love her,” he says quietly, biting his lip. “I can’t be sure about her well-being. I don’t know what’s going on in there right now. The others have gone in but… I’m not about to be useless. And I’m definitely not going to stand by while someone dies.”

“You don’t know if–“

“The possibility is always there,” Bucky interrupts harshly. He turns to face Vision, and pleads with him to let him go. “I’m not the same person I was a hundred years ago. And I never will be. But the amount of love and respect I have for someone important to me never changes. It will never falter. I have to do this. Otherwise I’ll beat myself up about it later. And if she ends up dead because I didn’t go in there after her… then I might as well be dead too.”

Vision can’t exactly comprehend where Bucky’s coming from, but the sincerity in Bucky’s voice lets him know that he is a hundred percent serious. Vision also has a protective feeling over the members of the team, and he knows it would pain him deeply if one of them got hurt because of him not being there for them when they needed him the most. Vision nods once, allowing Bucky to leave.

“Go,” he says. “But come back.”

“That’s a promise I can keep.”

And with that, Bucky goes sprinting outside and towards the warehouse, leaving Vision to be the remaining guard outside, and to wonder how this will all turn out in the end.

You nearly pass out from the pain of the jolt inducer. But you remain awake, alive and breathing. Just how Marko wants you. Conscious, but broken. He has so many other weapons he has lined up for you he doesn’t know where to start. You’re surprised you haven’t died from blood loss, but Marko targeted very specific parts of your body to produce the least amount of blood. You can’t imagine how bad of a shape you’re in right now.

By the feel of it, it isn’t good.

You try to at least control the temperature in the room, but you’re even too weak to do that. Marko’s rendered you utterly useless, unable to help yourself, and the team. There’s nothing you can do now. You either wait to die, or wait to unexpectedly live. Whatever happens, you just hope that Maeve gets out of here safe and sound.

You can barely lift your head as Marko begins explaining the capabilities of the new device he has in front of you.

“It can produce pain close to that of a thousand knives piercing you at once,” he says, staring at it in awe. “It’s shaped exactly like brass knuckles, and it’s even used in the same fashion. But no one will be able to expect just how rapidly the pain will course through you. A little tap here and there is like a pinprick to your finger. But when you put some force behind it, and punch with a purpose? Well. We all know what happens then. It’s only activated by this tiny button on the underside, here. If it’s not turned on, then you’re just using regular brass knuckles. Once it’s activated, you’re wielding an entirely different weapon.”

He does a demonstration, of course, using you as his test subject. He slides them over his fingers, gets into a fighting position, and gently punches your side. It’s just plain cold metal hitting you; no feeling of a thousand knives. He smiles proudly, before pushing the button and landing a more meaningful blow on your thigh. You shriek in pain, and thrash around as much as your body will allow from being pinned down. Marko cries with laughter, thoroughly enjoying his Torture Time.

“I seriously have no clue how you’re still conscious at this point,” he comments, pacing in front of you. “Losing blood, being shocked, instant frostbite, and now this? You’re one tough bitch. But you won’t be for long.” You blink long and hard to keep them open. You can’t fall under now. You’ve lasted this far, and you’ll make damn well sure you stay awake until the very end.

“You know,” he starts, looking around in wonder, “despite capturing you and torturing you to my heart’s content, I don’t know that much about you. I didn’t really care for those kinds of things. I just wanted to know where you were, and when would be the most opportune time to take you. However, there is one thing I know about you that you don’t want anyone else to know.”

Your eyes widen in fear when he tells you that. Something you don’t want anyone else to know? You can only think of one thing: Bucky. Outside of the team, no one in the world knows where Bucky is right now. People can make their assumptions and inferences, but they will never truly know. But you do, and now Marko does too. You’re not about to admit anything, so you wait for Marko to continue, praying that he’s talking about something else entirely.

“I’m sure the public are dying to know,” he says. “I was too. What is the one thing that the incredible Hellfire doesn’t want the world to find out? Well, not to brag or anything, but I found that out a long time ago.” You pant with your mouth closed, and shield your eyes from him. You don’t want him to see the defeated look on your face when he says Bucky’s name.

“The only thing in your life worth protecting,” he taunts. “I suppose it’s something that everyone would want to protect with their life, if they didn’t want anyone else knowing about it.”

“Yeah?” you call out. “And what’s that?”

Carefully, slowly, he walks right up to you and whispers in your face.

“Your identity.”

You wait until he turns around to sigh a breath of relief. As far as you’re concerned, he doesn’t know anything about Bucky. He might know and just not be mentioning it, but you’re not going to take the risk to ask.

“I know the identity of the newest Avengers’ member, Hellfire,” he sings. “Or should I say, _____ _______.”

You glare at him as he reveals your name, but honestly, you don’t care. Your identity doesn’t even compare to Bucky’s identity. You’d rather the world find out about who you really are instead of him. Marko seems to be waiting for some sort of reaction for you, like a person who just made a joke and is waiting for someone to laugh. But you don’t give him one. You just keep staring at him with your resting bitch face.

“Oh come oooon,” he pleads. “That’s all I get? A weak glare and silence? I was expecting more of a response like, writhing around or begging or something satisfying.”

“Well I’m not going to give it to you,” you tell him.

“You’re no fun,” he pouts. “I guess I could always just release it to the public and let them have their fun.”

“Snake,” you spit.

That comment earns you a forceful punch to the gut, and Marko gets the screech he wants. He smirks devilishly, and is about to give you another one when there’s an explosion. It’s a little far off so it’s difficult to hear, but nevertheless, it happened. Marko growls in anger and whips around to yell at his staff.

“What happened?!”

While Marko goes off, you try to find the will to keep your eyes open. An explosion could mean that there was an accident. Or that Steve finally decided that enough was enough. You cling to the hope that it’s the team making all this noise, but you’re succumbing to the pain now. As Marko storms out of the room to deal with the situation in a different area of the facility, you hang your head, and let yourself rest.

Steve and Sam are the ones who set off that particular explosion. They’re not exactly watching what they’re hitting, what they’re shooting at, or what they’re throwing people into. Sam is getting edgy about it, but Steve is just desperate to find you. Steve grabs each person he sees and demands to know where you are. When they don’t answer, he strikes them unconscious and moves on to the next one. Tony’s navigational signals have been pretty useful thus far, but being so deep underground is messing with the frequency. Multiple times Tony had to repeat what he said, or had to amp up the connection. Steve and Sam, along with Natasha and Wanda are headed on the right tracks. Natasha and Wanda have their fair share of fighting and swift interrogating, but they’re getting closer to Maeve than Steve and Sam are to you. They’re not far off, though. Natasha and Wanda may have taken an alternate route, but their position to Steve and Sam is only off by a few meters.

“Stark, how much closer are we?” Natasha asks, stunning two men at once.

“Just a–whoa!–about a hundred meters,” he replies. Even though Tony’s job can be handled perfectly well by him alone, it’s a bit more challenging while he’s being shot at.

It’s nothing he can’t handle, however. He wants to get this mission done as soon as possible. He counteracts easily to the firepower using his repulsor beams and propulsion high altitude jets. He asks F.R.I.D.A.Y. how much farther for both Steve and Natasha’s teams, and she relays the message to them separately. They all take their respective routes, and soon enough, Wanda is shouting into her earpiece.

“We found her friend!” she says as Natasha knocks out the last staff member. Natasha uses a key she took from the employee and uses it to unlock the control panel. Wanda enters through the side door and holds Maeve up as Natasha releases the clasps around her wrists and ankles.

“What’s her state?” comes Steve’s voice.

Wanda presses her fingers against Maeve’s neck. “She’s alive,” she responds. “She’s unconscious but she’s okay.”

“Good. According to Stark we’re getting closer to _______. Bring Maeve back to the jet. Sam and I will keep looking.”

“Copy that.”

Wanda drags Maeve out of the room and joins Natasha on the journey back to the surface. Maeve begins to wake up again from all the wobbling around. Her voice is weak, and she can barely walk.

“Wha–What’s going on?” she asks, barely above a whisper.

“We’re getting you out of here,” Wanda replies, giving her a kind smile. Maeve glances at her, but her vision is too blurry to make out who it is. But her voice is gentle, so she’s going to trust in whatever she says. For her sake, she’ll try to stay awake and walk along with her. Natasha has a good enough memory to remember the way back, so she leads Wanda and Maeve in and out of the corridors and stairwells.

Meanwhile, Steve and Sam weren’t having much luck from asking personnel where you’re hidden. Some weren’t willing to talk, and others ran out of there when they saw who was coming their way. But by the thinnest stroke of luck, Steve manages to find someone to lead him and Sam to you. Sam takes care of any others who try to pick a fight with them. He’s surprised from the lack of firearms from the people that operate deep underground. When they reach the modern part of the facility, everyone has already scattered. Taking vital information and destroying the rest via Snyders' orders. After five minutes of speed-walking, the staff member brings Steve and Sam to your holding cell. Once he opens the door to the viewer’s room, Steve starts.

When Marko left you to see what was going on upstairs, the lights remained on. So Steve and Sam can see every little cut, bruise, and scar that Marko graciously gave you. You’re also sopping wet. Without being given orders, the members had some fun of their own and took turns hosing you down, even though you were unconscious. They wanted to see if you’d wake up at all.

You didn’t.

Steve and Sam don’t know how much blood you’ve lost, but they need to get you back to the jet before they begin to decipher what kind of medical treatment you’ll need.

“Open the door,” Steve demands. The member fiddles with the key before opening the panel and unlocking the door. Sam goes through, and lightly taps your face.

“Spyro?” he says. He holds his fingers to your neck. You’re ice cold. “She’s got a weak pulse, Cap! We need to get her out of here!”

“Remove her restraints.” The member continues to follow Steve’s orders in hopes of being kept alive. Sam catches you, but you don’t open your eyes. You’re breathing, and that’s all that matters. Steve marches up to the member and grips the front of his shirt. “What’s the fastest way out of here?”

“T-There’s a passage,” he stutters. “I-It leads to a secondary elevator that goes straight to the surface.”

“Take us there.”

Steve shoves him forward, following right behind him as Sam carries you in his arms. He keeps speaking to you in hopes that you’ll wake up or give him any kind of response. It scares him to see you so still. He’s so used to hear your laughs and listen to stories from your past. He starts sweating from how worried he is.

“Here we go, Spyro,” he says, keeping on Steve’s tail. “We’re gonna get you outta here. You’re gonna be alright. Old man Barnes is waiting for you back in the jet outside. He’s never going to leave your side when you’re getting patched up, when you’re in bed, or anywhere for that matter. He’s going to yell at us for all sorts of reasons, but it won’t matter because you’ll be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

“How’s she doing, Sam?” Steve asks, voice hard.

“She’s freezing, Cap,” Sam replies, looking down at your face. He turns grim from the sight of you. “We’ve gotta hurry. I don’t know what they did to her, but it wasn’t good. I don't know how much longer she has.”

“She’s gonna make it, Sam,” Steve assures him, voice steady. “She has to.”

“We’re almost there,” the man announces, peeking behind him. Steve returns the look with an icy stare. Suddenly, all the red warning lights turn on, and a voice speaks overhead.

“Warning. Structural failure. Building compromised. Please find the nearest escape route. Warning. Structural failure. Building compromised. Please find the nearest escape route. Warning. Please find…”

The message repeats itself over and over as alarms go off with it. Steve knows there’s no time to waste and ushers the man along. They can all hear the sound of brick and stone crashing above them. The man speeds along, creating more space between him and Steve. He takes a left, and when Steve rounds the corner, he’s pointing an unknown weapon at him.

“I’m the only one getting out of here,” he says. His hands shake from nervousness, but he’s a hundred percent serious. Steve sees the door of the elevator at the very end of the hall, so there’s no need to keep this man around anymore. Whatever he’s got in his hands, Steve can counter it. He takes a step forward, but the man arms himself and raises the weapon higher.

“Don’t move,” he warns. “I’m not afraid to use this.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Steve tries. “We can all get out of this alive.”

“There’s no need for you to come along,” the man explains. “Killing America’s golden boy is sure to promote me generously. Truth be told, I don’t really want to trap you in here, but it’s the only choice. Besides.” He raises his arm a little more and stretches it out to Steve. “You and your little band of misfits won’t be able to sur–“

Just then, the man is body-slammed into the wall beside him, and slumps to the floor, the weapon falling from his grasp. Steve jumps a bit out of surprise, but it’s replaced by confusion when he sees who the saviour is.

“Bucky?”

Bucky stares down the now unconscious man before glancing up at Steve.

“Steve?”

“Barnes?”

“Sam?”

“Sam.”

“Steve.”

“Steve?”

Steve rolls his head in irritation and stops this name calling nonsense.

“What’re you doing down here, Bucky?” he asks. “You were supposed to stay in the quinjet.”

“You know I couldn’t do that,” Bucky replies. “I couldn’t stay in there while _______ was–“

Bucky stops himself when he sees you limp in Sam’s arms. His eyes go left and right and up and down, observing every inch of you. He sees the blood, the scars, the bruises, the water dripping from your hair; his throat closes up uncomfortably from seeing the state you’re in. He slowly approaches Sam, but Steve grabs his arm.

“Bucky, we have to get out of here first,” Steve urges him. But Bucky doesn’t listen. He rips his arm away from him and keeps his eyes on your face as he closes in on Sam. Sam doesn’t back away, nor does he rush Bucky to get it over with. He can guess what Bucky’s feeling right now, so there’s no point in trying to reason with him. It’s best to just let him have a moment.

Bucky’s heart contracts from seeing all of your injuries up-close. Your chest is rising and falling so faintly, Bucky wasn’t sure you were breathing. The bruising resembles hemorrhaging, but he isn’t sure. The immense purple bruises on your wrists is what worries him the most. So many thoughts are racing through his mind, he’s not sure what to do now except to hold you.

“Give her to me,” Bucky says, brushing his fingers along your cheek.

“I got her, Barnes,” Sam replies.

“Give her to me,” Bucky repeats, glaring at Sam. His tone leaves no room for argument, and he doesn’t want to start a fight about it. Sighing, Sam carefully hands you over to Bucky. Once it’s done, Steve beckons for Sam and Bucky to get a move on. Steve presses his hand to his ear, and listens to the message given to him by Natasha. He nods his head and walks with Sam to the elevator. Bucky kisses your forehead and moves your hair away from your face before following along.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

The three of them make it to the elevator, and take the floor all the way to the top. It’s nerve-wracking to be in there, since the closer they get to the surface, the louder the explosions and gunfire are.

“Her friend made it out,” Steve says. “Wanda and Natasha are treating her right now.”

It’s a weight off their shoulders, but the day isn’t over yet. Now it’s your turn. Suddenly the elevator jolts, and comes to a complete stop, two floors away from the top. The force of the movement causes you to groan and shift in Bucky’s arms. You try to move, but Bucky pulls you closely to his chest.

“Shh shh shh,” he hushes. You groan louder, causing Steve and Sam to turn their heads. You stretch your arm and open your eyes, even though it hurts. Your head pounds against your skull, and it takes a few seconds to realize who’s holding you.

“Bucky?” you say. You sound awful, like a new voice has found its way into you. Even Bucky doesn’t recognize it at first. But he smiles down at you anyway. You laugh without humour. “Why don’t you ever listen to me, huh?” you question.

“Bad habit,” he confesses. You turn your head, and feel relief wash over you as you see Sam and Steve.

“Hey,” you say to them.

“It’s good to you're your voice,” Sam says. “Even though you sound like shit.”

“Shut up,” you smile. You feel like falling under again, but you know you can’t. You need to help in any way you can, knowing that they’re alive. “Let me down, Bucky.”

“I can–“

“Just lemme down.”

Nodding, he gently lowers your legs to the floor, but keeps an arm around you for support. You need it anyhow. You can’t find much strength in any part of your body, but as long as you can walk, you’re not complaining.

“Welcome back,” Steve finally says, a small smile on his face. You nod in agreement, and pat his arm reassuringly. As you look in front of you and see how dusty and smoky it’s getting, you address it.

“So what the hell is going on here?”

“We’re leaving,” Steve says curtly. “Right now.”

You’d know Steve’s “final decision” voice anywhere. And it’s not like it needs to be said. You can now begin to hear just how much shit you four are in. Steve steps out first, then Sam, followed by you and Bucky. It hurts to walk and be dragged along at the same time, but there’s no room for complaints. You’re not getting crushed by a hundred tons of steel and brick. You can hear Steve shouting into his earpiece at Tony, telling him where to go. But his voice gets lost with all the stinging, white noise you feel inside your head. You know you’re not well, what with all that Marko did to you, but this is ridiculous. You feel as if you’ve just lost your hearing. You nearly fall over when Steve makes a sharp right turn, and develop vertigo from going up a single flight of stairs. Bucky’s hold on you tightens when you swing the other way.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Bucky asks as he watches you wobble around.

“N-No,” you reply honestly. “But I’m not about to–to slow you guys down. I’m fine.”

“But _______–“

“I said I’m fine!”

You use Bucky to yank yourself forward and keep yourself upright. You’ve never experienced vertigo before, and it’s really kicking you in the ass. Your left and right is all backwards, and your eyes have trouble focusing on anything, really. But you keep forcing your legs to move, in order to get out, and to see Maeve.

Oh my god. Maeve!

“Wait wait wait,” you call, leaning against a railing. You’re panting and sweating and shivering, and time is running out, but she comes first. “We need to go back for Maeve!”

“Maeve is fine, _______,” Steve says. “Natasha and Wanda got her out. She’s safe inside the jet. Now we need to get you there too.”

You nod, and begin running with them as your lungs burn and your legs tell you to stop. You don’t know if you feel dizzy again because of the blood loss, but you suppose it’s everything. You just hope Tony can fix it. After another minute of climbing stairs and running down halls, you finally come by a familiar path, the path that Marko took you on when going to the sub basement. But it’s in ruins.

There’s fires everywhere with collapsed walls and debris scattered around the floor. The heat of the flames diminishes how cold you are, but it’s a small comfort. You watch where you step, while still attempting to run your fastest. It’s a nightmare avoiding it all, but you’re almost at the exit. Getting around a few thousand pounds of stainless steel should be no problem.

But things don’t always go the way you want them to.

Another explosion goes off, and you’re sent flying in the opposite direction of Steve, Sam, and Bucky. You nearly miss being pierced by some broken metal, but instead, you’re thrown against the wall and land unceremoniously on a shattered shelf. Now you’re really not sure you can get up again. You feel an added pain to your left shoulder. As you glance down, you can see a thin metal rod stuck in your skin. You flinch when you try to move. The pain you can deal with (mostly). You just need to get out. And fast.

You scream as you push yourself up, and crawl through the openings you can find. You call for Sam, Steve, and Bucky. When you don’t hear a response, you keep trying. You call their names, and ask if they’re okay. You hear groaning, which is good enough for you. There’s a thick layer of smoke and dust, so you can’t see what’s ahead of you. You trip and stumble and power through the pain, but you don’t know how much longer you can hold out for. It’s getting increasingly difficult to move.

On the other side of the room, Steve, Sam, and Bucky are recovering from the explosion as well. They’re all okay, since they can endure more than you can, but they’re a little shaken too. They recuperate quickly, though, and begin calling out for you.

“_______!” Steve shouts. “_______, are you okay? Where are you?!”

You faintly hear Steve’s voice, but whether you actually heard it or not, you answer him.

“I’m fine!” you shout back. “Got a rod in my shoulder but I’m okay!”

“We’re gonna come get you!” Sam says.

“No!” you say. “You guys get out first! I can find my way!”

“_______, no!” Bucky yells. “We’re not leaving here without you!”

“And I’m telling you I’m fine!” Even though you’re not, you want them out first, knowing you’re right behind them. “I’m ordering you now to get out! And you better follow it!”

“But _______–!“

“James Buchanan fucking Barnes!” you scream. “Don’t give me that shit! Go! When I get out, I’m gonna punch you! Now fucking go!”

The tenacity and anger you give off is enough even to shake Steve. The three of them stare at all of the destruction, the smoke, the ash. You’re in there somewhere, and if you say you’ll be okay, then you’ll be okay. Bucky already went back on his word once. He doesn’t want to breach your trust again. Biting his lip, he regrettably turns his back and walks with Sam and Steve to the exit, leaving you inside.

You yell out of frustration and pain, but you fumble forward, determined to escape. You crawl, limp, stumble, and stagger, but you finally see the bright light outside where the exit is. Grabbing hold of debris, you propel yourself forward, yelling all the while to give yourself some strength and energy. Despite draining both, you’re almost there. You’re almost back to Steve, to Sam, Bucky, Tony, Vision, Natasha, Wanda, and Maeve.

Especially Maeve.

You’re going to give her the biggest apology you’ve ever given. You start mumbling to yourself about what you’re going to apologize for when you hear something ticking. You look all around, but you can’t see where the source is coming from. But it’s not good. You go faster and faster, but you’re only as fast as your body will allow. And it’s not fast enough.

Outside, Bucky is panicking. You said you’d be out after them, but it’s been too long. He hates following such a stupid order, but it’s an order you gave, and he doesn’t want to break it. He promised you he would stay in the jet. He didn’t. That was something he couldn’t obey. But he can’t do that twice. So he waits, waits for you to emerge from the warehouse so he can go running to you and bring you back himself. He can’t stand still. He’s too fidgety. He begins walking back again, but Steve grabs hold of him.

“Let go of me, Steve,” Bucky says, trying to shrug him off.

“She’ll come out alright,” Steve assures him. “You have to believe her.”

“Steve,” Bucky warns, scowling at him. “I’m not leaving her in there alone.” Steve’s grip lessens, but he tightens it again. He’s not about to lose two friends in one day.

“She gave us an order, Buck,” he tries. “We have to trust that she’ll be okay.”

“But she’s not okay, Steve!” Bucky barks, tearing his arm away. “Did you not hear her? She has a metal rod stuck in her shoulder! You call that ‘okay’?! I’m not about to let her bleed out and let her suffer alone in there while I’m standing out here, argu–“

Bucky’s worst fears come to life when the warehouse goes out in one final, gigantic explosion. The fire rises hundreds of feet in the air, the rubble flying in every direction. Bucky’s heart sinks into his stomach. He feels sick, and doesn’t know what to do. There’s a sharp ringing in his ears that he can’t get rid of. His legs almost give out, but Steve keeps him on his feet. Steve tries to talk to Bucky, but Bucky can’t hear him. The only thing his senses are focused on is the burning building fifty meters away, with you still trapped inside.

He moves forward, wanting to get to you, but Steve keeps him in place. He won’t let him go. Even when Bucky’s heart has been ripped from his chest, Steve still won’t leave him. There’s the smallest of chances that you survived, but even Steve doubts that. He knows he wouldn’t. He can’t say the same for you, but the possibility of survival is an absolute zero.

Bucky screams your name at the top of his lungs. It hurts Steve to hear Bucky sound so desperate, but he can’t let him go in there. No matter what, Bucky keeps running towards the warehouse, his arm stretched for you, but Steve holds him back.

“She’s gone, Buck,” Steve tells him. Steve doesn’t sound sure of himself, but it’s important for Bucky to hear. “She’s gone.”

“Don’t you, of all people, tell me that, Steve!” Bucky argues. “Don’t tell me that. Don’t–“

Bucky finally succumbs to his anguish, and kneels on the ground, Steve still holding him. The team looks on in horror and sadness. Inside the jet, Natasha, Wanda, Vision, and Maeve observe from the window. They saw as much as they did when they arrived. When they understand what’s happened, they begin their own grieving process. Maeve begins crying, and Natasha holds her to comfort her. Bucky’s cries can be heard from the outside, and it only causes Maeve to sob harder.

When Tony receives no further word as to what happened, he flies back down to the ground and joins everyone. He saw the explosion clear as day, but assumed nothing as to whether everyone was okay. When he returns, and sees Bucky having a breakdown, and Sam hanging his head. He doesn’t see you with them. Then everything starts to click.

“Cap, where’s _______?” he asks, trying to keep his voice stable.

Steve simply raises his head, and shakes it no. Tony’s heart lurches, and he looks towards the now incinerated warehouse.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., run a human vitals scan on the building,” Tony demands. F.R.I.D.A.Y. thoroughly investigates the entire building, including the sub basement, but she comes up with nothing.

“No vitals detected,” she says grimly.

“Check again,” Tony says.

“Sir–“

“Dammit, F.R.I.D.A.Y. just check again!”

She does a second run, but still has no results. Tony knows F.R.I.D.A.Y. doesn’t make a mistake. He doesn’t want to believe it. He doesn’t want to even think about the idea of you being dead. Not on his watch. Not under his care. He’s felt an incredible responsibility over you; after all, he’s part of the reason why you’re here. You were the youngest of the team, right beside Wanda, and saw potential in you. Potential that he got; but he also got snark, attitude, and an unyielding energy he’s not used to being around. The most liveliness he’s experienced is when–well, never. And now he’s lost you, just like everyone else. He won’t be able to hear your laughs, or be able to give you attitude right back when you poke and prod at him. No more embarrassing dancing videos, and no more smiles.

You’re gone.

Now everyone has to find a way to live with that.

8 notes · View notes

iv-kplpt · 7 years

Text

catch me like a cold II/II

ding. 14k words rated t

Next few weeks were pretty busy for Charlie – she had a social life to build and a house to buy. Her decision to settle down seemed to be final; she felt like Gotham is a place where she belongs.

Also, Gotham had Oswald Cobblepot and his wicked, wicked tongue – and as much as she valued his company and skills, she wasn't sure if she values them enough to take him with her, assuming she'd drop everything and hit the road again. She had to stay if she wanted to keep Oswald around.

And she wanted that. Oh, she definitely did; after their sudden hookup in her hotel room they met up a few more times, always at her apartment; he claimed the thrill of sneaking out of his cage and stealing his friend's car keeps him going. And who was she to deny him what he needed?

(It was always him who was doing the denying anyway.)

His presence felt... Nice. That word wasn't doing him full justice, but it had to do – she wasn't the overly eloquent one. His presence felt comforting and she was almost sad every time he had to get up and leave.

(She almost asked him to stay during the day once, but ultimately bit her tongue and said nothing, watching him put on his coat and blow her a goodbye kiss.)

Oswald was a very pleasant distraction, keeping her mind away from the intrusive thoughts, rewarding her struggles with staying in place. Also he seemed honest in his enthusiasm – and she knew he's a master manipulator, oh, she knew it damn well. He manipulated the extremely calm and collected Bruce Wayne into punching him in his face, while Bruce's last ally at the board was watching. He could easily manipulate her into feeling safe – so she did her best to not allow herself to feel safe, to feel at home with him around. She felt desired, yes – but she did her best to keep it impersonal. To never call their relationship „friends with benefits” - they were simply a series of one night stands, with some very thin strings attached.

(But she enjoyed those moments when they weren't having sex. She enjoyed simply having his eyes on her, she enjoyed the simple feeling of his warm, relaxed body next to hers, she enjoyed the way his eyes would light up when he made her laugh at one of his terrible jokes. She liked the way he spoke her name, the fact he seemed to be interesting in small things she had to say, the fact he seemed to genuinely want her to settle down. Maybe he wanted her money, maybe he wanted to get her on his side and to use her to get away from Maroni, maybe she was simply a distraction for him as well, maybe he genuinely liked something about her – all were valid options.)

Only once they hooked up in a place other than her hotel apartment and it was Peperoncino. It happened after another dinner party; this time she was invited as her own person, rather than someone's plus one. She heard Maroni's old friend returned to Gotham and that he wanted to greet her properly, as well as introduce her to the new blood among his people. Charlie didn't know a lot about Fish – the mysterious friend – as she seemed to avoid the public eye; she was running a popular nightclub that was closed for the time being, as nobody could be trusted with running it during her absence.

The evening seemed to be interesting, as everybody was going to be there – even including people Charlie hadn't met yet. She already received her state-of-the-art phone from Maroni's tech guy – Edward Nygma – and it was working like a charm; she was curious what kind of person spends their free time tinkering with phones and operating systems for the sake of a beloved loner. She was also curious about the personalities of Maroni's two men on the force – street cop Wilson and detective Bullock.

When she got to Peperoncino's well-hidden patio, only Crane and Jacques were there. As she entered, Crane got up to greet her – Jacques didn't, instead only nodding in her general direction.

(She prefered bartender's way of greeting her, actually. Felt more natural. Felt more like something she was used to.)

„Since you're not sitting anyway, can you go and fetch Cobblepot for us?” Jacques asked her carelessly and Crane shot him a scandalized look. „He's taking forever to get ready. Fucking narcissus.”

„Sure.” she said shortly, turned around and walked away, her heels clicking rhythmically on marble – and then wooden – floor.

Oswald was trying to decide between two ties in similar shades of yellow, when she entered the room without knocking.

„Always a pleasure.” he said, still staring at his reflection in Jacques's giant mirror. „Which one is better?”

„Both are equally terrible. The right one looks like a good quality silk though.”

She winked at him and in response he smirked and turned around. He still looked good in a suit, and this thing looked custom made – perfectly tailored, in a deep, nearly black shade of blue.

„Care to help me out with it?” he asked, coming closer.

„Yellow tie with a dark blue suit, Oswald? You are a disaster.” she sighed, tying it for him, his eyes on her face.

„But a beautiful one.”

She finally looked up and her eyes met his. There it was – this mischievous spark, a sign of trouble, a promise.

„True.” she admitted, finally stepping back and watching as he slightly loosens the knot, his eyes still on her. „Now come on. I don't want Jacques and Crane to get any funny ideas.”

„They wouldn't be wrong though.” he said, putting his arm around her waist, just like he did when they first met and he was pretending she's his good friend. „Plus I'm sure Jacques noticed I've been borrowing his car.”

„Maybe he thinks you're having fishing trips.”

„Darlin', the only thing I'd fish out of the Gotham River are corpses. No, he knows about our little thing. Speaking of which... Don't drink too much wine tonight.” he suddenly whispered, brushing her temple with his lips. „Alright?”

„Fine.” she muttered back, not sure how to interpret this sudden, quiet act of tenderness. Sure, he was trying to tell her to not get drunk, because he wanted to have some fun – but the rest was a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

When they returned – his arm still around her – other people had arrived. Maroni and his mysterious lady friend were nowhere to be seen, but she still could see some new faces. Both men were chatting with Esme and Misty; eventually the former noticed Charlie and Oswald and smiled at them.

„Charlie!” she called out in her slightly raspy voice. „Have you met my brother?”

„Not yet, no.” Charlie replied, approaching them, Oswald following few steps behind. „But the night's still young.”

Esme's brother was named Rocco, Rocco Wilson. He was a calm, young man of Pakistani descent; he and Esme were adoptive siblings and were close friends before they even got adopted.

„We told them we come as a joint package.” Rocco said with a smile, gently squeezing his sister's hand as she looked at him with her gorgeous, almond-shaped eyes the color of the full moon. „They were meaning to take us both anyway, but we wanted to be absolutely sure. And here we are!”

„Here you are indeed, waiting for Sal, who's running late to his own damn party.” a man standing next to them agreed, cocking his head. „Cobblepot.”

„Bullock.” Oswald greeted him reservedly. „Long time no see, detective.”

„Damn, Oswald, cut me some slack, wouldn't ya? Unlike some, I have a job to keep.”

He lit up a cigarette and looked at Charlie.

„And you must be Charlotte.”

„No, I'm Charlie.” she corrected him. „Sal's the only one to call me that. Let's keep it that way.”

„Noted. I'm Bullock. Harvey Bullock. Also... Hungry.”

„You're always hungry, Bullock.” Jacques claimed, approaching them with a glass of wine. „But same. Do you think Sal and Fish will be mad if we start without them?”

„Yes. And that's a damn great argument to do it.”

„Well, count me out. I've peeked into the kitchen. Fish. Lots and lots of fish.” Oswald said, looking disgusted. „Someone's trying to kill me.”

„Oh, but I thought penguins love fish!” Charlie said, gently nudging him with her elbow and he grimaced and shuddered.

„Not this penguin. I despise fish.”

„Oh, but I'm sure there's at least one fish you love, isn't there, pretty boy?”

The voice coming from the patio door didn't belong to anyone Charlie knew; it was sultry and smooth like silk.

When she turned around to see who said that she saw the elusive Fish Mooney herself – and it felt a bit like a revelation, the way her intensively purple fringe played with her dark skin and the way her expensive cocktail dress hugged her hips and the way her heels made the marble tiles sing. It felt a bit like a revelation and a bit like falling in love – it was something in her aura, something in her step.

Or maybe it was something in the way Oswald's face lit up when he saw her and spread his arms and pulled her into a tight embrace as she kissed his cheeks.

„Fish bloody Mooney, I'll be damned.” he said, visibly overjoyed. „Finally!”

„Ah, I knew you'll be happy to see me, boy.” she said with a sly grin, ignoring everyone else, her eyes on Oswald and his eyes on her.

(For a brief moment Charlie felt an odd sting somewhere near her heart.)

„Have you been bad?”

„I've been absolutely despicable, Fish.”

„Good. That's my Oswald.”

She affectionately patted his cheek and he grinned. Finally, Fish turned her attention to Charlie.

„So, you're Charlie. You're shorter than I thought.”

„People always underestimate the ankle-biters. It never ends well.”

Fish only laughed in response, turned around and walked up to Bullock, who was watching her quietly, attentively and-

He's in love with her, she realized suddenly. He looks at her the same way Esme looks at Misty, the same way I looked at Harry on our wedding photo. He's in love. He probably feels at peace now. He looks at her like she's a sunset, turning the sky into something even more beautiful.

„The worst woman in Gotham.” Oswald said quietly, putting his hand on Charlie's shoulder; she shuddered from the sudden touch of his cold fingers. „Or the best one. Depends on how you look at it.”

„She seems... Interesting.”

„Oh, I was hoping you'd say nice.” Fish replied, with her back turned to Charlie and Oswald. „I'll take it as a compliment, sweetheart.”

After the dinner – Maroni showed up late, no sign of his elusive tech guy – people started to leave, one by one. Esme and Misty wanted to give Charlie a ride home – but she politely refused, glancing at Oswald, who was playing with Bullock's pocket knife, while listening attentively to detective's tired rant. He was quickly moving the blade, flicking it with his long fingers and she wondered if it's a hint for the things to come.

(She hoped not; she liked her lingerie. She'd rather not have it cut to pieces, even by Oswald.)

„I'm not going home tonight.” she finally said, her attention back to the couple. „I have... Things to do.”

„And is any of the things you're going to do named Oswald by any chance?” Esme asked, her eyes glimmering playfully behind her elegant glasses.

Charlie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, feeling – and looking – flustered.

„Who else knows?” she asked and Misty – who was checking her email on her phone – looked up, glanced at her wife and finally turned her attention to Charlie.

„Everyone.” she said shortly. „We all knew it's going to happen eventually. It's no big deal though, we're all adults here.”

„And... Sal..?”

„He doesn't care, as long as you don't rat Oswald out. Your sex life's your own... Which basically translates into „please don't give me any details, ever”. Deal?”

„I'm kinda curious though.” Esme admitted. „How does it happen between the two of you? How do you come if there's a man involved? You know. Those things.”

„I know you want to treat me as your token heterosexual friend, but please, Esme, I'm bi. We both are. And as for orgasms... We're getting bi.”

Esme and Misty both groaned and Charlie grinned with satisfaction.

Finally, she and Oswald were left alone, with Jacques holed up in his own guest room. She almost felt sorry for him – almost. Oswald's hand creeping up her thigh was very effective at keeping her mind away from Jacques and his problems.

„Jacques will hear us...” Charlie muttered, as he kissed her neck, his other hand searching for the zipper of her dress.

„Not if you'll keep quiet.” he said in response, tenderly brushing her arm with his lips. „Can you do that?”

„You know damn well I can't.” she said and gasped as his teeth found her neck. „See?”

„Whoops. My bad.” he said and even though she couldn't see his face she knew he's smirking in that infuriating way that always made her want to either punch or kiss him.

Her hands were free this time, free to roam his body and free to cover her mouth to muffle the sounds he was making her body sing.

She stayed the night, after they were done. As she was lying in his bed, her hair ruffled and her body relaxed he turned his head to look at her; and as they were both lying on their stomachs he reached out and – gently, softly, tenderly – stroked her face with his scarred hand and asked her to stay.

„Alright.” she muttered, feeling more and more sleepy. „I can do that. I'll be here when you wake up.”

For a brief moment, he looked like he wanted to say something – and maybe he did, but she didn't hear it. She dozed off as his eyes were on her face and his hand on her freckled cheek. It felt nice – to fall asleep feeling someone's tender touch. She could get used to it; again.

***

When she woke up the next day Oswald was still asleep next to her; it felt a lot like a deja vu, except this time there wasn't any blood smudged on his face.

He looked peaceful, even despite the scars. Seeing him like this – peaceful, vulnerable, quiet – made her feel something. Something she'd rather not feel. Something she remembered feeling, long time ago, in another life.

(His quiet, warm presence felt like home. His arms wrapped around her felt like home.)

As she was lying still, her thoughts a racing mess, horrifying realization slowly dawning upon her Oswald opened one eye and glanced at her sleepily.

„You're still here.” he stated and yawned, his eye closing again. „That's nice.”

„You wouldn't let me go.” she said jokingly and in response he sighed and untangled his limbs, letting her go.

„Can you make me a cup of coffee?” he muttered, his eyes still closed.

„Only if you say pretty please.”

„Don't use my own tools against me.” he muttered. „You might regret it.”

„Is that a promise?”

„It might be. But please. Coffee.”

She wrapped herself in a nearby blanket and went to kitchen, trying to not overthink anything. It was nothing, she was sure of it; all of it meant absolutely nothing.

Someone was in the kitchen, someone she hadn't seen before, someone tall, dark skinned and suspiciously energetic.

„Good morning!” the person said after seeing Charlie stand awkwardly just outside the kitchen. „Do you need something?”

„Uh... Coffee?” she said with uncertainty, trying to figure out who is she looking at. That person seemed friendly and harmless and their messy, messy hair and slightly scratched arms implied a fun night. „I'm sorry, but who are you?” she finally asked, as the person turned around in search of a clean mug.

„I'm Eddie. Eddie Nygma.” he said cheerfully and she cocked her head, wondering when did he sneak into Peperoncino. „And you, I assume, are Charlie. Is that coffee for Oswald?”

„Uh... Yeah. You're the tech guy, right?”

„Mmmhm. Is everything alright with your phone?”

„Yeah, it works fi- Wait, how did you know the coffee is for Oswald?”

„I know him pretty well.” he said cheerfully, handing her a cup of coffee. „There you go. Did you have a fun night?”

His eyes for a moment rested on her bare shoulders and a place where Oswald bit her a bit too hard last night.

„Did you have a fun night?” she asked in return, staring at his own scratch marks.

They both shrugged and smiled; she then turned around and returned to Oswald.

„I just met Nygma.” she informed him as he was slowly waking up.

„Oh yeah?” he muttered sipping the black liquid. „He's alright.”

„Seems like I wasn't the only one being mistreated this night.” she said with a faint smile and he winked at her.

She left him shortly after – she needed some time to herself. She needed to collect herself and maybe figure out what was going on in her head.

Being with Oswald... Made her feel something. Something not entirely physical. She was content with just spending time with him, with just talking. She let her guard down for a moment, for a night; she let her guard down for a night and it made her feel something she didn't want to feel.

Charlie knew about Oswald far more than he knew about her. She knew his life story – and it seemed like he still hadn't find out about her story. She knew everything in excruciating detail; while he only knew she was, at some point, married.

(The fact he didn't seem to mind her social status as a rich heiress was still rubbing her the wrong way. It was the main reason she put her guard up in the first place; he hated the rich, and yet he seemed to crave her company. Maybe he craved her money. Maybe he wanted to seduce her into folly. But she wasn't going to let him to, not anytime soon.)

But his company still felt comforting. Like she could finally open up – which she never did. Everyone she met – except for Maroni, as she suspected he somehow knows the full story – only got bits and pieces. She was sure Louise is on her way to digging out the truth, now that Bullock and Rocco entered the picture; and she was damn sure at some point Oswald will get impatient and start digging as well.

But that problem could wait – she had more important matters to take care of, such as buying a house. She wanted something elegant, modern and relatively secluded; a place where she'd be able to hide from the outside world on a bad day, when the weight of her husband's body would feel like an iron ball chained to her ankle, dragging her down.

(She also wanted a place where Oswald would be able to visit her, to take her mind off her problems, to take her breath away. A place he wouldn't have to leave before the dawn.)

There was a house for sale few kilometers from the Wayne Manor – in Crest Hill, a prestigious suburb. It had three bedrooms, an enormous living room, three bathrooms, a library and the best-lit kitchen Charlie had ever seen; it looked nothing like her family home. It looked perfect.

The process of buying the home went smoothly, thanks to Maroni's subtle influence – in fact he offered he can simply buy it for her as a welcome gift, but she declined. She was sure it would somehow become public – and she really didn't want people to get any funny ideas about her and Salvatore Maroni. She preferred being his relatively mysterious, recently widowed friend for the time being.

(Being perceived as his lover could come in handy, just... Not yet.)

She was glad for his help though – she started to have weird problems focusing, some time after her night at Peperoncino. She simply couldn't focus on anything – her body wasn't letting her to. Her eyes were burning, she had troubles breathing and swallowing, her head felt like it's filled with cotton wool and her fingers felt like they're shivering, despite not moving – it was a weird feeling, happening somewhere deep beneath the surface.

„Are you alright?” Louise asked her one day, during brunch. „You look pale.”

It was Friday and Charlie was just finishing picking furniture for her new home. It turned out to be a lot more complicated than it seemed – since her casual arrangement with Oswald seemed to be fairly stable, she wanted to buy some pieces of furniture he'd deem suitable for their needs. And he turned out to be extremely picky.

„Oz is driving me insane.” she muttered back, furiously typing a reply to Oswald's text that was a long criticism of a bed frame.

do you want me to just order a custom thing? i know a guy working for leathercave, you grump.

Actually...

...no, oswald, that was a joke. forget it

„Yeah, he does that.” Louise said, stirring her iced coffee. „Is everything alright between you two?”

„Why do you ask?”

„And why are you avoiding answering the question?”

Charlie sighed and rubbed her forehead with the back of her palm. She kept forgetting that Louise is – after all – a lawyer; she could be relentless. And was good at asking questions.

Was everything alright between her and Oswald? She didn't know; it's been a while since their last rendez-vous, but they kept in touch; and she often found herself thinking about him, about the way he looked just after waking up, the way he brushed her face with his hand, the way he laughed, the way waking up in his warm embrace felt like home. He was often on her mind and it was concerning.

„I think we're doing good.” she said finally, reaching for her iced tea. „As two separate people, that is. There is no we to speak of.”

„Are you sure?” Louise asked, raising her eyebrow. „You know you don't have to lie to me. I'm not on Maroni's side, I'm on songbird's side.”

Songbird was another of many nicknames Louise was using when talking about Oswald Cobblepot in public places – she sometimes referred to him as Tommy, or beautiful idiot, or her cousin Chester.

„What are you getting at, Louise?”

„You two aren't dating, are you?”

Charlie laughed and shook her head at this ridiculous idea.

„It's not like that. We're friends with benefits – a series of one night stands, platonic strings attached. It's nothing deep, nothing romantic.” she assured Louise; it felt heavy on her tongue, like the most blatant lie – and it left her feeling like someone was choking her, squeezing her neck with strong, slender fingers.

And something in Louise's face, something in her eyes told her her friend isn't believing in anything she said.

***

Finally the grand day arrived – the day she was saying goodbye to her hotel apartment and hello to her new home, just outside Gotham. Her belongings she was keeping in a rented warehouse in NYC arrived few days ago – all her clothes and books and other things she collected over the years of her life devoid of any problems and doubts.

Harvey Bullock helped her unpack – other people offered their help as well, but she decided to settle on Harvey. He seemed capable and was making her feel at ease – he wasn't talkative and his presence was calming.

(He reminded her of her father, with his calm eyes, jokes both dry and jovial at the same time and welcoming, attentive demeanor. Also she figured this might be a good occasion to find out some stuff about Fish Mooney, who seemed to be extremely close with Oswald.)

„How's work?” she asked, as they were putting her old comics on a shelf.

„I'm helping out friendly ADA with making Gotham believe Penguin is long gone. It's harder than it sounds, because... He's an idiot.”

„Oh?”

„About three weeks ago we got a call from some worked up clerk who was doing some late night grocery shopping. He claimed to have seen Cobblepot on the street.”

„...right.” she said slowly, avoiding looking at Harvey's face. Three weeks ago Oswald visited her in the hotel. Her skin still tingled at the memory of ice cubes.

„This has to end, Charlie.” Harvey said suddenly, shaking his head and she looked at him in surprise. „I know he was there because of you, but this has to end. Months of work, almost... Almost gone. All because Cobblepot couldn't jerk off like a normal person.”

(She didn't have the right words to explain the true nature of their arrangement to Harvey Bullock. She didn't have the right words to explain who gets the most out of their evenings.)

„What do you want me to do?” she instead asked defensively. „It's not my fault.”

„If you're so hellbent on... Doing whatever the fuck you're doing with him, then have him move in with you.” Bullock said, sounding surprisingly nervous. „Maybe it'll work out for you two.”

It didn't sound like the worst possible idea, Charlie concluded; „having Oswald move in” did have a nice ring to it. To have him around when she wakes up and when she falls asleep, to not have to limit their time together.

„You know, Charlie, you and Oswald... You kinda remind me of me and Fish.”

Hearing this Charlie instantly furrowed her brows, wondering what the hell does he mean by this. It was not a secret Harvey and Fish were a thing – Oswald told her that the same evening she met them. They've been together for years now, and they met when Bullock was investigating Falcone's crime empire. Back then, Fish Mooney was a double agent of sorts – everybody knew her night club and everybody knew it's one of Falcone's shady business hubs. What people didn't know was the fact Fish was constantly feeding information to Maroni, who was Falcone's golf partner.

Bullock met her years ago, and they've been seeing each other regularly since then; they somehow made it work, despite one of them being a notorious criminal and the other one being a cop. One was a respected citizen, while the other one was... Less respected – but they managed to keep their thing going, to keep it hidden from the public eye.

„What do you mean by this?” Charlie asked anyway, despite knowing of all that and Harvey shot her an amused look.

„Acting dumb? Fine, your game, your rules. But the similarities are there, girl.”

He paused for a moment, looking for the right words.

„And there might be more of 'em than you suspect.” he finished, turned around and left the room to get another box, leaving her puzzled.

Once the boxes were unpacked – most of them, at least; she decided she's not going to make Bullock help her with her clothes – she was left alone, just her and her thoughts. She was tempted to message Oswald, to get him to come, to keep her company – the house was obviously bigger than her hotel apartment at The Peak and all this blank space was further amplifying the overwhelming sense of loneliness. She wished she had a pet.

(She never wanted one before everything went to shit.)

Her first night in her new home in Gotham was mostly sleepless, as her thoughts eventually drifted towards Harry, towards his eyes, his smile, the way they said „I do”, the way he was making her feel beautiful and loved, even on worst days. And yet when she was lying in her new bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about her – dead cold gone – husband all she wanted was not to hear his voice again or to be kissed by him again; no, all she wanted was for Oswald Cobblepot to be there.

***

It took her about a week to face the cold, hard truth – she was in love. And when the realization truly came, it didn't even come from her – it came from Louise and Misty and Harvey.

It all made sense, when they spelled it out for her. It all made sense – the way she felt around him, the way she felt when she woke up in his arms and looked at his face, the way she felt like his company might somehow fill the emptiness in her heart, this place where Harry used to be.

And Harry – despite being dead and gone and buried – was the biggest obstacle standing between her and admitting her feelings in the first place. What he did to her, what he made her do, what they did to each other – it was unforgivable. Unforgettable. It was something she had to work through – and she had no idea how to start. She wasn't even sure if she wants to work through it.

The perspective of sitting down with a shrink and telling them everything was too much to bear. It would probably be Jonathan Crane – who was, after all, a psychiatrist, and a damn good one – but she couldn't bear imagining his face after hearing how she one day grabbed an ice pick and drew it through Harry's neck, after making him beg for his life.

(Killing Harry felt... It was one of the things she didn't want to admit, one of those things she wanted to repress, to hide, to forget; it felt good. Vengeance felt good. His blood on her hands felt good – for a moment. Then it felt like nothing, like ash, like shame.)

She decided to pay her parents a visit, to maybe clean up their graves. She missed them – she missed her father's kind eyes and she missed her mother's warm hands. She missed how much they loved her – but the shame kept her from ever visiting, kept her away from New York.

She left Gotham one morning, when the city was still asleep. She locked her house and set up an alarm and left, like she already did once; but this time she didn't leave a message for anyone, even though this time there were people who might've been concerned about her house being empty, about her not being in her bed.

Her visit in NYC was short, as she only visited her parents. The graveyard where they were buried was mostly empty and quiet when she walked in; and her parents' grave was surprisingly clean and well-kept, as if someone was taking care of it during her absence.

(She felt a sting of remorse, of shame, of sadness. Crispin Schiller-Aberdeen. Eleanor Schiller-Aberdeen née Moran. It sounded so impersonal, like names of strangers, not people who raised her, who loved her, who died because of her.)

„Hi.” she said eventually, sitting on a small bench in front of their grave. „It's me. I'm... Sorry. I should have come sooner.”

The grave didn't respond, because after all, it was just a mass of stone, under which the corpses of her parents were hidden, lifeless, rotten, dead.

„I'm sorry.” she finally said, deciding to let it all out. „I am sorry... But it's your fault too, you know? It was my mistake and I never asked you to pay the price for it. I never asked you to take your own lives. It wasn't needed... But you did it anyway. You left me with my mistake. You left me... Alone.”

Her voice cracked and she paused for a moment, looking around to make sure no one's listening.

„But I'm fine now!” she said, her every word dripping with fake optimism. „I'm doing better. I... I got everything back. He paid the same price you did. And... I met someone. Oh, you'd absolutely hate him. Remember how you loved Harry? You'd hate Oswald. He has nothing to his name, nothing but old shame and spilled blood. I think I feel something for him... For his eyes and the way he makes me laugh and the way he makes me want to come back to Gotham. He makes me feel... Like I actually have something to come back to. Like I should try and start again.”

She paused again, trying to fight off the tears in her eyes, trying to stop herself from crying.

„And even if he doesn't feel the same, even if he's just another Harry, even if he's only after my money... At least I know I still remember how to love. I still know what love feels like. Maybe this one will leave me devastated – but I got tough. I can take another heartbreak. This one won't destroy me."

„Charlotte?” she heard a voice coming from behind her; she shivered slightly and turned around.

It was father Cassidy – her family's favorite priest, who was present during her baptism, during her wedding and during her parents's funeral. He looked older than she remembered him; more wrinkles and gray hair. But his eyes were exactly the way she remembered them – intelligent, filled with a compassionate spark, dark like a fertile soil.

„Hello, father.” she said, looking at his slightly agitated face. „Long time no see. Care to join me?”

„Where have you been, Charlotte?” he asked, sitting down next to her, firmly gripping his walking stick with trembling hands.

„Here and there, father. I was looking for something.”

„Did you find it?”

„Yes.” she said, returning her gaze to the silent grave. „I did.”

„Does it mean you're back? In New York?”

„No, father. I'm settling down in Gotham. Have you ever been to Gotham?”

„I have a family there. A brother and his wife and their four children.”

„Do you think it's a good place to start a family?”

„It's a place like any other. A place can't be good or bad. It depends on the people.”

„Well, do you think people in Gotham are good?”

„Nobody is fully and truly good or bad, Charlotte.” father Cassidy said, also looking at the grave. „Nobody is just one thing. We're all multifaceted.”

„Even Harry Spencer?”

She turned her head to look at Cassidy's somber profile.

„Was he multifaceted, father?” she repeated her question and father Cassidy sighed and shook his head.

„I can't give you the answer you want to hear, Charlotte. I am... Terribly sorry about what happened. To you, to your family... It was a tragedy.”

„Was this tragedy multifaceted, father?” she asked, her voice cracking again. „Was it not truly and fully bad?”

„I'm not going to argue with you, child. Neither of us can win.”

„No, you're not going to win. I know the truth.”

She got up from the bench, smoothed down her black coat and looked at father Cassidy – an old man who knew her since she was an infant and who wed her to Harry fucking Spencer – one last time, trying to see him as an anchor, as something leading her to her old life, something which might prompt her to abandon Gotham and Oswald and Maroni.

But she didn't see anything like this in father Cassidy; so she simply bid him farewell, turned around and walked away, leaving him on that small bench in front of her parents's final resting place.

She was back in Gotham two days later and her phone was blowing up. People had been worried sick – Bullock almost organized an official search party. People she left behind expected the worst – and their relief when she came back was something she couldn't fully comprehend. She couldn't tell if it's genuine. She hoped it's genuine.

Oswald showed up on her doorstep after she returned. He didn't text, he didn't call; she just heard the doorbell ring and there he was, towering over her, his hands crossed on his chest, look of pure determination on his face.

„Allo.” he said to her, staring her down, along with her bathrobe and her pajamas. „Can I come in?”

„What do you want, Oswald?” she asked, closing the door behind him.

„You.” he said simply and her heart skipped a beat.

She was thinking about him that afternoon. Slowly, carefully she considered her feelings. She put them all together and took a long and good look at them and finally put a label on them – and the label said „love”. She was in love and she was damn sure it's one sided and is going to end with a heartbreak. She was sure there are no real feelings coming from his side – he was only after the money. He was only after the freedom her money could get him. He was a master manipulator and he was manipulating her by singing her body electric, by giving her what she wanted.

She decided to not give in to his manipulations. She knew she can take another heartbreak – but she didn't want to endure it so quickly, so soon after burying her husband, her first love.

They didn't look at each other that night; she absentmindedly wondered who is Oswald thinking about when her lips are on him, if there's someone who truly matters to him, if there's someone making his heart skip a beat. She wondered if there's a special someone, serving as an inspiration for him constantly giving her everything she wanted – attention, sex, a fragile sense of safety.

She wondered.

***

Being in love didn't feel good. It felt stifling, suffocating; like still air on a hot day just before the storm. It felt dangerous – she's been in love once and it didn't end well. It felt like a trap. Like a recipe for another disaster.

(His arms felt like home. His fingers on her face felt like home.)

She tried to escape this ridiculous, humid stiffness, this choking feeling in her throat. She tried to escape it by drowning herself in cold water.

Well, not literally. She wasn't trying to commit suicide, she was simply taking a lot of cold baths. One too many it seems, considering one morning she woke up with a headache and a cold.

(She dreamt about Oswald a lot ever since her return from the New York, ever since he showed up on her doorstep with that awful Cockney rolling out of his mouth, with that oddly determined look on his face. She dreamt about him a lot since realizing she actually, genuinely loves him; almost as if it unlocked some secret part of her brain, called „dreams to make you sad”. She'd often wake up with her face pressed into a pillow.)

„Fuck.” she muttered to herself, feeling weak. „That's just great.”

It's been about two weeks since her last night with Oswald. She started to actively avoid him – pleasure wasn't worth the pain of trying to figure out who's really in his heart.

Also, she was sure she might crack and say something she'd regret. He was good at making her crack. She didn't want to know how he'd react if one day she said she loves him.

She mostly spent those two weeks tightening her bonds with other people. She went to another party with Salvatore and spent the evening gossiping with Louise. She helped Esme and Misty hide their anniversary gifts from each other. She went to one of Crane's lectures. She even tried to befriend Jacques, but it was difficult; it was difficult to be at Peperoncino and to not head upstairs, to spend the day in a certain criminal's company.

(He was often on her mind, way too fucking often. It was maddening.)

It didn't mean she was ignoring him; she'd reply to his texts. She'd pick up the phone on those rare occasions when he decided to call; but her replies would be short and the conversations would be as concise as humanly possible.

And not even once he asked her what is going on, if they're done, if he maybe did something. Not even once.

(It hurt more than she wanted to admit.)

So, one day – after a long streak of ice cold baths – she woke up sick. She had the third worst headache of her life, she was coughing her lungs out and her whole body felt hot and cold at the same time. She felt like she's dying – she was also out of cold medicine and was definitely not in the right shape to go out and get some; so she called Crane, who was – after all – a doctor. Sure, he was a psychiatrist, but it was no secret he's capable and experienced in other areas of human health as well. He did patch Oswald up after his last run-down with the Batman – and he did it beautifully. If she didn't know, she wouldn't have guessed.

„Gosh, I'm so sorry!” Crane said in the most apologetic way possible, after she described her symptoms through the phone. „I have my hands full today... But I can send someone else to take care of you.”

„As long as they're competent, doc.”

„Oh, I assure you, they're incredibly competent. Please take care.”

„Thanks, doc. You too.”

About an hour later her doorbell rang and she dragged herself to the front door, shivering and sniffling, doing her best to stand straight.

She wasn't sure who was she expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't Oswald.

„Top of the morning to you, beautiful stranger!” he said, shooting her a quick grin. „Even though it's afternoon.”

„You can't be here.” she muttered in response, avoiding looking at his face. „I'm expecting someone.”

„Yes. Me. Crane called me.”

„He promised me someone competent.” Charlie fired back without thinking.

„I'm very competent when it comes to taking care of you. I thought we already established that.” he said, seemingly completely unconcerned.

She sighed, turned around and shuffled off, returning to her living room; Oswald followed.

„Did you steal someone's car again?” she asked, wrapping herself in her biggest blanket.

„No, I borrowed it. And this time... I asked.”

„And did Jacques agree?”

„Of course he didn't.”

„You were this close to losing your bad boy charm, you know.” she muttered, closing her eyes, trying to focus. „So. What now?”

„Now I'm going to treat you to the best damn cold medicine in history. Also I'm going to stick around for a while. To... Make sure you're alright.”

What was that in his voice? Concern? Uncertainty? She didn't know and she didn't care.

„What are you going to put in me?” she asked instead and he snickered in response.

„Not myself, I'm afraid.” he said and she groaned. She'd hit him with a pillow, if she wasn't so weak. „It's a polish thing. Ever been to Poland?”

„Didn't have the pleasure.”

„Me neither. But there's a lot of Poles where I grew up. They took me in. Apparently by polish standards I'm an absolute delight.”

(Not just by their standards, she almost said, but bit her tongue and only groaned instead.)

„I need to use your stove first.”

„Kitchen's behind us.” she muttered, her eyes still closed. „What else do you need?”

„A pot. And a glass. I think I'll manage. You just... Stay here. Try to not die.”

He returned a few minutes later, with a tiny glass filled with a suspiciously smelling liquid. The smell was strong enough to get through her stuffy nose; but she couldn't for the life of her figure out what might actually be in there.

„What am I about to drink?” she asked cautiously, glaring at the steam rising from the surface. „If I die I'm going to haunt you, you know.”

„I'll get an Ouija board just to talk with you.” he promised nonchalantly. „But this isn't going to kill you, I promise.”

The substance did taste like something that might kill her; but she somehow drank it all. Her throat was burning and the weird, intense flavor almost instantly brought tears to her eyes.

„Vodka, honey and some cloves.” Oswald announced cheerfully, as she struggled to swallow the last gulp. „Works every time!”

„You fucking monster.” she whimpered, her throat on fire. „I'm going to die!”

He only laughed in response, sank onto her couch and put his feet up on her coffee table.

(He looked relaxed. He looked peaceful. He looked beautiful. Even sick and miserable she wanted to kiss him; but she knew he wouldn't give in. She felt disgusting, all sweat and stickiness. Also she hadn't brushed her teeth that day.)

They talked – mostly about nothing. About other people. He told her some stories about Fish and Bullock and their initial struggles and about how Misty used to be in relationship with Crane and about how Nygma apparently somehow gets along with literally everyone.

Eventually he offhandedly mentioned Lady Arkham – and the way he spoke her name, the sudden weird glimmer in his eyes... Suddenly everything made sense.

Oh, Charlie thought, not quite listening. Well then. Silly, silly me.

Of course it was all about her. They almost destroyed the city together. They almost brought Batman down together. He was her second in command and she was the devil on his shoulder. Of course it was all about her; it was all about her and what they shared and what they almost accomplished together.

(One more time Charlie pondered how weird it is to sit on a couch with a wanted criminal and chat about his failed plans. Oswald had a lot of blood on his hands, a lot of pent up anger inside of him, and now there it was – her proof she ultimately means nothing to him. Of course.)

„Do you miss her?” she asked, her masochistic side taking the better of her.

Oswald sighed and nodded.

„Every day.” he confessed. „She was a little shit, and an even worse person than me, but... She understood. And that's more than can be said about almost everyone in this bloody city.”

„What do you think happened to her?”

Why in hell was she dwelling on that subject? Did she really want to put some more salt on her open wound?

„Heavens know.” Oswald said, his voice almost cracking. „Part of me hopes she's alive, but... She's most likely not. She's probably buried in Arkham. Ironic, innit?”

„Mostly just sad. Were her parents really... You know?”

„Oh, absolutely. But do you want to know the worst part?”

„Try me.”

„Sometimes I'd wish we could switch places.” he said quietly, in a strange, solemn tone of voice. „Sometimes... Sometimes I'd think this is still better than what I had. Still better than... Nothing.”

Her heart felt heavy in her chest and she looked away. Right.

That was part of a reason she didn't really tell him anything about her life before Gotham – when she lost everything, she was old enough to manage. To work through it.

(Or maybe she was just damn good at repressing it.)

What happened to Oswald, to his family – it happened when he was a kid. And he never got any closure; he tried and it didn't end well.

She felt more sorry for him than she probably should. That man sitting right next to her; he was still a remorseless criminal. Some people called him a monster. She was sure there is at least one mother in Gotham who uses Oswald as a boogeyman – and for a good reason.

And yet, all she felt was positive.

(Part of her was attracted to what he did. She could hear father Cassidy's words in her head, crystal clear; no one is truly and fully good or bad. People are multifaceted. Maybe the evil in him was attracting the evil in her. Maybe it was her own naivete she never really outgrew.)

She hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder; he sighed, closed his eyes and covered her hand with his own, pleasantly warm.

„World's a fucked up place.” she said eventually. „And what happened to you, what the Waynes did... You didn't deserve any of it.”

„I kept telling myself that ever since I found out what really happened.” he muttered in response, his eyes still closed. „And look at me now.”

There was a lot of things she wanted to tell him.

I wouldn't have you any other way.

I still love you.

There's still some good left in you. Not a lot of it, but still.

I wish we met before the world destroyed us.

I wish we've met before they convinced you life is war.

„I can think of worse things to look at.” she said instead and he smiled faintly.

„How are you feeling?” he asked. „Better?”

„Yeah, I think this... Thing actually helped. A bit.”

„Then I guess one more glass should do the trick. And then you should get some sleep.”

„And a bath.”

„Can you even walk straight?”

„...maybe.”

„Well, I can help. And I promise... I'll be good.”

He smirked at her and she shook her head in disapproval.

(She was glad for his offer though. She was feeling exhausted; and the alcohol didn't help with her sense of balance.)

It felt a bit weird – it was the first time his hands on her naked body didn't mean fun. He was gentle and it felt so, so relaxing; a welcome change.

It didn't stop her body from reacting to his hands though – with her hair still wet, she put his hand on her breast.

„Oh, doctor.” she said, half jokingly. „I want you.”

He let out a quiet laugh and took his hand away, shaking his head.

„This isn't covered by your insurance. Now come on. Get up.”

Once she was mostly dry and in her warmest pajamas, he actually carried her to her bedroom – she insisted she can walk, he insisted she shouldn't.

(He won. Of course he did – he was stronger. Plus she enjoyed the feeling; his arms felt safe. His arms felt like home.)

Finally, he forced her to drink one more glass of his hellish slavic concoction – it still tasted and burned like hell, but she knew he's relentless.

(The thought of prolonging this odd episode of caring was tempting and she almost simulated a hissy fit.)

„Now, try to get some sleep. You'll feel better once you wake up.”

„Will you be here when I wake up?” she muttered, her eyelids heavy like her heart.

„It can be arranged, love.” he said softly. „I'm free like a bird.”

(She fell asleep thinking about his anecdote about how he and Vicki Vale once put on a show, shortly before he shot Hamilton Hill; she had to act like a terrified civilian and he had to act like she's not his boss. He called her love in the most menacing, derogatory way possible; and everybody ate it up. She wondered if he sometimes called her that in a way meant for this word.)

He wasn't there when she woke up. Sure, she woke up feeling ten times better, her cold completely gone – but it would feel so nice to wake up with him somewhere nearby.

Instead, he left a note. She smiled faintly at this sight – naturally. It was his turn to sneak out.

The note was an apology; he said something unexpected had turned out, that he was needed elsewhere.

„Well fuck, I need you as well.” she muttered, putting the note in the drawer of her nightstand.

(Did she need him? Or did she simply want him? She couldn't tell the difference anymore.)

***

She had plans for the next day - Fish Mooney was finally reopening her night club and was hosting an exclusive, invitation-only party to celebrate it. Only her friends and actual VIPs received elegant invitations to Waterfront's launch night – and Charlie was actually more than a bit surprised when she received hers.

She only met Fish a few times; and sure, she liked that woman. She was dominant, elegant, direct. She knew what she wants and how to get it and Charlie caught herself pondering on how it feels to be the object of Fish's desire more than once. But still, they only met a few times and never really talked about anything important – and yet there it was.

„Should I be worried?” she asked Misty during a phone call.

„About what?”

„About Fish. Wanna hear my paranoia talk?”

„Oh god, I think I know where this is going...” Misty sighed and Charlie could hear a faint knocking in the background. „Shit. Gotta go, my assistant brought me documents I asked for.”

„You have an assistant?!”

„Yeah, what's so shocking about it?”

„I never heard about a journalist with an assistant.”

„Well, I'm one of a kind.” Misty said nonchalantly. „I wrote the best articles on Cobblepot, I can do whatever I want. Plus, Theo really needed a job and I really have to go. But don't worry about Fish. She's... Well, not exactly harmless. But she's on our side. Yes, Theo, come in!”

Misty ended the call and Charlie was left with her doubts. They came seemingly out of nowhere – absolutely nothing was suggesting Fish wants her on her side to use her deep pockets to get away from Maroni and build her own empire. Hell, if that was the case Charlie would gladly help if only Fish asked outright – but the minimal probability of being used again was enough of a spark to ignite the flames of her paranoia.

She locked it away – for now; same way she did with her doubts and fears related to Oswald. The best way to solve a problem was to ignore it.

(Now she understood why her sudden breakdown the other way was so intense. In hindsight, it all made sense, every little thing.)

She had a dress to pick. Her doubts could wait.

***

The Waterfront was hidden even better than Peperoncino – it was, after all, an exclusive place. It used to be one of Falcone's crown jewels; after his death and hastily cutting all ties with him Fish could in theory make it more open to general public, but she decided on keeping the exclusive tag on.

Louise was waiting for her near the entrance and she didn't look happy.

„Fucking Wayne is here.” Lou said to her before Charlie even had the time to say hi. „I want to die.”

„And good evening to you as well.” Charlie replied and winked at her and Louise shrugged angrily. „Oh come on, cheer up. It's not like you absolutely have to talk to him.”

„No, but you do. He's interested in you.”

„What?!”

„Oh, for fuck's... Don't act so shocked. It's a well known fact he's a bachelor and you're a rich, attractive, young woman who recently moved here. Of course he's interested.”

„I don't like the sound of it.” Charlie stated firmly. „And I don't like him.”

„You barely know him. I mean, I know why I hate him, but you... Talked to him once.”

„Yeah, well, maybe I got some of this disdain from your cousin. Can I ask you something?”

„Shoot.”

„Why are you calling him Chester?”

Louise smirked.

„Well, the short answer is... His middle name is Chesterfield. Yes. I know. His parents named him like this.”

(Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot. What a mouthful!

Suddenly she remembered their first conversation; she asked him if there's a shorter version of his name and he called himself a mouthful. And yet – for some reason – she couldn't bear herself to call him Oz again.

Also she wondered if he considers her a hypocrite for calling his name „a mouthful”, all while being named Charlotte Beatrice Elizabeth Schiller-Aberdeen.)

The place was crowded – apparently Fish's list of friends and VIPs was very long. She was surprised to see Bullock in the crowd – he looked almost comfortable, wearing a suit instead of his usual tired coat. He shaved.

„Did he frock up just for her?”

„She has him wrapped around her finger. I'm pretty sure he'd take a bullet for her.” Louise replied, without even looking in Bullock's general direction. „Oh, I found our girls.”

Misty and Esme found them a booth in the corner of the room, with a good view on everyone. Soon after Charlie and Louise sat down Fish approached them; she was wearing a crimson dress and Charlie found herself a bit lost in the crevice between her breasts.

(And judging from expressions on her companions faces, she wasn't the only one.)

„I'm glad you all made it.” Fish then said, her eyes focused on Charlie. „Especially you. How's Gotham treating you?”

„I've got nothing to complain about... For now.”

„Oh, trust me, you will find something.” Fish said with a knowing smile. „Or someone.”

„Maybe I already found someone to complain about.” she said without thinking.

„And who might it be?”

(Louise who was texting someone under the table paused her typing for a moment; out of the corner of her eye, Charlie saw her becoming oddly tense.)

„I'd rather keep it to myself for now.”

When Fish left – followed by Harvey, who seemed both desperate for her attention and like he'd rather die than say it out loud – after a brief period of silence, the girls loosened up and started talking, politely ignoring everything Charlie just said.

(She felt like this is going to bite her in the ass, sooner or later. Probably sooner.)

It was a pleasant night – eventually Harvey joined them for some time, as he felt the urge to lovingly complain about Fish to someone.

(Apparently she was driving him mad, but the spark in his eyes was saying something completely different.)

She somehow managed to avoid Bruce Wayne altogether that night – he was there, she saw him and he courteously nodded in her direction, but didn't approach; she sensed it might be because of her company. She knew Louise is shooting him menacing looks and she was glad.

(Even though she was kind of curious. Bruce and Oz – Oswald – grew up together and for years he knew her criminal heart-throb better than anyone else. What kind of person Cobblepot used to be before Thomas robbed him of his innocence? But there was no good way to ask this question; she couldn't just walk up to Bruce Wayne and ask him about him childhood friend, who might or might not be the source of her emotional anguish.)

„You're staring at Wayne.” Esme asked her eventually, glancing at her. „Why?”

„I'm wondering how to ask him about Oswald.” she replied, taking her eyes off Wayne's back. „They grew up together.”

„Well, Wayne does live for attention, so I'd say... Just pat him on a shoulder and be blunt.”

„Why are you suddenly interested in Oswald's childhood?” Misty asked, before Charlie could say anything. „You can just ask him, you know.”

„I'm interested in an outside perspective.”

„Well, Wayne did do an interview or two about his friendship with Oswald... I can dig them out for you.”

„Or maybe let's let her talk to him.” Esme suddenly said with a pensive expression on her face. „We could use someone who knows what's up in his life.”

„Treating me like a pawn, Midnight?” Charlie asked jokingly, shaking her head.

„Not a pawn. An asset. Knowing what is Wayne up to might be vital in our little... Enterprise.”

„Isn't Salvatore friends with him already though?”

„Sal is friends with everyone, meaning he's friends with virtually no one. No, we need a personal touch here... And here's where you enter the picture.”

„Alright, I'm in.” Charlie said, against her better judgement. „What do you want me to do?”

„We can start with a conversation... Without Louise behind your back, trying to turn him into stone.” Esme finished with a wink and Louise nonchalantly flipped her off.

„Oh, and be somewhere near. I need a picture.” Misty added with a grin. „It'll be a beautiful article.”

„Better don't make it front page though. I don't want to spend rest of my life in a public spotlight.”

„Your dirty little secrets are safe with us.” Misty assured her and Charlie furrowed her brows.

„Secrets? I don't have any secrets... Well, I have one.”

„Don't act dumb.” the journalist pressed on; judging by her eyes, she was slightly tipsy. „We ran a very thorough background check on you when Sal said he's interested. We know what happened in Perth.”

„Well done, Haze.” Louise said calmly, setting her glass down. „That was that one thing we agreed to not talk about.”

For some reason, the realization her secret was no longer a secret didn't make her feel anything. The other shoe had dropped; the truth was uncovered.

But it didn't bother her. After the initial shock had passed, she realized she's actually feeling... Glad. Like a great weight was lifted off her shoulders.

„Who else knows?” she simply asked. „And what... Exactly do you know?”

„We know your husband stole your fortune after the wedding.” Esme said hesitantly. „We know your parents... Are gone because of it. We also know you spent a long time trying to get everything back. We don't know exactly what happened between losing it and getting it back – you covered your tracks well – but we got the police reports. We know there was an... Accident when you finally tracked Harry down.”

(harry staring at her in shock pure fear in his eyes he was on his knees and he begged her forgiveness and she only shook her head and drove the cold sharp metal through his neck his blood on her hands his short scream ringing in her ears her love dead)

„There was no accident.” she finally admitted, for the first time. „I killed him. In cold blood.”

„Well.” Esme said after a long pause. „Now I kind of feel bad for asking you to be our mole in Wayne's life.”

„You are not using me though. You asked. I just... I'd rather avoid being used ever again, you know? Didn't feel great.”

(For a moment, her mind wandered off. For a moment, she thought about Oswald, about his failed attempt at getting his fortune back, about every time he offhandedly mentioned being determined to eventually get back what's his. About him being a great manipulator.)

„I'll be right back.” she said, getting up. „Time to befriend Bruce Wayne. How do I look?”

„Bomb.” Louise said, without looking up from her phone. „Do give him my regards.”

„Won't do.”

She approached Bruce Wayne, who looked bored. He was doing something on his phone; he briefly looked up and turned it off as soon as he recognized her.

„Miss Schiller-Aberdeen! Always a pleasure.” he said, smiling in the most blandly pleasant way possible.

(„Always a pleasure” Oswald once said as she entered the room where he was trying to choose between two nearly identical ties.)

„I figured it might be a good occasion to get to know the face of Gotham.” she said with a smile, wondering if Misty is already taking photos. „Last time we didn't have time to chat.”

„Last time you had some truly... Intimidating company.” he said with a nervous chuckle.

„You and Louise... You don't see eye to eye, do you?”

„We don't.” he admitted. „But it's an old thing. We don't have to like each other personally to appreciate our efforts in making Gotham better.”

She shot him another smile and the conversation – somehow – went on.

She didn't ask him about Oswald Cobblepot, his childhood friend who then beaten him to the pulp on live tv; it was a polite conversation about nothing and everything. She asked him about his butler. He asked her about her plans. She asked if he ever thought about running for mayor.

„Goodness, no!” he said, shaking his head and laughing. „Maybe I thought about it once or twice, but after what happened to our previous two mayors... I don't think it's a good idea. Penguin's still at large, after all.”

(Her neck suddenly itched in a place where Oswald once left her a bite mark she had to cover up with makeup.)

He doesn't sound like a bad person, she decided, watching him. He didn't sound like a bad person, and he wasn't to blame for what his father did – but she understood what Oswald felt.

(Something in Bruce Wayne reminded her of Harry Spencer.)

He eventually had to leave; but before doing so he asked if she can perhaps give him her phone number as he'd love to get to know her a little better, to chat away from prying eyes.

Smiling lightly and giving the prying eyes and viewfinders everything they wanted she wrote her number down on a paper napkin, turned around and returned to where her friends were sitting.

„Any good shots?” she asked visibly more sober Misty, who nodded.

„The gossip column will love me for what I'm about to send them. You don't mind them publishing your name, do you?”

„No, they can publish it, as long as they don't imply me and Wayne fucked.”

Louise's phone was buzzing constantly, informing her of a constant influx of new texts.

„Aren't you going to at least read them?” Charlie asked and Lou shook her head with indifference.

„Nah.”

Her own phone buzzed and she glanced at a screen; Oswald. Of course.

Busy?

kind of. fish says hi

Can I see you later?

She closed her eyes for a moment. Did he know? Was he the one running her background check? Was it all a part of his giant manipulative plan?

„Hooking up with our boy?” Esme asked, shooting her a devilish grin and her wife groaned.

„He's been acting really weird lately, you know.” Misty eventually said. „I think something's eating him.”

(Or maybe it was a lack of certain someone. Maybe it was simply the necessity of using a replacement that was eating him.)

„Maybe he's just tired of Peperoncino.” she said instead, texting him back, saying to meet her at her place in a few hours. „He's kind of... Caged there.”

„Well, for him it's either Peperoncino or Blackgate.” Louise said, finishing her drink. „And I'd choose Peperoncino as well. Nygma's ginger boyfriend has a Netflix subscription.”

Just as she was getting ready to leave, Harvey Bullock appeared by their booth.

„Charlie? A word?” he asked and he seemed and sounded incredibly tense; she wondered if maybe he was in charge of getting all the dirty details of her past.

„I'm sorry, Harvey, but I have a date.” she said, shaking her head with genuine remorse. „Can we talk tomorrow?”

„Yeah, I suppose it can wait a bit...” he sighed, scratching his head. „Wait. Did you say date?”

„Chill out, old man, it's just... Our friend.” Esme said mockingly, patting him lightly on the shoulder.

„That's true.” Charlie added, slipping her phone into her purse. „So don't worry. I promise I'll be home by ten.” she added with a smile; it was midnight.

Bullock scoffed, shook his head and left; turned around he really looked like her father.

Oswald was already there when she got home.

„Are you mad?!” she asked him, frantically looking for keys in her purse. „Someone will see you!”

„It's middle of the night and your nearest neigbour would have to use a spyglass to see anything in your garden.” he calmly pointed out, still leaning against her front door, his arms crossed. „I have an idea.”

„Yeah?”

„Give me a set of keys, so next time I won't have to wait outside.” he said with a grin and she fought off the urge to hit him with her purse.

„Step aside.” she said instead. „I found my keys.”

„Or maybe remind me to start carrying my lockpicks with me.” he went on as she opened the door, turned the lights on and stepped inside. „I love breaking and entering. I could visit you unexpected, you know.” he added, lowering his voice seductively. „How would you like this? A thief, not after your wallet, but after your sleep...”

„Are you done?” she asked, taking her heels off and wincing slightly at the sensation of cold wood under her feet.

„Oh I'm never done.” he assured her. „Also, you look beautiful tonight.”

„Flatterer.” she muttered, still turned around, hiding the sudden redness on her cheeks.

She went to the kitchen and he followed.

„Are you feeling better?” he asked, as she was pouring herself a glass of juice which he then took without even asking.

„I know, I know.” he said and winked. „The list. I remember.”

„I'm much better, thanks.” she asked, giving up. „Whatever you gave me actually helped.”

„See? Told you I'm competent.” he said with a smug grin. „How was your night?”

„Is this why you're here?” she asked, sitting on the table, as he leaned against her fridge. „You could've just called me.”

„Oh, but I told you already. Having you in person... Is much better.”

Months of work, almost... Almost gone. All because Cobblepot couldn't jerk off like a normal person.

(She saw pictures of Vicki Vale and she could see certain similarities between herself and the journalist turned tragic villain. The general softness of features, eye shapes, noses; it wasn't much, but it was there. And maybe it was just enough.)

When he came closer and leaned in to steal a kiss from her, she closed her eyes and gave in, deciding to give him what he needs – for once. She decided she's fine with being a replacement, a proxy, a substitute if it means being anything at all.

She did shed a tear or two that time – but he didn't notice, or maybe he didn't care. She let him do whatever he wanted, to not see her as herself; with his hand between his thighs and his lips on her breast she'd let him do anything.

(She didn't crack. She didn't tell him she loves him. She only pulled his hair and scratched his skin and kissed his jawline.)

She pretended to be falling asleep as he was dressing up and leaving, planting a goodbye kiss on her shoulder. Only after she heard the front door closing she finally let herself cry.

***

Next few days were relatively unpleasant.

She never found out what Harvey wanted to talk about the other night, at the Waterfront – first he wasn't picking up his phone, and then, when she finally got him, he said it's not important and that it resolved itself. He did a piss poor job at calming her down about that mysterious matter, but fine – his game, his rules.

Gotham Gazette gossip column did publish a – slightly blurry – photo of her writing down her number for Bruce Wayne. They namedropped her, and alluded she might soon be seen somewhere around the Wayne Manor; seemingly the person responsible for that one wasn't aware she's practically Bruce's neighbor.

(They talked about it over brunch once; a casual, absolutely non-committal thing; he laughed it off and said this is probably the eleventh time Gotham Gazette alone appointed some unfortunate young woman a future mrs Wayne. The way he said it made her think there probably already is someone he actually sees in this role – someone who doesn't want it.

Is Gotham filled with people looking for replacements for people they care about? Is this what this city is about? Replacements and sadness?)

Oswald probably had seen the tidbit as well – but he never mentioned it. In fact, their encounter after her night at the Waterfront was the last time she saw or heard him before everything went to hell and back.

After first few days of no contact, she decided maybe it's for the best – maybe he grew bored of her. Maybe he decided she's not worth the hassle.

For a short while, she considered following into his footsteps and finding herself a suitable replacement; but ultimately ended up abandoning the idea. She didn't feel like inviting anyone new into her life, into her bed, into her body; plus there was no one like Oswald Cobblepot, who seemed to instinctively know just how to play her body to make it sing the loveliest songs.

One morning Louise called her, to ask if she'd be up for getting some drinks with her and Fish. She agreed – it's not like she had any plans at all.

(She wondered how and when exactly Louise – a relatively well known attorney – became friends with Fish Mooney, a crook with some ties to mafia and obvious fondness for Gotham's most wanted criminal.)

They met at the Waterfront, which was flourishing, as Fish proudly announced, leading them to their table.

„People had missed this place, it turns out. Now they'd do anything to get in... Meaning it's probably time to invest in a slightly better bartender. Do you think Jacques would be up for this gig?”

„It seems like he'd rather die than abandon Peperoncino.” Charlie replied, sitting down. „And I don't think he can be in two places at the same time.”

„Oh, but maybe a change of surroundings would lift his spirits a bit.” Fish said jauntily. „He's perpetually in a bad mood, thanks to our mutual friend.”

Silence fell. Fish glanced on Louise, who avoided her eyes. Fish cleared her throat. Louise didn't react.

„What?” Charlie asked finally, feeling uneasy. „What?”

„For the record...” Louise muttered, nervously playing with her hair. „It was... Not my idea.”

„What?!” Charlie repeated her question. „What is going on?”

„We want to talk about you and Oswald.” Fish said finally, giving up on trying to get Louise to start the conversation.

„There is nothing to talk about.” Charlie protested faintly. „Really.”

„Is that so?” Fish asked, raising her eyebrows skeptically.

Her piercing gaze touched her skin and something in her cracked.

„Fine. I have feelings for him.” she admitted angrily.

„What feelings?” Fish asked, relentlessly pursuing the topic. „Feelings is an umbrella term. I have a lot of feelings for the Ventriloquist and none of them good. I also have a lot of feelings for detective Bullock – most of them good.”

„I think I love him.” she said slowly, her thoughts a racing mess. „Alright? I think I love him. He makes me want to stay. When I was visiting New York recently, I... I met someone who knew me damn well. Someone who encompassed all that I used to be. An embodiment of a second chance waiting for me in New York. And... I'm here. You know why.”

Fish and Louise remained silent, so she only sighed and went on.

„I know he's... Terrible. I know. I'm not blind. He's a murderer and a thief and a con-artist and god knows what else, but I think... We're just compatible. I feel safe around him. I feel like... Fuck, I don't know. But I know it's one sided.” she said with a forced, nonchalant shrug. Louise furrowed her brows.

„What?”

„It's one sided. I know it. I think... I think he's either after my money – I'm rich enough to get him away from Maroni and Peperoncino and buy him a new life – or uses me as a... Replacement. I think he and Vicki Vale... I think they had a thing.”

Fish Mooney turned her head and covered her mouth, visibly trying to hide laughter building up inside of her. Louise covered her face with her hands and sighed deeply.

„You dense motherfucker.” Louise said finally, her voice muffled by her skin. „Fish, where do I start?”

„Let's start with Vicki.” Fish replied, still avoiding looking at them, her shoulders trembling slightly.

„Vicki Vale is a lesbian.” Louise said finally, moving her hands away from her face and sternly staring at confused Charlie. „I would know. We used to date, before... Before all that bullshit happened. Vicki Vale is a stone cold lesbian and would never have anything going on with Oswald. Which brings us to-”

„Have you noticed how quiet he is recently?” Fish interrupted Louise, calm and collected once again. „No texts, no calls, dead silence... Have you noticed?”

„Of course I noticed.” Charlie said slowly. „I was sure he... Got bored. Had something better to do.”

„He tried to rob a bank.” Louise said shortly and Charlie's heart skipped a beat; hell, several beats. „We got to him before anyone noticed him, and we've been keeping an eye on him ever since.”

„What do you mean he tried to rob a bank?!”

„Well, he figured out he knows why you got so distant all of sudden and was determined to prove you that he's not like your dead husband.” Louise said quietly. „Of course he knew about Harry. He found out on accident and after everyone else – but he did. He knew for quite some time.”

„What are you trying to say?” Charlie asked, feeling like she's about to pass out.

„You really can't figure it out, can you?” Fish asked with genuine curiosity and Louise laughed quietly.

„God, she's so blind. I almost don't want to tell her.”

„Please stop fucking with me, I'm about to have a heart attack!”

„He's in love with you, you idiot!” Louise finally blurted out. „Ever since he met you in Peperoncino before the storm. Do you even remember?”

„Of course I remember.” she muttered, wondering if this is what heart attack feels like. „I was looking for someone and I somehow ended up there... And then he showed up.”

(She thought about their night together many times during following weeks. The way he asked her if she's alright, the way he looked at her, the way she almost felt bad for sneaking out in the morning.)

„He told me about it.” Louise continued. „Well, he did skip the spicy details, but what matters is that... You sneaked out of that bedroom with his heart in your pocket – but he only noticed it's missing when he found out you're back.”

„That's so fucking pretentious.” Fish muttered, looking to the side. „Are you quoting him right now?”

„Of course I am. Don't ruin the mood.”

„What do you mean he's in love with me?” Charlie finally asked, her brain playing the words on repeat. „What... What do you mean?”

„Charlie, can I ask you a question?” Louise asked in response and Charlie slowly nodded, still not fully comprehending what was going on.

„You were... Married. How the fuck did you not notice Oswald being in love?”

„I just assumed he's manipulating me!”

„This is the saddest thing I've heard this month.” Fish said, her face expressing pure joy.

„He's not manipulating you, you ginger idiot, for once in his life he was being honest!” Louise lashed out, waving her hands frantically. „You two truly are a match made in heaven, for fuck's sake.”

„Can I see him?” Charlie asked finally, wondering if this is all a very strange dream. „I think... I think I should talk to him.”

„We can deliver him straight to your doorstep to give you two some privacy.” Louise said, calming down again. „And for all I care, we can leave him there. I don't want to see or hear him ever again. He's been insufferable.”

Her insides were burning and she had troubles swallowing and breathing. She couldn't see straight; she was so shocked her body almost gave up on functioning.

And then she started crying. There was no sobbing – just tears streaming down her face.

„Oh come on!” Louise groaned, handing her tissues. „I know he's an obnoxious ass, but he's not so bad!”

„I'm sorry!” Charlie stammered in response, shaking her head. „I don't know what's going on!”

„Your emotions are finally letting go, that's what's going on.” Fish said calmly, putting her warm hand on Charlie's shoulder. „Cry all you want. I'll get you some water.”

Once she calmed down, Louise and Fish sent her home in a cab – and shortly after her driver took off, leaving her alone with her racing thoughts, rapidly beating heart and shaking hands Oswald showed up. Eddie Nygma dropped him off – he was the only person with a license who was free during the day and wouldn't arouse suspicions if spotted.

„Charlie?” Oswald Cobblepot asked hesitantly, entering her home, closing the door behind him and looking as beautiful as he did when they first met.

„I'm here!” she called out from the living room, where she was curled up on the couch. He noticed her and came closer, furrowing his brows angrily at the sight of her tear-stained face.

„Why were you crying?” he asked sharply. „Did something happen?”

„I talked with Fish and Louise.” she said, for the first time in weeks finally looking him in the eye. „Oswald...”

His anger at whoever potentially caused her tears disappeared without a trace and he smiled nonchalantly.

„Did they tell you about what I almost did?”

„They also told me why you almost did.”

„...fuck.” he muttered, suddenly looking unnerved again. „Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

„Tell me it's true.” she asked, her heart beating rapidly. „Please.”

„But I already told you.” he said after a brief pause. „Multiple times.”

„What do you mean?”

„I thought it's obvious. I thought you know and just don't care.”

Her mind suddenly filled itself with memories; of him asking her to be there when he wakes up, of him calling her love, of him saying something as she was falling asleep at Peperoncino, of him constantly giving her what she wanted and of his tense, anxious posture when she first met him after returning to Gotham.

„I'm an idiot.” she finally said. „An idiot. There is no other word to describe it.”

She covered her face with her hands and didn't budge as he slowly sat down next to her.

„Charlie.” he said softly. „Look at me.”

„No.” she muttered in response. „I'm never looking at anyone ever again.”

„Then uncover your face, at least.”

„I'm red!”

„And if I close my eyes?”

„...fine.” she sighed, giving up.

He was sitting with his eyes closed and a dumbfounded grin on his face.

She hesitantly planted a kiss on his cheek. He didn't react.

She planted another kiss near the corner of his mouth – and he opened his eye.

„You're red.” he stated. „I can barely see your freckles.”

„Help me calm down then.” she muttered, closing her eyes.

„Only if you'll say those magical words, love.”

„Pretty please?”

„As much as I love hearing you say that... That's not what I meant.”

This time they confessed using actual words, instead of half-truths and understatements. As he was helping her calm down – slowly and gently, so slowly and gently she almost forgot about blood on their hands – she kept gazing at him from under her lashes, following his movements.

He made her sing, like only he was able to. And this time it felt different – this time it felt honest, with no one's spirit between them. It seemed like finally they put their dead loved ones to rest, at least for some time; and as he was helping her calm down, as they were tangled together in her living room, as her forgotten phone was quietly buzzing under the couch Gotham just kept on living. Someone was receiving the best news of their life. Bruce Wayne was joking around with his butler. Harvey Dent was wondering if anyone even remembers him.

As they were caressing each other, the seemingly cursed city kept on living, blissfully unaware of an affair between a young socialite and a wanted criminals. They were together and they were in love and all was good in Gotham City and not a thing was out of place.

#ff #oc #eng #pinnguin

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