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runningonadhd · 2 months

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The Sides and Their Vocal Ranges

Ok I don’t know what this is going to be, but I wanted to make this because it’s something that really interests me. And since there are going to be SIX SONGS in the finale, it’s sorta relevant.

Please note I am not a professional, I work with a professional on vocals but I am in no way qualified to judge anyone’s singing. I’m just being silly and talking about where the sides ranges sit. Idk if I had to make that note but whateves. Pls call me out if I said something stupid

Thomas himself is very talented in both voice acting and singing. In several songs he has gone from a tenor range to a borderline bass. Not even borderline, now that I think about it. In the crofters song that tenors could only hit in their dreams. I can’t completely speak on the matter but I feel he usually sounds most comfortable in a low tenor/high baritone range.

Whoooo, Roman. I really, really wanna pin him as an fboy tenor, but that wouldn’t be truthful to his range or his character. As I’m writing this, I’m listening to Incomplete, which honestly isn’t the best example because it’s a lot of sing-talking, which there’s nothing wrong with that, it just doesn’t really help with figuring out where each of the sides sit, which is unfortunate because it’s currently the only song they’re all in (minus J+R, but we’ll get to them later). The best example of Roman is the Crofters song, where he hit some high notes, specifically at the the beginning and end, but based on all of him that we’ve heard and remembering to check in his accent, as it to an extent effects how high or low he could go, I’m pretty confident in saying he sits comfortably at a high baritone range, not unlike Thomas, but the accent definitely separates Roman from his normal singing voice. Idk if I’m explaining this right.

We all know the stigma around baritones only being villains or dads, but thankfully Patton doesn’t follow this trend. I actually think with the way he talks and the slight…. Accent? I think? He has?? Like when he goes “oh well pushing people down stairs doesn’t sound very nice Janus!” Like did it do the thing in your head too??? Anyway he has a very high speaking voice, which obviously means he sings higher then the others. He, at the moment, is the only side to sit at a completely tenor range, if a lower tenor range.

With Logan, I am completely blinded by headcanons, but I will try to keep this truthful. Logan hits some moderately high notes to really high notes for Thomas’ range, specifically the “Even I-I-I-I-I” but he talks in a much lower range. My hypothesis is that Logan COULD possibly be a high bass as much as he could be a low tenor. He talks very flatly normally, which seems to weigh his voice down a bit itself, and you can hear that better in Incomplete with the talk-singing (hey, I lied! It WAS helpful!) anyway Logan as a bass 2024 I need it

Not unlike Logan, Virgil speaks in a lower range, even lower then Logan, I think. His best singing examples are Lies and Incomplete (see? I keep proving myself wrong!) I’m too lazy to look up the Lies video and then click on the video and then watch the video until they start singing, so let’s focus on Incomplete. When I say it’s one of his best singing examples, I’m referring to “you’re lost, it’s okay, I was lost once to but thanks to all of you life sucks less now” Virgil actually seems to sing higher then he talks, if not by very much because you can still feel the gravity in his voice, and it’s very apparent here, where he’s singing very light and airy, but it also sounds a bit like he’s hitting his limit, so Virgil is sorta able to go high, but we’re focusing on where he can sing comfortably. I sentence him to Thomas’ Low tenor/high baritone, but his emo accent(???) and slightly lower range set him apart from Thomas’ normal singing

You know how I said I wanted Roman to be a fboy tenor? I was wrong, because Remus is the real fboy tenor (/baritone). Like Pat, he has a very high speaking voice, to the the point where his voice is constantly breaking, which isn’t exactly a bad thing, especially for his character. Remus is one of only two sides to have his own full song at the moment I’m writing this, so obviously his best example is Forbidden Fruit. Like his speech, Remus’ singing is high, uneven, and chaotic. This doesn’t mean it sounds bad, I listen to midwestern emo for the same reason, but he there are some belting parts where Thomas loses the accent, which is again not a bad thing. Belting is hard, especially when doing accents (I have personal experience, personal experience being Santa Fe. Damn you Santa Fe.) overall, you’d think this would have something to do with the outcome, but I only wrote all of that to make it sound like I know what I’m doing. He’s a tenor/high baritone, that’s the point I’m trying to make

Janus is quite a special case, him being the second to have his own song (despite that it was a cover, but it still counts). His performance sounds most like Thomas’ normal singing voice, but that might just be because it’s not an original song. He goes pretty high at some points, and I have a little more insight because I worked on Into The Unknown with my vocal coach because of Janus. It’s not a particularly hard song to sing, but it’s nothing that doesn’t require some work, and Thomas did an amazing job. Again, what does this have to do with his range. Nothing, I just like talking about myself. Because Janus’ voice was so similar to Thomas’ the one time we heard him sing, I’m gonna place him in low tenor/high baritone.

Idk if I should post this because to me it looks like a heaping pile of garbage, but I’ll probably post it anyway just to make the world a little worse.

Thx if u read that all Ik most of it prolly doesn’t make sense

Oh, and orange is a soprano, obvi

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #orange sanders #orange side #thatsthat24 #ts orange side #ts patton #ts virgil #ts janus #ts remus #ts thomas #ts sanders sides #ts roman #ts theories #ts logan #ts essay

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alparlaboratories · 1 year

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My OCs Masterlist

I got tired of having to look through my mess of a computer to find drawings and other stuff about old OCs and characters I might wanna use in the future, and I’m bored right now so I figured I’d make a list with all of my important OCs, or at least the ones that mean the most to me.

These are not ALL of my OCs, just the main ones for their respective stories/campaigns. But there’s still a lot, lol. Also I’m not counting Niss for this list, even if she’s an OC in my heart. You can learn more about her in my pinned post anyway.

(Note: Art is either made by me, my partner @pastlight or has been commissioned by various artists)

Metchi

You know how parents say they don’t have a favorite child? Well I do and it’s Metchi. ‘What if someone decided they wanted to do good purely out of spite and had pretty much everything stacked against them?’ I asked myself. ‘What if she was also a grungy trans girl who has no fucking clue what she’s doing and is constantly bickering with the deity inside her head?’ was the next question. And from that, Metchi was born. The willpower to burn a hole through Mt. Coronet yet the resources and energy of someone who considers cigarettes the most effective breakfast.

Nico

He’s my PC from our current (in hiatus) Pokemon tabletop campaign. A Lumiosian street artist and Sky Trainer who enjoys throwing himself off of high places and being completely fucking incomprehensible to all who meet him. The only neurons in his brains are dedicated to serving looks, calling the wind to his command and delivering the most unhinged takes on the nature of human happiness he can think of.

Tulip

‘I would like to make a tragic character whose obsession with the truth will inevitably lead her to ruin’ I thought. ‘Oh, fuck’ Tulip replied. Out of all my stories, hers is currently my favorite from a writing perspective, and I owe a lot of that to Tulip herself, always willing to push and push until something pushes back, because it’s what she thinks she owes to the people who were just as unfortunate as her. And I love her for it.

Hope and Hunter

These two come in a package deal. ‘Small town life-long friendship’ is something I’ve been meaning to try my hand at writing for a while, and though their story is at the very beginning, I like them quite a lot already. A lot of my personal history with friendships and growing up into your twenties is imbued into them, though they are cooler and dumber and more than willing to take those things to their natural extremes.

Ska

Protagonist of my yet in-progress, unnamed visual novel I’m working on. She’s a sheltered Fae changeling with a death sentence hanging over her head, and a desperate desire to do as much stupid shit as possible before something ends up killing her. She has a bat and absolutely sucks at using it, and she’s hopelessly in love with both of her best friends. I love her deeply, and I hope I can share her with everyone soon.

Shadi

Absolute trash human being, possibly the worst woman in Sinnoh, lover of drama and shadow magic and also Dark Souls. What if an older sister was allowed to be as evil as her little heart desired? Well, that’s Shadi. Obviously there’s more to her, but I like making fun of her. I think she’s a funny character on her own right, except when she’s doing horrible shit to my other OCs, which is often. In any case, she’s one of my favorites to write for a reason.

Eatos

Eatos is... weird. They don’t have a set story, they kinda bounce around a few of my works being mysterious and off-putting and tricking people with smoke/illusion magic. They exist in the same universe as Ska, and in that world at least they’re a human with the power of a Fae artifact. I’ll get more of a chance to develop them someday.

8) (Really old drawing, I didn’t even have a tablet back then lol)

Shadi... 2!

Yeah I have a few characters named Shadi, I just really like the name. Anyway this particular Shadi may be my first actual OC, back when I was... fuck, I dunno, fourteen? I don’t know how relatable this is, but she’s the OC that made me think ‘I’m gonna write her story and become a famous fantasy author and write a bunch of books and-’ and you know the drill. That didn’t quite end up happening, but I don’t regret it much. I did write a book, but my creative goals right now are very different from back then, and I’m happy with that. One step at a time. Still, I care a lot about Shadi for basically getting me into writing fiction, and someday I hope I can write a story that’ll serve as thanks for her.

Cole

PC for another Pokemon tabletop campaign that unfortunately never progressed much. Which is a shame, because I like this guy, even if he’s so hard to relate to sometimes that I have trouble writing him. He’s nn ex League/army man who now lives peacefully in Pacifidlog alongside his Electrode called Maradona. He loves dogs to a comical degree (the only part about him I understand) and spends most of his time drinking beer, wishing he could drive fast vehicles and helping out Darya, his neighbor and aspiring contest star.

10)

Machi

Uh... yeah, we’re getting into the really old ones. I don’t remember much about Machi other than she was a hired killer and lived with a guy who did all her murder planning for her because the pay was good and he hated his job that much. It was from her story that Eatos came forth, so it’s a shame that they ended up being so much more interesting to me than Machi. I still like her, though.

11)

Tala

Listen, we all gotta have an edgy OC with a sword, and Tala was mine. Another PC for an even older Pokemon tabletop, maybe even THE oldest. I went around from loving him when I created him, to despising him a few years after and now kinda liking him again, just because he’s so ridiculous in his drama queen ways. He almost rivals Niss in that regard. But yeah, cool sword, tragic backstory, crabby personality, the works. What do you want from me? I loved that shit when I was a dumb kid.

Anyway... there are more of them, but these are the main ones I remember. Of course there’s also Reiko and Percy and characters like that, but they’re different kinds of OCs, and I already posted about them before.

No point to this post other than to have them on here for future reference.

#ocs #ocs masterlist #pokemon #child of thorns #art

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bluevalleybreakingnews · 2 years

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What would your dream arcs be for each character going blindly into Stargirl S3?

EVERY character? Uhhhhhhhhh okay give me a second (this will happen instantly for you but trust me this is taking me a Minute.) (Okay this is very messy and doesn’t go super in-depth with my ideas because I don’t want to write an essay for each character in one ask. Also, I wrote this while watching the Harley Quinn show with my friend so if this is a bit hard to follow, that’s why.)

Courtney- Under the tutelage of Sylvester, she’s manipulated into doing…something…that pits her against the JSA. The combination of her already butting heads with them plus the whole Camney situation makes things worse. She eventually is forced to work with them again to help out with the Helix Institute (or maybe she’ll be on the side of the Helix Institute?) She’ll snap out of it eventually, and have to fight Sylvester for control of the Staff.

Yolanda- After absolutely feuding with Cindy for months, she’s finally relieved of her duties when Cindy is forcibly removed from the group. Honestly Yolanda’s storyline is the hardest for me to pin down this season, so I don’t know much more than that.

Beth- After helping Rick rebuild the Hourglass, Beth continues to seek council from Rick while trying to escape her increasingly prying parents. She also spends a few weekends with McNider, who helps her out with the whole JSA schism problem while struggling with raising this new child, who he’s been absent for most of his life. Obviously something actually happens between her and Rick this season, but I don’t think we’ll get explicitly canon Hournite until the end of the season (I wish it’s closer to the midseason, though).

Rick- The Hourglass is fixed to be better than ever, but Rick begins abusing its power. While he spends more time with Beth (somehow, they’re already always together), he tries to withhold this truth from her, but the secret’s out when he begins to go on nightly solo missions picking fights with basically anyone even remotely on the JSA’s hit list. He also learns some awful truths about his father and Miraclo (which I’ll elaborate on later. Probably.)

Cindy- I feel like we’re all pretty sure that Cindy’s gonna be the person who gets framed in the murder mystery, so that’ll happen. The JSA will push her out temporarily, but she’ll presumably have to band back together with them for the big Mister Bones or Helix Institute altercation(s). Like Yolanda, I don’t have a lot of ideas about what else is really gonna happen with her this season, unless Dragon King somehow comes back?

Pat- Since Starman doesn’t have any interest in him, Pat mostly is hanging out with Crusher, which actually ends up INFURIATING Starman. He continues to help out Mike and Jakeem and acts more as their mentor than the new JSA (although let’s be real he wasn’t really the JSA mentor last season, either).

Barbara- Like Pat, Barbara hangs out a LOT with the Crocks, especially Paula. Since the Gambler’s back in town (potentially briefly), Barb acts as the JSA’s eyes on the inside. I would imagine she’ll at least loosely be involved with the Shade as well.

Mike- Mike works on building his own STRIPE suit but gets sidetracked when his birth mom comes back to town. He also gets in a mini-spat with Jakeem at some point but they make up basically in the next episode.

Jakeem- Jakeem actually is the JSA’s new MVP, utilizing the Thunderbolt incredibly well. However, due to how fractured the JSA is already, he and Mike stay OUT of the group’s business for the most part. They fight their own secondary villain or uncover some big conspiracy together, idk. They reunite with the main JSA towards the end of the season.

Starman- Fake Starman is 100% a clone with Starman’s memories sent in by Mister Bones to get easy access to the JSA and their super-powered Frenemies. He’s probably killed at some point because seriously, who’s actually watching this show for Starman? (Sorry Joel McHale.) He DOES get in plenty of fights with Pat along the way, though, and shakes up the status quo (like in that grocery store fight).

Cameron- Cameron will very quickly show his powers off to Courtney, as we see in the trailer, but Courtney won’t show him hers in return. He’ll eventually obviously find out about…well, everything, and the relationship is going to go to Hell in a hand basket. There will be some ice people/frost giant lore reveals and he’ll probably get thrown into the whole Mister Bones mess somehow?? Honestly beyond the basics that everyone and their mother is guessing I don’t know what would happen with Cameron because we know so little about him, but I’m begging for more Icepick (I’m trademarking that as the name for him and Cindy) and Icehour drama.

Shade- Something something Solomon Grundy resurrecting, something something fight with Starman. He’ll somehow be involved in the Cosmic Staff lore/backstory. There’s apparently some Future arc that he’s involved in, but I have zero theories about that as of right now.

Jennie- Jennie won’t pop in until the midseason, where she will report that she’s found Todd and needs some backup. Jennie, along with whoever is in the JSA at the time, have to fight Todd and whoever else Mister Bones has kidnapped/scrapped together. Tbh Jennie will probably leave after this because Jennie always does that 💀

If I didn’t mention your fave I’m sorry, I have no idea what their long-term story arcs are going to be (this pains me as the Crocks are my favorite characters and I really don’t have anything to say about them).

#ask cam #stargirl #dc stargirl #stargirl speculation #courtney whitmore #yolanda montez #beth chapel #rick tyler #cindy burman #barbara whitmore #pat dugan #mike dugan #jakeem williams #cameron mahkent #richard swift #jennifer lynn hayden

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kath-artic · 1 year

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i think i figured it out.

my mom asked me what it is that i look for in people (specifically in reference to partners but i also think this broadly applies to people i enjoy most) and i talked about the intersection of caring, TRUE understanding, and fascination (those last two tend to go pretty hand in hand). i’ve had partners who have cared but could never understand and who held no mystery for me and partners who so deeply understood and fascinated me but just didnt have the space to care as much as they did (care being the quality that makes the thing last on their end while fascination is what makes things last on my end), but what it is exactly about certain people that makes them fascinating to me is hard to pin down. this is partly because i think all people are inherently interesting and have interesting things about them, but dear god do they play up the parts that are unbearably boring (and that in and of itself is kind of fascinating to me). i suppose the specific kind of fascination i look for comes from people who are distinct and who live. my friends back home are like this. my one friend is a painter and lives with her boyfriend in his mom’s apartment and his mom is a fashion designer and will let my friend add on to paintings she made when she was in design school and we’ll get together with our friend who does parkour and works in landscaping and breaks into construction zones and our friend who works in the local deli and is working on his own fashion brand and we smoke and we watch someone play re4 and then go out bowling or get ramen and play with roadkill. my friends from oregon who throw the most oregon-ish house parties and wear vintage suits and listen to prairie home invasion and do archaeology and constantly wanna go on a pilgrimage to any sort of hill and move like fucking cartoon characters and write parody beat poetry are also like this. there is something about them and their commitment to an idea and their capacity to just fucking live and be messy that i don’t find in people here at university and it is exactly what i need from people. i dont care about perfect morality or purity--i want the mess. obviously i think we should all strive to be the best we can and i have my own commitments to ideology, but i hate the need to make everything clean and simple and easy to swallow. i hate this optimized, advertiser-friendly, marketable version of living. i need someone who really fucking struggled but damn it they’re trying. my ex’s favorite book was winesburg ohio and i read it on his birthday after we broke up, but the concept of grotesque that it identifies is exactly it. people who are so fucking committed to some truth (maybe multiple) that it makes them grotesque. a desire to be distinct while still wanting to be a part of something bigger, a desire to be loved, anything. for me, my struggle is with truth itself as something that i believe both does and doesnt exist at least as we understand it. we concern ourselves so much with factual or philosophical or ideological truth, but this is inaccessible to us and maybe isnt even there. perhaps there is truth in wholly sacrificing the self and living through pure sensation, but what’s the value in that if you cant share it? for me, its the human truth that matters. communication isnt perfect and that sensory truth gets lost in translation, but the way we try to capture it and connect with one another and understand is EVERYTHING. story, metaphor, symbol. its EVERYTHING. we have gone so far down the ladder of language that we can no longer agree with one another on what even exists, but if we climb then we can find commonality and meaning in metaphor. obviously its a complicated issue in the modern identity-driven era where we’ve built a society that begs us to kill anything we may have once regarded as god, but i think its necessary to have faith in something yknow? post-structuralism has points and is totally more suited for an era where fluidity is more necessary, but i wonder if its actually attainable. we think in structure. we think in archetypes. we try to abandon or ignore them but they dont go away (and dont get me started on modern retellings of myths that ignore symbolism and turn them into character driven narratives. the death of metaphor makes me want someone dead) and really i think we need to try to understand them again and learn that they themselves are not rigid things and that subverting an existing archetype is meaningful and that they allow for a richness in fluidity. ANYWAY. point being i like people who just are.

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celamoon · 3 years

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Warnings: the cast is in chaos, a kabedon </3

Pronouns used: They/Them

Summary: You're going to get confessed to and the crew screeches at Saiki to do something

‘Teruhashi asked me out today’ Saiki mentions. His friend chokes on their bento.

“sHE DID WHAT?!”

‘Not so loud,’ Saiki rolls his eyes. ‘I’m not sure how I should respond.’

“Accept her confession obviously??” They deadpan. “You pulled the most popular girl in school. Rejecting her would be setting yourself up for a death trap,”

‘It’s our final year,’

“Ok and?” Y/n mumbles. “You can teleport to visit her whenever you want. It’s not an issue for you,”

‘Y/n I swear,’

“And? Kusuo she’s in love with you, you think you have feelings for her, just take it and run. You two would have pretty kids,” Y/n hums to themselves.

‘Y/n.’

“What? That’s why you asked me right?” Saiki glares at Y/n before he rolls his eyes.

‘Not exactly,’

“Eh,” Y/n shrugs before packing up their lunch.

‘You’re not going to eat that?’

“You want it?” They slide the lunch to Saiki. “You can have the rest of it. I’m not that hungry today,”

“Yo Y/n!” Kaidou runs up to the table, Kuboyasu trailing closely behind. “Are you leaving?”

“Hey,” they smile. “Yeah, I have a couple other club activities to handle. Being a third year is hard.”

“Good luck then!” The two nod as Y/n rushes off.

Truth be told, they were in love with Saiki. Sure it hurt to have your heart broken by your best friend, but it hurt even more keeping it to themselves. Teruhashi was the prettiest girl in school, possibly even in the universe. The fact that she was pining after Saiki made it all the harder to ignore the feelings. Jealousy was bitter, it bubbles when you experience it.

“Ah Y/n!” Yumehara smiles. “Are you headed to the club?”

“Yeah,” they beam. “Were you headed to the cafeteria?”

“Mhm!”

“Ah I saw Kaidou and the others while eating there,” they point. “I’m still waiting for the confession alright? Good luck!”

“Y/n!” Yumehara screeches, her face pink with embarrassment. They rush off to the clubroom to fill out the paperwork, their laugher filling up the hallway.

Saiki on the other hand, was not being let off by his friends for once.

“Look Kusuo, you have to confess to them,” Aiura slams her tray onto the table and Saiki feels a migraine creeping up his back. “You may be my soulmate in some way, but they’re definitely your romantic soulmate.”

‘Aiura shut up.’

“Tits has a point you know,” Toritsuka hums in agreement. “You’re head over heels in love with them and you don’t even know it.”

“I think the feeling is mutual. I mean Saiki looks at Y/n as if they were his whole world, or a huge serving of coffee jelly. He also goes out of his way to make things more convenient for them by cutting into his own schedule so that Y/n’s would be smooth. Not to mention how Y/n also treats Saiki so well. I mean have you see them bring him coffee jelly every day for lunch? They also give you their cute bento to eat each day. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is-“ Aiura tapes Akechi’s mouth shut while grumbling.

“Yeah yeah we get it, Kusuo’s in love with Y/n,”

“Saiki has a crush on Y/n?” Kaidou’s ears perk up at the news.

“It’s totally obvious, I thought you knew by now,” Kuboyasu peers at the boy.

“Really?”

“Wait Saiki has a crush on Y/n? My pal’s growing so fast,” Nendou sobs. Saiki grimaces at everyone.

“So when are you going to confess?” Yumehara was practically vibrating in her seat. “You have to confess by the way, or else Saiko is going to steal Y/n away or something.”

“Or I might just do it myself,” Toritsuka wiggles his eyebrows and Saiki sharpens his napkin. “I’m SORRY!”

“I think my pal should take his own pace! But Yumehara has a point with Saiko. He said something about the rooftop the other day,”

“Rooftop?” The group raises a brow.

“Oh I heard he ordered construction up there for a picnic area or something…” Kuboyasu mentions.

“Picnic… PICNIC?!” The group screeches.

“HE’S PLANNING ON ASKING Y/N OUT ON THE ROOFTOP AFTER A ROMANTIC PICNIC!” Yumehara panics.

“Y/N IS LITERALLY WEAK FOR PICNICS THIS ISN’T GOOD!”

“THEY’RE GOING TO SAY YES-“

“KUSUO DO SOMETHING!”

Saiki rubs his forehead at his friends’ antics. He did have a crush on Y/n, but he wasn’t going to jeopardize their relationship as friends. Y/n never let their mind wander around Saiki anymore and they never talked to him about people they liked either.

Meanwhile with Y/n they had finished their paperwork for the clubs. They had ten minutes before the end of lunch would approach. They paused at the sight of the entire table in chaos. They heard their name mixed along with Saiko’s and Saiki’s, now they were curious on what was going on.

“Uh… I heard my name?”

The group freezes and Y/n swore they heard a pin drop in the background. “Uh… did something happen?”

“oH Y/n! Didn’t see you there!” Yumehara blabbers. “We totally weren’t talking about you! Nooo not at all!”

“Mhm! We were just discussing… about Saiki’s bento!”

“Yeah that!”

‘You know Y/n made this right?’ Saiki raises a brow.

“I mean it sounded like you guys were excited so I wanted to figure out what was going on,” Y/n smiles.

“Oh! We were just talking about how Saiko was building a picnic area on the rooftop!” Nendou speaks up and the rest of the group sends a glare his way.

“Speak of the devil,” Kaidou mumbles under his breath.

“Y/n! Have you heard of the new picnic area on the rooftop?” Saiko walks over and grasps both their hands.

“A-ah yes?”

“Would you like to go on a picnic with me after school today?” Y/n flushes red and pauses.

“OH HELL NO! Y/n I THOUGHT YOU HAD A CRUSH ON SOMEONE!” Aiura speaks up, slamming her hands on the table.

“A-ah well I have basically zero chance with him-“

“THAT’S NOT THE TEA-“ Toritsuka screeches.

Y/n blinks in confusion before Saiki cuts everyone off by dragging them away. The whole group was practically hollering at that point. How on earth had they not gotten in trouble yet-

“Y/n,” Saiki stops in the empty hallway.

“Y-yea?”

“I like y-“

“Saiki-san!” Teruhashi’s voice rings through the hallway and she smiles when she spots him. “There you are! I was wondering if you had an answer yet-“

The sight of Saiki and Y/n causes Teruhashi to do a double take.

“A-am I interrupting something?”

Saiki looks at Teruhashi before pushing Y/n against the wall lightly, trapping them in between the wall and him. Classic kabedon energy <3

‘Yeah, I was just about to remind Y/n here about how much I love them’ Saiki smiles.

Teruhashi flushes crimson, her mind spiralling into a mess. ‘How does Saiki have a crush on someone like Y/n? I’m much prettier than them! I’m a pretty perfect girl! Is Saiki perhaps not into perfect people? No, there has to be a reason. What if Y/n is actually blackmailing him? That has to be it, I’ll save him!’

Saiki frowns at Teruhashi’s thoughts. He pulls Y/n’s hand into his own and drags them off again. Teruhashi’s thoughts were suffocating to him.

“Did she think… something?” They mentally reprimanded themselves for such an awkward comment.

‘Yeah, but more so that I could get you to myself,’ Saiki smiles. ‘Go out with me?’

“…yes!!”

Bonus:

“SHH THEY’RE GONNA HEAR YOU” Yumehara hisses.

“Then stop moving!” Kaidou whispers.

“Wait let me get the photos!” Aiura clicks and her phone rings, the group crashes down immediately after. “Shit.”

The two turn their heads to find their entire friend group huddled behind a wall, camera in hand, Kaidou sitting on (the now fallen) Kuboyasu’s shoulders, and Toritsuka absolutely squashed. I mean sure disastrous life and all, but seriously, this felt worse than disastrous somehow. and for some reason, Y/n didn't seem to mind.

#saiki x reader #saiki k x reader #MENTION OF SAIKO-#Kusuo x reader #saiki k #saiki kusuo #kusuo saiki #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki no psi nan #I don't remember what I was on while writing this I think it was sleep deprivation but anyways

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pillage-and-lute · 3 years

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Prompt: fake realtionahip/marriage, whoever you like!

Ooohoho! This has been chilling as a draft for ages, now I have completed it. *mildly evil laughter*

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The funny thing about Geralt, Jaskier thought as he did up the buttons on his best doublet, was that he really didn’t lie. He said things that weren’t true, but they were usually things he believed, or thought he believed because he was tired or grumpy. Sometimes he told half truths. He didn’t lie though.

It wasn’t even as if he didn’t have a poker face, Geralt’s face was all poker face, he just hated lying. Normally it wasn’t an issue, but tonight, Jaskier reflected, it wouldn’t be ideal.

Jaskier had heard through some whispered words at a pub that a bunch of Nilfgaardian nobles were having a gala, and the temptation of finding out what political secrets they could was two strong for their odd little family. So Geralt and Jaskier were going undercover.

There had been quite a bit of debate about that. Jaskier was obviously going. He’d grown his hair longer and had a bit of scruff going, and to be frank, all a bard really needed to disguise themselves was a new name, people saw the clothing and heard the music, but rarely remembered the face. Yennefer would have been the ideal partner in crime except for a crucial thing.

When Yennefer had been changed by magic, her eyes had been left the same. Somehow, the transformation had solidified them, and no spell would change them. Her eyes were too distinctive, and so she would stay behind with Ciri. That left Geralt, and since the ball was only for the nobility, he would be the fiance of Julian Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove.

Damn.

See, Geralt didn’t lie, and that was bad enough. Jaskier wouldn’t be able to rely on Yennefer’s in-depth knowledge of the nobility and that was worse. Worst of all though, was the fact that Jaskier would have to spend a night full of wine and dancing pretending to be in love with, and engaged to, Geralt. Who he loved.

And who had, not three months ago, blamed Jaskier for every bad thing in life.

Since then Geralt had caught up with him half-way down the mountain and there had been some grumbled words about how Jaskier ‘wasn’t actually, exactly, a total curse’. Not a glowing review, but then Cintra had fallen, and they had Cirilla and they’d found a wounded Yennefer and it had all gotten so very busy.

Jaskier cast a last look in the mirror as the door to his room creaked open. He turned, expecting Geralt, but it was Yennefer.

“I suppose,” she said, eyeing him. “That this is as good as you get.” It could have been said cruelly. A year ago it would have been. Now, though, the words were fond.

“I like the kohl, it goes well with the wrinkles at your eyes,” she winked. He smiled. There were no more wrinkles now than had been twenty years ago, and they both knew it.

“I wasn’t sure about the eyeliner,” Jaskier said, trying to sound haughty. “Overdramatic eye looks are your thing.”

Yennefer chuckled and sat on the end of the bed. “A tiny smudge of eyeliner is hardly overdramatic.” She studied him approvingly, then looked at him. Her expression was frighteningly soft.

“Have you told him that you love him?”

“Never,” Jaskier said, fiving his cravat in the mirror.

“Why ever not?”

“It would only be the mountain all over again,” Jaskier sighed. “I tried, you know. I spent years trying, and then on the mountain, I thought I was being clear...”

“What did you say?”

“I asked him to leave it all, just for a little while, with me. I thought we could go to the coast.”

“The coast,” Yennefer said from her spot on the bed. “As in Lettenhove? You wanted to show him where you grew up?”

“Partially. I could explain the immortality business easier if he met my sister, but mostly I just thought it would be peaceful.”

Yennefer snorted. “With Geralt? Peaceful? He’d spend the whole time fighting drowners and telling you not to write about mermaids because they’re vicious.”

Jaskier smiled wanly. “That’s pretty peaceful for him.”

“But he said no?”

“He didn’t say anything,” Jaskier said. “Then he, well, you know, he spent the night in your tent.”

“Ah,” Yennefer said. “For what it’s worth, I hate that it happened too.”

“He doesn’t though!” Jaskier cried, whirling around to face her. “He wants it to happen again! And you! You don’t want him but he wants you while I want him!” The frustration of the whole situation and nerves for what was to come were overwhelming. “And you’re here, trying to help me,” he said more quietly. “Why?”

“Because I like you,” Yennefer said, simply, standing from the bed. “And I like him. I also never, ever want to kiss him again. The djinn is sitting, somewhere in my chest, telling me I love him, but the feeling is...sick. It feels like love, as well as I can remember, but it’s poisoned and twisted and I want no part in it.”

Her purple eyes pinned Jaskier to the floor.

“And that poison pales in comparison to how much you love him. He deserves that.”

She swept out the door, tossing a “Sort it out,” over her shoulder.

Well.

The next knock at the door was Geralt, Ciri in tow. Jaskier hoped the witcher hadn’t heard any part of his and Yennefer’s conversation, but he suspected that no one overheard conversations that Yen didn’t want them too.

“Dandelion!” Ciri said, leaping at him and using the name she’d first met him under. “You look nice! Like a prince in one of your stories!”

Jaskier blushed and thanked her quietly as he scooped her up and tossed her, laughing, onto the bed.

He looked at Geralt for his opinion.

Oh he looked so good too. Yennefer had charmed him so that anyone else would see a different man in Geralt’s place, but to Jaskier he looked just the same. But he was wearing white.

A white chemise, the collar and cuffs with fine red embroidery, with a cream colored cape, half length so it fell just to Geralt’s hips. It was embroidered too, green and pink and so many other colors, despite being overall still mostly cream. The pants were the same creamy fabric with a stripe down each side. Dark boots and a wide, decorative, dark belt completed the look.

“Wow,” Jaskier said.

“Rivian traditional clothing,” Geralt muttered.

“I thought you’d hardly actually been to Rivia,” Jaskier said,.It was a better choice than the other thoughts in his head, which were half-formed screams about how absolutely skin tight those pants were.

“I haven’t been, but my...character is.”

“Right,” Jaskier said, dragging his eyes above Geralt’s shoulders. “My fiance, Ludomir of Rivia.”

Geralt said nothing.

Jaskier kicked himself for mentioning the fiance thing.

“We should go,” he said.

And they went.

The lord’s castle was small, as castles go, and the guards at the gate didn’t even bother to check their invitations. With all the other lords and ladies streaming past, no one would guess that the pair were out of place. Jaskier and Geralt enterred the ballroom and Jaskier felt his stomach drop straight through to his shoes.

The walls were positively lined with Nilfgaardian soldiers. Geralt’s shoulders stiffened too, but they steered themselves to a feast table as if nothing was wrong.

It took them almost a full circle of the tables to find the two little cards for ‘Viscount de Lettenhove’ and ‘Guest’. Getting onto the guest list had been laughably easy, and Jaskier just sent up a silent prayer of thanks that the stupid title was finally useful for something.

They sat in their places and guests populated the seats around them. There was a lady next to Jaskier who already smelled of the strongly alcoholic sherry that was being served. Her hair, probably a wig towered, and was strung all over with so many pearls and little tiny golden ornaments that when she stepped outside she must surely be attacked by magpies.

“My lady,” Jaskier said, as chivalrous as he could around a mouthful of her rose perfume. “I’m afraid we haven’t had a chance to be introduced.”

“Oooh,” she giggled, “You’re sweet, I’m Dame Au’Vigne, and I can see by your card that you are the Viscount de Lettenhove, I knew your father.”

Yes, Jaskier thought. I remember, he turned down your proposal. Jaskier had been a lad then, barely eight years old, but he remembered through a child’s eyes a mountain of lace and perfume who had offered to marry his father while actually at his mother’s funeral.

“It’s a pleasure,” he said. Heinous bitch, he thought. He remembered rumors too, which are always a bard’s stock and trade, that Dame Au’Vigne’s husbands were always wealthy, usually handsome, and all of them had shockingly short lifespans.

Rumor also had it that she was backing Nilfgaard financially and had been playing the shipping stock with insider knowledge of their movements. A very good person to be seated next to tonight.

“May I introduce my fiance, Ludomir of Rivia,” Jaskier said, gesturing to Geralt. Geralt nodded and hummed, somewhat politely.

“How handsome,” Dame Au’Vigne stage whispered. “Where ever did you find him?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Jaskier said.

The lord of the castle stood up and gave a droning speech. It was full of euphemisms about ‘upholding standards’ and ‘fostering strong relations’ that boiled down to ‘I’m an untrustworthy bastard who believes that allowing the deaths of my people en masse is fine so long as I make money.’ It was depressing, too, as Jaskier looked around the ballroom to see so many people nodding in agreement.

Traitors and bastards, the lot of them.

Geralt’s face hadn’t changed even an inch.

“So,” Dame Au’Vigne said as the appetizer course was served. “You two aren’t exactly in a honeymoon phase, are you?”

And she was right, for a couple, newly engaged, Jaskier and Geralt hadn’t acted the part yet at all.

“I’m afraid,” Jaskier said, inventing wildly. “That we’re both just a touch nervous, the engagement is so new, you see, and this is our first event,” he took Geralt’s hand, above the table, so Dame Au’Vigne could see. “As a couple.”

“Oh how sweet,” she said airily. “You know, they’ll have dancing between the courses, it’ll be a great way for you to wet your social feet. Sir Erdin and the lady in the lavender dress,” she pointed across the ballroom. “They’re newly engaged as well.” She lowered her voice.

“Sir Erdin is very supportive of the cause, word has it he’s in with the very inner circle,” Dame Au’Vigne giggled, as if being in the inner circle of a murderous group of intruders was as delightful as a recent engagement.

“How interesting!” Jaskier said, affecting a jealous and impressed tone. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Geralt’s eyebrow twitch, the way it did when he was listening hard.

“Oh yes,” Dame Au’Vigne said. “And Lord Snapcase, in the corner, he...” and she went on, was the marvelous thing, she couldn’t seem to help herself but gossip about everyone. And she had all these details about how they were helping ‘the cause’. Destiny must have finally decided to throw Jaskier and Geralt a bone.

Then the appetizer course was finished and Jaskier felt much less lucky. Dame Au’Vigne was ushering him and Geralt out of their seats to dance. It wasn’t one of the quick, hopping around, switching partners dances either. No, the band seemed insistent on only slow, romantic music.

Awkwardly, Geralt slid one large hand around Jaskier’s waist and they turned in slow circles on the dance floor. The witcher’s face looked like a thunderclap.

“Try and look like you’re having fun, darling,” Jaskier said. Please don’t look at me as though holding me is torture, his inner self begged.

“Hmmm,” Geralt said. Jaskier leaned in.

“Really dear heart,” he leaned in even closer, lips almost touching Geralt’s ear. “People are going to suspect something,” he said in the barest of whispers.

“Let them,” Geralt hissed back in the same fashion. “We’ve got the information, we can leave.”

Jaskier, keeping up appearances, tossed his head back and let out a delighted shriek of laughter, as if Geralt had just told him a joke or, perhaps, made a wonderfully indecent proposal.

“Later, perhaps,” he said, stage-whispering for the sake of those around them. Leaning in again he whispered for real, “We can’t leave until the party’s over, no one else will, they’d send some of those soldiers after us for sure.”

The music changed, and Geralt and Jaskier’s slow circles changed speed with it.

Geralt hissed in his ear again, “I don’t see why I had to be your,” this close Jaskier could see Geralt’s jaw working with distaste. “Lover.”

“Fiance,” Jaskier said, trying not to let his heart sink. It couldn’t possibly go any lower. “There’s a difference.”

They said no more to each other, and after the second dance, declined the third to sit back at their seats and await the arrival of the soup course.

The man sat beside Geralt was some old military man, mostly mustache and the rest of him was a rather musty and very old fashioned uniform. It had gold braid and a colonel’s insignia. The hat that sat next to his chair had a plume.

He leaned over to Geralt and said, rather loudly, in a voice that implied tone deafness, to both volume and social situations, “Just marrying him for the money, eh?”

People to both sides of Jaskier and Geralt looked around. Dame Au’Vigne looked at them askance.

“Hmmm,” Geralt said. It was a negative answer to the colonel’s question, but the man didn’t take it as such.

“Often is the way,” the man nearly bellowed. “My missus hated me right up to the day she died.”

Jaskier curled in on himself. The role of Viscount wasn’t a big one, mostly administrative and, these days, completed by his sister Rowena, who was better at sitting behind a desk. Still, argued a battered part of his long ago but still proper upbringing. The name of Pankratz was being dragged through the mud. Lots of these people would know the name too, these sour, vindictive, unpleasant, murderous people. And they’d know the gossip, would have taken part in the gossip about ‘Young Julian running off to be a bard,’ (this generally said with the same tone as is usually leant to slave trader) and how ‘he’ll never find a good marriage now,’ how he was ‘a disgrace to the name.’

And here was their long awaited confirmation. Jaskier-Julian, couldn’t find a good marriage, was being wed only for his money. Of course, more than half the pairings here were only in it for the money, but to have it said, so loudly too, and before the wedding had even happened, it was social condemnation.

Jaskier looked down at the table cloth, his face hot. He’d faced social condemnation before, of course, he’d survive. What hurt was that Geralt wasn’t really protesting, Geralt couldn’t even pretend to like Jaskier, not for a single evening. Twenty years he’d done a good enough job of acting to convince even Jaskier, mostly, apart from the punches and the insults and...maybe Jaskier had been a little blind to the truth but still.

It was ruining their cover though, so he protested quietly. “Not just for the money,” he said, patting Geralt’s hand where one fist wrapped around his goblet. “My fiance is just shy, that’s all.”

The damage was already done, but the old colonel hiccupped. “Well lad,” he said, giving Geralt a slap on the back. “This ale’s pretty good so drink up. Got me through three years of happy marriage, strong ale did.” The man took a slug of his own drink. “And fourty seven more unhappy years.” He guffawed hugely and unpleasantly, little drops of ale flinging from his mustache.

Wherever the soul of the unpleasant man’s dead wife was, Jaskier felt sure she was happy to be away from this miserable old drunk.

Geralt, however, was looking at Jaskier. Their eyes met. Jaskier knew he probably looked as hunted as he felt, and his cheeks were probably still burning from the embarassment. Still, it seemed as though Geralt was about to say something. His golden eyes were full of emotion, but Jaskier couldn’t parse out what kind.

Whatever kind it was, it caused Geralt to take the colonel’s advice and drink like there was no tomorrow.

Great. Jaskier had driven his companion to drinking.

He felt a little like doing so himself.

The soup course was good, hot and savory, but underspiced. Geralt slurped it up gratefully. Jaskier knew that rich food was usually too much for his senses if it was spiced to Jaskier’s taste.

More dancing. Jaskier didn’t stand, at first, assuming that Geralt would rather sit and drink more. There were some snickers as people judged him. Geralt stood though, and he offered a hand and led Jaskier to the dance floor.

“You need to act drunk,” Jaskier whispered in his ear. “If you were a normal man you would be.”

“I am acting,” Geralt rumbled.

“You’re very steady for a drunk,” Jaskier sniffed.

“You said I was shy, now I’m less shy,” Geralt whispered. “And I’ve been drinking. So...drunk.” It was torture, being held like this, having that voice in Jaskier’s ear. That hand, so warm cupping his own. He wanted to cry.

A couple whirled past them. It was the Dame Au’Vigne, gossiping to some new dance partner. A snippet of her words caught them.

“-de Lettenhove. Entirely loveless of course. Unlovable, his father said once, of course as a bard-” then the tide of conversation and other dancers stole the rest of the words.

Jaskier sagged. His father hadn’t been a nice man, and unlovable wasn’t the worst of what he’d been called in his life, but now, with Geralt so close and so disgusted by the prospect...well, it hit a little close to home.

“Laugh,” Geralt whispered in his ear.

“What?” Jaskier hissed.

“Like before, laugh like before, but...more so. Pretend I said a dirty joke.”

Jaskier did, heads turned as he pretended to laugh, half scandalized and half delighted at something Geralt said.

Geralt even chuckled along with him. Then his hand crept down Jaskier’s back to his hip. It wasn’t dirty. It was just so,so spine tinglingly close to dirty.

It was almost worse. If Geralt had gripped his ass that would have been bad, but this, Jaskier was left to speculate. He had a very active imagination. The couples next to them were giggling and tittering, scandalized, but not too much, at the pair.

They danced all three dances. During the second dance Geralt spun Jaskier out and then back in flashily, dipping him over one arm like a dainty maiden. Jaskier, who was no dainty maiden, knew the strength that elaborate dip must have taken and his head spun. The third dance was slow, and once again they simply held one another and turned in slow circles. Except Geralt pressed their cheeks together in a way that was so intimate that Jaskier finally gave in. Just tonight he had Geralt, all of him, his attention, his warmth.

There was only so much a bard could take, and Jaskier gave in to the fantasy.

“I wonder how Yennefer is,” Geralt whispered. “And Ciri.”

It was like having cold water poured all over him. Jaskier’s fantasy shattered as soon as it had formed. Of course Geralt wasn’t enjoying this, of course his mind was elsewhere. He had a beautiful sorceress to think of, even if they weren’t sleeping together. Geralt and Yennefer and Ciri made the perfect, happy family. Where did Jaskier fit in to that?

He pulled back a little, already missing the warmth of Geralt’s cheek against his own. They finished the dance stiffly.

Back at the table, squished between Dame Au’Vigne and the colonel, the main course was awful. Jaskier couldn’t judge it on the food, which he barely tasted. Dame Au’Vigne and the colonel, however, had apparently come to the conclusion that Geralt or, Ludomir, rather, was marrying Jaskier for the money and the sex. They tittered, loudly and drunkely, to those around, and Geralt leaned in.

“Surely we can leave after this course,” he whispered.

Desperate to be rid of the charade, Jaskier thought. To not have to be engaged to me. “Can’t,” he whispered. “Have to stay for dessert and more dancing, else it looks suspect.”

“Hmmm.” It was a displeased hum.

“And, there will be small talk, with dessert. You need to say something, people will think you’re mute.”

“You two twitter into one another’s ears all the time,” Dame Au’Vigne said loudly. She was fully drunk off the sherry and very loud. “But not one kiss,” she lowered her voice, as if trying to be discreet. It didn’t work. “Is it truly as loveless as they say? I know you aren’t waiting until marriage.”

As who say? Jaskier thought. The only person quite that invested seems to be you.

“Not loveless,” Jaskier said. It seemed weak even to his ears.

“Surely you’ll join the dancing again, then,” Dame Au’Vigne said.

“No,” Jaskier said, fiddling with his napkin. “I’m feeling quite too full to dance, ate too fast, I’m afraid.” He hoped she was too drunk to notice he’d picked at his plate. It seemed she was.

“Lovely little veranda, get some air there,” said a man who, according to Dame Au’Vigne, was shipping weapons to Nilfgaard behind the backs of multiple heads of state.

Jaskier nodded,stood, bowed, and made his escape. He sighed, but wasn’t surprised to find that Geralt had followed along behind. Of course he wanted to escape the party too, but Jaskier wanted to escape...him.

To his shame and surprise, he found tears in his eyes. The pressure of sitting in a room chock full of people who wanted to kill him, combined with the fact that every last one of them reminded him of being bullied in school, and add to that that he was supposed to be fake engaged to Geralt...it was too much. Fake engaged and even in their fake engagement Geralt didn’t like Jaskier.

Jaskier’s rational brain knew that Geralt did like him, mostly. He just didn’t love him.

Jaskier leaned his elbows on the railing, overlooking some moonlit gardens, and felt the tears roll down his face.

“They think I don’t like you,” Geralt said quietly.

“Yes,” Jaskier said. He knew Geralt could smell the salt of his tears or whatever, but still turned his face away so the witcher couldn’t see.

“I danced with you though.”

Jaskier chuckled wetly. “Nobles dance with people they hate all the time.”

Geralt was quiet for a minute then, very gently, he took one of Jaskier’s hands. “I don’t hate you.”

It was too much, Jaskier started crying in earnest, sobbing.

“C’mon, Jaskier, I like you. A lot.” Geralt was, for him, panicking clearly. Jaskier almost smiled. He was so bad at dealing with other people’s emotion. And his own.

“You’re my friend,” Geralt said, a little stuntedly. “You know I’m not a good liar.”

Too much. Twenty-two years and he finally said the word ‘friends’ and Jaskier wanted more. He whipped around to face Geralt.

“Tell me the truth, then, Geralt. Tell me you love me, it doesn’t have to be the truth for forever, but can you love me just for a night? Can you make it the truth for tonight?” Jaskier’s tears were ugly and blobby and drying up fast but he continued.

“Because I’ve loved you so long I don’t know any other truth,” He leaned forward and planted his forhead on Geralt’s collarbone and sniffled through the last of his tears, curling one, shaking fist into Geralt’s lovely pale cape as he cried. “Just this one night, Geralt, love me back.”

He hadn’t meant to say any of it, was half expecting Geralt to toss him off the low balcony into the bushes below.

Instead Jaskier was lifted by two strong arms and sat down on the railing. Warm, delightful lips pressed against his and suddenly he was being kissed within an inch of his life.

“The truth, you want,” Geralt said, pulling back and panting. “Is the only one I can give. I can’t pretend to love you.” Here Geralt looked into Jaskier’s eyes, like being struck by lightning. “I only love you, no pretending, I swear it.”

“But-” Jaskier was cut off.

“They think I don’t like you,” Geralt said, furiously. “I think you think I don’t like you, Jaskier I like you, I love you so much I don’t know what to do and I’m...I’m not good with words. Or emotions.” Geralt’s shoulders dropped a little. “I just am, and the way I am is... The way I am is better with you.”

Geralt’s face screwed up with anguish. “And I’m the reason you think I don’t like you, it’s my fault and that feels so...so bad. Yennefer’s been working with me on the feelings thing and always says ‘bad isn’t a feeling’ but I can’t tell you what all the feeling is.”

Jaskier was staring, mouth open, as frustrated, stilted, fumbling words left Geralt’s mouth. They sounded angry, but only at himself. Geralt was looking up at him as if seeking benediction.

“Tell me you love me again,” Jaskier said.

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

Jaskier giggled as Geralt lifted him and spun him around before tucking him in close and kissing his forehead.

“I,” he said.

A kiss to Jaskier’s nose. “Love.”

A deep, breathtaking kiss to his lips. “You.”

There was nothing left for Jaskier to say except, “wow.”

Geralt smiled, that lovely warm little smile he saved for special times and offered his arm to Jaskier. “Shall we?”

They paraded back into the ballroom and danced the final dance of the set. Geralt whispered a suggestion of what he’d really like for dessert and this time Jaskier didn’t have to fake the scandalized giggle. “Back home, perhaps,” he said.

Dessert meant more conversation with Dame Au’Vigne, which was of course unbearable. There was plenty of Champagne though, which was pretty good, and the bubbles seemed to fill Jaskier all the way up. He took pleasure in picturing the downfall of all these horrible people when Nilfgaard was finally defeated for good.

He especially enjoyed sticking it to her gossip when he fed Geralt a strawberry with cream from his fingertips and recieved a kiss in thanks. Geralt was clearly enjoying himself too. He had a sweet tooth, and that certainly helped, but his hand that never left Jaskier’s under the table was a much better clue.

They walked back to the inn, flushed and warm in the cool night air, bidding farewell to the other drunken lords and ladies all filtering to finer inns or grand coaches.

Then they were alone on their path back, Geralt’s witcher senses confirming their isolation. Then, Geralt, who never told lies, whispered sweet nothings into Jaskier’s ear the entire way home. Jaskier believed every single one.

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It’s done, this one’s quite long and I loved writing it. Geralt is useless at playing pretend, but very good at loving Jaskier in his own way. I imagine his emotion lessons with Yennefer must have been rather intense.

#the witcher #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #fake dating #getting together #fluff #fluff and angst #tiny amount of horniness #read with caution

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colorseeingchick · 4 years

Text

Special Cuddles Headcanons (Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki)

All Cuddles are special!!! But some are more special than other if there’s a bigger emotional link behind it, so here are some headcanons for those types of situations hehe

A/N: Headcanon writing perplexes me for NO REASON so I’m so sorry if this is not how headcanons work OAISDNFOWI

Warnings: slightly suggestive? Aged up regardless (they’re all pro heroes)

Midoriya Izuku

Cuddling with Deku is by far the most frequent form of physical affection you guys share.

Usually, you would be tucked up against him, with his arm around your waist while you who lean against his shoulder.

And you two would usually read a manga, scan his journal, or just watch videos together like that.

It was a major source of comfort for both of you.

But sometimes you wanted to be closer to him.

If you both came back from training or patrolling and were exhausted, you would usually just want to watch anime together and just relax.

Deku would probably be on the couch before you, waiting for you.

And seeing him itself just made you put your guard down a bit.

When you would arrive you would pull his legs apart (which would, of course, get him really flustered).

“Wha-what are you doing Y/N??”

But you were too tired to actually mess with him, so you just turn yourself around and plop down between his legs.

Your back would be resting against his chest.

And you would tug his arms around your stomach so he could hold you tight.

Once he realized you weren’t trying to do anything more than cuddle, he would settle into the hold.

You would stroke his arms that were wrapped around your stomach or use a thumb to stroke his knees that were on either side of you.

He would rub your belly on instinct and would press kisses onto the side of your head and face.

He would also whisper sweet nothings and compliments into your ear.

“You’re so cute, Y/N.” “You work so hard, baby. You deserve to rest.” “Is this comfortable? Do you want me to adjust?”

In your relationship, Deku always wanted to protect you. But just as much as he wanted to keep you safe, you wanted to keep him safe as well.

He definitely fell in love with you when he saw how strong and resilient you were.

But that also came through in your relationship at times, in that you tried to stay strong even when you weren’t feeling like it.

So when you would cuddle with him like this, where you were entirely wrapped up in his arms and completely vulnerable, and he could feel your breathing-

This was his favorite thing in the world. And his favorite way to be with you.

You would just stay like that for hours, eventually falling asleep in his arms.

BONUS: sometimes you would wake up and he would still be awake watching TV holding you.

And sometimes, if you were really feeling it, you would rub up against him “in your sleep” and watch him stutter, blush, and feel his grip around you tighten (the poor baby was worried you were doing this entirely subconsciously and feared waking you up if his body *reacted*).

Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou loved being the dominant one in the relationship, constantly being the one showering you in affection.

When you two cuddle on the bed, he’d always pull you onto his chest so he could hold you. And you two would talk or fall asleep like that.

Or at least, that’s the image he would usually want to project.

The truth, though- is that he’s one big cuddly baby.

Bakugou will NEVER admit it. He also refuses to initiate it.

But you could also read him well enough to know what he wanted/needed.

If he came back from his agency really frustrated, or even worse sad, you knew what to do.

You would sit up in bed, and when he came through the door, you would beckon him to come to you.

He would then try and sit next to you, but you would pull him so he would be directly in front of you.

“What.” He would stare you down with an intimidating glare.

But you see how much your boyfriend was hurting inside.

“Come here.”

You pull him forward by his face and kiss him, stroking his cheeks.

At this point, he would let all his sadness out.

You would pull him down onto you, so that he was on top of you this time.

His arms would happily encase you and your legs would wrap around his

He would nestle into your chest (if you have boobs, he IS using them as a pillow)

You would rub the back of his neck and run your fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp as you did so

You could see the goosebumps rise up on his neck and arms.

And you lightly run your fingers over the sides of his arms so it tingled and made the chills worse.

Extra points if you can get him to shudder.

He would glare up at you, but his face would still be buried in your chest so it would just be cute.

After that, you would close your eyes too, letting one hand rub his head while the other traces “I love you” onto his back, passively humming.

With this much soft affection, this man would knock OUT.

You were his safe space and biggest source of comfort.

And no matter ‘weak’ or soft he may have been on bad days, you would never make fun of him for it.

Even better, you wouldn’t mention it. You knew that it would only make him defensive or insecure.

So those moments of pure vulnerability and intimacy would continue on as a shared secret between you two, always present when you looked at each other, love shining in the back of your eyes.

BONUS: Bakugou would go an extra mile to hug you tighter, tease you more, and cover you in bites and kisses the nights after he received special cuddles from you.

Todoroki Shoto

Cuddling for Todoroki was always a special occasion.

You guys would cuddle on the weekends usually, if you guys could somehow get a day to spend at home (Todoroki half-lived at the agency).

During this time, you guys would take turns being the big spoon.

Todoroki liked it. He loved it, actually.

Physical affection made his heart flutter, and the warmth he got from you made even his own flames pale in comparison.

He wanted to be closer to you in any way possible, but he was also really sensitive to physical contact.

It could get really overwhelming because of his past experiences.

So he would be really nervous to ask you to initiate it, cuz he also didn’t know how he would react to it.

Until one day he did, while you guys were cuddling, him spooning you.

“Y/N.” “Yes?” “Can I be closer to you?” “Like, physically?” “Yes.”

You giggle, because it was such a Todoroki question.

It was innocent, obvious, yet genuine. Everything you loved about him.

You also were aware of his sensitivity, so you knew that pinning him down or pulling him onto you would probably give him a heart attack, so you proceed with that in mind.

Loosening his grip around your body, you wiggle your way around so you are now facing him.

He looks at your eyes wide and unmoving.

You then wrap your arms around his body slowly, so he could process what you were doing.

Closing your eyes, you softly pull yourself forward, your forehead pressed against Todoroki's.

When his hands grip your waist and lower back to pull you fully against his body, you open your eyes to stare directly into his hetero-chromatic ones.

You think it's wonderful until you realize-

"Shoto, why are you not… breathing??"

This boy had been holding his breath, and you could tell because his chest wasn't moving against yours, but his heartbeat was aggressively hammering against his rib cage so hard you could feel it.

"I was worried I would be breathing on your face and it would cause you discomfort and make you let go."

That was the last thing he wanted right now. This was everything he craved.

It was like a hug, but better. your face was level with his now. Your body was entirely pressed up against his, both of you were pulling each other close, and your legs were intertwined. Best of all, he got to stare into your pretty, pretty eyes.

But somehow, it wasn't invasive. Probably because of the way you went about initiating it. It was heaven to him. He didn’t want it to end.

You giggle once more before saying, "I don't mind you breathing on me, Shoto. I'm more concerned about how tight you can hold me-"

As a response, he squeezes your waist, pulling you tightly against his abdomen.

"-so just relax, love. I'm not going anywhere."

You two would then proceed to talk, sleep, or stare into each other's eyes, just like that.

BONUS: This way of cuddling became more frequent for you two as Todoroki got more acclimated to the contact, but Todoroki soon realized you wouldn’t want to cuddle that way for too long because it got really hot.

So one day, before he laid down next to you, he stripped his shirt off- and you obviously freak out.

He had an undershirt on, but STILL- AHHHHHHHH

“Just so my clothes don’t make it hotter while we cuddle.” He said it so nonchalantly and clearly didn’t understand why you were freaking out. Oh Todoroki.

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arhvste · 3 years

Text

❝ kuroo tetsurō - tetsuhoe ❞

in which kuroo is confused by the ‘playboy’ image pinned onto him after a practice match at fukurodani much to you, his long term girlfriends, amusement

tetsu week masterlist

“did you see the captains for nekoma’s team yesterday?”

“oh their tall middle blocker with the bed hair? he was something else!”

“i just know he’s got girls crawling all over him back at nekoma. i think i’m gonna transfer schools!”

your eyebrow raised in amusement towards the girls nearby who were mindlessly babbling on about a particular rooster headed captain you were familiar with.

the high praise he was recovering in your classroom would certainly give him an ego boost, realistically though, these girls couldn’t have been further from the truth; you were partially thankful for that.

akaashi took notice of your entertained expression as he took his seat beside you in the unsupervised classroom.

“ah,” he clicked his tongue gesturing towards the squealing girls. “they’re talking about kuroo-san when they had the practice match here yesterday.”

you nodded towards your own school teams setter and smiled. “listen to them.” you hummed as akaashi leaned a little further on his desk facing towards the small group of girls nearby.

“what was his name again?”

“i’m not sure, i never got the chance to go down and talk to him!”

“whatever his name is i know it’s one i want to scream”

“you’re so bad!”

akaashi cringed at the rawness of these girls vocabulary. so they thought kuroo was hot? why they couldn’t just word it like that and leave it at that, akaashi would never know. he turned to face you as you pulled your phone out to discreetly record the girls fussing over your boyfriend.

“y/n, isn’t that a little... intrusive?” akaashi quirked an eyebrow towards your smug expression.

“this isn’t an act of jealousy but rather amusement. besides, aren’t they being a little intrusive speaking about my boyfriend like this? tetsu’s gonna shit himself when he hears this, they’ve mischaracterised him completely.”

akaashi nodded before casting his gaze back over to the girls before looking back towards you while you were texting the very boy the girls in your classroom were raving about.

“aren’t you bothered by it?”

you laughed and shook your head firmly.

“no no! not at all, i can’t blame them for being head over heels for him i mean, i fell for him too didn’t i?”

“by some miracle.” akaashi shot back to which you scoffed before turning your attention back down to the device in your hands.

you made quick work of sending the video to your boyfriend and captioning ‘can i tell the girls your name? they want to know for when you have them scream it’ before shutting your phone off and going back to casual conversation with akaashi before the teacher entered and the class simmered down for work.

back at nekoma, kuroo was currently scrolling through the multiple automated notifications piling up on his phone until your name caught his eye. quickly tapping the screen to open snapchat, kuroo smiled softly at the sight of the little purple square under ‘pretty one <3’.

he wasted no time in pressing down on the video to watch whatever it was you had sent him. turning up the volume, kuroo’s eyes widened a little at the caption you had typed out to go along with the video.

“scream it?” he muttered quietly to himself but not quietly enough to miss kenma’s ears.

“what are you watching?” the bleached haired setter asked bordly.

“y/n’s sent me a video but i don’t really understand.” he mumbled pressing down on the outlines square to get the video to replay once more for kenma to see what he was talking about.

kenma’s face twisted into one of disgust as he feigned a gag to kuroo’s offence.

“is it that unbelievable others find me attractive?”

“it’s not even believable y/n finds you attractive yet alone other girls.”

“you wound me.”

“not physically so you can’t complain.”

kuroo snickered before sending back a picture of himself with a puzzled expression and a grossed out looking kenma with the caption ‘kenma didn’t appreciate the honest content, glad to know the girls at your school have working eyes though?’.

he frowned after shutting his phone off as kenma took a seat besides him on the bench besides the court.

“that was weird, i don’t come across as that type of boy do i?”

kenma shrugged and pulled his own phone out, his attention now divided between his bestfriend and his devices.

“not here you don’t. the girls at fukurōdani just sound annoying and superficial minus y/n obviously.”

kenma muttered, his fingers tapping across his own screen.

“well then, i don’t suppose it’s matters too much then. i hope y/n isn’t too bothered by it though, as much as i love the praise, i don’t want it from anyone but her in that sense.”

“whipped.” kenma tutted quietly as kuroo smiled.

“that, i am.”

a week had passed and the two of you had forgotton about the fuss that the girls in your class had made over kuroo. there was no practice match to attend, but bokuto had insisted yourself, kuroo, kenma and akaashi all come over for dinner by the request of his mother and sisters who had complained how they hadn’t seen the four of you for a while together.

kuroo and kenma (kenma begrudgingly however), agreed to meet the three of you outside the entrance of fukurōdani to join you on your journey back to the bokuto residence.

kenma was reluctant to stand out in what obviously wasn’t a fukurōdani school uniform, but kuroo didn’t mind. it wasn’t rare for students from neighbouring schools to wait for other students after school hours as friendship groups outside of schools obviously existed.

kenma was leaning against the wall of the school gates and kuroo was stood beside him texting the group chat that the two of them had arrived and were waiting for them outside. his attention on his phone and not to those around him, kuroo failed to noticed the high pitched shrills of excitement ringing through the air at the sight of him.

“it’s him! the nekoma captain!”

“i’m gonna talk to him this time, do i look okay?”

“you look fine but i’m the one who’s gonna get his number so don’t get in my way.”

“you can’t say that! it’s whoever he picks!”

by now, kenma had picked up on the bickering of the girls which he considered impressive because usually he’d be able to block out anything outside of his psp.

“annoying.” he muttered coldly before doing his best to turn his attention back to his game.

“hi!”

kuroos head snapped up and he was met with a small group of girls that seemed to be growing with each student that left the gates of the school.

“um... hi?”

his face twisted in confusion as he silently begged yourself, bokuto or even akaashi to come out the gates and rescue him.

“so, you played here the other day didn’t you? you were really good.” one girl praised, her index finger twirling around the front strands of her hair.

“obviously he is. we go to a powerhouse school.” kenma muttered sharply more to himself than anything but it didn’t fail to garner a few dirty looks from the girls. not that kenma could’ve cared less anyway.

“uh thanks. you guys are kinda blocking up the path, you might wanna uh, go home?” kuroo suggested his concern growing at the same rate the group of girls were.

other students were beginning to take notice and while some girls added themselves to the group, other student shot kuroo an apologetic glance to which he half smiled back to.

“this is our territory, we’ll go home when we get your number.” one girl boldly stated to which other girls agreed.

“my girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate it.” he stated matter-o-factly.

the girls faces pulled in disgust and others humour while the ‘leader’ of the group scoffed.

“you don’t have a girlfriend. boys like you don’t settle so just give a few of us your number and eventually you’ll fall for one of us, although it’s more than likely going to be me.”

“actually, i’ve fallen for a girl already and i’ve fallen in deep. there’s no pulling me out so you might aswell run along no? are your parents not worried as to why you’re coming home so late?”

kuroo was growing more irritated than amused by now and he wanted nothing more than your hand in his at that very moment.

“stop lying and just give it to us. why do you treat the nekoma girls differently from us?”

“kuroo-san treats all girls other than y/n, his girlfriend of over a year differently. you’re not deprived so i suggest taking your leave before you cause any more disruption to anyone else.”

“akaashi!” kuroo smiled thankfully to which akaashi only nodded curtly before allowing you to walk by him wide smile drawn across your face.

“tetsu! kenma! i’m so glad to see you both!” you shoved past the shocked girls as you pulled yourself into kuroo’s arms as he happily accepted the gesture.

“i’m relieved to see you kitten.” he replied, the nickname stirring loss over the rest of the girls.

“whatever, you weren’t that hot anyway.” the main girl huffed purely out of embarrassment because not only had she been outdone by yourself, been rejected in public, but she’d also been told off by akaashi and his cold and flat tone did nothing to sugar coat the scolding.

“lying is a bad habit you know!” bokuto added earning a soft laugh from you.

if the girls weren’t embarrassed before, they certainly were now seeing as their own schools captain was now joining in.

“let’s just go.”

the girls filed down the street, embarrassment and regret written across their faces.

“why did you take so long?” kuroo whined as he pulled away to look at you.

“well, if there wasn’t a group of girls rushing through the halls to go see the ‘hot captain from before’ blocking the hallways, i would’ve been faster coming out.”

“i’m just glad you’re here now.” he smiled as the four of you began to walk down the street towards bokuto’s house.

“we’ve never had another captain stir so much commotion before, you must’ve really caught their short minded attention.” akaashi commented as kuroo told you all about the comments about him not having a girlfriend were made.

“yeah tetsuhoe.”

“what did you just call me?”

you snickered as you squeezed his hand.

“you heard me womaniser.”

kuroo groaned as kenma smirked at your teasing.

“you’re the only woman i want.” he sighed as bokuto awed at the two of you.

“yeah? good to know, glad i’m special enough for your attention.” you teased further as the others slowly began to join in much to kuroo’s dismay.

feigning annoyance was hard to do around you, but kuroo was just glad you weren’t bitter over the whole situation. he knew you knew you were the one for him.

playboy reputation or not, kuroo was happy just knowing you were confident in your postion in his heart.

and he’d be sure to remind you the next time he got you alone.

dt - @aislastetsu

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @toffees-main @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @tsukkaria @kuxredere @warakou @mattsuny @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo x you #kuroo fanfic #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #hq #hq x reader #hq x you #tetsu.week<3

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elysianslove · 3 years

Note

first of all can i just say congrats on the 500 like i'm so happy for you and you absolutely deserve it (huge bear hug :) ) now i had this crazy hcs idea and i immediately thought of you so long story short how would Karasuno , Aoba Johsai and Nekoma react to their sweet manager having powers similar to those of scarlet witch (marvel) or mirajane strauss (fairytail anime) feel free to pick whichever one is easier and thank you so much for indulging my crazy request. love u lots - safiyah <3333

oh my goodness thank you sm for your words here’s a bear hug <3 also also i was literally just thinking just how cool it would be to have like a supernatural au haikyuu thing and then you send me this wow we on some mind reading shit. anyways i really hope you like this. sorry it’s like hq on crack if you want a serious one lemme know hsjkhsk

karasuno high

they lose their shit.

every single one of them.

mentally they’re all like 12 (except daichi and mqybe ennoshita) so i definitely think they’d have a very childish reaction to it.

it’s so endearing though.

they find out while walking you home one night: it’s very stormy and they just wanted to make sure you get home safe because they worship the ground you walk on. cue like a fucking billboard nearly falling on you and the group of boys and your instincts just kick in and you stop it mid air.

noya’s still screaming even after everyone’s just gone silent and is gawking at the fact a billboard (or whatever the object is i can’t think rip) is hovering above them. in mid air. because of you. what the fuck?

daichi’s blood pressure drops he’s like somebody catch me im about to faint wtf is going on.

you kinda freak and just toss it away and run your way back home, as far away from the boys as possible.

but alas, you’re their manager, and you have duties to fulfill. so you show up to practice the next morning terrified for your life.

you’re not really sure why you’re so scared and nervous. you just are? it’s a huge part of who you are and it’d be a big bummer if the most important boys in your life didn’t accept it.

noya greets you with a really big hug

tanaka’s so loud but what’s new <3

daichi and suga just come up to you and gently ask if you’re okay because you ran off so quick yesterday

they all act super normal during practice but you can tell

you can tell

they want to ask so many questions they’re gonna explode

after practice, when coach ukai and takeda leave, and it’s just you, kiyoko, and the boys, it’s s o quiet. you would hear a pin drop.

you just sigh and go “you can ask”

your poor eardrums </3

they’re so fascinated by everything you say

kiyoko’s like “i had a hunch” like how do u have a hunch about something like this anyways what a queen

noya’s like “make me fly”

and tsukki in the back “drop him on his ass pls”

they definitely make you do so many things for them with it

cleaning duty is now on you because hello !! you can move things with your mind !!

kags doesn’t get it. he’s like. ok? and ? i can set volleyballs perfectly, hinata can jump really high despite his height, she can move things with her mind? so what?

i love him

they’re also crazy good at keeping it a secret?

not hinata tho he slips up so often like thank god the secret isn’t realistic or believable

he’ll be like “oh yeah? well our manager can move things with her mind!”

and suga just has to usher him away with a pained smile like “yeah she’s so incredible haha” while doing that thing moms do where they squeeze or pinch your shoulder if they’re mad at you in public

it feels like a weight lifted off your shoulders when they find out because the closer you grew to these boys, the more they felt like family to you.

aoba johsai

my favorite team

i hc makki as someone that smokes weed. pls don’t try to convince me otherwise. look at him. he’s a pothead <3

this is going somewhere i swear.

so you’re a 3rd year manager, meaning you’ve been with these boys a while now, specifically the third years of the team, so y’all are pretty close.

how they find out: it’s like 3am on a weekend, the seijoh 4 and some of the second years. you’d baked a cake with like all of them all at once in the kitchen, so it was now a mess, so you’re attempting to clean it up as fast as you can the way you know best — with your hands and your mind. makki walks in, high as shit, sees this and just.

“damn must be the weed.”

you don’t hear him. so. uh oh.

he was probably sent there by iwa to get water or something, so iwaizumi walks in and just yells so loud “what the fuck!”

it’s like they’re all summoned by this. they eventually all pile into the kitchen and you’re literally just frozen in fear with pots and pans and utensils and specks of flour hovering by you. and then you maintain eye contact with iwa as you lift one hand and direct the pans into a cupboard and slowly shut it.

“so it’s not the weed?”

they honestly. don’t act any different tbh

it’s like an added feature of yours that they appreciate.

oikawa asks you to read his mind to test if what happened that night was real and you just lift him up from off his seat.

“i asked you to read my mind tho hm”

yeah mind reading is just a regular thing now. they will slyly ask you to read the other team’s minds during a match and you’re like no that’s cheating. but you do. and you subtlety give them advice. like “hm i wonder if that team’s gonna do this specific attack”

also oikawa asks (read:begs) u to like help them make it through to nationals

you say “will it feel like a true accomplishment if i do?”

shuts his pretty face up <3

they also make you like. toss volleyballs to them. but with your mind. multiple of them. they take it as some stupid challenge idk these boys are dumb i love them

they also love throwing things at. YOU. LIKE WTF?

like haha dodgeball but it’s a group of 6’0+ athletes against just. you.

sounds fair

they also become insanely protective of you after they find out. idk how that clicks w them but. yes.

especially mattsun and iwa ? like men. relax.

anyways they would abuse the shit out of your powers genuinely but it’s okay it’s out of love <3

nekoma high

they. they’re idiots. all of them.

kuroo would probably be like but scientifically ! this makes zero sense

omg kenma would lose his MIND.

HES A GAMER BRUH

HED BE OBSESSED W YOU.

but lowkey bc none of that simp shit </3

ooou okay so you’re at a training camp and they sneak you in with them so you guys can play truth or dare

bc yk. you’re kids.

and y’all are going around and you just pick truth and someone asks what’s the biggest secret you’ve ever kept from us and they expect some dirty shit they’re nasty smh

and then you straight up go “i can move things w my mind”

and theyre like ok miss stop playin fr

keep in mind it’s dark as hell in the dormitory and eerily quiet and you shift one of the chairs in there, and it squeaks loudly

yamamoto jumps and looks at you w so much fear in his eyes. “that wasn’t you”

“bet?”

and then suddenly all chairs are moving all at once and yamamato deadass screams

kuroo’s shrugging like. “it’s just the wind,” like ur not in a closed off room w all the windows shut whatever u say sir <3

lev’s like

gone into shock. seriously someone go get him water or something.

when morning comes they’re all like hella scared to approach you except kenma and kuroo bc kenma— is in awe. kuroo — does not believe it.

you’re kinda :( that they’re scared of you and you approach them after the day is over and just apologize, and tell them you didn’t mean to scare them and that you’d never hurt them or even consider it.

they do a 180 bruh they just all go “awwwwww” and suffocate you in a group hug so you shove them all off for good measure lmao

kuroo still doesn’t believe it until you save his ass in broad daylight and he’s like ok maybe it wasn’t fake so what sue me

whenever there are training camps where other schools come they beg u to help them prank the boys

especially bokuto and hinata

and you do obviously

it’s hilarious watching them scream as something moves slightly. you never do it that it’s suspicious just enough to be like did that happen or is my mind messing w me rn

scarlet witch also has the ability to mess w people’s mind in the literal sense and whenever one of the boys pisses you off particularly you just make them see their biggest fear

kenma asks you to reenact some of his favorite gameplays for him

it’s literally just roleplay and you couldn’t care less someone catches the two of you you’re no pussy you can admit when you’re having fun

overall a very chaotic reaction

they don’t treat you any different they’re just like 100x more hyped about who you are. like the fact that you’re their manager is already a blessing and now this !!!

incredible <3333

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #karasuno x reader #aoba johsai x reader #nekoma x reader #haikyuu au

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shihalyfie · 3 years

Text

Yamato, Adventure’s most dramatically emotional cast member

The “edgy cool bishounen rival” has been such a staple of shounen anime for years that the moment you look at Yamato and his position next to Taichi, it’s easy to go “ah, yep, there it is.” But just like how Taichi’s actually very different from the shounen hero stereotype, Yamato, despite what his first impression and character design might suggest, is in fact the complete opposite!

Actually, I’ll start this off with an interesting story from Yamato’s own voice actor, Kazama Yuuto:

Yeah. When my agent asked me which role I wanted to try out, I thought I couldn’t do a pretty boy character like him, so I was really astonished when I was chosen for the role. Afterwards, when I asked Kakudou-san [the director] about it, he said that he’d decided on me the instant I’d come in... I’d heard that Yamato was a cool character, which I thought was a part of him that didn’t agree with me. So there was that factor in the beginning. But I learned that he was actually quite similar to me, and a surprisingly passionate guy.

I don’t generally have a huge tendency to include voice actor comments in analysis about writing, but I do think it says a lot that even his own voice actor walked in expecting the typical “pretty boy rival” character to the extent that he felt he’d have difficulty doing the role at all, only for the actual nature of Yamato’s character to catch him off guard! Because, yeah, that really is the case: Yamato’s first impression really is very deceptive, and his actual personality is, indeed, full of open passion and emotion in nearly every way.

Yamato in Adventure

...No, really, it really does not take long for it to be very clear that Yamato’s immediately not like the stereotype his character archetype would suggest, considering that even as early as Adventure episode 2, he was depicted as very obviously being open about his opinions, even if that made him quick to criticize.

When you talk about “rival” characters, usually, the reason such characters seem cold and standoffish is that there’s a certain degree of pride to them, or, in other words, they want to keep up a facade of being “cool” and rational and thus aren’t quick to show their emotions. But Yamato isn’t like that at all! From the very beginning, he speaks often, is very open and honest about his thoughts, and doesn’t seem to even really care what others think at all.

The Adventure novels do, in fact, make clear that he was more closed-in prior to arriving in the Digital World, and these bursts of emotion were actually unusual behavior for him at the time -- but it’s not because he’s prideful or anything! Firstly, it wasn’t necessarily that he deliberately cut himself off from others -- rather, he was still willing to engage in some degree of friendly interaction:

It wasn’t because he was lonely. In fact, many of his classmates would greet him with a friendly “Yo!” or “Hi~!” when they came across him and, naturally, Yamato would respond back with a smile.

And, in fact, said novel indicates that there’s a lot going on deeper than him merely suppressing his emotions for the sake of it:

The people around Yamato may have thought that he was a cold, aloof person, but that was only because he didn’t show what he thought to other people. When had he become like that? He hadn’t been like that when he was younger. But after his parents decided to divorce and his mom took Takeru by the hand and left home… Don’t go! Please don’t go! Don’t leave me! The truth was, he had wanted to plead with her and cry — but he couldn’t. Part of it had to do with his father standing by his side. Maybe his mother had secretly wished for Yamato to say that to her. But at that moment, Yamato had thought that he would never show weakness in front of his mom, even if he died from it. It was his own decision to follow his dad. Ever since coming to the Digital World, even Yamato was surprised by how much emotion he expressed. All of the emotion that he’d held back while at home, at school, had come bursting out without pause.

It’s also important to understand the reasons why he blows up so easily at Taichi in Adventure episodes 3 and 6 and whatnot -- he does it because he’s constantly looking out for the others and worried about their welfare. Pretty much all of the arguments he has with Taichi for the majority of the series involve him objecting to his perception of Taichi as insensitive, because Taichi has a tendency to tease others or bid for everyone to keep pushing forward into dangerous situations or when they’re tired. So, really, Yamato gets angered and emotional and picks his fights with Taichi because he cares too much, not because he’s deliberately trying to cultivate an image of being detached. Once they were outside the range of his family and their classmates and stranded in another world, Yamato’s bleeding heart instantly won out, and he started advocating for the welfare of everyone else.

This is why Yamato’s the one who gets the Crest of Friendship, because even though he starts off by putting up a defensive wall between himself and the others and seems very difficult to deal with, even when he gets angry and upset, he’s constantly upset on other people’s behalf. Even from the very beginning of the series, he’s actually one of the most caring people in the cast!

Really, the entire first few introductory episodes with Yamato can be pretty succinctly described as Yamato coping really badly with all those years of emotional suppression and letting it out in some pretty severe outbursts, especially when it comes to Takeru, whom he’d never been able to properly take care of as an older brother due to their parents’ divorce. (And while he’s definitely a little better at managing it, Takeru himself is actually also doing a pretty bad job with that whole emotional suppression and lack of catharsis thing.) Standoffish and cold? Nah -- not when Yamato has the single highest count of openly breaking down and crying out of the whole cast in Adventure.

And, for all it’s worth, remember that stereotypical “cold rival” characters in this kind of shounen series would normally be very ashamed at others seeing them so emotional, but Yamato...doesn’t really seem to care about the others seeing him do some really embarrassingly reckless stuff during his episodes of exploding over Takeru’s welfare. Once it’s past him, he doesn’t really dwell on it and moves on. Again: Yamato isn’t the kind of person who actually cares that much about what other people think of him.

Adventure episode 18 is an often-overlooked episode when it comes to Yamato, but it’s significant because it makes it clear that he doesn’t really have a problem being conversational and friendly with others (especially since, remember, any emotional suppression had more to do with the trauma and sensitive feelings surrounding his parents’ divorce and a desire to not show weakness) -- he starts a very lighthearted, friendly chat with Koushirou over why they’re looking for their Crests, and even admits that the reason he wants his own Crest is that he’s self-conscious about the idea of everyone else changing and improving as people while he gets left behind. That’s a really personal thing to admit, and arguably something very sensitive! It’s something you wouldn’t even blame him for potentially being self-conscious about! But he’s perfectly humble in admitting that this is something he wants to improve in, and carries on this entire conversation in a light-hearted, cheerful manner.

This episode takes place during a time where everything seems to be “safe” (they’re within Piccolomon’s barrier and finally have a proper place to sleep), and are on the verge of finding their own Crests in a situation that does not ostensibly involve running for their lives, so this is when you get to see Yamato in a relaxed situation. And, really, he’s very friendly and open, with no restraint about it. He really isn’t the kind of person to be condescending or cold by nature!

It’s even more incorrect to pin Yamato as someone who tries to act more on rationality (again, like the “cold rival” stereotype would suggest) because, in fact, he’s the kind of person who gets completely carried away by his own caring for others to the extent of irrationality. For instance, in Adventure episode 23 when his conflicting loyalties to Takeru versus wanting to help Jou in his situation get all mixed up, and he tries to buy into PicoDevimon's trick to turn Jou against him as a solution to taking sides before Jou clearly indicates this is the case, and Yamato doesn't hesitate to feel really bad about it. Openly so. Condescension? Nah.

No, really, I could just keep taking screenshots from Adventure all day if you want evidence of “Yamato is openly and passionately emotional to explosive degrees because he cares too much about others, and makes no real pretense of hiding it.” If you’re still not convinced, I don’t know what to tell you.

When Yamato infamously succumbs to Jureimon’s bait in Adventure episode 44 and ends up picking a fight with Taichi -- possibly his most self-centered action in the entire series -- it’s interesting to see that Jureimon does use the word “rival”, the same word used in anime trope lingo to describe “the person you’re constantly fighting with and competing with in order to improve yourself”. The reason why this is fascinating is that Adventure is making a point here that this kind of “stereotypical anime rival” relationship would be extremely unhealthy for these characters.

No, really: at least as far as Yamato’s concerned, and what defines the kind of “friendship” these particular kids need, what these kids need is mutual emotional support, not engineered conflict that can be passed off as “they fight but it’s a sign of how much they know each other!” Remembering that Adventure is, in many ways, a series that prioritizes wanting to focus on portraying the intimate nature of human behavior, it’s not surprising that it goes out of its way to make clear that centering your relationship with a friend around needing to “outdo” them is a really bad thing. (Observe how 02′s Daisuke and Ken also don’t fit the “rivals” archetype at all and are merely a straightforward relationship of best friends in little to no conflict, despite occupying the stereotypical position.)

But Jureimon successfully digs into all of Yamato’s insecurities about his perceived lack of self-improvement and his tendency to compare himself to the polar-opposite Taichi in terms of Taichi’s charisma and way of (ostensibly) playing better to Takeru’s dislike of being coddled. And so, the engineered conflict happens, and, of course, it traumatizes everyone around them. When Yamato finally manages to get over himself after some timely intervention from “the one who seeks stability” (Homeostasis) in Adventure episode 45, everyone in the group is miserable from the ordeal.

Adventure episode 51 basically lays down the two major issues Yamato had been facing up until that point, and ties it into a neat bow: the reason Yamato had become so obsessed with self-improvement was because he wanted to prove he was "independent" and "not weak", but in the end, he still sees himself as an inferior person compared to everyone else -- culminating in him eventually seeing Taichi as a better person than him. Gabumon reaches out to Yamato by clarifying Yamato’s right to not compete, but be unique; it’s not about competing or being a “better” or “worse” version of others, it’s finding his important niche in the group or in the world with the things only he’s good at. Yamato says it in explicit words in Two-and-a-Half Year Break:

Dad doesn’t remember. On the day when we had to decide whether Takeru or I would go with him… Neither Dad or Mom could decide, so I did. I thought, this way, Takeru would be able to stay with Mom. I chose for myself. And after that, I always chose for myself. Or that’s what I’d planned to. Even though I was called a Chosen Child, it was me who was going to choose what to do. No way was I going to be used for other people’s convenience. Maybe that’s why I went so far to keep myself from making friends. But in the end, I acknowledged that what I was doing was unreasonable. After all, I’m not living in this world by myself. If I hadn’t met Gabumon, I never would have realized that. The person I am right now, is not alone.

As long as Yamato only ever sees himself as a replaceable piece meant to fill in the same niches as everyone else, he’ll continue to be horribly critical of himself for not being a perfect person and ultimately being “useless” or “not necessary”. But it’s not about being perfect or a better or worse replacement, it’s about embracing himself and what he can do in his own way, and, indeed, at the end of the episode, Yamato’s arrival on the scene makes it clear that the group ultimately needs both of them, not just one.

It’s also interesting in that, whereas most of the kids (especially in the Adventure finale) are very open about their own feelings to their own partners, Yamato and Gabumon are capable of “communicating” in some sense just by Yamato playing the harmonica. But it’s perhaps because Yamato is normally so open and passionate about his own feelings that such a tacit method is something they can do -- they’ve already bared themselves to each other so many times already, that in the end, all they need to do is just enjoy the abstract things together.

Yamato in 02 and after

So by the time we get to 02, any trace of coldness or detachment from Yamato has completely vanished.

I cannot emphasize this enough: completely vanished. Even in the middle of being a heartthrob for the teenagers in school thanks to his good looks and work with his band, he’s open and lacking in condescension whatsoever, and it’s basically like seeing the openly friendly Yamato from Adventure episode 18 for a whole series. Actually, it already says a lot that he’s in a band, considering it feels like shifting his music activities to a full-on band is there to make a deliberate statement that Yamato is now much better at socializing and working in organized groups now -- it’s a far cry from having to work solo or independently, and it’s significant that “the person who wanted to be able to do everything by himself” is now interested in doing something a bit more cooperative. (And to lend further to the idea he’s sentimental and constantly thinks of others, his band, the TEEN-AGE WOLVES, is all but confirmed to be named in indirect tribute to Gabumon.)

He’s open, conversational, makes a lot of silly faces throughout the series, and basically the only thing he has left that remotely resembles the “pretty boy rival” stereotype is that he’s deep in the aesthetic. But even then, you get the impression that he just does that because he genuinely likes it, not because he’s trying to be “cooler than you” or anything. And it’s easy to see why: Yamato, quite simply, got over himself. He stopped restraining himself all the time in his attempts to become a perfect person, and simply let himself loose to express himself how he wanted, and ultimately became a perfectly sociable and friendly person who’s now even popular at school!

Yamato’s punch on Taichi in 02 episode 10 is often taken as evidence that Taichi and Yamato embody the “rivals who constantly get in fights but are somehow still friends” trope, but this tends to avoid the actual context of the rest of the scene -- in fact, Daisuke himself rightfully points out that if Yamato had done this out of any actual anger or condescension, this would have been a really cruel thing to do to Taichi when he’s already going through so much. But Yamato’s not doing this out of resentment or condescension, he’s doing this for Taichi’s own sake to help him get out of his stupor, and the important part here is that he immediately holds out a hand to him afterwards. Or, in other words, this isn’t something they’re doing out of conflict, but out of communication, and it’s now at the point where Taichi understands Yamato’s intent, and Yamato knows that what he wanted to do would be conveyed to Taichi, without words.

That is why Taichi and Yamato are finally so close now: they understand each other’s feelings. They’re not competing with each other. They’re not resenting each other. They’re sympathetic and forgiving of each other, and they communicate, verbally or otherwise.

It’s followed by a scene in 02 episode 11 that’s also often construed as Taichi and Yamato advocating fighting as part of a healthy friendship, but, again, this omits context: they talk about their fighting in past tense! They’re referring as fighting having been part of the things they had to do to understand each other now, when they clearly aren’t in that kind of conflict anymore. The idea they’re espousing is that Daisuke and Takeru need to let out their feelings and have some catharsis if they want to truly understand each other (which is, indeed, how Taichi and Yamato eventually settled their differences) and hopefully get to a position of mutual understanding, instead of the others forcing them to have peace for the sake of peace and not letting their feelings get out on the table. (And, ultimately, Daisuke spends the rest of the episode thinking about Takeru’s position, and none of the 02 kids ever end up in this bad of a brawl for the rest of the series, yet manage to build a friendship in spite of that -- so, yes, the important part was that they had their feelings out in the open and got catharsis, not fighting in itself.)

Yamato also has an interesting role in the 02 drama CDs, including one entirely devoted to him (Letter). Said drama CD has quite a few things to note:

Gabumon says that Yamato being rather silent and not speaking up about what he’s thinking is unusual behavior for him.

As much as Yamato’s managed to do a better job opening up in general, he’s still suffering from extreme self-worth issues, considering himself as worthless if he’s not able to do anything for a girl in the hospital, even though it’s of course completely reasonable he can’t do much. Despite that, he continues to emotionally fixate on her welfare and basically self-flagellate and do a lot of pretty emotionally occupied things in the process.

Speaking of getting emotionally occupied, as much as he ends up snapping a bit at the people on the beach who keep annoying the hell out of him, he eventually feels so bad for the shaved ice seller that he forces himself to eat it just for him. (Even though it’s freezing.)

Yamato’s a really poetic person. Almost sappily so.

On top of that, Armor Evolution to the Unknown gives us an ever-so-slight glimpse of his dating life with Sora -- which, while he hadn’t been super-flagrant about, he also hadn’t been hiding either (he’s clearly willing to engage in a bit of PDA as per 02 episode 43), and, if the admittedly-kind-of-crack drama CD is to believed, he’s actually very emotionally passionate about his relationship to her, and very dedicated! Beyond just the (very sudden) passionate declaration of love to her in the middle of tap dancing, when Sora is found to have been worrying about him being cold lately, he immediately goes out of his way to try and make things right and prove his love...

Yamato’s initial appearance in Kizuna pretty much defines in a nutshell what his and Taichi’s relationship eventually turned out to be: they’re willing to banter because they’re comfortable with each other, but when it all comes down to it, they appreciate and trust each other deeply. Again, the point is that Yamato and Taichi are emotionally there for each other, considering that (even if he ribs Taichi a bit for it) Yamato’s willing to come all the way down to meet Taichi for late-night beer and talk to him through his emotional troubles.

And, yes, Yamato’s still there to be a concerned minder for Taichi and to make sure he doesn’t get too inconsiderate of what he’s doing -- but there’s no conflict over it, just the two of them balancing their necessary roles as part of the group and keeping each other in check. Again, as was made clear back in Adventure, it’s not about one person being more necessary than the other, it’s them both working together to fulfill their own roles.

As one of the central characters in the movie, Yamato’s also having an existential crisis of adulthood, and in his case, it’s that he’s playing everything too much by ear but isn’t really sure what he wants to commit to. He’s still enjoying music as a hobby, but it’s apparent he doesn’t want to commit to it as a career (which is, well, quite the common thing for those who have hobbies in middle school) -- and moreover, the novel indicates that it’s not bringing him happiness the way it used to. (The movie goes out of its way to depict Yamato feeling isolated with both a harmonica and a band, referencing that neither Adventure nor 02′s ways are doing it for him anymore.)

Beyond the motorcycle we see Yamato driving a few times in the movie, the official website profile makes it clear that this is one of his major new interests, and it’s presumably why he’s also attending an engineering school -- he can’t decide on a long-term goal, so he’ll at least experiment with the thing he likes. Yamato’s always been someone who thinks with emotions and feelings, so it fits him.

We also learn that he’s surprisingly studious, and is picking up some things that run contrary to his image (the glasses!), including the fact he seems to like school enough that he wants to do more school while he figures out what he wants to do. This is something that happens in real life for a certain kind of person in a career-based existential crisis -- as many people as there are who play very badly with educational structures, there are also people who rely very heavily on the structure of college or grad school basically handing you tasks to do on a plate, and find the job market to be scarier than staying within that bubble. It’s not too unreasonable to imagine that Yamato, who in certain ways has never really been the kind of person to assertively have an idea of “this is what I want to do!” and generally works by immediate feelings instead of long-term goals, would end up becoming that kind of person. As he says, it’s really just him trying to postpone the inevitable decision and get a grace period.

Since “shutting out one’s own partner (and therefore one’s own inner self)” is key to the cause of partner dissolution, Yamato’s way of it isn’t as direct as Taichi or Sora (who end up actively shutting out their partners in a bid to become an adult), but is most certainly there -- especially when he’s the one who drops a mocking line about the idea of bringing Gabumon to his school. (It’s not about whether it’s actually doable or not; it’s the fact that he laughs and scoffs at how stupid this is.) The fact he treats friends drifting apart as an “inevitable” thing, and eventually is shown very obviously to be keeping Gabumon out of the phone conversations (in stark contrast to the 02 quartet going out of their way to keep them involved on the other end) ultimately boils down to: neglect. Yamato’s coasting by on everything he likes, but it also means he’s just letting everything happen, instead of consciously pursuing things and passionately following things with gusto, the way he used to.

But we do see Yamato’s single-minded and passionate side come out again -- while Taichi shuts down and ruminates on what to do about his impending loss of Agumon, Yamato’s the one who desperately runs around trying to figure something out, recruiting the 02 quartet into it, losing sleep over it, and eventually having a passionate confrontation with Taichi as the climax approaches. (Note that this, again, is not a real conflict in nearly the same way the two of them would be spitting insults at each other all the way back in Adventure; it’s just the two baring their own feelings, and Yamato quickly accepts Taichi’s answer very easily because he, too, feels the same. Again: they’ve become very good at communicating.)

Yamato does eventually let Gabumon back into his periphery instead of neglecting him so much, and their final scene together in the movie involves them resuming their old method of tacit communication that they’d once shared together, with Yamato playing the harmonica. It’s a sign of Yamato finally embracing those things in the past that used to make him happy rather than cultivating an uncomfortable relationship with it just because he’d kicked it out of his career prospects, and ultimately coming to terms with what he likes and what makes him happy.

And speaking of career prospects...

The question of “why did Yamato become an astronaut?” is one that’s infamously weirded out people all over the globe because of how much it clashes with his image, and how much of a kind of “out-there�� thing it is that had virtually no precedent whatsoever in Yamato’s prior hobbies. (Although, if you really think about it, space travel isn’t that huge of a hurdle as it sounds for a world like this where Digital Gates exist to bend space-time; you just send a probe with a Digital Gate link up there...) The original meta reason was, simply, that it was a holdover from one of the original ideas for the third Adventure series, in which they would be investigating forces that were obstructing evolution from space. (The original logical progression was that Adventure would have a threat from the Digital World, 02 a threat from the real world, so the theoretical third series would be space...) When you think about which of the original Tokyo Chosen Children would be the most likely to actively pursue this route, it actually is likely to be Yamato, given that Taichi is more of a person who’s an overall leader and coordinator, whereas Yamato, who’s much more up-front aggressive and openly passionate, would be more likely to want to tackle the situation with his own hands.

Kizuna -- or, more specifically, its novel -- offers another (and not mutually exclusive!) explanation:

While studying at graduate school, Yamato came up with a dream he had for his future. He wanted to study cosmology, and become an astronaut. The way there would not be easy. There was a whole mountain of things he’d have to do to get there. But Yamato had a certain ambition in mind. Someday, he was going to go to space with Gabumon. Whenever he thought of that future, Yamato was willing to do anything to get there.

Remembering that Yamato was at an engineering school (presumably originally from the motorcycles connection), it seems that he eventually “ran into” the career option by chance and happenstance, and thought about it and decided he wanted to follow it for the sake of going with Gabumon. It’s a very “romantic” and sappy kind of “out-there” dream, and, actually, that’s the point -- Yamato is a ridiculous romanticist, the kind of person who waxed about barbecue back in Adventure episode 6, and compared his relationship with Takeru to Hikoboshi and Orihime back in 02 episode 17, and spouted a bunch of poetic words at the sea during Letter. And, remember, he’s always been openly shameless and passionate about everything he’s felt and liked, and has never cared what other people would think.

And in the context of Kizuna, where Yamato was slowly losing touch with himself and his passions and eventually lost Gabumon as a result, it’s a very important sign that everything’s on its way back to healing, and that he’ll be able to achieve that future where they meet again.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #ishida yamato #yamato ishida #shihameta #kizuna spoilers

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shelobussy · 3 years

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Ohmygod YES Susan Pevensie is awesome please talk to me about Susan i want to know everything you have to say

Literally THANK YOU for asking me this bc Susan Pevensie is a character I never get asked about and I have So Many Opinions.

I'm going to start by saying that Susan used to be my least favorite character in the series. This goes for the books and the movies. Some of it was for personal reasons--she reminds me of a couple of annoying ppl I know irl--but it was also bc I watched Prince Caspian which shoehorned her into a relationship with Caspian which I hated.

HOWEVER. I ended up rethinking this position after interacting with Susan fans and realizing that there are so many wonderful things to love about her!

(putting under the cut bc this got long)

Things Ash Loves About Susan Pevensie

Aight I'm not going to do a formal analysis yet on her, but instead rant about some of the unrelated things I adore about Susan Pevensie.

Susan the Archer

Look we all love archery here. I don't have anything more to say.

Okay, I actually do have more to say. I love the fact that Susan is a complete badass with the bow. You get the general impression that she's one of the royals in charge of public relations, traditions, foreign policy, etc. and yet she's the most competent archer in the series. One of the few things I liked about the movies is how they didn't downplay this. They actually let her be a badass and show off her skills.

Also the part where she kicks Trumpkin's ass was awesome.

Susan the Gentle

Susan being the most passive Pevensie was something I definitely underappreciated as a teenager. I think my non-ability to see past "I'm not like other girls" narrative and the combination of Susan being described as the most traditionally feminine woman in the Narnia series is what initially turned me off from her.

HOWEVER, now it's one of my favorite attributes! I love that Susan is a badass and the most beautiful woman in Narnia. She has hair down to her feet, every man and woman in the kingdom want to fuck her, and she's still a fucking badass who will not hesitate to kick your ass.

Susan the Sister

Most of my thoughts of Susan as an older sister mostly stem from my own personal headcanons, but she is an awesome sister to her siblings. She's Peter's voice of reason, Edmund's sass partner, and Lucy's big sister.

Susan the Mom-Friend

She is a literal mother-figure for Corin.

"[...] the most beautiful lady he had ever seen rose from her place and threw her arms round him and kissed him, saying: "Oh Corin, Corin, how could you? And thou and I such close friends ever since thy mother died. [...]"

-The Horse and His Boy, 33-34

Most everything I have to say about this ventures into headcanon territory, but I love the idea of Susan basically adopting Corin after his mom dies. The way she trusts Cor--who she thinks is Corin in this chapter--is really sweet and I wish we could've seen more of that relationship.

Susan the Flawed

Something I notice from the fandom is a lot of people who hate Susan tend to because of her flaws. On the other hand, most Susan stans like to wave away these flaws and blame C.S. Lewis for being misogynistic or Aslan for being a "cruel god" and ignore the fact that she is a deeply flawed person.

Susan gets something of a "reverse redemption arc" in The Chronicles of Narnia. This makes her not only a fascinating foil to Edmund--as both are analytical, logical people--but an interesting character by herself.

She starts out in TWW as very skeptical of Narnia and it's whole deal and also very condescending to Lucy throughout. She ultimately does admit that Lucy was right and does get on board with the whole prophecy at the same time Peter does, and ends the book being crowned "the Gentle Queen."

In The Horse and His Boy, she has a very interesting dynamic with Edmund and in even more interesting relationship with Rabadash. They don't even interact on-page with each other, but it's highly implied that she was interested in him when he was a guest in Narnia. His behavior obviously changed when she visited him in Tashbaan, but you have to wonder what their dynamic was like before for her to travel all the way to his home when relations between the countries were strained at best.

Prince Caspian is where the cracks start showing through. Susan has lived an entire life as an adult in Narnia, gets thrown back to England with her siblings, and is yet again in Narnia as a child. This book is what really emphasizes her one fatal flaw: convenience.

(Put a pin in that thought, I'll get back to it.)

Susan denies once again that Lucy saw something that the rest of them can't seen. She continues this narrative until every other sibling finally acknowledges Lucy in the right and only then does she apologize.

The last mention of Susan is in The Last Battle, where all of her flaws rise up against her in the worst way possible. I have a lot of controversial opinions on this that I'm going to address later, but I just want to say that Susan's reverse-redemption arc is something I actually like about her.

(There is also evidence that Susan does get a full redemption arc, just as Edmund and Eustace did, but C.S. Lewis was pretty much done with The Chronicles of Narnia at the point and instead encouraged fans to write their own version of how that went down.)

Okay, back to convenience being Susan's fatal flaw. So the one thing that comes up time and time again in the series is that Susan is very focused on material comforts. I believe it's implied that she's vain, and it's canonical that her own personal comfort spurs her to make decisions.

"[...] I really believed it was him — he, I mean — yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and — and — oh, I don't know [...]"

Prince Caspian, 81

Prince Caspian has the strongest examples of Susan doing this, but certainly there's evidence elsewhere. There are a lot of fans who are distressed by this, claiming that Aslan and the others are too hard on her and shouldn't judge.

Honestly, I like that she's written with this flaw. Not only is it very relatable--(my own personal comfort and convenience is something I highly prioritize too)--but it humanizes a character who otherwise is ridiculously op and basically the Helen of Troy of the series. It may sound like I'm using this as an excuse to rant, but I really wouldn't have her any other way.

Susan As Portrayed by Anna Popplewell

Movie!Susan is a fucking delight.

She's sarcastic and badass and awesome and I could spend hours heaping praise on Anna's acting and her portrayal of Susan, but I can already tell that this post is going to be long so, I'll just stop here.

(10/10 want to be stabbed by her tho.)

Personal Headcanons

Let's talk about my fanon thoughts. I have many.

Susan is Aro

There's canonical evidence for this! Susan is a character who is heavily pursued by suitors everywhere, and even lets herself be courted by many of them, but chooses not to settle down. Even when she gets back to England and is described as only having interest in parties and material things, boys aren't mentioned.

I like to think that in The Horse in His Boy Susan was interested in Rabadash at first because he was a brilliant conversationalist. Nothing she says about him implies romantic interest, before and after she realizes the truth of his intentions.

Susan and Edmund Were Best Friends

This might be my love for The Horse and His Boy showing itself, but I think Susan and Edmund were thrown into circumstances where they interacted the most with each other.

Edmund is the ruler in charge of politics. Susan is the ruler in charge of Cair Paravel's public image. I imagine they spent time as ambassadors to other countries and planning royal functions.

They're also the most level-headed and logical out of their siblings, so they probably found a lot in common.

Susan Fancast

I literally just said I loved Anna's potrayal of Susan's (and I love what they gave us of older Susan too in LWW!), but I read the books in 2008 and my parents didn't let me see the movies bc I was like...nine years old and they thought it would be too scary.

So I had to headcanon my own interpretations.

Queen Susan the Gentle:

For some reason Merlin wasn't too scary for me to watch and I fell in love with Katie McGrath in like. Two episodes so. (On an unrelated note, I also fancast Bradley James as Peter at the time.)

Anyway, fanon Susan is basically Morgana Pendragon pre-evil arc. Sassy as hell, hot as fuck, and can kick your ass.

Unpopular Opinions

Yeah, feel free to skip this part if having controversial fandom opinions is a deal breaker for you.

The Problem With Susan Isn't Actually A Problem

I'm about to start so much discourse in the Narnia fandom, but C.S. Lewis's choices with her in The Last Battle weren't misogynistic. Bear in mind, I'm not saying that all of his writing choices in the series were A++ or excusing away certain racist/sexiest bits, but it's honestly baffling to me that people are so up in arms over Susan's exclusion in the final book.

So the part that everyone loses their shit over is as follows:

"My sister Susan," answered Peter shortly and gravely, "is no longer a friend of Narnia."

"Yes," said Eustace, "and whenever you've tried to get her to come and talk about Narnia or do anything about Narnia, she says 'What wonderful memories you have! Fancy your still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children.'"

"Oh Susan!" said Jill, "she's interested in nothing now-a-days except nylons and lipstick and invitations. She always was a jolly sight too keen on being grown-up."

"Grown-up, indeed," said the Lady Polly. "I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one's life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can."

The Last Battle, 83-84

There's a lot to unpack here and I first want to say that everyone's opinion on this part, no matter how different than mine, is valid. I'm going to be quoting some other ppl's opinions on here and by no means am I bashing them. I just want to address my feelings on the matter and the best way to do that is to cite the thoughts of ppl who have opposing ideas.

Here are some arguments on Tumblr I've heard regarding "The Problem of Susan":

"How about we talk about what might have happened if Narnia hadn't deserted Susan? [...] What if we didn't tell Susan she had to go grow up in her own world and then shame and punish her for doing just that? She was told to walk away and she went. She did not try to stay a child all her life, wishing for something she had been told she couldn't have again."

"Narnia is filled with metaphors (often not very subtle ones) that are supposed to teach us how to be, and the most glaring one for any young girl to absorb is that it's okay to be a girl like Lucy, unthreatening and cheerful and valiant and faithful, but to be a girl like Susan gets you punished - in fact, you aren't just punished, you're destroyed."

"why do we call it ‘the problem’ where’s the problem about a young woman dealing with her trauma and choosing her own path, actively making the choice to keep living and to stay and to carve a life out in England when her siblings couldn’t? what is the problem about susan forgetting to somehow cope with what she’s experienced? why is it ‘the problem of susan’ that she recontextualised her faith?"

And then there's JK Rowling who said this:

There comes a point where Susan, who was the older girl, is lost to Narnia because she becomes interested in lipstick. She's become irreligious basically because she found sex. I have a big problem with that.

It's weird how I'm still finding new ways to hate JKR in the year 2021. Again, there is absolutely zero implication that Susan had sex when she came back to England. ZERO. Did she actually read the books? IDK. If someone shares this opinion pls reply with actual canonical evidence.

Back on topic, I'm a firm believer of death of the author and interpreting art via your own experiences. Which is why I'm also going to share my own interpretation by saying y'all are wrong.

Susan Pevensie was not abandoned by Narnia. She was not barred from Narnia because she is traditionally feminine or because she "owned her sexuality" (another opinion I didn't have time to condense down for this post) or because she recontextualized her faith or even because she deserved to be punished.

I also fail to see how Susan recontexualized her faith, as the entire point of it all is that she has none. Bringing this back to Susan's fatal flaw (personal convenience/material comforts), her prioritizing herself over her own faith is the reason she is "no longer a friend of Narnia." Not...whatever fanon y'all are imposing on her character.

Susan is not being punished for liking lipstick and looking pretty. Susan's not even being punished. Y'all read Neil Gaiman's The Problem of Susan and forgot it wasn't canon.

There are many reasons Susan is not in Aslan's Country (one of them being that she's not actually dead yet), but the main one has to do with this:

"[...] But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, 215-216

Yeah, okay that's why Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia. The implication when the Pevensies are told that they can no longer enter Narnia is that they are to find Aslan in other places. Susan doesn't do this, instead choosing to focus her life on material things. It isn't the lipstick, it's that she only wants the lipstick.

Susan Had Sex In The Books

Oh and not in the context y'all are thinking. (Again, there are no implications that Susan was barred from Narnia for having sex or that she had sex when she came back to England.)

So there's actual canonical evidence that Susan and Rabadash had a sexual relationship. Sort of.

"What think you? We have been in this city fully three weeks. Have you yet settled in your mind whether you will marry this dark-faced lover of yours, this Prince Rabadash, or no?"

-The Horse and His Boy, 35

Edmund calls Rabadash her lover. Not her suitor. I don't know if the word had a different meaning in 1954, but it feels like C.S. Lewis is saying that they're fucking. I'm not really happy with the idea of Susan sleeping with an abuser, but really proud of her for Getting Some as a woman born in a time period where having premarital sex was a big no-no.

This also invalidates the weird opinion going on that Susan was barred from Narnia because she had sex.

Suspian Is The Worst

I haven't really talked about Movie!Susan much, but as long as we're talking unpopular opinions, it's worth noting that I hate Suspian. Some of it is the "Susan is Aro" headcanon screaming inside of me, but it's also the fact that it's written poorly, does nothing interesting for either character and generally comes across as awkward.

I feel like they were trying to make Prince Caspian sexy and relevant to teens. It came across as super heteronormative and unnecessary.

It also gets really really weird bc the next movie then gives Caspian and Edmund mad chemistry and we're all just like........ok.

Final Thoughts

Susan may not be my favorite character in the series, but she's grown on me over the years. I have many issues with fanon interpretations of her--which definately fueled some of my disdain for her initally--and I don't identify as a Susan Apologist.

I do however adore Susan and have many headcanons for her not mentioned here. I love reading fanfic, writing fanfic and meta, and generally having conversations about her and would love to talk more about it.

I welcome criticism (CONSTRUCTIVE) and conversation on all of my opinions and observations. Please drop into my inbox. <3

#susan pevensie #the chronicles of narnia #the problem of susan #narnia #meta #narnia meta #susan meta #ash does fandom #ash does meta

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insomniumstella · 4 years

Note

An angsty prompt of roommate!bucky? Like just imagine you’re two idiots who are mutual pinning after each other, but obviously y’all don’t know that you’re in love. I might need some angst there....🥺👉👈

bucky x reader

warnings: some adult themes, a bit of angst, can’t think of any others

word count: 3,279

Monday

Their usually empty apartment is scattered with people tonight, soft sounds of music and chatter in the background.

“You didn’t tell me Barnes’s new girlfriend would be here.” Wanda and y/n are preparing drinks in the kitchen, because who wants to only drink straight vodka or beer. Other duties, such as setting up food in the living room were left to the remaining Avengers, and y/n sincerely hopes they can handle it because last time Sam tried opening a bag of chips he spilled them everywhere.

“She’s not his girlfriend.” She raises an eyebrow, finishing each Mojito with a sprig of mint “Besides, he forgot to tell me.” I do not have feelings for Bucky Barnes, she thinks after noticing Wanda’s apologetic look.

“Of course you don’t” She replies sarcastically, almost singing ‘of course’ for emphasis. Surprisingly the living room looks neat and peaceful when they come back, people sitting on every free space they were able to find, floor including.

“Might have to get you and Barnes a bigger apartment because this shoebox isn’t cutting it.” y/n dismisses Tony’s comment because this apartment is often empty anyways due to frequent missions. Still, it’s cozy; when Bucky suggested they live together, because it’s totally normal for two friends to do so, even if they can get separate places, y/n took up the decorating. While it was not necessarily fancy, multiple fairy lights, and about a million photos made the place feel inviting and safe. Bucky would agree too, having spent hours on the worn out couches, whether it was drinking with the boys or reading, something he recently took up. Steve removes his hand from the couch’s arm rest and nods his head as if saying come sit here, which y/n does, cozying up half on the arm rest, half against Steve’s body. He’s nursing a beer, and smiles at her when she finally settles.

“Truth or drink?” Natasha suggests, taking a shot of vodka straight from the bottle, using her Mojito as a chaser. Y/n turns her head to look at Bucky, whose eyes are burning holes in the side of her head, snickering when she turns her gaze to his new girl and notices her disgusted expression. Yeah, it’ll take her a while to get used to us. Sam’s up first to ask questions. He snatches the bottle out of Natasha’s hands, passing it to Tony, and thinks for a minute before asking “Have you ever been in an orgy?”

“That’s one way to start the game.” Tony laughs before taking a shot. He doesn’t have to answer for others to know. “My sweet Natasha, who here do you think is packing the most?”

Somehow she has managed to find and open a bottle of tequila; it’s been a rough week for her. Taking a shot “Steve.” She answers. “Steve, when was the last time you had sex?”

“Do all of these have to be sexual?” He’s blushing hard; talking about things of this nature is still weird and uncomfortable for him, but so’s drinking hard liquor. “Two days ago.” There’s oohs and ahh’s filling the room, and y/n takes notice of how Steve leans into her, almost as if to escape people’s eyes on him.

“C’mon guys, Steve’s right, at least let’s ease into the sexual questions. Hey Bucky, who do you think is the sexiest person here?” That’s a good way for him to include his new girl more, y/n thinks, but to her surprise, Bucky’s taking the bottle of vodka from Tony and taking a shot. The teasing stares from Wanda, y/n tries ignoring for the rest of the game.

Tuesday

“Who do you think is it?” Natasha is still wandering about last night when Bucky decided to take a shot instead of answering who’s the sexiest. For a spy, she’s surprisingly unaware. It’s just the girls at the apartment, because y/n invited them over after James announced he’s going a date. It worked out kind of perfectly; girls nights are very important, yet neither of them can remember when was the last time it happened. Thanking the delivery guy and coming back into the living room with a pizza, y/n turns to Natasha.

“I think the real question is what made you think Steve’s packing the most, when our team has a literal God?” A deep crimson colour paints Natasha’s cheeks. She’s hangover from last night, so it’s one of the rare times anyone ever sees her blushing. y/n knows she’s got her; two days ago, after a mission gone wrong, she decided to sleep at the compound, and guess who was sneaking out of Steve’s room in the middle of the night? As the sun sets, the conversations get more open, and wine bottles, one by one, disappear from the fridge. It’s about 1am when Bucky comes home to find a messy apartment and his girl sleeping on the couch; Natasha and Wanda somehow managed to drunkenly call a taxi back to the compound. Not my girl, he corrects himself after the thought accidentally crosses his mind, I have a different girl, he thinks.

“You’re home.” y/n slurs, reaching her arms out to hug him.

“I’m home.” He chuckles, leaning down to pick her up, bridal style.

“Did you have fun?”

“Not as much as you, apparently.” He answers, walking up to her bedroom door, opening it, and gently places her on the bed. “You’ll have a lot to clean up tomorrow.” This is not true. Bucky Barnes will clean it up himself, the way y/n does after he has one too many. “Goodnight sleeping beauty.” And with a kiss on her forehead she’s out. Not my girl.

Wednesday

Winding down after a long day is one of life’s most simple pleasures, and with Halloween right around the corner, a spooky movie marathon was bound to happen.

“Beetlejuice or Hocus Pocus?”

“Neither of these names mean something to me?” Bucky’s answer sounds more like a question. Of course he wouldn’t know the names of the two classics, yes, life really has been rough on him, y/n thinks. She’s sitting on the couch with a bag of popcorn, legs comfortably placed on the coffee table, when Bucky comes out of the kitchen and puts their drinks down. “Also, you drink too much.” He points out her wine obsession.

Leaning her head on his shoulder after he sits down “You talk too much.” She answers. It feels weird to sit so close when he’s seeing someone, but hey, this is Bucky, the guy, she’s been living with and crushing on for months, she might as well enjoy this while she can. Besides he’s acting casual about it. Not, he’s not casual about it. From the inside at least, because yes, Bucky looks completely calm, reaching down to her lap to grab some popcorn from time to time, but his heart is skipping beats a little too much for his liking.

Maybe next time Steve’s staring at her with those love-filled eyes, I should just tell them to get a room? Bucky considers, this is too hard and at least that way, I won’t see her as much. He’s so still she wonders if he fell asleep, but the turning of his head assures he didn’t. His lips form a smile and she smiles back. I wish Bucky liked me back, like how Steve likes Natasha, y/n thinks to herself, they’re so cute together.

“I don’t like this Beetlejuice guy or whatever he is.”

“I think he’s charming in a way.” y/n lifts her legs from the table and places them over Bucky’s, so she’s sideways and looks up at him.

“You’re charming in a way.”

“Oh sergeant, thank you.”

“Said no one, ever.” Y/n laughs and playfully hits him with one of the many decorative pillows they have placed on the couch.

“You love me, Bucky Barnes.”

Oh you have no idea. That he doesn’t say.

Thursday

8am

Knife, gun, extra ammo; yes, pretty much everything she’d need she has on her.

“Don’t die out there, pretty lady.”

“Okay, Birdman, shut it.” y/n teases as they both walk up to where Bucky’s standing. “This mission is like a piece of cake, right Buck?” But he doesn’t answer, lost somewhere in his own thoughts, face painted in worry. “You alright?” She asks when Sam goes to check on Cap, placing her hand on his shoulder. “This is an easy task.”

“It’s not the mission I’m thinking about.” He shrugs, but there’s no time for her to answer, because Steve is already opening the quinjet door, shouting at them to prepare for jumping.

8pm

“You’ve been quiet all day. If there’s anything, no matter how small, you know you can talk to me.” They’ve been hiding in some random bushes, the apparently quick and easy mission turning into something no one expected.

“Do you like Steve?” Bucky’s face is completely serious, no teasing eyes, no toothy grin he usually has when talking about guys with her.

“Of course I like Steve.” Like a brother or a friend. “This is what’s been bothering you?” y/n laughs, because it’s funny, surely he must know she likes Steve, otherwise why would they spend so much time together.

Yes, that’s what’s been bothering me. “No, just something that I thought of right now.” He manages to smile, but it’s the fakest smile y/n has seen on him yet. “Did you ask him?”

“Yeah.” y/n scrambles to get her phone out of her suit pocket. Of course she texted Steve, asking if they can pack up and go home already as the suspect they were after has not shown up all day.

“Cool.” It’s cool she asked him if he liked her back, James thinks, it’s for the better, “What’d he say?”

Unlocking it, y/n opens up the text messages app “He said yes, we should head back to the jet.”

Looks like they might be going on a first date tonight, Bucky takes a deep breath, that’s good, right?

Friday

Whatever has been bothering Bucky all day yesterday, y/n’s glad is gone. He walks into the meeting holding two trays of coffee, passing them out to those attending.

“Good morning.” He smiles at her, after sitting down and turns his head to look at Steve, who’s standing at the end of the table, ready to start the meeting. His hair is messy and he looks peaceful, a little too peaceful, considering last night’s failed mission. y/n laughs.

“Something you can say to all of us?” She shakes her head and they both share a look which makes Steve’s cheeks turn pink.

“Nothing, Captain.” They both know y/n is mocking him and Natasha, after overhearing her scream the word over and over in the gym’s locker room; the screams clearly cause by pleasure of them going at it.

Bucky shifts in his seat uncomfortably and speaks up “I think we should start, as me and Sam don’t have all day, right Sam?” Whatever Sam’s caught in the middle of, he’s not a fan.

“Actually, I’m not that busy to-“ He’s cut off by James.

“Well, I have a date so start talking lover boy.” He says casually, his words filling the room with an awkward silence, before Steve goes over the plan for their next mission.

Saturday

“Are you sure you don’t mind if a couple of my old college friend come over today?”

Every free Saturday they like to go grocery shopping together. Bucky’s attitude is much better than it was in the meeting yesterday, which is good, except y/n keeps sourly wondering if the reason for that is the date he had.

He picks up a carton of eggs “I’m eggcited!” And places them in the cart. “Butter than ever.” Bucky says putting butter in there too. They’re at a different aisle when y/n notices him reaching for a jar of jelly.

“Don’t you dare-“

“Just don’t be jelly if they’ll give me more attention than they’ll give you.” He laughs.

“I should have never used a single pun in the grocery store around you. Hey, mango annoy someone else.” y/n laughs back, pointing at the fruit. She drags him away before he can grab the olives and say you know olive you.

There’s not much time left to set everything up when they get back, but as Bucky once called them, they’re a super duo. Y/n’s reaching for the wine glasses when the doorbell rings, and before she can make her way to the door, Bucky’s already answering. If he wasn’t into y/n so much, and if he didn’t have a girlfriend, he’d definitely go for her friends, he thinks and scolds himself right after.

“So you must the boyfriend y/n has been telling us so much about?” Wait, this is confusing.

“I’m n-“ Y/n quickly interrupts him.

“Yes! Guys, meet James, a man who is very much real, and very much my boyfriend, right?” Her hand wraps around his waist and she’s looking up at him with the act along or I’ll kill you kind of eyes. This is going to be fun.

“Yes ladies, please come in, it’s nice to meet you.” He gives them his signature smile, and as they pile into the living room, y/n pulls him aside to whisper “They can’t know I’m single.” Maybe if he wasn’t so excited about pretending to be her boyfriend, he would have heard the fact, y/n is not dating Steve.

The evening is hard to describe, because yes, the girls somewhat miss each other, however y/n can’t help, but notice the jabs they take at her for being an Avenger, and their wondering eyes at Bucky. He, on the other hand, is doing a great, too great, of a job at being her boyfriend. Anything she needs, he get up to get her, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist, before he’s pulling her onto his lap completely and to top it all, the language he’s been using is driving y/n crazy. She knows he’s enjoying this very much, but the phrases like would you like some more wine, darling? or is my baby comfortable on my lap? are affecting her more than she’d admit.

“So tell us, y/n, how did you score a man like this? I mean the constant fighting you’re doing can’t be good for that body. Does it look like a cutting board underneath the clothes?” Okay, maybe Natasha was right about them being bitches the first and the only time she met them.

“Believe me, everything is smooth and tight there.” Bucky winks, hands resting on top of her thighs; that evening he tries to say the most provocative words to keep her busy from noticing the thick bulge forming in his pants. She’s so busy at enjoying their jealous faces, it works.

Sunday

It was the most beautiful morning October in New York had to offer yet. Last night was a lot; maybe it’s time y/n reconsiders finding new friends, because to say that was exhausting is underestimating. It’s almost like y/n is on autopilot, letting her feet take her wherever they want. For better or worse, she ends up at Bucky’s favourite breakfast spot, noticing him and his girlfriend through the window. She’s mad, stuffing her things into her purse, and storming out of here, yet James is weirdly unbothered, slowly sipping his coffee; he waves his hand at her to join him when he notices y/n outside. A big plate of waffles is bound to make anyone’s morning better; they don’t talk while they eat. It’s only when the waitress refills both of their coffee mugs that y/n speaks up. “So what happened?”

“Told her this was never going to work out.”

“I’m sorry.” She’s really not. This is one of the best thing to happen all week, and besides Bucky doesn’t look sad, so it’s not bad to feel happy about it, right? He doesn’t answer her. When the waitress comes up with their check, he quickly snatches it, so y/n doesn’t have an opportunity to pay, and they both put on their jackets before leaving.

“Would you mind if we go to the Central Park for a bit? I know we have to get to the compound by 12pm, but-“

“Yes, why not, I’m sure Steve won’t get mad.” Bucky forces a smile, he won’t because you’re dating? He thinks. This is y/n he’s thinking about, so why is it so hard to just straight up ask if she’s dating Steve or not. Could it be the fact, he’s too scared to heard the words, I am? Bucky doesn’t recognise where they’re going; y/n moves through many parts of Central Park before arriving at an area he’s never seen or been in before. It’s very secluded, but how has he never been there before still blows his mind. “I love the view here.”

“Me too.” Bucky isn’t talking about the park.

“Look, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night, I should have told you, that they thought you were my boyfriend. I shouldn’t have been so scared to admit, that yes, I’m single, so what?” Wait what?

“What do you mean single?”

“Single, as in no boyfriend? Bucky, do you not know what single means?” y/n laughed. Oh, Bucky knew very well what that meant.

“So you’re not dating Steve?” He wanted to punch himself so hard at this very moment. What other parts of this has he missed, in fact, it totally wouldn’t of made sense for her to pretend Bucky was her boyfriend if she was dating Steve.

“No, I mean he is very attractive, but I don’t li-“ y/n turned her head to look at Bucky “why would you think I was dating Steve?” This was very confusing, however she couldn’t get excited just yet, so what that he thought she was dating Steve? It does not mean that’s the reason he never made a move on her; perhaps he didn’t even like her.

“The way you’re always touching, the looks you exchange. He’s practically undressing you with his eyes.”

“James, Steve is dating Natasha. Why else would she say she thought he was packing the most? Surely, she’s seen it.” They sat down on the only bench near by, y/n bringing her knee up to her chest out of nervousness. “Who do you think was the sexiest person in the room that night?” Bucky was avoiding her eyes.

“You.” Be a man James Barnes. “You’ve been the sexiest person in the room ever since we met.” He thought for a moment “That sounded better in my head, but you know what I mean.” Standing up, y/n pulls Bucky up with her; nerves always make her fidgety.

“Bucky, I like you.” He looks like he’s about to say something but y/n continues “I liked you being my fake boyfriend more than I should have.”

“To be honest, I was doing more than a fake boyfriend should have.” He chuckles. Taking his phone out of his jean pocket, Bucky dismisses Steve’s call, because whatever it is, can wait. “I like you too.” A comfortable silence falls between them, Bucky’s hands resting on y/n’s waist. In truth, the whole moment lasts about a couple seconds, but it feels like a lifetime to them both. Brushing the hair behind her ear, Bucky leans down and connects their lips together. It’s something worth waiting for; passionate, intense, and y/n cannot wait to run her hands through Bucky’s hair to bring him closer. “Perhaps next time they come visit, I’ll be your real boyfriend?” She does; lightly grabbing his hair she brings him closer.

“Perhaps you will.”

#bucky imagine #bucky x reader #bucky x reader angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky oneshot #bucky barnes one shot #bucky angst #bucky x reader fluff #bucky fluff

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kozozaki · 3 years

Text

Arson is a great pastime - Chapter 2

Y/n was on her way to L'manburg when she saw Tommy running in her direction. "Whoa, slow down Tommy, what's the hurry for?"

"I was, looking for you, actually," he seemed very out of breath. How long had he been running for?

“Why?”

“What? Can’t I just want to see a friend?” He sounded offended.

“Tommy, you always have ulterior motives," he scowled, knowing it was the truth.

“Fine,” Tommy huffed, “Y’know this new guy, Ranboo?”

She tensed for a split second, she was still wary of him. She should trust her older brother, but it was hard with everything he's done in the past, "Yeah."

"Well, y'know how George was nowhere to be seen during the- the war?" He hesitated, it had been over for a while but it was still a sensitive topic. She nodded in understanding, "I found out what he was doing! The motherfucker was building a house, in the middle of a fucking war!"

Tommy was outraged but Y/n couldn't help but laugh, "At least he wasn't sleeping for once!"

He smiled, "You laugh so fucking easily," he paused debating if he should say it or not, "Pussy."

Y/n instantaneously stopped laughing and looked up at the smug boy. She pulled her sword out of its sheath and positioned it so it would be only a few centimeters from his throat.

"Y/n, what are you doing with that sword?" His voice was shaky, obviously afraid. It was her turn to be cocky now, giving a sarcastic shrug, expertly avoiding his neck. "Okay okay, I'm sorry! Just, please, don't kill me!"

"Hmmm. Okay Tommy!" Tommy looked incredibly confused at the girl's compliance. He quickly realized that it was all an act to scare him. They are only a few people who she wouldn't hesitate to kill given the chance, and he wasn't one of them.

"Okay, so follow me," Y/n did, and was lead behind the portal and to a cozy looking, mushroom themed home, "George was building a home, in the middle of a war."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Of course he would…" She said in a slightly upset monotone voice.

"I have a plan to get back at him! That's why we need Ranboo, so if we get caught we can frame him!"

"Tommy! We can't just frame people! Are you insane?! What are we even gonna do that'll warrant framing someone?!" She panicked, Tommy never thought anything through.

"Calm down woman, so many questions! Just doing some minor robbing," Y/n started walking the other way, " maybe a little, lighting fires, as well." She turned back around, her eyes wide. Of course, he had to mention fire. Y/n was a bit of a pyromaniac, so much so that Dream's nickname for her was firebug.

"Oh, you fucker. I'll help, but only if we don't frame Ranboo. He can help, if he wants. If he's blamed for it first we don't interfere, but if either or both of us get pointed out first, we don't pin it on him, okay?"

Tommy nods, agreeing to her terms. "Okay, let's find this Ranboo first.”

“Oh, I think I saw him in the nether actually!” Y/n ran towards the portal, Tommy accompanying her.

They arrived and saw him right by the nether portal. "H-Hey, Ranboo," Tommy looked at her startled, she was never one to stutter. She looked at him with a look that screamed ‘Did I just do that?’ He nodded slowly, still looking confused.

“Hey, guys.” Ranboo had no idea why they were looking at each other like that.

“Oh, hello, Ranboo. We want you to help us with something.”

“Jeez, Tommy, straight to the point…” Y/n muttered.

“Don’t doubt me Y/n.” He leaned towards her ear, only a couple of inches.

“Sorry, Tommy.” As she finished her sentence, Ranboo pulled out a book and wrote something. She was curious but didn’t want to be rude.

“What do you want my help with, Y/n and Tommy?”

“First off, it’s Tommy and Y/n, not Y/n and Tommy,” Y/n gave him a quick jab in the side with her elbow, he winced but carried on, ignoring her sharp glare, “Also, come with us to my house, we’ll tell you.”

“I don’t know why we’re going to Tommy’s house, but it’s safe, I’m pretty sure.”

“‘I’m pretty sure?’ Why aren’t you completely sure? Should I be concerned?” Ranboo questioned.

“What is with you guys and questions?”

“Nah, there isn’t really any reason to be concerned, just be on edge, who knows what the hell Tommy does in his free time.”

Tommy huffed in annoyance toward Y/n’s teasing. They were at Tommy’s home. Tommy asked Ranboo where he wanted to go, and he chose the lair. “Ranboo, I say we rob George.”

“I- Why would we rob him?” Ranboo asked. The h/c girl averted her eyes, starting to regret agreeing to this, or rather, starting to regret it more than she did a few minutes ago.

“Right, you’re new here. Just simple payback Ranboo. You see, we had a war almost 2 weeks ago, and George didn’t show up, at all. And, earlier today, I found out what he was doing, instead of participating in a war. He was building a goddamn house. Now, we won’t destroy anything, we’ll just steal a few things. Y/n will light a few fires, not his house though, just a few trees that are around, they’re far enough away from each other, we won’t start a forest fire. We just want minor payback.”

“That sounds, better? But, why do you want me to help?”

“Ranboo let’s face it, Y/n is probably sick and tired of me, she needs more friends.”

“That sounds incredibly sad, are you okay?” Y/n appreciated how genuine his concern was.

“Yeah, I’m pretty okay. My brother is kinda a psychopath, and the man that was like a substitute older brother to me was killed. Other than that, I’d say I’m doing a-okay, Ranboo,” she didn’t realize how that sounded until she looked up and saw Ranboo’s slightly perplexed posture. “I-I’m sorry! That sounded really bitter and sarcastic, I’m actually fine, those things are just, kind of hard to comprehend, still,�� she talked slower towards the end of her sentence.

Ranboo noticed this, “H-Hey, it’s fine, Y/n, I understand, it didn’t sound as mean as you think, it’s okay.” He smiled, which she could hardly see through his mask, but she knew it was there. She smiled back.

“Okay, let’s go.” She said.

Once they arrived, Y/n strode towards a tall spruce tree. She pulled out her flint and steel and stared at it for a moment in dispute with herself. If she did this, what would happen? Would they actually be caught? What if Dream found out? She rubbed the flint against a rock to see if it still worked. A couple of sparks flew before it set the leaf she was holding with her left hand on fire. She hissed when the burning touched her skin slightly. She hadn’t done this for a while.

“No time like the present,” Y/n whispered to no one but herself. She took a step closer to the tree and with a swift cutting motion, the bark of the tree erupted into hot orange flares. She backed away with a sadistic smirk. She looked around for a brief second, surveying to see if anyone was near, only to see that there was another fire a few meters away from her’s. One that was burning parts of George’s home.

She ran into the house to see what they were doing. She saw crying obsidian on the walls, derogatory messages on signs, but most notably patches of netherrack on the floor, each covered in fire. “What the hell? This is why I was put in charge of the burning!”

“What’re you on about Y/n? I’ve got this!” Tommy sounded so sure of himself, unaware of what he had done.

“Obviously you don’t, George’s house is burning on the outside!” She yelled at him.

Tommy looked at her with wide eyes, she’s only ever been this angry at Dream. There was a long silence, during which she visibly calmed down, the look in her eyes was of lament, her body was visibly shaking, purely from her regret of everything that happened in the past 5 minutes. “Guys we have to go,” Tommy said quickly, exiting the grieved home.

Y/n nodded but didn’t move. Tommy was already over by the jungle trees waiting for them. Ranboo noticed Y/n wasn’t moving. He placed a hand on the top of her back, “C’mon Y/n, if we wait too long to leave they’ll know it was us, okay?”

“Okay, Ranboo,” she said just hardly loud enough for him to hear. They walked through the forest to avoid being seen until they go to Tommy’s base and inside his lair. They stashed everything they stole under the stone flooring.

“We should go talk to Niki and Puffy for an alibi,” Tommy suggested.

“You guys can go do that. Can I stay here for a while, Tommy? I don’t feel so good,” the girl said, her voice trembling.

“You can stay here as long as you like Y/n, don’t worry about it,” Tommy gave her a sad smile to which she returned, taking comfort in the pinkish-purple couch, which was surprisingly warm for being underground.

Tommy walked over to the ladder, Ranboo following him closely. Tommy was already above ground, but Ranboo waited at the bottom of the ladder. “Bye, Y/n. Don’t worry, if anything happens, I know it wasn’t your fault. Just don’t beat yourself up over it, please.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Y/n responded, “Thank you, Ranboo. I-I’ll try not to.”

“I don’t want to come back to you being gone, or having a panic attack. So please, avoid doing that.”

“Hurry up Ranboo!”

She laughed quietly and nodded, “Goodbye, Ranboo.”

“Goodbye, Y/n for real this time.”

She watched as he climbed up the ladder. If he was a spy, she would be more upset than she would’ve been originally. She doubted it though.

----------

alkjfdakslfjkl, this took forever. But I’m actually kind of happy with how it turned out?

#ranboo x reader #ranboo #dream smp x reader #mcyt x reader #dream smp #mcyt

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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years

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Oh god loved so so much the best friend siblign AU and I wonder if, when u got time and u feel like it, would you write how the story goes, i imagine all the family quite happy bc the really get close to Jake they like him and love how happy makes Amy and the fact now he is one more of the family but a super mad and angry Jorge who doesnt like them so they fight for their love IM SORRY I JUST GOT SO EXCITED IT WAS AMAZING

aw don't apologise for being excited!!! That's always the best reaction to a fic or hc!! - in true Peraltiago fashion Jake + Amy decide to keep their... thing a secret for a while until they really figure it out, because they sure as heck did NOT go on three dates before that smooch fest at the diner, and tbh only the knowledge that Charles+Gina+Rosa are still snoring at the apartment back there keeps them from racing back and uh, making it official 😏 - (Jake thinks about his empty dorm room for a hot second but then realises that Charles might come back in the morning and there is NO WAY he's making Amy go through that) - they never manage to go on an actual date though because Amy is always busy with school (double major yooo), so mostly Jake just hangs out at Amy+Rosa's place... the same way he did before... except for when Rosa leaves and he can finally cuddle his non-girlfriend-girlfriend (titles have not yet been chosen) - they only go officially bf / gf when Amy gets hit on at a party (by Teddy) and immediately realises she actually has a NO THANK YOU response ready now as Jake rounds the corner with their drinks! "Sorry, I'm here with my boyfriend actually" she says and gives him a quick kiss and he's dumbstruck for a second but then immediately joins in - their friends find out before the family does, though, simply because they are shit at hiding so the trio ends up stumbling in on various moments. Charles sees them holding hands somewhere on campus and thank god he got the mildest reveal because even that almost makes him faint. Gina does not believe for one second that the hickeys on Jake's neck are 'bruises' from some sort of 'ultimate frisbee' mistake and basically pins him down until he tells her the truth. Rosa, rather unceremoniously, simply runs into Jake in her hallway. At 3am. Both in their underwear. Good thing they lived together before and were actually kind of used to that. - when Jorge finds out, he's not really angry,mostly just... confused. Like, what? Jake? And his sis? Aren't they.. friends? When did this happen? Also kind of not cool, dude, you shoulda asked your friend, her brother, before you- "Oh so now you get to have a say in what I do and don't with my life? Like we're back in the 50s?" No Amy that's obviously not what I mean I just-.... fine okay you can do whatever you want - Matteo is absolutely overjoyed when Amy tells him. Like YES, you go girl, get you some nice college slice of beef cake, if you hadn't I probably woulda tried my turn next Thanksgiving (this is all shouted into speaker phone when she calls him just to make Jake feel extra awkward... the not-twins are little troublemakers if they want to) - and, well, once Matteo knows, the whole family knows. The brothers are mostly happy about it (except for David but who gives a fuck about that), because yeah Jake is a great guy and they already involuntary tested him for all Santiago-related situations, but they're definitely going to test him a bit more the next time he visits (he's been re-invited to Thanksgiving before all of this anyway, and Camila was considering Nochebuena too because he told them how his family didn't ever really do Christmas so he'd probably stay at college during winter break... which is an absolute no-go in the eyes of the family matriarch) - to be honest, it's mostly Camila (and Victor) who have a bit of a problem with it. Yes, Jake was a wonderful guest, as chaotic as he was, and yes, he's become somewhat part of their family already, but that was as Jorge's friend. Being their only daughter's boyfriend, of which so far she has had only two before him, is a whole different ballgame. And what got overlooked as 'quirks' of his is now harshly judged as 'possible problems'. - so when Thanksgiving 2 : family harder with a vengeance comes around, Jake is absolutely terrified of making a bad impression. Even if he's already made an impression on all of them, several times, over the past two years. But still. He tries to be on his best behaviour (and is immediately teased and taunted for it by

the Santiabros) and at the same time tries to keep a friendly distance from Amy to be inappropriate (and is immediately rebuked by his girlfriend basically hanging off of him like a koala the entire time). - Victor takes him aside for the Shovel Talk after dinner, when the rest of the family is gathering on the porch like usual. Jake expects about 7 more Shovel Talks to come the next two days they're there, but this one is obviously the worst, because Camila joins in. He's pretty much this close to signing some sort of contract promising he will never even bend one hair on their daughter's head when Amy barges in and saves him by dragging him off to the porch swing. - And then Jake gets his Thanksgiving dream of Amy cuddling into him under the blankets while having a beer with the Santiabros, and the way he holds onto her to make sure she doesn't fall off the swing, and the way she falls asleep so quickly and so deeply in a way she never has when anyone else of the family shared the swing with her, makes the Santiabros realise that their Shovel Talks are absolutely not needed.

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #Peraltiago #Jake Peralta #Amy Santiago #headcanons #AU

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buck-buck-boose · 3 years

Text

I'll Love You 'Til I Die

Masterlist | Playlist

Summary: A Brooklyn schoolgirl fell in love with James Buchanan Barnes at the tender age of nine. With this love she made a vow, promising to love him until her very last breath.

Pairing: Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Language, mild violence

Word Count: 4.6k

Author's Note: Big things are happening y'all

Chapter Twenty-One: The Super Soldier

March 19, 1943

Dawn crept up on Camp Lehigh in a thick haze of fog, the chirp of crickets its only whispered greeting. A late-winter frost bloomed across what little grass remained, the majority having been trampled underfoot by platoon after platoon of soldiers. Winter was quickly fading, giving way to a promising spring, but the bitter chill still latched onto those dewy mornings to remind Camp Lehigh’s inhabitants of the cold season they’d just nearly escaped.

Although sessions of training were not due to begin for hours, warm bodies were stirred from slumber in their barracks, meeting the cold, stale air of their poorly-insulated lodgings. The nurse’s barracks was lit by a lamp's dim glow, which splayed a flush of golden light across the room. Five women quietly and nimbly dressed, none of them wishing to break the silence that balanced among them; the early morning was sacred to them, as it seemed to be the only time apart from nighttime in which one could be alone with one’s thoughts.

Lottie deftly pinned her mousy curls beneath her white cap, caring little for their arrangement or appearance. Once upon a time, she’d tamed her curls with gentle finger waves and carefully pinned back strands, desperate to look the part of a fair woman like Ginger Rogers. It was a quieter, more joyful time in which she had the time and desire to put ample effort into her appearance. How simpler life in Brooklyn seemed, in retrospect. She only had to care for Steve or Bucky’s wounds, usually from some street brawl instigated by Steve and ended by Bucky; now she had soldiers to care for. Soldiers who would one day be covered in great, gaping wounds, some so deeply ingrained within their souls that neither the highest of morphine dosages nor the strongest suture could soothe them.

Lottie made swift work of fastening her blue cape around her neck, situating it so that the inner red lining wasn’t peeking out. In her peripherals, Mary smoothed a hand down her white skirt in a weak attempt at combatting its wrinkles while Betty gave her face a once-over in a battered compact that she always seemed to have on her person. Lottie was downright envious of her ever-red lip and sultry gaze, they seemed to turn the heads of all the young privates on base, which earned them more than a few reprimands. It was only a few weeks ago that Betty had explained her reasoning for putting such effort into her physical charm, even in the middle of the war.

“Nurses are supposed to provide comfort, care, right?” She sat across from Lottie at their table in the mess hall, smoke curling from a freshly lit cigarette resting between her fingers. She puffed on the cigarette for a moment and slowly exhaled the smoke, “Well these boys have been stuck in a war for over a year now and they probably haven’t seen a pretty face in a while. They’re probably missing their sweethearts, fiancées, you name it. Either way, they’ve gotta be awful lonely out there, so what’s the harm in being that girl with the pretty face that can make them a little less lonesome?”

Before anyone could raise a question, she continued, “I’m not talking affairs or anything illicit, sometimes they just need a pretty face and a nice voice to remind ‘em of home, to ease that loneliness.”

Betty’s little sermon drew Lottie’s thoughts to Bucky. He was a fiercely loyal man who would stop at nothing to protect or care for his closest companions. For his own sake, Lottie hoped that he’d found a sort of comradery with his fellow soldiers, a bond to strengthen him while they were separated by an ocean. He’d always had a habit of flashing her his trademark grin and ruffling her hair, all while declaring something silly like “You ‘n Steve are all I need, Little Lottie. It’s always gonna be the three of us, ‘til the end of the line.” Lottie could only hope that Bucky had found a bond like theirs with his fellow soldiers as a source of comfort and a respite from loneliness.

“Lottie dear, Dr. Erskine’s waiting for us.”

It seemed that the other nurses had filtered out of the barracks as Lottie was lost in thought. Only Gladys remained, waiting for her expectantly at the doorway. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled back in a tight bun, with her white cap nestled daintily atop her head, held in place with a handful of pins.

“Apologies, Gladys, I’m coming.” Gladys gave her a small smile as she caught up, nerves keeping her from forming her true toothy grin. All the nurses were nervous, to be truthful, as it was a significant day. Their serum was finally being put to use; they had found their first Super Soldier in Steve Rogers.

When Lottie had received the news of his selection to receive the serum, she’d nearly fainted with shock. Steve was a man with a heart of gold, she’d always known that, but it only served to heighten her self-doubt with regards to the serum’s efficacy. If the serum went awry as it did with Schmidt, Lottie wasn’t sure how she would be able to live with herself.

Dr. Erskine and Colonel Phillips’ debriefing as to why Steve had been chosen to become America’s first Super Soldier was a source of comfort, though. The two men had cornered the five nurses outside their barracks right as they were heading inside to turn in for the night.

The scientist had been the first to speak, “Ladies, we wanted to catch you as soon as possible. Colonel Phillips and I have decided upon our candidate for the serum. Private Steve Rogers will report to our facility in Brooklyn promptly at ten hundred hours tomorrow. We will need to depart camp at six hundred hours so we have abundant time to become accustomed to the equipment that will be in use. Mr. Stark will be joining us there.”

Lottie was sure there’d been spots in her vision, the announcement had nearly knocked all the wind out of her.

“I expect you ladies to uphold the same sense of secrecy and vigilance that you’ve had up until this point,” Colonel Phillips interjected, “This is only the beginning of our mission. We must continue to protect Project Rebirth, no matter how hopeless it may seem.” His voice was laced with bitterness, obviously doubtful of Steve’s abilities.

Nancy furrowed her brow, “Forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Private Rogers the ninety-pound asthmatic? Why him and not someone more… reliable, like Private Hodge?”

Lottie bristled slightly, as she did not take kindly to critical remarks regarding her friends.

“Need I remind you that the serum is not focused only on the physical?” Dr. Erskine fixed Nancy with a level gaze, “He is not the most well-built soldier, I admit that. But as you have seen yourself, the serum is capable of incredible cellular change that will only strengthen him. It will also amplify the qualities that he already has inside of himself. He has proven himself to be a good soldier and a worthy recipient of the serum.” Lottie glanced at Colonel Phillips, whose face was twisted into an awkward grimace, though he did not comment.

“During training today, he exhibited qualities of strength and humility that I have yet to see in any other soldiers thus far. Would Private Hodge throw himself over a grenade to protect his fellow soldiers? He showed me today that he would not, but Private Rogers would.”

Colonel Phillips muttered something along the lines of, “Still skinny,” though the bitterness seemed to fade. All of the nurses came to accept the news, trading in their expressions of shock and concern for ones of uncertainty and anxiety. It seemed that reality had hit for all five of the nurses at once; their work had finally come to fruition, making the road ahead even more daunting than before.

There was little conversation in the nurse’s compartment on the train to Brooklyn. There were moments of brief chatter among the women, but they were all too lost in their thoughts to carry on a proper conversation. Lottie shifted in her seat every few minutes, the poorly-cushioned seat providing little comfort during the duration of the train ride. Beside her, Gladys flicked through a stack of paper, which she’d pulled out of a manila folder that had been stamped with the word “Confidential” in large red letters. Ever the levelheaded academic of the group, she’d decided to look over their notes on the serum and its activation procedure one last time.

Across from her, Mary and Nancy were busying themselves with embroidery, an activity that a few of the nurses had picked up to improve their abilities with stitching. Lottie pictured a frayed handkerchief in her mind’s eye, a tattered old thing covered in clumsy pink flowers with a “JBB” monogram stitched carefully onto its corner. She wondered if Bucky had taken it with him overseas. He’d always kept it on his person back in Brooklyn, “Never know when a dame’s gonna go all misty eyed on me,” he’d say, humor in his eyes. There wouldn’t be many women for him to comfort overseas, but maybe he’d need it for his tears someday.

Betty sat to the right of Gladys, scanning the pages of a battered copy of Gone With the Wind. She’d never struck Lottie as a bookworm, but more often than not, she was the last of the women to fall asleep at night, usually engrossed in a novel for an hour or two past lights-out.

Two hours passed uneventfully; its monotony was only interrupted by the transferring from one train to another. Lottie’s heart seemed to pound in her ears as they approached Brooklyn, the tall buildings in her window becoming more and more familiar to her. Her heart swelled at the sight of it; she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the city until she returned after all that time. Of course, she’d been gone from the city for longer while she was in nursing school, but it tugged at her heartstrings even more than before because a damn war was what kept her from her beloved borough.

It wasn’t long before the train had arrived, initiating a flurry of movement out of the train car and toward a car that sat at the curb, waiting for them. All five nurses clambered inside, with Dr. Erskine following behind in his car. The car ride was a short one, though Lottie took the time to observe her surroundings; she wanted so desperately to drink in the familiar alleys and side streets before she had to return to Camp Lehigh, to war.

Their car stopped abruptly in front of a cozy antique shop; one she’d never paid much attention to. Dr. Erskine’s car had arrived just a few moments before theirs, so they followed him inside. Once inside, they were faced with an aged woman, who greeted them with a casual question, though her eyes betrayed a deeper glimmer of suspicion, “Wonderful weather this morning, isn't it?”

Dr. Erskine responded promptly, “Yes, but I always carry an umbrella.”

They were quickly led through a false bookcase, which hid a vast laboratory full of all that was needed to complete the transformation that would occur in a few hours. There were dozens of monitors and gauges, all for measuring Steve’s vitals and the Vita-Rays that were intended to activate the serum within his cells. In the center of it all, there was a bed on which Steve would lie, and when injected with the serum, the bed would be surrounded by a chamber while the Vita-Rays were projected into him.

Lottie and her peers stood at the top of the stairs, taking it all in, while Dr. Erskine descended the steps toward a control panel. He glanced back at them briefly, “Shall we all get accustomed to this now, ladies?”

Over the past few hours, Lottie had tired herself by calibrating various instruments, readying the equipment, and arranging several vials of serum within the transformation chamber. Throughout that time, doctors, higher-ranking soldiers, and members of the SSR slowly filtered into the room, some even gathering in the observation booth that looked down on them from above. She knew that Steve was due to arrive with Agent Carter at any moment. Frankly, she was terrified— mortified, even.

Howard Stark flitted about the laboratory, checking up on the various devices that would be used throughout the process. The Vita-Ray chamber was his brainchild, so a majority of his morning was spent double and triple-checking its minute parts and its stability.

At precisely 10 o’clock in the morning, Agent Carter and Steve stepped into the laboratory, two metal doors held open by guards for their entrance. Silence quickly descended upon the scientists and personnel who had been moving about the room in a sort of organized chaos. Lottie knew that most of them were looking at Steve in confusion, and in some cases dismay, but she made sure to send her best friend a reassuring smile. Even if the bullheaded scientists in the room were doubtful of his abilities, Lottie was with him. She believed in him. Her only doubts were in her abilities.

The staff quickly returned to their business as Agent Carter and Steve descended the steps and approached the center of the laboratory to meet with Dr. Erskine. They shared a brief greeting before Steve was ordered to remove his hat, tie, and shirt; Mary waited beside him with a kind smile, accepting his shed clothing. Agent Carter stood a few feet behind Steve, respectfully averting her gaze as he partially disrobed. Lottie took a special interest in their interactions, examining the way in which she treated Steve. She didn’t ignore or belittle him as some women did, she treated him with more dignity and respect. For that, Lottie was grateful.

Lottie busied herself with sterilizing several glass syringes as she impatiently awaited the initiation of the transformation. She could just barely make out a conversation that Dr. Erskine and Steve had shared about schnapps, but before she could quite figure out what was said, the scientist turned to the inventor beside him, “Mr. Stark, how are your levels?”

“Levels at one hundred percent. We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready as we’ll ever be.” Mr. Stark stood in front of the chamber where Steve now lay, projecting an air of confidence despite an uncomfortable look in his eye.

Agent Carter was dismissed to the booth to join Colonel Phillips, who was seated with several other seemingly important men that Lottie didn’t care to know. Dr. Erskine addressed the crowd in the booth using a microphone, explaining the purpose of Project Rebirth. Meanwhile, Lottie and her fellow nurses prepared the Vita-Ray chamber; she’d just situated the paddles on his chest when his gaze met hers. They’d been in a similar position so many times before. There were countless times over the past decade when she and Bucky had shown up at his apartment, soup and medicine in hand, to make him feel better during his latest bout of sickness. Bucky would always sit on one side of the bed, leaning on the mattress as he tried to distract Steve with idle conversation. She always kept vigil on the opposite side of the bed from Bucky, pulling Steve’s sheets up to his chin no matter how much he complained of the heat. She would never have to do that again, Lottie realized, as the serum would (hopefully) strengthen his immune system to the point that it would nearly be impossible to get sick. He wouldn’t need her or Bucky to look after him anymore. It pained her only slightly; she was overjoyed that he would be strengthened and healed by the serum, but it felt like the end of an era for her. She wasn’t truly needed anymore.

When the scientist’s speech to the booth had concluded, Lottie disinfected Steve’s shoulder and injected a syringe of penicillin into it; beforehand, she gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, warning him for the pain of the jab. She felt him sigh in relief, “That wasn’t so bad.”

Lottie bit back a giggle while Dr. Erskine looked down at Steve with a furrowed brow, “That was penicillin.” The scientist gave her a look and without missing a beat, began the countdown.

Five

The doctors and scientists that were scattered around the laboratory rushed to their control panels, monitoring Steve’s vitals and the Vita-Ray levels that would soon be harnessed for the serum’s activation.

Four

Those that were observing from the booth looked at the scene below with bated breath; they either anticipated either a predictable failure or an unlikely success.

Three

The five nurses gathered around the Vita-Ray chamber, monitoring the serum infusion. Two mechanical arms latched onto Steve’s biceps and embedded several syringes deep into his muscle.

Two

Dr. Erskine placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. Lottie met Steve’s gaze once more, she was that little girl at his bedside, sitting her vigil for one last time.

One

A switch was flipped and several syringes of the serum were injected into Steve’s system. Lottie could already see the strain it was putting on his body, his face contorted and he grunted in pain as he felt the serum begin its work in his body.

When given his signal, Mr. Stark flipped a lever to encase Steve in the Vita-Ray chamber, which maneuvered Steve into a vertical position before he was completely locked into the machine. Dr. Erskine knocked on the metal, “Steven? Can you hear me?”

A muffled response came from within the metal, “It’s probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?” Lottie snorted, only Steve would make a terrible joke at a time like that.

The scientist faced Mr. Stark, “We will proceed.” Below him, Mr. Stark slowly turned a dial and donned a pair of goggles. Lottie and her peers followed suit, as the luminosity of the Vita-Rays would cause vision damage if their eyes were left uncovered.

Lottie worried her lip as Mr. Stark slowly increased the radiation levels by turning a wheel that was mounted on the control panel. Next to him, a doctor carefully monitored Steve’s vitals; he reported that they were all normal, which calmed Lottie a tad.

At around the seventy percent mark, cries began to ring out from within the Vita-Ray chamber. It was as if screams were being torn from Steve’s throat, they were so hoarse and raw. Dr. Erskine rushed to the chamber while Peggy quickly descended from the booth, urging the personnel to cease the radiation. Lottie stood in shock, stuck in an internal impasse. She worried deeply for Steve’s safety, she always had and always would. Simultaneously, she needed to trust in the years’ worth of work she’d put into Project Rebirth. She and her fellow nurses had worked day after day, slaving over the Super Soldier Serum and Vita-Ray theories to develop the perfect transformation method. If she couldn’t trust her abilities and research, what could she trust?

But when Steve’s cries seemed to echo throughout the laboratory, she knew that his safety superseded whatever pride she had in her research. Lottie had just opened her mouth to call for an end to it when Steve insisted from within the Vita-Ray chamber, “Don’t! I can do this!”

A burst of warmth bloomed in Lottie’s chest; Steve trusted their work and he was fighting to see it through. Mr. Stark continued to raise the radiation levels until they had reached one hundred percent. The staff and observers from the booth could only look on in shock and wonder as the light from within the chamber continued to glow brighter and it began to give off a steady humming noise.

Without warning, sparks began to spray out from the control panels as a result of the copious amounts of electricity being funneled into the transformation. Lottie cried out, ducking down with Mary to avoid the sparks that showered down on them from overhead. Across from them, Nancy, Gladys, and Betty assumed similar positions, clutching their white caps as they attempted to shield themselves from the onslaught.

As quickly as it started, the sparks ceased, as did the humming of the Vita-Ray chamber. The laboratory was far dimmer than it was earlier, with the light from the radiation gone, and nearly half the bulbs in the laboratory having been blown out.

All eyes were on the Vita-Ray chamber as they all awaited the final result of Project Rebirth. The chamber hissed open and released a gust of air, revealing an exhausted-looking Steve.

Lottie could barely believe it, not only was he exhausted-looking, but it seemed as if he’d gained nearly 8 inches of height and a few dozen pounds of muscle. Gone was that scrawny blond boy who’d gotten lost in crowds far too easily, here was a man— a Super Soldier —who was perfectly enhanced on a cellular level.

The SSR agents and politicians who were previously gathered in the booth rushed to meet with Steve, barely able to contain their excitement. They clambered over each other, all of them desperate to be the first one to speak with America’s first Super Soldier.

In all the chaos, Betty had sidled up to her, her jaw nearly touching the floor, “Hot damn, Lottie Green. Hot damn.” She ogled at Steve as she took in his new physique. Lottie rolled her eyes, “Just because he’s got more muscle doesn’t mean he’ll be able to talk to you any better. Or that he won’t step on your toes if you get him to dance.”

Steve stood in the middle of a crowd of men, though Agent Carter stood in front of him, attempting to look at anything but his chest.

“I think you might want this, Stevie,” Lottie moved in to stand beside Agent Carter and offered him a shirt, which he accepted gratefully. He smiled down at her gratefully, murmuring a quiet, “Thank you, Lottie.”

How odd it was to be looking up at him. It was certainly something that Lottie wasn’t used to, she’d gotten quite used to looking down at him, in fact. By age sixteen, she’d gained about two inches on him, and though he was loath to admit it, she knew it pained him to be the shortest of the three of them. Luckily for him, his new height delegated her as the most diminutive of the Brooklyn trio by far.

Amid the jubilation following Project Rebirth’s success, grave mistakes were made. Gladys had left her manila folder of notes— all the notes that the nurses had ever taken during their research —on one of the control panels closest to the stairway, just close enough to the exit to be snatched up by a discreet hand. An extra vial of Super Soldier serum sat in its case, at the ready for its eventual use; it stood unguarded and unwatched.

The once-unassuming Fred Clemson hung back from the crowd, a lighter in hand. Dr. Erskine was the first to notice his position apart from everyone else; the scientist opened his mouth as if to say something, but before he could form a sentence, Clemson had flicked open the lighter and triggered an explosion from the observation booth.

Screams rang out from the middle of the laboratory as glass rained down on them. Sparks even worse than before began assaulting them and left stinging burns in their wake. Lottie grunted as she felt minuscule shards of glass tear at and become embedded in her skin; it would surely be a pain to treat such small cuts and remove the pieces of glass later on. It was shocking, really, how quickly the mood of the room had shifted. Just moments before, she’d been looking at Steve in awe, fully processing all that the serum had accomplished. Her sentiments of excitement and pride quickly evaporated, replaced by a growing sense of panic and dread.

The force of the explosion had thrown Lottie and some of the other nurses to the ground, so she scrambled to her feet in an attempt to take action against the man. It was all in vain, for as soon as she regained her footing, all she saw was the bespectacled man diving through the crowd to grab the last vial of Super Soldier serum and the thick manila envelope that Gladys had brought with her. Lottie’s stomach dropped in terror; she opened her mouth to cry out for backup, but Dr. Erskine was one step ahead of her. He commanded the man to stop, but the only response he received was several gunshots in the chest.

Deep red stains formed across the front of his shirt and seeped into his lab coat, his vibrant blood was a sickening contrast to the crisp white color of his lab coat. The scientist fell to the ground, his legs sprawled out before him and his arms at his side. Lottie knew that there was no hope for him— there were no exit wounds and she was more than certain that at least one of his lungs had been punctured. His breathing was labored, his chest heaving with every inhale and exhale. Lottie didn’t need to perform an examination to know that the wounds would be fatal. There was no time for an examination anyway, gunshots continued to ring out across the laboratory, and Agent Carter was in hot pursuit of the offender.

Mary looked at Lottie for some sort of reassurance of direction, her mouth agape, “Lottie, he's— he’s gonna die if we don’t do somethin’. C’mon, we’ve gotta help him.” Her voice came out in a whimper and her hands shook as she searched the floor for any fallen bandages. She took Mary’s trembling hands into her clammy ones, “Mary, look at his breathing. You know there’s nothing we can do for him now.”

She knew it was a heartbreaking thing to say, but Mary was a brilliant nurse; she already knew all the signs of a punctured lung. Lottie knew that she was having a hard time processing the information due to the shock that was no doubt obscuring her senses and rational thought. What Mary needed was a calm voice to guide her back from the brink of hysteria, a friend to bring her back to reality.

The nurses learned a jarring lesson about reality’s harsh nature that day; they learned of its cycle of gains and losses, successes and failures. The five nurses of Project Rebirth had achieved all that they’d been dreaming of for more than a year, they’d proven themselves to be reliable and even stellar researchers in their field. It had all been ripped away from them in a matter of moments, with the loss of their notes and serum, as well as the brutal death of Dr. Erskine. All they could do was clutch each other helplessly as they watched Steve follow the man in hot pursuit— the man who had stolen everything from them. Lottie, Mary, Betty, Nancy, and Gladys had certainly entered a new era in their careers as nurses, an era of uncertainty. With nothing left from Project Rebirth besides the Super Soldier himself, their futures were left in limbo until the Strategic Scientific Reserve could figure out what to do with them next.

39 notes · View notes