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#not being normal about these 4 boys at ALL
6ix9inewiturmom · 2 days
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Show And Tell- Matthew Sturniolo
Summary: When matt takes your virginity and shows you how to make yourself feel better about not being so experienced in the sex world
Warnings: Smut, Inexperienced!sub!reader, Experienced!Dom!Matt, praising, cursing, use of Y/N, Oral (fem receiving), P in V, Unprotected sex (Safe sex is great sex, cause you don’t want that late text that I think I'm late text- Lil Wayne), TW! brief talk of emotionally absent parents!
A/N: i absolutely love writing sweet Matt, but what i love writing more is MATT THE MF MUNCHHHH!!
psa: DONT STEAL MY WORK!! THIS BELONGS TO ME MYSELF AND I!
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Ever since Middle school Nick, Matt, Chris, and I have been inevitable. Their mother, Mary Lou, has always taken me in as her own, considering I was the youngest out of 5 in my family, and my parents had me later in life, as soon as I learned how to care for myself, they quit raising me and only came through in times they ‘needed’ to be parents. Mary Lou was the woman I called my mother. whenever they went on a family vacation I always went with them. To the mall? I went. She basically had Quadruplets. When the triplets moved to LA, we were all over 18, and I was more than ready to leave my parent's house even though I had pretty much moved in with them for how much I stayed over, so I moved with them. I offered to get an apartment close by, but all of them collectively agreed and even argued with me about it, so now we all live in the same house.
Today was pretty much a normal day in the house, very calm, no one was filming, and we just did our own things. Matt and I had no plans, Chris went out shopping with some friends, and Nick had meetings and then dinner plans with Tara for a collab idea which left Matt and I at the house.
“Cant believe that you and my mother BOTH collectively agreed to let me walk out of the house looking like that” Matt said laughing showing me a memory that popped up on his moms Facebook page.
“To be fair you were dead set on wearing that entire outfit and your mom and I both knew we couldn't talk you out of that” I said laughing back and throwing my hands up in defense.
“That's when I dated Cassie too, how gross,” he said giving himself the Ick.
“She was the town whore, what'd you expect,” I say giggling at my comment.
“You know I never asked, whatever happened to Jackson? I just recalled he spread some rumor about him taking your virginity, and a bunch of other stuff, and you came to the house crying and Mom was comforting you and you never spoke about that again” he looks over at me as my head hung low looking at my hands.
Jackson was a guy I ‘dated’ junior year of high school, he took me on one date, it was very nice and he seemed amazing, though I should've listened to Nick when he told me Jackson was no good. After our date instead of taking me home he insisted on talking more and drove to the park in the middle of the city. His intentions were not pure. Jackson tried every which way to get me in the backseat, I rejected many many times that night and made some excuse on how I was on my period and that immediately grossed him out. Come to find out, as soon as we got back to school he spread a rumor around the entire school that he had taken my virginity and told the school I was into weird kinks. I knew I couldn't go to my mother about that because she would have taken me directly to the health clinic to ‘check if I was still pure’ so I went to Mary Lou, i and made sure to tell her to tell the boys not to bring it up to me and try their best to shut it down.
“I uh thought i told you about what happened?” i lied and nervously laughed.
“Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’ “I'm pretty sure I would have remembered something that important to where my own mother had to come to me, Nick, and Chris, and tell us not to talk to you about it, plus I mean it's been 4 years if you don't wanna talk about it I understand,” he said reassuring me.
I've always felt comfortable with all 3 of them, and always had a special relationship with all of them, and trust them with my life. I never went to them about this because I was embarrassed I was a virgin, I wasn't gonna tell them I didn't lose my virginity, considering both Matt and Chris came to me about sex advice I didn't want them to look at me any different for not being experienced enough so I lied and told them that Jackson did take my virginity but I wasn't into the weirder stuff Jackson accused me of.
“Fuck” I mutter under my breath. “Okay so, I just wanna say one thing before I tell you what actually happened between Jackson and me” I look back at him with nerve piercing through my body.
“Y/N, you know you can tell me anything” Matt adjusts himself to face me.
“So don't judge me,” I start taking a deep breath. “So Jackson made up that entire rumor,” I take my bottom lip between my teeth.
“I’m extremely confused” he scratched the back of his head laughing.
“God this is embarrassing” I place my head in my hands “fuck it, so he didn't take my virginity at all, and obviously the kink thing was a lie” I look up at him who still has a puzzled look on his face.
“So if Jackson didn't take your virginity then who did? Cause you basically swore off dating after him” he raises his eye brows in confusion.
“No one, Matt, I'm a uh Virgin” I drop my head down in embarrassment fiddling with my fingers.
“No fucking way, you gave both Chris and me AMAZING sex advice, stop fucking with me Y/N/N” he said laughing.
“Matt I'm being for real,” I shoot him an awkward smile “and please the sex advice ain't nothing, I know what I would like so I kinda made an assumption and by the looks of it, I'm guessing it worked” I nervously laughed.
“Holy shit,” his eyes go wide “why haven't you, you know?”
“It's hard for me to trust people, especially with something like that,” I shrugged my shoulders “When I hit puberty, my mother gave me a ‘save yourself till marriage’ talk instead of informing me of my body she scared me from sex, but I had gone to your mom one day when you three were hanging with Nate and she actually gave me that kinda talk and more or less told me to always make sure I felt safe and in the hands of someone I trust, and Jackson did neither of those things” I continue to fiddle with my fingers.
“You trust me right?” he says curiously
“Matt don't be stupid, yes I do” I lightly giggle. “Why is that even a question?”
“ah fuck it, never mind” he brushes it off.
“No, no, I told you something that no one knows so come on speak up,” I lightly push his arm.
“I was gonna say I could teach you a couple things about sex but i ain't too sure you'd be down for that anyway” he shrugged his shoulders turning his body back towards the TV.
“What if I was down?” I look at him through my lashes.
His head jerks in my direction, “actually?” his eyes light up.
“Matt do you know how embarrassing it is to be an almost 21-year-old who's never had sex,” a soft giggle escaped my lips.
“Have you ever like, touched yourself before?” he said slightly cringing at his words.
I was a little taken aback by his curiosity “I mean yeah, once or twice” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Did you like ever finish from that?” he shifts his body back in my direction. “I know this sounds a bit invasive but I promise if you want to do this I have a reason for asking these questions” he placed his hand on my knee.
“No… it just um” I swallow the lump in my throat “I just couldn't..”
“So you've never experienced anything sexual?” the curiosity in his voice makes me feel safer and know he's not judging me and is actually caring enough to ask and not just crawling on top of me and getting down to it.
“Nope,” I say softly
He slowly nods “Do you want to learn?” his voice goes soft.
“H-how?” I stutter out.
“Obviously if you feel comfortable enough with it, I could be the one to show you, If you catch my drift” he sends me a reassuring smile.
“Y-you would take my virginity?” I ask nervously.
“Only if you want me to” his voice trails off
“What about Nick and Chris? God that would be awkward if they walked in or something, oh my god I don't want them to think any-” he cuts me off
“Woah slow down, it's okay, they won't be back till like 9, and it's 4 now, we'll be okay kid” he laughed rubbing soft circles with his thumb over my knee. “Do you want to do this?”
I nod softly. “No this is important to you, I want your verbal consent that this is okay” he moves closer to me.
“Yes, please, I want this, all of this,” I say softly adjusting my body closer to his.
He smiles leaning closer to my face and softly pressing his lips against mine. My eyes fall shut and I turn into jello as I feel the way his hand that was once on my knee moves up toward my hip. A small smile creeps upon both of our lips. I softly pull away.
“Can we not do this on the couch?” I say laughing a little
“Absolutely,” he stands up almost immediately and picks me up bridal style walking into his room and kicking the door open as I giggle like a kid in a candy store.
He carefully sets me down on his blue silk sheets crawls on top of me and presses his lips onto mine once again making a soft groan travel between our lips.
“Can I take this off?” he says softly playing with the hem of my shirt.
“Yes” I bite my bottom lip
He smiles down at me and pulls my shirt off leaving me in my bra. He hooks his finger under my bra strap rubbing his finger up and down just looking down at me. “You're so beautiful. I don't ever tell you much” his comment makes a soft pink shade appear on my cheeks.
He leans down again kissing me and pointing his tongue out for permission to enter, my mouth opens slightly as his tongue explores my mouth, and this time his hands start to grab at my covered breast. “You can take it off, Matt” I giggle between kisses.
He gave me no response but his left hand held my lower back and his right unclasped my bra letting it fall right off my shoulders. He pulled away from kissing me and looked down at my breast in awe. “God you're Fucking beautiful” he mutters.
His mouth begins leaving kisses down from my jawline to my collarbone and stopping at my breast looking up at me through his lashes almost asking for permission without asking. I shoot him a smile and nod and his tongue licks softly across my nipple sending shivers down my spine. He smirks to himself attaching his mouth to one of my nipples and slightly tugging at my other. He sucks and nips at my nipples taking them between his teeth every now and again. My breathing gets heavier at the sensitivity and my head falls back as a soft whimper falls from my mouth.
He lifts his head up and places himself between my legs to unbuckle my shorts, shimmy them down my legs, and throws them with the pile of clothes next to the bed. He admires my choice of underwear today, smirking as they're unironically his favorite color, purple, with a tiny little bow right up top. He hooks his finger at the top of them sliding back and forth before sliding them down my legs leaving me bare beneath him.
“such a pretty fucking pussy” he groans out. he leans his head down and spits down onto my aching pussy. using his thumb he slowly moves up and down.
“Holy fuck” I gasp out.
Matt chuckles and moves his body down where his head is now between my legs. His thumb is still slowly going up and down he begins kissing down my thighs on both sides. “I want you” he places another kiss on my thigh “to tell me” Another kiss “What feels good to you alright?” he places a kiss right above my clit.
“O-okay” I say nervously
“And please don't be afraid to tell me to stop” he gives me a reassuring smile.
I nod sending him the same warm smile. He starts to place a soft kiss on my clit before flattening his tongue on my pussy and licking a stripe up and groaning once the taste of me hits his tongue.
“Oh, Matt” My breathing hitches and I throw my head back in pleasure.
His tongue begins to flick up at a faster pace making moans spill out of my mouth, his eyes are fixated on me and how my body reacts to his mouth pleasuring me.
“Fuck you're so fucking good at this” My fingers run through his hair forcing his head deeper into me.
He moans into me sending vibrations through my body as my hips jerk up and my eyes roll back. His lips attach to my clit sucking on it a little causing a squeal to fall from my mouth.
“Fuck i-i I think I'm gonna cum” I stutter out as an unfamiliar knot forms in the pit of my stomach
“Mhm” he mutters before lifting his head “Let it go sweet girl” he lowers his head again taking my clit between his teeth and flicking upwards on it.
“Oh my FUCK” I scream out when that knot snapped a wave of euphoria pierced my body and my orgasm dripped out of me making Matt move his body to watch it happen.
He wiped his mouth using his arm smiling “you okay baby?” he chuckled.
“Fuck” I breathe out “If that's why people are sex addicts I see why god damn that was amazing” I smiled up at him.
“I'm not even done yet” he smirks lifting his shirt over his head and throwing it across the room.
“Are you 100% positive you want this?” he asks as he stands up removing his belt.
“This is the first decision I've ever made that I'm 100% positive I won't regret,” I say as I watch him remove his pants and free his cock with his tip red and throbbing for attention.
He climbs back and moves me farther up on the bed. “Fuck there's no way that's gonna fit in me, that's fucking massive,” I say as my eyes stare at his cock.
“It'll fit baby” he chuckles “shit I don't have a condom,” he says rummaging through his bedside table.
“I'm on birth control, you don't need one” I smile up at him.
“Are you sure?” he smirks.
“Yes Matt,” I smile batting my lashes up at him.
“Okay then” he brings his hand up to his mouth and spits in it before gliding his now wet hand to coat his aching cock. “I gonna go slow, inch by inch and you tell me when to move, and tell me if it hurts too much I'll stop immediately,” he says aligning his cock with my entrance.
“Okay,” I breathe out.
As his tip slowly enters me I hiss. “Are you okay?” he says with a concerned look on his face.
“I'm okay just hurts” I reply biting my lower lip.
He slowly enters another couple of inches. Watching how my face nuzzled up at the new feeling. Then he slides in another few inches. After a couple of minutes, he's fully bottomed out. “Look at that, you're doing so fucking amazing,” he says adjusting himself closer to my face and brushing loose strands out of my face.
“Y-you can move,” I say nodding slowly.
He smiles before slowly thrusting out and moving towards my hips as the pain I once felt turns into pleasure in a matter of seconds.
“Oh, matt fuck faster please” I plead gripping his biceps for support.
“God you're so fucking tight” his pace speeds up as he lowers his body and begins kissing my neck and groaning into me.
“S-so fucking big” I moan out.
He rolls his hips towards mine and slams them into me. His grunts become harsher. “Fuck” he growled in my ear. “I love the way you feel wrapped around me” he moans in my ear which is almost a whimper.
“Matt” I scream out as his cock finally and repeatedly kisses my G-spot.
“Someone close eh?” he lifts up sadistically grinning at me.
I nod vigorously as my legs begin twitching and shaking around his waist and that knot forms in my stomach for the second time tonight.
“Cum all over my fucking dick baby, I know you can do it,” he said as his thrusts become sloppy.
With just his words that knot snapped in my stomach and formed a white ring around the base of his cock as my cum coats his cock. With a couple more thrusts he nuzzles his head in my neck and paints my walls a shade of white. He slowly pulls out careful not to hurt me.
“Fuck you're amazing” I breath out coming down from my euphoric state.
“Yeah? You did fucking amazing,” he smiles down at me laying next to me and pulling me into a cuddled skin-to-skin hug.
“Thank you matt” I mutter into his chest.
“No problem sweetheart” he kissed the top of my head. “You know I'd do anything for you” he softly whispers making me smile and nuzzle into him more.
“Do you want me to run you a nice bath? Or you wanna go get food? What do you wanna do, cause we got about 2 hours till Nick and Chris come home” he pulls away looking at me.
“We can shower and I can cook for us” I smile at him.
“Perfect” he smiles at me and picks me up bridal style again to carry me to the bathroom.
The way he cared for me, I knew I made the right decision. Losing my virginity to the man I knew I could trust.
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A/N pt 2: TY TO THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS!! BECAUSE THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE!! anyways i hope you guys are having an amazing evening, afternoon, morning, or night!! and i love you guys!! 🩷🩷
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and-so-he-rambled · 15 hours
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Gotham Rogue Vlad Masters Part three - The Library
Master list | Part 1 | Part 4
The sun didn’t really shine in Gotham, but the kids soaked up the meager bit peeking through the clouds. Vlad had a child on each side, hands held tightly as they walked. Vlad had memorized the maps as much as he could, having never found the place he was looking for on foot before. It was much easier to fly, but the kids needed the exercise and the practice to blend in.
Jazz was doing wonderfully, expression guarded and dangerous. He’d insisted she left the thievery to him, but he watched her slide a wallet into her pocket after brushing against a passing stranger. It made a twisted part of him proud.
Daniel on the other hard was doing terribly, unable to hide his joy and waving at everyone they passed by. He stood out, tugging on Vlad’s hand and trying to run off at every pigeon and rat he saw scurrying by. Vlad tried to squeeze his hand in warning, but Daniel just squeezed it back and let out a happy chirp. His breath was coming out misty even in the mild weather, making Vlad second guess himself on bringing him out. Daniel was still developing and had lots of ghost mishaps, but he was getting fed up with being cooped up all the time. Vlad had a feeling that if he didn’t bring Daniel outside already he would have just phased through the wall and gone on his own adventure.
The finally reached the library, a grand and towering old building. He held the kids hands tightly as they walked inside, bypassing the help desk and trying to seem like they belonged there. He mapped out the exits and cameras sparsely places along the ceilings. There would definitely be eyes on the computer area, but shouldn’t be as many in the children’s section. He hated the kids being on camera at all, but with Daniel’s thick winter hat and a scarf covering Jas’s lower face he hoped they would be safe. He knew the picture around Danny and Jazz would likely be fuzzy since they didn’t know how to repress their abilities like he did. Hopefully no one would look close enough to notice. He concentrated his aura around his face to keep his blurry as well, but just a little.
He squatted down to eye level with the kids once they were mostly out of view.
“Jazz, watch Daniel.” He hated to put all the responsibility on her shoulders, but they both knew the boy would run off. “Get a book for yourself too, we can sneak out a few when he leave. We’ll bring them back once we read them.” He assured Danny with the last part, ruffling the kid’s hair.
“Can I read about the stars?” Danny asked with wide eyes, green swirling in blue.
“Sure thing, Daniel.”
“Danny!” The raven haired boy stomped his foot, pouting something fierce. He was rather insistent on the nickname. Vlad preferred Daniel, but he would relent to let the child have some normality in his life with all the big changes.
“Ah, yes. Danny.” He sent the two off, trusting Jazz to keep them both safe as he found the computers.
The more he learned about Gotham the stranger it became. He knew crime ran rampant in the city, but this was beyond what he’d imagined. He could use this to his advantage.
He still had less than reputable contacts from when he’d just started committing crimes to start up his own company, and it’s wouldn’t be hard to get back into old habits. He would need to keep Plasmius a secret though, too noticeable as a ghost. He couldn’t rock the GIW sniffing around, so he had to do this the old fashioned way. He’s still use his powers of course, but subtly. It wasn’t as if metas didn’t exist, even if the bat didn’t want them in his city.
He was researching the art scene of Gotham when his pocket buzzed, the rudimentary device in his pocket getting an sos from Jazz.
He stood, trying to keep himself from panicking as he searched for his charges. He could feel them in the building still, his core latching on to the echo of Daniel’s core and Jazz’s ectoplasm.
He rounded a corner, shoulders sagging in relief once he saw both kids unharmed. They were in what seemed to be the children’s reading nook, with cartoon animals painted on the walls and beanbags instead of chairs.
Daniel was in a lady’s lap, a book open as he pointed and explained what stars were to her. The woman was in a wheelchair, eyebrows raised a confused smile on her face. She was a redhead, a much fiercer red than Maddie and Jazz’s orange.
“Dad!” Jazz yelled loudly as he approached, making his core burn hot in his chest. He managed to keep his stride unbroken, hiding his flinch with a smile.
“Jasmine! Find anything good to read?” He greeted her cheerily, letting her grab his hand. She squeezed out an sos, smile strained. Her eyes were pure ice as she stared down the lady holding her brother, not an ounce of trust.
“Not much, Danny was just telling Ms. Barbara all about space.” Jazz’s eyes were pleading as they turned to him, palm sweaty and shaking against his.
“I’m so sorry about him.” Vlad apologized, slipping into fake cheer like a second skin. The galas he’d attended when his company was starting out had been full of people he had to lie to. It had been a big change from being a college geek with no social life, but Vlad Masters did nothing if not persist.
He plucked the boy from the lady’s lap, holding him tight as Danny whined and squirmed, bony limbs flailing.
“Vlaaaaad.” Danny whined, chirping angrily as Vlad stiffened. He was glad humans couldn’t hear ghost speak.
Jazz laughed awkwardly, elbowing Danny’s dangling leg.
“That speech impediment of yours, still can’t pronounce dad.” Her lie wasn’t as smooth as his, smile tight and a tad too sharp.
“Was just telling ‘er about stars and planets. I can’t read the words yet so I needed help.”
“Why couldn’t you ask your sister?”
Danny shook his head, black mop of hair falling in his eyes.
“She was reading her own book.”
Jazz looked at the floor in shame. A book way thicker than most six year olds could read was on the beanbag.
“I see. Well, say goodbye to the nice lady.” He gave Barbara a fake smile, tugging Jazz’s hand.
Ms. Barbara looked confused, holding up the book on stars Daniel had been showing her.
“Your books, would you like me to help you check them out?” She held out the big book of space Danny had been showing her, the boy beginning to squirm and reach for it. She wasn’t aware that they didn’t exist yet, and thus couldn’t check out books.
“We’ll come back another day!” He assured her, already walking out with the kids. Daniel was whining something fierce and Jazz looked miserable, not the outing he wanted.
He ducked into an alley and flew them back to the home base. They needed the exercise but Daniel was struggling he didn’t want to eyes on them, so flying back was easier.
Danny was crying, shaking as he tried to hold in a tantrum.
Jazz hadn’t met his eyes since they left the library.
“Jazz, dear. You alerted me in time. He didn’t say anything that could give us away, did he?” Vlad was pretty sure that, if it came to it to protect the kids, he would kill a bystander.
Jazz shook her head, teary blue eyes meeting his.
“No, just talked about space. I didn’t hear her until Danny was already in her lap! What if she took him! Stupid! Stupid!” The redhead slammed her fists against her head, chest heaving as tears escaped her tightly shut eyes and cascaded down her red cheeks.
Vlad grabbed her wrists, holding them still as she squirmed and fought him before collapsing into his arms in a fit of tears. He hadn’t seen her cry since her parents deaths, always only hearing it faintly at night.
Jazz sobbed in his arms, her tears spurning Danny to start sobbing as well. Vlad ached down to the core, gathering both kids in his arms and kneeling on the floor with them until his legs were numb. He felt his own eyes traitorously burn, perhaps from the sadness of his fraid effecting him, or just stress creeping up. He forced it away with hard blinks, he didn’t have time for that.
He really had no idea what he was doing, but he had to keep doing it because this was the only way to keep the kids safe. They couldn’t have normal lives, he had to remember that. They were monsters to the government, the kids wouldn’t be safe in the system with a good family, there were stuck with him.
They cried themselves out, both sagged against him and dozing with the occasional hiccup. It was easy to carry them both to bed, almost natural. He wondered if, in another life, he could have had a family of his own. It was for the best he hadn’t thought, that he’d been able to let go of his life to keep the kids safe. He barely found himself missing the castle he’d loved so much, so focused on the fact they were alive, mostly. He’d grieve it more later, the place in the world he’d made his own after years of hospitals and clawing his way up in life, but for now it was enough to be safe.
He tucked the kids in to the king bed they’d claimed, body aching in new ways as he dragged a chair over. He could keep a double for a while, but he didn’t trust a double to stand watch, so he prepared himself for another long night. He knew he needed sleep desperately, but he couldn’t risk it. Instead he sent a copy to the library to steal the books the kids had been reading along with a few books for himself.
He managed to read through a book on parenting traumatized children by light of ecto blast before the sun rose, hiding it in the wall with the other books he’d chosen so Jazz wouldn’t read them and try to be more grown up than she had to be. She’d taken on a parental role with Danny and he was forced to let her even though every book he read said it was bad for her development. He wanted her to be a kid, but he needed her help to keep Danny safe and out of trouble.
He was going to have to start stealing again soon, and that meant Jazz would have to step up even more to watch Danny while he was gone. He could go at night while they slept, but then they would be unguarded. It was quite the dilemma. But still, Vlad Masters persists. He’d once been a lab rat building new equipment on a diet of energy drinks and ramen, he could manage to make a security system to keep two kids safe.
He made a plan to go dump hunting, he could maybe bring the kids along if he scouted it out first. He would steal a proper laptop and fancy tech once he was better prepared, but they would make do with scraps right now.
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danieyells · 17 hours
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care to spoil any interesting dialogue Haku has when you reach higher affinity levels? Would love to know!
Haku's so. . .normal, it's kinda cute? Lol. But yeah I'm pretty down for that! I wanted to share one of these things but held my tongue lolol but since you're asking here're some of the ones that were more interesting or otherwise appealing to me!
Affinity 4:
"...Hate to be the one to tell you this, but there's something untoward lingering behind you. Don't look!
Hah, I was just kidding. It was just a little dust, see?"
Affinity 10:
"Your parents ever tell you ghosts would get you if you don't go to bed?
For some reason Zenji's the only one who gets spooked when I say that..."
Affinity 11:
"All these geniuses and their lectures are giving me heartburn.
Wouldn't mind hearing the woes of someone long-suffering instead every once in a while."
(this sounds cruel but from what i can tell in Japanese he says he'd rather hear stories about hard workers/people who struggled from the bottom than prodigies. Basically he's more interested in, y'know, ordinary folks than people who're really special.)
Affinity 12:
"That video I took of Zenji today?
I'm just going to do some quick editing and post it. I don't know why he doesn't just focus on content that's more his style..."
Affinity 17:
"Getting cold feet when you try to jump into the deep end is just proof you're a normal human being. We're the crazy ones."
Affinity 19:
"Just having someone you care about at your side is all you really need...
Ha ha. That was a little out of character, huh? My bad."
Affinity 22:
"None of us wanted to become like this. Living an ordinary life, and dying an ordinary death—
why go after more than that?"
He just wants to be normal. And he can't. It's kinda tragic lol
Affinity 24:
"Being cursed really sucks, huh? You can't help but ask yourself, "Why me?" all the time, even when you know it's a question with no answer."
And my favorite line, at 25(max) affinity:
"I know I'm being selfish—
but sometimes, I wish you'd just forget about me..."
WHY. . .ARE YOU THE SUS ONE AND YOU FEEL BAD THAT YOU'LL BETRAY THEM? DO YOU JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE TOO LUCKY HAVING HAD FALLEN FOR SOMEONE NORMAL WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT NORMAL ANYMORE? DO YOU FEEL LIKE THE PC DESERVES SOMEONE NORMAL AND TO BE ABLE TO GO BACK TO A NORMAL LIFE BUT BEING WITH YOU GUARANTEES THEY WON'T? WHY DO YOU WANT THEM TO FORGET YOU. . .he's so interesting to me simply because of how much he tries to keep himself apart from his being a ghoul(and, y'know, seeing spirits and shit--) so he can try and just be any other guy. . .and he can't lol his surroundings, who and what he is, he can't go back to being normal! It's a charming way to have a boy next door sort of personality i think lol
And since there are other interesting voicelines. . . . . . .
Seasons and holidays aren't affinity locked, so you can see these when they're available(although i didn't label which time they're available at, just the season lol.)
Spring(March-May):
"I've been noticing more birds in the garden lately. Is that a bush warbler? A white-eye, maybe? A lot going on during spring in Hotarubi."
Boy knows his birbs.
"Must be nice being a ghost—no hayfever, and no hangovers. Spring really is the embodiment of human weakness."
How drunk did you get last night buddy. . . .
"My family home is pretty famous in our area for its cherry blossoms... When I was a kid, my friends and I used to go exploring through them at night."
Summer(starts June, ends August):
"It's so humid... Days like this make me miss Frostheim..."
He's former Frostheim! He does have a voice line that mentions not having spoken to Tohma recently too, but that he seems busy as usual.
"You're not going to wear a yukata?
Eh, I just thought it'd be cute to see. That's the kind of thing guys think about, don't know what else to tell you."
It reads like he's a little disappointed the girl he's into friends with isn't gonna wear something he thinks is cute lol (i'd see if he sounds disappointed in the audio but since i don't have haku's sr the game didn't download the audio for me lol)
Autumn(September-November):
"They say fall is the season of the arts, but I'm a really mediocre flute player. I'm about as uncultured as you can get."
Winter(December-February):
"You'll catch a cold dressed like that. It's already pretty chilly out there, you know...
Here, take my coat."
"Winter rain really chills you to the bone. Sorry, walking through the garden must be rough for you this time of year. Come a little closer."
I'm a bit of a sucker for huddling together in the cold lol
"It's cold again today. Now that I think of it, Subaru said he wanted to make hotpot with everyone. Guess I'll go grab some things and make it happen."
"Your hands hurt because of the cold? Let me see.
Oh yeah, your fingertips are all red. Here, stick them in my pockets."
Is that your flute in your pocket or are you completely unaffected by the cold
Halloween:
"Looks like you've had your fair share of tricks today.
I'll narrow down your options and just make it a treat, then."
Christmas:
"You look like you're having fun. Do you have a present for me, Little Miss Santa?
Haha, I'm just kidding. Here you go. Merry Christmas."
When you haven't logged in for at least a day, between the hours of 5am and 3pm(? I've gotten these messages with Taiga after being away for like two hours so i may be misunderstanding the condition):
"Hey there, stranger. Everyone's missed you, you know.
...Even I was starting to get a little worried."
Those're the ones that're most interesting to me I think! 'u' there are some that aren't up there though, like some of the ones that show him being responsible and worrying about his teammates haha. Hope you don't mind my little commentary here and there!
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can you please do prompt 2 and 4 with johnny cade?
Outsiders Prompt Fic #5- Why does it hurt so much?
Hi anon! I chose prompt 2 to write for this one. Enjoy!
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Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain.
When he was three mama had dropped him taking him out of the bath and he’d hit his head bad enough to give him a concussion. When he was six dad had broken his arm after he lost a little league game and cried about it. He’d survived more beatings than most kids could even dream of- even most east side kids. He’d been sworn at, screamed at, kicked, punched, slapped, and on one particularly memorable occasion when he was fourteen, walloped with a two by four when his old man had been laid off from his job at the lumberyard. He’d even been jumped, bad enough that that horrible white scar tore down his face would be a permanent fixture he was still trying to come to terms with. Over the years he’d come to learn how to grin and bear it. He took every beating in silence, because crying or begging or even screaming only ever made them worse. He’d laughed with broken ribs. Smiled through a puffy lip. Leaned against his friends even when it pressed against his bruises, until pain became first a constant and then an afterthought, simply another fact of his miserable life. You spend enough time in pain, he’d come to realize, then being in pain just becomes normal. 
Which is why it’s strange that the stomach flu of all things seems to be able to bring him to his knees- literally. He’s currently puking in the Curtis’ bathroom, unsure if the vomiting or the agony radiating from his stomach is what’s forcing tears from his eyes.
God, his stomach hurts. He can’t remember anything ever hurting this much. Not even that time mama pressed his palm against the stove when he was eight and accidentally spilled the dinner she made.
“Easy Johnny, you’re alright,” Pony is here, the quiet, supportive pillar he’s always been that makes him Johnny’s best friend in the whole world. Though a part of him is embarrassed that anyone is here to witness this, a much larger part of him, the part that is tired, sick and in pain, is infinitely glad that Ponyboy is here. Pony won’t judge him, never has, never will. Pony will take care of him, the way he has for the past three days, and not make him feel like a baby. Everyone else, whenever they’re around, has hovered and coddled. Pony is just present, his worry quieter, his care soft with love but not pity.
Even Dallas had been weird about this, the whole Johnny being sick thing. He’d acted like a spooked horse when he first got sick and not reappeared after he first came by to check on him two days ago. Maybe if Johnny wasn’t feeling so lousy, he’d care more about that, try and puzzle out why. As it is, it’s all he can do to make sure he makes it to the toilet every time he needs to puke.
It’s a strange illness, one Johnny is quite sure he never wants to experience again. Crashing waves of nausea and pain for hours, followed by brief reprieves where he believes he’s started to turn a corner before the nausea returns full force. It’s a vicious cycle. Johnny hates it.
He’s so tired. 
“It’s just the stomach flu,” he murmurs to Pony, slumping bonelessly against his friend’s side. The younger boy presses a glass of water into his hand, and Johnny lifts it to his lips, his hand shaking like a leaf, “why does it hurt so much?’
“That’s just the thing ain’t it Johnnycakes? I’m startin’ to think it isn’t just the stomach flu.”
Pony’s getting real worried now, Johnny can tell because his voice always gets a bit younger when he’s anxious and he starts immediately looking around for Darry. But Darry isn’t here right now, is at work for at least the next hour. Soda and Steve are both working close at the DX, Two-bit is nursing his own sick kid sister, and Dally is still wherever Dally is. If the chips turn down- and they will, because Johnny knows he must have been born under a bad star for all the times luck is never in his favour- Pony is all he’s got. The thought isn’t as daunting as perhaps it should be. Here he is, sick and not entirely conscious, and all he knows is he trusts Ponyboy Curtis with his life. For all Ponyboy is two years younger, for all he’s the baby of the gang, Johnny doesn’t know anyone he depends on as much as him.
“Probably not,” he admits. This isn’t right, he knows it, has known it since yesterday even. The stomach flu shouldn’t feel like there’s a hot iron stuck in his abdomen, shouldn’t make him half paralyzed with pain and unable to think properly. “Whatever it is, I think it might be bad.”
“Darry’ll be home in a hour,” Pony says decisively, and if Johnny wasn’t so sick he doesn’t think he’d be able to hide his grin at the fact that for all Pony complains about his eldest brother, he’s always the first person he goes to in a crisis, “I’ll give him a call, see if he can hurry along, and we’ll get him to take you to a clinic.”
“Don’t got insurance,” Johnny points out. If he went to the doctor, it wouldn’t matter if this illness didn’t kill him because his old man sure would, “can’t afford no hospital bills.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Ponyboy waves his concern off, “Darry got Dal to get you a fake insurance card. It’s a real good forgery, looks as good as my real one. Far as the state’s concerned, you’re me when you’re sick.
“I ain’t passin’ those hospital bills to you guys!”
“Well we ain’t takin’ no for an answer. If you need a hospital, you’ll go.”
Johnny can tell he means it. He also knows Darry and Soda will back him. All the Curtis boys are as stubborn as they come, and selfless to boot.
He sighs, too tired to argue.
“Alright.”
“I’ll go give Darry a call,” Pony says, squeezing his shoulder gently before he leaves. 
Johnny counts the tiles on the bathroom floor as a fresh wave of agony rears it’s ugly head, causing sweat to bead on his brow and harsh breaths to force their way through his clenched teeth.
He’s only managed to count thirteen tiles by the time Ponyboy returns with a cool cloth and a relieved expression.
“Darry’ll be here in twenty minutes,” Pony tells him, pressing the cloth against his burning neck. He can’t help but sigh at the feeling. It does nothing to dull the pain but offer something else to focus on, but for Johnny that’s enough, “he was almost done anyway but his forman let him go early since it’s an emergency.”
He bites his lip, and Johnny can tell he’s trying very hard to decide whether he’s going to say whatever it is he’s thinking.
“Dar…darry says he thinks you might have appendicitis,” he says at last. Huh,Johnny thinks, that kind of makes sense. With his luck, it’s not surprising his own organs have decided to mutiny against him. “He says he was worried about it yesterday but now he’s pretty sure. You’ll definitely need the hospital.”
At this point, if a hospital can make the pain even lessen, it’ll be worth it.
“Thanks Pony,” he leans his head against his best friend’s shoulder, too tired and too sick to do anything else.
Pony rests his own head on Johnny’s, long hair tickling Johnny’s cheek, until Darry bursts in in all his superman glory and takes control of the situation the way he always does.
Johnny Cade is no stranger to pain, but with a friend like Ponyboy Curtis to help him through it he doesn’t really mind.
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Surprise Guest
Author's note: More mermay, some world building with Poor Unfortunate Souls AU, and a dash of Space Marines Sentient Husbandry. Oh boy, I wrote a little over 1K words for this one.
Summary: Hura finds a stranger in his den, it's a wounded Loyalist Scout, so he calls for back up, as well as teases some of his younger cousins, because he finds them Hilarious.
Warnings: Mentions of injuries, light bullying? Or is it intimidation. Hura's being a bit of a lil' shit head. Let me know if I need to add more.
Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @egrets-not-regrets, @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @kit-williams
Tagged again, just in case: @kit-williams, @whorety-k
Catius Past
Hura Past
Hura had finished with some tasks he’d been meaning to do, helped out some of his fellow Chaos Mer-Astartes, he’s swimming back to his underwater cave system, when he smells something off about the waters immediately around and inside is caves. He huffs, as he readies himself, whether for a fight, or to scare whoever it is thought they could so foolishly take over his cave. He pauses as he swims deeper into his cave system when he smells the scent of blood. Astartes blood.
Ah- perhaps someone had tried to come to his cave seeking treatment… Unusually bold, or more likely desperate. He retracts his claws and spines mostly as he shifts his gear, wondering who his newest patient is going to be. And if they had friends with them. What he comes across gives him pause. By the coloration, that deep, vivid blue and spots, that eel-like tale that flows like a long ribbon in the wind, this is an Ultramarine, or one of their successor chapters, before their scales shed and into their pod’s hues.
As Hura carefully approaches the other mer-astartes, he notices, he’s large for a normal Son of the 13th Primarch. Hura’s face breaks into a grin as his eyes sparkle. Oh- oh he’s heard of this! A Primaris! Oh- those youngsters from the farthest in the future that near enough any of them can determine. And, so far, none have yet to fall to Chaos or to turn Renegade. But that is most likely because they are all brainwashed Scout-lings who haven’t had much life experience out of the drudgery of basic training and have yet to really sink their teeth into the poisonous, wonderous horrors of the wider galaxy.
Hm… he’s not heard of a new Primaris Marine, of any chapter coming into any of the local pods. Perhaps he’s new? Poor thing, arrived upon Ancient Terra, and unknowing of where and when he is. Likely caught in a vicious battle as Hura continues to silently approach the Scout-ling. While his wounds are stitching up, due to his Astartes constitution he notices how the poor thing was almost pulled apart by Warp Predators. Ouch. Likely the sole survivor of his Primaris Pod, unless he was the only one strong enough to survive ancient Terra’s waters and collapsed into the nearest place where he’d be able to sleep off the worst of his injuries.
Poor little scout, unknowing of the dangers and beauties of this new world and time. He does send a message on his vox through to his fellow Apothecaries, of the Alliance of Loyalist, Renegade, and Chaos factions, the youngster is not going to react well to him at all, and as, while he’s recovering, is still badly wounded and will react with far more hostility. Those Primaris Space Marine Scout-lings can be ever so vicious and suspicious of the Chaos-embracing brothers and cousins. Its likely part of their training to be so, which is a pity, as he’d so dearly love to meet with a Primaris and be able to observe their mannerisms and behaviors up close, as well as teach any who’d have the capacity, skill, and heart for being an Apothecary. He’s been one for a very long time.
Not a few moments later he’d gotten a response and an Imperial Fist Apothecary, as well as a couple of younger Apothecaries would come to his cove to gently scoop up the wounded, sleeping youngster, and hopefully get to him before the youngster woke up and then panicked at the Sight of Hura watching him from the entrance of the cave. Little brothers and cousins could be so adorable at times, and he’s slow to anger and understanding of… youthful misadventures and shenanigans.
The young Primaris Ultramarine is starting to wake, his face scrunching up and snuffling at the currents as his fins flare and curl as his senses start to inform him of the Danger that’s nearby. Hura does back off, no need to scare the poor thing absolutely silly for unknowingly entering the nest of someone else when he was so wounded and unknowing of everything that was going on around him. He waves to the Imperial Fist and other assorted Loyalists and the young Black Templar Apothecary, who doesn’t have armor, but really should get some at time hisses and growls at him, flaring his fins and his scales rucking up.
“What a wonderful threat display,” Hura coos to the youngster who thinks he’s So Scary.
Hura has seen things that would drive lesser beings mad or commit suicide. He was on one of the ships that were trapped within the warp, unable to die, unable to help his brothers and they suffered, grew sick, yet didn’t die as they were trapped in the Warp for an eternity or two until their Gene-father cracked and gave in and begged for Grandfather’s blessing, who’d happily given it to all who’d joined him. He blocks out Unpleasant memories, the past was the past and thinking about Before was… well.
No. Not a good idea. Youngsters to playfully tease. The young Primaris Ultramarine has woken up, and is skittish and an anxious youngling, but perks right up when he spots the young black Templar. He sure does think he’s scary as well, growling at Hura like he is, poor dear, his fins are torn and he can’t do a proper threat display, although he tries. It’s interesting how the Primaris Space Marines, despite being from, or at least assigned to different chapters seem to know one another, or at least of each other enough to perk up when the spot each other. Or at least, that’s what he’s heard from those that have met some of the youngest of their cousins. It’s such a terribly fascinating little puzzle that he wants to solve, but alas he can’t get near because they Really Don’t Like Chaos Space Marines.
“Hura,” One of the older Apothecaries say with a sigh.
“Yes, Kordito?” He trills out amused.
“Stop scaring the Scouts,” Kordito says with another sigh.
“But I’m not doing anything!” He protests with a pout, “I’m just floating here, near my nest.”
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unhinged-nymph · 2 years
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Mythical/Watcher Crossover, GMM #2265
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vox-off · 1 month
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brandon and i have been saving up since the set announcement to get three boxes of thunder junction boosters - one to open and two to draft out of while we wait for bloomburrow - and i gotta say, the sheer number of duplicates we pulled was a big disappointment
i mostly stopped seeing new cards after the third pack i opened; there was an occasional new card but 99% were repeats, even the prosperity post frame cards. from pack 4 onwards, it was pretty much the same 50 cards in a random rotation. we have - and i'm not kidding, we counted - over 15 copies of most cards we opened
we drafted half of the second box, then stopped and just opened the remaining packs. it felt like we were drafting the same decks over and over again, it was getting monotonous. we still have one box left and neither of us is particularly excited to open it; it's probably just going to be the same 50 cards again
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southislandwren · 11 months
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ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH the freshman wants to TRADE CARS for the weekend.... how do i politely say i would literally kill myself and everyone in a 10 mile radius if i had to let someone other than my mom, dad, and brother drive my car
#girl you are NOT getting access to my 98k mile 2017 grey subaru outback with smart cruise and lane detection and heated seats#and my stickers on the hatchback and the bluetooth audio and automaticly-changing night mode rearview mirror#and the comfy driver's seat in EXACTLY the position i want it in and the shifter knob that perfectly fits in my hand#like when my aunt drove my car last summer it basically solidified that i will never let anyone touch my car ever again#(she put a fucking TACO on TOP OF THE DASHBOARD and moved my fucking steering wheel!!!!!!!!)#my car was literally the only place i felt safe all of 2021 and 2022 im not letting some random fucking person TAKE her from me#i did not have a PANIC ATTACK leaving her at the mechanic for 2 DAYS for some fucking freshman to USE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like i know i can be territorial but boy my car is all the territory i ever need. i could live out of my car if needed.#what if she fucking crashes it. shes been in soooo many accidents (i have heard all about them.)#dude if this were in person i wouldve fucking hissed and ran away i dont let people touch my fucking car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I drove 4 hours back to school at 11pm so that i wouldnt have to have my friend drive my fucking car!!!!#like genuinely i need to find a way to say no i cannot and will not let you use my car now or ever.#i dont care what her reasons are. her boyfriend could be fucking dying and i still wouldnt.#she wants to take my car to minnesota for a WEEKEND and i would not be there ???? NOOOOOO#sorry oh my god i just have to scream and cry a little so i can try to be normal in my response#gonna ask the parents for help i think bc they know im neurotic about my car#like very genuinely im very upset right now. i reread the text and her car is having issues so she wants to TRADE CARS#without even asking if im doing anything that would need a car this weekend (ummmm i fucking work on saturday and sunday is grocery day)#like sorry thats too big of a favor especially after the fucking snail debacle.... how do i know she wont CRASH MY FUCKING CAR ?#or even just like mess with the settings. like im fucking anxious at the IDEA of her being in MY drivers seat DRIVING MY CAR !!!!!#also it smells like cow shit real bad in there. does she REALLY want to drive to fucking minnesota in a cow shit car?#i need to chill i have work soon but like holy shit this has me acting up#i guess since i dont have any real stressors any more my body is like we need LEVEL 10 EMERGENCY STRESS RIGHT NOW#if this were the school year i'd have 3 benadryl inside me right now#like genuinely if this had been in person i probably wouldve been nasty like that is MY car i did not spend thousands of dollars on her#to let someone NOT on the insurance policy drive her!!!!#god okay back to totk until my parents text me back#diary post
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just blocked and unfollowed someone for putting Makoto Shinkai slander on my dash. your name is literally The Movie Of All Time, and suzume made me feel emotions i haven't been able to stop feeling for days. it's this serious to me
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help i don’t want to change my header banner thing for my blog but i refuse to change my theme and my avatar picture thing even more but i want one of the things to be of sweet so that my blog reflects the things that i post and it’s still mostly iron maiden so i just want to change one thing and leave everything else iron maiden
the gif of bruce and janick on my header is adorable and has been there forever but it’s the only thing i can think of to change
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pears-trinkets · 2 months
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#i just wanna have artist friends again to talk about art and hype each other up o(-(#share techniques and fandoms and have ocs together#i feel like i cant do art or feelings on my own anymore i need someone to feel it with me#but also depending on people like that is unfair so i stopped doing it and my heart was shattered into a million pieces#i had so many issues drawing the past 4 years and i only have one friend and they dont draw and are aq#are awkward with words but when i send them a photo of me trying to draw they literally didnt say anything and that was just :')#ive been struggling so much because of twitter and everyone i knew seeing my breakdown 4 years ago and knowing how many bridges i burned#and how difficult it is for me to draw at all and then share my art online and my friend told me its okay just share it with me#and when they dont say anything in me screams and feels so rejected i want to never talk to anyone ever again#im literally a shell of a human struggling with everything im a trauma response on two legs#and i wanna channel that into my two oc boys both being traumatized and leaning on each other but that also makes me feel so vulnerable#i feel like my existence is so pointless and just a burden on everyone who ever crossed paths with me#i imagine everyone i ever knew just talking badly about me how obnoxious i am and how selfish and ignorant and hurtful#and how happy they are about my downfall#im on mental sick leave and have finally a bit of time to catch my breath and im drawing again and feel better but i need to return to work#i cant do this#im so privileged and i still feel so bad and its so hard#i feel like every privilege i have will be followed by the most gruesome horrible thing because i dont deserve it and im unworthy of it#i dont think ill ever be able to build normal human relationships ever again ill shrivel up alone and die without anyone caring#while my mom is telling me im doing it on purpose and because i reject everyone#why is existing to painful and why am i doing worse worse doing it
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bohemiandeer · 2 months
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You know what hits me hard? When 5 to 6 year old children, all the way in Southeast Asia, knows about what's happening in Palestine right now. That children their age is getting bombed, that they're starving to death, that they're getting shot at, and sniped in the head. Because, just this past 2 or so months, I heard some of the little ones in the Kindergarten classes I'm TAing in as an Intern talk about it. Hell, one of the little boys downright said he didn't like Israel, because Israel is bad, because they do scary things. Another was questioning whether Palestine was bad too, because, "why else would they shooting at them?". A little girl in one of my classes doesn't want to finish her food at all, because she wants to save at least half her meat and rice for kids in Palestine, because she heard that, they don't have food. And that's just the ones I remember. Namely the inciting cases before their classmates slowly follow suit. The littles are fricking SCARED. We had to sit these kids down, and tell them that the topic is too mature for them at the moment, that they shouldn't even be concerned because they're KINDERGARTNERS, they're not even old enough to properly understand. The one teacher I was TAing for had to make a class announcement saying that. What gets me is, these are 5 to 6 year olds, the youngest I've worked with in this specific age group is 4. 5 years old on average, and they've already been exposed to the worst horrors genocide has to offer through the news and snippets of conversation among adults and hell, considering how many of them say they like to play games on Mama's phone, or their IPad, even from fricking social media. And the fact that, these literal babies, from all the way in Cambodia, has more empathy in their entire body and soul, than full grown fricking adults have in the nail of their pinky finger, gets me. FFS we as adults could LEARN from them I feel sometimes. I honestly don't know what to feel about it anymore. On the one hand, this is the next generation I'm working with. And if the next generation's default response to a tragedy such as Palestine, is what I've seen come up on occasion so far? Perhaps there's some bloody hope for this world after all. At least in this country. Especially since a majority of them already come from families who survived a genocide. These are the 3rd - 4th generation descendants of those who survived the Khmer Rouge. They've got grandparents at home, who no doubt are more than intimately familiar with what Palestine is going through right now. And it shows.
But on the other, it makes my heart sink because these are CHILDREN, these are LITTLE KIDS, they should be playing with their toys and watching cartoons and talking to their friends about everything from Spiderman to Speakerman to Kuromi and her friends, and be worried about whether or not they can go to playground that day, guranteed they're well behaved, or if Mama remembered to pack in their costume for swimming lessons that week. NOT JUST MY KIDS. But the little ones in Palestine too. They deserve better. They all deserve, so much better. Hell, it's come to the point that whenever I look at my kiddos right now, whether they'd be working in class, playing, doing something as mundane as eating lunch or getting ready for their nap. I think of the children their age in Palestine that didn't even get the chance to survive. I think of the ones whose memories from this age, is nothing but absolute horror and pain, rather than what has slowly become my normal, who never got to experience what my littles do on a daily basis right now.
Children shouldn't even be concerned about "War", about a Genocide. The last thing that should be on a 5 year old's mind, is pain, and suffering, and the worst horrors imaginable ever to be inflicted on a human being. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S INFLICTED, ON OTHER CHILDREN THEIR AGE. And for that alone, the world has failed them. Especially the kids in Palestine who didn't ask for any of this. They just wanted to carry on with life as kids do, the same way as my littles do on a daily basis no doubt, learning, playing, chatting with friends over their favourite cartoons and characters, worrying about whether they'd get to go to the playground or not that day.
I apologize for talking about this on this blog. I know my blog tends to be lighter in feel, a lot more unhinged and light hearted typically. I mean, I'm just a fricking nerd who likes to draw and write, and lurk about her favourite fandoms to consume and support what is shared among other nerds who also like to draw and write. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. About contemplating it, especially since I'll be back on a roll tomorrow, working with my kiddos again after not seeing them for 5 days straight because of Holidays. And, I just had to talk about it. This is something I felt I couldn't keep to myself this time, I don't think my soul'd be able to carry it. I had to talk about it.
FREE PALESTINE. Our children deserve better.
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inkskinned · 3 months
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader
[Chapter 27] || [Chapter 29]
Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.2K~ cw: illness, injuries, hurt/comfort, fluff, love confessions! Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: Just a cute little moment
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Chapter 28: How in the-
The trip with John was short but sweet. A full weekend together, away from everything…
Followed by 4 whole weeks alone. Not that you minded the extra piece and quiet.
You were normally kept at a distance from the boys and their line of work. Arms length, not because they don’t trust you, but because just like Simon learned to drop Ghost at the door, the rest drop work at the door too.
The closest thing you get to ‘work’ is funny anecdotes that can even make you laugh, OR soft, whispered, retelling of memories as your hands snake over their rough skins, fingers grazing the scars that those memories left behind.
Today was a first. In a lot of ways.
The boys showed up at your flat at 3 A.M. after spending a whole month out of Hereford and in God knows where.
You had opened the door very wearily to the sight of the four of them, not even having changed out of their tactical gear, looking like they had been through hell.
Kyle was walking with a limp and a groan, his back stiff and an inability to properly swivel side to side at the hips.
Johnny had gotten his shoulder shot?? Plus his knee was acting up so he was also limping.
John was, also, limping. His back was also stiff and he murmured something about having pulled a muscle.
And Simon? The man’s eyes were surrounded by circles darker than you’d ever seen them, his shoulders slumped. He moved normally, unlike the others. And that concerned you more than anything.
“Jesus, what happened?”
“Mission mishaps. They happen sometimes, da’lin’.” John told you soothingly as he attempted to press a kiss to the crown of your head, but wincing when he felt the pain shoot up his spine.
“Sounds to me like more than mishaps. There’s no way all four of you are injured and it was just a ‘mishap’.” You scolded them as you carefully helped them off their gear, multiple men groaning and grunting in pain as the heavy weights were shed from their torsos.
“Have you been checked?”
“Yes, we went to medic before coming over-” Kyle told you.
“And they let you leave on foot? You look like you all should be on bed rest!” You scolded them.
“And that’s why we’re here.” Johnny added before letting out a groan when you moved his arm, sending pain barreling down his arm.
“How in the-” You murmured as you noted the patched up bullet wound.
“Don’t ask…” Kyle muttered under his breath, a whimper of a sound that you had never quite heard from him.
They were like lost puppies… Needy for being lulled to sleep by a soft hand caressing them behind the ears after some nasty man kicked them on the street.
So that’s how you ended up with four injured soldiers in your house. Ghost took the living room couch, leaving the bed for John and Kyle and Johnny.
“Don’t get any blood on my bed, Johnny!” You warned him. “If something happens, you call me.” You had added as you made sure they were as comfortable as can be before you slipped out of the room.
Reaching the living room, it was now well past 4 A.M. Simon was lying there, one leg swung over the back of your couch, and eyes locked on the shower. “You okay, Simon?” You checked softly.
“Fine, sweetheart.”
“Don’t look fine to me.” You retorted and sat on the armchair by his head, looking down at him, your hand finding his and caressing it.
He twitched a bit against the pillows, brown eyes fluttering for a moment as he took a deep breath. “Mission went tits up. Strained ourselves trying to finish.”
“You too, then?” You asked him and he nodded. “Where?”
“Everywhere. I’m sore all over… And I think I have a fever.” He admitted.
“Do you wanna try a shower?” You suggested and he shook his head.
“I don’t wanna stand up for that long… I get dizzy.”
“And a bath?” You added.
“…” Simon didn’t answer but he groaned and forced himself to stand up. You helped guide him to the bathroom.
After lowering the stopper and allowing the water to flow into the tub, you looked at Simon. “I’ll be outside, okay? I’ll give you privacy.” You told him softly.
Leaning up, you kissed his pale cheek, and turned away…
Only for him to catch you by the wrist. “Stay.”
“What?” You asked him, unsure you heard him right.
“Stay. Please.” He requested.
“But… you said you didn’t-” You trailed off, the memory of his fear of exposing his body to you (or anyone) clear in your mind.
“I know what I said. Just… Please.” He insisted.
“Okay.” You replied and nodded, stepping forward again. He reached his arms up, painfully slowly, the same way John and Kyle and Johnny had.
You grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and slowly rolled it up, your eyes finding his scar-riddled torso for the first time. Blotchy skin due to chemical burns here and there, big gashes and smaller cuts spread throughout.
Simon was looking away the whole time as you helped him off his cargos and underwear. The injuries continued down his legs, every inch of him nasty and ugly, only due to how brutal his scars were. In reality, it all made no difference to you.
“You okay?” You checked on him. He nodded slowly, his eyes screwed shut.
“Let’s get you into the water, okay? It’ll do you good.” You said as you grabbed him by the bicep and helped get him into a seated position inside the tub.
Then, you knelt by his side just as he was grunting in relief, his muscles relaxing in the water. 
The bathtub that had felt tight with you and Johnny in it months ago, now felt even smaller with Simon Riley in it. 
Grabbing the sponge, you carefully ran it over his torso and shoulders, wetting the part of him that didn’t fit in the bath.
The blond leaned his head back on the wall and opened his eyes, finding you looking at him.
“Thank you.” Simon told you in a whisper.
“For bathing you?”
“For dating me.” He replied, causing you to smile.
“My, Simon, you might be sicker than I expected. Where’s the confidence?” You teased him good-naturely, earning a soft chuckle from him.
“Was never here. Just faking it until I made it…” He admitted and shook his head, letting it lull against the tiles.
“I see, well… It worked.” You joked as you kept wetting his body carefully.
“We’re lucky to have you.” He murmured. “You didn’t have to do this. To put up with us.”
“It’s not putting up if I like you.” You told him. “Besides… you take care of me. I take care of you. Mutually beneficial, that’s what a relationship should be.”
“I don’t take care of you because I like you.” Simon whispered, a drowsy look in his tired eyes.
“Then what for?” You asked him. “Because you want to shag me that bad?” You joked again and winked.
“No… because I love you.” Simon muttered, his lips a bit lazy in the way he said it, clearly too relaxed and tired and groggy to really think straight.
Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped open, your hands going limp and dropping the sponge. “Simon…”
“You don’t have to say it back.” He said as he rolled his head against the tile wall, side to side. “Just wanted you to know.”
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byunpum · 6 months
Text
Mama's boy
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Pair: Jake x neytiri x human reader (trio couple) x sully children's
Warning: none, lo'ak being a sweet little potato for is mama. Sweet family moment.
Request: (anon) You were incredible in these new chapters, if it wasn't much, I would have been able to do a trisal story about Jake, neitiry and reader human where she has 2 more hybrid children (half human,Half na'vi)..
Note: I have always believed that avatars may be able to reproduce with humans. Both males and females. Since there are human traits in their DNA. So both jake and his children could reproduce with any human. That is my theory.
AVATAR MASTERLIST | Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6(final)
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You loved days like this, it was a fresh and calm day in the jungle of Pandora. No one in the family had anything important to do. Just relax and spend time together. If anyone had told you that in a few years you were going to be sitting quietly on the floor of your home. With your son on your lap, while playing with one of his toys. With such loving partners, you wouldn't have believed them. And you had a good point for not believing. Neytiri and Jake were your mates, while you were human. The only human who was mated to two na'vi. The only human who had given birth to a na'vi baby, naturally.
Lo'ak had been born as a na'vi. With his distinctive braid, tail, skin color, ears etc. Just like his father, jake. But his human features were always there, he inherited your hands, some facial features that made him different from his siblings. Like kiri, they were a mixture of human and na'vi. This was not important to you, in your family these differences were not important and everyone was treated equally.
Neytiri was running around in circles playing with kiri, while neteyam was playing with jake. Meanwhile lo'ak was sitting very comfortably on your lap. Sucking his little finger, while you cuddled him. He was very peaceful, well…when he was with you. The bond that lo'ak had with you was very strong, he needed his mommy with him all the time. Neteyam and kiri were more active, while lo'ak preferred to be by your side. You tried to keep him away from you, so that he would become more independent. But it was all in vain, even mo'at herself told you that this was normal. That eventually he would become more independent, but he was already 5 years old, and he didn't seem to improve. Of course, this never bothered you… lo'ak became your own tail. Always behind you. Lo'ak could be with neytiri, about 3 to 5 hours. But then he would cry for you to hold him, and it was the same with jake. Lo'ak just wanted to be with you.
Neteyam ran to you, hugging you. The boy was about your size, but you didn't care. Hugging him back, to give him lots of kisses on his cheeks. Neteyam didn't notice but pushed lo'ak off your lap, causing the boy to fall to the ground. "mama… I want to be with you" says neteyam, now sitting where lo'ak once was. Lo'ak immediately began to cry. It was a very big and exaggerated whine. "Calm love…neteyam needs to be with me too" you try to calm him down, but you could barely touch him. Because neteyam was curled up on your chest. Neytiri comes closer, taking lo'ak in her arms to calm him down.
After a long six minutes, lo'ak calms down. But you can see how the child looks down from above, on Neytiri's shoulder. His eyes were watery and he was pouting. You try to ignore him, he has to learn that you were not only from him. Neteyam was also your son, as was Kiri. And they too demanded your attention. Kiri approaches his younger brother, hopping from neytiri's feet. "You're a mama's boy… an ugly, crying baby," Kiri says jokingly. Neytiri scolds her, while you and jake couldn't hold in the laughter. It was funny, but you take Kiri by the arm. Sitting her down next to you.
"Kiri…that's not right, lo'ak is special. He needs a lot of love" says neytiri holding the child in her arms, hoping he doesn't start crying. "No…mama is mine!!!!" says neteyam, hugging your neck more. Lo'ak whimpers, lifting his head from neytiri's shoulder. "Noooo mama is mine" shouts lo'ak.
"No!!!, only mine!!!" neteyam yells back, sticking out his tongue. This makes lo'ak upset, and he starts to cry. "nooo mama!!!! Let go of neteyam!!!!! Mama let go of me, I want to go on the floor" lo'ak is crying, while neytiri giggles a little. It's adorable to watch as the two children fight for your attention. Jake gets up from the floor, walking to your direction and taking neteyam from your lap. To now lay him down on the floor. Kneeling on the floor to carry you in his arms, bridal style. You laugh, as the children begin to whine.
"Technically, your mom is all mine" jake says, sticking his tongue out at his kids, reaching over to give you a kiss on your forehead. Watching as they start to whine. Neytiri was giggling, while now all the kids wanted her to carry them to keep up with jake. "Well…I'd say I'm more Neytiri's than yours" you say, reaching up to give him a kiss on the tip of his nose. (Y/N is wearing the oxygen mask I'm always mentioning, "click here" to learn more about it) Neytiti lets out a loud laugh, you could see her cheeks turn purple. Neytiri had a soft spot for you. Jake lets out a sigh of surrender and hugs you tighter. Leaving kisses on your neck, while you laugh.
In the evening, everyone was settled in their respective hammocks. You were finishing getting Kiri settled, while Jake put the boys to bed. After a while, you lay down in your own hammock, you were tired. You were about to go to sleep, when you feel little hands touching your arm. You open your eyes, finding lo'ak's little face. The child had his arms outstretched for you to carry him. Laughing a little, you hold the child. And settle him on your chest. Snuggling him with your arms, giving him lots of kisses on the crown of his head. "My beautiful baby…you are sad" you lullaby to lo'ak. He only responds with a "hmmm" and falls asleep in your arms.
Jake comes up to you one last time, to check that all was well. As he approaches, he notices how you and lo'ak were cuddling. "I imagined he was with you," Jake said softly. Leaning in to give you a kiss on the tip of your nose. "Well… you know what he's like" you joke. "He's a mama's boy…a cute mama's boy. You know…" jake pauses, thinking about how he was going to say what he was going to say next. "Eventually you'll have to let him grow up…kids his age are more independent and " jake is interrupted, when one of your hands goes to his mouth. "Shhh shut up…when it's time, he'll grow up on his own…in the meantime we'll be here for him." you speak, slapping jake's arm playfully. There was a small silence, until you see a playful smile on Jake's lips.
"Babe…why don't you leave lo'ak here quietly and come sleep with me and neytiri" jake takes your hand and gives it a kiss on the palm, causing you to giggle and blush. "Together…the three of us" jake jokes biting your fingers. You laugh softly, trying not to wake lo'ak. You think about it for a moment, and the truth is you missed sleeping with jake and neytiri. Lo'ak consumed too much of your time, so you accept Jake's offer. You carefully settled lo'ak down, making sure he was comfortable.
Jake was behind you, excited. You could hear his tail bump between his legs. He held your hand, walking quickly to the hammock that you and Jake and Neytiri usually shared. Neytiri watches as you and Jake approach. She gets excited, it had been about 3 months since you last slept with them. Reaching out her hand, she takes yours. You climb in easily, feeling Jake hold you around the waist. Both of you settling into the hammock. You were in the middle of them, neytiri hugged you. While Jake hugs you from behind, burying his head in the back of your neck. "I missed this," says neytiri, enjoying the comfort. A couple of minutes later, lo'ak's crying began to be heard. You lift your head from neytiri's chest, beginning to stand up. When you feel her hug you tighter. "No… Y/N you must let him calm down himself" neytiri says. "Y/N, neytiri is right" jake speaks.
"He ate, he's clean and he's comfortable. He can be alone" says neytiri, she was serious. You knew you had to leave him alone, but lo'ak was your baby. Your only baby. "If he doesn't stop crying in five minutes, I'll go check on him. You stay here and rest," Jake speaks, kissing your shoulder. Your partner had you in his arms, if it wasn't for that you'd be at lo'ak's side by now. And as if by magic, lo'ak stopped crying. Jake got out of the hammock and checked from afar. Seeing how the child had already fallen asleep.
"See…it's all right," says Neytiri, hugging you even tighter. You snuggle closer to her. As you feel jake settle in behind you. Hugging you both. This parenting thing was all new to all of you.
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norrisleclercf1 · 3 months
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i cant stop thinking about being sandwiched between carlando and there both just sleepy boys who have a tight grip on you and they just love you so much your there baby
A/N: This has been sitting here forever, but I finally got inspired
It was one of those rare moments when both Carlos and Lando are home at the same time. It was rare for them to be home at the same time, as their schedules were so hectic that you would normally only seen one of them or neither. Of course, you would sometimes feel left out, as they were with each other more than you were with them.
But it was mornings like these, that reminds you, you have nothing to be worried about. Carlos was sound asleep, snoring a little storm behind you as his arm was wrapped around you and Lando both, holding both of you close.
Lando was in front of you, his face slack showing off his boyish age which made you smile. His beard was growing a little bit better, and honestly it has grown on you so much, but you'd never openly admit it to him. Lando whines and moves closer, his curls tickling your nose, but you don't mind.
You feel Carlos's arm tighten and then relax, you knew this meant he was awake, but still quiet sleepy as they had flown in not even 4 hours ago. Their bodies, trying to get used to the proper time.
"Time?" Carlos whispers, his voice dark and smokey from the sleep. You turn over slowly, careful to not stir Lando who was a deep sleeper. "3 am," You whisper, snuggling into your boyfriend's chest. Carlos sighs and closes his eyes, hair messy and lips puffy.
Lando moves closer into you and sighs in a way that has Carlos moving his fingers over Lando's sides. "I know you're awake," Carlos whispers, which has Lando groan and move even closer into you. "I hate time zones, they shouldn't exists." Lando groans, voice croaky but keeps close to you, craving body warmth.
"Shhhh, go back to sleep," Carlos whispers and Lando nods his head, closing his eyes mouth falling open again and soft snores leave his lips. Carlos chuckles and you laugh as well, as Lando had no issues falling back asleep. "You should get some more sleep too," You whisper, wanting him to get that proper sleep, especially with them traveling all the time it's hard to get the proper amount of sleep.
"I'll get some more sleep soon, just want to enjoy this a little bit more," Carlos hums, but you can see him losing the fight with sleep. It doesn't take long, as you close your eyes and feel Carlos fall asleep beside you. "I'm glad you two are home," You whisper.
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