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#i might delete this. feels big.
inkskinned · 3 months
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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mattodore · 2 months
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OC Evolution tag: 2024 <- 2018
choose an oc and show the progress of the earliest to latest version of them
tagged by @elderwisp! it took me hours to find the oldest trays i could of theirs but uh... yeah. everyone else i've seen do this had such nice sims in the past but i think my old sims have to be some kind of sin against god.
i’ll tag @stinkrascal, @wldestluv-rs, @spurgees, @veone, and @warmsol <3
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blushingsastiel · 7 months
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wonder if sam ever truly feels safe. yeah, the bunker helps. it's made to be almost impossible to penetrate. but then, he is possessed by an angel without knowing in the bunker where he kills kevin and now, it doesn't feel quite as safe (and so many other things have happened. lucifer locking himself in sam's room and now his own room feels dirty). he feels safe with dean, but sometimes he gets the horrible hissing in his head saying, "he's going to kill you. you're evil and a fuckup." and even his own head doesn't feel safe. sam doesn't know anymore.
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canisalbus · 7 months
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just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3
Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.
#this comes with a big serious disadvantage though#it often takes me a long time to write that response#my social batteries are extremely small and a lot of the time by the time I go online I feel too worn out to engage with people properly#I'm autistic anxious and severely depressed my spoons are in short supply at the best of times#I've always had really hard time putting my thoughts into words in a way that I find satisfactory#so I keep putting off reblogging gift art#because most of the time my brain is too smushed to formulate that meaningful comment I want to give#maybe that sounds dumb and fake#but this is something I've struggled with for years and I feel extremely guilty for keeping people waiting like that#often weeks sometimes months even#and potentially making them feel underappreciated and unnoticed#I'm also genuinely very scatterbrained and unorganized and I miss and forget things I'm supposed to do all the time#not to mention that I tend to have trouble keeping track of my mentions and dms and asks I'm only one person#so if you've ever drawn something for me and I didn't/haven't responded yet#please know it's not personal it's entirely my fault I'm kind of a mess#and chances are I'm still very much attempting to get back to you#feel free to remind me if you feel like I might have not noticed your post I really don't mind at all it often helps me a lot#and please if you can don't delete the post even if it seems like I didn't see it#because again sometimes it takes me a long time to respond#thank you to everyone who has stayed endlessly patient with me though I appreciate it#sorry this spiraled into a list of apologies and excuses this is actually something that bothers me a lot#because it's largely a mental health thing but easily comes off as ungratefulness#I'm trying to work on that#answered#anonymous
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hm. you know... since i no longer hate my art... i Could transfer this blog to my main. i could shimmy right over there! it would make many things easier!
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oh-wow-im-still-here · 3 months
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Oh? What am I reading? Its this book series I really like called scum villain's self-saving system! Its one of my favorites.
Oh? What's it about? Hmm how do I explain it... Basically, Imagine revenge of the Sith except its fantasy instead of scifi and it has a happy ending where anakin skywalker and obi-wan kenobi start fucking instead of fighting on mustafar to save the world--
hey w-wait, where are you going? H-hey wait, please! Come baaack!!
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rat-rosemary · 11 days
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I'm just saying his to make it obvious, but I'm not about to crucify people who continue to explore the dsmp character of Wilbur Soot from now on
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arsenalgears · 7 months
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this is too lazy to post on my art acc i did this in like 1.5hrs based off this post
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grimfantas · 2 years
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you can call me heartless all you'd like, but it won't bring her back and it won't help you heal.
#tails the fox#shadow the hedgehog#sonic x#based on a roleplay I had with my partner. who writes an extremely incredible shadow#I write my thoughts here because Sonic X ending has me terribly fucked up#considering how young tails is to be suffering from grief I bet it's especially difficult to handle a kid who has no clue how to process it#who had to make an extremely unfair choice to kill someone he loves. and then to take it out on his big brother#Taking out his anger and insisting on blaming someone for cosmo's death... it's very heartbreaking.#Imagining if Shadow had come back and Tails had not finished grieving yet. there already soooo much anguish#Exploring grief in art is very very fun but there is something so gutwrenching imagining someone so young have to figure out how to deal#with that. younger people often acting out and not realizing how unfair they are until time has passed and not understanding#multi faceted perspectives etc. I know its a bit odd to go crazy about osmething like this over Sonic X but something about Cosmo and Tails#just hit very hard and I care about them very much. tails is huge favorite. i care about him so much#I probably shouldn't dwell on the sad parts of sonic x too much but that last scene tails has with sonic stuck hard#Can't imagine how strained it might feels for the next few months. and Sonic just takes it. Can't even look at Tails or answer him. HMMMM#anyways im done being chatty in tags I will delete my thoughts later as per usual. hehe. Sorry <3#sonic
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lunar-wandering · 2 years
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i’m never ever going to make a post like this again, but if i see ONE MORE POST about this im going to actually break down sobbing so.
Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque are NEVER canonly stated to be brothers.
Yes, they are the origin of the “evil twin” plot point. Yes, the may be inspired by an older legend of “two monkey god brothers”.
But not once, does the text of Journey to the West say they are canonically brothers.
I did not spend an entire week researching these two (and done it multiple more times whenever it was brought into question), just for people to go around saying “They were canonically blood brothers in Journey to the West, and Lego Monkie Kid will make them brothers later on :)”.
(Of course, if you headcanon them as being brothers, or prefer to see them that way, that’s fine. I have no problems with that. It’s your interpretation after all. It’s people saying it’s definitely canon that I take issue with.)
First and fore most, Wukong literally can’t have siblings. Sure, he can have siblings by choice, like the other pilgrims, but he was born from a rock, y’all. I think we would’ve heard if the rock had done anything else.
Secondly: The text of Journey to the West does NOT say they are brothers. I don’t know why we have to go through this so many times. In fact; in Journey to the West, it says they didn’t even know each other. The Six Eared Macaque, as well as Sun Wukong, are declared as the same species (a mystic monkey, that doesn’t match up with any other kind of being, of which there are only four in this world), not as family. Six Eared Macaque was only able to disguise himself as Sun Wukong, and copy his abilities, because of his ability to hear the past present and future- he listened to all the training Wukong did, and thus replicated it. And even with the ability to hear so much, outside of no-one being able to tell the two monkeys apart, he doesn’t actually do that good of a job at pretending to be Wukong (hitting Tripitaka on the head for example). The two of them had never met before this in Journey to the West canon.
(I’m mainly keeping this post about Journey to the West, but it’s obvious Lego Monkie Kid has changed many backstories. However; if the show was going to go with the route of them being brothers, I’m extremely certain it would’ve been stated by now. For one, the creators do interact with the fans, and have encouraged Macaque/Wukong content. Secondly, “beloved friend” would most certainly have been changed to “dear brother”. He would’ve described the hero and the warrior as brothers in that story, because there literally would not have been a better time to drop that information story wise. If they were going to be confirmed as siblings, it would’ve been done by now, I assure you. Of course, this doesn’t mean I think Macaque/Wukong will be canon either. If anything, it’ll just stick to them being friends, which makes perfect sense in a story that focuses on friends and found family like this. You can headcanon them as brothers if you want, but do not go running around claiming it as canon- and telling newcomers who are questioning and genuinely don’t know that it’s canon.)
Thirdly: “but what about the movies where they’re brothers” you say. “but what about Dislyte, where they’re brothers” you say. Now look at me. If you were heterosexual, and you saw a story like the Six Eared Macaque being obsessed with Sun Wukong’s life, what would you take away from that??? Almost definitely, the first answer in your mind would be siblings. Not to mention the other popular idea of him literally being part of Sun Wukong (this is also not canon. Sure, allegorically he might represent Wukong’s internal battle with his violent tendencies, but literally almost every character in Journey to the West is an allegory. The whole damn book is an allegory. But we’re not looking at the allegory here, we’re looking at the story), these are both common directions that would be taken. But just because it makes for good story potential, to give a deeper meaning behind these two characters by making them siblings or part of one whole, does not make it canon. You can’t look at one interpretation of a story and say it was canon to another. Would you take Gnomeo and Juliet and say “well since they survived at the end, it must be canon they survived in the original play, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong”? No. No you wouldn’t. Because that’s an assumption, that’s a twist on a story to give a new meaning to it. But even if it’s fun, it’s not part of the original.
So, to put a cap on this post, sure, go ahead, think of the Six Eared Macaque and Sun Wukong as brothers if you want. I literally couldn’t care less. That’s your own interpretation of it. Block the shadowpeach tag if it makes you uncomfortable, that’s what tag blocking is for.
But do not. Do Not go into people’s askboxes and tell them the Six Eared Macaque and Sun Wukong are canonically related. Do not go into the askboxes of people who ship shadowpeach and send them death threats for their own interpretation of a shows interpretation of two guys who didn’t even know each other in the original text. Do Not tell people who ask that the two of them are canonically related, because then you’re just spreading misinformation.
Once again, if you view them as family, and don’t do any of the above, you’re fine, this post is not about you. Have fun with your ideas and stories /gen
This is the only post I’m ever going to make on this subject. If you try to argue with me you will be blocked. You can reblog, but for the sake of my anxiety I’d rather not have any replies or comments on this.
Please, y’all. If I can have enough respect to stay in my own bubble, and not force shadowpeach on people who don’t want it, and can keep myself from claiming that it’s going to be canon, then why can’t the people who have decided to interpret them as brothers do the same?
#Monkie Kid#JTTW#Journey to the West#tagging the big names here because i want this to reach#gonna be honest. im terrified to be posting this. but i GLANCED in the main tag today and saw something and just.#i cant. ive had this rant building in me since august of last year. i cant keep silent about it anymore#i'd rather not post this at all. might even delete it. i dont like interacting with drama#i HATE fandom drama#i know the reason why there seems to be so much of it here is because the LMK fandom is new#and still growing#and that things will probably settle down in a bit#but i just. every time i see someone say ''Macaque and Wukong are DEFINITELY brothers''#instead of ''i view them as brothers''#i just get SO FUCKING ANXIOUS#i remember the initial drama#(which. by the way was started by one person. one. Just One. One person was all it took for nobody to check sources)#i remember my friends getting hate messages and death threats#and i remember everyone taking a break from shadowpeach for a bit#and. tbh. it's never felt the same. there's not as much content of it anymore.#it almost feels like everyone panicked and scrambled for new ships to replace the ''oh so awful shadowpeach''#and even after things settled down. the damage had been done.#too many people too scared to come back into creating the content they had enjoyed creating before#just ONE PERSONS POST was enough to ruin the comfort and fun of so many people#and i will never forgive nor recover from that.#.....#vent#this is very much a vent post#i think im going to go offline for the next hour or two#to give this post a bit to settle down after i post it.#i might delete it after i come back online. who knows.
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applesandbannas747 · 7 months
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actually i think I am going to be a dick about this even though it's possible I'm being unreasonable. I think it's shitty to post art from behind Jo's paywall unless it's art you commissioned. Otherwise, you are denying her income from posting and/or posting something someone else bought, which sucks a little
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princeloww · 1 month
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ugg I can't wait to move out istg my dad is doing something downstairs and he's got weird paint dust coated on literally every single surface downstairs and he didn't think to tell me before he was going to cover the entire room in dust??? And he didn't put any of my stuff away he just left it there so now I have to re-do my orders and clean out all my stuff and pray to god that he hasn't fucked up my new badge machine and and and
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loveletterworm · 3 months
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Awesoem
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moribundtcake · 2 months
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Hi hello I took a february social media break and now it's no longer february
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fishymom-art · 3 months
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.
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fefflerone · 4 months
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Anyone else ever really embarrassed about the fandoms they’re in or is it just me
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