#like fr whenever i feel sad i have to eat up my feelings and cry on my.own bc im afraid theyre not going to respond well to me telling them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr is used by 21% of adults online aged 18-29 years.

#like fr whenever i feel sad i have to eat up my feelings and cry on my.own bc im afraid theyre not going to respond well to me telling them

a-hazbin-reader · 3 months

Note

I hope this is an okay thing to ask for but could you do headcanons of Alastor with female reader on her- time of the month?? (Kinda wondering what to be like for him with all the blood ya know???) 🙇🏻‍♀️ please, thank you!

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Alastor being nasty, canon cannibalism mentioned, menstruation(wish I got a TW for that in real life fr)

Description: ☝️⬆️

Can literally smell it coming before you even have a chance to check your calendar

Creep

He's like a fucking shark, smelling you from miles away

Maybe it's his affection for you but you're the one person he reacts this way to, he's fine around anyone else on their period

If you forget then he's not going to remind you because he likes waking up to the smell of your blood

Don't worry though he'll take care of the sheets and your clothes, he's got you bby girl

Tbh Alastor is practically starving whenever your period starts, the coppery smell making his mouth water constantly

He's sipping tea and you walk by?? Oops, the cup is crushed in his hands and he's sitting there with tea and broken glass all over him

He wants to devour you all the time

Definitely just finds opportunities to bite you and draw blood so he can stave off his desires

Don't worry it feels good

Eats at Cannibal Town more often

Other than that, he tends to pamper you when you're on your period

You're craving something??? Don't worry, Husk or Niffty will go get it for you! He'll snuggle you while you wait

Wait actually that looks kinda good give him a bite

Fuck off

He steals a bite anyways, forcing you to feed him a little nibble

Thank you love

You're experiencing cramps?? Do you want him to massage the area for you? You want a hot water bottle? He's got you

You just want to cuddle and be held? He can spare some time for that, just let him close the door first

Bby please he has a reputation to uphold

Loves when you have mood swings and snap at the others, encourages your anger

He's a shit stirrer

He literally just likes poking the bear and pointing you in his current victim's direction

"My dear, I thought you knew that Angel ate your sweets..."

As long as it's not directed at him

If you turn your anger on him then his ears fold back and he finds an excuse to run off

"I'm sorry my dear but Charlie is calling for me! We'll have to continue this conversation for another time!"

Coward

"Alastor, Y/N is looking for you-"

"I'M NOT HERE"

If your mood changes to sadness and you start crying then he panics and freezes up

"I-uh-I'm...sorry..?"

Makes awkward grabby motions at you then stops

He hates seeing you upset but he's an asshole and doesn't know what to do, doesn't want to make it worse

Idk if he's ever made a genuine attempt to make someone he cares about feel better

Alastor doesn't want to be the reason you're crying

Will just ask you what he can do to make it better, gripping your chin so that you have to look at him

He's serious

Whatever you ask of him he'll do it and he'll do it himself, no sending someone in his place and no fuss

Is visibly relieved once you're calm again, rubbing your back and letting out a sigh

Alastor is as attentive as he can bring himself to be when you're on your period, but you still have to put up with a lot of his shit

I hope this is what you were asking for 🥺

#alastor hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader

976 notes · View notes

profectua · 4 months

Text

》ＢＬＵＥＬＯＣＫＨｅａｄｃａｎｏｎｓ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ; ɴᴏɴᴇ! ᴘᴜʀᴇ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴍᴀᴏ

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ; ɪꜱᴀɢɪ, ʙᴀᴄʜɪʀᴀ, ᴄʜɪɢɪʀɪ, ᴋᴜɴɪɢᴀᴍɪ, ɴᴀɢɪ, ʀᴇᴏ, ʙᴀʀᴏᴜ, ʀɪɴ, ʜɪᴏʀɪ, ᴋᴀʀᴀꜱᴜ, ʏᴜᴋɪᴍɪʏᴀ, ᴏᴛᴏʏᴀ

Isagi: Back when he was younger, he had a phase where he would do the dab whenever he scored a goal. It could be completely outdated too and people would cringe at him LMAO. Might’ve also done fortnite dance (he doesn’t even play fortnite). His teammates try to go over and celebrate but he randomly breaks into the orange justice (he can’t even do it properly) so they end up just standing there like 🧍. Let him have his moment I guess???

Bachira: He was one of those kids that played with insects outside or something (speaking from experience) 😭. You’d catch him playing outside and there were 3 worms, each with different names. He probably gave them sad backstories too. The neighbors thought he was weird as hell. If someone pointed it out, he’d be like “Stop being rude to them! They’re my friends!” And he’d actually look pissed off, exactly like this emoji 😠. If he comes back to the same spot only to find that they aren’t there, he’ll come home crying 😭 🙏 Please help him.

Chigiri: He’s canonically a moody guy…I feel like he ‘decides’ his mood for the day ykyk 😭. If it’s a clear sky, sunny day, he’ll choose to be happy but if he wakes up and it’s raining, he decides that he’s gonna be angry. Always ends up breaking character though. If he's laughing and suddenly remembers that he's supposed to be angry, he’ll immediately put on a blank expression again like 😐 and the people around him think they did something wrong LMAOO. Like??? What happened bro???

Kunigami: His go-to pose for photos is the thumbs up or the peace sign and HE LOOKS SO STIFF. He’s just there like 🙂 ✌️. He looks so awkward pls 😭. His little sister is trying so hard not to laugh and he’s just like ???? What's so funny?? If he’s accidentally photo-bombing and realises too late, he’ll strike that EXACT POSE until someone tells him to move cus his brain couldn’t process it ITS SO SAD 😭

Nagi: Once, when he was younger, he tried doing one of those free robux application things where you play a bunch of games for robux and he thought it was legit because some youtuber did it. His parents were like “Seishiro what are you even doing” and he was like “I’m grinding robux mom, you wouldn’t understand” Like Nagi…don’t even get your hopes up 😬. Long story short, it didn’t work and he ended up with some virus on his ipad. He woke his parents up at 3am and was like “um…I think I got hacked ☹️” His parents WERE NOT pleased 😭

Reo: Had a little rebellious phase where he only used cringey Gen Z slang. In front of his parents too and they’d stare at him like 😨. “Zamn ngl this food is bussin’ fr goated no cap,” said young Reo, at a luxurious 5-star restaurant. His mom almost choked on her food. Probably got side-eyed by the waiter too. He didn’t even realise that it wasn’t cool until he found out that NOBODY actually says all that 😭.

Barou: When he’s eating other people's food or eating at a restaurant, he judges it like he’s Gordan Ramsey or something??? Imagine he’s at someone's house for dinner and then when they’re eating he has this whole routine. First he sniffs, feels the texture, then he examines with his eyes, and finally starts eating. You’ll tell if he likes it or not from his expressions 💀 He’ll start interrogating too LMAO. He’d be like “What kind of spice is this?” “How much salt did you add?” HE’S NOT PLAYING YALL.

Rin: Took elementary dodgeball SERIOUSLY. He’d yell at his teammates. Losing? Not on his watch. “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?! IT’S DODGE BALL NOT GET HIT IN THE FACE BALL YOU LOSER!”. If he ever lost a game in PE, he’d start crying and throwing a fit, all while blaming his teammates. He would act like an angel if Sae was there though LMAO.

Hiori: He tries to re-enact cool moves from video games. Like if there's a character that has a cool playstyle he’ll literally hop out of his gaming chair just to swing a spatula around 😭. He got the sound effects goin on too, you can hear little pews and booms. Or if there’s a specific voice line from the final boss that he thinks sounds cool he’ll say it out loud (sometimes his parents hear and they think that he’s lost it not that they care though.)

Karasu: He had a huge chess.com phase, probably in middle school. But he was that one kid that goes ‘I wasn’t even trying tho lol’ when he lost (behind the screen he is SCREAMING in rage). ALSO He’s the type to be super expressive (kinda like Barou) 😭. You’ll know when he’s judging you cus’ his face will go 😬 😲 ☹️ 😧 🤔 in that order 💀. He could say something but his expressions reveal all there is.

Yukimiya: When he first got his glasses, he probably forgot them a lot LOL. Like he’d show up to football practice without them and one of his teammates would go “Yo where’s your glasses, Yukki?” and he’d be like…oh yeah. There was probably one point where he thought his eyesight was getting better. He woke up one morning and just decided that he suddenly felt like he had good vision again. It was all in his head 💀.

Otoya: He once tried hitting on a girl when her boyfriend WAS RIGHT THERE and he didn’t even notice. Let’s just say he ran for his life. His older sister has a video recording of it and uses it as blackmail. Worst of all he genuinely thought he could've ‘stolen’ her from him 😭 LIKE OTOYA NO. 😭

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #isagi yoichi #bachira meguru #chigiri hyoma #kunigami rensuke #rin itoshi #nagi seishiro #reo mikage #barou shouei #hiori yo #otoya eita #yukimiya kenyu #karasu tabito

171 notes · View notes

nsb-rkive · 2 years

Text

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒐 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖🌷

PAIRING(S):: nsb x reader

GENRE(S):: reaction, soft/fluff

W.C:: 686

WARNING(S):: cursing, none

!!not checked twice

AUTHOR’S NOTE:: this is my first time doing this, sorry if it sucks😭😭 enjoy!!

ʚ 𝗢𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿 ɞ

As we all know, Oliver is a teddy bear, so he would do anything to make you happy is existence is already enough i cant😭 Among all the things he does, he loves singing for you: he would do it when you are sad, to make you fall asleep, even randomly. He would always sing love songs and he would also change the lyrics a little bit to make them specifically for you IM CRYING

ʚ 𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻 ɞ

Darren fought so hard to get a partner 💀 that now he doesn't want to ruin anything (you are basically stuck with him LMAO HELP-🤡🤡). He knows too damn well you love the food he cooks, so he would cook for you almost every day give me a Darren pls. He'd cook for special occasions (such as birthday, mensiversary, graduation or/and meeting your parents) or even randomly, you know, just because he loves you so much. Speaking of parents, after eating Darren's food they'd probably tell you to marry him asap😭😭😭 no but fr they'd be speechless who wouldn't bruh

ʚ 𝗦𝗲𝗯𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗻 ɞ

As we could see, Seb is tall asf, so if you are shorter than him he would help you by taking things that are on high furniture. He finds it so cute when he sees you struggle while trying to reach the damn thing but failing miserably😭 But this doesn't stop him from making fun of you🤡 in fact you'll find out that most of the time, Sebastian puts the things you need higher just to see his pretty s/o trying to reach it without his help. Sometimes he would also pick you up and let you take it, then he'd let you sit on the kitchen counter and tell you how much he loves you and how cute you are in a jokingly but significant and caring way.

ʚ 𝗥𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲 ɞ

You and Regie would do late car rides almost every single night. I guess he would do this if you are studying/working too much and you are stressing yourself: he would take you to McDonald's and buy you a milkshake, then keep driving around while listening to the playlist he made for this occasions. The lights of the city lighting up your face, the wind meeting your eyes as you close them, the music hugging you and making you feel like there's only you and Regie, and last but not least, your boyfriend driving silently and looking at you sometimes to check if you are sleeping and doing good I FUCKING WANT THIS RIGHT NOW

ʚ 𝗞𝗮𝗻𝗲 ɞ

Kane is a cutie pie, no wonder he would do something cute for you, for example, he would buy matching things for the two of you. Whenever you two hang out he wants to buy something for you sobbing rn. He already bought matching bracelets, matching hoodies and t-shirts, and necklaces. He would also buy them as a surprise/gift for you!! He'd go to you and be like "Babe I have a thing for you" while smiling as he always does im melting istg. He is the cutest.

ʚ 𝗥𝘆𝗮𝗻 ɞ help not my loml

Most people think Ryan isn't a big fan of skinship and hates it, but honestly he likes it a lot, especially kisses. In my opinion, he would kiss you, or at least try to, everywhere. His favorite places to kiss are probably your lips and your hands I WANT THIS MAN RIGHT NOW UFF He would kiss your hands when you are in public or around the members so they don't feel uncomfortable (bad that you two don't know they simp for you everytime and that they love you as a couple rip), while kisses on the lips mostly in private. You guys kiss on the lips in public too, but most of the times things get hotter and you end up making out I AM SIMPING

ʚ 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻 ɞ

And last but not least, we have Justin. Our precious JP is such a lovely and kind boy, but also funny! That's why he would always propose to do something fun!! His favorite thing is Just Dance: man doesnt even care if you cant dance, he just wants to spend time with you and have fun tearing hard fr. He would also propose karaoke! You'd try to sing as better as possible, but ending up doing voices and acting like you are having a whole concert in front a huge crowd. He loves seeing you happy, so he'll do anything possible to make you smile or laugh at least once (spoiler: you'd end up smiling all the time)

CREDITS TO THE RIGHT OWNERS!

DO NOT STEAL MY WORK.

#justin phan #oliver moy #sebastian moy #azngami #ryan nguyen #regie macalino #darren liang #kane ratan #north star boys #fanfic #reactions

407 notes · View notes

teddybeartoji · 3 days

Note

sooooo i heard someone mention selfship asks >:3…. i have one for mitoru n one for moji hehe

1) i can’t resist the hurt/comfort SO . how does toru cheer you up when you’re having a bad day?? and vice versa !!!!!

2) i alr asked this for mitoru but !!!! between you n toji ….. who is ”falls first” and who is ”falls harder”?? :3

OK THAT’S ALL (for now >:3)…… gl w work mickey!!!! 🫂🫂 i hope that you see this tmrw when you’re well rested!!! and that you have the coziest sleep in the meantime <33 smooching you gently on the bridge of your nose

HELLO ARI MY SWEETEST LITTLE ANGEL<333333333333 THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR INDULGING ME ON MY SILLY LITTLE SELFSHIPS HEHEHEHHE

mitoru comfort..... wahh this is such a sweet question ari:(((( when i'm having a bad day it's all about quiet time and touch. he knows that words will have very little effect, so he just slings himself over me like a koala:((((((((( i'm talking like full body weight and we've definitely uhh almost fallen over like a million times lmao. doesn't matter whether i'm getting something to eat or i'm gaming or i'm already full-time rotting in bed - he's just gonna Envelop me<333 he will whisper ridiculous jokes in my ear and i will always laugh bc i am not immune to his stupidity<3333333

and when he's sad:(((((((((((((((((((((((pls i don't even wanna think abt it he's my baby:((((((((((((((((((((((( i hold him tight and i will play with his hair as i whisper praise and reassurance into his ears. he hides his face in my neck or chest or lap (this guy is a cat fr) and i keep him safe and sound, away from the world:((((((he's mine:(((((( you know he tries to hide whenever he's feeling bad but he can't escape me i will always be there. i'll trace his face and tell him how much he means to me just so he knows that it's okay to open up, that it's okay to let me in:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ari i love him sm:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

omggggg moji hehehehehe nowwwwwww i haven't actually delved too into this so this is veryvery exciting. i will be first to fall though there's no question here. but it still wouldn't be a love at first sight thing. this is also a slowburn but a different kind from the mitoru one. it's even slower i think😭😭😭😭

ok but i think the moji dynamic is literally just him meeting a weird cat and picking it up by the scruff and going🤨🤨🤨🤨what the fuck kind of a creature are you🤨🤨🤨🤨but then i manage to woo him with my straightforward and snarky personality and he goes🤨🤨🤨🤨again bc what the fuck is happening to him🤨🤨🤨🤨i think i can entertain him so much that he has no other way to just fall in love with me

anywayy.................... as for who falls harder............................ how self-indulgent am i when i say toji............................................. it's gonna take him a while to do it but when he finds his person he's All In you know?? like there's just no going back... when it finally clicks in his head i think he feels a bit sick. happy and sick and nervous and giddy and aaaaahhh everything is too much!!!!! feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but luckily i'm right there with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will bring him down to earth (to me) and then i'll welcome his shy love with open arms!!!!!!!!!!! ari i love him so much too i wanna cry:((((((((((((((((((((

wahhhhhhhhhhhhthey're both my babygirls i would do everything and anything for them<3333333 once again thank u so much for indulging me with this i'm having so much fun thinking abt the dynamic and the Lore hehehehe i love you so much and i am kissing every single one of your freckles rn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#my babygirls #i luv them #and ariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i hope the movie is good!!!!!!!!! i hope you're having so much fun rn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i love you so sosoo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ari <3 #mitoru #moji #friends!!

7 notes · View notes

ughscara · 5 months

Text

alright. second cup of tea ready, a little break from writing and proofreading, logging in to be greeted with many wonderful people and the wonderful responses from my dear moot, @fatuismooches 🤍

greetings dear! this lengthy post will be the response to your responses to my asks as well as your reblogs which have given me the amount of serotonin i desired to complete this wonderful night of mine <3 i am not at all apologetic for how lengthy this response is, i am deadass shedding tears of joy and expressed everything i had in an ask that tumblr had the fucking audacity to eat so .. yeah :) i just want to express my gratitude again as well as ramble along to the brainrot hehe ~

YES HE ABSOLUTELY DOES. to kabukimono, he'll ensure anything within his capabilities to see that smile he loves so much, the smile that brightens his day regardless if it was good or bad, the smile that makes something so familiar yet foreign inside his chest soar. whenever you're sad, he doesn't waste time in following his instinct of taking his veil then holding you close from behind, providing the feeling of his veil shielding you two from the world; like how your embrace does to him. i just envision him basking in the comfortable silence for a while, basking in your warmth with a smile until a short while passes,

“dear (name), how about you make us that tea you like?... hehe, too sweet or not, i'll have it, it's yours! no other tea is as good as yours, even if it's too sweet for me.”

he goes out of his way to suggest a usual activity you two have when he doesn't know how to form his words to reassure out of fear of messing up and making you more sad, but that little smile of yours as he suggests said usual activity makes him smile too and feel more at ease as well.

following on using that tactic to make you fold — IT WORKS IN HIS FAVOR SO MUCH IT'S ENDEARINGLY RIDICULOUS ?? like shut up ( i'm joking please don't ) you'd be like:

“nuh-uh. not falling for that.”

“but... dear (name)... :(”

“okay maybe i am falling for that. folding even.”

“ :D ”

and oh my god. kabuki being an absolute mess in the kitchen for the first few times he attempts cooking is one of my all time favorite things for him like IT'S SO CUTE FUCK OFF ;; not only cute but also relatable — cough anyways <3 it's exactly as you just said ( speaking my mind fr ) and honestly, i think it's very much in character for kabu because the writers cling onto the "blank slate" statement for dear life when it comes to describing kabukimono specifically. the kitchen being an absolute mess as he urges you to take a bath i am actually crying ;;

AND THANK YOU OH MY GOODNESS ;; i am so so happy that despite my sleepy self writing that, it still managed to deliver~ i am so glad :')

those references are to your kabuki series btw <3 i have injected a lot of what you delivered there for the baby boy :D and you are very much welcome for the kuni brainrot! that's my specialty ~

there's no escaping the "kuni is a little tsun tsun" allegation. he already pleaded guilty to those more than enough times much to his dismay

i would like to inject a hc here — walks with him around snezhnaya are actually relatively common! while it is rare for him to be seen outside of his duties, let alone with someone, usually preferring to stay in home with you or do his usual reading light novels of varying degrees of quality while having a cup of tea or coffee. but in that specific drabble, it's from a mini series that i unfortunately had to scrap due to how i have other three that are in production masterpost preparation wise so </3

but absolutely, walks in snezhnaya, either around town or even near the freezing sea of the land; it's a very common activity that he usually indulges you in regardless of how much free time he has.

that specific theme is going to be the main theme for my future series featuring fatui kuni so that means, i'll cut my rambling short :)

my brain and i appreciate the praise and regarding your excitement ME TOO ?!?! like omg you don't know how over the fucking moon i am just thinking about tomorrow that is literally going to be today in a few minutes time for me, it's crazy and this much excitement, while it is something i'm quite accustomed to because i am even excited on a regular day, is probably going to annihilate my heart in the metaphorical sense lolol

i'll give the name here as well as my reasoning for it: i named the little one izumi! reason being because that name means spring, and apart from the countless artworks i saw of the precious bean being surrounded by sakura trees, it's also because back when i did the third act of sumeru for the first time and watched kuni's cutscene very thoroughly and with lore crafter intent ( while crying ) i saw the little boy and his design, color scheme wise to be specific, and it reminded me of sunflowers. while doodling little drawings for the concept, the name izumi popped in my head and i was like "you know what? that just sounds about right honestly."

if you read the title for the seventh chapter, the name "kuzou" is not the name i chose, it's just a little trick of mine and because of a hc i hope to elaborate on in that specific chapter <3

as for the angst........ yeah now that i think about it a little more, i feel a tiny bit sorry ^-^

in all seriousness though, THANK YOU !! i am so glad to hear that you love it and i will be sure to not rush on it, pinky promise that i won't force myself to do beyond my limits! ( thank you for the gentle reminder <3 )

FUCK YES YOUR THOUGHTS DID MAKE ME THAT HAPPY!! receiving any kind of response on something i write makes me feel like the happiest person on earth because i LOVE listening to others' thoughts and feelings on something i make, or even in general in all honesty. listening is a hobby of mine one could say hehe

you are so real on picking up on how people contrast fatui and wanderer kuni — it's so fun and like ? just so endearing somehow ?? not really somehow scratch that it is endearing because watching him come so far is just the embodiment of (⁠╥ ‿ ╥⁠)ﾉ⁠♡

regarding the 'nushi thesis ......................

oops ~

no but the way this bitch had and still does have me on such a chokehold for SO LONG and it resulted me to writing a fucking presentation; from me writing lore for his ass to writing about both small and big things about him and even picking a theme for him along with a design interpretation. it's alright though, king deserves it 🤍

and i am so down to write a little drabble about the eccentric squad being in trouble like it'd not only be funny but also endearing because i think we both know who would make up for the mistake they did and who wouldn't ( side eyes fatui kuni and kuro /lh )

as for us two — certified tea addicts /lh lovers !! we love to see it~ the way i actually can't survive through the day without at least having one cup is... well, it certainly is something lmao

goodness me .. this was a lot to ramble about alright but good fuck i am actually so happy :') this was and honestly is the best way i think i've ever spent a break i take from writing, i am practically smiling from ear and to ear and coincidentally enough i just finished my second cup of tea! this was an incredible fun ~

thank you so so much for the support and love you've provided me smooches 🤍 you are not only one of my biggest inspirations but also someone i cherish even though we're only moots, but i hope to become friends in the future <3

i hope you enjoy mundanities with kabukimono as much as i will enjoy writing it for many to see, i cannot wait to walk this journey with you and many others 🤍

— signed and with much ( platonic ) love, ayame.

#a cup of tea with; smooches <3 #the way i had to hold back genuine happy tears because if i did let them roam i'd start sobbing.#i've already said my peace in this post for you dear‚ any more rambling will result me to repeat myself again :')#thank you an incredible lot. genuinely 🤍

11 notes · View notes

bellysoupset · 8 months

Note

hi again!!

okay first off i LOVED Bella and Luke’s impromptu wedding AHHHH they’re so so adorable😭 also, i know i said sicily part 6 was WONDERFUL (all time fave fr) but i never commented on part 7 and OH MY GOODNESS i had to take breaks from reading bc of how hard i was blushing at vin teasing wen 🤭 she was so real for every single one of her reactions omg

on that note OMG so excited for that food poisoning fic I CANT WAIT TO READ IT <3 and i love that it’s gonna be angsty and touch on her body dysmorphia ahhhh 😭🫶🏽

ALSO i’ve been meaning to ask this because i feel like you haven’t talked about it much? (or maybe i missed it? if so im so sorry lol) but basically, i know you said that wendy’s parents were NOT happy with her coming out, but that they eventually sort of “allowed” her to transition bc her mental health got bad. i clearly love angst (all your angsty fics are TOP TIER🤭), so i really wanna know more about her mental health struggles. is that something you’d dive into in an ask, or would you maybe incorporate it and/or hint at it in fics? i would genuinely LOOOOOVE to learn more about this!!!

ANYWAYS again YOU’RE AWESOME & IM OBSESSED WITH YOUR OCs‼️

- 🦦

Hi 🦦!!

What a wall of love, my heart is bursting out of my chest 😭 And Sicily 6 being your all time fave of all 102 fics of mine, this is HIGH PRAISE!!

Wendy whenever Vin brings up tummyaches is like Error 404, I feel her in my bones. If a hot guy did that to me I think I might just have a stroke and die.

I haven't actually covered any of Wendy's mental health issues in my fics! I had planned on doing one in NY with Vin & Wendy, but I keep putting it off bc I know I'll have to tap on some sensitive topics that require research on my part and I'm lazy.

Here's some things I think on Wendy's case. She's always been a chubby girl, but before her transition this bothered her a lot. It added to the already installed feelings of something being off with her and even when she managed to put things together, but was not allowed to transition physically this made her life hell. It was a toss up between gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia.

She got a pretty bad eating disorder back then (which btw, never made her thin, only fucked up her health) and she s*lf-h4armed, up until her parents found out about this, alongside some pretty concerning journals with su1cide ideation and they "caved".

Simply put her parents are jerks, but they're not evil and in hindsight they do know it was the right thing to do, they're just... Well, jerks who refused to own up the fact they were wrong and certain things are still very wrong.

I think it's important to highlight Wendy and Leo are very different in this aspect, even if both of them have had suic1dal thoughts and struggled with their queer identities. Wendy is not chronically depressed, she hit a rough patch and she has since healed up. She's in a great place right now and, yes, she's got insecurities and fears, but she's not medicated and doesn't need to be.

Leo's depression is chronical and he's medicated and will always be so. Without his meds he will struggle with su1cidal thoughts and erratic behavior regardless of how happy he is with his life at the moment.

Wendy's trigger make her cry, at most they make her sad for a week. Leo's triggers cause severe panic attacks.

#myocs #wendy marshall #leo wagner #i know i made it a bit about leo at the end but i think its an important distinction (health professional in me jumping out)#also i dont think any of those words should ever be censored i'm just doing that bc I dont wanna risk tumblr labeling this mature or smth #hate this website #🦦 anon #lovely correspondence

7 notes · View notes

baraqi · 2 years

Note

i just want sunoo to praise me and call me his good kitten, especially on days where i’m not doing the greatest yk? like i’m struggling with my body image and i feel like he’d just love me no matter what and give extra love to the areas i’m least confident in 😞 i just know he has a praise kink :( — 🍨

why are we fr the same like⁉️ i been feeling the same way i get it :( like idk if i said this before but i am a lil bigger than most girlies my age, not life changingly so but enough that my family points it out a lot and finding clothes i like is hard but long story short i’m chubby and not in a way that i can make it work bc i seen ppl who look stunning regardless of shape/weight, but that ain’t me lmao.

+ also idk if anyone else has seen it going around but there have been a couple instances recently where the members made some comments to sunoo that were giving weightshaming vibes n that shit hurted me a bit🚶🏻‍♀️bc i ult sunoo he’s my favorite person and i’ve been in his position before and it’s like u won’t wanna say smth abt it bc u don’t wanna sound sensitive or a vibe killer yfeel. idk if he actually cares abt what they say or not n i don’t wanna put words in his mouth but i’m gonna guess it’s not his ideal way of how he wants ppl to perceive him lol. but i hope he knows he’s perfect the way he is and doesn’t need to change. imma get on with the prompt bc this got long n personal😭 but yes 🍨 anon I LOVE YOU SO MUCH <3 !!

he’d take care of someone with any type of insecurities so well. he seems like such a caring, understanding person☹️ it’d make him so sad that u don’t see yourself the way he sees u, he’d prolly cry a bit too. and would never make u feel like a burden if u need comfort or reassurance bc he genuinely wants to help and see u happy. if u wanted to curl up into him and cry, he’ll sit there rubbing his hand along ur back and talking to u the whole time. if u wanted to vent to him, he’d listen with full attention and let u know that he’ll always be there, regardless of if he can help or not. and if u had any type of eating problem he’d make sure to keep little granola bars or another small but filling snack around in case u skip a meal or feel bad about eating too much. loves doing little things like that to help u remember that he’s always thinking of u and ur well-being. and if u need a distraction from ur thoughts, you guys would watch a movie, play a game, declutter, anything that keeps ur brain elsewhere.

but on days where u don’t wanna do any of that and just want to feel him close, he’ll do so and he’ll take his sweet time with u. spends like 20 minutes just kissing u all over especially whichever parts u don’t like, feeling his lips graze ur skin while he whispers about how pretty u are, maybe leaving a couple marks. if u cry while he fucks u he’ll kiss ur tears away n mumble abt how much he loves u. “my beautiful angel, cum whenever you want sweetheart, my good girl” n holds ur hand while he thrusts into u. would cum inside if u were fine with it, just to emphasize that he wants to be as close as possible with u, no matter what ur brain tells u.

#enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #sunoo hard hours #sunoo smut #baraqi sunoo #baraqi’s 🍨

78 notes · View notes

binniedeactivated · 3 years

Text

txt reactions. || 👾👾

as dads... 👨🏻‍🍼

a/n; i’m sorryyy i’ve been in a fluffy mood lately I haven’t posted smut in a while but I promise I will! enjoy this though <3

soobin -

bro, he’s the clueless dad

doesn’t know anything about being a parent. is lazy about preparing to be a dad but he has a few tricks up his sleeve

everything would fluster the hell out of him. when the baby poops, when the baby pees, when they baby pukes, or when the baby cries he’d get surprised about it every single time as if it doesn’t happen

you know those type of dads where everything is literally a learning moment for them? yes, that’s soobin

is a dorky dad

his children will most likely own him, he won’t own his children

type of dad that gets beat up by his toddler kids for absolutely nothing

they walk in and kick him in the shin while he’s cooking

or pull his hair while he’s trying to read to them before bed

feel like his daughter would be the exact replica of him like seriously, would have his his whole entire face and matching dimples

with that being said, is an absolute sucker for his daughter

gives her anything she wants even if she’s a spoiled brat he’s scared to say no

needs his wife to teach him how to put his foot down

i feel like soobin’s son would be wild asf lmao

repeats every inappropriate thing that soobin says

“daddy? what does bullshit mean?”.

will scold his kids if they’re acting too wild but they never listen to him so it doesn’t really matter

again, he needs his wife to help discipline the kids

i know it can be quite common for parents of color (minorities) to hit their children but in my opinion I don’t really think soobin would hit his kids all that much

he would pay a lot of attention to them though and know them like the back of his hand but he can’t really control the shit that goes on in his wild household

his wife will mainly come home every night to a messy kitchen and messy living room with soobin passed out on the couch and the kids curled on top of him snoring

all in all he loves them though, they’re his babies <3

yeonjun --

honestly, yeonjun is a pretty attentive father

i think he would be veryyyyy playful and affectionate

would want to do EVERYTHING with the baby

want to cook, want to clean, want to watch tv, want to talk to him/her and hold them all the time

has separation anxiety when his children are away from him for too long

even if he’s at work he’ll face time his wife often just so he can see the baby

if he takes his kids to the park he’s literally watching their every move

will still hug and kiss them on their cheeks and forehead no matter how old they get

extremely overprotective

no really, don’t touch yeonjun’s babies unless you want to die

protects his daughter from anyone that tries to date her

i think yeonjun’s son would most likely pick up one of his talents and his daughter will pick up the other

his son can sing and his daughter could dance, vice versa

encourages them to follow their dreams

supports anything and EVERYTHING they

definitely documents everything lmao, even if it’s small he’ll record or take a picture

will make a photo album of all of his children’s achievements

is the type of dad that’s always talking about his kids

literally fr--he mentions them in every conversation

he’s just a proud dad alright? don’t judge him

i think yeonjun’s children would be extremely well behaved and well kept

mostly because yeonjun doesn’t play around LMAO

nah fr, he’s a dad that knows how to scold and punish. his kids know better than to cross him

gives his kids anything they want

takes them on vacations allllll the time

universal studios, disney world, legoland, you name it and he already booked the trip

honestly the type of dad that’s always somewhere having fun with his kids and posting photos on social media

is IN LOVE with being a dad

beomgyu --

lmao beomie is the cool dad

literally will talk to his baby like he/she is grown

“i’m tired of this show. you want to watch netflix? big mouth has a new episode”.

“can you stop crying? that’s weird. all you did was pee. you’re acting you’re a baby or something”.

“why don’t you just use words? tell me when you’re hungry. stop acting like you can’t talk”. (his baby is literally 2 months old)

loves sleeping with his babies the most. loves when they cuddle with him in bed and just fall asleep in his arms and on his chest

plays with them all the time, chasing them around the house playing laser tag or ‘the floor is lava’ lmao

loves playing video games with them, doesn’t let them win just because they’re young

will literally beat them in every game with no remorse, he just tells them they have to learn how to beat him

when they’re older he’ll literally let them do whatever they want

“dad can I go to a party?”. “sure whatever”.

“dad I’m going to a club with my friends”. “alright. be safe”.

“dad I think I’m pregnant”. “damn how that happen? I hope your baby’s father isn’t ugly tbh”.

is the type of dad that will lie to his wife about their children’s bad grades to save their asses

always sugar coats the parent teacher conferences to his wife, telling her that they’re the star students (even if they’re bad as hell)

laughs when one of his kids curse

teaches them the cheat codes to getting what they want in life

his kids ADORE him lmfao

is the most understanding and caring dad there is

taehyun --

strict dad who is a good listener lmao

i think taehyun would be more prepared when he knows he’s about to be a parent. of course he knows he doesn’t know everything but this man would be so prepared lmao

literally would do research on different things just to try and get a better understanding of how children’s minds work

his kids would be baby geniuses please

his daughter would be playing mozart on the piano at the age of two

his son would be a mathematician at four

LMAO i feel like his kids would be smart and mean ASF

literally the bougie kids at school with the latest clothes and shoes and don’t want to associate with the dumber kids

spoiled ROTTEN by taehyun will literally call him for the smallest inconvenience

“dad can you put more money on my credit card? I’m feeling sad today”

“dad I need a spa day”.

and yes taehyun will do these things for them at the drop of a dime

i feel like he’s the type of dad that knows everything, literally can’t outsmart him

if one of his children lies he already knows that they’re lying and already has evidence to prove it

I don’t think any of his children would ever lie to him though lmao taehyun don’t play that shit

type of dad that will allow his spoiled ass kids to live in his house for as long as they want without requiring them to move out

absolutely weak for them

will set up bank accounts and college funds for them

literally does EVERYTHING for them i cannot stress this ENOUGH

will buy their first apartment if they want it

will buy them their first cars

taehyun’s kids : part time job? what’s that?

type of dad that his kids can talk about anything and everything with and they love him for it

can be a crackhead dad too, will do the craziest shit to make his kids laugh

his kids are his world <3

kai --

lmfao i feel like kai is the fine line between being prepared and not knowing what the fuck to do every second

literally needs his wife because he’ll get anxiety trying to make big decisions for them

i think he would be at his prime parenting during the toddler stage since he has a lot of energy. he would bring his kids to trampoline parks and bounce house places allllll the time

his kids’ fondest childhood memories would be somewhere in a bounce house jumping and having fun with their dad

would also love turning on a soft playlist and have coloring sessions with them

is the type to make his kids dress like him, oversized sweaters, baggy jeans and cute sneakers

would buy his kids matching outfits and toys

also would be big on accessories i think. would love buying them cute backpacks, lunchboxes, and pens and pencils lmao

i think kai’s children would be chaotic as helllllllllllll

extremely hyperactive and don’t know the concept of bedtime

has frequent food fights in the kitchen

whenever they take a bath they get suds all over the floor

they eat and nap in the kitchen cabinets even though kai specifically told them not to do that

kids would be EXTREMELY cute so it would always be hard for kai to scold them

his version of scolding is literally, “hey don’t do that”. will never yell or hit

can never find a babysitter for when him and his wife have date nights because his children are always on a rampage

and when they do have do have date nights his children always find a way to facetime him fifteen hundred times about nothing

i think out of all kids, kai’s kids would be the baddest ones in school just because of the contrast lmfaoo

his son draws curse words on his desk

his daughter gets into fights all the time

parent teacher conferences are the funniest because kai is smiling no matter how bad the teacher says his kids are

literally cannot control them LMAO

but they’re so funny and sweet to him he can’t help but become weak for them

when they’re older though I feel like they’ll mellow out only a little but still kinda rebellious

kai is a positive dad who tries his absolute best lmao but he loves them with all his heart <3

#txt #tomorrow by together #yeonjun #yeonjun fluff #soobin #soobin fluff #beomgyu #beomgyu fluff #taehyun #taehyun fluff #heuning kai #heuning kai fluff

181 notes · View notes

cotccotc · 3 years

Text

♡ 3:24 am ; paranoid

set in the domus amoris universe !

genre/s: comfort, angst, fluff, established relationship/domestic au, hyunjin x gn reader

wc: ~1.6k

warnings: use of petnames (lovey, baby)

a/n: this is based on “paranoid” by lauv :))) it has a similar format to “forevermore” from this series but with a lot more elaboration !! it’s been a bit challenging to think of ways to write for him lately, but this is an idea i’ve had for a while now so... i tried </3 lol. i hope u enjoy it despite the sad bits oops :DDD

‘ smile when you're sleeping

wonder who you're dreaming of ’

he’s always loved watching you as you sleep. if able, he stays up until whenever it might be that you finally drift off. as your hands remain tightly wrapped around his body, your face aglow from the kaleidoscopical light streaming into the bedroom through the blinds, he watches and listens to you breathe. in, out. in, out. your chest inflates and diminishes with each deep, restful breath. your face rests in the palm of his hand. observing you intently, he notices as the corners of your lips begin to curl. a smile. endearing, entrancing… unnerving. he hopes you’re dreaming of something pleasant. something you might share with him come morning. he hopes you’re dreaming of him. he hopes, he prays.

but what if it isn’t? his heartbeat hastens.

‘ after all of these nights, laying right by your side

how could my brain make me feel so far? ’

maybe it’s selfish, he ponders, to be thinking this way. to assume the worst. to wonder if there’s someone you could be fantasizing about that isn’t him. it’s unfair. for all he knows, you could be dreaming of something unrelated entirely. he runs his thumb over your cheekbone, grazing the soft skin on your face with such adoration. such love. like he’s done so many times before. and yet, he believes that you deserve better. more. he always has. and he hates himself for it.

‘ maybe it's a case of paranoia

nervous that i'll never really know ya ’

he believes knows you inside and out; frontways and backways; from top to bottom and everything in between. that’s what you tell him, too. you tell it to him all the time. and he tells you the same. because it’s true. in some ways, you know him more than he knows himself. sometimes, when he’s unsure of who he is, all it takes is one look at you to bring his feet back onto the ground. and yet, in these mid-morning moments, he falls prey to doubt. maybe it’s him. that’s what he thinks. maybe it’s just the way his mind works. almost as if a self-inflicted disease is eating away at his subconscious, doubtful thoughts infiltrating his mind against his will. it’s a consuming feeling.

you let out a bit of a sigh. your eyes blink open, straining to focus on your lover’s face in front of you. he feels terrible for waking you. but you don’t know that.

“you’re awake,” you murmur, voice raspy and quiet.

“mhm,” he hums.

“why?”

he’s taken aback by the question. unsure of how to respond. you look so adorable to him. heavy-eyed and somnolent. “it’s nothing. go back to sleep,” he says. it’s not nothing. but he’s embarrassed. why is he embarrassed? it’s you. he shouldn’t be embarrassed. and yet, he is.

“are you sure?” you ask, letting out an involuntary yawn. he’s so enamored by you. you don’t even realize it, because how could you? he looks toward you so fondly. with such endearment. he wants to tell you everything that’s on his mind. but he just can’t.

“i’m sure,” he reassures you. he places his hand upon your cheek, holding your face in his hand as if that’s what it was made to do. it always seems to fit so perfectly. he flashes a meek, forced half-smile at you. you know he’s lying.

instead of refuting his response, you decide not to push. you know he has moments of self-doubt and what he would consider weakness. and you know it’s not his fault. more so than anything, you know that you love him. so, you sit up, elbow propped up against the mattress. you turn on the lamp sitting upon your bedside table, illuminating the room with a dim, creamy tint. you rest your hand upon your lover’s chest and lean into him. he brings his hands to cup your face, pulling you closer. you kiss each other tenderly. his lips waltz across yours, just as they always do; smooth, sultry, with a twinge of honey-like sweetness. you love to kiss his bottom lip, gently tugging at it with your own. and you know he loves it too. especially as it prompts him to thread his fingers through your hair, passionately pulling you even closer to him and kissing you even deeper. you sink into his touch. this isn’t lust. it’s familiarity. it’s healing. it’s the only thing that speaks louder than words. it’s love.

he takes a small, shaky breath, breaking away from you. a single tear droplet emerges from the corner of his eye as he looks up at you.

his lip quivers. your heart breaks.

“i love you,” you whisper, swiping the tear off of his cheek. you lay back down beside him, head resting on his shoulder as you caress his face with the tips of your fingers. you place a soft kiss against his cheek, wanting nothing more than to be impossibly close to him; absorbing his emotions and freeing him from whatever might be troubling him.

“i know that…” he trails off, unable to connect his eyes with yours. “but…” he screws them shut, raising his palm to cover them as his lips contort themselves.

he’s crying.

“i know that,” he repeats. but this time, he sounds angry. angry with himself. he knows that you love him. and he’s ashamed that his brain could ever make him think otherwise.

you don’t know what else to do other than hold him, wrapping your arms around his form. “baby,” you mutter, almost inaudibly. a tear of your own taunts your waterline. you hate seeing him like this. especially when seemingly unprovoked. you know he’s been listening to the voices in the back of his mind again. it’s plain to see.

“i just-” he starts, cut off by his own convulsions. in between sobs and shallow breaths, he stammers, “i… i don’t…” when he realizes he’s unable to release a full sentence, his face turning a harsh shade of red and his eyes wired shut, he reaches out to wrap his arms around your waist and pulls himself closer to you. he places his head against your chest. “i don’t know…”

you stay like this for a few minutes. he shudders against you, choked sobs escaping the lips from which he’s always complimented you, called for you, kissed you… it’s painful to listen to. and even more disheartening to see. as he settles down, you continue to stroke his hair, running your fingertips along his scalp to soothe him. he learns to breathe with you. with every inhale, he mimics the feeling. in, out. in, out. though shaky still, his sobs turn to sniffles and his convulsions fade into calm.

eventually, he looks up at you. his eyes are puffy, similarly to the state in which he wakes, though they remain slightly pink-tinted and dampened from the strain of his tears. “i love you, too,” he mumbles. “and i’m sorry.”

“sorry?” you repeat, confused. “lovey...” you tuck a few strands of pitch-dark hair behind his ear. the skin is still red from emotion and embarrassment. “you have nothing to be sorry about.”

he looks away, shifting around to get even more comfortable against you. his arms are still wrapped around your figure, fingers gently toying with the fabric of your shirt as a means of distraction. after a pause, he continues. “i’m sorry that i get so scared.” he sniffles, drained from weeping so intensely. he sounds stuffy. it would almost be endearing if he wasn’t so distraught.

‘ but baby, i love you

and baby, i’d love to

not be… ’

“it’s not your fault,” you assure him. you know how he feels. with each new day waking up beside him, you’re met with a sense of unworthiness. he’s just so lovely. and he makes you feel like nobody’s ever made you feel before. knowing him and loving him are truly your greatest pleasures in life. sometimes, you even feel selfish for keeping him so close to your heart. it’s as if you hold onto his hands as tightly as you do to prevent him from letting go. as if your grip on his waist whenever he hovers atop your frame is not just an expression of want, but of need. as if at a moment’s notice, he could find someone better than you; someone more deserving of his loving gaze, his angelic laugh, the honor of lulling him to sleep with kisses and reciprocative sentiments of endearment… someone more deserving of the opportunity to love him. still, he feels the same way about you. and you can never quite comprehend the reason why.

“i know. but i wish it would just go away.” he pauses, still fiddling with your top.

“i do too,” you mutter.

he then sits up, readjusting to lay his head down beside your neck. his hand settles upon your stomach, thumb lightly rubbing your skin through the thin layer of cotton. his lips brush against your neck, barely touching it at all. so delightful. your fingers remain entwined in his lustrous tresses. “promise...” he begins, whispering into your skin before finally pressing his lips against you. his voice ripples through your mind like a wave. he speaks with such purity. such sincerity. such need. “you’ll stay with me.” he breaks away, looking straight into your eyes. you look right back into his.

“i promise.”

“...forever?” he adds, stifling a smile. he has to be sure.

you tease him. “will you stay with me forever?”

he snaps out of his almost-contentedness, a serious expression taking shape upon his winsome face once more. “i promise,” he confirms. “i promise, baby. i will.”

“then i will, too.” you smile, gently pecking his lips with yours. as his eyes flutter open once again, blinking intently, he smiles. a wide-eyed, rosy-cheeked, ever-precious smile. the smile for which your heart beats. the smile that only you can evoke, reserved simply for moments such as these. maybe you do deserve it after all. and maybe, he thinks, he deserves the evocation.

‘ ...paranoid. ’

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @pixielix, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @changnuggie, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @moonlit-lixie, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @siedhr ( join my tag list !! )

150 notes · View notes

rottingflovver · 4 years

Text

Random relationship (and just general stuff) headcanons for the ADA squad!!

Atsushi Nakajima 🐯

Soft boi

Smells like strawberries and vanilla

Don't question me on this, he just does

Also probably adores eating strawberries and vanilla, alongside ice cream and anything sweet really, but like, in moderation (it's gotta be a soft food tho)

He also likes fruits and veggies

A healthy boi

His ideal date would be sightseeing, just walking around town with his s/o and admiring the scenery

Would try to be really cheesy and say something like "you're prettier than any location we've been to" but he'd get too embarrassed halfway through so it would just come out as a stammering mess

He's adorable tho, you love him

When sleeping, if you sleep in one bed, he'd legit be like a big cat (no pun intended)

He'd be so warm, and his arms would be wrapped around you in a soft embrace

Prone to having nightmares so please comfort him

Ozamu Dazai 💀

The literal opposite of a soft boi

What I mean by this is that he's a straight up f-boy

Don't @ me, it's official; he's left every woman he's ever been with crying

But don't worry, once he gets attached to you, he'd be all giddy and happy whenever you even exist around him

My dude adores coffee (+ alcohol!)

Doesn't really eat much (please force him to eat more) but he's a sucker for sweets (I feel like he'd be really picky tho, like "no this brand of chocolate is absolute garbage I only eat the finest *insert niche brand literally no one has EVER heard of*"

We love him for it

He'd also really be into salty snacks, anything that has a crunch to it really

Did I mention that he smells like washed out Cologne mixed with his natural scent (+ the most recent way he tried to commit not-living)

His ideal date would be a coffee-date

He knows it's not much but that's where he feels the most relaxed and happy, so he wants you to experience that with him as well

Unlike Atsushi, this boy can FLIRT

Expect a cheesy remark every few seconds

It comes to the point where it's actually kinda annoying

Once you start firing it back at him (it's gotta be something sincere tho) he'd be flustered and kinda flabbergasted

Is also prone to nightmares, but don't expect to see this side of him unless he REALLY really trusts you

Kunikida Doppo 📚

Stoic boi

Idk how to explain this but I feel like the 🗿 emoji really represents him

Also he smells the most normal out of everyone ㅡ literally just some kinda nice perfume and neutral, washed out shampoo (by neutral I mean that you can't really identify what it is, but it's nice)

I feel like he'd be warm

Like not to Atsushi's level, but he'd be a good heat provider if it ever gets windy or rainy

Not to mention how comforting his hugs are, although, extremely awkward (he's so inexperienced with them Lord help him)

Also a sucker for coffee but that's because it's the only thing keeping him sane (and awake, Kunikida go to bed challenge)

He's a really good cook

Like it surprises you how many dishes he actually knows how to make, given how much time his work occupies

He's also more like your dad (or even mom tbh) than your boyfriend, because he's always nagging cuz of some idealistic criteria you failed to meet (ie. "cLeAn YoUr RoOm")

That's why his preference for dates are dates that don't even feel like them

It's literally just everyday activities

Going shopping together? Sure, he's down, gotta get it done anyway and it's nice to have company. You want him to teach you how to make a certain dish? Geez, finally, it's about time you start doing that yourself. You wanna join on a mission? That's a bit too dangerous, but you can meet him afterwards

Like do you get what I'm saying

It's so obvious you two have a thing for each other but he's just so damn dense and yet somehow gets super flustered at the same time

Compliment him on something he's insecure about and he'll be a mess for like 10 whole minutes (by this I mean he genuinely won't be able to utter a word)

Akiko Yosano 🦋

She listens to girl in red

Okay maybe not, but she definitely stans Dreamcatcher

I'll stop you get the point

Her favorite LOONA solo is Heart Attack

(That was the last one I swear)

But fr tho, she looks and acts scary but she's a whole sweetheart

Kind of cold but it's okay you can warm her up (melts if you do that)

Really scared of letting people get too close to her, but if you keep insisting and being nice to her she'll have to accept your love

ALSO fond of coffee (seriously what's with these people) and a mediocre cook (she's trying ok)

Will always be down to try and make something with you, whatever the dish may be

Smells like oranges and roses (not mixed, obvi on different days it's a different vibe)

Also sometimes has a lingering aftertaste of blood due to her job at the ADA and you're kinda just like 😶 about it because?? Do you tell her?? Does she know?? What do you do???

Pain.png

Hint: you should definitely tell her tho

SHE FINALLY HAS A CONSISTENT SHOPPING BUDDY

Although she doesn't force you to carry everything around like she forces everyone else to, because you're special ✨

That would also be your assumption on what her favorite date is, but she can actually be pretty romantic!

Don't expect anything grandeur tho, it's just a fancy dinner date at a restaurant

Poor bb has been planning and saving up for this for months now so please appreciate it

She sleeps like a rock

She's just straight, like a soldier

Oh the irony

But I feel like if you were to hug her she'd instantly melt into your embrace

Is ALSO prone to nightmares (seriously what's with these people) but she doesn't wanna bother you with them

Edogawa Ranpo 👓

Praise him

Please

He has a praise kink

So please praise him

He's surprisingly soft

Maybe it's all the sweets he eats, but he's both soft to hug and soft personality wise

Oh yeah did I mention he emits an aura of candy

Like he walks into the room and you don't even have to look to know that it's him, cuz it'll just smell like sweets all of a sudden

Speaking of, he really adores them

To the point where you'll have to force him to eat something healthy from time to time as well, I mean, seriously, that much sugar CANNOT be good for you

If you give him some homemade baked goods (ei. cupcakes, brownies, cake, ect.) listen he will LITERALLY lose it

You're his angel now

No not even that, you're a GODDESS/GOD to him

(Yes he's that dramatic)

He likes taking you to see detective movies with him where he figures out the killer in the first 3 minutes

Also he gets lost so gosh darn easily; never ever let him out of your sight or he'll just be gone forever

Other than that, he lets you organize and plan the dates, cuz he thinks you could do a way better job at being romantic than he ever could

He's really okay with anything you wanna do ㅡ he's just happy to be with you

(Just don't take him to someplace where he can't eat candy)

Force him to eat spicy food and he's breaking up with you nckdndjc

When sleeping together, he's sprawled out across the mattress

In many ways he's just a big teddy bear, you can climb on top of him and sleep there and he'll just be chill with it

These next few ⬇ are only friendship hcs bc a sis doesn't wanna go to jail

Kenji Miyazawa 🐄

Baby boy, baby

Listen I can't explain it but he smells like grass and that fresh air country smell

Like you just know he does

LOVES getting head-pats

Loves giving them too!!

He's so confused when it comes to city stuff, so he'd much rather chill with you somewhere on a grass field

Expect to play a lot of tag and hide n seek with him!! It'll be extra fun if he drags Kyouka and Atsushi with him as well

Sometimes he'll randomly drop a country fact that seems so obscure to you (think; that one time he mentioned they just throw criminals off a cliff) and you'll just stare at him like; 👁 👄 👁

He loves to eat

Literally anything

"I love cows but I love eating them too"

He mentioned before that he shouldn't eat a lot cuz he has no power when full but you can't just??let him starve??

Give him an apple and water and he'll be fine

Introduce him to arcades and he'll get hooked in a matter of seconds

Kyouka Izumi 🌺

baby girl, baby

Loves to go sightseeing like Atsushi

Kind of stoic in the beginning but as she slowly warms up to you she'll be smiling all the time

Brings out Demon Snow to protect you if a leaf falls a little too threateningly

Cdndjdj no but fr ㅡ she never really had friends that accepted her and wanted to spend time with her so she really doesn't want anything to happen to you

You have to remind her that she's just a kid; she should be allowed to relax and enjoy the moment for a bit

Smells like flowers and death

The death part of it fades away with time

Spends a lot of time with Atsushi!! Meaning you will spend a lot of time with Atsushi as well

If you don't like him I'm sorry but you two just can't be friends

She has no idea what counts as friend activities and what doesn't so expect her to either: a) not propose anything, or b) propose totally obscure stuff

But if something cute catches her attention she'll make an attempt to guide you to it

Like if she thinks you two should eat ice cream she'll stare at a nearby ice cream shop intensely

Sadly missing Junichiro and Fukuzawa cuz I just don't know enough about them 😔 we sad

#bungou stray dogs #atsushi Nakajima #bsd #dazai osamu #kunikida Doppo #akiko Yosano #edogawa Ranpo #kenji miyazawa #izumi kyouka #atsushi x reader #kunikida x reader #dazai x reader #yosano x reader #ranpo x reader #headcanons #bsd headcanons #bsd hcs

129 notes · View notes

thesolotomyhan · 4 years

Text

Narcos México: Dating them would include: (7/7)

ok, i was too lazy to fully edit so please forgive me if this is actually trash :((

Tags: @fandomnerd16 , @visintaes , @sheeshgivemeabreak

Warnings: NSFW!

Güerito is the softest out of everyone, a KING, you two are just so damn cute together

The most loving and affectionate relationship, im crying

Your relationship is the most talked about among everyone, the it couple from sinaloa,,,

he’s so hopelessly in love with you,,, his heart would just melt when you simply tell him you love him-

like, there is never a moment where you two are mad at each other, you’re always seen smiling and giving each other the biggest heart eyes anyone has ever witnessed- i cant,

Wherever Hector needs to make an appearance, like at a party, he’s arriving with you because there’s no Güero Palma without you-

his forehead kisses are the best

would give you them before he has to go talk business with a socio at a party and leave you with chapo or cochi

It makes him comfortable to leave you with them because he knows they’ll protect you with their lives if they have to-

“Ahorita regreso, mi cielo, si ocupas algo, avisale a Chapo, eh? No me tardo”

I cant, the way he softly speaks to you is everything,,,

he also probably looks over every 5 minutes to make sure you’re doing alright without him,,,

He’s always holding your hand - im crying

He’ll intertwine your hands and bring them to his lips to kiss your hand-

Or he’ll bring your intertwined hands to his chest, over his heart and caress your face with the other hand,,,

“este corazon es solo de ti, mi amor” i-

ok I keep thinking about the way Güerito would look at you at all times, everyday,,

The lovesick puppy look is everything,-

He could also talk about you for hours because holy shit do you have him tied down-

, nothing makes him smile brighter than seeing you get along with Chapo and Cochi, even though they tend to endlessly tease the both of you-

“Bueno, cuando piensan ustedes hacer chiquito güeritos y güeritas, pues? Pinche, Chapito ya quiere ser un padrino”-

The little look Güero throws at you when you blush and smile up at him after Cochi said that-

Honestly, Cochi and Chapo would probably be so escandalosos the day you announce your pregnancy, i-

The sinaloa family grows :))

I just know, Hector has a framed photo of you two on his desk🥺,,,

He’ll just stare at your face when he’s beginning to stress out and remind himself that he’s doing it for you,, so he can keep you happy-

My heart--, Hector gives me hardcore old school vibes, like even though you’re married, he’s always giving you the biggest bouquet of roses he can find before every. single. date.

The tiny little smile he has as he stands there when he sees your eyes light up-

“Para ti mi amor, te los escogí yo mismo” fuck

, When he takes you out to eat, he’s holding your hand from across the table, running his thumb over your knuckles-

, this man is giving you his undivided attention when you talk and giving you the most adoring smile, im dying-

ok Güero would totally be the one to take you to a “mini” date after your date

Like, he’ll take you to the neveria or even buy you 6 different antojitos for you to share with him -im sobbing

I cant even imagine how his heart would literally break whenever he sees you upset, automatically thinking what he did wrong to make you sad :(

“Mi cielo, que paso? No llores, dime, que hice” I- :(((

just the way he holds you and lets you cry into him-

ohh,, if someone hurted you, he would personally shoot up all of sinaloa if he has to in order to make you feel safe again-

He would go through hell and back just to make it up to you and see you smile,,,,

He also definitely tries his best to shield you from the business, but he can’t help but rant to you about everything that goes on

, I feel like he’ll rant to you about the time Chapo suggested his tunnel idea and hector is just over here rambling about how tf he’s going to find another way through tijuana

Its not until you speak up about maybe considering chapo’s idea, like you mention something about “por lo que me dices, no se van dar cuenta los de tijuana, mucho menos porque nadie piensa buscar abajo de tierra, hector”

Güero just pauses and looks at you, because??? You just said it so nonchalantly and made the idea make sense to him? all while making champurrado like the queen you are-

“Intelligente, mi preciosa, verdad?” as he comes up to you and tilts your face to kiss you,,

ooh the two of you making food together has my heart dying,-

domestic-hector can have my whole fucking soul,,

SoftCuddles in the morning and before bed, he would pull you on top of him and give you so many kisses on your face, your happy laughter just makes him so weak, I-

NSFW:

alright right off the bat, this man loves receiving blowjobs from you, like not only because it lowers his stress levels, but also just the way you look,, makes him hard,

when your on your knees for him, your mouth filled with his cock, and the sounds that fill up the room,,i - he has that view ingrained into his memory,,

cada vez que se encabrone, your already unbuckling his pants to help him relax in his chair at his office-

he’ll stare as you go down on him, letting out a deep low groans,-

“Un pinche angel que dios me mando, verdad mi cielo?”

as he holds the side of your face, slowly thrusting into your mouth-ok

this is going to lead into office sex, im sorry im not making the rules here

it just excites him having you lay on his workspace, gripping the desk and biting your lips to keep quiet as he pounds into you,

“no hagas ruido mi amor, yo se que puedes aguantar”

the one thing he hates about office sex tho is having to be quick because he doesn’t want to risk someone finding you naked on his desk with his cock inside of you-

and yet, you two are so good at hiding any noises that could lead to suspicion he’s banging you in his office,,

but he’s literally so shit at hiding the evidence, like, his hair and outfit are so out of place, there’s a fresh hickey on his neck and your panties were left on the floor,,

“Güero, no chingues, son las nueve de la mañana, cabron, no te podrías esperar?”

Cochi and Chapo would give him so much shit, pero le vale

ok at home though, i feel like Güero is a mix of desperate and slow, like he’ll desperately smother you in kisses, wanting to get you out of your clothes as soon as possible,,

But once he has you laid out on the bed, he’s slowing down, taking his time, worshiping you

He needs to make you feel good before he can even think about himself,, you can fight me if you don’t think this man loves going down on you

es apasionado el cabron, he’s looking up at you while he’s in between your thighs, probably has his hands wandering up your body as you cry out for him, letting you move your hips on his face -dammit

the way he’ll kiss your inner thighs when he’s done, i-

ok my soft bby needs to see your face when you have sex, he admires the way you respond to his thrusts-

i know hector would lay his forehead on yours, cooing how good youre being for him as he gently holds your face and do those slow but rough thrusts-

or he’ll plant one of his hands on your stomach, pounding into you, thinking about how beautiful you would look swole this his kid, im sorry

dont look at me, that is one of his many goals ok, quiere una familia, he goes rock hard just thinking about knocking you up-

alright, can you imagine surprising him when he comes home after a long day to see you wearing lingerie, his mind just goes blank when he sees you walk up to him

“no estoy muerto, verdad?”

his hands are automatically holding your waist as you laugh up to him, pulling him along to your bedroom,,

“no, nomas queria recordarte cuanto te amo” ,- ohh

ok-i laugh at this scenario,, but, Cochi probably teases güero non stop when he’s mad and yells at his workers

like, he’ll wander up to güero who’s fuming, a death glare in his eyes and cochi just smugly saying,

“Quieres que llamo tu mujer para que te pueda chupar a la verga?”

Güero just throws him an annoyed look, like are you being fr right now? “Callate, pendejo”

but the next day he arrives with like 15 orders of tacos for everyone with a smile and Chapo would probably be the next to call him out,,

“Que Güero, tuvistes una buena noche? Le dices a tu mujer que gracias de parte de todos aqui” ,,,

guero wouldnt even be mad at that point, probably gives them a little smile because el si tiene mujer que lo cuida-

god, riding güero, sign me tf up

this is where he’ll help you tear your clothes off on top of him and give you deep kisses that leave you breathless, helping you grind on him

he’ll wrap his arms around you and deeply thrust into you with no warning, making you throw your head back

kissing your neck as he feels you try to vigorously bounce on him, while you run your hands through his hair,,

His hands would be everywhere, one minute their grasping your ass the next he has them running all over back,,

fuck, when he grips your hips to hold you still on top of him as he roughly thrusts into you,,i-

GraBbinG his necklace, like tangling it in between your hands to tightly grasp something when he makes you shout his name- wow

#narcos mexico imagine #narcos mexico imagines #narcos imagine #hector palma salazar #el guero #hector palma x reader #narcos mexico #narcos: mexico #narcos #also im big sad theres no gifs para mi guero #is he underrated? yes :(

117 notes · View notes

emeraldbabygirl · 3 years

Text

Because my lil shit punk ass bitch friend is being a meany shit bitch fart goblin bitch ass bitch on a stick and I’ve been a sappy and gross clingy shit ass bitch for the past couple months and it’s the time of day, early in the morning, when I get most lonely and soft and clingy I’m making a tiny very super tiny appreciation post for my mutuals. My love, my friends, the squad, the homies, the mates, my support system. So eat this mf love bitches!

@ithinkilikeit-reactions MY HUBBY whomst tf I love and wish I could meet and talk to about the things we do. You are so sweet to me and I remember all those times you just send me love cause I ask for it cause I’m an attention whore or because you know I’m having a time and I just appreciate you so much

@gods-dont-negotiate hello daDDY lmao um fuck me. I’m kidding but I fucking love and adore your cute ass so fucking much you have such big dick energy and I love when you just randomly message me talking about your day or anything you are interested in or literally anything at all and I always smile whenever I’m having a hard day at work and I see your random message that is just you telling me anything because I love to hear it. You are just a ray of sunshine and we have so many things in common and I love that we understand those things and I’m comfortable telling you things and I just love how cool you are because you are cool and I wish I could hang out with you and just vibe together, maybe do some illegal hand holding 👀

@despair-lightbreaker yoU MOTHERFUCKING SHIT PIECE OF SHIT ASS BITCH ASS SHIT BITCH BITCH. You are a motherfuckin specimen. You never shut the fuck up you’re always so goddamn loud over JR and I fucking love it because bitch that’s you you stupid tall ass bitch ass tall bitch who is in love with JR and Laon and Hojin you sexy slut you, fuck off. I love how you try to dig into my brain sometimes and that one time you scared me by listing off some kinks I had and I almost passed. I love that a lot of our convos are all caps and involve the weirdest shit and calling each over ‘bitch’ and ‘hoe’ I love all the fucking nicknames you randomly come up with for me, I love whenever you review comebacks on your blog, I love how you just go balls to the wall in the tags I love that you are so confused about so many things I do and say like the whole baby bubble and 2Z and just everything, I love that..idk I just love that you’re sometimes more random than me on some things, I love your poetry, I love that you will fall dick over table for JR and it’s the cutest thing ever and it makes me laugh. Sometimes you’re just really cute bro, like fr

@excindrela remember when I used to call you my wife? I know it’s been a long time since we last talked and I’m sorry. I feel like it’s my fault actually and I need to get back with you, we used to talk all the time. I miss you a lot and I just want to hear you talk about anything and everything again. You were one of my first mutuals in here and you’re amazing and whenever I talk to you about any problem I’m having you always make me feel better. You’re like my internet mum and I really love and appreciate all those moments we have together. I miss those fun shenanigans

@thedungeonofsinners you. My god where do I start. When I first saw that what had happened with your account and that you were leaving I did cry. I felt like I lost a best friend, I didn’t know where I would find you, if I’d ever get to talk to you again and I was already in a sad mood and I just could help myself. Then when you told me you were coming back I cried again. I haven’t messaged you yet through your new account but I’m excited and happy to share all kinds of things with you. I love you so much, you go through so much and I wish I could be there with you to comfort you and just hold your hand and hold your tall ass in my arms. You are a beautiful person inside and out, truly, you are so kind but so hard on yourself and it hurts my heart. You deserve so much love and I wish for you to be happy. I love all our conversations and things we’ve talked about, I love that we have so many things in common and that we can just whore out together and it’s a good connection. It feels great to have someone that you can just release your most sinful thoughts with and just laugh and have a good time. I hope to have more of those times with you. I miss you so fucking much and wish you weren’t so far away. I wish we could hang out. The internet is so hard when you are lonely and need human contact and you just want to see your friends and things. God I hope you are taking care of yourself and doing alright. Take it easy out there and if you ever want to message me please do. I might not see it right away and I apologize if I’m not there when you really need someone to talk to. It sucks when you on the other side of the fucking rock and your sleeping schedule is already batshit crazy. I just want to be able to message you whenever you need me. I’m sorry I’m never up to see your messages but I love you and I always see them later.

I didn’t put all my mutuals cause there’s a lot of mutuals that I’m still getting to know and I don’t have a special connection with yet and that makes me sad because they are still my friends, they still matter to me, I still love them but I can’t make a post for them just yet because I don’t have anything really to say yet :( I’m sorry. I just need to talk with some of my friends more often, find out more about them, share more stories with them. I love all my friends and I want to have bonds tighter than my asshole with them. I wish you all well and I hope you are all staying safe and taking care of yourselves and your families during these times. I know it’s really hard. Makes me wanna cry honestly and I have. I just wish I could be there for all of you irl to hug and hang out with and laugh with. Hang in there my loves, we’ll all get through this.

God and I know I’m literally the worst person when it comes to time zones and I know when you really need to talk to someone you need them right then and I do always say please feel free to message me whenever. Sometimes I do procrastinate and not go to bed right away or sometimes I just get on my lunch break but I always try to check my messages and get back to you as soon as I see the message. If you want you can also send me asks or submit me something so I see it in my inbox. And if you are interested I always have twitter, snap and insta that you can message me on if you would like just let me know. Although I’m on tumblr all the time an I still haven’t added some of you on other socials yet. I’m sorry I am so bad and lazy and procrastinating is like the thing I’m so good at. I just don’t like going on Twitter or insta.

Anyway that was longer than expected but thank you all for being my friends. I love and appreciate every one of you and I always wish the best for you cause y’all deserve it! 💕💕💕💕

#appreciation post #my mutuals #my loves #rowoons pookie poo #my hubby #lous kitten #aces pussy #i need a better name for you #kwannieeeee #obiwonho #i also need more nicknames for my babies #i have one brain cell and it belongs to moth mingi moonmoon #season 2 of 3 brain cell hours

11 notes · View notes

bombuni · 4 years

Note

hey girll!!! i'm back to spam your inbox while i lose brain cells :p but can i request semi and ushi with an s/o who plays volleyball and she plays the same position as them?? hehe ty bebes -bestie :p

hi bestie ok i don’t think i really did this request right but i hope you still like it hehe <3

↳ semi and ushijima with an s/o who plays the same position as them

─ semi

semi is very proud of you. he likes to subtly show off that his s/o is talented so he’ll be like ‘yeah my s/o could do that’ to shirabu just because he likes to spite him

semi is really supportive too, if you need help with practice he’ll be there.

but of course, when he was replaced by shirabu as the main setter, it hurt him bad.

like ignores-you-for-an-entire-day bad.

he didn’t mean to, but he realized once you went to his room and caught him listening to marvins room by drake to talk to him.

you definitely helped him gain his confidence back, and i think seeing you play inspires him to be better

you’re probably shirabu’s #1 hater no matter how many times semi tells you he’s ok

semi is really sweet behind closed doors. when you win a match he’ll give you a thumbs up or maybe give you a lil smooch in public at most tendou tells him how much he sucks as a boyfriend but as soon as you guys are in private he probably picks you up and spins you around while saying ‘that’s my baby!’

whenever he sees you play he just goes weak in the knees cause he’s thinking wow...that’s mine...i’m dating that if you ask him about his dumbfounded expression after a match he will ignore you out of embarrassment

if you ever lose a match he will try his best to cheer you up. he knows how it feels and he doesn’t want his baby to be sad.

if it’s at the beginning of the relationship, he probably acts like those awkward dads who pat you on the back and call you sport or kiddo when you’re sad

later in the relationship tho, he probably understands you by now and knows what you want when this happens. if you want space, he’ll give you space. if you want to cry and watch your favorite movies, he’ll do that just for you.

tendou makes fun of him when you guys are practicing together because semi isn’t even paying attention, he’s just watching you toss

overall you guys are just an iconic volleyball duo

─ ushijima

listen...you guys...are a power couple

like when someone thinks of shiratorizawa they think of y/n and ushiwaka

but because of his honesty and his 0 social skills people think he’s the worst boyfriend who only focuses on volleyball and putting you down

but really it’s his way of supporting you. what people think is criticism is actually ‘hey i love you and want to see you succeed’ in ushiwaka language

tendou third wheels a lot of the time. like fr why don’t y’all just let him in the relationship already...

tendou makes a gagging noise whenever you compliment ushijima

you: ‘how amazing is my boyfriend, tendou?’

tendou: ‘i’m jumping out of the window’

ushi: ‘why would you do that? don’t hurt yourself, tendou’

after a match of his he just hangs out with you in your room while eating snacks. you guys discuss the match and you make jokes while ushiwaka just looks at you like 😐 but he’s laughing inside fr tendou is also there

you guys practice together A LOT. you have to tell ushiwaka to stop but you usually have to convince him by asking him to walk you home

when he sees you play, his heart is fluttering and he just loves seeing the person he loves most doing what he’s most passionate about

when you lose a match he doesn’t really know what to do. like he knows how it feels but he doesn’t know how to handle emotions

he would take you into his arms gently while you just cry into him.

it’s his way of telling you that he’s there for you and is going to support you, even if he doesn’t really know how to.

when you win a match, the most he does is give you a little smile and a ‘well done’ but he is cheering you on inside

the little smile he gives you makes you collapse from heart failure though

tendou is still in the background like: ‘i miss my man 😭 or her man 🤔 or our man 😭 whoever man it is... i jus miss him 😭😭😭💁‍♀️💁‍♀️’

overall you two are the hot, strong, and ICONIC volleyball couple with tendou

─

tags: @badboysdoitbetter2 @kaisemieita

#i genuinely might write an ushi scenario based on this #there r worms in my brain #ushijima worms #anyways thanks kale ily <3 #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #semi eita x reader #semi eita imagines #semi eita #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi imagine #ushijima wakatoshi #headcanon #soft #shiratorizawa

24 notes · View notes

softjeon · 5 years

Text

Feu Rouge | Final

• Pairing: Yoongi x Jungkook • Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff/ Romance | Brothel!AU • Words: 7,7k | written with @cassiavioletblue • Disclaimer: nsfw content, sexual abuse

↳ “Being young and offering your body - that’s not that special, is it? What makes you think I would want you? Besides who knows how you might look under those clothes?” Yoongi didn’t change his stance, just watched Jungkook start to get uncomfortable under his gaze.

« previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter »

“I don’t belong here, Yoongi.” Jungkook shook his head repeatedly, hiding his face in the sheets, “They hate me. They all hate me.” The sobs were shaking him, and he was freezing because he still hadn’t put any clothes on, and his robe just had seemed so far away when all he wanted was to drown in his own pain.

For a moment Yoongi was confused what Jungkook was talking about. “What.. what do you mean?” He was relieved that Jungkook hadn’t been hurt again but there must be something wrong or else Jungkook wouldn’t cry like that. “Nobody hates you. You are very popular with the customers and even though they might behave strangely towards you they don’t hate you per se, it’s all in their heads, you might be standing for a repressed desire or a certain scene they’ve had in their heads. This is not about you as a person. They don’t hate you. They don’t even know you.”

Jungkook kept shaking his head, while the tears were flowing down his cheeks. “The others hate me. They…hate me,” He kept hiding his face, mumbling into sheets, “They don’t want me here. They talk about me. The boys know I keep staying with you, they think I make myself superior and…and…that I use you.” A sob broke through him and Jungkook propped himself up on his elbow to look at Yoongi. “They hate me because of this.” He pointed at himself and then at Yoongi. “I never belonged here.”

That was definitely news to Yoongi.

“Wait, what? No, you must have misunderstood something. Tae asked me about how you were doing just yesterday because apparently you had been so quiet. And Namjoon wouldn’t hate you unless you have been mean to him on purpose because he thinks everyone deserves kindness. What did they say to you or do that makes you think this is how they feel about you? Is it possible that they were.. maybe just teasing you?” He avoided the topic of them while he still could because it was something too dangerously close to his own fears and insecurities. Jungkook groaned in desperation, getting up from the bed to reach for his robe. There was a thumping pain in his head, and he could still feel the smell of the customers body on his skin, which he wanted to get rid of.

“Is it teasing when they go out of the room the moment I step in? When they ignore me? Laugh about me? Jimin told me straight in my face that…that he hates me. You said Jin was supposed to tell me about the meeting with the doctor yesterday, right? The one I missed? He never told me. They know. Tae and Namjoon they just…” He sighed, “What am I supposed to say? Yes, I fucking sleep over at my boss’ room because I can’t close my eyes without panicking when I am not around him?” Jungkook sat on the edge of his bed again, hiding his face in his hands when the tears just kept streaming down his cheeks. “So, I just keep quiet. When they have lunch, I just wait in my room for them to finish. If they take too long, I sometimes can’t eat before a shift starts. They even ignore me in the main room. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Jungkook, wait, please. If it’s gotten so bad then we have to talk about it. Together. It never happened before so I just... didn’t believe it at first but if that’s how they treat you then we should all get together tomorrow and discuss this until all hard feelings have vanished. Why didn’t you tell me right away? If the customer hadn’t told me that you weren’t alright would you have even let me know that you’re not feeling well?”

He shrugged his shoulders, wiping over his cheeks, “I am bothersome. I didn’t want to burden you any more than I already do.” He took in a sharp breath and pulled in his legs a little more, feeling even guilty now that he was keeping Yoongi from doing his job. “And what do you want to say to them?” Jungkook sniffled, “That you and I share a bed and there’s nothing about it? That we won’t ever do it again?” His averted his gaze, fighting the urge to cling onto Yoongi right now, hoping that Yoongi wouldn’t tell him exactly that. That it was nothing and that they would just stop.

This was exactly why Yoongi thought that you shouldn’t let people in. Because if you did they had the power to slice your heart open with just a few little words. Just like that. “If this is what you want me to tell them then that’s what I’m going to say. But the main issue isn’t what we do or don’t do in our free time. You are all my employees and they shouldn’t treat you badly for whatever reasons. And if they do then I’ll have to remind them of the rules; that they always have a place there - as long as they play by the rules. And hurting one of their own isn’t that.”

“But we didn’t play by the rules ourselves, Yoongi, we…” Jungkook hesitated and wrapped his arms around himself, shaking from the cold and the angst he felt. “Please, don’t talk to them. I should just…I should just do something else. Go and look for another job maybe. You all have been alright without me before.” He chuckled low, not even caring to wipe away the tear that fell, “It’s my fault after all that I don’t want to let anyone else touch me anymore but you. It’s my fault I made you take me in your bed. I didn’t follow the rules.” He turned to look at Yoongi with a sad smile, “Just let me do a few customers. I can take that. Enough to make me pay you back. Let them come to my room, so I don’t have to go to the main room…just until I find something else.”

“This is not how it should work, Kook! If they are mean to you it’s by all means not your job to change! And it won’t solve the issue. And what do you mean we didn’t play by the rules; this is my brothel, I live here! I can let whoever I want inside of my bedroom.” He tried to ignore the squeamish feeling in his stomach that told him that maybe it wasn’t that simple. “And besides.. what?” He looked at the younger in bewilderness, “You don’t want.. what … what do you mean..” He swallowed harshly his thoughts kicking into overdrive - but Jungkook had also said that he wanted to get a few more customers so it couldn't be that he was saying what Yoongi hoped that he was saying. Jungkook talked about leaving him after all. He wouldn’t do that if he cared for him more than just… a nice convenient place to cuddle. “You didn’t make me do anything Jungkook. I’m very much capable of making my own decisions. So, stop trying to blame yourself for everything.” His throat closed up at the thought of what he was about to say alone but he pushed through anyways. There was no way avoiding it.

“You.. you don’t owe me anything Kook. And I won't force you to take on customers if you so clearly don’t want to. So.. you are free to leave whenever you want and.. and you can take whatever is in your room. It’s yours after all. Just…” He made a little pause as it was getting hard to breathe and even harder to control his face. “Can you promise me to at least say goodbye when you... really decide to leave? Please.. please don’t just vanish without saying a word. I... got too used to your face and your… everything. So please don’t just leave me without a proper goodbye.” He couldn’t stand there, watching Jungkook pack his things because it ripped through his heart already to know he was leaving. He had promised the boys, all of them, that they could leave whenever they wanted. But right now, the only thing he wanted to do was to hold the younger back and tell him that he wasn’t allowed to leave, that he couldn’t just vanish after he had sneaked into his heart like that.

Jungkook blinked at Yoongi with tear filled eyes. He could see the hurt in Yoongi's eyes, the fear of losing Jungkook without a goodbye, even though the other was trying hard not to show it. He could catch glimpses of it and while he was telling him not to vanish without a word, Jungkook started crying for real. He jumped forward and let his arms embrace Yoongi in a tight hug, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. This is where he wanted to stay. Not in anyone else's arms. Just him.

It took Jungkook quite a while to calm down, before he was able to pull back to look at the other again, while he still stayed close. “I think, I was only good at this because I wanted to be like the others and to prove to you that I can do this. I had nothing else,” Jungkook kept on talking quietly, while he felt tired and helpless “But I hate it. Each time they touch me, I wish it was your hands.” He stopped and searched for Yoongi’s eyes, “I don’t want to leave you, just this...job, I guess… because...be-because I only want you to have me. Is that so wrong?”

Yoongi held Jungkook close out of instinct, hugging him tight without any intentions of letting go soon. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it. That you were so unhappy. I never meant to push you into something you don’t want I hope you know that. There’ll be no more customers for you, no one you have to give yourself to unless you really want it, for ...for personal reasons. And you don’t have to buy your permission to stay either if that's what you’re doing here...” He couldn't really look into the youngers eyes while he said this, “However, if you really, actually want me...as in the person not the brothel owner...then you can have that as well.”

Jungkook held his breath when he looked at Yoongi, he cupped his cheek softly looking at the other in disbelief. His thumb caressed over his soft skin and Jungkook couldn’t help but smile through the tears. “Y-you want me, too?” Jungkook asked carefully – but he didn’t wait for an answer. Instead he just leaned in, kissing the answer right from Yoongi’s lips. His robe slipped from his shoulder, but instead of touching him further, Yoongi pushed it back up and Jungkook closer to deepen the kiss. Jungkook hated it that he could still feel the touch, the smell and the taste of the other man on his very body when all he wanted was for Yoongi to claim it all back as his.

Yoongi didn’t want to leave Jungkook alone not even for a second so he carefully suggested: “Do you want me to wait here while you take a shower? We can talk about the details tomorrow like how I should tell the others and what... what you want to do with your life. And.. about us of course.“ As he could already feel Jungkook tensing he soothed over the youngers hair, “Not tonight though. Please, just relax, make sure that you’re feeling better. And if you can’t then I’ll help you. The usual way.” A way smile on his lips promised sleepy cuddles and warm good night kisses.

Jungkook nodded sleepily, “Don’t you have to close up the reception anyways? Not that the boys are looking for you.” He leaned in again, hugging Yoongi close, before he got up and around to his drawer to get something to wear after taking the shower. When he opened the door, Jungkook turned to look at Yoongi once more and smiled.

As soon as he was out the door though, Jungkook kept his head low and his robe tightly wrapped around his body as he tiptoed his way over to the bathroom. Luckily for him the others were still busy, so they didn’t see him. Under the shower, the hot water was running down his skin, while he was washing the sorrows off his skin with each scrub. He made sure to not leave any traces of his last customer, while his mind was wandering back and forth between Yoongi, what just happened and the other boys. Biting his lip, Jungkook tried to not overthink it now, when Yoongi said he would help him figure this out tomorrow. He would be fine as long as he stayed by his side.

That much he learned by now.

While Jungkook was out of the room Yoongi went against his protective urges and went out again, closing up the reception, making sure everyone else was safe and cared for. It must have shown on his face that something was different because he could feel Namjoon’s gaze lingering on him and boring holes into his back when he finally said goodnight. It was strange to keep something from them and although him and Jungkook would only be a temporary secret it was still something unfamiliar. Because although of course he didn’t share his business decisions and accountant details with everyone he had never really hidden something from then that would affect them.

And Jungkook not being a member any longer definitely did.

Jungkook’s smile faltered a little when he saw that Yoongi wasn’t waiting for him in his room, but he quickly took the time to change the sheets of his bed and clean up around him – there were still clothes flying around everywhere – and only then did he slip under the covers. He was sure Yoongi would come as soon as he was finished with his duties. And although he felt reassured and loved, Jungkook couldn’t stop the tears from falling again. Pulling the cushion, a little tighter, Jungkook sniffled as he closed his eyes trying not to think about what it all could mean for him.

“I can’t leave you alone without you starting to cry, hm?” It wasn’t so much teasing as it was a sad way of coping with it. He’d found Jungkook crying in his bed three times now. And it was nothing he wanted to get used to it. Yoongi had carefully sneaked into the bedroom and sat down besides Jungkook. “Are you okay? If this is all too much we can take a step back, take it more slow… I know you’re in a difficult position and you might feel vulnerable and like... I’m in control of your life. I’m not. And I would never hold it against you if you decide to... to change your mind about us. I don’t want you to let me in because you think you have to because... I really like you, Jungkook. I want you to be happy above all things.”

Jungkook reached out for Yoongi with a faint smile, “Then just don’t leave me anymore.” He pulled at Yoongi’s shirt, making sure that there was no way he would leave his side but instead slipped under the covers with him, where he could settle against Yoongi’s body. “I want you to be happy, too.” Jungkook mumbled, cuddling closer to him, “I am just overwhelmed and a bit scared, but I know it’s going to be alright. And stop thinking this is about us…” Jungkook chuckled, wiping over his cheek as he looked up at Yoongi. He hovered over him, cocking his head to the side as he reached out to caress over his hair. “I trust you, Yoongi.” Leaning in, Jungkook placed a kiss on Yoongi’s chin, then one on his cheek and then his lips. “Because I love you.”

Hearing those words for real had Yoongi shuddered from the raw intensity of what he was feeling. He had learned to get by, to make a living, to earn money and get respect - but nothing, none of his achievements made stars burst inside him and make him forget to breathe from the realization of how much he had been yearning to hear those words from someone who meant that and who reached as deeply into his heart as Yoongi reached into his. He kissed Jungkook back, with still shaking fingers and the contradictory feelings of ‘too much (emotions)’ and ‘not enough’ (closeness and abilities to express what he was feeling)’ fighting in his chest. Jungkook smiled against the kiss, feeling the love and longing as he didn’t need any words from Yoongi. He knew. Pulling away from him, Jungkook snuggled back against his side, leaning his head on his chest. He could feel Yoongi’s quickened heartbeat and it made him giggle softly, as he placed his hand over it.

“Are you nervous, Mr. Min?” Jungkook blinked up at him when the urge to yawn came over him and he shook himself, nuzzling his face in the crook of Yoongi’s neck. He rubbed his eyes, pursing his lips into a pout cutely. “There’s nothing to worry about anymore. No stupid rules about relationships with your workers,” Jungkook yawned again adding tiredly, “Because I quit.”

…

„I quit,“ Jungkook breathed out and finally gazed up at his friends, biting his lips in anticipation. Namjoon’s eyes widened while Taehyung gasped, looking from Yoongi – who was sitting right behind his desk like he usually did – back to Jungkook who was standing next to it.

“Why?” Taehyung asked and Jungkook shrugged his shoulders in response. “It’s not really been what I was looking for,” He sighed, “I thought I could do this, and I managed to get by…but I don’t feel like it’s the right thing to do anymore. I haven’t been feeling good here lately. A lot happened.” Jungkook could see how they both averted their gazes, knowing it had been difficult the past weeks with the other members and Jungkook around. “I told Yoongi last night,” Jungkook rubbed up and down his arm as he tried a smile, “And I wanted you to know, too. Because I am not leaving out of any other reason than the job not being right for me. I am so thankful for everything you did for me, for showing me around and taking me in.”

“Is it.. because of what happened? When you ...got hurt a few weeks ago?” Namjoon searched for Yoongi’s eyes while questioning Jungkook, wondering why he had let them come to his office instead of just having Jungkook tell them over breakfast or something. It had become quite obvious how much the younger meant to Yoongi but Namjoon was still curious about to which extent they were a ‘thing’. “Because if it’s that we could also team up. Take on customers together. You wouldn’t be alone, and you would always have someone who’s got your back around you…” He mentioned, content with the way Yoongi almost jerked at his suggestion.

“No…and yes.” Jungkook was visibly uncomfortable. “It definitely helped with the decision.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood as he looked over to Yoongi for reassurance. “I don’t like it. I’ve never really liked it if I had to be honest,” Jungkook confessed, “I just had to do it because I had nothing else. I needed this job and I am grateful for Yoongi taking me in. So, I just hope you guys can understand. I’ll still be around for a while. I just won’t take in any customers.” He turned to look at Yoongi again, his cheeks blushing lightly, “Yoongi offered me to stay until I figured it all out. I hope you guys can understand my decision.” He gulped against the lump in his throat, “I will tell the others as soon as they wake up or are back from the market. You’ve just been around first, and I always felt the closest to you.” Saying that, Taehyung jumped up to hug Jungkook tight and the younger giggled softly as he put his arms around him, mumbling a quiet ‘thank you’. It was easier than Jungkook would have thought and he was sure that he could tell the others, too. Yoongi had convinced him to stay by his side each time, as he wanted to make sure he got treated well and wasn’t affected by it in any way. He was just scared to see Jungkook cry again. He wouldn’t been able to take it. When Jungkook left the office with Taehyung having his arm wrapped around his shoulder, Namjoon stayed behind.

“Letting him stay even though he quit,” Namjoon mumbled, shaking his head as he smiled lovingly at Yoongi. “I’ve never seen you this soft…for anyone, really...”

“That’s got nothing to do with being ‘soft’ I just couldn’t kick him out just because he couldn’t work anymore so..”

“So, you generously offered for him to stay until he’s found something else he can do. Because nowadays jobs rain from heaven.” Namjoon interrupted him. His words might sound harsh, but his smile was still amused (and he would have never talked like this in front of Jungkook, but he knew Yoongi could take a healthy dose of sarcasm). “Stop trying to fool me Yoongi. If you wanted to play mother Teresa there are a bunch of kids out there who have it worse than Jungkook. You’re not helping him because you don’t want to be cruel, you’re helping him because you like him.”

Yoongi leaned back in his seat apparently unbothered but Namjoon could easily see through it and detect the nervousness under the mask. He had known Yoongi for too long now.

“Don’t be stupid, Namjoon. I’m older than him and you just heard him, he doesn’t want to work here anymore, he’ll leave and then I’ll never see him again. So even if I did like him then that’s all there could that could ever be: Me liking him. Nothing more.”

“Yeah, you tell yourself that, old man.” The smirk on Namjoon’s face was so cocky that Yoongi would have loved to wipe it off his face. “He won’t leave you like this anyways.” Namjoon leaned back in his chair, “He likes you just as much. And I don’t know how, when or what exactly happened but Jungkook’s got you wrapped around his finger. So, what will you do about it?” Namjoon’s voice softened a little as he looked at Yoongi in earnest, “You’re in love, Yoongi. Do you really expect me to believe you will let him go like that?”

Yoongi’s facade crumbled under Namjoon’s sharp eyes. “I..I guess I have to? What else am I supposed to do? Keep him here and let him do nothing with his live? He’s young enough to still have a chance out there. And Innocent enough to still believe that he can achieve what he wants. So, he might even succeed. If I keep him here I’ll crush his dreams and his spirit alike. Besides, come on, I’m not the right person for him to be around. A brothel owner. I never believed in finding a ‘partner for life’ or something cheesy like that, that stuff just doesn’t happen to people like us. And I’m content with what I have achieved, financial security, personal independency, the ability to provide some kind of safety for you boys even if it might be fragile and shallow and less than perfect. But it’s something. So, I’m content. Being with Jungkook is like a glimpse of a better version of reality. But I’m not stupid I’m glad for the taste of love that I got but I won’t tear him down with me just because I can’t let go. He should bloom, be what he wants to be. He’ll always be reminded of the more unpleasant part of society if he stays.”

“I don’t think Jungkook cares much about what your job is, really. Maybe you’re exactly the right person for him to be around. You’re not a bad person because you own a brothel. Indeed, you’re a brilliant businessman and a caring person.” Namjoon nodded at his own statement, “Maybe people like us can be lucky too sometimes.” He leaned over to look at Yoongi more sternly. Namjoon laughed, putting his hands up in defense, “Not that I want to destroy your bad guy image but… You’re not as bad as you might think you are. Don’t pretend like you’re a bad influence on him. You’re not. And even if…maybe Jungkook doesn’t care. Thinking about it, you can actually be the one giving him the chance to achieve something out there. This is a fucking small town, Yoongi. He won’t get far. Or somewhere safe. And that’s what you want, right? To keep him safe.”

Yoongi took a deep breath. Namjoons words had started to stir up hope within him but he still wasn’t entirely convinced that it wouldn’t be selfish to keep in contact with Jungkook. He wasn’t the altruistic type; he couldn’t just watch Jungkook fall in love with someone else, so he either did what he could to help the boy - and then cut the connection or he would want to keep him, as his boyfriend, his partner, his little piece of heaven. “What do you mean? Of course, I want him safe. But it’s not like anybody could really shield anybody from...life’s harms.”

Namjoon nodded at that, “But at least he has someone to come home to then, where he knows he will be safe and feel loved. You can’t ever know what’s going to happen in life… I mean,” He waved his hand around, “Look at all of us…but if Jungkook has a chance to get a chance for a better life. Why not give him that?” Namjoon got up from his seat and sighed, “Sometimes it’s worth it to try.” He smiled and turned on his heel, wanting to leave Yoongi with his own thoughts because he was very well aware that one shouldn’t push Yoongi for too long or he would close up like a clam. But when he reached the door, he looked over his shoulder one last time when a thought hit him. “Didn’t you always want to expand? I heard Paris is nice in spring,” Not waiting for an answer, Namjoon closed the door behind him.

Yoongi scoffed. And there he was getting lectures from one of his boys. Still he couldn’t deny that what Namjoon had told him held some truth. And what he had suggested about Paris… Yoongi leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. He made a good sum of money each year. And Namjoon was right he always had wanted to leave this place and go to the city. He knew he’d never have the chance to establish himself there with brothels all over and cheap ones at that. But it wasn’t like he wanted to expand in that way. He knew that all of the boys reached a breaking point sooner or later, from different reasons; maybe they couldn’t do it anymore like Jungkook or it took a toll on their body (like it would be with Hoseok one day) - or they simply grew too old to be of interest for his customers. Till now he never had to send someone away - but they all knew that they would have to go work something else in about ten years. Cause there would always come someone younger than them. So Yoongi had dreamed about buying a place in the city where the ones who couldn’t find a place themselves could stay. Sure, they’d have to work something but with the costs of finding a place to live taken from them they had better options, maybe could even follow their heart and do what they wanted and not what brought money quickly and directly. Because the only jobs who did that were found in the underground - or in heights they would never reach. So maybe now was the right time to try out this dream. It would be risky and expensive, and he could only hope that he could keep the costs stable or it would bring him down. But if it worked... then Jungkook could be the first resident there.

....

Jungkook had been stretching out the time to tell the others about leaving all day, but when he finally finished to tell the news to Hoseok and Jin (who weren’t really surprised but still apologized for the hard times they were giving him) he was glad. It felt good to get it right off his chest as it felt like something heavy was lifted making him breathe a little more freely. Only telling Jimin was still making him feel anxious. He hadn’t found Jimin anywhere all day and no one had seen him really. So, Jungkook figured that talking to the other right before it was their shift wouldn’t be a good idea. Yoongi and him agreed on telling him tomorrow, as he wanted to stay by Jungkook's side, when he passed Jimin’s room and heard something.

A sniffle.

A quiet little sob that made Jungkook stop.

His heart stopped for a second as he pushed against the door that was only leaning against its frame. Jungkook could clearly hear someone crying and despite him being afraid that Jimin could scream at him, he stepped into his room.

Of course, Jimin heard him and he whipped around, eyes narrowing when he saw that it was Jungkook who had tried to sneak into his room. “Get the hell out of here!” Jimin’s voice would have sounded mean if it wasn’t so broken and his eyes full of tears. He sat beside the bed, hugging his knees, holding himself as if he would fall apart if nothing would hold him together.

“I will as soon as I know that you’re okay,” Jungkook held up his hands in front of him as if to show Jimin that he was coming in without weapons or anything alike. His voice was soft, and he slowly kneeled down in front of Jimin, a few meters away to keep his distance. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? Jimin, please. I know you hate me…but do you need me to get Yoongi? Someone else?” Jungkook was shaking, as he felt like he was stumbling into a scene he knew too well. Crying in his own bedroom. The fear evident in his eyes. Hugging his knees tightly. He knew it to damn well.

Jimin laughed, a sad and bitter sound. “Don’t pretend to care now. And I’m fine, I’m always going to be fine. I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’ll never make it further than this. In fact, I can be grateful that I’m even allowed to stay. But someone’s got to fill the hole when you’re leaving us. Was it how you thought it would be? Being one of us for a while? Sitting with the broken ones until you decided you had enough?”

Jungkook averted his gaze onto the floor, blinking his eyes as he felt like tearing up already. He was so mad at himself for not fighting more for their friendship, for making sure Jimin saw that he always had cared about him. “Jimin,” Jungkook said softly and looked up, “I wish it would have been so easy. I just can’t do this anymore. It’s breaking me apart. I am sorry, really, I am.” He wiped over his cheek quickly to not let it show how hard it was for him to not be affected by the way Jimin was hurting. “I never ‘had enough’ of you guys. I am still so thankful for you taking me in and telling me to come here. But I am not good enough for this…and you’re not filling a hole, Jimin. You’re so special to Yoongi. To everyone here.” He hesitated for a second, taking a deep breath, “I am sorry I wasn’t a better friend for you. I really am.”

“Aren’t you an angel?” Jimin smiled but it was a desperate one, something you forced onto your face when you didn’t know what else to do. “And I so totally understand. Of course, you can’t do this. Someone so beautiful, so nice like you… you shouldn’t be in a place like this. With people who can’t just decide to quit because they don’t feel like it any longer. You want to know how often I’ve been hurt? How often I had wished that I could quit? I thought that no one could just walk away from this - until you came and looked at Yoongi with your pretty eyes and pretty smile. He fell so easily for you, didn’t he? Forgetting about me the second you were around. I don’t blame him. It’s just natural. Him, the customers.. even I could see it. There’ll always be different kinds of people. The ones who just get what they want and those who can yearn and wish and hope and try and if they’re lucky then someday someone might give them a taste of what it feels to be special. Until someone like you comes along and takes it away.”

He didn’t even care that Jungkook saw him crying. He had nothing left to lose anyway, not even his pride.

Jungkook couldn’t help but let the tears fall onto his cheeks, because Jimin’s words hurt. They hurt a lot. “He didn’t forget about you and…and it’s not…,” Jungkook sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. “I am sorry,” He said and opened his eyes to look at Jimin again. “I am sorry because I never wanted to hurt you in any way. I wanted to be like you.” He chuckled to himself, “God, how many times I dreamed about being like you. Confident, loved and adored by everyone. I didn’t know you felt this way about me. I am not special in any way.” There was just too much information to process, the hurt making his heart ache painfully in his chest and Jungkook just wished to take away Jimin’s pain and sorrow. “I never wanted or intended to take away anything from you, Jimin. You’ve always been the star here and everyone knows it. I was just the new kid. Yoongi would never let go off you, believe me…” He stopped and hastily added, “I mean only if you really wanted to go of course.”

“Nah, there’s nothing else there waiting for me anyway.” Jimin wiped over his face which was kind of pointless because the tears kept coming. He hadn’t cried in a while and now that the tears had started to spill it seemed his body tried to wash out everything that he had held back for so long. “You’re right, there’s nothing special about you. Just your beauty and your spirit and how everyone else can’t help but love you in a way. You might not see it. But believe me when I tell you from my point of view you should take everything you can get for as long as you can. You might never have to feel what it’s like to be on the other side of the story - and I really hope you don’t because you can’t even imagine how much it hurts - but if you do then at least you’ll have something that you can look back to. Think about that there’s someone who loved you. It must feel nice. To be seen. To be loved for who you are.”

“I am sorry I never said a word about what I felt for Yoongi. I was scared,” Jungkook bit his lip, “Very much so. I’ve never experienced it like this before and I knew you would judge me for it. And I wanted to be sure at first, but you guys saw it way before I even realized it all.” He smiled faintly, “I am grateful to have him, but I wouldn’t be anywhere if it wasn’t for you guys. You mean a lot to me, Jimin. I am sorry I wasn’t a better friend. I didn’t see how much it was hurting you.”

“It’s fine.” Jimin relaxed a little. He felt the exhaustion settle in and he embraced it fully because it meant he would be out cold in a few minutes. Not having to think or to feel sounded like heaven to him. “You can’t help it, can you? Hating you for getting everything I can’t would be like hating the sun for shining. It’s just how your life is. The sun peeking through no matter what. Good luck with everything. Rumor has it Yoongi will send you to Paris. It’s a beautiful city. You’ll be so happy there…” Jimin tried to get up onto the bed but failed from the way he had been crouching for too long, trying to get some life back in his limbs. “Would you mind letting me get some rest? I’d like to sleep a little before work tonight.” His smile was soft and friendly, no trace from the desperation or hurt he had shown before.

Jungkook was up to help Jimin right away, while at the same time he was confused about what the younger just said as the words slowly settled into his brain. “Paris? What do you mean?” Jungkook asked carefully as he walked around Jimin’s bed, hating the fact that he couldn’t make the other feel better in any way. Only by walking away from him and letting him sleep.

“Actually, I think that’s my cue.” Yoongi sheepishly knocked against the slightly opened door though considering he was already standing half in the door meant it was a more symbolic gesture. “Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear your last sentence, I was around looking for…” His voice died out. Of course, they all knew he had been looking for Jungkook. Who else. Jimin smiled again, only the way he curled in on himself more tightly did show that this didn’t leave him cold. Yoongi swallowed hard before starting to speak again, soft and gentle. “Jimin, before you go to work tonight, could you please come to my office?” It was obvious, even to him, standing at the door how the younger immediately tensed up so he quickly added, “It’s nothing serious, you’re fine, I promise, I just.. think we need to talk...about a few things. And.. I know I missed our last dinner. So maybe you want to eat with me twice this week? To make up for it. But...as I said we can talk about it later. Just rest for now.“ He motioned for Jungkook to come with him before quietly retreating.

Jungkook followed him quickly, smiling at Jimin one last time who looked a little happier again. He waited for Yoongi to close the door behind him, as he quickly wiped his sweater paws over his eyes to get rid of any tracks of tears on his face.

“You’re so good with people,” Jungkook mumbled as he caught up with him and they walked side by side. “Maybe he’ll forgive me one day,” Jungkook had to bite his lip to keep his emotions in check, before he got a hold of Yoongi’s wrist and stopped him from walking further. “But what was Jimin talking about? P-paris?” His voice was shaking more than he’d like to admit.

Yoongi shook his head “I’m not. I’m just trying to fix what I broke with Jimin here. He’s a little more.. sensitive than the others and I should have known not to make him feel neglected. If I was good with people then I would know where to draw the line but it’s always a “push and pull” with me, I’m afraid to let people get to close but on the other hand I want to be there for them as well and seeing them hurting hurts me too. People are difficult.” He sighed but then chuckled to himself. “Except for you. You’re just simply cute and fluffy through and through.” Of course, he was joking but it was worth it to lighten the mood and distract Jungkook from his worry about Jimin.

However, he got serious again as soon as Jungkook mentioned Paris, visibly shaken by the prospect to be send away without being asked. “Yeah, about that… it was just an idea, really and I wanted to discuss it with you first - obviously - but apparently my boys are so quick at gossip that they found out before I could even properly make up my mind. So, as you already know now and there’s no use in beating around the bush: How do you feel about moving to Paris and trying to get a job you like there? You’ll have lots of opportunities, way more than you’d ever find here and... if you can stay there without paying rent than there’s no pressure on you to find something the very first day. You can take food for a week and… and I could visit you on the weekend to... bring more, it’s just a forty minute train drive... buy you supplies or… I don’t know be some kind of boyfriend...maybe? If you want to?” He had gotten more and more nervous the longer he spoke and now he was afraid of looking at Jungkook. Not only was he scared that Jungkook might reject him - but also that the other might think he was trying to coerce him into being his personal ‘toy’ or ‘pet’, living in some kind of ‘holiday home’ in the city in exchange for his ‘services’ - like rich people tend to do it.

“It’s not.. I’m not trying to make you… you could pay me back if you want to, a certain percentage, after you’ve finished your ..qualification of whatever kind and started to work. Or…I don’t know we could work out something else?” Jungkook had stopped and wasn’t talking so Yoongi could feel his hands getting sweaty. “Could you please… say something? Please?”

Jungkook was speechless, blinking at Yoongi for a few more moments before he finally moved. “You...you have a house in Paris?” Jungkook couldn’t process what Yoongi had just told him, his heart beating fast and his mind going crazy with all the possibilities he was laying out for him. Yoongi loved him. He wanted to be with him. Jungkook had been so scared that the moment he would be send away or had to leave for a new job that he would lose Yoongi, too.

“No, I don‘t have anything there yet, but I can find something. Or send you there with Namjoon and let you choose something. He knows my accounts, what I can afford how to handle the paperwork. And you wouldn‘t be alone. I just...can‘t leave the ‘Feu rouge’ for more than one or two days. If I‘m not around some of the customers might see it as an invitation to forget all the rules I established, and I won‘t put the others in danger. But if this idea with Paris works out then maybe I can close the brothel for one or two days a week. Maybe the others will embrace the rest as then…“ Before he could end his panicked speech he suddenly had an armful of Jungkook who was hugging him as if he had just heard the best news of his life. Jungkook pulled him in a tight hug, then cupped his cheeks and kissed him. He poured all of his emotions in the kiss before he pulled away. He didn’t care who could see them out on the hallway of the ‘Feu Rouge’. He didn’t care about anything but Yoongi. “My boyfriend,” Jungkook giggled softly and kissed Yoongi again, stroking through his hair and over his cheek. “As long as I can be with you, I’d go anywhere.” He bit his lip, “Will you stay there with me one day? Will the boys come too?”

Every worry and fear melted away under Jungkook‘s kisses and he felt warm and content allover. “Yeah, as soon as I feel like our income is stable and… and if the boys all find something where they can provide for themselves.. then there won‘t be a need for the brothel anymore. I guess there are ways to help in Paris too.“

Jungkook just smiled at Yoongi and nodded in thought. “Why do you care so much about me,” He mumbled against Yoongi’s lips again to kiss him once more. “I’m glad I stumbled into this job,” He gigged softly into his neck, kissing him right on his soft skin there. “But I figured the others never showed you ‘how they work’ to prove to you that they are good, huh?” Jungkook laughed and took Yoongi’s hand to pull him along, “You could have just asked me to kiss you just because you wanted to. I would have done it anyways. I would have done anything for you.” He turned to walk backwards, while he held onto Yoongi’s hand, “Still would.” He winked, before he added, “Now come, we have a trip to plan and houses to look at.”

“Why do..? You idiot!” He fondly ruffled Jungkook’s hair. I just told you that I Love you. You just want to hear me say it again, hm?” He blushed furiously at Jungkook’s sharp remark, feeling like he’d been caught with his hand still in the cookie jar. “Uhm, if you’re asking me like this I… not directly.. like I’ve kissed some of them or demonstrated something here or there but normally... I don’t sleep with them and instead let a well-known customer have some kind of ‘tryout session’ before.” He sighed, still embarrassed but glad that Jungkook wasn’t mad at him for it. “Honestly at that point I was still trying to convince myself that I was just really interested in you and nothing more. I… tried not to admit to myself how much I liked you in fear of accidentally pushing you into something you don’t want but.. you weren’t shy with your affection, so I eventually gave up. I didn’t really have a chance against my heart and your charms. I’ll keep that in mind though. That you would still do anything for me.” He laughed, freely and happy and more hopeful than he had been for a very long time.

The End.

A/N: Another short story is done! :) I hope you guys liked it!!! The last chapter of ‘Piece me together’ will come out this week as well and then next week we will start with new stories! A Yoonkook Pirate AU is coming (look at the trailer here) and the Hybrid!Namgi is also soon to be posted! We’re working hard on new stories for you and hope you enjoy them just as much as Cat and I love writing them.

Oh, and since a lot of people were a bit confused about the other characters in the story Cat has summarized a bit about them so you can understand their intentions better: Jungkookie is totally right, they do treat him differently and it’s stiff and awkward and strange. Just for different reason than he thinks (except for Jimin, he pretty much figured that out even though he doesn‘t get that it‘s nothing personal and that Jimin‘s reactions are born out of fear and a twisted sense of self-protection not a dislike of Kook per se)

There‘s Taehyung who is absolutely guilt ridden because he had opened that door that night and saw a sleeping Kook instead of someone who was paralyzed from pain. He lies awake at night and thinks about how Kook must have felt, lying there, alone and hurt, the incident playing in his head over and over again. He can’t look at Jungkook without feeling nauseous with his guilt and it takes a lot of time and reassurance from others for him to overcome that.

Hoseok thinks he’s guilty in this as well. He normally is the one who sorts out the twisted ones, the heavier stuff and even though of course a no means no for him as well he somehow feels like he could have protected Kook if he had taken that customer himself. If he had seen behind the facade of that man or if he had been the one to go with him then it wouldn’t have happened to Kook (in case you’re wondering: yes, he thinks the younger ones, those with their innocence still intact are ‘worth more’ than ‘people like him’ who had been to hell and back even before the Feu rouge. No matter how often Yoongi tells him that ‘damage’ doesn’t diminish your ‘worth’ as a person he can’t believe it (yet)) So he thinks he failed Jungkook by not looking out and seeing what was about to happen.

Jin’s tactic when faced with pain and misery is repression; he covers everything up with jokes and a smile. So at first whenever he saw the younger and the sadness in his eyes, the lingering pain in his movements he tried to joke around to take Kook’s mind of things and make it go away for a second, make him smile for at least a moment. It didn’t work though, Kook was irritated, maybe even felt like Jin didn’t care about what happened to him because of how he acted like everything was peachy and when Jin noticed that it didn’t work, that it rather hurt Kook more he stopped. But he couldn’t help it, it’s the only coping mechanism he knows so he avoided talking to Kook in general, making the other feel as if he was right in his thoughts that Jin didn’t care about him. While in reality Jin is just totally helpless.

Namjoon is a little more complicated. He is Yoongi’s right hand in a way, helping him in the office, having an eye on the boys. He feels responsible, like Hoseok, that he didn’t prevent it. In his case though he thinks he should have prepared Jungkook better. He normally talks to people after a while, about the ‘dark side’ of their job, telling them how to react when they are threatened, what signs to give the others when they don’t want to go with a customer but feel like they can’t say no. In summary he gives the boys some tools to protect themselves better and reminds them that they are a family, always around, ready to help each other. He didn’t do that with Kook. He always waits for a while to let the boys ease into it and not overwhelm them with everything bad that can happen right away because he doesn’t want them to go out there scared, just prepared. And Jungkook settled in so well, he was so sweet, keeping his innocent mind somehow that Namjoon.. he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bear to reminding Kook of all the risks and pain and evil that was just around the corner with their job. And so he told himself he’d wait a bit longer with it, just a little bit longer, postponing it again and again – until it was too late. So he thinks it is his fault that Kook got hurt because if he told him what to do then maybe Kook would have realized in time what was happening or dared to protect himself the second the man overstepped his boundaries for the first time or he would have been bold enough to scream so that they could have stopped it.. So he hates himself for this. He doesn’t want to burden Kook more than he already is so he locks his feelings away but he still can’t look Jungkook in the eyes anymore which makes him look distant and cold and emotionless and makes Jungkook feel as if Namjoon doesn’t want to talk to him at all while Namjoon would do anything, anything to go back and talk to Kook in time to prevent what has happened to him. - @cassiavioletblue

Subscribed: @angeljk @bunnyboyjjk @bngtnsnyndn-ily @whatarelarryfeels @jeonsdear @mikrokosmostae @p-ixelite @lissachan504 @wise-bts-collector @nochuukookie @h-e-l-p-m-e-p-l-e-a-s-e00 @hisheartsmile @lxnehxre@violetrose120 @fusselkuchen @gelsavitichi @minsugasnerd @yoonqiful @thenameoftherain @jjkscnery @tobi-love @banaani-mins @writeasifwordsarepaintbrushes @lissachan504 @it-is-dana @nomimits7 @laur-zipan@mytokyos @queen-but-trash @the-magic-shoppe @homewithbts @calicojam @wet-for-bts @ksjinandtonic @b-ultaorune @persephonelovesbts @maryana-san

↳ If you want to be tagged in new updates you can now sign up in my subscription list here!

127 notes · View notes

riverdamien · 3 years

Text

Stations 6 and 7--The Transfiguration

Today is the Feast of Transfiguration (Mark 9:2-13). We are on the mountain with Jesus, we see him transfigured in glory, and that is the Jesus we want to stay with.

We want to sit with the three disciples and stay there, not go down the hill. It is too scary, too many people are hurting, and we may be hurt.

The truth Jesus confronts us with is that we must go back down the mountain, we must walk with people, suffer with them, and, to be hurt, and yes be crucified. . We must walk in the Tenderloin, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, walk in the midst of the dirt, and tents surrounding us. We must walk up to the person in the doorway and care for them. As they say, "There is no gain without pain!" We are called to carry the cross!

Station 6: Jesus is Scourged and Crowned with Thorns

“Then Pilate had Jesus flogged with a lead-tipped whip. The soldiers wove a crown of thorns and put it on his head, and they put a purple robe on him. “Hail, King of the Jews” they mocked, as they slapped him across the face.” John 19:1-3.

------

WE SHAKE WITH JOY

“We shake with joy, we shake with grief.

What a time they have, these two

housed as they are in the same body.”

We hear the cries of those who are homeless, sexually and physically abused; we hear the cries of the “dispossessed”, and their words penetrate our hearts: “The pain is so intense I do not want to live.”

Let us pray:

We sit smug in our apartments and homes, we have plenty to eat, clothes to wear, and we fail to see Jesus being scourged before our very eyes in the person in our doorways; we fail to listen to young men and women who cry out in their pain of hunger, loneliness, and pain of abuse; we flog you each time we fail to listen.

O flogged and mocked Jesus let us acknowledge both the pain and the joy in our bodies, and work to bring joy for others out of that pain so that others may live. Amen.

Station 7: Jesus Bears the Cross

“When they saw him, the leading priests and Temple guards began shouting, “Crucify him, crucify him.”…….”Away with him,” they yelled. “Away with him!” “What crucify your king?” Pilate asked. “We have no king but Caesar,” the leading priests shouted back. Then Pilate turned Jesus over to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus away. Carrying the cross by himself. .”

--------------------------------

“If God exists he isn’t just churches and mathematics.

He’s the forest, He’s the desert.

He’s the ice caps, that are dying.

He’s the ghetto and the Museum of Fine Arts… . ..

And still, pressed into my mind, the river

keeps coming, touching me, passing on its

long journey, its pale, infallible voice

singing. From: AT THE RIVER CLARION”

We are to love everyone, to exclude no one. The rich man must love the poor man, but the poor man must love the rich man.

We are to love those who hate us-those who are indifferent to us. Most baffling of all—those whom we do not know, whom we shall never meet on this earth.

This intense self-giving love is to be given to them. The mystery deepens when we think of who those people are, the mystery deepens-when called to love:

-Criminals— regardless of their crime

-homeless, the thousands ignored on our streets; the many known by the name “displaced persons”;

-peopled forced into labor camps, and slavery.

We have difficulty thinking of them, we put them out of our minds.

Jesus carries the cross for all of them, for all who suffer, the displaced, the homeless—He carries that cross for us. Jesus carries the cross to enable change us, to give us the ability to give self-giving love, not expecting anything in return.

He calls us into a closer and more real identification with him.

The Examin

The Word

And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

—Matthew 6:5-8

Reflect

I am created in the image of a God who is One. I am unique. The Father loves me personally. I thank God for who I am.

1. Give Thanks. I thank God for this day, for my life, for all I am and have, and for His Word.

2. Pray for Light. I ask the Father to let me see my day as the Holy Spirit sees it, and to show me what I need to see.

3. Find God. I look at my day in the light of the Spirit.

What I have done? Did I do what I had planned? What happened that wasn’t planned? How did I respond? What did my heart tell me?

4. Anything Wrong?

Have I been anxious? Sad? Focused on myself? Does something in a relationship need to be addressed? Have I been ungrateful?

5. What Now?

What do I need from God today? What do I need to do today? Tomorrow?

Prayer

When I go now to my inner room, God my Father, Creator of my inmost self, I go with ashes on my forehead and in my soul for what I have done and for the little love, I return to You. Is it repentance enough that I accept as mine the burden laid on all of us by all of us? May I embrace as my own and offer to You the sufferings of the world that invade my day— the child in terror, the man without work, the woman wrapped in oppression and disdain? Let me feel the grief that weighed like lead on Jesus’ heart and know His unyielding love for me. Amen.

-------------

Fr. River Damien Sims, sfw, D.Min., D.S.T.

P.O. Box 642656

San Francisco, CA 94164

www.temenos.org

0 notes

Last Seen Blogs